#my doctor said she knew the first appointment even though i hadn’t completed any testing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

userholland · 4 years ago

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all for her [3]

pairing: dad!bartender!tom x female!reader

warnings: cursing, lots of angst

summary: a single-dad bartender, a supportive best friend and their continuous, unrequited love noticed by his optimistic daughter. is it possible to break a heart they never knew they had?

word count: 8.7k!

a/n: another month has passed but! finally here’s part 3!!! sorry for the delay but i was caught in between this rut & midterms so it took a while for any big ideas to spark. but i’m so happy that so many of y’all have enjoyed this story. i want to say again that this is my favorite fic series i’ve ever written so thank you so so much for appreciating it! i may end with 5 parts, but i won’t leave y’all hanging!

— masterlist ☆彡

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

A week had passed since the gruesome bar fight and Tom was still left with a dark bruise surrounding his right eye along with another on the side of his chin and the start of his jaw. Luckily, there were no broken bones or dislocated limbs, but it was made known that he had a concussion after you forced him to go to the emergency room and get properly looked at by a doctor. As stubborn as he was, Tom tried listening to the careful instructions given for the follow-up appointments that would come, but everything went in one ear and out the other.

“We want to make sure each part of the brain that was impacted is still intact, so we want you to see this specialist and they’ll run a few cognitive tests to make sure everything is okay.” The doctor explained in simple terms as he scribbled the information on his prescription pad and ripped it off.

You nodded, taking the paper from him, “How much is all this?”

“It’s not too costly, but insurance should cover most of it.” He reassured, glancing at you before looking back at Tom’s chart, “I recommend a lot of rest and time away from work for at least two to three days.”

Tom quickly looked over, “I can’t take off work right now. I really can’t afford to do that right now.”

“Mr. Holland, we want to make sure that there’s no way you could injure yourself even more than now. You need to take a few rest days in order to relax and stay away from anything strenuous.”

“I’m a bartender, I think I can-”

“Tom... relax, please.” You retorted at him, your jaw slightly clenched.

Tom stared out the window with his side against the wall, feeling like he was miles away even though he was just across the room. You peered over at him a few times throughout the appointment, but you knew he didn’t want to be here. One of the strings of his black hoodie curled around his pointer finger, pulling on the coil before letting it spring back, repeating it a few times as the doctor continued informing to you.

He’d been fixated on the results of the DNA test. It was rooted in his mind from how many times he read over it, convincing himself it wasn’t true and it was a huge mistake. Doubt consumed his thoughts, wondering how he could have been so stupid to fall for the entire ruse even though Tom never regretted one moment of raising Summer. He loved her so much and would do anything to have her back, but finding out the truth made it harder for him to figure out if he should still be fighting for her.

Throughout the nights, he tossed and turned enough to wake you up, feeling his pull on the sheets. Sometimes you’d hold him from behind, curling your arms and locking them to make him feel safe. You pressed your cheek against his back, the eerily sound of his heartbeat against your ear as it quickly thudded. His thumb brushed over the top of your hand, remembering that you were still there, but when he closed his eyes, every thought crawled its way back in and cluttered his mind enough to make him want to burst into an angry fit.

After a few minutes, the doctor left you two to gather your things. Tom ran his hand over his hair as he started to walk to the door, but you blocked him from taking another step. With your arms crossed in front of your chest and your eyebrows furrowed, Tom knew that look was never good.

“Talk to me… C’mon, what’s going on? What’s on your mind?” You softly asked, still looking into his eyes.

Tom ran his hands down his face, a light groan leaving his lips from the frustration slowly building inside his entire body.

��I don’t want to talk about it now, Y/N. Please. I’m fucking embarrassed enough.” He huffed.

“Then when are you gonna talk about it?” You retorted, your eyebrows furrowed from concern, “You can’t keep the weight of the world on your shoulders forever.”

He shrugged, “I’m not Summer’s dad. That’s it! It was all fucking nothing. It doesn’t matter-”

“It’s always mattered, Tom!” You whisper-shouted, not wanting to make a scene with everyone passing by even though the door was closed, “What Maggie did to you was fucked up, but you raised that girl to be who she is now and that’s what matters.”

Tom gulped, his tired eyes beginning to water as he kept eye contact with you. His bottom lip quivered, but he quickly wiped his tears with his hoodie sleeve. The dryness in his throat hurt and even closing his bruised eye was painful to do, making him curse under his breath every time. He clenched his jaw tight as he rubbed the back of his neck, but you placed your hands on each side of his delicate face.

It was hard to see him in this state where nothing mattered to him and there was a greyness that clouded over the great and wonderful person he truly was. It wasn’t the Tom you grew up with, not even close, so to see this side of him for the first time astonished you, and you weren’t sure what else it would take to see his old self other than getting Summer back.

He ran his hand over his soft curls, “Can we just go home?”

“Yeah, but remember we have a call with a lawyer tomorrow morning. He thinks you could get a good settlement deal since the guy who beat you up had prior arrests.” You reminded him, pecking his cheek then rubbing your thumb over the bruised skin under his eye.

Tom nodded, “You know we can’t afford this guy.”

“We’ll make it work.” You said, wrapping your arms around his waist with his around your neck.

He licked his lips, “Y/N, I’m not gonna make you pay for it.”

“Who said you were making me? I know you want her back as much as I do.” You sniffled, gently holding his face so he could look into your sincere eyes and saw the way they gleamed.

Neither of you wanted to surrender and it never crossed your minds to give up on Summer, but it was getting harder when you felt like Tom was a ticking time bomb and it could only take Maggie’s choice of words to pick at the one nerve no one else could reach to make him completely snap.

Your noses brushed together with your foreheads lightly pressed, both of you reminding yourselves that you had one another. Tom placed his hand on your cheek before leaning in, feeling how soft and light your lips were against his and tasting your minty chapstick. As your eyes tightly closed, you shared a slow kiss with your arms still loosely wrapped around his neck. It was a blissful kiss, one you hadn’t shared in a while, but it was comforting in moments like this where you were terrified of what was to come.

When Tom pulled away, he planted a faint kiss on the center of your forehead, “I love you so much.”

“I love you so much more.” You mumbled as you looked into his beautiful, russet eyes, “C’mon. Let’s go home and put some ice on that eye again, maybe take a nap after.” You hinted.

He half-smiled, “That sounds nice.”

You quickly furrowed your eyebrows, pouted your bottom lip, “Hmm, and maybe take a shower, you look like hell.” You joked, raking your fingers through the front of his messy curls to the crown of his head.

Tom rolled his eyes and smirked, “You know you used to be nicer to me, like when we were kids.”

“Well that’s before I fell for you, I can’t get too soft… plus, I think it balances your ego.” You smiled, pressing your lips against his while the two of you giggled within another kiss.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

Later that afternoon, you and Tom were napping on the couch with the TV on low volume. The birds chirped by the window and traffic was below the terrace, the sudden honks echoing between the buildings. You were laying between Tom’s legs, the fluffy blanket over your whole body. With your arms loose around Tom’s torso, you slumbered with your head comfortably against his chest. Tom wanted to go some sleep, blinking his dry eyes every few seconds to keep himself awake, trying to distract himself with his phone.

Light snores left your lips, your face hiding in his neck as you unconsciously curled up more. Tom stretched his neck a bit, making sure you were okay before running his hand over your hair. If he could lose Summer, Tom worried that you could slip away just as easily. He never realized how protective he was, hoping it wouldn’t push you away from his own faults and insecurities; he didn’t want to be left alone.

Tom kissed the top of your hair, nuzzling his face against the top of your head. Throughout this, you were his rock, an anchor to hold him down when things got to be too much and he couldn’t believe how supportive you were with how confused he was. You held him when he cried and you listened to him when he needed to vent. It was things you’d done before, but you both felt emotionally closer like another wall had fallen and there was nothing you couldn’t tell each other.

He slowly raked his fingers through the crown of your head to the end of your back, over and over as you peacefully napped before his phone vibrated against the coffee table. You stirred in your sleep, turning your head away and loosely wrapping your arm under Tom’s neck. As his vision cleared from his sleepy daze, Tom furrowed his eyebrows at the contact name.

“Hey, baby, I have to take this,” Tom said in a low tone, not wanting to completely wake you up.

You nodded, your eyes still closed, but Tom slowly got on his feet. After he placed the blanket over you, Tom went out to his bedroom so you could have some quiet.

“Hey, dad.” He answered.

“Hey, Tommy.”

His father always had the same monotone voice, like a poker face that he had to figure out since he was born.

“What’s going on? Is Sheryl okay?” Tom replied, sitting down on the bed.

Ever since his dad got remarried a few years ago, Tom and his father’s relationship slowly parted over time. With work, school, and a kid, Tom didn’t have time to take the backhanded compliments and concerned parenting skills that his new stepmom persistently gave to him on any family occasion. They used to have dinners together every Saturday night when Tom could get away from the city and school, but each one got worse. The last straw was around this time last year, it was Thanksgiving dinner and the blowout was something Tom tried to forget every other week. He couldn’t even bring it all up to you which was hard to keep since it’s been biting at his nerves for the last year.

As Summer got older, Tom didn’t want her to think she was “some kind of mistake” as Sheryl would put it. So for the sake of her, he told himself that his family wasn’t going to cost his daughter’s happiness and he never returned a call back until now. She asked about her grandparents around birthdays or holidays throughout the year, but it was getting harder for Tom to avoid the question when she wouldn’t give up sometimes.

Even though Tom’s mom was usually out of the country, she made sure to send presents, pictures and call every other weekend to make sure he and Summer were okay, but Tom would never admit to her if something was wrong. His mom was never there, not for him growing up and rarely now, but he knew she was trying to make up for it holiday after holiday.

“Uh, she’s well. We’re fine. I just wanted to call you and ask what’s going on… How’s Summer?” His dad genuinely asked.

Tom chuckled, “Why do you ask?”

His father hesitated for a second with his answer, “I haven’t heard from you in a while. Your mom called me and said that she hadn’t heard from you either. So, we’re just worried about you…”

“Yeah… yeah.” Tom raised his eyebrows as he rolled his eyes.

He heard his father sigh, “I know things weren’t the best the last time I saw you-”

“Some woman I barely know tells me that I can’t raise my daughter? That she was a mistake? No, dad. I should be visiting even more after that.” Tom retorted, grinning to mask how the anger was building up inside him slowly but surely.

“She’s your stepmom.”

“Not to me.”

Tom’s dad didn’t fight back his bitter attitude, “Tom, I just want to talk to you. It’s just you and me.”

“Dad, I’m really… not in the mood.”

“Let’s get lunch… or dinner, maybe? Just the two of us.” His dad suggested, almost pleading.

There was silence between the conversation as Tom thought for a few seconds. As damaged as his bond was with his dad, he didn’t want to push him away. It would be what Maggie was doing to him, and to feel the separation from a child hurt like hell.

Tom sniffled, “Fine, yeah. Sure.”

“Great. Well, what about dinner tonight? Where do you want to meet?”

“Um, we can meet at the bar I work at… before my shift starts. Six o’clock.” Tom trailed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Okay, I’ll see you then.”

Tom quickly hung up before he could burst into tears. In the back of his mind, he thought there was an ultimatum behind the real reason he wanted to talk, not thinking it was just some catching up. But, the stress of the past month had made Tom into a walking mess. Maybe this would bring back some old times, like when he was a kid in a baseball cap and his dad brought him to baseball games and carnivals when his mom was on business trips.

“Fucking Christ,” Tom said under his breath, running his hands through his hair. He blinked away the tears at the waterlines of his tired eyes, wiping them with his t-shirt before getting up.

It was still hard to pass Summer’s room and see it still untouched and empty. Tom kept it neat and clean, hoping it motivated his hope to have her back home. Sometimes he’d sit on her bed and think about the little life the three of you had together. She probably missed her stuffed animals she had tea parties with or the t-shirts she couldn’t fit in her bag. Maggie refused to let him over anymore, not after the last time they saw each other and how frustrated he got. It was hard to think that Tom was holding out for nothing, and Summer could never be in his life again.

He leaned against the doorframe, staring at the bunny sitting on her bed. It was the bunny you and Tom spent hours looking for sometimes, one day realizing that Summer started to do it on purpose. She would hide it in the last place you could think of and it became a race of who could find Mr. Fluffycakes first. She finally admitted one day that she thought it was a game that you and Tom liked to play, so she would try to find the perfect place to almost camouflage the soft, grey bunny.

Tom held it in his hands, bring it up to his face, and smelling the familiar, lavender-vanilla detergent. He sighed, glaring at the small paintings taped with scotch tape to her wall by the dollhouse in the corner of her room. It was Summer’s favorite Christmas present she had ever gotten, Tom’s mom hoping she’d like it after getting it from London. She traveled a lot, always sending things in the mail to Summer, but rarely making appearances with how much she did work. Tom hoped that would change from when he was a kid, but now he understood how his parents ended up separating.

“You okay, babe?” You grinned, leaning on the doorframe and glaring at Tom sat on Summer’s book nook.

“Yeah, just miss her.” He half-smiled, biting his bottom lip after and tossing her bunny on the bed.

You walked over, sitting next to Tom and wrapping your arm around his shoulder before kissing his temple trailing to the apple of his cheek then lightly pressing your nose against his cheek.

“I bet she misses you a lot too.” You replied. “Have you heard from Maggie? Any chance of… seeing her? Maybe a short visit.” You asked, pulling your head away to turn to him.

He nodded, “We haven’t talked. I don’t want Summer to see me like this anyways.” Tom said low, lightly touching his bruised eye.

“C’mon, you look noble and tough. She’ll think you’re more of a hero than you already are.” You joked, trying to get a smile out of him.

“Hmm, I wish I felt like that.” Tom sighed.

Trying to figure out the gears working in Tom’s head was always a mystery. You watched his brown eyes shift back and forth as he was leaned over, his elbows against the top of his knees. Another long sigh passed his lips and you could tell something else was really bothering him, not needing him to say it.

“What’s wrong, baby? C’mon, you have that furrow in your brow.” You tilted your head.

He bit the inside of his cheek, his pride fighting his urge to just open his mouth, but he had a soft spot for you like no one else could. The instant Tom looked into your eyes, he felt the comfort he knew he needed.

“My dad called me, just now.”

“Oh… Is that good or bad?” You asked.

He cracked his knuckles, shrugging, “Both, kind of...”

You didn’t know much about Tom and his dad’s relationship other than Tom hating his stepmom, in light terms than he used. But, he wanted Summer to keep in contact with them for as long as he could. So many years had passed since you last saw his dad, so it didn’t feel right to butt in when you knew the bare minimum, but last Thanksgiving was unforgivable in Tom’s book so you stood by his side on what he felt.

“We’re gonna meet for dinner tonight… at the bar. I want to take a shift tonight.” Tom added.

You sighed, “Tom, you can’t work. We have to go to the doctor soon.”

“Just tonight. I promise. I… I need to do something with myself.” He groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair, rubbing the top of his head before looking back into your eyes.

“Okay… I understand. But, just tonight.” You agreed and rubbed his arm, pressing your cheek against his shoulder.

Tom sat up, straightening his back and you pulled your face away from his shoulder to look him in the eye. Your faces were close together, a few inches away before he asked, “Can you come with me? ‘Cause, I don’t think I can do it alone.” He admitted then bit the inside of his cheek.

You tried to hide your smile, happy that he was opening up a bit at a time.

“Of course, babe. I’ll go with you for however long you need me.” You said as you trailed your hand to his, intertwining your fingers together and giving him a quick squeeze. Tom’s smile slowly painted on his tired face, bringing the top of your hand to his lips.

“Thank you. Really, thank you. You don’t know how grateful I am for you.”

“Well, I have all day.” You jeered and it made him smile again, wrapping his arms around you to scatter kisses on your cheek and neck.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The bar wasn’t busy during the late afternoon, before the fleet of college students and single women came through for the nightlife. But it was a relaxed spot when the sun was still out. A few husky men sat at the bar, eating chips and drinking pints to watch the various games on the flat screens or truckers stopping by for a nice meal and taking a smoke outside. It wasn’t the most formal place to meet up, but Tom had work in two hours so it was more convenient than worrisome to impress his dad.

You and Tom sat at a table for four, sitting next to one another and your arm linked around his. He was dressed in his work attire which was a dark-blue button-down paired with a white t-shirt with his name tag on the right side of his chest, solid black jeans that were a bit baggy on him, and his raggedy converse with the laces looped around the ankle once. He kept checking his watch every few minutes while he tapped his right foot against the floor and it began to make you a bit antsy.

“Baby, you need to relax.” You reminded him, lightly pressing your hand down on his thigh.

“I am. I’m just mentally preparing for what he’s gonna say to me.” He sighed as he sat up in his chair.

“Like what?”

“Oh, you really want me to go through the entire list?” Tom sarcastically joked, a half-smile on his lips.

You humored him with a giggle, but nodded your head, “You’re overthinking it. It’ll be okay and I’m right here next to you.”

Tom leaned in, giving you a light kiss that made your stomach fill with butterflies. You never knew how tender he could be when he didn’t seem like the kind of guy who enjoyed PDA. But, he became putty when he was around you by this point that it was hard not to want to kiss you when you comforted him.

He quickly looked down at his watch again, “He’s almost an hour late. He probably bailed.”

“Don’t say that. He’s gonna come, maybe, he’s just in weekend traffic.” You tried to keep his head up.

Tom rubbed the back of his neck, but he couldn’t help but slowly feeling the creeping feeling of abandonment on his shoulders. He wanted to give his dad a chance, he really did, but this was reminding him of how he was never the most reliable. It twisted Tom’s trust issues in every person he met and having to be forced to sit there, wondering and waiting, was eating Tom alive.

Another half-hour passed and Tom decided to clock in early. He didn’t feel like having to sit there for another hour, only to be asked and told exactly what he expected to hear. You told him that you’d sit at the end of the bar, staying with him until he specifically asked you to go home, but really you wanted to hang around to make sure Tom didn’t get into another bar fight that ended up with him having more than a concussion.

Some college students fled in and asked for a round of beers while others waited for their favorite cocktails. There was enough staff tonight that Tom didn’t feel overwhelmed like last few times, sometimes having to clock in on days he didn’t work because someone called in sick. The new guys were nice, most of them young and needing something to do during graduate school or trying to make rent.

As Tom wiped down the bar when a group of girls left, his manager, Teddy, called his name from behind. He quickly looked over his shoulder and tossed the rag in the bucket underneath the bar, walking over to Teddy who never failed to not have a clipboard in his hands. He never took off his wedding ring at work like some of the other servers and bartenders and even so, he gushed about his wife, Anna, when he could. Even though he sounded like a broken record some days, Tom admired how Teddy flaunted his stable, almost 20-year relationship.

“Glad to see you back, Tommy!” Teddy grinned at him, putting his hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah. I feel better, I just have to go to a few doctor’s appointments, if that’s okay with you.” Tom asked in the moment, crossing his arms.

“Of course! Of course. For how long you’ve been working here, I don’t think you’ve ever taken a sick day or called in last minute.”

“It’s just been two years, Teddy. You make me sound old.” Tom joked, cracking a smile.

“Yeah, but I still appreciate you. You’re a valuable asset.”

Tom didn’t want to take the compliment, but he still nodded and grinned.

“Hey, have you heard anything from that guy’s lawyers? Are they giving you any compensation?” Teddy curiously asked as he wrote with his signature, blue pen on the paper of the clipboard.

“My girlfriend and I found a lawyer, but I don’t know if he’s good enough to make sure I get the money I’m supposed to get. We’re working it out.” Tom reassured him as he glared at his feet.

Teddy smiled at Tom, big and sincere, “Well, as long as you have that support, you’ll be prepared for anything that comes your way. I’m sure your daughter will too.”

Tom nodded, “Yeah… She’s a great kid.”

He still hadn’t told anyone at work what had happened with Summer, seeing it was no one’s business other than everyone knowing he got hired because he was a single dad trying to provide for his daughter, at least who he thought was his daughter.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to work. Let me know if you need anything.” Teddy acknowledged before walking to the kitchen through the doors.

Tom bit his bottom lip before sealing his lips, looking out at the crowd coming in. Out of habit, he checked his watch again, but quickly turned away to not keep holding out with his dad to come. When Tom’s gaze landed on you, his eyes softened a bit at the natural glow you had. You were talking to a girl who you knew in college, both of you still sat at the end of the bar and you smiled and laughed with her.

As he walked over to where you were, your eyes went to him and your friend looked over her shoulder.

“I’ll see you around, Y/N.” She grinned, flashing Tom a friendly smile before she walked back over to her table of friends.

Tom’s eyes followed her then turned his focus to you, leaning on the bar, “Who was that?”

“She was in a few of my classes in college. Good friend. She thought that I had a pretty cute boyfriend too. Apparently, his black eye makes him look very brawny.” You teased, bringing your class of water to your lips as you watched him chuckle.

“Is he here tonight? I’d love to meet him finally.” Tom joked back.

The brightness was back in his brown eyes, a glimmer of hazel under the warm light. You hadn’t seen that gleam in a long time and it was a good sign and as much as you couldn’t know what was going through his mind, you just wanted more moments like this. Both of you away from the apartment where you weren’t secluded to walls that had too many memories built within them.

You leaned on the bar, your nose brushing against Tom’s before you shared a sweet, short kiss. You giggled against your lips as he did too, but you pulled back when you heard someone say his name from behind.

Tom’s dad stood there, his hair was a salt-and-pepper shade and a few lines along his face. The shoulders of his cargo jacket were wet from the downpour outside, a few raindrops dripping down his forehead and nose.

“Hey, Dad…” Tom sighed.

You turned to Tom, “Go, it’ll be okay, baby.” You reassured him, placing your hand on top of his.

“Okay. I’ll see you in a bit.” Tom said before giving you another kiss then walked around the bar to meet with his dad in the middle of the floor.

“Do you wanna sit?” His dad asked him, gesturing his hand to the table next to them.

“Yeah, I just have a few minutes,” Tom said, pulling out the chair.

His dad furrowed his eyebrows, “What happened to your face? Did you get into a fight?”

“Uh, yeah. Sort of. It’s not important.” Tom deflected as he lightly touched his eye, not thinking his bruise was that noticeable in the dim lighting of the table.

“I think it’s important.” His dad chuckled, leaning on the table to get a closer look, “C’mon, who was it?”

Tom nodded his head, “That’s not why you’re here to talk, Dad.” He said lowly, crossing his arms.

“Well, I wanted to catch up. How are you? How’s Summer?” His dad tried to carry the conversation in a more positive manner, hoping he could connect with Tom without it becoming an argument.

“Um, Summer’s fine. She’s in kindergarten this year.” Tom replied.

“Wow! Kindergarten already? It’s like yesterday you were that age. You would always wear that damn baseball hat everyday… your mom would throw a fit and she tried to hide it from you all the time, but you managed to always find it. Ah, she just loved when your hair grew out.” His dad chuckled, leaning back in his chair and he glanced over at you.

“Yeah… She’s getting older.”

“You have a picture?” His dad quickly asked.

Tom pulled out his phone, scrolling through his gallery until he found a picture from a few weeks ago at her birthday party. It was when Summer was blowing out her candles, her knees pressed into the chair cushion and her one hand pushing her up on the table while the casted one was by her side as she tried to reach the top of the cake.

“She broke her arm? Geez, what’s going on in your lives?” His dad smiled at the picture before Tom took his phone back.

“Her and Y/N went ice skating and she fell and… it was a whole thing, but she’s okay now.”

His dad grinned, “Is that Y/N over there?” He nodded his head in your direction.

Tom looked over his shoulder at you, still sat at the bar and you were talking with one of the bartenders. You crossed your leg over the other as you carried the conversation with a glowing smile painted on your lips, gesturing with your one hand while the other cupped your drink. The red and yellow lights strobed against your face, highlighting it past all the people passing by to get drinks or dance on the other side of the room. You felt Tom’s eyes glued to you, making you stare back at him and give him a playful wink.

“Yeah. We’re... dating now.” Tom admitted, glancing down at the table and drawing slow circles with his index finger on the polished wood.

Tom’s dad smiled, “Yeah well, you always had a crush on her. Glad to know you guys are still close. She was always a nice kid and… from what you told me, she was good with Summer.”

Every time Summer’s name was brought up, it struck Tom’s nerve and it made his face heat up. The more he talked about her, the more upset he got about what was going on complied with the other things going on in his life. Tom clenched his jaw, not able to reply and his dad could see he was upset. Even though Tom was growing older and he was his own man, his father could always tell when something was wrong. As much as Tom didn’t think anyone could figure him out, his dad could read him like the back of his hand.

“Is something else going on? Other than me just showing up?” His dad tilted his head to try to look at Tom.

As Tom’s pride fought his ego, he didn’t want to feel like he was suddenly giving into his father now that he was sitting in front of him. The idea of talking to his dad made him upset and brought back cruel memories, but now that he was venting and talking about things he thought he would be angry about, this seemed like a better time than any other to explain what was really going on.

Tom picked at his nail, trying to find the first words to say to how he felt without it feeling like a corny, emotional sitcom moment.

His face heated up, “I… I sort of found out that I’m… not Summer’s biological father.” Tom pinned his lips, tears developing by the corners of his eyes saying it out loud.

Tom’s father was shocked, not showing it on his face, but he gulped, “Are you sure?”

“A hundred percent. I took a DNA test at the doctor’s and… it sort of just… Well, I trust it enough to take it one time. The girl who’s her mom took her away, probably just for the child support, but I can’t figure out what to do… It’s been a month without her and I can’t sleep anymore, Dad. I raised her and I never doubted she was my daughter until now.” Tom choked up, a dryness in his throat making it hard to take a deep breath. He ran his hand over the top of his hair, weaving his fingers through the fluffy brown curls and pushing it away from his forehead.

His dad took a few seconds to contain his thoughts, wanting to truly think before he spoke and knew how much Summer meant to Tom.

“And on top of that, this asshole threw a punch at me at the bar last week and that’s how I got this.” Tom gestured to his eye, “And now I’m trying to get a settlement, but I don’t think I can afford the lawyer, and… everything is falling apart.” Tom trailed, finally looking right into his dad’s eyes who’s were similar to his.

Tom lowered his head, trying to hold his tears back at the sudden release of everything on his mind.

“I know you raised that little girl so well and I’ve always admired you for that.” His dad started.

Tom ran his hands down his face, sniffling as the whites of his eyes turned a light red. He couldn’t look at him as his father started to talk, worrying it was going to be a backhanded compliment and it was the wrong decision to do this.

“But, it’s gonna be hard to get her back if she’s not yours… but, if you find out more about how the mother feels about Summer and the whole situation, I can get in contact with a good lawyer or steer you in the direction of one.” His dad offered, but Tom nodded his head in response.

“Dad, I can’t do that.”

“I’m your father and I’m not gonna leave you hanging like this… I know you love Summer and you raised her. I’m not gonna let you drown yourself in a settlement on top of that, okay?”

“I��m not a kid anymore. I can take care of this-”

“You’re not, I know that! You’re a grown adult who’s just needing some help and that’s fine.” His dad emphasized, understanding how hard-headed his own son could be.

Tom nodded, “I want it to be a loan. I can pay you back for however long it takes.”

“No, no. Let me help you out… as your dad. I’m not a bank, I’m not… anyone else. I’m your father and I know that if you were taken away from like Summer was to you, I’d want everything to be as smooth as possible.” His dad explained, trying to show how much he truly cared about his son despite the cold, bitter tension between them for the past year and a half.

The two of them sat there with the noise of the people’s conversations around to fill the silence, but Tom came to his decision and he nodded, “Okay. It’s a deal.”

They didn’t even shake hands, let alone hug, but the thankfulness was implied. Tom’s dad grinned at his son, the one who was just a little kid he wishes he truly gave the world to instead of sitting here thinking he had a lot to make up for.

“Other than all of that, have things been good otherwise?” His dad asked, glancing up at him.

Tom chuckled, “Just this and not much else. It’s been pretty boring without Summer around. But, Y/N has made it better.”

“Is she a keeper?” His dad grinned.

“She’s more than that. She’s really great and I could… see her in my life forever.”

His dad smiled, “I remember when she broke her arm and you just went on and on about dropping her homework at her house. I had to… call the school and get the parent contact information and then you were all jittery and nervous in the car. Even gelled your hair that day.” He recalled, smiling at the memory.

Tom blushed, “I wasn’t that nervous.”

“She really is a sweet girl. I’m happy for you.” His dad appreciated him, nice to see a smile finally on his face.

“Thanks, Dad.” Tom’s smile curled up, patches on red painting his cheeks at the thought of you even if you were sitting a few feet away.

“Well, it looks busy here so, maybe we can reschedule for an actual dinner. One that I don’t have to tip you for.” His dad jokes as they both stand up from their seats.

“Yeah, yeah. Of course. Definitely.” Tom nodded, running his sweaty palms down the front of his pants.

“It was really nice to see you. Don’t be a stranger.” His dad stood in front of him, staring at the mature and put-together man his son had become in the blink of an eye. It was a bittersweet feeling that maybe their time apart was leading up to this moment.

“I won’t.” Tom grinned, leaning in and wrapping his one arm around his dad.

His dad linked his arm around him as well, his hand meeting Tom’s back and giving it a few rubs before they pulled apart.

“I’ll keep in touch with you about the lawyer.”

“Thanks again.” Tom nodded.

You glanced over your shoulder, watching them go their own ways and his dad gave a quick wave to you. When your eyes shifted to Tom, he had a glow on his face, wanting to hide his smile by sealing his lips. You couldn’t help but grin, swiveling the barstool around to face him and you reached out for his hand.

“How did it go?” You simply asked, placing your hand on top of your knee.

Tom nodded, “It was fine, we can talk about it more when I get home.”

“No, tell me now.” You giggled, not wanting to put a damper on his news.

He half-smiled, “Just know that everything is going in the right direction. My dad said he’d help me a little bit with the settlement stuff and that way I can focus on Summer and what we’re gonna do.”

You ran your thumb over the top of his hand, “I’m really proud of you, you know that?”

“It was nothing-”

“It was something.” You retorted with a sweet smile, giving a light squeeze to his hand, “C’mhere.”

You placed your hand on his cheek, pulling him in to press a soft kiss on his lips. Deep down, he knew it wasn’t easy, but he didn’t want to take pride in something that seemed silly after it had happened. Luckily, he had you to remind him that he was taking the steps he needed to get Summer back. It was the first time you could see the light inside him even if he didn’t want to show it. Just from the difference in his smile, there was that gleam of hope.

As you pulled away, you sealed your lips and grinned at him. Your nose scrunched up as you both giggled, suddenly overwhelmed by the happiness filling yours and Tom’s hearts. You brushed your nose against his, your foreheads pressing together before he gave you another light kiss.

“Okay, I gotta work. You should go home, get some rest.”

“Well, I kind of wanna stay. It’s nice here and you’re just someone cute to look at.” You tilted your head.

“Why don’t you order something, on me, relax for a while and I’ll try to get off work early. Maybe, we can pick up ice cream on the way home to celebrate.”

“Celebrate? Must have been really great news that I can’t wait to hear in detail.” You jeered and he planted a light kiss on your forehead before rounding behind the bar. He grabbed his rag, shoving it in his back pocket and you turned around toward him.

“What would you like to drink tonight, ma’am?” Tom said jokingly, placing a cocktail napkin on the bar in front of you.

Your lips to the side, “A rum and coke and make it dirty, Mr. Barkeep.”

He chuckled as he pulled a glass off the bottom shelf, beginning to make your drink in swift moves. He looked so natural behind the bar as he poured the bottles in intricate ways, finishing off the beverage with two cherries.

“Let me know if you need anything.” He smiled followed by a wink.

“Nothing I can say in public.” You teased before taking a sip of your drink.

Tom smirked at you before moving down the bar, tending to other customers with a natural smile on his lips. You tilted your head with your drink in your hand, almost in awe of him and how handsome he was.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The night was getting louder while the crowd was growing, some people passing by bumping your shoulder even though you were still sat at the bar. You saw a few friends and struck up conversations with them to catch up, not completely bored while Tom was working, but you were worried about him. You hoped that he wouldn’t oddly hurt himself, having to take him to the ER and give him a good “I told you so” talk on the way there.

As you worked on your second drink, your phone vibrated in your purse and the screen lit up. You furrowed your eyebrow at the unknown number but still decided to take it in case it was important. You asked your friend to save your seat as you took your purse, moving through the crowd to get outside. The rain was pouring still, but you stood underneath the awning of the bar as people ran under it, drying themselves off before entering.

“Hello? This is Y/N.”

“Y/N? It’s Summer.” She whimpered, her voice at a whisper.

She stole Maggie’s phone that she left on the charger in her room, sneaking it away and using the emergency numbers written on the tag of her backpack. Tom didn’t answer first, making her worried so she decided to call you and hoped to hear your voice she missed so much.

Your heart dropped, “Summer? Are you okay?”

“No, the lady is mean. She makes me go to bed early with no bedtime stories like Daddy said she would. She-she’s not fun and she leaves me with a strange lady next door.” She sniffled, curled up behind her bedroom door.

“Wh-What strange lady?”

“She’s old and mean too. I don’t wanna be here anymore. I wanna be with you and daddy.” Summer continued to cry at a low volume, muffling her whimpers to not let Maggie hear in the next door.

You felt your heart breaking, not sure what to say since she wasn’t your kid but, in a way, she was. You pinched your nose bridge and the heavy rain making it hard to have a clear mind.

“Um, um, have you talked to your dad? Are you safe?” You asked, frantic as her.

“N-no, Daddy didn’t answer. Please come pick me up. I hate it here.” She wept, her voice shakey as she begged.

You nodded, not able to take it anymore, “You wait there, we’re gonna come to get you.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The time was almost midnight, but a loud knock echoed against Maggie’s door. She groaned, getting herself out of bed and thinking it was a drunk at the wrong apartment or someone playing a prank. As she approached the door, Maggie put her hair into a bun to clear her vision when she approached the door in the dark. After flicking on the light switch for the warm light above her, she opened the door and saw Tom dripping wet.

“Tom?... It’s almost midnight. I told you not to come here again.”

Tom sighed, “Y/N got a call from Summer and she was upset.”

Maggie rolled her eyes, “I can’t believe she took my phone. Jesus, what did you teach her? Because she’s been acting out in school, whenever I’m at work, I can’t take her anywhere!” She complained, her arm slapping against her side as the other held the door open.

“I didn’t teach her that. You’re the one who doesn’t know her and I know you’re not treating her right.”

“Oh, how do you know?”

“You leave her with some strange woman when you’re not here?”

“It’s my mother, Tom. I work, I have an actual job, okay? Not some side gig at a crappy bar where I can live on my tips.” She retorted, but it made Tom’s anger quickly grow.

Tom ran his hand through his wet hair, almost defeated by how defensive she was.

“Why are you doing this? She’s upset and she wants to see me.”

“Well, Summer is just a kid, she’ll get over it. Not getting her way is a part of life, Tom. God! You babied her so much that she just comes crying to you.” Maggie hissed at him, ready to slam the door in his face.

“She is a baby! She’s a kid, Maggie. She called Y/N because she can’t stand you. Do you think that’s good for her? Being here?” Tom yelled back, his jaw clenched and his face heating up.

“You know, I’m getting really sick of you saying what Y/N thinks is good for Summer like she’s her stepmother or something.”

“And where were you being mom of the year? Huh? Why do you have such a problem with her, Maggie? She’s the one who helped me throughout raising Summer, not you because you were never here!”

Maggie crossed her arms, her only defense since she didn’t have any words.

“Where were you when she took her first steps? Her first words? When she got her first A in kindergarten? Did you take her to the hospital when you thought she had a peanut allergy or when she fell ice skating? Who was there for her, Maggie?!” Tom persisted, his eyes filling with tears at how angry he felt.

Maggie couldn’t look Tom in the eyes because it was all true, she knew it this whole time, but hearing it out loud made her even feel a bit guilty.

“So, why do you suddenly want her now? Is it money? Or do you really want her to be in your life? I can arrange it any way you want if you really do what her back in your life, but I don’t think it’s fair that you just swoop up and take her away when she’s my kid too. A kid that I raised since you left her on my doorstep six years ago.”

Maggie chuckled out of spite, “You’d never get it.”

“Then tell me! Tell me so I understand. It’s just us right now. Y/N isn’t here and all I want is Summer back home so, what is the reason, Maggie?” Tom asked, his voice a bit more calm, but still frustrated that he hadn’t gotten a straight answer the entire time they had been standing there, “I know there’s a reason why you didn’t tell me all these years that she wasn’t mine. You know it and I know it… I just want you to be honest with me. Okay?” Tom retorted.

She sighed, stepping outside and closing the door behind her. As she rubbed her hands down her face, her breath was shaky as the truth was trying to inch out of your mouth.

“I… Summer’s dad and I were dating and I told him about her and he was… upset. Like, he thought I was just a bad mom and he said he’d leave me if I didn’t just take care of her.” She huffed, shrugging at how stupid it sounded coming out.

Tom was baffled, but he let her explain herself without interrupting.

“H-He left to Vegas or San Diego or wherever. He left me again and now I just… I wanted to prove myself!” She whined, gritting her teeth as a tear trailed down her cheek, “But, she hates me and I don’t blame her, but I know I’m not a mom. I never… wanted a kid, okay? I just… I wanted him back.”

All Tom thought was that she was selfish. He could yell and scream all he wanted, taking Summer away from her in the next few seconds, but nevertheless, he controlled his breathing and tried to hear her out.

“Anything else?” He asked looking down at his feet, his arms crossed and feeling a chill from the AC.

Her eyes were teary, but she nodded, “Don’t hate me, please. Please.” She begged at a whisper.

“I don’t… Just, do the right thing now and let her come back home.” Tom sighed, his voice broken as well.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

Your body felt on fire from how anxious you felt, your foot tapping against the floor of Tom’s car. You waited, thinking your heart was going to burst in your chest if you had to wait any longer. A few minutes went by, concentrating on the time on the radio, but the heavy rain made the car windows look like stained glass. You hated biting at your nails, but you couldn’t help it after hearing Summer’s scared voice.

You curled up in the passenger seat, pulling on the seatbelt. You couldn’t just sit there anymore and do nothing, but stare at the dashboard and listen to the rain hitting the windshield. Your eyes began to tear up, wiping them quickly with the sleeves of your shirt, but you turned your head when you heard the back door open.

Tom was soaked from head to toe by this point, but Summer was curled around him before he set her on the seats. She had her backpack on, her hair damp and she was in her matching pajamas. Rain dripped off her noise and she wiped her wet forehead with the back of her hand.

“You get buckled in, just buckle in, okay?” Tom told her, still standing in the rain as he gave her the buckle of the seatbelt.

She nodded, guiding it across her body and pushing it in the lock until she heard the click.

“There you go.” He nodded, shutting the door and walking around the front of the car.

You sealed your lips as tears ran down your cheeks, tasting how salty your tears were. When Tom sat down, practically throwing himself into the car, your eyes met and you smiled at him. There was a sense of relief back in your lives at this moment, possibly a perfect one. As you glanced over your shoulder, Summer’s head was against the door and her eyes were heavy, but you reached your hand back to meet hers, holding it so tight that you never could think to let go again.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

tags/taglist: @felicityparkers @dhtomholland @duskholland @sinisterspidey@itstaskeen @tomhollandsgirlfriend @bi-writes @infinite-imagination @honeyspidey @hollandcrush @sunsetholland @pparkersbitch @namoreno @calltothewild @spideyspeaches @veryholland @osterfieldshollandgirl @slutforsebstan @bi-lmg @sunshinepeterparkr @annathesillyfriend @madmadmilk @antigoneidk @hollandcreep @wierdflowerpower

#tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #tom holland x reader #tom holland x female!reader #dad!tom #bartender!tom

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saturnsummer · 3 years ago

Text

flutter and kicks

notes: from lay's @/__ryubeom tweet + a pregnant solhwi anon ask. in headcanon form since it's more spontaneous!

hello tumblr fam! i know, it’s been long... but ficfest and all has kept me kinda busy. a little different this time! a headcanon after a long time, since it’s more fun and easy on the eyes!

extra notes: drumstick reference to hospital playlist episode 4! a little reference to @scripturiends twitter au “dynasty” at the end. have fun! as usual, grammar mistakes by me!

attorney sol and prosecutor joon hwi have been married for a couple years, now well into their early thirties.

sol and joon hwi always take walks in the parks and wondered what it would be like if they had their own.

sol was initially hesitant, with her experience of broken families and having no dad figure. what makes her think her child could grow up in a loving family, if she didn't have one she could be a role model or look up to?

but joon hwi had it worse, having been an orphan from young, and raised by his uncle, his cousins, aunts and relatives ostracising him. yet, he still believed in the happy family he always wanted with sol.

he dreamt of kissing his kids good morning, sending them to school before going to work and sending his wife to work. on nights, they would work on their kid's homework together in fun ways and tuck them in bed after bedtime stories. they would spend the weekends at parks, meeting with seungjae's kid, and the children of their friends.

sol came round eventually, seeing how joon hwi never stopped believing. this time, it was different. joon hwi is not her father, nor is he her step father. he is han joon hwi, the man that saved her lives multiple times. han joon hwi, the man that stood by her when lee man ho was her biggest threat to her family. han joon hwi, the man who loves her, despite being a klutz in school.

he is han joon hwi, the man that loves her for every imperfection and perfection she has.

sol and joon hwi start trying for a baby, which is especially timely when kang sol's mom asks when is she gonna have a grandchild to hold and byeol pipes up saying she would love to have a brother as opposed to sister. (15 years with sisters have made her wonder what it would be to have a little baby boy in the house instead.)

a few weeks after their first time trying passes and sol has been feeling more tired. she's been busy with case after case at kang and park, so she doesn't think much.

only when she misses her period, she freezes. as stressed as she was, even in law school, she has never missed her period or was late. with shaky breaths, she wonders at the slightest chance of having a little life grow in her, as her hand unconsciously travels to her stomach.

sol is excited, but nervous at the thought that maybe nine to ten months later, she would have a child she can call her own in her arms.

over the weekend, sol raised this to joon hwi. joon hwi stops everything and even though he is beyond excited, he stays calm looking at how nervous sol is. together, they go out to get two pregnancy tests, where sol takes it.

the ten minutes of waiting were a complete torture for sol, as she paces back and forth.

"sol, stop pacing. you're going to burn a hole in our floor."

"joon! what- what if it really happens? i'm not ready! how are we ready? you just started your career in the prosecutor office, and i'm buried under cases! i can barely take care of my mom and byeol and myself, what about the child? oh no, what if i'm a bad mom?"

"honey, sit down. look, we'll get through this together okay? no one is ever ready for their first kid. remember seungjae-hyung? he freaked out the day juyeon-noona went into labour and he's a doctor! it's okay, just calm down, alright? do you want warm water?"

when the timer rings, they look at both the tests, showing the double lines indicating a positive test.

sol was pregnant. sol was going to be a mother. joon hwi was going to be a father. their family was starting.

shaking, sol finally let her emotions hit as her tears fall. she was so caught up worrying about herself, life, her work, family; she hadn't had time to process her own feelings on her own. she wanted the feeling of joy of holding her child. she wanted to know what it was like to share a mother's bond with a child.

joon hwi, looking at his wife, only hugged her as she teared up in happiness. his dream of having a family is finally coming. even better, his best friend, his biggest cheerleader, was next to him.

"what are you crying about? you should be happy!"

"j-joon h-hwi ah... we're going to be parents.."

but their journey was far from over. they booked an appointment with juyeon and made juyeon stay quiet about this. seeing the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeats of their unborn child was enough to move sol to another round of sobs and joon hwi held his wife's hand while the tears ran down his face. together, they smiled, knowing that a life was born and growing.

all could have been hidden, but seungjae walked in that moment, asking if his wife wanted to join for lunch. sol and joon hwi were prepared to lie, but having a printed ultrasound scan in their hands, and the fact that they were in juyeon's clinic, a OB-GYN clinic, confirmed suspicions.

"juyeonnie, do you want to go for— joon...hwi?"

"oppa..."

"ah, congratulations sol. congratulations joon hwi." seungjae only smiled looking at the best people he knew become parents. he recognised the pride in joonhwi's eyes, the same eyes he had when juyeon told him they were expecting.

the new parents smiled at their brotherly figure as they wished them a good lunch.

but out from the corner, yeseul spotted joonhwi and sol as she walked into the clinic and she locked eyes with sol. sol slams the door shut and drags joon hwi back and groans, letting a defeated whine.

"sol-ah, what's wrong?"

"yeseul is here! she's probably here for a regular check up, the one she told me about last month!"

and with that, their phones started beeping with countless notifications.

yeseul could put two and two together, especially when it wasn't just sol, but joon hwi in the clinic as well. she texted her boyfriend, bokgi, who spat out his soup when he was eating with yebeom, who sent a string of messages to the group chat.

when sol opens the door again, yeseul only gives a sheepish smile.

"yeseul ah..." sol sighs and joon hwi only smiles, too happy to hide this secret.

"sorry unnie, i can't miss the moment. congrats unnie, oppa! hello, seungjae-oppa, juyeon-unnie!"

"thank you, yeseul. we'll see you next week, as usual?"

behind them, seungjae grumpily argues with his wife.

"why are my ex-classmates seeing you more than i do? i literally work, like, five blocks down at the police station! they live all over seoul!"

"honey, let me see yeseul first, okay? then let's go get lunch. i heard they are serving drumsticks in the canteen today.”

-----

pregnancy wasn't easy for sol. she insisted on working, despite attorney park's orders to take on lesser cases in court. sol couldn't find it in her heart to reject her clients.

yeseul, working closer to sol, would lunch with her to make sure she eats for the sake of her baby. joon hwi did his best to join, despite sol's arguments to not bother and that she can care for herself.

her morning sickness was bad, and she would wake up giddy and nauseous. many times, joon hwi wanted to call jiho to ask him to cover him, but sol would not let him do it. she'll pull herself together and go to work, and promise to take work lightly.

on days she couldn't get out of bed and she was too tired, her mother would come over and cook her nutritious soups, stock their fridge with vitamins and supplements and tonics for sol.

sol's cravings were also odd. she was never one to like sweets, but she found herself craving sugary cakes, cookies and pastries. joon hwi made it a point to stock their cabinets with cookies and buy a cake whenever he could for his wife.

joon hwi was honestly the best husband anyone could ask for. he helped to tidy the house, clean the house while sol was resting. he made soups and tucked sol in bed on her down days.

sol felt bad that she was being cared for and doing nothing in return, but joon hwi would always remind her that she was already doing the most important job, which is to literally grow their kid inside her.

many nights before bed, they would sit together and their hands would rest on her stomach, as they whisper sweet things to their to-be child.

when sol first felt the kick of her child with joon, they smiled so wide, all exhaustion from reports and arguments in their offices were gone. all that mattered was their child responding.

yeseul was beyond excited, as she helped sol with getting furniture and clothes. the study group came together to help them set up a new cot in their small apartment, as the ladies sat while looking at the men, fixing a cot with much difficulty.

aunty yeseul was the first to buy a stuffed bunny for her unborn child, and sol b, even though she was usually cold, offered to babysit in the future.

eventually, attorney park made sol work at home instead of going to the office. she argued that professor kim eunsook was able to teach while pregnant, but attorney park only said "yang jonghoon's orders" and it was enough to shut her up from any complaints.

of course, professor yang. the only person attorney park really is afraid of and listens to.

when they found out that sol was having a boy, joon hwi was lost in thoughts, wondering if he will grow to be like himself. but sol only placed a hand over his and gave a comforting smile.

"remember what you said at the beginning? whatever it is, he will be of the next generation. from him, it will be different."

they then would discuss how they wanted joon hwi's dimples, sol's twinkling eyes and cheekbones and joon hwi's charming smile.

closer to the due date, jiho stepped in to cover for joon hwi as he started to work half days, afraid of leaving his wife at home. sol, now heavily pregnant, really only commuted to the bed from the bathroom and then to the table, where she would spend most of her time reading or doing something relaxing.

yeseul made sol put her on speed dial with sol b, just in case, and so they would be the first to know too.

the morning came when sol woke up to a wet bed and shook joon hwi awake when the contractions kicked in. joon hwi snapped out, grabbed their hospital bag and guided sol to the car where both of them spent the next day in the hospital as sol went through nine hours of labour pains, and another two hours pushing her baby boy.

joon hwi never left once, standing by her side and holding her hand as she pushed her baby out, wiping away the sweat from her face.

when the time came for him to be held in his mother's arms, sol only smiled, knowing that as tough as the past ten months of working, no caffeine and staying up late nights was, it was all worth it for the little life in her arms.

as his son's hand grabbed onto joon hwi's finger, joon hwi made a promise to love this child unconditionally, to guide him in the right direction and bring him up well. sol was right. from him onwards, it will be different.

welcome to the world, seungjun.

#solhwi #joonsolA #solhwi by akino #kang sol a #kang sol a x han joon hwi #han joon hwi #law school #jtbc law school #law school kdrama #kdrama #jtbc #jtbc drama #original by akinosakiya #pregnant sol a #husband han joon hwi #married solhwi #domestic solhwi #fluff

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mayans-sauce · 4 years ago

Text

Positively Happy

@pantherclawz

Pairing: Coco Cruz x Female Reader

Word Count: 1.6K

Warnings: cursing

Request from anon Hi, if requests are open, I was wondering if I could request a Coco imagine? Where him and the reader had been trying to get pregnant but the reader deals with PCOS, which can make it extremely hard, and the last test she took said negative but she's had symptoms and then gets another test and it says positive? And she surprises Coco and they go to her 1st appt. And they see their baby?

A/N: sorry this is so late! But I hope I did well for this request and that you enjoy it!

You can read about what PCOS is HERE and HERE

GROUP CHAT for updates!

•• Main Masterlist •• Coco Masterlist ••

Coco had explicitly said for years that he didn’t want another kid, not after fucking it up so much with his previous ones. He was glad that he had Letty in his life now and had started to form a relationship with her. A year or two after having Letty in his life, he got to know you, the love of his life, and he felt blessed and happy that he had his two favorite women with him. That was all he needed, and frankly, so did you.

You had both agreed that having your own kids wasn’t a priority in your life, at least not now, or maybe it never would be, but you still had it open for discussion in case something changed in the future.

And for Coco, it did change. It changed the day your sisters dropped off your niece at your house for a few days because she was going overseas for a week for her job. His eyes opened up for a new possibility for joy and laughter in his life watching you interact with the toddler.

Playing, taking care of her, loving her. He wanted that, he wanted that so bad, he loved your niece, and she loved to be with Coco as well, but he was scared to bring it up to you in case you had changed your mind completely, but eventually, he did, and you were more than happy that he wanted to have kids with you.

He told you he was scared. Scared that he would fuck it up as he did with his two others and Letty. He didn’t believe that he could be a good father, but you and Letty convinced him otherwise, especially Letty. She had told him, even though he hadn’t been by her side most of her life, that she loved him with all her heart and that he was the best dad ever to her.

He then knew that he could do it, be a good and caring father with you and Letty by his side.

The baby-making part wasn’t the hard part of getting pregnant because you and Coco were experts; it was the getting pregnant part that didn’t work. You tried for a long time before you went to a doctor. They diagnosed you with PCOS, which along with a few other problems, also makes it harder to get pregnant, but it was still possible. So the doctor suggested that you try more before you could look into other methods of getting pregnant.

Each test you took came out negative, again and again, and each time your hopelessness increased.

“What does it say?” Coco asked as you both waited in the bathroom for the pregnancy test to get ready. You picked it up and hoped that it would finally say positive. But your face dropped when you looked at the results, and Coco knew what that meant. “Nothin?” “Nothing.”

He let out a long sigh, his heart sinking in his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and yours around him, just holding onto one another and giving each other comfort. “We can try again.”

After a few weeks of trying some more, you and Coco had given up on trying the natural way, so you scheduled an appointment with the doctor to work out some other methods. The appointment was some time away, so the weeks leading up to it, you and Coco hadn’t in your thoughts to make a baby while having sex; you just focused much more on each other than you ever had.

A few days before the appointment, you started to feel a little different. Your period was late since it had always been so irregular, so you didn’t think much of it, but you also woke up feeling very ill. So later in the day, you went to buy a pregnancy test just in case. Coco wasn’t home, so you asked Letty if she could join.

Letty loved you like you were her mother. You were best friends and always was there for one another. “Do you think you're pregnant?” “I… don’t know. I don’t think so, but I just feel different than the other times, so I figured just checking wouldn’t hurt.”

When the timer on your phone went off, you lifted the stick straight to your face to look at it, not thinking so much of it because you were expecting it to be negative as always. To your surprise, it said positive, and your heart started racing. “What?” You said in the tiniest whisper, your eyes glossy with tears that began to form in them.

“Y/N, what is it?” Letty came to stand by your side. “It’s… it’s positive.” “Are you sure?” You gave her the pregnancy test so she could check for herself. “I don’t have an extra to check it, but… it’s never said positive before. This is the first time.” Now Letty was crying and overjoyed with excitement. She hugged you long and hard, and you did as well. Emotions were running all over. “I’m gonna be a big sister.” “You're gonna be a big sister Leticia.”

“I need to call him.” You couldn’t wait for him to come home; you needed him to know right away. His phone went to voicemail, which means he was in Templo because he always answered his phone no matter what except when he was in there. So you sent him a message and a picture.

📲To: My Coco❤️

Let’s hope this means that baby Coco is on the way❤️ I’m so happy❤️

Letty and you moved over to the living room to wait for Coco’s response. Even though it wasn’t 100% sure that you even were pregnant, you started talking and planning for the baby already. What gender you wanted it to be. Letty wanted it to be a girl while you wanted a little Coco running around, but regardless of what, you would all love the baby no matter what. The future for the baby and all the adventures you all would go on.

Fifteen minutes later, the phone rang with Coco’s face lighting up the screen, and you picked up in a second. “Is-is it real,” his voice was shaky as he spoke; you could hear that he was on the verge of tears. “Yes, Johnny, it's real… it’s so real.” He told you he was on his way home to you. He didn’t care about the club or anything other than you right now.

When he arrived, he wouldn’t let go of you, holding onto you as his life depended on it. Letty joined in the cuddling and love. After some time, he got down on his knees so that his head was at level with your belly. His hand softly caressed it as he talked in a gentle voice, “I hope you are in there, little one. I love you so fucking much.” Only the appointment in a few days could tell, so you didn’t entirely hold onto the hope that you were pregnant, but you all wanted it to be real, so you acted that it was.

A few days later, at the doctor's appointment, you, Letty, and Coco all held your breath as they searched for a glimpse that you were pregnant. Coco held your hand tightly as he watched the screen, his leg bouncing up and down in anticipation. Letty held tightly onto her father, just as nervous and anxious as him. To your luck, they found evidence that you were indeed pregnant, and all of you were overjoyed at the news.

Letty squealed in happiness as Coco started lightly crying at the discovery of his entire world changing for the better, but the doctor told you that it might be too soon to celebrate. Because of your PCOS, there was a bigger chance for you to have a miscarriage or other complications with the pregnancy. So you would need to be closely monitored and taken care of.

Coco vowed from that day that you wouldn’t do any hard work around the house or anywhere else. He, Letty, and the rest of the guys would do everything for you. All you needed to do was sit your pretty ass down and relax as they all treated you like a queen.

A few weeks had passed, you and Coco were on the way to the doctor again for another appointment. This time hoping to know the sex of the baby. Coco was driving with one hand on the steering wheel and his other hand playing with your fingers, which always calmed him down. The window was down as the warm wind of Santo Padre seeped into the car.

“I hope it’s a girl,” he admitted. He had told you since the pregnancy was confirmed that his dream was to have a baby girl. A sweet and beautiful little creature that looked exactly like you that he would protect with his whole heart and kill anyone that dared to harm her.

“I hope it’s a boy.” You could see in your dream a little miniature Coco. Him and his father running around in the yard playing together as they laughed in the grass like it was the funniest thing ever. The two being messy boys and getting into trouble all the time and hiding it from mommy.

But you knew no matter what you found out today at the doctors that the little miracle in your belly would be loved unconditionally by everyone in your lives no matter what.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Let me know what you think❤️

GENERAL TAGLIST: @everyhowlmarksthedead @-im-fantastic- @idorkish @bishopslosawife @witching-hour @rosieposie0624 @jessprins13 @skyofficialxx @glamourglambert @jasminee97 @starrynite7114 @gemini0410 @rocketqueen @mack-jay @megapeacelovemusic-blog @weasleytwins-41 @achievement-hunters-blog54 @taurean-brat @multifandom.girlie

MAYANS MC TAGLIST: @blessedboo @60shannon @bellisperennis0 @capnsaveahoe @diaryofkali @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @xvvalx @missswritings @theocatkov @pinguinstudiert @chibsytelford @encounterthepast @rawrlittlepanda-95 @beeroses

#mayans mc #mayans mc x reader #mayans mc fluff #mayans mc fandom #mayans mc fanfic #mayans mc fx #mayans x reader #mayans fluff #mayans fandom #mayans fanfic #mayans fx #coco cruz #coco cruz x reader #coco cruz fluff #coco cruz fanfiction #richard cabral #mayanssauce writes

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ak47stylegirl · 3 years ago

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Doctors Appointment: Chapter 3

Okay guys, here’s the third chapter! I hope you guys enjoy this!!! 😁💙

First two chapters.

@janetm74 @dragonoffantasyandreality @katblu42 @cg29 @alexthefly @inertplanetary ----

Scott stood with his arms crossed, watching with a worried frown as Alan’s doctor, Dr David, examined his baby brother. At this moment, Dr David was examining Alan’s joints, mainly his arms and legs.

Alan’s eyes glanced over at Scott.

“Okay, tell me if any of this hurts, okay?” Dr David began to put pressure on Alan’s unbraced leg joints, feeling around with his fingers.

Alan’s face was scrunched up in discomfort, slightly flinching each time pressure was applied to his limbs.

But then Dr David put pressure on Alan’s ankle joint-

“Ow! Ow!” Alan wailed from where he laid on the bed, tears gathering in his eyes. “Ow! That hurts! Stop!”

Dr David instantly took the pressure off, frowning as he gently examined them further. At the same time, Scott had rushed over to Alan’s side.

“Shhh, it’s alright….” Scott whispered, brushing his fingers through Alan’s soft blond hair. “It’s alright….”

Alan whimpered, pouting up at Scott in disagreement.

Scott’s eyes saddened immensely at the sight, tilting his head slightly in sympathy. Oh, my poor little one…

You never should’ve had to deal with this...

Dr David sighed heavily, catching Scott’s attention in a snap. Scott’s stomach flipped at the deep frown on the doctor’s face as he typed his notes into his tablet.

Alan’s joints have gotten worse, haven’t they?!

Oh no, please no!

Alan struggled enough.

Please...no...

“Well, unfortunately, I can’t see much improvement from last time…” Dr David explained sadly, placing his tablet back down, “There is some stiffness in Alan’s left knee, but overall not much has changed….”

Scott let loose a sigh of relief, his shoulders dropping. While no improvement wasn’t good, it was better than the other option.

Oh, so, so much better...

Alan blew out a frustrated breath, “Can...Can I sit up now?” Alan mumbled, looking up at the two adults.

“Yes, of course….” Dr David nodded.

Alan slowly sat up with Scott’s help, leaning his head heavily against Scott’s side with a weak groan.

Scott’s eyes creased in sorrow, lips pressed tightly together as he stroked the back of Alan’s head.

This was only the first part of the appointment, and Alan’s tolerance was already getting paper-thin.

It didn't bode well…

Especially seeing as Alan’s appointment was actually multiple appointments.

First, there was the appointment with Dr David, Alan’s main specialist. The team leader of Alan’s health professionals. They had the main ‘check-up’ with Dr David, who checked all the basic things they needed to watch.

After that, Alan was handed over to the pathology lab for tests and scans. That usually took quite a while.

Alan wasn’t overly fond of some of the tests, to say the least…

But once that was done, Scott and Alan would retire to a private hospital suite for a little break as Alan needed to rest.

Because if Alan didn’t get said nap, there would 100% be a massive meltdown. Like laying on the floor crying his eyes out, refusing to cooperate…

Lots and lots of screaming…

So yes, Scott very much insisted on that break.

(Though sometimes, even that didn’t stop the meltdowns from happening…)

The second main appointment of the day was with Dr Suzzy, Alan’s fitness/rehabilitation specialist.

It took place down in the hospital’s rehab gym, where Dr Suzzy would walk through a couple of simple exercises with Alan. Alan actually had a training schedule for home as well, created by both Virgil and Dr Suzzy.

As their medic, Virgil pulled rank to be the one to help Alan with those exercises.

Scott tried to help sometimes, but unfortunately, running a business and rescue organisation kept him tied down most of the time...

The guilt plagued him…

Gordon also helped out with those exercises at times, especially if the pool was involved.

If there were two things that Gordon took deadly seriously, it was pool safety and looking after his only little brother. So you could be damn sure Gordon was going to be there.

Don’t think you can stop him. He’s a sneaky one, and he bites.

Scott had a faint scar on his arm from a four-year-old Gordon to prove it. (It had happened shortly after mum died, Gordon had been having a bad day… he hadn’t meant it...)

Don’t mess with the Gordo; at times, he’s a cuddly squid and others…

Shark.

Pure shark.

Anyway, after that appointment, it was onto the final and honestly worst part of the day.

Alan’s treatment.

It would occur in the same hospital suite as before, with Alan hooked up to an IV containing his medication. It was a slow process, taking an hour or two. Alan typically spent that time cradled up in Scott’s lap, hugging his Thunderbird Three plushie.

Virgil had gotten it for Alan when he was first diagnosed.

Scott knew Virgil was tempted to get Alan the Thunderbird Two plushie instead but went with Three as that was Alan’s favourite ship.

Also, that before mentioned Thunderbird Two plushie?

It was sitting pride of place on Virgil’s bed.

Because-

‘I couldn’t just leave it?! She was looking so sad sitting there!’

While Virgil needing to have the plush version of his bird was understandable, buying the whole store’s supply of plushies was a bit much.

Like seriously, Virg…

Most of those toys got donated to families that couldn’t afford toys or sick children in hospital.

It ended up being a very good experience for everyone involved…

Virgil had personally gone to the hospitals himself, handing said plushies to the unwell kids himself.

There were tears…

And the lucky survivors that remained either got a job as an International Rescue’s cuddle operative; tasked with comforting young rescuees.

Or adults, it has definitely happened before...

And the last few were adopted by Gordon, whose bed was a sea of plushies.

Scott would never know how Gordon could sleep in that bed…

But it was a pretty adorable sight, he will admit.

Dr David put his stethoscope in his ears, “Okay, let’s have a little listen to that chest of yours, shall we?”

The stethoscope was slipped up the back of Alan’s shirt-

“Cold!” Alan squealed, flinching away as the cold metal of the stethoscope touched his skin. “That’s freezing!”

“Sorry, Alan…” Dr David smiled apologetically. “I’ll warm it up a bit next time, okay?” The stethoscope was placed against Alan’s skin once again.

“Now, deep breath in for me..”

Alan’s eyes narrowed, a grumpy pout on his face as he took a deep breath.

Scott sighed wearily, spotting a possible meltdown brewing on the horizon. He didn’t know when it would hit, but Scott knew that it would happen some way or another.

Alan was displaying all the signs…

Dr David moved the stethoscope around a couple of times, each time asking Alan to take a deep breath. By the time the doctor was finished, Alan was slightly out of breath.

“Well, his heart sounds good, which is always a good thing….” Dr David slipped his stethoscope back around his neck. “But his lungs sound a little wheezy….”

Scott frowned in concern.

“Has he been sick in the last week or so?” Dr David asked Scott, once again typing down notes on his tablet. “Cold? Flu?”

Alan shuttered with a grimace.

Being completely knocked down with the flu or cold was horrible for anyone. Let alone for someone like Alan, who had a weak immune system…

Scott’s eyes slipped close briefly as he nodded,

“Yeah…” Scott replied, remembering that week well. “He was unwell with a bad cold about a week and a half ago….”

It hasn’t been fun...

“I figured as much,” Dr David remarked, putting his tablet down, “Nothing to be concerned about, as I’m sure Dr Tracy wouldn’t let her grandson out of her care otherwise….”

Scott chuckled in agreement. Grandma was a force to be reckoned with when it came to matters of health.

And she had a pupil called Virgil.

“But if it’s not gone by this time next week, I would advise getting it checked….” Dr David suggested as he set up the blood pressure monitor.

Scott nodded thoughtfully, “Will do….”

And seeing as they had a doctor in the house, and most of them were trained medics or EMTs, Scott had no doubt that Alan would get the best care possible.

He would personally make sure of that…

TBC..

#alan tracy #Scott Tracy #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Virgil Tracy #Gordon Tracy #John Tracy #sicktember2021 #sick character #sick alan #AU #tw chronic illness

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years ago

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Title: Crown For Two {3}

Henry Cavill AU x OFC Xari Thornton AU

Warning: Plot, Mild Cursing, Cheesy Christmas Themes, Slow Burn, Tease, PLENTY OF WORDS

Words: 7.2k

Summary: Xari Thornton is a travel photographer with a blog and social media that garners some heavy-duty traffic. People tune in to see where she is and what she’s doing there, all in hopes of either living vicariously through her or to plan their next vacation.

Her slogan; “Traveling the path to the most off-beaten places, so you don’t have to.”

Her next stop on her four destination travel itinerary of “Places You May Never Have Heard Of” is Sandvell, a small European country. When her plane makes an impromptu stop due to bad weather, she has no idea where she is. It feels like she’s stepped inside of a snow globe and back in time in a modern way. It leaves her fascinated.

This bad weather forces her to stay at an Inn, The Beaux, for the night. Rather than letting the hours tick by in her room, she explores and meets the friendly locals. While taking photographs, one local in particular captures her lens with eyes as blue as the ocean and a jaw that was chiseled from stone. They strike up conversation during their time drinking at one of the local bars, Ickles. Once they separate, she gets herself into a harrowing situation.

As soon as she awakens, she realizes she’s not in some fever dream, but a palace and the owner of the palace is none other than the local she met before with the piercing blue eyes, His Royal Highness Henry Wellington Leopold Danglishton, First of his name, Crown Prince of Brexendor.

Note: All right, all right people, the ride continues. I really, really hope you enjoy this. As a reminder, it’s going to be fast-paced a bit, and I am gonna overload you with pictures because why the hell not, it’s a Christmas Fic. 😁 Feel free to come by and tell me what you guys think.

As always, thank you all for reading, I appreciate each and every one of you.

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Slightly Interactive***

Previous Chapters: {1} | {2} |

Chapter Three

-Y/N-

When you opened your eyes again, your head felt a lot different. It wasn’t spinning. It didn’t feel congested, heavy, or muddled. You saw everything with clear eyes, alert eyes. Glancing around the room, you took in your surroundings like it was your first time, though you were sure it wasn’t. Closing your eyes, you tried to remember everything that had happened. You remembered walking through the streets, taking pictures, and even watching the locals go about their business. You also remembered going into a bar and drinking that god awful drink.

When you remembered seeing Henry’s face, you couldn’t help but smile. Your conversation played over and over in your head and how easy it was to talk to one another. Even his smile and goofy laugh had you snuggling deeper into the plush bedding. He was definitely attractive. All of a sudden, the accident flashed into mind. You’d been struggling with the wind and the snow and couldn’t see not even two inches in front of you. The pain of being hit was absent. It was like it happened so fast that you were out cold before your pain receptors could adequately translate it.

You bolted up as the words “prince” and “your highness” echoed in your head.

“Shit, he’s a prince.”

You rubbed your forehead, then pinched the bridge of your nose. Of course he is, you thought. Why would you meet some normal person in this clear fairytale country? Leaning against the headboard, you chewed your bottom lip, beginning to wonder about several other things. One of them was your exchange in the bar. He clearly knew who he was. You were not naïve when it came to the attention of men. There was evident flirting going on.

“Was he trying to charm me into being some royal conquest?”

Before you could think on the topic any further, there was a knock at the door. You sat up straighter while trying to figure out the right way to sit. You lied back casually but decided that was too casual. You then straightened your back and took note of how your breasts were accentuated thanks to the proper posture.

“Too much,” you whispered, slouching again.

The knock came again.

“Ma’am?”

Shaking your head, you sighed and said, forget it. You had no idea how to answer, so you said the first thing to come to mind.

“You may enter.” You didn’t know why you decided to add an uppity British accent. Slapping your hand to your head, you shook it, already tired of your own shenanigans.

When you looked, it was the doctor you’d seen the night before.

“Good morning, ma’am.”

You gave him a polite smile as he approached with his black doctor’s bag.

“How are you feeling today. Better, I hope.”

“Much, thank you.”

He nodded, then placed his bag on the bedside table.

“How did you sleep? Any pain?”

“No—well, not severe pain. I’m just mainly sore.”

Dr. Alfonsi. nodded. “You can take aspirin for those aches. They should subside in another few days, as will the bruises.”

You nodded again.

“May I begin my examination?”

Giving him a demure smile as permission, he approached and began doing all the things a doctor would at the beginning of any appointment. He took your blood pressure, checked your reflexes and your temperature. He examined your eyes, listened to your heart, followed along with your pulse and respiration, all the while taking diligent notes on his phone that he held in the breast pocket of his white coat.

Ten or so minutes later, he closed his bag and then brought over one of the chairs in the room. Once he sat, he softly clapped his hands together.

“And that is that. I am pleased your vitals are appearing better and better. Are you feeling the return of your strength?”

“Not really,” you confessed.

“As I explained yesterday, I had concerns from the results of a few blood tests I did. Did you know that you have several vitamin deficiencies?”

Your eyebrows quirked. “Uh—n—no. I didn’t. What do you mean?”

“Well, in an effort to provide a most comprehensive recovery plan for you, as I do with every patient I see in the royal family and elsewhere. I ran a full panel of tests and came back with several alarming finds. You have a deficiency of vitamin B12, Vitamins D, and E, you’re severely low in Iron and Folate. Have you ever been diagnosed with Anemia?”

Your head swarmed with all the words and letters he’d just flung at you.

“Uh—no. I don’t think so.”

“I am diagnosing it now.”

You watched his mouth move as he explained the dangers of the deficiencies and listed the symptoms one would expect, which all coincided with what you’d felt on and off for some time. The explanation seemed to go on and on. With every word Dr. Alfonsi. spoke, your breathing sped more and more. He must have seen the terror on your face because he reached out and took your hand.

“It’s all right, dear. Though it is not as soon as I would have liked, we caught it. we now know that there is a serious problem.”

“I—I didn’t know. I mean, I guess I’ve been busy these last few months and on the go, but—I never--,” you trailed off.

“Calm down. It’s easy to fall behind on our health, but it is important we catch up. In order to do that, you’re going to have to make some changes.”

“What kind of changes?”

“Lifestyle and occupational. You’re going to need to change your diet, incorporate the therapies and medicines I will be prescribing, as well as taking it significantly easier than I suspect you have in the past,” Dr. Alfonsi explained.

“Taking it easy? What exactly does that mean?”

“Well, I mild cases I’ve seen in my years, I’ve recommended a month of strict relaxation along with what I’ve said before. That meant decreased hours at work, perhaps a sabbatical, bed rest until the patient begins to regain strength to prevent chances of falling and bone breakage.”

“Bed rest?”

“Yes, and that’s just for mild cases. Your case, I’m afraid, is a lot more serious. While I recommended it for others, for you, I would have to insist.”

You sat up, giving him a look that said he was crazy.

“I can’t go on bed rest. That’s not just decreased hours; that is complete incapacitation,” you protested.

“I can understand your alarm, but that is how serious your situation is, ma’am.”

“God, please stop calling me ma’am. My name is Xari.”

“Ms. Xari,” he corrected.

Several moments passed in silence. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Yeah, you hadn’t gone to the doctor in almost two years and didn’t take multivitamins and oftentimes forgot to eat, but you worked out, ate your greens—sometimes, and experienced plenty of holistic activities throughout the world. You had no idea you were in this bad shape.

“Do you understand what I am saying, Ms. Xari? If you do not make drastic changes for the foreseeable future, you may not see the blooming of spring flowers.”

Your jaw dropped. He was laying on pretty thick, but it was working. You were alarmed. Sighing, you rubbed your forehead.

“What exactly do you suggest then?”

“What you’re doing now, bed rest. I will communicate with the staff your dietary needs for the coming weeks as well as instructions for your medication--.”

“Wait, hold up. What? You don’t mean for me to stay here, do you?”

Dr. Alfonsi looked at you as if you were missing a few screws.

“Yes.”

You flung your hands out. “Nope. Absolutely not. I can’t stay here.”

“Why not? I am more than sure the prince would allow you to remain here until you are fully recovered, especially seeing it was his highness’ royal car that hit you for us to discover your ailments.”

“No. I can’t stay here. I don’t—I’m a stranger to these people. I am—there’s no way. I can’t ask him or anyone here to wait on me.”

Dr. Alfonsi smiled. “I understand your apprehension, believe me, I do, but it is unnecessary. I have known the prince since he was a child. He is a kind man and would never dare turn someone who is in need and sick away. You will be safe here.”

Hearing how highly he spoke of his prince piqued your curiosity. It could have been one of those things where one’s subjects loved them so dearly they had not one bad word to say about them, or one’s subjects fears them so much that they didn’t dare utter one negative thing about them. You wondered which was the real story. Perhaps a little in the middle, you thought.

Sighing, you leaned your head on the headboard, still adamant you didn’t want to stay here.

“I have a life to get back to. I’ve already been here for two days too long.”

“Two days?”

The question in his voice had your head snapping to him. You cautiously opened your mouth to speak. “Yes,” you squeaked.

“No. I’m afraid it’s been more than two days. It’s been a week since you’ve been here, Ms. Xari.”

Your eyes bugged, and you instantly began searching for your phone.

“What are you looking for?”

“My things. Where are my things? My phone?”

Dr. Alfonsi looked around the room then walked to a large wardrobe before he came back with your purse. You unintentionally snatched it from him, digging through it for the desired object. Once you had it, you discovered it was dead.

“Fuck.”

You began trying to get off the bed, but as soon as you stood, you dropped back to the bed, your legs unable to hold you.

“I would caution against doing too much too soon. I’m impressed you were able to attempt an escape once. I doubt you’d be successful a second time.”

“I need my charger. Where are my things? I’ve been off the grid for a week. I have family, people who will worry. I need—need--.”

Your chest pounded so fast you could barely catch your breath. As you struggled to get a full breath, you began to panic. Dr. Alfonsi was to you on the other side of the bed in seconds, checking your pulse and instructing you to breathe slowly and deeply. You would if you could and wished you could shout that to him. Before you knew it, darkness was all you saw.

~~~~~~~~

When you opened your eyes, you were again tucked in the bed, but you were now hooked up to an IV. You took a deep breath and noted the heaviness that resided in your chest. Groaning, you slowly sat up. Once rested against the headboard, you remembered your mission. Your phone. Kicking off the covers, you used the rolling IV rod as if it were a cane and stood on wobbly legs. After a full minute, you began moving though every step you took felt like you’d fall to the floor.

What should have taken you seconds took minutes. The steps proved to be more challenging to maneuver with the IV stand. You searched the room, but you didn’t see your luggage. That was when you saw your phone plugged into a charger on the nightstand to the left of the bed. You wobbled toward it then quickly unlocked it. Feeling yourself shake even more, you used the wall as your brace as you scrolled through. You saw the bounty of missed calls, unanswered messages, and emails of alarm. As expected, everyone was worried to death about you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

You found your sister’s number and dialed it. It didn’t ring; instead, it went to voicemail. Your frustration was evident as you knocked over the small glass figurine on the bedside table. You ignored the shattered pieces and grabbed the IV pole, ready to walk out of the room in search of your things. Once you opened the door, your jaw dropped, seeing another luxurious room similar to the bedroom but decked in different colors.

You took one then two steps, and your knees gave out. Before you tumbled to the floor, you heard a shriek and your name being shouted; then you were in someone’s arms. You looked up into blue eyes that were framed by long lashes and thick eyebrows.

“Are you all right?”

You snorted. “We have got to stop meeting like this,” you teased with a soft smile. It was a smile Henry returned.

“I cannot make any promises.”

Henry then lifted you into his strong arms and carried you where you’d just come from. As he held you, you couldn’t help but glance over the side of his face that was perfectly in view. If you thought his jaw was chiseled to perfection before, now—you were certain there was not even one flaw about it. When he placed you back in the bed, he hovered over you for a few seconds. They were seconds that felt like minutes, especially with the intensity you saw in his eyes.

“Xari.”

Tearing your eyes from his, you glanced to your left to see Anika, your sister.

“Nika!”

She leaped onto the bed and scurried across to you, then threw her arms around you.

“Oh my god. What’re you doing here!? How’d you get here?”

“I’ve been so worried! I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Relief filled you, and you found yourself relaxing a little more.

“I don’t get it. How are you?”

Anika pulled back with a wide smile on her face. She looked up, bringing your eyes to the man who still stood beside the bed. His arms were crossed across his chest, and a soft smile decorated his lips.

“Him. He’s how I’m here.”

You were still confused, and you knew your expression showed it.

“I couldn’t reach you. I called and called and no answer. A few days ago, I got a call back, and it was the prince,” Anika began giving you a wide-eyed look when she said, “prince.”

“Henry, please, I insist.”

Anika smiled and actually giggled before she continued. “Henry. He explained everything and kept me in the loop with your condition. Because of that damn storm, I couldn’t get here. He ended up sending the royal jet for me once the storm passed enough to bring me here, so you’d have someone with you.”

Wow, you thought, letting all she’d said register. He’d done a lot. You slipped your eyes to him and found them on you.

“He’s been very kind, Ri,” Anika added.

You were speechless. What were you supposed to say? Clearing your throat, you said the first thing you thought of.

“Thank you.”

Henry nodded and held your gaze. “It was done for you alone and with you in mind.”

Well, shit, you thought, unable to take your eyes off of his. After a few moments, you heard Anika clear her throat, and it was Henry who looked away first.

“Right. I was bringing your sister here for you to see. Now that you have her, I will give the staff instructions to see whatever the two of you will need for your stay.”

“Uh—about that. It won’t be necessary,” you piped up.

“Excuse me?”

His intimidating aura increased, making you feel like a disobedient little whose daddy was about to punish her. At that comparison, you had a quick thought about whether or not he was a vanilla prince or one with plenty of shades of grey. Straightening your back, you held your head higher.

“While I appreciate all you’ve done for me thus far, it won’t be necessary for you or your staff to fuss over my sister or me any longer. We’ll be leaving.”

Henry cocked his head to the right, then tightly clenched his jaw.

“Is that right?”

“Why are we leaving?”

Ignoring Anika’s question, you decided not to look away from Henry feeling a challenge in how he looked at you.

“According to Dr. Alfonsi, you’re in no shape to be going anywhere.” He nodded to your IV pole for emphasis.

“I will stay at the inn that is in town or a hotel.”

“Nonsense. It was my fault you were hurt, and my responsibility to rectify the damage and harm I have caused.”

“He’s right, Xari. It’s his fault, and you should let him accrue the expenses,” Anika voiced.

“Nika!”

“What! He’s a prince, Ri. He got it,” she replied a little under her breath but still loud enough for him to hear.

“I must agree with Lady Anika.”

Anika snorted and laughed. “I’m definitely not a lady.”

Henry smirked at her then quickly looked back to you. “I must insist you remain here. At least until Dr. Alfonsi has given you the seal of good health. I am afraid if you were to go anywhere, something would happen to you, and I would not be able to forgive myself.”

You studied him for a few moments, taking in the expression on his face as well as the tight clench of his jaws. Your eyes moved down to his still folded arms and the muscles that bulged because of his stance. He was definitely overwhelming like this, and though you hated to feel like a bother, you suspected that here was the best place for now. Glancing to Anika, she gave you a stern eye that said, “just give in already.”

Rolling your eyes, you nodded. “Fine, but only until I’m well enough.”

“If that is your wish, just know you are welcomed here for however long you wish.”

“My goodness, such a gentleman. They sure breed them differently here, huh sis.”

Henry smiled, then glanced at Anika. “Everything is different here in Brexendor.”

“I bet,” Anika finished.

“Since it is settled, I will proceed to advise the staff. Dr. Alfonsi has already given several strict dietary orders as well as health orders. If there is anything you require do not hesitate to speak it. Lady Anika, I have already instructed a bedroom be prepared for you, but I will instruct it be as close to your sister as possible.”

“Thank you.”

He nodded, then looked back at you. “I sincerely hope you feel better soon.”

“Are you leaving?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I am afraid I have quite a lot to do today. By all means, though, feel free to go where you please. My home is yours, ladies.”

With that, he curtly bowed his head then walked toward the door. Before he walked out, he stopped.

“Oh, Xari, try not to escape again. I cannot guarantee I will always be there to catch you.”

You saw the hint of a smile on his lips and instantly knew he was teasing you.

“Somehow, your highness, I suspect you will magically appear at the mere hint of a faint.”

He chuckled to himself then walked out, closing the doors behind him. Once alone, Anika wasted no time.

“Holy fucking shit, he is hot as fuck!”

You snorted and laughed as you relaxed into the bed.

“Wonderful censor you have there, Nika.”

“Fuck censor.”

“Well, that last time I said fuck here, I was looked at like I was the most uncouth Neanderthal. I suggest you keep your fucks to a minimum.”

Anika bounced you. “Will you be able to keep your fucks to a minimum?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Anika rolled her eyes. “Whatever! The air hasn’t even gotten a chance to come back down from the sweltering levels your guys’ flirting raised it to.”

Your jaw dropped. “Excuse me! There was no flirting.”

“Yes, there was, and it was not on your side alone. He was flirting with you too. What in the world is going on? I need the whole story without even the smallest detail left out.”

You sighed then proceeded to tell her the whole sordid tale. As instructed, you didn’t leave anything out. You even told her about that exchange between you and Henry before you walked out of the bar. At the end of story time, Anika had a huge grin on her face.

“What are you grinning at?”

“You. Leave it to you to get whisked away by a prince and have him fall; for you in record time.”

“No, no, no. Falling? Nika, you’re imagining things. He hasn’t fallen for anyone. He’s a prince, for crying out loud. They don’t fall for anyone, let alone some commoner. Have you never watched The Crown?”

Anika snorted and dropped to the bed at your feet.

“First of all, The Crown is whack. Second of all, this is not England. This place is fantastic. It’s like some Hallmark country where everything is beautiful, quaint, and perfect. You smiled and bit your bottom lip, agreeing fully.

“Third, I was sitting right here, listening to your banter. I think he could totally fall for you if he hasn’t already.”

You rolled your eyes, ignoring everything she was saying. Anika loved to play matchmaker, though you hated every time she did it.

“You’re practically in his bed. We just have to get you there.”

You rolled your eyes again, shocked at how quickly she’d gotten there. “Okay, down, girl. According to this doctor, I’m falling apart, Nika. Any bed I’ll be in for a while is this one.”

“Well, now you have me here to encourage you to lap up the luxury and hospitality of his highness the prince of Brexendor. Get the fuck outta here!”

The two of you laughed loudly. This situation you’d found yourself into was the most ridiculous one either of you could have ever begun to imagine.

A few hours later, you found yourself alone while Anika settled in her room. Another knock sounded at your door. Being unable to open it yourself, you instructed them to come in. Once the doors opened in walked a beautiful girl about your age with long black hair and features similar to Henry’s. In your head, you suspected she was a family member. She smiled sweetly as she approached you. When she was by your bedside, she dropped onto the mattress.

“Hi.”

You returned her warm smile. “Hi.”

“My god, you are beautiful.”

You snorted, then pinched your lips together, trying to suppress your laugh. She was insane. You looked the worst you’d ever looked.

“You’re being kind. I haven’t showered in a week and only today got to comb my hair. You’re being very, very kind.”

She giggled but still looked genuine.

“I’m Jemma,” she said, holding her hand out to you. Once you took it, and instantly noted how soft they were.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“I have been trying to get here to introduce myself, but Henry told me to stay away so you could acclimate. Otherwise, I would have been here much sooner.”

You smiled and assured her it was fine.

“How are you doing?”

You shrugged. “I guess I’m okay.”

She didn’t look convinced and took you in for a few moments. “I’m sure my brother has brought all the best doctors for your care and has thought of everything that would ensure your comfort. With that treatment, I expect you to make a full recovery in no time.”

“Brother.”

“Yes. Please tell me you did not think I was his girlfriend or something of the sort.”

She looked disgusted, which made you laugh.

“No. I suspected a family member. So you’re a princess.”

Jemma rolled her eyes as she sighed out as if she was already tired of the conversation.

“Yes, but I promise it is not nearly as glamourous as you’re thinking. The only nice thing about it is the diamonds, everything else, eh.”

You smiled, already liking her. she gave off an air that said she didn’t take herself seriously and even liked to have a bit of fun more times than not.

“The staff is all abuzz with news that you will be residing with us for the next few weeks. Henry has told them to cater to your every whim, and because it came from him, everyone is in a tizzy over it, prepping to ensure you are at your most comfortable,” Jemma explained.

“What. No, that’s not what I want at all. They don’t have to go all out.”

“It’s okay.”

“No. then everyone will think I’m some prissy thing who likes to be waited on when that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Jemma took you for a little while, then took your hand and squeezed it gently.

“Not to worry, Xari. I assure you no one will think that.”

You sighed then tried to forget it because it was too late to change whether or not they thought it. You were sure everyone was already whispering about you and Anika, the two Americans who’d somehow found their way into the palace.

“Also, we are not as gossip centered as other monarchies. I promise,” Jemma added, raising her hand as if to swear it.

When she sensed you relaxed, she proceeded to ask a plethora of questions about you, ranging from where you were from to what you did and the all-important if you were single. You felt like you were on a modern-day “Who Wants to be Friends With a Princess” tv show. With every fact, you revealed she revealed a similar one and so on. After an hour, you found that you had plenty in common, something that was shocking for you.

When Anika came back, the party really stated. Your laughter picked up, as did the stories that Jemma revealed about royal life. Those stories prompted Anika to tell stories of life as a commoner in America as she called it. The only thing was her stories we mainly all about partying, dating, and men. With each story, Jemma’s eyes widened, and you felt like slowly Anika would end up corrupting her.

“Nika, stop. You’re going to have her on an episode of Princesses Gone Wild,” you joked, which had both of them in stitches on your bed.

“I will have you know that I am not some innocent wallflower. I know things,” Jemma countered.

You couldn’t help but laugh loudly. Just the way she said that told you she didn’t know very many things. That was when Jemma proceeded to list the names of the men she’d dated, a list of three men. Anika was the one to ask the nature of these relationships, to which Jemma said she knew in great detail the kind of underwear each man wore. You lost it right then and there, dropping onto the bed in a fit of laughter.

Exhaustion caught you off guard, dampening the mood of the night. Jemma assured you that she’d keep Anika company and show her around to give you time to take a nap. After thanking her, the two women walked out of your room, leaving you to silence. Once the door closed, it opened again. this time it was the woman named Audrina.

“Good evening, ma’am. Is there anything I can bring you?”

“No. I’m all right.”

She nodded, then closed the door leaving you again. You quickly drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~

-Henry-

He’d never met anyone quite as beautiful as you. he remembered when you’d walked into the bar and sat down beside him like you were right where you were supposed to be. You had no idea that the bar was empty because it was closed for him to be there, had no idea that he was not some ordinary citizen. He liked being a no one, especially if it meant he could sit there with you all night. He remembered wanting just that. If his phone hadn’t run, if he’d had more time, he probably would have tried to hold your hand. If he’d had more time, he would have gotten himself into an even bigger predicament than he was now—attracted to a woman he knew better than to touch.

Slowly he looked over the features of your face and took in each detail. He pressed the elements of your face to his memory so he could call on them when he was alone, buried in work. A sigh escaped him as a lite feeling filled him. It was an unfamiliar one. He wanted to touch you. It was an urge that was so strong he almost couldn’t overpower it—almost. He balled his fist and sat back in the settee beside your bed, trying to ignore the feelings that washed over him.

“Remember yourself,” he whispered before he looked back to the work he’d brought with him when he’d decided to pay you a quick visit.

This quick visit was an hour ago. When he found you asleep, he should have turned around and left, but he couldn’t. He intended to sit here for a few minutes, ten tops, but he still had yet to tear himself away. He mustered what was left of his control and focused on the screen before him and tried to write his speech for the new world bank’s upcoming opening.

This was one of his father’s pet projects, and he was filled with pride to see it to fruition, but also it made him miss the man more. Sighing, he closed his eyes and began rubbing his temples. Every time he thought of his father in the last few months, it brought him added stress. It was this stress that prevented him from sleeping longer than four hours a night.

“Christ,” he whispered.

“Are you all right?”

Jerking his head up, he saw you awake with your head still atop the pillow. You looked like a dream, or perhaps his best nightmare.

“I am sorry. Was I too loud?”

“No. I um—just happened to open my eyes.”

You slowly sat up, allowing the blanket to fall from your chest to your lap. As you adjusted yourself, he moved his laptop to the other side of the settee.

“You didn’t answer me, though. Are you all right?”

A smile tugged at his lips, but he fought it. “Me? Should it not be me be asking you that?”

“Can’t we ask each other?”

He studied you for a few moments, then nodded. “I am fine.”

“Liar.”

His jaw dropped, half shocked you would go there. There weren’t many people in his life that would dare.

“I take it no one calls his highness a liar,” you teased.

“You take it right. Maybe Jemma or my mother on occasion and a few of my friends but not many.”

You smiled, then shrugged. “I call em’ like I see em.’”

He crossed his arms and leaned back. “Pray tell, what gave me away to make you insult me so?”

Your smile widened before you sucked your bottom lip into your mouth, bringing his eyes right there. He adjusted in the seat he sat and waited for you to continue.

“Your eyes are red, under your eyes puffy, and one doesn’t just say Christ to say Christ.”

You had him there. He pushed his fist under his chin and continued to watch you.

“So you are implying I look bad.”

You smirked then, and he picked up the change in the air.

“I mean, I’m sure I look the same as you. So take comfort in that.”

A chuckle escaped him. “So that is a yes; I do look bad.”

You looked at him but didn’t answer.

“I will take that as a yes on my part. however, regarding you, you look far from bad.”

You snorted then laughed, and it was the most shockingly endearing sound. It wasn’t a laugh he would hear from others in his company. Their laughs would be all dignified, but yours was genuine. It was also downright terrifying, but he preferred it.

“Now I know you’re a liar. I look absolutely disgusting. I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this, but I haven't showered in a week.”

He pinched his lips, hiding his smile. You looked so uncomfortable admitting that.

“Oh my.” He placed his hand over his mouth as if the fact mortified him.

You pinched your lips.

“Please tell me you have at least brushed your teeth.”

“Today was the first day in just as much time.”

Again he put his hand over his mouth and widened his eyes for emphasis. “Appalling.”

You snorted again, and the delightful laugh came back. This time the laugh looked to encompass your entire being, and you glowed. When your laughter subsided, you dabbed at your eyes as you tried to catch your breath. He held out his handkerchief to you. When you took it, you used it to replace your fingers.

“Thank you.”

When you finished, you inspected the fabric, then looked at him.

“You must like your women disgusting to still be here.”

He shrugged.

“How are you feeling?”

“After that nap, I’m feeling well.”

That made him happy.

“Are you feeling well enough for some dinner?”

“Uh—I was told I’m to stay in bed.”

“Yes, Dr. Alfonsi has informed me and the staff as well. That is why--,” he began before walking across the room to the door.

Once he opened it, the staff rolled in three carts filled with platters, trays, and bowls of plenty. Once the carts were parked, he thanked the staff and let them see themselves out.

“Dinner is served.”

The look on your face said you didn’t know what to say, so he uncovered the treys finding the menu items he’d chosen for the meal.

“I was not sure what you liked, so I had them bring all of it.”

He took up a plate and brought it to you. It took a few moments for you to take it, but you did. That was when he went back for his to sit back on the settee.

“Also, do not feel as if you have to eat ladylike for me,” he began.

You took up your fork and shoved an overflowing fork full of mashed potatoes into your mouth, letting a small glob rest at the side of your mouth.

“What was that, your highness?”

That was all it took for his attraction to turn to yearning.

The two of you ate in silence for the most part. He asked you questions to get to know you better, and every new piece of information he found out only made him like you more and more. When you spoke about your career, he heard the passion in your voice, and it spoke to something in him. It had been a long time since he’d been around anyone who was genuinely passionate about the things they enjoyed. It stirred something in him, something he wasn’t quite ready to uncover.

“I am sorry that I did not tell you once we met who I was.”

You paused with your fork in your mouth.

“It’s okay. To be real, why would you reveal to a stranger your secret identity. That’s like Clark Kent walking around in his incognito glasses with an S on his chest. It defeats the purpose.”

“Clark Kent. Superman.”

“Yes, one of my favorite superheroes.”

A soft smile spread across his face before he nodded.

“What’s yours? Wonder Woman?”

He scoffed, then shook his head as he stood and approached the carts, ready for dessert. It wasn’t the Strawberry Cheesecake he truly desired, but it would have to do. When he returned to his seat, he placed your plate in front of you and sat.

“It’s Wonder Woman, huh, or maybe Poison Ivy, ooh, Catwoman.”

He sat there patiently, letting you list them off. He couldn’t help but wonder why those were chosen.

“Before I answer, can I ask why you chose them?”

He saw the mischievous glint twinkle in your eye as your lips quirked up into a smirk.

“Oh, this, I must hear.”

“No reason. They’re just seen as the most desirable by fanboy standards,” you responded while rolling with your eyes.

He suppressed a chuckle to put a piece of the cheesecake into his mouth.

“So?”

“None of those.”

“Oh, please do enlighten me,” you quipped.

Resting the fork on the side of the dish, he responded. “Nubia and Storm.”

He sat there and thoroughly enjoyed watching the emotions wash over your face. Shock was the first, then disbelief, and finally awe. Now you sat there assessing him as if you thought he was pranking you. He was not. You opened your mouth to say something, and he stopped you before you did.

“I suggest you do not repeat it. I assure you I am not.”

Your eyes darkened right at the moment you sucked your bottom lip back into your mouth. Losing his train of thought and head for control, he put another piece of the cake into his mouth, licking the back of the fork. Your eyes lowered to his mouth and your teeth sunk into that delectable bottom lip. If he were a weaker man, he would have tossed the plate he held to the side and been on you in under five seconds, but he was not a weak man. As future King, weakness had no place in the monarchy.

Weakness was not an option until he saw you put the fork in your mouth to mirror his actions, only your tongue swirled around the teeth of the fork in a way that made his pants instantly too tight. Christ, help him.

He cleared his throat and changed his position on the couch to one that would hide your effect.

“Interesting. I didn’t expect those,” you stuttered.

“What did—what did you expect?”

You shrugged and toyed with the fork against your lips. “Something else, but I’m pleasantly surprised.”

Your eyes met again, and the temptation he felt was somehow more than he’d ever felt. He wanted you. He’d wanted you since you cursed about how disgusting the drink was at the bar. The only thing was, this want had shifted.

“I am happy it is pleasantly.”

Again your eyes lingered, and he wanted nothing more than to give in to the heavy cloud of temptation that filled the room.

“What’re you working on?”

He cleared his throat again and straightened himself. “Uh—a speech. One of my father’s projects premiers in a few days, the first since his um—” he cleared his throat again. “Since his passing, and I am going to be the one to cut the ribbon on it.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Keeping his eyes turned downward, he nodded. The sincerity in your voice touched him. “Thank you.”

The silence between you stretched for a few seconds before you spoke again.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“The speech, um—I do not know. It just does not feel right.”

“Want me to take a look?”

“Do you have an aptness for speeches?”

You placed your place to the side and adjusted your posture.

“Not speeches in general. I do have a knack for words. I’ve spent the last few years writing about the places I’ve gone in such a way that makes people want to go there themselves. I might know a little something, something.”

He smiled, put the plate beside him, and leaned forward to hand you his laptop. He watched as you read through the few paragraphs he’d already written and wondered what you thought of it. Every lift of your brow or nibble of your lip had him more and more curious as to the thoughts in your head. After a few minutes, you nodded.

“This isn’t bad. You sound like you’re on a good roll.”

“No critique?”

“How about you leave me with it for a day or two, and I’ll have some notes. Or, you could give it to your royal speechwriter.”

He chuckled. “What makes you think I have one of those?”

You rolled your eyes and smiled. “Hello, this is a monarchy. I am sure the monarchy employs people to make sure their dear prince is always PC.”

You were right.

“I think I would rather leave it with you,” he replied, making you smile in the process.

“Okay. I’ll knock your socks off then.”

“You already have,” he said, standing to take your plate.

He tried to arrange the empty plates, dishes, and classes on the carts in a way that wouldn’t have them falling once they were moved.

“Is there anything else I can get for you?”

He turned in time to see you wobbling toward him, clutching the IV pole with one hand and a plate with the other. He saw your knees buckle and wrapped you in his arms, taking you to the bed in the process. With you underneath him, he couldn't deny how right this felt. Your breathing was heavy, your eyes bright and chest heaving. The way you were looking at him made his next move the only possible one.

He brought his lips toward yours but right before he claimed them, he hesitated. The tiny sliver of space between your lips made it easy to feel the literal electricity that sparked between you. He was so close, but so far, and he wanted to get closer. The fact that you didn’t look as if you objected to this made his blood bubble with desire even more than it had hours ago when he first walked in.

“I apologize,” he whispered before he pulled away from you with whatever ounce of strength he had remaining. He stood before you then held his hands out to you.

“Let me help you.”

You placed your hands in his letting him hoist you up. He wrapped his arm around your waist and helped you back to the side of the bed you’d been this entire time. When he eased you down, he spread the blanket over you and assured you were comfortable. Being sure to keep his eyes away from yours, he turned to his things and gathered them.

“I will let you get some rest. If Dr. Alfonsi found out I were here preventing that, he would give me a stern talk.”

“Thank you for this,” you said.

He took his laptop from your bed and nodded. “I will email it to you.”

“You have my email?”

“I am head of this country; I have multiple resources at my disposal,” he replied, smirking at you. Your smile said you fully understood his meaning and knew he was teasing. You understood him. Yet another thing to like about you, he thought. He quickly averted his eyes then gave you a slight head bow.

“Good night, Xari.”

“Good night, your highness.”

He walked toward the door and poked his head out to instruct the waiting staff to remove the carts. The walk back to his room was filled with several stops as he thought to go back, but when he realized he couldn’t, he carried on his way. He’d never been filled with so many conflicting wants and thoughts before, and he suspected as the coming weeks stretched, this would be just the tip of the iceberg.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged/untagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!***

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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avengerscompound · 4 years ago

Text

Until the End of the World - 10

Until the End of the World: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count: 1801

Rating: E

Warnings: pregnancy

Synopsis: Four years after Steve and Bucky got to the bottom of the HYDRA conspiracy that had led to you and your son being hunted for the first three years of his life, you, Bucky, and Steve have carved out a nice life together. Things are calm and you feel like a family unit. When Geo starts calling Bucky and Steve ‘dad’, a decision is made to try and add to your family.

Things aren’t as calm as they seem. When your pregnancy hits the papers, HYDRA rears its head once again, and Steve and Bucky need to track you down to protect the family they had created.

Chapter 10

The tabloid sites all latched on to the story of you being pregnant very quickly. Due to the fact you were often seen out with either Bucky or Steve or both, there had been speculation about who exactly you were. Theories went from dating one and cheating on them with the other. Being a ‘close family friend’. Dating one and the other being a close friend. Bouncing between them both like a ping-pong ball. Many fans speculated that they were polyamorous. Bucky had even made the mistake of going deep into the ‘Avengers fandom’ and discovered people doing what they called ‘shipping’ the three of you together. Not just the three of you but him and Steve with all kinds of people. He’d stopped looking when he saw people writing stories about him and Tony together. It turned out there were things he was better off not knowing.

None of the tabloids ever assumed polyamory though, and neither he nor Steve was going to confirm it for them. That made your pregnancy the subject of a lot of speculation. Whose baby was it? The most loved version of the story was that it was Bucky’s love child conceived while you were cheating on Steve with him.

It was a little stressful, but Bucky had heard worse. There was still a vocal majority that considered him a threat that should have been tried for his crimes years ago. Bucky had learned a long time ago not to google himself unless he was feeling particularly self-destructive. You, on the other hand, were still learning, so it took some reassuring that this matter was no one else's business.

Besides the ever-present gossip mill, things were going well. Every doctor's appointment showed that the baby was developing well. All the tests you had were coming back fine. You seemed to be full of energy and Geo was starting to get excited about the idea of having a little brother or sister. The new place was nearly finished. Bucky hadn’t been sent on a mission for a long time. He felt happy - and that was a feeling he liked to experience as fully as he could because he knew from experience how fleeting it could be.

The three of you had decided to take Geo along to the ultrasound where you’d be finding out the sex. He had only seen pictures of the baby so far and you’d thought he might like to see them moving around and find out if he was having a brother or a sister. According to you, the baby was kicking a lot at the moment, so you weren't worried about bad news being delivered.

Geo sat on Bucky’s lap while Steve sat beside you, holding your hand as the technician squeeze the gel onto your stomach. “Have they been kicking much?” Brown asked as she began to move the wand around on your stomach. Bucky looked up at the screen, waiting for the baby to come into view.

You smiled and nodded. “So much. The little nugget is going to be a fighter.”

Brown smiled. “Just like it’s dads, huh?” She said. “Has anyone else felt the kicks?”

“Not yet,” Steve answered. “I can’t wait though.”

The baby came into view on the screen. You’d been getting pretty regular ultrasounds with your checkups and Bucky liked how the little blob was getting bigger and looking more like a baby every time. “It shouldn’t be too much longer. I’d bet by the end of the week you get a little flutter against your hand.”

Steve looked at Bucky and grinned and Bucky couldn’t help but lean over and peck his lips. Geo didn’t seem that happy with the action and he wriggled in Bucky’s lap. Bucky chuckled and pulled back. “Can you see the baby, G?” He asked, pointing at the screen.

Geo nodded. “The machine is really cool how it works. It’s using sound to make the shape of the baby inside mom.”

“That’s right,” Brown said. “You’re a smart kid.”

Geo looked up at Bucky and grinned obviously very proud of himself. Bucky smiled and ruffled his hair.

“If you see here,” Brown said. “This is the baby's head, and their spine. They have hands and feet and you can even see their toes and fingers…”

Geo watched on fascinated by the digital image of his new sibling. Not just because that was his new sibling, but because he had a scientific fascination with where it was developmentally and how the machines could show what they show. He asked lots of questions about whether it could hear or see and how it absorbed food. Bucky couldn’t really remember what kids were like, and so he had no idea if this was advance thinking for a seven-year-old or not. He felt like it was advanced though, and he made a mental note to ask you later.

“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Geo asked.

“I can find out,” the tech said. “Is that okay, Captain Rogers?”

Steve chuckled. “It’s not just my decision to make.”

Brown hid her face behind her hands for a moment and shook her head. “I’m so sorry, that is such a default reaction.”

“It’s fine,” Steve said. “Please just relax. We’re just patients. And yes, we already decided we wanted to find out.”

She moved the wand around to get it into position. “Well, bud,” Brown said. “Did you have a preference?”

“I dunno,” Geo said. “I don’t have either.”

“Well you don’t have a brother,” Brown said. “You’re going to have a little sister.”

“It’s a girl?” Bucky asked, looking over at you and Steve to see your reactions. Steve looked like he’d been lit up from the inside, and tears had pricked your eyes.

“That’s right. It’s a girl,” Brown confirmed.

“A little girl,” Steve said, softly.

“Now we have one of each,” Bucky said, and Geo turned around on Bucky’s lap and hugged him. Bucky closed his arms around the boy, hugging him tightly. “You’re gonna be such a good big brother,” Bucky whispered as he hugged the boy.

“Do you want any pictures this time?” Brown asked.

“Yes, please,” you said, quickly.

Brown cleaned off the paddle and pressed the button to print out the photos of the baby. You grabbed some kleenex from the counter and cleaned the gel off your stomach. “You think Morgan will be excited there’s going to be another little girl around?” Steve asked Geo.

“Probably,” Geo said. “As long as she likes robots too. Umm… you think the baby will be able to talk to the computers like I can?”

Steve furrowed his brow as he helped you up. Bucky shook his head to clear it. It was strange, despite the fact that Geo had powers that he’d clearly gotten from you, and the fact both he and Steve had the Super Serum, the thought of a super-powered baby had never really crossed their minds. It was like all that was just such a normal part of their lives now, they didn’t really think about how it impacted things. You didn’t have powers and it was possible the only reason Geo did was that both you and his father had been through experimentation so close to his conception. It could be that those drugs were now completely out of your system, but no one had thought to look into that first.

“You know what?” Steve said eventually. “I don’t know.”

“Probably should have considered that before we dived in with both feet, huh?” You said.

“You could ask your obstetrician about doing an amniocentesis,” Brown suggested. “Then they could do a genetic workup. Check for abnormalities.”

“Don’t they have risks involved?” You asked.

“Sure, but normally it’s one of those things where there are risks involved either way, and you decide which outcome is worse,” Brown explained.

You furrowed your brow and nodded and Bucky wondered what you were thinking. “Thank you, Miss Brown,” Steve said. “We’ll see you next time.”

“Of course,” she said, brightly. “See you.”

The four of you walked out into the ward and headed to the elevator. “I’m sorry if I upset you,” Geo said as the doors opened.

“You didn’t, G. Don’t worry,” you assured him, kissing the top of his head. “It’s just not something we thought about when we probably should have. Because you got your powers from me and your birth dad, but Bucky and Steve have their own powers.”

“Well, we’re enhanced,” Steve corrected them. “Not the same as what you have.”

“I think…” Bucky said slowly, aware that this was not a discussion that should be held in front of Geo, but also knowing that the boy needed to be reassured that his powers were not a negative, nor would he be losing the sister he really only just met. “I think it might be too late to worry about. I mean… what if they do find out the baby is enhanced? It’s not like we would love them any less, or not want them. They’d just be special, like Geo.”

“Of course,” you said quickly. “We would have done this either way I think.”

“So… let’s just wait and see. We don’t want to risk anything bad happening,” Bucky said. “The baby looks normal, so we know it’s not a tentacle beast.”

Geo started laughing. “That would be so cool.”

“She might not be able to talk to computers even if she does have powers though, G,” you said, stifling your own laugh. “When I had powers I could hear people’s thoughts. And your dad, he could run really fast.”

“Wow,” Geo said. “I hope she can fly.”

“Oh my goodness,” you said. “I don’t.”

“Yeah, imagine having to change a diaper on a baby and it’s zooming around over your head,” Bucky said, making Geo breakdown into fits of giggles.

“Alright, Geo,” Steve said. “You go wash up and we’ll have some lunch. Do you want to see if Morgan can come to play and you can tell her all about your sister?”

“Yeah, alright,” Geo said, running off to the bathroom.

Steve turned to you and Bucky and took your hands. “It’s going to be fine,” he said. “We can face whatever happens, I know we can.”

“Let’s just hope they can’t fly,” you joked.

“We’ll handle that too,” Steve said.

“Yeah, we’ll put a little harness on them, and weigh them down with rocks,” Bucky joked and you burst out laughing.

Steve wrapped his arms around you and pulled Bucky in close so that all three of you were holding each other. Bucky closed his eyes and breathed you both in, confident that together, you could all handle whatever powers she may or may not have.

// NEXT

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky x reader #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #pregnancy #until the end of the world

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btsqualityy · 4 years ago

Text

We’ll Be Okay

Jimin x Reader

Genre: Major Angst, fluff, established couple

Warnings: miscarriage, description of a medical procedure (it’s kind of vague though), grieving parents

“That’s not a plus sign, is it?”

“What the hell else would it be, a cross on a pregnancy test?”

“Wahh,” Jimin gasped, looking up at you with wide eyes as he clutched both of the pregnancy tests in his hand. “You’re pregnant again jagi.”

“Let me see,” you demanded, reaching out and plucking both tests out of his hand. When you held them up, there was a clear ‘plus’ sign on the face of both tests. “Wow.”

“Aren’t you excited?” Jimin asked, his smile slightly dropping from your reaction. “We both agreed to try for another baby.”

“I know we did, but it’s literally only been two months,” you chuckled in disbelief. A loud cry sounded from Sydney’s nursery, so you set both tests down on the bathroom counter and walked out of the bathroom, with Jimin following close behind.

“Jagi, we’re both still young and have never had any fertility issues so there’s no reason why it wouldn’t have worked,” Jimin pointed out, watching as you walked over to Sydney’s crib and picked her up, cradling her against your chest.

“I know, but I’m still shocked,” you shrugged. “I mean, Syd just turned one three months ago and it’ll be a lot to handle three kids under five.”

“So what? Do you not want it?” Jimin wondered and you immediately shook your head.

“Of course I want it, I’m just nervous,” you admitted. Sydney then lifted her head from your neck, reaching out towards her father.

“And that’s ok,” he assured you as he took Sydney from you, lifting her up and setting her on his hip. “But you’re not gonna be alone Y/N-ah, I’ll be right here with you the entire time.”

“I know,” you nodded, smiling fondly as you watched Sydney snuggle up to him. “Seeing you with them is what makes me want more babies with you, because you’re amazing.”

“Ditto jagi,” he smiled. “And hey, look at it this way: at least you got to find out like a normal person and not by fainting this time.”

“That’s definitely a highlight of this pregnancy,” you laughed, making Jimin do the same.

“I got you, ok?” He whispered and you nodded. “We’ll be okay.”

............................

“So, I see we’re expecting another little Park,” your doctor smiled as she walked into the examination room where you and Jimin were waiting.

“Yep,” you nodded with a grin, the nervousness having waned and been replaced with excitement over the month and some change that had passed since the positive pregnancy tests and your first doctor’s appointment.

“Alright, let’s see what we have here then,” your doctor said, motioning for you to lay back. You did so, making sure to pull up the hem of your shirt a little so that your lower abdomen was showing. Your doctor grabbed the ultrasound gel, squirting a healthy amount onto your skin before grabbing the ultrasound wand and setting it on top. Jimin reached down and grabbed onto your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours as the both of you watched the screen for any sign of your small little baby. However, about two minutes passed without a word from your doctor.

“How long ago did you take that pregnancy test Y/N?” Your doctor wondered.

“About a month ago,” you replied. “Plus another week.”

“And how many days late was your period before that?”

“Three weeks,” you answered with a raised brow. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just trying to make sure that I have this right,” she mumbled as she focused intently on the screen. “So, you’d be eight, almost nine weeks pregnant then.”

“That sounds about right,” Jimin confirmed and your doctor sighed.

“The baby’s heartbeat isn’t exactly as strong as I’d expect it to be at this point in the pregnancy,” she admitted.

“And what does that mean?” You asked.

“I’m sorry you two, but I don’t think this pregnancy is going to make it to full-term,” your doctor said apologetically. “Of course, I’d like to run some more tests on you just to be sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you miscarried within the next few days.”

“But...what?” You chuckled in disbelief. “But I’ve been feeling great this time around. I haven’t even fainted like I did with my past two pregnancies.”

“I’m sorry Y/N, and Jimin, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s no real rhyme or reason to it,” your doctor told you. “I’d like to run those tests on you though so we can be sure, so I’ll go set that up now and give you two some time alone.” Your doctor bowed lightly before quickly excusing herself and walking out of the room and as soon as the door shut behind her, you sat up as tears began to stream down your face.

“Jimin-ssi,” you whimpered, turning to look at him and he just wrapped his arms around you, hugging your body tight to his.

“I know,” he replied, feeling his eyes starting to become cloudy with tears as well.

“I’ve been feeling fine, I swear!” You sobbed against his chest. “I would’ve said something if I weren’t!”

“I know baby, I know you would’ve,” Jimin soothed you. “We’ll be okay, though. I promise.”

............................

After getting more tests done, your doctor found that your HCG levels, which is a hormone produced by the placenta, were extremely low and this only confirmed your worst fears. You requested another ultrasound just to be sure, and your doctor found that the baby’s heartbeat was still just as slow as it had been earlier in the day, and had even slowed down more.

At that point, you had to start to think about how you were supposed to mentally prepare yourself to miscarry your child, but you weren’t even able to leave the doctor’s office before the pain in your abdomen started up and you knew that it was the beginning of what would surely be one of the most painful experiences in your life.

To be on the safe side, your doctor opted to admit you into the hospital rather than have you go home, so that she’d be able to keep an eye on you and your physical condition. Once you began to bleed, you and Jimin talked to each other and decided that it would best for you to have a dilation and curettage, or a D&C. This was so that you could be sure that the baby passed completely, and that there’d be no issues with any future pregnancies.

Once you had the procedure done and had gotten settled in your hospital room, Jimin crawled into the hospital bed with you and cuddled up to you as you both cried into each other’s arms. It was hands down the worst day of your life thus far; such a happy day turning into a nightmare in the blink of an eye.

............................

“Mommy?” You heard a soft voice whisper and you opened your eyes to see Noah standing next to your side of the bed. “Are you ok?”

“Not really,” you replied honestly, doing your best to give him a small smile in order to make not him worry completely but you knew that he’d be able to see through it.

“I thought so,” he said. “You’ve been in bed a lot, and you don’t usually do that like how uncle Yoongi does.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” you agreed, sitting up and scooting back so that your back was pressed against the headboard. “I’ve been really sad though, and so has Daddy.”

“Why? What happened?” Noah wondered and you sighed, the pain of the miscarriage still extremely fresh since it had only been about a week, but you figured that you could tell Noah in a way that was age appropriate.

“Come here,” you said, holding your arms open and watching as he climbed up onto the bed, immediately snuggling into your side. “Well, Mommy was pregnant.”

“I’m gonna be a big brother again?” Noah gasped and you shook your head.

“Noah, the baby died and went to Heaven,” you explained and the smile immediately let Noah’s face, being replaced by a pout.

“I didn’t even get to see them first!” He exclaimed and you almost wanted to chuckle at how outraged he was.

“We didn’t get to see them either baby,” you told him.

“Well, if the baby went to Heaven, then you should be happy right?” Noah questioned. “Because Heaven is a place that’s good.”

“I’m sad because the baby was still a baby, and they should’ve been down here with us, growing in my tummy for a while and then being born,” you explained to him. “Just like you and Sydney did.”

“But since it’s in Heaven, the baby can look over us, like the ancestors do,” Noah replied. “You know, like Daddy said.”

“Yeah, but I still miss them,” you sniffled, reaching up and wiping at your eyes before the tears that had been welling up could spill over.

“Can I cuddle you Mommy?” Noah asked and you nodded immediately.

“I’d love that Noey,” you smiled softly, watching as Noah wrapped his arms around you tighter and threw one of his legs over yours, the same way that Jimin does when he cuddles you.

............................

Three weeks later, you had been making an effort to try and get back to normal, or as close to it as you could manage. You still hadn’t gone back to work, but you weren’t staying in bed all day anymore and you had actually started doing things around the house and playing with the kids again, so you figured that it was a start.

As for you and Jimin, the two of you hadn’t really been talking to each other much anymore these days. It wasn’t that you were purposely ignoring him, it was just that things felt a little tense between the two of you now, since neither of you had never been good at dealing with negative emotions.

One morning, after dropping Noah off at school, you came back home and were greeted with the sounds of glass breaking. Pacing into the kitchen, you found it completely empty, which only further confused you. Taking a quick glance around, you saw that the back sliding door was opened and as you walked closer to it, the sound of glass breaking got louder so you knew that it was coming from there.

“What the hell are you doing?” You asked in surprise, making Jimin stop and turn towards the back porch, the sledgehammer in his hands falling to the ground. There were several large stacks of glass plates surrounding him, as well as several glass cups, bowls, and pitchers.

“I’m breaking glass,” he shrugged, reaching down with a gloved hand, picking up a plate and chucking it against a nearby tree. You watched as it shattered once it came into contact with the bark, and you looked back at Jimin with a raised brow.

“I can see that, but why?” You pressed, walking away from the sliding door and down the steps of the back porch to walk over to him, maintaining a few feet of distance between the two of you since he was still throwing glass.

“I’m angry,” he huffed, picking up the sledgehammer again and swinging it over his shoulder, hitting a glass water pitcher.

“About?”

“The baby,” he grit out. “I’m the one who even brought up having another baby, and then we fucking lost it. Makes me feel like a terrible husband.”

“Jimin, it wasn’t your fault,” you tried to convince him but he just scoffed loudly.

“If I hadn’t opened my big mouth, like I always fucking do, you wouldn’t have been pregnant in the first place,” he snapped, picking up a glass cup and throwing that against the tree as well. “So I’m doing this to release some anger because if I don’t, I’m gonna lose my damn mind.”

“Jimin, stop,” you called out.

“No,” he mumbled.

“Jimin, please,” you said more firmly, but he just ignored you as he threw the sledgehammer down again and began to pick up plates in both hands, throwing them at the tree with more force than he had been before. You waited until his hands were completely empty again before moving towards him, quickly setting both of your hands on his cheeks, which made him stop moving.

“Don’t do this to yourself,” you pleaded and his eyes softened considerably. “There wasn’t anything that either of us could’ve done.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Jimin chuckled ruefully. “Knowing that our child died and that we couldn’t do anything to prevent...it fucking hurts.”

“I know, I know,” you sighed. “But it happened and we have to figure out how to keep living our lives. No reason for us to lose one another in addition to the baby.”

“You’re right,” he huffed, reaching up and wiping his face free of the tears streaks that had stained his skin. “You wanna go soak in a bath, drink wine, and cry until Syd wakes up from her morning nap?”

“Yes please,” you nodded, reaching down and intertwining your fingers with his. “We’re gonna be okay eventually.”

“We will,” Jimin agreed, leaning forward and kissing you softly before turning around and leading you into the house.

............................

“Alright Jagi, do you wanna say a few words?” Jimin asked as he straightened up from sticking the small granite headstone in the ground of your backyard. As a way to get more closure from loosing the baby, you and Jimin decided to have a little memorial service, with just the four of you present. The headstone was very simple, grey in color with an engraving that simply read “Baby Park. 2020-2020. Always Love and Always Missed.”.

“Sure,” you nodded, handing Sydney off to him before stepping forward so that you were closer to the headstone. “I’m so sorry that you couldn’t stay here with us. I still somewhat feel like I failed you little one, but I also know that there’s nothing I could’ve done to keep you here with us. Regardless though, I’m always going to miss you and I love you so much.”

“I feel the same way as your Mommy,” Jimin spoke up. “I’ll always wonder who you would’ve looked like this time, me or Mommy. I’ll also wonder if you would’ve loved cuddles like your brother and sister, or if you would’ve loved music and dancing like they do. It sucks that I’ll always just have to wonder, but I love you very much and I’ll do my best to be patient and wait to ask you these questions years from now, when I see you again.”

“Mommy?” Noah called, reaching up and patting your thigh, and you looked down at him.

“Yeah Noey?”

“Can I say something too?” He asked and you nodded. “Hi Baby. It sucks that we didn’t get to meet you but we all love you a lot, even Sydney. Make sure to look over us with the ancestors, ok? Love you!”

“Very well said, mini me,” Jimin smiled. “Alright, who’s hungry?”

“Me!” Noah shouted and Sydney babbled loudly in her father’s arms as she waved her arms around.

“Ok, come on,” Jimin said, turning around and walking with the kids towards the back porch. When he noticed that you weren’t following him, he turned around and saw you still standing in front of the headstone.

“You coming Jagi?” He called out and you glanced over your shoulder, giving him a small smile.

“Yeah, just give me a sec,” you nodded and he did the same before turning around and walking into the house. You then knelt down, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to the surface of the headstone.

“You’ll be okay without us,” you smiled softly, glancing down at your charm bracelet that sat on your wrist. There was one charm that had the zodiac symbol for Libra which represented Jimin, one that had the symbol for Virgo which was for Noah, and one that had the symbol for Scorpio, which was for Sydney. However, your newest charm held the zodiac symbol for Sagittarius, which is when your third child was supposed to have been born.

“We’ll be okay too,” you stated firmly, giving one last look to the headstone before standing up straight and walking towards the back porch, where you could hear the voices of your husband, son, and daughter flowing from the kitchen. Despite the shitty circumstances, you still considered yourself to be pretty damn lucky.

#bts #bangtanarmynet #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts jimin #jimin x reader #park jimin #jimin angst #jimin fluff #jimin smut #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts x reader #bts scenarios

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talicat713 · 4 years ago

Text

It’s Positive (1/4)

Jax Teller x reader

Part One

**GIF NOT MINE CREDIT TO: @barnes-and-parker and @charliehunnnamm**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s Positive Masterlist

A/N: Hi all. This is my first Jax story. This will have four parts which all will be posted this week (hopefully!) Wanted to thank @rebel-without-cause-x for getting me hooked on SOA.

Warnings: language, pregnancy, childbirth, labor, brief breastfeeding,

Taglist: @rebel-without-cause-x @chibsytelford

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Jax had known each other for years. You were like a daughter to most of the men in the MC, but mostly Tig. Your father had taken a bullet for him, and he promised to protect you for the rest of his life.

You had been in love with Jax for a while. But in the beginning he saw you as just his best friend. He was always preoccupied with the club and whatever girl he was sleeping with. He did however still make time for you once a week to hang out and have movie nights.

You weren’t around when he was with Tara as a teenager. You and your father rolled into Charming soon after. You were the one to help pick up the pieces from that failed relationship, but he still slept with tons of women to get over the pain.

When he announced he was marrying Wendy, your heart shattered. It was right around the time your father had died and you were a mess. Jax had been there for you as much as he could, but you and Wendy didn’t get along. Drugs had killed your mother at a young age, so you knew all the signs of an addict. When Wendy pushed him away from you, you turned to Opie.

You and Opie had a small fling after that. Jax was a little jealous. He had never had to share you with any other guy because you never dated. It wasn’t because you didn’t want to, you were so hung up on Jax and Tig did EVERYTHING in his power to scare every guy away from you. Eventually, you and Opie broke things off, so he could be with Donna, but stayed friends.

Jax and Wendy’s relationship was always messy. He had sent her to rehab a few times, but she never stayed. He filed for divorce after the last straw. You didn’t know that they had tried to rekindle their relationship until she showed up one day with a pregnancy test. Jax got scared and ran, so you made it your mission to help Wendy despite not liking her.

You tried really hard to keep her clean while she was pregnant, but it never worked. She had drugs hidden all over the house, so when you would take one stash, she would go to another. You and Gemma were the ones to find her on the kitchen floor bleeding. You instantly thought the worst. Gemma has sent you to go find Jax while she waited for the ambulance.

You were there when Jax saw his son for the first time. The tears in his eyes killed you, but he didn’t want comfort from you. That’s when you realized that Abel's doctor was Tara.

You sat at the hospital everyday just watching the baby. You had to admit that Jax having a baby made you a little excited. You had always wanted to be a mother, but having polycystic ovarian syndrome and an irregular cycle, you knew that might never happen. In the back of your mind you knew Wendy wasn’t going to be a constant mother figure in his life and Jax wasn’t going to be around as much, so you were determined to make sure that little boy had someone constant in his life.

When Jax brought Abel home and you were waiting with open arms to take care of him. That was when Jax realized he had feelings for his best friend. Jax never told you about his feelings, and he continued his relationship with Tara. The two ended up having a baby of their own, another boy, Thomas, who you also fell in love with.

But once Tara got overwhelmed with being a mother, being a doctor, and dealing with Jax and the club, she ran away again, leaving Jax with both kids. Jax had called you that night crying and you stopped everything you were doing to go be with him. That was the night you became a mommy to those little boys. He admitted his feelings soon after and you two started dating.

Jax asked you to be his old lady one day when you had brought the boys to visit him before a long run. He had been talking to the guys about asking you for a while. Asking Tig for his permission since he was the closest person you had as a father. Tig made sure to playfully grill him, but ultimately agreed. He had even given Jax the ring your birth father kept for you.

Seeing you walk over to him with both kids on your hips made his heart explode. He looked at the guys, silently telling them he was proposing right then and there. Once you got close to Jax, Chibs took the boys out of your arms and Jax got down on one knee.

“I knew from the moment I met you, that you were going to be in my life forever. It wasn’t until Abel was born that I realized my love for you was more than just friends. You’ve been by my side and have been my rock though out everything. I don’t know where I would be now without you darlin’. So what do you say, will you be my old lady forever?” Jax said as he smiled up at you. Of course, you said yes and one month later you had a small wedding.

That leads us to today, one year later. You were sat in Jax’s room in the clubhouse waiting for the results of the pregnancy test you just took. It had taken longer than you’d hoped to have a baby of your own. Jax could tell you were getting frustrated, but always reassured you it would happen when they least expected it and if it didn’t they had two beautiful boys.

You were taken out of your thought by the timer on your phone going off. Cursing under your breath, you looked over at the boys sleeping on Jax’s bed hoping not to have woken them. Sighing in relief, you got up from the bed and grabbed the test off of the desk. You started to cry when you saw the two very bold pink lines. You were pregnant, finally.

After you had composed yourself, you put the test in a plastic bag, then tossed it into the diaper bag on the floor. Grabbing the baby monitor, you walked out and shut the door quietly. Jax was over working on a bike so Tig was the only person in the clubhouse.

You stood next to him and wrapped him in a hug against the bar. “Hey doll, you feeling better?”, accepting your hug.

You chuckled,” I’m pregnant Papa Tiggy,” hugging him tighter.

Tig pulled out of the hug, complete shock and excitement on his face. He was about to start screaming until you cut him off,” I literally found out five minutes ago so Jax doesn’t know. Also, I have sleeping children down the hall, keep quiet.”

Tig pulled you back into a hug and kissed your head. He was so excited for you and your little family,” Oh doll, I’m so happy for you. When you gonna tell Jax and everyone? You know I’m terrible at keeping secrets.”

“I’ll tell Jax soon, but you have to promise not to tell anyone! Not even the ladies you sleep with,” you warned.

“My lips are sealed doll, I promise,” he replied, making the locking his lips and throwing away the key gesture.

You just smiled and pushed him playfully, then you noticed the time. It was time for church. You rushed to the club door standing in front of it so no one could get through. Jax walked over and kissed your lips, making the guys behind him roll their eyes.

“Hey darlin’ you're in my way,” Jax said while kissing you.

You pulled away,” I know I’m doing it on purpose,” you then pushed him back a little so everyone could see you,” I’ve got two sleeping babies in there. If ANY of you wake them up, I’ll cut ya!”

They all laughed a little and nodded, following you into the clubhouse. They all filed into the room as quiet as they could. You checked on the boys who were thankfully still asleep and then went about cleaning up around the clubhouse.

A little while later, everyone filed back out loudly, which you knew would wake the boys. Jax walked over to you grabbing your face in his hands,” You feeling any better baby? You're still pale.” You just nodded and pulled him into a hug. You hadn’t noticed Abel and Thomas come walking out of the room.

Chibs noticed the boys and ran over to pick them up. When he did his eyes widen at what Thomas was holding,” Uh Y/N what’s the wee lad holdin’?”

You turned to them and cursed under your breath, walking over to grab Thomas from him.

“Y/N? ,” Jax asked nervously.

Sighing as you turned to everyone,” It’s a pregnancy test,” everyone’s eyes widened curiously,” I didn’t want to announce it this way but... it’s positive. I’m pregnant.”

Cheers erupted in the room. Jax walked over to you, handing Thomas back to Chibs, then pulled you into the hallway. He grabbed your face in his hands again, “how long have you known baby?”

“Only a few hours, but I’ve suspected for a few weeks. I’m so sick and my boobs are sore. You're not mad I didn’t say anything right? I didn’t hear them get up and I shouldn’t have put the test in the diaper bag, knowing they both go in there,” you questioned panicking a little.

Jax then placed lips onto yours, “Darlin’ I’m so fucking happy I could scream it to the world,” he then placed his hand on your belly and smiled,” Just be happy Gemma wasn’t here. She’s going to be mad she wasn’t the first to know. Good thing, that’s where we are heading.”

Gemma knew something was up the minute you and Jax walked through the door. She brushed it off when she saw her grand babies. You managed to keep the secret until after dinner. You had just put the boys in their room to play for a while, then walked back into the kitchen to help Gemma do the dishes.

“What’s going on with you and Jax? I can tell you're keeping something from me,” Gemma asked curiously.

On cue, Jax walked into the kitchen, wrapped his arms around you resting them on your belly. Jax then looked up at his mom over your shoulder and smiled,” We’re havin’ a baby.”

Gemma gasped, then pulled you both into a hug, “Oh my babies, I’m so happy for you both!”

Jax smiled,” Thanks Mom.”

A week later, you made an appointment with the doctor. You dropped the boys off with Gemma and drove over to the hospital. Jax had left early in the morning so you hoped he remembered the appointment. When you pulled up do didn’t see him or his bike.

After filling out all the paperwork, they called you back into the exam room. As you were waiting for the doctor, you got a little emotional. You really wanted Jax to be there with you. A knock on the door brought you out of your thoughts. A nurse walked in stating there was a big blonde haired man with a biker vest demanding to come back to you. You rolled eyes and told her to let him back.

“Baby I’m so sorry I lost track of time. Wait, were you crying? What’s wrong? ,” he asked as he walked over and stood in front of you.

“I thought you weren’t coming. The doctor hasn’t been back yet,” you said as wiped your eyes looking down.

Jax grabbed your chin so you would look at him,” I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” as he placed his other hand on your belly.

After a few minutes, the doctor came back to go over everything with you, then they got the ultrasound ready. As you pulled up your shirt and laid back, Jax notices a slight swell in your belly. It almost looked like you had eaten too much, but he knew that it was your baby. He smiled and grabbed your hand.

“Mr and Mrs Teller, has anyone from your families ever had twins? ,” the doctor asked. You and Jax looked at each other wide-eyed, shaking your heads no.

“Well then congratulations, you are having twins. Looks like you're almost twelve weeks along. Let’s take a listen to the heartbeats shall we,” the doctor continued.

You were speechless and scared. You were going to have four kids under the age of five. Jax sensed your nervousness and have your hand a squeeze. Then the sound of a heartbeat played through the machine, and then another heartbeat. You and Jax looked at each other, tears filing both your eyes.

Once the doctor finished, she left the room to send the nurse back in to schedule the next appointment.

“Fucking twins Jax,” you exhaled running a hand through your hair.

Jax stood up and kissed you, but was cut short by the nurse from earlier. She scheduled your next visit and handed you an envelope. Inside were a few pictures of your little babies inside you. Jax took one and placed it in the pocket of his Cut.

“We will be fine darlin’. You're the best mom in the world, and we have world's best grandma in our corner as well,” he said as he helped you off the bed.

“Now where was I,” he said, pulling you into a kiss, placing his hands on your belly again. You smiled into the kiss. Jax always knew the right things to say to make you not worry.

(posted 07/13/2020)

#jax teller #jax teller imagine #jax teller x reader #jax teller fanfiction #jax teller fanfic #sons of anarchy #samcro #soa #jax teller imagines #talicat imagines

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suitofvibraniumarmor · 4 years ago

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If You Just Realize [Finale]

Part Fifteen: Watching Over Us

Summary: Irina’s letter bodes well for Sebastian and his growing family. Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader Word Count: 1945 Series Warnings: Death, angst, sadness. Lots of creative licensing, I’m sure. Chapter Warnings: Post-death grief/feels, custody issues, pregnancy. Square Filled: This entire series will fill my realized feelings square for @marvelfluffbingo. A/N: I’ve much enjoyed writing this series, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! The tag list is open; requests to be added can be done so here. There are bits and pieces of Romanian throughout the series, mostly from Google Translate and the few things I’ve picked up as I learn the language.

Also, I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned it before, but a huge song inspiration for the title of this fic (and some chapter titles) is Realize by Colbie Caillat.

Thank you so much to everyone who read, reblogged, replied, allofthethings, for this fic! I’m very proud of it and have loved writing and sharing this story with you. Your support means the world! Keep your eyes open for a new series announcement coming Sunday! ;)

Series Masterlist

Y/N —

Well, here’s a letter I never dreamed of writing. Having Milena, though, it’s changed everything. I look at my previous little girl and I want to give her the world. I’ve brought her into a scary world, and without a father to boot. I know, though, that she will have no shortage of family, love, and opportunities.

Thank God for my brother. Sebastian is a good man. I’m a better person for being his little sister. Being a mama on my own seems so much more possible with my family, especially him. I know that my baby girl will always have that father-figure in her life with him around. Can you just imagine him walking her down the aisle one day? She’s such a tiny thing now, but I can picture it perfectly in my head.

Part of protecting my daughter is making sure she is taken care of in the event that something happens to me. No shortage of family and love means there will be no shortage of people taking care of her, but I want it to be Sebastian. He’s going to think I’m crazy. My parents might not even understand. But I know, with every fiber of my being, that he is the best option to raise her if I’m not around. I can’t explain it beyond that — I just know. He will get her through my absence, get her through the toughest times in life. He will give her all of the love in the world.

Which is why I’m writing you. I’m honestly not sure who will have a harder time if something happens to me, Milena or Seb. You’re his best friend, and I can only pray that the two of you maintain that friendship — not for the benefit of this potential situation, but for his sake and yours. I can tell you now that I secretly hope the two of you will see the love you have for each other and let that come to fruition. Either way, Y/N, you have to be the one to guide him through all of this. He will be grieving, may not know the ins and outs of parenting, especially of parenting a little girl … have to admit, I’m laughing to myself thinking about him trying to do her hair or pick out outfits for her. He’ll figure it out, on his own or not, but I know the best choice for my brother, in so many ways, is you.

I’m having all of the legal documents sent to you, as well. You’ll be in a better place to handle all of this and make sense of it to Sebastian. He’ll handle my parents, but only if he’s in a good place. Help him find that good place. Please.

Whatever happens with the two of you … take care of each other. Take care of my little girl. Take care of Mom and Dad. I’ll be watching out for you.

— Irina

Philip set the letter to the side. Y/N had read it aloud to Sebastian when she first opened it, and they had read it countless times together, but hearing Philip read it aloud with all four of the grandparents present made the emotion new and raw. Even Tim and Anthony were brought to tears by the words. After a box of tissues was passed around, Philip continued.

“The legal documents sent have all been endorsed — they’re legitimate. I spoke with the lawyer Irina had draw everything up and put in charge of sending the letter and the papers out. News of her death didn’t reach him quite the way it was supposed to, which delayed everything being mailed, and then they sat in Los Angeles for a while, of course. She’s included copies of everything we need: Conor’s rights being signed away, copies of the emails they exchanged leading up to that, a last will and testament appointing complete guardianship to both Sebastian and Y/N. I know we want to avoid a hearing, so I’ll present these to the court, and we’ll go from there. I don’t see, though, with all of this, how anyone could give Conor any part in custody of Milena, including visitations.”

Alice sniffled. “We have told Conor that we won’t take part in his case. We love our son, but he has to face the consequences of his initial decision.”

Sebastian nodded his gratitude. “We’d like to make sure all of the grandparents are included on visitations in the final papers, but Y/N and I want to adopt her. We want to make her officially ours.”

“And everyone is in support of that?” Philip asked.

All four grandparents nodded their agreement, with enthusiasm and without hesitation. Philip explained the process going forward, promised to do his best to keep it out of the courtroom, and sent them on their way.

The remaining days that Milena was with Conor, Y/N and Sebastian worked to put the final details of her birthday party together. They visited the breeder and put a deposit on a puppy they could pick up on Milena’s birthday to surprise her with at her party. Y/N washed her bedding and found a couple more things to decorate with, and Sebastian worked on putting together the swings they had invested in but hadn’t gotten to setting up yet.

After that, there was nothing left to do but wait. With thirty-six hours to go, they decided it was okay to go out for a date night. They hadn’t been able to since they had opened up about their feelings and decided to make a real go of things, so they took the opportunity and went to dinner and a movie.

“I had a good time tonight,” Y/N said, leaning on his shoulder while they waited for the movie to start.

Sebastian smiled and kissed her forehead. “We’re only halfway through the evening, Bright Eyes.”

She shrugged. “I know, but I’m with you. That’s all I need.”

“Me too,” he agreed, hooking a finger under her chin to bring her lips to his as the lights in the theater began to dim.

By the time Milena’s birthday came around, life had fallen into a pleasant routine. The adoption wouldn’t be final for a couple of months, but that was more to do with court timelines than anything; one week with a little girl processing her mother’s death and a lot of other changes in a short time had been enough for Conor to know that parenting was not something he could handle. He dropped his end of the custody battle a couple of days later, allowing the family to move forward with their lives unhindered.

Milena’s night terrors continued, but were becoming less and less frequent. She was still seeing the psychologist once a week, and that seemed to be helping. She had even had an overnight with Georgeta and Anthony without any mishaps.

Sebastian left around lunchtime to go pick up Milena’s puppy, leaving the girls home to put the finishing touches on party decorations and make sure everything else was in order. Milena was in her birthday outfit, her hair was secured in a cute, curly ponytail, and she was jumping around like she’d already eaten an entire pan of cupcakes.

“Is it time yet, tanti?” she asked Y/N for the millionth time that day. [Tanti = Auntie]

Y/N chuckled and scooped Milena up in her arms. “Not yet, princess. Very soon, though.”

Milena groaned. “Can I call Gramma Alice and Bunica and ask when they’re coming?”

“You can call Gramma and Grampa,” Y/N offered, dialing the number and putting it on speaker before handing the phone to the now-three-year-old.

Thirty minutes later, all of the grandparents had arrived. They grinned at the little girl dancing around and showing them everything that was set up for the party. While Milena was kept busy, Y/N checked her watch and realized Sebastian should have been back by now. Frowning, she found her phone and stepped outside to call him.

“I’m just pulling up to the house, babe,” he answered.

She looked up and spotted him, so she smiled and waved. She waited there, anxious to get her hands on that puppy.

“Two puppies?” she exclaimed when Sebastian approached with a puppy in each hand. He carefully handed her a black and tan one, its little tail wagging faster than a hummingbird’s wings.

Sebastian kissed her hello, then stepped back. “I saw how you were eyeing that one when we put the down payment on Milena’s puppy. No reason both of my girls shouldn’t have a puppy.”

Y/N held the little creature close, tears welling in her eyes. “She’s so precious!”

“Why are you crying?” Sebastian chuckled, pulling her to his chest and kissing her again. “I didn’t know you’d be this excited!”

“I am excited,” she sniffled, “but it could also be the baby.”

Sebastian nodded, then his eyes went wide. “Baby?”

Y/N giggled through her tears. “I was gonna wait to tell you — found out at my doctor’s appointment the other day. I wasn’t expecting it at all, since it was just a yearly check-up, but since you and I haven’t been preventing anything, they wanted a test and it came back positive. I was going to wait to get through the party before I told you …”

Sebastian set down the puppy that was in his arms and grabbed up his wife, tears flooding his own eyes now. “I can’t believe this — I can’t … I can’t form words.”

Y/N grinned and wrapped her free arm around his neck. “You don’t think it’s too soon?”

He shook his head, taking her face in his hands. “From the moment I realized how long I’ve been in love with you, I knew we had a lot of time to make up for. I’d say we’re right on track.”

“Me too,” she grinned. “Let’s not tell everyone yet though, okay? One shock at a time.”

Sebastian nodded his agreement and looked around for the puppy he had set down. He was just corralling the little thing when Milena came out to the porch and saw what her Uncle Seb had brought home.

“Puppies!” she squealed clapping her hands and running toward Sebastian. “Can we keep them?”

“This one is yours,” Sebastian told her, handing the puppy over and guiding her on how to hold it safely. “Happy birthday, munchkin!”

“Thank you!” Milena said before peppering the puppy with kisses and then asking if she could go inside and show her grandparents.

Y/N opened the door with her free hand. “Let’s go!”

Sebastian took the door from her, allowing both girls to go in and show off their new pets. He stood back and let them have their moment. Watching his parents, his wife, his niece, and Alice and Tim, Sebastian felt a moment of sadness. His sister should have been here for all of this. He would always miss her, but the pain of it was still too fresh.

Seeing that Sebastian’s smile had fallen some, Y/N stepped in front of him and wrapped her arms around his middle. He hugged her back.

“She’s watching over us,” Y/N reminded him. “She said so herself.”

He leaned to kiss her. He knew that Y/N was right — after all, he was married to his best friend, would be able to raise his niece the way his sister would have wanted, and had a baby on the way. Without his sister watching over them, he wasn’t so sure all of this wouldn’t have passed him by.

“She did,” Sebastian grinned, “and I’d say today is perfect proof of that.”

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @hurricanerin @horsesandbandsforlife @im-not-an-armrest-im-short @shynara51 @sea040561 @pinknerdpanda @xtina2191 @jackryanplz @beakami @heartsaved @fullprunerebelstatesman @blackwidowismyhomegirl @averyrogers83 @jennmurawski13 @connie326 @auriandthepussicats

IYJR: @elsatxx @tanelle83 @amanda-teaches @etherealwaifgoddess @kmuir1 @ntlmundy @jayankles @rebekahdawkins @denise1605 @rhadigen @peace-love-hobbitness @itsallyscorner @mizzzpink @auspiciousharriet @the-murder-strut-murdered-me @learisa @tellmewhatyouwill @katherinereid @lokilokilokilokilokiloki @itsmycorneroftheinternet @andreagf956 @voltage-my2dlove

#marvelfluffbingo2020 #sebastian stan #reader insert #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader #queue and i remember budapest very differently

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anotheronechicagobog · 4 years ago

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Functional Dysfunction - Rheese - Chapter 1

written by @anotheronechicagobog

A/N: This is a new series I’ve been trying to work on and I’m so happy that I’m finally done the first chapter! It’s IMPORTANT to note that this the fic I took a survey for a while back so; Sarah Reese has a double specialty of ED and Neuro. Also, it’s a bit AU so be prepared for that.

Warnings: swearing, vomit, unplanned pregnancy, talk of abortion

The waiting room was a decent size, but she still felt small. Surrounded by medical diagrams and leather couches, and pregnant women, and pregnant women with children. She felt completely out of depth and she was finding it hard to breathe. Her tunnel vision was only broken when the nurse called her name. The older woman smiled at her obvious nerves and Sarah was instantly relieved, not because of the woman’s assuring demeanour, but because she knew that if she had gone to a doctor at MED instead of Planned Parenthood, she would have instead been met with shock, judgement, and awaiting a comment from Doris.

“Dr. Singh will be with you in a few minutes.”

“Thank you.”

So Sarah laid back on the examination table in the flimsy blue paper gown with her unmentionables in the breeze, because of course, Sarah found herself in a situation where she’d need a transvaginal ultrasound instead of a pap smear. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, trying to calm herself down.

“Ms. Reese?”

“Hi.”

“Hello, I’m Dr. Singh. You believe you’re pregnant?”

“Yes, I took two home tests, I’ve been nauseous but only between two and four in the afternoon and one and four in the morning, I missed my period, I’ve been fatigued, and my breasts have been sore. And it’s... Uh, it’s Dr. Reese, actually.”

“Okay, then. Are you in your residency?”

“Halfway through my second year.”

“So you know how this works then.”

“Yes.”

“Did you bring any support? We have counsellors and resources you can use. Your mental and emotional wellbeing is just as important as your physical health.”

“I’m fine. I just want to get the pregnancy confirmed and then book an abortion. I’m in my second year of residency, the father was a one night stand, and my main source of income comes from my mother who would not approve of me having a baby out of wedlock.”

“I completely understand. Med school was hard enough for me without pregnancy and then a baby. We’re still going to have a counsellor talk to you about it beforehand, make sure that you’re making the decision for you and not for anyone else.”

“Alright, I guess.”

“Well, let’s get started, shall we?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah was right, she was pregnant. She wasn’t surprised and it didn’t change how she felt. So when she walked into her next shift she didn’t expect a concerned Maggie to approach her. “Hey Sarah, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Maggie, why? Did something happen that I don’t know about?”

“You’re pale, you haven’t been eating much lately, and you’ve been more tired lately. What’s going on Reese, are you sick? You can talk to Goodwin and she’ll give you time off.”

“I’m grateful that you’re worried about me Maggie, but I’m not sick or anything, I promise. It’s just stress.” Sarah tried and failed to tell herself that she wasn’t technically lying, but pushed that thought to the back of her mind and took in Maggie’s disbelieving demeanour.

“If you’re sure...”

“I am.” Maggie gave her a look that clearly said ‘I don’t think you’re telling the truth but your lie is plausible so I’m letting it go for now’ as she exited the doctor’s lounge, leaving Sarah alone. She took a deep breath as she put her stuff in her locker before grabbing a clean pair of scrubs. After she’d changed into them she looked into the full mirror of the dressing room, staring herself down. She willed against herself not to do it and lost. She turned to the side and placed her hands over her abdomen. She knew that the fetus inside of her was tiny, the size of a sesame seed, but... She didn’t know what she was doing, truthfully. So she shook her head and squared her shoulders before tying her hair back and walking up to the nurses’ station. “What have you got for me, Maggie?��

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Andrew Pierson was seventeen and optimistic, something that both she and Rhodes admired. It made their daily rounds and checkups much easier. On most days they both went at the same time so that both departments were able to get first-hand results and to prevent miscommunication. The only problem was that they were always at 3:30 pm, smack dab in the one-hour afternoon window of Sarah’s ‘morning’ sickness. She did her best to quell it in advance; ginger tea, fresh air, mindful of what she’d had for lunch, and she was always drinking water. Sometimes though, like today, morning sickness couldn’t be quelled or repressed. She and Rhodes were discussing Andrew’s latest brain scan and what his injury meant for a valve replacement, when it reared its ugly head like never before. The bile was rising up her throat, fast and hot. She stopped talking in the middle of her sentence, drawing attention from her colleague and her patient. She didn’t register dropping her tablet. She darted into the adjoining bathroom and emptied the little liquid she had in her stomach. Even after it was all out she had to sit there dry-heaving. The burning discomfort in her throat didn’t bother her like it used to, and the painful twisting in her stomach annoyed her more than anything else at this point. When the hellish nausea finally passed she was able to register that she wasn’t alone. Rhodes stood behind her, holding her hair back for her. She turned to look at him and he clearly felt unbelievably awkward, like her, but she did see worry clearly on display behind his eyes. “What’s going on, Reese? You’ve been sick all week.” She hastily got on her feet, only for Rhodes to have to steady her when her balance wavered and mind spun from doing it too fast. After she was okay enough that Rhodes could let go, she warily made her way to the sink to rinse her mouth, only to find that there was some vomit on the edges of her lips and chin, only furthering her embarrassment as Rhodes tried to make eye contact in the mirror.

“It’s nothing-”

“Okay, stop. This is not nothing, you don’t think I’ve noticed how pale and nauseous you get every day? I may have my head wrapped around for too much but I’m not an idiot. Not to mention, you literally just dropped our patient’s brain scans to vomit. You are not fine, actually, you know what? Let’s just go down to the ED, get you checked out-”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Reese, these are continual symptoms, they could be the sign of-”

“I’m pregnant.”

“... Oh.” Sarah bit out harshly, turned the water off, and left the bathroom, leaving Rhodes standing by the toilet, as she blinked back tears. The look in his eyes, the acknowledgement, the pity. She picked up her, thankfully undamaged tablet, as a demure Dr. Rhodes came to stand beside her again. “I’m very sorry Mr. Pierson, I think I ate some bad sushi yesterday. Let’s just finish our appointment and then we can get you started on your new preparation plan so that you’re ready for surgery, okay?”

“Sounds good, and I hope you feel better soon, doc.”

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Dr. Rhodes had spent the remainder of Andrew’s appointment standing beside her clearly shocked and somewhat muted. When they both left though, he steered her into the closest conference room he could find. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am, now if you’ll excuse me I have other patients that need my care-”

“What about you? Who’s caring for you? You’ve been really sick, and although pregnancy explains it, it doesn’t change the fact that you have concerning symptoms or that Maggie is one bathroom trip away from admitting you into the hospital herself. Because I haven’t heard anything about you in any of the gossip I’m going to assume that you haven’t told many, if any at all, people here. So is there anyone who knows? Anyone who can help you out? And what about the father? I mean you’re pregnant, you’re going to have a baby. Have you spoken to Goodwin yet? She’ll work with everyone to make sure that you’ve got everything you need-”

“Okay, stop! No one knows and I want to keep it that way. I’m not... I’m getting an abortion. And I just...” Sarah took a deep breath as she blinked her tears away. Not now, not at work, not in front of Dr. Rhodes.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” He stood there awkwardly, his arms hovering around her form, unsure of whether he should embrace her or not. Sarah shrugged his hand away and took a few controlled breaths. “I won’t tell anyone, but, does anybody know? And I don’t mean from work, I mean in general, do you have someone to talk to about this? Or take you to and from the procedure?”

“No but it’s fine, I’ll just call a cab after.”

“What if something goes wrong during the procedure, who are they going to call? You have to list an emergency contact.”

“I’ll be fine, everything will be fine.” Sarah took a steadying breath as she tried to quell her morning sickness, again, and stop her body from shaking. “Are you trying to reassure me? Or yourself?” Sarah honestly didn’t have an answer for that.

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Sarah cursed herself constantly over the fifteen-minute drive it took to get to Molly’s. Not only did she reveal a pretty damning secret to one of the hospital’s top surgeons, but she hadn’t been able to get out of going to the bar with the rest of the ED staff. And since Molly’s was a firefighter bar, owned by a few members of the 51st firehouse, the father of her child was most likely going to be there. She sat in her car, trying not to let the dread fill her as she stared at the ornate door of what was now her least favourite bar, not that she enjoyed drinking enough to have a favourite. She took the seat next to Maggie and tried to join in on the laughter that was being shared amongst her colleagues. But she couldn’t, she felt hot and cold all over, her breathing was tense, her chest was constricted, and her smile didn’t quite meet her eyes. The fact that Jimmy Borrelli, the father of the unborn child inside of her that he didn’t even know about, was staring at her with familiar lust-filled eyes, and that Connor Rhodes, currently the only person who knew about her pregnancy, just entered and looked at her with a mix of shock, horror, and concern, did absolutely nothing to help with her stress or her pregnancy symptoms. Rhodes made his way over to the table with a guarded look on his face. “Hey guys, how about I get the next round?”

“You’re not new anymore Rhodes, we know you’re not a complete stuck up ass, you don’t have to keep trying to bribe us.”

“Thanks for your words of kindness, Halstead, but this isn’t bribery, this is me offering beer.”

“... Fair enough, man. I think we’re all up for it.”

“Great, hey Reese, would you mind helping me carry it all over?” The meaningful look Rhodes sent made it clear he was using this as an excuse to talk to her away from their co-workers. “Sure.” She tried to sound chipper as she hopped out of her seat, but her voice was tired and it cracked partway through the word. Rhodes visibly frowned and Sarah could feel the concerned stares from her co-workers. They walked to the counter and nodded at Hermann, ready to wait until he was available. “I know that you’re... ‘Cancelling your subscription’,” he spoke lowly, mindful of all the ears around them and how fast gossip flourished among the groups present, “but you still, you know, have it. Should you be drinking?”

“I’m not. I’ve missed too many get-togethers and because of my, uh ‘binge-watching’. People, Maggie in particular are getting suspicious. And honestly, even though I’m ‘cancelling my subscription’, I can’t bring myself to do anything to harm... You know. I, uh, I don’t even drink, really.”

“Yeah, I know. Is there anything else I can get you, then?” Sarah shook her head even though her stomach had turned on her and was eating itself. The bodily organ betrayed her, making an audible growl that could be heard above the music bursting out of the speaker directly above them and the loud mixture of conversations that made nearly everything inaudible. He raised his eyebrow as she scolded herself internally and tried to ignore the warmth creeping up to her cheeks at his bemused expression. “You sure about that? How about some food? I hear that Mills has taken up working the kitchen here, the food should be good.”

“The food is great! And I’m not just saying that because I own that place.” Sarah jumped at Hermann’s voice, not knowing he’d gotten back to them.

“Would you mind showing me a menu then, Hermann? I won’t turn down free food.” Sarah nodded her head at the man standing next to her with a slight smile on her face, feeling better than she had all day if she was being honest. “Oh, is the good doctor buying again?”

“Yes I am, which reminds me, three pitchers of Coors please, and-”

“Spaghetti and meatballs.”

“And spaghetti and meatballs, please.”

“You got it. Here’s your beer, glasses for everyone, and your food’ll be brought over to you when it’s done.”

“Great.”

“And Reese?”

“Yeah?”

“Give us a good review, will ya? We could use all the help we can get to gain some traction for the kitchen.”

“You got it.”

Sarah eyed the tower of glasses she had in her right hand, concentrating far more than necessary if she was being honest, to make sure that she didn’t drop them. When Sarah set the glasses and full pitcher down she took the opportunity to look around the tables at her colleagues. Everyone had gone back to their conversations, and weren’t regarding her with caution, except for Maggie and Manning. They shared a look with each other, then her. “I’m fine, promise.” They shared another look with each other before discreetly taking her hands into theirs. “We don’t believe you.”

#One Chicago #chicago med #Chicago Fire #Sarah Reese #connor rhodes x sarah reese #connor rhodes #maggie lockwood #Natalie Manning #jimmy borrelli #will halstead

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soundofseventeen · 5 years ago

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Potential Parent Test Pt. 2 (Choi Seungcheol)

lmao i know i’m posting 2 days in a row (wow) but i’m clearing out my tabs on my computer and will forget about this but i made a part 2 bc... i’m soft okay

Part 1

You stood in the bathroom, hand over your mouth. Your mind went back to 2 years ago, the humor of the situation making you laugh out loud. Or maybe that was just the hormones. Or the excitement. Or the nerves. You weren’t entirely sure anymore, you just knew you felt all of the emotions.

And of course this had to happen when Seungcheol was on tour. (Well, it happened before that but… Oh you get it).

“Auntie Y/N!” You heard from outside, making you laugh a bit more. You looked up at the mirror, seeing the tears you hadn’t even felt on your face.

“Coming!” You called back, hearing the little pitter patter of your technical nephew running away. He just mastered the art of walking, and seemed to think running was the best option for everything. You took the test and put it in a little baggy, exiting the bathroom at your friends house. You were staying here for the last few weeks of the tour, mainly because you couldn’t stand being in your apartment alone (that and free babysitting for your friend).

As you walked into the kitchen, your friend looked up at you from the table.

“So?” She asked, slight concern on her face. She had been concerned lately because you randomly got sick periodically, and was the first one to suggest this might be the cause. When she first suggested it, you laughed, thinking she was completely off the mark here. There was absolutely no way. Then you thought about it… and did some research… and she took you to the store to get a test… And…

She let out a scream and ran to hug you as you nodded your head, causing you to start crying and laughing again.

“I’m so happy for you and Cheol!” She yelled, her own son watching in confusion. “We should try and get you a doctor appointment before he gets back! That way you know for sure, for sure! You two don’t need to worry about a thing, we have so much stuff from this little monster anyway!”

You nodded your head again, putting a hand to your stomach as she went to grab her computer. Now all you could think about was Seungcheol getting home as soon as he possibly could.

Seungcheol sighed, slightly waking up. He was so happy to be home. His eyes opened and he saw you asleep in his arms, hugging him so tightly. You were always like this when he got home, you always seemed to hold onto him just a little more, probably hoping that he wouldn’t leave again. He always chuckled when you did it, teasing you about being so clingy. The grin on his face always told you he was joking though, because you knew that he adored it as much as you did.

He let out a deep breath, looking at the little box on the table. You told him you had a gift for him when you picked him up, but by the time you got back to your shared apartment, he was so ready to just curl up and crash. In fact, that’s all he had been thinking about since they left several hours before. So, you agreed to take a quick nap first, then you would give it to him. Seungcheol was so content with how at peace he felt now, just holding you and feeling you breathe in unison with him.

Except… He did have to pee.

Seungcheol whispered a quick apology, kissing your head lightly. He slowly pushed himself out from under you, placing a pillow so you could continue to sleep. He would be back in a minute anyway. He found himself smiling at you, sleeping so peacefully, for a couple seconds, until his body reminded him on why he got up in the first place.

He stretched his arms above his head, quietly walking to the bathroom, not noticing you waking up and seeing him just walk into the bathroom.

After he did his business, he was looking in the mirror. He did look pretty tired, but still happy. He touched up his hair a little bit, smacking his cheeks a little bit to wake himself up a bit more. As he was about to leave and go back to you, his eyes landed on something on the top of the trash.

A pregnancy test.

A positive pregnancy test.

Seungcheol felt his heart racing in his chest, much like it had two years ago. Then, his mind reminded him of two years ago, when he found a pregnancy test in your bathroom that had belonged to your friend. That had been such a mess, but then such a relief. Now…

Now that thought made Seungcheol deflate. A lot.

He knew that if you really were pregnant, you would have told him almost immediately. You were kind of terrible at keeping secrets. He learned long ago to not mention even birthday gifts around you, because you would spill instantly and then be so disappointed in yourself.

He exited the bathroom, seeing you sitting up on the couch now. You were watching him, worried eyes following him. He tilted his head at you, a small smirk on his face.

“I was gone for 2 minutes, I didn’t even leave the apartment.” Seungcheol laughed, you nodded your head.

“Oh… yeah.” You said as Seungcheol sat next to you again, attempting to pull you back in for a continued nap, but stopping when you resisted. “I think you need to open the present now.” You said, Seungcheol raising an eyebrow.

“Okay.” He said, sitting back up. “But afterwards, another nap. I’m still sleepy.” He pouted at you, causing you to laugh and push his shoulder.

“You are such a baby.” You joked, laughing to yourself at the irony of that comment.

“But I’m your baby.” He grinned, you again laughing at the subtle joke that he didn’t even realize he made. You grabbed the box, handing it to him.

“Open your gift.” You said, feeling nervous. Seungcheol smiled at the box, wrapped in blue with pink ribbon. You were pretty sure he would be happy, but you weren’t 100% sure.

“Cute. Carat colors.” He said, you shrugging.

“Kind of.” You watched as he undid the ribbon, carefully opening the box. You loved him, but it was always a struggle to watch him open presents, he did it so slowly as to build suspense. He finally got the box open, moving the tissue paper you had placed inside.

You saw his eyebrows furrow as he pulled out the tiny t-shirt, seeing a little Seventeen logo on the front. He looked at the back, seeing “S.Coups” and a larger 95 taking space. He blinked at it a few times, a thought flying into his head, but just as quickly flying out.

“Okay, I know I’ve been gone for a while, but I think this is too small.” He joked, looking at you. “Not to mention I already have a shirt like this. Actually, you have a shirt like this.” He said, looking at you again, this time stopping. He took in the look on your face, feeling his heart race again.

“It’s not for us.” You said, Seungcheol not missing the hand going to your stomach. His eyes widened, looking at the shirt again, then your stomach, then back to the bathroom.

“You… You mean… The pre… The test in the bathroom…” He said, waiting for any strong confirmation from you. You nodded your head, Seungcheol’s eyebrows shooting up. “We’re… You’re… We’re…”

“I’m pregnant.” You said, still feeling all the nerves. You had been nervous about this all day, knowing how he panicked last time he thought you were pregnant. Seungcheol continued to stare at you, eyes wide. He slowly looked back at the shirt, placing it on top of the box and moving it back to the coffee table. “I… I don’t really know how this happened but I guess it did and I know that-”

You stopped as Seungcheol reached over and pulled you into a hug, squeezing you just a little tightly. You felt him kiss the side of your head, hearing him almost laughing.

“I can’t believe this.” He whispered, pulling back and looking at you, tears brimming his eyes.

“Cheol…”

“We’re going to be parents. I’m going to be a dad!” He laughed, cupping your cheeks and giving you a kiss, then wrapping your hands in his.

“You’re happy?” You laughed, Seungcheol nodding his head. “You’re… You’re not scared?” You said, a little bit of fear leaking into your own voice. It was subtle, but Seungcheol knew you well enough to notice.

“Are you scared?” He looked at you as you shrugged.

“A little bit… I mean, I’m so excited but… But…”

“Hey,” He said, putting his hand on your cheek again. “We got this. We can handle this.” He smiled at you, unable to keep that smile off of his face. “Besides,” he started pulling you into him again, returning to your earlier position from your nap. “We happen to have 12 babysitters if we ever need them.” You let out a laugh, settling yourself on top of him.

“Yeah I guess that’s true.” You said, a small smile on your face.

“Plus come on, you’re going to make a great mom.” He said, kissing your head.

“You’re going to make a great dad.” You replied, feeling Seungcheol freeze, then let out a chuckle.

“I’m gonna be a dad.” He said, the world’s brightest smile on his face, ready to take the second nap.

Except this time, neither of you were tired anymore.

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sixmapleleafs · 4 years ago

Text

father material // frederik andersen (part 3)

Sitting on your bathroom floor crying with the positive test in your hands, you thought that was the most terrifying moment of your life. Then when you went into labour you changed your mind. However, you realised that actually this was the most nervous you had ever been about anything, you were sat in the waiting room with Amelie in your arms as Freddie sat quietly beside you. The appointment you were waiting for would basically determine whether or not everything you’d been doing since Amelie was born was right, if she’d gained weight and was healthy then all your literal blood, sweat and tears were worth it. And if not, well then you were pretty sure you would feel like a failure.

Freddie noticed that you were acting different as soon as he knocked on your door, you’d scrambled around the apartment all morning changing both yours and Amelies outfits three times because it just didn’t feel right. You knew people would judge you for being a young mother but you never thought their opinions would bother you this much. The drive to the hospital was quiet, Freddie tried to make conversation but your answers meant that it didn’t lead to much.

You still hadn’t spoken about the kiss you’d shared the night before. Auston and y/f/n had come home after their date night, bursting through the door seconds after your lips had separated. Freddie left shortly after and you’d gone to bed still blushing. But currently you couldn’t think about anything other than your daughter. Sure, she seemed fine, good even, but you weren’t a doctor and there was a nagging voice in your head saying that you had been doing everything wrong. You couldn’t stop your leg from bouncing nervously as Amelie stared up at you, it was like she could tell that you weren’t yourself today.

You looked up when you felt Freddie’s hand rest just above your knee, stopping your movement and giving your leg a gentle squeeze. “Are you ok?” He whispered as to not draw attention to you. You nodded giving him your best attempt at a smile but he saw right through you.

“Amelie Y/l/n” the nurse called as she stepped around the corner. You shot up from your seat, adjusting Amelie in your arms as Freddie grabbed the carrier and diaper bag from the floor. You followed the nurse down the hallway until she opened the door for you, “the doctor will be with you in just a minute” she said with a smile and you thanked her before she turned back towards the waiting room.

Freddie set the baby carrier and diaper bag down on the floor, the light thud echoing throughout the quiet room, “hey” his hands ran down your arms causing you to look up into his eyes “I’m sure everything will be fine, you’re doing an amazing job”.

“What if I’ve messed everything up? Or I’ve been doing everything wrong the whole time?” You said, your voice wavering slightly which you blamed on the post partum hormones.

“You haven’t messed anything up y/n, Amelies perfectly happy and I’m sure the doctor will tell us she’s completely healthy as well, there’s no need to worry” he said his hands rubbing your upper arms in an attempt to comfort you as best he could. Amelie let out a little squeal from your arms and Freddie laughed a little before saying “see even Amelie agrees with me”. You smiled a genuine smile for the first time that day before the doctor entered the room.

“So sorry for the wait, it’s been a crazy day” she explained as she quickly scribbled something down on her clipboard. “How are we doing today?”

“A little nervous” you said honestly and she laughed.

“Nothing to be nervous about” she said as her eyes quickly moved to Freddie’s large frame, “I’m glad to see you brought a friend”.

“Actually this is Amelies father” you said blushing a little.

“Ah wonderful” she exclaimed and Freddie moved to shake her hand. You’d explained your situation to her during one of your appointments when you first got pregnant, and she’d been extremely supportive throughout everything.

“Freddie” he said as they shook hands “it’s nice to meet you”.

“Dr Foster, I’m happy to see you two found your way back to each other” she said giving you a small wink as she turned to place her things down. You giggled a little at her actions, she really was more of a friend than a doctor at this point. “So shall we see how little Amelie is doing?”

The appointment went well, Amelie had gained weight and even grown a couple centimetres. You almost cried when Dr Foster said that she was a perfectly happy and healthy baby, you smiled so hard that your face hurt and you practically jumped into Freddie’s arms to hug him. Dr Foster laughed as you brought her into a hug too, before lifting Amelie off the scales and into your arms. You had to answer a few more questions about Amelies eating and sleeping patterns, Freddie stood quietly behind you taking in as much information as possible.

Then you moved onto how you were doing, Dr Foster made Freddie wait outside with Amelie whilst she gave you a physical exam before she quickly finished up some paperwork and said you were free to go. She gave you a wink as you said goodbye and you laughed when Freddie gave you a confused look.

“Everything ok?” He asked as you walked out of the paediatric department.

“Yeah all good, just a check up” you explained as you led him towards the parking lot. He nodded, turning his attention to your daughter when she started to fuss in the baby carrier he was holding. He quickly soothed her and placed the pacifier she’d dropped back into her mouth and you smiled at how good he was with her.

“So y/f/n said you have a game tonight” you said after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah we’re playing the blue jackets, it should be a good game. What about you? Do you have any plans?”

“I think y/f/n wanted us to do something together so we’ll probably have a movie night or something”.

You continued your conversation as Freddie put Amelie into the car and you placed the diaper bag beside her before climbing into the front seat. Freddie dropped you both off at home since he had to get ready for the game tonight, y/f/n greeted you at the door with a smirk and you rolled your eyes preparing for the interrogation you knew was coming.

When you woke up the next morning you were confused when you realised Amelie wasn’t crying, you jumped out of bed and almost had a heart attack when you saw that her crib was empty.

“Y/f/n?” You practically screamed as you ran out of your bedroom. “Y/f/n?” You yelled again when you didn’t get a response. Amelies cries always woke you and y/f/n never took her in the mornings so you were freaking out.

“Y/n what’s wrong?” You heard Freddie’s voice from behind you and you turned around so fast you almost fell over. He was stood in the doorway with a muslin cloth thrown over his shoulder, his hair was messy and he was just wearing a hoodie and sweats.

“Amelies not in her crib” you said so quickly he almost didn’t understand you. He smiled softly and you looked at him confused.

“It’s ok, she’s in her bouncy chair in the kitchen” he explained.

“Wha- how?” You were so confused as to what he was doing here in the first place.

“I got here early so when I heard her start to cry I took her before you woke up, she was helping me make you breakfast well I guess brunch” he said motioning towards the kitchen. You followed him as he continued, “I figured you don’t get to sleep in very often so I thought I’d let you sleep a little longer”.

You nodded as you bent down to see Amelie, who was in fact sat in her bouncy chair in the corner of the kitchen. Freddie quickly rescued the eggs before plating up the food, it smelled amazing and you just stared at him dumbfounded as he moved around the kitchen. He smiled when he turned around and walked out of the kitchen with the plates in his hands, he returned quickly bending down to unclip the strap of the bouncy chair and pick Amelie up.

“It’s going to get cold if you stay there any longer” he teased as he started to walk out of the kitchen again. You followed him, sitting in front of your plate watching carefully as he placed Amelie down on her play mat gently so he could eat as well. You ate in a comfortable silence, it was actually really good and you were starving so this was the perfect morning overall.

“So how long have you been here?” You asked as you sipped your orange juice.

“A few hours, I got here around six then gave Amelie a bottle when she woke up, I hope that’s ok” you nodded as he continued, “then we played for a while before we decided to make you something to eat”.

“You didn’t have to get here that early” he just shrugged and smiled.

“I don’t mind, I would have just been waiting in my apartment until I came over anyway”

“I thought you had morning skate” you questioned, feeling bad that he’d missed something because of you.

“Turns out it was optional” he explained and you nodded. Amelies cries tore your attention away from how domestic this whole thing felt. Freddie was up at the speed of light and you followed behind him.

“She probably needs a diaper change” you said and he nodded. You took her into your room to change her as Freddie cleared the table, you checked the time for the first time that morning seeing that it was almost eleven. Looking in the mirror you cringed, your hair was a mess and your pyjamas were simply a hoodie and some sweats, you ran a brush through your hair quickly before going back into your living room. “All done” you announced and Freddie reached out to take her from you. It was just then that you realised how sore your boobs were, figuring you needed to pump since you hadn’t fed Amelie since last night you excused yourself again.

As soon as you were done you poured the milk into the bottles and placed them in the fridge like you usually did. Freddie had kept Amelie entertained whilst you were busy, showing her pictures of his teammates on his phone and explaining who they were even though she was too young to understand.

“And that’s your uncle Auston” he said as you walked around the corner, “you probably know him already since he’s dating aunty y/f/n, he’s probably woken you up a few times like he did when I first met you”. You smiled as you watched them interact. “Now this is my mommy, she lives in Denmark which is very far away. But she wants to come and see you as soon as she can and she’s going to bring my brothers and my sister as well as my dad, so you can meet all your family from Denmark. Ah, here’s a picture of me with all of them, there’s your uncles and your aunty and then your grandpa and there’s daddy in the middle” he looked up when noticed you were stood in the doorway.

“Sorry I didn’t realise you were there” he said blushing a little, you laughed and assured him it was ok.

“I have to do some laundry and things, are you ok to watch her?” He nodded and you got to work cleaning up the apartment a little before moving onto laundry. By the time you were done it had been almost two hours, you smiled when you saw Freddie laid on the couch with Amelie asleep on his chest. Upon further inspection you saw that Freddie was asleep too. It must of tired him out today, it was his first full day of being a father really. You pulled your phone out to take a picture of the two of them before heading to the kitchen to get a bottle for Amelie, she was due to wake up any minute for a feed.

When she woke up you picked her up gently so you wouldn’t wake Freddie and sat in the armchair so you could feed her comfortably. Freddie woke up shortly after and you spent the rest of the day just watching tv and get little things done around the apartment. The sun started to set and Freddie suggested ordering pizza so you didn’t have to cook, you agreed instantly and you both feasted whilst Amelie had her final nap. You teased him about how pizza probably wasn’t a part of the teams approved diet but he just laughed you off. You ended up playing 21 questions whilst you waited for Amelie to wake up, unknown to you Freddie just wanted to get to know you better and even though it seemed childish he thought it would be a good way to learn more about your life.

“I was going to give her a bath tonight, do you want to stay or you can go if you want- I mean you don’t have to-” you rambled on as you settled Amelie in your lap once she woke up.

“I can stay, I don’t want to impose but I should probably learn right?” He said rubbing the back of his neck like he was nervous. You nodded and told him to follow you into your en-suite bathroom which had a tub. You handed Amelie to Freddie before turning the taps on to fill the tub with a small amount of water, you grabbed the baby shampoo and body wash then set up the baby bath seat after the water was ready. You explained everything to Freddie as you did so and he nodded.

“Then you just place her in the seat so she doesn’t get full covered in the water and it’s very important that water isn’t too hot because babies have very sensitive skin” you said as you placed Amelie into the water. “You also have to be careful not to get her belly button too wet because it’s not fully healed yet”. The water splashed a little as Amelie moved her feet and you made funny faces at her which seemed to excite her even more, you grabbed the little rubber duck and gave it to Freddie. “She normally likes the little ducky” you told him and he started to play with her. You showed him how to wash her hair without getting the shampoo in her eyes and then quickly washed her body before instructing him to get the yellow bath towel that had a duck on the hood to wrap her up in. Once she was all wrapped up in the towel you took a few pictures to send to your mom and a few with Freddie in them too.

“Could you...um...maybe send them to me so I could send them to my mom?” He asked hesitantly.

“Of course, do you want any others of her? I’ve got loads” you said smiling warmly.

“Yes...please my mom wants as many as possible” he said his smile matching yours. After you’d got Amelie into her pyjamas and she’d fallen asleep you and Freddie made your way back to the couch, your mind instantly went back to the last time the two of you had been in this situation but you quickly pushed those thoughts aside and opened up your camera roll.

“So which ones do you want me to send you?” You said scooting over so you could show him, you tried to hide the blush that covered your cheeks as he rested his arm behind you so you were pushed up against him completely.

“Is it bad if I say all of them?” You laughed but shook your head, you couldn’t blame him your baby was fucking adorable and your own camera roll was 95% pictures of her. “I only have this one” he said showing you his lock screen which was in fact a picture of Amelie, she was sat in her bouncy chair sleeping and she looked adorable.

“That’s so cute, when did you take it?”

“This morning, she fell asleep whilst I was making breakfast” he said smiling and you realised how close you really were. His face was inches away from yours and you could feel your cheeks heating up.

“Um I’ll just airdrop the ones I have then or maybe we can make a shared album for pictures of her” you suggested quickly turning so he couldn’t see how much of an effect he was having on you. You didn’t want to admit it but you were starting to fall for him, everything from the way he smiled to how good he was with Amelie made it hard to see him as just her father. But there’s no way he could feel the same, right?

#freddie andersen imagine #hockey imagines #nhl #nhlimagines #frederik andersen #frederik andersen imagine #toronto maple leafs #hockey imagine #nhl fic #father material fic #freddie andersen

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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years ago

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Choices - Tyler Seguin/Jamie Benn - Part 27

Word Count: 2,981

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language

Notes: So I dropped a post about Choices this week and whether or not it will continue. First off thank you to everyone for your kind words, they really mean a lot to me and those that write, so I encourage to always tell those writers when you like one of their stories. It means the world to all of us. Secondly, I think I’m going to see how this chapter goes on whether or not it will continue. IF, I decide to end it, it will be in 2 chapters. I’m not asking for you guys to vote, because I know some people aren’t comfortable with that, but just hit the like button. This series is a bit harder to write, just because the choice can change the direction I want it to go, that’s why I just want to make sure you guys want it to continue. Wow that was long! Sorry about that. With that, Happy Reading!!

Choices Masterlist

As you lay on the exam table while the doctor took your blood pressure you tried to think of anything but the fact that Tyler wanted to take your children away. You knew you needed information on him if you wanted him to drop the lawsuit, for trying to go the nice route had gotten you nowhere. The fact that he filed for custody before your children were even born alone, told you that he was not even willing to try and work things out like you originally wanted.

The doctor spoke, drawing your thoughts away for the moment. "Well as I said when you left, your blood pressure is a little elevated, but I'm not too concerned. I want to do a quick blood sugar test and just see where we're at there before we go overboard. I'm sure the babies are fine, considering we just saw them, but I'm going to grab a fetal scope just in case. I'll be right back."

The minute she closed the door, Jamie started to make his way towards Tyler, but you halted him by grabbing his hand. It didn't stop the words that came out of his mouth then. "You need to get the fuck out of here now before I literally bash your head in."

Tyler, for his part, didn't seem at all scared by Jamie's threat. Instead, he looked at you and said, "I'm so sorry (Y/N), had I known that you were having twins and that you shouldn't be under all this stress. I would've never sent the papers."

A hollow laugh left Jamie's lips. "Like you didn't know she shouldn't have stress in her life. Are you so fucking stupid Tyler? She lost one child already, and she could've lost her life." Jamie's voice started to rise, and you pulled on his hand bringing him closer to you so he would calm a bit. "I want you out, now."

"You have no right to ask me to leave until I know that (Y/N) and the babies are ok."

"Maybe he doesn't," you said softly. "But I do. I want you gone Tyler." His face looked dejected. "Jamie's right, you knew that I didn't need any more stress in my life, but yet you purposely sent those papers to me. I'm done trying to be nice and include you in the birth of our children. Anything that you have to say can be said to the lawyer, for I'm sure ours will be contacting you by the end of the day."

"But (Y/N)…" Tyler pleaded.

"No buts Ty. I'm done. Please just leave before the doctor comes back." He hung his head in shame then and exited the room. You had to swallow hard, to push down the tears that were threatening to leak out. If you were going to make it through this pregnancy you needed to forget about Tyler's feelings and start focusing on bringing your children into the world.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I know that was hard." Jamie placed a loving arm around your shoulders squeezing you into his side as best as he could and dropping a kiss to your forehead. The doctor came in then, and after taking your sugar levels, found that you were hypoglycemic. After checking the heartbeats, she also noted that the twins were fine. She made you eat a little something before allowing you and Jamie to leave the office.

The minute you pulled into the driveway, Jamie was at your side, scooping you up and carrying you inside; telling you that he wasn't taking any chances. He laid you down on the bed, insisting that you rest. "Tell me what you need. I can go get you food or make you something; you name it and it's done."

"Jamie, I'm fine. The doctor just said I need to make sure to eat more regularly and I literally just had that juice and yogurt at the doctor's office."

"Babe, that's not enough. It's three in the afternoon and you flat out said you didn't eat lunch. Let me get something for you. Remember you're eating for three now." Just the thought of twins made you somewhat giddy, to think that two little people were growing inside was somewhat miraculous.

"Fine, but just a sandwich is fine. Don't go overboard. In fact, why don't I make it." You made a move to get off the bed and he stopped you.

"Oh no missy, you're not going anywhere, at least not until you eat something decent. I'll be right back." He scurried off to the kitchen, leaving you there with your own thoughts. You thought about calling Tara and seeing if you could tell Tyler that you knew about Christopher, but then you realized you didn't have her number. It wouldn't be that hard to find, you supposed, but you had a feeling it would put her in a difficult position. There was always the option of talking to Kathleen, but for some reason, you were still wary of her, especially since you knew for a fact that she was the one who hit Jamie. It really left you with one option, and that was going to Tyler's and seeing what you could find out. You knew he had a safe in the bedroom closet, maybe it held some valuable information. The Stars had a road trip coming up, so it would give you the perfect opportunity to sneak in and see what you could find.

"I made you a turkey on honey oat. I hope that's ok?"

God, love Jamie. You weren't sure what you would do without him. "It sounds perfect."

"I also brought in some veggies and a Gatorade."

"You're the best, Jame. Now come sit down with me." He plopped down on the bed but pulled out his phone instead of helping you eat the massive amount of food he brought. "Who are you calling?"

"My lawyer. I want us to be on top of this whole custody battle." You were so focused on finding information to get Tyler to drop the suit that you'd completely forgotten about taking the legal route on things. While you ate your lunch, Jamie chatted away with the attorney. He had him on speakerphone, so you could hear everything that was said. A nurse had grabbed the papers from the ground when you fainted and the attorney wanted Jamie to email them over. Jamie headed off to the office so that they could be looked over right away.

It was about ten minutes later and he walked back into the bedroom, still on the phone. "So it seems pretty straightforward," the lawyer was saying. "Mr. Seguin is asking for full custody of the child, as well as rights to all doctor's appointments and access to the birthing room when the baby is born."

"And what do you think our chances are of winning?" Jamie asked.

"Well, historically courts tend to decide in favor of the mother." You let out a sigh you hadn't known you were holding in, maybe you wouldn't have to resort to snooping around Tyler's. "However, the fact that Ms. (Y/LN) doesn't have a support system here in Dallas to help out with the baby as well as a steady job at the moment, doesn't bode well going up against Mr. Seguin." Ever since Jamie, got hurt, your job took a backseat. He kept telling you it didn't matter, but then you'd gotten pregnant and missed more work and they had let you go. It seemed like you didn't have a leg to stand on in this custody battle.

"She has me, and she doesn't need a job since I'm supporting her."

"I'm afraid unless the two of you were married or at least engaged; it's not really something that Ms. (Y/LN) can use."

"We understand," Jamie told him, though you could see his wheels turning.

"Let me look into this some more and I'll get back with you in a few days."

"Sounds good, you have my number if you need anything." Jamie hung the phone up then looked over at you.

"It doesn't sound good, does it?"

"It could be better," Jamie answered. "But we do have another option." You knew he meant getting married, and you weren't sure if that's the road you wanted to go down yet. "Hear me out, sweetheart. I've always wanted to marry you, from day one." He got up then and headed into the closet.

"What are you doing?"

"You'll see," he shouted out from the wardrobe. You were just about to get up and see what he was actually doing when he popped out. "I've had this for a while now. I planned on asking you a long time ago, but then we had that double date with Tyler and all hell broke loose." He pulled out a small box and you knew it contained an engagement ring inside.

"Jamie…"

"(Y/N), I know the timing sucks. I wanted it to be special and romantic and everything that you've ever dreamed of. But we can have all that at some point. If this helps win custody of the babies; I say we do it." He dropped to his knee then and held the box out to you. "(Y/FullN), will you marry me?"

You didn't know what to say. You loved Jamie, but you didn't feel right using him like this. Though wasn't this where the two of you were headed in the long run. "Jamie, are you sure you want to do this?"

"I've never wanted anything more in my entire life."

"I just don't want you to think that you have to marry me, so we can get custody." You pulled him off the ground to sit on the bed by you. "When we get married, I want it to be because we both want this; not because you feel like you have to." He was grinning like an idiot. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Because you said 'when' we get married, which means you're saying yes."

You couldn't help yourself; you smiled back. "Not an official yes; more like I'll think about it?"

"Well, how about you wear this until you make that decision." He placed the ornate diamond on your finger. You had to admit it was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen.

"It's gorgeous Jamie." It sparkled no matter what way you moved your hand. "I love it," you told him pressing a kiss to his lips. "And you."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

Over the next couple of days, you and Jamie discussed the engagement several times. You'd convinced him that you'd give him an answer when he got back from his upcoming road trip. It was surprising, but you actually hadn't heard anything from Tyler over that time. You'd made the decision that you were still going to sneak into his place to see what you could find, while he would be out of town. They would be gone for four days, so you thought you'd wait a day before heading over.

You knew that he'd eventually find out that you were there because there was no way you could shut off the cameras outside. So you decided to text him and say that you'd left your earrings in one of the bathroom drawers and figured it would be less awkward to get them while he was gone. He didn't respond back, but then you never expected him to. The code was still the same to get into the house, and of course, the dogs came running to greet you. "Hi babies, I missed you so much." You played with the boys for a good ten minutes, before moving into the bedroom; the dogs following you.

You pushed away Tyler's suit coats, knowing the safe was behind them. The problem was you didn't know the code to get into it. Knowing Tyler it wouldn't be something too hard, so you tried his birthday first. Damn, you thought for sure it would be something easy like that. You then tried his number from the Bruins along with the Stars and still no luck. Next, you put in your birthday on the off chance that it may be that. It wasn't. There was an endless number of dates you could try, his family's birthdays, the dogs' birthdays, the day he entered the NHL; almost too many to count. You took one last stab at it before giving up. It was a date you'd never forget and apparently neither did he, for it was your first date with him. The safe clicked open.

There were a couple of his more expensive watches in there and a bunch of documents, which were essentially what you were looking for; though none of that stood out to you. It was the small red box that caught your eye. You knew you shouldn't but you found yourself grabbing the box and opening it. Your breath caught in your throat, for the engagement ring was exactly what you would've wanted. It was as if he had somehow read your mind and made the ring of your dreams. You looked at the one on your hand that Jamie had given you, it was beautiful in its own right, something that any woman would want and that was the problem. It was literally made for anyone, whereas this one, the one you knew Tyler had specially made was designed with you in mind. Your heart melted and for a moment you allowed yourself to dream of what it would be like if things were different.

Gerry nudged you as you felt tears slide down your cheeks. You closed the box, placing it back in the safe along with any dreams of being with Tyler. Taking the back of your hand, you brushed angrily away the tears that wouldn't seem to stop flowing; now was not the time for this. You picked up the papers and files and headed into the bedroom. There was a file, with Christopher's name on it and one with Kathleen's as well. Inside Christopher's was a written letter from a doctor's office you'd never heard. It basically stated that Tyler was Christopher's father. It seemed a little suspect to you, considering it looked nothing like the one you'd received from the testing center, but you brushed that aside thinking that Tara may have just used the OB/GYN's office instead of a testing service.

There were other legal documents as well. One that showed how much Tara was actually receiving in support for the child. The amount was astronomical. There was no way that she should've needed money for an abortion as she said or anything else for that matter. With this amount, both Tara and Christopher would be set for life. The only other thing in the file was an ultrasound pic. You found it funny that there were no other pictures of Tyler's son in there. It was as if he didn't even care that the boy existed.

You moved on to Kathleen's. Inside there was a contract, just like Tyler said stating that they would date for a period of time and that after that time, she would hand over all evidence she had. Only it wasn't of supposed prostitution, it was information that Tyler had a son. The next piece of paper was identical to the one that Tara had declaring Tyler the father of her baby. You looked at them both side by side. There was something off, but you couldn't quite figure it out. Taking out your phone, you snapped a few quick pictures of all the documents; before putting everything back in the safe. With one last goodbye to your fur babies, you headed out the door. It wasn't quite what you were looking for but it was a start.

When you got back to Jamie's place, you downloaded the photos onto the computer. You'd been staring at them for hours, going through each and every one of them with a fine-tooth comb, yet you found nothing. That was until you put both paternity tests up side by side. You saw it then. It wasn't much, just a misspelling in the address on the letterhead, but then the more you looked at it, there were other things off. The font was the wrong size, and when you looked at the signature, the 'S' wasn't the same. Kathleen's document wasn't a copy; it was a forgery.

Why hadn't anyone caught this before? Tyler had a team of people, one of them should've spotted the fake. Unless he only gave it to his lawyer and no one else. You can see him not paying this close attention, and only being afraid Kathleen would spill the beans. The only part you couldn't figure out was why he would stay with her after the time on the contract was up. You had enough information now though that you could confront Kathleen and find out why she forged the document, and hopefully convince her to tell you everything she knew about Christopher because something was definitely off.

It was late, and you were exhausted, so you decided to speak to her in the morning. It still pretty early when you pulled outside of Kathleen's apartment complex. You thought you would catch her before she left for the day, but she was headed out of the building right as you pulled up; Tara right behind her. What happened next you didn't expect.

*****************************************************************************************

Time for choices again:

A) The phone rings, it's Tyler, calling to tell you he knows why you were in his house.

B) Tara and Kathleen have Christopher only it's not quite what it seems

C) Watching Tara and Kathleen you picked up another clue, and now you think you know what's really going on.

Voting closes on Friday at 8pm EST

#Choices series Tyler Seguin Jamie Benn #tyler seguin #jamie benn #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin imagines #jamie benn imagine #jamie benn imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction

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stalecrackers · 3 years ago

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I've had a god damned day. When I woke up this morning, I would have sworn that I was human being. That I fucking mattered. But so many things have pointed to the contrary.

After three months of constantly trying to get a proper physical therapy referral, including three doctor visits and countless phone calls, I was finally able to begin treatment for my back/spine. It took ages to begin treatment for anything, because the doctor just wouldn't send the referral. Then sent it to the wrong place. Then sent it in complete. Then sent it to the wrong place. Then incomplete, then to the wrong place again, and then finally, the proper referral. I overheard my physical therapist talking to her boss during my treatment this morning. Apparently, the doctor never signed any of the three forms that were required to have his signature, in order for my insurance to process the claims. Bearing in mind I'm being seen on a financial hardship basis, so the remainder of my cost is waived. Apparently my insurance enjoys labeling things as a shared payment, and not a co-pay...as all of my out of pocket co-pays have been met. Well, I joined the conversation, and said I'd been eavesdropping, and that I actually had my supposed follow up to see how physical therapy was going, right afterwards, before work. I offered to deliver the paperwork, and literally not leave until he signed it, then deliver it back. So, they printed it off, and I was told that it could possibly be my last session, even though I've only had three treatments for my back, haven't yet had my neck re-evaluation, and am still severely struggling with my hands. Because my doctor wouldn't return faxes. Won't bother.

So, I get to the god damned appointment, and the mother fucker walks in and fucking introduces himself. I didn't hesitate even a moment to call him out on it. I wasn't rude. Just straight forward and factual. He seemed a little flustered, and then said he did remember me after all, but he just sees a lot of patients. We discussed that I'd made progress, but was still having issues, and that I'd only had three treatments so far for my back, because the referral hadn't been sent. Again. Factual. Not rude. He asked if there was anything else of concern. So, I said yes, actually. I needed an updated std screening, and that I prefer to be responsible and get them every six months. He said he doesn't like to do the tests just to do them. I restated the question, saying I needed the test, as the person I'd been seeing had gotten someone else pregnant, and I'd recently started having pain during sex. He said he doesn't like to do the tests just to do them, and that I probably needed more lubricant. I just stared and said Ok. After hesitating, I said “Not trying to be rude, but is there a reason to not do the test?” He said he doesn't like to do the tests just to do them, and that if I started having any issues, like vaginal discharge, he could see me in a month and do the tests then. I restated that I was having pain during intercourse and that I'd like to get the test done. He said “well, I could take a urine sample”, to test for gonorrhea/basic bacterial things. I said Ok. As soon as he left and the door closed, the student who'd been observing the appointment and he erupted into a slightly hushed bickering session. I couldn't make out what they were saying. The nurse who'd initially taken my vitals and information came back in to give me an updated tetanus shot and said she'd collect my urine sample. I asked if it was for the std test, to verify. She said yes, it was. I said it was extremely bizarre, that I'd asked the doctor to do an std screening, as sex was painful and the person I was seeing got someone else pregnant. I told her that I had to twist his arm to even get the urine test done. She seemed sweet and professional, and said it might usually be another appointment and a physical exam. I said he wanted me to wait a month to get it done, even though I'm having pain now. That I wanted to be responsible and be sure I don't have anything, so I don't accidentally spread stuff to people. She mentioned it might be something my obgyn might need to do, and suggested an updated pap test as well. I told her I'd already had my female exam for the year. She was polite, told me to relax my arm muscle so I'd be less sore from the tetanus shot in the morning, and later helped me open the plastic bag the urine sample bottle was contained in, as my hands were not cooperating on opening it. When I leave, she sweetly tells me I can go to the desk and schedule either my one or two month follow up. I scheduled my two month follow up, to track the course of my physical therapy. I'd decided to go to a walk in clinic to get the rest of my std screening done. I already had a veterinary appointment, and two appointments of my own scheduled for the following day, but I'd decided I'd have to squeeze in a walk in clinics, since he'd refused to do the tests.

So, I leave the place, and on my two fucking minute drive home, I get a call from a number I don't recognize. I answer. Immediately recognize the doctor's voice. He asks if it's ' miss (redacted)', I reply with 'yes sir'. He said, since we're doing these tests, I wondered if you'd like to actually bundle the syphilis and HIV tests in with it?” I reply with “yeah, that would be good.” He went on to tell me that his supervisor told him he apparently could do the std screening. He said to come in whenever was most convenient to me, and tell them I'm there for lab work, and that they'd take my blood. I asked if it was fine if I came in the morning. He said yes that would be good.

That mother fucker. One, or both of the women involved absolutely stood up for me afterwards. So, that's a win. I don't know if it was the student who erupted into an argument with him. Or the nurse who told me I could schedule my one or two month follow up, if I'd like, but one of them said something.

During all of this, I'd been offered a full time position, with benefits, for $35,000-$45,000 a year, in graphic design. But, the only catch was, the job is within 200 yards of my former stalker's house. The man who assaulted me, on more than one occasion. The hideous coward whose pupils I watched dilate as I pleaded with him that he was hurting me. Over and over again. The sorry sack of shit who took away my dexterity. My art. The very core of my identity. The person who ruptured my disc in my neck, causing the most excruciating years of my life. Whose laughable actions lead up to having a TIA, ungodly severe migraines, and the feeling of literal strings of fire being pulled through my arm and out the tips of my fingers. Who paralyzed my hand. Who made me believe I'd never be able to even draw a straight line again, or ever escape the most excruciating pain imaginable. The person who told people I was over reacting and making things seem worse than they were, after he'd twisted and snapped my neck two months after the spinal surgery to correct the injury he'd caused in the first place. The person who has made me previously contemplate the exact and vivid details of what it would be like to put a bullet through someone's skull. The reason I can't be touched in the same ways as I used to, and the reason I have to warn my dates how to avoid triggering my ptsd. The person whose actions lead to me having to leave my job and take time on disability. The reason I couldn't create art for four years of my adult life. The person who alienated me from my social group. Who convinced me I was broken and would never be lovable. Whose treatment sent me into downward spirals of self injury, substance abuse, and three hospitalizations. The reason I have tattoos on my forearm, cover scars created when testing the sharpness of a blade before I planned to lay my veins open.

The person offering me the job claims he didn't realize any of this transpired, though he doesn't seem adamant about no longer associating with him. Apparently, he told my friend that he's tried contacting me over the years and that he doesn't understand why I ignore him and won't talk to him, and says he still misses me. Almost six years after rupturing my disc and effectively ruining my life...paralyzing my hand, creating years of almost no use after spine surgery because of re-injury, and having to go through the process of relearning to individually move my fingers... after all of this...He misses me. Cute.

I would obviously get a restraining order if he ever contacts me again. The statute of limitations is up, and the lawyers I consulted with wouldn't take on a case with him. I waited too long. I was too emotionally vulnerable to get the police involved after he hung me, or after he forced my head to the left and upwards, creating a deafening pop and a shock wave down each side of my incision. I was too emotionally vulnerable, after weeks of barely being able to get out of bed, my head drooping to the side, and struggling to teach myself to do all of my self care left handed. After being forced to very effectively become ambidextrous. After having to be spoon fed, because I couldn't lift soup to my mouth. After spending so many weeks, day in and day out, laying in bed, struggling to roll in the correct manner in order to get up to use the restroom as my head drooped and my hand was useless. After all of the times I've spent, afraid of going to sleep, because I knew I'd have to start all over again with the pain that I cannot even now fully comprehend. The reason that, even today, I can only sleep in very specific positions, with a special pillow that costs $125. The reason that my muscles are still so atrophied that I am barely able to carry out basic tasks, spent several weeks in physical therapy before I could properly resume basic household chores, because I finally started a job. An attempt to restart my life. Carrying out basic work tasks forfeits my art. My daily tasks. Weeks of extensive physical therapy has gotten me to the point that I'm sweeping and mopping my home again, and not struggling as much to cook my meals. When I give in to my desire to create, I suffer substantially at work. Shattering pain spreads through my hands and fingers. Every single day I have to spend 1-2 hours when I first wake up to do a body awareness and mindfulness meditation. To tell myself that I am worth the basic commodities of life. To check in on my pain levels, and to stretch my muscles in my neck, back, and hands. My back suffers extensively, as I put strain on it to avoid further injuring the herniated disc from the assault that occurred after spinal surgery. My hands suffer from years of under use. My neck suffers from herniation, bone spurs, permanent arthritis caused from the first assault and the surgery, and simply from the trauma of being so severely injured and being so systematically emotionally traumatized. This “person” misses me.

I obviously cannot take a job, where I will live in fear of this person. Spend every day scrambling to and from my car, in fear that if I loiter too long, I might be seen. Might be discovered. I cannot have another job that is jeopardized by this person, where I actively need to involve the police and file a restraining order. I might be able to afford the dental care that I need, for the tooth I recently broke, likely from clenching my teeth from stress. And I might be able to pay for the upcoming eye exams to deal with the retinal holes and 30 flashes of light I see a day in my right eye. I might be able to move out of section 8 housing, where I automatically jump to the floor any time I hear a loud sound, in anticipation of another shooting. I might be able to afford my own groceries, without having to avoid certain stores because of the disgust upon being presented with an EBT card. I might be able to afford my arthritis medicine, and not have to order it from a foreign pharmacy. I might be able to afford to see a doctor that doesn't make me feel like a god damned mangy mutt, waiting in a run at the pound to see if I make it off the euthanasia list within the next month before my fleas get treated. Perhaps I'd be able to see a doctor that made me feel like a god damned human being, even. If I got extremely lucky. Not one who offers to double my anti-depressant, and refuses to do an std screening.

I scanned a copy of the reports from physical therapy. My hands were rated as a 72% disability, and my back was 50%, apparently. I am keeping a copy for my own records, as everyone is god damned incompetent, and I have to scratch and claw my way into a minimal existence.

When I finally got to work, three hours and four minutes after originally scheduled, my coworker was angry. He yelled at me because I asked him to keep a look out for some black ear buds that I'd dropped on the floor some time during the week. He then proceeded to blare screaming guitar music and make pottery. A strange, angry, and entitled combination. The temperature in the office was 78. The main studio was 91. The chemical room was 93 or 94, and the kiln room where I was doing most of my work was well into the 100's. I kept having to take breaks to cool down and to put ice on my hands and wrists and shattering pains shot through both hands and wrists. I even temporarily draped myself into the freezer, when I was getting ice out. The small part of the building that has air conditioning, I turned down to 68 degrees. I sat in one of the tattered cushioned chairs. I've gotten past my panic related to sitting in at office chair, as that's where I was sitting when my second neck injury occurred. That was something I discussed extensively in therapy. I felt the sweat trickle thickly down my back, squeezing between my skin and my tightly cinched back brace. The air started to chill my skin. I momentarily felt a little too cool, until the sweat dissipated, leaving me feeling somewhat comfortable. I wanted to work on some of the class demos I created last Monday. Trim them before they became too dry. Sacrifice my dexterity, and fight with my numb finger tips to create something that might, if I'm lucky, actually get me into a graduate program that would allow me to get the fuck out of the miserable stagnation. Something to challenge my mind and further my own art. But, I knew if I did, I would get bitched out by my boss, scolded and reprimanded like a naughty child, and told to create hideous phallic slab vases, even though they hurt my hands and wrists to create. She has made three. I've made 14. When she asked me to make more the other night, I said I would assemble them if she made the slabs. She said “ME?! You want me to help you?” I blandly replied yes, I did want her to help me, as the process injures my wrists, hands, and neck. My elderly coworker jumped in and offered to help. He's very kind, and I think he wanted to divert potential rising conflict.

So, instead of working on my own stuff, and being reprimanded for doing so, I just sat and stared into space. Tired, weak, exhausted, dejected, and fairly discouraged. A kind yoga teacher massaged my arms and hands for me, because she saw I was icing my wrists. Kindness always surprises me, and I find myself thanking people multiple times. It leaves me with a strange feeling. Nurturing isn't something I'm accustomed to accepting.

I flipped through my phone so much while staring into the void today that my battery almost died. The person I spent time with last night seems to have disappeared, and the person who seems most interested in dating me, I automatically fear will hurt me physically somehow, so I avoid carving out the time to spend. I apparently associate sweetness or tenderness with physical danger. Lines start to blur and I don't know whether I'm sensing a “red flag” or I'm so intrinsically programmed to think that if someone's interested in me, they're surely going to stalk, assault, and force themselves on me.

It's late, I'm tired, I'm in pain from typing. My hand is numb and tingly, and swollen and achy. I have to get up super early so I can take my cat in for a surgery I'm going to spend the next two months paying off. So, I have to say, again, it's been a god damned day. I'm just overwhelming relieved that my boss has put in her notice. Maybe, just maybe, I can get her old position, and get benefits and get out of the ghetto, and get things up to basic safety standards so my eyes don't burn from surfer dioxide. A thing that simply got a “huh” from my doctor, when mentioned. “Doctor”, I should say. He doesn't take me at all seriously, because I'm a female with ptsd. Mental health struggles mean you don't matter, within the medical field. It's been a mother fucking, god damned day. Good night.

#mental health #art #assault #spinal injury #poverty #recovery

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chilledplantmum · 4 years ago

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CW: stillbirth, mental health, covid 19, trauma

*Names have been changed for privacy and confidentiality reasons

Life line: 13 11 14

Men’s help line: 1300 789 978

Beyond blue: 1300 22 4636

1800 RESPECT

SANDS: pregnancy and infant loss: 1300 072 637

Kids helpline: 1800 551 800

7.50 Monday morning

I was just doing my normal morning routine I was on the loo and I felt this weird sensation I thought Chester had moved away from my bladder as I felt a pop and a gush.

I didn’t panic I just thought it was wee but I called labour and delivery just for an opinion they weren’t concerned and as I had an appointment at 11am so I just chilled out and had breakfast I pushed away any worries because pregnancy teaches you to chill because if you worry about every little thing you’ll go mad. Matt was sleeping as he had had the flu with migraines and temperatures all the previous week and he was buggered. Then I went back to the toilet and I was shocked at that point as I was bleeding bright red blood. So I left the bedroom en-suite as not to wake up Matthew and called labour and delivery again and they seemed not fussed then Matthew came out to the lounge and his face was just shocked he couldn’t believe I hadn’t told him I just wanted him to not worry.

I drove myself to the hospital alone as Matthew was still displaying symptoms of being sick and as this was the thick of covid 19 stages 4 there was no way he’d be anywhere near the hospital though we both had negative results the previous weeks so we could see Matthews son as we didn’t want to expose anyone.

I was called into my appointment very quickly and the OB rushed me to ultrasound. The ultrasound was a bit strange even I could tell there was something wrong as the amount of 20-week ultrasounds I had seen on Facebook did not look like this. The OB said everything should be okay it did look like there was not much fluid but in her words at the time ‘I’m not great with ultrasounds I’ll send you up to the assessment unit they are much better’ but Chester still had a heartbeat so again I didn’t get too worried and I hadn’t had any pain so I made my way up to the assessment centre. Again I was called in fairly quickly even though I counted about 15 heavily pregnant women sitting waiting.

The midwife sat me down and checked on Chester with the Doppler he was rolling around running away from the pressure typical of my little nugget but she found his heartbeat no issues. She did some swabs and then called a doctor. The doctor performed a procedure to check my waters had truly broken. They couldn’t get an accurate answer as there was too much blood. But again they assured me that there was no ‘pooling’ of amniotic fluid so everything should be okay. I went to do the ‘pee cup’ the results showed high glucose which is typical of myself being hypoglycemic and a slight infection marker but nothing extraordinary. Then they transferred me to a single assessment unit to see the head OB and again I didn’t stress because no one seemed to be too worried. I was actually enjoying knitting the scarf I’d been working hard at the whole pregnancy.

The head OB again did a fluid swab which was a nasty painful 60 seconds of my life. Oh and the fact he made the comment that my vagina was at an odd angle and it was impossible to see my cervix. I won’t go into too much detail but it was rough and if I ever see another speculum I’ll most likely cry.

Called Matthew at that point can’t really remember what we spoke about but I was just updating him so he wasn’t out of the loop. I then headed to the toilet and on my way back to my room I saw my OB say to another midwife do you think this test is positive? She replied yes definitely a poor girl. I stopped myself went back to the room in a hurry and just kept repeating no it wasn’t my test why would they just talk openly where everyone could hear. I slowed my breathing something I had been very accurate to my entire life due to anxiety issues so I held it together.

The head OB came in and non-chalnonty told me yes the test is positive my waters had indeed broken. I immediately speed-dialled my love. At that point I could not talk I stopped paying attention to anything around me and I could barely hear any voices. The OB explained the situation to Matthew and left swiftly. Matthew and I just cried not saying a word but uncertain of what the future held. I had a few midwives come to comfort me and told me not to stress babies are born all the time at early gestations. I asked her for some food as I wasn’t prepared for a lengthy hospital experience all I had eaten was a bowl of rice bubbles at 9am it was now 2pm. All she could find was 3 custard puddings as I was feeling faint and quite hungry I downed all 3 without hesitation. I was admitted and given my own room hey it kind of looked like a fancy hotel room. Tad odd there was no TV.

Again I asked for food and asked to make sure my dinner had been organized they assured me it had been.

Then my mate Didrie* the first midwife I met on the ward. I will not forget her she was kind, she was gentle.

I asked her for answers there was none at that point.

I called Matthew so he could hear the plan she explained so he could have his questions answered.

Now at this point, I need you to brace yourself as I can hardly handle my anger for this moment.

My honest and compassionate self told Dierdre about Matthew and I’s covid tests and they were negative but Matthew had developed a dry cough that morning. He was instantly refused entry to the hospital and was made to take a covid test.

Bare with me this bits a little complicated. I had driven the car in and as we only have one car Matthew needed to come to pick it up so he asked Dedrie if he could bring my bedding and bags for the admission to the front door and give me a hug......... the answer of course ... no

I called my mother and asked her to drive Matthew to pick up the car and so I could at least see one familiar face..... breathe..... the covid rules for antenates was one visitor for the entire stay and only 2 hours of visiting per person.

At this point I had Deidre explain this to Matthew as I was exhausted beyond comprehension. Matthew begged and begged and the head midwife said absolutely not until his covid test was negative. He basically ran to get the test and was told it was going to take 3-5 days. He told this story to the nurse who completed his test she cried. That angel of a woman put his test under immediate healthcare exemption so it was fast-tracked for 24-hour turn around.

At this point, I was given the impossible choice of having my mum give me a hug and a conversation so I could cope or wait for Matthew when his test came back. At this point I almost shut down I had no answers for my unborn and my stupid empathetic brain pulled Dedrie aside and apologized for how Matthew and my mother sounded I had chosen to wait for the father of my child. I apologized to her and said they were quite angry as only a year and a half ago I had almost succeeded in ending my life. Deidre hugged me and said just wait.

She returned not more than 5 minutes later and said call your mother right now and get her up here. You have exceptional circumstances.

At this point, I was still waiting for food I believe it was around 8pm. The food service lady knocked opened the door and stated have you got your tray? I looked at her utterly confused and said what do you mean? I haven’t received my dinner yet. She just said okay well dinner service was over.

I begged mum to go get me food I was weak tired emotional and confused. My mother’s anxiety got the best of her and said she had no idea how to navigate sunshine. I dialled Matthew crying and said can you buy me some tea, my darling partner said what do you want anything for you.

Deidre Returned and said she had gotten approval for external food to be brought in. My mother went to the front door to collect the food from Matthew. She was hassled by security on the way back to my room.

It was KFC just chips and potato and gravy and as it was quite late at this stage I took in as much as I could but I could hardly eat it was the Coca Cola that saved my energy levels. I had to just force the food in.

Mum left after her 2-hour visit with a letter from the hospital stating she had permission to be out after curfew.

I just sat on my hard horrible uncomfortable hospital bed and just cried not sure how long but it was endless tears.

I finally passed out from exhaustion.

The night head midwife came in and woke me up around 1am for an obs check. I knew something was wrong as I could barely make out a human she had so much PPE. She said you are now in isolation and you will be given your covid test in the morning. I said can I get a can of Pepsi out of the vending machine just quickly as I hadn’t had any soft drink in soooo long. It was hard no. She did my obs and checked Chester with the Doppler she kept complaining how hard it was to find him as it was such an early gestation but for a fleeting 3 seconds, I heard the gallop of his fluttering heart. And everything was okay.

I was woken up abruptly the next morning at who knows what time. At this point, I lost track of days time and distance. The doctors said your ultrasound to check on my little nugget won’t be today as it was a too high risk of infecting people with my nonexistent covid. They left just as quickly as they had presented.

I just broke I have no idea how long I was crying for it was grief it was something between a scream and a moan it was so loud I had to drown out my own thoughts I had to drown out everything. I pressed the call buttons who knows how many times no one ever came.

I passed out. I was then woken again by a stranger covered head to toe in white there were no eyes no smile no humanity. She did my obs and said are you ready for your covid swab? I begged I had had no symptoms a negative test. She said it doesn’t matter you need to test clear for our safety. I said what happens if I refuse, she said your situation won’t change it will just prolong your stay. I opened my mouth with tears streaming down my face I have a pretty strong gag reflex but there were a few dry heaves. Then the nose she said I’ll be gentle I was just hanging to my thoughts of Matthew and Chester. She did one nostril and the pain was unbearable every nerve ending in my body was burning from emotion the psychical pain was just something I couldn’t cope with. The masked woman said you need to calm down it’s not good for you and baby. She asked are you ready for the other nostril, breathing through snot tears and pain I said if I refuse will I be made to take it again if there is a negative result. She said no, I said, in that case, you're not touching me. I’m not entirely sure what happened next I think at that point I stopped calling family as I couldn’t bear to see the pain in their faces or in their voice. I just kept saying be strong, bubs needs you to be strong right now. I don’t remember much from the interactions from those midwives that day. I do know that I started to develop a migraine as I had not had proper caffeine in close to 24 hours. There was another angel that day who said if you need anything to buzz me as you cannot leave this room. I said all I want is a can of coke and I’ll be able to survive the day. The midwives I could hear were run off there feet so many met calls for other mums every time I pressed the buzzer it was a good half hour to an hour to get service. Then came changeover I had a new midwife, my angel didn’t come through and the migraine started to become unbearable. Then she opened the door she said I didn’t forget about you. Look after yourself she took off her mask and smiled, it was an act of pure empathy and humanity.

I had been referred to my next angel the social work rainbow that came from pain and clouds. Rainbow* you saved my mind that day. You sat with me for over 2 hours listening. We swapped stories of our social work careers which were eerily similar. We talked about maternity social work and how horrible it can be and how unfair the world is. She then said she was off to do the paperwork for Matthew to stay the night when he tests negative the first exemption The hospital had to learn to deal with.

Then one of the best phone calls of my life came through it was Matt I could hear his smile from a mile away he had tested negative. I cried with joy a deep love.

Later that night my blood pressure plummeted I was faint tired and had barely eaten or drank any fluid.

The doctor said we need to hydrate you right now and ordered IV fluids

I demanded they did not the vein in my elbow as it was always the most painful IV vein he tried twice. I came very very close to passing out and giving up but I stayed awake and strong I downed some orange juice. He said the vein he found had collapsed and he would try the other arm I again said do not touch my elbow. Again he stuck in the canular needle and once again the vein collapsed. I went numb, I have an intense fear of needles but my blood pressure continued to plummet from the stress and pain. A second midwife gave it a try yet again they found a vein it didn’t produce enough blood. I remained steadfast you are not to touch the painful vein every doctor and midwife saying how much easier it would be. Now at this point, they brought in someone who never fails..... she spent a good ten minutes analyzing my arms finally stuck me number 4 she was in and then the vein once again collapsed.

I was so tired and delirious she talked me into the painful vein. Such regret for that moment.

She was gentle it was by a bit tender but not painful.

My iv fluids went in and I quickly started feeling better my bp came back up. They wrapped my arm and left me to rest. I don’t recall much else not sure if I slept. I believe it was a video call with my angels of a blended family my Matthew, my sons mum and Chesters brother and nanny. I was so happy just to hear My bonus son giggle and say he’s silly quirks I was floored how much he had grown in just over a week.

Sleep was not my friend that night the canula started to burn it started to ache and I started to just give in to the pain and let the panic take hold I just lay there hyperventilating and just giving in to the pain. Again the head midwife entered who knows what she looked like I knew she was older, I was so so weak and I begged and begged for her to take out the IV I started to lose it. She said to stop being silly it doesn’t hurt that bad I’ll flush it and you’ll be okay. You need to get it together. She broke a boundary she rubbed my belly and said you need to stay calm for the baby.

She bandaged me up and said okay shall we listen to the baby? I was so happy to hear those words just connecting to the little miracle in my uterus. He played up a treat she said sounds like there’s fluid in there and you hear the gushing? Hope-filled my heart and then I heard him hiccup I slept well that night even though I was writhing in pain from the IV

I sat there rolled up in my maternity pillow and therapy blanket and I’m not a religious person but I sat there cried and prayed I said Hail Marys our fathers I begged and pleaded with the universe, I promised I would do anything to keep my child. I was a good person I helped people, I am kind I am generous. How could God take my baby from me when my abusive ex who had threatened to kill me and any new partner I fell in love with, strangled me several times held a knife to my throat had a perfectly healthy child. I begged I pleaded I prayed. At the end of this stay, god religion whatever you believe does not exist there is no fairness. I just cling to love and joy family good friends and life.

Again like doctors do they banged on my room for rounds stated you will be going for your ultrasound in an hour. I didn’t comprehend anything they said to me the midwife entered the room just a mask and kind eyes and I said what is going on? She said did the doctors not tell you? Your covid test is negative and there ready for you to come down to ultrasound to see nugget boy. I called Matthew tears of pure joy running down my face.

The PCA collected me in a wheelchair I just couldn't find the energy to walk. It was the young woman’s first day and she had no idea where ultrasound was, I said don’t worry I got you to let’s go.

I arrived and waiting an hour for the ultrasound that was ready for me know. I asked reception for a mask from politeness to others couldn't give two shits about anything as I was negative for the dumb virus anyway.

Finally called into ultrasound. I stated to the tech can I call my partner, she said I’ll talk to my supervisor, came back 5 minutes later and said only for the first 2 minutes, I just politely said Thankyou and dialled. The second the machine hit my stomach I saw him I had no idea what I was looking at it was just like a car that had been crushed into a cube I knew it was bad when the tech went quiet and left the room. Matt and I sat there in silence quiet tears running down my face we knew it was bad. The tech returned with the more senior tech, at that moment I was a thing an object they talked amongst themselves about how there was no fluid there was no clear vision of anything. But yet there was his little fluttering heart. He was still going strong.

It was long painful ultrasound bursitis and arthritis in my hips was near unbearable I was just so sensitive to pain which is not something I’m used too I normally can barely feel a thing until I’m at level 8 or 9 levels of pain and even then it’s hard to get me to take pain killers. Matthew and I stayed silent he said I will shower waiting for the doctor.

I went to the toilet and in seconds I could hear my name being called I ran out and went with my next angel The high-risk OB (HROB*)She sat me down and even with all her PPE I knew that look it’s as obvious as a deer in headlights. I paused and said before we start I need to call Matthew. He had jumped in the shower so it took him some time to respond. HROB started I’m so sorry.... that was all I needed to hear I don’t remember the words said next but Matthew has called back. HROB said I won’t say much more until Matthew was there as decisions needed to be made for our child. I had tears again I was out of breath I couldn't catch my breath with the goddamn mask on HROB gave me a minute as I had snot flying everywhere. I said can Matthew please please stay more than 2 hours she said no the government and police make those rules. I could barely stand

HROB asked someone I have no idea who but they basically held me up while walking back to the ward. Just waiting for the elevator I fell to the ground trying to get my breath.

I have no idea how but I made it to level 7 I said to the midwife wait for me I’m going to the fucking vending machine

I was taken back to my room which now I could move freely in and out of. Matthew knocked and the sense of love and relief I had at the moment was indescribable. We just sat down and held each other for hours no words needed to be said. At that point, there were no words.

Rainbow knocked she was so much more beautiful without the lab suit on.

She said I’ve got 10 minutes as I am now running up to my office Matthew you will stay the night I promise you.

Hours went by and then 3.30 came

HROB walked in we arranged the room.

The news was something no parent no human wants to hear.

Bubs our little peanut, nugget bean had a 1-5% chance of having completely normal anatomy and a normal or healthy quality of life.

The next sentence I’m sure nearly killed Matthew right then and there. HROB said bubs had 4 more days to go till viability. But with every second he was safe in my tummy it became more and more dangerous for me. The next words I don’t remember and I still can’t imagine the power. She said if you go into labour bubs would not live. And then if I got an infection I would only have a very small chance of survival many women quickly end up in ICU with sepsis and can die within minutes. She said if any tiny hint of infection set in we would not be given a choice. She made me promise if infection set in I would not refuse treatment and induction as bubs would 100% not survive and if I refused neither would I. It’s was Wednesday I think at that point. HROB left us to hopefully make the decision between a mother’s health and babies life. Of course, my instinct was baby. I asked Matthew he couldn't answer but I knew the look in his eyes and what it meant.

Matthew and I needed the connection we needed family we needed his son my beautiful bonus son. And they all answered it was the silver lining in a fucked up time bonus sons’ hiccups had my near in tears he sounded just like his brother's little hiccups. He was so happy to see daddy and cag cag ( his name for me) his smile lit up my heart and I just felt love just for a little while everything was okay. But then I saw my face in the camera view I started to get pale, I got pale, I pushed to stay on the phone as I just wanted to hold onto hope and joy. But then I fell behind Matthew and passed out in pain.

Not 2 hours later the choice was taken away I started to cramp, it came on thick and fast. The most intense pain I’ve ever felt. Whole-body convulsions I was rolling over and over again punching things screaming a primal scream that I didn’t recognize.

It was a blur from there for me the one memory I do have was Matthew pressing the buzzer furiously running up and down the halls trying to find someone to help finally they took a preemptive blood test ordered by a midwife. And then the morphine injection.

I had never seen my partner so angry so bossy, so in control. The young midwife just kept asking if I was ready.

Matthew lost it and said just do it she can’t talk she’s in pain just do it!

That injection felt like it went through my entire thigh through the other side. Matthew stated that the way I pulled away I nearly snapped the needle off into my thigh.

But then it’s was a blur I do recall the midwife coming in and stating there was an infection that had set in but it was mild and there was still hope.

We were moved to the assessment centre not long later.

Matthew passed out on the couch I was high as a kite on morphine and I just wanted cuddles and he said cass I need rest.

I spent much of my time with the international midwives guessing their accents apparently I did well. Then in passed out from being so tired.

Sleep evaded me as I discovered that morphine started to make me hallucinate. I was having night terrors quite frequently.

Finally, the morphine wore off and then the hunger kicked in

The midwife offered me the Doppler I said there’s no point it’s too painful.

Upon reflection he must have passed at this point as the vegemite craving kicked in all I wanted was a strong desire for vegemite sandwiches.

Then the moment came, the pain was starting to settle in but I was denied pain killers as I had to be clear-headed to sign my consent to induction.

One of the most delirious moments of my life one of trauma and sadness and even though this is just so new I still feel like I sentenced my darling Boy to death. I screamed I yelled I cried, I punched the bed. The pain started to set in again

Matthew said please let me sign it but as it was my body I had to.

I just couldn't do it I couldn't terminate my miracle child the child I was told I could never have conceived naturally.

Then Matt held me tight he begged and begged and cried he said you promised. bubs is gone I can’t lose both of you.

HROB just got frank she said I need to go but your choice is you sign this piece of paper or instead of losing one life we are losing two.

It took everything in me to go against every human value I hold dear but I signed.

I was then given more endone so I could relax.

I was rushed to the birthing suite by wheelchair, I couldn't stand on my own two feet let alone walk.

It was a fast process they said you have time for lunch so ordered as many dumplings as I desired. They came at me with that fucking canula again 3 pokes later I said go away I do not give you consent to touch me if I have to have IV antibiotics for 48 hours I will not spend it crying from a nasty painful IV

the dumplings arrived and they said it’s time hop on the bed we are inducing you. They said you will have plenty of time to eat. 3 times the usual dose they said we will increase the dose again in 3 hours.

I started on the dumplings I had been craving all day. I had 3

The pain came on thick, fast and nasty.

First was an endone tablet it worked as well as panadol. Then I was given the gas it worked for about the first 3 contractions they were not very far apart. I was right side up to upside down there was no comfortable position. The gas was just making me giddy and slowed my breathing I started getting angry all I wanted was time to eat I was starving. I pulled my shoulder trying to rip the bed rail off the bed. And then after a little, while I was ready I have no idea if I was dilated to the full but the midwife set the toilet up so I could sit and relax and push and there were towels to catch baby I had the gas and I had to be forced to take breathes as I just wanted to be high. I looked at myself in the mirror I looked tired but I could still see the strength in myself. Then the last few contractions hit and he didn't take long.

Bubs was breech and I cannot describe the feeling of giving birth there are no words.

I was moved to the bed to relax and give the final push it took mere seconds and he was out

The most heartwarming words came out of Matthews's mouth. Cassie, it’s a boy

High from the gas, I had a short break and then got to hold my darling boy in my arms

There are no words for the love I felt

Matthew and I looked at each other and said it’s our little Chester.

#birth story #stillborn #child death tw #controversial #pregnancy

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