#my cat is going to be so mad when I have to get up to take out the baking clay

[dokyumms]

operation: hug me

pairing: woozi x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2.3k

cw: none? reader staying on that only-sleeping-with-a-stuffed-animal agenda, way too much backstory bc i yap

a/n: hey kings, writing this instead of a request as a late bday gift to my moot @lavoilee!! not sure who ur svt bias is so i chose randomly lolol, hope you enjoy!! getting back to doing requests in shorter amounts of time, i just had a hard time thinking of smth good for this haha

jihoon is a weird guy.

okay, let's rephrase that: he's been acting like a weird guy. you can't tell if he's mad at you or in love with you, and you're determined to find out what's up.

it all started one afternoon at a café with your friend. you were both chatting around, just catching up. as both of you sipped on your coffees, the topic had gone from work, to gossip, to... medical check ups?

"how've you been sleeping? 'cause i sure have not been sleeping well," she'd asked randomly, widening her eyes in exasperation and taking another sip of her drink.

"hasn't been that great for me either," you sighed truthfully, recalling the sleepless nights you'd been having since jihoon had been on tour and started promotions for his comeback right after. you were truly proud of him, but it sure did suck not having him to hold onto when he would stay at the studio for the night.

your friend giggled, "why? because your 'jihoonie' hasn't been home?" she teased, mocking the name you accidentally called him while she was over at your place a couple months ago. "oh my god, stop it." you slapped her on the shoulder.

"you know i'm right, though." she teased again, wavering when you glared at her. "okay, okay, but i'm being serious. i remember when my boyfriend went on a business trip i was up all night," she exaggerated, rolling her eyes when you raised an eyebrow at her "up all night as in tossing and turning till my alarm went off. anyways, i ended up buying a stuffed animal to replace him, and it worked! maybe i should start using that again..."

"hm, maybe that'll help," you pondered, writing a reminder to search for one before another conversation began to sprout out of your friend.

that evening, you spent yet another restless night looking through the internet, finally settling on a moderately sized stuffed animal of a black cat after a couple hours of searching. after typing down your (jihoon's) credit card number, your phone vibrated with a call from your boyfriend.

you set your laptop aside and accepted the call, "hoon?"

"hey, babe. um, na pd just kidnapped us again- i'm going to be in france for a week. i'm really sorry, i promise you i didn't know about it till today..."

it took everything in your power not to let out a sigh, but he seemed to tell.

"i understand if you're mad or suspicious, hell, i'd be too. let me facetime you so i can show you that i'm really being kidnapped."

you hummed in response, accepting the facetime call that popped up on your phone not a second later. it was laggy for sure, but you could tell he was at an airport and that hoshi and wonwoo were seated next to him. they both waved happily.

"sorry he couldn't be home y/n! don't get too mad at him- hey!" hoshi called, yelping when wonwoo slapped him.

"ignore him, you should be as mad as you please." wonwoo smiled before hoshi pounced on him. jihoon turned the camera back to him.

"yeah, that's how it's been going. i'll call you as often as i can, okay? i'll make it up to you somehow."

ugh, you couldn't be mad at that, so holding back a sigh, you put on the most undisappointed smile you could muster. "it's okay jihoon, have fun okay? send me lots of photos."

he smiled back, "okay, i love you. and it's late, go to sleep soon, please." he finally said, waiting for you to say it back before he waved a goodbye and hung up.

you flopped back on the couch in disappointment- another week of this? could you even take more of it? "at least i could put that thing to use," you thought as sleep finally began to take over.

two days later, you opened a brown box to reveal a vacuum sealed black blob. you wondered if you got scammed after cutting the plastic off to reveal a slightly less smushed black blob with cat ears. nonetheless, it was too late to return it now, so you just went on with your day, abandoning it in your room.

when you came back that evening, however, you were greeted by the cat you were promised in all of its stuffed glory. now that it was inflated, you could see that the money paid had been worth it. happy with your purchase, you quickly took a shower and got ready for bed.

by 11pm, you were in bed, wrapping up a facetime call with jihoon as the stuffed animal laid besides you. you were both saying your goodbyes when he noticed it next to you.

"did you get a cat?"

you let out a confused noise before looking around you to find the cat he was referring to.

"this? no, it's just a stuffed animal," you explained, holding up the cat plush and waving it in the camera.

"ah, i see. why'd you get it?"

"oh, you know... just to help..." you answered sheepishly in embarrassment. he raised an eyebrow at your answer then simply nodded.

"hm, well.. enjoy it while it lasts. goodnight to you, love you." he said quickly, hanging up right after, leaving you confused with a hand still on the cat.

"enjoy it while it lasts? how weird." you mumbled, sending a quick message in confusion before laying down. it was weird; with the stuffed animal underneath your arms, the bed all of the sudden seemed more comfortable, and a sudden feeling of coziness filled you. you felt less alone.

and before you were able to silence your phone, turn on white noise, everything you normally did to help you sleep, you were passed out.

so, with the success of that night, you began to sleep with it everyday. it really did seem to work, and you made a mental note to thank your friend when you saw her again.

before you knew it, it was the night before jihoon was said to return to korea. you sent him a message, telling him you were going to sleep and laid down with your newfound cuddle buddy. you wrapped your arms around the cat, and fell sound asleep within minutes.

this is where the weirdness began.

you woke up, stirring to the sound of your door opening to find jihoon in the room, suitcase in one hand and wearing a weird expression. it was weirdly neutral, yet still made you uneasy. he looked... mad?

"hoon? you said you weren't coming back till tomorrow.." you murmured. "why do you look like that?"

"look like what?"

"you look mad" you said truthfully, rubbing your eye to get a better look at him.

"i'm not mad? i think you're still sleepy." he said, walking over and joining you on the bed. he tried to get closer to you but was blocked by something. "what's this?"

"i told you, i got a stuffed animal." you answered sleepily holding it up in front of him. "hm, well you don't need it." he said, grabbing it and tossing it across the room.

"hey, be nice to juni."

"you named it??"

"yeah, so what. meanie." you told him, turning away from him. you weren't actually mad, about 5 seconds away from turning back around to hug him, but he sighed before you could do anything. he scooted closer, wrapping his arms around you and somehow getting (more like manhandling) you to turn around.

"babe, i'm sorry. i missed you a lot. i don't know why i threw the cat- i mean juni." he apologized sincerely before nuzzling into your neck, throwing you completely off guard.

you had not meant for him to take your 'sulking' seriously, and also, you two had never cuddled like this, with him being the little spoon. it wasn't that you minded, but jihoon was never big on physical affection in the first place, so it was odd, but nonetheless, you accepted it.

"hoonie, it's fine. i don't care about it that much," you giggled, stroking his hair. "i'm just glad you're home, you came earlier than i thought." you commented. he nodded in response. "just wanted to surprise you." is all he said, snuggling into you further before knocking out.

the only problem was that after about a week of sleeping with the cat, it sort of became a habit, so the same thing happened for the next 3 days. you would fall asleep with the cat, wake up to jihoon looking mad at you, and then he would start cuddling with you as if he was a whole different person.

which leads you to now.

instead of consulting with him like a normal person, you decide to go to your friend, the same one who suggested getting the stuffed animal in the first place.

"isn't it obvious?" she says after hearing your story. you're both at the same café, sipping the same drinks and everything. you look at her in confusion. "if it was obvious, i don't think i'd be asking? come on, just tell me." you plead, desperate to get your boyfriend to stop scaring you in the middle of the night.

"fine, fine. i'll tell you... he obviously wants you to cuddle with him!"

"yeah, that's what we've been doing. for the past 4 years we've been dating" you deadpan, but she just rolls her eyes at you. "okay yeah, but not like that." she explains, rolling her eyes again when you're dumbfounded.

"he wants you to cuddle with him like how you cuddle that cat! duh! is that not how you hug it or what?" she exaggerates, nearly standing up at how oblivious you are. you take a minute to think back to the last couple nights.

huh, maybe she's right (again? seriously, you got to stop boosting her ego). you normally slept with the stuffed animal with it tucked under your head, was jihoon really jealous of that? come to think of it, he'd always been the big spoon, but it's not like you two had assigned roles to each other or anything, so why would he wait so long just for you to cuddle with him like that? must be some weird double standard bullshit.

anyways, now you have a plan. the goal? to get jihoon to admit his fears once and for all (and partially for him to stop looking at you weirdly in the middle of the night).

when you get home, jihoon's passed out on the couch. not a problem. you go along with your day, finish some coursework, and then get ready for bed. essentially, you do everything you'd do on a normal day, but when it's time for bed, you call out for your boyfriend.

"jihoon! shouldn't you go shower?" you ask. he groans from the living room, shuffling around before entering the bedroom, opening some drawers and pulling out random clothes from it. "i'll be back soon," he says, entering the bathroom. "i'll wait for you～" you sing song back.

only 15 minutes later, he's walking out of the bathroom in his usual sleep wear, no shirt and black shorts. if this had been around 4 years ago when you started living together, you would've gawked at the sight, but by now you were used to it (more like, you learned how to control your reaction).

you put down your phone and watch intently as he walks over. "why are you looking at me like that-" he's cut off mid-question when you drag him onto the bed as soon as he's close enough.

he lands with an 'oomph' and you use all your strength to pull him so he's tucked into you. you honestly think he's going to pop straight back up, but he doesn't, simply complying and cuddling closer to you.

"do you like this?" you ask, holding him close. he seems taken aback; his breath hitches against your neck, and there's a long silence before he answers. "um..."

"i knew it! why didn't you just say so baby?" you say, almost teasingly. he groans, but doesn't push back. if anything, he gets closer, trying to hide the obvious flush that starts to spread across his face. you don't tease him any further, deciding he's embarrassed enough, and simply continue to hold him in a comfortable silence.

"but seriously, why didn't you tell me? i have no problem with it." you ask after a while, looking down to check if he's even awake when a minute passes without an answer. he looks up at you shyly before explaining.

"i didn't even know i liked it until i came home and saw you hugging that thing, really. i guess i was jealous of it? i couldn't tell until i was in that position and realized that i enjoyed it. it felt weird to ask for it, so i just waited till you were.. dazed? god, that sounds bad." he says, putting his head down at the last sentence.

you laugh, "what?? i didn't know you were so evil my hoonie." you tease, letting him break free from your grasp and use juni to smack you in the face. and you decide you're not taking that, so a pillow fight breaks out, except he's still clutching onto the cat with his life, not letting it go as he swings at you. before long, you both give up, landing on the bed, sweating and hearts pounding.

you're both laying on your back, staring up at the ceiling. "wow, it's really been awhile since i did that." he comments, turning his head at you. maybe that's only something you hear in movies, but you don't care. "come over here, you sappy guy."

he listens, rolling over and letting you tuck him into your chest. "your sappy guy, right?" he asks, voice vibrating against you.

"my sappy guy? maybe i should've been doing this from the start-" and he's hitting you again.

[itsraceweekbitches]

LOVEBOMB

summary: You have a manic episode and say things to Max that you don’t really mean. Now it’s time to heal and figure out how to move on. ✤ pairing: Max Verstappen x reader ✤ wc: 2.7k ✤ tags: fem!reader, reader has bipolar disorder ✤ note: The fic is based on Nessa Barrett’s song lovebomb. Yes, I know, she has BPD and it’s about that, but I have no personal experience with it, ‘cause I have bipolar disorder. Song recommendations: lovebomb as previously mentioned, then Kelly Clarkson - Sober.

“That was my WDC trophy! Are you fucking insane?!”

“I don’t give a fuck about your trophy, Max, just answer my question! Or you know what? Fuck it. God, I hate you so much…”

Just like every other couple, you get into fights too. Sometimes over something silly, like who left the upcoming dinner on the kitchen island where the cats could reach it, or bigger ones when you accuse the other of deliberately forgetting an important engagement you’ve planned ages ago.

But that night? It was different. It was intense, and that might be an understatement. You don’t really remember what set you off. Maybe it was something he said without the intention of upsetting you, but he still managed to pull the pin and make you explode. 

Your emotions were running high, the words were flowing out before you could realize exactly what you were saying, and you didn’t even bother to read his expression to know just how much they hurt him. If you had paid attention, you would have known just how bad things were.

Yet, you didn’t care. You couldn’t care. 

Your brain was in overdrive, so many thoughts running through it that you couldn’t even keep track, and the sudden anger pushed your love for him out of the way. 

Max had enough. He told you to message him when you calmed down, until then he was going to give Daniel a visit. And even that wasn’t enough for you to realize just how bad things were, all because you couldn’t keep yourself on a short leash. 

Instead of begging for his forgiveness, you threw some clothes and a few essentials into a suitcase, then headed to a hotel where you were planning to stay until he apologized. Because you didn’t think you were at fault here, not at all. In your mind, it was Max who caused this whole mess, so it was his job to fix things.

It takes you a week to calm down enough to think rationally, to realize maybe it wasn’t his fault but yours. He didn’t mean to hurt or upset you, that was nothing more but an innocent comment, a misfired joke, no more. 

Anxiety slowly fills your brain, especially when you sneak into your shared home to grab a few more clothes along with some belongings that you need now. Without realizing it, you begin to move out, piece by piece. You wonder if he notices—if he cares to notice. Or is he still mad at you? You couldn’t blame him if he was. 

One day, you pick up your phone and open the messaging app you always use, and type a quick message. You don’t expect an answer, of course, you just want him to know what’s on your mind. Just to be sure, in case he’s willing to bury the hatchet.

You: I’m sorry. I really am.

As you expected, there’s no response, but you honestly can’t blame him. It’s just a simple I’m sorry, what’s there to say to that? Maybe one day you’ll have more to say, maybe you’ll have a plausible explanation to what’s happening to you. 

Because earlier that day you had lunch with your best friend, who pointed out things you hadn’t noticed yourself. “Look, don’t get me wrong, you know I love you, but maybe Max didn’t deserve this,” Gisele said cautiously, clearly walking on eggshells. Your friend let out a sigh as she turned her coffee cup around. “What I’m trying to say is that you’ve been… weird lately. You’re irritable, you tend to hurt those you love, you say you can’t sleep, you speak really fast, and you make rushed decisions,” she explained what she had noticed.

Now that you thought about it, she might have been right, and maybe Max noticed too, which eventually led to this big fight between the two of you. “That bad, huh?” you asked quietly, your eyes fixed on your hand that fidgeted with the napkin.

Gisele nodded with a sigh. “I’m saying this as a friend: visit a psychiatrist.”

You decided to take her advice, and so now you’re waiting for the evaluation of the conversations and tests you did at the beginning of this process. It’s been five weeks since that night, but at least now you’re near the finish line, soon you’ll know if there’s something wrong with your brain. 

On a Thursday, shortly after you watch the press conference at the track, you begin to type. It’s not a long message, it’s just a quick update about seeking help and a simple good luck this weekend. As it happened the last time you texted him, the message is left on read, there is no answer from Max. Once again, you can’t blame him, if you were in his shoes, you would be cautious too.

It’s the weekend of the Chinese Grand Prix when he receives yet another message from you, and Max hesitates, having a hard time deciding whether or not he should read it. He read the previous one, he knew you seek professional help, which is good, but is it enough? Let’s say you change, but how long will it last? When will you give up? And even if you won’t give up, what if things go wrong again anyway? 

He hates that he can only think about the worst case scenario, living up to the Doomstappen name, but he doesn’t want to risk giving your relationship another chance, only to end up at the same place. 

And he noticed that your things began to disappear from your shared apartment in the past few weeks, which told him that maybe you don’t want to mend things after all. Maybe you’re just trying to stay friends with him, this is why you keep him updated. Does it hurt? Yes, it does. Because despite everything, despite your changing moods, the highs and the lows, he still loves you. 

Once in his driver's room, he sits on the edge of the bed, then takes a deep breath as he opens the messaging app where your message is waiting, still unread. His thumb hovers above your name, because even though he has made up his mind not long ago, his bravery disappeared now that he’s about to read your message. 

You: Hi. I’m quite sure you don’t care, but I thought I should give you an update. You: But first, there’s another thing. I picked up the last of my stuff from the apartment and gave the keys to Daniel. I’m sorry it took this long, I know you probably wished to throw them out. You: Anyway, the psychiatrist told me the verdict. It’s bipolar disorder, so now I’m taking meds to tackle the symptoms, and I also go to psychotherapy. So far so good. The meds made me a bit drowsy in the first few days, but now things are getting better and better. You: And last, good luck for the weekend. 

Max blows out the air he didn’t even know he’s been holding before leaning back on the bed. How can you think he wants you to move out? He doesn’t want that, not until you talk about how to move on. It should be a proper discussion, a mutual decision, not whatever the hell you’re doing. 

It’s been over an hour since you sent this message, and he knows it’s late back home, but there’s something that’s bothering him. So, without letting himself think too much, he begins to type a message. 

Max: Hey. Glad to hear that. If you moved out, where are you staying now? You: I didn’t think you would respond. Max: I’m full of surprises. So? You: I rented an apartment. Max: You could have stayed. You: After what happened? I needed my own space. 

Shaking his head, Max closes the app and decides to dial your number. It’s ridiculous that you’re communicating in written form instead of talking on the phone like normal people do. As if you weren’t together just a couple of weeks ago, and honestly, you still haven’t discussed what’s next. At this point, your relationship is suspended, not finished. 

One ring. 

Two rings. 

Come on, answer it, he mumbles, as if his life depends on you picking up the phone. 

Three rings. 

And then…

“Max?” you say hesitantly.

Your voice is thin, and there’s something else, a slight raspiness he heard every time you cried. He always hated to see you cry, and even knowing about it is hard for him. Because you were probably crying because of him, and he wasn’t there to comfort you. You’re apart–you’ve been apart for long enough, maybe it’s time to stop this madness and just move on like nothing happened. 

Then again, could he do it? Could he move on just like that? Probably not. There would always be a voice in the back of his mind telling him to run. Your relationship is like a broken vase, no matter how cliché that example is. Even if you fix it, it won’t work the same way anymore. 

He gulps before speaking up. “Yeah, I thought… Anyway, I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he begins, but then his voice falters, because he simply cannot figure out how to go on.

Lucky for him, you know what to say. “Thanks. Look, I highly doubt sorry could ever cut it, but I meant it. I didn’t realize how bad the situation with me was, from my perspective, it wasn’t that bad. But now I see I was wrong, and I’m working on getting better.”

“I can tell. You sound better.” 

There’s a beat of silence, just enough to let him find the right words. He’s been thinking about you, and he was thinking a lot. He didn’t necessarily want to let go, but he didn’t want to hurry things either. You needed to heal first, everything else was supposed to come after that. This was your top priority now, and he wasn’t about to mess this up for you.

But before he could speak up, you clear your throat. "I... uhm... gotta go. Bye, Max."

The call ends, and he's left there wondering if calling you was the right thing to do. Did he upset you? Did he bring back feelings you tried to push aside?

It’s been three months since your last conversation with Max, since the day you decided to close that chapter of your life for good, and since you began to look for apartments on the other side of the continent. Almost two months since you moved into your new home in Denmark and started to learn Danish. One month since you adopted a dog to have company. And one day since you came back to Monaco to visit Gisele. 

The two of you are sitting at your usual table in the usual restaurant, waiting for the usual order. It’s nice to be back, even if just for a few days. Are you worried about meeting your ex? Not really. You moved on, and you assume so did he. Right now you’re here to spend some time with your best friend anyway, worrying about him is the last thing on your mind. 

“Aren’t you a good boy? I thought you’ll be begging for food the whole time,” Gisele says in a high-pitched voice as she leans down to press her nose to your dog’s. 

It was love at first sight, in fact, your dog decided to ditch you the moment he sniffed your friend’s hand. That little traitor. You don’t miss the look an older woman gives you two, but you just flash a wide grin at her before looking down at your furry son who’s currently enjoying a head massage.

“Oh, trust me, he loves to beg for food,” you note with a laugh. “So, how’s your husband?”

“Away on a fishing trip, thank God,” she replies with a laugh. 

You two spent a big chunk of last month talking about the poor guy, who was just trying to celebrate their anniversary throughout that week. Gisele believed a one-week-long celebration would be an overkill, but you convinced her to agree to cheer up Jeff. Little did she know that her husband gave you a call to ask for your help, because he was devastated after she said no to this the first time. 

An hour later you are both drinking your coffee when your dog gets excited; he stands up, begins to wag his tail so fast it hurts when it hits your arm, and you hear the familiar whimpering sound he makes whenever he meets another dog he likes. When you look down, your blood freezes in your veins, because who wouldn’t recognize Leo Leclerc?

And sure enough, Charles is there on the other end of the leash, giving you a friendly smile when he stops next to you, letting the two dogs get familiar with each other. “Hi. I didn’t know you had a dog,” he says with a laugh before looking down at them. 

While you follow his line of sight, you clear your throat. You knew meeting an F1 driver in Monaco was a possibility, but right on the first proper day here? Damn it. Still, he’s a good guy, you don’t want to go all defensive, especially not now that you’re consciously working on this issue of yours. 

“Hey. Yeah, I adopted him last month. How are you?” you ask with a polite smile. 

You and Gisele watch in shock as he pulls over a chair and sits down next to you. Before you could ask him what he’s doing, he starts talking, saying a lot of things that aren’t even connected and hardly make sense. It seems like he's trying to keep you up, deliberately stalling. But why? Why would he want to keep you occupied? 

Suddenly, Leo gets super excited in Charles’s lap, his tail wagging like crazy as he’s looking at something behind you. Now curious, you turn around, only to see Max stand there a few feet away from you. He looks a little uncertain, his hands stuffed into his pockets as he watches you, but he doesn’t say anything, only flashes an awkward smile at you. 

“Oh, Max, hello!” Charles says with a wide smile, waving at the Dutchman. “Well, I should get going, it was nice to see you again.”

And with that, he stands up with Leo in his hands, then walks away in Max’s direction, exchanging a meaningful look with him. So this was all part of a plan? You glance at Gisele out of the corner of your eye, who’s clutching her glass so tightly you’re afraid it will break. 

He finally walks a little closer, still looking slightly awkward when he stops in front of you. “Hi. I’m Max,” he says, acting like you didn’t know each other. It doesn’t make sense, what the hell is he doing? You give him a confused look, but he only sits down on the chair his friend occupied a minute ago. “You won’t even tell me your name?”

You look over at Gisele, who only shrugs, telling you she has absolutely no idea what’s going on. So, deciding to play along for now, you introduce yourself. Max flashes a satisfied smile at you, then flags down a waiter to order a gin and tonic. 

“Monaco is small, but I don’t remember ever seeing you. Are you from around here? Or are you on a vacation?” 

“Excuse me, I’ll go fix my makeup, I’ll be right back,” Gisele says as she stands up, then walks inside without her bag that has her makeup kit in it. Traitor. 

Meanwhile Max is looking at you expectedly with those blue eyes, head tilted to the side as if he was a curious puppy. He wants you to play along, he’s waiting for an answer, but you hesitate while your mind is in overdrive trying to figure out what is happening. But then you realize what it is. 

A fresh start. 

“It’s a vacation. You look familiar,” you note, engaging in a conversation that resembles your first meeting. 

Maybe it’s time to step out of your new comfort zone, and maybe you should do it for him, and him alone.

[gazemaizeisdead]

i just got out of an early screening of the minecraft movie! (a minecraft movie), and i come to reveal, the mad oracle that i have become:

it will gross two billion dollars. you’re in a bubble if you think otherwise. this is NOT a 1/10, it’s a 3/10 that the average brainrotted american child will perceive as the funniest movie in the world and that’s all it needed to be to make two billion dollars. they play guns n roses and ac/dc. the white lotus lady shows up and plays the white lotus lady and has a minecraft dui. this will narrowly scrape a 50 to 60 critic score on rotten tomatoes. they will compare it to the lego movie (every review will mention the lego movie). “THE KIDS WILL LOVE IT AND PARENTS MAY JUST CRACK A FEW SMILES THEMSELVES!” the villains want to destroy creativity and there’s a line where the main villain says “we are only in this for the money and to destroy creativity” and every reviewer that miraculously doesn’t compare this to the lego movie will quote this line at the end and smugly cross their arms and mutter wow they sure are telling on themselves and the ones that don’t do that will say that it’s too woke.

i don’t have a critical take on a minecraft movie, i don’t have a real analytical thesis or an essay or an unfunny shitty single sentence pseudo-tweet letterboxd review i have a vision like the opening of a final destination movie. but i’m not going to yell at you to get off the coaster. i’m not going to get off myself. we go when we go. better this than the tanning bed.

he sings again. he sung as bowser and he sung as claptrap and he sings as steve. they’ll put him in fnaf 2 and he’ll sing as balloon boy and he’ll sing as tingle in zelda and he’ll sing as kraid and andrew ryan and big the cat.

nacho libre is a fake wes anderson film about class struggle and the glorification of god (and is better than every film wes anderson has ever made) and jack black sings in that movie and i laughed so hard at that as a kid that i pissed myself. not a dribble, i pissed my pants and sat there in the theater and didn’t say anything because i didn’t want to get taken out of the theater early because i was afraid i wouldn’t get to see the rest. i also pissed myself watching the minecraft movie this morning as an adult but it was a protest piss. the theater employees will taste the difference and i hope that my message works its way up the chain, in whatever way it can, and maybe someday jack black will be in a good movie again.

four and a half stars

[heartorbit]

happy halloween! 🎃🐈‍⬛👻🐇

[coquelicoq]

i have this unfortunate thing where i love cats and know several people with cats who ask me to catsit for them on the other side of town but if i am away from home for more than a few days i get so homesick that i start crying and can't stop. and then i feel incredibly stupid about the fact that i'm a grown adult - and still in my own city even! - but here i am not being able to handle being away from home for less than a week. i think it is indicative of some larger problem that i am not engaging with but man i just wanna go home. i want to be in my own space with my own bed and all my books and where i know how to work the tv and can change my clothes if i want to without being stressed that i'm going to run out. i want to be at home which i have tailored to my own sensory preferences and where i can walk around without stepping on cat litter and sit down without having to check every other minute to make sure i'm not covered in ants. i probably would not feel like such a baby about it because those all sound like really nice normal things to want and value but i feel like everyone i know loves travel and i just don't get it, i just want to go home. i like it there. i like stability. i would like to stop crying about it though.

[shigussy]

i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny

also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade

-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)

-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)

-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)

-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)

my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath

in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do

[uncanny-tranny]

Crochet update: guess who has two thumbs and went through a skein he just bought in three hours and still isn't finished yet (totally not me)

[altruistic-meme]

my cats are so mad at me bc I keep not going to sleep at the Set Time bc I had been mad-dash crocheting every morning and im just. so sad for them. bc im about to fuck up the schedule even worse.

[egglygreg]

...

[sanchoyo]

haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞

[poisonouspastels]

@beegswaz genuinely i think my favorite tags on any of my work ever. i fucking love when people talk abt my characters like this

[box-dwelling]

I need everyone to know that my partner and I were having an argument tonight during which I walked away for a bit to calm down and when they came up to me to tell me they just wanted to stop fighting and for me to come back to bed, I literally couldn't because our kitten had decided that right now was the perfect time to play fight my foot and there's literally no getting her off me when she decides she wants her foot murder time

Anyway the terror in question :

[rubiesintherough]

.

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

The fact that I can get all sweaty when I’ve only been working with my hands for a few hours isn’t fair. It’s also not fair that my back is killing me because I spent that time in a chair at my desk. Sure, the chair was 30$ from target, and I have the most autistic posture imaginable, but all i was doing was making things with polymer clay! I wasn’t even freehanding a lot of the shapes because I’m still getting familiar with the medium! I was mostly using cutters and sculpting tools! Sure, I probably (definitely) should have taken more food breaks, but I need to go to the grocery store. Eating handfuls of captain crunch and spicy pistachios (not at the same time) every few hours is definitely not nutritionally balanced, but i don’t have time to make soup, i only have time for art. I should definitely do dishes though.

[orcelito]

She was so brave at the vet today so now she is hiding behind the toilet. As she deserves ❤

[ohheckstuff]

Hey reminder that if you use chatgbt I am automatically better than you

Does policing others as a way to make yourself look better work out in the long run as an approach to any kind of activism?

No absolutely not

Buuuuuuuuuuut

Literally suck my nuts 🤭

Lil piss baby mad that they can't actually create without scrapping together the hard work of other creatives? Here message me about how tough it is to be so weak that the idea of cultivating a skill makes you run blindly towards the-

*checks notes*

"evil water stealing, environment destroying, data scalping" machine

Ohhhhhhh wait u can't without your chattybox typing it up for u :)

A shame

OH I'M NOT DONE

Also as a black person seeing your fucking chatbot use aave is literally so gross

Keep my people's dialect outta ya fucking code