#my creepy and manipulative boss got fired

[strawberryshortcake0413]

Last hope (part 1)

Characters:yandere Leon S Kennedy (older version) x reader

Disclaimer: This fanfic contains dark-themed topics, such as kidnapping, depression, suicidal thoughts, non-consent, unwanted pregnancy,etc

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. MDNI

Warning: yandere Leon Kennedy, kidnapping, non-consent, depressed reader, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome, unwanted pregnancy, emotional & mental abuse, out of character leon etc

@dollywons credits for the divider, thank you :))

The pictures used does not belong to me!!!

Chapters: pt2 pt3 pt4

“Fuck off” you muttered to your Alex. Today was already as hard as it was. You didn't need him giving you unnecessary advice on how to grief a patient.

Who does he think he is?? You thought to yourself. Listening to a bratty egotistical younger resident telling you what to do when your patient dies during surgery? No. At least you will not tolerate his behavior.

Growing up with a careless single mother in poverty may have made you like this. Always numb and cold. That's just what people think of you.

You weren't always this unattending. In the first year of medical school, you were the nicest and the most helpful student there is. Things changed as your career proceeded within the years. You saw how ugly people can be. They took you as weak and something they can use to get what they want.

Not again. Never again

The loud alarm went off in the hospital wing. You quickly got up as your pager rang. In-room 303, there was a little girl. 10 years old, had a diagnosis of cardiomyopathy. When you were working the night shift and doing regular rounding checkups, she talked about her birthday plan to you.

“I want Princess Jasmine to attend my birthday party. Her hair is so long and shiny and pretty and, and she's pretty. She's also so smart. Mommy promised me she would come” the girl suddenly stopped. After a few seconds she opened her mouth again.

“She said she… she will come if I live… will I live? Doctor?”

You thought about the past as the attending announced her time of death. 23:44. 12th of May, 2015.

Two patients. Two patients. In one day.

Hiding from people, you hugged your knees in the corner of an empty hallway as you sobbed. God. People thought you were heartless. What other choice do you have when you have no choice but to leave your toxic mother who had no other motivation in life other than drinking, to build a better future for yourself. What other choice do you have when you were the best student in the school but had no money for college? Would you rather stay with your mom to take care of her all your life, doing everything that drives you insane or follow your dreams?

Unfortunately for you, your dream was not something you imagined. Burden, depression, exhaustion were the main 3 words you could use for this job.

Not to mention the creepy, flirty attendings. Always being underestimated by the men in the field.

After the long hard 24 hours and arguing with your mentor about your recent research about brain cancer, you took a box with your belongings.

Bitch

The old fat man fired you for standing up for yourself. Why would you allow anyone to take ideas from your paper? Especially if they were your teacher.

Fine. I'll find a better job in a better hospital.

After putting on your comfortable black coat and causing your boss to fire you for no actual good reason, you walked to your car with the box in your hand.

“Fuck” you yelled as you struggled to open the car door with the damn box in hand. In the reflection of the car window at midnight you saw a face behind you. Just as you were going to turn away, something was put around your nose and mouth and everything went black.

Leon grinned to himself as he carefully put the young woman in his jeep. Tonight was the new moon. There was almost no light in the parking lot and he was sure the cameras couldn't catch the glimpse of his face.

He observed her for a few weeks. First he got a little headache and decided to go to the hospital, only to find a little angel for himself.

Leon noticed she was quite unique compared to the women he met before. Even though he wouldn't say she's rude, she wasn't exactly nice either. He was sure he could fix her up nicely to become a sweet little wife for him.

His baby just needed some guidance in life. What would he be if he let go of this girl to become a rude old bitch. Instead she could help the community by giving Leon a family he wanted for the last few months too much.

Staring at his sweet pumpkin through the rear view window, he was planning what to do next. For the last week he had already planned what to do. But his bunny was in a worse condition than he thought. Overworked herself, dressed in sad gloomy clothes. He would strip her out of these and put her in comfortable , cotton pajamas.

And feed her. He knows what she eats in a day. Sad cold dark coffee with a tuna sandwich for breakfast. No lunch. Leftover pizza or burger for dinner. Leon will make sure she eats plenty of vegetables and homemade food that will nurture her.

During the night he changed her clothes to what he had bought for her.

“Just perfect” he muttered as the t-shirt he got fit her perfectly. Hugging her waist, making her breast more prominent. He held himself back from touching her cunt as he pulled down her pants, along with her underwear.

He sniffed her and inhaled deeply, taking in the scent. “I’ll show you how much I love you when you wake up honey. Not yet… Leon… gotta wait” he muttered to himself.

He put a little underwear on her and undressed himself. Crawling next to the love of his life, Leon put an alarm at 4am on his phone.

“The drug should be out by then,” Leon thought as he cuddled her.

After a few hours Leon was woken by clicking on the doorknob. His angel had woken up and was trying to open the door. Leon sneakily grabbed his phone and looked at the time. 3am.

The blonde signed and got up, causing his angel to scream and throw a vase on the shelf nearby at him.

“Get away from me, you freak!” you yelled, almost on the verge of crying making Leon's heart beat faster. He hated seeing you in pain.

“It's okay. It's okay, baby. Everything will be alright.” Leon cooed, getting up from the bed to her.

“Step away!” You screamed, throwing the left souvenirs on the shelf to him.

Leon walked in a few short big steps, in hurry and stopping you before you hurt yourself.

“It's okay my baby. Daddys here to take care of you. It's okay. Calm down. Everything will be okay.. no more work, no more ignoring yourself. It's okay..” Leon muttered trying to calm you down. He gripped your arms tightly above your head while kissing your head.

You squirm while sobbing, trying to kick him.

“What did I do to you?? Let me go.” You demanded squirming more, causing Leon to tighten his grip. Leon kept muttering to you his reassuring words while kissing your face all over when you managed to kick him in the crotch.

He let go of you and inhaled deeply, trying not to lash out on his dove on their 1st day as a couple.

“Y/n…. Honey… calm down…” he breathed out.

After a while of trying, Leon gave up. The constant cursing and screaming were giving him an awful headache, same as the ones he gets after missions.

“SHUT UP BITCH” he yelled at you, shaking your arms. Your eyes widened as you shut down, the room was quite apart from your sniffling and leons hard breathing.

“Please… just… let me go…” you sniffed out. You haven't felt this humiliated and weak since you were a little girl. Since your mother used to beat you after not cooking for her. Since you went against her words. Your childhood wasn't something you liked talking about, nor getting pity from strangers. You wanted nothing to do with the alcoholic bitch. When you were near her, you were a prisoner.

Ironic, now I'm a real prisoner

Leon breathed out and stared intensely. Suddenly he grabbed your waist, pulling you towards him before jumping on the bed. You protested, tried to bite his arm, kick him, scream, call for help, every way. Leon almost tore the piece of garments he put on her before.

“What are you doing?? Stop. No. Stop-” you protested, only for him to shut you up with a kiss.

After the first night, Leon felt guilty. Not because he made love to his lover when she was throwing a tantrum. But because of the way he lashed out on her. For the last few days she was avoiding him, sitting in corners, not eating or making any noise. After a while being a gentleman as he is, Leon decided to surprise his bunny.

“Honey. I'm home” Leon smiled, locking the doors securely. He hid a small box behind his back.

You crawled away from him, to the edge of the bed. Leon reached out his hand to pull your hair back.

“My beautiful baby. Did you miss me?” He grinned stupidly. You wanted to cry. But you didn't want to show him your weakness, especially after that night. Leon frowned as you pulled your head back.

“Look what daddy got you sweet girl. I know you overworked yourself so daddy got you vitamins.” He grinned as he showed the box.

You frowned seeing it. The multi vitamins that had fruit flavors.

“Don't you like it? Daddy got you this one specifically because the pharmacist told me a lot of trying women get it” Leon smiled, placing his hand on your thigh.

You snatched the vitamin to see what it has.

Vitamin D, B6, B12, Vitamin C, Vitamin A, B9

What the actual fuck

“Are you insane??” You yelled. Leon's eyebrows raised. You finally said a word to him after the event, but yelling at him? He can't be having his wife yelling at the breadwinner.

“Dove. Watch your mouth” Leon said calmly, but his grip tightened.

“All I ever wanted for you is happiness honey. We will have many children. Look around the bedroom honey. The outside. Can't you see we are more than available to raise children? You're young and beautiful. We can have children. For now, I'm worried you're short on essential vitamins. And I heard it could affect fertility” Soon his eyes narrowed as he understood it was necessary to take another way.

“I know what I did was… wrong… Maybe you would have wanted me to approach it in a traditional way. But I just couldn't wait for you. Plus… you already know you would have rejected my offer. You were too deep in hurting yourself. I'm helping you. I'm helping us. We're building a future. Together”

“You should go to therapy”

Leon narrowed his eyes again. “Sleep well angel. You're not clearly thinking well” he said, kissing the forehead before lying beside you.

During the night you tossed around. What if you could overdose on vitamins and just end this suffering? There was no one to look out for you. You got fired, the only family you have is an alcoholic that you cut contact with, and no real friends. You were alone in this.

[lylathewise]

Episode 4 first thoughts

I love the songs they play in order to cram as much exposition as possible, it's a really great move storytelling wise

Maddie, seriously?!?

Caitlyn could not look less enthused

Ok, so I am seeing Cait wanting ambessa to take the place of her mother

I love how Jinx looks so delighted with Isha, like I've never seen her look more happy

I kinda see a parallel between the scene with Jinx and Isha's beetles and Vi and Jinx making up monsters, except this time Isha won't ever be scared by this

I think Jinx will be a better parent than Silco was, not a high bat but still

She's being so forthcoming with Isha, it's so sweet

"You kind of remind me of her." What if I cried?

The handshake?!?

I'm on your bridge, Goatman, only thing I could think of when I saw him

Oh, they want hextech so bad it makes them look stupid

"Keep their name out of your mouth."😶

"How could I not secure the scientists?" Oof, not a good look

"She hides while you all suffer." Aww man, really poor choice of words

Waterbear grenades

The mirroring of Jinxs eyes over Caitlyns

"Fearless child, you never shy." I think Ambessa is trying to manipulate Caitlyn into seeing her as a mother figure

"Why is peace always the justification for violence?" Man, I just want to sit with that line

Stoking the embers of a dying fire as she talks about what's been lost

Is it just me or did Salo get a little fuckable? No? Just me?

Salo? Meeting singed? Weird

Not her forgetting she didn't have a middle finger 🤣

Man, mentioning both her father figures that she killed in practically the same breath 😬

I fucking knew it! If Jinx had a single true friend, none of this would have happened

I held my breath the entire time she was in Silco's office

That's... a different look than I'm used to seeing from Sevika

Please tell me they won't kill Sevika

Warwick is summoned by Singe's blood being spilled? That's pretty cool

3rd time Sevika has crawled to her boss with her arm fucked up

Singed is creepy as hell, but he do got grandfather vibes which I appreciate

Man, how must Vander feel seeing his old self?

That guard is bored out of his mind

THE FUCKING JINX READ?!?!

That guard can't even see her face and he wants to get freaky? Loser behaviour

Stillwater prison break? Please?

Sorry, Rictus knew that some random guy had blue hair under his hat, but Ambessa can't tell that the really scrawny Enforcer is weird?

Buncha cops are about to die? Oh nooooo

Cool, Ambessa does realize something is off. Still though..

The fear in her eyes, she's never had someone welcome her

The relief in her as she realizes she doesn't have to fear them

The underlying theme of the song Powder sang in the beginning

The hug 😊

Wait, Singed is planning to die in the prison? Neat

Warwick is genuinely terrifying

Isha is giving off some 'Frodo screaming Gandalf' vibes

Wait, Jinx is Gandalf and Warwick is the Balrog. That's really funny

Aww yeah, Vander remembers her designs

And again, the underlying Powder song

I was not expecting him to talk

[kashlyn]

Oh my god, Klarion the Witch Boy is such a fascinating character, okay? So, he comes from this place called Limbo Town, which is like, an underground society that’s super stuck in its ways and all puritanical and magic-based. Like, imagine being trapped in some weird, old-timey cult where everyone does dark magic, and Klarion’s just like “nah, this is lame, I’m outta here.” He totally rebels against the elders and just wants to explore the world, you know? Like, "Let me be free, let me learn more magic!" He craves knowledge, and let’s be real, power too, because who wouldn’t if you grew up being bossed around by creepy old people?

But get this, Klarion is also super chaotic, like he’s that kid who just shows up, causes a mess, and bounces, but also he’s really curious about everything? So it’s not just about power, sometimes he’s just like “hmm, I wonder what happens if I set this on fire.” He doesn’t always mean to be evil, but chaos is his thing. Plus, he’s got this cat familiar, Teekl, and if anything happens to Teekl, he loses it, like, full-on rage mode. So, yeah, he’s got a soft spot there, but also, don't mess with his cat.

And honestly, he's TERRIFIED of being controlled, like, you know how some people are afraid of spiders or clowns? Yeah, Klarion's biggest fear is being under someone else's thumb, whether it’s his elders or some other big magical being. He's all about freedom, and if someone tries to put him in a box, he freaks out.

Okay, now onto Tim Drake, because Klarion bonding with him is SUCH a wild idea but it totally works, right? Like, Tim, especially when he was still just Tim before going full-on Red Robin, was this really desperate kid trying to prove himself, always pushing himself to the edge for Gotham. And Klarion would be like, "Oh, you’re desperate and struggling? Let’s play!" He'd totally tempt Tim with offers of magic to solve his problems. Tim, being the kid that grew up too fast kid he is, would try to resist, but you know he’d be at least a little curious, right? Klarion would definitely find that whole “I must save Gotham at any cost” vibe SO interesting.

And like, Klarion would mess with Tim’s moral code he'd set for himself to keep Bruce in. He'd be like, “Why are you so boring with your rules, let’s bend reality a bit, make things fun.” Tim’s super serious but Klarion would probably flirt and tease him just to see him blush or get flustered. Klarion LOVES getting under people’s skin. And I feel like Tim would secretly be into how free Klarion is, even if he doesn’t admit it right away. Slow burn potential, hell yes!

But then, when Tim becomes Red Robin and gets more confident and chaotic, Klarion would respect him more, you know? Like, Tim’s grown into his own, and Klarion would be like, “Okay, okay, you’re not just some boring hero, you’re smart and I like that.” They could totally team up on some magical mission, and Klarion would still be a handful, but Tim’s patience and persistence would probably earn Klarion’s respect. And Klarion would be like “Oooh, smart and handsome, what a combo.”

NOW let’s talk about Danny Phantom! Klarion and Danny would TOTALLY bond over being outsiders! Like, Danny is half ghost, half human, always stuck between two worlds, and Klarion is kinda like that too, being a magic rebel from Limbo Town. Klarion would be so into the Ghost Zone, like, "Wait, there’s a whole other dimension? I’m in!" He’d probably try to manipulate Danny at first, but then they'd connect because both of them deal with balancing two parts of themselves.

And Klarion would definitely flirt with Danny just to make him all awkward, because you know Danny would be like, "Uh, what do I do with this?" Klarion would LOVE that. But then, as they work together—probably against some crazy powerful ghost—Klarion would start seeing Danny’s sense of justice as like, weirdly attractive? Klarion would be like, "Why are you so GOOD, it’s annoying... but kinda hot."

Romantically, Klarion could really admire how Danny manages all that responsibility. Klarion’s all chaotic and free, and Danny’s like, “I have to save people, I have to protect Amity Park,” and Klarion would be like, “UGH why are you so heroic, stop making me care.” They’d have this whole opposites-attract thing going on, and I could totally see Klarion using magic to protect Danny in a fight, all while being like, “Not that I care, of course.”

Now, if you throw Tim, Danny, and Klarion together? Oh my god, it’d be chaos, but like, the BEST kind. Tim’s the strategist, Danny’s the heart, and Klarion’s the wildcard. They’d definitely have to team up to stop some big supernatural disaster, and Klarion would drive both of them CRAZY, but like, in a fun way. Klarion would flirt with both of them just to get a reaction, and Danny and Tim would probably bicker over who has to babysit him. And let’s be real, Klarion would probably develop feelings for both of them because he’s like, “Tim, you’re so smart and broody, and Danny, you’re so heroic and passionate, UGH, why do I like this?”

If they ever got into a poly relationship, Klarion would be that chaotic partner who’s always teasing them and pushing their buttons, but deep down he’d be super attached. He’d love that Tim grounds him with strategy, and Danny keeps him moral (or tries to), and Klarion would be the one constantly making them break their rules just for fun. But like, they’d all balance each other out so well, because Klarion brings the wildness they need, while they give Klarion some stability he doesn’t even know he craves.

So yeah, Klarion, Tim, and Danny? Absolute chaotic perfection

I'm not saying I'm going with it, but have at me people, tell me more about Klarion.

Anything about his relationship with Tim. How people think he could be with Danny. Give me your thoughts (and any arguments in support of) Danny/Tim/Klarion where Tim and Klarion both decide to peruse Danny (who's ghost king and Tim's magical patron) and end up badly flirting with each other in the process.

[a-pale-azure-moon]

Random TotK Thoughts #5

Sheesh, it's been forever since I made mention of my progress. I'm bumping against the 200 hour mark and I am somehow still not bored. At all. I'm not done with the main story either, though I've found all the Dragon's Tears and done the four regional phenomena. I'm at 143 shrines completed, 83 lightroots found (finally making some progress in mapping the Depths), and 402 Koroks collected (no I am not aiming to find all of those, just what I need to get all the inventory upgrades).

I'll cover my thoughts on the Dragon's Tears in a different post, so this will be primarily about the Gerudo section and what happens when you complete the four regions.

-The Gerudo section started off a bit disappointing with the main obstacle being a sandstorm again, only worse than before. I did get pleasantly startled encountering Gibdos though, given that it's been awhile since their last appearance. Glad that I had a ton of fire fruits on hand!

-I'm relieved that Link no longer has to change clothes to enter Gerudo town, because that got annoying in a hurry when it was still required even after clearing the Divine Beast in BotW. I do miss having the disguise itself though, since he looked very cute in it, plus it was free heat protection even if its defensive stats sucked.

-Seeing the Gerudo hub as a ghost town was great for establishing the creepy atmosphere. And then finding the underground shelter was neat, if a bit predictable. I'm not saying I want the Gerudo to come to harm, but finding out everyone's fine chilling underground does undercut some of the spookiness of the zombie village above.

-Riju got a lot taller. Everyone in this game is taller than Link except for small children (and I think Robbie and Josha?), which is hilarious to me. Her ability is pretty cool, though really none of the other three come close to matching Tulin's utility.

-I really enjoyed the segments where you protect Kara Kara and then Gerudo Town from the Gibdo hoards. They fun and frantic but not in a way that felt overwhelming. I wish there was a way to repeat the town siege to see if choosing different groups to protect different gates made things easier or more challenging.

-I also liked finding and networking the various mirrors in the desert. It felt more in the vein of a classic Zelda puzzle, and then that shot of the Lightning Temple rising out of the sands was appropriately epic. I also liked that you confront the boss outside before she retreats to the temple. That was more interesting than the lame minibosses in the Goron and Zora sections, or hunting down random mooks in the Rito section.

-I'd heard stories that the Lightning Temple was the one most like a classic Zelda dungeon. I can see where people said that, but...eh, it's still definitely a BotW/TotK dungeon. Networking mirrors/manipulating light beams was a nice nostalgic callback, but I thought it was done better in previous games. (particularly the Ikana Canyon/Stone Tower area in Majora) The Temple certainly had a grand scale that I appreciated, but it seemed very empty, and once again it was just a matter of figuring out how to reach certain points so you could use the Sage's ability to activate a device. I finished this dungeon the fastest of the four.

-Queen Gibdo was a chaotic boss that was satisfying to beat but also very annoying, especially since I spent a good part of the fight chasing Riju down. It wasn't nearly as annoying as Mucktorok (thank god), but Colgera definitely sits as the best boss of the four regions, and the competition isn't even close.

-Why did we have to watch the same post-dungeon cutscene four times? There had to be a way to modify this part dependent on whether or not you've completed another region already. I've been craving some new insights or information about the Imprisoning War but each time I got bupkis.

-Overall, I give the whole Gerudo scenario a B+. I can't definitively say that I liked it better than the Zora section, but I liked it just as much.

-Naturally, I had to spend several hours running around hunting for shrines and farming for materials before I returned to Lookout Landing. The whole "evil Zelda" thing is the weakest part of this game's story; even if I hadn't already found all the Dragon's Tears at this point, I was never fooled into thinking this was the real Zelda. I suspect that no one else was either. I wish they'd cut out this thread entirely, or at least re-worked it so it was far less contrived.

-I like that they removed "Zelda" from the blood moon cutscene after this event. That's a nice detail.

-The best part of chasing fake Zelda was that I got to collect a bunch of monster parts quickly. I also found some great weapons scattered throughout the castle that I missed on the cursory pass I did much earlier on (I'm still carrying around the first Dusk Bow I found sometime after I finished the Wind Temple).

-I enjoyed the Phantom Ganon fight. It might've been more of a surprise if I hadn't already encountered him from the Grabby Hands, but at least this wasn't just a bland repeat of those encounters. Liked having all the Sages show up for a Power of Friendship moment too.

-I'm obsessed with the demonic horse Ganon was riding in the following cutscene. I desperately want to be able to tame and catch that beast because it looks amazing. I'd give it an ill-fitting name like Sugarcube and parade it all around Hyrule.

-I've just barely started the fifth Sage quest, in that I found the special clothes and cleared the storm from the sky islands. Since I'm invested in trying to clean up the remaining shrines and lightroots, it'll probably be awhile before I finish this quest. Even with Mario Wonder and the Mario RPG remake looming, I'm still enjoying TotK too much to want to rush to the end. Yes, even after 200 hours. It's going to easily overtake my BotW playtime at this rate, and that's assuming there really won't be any DLC.

[an-old-archive]

This week has definitely been a roller coaster and I don’t remember going to a theme park, so please let me off this crazy ride.

[harryspet]

plaything | sebastian stan

[Warnings] dark sebastian stan x reader, dark chris evans x reader, lots of dub con bordering on non con, spanking (aftercare?), dub con sex/oral sex, humiliation, seb wants you to call him daddy, impregnation, over/stimulation, abusive relationship, seb domesticating reader, manipulation, seb being a jerk and chris being creepy

A/N: This is for @sherrybaby14​ ‘s Prompt Challenge! If you’re not already following her, please do! The original prompt was “ Bucky fic where the relationship is already well known to be dark. Maybe he views her as a plaything and likes to do things that set her up for failure so that he can punish her. Maybe some gas/lighting too”. I’ve been watching a lot of Sebastian interviews lately so this fic was inspired by that. I know both Sebastian and Chris a super nice guys in real life but I had a lot of fun imagining them as bad guys! 

In which you can’t seem to escape Sebastian’s punishments.

Please like, reblog and let me know what you think!

word count: 3.1k

You watched Sebastian on the TV in your kitchen, licking a spoon covered in fudge batter. He was being interviewed by Jimmy Kimmel and he was as captivating as ever. You chuckled a bit as he made a joke and the crowd erupted in laughter. 

“Y/N, it’s not lady-like to lick the spoon,” Delilah, Sebastian’s chef, said to you. You were in the middle of yet another cooking lesson. You just could never get your food tasting the way Seb liked, “At this rate, I don’t think I’ll be getting fired anytime soon.”

The dessert was in the oven and now the older woman was placing the finishing garnishes on their steak, “He likes his steak medium-well, remember that,” Delilah went on but you couldn’t concentrate. 

You know you should’ve paid attention but you knew deep down you’d never be a good cook. At least, not in the way Seb wanted you to be, “You don’t think he’ll notice it’s microwaved?” You asked Delilah who had previously agreed to your scamming. You’d pretend that you made what she had. 

“He shouldn’t notice because my food is delicious either way. But, it may taste a little different and you can blame that on the fact that you made it,” You nodded nervously. 

“Thank you, Delilah,” The older woman only smiled as she began to gather her things. Everything was laid out and now you could put everything in Tupperware and microwave it tomorrow before Seb arrived. 

You put your oven mitts on and walked over to the oven. You lifted the pan of brownies out of the oven and set it on the stove. The interview on the TV was ending now and you watched as Jimmy told the audience the opening date for Seb’s new movie. 

Seb hadn’t been back to your million dollar apartment in two weeks because he was doing press all day and night.

You almost didn’t hear Delilah say from the foyer, “Mr. Stan, you’re home early,” Your heart dropped. 

“Delilah,” You were sure they were hugging now, “I thought I wouldn’t be seeing you for a while. You look as beautiful as ever.”

You quickly put away all the spices and cutting boards, just throwing them in a random cabinet. And then the plates of food … you stacked them and threw them into the garbage can. You panicked, he couldn’t know that Delilah had made the food after you promised you’d do better. 

“Well … I- oh look, my husband is calling me,” Delilah rushed out, “Have a good evening, Mr. Stan!”

When Sebastian entered the kitchen, you were smiling wide, a dash of flour on your cheek and apron that you had just put there, “I thought you were going to be in L.A. for the rest of the night,” You said to him, kissing his cheek as he approached you. He didn’t return the affection, his eyes tired from his flight. He was wearing a plain black t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants, “I just watched you on TV … you did great.”

“I finished up earlier than I thought. I wanted to see you,” He looked down at you, his eyes burning holes into you. He knew something was up. 

“You look exhausted but I know what will wake you up. Your favorite midnight brownies! Because, you know, we usually eat them at midnight-” He took one look at the brownies and turned back to you.

“Why was Delilah here?” He interrupted, reaching a hand to wipe away the flour on your cheek.

Your smile fell, “S-She came to give me the recipe for the brownies,” He didn’t believe it and you bit down nervously on your bottom lip nervously, “I asked Delilah to make dinner and I was gonna pretend that I had made it myself.”

Seb sighed, a smirk tugging at his lips, “And where’s dinner now?”

You pointed towards the trash can, “And you wasted the food too?”

“I panicked,” You tried to explain yourself, “But I’m gonna make dinner for real tomorrow. I watched Delilah do everything so-”

You yelped as he suddenly grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you closer to him. His breath fanned over your face and then he leaned down to your ear, “You haven’t cleaned either, there’s dust on the painting in the foyer.”

“I-I was going to do it tomorrow before you got home,” You whispered, your heart pounding. 

“Do I ask for too much, Y/N? I’m not sure why you like frustrating me.”

“I-I don’t like frustrating you, Seb.”

“You do,” He insisted, “Why else would you throw schemes like this together?”

“I-” He shushed you and you swallowed your words. The look in his eyes was crazy and you weren’t sure what kind of beast you had awoken this time. You tried to remember a time when things weren’t like this. When he chased you and you thought you might be more than his plaything. 

+

You met Sebastian at one of his interviews. Of course, you didn’t expect him to spare you a second glance because he was the celebrity and you were the girl running to get everyone's coffee. You were practically an assistant to the assistants. You only did the job because it paid slightly more than minimum wage and you were late on your rent. 

You carried three different trays of coffee into the dressing room. It was a smaller production company then he was probably used to. There were at least three other Avengers in the room getting their makeup touched up. You handed the coffees to each of their assistants and then to your boss. 

You would’ve walked away but you saw him take a sip, his eyes still narrowed on you, “This is four sugars …” 

“Yes,” You said quickly, looking over the receipt. Your face visibly fell as you read it, “Well, it’s three but I can find you some sugar, sir. It’ll only take a moment.”

“You can’t seem to get anything right on the first try, can you? I order this drink a million times a week. The other coffee girls can get it right. Why can’t you?”

You took a deep breath, “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

“You’re right because you’re-” You closed your eyes and waited for him to say you were fired. A tall figure emerged behind you and you slowly opened your eyes. 

“I’m sure one sugar isn’t the end of the world, sir,” Seb had said, a hand pressed to your lower back, “If you’re going to treat your staff so poorly, in front of everyone I have to had, then maybe Marvel shouldn’t be giving you their business.”

Your boss was practically jumping out of his skin, “I-I apologize, Mr. Stan,” 

As your boss scurried off like a mouse, he stepped in front of you, “I’m Sebastian.”

+

“I work such long hours, I have to fly around the world, but I take care of you, don’t I?” You nodded vigorously, “I just … don’t like to be lied to. You know what this means, don’t you, pet?”

Pet.

He loved to call you that when his temper got the best of him. Yes, of course, you knew, “Sebastian, not tonight, please-” 

He forced you to look into his eyes, “But I know you like it, Y/N,” With his other hand he gripped your waist, pulling up your skirt. You never seemed to avoid it. There was always something you did wrong that led to this. 

He pressed his lips to yours and you were surprised how gentle he was. Your lips moved in sync with each other as he pressed you against the kitchen island. He was untying your apron and it fell to the ground. Then he was reaching into your panties, easily finding how wet you were, “That’s my girl,” He smirked against your lips, starting to rub circles over your sensitive bulb. 

You ground against his fingers, wanting more friction between you. He kissed the side of your mouth, then your chin and down to your neck, “Ah,” you moaned as he played you like a piano, a song that he had spent the last year memorizing, “Seb, Seb …” 

“Call me Daddy,” He demanded and you moaned as you neared your climax. 

“Oh my god, Daddy,” You were about to tilt your head back when he suddenly removed his fingers. Not in a teasing way and your eyes widened you realized he wasn’t in a playing mood. He grabbed your hips roughly and turned you around. He pressed on your back until your chest was against the marble, “Only good girls get to cum, Y/N,” You felt him walk away and you didn’t dare look back at him, You heard a drawer open and slam shut. 

He lifted your skirt and as he pulled down your underwear, you closed your eyes shut. The impact didn’t come as you expected. You thought it stung much more than when he used his hand. You whimpered, your hands balled into a fist, ���You remember what to say, don’t you, pet? I’m giving you twenty and I’m sure you don’t want any extra.”

“Thank you, Daddy!” 

He’d rub a circle and then hit your bottom with the wooden spoon again. You thanked him for each one. As the spanks increased, you squirmed around and Sebastian decided to pin your arms behind your back to hold you in place. 

When he was done, tears were streaming down your face, “Good girl, Y/N. Very good,” Sebastian let go of your wrist, gently helping you up before lifting you into his arms. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he carried you out of the kitchen. 

You cried as he set you on the bed you shared and as he rubbed aloe vera over your bruises. Sebastian held you, placing a kiss on your forehead, as you cried yourself to sleep.

+

You thought your punishment was over but as you exited the shower the next morning, you found a surprise waiting for you on the bed. A “surprise” was probably the wrong word to use. You picked up the pair of black stilettos and set them by your feet before picking up the note. 

Wear this. No panties. Finish cleaning the house and then come meet me in my office. My bookshelves need dusting. - Your one and only love, Sebastian

You balled up the note, tossing it to the side, as you took a deep breath. You decided that he wasn’t going to break you down this time. You dressed in the black, satin, mini dress and your mouth dropped open as you realized it ended an inch after your bottom. The top was basically a corset that pushes your chest up and the clear straps that held them up were flimsy. A matching white apron accompanied everything but even that seemed to be mini-sized. You could barely get on the heels without your whole bottom showing. 

You gritted your teeth, pacing the room, as you tried to get used to the heels. You reminded yourself again that you’d do this with a smile on your face. You pulled your hair back with a tie and left the master bedroom. 

You cleaned almost the entire house with those heels on. Your feet ached and every random draft of wind sent you shivering. If you moved in a certain way, you could feel the satin rubbing against the bruises on your bottom, a reminder of the punishment you suffered the day before. 

You wiped a drop of sweat from your forehead as you finished wiping down the kitchen counters. After you carried the duster to Seb’s office and as you knocked you heard, “Come in, pet,” And you spotted Seb leaning against the front of his desk. 

His eyes were dark and as you met Captain America’s blue-green eyes, your heart dropped to your stomach, “Seb-”

“You know Chris, right, Y/N? You met at that wedding a few months ago?” Sebastian asked, gesturing over the muscular man perched on Seb’s leather couch. 

You remained silent, not wanting to meet the other man’s eyes. You shifted uncomfortably in your dress, pulling at the sides, “Y/N looked very different then … but I have to say that I prefer this look much more,” You could feel his eyes taking in your body. 

You had promised yourself you’d get through this unscathed but you hadn’t planned for this. You wanted to die of embarrassment and it was only as Seb said, “Don’t mind us, pet. We’re just talking business. You have a job to do.”

Your mouth was dry and you felt frozen, “Sebastian, please-”

You cut yourself off because the glare he gave you was deadly. It took you a moment to get the courage to take a step. Your heels clicked against the hardwood floor as you paced over the tall bookshelves that were placed opposite the couch Chris Evans was sitting on. 

You began to dust his collection of books and you cursed the fact that man loved reading about space so much.

Both of their eyes were raked in your body. They muttered a few sentences talking about some director but you knew they were just trying to fill the air. Their focus was you and only you. 

You reached the lower levels but as you had to reach the top one, your dress rode up. You quickly pulled it down but it happened a few more times, “I don’t think you’ll do a very good job if you’re pulling at your dress the whole time, pet,” You almost shot an accusing glance towards him. 

Instead, you stopped holding onto your dress before politely saying, “I don’t think I’m tall enough to reach the top shelves,” You spoke through gritted teeth. 

Seb glared at you sharply but Chris only smirked, “You might’ve hit the lottery with this one, Stan.”

In any other context, you might’ve appreciated the compliment. 

“The coffee table is a little dusty too,” Sebastian lied and you tried to scowl. You walked over to the coffee table, bending down to dust the table. You were close to Chris now and you saw him lean forward, elbows resting on his knees. 

“Look at me, Y/N,” Chris had told you and you did, keeping eye contact as you dusted all the knick-knacks that Seb kept on the coffee table. Yours were on him but he was trailing down to your chest. You guessed he had seen enough of your bottom while you were dusting. 

You stood up straight then looked at Seb, “Did he tell you to stop looking at him?” And you winced as you turned your head back to Chris. 

Seb moved behind you but you couldn’t take your eyes off of Chris. Seb pressed himself against your back, lifted up the skirt of your mini dress. He roughly stuck his fingers between your fold and his fingers were wet as he pulled them away. How? How could that happen when you felt sick with embarrassment. 

Your face was probably bright red by that point, “And I thought you couldn’t upset me further. Now you’re getting turned on by another man. Right in front of me, I should add.”

“S-Seb I-I-” He grabbed you by the front of your neck, pulling you further into him, “I-I’m not, I promise!”

“Don’t lie to me, Y/N. You love the attention. Does Daddy not give you enough?” He spoke huskily into your ear, “Now you have to show Daddy’s friend who you belong to. Bend over, hands on the table.”

As you bent over, you couldn’t help but wonder how things had become so drastically different. You placed your hands flat on the table and it wasn’t long before you heard Sebastian’s belt come off. You thought he might spank you at first but you felt the hard tip of his length press against your entrance. 

He grabbed your hair, forcing you to tilt your head up and look at Chris. He was leaning back now, his hand over his crotch. You could see the hard on beginning to form underneath his jeans, “Only Daddy gets this hole, understand?” And before you could answer, he entered you all the way. 

You gasped, unable to find the words as you screamed out. “Right, pet?” He slammed into you deeply.

You nodded, “Y-Yes, Daddy. Only you.” Seb pounded into you, animalistic growls in his throat as you squeezed around him. 

Soon, you had both fallen to your knees but he only went harder, “Seb, Seb!” You moaned his name, already nearing your climax. The angle you were at let him hit your most sensitive area with every thrust. And as he bent over your body, his fingers rubbing your sensitive bulb, it wasn’t long before that wave of pleasure ripped through you. 

Your body shook and you tried to run away from the full force of it, Sebastian pulled you back onto him. He wasn’t done yet. Chris had pulled his hard member from his jeans and was stroking it as he watched you react to the over/stimulation. Seb had even pulled down your dress so your breasts were fully out. 

Seb didn’t let up on stroking you and, as your second climax came, you thought you might fall apart. “You like it when he watches, don’t you?” Seb groaned in your ear, “You want him to see me put a baby in you.” Seb’s stroke slowed but they were still deep as his song neared its crescendo. 

Seb knew that you were in the middle of switching your birth control methods. 

“Beg me to put a baby into you,” He said, pulling your hair tighter. 

“Ah,” you moaned, “Please give me a baby, Daddy! Please!”

With that, Seb’s hips tightened as he released into you. You felt the warmth deep inside you and you were still shaking as he pulled out, “Good girl,” He said, out of breath. 

You looked at Chris who was thrusting into his own hand. Seb smacked your bottom loudly, “Finish him off, Y/N,” You turned to Seb with wide eyes. As if he hadn’t humiliated you enough. He hit your bottom again, “Now.”

You hesitated before crawling around the table. You felt your own fluids and Seb’s running down your leg. You perched yourself between the older man’s legs and he responded by grabbing your face, pulling you up to his member. 

You closed your eyes as you took him into your mouth. Chris groaned, leaning back as you took him in deeper. You remembered how Seb liked it. Whatever your mouth couldn’t cover, you used hand, twisting around his length, “That’s it, such a good girl,” You gagged as you took him in further. Sebastian loved when you gagged and now you knew Chris did too. As Chris finished, he forced your head down, and you thought you might run out of air as he released into your throat. 

You fell back, gasping after you were forced to swallow it all, “I think I’m going to come to New York more often,” Chris gave you a tired smile.  

You looked to Sebastian who was already up, buttoning his slacks, “Straighten yourself up, Y/N, don’t be rude to our guest.”

+

Hope you enjoyed! Check out my dark peter parker fics and my new Bucky fic called Obedience!

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 09.10.20 lb

lol, lemme preface this by telling you what i know about the show from my out-of-context insta-viewing:

kabir sends his gf riddhima in to spy on vansh RAISINGHANIA (naam ka wazan check karein ji. kaafi hi bhaari-bharkam, just like the fake baritone the actor playing the character is being forced to put on.) vansh is some kinda shady, but idk WHAT SPECIFIC KIND of shady..... like is he just your garden-variety-evil-capitalist-ala-ambani-bezos, or is he into shit like drug smuggling and human/organ trafficking???? no one knows. maybe a little bit of both. but kabir’s a COP, and we all know that those fuckers are the shadiest shits around (#ACAB) so yeah, true to type, kabir shadyyyyyyyy. he’s actually the secret illegitimate son of vansh’s stepmom and together they wanna ruin vansh and take all his monies. so anyway, kabir sends in riddhima, who’s just a whole special brand of dumbass, but also extraordinarily determined in the way only tellywood heroines are. so she’s basically sticking her nose everywhere that doesn’t belong and being a pain in the ass of literally everyone in the show, including her own (coz she seems to get injured in novel and entertaining ways in every second episode.) kabir ultimately manipulates her into marrying vansh, while vansh has apparently married her KNOWING that she’s a spy and is probably playing the long game to see who her puppet-master is. long story short, heterosexuality is too potent a force and the Stupid Spy Girl and Gangsta Guy are currently slowly giving in to the Feelz™, despite missing that one-little-teensy-weensy-who-even-needs-it-in-a-real-relationship thing. y’know, that little thing called, idk, i think it’s called “TRUST” or some such strange unheard-of concept.

oh, in between all this there’s also some bizarre plot about some ex of vansh’s called ragini, who’s dead??? missing? idk. kabir is real interested in that and wants to jail vansh for it, but we’ve long forgotten about ragini by this point #RIPSis anyway, there’s some kinda statue of her’s in the attic or some shit, coz vansh is some kinda modern day gender-reversed medusa who turns women who cross him into statues??? idk man, idk. so riddhima is pretty much in constant danger of being statue-d.

also vansh has a requisite irritating famiy in tow, that he’s burdened with being in charge of (coz no rest for the unfortunate eldest son who lives in this godforksaken mansion, be that an oberoi or a raisinghania) feat: a dadi who is well-meaning, but as annoying as the one in IB was, constantly spouting platitudes about how vansh and Spy Girl trooooooly lurrrrrrrrrrve each other *kissy noises*; some chachi/chacha who are all “HEY WHY DOES HE GET TO BE THE BOSS, WE WANT CONTROL OF THE CRORE-ON KA BIJNESS TOO”, some very fake kanji-eyed siblings/cousins who are supreme bitches, and ofc one (1) normal sibling who is sweet but really does nothing around here. oh and there’s his right hand man/bff too, who seems to be not 100% (maybe just 83%?) incompetent like everyone else. that poor sod just got suckered into marrying Kanji Aankhon Waali Bitch Sister, who is pregnant with some total rando’s baby, and is just an all-round asshole to Riddhima/Right Hand Man, because “ugh, yeh do kaudi ke middle class naukar log, cheeeeee.”

ok now that the sasta, not-at-all-useful recap has been done, LET’S GET INTO THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

———————————————————————

the chachi is screaming her goddamn headdddd off coz her room is on fire. ofc it is. when has anything good ever happened in this manhoos house of horrors.

lmao the kanji eyed cousin has like 3% concern that his mom will be fried like a taaza jalebi. he's literally sauntering luxuriously towards his mom's room jaise park mein tehel raha ho.

chachi's screaming is getting on my nerves. aunty you're wasting valuable oxygen this way.  

riddhima is behind some secret box that aryan and chachi stashed in the room.

THESE PPL ARE SO CHILL ABOUT A WHOLE ROOM ON FIRE (note: it’s shivaay's room in IB) and they're just hanging out in the living room (which if you’ll remember, IS ATTACHED TO THE ROOM THAT WAS SHIVAAY’S) as if fire doesnt have a tendency to y'know..........  SPREAD RAPIDLY.

riddhima is fighting with the bloody fireman saying ki i need to save the box. #priorities

aaaaaaand the fireman is kabir, who has come to haath maarofy on Box of Secrets.

and we know this coz he did a DRAMAAAAAAAAATIC reveal by taking off his mask. in a room FULLY ON FIRE. idhar non-flaming rooms mein bhi ab mask nikaalna danger ho gaya hai, and this guy justtttttttttt dgaf. tum jaison ki wajaah se hi we can't bloody stop the spread.

my god this house has been decorated soooooooo fucking tackily. never thought the oberois would be the classy ones.

shady saasumaa and riddhima stinkeye-ing each other over a bowl of shehed. lol, what even. truly some "rasode mein kaun tha" lvl of politics.

oh ho, saasumaa and kabir lagaaofied the aag.

saasumaa gloating over the fact that riddhima will now never get her hands on Box of Secrets.

flashback time: hahahahaha KABIR LITERALLY LOBBED A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL INTO THE ROOM AND CHACHI DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING HEAR IT OR ANYTHING. lmao everyone in this show is a dumbass. how blissful life must be with just one (1) working brain cell.

riddhima runs into flaming room. ofc now we will have a prolonged sequence where kabir tries to keep his identity and riddhima being the dheent that she is, will give chase.

please note, that not even 48 hours ago, this woman walked barefoot on a bed of coals AND a hallway full of broken glass. AND NOW SHE'S RUNNING FULL SPEED BEHIND KABIR AS IF SHE’S PT USHA. SIS, TUMHARE PAIR HAIN KI KYA HAIN? YOU'RE LONG OVERDUE FOR AN INTENSE PEDICURE AFTER THIS WEEK.

and ofc, he got into a getaway car and made it away.

yeh lo, iss beech mein dadi behosh. ouff.

whooooooooops, dadi has some weird blue nishaan on her neck.

LMAO KABIR SHOT AT RIDDHIMA WITH A POISON BULLET OR SYRINGE OR SOME SHIT, WHICH HIT DADI INSTEAD. LMAO MAN THIS SHOW. IT'S SO FUCKING DUMB, I LOVE IT.

some more stinkeye politics between saas bahu.

bahu is passive-aggressively giving saasumaa roses to congratulate her on winning this round.

riddhima is dheent!max. she's like kuch bhi ho, i'll find the secret anyway and your victory will witherrrrrrr awayyyyyyyy like these flowerssssss and you will be left with the thorns that will prick youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

LMAO SAAS IS FULLY ROLLING HER EYES AT RIDDHIMA'S DRAMATIC ASS #SAME

just looking at helly's ears is making my ears hurt like a bitch. 

hey riddhima, have you ever thought that maybe this secret child of hers is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS?????? like honestly, the entitlement desis have to know the workings of other ppl’s wombs.

lol dumbass mummyji crumpled the flowers in her hand and played right into riddhima's stupid kaante waala metaphor. #ramMilayiJodi

hero ko covid hai toh ainvayi ke phone calls se kaam chalaana pad raha hai.

the dude left his house for literally the first time in months and the place is on fire and dadi got shot in the neck with poison. and the wife doesn't think she should tell him so that he doesn't become "pareshaan". sure, this seems like a dude who'll take this kinda thing real light when he finds out later.

(hint: he’s not. he’s a crazed, overprotective weirdo about his family. sound familiar?????)

this guy's dialogue delivery is so dodgy. idk what it is, it just seems so affected.

that plus the ainvayi ka editing just showing him in some random car (clearly from the earlier eps)  is just adding to the jankiness of the scene.

husband dude seems to know wifey's quirks quite well. kinda cute, kinda creepy. 

lol kal tak toh yeh banda itna romantic nahi tha. like he had a smooth moment here and there, but he was mostly real awkward and robotic and unsure how to handle These Strange New Feelings™. now he’s spouting cheesyass lines about being able to see the one who is special to you with dil ki aankhein and idk what.

who are these people who like SHARING their room with another person? #unrealistic

but i also i get you, riddhima. he was pretty much the only thing worth looking at in this room, coz the rest of it is so damn fugggggg. this room should be the one set on fire.

dang, some steamy scenes between them in the flashbacks. ouff abhi jaake episodes dhundne padenge. coz #tharkiTTisTharki

riddhima doing dadi seva. boooooooooring.

ofc dadi ki sui is always atkofied on playing cupid for pota, taaki she can score some par-pota/potis.

riddhima ki best friend ka happy birthday hai.

riddhima is like a lottttt has happened in my life, can't really tell you over a call. yup, that’s for sure. 

ok apparently sejal who said she’s in dubai now is NOT in dubai?? she's just up and flew to mumbai to "surprise" riddhima...... on HER OWN birthday? #doesNotCompute

lmao kabir's annoyance with mummy's useless glass of water. WHY DO MOMS THINK EVERYTHING CAN BE SOLVED WITH DRINKING MORE WATER?!?!?!!

now he's yelling at mom about how she's ruined everything. sure. blame the only one who's actually doing shit around here, while you sit on your ass in this room, glaring and growling like a hangry bear.

some menacing dialogue about how he needs to thikaane lagaaofy riddhima's hosh.

which has been overheard by bff sejal, who went and dropped a showpiece from shock. cool. so she gonna die. bye sejal, hardly got to know ya!

sejal being here doesn’t even make sense. she thought he was a PT teacher. then why did she show up here at his police waala office? also how did she connect the dots about the whole damn story with like 0.04% context that she got from what she overheard? kuchhhhhhh bhi.

[onebadwinter]

The Joker Tropes

Taken from Here

0% Approval Rating: Apart from Harley (and even then, only when their on-off relationship is "on"), Gaggy and Punchline, no one likes or supports the Joker. In any way, whatsoever. Damn near every other member of Batman's Rogues Gallery hates his guts, mostly because not only is he completely sociopathic and unpredictable, but also they are all scared shitless by him. The only reason why he's even allowed in teams such as the Legion of Doom is because of that fear: if they exclude him from the lineup, then chances are that dead bodies will be lining the streets in their name. Trickster spells it out in "Underworld Unleashed." Trickster: Great going, Neron, bring in the one guy no one wants to be in the same room with. When super-villains want to scare each other, they tell Joker stories.

Abusive Parents: One common tactic for the Joker to garner sympathy is claiming he was ill-treated by his parents. Given his propensity to spew out different and sometimes contradictory backstories, nobody knows if they're true.Harley Quinn: Joker told me things, secret things he never told anyone... Batman: What did he tell you, Harley? Was it the line about the abusive father, or the one about the alcoholic mom? Of course, the runaway orphan story is particularly moving, too. He's gained a lot of sympathy with that one. What was it he told that one parole officer? Oh, yes... 'There was only one time I ever saw dad really happy. He took me to the ice show when I was seven...' Harley: (crying) Circus... He told me it was the circus. Batman: He's got a million of them, Harley.

Acquired Poison Immunity: In many continuities, he's immune to his trademark Joker Venom/Smilex. In a crossover comic with Captain America, he also proves to be immune to Red Skull's "Dust of Death", as their trademark poisons are too similar to each other.

Ambiguous Disorder: He's undeniably insane and Ax-Crazy, but has no official diagnosis. If anything, he can just be diagnosed with "Being the Joker". However, it’s possible he’s perfectly sane and just The Sociopath, and is using his manipulation abilities to continue his reign of terror.

Ambiguous Start of Darkness: Related to his Multiple-Choice Past; the only thing consistent is that he was a low-level crook who got dunked in chemicals to become the Joker. C While some origins (most notably The Killing Joke) have him being forced into crime, others have him as already a sinister criminal beforehand. Batman (1989) and Batman: The Animated Series choose the Evil All Along interpretation.

Appropriated Appellation:

Arch-Enemy: A classic example to the Batman, and not just in the comics - they are pretty much the iconic gold standard when it comes to this trope. The two of them are the page image for a reason.

Attention Whore: A big part of his motivation in various continuities. He even admits as such at one point, while denying he's not behind one particular crime.Joker: Do you really think I would stir up so much trouble and not make sure you knew it was me?

Ax-Crazy: One of his main characteristics is his willingness to psycho on anyone, including his own henchmen.

Bad Boss: Willing to casually kill his own henchmen for any reason, be it part of a plan, for amusement, or simply on a whim.

Bad People Abuse Animals: Defied by The Joker in at least one story (Emperor Joker). Evil Jimmy Olson kills Superman, who has been turned into a dog, by crushing him underneath a fire hydrant. The Joker is simply annoyed, because he doesn't know how to make something as pointless as beating a dumb animal funny. Jimmy Olson is then beaten to death by two giant robots who appear out of nowhere.

Believing Their Own Lies: He sometimes believes his Multiple-Choice Past, Depending on the Writer of course. One issue of the Robin Series had the Joker actually in tears as he told the psychiatrist of his abusive childhood, only for the psychiatrist to coldly point out that it's the seventh story he's told now.

Berserk Button:

Black Comedy: This is one of Joker’s specialties. To normal people, killing would be a terrible thing, but to Joker, it’s hilarious, especially if he does it in a way that amuses him.

Bond Villain Stupidity: In a "Detective Comics" story written by Paul Dini, the Joker (while impersonating a stage magician he had previously murdered) shot Zatanna in the throat so she couldn't recite a spell to save herself, then locked her in a tank of water while strapping Batman in an electric chair. He didn't shoot her in the head because he wanted Batman to watch helplessly as she died. This didn't go so well because first, he's BATMAN! and second, Zatanna was able to write a healing incantation on the lid of the tank using her own blood, which made the spell even more powerful.

Boring Insult: While the Joker has used it a few times on others, he mostly does it to hear the sound of his own voice as the people he usually slings this insult at don't really care whether or not they're boring. On the other hand, this is Joker's Berserk Button when others use it against him. Most notably, he reacts poorly when Terry deliberately exploits this flaw with glee and even rubs it in his face in Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker. After all, the natural enemy of a comedian is The Heckler.

Breakout Villain: The Trope Codifier for comics. DC's initial intention was to kill him off in his second appearance. Fortunately, editor Whitney Ellsworth convinced DC to spare him, a panel was hastily added to show that he'd survived, and the Joker rapidly became not only Batman's Arch-Enemy, but arguably the most iconic example of an Arch-Enemy in all of fiction.

Break the Comedian: A sure way to determined if things have gotten real, even for the Joker, is if he isn't laughing or joking. A famous example involved the Joker being frightened during the events of Alan Moore's Swamp Thing run, when he was horrified by Arcane's actions.

Clear My Name: The Brave and the Bold has him framed for several murders and he must use Batman's help.

Collective Identity: As revealed in Darkseid War and DC Rebirth, the Joker has been used by three people, though Batman: Three Jokers clarified it as this: The Criminal (the original "Golden Age" Joker from the character's debut in Batman #1), The Clown (the "Silver Age" Joker, strongly implied to be the one who killed Jason Todd), and The Comedian (the current "Modern Age" Joker, who kidnapped and tormented Jim Gordon).

Combat Pragmatist : While his fighting prowess varies from remarkably proficient to extremely weak Depending on the Writer, the Joker is a consistently dirty fighter, striking enemies when and where they are most vulnerable. Besides his myriad of gag gadgets, he often carries concealed weapons, gases and acids on his person, and won't hesitate to brandish a wrench or smash a chair over your head in a pinch. He is usually adept with knives and, unlike Batman, rarely has any reservations about firearms. He has no qualms kicking an opponent when they're down, and will employ deception, feigning surrender or defeat to get Batman to lower his guard.

Comic-Book Fantasy Casting:

Confusion Fu: This is often his last line of defense when Batman corners him, especially in the animated television shows. Effectiveness varies.

Cop Killer: Sometimes police officers are among the Joker's victims:

Create Your Own Villain: Most stories posit he was chased by Batman through a factory with No OSHA Compliance, which caused him to be exposed to acid, discoloring his skin and hair and driving him insane when he sees his reflection. Often he claims Batman is responsible for turning him into The Joker.

Creepy High-Pitched Voice: In voiced roles, he usually has a high-pitched voice to contrast Batman's Badass Baritone.

Crossover Villain-in-Chief: In DC's Crisis Crossover events that involve a lot of villains, like Salvation Run and Forever Evil, The Joker usually fills this role along with Lex Luthor.

Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Insanity aside, sometimes the Joker's plans and methods are so out there they just seem stupid. Despite appearances, he's usually very cunning, and always very dangerous. In fact, part and parcel of what makes the Joker's plans devastating is that he knows how to hide the punchline for lack of a better word. The plans are so innocuous, so disheveled and so utterly random that they usually have no sane MO, which makes it hard to see the bigger picture of the plan unless Batman pieces it together quickly.

Critical Psychoanalysis Failure: Happens frequently, though this may be an indication of the competence of the staff at Arkham. One such time was with Dr. Harleen Quinzel, who bought his story hook, line and sinker and declared him sane, then broke him out of Arkham and started dating him (of course, her exact analysis was that he was utilizing Obfuscating Insanity and it's implied that she was actually right, so perhaps she was the only good doctor at Arkham after all...)

Deadly Prank: He generally considers murdering someone for a joke to be morally no different than putting a whoopie cushion on their chair.

Depending on the Artist: His depiction varies a lot between eras and between different artists in the same period. Major differences are whether he can form facial expressions other than a grin, and whether he is average-sized or freakishly tall and thin.

Depending on the Writer: There are many huge variations, the most common and glaring being:

Depraved Homosexual: Not above invoking this deliberately to get under Batman's skin. Whether he means all his flirting and feel-copping varies slightly Depending on the Writer and heavily depending on one's own interpretation.

Diplomatic Impunity: In A Death in the Family, Ayatollah Khomeini appoints him the UN ambassador to Iran, giving him diplomatic immunity. This was later retconned to the fictional Syraq due to reasons of taste.

Dirty Coward: There is a common misconception that Joker has no regard for his own life and doesn't care if he dies or not. In actuality he does care, and the reason he keeps taunting morally good characters into killing him is because he's confident that they don't have the guts to off him. When he comes across someone who is willing to kill him, he shows his true colors as a sniveling little coward where he starts pleading for his life.The Punisher: I got all the therapy you need right here, comedian.The Joker: You're really going to do it.

Disproportionate Retribution: Has been known to try to kill people for minor slights, such as welshing on a bet on a sporting event for trivial stakes.

Domestic Abuse: This characterizes his relationship with his "henchwench" Harley Quinn to a T. Joker frequently yells at her, puts her down, humiliates her, and exposes her to all manner of violence ranging from "merely" slapping or punching her to outright trying to murder her. Such is her Mad Love that she ignored his abuse for most of her existence in comic history, with the two only separating in the late 2010s.

The Dreaded: Easily one of the most feared villains in the entire DC universe. Other villains are afraid of him; it's been said that when criminals want to scare each other, they tell Joker stories.

Driven to Madness: Doing this to others has become part of his MO. What triggered his own insanity and belief in nihilism remains unknown.

Early Installment Weirdness: Just take a gander at his earliest appearances:

Electric Joybuzzer: One of his signature weapons, a lethal variation, most memorably used in Batman (1989). He ended up Hoist by His Own Petard when trying to use it on Static.Static: That was fun. Let me try! (BZZZZT!) (Batman approves.)

Enemy Mine:

Even Evil Has Standards: Oddly enough, this trope does occasionally apply to him.

Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Completely averted with Harley. He physically and emotionally abuses her and tried to kill her on numerous occasions. They eventually break up in the New 52 continuity.

Evil All Along: Some versions, such as the DC Animated Universe and Batman (1989), go with the interpretation that the Joker was evil, if not outright Ax-Crazy, even before his fateful transformation, with the chemicals just making him worse.

Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: The Joker is Nihilism Incarnate: he believes that life is pointless and insane, and the only thing anyone can do is give into the madness. Life is a joke, and once he got the joke he never stopped laughing at it. One of the reasons he's obsessed with Batman is because Batman is The Anti-Nihilist: Batman also thinks, to some degree at least, that life is meaningless. But rather than embrace the madness, Batman fights against it, trying to bring order to chaos through his heroic actions. So Batman got the joke too, but he's not laughing, and the Joker doesn't understand why.

Evil Genius: Though rarely the focus of his character, Joker is usually an extremely gifted chemist, constantly creating new and better versions of his signature laughing gas. He's also (unsurprisingly) a skilled planner on par with Batman himself, in addition to being extremely charismatic and manipulative when he wants to be.

Evil Is Petty: Joker truly sees no difference between throwing cream pies, robbing a museum, and brutal, torturous mass-murder. To him, it's all just part of the joke.

Evil Sounds Deep: Jack Nicholson in Batman (1989) and Kevin Michael Richardson in The Batman both give the Joker a deep, sinister voice, contrasting his usual higher-pitched depictions in other works.

Facial Horror: His iconic "perma-clown" appearance (the green hair, chalk-white skin, and most of the time, red lips) is the result of being submerged in a tank of chemicals. However, there was times this has gotten worse.

Fame Through Infamy: He's practically built a career on crimes designed more to spread his infamy than anything else. Perhaps his true illness is that he is an Attention Whore through and through...

Faux Affably Evil: Often addresses others in a polite and friendly way before he unleashes merry hell on them.

Flanderization: Over the years, his actions have become almost exclusively focused on causing as much carnage and chaos as possible or harassing Batman and his allies rather than performing any non-lethal mischief or practical crime.

Foe Romance Subtext: Sometimes will mess with Batman's mind by calling him by pet names or using innuendo. Or outright groping him. According to later writers, Joker regards their hero/villain dynamic as a very special relationship, and resents anyone or thing that gets in the way of it (like all those family members Bruce enjoys hanging out with), which is disturbingly like a jealous lover.

Foil: To Batman in several ways. If the origin offered in Killing Joke is to be believed, both Batman and Joker had one bad day that put them on very different paths.

For the Evulz: The usual motives of the Joker. Many of his crimes always involve sowing chaos and the schadenfreude of other people's misery.

Freudian Excuse: Even he isn't sure of his own history and will crop up multiple reasons for his insanity. The most accepted version is that he was a thug named the Red Hood who gets disfigured falling into a vat while trying to escape Batman. His backstory still remains a mystery.

Freudian Excuse Is No Excuse: Best displayed in The Killing Joke: Joker's "one bad day" is just an excuse, as he neither knows nor cares if it actually happened that way, and Batman confronts him on how his attempt to similarly break Commissioner Gordon failed.Batman: Despite all your sick, vicious little games, he's as sane as he ever was! So maybe ordinary people don't always crack. Maybe there isn't any need to crawl under a rock with all the other slimey things when trouble hits. Maybe it was just you, all the time!

The Friend Nobody Likes: Often plays this role among villain team-ups. It's implied that the only reason the other DC villains ever invite him to things is because they're terrified of what he'll do to them if he's not. Alexander Luthor Jr.'s death at the end of Infinite Crisis is brought about because, as Lex Luthor puts it:Luthor: You made one big mistake. You didn't let the Joker play.

From Nobody to Nightmare: The key thing about his Multiple-Choice Past is that nobody really knows who he was before he put on the Red Hood and fell into a vat of acid. As such, Joker was literally a nobody... who turned into the DC Universe's scariest villain, and who at times has upstaged even Brainiac or Darkseid.

Frozen Face: Most depictions have his face as such, with his massive rictus grin being something he can't really stop doing.

Gadgeteer Genius: While he seems to be a chemist first and foremost, the Joker has no trouble coming up with a range of tools and weapons of his own design and is easily as smart as Batman in this area. Other stories show that he has a solid enough understanding of such varied fields as engineering, computers and even robotics that he can at least hijack the sophisticated inventions of others and use them for his own ends with no difficulty whatsoever, and he is generally implied (though rarely outright stated) to have had a scientific background prior to becoming the Clown Prince of Crime.

Glasgow Grin: Heath Ledger's portrayal features very noticeable scarring from such wounds and tells two conflicting stories of how he got them. Sometimes, Depending on the Artist, the Joker has one in the comics, usually in out-of-continuity stories.

Gonk: Depending on the Artist, he varies from "disfigured, but still fairly handsome" to "barely passes for human", the latter cases usually feature him with a really long and narrow nose and a huge, exaggerated mouth with a permanent Slasher Smile.

Guest Fighter: After making appearances in the previous crossover and being a major player in NetherRealm's other big series, Joker shows up in Mortal Kombat 11 all on his own, freed from the restrictions of a Teen rating and able to showcase the true depths of his depraved bloodlust.

Handshake of Doom: Often kills unsuspecting victims by offering a handshake. When the other person grabs his hand, their palm is pricked by a device that resembles a joy buzzer, which injects deadly venom into their blood stream.

Hate Sink: Posthumously, his Injustice-verse incarnation is the primary target for audience scorn and gets saddled with this role by everyone in the game, its sequel, and the tie-in comics — the version from the Injustice-verse itself, at least. This is because he tricked Superman into killing his own wife Lois Lane and nuking Metropolis, then pulling a Strike Me Down with All of Your Hatred on the poor guy who that set him on the path to becoming a tyrant, all for the sake of doing it, and because he was tired of losing to Batman, so he decided to go after an easier target. His role as The Corrupter to Harley is explained to make her redemption feel more plausible, as even she has come to despise him for his actions. In particular, while Superman does terrible things, he is portrayed as a Tragic Villain due to the losses he suffered before becoming a bad guy, and as such, his killing of the Joker is always played for maximum pathos. Even villains as despicable as Brainiac, Darkseid and Gorilla Grodd openly despise him. This even continues into his Guest Fighter appearance in Mortal Kombat 11note , where even the likes of Kano, Shang Tsung and Shao Kahn can't stand him.

Human Head on the Wall: There's a rather famous piece of comic book artwork◊ drawn by Brian Bolland featuring The Joker lounging in a chair in front of a trophy wall mounted with the decapitated heads of various DC heroes and villains, all of them painted white and their faces distorted into a smile like the Joker himself. It's even been parodied a bunch of times with other comic supervillains sitting in Joker's place.

Iconic Outfit:

I'm a Humanitarian: There have been a few times when the Joker engaged in cannibalism, such as an issue of Grant Morrison's JLAnote after Day Of Judgment, where upon the reveal that the Martian Manhunter took the League and the now Hal Jordan hosted-Spectre into the Joker's head, the Joker lamented eating a man's tongue raw. Additionally, an infamous bit in Emperor Joker has the Joker eat all of China while he had Mr. Mxyzptlk's powers.

Insane No More: Is cured by Batman forcing unknown pills down his throat in the non-canon Batman: White Knight, causing him go back to his real name, Jack Napier, make a Heel–Face Turn and accuse Batman of being part of the problem (he's also considerably better than the usual Joker, being closer to the earlier trickster personality).

I've Come Too Far: At the end of The Killing Joke, Batman tries to reason with the Joker, insisting that they've got to stop before one of them kills the other and offering to help rehabilitate him. Joker briefly considers the offer before solemnly turning it down.Joker: No. I'm sorry, but... no. It's too late for that. Far too late.

It Amused Me: His raison d'etre. Why kill people in horrific ways, ruin their lives, and generally make the entire universe a worse place than he left it? Because it's funny.

Jekyll & Hyde: Inverted in the case of Batman: White Knight, where taking pills cures Joker of his insanity and brings back his original Jack Napier persona. However, if he fails to take the pills, the Joker resurfaces, which is exactly what happens in Batman: Curse of the White Knight, and he's much worse than before.

Jerkass: Though that is a total understatement, Joker still more or less counts as one. When he isn't killing or torturing people for his own amusement, he's taunting them and trying get under other people's skin.

Joker Immunity: The trope namer. He was originally conceived as a one-off villain but proved too interesting a character to be killed off so quickly, and a last-minute edit had him survive instead. He's so famous for this that most works that kill him off, the audience doesn't buy it, and it serves as an effective twist the rare times when he is Killed Off for Real. But even those rare occasions may continue to feature him in flashbacks or hallucinations as a Posthumous Character.

Knife Nut: In many appearances, knives are his Weapon of Choice, either to disfigure his victims or kill his foes. Often both.The Joker: Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too... quick. You can't savor all the little emotions. You see, in their last moments, people show you who you really are.

Large Ham: Holy shit, yes. He has an enormous sense of showmanship and is seen cracking Black Comedy jokes every minute, and it's a nigh-guarantee that whoever is portraying him will be munching the scenery to the very structure. Most especially the case if it happens to be Mark Hamill.

Laser-Guided Broadcast: In comic books as well in most of the media, when The Joker takes the control of TV and makes one of his menaces to threat and/or destroy Gotham City, good part of his message goes directly to Batman by tempting him to stop his plans, where usually destroy the city is just a secondary plan, getting/trapping/killing Batman as his real main plan.

Legacy Character: The idea of multiple Jokers is used in Gotham. There are two Jokers - Jerome Valeska, and his twin brother Jeremiah Valeska. The former is a deranged mass murderer who spread madness through Gotham. The latter is the actual Joker who becomes Batman's Arch-Enemy, and is even more dangerous than his predecessor.

Lethal Joke Character: In-Universe. Those unfamiliar with him tend to write him off as just some fool dressed as a clown, only to realize very quickly why they should keep their guard up around him. He's still one of the most dangerous characters in the DC Universe, despite existing in a world filled with super-humans and gods.

Master of Disguise: A talent he possesses even in his earliest stories. Joker is an expert with make-up, costumes and impersonations and has posed as everything from police officers to doctors to even Batman himself. He can go to extremely elaborate lengths to pull off his deceptions too, fabricating entire backstories and staying in-character for months at a time to see his plans through.

Mirthless Laughter: The Joker's constantly laughing, either at the pain and misery of others, the pain and misery he inflicts on others, or even his own pain. However, as describe by many and offered by the reader based on his scenes and what he does, there is NEVER any joy in his laughter. Never any real happiness. Just cruelty and mockery of pain and sorrow. If he does indeed have a tragic backstory that caused his madness, then this makes sense as he has chosen to laugh instead of cry. His statement about how the universe should end "so there won't be anymore people like me" during the Emperor Joker storyline lends weight to him being a Sad Clown.

Misanthrope Supreme: While it's not evident given Joker's Laughing Mad demeanor and his penchant for macabre jokes usually at the life and limb expense of someone else, Joker is actually absolutely full of hatred and spite towards basically everyone and the entire world. Several stories have gone into this and it's implied that the Joker finds it so easy to kill everyone around him, not because he feels nothing for them, but in fact because he loathes everyone aside from his twisted relationship with Batman.

Moment of Lucidity: There've been a few times when outside forces have sent him into a fit of temporary sanity over the years.

Monster Clown: One of the classic examples.

Multiple-Choice Past: Practically the poster child and possible trope namer. Even he isn't sure of his own history. The most accepted version introduced in Detective Comic #168 (1951) has him as a thug named the Red Hood who jumps into a vat of chemicals to escape Batman, disfiguring him and inspiring him to adopt the name Joker. Why he went by the name the Red Hood has changed over the years: The Killing Joke claims he was a failed comedian pressured into becoming a criminal to support his pregnant wife. The trauma of his disfigurement from jumping in the acid and his wife's earlier accidental death drove him insane. However, even this backstory is questionable, as the Joker himself calls it "multiple choice".

My God, What Have I Done?: Whenever he is made temporarily sane, most notably by a Lazarus pit after Ra's Al Ghul killed him after a Villain Team-Up and in JLA #15 during the Rock of Ages storyline, Joker usually expresses deep remorse for his crimes. Unfortunately it never lasts.

The Nicknamer: He's prone to giving nicknames to allies and enemies alike. Sometimes affectionate, sometimes snarky, but always undesired. Calling Batman "Batsy" or "Bats" and Robin "boy blunder" are probably his most iconic.

No Celebrities Were Harmed: Some of the Joker's victims fall into this.

No Name Given: The Joker is the only Batman villain who doesn't have an official real identity. However, there are three occasions where names have been used. The Jack Nicholson version used the name "Jack Napier", which was briefly mentioned in the Animated Series episode "Dreams In Darkness" since the series was partially based on the movie, albeit the doctors list it as one of his aliases. The Gotham version played by Cameron Monaghan gives him the name Jeremiah Valeska. The Joaquin Phoenix version used the name "Arthur Fleck", though the movie raises the question that he doesn't know who his father is, so 'Fleck' might not even be his surname. The Telltale series plays with this by 'naming' him 'John Doe' - which is just a stand-in name police/hospitals use when they don't know someone's identity. While he still has no official name to this day, it's general fan consensus that it's either Jack Napier or just Jack.

Not a Mask: Sometimes he pretends to wear makeup, but it ain't makeup. Jack Nicholson's version wore flesh-tone makeup over his pale skin several times after his transformation. Though, this is Depending on the Writer, as Heath Ledger's depiction does wear makeup. It's unclear if this is the case for Caesar Romero's depiction, as Romero's mustache is visible at times (he refused to shave for the part).

Not Me This Time: Though he certainly wouldn't mind committing them, he's been framed for murders he didn't commit several times, such as by James Gordon Jr.

Obfuscating Insanity: Zig Zagged Trope / Depending on the Writer. Some stories claims The Joker is actually sane, but pretends to be otherwise to avoid the death penalty. Others says he is genuinely crazy. It must be noted that Joker, like other Batman villains, was only identified as insane from the 70s onwards by various writers.note

Offscreen Villain Dark Matter: Despite the Joker's infamous reputation and violent instability he never has any issues finding new henchmen for his schemes nor does he ever has any issues finding the resources needed to pull off his often convoluted plans and he's often able to do it all without attracting the attention of Batman or the authorities until he's ready for them.

OOC Is Serious Business: A general rule of thumb: If the Joker isn't smiling, something very bad is about to happen.

The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: Pretty much sums up his feelings towards Batman. He often flies into a rage whenever someone else attempts to kill Batman when in his company, and whenever Batman (seemingly) dies he has a tendency to completely snap and turn sane. This actually goes the other direction as well: the Joker feels that Batman is the only one allowed to defeat him, and it's shown he's terrified of someone else doing him in in some continuities.

Outside-Context Problem: A recurring theme of Joker's "first appearance" stories in various adaptations is that nobody in Gotham is prepared for a guy who's only in it For the Evulz. Also, the Joker himself likes to find these, and exploit them.

Phrase Catcher: Back in his prankster phase during the Silver Age, whenever one of Joker's capers got foiled, someone would inevitably trot out the line "The joke's on you, Joker!" For obvious reasons, his current Monster Clown incarnation doesn't get this nearly as often.

Pimp Duds: He sometimes accessorizes his purple suit with a very wide-brimmed hat, which makes the ensemble look like a stereotypical pimp costume. Jared Leto's turn in Suicide Squad (2016) runs with this in his dynamic with Harley Quinn.

Pre-Insanity Reveal: The Joker, depending on the version, may have been an ordinary comedian before he went crazy and became a super-villain.

Purple Is Powerful: Purple is one of Joker's three colors (along with white and green) and he is powerful.

Psychopathic Manchild: For starters, when Batman is telling Joker to stay away from the Gordons after he apparently hurt Gordon's wife (it was actually his son, Gordon Jr. who did the deed), Joker commented that he didn't do anything to "the old bitch", and starts commenting to Batman that he misses the old Batman, and commented that he "doesn't want to go to bed yet" and that he "wants to play."

Redemption Rejection: In The Killing Joke, Batman defeats the Joker once again and then desparately pleads with him to accept help recovering from his madness before they eventually kill each other. In one of his rare, completely serious moments, the Joker sincerely apologizes and tells Batman that it's far too late for that.

The Resenter: Joker has often shown resentment towards people in many ways in different stories. The best example is him being resentful of anyone who garners more attention from Batman than him and anyone he sees as "stealing his act", i.e. being a laughing mad, jokey maniac cramping his style (The Creeper in Batman TAS). Regardless, many of his crimes and attitudes often carry an undercurrent or resentment be it towards to Bat-family because he resents sharing Batman with anyone or normal people for living their mundane lives free of care. Given how much spite seems to fuel his rampages, Joker's probably got a mountain of resentment inside of him.

Restoration of Sanity: On occasion, Joker's sanity will suddenly return to him, usually in stories where Batman retires or is believed to have died. His reactions tend to vary - sometimes we don't see how he reacts to what he did, but other times he actually shows genuine regret for his actions. Of course, these never tend to stick.

The Reveal: When Batman sat in Metron's chair in Darkseid War, one of the questions he asked was who the Joker was and the answer freaked him out. In DC Rebirth, it's revealed why:  The Joker is a Legacy Character: the Joker responsible for Death of the Family and Batman: Endgame is not the same man who crippled Barbara Gordon—and neither of them are the original Joker.

Riddle for the Ages: Being the Trope Namer for Multiple-Choice Past, it's unknown who he was before falling into an acid tank and whether he was nuts even before being dunked. He even believes his origins, Depending on the Writer of course.Joker: They throw me out, and I had a wife and an unborn child… or it was two cows and a goat? Sometimes it's so confusing…

Rule of Funny: One of his primary themes (alongside insanity), as explained in Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?: "Kid. I'm the Joker. I don't just randomly kill people. I kill people when it's funny. What would conceivably be funny about killing you?"

Secret Identity Apathy: In most continuities, he simply doesn't care about Batman's Secret Identity, understanding that Batman is the true face and not the man behind the mask. It's shown sometimes that the Joker will actually be upset if someone outs Batman's identity to him, usually because it spoils their dynamic in some way. When Scarecrow pulls off Bruce's mask in Harley Quinn, it practically triggers a Villainous Breakdown.Joker: Half the fun of our relationship was the mystery! Now I know Batman is just some boring, rich asshole with parental issues!

Self-Made Orphan: In The Brave and the Bold #31, Atom reads his mind and sees The Joker burning his parents alive after they catch him killing animals.

Slasher Smile: He wears one almost by default. Reportedly, it was inspired by this photo◊ of Conrad Veidt in character as Gwynplaine (a man with a disfigured face, causing him to have a perpetual grin) in The Man Who Laughs by Victor Hugo.

The Sociopath: A skilled and gleeful manipulator, a vicious butcher who brutally tortures and murders others simply because he thinks it’s funny, extraordinarily impulsive given that he’s prone to turning his murderous urges on his own men on a whim or because one upset him in some way, shape or form, and has not even the vaguest notion of empathy, neither for his men or his victims.

The Spook: His backstory is an eternal Riddle for the Ages. DC Comics refuses to take an official stance on this.

Start of Darkness: Detective Comics #168 posits he was a laboratory worker who becomes the Red Hood in order to steal a million dollars from his employers and retire. In The Killing Joke he quits his job to become a comedian, but fails and is coerced by mobsters to commit a robbery, becoming the Red Hood. His disfigurement and (in The Killing Joke) his wife's death earlier in the story destroy what little was left of his sanity and he becomes The Joker. Maybe.

Stealing the Handicapped Spot: He doesn't do this. Rather, he hates it when other people do it and finds it hilarious to horrifically cripple them so they can legitimately park in handicapped spots.

Straw Nihilist: Provides the trope image and is the poster child for this. He claims that everything in life is just "one big joke" and death is the ultimate punchline. Joker also believes that "a bad day" is more than enough for anyone to turn out like him. This is shown notably in Injustice: Gods Among Us, The Killing Joke, and The Dark Knight. The Red Lantern Atrocitus even wonders what drove Joker to nihilism during an intro banter with the clown in Injustice 2.

Strong as They Need to Be: His fighting skills fluctuate wildly. Sometimes, Joker is an excellent fighter who can actually defeat Batman in a straight-up fight, whereas most writers prefer to present him as so weak that he can be knocked out cold with one punch.

Stupid Evil: Depending on the writer, The Joker can sometimes fall under this, where his cruelty and sadism tend to lead to his own death at the hands of all the people he's wronged.

To Create a Playground for Evil: His motivation in stories like Emperor Joker.

Too Kinky to Torture: The Joker has shown a proclivity for this over the years. At one point, the Joker berated a man who'd captured him for only hitting him in the face and The Dark Knight similarly sees the Joker berate Batman during the the latter's beating of him. He also enjoyed his and Bruce's final fight in The Dark Knight Returns. Salvation Run had established the Joker's been in constant pain since he took his fateful dive into the vat of chemicals that altered his appearance and not only had gotten used to it, but grew to enjoy it. This quote from The Dark Knight sums it up perfectly: Stephens: I can tell the difference between punks who need a little lesson in manners, and the freaks like you who would just enjoy it.

Tombstone Teeth: He is often drawn with too many too-long teeth as part of his trademark rictus grin, highlighting his nature as a psychotic and sadistic killer.

Troll: Most incarnations of the Joker dress themselves as being a lethal one of these. The best example is his DC Animated Universe version, who tailored each of his schemes as a joke or a prank, and sometimes even lectured his underlings on the importance of proper buildup and delivery when telling a joke. Batman in particular is the Joker's preferred victim, and many a Joker has refused to kill or unmask a Batman dead to rights, simply because it would spoil the fun of trolling him. But when others upstage or taunt him, he really goes nuts, as it's one of his Berserk Buttons.

Unreliable Narrator: Even he isn't sure of his own history, so anything he claims is suspect at best.

Villain Has a Point: Given his devotion to Rule of Funny, he's quite knowledgeable on what makes successful comedy, as seen with the featured image on Don't Explain the Joke.

Villain Song: There's no other villain who has belted out as many memorable music moments, not even the Music Meister. Three of them incidentally were sung by Mark Hamill behind the mic:

Villainous Aromantic Asexual: He is shown to be more interested in his schemes and mayhem rather than sex. He has had sex with Harley, but it is implied that it's more for her rather than his own enjoyment. He has actively ignored her when he simply wants to work on his schemes, even when she's in the translucent red night dress.

Villainous Friendship: No matter how bad things turned out last time, Lex Luthor and Joker will always work together again. Played With, as it isn’t just because of friendship. As Luthor himself notes in the ending of Infinite Crisis, you always "let the Joker play," lest he come after you for revenge later on for leaving him out.

Villainous Harlequin: He was this during the Silver Age. He is also this in Batman (1966) and Batman: The Brave and the Bold.

Villainous Rescue: In Dark Nights: Metal, The Joker pulls this off by teaming up with Batman to defeat the Batman Who Laughs, Batman knowing that a jokerized Batman would have the upper hand teams up with the Joker. It is so unexpected that the Batman Who Laughs, who is still prepared for anything Batman would conceivably think of, is unable to counter it let alone even consider it a possibility.

Villain Protagonist: He was the star of his own nine issue self-titled series from 1975 to 1976. In order to adhere to the Comics Code Authority, The Bad Guy Wins was never in effect - while he usually managed to get one over on other villains, each issue would end the Joker being apprehended for his crimes. He also got his own movie in which Batman didn't even exist yet, delving deep into what someone would have to go through to become the Joker.

Weapon of Choice: The acid-spitting flower, Smilex/Joker Venom... and simple crowbars, established by how he killed Jason Todd.

You Gotta Have Blue Hair: He has neon green hair caused by the chemicals he fell into.

[dangermousie]

Oh, what the fucking fuck!

So, I knew there was going to be some OTP rift because it was ep 20 of a 50 ep show so no OTP is allowed to be unmolested. But this?!

So, Tou and Xuezhi, high on the bliss of just-started relationship, decide to attend the wedding of the mega awful and clingy Fengzi. Clearly, they haven’t been paying attention and have not yet figured out that going to any large formal celebration is fraught with disaster - see Jin Rui’s infamous birthday party in Nirvana in Fire.

Fengzi, who is literally about to get married to Sword Dude who really loves her for some bizarre reason, drags Tou off to confess her undying obsession love to him and while he keeps going nope nope nope I have never expressed any interested in you, this is mega awkward, can I punch a bride on her wedding day and escape, comes up with this:

His face! A look can say more than a thousand words indeed. I am getting a distinct feeling he is torn between horror and desire to tell her he wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot fan. Heh.

Of course, our naive, good hearted, and utterly brain dead heroine overhears.

I am not sure why she is so appalled that a grown man may not have been a virgin when she met him (we are not even getting into why she thinks it’s true) but here we are.

Good luck!

Crazy Girl’s teacher pipes up with “Fan Flirt, don’t lie to your gf, you totally raped my boss.” Heroine? OMG You are slime, goodbye. And here is where I go WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!!!! First of all, why heroine would buy that Tou is a wanton rapist on a word of a person she couldn’t pick out from a lineup is beyond me - she has known him forever and he’s never evidenced any problematic tendencies on that front; more importantly (because yes people can hide their true selves and have masks and just because he was good with her doesn’t mean he’d be good with others), she has overheard the whole conversation between him and Crazy Girl and there is nothing to indicate that any rape happened - Crazy Girl is discussing it in “I want you back, I love you, we had amazing consensual sex how can you not love me?” terms. Why none of that gives our dimwit heroine any pause is beyond me. At least look into the issue for about ten minutes before bugging out. Second - why is Sect Girl’s instructor completely insane? Let’s say Tou is creepy rapist of sect girl years ago. Why the fuck would you blurt it out in front of the entire wedding party, which is not exactly enlightened with modern attitude and is now Sect Girl is gonna become gossiped about forever and her groom will not want to marry her. Like WHUT! Nobody wonders why she blurted it all out?

Honestly, I never truly warmed up to the heroine because unlike the hero of this drama, I don’t find naive and childish particularly appealing; but he does and now he is reaping the fruit of having that preference - Xuezhi never met anything complicated or manipulative that she could ever see beyond. Oh, Fan Flirt - like a cheerful dimwit, get what you get.

Oh well, it’s a Luo Yunxi drama, the man’s got to suffer photogenically, that’s his bread and butter to the nth power.

[noncommited-writer]

Peter is an intern at SI, the Tower, and wins an employee raffle for a few hours with Tony (who doesn't know Peter is Spiderman)?

What the fuck. I actually went all out with this one. I have no idea how this suddenly became a 2.6k word fic!!???????? I'm concerned and confused. But hope you enjoy anyway!

Peter had no idea what dumb impulse he had to drive him to do this. But he guesses this is the price for letting his dumb ass hormonal brain take over his decisions. This being, taking part in an office raffle that he had no plans of winning or even think he’d get a chance to win. The prize is a few hours with their CEO, the Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man.

For some reason, the raffle extended to the interns too (which shouldn’t surprise Peter. Interns at this company are treated amazingly) so that means everyone who is twenty and naively hopeful, threw in their name into a box, on the off-chance they would get chosen out of the hundreds of employees in this building to meet the one man they all admire.

He had throw his own name in on impulse, driven by his daydreams of spending a day with his handsome boss. Yes, Peter admits he is harbouring a huge crush on the billionaire, but he reckons it’s no big deal because it seems everyone here does too.

That is, until the winner is announced across the PA systems all throughout the ten office floors in the tower. Peter felt like sinking into the ground when his name was called out, even more so when he meets the jealous gazes of the other interns. When they tell him to meet Tony Stark on the penthouse floor, Peter felt like he was on fire.

He does his best not to burrow into his sweatshirt when he walks across the silent office, everyone’s eyes piercing through him. Peter heaves a breath of relief when the elevator doors close behind him.

“Mr. Parker?”

Peter jumps, his hands waving in the air as he spins in the empty elevator.

“My name is Friday. I am Mr. Stark's artificial intelligence in charge of controlling this tower.” Peter immediately forgets about his sudden scare, now staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes and a barely contained smile.

“Woah, that is so cool! Did Mr. Stark make you?”

“Yes. He used a rudimentary A.I. base as the building blocks to my personality. From there, I basically grow into my own person.”

“Holy crap, that is amazing! I knew Mr. Stark is brilliant but I didn’t know that he was able to create an A.I. fully capable of expanding her own mind and growing like an actual human being! You are extraordinary. I bet Mr. Stark is proud of you.”

Silence greets Peter in the elevator, and he shifts anxiously on his feet. He wonders if he’s crossed a line with talking about Mr. Stark. Maybe he was being rude?

“Um, Ms. Friday? Are you okay? Did I talk too much?”

“Just Friday, Peter. I… I’m okay. No, Peter, you’re okay. I’m just… processing.” Peter frowns. Did he break Mr. Stark’s A.I.?

“No one but boss has ever spoken like that to me before.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m an actual person.” She pauses. “Thank you, Peter.” The teenager flushes immediately, taking notice of how she is now using his first name.

“Uh, no problem. I just thought about how crazy amazing it is that Mr. Stark created what is basically a human conscience. It’s what anyone would do.”

Friday snorts and Peter had to backtrack and stop his mouth from gaping because he’s pretty sure that’s a very human reaction. “You’d be surprised. Even though many people here are interested in technology, not many have the capacity to care for it like Boss does.”

“I get what you mean. Have you heard of the printer incident with that intern from about a week ago?”

——

Tony has seen many things. The bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the good. Many of which leaning over to the former. It is a cruel world after all.

So maybe it’s because he hasn’t seen many good things in his life that it stops him in his tracks when he sees the most good—pure—and gorgeous thing in his life. Even in a ratty grey sweatshirt, he still finds himself fixated on the pretty little thing babbling along excitedly like a puppy with Friday which—hold on, Tony hasn’t even gotten over his looks to unpack that yet.

It’s the years of putting on masks and faking confidence he has under his belt that he’s able to stand up from his lab table and walk over with an air of suavity, somehow surprising himself he’s not tripping over his feet from those doe eyes that look so much better up close.

The way the kid stands up straighter and turns pink at how he gets caught with rambling to Friday is probably the most endearing thing Tony has ever seen.

“I take it you’re the lucky winner of the raffle,” Tony starts, reaching out his hand for a firm shake. The kid’s hand is warm and almost shaking with nerves as he takes it, “Yup! But I didn’t really expect to win. I kind of… joined on impulse.”

Tony only grins at that. He doesn’t step away from the kid, just looking him from head to toe after sliding his hands into his pockets.

If it’s even possible, the kid seems to turn even more pink, blinking owlishly at Tony. “Peter Parker, right?”

Peter nods slowly, and suddenly Tony’s head is filled with all sorts of ideas on how spend those hours with this bright-eyed intern. He doesn’t have much time after all, so Tony’s got to make every second count.

He gestures to the lab table, “Welcome to my man-cave. Or you can call it my safe haven.”

Peter trails after Tony further into the penthouse lab, his wide eyes taking everything in. Just when Tony is about to introduce his new baby (Mark L, a sexy little thing Tony has spent the last few days in his workshop trying to reconfigure) to Peter only to get cut off by, “Is this nanotech?”

Tony nods, waving a hand over the holographic screen and steps closer to Peter. “Yup. This baby is almost done, almost perfect down to the T. But there’s this one issue I can’t seem to get rid of. Every time I keep trying to activate it, it just does the opposite.”

Peter scans the thin lines of coding. “Are they activated through mental manipulation?”

Tony hums, watching as Peter’s brows furrow. The intern reaches up with his fingers to zoom in on a small part of the coding. Peter snaps his fingers, eyes going wide. “That’s because you’re scanning the cerebrum. I’m guessing you did the same for your other suits?”

The genius can only nod, more curious of where this is going. “You have to scan the cerebellum. Because it’s nanotech, the technology acts more intimately with your brain, almost like it’s a part of you, so you have the scan the part of the brain that controls movements like it’s another limb.”

Tony pauses, watching this pretty thing—smart too!—explain to him his mistake and somehow, it turns Tony on in all the best ways. He’s close enough to smell the faint scent of strawberries in Peter’s hair. Not creepy at all, Stark.

“Let’s see if your theory is correct, Parker. I bet lunch if this doesn’t work.”

The gorgeous intern only smirks, “I guess you’ll owe me a burger, Mr. Stark.”

——

Tucked in a small booth in the corner of a burger joint, the two men go off in tangents talking about their love of technology, their half eaten burgers forgotten in favour for each other’s attention.

The moment Peter starts rambling about how fascinating it is that Stark Industries has started using their renewable energy in other areas like cleaning water, Tony can only stare in amazement as this ball of energy showers him in praise and awe. The way those words spill out of his mouth giving Tony all the wrong ideas on how to spend the rest of the four hours they have together.

Just when Peter is about to digress to other ways Stark Industries can help the environment, the younger man goes rod stiff, eyes going hazy. Tony watches with worried eyes as the man stands up abruptly, almost tipping the entire table over. “Mr. Stark, I gotta—I gotta go, someone’s calling me.”

He turns on his heels and races out the door without hearing Tony’s muttering of, “Your phone’s not even buzzing.”

Tony tips generously and rushes out of the restaurant, following Peter’s footsteps. The moment he’s out on the asphalt, though, he feels the ground shiver. He turns to the different of a loud rumbly sound that echoes through the streets of Manhattan. He sees a large brute in a metal suit at the end of the street, a sharp pointy weapon at the top of his head, reminiscent of a horn, smashing through rows of cars and vehicles, shoving them to the buildings as if they weigh nothing.

Rhino.

Tony curses when he realises the one time he leaves his suit at home is the time he needs it the most. He taps his glasses. “Friday. ETA for the Mark L.”

“Seven minutes, Boss. By the time the suit is here—”

“Rhino would’ve done enough damage to the city already. Shit.” Tony stands up on his tip toes to look through the throngs of screaming civilians, trying to spot a head of curly brown hair. “Goddamnit, Parker. Where did you go?”

Tony knows he’s no match to the large beast, but he can’t stand idly to the side, especially when Peter is out there and possibly in danger. He pushes through the crowds, helping up the people who are getting trampled in the stampede and telling Friday to keep him updated on the suit.

Rhino is smacking cars left and right, endangering the people still inside and the people in the buildings the cars are landing on. Tony grits his teeth. He may not be able to fight him—hell, he’ll probably even die from doing this—but he has to try and buy time for the people to escape.

For once, he’s grateful for his lack of self-preservation skills when he walks into the middle of the road. “Hey, Horn guy! You mind getting off the street? You’re making the traffic worse!”

The large man drops the car he’s holding, his stormy eyes now trained on Tony who gulps. On second thought…

“Yeah, maybe you don’t know, but destroying cars is pretty expensive. Ever heard of car insurance? They’ll hate you.”

The loud deep chuckle he gives is enough to make the hair on Tony’s neck stand up, “Ha. Stark. Too dumb to hold get your suit?”

“I’d say I don’t think you’re even worth my suit. And… Is that a Russian accent I’m hearing? How’s the weather over there? I hear it’s too cold for a Rhino to reside in. Is that why you’re terrorising my city right now?”

Rhino spits on the ground, teeth grinding. “You talk too much. Like little annoy spider.”

Tony’s brows furrow as he mutters ‘spider’? Only for his thought process to be cut short when Rhino starts sprinting full speed in his direction. There’s barely enough time to roll out of the way, avoiding getting trampled to death by his large heavy feet.

“Okay,” Tony grounds out. He steps back into the middle of the street again. “I think you need to go see an eye doctor. I’ve never seen anyone miss that badly.”

The scream of anger is loud and suddenly, Rhino is facing him again, his arms out and wide. Tony knows he won’t have enough time to run away and with that realisation, he stands frozen to the ground, eyes getting wider and wider as he sees the giant run towards him.

Just when he’s about to run under his large arm, he sees a flash of red and feels a hard weight bulldoze into him. Suddenly, he’s in the air and a built arm is wrapped around his waist. “Phew. That was a close one. Don’t worry, sir, I’ve got you.”

He cranes his head to meet the blank stare of white lenses. “Spiderling?”

“Mr. Stark? Ah, that explains the whole screaming in the street like you want to die.” Tony huffs a relieved laugh.

“Didn’t know you swing around these parts.”

He feels the subtle nudge of his shoulder when the hero shrugs, “I swing around wherever there’s trouble.”

“Are you going bankrupt or did you just forget your suit at home?” The man asks.

“Left it. It’s coming soon.” They swing over a rooftop, and Tony is surprised by the almost gentle way Spider-Man sets him on the ground. “While I go stop Rhino, I suggest you wait for suit so you don’t run into the streets like you’re asking for it, Mr. Stark.”

I guess you’ll owe me a burger, Mr. Stark.

Tony’s brows raise. It’s the same exact way Peter pronounces his name. With that slight excited intonation and high pitchedness to it; he can imagine the way his lips pucker when he says ‘Stark’. He doesn’t know what goes over him when he sees the man about to leave. He grips onto his wrist, pulling Spider-Man back close into his personal space. Leaning in, he mumbles, “Thanks. I appreciate it, Spider.”

His Adam’s apple bobs up and down under his skin tight suit, and Tony is overwhelmed with the urge to peel away the spandex to plant his lips on that pale skin. “N-No problem, Mr. Stark.”

Tony’s smile is wide and almost wolfish, letting go of the man and stepping back. He already knows what he needs to know. He smelled those strawberries even through his mask.

Peter Parker.

It doesn’t take too long for his suit to arrive. He quickly flies over to the destruction, webs splattered all over the area. He can see Peter swinging from building to building, avoiding the thrown car parts at him, sometimes even catching them himself and throwing it back at the ruthless brute. Tony flies over next to him, shooting a blast to Rhino’s face, distracting him enough.

“I wonder where you get the time to do this and the internship.”

The hiss of surprise from Peter makes Tony smirk under the faceplate. “Was I that obvious?”

“Only when you kept saying Mr. Stark. Also, your strawberry shampoo was a dead giveaway.”

Peter looks at him over his shoulder, his cheeks rising under his mask. “My shampoo?”

Tony backtracks, “Uh, not that I sniffed you out or anything—it’s a pretty strong smell.”

Peter was about to respond, only to be cut off when a piece of rubble is thrown his way. Peter yells, “Talk later.”

They make quick work of Rhino, with Tony blasting him until his on his back and Peter webbing his large body up. They work seamlessly, as if years of practise made them fight like this. Tony isn’t sure what to feel about that.

When the cops arrive, both Tony and Peter get up on a rooftop building, conversation hidden and private. Peter is still trying to catch his breath, slumping against the ledge.

“So. My shampoo gave me away, huh?”

Tony resists the urge to look bashful. “It was a very distinct smell.”

Peter just laughs, throwing his head back. Tony doesn’t let the embarrassment get to him, however and quickly gives out a comment he knows will throw Peter off.

“Since we only have about two hours left together.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you show me how much of that flexibility is real and not just from the adrenaline?”

Peter stares hard at him through the mask, his eye lenses going wide. Tony swallows hard and shifts his weight on his other leg. The air is heavy and electrified, their hearts beating loudly and fast, almost in sync with each other. Tony retracts his helmet, his heady dark eyes roaming down Peter's defined body with a greedy glint, jaw ticking as his mind whirls of filthy thoughts that surprise even him. Peter doesn’t back down, however and somehow, Tony knows that whatever Peter says next will change his life.

“Only if you show me that your hands are as capable as they were during the fight.”

Tony isn’t the type to let people down with his abilities, and neither is Peter.

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Birds of Prey“

*in best Roman Sionis impression*  WHOOO!

Figured I might as well FINALLY watch it.  On with the show!

*silently jams to the opening logos*

This animated intro is great.

*snorts at the little animation of how an egg gets fertilized*

Why is this animated Joker a different (and actually better) character design than what we got in Suicide Squad?  Were we robbed of Letoker in full Joker suited glory?  I think we were.

“Behind every successful man is a badass broad.”  *points at screen in agreement*

I love Harley’s freaking rainbow apartment

The hyena!

This movie has the same amount of color saturation as “Pulp Fiction”

Freaking Bernie the Beaver is holding her tissues!  We stan supportive friends!

*gasp* Cass!

This guy [Roman’s driver] looks an awful lot like Jon Hamm and that is never gonna go away

“It’s not a party without a little drama!”  I love Ewan McGregor

*snorts in hilarity when Harley turns to address the audience about how much she doesn’t like Roman in front of Roman*

“Do give the Joker my [Roman] best.”  Uhhh....

*jams the crap out to “Boss Bitch” by Doja Cat*

*laughs at Harley drunkenly giving relationship advice to a female bust in the club*

“Some people have the Eiffel Tower.  Or Olive Garden.”  Can we please hear the stories about Gotham’s Olive Garden?

Oh that shot [of Harley walking away from the Ace Chemicals explosion] is great

[Four Minutes Ago]  *snorts in hilarity*

So far I actually really like Rosie Perez as Montoya.

Huntress!

*Huntress kills the mob people in the flashback*  That was awesome.  And the way Montoya steps back and forth to investigate the body is great.

“Harley Quinn just called open season on herself.”  And oop.

God, seeing Ewan as Black Mask is really gonna throw me off but man this is gonna be a great performance.

*jaw drops in horror when Zsasz removes someone’s FACE*

JESUS CHRIST HOLY SHIT RATED “R” HUH?!?

“Is that a snot bubble?”  Shit!

OHHHHH THAT SHOT OF ROMAN WITH THE MASK ON!!!  AAAAAAHHHH!!

The SATURATION IN THIS MOVIE

Also the soundtrack and aesthetic in this movie is very... “Suicide Squad”-esque

Man that sandwich looks good

*jaw drops when Harley accidentally throws her sandwich into the road*

Also they de-saturated everything again hahaha

Oh my gosh that guy [”Happy”] is HUGE

[GRIEVANCE:  COSMETIC VANDALISM]  Yeah, that sounds about right

“Par-ley??”  *snorts*

Her [Montoya’s] shirt....

Also why is she wearing that shirt at work?

This movie is giving me huge Tarantino vibes

Why does the actor that plays Montoya’s boss looks familiar?

Oh!  He’s Rufus in “Supernatural.”  Bobby’s kinda buddy!

“Ms. Montoya, we do have a dress code.”  There we go.

They are really just going back and forth in the timeline to cover everything, aren’t they?

Harley’s using nonlethal rounds?

The action set pieces in this movie so far are awesome.

*says “Run, piggy, run!” along with Harley*

Of course Dinah is singing “This Is A Man’s World”

Also I’ve seen like a 20 second Twitter compilation of Roman saying the f-bomb and it’s glorious

“We could make our own family.”  Oh snap.

WAIT THAT’S THE GUY WHOSE FACE ZSASZ REMOVED!

Does... Roman... like Dinah?  Like... that?  Or is this manipulation?

*chuckles when drunk Harley slides up next to Dinah at the bar*

*gets very uncomfortable at a guy trying to take advantage of a drunk Harley*

C’mon Dinah...

What’s the song playing here [when Dinah’s beating up the guys in the alley]?

Uh whatcha doing in the corner there, Zsasz?

“Oh sooongbirrddd?”  Noo...

Did I just see a street sign that said “ANUS”?

So is Cass faking a broken wrist or does she actually have a broken wrist?

So far my favorite characters are Montoya and Dinah.  Not gonna lie.

*has to muffle laughter when Roman does the mmkay hand sign* 

“I mean, I like crossbows!”  *giggles*

Holy shit, Zsasz is jealous of Dinah.

“Look at his little ears, the little haircut...”  *insane giggling*

ZSASZ IS DYING IN THE BACK I LOVE THIS SONG

Dinah is clearly rethinking some life decisions while looking at that statue of Roman

*jams out to “Sway with Me” by GALAXRA*

*Cass robs Zsasz of the diamond*  WHOOP!

*winces when Roman does acupuncture*

“SHE’s a chILDDD!!”  *laughs*

ZSASZ

Ho shit that shot of Roman on top of the stairs looking down at Harley

“VOTED FOR BERNIE” HAHAHA

*Harley completely derails Roman’s villain monologue*  THIS IS AMAZING

HE [Roman] GOT A BOWL OF POPCORN

*Zsasz licks Harley’s cheek*  EEUUUGGGHHH!!

Did that goon just pull a tampon out of Harley’s pocket?

I’M SORRY CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE PICTURE OF NUDE ELEANOR ROOSEVELT?

*gasps when Roman backhands Harley across the face*

OH HERE WE GO

HOLY SHIT THIS IS GREAT

ROMAN IN THE STRIPED SUIT

THE CHOREOGRAPHY

WHY WAS IT SO SHORT I LOVED IT

Where is this cover at on the official soundtrack?!?

“I’ll give you ‘til midnight.”  Hold on, hold on, what’s the timeline for this movie?

Harley’s just booking it in the background

Aaaand we’re back at the beginning!

Aaand there’s Harley!

Wait there’s about an hour left and we just now got to Harley meeting Cass?

CONFETTIIIII!!

Is she just using paint bombs on all the guards?

Harley, trying to enter the cells:  I AM PRESSING.  EVERY BUTTON.  I CAN FIND.

Why would they put Cass in the cell block with all the adults?

OH HALSEY!  COME THROUGH!

*Harley slides across the floor to knock a guy down*  OHHHH!!!

Daniel Pemberton’s orchestral score for this movie is reminding me an awful lot of “Into the Spiderverse”

Is that Katana’s sword?!?  How the hell did it get there?!?

WAIT SHE’S GONNA HUFF THE COCAINE?!?

Jesus, now THIS is Harley’s fighting style!  Holy crap!

*gasps when Harley gets kicked back and knocks off a car door off its hinges*

*jaw drops*  SHE JUST SET THAT DUDE’S BEARD ON FIRE

How does everyone seem to know where Harley is?

*Smash cut to Harley buying laxative for Dinah in the store*  Hahahahahaha!

“I do not care that you’re [Cass] a kid.”  Yeah, Harley, didn’t you uh... assist in the murder of Jason Todd in this universe?  Hmmm???

Wait so how long ago have Harley and the Joker been together?

Doc calls Harley “lotus flower”!

Those are the nuns from the school in the beginning!

She is actually... talking to the beaver

“[Joker] Sounds like a dick.”  I mean, yeah.

Also I just realized that Harley drew an actual dick in the Joker drawing’s mouth

HUNTRESS!

OH NOW WE’RE GETTING INTRODUCED TO HELENA!

*eyes widen in shock at the Bertenelli massacre*

*chuckles at the smash cut to Helena practicing in the mirror*

*Roman sees someone laughing in the club*  Oh no.

“Get on the table.”  Uh.

Oh no what is he doing?

“DANCE, ERICA!”  Ohh.  Shit.

“Take your dress off.”  *jaw drops in horror*

God, I cannot watch this.  Holy-

*has to avert eyes*

*Roman stops Dinah from leaving*  NO.

“You soothe me, little bird.”  AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

OK, I can take a breather now.  Ohhhh my God...

They’re [Harley and Cass] really just having a girl’s night

BRUCE, NOOOOO!!!

“No one knew we were here except-”  DOC SOLD THEM OUT!

“This next bit ain’t very pretty.”  Oh boy.

“I [Roman] own this town.  You have my protection.”  Mmmmm... no?

Whoa this super dramatic cover of “Hit Me with Your Best Shot”

OH HE’S [Zsasz] GONNA SEE THE TEXT SHE [Dinah] SENT [to Montoya]!

*Roman starts to break down*  Oh.  Shit.

OH THIS MUSIC

*Roman puts the mask on*  OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

OH THIS IS GREAT

Also of course Joker and Harley had a hideout in Amusement Mile

*winces when Montoya punches Harley right in the boob*

*Harley kicks Montoya out the window*  Oh she dead

*gasps*  Zsasz!

Man that sideways shot of him is terrifying!

OH FRICK NO

JESUS I DON’T LIKE THIS

So is it implied that Zsasz only kills women or what?  I thought he was an equal opportunity killer?

“That’s why he [Roman] needs me [Zsasz] to look after him.”  Dude.

...did they just kill Zsasz?

Everyone except Harley is pointing guns at each other and all I’m thinking of is that scene from “The Office”

*snorts in hilarity for Harley clapping for Helena completing her kill list*

Oh Roman just brought a whole freaking army

OHHHH HE’S GOT THE MASK

Oh this music *chef’s kiss*

Oh my God is Roman gonna find Zsasz’s body?

Oh that crane shot out of the lair and back outside?  That’s some good shit.  Cathy Yan, I see you.

“I [Helena] DON’T HAVE RAGE ISSUES!”  DINAH’S FACE!

*Helena pounces on a goon in the slide down and kills him*  Geez that’s awesome

This whole set is great

*Helena gives Cass her old toy truck*  THIS MAKES ME SAD

Yeah when did Harley have time to put on her skates?

Some dude just gets shanked then leaps back up

That fight scene just went by real quick

*gasps when Roman shoots Montoya*

*jaw drops when Dinah does the Canary Cry*

*Harley gets sideswiped by one of Roman’s goons*  Yeah no there’s like half a rib cage gone

*Harley works on overtaking one of Roman’s goons’ car*  CRAZY TOWN BEEP BEEP!

*Harley backflips onto the top of Roman’s car*  OHHHH!

Founders Pier... geez that looks great

Wait are those all Roman’s goons just lining the dock or are those just statues?

Oh they’re all statues.  That’s creepy.

“exCUUSEE me?!?”  *snorts in hilarity*

*jaw drops when Cass tucks a grenade in Roman’s coat and activates it*

*still shocked when he FREAKING EXPLODES*

I’M SORRY THEY JUST KILLED OFF BLACK MASK

*Cass finally goes to the bathroom*  Finally!

“Does she always [Montoya] talk like the cop in a bad 80s movie?”  *laughs*

Guys Helena is great

*laughs when Helena laughs at the fact that Harley stole Dinah’s car*

“They call themselves the Birds of Prey.”  Yay!  Lemme see them again!

Harley���s jacket has a bedazzled vagina on the back of it

Look at Cass with her jacket and sunglasses!

“Yeah, I made the kid my apprentice.”  Yeah, that’s not gonna last long.

[magicalgirlagency]

hmmm i wonder, just how many other characters are in your magical girl story? it sounds cool!

The main team, the Red Star Agency, is a team of 16 (17, including Thor) Magis. I know it’s too much, but I went along with that number of members because I wanted to spite Magical Girl Raising Project for saying that 10+ Magical Girls in the world was a valid excuse to murder them all in battle royales.

Like fuck you, Asari Endo. Observe as my team is as big as a K-Pop group and no one dies and everyone lives happily ever after.

Honey Witch Vivi: The leader of the team, a B-Rank Magi. 22 years old, pansexual/genderfluid, brazilian, autistic. Passionate, smart, idealistic, and occasionally the Mom Friend™. Despite being a leader, she sees her teammates as equals and wants to see them succeed. Basically, my self-insert. Is in a polyamorous relationship with other two Magis. Transformation trinket is a heart-shaped locket, her powers are light-based, and her assigned gemstone is Citrine. Weapon of choice is a strawberry quartz wand that can transform into a parasol. Her mascot is a Squirtle named Bubbles (she’s the only one who can understand what her mascot says).

Cupid Harpy Sally: Was once Vivi’s first mascot and dearly beloved childhood toy but later graduates into a Magi herself, a A-Rank Magi. 20 years old (in human years), asexual, wondarian. She’s also Vivi’s adoptive sister. Spunky, sassy, energetic, and sometimes naughty. True to her Magi Title, she can shapeshift her arms into wings. Transformation trinket is a heart-shaped hairclip, her powers are fire-based, and her assigned gemstone is Cherry Quartz. Weapon of choice is a lance (which she calls “Lovely Lance”), and a infinite set of Cherry Bombs.

Star Navigator Amelia: Vivi’s girlfriend (and her childhood friend, as well), a B-Rank Magi. 22 years old, bisexual, brazilian. Loyal, adventurous, mature, and calm. Her design is basically Sayaka Miki (from PMMM) if she didn’t snapped. Was once as Magi dropout due her depression, but got back to magic business thanks to Vivi’s help. Transformation trinket is a golden star medallion, her powers are water-based, and her assigned gemstone is Larimar. Weapon of choice is a rapier/espada ropera.

Pink Soldier Kiki: Vivi’s other girlfriend, a S-Rank Magi. 20 years old, pansexual/gender-neutral, japanese/brazilian, autistic. Creative, brave, charismatic, and bright. Heavily inspired on Kirby (specially on Star Allies), and is able to transform into many disguises and personas. Transformation trinket is a pair of pink bead bracelets, her powers are love-based, and her assigned gemstone is Tourmaline. Weapon of choice is a twirling baton (which it also acts as a stimming toy for her). Her “mascot” is a broomstick named Glinda, that once belonged to Vivi.

Wisp Rider Winona: A Kamen Rider afficionado, a A-Rank Magi. 21 years old, lesbian/non-binary, australian. Athletic, optimistic, clever and a bit of a joker. She has a strong connection with the Wisps (from Sonic Colors), and can emulate their hyper-go-on energy by shapeshifting into them. Transformation trinket is a star-shaped belt buckle, her powers are alien-based, and her assigned gemstone is Emerald. Weapon of choice is a golden hoop (which she calls “Power Ring”).

Cheerful Doll Delilah: A revolutionary doll, a B-Rank Magi. 19 years old, lesbian, wondarian. Elegant, sweet, sensitive, and a bit dramatic. Was a circus ballerina before she became a Magi, and rebelled against her manipulative boss. Has a crush on Winona, and looks up to her. Transformation trinket is a pair of poofy scrunchies (that she uses as bracelets), her powers are music-based, and her assigned gemstone is Rose Quartz.. Weapon of choice is a pair of cheerleader pompoms.

Tech Witch Donovan: A young techie and a ninja, a B-Rank Magi. 21 years old, asexual/biromantic, asian-american. Brainy, dexterous, wise, and introverted. Has a passion for everything that combines magic with technology and can tame demons. Is actually the reincarnation of 2k12!Donatello, after April killed him in the 100th episode. Transformation trinket is a turtle-shaped brooch, his powers are ninja/tech-based, and his assigned gemstone is Spirit Quartz. Weapon of choice is a metal bo staff. His mascots are the spirits of his brothers from another timeline (basically, they are Leo, Mike and Raph that all fell into a spiral of insanity and commited seppuku after Don and Splinter were murdered).

Frost Rabbot Nia: A magical android, a S-Rank Magi. 20 years old (in human years), asexual, wondarian. Logical, curious, intelligent, and a tactical genius. She’s a wondarian project designed to be the perfect Magi. Looks up to Donovan, and thinks of him as a older brother. She consumes Earth’s sci-fi media in order to study their mistakes, and fix them. Transformation trinket is a star-shaped core in her chest, her powers are ice-based, and her assigned gemstone is Sapphire. She has no weapon of choice, because her body is a weapon (not in a creepy and de-humanizing way, I promise!)

Quirky Rebel Nova: A energetic outsider, a A-Rank Magi (later to be promoted to S-Rank due to her awesome violent ways to exterminate Incubators). 21 years old, asexual/panromantic, currently wondarian. Impulsive, persistent, captivating, and a go-getter. She is in reality Star Butterfly, but she ran away from Mewni without leaving a trace, after learning her life was a lie (in the third season episode, The Butterfly Effect); she changes her name to Nova (as in Supernova), and has traveled throughout the Multiverse, training herself to learn magic without a wand. Can transform herself without a transformation trinket, her powers are chaos/wildcard-based, and her assigned gemstone is Fluorite. Weapon of choice is a pair of magic gloves/gauntlets (after giving up her wand). Her mascot is a Sableye named Glitter.

Devilish Clover Perci: A skillful archer, a S-Rank Magi. 22 years old, pansexual/trans, british. Stylish, outspoken, dauntless, and very friendly. One of the most popular Magis, specially due to her control over dark magic. She adopts Nova as her sister, and their personalities clash quite nicely. Transformation trinket is a peridot brooch, her powers are darkness-based, and her assigned gemstone is Sugilite. Weapon of choice is a magic bow (that was previously Nova’s wand).

Milky Angel Holly: A wild angel, a B-Rank Magi. 23 years old, pansexual, american. Unruly, rebellious, lively, and brutally honest at times. Was once one of the best Magis, but a certain happening in her life made her develop trust issues, and she became a delinquent. To get her attitude adjusted, she is assigned to the RSA. She’s designed after Panty Anarchy (from P&SwG), because I shamelessly liked her and I got salty about her sudden and out-of-the-blue “death”. Transformation trinket is a pair of golden hoop earrings, her powers are angel-based, and her assigned gemstone is Angel Aura Quartz. Weapon of choice is a light-molded musket and a halo that acts like a boomerang.

Pretty Punisher Aya: A recovering survivor, a C-Rank Magi. 19 years old, lesbian, japanese. Shy, gentle, soft-spoken, and always doing her best. She’s an alternative version of Asagiri Aya (from Mahou Shoujo Site) if she ever snapped at her bullies, abusive brother and neglective parents and actually have used her magic to kill them all. She becomes part of Wondaria’s rescuing and therapy program, that helps abused earthlings and offers them a chance in becoming Magis themselves. She is later assigned to the RSA to develop her powers better in a non-violent and zero percent toxic environment. She sees Holly as her upperclassman, and wishes to be as brave as her. Transformation trinket is not actually a trinket, but rather her heart tattoo on her left wrist, her powers are healing-based, and her assigned gemstone is Ruby. Weapon of choice is a heart-shaped pistol.

Demonic Witch Ace: A ruthless hero, a S-Rank Magi. 24 years old, pansexual, japanese. Strong, ill-tempered, fiery, but becomes a total dork once you know him better. Real name is Akira, Ace is just a nickname. He’s a half-Oni, cursed to be the successor of the Devilman name, and he has trust issues thanks to that. To everyone’s surprise, Vivi actually manages to break his shell and befriend him. Transformation trinket is a spiky bracelet, his powers are demon-based, and his assigned gemstone is Obsidian. Weapon of choice is a kanabo/iron mace. His mascot is a sizeshifting kitsune named Miki (while not a pokémon, he can understands what the little fox says).

Artsy Chameleon Enzo: A quirky street artist, a B-Rank Magi. 23 years old, pansexual/trans, italian. An artistic soul, always on the move, tricky, and unable to give fucks to anyone who dares to discriminate him. He was kicked out of his house after coming out to his parents, but later became a Magi so he could leave earth to live in Wondaria. He’s best friends with Perci, who’s also pan/trans. Transformation trinket is a leaf-shaped belt buckle, his powers are art/chameleon-based, and his assigned gemstone is Opal. Weapon of choice is a pink baseball bat.

Cursed Maestro Arthur: An anxious fortune-teller, a B-Rank Magi. 23 years old, asexual/polyromantic, filipino. Jittery, cautious, but hardworking and doing his best to become brave. He is the reincarnation of Arthur Kingsmen (from Mystery Skulls Animated), after Lewis killed him. He has the Hellbent Curse, where he becomes aware of how his past life came to an end. He has a crush on Ace, and wants to be as brave as him. Transfromation trinket is a orange bead bracelet, his powers are ghost/music-based, and his assigned gemstone is Japser. Weapon of choice is a conductor baton. His mascot is a Dedenne named Peanut and a scarf named Tempo.

Soul Genie Inka: A rebellious alien, a C-Rank Magi. Older than any human, asexual/non-binary, wondarian. Curious, smart, cheeky, and always eager to learn more about Earth culture. was previously a defective Incubator, who grew tired of stealing souls and spreading despair. Kiki was the only one who believed in them, and later became a Magi when things got tough for her. Transformation trinket is a drop-shaped garnet stone on their chest, their magic is genie/chaos-based, and their assigned gemstone is Pearl. Weapon of choice is their long ponytail.

Mighty Berserker Thor: A broken god, a S-Rank Magi. 24 years old (in human years), bisexual, wondarian (previously asgardian, but Asgard is no more). Approachable, a friend to all, awkward at times, and a tad bit salty (it comes with the trauma). Has yeeted himself of his world with the power of the Infinity Stones because he grew tired of being ridiculed and dealing with a constant streak of despair and death in his life. He was taken in by the RSA, and is treated with such care (which it scared him at first after spending five years in depression), but he eventually warms up to the team and finds once again a motivation to fight and protect. Transformation trinket is his prosthetic arm, his powers are lightning/weather-based, and his assigned gemstone is Sunstone. He has no weapon of choice (as originally intended!); he’s basically a giant living taser. His mascot is a pocket-sized imp that’s actually his brother Loki (he was punished due his past transgressions, and he HATES it).

…phew…! Here it is, the entire team assembled! It was hard, but I’ve had loads of fun with it honestly! It flatters me that you were interested in my dream plot, Anon!

[mobius-prime]

107. Knuckles the Echidna #16

Reunions

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Manny Galan Colors: Barry Grossman

So this one's a bit different from the other three-part arcs we've encountered in this comic so far. Instead of one arc spanning three issues, right now we're getting a standalone issue, followed by a two-part arc. Despite this, this issue does tie into the next two quite a bit, setting the stage for future stories and conflicts with lots and lots of talking. I know I've touched on this before but I have to say it again - while I do actually find the plot of this issue very interesting personally, I'm also cognizant of the fact that this was supposed to be a comic aimed at kids and young teens, a demographic that tends to enjoy humor, fast-paced action sequences, and a protagonist filled with 90's cool-guy sass. An issue that spends most of its time talking about family history, politics, and social issues, is not going to be as interesting to that demographic. This is ultimately Kenders' biggest problem, the fact that he's clearly very invested in his characters, family trees, and worldbuilding, but invests himself in it to a degree that it's no longer a kids' comic. I mean, sure, there was never anything wrong with taking the comic in a more serious direction, and in fact I will always argue that the comic benefited greatly from it as the slapstick humor got old quick, but I do think the seriousness should be focused more in areas of, say, dire threats to the heroes' world, characters' changing alliances and such, not the politidrama tone that Kenders shifts more and more into the longer this sister series goes on. Thus, while I am very fascinated by the plots and the talking and everything that Penders brings to the table here, I can also set aside my own preferences and recognize that this is probably not the place for it all.

But enough of that, onto the story! Knuckles has just returned home from his adventures and arrived at his mother's apartment, when Lara-Le herself arrives after attending church alone, because… sure? I dunno, I don't get the feeling that Auroriums have like, organized services, they seem more like a place where someone goes to pray alone quietly. She's delighted to see her son back home safe, and Wynmacher offers her some milk in a wine glass, which is honestly such a mood.

While she asks her son for details on how his trip went, we see an aircraft approach the Floating Island and dock in a hidden hangar. It turns out to be flown by one Grandfather Tobor, one of the many Guardians still alive and kicking. More show up to greet him, and while they prepare for their meeting we go back to Knuckles and Lara-Le's conversation. Understandably, Lara-Le is kind of incredulous at Knuckles' claim about arriving home after creating a golden energy tunnel, but Knuckles was hoping she might actually have some answers. And thus, she launches into the tale of his birth, back when she and Locke were still happily married. Apparently, it usually takes three days between the mother echidna birthing the egg, and the egg actually hatching, but Locke took the egg from her right after birth in the hospital, and a day later, Knuckles had come into the world. At first, everything seemed normal, until Knuckles started spelling out "SEGA STUD" with his baby blocks and generally didn't act like a toddler, being far too intelligent. Locke leapt on this opportunity, of course, and started putting him through rigorous education, even teaching him Einstein's Theory of Relativity despite Einstein not being even slightly relevant to the echidnas' society! Truly remarkable, I must say!

As one might expect, Lara-Le was feeling very put out that she had no real say in the upbringing of her son, so she went to Knuckles' grandmother Jenna-Lu, Locke's mother, to get some advice. Jenna-Lu bafflingly informed her that relationships shouldn't bother with silly notions like "equality" or "fairness," and told her to essentially just let Locke do his thing and passively act as a good example of moral behavior for Knuckles in the background. Lara-Le tried asking her then if she was even happy with how her own life turned out.

Look. This… I said in my own rules that I'm keeping my blog PG-13, which means I'm allowed exactly one F-bomb over the course of reviewing the preboot. I'm trying very hard not to use it up right this second. Lara-Le is a good person who was screwed royally out of a relationship with her own son because of ancient, outdated traditions that she had no say in. This poor woman. You could say that perhaps she should have expected this, because she did choose to marry Locke after all even knowing who he was and what such a thing might entail, but as we'll see, the situation isn't as clear-cut as that. I feel truly, terribly sorry for Knuckles' mother right now.

We take a bit of a break from hearing about Lara-Le's hardships in marriage and motherhood to see what the Brotherhood is up to. There's a lot of names here that we've never heard before that just get dumped on us all at once, so I'll try to summarize everyone really quick. You should already know who Locke and Sabre are. Tobor is the wrinkly, ancient brown guy with the Geordi-La-Forge-esque visor over his eyes. The purple one with crazy anime bangs is Thunderhawk, because of course that has to be his name. The one who's basically just Knuckles with a green vest and some head jewelry is Sojourner, and lastly, the black echidna with red eyes wearing some kind of weird space helmet is Spectre. Three guesses who the edgy one is here.

They start by dumping all their own personal problems onto each other, which ends up giving some very valuable insight into what exactly the surviving members of the Brotherhood do with their time. Apparently, each one just kind of watches over a certain area on the planet, making sure their little domain claims are safe and stable. Now we're getting into really creepy Illuminati territory, where this super secretive society watches over and manipulates events all around the globe from the shadows. Hilariously, Tobor, Thunderhawk and Sojourner all start ranting about how much of a nuisance Sonic and Tails have been as they traveled through each of their territories in turn, but Sabre finally shuts them up. Things have been rougher on them lately, because while Robotnik was a global terrorist and all, at the very least his ever-present threat loomed over everyone to the point that he and his regime were basically the only threats anyone ever had to deal with. Now, with Robotnik gone, a huge power vacuum has opened up, and a bunch of his old sub-bosses are warring over various bits of territory across the planet, ironically causing even more chaos than before. The various Guardians are having trouble dealing with the situation, and decide to call on the council of fire ants who were apparently just listening in from another room and chilling the entire time. Presumably these guys are kind of like a miniature Brotherhood of their own, consisting of the fire ant advisors to all the previous Guardians - Archimedes, his father Semper Fidelis (are you sensing a pretentious pattern here with the fire ants' names?), and grandfather Deo Volente.

Semper Fidelis suggests that the Brotherhood, if they simply carry on as they always have, will only ensure that echidnas become irrelevant in the grand scheme of things - but that if they instead rise up and take control, that they can "lead the echidnas and the other species on this planet into a new golden age." Gee, that doesn't sound shady and supervillainy as hell! This literally is just the Mobius Illuminati, isn't it?

Back in Lara-Le's apartment, Wynmacher has just finished cooking dinner. Knuckles is confused as to what it is, as it appears to be just a fancily-garnished mound of brown crumbly… stuff, and Wynmacher tells him it's "canard á la exquisite," which is just French for "fancy duck." Dunno why he couldn't have just told Knuckles that in the first place, but then again, they may have French-ified it precisely because we have at least one recurring character in this comic that is a duck, and they wanted to avoid any uncomfortable cannibalistic implications. As they sit down to eat, Lara-Le and Wynmacher decide to announce something special!

…well, that backfired. Honestly, I'm not sure why Knuckles is so upset here though. He's just barely getting to know his mom again after like thirteen years away from her, and he already knew, I'm assuming, that she and Locke were no longer together. Furthermore, it was obvious to anyone who looked at Lara-Le and Wynmacher for longer than two seconds that they were in a relationship. I get that remarriage to a new stepparent can be hard on a kid, and that everyone handles these things differently, but seriously, why the freakout, man?

Well, whatever the specific reason, Knuckles is upset, and as he runs out the doors of his mother's apartment building he happens to run past Julie-Su and the rest of the Chaotix (minus Charmy, of course). He ignores them as they call after him, and Vector wants to go after him, but Julie-Su heads him off.

As Julie-Su rushes off to find Knuckles, we head back to the Brotherhood. They decide to set aside Semper Fidelis' advice for the time being to focus on speaking about Knuckles, specifically the unprecedented energy tunnel power that led him home. Thunderhawk and Sojourner want to dismiss it as the Guardian version of hitting puberty, essentially, but Spectre speaks up for the first time to angrily call out Locke for "tampering with the natural order."

Well, that settles it then. It was already implied by Lara-Le that Locke may have done something to Knuckles' egg right before it hatched, but Spectre's basically confirmed it. But what did he do, exactly? We'll have to shelve that for now, as Julie-Su catches up with Knuckles sitting on a dock looking out at the water. He tries to get her to go away, but she ignores him as expected and sits next to him. Then, unexpectedly, she gives him a quick peck on the cheek. He's outraged, rubbing the kiss off his cheek like a child, but she claims she's merely returning the favor from when he tried to cheer her up after she left the Dark Legion.

Young love! Or at least, teenage crushes! Come on, Julie-Su, you know the reason why - hormones! It's no surprise that these two are being set up together - you could see it coming a mile away, back when she was first introduced. The only question now is how Penders handles a slow burn… how graceful do you suppose it'll be? High hopes, anyone? I really shouldn’t be so hard on him, given that I actually quite like this ship, but I just can’t help making fun of the guy sometimes.

[sailor-cresselia]

Zi-O 44: A Wild Plot Appeared!

Watched live. Had a lot of lag while it streamed. Very little idea what I’m getting into re: plot because I couldn’t understand.

Let’s do this.

––

We open with some rando track athlete losing a race because he tripped… and getting. Surrounded by a bubble version of Decade’s Dimensional Walls… Well then. That can’t be good.

Even worse is that he turns out to have been one of Sougo’s high school classmates, named Nishimura. Coincidence? Mayhaps. But he’s one of multiple people who’ve recently disappeared.

Geiz, naturally, blames the Time Jackers. He’s incredibly valid in that, as Woz agrees. After all, Swartz did just steal both Tsukuyomi’s and Tsukasa’s powers. Painfully on both counts. You know, because we really needed to see said power stealing again. Which we did. Because I definitely wanted to see Tsukuyomi screaming in pain and Tsukasa dropping to the ground again.

Junichiro, bringing out breakfast, mentions that Tsukuyomi hasn’t gotten up yet… and Sougo says that he hasn’t seen her since last night.

––

Okay, so. Serious question time. How long has passed since the last two arcs? Because the Den-O tribute was one day, June 9 or so, and led directly into the Another Zi-O II arc, which was… the first episode was June 30 and ran until July 14. Now, normally, every arc is two episodes or so – some of the plot arcs have been three. Each story is usually one, maybe two days, and they have two weeks of downtime between arcs. We just had two arcs take five weeks. So, ostensibly, it could be June 10 in-universe. This is why timelines for shows get confusing, and seasons of Kamen Rider usually end in-universe at least a month before the final episode airs.

Please let there be a time skip during this episode. I watched raw, but I couldn’t tell how much time goes by.

Alright, serious plot and chronology wondering aside. Sougo says he hasn’t seen Tsukuyomi since last night, and everything begins to shake. The three Riders run outside.

––

…That. That sure looks like a black hole. Or a wormhole. Neither is exactly unprecedented.

Oooh, and a big ol’ circle opens up, with circuitry patterns racing up. Wormhole it is. With a very blue-and-white Time Mazine dropping down out of it.

According to Woz, it’s an early model, from the 2050’s. So, good continuity nod. I mean, the title alone made it clear that Kamen Rider Aqua was showing up, even if the previews hadn’t shown him. And Aqua’s single appearance was in “Kamen Rider × Kamen Rider Fourze & OOO: Movie War Mega Max”, which I will be referring to as “Mega Max” because movie titles in this franchise are too danged long.

In Mega Max, Miharu Minato was said to be from ‘40 years in the future,’ aka about the year 2050.

And here he is! The good water boy! I mean, I’m not found of his armor – never have been – but his concept was always cool. He draws from the OG Showa riders using power from wind to transform, except in his case, he uses water. All we need now is someone to use earth in an old-school Showa Style belt and we’ll have a complete set! (No, I’m not forgetting fire. It’s implied in ‘Kamen Rider 1’, the Ghost spring movie, that Hongo can now use wind and/or fire for his transformation. Area cyborg is basically a literal phoenix.)

Turns out, the best water boy is here to bring Geiz and Tsukuyomi back… to… the future… Huh. Geiz has no idea who he is, so that’s interesting. He also has no idea why Miharu’d be bringing him back.

Cue Woz pausing time to narrate-

Wait hold on.

If the time powers are an inherent ability that Tsukuyomi and Swartz’s family have, and Heure and Hora got their time powers from Swartz… then where did Woz get his? We know he can at least manipulate time to some degree – not just for the recaps, but if I remember correctly, he’s been shown to at least be able to cancel out time stops.

Woz, whomst the heck are you?!

Okay, I’m just going to put that on the back burner for now and keep going.

––

Woz’s recap today shows the clock advancing again. And, I mean, it’s always at least been ticking in the background in his recap vault, but we don’t usually see the hands move. It always feels really ominous when they do that…

Basically, Woz says that Sougo has met many Legends, and taken their powers for his own. However, the enemy has effectively been doing the same. Now, Sougo’s journey is leading to the final battle.

We’ve only got a little over a month left, folks. Zero One starts September 1. That gives us… 6 episodes, including this one, and the Over Quartzer movie. …We don’t have time for this. Why were the ‘future riders’ necessary?! We could have gotten more plot back then, instead of how Shinobi and Quiz were basically filler! Okay, so Shinobi did establish Sougo’s future dreams, and Kikai established a little more of both Sougo’s backstory and powers… although I don’t think we’ve seen the dream thing since, so it winds up being a moot point anyway.

Hmph.

––

I absolutely love the Zi-O opening. Over Quartzer is a great song, and the sequence has actually bothered to update. My issue with Ex-Aid and Build’s opening sequences is that they just. Didn’t. The home releases included the actual sequences, as opposed to the movie-promotion versions that were in the aired episodes. But it made it apparent that they never finished updating them. Ex-Aid never included Taddle Legacy – the final form for the advertised Secondary Rider. (I still say that Taiga’s clearly the actual secondary plot and development wise, and Kiriya’s the secondary motivation wise. Hiiro is just there.) Build never updated with Cross-Z Magma, either. That opening kept freaking Cross-Z Charge through the end, even though he stopped using it like halfway through the show. You know. The form for the other Main Character. (Sento and Ryuuga are co-leads – they share the Main Rider spot, and you will never convince me otherwise.) Incidentally, Wizard never updated to include Beast Hyper… OR INFINITY. No, it kept the All Dragon form through the OP for the rest of the show after it’s debut, instead of. You know. The Main Rider’s ACTUAL FINAL FORM.

Yes, I’m bitter about that. If you’re going to do an updating opening sequence, then you ought to keep updating it!

Like, most of the phase two seasons are fine – they either didn’t make major changes to the sequence at all, as in OOO and Gaim, only minor changes when new Riders came in, aka Accel joining W, or kept up with the changes. That’s your Fourze, Drive, and Ghost. But Wizard, Ex-Aid, and Build didn’t.

Zi-O has! Each of Sougo’s new forms came and went – except Decade, I think, but that was more just a different Legend Rider power than an actual new form in itself. Zi-O II, Trinity, and Grand have all replaced each other as the show’s progressed. Geiz has always been in, and eventually got upgraded to Geiz Revive. When Hat Woz showed up, Kamen Rider Woz entered the sequence, and Scarf Woz eventually took over – his spot now shows Ginga’s three variants.

So yeah! The Zi-O opening’s done a way better job than the last two.

––

Heure’s running, but we don’t know from what. Or from who. Who seems to be a more likely option, seeing as he’s been deemed unnecessary by his boss.

Although, we can get a pretty good clue as to the ‘who’ as he climbs a set of stairs – because everything gets very slow.

It’s Slowdown.

Time for Another Drive.

Another Drive’s design is pretty neat! Roidmudes had… well, they had finger guns. There’s no way around phrasing it that way, they had finger guns, not unlike Deneb’s. Drive had a gun that was based on a car door.

Guess what Another Drive has on their arm. Go on, guess.

…Okay, it’s a car door. A car door with ‘keep out’ tape on it, which is hilarious. And – ohhhhh I couldn’t see this in the raw, but Another Drive’s ‘belt’? It’s a dashboard panel, the bit with the gauges. There’s a wheel hub sticking out of their shoulder, y’know, the part a tire attaches to. This is nice.

We waited literally the entire season for Another Drive and this beautiful literal car wreck was worth it.

Oh-hohoho and the face underneath what would be the helmet looks like a Roidmudes basic form, which is a great touch. Especially as a nod to the fact that Proto-Drive, the person partnered with Krim before Shinnosuke, was, himself, a Roidmude. This is a continuity nod in more ways than one, actually. The Drive and Mach equipment could still produce slowdown. Shinnosuke never did it, because he never would, and Gou only did it once, in his first arc. But they were able to…

And Another Drive can produce Slowdown in a Roidmude manner. The Another Riders are copies of their season’s enemies, after all.

With someone who can slow down the movement speed of everything around them…

It only stands to reason that they could cancel out Heure’s time stop.

In a COMPLETELY TERRIFYING MANNER, by the way! As in, Heure freezes Another Drive when they go to punch him, and runs off. Another Drive is still stopped for a moment…

Before their headlight eyes light up, and their mouth opens in a sort of a roar. One eye is white – the one that still has the headlight lens – and the other is red – presumably a busted taillight.

ALSO I’M NOT KIDDING ANOTHER DRIVE’S MOUTH ACTUALLY OPENS AS THEY BREAK THE FREEZE.

Facial articulation, be it CG or practical, is creepy. We had it with Another Build, and now we’ve got it with Another Drive. …Oh. And those are the first and last standard MOTW Another Riders. I mean, this is technically 19 down, Decade to go, but. Well. Decade.

––

Having made his escape, Heure runs to Hora, where they’ve presumably been hiding since Swartz pulled his ‘you have outlived your usefulness’ card. Hora’s surprised that an Another Rider would be chasing Heure. After all, Zi-O’s already got Grand Zi-O, so he should have all of the powers already. Why would there be an Another Rider at all? Heure suggests that it’s here to take the two of them out. Which, yeah, seems pretty likely. Swartz isn’t usually one to do his own dirty work.

Hora’s powers were taken from her, so what could Heure possibly do?

Hora, dear, I need you to stop putting Heure down constantly. Yes, he’s younger than you. Yes, he’s a little troll. Yes, he definitely should have booked it out of there after Swartz and yourself forced him into being Another Kikai. But he’s still good at this.

––

Back to 9-to-5, where Miharu’s saying that it’s a bad idea to interfere in the past, so he’s here to bring Geiz and Tsukuyomi back to the future. Geiz looks like he hadn’t even thought of that happening. In his defense, I’m pretty sure Geiz just sort of assumed he wouldn’t exist anymore after taking out Sougo before he could become Oma Zi-O, given that neither he or Tsukuyomi had an answer to the ‘and then what’ question.

Also, Miharu isn’t exactly one to talk about interfering in the past, given that he debuted via time travel last time. In his defense, it wasn’t exactly voluntary, and he was a bit ‘possessed’ at the time via a distinct overload of Core Medals.

…So, Aqua is in Woz’s book, but Geiz wasn’t? That’s just rude to the soldier boy. Although, all Wozes seem to be chronic liars, so he may have just been pulling one over. (More on ‘All Wozes Lie’ later.) But the book gives us a glimpse back at Mega Max – specifically; Miharu, his appearance as Aqua, and the shot of him leaving on his jetski into a time vortex identical to the one from earlier in the episode. That one has back-shots of the main OOO cast, because it’s archival footage. It’s nice to get that reminder that there were more characters in OOO than the Main Trio of Eiji, Ankh, and Hina. Date, Gotou, and Satonaka are all there, too, in their ass-kicking gear. (Toei please bring Ankh back we are begging you this movie was such a tease because that Ankh was from the future and disappeared immediately after this shot to go follow Miharu back and you are breaking my heart by reminding me of that and yes I am intentionally breaking everyone else’s hearts by reminding all of you of that so BLAME TOEI FOR NOT BRINGING ANKH BACK.)

So, yeah, Miharu acknowledges his own time travel incident, saying that he’s met past riders, too, and they shaped who he is. (Eiji I miss you!) But what Geiz is doing is different – he’s actively changing the past. Geiz says that’s what Swartz is doing, not him. But really, Miharu has a point. Both teams are basically just doing what they want. At this point, Team Zi-O is doing it out of necessity – they’re a bit stuck in this path, since it’s not like Swartz was going to stop, and would you want to leave Sougo as the only one fighting around here? No! No, you would not!

Geiz is pissed, as he is prone to being, when he gets compared to Swartz, and grabs Miharu by the jacket. All it takes is Sougo calling his name and a single shake of his head to get Geiz to let go.

Geiz please the Tsun-tsun act isn’t fooling anyone at this point. You like Sougo. I mean, I kind of ship it, but time travel plots make shipping a difficult task, so at least admit that you’re friends. Or, you know, use Sougo’s name. It’s been 44 episodes, and you’ve called him by name once.

…Oh no what if they’re saving that for when the time travelers are leaving for good. Because that’s almost definitely what’s going to happen at the end – they’re not going to be able to stay in 2019. They just… can’t. Causality won’t allow it, I’m certain. What if they’re saving Geiz finally calling Sougo by name, maybe even with a smile, for when he has to say goodbye.

Whoops I went and made everything sad.

Miharu also has something he’d like to talk to Tsukuyomi about.

Sougo: Where is she, anyway?

Seriously, how much time has passed?

––

Ah, here’s Tsukuyomi! And Tsukasa! They’re in the rain, on some sort of pedestrian bridge, which looks familiar for reasons I can’t quite place. I love that Tsukasa’s umbrella handle matches his outfit perfectly – it’s half the same black as his suit, and half magenta. Nice.

But anyway, she wants answers. Did he know that Swartz was her brother or not?

Turns out he’d figured it out, but not long before the others. When was the last time we saw him again? Because that was when he and Tsukuyomi went to her childhood home… Oh, right. That was Kabuto Arc, which… was the one right before Den-O. That would be about May 26, and since we’ve established that Den-O was June 9… if we assume that we’re still early June via episode-based time differences, he’s known for at most two weeks.

Tsukasa’s not lying, exactly, when he says that he and Tsukuyomi are the same, in that neither of them are from this world. He’s just not mentioning the assorted other ways. The innate spacial-distortion powers. The sibling with a variant on the same powers. The amnesia. Aforementioned sibling being jealous of them, and turning dark. The leadership role. Admittedly, I can’t exactly blame Tsukasa for not acknowledging his days as Great Leader Tsukasa, because it’s not exactly going to help his case right now.

Anyway, Tsukasa says that he wasn’t originally from this world, and that he came here to look into the space-time distortions. Tsukuyomi assumes he’s accusing Swartz – who is very definitely to blame – but Tsukasa is ‘leaning towards it being the Overlord’s fault,’ saying that Swartz is using it to his advantage. Which… isn’t wrong, exactly, Sougo’s definitely being used by Swartz just as much as everyone else has been, but it’s hardly fair to say it’s his fault. …Aside from the fact I don’t think Tsukasa has used Sougo’s name, either. Always ‘Maou.’ Always ‘Overlord.’ Almost as if the Overlord might not be Sougo.

And if it’s Swartz under the helmet, pulling the strings and, say, having swapped out for Older Sougo when they ‘saw’ Oma Zi-O transform when they met…

After all. We never actually saw Oma Zi-O transform. It was obscured by the explosions from Sougo’s attack.

Back to the show.

I was lying when I said I couldn’t place the bridge. I was pretty sure, but I didn’t want to say anything until I was certain. There was a whole lot of lag when I watched live, so I couldn’t be positive. But this is the same bridge that Tsukasa and Tsukuyomi were on when they watched what happened to Sougo after the bus ‘accident’, when Swartz did something to him. We still don’t know exactly what, but that purple light looks an awful lot like what he used on Daiki and Hora a few episodes ago. Not quite like what he did to Tsukuyomi, though – that was a little different, but I can’t put it into words.

According to Tsukasa, it’ll all become clear soon enough… that is, it’ll become clear whether or not he’ll destroy this world. Tsukasa, please, we all know you don’t know jack of what’s going on here, and that you weren’t actively destroying the worlds. That was just a side effect of something that was never made clear, some biology thing or power leakage or something like that. Narutaki’s just a tool who never explained anything, least of all what was going on. And it was implied that the whole… thing that happened W & Decade fixed that little… issue.

(Kamen Rider needs to stop with people getting stabbed, because I’m never okay with it, even watching things again, because it’s not okay and I’m pretty sure someone’s just into it or something on production staff. Like, I get it, a lot of people have swords, but that doesn’t mean they have to be used like that!)

Okay, Decade lore discussion being put off to the side…

According to Tsukasa, it’ll all become clear soon enough… that is, it’ll become clear whether or not he’ll destroy this world. But Tsukuyomi protests that – not because of the whole ‘why the heck would you do that’ aspect that most people would give, but because he’s had his powers taken. He says that doesn’t really matter. I mean, for all we know, the world thing wasn’t because he was Decade at all. He could go between worlds as a child, although he needed someone else to open the walls back then. Namely, his younger sister. Oh, look, the similarity thing comes back with his sister, who took over Dai Shocker from him. He could go through the walls she made, but she couldn’t, and she became bitter because of that. Sounds a little familiar, eh?

(See how I brought that back around? I said ‘off to the side.’)

Tsukasa, however, thinks that his power deal doesn’t matter right now. Tsukuyomi is a much bigger deal – just the fact that she’s here is a time distortion in and of itself. Neither of the two of them are supposed to be here.

––

Junichiro wants to know if it’s black tea that that one lady friend likes. This confuses the heck out of the three Team Zi-O boys – what lady friend? They haven’t had any women come, due to the overall lack of female characters in Rider except… for…

All three run out of the dining room, to find Heure and Hora in the main shop.

Heure’s asking for refuge, but Hora doesn’t seem to have realized that was his plan. But really, Sougo did promise to defeat Swartz, so it’ll just be for a little while, until then.

Geiz is basically all ‘Nope, not having this, you’ve made our lives hell, get out.’

But Sougo stops him, with a very good point. He’s being rash. After all, they’re not so different from him.

I’m pretty sure that Sougo’s not referring to the time-meddling that Miharu was talking about. I’m pretty sure it’s that they have nowhere else to reasonably go.

Sougo is such a good lad.

––

And then there’s a short scene with Junichiro… having conscripted Woz and Hora into making what appears to be okonomiyaki? Sure, why not. Also, he’s chastising Miharu for using a knife and fork to eat his. Hora wants to know why she has to be the one to do this. She didn’t even want to be here! Where the heck did Heure go?!

––

Heure and Sougo are overlooking the river.

Also FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. It’s evening now… on the SAME DAY WE STARTED THE EPISODE. I was hoping there was a time skip somewhere in here, between them taking Heure and Hora in and the okonomiyaki scene, but NOPE! Junichiro and Sougo are wearing the same shirts!

Anyway, this is a really touching scene. Heure’s kind of broken right now. He’d thought he could do anything, and looked down on everyone else, including Sougo and co. But it was all just a lie, wasn’t it? He and Hora, they were just being used, weren’t they? And now here they are, the time jackers looking for help from the person they were trying to dethrone.

Sougo says that it’s okay. After all, they’re working together now, aren’t they?

Heure thinks Sougo is either a complete idiot… or really does have what it takes to rule. Because they were bitter enemies, and now he’s helping them. Now he’s accepting them. Why would he ever do that?

Well, as Sougo says, it’s not that he’ll forgive them for hurting people – for hurting his subjects. But they were just trying to make a future in their own way, and he can understand that, at least.

According to Heure, it wasn’t even that in the end. He and Hora were just pawns, both brought here… from… different time periods. By Swartz.

Huh.

Sougo pauses, while Heure looks away. Maybe he was wrong, that the former Time Jackers and Geiz weren’t quite alike. Geiz has somewhere to call home, and they don’t.

They didn’t.

They live with him now. It’s not like Junichiro’s going to turn them away – he’s way too nice, too. So, let’s go help him out!

Heure, shocked that Sougo’s being so stinking nice, gets basically dragged off by Sougo, who’s wrapped an arm around his shoulder and is running off, ignoring Heure’s sputtered protests all the while.

Geiz watches from the bridge up above.

––

We come to a track meet. The same one we opened at. Nishimura doesn’t trip this time. He wins the race.

The faces of everyone else present are blank – in a censored manner, a skintone oval covering them, with little sparks of time-static every now and then.

Nishimura is estactic at having won.

Swartz is in the center of the track circle, watching, and saying that ‘this is his world’. His meaning Nishimura, not Swartz, for the record. I just can’t quite phrase it right. He’s speaking as if talking to Nishimura, but he’s not actually talking directly to him, just doing one of those observation things.

––

Back at 9-to-5, Geiz is on that couch in the dining room, pondering things, such as Miharu saying that ‘they can’t just keep changing time, so he’s here to bring them back’ and Sougo saying that Geiz has a home. He says Tsukuyomi’s name. It sounds like she still hasn’t come back yet.

Heure runs in, distressed.

Hora’s gone.

Sougo and Miharu – who, apparently, is also staying here for the time being – run downstairs, as Heure takes off, wondering what Hora could be thinking.

This house is getting crowded.

At least Sougo’s in a different shirt, and it’s daytime now, showing that we’ve had at least one day go by. So, that’s something, anyway.

––

Heure’s searching, panicked and panting. Where could she be? He sees her out of the corner of his eye, walking past him and out of side.

He turns around…

And Another Drive is there.

I didn’t notice this before, but the missing headlight lens? That’s sort of stuck on Another Drives jaw. It’s weird and I like it – Another Drive is, as I said, quite literally a mangled car wreck version of Drive, all dented and crunched metal, with visible wires and underbody elements. This is such a good design.

Panicked, Heure tries to run – he likely already knows that his time stopping isn’t going to be very effective, he probably saw from a distance that Another Drive can break out.  Blaster shots impact on the door-arm. Tsukuyomi’s finally shown up, Faiz Phone X armed and ready.

Tsukuyomi tells Huere to run, and he books it out of there. She’s ready to keep fighting – and Miharu steps in front of her.

“You’re Tsukuyomi, right?” Another Drive’s advancing, and Miharu is starting to panic. “Ah, uh, hang on! I have to get these out-” He. He pulls out a pair of patterened boxers.

EIJI. Eiji you have never been a good influence. I mean, you’re a good influence in some ways, but also a terrible one in others.

Okay, for context on why Miharu would be calling a pair of colored boxers his ‘Brave Briefs,’ we have to go back to 2011, during Mega Max. (For the record, I can’t wait to see how O-T and TV-N translate that. I know that it’s basically a literal translation, but I just wonder what spins they’ll put on it.)

You see, Miharu is from 2050. He transforms using the power of water.

He is afraid of water. (Ankh, who is a literal fire bird and thus probably has no right to talk, thought this was hilarious. He got a t-shirt thrown over his head to shut him up.)

Eiji, being Eiji, told Miharu that he just has to do what he can today in order to see tomorrow. He’ll be fine as long as he has a good outlook and underwear for tomorrow. He also, helpfully, gives Miharu a package of new boxers, all in very eiji-like colors.

One of these is what Miharu has just pulled out. This is ridiculous and I love it. I also love the little guitar riff version of the old TaToBa jingle from OOO when he pulls them out to freaking look at them and gather his courage, and the medal coin-flip sound effect when he’s gotten said courage and starts to transform. And then he uses a very Showa-style pose as he transforms, with the same sound effect, or at least a very similar one, to Ichigo’s Typhoon belt, when his Aqua Driver activates.

Sougo and Geiz arrive on scene, and Geiz is confused as to why there’s an Another Drive at all. They’ve already gotten all of the watches, haven’t they?

Ah, right, Sougo probably hasn’t had a chance to tell them that summoning Drive didn’t quite work when he was in the future. He reminds Geiz now, anyway, that they technically haven’t actually obtained the Drive watch. Geiz admits, that’s fair, they kind of don’t have the correct Drive watch.

Time For Grand and Revive Typhoon!

Aqua is very, very confused. “This is Zi-O? Oh, man, time has changed way too much!” He’s just stuck watching as the guys have basically elbowed him out of the fight against Another Drive, and asks if he can just leave it to them. They barely even answer him, just basically telling him to go do whatever. So, he basically just takes Tsukuyomi and runs.

And then Another Drive summons a whole bunch of duplicates of Midnight Shadow’s and a few of Max Flare’s tires and whoops, now I’m really missing the Shift Cars.

––

Quick cut to Miharu and Tsukuyomi, where he tells her he’s come to pick her up from the future.

––

Back to the fight, where it turns out that even Revive Typhoon can not stand against Slowdown. Geiz is still moving faster than most people, but he’s still not making any progress.

Also the door is still a gun.

Suddenly, as Another Drive is about to beat the tar out of Geiz, who’s still stuck in slowdown, it’s Another Drive who’s frozen. Turns out that Heure’s not fond of being rescued, or maybe just not fond of owing.

Another Drive breaks out of being stopped just in time to be hit by Geiz’s finisher and one from Grand Zi-O’s use of the Steering Sword.

Hora stands up from the flames.

––

With Miharu and Tsukuyomi, we get some lore. Tsukuyomi’s family apparently ‘rules over time.’ Since she’s from the future where he exists, her being here is locking Sougo into the future where he becomes Oma Zi-O. You know, the thing she’s been trying to prevent.

Her and ‘her brother’ absolutely should not be in this reality – they’re from a different one, and as per what Tsukasa said, them being here is a distortion in and of itself.

Interestingly, Miharu is here to take Tsukuyomi and Geiz back to the future. I can’t tell, but I think that he thinks they’re siblings. WHICH HOO BOY PLEASE DO NOT.

It’s her and her powers he has to bring back most of all – but that’s going to be a little difficult. Swartz – her brother – stole her powers after all.

Miharu is very, very confused again.

––

Hora doesn’t answer when Heure asks what’s going on, just turns and walks away… as Swartz walks up.

He’s going on about how Heure’s been naughty, and asks what on earth Sougo – a pale imitation of Oma Zi-O – can do against him. And then he says that he’ll show them all the power he’s obtained.

Swartz pulls out a watch, and puts it against his chest.

Introducing: Another Decade.

I don’t have much to say about Another Decade’s design, honestly. It’s not exactly that great, just… y’know, a basic Corrupted Rider design. …Why does he have teeth? Like, regular bared teeth? And why is the driver basically a mouth? The green bits on the sides of his head – those are the lenses on the mask, just extended out – and they glow, too, along with the actual eyes.

Actually, he has the Decade transformation sound effects playing underneath the Another Rider transformation, doesn’t he, to go along with the cards flipping away and back over onto him from Decade, and the sort of after-images fading off in the distance as the transformation completes.

…Okay, I guess I had some things to say, after all.

Swartz – Another Decade – you know what, I’m just gonna call him Swartz, because it’s a little shorter. Swartz opens a dimension wall, and moves himself, Sougo, and Geiz to what looks like the same quarry from the Rider War, all the way back in Decade. It’s doing pretty well, honestly. It’s got some nice greenery coming in.

Well, up until Swartz started setting off all of those explosions, anyway.

Then, because apparently they were being too boring to fight, despite his having just set off no fewer than seven explosions, he decides to summon up some Dark Movie-Exclusive Riders.

Everyone, say hello to G4, Fuma, Dark Ghost, and Rey, from Agito, Ex-Aid, Ghost, and Kiva respectively.

All of whom are doing a pretty good job of beating up Grand Zi-O and Geiz Revive Typhoon.

And then G4 feels the need to pull out a MISSILE LAUNCHER. Wh- Where did he pull that from!? Why does he HAVE that?! What was going ON in Agito’s movie?!

We end the episode with our boys getting blasted by, I feel the need to emphasis, LITERAL MISSILES.

––

As for the preview, it opens with Aqua versus ETERNAL. You know. The guy from the W summer movie. Who, like several people we’ve met this season, is supposed to be very, very dead.

And it’s not even just a summoned version of him, either. It’s straight up Kasumi Daido. In person. Somehow. Thanks Swartz it’s not like this guy isn’t off his rocker at all. It’s not like he was willing to kill the entire city of Fuuto just to see if any of them would wind up in his weird undead state. Not like he was going to use Philip as a conduit for the program to do it or anything. Nooooo, not at allllll.

FFS we could have had proper Double rep, and you give us him.

We’ve also got shots of Another Decade holding Tsukuyomi up by the neck, and Heure looking very very injured while being cradled by Sougo. KID YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT A LONG TIME AGO!

The second to last shot is Grand Zi-O and Drive punching Another Drive… while moving in the exact same manner. As if one is just mirroring the other. …Dang it, it’s not actually Shinnosuke in there, is it? We’re just dealing with the same thing as Decade Complete, where he summons a copy of the Rider and they attack simultaneously, with the summon just copying his movements.

The last shot… is Geiz, silhouetted against the window of 9-to-5. Saying “Let’s go back to our timeline.”

––

Okay, so… @Miyukomatsuda and I were talking earlier – we watched the livestream together, and earlier tonight we got to talking… and. Uh. So, Swartz can pull people out of other timelines and realities, yeah? Because that’s what he’s done with multiple people. That one athlete in this ep, and now we find out both Heure and Hora, and, of course, he dropped Tsukuyomi into the Oma Zi-O timeline. Which… may not be the original timeline.

But there’s another timeline involved in all of this, too. Or so we’ve been lead to believe. See, one idea in an AU that Miyuko had was having Hat Woz pulling her characters AR counterparts out of their worlds and dumping them in the main line.

Turns out she just had the wrong guy… the guy who I then suddenly remembered something about.

––

Miyuko: I WAS FUCKING SO CLOSE

Miyuko: I HAD THE WRONG BASTARD

Cressy: Y'know. the guy who called Swartz 'sir swartz' OH SHIT HAT WOZ IS THE WOZ FROM SWARTZ AND TSUKU'S TIMELINE

Miyuko: BUT HE FADED AWAY

Cressy: IRRELEVANT

Miyuko: BECAUSE REVIVE DIDN'T HAPPEN

Miyuko: oh GOD

Cressy: GOT YANKED OUT BY SWARTZ. REVIVE WAS A PLOY

Miyuko: FEAR

Cressy: JUST LIKE CHOOSING A KING

Miyuko: HE LIED

Miyuko: WE KNOW ALL WOZ'S LIE

Cressy: I MEAN HE DID SAY "NOT NECCESARILY SALVATION FOR EVERYONE"

Cressy: oh shit 'a peace like time has stopped.' aka swartz and tsuku's main power

Miyuko: HOLY SHIT

Miyuko: ZI-O if you bring back hat woz

Miyuko: also so. Swartz's just spiriting away people huh

Miyuko: i uh like none of this

Cressy: i mean we never DID find out if Tsukasa and Daiki are summoning duplicates or the riders themselves

Cressy: so whomst the hell knows

Cressy: we're fairly certain SOUGO'S yoinking the actual riders, so Another Decade could really be going either way

Miyuko: Yeah

Miyuko: Eternal is apparently the real dude

Cressy: THIS IS FINE

(see, told you i’d get back to ‘all wozes lie’ at the end.)

[cuttoothed]

CONVERSATIONS IN A FRAGILE LANGUAGE FOR THE FIC ASK MEME, ive reread that one so many times you have no idea tooth

Conversations In A Fragile Language

This is a tough one, because I’ve forgotten a lot of the details, and while I occasionally read my own fic, this isn’t one I’ve gone back to. So apologies if this is a bit scattered.

The initial idea I had for this was the very first scene, with Jon “running away from home” and Martin intercepting him. The idea of him setting a fire as a diversion came later, which admittedly raises some problems, considering his reaction to burning Gerry’s page, but who really cares about consistency with canon anyway right??? I sort of tried to retrofit it later that he hadn’t destroyed anything important, but I’ll freely admit that was a cop out.

The second idea I had was Martin killing Jon to prevent the Watcher’s Crown. Everything else in the story served to connect those two points, so of course it naturally had to be a “stopping the Watcher’s Crown” story. However it was pretty vaguely sketched out, which I think really shows, especially in the earlier chapters. There were a couple of plot threads (like the book they pick up early on) that I had intended to go further with, but which ended up taking a back seat to the Webbier aspects. (The book does get referenced briefly again when Jon takes a statement from a guy in Longyearbyen, as a nod to what I originally intended.)

Speaking of Jon taking statements, I’m going to take this opportunity to be publicly pleased about the fact that I wrote Jon recognizing random people on the street with statements and just taking them, before it happened in canon. I’ve never predicted anything correctly in this series, but damn it, at least I got one horrible detail accidentally correct! My version is a bit less creepy, admittedly, as in this timeline he doesn’t know about how the dreams affect people (though he does begin to suspect), but I’m still quite proud of myself for using a plot point that later happened in canon. (This fic also featured a corpse that was full of eyeballs when it was autopsied, so I guess I’m up to two correct horrible predictions now???)

I initially intended for the ending to be ambiguous as to Jon dying or not, because I am a slut for angst. But I got horribly attached to the version of the characters and their relationship I was writing, so I couldn’t go through with it. I love a good angsty ending, but I’m a sap at heart.

I’ll hold my hands up and say this is far more a relationship story than a plot story. Plot is not my strong point, guys. It was really fun and cathartic to write Jon and Martin moving from a boss and subordinate dynamic, to being equals and partners. Especially Martin getting to verbally smack Jon down a couple of times about still acting like Martin’s his responsibility to take care of. Obviously I couldn’t have predicted the immense pining that season 4 had in store for us.

In terms of the actual story, I really wanted it to be about the characters trying their best to find a solution, and failing at every turn, and eventually having to go to extremes and sacrifice their lives and/or humanity. It starts with them seeking information (which doesn’t help), then looking for help from people who know more, like the ancient Archivist and Adelard Dekker (which almost gets them killed), then seeking dangerous allies (which goes nowhere), to finally turning to the Web, who’s been waiting all along for her children to come back to her. In a way it’s similar to what Jon’s going through in canon right now, desperately looking for answers, but finding nothing to really help or direct him.

The idea of Martin having experienced A Guest For Mr. Spider as a child was kind of the linchpin. Once that idea came to me, the rest was fairly obvious, both in terms of the Web manipulating them together, and what Martin would be willing to do to save the world (and save Jon). I guess we’re seeing this season what Martin’s willing to do to save Jon, and I’m not sure I wrote him ruthless enough, to be honest.

I did quite a bit of research on locations and transport for the travel. Like, looking at train schedules and flight layover times. If you really wanted to for some reason, you could recreate the travel routes pretty much exactly. Also the locations and landmarks in various cities should be about right, as well as a decent amount of historical detail, though a lot of that was embellished.

My favorite location, of course, was the Reading Room of the British Museum, which I still believe is a very valid location for the Watcher’s Crown to take place. Look at this place filled with knowledge! Look at the skylight staring down from overhead! Look at the layout of the floor like a giant freaking eye with a pupil in the center! Closed for use since 2007. And it was designed by Robert Smirke’s brother. If I ever get one more prediction right, it will be this one.

Speaking of the Watcher’s Crown, man, that chapter was hell to write. It was just a lot of psychological torture and depression and angst and cosmic horror, and it was very difficult to get into the right frame of mind for it. I finally got it done thanks to the album Zeit, by Tangerine Dream, which is a dark, ambient, electro-prog mindfuck that is the closest you can get to pure existential dread in musical form. I listened to it a lot while writing that chapter.

What else...hmm… The Liar’s Knife was a rip off of homage to the Subtle Knife from His Dark Materials, which of course is referenced during the Svalbard trip. I can only imagine that both Jon and Martin would have devoured those books as kids, and would both have adored them for very different reasons. Lee Scoresby was Jon’s favorite character. Iorek Byrnison was Martin’s.

Introducing a tool of the Spiral (and then having Jon get stabbed with it) was also an excuse to bring in Helen, because I so desperately wanted her and Jon to speak again, on better terms. They’re...getting there in canon? I think?

Was Jon’s near death experience real or some sort of hallucination? Who knows? Helen might, but on the other hand she might not. She’s not great at what’s true and false.

What’s under the Dark/Vast compound at Ny Alesund? Could have been an enormous Dark/Vast hybrid creature, or it could have been caverns of equipment running experiments to reach alternate universes. Could be both! It's definitely both.

The ending is sappy as hell. I can’t help it. I am soft for these idiots, and while in canon the best we can hope for is that they get a brief moment of connection and understanding before one of them dies, in this story they get an entire chapter of talking about their feelings, and a happy(ish) ending, damn it!

Phew, I think that's it. Apparently I had more to say about this than I thought - thanks for asking!

[season-of-hope]

Steven Universe; A beginning.

I started watching Steven universe out of.... Borden. I had been burned by CN show’s and didn’t think anything of value could come from it, plus I was much older at the time, as of writing this I’m 27, enough about be tho. How was this series and this SEASON FINAL (yeah they’re not over can you believe that). 

At first I thought it was OK. But as the story went on and the messages below the surface became clear I understood how important this series is. I’ve followed it since then and watched it build to this moment. While it will continue onward, There’s thill the movie and season 6, I feel if it ended here I would be satisfied. 

So where does all this satisfaction come from, Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll..

SPOILERS BELOW!!!

SERIOUSLY GUYS IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED IT GO NO FURTHER!!!

HERE WE GO

The episode Start’s where we think it left off Steven in the prison that the Diamonds would leave Pink when she misbehaved. Only to realize that this is a dream, Steven once again accessing his mothers memories somehow. It shows us that Pink was always the way we’ve seen her. The dream however reinforces the question that Steven has been haunted by. 

Who

am

I

Steven has been worried about not being himself, that he is just his mother. This has been shown in how he has tried to shoulder some of her mistakes and make up for them all this series. It’s something that has terrified him. That he could just be his mother or spend his life making up for everything she’s done. 

but the dream does give him clarity on how his mother was treated by the Diamonds, and he confronts blue with this. Steven and Connie confront Blue with the fact that the will have a big problem if they don’t leave the tower, that problem being “Death by Starvation”. Blue just thinks it another trick, that Pink is still putting on a show like always, she demands that Steven apologizes.

Steven then does something that makes me feel so proud of him, He says no. He’s not sorry and he’s not going to apologize. Well Blue tries to crush Steven with emotion but he just makes it clear that what he did with Connie, what all the Crystal gems do is perfectly natural.He tells blue that all of this is cruel and that none of this is normal so Blue does the only reasonable thing. She fires an energy ball at Blue. Oh did I say reasonable I meant ABUSIVE.

Steven then points out the obvious, NONE OF THIS IS NORMAL. This is not how a family acts. He confronts Blue with how she manipulated Pinks emotions and treated her so cruelly. This opens up Blues eyes and she sees how failed gem society is. She decides to help them get the gems back go home.

I’m sure Yellow will be just as happy to oblige. 

Oh um...

This is probably not the outcome we wanted. But see Yellow and Blue can be seen as abused children under a abusive matriarch. White Diamond expects perfection from them and will potentially harm them if they fail her. Blue is the quite and doting daughter that just goes along with everything were as Yellow is the daughter who tries to meet the authority figures expectations, often out of fear.

Well they Fight and they Fight and they Fight and they Fight until Steven breaks up the fight and Confronts Yellow Diamond On how perfect a society is if it requires all this cruelty. Steven uses the family motto of “If every pork chop were perfect we wouldn’t have hot dogs. This society’s perfections is at the coast of all those hotdogs being thrown away into the trash bin. Bubbled so they don’t ruin everything. Hotdogs like they’re Pink (I think that’s how it goes).

Yellow breaks down in her own tears and Blue is there to help her through this realization. 

Now that both of them are on the same page as Steven we need to get the hell outta he....

Ooooooh..... Hi white(pink) pearl. Well it’s just her so maybe we can....

Oh right those can combine. Well it’s a pretty sticky wicket that we’re in until bismuth and the others arrive with the repaired arms, they knock white’s robot for a loop. and show off their new forms.

Rebecca

You WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEB!!!

Blue and Yellow offer to distract white so they can escape but Steven is doesn’t wanna run or fight like his mom. That solved nothing, he wants to try a convince White to just stop all this, or as he puts it; “If we can fix our family we can fix anything”. So we just gotta connivance a tyrant that her way of running things isn’t working. No pressure. 

The talking route however does not seem to work. she want’s none of it. she blasts Blue and Yellow. Which, strips them of any free will and turns them into Whites dolls.

That is creepy. Anyway Steven and the others are about to be thrown off and Steven looses hold of the Gems. He jumps down to get them but now he’s falling He needs to think of something so he just.

Fuses with them to bull them out. First with Amythest to get smokey quartz and then with pearl to make.

Rainbow Quartz 2.0. Who is as sassy and gay as he needs to be. 

Using the power of rainbows they get to Ruby and Sapphire and make it to ground safly, along with everyone else. He needs Garnet and quick because White is about to stomp them buuuuuu then comes.

Sun Stone. Who is Steven’s idea of what a cool person would be. Awesome.

side note.

New Outfits

Anyway they try to climb but it’s not enough so they All Fuse into

Obsidian. Oh and Connie gets a new sword.

They all rush the Diamond mech with Bismuth Connie Lapis and Peridot running interference but some of them get knocked out so Obsidian decides it’s time to bust out a sword of her own.

A fugjdsklfj;ldsajfeklawfjdskl MAGMA SWORD!!!

ahm, So they cut the arms off and get right to the head. Their forced to defuse but they get in. Okay final boss time. Unfortunately it isn’t much of a fight. White blasts the Gems with her Powers and her she gives her creepy rhetoric. As white diamond she is all colors of the light. All Gems are her some for of imperfect to her. She berets Steven saying he only keeps his friends around because they are imperfect, so he can feel imperfect. She mocks Steven’s very existence, saying he must just be Pink Diamond living inside a human boy. So she forces Pink out. Buy terring out Stevens Gem.

But this is all wrong. Because when Steven’s gem tries to reform. It becomes steven. And it’s angry.

It’s raw power is enough to force White back and Free the others. This is the culmination of Steven’s question. Am I My Mother. He’s not, he’s Steven, he’s had the fortitude to go a make up for his mothers mistakes, But he did this because he chose to do so. Not because he’s Rose trying to make up for everything. It was his choose to got to homeworld, his choose to redeem Gem society, and his choose to not end this the dark way. Gem Steven could end White Diamond if he wanted to but that’s not what Steven wants. And so his power and emotion come back together. In a beautiful scene.

This breaks Diamonds world. She looses control of the others, even Pink Pearl.

Steven offers...

Bit late to the party guys. Steven offers to show her a better way. They head back to earth in the middle of Sadie’s concert. And Lars manages to show up to. Everyone’s happy.

And Steven get’s to accomplish his goal. Curing the corrupted Gems.

All of them

Even Jasper

Who is ready to clobber Steven. Until Amy cools her jets.

Yeah we all have that feeling Jasper. Everything raps up pretty quick here. The Diamonds go home and Steven with his family decide to relax on the.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Not what I saw coming but I really enjoyed it. Rebecca wanted to create a show where we can come to an understanding with each other. where we can accept each others differences and learn to love each other. I’m fin with that, it is a bit rushed with how fast White Diamond turned good but maybe we could see her working though everything. The lesson of not everyone can be redeemed is taught in many other things, it doesn’t have to be here. Or maybe it’s a little down the road. More on that because this isn’t the end. There are some loose thread that can be explored. The zoo needs to be depopulated and returned to earth. Many worlds the gems conquered could need to be restored and then theirs the movie to consider.

Where is this Heart shaped Gem gonna come from.

And that question would lead into

Where did the gems come from anyway?

I look forward to seeing more. I hope all of you are to.

Or heck we could all get tired of it. Who knows

catch you latter.