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rveyjules · 1 year ago

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A Second Chance

Part 1, Part 2

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Prime Minister's Daughter! Reader (ft. Ada Wong)

Genre: Smut, Romance, Angst

Warning: cheating, Leon is obsessed with the reader, taking photos, the reader is cold but deep inside she’s a sweetheart, mentions of arranged marriage, pure smut (masturbation, foreplay, kissing, breasts fondling and sucking, markings, p in v intercourse, virgin sex, penetrative sex, Leon is huge [I think it's at least 9 inches, sheesh], creampie, aftercare)

Word count: 6.2k

Summary: As the eldest daughter of the Prime Minister and one of the faces of the family, you received multiple assassination attempts. So, your father hired someone to keep an eye on you. And to your surprise, out of all people, it was Leon Kennedy your father picked for you. You and Leon had a secret relationship but soon did not last because another woman came into his life. Now that the both of you meet again, will it be the start of chaos or a continuation of romance?

author's note: This is the second part of my story. This story is entirely fictional. I do not know what the President and the Prime Minister exactly do for the country. Same with the occupation of being a prosecutor and the chief of the CIA. English is not my mother tongue so pardon if you encounter mistakes and grammatical errors. This is only for entertainment purposes only. And minors, please do your homework first.

—

“The jury found the defendant guilty.”

Joyful sounds were heard from your client, who was the victim, and from her family. You closed your eyes and a sigh of relief escaped your mouth, smiling at your performance today. You just won another trial. The suspect is proven guilty with the evidence you have against him and the jury was on your side.

“The jury is thanked and excused. The court is adjourned.”

You turned to your female client. She’s a 22-year-old who was a victim of rape and sexual assault. You promised her that you will do your best to give her the justice she was longing for after being made fun of by her schoolmates, calling her such names, giving her judgemental looks, and earning a lot of hurtful words.

It has come to the point where she almost took her own life on the rooftop of the apartment she was staying at. Being a victim of rape is traumatizing. It would take time before you recovered completely from what happened by going under rehabilitation and psychological observation. But today, justice is served.

“Thank you so much, prosecutor!” Her mom shakes my hand repeatedly. You can’t count how many times her family expressed their gratitude for helping the child. You giggled and patted the mother’s shoulder. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you hired me as your lawyer. By the way, how was your rehabilitation?” You asked the last part, looking at your client. She has a smile on her face, brighter than the times we met before the trial and you just realized how pretty the child is.

“It’s all nice and okay. Prosecutor,” She took a few steps ahead towards you and held your hand. “I don’t know how to express my feelings in court. Our opponent came from a prestigious family in the town. I am afraid that we will not win because of how powerful their family is. I think I underestimated you a little and I’m sorry for that. I see how focused you were in every trial session. And now that it was confirmed that he was the bad guy, I felt so happy. So, thank you so much, Prosecutor L/n.”

You smiled at her and cupped her cheeks. “You’re a law student, right? I want to give you some advice that can help you when you become an attorney one day,” I paused. “I considered going into law. Not because of money, but for the thrill of problem-solving. And always remember, be an independent woman. You are what you are. Face them with your head high. Justice is served and the suspect is proven guilty.”

The girl nodded and gave you a tight hug. “I hope we will meet again in the future, attorney.” You nodded your head and hugged her back. “I’m looking forward to it, dear.”

From a distance, Leon watched how you comforted a girl after winning a nerve-wracking and intense trial in the court just now. He crossed his arms and smiled, seeing you being warm around your client. Leon received a voicemail from his earpiece,

“Agent Kennedy, the Prime Minister, scheduled a meeting with Prosecutor L/n.”

“Copy,” He replied before approaching you.

The mother of your client acknowledged his presence as Leon made his way toward you. The older woman smiled at him before looking back at you and asked something unexpected…

“Is he your husband? You two look great together.”

Your eyes widened and immediately denied it. “No, we’re not. He’s not my husband. I’m still single.” You awkwardly replied. Leon was taken aback by the woman’s question and quite affected when you quickly denied the woman’s question. He felt butterflies in his stomach at the thought of you being his wife.

“Sorry for misunderstanding but he’s only my bodyguard. He’s only with me for safety purposes.” You explain, smiling to ease the uncomfortable feeling you have. The woman nodded in understanding.

“You’re too pretty to not be in a relationship but I respect your decision if you’re not into relationships.” She smiled and you thanked her for understanding. When your client and her family have left, you turn to Leon and shoot him a death glare.

“Seriously? You as my husband? Hell, no.” You sharply claimed. Leon cleared his throat and replied, “I just want to say that the Prime Minister scheduled a meeting with you.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“When you received a voicemail, I received a text message from the Prime Minister. At least you should have waited for my client to leave before popping out of nowhere only to be misunderstood as my husband.” You snarled. Leon finds you cute, though.

“Bet you feel the butterflies in your stomach, don’t you?” He asked flirtatiously, making you scoff.

“Butterflies,” You scoffed and chuckled sarcastically. “I got headaches.” With that, you walked past him to the exit.

—

“Papa, you know I don’t want to be in a relationship. How many times do I need to tell you that? I don’t even want to go on a date, why are they trying to put me up in an arranged marriage?!” You snapped, rubbing your temples.

The meeting your father scheduled is private and personal. Right now, in front of your parents and the Senator’s son that was supposed to be your husband in this arranged marriage, looked at you in disbelief. You declared your plan in life and that is you’re not going to get married to anyone.

“Y/n!” Your father yelled angrily. “For our family’s sake! Senator Carter’s son is the right man for you! You know that this man has the potential to become a President in the future! I want you to become the First Lady of this country.”

“But being a First Lady has limitations, Papa! And also, it will only give me more responsibilities!” You retorted back.

“You’re already thirty-three, Y/n. A perfect age to prepare yourself—”

“I am not interested in becoming a First Lady,” You interrupted. "Besides, I am not into politicians. Helping the government is enough for me but marrying a politician? No."

With that, you grabbed your bag and walked out of the room, leaving your parents disappointed and frustrated. You can hear your dad calling out your name but you did not turn back. Tears filled your eyes, and you couldn't bear the fact that your parents are forcing you to marry someone you don't love.

Leon noticed your expression and he knew something was wrong. "Y/n, what happened in–" He was interrupted when you snapped at him, “Shut up! This is all your fault!”

He was startled and the guards that were securing the area looked in your direction. Tears started falling down your eyes, and couldn't bear the pain. “This is all your fault.” You whispered before storming out of the establishment.

You get the keys from your driver and ride the car before driving on your own. You sobbed as you sped up on the highway but were still aware of the speed limit. You want some time alone. Betrayals, family pressure, arranged marriage… Goddamned it, why can’t you be free from this? The trauma of your past relationship with Leon did a lot of damage. You run your hand on top of your head, calming yourself down.

—

In your house, you are checking the report of the CIA. There are files that must go under your consent so you have a lot of papers to sign. It’s not new for you anymore. Being a prosecutor, a superior of a top security agency, as well as being a politician’s daughter has its pros and cons. When it comes to wealth and fame, you got the jackpot. But when it comes to responsibility…

“Goddamn, I need a vacation.” You sighed as you signed the last file and put them organized on the shelf.

And then, Leon popped into your mind out of nowhere. He has been working under you for three months now. You are secretly doing everything to make him leave. You mean it when you say you don’t need him anymore. But there are times where Leon would be so caring of you. He’d hold your hand secretly when the two of you are close to each other in crowded places. He’d take off his jacket and put it on your shoulders when he saw you shivering. Although you are cold and dismissive to him, he’s still caring for you and his love language was still the same as before.

Turning your heel, you went to the window and watched the city lights of Washington D.C. You want to take a break. You want to sleep all day,knowing that you deserved it for doing a great job. But you simply can’t. Even falling asleep in your room is sometimes difficult, especially when you feel something is not right. The President needs you to be active 24/7. The White House could call you anytime when an emergency occurs. Even if it was two in the morning, you need to get up and meet the President and cabinet secretaries.

You are so powerful that’s why there are people who tried to kill you. Imagine, surviving five assassination attempts. You may be looking cool but deep inside you are scared. Those moments where you were stunned when the assassin pulled the trigger of his gun and you barely dodge them. It makes you feel like a child, being scared when you are supposed to be brave.

Taking off your gloves, you looked at your scars and caressed them. You thought the pain was gone, thinking that your scars symbolizes your bravery despite being left out. But everythings is coming back ever since Leon came back. With that you remembered how you struggled just to survive.

Three days after Leon left with Ada, you almost lost your sanity thinking that surviving the apocalypse is impossible. You have no one to lean on. You barely make it to find an abandoned store with foods and drinks that can ease your thirst and hunger. The city was filled with zombies. Finding a safe place to stay is difficult. The device you used to track Ada’s identity was broken. It was your only hope to contact your father.

Every day, you’d cry while washing your wounds on your wrists to prevent contamination and easier access for infection. Being alone and desperate to survive scared you the most. You are asking yourself what you ever did to them to leave you in this state. As for your relationship with Leon, thinking about those times when you caught him with Ada, doing the unthinkable emotionally damaged you.

“Leon– ahh!” Ada moaned as Leon pressed his half naked body to her, sucking her neck and leaving marks on her skin. “Y/n would get suspicious where did I get this,” Ada said but Leon didn’t budge.

Instead, he lifted the skirt of her dress and pulled her underwear out of her legs before undoing his pants and taking his member out of its cage. “Just be quiet. She wouldn’t know that we’re doing this.” He smirked before slipping his hardened cock into Ada’s aching hole.

They tried to be quiet to hide their secret affair while you were standing by the door, sobbing quietly. You heard how Ada moaned and praised Leon at how good he makes her feel. And then there was you, heart shattered into pieces. You felt numb and couldn’t feel or hear anything aside from the sinful sounds coming from them.

That piece of memory made you punch the mirror in front of you, breaking it. Your knuckles started to bleed. You covered your ears as you fell on your knees, traumatized and heartbroken. You knew that things would go wrong between you and Leon. But this is beyond your expectation. Never in your life you thought that he would do that.

One day, you found a radio in the establishment where you are currently staying. It was functioning and you heard voices coming from the radio. You realized that it can connect to a military base. You grabbed it and spoke to the speaker. It says that the government will bomb the city to stop the virus from spreading. Hearing this increased your fear. You don’t want to die with these monsters.

“Is this the military? Please, help me. I’m a survivor.” You said, hoping that they will hear your voice.

After a few seconds of silence, the voice on the other line spoke. “This is Commander Valdez speaking. Please, state your name and current location.” Your hope was growing as the commander replied.

“My name is Y/n L/n, daughter of Senator L/n. I’m a first year college student, studying Law. I am in a safe room of the high-rise hospital in Raccoon City. Please, help me. Zombies are surrounding the area.” You sobbed.

Hearing that you are the daughter of the Senate President caused the Commander to order to gather up his men and prepare to rescue you and also ordered the President to refrain from releasing an order to wipe out Raccoon City until you are completely rescued.

“Miss L/n, listen carefully to my instructions. My men will be there in less than an hour. Now, I want you to prepare yourself to fight against the horde of zombies. The President has moved the time of releasing the bomb. They will nuke the city after we rescue you. I know you have limited resources to use as your weapon but I hope you can find some to defend yourself.”

“Yes, sir.”

“The military is on its way. Go to the rooftop of the hospital. The military chopper will come to rescue you. Goodluck.” Then your conversation ended.

This is your last chance. You must make it out of this damned city. You went to the bathroom of the safe room and looked at yourself through the mirror. You washed your face to make up your mind and covered your injuries with a clean cloth. You wear your jacket and luckily found a baseball bat as your weapon. With a deep breath, you gathered all your strength and prepared yourself for a life-or-death fight against those monsters.

You walked out of the safe room quietly to prevent attracting the attention of the zombies. You held your weapon tightly, alert for any zombies to come to your way. You are currently on the 20th floor of the hospital. The rooftop is on the 25th floor. Of course, as you expected, zombies found you and chased after you. You run for your life, hitting those zombies who will try to grab you or block your path with a baseball bat.

Anger was rushing through your veins that you went on a killing spree with a single weapon. You looked out the window as you ran and found the helicopter coming to the hospital you are in. This increased your hopes in survival. Little by little, you made it to the rooftop. You closed and blocked the door with anything that you think can prevent those zombies opening the door.

The helicopter has found you from a far distance. You waved your hands in the air as you jumped to gain their attention. But the zombies managed to break in and it found you. You turned around and fear creeped out to your veins. A large horde of zombies are coming towards you. Then, you heard loud gunshots coming from the soldiers, shooting the zombies as the helicopter moved downwards on the edge of the rooftop.

“Miss Y/n! Hop on!” A soldier yelled through the loud sound of the propeller.

You ran towards them and jumped to the helicopter, feeling a little relieved to be rescued. The helicopter started to move away as the zombies were falling down from the building, mindlessly trying to reach for us. The soldiers check on you to see if you are bitten. The pilot spoke through the radio.

“General, Y/n L/n is successfully rescued from the Raccoon City. She’s not bitten or infected, just some injuries that need medical attention. Aside from that, everything is cleared.”

“Roger that,” You heard the military general replied through the radio.

After a few moments, when you are far enough from the city, you hear a loud, roaring, and huge explosion. You looked out and saw an atomic bomb explosion, destroying Raccoon City. You saw how wide the bomb reached to kill those who were alive or undead. You survived the chaos on your own. You make it out of the forsaken city. You are the last man standing. The city where Leon promised you that you build your dreams and goals has been wiped out into ashes.

A sigh escapes your mouth as you caress your scars. For everyone who barely knows you, wearing gloves is your trademark in fashion. People never see you take them off or go out without gloves on. But your family and other important people in your life know what’s behind that piece of clothing. It’s not like you were ashamed of it. It’s just that it hurts you emotionally as you remembered that you went under hard and difficult circumstances just to survive as those people you helped betrayed and left you to die.

Your phone opened and rang, snapping you back to your senses. You turned around and grabbed your phone. It’s a call from your older brother, Judge Dylan L/n. You picked up the call and put the phone next to your ear.

“Dylan? What can I do for you?” You asked.

“Y/n, Papa called me just now. What was that behavior?” He asked calmly but there’s a lingering strict tone.

“If you’ll scold me, I’ll hang up.” You scoffed.

“Y/n, you are the only daughter of the Prime Minister of the country and has the potential to become a First Lady.”

“I know that. Among the Prime Minister’s five children, I am the youngest and the only daughter. But that doesn’t mean that I need to go under his order to marry a politician.”

“But the boy is the son of the Senate President.”

“Dylan, please. Don’t make yourself a problem for me. He didn’t even congratulate me for winning my case today. He just called a private meeting only to say that I am bound to marry the man and ended up scolding.”

“Patience is a virtue, Y/n,” Dylan paused. “I know that your past relationship still affects you. But in this case, you are just proving to them that you haven’t moved on from your ex-lover. Y/n, it’s been fifteen years…”

You sighed, heading over the table to pour yourself a glass of wine.

“Please, believe me when I say that I truly moved on from my past relationship. It’s just that…” You paused, trying to find the right word to say. “The pain was coming back. You know that feeling when you believe in yourself that you are completely free but the truth is you are still chained up to the past?”

“Did you and that guy cross paths again?” He asked and you hummed.

“I don’t know if fate is fooling around with me. After fifteen years, why did he come back? I mean, I don’t want to see him or even cross paths again with him but then, one day he just appeared out of nowhere.” You explained. Your brother chuckled at your response.

“I think I know the guy you are talking about. Leon Kennedy, right? Your ex-lover but currently your bodyguard.” You pouted as his response. “If Papa knows that Leon Kennedy is your ex, what do you think he will do?” He asked.

“He will fire him immediately, probably.” You replied.

“Wrong,” Dylan quickly responded. “You and Papa never interact with each other that much, that's why you don’t know the possibility of his reaction regarding the issue.”

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“Y/n, please. If you interact with Papa, you will find the answer. That’s all for now. I have to prepare for my trial tomorrow. I just called to check on you.”

You bid goodbye to each other before ending the call. You received another phone call from the Senate President’s son. You picked the call…

“Let’s have a drink. The usual place.” He said.

—

Leon can still hear how loud you were when you snapped at him earlier. He can tell that your meeting with your family did not end well. The way your eyes teared up when you yelled at him, gaining the attention of the people who were in the area at that time. Leon gulped down another glass of whiskey, slightly wincing at how strong the alcohol is as he ran his thumb against your photo, which he secretly took throughout the years.

Yes, he has been stalking you. After saving Ashley Graham from an insane cult in Spain, he immediately did some research on you. And there he found out about your success after leaving you in a hard situation in Raccoon City in 1998. At that time, you were a newly licensed prosecutor but you became one of the most influential prosecutors in the Supreme Court as you easily solved and won cases back then. Your father was a Senate President back then and having you beside him is a big asset. With that, your father managed to reach the position of Prime Minister.

Every event you need to attend whether it was a national or international, he was there. He camouflaged within the crowd so that you wouldn’t see him or feel his presence. He took a lot of pictures of you, keeping them in a secret room of his house. He was obsessed with you. He even finds himself masturbating in his room with your picture in his hand, looking so elegant in every angle, every outfit you wore, every look you pulled out, it drives him crazy.

For his latest mission, which was in China, he brought a dozen of your pictures as his motivation and inspiration. Weird but he did. There are times when he was in a tight situation and went through near-death experiences but he remembers that he needs to come back. For you. He encountered Ada again but this time, he was not her puppy anymore, who would follow her demands and manipulate him.

“I heard that she’s the new Chief of the CIA aside from being a prosecutor. Seems like your ex-lover has already moved on from you.” Ada smirked as she looked at the photo of you in a black dress, holding a piece of paper while speaking in court.

“Give it back,” Leon demanded. “What are you even doing here, Ada? Are you going to use me again?” He added and Ada chuckled in response. “What do you think?”

What Ada did not expect was Leon’s sudden attack. He disarmed her and took the photo out of her grasp, hissing when it was crumpled slightly. Ada noticed his unusual behavior and smirked.

“You’re obsessed with her. What is she going to think when you two meet again? What will be her reaction if she meets the one she loved the most but also the one who betrayed her?” Ada asked, trying to provoke Leon.

Leon got furious when Ada dug up the past. Without hesitation, he pulled out his gun and shot Ada in the shoulder with eyes full of anger and guilt, not for her but for you, who he left just to escape that damn city. The woman looked at him in shock. Never in a million years did she expect that Leon would do this to her. He was different from the one she used to order around. There were also times when Leon almost got down on his knees and worshiped her like a saint. But now, his eyes are filled with the flame of anger. Leon wasn’t hers anymore, but yours even without knowing it.

Five months after that mission, he was summoned to the White House by the President and they talked about the assassination attempts you had. His face remained calm but his hands were clenched into fists and his insides were burning in anger. When the President asked him if he could be your bodyguard, he immediately said yes. Your father, the Prime Minister trusted him the moment the President introduced him as a recommendation. That’s how he got into your life again.

He prepared a plan on how he was going to win your heart again. He thought it would be easy but it turns out it isn’t. You are colder than he expected. You never look at him the way you used to look at him before. It wasn’t easy to make a conversation with you as you always dismissed him. His top priority is to keep you safe away from assassination attempts you might encounter again in the future while finding a way to see a crack in your armor.

He believes that you will give in to him someday. He laid down on his bed, closing his eyes, and imagine how good it feels to be between your legs as he fucks you hard. The way you’d moan loudly or even scream, praising him for making you feel so good. You’d hold onto his shoulders as he pounds against your cunt, tip kissing your cervix that sends you crying.

His mind was filled with lewd images of you, wearing tight blouses and pencil skirts, teasing him as you walked. Your curves are perfectly fitted into the skirt and he will pounce on you and rip all of your clothing until you are completely naked under him. You and Leon never made it to take your relationship to the next level because you were just eighteen and in your first year in college back then. You two agreed that you’ll only do it when you are ready or wait until you get married. Although your relationship was a secret, you both gave pure love to each other until shit happens.

He believes that your virginity hasn’t been taken yet. For someone like you who focuses on studies and two professions as well as having trust issues, he’s sure that no one hasn’t touched or even kissed you. And the thought of taking your virginity sends him to the edge as he found himself masturbating.

“Y/n… you feel so damn good. So tight!” He moaned, imagining how tight you are when he pushed his pulsating cock inside your wet, aching, virgin pussy.

Your moans ring into his ears as he fucks you. The way you’d ask him to be gentle or be careful of you, sobbing. And the best part of it is when he spilled his warm seeds deep into your cunt. In real life, his cock spurted his juices, staining his hands and abdomen as he trembled from his orgasm, groaning as he let it out until the last drop.

No, he did not feel guilty. Why not? He’s going to take you back. Now that he heard from his co-worker that you are bound to marry the Senate President’s son. No, he wouldn’t let that happen. Not even over his dead body. If he needs to go through hell just to win your heart again, he will do it without any hesitation.

—

On the other side, you are back in the VIP Room of the bar where you usually go. You are currently with the Senate President’s son. There’s an awkward tension between the two of you. David Carter is sipping on his glass of vodka while you are drinking wine.

“Your outburst earlier is unexpected,” He chuckled, studying your expression. You glanced at him as he started the conversation. “A lot of women tried to catch my attention but then there was you.”

“Is that a compliment?” You asked, sipping on your wine and he nodded with a hum in response.

David might be quiet and did not have a chance to explain himself during your meeting yesterday but he is one of the most respected and most influential men in politics just like you. He’s a congressman with the potential to reach the highest rank in the country. That’s why your father wants him to be your husband.

“Yes. I rarely compliment a woman. You know I have a high standard when it comes to women and you passed.”

“Because this is me.” You rebutted, rolling your eyes, and smirked.

You two are good friends. You went to the same law school and passed the board exams together. When you were elected as the new Chief of the CIA, he was elected as a congressman. Coincidence? He would say no but you would say yes. David understands why you suddenly snapped at your father upon mentioning the arranged marriage. He knows that you have a trauma in love although he doesn’t know who caused you that pain to be so dismissive of love. But deep down, he wished that you would realize that he has hidden feelings towards you.

“I noticed that you are not with your personal bodyguard today. Leon Kennedy, right?” He asked, causing you to scoff and roll your eyes again.

“I don’t know. I don’t care though. That guy needs to breathe from my dark presence.” You joked.

“I’m surprised that he’s not resigning yet when you are so cold and dismissive to him. In my perspective, men who manage to stay despite your bad side are the ones who have true feelings for you.” You paused and glanced at him.

“I feel this agent knows you better than I know you. For the past three months of him being your bodyguard, I have never seen someone who's more patient than your father. I noticed that you throw your tantrums on him often but he will only look at you and give you your favorite coffee. Your former bodyguards never bring you your coffee without you telling them which one you prefer. But this agent, he will just pop out of nowhere with a cup of coffee you like. Is there something I don’t know about? Do you have connections with each other?” He added.

“Oh, David. Stop the spectacle of yourself. Agent Kennedy is nothing but only an agent who saved Ashley from Spain and is currently my bodyguard.” You retorted.

“But a bodyguard wouldn’t act so protective and caring of you. I mean, he’s crossing the line of being a bodyguard and you don’t notice. He’d protect you from the media, people who will tend to cause you discomfort, and bodyguards should keep an eye on his distance to his boss. But he will take off his jacket and put it on your shoulder like a man who cares for his lover.”

“Enough!” You snarled.

“You’re guilty because it’s true. A bodyguard shouldn’t look at his boss with stars in his eyes.” David added.

What's surprising about him, even though he has secret feelings towards you, it feels like he’s helping you regarding your issue with Leon which you never mentioned to anyone before.

“Admit it already, Y/n. You and Agent Kennedy had a thing before.”

You looked at him, speechless. David is a very observant person but he takes that to another level that's beyond your expectations. He raised his eyebrow at you while you shook your head in defeat.

“You’re right. We used to be lovers.” You admitted.

—

Leon was in his apartment across the apartment building you are in. He purchased the unit to keep an eye on you a few years ago. He knows that this is the place where you usually go to ease your mind rather than going to your own home. He brought his own telescope, not to look up in the sky but to stalk you. With his knowledge in hacking, he used to sneak into your apartment unit and set up small cameras that are difficult to see around your place to see what you are doing when you are out of his sight.

You just came back from your hang out with David. You are quite tipsy and tired after a long day. Leon watched you from his computer, your every movement is being captured by the hidden cameras he put around your apartment. You kicked off your heels and put them on the shoe rack before heading straight to your bedroom to have a nice and cool shower. Undressing yourself, Leon watched your naked figure step into the shower. The sound of water running as you hummed a song sent shivers down to his spine.

He watched how you touch yourself as you scrub yourself with soap and wash your hair with shampoos. The way the water ran down your body is something he can’t ignore, but craves. Those perfect large breasts, slim waist, and thick thighs, ugh. He badly wants to go there and fuck you already.

After thirty minutes of shower and skincare routine, you came out of your bathroom, wearing nothing but your robe and drying your hair with a towel. Leon continued watching you. He observed you as he realized that you were looking out the window, staring at the apartment building where he was currently in. He looked out too and there he found you standing, seemed to be in a deep thought. He studied your face and he believes that you’re unable to see him because his window is tinted.

But for you, you can definitely see him. Since Leon has become your bodyguard, you were even more observant of your surroundings. You've always had a feeling that someone is watching from the shadows and the moment you meet him again, your questions have been answered. Earlier, you and David had discussed this without mentioning Leon’s name.

“You know, obsessive people are usually more on body language, eye contacts, and sometimes, they use metaphorical words. They are waiting for the right time to have their way to their target. I suggest you give this man a little show. I believe you can do this easily. For a seductress like you, I think this is an easy task.” David smirks as he sips on his whiskey.

“What kind of ‘show’ are you talking about?” You asked.

“A strip show…”

You glared at him at the idea he suggested. “But be careful. Don’t let your bodyguard know about this show you are about to pull out or else you’ll receive a severe punishment from your daddy.” He chuckled.

He doesn’t know that the obsessive man you are talking about was no one but your bodyguard himself…

Sighing, you untie your robe and let it fall to the floor, revealing your perfect naked body. Leon gasped as his eyes widened in surprise about your sudden, unexpected move. You looked like a Greek Goddess that came down on Earth to seduce men and fulfill their lustful needs. You smirked before getting inside, slowly walking, naked. You grabbed your phone and played soothing, yet seductive music.

You started dancing and closed your eyes, feeling the rhythm and the melody of the music. Your hair dances in the air as you turn gracefully. Leon watches you, smiling to himself. Seeing you dance like that felt like nostalgia but way different from before. You changed from a sweet teenager into a seductress. Leon smirked, crossing his arms.

After a few minutes, you stopped dancing and went to your closet and wore a silk nightgown, gloves, and a coat. You put on your sandals, dried your hair, and put on a light shade of lipstick. You left your apartment, leaving him wondering what the hell just happened. You just gave him a little strip show, unsure if you did it on purpose or was that just some naughty habits he had never seen until now. While Leon heaves out an unsatisfied sigh, you went to the apartment building across yours to confront him already.

David is right. He crossed the line of being a bodyguard. Though he is affectionate to you when the two of you are together, you did not expect him to be this obsessive of you.

“...or just give in to his needs already if you find yourself attracted to the man. Confront him.”

You remember David gave you another advice earlier before going home. You also thought about this while taking a shower. You are aware that there’s a hidden camera around your house. Yet, you don’t feel creeped out at all as if you know who’s responsible for this. All the dots are connected and the mystery is solved the moment Leon came back and got hired as your bodyguard. The spark you felt towards this obsessive person sparked even more when it comes to Leon. It’s always him. Every question you make about this emotional stuff always leads back to him.

The ding of the elevator snapped you back to your senses as the doors opened. You stepped out of the elevator and went to Leon’s apartment unit, Unit 2704. You pressed the doorbell and waited for Leon to open the door.

He went to the front door and looked at the peephole. He was surprised to see you standing on his doorstep. He opened the door, you looked at him and he was surprised to see you.

“I need to talk to you,” You started in a stern tone.

—

To Be Continued...

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literaryvein-reblogs · 5 months ago

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Writing Notes: Emotions (Happiness)

Happiness manifests differently in different people. But here are a few notes to consider when writing about happiness.

Happy: Other Words to Use

HIGH excited, thrilled, ecstatic, elated, intoxicated, captivated, euphoric, joyous, jubilant, overjoyed MODERATE cheerful, upbeat, optimistic, enthusiastic, lively, gleeful, joyful, peppy, delighted, tickled, hopeful LOW merry, light, jolly, up, glad, pleased, blissful, chipper, content, perky, playful

Happiness: Some Signs

Eyes may squint slightly

Wrinkles may appear at the corners of the eyes

The cheeks may raise

A defined wrinkle may run from the sides of the nose to the corners of the mouth, known as “smile lines”

The corners of the mouth may move up at a diagonal, widening the mouth

The mouth may part, exposing teeth

Smiling: One Sign of Happiness

Describe how your character's smile looks like.

A smile may be described as warm, authentic, humorless, mocking, cruel etc.

Is your character amused, nervous, or happy?

A smile can mean many things, and it can even foreshadow a character’s hidden traits.

A cold smile can indicate a more sinister nature.

But a smile is an expression that is commonly faked. If you want to show that a character is faking a smile, you may describe their eyes as not matching the rest of their expression. True happiness is usually expressed with the eyes, so when a person smiles without showing it in their eyes, it may come across as cold and ingenuine.

Happiness: Some Quotes

It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace. (Chuck Palahniuk)

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. (Ernest Hemingway)

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, "This is what it is to be happy.” (Sylvia Plath)

I am not proud, but I am happy; and happiness blinds, I think, more than pride. (Alexandre Dumas)

Man only likes to count his troubles; he doesn't calculate his happiness. (Fyodor Dostoevsky)

Sources: 1 2 ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References

If these writing notes helped with your poem/story, please tag me. Or leave a link in the replies. I'd love to read them!

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ultrone · 2 years ago

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𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗗𝗚𝗘 ┊ 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖼

synopsis (request). click here.

cw. mentions of alcohol, smoking.

wc. 4k at most.

You sprinted across the soccer field, your heart pounding loudly. The ball was at your feet, and you could feel the weight of the game resting on your shoulders. Tai had anticipated your run and passed the ball to you at the perfect moment, giving you a great chance to succeed. You used all your energy to move past the players trying to stop you, getting closer to the goal with each step, and the goalpost seemed to grow larger as you approached.

You swung your leg with all your might and kicked the ball. Time seemed to slow down as you watched it soar through the air, perfectly aimed toward the net. The goalkeeper dived, desperately trying to block your shot, but it was too late. The ball hit the back of the net, and the crowd started cheering loudly.

The loud cheers from the crowd filled your ears, echoing across the field. The faces of your schoolmates, friends, and family merged into a joyful blur, all united in celebrating your win.

Amidst the sea of jubilant faces, you saw your teammates rushing towards you. Their beaming smiles mirrored your own. They embraced you tightly, jumping up and down in pure happiness. Lottie, your best friend and teammate, was the first one to reach you. She enveloped you in a tight hug, lifting you off the ground, her eyes sparkling with pride and excitement.

"We're going to nationals!" Van exclaimed, her voice filled with excitement. The entire team erupted into a collective celebration, their voices blending into a symphony of joyous shouts and cheers, continuing to jump up and down.

💽 𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙸𝙽�� Shoop by Salt-N-Pepa

The music echoed off the walls of the locker room, and all of your teammates joined in singing along and dancing, filled with happiness knowing that you had made it to nationals.

Lottie twirled around the room, dancing her way towards the bathroom. She glanced at Jackie, who was busy applying makeup to Allie's face, and spoke up, "Coach wants to see you in his office."

Jackie nodded and gave a gentle squeeze to Allie's arm before leaving without saying a word. Van stepped in, seamlessly taking Jackie's place and continuing to apply makeup to Allie's face.

As Allie began to voice her frustration to Van about being the only freshmen player missing prom to attend nationals, you emerged from one of the stalls, tidying your shirt as you did. The moment Lottie caught sight of you, a wide grin illuminated her face.

"There you are," she exclaimed, her voice brimming with delight.

"Here I am," you playfully responded, raising your eyebrows in jest.

"You did amazing today, Y/n," Lottie said, her eyes sparkling with admiration. "I'm really proud of you," she added, a gentle smile gracing her face as she affectionately rubbed your arm.

"Thanks, Lott," you replied, feeling a warm blush rise to your cheeks at her touch. "You weren't too bad yourself," you teased, causing Lottie to roll her eyes.

"Well, I'm glad I could live up to your impossibly high standards," Lottie retorted with a hint of sarcasm, her lips curling into a smile. "But hey, I wanted to ask, do you wanna come over?" she asked, her hand sliding from your arm to entwine her fingers with yours, playfully twirling them.

“Right now?” You questioned.

"Yeah, my parents aren't home again," she explained.

"Weren't they supposed to come back from their trip last night?" you asked confused. "I thought they were here at the game."

"They were supposed to, but they changed their return tickets once more," she replied, pursing her lips to conceal her disappointment. "You know how they are," she added, attempting to make light of the situation.

You nodded in understanding, giving her a soft smile. "I'll only go on one condition," you said as your smile gradually turned into a smirk.

"And what would that be?" Lottie asked, returning your smile with equal enthusiasm.

"If we order pizza and you let me choose today's movie," you bargained.

"But you picked the movie last time," she complained, tilting her head in mock protest.

You simply shrugged, feigning innocence.

"Ugh, fine," she conceded, a defeated smile playing on her lips, knowing she had no other choice but to agree. "I'll go get my things, I'll wait for you outside." With that, she pulled you closer, planting a small peck on your cheek before darting off towards the locker rooms to gather her belongings.

As soon as Lottie's footsteps faded away, Taissa's voice filled the air.

"Oh, Y/n, I'm so proud of you," she mimicked Lottie with an exaggerated tone, her hands reaching for Van's face. Van, who had finished doing Allie's makeup earlier, burst into laughter as Taissa peppered her face with playful kisses.

You walked over to the sink, grabbing one of the dirty towels, and playfully smacked Tai's back with it. "Shut up, both of you," you said with a flushed face, trying to hide your embarrassment. "I hate you," you added, unable to suppress your smile.

“She's so in love with you, it's getting embarrassing," Tai remarked, playfully snatching the towel from your hand and poking your stomach.

"Yeah, and you probably have feelings for her too," Van chimed in, a teasing tone lacing her words.

"No, I don't," you replied, rolling your eyes, trying to dismiss the notion. "We're just best friends," you assured them, your voice carrying a hint of defensiveness.

"Yeah right," Tai responded with a knowing smile. "Hey, look at us, Y/n! Van and I are best friends too," she declared mischievously, twirling Van around playfully, and pretending to make her fall back like a princess, capturing her in a passionate kiss.

"Alright, enough teasing," you said, playfully nudging them with a smile on your face. With that, you left the bathroom and headed towards your locker to gather your belongings, ready to join Lottie outside.

Once you had collected all your belongings and bid farewell to your friends, you stepped outside the gym and spotted Lottie patiently waiting for you in her car. With a smile, you hopped in, and she started the engine, driving the two of you towards her house.

The two of you were lying next to each other on Lottie's queen-sized bed. The large box of pizza sat on the floor, nearly empty, as neither of you could take another bite without feeling overwhelmed. The second movie of the night was halfway through, but both of you were more engrossed in your phones than in whatever was happening on the screen.

Lottie's gaze shifted towards you, noticing the constant kicking of your feet and occasional giggles.

"What are you looking at?" she asked curiously, attempting to catch a glimpse of your phone.

"Nothing," you replied, emphasizing the last syllable and turning your screen away from her. "I'm just texting Nat, that's all," you explained, causing her to furrow her eyebrows.

"Since when do you and Nat text each other?" she inquired.

"Um... I don't know. She helped me out with a project about Italy around two weeks ago, and we've been talking a lot since then. Turns out she's more fun than I thought," you chuckled.

"I see," Lottie responded, her tone tinged with a hint of coldness, before returning her attention to her own screen.

A silence lingered between you for about five minutes before Lottie spoke up again.

"Isn't she into girls?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's bi," you replied confidently, looking at her. "Why do you ask?" you asked curiously, before returning your gaze to your phone to reply to another text from Nat.

"Do you like her?" Lottie asked, her voice tinged with slight impatience, though you didn't notice.

"What?" You turned your head towards her, shocked and confused, signaling for her to repeat the question.

"Do you have a crush on her?" She reiterated with more detail.

"What? No!" You quickly responded, letting out a surprised chuckle. "I mean, no. Of course not," you continued. "She's very nice, and we're getting along really well, but honestly I don’t think I could ever look at her that way," you assured. "Why would you think that?" You asked, genuinely curious about her sudden question.

"No reason, just wondering," she replied with a soft smile, attempting to hide her slight uneasiness. "It's just that you're very giggly, kicking your feet and all. I had to ask," she explained humorously.

You laughed loudly. "Well, I don't have feelings for her like that," you reassured, returning your gaze to the chat on your phone.

Lottie nodded, her smile fading a bit as she turned her attention to her own phone.

The room grew quiet, with only the movie dialogue playing softly in the background. She wasn't convinced at all, she knew there was something happening between you two, but she wouldn't argue. At least not right now.

After a few minutes, Lottie spoke up again, her voice filled with uncertainty. "You know, if you did like her, it would be okay. I mean, she's cool, and if you're happy, then that's all that matters."

“Lottie, I don’t like her,” you reiterated. "Is everything alright? You're acting a bit weird," you asked concerned.

"Yeah... yeah," she replied, the second time a bit louder and more confident than the first. "Just forget about it," she said with a sigh and a chuckle. "Anyway, Jackie just told me that Jeff agreed to throw a party at his house tomorrow to celebrate us making it to nationals."

“Yes!” you exclaimed excitedly. “Do you mind if I spend the night? And then we leave together for the party.”

“Just using me for my car, huh?” Lottie teased sarcastically.

"And for your amazing closet," you replied, skipping towards her closet and dramatically opening it, running your fingers over the fabrics. "I wonder what I'll wear tomorrow," you added with a smirk. Lottie playfully threw a pillow at you, and you tossed it back, then quickly jumped over her and gave her a hug, both of you laughing.

It was 10:00 pm, and you and Lottie were on your way to the party. The car window was rolled down, and your arm rested halfway out as you leaned your chin on it, gazing at the stars. Your lips moved to the lyrics of the song playing, lost in the moment. Lottie couldn't help but steal glances at you, captivated by the sight of your hair flowing in the wind and your eyes reflecting the starry night sky. A tight feeling clenching her chest.

The entire day had been spent together, lazily passing the time. Since it was Saturday and there was no school, you had stayed at Lottie's house, just talking and watching movies. Despite the lack of any specific activity, the day had been enjoyable. Whenever the two of you were together, no matter what you did, it was never boring.

You tried not to think about it, you really did, but the thought of yesterday’s interaction wouldn’t leave your mind. Why was Lottie asking me all those questions about Nat? And why was she so weird about it? What if she’s… No, no, she’s obviously not into me, I mean, does she even like girls? She’s never mentioned it before, I don’t think so. She never talks about boys though, but th-

"We're here," Lottie's voice interrupted your thoughts. "Are you okay? You seemed deep in thought," she asked, her worry evident as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, offering a comforting smile.

"Y-yeah, sorry," you stammered, blinking rapidly. "Let's go," you said, quickly stepping out of the car.

The two of you walked towards the familiar entrance, accompanied by the blaring music that filled your ears. This wasn't your first time here; Jeff, Jackie’s boyfriend and the football team captain, frequently threw parties as his parents were often away traveling.

The moment you stepped inside, the mingling scents of alcohol and tobacco hit your nostrils. You scanned the room and spotted Shauna, Jackie, and Tai deep in conversation by the pool table, each holding a red cup. Both you and Lottie headed towards them to say hi.

"Wait," you said to Lottie, pausing for a moment. "I'm gonna go grab a drink from the kitchen real quick. Do you want anything?" you asked her.

"Nah, I'm good. I think I'll smoke a bit first," she replied.

"Okay. I'll be there in a bit," you said before turning your steps towards the kitchen.

It was a short walk, a small hallway connected the living room with the pool table to the kitchen, and the door frame was large enough that even from the back corner of the kitchen, you had a clear view of the entire hallway and a significant portion of the living room.

As expected, the kitchen was a mess, with water scattered across the floor, red cups strewn about, and empty beer bottles littered the kitchen bar. You rummaged through the disarray and, luckily, spotted a half-filled bottle of Smirnoff vodka. You poured the vodka into a cup, and then added soda into it as well. While stirring the drink with your index finger, you turned around and leaned against the kitchen bar.

After finishing the mixing process, you licked your finger and took a big sip, feeling the burn of the alcohol as it slid down your throat, balanced by the sweetness of the soda. As you slowly lowered the cup, your gaze instantly found Lottie in the crowd.

For the first time that night, you couldn't help but pay close attention to her appearance, despite trying your best not to. She wore a soft pink checkered skirt that accentuated her long, stunning legs, paired with a darker pink fuzzy cropped sweater and stylish black boots. Her wavy brown hair cascaded loosely, resting gracefully on her shoulders. A radiant smile adorned her face as she engaged in conversation with the girls, her weight shifted onto her right leg, while her right hand casually rested on the pool table. In her left hand, she held a beer she likely found somewhere, holding a cigarette between her fingers.

Suddenly, a voice broke you from the trance you were in.

"Quit drooling, Y/n," Nat teased, standing next to you, a mischievous grin on her face.

You rolled your eyes, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment. "See? This is why I didn't want to tell you about it. Now you won't let it go," you muttered, turning to face her.

Nat smirked, clearly enjoying your discomfort. "No, I won't. Should've known better before telling me," she replied playfully.

"Ah, fuck off," you joked, playfully shoving her shoulder.

Leaning her face to one side and crossing her arms, Nat asked, "So, when are you telling her how you feel?"

You looked at her as if she had said something absurd. "Um... never???" you responded, emphasizing the obviousness of your answer.

"Are you kidding?" Nat exclaimed, clearly baffled by your response.

"Why would I be kidding?" you retorted. "She's my best friend, Nat. I don't want to risk it. Plus, I don't even know if she's into girls," you explained.

"Dude, literally everyone knows she's into you. You're the only one stupid enough not to notice," Nat declared, shaking her head in disbelief.

"No, she's not into me," you insisted, trying to deny Nat's claims.

Nat shook her head, an exasperated expression on her face. "She waits for you after practice every day to drive you home, she's always staring at you and blushing when you look back at her. She's touchy, always playing with your fingers and doing gay shit like that. And she talks about you all the damn time, to the point where it's annoying," she asserted. "She even goes easy on you during practice, for fuck's sake."

"Okay, okay, I get it," you interrupted, realizing that Nat had a point. "But that could just be her being a good best friend, right?" you tried to argue back.

Nat sighed, clearly frustrated. "You have to be kidding me, Y/n," she said. "You know that I'm right. You're just too much of a pussy to admit it."

"No, I'm not," you defended yourself, feeling fear and uncertainty welling up inside you.

"Yes, you are," Nat repeated, deliberately trying to provoke you.

You were scared. What Nat had pointed out was undeniably true — Lottie's actions had been blurring the line between friendship and something more. You were desperate to confess your feelings, but the fear of rejection held you back. In frustration, you huffed and downed the rest of your drink, unable to find any more arguments to counter Nat's claims.

“You smirred your lipstick a bit,” she said.

“Where? Here?” you said as you cleaned the wrong side with your thumb.

"No, no, lemme just..." Nat trailed off, moving her thumb toward your lip and carefully wiping away the smudged lipstick on your lower lip. Her brows furrowed in concentration.

Just as the moment between you and Nat seemed to linger, a throat cleared nearby, abruptly interrupting the innocent exchange. Startled, you turned around to find Lottie standing there, a fresh new drink in her hand and her cigarette almost finished.

"Y/n, can we talk?" she requested, her tone leaving no room for refusal. Her voice held a firmness, almost demanding, as she spoke, and her gaze was empty — almost tinged with jealousy — as she looked at Nat.

"Yeah, sure," you replied with a smile, though a sense of nervousness crept in. Turning to Nat, you bid her farewell with a smile and a nod. Then, you followed Lottie as she began walking, ascending the stairs. You trailed behind her like a lost puppy about to be scolded, noticing her slightly unsteady steps along the way. It was evident she was already tipsy, and you could feel a tingling sensation starting to spread through your own body.

Lost in your thoughts, you snapped back to reality as Lottie abruptly stopped walking. You found yourselves standing on a balcony that overlooked the backyard of the house. You looked down and saw people scattered around, engrossed in their own conversations.

Resting her elbows on the balcony bar, Lottie stared ahead, taking a deep drag from her cigarette before exhaling. The air between you grew heavy with silence, laced with a tinge of awkward tension—an unspoken desire to express so much but struggling to find the right words or the moment to begin.

You walked up beside Lottie, mirroring her posture by resting your elbows on the bar. Together, you observed the people below, waiting for Lottie to gather her thoughts and initiate the conversation.

Flicking the last ashes off her cigarette, she dropped it to the ground below and casually stepped on it. With deliberate movements, she shifted her body to fully face you, keeping only one arm resting on the bar. Her eyes locked onto your face, and you met her gaze, anticipating her next words.

"I've been wanting to tell you something," she began, her voice tinged with sincerity and vulnerability. "Honestly, I didn't plan on it, never thought it would happen, but it's getting to a point where I feel like I'll burst if I don't say it," she confessed, her words carrying a weight of honesty.

You furrowed your brows in silence, a hint of concern in your voice. "Lott, you know you can tell me anything. What's wrong?" you asked, though deep down, you had a sense of what she might be hinting at. Your heart began to race, awaiting her response.

Lottie hesitated for a moment, her fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. Her usually confident demeanor faltered slightly, and her voice wavered as she gathered her thoughts. She took a deep breath before finally speaking. "Well, I... I've been feeling something for you, Y/n," she began, staring deeply into your eyes.

She continued, her words carefully chosen as she tried to articulate her emotions. "I've been trying to deny it, but I can't ignore the way my heart races when I'm with you, or how your smile lights up my day. Every time we're together, it's like everything else fades away, and it's just you and me."

"I think…" Lottie paused, correcting herself, "Uh... I mean, I know. I'm in love with you, Y/n," her voice trembled slightly as she finished her confession. Her eyes searching yours for a response, her vulnerability hanging in the air.

Your heart pounded in your chest as her words sank in. Lottie liked you back. You couldn't believe it, really. You stood there in stunned silence, trying to make sure the alcohol wasn't playing tricks on your ears.

Gathering your thoughts, you locked eyes with Lottie, searching for any sign or indication that this was some kind of joke, but there was none. The sincerity in her eyes was undeniable. You didn't need her to repeat herself; you knew what she had said.

"I'm in love with you too, Lottie," you confessed, your voice filled with certainty.

"Wait... what?" she asked, her expression dumbfounded. "I-I thought you had a thing for Nat," she said, confusion evident in her voice.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Nat is just my friend," you reassured her.

"But she was touching your lips, and I thought..."

"She was helping me clean my smudged lipstick. I smudged it because I chugged down my entire cup of vodka, which I did because she was trying to convince me to accept that we're in love and that I should confess my feelings to you, but I refused," you explained, filling in the missing pieces.

Lottie's voice was filled with hope as she asked, "Wait, so you really like me back?"

Her hopeful question hung in the air, and without wasting another second, you thought that actions would speak louder than words. You swiftly pulled her towards you by the collar of her sweater, and then slid your hands up, locking your fingers in the nape of her neck, holding her firmly but tenderly, and you tightly pursed your lips together as if it were second nature to you. Your mouth was suddenly filled with the flavour of beer and tobacco, and you couldn't help but moan at the taste. She initially tensed in surprise but she soon relaxed and returned the kiss with the same intensity, tenderly moving her hands to your waist and drawing you in. As your tongue touched her lower lip to plead for access, her sweet scent filled your nostrils. You slid one of your hands to her cheek and softly caressed it with your thumb. As soon as she opened her mouth, your tongues started dancing together, fitting like perfectly matched jigsaw pieces.

Struggling for air, the both of you separated, your lips were bruised, and your breaths were rapid. You slowly opened your eyes and then gazed lovingly at one another.

"Does that answer your question?" you asked while catching your breath.

"Mmmm, I think I need another kiss," She bargained, a smirk slowly forming on her face, "Just to make sure you aren't lying, y'know?” She added.

"Yeah, right," you replied, returning her smirk. "Well, your wish is my command," you said, leaning in once again, ready to fulfill her request for another kiss.

“Fucking finally!” A drunken voice yelled from the backyard, followed by the sound of a cup being thrown in the air, hitting the bar with a loud thud. Startled, you turned around to find a drunken Taissa, accompanied by Nat and Van, giving you and Lottie a boisterous round of applause in celebration of your apparent confession.

As the both of you laughed in embarrasement, you playfully raised your middle finger at them, then pulled Lottie closer with your other hand. Your lips met once again in a deep, passionate kiss, eliciting a loud cheer from the girls below you.

#lottie matthews #lottie matthews fanfic #lottie matthews x reader #lottie matthews x you #lottie matthews x y/n #yellowjackets #yellowjackets fanfic #yellowjackets x reader

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re-colligere · 3 months ago

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Hnnngggg I hope this doesn't come on too strong but I am absolutely in love with your spy au. AHH it is SO GOOD, the way you've given everybody a specialty role and groovy outfit, and of course the villain/good guys dynamics LET'S GO. It's just like one of those things that makes your brain all "👀"

Your villain agent Joy is so 😳*insert nonexistent emoji of someone proposing with a spiffy diamond ring* I dunno bro something about morally dubious women in suits with manic grins, oh dear. (The way you draw Joy in general is my absolute fav ever. When you draw her smile it really feels like there's love behind it, if that makes sense?? She just radiates sunshine in your style <33 /gen, very pos)

So SO curious about the rest of the Emotions and who is allied with which group, and it's super fascinating to see everyone's relationships switched up in your au. It's all so epic, you do utterly amazing work and I can't wait to see what else you have cooked up. Thanks for sharing your art with us <33

^^ MY HONEST REACTION TO THIS INFORMATION..... HELLO?????!? thank you SO much I'm so happy dappy you're enjoying my spy au so far AGUHJFKDHGRG I'm definitely just stumbling around here and there, though it's starting to get semi-serious...we'll see how it develops :eyes:

I'M GLAD you like evil joy!! I was a little hesitant about the villain group in this au because I don't like making any of the guys too antagonistic...... but tbh it's grown on me a lot. Joy only got in the villain group because I wanted some fuckinn. enemies joyness yuri tbh AND I also thought making Joy evil would be so funny. I love morally dubious women in suits who also manage to be whimsical and silly I'm shaking your hand anon!!! ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH??? WHAT!!!! im so happy to hear oh mygooddddd joy is always such a delight to draw, this is so sweet ;u; TYSM OAHWUHAG <33

and YES i'll keep working on the rest! I've got everyone's roles n dynamics locked in, though of course since I'm flying by the seat of my pants here, things are subject to change. I'm planning on making a post/masterlist/whatever so I can properly compile all the spy stuff (though #spy au is pretty handy on its own already). ALSO yeah it's been super fun working with the characters and their relationships!!! switching up everyone's dynamics is such a fun thought exercise... I could talk about How I eventually arrived at the cast arrangement that I have, but to be honest?? the start of it was random, and the finished cast is also kinda random but a bit more balanced. I'll start getting into the deets of everything once I've got more ideas to present >:]c rubbing my evil hands together. wild how this started as mainly a disear au but man. the story's kinda just unfolding in front of my eyes LMAO

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR SUCH A WONDERFUL MESSAGE here's an eensy joy for you!! Looking forward to sharing tons more stuff!

#gene answers #anonymous #spy au #gene art #miss april fools #joy

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aleksanderscult · 4 months ago

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I love, love so much your blog! I recently finished Shadow and Bone trilogy and my head is like no thought, only Darklina xD So I'm really glad to have found this blog and read your thoughtfull meta!

I have so many thoughts about the trilogy (I've read SoC dualogy but I'm not that big of fan) so I will start with this question: What do you think was the purpose of the donkey dream sequency in S&S? I mean this:

Are they very poor? I ask Ana Kuya.

Not so poor as others.

Then why doesn't he buy a donkey?

He doesn't need a donkey, says Ana Kuya. He has a wife.

I'm going to marry Alina, Mal says.

Then Alina has another dream, where she's the girl but then floats to the sky, leaving the salt behind her.

While reading it, I thought it as a metaphor her being afraid of being with Mal, of becoming ordinary girl and being shackled to him. But with the ending of the trilogy, her losing powers and marrying Mal, didn't she just do that? What do you think LB intented to with this scene? I'm interested knowing your interpration.

Thank you so much, sweet anon! And welcome to this fandom!❤️❤️ You remind me of myself as I was almost a year ago. Be warned though: this suffering will never end. 🥲

Admittedly, I haven't analyzed this scene. Probably because it's too weird and painful.

This couple that they see on the road can really bring Malina flashbacks to the reader.

The man is joyful, carefree, whistling away without a care. He's every inch of Mal from the moment he's been introduced to us.

The woman is tired and struggling. She's Alina carrying this power inside of her without knowing it.

The man doesn't seem to care that his wife is exhausted. The same way Mal didn't seem to care when Alina was sick and dragging her feet. There is this obvious subordination that Mal wants to replicate. Unwillingly or not, Leigh Bardugo really kept Mal's character canon with this vision: he always wanted Alina to depend on him, not to have her own independence.

One could say that his statement "I'm going to marry Alina" is irrelevant with the previous conversation but it does look very suspicious, doesn't it? Mal, a mere child now, seeing this couple and finding it normal for the man to dominate his wife. Was he influenced by such scenes and therefore found them normal?

This scene could be interpreted as Baghra giving advice to Alina regarding her powers and what happens if you suppress them.

But still, why does it kinda look like the same "Have power but only so much as" shit again.

And to be grateful for what? For being a Grisha? Or maybe for having enough strength without needing to search for the remaining amplifiers.

Just like I said in the beginning, these scenes are really sad. For a woman to be compared to a donkey, for a young boy that wants to marry her and (very) possibly treat her that way makes you feel depressed inside. Especially if the reader is a woman too.

The first memory could be real. Or (and I lean on this interpretation) Alina unconsciously conjured a metaphor of how her relationship is with Mal. Deep down she knows how things really are (Mal is the master and Alina just a weak girl trying to catch up on this connection by suppressing the thing that keeps her healthy) but she pushes these things aside, deludes herself and clings on her love for him. The same way she did when she lost her powers. Just look what she said in "Rule of Wolves" to the Darkling. "I am happy. You never saw me this way". Meanwhile Alina's mental state: ☠️☠️

But how Bardugo thought about this scene? That Mal just made an innocent, romantic comment that didn't pass the vibe check. I'm very sure that she didn't want him to be sexist here (she cares about this character too much to spoil his reputation) but she bamboozled herself and made him look like a little prick. Ana Kuya's comment "He doesn't need a donkey. He has a wife" probably reflects the sexist world that Leigh created. Which, by the way, would be fine if she had only let her protagonist break away from these kind of "chains" and find her own power and purpose inside this story *gestures towards George R. R. Martin's female characters*.

#this scene is a jumpscare #you enjoy your book and then Bam! you get hit by sexist bullshit #the only good thing from it is how Aleksander touched her cheek while she was unconscious #thank you for the ask anon! 🩷#anti malina #anti mal oretsev #anti leigh bardugo #alina starkov #siege and storm #shadow and bone #grishaverse

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kittybroker · 9 months ago

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not a submission, just stopping to say your joyful and kind words towards the kitties you broke bring me a lot of happies and nice feelings, i only followed recently but it is always a delight to see you on my dash!! lots of nice positive wholesomeness i appreciate immensely :))

also, picture of my dollie about to sneeze be upon ye (SHE'S NOT FOR SALE!!!!!!)

OW! It sneezed one me! Good thing this kitty isn't for sale then! I am glad you are enjoying the blog!

#text post #crazy kitty #asks

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megu-meow · 2 years ago

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lovebug - gojo satoru

gojo satoru x fem. reader

Summary: Teeth rotting fluff. That's it.

Not proofread!

It wasn't too often that you were away on a mission and Gojo stayed alone in Tokyo, usually, he was the one to leave you. You were gone for three days. Three long days of getting bored at work, annoying his students, Ijichi, Nanami, and everyone else he met on campus, but the worst of all was the sleepless nights without you by his side. When the two of you were looking for a bed frame for your shared apartment he thought it would be cool to purchase the largest one he could find, but now, with your side of the soft mattress empty and cold, the blatantly oversized bed made him feel even more alone.

Thankfully the wait was over, you were going home to him that night. He wanted everything to be nice and clean by the time you arrived, so he got off work earlier to clean the house and prepare some nice dinner that the two of you could enjoy. Besides making you happy with these gestures, all that activity kept him occupied and caused the time to go by faster. But you didn't get home by 8 as you promised. It was way past 11 and you were nowhere to be found, your phone was off so he couldn't contact you either. He started getting worried, he was sitting on the couch checking his phone every ten seconds, his senses heightened, hoping that he could hear the jingle of your keys at any second. The sleepless night also started catching up to him, he could barely keep his eyes open.

Satoru jolts awake as he feels you climbing onto his lap, resting your head on his muscular chest. He wraps his arms around you without hesitation, it's almost like the movement is carved into his brain, a reflex he could not surpass, even if he wanted to.

"What's up, my little mochi? Did you miss me?" he asks, his voice deeper than usual and laced with sleepiness.

"Not as much as you missed me, Satoru! Yaga called me yesterday begging me to come back so that you'll leave him alone, you big baby." you tease him, your words muffled by his overpriced sweatshirt. You dramatically inhale the smell of the fabric, the scent radiating from it familiar and warm. The mixture of laundry detergent and expensive cologne make up the essence of Gojo Satoru, of your home, a smell and feeling you've missed while you were away.

"Hey! I was trying to cope with losing the love of my life for three long days. You should be glad I am not petty, because if I was, I would be soooo mad at you for leaving me." you laugh out loud at his words, he truly is the clingiest person you've ever met, but you are aware that his obnoxious and seemingly joyful words are hiding a lot of sorrow, guilt and fear from losing anyone else important in his life. So you play along, joining him in his shenanigans, because that's what he needs. The reminder and the promise of you coming back every time you leave him behind to fulfil your duties as a sorcerer.

"Thank you, all high and mighty Gojo Satoru, the Strongest, the Honored One for choosing not to be petty, this once in your entire life." you say jokingly, still sitting on his lap, but you distance yourself a little bit from him as you bow down to increase the stupidness of the situation. You observe as the sorcerer's chest puffs with pride, his smile reaches his ears as he takes in all the compliments that leave your mouth. His hands cup the sides of your cheeks and pulls you in closer to kiss you lovingly, though he's still smiling like an idiot and you keep muttering words of praise under your nose, making him laugh out loud. You drop your head back onto his chest, enjoying the vibrations that are caused by the sounds of his amusement and the thumping heart that beats rhythmically, a bit faster than usual. His blatantly oversized hand travels up into your hair, ruffling it, a gesture he keeps doing, knowing that it annoys you to no end, but you would never stop him, because it's one of his idiotic ways to show his affection.

"Come on, lovebug, I made dinner, though I'm pretty sure it's already cold by now, because someone had to be a diva and had to arrive blatantly late." he said, picking you up as he started walking towards the kitchen. He liked carrying you around the house, enjoying the feeling of you hanging onto him like a koala bear.

"OH THANKS FOR REMINDING ME!" you shout as you wiggle your way out of his hold and you run towards your luggage that you dropped at the entrance of your shared home. You pull out a bag of sweets, one he recognises instantly and his smile widens and his eyes fill with adoration. It's from his favourite bakery in Kyoto, one he always visits when he's around there. "I missed my flight because I wanted to bring you a souvenir, so I had to take the bullet train back. I also left my charger in the hotel and my phone died halfway. I'm sorry for making you wait, Satoru, I hope the sweets could make up for it though."

"I love you, my mochi." he says as he steps closer to you, sneaking his hands around your hips, pulling you closer so that he could kiss you passionately "Next time though, please charge your phone beforehand, I was worried sick, I thought something bad happened."

"I know, baby, I'm sorry." you answer, your voice laced with guilt. You know better than anyone else how agonising it is to not be able to contact your most beloved one, especially if he's a sorcerer as sought out as Gojo. So you run your hands through his unruly hair, brushing away a few strands that are annoyingly covering the depth of his unnaturally blue eyes. "I love you."

You spend the rest of the night at the dinner table, enjoying the food Satoru has prepared, you compliment him on his improving cooking skills and he fills with pride. He already has an enormous ego, but sometimes even a guy like him needs reassurance of his abilities, especially because it's something he has never gotten from his parents. You also listen to him as he rambles about how boring his days were without you around, but tells you a few stories about what happened at school, with the kids, he slightly mentions an incident where Megumi was being hit on by a young lady and in between his incoherent, excited rumbling you make out some elaborate plan he refers to as 'Formation B', however, his mouth is also full of food and the word are even more mushed, so you let it slide, without asking to give you more details of the idiotic rules and shenanigans he imposes on his students. He asks you about your mission, he demands you give him a detailed report about every single injury you suffered, but you have none, besides being slightly scratched on the arm by a stray cat you wanted to befriend near the hotel you stayed at.

After dinner, the two of you get ready to go to bed together and he's adamant about wearing matching pyjamas, a couples' set he bought a while ago and one he adores, with plaid bottoms and cheesy T-shirt tops with cat faces on the front, yours wearing a tiara and his wearing a crown. He also makes a big deal so that you would notice that he changed the bedsheets, the duvet and both of your pillows having the same cats printed all over the bedding, a set he probably had custom made. The whole thing makes you laugh, but you secretly adore it and Satoru knows. He picks you up by the waist and drops you onto the bed, the sheets feel soft and comforting under your skin and they also smell like lavender, which makes the tiredness and fatigue from your travels finally hit you.

You fall asleep to Satoru rubbing both of your noses together, forming an Eskimo kiss as he constantly confesses his feelings towards you, how he missed you, how much he loves you and how pretty he thinks you are. He doesn't need you to reciprocate all these little confessions, firstly, because you are asleep, finally in his arms. Secondly, because he knows you feel the same way about him without words. Though, for a second he contemplates waking you up, making you believe that he's mad at you for not returning his kind and loving words towards you, but he discards that thought as he feels you shuffling even closer to him subconsciously. He's not going to be petty this once.

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo saturo #gojo fluff #gojo imagine #gojo x reader #satoru gojo #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu kaisen #satoru x reader #satoru imagine #jjk imagine #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #jjk x you

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yellowocaballero · 1 year ago

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So fucking glad to see someone talk about SSS Class revival hunter 😭 I lived it so much and I feel like no one ever mentions it against more popular titles like ORV or even The Lout of the counts family, so I'm so glad to come here and see your amazing takes :>

Thank you for the ask which lets me talk about SSSCRH (the version I read was titled 'Suicide Hunter', which tbh I like more - no beating around the bush).

It's hard to draw an accurate comparison since I'm going off just the webtoon for SSSCRH, while I'm going off both the webtoon and the webnovel for ORV. And I love ORV, ORV is my media blorbo right now, it hydraulic presses my brain, I am writing ORV fanfic - it's, like, funner to enjoy. But SSSRH is just better. In the vast majority of ways it is is better. It's better than the holy trinity by a wide margin. TW talk of suicide obviously.

I can't believe I'm saying this but you need a basic understanding of Buddhism in order to understand SSSCRH. It's not about Gongja's suicides - he doesn't suicide from depression or lack of self-esteem. SSSCRH is about suffering in the Buddhist sense - dukkha. I don't want to make this an essay, so I might reblog this with more information, but extremely shortly:

The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism is the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering. You've heard that Buddhists say 'life is suffering'. To put it one way that doesn't require defining a lot of words: the cause of suffering is experiencing the world as we percieve it instead of how it truly is. Suffering isn't just being miserable and in pain, and life isn't suffering because life sucks and global warming exists and people voted for Trump. Life is suffering because we can experience beautiful and joyful moments in this world, but we do not exist in the moment of that happiness or place our ego/'self' between us and that happiness. Living in that moment, accepting the moment as it is unconditionally, is freedom from suffering. The Buddha tries to free people from suffering through teaching Buddhism.

"What does this have to do with the webnovel and manwha about a guy murdering himself thousands of times" it has everything to do with it. Because SSSCRH is about suffering, and it is about using suffering as a tool in order to experience a world unfiltered by ego and break down the artificial boundaries between human beings. Suffering in SSSCRH is not a bad thing. Gongja has the unique capability to (reincarnate.) experience a person's suffering in unity with them, which dissolves the delusion of separation between people and puts us in touch with the reality of oneness.

The Murim arc was fucking insane because Gongja pulls a Big Bodhisattva Move and walks through the suffering of the world in order to achieve full understanding of the human experience. He takes all of the suffering of the world into himself and is liberated. You can tell it's Buddhist because death was not presented as a bad thing - death was an aspect of a happy ending for the Heavenly Demon lady, because she was finishing her life according to her own joy, and because her teachings were passed on she did not truly die.

But the purpose of embracing suffering is to discover the ability to fully embrace life, and that's where Heavenly Demon's teachings were incomplete - as the ghost dude said, Gongja hasn't even experienced his own full life and the infinite capability for his own happiness. You can only feel the depths of sadness when you've felt the depths of happiness. Sadness deserves its place in the world and it can strengthen you, but so does happiness.

Gongja is attention-seeking, envious, and unbelievably petty. When he drills down into his own desires and why he wants the things he wants, you see that he has a very strong sense of justice and right and wrong - he realizes he doesn't want to be famous, he wants to be acknowledged, but on an even deeper level he is desperate for love and to be loved. Everything he does is to experience love, and as such he learns to love others. His love for the Flamey Asshole was purely parasocial and ego-filled, with no concern for who he was as a human. Throughout the manwha, he grows to care for people as they truly are and pierce through any delusions or misleading outward appearances. He has released all attachment to life and death, and as such does not fear death, and as such has taken a step on the road towards becoming a Boddhisatva who frees others from the cycle of samsara, and as a result has learned sick sword techniques and is sooo good at beating people up.

I think the only other thing I want to mention here because otherwise this is an essay: in almost every time loop/regression story, only the final regression matters. In stories with dungeon monsters and NPCs, only the humans matter. The regressor exists in a space where there are no consequences for their actions, so they act terribly and do whatever because none of it matters. In Groundhog Day Bill Murray acts like an asshole because he can. That's not the case here. Everything Gongja does matters. The NPCs are fake, but Gongja never treats them as anything less than real people who deserve life. Once he understands a person's life he never treats them as unimportant. No loop is thrown away and no person or life is disregarded. His choices matter, the way he treats others matters, and Gongja never treats anybody as if they don't matter except for himself.

That was not short. There is a lot more. The female characters are so good and so rich. From a craft perspective it is excellently paced and has a wonderful sense of set-up/payoff and balances tone and maintains a lot of momentum, which is really hard in a time loop story. You have to do a few very specific things to write OP characters well and SSSCRH does it very well. There's more to say from a craft perspective and it's hard to judge accurately from a webtoon but it's good. I was so strangely struck the entire time about how sincere and genuine it was, how it said what it said with no trace of irony of confusion, and I think that's what stuck with me the most.

TL;DR: SSS Class Revival Hunter is good for a lot of very normal reasons, such as excellent pacing and set-up/pay off and characters, but it's also so sincerely and genuinely Buddhist that it blew my tits clean off.

#sss class revival hunter #kim gongja #ssscrh #I s2g I rewrite these like three times to be as short as possible #I just knew I had to define some terms because if I say 'it's about suffering' and leave it at that #people aren't going to fully get it #its not intuitive from a western perspective #It's really hard to get the full meaning of SSSCRH if you have no familiarity with Buddhism #bc suffering (and delusion and nothingness and oneness) mean diff things in buddhism than in english #theres other buddhist stuff like responsibility to the whole and the community but this was long enough already #the few ppl talking about it have good takes but I think ppl miss how #kgj isnt depressed and he doesnt kill himself from self-sacrifice #he's not kdj or cale #he only truly commits suicide (throws his life away) once which was from part percieved worthlessness of his own life #and big part EXTREME FUCKING PETTINESS NEXT LVL PETTINESS INSANE PETTINESS #every other time he kills himself is from his EXTREME goal oriented behavior #as usual there seems to be a dialogue with the rest of its genre #specifically the extreme egocentrism and selfishness of its genre and other OP protags #(which cale has a hilarious relationship w/)#(ur doing amazing honey i know this upsets you)#my asks #and theres also a conversation with buddhism itself anyway #i love orv but this is so much better on so many levels and its being slept on smh #nobody is going to read this its way too long but you know. its not ABOUT you.

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punkpandapatrixk · 10 months ago

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[PPA Masterlist] [corresponding PAC]

🍯New Age Money ★ Concept Affirmations

🍯main character🍯

I am the main character of an exciting Life. It is MY Life. I live in a world surrounded by Kindness. I make my world exciting, joyful, and full of adventures. I have a sense of purpose. I learn and study all kinds of things that are interesting to me. I intend to be useful to my community and make the world a better place. I am unwavering in my pursuit. I meet helpful people. I meet kindhearted souls who are patient with me as I work out my place in this world. I belong in this world. People appreciate my effort and support my passion. I am appreciated for just being. I am the main character of an exciting Life!

🍯divine talents🍯

I am a divine being blessed with many talents. I was born to fulfil an exciting role. I have in me all that’s needed to fulfil my Destiny. I follow my heart to refine my skills. I have great discipline and develop myself accordingly. What I do is important. I am important. My dreams and daydreams show me where I need to go where I’m needed. I have complete faith in my abilities. I am the best at what I do. I am extraordinary and the most unique of them all. I am unshaken in the face of adversity. I learn from my mistakes. I grow myself with healthy self-esteem. I respect myself and my boundaries. Life is an exciting adventure where my divine talents are needed!

🍯Lyfe Purpose🍯

I step into my Life Purpose. I live an authentic Life. I am strong in my conviction. I don’t worry about a lack of support. I never worry about a lack of money. The Universe takes care of all of my basic needs. I am protected by my Higher Self. I am shielded from great harms by my team of Spirit Guides. I am supported by the Cosmos in my pursuit of realising my Life Purpose. My Life is all about learning and experiencing. I am secure and safe. I am able to rest peacefully when my body mind and soul need a recharge. I make beautiful memories with interesting people. I develop great friendships. I am of service. I am always taken care of.

🍯easy currency🍯

I easily monetise my divine talents. I am well-compensated for all the work that I do. I am appreciated for my honest passions. All of my income is positive. I am unaffected by the streams of negativity attached to my income. I easily transmute lingering negative aenergy attached to my income. I am happy with my income. I am grateful for my income. People are glad to pay for my products and services. People are happy with my products and services. People are grateful for my products and services. I receive generous amounts of income. I get a lot of gifts for any work well done. I live in ease and abundance. I am prosperous and generous.

🍯time management🍯

I have an abundance of Time. I have an abundance of aenergy to manage my tasks. I have all the time in the world to do what I want when I want. I work and study at my own pace. Time is on my side. Time is my friend. I am relaxed. I am at peace. I know everything is as it should be. I accept Divine Timing. I am not in a competition with Destiny. I’m never in a hurry. No task is ever an emergency. I manage my time masterfully. I enjoy my Life, here and now. I am always in alignment. I am on time. Time is my friend. Time is on my side. Time comes to my aid. I have an abundance of Time.

🍯unmatched luck🍯

I am a lucky being. I am blessed with good fortune. Everything turns out in my favour. I see God’s message in everything that unfolds before me. I believe in the benevolence of the abundant Universe. My faith is unmatched. I believe in myself. I trust my path. Lady Luck loves me. Lady Luck favours me. I am the world’s luckiest being. I easily manifest good fortunes. I am met with positive life experiences at every turn. I have the best luck in the world. My faith and my goodness are my strongest lucky charms. The Universe gladly bestows me with lucky opportunities. I manifest rare opportunities. I come on top. I win every competition. I am a lucky being. I have unmatched Luck!

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

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glass--beach · 20 days ago

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hey, just wanted to say thanks from the bottom of my heart for your recent posts 💜💜💜 im a transsexual system and i struggle to trust my perception of myself all the time. i'm always hearing that there are very narrow definitions for people like me and that i have to be careful not to describe or express myself in a way that pushes those boundaries lest i become a Faker or some kind of a Mistaker.

idk it's just a relief to know that there are some people i don't have to prove myself to. who will just take it at face value when i say that i can't be Just One Person but a multitude of identities that contradict one another and aren't necessarily compatible and are nonsensical. it's nice to know there are people like you who i don't have to be on edge with.

the euphoria i feel when i allow my alters to express themselves in the way that feels truest and most joyful is similar to the euphoria i felt from HRT and surgery. i am glad to see that people like you exist, even if strangers, who will just see our happiness for happiness, and who will not sound any alarms just because our happiness looks different to most people's.

<3 <3 <3

the more people i meet out there with different experiences the more i start to see patterns in how ideas of normalcy marginalize difference. i think a lot of people are uncomfortable with the way other’s perspectives can force them to question their own sense of self but it’s a feeling i do my best to welcome. i’m likely plural in some sense myself, it makes a lot of sense but is something i’m still figuring out, and i can at least say considering a different framework of self has given me new insights on my inner world & habits etc which has been very helpful and productive for me. i just can’t act like i’m an authority on anyone else’s internal experience anymore because i think that comes from a depressingly solipsistic worldview keeping so many people from genuinely connecting with others. glad you felt seen by my words

#asks

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gwenllian-in-the-abbey · 8 months ago

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i think Helaena can be autistic but also a happy and joyful girl , autism ≠ depression. the way the portrayed the only neurodivergent character on screen as unstable, shunned depressed, and with no importance to the plot feel very ableist and weird , but then they're the ones who made the guy with a foot disability a feet fetishist 🫠

Hi OP, finally answering this because the trailer dropped and still the only Helaena shots we have are from her Jaehaerys' funeral. There is also one still photo of her. If you haven't seen it, here she is, apparently sewing the funeral shroud for her little boy:

So it seems like season 2 is going to continue on this trajectory for Helaena as a character who exists in order to suffer beautifully.

Don't get me wrong. I am glad that the show is going to wring the full emotional effect from Blood and Cheese, not just shock value. The audience will feel the real horror of a six year old child brutally murdered in his own home and the psychological torment of Helaena. It should be terrible, it should be devastating, and I hope they do not pull any punches.

What's disappointing about how the show has handled Helaena is that they didn't really put any effort into building up her character before her tragedy. It's all well and good that she likes bugs and she's touch averse, but what are her opinions? Who is she closest to? How did she react to becoming a mother so young? To what extent does she understand her visions? What does she value? She can be happy and cheerful, or she can be frustrated and angry, and hell, she can be depressed too, but I need to know why. It's telling that I can describe the basic internal motivations for each of the male children, including Luke who was a glorified plot device, but I cannot for Helaena. Aegon wants to feel loved, Jace wants to prove he's as worthy as any trueborn heir, Aemond wants what his brother has, Luke wants to be free from his family's expectations. Helaena? Fuck if I know. I guess she wants not to die horribly.

The ableism is an issue. F&B is full of women who were deemed "simple" -- Gael, Daella, Jaehaera-- without being given much else to define them, and HotD adds another (there's something, I think, to the way the "simple" Targaryens are always women and how disability kind of used as a way to remove them from the narrative and shunt them aside, often tragically). And while it's great to see an autistic person represented on screen, the show consistently has an issue with treating representation as characterization. "Autistic girl who likes bugs" is not a personality. Autistic people, (even those with horrifying prophesies I assume), do have hopes and dreams and feelings about things. The one peek we get into Helaena's life is at the in episode 8 when she roasts Aegon and even that scene is open to interpretation (and gets taken wildly out of context). Now, I can read a lot into the actor performances, but ultimately, lines that could have given a glimpse Helaena personality were cut. It's as if they're afraid that if they give her an opinion on anything she would lose that (frankly kind of infantilizing) "pure cinnamon roll too good for this world" "i would die for her" sympathy from people who are not inclined to be sympathetic for her family as a whole.

(And anon, you're right about Larys. And let me say, turning Larys' clubfoot into the punchline of an OnlyFeet joke also does not inspire confidence that they'll handle Aegon II's eventual disability with any sensitivity either, especially when Mushroom's accounts of his last few months are incredibly mean spirited. We need to start that discourse now so they get the memo).

Sadly, I don't think the show really has any intention of course correcting with Helaena in season 2. I imagine at most we'll have her try to warn Aegon and/or Aemond about Blood & Cheese but they won't understand her warning, and then this will be a vehicle to further their guilt and grief. And while we do need to see Aegon's guilt and his grief, I also want to know if Helaena blames herself, if she wishes they'd run away when they had the chance, if she thinks Aegon could have done something, if she is angry at Aemond for killing Luke, if she wants revenge. I do think, with the public funeral for Jaehaerys, they are going to show that the smallfolk are fond of Helaena, and hopefully that will be expanded upon this season and in season 3 because her death is the catalyst for the revolt that sees Rhaenyra driven from the city, and we should understand why her death has such an impact before she actually dies.

#asks #helaena targaryen #hotd critical #hotd ableism #team green

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gamergirl-niffler · 2 years ago

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I had a difficult time deciding what to choose. Finally, I'd want to ask for number 3 with Howl ❤️

Howl... with "Making a promise to remain friends forever"... sweetie! I feel friendzoned by him now, BUT oh well... a request is a request!

HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY IT!

My first time writing for him... so don't eat me alive...

BY THE WAY! I KNOW! IT'S JUST A SECOND WORK! AND IT TAKES ME A LOT OF TIME TO WRITE!

I AM SORRY AND I AM WORKING ON OTHER FICS!

Howl rushed over to Markl and Sophie, adjusting his shirt with a soft smile. "Markl, I hope you're ready. Sophie, you too."

Sophie donned a hat and joined Howl, asking, "Where are we going?"

Before he could finish his explanation, Markl interjected with a happy yell, "We're visiting Y/N!" The boy was ecstatic, jumping around in joy.

"Y/N? Who's that?" Asked the curious girl.

Markl was eager to explain, but the wizard interrupted him and clarified, "Y/N is my friend, but she works hard, so I don't visit her often."

"Y/N resides deep within the forest and despises it when the Master's castle intrudes upon her territory. She even sent a flock of birds after Master once," Markl exclaimed excitedly.

The wizard chuckled at the memory and confirmed, "That's precisely why we'll leave the castle here and walk to her. Enough chatter, let's go." He then opened the door, signaling for them to follow.

The forest was quiet, almost as if it was sleeping. Only sounds filling this air was the wind playing all over the place, ruffling the branches of trees and grass.

The day was warm and serene, the sun shining down through the thick canopy of trees.

As you strolled along the forest path, carrying a basket brimming with fruits and herbs, you hummed softly to yourself. Your tail swished behind you with each step, though your ears twitched uncomfortably in the light breeze that was tickling your fur.

As a wolf hybrid responsible for the welfare of the forest, life was far from easy, with days often unpredictable. And this day was about to prove no different.

After arriving home and putting away the basket, you let out a soft sigh and stretched, emitting a low growl. Suddenly, your ears perked up upon hearing someone approaching. It was rare for people to venture into the forest, let alone come so close to your hut. The visit was certainly suspicious.

As you made your way towards the source of the noise, you furrowed your brows and moved cautiously. Suddenly, a loud and joyful shout rang in your sensitive ears, startling you. However, you managed to catch the person who was running towards you. It turned out to be none other than Markl, a boy you knew. You couldn't help but laugh as he hugged you tightly.

"Y/N! I missed you!" He exclaimed.

You hugged him back, equally delighted to see him. "Oh, Markl! I missed you too! I am so glad to see you."

"Master Howl is here as well. Sophie stopped him to watch rabbits play!" The boy explained. "I am sure you will like her."

Your ears twitched as you listened to him. Now you were curious who Sophie was, but also you felt excited to see your friend again.

Just a few moments later, you saw him approaching; Howl didn't change much. He looked just as charming as always. You set the boy back on the ground and ran to greet him, practically jumping into his arms.

The young man effortlessly caught you and twirled you around, returning the hug with happiness. "Look at this! A wild forest beast has attacked us. How scary."

You couldn't help but laugh heartily at his jest. "Should I be scared that you came to my forest? At least you left that castle far away," you rolled your eyes and sighed. "It's great to see you again."

"Likewise, Y/N. I missed you, and I want you to meet someone," he set you down and gestured to Sophie with an open hand. "I would like to introduce you to my beloved Sophie. Sophie, this is my dear friend Y/N."

"Hello," the girl greeted you shyly with a wave of her palm.

You greeted Sophie and took a closer look at her while sniffing the air. She smelled sweet like a meadow full of flowers, making your ear twitch in interest. "It's nice to meet you Sophie! I'm glad he finally found someone decent. Come on, let's go inside. I'll make some herbal tea and cake," you said, leading the way with your tail swaying from side to side.

The whole visit was pleasant, allowing you to catch up with your friend and get to know Sophie better. She seemed like a kind and courageous girl, and you were starting to like her. However, a nagging worry lingered in the back of your mind: now that Howl had found his one true love, would he abandon your friendship for good? As you tried to put on a friendly demeanor, Howl was the only one who noticed your mood shift, indicated by your drooping tail.

When night overtook the whole forest, you offered for your guests to spend the night in your hut to spare them from wandering in the wilderness. After preparing their rooms, you excused yourself to take a nighttime stroll to ease your mind and check for any disturbances in the woods.

Unbeknownst to you, someone trailed behind you. Eventually, you arrived at a vast meadow beneath a sky filled with countless twinkling stars. They were so numerous that you could not even begin to count them, each one more beautiful than the last.

As you closed your eyes and enjoyed the peaceful moment, you suddenly felt weightless, as if you were floating. Your eyes flew open in surprise, and you let out a gasp.

"Taking your beautiful ears, I was hoping you would hear me. Let me help you," your hand was grasped by another, bigger palm while an arm wrapped around your waist, steding you in a position resembling a regular one. "I thought you'd like it."

Looking up, you saw Howl with a warm smile on his face.

"I do like it," you growled, slightly offended. "But next time, warn me before you do something like that!"

He only chuckled. "So? Will you dance with me? We haven't done this in a long time."

You nodded and let him lead the dance, since you felt a bit rusty and slightly uneasy. It was indeed a long time.

The fact that you didn't look at him even for a moment didn't escape his attention, at least he could tell you're relaxed. "I noticed that during our little hang out, your tail and ears dropped. Mind telling me what's wrong?"

Immediately, you looked up at him, your ears and tail visibly stiff as you blushed deeply. "I-It's nothing. Really."

"Is that so?" He hummed, spinning you around a little. Of course, you didn't convince him.

Letting out a deep sigh, you decided to finally tell him the truth. "Fine. There is something bothering me," he simply nodded, encouraging you to continue, so you did. "Sophie is a wonderful person, I can tell she is perfect for you, but... I am just worried that now you will forget about me completely."

Your feet suddenly touched the ground. "Sit down," was all he said, and you followed, taking a seat on the grass. He joined you soon, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

Howl asked, gently playing with your ear fur, "Y/N, you have been my friend for a long time. How could I ever forget about you? Look at the sky. How many stars are there?"

You looked up and nodded, gazing at the countless stars. "There are so many. Too many to count."

"And that's for how many years we will be friends. We will be friends forever."

You looked at him, blinking back tears. "Do you promise?"

Suddenly he pulled you closer, hugging you tightly with a soft laugh. "Of course I promise!”

Returning the laugh, you nodded, hugging him tightly. "I take that promise! And I promise to be your friend forever!"

You and Howl sat there, wrapped in each other's embrace, watching the stars in the sky. As the night wore on, you eventually went back to your hut to get some sleep.

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