#my continuous breaking of writers block via 5+1

[fandomtrash-whataboutit]

Finally another fairy tail fic is in the works mwahaha

[nilikhangdiwa]

2023 Fic Wrap Up!

following last year's post, i'm going to go through all of my fics for the year and talk about them a bit! again, um, mostly a3, but yeah!

1.

unbearable warmth

tasuhoma, master loves a mystery

this one was a comm for my lovely friend asra who really loves tasuhoma, so i wrote her a little thingy! there's nothing too much to say about it i think, but i struggled writing it because mlam isn't really my usual playverse. i think it turned out okay though!

- - -

2.

if the sky stops dancing

washisora, kuyuki, +3ghosts, first crush baseball, akiyama twins, canon-compliant (mostly), canon character death

this one was a comm for my friend mic, aka the ceo of washisora and my co-ceo of misuomi! i think i ruined a few lives with this one, not gonna lie. it's a little thing of hikaru and sora getting closer, and they're sooo cute. i've never done anything wrong in my life.

the comments in this are so funny if you check them out! and this fic was the reason for one of the next fics in this list.

- - -

3.

FUCK YEAH, THEY/THEM!

transfem banri, transfem nonbinary taichi, established relationship, fluff, silly

i took a break from destroying lives to write this silly fic. actually, i was in a pretty bad writer's block in the earlier part of the year, so this is one of the first fics after, like... rarepair week 2022 that isn't either a gift or a comm. i wrote this in the school library when i was supposed to be writing a paper, lmao.

it's a sequel to YOU GO, SHE/HER! which i wrote in 2021 and consider to be my magnum opus bantai fic. it's basically the same tags as this one.

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4.

i hope this little light reaches

washisora, kuyuki, +3ghosts, first crush baseball, akiyama twins, canon character death

after the first kuyuki fic, mic came to me like. an hour later with more terrible ideas. so, of course, i helped them make it happen! mic had the idea for the plot, so i just wrote it out into the world, and then this! and then i got sniped by my friends who came for my neck for both of the fics.

- - -

5.

modern talking, modern walking

bantai, transfem taichi, internet friends to irls to eventual lovers

okay, no more angst. only sillies. this fic was for a little server exchange for my friend max! we both love bantai and transfem taichi, so like. this was the natural progression of things, i think! there's not much to say, just that it's very silly and i like it very much.

- - -

6.

i wanted to be your tomorrow

homachika, non-explicit sex

please note the one and a half month gap between the last fic and this one because my god i was so tired from life. but then this roleplay thing happened, and i was playing homare, and my friend was playing chikage, and then... and then i brainrotted so hard. it was so bad. chikahoma was all i could think about for weeks.

there's so much backstory for the chikahoma that inspired this, but it does end in character death, so i'll warn for that real quick. homare confessed to chikage via poem (i am not good at poetry but i tried lol) and they got together and they just... they were so in love with each other and just wanted to protect each other. but it ended up that homare was dying, and as he's about to die, chikage promises that he'll continue writing poems in his stead. and i. and i shatter every time i think about that.

brb crying. anyway.

- - -

7.

elogium

hex & willis, patholosite

SNRK. NUMBER 7. okay. so patholosite is the oc universe of my friend, jas! and i'm very mentally unwell about it. patholosite ruined my life. 10/10 would recommend. it's basically about this doctor, hex, who has, like. seven million issues, the most pressing of which being his inferiority issues. and he's basically currently working under willis, who is a genius and is not helping hex's inferiority complex at all.

stuff happens. please ask please ask please ask. i need to inflict the world with patholosite.

- - -

8.

Lost and Found

samlil, devil's gambit

okay, so this one is a gift for my lovely girlfriend, quill! umm. she did not ask for it. she just randomly sent me money so i sent her this in retaliation.

for context again, me and some friends made a little fake theater troupe like a3, and we're all split into little subtroupes. so devil's gambit is the lead play of my oc/sona (lance, playing sammy) for the troupe, and quill's character (quill, playing lilith) is the colead!

so. um. yes. gay. also this is from before we got together so like. yeah. finger guns. sometimes the gay precedes the gay.

- - -

9.

Why do you, as a man, call another man your partner? Because you're gay?

misukazu & tsuzuru, queerplatonic relationships, established relationship, aromanticism

this one was for the pride month exchange on twt for my friend, link! she asked for a couple things, so i settled on this. it was really fun to write, since i, like kazunari in the fic, am aro, so i was like. hahaha, projection go brr.

(note. i did not have a girlfriend yet at this time. but i do now and i'm still aro. so like. um. the projection projected back at me.)

i was actually supposed to also write a second fic, since i managed to finish this one pretty early. a 5+1 fic about kazunari again, but then i didn't manage to finish it. maybe one day!

- - -

10.

we can be dyed in any color we want

sakuya & kazunari, mentioned bansaku, smoking, just bros hanging out!

this actually wasn't supposed to be the next fic. this fic takes place in the same universe as this, like. kazuchika/bansaku universe i have fluttering around my brain? kazuchika is not mentioned in this fic, but bansaku is. it's not necessarily an au, it's just... a thing.

anyway, so the next fic was supposed to be the main kazuchika fic. but then the main kazuchika fic was turning out too long and i wanted to post this fic. so i decided, hey, instead of posting the main one first and then this side fic, i'll just drop the side fic. i mean, it still makes sense!

so, yeah. this. hopefully, i'll be able to finish the main kazuchika fic this year. maybe.

- - -

11.

someday, i'll be falling without caution

chikatsumu

okay, this one is one i wrote for chikatsumu week, so i'll go through each of the entries. it's chikatsumu week, but the actual thing went on for about a month with 7 prompts. i didn't get to finish all of them, but it was slay!

day 1, first meeting. chikage meets tsumugi in act 5. i don't think there's too much to say about it, since it's pretty self explanatory, but i think they're silly. they should stare at each other and try to peel each other.

day 2, letter. a letter that tsumugi writes to chikage following some unspecified incident where chikage disappears. i wrote this with the intention of it being the same universe as this au i have where april becomes the next organization head, lua.

day 3, domestic. it's just chikage picking up tsumugi after rehearsal and they hold hands and talk and walk. i can write so much about people just doing the most mundane shit, i swear. i love writing mundane shit.

day 4, angel/demon. playverse fic, morimiche (moriarty and michael). this one was inspired by a roleplay me and my friend did a billion years ago. basically, moriarty wants to corrupt the angel and drag him to hell with him. which, like. i mean. i fuck with that. go moriarty go. moriarty is a meanie.

day 5 fic, i ended up putting it in a separate fic (next fic in this list) because it touches on some more sensitive topics.

- - -

12.

silver sulfadiazine

chikatsumu, attempted suicide

day 5, scars. so this one is an unofficial sequel to a fic i wrote on my alt, where basically chikage. y'know. this is the aftermath, and it's from chikage's pov, and he's kind of hazy in-and-out and doesn't quite know what's going on. it's unofficial because the actual fic didn't have any intentions of chikatsumu, but i figured it'd be a nice little what-if.

the original fic was titled freezerburn, and had a lot of themes of like warmth and coldness and such, so i carried that over here. so this one is titled silver sulfadiazine, which is used to treat burns.

i actually wrote this whole thing on a flight to visit my aunt, and then i posted it when i touched down at the airport. very fun.

- - -

13.

a collage of cicadas

tsumuguy, tasuguy

this one was for fuyu ship week, though regrettably i only finished two, because i was preoccupied with rarepair week that started days later. i was also really busy at the time, since i was fortunately able to take my latest term abroad, but that also meant i was packing my shit and running documents for weeks.

day 1, garden + growth. nothing too crazy, just cute tsumuguys! i love tsumuguy. i love guy ships, though there aren't very many, which makes me sad.

day 2, debut. no-mankai au where guy still has journey, and tasuku is still at godza. this is based off a tweet i saw once about this concept, so i just wrote a little something.

i actually had plans for the rest of the week! very briefly:

day 3, beach. tasuhiso. tasuku picks hisoka up from the beach at 3 in the morning.

day 4, passion. tsumuhoma. it was going to be just ages of homare waxing poetic about how much he loves tsumugi's passion for theater and gardening and life.

day 5, snow. azutsumu. they're drinking hot chocolate in the lounge in winter and azuma laments how the flowers tsumugi was tending to are dying because of the cold. tsumugi tells him that there are flowers, too, that bloom in the snow. like you, azuma-san!

day 6, home. azuguy. my note for this just says "guy: tadaima; azuma: okaeri". and like. that's all you need to know, really.

- - -

14.

i just want to hold you tight (i don't want to go back to that lonely life)

lantaru, past tonoita, self-shipping, knights of round iv, internalized homophobia, kind of a character study

HEY. YOU. DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THE LANTARU AGENDA. "what the fuck is lantaru?" you may ask. LANCELOT AND ITARU. listen. hear me out. okay. i just think that, as a child and a teen and even into adulthood, itaru yumes with lancelot. that's his lanchan. that's why his hair is bleached at the tips, so they matchy. that's his 2D anime british twink boyfriend.

the fic itself is a little bit of a love letter to self-shipping in general, and how it can help people get through some tough times. it kind of just explores itaru's relationship with lancelot as a character, and his relationship with the people around him, and just. idk. i like them. because, hey, listen. sometimes i can make out with hisoka in my head as a treat and it fixes me a bit. insert that post about being a little mentally unwell to get better.

i like lantaru a normal amount please hear me out on this.

- - -

15.

fool's errand

chikatsuzu, chikamerl, knights of round iv

rarepair week 2! um. listen. i blame my friends wholeheartedly for this. like several other fics, this was inspired by a roleplay between me and some of my friends. and like. god. i'm so mentally unwell. tl;dr is that merlin spent the entire time antagonizing everyone, but then he's becoming human and shedding his magicky dragon-y nature, and chikage, for some fucking reason, decides to be kind to him.

and my brain has never let go of it.

my god i hate them.

i love them please make out.

but yeah. i really like how this one turned out, actually! i like how merlin talks all fancy and old timey and chikage's like uhh ok lol. merlin refers to chikage solely as "chikage utsuki" in this fic, rather than "utsuki chikage" which is how i usually write it. this is because merlin is white. thank you.

- - -

16.

my universe is filled with you (more and more)

sakyoita, future, marriage, established relationship, moving

itaru and sakyo move into their house together! there's not much to say about this, i just really wanted to write an itasakyo fic for rarepair week. they're just really cute and shaped. this one was a little late i think, so all my rpw fics were a little late, but hey! that's fine.

- - -

17.

meet me where our scars collide

tasuchika, introspection, intimacy

i am obsessed with chikage and his scars. like. i swear. i just think about them randomly. it also goes a little into chikage's default flight response of just running away from the problem. i just think. i don't know, man. just... chikage's got so many issues, i think kissing men could fix him.

it's actually really funny because i posted this fic in august, and then like i got a dm in december from one of my friends just SHAKING ME. and i was like WHAT DID I DO. and she was like MEET ME WHERE OUR SCARS COLLIDE. THAT'S WHAT YOU DID. and i was like I POSTED THAT FOUR MONTHS AGO???

anyway, i really like how it turned out!

- - -

18.

despedida

citokazu, act 8, canon compliant

before rpw, someone in a server was like, hey, someone give me a rarepair for day 5 of rpw? i'm thinking citokazu, but idk... and i was like, YO CITOKAZU DAY 5 THAT'S LITERALLY MY PLAN TOO THAT'S CRAZY !! DO IT.

this fic is actually really timely beecause actually between the previous fic and this one was my flight to japan. so i literally had a despedida like when i was writing this. i really like citokazu, though i haven't talked about them a lot recently, so i wanted to write something for them for rpw!

- - -

19.

Venus

tsumuhiso, uriluci, urimiche, sympathy for the angel, stray devil blues, non-linear narrative

okay. so if you haven't seen me during the a3 play ship poll, i made this propaganda for uriluci/urimiche. the au that i mention there is the same one that this fic is inspired by. and i am so unwell about uriluci it's unreal. i adore them, they make each other worse.

the title is venus, because it's the morning star! morning star, morgenstern, is also associated with lucifer. so, yes. also in the end note of the fic, the numbers indicate which order the different fic sections actually go in chronologically.

- - -

20.

Ichor

augju (kind of), gekka, blood and violence, canon character death

this one was my fic for the gekka zine! (which, hey, if you haven't checked it out, you can find it on tumblr @/gekkazine!) it's just, you know, the usual augju bullshit.

july is a really interesting character to me, and more often than not i end up writing him? to the point that some people think of me as july oomf. which is. um. i don't know if that's a compliment, but sure, i'll take it! he's just really. somethimg. he sure is something.

- - -

21.

you are gold, you are home

chikaita, domestic fluff

a comm for cg! most of my chikaita are stuff for cg, tbh, and i'm not complaining! this one's just a short and sweet one about chikage waking up with itaru in his arms, and something about the vulnerability and gentleness of domestic life that he never thought he'd have for himself... yeah.

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22.

bunnies and red pandas

chikaita

this one was for chikaita week! i had a lot of fun writing for these, and i had previously committed to being chill and low stakes about it, so i didn't have a lot of trouble or stress about it. the title references, of course, their a7 (??? i think ???) animals.

day 1, late nights. chikage hasn't come home and itaru's so worried he throws his matches. chikage's his lucky charm! or actually he's just so worried that he can't focus. either way, they're cute.

day 2, playverse. gawafuta! gawain (kniroun) and futami (uraomote). i think... this is the first fic for them i've posted, though i know there are more on ao3. my and my friend ended up making this ship after (another) roleplay thing, and then just... i just think they're neat, i don't know. i have a lot of gawafuta thoughts. i think that futami's one of the best people to help gawain adjust to getting, like, reverse isekai'd, because of his job. like, yeah, the info gathering stuff, but moreso being a teacher. like, modern jp lit takes a lot of inspiration and cues from earlier parts of jp history and lit, so futami presumably knows quite a bit about history and society as well, and just. i think they're neat.

day 3, office life. this was kind of inspired by when i met my friend and he was telling me about how when he went to shinjuku there were just a bunch of salaryman sitting around on the sidewalks and shit drinking and smoking and i was like... yeah. and then this was born. there's a lot of things about itaru's reputation that he has to keep an eye on, i think... but chikage will help, don't worry! also chikage is super pining and in love in this.

fun fact, there's a deleted line in this where chikage says something like not entirely accurate because he wasn't born in japan and only started living here a few years ago, and itaru calls him a gaijin lmao. i took it out because i don't think itaru would do that but like it's funny to me.

day 4, domestic. "nuh uh" "fym nuh uh" is the reason i wrote this entire thing. i had this exchange with someone on twitter about how itaru just says silly things and i was like. you know what? yes. so i just make itaru say silly things in this one.

day 5, plushies. after writing this, the world plushie didn't even look like a word anymore. and i'm just really obsessed with the mental image of itaru turning all of his plushies away so they don't see him and chikage doing the nasty. there's also references to the extended kniroun lore there (runa) which i am happy to talk about at great length always anytime.

- - -

23.

Oversized

samlil, devil's gambit

same deal as lost and found. although, okay, we were actually already together at this point. she, like... randomly sent me money again. i think because i didn't have enough in my paypal to resubscribe to dropout, so i was like haha is anyone willing to commission me real quick. and then she just sent me money. so i wrote this because i wasn't going to take no for an answer. also i had major samlil brainrot, since i had a manga studio art class where we had to make our own manga, and i was like. okay! great! (makes devil's gambit manga) (does not sleep for three weeks)

- - -

24.

Hunter's Mark

azusakyo, nocturnality extended universe

this one was a gift for soda for a little server exchange! they didn't ask for much, so i was like... hm... what's the last thing you said about azusakyo... and then saw vampires and went, PERFECT. I ALREADY HAVE A SAKYO VARIANT FOR NOCT. although he ended up a little different from how i'd originally made him, but i think this works!

the faust backstory is that he's a vampire who's also the head of vampire hunters. why is he hunting other vampires? who knows. he and franz have a history. also, despite being a vampire, he can interact with holy objects and things. he literally trained himself to do that and not to react when it burns. he's crazy, lol. that part i think was inspired by raphael from the mortal instruments. i'm a little unnormal about raphael santiago, but don't worry about it.

the summary of the fic is an excerpt from goethe's dr. faust, who faust is, y'know, name for. he did this bargain with a vampire a long time ago for something. haven't decided what exactly, but something along those lines.

also, fun fact! in my current noct universe, faust's heir is akito, played by azami.

- - -

25.

Shaped Like Halloween

kazunari & chikage, halloween, liberal use of the word "slutty"

this one was for a halloween exchange in a server! for. um. my girlfriend. IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY FUNNY. the previous fic, the azusakyo fic, it's for a different friend. but initially, the giftee i had received was also my girlfriend. so i asked if it was okay to switch with someone else since i figured she might like to receive fics from people who are, you know, not just me. AND THEN I FUCKING LEARNED THAT BOTH THE GIFT EXCHANGES IN DIFFERENT SERVERS JUST RANDOMIZED THE GIFTEES. SO I RANDOMLY RECEIVED QUILL'S NAME TWICE BECAUSE THE POWER OF GAY OR SOME SHIT??? IDK.

anyway, it's sillies! kazu and chikage. i'm pretty sure that when we'd filled out the forms to join the exchange, we hadn't gotten together yet? and she had something written down like, kazu and chikage, i've been thinking about them recently. and like. i kin kazu, she kins chikage. i know what you are (gay).

- - -

26.

Starburst Tea

bansaku, first meeting, no mankai

for being my favorite a3 ship, you'd think that i'd have more bansaku fics. but, hey, at least i have this one! i also posted this around the time of the bansaku cg, so i was literally losing my mind.

this is based off an actual place i went to while wandering around. me and some irls found this cool little tea shop the city. it was really cozy, and there was an actual wall of tea with different blends. i got carnival! it was good tea. the owner asked my friend if he would be willing to help paint a mural on the side of his tea shop with some other japanese people, so that was slay and fun. there was a fire, we made smores! the owner also has a little wood soldering set, and he let my irl draw his face on the wooden counter. it's really nice. anyway, in universe, my irl is kazu, he just does shit for banri.

- - -

27.

(if) we are meant to be

mukuyuki, soulmate au

last fic of the year! this one was for the secret santa on twt for my friend, aud! admittedly, i don't have a lot of practice writing youngestgumi, but i think it turned out well! i wrote this on the plane ride back home, actually, so it feels like a really nice close for the year.

i'm super normal about soulmate aus, by the way. i have a billion fluttering around my mind at any given point in time.

- - -

thanks for sticking with me this year! hope to write a bajillion more fics again next year~ i actually have one coming up soon for a server secret santa, so look out for that one! >wa)b

[lycorogue]

Latest Story: Is He Loved? Is He Happy?

Holy crow! It’s been *checks notes* about HALF A YEAR since I last published anything!?! Ah, writer’s block is such a glorious thing /s

In which case, I’d really like to thank this dumb, stupid, annoying show (affectionate) for always granting me inspiration to help drag my ass back into writing. Aside from the obviously ominous ending, “Transmission” was actually a fairly happy-ended episode.

So, naturally, I had to throw a bunch of angst and Love Square shenanigans at the damn thing!

Summary: Marinette seemingly has everything she’s ever wanted. She’s again a normal girl with a normal life, and she has Adrien. However, the fact that Chat Noir - HER Chat Noir - wasn’t at the latest akuma attack is all she can think about. She never dreamed that she would lose him so entirely, and now she’s haunted by two major questions: Is he loved? Is he happy?

Rating: Everyone

Word Count: 3552

Status: completed one-shot

**SPOILER ALERT: This story is based on the season 5 episode  "Transmission (The Kwamis' Choice - Part 1)"**

Continue reading below, or find this story over on AO3, on FFN, or on DA.

Is He Loved? Is He Happy?

Marinette snuggled into Adrien. The smell of his cologne, the warmth of his body, the movement of his chest as he breathed, the weight of his arm around her shoulders, the delicate way his fingers brushed against her elbow; it was all more comforting than she could imagine. The rest of the world could fall away, and she'd be content in that exact spot.

The rest of the world was Alya's problem now. Marinette hated passing the burden over to her, but she always knew Alya would make a fantastic Ladybug. She was glad Tikki thought so too. Plus, this would mean that she could still see Tikki on occasion, and she would be able to support the new Ladybug. Alya had also worn the mantle before, as well as been a superhero before that. She had her own brand of training, and she deserved the honor of being Ladybug now.

Alya also worked well with Chat Noir; as Scarabella, Rena Rouge, and even as her civilian self. They'd be a great pair, and she would make sure he still had a caring friend.

Chat Noir.

Marinette had no clue why he wasn't there to fight against Bibou, and it worried her a little. The female Chat Noir that took his place was amazing, and seemed to be on the same page as Scarabella; Marinette was grateful for that. However, it still concerned her that he wasn't there.

The last time she saw him he seemed to be alright. Sure, their hearts were broken, but they had shared a giggle and his voice seemed chipper enough. Then again, she was the one who giggled, and she was sure her voice sounded chipper as well. Yet, she then spent the next day wallowing in bed. What if the same was true about him? What if she had broken him again, but as Marinette this time instead of Ladybug? He felt so guilty about her nearly becoming akumatized, and about their kiss.

Marinette's eyes sprung open. What was she doing? She had kissed Chat Noir only two nights ago, and now she's dating Adrien? She shoved herself off of Adrien's chest.

"Marinette? Are you okay?" Adrien's voice was so gentle and warm. He had no clue how much more it hurt Marinette.

Eyes welling up, she shook her head no.

What if the new Chat Noir wasn't temporary, like when Alya first became Scarabella? Or when she was Chat Noir because she couldn't find or otherwise wear her earrings? What if this was like Catwalker? Did Marinette break Chat Noir to the point that he gave up his ring again? Her heartbreak over Chat Noir was so bad Tikki took back the earrings. What if Plagg had done the same thing, and couldn't find whomever Catwalker was in time to fight Bibou? What if, when she said goodbye to Chat Noir two nights ago, that was literally the last time she'd ever see him? She had some comfort in knowing she could still watch him via news reports, but now?

Standing up, Marinette retreated from Adrien, still shaking her head and clenching her chest to stop herself from crying.

"Marinette? Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me about something?"

She sobbed and whipped her head side to side, violently telling him no.

"What happened? Please tell me. I want to help you."

"You can't," she squeaked.

"I'm sorry. I went too fast. I shouldn't have-"

"You did nothing wrong." Marinette choked down her sobs, but the tears finally spilled down her cheeks.

Adrien's face scrunched in concern and confusion. "I don't understand."

"I'm the one who is wrong. I'm sorry, Adrien. I'm so, so sorry."

"About what? What did you do? I don't get it."

Marinette quickly wiped her tears away and tried again to swallow the knot in her throat. "I shouldn't be with you."

"Why not? Do you not love me?"

Marinette flinched. "It's-" She took a deep breath to steady her voice, and let it back out in a shaky sigh. "Complicated."

"I'm surprisingly good with 'complicated', actually." Adrien gave her a sad little smile. "We don't have to do this though if you don't want to."

"No! No, I-"

Adrien gathered up his things and headed towards Marinette's bedroom door. "It's okay. I promise. I never wanted to push you into anything. Like I said before, I'm your friend before anything else. So, I'm here for you if you want to talk, but you don't have to. I just want you to be happy. That's all."

"Adrien."

"I'll see you in school tomorrow, Marinette."

"Adrien, wait!" She charged for him and grabbed his wrist.

He stared at it, then at her. Blushing, she released him and took a step back.

"I-" She couldn't look at him. She tucked her arms against her chest, and she looked past her shoulder. "I have wanted this – you and me – for a long time. A very long time. You do make me happy." She ventured a glance his way, and almost instantly melted at the soft look he gave her. He was always so delicate with her. Ironically, it nearly broke her that moment.

He said nothing. He didn't push. He didn't dismiss. He didn't pry. He waited patiently to see if there was more she wanted to tell him. And there was. There was so much more.

"There's someone else," she blurted. She hated this. She had already broken Chat Noir's heart so many times because she was in love with Adrien, and now she had to do the same to Adrien because she was in love with Chat Noir? She was cursed! She had to be!

"Someone-?"

"I told you. It's complicated! It will never work with him. He said so himself. I need to give him up, and I'm trying. I really am. I just-" She let out another shaky sigh. "And now you're in love with me? All these months and when I- with someone else- and now you-?" She let out a guttural yell.

Adrien was frozen at her bedroom door. Despite everything she had told him, he still gave her that same soft look with that gentle smile and heart-eyes. The look that Marinette now knew meant, "I love you so much."

"I told you I make a mess of things! I'm a walking disaster! Especially around you! I'm cursed! I warned you that I'm not allowed to be in love! No one is allowed to love me! I can't!" She dropped to her knees and buried her face.

"Hey!" Adrien dropped to the floor in front of her. "No. You need to stop. You do deserve love. Everyone does, but especially you. All you do is show your love for everyone else."

"I didn't show you."

"Hmm?"

"Months. I've felt- I was- Even now, I can't even say it! But I've felt it. I've felt it so much! And every time I tried to tell you it ended in disaster! So I tried to hide it. Because of my feelings, I was never a good friend to you."

"You're wrong!" Adrien's conviction startled Marinette into looking at him. "You and Nino have both been the best friends I could have ever asked for! You've done so much for me. More than I think I could ever tell you, actually. Whenever I've lost hope, you've always been a light for me to find it again."

"I-I have?"

"Mmhmm." He held out his hand and waited. Cautiously, Marinette rested her hand on top of his. He instantly closed his fingers around hers and gingerly massaged her knuckles with his thumb. "You are not a disaster. Things aren't as bad as you think they are. You may not be able to tell me you love me, for whatever reason, but you have shown it. I have felt loved and seen every time I'm around you."

"Adrien."

"I'm sorry this other guy hurt you by telling you that you two can't be together, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve love."

"I shouldn't have put this on you. It's not fair. I never wanted to hurt you too. I'm sorry." Marinette pulled her hand out of Adrien's and scooted away from him.

"You didn't hurt me."

"But-"

Adrien shook his head. "You confided in me. You trusted me enough to tell me. That means a lot to me, Marinette. I also get it now. Knowing why you are acting the way you are hurts me way less than wondering. So, thank you."

"I do want us to be together."

"I do too."

"But-"

"The other guy?"

Marinette nodded. "I'm sorry. I just- Alya tried to warn me that it would end in disaster. I'm just worried about him now. It's not right that I'm with you while worrying about him."

"Didn't he turn you away?"

"He did. Sorta. That's also a bit complicated."

"Even after that, you’re still worried about him?"

She nodded. "There was something preventing him from being with me. He seemed just as hurt that we couldn't be together and-" She looked up at Adrien. "And why am I telling you all of this? You don't want to hear about me and some other guy! What am I doing?"

"No, no. Please. I want to know this."

"No, you-"

"I promise I do. Adrien 'friend first' Agreste-" He pointed to himself. "Remember?"

Marinette looked towards her circular window. It was open, showing off the Notre-Dame. Standing, she walked over to the window, gazing wistfully out of it. She glanced back towards Adrien, who gave her a nod. She turned back to the window.

"When he told me goodbye that night, it almost seemed hopeful. But now? I don't think I'll ever get a chance to see him again." Marinette's voice cracked, so she cleared her throat. "I guess it's for the best. He and Alya were right. It wasn't a good idea for me to be with him. If I never see him again, maybe I can close that chapter and move on." She looked back over to Adrien, who was standing on the other side of her chaise lounge. "But I never really got closure. I'll never know if he's alright. If he's in pain. If he has friends that can be there for him. If he realizes that he's so deeply loved." She stole another quick glance in the direction she last saw Chat Noir, and sent as many good, loving vibes she could muster towards that part of Paris. Hoping he'd receive them.

"If he knows that Marinette Dupain-Cheng loves him, then he knows he's deeply loved."

Marinette laughed at the irony of Adrien's statement.

"That's the reason we couldn't be together. He didn't believe I was truly in love with him. He thought I was misreading my feelings for him. I mean, I'm here with you just over a day after he broke my heart, so I guess he might have been right." Facing her window again, Marinette plopped down on her chaise. "It sure felt like love though. I'd do anything to protect him. To see him smile. To hear him laugh. The times I could see him became the best parts of my day. He could make me laugh like no one else could. I always felt so safe around him. I was a better version of myself with him."

Adrien sat on the other side of the chaise, facing the opposite direction. "That's how I feel about you."

Marinette turned towards him with a start. Adrien played with the base of his right ring finger as he stared at his hands.

"For what it’s worth, I love the version of you that you are now. I can’t imagine a ‘better version’. I'd do anything for you, just as you are, Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

She took his right hand in hers and squeezed it. "That was my problem. I thought I'd also do anything for you, Adrien, but every attempt ended in disaster. And I'm causing one more by holding onto this flame for someone else."

"Yet again, you're wrong, Marinette. This isn't a disaster. Not for me." He squeezed her hand back. "You said this recently happened, right? Him breaking your heart? You need time to heal. I get that. I can wait. It still means the world to me that you could tell me all of this."

Adrien stood up, Marinette's hand still in his. As she twisted around to keep eye contact with him, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Everything will be alright. We can take things slow. We don't have to be together. I just need to know that you know I'm here for you. That there are so many people here for you." He knelt down to be at eye level with her again. "You are never alone. You can come to me for anything. You can tell me anything. I won't judge you. Can you trust me on that?"

Marinette nodded. "Thank you."

"I'll see you tomorrow then?"

Marinette nodded again.

Adrien gave another sad little smile and shook his head. "That other guy doesn't deserve so much of your love, but he's sure lucky he has it."

Shocked, Marinette bit back, "The other guy deserves more than my love, and I hope he finds it."

With a cockeyed grin, Adrien shook his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Adrien, no. I-"

He held up a hand to stop her. "I'm fine. As long as you're okay, I'll be too."

"I did like what we had the past couple of days. It truly was all I ever wanted. I just-"

"Need to sort things out?"

Marinette nodded.

"I have you as my friend. That's all I need in life. All the rest is-" He looked dreamily at her, "an amazing bonus."

Marinette blushed as she looked away.

"I'll catch you tomorrow, Marinette."

"See you tomorrow." She gave him a sweet smile that she hoped conveyed how much she truly did love him, even if she couldn't say so yet. It was all still too much.

* * *

The next day, they were fairly low-key. They were still always beside each other whenever possible, and gave sweet looks to each other, but they didn't hold hands like they had the day before. Marinette didn't lean her head on his shoulder. Adrien didn't try to pass her love notes. The duo tried to ignore the confused looks from their classmates.

"What on earth happened?" Alya chased after Marinette as she headed home.

"What do you mean?"

"You and Adrien! You were finally together, weren't you?" She pulled Marinette close so she could whisper in her ear. "Wasn't that why Tikki brought the earrings to me?"

"I never asked Tikki to give them to you."

"I know that."

"And you know I'm here for you if you need me to. I can teach you all that I learned and-"

"Yeah, I know. I know. You sent me that long list the first time, remember? That's not the point! I thought you were giving up being you-know-who so you and Adrien could finally be together. What gives?"

"It's complicated."

"And why do I have my own Chat Noir?"

Marinette flinched, then stepped away from Alya. "I don't know. You'll have to ask Tikki or Plagg about that."

"Wait. Is the complication Chat Noir?"

Marinette walked faster.

"Hey! Wait!" Alya chased after Marinette, greeting Tom and Sabine as she followed her best friend up to her bedroom.

"Alya, please."

Alya closed Marinette's bedroom door and whipped around. "You really did love him, didn't you?"

"Alya."

"So, now that Adrien is in love with you- Chat Noir really is the complication, huh?"

Marinette flopped onto her chaise and stared at her ceiling. "I have no clue what to do! And I can't even have you check in on him to make sure he's alright because there's this new Chat Noir for some reason! Tikki! Why is there another Chat Noir?"

Tikki slowly drifted out of Alya's belt pouch. "I'm sorry, Marinette. I can't fully say. I can only tell you that Plagg thought it was for his own good. The burden was weighing on Chat Noir just as much as it was on you. We thought it was time to pass the torch to a new team."

"Was I the burden? Am I why he gave it up?"

"No, Marinette! It was for a lot of reasons, just like with you. It was so he could live a normal civilian life."

"And then I took that life from Alya."

"No way!" Alya pulled Marinette off her chaise. "Tikki asked, and I said yes because I knew it would help you out. And I have fun being a superhero. Plus, I knew I would have the world's best backup!"

"But-"

"I'm good." Alya pulled Marinette into a hug.

"Do you know if Chat Noir's okay then? Where he is?"

"Sorry, girl. Tikki can't tell me, and I don't know where Plagg is to ask him."

"I can tell you that he's doing well," Tikki added. "Plagg and I talked it over when we chose our new holders."

"Is he loved? Is he happy? Does he have support? Does he have his friends? Is he laughing? Smiling?"

Tikki shook her head. "I can't say any more. You don't have to worry about him, though. He's okay. He's loved."

Marinette deflated a touch; tension releasing her. "That's good."

"Come here." Alya pulled Marinette in for another hug, and Tikki joined in. It was only a little more than a day, but Marinette already missed Tikki's hugs.

"Okay, but, for real, did you get a chance to watch me work as Scarabella this time? How'd I do?"

Marinette chuckled. The three of them talked about Scarabella and the new female Chat Noir. Marinette gave Alya some more tips. Alya talked about her concerns with keeping Scarabella secret from Nino, and Marinette reminded Alya how she believed she had kept Rena Rouge secret from her best friend. They talked for hours until Sabine called up that dinner was ready. Alya graciously declined the offer to stay and eat, and pulled Marinette in for one last hug before heading out the door.

Marinette was pretty sure she felt Tikki's arms secretly wrap against her hip in one last hug as well.

* * *

As Marinette climbed into bed, she stared through her skylight and thought of Chat Noir. He knew who she was. He knew where she lived. He was now free of being a superhero as well. He was free to love her back, if only he knew that she truly did know and love him. He could come to her. If he really wanted to, that is.

As much as Marinette hated it, the ball was in his court. There was no way for her to find him again now. She'd give him two weeks. If he didn't come to her by then, she'd give him up and hope that Adrien would still want to be with her.

She groaned in frustration because even that plan wouldn't work. Even if he did want to be with her and remembered where she lived, it wasn't like he could simply come up to her and say, "Hello. I was Chat Noir. We kissed by the Statue of Liberty on Île aux Cygnes." How could they ever be together now?

"I've lost him. I truly lost him." She sobbed into her pillow. All those times he wanted them to tell each other who they were, and she denied him. Grand-Master Su-Han wanted her to know who Chat Noir was, and she defied him. She had so many chances to know who he was so she could now track him down and be with him, and she gave them up.

And now she didn't even have Tikki.

She brushed her ears. Feeling her empty ear lobes had become a new tick of hers since she gave up being Ladybug. Being a superhero was too much, but not being one was starting to feel heavier.

"This means you can be in love with Adrien."

Tikki's voice rang in her head. The reason the burden of Ladybug was taken off of her shoulders was, among other things, to free her so she could love. She was wasting Tikki's and Alya's gifts to her by wallowing over Chat Noir.

"You don't have to worry about him, though. He's okay. He's loved."

"Good." Marinette wiped her eyes and scooped up her phone. She had kissed Chat Noir three times. Once to save him from Dark Cupid. Once when she couldn't remember. Once as Marinette. She'd have to treasure that last one as her farewell kiss as well.

The phone only rang twice before it was picked up.

"Adrien? Hi. I- I was wondering when you'd be free to go see a movie together."

Marinette had already known heartbreak, but now she also knew the pain of missed opportunities. She was given the gift to love freely, and she wasn't going to waste it. Her heart would always have a spot for Chat Noir in it, but it was time to re-open the part once filled by Adrien.

.

**A/N: I have no clue where this story came from. I just know that, while watching the episode, I was confused as to why NO ONE commented on there being a new Ladybug AND a new Chat Noir (aside from Adrien mentioning something in passing). I then had this little, teeny-tiny scene in my head of Marinette confessing to Adrien that her “first kiss” was actually with Chat Noir (a scene that never actually made it to this version). The rest of this angst just exploded from there. I also wasn’t intending on having the scene with Alya or that closing scene of Marinette calling Adrien to set up a date, but the characters all decide to do their own things, and all I can do is follow where they lead me. 🤷‍♀️ Originally, I was going to have Adrien leave Marinette a note as Chat Noir to explain that he’s okay and that she should move on, but I couldn’t figure out how he would get the note to her without some long, convoluted thing which involved Alya anyway. So... just go to the source and ask Tikki. Right? Besides, the plan I had Adrien come up with would have required days/a week to set up. Considering Gabriel seemingly figured out who Scarabella and Kitty Noire are, I doubted Adrienette had that long before getting their respective Miraculous back. Anyway, thank you so much for reading! Love ya! 💖

**Please let me know if you want me to tag you on any of my writing updates**

@discoveringmiraculouswriters

[islenthatur]

So first time doing one of these, thanks @dreamofbecoming

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

Top 5 works:

1. Mark of a Lark - this is one of the first things I began to write for this fandom properly. I had others and OS’s but Mark of a Lark was my first proper foray into Geraskier. 2. Cygnet - this one was written under my other Penname, a twi/witcher fic... it bugged my brain so it was written! 3. A Leshen's Roar - Looki, okay.. this started off as a little tumblr ficlet and people were keen so i wrote this... who doesn’t love Leshen!Jaskier 4. Mark of a Lullaby - So this... who doesn’t love a haunting song. 5. Wylfen Herte- something different, Witcher!Jaskier... tried to go with mysterious and mystical but ended up with this.

Top 4 current wips:

1.     Mark of a Viper need to be finished, gah but writers block and so many other rabid plot bunnies are attacking me.

2.     Mark of a Witcher is in the works, I’ve written and re-written the first chapter so many times as to how it’ll go. Will it be like Mark of a Lark where Jaskier gifts his Witchers things or will it be a Witcher who gifts Jaskier a token of thanks? Who knows!?

3.     Unknown Title: I have a gift exchange that needs to be written but Gerskier is taking over my life.

4.     To be Titled: Thanks to @bamf-jaskier I have a Angst filled Witcher!Jask in blood origins. Same concept, where Jaskier gets sent back in time via singing the song of the Seven, the power to recreate them backfiring and instead of Fjall its Jaskier who turns except he’s more controlled and such. The Seven trains him after everything and the power Jaskier needs to be sent back is gone… he lives forwards, never aging and always longing for Geralt.

Top 3 biggest improvements:

1.     Honestly I don’t really have 3, just the one where I actually got stories out in over a year.

Top 2 resolutions:

1.     *shakes self* FINISH YOUR FICS!

2.     DON’T WRITE MOREEEE!

Top 1 favourite line:

I have way too many… but I guess this can count as one: Vesemir’s Chapter in Mark of a Lark -  "Tell me, Julian, what would it be then? I have heard your songs sung far and wide, and have seen them change the minds of many a being. You may be cursed to be a human, but you still walk the Path, you face the stonings and the prejudices of man, yet you continue on." The old man explained. "I know the type of man you are, a good one, a brave one. You took what happened to you with a grace that would break any other man on the spot."

 Okay lets tag some @spilledbutter @0dde11eth @penandinkprincess

[musecraft]

🪐 — # 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐓 : an indie multimuse featuring canon & original characters from a myriad of fictional worlds. as written by 𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲. this blog is private, iconless, selective, low-activity, plot-heavy.  please read rules before following !

* note : this blog is on semi-hiatus until 04/25 !

● 1. 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐃 )  ● 2.  𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 )  ● 3.  𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 ) ● 4.  𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒 )

closely affiliated with — @immobiliter + @mysfated + @lorelodge + @walkpathe + @polarnoid

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●  this blog is iconless, but my partners are welcome to use icons if they wish.

●  i consider this blog to be LOW ACTIVITY. i'm a pretty slow writer. while respectful reminders are welcome, please do not rush me me for replies. likewise, there is no time limit on my interactions,  &  memes never expire. please take all the time you need !  i will never rush you for a response.

●  if you send a meme, please specify the muse that it is intended for. all meme responses will be formatted as starters on this blog. please continue them, if you would like !

●  nsfw  &  potentially triggering content may appear on this blog, but will always be tagged. i will use the dash method when tagging. ie: drug use /

●  i love a good ship. however, shipping with me requires plotting, & will be contingent on the presence of IC + OOC CHEMISTRY. please do not try to ship with my muses without discussing it with me first.

●  i maintain a very strict ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY for ooc drama. i won't put drama on your dash, so please don't put it on mine. remember, unfollowing is free ! ●   this post uses this banner template. all graphics on this blog were made by me, most using this psd. the audio in this post is new world coming (darDARK remix).

●  out of character, i go by rosemary, but will also accept rosie or just ro.  they/she  pronouns, please !  i have been a member of the tumblr rpc on-and-off since 2013,  &  am now in my late 20s. i am located in the EST (-5) timezone. mutuals are welcome to ask for my discord !

[t0ngue-tech]

Deadline | Six

“You retreated further into your seat but this only prompted Jungkook to only get closer.

‘Jungkook, I understand that y/n is your girlfriend, but can you please keep the flirting outside of my classroom?’ Your history teacher called out from his desk.

‘Sorry, teach! Couldn’t help it.’ Jungkook replied with ease.

A few of the students snickered and you easily recognized Jennie’s.

‘That was fun.’ He whispered.

↠fluff, highschoolAU, fake relationship AU↞

word count: 4.7k

↠series: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ↞

A/N: HELLO EVERYONE IN QUARANTINE! it has been about two months since i last uploaded anything. i actually started writing two things but i got writer’s block from both of them so i decided to continue deadline and BAM i couldn’t stop writing lol. i hope you all enjoy this chapter huhuhuhu. stay safe everyone!

-

-

-

It had been a long and tiring week since Jungkook came over and you both were busy as ever. You promised the math team that you would attend more meetings, which you were now doing, and you had piles of homework on top of tutoring Jimin, Taehyung, and occasionally Jennie.

Jungkook, on the other hand, was doing his best to do better in all of his classes. Plus, he had been extra tired lately due to his training in the evening. He would usually take you home after school, but he was now heading home to do some homework and nap before training while you had your own after school activities.

You soon came to realize that the last time you got to properly hang out with Jungkook was when he came over to your house.

After Jungkook left, you found the confidence to truly call him a friend. He thanked you for breaking out of your comfort zone for the sake of his own selfishness and you became aware of how caring and mindful he was. 

Fake relationship aside, Jungkook was a great friend and as friends, you missed hanging out with him on a daily basis. Sure, you saw him on campus and he was in your third period, but because you had things to do after school, you drove yourself to school for the past week. It couldn’t be helped.

“So, as a girlfriend, don’t you miss spending time with him?”

Your eyebrow twitched and it felt like you could snap your pen into two.

Jennie accompanied you to a coffee shop after school while she waited to pick up her sister from dance practice. You had your laptop open and a notebook laid out in front of you while Jennie had her textbook that remained untouched for the past hour and a half.

“Ugh, Jennie.” You groaned.

“Come on, y/n. It’s just a question. You even said it yourself, it’s been a while since you hung out with Jungkook.” Jennie took a long sip from her drink and fiddled with the zipper of your pencil case.

“Alright, if I was his actual girlfriend, of course I’d miss him. But we’re just friends with an unusual contract so it’s fine.” You explained.

“Just ask him to hang out with you! Friends are allowed to do that.”

“Jennie Kim. Just drop the subject and open your textbook, you said you’d at least try to study.” You reached over and tapped her closed book with your pen. “Plus, we’re both busy these days, so really, it’s fine.” 

Jennie did have a point. Asking Jungkook to hang out with you as a friend shouldn’t be a problem however, it felt like you would be overstepping your boundaries.

An hour flew by of Jennie complaining, studying for five minutes and taking a fifteen minute break. She may not always be the best study buddy, but she was your favorite companion. Eventually she had to take her leave, leaving you in a cold coffee shop with much regret because you left your earphones at home.

I guess I’ll just stay for a while.

Your phone buzzed in your lap.

[4:12] jungkookie♡: How about now? Is it correct?

While studying with Jennie, you were going over Jungkook’s book report corrections via text message. Attached to his text was a photo of a newly put together paragraph with less grammatical errors.

[4:15] You: you can replace one of your commas with a semicolon. guess whereeeeee

[4:17] jungkookie♡: Alaslskslsks hint pls

You chuckled thinking about how Jungkook probably didn’t even try to look for the comma replacement on his own. Before sending him a sarcastic hint, you stared at his contact name.

It was agreed that you were both going to change each other’s contact name to something more couple-esque just in case someone happened to see their texts. The heart beside his name was something you were still getting used to.

“Y/n?”

You looked up from your phone, already recognizing the voice, and forced your face muscles to stop from frowning.

“Hm?”

Sehun stood in front of your table dressed in his varsity jacket over a white t-shirt, sweats, and his wallet and phone in one hand. The tips of his bangs were plastered against his forehead, probably sweaty after working out; you were familiar with the sight.

“Uh, um, may I sit?” He asked nervously.

You pondered over your answer and replied quietly, “sure.”

He sat down and tapped his fingers against the side of the table. You paid no mind to Sehun and continued to work on your math packet. He barely said a word for five minutes which only made you uncomfortable considering he was your ex-boyfriend and you were currently in a “relationship.”

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Sehun finally questioned.

You hummed, not even batting him an eye. 

“I heard something from Jongin today and he said that Jungkook is using you.”

This statement immediately broke your concentration. You scrunched your eyebrows together, giving Sehun a what the fuck type of look.

“And why the hell did he tell you that?” You were irritated. Sehun was poking around in your business and even if you had the intention of making him jealous, using the words “using you” was a bit much.

“I—I don’t know. He heard it from Jeongyeon and Mina. They were talking about it and Jongin just passed it along to me.” Sehun brought his hands down to his lap and averted his eyes.

“So, basically, the cheerleaders were talking about this?” You waited until he nodded. “For your information, Sehun, Jungkook isn’t using me.”

“And how do you know that?” He answered rather quickly.

There was no way you could tell Sehun that you were in a fake relationship with Jungkook and it frustrated you because you knew for sure that he wasn’t using you without consent.

“Why do you even care? My relationship with Jungkook doesn’t concern you.” You had to tone down with the annoyance in your voice before it attracted any attention from other bystanders.

“I—Well,” Sehun gnawed at his bottom lip. “Jungkook and Chaeyoung broke up months ago and maybe he’s just using you to get over her. Maybe he still loves her.”

Maybe. Maybe he was right. Who knows? Jungkook could possibly still love her deep, deep, deep down and was having trouble getting over her. But you remembered that he only misses the good times, that was it.

You let out a rough sigh and rubbed the spot in between your eyebrows.

“Are you having trouble getting over me?” Sehun asked boldly.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You quipped.

“We also only broke up months ago. After a year of being together, you really have no feelings for me anymore?”

Your jaw dropped a little. Was he serious?

“Well, if you put it that way, since you’re so concerned about Jungkook and I, do you still have feelings for me? Oh, but you did break up with me because you lost feelings.” You held your eye contact with him and waited for an answer. Despite how strong your retort was, your heartbeat was working overtime. You were grateful to be sitting down because if you were standing, you would probably wobble down onto the floor from being so nervous.

“I—”

“Huh, if it isn’t my two favorite people, y/n and Sehun.”

You snapped your attention to Jungkook who had remarkable timing. You were so engrossed in your heated conversation with Sehun that you didn’t even notice Jungkook walk in.

Startled, Sehun harshly stood up from the chair, slightly bumping into Jungkook.

“I was just leaving.” Sehun mumbled and escaped towards the register of the coffee shop.

Jungkook was dressed in an all black tracksuit and had his duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He pulled back the seat and sat down with a cheeky smile on his face.

“Hi.” He proudly greeted you.

“What brings you here?” You moved around some of your supplies to make room for Jungkook’s laptop and the printed copy of his book report.

“First of all, you didn’t reply to my text when I asked for a hint and you mentioned that you were at this coffee shop so I decided to drop by for you to check out my paper face to face.” He answered.

You took the book report and flipped it over page by page. “Mhm, and secondly?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I guess we just haven’t seen each other much besides in school. I figured you were probably suffocating from missing me too much—hey, ah!” You cut him off by reaching over to playfully smack him a couple of times with his report. 

“On a serious note though,” he continued. “We really haven’t seen each other that much. Sorry about that.”

You smiled softly. “Hey, it’s not your fault. We’re both busy.”

Jungkook returned the smile and tapped away at his keyboard. “So, what kind of bullshit was Sehun saying this time?” Jungkook turned his body and captured the sight of Sehun finally leaving the coffee shop.

You blew out a breath of air not wanting to remember the frustrating conversation you had with Sehun. Since it was about your relationship, Jungkook had to know.

You explained to him that the cheerleaders stirred up the idea of Jungkook using you to get over Chaeyoung. It was pretty obvious that Chaeyoung was the starting point of that piece of information. He reacted just as you did, irritation seeping out of every pore. You then added the part where Sehun mentioned that Jungkook probably still loved Chaeyoung.

“Geez…” Jungkook hissed. “With the way she’s behaving, it’s making me feel more relieved that I broke it off with her. Even if we’re not together anymore, she’s still possessive.”

“Sorry you’re going through this.”

“I’m sorry to rope you in this.”

You both snickered, understanding that this was the grave that the two of you had dug and had no other choice but to lie in it.

“I think we should get back to our usual routine.” Jungkook suggested.

Your routine with Jungkook consisted of him picking you up from your house at around 7:15 to go to school together. Jungkook would then take you to your first period and hang out with you outside of the classroom until the first bell would ring. Lunchtime was usually spent with him, his friends, and Jennie, then third period, fourth, and the school day would be over. If you had matters to attend to after school, Jungkook would wait on campus or sit in his car until you were finished and then he would take you home. This routine was put on hold due to both of your busy schedules.

“I think you’re right. Maybe we’re starting to look more like friends than a couple these days.” You lightly chuckled and quickly skimmed through one page of Jungkook’s report. “And I also think the semi colon belongs here.”

“Where?!” He scrambled around to look where you were looking.

“Somewhere—here.” You took one of your red pens and circled the same paragraph he sent you.

Just as you playfully hit him with his papers, Jungkook grabbed your red pen and drew jagged semicolons all over your hand as you struggled to free yourself. In that moment, you felt at ease knowing things were going to go back as normal as possible.

↠↞

“The two of you look disgustingly happy today. I feel like vomiting.” Jennie shuddered and opened her bag of chips.

You turned your gaze over to the lunch line where Jungkook and Jimin were standing. Jimin was shaking Jungkook by the collar, probably begging Jungkook to accompany him to the mall tomorrow; you remembered Jungkook sighing about it at the coffee shop. 

Jennie was right and you refused to vocalize it. When you walked out your front door in the morning and found Jungkook leaning against his car, waiting for you, your heart thumped inside of your chest. He acted like he normally did, teasing you about the dust of sleep that was still settled in your eyes. 

There was a moment in time where you realized that the routine you had with Jungkook was now the norm and you were experiencing that same feeling all over again. It made you feel giddy, almost like a kid waking up on Christmas morning.

“I think you’re imagining it.” You dismissed the topic and pierced your juicebox with a straw.

“And I think I know you too well.” Jennie smirked and stole the first sip of your juice.

Well, she wasn’t wrong.

Third period physically suffocated you.

Your teacher had given the last half of class time to work on the history project and Jungkook sat a lot closer to you than normal. The entire class—pretty much the whole school—knew that you two were a couple, but the cheerleaders in your class constantly shot icy glares at you.

For an entire week, there was some distance between you and Jungkook and the constant stares from any of the cheerleaders began to subside until now. With the way Jungkook was acting, you knew it had to do with your “looking more like friends than a couple” comment from yesterday. Pulling off a couple’s aura was obviously a good thing, but shaking off the glares of Chaeyoung’s posse always proved rather difficult.

“Hey. Could you, I don’t know, maybe scoot over just a teensy bit?” You whispered.

Jungkook looked towards the cheerleaders who quickly turned away and then did the exact opposite of what you requested. 

To sit even closer to you, he pushed his desk aside and grabbed one of the vacant chairs that sat on the outskirts of the classroom. He sat close enough to the point where both your knee and shoulder bumped against Jungkook’s own.

“I like this a bit better.” He chuckled.

Li-Like?!

You retreated further into your seat but this only prompted Jungkook to only get closer.

“Jungkook, I understand that y/n is your girlfriend, but can you please keep the flirting outside of my classroom?” Your history teacher called out from his desk.

“Sorry, teach! Couldn’t help it.” Jungkook replied with ease.

A few of the students snickered and you easily recognized Jennie’s.

“That was fun.” He whispered.

“You’re impossible!” You harshly whispered back, face flushed with embarrassment.

After that, the rest of the school day seemed to have passed by in a blur.

You had a math team meeting after school to prepare for the competition and you tried to convince Jungkook to head home so he could rest before his training, but he refused.

“It’s fine. I have my duffle bag in my trunk, so I can just drop you off home and head off to practice.” Jungkook patted the top of your head.

The two of you stood outside of the practice room and you greeted your teammates as they walked in.

“B-But, aren’t you tired? I don’t know what time I’ll finish.”

You noticed that Jungkook’s eyes were focused inside the classroom before he leaned down and gently tugged at your face towards him. There was a short moment of panic inside of you thinking that he was going to kiss you in front of your teammates.

The first and only time he kissed you was the first day your fake relationship was established and kissing you now, when you definitely weren’t ready, was too much.

“Jung—” you croaked and screwed your eyes shut.

Instead of a kiss, he bumped his forehead against yours and lightly brushed the tip of your nose with his own. He probably did this to create the illusion of you two kissing and you were confused, he never did this before.

“I’ll take a nap in my car. Just call me when you’re done so I get a heads up.” Jungkook took a quick step back before enveloping you in a hug. “Work hard. I’ll see you later.”

He left shortly after the hug, leaving you in a daze. Chanyeol had to go out and collect you because you were too shocked to move.

Did that happen just now?

↠↞

“Okay, this meeting is adjourned until next week Monday. Tomorrow is Friday, so I think we all take a break so that your weekend can start much earlier.” Chanyeol announced.

The math team cheered as if they just won the lottery. Your brain had been overcooked with math problems for the entire week and you couldn’t wait to finally relax after school.

While you were packing your bag, you scrolled through the text messages you received during the meeting.

[4:02] momomom: Thai for dinner tonight? Text me your order! I finish at 7 tonight xo

Yes! Chicken pad thai, my body is ready!

[3:40] jenniekim: Lmk if youre free after school tmrw

[3:40] jenniekim: The mall awaits us!

[3:41] jenniekim: And that outfit I showed u before also awaits u!!!!!!

You smiled to yourself.

Sigh, Jennie. You’re not going to let it go, huh?

The next cluster of messages were from Jungkook who also attached a bunch of pictures to the texts. Majority of the pictures were of the sky, his feet on the dashboard, the ceiling of his car along with his face from the eyes up, and his empty passenger seat.

[2:52] jungkookie♡: It’s the perfect day for a nap

[3:05] jungkookie♡: Okay I’m going to nap forreal this time

[3:26] jungkookie♡: Nvm turns out

[3:26] jungkookie♡: I cant sleeeeeep

He’s gonna regret not napping later.

[3:47] jungkookie♡: When youre done gotta show u a youtube vid lol funny af

[3:56] jungkookie♡: Dont forget to call me when youre on your way

“This kid.” you mumbled to yourself.

“Good work today, y/n.” Chanyeol’s voice startled you. “Oh, s-sorry!”

You brushed it off with a laugh and slipped on your backpack.

“It’s fine, Chan. I’ll see you on Monday!”

“Wa-Wait, y/n! This isn’t homework or anything, but I compiled some problems and formulas that you can study and practice with to help prepare you for the final part of the competition.” Chanyeol held out a thin packet.

You smile softly at him. “Thank you so much! I really appreciate this, Chan. I owe you one.”

Chanyeol opened his mouth and a squeak of some sort of syllable left his lips, but he shook his head. “You’re welcome. I’ll see you, y/n.”

He turned his back to you to clean up the classroom and you raised an eyebrow.

Weird.

You didn’t want to dwell on the moment any second longer. It was still a bit awkward around Chanyeol, especially because Jennie always made side comments whenever they would run into him in the hallways.

Since the meeting ended earlier than you expected, this gave Jungkook a bit more time to rest after taking you home. Knowing that he would have the time to relax made you feel satisfied. The quicker you arrived at his car, the quicker he could nap.

“Tsk. He told me to call and yet he’s not answering.” You mumbled to yourself as you picked up your pace in your steps.

Jungkook parked near the second entrance in the student parking lot and you took a shortcut behind the locker rooms and the football field to get there faster.

The sun beat down on you, but the autumn air made it much easier to bear. You noticed it on the way to school, but the weather seemed more beautiful than normal.

“—fuck did you say?!”

You didn’t realize how deep in thought you were until you heard a voice dripping in anger coming up near the boys locker room. The voice was recognizable, but you refused to believe it until you saw the owner with your own eyes.

You ran, almost tripping over your own feet as you turned the corner and found Jungkook in an altercation with none other than Sehun.

Jungkook had the collar of Sehun’s shirt balled up in his fists with Sehun’s back pressed against the wire fence. Your feet felt glued to the ground, but you knew you had to do something before things got out of hand.

“Jeon Jungkook!” Your voice pierced through the air and the two boys whipped their heads to find you trudging towards them.

You ripped Jungkook away from Sehun, dropping your phone to hold his wrists in your hands.

“What the hell are you two doing?!” You first looked to Jungkook for an answer, but his eyes weren’t meeting yours. So, you turned to Sehun and he was reacting the same way.

“Hello?!” You questioned loudly.

“We were just—” Sehun began.

“Talking. Just talking.” Jungkook completed the sentence still avoiding your eyes.

You screwed your eyes shut, blood boiling with anger.

“I’m gonna take a stab in the dark here, but since my ex boyfriend and current boyfriend were in that situation, I’m going to assume that you two were talking about me?” Neither of the boys answered you and you sighed roughly. “I’m going to take the silence as a yes.”

It had only been a day and here was Jungkook and Sehun, once again, sharing the same breathing space. Not only that, the scene you stumbled upon would have probably turned violent if you arrived a minute later.

“Oh Sehun, Jeon Jungkook, you two realize that you both are student athletes, right?” Neither of them dared to look at you. “If a teacher walked in instead of me, who knows what would’ve happened! Sehun, coach would have probably kicked you off the team and you have a match at the end of this month, Jungkook. Your coach probably wouldn’t let you compete!”

You felt as if you were scolding two kindergarteners who refused to share a toy. Unlike an elementary school teacher, you didn’t make them hug and apologize. Instead, you gave Jungkook a light push to keep them at distance. You scooped up your phone and tightened your hand around Jungkook’s.

“I don’t ever want to see the two of you making any sort of contact again and I mean it.” You threatened. “Let’s go, Jungkook. You have practice.”

You couldn’t be bothered to check on Sehun. If you showed an ounce of concern, Jungkook’s mood would probably worsen. So, the two of you marched to his car in a heavy silence.

“I’ll drive. You can cool off in the passenger seat.” You stuck your hand out for the keys, but Jungkook beat you to it and held open the passenger side door for you to get in.

“It’s fine. I’ll cool off at practice.” Jungkook said plainly.

It was weird. You were pissed off about how he would have got into a fight and if you could, you would much rather not talk to him at the moment. But you never saw Jungkook this angry before and it terrified you.

He was always so easy going; anger never seemed to be a part of his vocabulary. It made you wonder what the hell were those two idiots specifically talking about. You made an inference that the topic was you; it seemed to be the likely candidate because they were never friends to begin with. The only thing they had in common was having a relationship with you.

Maybe they talked about what Mina and Jeongyeon said?

The car ride was deafening and what made it even worse was that Jungkook had the air conditioning on and no music playing. You could feel a streak of cold sweat fall at the back of your neck.

Something. I have to say something!

“I—I understand that we’re pretending to be a couple, but you really didn’t have to take it that far.” You blurted out. “You’ve been training hard for this fight, you can’t risk it because of me, you know.”

While you spoke, it took a lot of courage for you to take a peek at Jungkook. You could see his jaw clench and his eyes remained focused on the road. His left hand held the steering wheel and his right hand gripped tightly around the gear shift.

You sighed. Ugh, no. I’m just making him feel even worse.

You almost made yourself dizzy by thinking about what to say to Jungkook. In your eyes, you didn’t seem to do anything wrong back at the school but at the moment, you were nagging at him. The last thing you wanted was for Jungkook to be angry or upset with you.

The suffocating atmosphere wasn’t getting any better. Before slumping lower into the seat, you noticed how tight Jungkook was holding the gear shift. His knuckles ghosted white from how hard he was squeezing the handle.

This made you nervous. What if Jungkook continued to stay angry and ended up hurting himself during practice from trying to “cool off”? What if he couldn’t compete?

No. No. I need to do something. Ah—um—

With trembling fingers, you reached out and peeled Jungkook’s hand off the shift. His entire arm flinched as you gently interlaced your fingers between his own and rested your held hands in your lap.

“If Sehun said something bad about me that made you angry, thank you for defending me. But I don’t want you using violence to solve anything.” Your voice was much softer and much more composed this time. “I don’t want you getting hurt because I’m going to start worrying and I can get pretty annoying when I start worrying!”

You looked over at Jungkook whose facial expression still hasn’t changed.

“Jungkook.” You sighed. “Please don’t be angry.”

Just when you thought things were going to take another wrong turn because you couldn’t stop spewing nonsense, you felt Jungkook’s hand relax in yours. He still kept his eyes on the road, but he used his thumb to gently graze your skin as you held on. Before you could ruin the mood by running your mouth, you smiled to yourself thinking you succeeded in making him relax. You used your free hand to softly draw mindless patterns on the back of his hand.

Not another word was said, but the heavy fog in the car seemed to have been lifted.

Before you knew it, Jungkook was pulling up to the curb in front of your house. You were still holding hands with him, so he had no way of putting the car in park. But he didn’t move an inch to do so.

“Jungkook?” You called out, but there was no reaction. “Jeon Jungkook!” This time, you shook your hand and it woke him up out of his daze.

“Huh?”

“I’m home.”

“O—Oh! Sorry.” He retracted his hand back and finally put his car in park. 

“It’s fine.” You snickered. “Um, get some rest okay? Don’t get hurt during practice.”

You shuffled around and gathered your things to exit as quickly as possible.

“Y—Y/n..!” Jungkook tugged at your sleeve just before you could open the door. “Uh, I—I—I’ll...do my best tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The crack in his voice startled you. It wasn’t like Jungkook to sound or look this flustered. It was quite the sight to see, but you were getting nervous all over again.

“Yeah. Drive safe.” You replied and finally made your escape. You wanted to run into your house right away, but your compulsion to turn back around weighed heavier. So, when you reached your front door, you did just that.

You saw Jungkook already looking at you, so you waved. For the first time since he dropped you off at your math team meeting, he smiled at you. He then waved back and drove out of your street.

It seemed to take forever to get your front door open and once you did, you plopped yourself down on your couch. You shut your eyes and your head spun as you looked back on the events that took place.

The angered expression Jungkook had when he was with Sehun continued to pop into your head. As well as the way Jungkook held your hand and affectionately grazed your skin with his thumb.

Your cheeks flared up.

Geez, what a day.

-

-

-

♡ rae jagi

[iamaliberalartsstudent]

Modern Languages' Tips for Creating a Great Work-space at Home

Last week, Georgia Institute of Technology announced that it is closing its campus and converting to a fully remote environment for the rest of the semester. This means teaching all our courses online and advising our master's students remotely as they work independently on their Final Projects.

Students are working on a variety of projects, from documentaries to research papers, from ethnographic research to translation. Right now, they are preparing to defend their projects in a 30-minute presentation at the end of April. A good work-space at home will definitely be important.

So to help them (and myself prepare), I asked some fellow professors to share some strategies for working from home.

1. Get a designated work area.

It's easy to think you can work anywhere, because technically, you can. Writers are notorious for working everywhere but the office: at home, on a couch, in cafes, in train stations, on trains, or even wandering through the park with a voice recorder.

Because writing is so psychological, it's important to have a space that mentally prepares you for work. Try to find a space that you use exclusively for work, so your mind knows to focus when you sit down. And when you leave the space, you can more easily think about other things (For example, experts advise against working in bed, because it can make it more difficult to fall asleep).

2. Limited on space? Create mental boundaries.

I don't have space for a home office in my apartment, so I'm using my dining table. My working setup can be opened and then put away, so I know when I'm working, and when I'm done for the day.

There are many ways to get in the mindset. For me, it's always been putting a cup of coffee or tea to the left of my laptop and having something to write on. For many people, it's doing their morning routine and getting dressed for work. It could be anything: putting in your headphones, saying a catch-phrase, starting a timer, or opening your project folder. Do whatever works for you!

3. Plan out a daily routine.

Starting March 30th, you will have classes online. You may also have other responsibilities, depending on your living and family situation. Plan how you will use your time: When will you be in class? When will you do homework? When will you work on your project? Don't forget to include time to relax and get away from your screen!

NPR suggests: "Get ready for work every morning like you are going to physically go into work. Dress up, do your hair — whatever you'd normally do. This puts you in a professional mindset....If you're the type of person who never takes a break at home, set a timer to take time for lunch, and turn off your work....Try to maintain normal work hours, and shut things down when you would normally leave the office."

If you're working on multiple projects, it helps to work on the same project at the same time every day. For example, if you're juggling your Prospectus and three other courses, you might want to decide that no matter what else happens, you will work on your Prospectus from 6:00 - 7:00 pm every day.

Check out the daily routines of 20 famous writers on Brain Pickings.

4. Make sure you have reliable internet.

With everyone online at the same time, internet speeds could slow down, so make sure you have reliable internet access. Check out https://gatech.service-now.com/continuity for IT support through Georgia Tech.

5. Get ready for video conferencing.

You will probably have meetings and classes via Bluejeans, so take a moment to prep your webcam. You may want to find a private area with a neutral background, where you can have meetings with your professors. Have a good pair of headphones. Test it out with friends to see if there's background noise. Will it still work if your family member is doing a Skype meeting in the next room?

Note that Bluejeans looks different in the app and browser versions, and in the laptop and tablet versions, so try them out and see which one you prefer. Download Bluejeans here: http://bluejeans.gatech.edu/

Remember that Bluejeans Meetings are at gatech.bluejeans.com (reversal of the above URL). Don't forget to hang up when you're done!

6. Set goals, and celebrate your accomplishments!

A three-month project like your Master's Project can feel overwhelming. Break it down into "bite-size," measurable tasks that take 20, 40, 60 minutes to complete.

These might be:

Search the internet for articles on X topic and save them to a folder.

Take notes on a book chapter.

Write an analysis of a scene in a film.

Edit a page you wrote yesterday.

When you've finished a task, Reward yourself! Acknowledge and celebrate the moment: take a 5-minute stretch break, have a snack, watch a video of unlikely animal friendships (don't get sucked in, though; time yourself if you need to).

7. Aim for 4 productive hours per day.

Lelia Glass, Assistant Professor of Linguistics at Georgia Tech, writes:

"Set a timer when you work. Any time you check emails, read Twitter, get coffee, wash your hands, etc, pause the timer. Pause it as often as you want, but keep working until you get to a real hour.

Once you reach your goal, relax, knowing you really put in quality time on your work.  This is how I wrote my dissertation from a couch in San Francisco over the course of nine months or so."

Dr. Glass says she uses this method to "do about 4-5 hours of writing per day." Turns out, the average human brain can only stay deeply focused for a maximum of 4-5 hours per day. So if you've worked for four hours productively, you've done an amazing job!

Creating protected blocks of time, like an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening, can help you prioritize your current top project. And remember, once you've reached your goal, take a break!

8. Take breaks!

Just as important as a designated work area is a designated space for time off. Whether it's your favorite couch, your bed, or the act of closing your email and washing out your coffee cup, it's important to step away and give your mind a break. Dr. Glass suggests going for a run, cooking a healthy meal, and video-chatting with family and friends.

9. Don't worry if you're messy.

The middle of a project is always messy.

We live in messy times.

And if all else fails, remember Einstein's words: "If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?"

Sources:

"The Daily Routines of 20 Famous Writers," Brain Pickings, https://www.brainpickings.org/2012/11/20/daily-routines-writers/

"8 Tips to make working from home work for you" npr.org/2020/03/15/815549926/8-tips-to-make-working-from-home-work-for-you

Managing Large Writing Projects, Inside Higher Ed. insidehighered.com/advice/2009/04/24/managing-large-writing-projects

Special thanks to Lelia Glass and Jinyi Chu for sharing your work-spaces and tips!

By Jenny Strakovsky, Assistant Director of Graduate Studies

[wishingupontheskyandstars]

New little reylo modern au fanfic I posted last night... 😌

Title: Why Did We Break Up?

Side Note - There’s a happy ending, of course!

Rated M (Language and additional tags to be added later...)

Summary: Rey and Ben recently broke up but living in the same apartment building does not help them to move on...It helps them to find out why they decided to break up in the first place and realize how good things actually were between them.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22251973/chapters/53135227

A little note: This first chapter was inspired by a fanfic prompt via tumblr:

'we bumped into each other in the street and you were grinning like a cocky asshole the whole time so i stalked off only to realise i’m wearing your shirt'

I've wanted to write a reylo fic based on this prompt for the longest time. I might add other prompts to this story, so stay tuned. Post Tros, writing more reylo fic has definitely helped to cope. Also, it's helping to get me out of this bad case of writer's block I've been having for months. So, in advance, please excuse any typos because I really just want to write, and post as much as I can. So, anyway hope you like this and continue to read what comes next! And, thank you so much for just taking the time to read; it’s seriously always so appreciated :)

Chapter 1: Asshole

Rey's hand automatically went to her right side, to feel for...him. She opened her eyes to see the empty side of the bed. She sighed in frustration and laid on her back, looking at the tan-colored ceiling. The sun still had not peeked through her curtains so Rey knew she was up too early.

She rolled on her left side and reached for her cell phone on the nightstand. She squinted her eyes, rubbing at them, trying to wake up. After a few seconds, she finally saw the time was 5:25. She groaned with displeasure knowing she woke up much earlier than anticipated. She also didn't want to go back to sleep, just in case she slept through her alarm.

Rey covered her eyes with her arm and released a deep sigh. She knew she was going to get up in a few minutes but her mind went to Ben Solo, her ex-boyfriend of three days. They had been dating just a little over two years, about the same amount of time she and Rose had been living in this apartment. Rey put her arm over his pillow as if she could run her fingers through his dark silky hair.  

A few minutes later, the sun was rising, hitting Rey's curtains, making her open her eyes. "Okay, I can do this!" Rey pulled the covers off of her and started to get up. She sat at the edge of the bed, her feet touching the hardwood floor. She let out a yawn, stretching her arms over her head, back arched. She looked back at her phone which was next to her pillow. She leaned over to reach for it, her hand slightly touching the phone, but her head touched the pillow first and she laid on her stomach, closing her eyes, "Five more minutes..." she whispered.  

More than five minutes later, Rey's roommate, Rose Tico yelled, "Rey!" from outside her door. She knocked and knocked until the door finally opened and revealed a panicked Rey looking right at Rose, eyes enlarged.

“Shit!" Rey shouted as she ran toward their bathroom.

"Well, good morning to you too!" Rose said quickly as she followed Rey.

Rey opened the bathroom door and said over her shoulder, "Sorry, Rose! I can't believe I overslept ahh!"

Rose approached the bathroom, the door slightly ajar, and could hear the water turning on. She could hear the shower curtain moving to one side, then back. Rose crossed her arms, "I knew something was wrong when the smell of coffee didn't wake me up. I've gotten used to that alarm clock."

Rey laughed, "What a way to start the week huh?"

"Yeah, Mondays are the worst!" Rose said in agreement. "Did you want me to make coffee? I have the afternoon shift this week so I—"

"It's okay Rose! I'm just going to grab something at the corner café, thanks though!"

"Okay..." Rose checked her watch and said, "It's ten after 7, Rey..."

"Oh my God! Why is the time going by so fucking fast?!"

Rose laughed, "I'd like to know that too! See you later then, Rey."

In the shower, Rey was rinsing her hair when she barely could hear Rose and said, "Okay!" Rey closed her eyes, making sure she didn't get any shampoo in her eyes; that's something else she didn't need this morning.

Minutes later, Rey walked outside her apartment building, the sun shining brightly in her direction. She breathed the air in, taking the warm sun hitting her face. She turned briefly, feeling the sun touch her wet messy bun then started to walk. Rey could feel it was going to be another crisp autumn day in New Republic City. It was a huge metropolis filled with different boroughs and neighborhoods. Rey first came to the city when she started University. That was seven years ago and she still had not been to all the neighborhoods.

Rey was half a block away from the corner café to get a quick coffee before the ten-minute drive to Takodana when she saw Ben walk outside of the corner café, walking her way. She gasped without meaning to. She had been thinking of him but seeing him made her heart beat a little faster.

Ben Solo took a sip of his coffee then instantly found Rey's intense stare. He swallowed, thankful his coffee didn't go another way due to being taken back at seeing his ex-girlfriend so soon. He was going to say something but his eyes looked quickly at her shirt, then back into her eyes. He immediately grinned, satisfied at what he saw.

Rey was surprised that Ben had a fucking grin. She narrowed her eyes, "Ben," she simply said as they were passing each other.

Ben nodded and said in return, "Rey." His voice sounded so familiar, gentle, and deep. Rey would not admit it but she missed his damn voice. She shook her head and was about to say something else when she noticed his grin was not going away.

Rey scoffed, walked away, and abruptly stopped as she swore she heard him chuckle. She would not look back, nope she told herself. She looked down and instantly found why he grinned, "Fuck!" She said a little too loudly. A mother with her young daughter was walking by her just then and she received a dark glare from the mother. Rey shrugged and mouthed sorry to her, not receiving a second glance. Rey shrugged and looked back at her shirt, underneath her black blazer. She was wearing his shirt! His fucking shirt. In the rush to get ready, instead of putting on a solid gray shirt she accidentally put on his gray shirt with the name of his favorite band: The Knights of Ren. Rey shook her head and looked back toward the apartment, Ben nowhere in sight. She looked away and sighed, hating that he grinned like the cocky asshole he is! "Gahh!" Rey shook her head in frustration. It was too late to change now. Rey looked at her phone, cursed again, and walked the last couple of steps toward the café.

[msilwrites]

Only One Lives, Chapter 20

A/N: Chapter 20 is up! still NSFW!

Sorry for updating late guys, I have tons of paperwork, it makes me cry... LOL. It was hard, and I was having writer’s block due to the stacks of work. 

Still, I love writing! I consider it my release, which is why here is the next chapter  :D :D :D :D!!

                                                     Only One, Lives

                                                          TWENTY                                                              Bluff

The ‘escape’ to Shanghai had not been an easy one. A lot of things have happened before she got to where she is now. 

Sitting near her window whilst looking outside, the night time view of the bund looked beautiful and the lights of the tall skyscrapers reflected on the surface of the river.  

After everything that had happened, she had no regrets taking Iseler’s work offer, jumping on that plane and escaping to Shanghai. But who knows when will Godfrey find her again, and ruin everything. For now, she will treasure these moments of freedom. 

Dinner was served via room service, the staff places each plate on top of the small table and the aroma of the dishes made her mouth water. 

She thanks the staff, giving them a generous tip before they left her room. Looking at her wristwatch, in a few hours time, the new year will be approaching soon, and there will be a grand fireworks display across the river, at the side of the Pearl tower. Pulling the curtains wider, the full view of the harbour came into view.

She places her chair in an angle where she can see the view whilst eating, but instead of starting her long-awaited meal, she pauses and stares at the view, contemplating. The past few years had been hard, Godfrey had ‘chased’ her non-stop. There were many things that had happened. It was a good thing that Iseler was there. He didn’t ask why or what happened, he just knew she was troubled and he was willing to help. When she told him not to mention anything to Leonard at all, he respected her choice and listened to her. Oh, how blessed she was with Iseler! She felt a tinge of regret upon remembering him. There were times that he hinted his fondness of her. But she did not respond, nor did she do anything about it. In her mind, it was for the best. She couldn’t bear tainting Iseler’s life. 

Leonard... he, on the other hand, started to become suspicious of her, no longer trusting her. And she was very sure Godfrey played a part in Leonard’s suspicion. 

The last time she talked to him, he was a bit aggressive, as if he was interrogating her, despite them not being an official couple yet. She didn’t know what for, but he got a little bit physical. Grabbing her wrist and shoulder so tightly that it bruised.

She pushes her finished plate aside and drinks her warm drink. After eating, she thought of going out despite the cold weather to watch the fireworks at the balcony bar of the hotel. It was six degrees outside, and she needed all the warmth she could get in this cold weather, despite it only being physical.

                                                            **********

                                                       =FLASHBACK=

Godfrey chuckled and appeared composed despite Annabelle’s threat. He knew she was bluffing because if that wasn’t the case, she would’ve pulled the trigger and killed him by now.

He sauntered forward and she backed away in response. Her body, trembled in fear, giving her away. When he reached for her wrist, she quickly pulled the trigger. However, the bullet flew to another direction and hit something else. In a mere second, Godfrey disarms her, followed by the gun’s bullets dropping on the floor.

“Oh, Annabelle...” he whispered, pulling her close whilst her body shuddered. His hand travelled to the crook of her neck as if he wanted to break them. Perhaps he does, and this would be the end of her. She closed her eyes and prepared herself for what was about to come. A tear escaping down her eye. However, much to her surprise. he just caressed her face and kissed her on the temple.

“You do that again, and I won’t be as merciful the next time...” he warned in a saccharine tone. He brushes his hand on the strands her hair and slides them to the back of her ears. “I suggest that you behave yourself...” 

Despite the threat,  Godfrey’s has no intention of ‘physically’ hurting her. 

                                                            ********** 

Annabelle shuddered remembering the encounter with Godfrey after the flower show. She thought she was going to die. Up to this day, she couldn’t imagine how she had survived. She is aware that Godfrey does love her, in his own twisted sort of way. All those times she had spent and was held captive by him, he cared and showed her love that she never had. But she has never forgotten Betty, Emma, and Agatha. No, She couldn’t risk the possibility of being like them. No, It would break her heart if she loses Godfrey’s affections.  She was not willing to risk becoming like the girl that came before Betty, and Betty when Emma came into the picture. She can’t bear becoming the Emma, who was either being hunted or being a captive. Nor can she bear having children with him, and becoming like Godfrey’s mother, Agatha, who lost her husband’s affection and used his children as pawns. 

She heaved a sigh as she turned her attention to the crowd who began counting until the new year strikes.

“ 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!”

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!” The crowd said in unison as a beautiful fireworks display lights up the midnight sky. Afterwards, all the guest, despite being strangers, clinked their glasses and made a toast.

“Happy New Year!” Annabelle greets the waiter as he hands her a drink. The waiter smiles before walking off to another direction to distribute the rest that was on his tray. 

Looking around, she saw some of them happily making calls or sending messages to most probably the special people in their lives. She thought for a while and thought of the people she had wanted to greet. There was Philip, and then her cousin, Terrence, and of course, Iseler and his daughters. It didn’t matter that she didn’t have a lot of special people. So without any hesitation, she takes out her phone and makes an overseas call. 

It was still 4:00 ++ pm in London, but it never meant that she couldn’t greet them. She doesn’t call Philip, knowing the less he knows, the safer he would be, but she first calls her cousin, Terrence instead. But after repeated rings. He hasn’t picked up. Knowing what a busy guy her cousin is, she decides to move to the next person which is Iseler. 

After a few rings, Iseler picks up the call...

                                                           **********

It was 4:00 in the afternoon when Iseler felt his phone vibrate inside his suit’s pocket. Looking at the caller ID, she smiled upon seeing the letter ‘A’ indicated. Of course, he didn’t want anyone to know, (especially Leonard) that he knows where Annabelle is. Nor he is the one that helped her escaped. Escaped from who or what, he doesn’t know what. All he knew that she was begging for escape and he needed to help her. 

Looking around his surroundings he answers the call casually, pretending that the call was from the office. He didn’t know if he was being paranoid or what, but despite currently being in a cocktail party with countless people, Leonard was just around the corner and he didn’t want the later finding out that Annabelle was calling him.

“Happy New Year! Iseler!” was a joyful greeting from the other side of the line.

Iseler smiles and replied “Happy New Year too! hold on for a second!” he takes and quick glance and sees Leonard talking to the Westwood heir, from a distance, both eyeing him suspiciously. “Excuse me for a minute, I need to answer this, just some office issues...” he says to them from across the room, before walking to an empty balcony and staring at the winter sky.

“Happy New Year, Annabelle!” he greets her once more. 

“Thank you!” she says. “Where are you by the way? are the girls around?”

“No, they aren’t, I’m currently at a cocktail party,” he says quietly.

“Is he around?”

“Yes...” he whispers.

“No wonder... I called you at the wrong time I-”

“No, no, no, it’s fine Bella... I’m actually glad to hear from you! How are you? how are the fireworks over there?” he asks, using his term of endearment for her, ‘Bella’ which means ‘Beautiful’ in Latin, and which also happens to be the other half of her name. 

“I’m well! better than before... I hope you are doing well too, Iseler... How are the girls?” she asks, eager to know how he and his daughter were doing. After all, she had left London months ago.

“They’re currently at home, you can give me a call two hours from now because I’ll be home by that time and then you can talk to the girls,” he says, leaning against the called wall.  

“Thank you, Iseler...” she smiles. “The fireworks were grand as you said... I wished I could see it with you and the girls” she adds, as she yearned to share the experience with him and his daughters.

“That’s good, I hope you will continue having a great time there. If you took a video of the fireworks, you send and share them with me...” he encourages. 

“I did and I would... I’d probably send them to you when I get back to my hotel room...” she adds, knowing that it was faster sending things when in her room because the internet was faster there. 

Suddenly, she hears two loud taps coming from Iseler’s side. Which also meant, someone was there around the corner listening.

“He’s there... isn’t he?” Annabelle guessed.

“Yes...” was his serious reply, whilst watching Leonard come out of the glass door and calling him. 

“Don’t bring your work to the party!” Leonard chides Iseler playfully which Annabelle heard over the phone.

“Go ahead, Iseler... I will just talk to you later,” she says, a little disappointed that they didn’t get to talk long enough.

“Alright... later then,” he said, as he cuts the call and goes back inside the vicinity.

As Iseler enters goes back inside the room, he saw the Westwood heir, Godfrey, eyeing him suspiciously. Iseler didn’t know why, but he has this gut feeling that this man had something to do with Annabelle’s current situation. Not wanting to be suspicious to both Leonard and Godfrey, Iseler tries to lighten up the mood by saying something funny, making the people at the table laugh.

Godfrey chuckles and takes a sip of his drink. He didn’t know what he was doing here, or why did he even agree to come. All he knew that Gabriel ‘dragged’ him to this cocktail party and that he needed to ‘babysit’ him. All he wanted was to leave the place and go back to continue his search for Annabelle. The hunt excited him, because of that he was more enamoured with her than ever,  but it also frustrated the hell out of him.  All he wanted now is to get her back. But upon seeing Iseler, Annabelle’s boss, Godfrey figured out that the man might have the answers of her whereabouts. The cocktail party started to become more tolerable for Godfrey. He began to craft a plan in his head, that before this party ends, he will get all the answers he wanted. And he will have to subtly extract it from this man called, Iseler. No, he didn’t plan on hurting him. But there were other ways, and Leonard was the perfect pawn for that.

A/N:  Again, sorry for the late update, I will be soft editing as I may have made some grammatical errors. I will soon fill in the holes about the time gap (which was Annabelle’s escape) in the next chapters. 

[useyourrwords]

Month Ahead // Going Off Grid – April

Oh it’s been two months since I last went on hiatus? Sounds about time for another one.

Listen, would it be Use Your Words without a hiatus every couple of months? No. Absolutely not.

March was…a lot, to say the least. So I’m switching off and going into hiding for awhile.

But first I want to share what I have planned for while I’m away!

If you would like to buy any of the following books please consider using my Book Depository Affliate link!

           ContemporApril

ContemporApril is the topic this month for Devour Your TBR.

Time to read all those contemporary books sitting on your shelf!

     UnsolvedAThon 

UnsolvedAThon was created by Laura @ The Book Corps!

This readathon is based on the Youtube series, Buzzfeed Unsolved, where supernatural believer Ryan tells his friend, skeptical Shane, about a famous supernatural or true crime case — all of which are unsolved.

I love Buzzfeed Unsolved! Ryan and Shane’s dynamic is perfect and I can’t help but think about how much more perfect it would be if my mum joined them because that woman has seen some shit.

When I saw Laura’s new readathon I knew I had to participate.

Now, the rules are to pick either Ryan’s or Shane’s path and to read a different book for each clue, ten in total. But I’m terrible at following rules so I’m bending them to fit me. Also I can’t read 10 books in a month at the moment, it’s just not possible.

So I’m picking a clue from either Ryan’s or Shane’s path for each step. They will still be in order, I’m just skipping between paths a little. Also for some of the clues I have books for each path so I’m including those as well. And I’m using books more than once! SO my TBR is gonna look a little different!

     UnsolvedAThon TBR

*Means that I had books for both clues.

Clue 1*

[Ryan’s Path] The Search for the Mysterious Mothman – Read a book about a mythical creature or a monster.

[Shane’s Path] The Harrowing Hunt for Bigfoot – Read a book about a mythical creature/monster.

│The Rook│The Checquy Files #1│Daniel O’Malley││││││

Clue 2

[Shane’s Path] The Strange Disappearance of D.B. Cooper – Read a mystery or thriller book.

│The Rook│The Checquy Files #1│Daniel O’Malley││││││

Clue 3

[Shane’s Path] The Haunting of the Salem Witch Trials – Read a book involving witches.

│Toil & Trouble│Tess Sharpe││││││

Clue 4

[Shane’s Path] The Horrifying Murders of the Zodiac Killer – Read a retelling.

│Toil & Trouble│Tess Sharpe││││││

Specifically – Daughters of Baba Yaga by Brenna Yovanoff

Clue 5

[Shane’s Path] The Secret Society of the Illuminati – Read a book about or involving a secret society.

│The Rook│The Checquy Files #1│Daniel O’Malley││││││

Clue 6

[Ryan’s Path] The Enigmatic Death of the Isdal Woman – Read a book involving spies or espionage.

│The Morning Star│Shadow of the Templar #1│M. Chandler│││││

Clue 7

[Ryan’s Path] The Haunting of Hannah Williams – Read a book involving ghosts or spirits.

│City of Bones│Cassidy Blake #1│Victoria Schwab│││││

Clue 8*

[Ryan’s Path] The Historic Disappearance of Louis Le Prince – Read an unknown book or a book that has less than 500 ratings on Goodreads.

│Rad Girls Can│Kate Schatz││││││

[Shane’s Path] The Thrilling Gardner Museum Heist – Read a book involving a heist or thieves.

│The Morning Star│Shadow of the Templar #1│M. Chandler│││││

Clue 9*

[Ryan’s Path] The Haunted Town of Tombstone – Read a book about an outlaw/a group of outlaws.

│The Morning Star│Shadow of the Templar #1│M. Chandler│││││

[Shane’s Path] Horrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons – Read a collection of short stories/anthology.*

│Toil & Trouble│Tess Sharpe││││││

Clue 10

[Ryan’s Path] The Odd Vanishing of Amelia Earhart – Read a book with a female main character.

│The Rook│The Checquy Files #1│Daniel O’Malley│││││

│Toil & Trouble│Tess Sharpe││││││

│City of Bones│Cassidy Blake #1│Victoria Schwab││││

     TBR

│I’ve Got This Round│Mamrie Hart││││

│Murasaki Shikibu│Khutlun│Sayyida Al-Hurra│Mochizuki Chiyome│Doña Ana Lezama De Urinza & Doña Eustaquia De Sonza│Bygone Badass Broads│Mackenzi Lee│││││

│”Stagecoach” Mary Fields│Yennenga│Annie Jump Cannon│Wilma Rudolph│Alfhild│Calafia│Keumalahayati│Marie Marvingt│Iara│Jane Dieulafoy│Rejected Princesses│Jason Porath│││││

  Structured TBR

│Must Read:  6/5│ 1/1│ 0/0│ 4/2│ 5/3│ 10/10│ 5/5│

│Allowances:  0/1│ 0/0│ 1/0│ 0/0│ 1/1│

Past Grey Reads

 Book Review // Girl Made of Stars – I Am Broken

 Grey Reads // Everything’s On Fire and I Couldn’t Be Happier – Girls of Paper and Fire

 Grey Reads // Bloody Moors & Candy Castles – The Wayward Children 2 & 3

       TBW

│Game of Thrones│Season 2-3││2011│ David Benioff, D.B. Weiss│ Emilia Clarke, Peter Dinklage, Kit Harington│

│The Bold Type│Season 3││2017│ Sarah Watson│ Katie Stevens, Aisha Dee, Meghann Fahy│

│Brooklyn Nine-Nine│Season 6││2013│ Daniel J. Goor, Michael Schur│ Andre Braugher, Andy Samberg, Stephanie Beatriz│Watching weekly episodes│

│RuPaul’s Drag Race│Season 11││2009│ RuPaul│RuPaul, Michelle Visage│Watching weekly episodes│

│On My Block│Season 2││2018│ Eddie Gonzalez, Jeremy Haft, Lauren Iungerich│ Sierra Capri, Brett Gray, Diego Tinoco│

│Captain Marvel││2019│ Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck│ Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Mendelsohn│

│Avengers Endgame││2019│ Anthony Russo, Joe Russo│ Brie Larson, Winston Duke, Karen Gillan│

│Us││2019│ Jordan Peele│ Lupita Nyong’o, Winston Duke, Elisabeth Moss│

Past Grey Watches

 Grey Watches // I Hate It So Much I Love It – A Christmas Prince

 Grey Watches // It Has To Be A Shit Show – A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding

 Grey Watches // I Wanna Bone Jude Law and Kate Winslet – The Holiday

I’ll be taking the rest of the month off blogging because I need to centre myself or whatever. Last month took a huge toll on me and I need some breathing room and to relax a little…well a lot, actually.

Blogging isn’t the only thing I’m taking a break from. I’ve also taken a page out of Elise’s @ The Bookish Actress book and decided to delete social media apps off my phone.

Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr are all gone. Those are the three I waste the most time on and I need to take that time and apply it to books instead. Also it always makes me sad or angry, with very few bursts of happiness in between that come in the form of animal and baby videos, which I can find on Youtube. If this goes well I’ll be continuing with it and just checking my notifications maybe once or twice a month. We’ll see!

I’m also visiting my Aunt for a few days this month to get away and get some clean air and be one with nature…More like I’ll sit on my ass for most of my time there talking non-stop with my aunt and cousins and playing with their babies. It still blows my mind that I’m at the age where my cousins have kids! But I’m determined to still go for walks while I’m there, but with a change of scenery—the beach! And hopefully I’ll read a fair bit too!

     Goals

 Get back to going for walks on most days, if not 6 days a week. Baby steps again

 Read and read and read and read

 Keep Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr deleted off my phone

 Get some blog posts banked up

 Enter quotes and finish reviews for all read books

 Try to use Google Calendar more and make some digital planning spreadsheets because physical planner is too time consuming and annoying but I still need to stay organized

 Maybe start writing??? Like just one scene. Please

Past Monthly Posts

 February Ahead // I’m Finally Going To Read The Raven Cycle Series & It’s Black History Month + A Great Resource for Education!!!!!

 Month in Review // I FINALLY CHANGED MY NAME – February

 Month Ahead // Writers Week, Comedy & Too Much To Do – March

 Month in Review // The Month From Hell – March

See you again in May

What are you doing this month? What are you reading? What are you watching?

│Blog│Goodreads│Instagram│Twitter│Tumblr│

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[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight: @under-the-shady-tree

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

Well, my name is Lauren, I live in Indianapolis and groom dogs for a living. I have a very tight-knit family so I spend pretty much all my time hanging out with them and having fun being the “cool” aunt.

How long have you been writing for?

Since I learned how to write. My parents gave me a diary for my 6th birthday and from that moment on, I was writing all the time. I used to write stories about me and my friends and reading my stories during recess became a thing. I moved onto fanfiction once the internet came around and still continue to journal and write original fiction.

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

A Life in the Day. I hadn’t written anything for almost two years. Life got rocky for a bit and I just couldn’t do it. I would get ideas for stuff, even The Magicians, but nothing would come of it. But that episode got whatever was blocked in my brain knocked out and it’s been non-stop since then.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Quentin. I just relate to him so much and understand how that brain could work. He comes really easy to me. Eliot also is one of my favorites, I find so much emotion and love buried under his persona and that is so much fun. Writing them together is just a joy. I also really like writing Margo and that one surprised me because I am so different from her, but like Eliot I’ve found what’s underneath all of her bravado to be so interesting to write.

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

I guess season 3 since it’s the most I have written about, but I’ll write where ever the inspiration takes me.

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

Right now my time is pretty much all focused on my timeline 23 fic, We Will All Be Changed, it’s kind of a monster of a story for me so it’s got most of my attention. But I have a few things brewing. More of the mosaic lifetime, kind of examining how Quentin, Eliot and Arielle worked as parenting team and how they dealt with her death. I’m also dying to write teenage Rupert!

How long is your “to do list”?

Too long!

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

That’s hard, I always hate picking favorites. I lean more toward Destiny Is Bullshit I think because it was my first big one and it’s what really got me going into writing again. I really found Quentin and Eliot’s voices working on it and found that I actually could write Margo. The response I got from it was so positive as well and it really gave me a confidence boost that I never had before. It also inspired more than just that one story (now 8 in the series) and gave me a way to fill in the blanks for the rest of the season and for their mosaic lifetime.

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

I would have to say my fic All That Remains is Love. It’s a 5+1 story dealing with death so it might be too depressing, but it’s all of my favorite things. It’s missing scenes we didn’t get to see, angst and Queliot falling in love very slowly. I also worked non stop on it once the idea hit me and it drove me a little insane until it was done. It emotionally drained me writing it so I just want to shove it at everyone and be like “LOVE THIS!!!”

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

It depends on the length of what I’m writing. For the shorter fics I usually have more of an abstract idea and a few lines of dialogue or a surprise ending in mind. I have a few playlists for certain moods. (I’m a little obsessed about having a soundtrack to everything I do in my life, not just writing) Then I just start working it out line by line.

For longer ones, it’s a much bigger process because I like to plan. I don’t even consider starting a multi-chapter fic unless I’ve worked out the beginning, middle and end and what the conflict is. I create a playlist that goes to that particular fic and that always sets a good tone for me. Then I break it down chapter by chapter and start writing. I get the bare bones out, like the dialogue and where they are. Then I add the inner thoughts and actions and emotions and just kind iron it all out.

Sometimes it changes a lot while I write, sometimes it sticks close to what I thought.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I’ve only been writing since midway through season 3 and haven’t stopped so I see myself just writing during both pretty consistently. As far as what will happen, it will only inspire more. I have a series that sticks very close to canon so I can get all my added scenes and further in-depth peek into the show. So that will only help that grow. And ideas that fit out of that bubble come along too and I just go with it.

I think it would be kind of fun to continue some of my season 4 speculation stuff right into au territory because I’m sure what I wrote won’t happen, so who knows.

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

Of fics that are finished, The Mess We Made. It was hard because I realized early on that I was writing a younger Quentin and Eliot than who they were in Destiny is Bullshit. I kind of struggled with getting them to fight, because I just spent months writing them with a lifetime together under their belt and a deep understanding of each other. The Mess We Made was them a few years into that lifetime so they were still learning things about each other and experiencing things for the first time. I ended up kind of leaning into that difficulty with getting them to fight and tried to amp up the fighting to a few big blow-ups.

My timeline 23 fic is quickly becoming my most challenging though, it’s basically 3 or 4 full-length fics that sometimes crossover and then all end up mashed together. It’s pretty challenging.

Are there any themes or tropes that you particularly like to explore in your writing?

Angst, angst and more angst, lol. I am also a sucker for deep connections between people, be it romantic or otherwise, and really expose the good, the bad and the ugly about those relationships. So you know, more angst. But happy endings are my favorite too.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

I’m always inspired by all the other Magicians fanfiction writers (honestly, Magicians fanfiction is really the only fanfic I read right now)

Alice Sebold is probably my favorite writer. She has a way of writing emotion in a way that feels really real and honest to an almost uncomfortable degree. It’s almost too real. Also the authors of my youth, Ann M. Martin and Judy Blume, I wanted to write because of them.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

I am reading “Written in Blood” It’s a book looking into the death of Kathleen Peterson of Stairway fame. (I love true crime) Also, I’m actually reading The Magician King. My sister is reading the Magician’s books for the first time so I’m reading along with her so we can discuss. I also am keeping up on whatever comes up on AO3!

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Keep writing, whether it’s good or bad, just get it out and you can build on it later but it needs to be out there to fix.

Cringe time:

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

Oh man, I don’t know, I sometimes think everything I write is just a repeat of the last thing lol. Looked, people are always looking at each other and it’s hard to come up with different ways to express that.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

I wrote an American Girl fanfic. My best friend and I traveled back in time to 1774 and went on an adventure with Felicity! I still have it, in a notebook in a box in my closet. I have two boxes (not huge boxes or anything) of old diaries, journals and notebooks full of my writing. My parents didn’t want to throw that away growing up.

Rapid Fire Round:

Self-edit or Beta? Self-edit

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? All of the above!

Smut, Fluff or Angst? angst!!

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? Slow burn, the slower the better

Favourite season? 3

Favourite episode? A life in the day

Favourite book(The Magicians books)? The Magician King

Three favourite words? Triskaidekaphobia, Loquacious, Fuck

Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.

[ganglylimbs]

Analyzing the Gay

Ok, seeing rumors that there’s going to be another lgbtq+ character induced in the next volume of RW/BY, so I decided to go through who it most likely is and what I personally hope for (spoiler, reality and what I hope for don’t come anywhere near each other). 

Assuming it’s not going to be a new character induced into the show, judging by how they introduced Ilia, and how they’ve talked about how they want to handle LGBTQ+ characters, my guess is that they’re going to introduce them via relationship/relationship talking

And (I hate saying this because I dislike being rude to the writers) but we can probably forget about the LGBTQ+ character being the TQ+ part (honestly, I’m crossing my fingers for the B part but even then it’s 50/50). 

The top contender is the Bees becoming canon, especially because Barbara was the one to announce it. The only reason I can think why it’s not them is that (didn’t see the tweets/news myself so I don’t know if Barbara said character or characters) it would be introducing two lgbtq+ characters and the announcement was for only one new character (?) I know, it’s a nitpicky point, but if we’re just analyzing, then let’s analyze. 

I honestly think they are going to have the bees become canon because 1.) Barbara was the one to say it (implying that it has something to do with Yang) and 2.) if it’s not the bees, the Tumblr side of the fandom will riot. It’s a small, but, unfortunately,  loud group that will raise hell. I guarantee that if, with this announcement, the bees don’t become canon, there is going to be cries of queerbait. No matter who is announced as queer, they will claim that they were queerbaited.  Because there is a certain side that is obsessed with RWBY being queer-but only certain characters.

Here is the problem with that. First off, as certain as I am that the bees are becoming canon, I’m even more certain that Yang is the queer character. Like, no doubt in my mind, Yang is 100% queer. There is just so much evidence (even if you want to discount the songs, which I understand) there’s still a mountain of evidence that Yang has gay feelings of something. So let’s get that out of the way. Yang is queer in some sort of way and I 100% think she has a thing for Blake.  

If I were to make Yang the queer character and touch on the Bee subject, I would have Yang confess to Blake but Blake rejects her (ideally because Blake is aromantic. Not going to happen because, again, I doubt we’re going to get anything but LGB. Also, following my own nitpicky rules, that would be two queer people). So instead, to make it flow with the show, she says she’s not ready for a relationship (if, by some miracle, this all does happen this way, please let this be the excuse. Please, I beg. Because the other reason would be that she’s in love with Sun and even as a Blacksun shipper that would be bad. Bad, bad, bad. Just. Please don’t go that route.). So Yang is heartbroken, but they move on (because friends to the end and group as family, please and thank you). And what’s this? A relationship forms between Ilia and her? They form a kickass team? Ilia helps get Yang’s fire back and Yang introduces Ilia to all these great things that she was kept from while in the White Fang. They protect each other and it’s awesome.

You may be asking, why go to such lengths to shoot down a relationship already built up in the show, just to have one of the people get into another relationship?

Because, meta, I hate ship wars. I think they are a disease on fandoms and honestly, I’m tired of going into the tag and seeing posts about how x ship is better than y ship, or how y person is “abusive” so shipping them with x makes you abusive (which, hey fandom, we should probably discuss what is or isn’t someone being abusive. Your favorite character being sad or angry at someone is not them being abused). I’m sick of seeing posts about why one ship will not be canon or why one ship is better than the other. I’m tired of it.

And unfortunately, there are only two solutions to this problem (a third would be, as a whole, fandom holding each other accountable, but that will not happen because neither side can admit they are part of the problem. It’s always the other sides fault for the toxicity of the fandom, an easy excuse for people to continue being shitty.). So either both parts of the ships end up together in a poly ship of some sort (not going to happen) or neither ship happens. Which is what I prefer. (Especially to the god awful 4th option which is a love triangle. please. Just no.)

Anyways, none of that will happen because the fandom will riot, so I’m pretty sure the bees will become canon. In the story, I’ll love it because the two have great chemistry, a mountain of reasons why they should be together, and it’s a good love story. Out of canon, the fandom will be insufferable and I’ll hate it.

If I could have my choice for how queer Yang ends up (besides what I already wrote)  either she ends up with Ilia or with Weiss, because they have a budding romance there and I’d love to see it more. Or they introduce a new character in to be her love interest. If I could really get my way, despite the writer’s inexperience with lgbtq+ people, she’d be in a polyamorous relationship with two characters. 

Next is Blake. If Blake turns out to be the new queer character (and they don’t do bees) my guess is they build up her relationship with Ilia. 

Which brings me to something else I would like them to explore. Anime (and most stores with teenagers in general) tend to be focused on The One. On one hand, I totally get it. It’s a story and you have a limited time to focus on relationships. If it’s a romance book, people tend to not want to read about the main character constantly breaking up with people. In film, time is even more limited, so the main character falls in love with B and that's it. They live happily ever after. 

Except that’s not what happens with teenagers. 

So if I had my way, it’d be both Ilia and Blake falling in love with several other people before finally falling for each other. But if books and T.V. are limited for time, then wew, RWBY is even more limited. This isn’t a big sticking point and I honestly would love to see a relationship between Blake and Ilia. Especially a story of Blake helping Ilia heal and introducing her into a more loving lifestyle. 

(Actually, if I really had my way Blake would be aro, not only because it fits her perfectly, but because how great of representation would that be? An aro who has a loving relationship with her family, has a loving relationship with her friends, is a protagonist trying to get shit done? It would be amazing).  

If Weiss is the new queer character, I would think they will either try to build up Yang and her’s relationship, introduce a new character, or try to make Ruby/Weiss happen (which, for personal reasons, I rather they try to make Yang and her happen or the new character). 

But definitely, please, for Yang/Weiss. Because really, the building blocks of Yang/Weiss are there, even before vol. 5. There is a real connection there, and I’d love for them to explore them. 

And if I could really have it my way, I’d have them make Weiss trans too. 

If it turns out that Ruby is the new queer character they would either do Ruby/Weiss or this could be the reintroduction for Penny. I would be more than ok with that, especially if Penny 2 doesn’t remember Ruby and Ruby has to work at being friends again. And then that blossoms into a relationship and I love it. 

Really, if I could have it my way, I’d hope they make Ruby ace/aro. Again, a great representation with loving friends and family. 

Other possibilities for who the queer character is, are them introducing a new character into the show. Which I’m ok with, but I feel like that would get more complaints about how there are too many people in the cast. 

They also could reveal Winter as queer since they’re going back to Atlas and Weiss would want to reunite with her. I’d love this actually, especially if it involved Winter flirting with Ilia. 

Emerald is a great contender too. Her breaking down over Cinder and revealing that she loved her in a fit of anger? That would be great. (Another con is I’m pretty sure the fandom will do her dirty like they did Ilia when it was revealed that Ilia had feelings for Blake. Despite, you know, the fandom as a whole deciding both were queer beforehand-and this goes back to that small loud group only wanting certain characters to be queer.) 

A few more (admittedly cracky theories) could be them bringing back Scarlet (with the rest of team SSSN) and having him revealed as queer. 

If they want to make the fandom implode, have Jaune revealed as the queer person. While probably not, it could work to introduce someone who can help him process Pyhrra’s death, and not really heal him, but get him set in the right direction. Again, probably not because there’s already talk about him having too much screen time (which...could probably be another rant of mine) and because he already had a relationship and I feel like people would hold that against him. 

Out of left field is going to be Sun as the queer character. This is mostly just me wanting my boy to be happy and if the bees are going to happen, I want him to be with someone too. 

Another left field one is probably Oscar, which I think it would be interesting to explore. Like him already having all these problems to deal with as well as having a crush on someone? That’d be so interesting. I also wonder if this will get so many people going “uh, uh, uh, this boy can’t have any sexual/romantic thoughts at all because he has Ozpin in his head and that makes this pedophilia.” 

A few more is Qrow or Tai being queer. Ozpin, maybe? 

Anyway, after all of this, in conclusion, what most likely will happen is the bees become canon. If they don’t, I would love for Ilia to build up a relationship with one of the girls. Or have that Yang and Weiss’ relationship continues to develop. 

[techyblogger]

How to Stop GPT-3 From Stealing Your Content https://www.reddit.com/r/SEO/comments/mxn9ae/how_to_stop_gpt3_from_stealing_your_content/

Over the course of some 20-odd years, I've witnessed the web explode into something that probably not even Sir Timothy John Berners-Lee could have imagined. From the simple html page to the most advanced mobile app, the web has evolved into an impressive force to reckon with. But if you're not careful with how your own content is accessed, you could spend more time trying to protect your corner of the web than you spend building it.

For some people, the only alternative is to watch spiders, crawlers, and other bots whore their content out to anyone who'll pay for it all in the name of "automated content creation."

Say What?!

According to Imperva's 2020 Bad Bot Traffic Report, 37.2 percent of website visits are actually bot hits. That's an 18.1 percent increase from 2019. And it includes bots commonly used to steal copyrighted content. Some of the most popular content generators, including GPT-3, use these bots to illegally copy content and then sell bits and pieces of it to unsuspecting users. Not only is this a blatant disregard for copyright laws; it's a gateway crime that leads to plagiarized material.

This, despite one of the easiest things to understand about the copyright is in its name: copy + right. It literally means the right to copy something. And it's a right that always remains with the original creator.

Not a scraper.

And not a bot.

What Do I Mean by Gateway Crime?

Each time they're used to pirate someone else's material, they're being used to break the law. Since Internet bots cannot possibly be an original creator, they have no right to copy anything. So each time they're used to pirate someone else's material, they're being used to break the law. That's the crime.

The offenses don't stop there, of course. They continue with people who write with GPT generators and who unknowingly publish someone else's copyrighted material (quite possibly, yours) as their own. That's the plagiarism.

Even if the companies behind GPT generators sell their stolen goods under the guise of "re-written content", "AI content," or worse, "machine learned content" (eye-roll), you, as an original content creator, mustn't be fooled into thinking that what they're doing is anything but committing literary robbery.

Knuckleheads Don't Heed the Consequences

Aside from risking a DMCA defeat, people who use GPT generators risk having to pay royalties when caught or repay the profits that the original creator lost. A bank-breaking copyright lawsuit is always an unpleasant repercussion. So is jail time. It's enough to deter any normal person from plagiarizing.

The companies responsible for them?

Not so much.

They're a special breed that takes hard-headedness to a galactic level. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to stop them from stealing your content and selling it to unwitting writers now.

How to Thwart Content Thieves

MAKE PERISHABLEWEB YOUR FIRST STOP.

Read PerishableWeb's article on How to Block Bad Bots. PerishableWeb will show you how to block the bots used by GPT generators and other through your .htaccess file. Blocking them in your robots.txt file, as commonly recommended, is simply not enough.

You have to block them via your .htaccess file because content thieves don't give a damn about what's inside of a robots.txt file. They actively ignore it, in fact. You can tell by the number of sites that teach people how!

REGULARLY MONITOR YOUR TRAFFIC LOGS

You'll also have to monitor your traffic logs for suspicious (excessive) activity. If you notice, for example, a bunch of successive hits from one IP address, you're probably looking at a content thief, especially if those hits fail to load a webpage's accompanying images or scripts.

Want to see what's been stolen from you thus far? Have a look at your traffic logs right now and then search for IP addresses that start with 5., 52., 54., or 13.. If you see a bunch of them, your content is definitely being stolen and has probably been stolen numerous times in the past too. Those IP addresses belong to Amazon's cloud service, a service that some content generators love using to steal copyrighted material.

OTHER RECOMMENDED STRATEGIES

Some people rely on CAPTCHA, the Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart tool. Others may rely on commercial anti-bot services like CloudFlare. Both of those tools have varying success. Personally, I've found a reasonable amount of progress by doing a combination of things: (1) using a honeypot, (2) closely monitoring my traffic logs, and (3) blocking badly behaving IP addresses in my site's .htaccess file.

Every once in a while, you should copy a sentence from a page on your website and search for it as well. If you see the sentence in a search result that points to a website that isn't yours, your stuff's being stolen, and it's time to start filing DMCAs and/or looking at your legal options.

The Lucky 1%

Who makes up the one percent of bots that shouldn't be blocked, you ask? How about the bots that list your website in their search engine: Bingbot (Bing), googlebot (Google), Slurp (Yahoo), etc. If you're not sure whether you should block or allow a particular bot, however, ask yourself, "For what reason would this bot need to access all of my site's content?" If you can't think of a good reason, don't allow it.

There's absolutely no reason for just any bot to download all of your content, especially now that you know it could be stolen right from under you.

submitted by /u/josourcing [link] [comments] April 24, 2021 at 09:52PM

[brynwrites]

Part II: Writing the first draft.

Fore Note: This is the process I’m currently using to outline, write, and edit my novels. There are a million different ways to journey through the writing process, and the only ‘correct’ one is the one that works for you in the moment. Everyone’s writing process is a little bit different, and most writers (including myself) change theirs every few books as they figure out what techniques are most beneficial to them and for certain types of novels.

Unlike outlining and editing, I don’t change my first draft process much. The one thing I’ve added since I started writing consistently is the fourth step, which I only figured out I needed after struggling through editing The Warlord’s Contract.

1. Set a schedule with achievable goals.

This may be word counts, chapter numbers, key plot points — whatever keeps you most motivated. I like to have a different word count number to reach based on whether I had off from work that day or not, as well as a chapter goal for the week and an idea of how far along in a scene I should be by the end of my day’s writing.

Make sure you keep a record of these goals somewhere. Tell them to an accountability writing friend, post them on your wall with boxes to check as you finish them, write them on a list on your phone or blog. If it helps you, have a reward system in place for when you reach certain major goals.

2. Write without distractions.

Browsing the internet will always be easier then writing. The key to getting out a hefty word count is to take certain periods of time (15, 20, 40, or 60 minutes) in which you don’t leave your manuscript page for anything. So find someplace relaxing, away from people who will want your attention, mute your phone and close the internet, and just write.

3. Take breaks.

This might mean setting aside one day a week not to write, the last four or five days of the month, or perhaps writing a lot on the weekends and leaving the weekdays for school or work.

Sometimes it’s helpful to give yourself a free “mental health day” you can use every couple weeks*, wherein you do something self care oriented during the time you would normally take to write.

* You should be consistently monitoring your own mental heath and know how many days you personally need to take off in order to take care of yourself. It doesn’t matter what number this ends up being, so long as you’re actually using them to take care of yourself, and not pulling them like get out of jail free cards for whenever you feel lazy. If you give yourself more then you need for a particular week or month, then just don’t use them all. 

4. Take notes.

Notes? What notes? This is something I still struggle with, but if you’re like me and you hate filling out character and world building questionnaires before you write, then it’s incredibly helpful in the long run.

Identify what aspects of the story you like to wing, and then record the things you create as you go. A few techniques you could try to help you take notes as you write:

Plug key plot or character developments into a timeline.

Make a table with all the information you’re developing, based on categories that make sense to you.

Copy and paste key sentences or descriptions into another document.

Tag your scenes with any topics expanded upon within them. (Only certain programs have a function for this, but you can make up your own if via the find button and hashtags below the chapter title.)

Alternately write down a list of the unique terms you used so you can find them again easily when you need to check things.

5. Overcome procrastination and writer’s block.

I’ve covered these topics in more depth in these posts...

How to deal with procrastination.

When writer’s block stalls your story.

The key concepts there can be boiled down to:

Switch it up. Do something different then you’ve been doing and/or do it in a new way and/or in a new place. As it is in all things in life, the longer you struggle without change, the harder your struggle will become. If you’re unable to move forward in your writing, another type of change may trick your brain into feeling like you’ve accomplished something.

Let yourself fail. Your first draft won’t be perfect. Failure is what teaches us to succeed in the future. Continue telling yourself that and then tell it to your friends a well. Talk about it until you begin to finally believe it yourself. 

This has been Part II: Writing. You can also find Part I: Outlining and Part III: Editing.

[howtociteamoviein205]

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[junker-town]

Check out our new NFL mock draft, right here

D’Andre Swift is RB most likely to be a first-round pick in the 2020 NFL Draft.

Georgia’s D’Andre Swift is the only ball carrier worth a first-round pick.

aThe 2020 NFL Draft is less than two weeks away. And it can’t get here soon enough.

The weekly mock drafts are driving me to delirium. How so, you ask? This week’s mock draft features a running back in the first round. The nerve.

But seriously, a lot of the first round feels firmed up. That might be the case because less news than ever is getting out following the cancellation of pro day visits.

Of course, that all means nothing is firmed up. Well, except the top two picks. Here’s this week’s look at how things could shake out:

1. Cincinnati Bengals: Joe Burrow, QB, LSU

Burrow’s home in Athens County, Ohio, is about three miles from Cincinnati. That means he is essentially going home to Cincinnati, making it almost a Hollywood script.

“If I happen to be the first pick this year, I’m coming back home,” Burrow recently said on Shaquille O’Neal’s The Big Podcast. “And I think that’ll make a lot of people feel a lot better.”

2. Washington: Chase Young, DE, Ohio State

There was a report recently that teams picking outside the top three haven’t even bothered to reach out to Young. It makes sense considering there isn’t a chance he falls outside the top three. In fact, it would be a shock to see him not go to Washington. The jerseys should already be printed up.

3. Detroit Lions: Jeff Okudah, CB, Ohio State

Is this selection starting to be locked in as much as the first two picks? Unless Detroit trades down to a team wanting a quarterback, it kinda feels that way. Okudah is the consensus best cornerback in the draft, and one of the top five prospects available. Not only does he start immediately on a Detroit team desperate for secondary help, but he should enter the season as the Defensive Rookie of the Year favorite.

4. New York Giants: Tristan Wirfs, OT, Iowa

Should the Giants take an offensive tackle or Clemson super defender Isaiah Simmons? I’m still stuck on an offensive tackle for the Giants. Wirfs is a player who could get looked at for either side of the line in New York and start wherever he fits best.

5. Miami Dolphins: Justin Herbert, QB, Oregon

We’ll see what happens over the next two weeks, but it seems like more people have the Dolphins taking Herbert than Tua Tagovailoa at this point. It’s one of the more fascinating late developments in this draft season and will likely go down to the wire.

6. Los Angeles Chargers: Tua Tagovailoa, QB, Alabama

Tagovailoa had yet another round of positive injury reports recently, but teams still have to be worried a little bit. They may not be concerned enough to knock Tagovailoa out of the top 10, though they could cause him to be the third quarterback drafted.

7. Carolina Panthers: Derrick Brown, DT, Auburn

For much of this draft process, the Panthers have been associated with Brown. For good reason, too. The Panthers last season finished 29th in the NFL in rushing yards allowed, and last in rushing yards per attempt. Add the loss of linebacker Luke Kuechly onto that, and Carolina has a big problem. Brown could remedy the team’s run defense issues, and give Carolina a player who can create pressure up the middle. That’s why he gets the nod over Clemson’s Isaiah Simmons. For now.

8. Arizona Cardinals: Jedrick Wills, OT, Alabama

In our SB Nation NFL writers’ mock draft, this pick ended up being Oklahoma wide receiver CeeDee Lamb. While there are fun built-in storylines of Lamb playing with former college teammate Kyler Murray, a blocker with this pick just makes more sense to me. Wills locked the right tackle spot down for Alabama the past two seasons and is NFL ready, particularly in terms of run blocking. He needs to fix up little parts of his game — namely, blocking inside rush moves — but he can help keep Murray’s pocket clean.

9. Jacksonville Jaguars: Isaiah Simmons, LB, Clemson

Do the Jaguars actually need Simmons after signing former Cleveland Browns linebacker Joe Schobert to a five-year deal? Sort of. Don’t forget, Simmons is a positionally vague player. He’s just as effective dropping in coverage as he is coming up and stopping the run. When Jacksonville took defensive end Josh Allen in last year’s draft, they proved they’re willing to go best player available over needs. This year’s version could be Simmons.

10. Cleveland Browns: Mekhi Becton, OT, Louisville

I would say this is a “run to the podium” pick for the Browns, but there will be no podiums this year. Maybe general manager Andrew Berry will break his keyboard after typing M-E-K-H-I B-E-C-T-O-N so fast. Still, I can’t shake the notion the Browns might want to trade down for some reason.

11. New York Jets: Andrew Thomas, OT, Georgia

The ongoing question about the Jets continues: wide receiver or offensive tackle? Offensive tackle or wide receiver? My choice is always the offensive tackle. We all know by now how deep the wide receiver class is this year. The Jets can still get a starting wide receiver with the 48th pick. The same usually can’t be said for an offensive tackle.

12. Las Vegas Raiders: CeeDee Lamb, WR, Oklahoma

“We don’t have enough outside speed,” Raiders general manager Mike Mayock said at the Senior Bowl this year. He also added, generally, that the wide receiver position has to get better for the Raiders. Lamb doesn’t have the pure speed like Henry Ruggs III of Alabama, but it’s more than good enough when you combine it with his ability to slip out of tackles.

13. San Francisco 49ers (via Indianapolis Colts): Jerry Jeudy, WR, Alabama

TERRIBLE SPORTS WRITING ALERT: Things went pretty well for the 49ers the last time they took a Jerry in the draft. The year was 1985, and the player was Jerry Rice. I think you know the rest of this story, nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Someone, please, fast forward life to April 23 already.

14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Josh Jones, OT, Houston

Yes, this is the fifth offensive tackle off the board within the first 14 picks. But offensive tackle is a position we’ve seen overdrafted in the past. Remember last year when the Texans used the 23rd pick on Tytus Howard of Alabama State? Or the Raiders in 2018 taking Kolton Miller 15th? Hopefully Jones works out if he’s drafted this highly — and his athletic profile suggests he might — but getting protection for Tom Brady is critical.

15. Denver Broncos: Henry Ruggs III, WR, Alabama

Ruggs has been the pick for the Broncos countless times at this point. He was even the pick by Scotty Payne of Mile High Report in the writers’ mock draft. I sort of want to spend the next week poking holes in the Ruggs to Denver connection.

16. Atlanta Falcons: Javon Kinlaw, DT, South Carolina

The Falcons would be ecstatic to see Kinlaw still available with the No. 16 pick. Arguably one of the draft’s 10 best players, Kinlaw is a physical freak who can be used to rush the passer from the inside. He has length to bat down passes and enough athleticism to kick outside at times.

17. Dallas Cowboys: Xavier McKinney, S, Alabama

The Dallas secondary needs some help. That’s why McKinney gets the nod over a pass rusher. McKinney can play safety and cornerback, and is comfortable doing both. Starting two years at Alabama, McKinney should be able to adjust quickly to the NFL. While he can play single- or two-high safety, he works in the box and will cover the slot.

18. Miami Dolphins (via Pittsburgh Steelers): K’Lavon Chaisson, Edge, LSU

Ever since the Dolphins wasted a first-round pick on Charles Harris in 2017, the team has been lacking an outside pass rusher. Bringing in Shaq Lawson and Emmanuel Ogbah was smart, but the Dolphins could still use a rush specialist like Chaisson.

19. Las Vegas Raiders (via Chicago Bears): CJ Henderson, CB, Florida

Should the Raiders land a wide receiver with their first pick, they should not hesitate to use the 19th selection on a cornerback. That’s especially true if Henderson is available. Unquestionably the No. 2 cornerback in this draft, Henderson is a natural pass defender who knows how to time routes and can stick with all varieties of receiver.

20. Jacksonville Jaguars: (via Los Angeles Rams): Yetur Gross-Matos, Edge, Penn State

The Yannick Ngakoue rumor mill has begun to start spinning wildly as he continually talks about departing Jacksonville despite getting a franchise tag designation. If the Jaguars want to replace him, Gross-Matos is a solid option as an outside player. Gross-Matos had 17.5 sacks over his final two seasons at Penn State, and knows how to use his length and quickness to beat blockers. Sure, he has to get better against the run, but so did Ngakoue coming out of Maryland.

21. Philadelphia Eagles: Justin Jefferson, WR, LSU

If they wanted, the Eagles probably could have gone after free agent receivers Robby Anderson, Randall Cobb, Breshad Perriman, or Emmanuel Sanders. But they didn’t and all four signed elsewhere. That leaves the Eagles to the draft, and potentially Jefferson. He had 111 receptions for LSU last season, and anything close to that production in the NFL would be well worth the 21st pick.

22. Minnesota Vikings (via Buffalo Bills): Jeff Gladney, CB, TCU

It would be easy to see Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer falling in love with Gladney. The aggressive TCU cornerback is exactly what the Vikings need in their secondary. Gladney is a tone setter at cornerback who can lock down a team’s lead receiver. As the Vikings continue to have problems at the position, Gladney can be their solution.

23. New England Patriots: Jordan Love, QB, Utah State

Yep, I’m back on Love to the Patriots. For starters, I don’t see him falling out of the first round. And if he’s there when New England picks, Bill Belichick might have a hard time passing up on Love’s pure talent.

24. New Orleans Saints: Kenneth Murray, LB, Oklahoma

Although the Saints have All-Pro linebacker Demario Davis, their other linebackers — specifically Alex Anzalone and Kiko Alonso — have battled numerous injuries. Plus, Davis is a free agent after this season. Murray would give the Saints a young, athletic talent at the position, and the team could start to focus on building up the defense as quarterback Drew Brees’ career winds down.

25. Minnesota Vikings: Denzel Mims, WR, Baylor

I’m back on this pick for the Vikings at No. 25. As the draft gets closer, it seems like Mims is going to be a first-round pick. That means he leapfrogs receivers like Tee Higgins of Clemson and Jalen Reagor of TCU. Part of the reason could be recency bias. Mims had a stellar Senior Bowl and NFL Scouting Combine. In this bizarre year, the mark Mims has left could matter more than ever.

26. Miami Dolphins (via Houston Texans): D’Andre Swift, RB, Georgia

If there is one team that could take a running back in the first round of the draft, it is the Dolphins. And if there is one running back who should go in the first round of the draft this year, it is Swift. The Georgia product is like a combination of former Bulldog running backs Nick Chubb and Sony Michel. Swift’s vision is exactly what you want in a running back, and he is special as a pass catcher. He’s the kind of back who can be kicked out into the slot and generate a mismatch for the offense. You can argue the value of a first-round running back all you want. But it’s hard to see Swift failing in the NFL.

27. Seattle Seahawks: Austin Jackson, OT, USC

This isn’t a corny Pete Carroll/USC pick. This is more of a high-ceiling gamble on Jackson for the Seahawks. Coming into the year, many thought Jackson had top-10 talent. That type of player is still in there if he gets the proper coaching. Jackson’s foot quickness is impressive, and he can handle speed rushers well.

28. Baltimore Ravens: Patrick Queen, LB, LSU

At some point early in this draft, the Ravens have to address the middle linebacker position. Why not in the first round with Queen? Both Josh Bynes and Patrick Onwuasor left Baltimore this offseason, and the position is clearly an issue.

29. Tennessee Titans: Isaiah Wilson, OT, Georgia

This is the late first-round pick I’ve really fallen in love with the last couple weeks. Wilson is a mountain at 6’6 and 350 pounds, and he could still be growing after turning just 21 in February. Wilson’s standout ability right now is as a run blocker. Tennessee was third in the NFL in rushing last season and could continue that trend with Wilson replacing Jack Conklin.

30. Green Bay Packers: Brandon Aiyuk, WR, Arizona State

Green Bay’s need for a wide receiver has been obvious for quite some time. The players the Packers have currently have been inconsistent, besides Davante Adams. Green Bay never properly replaced Randall Cobb after the 2018 season, either. Aiyuk can be the dependable No. 2 receiver the Packers have needed.

31. San Francisco 49ers: Kristian Fulton, CB, LSU

The 49ers will need help in the secondary sooner rather than later, and Fulton could be their next lead cornerback. Fulton may not create a lot of interceptions (he had just two at LSU), but he knows how to break up passes thanks to his instincts and timing.

32. Kansas City Chiefs: A.J. Epenesa, DE, Iowa

The Chiefs would probably love to see Murray or Queen available here, but they’re both gone. If that’s the case and the Chiefs don’t trade down, they could target a defensive lineman like Epenesa. He would give the Chiefs a good player opposite Frank Clark, and one who has the ability to work outside and inside.