#my confidence is low rn
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Sukuna Madonna Whore Complex On My Mind
#idk why I’m thinking abt this man#actually I know bc I read something that was like ‘he decided not to k*ll your baby and you were so grateful it was awesome being his wife”’#and ofc when things piss me off but are kinda interesting I have to correct them#anyway u have his kid and he can never touch you again but I do think he starts listening to what u say#it’s weird#anyway uhhhhh#bye ig#I have way more on this I just don’t wanna freak ppl out#my confidence is low rn#caitie blabs
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#twisted wonderland#twistedwonderlandfanart#malleus draconia#i kinda dont like the way im arting rn#maybe i'll take a break#or maybe its just my self low confidence#either way#sorry for disappearing#haha lol#:)
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Mystery!! Intrigue!! It’s !!
…a work in progress, lol. I’ve had this idea for a long time, I’ve just never been sure that it’s any good. Can’t know until you try : P
#sorry for my low quality art this is just a bunch of concept stuff#again it’s a work in progress!!!#cringing at myself so hard rn#wishing I had papyrus’s confidence aahhh#feel free to send asks about it but I really can’t answer much lol#ALSO I MAY DELETE THIS#undertale#utdr#undertale fanart#papyrus#papyrus undertale#undertale art#my art#sans#alphys#wd gaster#bpbc au
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Entering depressed dreamty wave era of the month, I’ll excuse myself for being moody, I randomly feel like crying on the floor.
#so uh you know when you realize you have a patern and smell that you’re approaching a period where you’ll feel extremely low ?#that me rn#I’m starting to feel weird and i’m self aware enough to know that mean I’m slowly falling under a wave of negative feelings and that at any#given moment I’ll be having an emotional meltdown#so like I’m feeling a bit sad but I know that soon i’ll feel BIG sad#kinda like seing the water dissapearing on a beach and knowing a tsunami approach#so I’ll excuse myself in advance for being emotionally tired and in general constantly sad#i know i’m very open on this blog about moments where I feel down#but I don’t want to be seen as ‘the girl who can’t shut up about being sad’#i can’t shut up in general#so i do end up not closing my mouth when feeling strong emotion of sadness#also i need a therapist but for personal reasons can’t get one#which sucks#am I trauma dumping here ? definetly#will I’ll probably delete this later out of shame ? surely#that a lot of tags because i don’t feel like saying this out loud on text#I think i’m annoying#most of the time I’m sure that I am#lacking self confidence suck#anyway#dreamty’s ramble#tw vent#vent
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Sometimes I am this very bossy, busy, ambitiously driven woman juggling a hundred different things that I want to do and be good at and then at night when I speak to him I feel like a soft flower who can rest and then start the next day with the golden sunshine
#samridhi speaks#ashuuuuuu#eager to write a few smol poems to him but rn I have exams to focus on#🧿🧿🧿🧿#also he is such a green forest#so understanding loving and tender#sometimes I think kya punya kiye jo yeh mila#low key want to tell my mother about him but first gotta break the news to my twin brother#and then to my mother#like once mumma is confident about him she will adore him too just like I do#also I learn so much from him#this post is so sweet like chasni but God I will be cringe because prem rog
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if my friend cancels on me again tonight i'm gonna cry
#I SHOULD BE AT THE CLUB. god.#everyone place your bets now am i gonna get canceled on for the fourth weekend in a row or am i finally gonna have a night out#she has not answered my confirmation text in over two hours so my confidence is low rn tbh
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btw not to be annoying but I'm in a huge drawing rut right now and almost everything I've made the past few weeks feels like garbo to me so if anyone has any X Reader requests from medias on my F/O list you want done, now would be a great time to send them in
#proship please interact#Proselfship#Proship selfship#I have a few I've been drafting and deleting and redrafting for a bit now#I'm back and forth on motivation but I think I'm done drawing for the season#We'll get back to it in the new year for the next two months let's just write#I get a lot more confidence from requests that gain reblogs than just writing for me myself and I#Don't get me wrong I love writing for me myself and I it's the cornerstone of this blog#Make what you want to see in fandom and do whatever you want forever kind of thinking#But oh my god when someone else thinks my writing for a specific character is good and wants to read more and reblogs it with tags and stuf#Literally nothing fixes me faster#Sorry to pull like two selfishes in a row in the main tags#I feel like I'm on a lot of shit lists for asking people to move the 'stolen from an anti' into the tags#I don't apologize for that but I saw some posts fdkgjkdf plus I kicked people from my server for low reason recently#I DO apologize for that a little bit#ANYWAY these tags are weird sorry#I'm gonna try to write some things that's been in my ask box for a year now and see where that goes#Sorry for the selfish in the main tags I'm really off my game rn
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Rant incoming concerning fatphobia:
I find it superrrr vexing and distasteful whenever someone threatens me with the 'do you want to become fat' thing. I understand that since my natural body frame is being thin, it'd indicate bad things for my health if I do become fat (if you're naturally born big, then getting bigger probably won't mean anything too bad) but I just deeply resent the underlying implication of it all. Like ofc it's better for me in a societal sense to be thin, especially since I don't have a thick skin to negative comments at all, but like?? If you want to scold me in order to make me eat more healthily, just cite health reasons! There's literally no reason to bring up fatness!! What's everyone's deal?? Is it a crime to be fat?? Smh 💀
Some ppl act as if ppl automatically become ugly when they're fat which is just blatantly untrue. And in the first place I'm not even particularly good-looking so it's not gonna be the end of my world if I get bigger. Ofc if being fat negatively affects me physically and/or mentally then I think those are good causes for concern but at least lead with that if you're truly concerned about me for god's sake
#tate lin posts#fatphobia#body neutrality#btw i'm on the camp of believing that it's not necessary to love or even like your body#but it is necessary to be comfortable in it and have it be a good body that can last you to elderly-hood without causing too much#or if any problems#at any rate i just hate the feeling of being bullied into sth by society#i'm aware that i have some self-esteem issues but my confidence isn't that low either!!#i have pride too!!#SIGH#anyway don't mind me i'm just really irritated rn#btw this vent is brought to you cause of my mother who considers herself fat#but if you ask me she doesn't look like an atypical woman at all#a lot of ppl are around her size#and she's my mother so obviously to me she's really pretty#most ppl who think they're fat actually aren't imo#comparison to media just makes them feel fatter than they actually are#and it's not that i don't have flab i absolutely do cause i'm the most physically unfit in this household#both my sisters go to the gym and they're twice my size does that make their 'fatness' their fault?? no.
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Man sized was too fucking good - you are SO talented
thank u ahh 😭 i’m so glad you enjoyed it
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the demons won, i'm rewatching hannibal
#im not doing great therefore i need my comfort mystery people eating show#my confidence in my blogs rn is non existant but at least i have will graham#*[ OOC : MEDIA COMMENTARY ] . . . the chances of me shutting up are low
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im such a slut for him its not even funnyyyyy
#in my hoe era rn#(i say that with 0 confidence in myself and super low self esteem fhshfhd)#but that wont stop me from having feelingssssdsss ✌️
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Tiphereth suppression finally complete babeyyyy
#rat rambles#lisa my beloved <3#her brother also exists ig.#I did it first try too which honestly is a relief it took forever idk how many times I could handle doing all that#which also means that the other two are now ready for their core suppressions which is both exiting and scary#exciting because it means that I can tell alruine to fuck off#scary because red mist boss fight 😔#I have no idea what to expect but tbh I rly cant be any more prepared than I already am#I have all the aleph gear not counting apocalypse bird and white night gear#and I have all the waw gear except for the one waw I havent gotten yet#in fact there's only 4 abnos I havent gotten yet I think and two of those are toold#I might stall a bit by memory repositing until I get those out of the way but I also might not idk#what I am starting to have to think abt tho is the two side bosses I previously mentioned#I do think apocalypse bird might be doable for me rn but white knight is a more tricky story#mostly because quite frankly I dont have 12 employees available to sacrifice to start the fight#I can obviously just make some new throaway guys but still#now setting up apocalypse bird would also be annoying since I currently only have judgement bird in my facility#rly Im just not sure which of my guys can or cant handle either boss#cause I do need the manpower but I also just am not confident that most of the gear my guys have will do them much good#now one thing that may be kind of pointless but I still wanna do is get silent orchestras ego gift on one of my guys#because god damn is that a powerful buff even if white damage isnt that common outside of anbno breaches#it would be fun in the sense that thatd make my girl able to solo any abnos that deal white damage#again its good dont get me wrong its just definitely smth that isnt as widly applicable as youd think#but yeah ideally I dont wanna do another day one reset and I rly do think this could be the run#the only reason I reset my first one rly was because I had gotten bored grinding for gear and also just wanted to finish my abno info#collection easier since there was a shit load of low level abnos I was missing#now the only ''''low level'''' abno Im missing is plague doctor for well. obvious reasons.#so yeah I should be pretty good and done with my info gathering within a session or two#tbh I dont even know what the wellfare meltdown looks like but Im much less scared of it than the boss fights I have up ahead#stinky b is also going to be tricky but Im hoping it wont be too bad
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sometimes i forget im getting a professional art degree. how did i get here. i literally just want to make art for furries and freaks, who let me in here with the painting and sculpture majors. put me back in cartoon class.
#having to take a professional art business class rn where im learning about like portfolios and artist statements and stuff.#and all the examples and readings are: 'how to get your art sold to a museum for 2000 dollars' which. Not Helpful for Me Personally.#literally todays reading was like: 'i know youre gonna wanna price your art at like a million dollars' and im like.#buddy i struggle to ask for 20 bucks. your experiences are Not Universal. where are the art selling guides for people with low confidence.#chayos speaks#hopefully i graduate next semester and i can be done with all this 🤞HOPEFULLY.#this post matches nicely with my immediate previous post of funny fursona dance i did instead of homework. my priorities.
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Shellycoat
#heyo again posting in the ol tags#At a moral quandary but I guess I'll update yous on my life while I think of a way to sound it out#I am currently single. This is a big deal for me because I am coming to terms with my status as a serial monogamist#I think my ex has been not single longer than I have so I'm not feeling guilty about it. Just feels weird being single is all.#I'm doing the whole dating thing again. Have been on 2. First one I stayed at her spare room and freaking cried. Haven't spoken to her sinc#Second one I stayed in her spare room and she stayed with her roommate. Both times I didn't want things to go physical. Both over now.#The second one I was more optimistic for tho.Prominent thing was that she wanted me to date her and others. So I'm not exclusive with anyon#And I still maintain that. Doesn't feel good bc when I go on a date with one it feels like I'm cheating on the others.#But i have such low confidence that I don't want to turn anyone down or keep anyone waiting for me to ask them out. So idk what I'm doing#anyway. moral quandary. I just realized I can't actually talk about it. But I have to choose advancing my own career at the cost of my sou#it would be really nice to get some big £$£$ but I'd have to sort of betray new boss a little. Who has already given me permission to do so#it doesn't feel right. Shellycoat here is from new project. Ugh I dunno. I think I'm going o have to sell out just a little.#Bein single again shows me how behind I am for my age. Still can't drive still living with my best pal. Probably goin bald soon#then again I've been saying that for years now. Maybe I have a few years left of it. But yeah. I don't earn very much rn. When I get those#questionaires I'm often in the lowest bracket so i'm like “I am among the poorest of ppl then??” One lady stopped talking to me when I#told her I rented a flat. Which implies a lot of men my age own property already. But did they get them with their morals intact or did the#have to do a bit of backstabbing on the way? Anyway. I guess I'm happy that I'm not just whining about my love life.Maybe being single is o#still wanting to get out there. Maybe I'll make another post about that or whenever I'm not single lol
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genuinely in love with this job. just a merchandiser stocking a couple frozen food products. but fuck i get to work alone (most of the time) spend a couple hours out and about vibing (eventually with music when i buy a headset).
#vital work for capitalism and pays a pittance of course#still more than i expected at 16/hr and part time so like no benefits#but fuck it's nice and a great way to get some money rn and still have the energy to work on coding#so i can eventually just get a home web dev job maybe we'll see my self confidence in those skills is very low no matter how much i can do#personal
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UM
#I went to have a meal at a restaurant I live close to. sit-down place that plays kind of loud music#just eatin alone and chillin out#but there’s this quiet transition between songs and I hear someone a table over say#‘he looks like an atrophied corpse’ while gesturing in my direction#his friends giggled like they’d done something sneaky. idk#maybe they weren’t talking about me but#my confidence is so fucking low rn. I definitely didn’t need to hear that#gonna wonder every time I go out for coffee or lunch now if I’m giving atrophied corpse vibes#gay men in LA can be really fucking mean if they think you’re also a gay man ftr#and—low confidence time—I guess he wouldn’t be wrong
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