jenndoesnotcare replied to this post:
Every time LDS kids come to my neighborhood I am so so nice to them. I hope they remember the blue haired lady who was kind, when people try to convince them the outside world is bad and scary. (Also they are always so young! I want to feed them cookies and give them Diana Wynne Jones books or something)
Thank you! Honestly, this sort of kindness can go a really long way, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
LDS children and missionaries (and the majority of the latter are barely of age) are often the people who interact the most with non-Mormons on a daily basis, and thus are kind of the "face" of the Church to non-Mormons a lot of the time. As a result, they're frequently the ones who actually experience the brunt of antagonism towards the Church, which only reinforces the distrust they've already been taught to feel towards the rest of the world.
It's not that the Church doesn't deserve this antagonism, but a lot of people seem to take this enormous pride in showing up Mormon teenagers who have spent most of their lives under intense social pressure, instruction, expectation, and close observation from both their peers and from older authorities in the Church (it largely operates on seniority, so young unmarried people in particular tend to have very little power within its hierarchies). Being "owned" for clout by non-Mormons doesn't prove anything to most of them except that their leaders and parents are right and they can't trust people outside the Church.
The fact that the Church usually does provide a tightly-knit community, a distinct and familiar culture, and a well-developed infrastructure for supporting its members' needs as long as they do [xyz] means that there can be very concrete benefits to staying in the Church, staying closeted, whatever. So if, additionally, a Mormon kid has every reason to think that nobody outside the Church is going to extend compassion or kindness towards them, that the rest of the world really is as hostile and dangerous as they've been told, the stakes for leaving are all the higher, despite the costs of staying.
So people from "outside" who disrupt this narrative of a hostile, threatening world that cannot conceivably understand their experiences or perspectives can be really important. It's important for them to know that there are communities and reliable support systems outside the Church, that leaving the Church does not have to mean being a pariah in every context, that there are concrete resources outside the Church, that compassion and decency in ordinary day-to-day life is not the province of any particular religion or sect and can be found anywhere. This kind of information can be really important evidence for people to have when they are deciding how much they're willing to risk losing.
So yeah, all of this is to say that you're doing a good thing that may well provide a lifeline for very vulnerable people, even if you don't personally see results at the time.
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I’ve made a kiddads post assigning them things that I did/happened to me growing up. Now I’m doing that with the dads and my father’s experiences.
Darryl: In high school, he snuck out to attend a party - at a barn, in the middle of nowhere - with the rest of his football buddies. He did not have a good time and left not even two hours in. Frank didn’t even question him on his whereabouts, he woke up his parents and flat out confessed upon returning home.
Glenn: He was out at a bar with the GCT the night before his wedding. He’d only had one drink and walked outside to call a cab when he fainted and hit his nose off the edge of the curb. No one could figure out why he fainted and, sporadically, he still does. His nose is broken in all of his wedding pictures.
(Bonus: he once fainted in front of a cop after there was a noise complaint. Morgan came down to see Glenn flat on the ground and a mortified cop at their door. Glenn does not remember this at all.)
Ron: Early on in his relationship with Samantha, he took Terry Jr out on a “stepfather-son bonding day”. All they did was sit in a cafe, staring at each other in silence as Terry Jr had a milkshake and Ron had coffee. Ron did not like it and started stealing some of Terry’s milkshake with a spoon. This was the closest they’d ever been before the Forgotten Realms.
Henry: My father is simply too put together. He’s never had an experience like Henry in his life.
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if i had a nickel for every time i've liked a character with a tv head and a colour test smile i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice..
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i love writing characters who have never been to therapy. both the ones who don’t know they need it and those who have definitely picked up a self-help book or two off the shelf and completely misunderstood it. i love sticking my face close into their point of view and playing that fine line of “they yearn for Something and that gaping need drives them at all times, but do they even know what it is? do they have that level of introspection?” are they even capable of it, or do they just have a trio of rats wailing aimlessly in their head ("YEARNING!!!") while they tear around the narrative making wild self-destructive choices, trying to satisfy a craving so deep they can’t even see it unless they’ve been cut open to the bone... and then they immediately try to bury that knowledge even deeper so they never have to look at it again? hoping no one else will see through them, even though god and the audience and every other character already can??? anyway yeah the joy of characters who have never been to therapy 💕
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