#my dad and sister are just both driving me insane separately

[sensitivegoblin]

Should I be crocheting Christmas gifts? Yeah

Should I be buying Christmas gifts? Yeah

Am I gonna spend most of my December paycheck on myself because I'm addicted to the drug like feeling of Retail Therapy and I gonna keep crocheting sunflowers like a insane housebound mistress in a book?

Yeah.

[jerzwriter]

Welcome Brooke Vivian Carrick!

In my headcanon for Tobias & Casey, little Brooke joins the family on August 30, 2025. But I'm delivering this incredible artwork to you one year earlier! This lovely commission is from none other than the incomparable @/artbyainna on Instagram. I've run out of amazing things to say about her, but she never, ever disappoints.

I had hoped to write more about Brooke's birth story—and maybe one day I will—but I really wanted to share this before the end of August. Some HCs about Casey's pregnancy and Brooke's birth can be found below. Maybe I'll write a little more about them one day. I sure do love this little family!

You can find some stories about this time in Round Two and more about Tobas x Casey on Tobias x Casey's Masterlist.

Caption Pietro (the cat): To me, he's saying "Not impressed!" 😂

Pregnancy/Birth Headcanons:

As with her first pregnancy with Sammy, poor Casey was pretty much nauseous for the first three months. That was even more challenging with a toddler underfoot. Fortunately, Tobias was always quick to tell her to rest, and grandmas Vivian and Rose were all too happy to step in when needed.

The minute morning sickness ends - Casey is famished and has tons of cravings. Tobias was better prepared for that this time. This time around, she wanted Greek salads and French fries most of all. See a little Insta edit about that below.

Tobias made it clear he wanted a big family; Casey made it clear she was the one who had the babies, and he agreed; it was her call. They never said definitively that this was their last, but they both believed it was. They really took time to cherish every moment of this special time.

Casey and Tobias were happy to see her sex drive was insane during this pregnancy, their friends asked how they noticed a difference? lol

Tobias arranged a 'babymoon' vacation when Casey was seven months pregnant. He wanted to go to one of their favorite islands in the Pacific, but he wasn't keen on Casey traveling so far from home while pregnant. He also wasn't about to take her to any states that could jeopardize her life if she were to have complications, so that limited his choices. They ended up at a luxury hotel in Cape May, New Jersey. He got a suite on a separate floor for Vivian and Rose, too. This way they got some relaxation and they could all spend time with Sammy - but Mom & Dad got plenty of alone time, too.

Once again, Tobias insisted they were having a daughter, so he never even looked at boy's names. Girl's names were also a challenge; neither could come up with anything they loved. Finally, his Aunt Cher suggested Eden or Brooke for Edenbrook. They loved the idea and decided to wait until the baby was born to see if she looked more like an Eden or a Brooke. Obviously, Brooke won! She was given Tobias's mother's name, Vivian, as a middle name.

For most of Casey's pregnancy, Sammy was unimpressed about the idea of a new baby, but toward the end, she decided it would be fun. So she was eager to meet her little sister, and when they brought Brooke home, Sammy really thought it was a present just for her.

Pietro, their cat, was obsessed with her baby bump throughout her pregnancy but had no interest in Brooke once she was born. Casey and Tobias joked it was an odd way to learn their cat was a Republican.

Like her sister, Brooke was anxious to enter the world and came a little earlier than expected. Her due date of September 20th became a birthdate of August 30th. Casey was in labor for 5 1/2 hours, but there were complications, and it was decided it would be best to have a C-section. Tobias was at her side through it all (and she was telling him to get a vasectomy most of that time....)

They were overjoyed when little Brooke was safely delivered, and they spent the next few days in the hospital suite marveling over her and trying to wrap their heads around the fact that they now had two little girls. Tobias was outnumbered, and he loved it.

Here's a little edit about Casey's cravings - well, at least the food cravings - this pregnancy lol

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

Do you know Parents Trap? It's a pretty old movie about two twin sisters separated by their divorced parents. One lives with her father in Napa on a vineyard, and one lives with her designer mother in London. They meet unexpectedly at camp at the age of 12 and decide to switch places, impersonating the other to meet the other parent and force them to get back together. There's a funny scene where one girl has to have her hair cut and her ears pierced because of this plan, which immediately makes me imagine Spider having to cut his hair and Hunter being terrified when Spider informs him that he has to have his ears pierced. I wonder how this would work in Blood Brothers (if Hunter and Spider were twins, who would take which child and who would be the first to realize something was wrong?)

lol I hope when you say old movie your talking about the one from the sixties and not the Lindsey Lohan one from 1998 because I’m almost two years older then that movie. 😭 (don’t worry though I legitimately find this funny)

So yeah I grew up on that movie. I think I got this idea off of tumblr years ago, I’m not really sure, but it was pointing out how insane in concept the Parent trap is. Like how is a parent going to choose one of there kids over the other and then just act like that kid never existed. Absolutely wild. And then the girls switching places instead of just calling their parents out? Matching crazy to crazy.

So my idea for why Quaritch and Paz split in the first place. Obviously they met and fell in love during the war. They had two kids, though in this concept I’m going to say the boys aren’t twins. They’re two years apart like in Blood Brothers. Being at home alone with the kids and a little postpartum depressed Paz starts thinking about everything she did during the war and regrets it deeply. She wants to make amends by going back to Pandora to help the Na’vi however she can. She floats this idea past her husband and he just laughs at her. The need to right her wrongs is so strong that Paz decides to take both the kids and leave. What she didn’t expect was that her husband would come home early on the day of her escape. Spider was already in his car seat but Hunter hadn’t been strapped in yet. Quaritch takes the baby away and the two get into a massive fight that escalates more and more until Quaritch is telling Paz she’s gone crazy and he threatening to put her away. Paz in a panic manages to get in the car and drive away. It cleves her heart in two but she vows to get her youngest back one day.

Quaritch is equally devastated to lose his wife and oldest son. In the following days weeks and months both parents try to fight in court from across the globe to get their other child back but nothing ever comes of it. Spider is raised in Pandora by his mom. Paz works with the late Dr.Augustine’s team as their pilot. Hunter is raised by his dad as a military brat but the kid has no interest in any of it. He likes to read, stay inside, build models and play chess. Quaritch does his best with him but Hunter makes him feel like a moron. He thinks the kid could use a summer outside, hiking, canoeing, doing archery. So he sends him to summer camp.

Spider has already been sent to that summer camp a few years in a row. His friends Kiri, Lo’ak, and Neteyam split their time between to u.s and Pandora so really he just goes to have an excuse to hang out with his friends more. You know the story from their Spider and Hunter get into shenanigans and arguments until the camp counselors force them to stay in a cabin together to work out their differences. They start opening up to each other, one thing leads to another and they realize they’re brothers. They think on what to do. Now I’m of two minds about this. One they just straight up face time their parents. They are side by side, looking so much like each other that it’s unmistakable that they are brothers. Spider calls his mom and she goes pale at the sight of her youngest son. Spider is just like, “hey mom what the fuck?!” Hunter calls dad and is a little nicer. After his dad greats him Hunter wordlessly turns the phone so his brother is in frame then says, “I think you forgot to tell me about something.” Both parents would be getting on the first available plane to try and get to the camp before the other so they could just straight up take their other kid leading to then reconnecting and their kids forcing them to have a calm conversation with each other.

The other idea is still kind of the Parent Trap just without them trying to look like the other. The boys just straight up switch the pictures in their passports and the name tags on their duffel bags. Once they get to the airport they part ways Hunter going to Pandora and Spider to Washington D. C. Quaritch is waiting at the airport, worriedly looking around for Hunter. Instead his heart completely stops when a tall teen built like tank with a wild mane of chest length curls braided with beads approaches him with a mischievous grin on his face. He knows instantly that’s his Miles jr. Spider dramatically drops his bag at his dad’s feet, holding his arms out wide, “hi there dad.”

The boy is being sarcastic but Quaritch is so happy to see him after all this time that he pulls his son into a tight hug. Spider is stunned. From everything his mom told him he expected his dad to be an emotionless military drone. This? Tucked under the man’s chin, being held like a life line and in public no less? It stuns him so much that he just hugs him back.

Hunter was nervous as hell to meet his mom. He steps off the plane and she’s just right there. She’s only surprised for a moment before she’s all over him, hugging him tight, peppering his cheeks and the top of his head with kisses. She’s crying and it makes Hunter cry too. Not that his dad doesn’t give him affection but this is different. This is his mom.

The boys explain everything. They want a chance to get to know their other parent for the remainder of summer. Then before they have to go back to school the four of them will meet up at a hotel to figure things out. Quaritch and Paz agree. They’re both just so happy to make up for lost time.

Spider wants to make things hard for Quaritch since he knows his dad is a bad guy. His dad tries to buy him new clothes because Spider is wearing “rags”. it’s hot as hell so around the house he dresses like he would in the jungle. If they go out he doesn’t really want all the attention on him so he wears shorts and cropped t shirts. Quaritch hates it. But when Spider gets his new clothes he just destroys them.

His dad makes little comments about his hair like “wouldn’t you be more comfortable without that mane of yours.” Spider’s just like “nope.” He spends even more time putting it in intricate styles because he knows it annoys Quaritch.

Spider tries to embarrasses his dad in front of his friends, he acts like a “savage” in public, he finds every way he can to torment his father. And it somehow makes Quaritch love him more. He knows the boy is just acting out because he thinks his dad is bad. Why wouldn’t he when he grew up in Pandora. So he enjoys doing nice things for his kid to try and change that perception.

Spider calls his dads cooking flavorless, unseasoned white people shit. Quaritch lets him pick a restaurant to go to instead, even if it’s over an hour away (which Spider totally does to test his dad’s patience.)

Quaritch invites Spider to go to work with him and Spider accepts but dresses in his loin cloth and accessorizes to Eywa. Quaritch just proudly pats him on the back in front of his colleagues and says, “look at this kid of mine! 16 years old and he’s stronger then most marines!” Spider actually blushes and later changes into some gym clothes.

Spider makes a scene climbing the displays at the mall. Quaritch takes off work for a week so they can go on a camping trip. He’s grinning ear to ear watching his son shimmy up a tree with all the grace of a monkey. Spider would be embarrassed as hell if his dad said it out loud but Quaritch thinks it’s really cute. They bond a lot on the camping trip. It’s everything both of them ever imagined doing with their father/son. On the last night they’re star gazing, content in the silence when Spider asks, “dad? Do you ever regret what you did in the war?”

“Would you feel better about me if i did?”

“Yeah I would actually.”

Quaritch sighs, “I tell myself I was just following orders. That I did what I thought was best for our country…”

“But….”

Quaritch takes a deep breath, “no buts. That’s how I get through the day.”

“By shoving it down and not thinking about it.” Spider mumbles. Quaritch hears him but chooses to ignore him. The conversation does give Spider a sliver of hope that maybe his dad can change.

Meanwhile Hunter is having a time. He’s shy and prefers being indoors so he clings to his mom and never wants to leave the labs. Paz is super patient with him though. She’ll hold both his hands and ask gently, “why don’t you want to go outside sweetheart?”

“Because it’s a jungle! There’s wild animals and poisonous bugs and it’s hot and humid and I just don’t want to!”

“Your brother and I have lived here for years and we’ve been okay. Plus where going to the village. It’s perfectly safe there…”

“But all the people. Won’t they hate me?”

“Why would they hate you?”

“Because of what dad did…”

“What your dad and me did has nothing to do with you. Just be kind. Everyone will love you.” It’s the gentle reassurance Hunter has always needed. He’s still incredibly nervous when they reach the village.

Mo’at is the first to approach him smiling warmly. “Welcome to our village. I hope you are not as wild as your brother.”

Hunter actually laughs a little, “not by a long shot.”

“Good. Come I will show you around.” Hunter is in awe as they walk around. The warriors are cool of course but Hunter is mesmerized by the crafts people. Weavers creating gorgeous brightly colored, intricately designed textiles. Potters painstakingly making beautiful ceramics works. Wood carvers perfectly carving the jungles wild life. Paz sees him watching and encourages him to ask to join. Hunter’s extremely hesitant. It takes days of his mother’s gentle coaxing but eventually he does. Crafting actually helps Hunter open up. After a few weeks he’s almost a different kid, happily running around with other children, excitedly racing up to his mom to show her the garment he wove himself or the jewelry he strung together with beads he made. Every day he’s eager to get to the village, practically pushing Paz out the door.

I still do like the idea of the boys assimilating a little bit and the makeovers you mentioned from the movie I think are a great way to bond with their parent.

Quaritch has a poker night every once in a while. Spider has never played before but he’s a quick study and soon he’s dominating the game. They’ve played a few rounds and Spider is feeling overconfident. Everyone but his dad has folded. They both go all in. Then to make it more interesting Spider proposes a bet. Quaritch laughs, “what do you even want?”

“I don’t know. You can reconcile with mom? Move closer to Pandora so we can at least see each other more often? Apologize to the Omaticaya?”

“Alright, alright. And what do you have that I’d want?”

Spider’s hand is so good that he doesn’t think twice about saying, “you can cut my hair. However you like.”

Quaritch chuckles, “okay kid deal.” He lays down his hand. And it’s the ultimate winning hand. Spider’s stomach drops. He lost.

His dad’s team is laughing and hollering behind him. They excitedly start setting everything up, Mansk grabbing the kitchen chair, Lyle raiding the bathroom for a pair of clippers, jokingly reveing it close to Spider’s head. Spider just goes into himself, so sure that Quaritch is about to give him a buzz cut.

Quaritch on the other hand sees how utterly devastated his son already looks and takes pity on him. When his son had been cocky and made the bet in the first place he had totally planned on giving the kid a buzz cut. But seeing his face - he just can’t do that to him. He’s not going to do nothing. They did make a bet after all and you reap what you sow. He cuts Spider’s hair to his shoulders. His team boos around them wanting more of a show.

Spider is stunned in the best way. He can most definitely live with this. It’s the same length as Lo’ak and Neteyam’s. He can still style it in braids, it feels ridiculously healthy and while he hates to admit it, he is more comfortable. It’s so light, making the summer heat much more bearable. But more importantly Spider’s so happy to see his dad put his wants above what he thinks is socially appropriate. After that Spider starts to wear the “nice” clothes Quaritch buys for him but he does still customize them, embroidering them with symbols and patterns unique to the Omaticaya.

Hunter silently longs to pierce his ears. He really likes the look on the villagers and he’s even already made some ear rings for himself but he’s terrified of the pain and blood. Paz can see right through her son though and says, “sweetheart, do you want to pierce your ears?”

Hunter denies it but his mom takes his hands saying gently, “it’s okay if you do. It really doesn’t hurt and there’s hardly any blood. You’ll be just fine. I promise. But if you really don’t want to I’ll drop it.”

“No i.. I do. I want to.”

Paz smiles gently, “ok then. Let’s do it.” Hunter lays in his mom’s lap. She lovingly strokes his hair while Mo’at readies the needle. When Mo’at approaches Hunter’s panic starts to flair and he starts to squirm. His mom starts to hum a song, steadying him with her hands. And it works wonders. Looking up at his mom Hunter feels incredibly safe, like nothing bad could ever happen to him again. His ears are pierced quickly and nearly painlessly. Hunter wonders why we so scared in the first place.

As the summer draws to a close both parents try to cram in as much as they can. Quaritch teaches Spider how to drive. Paz teaches Hunter how to dance, something the boy was incredibly awkward at first until his mom got him to loosen up. As they dance Hunter can’t help but ask, “mom? Do you still love dad?”

Paz might of well has been slapped, “that’s….complicated sweetheart.”

“Why?”

Paz really doesn’t want to explain all the pain behind their last meeting or the worse pain that comes from thinking about everything they had before that and everything they could have had after if things had been different. Her son isn’t her therapist and she’s not about to burden him with any of that. “It’s been a long time,” she settles on, “we had a good life together and I love him for that time. I love him for giving me you and your brother.”

“But now?”

Paz just smiles sadly, “now it’s been a long time.” Hunter drops it after that.

A few days before their due to meet with Paz and Hunter, Quaritch throws a party for Spider. Low key he’s terrified he’ll never get to see his eldest ever again. So they’re having a bonfire, Quaritch’s entire team is there, they’re playing music and just having a good time when Quaritch asks Spider, “do you want to try a beer?” Of course he says yes. One beer leads to another, then another, and then his dad is giving him his first shot of whiskey too. Father and son are drunk off their asses, cuddled up by the fire when Spider asks, “do you still love mom?”

Quaritch is so trashed he doesn’t even think about his answer, “yeah I do.”

“Then why don’t you fight for her,” he slurs.

Quaritch shrugs, “she left me. She made it pretty clear how she feels.”

“You haven’t even talked to her in years!”

“And she hasn’t tried to talk to me either!”

“So you’re both being stupid.” Quaritch just stews in his annoyance. “Come on! Don’t you miss her? Don’t you want us all to be a family?”

“Well of course I do.”

“Then swallow your pride and fix things with mom!”

So that’s playing in Quaritch’s head as they walk into the hotel. Paz is nervous as hell too. They haven’t seen each other face to face since the day she left and that was messy to say the least. All other communication about a custody agreements (or lack of since they never agreed on anything) went through their lawyers. The tension is cut when they all come into view and the kids immediately run to their other parents. Quaritch scoops Hunter right up and hugs him close. “Jesus what have they been feedin’ y’a kid!” Hunter is noticeably taller and put on some muscle. His hair grew longer, nearly as long as his brother’s. When Quaritch tucks the curly strands behind his ears he notices they’ve been pierced. He doesn’t approve but chooses to bite his tongue. Hunter’s not just physically different. There’s a confidence and energy in his eyes that’s never been there before. He’d hate to dampen that by making a negative comment on something Hunter clearly liked.

Spider and Paz are similar though Spider is so much bigger than his mom that he picks her up for a hug. They both intentionally squeeze each other as hard as they can. When they break apart Paz takes him in, touching the ends of his hair in amazement, “did hell freeze over?!”

Spider just laughs, “lost a bet.”

“To who?”

“To dad.”

Paz’s eyes go wide, “and you still have hair!? Paz is legitimately impressed. She had worried about her eldest for sure, knowing that him and his father would butt heads. And when someone fell out of line for Quaritch he put them in their place. But her son looked so happy. He wouldn’t act this way unless he’d had a really good time with his dad.

The boys share a room at the hotel while Paz and Quaritch have their own. They’re all going to have a family dinner that night but in the meantime Spider and Hunter are swapping notes. Dad still loves mom. Mom’s feelings are complicated. If they could just get them talking maybe they had a chance at reconciling. And if they could create a romantic date to reignite that spark between them then maybe they could be a family again. So they start scheming. They ask for a private dinning room which the hotel concierge surprisingly gives them (he lives for the drama, is typically board as hell, and saw an opportunity for shit to get messy) Spider is FaceTiming Kiri as they set up the room because, “I don’t how to be romantic! This shit is gross to me!”

“What makes you think I know!”

“Ah, all the shitty rom-coms you make me watch at sleepovers.”

“Don’t act like you don’t love roasting them with me.” Spider just nods in shameless agreement. In the end the room is beautiful, decked out in flowers and candles. Quaritch’s eyebrows raise in surprise when he sees it but says nothing. Paz stops in her tracks looking around in awe before taking her seat. The boys side eye each other, glowing with pride. The dinner starts off smooth. Spider and Hunter are manly recapping their summers. Their parents are happy to listen to them, occasionally interjecting with a joke or a correction to the story. It all feels so nice. “I need to go to the bathroom,” Spider says abruptly, rising from his seat.

Hunter, catching what his brother is doing, hurriedly follows after him saying, “me too!” They run out leaving their parents completely alone. There’s no where for the boys to hide so they go back to their room.

The atmosphere turns incredibly awkward between Paz and Quaritch. “You look really good,” Quaritch says.

“Thanks,” Paz says, not looking at him, taking a deep drink from her wine glass.

Quaritch sighs. “I’m so sorry.”

Paz nearly chokes, “what?”

“I said I’m sorry. For not takin’ y’a seriously when you said you wanted to make up for what we did in the war. For all the things I said to y’a during that fight. For keeping Hunter from you…”

“I said some pretty terrible things to you too. And I kept Spider from you.”

Quaritch takes a deep breath. He wants to say more. Tell her despite it all he still loves her. Beg her to just come home. But he doesn’t. In stead he asks, “can we just come up with a custody agreement? I’d rather have both my boys for half the year than have one all the time and never see the other at all.”

Paz nods. If she’s disappointed then she doesn’t allow herself to feel it. “Agreed. I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually. If I stay in Pandora then there’s no way we could share them on a weekly basis…”

“You could always come home,” Quaritch blurts out, immediately turning red.

Paz’s breath catches for a moment. She chooses to ignore his comment and the way he’s looking at her so desperately. “I’ve been home schooling Spider but I don’t think I can give him or Hunter the education they need. So I think it’d be best for both of them if they stayed with you during the school year…”

Quaritch is shocked. He’s getting the better end of the deal for sure and he’s thrilled but at the same time can’t stand seeing Paz so upset even though she’s trying to hide it. “During their breaks I’ll take’em right from school to the airport. I won’t waste a second. You’ll have them all Christmas and Spring break and summer. And you’re always welcome to visit! It’s still your home…”

Paz feels like she might cry from the storm of emotions brewing inside her, “thank you,” she says softly, her voice breaking slightly. They eat in complete silence after that.

The next day they tell the boys the new arrangement. Neither of them are happy but Spider is the most upset. “I don’t want to live in America with dad! I want to stay with you and go back home!”

“But you liked living with your dad over the summer…”

“That doesn’t mean I want to stay with him!” Quaritch is definitely hurt by that but chooses to not say anything.

“Sweetheart it’s not fair to keep you from your dad. He loves you just as much as I do and he deserves to spend time with you..”

“He doesn’t deserve anything from me! What about what I deserve! Don’t I deserve to live where I want. Or pick which parent I want to live with!”

“Baby I just want what’s best for you. The school Hunter goes to is amazing. You’ll get a better education and have so many more opportunities in the future because of it.”

“I don’t care!”

“Stop yelling at your mother,” Quaritch commands. “You don’t think this is hard for her! She loves you both more than anything! I know she’d rather keep you both here with her but she’s sending y’a off with me instead because that’s what’s best for y’a. So shut your mouth right now and be good because you will be going home with me Miles. There’s an easy way of doing that and a hard way. You will not like the hard way.” Spider scowls at the ground angry at his father but feeling guilty for how he treated his mom.

When they go to the airport it’s a long sad goodbye. Hunter clings to him mom not wanting to lose her again after just getting her back. Spider is angry at having to go. His dad is still prepared to drag him onto the plane kicking and screaming. His mom strokes his hair, gives him hugs and kisses, a soft sad smile on her face. She promises to call all the time and assures him that everything will be okay.

It’s when the plane takes off that Paz breaks down, sobbing without a care for who sees her as she watches her boys be taken from her. On the plane itself Hunter is staring dead eyed out the window. His dad is rubbing his back to comfort him but it’s no use. When Quaritch tries to do the same for Spider his son flinches away from him hissing, “don’t touch me!” Quaritch drops it and lets the boy simmer in his rage. It’s after they’ve been cruising for a while that Quaritch starts hearing soft sniffles from his eldest. When he looks at him Spider is pointedly looking away but there are tears in his eyes. Quaritch doesn’t try to comfort him with words. He pulls Spider into his side and presses the boy’s head onto his shoulder. Spider doesn’t fight it. He’s to upset over losing his entire way of life. He starts bawling. His dad hugs him tight, petting his hair, wiping his face. Hunter starts crying seeing his brother cry and Quaritch tucks him into his other side, holding them both close the entire way home.

Once they settle in at home Spider is openly hostile to his dad. He picks fights with him every chance he gets. When his dad tries to show him a little bit of affection, like smoothing out Spider’s bed head in the morning, or giving him a pat on the back, Spider flinches away from him hissing and glaring like an abused cat. He’s no better at school either. Spider was relieved to find out the private school he’d be going to was the same one the Sully’s attended. He got pissed again when his placement exam put him three semesters behind where he should be. His teachers and dad all come up with a game plan to get him on track but that basically ment he’d be working on his gen eds with no room in his schedule for any extra curriculars like art or music and he’d have make up work to do over every vacation. So needless to say Spider acts out to try and get himself expelled. He’s in detention almost every day because of it. His principal has the counselor test him for behavioral issues and lo and behold he has A.D.H.D. Spider’s pissed about that too because now his teachers are willing to help him even more. No amount of acting out gets him detention after that, just a trip to the school counselor. Nothing short of assaulting another kid could get him kicked out now.

Him and his dad are constantly fighting. Quaritch tries to stay patient but firm. It doesn’t really work though because when Spider starts yelling, Quaritch’s voice starts getting louder and louder. Poor Hunter is stuck in the middle, hiding in his room with his ears covered trying to block out all the screaming, wishing his mom was there.

The boys FaceTime with their mom every day after dinner. It’s two in the morning her time but she stays up for them. They’re nothing but happy smiles and excited conversations when they’re on the phone together. Then the moment they hang up they all go back to being sad and bitter. Paz is a wreck outside of those phone calls. She’s definitely depressed. She doesn’t want to eat, can’t sleep but doesn’t want to get out of bed either. Her work suffers and everyone around her begs her to get help. The only bright spots in her day are her calls with her kids and the texts Quaritch sends to her. He takes pictures of the boys all the time - when they’re eating breakfast with their eyes half open, doing homework at the kitchen table, playing video games or watching tv together. He gives her constant updates on their day to day and always asks how she’s doing. If she needs anything, if he can do better with communicating to her. That old spark of love slowly starts to flicker again.

Meanwhile Spider and Hunter make quite a few changes to Quaritch’s house. They paint the walls one weekend when Quaritch is on a business trip turning the once beige house into an explosion of rich blues, burnt oranges and forest greens. Hunter, having learned crafting from the Na’vi, weaves brightly patterned blankets and pillows to decorate. He takes pottery at school bringing home a bunch of ceramics pieces that he proudly displays all over the house. Spider steals money from his dad to buy a bunch of house plants and start up what was once Paz’s garden in there backyard. Quaritch was pissed as hell, grounded Spider for a month for stealing his money, and made him do every chore around the house until he’d “paid back” what he had taken. The boys love working in the garden though. It makes them feel closer to their mom and Eywa. It’s the only time they really feel content and it makes Quaritch smile watching them.

It’s mid October when Paz calls Quaritch. He picks up before the first ring is done sounding. Paz hesitates for a moment and then says surprisingly timid, “I was thinking about visiting this weekend. If that’s okay…”

“Of course it is,” Quaritch rushes to say, “you’re welcome to stay as long as y’a like. I’ll take off work and pick y’a up from the airport.”

Paz doesn’t know why she feels so relieved to hear him say that. He had already assured her that she was always welcome. “Thank you. Don’t tell the boys I’m coming though. I want to surprise them.”

That Friday the boys walk out of school to their dad’s typical pickup spot. Only to stop short in surprise when they see both of their parents waiting outside the car for them. “Mom!” They both shout in excitement as they run into her arms. In that moment Paz is the happiest she’s been in months. Quaritch takes them all out to a nice restaurant and then an arcade. They have an absolute blast and for a moment Paz and Quaritch forget the rift between them.

Quaritch was more than willing to give up his room to Paz but she declines, taking the guest room instead. The boys are so excited to show their mom their garden and all their artwork. They stay close to her as much as possible, dreading the day she’ll leave again. Quaritch is quietly savoring it all too. His son’s are so much happier with their mother there. Hunter is so much more energetic, happily running around the house after his brother, showing off his latest creation to his parents, helping with cooking and cleaning wherever he can. Spider is much more relaxed. He doesn’t pick fights with his dad anymore. He’ll let his dad show him affection, even enjoys it now. He works hard in school and never acts out.

Paz was always an active, inquisitive person. She goes with Quaritch to drop the boys off at school, then rides with him to works so she can take his car during the day. She likes to go to the park for a walk or the library to check out books she finds interesting or dvds she thinks her family will like. She’ll go on little adventures like going to small local shops that look interesting to her or driving somewhere random just to explore. She’s always back in time to pick up Quaritch from work, then the boys from school. At night she loves making dinner with her sons and helping them with their homework. They’ll all watch some tv together before heading off to bed. Paz and Quaritch always linger for a little bit waiting for the other to say something other than goodnight. They never do.

A weekend visit turns into a week trip, then a multi week trip and soon it’s been a full month. Paz has no desire to leave. Quaritch throws another bonfire one weekend for no other reason then he wants to before winter fully takes hold. The boys happily play fight with each other. Paz is wrapped up in a blanket watching them with a smile. Quaritch is right by her side, itching to hold her. He’s scared to say anything that might drive her away but he’s still pining for her hard. “This is really nice,” he says.

“It is,” Paz says dreamily

“I think we’ll have the best Thanksgiving and Christmas we’ve ever had this year.”

Paz is shocked thinking about how much time she’s already been here and how fast it’s all gone by. But still she wants to stay, “I think we will too.”

Quaritch’s heart is racing. Tentatively he puts an arm around her. Slowly Paz sinks onto his chest. They say absolutely nothing to each other. And then Spider looks over at them. “Dad still loves you,” he yells to his mom.

���Miles!”

“He told me when we were drunk!”

Paz laughs, “you let our 16 year old drink?”

Quaritch shrugs, “I was worried I’d never see him again. I wanted to have his first beer with him.” Paz is smiling at him with soft eyes.

“Just kiss,” Hunter yells.

“Alright parties over,” Quaritch says getting up to heard his boys into the house, “time to go to bed.”

Once the boys are gone the adults finally talk. “Spider wasn’t lying. I do still love you.”

“I….i still love you too..”

“But?”

“But we need to work on some things. Couples counseling for starters and maybe…”

“You want me to try to make up for what I did in the war.”

“There’s no making up for the things we’ve done. We can’t bring back the lives we took or restore the land we destroyed.”

“So what’s the point?”

“The point is that it’s the right thing to do. To try and be better. You’ve always wanted to be the hero. The brave military commander doing what’s best for your country. But all that’s a lie. No hero would ever do the things we’ve done. So for once fight for yourself. Save your soul Miles. Be the real hero our boys will actually look up to.”

Quaritch thinks about it for a long time before finally saying, “I’ll try. For our family, I’ll try.” Tentatively Paz kisses him. It’s a small innocent kiss as if testing whether the spark is really still there. And it is. They go from that kiss to desperately making out, to spending the night together.

Too bad for them Spider catches them coming out of the same room the next morning. “So,” he asks with a wry knowing smile, “how’d you sleep last night?”

“Go get your brother. We’re having a family meeting,” Quaritch says.

“Why? Are you having another kid after last night?”

“Go get your brother!” Spider runs off cackling.

So yeah I think you can pretty much see how’d it wrap up from there. Paz and Quaritch work on their relationship, Quaritch works to be a better man and they all live happily ever after. I honestly got really carried away with this one for some reason. I just kept getting ideas and couldn’t help myself. I really hope you enjoyed it though! 💞

Edit, if you want some bonus content from this au you can check out this post where I wrote some additional thoughts and better explained ideas I couldn’t find the words for in this post.

[katzirra]

Okay, I'm a chapter from the end but I'll finish on my drive to work tomorrow but GOODNESS.

Like I keep saying; love the development of character thoughts and incentives!! It's nice to see that internal desire to be a better man in Thomas and really REALLY realizing how fucked up stuff is. The unhinging of Lucille more so.

The passage of time is done so well and is something that we don't grasp as nicely in the movie. How long this all would have gone on, how long it would have taken McMichael to get to England actually!! I love that a lot, it's very important to me. It's the biggest flaw of the movie for me; as a movie, we cannot grasp time very well. For all we know each cut is a new day, versus how drawn out days and weeks could be.

The ghosts are interesting, not as vivid an image as the movie, but my favorite is the one from under the bed. I forget which one it is right now unfortunately. I love how there's a narrative of "it watched" around the house, ghosts observing the living tenants.... ahhh

The chain of events and dramatization of events is nice, a bit eh to the original sometimes but narratively it flows nicely. I like the added sort of look in from characters who could be present in the scene in a way but not? Like Edith observing Thomas and Finn outside from the window, seeing his machine succeed. NICE TOUCH.

The desperation of her not wanting to believe her love of her life has done or did what he did and the up and down of that is much more emotional and turmoil ridden than the movie which is nice to experience. Makes me sadder. Though the final send off with them didn't hit....as hard? There's a lot to be had in that last exchange visually with the actors involved imo!! So we lose that. Lucille is much crazier and frenzied in the novel for sure - ALSO NICE NOTE OF THOMAS SEEING THE MANUSCRIPT BURNING AND IT BOTHERING HIM.

Also man!!! MAN!!! I LOVE THOMAS THOUGH. His struggle shit is so good. Him like hating that people see him for a handsome bitch and a lord~ and he's like man, I thought my wife's dad was a great dude and she saw me for my brain AND my huge dick unù

I also just... the novel really made me think more about how much I started wanting them to be able to be happy because I forget so much that her dad was an engineer?? She grew up around all that stuff and jargon!! She'd understand so much that Thomas would talk about or refer to. And as a MODERN WOMAN that's neat because it makes her that much different still....

I think the only thing I'm eh on is how DAZED I feel in this battle at the end? I feel very lost in it for some reason. Like since Thomas has been stabbed something about the pacing is throwing my ass??

I'm gonna back up and listen to the last two chapters and epilogue tomorrow :u

ALSO LIKE OKAY SO THE BIG THING WAS UHH THOMAS' FLASHBACK TO THE DAY THEIR FATHER DIED OR LIKE THE FIRST MAJOR TIME LUCILLE GOT BEATEN... The fucking GASLIGHTING AT 8 YEARS OLD BRO..... BROOOO.

Also like she's a little creep showing him foreimages on books?? LIKE DON'T SHOW HIM THE SEXY IMAGES ON THE BOOKS THAT'S WEIRD DUDE.... LIKE I'M SO.....MMMM. augh???

BUT ALSO ALSO I LOVED GETTING AN IMAGE OF THEIR FATHER HIS DISDAIN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY ESPECIALLY THEIR MOTHER AND LIKE SEEING WHERE LUCILLE WOULD DEVELOP THAT FROM... being cruel and it's learned behaviors from both mother AND father... and also more of Thomas' kind heart and inventing. I love the woman of action and man who just... never knows what to do and feels he can't help ever because his whole life he's been made to feel he can't do anything...

The guilt and gaslightis insane to think about. The it's the least you could do being the foundation of that whole incestuous situation and it just... kept going because of that narrative. If I love my sister, this makes her happy and we just can't be separated etc. INSANE. There was a lot of interesting shit with that one chapter - it packed a PUNCH???

Really good shit. Also like as much as I do love Thomas for a multi faceted little bastard, I love that the book very much is struggling to like stress that... IDK there's a lot of feelings on these characters and how they feel towards eachothet.

I do kinda wish the stabbing scene of Alan was done more emotional or weighted because it's a very well done scene and one of my favorite down strikes in the movie?? The book is very Lucille off the SHITS about it versus like HOW ARE THE MARRIED SHARPES DOIN" FELLAS? NOT GREAT. THERE'S A LOT GOING ON AND THERE'S A LOT OF BAD VIBES. Even Alan like... the author is so funny with him but I'd like to have gotten more flavor text with him there too. I did like the kinda Doctor Brain moment about thinking about organs etc.

I also might have not been paying as much attention at that moment abd might just need to go back a dee chapters tbh :0 we'll aee. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow and reflect better.

VERY GOOD THOUGH. GOSH.

[currentfandomkick]

How long do you think it takes for him to squint at Red Hood and Robin and go: ‘until someone botched a summoning i was the closest match to, i was actually more living than those two, just permanently dead and alive simultaneously. Don’t ask how, apparently its a liminal cusping dead thing. Last time the library of eternity let me look into it, the english term was Veilborn or Veilcrafted. Zombies and ghosts are both dead-dead, sure, but i’m the conscious and that’s my body with something that isn’t me ordering it around. So, can i get help finding the unwanted animator and stopping them, or am i calling in the insanity that is my friends and family and letting them go ham.’

Batfam silence.

Oracle, on the comms: family name?

Danny, cheerfully: run Fenton and Amity Park weather report together.

Oracle: … thats them being nice, isn’t it.

Danny: worse! Dad thinks that legal driving, and managed to make our SUV a street legal tank. And has no aim! Mom does, and is the scary fighter. They trained me and my sister in their version of self defense, and my friends!

Oracle: you led three separate raids as a civilian!

Danny: yep! Ooo, i can get my grade in on this. Dash does love a good excuse for assault without repercussions… and it will get the A listers to chill out.

Oracle: your body was reanimated by the Court of Owls, we still haven’t undone them or their experiments that make corpses into talons.

Danny: so calling my family for science, and class for a group project. Lancer should give us extra credit if we manage to not make the news mid-fight.

Danny’s body, still gnawing at his leash: (? Violence? Murder please? Please!)

Danny: if its not a ringmaster, not allowed.

Batfam, exchanging looks

Jason: how about clowns?

Danny: paralysis until proven to not be a threat.

Danny was utterly unamused with current situation.

current situation being he was stuck as phantom babysitting his own corpse. because apparently if you summon a Halfa just the wrong way they get split into a full ghost and a zombie which currently was trying to climb a fire escape for some ancients forsaken reason!! why'd they even summon some protector spirit from Illenois? why is it doing a backflip? How does it know how???

what's worse is he's currently in Gotham because Jazz wanted to go to Gotham U and his parents decided it was a good idea to do a family vacation together in the America's most crime ridden city. and he hasn't got a chance to tell them yet about the whole halfa thing and he's not telling them now while HOLY SHIT HOW HE GOT IMPALED he looked away for ONE MOMENT!!

Danny just lost track of his corpse... in gotham

why's his zombie so restless again?

the bats are now looking at a ghost who is chasing a talon around gotham. which is concerning.

danny meanwhile:

Phantom: Daniel James Fenton YOU WILL NOT COMMIT MURDER LIKE THAT

Talon Danny's corpse: 🦉

[ettawritesnstudies]

Do you have any thoughts/advice about writing siblings? Especially for characters with more than one sibling,,, like how their relationship with each other might be different than if they had only one sibling.

oh you bet I do anon, I've practically got this down to a science haha. There are a few key aspects of the family dynamic you'll want to keep in mind that will influence how the different relationships form!

Parental Roles:

(I'm using the term "parent" loosely, since it may vary depending on the story, but "legal guardian" sounded weird. Yknow what I mean)

Good parents will encourage mutually respectful relationships between their kids, avoid playing favorites, and work to settle bickering quickly and fairly. Siblings might get on each other's nerves, but they'll also be friends and whacky in-jokes abound.

Poor parents will either create an incredibly tight bond between siblings (to compensate for the lack of a reliable/safe adult support structure) or will drive siblings apart (probably by playing favorites, creating a rivalry)

Another thing to consider is if both a mother and father figure are present. Kids being raised by a single parent or a grandparent will have a different dynamic than if both were around. Divorce or parental death can be a major traumatic early life event, and will affect how each child relates to their parent and to each other. I can't really speak to this because I didn't grow up in a separated family, but research by reading first-hand experiences. If the kids are orphans, or both parents are neglectful, a sibling might step up into the parenting role, creating a complex, interdependent relationship.

Birth Order:

People will argue about this for aaaaagggess, but broadly speaking, the following personality traits are accurate:

Oldest/Oldest available (when the actual eldest isn't around)/Oldest Daughter (when the older brothers are useless around the house):

Strengths: organized, responsible, leader, probably half-decent at babysitting, cooking, and cleaning, may be a peacemaker between younger siblings.

Weaknesses: bossy/opinionated, default center of attention OR invisible depending on the situation, may bully younger siblings

With great privilege comes great responsibility

Middle (depending on place in the middle and age gaps, may lean more towards oldest/youngest behaviors in the family dynamic):

Strengths: flexible, independent, more laid-back attitude, probably makes friends outside of the family easily

Weaknesses: flighty, deliberately annoying, might feel inadequate or looked over in older sibling's "shadow"

Youngest:

Strengths: "Go-get-em" attitude. They want to run with the older kids, and parents are too exhausted to stop them, so they learn a lot young. If the eldest was allowed to stay at home alone overnight at 16, the youngest is probably doing that at 14. Confident. The other default center of attention.

Weaknesses: Tag-along, loud/obnoxious.

When someone only has one sibling, it's only the oldest/youngest dynamic and since both are so independent (and the parent's attention isn't split so many ways), I've noticed they're usually not as close? Especially if there's a age gap, they function more like only children that live in the same house, idk?

When you have a large family, pretty much everything in your life rotates around the family's schedule, when are your parents available to take you to X event, do you have to be present at Y event, who's babysitting tonight? Each person has a defined role within the family and the relationships are reflective of that.

Shared Life Experiences:

How much time did they spend together growing up, and was that a positive or negative experience? Did their family experience a traumatic event? (probably in the protagonist backstory). How did they react and support each other through that? If there's common ground, they might not talk about it because nothing needs to be said. They lived through it together.

Personality Dynamics/Clashes:

Depending on how you built your characters from the above questions, this can be a highly story-specific question to answer, but I'm just going to throw some generic dynamic ideas together inspired by my own siblings and stories:

Oldest and 2nd Oldest sisters are mistaken as twins because they're on the same mental wavelength 80% of the time. Lots of affectionate exasperation and mutual complaining/info dumping.

Middle was the youngest for 5 years until a younger sibling was born. Finds themselves caught between youngest "immaturity" and new expectations to be a good example of an older sibling.

two middle kids (2 years apart) bicker as small children but grow into being chill friends as teenagers once they both mature a little.

younger middle (10M) has different favored older siblings to go to for different problems when they can't get mom or dad's attention (asking oldest for help with school, older middle for help with friends, etc.)

the impartial sibiling mediating arguments between overly concerned but justifiably frustrated parents and overly defensive but justifiably irritated sibling.

parents mediating arguments between overly concerned but justifiably frustrated older sibling and overly defensive but justifiably irritated younger sibling.

younger middle and youngest siblings being absolute agents of chaos together, and that insanity factor growing exponentially for each added person involved.

The house is just TOO NOISY with all of this chatter, you're banished outside until dinner time. Go play.

The dynamic of: "oh my gosh they're such a dumbass, but I love them too much to let them get away with this bad decision.

protective of each other against outsiders, even if they bicker a lot: "The only one allowed to punch my sibling is me."

complaining with each other about their parents

so many dumb in jokes

I think I've rambled enough but I hope this helps!

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 9) - Inner Demons

Summary: The reader meets Gen for the first time while the boys are having a day together. But when they come home early and Jensen overhears the reader, a very big discussion about what they both expect out of their relationship has to happen...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Square: Skinny Dipping

Word Count: 5,100ish

Warnings: mature (language, skinny dipping, implied future smut, angst, self-doubt)

A/N: Please enjoy! Also written for @spnkinkbingo​

________

“No,” whined Zeppelin as Jensen carried him out of the bedroom for the third time that night. “Daddy, I want to sleep with you.”

“Zeppelin. You gotta be a big boy and go to sleep. It’s midnight and way, way past bedtime,” said Jensen. He started to cry loudly and Jensen set him down. “Do you want a time out? I’ll give you one first thing in the morning if you don’t behave.”

He ran over to you and grabbed your leg, burying his face in it. Jensen sighed, tired after a long day and you knew he needed some sleep. You squatted down and Zeppelin grabbed at you, shaking a bit. You frowned, Jensen catching it as you picked up the little boy. 

“He can stay,” you said. Jensen made a face but you carried him into the room, Jensen grumbling to himself. You let Zeppelin crawl into the middle and immediately grab his father when Jensen got under the covers. He was asleep quickly, Jensen kissing the top of his head. “He’s scared.”

“He had a tantrum. He’s four,” whispered Jensen. “He needs to sleep on his own or he gets dependent.”

“You’re his father. He’s already dependent,” you whispered. “He’s a little you.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means he missed his daddy and he has been the one telling his sisters for three weeks daddy’s coming home soon. I don’t care if he sleeps in our bed, Jensen. Sometimes he has to be a big boy but not tonight.”

“He was very...he’s very much me,” he said quietly, fixing the blankets over his son. “He’s in tune with other’s emotions.”

“I know,” you said. “He’s a sweet boy.”

“When I was a kid, around seven or so, my dad went out to LA for about two months for work. We didn’t have the money for him to fly back and forth so he drove out there. He would call every night but it was long distance and it was expensive back then so all I got to do was say hi to him really. Somewhere in the middle of the two months he drove back to visit for a weekend. I was so excited. So, so excited. I was gonna tell him all about school and my baseball games and the jumping contest my brother and I had on the swings. I was so pumped. He said he was gonna be there Saturday morning for breakfast. Well, I wake up, run downstairs, he’s not there. Lunch rolls around, he’s not there. Afternoon snack time rolls around…”

“He’s not there?” you asked, Jensen nodding. “What happened?”

“Never left LA. Got in a car accident. He was fine but this was the eighties and my mom didn’t get a phone call until the afternoon saying he wouldn’t be coming home. I thought a hundred million things in my head of why he wasn’t there. That achy pit in your stomach. When he finally came home a month later, I slept in their room, in their bed. That little achy feeling went away after that night. I know how much he’s like me,” he said, lightly running his fingers over Zeppelin’s head. “But I gave him that part of me too and I wish I hadn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s too little to worry about me.”

“He’s okay and he’s not gonna worry after tonight. But Jensen, there’s nothing wrong with him having that part of you. It’s a really good part, the part that loves the people he cares about. Right now he doesn’t understand it but someday he will and that’s going to make him a person people will be fortunate to have in their lives. That’s a great part of you he got.”

“Just have to go and make me feel better, don’t you,” he said softly. He closed his eyes and smiled. “Think I’m doing an okay job at this?”

“Yup,” you said. Zeppelin turned over in his sleep, smashing his face into your arm. 

“You care for them,” said Jensen. You nodded and he burrowed down into the sheets. “Because of me or your job?”

“It always helps the job,” you said. “When you nanny, you want the kids to feel comfortable with you and caring about them always makes that easier. But I don’t...I don’t like them because I decided I liked their dad, you know?”

“Why did you then?”

“People with money sometimes let their children get raised by that money and you can tell when it happens. But it’s so obvious that doesn’t happen with them. They have nice toys and clothes and things but they’re good and funny and smart and they could very easily be brats if you went the easy route but you didn’t and it just shows. Sure they’re kids and they can drive anyone to the brink of insanity at times, but they got big hearts, especially for dad. I just like them and seeing them grow into those people more every day.”

“Me too,” he said, Zeppelin rolling back, fisting his hands into Jensen’s shirt this time. He smiled and you leaned over, kissing him goodnight, pecking one on Zeppelin’s head. “Night.”

“Night Jensen.”

The next afternoon when you arrived at Jared’s house you weren’t sure what you were expecting. Jared and Jensen were off doing who knew what and you felt like you’d been set up on a playdate yourself. You’d dropped off the kids there more than once already and knew their kids but for some reason or other you’d yet to meet Gen. You swallowed as you followed the kids around the side of the house, the three of them taking off to go play with their friends on a swing set. You looked around and bit your bottom lip, fixing your bag over your shoulder.

“Y/N?” called a voice. You turned and saw a woman behind you, a bit sweaty in some workout clothes. “Hey. I’m Gen. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Thanks. You too,” you said. 

“Come on,” she said, waving you to follow her up some steps to a patio. “Tom! JJ!”

“We know!” they shouted back from the swings. She shook her head and sighed.

“Not that any of the little ones can get over to the pool anyways but I want to remind them to keep an eye on the younger ones when I’m inside,” she said, showing you to a patio door. You followed her inside, Gen walking into a kitchen and going straight to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of cold water. 

“They have hair like their dad,” you said.

“Yes, yes they do. Getting them to get a haircut is like herding cats,” she said. She gulped down her water and let out a deep breath. “Do you mind if I shower quick? Time got away from me.”

“Yeah, no problem,” you said. 

“There’s a bathroom right around the corner there. Feel free to take whatever from the kitchen if you want. I’ll be back in ten,” she said. 

“No problem,” you said. When she was upstairs you went back outside, leaving your bag in a patio chair. You went down the steps and watched the kids running around for a moment before exploring their backyard. “Here I thought your backyard was nice Ackles.”

“Y/N, will you play tag with us?” asked Arrow from over in the grass.

“How could I say no to a face like that?”

Fifteen minutes later you were warm and taking a break under the patio again out of the sun, the kids playing on the slide and swings now.

“Remember when we had endless energy like that?” asked Gen as the back door opened. 

“Barely,” you said, a margarita glass set down in front of you. “I see we’re going to be very good friends.”

“It’s so hot out today,” she said, setting a pitcher and another glass down on the table. She poured you a glass and then herself one before taking a seat beside you. “I bet the boys are out jet skiing.”

“They really are like a pair of children when you get them together,” you said.

“Yeah but it’s cute. Most people don’t ever get to have a best friend like that,” she said. “Sometimes they need their space from each other but Jared’s literally been counting down the days until Jensen gets back.”

“I don’t think Jensen will ever stay away that long again. He missed his family and friends. Home,” you said. 

“We’re glad to have him back. He’s been gone for a while. Even before you went to Canada,” she said.

“Were you good friends with...” you asked, Gen nodding. “I’m sorry.”

“It sucked. Still does,” she said. “When the boys were off, we could hang out. We got very close. After the accident I was the one taking care of the kids, helping his parents and family with their day to day. Jared focused more on Jensen, helping him physically get back to normal and then mentally. But you know how he was when you met him.”

“I know a lot of work went into helping him get there. I’m very grateful he had you guys,” you said.

“Listen...I’m hoping we can be good friends too. It was different for me and Dee. We both were dating the boys around the same time, got married around the same time. I know we don’t have that and...I just hope we can have that relationship still.”

“Me too. I know we’re probably gonna be seeing you guys a lot now that neither of them are working,” you said.

“Probably most everyday,” she said. “They’re like twins separated at birth or something I swear.”

“Has Jensen always been a bit quiet?” you asked.

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen that boy drunk off his ass and being a troublemaker but he’s always been that way. Maybe it’s why he and Jared fit. They’re protective of each other in different ways. Jared’s the loud one out of the two of them, always has been and Jensen, even if he is your best fucking friend, sometimes he’s a little bit quiet.”

“I figured as much. He’s just…”

“Gentle,” she said, a smile coming to your face. “You two are pretty serious, huh.”

“Maybe.”

“It’s been five months. I’d say it’s serious. You move in yet?”

“Technically I’ve always been moved in,” you said. She laughed and took a sip of her drink. “Yeah. We’ve gotten to the sharing a room stage very recently.”

“You must be very special then,” she said. “He was never gonna fall in love ever again. Told Jared and me himself. Now he’s as lovestruck as the first time around.”

“I’m not expecting…” you said, sipping on your drink. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Like I said, we can be friends without the boys,” she said. “What aren’t you expecting?”

“This,” you said with a shrug. “Marriage. Kids of my own. I don’t know where it goes with Jensen.”

“You should start having those talks with him,” she said, your head shaking. “You have to, just so you’re on the same page.”

“I don’t even know if we’re reading the same book,” you said. She nodded and you slumped back into your seat. “I know I love him and that he loves me. But I don’t know if that’s enough.”

“A friend once told me that’s all you need,” said Jensen behind you. You turned around and Jensen was standing there, a sad smile on his face. “We wanted to come hang out with you guys. Y/N?”

You got a smile from Gen as you followed Jensen inside, Jared slipping past and out back. You crossed your arms and looked down, Jensen stepping close to you, large hands resting on your arms.

“Why don’t you think it’s enough?” he asked quietly.

“It is. Gen and I were just shooting the shit,” you said, forcing your gaze up. He slid his hand down and took one of yours, pulling you over to a quiet sitting room. He sat down on a day bed, you going with him. 

“Honey. Tell me the truth.” He ran his thumb over the back of your hand as you crossed your legs. “Did I do something?”

“No. You’re perfect,” you said, glancing down to your lap. “All I was saying was...I don’t know where you stand on some things.”

“Like what?” he asked, still smiling softly, hiding all of the nerves underneath it.

“Kids. Marriage. The fact your family has never once met me or knows I exist. Am I just gonna be the nanny girlfriend or is there something more? I love you. I fucking love and I don’t need or want...I just want to know if you’re open to those things.”

“I don’t know,” he said. You nodded and moved your hand back into your lap, Jensen letting go of it. “Is that a deal breaker?”

“No,” you said with a shake of your head. “Like I said, we were shooting the shit.”

You were both quiet before you stood, Jensen grabbing your hand. He pulled you back to sit, plopping you straight down in his lap before kissing you.

“Okay I do know but the answers fucking scare me,” he said. “I said I was gonna stop being scared when it came to you.”

“Jensen, you don’t have to-”

“Yes, I would have more kids if it were with the right person. Preferably sooner than later but yes. Yes, I would marry again. Yes, I would introduce her to my family and yes they do know about her. Not as much as I’d like but they do know her. And lastly yes, I am open to more than just the nanny girlfriend, so much fucking more. All of it more. But that scares me that almost a year later here I am, open to all of those things, wanting those things with you when losing Dee hurt so much. It’s not fair to you that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be, simple and normal and just the fun parts. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not asking you to stop loving her. God if you ever did, I don’t think you’d be the man I love. I just wanted to know if there’s room for a future in there maybe,” you said.

“You kinda got in there all on your own and I don’t want you to ever come out,” he said. 

“Ever?” you breathed out. “Cause that implies-”

“If someone’s gonna be that second person for me, I think…” he said, looking down. You rested your forehead against his, Jensen taking a deep breath. “I know you won’t wait for me forever to get my shit together.”

“Well, forever’s a long time. I can offer a few years at least?” you asked, Jensen laughing dryly. “What?”

“I don’t deserve a few years. Your emotions aren’t a toy to play with.”

“Yours aren’t something to drag along when they’re not ready.”

“See? You do that shit. You always do that fucking shit,” he said, his voice a few octaves higher. You wrapped him up in a hug, feeling a few drops of wetness hit your cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“For crying? Jesus Jens, it’s okay,” you said. “I promise it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I keep tossing you around like you don’t have feelings too, like this isn’t hard for you too. It’s always me and my fucking problems with just…”

“Just what honey,” you said, Jensen holding onto you tightly, chin resting on your shoulder. 

“I can’t,” he said.

“Why not?” you said, carding your fingers through his hair.

“I don’t want this to go away,” he mumbled out. “This is it and I feel like I’m gonna explode and-”

“Shush,” you said, wrapping your legs around his waist and squeezing his whole body as much as you could. He stilled briefly and calmed down some, sniffling to himself before you released to a gentler hold on him. “Just the anxiety talking.”

“I love you,” he said, lifting his head up, looking you straight on. “I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you and do everything with you. I’ve known those things for a very long time. Longer than you have and before you even thought of them as questions. I want all that and you’re gonna get stuck with me, with this, with the never ending baggage, with the baggage you haven’t even seen yet. All your life is gonna be is taking care of my ass and you getting hurt because of it. Is that what you want? Is it? Because I want so much fucking more for you than me.”

“Was that your proposal speech?” you asked calmly. He blinked a few times and narrowed his eyes.

“What? Y/N I-”

“Well you said you want to marry me and yeah, I fucking want to do that with you too so was that your speech?”

“What?” he asked so innocently you smiled. “I don’t…”

“I happen to like taking care of your ass. So. You want me gone, I’m gone. You want me to stay, I’m staying forever. What’s it gonna be?” you asked.

“Stay,” he said quietly with a nod. “Please don’t go away from us.”

“Okay,” you said. He leaned forward and kissed you, sniffling some more when he broke off. “Are you…”

“I can’t believe I just asked that while I’m covered in tears and snot,” he said. A box of tissues suddenly flung itself through the doorway, landing near your feet. You stared down at it and started to laugh, Jensen chuckling while you picked it up. “I’m never living that down.”

“Who gives a fuck,” you said. You took out a tissue and wiped off his face and eyes, having him blow his nose a few times. “That’s really gross.”

“I know.”

“Must be how you know it’s meant to be,” you said, wiping your hand off. 

“Stay forever?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “Yeah that sounds good.”

“Me too,” he said. He pulled you into a hug and you held him tight, the door sneakily shutting on the two of you when it started to pour outside and you heard the backdoor. “I bet that’s how you imagined that going.”

“I never thought it would happen,” you said. “Not when I first came here. Love’s for other people. Normal people with normal families.”

“Fuck normal,” he said and you laughed. You picked up a clean tissue and licked it, wiping off a dried tear streak on his cheek. “I feel good.”

“We’re gonna work on that bottling shit up stuff, okay?” you said.

“Maybe you’ll have more success than Dee did,” he chuckled. 

“I’ll just have to build off what she started,” you said. He nodded and cupped your cheek as you finished cleaning him off. “There, all better.”

“Guess you’re out of a nanny job,” he said.

“Oh such a shame,” you said. “I’ve been putting my paychecks for the last while to a separate account.”

“I did notice that,” he said. “Saving for something?”

“Wanted to give it back to you.”

“Honeymoon fund instead?”

“Okay, now we’re talking,” you said with a laugh.

“You never did tell me how much your book deal got you.”

“I signed a multi-year deal. They think there’s great potential for it to be one of those series every kid reads. One million for around twenty books?”

“Fuck. You should be my agent if you can negotiate like that,” he said.

“I’m still gonna take care of them like I have been,” you said. 

“I know. It’s probably going to be a million times harder now actually,” he said. You nodded and he smiled. “You love them.”

“Yes but I don’t know how to be a parent.”

“Just do what you’ve been doing and it’ll be fine,” he said. “It’ll change but it’ll be good.”

“Not really how I was expecting today to go,” you said. 

“Me either. I had hoped for that to be a tad more romantic,” he said. You gave him a kiss and hug, Jensen returning it. “You don’t care.”

“Nah,” you said. “Just care about you. Everything else, I’m good.”

“Want to go share the news with our eavesdropper?” he asked. You helped him up to his feet and took his hand, walking out of the room, Jared and Gen suspiciously wiping down their kitchen counter. “Or should I say eavesdroppers.”

“We were concerned and I swear we left after Jared tossed the tissues in,” said Gen. Jared shook his head and pointed at her. “I swear he did it.”

“Guess you guys heard then,” said Jensen, giving you a smile. “We’re gonna give it a shot.”

“You okay?” asked Jared. Jensen nodded and squeezed your hand. “You sure?”

“I know what I want,” said Jensen. “I’ve known for a long time. Finally got over being scared is all.”

“She wasn’t gonna hurt you,” said Jared with a smile.

“I know. It was a different fear,” he said. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” you said. “Promise.”

“You better not, sweetheart.”

It was dark by the time the storms had passed, all three kids going down easy after spending most of the day running around the Padalecki house. You sat on the balcony off of Jensen’s bedroom in the oversized lounge chair, Jensen sat on the other side of the small side table your drink rested on.

“I’ve never been on a boat before,” you said, staring up at the dark night sky, the only light coming from a few string ones Jensen had turned on.

“Never?” asked Jensen. “Better wear your life jacket tomorrow then.”

“You better wear your life jacket,” you said. “We both know I’m a better swimmer than you.”

“You’re a better swimmer than me? Me?” he chuckled. “No way.”

“Put your money where your mouth is. Five bucks says I’m a better swimmer,” you said. He waved the way towards the door and you stood up, walking downstairs and outside.

“Uh, you missing something?” he chuckled. You smirked and pulled off your shirt and undid your jeans, shimming out of them and leaving them by the patio. “You really think…” 

“I really think what?” you said, tossing your bra at him, leaving your underwear behind. You jumped in and swam out to the deep end. “You’re already losing Jensen.”

“Losing my ass,” he said, taking off his shirt and jeans, nearly tripping as he hopped out of his boxer briefs. He jumped in nearby and swam over to you, dunking his head under briefly. “I could get used to this look.”

“Nothing you’ve not seen before.”

“Never seen my fiance naked before,” he grinned. You rolled your eyes but swam over and gave him a kiss. “I knew you had a thing for dorks you know.”

“Did you now?”

“Told me yourself. Not a fan of cocky guys I recall.”

“Well...a little cock is okay. Highly recommended in fact,” you said. 

“You are such a loser,” he laughed.

“I must have learned it from you.” You giggled and swam back to the shallow end, Jensen lazily chasing after. “I’ve never skinny dipped until just now actually.”

“Got anything on your bucket list you want to try out?” he asked. You shrugged and took a seat on a step, Jensen settling in next to you. “Naked trounce on the trampoline?”

“Maybe another time,” you said. You leaned back and looked up at the dark sky once more. He reached over and held your hand in the water, playing with it quietly. “Skydiving would be cool. Space would be cool.”

“One of those is a lot more feasible than the other. I noticed up in Canada where we had more stars at night you really like looking at them.”

“Did it a lot as a kid. Kinda always have,” you said. “I like space as much as the next gal but it’s just pretty, you know? You’re one little speck out in all of those stars. It’s all so freaking complex but you can kinda look up at them and it’s just so simple too.”

“Yeah,” he said, toying with a strand of hair floating in the water. “I get that.”

You turned and found him staring at you, a smile on his lips. 

“We could go camping sometime, see all the stars there are up there if you’d like,” he said.

“We don’t have to do that,” you said. 

“Why?” he asked quietly. “I’m curious is all. It seems like something you’d really enjoy seeing.”

“What purpose does it serve though? It’s not something fun for the kids to experience,” you said. “It’s a waste of money.”

“It doesn’t have to have a purpose. It’s for you, for us. A night away where you get to see something most people don’t ever get a chance. That’s the only purpose,” he said. “Camping’s about the cheapest thing you can do. Don’t worry about the money. You don’t have to worry about that ever again.”

“I just don’t want to go camping,” you said. You looked down and swallowed. “I used to go camping with my dad a lot.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do that to me,” you said. “I just...I don’t think I ever want to go again.”

“Okay. Would you go camping with me sometime?” he asked. 

“Jensen-”

“Just me. No body else. I won’t even touch you except to cuddle,” he said. You nodded and he smiled. “Thank you. It won’t be scary this time. I promise.”

“Is your dad nice?” you asked. He leaned back against his elbows and nodded. “Does he know about me?”

“My parents know I have a girlfriend. My mom knows I was getting pretty serious about you,” he said. 

“Do they know I was the nanny? Or how old I am?”

“No. My siblings do but not my parents,” he said. You sat up and wrapped your arms around yourself in the warm night air. “I’m not embarrassed of you Y/N. I think that’s a conversation better had in person is all.”

“You haven’t told them because you think they’ll have a problem with it,” you said. 

“Not as much problem as when I say I’m not having a prenup,” he said. You turned your head and saw him smiling back. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t trust you completely.”

“Jensen I don’t want to cause a problem,” you said. He shook his head and you sighed. “I know how close you are with them and you haven’t gotten to see them since Christmas. I know exactly what they’re gonna think of me when they hear about the former nanny.”

“You don’t seem to understand yet that you? Nobody is more important than you and those three in there. If they can’t accept you then screw ‘em.”

“Jensen.”

“I’m not worried and you know why? I love you and you love me. I know they love me a whole lot too so you’re on the same side.”

“You’re a bad liar,” you said. He sat up and sighed. “Jens-”

“I don’t know how they’ll act. But you deserve a chance and that’s what I expect out of them. I want them to love you too but at a minimum you’ll have their respect.”

You nodded and sunk down in the warm water, Jensen sliding over and taking a seat on your lap, tossing his arms around your shoulders. 

“You still talk to Dee’s parents right?” you asked. He nodded and wrapped his legs loosely around your waist. “Do they…”

“No,” he said quietly. “They deserve for that to be an in person conversation too. They’re coming up soon for JJ’s birthday soon. I figured I’d tell them then.”

“I’m glad you still talk to them,” you said. “They still see you guys.”

“Christmas was hard last year. I’m not sure which one of us got it worse,” he said. 

“I’d like to meet them if that’s okay.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out. “I’m not sure how they’ll react honestly.”

“I’d still like to,” you said, stepping out into the water with him, Jensen hanging off of you. “If only you were this light normally I’d carry you around all day.”

“Didn’t we agree a long time ago you were the badass princess after all,” he said, bumping his nose against yours. 

“Here I thought you’d be taller,” you teased, quickly kissing him.

“Little shit,” he grinned. He nuzzled your cheek and you let out a deep breath. “Don’t worry about them.”

“At least we don’t have to go through this on my side,” you said.

“Can I ask one thing of you?”

“What?”

“Ray, your mom’s boyfriend, did things end badly between the two of you or you just drift apart? You said you left when you finished high school.”

“I stopped talking to him awhile ago. I moved out at 18 when I got my first nanny job. He was dating his wife Sarah by then. I’d come over for dinner every few months for a few years. By the time I was twenty one they were married with two kids. I didn’t go one time and kept putting it off and Ray told me it was okay if I didn’t want to see him anymore. I could call him if I ever needed him, that sort of thing. I haven’t spoken to him in nine years. But that’s not asking something of me, is it.”

“Can we consider inviting him to the wedding?”

“Been engaged eight hours and already planning?” you asked. 

“I don’t know him but he had a part in raising you. Just consider it is all I ask. And wedding? Those things take fucking forever to plan, trust me.”

“I’ll think about it,” you said, spinning him around in the water. “Are they really that complicated to put together?”

“Nah. Don’t go bridezilla on me is all,” he said. 

“Total diva over here,” you said, feeling the edge of the shallow end start to drop off with your foot. You spun around one more time before you had to set him down, Jensen taking the chance to pick you up and toss you out of of the water. “Jensen! I’m naked!”

“I know. It’s awesome,” he said, swimming out and kissing your cheek. “Wanna race?”

“Winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser when we head upstairs?” you grinned.

“Oh, you’re so on.”

______

A/N: Read Part 10 here!

[life-rewritten]

Color Rush- Crushes and Obstacles (Ep 5-6)

So I already analysed episode 5 of Color rush with the question focusing on the nature vs nurture of monos and probes. We basically have a show that keeps reminding us about the world and stigma of being a mono, the psychological regression, issues and lack of control that occurs once a  mono meets their fated probe. Because of this ideology, our main character finds himself being forced to make a choice of if he should embrace becoming a monster to keep his probe by his side or if he should be alone forever stuck in a depressive state, empty and lifeless. The issue with this way of thought is that apart from maybe the media showing him clues about how monos react when they meet their probes, there's not enough evidence in my opinion that this is the only choice/way for a mono and probe to end up. Especially since our mono had seen a relationship where it was more or less successful before the mono maybe lost control once the probe died, that's his mum and dad. So this analysis focuses more on that same question is it really the only ending for a mono and probe relationship; to end with chaos, and pain, and obsession, kidnaps, crimes etc., or is this just all a placebo effect that has been embedded into the minds of monos to be this way.

Monos and Their Probes

Let's look at the details of episode 5 and 6. Yeonwoo and Yoohan's relationship evolves as they both start to fall more and more for each other. For Yeonwoo, this is hard because he's never known what that feels like, and his crush and attraction to Yeonwoo is even more enhanced in his mind because of the connection and link to Yoohan being his probe. But if we don't focus on the fact that Yoohan and Yeonwoo are probes and monos and just see them as two high school boys who have feelings for each other who went on a date, went home after and chilled, their relationship becomes like every other normal relationship, no danger, no questions of obsession and addiction. Pause.

Devotion vs Obsession

When we have feelings for people we tend to become obsessed and addicted to their presence just a bit, it's because of the serotonin, and dopamine released when we have a puppy love, a crush or even when we start to fall even more deeply for someone. It's feelings of happiness, of euphoria, excitement, and more. So Yeonwoo and Yoohan just like every other couple are going through phases of these euphoric feelings, wanting to spend as much time with each other as possible, wanting to touch each other, wanting to stay together every single time. It's what happens in a honeymoon phase of a relationship. You can't let go of the other person. Now this doesn't mean for us we want to go kidnap and commit crimes to keep our crush next to us, we may miss them, and want to keep talking to them but it doesn't mean we're insane, addicted or obsessed. Do you see my point?

I think Yeonwoo truly has exaggerated his feelings of a crush on Yoohan. He's made it so much more worse than it has to be because he's been fearmongered by the media into thinking just because he doesn't want Yoohan to leave it means he's turning into a monster when really he's just liking and crushing on his new crush. He didn't have to make the decision to go buy these kidnapping tools and to think of ways to make himself a monster, since that's the only choice he believes he's left with. No, he could have like every other normal person just missed him. So why is Yeonwoo letting himself go deeper into obsession and addiction and letting himself think he is a monster? In order to really look deeper to see if it's truly the only end for a mono, or if it's the environment that is making them this way; we have to analyse the psychological mindset of monos when they meet with their probes

Monos: The world of Lonliness and Depression 

The metaphor already for monos is lack; they lack color, lack brightness, lack vibrancy in their lives. They've been forced since birth to see the world in such a dark and oblique way. And as they find out about their condition, they are seen as monsters from the get-go, forced to be alone to avoid people in case they bump into their fated probes. The loneliness and the forced mindset of a mono to stay in this lifeless energy is really psychologically depressing and tiring. And it's when they get a glimpse of hope, of companionship, love, colour, and more with their probes that Monos start to feel happy and joyful. Now it doesn't have to be this way, Monos could end up feeling comfortable with their condition if they were just treated equally and right, but no they're prejudiced, pushed away and bullied horribly once it's discovered that this is what they are.

From a young age, monos are told that they are going to be monsters, they are going to hurt people, they are going to lose their minds one day. And this is just exacerbated in the media with fears and warnings of how monos interact with their probes. If from a young age, a mono is repeatedly told, this is who they are, then it forms a placebo belief and effect, and brainwash that this is the only way they can be. Mono's don't see any other way out, or a chance to be different because everyone feeds to them the same narrative of pain, despair and obsession. And it sucks. Look at how immediately Yeonwoo's aunt reacts when she notices Yeonwoo and Yoohan have found each other, she immediately scolds him and tells him he has to move, so he doesn't break and lose his sanity. She doesn't give it the benefit of the doubt, or ask questions; she resorts immediately into trying to push them away from each other.

Now, this makes sense because she has lost her sister who was a mono who probably lost her mind once her probe died. And then went missing/ taken by maybe another mono (that's what it seems Yeonwoo and his aunt believe happened). Because of this, there is a negative stigma with the aunt on how monos can behave, she has already lost so much because of monos, and so she doesn't want Yeonwoo to be the same. The aunt is like everybody else in this world, whose first reaction to monos is to push away and to avoid, this world isolates and distances monos away from a chance to be happy, and live freely because of their condition.

The Psychological Implications of Being a Mono

The psychological implications of being a mono are so fascinating to me. It's like a psychological disorder (despite it not being that way) are all psychopaths forced to hurt and become serial killers? Are all sociopaths meant to avoid people just because there's a higher tendency that people could get hurt if it goes awry? No. Because just because you have a gene or a link to a family member that went crazy and started hurting people, it doesn't mean you would make the same choice and do the same thing. Not everyone is the same just because they have the same disorder or mindset. And that's the same for monos, monos don't have to go crazy and hurt their probes. The separation from their probes obviously enhances anxiety and fear of going back into this lifeless, darkness that they finally found a way out of; this is what drives their actions. It's just enhanced emotions and enhanced fears, but they don't have to act on it, the people who do act on it are people who were weak or predisposed to other factors that make them want to be violent. Yeonwoo doesn't have to plan ways to kidnap or take Yoohan when Yoohan would gladly stay by his side. He doesn't have to be this broken or fearful of becoming a monster; he's making these choices because he has a placebo mindset that this is who he should become. And it's heartbreaking.

The thing is we see  Yoohan and Yeonwoo having a great time together, being happy and liking each others company without the color rush having to be the only focus of why they're interacting. We do get to see Yeonwoo panic because of decolouring, and he enhances those emotions because of his already ingrained anxiety about what it means to want to keep Yoohan by his side. The way I see it, Yeonwoo has formed an anxiety about who he is because of how the world treats him and other monos, and because he has that issue with stress coupled with physical evidence that he's losing colour, it drives him to think it's a sign he's becoming a monster. It's not.

First of all, of course, he becomes worried and scared about losing colours, the decolouring effect is like going from a high to a low, when colour rush happens to monos it's a euphoric effect, it doesn't last, but like a drug it can lead to a crash and a hangover, so of course immediately Yoohan leaves Yeonwoo starts to crash and regress back into seeing the world as grey, and that makes his mindset also feel depressed coupled with the fact he does not want Yoohan to go because of his crush (not dependency). So Yeonwoo misunderstands his reactions when Yoohan leaves as him becoming addicted and obsessed with Yoohan with no point of return when really he's just moody because his high is gone and he misses Yoo Han as a normal person does with their crush. So he's talking himself into thinking the only explanation is his dependency on Yoohan for color and his obsession as a mono growing. And it's sad, monos have been forced to feel this way, that they're predatory, horrifying and cruel in their love when really they've just met the one, and they wish to be happy.

Society vs Monos

It's his aunty who triggers this emotion, her conversation with him made him think there's no other way out of becoming this monster because she put that fear that he may be forced to separate from Yoohan. And this is really where I think Monos become the versions they are shown (crazy, obsessed, crimes) in the news because not every mono and probe is going to be in love, not every probe may want to be with their monos, everyone has a different circumstance and that fear of losing colors, may drive a mono to doing things. However, I don't think it's natural for them to become so obsessed and so desperate to live with colors so much that they hunt down their probes and hurt others. That's a specific few, ones that had those warped mindsets, or a more problematic background or a harsher philosophy. Not everyone becomes violent, some monos probably retreat from their probes and stay depressed, some fall in love with someone who isn't a probe, there are so many different ways it could go, the thing is monos are only shown in one light, and that's the people who chose to go far to keep their probes by their side through fear.

This self-hate and deprecation Yeonwoo has of who he is naturally reminds me so much of internalised homophobia, hating who you are naturally and thinking you're wrong because of how society has made you see yourself. It's the same feelings; the disgust, the anxiety, the repression etc. And we've already mentioned how monos and probes are probably metaphors of LGBTQ+ struggle, society making monos think it's wrong to be with the people who love them and they love. This self-hate will make Yeonwoo feel he has no other option but to check himself into a hospital or institution or to (trigger warning)  end his life. And that's just so messed up. I've seen many people question his mindset because from what we're seeing his mother seems like she had a happy marriage with his father, shouldn't she be proof that monos and probes can be healthy? But I think we're forgetting that his father died, and from knowing how monos react to missing their probes, I'm guessing his mum couldn't take it and also lost some of her sanity or she fell into depression and couldn't get out of that. Also as mentioned, I think Yeonwoo thinks it's a mono that kidnapped his mum, and so that also maybe gives him more resentment towards who he is, and again makes him think monos only end up committing crimes and hurt people they love.

But we need to know more about why he thinks this way and what other evidence they have about his mother's missing case. Plus his mother has not been by his side for four years, and in those four years he's been bullied, mistreated, have to move schools each time his condition is found out, so it's been a long time of society again making him think he's a monster, and without his mum there to help him see different, he just follows that mindset, unfortunately.

Yeonwoo and Yoohan; Just a crush

For Yeonwoo and Yoohan, their relationship is not just based on dependence, Yeonwoo thinks it's the colours, and he does not understand it's just feelings and him liking Yoohan since he first met him. Yeonwoo has had to push people away, and find excuses not to have friends, and Yoohan barged into his life without warning, both have been attracted and wanting each other from the start. Yeonwoo struggled with this information and rationalised it into thinking it's because he wants the colour rush, but it isn't that, it's more than that, he just wants to be happy, in love and with Yoohan. Yoohan is the same as Yeonwoo, he's also had to push people away, and alienate himself, and not care about the world or society because of his own condition, seeing Yeonwoo made him want to do more, he liked what Yeonwoo was to him, he liked having a crush on Yeonwoo, and so he also found himself wanting to stay with Yeonwoo for as long as he can. For a long time I've also been thinking he was just as obsessed and addicted to Yeonwoo like monos are to their probes, but no, he's a teenage boy with a crush, and so is Yeonwoo. We also let the media and how society views mono make us feel worried and scared about these two's relationship forming and whilst it was thrilling to think it could be more dangerous than it is, it's really just two people falling in love with each other, and one psychologically scarred and brainwashed into thinking there's something wrong with who he is naturally. And that's just painful.

So yeah Color Rush; a look into psychological mindsets, nature vs nurture, the addictive feeling of what love is, and more, this show is so fun to watch and analyse and see how it's going to turn out, but there are moments where it hurts and makes you think and question how society and media play a role in showing minorities, how they control the narrative about certain things and if that's right. Fearmongering, prejudiced mindsets and more isn't cool, but the world has always been led by these ignorant ideas without education and open mindsets, and it sucks. So watching color rush is an interesting metaphor and symbolism for the struggles some people have because of stigmas associated with conditions they have from birth, or just ideologies formed that isn't necessarily true about who they are as a person, it only leads to self-hate, depression, anxiety, self-harm just to fit into society's narrative and it sucks. Let's hope Yoohan shows Yeonwoo he's not a monster, and he's okay being himself and loving Yoohan. he doesn't have to hurt or go insane and do crimes because he's a mono. He'll be fine.  

[phantasticworks]

If You Don't Love Me, Pretend - Epilogue

Well. So here we are. it's been a long time (about three years actually) since I started writing this fic and it's grown significantly out of my control since then :') if you've been along since the start, or if you've just found this fic today, thank you for coming along this journey with me. It's been incredible and I'm forever grateful for all the support this fic has gotten <3 thank you so much for reading. keep your eyes peeled for bonus content!

read on ao3

Words: 3.9k

Summary: Three years later

Warnings for this chapter: none

It’s nearly six in the evening and there’s a chiming noise coming from the laptop in the lounge. Dan curses under his breath as he makes his way from the kitchen, hoping and praying the volume isn’t loud enough to wake a certain someone.

He gets there just as the Skype call is about to end, and is quick to press the “accept” button as he scoops the laptop up, retreating back to the kitchen with it. “Hi,” he whispers.

“Hey,” Phil says from the screen, a little smile on his face. “I thought you forgot about me.”

Dan rolls his eyes, setting the laptop on the island countertop and settling on a barstool. “Right. God forbid I’m two seconds late to our Skype call.”

Phil does an adorable pout. “I’ve been gone a week, I miss your face. Is that a crime?”

Dan smirks. “Yep. I’m gonna call the police, have them arrest you on the spot.”

“Hm.” Phil considers it for a moment. “I don’t think I like handcuffs enough for that.” He’s got this smug little look on his face, like he knows a secret.

Annoyingly, Dan blushes at that. “Shut up. You don’t get to flirt when you’re, like, on the other side of the freaking planet.”

Phil gives him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, hon. I’ll be back home in a couple days, though.”

Dan nods, propping an elbow up and resting his chin in his hand. “I know. I just miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Phil replies easily. Dan loves that even now, after all this time, they’re still this disgustingly obsessed with each other.

“How’s work been?” Dan asks, changing the subject before he gets sad. He hates it when he gets sad during their Skype calls, especially when he starts crying.

Phil sighs, shrugging. “It’s been alright. I’m exhausted, though. You’d think I’d stop offering to go to these sorts of things for the BBC, but apparently I can’t help myself.”

Dan smiles at him. “You’re a dedicated worker. It’s a good thing.”

“Not when it takes me away from you guys for weeks at a time,” Phil mumbles petulantly. Dan has to agree there. “Speaking of, where are our kids?”

Nearly three years since the adoption was finalized and Dan still adores the sound of that. “The twins are upstairs, I think doing homework. I was starting dinner when you called.”

“Oh, sorry,” Phil says, smiling sheepishly.

Dan waves him off. “It’s fine. I’m doing stir-fry tonight, it won’t take long anyway.”

Phil nods at this, then asks, “Levi out with Charlotte?”

Dan smiles and nods. “Yeah. They went to see a movie, I think.”

“Did you make sure he had enough money?” Phil asks. He’s always got this perpetual fear that their son will be stranded somewhere with no money and no way home, so Dan’s gotten good at reassuring him.

“Yes,” he says patiently. “I let him borrow the car, and I told him that there’s some in the console if they need it.”

Phil nods, but his face is stricken with another worried look. Dan knows what’s coming before he says it. “Did they wear seatbelts? Are you sure he’s ready to drive on his own? I mean-“

“Babe,” Dan interrupts. “He’s nearly eighteen. He’s passed all his tests, gotten his license, and he’s practiced a lot. He’s earned a little bit of trust, yeah?”

He can tell Phil is still a little nervous and weary, but he nods in agreement. “Okay,” he says with a breath. “I just worry about him.”

Dan looks down, hiding his smile. His husband could be such an anxious mess when his kids were involved. “I know. But he’s fine. They’re fine. Charlotte’s aunt said she could stay the night, so they’ll be back soon, I’m sure.”

“Oh, make sure you make her a separate serving of the stir-fry. She’s still doing the vegetarian thing, and I don’t want her to go hungry,” Phil says.

Dan’s heart clenches. He’s so full of love and that ooey-gooey affection that hasn’t dulled at all over the years.

“Sure,” he agrees with a smile.

“How’s-“ Phil begins to speak, but before he can, a piercing cry comes from the lounge. Dan jumps, and Phil laughs. “Speak of the devil,” he grins.

Dan makes a protesting noise. “Don’t you dare call our daughter a devil,” he chastises playfully.

Phil rolls his eyes. “Go get her, I’ll wait.”

Dan nods and quickly makes his way to the lounge, straight over to where the crying noise is coming from the bassinet in the corner. “Oh, dear,” Dan tuts in a high-pitch voice. Phil makes fun of him when he does that, calling him Winnie the Pooh every time. Dan leans down, smiling at the little bundle resting there, the crying softening to a sniffle when Dan scoops the baby up.

“Shh,” he whispers. “There we go. Daddy’s here, love.” He strokes her little fingers, grinning wetly when she clutches onto his pinky. “Aww, what a sweet thing. Do you wanna see your other Dad? Yes! Let’s go see Dada.”

He’s careful as he makes his way back to the kitchen, and he glances up at the laptop, smiling when he sees the way Phil is beaming at him through the screen. “Hello there,” he coos softly. “Oh, sweet angel. How’s she been today?” His tone shifts when he speaks to Dan, and Dan glances up at him again, having gotten lost in staring at her cute little face.

“She’s been a lot better today. I think Kath was right about the colic,” Dan says, absently stroking her little hand as he rocks her gently.

Phil nods. “So it was probably just gas?” He asks.

“I think so. I gave her a warm bath and did the bicycle thing with her legs earlier and she seems to be loads better now,” Dan replies.

“Good,” Phil says with a smile. “I read somewhere that if they’re still having trouble you can have them lay on their tummies and that might help.”

Dan nods. “I’ll try that if she gets fussy again. But the crying finally stopped, thank god.” He’s not religious but he’s not kidding in his thanks. The crying was literally about to drive him insane.

“I know, babe. I’m sorry I haven’t been there this week,” Phil says, his eyes dropping with something like shame.

Dan wishes he could kiss him right now. “It’s fine, Phil. We’ve been fine.”

“Still...” Phil shrugs. “I wish I would’ve been there.”

Dan smiles. “I know. But next time you will be, yeah? At least the BBC isn’t sending you out all the time these days.”

Phil nods. “Thank god. And thank god that Bryony lets you work from home.”

“I know, right?” Dan grins. He’s still a little over the moon about his career shift, even though he does find himself struggling to do both jobs part-time. But that’s something he won’t let himself worry about now.

The baby gurgles in his arms, and Dan coos at her. “What? Is our baby girl hungry? Hm? Time for din-din?”

“I guess I should probably let you go,” Phil says, sounding sad.

Dan glances up at him, frowning at the thought. He really does miss him a lot. “You don’t have to. Do you want to talk to the kids before you go?”

Phil smiles and nods. “Yeah, I’d love that.”

“Let me go grab them. Hang on,” Dan gently bounces the baby as he goes to the end of the stairs, covering her little ears gently before calling out, “Mia! Jai! Come here for a second!”

There’s some shouts of agreement and then Dan listens to the stampede of little feet as they race down the stairs. Thank god they’d finally moved into a house that they actually own, with neighbors far enough away that they can’t complain about the sounds that fill a house full of children.

Still, old habits die hard, and Dan gives them a look when they reach the bottom. “What did we say about running?” He asks.

The nine-year-olds at least have the decency to look ashamed. “Sorry,” Jaiden says, stepping closer and stroking his baby sister’s cheek with a gentle finger. “Hi, Nat-Nat,” he coos.

Dan smiles at that. “Dad’s on Skype, he wants to talk to you guys,” Dan says, and the words are barely out of his mouth when the twins are barreling off towards the kitchen. He rolls his eyes as he follows after them, mumbling to the baby all the while. “Sure, Daddy’s been feeding them and keeping them alive this week, but as soon as Dada is mentioned, it’s like I’m chopped liver,” he complains with the same baby-voice he always uses when talking to her.

She gurgles and Dan sighs. “You’re right. Dada is the best.”

When he reaches the kitchen again, both kids are hovered by the laptop, rambling about their day. They’re interrupting each other more often than not, but Phil seems to be getting the gist of everything regardless. Dan busies himself with preparing a bottle for Natalie, humming to her as he heats up the water. He smiles and makes faces at her to keep her occupied, and his heart leaps when her lip curls just a little.

“Aren’t you Daddy’s little angel? Hm? Our precious girl?” He says in a sweet voice, smiling when she smacks her lips. “Oh, someone is hungry, huh?”

Apparently Amelia is listening to him, because she pipes up from across the room. “I’m hungry,” she says loudly.

“I know, love, I’m going to start dinner as soon as I feed Nat and put her down for another nap,” Dan replies.

Amelia huffs. She mutters something, and Dan tenses. Things had been a little tense since they brought Natalie home over a month ago, and Amelia was not shy about telling them how much she didn’t want a little sister for the months leading up to Natalie’s birth. Dan hates to think that this is their reality for the rest of forever, Amelia disliking her little sister to the point of contempt, but at this point, he wasn’t sure.

“Amelia,” Dan hears Phil say over the Skype call. He’s using his fatherly warning tone, and Dan is partially relieved. This week has been hell trying to balance four kids and a job (thank god it’s summer and his school counselor tasks were more sparse this time of year) as well as the weird energy Amelia has towards the baby, so it’s a relief for Phil to finally step in.

“I know,” Amelia says with an irritated sigh, rolling her eyes. Dan gives her a look, and she looks down.

“Honey, I know you don’t like this change in our family, but that’s just the way things are now, okay? Natalie is here to stay, and sooner or later you need to figure out how to live with that,” Phil tells her firmly.

Dan’s careful not to say anything. There’s been many times, over the years, where he’s been inclined to argue with Phil over their parenting methods, and there’s been times when those arguments have become proper fights. But they’re working on communication, both with each other and their kids, so this time, he keeps his mouth shut. Honestly, there’s not anything Phil said that he doesn’t agree with, so it’s not a hardship to let him take the lead on this one.

Amelia rubs at her eyes. “Fine,” she says tersely.

Dan’s heart clenches. He hates to see any of his children in pain, and he knows that Amelia isn’t wrong to be upset. A new sibling is an upending of her life, and especially since she’s gone from being the only daughter to just the oldest. He thinks about how he felt, at seven years old, when Adrian was born. He gets it.

“Mia, do you want to help me cook dinner tonight?” Dan asks.

Amelia brightens a little at that. “Can I chop peppers?”

Dan smiles. “You sure can. I need my favorite sous chef if I’m going to feed the masses in an orderly time,” he says with a wink.

She giggles, and he relaxes. Amelia starts to tell Phil about something that had happened earlier that day when Dan took them to the park, and Dan hurries about finishing Natalie’s bottle so he can feed her. She’s starting to get fussy, and he’s bouncing her carefully as he readies the bottle, checking the temperature on his wrist.

“Here we go,” he says softly, tucking the bottle nipple in her mouth. “Good stuff, huh?” He smiles down at her, stroking her soft little cheek. Her eyes drift shut and he allows himself to relax, wandering back over to the laptop and standing behind the kids so he can see Phil again.

“And Daddy said that tomorrow we’re gonna go to the zoo,” Amelia announces proudly.

“Might,” Dan says, emphasizing the word strongly. “I said we might go to the zoo.” He rolls his eyes at Phil, shaking his head in exasperation.

“But Daddy-“ Amelia whines.

Dan’s already shaking his head at her. “Nope, don’t start. I said we might go. Honestly, I don’t know if I can handle toting all three of you around by myself.”

“Toting all three of them around where?” A voice says, interrupting Amelia’s next complaint.

Dan turns around where Levi and Charlotte are walking into the kitchen and smiles at them. “The zoo. Possibly. Hi, Lottie. How was the movie?”

Charlotte shrugs, going to settle on the barstool closest to Amelia, accepting the hug Amelia gives her with a smile. “It was alright. The special effects were horrible. You’re going to hate the ending.”

“No spoilers!” He protests, shaking his head adamantly since he doesn’t have an empty hand to gesture with.

She grins and pretends to zip her lips before turning to the laptop, the Skype call still open. Phil is smiling at them, that goofy kind that Dan knows well. It usually means Phil is thinking about how lucky they are to have this life. Dan understands the feeling.

“Hi, Phil,” Charlotte greets with a little wave.

“Hi,” he waves back with a smile. “Did you guys wear your seatbelts?”

Charlotte nods, but Dan notices her give Levi a pointed look and Levi sighs, pulling out his wallet. Dan watches in amusement as he takes out a couple pounds, handing them to her with a roll of his eyes. When she notices Dan looking at her, Charlotte shrugs, looking only a little bit sheepish. “We had a bet on whether or not one of you would ask us about that,” she explains.

Dan snorts. He turns to Levi, giving him a fake disappointed look. “Probably should’ve seen that one coming, Levi.”

Levi sighs. “I knew that you probably wouldn’t, and I wasn’t counting on Dad being here when we got home.”

“Sorry,” Phil says with a grin.

“Are we ever gonna have dinner?” Amelia wails, interrupting whatever it was Phil was going to say next.

“I’m starving,” Jaiden agrees from beside her. He turns to look at Dan, pouting. “Wouldn’t it be easier to just order pizza?”

Dan looks straight at Phil, giving him a very pointed look. “That one is all yours,” he says, nodding to Jaiden.

Phil at least has the decency to look almost embarrassed. “I mean... he’s got a fair point, babe,” Phil says with a little grin.

Dan sighs. Natalie’s bottle makes a snapping noise and Dan looks down to find she’s only got a couple swallows left in the nipple. He’s careful to watch and pull it out of her mouth before she can start swallowing any air, placing it on the counter to be washed later as he grins at her. “Well done Nat-Nat! You finished all your din-din.”

The baby gurgles at him and Dan smiles as he takes her up to his shoulder, burping her gently. The kids are still talking amongst themselves, but Dan catches Phil watching him through the screen. He smiles helplessly, shrugging at his husband, and Phil grins back.

“I guess I should let you go so you can put her down and start dinner,” Phil says, a resigned sigh in his voice.

Dan hates it, but he’s right. Dan could sit here talking to Phil all evening instead of ever bothering to cook dinner, and with a houseful of hungry children, that’s hardly an option. “Yeah, I guess so,” Dan agrees. “Everyone, say goodnight to Dad, he’s gotta go eat some dinner and get to bed, and so do we.”

The kids all make their noises of complaint but he watches, rocking the baby with a smile, as each of the kids tell Phil goodnight. Dan shoos them all out of the kitchen with Levi’s help, and then it’s just Phil and Dan and the baby.

“I miss you,” Dan says.

Phil smiles. “I miss you more.”

Dan shakes his head, resting his cheek gently against Natalie’s little head. “I seriously doubt that,” he says softly.

“It’s true,” Phil replies, dropping his chin to rest in his hand. “But I’ll be home soon, okay?”

Dan nods. “Right,” he agrees. “I love you.”

Phil blows him a kiss, their usual parting on these calls. “I love you too, bub. I’ll text you later, yeah?”

“Okay. Goodnight. Love you.”

Phil grins when Dan repeats himself. “Goodnight, Dan. I love you. Tell the kids I’ll be home soon.”

“Of course. Bye,” he says, waving for a second before the screen goes black. He sighs, looking down at Natalie’s sweet, sleepy little face. “I can’t wait for your other Dad to come home, munchkin. This one needs a break and a good snuggle.”

She smacks her lips and closes her eyes and Dan smiles, rolling his eyes. “I know, your life is so hard, being a baby. Let’s get you down for another nap, love.”

~~~

The next night, Dan wakes up from a deep sleep to warm breath on his neck. At first he’s confused, grunting as he tries to roll over, but a heavy weight around his waist stops him. “What the...”

“Shh,” a deep and unmistakable voice murmurs in his ear. “‘M tryin’ sleep.”

Suddenly, Dan is wide awake, rolling over quickly despite the protests from his husband. “Phil,” he breathes, warm and happy.

Phil blinks at him, a goofy, exhausted smile on his face. “Hi,” he says sheepishly.

Dan wraps himself around Phil immediately, peppering kisses to everywhere he can reach. “I missed you,” he kisses across Phil’s brow bone, feeling Phil’s breath on his collarbones. “So much.”

“I missed you too,” Phil replies with a little laugh, kissing at Dan’s throat.

Something occurs to Dan then and he pulls away, staring at Phil with a furrowed brow. “I thought you weren’t coming home until tomorrow.” He doesn’t mean to, but he can’t help but be a little accusatory. He wanted to make sure the house was clean, maybe do some laundry. Just the sort of husband things one did when they were in the best relationship of their life.

Phil gives him a sheepish smile. “I changed my flight so I could come home early and surprise you.”

Dan feels so much all at once, it reminds him of how it was in the early days, before the kids, before the fostering, before they even knew that they had feelings for each other. It’s overwhelming for a moment, and then Phil is tilting his chin, guiding their mouths together in a perfect kiss.

“Mm,” Dan hums against his lips. “I love you.”

Phil laughs. “Love you more.” His hand slips down Dan’s waist, his fingertips dipping just under the hand of Dan’s pants. Dan is hit with a wave of arousal so strong, and it’s not lost on him that it’s been more than a month since they had proper sex. He loved Natalie more than life itself, but raising a baby on top of the three children they already had was proving to be much more difficult than they’d anticipated. But after all they’d been through, the strain of no sex was nothing they couldn’t handle. After all, they’d gone ten years without it before.

Still, he’s only human, and when his husband is petting the soft skin at his hip, he can only react like any mortal man would. “Baby,” he sighs.

“Hm?”

It hits Dan what he’d just said, and he quickly remembers the other inhabitant of this room. “Phil. Phil, the baby,” he mumbles, tapping Phil’s arm.

“Already took care of her,” Phil replies back, kissing at Dan’s jaw.

“What? When?” Dan asks, pushing him back a bit.

Phil smiles. “When I got home. You were already asleep so I checked on the kids and then took Nat downstairs for a bottle and some cuddles.”

“Oh.” The image of that, of Phil coming in late and taking their baby down for her midnight bottle, is nearly enough to make Dan cry and definitely enough to turn him off. “Well, thank you for that, but I don’t think I feel like fooling around tonight, if that’s okay.”

Phil pecks him on the cheek with a little giggle. “Of course that’s okay, you idiot. I didn’t just come home early for that, you know. I mostly missed having my little space heater,” he says with a grin.

Dan rolls his eyes, but can’t help the way he smiles and leans in for another kiss. “Sometimes I think you only married me for my good looks and my stupidly hot body temperature.”

Phil kisses him back, but he’s smiling so hard that it’s sloppy. “Oh for sure. Those were my top two requirements for a husband. Is hot, runs hot.”

Dan snorts. “Right. So, father of your children was somewhere further down that list, I’m assuming?”

“Something like that,” Phil teases.

“You’re such an idiot,” Dan smiles, kissing Phil’s cheek before snuggling in for the night.

“But I’m your idiot,” Phil says in a stupid, sleepy voice.

Dan smiles, pressing one last kiss to Phil’s chest. “Always.”

[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

Fred Weasley requests you say? Well, how about a Fred Weasley x Slytherin girl, their relationship and maybe then fighting in the war. Fred doesn't die because we all know that didn't happen lol or a Fred Weasley x a muggle girl after the war. How they meet how he introduced her to his family? Idk, here's what I've been craving lol hope you have a wonderful day! 😊

I LOVE THESE. LIKE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH OMFG. I'M GOING TO DO THE MUGGLE GIRL IN A SEPARATE ONE BUT THIS IS SO GOOD.

Warnings: Swearing, injuries

Fred noticed you. How could he not you were captivating. Annnndd a bit of a trouble maker which automatically made him like "WOW. SHE'S AWESOME." You had this spectacular sense of humor and this beautiful laugh that you hated but he loved. Fred and George honestly loved to have you around. George loved you like a sister but Fred... Fred was head over heels in love with you. It didn't help that you were staying with them this summer. "George can you PLEASE PICK UP YOUR QUIDDITCH EQUIPMENT!?" Fred whined. "... I'm sorry, how are you the one who's cleaning!?" Ginny asked. "Fred's soulmate is crashing here, you didn't know?" George said and Fred smacked his head with a book. "She cannot see this disaster!" Fred whined. "Dear, it's fine. Although Fred is right, move your quidditch equipment upstairs." Molly said. "Fine!? This is not fine! What do I even say!? Hi Y/n, how's it going!?" Fred asked panicked. "Well, I say it's going fine but I kind of got lost at one point." You answered making Fred whip around. "Hi." You waved. "....How long have you been standing there?" Fred asked. "Like two or three seconds tops." You shrugged. "It is so nice to meet you dear!" Molly said hugging you. "Oh this is happening-- hi." You said surprised. Ron snorted looking at Fred who was obviously screaming internally. "So have you enjoyed your time at hogwarts?" Arthur asked you as you sat down. "Absolutely. Although the other kids in Slytherin are... Annoying." You said. "You're from Slytherin?" Arthur asked curiously. "Sadly." You said. "you don't enjoy it?" Ron asked. "No. Not when Malfoy is always watching my every move." You grumbled. "that boy is absolutely dreadful." Ginny mumbled. "Has he been giving you trouble?" George asked. "... No." You lied. "Y/n, we hang out with you enough to know when you're lying." Fred said. "...Okay so he gives me crap for hanging out with you guys." You shrugged. "there's more." George said. "What--" "There's more to the situation, what is it?" Fred asked. You sighed. "He called me a mudblood." You said. "That insult is still going around?" Arthur asked. "Yeah." You nodded. "I'm going to kill him." Fred muttered. "It's not that big of a deal." You said. "Bullshit." Fred said. "Fred!" Arthur and Molly said in unison. "If this is bothering you, it's a big deal." George agreed. "Guys. I'm fine. Really." You said. "There's more." Ginny said. "Oh not you too!" You sighed. "If you're fighting this hard, something else is wrong, what is it?" Ginny asked. "Nothing! He just.... He just knows how to get under my skin. He said some... Things about Fred and George... And I kind of..." You sighed. "I punched him." You admitted. "What!?" Everyone asked. "In front of his dad." You added. "Oh God, you're the student?" Arthur asked. "You knew!?" Molly gaped. "I heard there was a student who punched his son but... I didn't think." Arthur paused. "Look, it's not that big of a deal, okay!?" You finally snapped. Fred frowned. "Upstairs." He said. "What?" You asked. "Upstairs. Now." He said. You sighed and walked upstairs. "Next time Malfoy gives you trouble you come to me and George. Got it?" He said. "Fred--" "Promise me." Fred said. "...Okay." you nodded.

Fred took this protective nature over you from that point on. When school started back, Fred never left you alone with Draco. He literally would sit in the common room. "Why is this whole common room so dark? How do you even function in here-- is that why you're all so pale!?" Fred asked. You snorted. "I guess so?" You shrugged. Draco scowled at Fred being present. "I see you've brought Weasley." He said. "Problem?" Fred asked. You opened your mouth but Draco spoke. "Of course you'd choose to spend time with her. She's a traitor to her house." He said. "Is that your opinion or is that your father talking?" Fred snapped. "Do not speak of my father." Draco growled. "Don't speak of Y/n like she's an animal and then maybe I'll be less excruciating for you to deal with." Fred said. It was like watching two dogs gearing up to fight. "She practically is one. She's nothing but a mudblo--" Fred's mind was made as he nearly punched Draco but you stopped him. "He's not worth your time Fred." You said. Fred glared at Draco. You both walked towards the exit. "Blood traitor." He said under his breath before you punched Draco in the nose.

So there you sat in detention, Draco and Fred both sitting there. "Why is Weasley here?" Draco grumbled. "I just had to see your pretty face again. Oh Draco take me." Fred said making you snort. "He snuck a howler into Filch's desk." You sighed leaning back into your seat. "That doesn't make any sense that would just earn a--" "It sang." Fred said. "Still--" "Remember the old insulting Slytherin chant?" Fred asked making Draco suck in a breath. You drummed your fingers on the table. "Would you stop that?" Draco snapped. "Okay pretty boy, what the fuck is your problem?" You snapped. "you're my problem! You don't know how to hold your fucking tongue." Draco snapped. "She wouldn't have that problem if you didn't insult her all of the time." Fred said. "Stay out of this Weasley!" Draco said. "Shut up Malfoy!" You said. "Oh my God you two are absolutely insufferable!" Draco said. "We're insufferable!? Have you met you!?" Fred asked. "At least we have reasons for acting the way we do. You're just a dick." You said. "I am not!" Draco said. "Please, you insulted me the second I was in your view!" Fred said. "What do you have against me--" "Why are you always with Potter and his friends!?" Draco snapped. You blinked. "That's why you hate me? Because I hang out with Harry, Ron and Hermione?" You asked. "Yes! You spend time with those insufferable idiots, you come back and you don't shut up!" Draco said. Fred snorted. "This hands down the pettiest thing I've ever heard!" Fred laughed. "I am not petty!" Draco said. "Yes. Yes you are." You said. "I'm friends with Harry because he needs friends. Unlike you he doesn't exactly have a nice home to go back to." You said. Draco sighed. "Still. You get away with everything." Draco said. ".... You say this as I'm sitting in detention.... Please tell me you see the irony and that sentence?" You said. Draco sighed. "Okay maybe not." Draco sighed. "your reasons for hating us are quickly falling apart." Fred said. You looked at Draco. "You don't hate us do you?" You asked. "I never said I did. I just never corrected you." Draco said. "Oh you tricky bastard." Fred noticed. "So why are you... Like that?" You asked. "I'm just aggravated listening to Potter. Over and over that's all anyone hears." Draco muttered. "...I guess that could get irritating." Fred nodded. "I'm sorry." Draco finally said. You blinked a few times. "did you just... Apologize--" "Never speak of this." Draco said. "Of course. We'd never ruin your 'douchier than thou' facade." Fred said making you snort.

Draco stopped giving you so much crap for having Fred around, actually greeting him a couple of times. However he now had a new problem in his hands. You used Draco for an alibi all the time now. The poor bastard went along with it every time driving Filch insane. "I know it was Y/n L/n and Fred Weasley!" "How in the world could it possibly be them when they were with me all day?" Draco would lie. Fred would give him a "Thanks man" nod and George would have to excuse himself to stop from breaking down into a laughing fit. You'd be biting your gums to keep from dying of laughter too and to be honest Even Fred had a hard time keeping it together after hearing the same exasperated sigh from Filch.

Fred always stayed with you though. If you got in trouble, he'd do something to end up in detention with you. If you got hurt in Quidditch he'd be in the medical wing with you. You two were inseparable. You had this massive crush on him that formed after you saw him nearly murder a student for insulting you. Something in you went "Wow... That's attractive". But this year there was this ridiculous dance. You had to watch asking after asking happen in front of you. You were a bit grouchy after seeing so many people ask other people to the Yule. "Hey Y/n!" Fred said, catching up to you as you walked to your dorm. "Hi." You mumbled. He recognized that look. "Is something wrong?" He asked. "Just a whole lot of students being all lovey. It sucks." You muttered. "...Y/n your Slytherin is showing." Fred teased making you smile. "I don't know, everyone seems to be finding love everywhere and it's just aggravating. If I see one more student with a fucking ukulele and a 'go to the yule with me' sign I'm going to scream." You said. "not a fan of musical askings?" Fred asked looking up behind you and shaking his head at a incoming student with a ukulele. "I say, hike up your skirt and ask them normally." You shrugged. "Will you go to the Yule with me?" Fred asked. "Like that. That's norm-- wait seriously?" You asked. "Yes." Fred nodded. Your cheeks heated up. "Uhm... As... As what exactly?" You asked. "Hmm?" Fred asked. "I mean... People are asking their significant others... Are we going as... Something more than friends or..." You asked. He chuckled. "I don't mind being your boyfriend Y/n, but I don't want to overstep any boundaries if you don't want to." Fred said. "I... Uhm..." You shifted, Fred noticing the blush on your face. "I wouldn't... Mind... Dating.." you said quietly. "What was that?" Fred asked. "I wouldn't mind... Dating you." You admitted. Fred smiled and took your books out of your hand. "What-- hey!" You said confused as he walked. "We're going to your dorm right? I hope you realize that you just made me spend even more time with you compared to what I already do." Fred said. "I'm going to try to study! You're not exactly a studious student!" You said. "Oh no dear I'm here as a distraction. A fun distraction that you can make out with when you're bored." He said in your ear making you blush crimson. "Are we still going to your dorm?" He asked. "..............lead the way you little shit." You said.

Weeks went by, Fred always making some sort of contact with you and your favorite thing was his whispers in your ear. He'd wrap his arms around your waist and just whisper compliments in your ear for hours, telling you that you're the best thing in his life. Molly was ecstatic to hear that you two were finally dating. You dreaded that damn dance class though. "Fred, sweetheart, I cannot dance." You said. "Neither can I but we will suck together!" He said making you sigh and take his hand. You two struggled so hard McGonagall was honestly tempted to deduct house points. But after the third try you two got better

When the night of the Yule approached you enlisted the help of your friend Dalia to help you. "So, think you'll blow Weasley's mind tonight?" She asked. "Please, she looks gorgeous she's going make the boy's head explode." Your other friend Riley said. "Har har. I hate that I have to wear heels though. It makes me realize how short I actually am." You sighed. "Haha. Shortie." Riley teased. You flipped her off and Dalia snorted. "Holy shit." George gaped. "George! Is it just you?" Dalia asked. "Yeah.... Fred is actually going to die after seeing you." George gaped. "Is it bad?" You asked. "No! You're just... Wow." He said. "Do you mind walking me there? I have zero confidence walking in these heels." You asked. George nodded and Fred sighed pacing. "Why are you so nervous?" Ron asked. "Yeah, this is literally your girlfriend, you'll be fine." Harry said. "Because what if I say the wrong thing or I do something wrong--" "Woah." Harry said staring at something. "There's so many ways--" "Fred." Ron said staring at the same thing. "That this could go wrong--" "Fred!" Harry and Ron said in unison. "What!?" Fred asked before Harry pointed. You. You were absolutely captivating. Fred sucked in a breath and George helped you down the last step. "Have fun. But not too much fun." George teased before walking away. Fred swallowed hard. "Fred? Is it bad?" You asked. "No! No love you're beautiful!" Fred said. You smiled and he did too. He tucked a stray hair behind your hair and you blushed. "You're absolutely gorgeous dear..." He said softly.

He actually had a ton of fun dancing with you (he may or may not have done the sprinkler at one point). Towards the end of the night you two walked the halls, your shoes in hand. "I swear heels are just to torment women." You whined making Fred chuckle. You shivered and he wrapped his jacket around you. You looked at him and he slinked his arm around your waist. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me... You know that right?" He asked. "I think George would be insulted." You joked making him chuckle. "I love you." He said softly. You kissed him making him smile. "I love you too." You whispered.

Fred and you were this adorable little couple that everyone seemed to have all eyes on. You had no idea how big of a change the games were going to be. You saw Harry come back and you noticed he wasn't getting up. "What's going on--" then you saw Cedric under him, eyes looking up at the sky unblinking. You put a hand over your mouth and Fred's eyes widened pulling you to his chest. "Fred... He's" you whispered. "I know." Fred said softly. The summer was spent helping Harry through grief and shock, along with planning. He made it perfectly clear that Voldemort was back. You had no hesitation joining the order and when you met Sirius he was slightly hesitant to talk to you after seeing the black and green cardigan. But when the phrase "I say we just stab the fuck out of him and call it a day" came out of your mouth Sirius realized how great you were going to be. Umbridge was absolutely awful though, targeting you and the twins. So you gave her hell and participated in the fireworks plan. You all got expelled of course, but hey, at least that dreadful bitch wouldn't be near you. You worked in the shop with them Fred already making up his mind on something. He was going to marry you. After the store officially opened you two remained for closing. "This was the best day I swear." You chuckled. "Can I make it even better?" Fred asked. "You can try." You chuckled. He handed you a box and you looked at him surprised. "Fred... Is this--" "Open it." Fred said. You did, seeing the ring and crying. "Yes you fucking idiot!" You said hugging him.

Molly was ecstatic to have a new daughter join the family, George saying "SHE'S THE COOLEST SISTER EVER!" and Ginny staring at her brother like "...Fuck you too buddy." You agreed though, you wouldn't get married until the war was over. You basically acted as the medic for the order, healing any injuries. So when Sirius didn't come back with them you knew how bad this was going to get. When the war officially approached your heart was pounding. You witnessed the first spell fired and immediately pulled out your wand, ready for combat. Fred protected you, as you did the same for him, eventually saving his life at one point. That's when you noticed Remus. He was dealing with too many attacks and you immediately fought back, defending him best to your abilities before Tonks came in and helped out.

When the battle stopped you nearly had a mental breakdown seeing your dead friend in Hagrid's arms. Draco almost went to the other side, but one "we're here for you Draco" from Fred made him stay put. You listened to Neville, watching Voldemort as you did to make sure he wouldn't dare try to hurt him. That's when you noticed movement. You looked at Harry, grabbing Fred's arm before he gasped for air and you let out a relieved laugh as Draco threw the wand to Harry. You all ran to safety, saving Ginny from Bellatrix as you did and witnessed the final second. You hugged Fred as the battle ended, the family and Harry joining as you did.

After the battle you all sat around the Burrow drinking. Shamelessly. "it's finally over." You said. "We can finally breathe." Ginny said with Harry's arm around her. "We can finally get married." Fred said to you. You blinked. "...Can we... Can we get married now?" You asked making Arthur and Molly look up. One quick trip to a courthouse and a cheap white dress later, you were married and officially a Weasley. Ron might've cried. A lot.

Bill and Fleur basically had you over every other night because you were the only other married couple besides their parents. Actually you and Fleur ended up quite close... She was there when you found out you were pregnant. She had learned enough English from Hermione, so when you said "I need a pregnancy test" she understood "Oh shit she thinks she pregnant." Fleur showed up, paper bag in hand ushering you into your bathroom while Fred was at work. Thirty minutes later and you discovered that you were pregnant. And Fred was home. "Uhm... Hi honey." You said, pregnancy test behind your back. "Hi sweetie. It's been a really tiring day, tell me something good." He said. You swallowed. "I'm pregnant." You said. "....What?" Fred asked. "I'm.. pregnant and Fleur is upstairs she... Brought the pregnancy test see?" You said. He looked at it and then you a few times before kissing you with happy tears. "I'M A DAD! HOLY SHIT!"

[death-himself]

When Logan Met Patton

Part of the Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist AU!

Summary: When ghoul Logan first got his soulmarks, he wasn't all too interested in meeting his soulmates. At least until he finds out Patton is a vampire and that there are in fact more species than just ghouls and humans in the world. Then things become a bit more interesting

Warnings: Murder mentions, very light angst

Word Count: 1,431

Next (AO3 Link)

Logan had never been particularly interested in the whole magical “soulmate” thing. He was far too busy ensuring his success later on in life and staying under the police’s radar as he went for his typical hunts in the alleyways of his city. Why would he even have a soulmate in the first place? He was a ghoul, it wasn’t like creatures such as himself even had souls worthy of soulmates.

Which is why he was so surprised when he woke up on his fifteenth birthday to find that both of his hands as well as his right knuckles had turned pitch black overnight. He simply sat there, staring unblinking at the marks for a good few minutes. His older sister then barged into the room, looking over at him with the largest grin on her face.

“So...where’s your mark?” She asked cheekily, adding a quick “Happy birthday, by the way” when he didn’t respond immediately. Logan simply got out of bed and held up his hands, turning them over for her to see. She hummed, seeming to be confused for a moment about why there were more than one. Logan turned around to grab some clothes out of his drawer, then heard a loud gasp.

“You have another on your neck!” She pulled out her phone and took a picture, showing it to Logan, the black mark clear on the nape of his neck. “I guess this means you get three, maybe four soulmates huh? That’s so weird and cool!”

“It’s not that uncommon. This is strange, though.” Despite all his previous thoughts on soulmates, Logan couldn’t help the small bubble of excitement and curiosity welling up in his stomach. He wasn’t even expecting one soulmate, and now he had four? It was quite peculiar.

Patton hummed to himself as he skipped down the hall to wait for his dad to finish up work in the principal’s office, before they could head home. Finding out he had soulmates was definitely the most exhilarating and most relieving moment of his life. Not just one, but four? Imagine how comfy cuddling would be! He looked down at his hands, excited to see the three marks still there, and trying to figure out what would happen when he meets the people those marks belonged to.

His right hand was pitch black in a way that showed that he’d be shaking one of his soulmate’s hands, so that was obvious. His left thumbprint was black, as well as his pointer and middle fingers, which he was having much more difficulty figuring out. But then there was his fourth soulmark.

He and his dad got home. Patton threw off his shoes and looked at the bottom of his foot. It was still there, and it was driving Patton insane with confusion. Why on earth was the entire bottom of his foot black? It didn’t make any sense; what, was he gonna step on his soulmate? The rest of his marks were in such normal places, and then there was this.

It was really strange, but Patton liked its placement anyway. Hopefully he’ll be a guy that’ll sweep me off my feet. Patton giggled to himself. Who that special guy was would have to wait, though.

It was another year until Patton and Logan met. Logan had to transfer to a new school; his sister had killed a...less than ideal target, and they had to leave the area while suspicion was off of the two siblings.

Logan walked into his biology class, taking a seat near the front. Class began, the teacher introduced him to everyone, then announced a group project. Logan groaned internally; he was not in the mood to deal with the imbeciles around him.

Two people groups, where we could pick our partners. As expected, everyone got with their friends and ignored Logan. By the time Patton came over, almost everyone had a partner.

“Hey, wanna be partners?” Logan looked over this teen for a moment. Blond hair, blue eyes, pale skin, round glasses, wearing pastel colors, but otherwise not really too out of the ordinary. Logan hummed. “I don’t see why not.” Patton clapped excitedly, holding out a hand.

“Great! I’m Patton, it’s good to meet you.” Logan took his hand, and a tingling sensation went through his arm and up his spine, almost like an electric shock, but not quite. The two pulled away quickly, staring at their hands. Patton then began jumping up and down, squeaking nonsense as he showed his now clear hand off. He then jumped into Logan’s arms and embraced him tightly, continuing to squeak excitedly.

Logan was happy that he had found one of his soulmates, he couldn’t deny that. But he couldn’t help but feel the dread set in as he looked Patton over a second time. Looking at him with this new context made him all the more normal. “A normal human is my soulmate” Logan thought in horror. Not a fellow ghoul, a human. What if he was the only monster out of all of them?

While they worked on their project, Logan couldn’t help but sneak glances at Patton and, when he wasn’t looking, he’d sniff the air, hoping every time that Patton was in fact a ghoul as well. By the end of the period, he had confirmed two things. One: Patton wasn’t a ghoul. Two: he sure as hell wasn’t human. Which was a strange thing for Logan to wrap his head around.

That’s why after only two days of being aware of Patton’s existence, Logan asked him for his number and if Patton could come over to his place. Patton, to his credit, didn’t really seem to bat an eye at this, simply handing over his number and telling Logan he’d meet him after school.

They had walked silently over to Logan’s house, Patton seeming to have realised what was going on. He was holding a pink and blue parasol over his head, fidgeting with it a bit as they walked. Logan didn’t question it, though he did find it strange how Patton seemed to hide under it like his life depended on it. The sun was nice and warm today, too.

The moment the two stepped inside, Logan closed and locked the door. “I’ll show you mine so long as you show me yours.” Patton blinked at him, his face blank as he tried to process that.

“...Come again?”

“I am assuming that you’re hiding your true appearance in order to attend a human school. Is that not correct?” Patton’s shoulders seemed to slump in relief. He closed his parasol with a smile, saying, “I knew you weren’t human! You don’t really smell like one, but you don’t smell like anything familiar so I got a bit confused.”

“As did I. I was under the assumption that only humans and ghouls existed. I was not aware of whether any others did.” Patton closed his eyes, shaking his head a bit before opening his eyes again to reveal bright, almost glowing red eyes.

“I thought only vampires and humans existed! You’re a ghoul? That’s so cool!” Logan chuckled at his enthusiasm, dropping his own disguise.

“It is somewhat cool, I suppose. I am rather interested in your species however. What parts of the stories are true and which are merely myths, for example.” The two went to sit on Logan’s bed, trading information about each other’s species, until eventually they were just talking as if they had known each other for years.

“Patton,” Logan spoke up as they stared up at the ceiling, “do you believe there may be other species we are unaware of?” Patton shrugged.

“Who knows? I hope we’ll get to meet some. Hey, do you think selkies are real?”

“The seals that take human form on land?” Patton nodded excitedly. “I’ve always wanted to meet a selkie!”

Logan was fully ready to say that selkies likely weren’t real, but then he paused. If vampires were real, who was to say that other creatures weren’t? They had been blissfully unaware of each other’s worlds, so who was to say that there weren’t other worlds they were unaware of?

Logan pulled Patton a bit closer to him. “There’s no evidence thus far proving that selkies or any other beings aren’t real. I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see.”

A few hundred miles away, their three other soulmates—two separated by a few more miles from the third—went through life, not knowing just how close they all were to each other, fully prepared to meet.

[witchychanel]

Reborn

Reborn

chapter one: The Mistake

Word Count: 1,4k

Characters: Reader x Grant , briefly (Adam, Cassie, Phoebe, Melissa, Zane, Indiana x Luke)

Warnings: Angst, Language and Character Death ⚠ Trigger Warning ⚠ Physical and Verbal assault and Sexual Assault ⚠

This chapter takes place at the end of The Secret Circle, which is a TV show, you can watch it on CW seed.

I changed a few things, Phoebe Tonkin's character in the TSC is now named Phoebe Sertori, and Will in H20:JAD I'm using the actors really name Luke along with Indiana Evans aka Bella in the show is now Indiana Hartley

Set in 2010 between April-June

Italics: text messages

••• *TSC Spoilers but you kinda have to read*

Cassie is not going to be your sister, she is now your cousin.

This Starts off when you walk into the abandoned house and see John, Cassie’s dad trying to kill her right after you find out your uncle Charles killed Cassie's Mom •••

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"He killed Cassie's mom" you said to yourself over and over again, here you are in your prom dress,on the day that was supposed to be special has you in tears and in shock and as tears filled your eyes as you ran out of the house. You thanked God that Bo was at her friend's house. That she wasn't here to learn what her father has done. That she didn't have to witness her father going insane thinking the ghost of Amelia was there trying to kill him.

You wish you never found your mom's book of shadows, you wish you never even found out that you're a witch to begin with. 

As you are walking down the street you're eyes foggy with tears, a car pulls up behind you. You don't pay any attention to it until you hear your name being called and it's Grant.

He comes up and asks you if your alright and you break down in his arms

You wake up hours later in Grant's car he says that your phone has been ringing for hours. You have 20 missed calls from the circle, most of them are from Cassie.. 

Cassie: Where are you??

Cassie: John lied to us!!

Cassie: He's trying to take our powers!! 

You ask Grant to drop you off at the Boat House where your car is located.

You drive as fast as you can towards the woods, when you get there you park the car and start running into woods, towards the abandoned house.

You hear struggling coming from inside and see John using the power of the crystal skull to kill Cassie. 

You grabbed something heavy and hit him over the head. He dropped the skull Cassie grabbed the skull and pointed it at him, you put your hands on her's and helped her. Once he was dead you grabbed a witch cruet to finish him off proper. So that his magic won't linger. 

You guys dug a hole and put his body in. Then you both went your separate ways.

The Next Morning 

You call Grant to tell him that you want to leave with him. What you didn't know leaving with him was going to be a huge mistake..

You put your bags in his car and drive to Cassie's house where the rest of the circle are currently at. You tell them all that you are leaving town with Grant.

 "Y/N, please we need you" Cassie says "Are you sure that's a good idea?" Adam asked "It's better than being here, I'm just tired of everything" you responded 

"Just take care, okay" Melissa says. You nod and give your goodbyes to everyone. 

Once you get into his car you notice a symbol pop up on your hand, you have no idea what to make of it and so you brush it off and leave Chance Harbor with Grant.

Few Weeks Later 

You feel bad, you haven't told Grant what you are. "How the fuck should I tell him what I am and who I am" you think to yourself. As you stare into the massive ocean. You are pulled out of your thoughts when you feel a hand on your back. “My father… he’s dead” is all he says before he drives the boat back to its spot.

 You glance at Grant, he's been silent ever since he got the phone call. He talks about his mom almost all the time but he told you that he had a bad relationship with his dad. 

••••••••• Two Weeks Later ••••••••••

Grant has been coming home late from work, you hated it but at the same time you didn't mind because you were able to teleport to L.A. to tape Victorious and to school. You told Grant that you got a job at Rikki's. You were already friends with so many of them because well you’re a mermaid. 

As you pull your car into the driveway coming home from Vasilisa’s house, you notice Grant's car parked in the driveway. 

You walk in through the front door and Grant is sitting on a chair with a bottle of whiskey. "Where the hell have you been" he asked "working" you replied "liar" is all he said "excuse me?" you asked "you heard me" he got up and walked straight towards you.  

"Where the fuck have you been" he said with nothing but rage.

 "I bet you were fucking Zane" you looked at him speechless and in shock. "Or I bet you we're fucking Luke" he said as he slapping you so hard you fell.

 "No I wasn't I swear" you said as your eyes spilled tears.

 "Get Out" Grant said,

 "what" is all you asked 

"Get out, I don't want a cheater, under my roof, I don't want a slut here" he said as he kicked you in the stomach. You would've fought back of fuck even killed him, but you we're week you haven't drank any blood in months. You ran out of the house and got into your car, and drove to Indiana's house because it was closer. Once you arrived there your wounds were gone, you grabbed the water bottle you had next to you and washed your face. You chuckled to yourself as you thought being a hybrid has its perks. 

'Because if you seen h20 you know, when they touch water they turn into Mermaids'

You walked up to her front door and knocked

"Y/N, are you alright" Indiana asked as she brought you in, more tears spilled out of your eyes "Grant… he kicked me out, he accused me of cheating" you say as you look around and notice she and Luke we're on a date. "You guys seem busy, I'll show myself out" "none since, you are staying here" Luke said as Indi nodded. You smiled and said thank you.

••••••••••• The Next Morning ••••••••••••

Indiana & Luke are having breakfast and they hear a knock at the door. When Luke opens it up they see Grant. "Is Y/N here??" Grant asked "You don't need to answer that" he said as he looks at your car. 

"What are you doing here? " You said feeling numb, "I want to talk and apologize about last night" Grant said. 

You looked at Luke and Indiana and then at the floor and said okay and walked outside.

"Listen Y/N, I'm sorry I hit you and I'm sorry for all the names I called you, I promise you I will never ever do it again" You looked at him and said “promise” and he said yes. 

But of course he lied. He did it again and again but you can never get proof because being a vampire especially two types you heal quickly.

On the last you and him were together he comes home drunk and high and he's all touchy and gabby you say no and push him off and he calls you a "prude". "I'm not a prude, I just don't want my first time to be when you are drunk" you reply. He laughs and says "it's okay, I already had sex with a girl at the bar, all I want is to see your big ass tits" he says as he pushes you on the bed. You're in complete shock you don't even realize he is trying to get your shirt off. 

You snapped back to reality and say "you fucked someone else" pushing him off of you once again "oh honey, the girls at bars are horny, willing to fuck behind dumpster unlike you, I’ve been fucking around for a few days now, all you do is suck my dick when I just want to fuck" he said as he rips your shirt off then the bra and puts your nipple into his mouth. You keep telling him no stop, but he won't give, so you grabbed the lamp and hit him over the head. 

Once he is knocked out you push him off of you and pack all of your clothes. You get into your car and drive away. Not to Indiana's house, or Rikki's or Lissas but to the airport. 

You asked the lady if there are any flights back to the states she responds with yes and gives you connecting flights back to San Diego, California. You get your tickets, and you call Ian and tell him you are going back home, that you will explain everything. You wished that Ian lived in Cali let alone daygo but he lives in Chicago. You call your dad but he doesn't pick up so you leave a message saying you should be there on Wednesday night. 

Once you reach your street, you feel so much happiness being home. You put your earbuds on and walk towards the apparent that your dad, sister and brother live in but then everything goes dark…. 

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Heyyy it’s Athena, this is my first chapter. I promise I’ll get better

[dogmeatthedead]

We need to talk about The Methuselah Device:

Son of Enoch, grandfather of Noah, oldest human to ever live. Methuselah is an important figure in Abrahamic religions, said to have lived to well over 960 years old, Methuselah was the link between Noah (of arc fame) and Adam (of first of humans fame.) After living for so long Methuselah died the same year as the great flood, although he died before it stuck. Methuselah meaning "Death of Sword" is an important biblical figure, as well as impacting pop culture. "Old as Methuselah" is a great way to say that someone is extremely old.

This is a hill I'm willing to die on. The last 15 or so issues of Eric Wallace's 2008 Titans run should be considered Deathstroke's (unofficial) second book series, but that's not a debate for today (mostly because there's no telling me I'm wrong.)

This will contain spoilers for Deathstroke lore as a heads up.

Across the last issues, Deathstroke has one agenda: save Joseph. In "The Methuselah Imperative", Deathstroke and his team of losers (people who have lost a loved one) cross paths with Ryan Choi (killed,) D.J Molecule (kidnapped,) the Justice League (owned,)  and finally themselves in an attempt to save Joe.

As Deathstroke proposes it, The Methuselah Device would allow his group of Titans (Cinder: was promised that she would be able to kill her abusers later offered her dead brothers. Arsenal and Cheshire: promised the rebirth of Lilian. Tattooed Man: promised the resurrection of his son. Osiris: promised the resurrection of his sister) the ability to resurrect their loved ones.

Cinder becomes enraged by Deathstroke's offer to bring back her two brothers and ultimately turns on the team destroying The Methuselah Device along with (we can only assume) herself. The twist being that Slade never had any intention of bring his team's loved ones back. He had been using them to help him bring back his son.

Why Methuselah?

Even among religious groups a reference to Methuselah might go over unnoticed, so why did Slade name his device after the oldest biblical human.

Lazarus of Bethany

Lazarus was resurrected after being dead for four days, and his name has become tied to the idea of resurrection. Joe wasn't dead, he was on death's door, still Lazarus may have been a better example.

Job

If we're looking for biblical figures that could have been a better fit for a device that brings people back from the brink of death, perhaps there's none more fitting than the story of Job. Job was holy man who was blessed with many things. The devil asked God to test Job by taking his family and affecting him with illnesses and misfortune. Job still remained faithful to God and in return for his faith was given more than what he had lost.

I could probably draw a connection between Slade wanting to test Joe's love and wanting his son to love him regardless of what suffering Slade puts him though, but that isn't the time nor the place. My point is that the story of Job would be a better fit as both Joe and Job were healed from the brink of death and given good things after they were healed. (Joe and Roy resurrected the Titans, then New 52 struck so that went nowhere)

Job is about as cool as Judas in terms of names so the device could have been called The Job Apparatus and the arc could have been the Job Gambit.

So why was it named after Methuselah?

In order to understand my line of thinking we have to understand what timeline this is.

New Earth

Okay, for those of you who don't read comics New Earth was the timeline that predated New 52 and Rebirth. Although Rebirth (poorly) tries to bring back aspects of New Earth, it is for the most part its separate thing.

One of the most important aspects of New Earth Deathstroke is that after being resurrected by Cheshire (their history is super deep and worthy of it's own blog) Slade becomes immortal. 

This terrifies him.

Slade fears being left alone. Deathstroke Annual #4 is an elseworld but Slade is driven insane after he keeps outliving his loved ones.

Even though it's likely Jericho controling him, in Deathstroke #51 Slade (or Joe) tries to drag his city into a virtual reality where no one will ever die.

Get this man some therapy

Clearly New Earth Deathstroke has major issues with the people he loves leaving him in death. Here's another tidbit of information: Slade's blood can make people practically immortal.

However the draw back being it also drives them insane. Rose's superpower is precognition not enhanced abilities like her father, she only got those powers after Slade gave her a refined version of the ATCH 24 serum that gave him his powers. Slade clearly had time to fix the fourmula as Rose's skin never fell off (Slade's skin would have fallen off after he got his powers. That's what happens of your DNA comes undone, just a fun fact.) plus this is after the Cheshire incident so Slade is still immortal but is aware that his blood drives you insane. He could have fixed the insanity problem when he gave the serum to Rose thus making her just as immortal as he is.

Hopefully you've figured it out by now

I think that the true goal of the Methuselah Device was to make Joe immortal (or long-lived) like his dad and sister.

That's why he wasn't going to let anyone else use it, and why he didn't care when it was destroyed. Slade just wanted to make his son live forever with him, and he hinted at it by naming it after the person who was practically immortal in the bible.

[the--blackdahlia]

Music to Crash Your Car To (Vince x Reader)

Title: Music to Crash Your Car To

Summary: (Y/n) goes with Vince to get booze for the party.

Warnings: Language, car crash, drunk driving, no happy ending (telling you guys, you might need a tissue for this one.)

“Babe, come on, I need your help getting more booze,” Vince laughed, pulling (Y/n) to her feet.

“I thought Razzle was going with you,” (Y/n) laughed. They both had been drinking for the night, just (Y/n) had mainly stuck to small glasses of wine, and not many at that. Vince seemed to love his beer and whiskey, and every time (Y/n) had looked up at him, he had had a glass in his hand that night.

“He found himself a cute girl. Come on (Y/n), please.” Vince pouted and gave her to biggest eyes he could. She sighed and pushed herself to her feet.

“Okay, okay,” (Y/n) smiled at Vince and kissed him gently.

“Ewwww!” Tommy teased. “You two are so nasty!”

“It’s our house dumbass,” Vince shook his head. The realization hit (Y/n).

“That’s right. Shouldn’t one of us stay here and keep Tommy from blowing up the house?” (Y/n) told Vince. Vince looked around and spied his guitarist laying like a vampire on the couch; arms crossed over his chest and looking like the undead.

“Mick!” Vince called out. Mick opened one eye to look at the singer. “Keep Tommy from blowing shit up!”

“Got it,” Mick grumbled. “Fucking teenagers.” He closed his eyes again and sat up with his arms still crossed over his chest. (Y/n) giggled and leaned against Vince. He wrapped an arm around her waist and led her out to his car.

“You know I love you right,” Vince told her as they made their way to the car. (Y/n) smiled happily. The band's music was insanely popular, their two albums selling out and enjoyed by the masses; the boys were finding love, making money, and having the fun they were denied as kids; and her and Vince were starting to settle down. He had asked her to marry him months before they moved into the house.

And they were expecting their first child. (Y/n) had just found out that morning and Vince had been busy planning the party and getting ready. She hadn’t had time to tell him yet. But she thought maybe the drive would be good.

“I love you too Vince,” She answered softly. He opened her door for her before getting in on his side and peeled out of the driveway, taking the curves at high speeds as they made their way to the liquor store just a few blocks away. Vince ran in while (Y/n) stayed in the car, looking up at the moon. She missed seeing the stars, but she had lived in LA since she was 13 and the only stars they had lived in billion dollar houses in the hills. At the rate Vince was going, she thought they’d be in those houses soon. But she really wanted to move away from LA, to someplace in the country where you could see the stars at night and everything was quiet. She put a hand on her belly and smiled softly.

“I got some good stuff!” Vince called out, holding up his bags to show (Y/n). “Everyone’s gonna love it.”

“It’s free booze. Of course they’ll love it,” (Y/n) laughed. Vince threw the bags into the back and kissed her before heading back towards the house. He decided to take the scenic route back home. It was a wonderful night. It wasn’t too hot or too cold. There was no rain or even cloud cover.

“Hey Vince,” (Y/n) said a bit into the trip. “I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Oh, hey, it’s our song!” Vince said, looking down at the radio to turn it up. (Y/n) smiled and shook her head until she looked up.

“VINCE LOOK OUT!” She screamed. Vince looked up at the headlights coming right at them. He looked up at the road and overcorrected, slamming into another car at high speed. (Y/n) had been wearing a seatbelt, but the impact caused her arm to smack the button and she bounced around the car, an arm thrown over her stomach in an ill attempt to protect everything.

The car came to a rest, Vince’s head resting on the steering wheel and (y/n) slumped forward in her seat. Vince started to come to, hearing the sound of a horn. Who was honking at him? He wasn’t even doing anything. He slowly sat back in his seat and the horn didn’t stop. But dizziness overtook him and he wanted to puke. He managed to turn his head over to where (Y/n) was resting.

“Babe,” Vince said before a cough tore through his lungs. “(Y/n) you okay?” She didn’t answer him. He reached over and took her hand as the sirens started to be heard. “(Y/n) wake up. We’ve got a trip to Mexico coming up. And you were going to tell me something. What were you going to tell me?” She still didn’t answer. “Baby?” A light shone in the car then.

“Son, can you hear me?” A cop said.

“My fiancée isn’t waking up!” Vince cried. “Please help her!”

****

“It shouldn’t take this long to get booze,” Tommy groaned. “And (Y/n) doesn’t like to leave the house unattended with people in it. Said it makes her a bad hostess or something.” There was a lull in the music and the sound of sirens speeding past the house could be heard. Tommy looked over at Mick. Sirens weren’t that uncommon, but when the lead singer and his fiancée had yet to return from a beer run, it made everyone a little nervous.

“I’ll be back,” Tommy told Mick before he got up and headed to the door.

“Where are you going?” Mick asked.

“I just wanna see what’s going on,” Tommy explained as he heard another round of sirens. He quickly left the house and got on his motorcycle, heading towards where he heard the sirens going. Once he came to the scene, he saw tons of flashing lights, and he saw a familiar blonde sitting on the curb with his hands cuffed behind him.

He looked towards the other car and saw a man and woman being helped. He looked to one of the ambulances and he saw (Y/n) laying on it, beat to hell, eyes closed, and someone doing CPR on her. Tommy leaned over and puked into the grass then. He finally got off his bike and headed towards Vince, it finally starting to register that he was handcuffed.

“Vince?” Tommy called out. “What’s going on?” Vince looked up at Tommy, his eyes puffy and red from crying.

“T-Tommy…” Vince whispered. A cop stopped Tommy in his tracks.

“Sorry, you can’t come any closer,” The cop told him.

“That’s my bandmate over there and one of my best friends in the ambulance!” Tommy yelled.

“Sir, you have to calm down or you’ll be joining your bandmate in the back of the police car.” The cop growled. Tommy watched then as Vince was hauled to his feet and thrown into the back of a cop car.

“Can you at least tell me what hospital (Y/n) is going to?” Tommy asked. The cop looked down at his notes.

“Cedar-Sinai,” The cop told him. Tommy nodded and headed back to his bike as the ambulance took off and Vince sat in the back of the cop car, watching helplessly.

****

Tommy walked back into Vince’s house, hearing the party still going on. He made his way to the stereo system that Vince and (Y/n) had set up and killed the music, causing everyone to look at him. Mick sat on the edge of his seat.

“Everybody get the fuck out!” Tommy yelled. “Now! Get the fuck out!” Everyone looked at each other. “Are you fucking stupid? Get out!” Everyone started filling out then, leaving Razzle, Tommy, and Mick the only people in the house.

“Tommy?” Mick asked. “What’s going on?”

“Vince and (Y/n) were in an accident,” Tommy told him, feeling the bile in the back of his throat again. “Vince was being put into a cop car and (Y/n) was being put into an ambulance. I need to get over to Cedar-Sinai. I have to call Nikki. I…” Tommy was starting to breathe heavy. Razzle rubbed his back to help him calm down.

“We’ll go to the hospital and figure this out,” He told him. Mick nodded in agreement. The two drummers and the guitarist piled in Mick’s car, heading towards the hospital where they had taken (Y/n). Mick checked them in at the desk and were sent to a waiting room. Since (Y/n) parents had separated and left California, she had put the band as her contact for the hospital.

“Tommy, sit down,” Mick snapped. Tommy was pacing a rut in the floor, nervous as hell. Razzle was bouncing his leg and Mick was the only one trying to hold it together.

“I can’t,” Tommy told him. “(Y/n)’s been in there forever!”

“T-Bone, please sit down. You’re making my motion sickness come out,” Razzle told him. He was shaking. He had been so close to getting in the car with Vince. If that cute girl hadn’t found him and convinced him to do a line and drink with her, he would’ve been. Instead, (Y/n) was in his place.

“Family of (Y/f/n) (Y/l/n)?” A doctor came out, his scrubs disheveled and he looked upset. Tommy, Razzle, and Mick looked at each other before nodding slowly. “I’m Dr. Goshen. We did everything we could but...I’m afraid that Ms. (Y/l/n) and her baby have passed.”

“B-baby?” Tommy asked.

“Oh my god. She was pregnant?” Razzle asked. The doctor nodded. (Y/n) had found out about her pregnancy at a doctors appointment prior to the accident, and had only told one person, waiting for the right moment to tell Vince that he was going to be a dad.

But it was all gone.

“Shit Tommy!” Mick called out as Tommy’s knees buckled as he went to the floor. He had met (Y/n) through Nikki, who had met her at a gig when he was still with London. In fact, it was the same concert where Tommy had first seen Nikki play, months before he had the courage to talk to him and they started their band. He had always seen (Y/n) like a little sister. They had had a serious talk when her and Vince started dating at the beginning of ‘83, but she loved the blond singer and he completely worshipped her.

“Sir, are you okay?” The doctor asked. Tommy stared ahead. The last time he had seen (Y/n), she was laying on a gurney in an ambulance and looked like she had been dragged through the worst shit imaginable. She wasn’t even smiling, or anything like that. Hell, she might have been dead when he saw her. He motioned for a trash can as he started to puke again.

“God, does Vince know yet?” Mick asked, but nobody answered.

****

“Let me out!” Vince called from his jail cell. “Where’s (Y/n)? I have to go see her!”

“Sit down and shut up,” A deputy hissed at him.

“No! (Y/n) was in the car with me! They took her to the hospital! She’s my fiancée and I have to make sure she’s okay!” Vince yelled. The deputy looked at the fax he had just gotten. He looked up at Vince and glared.

“Your fiancée and her unborn child are dead,” The deputy told him. “Because of your actions.” Vince froze. (Y/n) was pregnant. (Y/n) was dead. The baby was dead. Vince sat down on the bench in the cell and stared at the wall.

“N-no,” He whispered before the tears started up again. “NO!” He held his head in his hands. (Y/n), the love of his life, was gone. Because of him.

What had he done?

****

Nikki awoke the next morning and was told that Vince had died. Nikki’s heart clenched in his chest. How was (Y/n) taking it? Was she okay? What about the band? What were they all going to do? Those questions were circling in his mind, especially after (Y/n) had told him she was pregnant, and asked him how she should tell Vince.

Nikki had always been protective of (Y/n). And if he wasn’t always full of Jack, drugs, and self-hate, he would’ve been with her instead of Vince. When the singer had announced that him and (Y/n) had been out on several dates, it took all of Nikki’s strength to not deck him. The way (Y/n)’s eyes lit up when Vince smiled at her helped calm him down, because if (Y/n) was happy, then Nikki could be too.

It was hours later when Mick called, finally reaching out to Nikki.

“You’re a hard prick to track down,” Mick growled.

“Been busy,” Nikki told him, look at the needle and baggie laying on the bedside table of the hotel.

“Well, since you’ve been busy, have you heard the news?” Mick asked.

“Vince is dead. I know.” Nikki sighed. Mick was quiet on the other end for a moment.

“Vince isn’t dead,” Mick told him. “(Y/n) is.”

“W-what?” Nikki asked. “That’s impossible. Everyone said Vince died.”

“No. (Y/n) went with him and the car accident killed her. And Nikki...she was pregnant.” Mick told him.

“I...I’ll have to call you back,” Nikki told him before hanging up, not even hearing the guitarist tell him to wait. Nikki sat there for a minute before he started throwing things, smashing what he could. It wasn’t fair? (Y/n) had her whole life ahead of her. She wanted to help write music. She was about to be a mother. Why had this happened to her?

In the middle of the trashed hotel room, Nikki sat on the floor. He was out of smack for the time being, but he could get more. But he had a notebook in hand, staring at the words of a song he had been working on for her.

A song she would never get to hear.

Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316

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[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: Vacation

Summary: The Ackles and Padaleckis are heading to the beach for a two week long family vacation. The reader invites TJ along and is surprised to learn someone else may have beat her to the punch…

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader (with TJ)

Word Count: 10,300ish (whoops)

Warnings: language, little implied smut

A/N: Takes place approximately 2 years after the end of A Place To Call Home and after the reader has finished college...

“Hey guys,” asked your dad quietly, skirting back from first class squatting down in the aisle, looking at both you and TJ. “How’s it going back here?”

“Arrow stole my window seat and Zeppelin insisted TJ watch Transformers with him so...lovely,” you said, shaking your head at TJ who was sandwiched between Zepp and Shep across the aisle.

“Mom and I and the other guys really appreciate you two watching the little guys on the flights for us,” said Jensen, giving you a smile. “So much so we figure before you two go insane back here, we’d let you know that the villa we’re staying in has a separate cottage. We thought maybe you and TJ would want to maybe take that for-”

“Yup,” you said nodding your head. “This is the best flight ever. We’ll even watch ‘em on the way home, won’t we TJ?”

“Yes. A million times yes,” he said with a fast nod, your dad chuckling.

“Didn’t think you two would mind a little privacy,” he said, giving you a smile and raising an eyebrow at TJ. “Appropriate privacy.”

“Of course,” he said. You shook your head, scratching the back of it when your dad looked back to you. He rolled his eyes and smiled as he stood up.

“Alright, we’ll see you guys in a few hours,” he said. “Have fun sibling sitting.”

“Do we have all of ‘em?” asked Jared, yawning as your parents grabbed the rental cars at the airport. “How many kids are there? I forget.”

“Six small, two large,” said Gen. “So, eight total.”

“We’re graduated from college and we still fall in the kids category?” you asked, waving you to you and TJ.

“I think one of the large children is acting up again,” teased Jared.

“I put Jared and Jensen in the large children category, hun,” said Gen, giving Jared a smirk. “Still debating on TJ at the moment although he’s more mature than those two put together.”

“Come to the dark side, TJ. It’s fun here,” said Jared with a nod, watching you scowl at him.

“Yeah but Jensen…you know...” said TJ.

“Fair point,” said Jared, corralling Odette when she started to wander off. “Everyone under 6’ 5” must stay in a ten foot vicinity at all times at the airport, Ms. Odette.”

“Dad, it’s pretty outside,” she grumbled, waving her arms around. “I wanna play. Please?”

“As soon as Uncle Jensen and Aunt De get the cars, we are going to the resort and we can play,” he said. “Promise.”

“So, right now,” said your dad, handing a set of keys to Jared and one to TJ. “Small kids with your parents, luggage goes with the big kids.”

You saw Tom and JJ look at one another, Jensen rolling his eyes.

“Over twenty is a big kid today, kiddos,” he said.

“But I’m ten and Tom’s eleven,” said JJ. “Double digits.”

“It’s cool if they ride with us,” said TJ. “Really.”

“Alright, alright. Let’s just get there so we can relax for minute,” he said.

“Awesome,” you said, TJ smirking the whole time as you put your luggage into the back of the open top jeep, JJ and Tom practically bouncing out of their seats.

“Alright, buckle up and we will be there in about half an hour,” said TJ.

“You two good back there?” you asked. You got hums and a pair of thumbs up, TJ laughing as he pulled your sunglasses down over your face. “Well let’s get going. I am so driving this next time we go out by the way.”

“Might have to fight me for it,” teased TJ. It didn’t take long to get away from the airport and start to smell the ocean in the air and feel the sun on your skin. It hadn’t been hard for your dad to convince you to take this year’s big vacation to the caribbean after last year’s fiasco. It had been his choice to try camping and after one night of roughing it with three bouts of stomach bugs later, you packed up and checked into a hotel not too far down the road and spent the rest of the two weeks relaxing with a nice room to come back to at the end of the day.

Unfortunately TJ hadn’t been able to get the time off with his internship to come with you but now he was working at the firm under the guy that had ironically designed your parents house, and they were very flexible with time off.

“I’m so glad my parents said yes that you could come this year,” you said, glancing over at him as he drove, his left arm hanging on the edge of doorsill, a warm breeze in the air carrying a pretty scent through it.

“I’m glad they invited me,” he said with a smile.

“They invited you?” you asked. “I invited you.”

“Oh. I remember your dad asking me if I wanted to come like a week before you did. I was away for spring break at my parents and he called me up,” he said. “I figured you were excited and wanted to talk about it in person was all.”

“I talked to them about it after...they invited you...now I’m suspicious,” you said, peering over your shoulder at the SUV behind you your dad was driving.

“I’m sure they just wanted to know for planning rooms and stuff,” he said.

“Or he could like...be planning to murder you in foreign country,” you said.

“Seriously?” said TJ. “Your little sister and like cousin are in the car.”

“We watch lifetime movies when Y/N babysits,” said Tom.

“She’s got a point, TJ. The perfect crime,” said JJ.

“These children are going to be vandals when they grow up thanks to you,” said TJ, shaking his head with a smile. “What else does Y/N have you guys watch?”

“I let ‘em watch Supernatural sometimes,” you said, TJ’s jaw dropping. “So what if the rule was like thirteen? They can watch some stuff. Like bloody mary. Ain’t that right JJ? You loved that one.”

You spun around with a smirk, JJ shaking her head, Tom rolling his eyes.

“Or like hookman,” you said, his head dropping back. You laughed and TJ started to giggle.

“Vandals and traumatizing them. Best big sister ever there,” he teased.

“Dude, that stuff’s in the handbook,” you said, reaching back and ruffling both their heads. “They know I love ‘em. It’s our little secret.”

“What about like...the stuff that’s a little more...grown up?” asked TJ.

“No. No. That’s why you watch the show ahead of me now. I can not have another Jared and Gen season 4 couch incident,” you said, shaking yourself out. “Seeing dad was bad enough but that was full on…”

“What?” asked Tom.

“It’s an episode you’ll never see and for good reason,” you said. “You’ll thank me someday.”

“Hey, you know what? You guys are pretty lucky to have Y/N. I’m an only kid. I would have loved having a big brother or sister around. It can get pretty lonely,” said TJ.

“But now you got us!” said JJ. TJ laughed and agreed with her but you only bit your bottom lip. You didn’t realize you were still smiling when you got to the resort, your dad grinning at you when he saw your face.

“Somebody looks like they’re in love,” he said, Arrow taking off with your mom ahead of him.

“Yeah,” you said, grabbing you bag from the back, helping JJ with hers before you gave her a hug. “Pretty awesome little sis right here.”

He was quick to take a picture of you two, nudging you to hold back once everyone started heading inside.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. We were just talking in the car and TJ was talking about siblings and how the kids are lucky to have them and she made a comment like TJ’s part of our family so he’s got ‘em too. I don’t know. I’m…” you said. “Why’d you invite him on vacation?”

“It was a family vacation,” he said. “He’s part of the family.”

“Really?” you asked, your dad nodding with a smile.

“You’ve been best friends with the guy for four years, you’ve been dating for two and he comes over for dinner like six days a week. I think it’s okay if we call him part of the family at this point,” he said. You smiled, getting one in return. “I assumed you wanted him to come.”

“Oh, I did,” you said. “S’nice that you invited him is all.”

“I know. I’m also not going to murder him because yes, I watched that lifetime movie too,” he said.

“Well good cause then it’d be a whole thing to deal with..” you said, getting a chuckle from him.

“It’s why we act and make beer in this family. Whole lot easier,” he teased, tilting his head at you. “Speaking of making beer, mom says she’s creating a new position at the brewery. Full time, Monday to Friday. Someone to help with the business and design side of things, run social media. It comes with benefits, pretty kick ass salary, very flexible time off…”

“I told mom I’m taking it,” you said. “A big part of my duties will also be designing the farmhouse for the new restaurant and getting that up to code. I get to use that degree for something after all looks like.”

“You’re going to be a boss, not just a beer server anymore. You want that?” he asked. “You’ll be making decisions with all the owners.”

“It’s sort of called The Family Business so it makes sense that family runs it,” you said. “I want this.”

“Oh my...it only took you like five years to get that the plan was for the kids to run it someday,” he said with a laugh. “Whew. We were getting nervous for a minute there.”

“You guys were waiting for me to ask about a job?” you said. He shrugged, giving you a smirk.

“There’s always been a job there for you. Duh. Of course we were waiting for you to ask,” he said.

“You two are partially evil you know,” you said.

“But we’re nice evil, kiddo,” he said, giving you a hug, getting a strange look from a guy walking by. “Come on, let’s go be weird inside.”

“I don’t know if it’s possible for you to not be weird that long. You might actually combust from restraining yourself,” you said, smiling at him.

“I learned it from watching you, tall munchkin,” he said. You rolled your eyes and headed inside, handing over your bags to someone before everyone was being led off to your own private corner of the resort.

You parents and the Padaleckis thanked the people that brought your bags, you and TJ watching the kids take off to explore the villa.

“Guys, guys,” said your mom, Gen whistling before they got too far. “You three boys are sharing a room on the right. You three girls are right next door to them. Tom, JJ, us adults will be upstairs, Pads on the left, Ackles on the right. Any problems, come get any one of us, okay?”

“Where are TJ and Y/N going to sleep?” asked Arrow.

“Backyard,” said your dad. The kids scrunched up their faces, Jared nodding. “I know, sucks for them. But they’ll just be sleeping out there so during the day, those guys are still in charge too. Okay now take off you scoundrels. And no going near the pool or the beach without an adult out there.”

All six pairs of heads nodded before they were gone to their rooms and you were tugging TJ outside. You hummed as you both spotted the short path to the cottage off to the side.

“It looks beautiful,” you said, both of you wide eyed as you entered. There was a small kitchen and sitting room in the front of the house, and a huge bathroom and  bedroom with a perfect oceanfront view in the back, your bags already inside. “Wow.”

You stepped outside onto the small deck out there, looking around and seeing nothing but beach.

“This is so private. Isn’t it gorgeous?” you asked, looking back over your shoulder.

“It is,” he said, a hint of pink on his cheeks.

“Are you blushing TJ?” you teased.

“You should see how beautiful you are,” he said, smirking as he stepped out beside you. “That’s a very pretty sundress for a girl that doesn’t like dresses.”

“It’s the caribbean,” you shrugged, TJ humming as he wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder as you both stared out. “Want to go swimming?”

“Mmm, for sure,” he said, kissing your cheek before he pulled back. You went inside, digging through your bags for your swim gear, TJ with swim trunks in hand when there was a knock at the door. “Come in.”

“Hey,” said your dad, raising an eyebrow when he walked inside to the bedroom. “Wow, this place is nice. Just wanted to let you guys know we were thinking be ready to go for dinner at six? Little formal, not too formal. You probably need a dress shirt or polo TJ, a dress or nice shirt for you, honey.”

“Sounds good. We were going to go for a quick swim,” you said.

“Alright. Be safe. I think that’s the plan for us too. Oh and try not to spend all your time tucked away in here,” he teased, glancing at you and then your open suitcase. You kicked it shut, turning and looking at a picture on the wall when you saw him realize what he’d seen.

“Isn’t that a great picture?” you said. “That’s a great-”

“It’s a box of condoms. Guess what? You’re not the only one to pack some,” he said. You closed your eyes and shook your head, a loud laughing echoing from him. “Well I know where to come if I run out.”

“Sorry, I think...nope I definitely hear mom calling me right now,” you said, grabbing your phone. “I should totally take this and get away from here asap.”

“Oh so you don’t want to hear that you guys can order whatever you want for room service from here? Like we're paying for everything?” he teased.

“...Continue,” you said.

“Don’t blow our retirement fund but you guys want some wine, late night dinner, go for it. You’re both responsible,” he said. “Okay? Have fun on your swim guys.”

“Alright,” you said, your dad pausing on his way out, turning to TJ before he shook his head, biting back his comment.

“I need a beer,” he sighed. “Six sharp for dinner you two.”

“Gotcha,” you said, groaning when he left. “Oh my god. Never answer the door again.”

“I’m okay with that,” he said, peeling off of his short sleeve henley and shorts, shimmying out of his boxer briefs as he started to pull on his swim trunks.

“Remember the first time we were naked in front of each other?” you asked, leaning against the wall as he pulled up the shorts.

“Yes. I remember a whole lot of avoided eye contact and awkwardness and then I actually looked at you and thought, fuck she is smokin’ hot and beautiful? How’d I land this girl?” he said, walking over, peeling the straps off your dress until it slid off your body.

“You were always hot...then you got all muscly,” you said, patting his arm with a smirk as you grabbed your bikini and started to change.

“Well you do have a thing for big arms apparently,” he teased.

“True. I got a thing for sweet boys too,” you said, spinning around and showing your back to him. “Tie me up?”

“Y/N, you scoundrel,” he fake scoffed as you smacked his chest. He tied the strings together across your back and behind your neck, brushing your hair behind your ear when you spun around. “I love you, dork.”

“I love you, dork,” you said, giving him a peck on the nose.

“No nightmares last night?” he asked. You shook your head, TJ smiling wide. “S’been awhile since you had one. Must be a new record.”

“It is,” you said, resting your head on his chest. “Been feeling pretty good since that meltdown at finals week. I feel...safe.”

“I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you,” he said. You giggled and looked up at him. “S’why I got big and strong you know.”

You raised an eyebrow, TJ shrugging.

“Seriously? I thought you were trying to impress my dad or something which you totally don’t have to. He loves you,” you said.

“I like knowing I make you feel safe,” he said. “I like knowing I can keep you safe if I have to and are you blushing Y/N Ackles?”

“Shut up,” you laughed, grabbing his hand. “Come on, let’s go check out that pool.”

“Honey?” asked your mom from her chair by the pool, TJ showing Zepp how to flip into the water along with your dad at the other end. “Did TJ start working out more recently?”

“Your boyfriend’s like hot, Y/N,” said Gen, your mom whacking her arm. “What? He is! I remember him being smaller.”

“He joined crossfit about six months ago,” you said. “I tease him about being a jock now.”

“I guess we’ll have to see if JJ follows in tradition of choosing a man that goes smaller to strong,” joked Gen. “Always sweet though.”

“She probably will,” said your mom. “I think we got a few more years before boys come into the picture. Let ‘em enjoy being kids.”

Gen hummed and stood up with a stretch.

“True. So glad I got a while before Odette’s dealing with that. It’s getting late. We better get ready,” she said.

“Why don’t you wear that white dress with the little bowtie front?” asked your mom as she stood up. “That’s plenty pretty for the restaurant. I think TJ will like it.”

“He likes everything I wear,” you said. “Like everything.”

“They normally do,” she said. “We’ll meet you out front, okay?”

“Okay. We’ll be there.”

You gave TJ a smile at the table, looking him up and down in his white dress shirt and khaki shorts. You were vaguely listening to the conversation your parents were having, the kids seemingly passed out for the most part after the day of travel.

“I don’t think they’re listening to us,” you heard, your head whipping around, TJ’s doing the same. You saw four pairs of smiles as they were standing up. “We’re going to head back to the house guys.”

“Alright,” you said, some of the kids getting treated to rides back on the walk, Arrow walking over to TJ with a smile.

“You want a ride, pipsqueak?” he asked, bending down and scooping her up. “Did you like dinner?”

“Yeah,” she yawned. “You smell good.”

“It’s cologne,” he said.

“Daddy wears that sometimes,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder as you took his other hand and started the walk back. “TJ?”

“Mhm?”

“Can we build a sandcastle tomorrow?” she asked.

“Sure,” he said. She nodded and started to snore after a minute, TJ chuckling quietly.

“It seems you have a way with the Ackles women,” you said.

“Oh yes. You all fall asleep on me,” he said. “It was a long day for a seven year old.”

“Thanks for carrying her,” you said.

“S’no problem.”

“Thanks guys,” said your dad after you dropped off Arrow in her room. “We were going to have a drink by the pool if you want to join us.”

“Sure,” you said when TJ nodded. “I want to put on something warmer first.”

“No rush,” he said.

The second you sat down on the bed to take off your sandals though, you groaned, TJ doing the same.

“Sleep?” you asked.

“Sleep,” he said.

You grabbed your phone and texted your dad, tucking yourself into TJ’s side before he could even respond.

“Morning,” hummed TJ when you stirred awake. You stretched out, sighing into the sheets. “This bed is amazing.”

“I know,” you said, rolling over to catch the clock. “It’s already ten. We should probably get up.”

“Tomorrow we should get breakfast in bed,” he said.

“I like that plan,” you said. “Let’s go grab something from the resort and then we can head down to the beach.”

“Alright, alright,” said your dad, bending over and putting his hands on his knees. “Dad needs a break.”

“What are you, old, Ackles?” teased Jared, kicking around the soccer ball more with you and JJ.

“Yes and I’m not twisting my ankle two days into this thing,” he said with a huff. “Beer break.”

“I’ll take one of those,” you said.

“Beer, beer, lemonade,” said Jared, pointing at JJ, getting a nod. “Hey, Gen, De! What do you guys want for drinks?”

“We’re a delivery service now?” said your dad.

“Can I get a mojito?” asked your mom.

“I’ll have one too!” said Gen, Odette asking for grape juice.

“Let’s go find a waiter,” asked your dad. You headed more towards the resort area and eventually found one, getting everyone’s orders in as they said they’d send them over for you. You and your dad took a break at the resort bar in the air conditioning, glad to be out of the sun for a minute.

“JJ’s getting good at her dribbling, better than me now,” you said.

“I know. I could handle when you were better but the ten year old kicking my ass makes me question the old man comments,” he said.

“You’re barely 46, dad,” you said.

“Hot 46,” said a pair of women that walked past, giving him a wave.

“I think I threw up in my mouth a little,” you said.

“Hey, I’m hot 46,” he said with a smirk, puffing his chest out.

“You’re something alright,” you said, laughing when the fruitiest and brightest pink drink you’d ever seen was sat down in front of your dad.

“Courtesy Mr. Hanover,” said a waiter appearing from nowhere, a double of whiskey set down in front of you. The waiter questioned himself but you took the whiskey, smiling at your dad as the waiter left.

“Careful. I think TJ might like you,” you teased.

“Hey, mine came with a little umbrella,” he said, plucking it out and sticking it in your hair. “You guys crashed before us last night.”

“We were tired. Mom mentioned bonfire tonight?” you asked.

“Mhm,” he hummed, sucking on the straw until you saw half of it gone in ten seconds. You grabbed it away and asked for some water for him. “Hey, I’m thirsty.”

“What are you? Freshman on her first spring break? That thing has so much alcohol in it,” you said.

“Tastes like kool aid to me,” he said, taking a sip of the water, reaching for his drink again when you pulled it away.

“Do I have to have the talk with you?” you asked. “Pace yourself?”

“To use your words from that conversation, I won’t let the boys take advantage of me,” he deadpanned, cocking his head as wiped the sweat off your face. “So how’s Mr. TJ enjoying himself?”

“He’s good. I think he’s a little awestruck. He forgets we…” you shrugged.

“Have money? Well that’s because we don’t give you guys everything you want,” he said. “And you hate shopping thank god.”

“You gave me what I wanted,” you said, taking a sip of the pink drink, catching the soft smile on his face.

“We could live in a cardboard box and you’d be happy kiddo. You got different wants than most well off twenty somethings,” he said.

“I know,” you said, swinging your feet off the end of the bar stool, one of your flip flops falling off.

“Proud of you,” he said with a smile.

“What’d I do?”

“Just proud of you is all,” he said with a shrug. “You’re getting all grown up.”

“Yeah. Still feel like JJ’s older than me sometimes,” you said, his head cocking. “She doesn’t hesitate. She goes for stuff and I still overthink things so much.”

“Well...first off she’s ten so her problems consist of who sat next to who at lunch and the fact she can’t braid her hair,” he said. “You had slightly different priorities at ten. You missed that phase.”

“I can’t even braid my own hair good,” you mumbled.

“Y/N,” he grumbled.

“I know,” you said.

“Honey. Why do you think we go on big family vacations? We want you to get to have those chances to be a kid. We’re all just big kids. Case and point, you know what we get up to when the little kids aren’t around and someday they’ll get in on the secret too,” he said.

“Just feels funny sometimes,” you said. “I feel like a fake grown up, you know?”

“Yup. One hundred percent yup,” he said, taking his pink drink back. “Fake it til you make it.”

“Okay, I think we get you back to the beach before I have to divulge this new beverage of choice information to Uncle Jared,” you said.

“I will disown you,” he said

“No you won’t,” you said with a smirk, grabbing the drink and chugging the rest of it down.

“Got me there,” he said. “This time, you’re on my team.”

“Hey, Y/N?” asked JJ while you walked up to the house from the fire you were having on the beach that night.

“Mhm,” you hummed, holding open the door for her before she took off to the bathroom. You headed to the kitchen and started to grab some snacks and drinks to bring back down. You were nearly packed up when she came back.

“Can I ask a question about being brave?” she asked. You spun around, giving her a smile.

“Being brave? Isn’t that more dad’s department?” you teased. “Yeah, shoot. Everything okay?”

“Um...well...I didn’t want to come up to the house by myself,” she said. You tilted your head as you headed out the backdoor, JJ a little close as you walked across the deck area. “I don’t like the dark.”

“I don’t like the dark either,” you said. “But I do like nighttime.”

“Isn’t that kind of funny?” she asked.

“A little,” you said, slowing your walk back, stopping when you were halfway between the house and the beach, taking a seat on the step. She sat next to you, lifting her head up when you looked up. “S’quiet at night. Peaceful.”

“Stars are pretty,” she said.

“Yeah, they are,” you said, buming her shoulder. “You know, it’s okay to be scared of the dark, especially places you don’t know. This place is safe though. You don’t have to be scared here.”

“I know. I keep waiting to get older so I’m not scared of stuff, like how mom and dad let you do stuff by yourself and you don’t have to ask permission to sleepover TJ’s,” she said.

“I’m a lot older, JJ,” you said. “It’s part of growing up...and part of that is learning you don’t ever stop being completely scared of stuff. You learn more though so it doesn’t seem so bad.”

“Yeah but how are you brave?” she asked.

“Only time you can be brave is when you’re afraid,” you said. “It’s like how dad used to be afraid of public speaking.”

“No he didn’t,” she scoffed.

“Yeah, he did. But he did it, even though he was scared, and now he has so much fun at conventions. Sometimes it’s just something that takes time, like not being afraid of the dark,” you said, looking around. “Like how it’s pretty dark right now but you don’t seem scared.”

“I guess...I’m not,” she said, looking around, giving you a smile when she turned back.

“See? Nighttime ain’t so bad,” you said.

“Yeah, it’s pretty,” she said with a nod, staring at you, that same look she’d been giving you more and more lately.

“JJ, if you want to ask a question, go ahead,” you said softly.

“If something ever happened to mom and dad...would me and Ro and Zepp go to a foster home like you did?” she asked. You smiled and shook your head, glancing down at the beach.

“No. No. Mom and dad...they have it all squared away so grandma and grandpa would take care of you guys and I would be a guardian along with them,” you said.

“A guardian?” she asked.

“Yeah. It means I’m an adult, not your parent, but I’ll take care of you like a parent would. Before I was adopted, mom and dad were like guardians for me,” you said. “You’d stay at home, same school, all that.”

“You’d take care of us?” she asked.

“I’m your big sister. I’d do anything for you guys,” you said, giving her a hug.

“Why’d your mom and dad not do that for you so you didn’t have to go to foster care?” she asked.

“I didn’t have much for blood relatives. My parents were only kids and my other grandparents were all gone before I was born. But they had a plan, some of their friends said sure if something ever happened to them they would take care of me,” you said.

“They lied?”

“No, I don’t think they lied,” you said, leaning back against the step behind you, propping your elbows up. “They just...weren’t prepared to take care of a kid.”

“So you went to a foster home?” she asked.

“After I got out of the hospital, yeah,” you said with a nod.

“Was it scary?” she asked quietly. “The car crash?”

“I don’t really remember a lot from that night. I hit my head in the accident so stuff is fuzzy. But I remember glimpses from inside the car and yeah, it was scary. It was really scary,” you said.

“Who took care of you?” she asked.

“There was this police officer. Dougie. He was probably Uncle Jared’s age. Big strong guy but super friendly. I crawled out of the car around the time he got there. It was pitch black and raining and I was crying and everything hurt...and he just picked me up, sat me down in the backseat of his car with him and he was just quiet. He put a blanket around me and sat there and held my hand and he never left my side until we got to the hospital and the doctor’s had to look at me. He even came to visit me the next day,” you said. “Other people were there and stitched me up but Dougie took care of me that night. I can remember Dougie.”

“What happened when you got better?” she asked.

“Well I met with some people when I was in the hospital, including Cole,” you said. “They went over some stuff with me. Cole went out of his way to help with all my parents stuff and arrangements and all that. A week after the accident, he took me to my first foster home. There were about eight other kids there,” you said. “I had to share a room with three other girls. All I wanted to do was cry so that’s what I did.”

“But then you got happier?”

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “I didn’t get happier until I came to our house. I didn’t want to admit it but that first day, I knew mom and dad were different and they were good, all you guys were.”

“I remember when I got in trouble that time, when I told you to go away around Christmas?” she said. “Dad said you had mean mom and dads before.”

“You know he wasn’t talking about no hugs and kisses, now, huh,” you said. She nodded, looking over at you. “Someday I’ll tell you more but you’re too young right now for that.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” she said. “Promise.”

“No, kiddo. I get that. I want you to-”

“Mom and dad are good so I’m not afraid,” she said, blinking at you a few times. “Just a little. Please?”

“...I used to be very afraid of touch, from guys, like dad. My first birthday party, when I’d been here a week, he held my hand to try and walk with me to the kitchen and I ripped right out of it because I was afraid...because that’s what I learned in foster care. Not all of them were like that and I do not want you to have the wrong impression. It helps a lot of kids. It helped me with finding mom and dad. But some places are bad and someday you can learn why I ended up in those ones but-”

“If you were in bad ones, why’d you come to us?” she asked.

“Because Cole helped me and when they tried to make me leave, stuff happened and I got to stay home,” you said.

“You were afraid of dad?”

“That was a long, long time ago,” you said, smiling as you heard a whistle from the beach. “But he was slow and gentle when I’d forgotten that’s how you’re supposed to be treated. We have really amazing parents, JJ. Even you helped me way back then.”

“Me? What’d I do?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. Just know I love you, squirt,” you said, giving the top of her head a kiss. “You want a piggyback ride?”

She hopped on your back and you nearly stumbled forward, picking up the basket and carrying it down to the beach with a grunt.

“I forgot how heavy she is now,” you breathed out when she climbed off and took a seat. You handed out the drinks, your mom grabbing you when you walked past.

“Everything okay?” she whispered.

“Mhm. Just a little bonding time,” you said. “We’re all good.”

“Never have I ever?” asked Jared, your mom shaking her head. “Oh, they know you guys get up to stuff. We all heard about the couch make out session. Oh, I got it...first time you snuck out and got caught.”

You’d heard both your parents stories before as they told them, Gen patting herself on the shoulder for technically only getting caught by the family dog.

“What about the youngin’s? TJ?” asked Jared.

“Oh come on. It’s TJ. He probably never even snuck out,” said your dad.

“Junior year of high school. Went to the end of year party. Asked out Hallie Knicks. I got completely rejected but I did manage to get drunk and walk home straight through the front door. My parents thought I was playing a prank on ‘em,” said TJ.

“Wait you snuck out, came home drunk, admitted it yourself and got off scot free?” asked Jared.

“Yup,” said TJ.

“Shit. I want your parents,” said Jared. TJ chuckled, everyone turning to you, your parents wearing big smirks. “Out with it, kiddo. When’d you ditch these dorks?”

“No, the game is first time you snuck out and got caught,” said your dad, raising an eyebrow. “Which we never did…”

“I never snuck out at their house,” you said with a shrug. “First time I was ten.”

“Ten? Whoa, don’t be telling JJ that,” said your dad.

“What’d you do? Go to a friends house?” asked Jared.

“Tried to runaway. Didn’t get far. Cop brought me back twenty minutes later,” you said, digging your feet into the sand, letting it fall through your toes. “Not a good night.”

You glanced up, the conversation dying out, your dad squeezing his beer bottle as he narrowed his eyes at the fire.

“Hey mom? How’d you fall in love with dad?” you asked.

“Jensen stole her from the mental ward,” teased Jared.

“At least mine’s not a demon,” he said.

“Demons have more fun,” said Gen.

“Yeah, yeah,” said your dad, your mom rolling he eyes with a smile. “So dad and I got a job on the same movie…”

“Wha?” you mumbled, lifting your head off TJ’s shoulder.

“Come here,” he said quietly, lifting you out of the beach chair, your arms going around the back of his neck. The fire was still going, your dad and Jared sitting there, laughing about something. “Let’s put you to bed.”

“Night, Jared,” you mumbled.

“Night, Y/N.”

“Night, dad,” you breathed into TJ’s neck, half asleep already. “Breakfast.”

“I remember. Breakfast in bed tomorrow,” said TJ. “Let’s get you put away, sweetie.”

He carried you all the way back to the cottage, helping you wash off the sand from your feet before he plucked off your clothes, threw one of his tees on you and threw the covers over you.

“You’re not coming to bed?” you said when he headed back for the door.

“In a little while. I was going to stay up a little more if that’s okay,” he said.

“Mhm. Love you.”

“Love you too, Y/N.”

The next two weeks flew by and you were seriously considering begging that you come back the next year.

“Sucks that we have to fly home tomorrow,” you said, moving slowly to some sweet music after dinner, TJ a far better dancer than he gave himself credit for.

“Yeah,” he said. “This has been nice. More than nice.”

“Want to cross something off the bucket list tonight?” you asked.

“Last time you said that, I was swimming in the ocean butt naked in the middle of the night when a piece of seaweed about gave me a heart attack,” he teased.

“Ah but we have the memory of you squealing like a little girl forever now,” you said, biting your bottom lip to hide your smile.

“What do you got in mind troublemaker?”

“Firewalking? Are you insane?” asked TJ.

“You’ve met my family so it’s quite possible,” you said, pulling him over with you. “It’ll be fun.”

“You are insane, woman,” he said, waving you to go first. You stepped up and put down your foot, feeling the heat but you walked across normally and hopped off into the sand, TJ blinking slowly at you.

“Your turn babe,” you said with a wink.

“Okay, okay, okay,” said TJ, walking a little faster, a bit more of a wince on his face but he made it through, a big huff of air escaping him. “The things you do for love.”

“Loser.”

“Loser,” he said, throwing his arm over your shoulders. “I had a dance to finish with you if I recall correctly.”

“Mind if I cut in?” you heard from behind you an hour later, TJ smiling as he stepped away and headed for your mom across the way. “Having fun tonight?”

“Yes, dad,” you said, moving a bit slower with him. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“I haven’t had a nightmare in over two months,” you said, a big smile on his face. “Well...one of those ones. I keep having this weird cat one though...”

“We’ll take it,” he said, spinning you around. “I’m glad to hear it. You seem happy lately.”

“After that epic meltdown I had finals week a few months ago, I tried to think about what you said and...I’m happy. Maybe not everyday and I know I’m just in this nice sweet spot right now but I’m not so scared of the rest of my life I guess. I got a pretty good one, you know?” you said.

“Yeah. Nice to hear you say it though,” he said as he moved around. “Mom’s already making plans to come back.”

“Oh we are so coming back,” you said.

“Figured you wouldn’t have a problem with that,” he said, looking across the way. “Think TJ will want to come with?”

“Yeah,” you said. “He seems less nervous around you. You guys talk or something?”

“Just guy stuff,” he said. He looked up at the dark sky above you, humming to himself. “I told mom I’m taking the rest of the year off.”

“Really? You’ve been busy since the show ended,” you said.

“I did 15 seasons of the show and then been busy with movies...I think I deserve a little time off,” he said with a smile. “Maybe mom and I’ll take a little time just for us if you wouldn’t mind watching the kids for a little while?”

“Never,” you said.

“Thanks, kiddo,” he said, kissing the top of your head before he broke off. “Go dance with your boyfriend. This is one of those moments you remember when you’re my age.”

“You’re not old dad,” you said.

“Yes! She finally said it!” he said with a fist pump.

“TJ? There’s a senile old man over here I need to get away from,” you said.

“I’ll take him,” said your mom, skirting over to your dad.

“Of course you will,” you said, grabbing TJ’s hand. “Want to head back to the cottage?’

“Yes please.”

“Alright,” said your dad, plopping down on the couch back in Austin the next night. “Kids are finally down.”

“TJ, where’s your sweatshirt?” you asked, rubbing your arms in the ice cold house. “Someone left the AC on.”

“I left it on the couch,” he said, munching on some pizza from the kitchen. The flight home had been long and it was late, everyone in bed and you were secretly just waiting for TJ to get his butt in bed so you could go to sleep too.

You grabbed the sweatshirt and tossed it on, shoving your hands in the pockets to get warm. You felt something odd though and pulled it out, holding up the square object for a few seconds before it clicked what it was.

You spun wide eyed towards the kitchen but TJ was already in front of you, snatching it out of your hands.

“Is that…” you said, swallowing as you looked up at him. He smiled and nodded, starting to bend down when you jumped up and threw your arms around him.

“Not even gonna let me ask, huh?” he teased.

“Sorry,” you said, peeling away for a moment as he got down.

“So...I was totally going to do this down there…” he said, glancing at your sweatshirt. “But I forgot my sweatshirt here.”

“You dork,” you said, smiling hard.

“Your dork for as long as you’ll have me. Would you marry me?” he asked.

“Yes,” you said, TJ standing up and opening the box, slipping on the ring. “Did that really just happen?”

“I think so,” he said. You gave him a big kiss, his hands cupping your cheeks before you were laughing too hard and had to pull back. “Hey now, no take backs.”

“No. Never,” you said, grabbing his hands. “Never.”

“Good,” he said, kissing you again. “Love you.”

“Love you,” you said, biting your bottom lip, getting another hug before you realized your dad was poking his head around the stairs to the TV room, whipping it back around when he saw you. “You can stop hiding dad.”

“Just giving you two your moment,” he said, giving you a smile when he came back in. He smiled and nodded at you both, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll uh...well I’ll see you two in the morning, hm?”

He hummed as he walked past, his smile turning to a smirk as he glanced around the corner back at you.

“He knew, didn’t he,” you said, looking to TJ.

“I asked,” said TJ. “He’s known about two weeks.”

“I’m going to guess it was a yes?” you asked.

“Well-” started TJ, your dad shaking his head. “Just guy stuff really.”

“Yup. Night, kids. We’ll go out to breakfast or something,” said your dad, looking you up and down and then at TJ. “I think you’re in good hands now.”

“Yeah. I am,” you said, grinning back at TJ. “Night dad.”

“Night kiddo.”

Jensen’s POV

“The kids finally going to bed?” asked De when I walked in our room. I hummed and sat on the edge of the mattress, crawling under the covers and hitting off the light. She rolled over and pulled my arm around her shoulders, nuzzling into my right side. She was warm and soft and there was still that little flutter there. “Jensen?”

“Yeah. Everyone’s heading to bed,” I said, giving her a light squeeze. “I love you.”

“I love you, hun,” she said, nestling her head on the pillow, taking a few deep breaths. “He finally did it, didn’t he. You got that look.”

“Yup. We got a son-in-law on the way,” I said, smiling at her.

“What was her reaction? You see it?” she asked.

“I think some of that weight she carries just went away for good. Not all of it but...she was happy. She’s happy,” I said, closing my eyes. “She’s happy.”

“You can cry, Jens,” she said gently.

“I’m happy too,” I said.

“Not every day your oldest girl gets engaged,” she said. “To one of the arguably sweetest men on Earth.”

“He’ll take care of her,” I said. “He already takes care of her.”

“We did good. You did good,” she said. “Set an example of what she deserves.”

“I guess we did, huh? Not too bad for two people who had no idea what they were doing,” I said.

“Eh, we figured it out eventually,” she said. “Let’s sleep. I have to wake up early and make some celebration cupcakes or something now before breakfast burritos.”

“You excited? You got a wedding to plan,” I said.

“Yeah,” she said. “Just wish we got her sooner.”

“You always say that,” I said.

“Still true,” she yawned. “Night. Wake me up if any other life changing developments happen.”

“Eh...maybe,” I teased, earning a playful whack on the chest. “You know I do that on purpose right?”

“Tease me? No. I haven’t figure it out yet,” she deadpanned, leaning up for a moment.

“Night, De,” I said, pecking her lips. She smiled and slid back into bed. Her breath evened out quickly and I started to drift, running over the conversation that’d been playing over and over for weeks now.

“Hey,” I said when TJ came back down to the beach after carrying Y/N to the cottage. “Someone forget a phone?”

“No, wanted to stay and hang out a while longer if that’s cool,” he said. I hummed, Jared looking back and forth between us.

“I’ll uh, give you guys some privacy,” said Jared, patting my shoulder. I almost stopped him but he smirked. “I got some of my own fun to be had.”

“Don’t whine too much for Gen,” I shot back, Jared giving a light punch to my arm as he stood up. TJ stood up and took a seat closer, grabbing another beer and cracking it open, drinking down about half of it before he peeled his eyes away from the fire. “Something wrong?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “No. I’ve been having this conversation in my head for...a year and I still don’t know how to start.”

Oh.

Oh.

He…

“You want to marry her, don’t you?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding and giving me a smile. “Yeah, I do. I really fucking do.”

“Well...get to the asking permission part. Worst that could happen is I say no,” I said. He looked like he forgot how to blink.

“If you say no?” he asked.

“Why don’t you ask and find out?” I said. I knew I sounded like an ass but this was important. I knew he didn’t want to screw it up but-

“I’m not asking permission to marry, Y/N, Jensen,” he said. I raised an eyebrow, leaning forward in my seat.

“Well what are you asking?” I said, tilting my head at him.

“Am I good enough for her?” he asked. I scrunched up my face, closing my eyes before I held up a hand. “Am I? I know she can do better but do you think I’m good enough? She would say yes to me?”

“TJ,” I said, sitting back in my seat, running my hand over my mouth. “You know her. I mean really know her. You have her trust and unconditional love. She doesn’t give those out to just anybody. She doesn’t tell just anyone about everything she’s been through. You’re in a very elite club.”

“I don’t...I am asking you, her dad, on this but am I a good enough man for her?” he asked. “Please. Yes or no. That’s all I want.”

“I don’t think you’re good enough,” I said, his gaze dropping to the sand. “I think you’re better. You’re pretty close to perfect for her, probably the most perfect for her if it exists.”

He lifted his eyes up, a little wide, a little hesitant but he quickly gave a short nod.

“TJ...I know I mess with you sometimes. It’s one of the joys of being a father to girls. But...if you wanted to marry Y/N, I’d be pretty happy with that,” I said.

“Okay,” he said quietly, leaning back in his chair. “Okay.”

“Okay,” I said, taking a sip of my beer. “I guess that just happened.”

He let out a quiet laugh, glancing over almost shy like now.

“What?” I asked.

“You know you set a pretty high standard,” he said. “When it comes to Y/N.”

“Ready to keep it up the rest of her life?” I asked.

“If she let’s me,” he said, sitting back in his chair.

“You’re gonna get the hang of this real easy,” I said with a chuckle.

“Jensen,” he said.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Is it normal to fall in love fast?” he asked.

“How fast?”

“Second week of freshman year,” he said. “She wore this yellow tank top and faded shorts and her hair was in this pretty side braid and she was going on about making a study group for Biology and I just thought, fuck me. I love this girl. What the hell are you doing, TJ?”

“Still feel that way?” I asked.

“Oh yeah,” he said.

“It don’t go away either,” I said. He smiled and nodded, looking up at the stars for a few minutes. “Ask all your burning questions. Secrets safe with me.”

“Why’d you adopt her?” he asked.

“Cause we loved her,” I said.

“Yeah but...I don’t know,” he said.

“A piece of paper doesn’t make someone family,” I said. “I think you know that.”

“Then why?” he asked.

“A couple reasons. It makes things easier legal wise. It helps for medical reasons, if De and I were ever in an accident, if Y/N was, stuff like that. But we knew what it meant to her and to us,” I said.

“What’s it mean to you? I know her side,” he said.

“She told me for her it meant she couldn’t be thrown away. For me, it meant she couldn’t be taken away,” I said.

“I don’t follow,” said TJ.

“Say you had a kid, a daughter. Best day ever, right? She comes home and you spend the next seven months or so watching her grow, loving her, being a dad to her. That’s your baby girl. You’d do anything for her. I know you know what I mean because of Y/N but kids...kids are even more special. So you got this girl you’d give the world for and she loves you even if she can’t quite say it yet. But she does and you know she does. How do you think you would you feel if someone came to your front door and said they were taking away your baby girl and there was nothing you could do to stop it?”

“I’d say that’s my kid and I’m calling the cops,” he said.

“What if a cop was one of the people there to take her?” I said.

“But it’s my kid and I didn’t do anything wrong. Isn’t that kidnapping?” he asked.

“Felt like it. I never felt more helpless in my life than the day we almost lost her. I was pissed. More than pissed. But technically, they could take her and I had no right to make her stay,” I said.

“That was the stuff with the chick at the office,” he said.

“I hope you never have to know what that feels like, TJ. For a split second, it was even worse because for one little second-“

“She thought you asked them to take her back. I know. She feels guilty about thinking that sometimes,” he said. I gave him a long look, shaking my head when he shrugged. “You know how she is.”

“Yeah,” I said.

“So you adopted her so no one could take her away again?” he asked.

“It shouldn’t have been on her to be the smart one and figure out what had been going on. I got lucky she’s smart and the fact she was ready to get some closure on the accident. If she hadn’t saved her own ass, we wouldn’t be talking right now,” I said.

“Maybe it wasn’t. But she’s not a damsel in distress either,” said TJ.

“No. She’s certainly not one of those,” I said with a smirk. “Still though. I’m her dad. It doesn’t matter how old you get. Your parents still want to protect you.”

“I get that. I get the whole adopting so she’s yours thing too. But I just feel like, say Y/N didn’t know that stuff and she did get taken away...I have a feeling you still would have wound up as her dad,” he said.

“I guess I’m not following now,” I said.

“You’re joking, right?” he asked.

“Nope,” I said.

“Alright. Say your kid gets taken away and you can’t do anything about it. Say you wait until that kid turns eighteen and becomes an adult, you know, has more rights about who they want to speak to and hang out with. You’re telling me that you, super dad over here, wouldn’t try to get in touch with her again?”

“I think I would have fought for her to stay. But even if I lost, doesn’t mean I’m not her dad,” I said. “All that matters is what she thinks and she wanted me so she’s got me. Again, I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that. All it did was make things a little easier for me. For her, it eased some worries so she can have it.”

“I know there’s this big packet in her closet in this duffel bag she keeps in there. Only thing in it. You gave that to her on her adoption day. Adopting her means more to you than you’re saying,” he said.

“TJ. I love her to death. She’s my daughter and you’re gonna be my son in law so I know you love her to death too. What are you trying to get at?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Just...I guess I wanted to hear that you adopted her not just for her but for you too,” he said.

“Why is that important to you?” I asked.

“Isn’t the point of having kids because you want them? Isn’t that like the selfish part of it?”

“TJ. If we had wanted another kid, there was a far easier and cheaper way to go about it. Being a foster parent and adopting her? Yeah, that’s one of the most selfish things I’ve ever done. I did it for her but I did it for me and our family too,” I said.

“Good,” he said, taking a drink.

“Oh, well glad I got your permission on it,” I laughed. “I got a question for you, Mr. TJ. You gonna take a year to ask her?”

“Shut up,” he said, biting down a smile. “No. I wanted to ask her while we were here. Packed the ring up in my sweatshirt and had it all ready to go cause I was going to put that in my carry on, not risk losing that. Guess who remembered he left his sweatshirt on the back of the couch at your place when we were on the runway?” he said.

“Wow. I bet you had it all planned out, super romantic down here,” I said.

“Yup,” he said, shaking his head. “So there goes that plan.”

“Word of advice. If she loves you, I mean really loves you, it doesn’t really matter how you do it. Try to put in a little effort you know but this is Y/N we’re talking about,” I said.

“I want it to be special. She deserves that,” he said.

“It will be, no matter how it happens. TJ. Since we’re having a moment and all that, can I ask why you went after a girl like Y/N?” I asked.

“She’s my best friend,” he said.

“I mean once you knew about stuff, why didn’t you ever treat her differently?” I asked.

“Because it didn’t matter, it doesn’t,” he said.

“You’re gonna do just fine,” I said, giving him a smile.

“Fine?”

“She asks stuff like that sometimes. Normally at three in the morning but just to be aware,” I said.

“I know. When she stays over-“

“Don’t need to know,” I said.

“Sometimes we talk or just sit in bed and don’t say anything,” he said.

“Good. PG rated cuddling is awesome,” I said with a nod. “Anything else?”

“No. Just can’t wait to ask her,” said TJ. “You tip her off though and you’re dead to me.”

“Hurt her and they’ll never find your body,” I said with a smile.

“That goes for you too,” you said.

“I can agree to that,” I said as I stood up, giving him a smile. “Grab that cooler for me when you head up.”

“I ought to head to bed actually. I got a date in the morning,” he said.

“Well enjoy it,” I said, patting him on the back when he got up. “Night, kiddo.”

“Jensen?” he asked. I hummed, TJ looking down for a moment. “Thanks. For you know...I’ll be good to her, if she lets me.”

“You already are,” I said, giving you a smile. “Goodnight, TJ.”

“We did good,” I said, closing my eyes, rolling over to face Danneel. “We did real good.”

A/N: Check out The Video & The House timestamp here!

[omgthatsunpossible]

I’m just gonna rant on here real quick because I feel like this is more constructive than arguing with some idiot on Facebook. I keep seeing people talk about how America is the greatest country in the world and how not all cops are bad cops, it’s the fault of the media for making them seem that way.

First of all, in what way, shape, or form is the U.S. the best country in the world? Is it the countless rapes of both men and women where the rapist is never convicted? Is it when you allow people to murder LGBTQ people without persecution? Is it when you lock Latinx kids in cages, separating them from their families, abusing them sexually and physically, and/or sell them off to be “adopted” by the highest bidder? Is it the years of terrorizing Islamic people for the actions of one party? Is it the murder of indegenious people and the continuous lack of care that they receive? Is it by alienating the Asian community from the rest of POCs by creating the myth that is model minority, but ever so quickly turning your backs on them as they are harassed by others in the face of a pandemic? Or is it the literal murder of a people that you brought here by force, forced to build your country for you, and then make suffer at every possible turn for several years after? What is it?

I know that some people feel a certain type of way; they feel like they’re being treated unfairly or that everyone is overreacting or something stupid like that. Let me explain something to you. I am 21 years old. In my lifetime, I have seen my father be stopped and handcuffed because he matched the profile of a 6 foot 165 pound man who had just robbed a store in a grey sweatshirt. My dad is 5’9 and weighs about 290 pounds and was jogging in a park miles away from the crime. As he was apprehended, no one gave him any details and just told him that he matched the description of someone they were looking for. No one listened to him and the only reason they let him go is because one officers had recognized him from playing poker at a local club. I have seen my mom get a ticket from a cop who constantly sits at a particular stop sign in our predominantly white neighborhood. He accused her of not stopping completely which is garbage because first of she did stop completely I was in the car, and the 4 cars ahead of her did not. When she went to court to dispute the ticket, the judge didn’t even give her the time of day and frankly treated and spoke to her like she was the scum of the earth. And as she cried from being treated like garbage, he said that his officer would not have any reason to lie and subsequently dismissed her, again I was there. When all I wanted to do was take my sister out, so she could practice driving in our neighborhood that we have lived in for 15 years. But we can’t even do that comfortably because the white people who were outsid would stare at us and we were both afraid that someone would call the cops on us and accuse us of something ridiculous. A young black man, who I will say was a lot bigger than me, was once at my college apartment door trying to sell me something I clearly did not want, and I was clearly getting very uncomfortable in the situation to the point where I had to ask my white roommate to intervene. He didn’t leave even after she told him to, and he only eventually left after I gave him a little bit of cash and I can honestly say I’ve never been so intimdiated in my life. And even in that situation, where I felt so uncomfortable, one where any other girl might have called the cops, I didn’t. I didn’t because I refuse to be the reason that another black man is murdered at the hands of the police. I would rather jeopardize my own safety rather than rely on the police to protect me. The things I’ve listed aren’t even a small fraction of what my family has been through and these situations aren’t even as bad as things other black people have to go through. If my family were the only ones to ever go through anything like this, then it’s something that we’re doing wrong. But countless black families and people have to deal with these things on a daily basis. We don’t have the luxury of feeling safe around the people who are meant to protect us.

And for the people saying that not all cops are bad, you are absolutely right. Not every cop goes out with the intention of murdering someone. So instead of calling them bad, I like to call them cowards. Literal sheep in wolves’ clothing. Because when you can stand by and watch the murder of innocent people, people your only job is to protect, you are a coward. I get being a cop is scary and a hard job that not many would do, I understand that, but what’s even scarier is fearing for your life consistently just because of the color of your skin. No ones pays me for being black. Being black is not a choice I made.

I’m gonna end my rant now because I’m getting tired and little bit more upset. I’m just so sick of having to defend myself for something so insanely stupid. Why do black people have to defend themselves constantly? In what world does it make sense? It’s just so fucking tiring.