#my dad never taught us any Spanish

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

Quin puerto rican confirmed?

Partially :D on my dad’s side

I was raised American though

[veryintricaterituals]

I am Jewish, what does that mean?

I was born in Colombia on the 49th anniversary of Hitler's suicide, I was raised here but I lived in Israel for about four years. I am not white, I don't look white, and my first language is Spanish. I came back to Colombia three years ago because of the pandemic.

I grew up Jewish and swallowed all the pro-Israel propaganda, I moved there looking for better opportunities and somewhere safe where I could come out of the closet. It took me less than a month to understand where I really had ended up in. It wasn't so different from my own colonized third world country filled with violence.

I did my best, I voted against the current Israeli government four separate times, I worked with and was great friends with many Palestinians and Arab Israelis (there unfortunately is a difference), I went to protests, I donated blood, I donated food and money. I fucking hate Netanyahu with all my heart.

For two years I taught English at a low income school in Jerusalem where all my students were mizrahi jews (from Arab countries) whose families had been kicked out of various surrounding countries in the 20th century. When I spoke to their parents and grandparents they talked about Iran, Morroco, Egypt, Yemen, with such longing and they brought me the most delicious foods. (Two of my students were killed two weeks ago, kids, barely 18 now, much younger when I taught them, I remember them).

My great grandmother on my mom's side was born in Jerusalem and raised in Egypt until all Jews were expelled and she had to flee with my newborn grandfather. They ended up in Colombia because she spoke ladino (Jewish dialect that is close to Spanish) they were undocumented, without a nationality because Egypt had rejected them, they had to lie and pay for falsified documents in order to get a passport, I still have a Red Cross passport in my house with my grandfather's name that determines he has no home country.

My great grandparents on my dad's side were born and raised in Bielorrusia and had to escape with my newborn paternal grandfather from the progroms after they destroyed their shtetl, they tried to make it to the US but they wouldn't take any more Jews so they ended up in Colombia.

My great grandmother on my paternal side was born in Romania, at the age of 12 she got on a boat with her 15 year old cousin, not knowing where it would take them. Her parents had both died and antisemitism was on the rise. She was so afraid that they were going to send her back that she threw her passport (that said JEW in capital letters) into the sea when they arrived at the port of a country she had never heard of, to this day we don't know when her birthday was.

My maternal grandmother is Colombian, she was born and raised here, Catholic until she converted to marry my grandfather, and yet when I went looking up our family tree I found we came from Sephardic Jews that had been expelled from Spain almost 500 years ago by the inquisition.

There are less than 400 Jews in my city that homes over 4 million people. My synagogue has been closed since October 12th, our president has equated all of Israel with Nazism on multiple occasions in the last few weeks. The kids that go to our tiny Jewish school have stopped wearing the uniform so that they cannot be identified. Ours is one of the countries with the least amount of antisemitism in the world. Someone in my university saw my Magen David necklace and screamed at me to go back where I came from. I went online and saw countless posts telling Israelis to do the same.

I am Jewish, I am latina, I am gay. My story is complicated, my relationship with my community is complicated, my relationship with my country is complicated. My relationship with G-d is complicated, my relationship with Israel is incredibly complicated. My history is complicated.

I am Jewish. What does that mean?

[musings-of-a-rose]

Jump Then Fall - Part 2

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc “Vanessa Morales”

Word Count: 5100+

Rating: M for mature - 18+ only!

Warnings: Please be aware there is an 11 year age gap. Mature themes and some canon mentioned. Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: This one doesn’t have any Javier, but I promise the rest of them will! When the story starts, Vanessa is 19 and Javier is 30.

**Shoutout to @vanemando15 for listening and bouncing ideas from me, for holding my hand, and for her guidance with being a Latina herself. Without her, this wouldn’t even be a thing, just another line on my WIP spreadsheet. And also to my husband, who is also Latino and answered any questions I had (along with taking me to Colombia back in 2014). And to @wyn-n-tonic, who listened to my rambles and insecurities about writing an oc in first person.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

Jump Then Fall Masterlist

General Masterlist

Javier Peña Masterlist

<<Part 1<<

The drive back to Corpus Christi was uneventful, although my thoughts were anything but. Memories of the night before kept flashing through my mind, the way he touched me, made me feel, the way his nose just barely skirted across my skin, the way he nipped at my chin. The care he gave me and how he took his time when he found out I was inexperienced, rather than running away. There was much more to Javier Peña than what was on the surface, one quick glance into his deep brown eyes was enough to convince me of that. Which made me sad, considering I’d never see him again. 

I blink and I’m in the driveway, putting the car into park. I have no memory of the drive here, which is slightly terrifying. But before I can think any more on that, my mother comes running out of the house, taking my face in her hands and saying a quick prayer in Spanish to bless my safe return before kissing me on both cheeks. It’s then she looks over my shoulder and realizes no one else is in the car with me.

“Did you drive alone, mija?”

Time to lie. “No. I dropped off some people just past Laredo.”

Her face relaxes. “Oh good. I’m glad you made friends.” She claps her hands together. “Come! Tell us all about your trip while you help me with dinner.”

I tell my parents all about my time in Mexico, how I not only taught English but helped to build the church and the school house, how I made some friends and how others got called to another mission.

“The university wants to talk to me tomorrow and talk about the summer. To see if they should continue the program.”

My dad smiles at me. “We are so proud of you, mi niña. Setting such a good example to others.”

“Speaking of good examples…Miguel is still single.”

“Mami!” I blush, heat rising up my cheeks at the mention of Miguel. She had been trying to get us together for years, but neither of us had feelings beyond friendship. 

She points at me. “Miguel es un buen muchacho [Miguel is a good boy]. When will you see that and go on a date with him? I want nietos already.”

I groan. “Mami! I’m not ready for kids right now.”

She looks at me, waving her hand. “No entiendo Vanessa [I don’t understand] . By your age, I was already engaged to your father.”

—-

My life settled back into its normal monotonous routine: class, job, home, sleep. Repeat. I never realized exactly how boring my life was until I had spent the summer in Mexico. 

More like, until I spent the night with Javier.

I wonder where he is now. Is he still on his business trip? It’s been just over a month since we had our…meet. I got the feeling he was going to be gone for a while and that he either wouldn’t or couldn’t talk about it. Maybe he’s a spy? I chuckle at the thought. Wherever he is, I hope he’s doing well. 

Based on my report, the university decides to repeat the program the following summer with new teachers and asks me to give a little seminar on what I did, what to expect, what to pack, and everything that I think they should know. I have to admit, it was nerve wracking getting up in front of everyone. I felt nauseous all day thinking about getting on that stage and talking. But everyone was interested and asked great questions, immediately putting me at ease. My professors thanked me for everything and said they’d be in touch with me about possibly returning the next summer. I’d never really thought about going back, but the thought is definitely tempting. 

And maybe I can stop in Laredo on the way back. No, Vanessa. It was a one time thing. You’re probably making up the connection you felt. There’s no way he felt anything for you. 

—-

A couple months later, my mom calls me down to the kitchen where she’s gathering up her purse, a paper list in her hand. 

“Do you need anything from the store, mija?” 

“I don’t think so. Just….maybe no pork? I can’t stand the smell of it now.”

My mom chuckles. “Mexico really changed you. Carnitas used to be your favorite.”

Even just the thought of pork, which I hadn’t had the entire time I was in Mexico, made my stomach churn. 

“I guess I just got used to not eating it a few times a week.”

She nods and then looks around. Spotting no one, she leans in close to me and nearly whispers. “Do you need more…lady things?”

I furrow my eyebrows together. What is she - oh. My mom was always sort of embarrassed by periods, and so, if she had to talk about it, she would always whisper, afraid anyone would hear her talk about something that is experienced by arguably more than half the planet. 

“Uh, no. I don’t think so?”

“You haven’t gotten any more since Mexico. Do you still have some?”

“Uh…let me check.”

I go upstairs and into my bathroom, kneeling to open the under the sink cabinet. I shuffle some things around and grab the boxes of pads I had put back when I returned from Mexico. There’s a bunch left, almost as if I hadn’t used any since I got back.

Had I used any since I got back?

I close the doors and head back to my mom, telling her I was still good with pads. She looks slightly relieved at not having to traverse the feminine hygiene isle, giving me a small smile and squeezing my shoulder. 

“When I get back, I’ll need help with dinner.”

I don’t mind helping with dinner, as I do like to eat, but I wish she’d stop asking me about Miguel. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Miguel was now dating Maria - they just weren’t telling anyone yet. I wasn’t supposed to know either, but I went into the church storeroom one day to grab a few extra Bibles and I saw them making out. Which immediately made me think of Javier, the place between my thighs tingling at the mere thought of his name. I wish I knew more about him- no, Vanessa. Don’t go down that path any more.

“...you invite Miguel over after church?”

“Hhmm?” I hadn’t been listening to anything my mom had been saying.

“Miguel. Why don’t we invite him to our after church lunch?”

“Uh..no. Miguel won’t want to do that.”

She looks at me out of the corner of her eye as she continues chopping.. “And why not? You are a beautiful girl, smart. You would have good babies-”

“He’s already with Maria, mom.”

She stops chopping and looks at me. “Maria?”

“Delgado.”

“Ay. That girl is bad news.”

“Miguel seems to like her.”

“Ah, well..men can be blind.”

—-

“We’re going to be late, mija! Hurry up!”

“Just a minute!” I yell, desperately trying to zip up my church dress. 

I wear this one often but it had been a few weeks and for some reason, the zipper won’t budge. I let out a puff of air in frustration, yanking the dress back down my body. Now that the dress is off my body, I look at the zipper, seeing no fabric stuck in it. I try to zip it closed and it glides easily up. 

“Oh sure. Now you want to zip.”

I toss it on my bed, turning back towards my closet when I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I stand there in my bra and underwear, looking at my body. Did I…did I gain weight? I haven’t changed my eating. If anything, I’ve been eating less. I turn to the side, my hands gliding over the skin on my lower stomach. I can see a small pooch there and I grunt in confusion. How did I gain weight if I’ve been avoiding so much food? 

“Vanessa!”

I poke my head out of my door. “I’m not feeling well, mom. I’m going to stay home.”

She pauses. “You shouldn’t miss church.”

“I don’t want to get everyone sick.”

She pauses again and I swear I can hear her nod. “Ok. We will be back after lunch. I’ll bring you back some soup.”

“Thanks, mom.”

I hear the door downstairs close, the car pulling out of the driveway and driving off down the road. I wait about 15 minutes before I pull on whatever clothes I can find that fit me, grabbing my wallet and keys before getting in my car. I have to get some stomach medicine or something. I head to the pharmacy, thankful that the people I know who work here are all at church. I don’t want anyone to see me buying medicine to stop me throwing up my insides. I scan the rows of bottles for the ones for upset stomach. I grab one, flipping the box over for directions, my lips moving with the words as I read them.

“.....as long as symptoms persist. If symptoms worsen or do not improve after 3 days, call your doctor right away. Do not use if pregnant or breastfeeding. May cause interactions with certain medications…”

I freeze, my eyes rewinding the words I just read.

“Do not use if pregnant or breastfeeding….pregnant…pregnant…”

My brain kicks into high gear, and I stare at the bottle, not really seeing it. The boxes of pads that were sitting unused from my time in Mexico still sit unused under my sink. My aversion to foods I normally loved. The fact I can only keep about half of my food down. The weight gain despite this. My lower belly…my hand instinctively comes up to my belly, placing my hand there for a moment as panic starts to set in.

Could I be…no. Javier used a condom. He showed me as he did it. That’s supposed to prevent…prevent…

I grip the bottle of medicine in my hand, knuckles going white. Slowly, I turn and head out of the isle, looking for the one with the women’s products. I turn it down, grateful that it’s empty. I stand in front of the pads, pretending I’m looking for some while my eyes scan down the rows of pregnancy tests. It’s all overwhelming and I can feel the panic rising rapidly in my body. I quickly grab a box at random, hiding it under my arm as I make my way up to the register. No one is in line and I don’t know the cashier. I place the bottle of medicine and the pregnancy test on the counter, looking around nervously for anyone I may know. If the cashier thought anything of my purchase, they didn’t show it, scanning the items and quickly placing them in a bag as I handed them cash. 

When I get home, I run upstairs, locking my bathroom door behind me just in case my parents come back early. My parents. What am I going to say to them? One step at a time, Vanessa. You may just have some weird stomach thing. I take a breath and open the bag, setting the bottle down on the counter and pulling out the small box of pregnancy tests. I throw up once more before opening the box and pulling out the directions, reading them several times through tear blurred vision. I somehow manage to pee on the stick, setting it aside and looking at my watch to check the time. 

This has got to be the slowest 3 minutes of my life. 

When I check my watch and it’s finally time, I take a deep breath before…taking another deep breath. And then I flip the test over. 2 bright pink lines stare up at me and I hold the stick against the directions comparing them. Double lines means pregnant. Pregnant. I’m pregnant. 

I drop the stick, sinking down to the floor as I put my back against the wall. How am I pregnant? I only ever had sex with Javier and that was only one time. And he wore one of those condoms. Aren’t they supposed to stop people from having babies? Wait, if I’ve been pregnant since then, I’m like 3 months along. I should be making a doctor’s appointment. What doctor can I go to that doesn’t know my parents? 

My parents.

There’s no way I’m going to be able to hide a baby from them. How do I explain it? Hey mom, dad. I met a stranger in Laredo and we had sex and now I’m pregnant even though he wore a condom. 

What do I do?

—--

I spent the next 2 weeks trying to figure out what I was going to do. I wasn’t sure how my parents would react, considering they did want grandkids. But there’s no way they’re going to approve of this baby. In case of the worst, I start gathering up little things here and there - a few random pieces of clothes, the toiletry kit I had brought to Mexico, some little trinkets. I managed to sneak them down to my car, leaving them in the trunk in case I had to leave quickly. I really hope it didn’t come to that. But when I could no longer zip up my favorite pair of pants, I knew I had to tell them. 

We all sit down to dinner, mom passing out plates and filling my papá’s plate with a large portion of food. Once everyone is settled, and grace is said, I clear my throat, my mom glancing up at me as she picks up her fork. 

“I uh…I have to tell you something.”

My papá spears some food on his fork and takes a bite, chewing as he turns his head towards me, a questioning look on his face. 

“Did that Miguel finally get rid of Maria?” My mom asks.

“What? No. I don’t know? That’s not-”

“I knew that girl was trouble. Always showing off in choir. You know, her mom said she got some fancy scholarship to a music school, but here she is, still here. I wonder why-”

“Mami. I need to say something.”

“-why she’s still here? She probably stayed for that boy. Maybe it’s good-”

“MAMI!”

“-good that Miguel didn’t ask Vanessa out. Maybe he’s no good-”

“I’m pregnant.”

Silence. You could hear the grass growing outside it’s so quiet. My parents stare at me, the fork halfway to my papá’s open mouth. 

“What?” My mom asks.

I hesitate a moment. “I’m…I’m pregnant.”

“That’s not funny, Vanessa. Don’t you joke about something like this. You know I don’t like the humor you young people think is funny.”

I look down at my plate before looking back at her. “I’m not…I’m not joking.”

Silence again. No movement. But I can feel the disappointment, the anger building in them.

“I’m about…3 months? I think?”

Still silence.

“I only just found out.” I cast my eyes down, looking at my plate of untouched food and realize that half of it I actually want to eat, while the other half makes me want to run to the bathroom. 

“Salga [Get out].” He says it quietly, but his tone has layers of anger, hurt, and disappointment all trying to bubble out.

I look up, surprised that it’s my papi saying it. 

“What?”

“Salga. Yo no te quiero en esta casa. [Get out. You are no longer welcome in this house].”

“But papi-”

“Don’t! Largarte!  Now.”

I glance at my mom, who has tears in her eyes. She gives me a look of utter disgust and looks away from me, showing her support of her husband’s decision. 

I stand, pushing the chair away from the table. “Can I just grab some thing-”

“You should have thought of that before you opened yourself up for a man. What were you thinking? You are no longer a daughter of mine!”

My papi’s words slice through me like butter, stabbing me so hard that tears start to fall before I even know they’re there. I walk to the front door, pausing only to put on my shoes before getting in my car and driving about a block before I sit at the stop sign. I knew deep down this may be their reaction, which is why I started packing my trunk. But it still hurts. I need my parents right now, but…

Where do I go?

I turn left, driving a few blocks to knock on my friend Ximena’s door. But instead of my friend, her mom comes to the door, a stern look on her face as she shoos me away, telling me I’m not welcome in their home. I’m met with the same reaction at the next 3 places I go and I realize that my parents must have called everyone we knew to tell them not to let me in, that I had done something so terrible. I doubt they told anyone the truth, that their only child was unwed, single, and pregnant, but our church community is so strong, they apparently didn’t need more than my parent’s word to kick me out. 

I stop at a little diner across town, a burger actually sounding really good to me. As I eat, I think about what to do next. It’s getting late, and while I could rent a hotel room, I won’t have enough money to do that for very long. I have no friends left in Corpus Christi, that much is clear. So…where do I go? As I eat and let the tears fall, I think about that night, about Javier. And I realize, there’s only one place left for me to go, even if it’s just until I get on my feet. I finish eating, leaving money on the table for the bill and tip, and head out to my car. It’s a 4 hour drive there, which I can’t do in the dead of night. I drive to the highway and find the closest motel, getting a room for the night that I can cry myself to sleep in.

—----

The next day, I start the drive to Laredo, oddly calm considering the situation. I can do this next step - get to Laredo. I’ll ask around for Javier and see if anyone knows where he lives. I don’t expect anything from him, and I’ll tell him as much. But I would appreciate a place to stay while I figure out where to go next. 

After a few bathroom stops, I finally make it to Laredo, finding the bar I had met Javier in that night. It’s not open for a few hours, so I take that time to have some lunch and a short nap in my car, waking to the sound of the main door closing. I walk up to it and push it open, walking inside. The bartender is cleaning down the bar, getting things set up for the rush in a few hours.

“Excuse me?”

He turns to me, wiping out the glass in his hand.  “Yes, ma’am?”

“I’m looking for a Javier Peña? He’s about this tall-”

The bartender chuckles. “I know Javier. Haven’t seen him in a bit though.”

“Oh.”

The bartender seems to sense my despair and he sets the now clean glass down. “Look, his dad lives on a farm just outside of town. I’ll give you the address and maybe he can tell you where Javier is.” He scribbles down an address on a napkin and hands it to me, giving me a small smile. 

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

—-

I pull up to the Peña farm about 40 minutes later, after the bartender had given me some general directions. It’s not a large farm but it’s not small either, and I think I can see a river in the far distance. I park in front of the farmhouse and get out, smoothing out my dress before walking to the front door and knocking. At first, no one answers. But then I hear clanging coming from the barn around back, so I head in that direction, poking my head just inside the barn door.

“Excuse me?”

The man in the barn stops hammering and turns quickly to look at me, hammer slightly raised in defense. He’s older, a nearly all white mustache with matching hair poking out from under a white cowboy hat, glasses poised on the edge of his nose. His eyes remind me of Javier’s and I realize this must be his dad. 

“You must have taken a wrong turn, señorita. Town is several miles that way.” He points and I give him a small smile.

“Actually…are you señor Peña?”

He studies me for a moment. “Depends. Which Peña are you looking for?”

“Javier’s papá?”

He looks at me, trying to figure out why I would be here talking to him. “He’s not here.”

“Not back from his business trip?”

He shakes his head. “No.”

“Any idea when he will be back?

“No. Probably not anytime soon.”

I nod, my face falling slightly. 

“Can I help you with anything?”

“I uh…I’m not sure. Maybe this was a stupid idea.”

I turn to leave, willing the tears that had been building in my eyes to not fall.

“Wait.”

I stop, looking up at the older Peña. His eyes glance down towards my belly, where I had unconsciously placed my hand. A look of realization washes over him and his kind eyes meet mine, an odd expression in them.

“How old are you?”

“N..nineteen.”

He swears, glancing up at the ceiling before back at me, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. “He’s the father?”

I nod, looking down at the dirt covered floor.

“You’re sure?”

I blus, not able to meet his gaze. “He’s the only one I..I’ve ever…”

He puts his hand up. “Ok ok. I understand.” He takes a deep breath and lets it out. “Are you hungry?”

That was not what I was expecting. “Oh I…I don’t expect anything.”

He smiles and it reaches his eyes, instantly calming me. “You’re not an inconvenience, you’re the mother of my only grandchild. Come.”

He waves his hand for me to follow him, placing the hammer down on his workbench before we head to the main house. It’s a 2 story farm house, sparsley decorated with furniture that he most likely got when Javier was born. It’s worn but well loved and I instantly feel a sense of safety, despite never having been here. He leads me into the kitchen and has me sit at the little island bar while he makes me a simple sandwich, asking me what I’m not eating and what is safe. He slides me a glass or orange juice, saying it was fresh squeezed and good for the vitamin c. I take it, thanking him while I try not to inhale the food, not having eaten in several hours. Chucho clears his throat and I swallow the last bite of my sandwich, looking at him as I take a sip of the juice.

“Did you tell him?”

I set the glass down, spinning it counterclockwise for a moment. “No. I only found out a couple of weeks ago.”

He nods. “How far along?”

“Around 3 and a half months?”

“Have you been to a doctor?”

I shake my head. “Like I said, I only found out a couple weeks ago and my parents kicked me out when they found out so…”

He swears under his breath. ���We need to get you to a doctor.”

“I don’t have the money for that. I don’t have the money for anything. Oh God, I don’t have money! How am I going to…to…”

Tears start flowing out of nowhere, uncontrollable as I sob at this man’s table. Chucho comes to stand next to me, turning my body to hug me as he lets me sob into his shirt. He makes calming sounds, telling me everything will be fine. That I’m not alone. 

“But…but I am alone, Chucho.”

“Not anymore. You have me.”

I look up at him, blinking away the last of my tears. “Oh no, I couldn’t-”

“What did I say earlier? You’re the mother of my only grandchild. Can I assume you have nowhere to stay?”

“I’m ok in my car.”

He gives me a stern look. “That won’t do. You’ll take one of the rooms here.”

I shake my head, starting to wave him off. “Oh, I couldn’t-”

“You can. What you can’t do is live in your car pregnant and with a baby.”

He feels fatherly, warm and safe and I can feel the tears coming on again so I nod, accepting the help that I desperately need. “Th-thank you. I promise I’ll earn my keep.”

He shakes his head. “There’s no need-”

“Please. Let me at least clean and cook? My mami taught me how and I can make really good food.”

“It’s not necessary-”

“Please let me do this?”

He studies me for several long moments. “Alright. But when you’re near your time, you’re going to rest, understand?”

I nod, smiling slightly. “Thank you, Chucho.” I take another sip of my juice while he takes a swig of his beer, the sound of the ticking clock loud in the silence of the house.

“You said Javier won’t be back anytime soon. Can I ask what he does?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

I blush. “Oh, well we uh..didn’t really…he didn’t-”

“Ay I don’t need to know,” he chuckles. “But Javier is in Colombia, working hard to take down Pablo Escobar.”

I spit out my juice, apologizing profusely as I try to dry it up with a paper towel. “He’s what?”

“Yeah. DEA. So when I said it won’t be anytime soon…”

“Was he happy to go?”

“He definitely saw it as a promotion, a chance to go and prove himself.”

I knew about Pablo Escobar of course, but to hear that my Javier- no, not my Javier. Just Javier - was trying to catch him? That is impressive.

“He doesn’t call often, but next time he does, you can tell him about the baby-”

“No!”

Chucho looks at me, straightening himself up and squaring his shoulders. “No?”

I take a breath. “I know I only spent a….little time with Javier, but he seems like the guy to try and be honorable?” Chucho shrugs and nods. “Then I can’t tell him.”

“Why?”

“Because if I do, he’ll come home. And then he will resent us. I can take it, but the baby? I can’t do that to my child. He will resent us both for bringing him home from this huge career move. We are only 2 people. The entire world needs him. Plus, what if....what if he doesn't come back?”

Chucho’s eyes are hard as he processes what I’ve said. “You’re right about Javi, but I still think you should tell him. He deserves to know.”

“I’ll tell him. I will. When he catches Escobar.”

“That could be years, Vanessa.”

I nod. “I know. And I take full responsibility.”

“That you are.”

—----

Chucho holds true to his word, inviting me to live in his home. I cook and clean for him and, even though he grumbles about it, I see him coming to dinner on time more and more, being able to rest after a long day on the farm as opposed to cleaning. As we eat, he tells me more about Javier, his childhood and the man he grew to become. What I don’t tell Chucho is that with every story, even the bad ones, I fall a little harder for his son.

He also works out a deal with a doctor in town so I can get OB care until I can get insurance. One day, he comes home from church with a crib and several boxes of baby stuff, saying the women in his church donated their old baby things to me (he’d told them I was his new live in maid, a young girl who was recently single. Not an exact lie, but they all assumed the man either left me or I was widowed, which made them open their hearts a little more to me). 

He made me stop working so hard around 33 weeks, saying I should’ve stopped sooner. He insists I rest and relax, feed into my nesting instinct. He had cleaned out one of the other rooms to make nursery, putting the crib in there but pulling out an old bassinet from the attic, telling me it was Javier’s. 

Chucho is there holding my hand when I go into labor and is there when my son is born. Javier Alexander Morales Peña came screaming into the world, just as every bit as stubborn as his dad, according to Chucho anyway. Tears well up in his eyes when he holds Alex for the first time, telling him how handsome and strong he is. That he’s truly a Peña man. 

When Alex turns 2, Chucho demands that I go back to school, as I was only a year away from getting my degree in education. He watches Alex at night while I go to school and, a year later, I graduate with my degree, landing a job that coming school year at Laredo Elementary, which gives Alex, who will be 4 soon after, a slot in their pre-k program. 

As Alex grows, he asks about his dad. I decided to tell him the truth - that his dad is a hero, trying to catch a very bad man in another country and that he can’t come back until he does. That the world won’t be safe until the bad man is caught. Alex accepts this and makes up stories about his dad, flying around with a cape and fighting off bad guys to give us all a better world. 

One summer afternoon a couple years later, Alex had just gone off to camp for a couple of weeks. He’s 6 now and “a big boy”, so he begged to go off to a science camp with his friends for a few weeks. It was hard to not have him around, but I knew he was having a great time. I’m elbow deep in sink water, washing the pans from breakfast when the phone rings. Chucho picks it up upstairs after a couple rings and when he doesn’t call for me, I know it’s for him. I finish with the last pan, setting it off to side, sliding my rubber gloves off and reaching for the drying towel. I pick up the pan, drying it off when I hear Chucho coming downstairs. He walks into the kitchen and stands there for a moment watching me.

“Chucho? You ok?”

“I uh…I’m going to the airport.”

“Chucho…Are you finally taking a vacation?”

He gives me a small smile before it leaves his face. “Actually, I’m going to pick up Javier.”

—----

>>Part 3>>

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics

[texanmarcusdavenport]

Mighty Med Headcanons

Gus

Gus is secretly a Perry. They have a lot in common: weird side character that shows up at the most (in)opportune moments, has an unrealistic variety of skills and resources, a past that's WAY too storied to be true yet somehow it is??, and obsessive behavior over their romantic interests (Perry with Douglas & Gus with Jordan). If they're not related, they'd 100% get along like a house on fire if they did meet.

Gus and Oliver are childhood friends of the "our parents forced us to hang out" variety. Oliver is GOBSMACKED that both his parents like Gus better than Kaz. Like. How??

Jordan

Jordan!! I <3 her. There’s a post going around on here that says she should've been in Elite Force instead of AJ & I 100% agree. She does seem like the type that'd be a surprisingly good hacker... and honestly I just really miss her :(

Her & Daniel(le) would get along. I have no proof I just know it. Troublemakers Inc(TM)

Kaz(imieras)

Pansexual & polyamorous. As long as everyone's having fun he's down for whatever

Transfem genderfluid, he/she/it. Starts by calling itself a woman/girl casually until Oliver's like. Kaz is there anything you want to tell me. & Kaz is like pfffft what no that's ridiculous ha ha Oliver I think I'd know if I was transgender. Then Kaz thinks about it & it's like. Damn it.

It/its pronouns also happen via jokes, she's just like. I'm like if a girl were a bug :) or perhaps a small mammal. Until someone calls her 'it' and she's like. Hm. Kinda slaps.

Doesn't even realize she has dysphoria, just starts acting & dressing more feminine when it suits her & 2 years later she's like. Huh. I haven't been avoiding mirrors lately. Wonder what that's about?

Combined-type ADHD

Dyslexic & dysgraphic. Only got through English by the Grace of God (Oliver). But I headcanon that other than spelling & syntax errors he's actually a great writer when he puts the effort in. He'd kill in public speaking but he'd never do that lol.

If she had a Normo job, it'd be firefighter

Oliver

Trans guy, he/him. He & Kaz are transmasc/transfem solidarity. His mom is more supportive than his dad.

OCD, anxiety, autistic. Gets all 3 from his parents which is part of the reason it took so long to get a diagnosis (both of them just thought getting crippling bouts of anxiety was normal).

Aroallo, specifically cupioromantic bisexual... this is so important to me you don't understand. Oliver is a very codependent character and I think learning to live on his own & not be jealous of his friends would be a great character arc for him.

He & Kaz r so fucking queerplatonic don't even get me started. Do Not Seperate Them.

Skylar Storm

Ace lesbian

She's an alien so I don't think she prescribes to human gender roles like. At all. So she's not really "trans" or "cis", but she does use she/xhe pronouns & mostly describe herself as a woman.

Futch Skylar... futch Skylar supremacy!! Has a sort of complicated relationship with presentation and whatnot, human femininity is sort of the norm for Skylarkind as a fashion trend. Xhe and Experion actually were both ostracized for their presentation (butch/trans Experion my beloved <3). I think xhe prefers more masculine dress but in fun styles and colors because, in her words, "practicality doesn't have to be boring".

Skylar Storm is essentially just a stage name, it started as anickname based on a very loose translation of xyr actual name.

Alan Diaz

Trans guy, any pronouns. Mostly because they're confused by language as a concept.

You know how its a running gag in MM that Horace never taught him how to count past eighty? That, but with language. Horace speaks Arabic, Old Castilian, & Mexican Spanish interchangeably so Alan grew up thinking that's just how people talk. Mix that with random alien languages &, well, they're incomprehensible on the best of days.

Doesn't know they're trans. Like they're trans obviously but if you told her that she wouldn't really understand.

Oliver: so you were, uh, born a girl but you're a boy now?

Alan: no, I'm a boy.

Oliver: yeah, obviously, but like, physically--

Alan: What Normo nonsense are you on about.

And it continues like that.

Polysexual, and if xe were married xe'd be a Wife Guy (positive).

[annymation]

for the asks requests:

1: DARIO BACKSTORY NOW

2: I wanna hear abt bravo

3: Florian reaction to everything

4: SYMBOLISM. PLEASE. 🍽️

Oh I actually didn't expect for all of these to be asked all of the same time, as they're kinda long answers... Specially number 3. But I can work with that :)

I think you guys might really like what's down here:

1- What Did Dario Not Tell Them At The Campfire

So when asked if he had any bad experiences with the king, Dario just answered he'd rather not talk about it. The reason isn't because Magnifico did something to him directly, but rather indirectly. See, Dario's dad is the royal announcer and his mother is a singer, both jobs that require their voices, and they value their voices a lot, while Dario was born with a speech impediment.

One day, Dario overheard them talking in their room, and they said how they hoped when Dario turned 18 he'd wish for the king to give him a voice.

Now, to some that may seem like a good wish, "who wouldn't want to have a voice?" you may ask, thing is that most disabled people don't want to be changed, what they want is to be accepted. Obviously though I can't speak for the whole ASL community, however I did study the basics of sign language in college, and my teacher, who is deaf, taught us about deaf culture, and how you shouldn't assume someone WANTS to be like you, to be "Fixed".

Dario didn't want to change himself, but in that moment he felt like his parents saw him as someone broken and hoped the king could fix him...

So yeah I didn't have him explain all that because it's way too depressing even for me.

2- Where Did Bravo Come From

A more wholesome little story with our faaaaaaavorite evil duo! Yay!

So, Amaya often goes to the woods to get ingredients for her potions, mushrooms, herbs, animal parts, you name it. She goes alone, just wearing a hooded cloak so she's not recognized.

One day, during her foraging, she heard a sound coming from behind her:

"Miirrrau!"

It was a quiet, growly meow

And she kept hearing it over and over, like it was asking for help. Now although the queen has a heart as cold as ice, she felt moved by the tiny cries, so she followed them into the woods.

And here's what she found:

"Awwwwwwwn~" Her iced heart melted at the sight of what she thought was a little kitten "Are you lost, little one?"

"Miaurrr!" the kitten had a weirdly growly voice, but still high pitched like any kitten, he seemed to be scared and lost, looking for him mom

"Don't fret, you're safe now" she takes him and puts him in her basket full of mushrooms "I'll take you to your new home. Heh heh heh my love will have quite the surprise when he sees you"

So she goes back to the palace, Magnifico is busy changing some wishes when she arrives

"Daaaaarliiiiing~ Look what I found in the woods today!" She says showing him the kitten

Magnifico looks quite surprised, although he has seen Amaya do some REALLY messed up things, he never thought she'd use a whole kitten as a potion ingredient

"Hmmm... How nice dear, but uh- If you don't mind me asking- What kind of potion requires a kitten sacrifice?" He asks smiling, trying to be supportive of her weird hobbies

"SACRIFICE???" She holds the kitten close to her, looking very offended that her husband would imply that "I don't want to kill him! I want to keep him!"

"OOOOOH I see, I see. That makes more sense" The king says kinda relieved

(They have murdered and ruined the lives of millions, but they draw the line at killing a kitten)

"Well then, if that's your desire then he's all yours, my beldam. But don't expect me to take care of him as well" He said

And that basically went like one of those "Dad said he didn't want the dog" memes, because Magnifico really liked the cat and took care of him just as much as Amaya.

They named him "Bravo" because it's both what you say to cheer for someone after a performance, and their whole thing is that they're constantly acting to their people, and also means angry in Spanish, and the kitten often looked grumpy.

But as time went on, and Bravo grew... They noticed he just wouldn't stop growing. And soon enough they realized... That wasn't a cat, that was a lynx.

And thats how the situation went from good to GREAT!

Like, they just raised their own killing machine without even knowing it was a killing machine, they were beyond ecstatic, they were running around like "YES YES YEEEES!!!" ya feel me?

3- How Florian Reacts To Everything

Now, to answer this one, I'll tell you a story... About something that happened in the chapter "Into The Eye Of The Storm".

Something that happened from Magnifico's perspective... After he got struck by lightning.

So let me set the scene.

...

He felt excruciating pain he never imagine possible course through his body, and light was all he could see.

Until it wasn't.

Everything went black.

Magnifico shot his eyes open, and all he could see was a dark emptiness surrounding him, and feel water beneath his feet.

The king looked around completely lost, one moment he was in the storm with that star, and in the next he was here... His staff wasn't with him, he was powerless.

He hears a voice

"Huh... Took much longer than I would've liked, but oh well, looks like you finally got what you deserved."

Magnus gets startled by the voice coming from all around him, but tries to hide his fear by masking it with anger "Who's there?!" he demands to know

"Really? After just 25 years you've already forgotten my voice?" The youthful but voice says, bitterness dripping from his tone. Magnifico's eyes widen as he indeed starts to recognize the voice... The voice he celebrated he'd never would have to hear all those years ago. The figure starts to manifest itself in front of him as it says "But then again, you never were the type to listen much, were you, Mag?" Florian calls him by the nickname he used to affectionally call his older sibling.

Magnus sees his younger brother floating in front of him, but the expression on his face is one the king has never seen before. Florian was always happy, always kind and sympathetic, innocent, he was like the personification of sunshine itself. Now? Now his expression was so full of hatred, hiding behind a mocking smile, like Florian has been waiting for this a long time.

"See you grew a beard heh heh you look just like dad" The spirit jokes

Magnifico is staring at the apparition before him with wide eyes, his mind is racing, trying to make sense of any of this, how could he go from fighting with the star to thi-... Wait... He remembers something he read about wishing stars, they have the power to give people dreams... He must have been knocked out and the star is trying to play a trick on him... Yeah, that's gotta be it.

He smiles thinking he just figured this all out "Hahah guilt tripping? Really? Didn't think that was your style, Aster, I'm almost impresse-"

"You died." Florian just gives it to him straight.

Magnifico freezes.

"You flew too close to the sun brother, or rather, too close to the storm." The spirit explains, and starts to float circles around his older brother "And soon, your soul will completely leave this plane, and I will finally rest in peace knowing MY people are free from you." The spirit speaks almost spitting on Magnus face, emphasizing how the people of Rosas are his people, his kingdom that Magnus stole.

But the older brother is almost blocking out the sound of his voice, too busy processing that if what he's saying is true then... "Amaya... It can't end like this, I can't leave her no-"

"HAH! That's what you worry about? That wretched witch?!" Florian now has a mocking smile on his face, it's a smile Magnifico has never seen from his caring little brother in life... It doesn't even look like him anymore.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL HER THAT!" He yells, now starting to accept that yes, that is indeed his brother's ghost, and he's enraged to see him again.

"Pretty sure I get to call the woman who poisoned me whatever I want." Florian says nonchalantly

"Tsk not our fault you made it so easy" the older brother smirks, trying to come out on top of the situation "I mean, a random mystery woman shows up out of nowhere, and you just invites her to be the royal potion maker? What did you think was gonna happe-"

"I thought you'd finally be happy." Florian interrupts him with a serious expression, Magnus stops talking and stares at him confused, so Florian continues "When you first locked eyes with her, I saw a spark in you... A gleam of happiness you never shown in all the years we lived together... I knew you were in love with her... THATS why I let her stay." He explains with every word dripping with bitterness "I thought "Finally, my big brother won't be so lonely and angry all the time! Love will surely make him move on from the fact he wasn't meant to be king!"" Florian makes a slightly more high pitched and cheerful voice as if to mimic how he used to sound like when he was alive "Hahah It's quite the tragic comedy, ain't it? I helped in your union... Unaware I was digging my own grave."

"... And do you think I care? We would've ended up together regardless. And I would take the crown that is RIGHTFULLY MINE regardless of whatever you did!" Magnus exclaims. If he's really dead and this is just the limbo between the land of the living and the after life, then he might as well take this opportunity to let out everything he wanted to tell his little brat of a brother all those years "The throne was MY RIGHT! But he said "NoOooO son! You must learn magic! So you may grant their wishes" WELL what if I don't WANT to grant all their whiny little pleas, like I'm some kind of SERVANT?! I wanted to follow my own path! I dreamed of being a good king! But then YOU showed up!"

"Sorry for being born, I guess" Florian says sarcastically

"YEARS watching them give you everything I ever wanted... I was pushed aside like I was NOTHING." Magnus sounds more and more deranged as he begins to smile sadistically at his brother "WELL GUESS WHAT! Now I "grant" more wishes than YOU and all of those old fools EVER DID! The people ADORE ME! And no one even remembers you!" Magnus spats out like he just won this argument, Florian is raising one eyebrow, looking at him like this is quite pathetic. The older king walks closer to him with a grin "So, how does it feel huh? Knowing your legacy will forever be "Just King Magnifico's little brother that fell ill and died""

Florian looks at him serious for a moment, before smiling confident again "I never did it to be remembered, I did it because I wanted to make my people happy, and I can rest easy knowing I did just that... While you lived a meaningless life, trying soooo desperately to make everyone love you, hoping that would make it up for the years you were ignored... Did it work?" Magnus looks shocked by those words, he tries to respond but Florian doesn't let him "Of course it didn't, you'll never be satisfied. And now, as if making my people suffer all these years wasn't enough, you try to steal the magic of a star, but oh-oh that didn't work, it got you killed in the most foolish way possible!... Now it won't be long until people find out the truth, then NO ONE will "Adore you" nor "Remember you"." Florian smiles widely as he asks "So, how does it feel huh? Knowing your legacy will forever be... Nothing."

Magnus has no words... His brother had never spoken to him like that... No one has ever spoken to him like that.

Florian looks satisfied, but he already know that... Unfortunately, Magnus time hasn't come just yet

"*sigh* Karma really does work in mysterious ways... Looks like the witch comes to your rescue, Mag... Again." Florian says with his arms crossed.

Magnus doesn't understand what he's talking about "Wha-"

"When you get back, if you even remember any of this... Tell Amaya that I lied, her tea tasted terrible." He says with a cheeky grin while waving his brother goodbye.

Magnus feels him sink into the water beneath his feet. He screams and-

His eyes are shot open.

He gasps for air.

Amaya brought him back from the dead with her kiss.

...

So yeah, that's dead Florian, his personality is waaaay different when he was alive by the way, but I enjoyed writing someone that can spit some facts on Magnifico's face.

4- Symbolism

I've wrote a whole lot in this, so I'll just end on a simple note:

I like the symbolism of Asha's family always being with her, from her wearing her mother's cloak and her ability to draw being what saved her, to her singing to inspire the people like her father, and playing her grandfather's mandolin, it really feels like even though they weren't THERE they were essential characters in her journey. And I'm proud of this little detail.

There's more juicy symbolism but now I'm exhausted from writing because MY GOSH Florian was intense, I really got into the mindset of a 20 year old that got murdered by the brother he once admired and I don't feel well. OOF. Imma take a break lmao

Thank you for the ask and

Thank You For Reading!

[pumpkinsy0]

So my dad once told me he never taught us Spanish because he was afraid me and my siblings would be put into lower level classes the way he was back in school. Unfortunately that happens a lot to Spanish speaking kids, ESPECIALLY in the time he grew up in. Actually it also happened to me too at one point.

The point is that…what if Two-Bit had to deal with a similar situation? Like he LOVES school, but teachers assume he’s dumb because he “doesn’t learn.” But maybe he doesn’t learn because the classes are just easy for him. He doesn’t feel the need to put in any work. What if Two’s problem is that he was never challenged academically, because they saw his caramel skin and stuck him in the lower level classes.

Idk I think I got this because it never says that Two-Bit is dumb in the book. And based off his interaction with Marcia, it feels like Two has just never been challenged before.He has the abilities to be smart but was not given the proper support system to reach that, just like so many POC students.

i like this bc it does add onto when pony said that two bit unfathomably” likes school!!! maybe hes aware that two bit rlly isnt as “dumb” as ppl say he is and still holding onto that “the curtis’ arent 100% aware of what poc go through” idea, maybe pony has an inkling that it has to do w the way two bit looks and pony cannot understand y two bit is still going if he himself knows that as well, its like y is he still pushing himself in a place that just undermines him at every turn???

does he wanna ask two?? a lil, but he feels like that would make him uncomfortable so he just,,,doesnt

[yourlocalspace-cadet]

MCD Laurance headcanons! 3 2 1 GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

-Laurance sneezes like a kitten

-He can turn his eyes red without turning, but its usually accidental

-Laurance and Dante bonded really well in the first day they met, so Laurance claimed him as his brother

-Laurance loves kids and babysits for Aph any time Zoey needs a break

-Laurance once bit through Garroth’s sword during a training session and ended up getting him a new and enchanted one

-Laurance almost never gets a full night of sleep

-Laurance and Cadenza are very competitive with each other, even in season 3 (when Laurance was all angry and angsty and SHOWED UP FOR 2 EPISODES-)

-Laurance is always cold bc Meteli is hotter then Phoenix Drop (cuz its a swamp)

-Laurance “steals” Malachi whenever he’s off bc the kid is essentially his son

-Garroth and Laurance cuddled a lot when they were looking for Logan bc Garroth is a human heater and Laurance isn’t used to the cold

-Laurance once fell asleep with Levin and Malachi in his arms, even tho Malachi can’t sleep bc ghost

-Laurance kept his hair long as an ohmage to Joh, who kept his hair long before he died

-Laurance almost cries every time he gets a hair cut

-He’s Laurance “my feelings don’t matter, so don’t worry” Zvahl

-Laurance has a scar on the bridge of his nose and scars all down his back from the Nether

-Laurance has nightmares about the Nether

-Garroth sometimes asks Laurance for advice about being head guard, bc Laur used to be head guard in Meteli

-Laurance once slapped Hayden (Cad’s adoptive dad) in the face, but he doesn’t remember the context

-he’s a giggly (and lightly flirty) drunk

-he once ate an iron ingot. The whole thing. In front of Aphmau, Garroth, Dante, and Cadenza. Just right down the hatch.

-he curses so much it would make Satan embarrassed

-he has an old necklace that Sasha gave him on him at all times, even in s3

-he and Cadenza speak fluent Spanish, so sometimes they’ll talk in Spanish like its their secret language (cuz Phoenix Drop doesn’t have a lot of Spanish speakers)

-Laurance has trouble reading, even though his vocabulary is pretty big, so Cadenza sometimes reads to him

-Laurance taught Cadenza how to fight “just in case”

-Laurance is big on cuddles. Just- he loves em

-Big bisexual energy

AND THATS IT! BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[marlesbian]

How i perceive Marlene Mckinnon

art by olowka.pdf on ig

disclaimer: this one is the one i'm projecting the most with my headcanons, so if you don't agree with them pls stfu because all of these mean a lot to me (also i'm exposing myself a bit)

Basics:

- Marlene Martínez McKinnon

- she/any

- born april 24th 1960

- Butch Lesbian

- Argentinian

- genderfluid, doesn't care when people use other pronouns but is still under a femine gender identity.

- Gryffindor

- Has ADHD and severe anger issues.

Life, family and history:

- Her father is a muggleborn named Sergio and the Mother who came from a wizard family, named Helena. She has a brother older by 9 years named Daniel.

- They moved to the UK right after Marlene was born. Marlene is fluent in spanish because they only speak spanish in the house.

- Kind of a troubled child, she was always putting herself in some sort of fight (physical), as she got older she stopped resorting to violence but sometimes it as bigger than her.

- She grew up very close and sheltered by her dad, he didn't know how to deal with girls so he raised her like he did Daniel, teaching her how to do everything, like: carpentry how to use tools, how to fix things how to play football, how to fix car related things, he wanted herto be independent. Her mother always complained because she wanted a perfect well behaved ladylike daughter, so they had a rocky relationship her entire life.

- After she grew up, both of her parents resented her a bit because of how butch she was, she wasn't what they wanted. She would never be that delicate feminine girl no matter how much they wanted to. Alas, she was still their daughter, even resenting her, they still talked to her, they were just a bit passive agressive about it, complaining of how she dressed and acted but she was always invited for family events and they visited each other a lot during the war. She still went to her parents house a sunday a month for her dad's asado.

- Her brother was the one who taught them to play quiddich, since he learned in school and became a professional player after graduating.

- When Marlene was 5 years old she met James in diagon alley and they became instant friends, they were inseparable, they were always at each others house, which was easy since both lived in Godric's Hollow (GH), their families became friends so they were raised like brother and sister.

- Her dad was obcessed with football and so was Marlene, they even went to Mexico watch the 1970 World Cup (they even took James)

- She taught james to play football and they played it together all the time. Once when they were 12 james helped her play with some muggle boys, disguised as a boy herself.

- She loved their house in GH it was like a farm, big and full of light, lots of rooms and a huge garden.

- They had a dog named Harpy, she was the cutest black lab. It was a family tradition to go watch every world cup (football and quiddich, the Potters usually went along)

- When marls was 9, Peter came to live in GH and became an essential part of the trio.

Hogwarts years:

- She and Mary instantly bonded by being latinas and easily became friends. She was beyond happy when all her friends ended up in the same house.

- She entered the quiddich team in 2nd year with James. She played as a beater. In third year when Sirius entered the team and played with her nobody could stop the dinamic duo they were, their connection was unmatched, they always knew where the other was.

- Their friendship with lily though was different. Lily meant the whole world to her, they were best friends, twin flames. nobody could explain it, they just understood each other, they could speak without words, they would do anything for one another. Their friendship was platonic and romantic at the same time, Lily was the first girl she kissed.

- Marlene fell in love with Mary the second they met, but she only became aware that is was a crush in the end of second year. They were absolute best friends, Mary was one of the only other girls just as obcessed with football as she was. Mary introduced her to brazilian music. Mary and Marlene were both in love with one another at some point in their lives, but never at the same time.

- Lily was the first girl she kissed, her first friend, her closest girl friend. They met on the train before Lily separed herself from the boys with Snape, for some reason Marlene did go with Lily and they just talked for the entire ride, with Severus watching and making some comments, he was never marls' cup of tea, she didn't like the way he treated Lily.

- After Snape called Lily a slur in fifth year, Malene punched him square in the face.

- a quote to define her friendship with Lily "is it romantic? is it platonic? who cares baby, it's homosexual!"

- Marlene loved Lily and Mary so much, but in different ways. The three of them were inseparable. They didn't hang out much with the other girl in their dorm, Greta Catchclove, because she was always with her twin sister on the Hufflepuff common room.

- Marlene was James' biggest deffender, whenever Lily complained about him or treated him badly, she was always deffending him, saying he was the best person they knew.

-Dorcas is the love of her life. They were quiddich rivals in school (Dorcas Slytherin keeper). They were together through the war, both stronger together. They never distrusted one another.

How i perceive her:

Physical appearence;

- Bonde, white, very tall and muscular, had huge biceps.

- She kept her hair long up until she turned 14, then she cut it to her shoulders, in a wolf cut. On 7th year she shaved it to the scalp and then never let it grow out again. Always kept it ver short.

Style:

- Marlene was usually very masc presenting, liked to wear traditional boys clothes, but they had some very rare femme days, on those days she wore lots of eye make up, skirts and fish nets.

- She always raided her dad's closet after flannels, oversize shirts and shorts.

- She wore many sleeveless tanktops, button up shirts, bermudas (longer shorts). Loved wearing big belts and shirts that showed of her arms.

Personality:

- Marlene was just so warm, she was always making her friends laugh, they were extremely loyal, fun, dedicated and smart.

- Marlene loved reading but never really talked about it with other people, she didn't really study either but always got great results.

- Marls was very sceptical, didn't believe in god, in divination, in signs on anything. She only believed magic was real because she lived it every day.

- Marlene was that person that was just effortlessly good at everything, so that made her a little bit cocky but at the same time she was very insecure and anxious. Marlene was extremely competitive and hated losing, she always kept a straight face when she lost but would later cry herself to sleep, because he always took too much responsability and blamed herself for every failiure.

-She was very energetic and could not keep her mouth shut, she was always talking, singing, making jokes and jumping around. Marlene talked with her whole body, she talked moving her hands, her head, her arms and his face was very expressive.

- But that's not to say marls was perfect, oh no she was far from it. She had severe anger issues, she always kept calm to a certain point and then she completely freaked and became agressive andlashed out on whoever was closer, her words shoot to kill when she was mad, sometimes she even punched things around her until she calmed down. her anger was explosive, it was always in the back of her head itching to come out, and that made her feel like a monster, like a terrible person, like this evil was inside of her all the time and one day she feared she might not be able to contain it.

- Marlene struggled a lot with comphet and with that chronic need for male attention. Deep down she always they were a lesbian and would never love a boy

- She over sexualized herself, for some time when she was still young she tried hooking up with different random men at parties, forcing herself to feel something she knew wasn't there. Untill she finally kissed Lily and everything changed, that was the feeling she searched for her whole life. After that it was quite easy to accept herself. After years of crying themselves to sleep for being different, for being broken, for not being able to love a man and feeling like that would make her less worthy, because that would solidify that she was the family rotten dissappointment. She didn't want to be hated by her family, her mind was debating wether to be her true self or to be loved by her father. In the end she chose herself and she didn't regret it in the slightest.

- She embraced being butch, her masculinity and feminity both as a simultaneous intrinsicate part of her. They embraced the beauty that was loving and being loved by women.

- Marlene used a spell to hide her breasts in certain clothes bc sometimes she liked them, sometimes she hated it.

- Marlene loves the sea. It's his place, his safe heaven. her name having sea in it is the most fitting to her personality bc that is who she is.

- Marlene is the sea, she is strong and powerful, beautiful wild and dangerous, but she is also calm, relaxing and free, he is like water, everything in her is fluid, nothing is forever, she is always changing with the tide, she can be sunny and she can be a storm.

- She loved the outdoors, loved going camping, trekking, running, loved any and every activity in nature. Always promoted a match of beach volleyball.

- James called her marley

- Their love language (giving) is touch, she is ways touching people in some way, anytime she sat next to them she put a leg on their lap, holding her friends' hands, walking arm in arm, putting a hand on their shoulders. Receiving is words of affirmation.

- Marls is the best friend anyone can wish for, they are always there for her friends, always helping them, making things for them to get better when they're sick, trying to make them laugh when they're down.

- Marlene was so strong, both physicaly and mentally, sometimes it became a lot to handle, but she always shared it with James, they were both each others shoulders to cry on.

Random headcanons:

-Marlene was always flexing his biceps at her friends, all the time they were just 'bam!! look at those biceps how amazing'

- She borrowed James' clothes all the time, as he did hers, their wardrobe was shared.

- Her favorite bands were Blondie and The Runaways, she also loved Janis Joplin, Fleetwood Mac (Stevie Nicks was her goddess), Queen, Heart and ACDC.

- HUGE Star Wars fan, Princess Leia got her drooling dying on her knees

- The best curse breaker in the order, she and Caradoc worked together on it.

- She was named Harry's godmother along with Sirius.

[dasmores237]

Throughout the phases

I’m sure if you’ve been on my account or scrolling through the oddly dead Murdoc tag on here you’ve seen my OC Marilyn so I’ve decided to explain a bit here and explain through the phases!

Marilyn was an accident to be blunt. She was a mishap between Murdoc and a prostitute in Mexico, born some time around 2002. Her mother didn’t have the funds nor the time or patience to take care of her so she decided leaving her with her biological father was a good idea so she flew all the way to the UK and left the 3 year old there in 2005 forcing him to take responsibility and take care of the thing. He was extremely opposed to this and heavily entertained the idea of putting her up for adoption but ended up siding against it last minute due to the similarities between his childhood and how he came to live with his father. He decided he wanted to be better than that man and kept her ever since.

Phase 2: When she first came to live with the group she was a introverted but polite child. She didn’t talk much and would often motion for something she wanted rather than asking. This was mostly due to the fact that she had a limited vocabulary since her mother was Hispanic and spoke a mixed verity of Spanish and English to her and she didn’t know what one to use. Thankfully Murdoc knew Spanish so he could understand and talk to her but quickly they taught her English. She opened up a bit during this time and became very comfortable around her family and never wanted to be away from them. She took a strong liking to 2D as if he were her uncle and this made Murdoc extremely jealous. She also liked Noodle a lot since she was around her age a bit more and loved Russel. She talked a lot more during this time and became very clingy and wanted to be held and carried a lot by others for comfort. This was a bit annoying on the surface to her father but deep down he found it endearing. She often had to go to sets where they were recording videos for and was in the crowd of kids for Dirty Harry and refused to go on the set for Feel Good Inc because the laugh scared her. She also was the inspiration for the title of the song El Mañana.

Phase 3: After the fiasco of El Mañana and the group splitting up, Murdoc took his daughter and set off, the two finding plastic beach and staying there. Murdoc admittedly left the 5 year old alone with Cyborg Noodle who, surprisingly, turned out to be a great babysitter, but Marilyn was still scared of her since she was afraid of robots and she wasn’t the “Real Noodle”. Murdoc returned with 2D and forced the man alone down in the basement as a sort of torture since he was afraid of whales. Marilyn adventured down there one day while Murdoc was pre-occupied and was overjoyed to see her uncle again, secretly keeping the man company any chance she got. She eventually warmed up to Cyborg Noodle but still was afraid of her and wanted her real aunt back. She was in the car during Stylo in the backseat with Cyborg and helped her dad write Melancholy Hill late one night by sleepily wandering around the room and shouting out rhymes to words he would read aloud to himself. She was overjoyed to learn Noodle was alive and was the first to hug the woman when she arrived on the island with Russel, thankful her odd little family was alive and together again and they were able to return home. However While Murdoc was in prison yet again, her mother had to come and take care of her. Her mother wasn’t the best and after staying with her for 2 years she couldn’t take it anymore and the minute she heard her dad had parole and moved in with Albarn she got in contact with him and begged him to let her stay with her father or literally anyone else. Unable to say no to such a desperate offer she went back to saying with her dad who she claimed was “Like a new person. In a good way I think.”

Phase 4: Not much happened during this time except for the haunted house which quite literally disgusted and freaked the young teen out so bad she opted to just sleep in the car despite her father’s protests. When the group returned to the car the next morning Noodle claimed Marilyn was the only one with common sense in the whole group. Marilyn said it was only because of the horror movies she and 2D watched back on Plastic Beach. During this time one of 2D’s kids asks to meet up with their dad and connect with him. 2D agrees and meets his daughter Sonia. The others are worried about the two meeting up since Murdoc and 2D had such a bad past but Marilyn and Sonia instant take to each other extremely well and become close friends, almost like family and stay in contact throughout the phases.

Phase 5: now 15, Marilyn was very moody during this time. This was around what felt like the 100th time her dad had gotten arrested and she felt upset that he had been “replaced” by Ace. She didn’t talk much to the green man or anyone for that matter and opted to just stay in her room for majority of this time. Others claimed she was a like a “more polite version of her dad” during this time. The only time to group got her to crawl out of her sad little hole was for Humility where 2D taught her how to roller skate. She eventually warmed up to Ace and considered him a friend but she still missed her dad and felt a bit betrayed and lost by the situation. Russel knew she was dealing with her own mental issues at the time and attempted to help comfort her, but it didn’t do much to help. She still appreciated it though. She begged Noodle to let her go with her to get her dad but Noodle refused because it was too dangerous and Russel had to keep her in his sight at almost all times because she tried to set off on her own twice, being as stubborn as Murdoc himself.

Phase 7: Now 18, During the time that Murdoc was rambling on about the occult, Marilyn generally thought he had lost his mind. Or was drunk. While living with her mother during her father’s arrest back in phase 4, Marilyn had taken up Christianity and refused to sway for a cult. Murdoc secretly hated the fact that her religion was literally what his hated, but never forced her or told her to stop believing in it. He felt disappointed she wouldn’t join, claiming “all cults lead to trouble in the end”, but didn’t fight her on it since everyone else was joining anyway. Murdoc wasn’t the only one who found love during this time however. Whereas Murdoc was simping for Moonflower, Marilyn met a girl who lived across the road from them who she later found out was named April. The two became friends and often while her father and family was doing cult stuff, Marilyn would go over to April’s house and hang out with her, trying to fight the fact that she was in love with this girl. Later during the Silent Running video she was with the group fighting off the others but she didn’t know how to fight, so she picked up a broken off pipe from the group and opted to beating them to death with the weapon instead. Oddly enough this worked remarkably well. Murdoc later claimed that it was most likely due to the fact that she had a lot of pent up emotions she was venting out with each swing. Or it was the softball she took as a child. Later in the Cracker Island video she was an emotional wreck for lack of a better term since Russel was out of it, Murdoc was nowhere to be seen, 2D was higher than a kite, and Noodle was constantly trying to call people to help. She didn’t cry or anything, but she sat handcuffed to a chair with a “Distraught and confused look on her face” as claim by 2D. She looked absolutely disgusted when her dad kissed and went on a date with the woman who attempted to sacrifice her uncle and didn’t talk to him for a day or two after that. Before the group left the area however, with the help of Noodle, she asked April out. She nervously dodges the questions if asked if they’re dating or not, seeming embarrassed by the situation.

GOD THAT WAS A LOTTA WRITING my lord if y’all read through that I’m glad I caught your interest! I have posts of her and art of her in my account when she’s in phase 7!! I am planning on drawing the other phases soon! I left out phase six because it wasn’t very important in the grand scheme of things lol. Let me know your opinion!! Thanks! -Izzy

[decolonize-the-everything]

The White Hollowness, how I loathe it. I want to have culture that isn’t just American^tm

When the Italian hand meme came about for a bit I loved it bc I do that on a regular basis unironically 🤌 but great grandpa decided no no Italian when he got here so he didn’t teach the language to any of his kids so it was immediately lost. We still love our garlic, our pasta, mi mama says scuzi rather than excuse me. Traditions? Nope. History? Absolutely not.

My dad had frikken lederhosen growing up and yet again nothing was passed down from German heritage. Great grandpa + grandma came over and idk I guess they just stopped >:/

Try to engage with what should technically be part of my culture and just feel like such an outsider.

We more than likely have relatives out in the respective countries that we know nothing about and have no way of finding or connecting with them. We were essentially severed from our roots

Instead I’m stuck here with baseball, beer, hamburgers, guns, 4th of July, etc. like there’s a lot that is white American culture but it’s all like? Really superficial when you think about it if that makes sense?

This is getting long I’m sorry but I wanted to tell you I liked/appreciated your recent post about it. I didn’t think about how some of the experiences would be similar to some native people but it makes sense. It’s not the same by any means but like you said, there could be more similarities than one would think.

Colonization is just such a poison. It’s hurt and or destroyed any country it’s..well, colonized. It’s like an invasive species if that makes any sense to anyone but me. You put this where it shouldn’t be (not it’s natural habitat) and it proceeds to destroy the entire ecosystem

I hope you have a good night!

Felt. That's how the Mexican side of my family is too, just scraps of culture. I never even learned Spanish cuz nobody taught me. We got some food and a couple things to light a candle for and That's it. My grandma was a first gen immigrant. If I didn't already know that though, I wouldn't believe it because she's assimilated so much.

I'm old enough to have my own family now and it's insane how performative and hollow it feels to try celebrating things none of us are actually invested in or believe in. But if we don't celebrate Easter or Christmas... We have almost nothing. We were left with hardly anything.

So I definitely get the feeling of celebrations being really superficial.

I'm glad you liked the post ✌️

[drops-of-moonlights]

what relationship do winx/specialists etc have with their grandparents?

congratulations anon you made me want to draw them. you have untold powers to make me do such a thing. UNFORTUNATELY I ACTUALLY DIDN'T DRAW SHIT LMAO, just because that's a LOT of people and I'm. not about that. but I did do at LEAST some thinking of them! only covering the Winx here, maybe thoughts on the guys later.

Bloom has 2 sets of grandparents given, y'know, her DealTM. Both her grandpas passed away when she was a baby so she doesn't have memories of them, but she grew up lovingly with her grandmas. Silvana is her maternal grandma, a sweet old lady who taught her a bit of Spanish (as a reminder Vanessa is Mexican-American in the AU and so Bloom grew up with a bit of their traditions) and filled her with meals every time she visited. Her paternal grandma, Elizabeth doesn't visit as often as she lives in a different state, but Bloom loves her all the same. She's a retired office lady and always pushed Bloom to try everything she wanted - she was the one to buy Bloom a bow and archery gloves when she wanted to start archery.

As for Oritel and Marion's parents, she only knows her paternal grandpa (Eustace) and her maternal grandma (Lillia), and doesn't really have an opinion on them, having spent so little time. Both Eustace and Lillia also don't really try to get close to her that much as they can see that Bloom is just awkward about the whole deal and so don't want to push her.

Flora has both her maternal grandparents alive (Rosalía and Maurice(, while her paternal grandma passed away when she was a kid, before Miele was born, leaving her only with her grandpa Hugo. Rosalía is a witch (the Witch of Roses, Flora Source), and she comes from a VERY long line of witches. Alyssa broke the tradition by not pursuing morpher magic at all while Flora became a fairy, but she doesn't resent either for it - even being one of Flora's earliest magic tutors. Maurice is a doctor, and isn't as close with Flora as Rosalía but still loves her. As for Hugo, he's a retired lumberjack and was partially responsible for Flora's interest in physical activity.

STELLA HAS TECHNICALLY 8 GRANDPARENTS BUT I'M JUST GONNA FOCUS ON RADIUS AND LUNA'S PARENTS FOR MY SANITY LMAO. She only ever personally met her paternal grandmother, the former Queen Celeste, Sorceress of Sunny Days. Stella loves her grandma, finding her the funniest person alive, and confirms the Oriol royal family has charisma inserted in the bloodline. She knows only Luna's father, Fabrizio, is alive, but Luna doesn't have the best relationship with him and as such she never saw him.

Musa has never met anyone from her dad's side of the family and has no desire to, meaning she's way closer to her mom's side. She loves her grandma Wei Yang, who used to let her use her painting supplies and always loved whatever she drew, and her grandpa Jun, who was a big sports fan and was 100% behind his granddaughter getting into boxing and is a bit sad she dropped it once she went to Alfea.

If Aisha had a tense relationship with her parents, it was even worse with her grandparents, at least her paternal ones. Niobe's father, Ermias, was nice and doting enough, but she never interacted much with him compared with Teredor's parents, former Emperor Oceanus and former Empress Lulit. They were just as overbearing as Teredor and Niobe were if not more so, and she dreaded their visits almost as much as any of her other forced activites.

As for Tecna, she has all of her grandparents alive and well. Her maternal ones, Amara and William are actually farmers, who proudly boast of making the best cheese in all of Zenith, and Tecna loves them even if she dreads visiting them because she usually ends up helping at the farm and she does not like physical work lmao. Her paternal set are Ulric and Theodore (Anthonius is adopted), who are a retired electrician (Theodore) and a still-active Conjuror (Conjuror of Blizzards, Ice Source). The two men used to babysit Tecna when her parents had to work off-home and helped her with her magic development. Theodore, who Tecna was named after (her real name is Theodora in the AU as a reminder) was also the one that gave her that nickname, seeing her so interested in the machinery around the house.

[bookwyrminspiration]

ohhh boy the culture thing is real… it’s different for me bc im white but i also get the wanting to know more about my heritage but not feeling “enough” of it because I wasn’t born there and not all of my ancestry is in that culture… like im of cajun descent and I love learning about the culture of my family members and ancestors and I love learning little tidbits of my heritage from my dad and mon-mon and cousins but it’s not the same.

And the what-ifs are real too. What if my family never moved away from Louisiana? What if the government never discouraged learning Cajun French and therefore my dad was able to keep in touch with that vital part of his heritage? What if the Acadians were never expelled in the first place?? it’s weird.

And to be perfectly clear I’m not trying to compare my situation with yours, I’m white and there’s some things I will simply never understand, it’s just… I felt like you might understand.

You're okay, being white doesn't make this experience any less valid or lesser than what we were talking about--you lost culture, language, connections to your heritage, too. Your thoughts, opinions, feelings, and heritage are just as much a part of the broader conversation

And yeah! It's never quite the same, learning it for yourself vs feeling like you are it, if that makes sense. It's like there's this distance between you and it, no matter what you do. No matter how hard I study Spanish, it'll never have accompanied me through my childhood, that's something I'll never have.

There's also, at least for me, this guilt sometimes? Or frustration? With how I have to learn things. My mother, non-hispanic, will talk about family in Mexico I've never met but who she has when she visited with my dad and I just. Get so jealous that she can tell stories about staying in the family home there, about visiting the family shop, about being there and I can't when I'm the one with the Mexican heritage. I feel sometimes like it should be the other way around; I should be the one who knows and can tell others. I'm being taught what should be as natural as breathing, and it sucks sometimes! I don't want to hold it against my mom, because she has absolutely no ill will and she didn't do anything, but it's an irrational feeling of loss and grief and pain and frustration

I love learning my heritage! The history, the culture, the food, ancestry, etc. But you're right, it's never the same, and because you can feel how its off you just wonder. What if it didn't come with this ache. What if I wasn't in-between and what if I was content with it all. What if I didn't have to wonder and just was. But then would you even be you?

It's so complicated, and then there's another part for some people that I think might apply to you and me. Which is being white and having these experiences and wondering whether you even have the right to think about it and hurt when you're also so privileged. For me, being Mexican/hispanic/latine, those are words that people use and understand as non-white. But they can also be white--though Mexicans being thought of us as white was a specific campaign made by Mexicans in the past to be treated better, so it used to be thought of as non-white in its own right. Which is a whole other layer of complicated. So where on earth does that leave us, white and a poc at the same time? When someone says white people need to listen to voices of color, are you including me as a white person who needs to listen or as a Mexican American to be listened to (though of course I do need to listen to other groups and voices as a hispanic person too, not trying to say I'm exempt from reflection and learning by being marginalized). For the time being I consider myself mixed and consider being hispanic/latine as part of my racial identity, even though it's officially considered an ethnicity--which is not something I'm alone in. There's several studies on how hispanic/latino people are frustrated by race questions because we don't have a good fit.

Now of course you're not Mexican (that I know of), but I thought you might understand the being white and having lost culture/heritage and the confusing balance that comes with that. Trying to figure out how to properly acknowledge your pain and experience while not overstepping.

It's especially harrowing because race and ethnicity have such a weighted, important role in our world and society. So it's both confusing, painful, and has significant ramifications. But! We are trying our best and have good intentions, which I think counts for something. I'm rambling at this point, but hopefully some of this resonated and you don't feel alone in it :)

[phantom-of-the-ruckus]

Miriam Nack

Since my friend @ericaportfolio is doing her version of Nick's dad, I decided to start the first Handeemen Parent with Nick's mom (since..I may or may not have used a wheel of names-) I'm also keeping them not too shaded due to time wise and me not loosing my sanity (i'll give themsome upgrades when I finished the whole set)

Originally I was going to put her hair on a bun, but I actually love how her hair looks this way.

Now to some details!!!

Miriam Elizabeth Nack:

She is from Toulouse, France and moved to where the Handeemen world is due to her family business. (Suit was colored referencing both Nick and the flag)

She is fluent in French, English, Italian, and Spanish

She has a major in Accounting, and helps with the Nack's boat business in that aspect as the finances CFO

She met Leighton when she was 10 due to both studying at the same prestigious school he attended

Her best friend was Nicole Nack (@dolly-royal OC), and she used to call her "Mimi"

Although it was rumored numerous times she and Leighton (owner of his family business) got married due to business reasons, they actually married due to love reasons and are very much devoted to the other.

Although Miriam often scowls and tends to show little emotion, Nick got a lot from her personality, charisma, and well his caring and emotional side (but Nick got his emotional instability and self stem issues from his dad)

Miriam tends to show her emotions off business and more around Leighton. I wouldn't say that she didn't show any love and emotion to Nick. as I do think she was the more loving and "softer" (she was strict) parent comparing to Leighton. So, Nick doesn't have too many bad memories of her, and would say, if asked, that Miriam was a better parent than Leighton

Although Miriam is in the upper class, she worked and studied hard to get where she is now, and Leighton respects the hell out that from her. He reminds the press and these employees to never refer to Miriam as simply his wife.

Miriam disapproved Nicks choices and aspirations to be an artist due to thinking he was wasting his talents and opportunities on a hobby, unlike Leighton feeling betrayed that Nick refused to take over his company. I do think Miriam came to understand Nick chose his happiness, and a tough realization that he was no businessman.

I do think if Nick and Leighton lowered down their egos, Nick would reconnect with his mother and Miriam would make the effort to understand Nick's passion

Miriam is still heartbroken about the fact that Nick left home and barely talks to his parents (mostly due to Leighton, as he is more impulsive) and she's the one that funds Nick in his projects and does send small amounts of money for his birthday and Christmas.

Although she dresses in some designer clothes, Miriam loves to appear elegant but isn't someone who particularly cares about brands of Clothing. The designer clothes are gifts from Leighton

Although Miriam was strict in Nick's education, she did not hesitate to stop or intervene when Leighton went overboard and tended to undo his worst punishments .

She has amazing abilities at the piano, but is a skill that she doesn't like to particularly talk about. Nick learned piano from her as it was the first time Nick actually wanted to learn something out of interest. She taught him everything she knew.

Out of reasons she does not like to discuss, Miriam dislikes Leighton's parents (Kristopher and Opal Nack) and often refuses to accept their gifts (specially from Kris himself). It is rumored that something bad happened within Kris and Miriam, but she refuses to talk about it. If you were wondering, Kristopher and Miriam aren't like the best grandparents as they did scar Leighton emotionally, but were more loving to Nick.

If Nick was ever genderbent, he would look a lot like Miriam

Here are some other headcannons about her in an old annon ask:

If you have questions and curiosities, feel free to reblog or ask ^^

[pumakaji64]

if you have any good resources for learning Mexican-Spanish dialect PLEASE share!! im mixed race and would be far more interested in learning spanish if it was the kind my dad grew up speaking yknow?

Oh hi-! I'll be real I'm not super fluent in Spanish- I wasn't taught it growing up and haven't started on any sort of like... actual education yet- nor do I have any like official resources I'm afraid... BUT I do have some advice!!!!!!!!

When my mother was learning English she told me that she listened to a lot of English music and it helped her a lot! I do a similar thing, I'll watch shows in Spanish, Spanish videos online, read Spanish text, or listen to music in Spanish and follow along using with English translations! It can be really intimidating at first, but I ended up picking up a lot of Spanish overtime this way! You hear or see certain words repeated enough and the meanings stick more and more!

Like for example recently I found a Spanish voice over of a show called The Haunting Hour that I used to watch when I was younger, and so since I already knew the general plot of the episodes I was able to follow along decently well even without subtitles! (Though I wouldn't start with that- they talk SUPER fast lol)

I also try to focus on the way things Sound when they are said and try to "parrot" them- I'll listen to words over and over until I can vocally copy the pronunciation. Even though I'm not completely fluent I've had people compliment my pronunciations saying they wouldn't have guessed that I'm not.

For Mexican dialects specifically look into Mexican shows or dubs, Mexican singers, works made by Mexicans, or Mexican creators online! I will say though to keep in mind Mexico is a big place and the Spanish spoken there has a LOT of different dialects!

This is kind of a "throwing yourself in the deep end" sort of technique so before doing that I'd get familiar with basic Spanish words and grammar- things like basic nouns, verbs, sentence structure- those sorts of things. Learning things like think, see, why, how, have, feel etc. help so much when you are just starting out.

Another really helpful tip is: speak to Spanish speakers!!! My mother is Honduran and she has been such a big help as she is the only fluent Spanish speaker in my immediate family! While we clash on our... opinions lol... regarding Mexican Spanish she's helped me understand it too since she's heard a lot of it from my dad's family. She's almost always the first person I turn to regarding any questions I have with Spanish.

I also have friends online who are fluent in Spanish too and they've also been great help! There's been many times where I've misused or misunderstood a phrase and they've been there to correct me LOL

Also don't feel afraid to look up things like unfamiliar words or phrases- that can be really helpful for stuff that can't be accurately translated into English! This won't be just the case with slang or really specific words either- a word translated a certain way in one context could be translated differently in another even something seemingly simple like "bueno" and it's conjugations.

I've tried language learning apps and stuff before and while I'm sure they work well for some people and would recommend trying some out I've just never fully gelled with those kind of tools. Though I will say the website Spanishdict.com has been a consistently big help for me! ... and to be fair I'm really bad at forming habits and sticking to those apps lol

And the biggest piece of advice I can give: Don't feel discouraged!!!

Learning a language is tough- but it's never too late to learn! I only started trying to seriously learn more Spanish like 3 years ago and every now and then I have to remind myself that I've come a long way since then!

... Also practice rolling your r's- it's the tip of the tongue to the roof of the mouth- fast fluttering motion- it'll be intimidating at first but keep practicing and you'll get it- and once you get it just know it's fine if it doesn't sound 'nautral' at first- the longer you do it the easier it becomes to roll r's without it sounding forced.

I hope that helps anon!!!!!!!!

[mothdruid]

Hi, babe 💌 You know what's been plaguing my mind for a while now?? rockstar AU tgm

Not necessarily rockstars, but like, what/how they would be as artists... ok hear me out KWJDKDKDK

I'm 100% sure rooster would be something like The Weeknd, bringing 80s tunes back and being super popular. He would know how to play a bunch of instruments and produce music, all thanks to his late rockstar father Goose, an absolute icon of the 80s that teached him everything he knows. (Goose would probably be part of a famous rock band with mav and ice hehe)

And hangman would be a country music star. There's no room for argument on this one lmao he'd have the most cocky annoying speeches on award shows and he'd constantly appear on those tacky gossip pages all over instagram/tiktok/twitter, showing up drunk to important events and allegedly hooking up with his fans but also being Texas' darling so he'd never flop or do any wrong on the eyes of his hardcore fans KSMSKSJDKS would definitely sneak the most foul double entendre spicy lyrics in his songs tbh...

I see bob as someone that would do music like Mac Demarco, Cults, TV Girl or Thee Sacred Souls. Something more romantic, calm and a bit of jazz influence maybe...? Songs you would listen to while reading a book or looking out a window while driving in the rain

I think payback would have some jazz influence too, like Nat King Cole or either something like New Order. Or even classic rock perhaps?? If not, I think he'd be a well-known producer like Jack Antonoff (taylor swift's producer) or Dr. Dre depending on his style

I can definitely see Phoenix as a rockstar girlie. Like Soho Dolls or Le Tigre typa beat. Or like Vic DeAngelis from Maneskin. OR OR she would sing the type of songs Mitski and Phoebe Bridges put out. She'd be so iconic plsss like when Hayley Kiyoko's fans call her lesbian jesus. Yes. Exactly.

Idk why but I think fanboy would probably be like a mixture of Steve Lacy and Kali Uchis. He'd slip spanish in his songs like kali and it would be a success I KNOW IT I feel in my bones. I bet he would serve LOOKS at the red carpet too and he'd be friends with so many artists

Coyote looks like he could pull off some mean R&B hits or even something like Tyler, The Creator. He'd have some incredible live performances and his fans would be so chill. He'd probably be the Mr. Worldwide of this generation and have a bunch of awesome collabs with a lot of artists, including his bff Jake hehe

And if they were a band??? I think bob would be a bassist and write their songs, rooster would be lead guitarist and vocalist, nat would sing too, javy would be the drummer and I haven't thought of other roles for the rest, I think I used all my brain juice on this one lmao

lmk your thoughts on this bc I can't stop thinking about it, it's such a cool concept 😩

ahhhh!!! i love love love this!! (i'm so sorry about getting to this so late)

i agree that Bradley's dad taught him everything he knows and also was famous in the 80s. i definitely know that he would make sadboy music, like the weeknd and joji. he would have some of the most beautiful music videos. i'm thinking of videos like Starboy by the weeknd and Tick Tock by joji.

and hangman? 100% correct. i think a lot of his music calls back to country music of the 90s though, a time he was nostalgic for and what influenced him to become an artist.

when i think of bob as an artist, rex orange county and mac demarco are definitely the first artists that come to mind. i think also someone like dayglow. but i also have thought that maybe he would be like marc rebilet. i could also see him as someone like tame impala.

i agree with payback being more of a producer who has made some music. i think it'd be music similar to what kendrick lamar has made. extremely impactful music. maybe something like denzel curry too. i just think his music would be very impactful. (ps. i love jack antonoff and have met him)

SZA is who comes to mind when i think of what artist natasha would be. so similar to the mitsuki and phoebe vibe. but the song Kill Bill by SZA screams nat to me. but also Silk Chiffon by MUNA also gives me nat vibes. (the versatility of woman)

i also 100% agree with your mickey analysis. i could also see him doing rap though. rich brian is who comes to mind if mickey rapped.

javy? i think javy would be closer to drake than tyler, sonically. maybe like pharrell (but his rap stuff)?? but if we are thinking out there bands, the flatbush zombies would be up that alley too. but i think that drake or maybe travis scott are the artists i think javy would be like.

[fangsforthevenom]

is there a word for coming from a non-"american" (non-white) heritage and just... not being connected to it at all? outside of calling my relatives lolo, lola, tio, tia, etc., i don't think i've ever felt, like, culturally filipino in my life. and not to mention my indian side -- i was a surrogate kid, so i never knew my birth mother, and my own mom's very white (think WASP).

my lolo and lola came to the States in the '60s, and we've been here ever since. my dad calls my lolo his papang, but i've never called my dad that. i didn't even know filipino food outside bagoong until i was 10, when my lolo got us a book that talked about lumpia and longanisa. but i don't eat those foods regularly. i don't speak cebuano, even though everyone expectts tagalog when they hear "filipino" -- if they even know that the philippines exist -- i grew up with america. i idolized Pocahontas because she had skin that was close to mine, mulan because she was asian, and i was told that i was also.

there were never kids that looked like me growing up (don't get me wrong, my neighborhood was diverse, but no asian kids) and when i finally did meet another filipino kid, she was pale and called her dad papang and spoke in tagalog to him. my first language is english, even though i get asked if i can read hindu or tagalog off store labels by well-meaning mothers. sometimes i get praised for how well i speak english. (i do speak english well, but perhaps not in the way they're thinking -- i was consistently the top scorer in english tests in my classes. as i'm writing this, however, my grammar checker has oh-so-helpfully informed me that i have sixty-eight errors in this text. sad! (69))

my favorite food is the cheeseburger. when i get asked what my culture's like, i reply "american." because what else would i say? if my skin were white i'd be a true american. i saw raya in theatres and she was supposed to be the first filipino disney princess and i didn't feel any kind of connection. i don't think she would have even been a favorite if it came out while i was little. are you supposed to feel connection?

my african-american, my jewish, my latino friends talk about their culture and their traditions like they're nothing. one of my closest friends, who is korean, talks to their parents, rapid-fire, having to translate when they see me lost. one of my other friends can speak and understand spanish extremely well when he's with his mother, but got a lower score than i did on the tests.

i'm a diligent student because my father told me to be one, but everyone assumes it's because i'm asian. they assume that my father taught me to only get As because of some half-baked notion of being a "model minority".

it feels like a mask, sometimes. behind the filipino/indian part everyone sees, i'm just american. there is not tie between me and my ethnicity, nothing real keeping me tethered. is "assimilationist" the wrong thing to call me, considering there was nothing to assimilate from?