#my coworkers enjoy me and treat me well and i’m in a place with multiple queer people and i am deeply loved by my family
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t4tstarvingdog · 2 years ago
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okay normal now
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sunlightwoo · 4 years ago
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san francisco vapor
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☀︎ pairing: apollo!eric x fem!reader
☀︎ genre: reincarnation au, fluff and angst, slice of life au, greek mythology au, enemies to lovers au (sorta), immortals au (WARNING: mentions of arrows being shot from a bow)
☀︎ wc: 1383
☀︎ plot: It was coincidental that you ended up being in the mortal world because of the punishment that you had implemented on yourself. However, for some reason it seems as though fate had other plans, because now you were stuck on Earth with the one person that you were running away from in the first place.
☀︎ a/n: hey guys!! welcome to week 2 of my summer project, aka the storms of broken hearts collection!! for this week, this is my piece that is a part of @wavesmp3​​​‘s tale as old as time collab, in which it is the modernized version of apollo and daphne’s myth. i hope you guys like this piece for this week, since next week i’ll be posting the prequel to ride along!!
STORMS OF BROKEN HEARTS | TBZ MASTERLIST
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San Francisco, the Golden City.
You were currently writing the rest of the menu for your cafe onto the chalkboard that was supposed to be hung on the wall as you felt some sort sensation at the edge of your fingertips. The start of a new season was always an exciting time for you as the thought of the new customers that were already lined up at the start at the door after hearing about the new boba place that you just so happened to own.
After years of perfecting different recipes and creating different pieces of baked goods and drinks, you were finally able to open the little cafe that you named, Sunlight’s Apollo. The cafe was meant to heal people, as a way to put them at ease of their troubles and worries of the world, but for some reason you wanted to stick with the concept of the sun and Apollo since it felt more familiar to your heart that way.
You wanted to remember your first life, for as many centuries that you have remembered living through in multiple lives, but nothing had worked. Not a single memory of your first life could spark, and you wonder if it was because of something that might’ve happened back then that might be preventing you from remembering. 
However, all that you could think of was how excited you were to open your cafe in a few moments of time, and how accomplished you felt for just doing so all on your own with the help of your friends that just so happened to be your coworkers as well. 
The day already flies by like a blink of an eye as customers come and go, waves of these individuals rushing in and out of the small place with smiles on their faces made you feel pleased. You were doing something right, you think to yourself as you glanced at the clock to see that it was already 6 in the evening, the golden hues of the sunset falling in through the glass windows and into the place.
It was quiet and peaceful as there were probably four customers that were enjoying the last few sips and crumbs of their treats, your two friends already leaving since it was almost time for closing and you wanted to close for the night. You could’ve sworn that one of them, Sunwoo, had turned the sign to close, because the moment that you see the next minute pass by, a new individual walks in with a step in his pace.
You looked up from where you were cleaning the back counter to make eye contact with them, ready to greet them when you suddenly noticed something as soon as you locked eyes. A wave of nausea somewhat hits you as flashes of memories started to appear in your mind, from sitting by a body of water to being shot with an arrow that you presumed to belong to Eros, you assumed that this was your first life as you remember begging your father to turn you into a tree to run away from him. 
Him, who had finally walked through the door of your cafe with pride on his face. 
“It seems as though I have found you again.” He greets with a smile on his face, stopping in front of where the register was with a flower in his hand, and you could only let out a scoff at his manner, your entire happy mood from the entire day being ruined with his presence alone.
“You have some nerve to show your face here, Apollo.”
His human form seemed to scream everything about his God counterpart, which made you realize that it must’ve been the reason why the sun suddenly seemed brighter today and how familiar the name of your cafe seemed. Everything about him was everything that you could think of from all the times that you’ve described to your ‘friends’ the ideal boyfriend that you wanted, but it was all wrong in your eyes. You despised him for as long as you remember, and you could only think that it might be because of all the right reasons.
He seemed more confident in this form, ready to have stuff given to him at the tip of his fingers and you didn’t want to fall apart at that and become his victim. However, deep down on the inside you knew that there wasn’t a reason for him to show up unexpectedly if he didn’t want anything, and something in you had a hunch that it had to be about you. 
“You can call me Eric, you know, just like how people call you Y/n, rather than Daphne,” He muses, leaning against the counter and you raise an eyebrow at how forward he was being, and for once you were intrigued with what he might’ve wanted, but it was all shut down with the next few words that left his lips.
“I want to talk about what happened to us, because it’s my fault that you ended up like this.”
Your face contorts with confusion with a hint of anger, eyes tearing away from his to realize that there weren't any more customers, but instead a locked door as it was now only the two of you in the cafe. Your eyes go back to his and there was something about the gaze of his that made you feel as though you should give him a sliver of a chance to explain, given that he had used all this time to find you once again in this life. 
It wasn’t until you saw that there were two arrows that appeared into his hands and you recognized it to be the arrows that were used to be hit the day that it all happened; a golden one and a lead one. He holds them out for you to see and a moment of silence passes by, until he decides to break both of them against his knee and as if it were magic, all the hate and spite you held for him was gone.
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as to why it had vanished, but you notice how his eyes had watered as he gazed at you with a longing look, making your heart beat louder in your chest as you weren’t sure what this could mean for you both. The silence felt overbearing as you didn’t know what to do, or whether or not you should move closer to him, however you could tell that there was some sort of tension that was present between you two that was ready to be broken by the sound of one’s confession. 
“I spent millenia looking for you, from the moment that I heard you reincarnated… If I had known that I was the one making you suffer the entire time… I would’ve never tried Eros in the first place.” He whispered quietly, his voice slightly cracking at his own words and you could feel a lump in your throat as the urge to wipe his tears away felt overwhelming. 
“I’m sorry that you suffered because of me.” You whispered back, looking away from him momentarily to collect your thoughts when suddenly he flashes in front of you as you blink, where you were now just inches apart from one another.
Everything seemed to flash in your own mind as you stared into his golden brown eyes, pieces of what could be your future together and it seemed risky. You were technically a deity, even though you had been reincarnated after being a tree for many centuries, and you could live for as long as you wanted if you stayed with Eric, but you wondered what would happen if you didn’t stay with him as well. 
A touch of his lips onto yours had seemed to make your mind even more hazy as you felt as though kissing him was the missing puzzle piece your heart had been yearning to find. It was intoxicating, a vapor that seemed to have filled your lungs as you could only think that he was the one person that you wanted forever, no matter how bad your past might’ve been together.
“Want to start over again, and rewrite our history?”
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asexual-abomination · 4 years ago
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Plat!Yan!Chrollo x Autistic!Reader x Plat!Yan!PT - Soulmate AU Part 2
The next part of my growing tale! The next part may be a bit shorter, but I've finally laid out a solid plan for where I want to take this!
Once again, this idea was first brought up by the lovely @kiame-sama. I also have no traditional education in writing, so any advice is greatly appreciated!
Hope you enjoy reading!
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The days following your switch were fairly normal, as you returned to work and your normal schedule. Your coworkers were sometimes nosy, asking when and how you would be reaching out your soulmate. Those questions annoyed you since they never accepted your explanation that you had already tried.
Unfortunately, you didn't really have any plan for finding your soulmate, and searching up the names you had been given hadn't been any help. Google kept trying to auto correct the names, which lead you to believe that they were rather rare. That made you think that you would have more ease in finding them, but you were unable to find anything but odd conspiracy theories that you knew better than to hold faith in.
It was stressful to think of the all the things you weren't able to do in finding your soulmate, so you tried to focus on distracting yourself with that which you found fun in real life. Watching your favorite movies for what had to have been the hundredth time, treating yourself to fancier food and some good new clothes, pulling your own mind away from the anxieties eating away at you.
It wasn't until that weekend that something felt off.
You would normally get a call from Jo in the morning of every Saturday, but they seemed to be delayed today. You truly worried that you had scared them off for good, but Jo themselves had told you multiple times that you shouldn't get too upset if the call came late.
Trying not to be too disheartened, you began the journey to work. Working as a librarian meant that while your work day was happily uneventful most days, your shifts extended into the weekend, so even on a Saturday morning you headed off on a commute.
To keep yourself active, you at least made the journey to and from the library on foot, especially seeing that it wasn't too far from your home. Boredom was rather easy at such a time as this, so you were quick to zone out and see only the pavement in front of your eyes. In your state of peace, you were too slow to notice that there were other footsteps joining yours until you were tugged into a side-path by your arms. Before you could yell out as you had been taught, a familiar voice began behind you.
"It's just me, but you need to listen very closely."
Jo's voice would normally calm you, however there was an insistence in their speech that told you they weren't here to catch up on the week.
"Look, I don't have too long to talk to you, but you need to take this," they pushed a thick binder full of sorted papers into your hands, and you took it quickly, "And follow it to the letter."
"Wait, why? What's going on!?" As you watched the panic in the way that Jo spoke, you felt overcome with the same worry, even though you had no clue what they were so upset about.
"Look, it's - it's about your soulmate, I've done some research, and he is not a good person. Not at all." They only furthered your confusion with such a statement, what research could Jo have done that you missed?
"I can't talk too much right now, but there are bad people on their way for you right now. Really horrible sorts. That binder has every instruction you need to follow to get away. If you follow it properly, there's a safe place for you to stay at the end, and I'll try to meet you there."
You could only splutter in the face of such intensity, half-coherent questions and worrying dying on your lips.
Before you could string together a sentence, your phone began to ring. You fished it out of your pocket, noting that there was no caller ID.
"(Y/N), you should answer that, but be careful what you say. It's probably that soulmate of yours, making them think they have your location will help, but you'll have to give me your phone afterwards."
There was an ache quickly forming in your head from all of the new information thrown at you, but you followed their instruction quickly, putting the phone to your ear.
"(Y/N), dear, I'm glad to have reached you. I should hope you're doing well?"
The voice was certainly the voice of your soulmate, but that didn't quell your anxiety. It took you a moment to realize that last bit was a question, and even when you figured it out, an odd tightness had formed in your throat.
"Um. Uh. I-I'm good, I guess? Are you... alright too?" You cursed your hesitant answer, but Jo looked at you from across the path with a stern nod, silently telling you that you were doing well.
A chuckle rang through the phone, quickly followed by his response, "Yes, dear, I'm doing well. You don't need to worry to much, we're almost prepared to come and meet you in person. You still work at that library, right?"
Your eyes widened at the confident question from him, practically jumping in surprise as you tried to figure out what answer would please both Jo and Chrollo. Jo gave you another nod, reaching out to gently tap your hand, lightly rubbing their thumb over the side of your palm.
With little else to go off of, you had to assume that this was Jo's way of soothing you from your upset, so you answered, "Yeah, I still work there, did - how did you find where I worked?"
As you spoke, you were trying to give Jo hints on what was being said by your soulmate, for which they were grateful, but it was unnecessary as they heard Chrollo speaking with ease.
"That's not important at the moment. You're going to be there until three, right? Like I said, we're still preparing at the moment, but we should be ready to come and get you by then. Does that sound good to you?"
Jo's face grew angry at that statement, but they still didn't speak, not wanting to alert him to their presence lest he realize that you would be missing in just a few hours.
"Err, 'come and get me'?" Even you knew that there was something iffy about that wording, especially since you didn't plan on going anywhere, even with your soulmate on a first meeting.
"Yes, exactly, we'll come and get you. At three O'clock from the Old Town Library. You don't need to leave the building, we'll come in and get you from there. I can't wait to see you, dear, you'll wait for me won't you?"
Before you could respond that you certainly wouldn't be waiting for him, the call was hung up. You felt almost out of breath as you looked mindlessly at your phone's lock screen, having to be snapped back from your trance by Jo taking a more insistent grip on your hand, pulling you to look at them.
"You understand now? Why you have to leave?" They had spoken forcefully before, but their tone was tougher now, pushing you to answer. Though you still struggled to speak as you caught your breath, your nod was enough for Jo.
Suddenly, Jo began to reach for you with their other hand, hesitating for a moment before pulling you into a hug, tight against their broad chest. You jumped at the contact, but that was nowhere near the shock you felt when you noticed the tears streaming down their face as they quickly pulled away. In all your years of friendship, you had never seen Jo cry. You had watched them fight, scream, and tremble in anger or fear, but never had a tear passed their eyes before you.
"Look, that binder has everything you need to get out of here unnoticed, I know that you can follow it and get to safety." Their tone was unaffected by their tears, not even the slightest wobble to be heard, yet they went on, "I know - I know that this going to be hard, but there is hope at the end of this. I can promise that I'll meet you at the safe house, if you can promise that you'll follow every instruction I give you."
At any other moment, you could have chuckled at their insistence, but now you found yourself nodding solemnly to their speech.
"Please, let's meet on the other side. I'll keep you safe no matter what they bring."
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taetaespeaches · 4 years ago
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“You know that I would ruin myself over and over again for you.”
yoongi x reader (or oc) genre: angst word count: 2.2K
a/n: Here it is, lovelies. I feel like this is way too hyped but I hope you all get HEARTBROKEN... kidding, loves. This is the “illicit affairs” inspired fic off of Taylor Swift’s folklore. This takes place after “I thought you left” after Yoongi returns from Japan. I hope you all enjoy, and thanks for reading! :))
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MINDLESSLY cleaning up your apartment, you almost didn’t register the ding of your phone, notifying you of a text. It wasn’t until the second ding, that you realized.
Reaching for the device, you could have swore your heart stopped upon reading his name on the screen.
Honey boy: We’re back. Can I see you?
You wanted to say no. You wanted to tell him to leave you alone. You wanted to stand up for yourself and tell him that he’s not allowed to treat you the way he did the past five days. You wanted to leave him in silence like he did you.
But you couldn’t.
You: You can come over tonight. Honey boy: 9 pm? You: That’s fine.
You were beginning to pity yourself even, holding onto this thing that never was. How pathetic.
As the next couple of hours passed before he was supposed to stop by, you nearly sent multiple texts telling him to stay away. Thirty minutes to nine, you started preparing yourself for the conversation you convinced yourself needed to happen. You would tell him if this is ever going to be something, he’s not allowed to promise communication while he’s away and then not follow through. You needed commitment.
Your anxiety was through the roof, your heart racing as 9 pm approached, and then, at 8:48 pm, there was a knock on your door. He was early?
Opening the door, you revealed a sorry looking Yoongi, dark circles under his eyes and his skin pale. His lips curved into a small smile as he greeted you, “Hey, Kid.”
That was all it took for you to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug, his arms easily wrapping around your waist. And it wasn’t that the anger disappeared, but rather just didn’t matter in that moment.
You pulled him inside your apartment, Yoongi kicking the door closed before you kissed him with need. Yoongi slowed your actions by pulling away for a moment, holding your face in his hands as his eyes scanned your features.
“I missed you, you jerk,” you pouted, Yoongi giving you a sorrowful look.
“I’m sorry, Kid,” he whispered, casting his gaze to your feet. He didn’t look like himself. He looked like he was lost within himself. Compassion is a strong emotion. Strong enough to grant forgiveness sometimes, even if only temporary.
Gently, you took his hand and led him to your bedroom, letting go of his hand when you entered the room, walking to your dresser to grab a condom out of the box before making your way to your bed alone. You sat on the mattress and looked to Yoongi as he stood still in your doorframe.
“Come here,” you told him. He stared at you for a moment longer. He opened his mouth to speak, what you took as a protest, choosing to cut him off before he could begin. “Please.”
Yoongi took a deep breath before slowly starting toward you, you pulling your shirt over your head as he made his way across the room. He stood in front of you, allowing you to pull his pants off his body before he crawled on top of you, kissing you with passion. He stayed on top the whole time, holding your hand as he placed gentle kisses to your face.
It felt like an apology. And it was one you were willing to take. That is until it ended.
He rested beside you for a few minutes, running his fingertips over your arm and the side of your body, feeling the dips in your curves. It was nice. Comfortable. And you felt a sense of relief inside your stomach, easing the anxiety of the past few days. But then, he moved to get up.
“Where are you going?” Your tone laced in panic.
He didn’t look back at you as he pulled his bottoms onto his legs, his back facing you. You noted the expanse of it again, appreciating his smooth skin and toned muscles in contrast to the outline of his spine. And then the realization hit you that you were always seeing his back. You were always watching him leave, and you never knew when he’d return.
“I have to get back to the dorm, I told the guys I’d be home in a bit,” he told you. And something snapped inside you.
“They still don’t know about us?” You asked pointedly, Yoongi stalling his movements for moment before he stood to pull his underwear and jeans over his ass. Turning around, he looked at you as he zipped and buttoned his pants.
“I haven’t told them, no,” he started, glancing around the room for a moment to find his shirt. Spotting it, he looked back to you. “Hobi knows of you.”
“Is that why you didn’t contact me while you were in Japan? The boys being around?” You asked. There was the anger again.
“Between that and the busy schedule, yeah,” he confirmed, looking slightly guilty but mostly on the defense.  
You hummed, nodding. Yoongi walked the few feet to his shirt, scooping it up and looking at you as he held it in his grasp. “Hobi knows?” You asked.
“He knows I’ve been seeing you a bit,” he told you just before pulling the shirt over his head. With him fully dressed and you still naked in bed, you suddenly became aware of how vulnerable you felt. You pulled the comforter up around you, curling your legs against your chest.
“I told my coworker about you a couple days ago,” you told him, Yoongi looking at you curiously.
“Yeah?” The words were spoken out of genuine curiosity, as if he wanted to hear what you would have told your coworker about him.
“Yeah. She asked what we are, and I didn’t know how to answer,” you told him. You were preparing to fight, and you didn’t care anymore if it would ruin everything you’ve been clinging so tightly to.
“What do you mean?” He asked, his eyebrows pulling together.
“Well you’ve never given any indication of us being in a relationship, so I couldn’t call you my boyfriend, but it felt crude to call you a fuck buddy,” you told him, holding some venom in the final two words.
“You thought about calling me a fuck buddy?” He asked, anger now seeping into his usually gentle features.
“The thought crossed my mind.” Your tone was cold, and you knew it was. It was supposed to be.
“What the fuck?” He questioned angrily. “That’s what you think this is?” Any intention of leaving was now gone as he planted his feet, staring daggers at you from a few feet from the bed.
“I don’t know what this is, that’s the problem,” you informed him, standing up to find something to wear. You kept the blanket draped over you, your back to him as you spotted your clothes. “Sometimes I feel like you’re the one, and I didn’t even think that was a thing before I met you,” you admitted, pulling your underwear on. “But other times, I feel like I’m being used,” you said as you pulled your shirt over your head, “or that I’m just here for when you need-”
“Used?” He questioned, the word drenched in hurt.
“Ever since we started having sex, you started pulling away,” you told him, turning to look at him.
“That’s not true,” he shook his head, a mixture of disappointment and anger on his face.
“It is true,” you insisted. “Look at you right now,” you gestured to him, pointing out his fully dressed form as he prepared to leave after coming over for an hour to have sex. “What am I supposed to think?”
He looked down at himself before looking up at you again, desperately searching for words. “I didn’t come over here for sex, I came over because I missed you,” he told you, his face scrunched up. “You initiated this,” he gestured to the bed.
“Right, well excuse me for trying to feel close to you,” you pointedly retorted.
“You think we have to be having sex to feel close to me?” He asked. You could tell he was feeling a whirlwind of emotions but so were you.
You shrugged, staring at him. “You left me in complete silence.” You spoke the words in a quieter voice than you’d been using, and you watched as they penetrated his fragile shield of thick skin.
“I told you when we started this whole thing that it would be complicated,” he reminded you, you shaking your head. “I told you so many times, I warned you that I wouldn’t be able to give you a normal relationship.”
“I’m not looking for a normal relationship, Yoongi, I’m just looking for some consistency and some sort of” you searched for the word, “label, so I don’t feel like I’m making all this shit up,” you told him, tears forming in your eyes.
“Making what up?” He questioned, his voice quiet as he stared at you intently.
“How I feel about you, and how I thought you felt about me,” you admitted, a tear falling down your cheek before wiping it away quickly. You could have sworn Yoongi took a step toward you before deciding against it. “I feel fucking insane when I get so much affection and care from you one morning and then you’re gone for five days without a word. And then when you come back, I’m just supposed to act like your silence didn’t hurt?”
He stared at you for a moment, waiting for you to continue, and his continued silence made the whole fight hurt so much more.
“Just tell me what we are so I can at least put my guard up, because you have the power to completely break my heart,” you said as more tears fell, you groaning in frustration at the evidence of your pain, wiping them away aggressively.
“I warned you of all of this. You said you were capable of making your own decisions. You kept me around. You asked for this,” he said, regret immediately taking over his features.
“I asked for this?” You questioned angrily.
“That’s not what I meant,” he interjected.
“I didn’t ask to be treated like a convenient play-thing for when you need to get off, or like a fucking ego boost for when you’re feeling insecure or lonely,” you spat, knowing fully well that the words would hurt him.
“That’s not what this is though,” he told you sadly, the anger leaving him.  
“I guess I was wrong when I said I could handle the terms of this relation-whatever the fuck this is,” you corrected. “Because this is not working for me,” you told him, Yoongi’s eyes widening in what appeared to be panic. “I feel pathetic and taken advantage of, Yoongi, do you not see that?”
“I’m not taking advantage of you, Kid, jesus christ,” he defended, his tone defeated.
“Don’t call me that,” you sobbed. “Don’t call me that right now.” You visibly saw Yoongi take a sharp breath of air in. “Do you see me?” You asked, both of you staring at each other for a moment. “I’m a mess for you. And you know that I would ruin myself over and over again for you. And you’re just letting me do it,” you cried, wrapping your arms around your body.
Yoongi stared at you speechless, his eyes raking over every inch of you as he realized what you were saying. He was breaking you down, intentional or not.  
“I’m sorry,” he told you sincerely, backing away from you. “I-fuck I’m sorry.” Without another word, he turned around and made his way through your apartment, you following after him angrily.
“So that’s it? You’re walking away?” You asked through your tears, watching him as he grabbed your door knob.
“What do you want me to do?” He turned around to look at you, tears in his eyes. “I’m ruining you right?” You stared at each other, hopeless and directionless, both of you running through your history, trying to figure out where things could have been changed to avoid this exact moment from ever happening. “I just- I can’t give you more than this, baby.” You flinched at the term of affection, and he sighed. “As much as I want to give you more, I fucking can’t,” he told you, his voice shaking with emotion as the words left his lips.
The man in front of you was lost and confused, regret and heartbreak evident in his expression, his eyes tired and dark, his skin lack luster compared to its usual glow. You had all but told him to leave, but halfway out the door you felt betrayed that he was actually leaving.
It was a flaw of yours to use anger in times of hurt; to throw mean remarks instead of what you really wanted to say. And you put that on display with your next words.
“Make sure no one sees you leave. And heaven forbid your members see you come back flushed, better tell them you were out for a run,” you told him viciously. “We can act like we never happened,” you added quietly. Yoongi nodded slowly before exiting your apartment, closing the door quietly behind him, his clothed back being the last you saw of him.
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otptings · 4 years ago
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Forever and Always
Idol ; Wong Yukhei (Lucas)
Genre ; Fluff, Slight Angst (past fboy!Lucas, hinted mafia!Lucas (barely a hint), mentions of a fight)
this is a rewrite of my previous Home that I wrote. I really didn't like how it looked so I edited. I hope you guys enjoy this new and improved version
"What the hell happened to you?" Lucas gave me his big puppy dog smile. The smile he would use after a cheesy pick up line, or bad joke. A smile that made his eyes sparkles, and made my heart flutter at the sight.
But not now. This was a smile where he tried to hide his wince from his busted lip. Lucas leaned against my doorway, looking as if he would pass out any moment. Grabbing his hand I pulled him in to my apartment shutting the door behind me. Helping him over to the couch Lucas groaned as he sat down, only making my worry increase.
"Hi angel." I glared at him before turning away. Lucas grabbed my arm to keep me leaving.
"Don't leave please." I felt my heart break as I heard him whimper.
"I'm coming back, I have to go get the first aid kit." He looked up at me as if he was checking to see if I was telling the truth. Nodding his head he slowly let me go. I quickly ran to get the first aid kit. Sitting down on the couch beside him I opened it, and made sure that I had everything.
"Now are you going to tell me what happened?"
Nodding feebly Lucas looked down at his hands. "I got into a fight."
I rolled my eyes at the dumbass answer he gave me. As if I couldn't see that. "I'm not stupid, I know you got into a fight. Why did you get into a fight?"
Inspecting the cuts on his face, I saw that they were all superficial. Grabbing the alcohol I dipped a cotton swab in it, before gently brushing it over his cuts. He hissed at the burning sensation. Settling his hands on my waist, he squeezed ever time it hurt too much.
"It was because of you." My hand faltered for a bit before I finished up cleaning his cuts. Grabbing the ointment I spread it on the opposite end and coated all of his cuts with it, making sure to place a bandaid over them.
Moving down to his hands, I refused to look up at him. His knuckles were split open and starting to turn a nasty purple. Cleaning his knuckles, and applying ointment I wrapped bandages around them.
'Why? You know I hate you fighting even if it was for me, you know your past." Lucas sighed before grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him.
"Someone was talking shit about us, our relationship, how I treat you in their eyes. They said that I didn't deserve you, that I was only using you for my own pleasure. Mentioned all the girls from my past. They were taunting me. I started to walk away but they said how they would treat you better, fuck you better. How much better they were than me, for you."
Lucas let go of my chin, and looked down at his bandaged hands. "My blood started boiling, and before I knew it I was getting kicked out of the bar. I just couldn't help it. I try so hard to leave my past behind, and I know that you deserve better than me, but it's fucking shitty to hear it. I'm sorry I know that you hate me fighting, and I should've walked away. I was wrong."
Tilting his head up I leaned in to kiss Lucas, being mindful of his lip. When I tried to pull away Lucas placed his hand on the back of my neck, keeping me in place. Lucas bit my bottom lip causing me to let out a gasp, and slipped his tongue past my lips. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck, playing with his hair at the base of his neck. He licked behind my teeth and used his arm wrapped around my waist to pull me in closer, until our chests were touching.
This made it all worth it. Feeling him, feeling his love for me even though he doesn't say it often. It's only be 2 years since we were in college, but his past seems to follow him. I know that he is constantly trying to prove to me that he's changed, and he's showed it in so many ways.
Him bringing me flowers after a hard day of work, making me dinner randomly, and planning surprise dates on our off days. He was constantly showing me he loved me through his actions, that he's changed.
After what seemed like hours we finally pulled away, keeping our foreheads together. I could feel his breath on my lips, and I know that he felt the same. If either of us talked our lips would brush against each other. Looking in the eyes that I loved so much I saw love and anger. I don't know if it was at the stranger, or at himself for his past.
"I love you." I whispered, scared that if I spoke any louder I would ruin the moment. Scared that there still might be a piece of him that shies away from love. This was the closest that Lucas has ever been too sincere to me.
"I'm sorry. For everything I've put you through. I love you so much." I looked down, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. Him saying I love you was so rare even 3 years into our relationship. I knew that if I looked him I would cry.
Lucas had other plans as he grabbed my face again and forced me to look at him. "I'm serious. I've been thinking, and I think I'm ready for you to move in with me. I know this a bad time to tell you, but I'm serious about you, about us, our future."
I pulled away from Lucas quickly. Moving in? That wasn't a big step, it was a gigantic one. Was I truly ready for that?
Looking at Lucas looked like a kicked puppy. I hated whenever Lucas had that look. I only ever wanted to make Lucas happy. And couldn't I say the same for him? He only ever tried to make me happy and feel loved, even if he doesn't know how to properly say it. We've been together for 3 years, despite his past and some of the obstacles - read threats- we faced, they've been absolutely amazing. But what about his job? Would I be safe in his house? Knowing what he did?
But this is Lucas. The same person who decorated my apartment our senior year because I had exams the same week and didn't want to celebrate. He refused to let me spend my birthday alone and even made me a cake. The same one who became my personal chauffeur when I had broken my fight. Who gave me his jacket so that no one would mess with me on campus. Who went out and brought me soup at 2 am when he learned that I had the flu and couldn't get out soup. Who had one of his 'coworkers' bring me lunch and coffee because he knew I would forget to eat due to stress. Who kissed away my tears whenever I was stressed because of class, or because of exams. Who sat with me and read my essays as many times as I needed him to.
The one was incredibly gentle with me our first time. Who asked for my consent every step of the way. Who cupped one of my cheeks gently, and rubbed his thumb against my face as he thrusted into me. Who was so sweet I cried because I'd never felt that loved before during sex.
The same person who I trusted with my heart, and life.
I didn't realize that I was crying until Lucas cupped my face and wiped away the tears before leaving multiple kisses on my cheeks.
"If you don't want to you don't have to. I would never force you." I shook my hand quickly before moving his hands, intertwining our fingers.
"I want to move in with you." He looked at me for a second trying to determine I was telling the truth. Once he saw no hesitation he broke out into the smile that I loved so much.
The one that made his eyes sparkle, and my heart flutter. Wrapping his arms around my waist he stood up and spun me around until I was laughing. Placing me on my feet he held my cheeks and kissed me deeply.
I realized it didn't matter where we were or if we were ready. He was my home. Forever and Always.
-
"You won right?"
"I thought you didn't like me fighting?"
"I hate it but I can't be dating a loser."
"You know I won, and if I wouldn't have? He would've had a bullet in his head."
"Thats my baby."
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Text
...I quit my job last night/this morning.
I would never usually just quit a job without giving a two-week notice or having a backup, especially when it’s been such a short time since I started and how hard it was to get the job, but I believe this was an extenuating circumstance.
After the car accident on the 15th I have had to call in multiple times because of the pain (once which sent me to urgent care and then another day to the emergency room), and I could understand them being upset about my absence, but I believe that doesn’t excuse the treatment they were giving me because of it.
I was being downright bullied by my coworkers. They would tell me it was OK that I wasn’t able to do my usual workload (I worked in a deli with a bunch of older ladies and they often relied on me to do the heavy lifting, which I was more than OK with before the accident, but after I couldn’t lift - and still struggle with lifting - more than 20lbs), and then they would spend the entire shift talking about me, making comments about working all by themselves, and being mean to me when I tried to do things I could do, such as counterwork, dishes, and cooking lighter stuff. I tried to push myself with heavier stuff as well in an effort to make them happier, but all that did was make my pain worse.
This really hurt because I thought I was fitting in. I got along with most of the people I was working with, but my favorite coworker had been the one making the most comments and being the nastiest to me.
I talked to a manager and all she did was guilt trip me. She told me to see it from their perspective, how me calling in and not doing all of my duties affected my department’s work load. When I mentioned wanting to quit, she tried to convince me to stay and just cut my hours, but said either way I would be “running away from the problem” rather than facing it. I told her I would think about it, but I had already spoken to my boyfriend and he vehemently supports me over this.
I made the call this morning and talked to the store manager, who the other manager had told about the situation, and I was literally hung up on.
I honestly don’t know what to do or how to feel now. I spent months looking for jobs. I had only been working there for a month, and I know it will be very difficult to find another, especially after how my last two jobs ended. And at first I thought I’d really like the job - I enjoyed the work and I really seemed to fit in - but it quickly became very toxic. I was driven to the point of tears countless times, both because of the pain and because of the way they were treating me.
I also have a feeling if I hadn’t quit, they probably would’ve fired me because of my attendance around the accident.
I have bills covered for next month. I have already started looking for jobs - I am applying to Walmart again, as well as a craft store and a new oil change place in town, and I am going to keep applying elsewhere too. I have my boyfriend’s full support in this, and I would not have done this without him being OK with it; I don’t want that burden on him.
I’m tired. I’m just tired and I feel like I owe everyone an explanation and apology.
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trashyswitch · 3 years ago
Text
Shaun's Playful Side
Shaun is feeling playful and bored, and pulls a few gags and pranks on his coworkers. Most of his coworkers can have a laugh out of Shaun's antics, but two of them find a need to get revenge...
This was a fanfic I had written in a separate fanfic writing spot that I had for a few months to a year. It was fun to write then, and it was extra fun to edit and upload here.
This fanfic is for @secretly-tword-obsessed. I hope you enjoy!
It was nearing the end of the long work day, and Dr. Browne was getting ready to leave. As she was getting ready, she couldn’t help but reflect over the day. She reflected over a few different things, often having to do with the patients. But the one thing she certainly reflected on, was Shaun and his silliness today.
Now, usually silliness wasn’t tolerated in the workplace. But Shaun kept his silliness under control during the work shifts. But when they were given free time...that was a whole different story today.
For some reason, Shaun had been acting a lot like a mischievous child during his breaks. Whenever they weren’t in surgery, weren’t focusing on something serious, or weren’t with/talking about the patient, Shaun would do weird things like: -play with Dr. Browne’s hair -poke Dr. Reznick multiple times -placing zip ties on Dr. Andrew’s stuff -spam Dr. Melendez with texts And: -attempt to balance different things on Dr. Park’s head.
Dr. Park and Dr. Browne saw Shaun’s unusual antics as a funny joke. They just assumed that Shaun was either feeling playful that day or trying to eliminate boredom.
Dr. Park actually found it quite funny when Shaun would come up with things to balance on his head. He even went along with it and helped him pile books on his head. Then, a goofy smile filled Shaun’s face the moment all the books came falling down. Dr. Park yelped and looked down. “Oh no!”
Shaun looked at him with a smile despite his disappointment. “It fell.”
Dr. Park chuckled. “Really? I didn’t notice! Like, at all” He said, over exaggerating his sarcasm.
Shaun pointed at him awkwardly like he usually did. “You’re being sarcastic. That’s meant to be a joke. I liked it.” Shaun explained.
“Yes, it was. And thank you.” Dr. Park said with a playful bow. “Now: How flat is your head?” Dr. Park asked, picking up the books.
Shaun felt his own head and fluffed his hair a little. “I don’t know.”
Dr. Park held up a book. “Wanna find out?” Dr. Park asked.
Shaun’s smile returned for a bit as he nodded.
And Dr. Melendez happened to walk in as Shaun and Dr. Park managed to get 3 books balanced atop Shaun’s head.
Dr. Browne would be thinking of something or reading, when Shaun would just start playing with her hair. It started with feeling it, and soon turned into uncurling and letting go of the curls. “What are you doing?” Dr. Browne asked.
“Your hair is curly. Boing boing.” Shaun said in his monotone voice.
Dr. Browne practically lost it when Shaun said ‘boing’ in the most unenthusiastic voice possible. And the ‘boing’ noises just kept going too. And Dr. Browne loved every moment of it. It was rare to see Shaun acting like this.
Dr. Andrews was a little annoyed at first. He found the zip ties everywhere, somewhat inconvenient. But, he did get some humor out of seeing the scissors, even the scissors, zip tied together. When he went to the video capturing computers to find out who it was, Dr. Andrews was plenty surprised to find out it was Shaun. Though, he supposed he didn’t fully know Shawn outside of work.
“Shaun, can you get me a pair of scissors and come to my office please?” Dr. Andrews asked.
Shaun immediately smiled as the scissors part gave away what he wanted.
When Shaun arrived at his office, Dr. Andrews was smiling and pointing to him. “I looked at the cameras...and found out you were the zip tie man.” Dr. Andrews reacted. “Now I’ll be honest: I was a little surprised at first.” Dr. Andrews admitted.
Shaun looked down, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry.”
Dr. Andrews blinked in surprise. Oh gosh- “No no no! It’s fine! It was funny. Especially seeing the scissors zip tied. That’s a classic.” Dr. Andrews told him.
Shaun looked at him with curiosity. “Now, can you cut these scissors free so I can use them to get my stuff untied?” Dr. Andrews asked, handing him the scissors.
Shaun nodded and cut the ziptie off the scissors. But when Dr. Andrews walked up to take the scissors from him, Shawn started backing up. At first, Dr. Andrews worried he may have been doing something wrong. But then, Dr. Andrews noticed something that told him everything:
Shaun’s little smile.
“Shaun...Shawn I need the scissors.” Dr. Andrews told him, walking closer.
Shaun walked another step back and shook his head with the smile on his face.
“Don’t make me come over there.” Dr. Andrews ordered. “You’re 26 years old. You know better.” Dr. Andrews reminded.
“This is fun.” Shawn told him.
“Oh?” Dr. Andrews smirked. “You want fun? Okay. I’ll give you fun.” Dr. Andrews took off running for Shaun and smiled wider when he watched Shaun turn right around and take off running.
It didn’t take long for Dr. Andrews to hunt him down and get the scissors off him. Dr. Andrews even got Dr. Browne in on helping him. In response to that; Dr. Browne started tickling Shaun and soon got the scissors from the evil Shaun Murphy.
Meanwhile, Dr. Melendez and Dr. Reznick were NOT happy with with the jokes. Morgan saw it as inappropriate for any time of the day and didn’t want him to do anything to her. Not only that, but Shaun’s poking almost revealed a secret that she’s always wanted to get away from. But luckily, it was only Shaun and her in the room when it happened. After that, Shaun’s hand was grabbed and he was verbally forced to stop.
For Dr. Melendez, receiving multiple texts from a resident that just said “hi”, can make you question how useful your phone really is. Dr. Melendez had been spending some of the day questioning if he should either break his phone against the floor, or throw it right at Shaun’s face. Both seemed tempting after all those texts.
Luckily, that hasn’t happened yet...
Fast forwarding to after work, Dr. Browne was closing her locker when Dr. Reznick bursted through the locker room door. “I swear, I am going to KILL SHAUN!” Dr. Reznick yelled.
“Holy shit! What did he do to you?” Dr. Browne asked, both surprised and amused by her reaction to a harmless prank.
“He kept poking me without stopping! It took me 5 tries to get him to permanently stop!” Dr. Reznick yelled.
Dr. Browne just giggled at her.
“Why are you laughing? Getting poked all day is NOT! FUNNY!” Dr. Reznick yelled.
“Come on, Morgan. He’s just trying to have some fun.” Dr. Browne defended with a smile on her face.
“Ha! Fun? You call “getting poked constantly” fun?” Dr. Reznick argued.
“Yes. It sounds a bit better than what he did to me. He kept playing with my hair and calling it bouncy.” Dr. Browne said.
“Well...your hair is bouncy...” Dr. Reznick muttered under her breath.
Suddenly, Dr. Melendez bursted into the room.
“I did it! I worked up the courage to throw my phone at Shaun.” Dr. Melendez cheered.
Dr. Reznick cheered with him. “Yeah! That’ll show him!”
“What?! Why the hell would you do that?” Dr. Browne asked angrily.
“He kept spamming my phone with pointless texts!” Dr. Melendez yelled.
Dr. Browne laughed at her boss’s reaction.
Soon, Dr. Andrews walked into the locker room, holding a big pile of cut zip ties. “I found out who the Zip Tie Man is.” Dr. Andrews said with a laugh. “And the scissors stealer! Don’t ever give Shawn any office scissors again. He’ll run away with them.” Dr. Andrews told them.
Dr. Melendez bursted out laughing at that. “And here I am, giving the guy a scalpel and my phone number!” Dr. Melendez reacted.
Dr. Andrews blinked in surprise. “Wait...I wasn’t the only one zip tied?” Dr. Andrews asked.
“Yes, but you weren’t the only one getting pranked or messed with.” Dr. Browne told him.
“I got poked constantly.” Dr. Reznick told him.
Dr. Melendez rolled his eyes. “I was spammed with texts.”
“And I had my hair played with. Which, it actually felt nice! He’s very gentle with people’s hair.” Dr. Browne told them.
“Hey, what if we were to treat him like the child he was?” Dr. Reznick asked. Dr. Browne didn’t like the sound of this...
“Like, payback? Okay. But how? He doesn’t think like us, so he could see the action the complete opposite from what we meant to communicate.” Dr. Melendez warned.
Dr. Reznick thought of ideas, and started to think of her almost embarassing situation earlier. This triggered an idea.
“Hey, I have an idea.” Dr. Reznick said as she walked up, before whispering the idea into Dr. Melendez’s ear.
“Why didn’t I think of that?! That’s probably the most childish revenge I can think of.” Dr. Melendez exclaimed. Dr. Reznick smirked as she looked at Dr. Browne, who looked scared out of her skin.
“What? Poking him to oblivion like he did to you?” Dr. Andrews asked.
“Nope. Tickling him.” Dr. Reznick replied.
Dr. Andrews smiled. “Oooooh! I know exactly where you should go for! Dr. Browne happened to be showing me this morning!” Dr. Andrews told them. “This is where you go:”
Dr. Andrews took the time to tell them, and ignored Dr. Browne’s protests that ‘they weren’t true’ or ‘you shouldn’t’. But Dr, Melendez and Dr. Reznick were all for getting revenge. This was gonna be so fun!
Meanwhile: Shaun soon left Dr. Glassman’s office and started heading towards the locker room. He opened the room door and walked in.
“Hello.” Shaun said.
“Hi Shaun.” Dr. Reznick said, oddly cheerful for being annoyed. Shaun noticed this.
“What are you happy about?” Shaun asked.
“Nothing.” Dr. Reznick replied. Shaun noticed many signs that said otherwise.
“You’re lying.” Shaun observed.
“No I’m not.” Dr. Reznick said in a sing-song voice. Shaun started to feel a mixture of fastination and worry. He looked over to Dr. Browne, who shrugged rather nervously. Shaun didn’t like this weird turn.
“What’s going on?” Shaun asked.
“Oh nothing.” Dr. Melendez said behind Shaun, making him jump.
“Hello...why are you two acting strange?” Shaun asked. His boss and his least favourite partner were now circling him, causing him to feel more nervous by the second.
“Oh, you’ve never seen this side of us? Kind of like how we’ve never seen your playful, mischievous side, until now?” Dr. Melendez said bluntly. Shaun started smiling a little bit.
“This is about my playful mood today. It doesn’t happen often.” Shaun admitted.
“Really? That’s good to know.” Dr. Reznick reacted.
“How?” Shaun asked as he followed Dr. Reznick.
Suddenly, Dr. Melendez pounced on Shaun, causing Shaun to fall backwards to the ground.
“I don’t like the look of this...” Shaun admited as he felt his wrists get gripped by Dr. Reznick.
“Since you’ve been acting like a child all day, we’re going to treat you like one.” Dr. Reznick said while Dr. Melendez removed Shaun’s shoes.
“I know what you’re planning. It is not good.” Shaun said, attempting to struggle. However, Dr. Reznick was stronger than her appearance led him to believe.
Before Shaun knew it, he began feeling ticklish sensations on the balls of his feet.
“Hehehe! Wait! I’m sorry! Haha! Please! Hehe! Let me go!” Shaun begged, attempting to squirm out of his trap. Dr. Browne stared wide-eyed, as Dr. Reznick and Dr. Melendez’s secret plan started.
“Wow! Not even 5 seconds in, and we’re hearing Shaun beg. We haven’t even started!” Dr. Melendez said, looking at Dr. Reznick before picking up the pace.
Dr. Andrews chuckled from his hiding spot. He was recording the whole thing on his phone.
Shaun was full-blown laughing now!
“Hahahaha! Wait! Nohoho! Hahahaha!” Shaun laughed.
“You know, Shaun, you should laugh more. You know why? Because I have never heard you laugh like this before.” Dr. Melendez explained. It was then and there that Dr. Melendez decided to start going for underneath the toes like Dr. Andrews suggested.
“Hahahaha! HA! HEY! HAHAHA!” Shaun yelled, as his laughter grew slightly louder.
“Oooh! Sweet spot!” Dr. Reznick proclaimed as she held Shaun’s wrists. Shaun was squirming even more now, and it was becoming more and more difficult to hold him still. Dr. Melendez noticed this and stopped for a moment.
“Did you wanna switch for a bit?” Dr. Melendez asked. Shaun was breathing hard.
“W-wait...no...any-anything but...that...the nails! They’re...worse.” Shaun admitted between breaths.
Those words made Dr. Reznick immediately nod. “You know what? Sure.” Dr. Reznick agreed and let go of Shaun’s wrists. They switched spots quickly, so that Shaun didn’t run away on them.
“Alright. Since Dr. Melendez had already worked on your feet, I’m gonna go somewhere different.” Dr. Reznick said as she looked for a good spot. She decided to try the top of his knees first.
“Wait! Don’t go for my knees!” Shaun said angrily, before kicking Dr. Reznick’s knees.
“Hey! Watch where you’re kicking! And for that...” Dr. Reznick warned before sitting on Shaun’s lower legs.
“Oh no...” Shaun thought out loud.
Dr. Reznick started squeezing Shaun’s knees.
“Ah! D-don’t! Gahahaha! Stahap!” Shaun yelled through his laughter.
“Aww! Is this too much? Here: Let’s see if this is better.” Dr. Reznick teased before poking at the back of Shaun’s knees.
“EEEEEEKK! NOHOHOHAHAHAHA! STAHAP! THAT’S WORSE! THAT’S WORSE!! HAHAHAHA!” Shaun screamed as he struggled to stop her fingers.
“Oh my! I think that’s a lot better!” Dr. Reznick teased.
Shaun’s mind was going crazy! All he could think about was how vulnerable and ticklish he was! Not only that, but Shaun’s hands were stuck above him, which made it impossible to stop Dr. Reznick. “COHOHOME OHON! I’M SORRY! PLEHEHEASE!” Shaun begged.
“Come on guys...He’s growing tired.” Dr. Browne tried to tell them.
But Dr. Reznick paused and checked his pulse. “Nope! He’s fine! Aren’t ya, Shaun?” Dr. Reznick teased.
Shaun had an uncontrollable smile on his face, and Dr. Andrews noticed this immediately. “Look at that man. He likes it!” Dr. Andrews reacted.
“Likes it?” Dr. Reznick asked.
“Aww, but that’s not nearly as fun…” Dr. Melendez reacted.
“Yes it is! That just makes this situation even better!” Dr. Andrews reacted. “Right Shaun?”
Shaun looked at him. “Ihi’m not tickled often. This is very fun and worth all the pranks.”
Well, didn’t that earn Shaun even more tickles!
Soon, Dr. Reznick decided to slow her fingers down, and give the boy a break. Shaun’s laughing and squirming quickly died down.
“Alright. Where should we move to next?” Dr. Renick thought aloud.
“Okay guys, I think that’s enough.” Dr. Reznick heard behind her. She turned around and her eyes locked with Dr. Park’s eyes.
“Come on, let him go.” Dr. Park ordered.
“And why should we?” Dr. Melendez asked.
“He’s exhausted, he’s sweating, he’s as red as a tomato, and he’s struggling to breath without coughing.” Dr. Park explained as he counted with his fingers. “I think he’s had enough.”
Dr. Reznick and Dr. Melendez both sighed as they let Shaun go and stood up. Shaun continued laying on the floor, gasping for air. Dr. Browne and Dr. Park walked over to Shaun to aid him.
“You okay?” Dr. Browne asked.
Shaun continued to breathe in deeply and rapidly, to ensure that he got air in his lungs sooner than later. He was letting out leftover giggles as he attempted to breath. Since he failed to talk, Shaun nodded in response.
“Holy shit! You are sweaty!” Dr. Park reacted to Shaun’s wet bangs, as they stuck to his forehead due to sweat. Shaun smiled in response and wiped his forehead. “That was fun!” Shaun declared.
Dr. Park turned around. “I- really?!” He reacted.
“Shaun likes being tickled apparently.” Dr. Melendez said.
“Huh...Looks like I have something to tease you about now.” Dr. Park decided.
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madamewriterofwrongs · 4 years ago
Note
From the fluffy/blushy prompts: "No, it’s fine. I can wait until you’re done talking to them". Thank you!
Happy NaNoWriMo (aka, working multiple projects and filling prompts <3)!
911/Buddie
Take My Heart Away With You
“Eddie Diaz, as I live and breathe.” Half a dozen heads shot up from across the intersection as the firefighters of the 118 continued to pack up their equipment. It had been a simple enough call: three-car accident in a residential area, no major injuries or immediate dangers. In fact, the entire incident was over and done with in less than an hour; they might make it back in time for Bobby to cook lunch before half of the crew were off for the day.
Although, plans were certain to change given the determined excitement from the stranger on the sidewalk.
Eddie looked up from his place beside Buck and recognized the man instantly. “Jerry? What the hell are you doing here?”
Without a second glance, he tossed his share of the equipment haphazardly into the truck for Buck to sort and jogged over to greet his friend.
“What am I doing here? Last I heard, you were living in Texas with your parents, and now I find you pulling cats out of trees in the City of Angels?”
From against the side of the truck, Chimney tilted his head to mutter “I don’t think I’ve ever rescued a cat from any form of flora.” Hen chuckled but agreed with a quip of her own, though Buck was admittedly too fixated on the other voices to pay much attention. Unfortunately, he was a little too far away to hear Eddie’s conversation with his old friend so he returned to his task, picking up the slack until his partner’s return.
“I moved out here with my son about three years ago, now.” Eddie hadn’t seemed to notice the distinct lack of chatter from his teammates as they all strained to hear his conversation. “You remember Christopher? He’s almost ten now.”
Jerry whistled in response, shoving his hands into his jean pockets. “Crazy. And Shannon? How’s she doing?”
No matter the passage of time, the sudden memory of losing his wife was always a shock to his system. “She, uh, she passed just over a year ago. It’s just the two of us. Well, I’ve got my aunt and my grandmother, and Carla, and Buck, and the rest of the 118.”
“I’m sorry,” he looked down at the hand on his shoulder and his mind returned to the days when the most sympathetic greeting he could expect on a daily basis was a firm clap on the shoulder. “but it seems like you’re doing well here.”
“I am.” Eddie was finally able to admit that he was thriving in LA, and it was nothing to be ashamed of (actually, he was almost able to admit that). “But what about you? I thought you were moving to Paris to be with Katie and her family.” It had been some time but he seemed to remember long nights of listening to Jerry pine for his girlfriend who had decided to move home now that she was done with her Masters, and how much he would miss her once his tour was over.
“I did. I’m just in town for a conference.” His friend flashed a smile that reminded Eddie of Buck’s giddy grins when he was almost too excited to share his news. “We’ve been married now, two years in August.”
He had nothing but congratulations to offer Jerry, though his heart did ache to see the ring glinting in the sunlight.
“How have you been since Shannon…” there was no need to end the sentence for two men so acquainted with death. “Is Carla…?”
“No.” He gently affirmed. “Carla’s an amazing woman but she helps care for Christopher when I’m at work.” And what a god-send she was. “Buck introduced us.”
There was a familiar glint in his eyes that Eddie recognized from every time he found himself roped into pulling pranks on their last day at any camp. “And Buck is…”
“My coworker.” He emphasized with a nod in his friend’s direction, hiding the smile that came when Buck gave an awkward wave.
“He’s cute.”
Eddie barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Jerry wasn’t the first (and he certainly wouldn’t be the last) of his friends to be charmed by Buck with just a single look.
“And he knows it.” He grumbled good-naturedly. “But listen, I gotta get back to work. It was nice seeing you.”
He was already jogging back when he turned at the sound of his name. “A couple of the guys are getting together on Thursday to watch the game; you wanna join us?”
Eddie paused in the middle of the street, a rejection on his lips before he paused to consider the offer in its entirety. A night with old friends who shared a very specific (and some would say ‘traumatic’) experience, most of whom he hasn’t seen since returning prematurely from his second tour. A night which didn’t predictably end at home or at Buck’s, reminiscing about the day – not that he didn’t enjoy his downtime with someone he’d easily call his best friend. A night with no responsibilities.
“Yeah.” He called as he jogged back to his old friend. “Let me give you my new number and you can send me the details.”
Across the road, Buck stood upright as he no longer subtly observed Eddie’s interaction. “Did he just give that guy his number?”
“So what if he did?” Hen slammed the back of the ambulance after returning their unused equipment. “It’s been over a year since Shannon died, I think it’s good that he’s getting back out there.”
Chimney hummed in contemplation beside her. “I’m with Buck on this. Maybe it’s a little too soon to be dating. Besides, he’s got a kid at home, doesn’t that complicate things?”
“I didn’t say it was too soon.” Buck protested too sharply. “I just think it’s in poor taste to be hitting on a guy when he’s in the middle of a call.”
“Didn’t you frequently talk to your girlfriend while actively treating a patient?”
He ignored Hen’s excellent point in favor of watching Eddie return to his post.
“Sorry about that. Old army buddy. I haven’t seen him since I got back but we’re gonna get together with some of the old squad later this week to catch up.” He looked so excited (as excited as ‘Professional-Mode’ Eddie could be) that Buck didn’t have the heart to question him further. He used the same excuse to explain why we was virtually silent on the ride back to the station. It certainly had nothing to do with the curious way his heart tightened at the thought that Eddie might be ready to date after the passing of his wife.
Eddie would never describe himself as a ‘social butterfly’, in even the broadest sense of the term, but there was something about being in a specific environment that brought out his louder personality. Sitting on the couch, drinking beer, and half-watching a game while taking turns swapping stories about the old days and where life took them after (that is to say, standing and cheering when there was noise from the television and virtually ignoring the screen otherwise).
For once, he found he had stories to tell that didn’t leave him riddled with guilt. He could talk about the people he’d saved at work, and the daring rescues Buck decided to pull off that Eddie had to save him from. A few of the guys had seen Buck on the news but had no idea Eddie was there. Thoughts of all the people they’d lost – and almost lost – in bombings had silenced the room for a minute. And then someone scored a goal and they were all on their feet, cheering and sloshing drinks like nothing had happened.
For a few hours, Eddie was given the gift of forgetting that he had anything to be ashamed about and just enjoy the life he had now. So, of course, when the boys invited him out a week later, he was quick to accept their invitation.
“Sorry, I can’t do game night on Tuesday, I’m going out for drinks with the guys.” He declined Chimney’s offer of dinner while they dressed in the locker room before their weekend shift. “Buck, you’re welcome to join us if you don’t want to be the odd man out.” As much as he loved his sister, Eddie knew that his friend was less than keen on being the only person at dinner without a date.
Not that he and Buck would go as a date, but it always seemed easier when they could pair off in whatever way that meant to them.
“I don’t want to impose.” Buck began to protest but Eddie waved him off.
“It’s not imposing if I’m inviting you.”
Still, the man shook his head.
“Nah, I actually have plans on Tuesday anyways so I won’t be going to Maddie’s anyways.”
If he were paying closer attention, he might notice the way Buck avoided his eyes as he spoke – a sure sign that he was being less than truthful.
“You were just going to not show up and leave me as the odd man out? I, at least, gave you fair warning.” He tossed his uniformed shirt at Buck’s head, which he caught only after it hit him on the side of his face. Of course, that meant Eddie had to cross the locker room in only his slacks to retrieve the clothing item, leaving him standing next to Buck, shirtless, and all too aware of their close proximity.
“Have fun without me.” He saw the twinkle behind those blue eyes of something unspoken but instead of asking, he pulled the shirt out of his hands and pulled it over his head in a smooth motion on his way out the door.
Buck watched him leave with, breathless in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. And something in his gut that squeezed hard at the thought of Eddie spending time with other people. Which was ridiculous. Eddie was allowed to have friends that he didn’t know about. Yes, they were best friends but that didn’t mean they owed each other a free pass to their entire lives. He’d just have to get over this jealousy.
“Why’d you lie to Eddie?” He flew against the lockers at the sound of Hen’s voice at his side.
“Why-why do you think I lied to Eddie?”
Her incredulous gaze was nearly as intimidating as Athena’s (had she been getting pointers?). “Because you don’t have plans on Tuesday. Why did you tell him you did?”
Was he that obvious? Could everyone see that he was jealous and he wanted to sulk at home rather than spend the evening with his sister, distracted and wondering what Eddie was up to?
“I didn’t want him to feel bad. If he’s not going to Maddie’s, then I’m not going to be the odd one out – like he said.”
Hen perched herself beside him against the lockers, her scrutiny turning soft. “He invited you to join him, you could have gone out with his army buddies. Is there a reason you didn’t want to?”
He didn’t want to be a burden, he’d have nothing in common with them, he didn’t want to feel like an obligation, Eddie deserved a night out with friends who weren’t him.
“It just didn’t seem like my thing.” Drinking at a bar didn’t seem like his thing? Hen didn’t have to voice her question but he shrugged it off regardless. “I’ll probably just hit the gym and do some laundry. I’m way behind anyways.” He pushed off the wall of lockers before she could question his lies any further.
Of course, he hated lying to his friends. It seemed better than admitting that he was feeling petty and jealous – like a child – over something so silly.
No matter how guilty he felt for the way he was acting, it still hurt to see Eddie strolling into the station on Wednesday morning with a smile on his face. He looked brighter than he had in a long time (since Shannon, probably). And was there a bounce in his step? Surely, he was imagining it; but he did seem happy. That was all that mattered, right? As long as Eddie was happy, he’d learn to get over his jealousy and find other friends to occupy his time.
Or perhaps he’d just be alone forever. That seemed like a likely alternative. He would adjust, adapt; he’d figure it out and everything would be fine.
Four months later, he wanted to smack his past self in the face for thinking that he could have a normal, well-adjusted reaction to anything. He was the guy who overreacted, who felt things so deeply and blew everything out of proportion.
Of course, he would see Eddie finding other friends as a sign that there was something wrong with him, and thus should isolate himself from everyone in his life. The problem was: Eddie hadn’t changed – not really. Sure, he went out with the guys a few nights a month and always came back with a smile on his face and a few stories to tell that Buck got to hear with the rest of the crew. But he kept up their weekly game night, and pizza night, and their trip to the baseball game that he told himself was out of pity for the expense of the tickets (but really, he was just excited to spend some time with his friend).
Eddie was his usual self, it was Buck who started declining game night or ending pizza night early, or feigning illness when Eddie told him about adult night at the observatory. He was the one who was pushing his friend away because some selfish part of him couldn’t handle not having someone’s attention 24/7. The more he told himself of all the reasons he was wrong, the more convinced he became of his need to isolate.
He should have known better.
“Eddie? It’s midnight, what are you doing here?” He groggily answered the door, stumbling when his mind finally caught up with him. “What happened to Christopher?”
“He’s fine.” The man was quick to put his hands out in a calming motion, walking straight past him and into the apartment without invitation – not that Eddie ever needed an invitation. “He’s at a sleepover. I wanted to talk to you.”
He’d figured it out. He must have. Eddie knew that Buck was acting like a dick and wanted to cut ties completely. Why did he have to do it in the middle of the night when it was already so dark and cold?
“You see me every day.” He closed the door despite his own instinct to run away.
“This isn’t really a work conversation.” There it was: the truth.
“I need a drink.” Buck was circling the bar and reaching for the fridge before Eddie could protest. He turned back with two water bottles in his hand (a force of habit, he supposed) and slid the other to the man taking his usual seat on the island.
It was such a minor thing but Buck had always found it amusing that even though he had a perfectly good table a few feet over, the two of them always gravitated towards the kitchen bar/island – he couldn’t remember which. Perhaps there was something to that, but he couldn’t figure out what.
“So what is it?”
“Actually, that’s what I wanted to ask you.” Two minutes in and Eddie was already nervously picking at the label of his bottle. This was going to hurt. “You’ve been distant lately; cancelling plans, lying to avoid spending time together. I appreciate that you still make time to see Christopher but you and I haven’t hung out in months. What’s up?”
After the last time he and Eddie split up – that is to say, they were separated as teammates – he’d felt so guilty about his favourite kid getting caught in the crossfire. So, even if Eddie never wanted to see him again, he was going to do all he could to still be there for Christopher. Although, it seemed especially cruel to make Buck confess all his wrongdoings instead of just yelling at him and walking away.
“There’s nothing up, I’ve just been busy.” Why he bothered to try and lie to his best friend would forever remain a mystery.
“You’ve never been able to lie to me, Buck, I don’t know why you’re doing it now but I’m worried.”
“Worried?” This was not the response he was expecting at all. What would Eddie have to be worried about?
“I’m worried that I’m losing my best friend and I don’t know why.”
There were moments in a person’s life that struck as lightning – hard and fast and completely unexpected. And there were some that rolled like thunder – highly anticipated but when it finally arrived, nothing could prepare for the aftershock. Buck finally understood the feeling of releasing a long-held breath only to feel the sensations trickle down his body, leaving pins and needles in their wake.
“I don’t want to be your best friend anymore.”
No puzzle pieces formed together, there was no sense of relief after letting go of this realization, but the moment the words left his mouth, they rang with truth. He didn’t want to see Eddie as a best friend, vying for time and caring from the sidelines of his life. He wanted to be in Eddie’s life. He wanted something new. He wanted-
“You don’t want to be friends anymore, what?”
“No!” He stumbled over his own shoes in an attempt to recover from his own misstep. “Well, yes, but not in the way you’re thinking.”
“What other way is there, Buck?” He followed as Eddie instinctively stepped away, confusion and hurt marring his face. That suddenly, very kissable face.
One step at a time.
“The way where we are something other than friends. Something romantic.” He ventured, drawing out each word as they formed in his mind.
“Something…” Eddie’s voice trailed off and Buck was gifted with the display of emotions that crossed his face. Confusion, searching, conclusion, understanding, realization, surprise, and finally a soft, shaking “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.” Buck tried to smile in a comforting manner but it has difficult to concentrate when the air had left the room. “Is that okay?”
There had always been an understanding between the two men: words were not necessary for them to know what the other needed. They didn’t need to talk to come up with a plan to rescue someone from a three-story house. They didn’t need to talk to offer comfort after a call went badly and all they wanted was not to be alone. They didn’t need to talk to know when to pounce on Chimney when he had overplayed his turn on the game console. They knew each other – complimented one another in their silence – which made them an amazing team and wonderful friends.
In the silence following Buck’s question, he didn’t dare try to read Eddie’s expression, for fear of breaking his heart too soon.
“I-yeah it’s okay but,” Buck closed his eyes against the world. “I don’t know that I feel the same.”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” His mouth retreated from the conversation before his feet could make a decision. “But that’s why I’ve been…yeah.” When his feet finally caught up with his beating heart, they made their way towards the door. “So now that we’ve settled that, I’ll see you at work.”
Just get him out now. Do whatever you need to be alone. Get out. Find the silence so you can put yourself back together.
“Buck, shouldn’t we talk about th-”
“Nope.” He squeezed the handle to steady his shaking hands. “No, I think we’ve covered everything.” With a strength he didn’t possess, Buck opened the front door and stepped aside for Eddie to leave. “I’ll talk to you at work.”
He could hear the slow shuffling of Eddie’s steps as he made his way towards the door, stopping in front of Buck. They had never needed words to know what the other was saying (there had been days when they had been completely off and needed to make amends but with time, their skills had improved) and with just the steady breaths between them, Buck acknowledged Eddie’s apology and listened as he walked out the door.
It wasn’t until the engine of his truck roared out of the parking lot, that Buck allowed himself to close the door and wipe a hand over his face to clear the emotions he’d delicately kept at bay.
Eddie found himself numbly driving anywhere but home, his mind racing with the onslaught of realizations he’d been handed in such a short amount of time. How had he not seen it before? How had he not noticed the signs? How had he not understood how important that moment was? How had he not found the words to say he felt the same?
With nothing awaiting him at home, he drove for what felt like hours until he finally pulled up to his front door, feeling no less certain of what he should do next. Even so close to the safety of his bedroom, Eddie couldn’t bring himself to walk inside, choosing instead to lean against the steering wheel until the sun came up.
When he found himself burdened with so many conflicting thoughts, the only person he wanted to talk to was suddenly the only person he couldn’t share his fears with. What else was there to do but keep his emotions close to his chest until he could sort them out. Or maybe he’d make an appointment with Frank – that’s what he was for, right? – and see what an objective mind could come up with.
For now, he had to find the strength to go inside and get ready for work.
Because naturally he and Buck would be scheduled to work together the day after such an unsettling interaction. The universe would never give him an opportunity to adjust to his new mindset and perhaps come up with what he wanted to say to Buck. His friend deserved an answer – or perhaps closure – but he had nothing to give. No amount of sitting in his driveway with the engine turned off, would give him the words he needed to find before he was set to face Buck again.
Why is this a problem?
That question had drifted through his mind over again as the night slowly faded to daylight. He’d known for some time that Buck meant something significant to him. Perhaps it was in the role of best friend, or trusted partner, and occasionally he laid in bed wondering if he might mean something different – something romantic.
The thought of dating Buck hadn’t scared him the way he expected it might. In fact, he’d been circling around the daydream with startling frequency of late. So why, at the pivotal moment – the moment when he might actually get to fulfill those dreams – did he lie and say that he didn’t feel the same way? It was like he was predestined to break his own heart at every turn; first, he hurt his wife, then his son, then his best friend. But unlike with Shannon, Eddie had a chance to make up for his mistakes with the other two people who meant the world to him. He could spend the rest of his life apologizing to Christopher for leaving by showing up every single day. And he could apologize to Buck by…
By telling him the truth.
That the sudden confession had startled him and his brain hadn’t actually registered what he was saying until he was down the block. That he very much reciprocated, but he’d screwed up – like he always did (maybe he’d leave that part out).
He had to try, at least.
Besides, this was Buck. They always came back to each other; they always forgave each other.
“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Eddie blocked the other man’s path as they approached the station together. It hadn’t been difficult for Eddie to beat him to work and then all he had to do was wait. “Buck, I just want to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk, Eddie.” Buck side stepped his partner but Eddie caught him again. “Not right now. We have to focus on work.”
He’d never seen the man so pale and small. He was carefully balancing his work bag on one hunched shoulder, his neck and head cast down but even then, Eddie could see how tired his eyes looked, feel how cold his skin felt from exhaustion. Had either of them slept?
“What about after work? Come over and we’ll talk.”
“Talk about what?” It wasn’t quite a shout but they were quickly drifting into the territory of ‘not work appropriate levels of conversation’. “You told me you don’t feel the same – that’s fine. I just need a little time.” When Eddie moved to block his escape again, Buck looked into Eddie’s eyes properly for the first time all day and whispered “Please.”
Eddie let him pass.
Their shift together was uncomfortable to say the least. Buck barely spoke to anyone and his avoidance of Eddie was obvious to anyone who accidentally walked through the cold air between them. Eddie didn’t try to engage with him again but too often, he caught himself staring across the table at his friend, begging for some sign that this – like every other horrible thing between them – would pass.
As they packed up at the end of the day, he watched Buck sidestep Chimney’s attempts to engage in conversation, and nearly ran into Hen when she approached him – now doubt some tag team strategy to get the story from both parties at once.
Unfortunately for the paramedics, neither of the men were up for airing their dirty laundry. No, Eddie saved that for drinks with his army buddies a few nights later.
“So when are we actually going to meet this ‘Buck’ of yours?” Ian meant well (as well as he could when teasing his friends about his obvious crush). “I thought you were going to introduce us.”
Eddie stared into the bottom of his glass of ginger ale, wondering if it held any of the answers he so desperately needed. Instead, he downed the rest of his soda in one gulp. “Buck isn’t mine.”
“Ooh.” A few voices from the table echoed Sam’s ribbing. “Trouble in paradise?”
“You could say that.” He couldn’t exactly blame his loose tongue on the alcohol but he was sorely tempted to find a better excuse to share his feelings than simply ‘he needed someone to talk to’.
Like friends?
“Buck told me that he had feelings for me and I told him that I wasn’t sure I felt the same (even though that’s a lie). And now he’s freezing me out because I hurt him, but the only way I can make it up to him is if I talk to him. I don’t know how to make it right.”
It was an odd sensation to feel a weight lift off his chest – he was so used to carrying it all alone until he’d come to LA and even then, it was a hard habit to break – but confessing his frustrations to a room of receptive people did give him a sense of relief.
“Wait, hold on.” Ian shook his head. “You and Buck aren’t a couple? Could have fooled me, the way you go on about him.” Mostly receptive.
The trouble was: he wanted them to be a couple, and though he wasn’t sure Buck was still on board, he knew there was the potential to get everything he wanted. There was only one person who could get them there and it wasn’t any of the men sitting around the table in the dimly lit bar.
“We are not talking about my love life – or lack thereof – anymore.” He declared, rising to his feet. “The next rounds’ on me.” He was still waiting for their order when he felt a hand clap his shoulder and he jumped despite himself.
“Sorry,” Sam hissed in sympathy. “I should know better. I just wanted to say: fix it.” He grabbed half of the drinks as they were slid across the bar for Eddie to follow suit. “Do what you need to do to be happy – even if that means locking your boy in a closet until you sort it out.” Eddie held his balance as Sam lightly elbowed him with a smirk. “You talk about Buck like he’s someone special to you. Don’t lose that.”
It was Sam’s words that led Buck to open his door after midnight for the second time that week, to find an anxious Eddie eager to enter his apartment.
“What do you want, Eddie?” Without waiting for permission, the man walked through to the kitchen bar and began to lightly pace back and forth. He looked nervous, almost scared. What could he possibly have to say that was so terrifying? Was he fleeing the city because he couldn’t handle being around Buck any longer? No, that wasn’t it. Though his heart was still healing, he knew Eddie was not one to run away from his problems. Not that Buck was a problem. Was he?
“I want us to talk.” The man declared as he continued to run a hole in the hardwood floor. “And I don’t want you to kick me out again.”
Buck knew he’d been rash the other night in sending Eddie away before he could continue but the other option was listening to platitudes about their friendship (which he cherished greatly) and maintaining a professional attitude and he just couldn’t bring himself to hear it then.
The rest – the confrontation in the parking lot, the icing out – it had been to protect his heart while he readjusted the level of hope he was allowed to carry. He just needed time. Yet, here Eddie was, pushing his way through.
Just like you do.
“Fine.” He closed the door with just enough gracefulness to appease his grumpy neighbours. “Talk.”
Eddie stopped pacing when Buck approached. “No, we’re going to talk to each other.” He really didn’t want to talk about this awful situation between them. In fact, if they never spoke again, he would be perfectly content. He cursed his own traitorous heart for calling him a liar, then.
“What do you want me to say, Eddie?” He took the stool across from his friend when Eddie motioned for him to sit. Even now, it seemed important that the two of them never sat at the table.
“First, I want to ask you a question. Please be honest.” As much as his mind cried ‘no! You don’t owe him anything!’ his heart whispered ‘give him every chance’.
“Okay.”
“You said you were pulling away because you wanted to be something other than friends. Why?”
Buck couldn’t help the incredulous snort that escaped. “Why was I pulling away, or why do I want to be something other than friends? Because if I’m being honest, I’m trying to rethink that last one.” He silenced the voice shouting ‘liar’.
“No, why were you pulling away? What changed?”
His immediate response was to answer with ‘nothing’. To confess that nothing had changed except he suddenly came to his senses, even if those senses had gotten him hurt. But then, he let himself think back to the weeks and months when Eddie wasn’t around as often. When he suddenly had other people he would rather be with instead of him.
“I got jealous.” He confessed quietly. “You had your army buddies and you were spending less time with me. At first, I thought I was just jealous that you had other friends. It’s been just the two of us for some time and suddenly you weren’t always there.” He’d tried so hard to convince himself that he was just being selfish the way he always was; that he was simply meant to grow up and get over it. “Then I suddenly realized I wanted to be there with your friends – get to know them – but I didn’t want to be one of them.” Eddie’s eyes were too soft and bright to stare into any longer so he found a place on the counter between them that felt like neutral territory.
“I want you all to myself and I know that’s selfish but I want all of you.” Saying it out loud was meant to feel like relief but all Buck found was a pain in the center of his chest. “Seeing you and not knowing what to do: it was too hard. So I stepped back. And now that it’s all out there,” (And boy, was it all out there.) “I just need some time to readjust. That’s all I need.”
What he ‘needed’ was an infinite list of ever-changing desires, but several of the constants included Eddie and Christopher in his life. What he needed: was to put the genie back in the bottle and never realize his feelings in the first place. What he needed was to be happy.
“It’s not selfish.” He barely heard Eddie’s whispered words but he looked up to familiar, shining eyes. “Or if it is, then I’m selfish, too.”
It wasn’t quite like he’d heard a record scratch in his mind but the world most definitely stopped moving for a moment as his words set into place.
“You-what?”
Eddie reached out his hand but hesitated, placing it just between them. An offering instead of a command: Buck could answer if he wanted, when he was ready.
“When you told me…what you told me,” that was certainly one way of putting it. “I panicked.” Buck didn’t echo his nervous laughter but he did nothing to deter it, too lost in absorbing all of the new information.
“I thought maybe you meant it some other way, or I was dreaming, or I wasn’t good enough for you.” How could Eddie ever believe that he wasn’t good enough? Even if this was his long-winded way of letting him down gently, Buck made a promise to never let him believe that again. “So I told you that I wasn’t sure how I felt but that was a lie.”
The more Eddie spoke, the more Buck allowed his heart to take on just a little more hope. “And I wanted to tell you the truth but I could never get you alone.” Because Buck had made a point of walking in the other direction whenever Eddie entered the room, entirely born out of self-preservation that was, apparently, unfounded.
“You know my friends, they thought we were dating.”
“Wait, really?”
His laugh had elements of the joy he knew Eddie was capable of and it gave him permission to relax against the bar just a little bit. “Yup. They kept asking when they were going to meet the guy I couldn’t stop talking about. And then they told me to do what I need to do to be happy.” Eddie sighed in conclusion. “So I came here.”
Buck tried to speak a few times but no words ever came. He had let himself hope for this outcome too often, but it never felt like this. His heart felt as though it would burst from his chest and his ears were ringing like he was flying through high altitude. His eyes darting across Eddie’s face over and over, looking for a hint that he was being insincere but all he saw was the same terrified and shy desire that he assumed was in his own expression.
“So you like me?” Buck ventured.
“Yeah, Buck.” Eddie chuckled in return. “I like you.”
Good. “And I like you.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“And your friends think we’re dating.”
“They may have hinted at it, yes.”
It seemed a pity that Eddie’s hand was resting between them, completely unaccompanied, so Buck linked their fingers.
“Do you want to go on a date?”
It felt right, feeling Eddie’s thumb gently swipe across his skin and squeeze their fingers with all the joy they couldn’t express for fear of breaking their quiet bubble of hope.
“Honestly, I want to kiss you right now.” The shiver of anticipation was one he’d been waiting for, for a very long time. “But I’m also very tired. I haven’t really slept since that night.”
Buck found himself simultaneously relieved and guilty to learn that he hadn’t been alone in his sleeplessness so instead, he pulled Eddie to his feet.
“Do you have anywhere to be in the morning?” When Eddie shook his head, he smiled. “My bed’s pretty big. What do you say to sleeping – just sleeping – and then see about the rest of it in the morning.”
Without hesitation, he melted into Eddie’s smile. “That sounds perfect.”
--
He had done much scarier things in his lifetime – hell, he’d gone to war when he had a newborn son waiting for him at home – but somehow, walking into the pub with his boyfriend by his side was what really got him sweating.
“Hey,” Buck bumped his shoulder with an encouraging smile the way he had since the day they met. “it’s gonna go great.”
It didn’t entirely ease his anxiety but he also had the distinct realization that he could handle whatever happened because he wouldn’t have to handle it alone.
“I know.”
He spotted the group easily enough, the group of boisterous men in the corner booth, exchanging loud war stories and wiping up their sloshed drinks (because they were raised to be polite young men, thank you, ma’am). The moment they caught sight of Eddie they waved him over and the two made their way to join the platoon.
“Hey guys, I see you started drinking without me.” He greeted the men with a smile.
“Well Kelley started around noon.” Ian shoved his friend’s shoulder. “So unless you wanted to skip…whatever it is you two were doing before this…”
“We were at work.” Buck replied quickly with a mischievous smirk to his cheeks. The man really was shameless, even when he was telling the truth. “Hi, I’m Buck,” he extended his hand to the closest person – Sam – who took it immediately. “it’s nice to meet you all.”
Thankful for his boyfriend’s ability to charm the pants off of anyone he met (though the pants-loosing was a super power he reserved for one person in particular), Eddie allowed himself to relax into the evening. “Buck these are some of the men I was on tour with. This is Sam, Ian, Harry, Erik, and Cole.” Buck greeted them each with a polite nod and handshake. “Guys, this is Buck.”
“Please tell me you two are finally having sex.” Ian shook Buck’s hand enthusiastically, laughing at the double take from both men. “Eddie here has been mooning over you for months.”
If it were possible for the floor to swallow him whole, he would pray for an earthquake. The knowing look on Buck’s face, paired with the snickers from around the table, told him that he wouldn’t be hearing the end of it for some time.
“Mooning?” Buck teased as they took their seats next to one another. “Eddie, I had no idea you mooned.” He was well aware that they both mooned over one another (as evidenced by the amount of times Chimney had asked them to stop looking at each other while they were on duty before they were arrested for indecent exposure) but he didn’t correct his boyfriend.
“Suddenly I’m feeling very down to earth.” He rolled his eyes at Buck’s faux indignation before they turned their attention to the rest of the table. “So, what were we talking about?”
Erik waved him off without waiting for the others to respond. “Doesn’t matter. We want to talk to Buck here. I bet there’s some things he knows about Eddie that we’d like to know.”
He knew before he asked Buck to accompany him to guys’ night, that the boys would latch on to him and search for blackmail material. Fortunately, he came prepared.
“And I know there’s some things about these guys that Buck would find hilarious. Like, guess who got caught sneaking out of the captain’s quarters after someone set off the fire alarm. And they were naked. And so was the captain.”
It wasn’t difficult to discern the culprit from the blush in his cheeks, but Buck still snorted at Cole with a mixture of shock and approval.
“I was fired a few months into being a probie because I got caught stealing the firetruck to have sex. Twice.”
If there was one thing Eddie should have known, it was that Buck was as shameless as he was handsome. Of course, he would reveal stories about his life that even his partner hadn’t heard before.
“You said I couldn’t kiss you goodbye in the parking lot because we had to be professional!”
“Because I got fired for having sex in a firetruck.” Buck matched his indignant energy with a smile. “I’m not going to risk getting fired again.”
“It’s a kiss, Buck, we’re not going to get fired for a kiss (not in LA, anyways).”
“Well I know that if I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop. And the things I want to do to you would get us fired – even in LA.”
“You are both very horny and very sweet.” Eddie shoved his boyfriend lightly, to accompany his hidden smile of giddy joy. This thing between them was only a few weeks old and they were still learning what would change and what would stay exactly the same. So far, it had been nothing but happy adjustments and stolen kisses. Eddie knew exactly what Buck meant about never wanting to stop – and he hoped that feeling never went away.
“I feel so sorry for your coworkers.” They snapped to Sam, taking in the snickers from the other men as they came back to reality. “I don’t know how they get anything done with you two like this constantly.”
“They don’t.” The pair replied in unison, earning another round of laughter from the table.
Eddie recovered first. “Enough about us, we’re here to spend a night among friends, so whose gonna by us a drink?”
Truth be told: Eddie didn’t mind the sniggering or taunting because it all came from a place of love – a place he wasn’t sure he’d ever find like this. He had his son, his family, his friends, his partner, and even if it wasn’t perfect, there was certainly hope.
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emberfrostlovesloki · 4 years ago
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# 5 Daddy Issues
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Gif credit: @undertheniall​
Prompt: Daddy Issues - When the reader attacks an unsub the team doesn’t know how to react. After an awkward day in the office Spencer works up the courage to find out what is going on with the reader, and they both find out they have a similar childhood fear. 
Couple: Spencer Reid/ Reader (female)
Category: Angst / Comfort
Content Warning: Hostage situation, mentions of child abuse, language 
A/N: Well here I am writing angst again. I really like the way this story turned out. I wanted to thank everyone for all the interaction with my posts, it means a lot. Also, I only have a basic knowledge of rock climbing, sorry if I got some things wrong. I hope you enjoy this new addition! Like/ Reblog please. 
_y/n_ = your name 
_y/l/n_ = your last name
_f/s_ = face shape
_h/l_ = hair length 
Link to other stories 
Word Count: 5k
The current case that the BAU team was facing was related to three seemingly unrelated murders in a small town in Ohio. It wasn’t until more information had come forward that Spencer nailed down the unsub’s identity. Jason Kloch, married father of three, had killed his family's bank teller, pastor and wife’s best friend once he heard that his wife was planning on divorcing him. Jason was currently holed up in his two story house, holding his family hostage. The team had made multiple calls to try and negotiate a peaceful resolution for the innocent members of Jason’s delusions, however nothing had come from those conversations. Now the team was driving over to the house to confront the unsub face to face. The FBI had tapped the family’s phone line and found out that Jason was planning on killing his wife and children and then himself that evening. With this information the team immediately took action, thus speeding to the family residence. Once they got to the picturesque white home the team split up into smaller units. J.J., Gideon and Spencer went to look at the backyard. Hotchner, Morgan, _y/n_ and Prentiss crept inside the home. Aaron signaled for _y/n_ and Derek to take the upstairs, while he and Emily would check the downstairs and basement. _y/n_ carefully walked up the stairs, avoiding the weak spots that would squeak with their weight. _Y/n_ could hear a one sided conversation coming from the largest bedroom and pointed in that direction. The duo approached the closed door. Both agents held their guns in front of their chests. Morgan used his fingers to count down, three, two, one. At one _y/n_ kicked the door in and pointed her Colt M4 in the direction of the bed. Jason was on the bed with his wife. The unsub had a gun that he immediately pointed at his wife’s head. The woman made a terrified sound against her gag as the deranged man threatened her. _Y/n_ said, “Mr. Kloch you don’t want to do this,” as Derek joined the female agents in pointing his weapon at the unsub. Jason pulled his wife off the bed with him. He pressed the metal barrel closer to his wife’s head. He replied, “You don’t understand anything.” The unsub looked _y/n_ up and down and continued, “You look like a real treat. I bet if I had married you you wouldn’t have tried to leave me like this bitch did.” _Y/l/n_ ignored the comment and took a step closer to the unsub. Morgan then said, “Jason, I know you want to keep your family together, but by killing them you won't accomplish any of that. If you let Mary [Jason’s wife] go you can have a chance to see your children again. Jason was starting to slip out of reality and he shouted, “Don’t you fucking tell me what to do! She does it all the time.” Jason waved his gun around wildly before he put it behind Mary’s cranium again. As the man began to slide his finger further on the trigger _y/n_ had one last attempt to stop yet another murder. She said in a seductive voice, “You said I was a treat earlier. Would you like to see some more?” The unsub was clearly startled by the offer and momentarily pulled the gun away from Mary’s skull. The man focused again and said, “Yeah, if I’m gonna die today I might as well see some cute tit’s and ass before I do.” 
` Morgan looked over to _y/n_ and shook his head no at her. _Y/l/n_ looked back at him with as reassuring a glance as she could muster. The female agent slipped off one side of her blazer, then switched her gun from one hand to the other. With another shake the blazer fell to the floor. _Y/n_ took a step toward Jason. She still held onto her gun with her right hand, with the left she started unbuttoning her shirt. The woman stopped at the fourth button, where her shirt intersected with her bullet proof vest. Now that the woman’s clavicle was on display she stepped even closer to the unsub. When she was about two feet away from him she asked, “Do you like it.” At this statement Jason’s hand, holding the gun started shaking violently. Once the tip of the deadly weapon was off of Mary’s head agent _y/l/n_ lunged at the man. The pile of bodies on the floor writhed in a mess of arms and legs. Morgan ran over to the group and quickly pulled Mary out of the way and helped her to the bed. While this was happening _y/n_ had kicked the gun from Jason’s hand, and was punching him on the head and chest. For a moment the man flipped over on _y/n’s_ chest  and tried to overpower her. The agent quickly kneed the man in the groin and bucked her hips up causing Jason to flip onto his back. _Y/n_ gave one last strong upper cut and the man was knocked out. Seeing this fact Morgan relaxed for a moment. Aaron entered the room to see what was happening to his team. When he ascertained the situation he lowered his gun. Unfortunately _y/n_ was still hitting the body of the unconscious man. With a voice of authority Hotch said, “Agent _y/l/n_ stop. The woman had heard her supervision but continued to beat the man. Morgan quickly got up and grabbed _y/n’s_ waist and easily lifted the lithe girl off the unsub. Derek held on to her with enough strength that she couldn’t move her hands anymore. Morgan said, “I need you to calm down _y/n_. Take some deep breaths.” After a minute or two the agent relaxed in his arms, she looked up to Aaron with a sad expression. Her supervisor returned the look with one of apprehension. 
Thirty minutes later, when Mary and her children had been taken to the hospital for a check up, and Jason had been cuffed and taken into custody, Spencer, and the FBI team that had helped them with the case were filling out a report on the room. In another corner of the room Aaron was having a conversation with Derek about what had happened in the room before he got there. From what Spencer could hear it didn’t sound like _y/n_ had acted like herself at all. Spencer stood up from his position on the floor and momentarily looked out the window. He could see J.J. and _y/n_ were having a conversation. Or, what looked more like an argument. J.J. was standing with her arms crossed across her chest and _y/n_ was gesturing with her hands. After another minute the media liaison shook her head and walked away from the other agent. Spencer could see _y/n_ shoulders moving up and down as if she was trying to control her breathing. Then the agent pulled her fist back and hit the side of the house sharply. Spencer flinched at the action. It looked like it must have hurt. Before the svelte agent could consider what had happened between his coworker one of the other groups FBI agent’s approached him with a form to look over and sign. In another two hours the team was on the jet back to Quantico. There was a strange tension on the plane. _Y/n_ was not her normal bubbly self. She had even refused to play Spencer at chess, one of her favorite things. Instead, the agent had put on headphones and took a seat at the back of the jet. She had her legs pulled up to her chest and had wrapped her arms around them, like a child when they were frightened. The team gave her a wide breadth, not wanting to disturb her. They didn’t really know what to do, because she had never acted this way before. They all hoped that tomorrow she would be back to normal. When the plane landed Morgan gave her a hug as they exited the aircraft. As she passed by Aaron he looked at her with a blank expression, this made the young woman shiver before she quickly moved toward her car. 
The next day at headquarters when _y/n_ entered the bullpen Hotchner called her up to his office. The young agent closed the door behind her and stood in front of his desk. Aaron looked up at her and said, “Please take a seat _y/l/n_.” The agent did and placed her arms at the edge of her supervisor's desk. Hotchner tilted his head slightly and said, “You know why you’re here, right.” Upon hearing this _y/n_ hung her head and replied, “Yes Sir.” Hotch nodded and said, “Would you like to tell me what happened yesterday with Jason Kloch?” _Y/n_ kept her head down but turned her eyes to the man that she saw as a father figure and said, “I apologize that my emotions got in the way of my job yesterday. I know that it was unprofessional and unneeded.” Hotch took in the words and replied, “You not only acted unprofessionally with your outburst, but you also put yourself in unnecessary danger by approaching the unsub in the manner that you did. Unfortunately I’m going to have to ask you to take a psychiatric evaluation. Pending the results of your exam I will decide whether or not to include it in your file.” _Y/n_ nodded. She knew that her actions could get her fired, and she was grateful that he was giving her this much of a chance. Hotchner had one last question, so he looked up at her and honestly asked, “I need to know what’s happening with my team _y/n_. I’m asking you to tell me truthfully what caused your outburst yesterday? What’s going on?” The female agent sat silently for a minute, thinking about how to reply. After the uncomfortable silence she said, “The relationship you had with your father Sir, it’s the same kind of relationship I had with mine. Every time I see an unsub that’s abusing their power over innocent women and children I see my father beating the crap out of me again. I see him hitting my mom and sister, holding us hostage. Mr. Kloch made me do something I never thought I would. I’m going to have to live with that the rest of my life, Hotch.” At hearing the story Aaron pressed his lips together making them form a thin line. Hotchner knew how the girl was feeling, what it was like to face a person just like the one you were forced to live with when you were young. He got the pent up anger, and fear of becoming the same thing yourself. The supervision replied, “I understand you agent _y/l/n_. I’ve scheduled your exam for tomorrow morning. You're free to go.” _Y/n_ stood up, and as she reached the door Hotch said, “I’m sorry.” _Y/n_ gave the smallest smile, nodded and left the room. Hotch sat back down and thought, ‘I don’t think the results will be a problem. But if they are I’ll get _y/n_ the help she needs. And I’m sure as hell not letting her off the team.’
_Y/n_ had stayed quiet after her evaluation the next day. She was working through the case files on her desk when Spencer approached her. The tall agent had decided that he needed to find out what was bothering his friend. When she was acting too differently the whole team dynamic shifted to a weird nebulous area of hesitation. Spencer wasn’t doing this only for his own comfort, he was doing it because he remembered how many times other members of the team had offered to help him when he needed it. He knew that _y/n_ trusted him, in fact she would tell him loads of information, about her day, her best friend, the new film she had seen. And he loved hearing her enthusiastic conversations. When he was stressed, or having trouble sleeping he would call her and let her go on and on. Spencer also liked that she didn’t just talk to talk, the woman had a thesis and sources to back up her rants. This reminded him of himself, and he found it comforting. Their conversations had become such a staple of their working relationship that she would call him when she was stressed, and ask him to talk about his latest paper, or how the thermodynamics of the universe worked. He wanted to hear her voice again. Therefore he was standing beside her desk. _Y/n_ looked up at him and smiled. She set down the file she was examining and said, “Hey Spencer, what’s up?” Reid smiled back, he was about to make an offer that she couldn’t refuse. He replied, “I’ve been wanting to go to Earth Treks after work for a while, and since we don’t have a case I was wondering if you wanted to come with?” At hearing this _y/n’s_ eyes lit up. Earth Treks was a rock climbing gym close to the Quantico base. Spencer knew that _y/n_ had a membership and went at least three times a week after work. One time after a difficult case for him, she had dragged him to the gym to clear his head. It had been beneficial, because all he could really do was focus on his footing and handholds. He wasn’t good, but he had tried. Spencer snapped back to reality when she replied, “I’d love that Spence. I’ll meet you in the garage at five.” Reid smiled and said, “Cool, see you then.” The tall agent moved back to his desk a few feet away, relieved that his plan had worked. 
Spencer met _y/n_ at the parking garage after the work day was over. She gave him a hug and he opened the passenger side door of his car for her. The sound of classical music on Spencer’s car stereo filled the silence for a few minutes before _y/n_ asked, “So, what makes you want to go climbing all of a sudden?” Reid kept his eyes on the road as he replied, “I just wanted to do something different. You know how work can be, how I can be. If I get caught up in my head I work less efficiently.” _Y/n_ giggled at his response and said, “Spencer, even if you were working at fifty perscent capacity I don’t think anyone on the team could work as quickly as you do. Excluding Penelope, because she’s also super fast, but more chaotic, and more likely to break a law to stalk an ex-boyfriend.” Reid smiled and took a second to look over to his passenger and continued the conversation saying, “Well, honestly this last case has made me a little uneasy, I’ve missed seeing and talking to you.” _Y/n_ looked over at Spencer when he finished the statement. She looked hurt for a second, and then disappointment took its place on her _f/s_ features. She knew that she had seen Spencer everyday since the case. She knew he wasn’t just talking about missing her presence, he missed the person she was before their last case. She turned her eyes away from him so she wouldn’t have to see her friend be unsure of her. It really hurt her that this whole situation was happening. She didn’t want to have to explain herself to the whole team; or more accurately, that she would have to talk to Spencer about why she was acting this way. She didn’t want to burden him more. 
When the pair got to Earth Treks they got out of the car and entered the building. _Y/n_ swiped her membership card and went to the front desk to get Spencer in for free using her rewards points. As Spencer signed a release form and got his pair of shoes from the worker at the desk, _y/n_ was taking off her shoes and putting her duffle bag and tennis shoes in a cubby hole. Spencer walked up to her and started doing the same. Both agents had their workout clothes and shoes and moved past the gym space and into the bathrooms and changing areas. Both went into their respective gender’s area and changed and put on their climbing shoes.  Spencer and _y/n_ came out of the changing rooms at the same time and started to walk back to the area that they needed to drop their personal belongings at  when _y/n_ saw that one of the belays was open on the wall at the far end of the gym. She turned to Spencer and said, “Hey Spence, I’ll put your clothes up if you run over and grab that spot.” _Y/n_ pointed to the wall and Reid said, “Sure thing.” He handed his clothes to his friend and started toward the far wall. _Y/n_ held Spencer clothes close to her chest, feeling their warmth. She quickly snapped out of her reverie and moved to the storage space. She wanted to think about how calming being close to Spencer made her, but she knew now was not the time for those mental fantasies. She stuffed her clothing into the slot she had selected, but took the time to fold Reid’s clothes and place them next to his converse. When _y/n_ finished with her friend's clothes she grabbed her harness and ropes to belay with. When she arrived at the wall with Reid she looked at the routes open on the wall. She looked at Spencer and asked, “Do you want to go first? I can belay.” The lanky man looked up at the high wall, an appearance of apprehension on his face. _Y/n_ saw this and said, “If you look at the pink route I think you’ll be able to make it. It’s only an A 5.3 grade. I can walk you through it if you need help.” Spencer looked at the beginner climb and said, “Okay, I’ll try it, but only because I know you want to use this wall.” _Y/n_ gave a slight huff, knowing that Spencer was being honest. The more adept climber pulled the ropes down and handed Spencer the two clips to attach to his harness, while she oriented the ropes in a safe way for her to pull up her friend. Once she had done this she looked to Spencer who was still trying to attach the main safely clip to his harness. She sighed and grabbed the karabener from him and slipped it open. She then grabbed the loop on the harness that encircled Spencer’s waist. _Y/n_ tried not to think too hard about the area her hands were close to as she clipped the final safety precaution to her friend. The woman tugged up on the two ropes to ensure they were on correctly before quickly moving her hands away from his body. 
Spencer’s train of thought was clearly somewhere more focused as the man put his hands and feet at the beginning of the ascent. _Y/n_ grabbed the ropes from the belay and stepped a few feet back and said, “Alright you’re good to go.” Spencer moved up the wall easily until about half way up the route. When he started getting nervous _y/n_ told him where to move his limbs that led him to the top of the wall. After Spencer had finished his climb _y/n_ found an employee of the gym to belay her while Spencer watched her complete a more difficult ascent. After another hour and a half of climbing on the tall walls and the bouldering section of the gym the agents were tired out. The friends ended up changing and heading out of the gym _y/n_ had almost forgotten the awkward circumstances they had arrived in. She asked Spencer, “Hey, would you like to go to Insomniac, it will be my treat?” Spencer smiled at the offer and said yes. Insomniac was his favorite coffee shop in D.C. It was the first place that he and _y/n_ had hung out after work. As he drove them to their next destination Spencer couldn’t stop looking at _y/n_, and her relaxed face as it leaned back against his car seat. She had her eyes closed, enjoying the smooth movements of the road moving beneath her. Spencer reminded himself that he was here to find out what was bothering his friend, nonetheless he still had a hard time letting go of the warm feeling he had in his chest. 
When his car pulled into the gravel driveway of the coffee shop the two walked into the building and placed their regular orders; like they belonged there. Once _y/n_ had her matcha latte and a shot of espresso and Spencer had his coffee with a cup of sugar, the pair moved to the outside seating area. As _y/n_ teased her friend about his sugar consumption the man looked around and the twinkling lights that surrounded the patio  they were seated in. Reid breathed in time with the twinkling lights until his heart rate calmed. He couldn’t really understand why his breath had been racing before. Once _y/l/n_ had taken a short respite on her conversation about the primary themes of Inception, a topic she would bring up once a month at least, always presenting a new case to why it was the best 21st century film, Spencer held up his hand. _Y/n_ looked up to him as he said, “_Y/n_ I need to know what’s going on with you. I can’t be a good friend to you if I don’t know what’s bothering you.” The pained look was back on _y/n’s_ features as she heard what he had to say. The woman quickly replied, “Do you not trust me Spencer. Does seeing me act differently make you uncomfortable, do I make you uncomfortable now!” She said it with more anger than she intended, and when the statement was out she shut her mouth quickly, angry that her emotions had so prominently made themselves known. Spencer said, “I’ll always trust you _y/n_. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on.” When Spencer said this tears started forming in _y/n’s_ tear ducts. She looked away from him and took a deep breath before turning to him. She put her hand out on the table, hoping that he would place his fingers over hers. She quickly pulled her arm back when she realized that this was an inappropriate thing to want or assume from him. He didn’t owe her physical affection, even if she wanted it. She looked down at the table and made the decision that if she didn’t let Spencer into her past she might lose him forever. She continued by saying, “My mother left me, my older brother and sister when I was seven. I always assumed she would come back and she never did. It was fine at home until my brother left for college, which my father paid for. He had assured all of us that he would help us some way once it was our turn to leave home. Well once my brother was gone my father changed his tune. When it was close for me to apply to universities my dad told me that women belonged in the home, and that I should be looking for a husband, not a degree. He started drinking. He’d come home and try and beat my sister. I stopped him.” When she said this Spencer noted how she clutched her arms over her chest in a protective gesture. 
She continued with the story, “One night during a screaming match with my father he told me that he had saved up money for our college fund. But after our brother had moved out he had spent the rest of the fund on gambling and a ponzi scheme that had failed. When I turned eighteen I took my sister and ran, like my mom had years before. I worked my ass off to get where I am today. I still work my ass off because I’m paying for half of my sister’s college education.” It was at this point that the tears fell down from her face. Talking about the past reopened old wounds that she had ignored for years. Again she turned her face away from him, trying to hide her pain. Spencer felt very bad about this and he reached across the table to put his right hand over hers. He squeezed her palm, applying consistent pressure in an interval of ten seconds with a break of five seconds. He knew that it was a way to physiological calm the human body. After a few minutes the woman relaxed. Spencer said, “I’m so sorry to hear that. Your childhood doesn’t determine your current situation.” He was trying to be very logical with his approach, but when she replied, “I know that. But I don’t want you or anyone on the team throwing me a pity party. I’ve already done enough of that. But Spencer,” She looked at him squarely in the face and said, “But more importantly, yesterday with the unsub I absolutely went off on the unsub. Derek had to pull me off of him. The unsub reminded me of my dad and I lost control. Spencer what if I become just like my father? I can’t live with myself if that’s what I become.” _Y/n_ was absolutely shaking with fear. And Spencer realized that earlier, after the case and in the office and in his car, that she wasn’t afraid of anyone else, she was afraid of herself. The lithe man got up from his chair and knelt down next to her chair and pulled his arms around her neck. Her tears fell hot and large on his shoulder. The man used his right hand to rub circles into her upper back and his left to run up and down through her _h/l_ hair. He didn’t let go when she stopped sobbing, instead he said, “You know my father left me and my mom?” Spencer could hear her swallow and felt her head move up and down, saying yes. He continued, “Well after I got my third degree I tried reaching out to him. He sent me a letter telling me to fuck myself, and never speak to him again. Then a year later I got hired by the BAU. I stopped seeing my mom. I thought that I had abandoned her like he had. Once I thought about that I was doing I started writing to her daily. I remind myself that I’m not the man he was, and I never will be.” At hearing Spencer’s confession _y/n_ moved her hands to either side of Spencer’s head and pulled his face up to look at hers. When they were looking at each other he said, “You’re not the monster your father was. You’re a hundred times stronger than him because you catch people like him everyday, and you’re still happy, optimistic  and lovely to be around. _Y/n_ shifted in her seat so Spencer’s waist and hips were between her legs. She placed her forehead on his and asked, “Do you ever go home and think that there’s a black shadow stalking you. Mocking  everything you’ve accomplished?” Spencer had his eyes closed and was considering how her breath smelled like grass and steamed milk with the addition of coffee and replied, “For me it’s more like a black hole. Something that should have been there, but never really existed in the first place; or only existed in my head.” 
The pair stayed in their current position for a moment before _y/n_ asked, “Can I kiss you Spencer? Can I understand what it feels like to be that close to you?” He nodded his head yes, He didn’t say yes verbally, more of a ‘un’ sound. _Y/n_ leaned in as he raised his chin up and their lips met in a moment of pure peace. There was no pity or shame in the past, just a secureness of the moment. After the pair had separated they shared stories and moment’s of their lives that made sense to know about each other. And with each passing word they both felt more secure in each other's arms. The next morning _y/n_ went to each member of the team and individually apologized for how she had acted over the past two days. When she saw Hotchner he said that her results from the psych eval came in. Her supervisor held up the file and dropped it in the waste basket beside his desk, giving the girl a hug after she had apologized. Morgan couldn’t ignore that she and Spencer were wearing the same clothes as they had been yesterday, and that _y/n’s_ car had stayed in the parking garage all night. Spencer and _y/n_ hadn’t done anything too indecent yet. They had just gone back to Reid’s apartment and watched Inception while they debated the theme and kissed some more. However, Derek did see the two sneak a kiss at the coffee pot in the break room. He wouldn’t bring it up in front of the whole team, instead he would corner Spencer and demand an explanation. Morgan was very happy for them and he couldn’t wait to be a third wheel on one of their dates, he was sure it would be interesting to watch.
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wrenhyperfixates · 4 years ago
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Birthday Wish
Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: It’s your birthday and all you want to do is spend a quiet day with Loki. Unfortunately, he’s decided to plan you a crazy party. Can you get your wish by the end of the night? Warnings: none A/N: It’s my birthday today (10/6), so I whipped up this quick little fic 🥳 I’ve been reflecting on everything like I usually do at this time of the year, and I just wanted to take a quick minute and say thank you to all the people who support me and read my stories. All the love I’ve been getting from you guys has made these past few months some of the best in my life! Please enjoy :)
Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiantfavs​ @lunarmoon8​
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Disclaimer: Gif not mine
The blaring of your alarm clock woke you up for the third time that morning. You rolled over and hit the stop button this time, rather than the snooze, determined to get up. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you decided that you really ought to start going to bed at a reasonable hour. As your vision focused, you noticed a small box wrapped in white paper with multicolored happy birthday text printed on it. The neat green bow on top clued you in to who had left it before you even read the gift tag. You tore into the wrapping paper and opened the golden box inside, expecting a bracelet or some other piece of jewelry. Instead, you were greeted with a silver key.
“What are you up to, Loki,” you muttered, pinching the key between your thumb and forefinger.
Finding no clues on how to use your mysterious present, you finally dragged yourself out of bed and trudged into the bathroom. You eyed the shower for a minute, contemplating just splashing some water on yourself instead and calling it a day, before turning it on. You let the cold spray wake you up, turning your face towards the shower head. Once you felt alert enough, you changed the water to a more comfortable temperature. A part of you wanted to stay in here forever, or at least for the rest of the day, but that damned key had captured your interest. As you toweled off, you caught a whiff of your favorite shampoo, which you’d just lathered in your hair. Incidentally, it was Loki’s favorite too, and with any luck, he’d be smelling it later during some birthday snuggles.
After slipping on your coziest outfit, you walked out of your room and towards the kitchen. You could already smell the bacon sizzling and waffles being made. It caused an embarrassing grumble to sound from your stomach as you rounded the corner, but it was drowned out by your teammates shouting “happy birthday” in a boisterous cacophony.
“Happy Birthday, dove,” Loki whispered in your ear as he scooped you up in a hug, his godly strength making it easy to pick you up and spin you around.
“Thank you, Loki,” you giggled, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
You received hugs from the rest of the Avengers as someone slid a plate piled high with breakfast foods in front of you. This time last year you’d still just been an intern at SHIELD. It hadn’t taken long for Tony to notice your skills and offer you a job at Stark Industries, a position you’ve been glad to have gotten more and more every day. Now here you were, who knows how many field missions later, a part of the team and surrounded by a beautiful chosen family. Not to mention a very caring, raven-haired boyfriend who treated you like royalty.
“This is perfect, guys. Thank you,” you said, beaming at the group.
“This is nothing,” Tony responded. “Wait until your party later.”
“A party, huh?” you parroted, stuffing a forkful of fruit in your mouth so no one could see your frown. “Just us, right?”
“Nope,” Tony informed. “A bunch of your old coworkers from SHIELD, all the people who work in the Tower, owners of businesses we outsource to, and probably some other groups I’m missing. Don’t look so down, it’ll be fun. And the best part is Loki planned it,” he finished with a wink at the god.
“Oh?” you questioned, your eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “Well, I’m sure it’ll be great then.”
You changed the topic before someone could comment on how shocked and disingenuous you sounded. Not only did that not seem like something Loki would do, it also meant he didn’t know you as well as you thought he did. You didn’t want to be ungrateful, but large parties just weren’t really your thing. You much preferred a quiet day with your friends. But if your boyfriend planned it, you were sure you would enjoy it. Maybe it was like a reverse surprise party or something, and they told you it would be a crazy party when it would actually just be a fun little movie night. Loki always has a trick up his sleeve, you knew, and you were sure that whatever it was, you’d enjoy it.
Sadly, your certainty was gone as you pulled on your jeans that evening. Giving yourself a once-over in the mirror, you decided that you looked ready for a party, though on the inside you were anything but. A knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts, and you went to open it, expecting Loki to be there to escort you. Instead, you were greeted with Wanda, Bucky, and Peter holding a plastic bag filled to the brim with neon props.
“Whatcha got there?” you asked your best friends, letting them into your room.
“Your accessories for the evening,” Wanda replied, placing a neon pink feather boa around your neck.
“You pick first!” Peter added, holding up two pairs of light-up shutter shades.
At least this part of your evening was fun. You’d been reduced to nothing but a laughing mess on the floor multiple times as you all figured out which accessories to wear. Finally, you ended up with the pink boa from Wanda, blue sunglasses Peter picked, a green fedora of your own choosing, and a bunch of glow stick bracelets that Bucky was amazed and obsessed with.
“We should probably get going,” you ventured, glancing at the clock. “Don’t want to be late.”
“Or we could just stay here,” Bucky offered. “I mean, do any of us really want to go?”
You all shifted your weight, seriously considering hiding in your room for the rest of the night. Deep down, you knew you would never actually do that, not after Loki put effort into planning it for you. Something about that still didn’t sit right with you, though.
“No. We should go.”
“Why? I mean, they invited so many random people that no one will notice if we’re not there.”
“Bucky,” Wanda hissed, throwing a pillow at his head. Sadly for her, his reflexes were too quick, and he caught it with a shrug of his shoulders. “People will notice if the guest of honor isn’t there.”
Before anyone could argue the point further, there was another knock, and this time it was Loki. He pecked your lips before taking in your goofy outfit.
“There you are, dove. I’ve been looking for you,” he said with a small chuckle.
“Don’t worry, we were just on our way,” you told him, noticing a few glow bracelets on his wrist. You added it to your mental list of odd things to happen on your birthday. “Come on, guys.”
“Actually, if you do not want-”
“There you are,” Tony greeted as he appeared around the corner. “You’re missing the party of the century.”
“You didn’t need to send a whole committee,” Wanda said, grabbing your wrist and pulling you out into the hall. “See, we’re halfway there already.”
Everyone crammed into the elevator, looking rather glum. Except for Tony, that is. He was blowing on a noisemaker as soon as the door opened. Not that you could hear it very well over the pounding music of the DJ.
“Uh, great party Mr. Loki,” Peter shouted over the noise, flashing a thumbs up before exiting the elevator with Wanda and Bucky.
“Yes, thank you spiderling,” Loki distractedly said, putting an arm out to stop you from leaving, too. “Dove, I’ve been trying to tell you all day-”
He was cut off once again by Tony, who was now at the front of the room and pointing towards you. There was a round of applause as he announced you as the special guest, and you awkwardly waved, feeling unsure of yourself in front of so many people. You were not exactly a social butterfly, and Loki knew that. You still couldn’t figure out why he had thrown you this party. And then there was the matter of that key from this morning. You patted the front pocket of your jeans to ensure it was still there. It was, but you had no idea how to use it. Maybe that’s what Loki’s been trying to tell you.
About half an hour later, he pulled you away, clearly too impatient to wait any longer to get his words out. You hadn’t even finished making the rounds, but then again you barely knew half the people there, anyway. They probably wouldn’t miss you, in that case. After all, it was more Tony’s party than yours. And that’s when it hit you.
“You didn’t actually plan that, did you?” you asked Loki as the elevator doors closed behind you.
“Took you long enough to figure it out, dove,” Loki said with a smirk. “But you are correct. It was Stark, not me.”
“But why did he give you the credit then?”
“He thought I did not know Midgardian birthday customs well enough,” Loki answered as his nose scrunched up in distaste. “ I suppose he thought he was doing me a favor. The one thing he forgot, though, is that I know you quite well.”
You exited onto the floor of the library and your boyfriend pulled you off to some hidden nook, proudly gesturing to a small key hole in the wall. You pulled out his present and looked at him inquisitively. One eager nod from Loki later, you were turning the key and greeted by a small clicking sound. A hidden door slid open and revealed a cozy room complete with your favorite foods, a couch laden with pillows and blankets, and a fire crackling in an ornate hearth.
“Loki!” you gasped, “It’s perfect, my love.”
“Only the best for you, dove.”
Then he brought you over to the cushions and, after making sure you were comfortable, began to hand feed you your favorite sweets. Once he was done with that, you snuggled into his side as he stroked your hair and placed a kiss to your temple. It was what you’d been longing for since you got out bed that morning.
“Happy Birthday,” he said to you later that evening after reading your favorite poems in that deep, melodic baritone of his voice.
“Thank you. This truly is everything I’ve ever wished for.”
“That is too bad. I have one more gift to give you, but if you are perfectly happy right now, perhaps you do not want it.”
“No,” you said, eyes wide with interest. “Now I have to know. Can I please have it, Loki?”
“Your wish is my command.”
Then he pressed a lingering kiss to your lips, filled with passion and love that words would never be able to truly express. You melted in to him and reciprocated with just as much feeling. Now this, you thought, is one hell of a birthday gift. I really do have everything.
119 notes · View notes
julyarchives · 4 years ago
Text
Die For You
Being taken hostage turns out to be what you needed to find what you have always been  looking for. 
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→ Pairing: Kino x Reader
→ Genre: Horror
→ Words:  4.4K
→ Contains: Horror; Death; Blood; Stockholm Syndrom, Psychopath Stalker; Stabbing. Murder.
→ A/n: It is still halloween for us! This is our second story to celebrate this time of the year! This story is for the horror fans, and it was a lot of fun to write. We hope you all enjoy it!
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You woke up without the memory of falling asleep. Your head was still dizzy and you felt your shoulders and back very stiff. You attempted to stretch them but soon realized that something was constricting you. 
That’s when your eyes shot wide open in panic. You were tied up to a chair, completely unable to move. You struggled, trying to move and set you free, but your efforts were in vain. Any screams or sounds coming from you were muffled by the piece of cloth tied securely around your mouth.
The surroundings were unknown by you. It looked like a warehouse, illuminated by purple and pink lights, as well as some candles scattered around. The place was slightly cluttered with a few piles of books, which you recognized by the cover as some of your personal favorites, a guitar propped against a black leather couch.
There were also a bunch of long stemmed roses decorating the place, if you could call that decoration. Some of the flowers’ petals had already fallen and danced around with the light breeze that came from one of the high broken glass windows.
“Oh, great, you woke up” a cheerful voice startled you, making you jump in your seat.
A boy appeared in front of you, closing a heavy sliding metal door behind him, and the loud noise it made didn’t seem to bother him at all. He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt underneath, topped with a bolo tie beautifully adorned by a blue gemstone in the center. 
His raven hair was messy, looking as he’s been running his hands through it after attempting to style it. He had make up on his face, but it was poorly applied, leaving eyeshadow smudges across the outer corner of his eye, just as the lip tint was smeared around the lips.
His face was very sweet looking despite the mad smile he was shooting you.
He approached you, crouching down to look you in the eyes, and gently pulled the gag away from your mouth.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here, have you been up for so long?” he asked with a concerned and apologetic tone.
“What do you want from me?” your voice was so small it was barely audible. Your whole body was shaking and the tears were rolling freely down your cheeks.
He tilted his head as if he didn’t understand your question, eyeing you curiously. He reached his hand to dry your tears, but you flinched away.
“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.” He stated softly before proceeding with his action, his touch so soft you could barely feel it. “I even used silky ropes, so your wrists wouldn’t bruise 
You couldn’t bring yourself to answer. What would you even answer anyway?
“Anyway, we have the whole evening to ourselves! What do you wanna do? I’ve got all of your favorite books and there’s some food if you’re hungry. I could also pick up some wine, if that’s what you would like.” He started pacing around, trying to figure out what to grab first.
“Who are you?” you managed to say, even though your trembling voice was refusing to come out properly
“Oh, silly me” he laughed, lightly tapping his head and rolling his eyes “I’m Hyunggu, but you can call me Kino. Nice to meet you, y/n.” He offered a smile that you believed was supposed to be sweet, but it just sent shivers down your spine.
“How do you know my name?” you asked and couldn’t help but cry harder.
“I know everything about you!” Kino said proudly. “I know your favorite coffee shop and where you work from 9 to 5. I know you like to meet up with your best friend in that park near your house and spend the day reading under the big oak tree listening to music...”
As he kept listing everything about you, the feeling of sheer panic took over you, and at this point you were sobbing loudly. You wondered how long have you been watched and how couldn’t you notice it before. 
“No, don’t cry” he leaned down in front of you again. “It’s okay, I promise I’m not bad”
He caressed your hair, but you started to move around as much as you could, avoid him near you
“Don’t touch me!” you yelled, crying harder as you did so. “Don’t get near me!”
“Y/N, don’t do this, please” He tried to hold you still, showing his strength as he held your shoulders down.
“HELP!” you yelled at the top of your lungs. “SOMEBODY HELP ME, PLEASE!”
Kino’s whole demeanor changed. His eyes were dark and scary now. He stood up, looking at you impatiently.
“You can scream as much as you want, y/n, we are in the middle of nowhere. I’m the only one here for you. I am your only help.”
Your heart was pounding in your ears and you were crying so hard you barely could catch your breath. Everything was about fear. You feared for your life and you couldn’t see yourself escaping. 
“You leave me no choice, y/n” Kino said before pulling a syringe out of his pocket, taking the lid off with his teeth
“No, please! Please don’t do this!” You plead, squirming hard in another failed attempt to free yourself. “Please, don’t do this, I’ll do whatever you want, please!” 
He completely ignored you, as he forcefully grabbed your arm and swiftly poked the needle through your skin.
You screamed in pain and horror until you could feel yourself drifting off against your will.
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When you woke up again, the first thing you saw was Kino sitting on the couch, staring intently at you. He had moved your chair closer when you were unconscious, to the point where he could reach you from where he was sitting without any trouble. 
His expressions weren’t as harsh as you last remember seeing him. He opened that same sweet but psycho smile as he saw you regaining your consciousness. Again you couldn’t say anything even if you tried. You were feeling tired and defeated, and by this point you just accepted there’s nothing you could do.
“You’re back just in time! I’ve got you food!” He picked up the pack of food from your favorite burger shop. “It’s already midnight and I know for a fact that your last meal was almost 12 hours ago, you can not get weaky, y/n. You must be hungry.”
He unwrapped the burger and reached it close to you so you could take a bite. You stared at him angrily, pondering the multiple scenarios over your head. The food must not have poison or anything that could kill you. If he wanted you dead he would have done it by now. If you wanted to escape you had to have strength. And he got it right, you were starving from the stupid salad your coworker bought you for lunch. You laughed quietly at how dumb and futile a diet sounds at the moment you’re at.
You took a big bite, involuntary moaning in satisfaction as you tasted your favorite. Kino smiled proud of himself for making you eat. You chewed fast, wanting to get this over with, but he seemed to enjoy watching every second of it. He alternated between the burger and fries, letting you take sips of soda through the plastic straw of the disposable cup.
When you finished eating he delicately dabbed the paper napkin on your face, making sure no spots were left dirty. He caressed your hair and beamed at you, who was just angrily holding his gaze.
“Good girl” he murmured.
“What do you want from me?” your voice was back to normal by now, and you were able to enunciate your words confidently.
Kino sat back, resting his back carefully against the couch, doing the same head tilt he’s done before.
“You’re asking the wrong question, y/n.” he said in a husky voice, sounding as an attempt to be seductive “I am here yo do whatever you want from me.”
“I want you to let me go” you promptly interrupted
“See, I can not do that just yet.” He leaned forward now, elbows resting on his knees and hands clasping together. He observed every little motion you made. “I need you here. And unfortunately you have to stay like this until I’m sure you won’t run away from me.”
“And what makes you think I will ever want to be with you?” you spit your words, full of anger rather than fear, tired of these games.
“Because you are just like me” he stated calmly
You scoffed.
“Please, elight me in what way are you and me similar?” you rolled your eyes.
He leaned forward again, gazed locked in your eyes as he slowly placed his hand on your knee. He looked at you like he knew all your secrets - which he probably did. Something about the way he treated you and looked at you, something about this whole dynamic, is entrancing. Something in him draws you in, either with just hate for being trapped or with curiosity on why is this all happening.
“You are just like me when you lock yourself in your room at night, and when you shuffle through dating apps to find someone that can keep you busy for a night but cannot give you what you truly want.” He enunciated every word eloquently “I know that you try to find in others what you can find in yourself. That hole can’t be filled with one night stands and strangers paying you drinks all night.”
You gulped. He was not wrong. Of every person in your life, no one ever knew this about you. You never shared your feelings, never let anyone in. How can a stranger know something so personal that even the closest people don’t. He got you like no one did, and you hated yourself for being so vulnerable and exposed. The few tears streaming down your cheeks were now full of shame and anger.
“You are desperate to feel something. Something you don’t even know what it is. A thrill. A high. Anything. But you never get it. Day after day you seek that sparkle inside of you that nothing and no one could light up.” He paused, staring deeply at you. “So far.”
 You held his gaze, refusing to let him think he had the upper hand, even though he did. You were too proud to admit he was right. He didn’t say anything else, and neither did you. The small bubble of the personal staring contest was secure, not a sound or any life form could interrupt you. You could hear the wind shaking some foliage and the rose petals still flying around your peripheral vision.
Without saying another word, Kino got up and started pacing around, humming an unknown tune carelessly, like nothing had happened.
“May you not rest as long as I am living. You said I killed you - haunt me then. The murdered do haunt their murderers.” Kino said calmly. “ Be with me always, take any form. Drive me mad. Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you” You felt like you’ve heard that before. “Oh, God... It is unutterable... I cannot live without my life... I cannot live without my soul.”
“Very ironic to quote Wuthering Heights right now.” You said after finally recognizing the quote.
“Romantic, isn’t it?” He smiled sweetly. 
“If that book is your reference of romance, that says a lot about how you perceive love.” You chuckled humorlessly
“Is that why you’ve read it 3 times?” He asks with a hint of triumph in his voice.
You didn’t know how to respond.
“I know what you want, y/n, and I am the one who can give it to you.” he continued.
“And how are you going to do that with me tied up to a chair?”
“You will be out of there soon.” His expression darkened “I just need to understand that I know you. The real you. The you that you don’t show to anyone else. You’ve realized that by now. You and I are the same, and when I found you I knew that you had what I was looking for. You just want to be loved. You lit up my sparkle and if you give me a chance I can do the same for you. I know what you need and I can give it to you. I can show you that you have this power inside you all along.” 
As you stared at him, you couldn't help but feel drawn to his eyes. There was something about it that made you not want to look away. It looked sincere. The way he looked at you, you felt like you could trust him, like he would never lie to you.
"You'll see." he finally said before leaving out again. 
When he closed the door behind him, you weren't surprised you felt lonely. The place was scary. The candles were burning out and the room was getting darker. The noises outside made you flinch every other minute and you just desperately. If only you weren't tied up, you would feel safer. You could try to defend yourself if something happened. And then you caught yourself wishing Kino was here. You weren’t scared of something or someone hurting you when he was around. 
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The first time Kino uncuffed you was the next day. It felt like forever until he was back. You woke up and fell back asleep countless times. The mixture of exhaustion, fear and panic was almost taking you sanity away. 
When he came back the sun was already out. You could feel your face swollen from all the crying and there wasn’t one place in your body that wasn’t hurting.
“I’m going to untie you now.” He said, crouching down to be eye-to-eye, like he always did when talking to you. He just never looked down at you. “If you try to escape, I’ll be forced to do things I don’t want to.” As he said it, you could see his hand patting the knife on his pocket. “I did something I think you will like.”
As the ropes loosened around you, and you finally stood up, you sighed in relief when you stretched your back and arms up. 
“You can go in there.” Kino pointed to a room that was behind you, on the part of the warehouse you couldn’t see before. “Take all the time you want, I’ll be there when you get comfortable.”
You walked slowly, looking over your shoulders just to see him sitting patiently on the chair that you were previously tied up to.
What was on the other side of the door was a surprisingly clean and bright bathroom. There was a warm bubble bath and a fluffy towel waiting for you. 
You were quick to undress and your body welcomed the soothing water. You allowed yourself to close your eyes and rest, letting all your muscles relax. You didn’t keep track of how long you stood there, but eventually a knock on the door brought you out of the bubble.
You tried to cover yourself under the bubbles, since you couldn’t really tell him to not enter
“There’s clean clothes for you.” he pointed to the bag on the corner. “You can leave your dirty ones in the sink”
He sat on the edge of the tub and you just curled yourself up, feeling more vulnerable and exposed than before. He reached for the shampoo, and started massaging your head after pouring some in your hair.  He  humming softly, his fingers working soothing circles down your scalp and around your neck. Eventually you felt like you could just let go and enjoy the caring gesture, the tension slowly going away with time.
After some time, Kino left again, letting you finish your bath and change into fresh clothes that you recognize as your own, and it didn’t surprise you that he probably broke into your house. When you went back, there were a few takeaway containers with breakfast food waiting for you on a small table set right in the middle of the room. There was a chair for you across from Kino’s, which he motioned for you to sit.
“Are you feeling better?” He asked
You took a seat slowly, not really sure of what you were and weren’t allowed to do.
“Yes” You limited your answer.
“So, I can give you time untied if you behave well. So far you haven’t tried anything unpleasant, and that makes me really happy, y/n. You may enjoy your breakfast now.”
The tingling feeling of gratefulness worried you.
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Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months until you lost track of time. Kino began trusting you more, and most of the time you were free to walk around the place. He brought a bed where you could sleep comfortably, there were always fresh meals and new clothes waiting for you. He would spend the time listening to music or reading some random book. Sometimes you two would discuss it, it was a good way for you to forget the actual situation you were in.
The feeling of the first night only grew, you hated being alone at night, always giving you an uneasy feeling of being unsafe, and that’s why he spent most of the time with you. He would only leave to buy more food or “run quick errands”, as he would say and that’s when he tied you up again, which grew accustomed to.
“For your own safety, princess” He would say before planting a kiss to your forehead and leaving.
You always yearned for him to come back soon.
Kino was always gentle and treated you kindly. He would listen to your requests - as long as they wouldn’t include leaving the place. One day he even let you out for a little bit, so you could enjoy the sun, but of course he was strongly gripping your hand all the time. 
You could see that he never lied about being in the middle of nowhere. It looked like an old and abandoned industrial area, surrounded by a vast wild field, the only access was a barely-noticeable dirt road. 
You felt really happy and, again, grateful. You were convinced that Kino was a good person for you. He listened, he took care of you and he was always honest. You didn’t think he was a bad person. He understood you. And you were starting to understand him.
With time, you didn’t even think about your life before him. You forgot about your tiring work, your unfriendly coworkers, the bars, the drinking, all the things that made you tired and disgruntled were left behind and it was thanks to him. You felt like you owed him. 
In your captive you found freedom and for that you didn’t feel caged. 
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“I won’t take long to come back,” Kino said, making your stomach twist in anxiety. “I know you don’t like being alone at night, but I have something important to do.”
“Can’t I go with you? I can be in the car, you can lock me up inside, I promise I won’t do anything but wait for you.”
“I can’t do that, princess, there are certain things I rather keep you away from. I wouldn't risk losing you.” He said and kissed your forehead, the familiar gesture reassuring you that he was just trying to take care of you. He left quickly after he tied you to the bed. The radio was on, so at least you had something to distract yourself with.
It was about 15 minutes later when the heavy door slid open, and you felt so relieved for not being alone anymore.
“Hello?” A strange voice echoed around.
You immediately started panicking, afraid of someone hurting you. You couldn’t hide or run, and soon the strange man saw you.
“Oh, Hi, I just got lost in the road, and I saw some lights, I thought I could ask for direct-” he stopped mid track when he saw your wide-eyed face, and finally noticed you were tied up. “Oh my god, are you okay?! Is someone keeping you trapped here?”
He ran towards you, and you started screaming and crying. 
“Don’t come closer, please!” You yelled, the frighten evident in your voice.
“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you, I can get you out of here.” He got a pocket knife to cut you free from the ropes, and immediately grabbed your wrists to pull you away. “Come on! I’ll call the police from the car”
You were flooded with conflicting thoughts. For a long time you thought of trying to find a way to escape. You dreamed of putting your life back on track after this wake up call, to chase after your dreams and do all the things you haven’t done before. And right now the opportunity was right there in front of you.
But all you felt was scared. You didn’t want to leave Kino. There was nothing out there for you anymore. Kino gave you everything. He allowed you to find yourself. He took care of you and made you feel safe, he was the one for you. You only needed him.
You pulled yourself from his grip
“Go away!”
“No, you don’t understand, I can take you out of here. I can take you to the police and they will protect you from the sick bastard who is keeping you here. He won’t hurt you anymore.” the guy was desperate, trying to grab you again as you fought him. 
You stepped back until you hit the table where you have had dinner just an hour ago. You watched as the man approached you, and in panic you reached back your hand, feeling your way to a knife.  When he finally reached you, yanking you forcefully towards the exact, you didn’t think twice.
It all happened too fast. You aimed for the neck, knowing that the chance of you hitting an important blood vessel was big, and he would die in seconds. The knife pierced through his skin gruesomely. You knew you hit where you wanted when, at the pull of it, blood gushed everywhere, staining your face and clothes. 
The man fell to the ground with a loud thump, squirming powerless as more and more blood poured out of him, creating a puddle under his body. You were shaking, pupils blown wide from the adrenalin. You let the knife fall from your hand, the metal sound echoing around.
When you looked at the door, Kino was standing there, watching you worriedly.
You didn’t think twice when you sprint towards him. He received you in a tight hug, which you reciprocated with the same intensity. You buried your face in his neck, seeking comfort in the safety of having him with you.
“Are you okay, princess?” he stepped back, cupping your cheeks, his thumb brushing some blood drops away.
“Mm-hmm” You nodded quietly.
“I’m so sorry I left you here all alone, I should have been here to protect you.” he kissed your forehead calmly.
“He wanted to take me away, I was so scared.” You hugged him tighter, allowing yourself to cry quietly. “I-I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving you behind.”
Kino watched your words carefully, the corners of his lips twisting in a small smile. He caressed your cheeks and stared deep into your eyes. He looked happy. Satisfied.
“I will never leave you again” He cooed.
When he leaned closer to kiss your forehead again, you tiptoed so your lips met his.
 His eyes widened in surprise for a second, he backed away as if you had done it by accident. When he realized that was your intention he pulled you closer again, arms twisting around your waist, and kissed you.
He kissed you as he life depended on it, and every fiber of your body jumped in excitement. You kissed him back, finally feeling like you were exactly where you belonged. Like you found the love of your life, the part that was missing. You had all you needed right there. He ended the kiss with light pecks, and that’s when you just needed to say something that’s been in the back of your mind for days:
“I love you, Kino” 
“I love you, y/n” He smiled so happily. “I have a surprise for you.”
He reached his hand for you to hold, and you gladly accepted. Butterflies danced around your stomach in excitement.
He guided you outside, to his car. He opened the passenger door for you. You just couldn’t believe it. You looked at him in doubt, but he just gave you an encouraging nod.
You settled inside, and soon he joined you in the driver’s seat.
“I’ve been gathering this for a while for you. For us. For the time you were ready to start over, when you would accept to do with me. It can be just the two of us, we will build our life together from 0.” He motioned with his head to the backseat.
There was a duffle bag, full to the top with cash. A lot of cash. You didn’t feel the need to ask him where he got all of that, the important part is that all you wanted was to be with him. Start fresh where no one would come in between you and him.
“Do you want to run away with me, y/n?” Kino hopeful smile filled you with joy
“Yes! Absolutely!” you jumped in your seat, too excited to hold back.
It was all he needed to hear. He started the car and drove away. You watched from the rear-view mirror the warehouse being left behind for good. It was so hidden, it would take days for anyone to find the body. Kino and you would be far far away by then, living your fairy-tale fantasy. It was all behind you now. You looked down at your blood-stained clothes, and surprisingly wasn’t a bother. Nothing would be. Nothing could take this moment away from you. 
Kino placed one hand on your thigh, the dark empty road didn’t require enough attention that he couldn’t share it with you. You placed your hand on top of his, lightly intertwining fingers. He flashed you another beautiful smile.
“You’re mine.” he said fondly. Strongly.
“I’m yours.”
61 notes · View notes
robinrunsfiction · 4 years ago
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Style
Pairing: Frank Iero x Female Reader Rating: Teen Requested By: None Word Count: ~3,900 Author’s Note: This is the first in a series of stories inspired by songs by Taylor Swift, this one of course being Style from the album 1989. I had intended on holding on to the series until I had all of them done, but I’m struggling to write... anything lately so I’m posting the two that I do have done. Full honesty, this story is one I originally wrote about two years ago for a different fandom and then modified for this challenge. I hope you enjoy.
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The vibrating of her phone on the nightstand next to her woke her from her light sleep. She rolled over, bleary eyed, and checked the screen.
From: Frank Iero Message: hey
"Oh for fucks sake" she muttered to herself. She glanced at the clock, just before midnight, no surprise there. 'What's up?' She texted back. She set her phone down and rolled back over, willing it to stay silent.
Until it vibrated again.
'So you are up…' he replied
'Because you woke me up' she replied.
'Anyway, wanna come over?'
'Where's your girl tonight?'
They had an arrangement. They would only contact each other if they knew the other wasn't seeing anyone and they'd hook up, no strings attached. It had been working out pretty well for a few years now. They were each occasionally with a significant other for a while, him more usually than her, but nothing long term, so they weren't ever out of their routine for too long.
'She's gone' he replied.
'At the very least you come to my place' she replied back.
'Already on my way'
(YN) dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom to check her reflection in the mirror before curling up on the couch and waiting for the doorbell to ring. About 20 minutes later, she had almost fallen back to sleep, when there was a knock. Trudging to the door, she opened to find that familiar face.
"Hey" she said, letting him in.
"Hey, glad you were up," he said with a smirk as he took off his coat and tossed it on the couch where she had just been sitting.
"I wasn't, remember?"
"But you are now," he said, taking a step toward her, putting his hands on her hips.
"Lucky you," she replied as she slipped from his grasp leading the way to her bedroom. Frank had hardly taken a step when she pulled off her tank top and flinging over her shoulder at him. 
It always amazed (YN) that no matter how long they may have been apart, they were always able to pick right up. She could remember exactly what to do to drive him wild, he remembered all the spots that she loved him to kiss and touch. 
When they both finished and were both lying back, catching their breath, he looked over at her and chuckled.
"What?" She asked with a laugh as well.
"I dunno" he muttered.
"So what happened with your girl?" She asked after a few moments of silence.
"Nice pillow talk, (YN)."
"Oh come on, you know how I am" she said rolling over onto her elbow to look at him.
"Nosey?"
“I was gonna say kind of a bitch, but I suppose that’s true too,” she said with a shrug and he laughed.
"She said I wasn't giving her the attention she deserved, so she found someone who could."
"So she starts dating a touring musician,  someone who everyone knows is busy as hell, and bails when he's busy as hell? What a bitch."
"Eh, it was fun while it lasted."
(YN) rolled her eyes. "If you say so."
"What have you been up to?" He asked.
"Ya know, the usual" she said with a shrug.
"Been seeing anyone?"
"Why?"
"Making conversation."
"Nah. Been on a few dates, but nothing worth the effort." She said rolling on to her back again. He then rolled onto his side and looked at her.
"What?" She asked again, with a sideways glance.
"Admit it, you missed me."
"Ugh, you are the worst."
"You know you did."
"I missed... parts of you" with that same sly grin from before.
"Well, let's get reacquainted again."
~
The next morning (YN) woke up with the sun streaming in around the blinds. She was glad she had the day off because Frank had kept her up late. She looked over at where he slept beside her, back turned to her and she couldn't help but smile fondly at his tattooed back. She pulled herself out of bed and slipped into the shower.
Frank woke up and didn't find (YN) next to him, but soon realized he heard the shower running. Even when he was with his ex, he missed coming over to (YN)'s place, or when she would stop by his house unannounced. They were friends first and foremost, but the physical chemistry between them was undeniable. Their agreement had been working so well for so long that he didn't dare say what he had been feeling for a while now.
He heard the shower shut off and a minute later she came back into her room with her plush towel wrapped around herself.
"Oh you're up" she smiled. She thought maybe he would have slipped out by the time she got out of the shower.
"Yea I just woke up. You gotta work today?"
"No, today's my day off. You?"
"We got a meeting this afternoon."
"Sucks to suck" she said with a grin, pulling on underwear from her drawer.
He laughed lightly as he got up from the bed and got dressed. She glanced over at him while pulling on her shirt. It looked like there was something on his mind, but she didn't know if she should pry. "Wanna get brunch? Your treat?" She asked with a grin.
"Sure," he replied with a laugh.
They headed to a diner down the street and ordered their meals and caught up a bit more since it had been a while since they had been face to face.
"I have to go to this bachelorette party for my coworker tomorrow after working all day." (YN) said, rolling her eyes. She was a hair stylist and knew she had a busy Saturday booked. After being on her feet for hours, she knew she'd rather just crash in bed than go out.
"If you don't wanna go, don't go."
"No, I'm gonna go, I don't just bail, but I am gonna hate it the whole time. I'll just have to get a good night of sleep tonight." She said, narrowing her eyes at her friend across the table.
Frank shrugged and put his hands up defensively. "You coulda told me not to come over."
"Oh, you and I both know that wasn't gonna happen."
"Again, you missed me."
"Stop projecting your feelings on to me" she said hitting his arm from across the table and he laughed.
"Anyway, I gotta get home and shower, let's get outta here."
Frank paid for their meals, and they walked back down to her building.
“Good to see you again, (YN),” he said as he turned toward his car.
“Welcome back to the land of living Mr. Iero,” she replied as she let herself into her building.
~
The next morning (YN) woke up without any text messages interrupting her sleep. She got out of bed, showered and got ready for her day. She had a full schedule that included two of her more difficult clients in the afternoon.
Thankfully the day went quickly, but by the time her last client was done she had a splitting headache. She knew if she wanted to leave Jenny wouldn’t hold it against her, but Susie who organized the bachelorette party for Jenny would never let her forget it. As she cleaned up her station, she heard champagne bottles popping in the back room and decided she could at least go to dinner if it involved champagne.
After pre-gaming in the back of the salon, the group headed out to dinner and (YN) found her patience growing thinner, and the drinks she was consuming weren’t helping. There were multiple conversations happening, but she found herself sitting back, wishing she was anywhere else at that moment.
 “(YN), you’re single, what’s up with that? You’re so pretty and feisty, I can’t believe you can’t find a guy who can put up with that!” One of her coworkers asked. She opened her mouth to reply to the back handed compliment, when Susie jumped in.
“I heard she’s got a friend with benefits!”
“Well yes Susie, you’re right! Because I don’t see the point in being in a relationship. I can get laid without all the unnecessary bullshit that goes along with it! Win-win!” She said taking a smug sip of her drink, relishing in the dumbfounded looks and glares being shot at her from her coworkers who were celebrating the idea of long-term commitment and romantic love.
She finished her dinner and glanced at the time on her phone, it wasn’t very late, but waved down the waiter and paid her check. As she left, she gave Jenny a hug and whispered an apology into her ear for her bitchy comment earlier.
“Don’t worry, I understand” Jenny replied with a smile.
(YN)'s uber was outside when she exited the restaurant. She gave the driver the address and rested her head against the cool window.
If she was to be honest with herself, she wasn’t completely opposed to the idea of a relationship, but she was really satisfied with where her life was, especially now that Frank was coming around again. He really was the best sex she had ever had, probably because they had been in each other’s lives for so long.
When she arrived at her destination, she breathed a sigh of relief that the lights in the living room were on and no other cars were around.
“I knew you’d turn up sooner or later, but I didn’t think it would be this soon” Frank said with a smirk when he opened the door.
“Are you gonna chastise me, or are you gonna invite me in?” She asked, rolling her eyes. He stood back and opened the door for her and she came in. The place looked the same as always, kind of cluttered with guitars and horror movie memorabilia all over the place.
“How was your party?”
“It was ok. I like my coworkers at work, much more than that, I’ll pass. They get real catty when they start drinking," she said flopping down on the couch. "I see you have a real exciting evening going on here.”
“Well it’s a good thing you came along to save me from it” he said sitting down next to her, putting his hand on her thigh.
“What can I say, it’s my super power,” she said, turning her body into his, putting her hand on his chest. He leaned in and they started making out. He ran his hand further up her thigh over her tight jeans, the other hand on her back pulling her closer to him. She ran her nails up the back of his neck, raking over his scalp sending goosebumps up and down his body.
He leaned back pulling her onto his lap, and she took the opportunity to pull her top off. He pulled her back down to kiss him, hand roaming over her back, easily undoing her bra and tossing it aside, as she ground her hips into his with an increasing urgency. He sat up and she pulled his shirt off and then raked her nails over his tattooed chest.
Moans and muttered curses filled the room until they both came. She fell forward onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. She was surprised at first by the affection of the action, but didn’t care because it did feel nice to be held like that. They stayed like that for a few minutes before she pulled back.
“I guess I should get goin' then” she said reaching down to gather her clothes from the floor.
“Why?” He asked. “I mean, we haven’t hung out in a while, just stay.”
She considered the offer. He had a point, they used to hang out much more. And it wasn’t like she had anything to do that night.
“Ok sure, but I’m still putting on some of my clothes," she retorted.
“You want something to drink?” He asked, getting up after pulling his sweatpants back on and wandering into the kitchen.
“Yea, I’ll take a beer” she said following him into the kitchen in just her bra and panties.
“That’s a good look,” he said, handing her a beer.
“Thanks, I was thinking this bra wasn’t getting enough appreciation for the hard work it does.”
“Well I for one would like to salute it. It truly is doing God’s work.” He replied with a wink.
They went back to the couch and sat on opposite sides while he picked a movie on Netflix. As the movie played, they talked about the party she had been at and some new songs he was working on. As the evening wore on, (YN) could feel herself getting sleepier from her long day. She felt her head getting heavy as she slowly leaned toward Frank.
She woke up the next morning still on the couch, her head was on this chest and his arms were wrapped around her. She didn't move, not sure of how to react to the position she was in.
They had been friends for a long time before that one night when they were at a party and someone suggested Seven Minutes in Heaven. (YN) had been a little worried, but also quite exhilarated when she realized her partner was Frank. They had both been liquored up enough to throw caution to the wind the second the door to the closet shut behind them.
Their lips crashed together, hands in hair and all over each other. The seven minutes passed too quickly, so when the attention of the party was off them and their disheveled state, they snuck off to another room to finish what they had started.
At that point in their lives, (YN) had just gotten out of a shitty relationship and had no interest in getting into anything else serious anytime soon, and Frank was fine with just having fun. She and Frank’s chemistry led them to hooking up a few more times before they officially agreed to do the friends with benefits thing. Over time she warmed back up to the idea of being in a relationship, but she didn’t actively pursue anything because she didn’t want to miss the opportunity to be with Frank. She always had felt jealous when he let her know he was seeing someone, but she was terrified of ruining things with him, so she never let on to how she felt.
Now as she woke up with his arms around her like that, it felt quite intimate, bordering on relationship-y behavior. Even if she did decide to risk it all with Frank, now wouldn't be the time as she'd just be a rebound, so in that moment she decided she just needed to back off for a minute and let things even out a little, and get back to normal.
"Hey," he murmured, waking up.
"Hey" she replied, pulling herself up from his arms.
"You want some coffee?" He asked sitting up and shuffling off to the kitchen.
"Yea sure" she said following behind him, sitting on a barstool at the counter as she watched him make the coffee.
"What are you doing today?" She asked. That voice in the back of her head nagged for even asking the question. They weren't a couple, they didn't just hang out every day they were free, why even bring up the topic?
"I'm gonna go down to record a few of those demos I was telling you about last night" he replied, pulling out a couple mugs. "But you wanna hang out later?"
"Nah" She replied, shaking her head. A concerned look crossed his face. He wondered what he had done as he handed her the mug.
"You got something better to do?"
"Frank, I'm gonna be straight with you, I'm not looking to be a rebound, you know that. That’s not what I signed up for.”
"I'm not trying to use you as a rebound! I just thought you’d want to hang out since it’s been a while. I don't want anything to change what’s going on with us," he lied. 
It wasn't completely a lie, he didn't want her to be a rebound, but he did want things to change between them, he wanted them to be more. He did want a relationship with (YN), that's why he never put effort into his other relationships, because they never were with her. But he didn't want to drive her away, so he kept being friends with benefits, so at least he could be with her in some way.
She considered what he was telling her, not completely believing him. "Mmk," she replied, taking a sip of her coffee.
“Can I at least give you a ride back to your place?”
“You're such a gentleman," she smirked. "But I’d appreciate it.”
~
Over the next few weeks, (YN) and Frank settled back into their usual routine for when they were both single. They would text regularly, stop by each other’s place to hook up at least once a week, and sometimes hang out if a group was getting together.
Once things had normalized between them, she started to stop worrying so much about whether Frank was using her as a rebound. She did notice though that he still was being more physically affectionate than he used to be, putting his arm casually around the back of her chair when they were sitting next to each other, holding her for a little longer after hooking up, she'd wake up sleeping against him. She realized that maybe she was keeping up the affection just as much as he was, but that didn't change the fact that she just didn't think they should be pursuing a relationship.
On a quiet Tuesday in the salon, Jenny and (YN) were the only two working and chatting about life between clients.
"(YN) , don't take this the wrong way, but I have to ask. Are you still just hooking up with your friend?" Jenny asked
"Yea, but it's good, it's fine! It's what we want to do, ya know? Like for a while I was worried that he was catching feelings, and sometimes I get jealous, but we're just having fun and we're good."
"Yea, but have you talked about it recently? Like you said it seemed like he was getting attached."
"We did talk about it, and he said he wasn't trying to rebound and I believe him, and things went back to normal."
"And what about your jealousy?"
"Damn Dr. Phil!" (YN) retorted. She was surprised at the intense line of questioning coming from her friend. She was even more surprised at the knowing smirk that was on Jenny's face. "What?!" She snapped.
"There's nothing wrong with being vulnerable! Let him crack that hard shell you have around you, I'm sure you have a soft, gooey center in there somewhere!"
"He's found my soft center plenty of times, he's very good at that actually." (YN) said with a wink, getting up to prepare her work station for her next client.
"(YN), ew! But just think about it. What honestly could be the worst that would happen?" Jenny called after her.
"I could lose him and everything we have," she muttered under her breath.
~
(YN) was crammed in a booth with Frank, Mikey, Gerard, Ray and a few others at the afterparty celebrating another sold out show. It had been a long night of partying, but (YN) was having a lot of fun since it had been a long time since she got to hang out with the whole band. She did notice that Frank had kept his arm around her shoulder for most of the night, but she decided to let it slide.
Eventually the group started to get pulled away into different conversations until (YN), Frank and Ray were the only ones left in the booth.
"Ray, that girl over at the bar has been tryna to eye fuck you for a while now. Are you gonna do something about it?" (YN) asked, as she drew their attention to the girl at the bar.
"I see that," he said, taking the last swig of his drink and sliding out of the booth. (YN) and Frank both laughed as he made his way over to her.
"What do you think his chances are?" She asked, taking a drink.
"Eh, probably pretty good, she does seem into him."
(YN) could feel Frank's eyes on her. "What?" She asked, turning to look at him. He reached up to her cheek and pulled her in to kiss him. She didn't protest as he deepened the kiss, but after a moment the voice in her head started screaming 'What are you doing? This isn't how you two act in public!'
"Frank, what are you doing?" She asked, pulling back.
"I don't know anymore, (YN). I... fuck..." he stammered.
She knew where this was going because she had felt it building for a while now. She grabbed her bag and slid out from the booth.
"(YN) , come on, don't leave like this." He said following her out of the bar into the cool night.
"Frank, what are you doing?" She said putting an emphasis on each individual word, as if saying it more clearly would somehow spark clarity in his mind. She looked up at him, his hazel puppy dog eyes filled with fear and frustration. After a long moment, he still hadn't replied so she turned leave when he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him.
"(YN), I love you, ok? I fucking care about you and I don't give two shits about what we've agreed we're supposed to be, or what we aren't supposed to say. You are the reason none of those other relationships worked out. You're the one I always come back to, over and over again."
"Fucking hell man!" She shouted as she put her hands over her face. Her head was spinning. This was everything she had known deep down all along, it was all she wanted to hear for so long. But now that it was happening, she was panicking.
Frank took her wrists and pulled her hands away from her face, but she pulled her wrists away from him with a jerk, taking a step back and drawing in a deep breath.
"Ok, fine! I'm out of excuses. I've always had feelings for you too. Every time you tell me you have some girl you're seeing it made me so mad, and at first I didn't want anything more with you or anyone, but now I do and now I know you do too, so let's fucking do this Frank. I'm in. I love you too, goddamn it."
"You're mad that you love me?" He asked, laughing.
"Shut up" she said, pushing on his arm. He laughed again and took her face in his hands and placed a kiss on her lips with every ounce of passion he had been holding back for all the years and she wrapped her arms around his neck. When they separated, he took her hand and they went back into the bar to find Ray back at the table alone.
Even though he was dejected from his strikeout, Ray couldn't have been happier to see his plan to play Seven Minutes in Heaven all those years ago had finally paid off.
45 notes · View notes
gukyi · 5 years ago
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for you, anything | ksj
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summary: in the popular online multiplayer game, kingdom, you are the top-ranked knight with money, fame, and power. in real life, you’re a graphic design geek who’s got a very unsubtle crush on her gorgeous coworker, kim seokjin. but when you’re suddenly dethroned from the first place spot in your game, you and your kingdom character embark on a journey to reclaim your title, and learn on the way that things are not always as they seem. 
{friends to lovers!au, enemies to lovers!au}
pairing: kim seokjin x female reader genre: fluff, comedy, fantasy word count: 21k warnings: alcohol mention, brief and non-graphic descriptions of violence, this is basically two fics in one so you get double the fun and double the word count!! a/n: once again, a massive, massive thank you to @aurawatercolor for commissioning me!! you can find her on twitter as well under @btspresso_!! she’s the genius behind this enemies to lovers and friends to lovers seokjin fic wrapped up into a nice package just in time for the holidays!! you ever seen a fic with e2l and f2l together? that’s right, i didn’t think so. enjoy!!!
check out the post-script drabble here!
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♚ HERE ♚
“Oh, shit!”
From twelve feet away comes the sound of these three things in this order: fingers furiously mashing keyboard keys, wheels of an office chair swiveling angrily on the linoleum floor, and a war cry. All of which could either belong to a video game world championships in a big-city stadium or your simple, office of two-floors in a more-than-one-hundred-stories skyscraper based in graphic design and media for small start-up companies. 
“I can’t tell if Photoshop crashed again or if you’re playing that weird online multiplayer game again,” Yoongi grumbles from across the way, where he’s gnawing on a Clif bar in one hand as he mindlessly taps his mouse with the other. 
“Please,” Jimin says, carelessly waving a hand. “Don’t act like I haven’t caught you watching My Hero Academia multiple times this year while we were supposed to be doing work, you absolute piece of toast. But if you must know, I was in fact playing Kingdom.”
“I’m going to tell Namjoon,” Yoongi says with zero emphasis, because everybody knows that Namjoon’s got dirt on everybody in the office anyway (including Yoongi) and that if you try to expose somebody else to him, he’ll expose you back. It’s colleague culture. 
“And what’s Namjoon gonna do? He already knows you carry a flash drive of illegally-downloaded animes with you wherever you go,” Jimin retorts casually. He’s not wrong, and you can confirm that Yoongi indeed carts around a USB drive in the shape of a pineapple that has 64GB of anime. 
“What do I know?”
Namjoon comes trotting into view from the corridor that leads to the gender-neutral bathrooms with glasses hanging from the collar of his sweater vest, a clipboard with nothing attached to it in his right hand, and a steaming cup of jasmine tea (he hates coffee and declares this publicly at least three times a day) in his left. 
“You know that Yoongi—”
“Has been doing his work the whole time you were in the bathroom so you don’t need to worry about him,” Yoongi interrupts quickly. 
Namjoon shoots both Jimin and Yoongi a suspicious glare, but moves on. He’s got enough blackmail on the both of them to bury them into the next calendar year, but he’s wise, and he only uses it when absolutely necessary. “Just doing checkups on you guys before Boss Man calls me back into his office and gives me a pile of over one hundred hours of work I’m supposed to do in a forty-hour work week.” It’s been obvious from the moment you were hired that Namjoon does the most work out of anybody in this office, including your boss, and gets very, very little from it. 
“You don’t even have any paper attached to your clipboard,” Taehyung points out rather unhelpfully, from where he’s been drawing hearts on the cheeks of the Surprised Pikachu meme he’s taped up on the wall his desk is pushed up against. 
Namjoon looks down at his clipboard like it just spit mad fire at him, furrows his brows, and lets out a sigh equivalent to three years worth of pent-up aggression. “Shit.”
Jimin cackles from his computer. 
“Whatever, I’m still going to do checkups.” Namjoon takes the pen from behind his ear and writes himself a note, presumably to get paper for his clipboard later. “Jimin, you’re still working on that website layout for the art critic and photographer. Yoongi’s on coding for that search engine that we all know is never taking off but is still paying us. Taehyung’s on marketing because he’s got the most charming voice and Hoseok and Jungkook are on media production for the indie movie company. Y/N and Seokjin, you guys are on clientele and coding. Everybody good before I go get more paper?”
“Yes, Tiny but Large Boss Man,” Jimin says, and it’s enough of a confirmation to send Namjoon scurrying down the corridor again in search of paper as everyone else returns to their prior business. 
“Y/N?”
You turn around from the font website you’ve been browsing for about half an hour to find Seokjin standing behind you, an earpiece in his ear and that charming smile on his face. It’s the same smile he gave you on your first day on the job when he was introducing himself, same smile he gives when he meets clients in person, same smile he gives Namjoon whenever the man is about to have a breakdown. It’s a friendly, personable-but-universal kind of smile. The kind models need. The kind that Seokjin has mastered. 
“Hey, Seokjin,” you say, only just then coming to realize that Seokjin is much closer to you than his voice originally implied. You’ve rotated 180 degrees in your office chair and he is hardly a foot away from where your feet are. It’s a lot. Seokjin is always a lot. In the best sort of way. “Is anything the matter?”
“No, just wanted to check in and see how the project was going for that one guy that wanted a nice advertisement to put on Angie’s List,” Seokjin says, leaning down to look at what you’ve been doing. 
“Oh, well I’ve been browsing this font website for ages and I still can’t find a nice one for the sub-heading. All of these are too flashy or difficult to read,” you say, beginning to scroll as you and Seokjin both look for one that you like. 
“Hmm, I see what you mean,” his voice sounds like honey and if you had any less dignity you’d let the chills send shivers down your spine. Luckily, you know how to maintain your composure in an office setting. And you also know that Yoongi and Jungkook would never let you hear the end of it, ever. “Oh, how about that one?”
“This one? Rose Quartz?” You ask, pointing to it. 
“Yeah,” Seokjin says. “It has a nice flair that matches with the font for the business name, but it’s still easy to read. It would probably look really nice with a crisp shadow behind it, don’t you think?”
“Maybe you’re onto something,” you say, clicking to read the fair use and copyright. 
“Couldn’t have done it without all the hard work you’ve put into this,” Seokjin says, standing up and shooting you another one of his famous smiles. “You’re the best partner anybody in this tiny media production and design company could ask for.”
He leaves without bidding you farewell, but it’s enough to have you staring blankly at your computer, contemplating existence itself. Sometimes, a little part of you wonders if Seokjin only treats you like this and none of your other coworkers, but then you immediately remember that Seokjin is naturally charming and that he probably speaks to newborn babies in the same way.
Yoongi wheels over to your desk from where his is, smirk lacing his features as he chews on another, different-colored Clif bar. 
“Ever heard of a personal bubble?” You ask snarkily, because you already know why he’s over here, and so does he.
“Why aren’t you asking the same question to Seokjin, hmm?” Yoongi taunts. He’s know about your dumb crush on your coworker (of all people, your coworker! A fellow employee!) for months now. He isn’t being any more helpful whatsoever. 
“Go watch your pirated anime,” you grunt out, too overwhelmed with the way Seokjin smiles at you to really give Yoongi your full attention. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“Sure, but I’m not Seokjin,” Yoongi says. Then he wheels away and you’re left staring at the Rose Quartz font, whose sample text reads: This was meant to be. 
At least Namjoon doesn’t know.
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It’s midnight on a Tuesday, and you’re just about to turn off the lamp on your bedside table and get some well deserved weekday-night shut eye when your phone begins to blare, a disgustingly ugly picture of Jungkook’s face appearing on the screen.
You stare at your phone like it’s personally offending you (which, if Jungkook’s face is anything to go by, it definitely is) before you turn off your ringer and close your eyes. Jungkook can wait. Very seldom is he at the top of your list of priorities.
Barely five seconds after you’ve put your head on your pillow, your phone begins to vibrate, this time even angrier than the last. Aggravated and a little concerned—because Jungkook never, ever calls twice—you pick up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Y/N! Something crazy just happened!”
“I hope so, otherwise you wouldn’t be calling me at midnight on a work night,” you grumble into the phone, monotonous voice a stark contrast to Jungkook’s easily excitable one.
“Have you been on Kingdom recently?!” Jungkook asks, and you practically see his eyes bulging out of his head in front of you. One of your youngest coworkers, it’s moments like these that remind you why he bears a striking resemblance to a university student—up late playing video games even on a work night—despite having a couple years in the workforce under his belt. He keeps telling you that he wants to go back to school and get a Masters in something, but he isn’t sure what yet. 
“No,” you tell him like it’s obvious, because it is. You typically begin to wind down your night around ten, which means that anything that’s happened on Kingdom in the past two hours you are thoroughly unaware of. “Can’t this wait? Kingdom’s fun and all, but I really do need to sleep.”
“But Y/N,” Jungkook says with a whine, insisting that you stay on the line, “someone beat you! You’re rank two, now.”
If Jungkook’s loud voice and jumpy attitude didn’t wake you before, you’re certainly wide awake now.
“What?” You ask, shocked. “Just now?”
“Yeah, like fifteen minutes ago! I don’t know what happened,” Jungkook says sadly, lost. “I was dueling with another knight when the horns and banners appeared on the screen and said there was a new top player. You’ve been dethroned!” He cries out like it’s him who’s lost their place. 
You’re fumbling out of bed, making a beeline for your desktop computer across your bedroom. Normally, you’d be ashamed about how high-school you’re behaving around a video game, but you’ve invested an embarrassing amount of time and energy into Kingdom, and you’ll be damned if you think someone else can outdo you. 
As you’re logging onto the game, Jungkook continues to wail into the phone. “I don’t even know who this person is, I feel like I’ve never seen them before! I mean, they must be really good since they practically appeared out of nowhere, but still! I’m a decent player so we must have crossed paths. Maybe I just don’t remember…”
Sure enough, the moment you open your screen the horns blare and the banners appear, congratulating a different player on achieving the top rank. You watch helplessly as the celebration fades on your computer before the leaderboard appears in the top left corner, your name a sad second place. 
“Who’s JK0901?” You shout into the phone, earning an exasperated sigh from Jungkook on the other end. You scowl at the name that’s knocked you off your pedestal, before narrowing your eyes to look at it more closely. “JK? Is that you, Jungkook? Are you just calling me to make fun of me for beating me? Don’t disrespect your elders, Jungkook.”
Jungkook gasps like he’s been accused of murder. For people that take Kingdom as seriously as you and Jungkook, it may as well be. “No! What the heck, Y/N, you know that my username is KookieMonster97, for God’s sake. Accusing me of being the best, how could you?”
“You should have just taken the compliment,” you frown into the phone, “Now all the girls are gonna know you aren’t, in fact, the number one Kingdom player.”
“Fuck, you’re right,” Jungkook mutters. “But it’s not me, I swear. You would have received a very different phone call from me if it was. In fact, I probably wouldn’t have even told you and then ruined your day in the office tomorrow. So it’s not me.”
“I can’t tell if I’d be more or less angry if it was you,” you admit.
“Why, because I’d finally have something to hold over your head other than my unwavering youth?” Jungkook taunts. Definitely still a university student at heart. 
“No, because it means I’d have to hear the entire office praise you for a day, and I’d rather permanently pop my eardrums,” you tell him informatively. Jungkook has enough of a head. You actively try to not do anything to enlarge it unless he wholeheartedly deserves it. 
“I love our coworker chats, you know,” Jungkook says. “Whoever this person is though, I bet they’re receiving bucketloads of praise for knocking you off the top spot. You’ve had it for like, three months now, haven’t you?”
“Yes,” you tell him through gritted teeth. “I’ve put my blood, sweat, and tears into this game and look how it’s repaying me,” you grumble, staring down the Kingdom home screen. 
“JK0901 probably did a ritual sacrifice to beat you,” Jungkook supplies unhelpfully. 
You sigh. Whoever they are, they proved that they are just as good at Kingdom as you are, a veteran player with an embarrassing several years of experience under your belt. In fact, they proved that they’re better than you. 
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♚ THERE ♚
It’s cloudy today, which means that more of the market stalls are out on the main street. You pass by them on your way to the castle, vendors calling out to you with promises of apples, jewelry, and perfumes. 
You’ve got money to burn and your responsibilities can wait a couple of minutes, so you indulge one of the stalls and purchase a couple of apples. One should give you a bit of energy now, and the rest can be roasted later for a better meal. 
“Miss Y/N, off to the palace?” The vendor asks. From how much you frequent this part of the kingdom, every artisan, farmer, and merchant alike knows your name. That, and the fact that you’ve amassed quite a group of followers from your daily knightly escapades. 
“Of course,” you respond happily, paying the merchant with a couple of silver coins and then some, just as a thanks. The extra money helps the farmers raise the quality of their crops and allows them to earn more for their efforts. It also boosts your standing amongst the townsfolk. “His Majesty requested my presence for further instructions on fortification, most likely. But I’m just honored to be recognized.”
“As you should!” The man responds dutifully. “You are our best knight, after all.”
“Please, you flatter me. When the work day is done, go home and feed your children well, alright?” You ask, giving a firm nod to the merchant before you’re on your way. As you stroll down the stone-paved path, other vendors call out to you, hoping that you, too, will indulge in their finest clothes and trinkets on your way to the castle. 
Maybe another day. 
You take a hearty bite of the apple as you head towards the palace, a satisfying crunch ringing through your ears as the townsfolk nod and bow to you. It’s easy to figure out that you’re the top-ranked knight in the kingdom, with badges of honor pinned to your torso, ink black armor clinging tightly to your body, and red sashes tied around the black ones on your wrist, signifying approval from the highest ranking military official in the kingdom: the king himself. 
The guards at the palace gates step aside as you nod to each other, bowing courteously. You repeat this process several more times as you slowly proceed towards the throne room, where the King (and maybe the Queen) are likely to be waiting for you. They had increased their security at every door frame after an attempted assassination several months ago, which you (with the help of other high-ranking knights and castle officials) discovered was a plot orchestrated by Their Majesty’s second-most-trusted advisor. 
Finally, you reach the golden arches that signify that you’ve arrived at the most expensive room in the entire palace (save for Her Majesty’s bathroom, which, though you have never been inside, is rumored to have a golden bathtub and sacred water from the River Blancheur, over two thousand miles away. But you cannot confirm nor deny.), threatening red doors slowly creaking open as the King and Queen come into view. 
They’re sitting on their thrones, as per usual, but they aren’t the only ones in the room like they normally are. Instead, there’s another knight, as equally decked out as you, standing before them, arms crossed behind their back. 
“We hope that you can wear these honors proudly and do your duties with pride,” the King says regally, deep, thick voice echoing throughout the room. 
“I will stop at nothing to ensure this kingdom’s greatness,” the knight says back, just as formal. The knight gives a long bow, red sashes around their wrist dangling towards the ground. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think you were being replaced. But of course, that’s not the case. 
“Oh, Y/N,” the Queen says happily, noticing your waiting right in front of the closed doors to the throne room. “Prudent, as always.”
“I aspire to please,” you say with a bow. The King gives you a warm smile, one you’re willing to bet that this other knight isn’t often on the receiving end of. 
“Your timing is impeccable,” the King says, ushering for you to come forward. You do so, taking calculated steps along the red carpet, woven nearly two centuries ago and maintained ever since. “We were just congratulating Sir JK on his recent accomplishments in the Black Forest.”
“Of course,” you say with a nod, refusing to turn to your left so you can stare down this Sir JK for yourself. “The military made groundbreaking strides for our kingdom there.”
“You are the first person to know this, other than him, of course, but we’ve decided to appoint him as the Head of the Royal Knights of the Kingdom of Kalar,” the King says proudly. 
It takes everything in your willpower not to let your mouth drop open. You blink rapidly, making sure that you aren’t in a daze nor still asleep. Sure enough, you’re wide awake and your ears and eyes seem to be working perfectly. The knight next to you is taking over the highest position a knight can hold in your kingdom, one that even you haven’t been given. 
You’ve been replaced. 
“What an incredible honor,” you say, body stiff. You can practically feel the ego of the knight next to you radiating off of him. It makes your nerves twitch. 
“I think so as well,” the King says proudly. He has, luckily, not picked up on your sudden mood change. “So, I’ve called you here to appoint you as his second-in-command.”
You bow graciously at his words, ensuring that, despite your bitter attitude, you are still thankful for this opportunity. Mostly. You are mostly thankful for this opportunity. 
“I’m honored and grateful, Your Majesties,” you say, head facing the carpet. “I would rather die than let down my kingdom.”
“You two are to work together closely,” the Queen advises, words that make your ears bleed. Oh, wonderful, now you have to work hand-in-hand with the person that stole your favor with the royal household right from underneath your feet? You can think of nothing more enjoyable. “Your cooperation alone will ensure the utmost safety and security of this kingdom.”
“We shall do better than our best,” the knight beside you says. His words make your eyes roll back into your head, but you’ve been a bigger brownnoser in your past. You can forgive that, even if the man next to you radiates an energy you’d rather not surround yourself with. 
“I’m pleased to hear it. Your training and work together begins now, so do not hesitate to get to know each other.”
You and him take one baited breath each before turning to each other. You both bow out of obligatory respect, which satisfies the King and Queen well enough. And as you come up, you catch a glimpse of each other’s eyes. His are dark, rounded pupils. They’re hiding something. 
You’re determined to figure out what it is. 
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“Call me J,” the knight says the moment you’ve stepped foot outside of the palace. The setting sun shines dimly on the main road, and many of the vendors are beginning to pack up their belongings in order to head home. 
“Okay, J,” you say suspiciously. Everything about him unsettles you slightly. Perhaps it’s the fact that behind the armor and the mask and the badges, he’s extremely good-looking. Or maybe it’s the fact that he swiped the top-ranking knight position right from your fingertips. It must be that. “It’s baffling to me that we haven’t met yet. If you’ve been in such high favor with the King and Queen, then I must have seen you somewhere.” You wonder if he can hear the bitterness lacing your features. You sure hope that he can. 
“I guess our paths just never crossed,” J says, taking a bite out of a peach he just purchased from a farmer’s daughter, who was watching over the stall as her father haggled with another vendor. You watched as he winked to the girl as she gave him two peaches for the price of one. “I’m more on the ground than you are, am I not? You spend much of your time strategizing in the castle.”
“You don’t know what I do,” you huff out. He finishes the peach and wraps up the pip in a piece of cloth from his pocket before tucking it away. There is no place to dispose of it on the main street anyway. 
“Don’t I?” J says with a sly grin, one that makes you want to kick him in the shin and push him into the grass. “Everyone knows what you do, Y/N. You were the King and Queen’s favorite.”
The way he uses the past tense doesn’t go unnoticed by you. 
“But, as it seems, being on the battlefield outweighs directing it from above,” J says. He keeps his eyes off of you and his head held high while your gaze focuses in on him out of pure fury, just another way to hold his newfound superiority over your head. Five minutes next to him and he already seems to know how to push every single one of your buttons. 
“So it seems,” you say bitterly. 
“You and I really must get along, Y/N,” J says casually as you begin to stray from the hustle of the main street. Neither of you seem to have a particularly clear destination in mind, only a path that must be taken for the sake of the greater good. It’s only the prospect that if you do well enough, you’ll impress the King and Queen and regain your favor with them that’s keeping you from socking J in the face and dashing off, taking his second peach with you. “We’ll be spending lots of time together.”
“Doesn’t that sound like the bee’s knees,” you mutter to yourself. For the greater good. 
“Should it not?” J asks innocently. It makes you want to wipe that smirk right off of his face, that knowing tone in his voice. “I certainly don’t have a problem with you, Y/N. Do you happen to have one with me?”
He asks it because he knows that whatever you say will incriminate you. He knows that if you say no, you’re a goddamn liar, and that if you say yes, you’re weak. Weak because you’re admitting that you can’t handle spending time with him even though you have to. Weak because you’re showing him that he has power over you. 
“No, of course not,” you say, plastering the fakest smile on your face. Two can play at this game. “In fact, would it be alright if I had that other peach? I’m absolutely starving.” You can be civil. If he can, at least.
“Sure thing,” J says, unwrapping the peach from the woven napkin the farmer’s daughter gave him.
You reach out to take it from him, but in the blink of an eye his hand dangles it over your head, too far out of reach for you to grab without losing all of your dignity in the process. 
“What do we say, Y/N?” He asks sweetly, like a parent disciplining their child. God, everything he does absolutely aggravates you. 
You take a deep breath and close your eyes. Perhaps you aren’t on the front lines as often as he is, but you sure know how to fight. Maybe now is a good time to remind him that you received the same training he did. 
“Please?” You ask, just as saccharine. 
“As you request, Y/N,” J says with a bow, finally handing it over. 
If this is what the next several months have in store for you, you wonder if maybe sinking down to a lower ranking might be worth it after all, especially if it means you’ll never have to see him and his bouncy hair and dark eyes again. 
You take a bite into the peach. It’s sour. 
Just your luck. 
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♚ HERE ♚
When you walk into work the next day, a hush falls over the room. 
It’s not even as if the entire office has been quiet so far this workday, not as if the clock struck nine o’clock and everyone decided to start a competition to see who could shut up for the longest amount of time. 
(For the record, if anyone were to win that competition, it would be Yoongi, who usually only speaks either 1) when spoken to or 2) to let someone know when they’re being dumb via insult. The first person to lose would be Namjoon, because his job description is to boss people around. And he’s awfully good at it.)
The elevator door dinged on the twenty-third floor and you could hear Hoseok’s loud gasps and Jungkook’s cackled laugh even through the glass door that separates your office from the rest of the companies that take up residence in this particular city skyscraper. And then, as your loafers tapped on the hard linoleum floor and the glass door creaked open, the entire office fell silent. 
Quickly, you wonder if you’ve forgotten someone's birthday or if anybody’s due for a celebration of some sort. But nobody’s come to mind and the lights aren’t off, which means that this isn’t the kind of sudden silence that precedes a surprise party. 
This is the kind of sudden silence that makes everybody go, “Oh shit.”
It feels like you’re walking on eggshells as you make your way over to your desk. You’re a couple minutes late due to oversleeping (for reasons that start with J and end with -ungkook) so everybody’s already here, and the office should be as boisterous and rowdy as always. And yet, something’s different. 
You’re left entirely in the dark in concern with what the reasoning is, so you just decide that you’d rather not be the one to break the tense quiet that’s befallen your office and settle down, logging into your work desktop and checking today’s assignments on Slack. 
Five minutes pass and you can’t help but think that, of the many, many days you’ve spent in this office with these people, this has got to be the most awkward by an overwhelmingly long shot. Not even the time Namjoon showed up with his hair dyed purple and traces of a sharpie drawing with a certain phallic design on his cheek was more awkward than this. 
It seems that even Namjoon’s picked up on the vibe of your workspace today, walking in and out without a word. He wheels in a portable whiteboard from one of your meeting rooms and writes down everybody’s assignments on the board in his handwriting, which makes his O’s look like D’s. 
Ten minutes in and this is the quietest your office has ever been in the history of mankind, probably. You’re almost convinced that genuinely no one will speak to each other until five o’clock, when Jimin’s end-of-work alarm goes off and you all pack up and go home, and that today’s workday is an exercise in meditation and peace, two things that are seldom available in your usual office environment. 
And then, out of nowhere, 
“Oh my God, I can’t take it anymore,” Hoseok says loudly, letting out a breath you didn’t even realize he had been holding. It’s highly unlikely that Hoseok spent the past ten minutes holding his breath because he wasn’t allowed to talk under your office’s societal norm of silence, but you honestly can’t put it past him. Speaking is essentially the equivalent of breathing to him. “I’ve been wanting to bother Jimin for not responding to my email from yesterday for the past five minutes. I don’t even know why we’re doing this, it’s clear that Y/N doesn’t care at all about what happened.”
“What don’t I care about?” You blurt out, equally as curious as everyone else also seems to release their baited breaths. 
Hoseok and Jimin immediately begin to argue about appropriate email-response time between coworkers and Yoongi rolls a couple of feet over from his own desk to enlighten you. 
“Jungkook told everyone that you had been docked from your top rank in Kingdom, and the whole office seems to have taken it very seriously,” Yoongi mutters into your ear, making you scrunch up your nose in exasperation. Is he kidding? 
“That’s why everyone was so quiet? Because they didn’t want to bring it up?” 
“I guess so, but I was just quiet because it was nice to have the whole office shut up for a few minutes in the morning,” Yoongi says with a shrug before wheeling back to his own desk, where an anime you vaguely recognize as Haikyuu!! is playing on his monitor. 
Immediately, you whip around to meet eyes with Jungkook, who looks like he’s been expecting your furious glare all morning. He smiles guiltily and can offer you literally nothing other than a mouthed sorry because you two are in a workplace environment where shouting is, generally, socially unacceptable. 
Despite your standing on the game, it’s easy to argue and even easier to prove that your coworkers care much more about Kingdom than you do. The loading screen of the castle in Monet’s art style is Hoseok’s desktop background. Jungkook has a little sword decoration next to his computer, and a couple of his pens are official Kingdom merch that you’re pretty sure he purchased from Hot Topic. Taehyung and Jimin play during their lunch break, the only time in the workday where shouting is socially acceptable, and the both of them came to last year’s Halloween party dressed as knights. Even Namjoon’s in on the game, though he rarely has time to play and usually has no idea what everyone else is referencing when they talk about Kingdom. 
Contrastingly, you enjoy the game but very seldom do you actually broadcast that affection in public. You need to have at least some semblance of personal dignity in this absolute free-for-all of a place of employment. 
So really, it’s no wonder that all of your coworkers acted like it was the end of the world when you got knocked from first place. To them, that would be like having a winning lottery ticket only to drop it onto train tracks and watch as the public transportation system has a field day with it. 
“We’re really sorry, Y/N,” Taehyung says as he comes over and hands you a Tootsie Roll from the stash he keeps in one of his desk drawers for bad days. Apparently, this is a bad day. “Jungkook told us and we didn’t want to put salt in the wound.”
Even if their methodology was weird and slightly unsettling, the sentiment was there. “Thanks guys,” you tell Taehyung with a smile, “but I think you guys took it harder than I did.”
“Of course we did!” Jungkook says with a cry. He is objectively the most torn up out of the lot of you. “We had the top player in Kingdom in our very office, and now what! You were famous, Y/N! Whoever that bozo is who took your place is gonna feel the wrath of Jeon Jungkook and company.”
“Who’s feeling the wrath of Jeon Jungkook and company?” Seokjin asks as he strolls into the office, even later than you. To be fair, it’s looking like he’s got a box of a dozen Dunkin’ Donuts, which is enough for anyone to forgive him, even your hard headed boss. “Is it Jimin? Did he steal your Post-Its again? I saw he had a new pack.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen for barely a second before they narrow in on Jimin, who is already skirting away to find Namjoon so he can use him as a human shield. Jimin has quite the history of taking Jungkook’s office supplies only for a second and then failing to return it. 
“No, but I’m gonna deal with him later,” Jungkook says, fishing through his office supplies on the hunt for his Post-it notes, which may or may not be currently in his possession. “We were just talking about how Y/N got knocked from the top spot in Kingdom by some asshat none of us have ever heard of, and now he’s going to feel the wrath. Of us. Specifically me, but also us.”
“What wrath?” Taehyung jokes. “You’re fresh out of college. You’re practically as intimidating as a baby bunny.”
Jungkook growls just for emphasis, and it only proves Taehyung’s point more. He’s always had a baby face.  
“Well, I brought doughnuts to cheer everyone up,” Seokjin says, opening the box to reveal a dozen doughnuts of varying kinds that is likely to be finished within the next thirty seconds. 
“Oh my God, Kim Seokjin, I love you,” Hoseok says before immediately taking one and a half and bouncing off. 
“Save the pink-frosted one for me, will you? It’s my favorite,” Seokjin requests. He’s not even monitoring the box, too busy putting all his stuff away and getting settled at his desk. He’s basically asking to be robbed. 
“Aw, I wanted that one,” you joke sadly, already going for the chocolate-frosted one with rainbow sprinkles. The box is nearly three-fourths empty. Even Namjoon’s materialized out of nowhere to take the glazed one to eat while he completes the next fifty-four things on his to-do list. 
“Then let’s split it,” Seokjin says without missing a beat. Your heart does the exact opposite. 
“Jimin, you wanna split one with me?” Taehyung asks. 
“Ew, gross, no way, I want a whole one to myself,” Jimin immediately rejects. 
“I’ll go and grab it,” Seokjin says, standing up to nab the doughnut for some evil being (by the name of Jimin) takes it for himself. He plucks it from the box and takes two napkins, too, walking over to your desk as he splits the doughnut in half. 
“For you,” he says casually, like it isn’t making your heart beat out of your chest. 
“Thank you, kind sir,” you say jokingly, taking the doughnut and placing it on the napkin he hands to you. 
“Tell me about this Kingdom thing? You got knocked from first place?” Seokjin asks, making conversation as he lingers by your desk. It’s obvious that nobody’s going to be getting any work done. 
“Yeah, but it’s really nothing special. Everyone was making a huge deal out of it, which you should be very glad you missed, because the first ten minutes of this workday were absolutely silent and it was awful in every way that something can be awful,” you tell him. 
Seokjin laughs, and it warms you from the inside out. “Then I’m glad that I came late,” he says with a chuckle. “I couldn’t imagine a day where Jimin and Taehyung were silent for more than two minutes.”
“I lived through it,” you say, smiling. “Anyway, everyone seems to have gotten over the fact that I’m no longer the top-ranked Kingdom player. I’m kind of down about it myself, just because I worked really hard, but whoever it is that took over, I’m glad for them. I mean, it’s just a game.”
“That it is,” Seokjin says. “How about a toast to your Kingdom-playing skills, and to whoever it is that beat you.”
“Cheers,” you say, holding out your half of the doughnut. 
“Cheers,” Seokjin echoes. 
The two of you clink doughnuts, and they squish together awkwardly. 
“You should bring doughnuts more often,” You muse.
“If it means we don’t have to work and can just talk like this, then I will,” Seokjin says as he takes a bite, already heading back over to his own desk. He waves goodbye with a smile, and only then do you finally indulge. 
Sweet. As always. 
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♚ THERE ♚
When you were moved to the Military Tactics Unit, the King and Queen pulled you out of military training in favor of you spending more time working on strategies for the Kingdom’s armies rather than sparring with fellow Knights. It was a wise move on the part of Their Royal Highnesses, who feared losing you to a rebel group or warring kingdom, and you didn’t mind not having to engage in the physicality of training with those that would be spending more time on the battlefield. 
And at the time, you saw it as a much-needed break from hand-to-hand combat training for years on end when you hadn’t set foot on the front lines in months. But now, that decision has decided to come back and bite you where it hurts. 
Because as second-in-command to the Head of the Knights, you (and J, both luckily and unluckily) are tasked with the important duty of supervising the military training of the new recruits. This spells doom in various ways, some of which include (and are not limited to):
Having to spend more time with J. 
Having to spend more time with J without letting all of the recruits know you both vastly dislike each other. 
Having to spend more time with J in a scenario in which there is constant hand-to-hand combat. 
Having to spend more time with J without being able to make up an excuse about needing to attend to urgent military business in order to leave. 
Having to spend more time with J. 
Attempting to remember how to spar.
So, in essence, you’re screwed. 
This is the mindset with which you walk into your very first training session in over six months, a few minutes late, of course. Recently you’ve been attempting to calculate the maximum amount of time you can spend either being tardy or leaving early from events that involve J without you facing any repercussions. So far it’s been working out well. 
When you walk in the door, before you can greet any of the recruits or even offer J a slightly sarcastic wave, he says, “Look who’s finally shown up,” loud enough for all of the recruits to turn to look as you stroll in tardy. 
“I got held up by a vendor on the main road, my apologies,” you lie like a liar. It’s obvious that J does not believe you whatsoever, but it satisfies the recruits, who return to their business as usual. 
“Well, you’re just in time for warm-up,” J says, false positivity radiating throughout every single word. 
You walk up to where he stands at the front of the room, wearing much less of his official armor than he normally is. Right now, he stands in front of you in a plain tan cotton shirt and training pants, similar to the rest of the recruits. It’s really quite jarring, to see him dressed so differently from what he usually wears—dark armor and scarlet red sashes. It makes him seem… almost softer. 
“Thought you might have bailed on me,” J mutters into your ear as the recruits begin to stretch. 
“Have a little more faith in me, for God’s sake,” you grumble in return. You may not like him, but you aren’t about to abandon your responsibilities just because of a little bit of distaste. 
“Do you wanna take warm-up, or should I?” He offers, motioning to the recruits. They all look so nervous, so desperate to prove themselves on the first day of training. It reminds you of yourself, like you’re looking into a mirror and a time machine all at once. 
“You’re the boss,” you say, unabashedly letting the bitterness seep through your tone. “You choose.”
Unsurprisingly, J decides to let you handle the warm-up session, something that is just a precursor to the main event and therefore, not as important. He takes a couple of steps back and follows your instructions as you go through stretches and basic movements in combat, allowing all of the recruits to get a feel for what knighthood is really like in the Kingdom of Kalar. Warm-up was always your least favorite part during training, so boring in comparison to the sparring and hand-to-hand combat that you would engage in soon after. Sure, it was necessary, but when you were a wide-eyed, overeager trainee, you were willing to risk a pulled muscle if it meant you could beat someone up sooner. 
With this in mind, you wrap up the session in a fairly timely manner, letting the recruits do their own stretching after everything absolutely necessary has been covered. It also means that you can sit back and let J do most of the heavy lifting, which, while you’re bitter about him getting all of the attention, is better than having to do it yourself based solely upon memory. You remember combat well enough to handle yourself in the battlefield, but the technicalities of training have completely slipped your memory by now. 
J and everything else about him may leave a sour taste in your mouth, but you have to admit that he’s a good teacher and an even better morale booster. This must come from his experience out in the field, on the front lines, where raising his troops’ spirits came as a necessary quality to develop when times were tough. 
He speaks slowly, explains everything in enough detail to cover all of the bases without losing attention, and frequently opens up the floor for questions. And as per usual, the recruits already begin to cling to him like vines, desperate to soak up every ounce of knowledge that he doles out. 
J doesn’t need the ego boost, that’s for certain. 
“Now that I’ve gone through everything, I believe that the best way to learn how to spar is just to start doing it, even if you haven’t the slightest clue what you’re doing. Despite what you may think about me, experience is the best teacher,” he says with a smile, earning a laugh from the crowd. 
You roll your eyes. 
“Um, sir?” A timid recruit raises her hand, her body curled in on herself. You take one look at her, and know that she’ll come out of her shell soon enough. 
“Yes, a question?” J asks. 
“Would you mind giving a demonstration? Just so we can watch. So we, well, don’t injure ourselves or each other while we’re sparring.”
A demonstration? You blink, having awoken from the trance you had placed yourself in one J stepped up to take over the training session. Doesn’t a demonstration mean… well, you and him?
J seems to come to this realization at the same time that you do, and grins wildly, giddy. He knows exactly how much you’ll hate doing this, which is all the more reason to say yes. “Of course, we’d be happy to. Y/N?”
You hold in the sigh you’ve been wanting to let out for about five minutes now, taking a deep exhale as you turn to face J. You’ve been in close proximity to him before, but you are about to get a whole lot closer. 
“If you say so,” you say with a shrug, trying to keep this as lighthearted and casual as possible. Though, both of those things are likely to be tossed out the window now that you’re about to spar with your worst enemy. 
J grabs a mat from the side of the room to lay down on the floor in front of you, and the two of you step onto it. Instantly, you’re transported back to when you were still in training, bouncing up and down on your feet with your fists raised in front of you, ready to take on the next recruit. You had always been quite good at sparring, back then. 
Now is a completely different story. 
“Are you ready?” J asks as you face each other in front of a crowd of recruits, all of whom are watching you with hawk-like intensity. 
“Guess I can’t say ‘no’, can I?” You joke, though if J offers you a way out of this, you’d gladly take it, shame and dignity be damned. 
“Well then, do your worst.”
He’s an open target. You’ve never been given an opportunity to sock him in the face before now, and you’d absolutely love to take it, but this is a sparring session, not a revenge session. That can be saved for a later date. Instead, you bounce on your feet like a nervous, excitable recruit, and aim for his neck. 
He easily dodges, but you expected that, and counter his attack with your leg. It goes back and forth like this, as your muscle memory kicks in and you remember exactly what sparring was like back in your training sessions. For a few seconds in the middle of it, you genuinely think you and him are on a pretty level playing field. 
And then—
One punch gone wrong and he’s got you lifted up off of the ground and onto his back, having grabbed your wrist at the perfect time to hoist you over his shoulder. You gasp in shock, body not necessarily remembering this part, and then—
He slams the both of you down onto the mat, your back hitting the cushion with a thud as the breathe gets knocked from your lungs. You definitely haven’t done this part in a while. 
You know the recruits are all watching you intently, but you refuse to lose like this, even if this is normally the part where the person pinned underneath the other one surrenders. With both of your arms and all of your force, you attempt to shove J off of you by using your elbow to punch him in the chest. If you go down (which you most certainly will), you will go down with a fight. 
He sees your move coming from a mile away, and immediately pins both of your arms above your head with a simple swish of his hand. The other one is holding up his body by your head as you both stare at each other, breathing heavily. His leg sits in between both of yours, resting up against your thigh, and his head hovers a very dangerous less-than-three inches away from your own. If a particularly near-sighted person were to stumble upon the both of you, you’d be absolutely screwed. 
The both of you gaze into each other’s eyes for a second, the wind knocked out of you. You never quite realized what his face looks like up close. His cheeks are bright red. But it’s a second too long because the recruits have gone silent, refusing to applaud or do anything else to signal that the sparring match is over. 
And then, it feels like a million years pass as J slowly removes himself from on top of your body, standing up and dusting his hands off before leaning down and offering his hand to help you up. Too floored and absolutely speechless to reject his extended palm like you normally would, you grab onto his hand and let him hoist you up, unable to speak. 
“How was that for a demonstration?” J asks the recruits, who are all blinking like they’ve just witnessed something far too shocking for their liking. 
Another trainee, a boisterous young man who walked into today’s session with his energy fully up and his eyes on the prize, raises his hand. “Could you show us again?”
You and J take one look at each other. 
No. Way. 
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♚ HERE ♚
Because your office is both tightly knit and also uncannily resembles a cast of grown adults playing various high school stereotypes in a Hallmark movie, every year you do Office Superlatives. Office superlatives are basically an excuse for everyone to come up with a way to insult each other 1) while getting paid to do so and 2) without facing any repercussions whatsoever. 
For three years in a row, your office has designated you as “Most Likely to Spill Coffee on Someone Really Important”, a superlative that came about because on your very first day, you spilled your coffee on the one and only Kim Namjoon, who you then mistook as your boss, and thus ensued the most embarrassing one minute and thirteen seconds of your entire life in front of a bunch of colleagues you would have to see every weekday for the foreseeable future. 
Thankfully, you haven’t spilled your coffee on anyone important since then, even if you do regularly knock over your pencil cup and send every pastel-colored highlighter flying across the hardwood floor. It became such a frequent occurrence that, for April Fool’s Day last year, Taehyung and Jimin taped every single thing on your desk to your desk to see how long it would take you to notice. 
(It took you over three weeks, but that’s besides the point.)
“I know that the saying is ‘the customer is always right’, but this client I’m working with right now is literally wrong,” Taehyung says with a sigh. He collapses back in his office chair, mindlessly playing with the fur of the stuffed Pomeranian dog he keeps on his desk, staring down the email on his desktop. “Like, I’m not Squarespace or Wix. Either you pay me to design your website entirely, or you do it yourself. I’m not a drag-and-drop of a person, and I don’t get paid to be consulted on every font choice.”
“Didn’t you write on your resume that you can identify every standard Microsoft font without being told the name?” Yoongi asks with a frown from across the office. He’s making the most of his gigantic desktop computer, and has a tab open with One Punch Man right next to a Photoshop logo design he’s working on. 
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I want to do it,” Taehyung says with a frown. “I need someone who knows how to let people down easily.”
“Jimin?” Hoseok pipes up unhelpfully, earning an eraser to the face from Jimin, who is notorious for going on a bunch of first dates and very, very seldom going on a second one. You don’t even think that for the entire time you’ve known him, he’s ever gone a third date with someone. Ever. 
“Do not make fun of my lifestyle choices!” Jimin shouts out defensively. “I just like meeting new people.”
“Yeah,” Hoseok says like a white girl in a Disney Channel Original Movie, “and then never meeting them again.”
“That’s where you’re mistaken,” Jimin tells him pointedly, already beginning to stand up from his office chair to attempt to further convince him that serial-first-dating isn’t all that bad. “Two weeks ago, I saw this guy that I had gone on a date with last year and he told me that his friend was starting up a small pet barbershop business and needed help with the graphic design for his company. Now I’m designing this guy’s logo and backsplash for his wall.” He says matter-of-factly. 
Hoseok frowns. “So, what I’m hearing is that you saw a guy you had gone on a date with last year, and what you got out of it, was more work.”
Jimin opens his mouth to say something else, but he flounders. Hoseok cackles to himself, shaking his head because Jimin’s just proved his point further. 
“I’ll ask Seokjin,” Taehyung says with a sigh. “He could tell me that I’ve lost my job and that I’m getting evicted from my apartment and I would thank him.”
Amen. 
“Hey, where is Seokjin?” Jungkook asks, spinning around in his office chair for the most efficient way to scan the entire office in search of the man. “He was just here watching One Punch Man with Yoongi.”
“I didn’t even notice he had gotten up,” Yoongi says, turning to the empty spot next to him where Seokjin once was. 
“I’ll go look for him, I need to grab something from the printer, anyway,” you volunteer, pushing your chair back, standing up, and avoiding the gazes of anybody in the office who happens to have knowledge of your not-so-secret secret crush. This means that you are staring down at the lines of the wooden planks in the floor as you walk over to the back hallway, because every single person in the room currently has at least… well… some insight. 
“He’s all yours, Y/N,” Taehyung wolf whistles, making you roll your eyes as you head down the hallway.  
Too busy counting the planks that make up the hardwood floor and hoping that you’ll maybe be able to identify Seokjin by the shoes he’s wearing rather than anything else, you don’t look at where you’re going as you make a beeline for the printing room. That is, you make a beeline for the printing room until you crash right into an unsuspecting colleague. 
“Oh, shit!” Said colleague cries out.
Oh God. 
You look up to find Seokjin standing in front of you, a nearly-empty cup of low-grade office coffee in his hand, and a growing brown stain on his pale blue dress shirt. One look on the floor and there’s a puddle of coffee gathered at your feet, wet splotches on your flats and his loafers. 
“Y/N, are you alright?” Seokjin asks, eyes wide and apologetic as he immediately searches for some place to put down his coffee to avoid any more casualties. He looks right at you, making you want to curl in on yourself, before his eyes train down to your torso.
Only then do you realize he’s not shamelessly staring at your chest, but rather at the massive brown stain on the front of your blouse, quickly seeping into the fabric, the scalding temperature of the coffee having gone right over your head the moment you realized who exactly it was that you crashed into. 
“Uh…” you stammer, brain crashing as everything that’s just happened in the past thirty seconds catches up to you all at once. 
“Oh my God, I’m such a mess,” Seokjin says, fumbling awkwardly as he finally finds a trash can to toss his sad lump of a coffee cup into.
No you’re not, you want to tell him, but the words don’t come out and you’re left standing there, looking sort of like you blame him for everything, when in reality, you just have no idea how to function in front of him. 
“Coffee stains,” Seokjin says, hands fishing through his seemingly bottomless pants pockets (he could probably fit an entire Nintendo Switch and its dock in there) until he pulls out this measly little thing that vaguely resembles your orange highlighter. “Here, I have a Tide To-Go pen.”
Before you can tell him that you can just deal with the stain and wash it in the privacy of your own home where you don’t look like a bumbling idiot, he grabs your hand and pulls you into the gender neutral bathroom nearby, locking the door as the light flickers on. 
“Here, do you need help?” Seokjin asks, holding out his Tide To-Go pen as he wets a paper towel made of entirely recycled materials and begins fruitlessly dabbing at his shirt. 
“I’m alright, really,” you insist, staring into the mirror and trying desperately to avoid the fact that Seokjin’s shirt becomes transparent when it’s wet. Maybe quitting your job and moving to another city doesn’t sound unappealing after all. “I can just get it out with OxiClean at my apartment, Seokjin, seriously.”
“Are you sure? That’s what the Tide To-Go pen is for,” Seokjin says, holding it out towards you again as a final attempt to get you to use it. 
“No offense, Seokjin, but I don’t know if the Tide To-Go pen is even going to make a dent in the stain on my shirt,” you chuckle, the only thing you can think of to get him to stop offering the thing to you. The Tide To-Go pen is meant for when you accidentally get a bit of ketchup onto your jeans as you move the french fry from your plate to your mouth. Not when you’ve got a giant coffee stain on the front of your shirt. 
“God, I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Seokjin says, unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt to try and get a better grip on the fabric as he relentlessly scrubs at it. God help you. He may as well take the whole thing off at this point—though you really, really hope that he doesn’t. “I’m such a klutz.”
“No, it’s my fault, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” you tell him. You still know that you passed by 107 wooden planks before you crashed into him, because that is what you do when you don’t want to look anyone in the eye. 
“Seriously, though, I had the cup of coffee. I feel really bad, I could pay to get it dry cleaned for you?” He offers, eyes wide and in search of some way to make it up to you. 
“No, no, that’s not necessary. I’m can handle a stain, Seokjin. I’m an adult. I live in my own apartment and everything,” you say firmly, refusing to accept anything else from him. God, if he paid for your dry-cleaning, you’d never be able to live that down. “Maybe I’ll finally stop being voted Most Likely to Spill Coffee on Someone Important,” you joke, trying to make light of the fact that you’re standing in the tiny gender-neutral bathroom together, Seokjin’s practically got half of his transparent dress shirt unbuttoned, and you both have massive and very conspicuous brown stains on your tops. All wonderful, wonderful things. 
At this point, Seokjin stares down at his shirt and, quite frankly, just gives up, smoothing out his shirt as best as he can and tossing the poor, now-coffee-colored paper towel away. 
“I suppose it’s high time we give you a break for always knocking over that pencil cup of yours,” Seokjin jokes back as he opens the door, motioning for you to leave first. 
“We should invest in some Velcro for it,” you suggest, making Seokjin chuckle as he shuts the door behind him. 
“Uh… what the fuck?” 
The two of you are stopped in your tracks by a particularly suspicious Taehyung, who just witnessed the two of you walk out of the same bathroom with both of your clothes fairly askew. 
“It’s not what it looks like,” you immediately tell him, eyes wide. Count on him to get the wrong idea. 
“Okay,” Taehyung says, eyes narrowed. “Sure.”
“Taehyung, come on, I spilled coffee on the both of us,” Seokjin attempts, but Taehyung is absolutely not having it. 
“That’s what they all say,” he says cryptically, nodding as he heads to the printer room with his eyes still narrowed. He glares at the both of you until he rounds the corner, out of sight, and by then your cheeks have heated up so badly you think you might actually start sweating.
“Now the whole office is going to think we’re dating,” you say, somewhat jokingly but also somewhat seriously. There’s no way Taehyung’s going to be able to keep his mouth shut for any longer than the next five minutes. 
Seokjin laughs, looking at you and shrugging. “There are worse things, right?”
Are there?
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♚ THERE ♚
“Oh, Y/N!”
You inhale. 
Of all of the places in the Kingdom that J has not yet infiltrated and ruined for you, the small cafe on the edge of the kingdom borders has to have been the last one. You discovered it while you were on night watch as a baby knight, a task given to those too dedicated to the job to release but not yet prepared enough to fight on the front lines. It’s a quiet place, open more hours of the day than closed, owned by an old lady with no other family to take care of the business. You’ve already promised her that after she passes, you will immediately begin funding the cafe yourself, too much money on your hands and not enough wonderful places like this to spend it on.
When days are loud and hectic, when the King and Queen and all of their military advisors are stressed and have been snapping at you all day, this is where you come. The old lady keeps her door open especially for you (at least that’s what she tells you), always with a steaming cup of jasmine tea and a wise old story to tell you. Sometimes, you’ll get to tell a story back, and you exchange words of wisdom from a knight at the highest ranking in the kingdom and an elder with many years of experience in the kingdom behind her. She always tells you, “keep your eyes wide and your heart open, because things can only enter it if you’re looking out for them.”
You’ve held those words close to your soul ever since the first time you heard them. 
But when your eyes are wide and staring down a certain knight in the kingdom who seems to have stumbled upon your one sacred place, you’re a little bothered, to say the least.
You exhale.
“Fancy seeing you here,” you say sourly, the scalding tea burning your tongue as you take a sip. 
“I’ve never seen this place before,” J admits helplessly, already bowing to the old lady who runs the place. He introduces himself handsomely, and much like everyone else bewitched by his good looks and unrealistically charismatic personality, she immediately warms up to him. 
“I wish it could stay that way,” you mumble to yourself, far too quiet for anyone except you and your tea to hear. “It’s far away,” you say to him as the lady ushers him to the seat next to yours, already promising him tea on the house. You sigh. “Wouldn’t expect you to go hunting for a nice tea place when there are so many wonderful places in the city.”
“I guess it’s nice to branch out,” J says with a shrug. “I have to say that I don’t really go out to cafes all that often. Too busy.”
“You know I understand how that goes,” you tell him honestly. For once, it’s something you can actually relate to. “But I think that it’s important to take a break from our duties and just relax. We don’t have much time to do that, you know.”
The lady brings over tea, and J insists he pay her for it despite her insistence for him not to. She shuffles off into the back before he can even get out some coins.
“Tell me, where can I leave this? I feel terrible not paying,” J asks you. It catches you off guard, really, mostly because he seems to be the kind of person who walks around the center square winking at every vendor in the hopes of receiving free merchandise. 
“Oh,” you say, embarrassingly speechless. “Well, I suppose I could take it and give it to her. If we left rather soon then we could simply leave it on the counter for her to find. It’s likely that she won’t come back out for a while, since I have company.”
“Am I your company, Y/N?” J asks, almost teasingly. It makes you want to chuck your cup of jasmine tea into his face. 
“Don’t think too much of it,” you advise him, a warning to tell him to knock it off. “We’re just here together.”
“Lucky us,” J says, holding up his cup of tea for a toast. You indulge him (begrudgingly so), letting your glasses clink together as you both finish a much needed warm drink on a chilly afternoon. 
Too soon, the respite of the cafe is broken by a knock at the door. You both turn to find a messenger waiting patiently outside the cafe, motioning for J to come and speak to him. 
“If you’ll excuse me,” J says, scooting back his chair and heading over, shutting the door behind him. 
The moment the door closes, the old lady reappears from the back of the room, collecting your finished cups as you both listen intently to the murmuring outside. 
“That young man mentioned that the two of you spend lots of time together,” the muses, cleaning the cups with a wet rag. She’s got a knowing look in her eye, like she’s picked up on something the both of you seem to have overlooked. 
“We’re both knights,” you correct. It’s important to you that she knows that you don’t spend time together out of personal preference. It’s merely obligation. “So we see each other quite often.”
“I’ve never seen him around before,” she says pointedly, “but he seems to know quite a lot about you.”
“Oh, not really,” you insist. How could he? You’ve barely known him a month. Still, it’s clear that the lady doesn’t believe you. 
“As you say,” she says, skeptical. 
You’re about to open your mouth and reject her notions further, but then the door opens up again, and J looks terribly apologetic as he walks inside, joining your side. “We’ve been called in.”
As per usual, the Kingdom appears with impeccable timing to ruin the rest of your afternoon. It has a striking tendency to do that. 
“For what?” You ask, exasperated. J doesn’t look much happier. 
“Criminal hearings,” J says, and the words make you you toss your head back and sigh. 
Criminal hearings and its many, many procedures are quite possibly your least favorite part of being a top-ranked royal knight. With your knowledge of the ins and outs of the military and the kingdom’s inner workings, as well as with you being an advisor to the generals and the King and Queen, you are often obligated to attend these, just in case there is a desperate need for the technicalities of military crimes that no one else can provide. It is, admittedly, extremely boring, since you can’t really offer any sort of insight or opinion on the actual criminal and their crime at hand. 
“Fine,” you say, suddenly much less energized than you were approximately thirty seconds ago. “I suppose that we’ll have to be on our way.”
“Ma’am,” J says, attracting the attention of the old lady behind the counter. He holds out some coins, palm facing up. “Please accept this from me. I couldn’t leave without paying you for your wonderful tea and service.”
“Oh, pish posh,” the lady says with a shake of her hand. “Any friend of Y/N’s is well-deserving of some tea. You both work very hard. You should take any opportunity that presents itself to relax, and enjoy being young.”
“Please,” J insists, placing the coins in her hand, “a token of my gratitude. We shall return soon, right Y/N?” He gives your shoulder a nudge, making you look up at him. Return? You’d be blessed if J forgot about this place entirely, though you know that he’s bound to come back soon. 
Perhaps there are worse things than losing your favorite cafe to him. Perhaps, you can simply learn to enjoy his company, instead. 
“Of course, how could I resist?” You say, waving goodbye to the lady at the counter. “We really must be going, but I shall see you soon.”
“Take care of yourselves, the both of you!” She sees you off with a smile and a wink directed right at you for a cause you aren’t too keen on picking up. Old ladies are always so vague. 
When you walk outside, you’re surprised to find yourselves alone. “Where’s the messenger guard?” You ask, looking around to see if he’s found a tree to take respite from the sun under. 
J laughs, warm and hearty. “I sent him off, told him we would be able to make it ourselves.”
“Oh, alright,” you say with a shrug, already beginning to trudge the familiar path towards the castle. 
You take six steps before realizing that J is neither next to you nor following you, still standing on the porch of the cafe as the sun makes his hair glimmer a dark caramel in the light. 
“Aren’t you coming?” You turn around to ask, an eyebrow raised as you tap your foot on the cobblestone road. 
“Have you ever skipped a criminal hearing before, Y/N?” J asks, and the very notion of bailing makes your eyes go wide. 
“Skipped?” You clarify. 
“That’s what I said,” J confirms. 
“No…” You trail off, feeling more and more like the try hard you once were while training, wide-eyed and eager to prove yourself. Standing in front of him, rocking back and forth on your toes and twiddling your fingers as he steps off of the porch, taking long strides to reach you, makes you feel so nervous. With every step he takes closer to you, your heart begins to beat faster, faster, faster. 
“Well,” J says, reaching out his hand to take hold of your own. “Would you like to start?”
When you were stationed on the Kingdom’s borders, you thought you had explored every nook and cranny of Kala. You had wandered through forests, across rivers, and into small edge villages with goods you had never even heard of before. You thought you had seen it all. 
Clearly, you were mistaken. 
J pulls you off of the cobblestone path and immediately takes you into the woods that surround the cafe, weaving past trees and ferns and grass alike. This time of year, the forest is ripe with greenery, right when summer is coming to an end but the leaves have yet to begin to fade to brown. Even without landmarks or a path to guide him, J seems to know exactly where the two of you are going, like he’s taken this road a million times before. And still, you had never seen him before this. 
It’s a wonder that the two of you missed each other for so long. 
“Where are we going, J?” You ask, laughing as the exhilaration of skipping your duties in favor of a fun day in the forest begins to flow through your veins. You’ve never done this before. 
“Just wait, you’ll see,” he says cryptically, taking you down a large hill. You must be out of the Kingdom borders by now, with how far you’ve been going, and yet, no one had ever thought to place guards in this area. 
Five more minutes of travelling and you’re near convinced that J is about to take you to some cave in the floor of the forest and murder you, when he tugs you up a hill to reveal—
It’s a clearing with grass so green you’d almost think it was enchanted. The leaves of the trees whisper to each other, voices flowing with the wind that breezes by each and every one, saying hello to the branches as they rustle. Tall grass and ferns grow on the edge of the forest, disguising the clearing to anyone who wouldn’t bother to keep looking, make their way through the overgrowth and into the oasis. 
Never in a million years would you have been able to find this place on your own. 
“What do you think?” J asks excitedly as he pulls you into the middle of the clearing, where the leaves of the trees have left an opening for the sun to shine through, a halo in the middle of the forest. 
“I—I’m speechless,” you say, eyes wandering from every piece of bark to every blade of grass. You’ve always loved your Kingdom and its beauty, from the extravagant castle to the little shacks on the border, but this is more than that. This isn’t just beauty—it’s magic. “How did you find this place?”
“Strayed from the pack during military training outside,” he says guiltily. Clearly, skipping out on responsibilities has become a habit of J’s. 
“Unbelievable,” you say, fingers tracing along the wildflowers growing close to the forest floor. You take a seat in the middle of it all, letting the sun stream through the leaves as the flowers open their petals at your touch. It’s as if every single living thing has been enchanted—like none of this could exist naturally. 
“Do you like it?” J asks, taking a seat on the stone next to you. He reaches down to run his fingers through the grass, letting the soft dirt gather on his skin. 
“I don’t think I have the words,” you tell him. You thought you had found a hidden respite from the hustle and bustle, but he has found not just a respite. He’s found a home. “Why would you show me this place?”
“What do you mean?” J asks. He finds a small yellow flower, a buttercup, and plucks it from the ground, twirling it between his fingers.
“I mean, why would you bring me here? Wouldn’t you want to keep this place all for yourself?” You inquire, curious. Certainly, that’s what you would do. 
J pauses for a moment, staring down at the buttercup in his hands. Wordlessly, he hands it to you, watches as your fingers touch his own, taking the buttercup from him. You twirl it between your fingers, and wonder what all of this means. 
“No,” he eventually answers. “Because a place like this deserves to be shared with the people that deserve to see it.”
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♚ HERE ♚
[You have 5 unread messages]
Jungkook (5:53PM): Is it still acceptable to talk about Kingdom at company dinners? Jungkook (5:53PM): Is the ban that Yoongi instated last company dinner still going? Do you think he’ll be mad if I talk about how I just got a bunch of gold from solving the mystery of the time capsule?
Yoongi (5:55PM): If I have to sit through another company dinner where everyone is talking about Kingdom and nobody is talking about anime or my dog Holly I will lose it
Taehyung (5:57PM): You’re coming, right? You mentioned having a thing that ended pretty late this evening so you weren’t sure you’d make it
Seokjin (6:03PM): Excited to see you tonight! Promise I won’t spill anything on you tonight haha
Your office’s annual company dinner is the one and only opportunity you, as employees, get per year to talk about whatever you like in front of your colleagues, all while getting a meal paid for by your wonderfully unassuming, hardheaded boss. It is both a celebration of camaraderie and, of course, being employed, and a chance for your personal group to talk about Kingdom for two hours straight without repercussions. 
Needless to say, many of you are looking forward to it. 
To Jungkook (6:07PM): Yes, but only if we get to talk about how I’m still the best at the game out of everyone To Jungkook (6:07PM): Also, don’t forget to talk to Yoongi about My Hero Academia I know that you secretly love it
To Yoongi (6:08PM): Bring earplugs? Or maybe a manga book to get the conversation going?
To Taehyung (6:08PM): Yeah, I’ll be there To Taehyung (6:08PM): Probably be late though To Taehyung (6:09PM): Save me a seat!
To Seokjin (6:10PM): Not sure if I can promise the same thing! Fingers crossed we make it out tonight unscathed by scalding hot liquids
The company dinner starts at 6:30, which means that it really starts at 7:00 by the time everyone arrives, but even still, you’ll probably be late because you are actually doing last-minute laundry, and not attending a special event like you had told Taehyung. Sue you. Your clothes were dirty. 
Standing in the middle of your apartment wearing the slouchiest clothes you own, you wonder if it’s even worth going when you know that you will probably 1) be late and 2) have to endure two hours worth of Kingdom talk and other things that leave you thoroughly embarrassed, like your nonexistent love life. 
You’ve never skipped out on a company dinner before, but then again, never have all of your colleagues been so on top of you about your very insignificant, not at all soul-crushing, extremely minimal, super unimportant, tiny little infatuation with a certain coworker, so there’s that to consider. 
Not to mention the fact that your entire office genuinely believes that the two of you hooked up in the gender neutral bathroom during the middle of the workday, which is a circumstance so improbable you have no idea how Taehyung managed to convince everybody that that was actually what happened. It’s not as if your coworkers didn’t see the ridiculous brown stains on the front of your and Seokjin’s shirts, or didn’t smell the office coffee stench all over the both of you. 
So, for once in your life, you are genuinely considering just staying at home, finishing your laundry, and eating the frozen veggie burritos you bought from Costco two weeks ago. It sounds very tempting.
This thought is immediately combated by the fact that you usually have some of the most fun during the year at this company dinner, and a free meal at a nice, upscale restaurant is something that you would normally never pass up. But then again, Seokjin will be there and he will be dressed very nicely, and the rest of your coworkers will also be there, and they will be relentless. 
Jungkook (6:33PM): Tae said you’d be late but please come soon! We can’t talk about Kingdom without the best player present!!!! Jungkook (6:33PM): Oh no Namjoon sees me with my phone
And out of every possible text you could have received that night, that one is the one that convinces you to pull out the same dress you’ve worn to the company dinner (it’s not as if anyone else will remember) every other year, tug it on, and head out. Your Costco veggie burritos will have to wait for another stay-at-home night. 
You arrive fashionably late as always, walking into the restaurant and just asking for directions to where the “big group of loud office workers” is, a term easily identifiable by the scrambled hostess with fifteen different tables to seat all at once. She points you to the back room, where you can already hear Hoseok’s laughter from outside in the main dining area. 
“You guys are loud,” you say in lieu of a greeting, everyone letting out cries of “Y/N!” and “You made it!” as you look around for the last empty seat. 
“Here, saved you a spot right next to me,” Seokjin volunteers helpfully, motioning to the empty velvet chair next to him. In the seat next to that sits Taehyung, who is grinning guiltily, like he didn’t just dupe you into thinking he had saved you a seat next to him and someone else other than the person you were hoping not to embarrass yourself in front of. 
“Thinking of me when I’m not even here, how thoughtful,” you say, walking over and sending a glare Taehyung’s way as you take your seat, the glass at the top right corner of your placemat already filled. 
“How could we forget about you?” Seokjin reasons, and he says it so casually but it makes your heart flutter all the same. 
When Seokjin’s finally started talking to Hoseok and Jimin on his other side, the two of them attempting to explain the inner workings of Kingdom to him (to little avail, as per usual), you round on Taehyung, who is every bit the best wingman and the worst friend in the entire world. 
“How could you do this to me?” You hiss at him, trying not to attract the attention of the man sitting on the opposite side of you. 
“I said I had saved you a seat!” Taehyung says defensively, clearly enjoying himself way too much. 
“This was not what I had in mind,” you tell him pointedly. 
“Obviously, otherwise I wouldn’t have hidden it from you,” Taehyung says. He motions to Seokjin, who’s laughing at something that Jimin’s just said, eyes crinkled into half moons as the waiter places the cocktail he’s ordered down in front of him. “You know, it’s not so bad having a crush on him, right?”
“He is our coworker and way out of my league, of course it is,” you remind Taehyung. 
Taehyung shrugs you off with a wave of his hand. “Give yourself some credit, Y/N. You’re hot. Embrace it.”
“I will not, thank you very much. This conversation makes me want to hurl,” you say as normally as possible, blinking to show your discomfort to Taehyung. 
“You need to stop being so afraid of what might actually come out of this,” Taehyung says, a reassuring hand on your arm. “You never know what might happen.”
“What’s definitely going to happen is that I’m going to feel too cold from the vent above my head, and we’re going to switch seats,” you say. You immediately make to stand up, but Taehyung grabs onto your wrist and looks up at you like a child begging for candy in a supermarket. 
“Please, Y/N? Just give it a try, and if you hate it by the time the entree comes around, we can switch. Alright?” He asks, a simple compromise to get you to sit back down. 
You sigh. You suppose it wouldn’t hurt to shoot your shot, no matter how terrible your aim is. 
“I didn’t order any soup, so hopefully we can last through this dinner without ruining more of our clothes,” Seokjin says, an icebreaker to ease the obvious tension between the two of you. He breaks down your walls so easily, carves out a path in the side of it to waltz right through. 
“I don’t know,” you say sarcastically,” you better finish that cocktail soon or we might both be in big trouble.”
Seokjin chuckles, warm and full, and takes another sip of the fruity drink for good measure. “Don’t know how you keep getting crowned Most Likely to Spill Coffee on Someone Important when I’m here, a walking coffee volcano.”
“When the superlatives roll around, I’ll petition the court and see if we can crown you instead,” you promise. 
“I’m honored. I’ll cherish that title for as long as I live,” Seokjin jokes, bowing to you just for good measure. “This is nice, you know.”
“What is?” You ask, peering down at the large group menu. Everything looks awfully delicious and awfully expensive, so you just go for a classic pasta dish and hope that Taehyung orders something different, so you can try each other’s. 
“Sitting next to you,” Seokjin says like it’s obvious, making you blink at your menu like it’s just offended your entire family ancestry. “I don’t think we’ve ever been paired up like this at a company dinner.”
“Well, there’s a first time for everything, right?” You ask hopefully. 
“It’s nice,” Seokjin says. “I feel like we don’t get to talk very much at work.”
“You said you’d bring more doughnuts,” you remind him. Seokjin has held up on his promise, actually, and since the first round of doughnuts, he’s brought on two more occasions to brighten up everybody’s day. 
“I think I need a better excuse than doughnuts,” Seokjin says to himself. “I can’t keep going to Dunkin’ right before work, pretty soon all of the workers will know me by name and that is a level that I’m not sure I’d like to reach yet.”
“Don’t feel bad,” you tell him, a hand instinctively coming to rest on his shoulder as comfort. “Some of the Costco employees recognize me even when I’m wearing my sunglasses inside.”
“You wear your sunglasses inside Costco?” Seokjin asks with a laugh. 
“Sometimes I just forget to take them off when I walk from my car into the store!” You say defensively. “It’s really bright in there, sue me.”
“No, no, I think it’s cute,” Seokjin assures you. “Maybe being recognized by the Dunkin’ employees won’t be that bad. At least they probably wouldn’t know who I was if I had my sunglasses on.”
“I’m being attacked, I’m pretty sure,” you say pointedly. 
“Only affectionately. You’re still ridiculously endearing.” Seokjin says with a chuckle, smiling at you as Jungkook calls your name to tell him something about Kingdom that he’s forgotten. But even as Seokjin gets tugged into another conversation and you get pulled into your own, your brain can’t help but replay the sound of his voice in your head, over and over. 
You’re still ridiculously endearing.
“Hey, Jungkook,” Jimin asks over a mouthful of complimentary bread with olive oil. “Did you ever figure out who knocked Y/N from the top spot in Kingdom?”
“No,” Jungkook cries out, suddenly thirsty for justice. “It makes me so mad that I don’t know who they are, especially since they’re getting all the in-game brand deals and Y/N gets nothing,” he says pointedly as he motions to you, clearly exasperated for a cause that wasn’t even his to begin with. 
“Jungkook, it’s not a big deal, it’s just a game,” you remind him, the table too wide to reach over and pat his hand comfortingly. “I still get a lot of things in second place.”
“What’s Jungkook talking about?” Seokjin asks, motioning to where Jungkook seems to be on a rampage as Jimin and Namjoon listen in. 
“Oh, Kingdom, like always,” you say fondly. “He’s determined to figure out the name of the person who dethroned me.”
“Is that so?” Seokjin asks with a laugh. “He’s got his work cut out for him. How many people play Kingdom?”
“Hundreds of thousands, probably,” you say. “Maybe millions.”
“Millions of people, and somehow we ended up with the second-best player in the game right at this table,” Seokjin says with a grin. “We should be honored.”
“It’s just a game,” you remind him, even though the sentiment is awfully sweet. “I think I much prefer the real world, don’t you?”
Seokjin smiles at you as the waiter comes around to offer him another cocktail. 
“Another one, sir?”
Seokjin looks down at the cocktail, then at your unstained clothes, and he shakes his head, laughing to himself. “No, I’m alright, thank you.” The waiter nods, taking his empty glass and moving onto another coworker. He looks at you, and his eyes are swimming in stars. “I think that I do, too.”
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Dinner ends with Hoseok and Jungkook gobbling down everybody’s leftovers, your boss paying the bill without even glancing at the check, and you laughing alongside Seokjin, who keeps your end of the table entertained with fantastic stories about his past job at a luxury department store and less-than-fantastic dad jokes that he prides himself for coming up with on the spot. 
Taehyung had nudged you when the entrees had come around, motioning to the vent above your head, but you hadn’t even noticed the cold. 
“Ugh,” Jimin says with a groan as the group of you head outside once everyone is finished, the chilly night air hitting your skin as you open the door. “I hate that we could only schedule this for a Wednesday, because it means we have to come into work again tomorrow.”
“When else are we supposed to schedule it for?” Yoongi asks with a frown. “Did you even look at the When2Meet? Nobody had any free time for the rest of the month.”
“Well, if everyone’s cleared their schedules just for this dinner, anyone want to keep the celebration going at my apartment? I just bought a box of wine from Trader Joe’s,” Jimin asks. 
“On a Wednesday?” Yoongi says, nose scrunched up in disapproval. 
“Yeah, when else would you drink boxed Trader Joe’s wine?” Jimin responds like it’s obvious. 
Everyone begins to either disperse back to their cars or get Jimin’s address so they can get wine drunk on a Wednesday like you’re supposed to, leaving you and Seokjin out of the crowd. 
“Are you heading over to Jimin’s?” He asks you as you begin to walk towards your cars, taking a step every five seconds as you watch Jimin tell everybody his exact address, loudly and slowly enough for any burglars and axe-wielding murderers within a three-mile radius to also hear him. 
“No, I think I’ll just head home for the night,” you say, checking the time on your phone. It’s nearly ten, already. Where did the time go?
“Ah, then I guess I will, too,” Seokjin says. “Oh, here’s my car.”
“You parked close,” you comment. 
“I thought that I’d be late because I arrived at 6:45, but I was the second one here,” Seokjin tells you, making you laugh. 
“Sounds like our office, doesn’t it?”
“I guess. We’ll have to do this again sometime just to see how late everyone shows up,” Seokjin says. 
“Promise I’ll be early next time,” you say. 
“Next time, then?” Seokjin asks, already opening his car door and beginning to step inside. You stand on the sidewalk in front of him, watching as he pulls the door shut and waves to you through the windshield. A next time sounds awfully nice. 
“Next time.”
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♚ THERE ♚
The King and Queen never do find out about your truancy, though you have to admit, you were never really worried about that in the first place. Not when J was grinning as he told you he had sent the messenger guard off, laughing as he dragged you through the forest, smiling as he twirled a buttercup between his fingers. He had done it before and he’ll do it again, and look where that’s gotten him. 
Maybe you could learn a thing or two from him. 
Still, despite your high ranks, the two of you can’t avoid your responsibilities forever. Eventually, you will always have to report back to the castle, get a new assignment, and start the cycle all over again. 
“At least they’re letting us go together,” J reasons as the two of you nod to the knights standing guard at the border of the kingdom, by the main forest that leads directly to a kingdom with whom your relationship isn’t all that strong. No wars have broken out between your two lands in years, but never has stability been one-hundred percent earned, which means that both kingdoms must be on high alert. You never know when a rebel group will attempt to invade the land. 
“Like I’d want to spend any more time with you,” you joke, giving J a nudge in the side as you stroll along the forest edge. In the middle of the day with the sun high above your heads, neither of you are particularly worried about being attacked. It would be foolish for an enemy group to do so, especially at a time when the kingdom’s guards are the most awake. 
“Am I really such awful company?” J asks, and he’s smiling but he asks in such a way, it’s almost as if he means it. The two of you have never been on the best of terms, but you’ve found yourself growing out of the competition-fueled rage you once always found yourself in whenever you were near him. No longer is regaining your first place your most important priority. Rather, it’s doing your job and doing it correctly, upholding the duties that the kingdom has entrusted you with, regardless of who’s by your side. 
(Though, even if you’d never admit it, J makes quite good company, most of the time.)
“No,” you insist, a hand reaching out to rub comfortingly at his forearm. “You aren’t.”
“You think so?” J says with a laugh, almost bitter. “I must say, you’ve never been that fond of me.”
“You may have charmed your way into the rest of the kingdom’s hearts, but I needed some convincing,” you remind him, reminiscent of how he would tease you constantly, dangle his promotion right above your head like a trophy you’d never be able to reach. 
“Did I do a good job, then?” J asks, hands in his pockets. It’s a quiet day, today. Even the birds have begun to murmur. 
“You did quite alright,” you say, nudging him. “Though I must say, I absolutely hate how all of the vendor’s daughters fawn all over you and give you free items like fruit, and jewelry. I’m never given that treatment.”
“You just don’t have my naturally charming, handsome, soft looks,” J says, posing in front of you as the two of you walk. The obnoxiousness of it all makes you almost want to chuck the apple you’re about to eat right at his face. 
“What do you mean? I can be charming,” you say with a pout. You pretend to flip your hair, just for emphasis. 
“You and I are different types of charming,” J says casually. “You’re strong. You speak loudly and clearly and you don’t ever flounder. You always know exactly what you want, and know the best way to get it. You aren’t afraid of anything, and are always willing to take on any challenge that comes your way. It’s… it’s different.”
And even if he thinks you never flounder, never stumble over your words or stutter, for once, you can’t think of anything to say. You’re walking along the forest’s edge with a knight you had convinced yourself that you would never befriend, and he’s just told you all of these wonderful things about yourself you never would have known he’d thought otherwise. 
J’s right. It is different. This is different. And you can hardly remember when it started to be like this. Only one day, it was just like this, and it never stopped. 
“Do you really think all of those things about me?” You ask, staring down at your boots as you walk along the dirt path, kicking small pebbles as you go. They go flying off into the grass, never to be seen again. But sometimes, you come across one you had kicked a few steps back, and you try again, earnestly hoping to see how far it will go with you by its side. 
“I mean, well…” J says, stumbling. “I don’t just think those things about you, you know? They’re facts, aren’t they? Those are things that, well, I suppose, everyone would think about you. Right?”
“You know what I think?” You ask, looking up at him. His dark hair shimmers in the light, like reflects of gold have been sprinkled amongst the ink black. “We are different types of charming. You’re charismatic and friendly, always willing to listen. You accept things graciously and are always grateful for what you receive. You pay people back whatever they’ve given you, even if it’s not the same item, even if it’s just the thought that counts. You always want to do better, and then you do. You work hard for each thing you get, and you never take it for granted.”
J grins down at you. “But you don’t actually think that, do you?”
“Nope,” you say, shaking your head. “Just facts.”
“Just facts,” he echoes. 
When did talking to him become so easy? When did it all start coming to you naturally?
“Did you ever hate me?” He asks you, curious. He knows, he must, that that’s not the case anymore. 
“No,” you admit, perhaps more to yourself than to him. “I think that I just hated that you were better than me. But… like you said, it’s different now. Now, I don’t care if you’re better than me. That sort of competition makes me a better soldier. You make me a better soldier.”
“Really?” J wonders, genuine. His eyes are wide in surprise, shocked at such a candid admission coming from you. To be honest, you’re surprised with yourself, as well. “I had no idea.”
“Keep it up, then. You know—”
A taut string let go. 
The wind stopping in its tracks. 
And an arrow headed right for your heart. 
“Oh my God!” You shout quickly, unable to do much except alert the man next to you that the two of you are in imminent danger. 
Before you can even blink, close your eyes and wait for the tip to pierce your heart, J is pushing you out of the way, sending you flying to the forest floor and he pulls his bow from his back, sending a steel arrow flying in the direction of the woods. You both wait there, only a second but it’s a second too long, until you hear a thud on the ground, a final breath, and then—
Silence. 
The moment you’re both positive the assailant is dead, J turns to you, eyes wide. “Y/N, are you alright?”
“I’m fine, I’m alright,” you assure him, telling him (and yourself) over and over as he pulls you up from the ground. Your heart is racing and you can’t quite seem to catch your breath, but you’re alive and so is he, and that’s all that matters. “Are you?”
“Yes,” he immediately says. “As long as you are.”
You look behind him to find an arrow stuck in a tree, but what alarms you more is the sight of blood on the tip. Immediately, you turn back to J, only to find the side of his arm covered in blood, bleeding right through his armor.
“Oh my God, J, you’re hurt,” you cry out, fumbling for something to stop the flow.
“I’m alright, Y/N, really,” he insists, placing a hand on top of your own, rubbing the back of it with his thumb for good measure. “It’s just a graze. I’ll be fine.”
“We have to take you back to the kingdom,” you push, already beginning to head back towards the gate. 
“I’ve suffered worse injuries, Y/N, seriously,” he tells you, hoping to ease the pit of worry in your stomach. “I’m a top-ranked knight who prefers the battlefield over anything else. I’ve broken bones, gotten stabbed, and nearly died. This? It’s nothing. Really. Please, don’t worry.”
“We still have to get you back to the Kingdom and patch you up,” you insist firmly. “Even if you say you’re alright.”
“Whatever you say, Miss Y/N.” J goes with you obligingly, lets you walk him back to the kingdom gates. 
You urge him into the local medical practitioner, sit him down on the bench and watch as the doctor bandages his wound, reminds him not to engage in any strenuous activity while it’s healing. He sits patiently, glaring at you slightly and rolling his eyes any time the doctor speaks, which is fairly frequently. It’s clear only one of you wants to be here right now, and it’s the one of you without a scratch on your body. 
When the doctor leaves to tend to another patient, you get up from where you’re seated and sit down next to him on the bench, resting your head on his shoulder. 
Working for the Kingdom makes you stronger. Sitting in the cafe makes you think. But being with him, standing by his side, it makes you wonder. It makes your heart race and your mind clear. It makes you feel safe. 
“I think you saved my life,” you whisper softly, clutching onto him like a lifeline, like if you let go, one of you will drown. 
But that’s not the case. Neither of you will let go. Not without the other. Never without the other. 
“Really?” He asks. He already knows the answer. 
“No, I know you did,” you tell him. Things are different now, but maybe they’ve always been like this. You just never noticed. “Because in a heartbeat, I would do the same for you.”
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♚ HERE ♚
“I have not seen Seokjin all day,” Jimin comments loudly one day, making everyone immediately turn to Seokjins’ desk, which looks practically untouched. His computer is asleep, his chair is pushed in, and his desktop is empty. The only thing that suggests that the man is even here in the first place is the messenger bag resting against the desk drawers, though it doesn’t look like it’s even been opened today. 
“Probably too busy avoiding you,” Yoongi deadpans, earning a “zing!” from Hoseok that makes you feel even more like you’re standing in the middle of a high school movie made by people who don’t know what high school is like. 
“Is he even in today?” 
“He is,” you pipe up. “His bag is here.”
“Of course you would know!” Taehyung teases, and he earns a highlighter to the face for his trouble. 
“He’s probably just trying to get his work done in a place that doesn’t consist of screaming and constant insults being hurled across the room,” Jimin says with a sigh, turning back to his work. It’s a fair statement, especially when the environment in your office is most often distracting, loud, and not at all an ideal work environment. It’s an absolute wonder that any of you manage to get your work done while you’re here. 
“Y/N, wanna go hunt him down?” Taehyung suggests, sending a wink your way as your eyes widen. 
“No, absolutely not, no way. I will not be tricked by you again,” you say, very reminiscent of the last time you went to go look for Seokjin and ended up with a coffee-stained shirt and a group of coworkers who thinks the two of you hooked up that one time. 
“If you say so…” Taehyung says, voice trailing off as he turns back to his work. 
But for once in your life, Seokjin’s absence is more noticeable than ever. He’s become a fixture in your everyday office life, always stopping by your desk with a second cup of low-grade office coffee for you (with a lid, of course), sending you emails complaining about Jimin and Hoseok when they’re being loud, asking you for help on every one of his difficult font decisions for logo designs, drafting emails to clients with you. It’s a sort of closeness that you never really had before—sure, you worked together and often got paired up for projects, but it’s different now. Like you jumped ship on being just colleagues but instead of drowning, you began to float.
Five more minutes pass and you pretty much resign yourself to getting back to your work, knowing that Seokjin’s probably just grabbed his laptop and found a place where he can work in peace and quiet without Hoseok’s shrill voice interrupting his thoughts. You’ll have to ask him what place he’s discovered. 
When there are four minutes left in the workweek and you are finally beginning to close out of the fifteen thousand tabs open on your Google Chrome window, the door busts open. 
It doesn’t actually bust open, so much as Seokjin comes flying through it and it slowly goes to rest on the padded door frame like it’s been designed to. His tie is loose around his neck like he’s been tugging on it all afternoon, his laptop is clenched carefully between his arm and his torso, and he’s got a flurry of papers freeballing it in a stack in his hands. 
“Oh my God, what tornado did you come from?” Jimin asks as Seokjin rushes over to his desk, cramming everything into his tiny messenger bag that definitely isn’t meant to fit a laptop and a stack of papers that thick. 
“Sehun just dumped an entire project on me that’s due on Sunday at noon with no warning, and now I have to pull together fragments of a crumbling magazine label before their final review on Sunday afternoon,” he says, terribly out of breath. He’s scrambling to gather his belongings, crashing into anything within a two-foot radius of him. 
“Dude, what the heck? I’m gonna tell Namjoon to kick Sehun’s ass,” Hoseok says with a frown, nose scrunched up. “Do you need help?”
“No, no, I’m alright, I can do it,” Seokjin insists, rubbing a hand through his hair as he leaves before the clock has even struck five. 
“Are you sure? You look like you want to jump out of the window,” Hoseok asks again, just for clarification. He’s not wrong. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Seokjin become so stressed in such a short period of time before. “At least let one of us help you get settled back into your apartment.”
To your right, Taehyung whispers into Jungkook’s ear, who then does this sort of weird hand movement to Hoseok, who nods understandingly. It looks suspiciously like they just plotted someone’s murder. 
“I can’t,” Jungkook says with an obnoxiously fake yawn, suddenly speaking much slower than usual, “I’m deadbeat tired.”
“Me neither,” Taehyung says, coughing in the way people do when they just want to get out of something. “I think I’m coming down with something.”
You whip your head around as everyone besides Yoongi comes up with an absolutely bullshit excuse not to accompany Seokjin to his apartment—Jimin says he has a date right after work and Hoseok says he needs to feed his puppy before he gets too hungry, leaving only you and a Yoongi that hasn’t been listening to the conversation whatsoever to vie for the spot. 
“Yoongi?” You ask, somewhat desperate not to be the one to accompany Seokjin to his apartment. You turn to your head to glare at Taehyung, who shamelessly coughs again when he meets your eyes, smiling guiltily. 
“Huh?” He asks, turning around. 
“Fine, you know what? I can come with,” you say with a sigh, already grabbing your belongings as Taehyung and Jungkook high-five next to you. 
“Oh, really? You’re a lifesaver, Y/N, you know that?” Seokjin says, and even when he’s stressed it’s like the weight has been lifted off of his shoulders once you volunteer, and you suppose that there are worse things that can happen than accompanying Seokjin to his apartment for ten minutes. 
Seokjin gives you the address of his place so that you can drive to it yourself, the both of you pulling into the parking garage underneath his apartment complex at the same time, waving to each other from adjacent parking spaces. 
“I really, really appreciate this, Y/N,” Seokjin says with a smile as he brings you into his apartment complex, nodding a friendly hello to the security officer in the lobby. “I know that it’s a Friday night and everything as well. You’d probably want to be doing something else.”
“Ah, yes, you know me, I frequent all of the clubs and bars in this city,” you say sarcastically as you walk into the elevator. Seokjin hits the button for the seventh floor and laughs. “Seriously, it’s not a big deal. It was a dick move of Sehun to drop this on you when it’s due in, like, thirty-six hours.”
“Tell me about it,” Seokjin says, exasperated as he leans back against the steel walls of the elevator. “I thought I would just get to go home this Friday night, pull up Netflix, and have a one-man movie night, but now I have to spend the next thirty-six hours doing this.”
“Well, you know all of us are just looking out for you, wanted to make sure you didn’t injure yourself from stress before you got back to your apartment,” you say as the elevator door dings. Seokjin leads you down the hallway to his door, sticking his key in and jiggling it until the door pops open. 
Admittedly, you have never been in Seokjin’s apartment, but you it was like you had already painted a picture of it in your head from his personality traits alone. You thought it would be fairly minimalistic, clean and neat, not too many flashy colors or kitschy items but things like photographs and magnets to make it feel like an office and more like a home. Pictured it as a sort of very simple, modern home, like the ones that celebrities live in because they can afford to keep their belongings clean all the time, because Seokjin looks exactly like a celebrity, gorgeous and put-together. 
Instead, Seokjin’s apartment is almost a hodgepodge of everything he could think to find to decorate, a stack of photobooks on his coffee table, slouchy leather couches wrinkled from wear, various kitchen supplies splayed all over his countertops. It’s the kind of place you can imagine him being in, existing in. You can see him standing behind his kitchen island with all of the ingredients and supplies for this wonderful dish he’s making littered across the counters. You can see him curled up on the couch, leaning against the corner of it to find that perfect spot, watching television. 
There’s a difference between owning a place, and living in it. Living in it makes it feels like a home, like it’s real, and not just for show. 
“Wow, your place is—”
“It’s really messy right now, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t expecting guests,” Seokjin says, letting his messenger bag plop down on the ground as he scrambles to make his living space nicer for you. 
“No, I was going to say it’s lovely,” you tell him. “It feels exactly like you.”
“Does it?” Seokjin asks genuinely, a soft smile lacing his features. “Well then, thank you.”
You wait around in his apartment awkwardly, not really sure if stepping past the front of his couch is socially acceptable since you’re just “visiting” and he hasn’t officially invited you inside yet. The main objective of accompanying him to his apartment has already been accomplished: you made sure he got home safely and that he can do his work in peace. Finished. But even still, you’re hanging around, wondering when he’s going to kick you out for being a weird, unknown fixture in his home. 
“Um, would you like to stay for dinner? I made soup last night and I have way too much for me to eat on my own,” he offers, opening up his fridge and taking out an enormous pot. It clinks as it hits his countertop, the metal sound echoing throughout his apartment. 
“No, I wouldn’t want to intrude,” you say, taking this as your cue to remove yourself from the situation before you do anything else to make an absolute fool of yourself. 
“I insist, please,” Seokjin says, stopping you in your tracks. “I may have a whole project to finish by Sunday, but we should at least spend this Friday night together, right?”
You look down at your shoes before looking up at him, meeting his eyes from where he stands behind his counter island. 
“Then I will,” you say, removing your flats and padding over to where he stands, coming to a stop on the other side of the counter island. “But only if you let me help you with the project, too. It was asshole-y of Sehun to dump it all on you. At least let me handle some of the graphic aspects.”
“Y/N,” Seokjin says, reaching his hand out over the counter, “you have a deal.”
This deal mainly consists of you eating some of Seokjin’s homemade soup on his couches, your laptops on his coffee table and that ridiculously thick stack of papers spread out amongst you. Seokjin already has a fair bit of information about the project at hand, but he still has absolutely zero progress since he received the assignment four minutes before the end of the workweek. 
“So, basically, what we have to do is re-organize the magazine’s overall design and aesthetic before their final review on Sunday, because if they don’t appeal to the publisher, they’re getting tanked,” Seokjin says, paging through the papers in search of a sketch. 
“So we’re their last hope,” you summarize. 
Seokjin nods. “We’re their last hope.”
“Great,” you say, not at all enthused. “No pressure at all.”
“I know. I’m so relaxed right now,” Seokjin says, clearly not relaxed. 
“You know what’s making me relaxed? This soup,” you say, finishing the last of what’s in your bowl. “It’s delicious. I didn’t know you cooked.”
“It’s just a hobby of mine,” Seokjin says with a shrug. “I picked it up when I moved to college and didn’t know how to make anything except toast.”
“You’re a very fast learner, then,” you say. “I’d pay you to make all of my meals, honestly.”
“Would you like more? I have a ton, so we can eat it all if you’d like,” he asks, already standing up and reaching his hand out for your bowl. 
You hand it over, shaking your head as he makes his way back to his little kitchen, ladling more soup into both of your bowls. “You’re too nice, Seokjin. Seriously. How am I supposed to pay back this kindness?”
Seokjin lets out a warm chuckle as he warms up your next serving in the microwave. “Believe me, Y/N, volunteering to take on this project with me with a due date in less than thirty-six hours is more than enough. You really don’t have to do this, you know.”
“No,” you tell him. “I want to. You deserve someone who’s willing to help you with big things like this. You shouldn’t have to deal with it all on your own.”
Seokjin grins as he returns, handing you your bowl of soup as you get back to work. “I don’t deserve you, Y/N.”
What was supposed to be a couple of hours spent grinding out a project over a shared pot of soup turns into a night’s worth of work, scribbles on paper and the redoing of the same logo fifteen different times on your computer’s much slower, less-updated version of Photoshop. The application crashes on three different occasions, causing you to nearly slam it into the wall, but you just try to look on the bright side. Find the silver lining. Of which there are none. 
Seokjin doesn’t seem to be faring any better than you are. You’ve never seen the man under such pressure before, not in the office and certainly not while you’re out of the office. He’s tugged on a crewneck sweater over his dress shirt and paces around his apartment in bright pink slippers, brainstorming aloud as you bounce ideas off of each other in a panic. 
“What if we rebranded them?” Seokjin suggests wildly. When you turn to look at the digital clock underneath his television, it says 11:17PM. You’re surprised he hasn’t collapsed underneath the pile of work he’s got on his plate. 
“What do you mean? Do we even have the authorization to rebrand them?” You ask, pulling up a new tab on magazine marketing techniques. 
“The project description says requests for anything that will keep them afloat,” Seokjin says. He immediately opens an old photobook, buried underneath your laptops, sketches, and papers, flipping through before he sits down right next to you on his slouchy leather couch. “What if we gave them more of a minimalist kind of style? They’re trying to jump off of this super quirky, very basic Urban Outfitters kind of aesthetic, but I think it makes the magazine too young, you know?” Seokjin suggests. “We could do something more grown-up, attract their market audience.”
“Are we allowed to do that?” You ask, thoroughly interested. Maybe Seokjin’s onto something. 
“Who says we can’t?” Seokjin responds, and it’s good enough for you to hop on board. 
Sitting in his apartment like this, brainstorming different ideas and collaborating on logo designs, magazine layout, and website design together, you are more productive than you’ve been in a very, very long time. Even as the night stretches on into the early hours of the morning, as you watch the clock turn from 1:00AM to 2:00AM to 3:00AM, the two of you are wide awake, the only things illuminating his apartment being a floor lamp by his television and the blue light of your laptop screens. 
“It’s…” Seokjin yawns when it’s nearly four in the morning, pen slipping from his fingers, “so late.”
“I know,” you say back, feeling your eyelids beginning to sink. “I’m surprised we’ve even stayed up this long.”
“Haven’t been up this late since college,” Seokjin says, smiling hazily at past memories. “Always had code to finish for my class the next morning.”
“At least we get to sleep in now,” you joke. Even if you still have to finish putting together a brand new image for this magazine that’s about to go under, tomorrow is still a Saturday. 
“Thank God,” Seokjin says, resting his head on the back of the couch cushion, letting his eyes flutter shut. “I feel like we did a lot tonight.”
“We were very productive,” you agree.
He yawns. “We work well together, don’t you think?”
“Hmm?” You ask, leaning over to move your computer from your lap to the coffee table, exchanging it for a sketchpad to keep brainstorming. 
“I think,” Seokjin begins, and it must be just the sleepy haze his brain has entered rather than anything else that could spur him to express this, that makes him say, “that you and I make a perfect pair.”
You sit up straight at this, looking over at Seokjin as the pencil in between your fingers falls onto the sketchpad before rolling onto the floor. It looks like he’s fallen asleep, exhaustion finally overcoming him as all of the work he’s done catches up to him. In the dead of night, the only sound in the room is his soft breathing, chest rising and falling slowly as his mind begins to wander. You watch him, eyelids heavy, and think that he couldn’t have possibly thought that. No way would he say such a thing to you if he was perfectly cognizant, wide awake. After all, you’re the one with a crush on him, not the other way around. 
You lean back, pondering why a man like Seokjin would ever invite you into his home, offer you soup, and shower you with subtle compliments that couldn’t just be friends being friends, and before you know it, your eyes fall shut. 
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It is nearly one in the afternoon by the time you wake up, the sunlight streaming in from the side of his apartment. It forces you to finally open your eyes, groaning as your blurry vision begins to clear. 
That is when you register these four things in this order:
This is Seokjin’s apartment.
This is Seokjin’s apartment, in which you worked on a project with him last night.
This is Seokjin’s apartment, and you fell asleep on his couch. 
This is Seokjin’s apartment, and he thinks that you’d make the perfect pair. 
You hear a clink from across the room, and turn to find Seokjin, still wearing the same thing he was wearing last night, standing in his kitchen, pouring two glasses of orange juice. 
“Morning,” Seokjin says. He pauses, then corrects himself. “Afternoon, actually.” He walks over to you, handing you a glass of orange juice as you rub your eyes, waking yourself up.
“How long have you been up?” You ask him, too tired to thank him out loud for the glass of orange juice. 
“About an hour,” he says, checking the time. “I didn’t want to wake you up. You looked so peaceful.”
“I feel awful, I didn’t mean to intrude on your apartment for, like, an entire night,” you say, rubbing your forehead as you try to smooth out your hair, make yourself look less like you fell asleep at four in the morning in your gorgeous crush’s apartment. 
“No, it’s alright, really,” Seokjin insists. “It was nice having company, for once. And I think we got a lot done.”
“I still feel bad, I didn’t mean to stay so long,” you say, looking around for your belongings as you try to gather your bearings. 
“It’s fine,” Seokjin reassures you, sitting down on the couch next to you as he begins to clean up the absolute mess of the coffee table. “But your phone has been ringing nonstop, so someone must have missed you.”
You fumble around for your phone before finding it having slid in between the couch cushions, pulling it up to see three missed calls from Taehyung and two missed calls from Jungkook, as well as a slew of texts from the both of them. 
“Oh, it’s just Taehyung and Jungkook,” you say with a shrug, deciding that now is not the time to bring them into the conversation. A quick scan of the texts gives you a rough summary of what you would have heard if you had answered their calls instead. 
Taehyung (9:35AM): Y/N Taehyung (9:35AM): HELLO Taehyung (9:35AM): ARE YOU ALIVE??? Taehyung (9:36AM): YOU NEVER SLEEP THIS LATE ARE YOU OKAY??? Taehyung (10:03AM): I WENT BY YOUR APARTMENT AND YOU DIDN’T ANSWER IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT Taehyung (10:04AM): TEXT ME 1 IF EVERYTHING IS OKAY AND 2 IF EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY Taehyung (10:05AM): LAST TIME I SAW YOU YOU WERE GOING HOME WITH SEOKJIN DID HE MURDER YOU??????? Taehyung (10:18AM): oh Taehyung (10:18AM): oh wait Taehyung (10:19AM): OHHHHHHHHH Taehyung (10:20AM): ;)
Jungkook (12:18PM): Kingdom just started a new event! Get online with me and let’s crush this thing pleaseeeee
“Just want me to play Kingdom with them,” you say, ignoring Taehyung’s text messages and pretending like they don’t exist.
“You really like that game, don’t you?” Seokjin asks. 
“Oh, they like it more than I do, really, I just try and keep the obsession to a minimum,” you say casually. 
“But they always talk about how good you are,” Seokjin adds. “You’re ranked second, aren’t you? That’s a big accomplishment.”
“Yeah, but it’s not that exciting. I mean, it’s just a game,” you shrug it off. 
“But you like it, which means that’s important,” Seokjin says. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of the things you like. They matter to you.”
“You think so?” You ask, smiling at him. 
“I know so. Tell me about Kingdom,” he urges, nudging your side. “Please? I’d love to know.”
And for once, you don’t just shrug it off and brand it as a game you play occasionally. You let yourself love that game, for all it’s done for you and your friends (even if you aren’t the best anymore) and your happiness, and you tell Seokjin about it. About how you started playing it when you were bored one day during work and saw a forum on it. How you got the rest of the office hooked on it as well, even if they were much more obnoxious about it than you are. How you go home after a long day of work and log on, letting yourself relax as you weave your way through the rankings and quests, finding solace in the familiarity of it all. You tell him why you love it, and why you probably won’t stop playing it for a long time, no matter what becomes of your ranking. 
“It was nice being ranked first, but I actually don’t mind whoever it is that’s taken over,” you tell Seokjin honestly. “Jungkook wants to hunt them down, but I think that, whoever they are, they deserve that spot. You know, I used to hate them because the top-ranked player gets all of the best rewards, but our characters have recently started to spend so much time together that I feel like they’d probably have fallen in love by now.” You chuckle to yourself. If life were a movie, everything would always work out perfectly.
“You do?” Seokjin asks, eyes wide. 
“Yeah, of course,” you say. “They spend so much time together. Who wouldn’t, right?”
“I suppose you’re right,” Seokjin says, smiling. “I also have something to tell you.”
You shake your head. “Don’t tell me you’re obsessed with anime, please. That is where I draw the line.”
“Don’t shame us,” Seokjin says, a hand on his heart like he’s been personally offended. Your eyes widen. “I’m kidding,” he says, laughing as you exhale, relieved. “I actually play Kingdom, too. I just wanted to ask you about it.”
“Seriously? All this time and you just pretended like you had no idea what it was?” you say in disbelief. He’s been hiding this from you for how long? God, the rest of your office is going to have a field day with this information. 
“I just wanted you to tell me about it,” Seokjin admits sheepishly. 
You shake your head. “You could have talked to me about other stuff, you know.”
“I know, but you never talked about Kingdom and I could always see how much you loved it. It was nice, listening to you tell me about it,” he says. 
“I’ve been betrayed,” you say dramatically, opening up your laptop to pull up the game. “What’s your ID? We can add each other.”
This is where Seokjin goes silent. “Actually, I think you might already know who I am. I’m above you in the rankings.”
Your mouth drops open. 
“You’re JK0901? Are you kidding me?” You ask, absolutely floored. All this time and you had no idea that Kim Seokjin was a Kingdom expert. “What does JK stand for? I was convinced it was Jungkook and he was just lying to my face, but in reality, it was you who was lying to me!”
Seokjin lets out a chuckle. “Jin Kim. I’m surprised you guys didn’t figure it out earlier.”
“I can’t believe this,” you say, practically speechless. “How long have you been playing?” 
“Not that long,” Seokjin shrugs. “I picked it up because I wanted to impress a girl I liked.”
“Really? All this effort for a girl you like?” You ask, still in disbelief. You suck up the way your heart is sinking at the thought of him liking another person, but then you remember that it wasn’t like you had ever made a move on him anyway. Smiling, you ask, “Will you at least humor me and tell me who it is?”
Then, Seokjin looks you dead in the eye, and says, “You.”
He doesn’t give you time to respond. Instead, he wraps a hand around your torso and pulls you into him, pressing his lips firmly on yours as you gasp into his mouth, body tensing up before you melt into his touch. 
It’s a quick kiss, nothing too crazy, but it overwhelms you nonetheless, leaves you gasping for air like you’ve been underwater this whole time and have finally surfaced. When you part, you look up into his eyes only to find that they’ve turned into crescents. He’s grinning down at you like he’s finally gotten it right. 
“You did all of that for me?” You ask. “How did you even know?”
Seokjin looks particularly guilty. “You’re not necessarily… that discreet, Y/N.”
You close your eyes, the heat already flaring in your cheeks. “Oh God, you knew?”
“It was fairly easy to figure out,” Seokjin admits. “But the good news is: I felt the same way. So, no harm done.”
“I’m so embarrassed,” you say, curling into his chest so you don’t have to look him in the eye. 
“You’re incredible, Y/N, you know that?” He asks, pulling you away from him just so he can get a better look at you. He’s standing in front of you, looking at you like this is what he’s been waiting for. Like all this time, he’s been waiting for you. “I’d do it all over again if it meant I could end up with you.”
“You would?” You ask, pulling him in for another kiss. There’s plenty more where those came from, but you’re already feeling greedy. Why wouldn’t you? If life was a movie, then wouldn’t this be the happy ending? 
“In a heartbeat.”
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hisunshiine · 4 years ago
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primal |kth|
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♡ 𝘵𝘢𝘦𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘹 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳 ♡ 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘳!𝘵𝘢𝘦 𝘹 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺!𝘰𝘤 ♡ 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵 ♡ 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 @shades_of_blue
“I saw you and him! You let him feed you.. Let him touch you..” His eyes, typically your favorite shade of deep mahogany were now black.
“Tae, I swear, it was innocent. If I had refused, they would have known.. I think they suspect so—”
Tae’s large hand tightened on your throat slightly, and you gasped, arching slightly.
“Kneel.”
-6 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘰-
You had just gotten hired by KimHit Entertainment, an up and coming company that had great talent of all kinds signed to them. They worked with multiple artists, rappers like RM and Agust D, singing dance duo J-Hope and Jimin (J2J), had content creators/artists like JayKay and Vante, and they were all managed by Kim Seokjin, one of the most famous vocalists in the world. He had decided to create a company to help others flourish once he felt like he had met all of his own goals.
While he still made music, he wanted to make sure to solidify himself as a top tier business man as well, like his father before him. He took over his dad’s small company and created a chaebol with his ability to spot talent and help it bloom. His brother had recently run the food services department for KimHit, but he had recently gotten married, so he was unable to do the tours for the next 2 quarters.
You had gone to culinary school with Seokjin’s older brother, which was how you found out about the company, and applied. Despite your love for music, your job however, had nothing to do with being “Talent”, unless you counted what you did in the kitchen.
“Carla, holy fuck, this is delicious!” Nayeon had just licked her finger clean from where she had dipped it into your batter for the dessert for the Talent. She went to double dip, and you swatted her hand away with the oven mitt you were holding.
“Yes, that’s why I was hired. But Gemini is coming down soon to eat, and they need to be fed before their performance tonight. A 2 hour set is no joke.” Nayeon nodded and backed away, hands up.
“Fine, fine.. I’m headed back to my station, but save me some please!” She smiled as she turned and headed to the door, her slim hips swaying as she disappeared through the swinging doors of the kitchen.
You finished plating the main dishes and began trekking them through the same swinging doors to set up for the meal. Each venue had a different style, but with tours, within the country, it was easier on you to maintain a routine. Traveling across the globe with bigger artists meant you had to go with them to each stadium or arena and cook with the kitchen they provided. Here in your home country, you could easily travel from home to work each day, prepare the meals, set up the spread, and relax. Others were hired to handle the clean up. You hustled back and forth, carrying out the now heavy metal serving dishes before the cast and crew arrived for their pre-show meal.
Panting slightly, you shook your head. How you were not losing weight at a faster rate was beyond you, but you liked that you maintained your curves despite the bustle of this job. Cooking protein rich and healthy fat filled foods helped you keep your more curvy figure. You were happy with your natural assets; you’d never had a problem filling out your outfits in all the right places, and direct or indirect compliments on your figure from the opposite sex had become the norm for you.
You watched the managers slowly file in, followed by the lighting crew, music techs, videographers and more, getting their food before running off to carry out various pre-show set up. They thanked you, happy with the upgraded meals they received ever since KimHit hired you.
“Hi.”
You jumped, not expecting the baritone voice to sound. Turning, you clutch your now racing heart as you take in a remarkable face—jawline that could slice the cake you had been placing, cheekbones that had to have been sculpted by Michaelangelo himself, and a toffee colored gaze that heated you to your core.
“You scared me!” you squeaked out, unable to maintain eye contact with him.
“Sorry,” his voice—as familiar as it was smooth—continued, “I just wanted to say that this smells… delicious.”
You shivered, sure that he was talking about more than the food. That he could smell the arousal mixed with fear as his predatory gaze continued to drink you in, tracing each curve slowly as if he could imagine what you would feel like if he stared long enough. Hard enough.
You attempted to breath slowly, knowing that predators enjoy the toying, and will chase when their prey panics and runs. You naturally responded to his movements, extending the chase when you whirled around and went back to what you were doing. You heard him take a sharp inhale, and inwardly smiled.
5, 4, 3, 2…
“Thanks,” you replied, barely giving him a glance as you straightened back up and made to walk past him. Pausing, you place your hand on his shoulder almost in a motherly way, though the way your voice had taken on a sultry tone suggested you were anything but.
“Let me know if there’s anything else you want to eat.”
As you walked into the kitchen, you heard him let out a low chuckle, and felt excitement bubble within you.
Kim Taehung, or Vante, was the famous photographer that KimHit managed, and would be helping out with catching still photo content for various artist’s within the company. Part of Seokjin’s philosophy was to have his talent work with each other, to build camaraderie across the different mediums as well as maintain wealth within the company.
It was well known within the entertainment world that Taehyung had an… eccentric taste. Once you started working at KimHit, you found out that it was not just within his art. He had been spotted by other coworkers frequenting Primal—a sex club for the elite to delve into their deepest desires. You and Nayeon had bonded over your love for Vante and his art, and she had shared this information.  
Another stylist had gone with him once, and shared quite eagerly with Nayeon and the other stylists that he was definitely a dominating type, that he enjoyed the pursuit of his partner, and was essentially, a predator.
You had done exactly the thing to drive him to begin the chase. You responded to him in a way that caught his attention, and then tried to quell your prey driven response and assert yourself as unaffected. If there was one thing that was going to make him pursue it was the dismissive way you treated his compliment paired with a very forward statement. He wanted to know more about you, wanted to push your limits, to conquer you.
Taehyung began his pursuit not long after that first encounter and you played along, as he aggressively flirted, took you out on dates, and then, like a chess match, called his checkmate. And you were his Queen.
The only problem was that you were under contract with KimHit to not become romantically involved with any of the Talent. Tae knew this, and was careful with his behaviors in public. He maintained his stoic disposition when in company of others, but once the cafe area was empty, he was dragging you away before you could lock up. Tae was all over you, mouth ravishing your body as his hands took possession of your body, laying claim to every curve, tracing the swell of your breasts, the roundness of your ass, squeezing your thighs tightly as he buried his cock deep within your walls.
-Earlier that day-
Gemini, the girl group who had been on tour previously was finished with their schedule, and you would be staying on for the next round of artists. This consisted of the prominent male artists, J2J opening for RM and Agust D, who had recently dropped a joint album. These sets of performances were different from your previous tour in that they would be holding performances at the same arena for the span of a month, allowing fans all over the country to have time to come see them before the month was up.
There was just one catch to the good news of being able to work for a month without traveling. Taehyung would be leaving for a month to work on his own art, paired with JayKay who would be the videographer for his project. Neither of you were happy about being separated, especially since he was friends with all of the men you would be cooking for, who knew nothing about the two of you dating.
He would never tell you that that was his reason, he had never said anything about his friends talking about you when they saw you in the KimHit office cafe working, when there were no Gemini schedules at the venues in town. Or, how they lusted over your body, your lovely features, your soft and gentle manner, over everything that was his . Every predator’s biggest fear is losing their territory.
It wasn’t that Tae didn’t have faith in you, it was that he understood how other predators were. You belonged to him in a different way now, he had already conquered you in a prey-like aspect. You were almost akin to pups, cubs, or other vulnerable babies of mammal species. You were his. Call you territory, call you a kitten or cub, you belonged to him. And anyone sniffing around what was his... well it didn’t sit well with him.
The night before he left, he marked you, trailing merlot colored bruises down your neck, across your collarbone, accompanying bite marks to your chest, scarlet handprints staining your skin on your backside, small fingerprint sized marks showing his lasting grip to your hips and thighs, if only he could be sure that he had left lasting marks to your heart.
He was in love with you, which scared him. He feared you leaving him while he was gone more than anything else. More than you not loving him back. He could deal with you not loving him as long as you didn’t leave .
While you slept in his arms that last night, after that particularly rigorous session, he held you, whispering his love into your hair in the dead of the night, silent prayers that you would still be his when he returned.
Taehyung enjoyed his time traveling around France for the month. With Jungkook as his companion and you being on the other end of the many FaceTime calls, it wasn’t so hard for Taehyung to get through the month. He felt his insecurities subside a little more  when he called you and you answered. He knew that you weren’t in danger of leaving him.
You on the other hand struggled with his absence. Your body craved his touch, and you spent evenings touching yourself in hopes that it would feel like him, but it never did. The new talent you were working with  didn’t make it any easier for you while missing Taehyung.
J-Hope, half of the dancing duo J2J,spent almost the entire month flirting with you, relentlessly. He was handsome, tall, lithe; his body, moved in ways you’d never seen before until he took the stage. You loved Taehyung and had no intentions of cheating on him.  However, you missed the up close and personal attention you’d become so accustomed to with Taehyung, and you enjoyed the attention from J-Hope—or Hobi, the name he asked you to call him.
He shamelessly flirted with you nonstop, to the point that you were fairly certain Tae would be highly upset if he were to witness it. But it appeared harmless to you since your heart and body were already taken by Taehyung, even if no one else knew it.
“Hey,” Hobi approached you while you were finishing up for the day, catching you right before you disappeared behind the swinging metal kitchen doors. “I had a question for you.”
“Sure, what’s up?” your hands were positioned on your hips as you turned, and you didn’t miss the way his gaze took its time traveling up before settling on your own.
“I wanted to have a small party tonight, to celebrate the end of the performances. I’ll text you the address, I would love for you to come.”
“Oh, I’ll have to see...” you replied, knowing that Taehyung and JayKay would be arriving back to town that evening.
“Please, Carla, I hope you can make it.” Hobi stepped closer, his hand reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “At the very least, can I pay you to make a cake for the celebration tonight?”
You found yourself nodding to that. That way you could still do something nice for a friend without upsetting Tae by spending his first night back home out with his friends and not with him.
“Of course, Hobi. Just text me the address. I’ll make you your favorite… my signature Devil’s Food Cake with Cream Cheese icing and strawberries.”
“You’re an actual angel, babe.” Hobi smiled his heart shaped smile, but the glint in his eye was as devilish as the cake you planned to make. “I can’t wait. The party is black and red attire… but please, come in all white.”
Texting Tae, you mentioned that you would be a little late to his place due to a last minute catering stop. You had started doing small catering services since you wouldn’t be traveling out of town this month, so it wasn’t unusual for you to tell Tae that you needed an hour or two in order to fulfill orders for your customers.  
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Before leaving for the party, you double checked the white body con dress you had put on. It had a heart shaped neckline with baby doll straps, and you had tied your hair into a chignon, slicked back to show off your decolletage. A simple necklace with a small camera charm hung from the chain rested almost into your cleavage, the tiny diamond in the lens catching the light from the bulb in the hallway.
Liking the reflection you saw, you carted off your finished cake to your SUV and made your way to the location on your map.
Turning onto a main road, you had thought that the party Hobi was hosting was at his own place, but as you pulled into a parking lot you couldn’t help but notice the bright red sign. Primal . The very club that allowed people to explore their sexual desires on the second floor while the dance floor allowed people to party on the first. You had always wanted to come here after you found out about Taehyung coming here, but as the top floor was invite only…
Once you had started dating Tae in secret, you had forgotten about this place, not needing to seek out a place to explore your fantasies when they happened in his bedroom now. Unloading the SUV, you carried the boxed cake towards the entrance, where the bouncer at the front signalled for you to enter.
“Hoseok said to be on the lookout for the angel in white with a cake.”
You laughed to yourself, warmth crossed your cheeks at the description.
“Just head to the desk, tell them you’re headed to room 7, the password for your party is ‘hope in hell’.”
Following the instructions he gave you, the attendant at the desk led you to the door of room 7, which was tucked in the back corner of the second floor. She opened the door, which allowed you to walk into the room, lit with red lights. Music was playing throughout the speakers on the walls, and you heard the chatter of the party goers as you ascended into the depths of Primal.
“Carla!” Hobi’s voice called over the hum of the party and you turned to take in his outfit, all black to match his hair. He waved you in his direction, and upon reaching him, you handed the box off and he placed the cake on the table beside him.
“Wow, this looks amazing!” he said as he unboxed it, eyes turning back to you as he licked his lips. “Purely… delectable.”
You couldn’t help the way your body reacted. Taking in how you responded to his words, he smirked as he watched you look away. Looking around the room now, you were able to take in the scene. You truly were the only person that was in white. You could see people gyrating on each other, talking closely in small groups, drinking their fair share of alcohol, and disappearing into other rooms with each other, carnal looks in their eyes. Hobi grabbed a strawberry and held it to your mouth. You opened when it touched your bottom lip, but he teased you, trailing it along your full bottom lip before pushing it slowly into your mouth. You bite, taking in the sweetness of the fruit.
Setting down the tuft of green left over, he grabbed a napkin, clearing his fingers of the red residue before grabbing another strawberry, which he handed to you.
“Feed me.”  
Unable to say no to his demand, you oblige. You had drawn an audience since you walked through the door; heated gazes on you, watching your every move, you couldn’t have said no to the host, and he knew it. Holding the strawberry up to him, his lips wrapped delicately around the plump fruit, teeth seamlessly slicing through it as some of the red liquid dripped down his chin. Your gaze follows the trail of it and you bite your lip.
“Thank you again, angel.” Hobi pulls your glance back to his eyes, stepping closer towards you for a hug.
“Thank you for inviting me Hobi, I can’t stay long, but I appreciate it.”
As he gathers you into a hug, you feel his hands drift down along your curves, hands holding your ass in a way that prevented you from moving away from him. His length, hard, pressed between your thighs and you felt his lips ghost over your neck.
“Do you have enough time for me to show you a good time?” he asked, and as much as you would have said yes if you were single, you had Taehyung possibly already waiting for you at your place.
“Sorry, I can’t tonight.” You pout, trying your best to be vague. No one knew about you and Tae, and you had to keep it that way.
“Not tonight? So when can I get you all alone?” This time, his teeth nipped at your skin, and you involuntarily shivered in his arms, moving closer into his grip.
“Um..” you tried hard to formulate words, his dominating persona calling to the submissive in you.
“𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁.”
Taehyung’s low voice practically growled as his hand gripped your neck possessively. Hobi released you, his eyes a mischievous smile as he took in the way your head turned in response to Tae’s voice, body moving towards him as if it was second nature.
“She’s mine, Hobi-hyung.”
The song was low, changing from one to another, and you felt the eyes of the other guests on the three of you. From your peripheral you could see that RM, Suga, and Jimin were watching, amused, while JayKay was standing off to the side of Tae, snickering.
“Ahhhh,” Hobi said, mind putting together all of the information over the past few months. The way that Taehyung had always grown quiet when they talked about asking you out until he would forcefully say that you were unavailable, that you had told him you weren’t single. The way you had turned down all the advances Hobi had made. The way that Taehyung seemed to almost be enraged when the crew would talk about your sumptuous body. His eyes met Jin’s, who shrugged and pretended not to see anything, walking away with a girl who had on a black lingerie set.
Tugging your hand, Tae led you towards a door and pulled you inside. It was dim, quiet, empty of passerby and onlookers.
Taehyung turned to face you, backing you towards the door you had just walked through. His arm reached over you, swinging the door shut so you were pressed against it.
“I’m gone for a month, Carla... and this is how you behave when Daddy is away?” His eyes don’t meet yours, instead they follow the path his finger makes as it trails down your cheek, slow and deliberate.
“I was trying to keep up appearances… I was about to leave, I promise.”
“Didn’t much look like you were trying to leave. Looked like you were allowing him to touch what was mine.”
“Tae, I promise—” your voice was frantic, worried he would leave you, but he cut you off.
“I saw you and him! You let him feed you.. Let him touch you..” His eyes, typically your favorite shade of deep mahogany were now black.
“Tae, I swear, it was innocent. If I had refused, they would have known.. I think they suspect so—”
Tae’s large hand tightened on your throat slightly, and you gasped, arching slightly.
“Kneel.”
Falling to your knees, your eyes meet the floor as you watch his slip on black Gucci loafers circle around you. You can hear his fingers meddle with his belt.
“You,” he paused, attempting to tame his anger, “are mine.”
His hand gripped your chignon, pulling your head in whatever direction he wanted as he continued speaking. You kept your body loose so that he could control your movements. Angling your head to look up at him, he took his other hand and used his fingers to pinch your cheeks and open your mouth.
“This mouth… is mine.”
His cock, standing at full length, entered your mouth roughly and you slackened your jaw to allow his girth to fill your hole. He face-fucked you, hips snapping as he plunged his cock into your throat. You hollow your cheeks, running your warm tongue along the bottom and grazing his frenulum. The flared tip caught on your lips as he pulled out, and you suckled the head how he liked as he held your face still with only the tip engulfed in the warmth of your mouth.
“Fuck, like that angel.” Taehyung expressed his enjoyment with low grunts and caresses to your face as you did your best to please him and apologize for what he witnessed.
“Ah, this mouth is sinful… aren’t you my little angel?” he asked, removing himself from your lips with a lewd popping sound. His hands moved to your chignon and he pulled out the pin holding it together, allowing your hair to fall.
“Yes,” you panted, short of breath, “I’m your angel.”
He nodded with a low hum, and brought you to stand. His mouth was harsh, rough as he kissed and bit your now swollen lips with his own. His grasp on your body was tight; you expected to see small fingertip bruises from his grip in the morning.
Pulling away, the trail of saliva from your mouth to his strained thin before snapping, and Tae was more turned on than ever watching the way you leaned forward chasing the kiss.
“You aren’t acting like my angel... You’re dressed like her, but you haven’t been behaving like her.”
As he moves through the room, you finally take in your surroundings. The room is mostly bare, no bed, but there is a small love seat on the wall to the left and a door in the wall straight ahead that had a sex swing attached to it. Your stomach flipped in excitement. Taehyung gave you a series of looks and, without words, you obeyed his commands. He had you naked and strapped into the swing in a matter of minutes, shedding his flowing black silk shirt.
“That’s better… the white dress made you look too pure for what I’m about to do to you.”
Running his cock along your folds, your slick coated the tip and he pushed himself into you without much prep. This was a part of your punishment, you knew, and the feeling of him so full inside of you had your body adjusting to him with more of your juices produced with every thrust he made. Your legs were propped up in the sex swing, held by straps that wrapped around your thighs, and you slid up along the door with the force of Taehyung’s hips.
“You’re mine, Carla. All mine.”
“Yes... Fuck, yes Tae, I’m yours.”
His teeth marked your neck, his large hands gripping your thighs and you could feel the throbbing of his dick as he continuously buried it inside of you. You moaned out, unable to stay quiet after a month of being deprived of him. His scent filled the surrounding area and enveloped you, and you couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t enough, you wanted more of him.
“Please Tae.. I need… I— I need m-more...”
He thrusts into you deeply, slapping your ass as he pushes against your cervix and you cry out, nails digging into his back. You’re sure that you’ve left small crescent moons along his shoulder blades. He circles his hips while remaining deep inside of you, and he growls in your ear.
“You feel so good, God, I missed you.”
“-m-missed you… too...”
“It’s so tight, baby. I’m gonna… fuck, I’m gonna fill you so good baby.”
“Please,” you beg, and he drops his hand down to press against your clit.
You felt it building fast, the pull in your abdomen and as your hips bucked to gain more friction against his hardened member, you squeezed around him, feeling every curve and vein along the shaft and he bit hard onto your shoulder, his hot cum filling you up.
Crying out, you’re so close, but Tae pulls out of you, eyes meeting yours. And you know he’s not going to allow you release at this moment. Punishment for your earlier behavior.
You almost whine at him, exhausted because all you want is to fall apart before you fall asleep wrapped in his arms. You make to say something to him, going against your submissive state to tell him that you want more, you want to finish, before his voice whispers a command.
“Clench.”
You follow his directive, using your walls to force his cum out of you and you smile sleepily as you hear his slight intake of breath as you feel him drip down your thigh. The pads of his fingers are gentle as he scooped it back up and tucked his release back inside of you, two fingers eliciting a quiet, slick sound as they enter your abused core.
“You can cum later tonight baby, after I get you home...”
You nod, glad that he was going to allow you an orgasm at some point tonight. He leans forward to kiss you, his tongue tangling lazily with yours as he releases you from the sex swing.
“.. If you earn it.”
RUNNER UP COVER THAT DIDN’T WIN BUT I LOVE IT TOO SO HERE IT IS
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atlafan · 5 years ago
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Take it Slow - Part Eighty-Seven
a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.
Warnings: Fluff and Smut.
Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)
You were thankful it was the weekend so you didn’t have to miss work because your fever did not break over night. Harry did have a photoshoot, but he called Mariah and she was able to cover for him. You told him over and over to just go and that you’d just be sleeping it off, but he wouldn’t allow it.
“It’s not like I have the flu, I’m not even throwing up.”
“But your forehead is hotter than shit, so I’m not leavin’. These people know Mariah, s’not a big deal.”
“But you won’t get paid for it, and-“
“Y/N.” He snaps. “M’takin’ care of yeh.”
“I don’t want you to get sick too.” You pout.
“I’ll be fine, I don’t really get sick.” He shrugs. “Now, I want you to drink your tea and relax. It’s rainin’ a bit today so you’re not even missin’ out on any nice weather.”
“M’so cold.” You shiver.
“Let me get some more blankets, hold on.”
He goes into the guest room and grabs the comforter. He throws it over you and helps you get cozier.
“Thank you, I’m sorry.”
“Babe.” He chuckles. “Don’t be sorry.” He strokes your head. “Alright, so you ate your toast so that’s good…got fresh tea…took some Tylenol…I’m gonna leave yeh be, do some work up in the loft. My phone’s with me, just text me or call if you need anything, okay?”
“Okay, thank you.”
He kisses your hairline and heads out of the bedroom. Buster sits up in the loft with Harry, although he won’t stop whining.
“Buster, I know mummy’s home and you wanna see her, but she doesn’t feel good.” He strokes the top of his head. “Isn’t daddy enough?” Buster yips and licks Harry’s hand. He chuckles and strokes him one more times. “Should we go check on her? Been and hour and she hasn’t called f’me.”
Harry and Buster go down the stairs and head to the bedroom. He opens the door slowly and sees you passed out, and curled up with your baby blankets snuggled to your face. Harry thinks it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen, and if you didn’t look so terrible he definitely would’ve taken your picture. He smiles and leaves the room.
“She’s just fine, Buster. Let’s take you out for a walky.”
When Harry gets back from taking Buster out, he hears things coming from the kitchen. He pushes the door open and crosses his arms when he sees you out of bed.
“What are you doin’?” You jump and turn to look at him.
“I got hungry.”
“Why didn’t you call me?” You shrug. “Y/N.” He sighs. “Let me make yeh lunch. If you had just waited you would have seen I was going to bring you some soup.”
“Stop treating me like a baby. I know how to take care of myself.” You pout. “I needed to get up and stretch anyways.” You grab the pot you were looking for and put it on the stove.
Harry sighs and walks over to you. Before you know it, you’re being scooped up, and carried off to your bedroom. You don’t even fight him, it felt nice to be snuggled a little. He sets you back down on the bed.
“I’ll make your soup.”
“Will you come cuddle after I eat? Need cuddles, Harry.”
He smiles and nods before leaving the room. He cracks open the can of sodium filled noodle soup he knew you were craving and pours it into the pot. After five minutes it’s just hot enough and he pours it into the bowl. Harry has Buster lay in his dog bed while he goes back into the bedroom.
“Here yeh go darlin’.” You take the soup from.
“Thank you.”
“I just need to finish some things up, and then I’ll come lay with you for a bit, okay?”
“Okay.”
After an hour, Harry finished up on the photos he was editing. He couldn’t just not work while he was home. You perk up when you see him come in again. He gets on the bed and crawls towards you. He wraps his arm around you and you snuggle into his chest.
“Needed cuddles, hm?”
“Mhm, it’s the best medicine.”
You were cute when you were sick, and he couldn’t stand it. He smiles as he rests his chin on your head. He swipes the back of his hand across your forehead.
“You’re still really warm, Y/N…”
“I know.”
“You eat all your soup?”
“Yup.”
He was trying to think of what else he could do for you. But when he feels you nestle in further to him, he knew he was doing exactly what you needed. You just wanted to be held and caressed by him. Your stomach started to feel weird though.
“Oh no.” You say to yourself. “Harry, I think I’m going to-“ You clasp your hand over your mouth and you practically jump off the bed.
You just make it to the toilet. All of the soup you had came up. Harry rushes in as you flush the toilet. Your hair was already up, so he didn’t need to hold it back for you. He grabs a rag and runs it under the cold water to press to your forehead. When he’s done you stand up and brush your teeth.
“Guess it’s a stomach bug, great.” You groan.
“Soup was probably too heavy on your stomach, I’ll stick to toast and tea.” He rubs your back and helps you back into bed. He drags a bucket over just in case you won’t be able to make it to the bathroom next time.
It seems like every hour you had to throw up. You threw up until nothing but bile was left. You had started crying because the heaving was killing your stomach. Harry hated seeing you like this, and so did Buster.
“Here, I ran down to the corner store and got you some Gatorade.” He says handing it to you, but you shake your head. “I know you don’t wanna keep pukin’, but this’ll give you some strength back, I promise.”
You take slow sips of the Gatorade as you sit on the bathroom floor. Harry sits down next to you and tries to soothe you.
“I never get sick like this. Colds here and there, but I don’t get this at all. I get a flu shot every year.”
“S’not the flu, it’s a little bug…” He looks over at the tub. “Hey, why don’t I run you a nice, hot bath, hm? I’ll put some bubbles in it too. You can just sit and relax. Would you like that?”
You nod and he gets up to turn the water in the tub on. You were able to keep the Gatorade down for now, but you weren’t going to hold your breath. You watch Harry put the bubble bath into the water. He helps you up and you get all your clothes off. You sigh when you sink into the warm water. He goes into the bedroom to grab his glasses and a book, and sits on the floor next to the tub, leaning back against it. Buster comes trotting in and lays next to Harry.
You reach a hand out to play with Harry’s hair and he moans softly, closing his eyes to enjoy it. You can your arm around him as he reads, and you feel your eyes get droopy. When he hears your soft snores he turns to look at you.
“Babe?” He nudges you.
“Mm…”
“Can’t have yeh fallin’ asleep in there, c’mon.”
He wraps a towel around you and lifts you out. He puts one of his t-shirts on you and gets you into bed. He grabs the thermometer and sticks it in your ear.
“Hm, temp’s finally goin’ down. Maybe you just needed to throw it all up.”
“Maybe. Now I just feel tired.”
“Throwin’ up all day can do that.” He strokes your cheek. “Want some more toast?”
“I never want to eat toast again.”
“I’ll get some crackers then. See if we can keep that down.”
//
You didn’t remember falling asleep, but you must have passed out after you took more NyQuil. You felt weak from throwing up all day yesterday, but all in all you were feeling better. You didn’t have a temperature anymore, but Harry still wouldn’t let you do much. At least he let you out of the bedroom today.
“I just wanna go out on the balcony, it’s so nice out.”
“Alright.” He follows you outside and you both sit down. Buster sits between the two of you.
“He’s gotten so big, I can’t believe it.” You sigh.
“Don’t think he’ll be gettin’ much bigger at least.”
“Any word on how Eliza May is doing?”
“Oh sure, she’s great, so is El. They’re all just tired.” He takes his phone out. “Lou sent along some pictures yesterday.” You take his phone from him and look through them.
“She’s so tiny!” You squeal. “So precious.” You hand his phone back to him.
“So, you’re really feelin’ better?”
“Mhm, much. I can’t thank you enough for being so good to me yesterday.” You reach your hand out to hold his. He happily takes it.
“Don’t need to thank me, it’s all just part of it.” He shrugs.
“Part of what?”
“This.” He gestures between the two of you. “Like, it’s just what you do when you love someone. You’d do the same for me.”
“In a heart beat, doll.” You squeeze his hand.
//
It was officially September. Sarah and Niall’s trip to Ireland went really well, and while he was out there, he asked her to move in with him. She of course said yes, and was so excited. Her and Rachel sobbed on each other for nostalgic purposes, it was an end to era. But Rachel could afford her apartment on her own, and she was sort of used to living by herself anyways. It was a really easy move. All Sarah needed to bring with her was clothes and some other small things.
Labor Day Weekend was rolling around and you all were trying to figure out what you wanted to do. Seth was having party at his apartment, and it would be nice to be outside instead of stuffed into someone’s apartment.
“You’d like his place, he has a pool and a small yard out back.” You explain. “It’ll be more chill than the fourth.”
“Alright, yeah, let’s go.” Harry says.
“Are you sure? We can find something else to do…”
“No, I think it’ll be fun. Besides, Niall, Mariah, and Isaac will all be there.” You smile at him and get ready for bed. You turn over and he taps your shoulder. “Excuse me?”
“Yes?”
You hadn’t had sex since you had gotten sick, just wanting to make sure you wouldn’t pass anything along to him. He looks at you with his bedroom eyes and it send a surge through you. You roll onto your back.
“Is the store still closed, or can I come in?” You burst our laughing and pull him onto you, opening your legs up.
He dips his head down and kisses you, sinking his teeth into your bottom lip.
“Mm, before we get started, you can’t leave any visible marks on me.”
“Why the fuck not?” Oh great, aggressive Harry.
“It’s one thing with our close friends, but…I don’t know…I don’t want Isaac seeing, or any random person that also might be there.”
“Or Seth.”
“Harry.” You roll your eyes, and he snatches your cheeks between his thumb and forefinger so you’ll look at him.
“You’ve been so good about not doin’ that.” He makes a tsk tsk noise.
“Doing what?”
He smirks at you and shakes his head.
“I’ll take my rings off, but hand’s goin’ right around that little throat of yours.” He sits up and takes his rings off, setting them down on the night table. Your heart was beating really fast. “That alright with you?”
“Do I have a choice?” You smirk.
“Course you do.” His features soften. “M’not gonna force you to let me choke you.” He chuckles.
“You’re doing a lot of talking, and not a whole lot of choking.”
His mouth falls open and you start giggling. He lifts your shirt off and kisses down your stomach, and down to your center. He looks up at you while he makes light licks up towards your clit. You grip the blankets, and then his tongue is plunging inside you. His thumb rubs circles on your clit, and one of your hands tugs at his hair. He groans against you, and your hips buck up towards him. He lets you grind against his face, not something he always lets you do since he likes being in control of your orgasm. He looks up at you and is elated. Your head was thrown back and you were biting your bottom lip, just going to town on his tongue.
You gasp when he pinches your clit, and then rubs it furiously.
“Oh my god, oh my god, fuck! Harry!” Music to his ears. You come all over his tongue and he laps it up.
He gives you a minute to catch your breath before spreading your legs back apart. He thrusts into you and you grab at his biceps to keep yourself steady. You don’t stay like that long though. He grabs your legs and throws them over his shoulders. Your back arches from feeling him so deep.
Not that you didn’t always enjoy sex with Harry, but you were really feeling it tonight. You wanted to feel more. You reach for one of his hands. He thinks you just want to lace your fingers together, but you pull his hand towards your throat. He drops one of your legs so he can lean in easier. He gets a really good grip on you and your eyes roll into the back of your head.
You were going to come again, any second really. He he was hitting your g-spot, and everything just felt amazing. He feels you tighten around him and you gasp as you release. He lets go of your throat to help you get some air. You reach up and grab his face to bring towards yours. You slot your mouth over his and his thrusts become quick and sloppy.
“Fuck, Harry.” You wrap your legs around his waist, and his come shoots inside you.
He collapses on top of you, and you hold him close to your chest. You kiss his hairline over and over and he whimpers as he pulls out.
“You could’ve stayed inside longer.” You say softly.
“I know, but I really need to wee.”
You laugh as he gets up and shuffles into the bathroom. You use it next and then you both get settled. He rolls over so you can spoon him, and you nestle in close to his back. He holds the hand that’s draped over his side and presses it to his stomach.
“Love you baby.” You coo.
“Love you too.”
//
The next day around 11AM, you, Harry, Niall, and Sarah all drive together to Seth’s. Rachel and Mariah would be meeting you there. It was hotter than a mother fucker out, so you knew you’d be swimming. You had a white tank top on with some jean shorts, a cute on piece on underneath.
Plenty of Seth’s friends were already there, and so was Isaac. They both smile when they see the group of you show up. Rachel and Mariah had already arrived as well. Seth comes over to greet you all.
“Hey!” He hugs you, maybe a little too long for Harry’s liking, but then lets you go. He shakes Harry’s hand.
“I made that taco dip you like so much.” You smile and take it from Harry.
“You’re the best! Wanna bring it inside for me? You can just stick it on the table. I’m trying to keep the food out of the sun.”
“Good idea.”
You and Sarah go into the apartment together to set all the food you brought down.
“Grab a chair guys, plenty of places to sit. Obviously not as big as my parent’s place, but it works. Feel free to jump in the pool too.” He smiles and walks away.
Harry and Niall find a place to sit. You and Sarah walk back out with drinks for all four of you. You kiss Harry’s cheek and then go to say hit to Rachel and Mariah.
“You look cute.” Rachel pats your bum and you giggle.
“Thanks! These shorts suit me, hm?”
“Yeah, they look comfy too.”
“They are! Got them through StitchFix believe it or not.”
Harry looks over to see Isaac and Seth sharing a wicker love-seat. Seth has his arm around Isaac’s shoulders. Everyone seems really chill. Rachel and Mariah pull up chairs so they can sit with you all, and you plop down in Harry’s lap. He wasn’t expecting it, but he was happy about it.
“I don’t know how you two can sit like that, it’s way too fucking hot.” Sarah laughs.
“Didn’t you know, we need to be touching at all times.” You say sarcastically and everyone laughs. You turn to look at him. “You’re not too hot like this are you? I’ll move-“
“Nope, wantcha right here.”
“Y/N, when does Nannie come into town?” Rachel asks.
“Oh! Not for a couple of weeks. Did you all want to come over for New Year’s dinner too? My family will be there of course, but I know with school starting it’s not easy for you guys to zip home.”
“Are you making brisket?” Sarah asks.
“What the fuck else would I make?” You chuckle. “Of course!”
“Then I’m there.”
“Will your mum make that dump cake?” Niall asks.
“Obviously.”
“Then I’m there too.”
“Yay!”
The only person that knew about the full plans of that weekend was Niall. Harry had even barely told Louis. He was desperately trying to keep everything under wraps.
//
After a few drinks, you were ready to go for a swim. You were sweating way too much for it to be comfortable anymore. You get off Harry and take your tank top off.
“Ow, ow!” Sarah says and you flip her off.
“Oh, shut up. Are you gonna swim with me?”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
You flip your hair over and throw it up into a bun, next you take your shorts off.
“I can’t remember the last time you wore a one-piece, it’s cute, but I’m surprised.” Rachel says.
The three of you walk over to the pool.
“I sort of needed to. I had marks on my hips, and I have a really fresh one right here.” You tap near your left ribs. “He listened to me last night, but attacked me this morning in the shower.” You sigh. “Oh well.”
They both giggle at you and you all step into the pool. You all sigh with relief. Isaac comes into the water with you all.
“Hey Isaac.” You say.
“Hi girls, mind if I join you?”
“Not at all!” Sarah says.
“It was just getting way too hot.”
“Agreed.” You say. “So, you looked real cozy with Seth.” You smirk.
“We’ve been very cozy.” He winks at you. “It’s only been a few weeks, but I really see this turning into something.” He says quietly. “He’s like a really good cook.”
“I know.” You and Sarah say at the same time, and both burst out laughing.
“Oh that’s right, you slept with him too.” He laughs.
“Only for a semester. Y/N got that D for an entire school year.”
You splash at her and look over to the boys to make sure they didn’t hear.
“Can you maybe not? He’s in a good mood, and I don’t need him getting all…dominant.”
“You do know how toxic that sounds right?” Sarah asks.
“Yeah, Y/N…since when are you afraid of Harry?” Rachel asks.
“I’m not afraid of him, I just don’t want to cause any unnecessary drama. No one needs to be reminded that I used to fuck our party host.”
“Why not, it’s fun to talk about.” Seth says as he sits at the edge of the pool. He pulls Isaac to stand between his legs, facing away from him. Isaac leans back to rest his forearms on Seth’s thighs. “Ohhh, that’s right, your boyfriend might get a little jealous, my bad.” He smirks.
“Leave Harry alone.” Isaac pouts up at Seth. “He means well, he’s a mooshball at heart.”
“It’s true…he’s very sensitive.” You look over at him again. He was laughing over something with Niall and Sarah. “So can we cool it with all that?”
Everyone agrees and shrugs it off. The conversation goes back to something lighter. Seth says something that makes everyone burst into laughter, especially you. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, and had tears streaming down your cheeks. It made everyone else laugh even harder.
“On that note, I’m gonna fire the grill up.” He stands up.
“Do you need help?” Isaac asks looking up at him. Seth crouches in front of him and shakes his head no. He kisses him quick on the lips, stands up, and walks towards the grill. Isaac turns back to you three. “God, he’s so hot.” You all giggle.
“So, how often does that happen?” You ask.
“Plenty often.” He smiles. “He’s a really good kisser. Never dated a guy with a lip piercing before, it’s cool.”
“Dated, so you’re dating?” Rachel asks with a smile.
“I guess so…I mean I’d say we’re seeing each other, right?”
“Oh for sure.” Sarah says. “I mean, he openly kissed you at his party. If that’s not a signal that he’s taken, I don’t know what is.”
Niall, Harry, and Mariah all come towards the pool and get in. You feel giddy when you see Harry sort of sweaty with his shirt off. You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him.
“It’s not your birthday anymore, so that’ll be enough of that.” Sarah says.
“Jesus, Seth can kiss Isaac, but I can’t kiss Harry?” You ask, letting go of him.
“Kiss? Yes. Tongue fuck? No.” She chuckles.
“My tongue wasn’t even leaving my mouth!” You laugh.
“I can vouch for her, it was a closed mouth kiss, Sarah. But I’d be happy to-“
“Nope!” She dives under the water and swims away. Niall follows her.
The rest of you laugh.
“Does she seriously have a problem with PDA? I don’t wanna make her uncomfortable?” Harry asks you.
“No, I just think that anytime she sees us go at it she remember that time you sucked on my neck so hard my skin popped when you let go and it freaked her out.”
“Ohhhhh.” He looks at Isaac. “So, you’re havin’ fun?”
“Mhm, lots.”
“He’s treatin’ yeh nice and all that?”
“Yes, Dad, he treats me real nice.”
“Oi, I’m just makin’ sure, don’t get your knickers twisted.”
“You know what I think the problem here is?” Mariah starts. “Isaac’s fullest attention used to be yours, and now it’s not and I think you’re a little jealous.” She smiles.
“Me?!”
“God, who else?”
“M’just lookin’ out for my friend.” He crosses his arms.
“But there’s nothing for you to look out for.” Isaac says. “Although, I haven’t minded the extra attention from you.”
“What do you mean there’s nothing to look out for?”
“I mean, he’s genuinely a really nice guy.”
“It’s true, Harry.” Rachel says. “I’ve known Seth a long time, and never have I ever seen him hurt someone he’s dated. If things didn’t work out, it was usually because of the other person, not him. God, Y/N, do you remember when he found out Mel cheated on him?”
“That was not good, not good at all. It was a miracle we got him to stop crying.”
“What stupid bitch would cheat on him? To give up a dick like that?”
Our jaw drops and you start laughing, so does Rachel.
“What are you admitting to, exactly?” You ask him, giggling.”
“Shut up.” He pouts. “Answer the question.”
“He wouldn’t have sex with her. It was our freshman year, and he hadn’t had sex in general, and she didn’t feel like being patient. She was a stupid bitch.” You explain.
“Did you beat her up?” Harry jokes.
“No, but I should have!”
“I would’ve paid money to see that. She knew better than to come around us again.” Rachel says.
Eventually you all get some food, and the day goes on. Harry notices various point of you and Seth chatting and laughing. He’s shocked when he’s not even a little bothered. For the first time in his entire life, he felt safe and secure.
Later on, Harry finds himself in the kitchen making some drinks when Seth walks in.
“Hey, man, having fun?” Seth asks him with a smile.
“Yeah, thanks again for havin’ us.” Harry smiles back. “Things seem to be going well with you and Isaac.”
“Yeah! He’s really great. Thanks again for being so cool about Y/N wanting to set us up.”
“I’ll be honest, I wasn’t super comfortable with it at first…given your history.” He rubs the back of his neck. “But you seem to make my friend happy, so…” He takes a sip of his drink. “And you do throw a pretty good party.” He smiles.
“Thanks.” He grabs a fresh bowl of chips to bring outside. “I do really like Isaac, I’m not going to do anything to hurt him. I just wanted you to hear that from me.”
“I appreciate that.”
//
Later that night, Seth gets a fire started. You had all changed into somewhat warmer clothes. You were sitting in Harry’s lap, feeding him a s’more. Some of the chocolate gets on his chin and you suck it off discretely. He feeds you one, and you both giggle, trying not to make a mess.
Harry was really proud of you. You stuck to drinking seltzer water all day. You made it look like an actual drink so no one would say anything to you. You had started to level out from your meds, and things were getting better for you mentally.
“Went on a drink run.” Sarah says, handing you a cup.
“Thanks.” You smile. You sip on it without thinking and cough it up when you taste the vodka.
“What’s wrong? You’ve been drinking vodka tonic’s all day…” She frowns.
“I…uh…” You get off of Harry, and walk towards the house. “I have to go to the bathroom, excuse me.” Sarah looks at Harry.
“She’s…not really able to drink alcohol right now, but she doesn’t really want everyone knowin’ why, and it’s not what you think.” He smirks. “So get that thought out of your mind right now.”
“Well, if she’s not pregnant, why wouldn’t she be drinking?”
“Does she need a reason? Can’t a person just decide not to drink?” He sighs. “I’m gonna make sure she’s alright.”
Harry goes into the house and finds you in the bathroom. He closes the door behind him.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I genuinely needed to pee. What did you say to her?”
“I just said you weren’t drinkin’.” He shrugs. “I assured her it wasn’t because you were pregnant, so don’t worry about that rumor getting’ started.”
“Thanks.” You smile. “I just don’t want them knowing…not yet anyways. I don’t want them looking at me any different.”
“I know baby, you’ll tell them when you’re ready.”
He wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head.
A couple of hours later, and you’re all ready to head out. You give Seth a hug goodbye and thank him for a great time. You and Harry sit in the backseat of Niall’s car while him and Sarah sit up front.
“That was a lot of fun.” Niall says. “Feel like I never left the pool.”
“It was definitely nice to have a place to cool off today. I’m glad we didn’t decide to just have a party at our place.” Sarah says.
“Our place.” You giggle. “Love that for you guys.” Sarah turns around to you and gives you a beaming smile.
When you get home you say goodnight to your friends. You couldn’t wait to see Buster. He had spent the day with your mom. He yips at the two of you when you walk in and you rub his belly.
“My good boy.” You coo.
Harry wraps his arms around your waist and spins you around.
“What are you doing?” You laugh.
“Nothin’, just love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
He sets you down and you look at him. You cup his face and pull him down to you. You kiss him and lace your hands through his hair. His hands slide your butt and he gives you a squeeze. You sink further into the kiss.
“Hey, um, how tired are you?”
“Not very, why?”
“What if…I went and took a shower?” He rubs the back of his neck.
No matter how many times you two did this, Harry was always bashful when he asked for it. You thought it was cute. You bite your bottom lip and look up at him. You pull him back in to kiss you, sticking your tongue in his mouth, making him groan against you.
“I think that’s a great idea.”
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recommendedbyrani · 4 years ago
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Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall
Summary: Luc O'Donnell is tangentially--and reluctantly--famous. His rock star parents split when he was young, and the father he's never met spent the next twenty years cruising in and out of rehab. Now that his dad's making a comeback, Luc's back in the public eye, and one compromising photo is enough to ruin everything.
To clean up his image, Luc has to find a nice, normal relationship...and Oliver Blackwood is as nice and normal as they come. He's a barrister, an ethical vegetarian, and he's never inspired a moment of scandal in his life. In other words: perfect boyfriend material. Unfortunately apart from being gay, single, and really, really in need of a date for a big event, Luc and Oliver have nothing in common. So they strike a deal to be publicity-friendly (fake) boyfriends until the dust has settled. Then they can go their separate ways and pretend it never happened.
But the thing about fake-dating is that it can feel a lot like real-dating. And that's when you get used to someone. Start falling for them. Don't ever want to let them go. (goodreads).
Thoughts: I know I'm late to the party and not saying anything revolutionary on this one since this book came out months ago and was widely well received, but this genuinely was one of my favorite reads of 2020. I will admit that it was at times a little difficult to be in Luc's point of view for the entire book as his low self esteem was sometimes a difficult headspace to be in constantly, but the author does a great job of balancing that darkness with Luc's hilarious wit. I really enjoyed the relationship between Luc and Oliver. They were good foils for each other and brought out the best in each other, with Oliver helping Luc to grow up and take charge of his own life while Luc helped Oliver relax and realize that he doesn't need to be perfect to be loved. I'm also a sucker for the fake relationship trope and the opposites attract trope, so combining them so flawlessly was always going to be thumbs up from me.
Meet Cute: The first time Oliver and Luc officially meet is recounted briefly by Luc in which we're told that they were at mutual friend's party and someone assumed they were a couple and Oliver was absolutely disgusted at the thought. We discover later that Luc's assessment of Oliver's disgust was not at all accurate.
Circumstances That Throw Them Together: After yet another tabloid scandal, Luc's boss tells him he has one more chance to clean up his act or he'll have to find a new job. A coworker suggests that dating someone nice and normal would do the trick, and thus Luc is set up on a date with Oliver by a mutual friend. The date swings between being a complete disaster to being almost good.
The waiter returned and, while I sat in sulky silence, Oliver placed our order. The whole experience was slightly strange, since I still hadn't figured out how demeaning I should be finding it. I definitely wouldn't have wanted it to happen regularly. But there was also some pathetic, lonely part of me that enjoyed being so publicly possessed. Especially by a man like Oliver Blackwood. It felt perilously close being worth something.
The entire first date is infused with a perfect amount of awkward tension and we're also treated to Luc's hysterical inner musings as he realizes that he hasn't figured out how to handle Oliver.
He was never going to call me Lucien again was he? He was going to respect my wishes like some kind of arsehole.
The Sizzle:  Luc admits from the very beginning that Oliver is attractive - not that he'd ever say it out loud.
Oliver was much as I remembered him: a cool, clean, modern-art piece of a man entitled 'Disapproval in Pinstripes'.
Luc had always thought Oliver was out of his league, but he comes to the conclusion that it's more true that he realized a little too late.
Fuck. I wanted to lick him.
Double fuck. I suddenly realized I could never ever take my clothes off in front of this man.
"What's the matter now?" asked Oliver. "And where can I put my shirt?"
"I…I…I'll find you a hanger." And some kind of, I don't know, beekeeping outfit for me. Something nicely covering.
The First Kiss: After realizing that their first date didn't go particularly well, Luc makes a desperate to keep Oliver interested, which Oliver immediately fends off. It's only when Luc explains his predicament that Oliver agrees to be his fake boyfriend. And although Luc got what he wanted, it's clear he would have been happy with slightly more.
In his zeal to get away, Oliver collided with one of the potted plants outside the restaurant, just about managing to grab it before it came crashing down. Which basically meant he'd spent more time voluntarily touching a ficus than he had me.
Conflict: There's not really one event that serves as the main conflict of the story, but more just an overall lack of communication and low self esteem on both sides. Luc doesn't think he deserves someone like Oliver and doesn't understand why Oliver would want to be with him, so he sabotages their relationship before it can go anywhere. What's funny is that's almost exactly the same reason that Oliver self sabotages.
Love Confession: Despite all obstacles, Luc and Oliver do eventually get their shit together and admit their feelings.
Happily Ever After: My one critique would be that I wish the book was longer or the ending was more fleshed out. There's multiple chapters before Luc and Oliver finally get together for real of just pure lack of communication. I don't mind this in the end because we do get the happy ending eventually, but the book essentially stops immediately after they're finally on the same page and we don't get to see any of what their relationship is like now that everything is out in the open. I would have loved an epilogue or a couple more chapters of relationship fluff, but that doesn't deter from the fact that the rest of the book is hilarious and adorable.
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