#my dad's living theater troop

[bea-lele-carmen]

[layce2015]

The Boys (Soldier Boy x Female!Supe!Reader)

Chapter 2: The Only Man In The Sky

Chapter 1/ Next Chapter

"You sure you wanna go see her?" Bethany asked me after I called her on the phone the next day. "Not really but...it must be important if she's contacting me." I said. "I'm not sure if I like it." Bethany said and I giggled. "I'll be okay, Mom." I laughed, sarcastically. "Hey, I know you can handle yourself but...I still worry." Bethany said. "I appreciate it." I said as I pace along the living room.

*3rd Person POV*

M.M. hears a knocking at his door and he goes to answer it. He opens it and sees Butcher standing there, his hands behind his back, and he lets out a sigh. “All right, mate?” Butcher asked him and Janine, M.M.’s daughter comes up next to her father. “Bloody hell, Janine. You shot up. You remember your Uncle Billy, don't you?” He asked and the girl stares at him before nodding, slightly.

”Here. I got this for you.” Butcher said as he pulls out a box of a Lego set of Vought tower. “You and your dad can build it together. 523 pieces of family fun.” Butcher said and M.M. glares at him.

Later, Janine starts on working on the Lego set while Butcher and M.M. talk. “Okay, one, you don't just pop up here. You call first. And, two, eff Soldier Boy. I don't give a mothereffin' doo-doo how he checked out.” M.M. argued. “Ah, bollocks. He didn't die like no hero. I'll wager he went out on his knees, begging like a right cսոt.” Butcher said. “What the f...” M.M. grumbles then he exhales a she gesture to his daughter, who heard them. “Sorry, love.” Butcher tells her then he continues to talk, quietly.

”Look, if there's a weapon out there that killed Soldier Boy, then it can kill Homelander. And that's got to be worth something. Now, we're working our way through his old team. Frenchie and Kimiko are starting with the Crimson Countess, and I'm gonna hit up Gunpowder and Mystic Shade.” Butcher said. “Sounds like you got everything covered.” M.M. said. “This ain't just anyone. It's Soldier Boy. You could close the book on him once and for all. For your dad. Your family.” Butcher said.

”Fuck off with that shit.” M.M. growls then he starts to breath, heavily, before he continues. “My father died hunched over a desk, obsessing over a dead man, while he was ignoring his two living children. And I almost did the same thing to her.” M.M. said as he gestures to his daughter and Butcher looks over at her then back at his old friend.

”Thanks for coming by.” M.M. said and Butcher sighs. “You're doing a bang-up job with her, mate.” Butcher said and he goes to leave but then M.M. sighs. “Butcher, hold on a second. I might have one thing.” He said then he goes to his room and into his closet and pulls out a file that his father had on Soldier Boy.

Meanwhile, (y/n) and Bethany enter Voughtland and see all the kids running around, laughing and screaming, as their parents try to keep up with them or buy them the overpriced food and merchandise. “It’s crazy here.” Bethany said as her and (y/n), who was wearing jeans and a hoodie with the hood up, walk along the park. “Yeah, Vought has gone more chaotic with The Seven than they did with Payback.” (Y/n) mutters as they walk. 

“You jealous?” Bethany asked her and (y/n) scoffs. “Fuck no.” She said and Bethany laughs as they go to the theater, where there was a poster that advertised the showing of Soldier Boy’s life. (Y/n) stops and stares at it as a memory pops up in her head.

Flashback

*(y/n)’s POV*

It had been months since Ben and I were sent overseas with the army to help out what we could. But we also did some film and photography for Vought as they brought a filmmaker and a photographer to get us to recreate certain moments of the war. And in between those moments or fights, Ben and I got to know each other a bit better. He was a bit cocky and full of himself and a bit rude but…he had this charm about him that I was attracted to.

And now the war was finally over and all the surviving troops were celebrating as was everyone around the world. Ben and I were sitting at the busy bar as the troops were cheering, laughing, singing and talking loudly as they all drink copious amount of beer.

I smiled at the scene, feeling relieved that this mess was all behind us. But I was also feeling dread as that meant I had to go back to my bastard of a husband. “You good?” Ben’s voice asked and I shake myself out of my thoughts and look over at him. “Yeah…just…” I laugh a bit softly. “Just still surprised that it is over.” 

“You don’t sound very thrilled about it.” Ben points out. “No, I’m happy it’s over. I just…” I then trail off. “You don’t want to go back home?” Ben asked me and I sighed. “Is it that obvious?” I asked him. “Yeah…” he said and I turn my head to look at him. “You know, we’ve been getting to know each other these last few months and you still haven’t told me about…Adam, was it?” Ben asked and I sighed as I take another long sip of my beer.

”Well, I’m sure you know my backstory is a load of garbage. I wasn’t born with these powers…they were forced upon me.” I explained as Ben listens to me. “My darling husband…” I sneered before I continued. “…he faked a doctor’s appointment for me when really it was for me to get a shot of Compound V and get these powers.”

Ben’s eyes widen at this then it furrows in anger. “He what?” He asked me and I scoff out a small laugh at this. “Yeah, right ol’ bastard. I wanted to divorce him when I found out but…” I stopped then take another drink. “He basically told me I couldn’t do that, be it would ruin my career before it even began.” I added and Ben did look angry after I explained.

”That son of a bitch. I should go have a word with him when we get back.” Ben said and I place a hand on his arm. “No, don’t.” I plead to him. “Why?” He asked me. “I’ve seen what happens when you have a word with people. It would just make everything worse. Besides, I don’t want to put you in any trouble.” I said and Ben raise an eyebrow at me.

“Look, let’s just enjoy this night and not worry about my failing marriage.” I said and he gives me this look then sighs. “Fine.” He mutters as he takes a sip of his beer. The rest of the night went uneventful as we enjoyed the party until it was time to get ready to head back home.

But once we got home and saw the press just swarming the airport to mainly get to me and Ben, Ben did something I was not expecting. Once we got off the plane, we waved at the press as they took many pictures and the people from the news report came out to film us. Then Ben turns to me, takes my chin to make me look at him then kissed me right there in front of God and everyone.

I hear the crowd go absolutely crazy but I was too stunned and shocked at what just happened and what is happening. And the terrible thing is I didn’t want it to end, this was honestly the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life. And even though there was a part of my mind that was screaming at me to tell Ben to stop, to push him away, I couldn’t bring myself to do that.

So, I kissed him back and I could tell that is what he wanted me to do as I feel his lips curl up into a smile as we continued to kiss. Moments later, we break the kiss and I felt breathless once his lips were away from mine and I raise my eyes to look at him and he gives me that damn flirty grin I’ve come to like so much.

”Maybe that’ll help with your little problem.” He mutters to me before he winks then turns to the crowd as he puts an arm around my shoulders and waves at them. I stood there and I’m sure I just looked mystified and confused because my mind was running for miles as I realized what he just did.

And I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

“What the hell is this?!” Adam asked me as he holds up the paper the next morning. “What’s what?” I asked him. I was sitting at the table in the little kitchen area of my room at Vought Tower and Adam just came in after going out to get the paper. He slams the paper down on the table in front of me and the first thing I saw was a photo of me and Ben kissing. And the title reading: America’s Newest Sweethearts?

”How long?” Adam asked me, angrily. “How long what?” I asked him. “Don’t play dumb! Now, tell me the truth, how long have you been fucking him behind my back?!” Adam asked me and I stare at him, stunned. “Are you crazy?! I mean, is that what you actually think of me?!” I asked him then he slams his hands on the table again.

”I’ve seen the way you look at him! And I know you’re still angry with me for what I did but I never thought you’d go this low!” He yells. “Because I wouldn’t! That kiss was something Ben came up all on his own. I didn’t expect it!” I argued. “And yet, from what I heard, you didn’t reject it!” Adam shouted and I glared at him.

“It’s just a publicity stunt! To make the people go crazy, okay! It’s for the money, get over it!” I spat at him and he looks at me surprised. “Are you serious?” He asked me. “What? I thought this was what you wanted. Me being a Supe to make money for us. You know how Vought works. They’ll do anything to gain the public’s approval.” I sneered and he huffs at me.

Then he turns and starts to walk out. “Where the hell you going?” I asked him. “Out.” Adam growls as he slams the door and I scoff.

*3rd Person POV*

Ben was walking towards his room in Vought Tower, seething with anger. He had just been to see his father and showed off him being the hero. But he didn’t get the hero’s welcome he expected from his father. His father told him he wasn’t a real man, that he took a shortcut and told him he was a disappointment, probably one of the worst things a father could say to their child.

He heard a door slam but he ignored it as he makes it to the door of his room. He goes to unlock the door when he heard stomping footsteps then a voice calls out to him, in an angry tone. “You!” The voice said and Ben shuts his eyes for a moment, really not in the mood to deal with anyone.

”Look, Buddy…” Ben started to say as he looks over and sees it is Adam that is coming towards him. Adam then grabs him by the collar of his shirt then slams him up against the wall. “You son of a bitch! You think you can take her away from me!” Adam shouts at Ben. “I’m only gonna say this once, cocksucker. If you still want your teeth, then I suggest you let go and back away from me.” Ben threatens, in a low calm voice. 

But Adam wasn’t having it. “What gives you the right to kiss (y/n) when you know she’s my wife?!” Adam asked him. “You could have any woman you want, but you go and kiss her! You can’t have (y/n), she’s mine!” 

“You know what I think? I think a piece of shit like you doesn’t deserve a woman like (y/n)!” Ben growls as the sound of a door opening was heard. “And you do?!” Adam asked as hurried footsteps come up and Ben grabs Adam’s hands and shoves him towards the other side of the hall.

”Boys, stop!” (Y/n)’s voice shrieks as she gets in between the boys. Ben was about to walk towards Adam, who continued to glare at him, but (y/n) turns to Ben. “Ben, Ben, Ben….hey, hey, look at me…look at me…” she said as Ben death stared at Adam but then he looks over at (y/n).

For some weird reason, just looking at her calmed him down a little as she places her hands on his shoulder. “Ben? Since when were you two on a first name basis?” Adam asked (y/n), upset, and she turns to face him. “What does that matter? Just be grateful I’m not letting him beat you to a pulp right now!” She exclaims as she glares at her husband. The two stare at each other for a few silence moments before Adam sighs.

”You know what, (y/n)? You’re gonna get your wish.” Adam said then he walks off and (y/n) lets out a sigh before she turns to Ben, who is about to enter his room. “Ben, I am so sorry…” she started to say but Ben shakes his head. “I’m not trying to be an asshole but I really don’t want to talk right now, (y/n).” Ben grumbles and he enters his room and shuts the door.

(y/n) frowns at this as her heart felt broken then she makes her way back to her room. She shuts the door and started to burst into tears, letting out the emotions she didn’t know she was holding in. She wipes her eyes then looks over at the cabinet that held some bourbon.

She normally doesn’t drink a lot but the whole bottle of bourbon was sounding good right now. So she goes to the cabinet, grabs the bottle and begins to drink from it.

Present Day

(Y/n) continued to stare at the poster until Bethany comes up to her and places a hand on her arm. “(Y/n)?” She said and (y/n) pulls out of her thoughts and looks over at her friend. “You ready?” She asked and (y/n) sighs. “Not really…but let’s do it.” She said and they head inside the theater as does Frenchie and Kimiko.

They get inside and take a seat and Bethany pats her friend’s shoulder. “You sure you’re gonna be okay seeing this?” She asked (y/n). “I think so.” (Y/n) mutters, unsure. The lights start to dim and the screen comes on as it starts to play the film.

"Soldier Boy grew up in the birthplace of American liberty. Born poor on the mean streets of South Philadelphia, he learned the values of hard work, tenacity and bravery. He used those values to prove America's exceptionalism to the world." The narrator of the film said as it shows various pictures of Soldier Boy's life. Then it shows a clip of Soldier Boy in the trenches with the American soldiers.

"Okay, boys, let's give these Krauts some hell." Soldier Boy said and he leads the men on out into the battlefield. (Y/n) bites her lips as she remembers those days. "He and his partner, Mystic Shade, defended us against the encroaching Red Menace." The narrator said as it goes to another clip and shows Soldier Boy and (y/n) in the Congress, which takes (y/n) by surprise as she sees herself sitting next to Soldier Boy. "Congress, we have a list right here of avowed Communists." He said as he holds up a file.

"He helped guide America into a brighter future, and along the way, he found the love of a good woman..." the narrator said as it shows Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade, their arms around each other and a smile on their faces. (Y/n) lets out a heavy sigh and Bethany turns to her and places an arm around her. She gives her a concerned look but (y/n) nods, assuredly.

"...which made his sacrifice all the more noble, when he gave his life saving us from a nuclear holocaust." The narrator said as it shows a melted down nuclear power plant. Then the screen goes black. "Please join us in saluting Soldier Boy." The narrator said and there was scattered applause. 

Then a spotlight comes on and the screen slides up to reveal Crimson Countess walk out onto the stage and begins to sing. “Fuckin’ hell.” (Y/n) grumbles, annoyed.

When the night was dark

And the dawn was cold

From sea to shining sea and mountains' majesty 

He did it all For the red, white and the bold

'Cause he's America's son

As she sings, she brings her hands together and uses her power to shootout the red ball of energy she makes. It goes flying over head and the ball of energy explodes and engulfs the room in red light as Countess continues to sing.

A shining beacon of freedom

He's America's son

After the show, Countess was in her dressing room and was crushing up some pills as the door opens. "At your request, Countess." The voice of her manager said and Countess looks up at her mirror and sees the familiar face of her old partner. "Well, well, well, never thought I'd see you here, Misty." Countess said with a smile as (y/n) pulls back her hoodie.

"I mean, you're basically a recluse. Some people even think you're dead." Countess taunts as (y/n) glares at her. "What do you want, Crimson?" She asked as she folds her arms across her chest. Countess turns in her seat to look at her. "Can't I say hi to an old friend?" Countess asked. "You and I are nowhere near close enough to be considered friends." (Y/n) sneered and Countess gives a fake offended look.

"Oh, my dear, Misty...." Countess said, dramatically, and (y/n) rolled her eyes at this. She always hated it when Countess called her this name, it irritated her to no end which she figured that's why Countess does that. "Are you still mad that Ben and I dated?" Countess asked her. "I don't know...you mad that he dumped you to get back together with me?" (Y/n) asked, snarky, and Countess drops the act.

"No, actually. I really don't give a fuck." Countess said as she goes back to her table then starts to inhale some of the crushed up pills she made. "But I will say one good thing about him, he was great in the sack." Countess said and (y/n) rolls her eyes.

"Why the hell am I here, Countess?" (Y/n) asked and Countess turns to her. "Well, seems like that whole Girls Get It Done shit has been a big deal lately. And I figured maybe get us girls back together from the old team." Crimson said and (y/n) glares at her.

"You know, you, me and Tessa. We could show those bitches in The Seven who the real female heroes are." Crimson said and (y/n) shakes her head. "Not just no but fuck no!" (Y/n) said and Crimson was taken aback. "Well, why not? I mean, clearly you're not doing anything! Tessa and Thomas are apparently gonna host Herogasm here in a few days and of course I've had a music career." Crimson said. "And I like it that way. I got out of Payback for a reason, Countess!" (Y/n) shouts.

"Yeah because you were becoming a washed up Supe and Ben isn't around to fuck you senseless like the dirty whore you really are!" Crimson accused and (y/n) snaps as she waves her hand and Crimson goes flying back and hits the wall, hard. (Y/n) starts to breath heavily as she glares daggers at her old partner until she looks down at her hand, which was shaking.

"You can never even begin to THINK what I've been through the last forty years!" (Y/n) growls as she glares at Crimson, who gets up. "Oh boo-hoo, you're boyfriend died and now you live all alone in some farmhouse in Kansas. Get the fuck over yourself, Misty." Crimson sneers. "Fuck you!" (Y/n) spat and the two women continue to glare at each other before (y/n) turns and heads for the door.

"Go fuck a chimp, Crimson." (Y/n) spat and she slams the door behind her, puts her hood up and walks out of the room and down the hall, passing by Frenchie and Kimiko as they get ready for their visit with Crimson Countess.

After dusting herself off of the confrontation,  Countess goes to sit by her dressing table and gathers up more pills and crushes them. "Next!" Countess shouts as she goes to snort up the crushed up drugs and exhales as the door opens, Kimiko and Frenchie enter her room. "You seem a little old for the Countess Tea Package." Countess said once she looks up and notices them. "We're young at heart." Frenchie said as Kimiko comes up to Countess and holds up her phone to show her what she typed.

I like your music

"Oh, sweetie. Can't you talk?" Countess asked Kimiko after she read her message. Kimiko shakes her head, shyly, and Countess smiles at her. "Would you like to hear something new?" She asked her and Kimiko nods. "Okay." Countess said and she leads Kimiko to her laptop to bring up a music video while Frenchie is looking around the room.

Chimps don't cry

No, chimps

Don't cry... 

"You know that chimps are physically incapable of crying? But that doesn't mean they're not crying on the inside." Countess said, dramatically, and she goes to look at the video while Kimiko turns to Frenchie and begins to sign language to him.

She's nice.

She's nuts! 

No, she's not.

Let's get it over with!

Fine.

Kimiko then turns to Countess and grabs her. "Wh-What are you..." Countess shouts when Kimiko slams her up against the wall. "Wh-What are you...Ow!" Countess screams as Kimiko hits her. "Don't let her hands touch!" Frenchie shouts and Kimiko separates Countess' hands. "Ow! Let go of me, you bitch." Countess shouts as Frenchie comes up next to her while Kimiko holds her up against the wall.

"No fireball if your hands don't touch, oui? You stay quiet and relax. She will hurt you." Frenchie tells her. "What do you want?" Countess asked him. "We want to know about Soldier Boy." Frenchie said. "What the fսck do you care about Soldier Boy?" Countess asked, confused. "We want the truth about Soldier Boy, not the merde you've been giving us in your appalling show. How did he die? Who killed him? Talk." Frenchie demands.

"The show is the truth, mοthеrfսckеr." Countess said as there was another knock and the door opens as a kid and her parents come in. "He died a hero." Countess tells them just as they hear the family coming in.

Seizing the opportunity, Countess knocks Kimiko off of her then runs out of the room. Frenchie and Kimiko then chase after her as she runs out of the building and out into the park.

Countess shoves people out of the way then turns around to see Frenchie and Kimiko still gaining up on her. She stops, brings her hands together and shoots her fireball at the duo but they duck and the fireball hits the man in the Homelander costume, making blood and guts explode everywhere.

People and children began to scream but with some of the people near the mascot were protected by a force field. Frenchie and Kimiko jumped back at this as kids and adults scream, cry and run as does Countess.

Frenchie turns around and sees the white hoodie woman again, her arms were stuck out in front of her. They share a look before the woman lowers her arms and runs the opposite direction and it suddenly clicked with him who she was. "Putain de merde! That was Mystic Shade!" Frenchie said as Kimiko looks in time to see the woman run then signs at him.

Should we go after her?

"Butcher said he was gonna deal with her." Frenchie said as he takes her arm and Kimiko looks around to see a few kids still looking frighten and distraught at the man in the Homelander mascot costume, or what was left of him, before she and Frenchie leave the park.

*(y/n)’s POV*

Bethany pulls up to my house as I sigh. “You okay?” She asked me, for what had to be the hundredth time. “Yes, I’m fine. Just…wasn’t expecting any of that.” I said. “It looked like she was attacking those two people. Did you see them?” Bethany asked me and I nod.

“But I don’t know why. That’s what’s bugging me.” I said as I think. “Well, I’ll talk to you later.” I said as I get out of her car. “Okay…” Bethany said as I shut her car door and head into my house.

I entered the house and give a sigh of relief before I head to the kitchen. “You have a lovely house.” A male voice, with a cockney accent, greets and I jumped a bit to see a man with black hair, a beard, jeans, black shirt and a long black leather jacket, sitting at my kitchen table.

”Who the hell are you?” I asked him, angrily. “Billy Butcher, love.” He introduces as he nods to me and I realized this is the man that Maeve told me she was working with on capturing out of control Supes. “I just thought I’d pop by and ask you a few questions.” Butcher asked me as I go over to my liquor cabinet and take out a bottle of whiskey.

”I thought I told Maeve that I didn’t want to be bothered.” I said with a growl as I grab a couple of glasses. “She did tell me that but…I thought different.” Butcher tells me and I glare over at him. “So, from what I understand, you and Soldier Boy were close, right?” Butcher asked me and I begin to pour a glass of whiskey. “Okay, to save you time, yes, Soldier Boy and I were a thing. We had been on and off through out the years. In hindsight, we kept breaking up because of just stupid petty stuff but he would always find a way to win me back. Anything else you want me to answer, re-read that file I gave to Maeve.” I tell him.

”Well, before I go, there’s something I want you to elaborate on.” He said and I sighed, realizing this man is not gonna leave, and I pick up the second glass. “Would you like a drink?” I asked him as I hold up the whiskey bottle. “Oh, how very courteous of you.” Butcher said, in a bit of a surprised tone.

”Just being a good host, even if you were a surprise guest.” I said as I pour him a drink. Then I pick up my glass and his glass and I walk over to the table and hand him his glass. “Thank you.” He said and he takes a sip.

”Maeve’s told me about your rivalry with Homelander and how you think all Supes are bad. But I will tell you this, Mr Butcher, not all of us are like Homelander. I know you don’t want to hear it but it’s the truth. All I want is to live a normal life and put that life behind me.” I said and Butcher rolls his eyes towards the ceiling. “I appreciate your honesty, but it’s the actions of many of those cunts against your word that makes it hard to believe you.” He replied.

”Believe whatever you want, Mr Butcher. As for me, all I want is to be left alone.” I said, taking a sip of my whiskey. “You know I visited your old teammate, Gunpowder.” Butcher said and I lowered my glass, glaring at him. “And let’s just say, things didn’t go well.” Butcher said and I feel my heart sink. “Did you kill him?” I asked him and he nods.

I gasped and closed my eyes as I turn my head away. “Not the response I expected…” Butcher said and I turned back to him. “He was a kid when he joined the team. Poor boy.” I said, sadly. “Huh? See, I heard you didn’t really like any of your teammates.” Butcher said. “Yes, some of them I didn’t get along with but Gunpowder was just an eager kid, trying to prove himself. I looked after him, made sure he didn’t fall down the same rabbit hole a lot of young Supes do.” I said. 

“And yet, he put in a complaint about Soldier Boy’s abuse.” Butcher tells me. “I did the best I could with Soldier Boy. He would get in a few hits on Gunpowder but I always intervened if I saw he was about to go overboard.” I said as Butcher takes a swig at his drink.

”And did he ever abuse you?” He asked me. “No! He never did.” I replied, firmly. There was a long bit of silence between us before I go back to my drink. “Look, all I want to know is what happened to him? How did he die? Because I know that crap Vought pushed out is a load of bullocks.” Butcher said and I sighed.

”If I tell you what I know, will you leave me alone?” I asked him and Butcher stares at me then nods. “I don’t know what killed him. I was knocked out and when I came to, the others told me he was killed. We were in Nicaragua, '84, working with the CIA.” I said and Butcher furrowed his brow. “CIA?” He said, confused, and I nodded. “Who was the case officer?” Butcher asked me and I had to think. “Oh, fuck, what was her name….uh, Grace? Uh, Grace...Grace Mallory, that’s it!” I said, snapped my finger, and Butcher looked surprised by this.

”Judging by the look on your face, I’m guessing you know her?” I asked him. “Yes, yes, I do.” He said, determined, and he gets up from his chair. “Thank you for the drink and the talk. As promised, I will leave you be.” Butcher said and he leaves the kitchen then walks out the front door of my house.

I let out a sigh of relief and run my hands over my eyes. “What a fucking day.” I grumbled.

That night, I was cleaning up Ben’s old shield as I had the TV playing, which is broadcasting Homelander’s birthday. I didn’t really give a shit but I needed something playing in the background. “So let's give it up for Starlight and the man of the hour himself, Homelander!” A-Train said, who was wearing this colorful version of his old suit. I guess from the colors he is representing Africa; which from what Maeve told me about him, he is the last person to do something like this.

Music plays and cheers were heard as Starlight and Homelander go on stage as Homelander and A-Train shake hands then he leaves. “Wow, I'm so honored to be with you guys tonight to celebrate my dear friend and mentor Homelander. I'm here to do more than wish you a happy birthday, though. I'm thrilled to be announcing a project that is near and dear to my heart.” Starlight said and I snort as her saying Homelander is her mentor.

Yeah, I bet he is. I thought as I finished polishing the shield then look up at the TV.  “The Starlight House is a nonprofit foundation dedicated to helping homeless and at-risk youth.” Starlight starts to explain until a voice shouts. “Hey, Homelander! Your Nazi died!”

”Well, damn.” I muttered as the crowd murmurs. “Homelander...He's just, he's a human. He's just like the rest of us. And we all make mistakes, right? But we all deserve second chances. In that spirit, Homelander has agreed to donate $10 million...” Starlight said then she laughs softly. “…to the Starlight House, which is, I mean...” she said and there was applause then Homelander says. “No.”

”Give...Come on. Give it up.” Starlight said as Homelander shakes his head. “No.” He said. “Give it up for this guy.” Starlight said as she was trying to control the situation but Homelander looked like he was done. “No. No. No.” Homelander said and the applause stops and the crowd goes quiet. “Starlight lied to you just now. She did. I don't make mistakes. I'm not just like the rest of you. I'm stronger. I'm smarter. I'm better. I am better. I'm not some weak-kneed fսcking crybaby that goes around fսcking apologizing all the time. And why the fսck would you want me to be?” Homelander said then he looks straight at the camera.

“Don't you dare stop rolling, Roger!” He shouts and I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This man is losing his mind. “All my life, people have tried to control me. My whole life. Rich people, powerful people have tried to muzzle me, cancel me, keep me impotent and obedient, like I'm a fսcking puppet. You know what? It worked. Because I allowed it to work. And guess what? If they can control me, then you can bet your ass they can control you. They already do. You just don't realize it.” Homelander said and I nod a bit as I was kinda agreeing with him there.

”I'm done. I am done apologizing. I am done being persecuted for my strength. You people should be thanking Christ that I am who and what I am, because you need me. You need me to save you. You do. I am the only one who possibly can. You're not the real heroes. I'm the real hero. I'm the real hero.” He said and the whole place stays silent and I shake my head. “And you lost me, crazy asshole.” I muttered and I shut my TV off.

@winchestergirl1720 @deans-spinster-witch @mimaria420 @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @kitsun369 @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @deangirl96 @demodemo909

[rothjuje]

I keep having two recurring thoughts lately.

1) What was it like to be primary parent before the internet? I feel so connected to the parent community through this moms’ group (which would be nearly impossible without the internet, we have 3 social media pages and a website where we process membership fees and sell tickets to our events), and almost everything else going on in our community I discover through Facebook. I’m starting a new Girl Scout chapter in our area and I’m doing that through their website and connecting with other interested moms through various Facebook groups.

But my mom did all this stuff without a computer and without a smart phone. She was a troop leader and was part of a babysitting co-op and was always connected in our community growing up. I guess she just made a lot of phone calls from our single house phone. No one talks about this anymore, but I so remember waiting until my dad was off the phone so I could use it and the luxury of getting a second phone line in junior high. I remember calling popcorn to know what time it was because our clocks were never accurate. I remember calling the movie theaters to check showtimes. And the newspaper. Man, I don’t remember the last time I saw one of those.

2) I also keep thinking about how functional I am as a person these days, I’m doing so much and getting so much done and I keep wondering why it wasn’t this way for so long. Sleep. Sleep is the answer. I didn’t sleep much when I was on hormones while ttc, didn’t sleep much going through IVF or while pregnant with twins, and they both didn’t sleep through the night until very recently. June? July? I look back at that period of sleep deprivation and dang. That’s a rough way to live. I was sleeping probably 5 hours (sometimes more, sometimes less) a night for four years. I really need 7 to function my best the next day. But I was held to the same expectations as someone not up half the night with littles that couldn’t or wouldn’t sleep. I just can’t picture doing it again.

[spectres-fulcrum]

But no, about my deep dive into the wayback machine. There’s been this whole ado lately about misogynistic men saying “female fans mostly aren’t real fans” and “those who like Disney era SW just want a strong female lead.” And it’s kraytspit, of course. But it also gets me thinking about how I’ve lived and breathed Star Wars since I was 7.

How Mom started me with Episode I and I just asked “where is Darth Vader” so we actually started with IV and it’s funny that in the end I liked the prequels more. My sister worked at Burger King and got all the kids meal Episode 3 toys for us and I spent hours playing with them and rearranging them on the shelf and I still won’t let them be thrown away.

How mom read Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest to me. The way we stumbled across Secrets of the Jedi at my aunt’s local library and it felt like discovering treasure and we had to read the entire book before our vacation ended. Finding favorites in the series and checking them out over and over to read on my own-school library, local library. Mom read me Junior Jedi Knights and I met Han and Leia’s son for the first time. Grew up a bit, read Young Jedi Knights on my own. Remember reading the Emperor’s Plague while my girl scout troop was on an archery field trip. Checked out the Episode I visual Dictionary from my local library a hundred times. And Amidala’s Journal.

I grew up watching the OG Clone Wars. One of the first video games I owned was the Episode III plug in and play game. I had it in 2nd grade when I got the flu and my dad and I played it a ton. My friend would come over just to play it and I resorted to hiding it in my closet.

Went to SW.com a lot. I remembering playing the coloring book, a picture of Padme in the meadow in AotC. The Who Said It was my mine and my mom’s thing. There was a section of question and answers on every movie and I loved it so much. Leia’s wookieepedia page was the first wookieepedia page I ever read and I was so amazed by how detailed it was.

I remember giggling too loudly at Rotta the huttling when I was ten and he was so tiny and cute for a huttling in the movie theater. The Clone wars was my preteens-stupid hatred for Satine, cute butterflies for Luxsoka, etc.

I remember QuizUp being The Thing in early high school and living in the Star Wars category cause where else would I be?

And then, it all stopped. The old EU was no longer canon and so much of what I grew up with I held my breath to see. What it would trample over. I still don’t think I’ve read anything with the Solo kids-the real Solo kids- since then. Maybe very early on. Not since TFA for sure. Meanwhile I can’t bring myself to read new Jedi Apprentice era stuff. Like it’s odd.

Off topic. But point is. That’s not getting into the fandom side of things. Point is. I’ve lived and breathed this series since I was seven. I grew up on it. If some dude ever claimed I wasn’t a real fan I’d laugh in their faces. But no one should be accused of it simple because of their gender. And cause it’s being thrown about I’ve been thinking about my roots a lot.

I think the real point of this tho is I’ve always been a books and cartoons>movies Star Wars girlie.

[whatyourusherthinks]

Let's Start With Context.

Before we get into actual reviews and opinions, let's start with why this blog exists, who I am, and why I decided to see almost every movies that comes out this year.

Why does this blog exist?

This blog exists to help excise opinions from my mind. I'll be honest, I don't expect anyone read these reviews much less actually care about my opinions. But screaming into the void is a fun past time.

Who am I?

My name is Roan, I work as a server in a local theater chain. It's like a theater where you can order food at your seat. (Yeah yeah, the blog title says usher but let's be real What Your Server Thinks doesn't let you know I work at a theater as well.) The rest of this section is just gonna be me describing myself in order to establish my perspective so if you don't care move on to the next section.

I am white. I am nonbinary, born male. I am pansexual. I was born into and maintain living as a middle class American. And I've never been anywhere outside of America. I live in the Midwest. I am a member of Generation Z according to the first university that popped up on Google. I am a self-described punk. I am politically liberal. (Like intensely so, don't get me started.) I hate Capitalism but also can't live anywhere else in the world. I support the troops but hate the military industrial complex. I am an atheist, but work hard to not make that my entire personality. I like rock and punk music. I have a good relationship with both my parents. I was not popular in school. My dad introduced me to most my hobbies. My favorite types of movies are superhero, monster, and sci-fi movies. My favorite movie is Shazam! from 2018. I am a self-described nerd. I read comics and play tabletop games. I am an amateur game designer. Uhhhh.... I'm scared of dogs...

Why did I decide to see every* movie that comes out in 2024?

Basically because I can. As a benefit for my job, I am allowed to see one movie a week. But my managers do not care if people break the "once a week" rule, so as an anarchist corporate drone I feel it is my duty to exploit this lack of caring. Also my social life outside of work kinda imploded in 2023, so I don't really have anything better to do.

Finally, let's disabuse some notions.

For starters, I am not a professional film critic. I have not studied film beyond watching YouTube videos. I do not know the first thing about making film and don't really have an interest in learning. I mostly look at films from the perspective of the layman, because I am a layman. Additionally, I swear a lot. I make some inappropriate jokes. I make nihilistic jokes. I occasionally make jokes about committing suicide. I do not intend offend and work to avoid such, but I also do not take steps to remove my politics from my reviews, and use my beliefs and opinions to inform them. If this will be a problem for you, do not engage with my reviews. You will not enjoy them and I do not care if you get upset. As a final note, I do not plan to have any consistent upload schedule. I will post my reviews when I write them. As I cannot see movies for free the weekend they open, I will not be able to get any reviews out before the majority of people see the movie, so don't come looking for purchase advice unless you are okay with seeing movies weeks after they come out.

One last note: Spoiler policy!

Like pretty much everything else, I am not going to stress too much about spoilers. I don't like spoiling movies if I feel like the experience is worth while, so I wouldn't spoil a plot twist in a good movie. But other times I need to make a point and I will not hesitate to spoil. Basically if I am going to recommend the movie, I'm less likely to spoil the movie.

[downtoplaybass]

>yeah... i think in pretty much any other timeline im doing that. i came pretty close to going to kamikou instead of miya for a miriyad of reasons and uh... little embarrassing but i was very opposed to speaking to any of my now-girlfriends at the time. self-isolating due to guilt or whatever the therapist said. two or three minor descicion changes and im spending all my time on vivid street.either that or id be an idol... not the biggest fan of that one, given how its fucked up shizuku mentally, but logically it makes sense. kiratani told me about how they scouted her and taught her to get rid of her resting bitch face; they tried to scout me as shizukus sister and theyd probably do something similar with me. i dunno.

ahh, i see... but if being an idol didnt flip you up the way it did to haruka and shizuku, would you try it? Do you think you would be happier if you'd went to kamikou instead? you dont have to answer these!! ooh, but i do have one question! if kamikou and miya became one big big big school with ALLLLLL your friends in it, would you attend that school?

— 🎐

uh, i dunno. i think a big part of being an idol, living that idol life, is the getting fucked mentally. im also not exactly the most flowery person or whatever. id probably get written off as a tomboy or be the "guy's girl" in a otherwise all-boy unit which isnt exactly something id enjoy all too much. im pretty sure someone tried to do the same thing to momoi-san, and she flipped out and quit on the spot. but then again, i might be more okay with that than regular idol stuff, yknow? and... sakis a big fan of idols. thinking back to how i was then... kinda feels bad to admit it, but i wouldve done pretty much anything to make the three of them jealous.

im not really sure how to quantify happiness. at first? yeah, i probably wouldve been better off at kamikou. avoiding people has always been my go-to solution but in the long run im probably better off where i am. it took those three to convince me to deal with emotions in a healthy way and i stil aquise that smashing a guitar is a healthy way to deal with emotions but apparently its "violent and rage-induced" or something. and would i have a sekai if id never made up properly with them? it took meiko and len to get me to open up properly to shizuku and get us to where we are now. i thought i was fine with it but it honestly took a lot of late-night chats with luka to come to terms with the fact im gay. but on the other hand... ive seen vocaloids from a sekai belonging to vivid bad squad on here, and one that i thinks from sakis brothers theater troop. its not all that unlikely that i would end up with another sekai with a different group. theres always the chance i dont do anything to do with music and end up depressed or whatever but i really cant see that happening i think id just make depressed bass music. maybe miku doesnt like depressed music idk. this feels really wrong to say (especially given im dating the other members of my sekai) but i honestly would like to see those other timelines and sekais. is this the best timeline? is there a version of this where im replaced with someone else? is there a timeline where i went to standout properly? is this maybe the worst timeline and im scraping the bottom of the barrel? is there a timeline where imin the grand prix instead of onii-chan? theres a lot of questions to be had.

all i really know is i want to work with music. there isnt a timeline where i measure up to shizuku or dad in that regard. im pretty sure id always have a fragment sekai at least. i think meiko once said that my guilt and regret was on the verge of forming its own sekai, so thats... something. especially if i went to kamikou. that wouldve been an emotional shitshow. basically, i dont know shit.

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

OC Master List

Obviously if you’ve followed me for any length of time you will know that I have a really nasty habit of making characters of my own design. I love to be creative and make my own realities through this medium. It’s actually one of my favorite things to do. I’ve wanted to make this for a while because my friends sometimes get confused as to which OC that I’m talking about so this is the master list for everybody. 

My Hero Academia: If I have any fandom where most of my OCs go it’s into the MHA fandom. I have currently five OCs in this show so let’s talk about them one by one. 

Mitsuki Haruka: My first OC that I truly ever created and invented with the knowledge of doing it. Mitsu has a really special place in my heart because she was the first and the one that I work for the most in this fandom usually. Her comfort character is Katara from Avatar The Last Airbender. Her quirk is water. She can pretty much do anything with water. She can heat it, freeze it, glide around on it, whip it out of her and use something that I stole from Fairy Tail called waterlock where she locks a person inside of a body of water. Her canon partner is Tenya Iida my favorite square boi. I often talk about her with her adopted brother and my amazing friend @bio-hazard0us OC Kaku. 

Violet Katsuragi: Violet is one that I don’t really talk about in great detail a whole lot because every time I try to I cry. Her family is a massive shit show and I always feel so bad for making it that way.  I’m always like “My poor baby who is making you suffer so much-oh yeah it’s me sorry about that babe.” She is my “villain” OC. She is really only a member of the league so that she can stay close with her boyfriend and love of her life Twice (Jin). Her quirk is that she can control the plant tattoos that are on her arms by summoning them and using them in combat. Her comfort character is Mary Poppins because it reminds her of her older brother. Violet is an actress for a local community theater once the league disbands quietly. She and Jin also adopt Toga (a younger member of the villain league) as their own daughter to give her a second chance at life. I love her even though she’s the saddest backstory one that I have to work with it’s also the most fulfilling when I write fluff for her. 

Shizuko Kanade: Another absolute baby with a crappy home life. I’m sorry that I made it that way hun but it gets better for you I promise. Shizuko is my quirkless OC and my genius tech girl. She lives below her best friend and brother in arms Denki Kaminari and they’ve been best friends since they moved into the same building together. Her comfort character is PJ from the Goof franchise especially from Goof Troop that was her favorite show to watch with her aunt when she was growing up. She starts off really chubby, the cute kind of chubby but starts drastically dropping pounds in order for her parents to love and accept her. When they still don’t Denki has enough and talks to his mom and they decide to call the police and foster Shizuko into their own home. They get a restraining order against her biological family and my best girl gets a happy home. She wants to be the first quirkless hero to rely completely on support items. (She is also partnered with Shoji if anybody is curious.)

Arashi Mitsuha: This absolute baby, I love them. Ari is my gender fluid OC that I made who started off as just your everyday cis male but then I had an idea that spiraled from Ari in eyeliner to Ari in a skirt and then we wound up with the gender fluid absolute icon that they are today. Ari has a weather quirk. Basically anything involving weather they can do it with their eyes closed. Thunder and lightning storms, tsunamis, tornados but also snow and sunshine. They’re really OP and hella versatile it makes it more fun to write their fighting style. I paired them up with Denki in your stereotypical meet-cute scenario. In terms of backstory they just had a really bad ex-boyfriend before Denki came into their life like a literal speeding bullet. Their comfort character is Hedwig from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. 

Litzy Diaz: My last and FINAL MHA OC I promise you. Litzy is from a small town in Mexico and transferred to UA giving herself a second chance to start anew with her new friends and away from her toxic parents. She is fostered by Aizawa and Present Mic who have already adopted Shinsou so they are brother and sister in every way but blood. Her quirk was very heavily inspired by my love of Dr Facilier in Princess And The Frog. She can control shadows, shadow travel through things such as walls and she can control her friends on the other side basically demons from the underworld. Present Mic sees her as his long lost daughter and basically worships the ground that she walks on. He loves her more than anything in the entire world. Her comfort character is Miguel from Coco and La Muerte from Book Of Life. Her canon partner is Juso from Class B. 

DuckTales: I only have one DuckTales OC (thank the Gods) but she’s very special and important to me. I love the reboot of this show even if I’m way the hell behind on it (I promise I’ll catch up after Gravity Falls Donuts!!). 

Sabrina Duck: Sabrina is a sister for Huey, Dewey and Louie!! She shares the title of oldest quadruplet by thirty seconds and often took over the motherly role for her siblings when their mom wasn’t there. She was always reminding them to do their homework, regulated who got TV time and who was in charge of the delegated family movie night. This resulted in a rift between her and her brother Dewey that only got bigger overtime. School was really hard for her to deal with. She was never the best at paying attention during her classes and had a really bad sensory overload one day. She was really close with her uncle Ludwig though and he offered to teach her. They have a really special bond between the two of them that I love writing for. Sabrina was the person that grounded Ludwig to not think up as many crazy inventions. She also knits!! She loves knitting sweaters for her friends and family around the holidays. I am partnering her up with Gosalyn eventually. 

Star Vs The Forces Of Evil: To be perfectly honest with you guys, I have not seen the entire show. It’s really hard for me to get into it. Because when you only really love one character in the entire thing it gets harder to keep coming back for more. Especially because in the first two seasons you don’t get a whole lot of him and I’m stuck on season 2. 

Allania (Nia) Alvez: I feel like out of all my OCs I am the most like Nia. She’s a half elf-half mortal princess that isn’t allowed to live with the elves so they sent her to live with her mortal father. Her dad’s run a bakery in town and she works there as an assistant baker when she isn’t preparing for her next drag show. She grew up in this family full of love and acceptance and grew excited about one day having a relationship just like her parents. Her first brush with love left her broken by the side of the road even though no relationship came of it. A lot of my feelings for my ex-best friend went into Nia’s personality. However, there is a bright side! Of course with every one of my fics so far there is a bright side that comes in the form of my favorite character Tom who gives her the love that she deserves. 

Animaniacs: Of course this is me we’re talking about so there has to be an Animaniacs OC on this list! This is actually the first character that I ever made on my own free will! She has changed a lot throughout the years that I’ve had her mostly because my tastes have changed.  

Elizabeth Martin: Lizzy is a member of the scene crowd, I was inspired by my best friend and what she wears every day. For the modern au that I have her in her and Yakko are dance partners in a musical theater style school. For the regular fic she’s cast as his love interest. I love this girl so much. To me she is everything that I want to be even now. Her strength and confidence to get through every situation, even the ones that she is afraid to deal with speaks volumes to how I want to be one day. One of the few things that we have in common is that we both did martial arts! She stuck with it for longer than me though and is currently a green belt in kempo karate. Her favorite musical is Fun Home because it’s the one that she relates to the most through the eyes of the mother Helen Beckdal. Her parents basically had three other kids and went here take care of these it’s your job. Every time I listen to Days and Days I think of how much she had to go through just to make sure that everything was going according to plan. 

Looney Toons: Who doesn’t love Looney Toons?! We all have our personal favorite characters, mine has always been the schemer Daffy Duck. I thought that he was a combination of the funniest and had the most personality other than Bugs. I love his antics and get rich quick schemes and I thought to myself one day “How cute would it be if he had an adorable little niece who loved space?!” 

Daniella Duck: This began the creation of one of the best ideas that I personally think that I have ever had. So Daniella is the only one out of all my OCs that does not have aspergers. Instead I looked at Daffy’s elongated tongue and was like “Hm something inside of me thinks that she would have down-syndrome...” At first she was just going to have a little bit of her uncle’s speech impediment but this is what happens when I get ideas when I’m working out. Daniella lives with her uncle on the warner movie lot in the show fic. I love writing for her and her uncle’s relationship because it’s soft Daffy (it’s very similar to writing for soft Grunkle Stan and I LOVE BOTH). Daniella also has an uncle figure in Bugs and Porky of course. I gave her canon partner to Wakko because I just thought that they would be SO cute together. He helps her work on her self confidence and working her way around her speech impediment. In the modern au that I have she has a brother Ding Dong (@oo-fabooo02 OC). She goes to school with Wakko, loves Ed, Ed N Eddy, helps her uncle on his podcast because Daffy is a comedian in this au and she helps him write his script for the episodes. She loves space in both aus but in the modern au she actually is able to become an astronaut! 

Teen Titans\Promare: I have the same OC for both Teen Titans and for Promare but she’s more for Promare right now. What started off as just a happy au that she could have with her comfort character from the TT fic sort of spiraled into this whole other au. 

Keiko Katsuragi\Fotia in the Promare au: Keiko is a really special OC in my heart. She’s adorable, fun loving, sweet and just an all around amazing girl. In the Teen Titans au she’s a lot more damaged emotionally. Her father gave her powers through a serum that she didn’t even really want (she thought that he was joking) and it caused her house to burn down. When she left Japan she was homeless until the Teen Titans found her. Keiko is a member of the decora community and loves cutesy, girly things (especially Pokémon, Sanrio characters, Spongebob, Strawberry Shortcake and Care Bears). Her collection of stuffed animals is immense and intimidating. Her canon partner is Beast Boy. I’ve had Keiko since I was six and only just started to refine her and make her into an official OC. Promare au Keiko still has BB as her partner but I made him into a fire fighter for this au to work. She started off in a poly relationship with Meis and Gueira but I changed my mind. Writing the Promare au gave me the chance to make a happy unscarred Keiko. Her comfort character in this au is Dot. 

Princess And The Frog: If you forced me to pick a favorite Disney movie this one would be one of the two answers that I gave to you. I have a very big soft spot for this movie in particular. It is one that changed my life when I sat there as a young child and watched the movie unfold in front of my very eyes. Every time I rewatch this movie I am reminded of how much of my childhood I spent loving hand drawn Disney animation. 

Rhiannon (Rae): Rae is the daughter of Tiana and Naveen. I named her after Raymond the firefly. If you knew what a big comfort character my favorite cajun firefly is for me and my mom then her name will come as no surprise. She is the baker and pastry chef for Tiana’s Palace. Rae is a multi musically talented young girl she plays the ukulele, trumpet and accordion. When I first started writing for her I knew that I wanted her to be bisexual. So I turned to one of my favorite animation fun facts that I know. When Jim Cummings was first auditioning for Raymond they had him sing a song. This song that he sang is by Leon Russel and it’s called Cajun Love Song. It is also the song that he sings when he is untying Tiana and Naveen’s tongues. The song is about a girl named Alice. And part of my brain that makes these connections went perfect! That’ll be the name of her girlfriend. Rae is mostly a daddy’s girl. The relationship between her and Naveen was really what helped me refine her personality. Her comfort character is Rabbit from Winnie The Pooh. She is a gardener in her free time and that’s where she gets a majority of her fresh fruits and vegetables for her pastries and desserts. She isn’t really the best at being a princess. In fact she hates when she has to go and visit Maldonia. She doesn’t feel at home there and they won’t let her cook or bake anything at all because it’s not seen as ladylike. This is when she mostly feels like something is wrong with her. Why can’t she just do this one seemingly simple thing for her dad? When he does so much for her why can’t she do this? She learns that even though she isn’t perfect she is so very much loved that it’s ridiculous. Her family loves her so much and they’re willing to move hell or high water for her to be comfortable. 

Gravity Falls: My most recent obsession (I did not have cable when the original show was being released please don’t kill me). I have recently been binging this show on Disney+ and have just started the second season. I hope to be done with it within the next week or so because I love it so much. My favorite character so far is definitely Grunkle Stan. I love his growth and development from a power hungry greedy old man to somebody that clearly loves the kids that are put under his care. Watching his adorable relationship with mother and the father son relationship with Dipper is something that is really close to my heart.

Twilight Pines: My most recent OC!! Twilight is the older sister of Mabel and Dipper and has been visiting Grunkle Stan for years prior to the start of the show. She’s used to his money scheming antics by now but she still loves her favorite Grunkle. Growing up, Twilight had a nervous stutter. She was shy, nervous a lot, socially awkward and was never really the best at dealing with other people. This made her comfort character Piglet from Winnie The Pooh. Her stutter is still there but it’s gotten a lot better!! She spent the year before the show starts at drama camp trying to get over her stutter. While it’s not gone completely it was a lot of progress. She has a really strong relationship with her caretaker for the summer because of the years that she’s spent with him in the past. Up until Mabel went with her for the summer she thought that she would be the only niece in his heart. See, after Mabel was born she took up a lot of the attention. Everyone wanted to look at the cute one instead of the nervous one. It’s just the way that life is. But during the summer she got to spend it being the favorite relative of somebody. When she notices how close Mabel and Stan are getting that’s when she knows that it’s over. She was naive to ever think that somebody would pick her as the favorite. Not when Mabel existed alongside her. It’s not that she doesn’t love Mabel because she clearly does. It’s just that well sometimes she wants to be loved and appreciated by her parents instead of constantly being sidelined. That’s why her summers with her Grunkle were so important to her. It was just three months out of the year. But for those three months working at the Mystery Shack and having all kinds of chaotic fun were the highlight of her year. She has to learn that she has her own values too. One’s that while don’t oversell her sister are still her’s and they are still beautiful. She learns that her parents love and care about her just as much as her sister. It’s just hard to be a show stealer in this house let’s be honest. Twilight is a pansexual and her canon partner is Wendy. 

[winbutlerscowbell]

Terminator Dark Fate Analysis Mexico Edition

Welcome to the Terminator Dark Fate Analysis Mexico Edition, where I’m going to dissect, comment and give my constructive criticism at every reference, landscapes, locations and well, everything that goes Mexican in this movie of ours.

  First things first: I just realized the version delivered to the mexican theaters is DIFFERENT to the rest of the world, why? Because the characters who originally speak Spanish are DUBBED AGAIN, like double dubbed. So ironically, in Mexico we couldn’t get to hear precious things like “no mames”, WE WERE DAMN ROBBED.

OK HERE WE GO:

That bridge is sending me, it really looks like a bridge from here or vial distributor like they call it in a more elegant way.

No, forget it. That kind of bridge doesn’t exist here but nice try, I appreciate that.

Here’s where something really funny starts because what they say doesn’t match with the subtitles at all hahaha 

The girl says “no mames” and it’s subtitled to “Oh my God” AND it was dubbed as “No inventes” hahaha this can’t be...

And here, the guy says “yo siento lo mismo”, it’s subtitled as “I feel it too” which is accurate but when they dubbed it they went with “¿y esos ojos?” lmao

Can’t forget to mention this ICONIC scene, of course.

The moment when the cops arrive reminds me of the meme where there’s some thiefs robbing something and the cops are asleep but there’s someone naked or doing something else and a fucking troop arrives, here is one example of the meme I’m talking about:

kidnappers - cops asleep, thiefs - cops asleep,narcos - cops asleep,an old lady selling flowers - the fucking troops.

"¿Qué le pasó a tu amiga, wey?" the cop saying this hahahsha lmao like I said WE WERE FUCKING ROBBED.

The girl saying “qué pedo wey” when they’re arresting her hahah, I actually predicted at least one “que pedo” would be said in this movie and finally I can see my prediction turned out to be true #SamPatchVidente

The casa de papel guy aka the cop is going to be beaten the shit out for wanting to take Grace to the ministerio publico.

Cops getting beaten the shit out of them: oil on canvas 

And here’s the first mistake: the patrols have signs saying “policia municipal” and “cdmx” (Mexico City). In real life that’s impossible as “policia municipal” (municipal police) is one thing and “cdmx” is a totally different city, patrols can’t have both things but hey, the design is spot on.

"Eso estuvo padrísimo wey" hahsha lmao this time I prefer the dubbing where they go with “eso estuvo padrísimo, güera”, cause I like when they call Grace güera.

Never in my life I imagined I’d be alive to see this piece of art: Mackenzie with “Sí señor” playing in the background. The first time I saw this I was losing my shit even more cause Mackenzie was somewhere in the same room, probably watching the scene too. This is so powerful, wow.

This is sending me hashaha, in the dubbed versión the guy shouts at her “pinche gringa ratera” (fucking gringa thief or something) and it’s translated to “Go to hell lady” come on hahahaha so I prefer that over the original version, damn it I wish I could have a hybrid version of this cause is gold.

The heroic CDMX, fuck yessss! I would have loved to see the Popocatepetl. I’d like to think the suavicrema is in the background, so maybe is Chapultepec?. So what is a suavicrema? Could be like a brand of ice cream wafer and that tall building in the background looks like one, lol. Omg, ok I’ll stop.

Next: we can see doña pelos in here cooking her food. Doña pelos or doña lupe is how we call every lady who sells food in the street, so for practical effects this lady is doña pelos.

Here’s the proof we call them like that:

It translates: “So doña pelos is taking marketing courses” cause she’s using an Adobe logo to promote her food of the day, which is “adobo de cerdo” hahaha

Let’s move on.

No, it’s not “do you want your tamal”, it’s “tortita de tamal” aka the famous guajolota, that’s what she’s asking. A guajolota is “a sandwich composed of a tamal placed inside a bolillo or telera, which is a rounder version of a bolillo.” Yes, I got it from Wikipedia, don’t judge. 

Also, a lady selling garnachas (like quesadillas, etc.) AND tamales? That’s new.

She also sells mangos? Wowowowow that’s versatility. 

And “le robo un manguito” “can I steal a mango?” Dani, you have to pay for that, you can go to jail for like 30 years, I’m serious, remember the meme of the cops?

Someone said she may be a prostitute and I can’t even…so you can’t dress with whatever you want? But also I’m a little suspicious and she actually may be one depending on what zone is Dani supposed to live. 

A pink cab! I thought it was a Nissan Tsuru because they always are but this time it’s not. Missed opportunity, production design team. 

“Let’s put Frida Kahlo to emphasize this is Mexico, what a good idea , why not?” 

Multifamiliar o vecindad? we're about to find out.

Why does she have a bike hanging on the wall? Is that a thing? 

The fruit on the table, the vase, and the squared table cloth, that evoked things in me.

About the music: I mean, it’s okay they put latin music but I am fucking sick to death of this Bomba Estereo song, I fucking hate it. There, I said it.

147 likes, that’s how excited the guys who think they’re Dj’s or something are when they upload things to soundcloud. 

One thing I don’t understand is: if they live in Mexico City, why are they talking in english now? Did I miss something? 

Never seen anyone in my life name a dog “Taco”, only “Chilaquil” but that’s another story.

Arturitooo from la casa de papel! or how I like to call him: el cñor <3 (it means señor but with a c because it sounds the same).

Interestingly, now there are two actors from la casa de papel appearing here hahaha 

LMFAO that’s a flagrant fucking typo: “tomalito” hahshaha that’s an unforgivable mistake. It’s “tamalito” obviously. 

Now, what’s up with the serape blanket on the wall? Hahaha we call them sarapes but come on, we’re not like that…well yeah but no… It would have been funny if the serape had a drawing of the last dinner hahaha that would have triggered childhood memories.

The cñor from la casa de papel is going to the imss for his medical check up. Imss is a horrible public health institution but that’s what we have so…

Ok, this is GOLD: the serape blanket, a picture of la Virgen de Guadalupe, the couch covered with sheets and ANOTHER serape blanket, the sewing machine hahaha they missed the calendar from the fruit store or the butch shop, damn haha

Did taco survive? I guess not :(

Also when Diego sings: Y’all, you could have saved some good money by picking up another song, I mean, it’s a beautiful song by Juan Gabriel but I heard it was very expensive and now in retrospective you could have saved something in this little simple thing.

So it’s a vecindad I guess.

And how did they hang the clothes in the middle? :v Can these people fly? That would be a Mexican super power to take advantage of the maximum possible space. 

  Un viejo encueradooooo, tápese cochino.

A green bussssss!!! We call them microbuses and the location gives me historical downton vibes because of all the people in the street. 

Oopppp another pink cab, I love it. 

I am the only person on this planet who is excited to see those microbuses in this movie, yes I am. 

I FINALLY KNOW WHAT THE ROUTE OF THE MICROBUS SAYS! It says "LAGO DE GUADALUPE, E. ZAPATA" WHICH IS INCORRECT HAHAHAHA. Also, the man with the hat hahaha it’s Mexico City not Monterrey.

Lago de Guadalupe is not in Mexico City and “E. Zapata” maybe is the subway station but they’re absolutely not close to each other, well let’s move on. 

 The casa de papel guy aka Dani’s dad is speaking with a heavy spanish accent tbh

And... Goodbye Mr. casa de papel :(

They make it look as if everybody works there, it’s not a little town, you know?

Why the fuck is an employee riding a bike inside the factory? I don’t get it. 

When diego says "chale" hahaha same.

"Un robot, que chido eh" hahaha chido and it’s subtitled as "it's cool" adjka god help me please.

El señor Sánchez represents me.I mean, there was a little bit of criticism because all the mexicans represented here are white but hey, try looking for someone who looks like a mexican in damn Europe, they did the best they could.

Aaaagain: if they are in Mexico City, why the hell are they talking in english? I’ll never understand.

Typical police guy distracted with the damn phone, yes we are in Mexico.

That policeman looks like Burt Reylonds (?)

Wish Grace would’ve arrived in that microbus hahahaha

That microbus is weird, nope I don't know her. 

That microbus has the same route as the previous one but it has something else under “E. Zapata”, like “Tecnologico” or something like that, ooofff maybe it’s Tecnologico de Monterrey hahaha that college is kinda near Lago de Guadalupe so haha ok, let’s keep going. 

Another distracted cop, my Mexico.

I love how Grace beats cops everywhere, this is an irrelevant scene for this analysis but I just love it so much.

Back to the factory: "Qué hace aquí tu jefe?" jasjdd "que haces aquí, jefe", the slang is on point here haha

"Olvidaste tu comida mijo" jasdjkhd

"Me quieren reemplazar por esa pinche máquina" apparently translates to a "they’re replacing me with that damn machine" jaksdj at least put a “fucking” or something.

Again that heavy spanish accent with that deep voice, hmmm

I’m going to ignore the Factory fight because there’s no Mexican stuff here.

Well, Diego and Dani keep saying “vámonos” and they don’t fucking leave haha

“GET IN” and Dani saying "ya güera ya güera" jakdhakjd I love her

Pink cab is saved from being destroyed by Grace.

Here comes the policía municipal to spoil everything. 

Ok, my theory is they are in the limits of Mexico City and the metropolitan area aka the state which is also a kinda not very good looking place and omg hahaha I love that.

Here’s when Diego slips an almost inaudible “no mames”, I know I heard it.

And well, THANK YOU GOVERNOR OF MEXICO CITY BECAUSE THE PATROLS ARE NOT THE SAME COLOR AND THEY’RE NOT ACCURATE ANYMORE, THANK YOU FOR SPOILING EVERYTHING.

These are our patrols now:

Ugh.

Noooo the tacos :( this really hurt a lot.

This is where I think they enter a highway called “circuito exterior mexiquense” that effectively connects the metropolitan area of the state with Mexico City and I LOVE IT. I love everything, do I?

Also some say the Rev-9 is driving a snow plow truck, is it? The only time it has snowed in Mexico City was in 1967, a long time ago.

Everything is screaming “circuito exterior”, yes I’m getting those vibes and I’m here for it.

Another pink cab is seen. Fun fact: because of its pink and white colors, we call them “hello kittys” and before that they were like wine color and gold so we called them “iron man”.

“FASTER GO FASTER”  Grace: “shut the fuck up, dummy”  and giving looks that could kill.

Hahahaha those license plates are so damn old and they say “Chihuahua” and “Guanajuato” ahaha doesn’t make very much sense.

The car of my friend hahaha

The truck behaving like my friend’s car.

Here’s where as a mexican citizen who used to drive every day in that highway, I detected some continuity details in the pursuit scene: 

ROAD SIGN 1: Nextlalpan/Jaltenco haha on the opposite side of the road.

ROAD SIGN 2: Querétaro/Toluca/Tultitlán on the right side they’re driving

ROAD SIGN 1 again: first mistake fellas, now the sign is in the lane where they’re driving.

ROAD SIGN 3: Ecatepec/Texcoco, how do I know? I just do.

ROAD SIGN 4: This is my fave because in this one there's my shitty town hahaha SALIDA LECHERIA-TEXCOCO AV.JOSE LOPEZ PORTILLO Y COACALCO hahaha

It really looks like the circuit, I drive there a lot of times and Grace was there, destroying everything :')

ROAD SIGN 4: My fave sign now is on the opposite side, mistake number two.

Each and every one of the times I went to the theaters to watch this movie, in this scene everyone was like "ohhhh what? omg nooo" 

ROAD SIGN 4: Mistake number 3, the sign of Lecheria is shown again when the Grace truck had already passed there on the other side of the road.

ROAD SIGN 2: There's again the sign of Queretaro/ Toluca/Tultitlan when Grace's truck has already driven over there.

ROAD SIGN 5: Toluca/Lago de Guadalupe, remember? Lago de Guadalupe,  just like the microbus route sign.

ROAD SIGN 5: Just because I love to see Mackenzie with those signs in the background hahaha

Anyway, the circuito exterior mexiquense is a fucking mess and of course I love it.

Dani, I wouldn't go to the police either, they’re a bunch of useless idiots and I'm sure they would blame YOU for everything and get you into jail for 40 years.

Really bitch? RECETA MEDICA AJSDKASDK he's asking her for a prescription lmao her face I can’t...

Also I always wondered how Grace understood the pharmacy guy but now I know that in the version brought up here, this guy was dubbed to spanish while in the original version he spoke english, those little differences and  I’ll never understand why they did it.

Typical guy filming the mess hahaha 

"Qué pasa güera" traduced to "what the hell", nice (not actually)

That looks like a little town but God knows where is it, eww

Sure, we all have an uncle who is a coyote (no, not true). We call them polleros, not coyotes but whatever.

"Ojalá ustedes no fueran tan blancas" "I wish you two weren't so white" hasjdaj Love it.

So they're going to the famous BESTIA (beast), that's the nickname of the train because it's so huge.

I'm laughing hard because in some sites they called this scene "train station scene" hahaha this is everything but a train station haha ffs

Fun fact: I see that train everyday just without migrants, I think they ride the train in other certain places. This is a pic a took of the real bestia:

LOS HEROES TECAMAC JAJAJAJAJA lmao lmao I can't fucking believe it jasjdkaja the little shitty town close to mine LOVE IT

Ciudad Valles jaskdja

Ciudad Victoria.

China??? wtf now that's just random places.

EDIT: Someone replied to his post and told me it’s a place in Nuevo León and yes it is, CHINA, Nuevo León Mx. close to Ciudad Victoria AND LAREDO. And this means I don’t know my country enough. Gracias @vickysan24​

Is this supposed to be Guanajuato? when on earth they went to Guanajuato? I need to talk to Sonja Klaus asap

Mackenzie saying "hola" is one of the best things that could've ever happened to me.

ahhh the food jasjdja has a lemon in it, I don't know, could be sincronizadas? hahahsha I think it’s eggs and beans with pico de gallo.

Mastering the skill of grabbing the tortilla like a spoon, nice. She has my seal of approval.

cartel de Sinaloa... really?! I really don't know what to think about this one...come the fuck on.

So that's how they cross huh, they keep putting walls but people always will find a way.

La migra got them:(

I’m going to do a big skip here. The border patrol and the detention center are next and key in the story but I don’t really know how can I bring something new in this analysis, maybe I’ll try later.

Next: When they find Carl.

For a looong time I really thought those beers were Corona and now it turns out they weren’t, sad day but oh well there are much better beers out there, so... *nail polish emoji*

Is that... MOLE DE LA COSTEÑA???? JAJAJSJAJD Did you think I wasn’t going to see that?! That’s a great product placement.

And another picture of la Virgen de Guadalupe.

I'm far from being an expert but i'm not sure if we drink beer like that, with the lemon in the bottle.

Another beer?  Yes, thank you.

Even Grace is not sure if beer is drank in that way.

But beer with lemon and salt is everything, I admit it.

Ok, fast forward, no mexican things until the very end;

"Mataste todo lo que quería cabron" jsadkhdjha what a delight! and it’s been translated to "you took everything I had, bastard" lmao yeah, right. Sounds better in spanish, obviously.

Yes people, only a mexican can throw herself to a Terminator and fight with it with her own bare hands.

And to finish this deep analysis, I want to point the great originality (sarcasm on) they had with some character names: Diego Boneta is Diego, Alicia Borrachero aka Carl’s “wife” is called Alicia and at some point the Rev-9 is called Gabriel, like hmm ok, I remember Diego Boneta’s character was rumored to be named Miguel but yeah it was just a rumor. Ohhh and the lady selling tamales her real life name is yes, you guessed it: Mona.

If you’re reading this, I want to thank you for getting this far, for taking your time and I hope this “little analysis” helped you to understand some things better about the movie that maybe you’ve missed in your viewings or to discover new things about Mexico. Did I miss something? Let me know what you think.

[digimonadventuretimelines]

[05 - The Birth of the Space-Time Traveler]

“I won’t tell you anything!” Strikedramon shouted “My brother and I won’t talk to any of you humans!”

“Don’t test me, or else…”

“Or else what, punk?”

Stingmon cracked his knuckles, giving a death glare at the Strikedramon duo who gulped quietly.

“Sir, we will t-talk!” the second Strikedramon babbled “We’re part of a gang called Roar of Freedom, and they’re planning to separate humankind from the digimon.”

“Y-Yea, and our leader is a big bad wolf named Lupin--”

“Don’t say that name idiot! Don’t you know he can hear you!?”

“... R-right, the troop might be around.”

“Don’t worry” Ken said with a serious tone “We will do our best to keep you two safe. But please cooperate with us” they he smiled.

“Wow, Ken’s really good at dealing with criminals” Agumon whispered to Taichi.

“Indeed” and he answered with a quiet voice.

“Okay, we will talk about it” the first Strikedramon nodded, “His name is Lupinmon and he has ordered us to invade the human world and get rid of the DigiWorld’s ambassadors.”

“He also has loyalty of two dangerous digimon” the second Strikedramon added “One is his most powerful soldier, and the other is his assassin.”

Ken recorded those on his phone and mind, while Taichi was learning against the wall and watching the interrogation.

“Thank you for cooperating with us” Ken said with a soft tone “As my promise, we will keep you two safe from them. I will call the assistance for you now.”

-------------------------------------------------

The gate opened next to the Motomiya-Inoue’s residence, where Kiyoko, Taisuke and Eiji were taking a break and eating some snacks. 

“You brought us to my house…?” Daichi blinked “Wait, we need to help mr. Yagami--”

“Taichi’s old but not weak” Natsu said “Don’t forget, he was the leader of his group, the same group your parents were part of. And Daisuke also was like, the third in command, Yamato was the second.”

“Uh, guys” Ulforce interrupted them “I think there’s someone at home. It’s not a good idea go there”

“It must be Kiyoko” Daichi mused “I hope she’s okay… Wait I will call her.”

Natsu and Ulforce looked at each other while the kid took his phone from his pocket and dialed up his house’s phone. As he assumed, his little sister answered the call.

“Hello, Kiyoko? Are you and the guys ok? I was going to the theater when heard the news. Wait, you three left before it happened!? Ok, ok… Glad you’re fine. Anyway, I’ve met my friends and I will be a bit late today. Tell mom to not let her worried with me again. Thank you, sis” he hung up the phone and put it back on his pocket.

“So… you lied to her.”

“Not totally” he smirked “After all you two are my friends. Anyway, let’s go. I’m partnered with Ulforce now.”

“Wait, you want to go after your father right now!?” she gasped “No, no. Daichi, listen. Your father does not remember of you or him being human! He was brainwashed to think he’s a digimon!”

“He… he remembered of my name. I’m sure he’s still there. But i meant… Travel back to the time he was captured, before that and warn him!”

“Um… you want to do a minor change on the past?”

“That doesn’t seem a bad idea” Ulforce shrugged “It wouldn’t erase this world right?”

“Hm… I think not” she answered “How about we ask Skuld’s opinion? She seems to know more about space-time.”

“You trust on that woman-like Digital World’s agent, digi-girl!?”

“She seems nice” Natsu shrugged.

“... Let’s ask her, please” Daichi nodded “Take us there again Natsu.”

“OK! I think I figured it out, it’s connected to…” from behind her scarf, she took a pendant on her necklace. It seemed an octagon-shaped crystal, with some pink sand inside “... this little thingy I have here!”

Natsu took the pendant and pointed it from an empty place. In the next seconds, a flash came from the crystal, opening a gate in front of them.

  “Daichi called and said he was inside when the theater got attacked” Kiyoko told Taisuke and Eiji, and they could notice her panic “But he said he’s fine. Do you think… No, the adults are adults and know how to handle things.”

“So you were concerned about my father huh” Taisuke didn’t know how to avoid bitterness but it was too late. Kiyoko frowned at him, and Eiji put a hand on Taisuke’s shoulder.

“I’m sure my dad will be called and he will protect uncle Taichi.”

“Huh, you really think that ol’ man is unable to protect himself!? Nothing to worry about!”

“You admit it. You’re worried about him,” she said with a deadpan face.

“What!? I don’t!?”

“It’s okay” Eiji laughed nervously “I think Kiyoko just misinterpreted your commentaries.”

“... I just want him to go home” Taisuke whispered “and safe.”

-------------------------------------------------

The gate opened in front a mysterious armored angel digimon, it seemed like part of the Angemon species branch, but nothing like anything Daichi had seen before. Its armor was white, and the chest plate had a keyhole on it. The angel was also holding a big key… That made the young kid think of an old game he had seen his best friend talking about once.

“Who’s there?”

“Uh, it’s me. I’m back” Daichi announced, and once everyone was on the mysterious dimension palace, the gate behind them closed.

“You…” the digimon approached from the boy “Ah yes, you. The child from the other day.”

“Excuse me, but I don’t remember of knowing you before…”

“Pardon, I’m Clavis Angemon and I protect this place.”

“Oh…! I’m Daichi, these are Natsu and Ulforce. Do you know where Skuld is, mr. Clavis Angemon?”

“She was waiting for your return, space-time traveler. Please come with me you three” and the angel digimon gracefully led the trio to a part of that emptiness place where was filled with doors, all of them of the same size and design. They had rustic wood, but the doorknob was completely made of gold.

“Mrs. Skuld” Daichi called her once they found the mysterious woman reading a holo-screen “I’m came back. I’ve decided what I want to do.”

“You did?” She moved her hands, and the screen disappeared “Say my child, what’s your decision.”

“I want to use the space-time power to prevent Motomiya Daisuke to be captured.”

There was a serious tone on Daichi’s voice. Very determined, somehow reminding of his father. Skuld smiled, then she responded to his bravery with a nod.

“Very well. You found an objective to be achieved. However, rules are important my young traveler.”

“Rules…? Like, not let anyone know I’m from the future?”

“Yes. And you cannot let any of your parents and their acquaintances to know about your true identity.”

“Fair. I won’t mess with more than warning the Chosen Children about the enemy.”

“But Daichi” Natsu interrupted him “You don’t know what kind of enemy is!”

“Heh, we will see” Ulforce nodded “It can’t be THAT bad!!”

“... Considering Daisuke got BEATEN and CAPTURED” she replied with a very angry tone “Oh yes, it might not be a real deal huh?”

“M-maybe he miscalculated!?”

“You’re saying that Daisuke messed things up and that’s the result of his own mistake!?”

“Stop fighting, please” Daichi interrupted them “My dad isn’t that smart nor that dumb, but he can commit a lot of mistakes in a row.”

“I’m so offended right now!” Natsu crossed her arms.

“Anyway, we can do that right Skuld?” Daichi glanced at the mysterious woman “Warn the Chosen Children that someone is after one of them.”

“I don’t see any problem” she answered “As long you don’t get your true identity be revealed, you’re free to do anything harmless.”

“Ok,” he looked back at the other two digimon “Natsu, Ulforce let’s roll.”

“You’re channeling into your mother right now” Natsu sighed, but nodded.

“Wait, his mother had some kind of catchphrase??” Ulforce blinked.

“She was the cheer of the group” the digi-girl explained “Used to say ‘Digital Gate open! Chosen Children let’s roll!' every single time they went to the Digital World.”

Daichi blushed, “L-let’s stop talking about my mom and let's go save my dad please.”

  -------------------------------------------------

“Mom, I’m home”

Taisuke closed the door after arriving at home, but the lights were off in the living room. He walked in, then something caught his attention: He heard his mother’s voice talking on the phone and hid in the corridor to hear a bit of the conversation.

“I see, you’re investigating those incidents…Should I tell Yamato and Koushiro?”

Seemed it was his father the one on the other side of the line.

“Are you OK though? I heard the premiere event had been attacked. Oh thank goodness you’re fine…! Are you… Coming home? Huh? You will be late again?”

“Tsk, just like the usual” Taisuke muttered.

“I… I understand. Do you need my help? No? Oh okay I will keep an eye on Taisuke then, don’t worry. The mom Sora is still in shape to protect those she loves!”

“Me? Protect me ?!” he thought and clenched his fist “I do not need to be protected! I can do anything by myself! I… I’m strong, stronger than you and mom!”

The rage Taisuke felt had been there for a long time ago. Mostly after Taichi had become an ambassador for the Digital World, working day and night to keep both parties safe. Sora is a Japanese fashion designer, but tries to find time for her only son, Taisuke.

It does not help that the young child despises how busy Taichi had became. Especially now with this new enemy reveal. However, Taisuke does not know about that. He does not know that both parents are linked to the old stories he heard from his aunt Hikari.

And deep down, he wanted to do something big enough to make his father look at him. Something…

“Oh, Taisuke you’re home??” once Sora had hung up the phone, she noticed him there eavesdropping, but pretended he wasn’t listening to her and Taichi at all “Did you eat something?”

“Uh I… I had. I was with Kiyoko and Eiji” he replied “I’m going to sleep. Good night, mom. Night, Piyo” and he went to his room.

“Is he okay?” Piyomon tilted her head.

“... I think he heard me” Sora frowned “He’s missing Taichi because lately...”

Piyomon got a bit concerned about that scene, but wasn’t able to cheer Sora up or give any kind of advice like she had used to in the past.

[vinylfromthevault]

Taj Mahal “The Natch’l Blues” 1968. Today, May 17th, is Taj Mahal’s birthday (b. Henry Saint Clair Fredericks, 1942). I met Taj Mahal once, back in June 1976; I was just shy of my 5th birthday but it was a truly memorable experience. My parents are of the Vietnam War-era generation - my dad went into the Army reserves and was not deployed but some of their friends did see active combat while others left for Canada. One of their friends lived in Canada for several years (I don’t know how many but by the late 70′s he was back in the States, living not far from Three Mile Island when the nuclear meltdown happened in ‘79) and we traveled fairly frequently to Toronto to visit. In 1976 we all went to the Mariposa Folk Festival, an annual music fest that took place at a variety of locations in and around Toronto over the years (it’s still going on, this year in Orilla, Canada). In ‘76 it was held on the Toronto Islands and access to the Fest was by ferry (no automobiles except for some service vehicles are permitted on the islands). Though 1976 was the dawning of the punk and disco era, grassroots, blues and folk music associated with 60′s hippie culture was still pretty strong and fests like Mariposa flourished; here’s a group shot of my parents and their friends outside of the Toronto apartment where they lived the weekend of the festival (I’m the little girl in the pink dress). 

Check out this homespun pamphlet chock full of events from that summer: headline performers of course but also music workshops, “song swaps,” kids’ events, arts and crafts, indigenous peoples presentations, comedy, storytelling, and on and on. I remember a lot of sitting around on blankets, picnics and music. Here’s a few photos of me, the crowds and a music stage.

Me eating raisins: You Can’t Push Me Down (you probably could, I was really little)

Me napping

My mom looking at the program, me napping (again).

My parents’ friends from Toronto.

Picnicking (my Dad has the white t-shirt on)

This photo is labeled “Harmony 101″ - I’m not sure if that is the name of the group or if it’s some kind of Master Class.

Anyway, Taj Mahal performed that weekend, as a solo act but also as part of some of the interactive music forums that were sprinkled throughout the Mariposa programming. Here is the one photo I could find in our collection - he clearly was super-popular (people are standing up!) so it was hard for my parents to get a good photo shot. 

The curfew for Mariposa on the Islands was 8:30 pm and the venue needed to be cleared out by then. Everyone would troop to the ferries, crowd on and go back to the mainland - the Toronto city center isn’t far from the Islands. The last evening - Sunday June 26th - Taj Mahal performed on a couple of stages, including as part of the last performance of the event: Making Music Together along with several other artists including Ken Bloom, Penny Lang, John Arpin, Bill Usher and Gilles Losier. I’m pretty sure at some point during the concert it started to rain. Hard. Torrential downpour. I don’t know where they came from but someone had massive clear tarps for people to hold over their heads, under which about 10-12 people could walk. I found myself walking under a tarp (not holding it of course, I was like two feet tall!) next to Taj Mahal through puddles and mud. We boarded the ferry and I remember standing next to him, dripping wet, during the ride back to the mainland. I have no idea what we talked about but I do know that he was genial - laughing and looking down at tiny me. 

I’ve only seen Taj Mahal perform one other time, in either ‘91 or ‘92. During college I occasionally volunteered at the Barrymore Theater in Madison, WI so I could see free concerts (some friend hooked me up with that sweet deal). I think at that show my job was to check people’s wristbands or hand stamps for re-entry at the door, causing me to miss a large portion of his performance but I did get to see a few songs, standing by the door at the back of the venue.

The Natch’l Blues was Taj Mahal’s second album. It’s really good, classic Delta-style American blues but brought into modernity (in this case, 1960′s modernity) with electric guitar. It’s the sound that bands like The Rolling Stones and other rock groups in the late 60′s were keen to emulate and capitalize on. Some tracks to check out: “Corinna,” “Going Up to the Country, Paint My Mailbox Blue,” “Done Changed My Way of Living” and “The Cuckoo.”

[bea-lele-carmen]

[ensignrook]

To explain what one character means to you can sometimes be difficult. 

I fully expected, seeing Rogue One for the first time, that Jyn would be my favorite character. But it didn’t take the whole movie for me to fall in love with a nervous, anxious every-man with a pure heart and a self-less attitude.

I only saw Rogue One three times in the theaters, but that’s all it took for me to have adopted a favorite character. A favorite character of all-time. 

When Star Wars Celebration was brought up at a Troop (I was there as another character), I liked the idea, but Riz wasn’t going to be there, so I didn’t give it much thought. The day they announced Riz would in fact be there, I bought a ticket: I’d figure out the rest.

I ended up carpooling with two relatively complete strangers from NY all the way to Florida. We bonded that trip, and I knew I’d made friends for life.

Meeting Riz was more than a thrill. He was impressed with my near screen-accurate costume, and I was nothing but chatty to him, probably out of nervousness.

As soon as I got back home, I resolved to finish my costume for Rebel Legion Approval. I was only a few weeks behind of being the very first, but I was content to be the second in the world.

My first Troop as Bodhi, I was nervous, but decided Bodhi would be too. I soon adopted a very shy, quiet attitude as Bodhi, but found I was just not as widely recognized as I thought the hero of the Rebellion should be. I didn’t care. I was happy, and maybe I could jog someone’s memory.

My most memorable experience was when I entered the cosplay contest at Awesome-Con. As they pulled the top contestants away for the awards, it was apparent that one of the contestant’s daughters was now completely unsupervised and crying. I immediately went over to her. It took her a few minutes to warm up to me, but she was soon chatting away, her tears long gone. I don’t know who even placed in that contest: I was talking to a kid. But I know that’s what Bodhi would have done. I didn’t get much more than a thank you when I brought the little girl to her mother. But I didn’t watch her and make her stop crying because I wanted a thank you. I did it because she was crying and alone.

Trooping as Bodhi soon took me to all sorts of places, among them a photo shoot on Cape May, NJ. I got lost, and didn’t get to be at the shoot as long as I would’ve liked, but we managed some epic photos. A few days later, my dad passed away. 

I’ve traveled to many states as Bodhi, made many friends, and even cried many tears.

In October I became the first Eadu Bodhi in the entire world.

Outside of the cosplay world, I’ve discovered the sniperpilot fandom. At first, I was taken aback. But I was soon won over, and the friends I’ve made through this fandom are very special to me.

And I, of course, am a big fan of Riz, too! MICroscope was my number one summer album, and I even got to see Riz at his New Yorker Festival Talk! 

I would be a very different person today had Rogue One not happened. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Rogue One will live on forever, and I hope Bodhi Rook will continue to inspire new fans as I know he’s inspired and changed me for good.

@rogueoneanniversary

[whatyourusherthinks]

Land of Bad Review

Oh lord it's my first one of these. So, fun fact about me, I don't like anything that glorifies war. Never really got into Call of Duty, don't watch military movies usually, never even had gun toys as a kids. (Thank you Mom and Dad.) Like don't get me wrong, I respect our troops and veterans because God knows I can't do what they do, but the Military Industrial Complex is bad. I don't feel shame in saying that. One of my earliest memories is my parents taking me and my sisters to DC and all of us participating in an anti-Iraqi War protest. Fun times. This, along with the fact that our theater got no marketing and it's starring Russell Crowe and the two Hemsworth brothers that aren't Chris meant I was not looking forward to this movie at all.

What's This Movie About?

Liam Hemsworth is a rookie air force soldier who gets sent on a black ops mission to recover a CIA asset in the Philippines, but when his crew is seemingly killed he needs to travel across the jungle to reach an evacuation point.

What I Like.

Russell Crowe plays an air force drone pilot that is only a captain despite being active duty for a long time because he disrespects authority and while he starts as a massive jerk, I kinda liked his character by the end. There is a scene where he's trying to motivate and calm down Liam by just talking to him about banal stuff and it felt like something actual military personnel would do. I also kinda liked the ending. It was pretty tense and the speech Crowe gives is appropriately dramatic. The movie didn't didn't kill off the black guy, so good job of doing the minimal effort to fight back against racist allegations people like me are going to lob at the movie.

What I Didn't Like.

So I'm not gonna go off too much about the stuff I didn't like that just comes prepackaged as a movie about the US military. Obviously this movie gives a pretty glowing look at the US's bang bangs and woosh booms, and is also a ton of white guys killing foreigners. I find all that distasteful but if you saw the poster than you'd pretty much know exactly what you're getting. The problems I want to focus on is twofold.

One, The message of the movie is... well I could charitably call it confused. The main thematic conflict in the movie is about the new gadgets and tech that the military uses (like drones) versus just shooting guys face to face. It seems to favor the fighting up close approach, but not only is the guy making the face-to-face argument the team's SNIPER (Yeah, real face-to-face combat there), but the cartoonishly evil villain has the exact same points as him. Also, the drones in the movie are basically just the eagles from Lord of the Rings except they blow up bad guys instead of carrying the characters. Liam makes a point that using the drones helps put less lives at risk, but the sniper dismisses it because they're still killing people. Not only was that not his fucking point, but it was honestly insane to me that the movie just straight up admitted that it didn't care about minimizing loss of human life. Did you know the US military bankrolls movies and lends out hardware to so film makers can have authentic planes and weapons on set? The only real stipulation is that the movie has to have the US military framed in a positive light, showing off how effective and nice they are. That's why there are so many US gun wank propaganda movies, even in places where it shouldn't be like the Michael Bay Transformer movies. My point is that the US military saw the script of this movie, and went, "Sure, have all our tech and shoot on our bases and here's a bunch of money." So even the US military is tacitly admitting they don't care about minimizing casualties! (Whoops I said I wasn't gonna go off about this.)

Two, the camera work during the action scenes is awful. Does anyone like shaky cam? I know a little bit adds realism, but so many action movies look like the camera workers are trying to work through a seizure. You can't fucking see anything that is happening! At least there wasn't so many quick cuts in this movie, but it was still slightly nauseating to watch. You all know why action movies actually do shaky cam and quick cuts, right? It's to hide the fact that they are stitching together like thirty different takes into one fight. I don't want to take away from the hard work the actors and stuntmen do to create these modern scenes, but is this actually easier or better than just attempting to an entire fight choreography in mostly one take? I dunno, something to chew on.

Final Summation.

If you can ignore the under seated politics that all military movies have, the movie is just fine. If you get an erection watching guys in camo shooting gibbering non-white people, you'll have a goddamn ball. I, however, hate that shit so I'm going to hope the trend of no tickets being sold to this garbage continues.

[bomberqueen17]

sugarspiceandcursewords replied to your post “whoa goddamn, my google doc entitled “this is dumb” of the Found...”

Can they be in different units? I know the UCMJ about as well as...uh, a typical civilian, but I thought fraternization only applied if they were in the same chain of command.

I was trying to clarify this and couldn’t figure it out. None of the explainers of it go into that kind of detail. I should ask my sister, who would know for sure. I’m not sure you can date *anyone* in your chain of command *at all*, quite separately from someone outside your rank category. She ran afoul of this very slightly early on in her career-- I don’t know much about this but I know she got hassled by her peers a bit as a cadet. (IIRC, she hadn’t done anything actually incorrect, but the person she’d been going with was someone Not Appropriate in the eyes of her peers, and she got shit for it, including mild vandalism of her car. And as it happens, when you look up the UCMJ, there’s a lot of stuff in it that was only formalized into written law *very* recently, that was “custom” before that. It’s not... all technically... rules. A lot of it is just Things That Are Not Done. I don’t think civilians as a whole really completely grasp how important customs and traditions, continuity and culture, are to the armed forces in general.) 

She met her husband in a group of young officers, part of an informal sort of expedition club in the European theater back when we had troops stationed there, but part of why she was so interested in going to these mixers and things was because that was how you met people outside your chain of command; he was of similar rank, but in an unaffiliated unit, so there was no conflict of interest. They were eventually deployed together, but still as part of different units, and they were just lucky to be near one another. Their second deployment was after they were married, and the Army tried to keep them together but did a worse job of it. There’s only so much they could do, and again, they weren’t in one another’s chain of command.

There’s a cultural divide between officers and enlisted, there just is-- my father had all kinds of shenanigans in his career, enlisted into officer training and graduated a 2LT and made it as high as major before shenanigans forced him out for rank stagnation and, somewhere in his fifties, he re-enlisted out of sheer stubbornness, and went through a series of NCO ranks and wound up retiring as a warrant officer, after something like 37 total years of service. But at one point he was in a seminar, and at that point i think he was a warrant or might have been an NCO, and the person leading the seminar, an NCO of some stripe, had gotten ahead of him in acronyms, as often happens. Dad��s pretty good at figuring out acronyms on the fly, after decades in the Army and National Guard, but he just didn’t have enough context. So, finally, he had to raise his hand and ask what an “RLO” was.

The session leader knew who he was and knew his history and paused, shamefaced, before muttering, “Real Live Officers.”

(i.e. officers with commissions. NCOs don’t have commissions, and Warrants have a warrant instead of a commission.)

I don’t know for sure, it might be just fine to date someone outside your rank category if they were in a different chain of command or even branch of service-- but it might not be. Especially as in this story Shara is an exceptional early woman to hold a position-- she’d be under a lot of scrutiny. 

Either way, it allows me to do some worldbuilding in the story to have it be a concern-- give them both external contexts, and tie in to the thing I’m like, #1 most excited about in this ‘verse, which is that in a world where there’s no Alderaan, I can explore the Organas’ role more. So. We’ll see what my further research turns up, if anything.

[you-and-i-for-forever]

10 Things I Hate About You AU Chapter 1

Fandom: Be More Chill, Dear Evan Hansen                                         Characters: Michael, Jeremy, Evan, Connor, Rich, Jake, Alana, Zoe, Chloe, Brooke, Jenna, Jared                                                                                   Ships: Boyf riends, treebros, richjake, Zolana, Pink Berry                              Word count: 4.2k                                                                                   Summary:  Evan and Jeremy both get their fair share of love, romance, lies, and ploys by the end of the year.

Feel free to read this on ao3 instead! 

Jeremy Heere was sitting in the guidance counselor’s office at his new high school. He had walked in several minutes ago but the counselor, Mr. Reyes, was busy tapping away at his computer.

“Come in! Come in!” Mr. Reyes had called in a strange, theatrical vibrato from his desk when Jeremy had knocked on his door.

“Sit down, please, Jeremy, I’ve been expecting you.” Mr. Reyes had said with an almost sinister looking smile.

“Uuuuuh…okay,” Jeremy had said, doing as he was told and took a seat on the chair in front of the desk.

10 minutes later and Mr. Reyes was still tapping away at his computer and Jeremy was glancing around, taking in the office, not really sure what else to do.

Mr. Reyes office was small and cluttered. It was decorated from floor to ceiling with posters of musical theater shows like Cats, The Phantom of the Opera, My Fair Lady, Cabaret, A Chorus Line, Hamilton, and many, many more. A microwave sat precariously on a stool in the corner, something inside it being heated. Jeremy hadn’t seen what it was when Mr. Reyes shoved it in a few minutes ago. The timer only had about 2:00 minutes on it now.

“Now, let’s see.” The guidance counselor said, finally closing his computer and opening up what Jeremy could only assume was his school file. He started skimming over it and making interested humming noises that made Jeremy nervous.

“My, my…changing schools in the middle of high school? I certainly hope nothing went wrong at your last school.” Mr. Reyes smirked at Jeremy and peered at him over the top of his glasses.

Jeremy glanced around the room. This was uncomfortable, to say the least.

He cleared his throat. “Oh no, actually my dad-”

“That’s enough.” Mr. Reyes said, putting his hand up to stop Jeremy, “I'm sure you won't find Middleborough any different than your old school.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows and nodded.

It had all happened so fast. Jeremy’s dad had met someone when he was in the middle of his freshman year. Jeremy was just glad that his dad was able to get over his deadbeat mom and find someone new. She had left a few years ago and his dad hadn’t seemed okay for a long time after that.

His dad’s girlfriend was Heidi Hansen and she was really nice. A part-time nurse, part-time law student and she made his dad happy. She had long blonde hair, kind blue eyes, and Jeremy liked her smile and the way she spoke.

Heidi also had a kid, Evan. He was 1 year older than Jeremy but was nothing Jeremy had really expected in a big brother. Jeremy always pictured himself with a super cool older brother who played on the football team and was super smooth with the girls. He’d be tall with good hair and always have the best clothes and everyone would like him. And Jeremy would be just like him and his cool older brother would invite Jeremy to all the cool parties in town and everyone would be all “Dude, that’s your brother, he’s so cool. And you’re so cool too!”

When Jeremy first met Evan, after his dad insisted that things with Heidi were getting serious enough for their kids to meet, Evan was kind of the opposite of all of that. Evan didn’t play any sports or go to parties or had never dated anyone. He was shorter than Jeremy with okayish hair and nervous eyes. He wore the same weird combo of a blue polo and khakis every day and he stuttered and he spoke way too fast at times. He played with his hands and was hunched over a lot, and he was never able to stop moving. Always pulling at the bottom of his shirt or picking at his cast or wiping at his face. Evan had never dated a popular girl or date anyone…he didn’t even really have any friends. Jeremy was disappointed, to say the least.

But Evan was nice and Jeremy liked him enough.

Just before Jeremy’s summer break between sophomore and junior year, Heidi and Paul had bought a house together and the Hansen’s and the Heere’s moved in together. It was still pretty close to Jeremy’s old house and much bigger so he wasn’t complaining. In fact, Jeremy was pretty excited because the new house was within a different schools districts limits and Jeremy was going to get to transfer schools. He was extremely lucky because it just so happened that Jeremy’s best friend was going to be at his new school.

His name was Michael and he was the coolest dude Jeremy had ever known. They had become friends back in preschool. At the time, the town was a bit smaller with only one preschool nearby. 4-year-old Jeremy had randomly sat down next to 4-year-old Michael on the first day and talked about how fast they could run on the playground and what Gameboy games they liked. They made sure to sit next to each other every day after that and had been inseparable ever since.

…Until elementary school hit and they were each carted off to their respective schools. They had wound up in the same summer camps and Jeremy had begged his dad to let him join the Boy Scout troop that Michael was in when they were in 4th grade. When they were both old enough, they played video games online together and spent a majority of their free time texting once they both got cell phones in middle school.

Michael had freaked out when Jeremy had told him he’d be switching schools. They stayed up all night talking on the phone about what it was going to be like being in classes together and living closer to each other.

A new school with Michael sounded amazing, but a new school meant new everything. Jeremy dreaded thinking about how this school was going to be just like his last school; there were the popular kids and then there were the non-popular kids and then there was Jeremy. Jeremy wasn’t even considered a non-popular kid. He was sort of just invisible to everyone. He wanted to be noticed and popular and cool, but he really had no way of knowing how to do that.

But at least he had Michael and Michael was his favorite person, so the next 2 years were going to be totally fine.

Jeremy was pulled from his thoughts when Mr. Reyes turned his head and stared out the window, a longing look in his eyes, murmuring, “Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere,” under his breath.

Jeremy blinked rapidly, not knowing how else to respond to the off colored comment.

The microwave beeped, and it shook Mr. Reyes from his weird trance. He stood up and walked over to it.

“Well, I’ve got deviants to see and a hot pocket to eat. I have a student who’s going to meet you by the school entrance to show you around, so go find him. Good day, Mr. Heere.” Jeremy didn’t move a muscle.

“Good day!” Mr. Reyes said and Jeremy jolted from his chair.

“Okay. Thanks.” Jeremy said, slightly dumbfounded at everything that had happened in the office.

He turned and saw someone standing in the doorway. A guy with long hair and dark clothes. He was intimidating, to say the least. Jeremy squeezed past him and headed towards the school entrance, trying to understand how that man was supposed to be a guidance counselor.

-

Connor watched a wiry kid leave the office before his eyes slid over to where Reyes was standing. He was eating a hot pocket and some of the filling was dripping down into his beard. Connor’s top lip curled up slightly in disgust.

“Connor Murphy. I see we're going to be making our visits a weekly ritual, just like when you were a sophomore.” Reyes gestured to the chair in front of his desk.

Connor didn’t respond to his invitation to talk or sit, just stared at him from the doorway arms crossed.

How was he already in trouble? He hadn’t even done anything yet, he had literally just shown up to the first day.

“Your mother called earlier, wanting me to just…check up on you, make sure everything was going well.”

“I’ve been back for about 20 minutes now so, yeah it’s been great,” Connor replied with a sarcastic smile.

It was obviously already a disaster. Kids parted like the red sea when they saw that everyone’s favorite freak had returned. Connor had just glued his eyes to the floor and let his hair fall around his face while whispers followed him everywhere.

“Well, this year, we’ll get it right, won’t we Mr. Murphy?”

“Can’t wait,” Connor muttered, leaving without a second glance toward Reyes.

-

Evan was extremely nervous to have a sibling. He had hung out with Jeremy a lot after their parents had started going steady but he was worried about spending a lot of time with another teen boy. What if Jeremy didn’t actually like him or what if he thought Evan was lame? What if he was just being nice while his dad was around but was actually really violent and would go berserk on him?

After meeting him, Evan knew Jeremy wasn’t like that at all, but Evan couldn’t help but feel that way at first. He had never had a brother or a stepbrother before and he didn’t really know what it was going to be like.

Jeremy was funny and nice and asked Evan to play video games with him all the time. Evan really wasn’t good – his hands trembled too much – but he liked spending time with his new little stepbrother. Plus it made his mom happy to see Evan interacting with someone around his own age.

When Evan had heard that their family was all going to be moving in together, he had only freaked out a little. He liked Mr. Heere and Jeremy but spending some time with them was totally different than living with them.

Moving in had gone better than expected. Heidi and Paul had picked a 2 story house within driving distance of the school and Jeremy and Evan each got their own bedrooms. (Evan’s bedroom was painted a soft blue color, while Jeremy had each wall a different color; red, dark blue, light blue, and green.)

They had all worked for several weeks at the end of August; painting, installing, and moving furniture into the house before they were finally able to move in themselves.

The boys had helped carry in each other’s stuff up to their rooms and unpack. Evan had handed thumbtacks to Jeremy when he was putting up his video game posters while Jeremy helped try to fit Evan’s extensive book collection on trees and plants into just one bookcase (it hadn’t worked, there was still a few piles sitting on the floor next to Evan’s bed).

That night they had ordered pizza and sat around their new IKEA dining room table, Heidi and Paul discussing what they should do for curtains and if they should get a mirror for the upstairs hallway.

-

Evan wasn’t looking forward to going back to school at all. It was his senior year and he hated being here. Most people just sort of pretended that Evan didn’t exist, which for the most part, he was happy about. He was so awkward and weird and shaky that it was probably better than people just looked right through him. But…he did kind of wish that he was less like that and maybe someone would see him…if only a little. But that hadn’t happened in the past 3 years, and it wasn’t going to start now.

Jeremy had seemed like a great first step. Evan could show him around the school and they’d sit together at lunch and work on homework in the library. But that all fell apart when Evan learned that Jeremy already had a friend at school. Evan didn’t want to get in the way of them so he resigned himself to keeping his distance so Michael wouldn’t have to deal with Jeremy’s weird older stepbrother.

Evan would just go to school with his head down and try not to draw any attention to himself and hopefully, this last year would go by quickly.

-

It was the morning of the first day of school. Mom called up to Evan, who was sitting on his bed, fiddling up the cast that was wrapped around his left arm and scrolling through his Facebook feed.

“Evan, the counselor wants to see Jeremy before school starts today, would you show him where to go?” Heidi asked.

“Y-Yeah, sure, sounds great,” Evan responded, his mind suddenly deciding to forget where the counselor’s office was in the school.

“Hey, champ, your mom and I were talking and we think should let the other kids sign your cast today at school,” Mr. Heere said from down the hall.

“Okay, Mr. Heere,” Evan laughed awkwardly, a sinking feeling in his gut when he thought about the rejections he was going to face if he tried that.

“Don’t forget about those letters, sweetie! You need to be writing those letter!” Evan’s mom reminded him.

“I know, I’m gonna finish one at school,” Evan replied.

Jeremy appeared at his door.

“You ready to go, dude?” He asked

“Ye-Yeah let’s do it,” Evan said.

Evan and Jeremy agreed on walking since it was better than riding the bus or having one of their parents drop them off. Evan couldn’t drive yet. Or rather he could be, but driving sent Evan into a panic, so he tried to avoid it as much as possible. It was embarrassing, being the only senior at school who didn’t drive in.

Jeremy and Evan had talked for a bit while walking to school, but both of them were too nervous to really hold a coherent conversation.

Once they go to the biggest building on campus, Evan led him down a few hallways until they headed into an office that had a handful of smaller offices inside it.

Evan turned to him and gave an awkward half-smile, before sputtering out, “O-Okay, so, here’s the guidance counseling center. Mr. Reyes is in –uh yeah he’s in that room.”

Evan pointed to a room that said 439, the door was wide open, “He’s really nice but kind of –kinda weird but everything should be all good. You can text me later if you want…or you don’t have to.”

“Okay, thanks, Evan.” Jeremy said, “See you later?”

“Yeah, see you later.” Evan nodded and waved, looking at the ground, before turning around and leaving the office.

Evan walked out into the hallway and kept his eyes locked on the ground until he saw a pair of brown boots stop in front of him. Evan looked up and saw Alana Beck, the overachieving Harvard bound student, standing in front of him.

“Hey! How was your summer?” She asked with a bright smile.

Evan looked behind him for a second, making sure she wasn’t talking to someone else.

“Mine was-” He started but Alana cut him off. Evan’s summer wasn’t that interesting so it was okay.

“Mine was productive. I did 3 internships and 90 hours of community service. I know, wow.”

“Wow, that’s really-” Evan tried again.

“Even though I was so busy I still made some great friends, or acquaintances, and even started dating someone.”

Evan pressed his lips together. Alana had started dating Zoe Murphy, Evan’s long-time crush. Well, ex-crush. Ever since he had found out about Zoe and Alana, his feelings had fallen away and he accepted that Zoe would have never wanted him, even if Alana hadn’t swooped in.

Evan tried to clear his head of the thoughts and suddenly remembered what Mr. Heere had said this morning.

“Do you maybe wanna – that’s um – I’m sorry I don’t know what you’re um if you have to – do you wanna just sign my cast?” Evan pulled a marker out of his pocket and stuck out his injured arm out in front of him.

“Oh my god,” Alana exclaimed, very concerned, “What happened to your arm?”

“Oh well, I broke it. I was climbing a tree –” Evan started to explain.

“Oh really?” Alana interrupted him again, “Zoe, my girlfriend, told me that she broke her 3 of her fingers while playing lacrosse a few years ago.”

Evan stood there awkwardly, not really sure what to say. He already knew that, but he didn’t want to let Alana know then have her tell Zoe then Zoe think he was a freak. Evan if he didn’t like her like that anymore…he didn’t want her to think that.

“Happy first day!” Alana’s smile returned to her face and she walked away. Evan waved as she went but he was pretty sure she didn’t see him.

Evan blinked and Jared was in her place, poking his chest.

“Is it weird to be the first person in history to break their arm from jerking off too much or do you consider that an honor?” Jared asked.

Evan blushed and recoiled slightly from Jared’s touch.

“No, stop, no, I wasn’t-I wasn’t doing that.” Evan’s words stumbled awkwardly out.

“Paint me the picture, you’re in your bedroom, you got Zoe Murphy’s Instagram pulled up on your weird off brand cell phone...”

Evan shushed him, “That’s not what happened. Obviously, I was just well, I was-”

“That’s a great story Evan, but I actually gotta go. Some new kid needs me to hold his hand around campus and last time I skipped my detention work, Mrs. Mooney called my mom.” Jared rolled his eyes.

“Oh, must be Jeremy…how’d you have detention?” Evan asked

“You mean your new little brother your mom adopted cuz she needed a son that doesn’t jerk off to younger girls?” Jared asked with a toothy grin, ignoring Evan’s question.

“I don’t even like Zoe anymore” Evan blushed, “Besides she’s with Alana now and there’s no way I could compete with someone like her anyway…she did 90 hours of community service.”

Jared snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Great well, while you have a meltdown, I’m gotta piss like a racehorse.” Jared started to walk away.

“Do-Do you wanna sign my cast?” Evan asked, pulling the marker back out of his pocket.

“Why are you asking me?” Jared said, his face looked almost disgusted.

“Well, I just thought cuz we’re friends.” Evan’s voice broke a little on the last two words.

“We’re family friends. That’s a whole different thing and you know it.” Jared explained to him for about the millionth time.

Evan hated when Jared said that. If he didn’t, at least Evan could pretend they were actually friends. Jared said something else but Evan didn’t even really catch it, mind still harping on “family friends”. He slipped the marker back into his pocket, resigned to the fact that no one was going to sign his cast and he’d have to explain it to his mom and Mr. Heere.

“Cool. I’m gonna go now.” Jared said and Evan gave a small wave as he watched him leave.

-

Jeremy finally made his way to the main entrance of the school. It was hard getting through the crowded hallways. Jeremy looked around for a second, realizing he had no idea what this person looked like that he was supposed to meet. Maybe he should go back up and ask Mr. Reyes who he was looking for?

Jeremy shuddered at the thought and shook his head. He’d just wait over by the wall with the trophy cases and hope that the person would find him. Maybe it’d be a cute girl and she’d show him around and maybe she’d think he was cute and ask him to sit with her at lunch or maybe –

He felt a tap on his shoulder and he jumped.

Jeremy spun around to find a guy wearing a purple button up with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt on underneath. He wore large-framed glasses, blue headphone around his neck, and a smug smile.

He stuck out his hand and Jeremy almost jumped at the quick movement.

“Jared Kleinman. Hi. I’m supposed to show you around.”

Jeremy shook his hand and nodded. “I’m Jeremy.”

“Great. Well, Jeremy here’s the breakdown.” Jared rubbed his hands together and led Jeremy down the hall.

“To the left, we have the overachievers. Get a 4.0 and join the chess club and you can be a loser just like them.” Jared laughed, gesturing towards a group of kids, waiting anxiously in front of the library, the librarian looking like he was taking forever to unlock the door. They were all carrying textbooks, handfuls of flashcards, and oversized Starbucks coffee cups.

“Over here we have the theater kids.” Jared pointed at a group of people animatedly talking over each other.

“Who uses On My Own as an audition song anymore? Like God, can you be any more basic?!” A boy from the group asked loudly and the group roared with laughter.

“One-way ticket to getting called gay.” Jared snorted and led him further down the hallway.

“Let’s see, who else do we have?” Jared said glancing around before leading them out a side door that led to an open courtyard of sorts.

Jared led him over to a table full of kids on laptops, “This is the hyperintelligent, insanely cool computer and graphics club.”

The group seemed to glare at Jared, but he only responded with a half-smile and a, “Hey guys. How ya doin’?”

No one responded and Jared’s smile dropped as they walked away.

“Yesterday I was their God,” Jared muttered

“What happened?” Jeremy asked.

“One of those assholes started a rumor that I…use Artweaver instead of PhotoShop,” Jared grumbled.

Jeremy raised his eyebrows, “So they kicked you out?”

“Hostile takeover.  But don’t worry.  They’ll pay. Now over here...” Jared pointed to a group of teens clad in dark clothes, “Are your basic burn-outs. Skip class, bully others, sell drugs, but mostly…”

“Smoke a lot of weed?” Jeremy asked with a laugh.

Jared stopped walking and his eyes widened. Jeremy stopped as well and tried to find what Jared was fixated on.

“Hey, Connor! Loving the new hair length. Very school shooter chic.” Jared called to a kid walking across the courtyard in front of them.

The kid stopped and turned to look at Jared. Jeremy recognized him as the guy he almost ran into when leaving the guidance counselor's office. The kid, Connor, didn’t respond to Jared, just fixed him with a frightening glare.

“I was just…kidding,” Jared said, with a smile, trying to play it cool, but Jeremy could tell he was at least a little freaked out, “It’s a joke.”

Connor just glared at Jared then turned away.

“You such a…freak,” Jared called after him with a smirk before grabbing Jeremy’s arm and pulling him back towards the building.

“That’s the school’s resident sociopath, Connor. Stay away from him at all costs or he’ll probably murder you.”

Jeremy nodded, honestly believing him. That dude seemed like he had serious issues.

“I guess there’s really only one important group I haven’t gotten to yet,” Jared said gesturing towards a group of people standing around a water fountain, all talking and looking beautiful and popular.

A pretty girl on the taller side with long brown hair was talking to a cute girl with blonde hair and a large yellow sweater hanging off her arms. Next to them was another girl with long brown hair furiously texting on her phone and looking like she was going crazy not getting to talk in the conversation that was going on between the first two girls.

“So Jenna said Madeline was all “I’ll only have sex with you if you beat me at pool.” And then she lost at pool. Deliberately.” The tall brunette explained

“That is so cool” The short blonde replied in a dreamy voice.

“Brooke!” The other girl scoffed.

“I mean slutty!” Brooke, apparently, corrected herself.

The girl who stood off to the side quickly interjected with an “and then Madeline was all –” but she was quickly cut off by the first girl.

“I’m telling this story, Jenna!”

Jared snickered at the interaction that was playing out in front of them.

“Over there you’ve got your basic beautiful people. Now listen. Unless they talk to you first, don’t bother.”

“That your rule or theirs?” Jeremy said, trying to joke.

“Cute,” Jared said, giving an unamused smile.

Jeremy stopped in his tracks. Jeremy couldn’t tear his eyes away from a guy that had turned the corner and was making his way down the hallway. He was tall, his hair was styled perfectly, and he dressed in a sporty red jacket and tattered jeans. He swaggered and exuded confidence and it was obvious every single person was watching him. Jeremy felt his face heat up just from looking at someone so attractive.

“Who is that?” Jeremy whispered in awe

“Dude, that’s Jake Dillinger, he’s pretty cool,” Jared explained with yet another smirk.

“What group is he in?” Jeremy asked

“The “don’t even think about it cuz it’s never gonna happen” group.” Jared laughed and slapped his hand against Jeremy’s shoulder.

Jeremy blushed and watched Jake strut down the hallway. He thought he heard Jared say something under his breath about everyone at the school being gay, but he couldn’t be sure.

[disappearingground]

Jenny Lewis Starts Over

Rolling Stone March 5, 2019

After saying goodbye to her mother and a 12-year relationship, an indie-rock icon finds a new clarity in art and life

By Jonah Weiner

There are 19 white stickers arranged across Jenny Lewis’ fridge. Each one carries a stamped date, the logo of Providence Holy Cross Medical Center, the word VISITOR and, in Lewis’ handwriting, a different beguiling little phrase: I taught him how to 2-step; Rosey posey put your snake finger on; You are a sunshine in a fruit. “Every day that I visited my mom in the hospital,” Lewis says, “I’d get one of these and write down something she’d say to me. She got more and more psychedelic as we kept upping the meds, and she’d say the most amazing things.” Lewis points at one — Glue me to the ceiling so you never leave — and sighs. “She had liver cancer. From untreated hepatitis C. She was a lifelong heroin addict and also mentally ill and . . . just a really sad situation.”

It’s a drizzly evening in early January, and Lewis is at her home in Los Angeles, drinking gamay wine and discussing things she’s never discussed publicly before. Some listeners over the years may have noticed scattered allusions in her songs to her mother’s troubles and the painful outlines of their relationship. In 2002, on an early album by her first band, Rilo Kiley, she described a mother who was “insane and high.” In 2006, on her debut solo album, Rabbit Fur Coat, she sang, “Where my ma is now, I don’t know/She was living in her car, I was living on the road/And I hear she’s putting that stuff up her nose.” But Lewis has always been careful to let these lyrics speak mostly for themselves. When people ask about them, she’s frequently emphasized that the line between memoir and fiction in her songwriting is a slippery one. “Sometimes I don’t even remember what actually happened,” she says now, “and the song takes on its own life.”

On Lewis’ new record, On the Line, her mother appears again. This time she is in a hospital bed “under a cold white sheet,” and there’s no fiction at work. The earliest sticker on the fridge is dated August 20th, 2017, and by the end of October, at age 70, Linda Lewis was dead.

“We were estranged for 20 years, so this was the first time we’d hung out in two decades,” the 43-year-old singer-songwriter continues. “She was very sick, but I think she held on so we could have time to reconcile, and it created an opportunity for forgiveness. She didn’t have to say, ‘I’m so sorry’ —she said it by saying, ‘You’re a sunshine in a fruit.’ That was her way of saying ‘I love you.’ ”

Lewis started out as a kid actor, appearing on Eighties-era sitcoms like Life With Lucy, opposite Lucille Ball, and in movies like Troop Beverly Hills and The Wizard, opposite Fred Savage. By her twenties she’d all but quit acting and become a burgeoning indie-rock icon instead, known for her clarion voice, her killer ear for melody and her knack for evocative storytelling in a tweaked Americana style. Whereas Lewis’ last musical project, an ad hoc collaboration from 2016 called Nice as Fuck, was stripped down and upbeat, On the Line contains the most lush and melancholy music she’s ever made. The album has a grand rock sound — stately pianos, swelling strings, fuzzy electric guitar. Lewis cut its 11 songs at the venerable Capitol Studios in L.A. over just a few days last year, but she began writing them in this house in 2014, not long before her 12-year relationship with the Scottish-American musician Johnathan Rice deteriorated. She finished writing them after her bedside reconciliation with her mom.

Lewis gives the fridge a final look before turning out of the kitchen. “I wonder how long I’ll leave these up here,” she says.

Addiction, sobriety and self‑medication are running themes throughout On the Line. There are references to red wine, weed, grenadine, heroin, bourbon, Paxil, Marlboros, cognac, Candy Crush and, on the song “Party Clown,” a hallucinogenic Fuji apple. “Somehow I think the worst one of them all is Candy Crush,” Lewis says with a grin. “My mom started taking heroin when I was two or three, probably. So, growing up like that, there’s a realization that nothing is for free, and everything catches up with you — if you try to numb out, eventually you’re gonna have to face whatever it is you’re running away from.” She pauses. “I don’t have any judgment about it. Even with my mom: She did whatever she had to do, and she wasn’t able to kick it. Most people don’t make it out of heroin addiction. I don’t really blame her for it.”

Wine in hand, wearing a satiny cowgirl shirt and a bandanna tied around her neck that’s nearly the same shade of red as her hair, Lewis shows me around the house. Situated near leafy Laurel Canyon, it was built by a Disney animator in the Forties, and his touch is everywhere — delicate, hand-painted flowers on a wall here, trompe l’oeil flagstones on the floor there. In the living room a projector is playing the X-rated 1968 film The Girl on a Motorcycle, which stars Marianne Faithfull and is alternatively titled Naked Under Leather. Lewis has been on a leather kick recently, she says, showing me a photo-heavy 1977 book called Hard Corps: Studies in Leather and Sadomasochism that she recently scored on eBay. “I keep my whips and chains out in the pool house,” she says with a cackle.

Off the living room is the wood-paneled chamber where Lewis rehearses and writes. There’s a drum kit, a Wurlitzer organ and a little gas stove in the corner. Outside, near the pool, there’s a koi pond and a rose garden, all of it put in by the animator. Down the hall, there’s a roller-derby-themed pinball machine from around 1990 that periodically flashes the words WINNERS DON’T DO DRUGS in LED lights. Opposite the pinball is an enormous old promotional cutout for The Wizard, depicting Savage as an adolescent wearing a Nintendo Power Glove and an adolescent Lewis in acid-washed denim overalls. “This was at the movie theater in Van Nuys where I grew up — my mom made me go in and ask for it,” Lewis says. “My sister had it in storage, then had it framed for me and rented a truck to bring it over here. I wasn’t OK with this for many years, because early on in the history of my band, people would yell video-game references at me from the crowd. Now I just can’t believe that this is part of my weird story.”

She says she loved being on Hollywood sets as a kid, for complicated reasons. “I guess I liked being in that environment because it wasn’t home — it was this pretend-family vibe. My dad wasn’t around, so every time I got a job I kind of fell in love with ‘my father’ on set. I would just want that relationship.” (Her real-life dad, a musician named Eddie Gordon, was absent for most of her life, though he came back into Lewis’ orbit shortly before his own death, playing harmonica on her second solo album, 2008’s Acid Tongue.) Lewis’ off-set life in that era was consistently chaotic: “I think my mother was selling coke in the early Eighties,” she says. “She may have been Ricky Nelson’s dealer. And she was using the money I was making and parlaying it into her business. I’d come home from school and there’d be racks of fur coats, Krugerrands, boxes of Vuarnet sunglasses. All these bulk items in the house, drugs cooking on the stove, people coming in and out. Really interesting characters. I remember we had a Honda Civic, and one day it disappeared. Years later, I learned that someone had torched it as a warning to my mom. There was crazy shit going on.”

Lewis says that her elder sister, Leslie, became something like a proxy mother to her in their actual mother’s stead, and when Jenny co-founded Rilo Kiley with some L.A. buddies in the late Nineties, “that was my first chosen family.” Over the years she’d host jam sessions at home, inviting over members of like-minded acts such as Haim, Dawes and Conor Oberst, here and elsewhere in L.A. “I’ve always brought that jam vibe with me wherever I go,” Lewis says. “I feel compelled to play music, to play with people, or I’ll go crazy.”

In 2015, having split up with Rice for reasons we don’t get into, Lewis went to New York, crashing at the empty apartment of her friend Annie Clark, a.k.a. St. Vincent. “I couldn’t stay in this house,” Lewis says. “Johnathan and I were basically married. When you’re with someone that long, you share consciousness with them. I didn’t finish any of my stories — Johnathan finished every story for me. So part of the reason I went to New York was to find my inner monologue. I wanted to know what that voice was.”

The result, some three years later, is On the Line. Lewis made it with a particularly impressive surrogate family whose members included not only Beck and Ryan Adams, with whom she’d worked before, but also an older generation of studio pros: Rolling Stones producer Don Was, Heartbreakers keyboardist Benmont Tench, session drummer Jim Keltner (sideman for John Lennon, Bob Dylan and Steely Dan) and — to her delight and surprise — Ringo Starr. “He was cool — he just showed up one day with a smoothie and did double-drums with Jim on two songs,” Lewis says, adding that she’s not totally sure why the former Beatle came aboard. “I think Don Was showed him some of the songs, invited him to come down, and he was into it.”

[Editors’ note: This story went to press before the February 13th publication of a New York Times report on accusations of sexual misconduct by Ryan Adams. In a February 15th tweet, Lewis made the following statement: “I am deeply troubled by Ryan Adams’ alleged behavior. Although he and I had a working professional relationship, I stand in solidarity with the women who have come forward.”]

A decade-plus into her solo career, Lewis found herself trying new things in the studio. Keeping things spontaneous was a priority: She recorded all her vocal tracks live while playing her instruments, rather than tracking them in later. When Beck inserted a bit of placeholder Auto-Tune on a song called “Little White Dove,” Lewis decided she loved it and kept it in unchanged. (It reminded her of the Detroit rapper DeJ Loaf, whose single “Try Me” Lewis adores.) When it came to mixing, she says she took inspiration from Kanye West’s Ye — clearing out the midrange, focusing on the low end and the highs.

She sits on an oversize armchair in her living room and looks around the house. These days she splits time between L.A. and Nashville, where she jams with a whole other group of friends, including Karen Elson. Three years since her breakup, Lewis says, “I know how to take care of myself. It’s been really lonely, and really hard at times, and to go through the stuff with my mom alone—”

She starts to cry, untying her neckerchief and using it to blot her tears. “This is why I wear a bandanna,” she jokes. “But that’s the thing: I had to visit her, then come home and be alone and process my life with her.”

On the wall in front of her, Marianne Faithfull is making love to Alain Delon, but Lewis isn’t paying attention. “Life is crazy, but it’s incredible,” she goes on. “How amazing to see someone pass over. It’s magical. It’s the most intimate. It’s like a poem, and you don’t know the last line until you get there. But you show up.”