#the ones I remember on it were Rapunzel swan lake Pegasus some of the Fairytopia ones and I think nut cracker and 12 dancing princesses

[clambuoyance]

I think I stopped watching them after 2010, pretty sure the mermaid one where she lives in Malibu was the very last one I watched

[tootickie]

my new calling is watching all 36 barbie movies in chronological order and rating and reviewing them. i will add to this as i keep watching. 

nutcracker (2001): 8.5/10 - funny, and i liked that barbie was smart enough to guess that the nutcracker was the prince instead of being surprised. he also made sure she got credit for saving them, in a feminist gesture instead of just taking credit when offered. he also said he would only be the prince if people wanted him to, so the nutcracker is honestly so woke. only thing i didn’t like was the ending, because she definitely shouldve stayed in nutcracker land. also like, was the nutcracker reincarnated as the guy who gets introduced in the end? like i just didn’t get it.

rapunzel (2002): 10/10 - literally the painting scenes in this movie are so beautiful, the rabbit is hilarious, the penelope and her father storyline is genuinely heartwarming, and rapunzel causes world peace. i was also wondering if this is an east and west berlin allegory because people seem to have german names in both cities and a lot of the families being torn apart rhetoric seemed similar but also i’ve been studying the cold war a lot for class so that could just be me. but honestly this deserves 10/10 for the scene where she paints dresses on herself alone. ALSO the sorceress is called gothel and rapunzel loves to paint and is a lost princess, which is interesting bc none of this is in the original fairytale, and thus i have come to the conclusion that disney plagiarized barbie, proving that barbie is the superior movie studio.

swan lake (2003): 10/10 - let me start by saying the scene where they walk across the log by the waterfall is so cool i re-enacted it so much as a kid and also the spunky purple unicorn has my name so this is a very biased 10/10. i also thought it was interesting that even though odette is a good person, her motivation for breaking the spell was a selfish one at first and this added some complexity to her character and gave her an arc of personal growth of compassion winning over fear by the end, which is more relatable and inspiring imo. the dress in this film is so pretty also, and the dancing is so fun to watch! and to round it out, prince daniel said himbo rights when he kept trying to shoot arrows at the evil sorcerer who we established early on can melt arrows.

princess and the pauper (2004): 10/10 - annalise and julian are such a cute romantic pair they’re the first ones that have real chemistry i feel like. also he’s the first love interest with a brain and initiative . preminger is also such a spicy villain, the songs slap, the humor is good...we all remember why this movie is good i don’t need to go over it.

fairytopia (2005): 6/10 - i think the aesthetic of this movie is what really saved it; i thought the character design and settings were really nice, but i found the story to be pretty boring. elina didn’t really speak to me that much as a character, i just feel like there wasn’t as much development of her character as the previous protagonists. definitely some potential there, so i’m excited for the sequels. also i hate how cute i found bibble lol.

magic of pegasus (2005): 9.5/10 - this was mad good actually, my only con was that i did find annika’s voice was more annoying than other barbie characters, so i was just wondering what the deal was with that. annika’s positivity of hearing ‘the wand of light is made of these impossible items’ and going ‘it’s only three things!’ was inspiring, to say the least. the banter between the annika and aidan was so cute too. also literally the fact that he was a gambling addict who ran away from home with a whole redemption arc….iconic. anyway i really enjoyed this actually, i wish i’d actually seen it as a child. also all the ice skating scenes were fun. and uhh brietta and the cloud queen are def in love and you can’t convince me otherwise

mermaidia (2006): 8/10 - definitely better than the first fairytopia! to start with, the subversiveness of needing to rescue a prince is fun! said mermaid prince is cute and watching him interact with his captors is a joy, but why does he have a mullet :-/ i do appreciate elina’s commitment to female solidarity with regard to nori (who, as a side note, is hot), and their burgeoning friendship was a fun part of the plot and omfg the shot with the two of them jumping down the waterfall...nice. nori and nalu are a really cute pair also and i thought it was cool that elina wasn’t the one to get the guy. i also thought it was cool when bibble sang opera. and elina’s last sacrifice at the end redeemed her to me after being kind of bored of her. however, what i really don’t understand is why nalu even asked for elina’s help in the first place?? ( like, because they’re friends? he clearly has other friends, and while we’re on that subject, did their friendship develop offscreen or are we meant to believe they are close friends from the 30 second almost silent montage from the last movie?), so that kind of puts a damper on the whole movie for me.

the barbie diaries (2006): 7/10 - what on EARTH is this animation style. who okayed this??? im literally seasick watching it. this is like a regular teen movie, which is interesting for the barbie genre. the banter between the friend group is really cute and this movie is actually quite funny and profound and i really enjoyed it. but it’s really best if you just close your eyes and imagine what is going on bc whatever you imagine cannot be worse than what you will see on the screen. it feel really off brand for barbie movies plotwise, like it seemed much more like a disney channel movie. so the verdict is, i enjoyed it—the plot is fun, if a little predictable, but there was simply too much to be confused about. 

[corvid-moon]

rating all the barbie movies ive seen* by how gay they are

*disclaimer: i havent watched any past barbie and the secret door

Barbie, the Nutcracker

A very good movie, captain candy and major mint have big enemies to lovers energy 4/10

Barbie, Rapunzel

Nothing really exudes Gay Energy, but its been a while since i watched it 1/10

Barbie, Swan Lake

Theres just not enough characters in these early movies for there to be much gay 1/10

Barbie, the Princess and the Pauper

the sheer lesbian energy radiating off of this movie is so strong that every time i watch it now i nearly pass out 10/10

Barbie, Fairytopia

Again its a good movie, but not much gay. 3/10 because of azura's big bi energy

Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus

5/10 brianna's gay

Barbie Fairytopia; Mermaidia

strong gay vibes from nori 7/10

Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses

while most of the characters are related, theres 12 sisters and statistics show that theres got to be at least two gays in there somewhere, so ill give it a 4/10

Barbie Fairytopia; Magic of the Rainbow

i mean. its in the title. also the fairy who was mean at first and then was laverna for a while definitely had a crush on elina 8/10

Barbie, Island Princess

from what i remember luciana is big ace energy and i respect that 6/10

Mariposa

mariposa gay 5/10

Barbie and the Diamond Castle

i have no words because this is literally the domestic lesbian romance you hear only in fanfiction and thats valid 10/10 those girls are livin the dream

Barbie in a Christmas Carol

this one was weird and i dont feel qualified to give it a gay rating bc i dont remember much

Thumbelina

saving the enviroment is very gay of you 4/10

Barbie and the Three Musketeers

BARBIE SAID POLY RIGHTS 8/10

Barbie in a Mermaid Tale

uhh you know those 2 mermaids that had a clothing (?) store or something? they were married 6/10

Barbie, a Fashion Fairytale

uhh this ones pretty het but aunt millicent was too active of a woman to be straight 5/10 for the lesbian aunt

Barbie, a Fairy Secret

ok i know this one barbie has to go after ken and save him and she becomes friends with rachelle, but what if. that scene in the jail? its the same but they confess their feelings for each other? ive been thinking about this since i was 10 years old 7/10 also bc all of the fairies are pansexual

Barbie, Princess Charm School

blair's room mates? gay. 7.5/10

Barbie, the Perfect Christmas

ehhhh these christmas ones dont have enough substance to accurately rate the gay

Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2

ultimate rivals to friends (to lovers?) idk but mattel never gave merlia a love interest in these movies so i suggest she get with kylie 6/10

Barbie, Princess and the Popstar

the bad reboot of princess and the pauper i guess its still a little gay u know? 4/10

Barbie and the Pink Shoes

i havent watched this one much but those two guys who for most of the movie were trying to find giselle? they had feelings for each other and didnt know how to deal with it. also barbie's spunky friend was bi. 7/10

Barbie, Mariposa and the Fairy Princess

forbidden romance that ultimately unites two kingdoms. very lesbian good job barbie 8/10

Barbie and Her Sisters in a Pony Tale

no gay just horses 2/10

Barbie, The Pearl Princess

not enough other female characters, but the shark guy's son might be ace aro 3/10

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Barbie and the Secret Door

the fairy and the mermaid were fuckin 9/10

this is it i stopped watching barbie after the secret door and tbh i probably need to watch some of the newer ones. i will update as soon as i watch