#my brother said he looks like a egg yolk
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
nestedfeathers · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
it must be hard, seeing what others dont
2K notes · View notes
ynbabe · 1 year ago
Text
Fake texts au- pt.10 bffs with the rookies+ The Hangover III
I can't believe we're on part 10 already 😭😭😭
| Masterlist |
"How could I? I didn't have my phone?" the girl asked slightly panicked,.
"That's because you had mine," Lando spoke up, tapping on his phone, "You logged into your account from mine," he said showing it to the girl.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME?" She yelled.
"BECAUSE YOU GUYS KEPT RUNNING ONTO THE FUCKING ROAD AND LOGAN AND ARTHUR COSPLAYED SPIDER-MAN" He yelled back.
"Okay, okay," Max put his hands up to calm the two down, sometimes they were so similar he'd want to ask if Lando had a twin separated at birth, "Lando, what did she post?"
"oh oooh, this going to be fun," the boy said, switching to the girl's profile.
Tumblr media
its_y/n_love
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by 21,023 users
Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri
its_y/n_love me with my Pookie bears everyone say thank you Oscar for paying the Hospital bills 😍
view all 10,874 comments
usernamei SHES GIVINGGG
username she ATE
username they're her pookie bears 😭 she's so unserious I unironically stan her
username a grown woman calling grown men pookie bears 😒 username fr like oscar had to pay for HER hospital bills username he literally payed for Arthurs too but yall ain't gon say none abt that
its_y/n_love
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by 501,023 users
Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri @/landonorris
its_y/n_love LANDOOOOOOOOO why he always with his boy tho 🤨
view all 20,874 comments
username omg she's literally living my dream 😫
username fr god i've seen what you've done for others
username omg she's freeloading off him now too?
username give it up she literally just their friend username and even if she wasn’t why would yall treat her differently than any other wag? username look at her man she's literally using them for fame and money
Tumblr media
"Well, that wasn't as bad," y/n shrugged.
"That's cause you didn't have your camera roll," Logan snapped back, finally feeling a little more human, the hangover easing down.
"Look who's talking," the Aussie came to y/n's defence, "You're lucky you didn't have YOUR phone," Oscar called out, making the American's face turn red.
"Damnnn Oscar!" The girl praised, colour returning to his face, all were slowly returning to normal, even Arthur had found his way back to the table. Seeing this, the two older men Max and Charles ordered for the table, while Lando, went through more of Y/n's Instagram with the group.
"Honestly, the response isn't that bad, and our PR officers won't murder us, sooo we're good," he said, smiling and logging out of her Instagram account.
"Oh my god," The Monganeseque boy spoke up after being missing for almost half an hour, " I don't think we ate last night," he said shoving the food in his mouth.
The older men expected one of the other three to corroborate the boy's words but they just witnessed four twenty-somethings guzzling down food and large glasses of OJ, lifting plates to slide food into their mouths, letting runny egg yolks and bacon grease getting over their face and hands.
"Fucking hell," Max snarled, "it's like watching animal planet or something,"
"It's disgusting is what it is," Charles agreed, "MERDE ARTHUR, MAMAN RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS!" He yelled at his brother who was currently dipping a rolled up pancake in orange juice.
"Oh mate that's fucking disgusting," Y/n scoffed but then followed suit.
"Both of you are insane," Logan cried out, his accent thick, but failed to notice his own disgusting plate, dipping his bacon in maple syrup.
"ugh, there is something mentally deficient with all of you," Oscar frowned.
"Big words for someone mixing coffee into their oj," Lando cringed, taking a photo of the four and their disgusting eating habits.
"I- I can't look at this, I'm leaving," Charles gave up, holding up his hands in surrender, "I have a meeting at Ferrari anyways,"
"Bye, Charles!" the table chorused.
"Oh shit, it's 11am already?" Max called, looking at his watch, "I've got debrief at noon, see you next race, yeah Y/n?" He patted the girl's shoulder as he left.
"Never, again, ever." She yelled out, behind the man, making him laugh.
"Wait really?" The American looked over, bacon in hand.
"Nah, but like I've got uni and stuff and I've been going Arthurs races as well so, I'll probably be back by Britain or Netherlands," she explained.
"Oh yeah I forgot you still go to uni," Lando said.
"Not all of are millionaires cause of our fast vroom vroom cars," she spit back.
"yeah, yeah, " he waved off, "Oscar, Zak's told me to babysit you till our flight tomorrow so you don't do something or someone," he wriggled his brows, smirking at his teammate, making him roll his eyes, "you regret, so let's go and leave that disgusting abomination here," he said pointing to the coffee-orange juice.
"Guy's I don't know about y'all but I'm going go and pass out in the room till next year," The girl said, pushing away from the table.
"Same," The two boys followed.
Tumblr media
oooooh this was ✨✨✨ but next we have the summer break chapter 🤭
Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1 @eugene-emt-roe @fangirl-dot-com
405 notes · View notes
corrodedcoffins-blog · 1 year ago
Text
Times Jack&co were in Y/n's videos
main masterlist
jack hughes x commentary youtuber!reader universe
note: the videos Y/n films is completely inspired/stolen from Brittany Broski, from 'brooke and conner make a podcast', as well as moments from the sturiolo triplets :) go check them all out if you haven't yet, they're all very funny
Tumblr media
Since Y/n had just moved in with her boyfriend and his brother, none of her furniture was with her, and therefore she couldn’t film in her new office, unless she wanted to sit on the floor. So she made sure it was alright with both brothers if she could film in the living room. The two hockey players of course said yes, not having a reason not to.
“‘Why don’t you believe Italy is real?’”
Luke had just walked in to get water from the kitchen, not thinking anything of it as he listened in on his brother’s girlfriend’s video.
“Okay, ‘Italy’” Y/n says, making a quotation motion with her fingers, “There’s no way a country is actually shaped that way. That is the dumbest shape I have ever seen. Italy is filled with a bunch of goofy little guys too, number one being the Pope.” She says, both Y/n and Luke bursting into laughter.
“What the fuck?” Luke laughs out looking towards Y/n.
“Sorry about him. Anyway… I wish Italy was real.”
-
“Listen to me. The best post nut clarity-” Y/n gets cut off by her boyfriend laughing, while entering the front door with Luke, both back from practice. Y/n getting a “WHAT?” from Luke.
“Ignore them- the best post nut clarity is quitting a job you hate, you just think ‘what the fuck was I doing?’ trust me, quit your job. Next question.”
-
“My supreme court- it’s gonna be like a March Madness type of thing and, hey, maybe I don’t know what that means by the way.”
“You don’t know what that means.” Luke says, from his spot leaning against the kitchen counter, not looking up from his phone.
“Don’t listen to him. We’re gonna do a March Madness thing-”
During Y/n’s first visit to the Lake House, Trevor asked if they could do the deaf, mute, and blind baking challenge. And of course Y/n said yes, together they got Jack to agree, as long as Trevor was the mute one.
“I need a towel.” Jack says, his hand covered in egg yolk, and being blind he couldn’t exactly grab it himself.
“Whisk it, love.”
“A towel.”
“Whisk it.”
“Baby, a towel.” The hockey player said, over pronouncing his words, hoping his girlfriend could read his lips. Trevor was just listening, while grabbing the whisk himself and whisking the batter.
“Whisk.”
“Babe. A. Towel.”
Y/n gives a confused look towards, what she calls their peanut gallery, looking towards Quinn for help. He points towards the towel for her.
“Ohhhh. Baby just say that.”
-
While Y/n was helping a blind Jack wash his hands, Trevor decided it would be best for him to pour the batter into the cupcake trays. All the while getting the batter seemingly everywhere. After drying Jack’s hands, Y/n turns around to see Trevor trying to clean up his mess.
“What the fuck?”
“What?” a clueless Jack asks, “What he do.”
“He got batter everywhere, it’s crazy because you’re not blind. So in theory you should be able to do that.” Y/n says, causing Trevor to nod along.
Also while on the Lake House trip, Trevor asked to film a podcast episode with her, which included all the guys. Y/n had to have some structure for the episode or it would just not be usable, the guys would talk over each other. 
“Would you rather never cut your hair again, or never cut your toenails again. Never cut your hair obviously.” Y/n said, reading the questions off her phone. 
“Yeah, hair.”
“Hair.”
“Never trim toenails again.” Trevor said into his mic. 
“Trevor. What?” 
“I would file my toenails.”
Y/n rolls her eyes, before saying, “I- yeah.”
-
“Smash or Pass Smurfette?”
“Pass obviously? She’s a 2 inch Smurf”
“Nah, Smurfette lowkey-”
The group turns to look at Luke, mouths dropped, as Y/n says, “We simply have to move on from that.”
-
“Ketchup or mustard? Ketchup. But you really hate ketchup.”
“Yeah.”
“He hates it so  much, if it’s even close to his meal, he won’t eat it.” Luke cuts in.
“Okay, so how close to your meal could ketchup be where you would still eat it?”
“...Baby tomatoes.” Jack says, before all the boys burst into laughter, Y/n still laughing while saying. “Jack baby, we’re talking distance, sweetheart.”
-
“Can I ask you something?” Cole asks Y/n, looking from over Trevor. 
“Yeah.”
“Who are your top celeb crushes?”
“Just three?” Cole nods, while Y/n needs to think, “Have to be Harry Styles. Duh. Then… Florence Pugh, I love her, and Andrew Garfield.”
“Now fuck, marry, kill those three.”
“No.” Y/n says immediately, causing the guys to laugh, “No… Okay, Marry- No! Kill… I can’t. We have to move on or the rest of the hour will be me sitting here thinking about it.”
-
“So what do you know about hockey?”
“Trev, to be honest, I can’t say I know much. I know that…”
“So that answers that.” Quinn says, after Y/n pauses for a few moments.
“No, I know somethings, I know that there are only five guys allowed on the ice, plus the goalie. But you know that.”
The guys are quiet for a moment assuming Y/n will name a few more rules she knows, but Luke speaks up when she’s still silent, “You don’t know much, huh.”
“Okay, what do you know about Digimon? We all have our areas.”
-
“How much money have you spent on Digimon cards?” Quinn asks, from the end of the couch, Jack between them.
“I spent $6,000 on one blister pack.”
“Are you serious?”
“That’s insane.”
“God.. So you’re like a full blown nerd.”
“Thanks Trevor.”
~taglist~
@inejghafawifesblog
305 notes · View notes
guilty-pleasures21 · 11 months ago
Text
Best friend's brother Miguel
Hey guys! So, I based this one off this fic I anonymously requested from one of my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE writers - @exhaslo - and my inspiration on this website. Please check out her account if you enjoy my writing. I hope you enjoy!
Part 1 - the past
Part 2 - the present
Part 3 - the future
Warnings: None. Just a little sweet and fluffy one.
_______________________________________________
Gabe stood at the counter facing the wall, scraping the butter and sugar off the sides of the mixing bowl before starting the machine up again. “Do you have to separate the eggs like that?”
X ignored the annoyed tone in his voice, letting the white flow from the crack in the eggshell before setting it down and starting on the other one. “Yes! It’s how you make the perfect vanilla cupcake. Trust me! I’ve perfected the receipt!”
Gabe rolled his eyes at his best friend’s proclamation and sighed. “Whatever you say.”
“Just wait ‘til you taste it!” X insisted, turning around to set the bowl of egg whites down by the mixer. “It practically melts in your mouth!” She grabbed the eggshells off the kitchen island and emptied the yolks into the mixer bowl, letting the machine stir the yellow liquid into the creamy mixture of butter and sugar.
“What melts in your mouth?” Miguel asked, strolling into the kitchen. X looked up when she heard his voice, her stomach flipping with excitement as she peeked over at him, her best friend’s older brother. She lowered her gaze quickly when he stopped by the fridge, trying to hide the nervous expression on her face.
“This vanilla cupcake recipe X has ‘perfected’,” Gabe replied, too focused on the mixer to notice X’s reaction. She leaned over to look him in the eyes, her expression serious.
“If you don’t want to help, Gabe, I can always find someone else to partner with for the bake stall.”
“I’ll partner with you,” Miguel volunteered, setting the bottle of milk down on the kitchen island. He glanced up at X, flashing her a mischievous smirk. She gulped at the look and quickly turned away, grabbing the bag of flour beside her to start measuring it out.
“Ugh! Please!” Gabe scoffed. “You’d probably just start messing around with the other guys and then leave poor X all alone!” He took the cup of flour X was holding out to him and tossed it into the mixing bowl while the machine continued whirring away. Miguel let out an offended scoff as he walked over to get a glass from the cupboard.
“I would never leave X all alone!” he argued, leaning over her to open the cupboard door, intentionally pressing his chest against her back as he reached up and pulled out a glass. “Isn’t that right, chica?” She gripped onto the edge of the table, trying to stop the shiver from running down her spine at the feeling of his low voice murmuring in her ear.
“Sure,” she mumbled softly, her tone barely managing to hold the sarcasm she intended it to. Miguel set his glass down and placed his hands on the counter around X, trapping her beneath him.
“How could you have such little faith in me, X?” he asked her, his voice laced with fake hurt. She didn’t respond, too busy trying to steel herself against the way his breath tickled the back of her neck as he spoke, the spicy, masculine scent of him surrounding her the same way his arms did. She snuck a glance over at Gabe, hoping he wouldn’t find anything suspicious about the way the two of them were interacting. He kept his gaze fixed on the mixing bowl, stopping the whisks to start scraping the mixture off the sides again.
“Leave her alone, Miggy,” he chastised Miguel, pretending to be completely oblivious to the tension between his older brother and his best friend. They hadn’t said anything about it yet, so he wouldn’t either. Although he was getting pretty tired of having to act like he didn’t know anything about it.
“But you just told me not to!” Miguel pointed out, still wrapped around X. Gabe sighed and chucked his shoulder into Miguel’s arm, shoving him aside. His brother held his hands up in surrender, then grabbed his glass before backing away from X.
“¡Vale, vale!” he relented, returning to the island to pour himself some milk. X took in a breath, relieved at being able to breathe again, and leaned over the mixer to take a look at Gabe’s work. She nodded, satisfied, then removed the bowl, replacing it with the egg whites so Gabe could start working on them instead. She was so cute, Miguel thought to himself, his eyes drifting over the curves of her hips and ass and trailing down her bare legs as he watched her lean over the countertop. He turned back to the fridge, returning the milk to its original position.
“Oh, wait!” X stopped him, running over to him quickly. “We need the milk!” She stopped when she reached him, fluttering her curly eyelashes up at him pleadingly, and he grinned. He bent over to sneak a glance at Gabe, making sure his younger brother was still completely focused on his egg whites before he took a step back, guiding X further behind the open fridge door. She stretched onto her toes, trying to grab the milk bottle from Miguel, but he raised his arm, holding it high out of her reach. She frowned at him, huffing in annoyance before folding her arms across her chest, her rosy lips twisting down into a pretty little pout. Mierda, she was cute when she was mad. Miguel smiled and leaned forward, closing his eyes and puckering his lips as he silently demanded her for a kiss.
What was he doing?! What if Gabe saw?! Her stomach fizzed with nerves at the thought, but she stretched up and pressed her lips to his quickly, praying that Gabe wouldn’t be able to see them behind the open fridge door. Miguel opened his eyes and grinned at her, finally handing over the milk bottle to her, and she felt her heart skip a beat at his smile. She lowered her head as she snatched the bottle, trying to hide her own smile as she scurried back over to Gabe, her heart thudding with excitement at what she’d just done.
Mierda, she was so cute when she was flustered, her lips curling into that sweet little smile meant just for him. It was too bad that she was still too afraid to tell his brother about them: he didn’t want to hide their relationship anymore, sneaking in a kiss or touch whenever they were sure that no one was looking. No, he wanted to grab her hand and twine her fingers with his, showing her off to the whole world, his precious little girlfriend. He sighed and took a seat at the island, tugging his glass closer to him.
“So?” Miguel asked, licking off the strip of milk he could feel coating his upper lip. “When can I expect my cupcake?” X turned around to face him and he met her gaze, fixing her with a teasing look over the rim of his glass. She lowered her eyes quickly, biting down on her lip to hide that shy smile he loved so much, and he decided then and there that that was going to be his new nickname for her.
“Your cupcake?!” Gabe repeated, scoffing in disbelief. “You can buy it from our stall tomorrow like everyone else.” Miguel grinned at the response and turned to X, injecting his features with as much helplessness as he could possibly muster.
“X?” he pleaded, sticking his lower lip out in a pout. She gulped at the sight, trying to come up with a response. Then, she smiled, her lips curling wickedly at the ends before she leaned over the island, resting her chin in the palms of her hands as she looked up at him.
“I’ll give you a two for one special if you bring all the guys from the football and basketball teams,” she promised him, fluttering her eyelashes up at him mischievously. He smiled, unable to help himself - Dios, she was cute.
“¿Para ti, mi cupcake? Siempre.” (For you, my cupcake? Always.) He raised his glass, downing the rest of his drink and Gabe groaned.
“Ugh! You’re so gross, Migs,” he scolded him, rolling his eyes at his brother’s words. Miguel gestured to X with his glass.
“X doesn’t have a problem with it! Do you, cupcake?” She wrinkled her nose at him, then turned back around to add the vanilla extract and baking powder. Miguel took advantage of the moment to admire her ass, his thoughts drifting to how he’d like to give it a little squeeze before spinning her around and trapping her against the kitchen counter, holding her in place while he kissed her. He loved kissing her, her legs curled around his waist, her arms wrapped around his neck, his own hands running up and down her sides as she explored his mouth with her tongue. She was so slow and careful with her touches, always pulling back whenever he got a little too excited. But he didn’t mind - he wanted her to be comfortable with him; to feel safe with him in the same way she always made him feel safe, bringing food over whenever their mother was having one of her headaches, staying back in the library with him and Gabe when they were too afraid to go home and face their father, dragging them over to her house every time the fighting got too bad for him to handle. He protected Gabe, but she protected him. He stood up and went over to the sink to wash his glass, placing it on the drying rack before leaning against the counter behind X. “You sure you don’t need any more help?”
She turned to look up at him, thinking. She didn’t want him to go back up to his room, sitting alone at his desk while she and Gabe messed around downstairs. Besides being her secret boyfriend that she absolutely adored, he was her friend too, and she loved him just as much as she loved Gabe - just as much as she loved her own siblings. She swivelled back around to grab the mixing bowl, then held it out to him, gesturing from him to steal a taste. He raised his eyebrows, but dipped his finger into the batter, licking it up before pursing his lips in thought.
“Well?” she asked him when he continued to remain silent. “How is it?”
He grinned. “Delicioso.”
Gabe felt his lips curl at the ends as he watched the way his brother’s eyes lit up every time they landed on X. He was a good person, his brother, always looking out for him and putting his needs before his own. But he was always so serious, so responsible, and Gabe sometimes felt guilty that he’d had to miss out on his childhood just to make sure that his younger brother had one. So of course he’d been glad when Miguel and X had finally started dating, his best friend easing some of the tension off his brother’s shoulder so that he could finally relax and start acting like every other teenage boy his age. He just couldn’t figure out why they wouldn’t tell him yet.
X bounced on her toes, delighted by Miguel’s reaction, then moved the mixing bowl to the island, where she’d already set out the baking tray. “Okay, I’m going to need you guys to fill up the tray with the cupcake holders, then we’ll start pouring the batter in. One spoon should be enough for each, because it’s going to rise when it starts baking.”
She left the two of them to fill up the tray and prep the cupcakes, turning back around to the counter to begin working on the frosting herself.
One month ago.
Gabe winced as he heard something being thrown across the room, the sound barely muffled by Miguel’s closed door. He glanced over at his brother, lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, his ears shielded by the large headphones he’d put on. He always snuck into his brother’s room when it got too loud, the fighting. Miguel would close the door behind him, then go turn on his computer, setting his little brother down in front of it and letting him play whatever games he liked while he himself blocked out the sounds with his music. Gabe turned back to the desk and picked up his phone, shooting off a message to X. ‘They’re fighting again.’
‘Are you safe?’ she replied immediately.
‘Yup,’ Gabe reassured her. ‘In Mig’s room. He’s here w me.’
‘How’s he doing?’
‘Got his headphones on.’ X bit her lip at the response, knowing it must have been really bad for Gabe to message her during the fight. She got up from the sofa and ran over to her mum, quickly finding her in the guest room.
“Mum?” she called out to her. Her mother looked up from her sewing machine, glasses sitting low on her nose.
“Yes, darling?”
“Gabe’s parents are fighting again,” she confided in her. “Can I ask them to come over? Just to play some games and stuff?”
“I’m fine with it, but you better tell your father first,” she warned her. X’s stomach churned at the thought. “Have they had dinner yet?” She looked back down at her phone.
‘My mum’s asking if you’ve had dinner yet,’ she asked Gabe.
‘Yup.’
“Yup,” she repeated to her mother, looking up from her phone. Her mother nodded approvingly and X went off to find her father. She peered around the doorway of his study, trying to gauge his mood - it was better when he was in a good mood, though he usually said yes to Gabe and Miguel coming over anyway.
“Papa?” she called out, creeping into the room carefully. He hummed in question and she relaxed, her shoulder slumping with relief at the friendly sound: he was fine. She moved closer to him. “Is it okay if Gabe and Miguel come over? We’ll just play some games and watch a movie! We won’t disturb anyone!” Her father frowned and turned to look at her.
“So late?” he questioned. X shifted in position uncomfortably, avoiding his gaze.
“Their parents are fighting again,” she revealed to him. “I’m just scared they’ll get hurt.”
“Okay,” he relented, turning back to his computer. “Tell them to bring their clothes if they want to sleep over. It’s a Saturday anyway.” X bounced on the balls of her feet in excitement.
“Thanks Papa!” She leaned over to give him a hug, then ran back downstairs, sharing the good news with Gabe. Then she pulled up her chat with Miguel.
‘Are you busy?’ she asked.
A notification popped up on his screen and his heart fluttered when he saw X’s name there. He sat up and sighed, a wave of relief washing over him as he replied to her. ‘No. What’s up?’
‘Want to watch a movie?’ He tapped on his phone, thinking. Gabe had probably told her then, that their parents were having yet another fight.
‘Now?’
'Yeah!’ she replied enthusiastically. ‘My dad said to just bring your stuff and sleep over.’
Miguel slid his gaze over to his younger brother, already watching him, waiting for his decision. His lips quirked at the eager look on Gabe’s face and he rolled his eyes, letting out an exaggerated sigh. “Pack your stuff. We’ll sneak out the front.”
They’d grabbed some snacks from the kitchen first, then gone to hang out with X’s younger sister and brother in the family room. The former had already been watching something on the TV while the latter was sat in front of the computer, eyes fixed on the screen as he played some shooter game. Miguel and X had pulled the sofa out into a bed and the two of them had settled on it next to X’s sister while Gabe jumped onto the bean bag. They’d joked and laughed as they watched one Disney movie after another, the minutes ticking by as they all sat together. X looked over at the clock, noticing how late it was getting, then glanced over at her siblings, finding them already nodding off in their seats. She leaned over to give them each a little shake.
“Go to sleep,” she whispered, “it’s late.” They got up and began drowsily heading off to their bedroom, leaving Gabe space to bound onto the sofa and sink into it on X’s other side. She wriggled a little closer to Miguel, and he raised his arm, draping it over the back of the sofa so she had more space to squeeze in. They stayed like that a bit longer, all of them fighting to stay awake as the movie continued to play. Finally, Gabe lay down and turned over, curling the blanket around himself as he fell asleep entirely. X turned to Miguel, wanting to laugh about it with him, but found his eyes closed as well, his head propped up on his fist as he rested his elbow on the headrest behind her. He was cute when he was asleep, his eyes closed peacefully, his forehead smooth without the concern constantly furrowing his brows. She grabbed the remote to switch the TV off, yawning as she realised how exhausted she herself was. Then she reached over to the armrest to steady herself as she climbed over Miguel.
He’d felt some movement beside him and opened his eyes to find himself face to face with X, her lips twisting into a sheepish grin as she looked at him. He raised an eyebrow and she reached up to pat his cheek gently, her touch soft and reassuring.
“Go back to sleep,” she told him quietly. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her instead, turning them around so he was sitting on the edge of the bed with her in his lap. His arms stayed firmly around her as he sat there, trying to get the words out, to tell her that he loved her - he loved her - and he was so, so glad to have her in his life. But the words just continued to hover on the tip of his tongue, refusing to make themselves known.
She’d been surprised at first, when he’d curled his arms around her so tightly. But then she’d relaxed into the hug, wrapping her arms around his neck, his soft, wavy hair tickling her cheek as she gave him what he needed. Finally, he spoke, the words a hoarse whisper in her ear. “I’m really glad Gabe found you.”
He loosened his grip on her, enough for her to pull back and give him a pleased smile. “Thank you. I’m really glad I found you guys too.”
He held her for a moment longer, his eyes travelling over her sweet features as he built up the courage to ask her the question. “Can I kiss you?”
What? Her eyes widened in surprise, unsure if she’d heard him right. Then she smiled and lowered her head, trying to hide the curl of her lips at his request. Of course she wanted him to kiss her, of course she’d had a secret crush on him for ages, with his fiery eyes and his heart-stopping smile and his friendly and thoughtful demeanour. He was her first love, and she didn’t think she’d ever feel for anyone the same way she felt about him. Never.
“On the cheek?” she asked shyly, looking up at him again when he didn’t respond. He swallowed hard, his grip on her waist tightening as he sucked in a nervous breath. He shook his head.
Not on the cheek. Her lips parted in disbelief and she dug her fingers into his broad shoulders, her heart thudding rapidly in her chest in anticipation. She smiled again, then leaned forward slightly, closing her eyes as she waited.
He inhaled another breath, then licked his lips before leaning forward and pressing them against hers. She was soft and small beneath him, and he felt the tension ease from his body as her familiar strawberry scent washed over him. He’d never kissed anyone before, but it felt nice; intimate - like a way he could tell her how much he really loved her without actually having to say it out loud. He pulled back to gauge her reaction, but she stayed in position, eyes still closed, lips puckered up adorably. So he kissed her again, just as gentle, just as light, then he gave her a final quick peck before sitting back.
He felt nice, his lips lush and soft against hers, and she felt like she’d float into the air at any second, her stomach bubbling with happiness as it was. She blinked her eyes open slowly, his handsome face coming back into focus before her: his deep-set eyes, his thick brows, his chiselled features. She grinned and he smiled as well, soft and shy, his sharp canines pressing into his bottom lip. Her toes curled at the sight and she leaned forward again, wrapping her arms back around him. “I really like you, Miguel.”
He ran his fingers along her back, stroking her tenderly. “I really like you too, X.”
Present day.
It was the day of the charity event - the fair they held in their school every year to raise money for whatever organisation their school had collectively agreed on that year - and Miguel had gathered his teammates around him in a group huddle.
“All right,” he began, putting on his captain’s voice, “you guys are going to go out there and make sure my girl … ‘s stall is empty by the end of the day.” ¡Ay, mierda! He’d almost called her his girlfriend! In front of everyone! When she’d specifically told him not to! Not until they’d told Gabe, at least.
“Your girl? Oooh!” Ben nudged Peter playfully, wiggling his eyebrows at him suggestively as he teased Miguel. Miguel rolled his eyes and shot Ben an exasperated look.
“We’re just messing with you, Miguel,” Peter chuckled playfully, taking a brief pause. Then, “we already know she’s your girl.” The group of boys broke into laughter once again. Miguel groaned, pushing them to get them to start moving.
“Just go,” he chided them, following behind as they formed a line to go to X’s stall. She looked up when they came, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she saw the entire under 18’s basketball team line up by her stall.
“Two cupcakes, please!” Hobie requested, holding out the required number of tickets once she’d given Ben his order. She grabbed the tickets and handed them to Gabe before picking up two of the cupcakes and passing them over to Hobie.
“What are you guys all doing here?” she asked them curiously. Hobie grinned and gestured to the back of the line.
“Miguel said to make sure his girl’s stall is empty by the end of the day,” he informed X, causing her cheeks to heat up with embarrassment. She leaned over to sneak a glance at Miguel, her eyes lighting up when they landed on him. He smiled back at her, giving a small wave in greeting as he flashed her a proud look.
“Two cupcakes, please,” he ordered, handing her his tickets once he’d reached the front of the line. He leaned over and shot her a mischievous smirk before adding, “and I believe I was promised an extra?” She wrinkled her nose, pretending to be annoyed by the flirtatious tone he always took with her, but he could see the way she’d pressed her lips together to stop her smile as she gave him his three cupcakes.
“Gracias, mi cupcake,” he teased her playfully, causing some of the guys to shoot him puzzled looks.
“‘Mi cupcake’?” Ben repeated, lips twitching with amusement. “Did he just call her his cupcake?!”
“Yeah!” Pavitr confirmed, punching Ben in the arm lightly. “That’s his girl, Ben! What do you expect?” Miguel rolled his eyes as the guys broke into laughter, but he kept his attention fixed on X as he watched for her response. She slid her gaze over to Gabe, biting her lip in apprehension as she awaited his reaction. Gabe threw his hands in the air and groaned.
“Ugh! I know, okay!” he revealed finally, unable to take it any longer. “Just … make it official already! Or something.”
Her eyes widened with surprise at Gabe’s confession and she turned to him fully. “You knew?! Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“I was waiting for you to say something!” he chastised her. She glanced up at Miguel, looking to him for backup, but he just held his hands up in defence.
“Don’t look at me! You were the one who said you wanted to keep it a secret until you told Gabe!” he accused her.
“‘A secret’?!” Ben repeated, serious now. “Wait. You mean you guys are actually dating? Oooh!” The guys broke into a cheer, clapping Miguel on the back in congratulations at the news. X turned back to Gabe.
“How did you know?” He sighed.
“Besides how obvious you guys make it,” he began, his expression softening as he looked at the two of them, “he’s my brother and you’re my best friend. Of course I knew.” He shrugged nonchalantly, the matter resolved as easily as that. X lowered her head, her lips curling into a sheepish smile. Then she straightened and punched Miguel on the arm, trying to get rid of the heat burning her cheeks.
“I told you you were being too obvious!” she scolded him.
“Oh no no no no no,” Gabe wagged his finger at her, stopping her in her tracks. “Miguel was fine. You were the one who was so giggly whenever he was around.” Gabe fluttered his eyelashes and curled into himself in a perfect imitation of X, his voice rising in pitch as he copied her.
“Oh, hi Miguel! Can you help me with my homework? You guys want to come over today? We can just hang out and stuff! Good job at the game yesterday, Miguel, you were so good!” X frowned and punched him in the arm instead, putting more force into the action this time.
“Ow!” Gabe exclaimed, rubbing his arm as he glared up at her. Miguel grinned and leaned over the table to press a kiss to X’s cheek, overcome by happiness at the knowledge that they didn’t need to hide their relationship any longer. X’s lips parted in surprise and she clenched her fists as she lowered her head, her lips twisting into an embarrassed smile as the guys cheered Miguel on.
“Um, thanks for coming guys!” she told the team before plopping back down into her seat, steadfastly avoiding Miguel’s gaze.
“Cupcake.” He waited until she looked up at him before continuing. “You’re going to come by the haunted house later, right? To support your boyfriend?” His lips stretched wide as he rested his hands on the table, his excitement at finally getting to call himself that in front of everyone drowning out the sounds of yet another round of hollers behind him.
She curled into herself shyly, her cheeks catching on fire as she fidgeted with her hands. Her boyfriend! He’d called himself that! In front of everyone! It really was official now. She brushed her hair behind her ear, her eyes staying fixed on the ground as she replied. “You know I get scared, Miguel.”
“You don’t have to get scared, princesa: I’ll be there.” He leaned over the table, trying to catch her gaze. “I’ll even hold your hand if you want me to.” She groaned in irritation as the guys whooped at that, trying not to smile again.
“Ugh! Fine! I’ll come, I’ll come!” She sat up and waved her hands at him, trying to shoo him away with the rest of the guys. “Go!”
“Hasta luego, cupcake.” (See you later, cupcake.) Miguel shot her a naughty wink, then left.
She picked at the skin around her nails as she waited in line with her friends, nervous. “I don’t know, guys. Is it really scary?”
“It’s fine! Don’t worry!” MJ reassured her. Then she wiggled her eyebrows at X and gave her a playful shove. “Besides, your boyfriend will be there to protect you.” X rolled her eyes at the statement, her lips pulling back in a grin.
“Oh my god, yeah!” Gwen exclaimed suddenly. “How come you never told us?! How long have guys even been dating? Like, actually?”
X twirled her hair around her finger as she thought about it. “Um, like, a month?”
“What?!” Gwen and MJ exclaimed together, the news a shock to them both. X winced guiltily at their reactions.
“I was just scared to tell Gabe!” she admitted. “I didn’t want him to think I was going to choose Miguel over him or something.”
“So? What did he say?” MJ asked, curious to find out more.
“He said he already knew! He was just waiting for us to tell him!” MJ rolled her eyes amusement at that.
“You guys,” she sighed, knowing them all too well by now. She’d been X’s friend even before Gabe and Miguel had moved to the neighbourhood and X spent almost as much time with her as she did with Gabe.
“Hey!” Peter greeted the three of them when they’d reached the front of the line. “X! You came!” X brushed her hair behind her ear and glanced up at him quickly.
“Uh, yeah.”
“Miguel!” Peter twisted his head back, calling out to Miguel somewhere inside the haunted house. “Your girlfriend is here.” MJ and Gwen giggled at that, both of them nudging her teasingly. It wasn’t long before Miguel himself bounded out of the room, his eyes lighting up in excitement when he saw X waiting for him.
“You came!”
“Yeah,” she told him, like it should have been obvious that she would have come. “You said you wanted me to support you.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She always supported him when he asked, and even when he didn’t, going to all of his games and sitting on the sidelines, cheering him on right next to his brother.
“Miguel!” she whined, curling up against him once he’d loosened his grip on her slightly.
“¿Si, mi cupcake?” he asked her, refusing to let her go just yet. But she wriggled out of his arms, taking a step away from him and setting her features into a serious expression.
“Let’s go.” She nodded to the entrance and he grabbed her hand, gesturing for her friends to follow behind.
“Come on. It’s really good, trust me.”
X pulled her phone out of her pocket, clicking in the message she'd received.
“Oh! My mum's on the field!” she informed Miguel, looking up at him as he walked down the corridor with her. “She said my cousins are doing the bouncy castle. They're probably going to head back soon.”
She smiled as another message came through, squeezing Miguel's hand where it was still firmly clasped around hers. “She says they tried to find me in the canteen, but my stall was already closed!"
She grinned up at him again and his heart leapt at the sight, his stomach bubbling at the adoring look on her face. The look he'd put there. He swung their hands lightly as they continued walking. “You want to go see them?”
“Can you … Do you want to meet my aunt? She's really nice!” She brushed her thumb across the back of his hand reassuringly, her smile turning a little nervous as she waited for his answer. Of course she wanted him to meet her family, of course she wanted to show him off, her sweet and smart boyfriend that she was so proud of and adored so very much. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
“Of course!” he agreed, gesturing for her to lead the way. She squealed with delight and pulled him down the corridor, racing over to her family.
“X!” Her aunt shrieked when she saw her. She held her arms out and X barreled into them, squeezing her tight.
“Masi! How was your trip?” (Aunt!)
“It was fine,” her aunt reassured her before gesturing to her three young kids. “They were mostly just sleeping on the bus.”
“Penji!” her cousins screamed, swarming her and tackling her with their small forms. (Older sister!)
“We came to find you in the canteen, but you’d already sold out?” her mum asked her, curious. X gestured to Miguel, suddenly shy.
“Yeah! Miguel got all the guys from the basketball and football teams to come buy my stuff!” Miguel stepped forward to give X’s mum a hug - a greeting that had become a habit as he’d opened up to her more over time - then he held his hand out to X’s aunt.
“Hi aunty, it’s nice to meet you,” he greeted her politely. “X talks about you all the time. I’m Miguel.” Her aunt reached forward to shake his hand, her lips stretched into that same wide smile that X always wore.
“Hello, Miguel, nice to meet you too!” She shot X a mischievous look. “What a handsome young man!” Her youngest daughter turned to X, eyes wide.
“Is he your boyfriend?” She gasped at her own question and her siblings smacked her on the arm, sneaking glances over at Miguel as they waited for X’s answer. She shifted nervously in position, glancing over at her mother meaningfully - X always told her mother everything.
“Um, yeah,” her lips curled at the corners as she said it. “He … His younger brother is my best friend! So, we were friends first and everything.”
“Did you tell Gabe yet?” X’s mother asked her, features scrunched up in concern. X nodded.
“Well, he said he already knew anyway. So … yeah.” She bit her lip, her cheeks aching from how much she kept smiling.
“Did he say anything?” her mother continued. “Is he okay with it?” She liked how happy Miguel made her daughter, the two of them always finding comfort in one another’s presence. She was an anxious girl, her daughter, and it had been a relief when she’d found a good young man who took care of her properly. She just worried what would happen once Miguel went to university - he was a year older, after all, so they’d have to spend almost as long apart from one another.
“He was fine,” Miguel reassured her. “He said he was just waiting for us to tell him.” Her mother turned to X, a knowing expression on her face.
“See? I told you he’d be fine!” X nodded enthusiastically, smiling happily. Then she turned to her cousins.
“Have you guys done the dunk tank yet?” she asked them.
“Oh! Coach Matthews is doing it!” Miguel pointed out to X. He turned to X’s cousins. “You guys want to try? I can help you!”
X nodded in agreement. “Miguel’s captain of the basketball team. And he’s also on the football team too! He’s really good at sports!”
The kids agreed and Miguel and X led them over to the dunk tank.
“Miguel?” Coach Matthews called out when he saw him approach. “I think there’s a rule against athletes being allowed to do the dunk tank.” He chuckled at his own joke.
“Oh no. I’m just here with my girlfriend’s cousins.” He gestured to X and she waved at Coach Matthews shyly. His eyes widened in surprise.
“You two?!” He was the football coach for both the official school team and the casual after-school club - which X was a part of - so he knew both of them pretty well. He’d watch quietly as Miguel stayed back after his own practice to train with X, partnering up with her on the drills, filling in as goalie when one of the other girls couldn’t make it - even though he was absolutely hopeless at the role, being a striker himself - and they always looked so happy together, the older boy finally finding relief in the smaller girl’s presence. He knew about Miguel’s parents, of course - all the teachers did, all of them making sure to keep an eye out for him in case he needed anything. He was always so quiet, so responsible, and his coach was glad that he had at least one person he confided in. “Finally! I was getting tired of waiting!”
“Coach!” X scoffed incredulously, her jaw dropping in surprise. He grinned and pointed a finger at Miguel accusingly.
“At least I don’t have to watch all the other girls try to flirt with you at practice anymore,” Coach Matthews teased him. X punched Miguel on the arm and he flashed her a sheepish smile before giving her a side hug. Their coach continued. “But stay focused on your studies, all right? I don’t want to see you guys mucking about.”
X straightened and gave him a salute. “Yes, sir!”
Coach Matthews sighed. “Just drown me already.”
The kids tried, one after another, each doing their best to throw the ball hard enough to dunk Coach Matthews and all of them failing miserably.
“Wait,” Miguel stopped X’s youngest cousin before she could take her final throw. He bent down to whisper something in her ear, then looked at her in question, waiting until she nodded in agreement before straightening up again. “Okay. Ready? One, two, three!” He picked her up in his arms and ran to the button, holding her up so she could smash the ball right into it, dunking Coach Matthews straight into the water. Then he set her back down and kneeled by her side to give her a high five.
“Hey, that’s cheating!” Coach Matthews accused them once he’d swam back up to the surface.
“You asked us to dunk you!” Miguel pointed out jokingly. His coach rolled his eyes as he climbed out of the tank.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you at practice on Monday, Miguel.” He shot him a warning look, hinting at the revenge he’d be bestowing upon Miguel on Monday. Miguel just grinned and waved after his retreating figure.
“See you on Monday, Coach!” He turned back around to X. “You want to go help with cleanup now?”
“Sure." She shrugged. She turned to face her cousins. “You guys go home first. We have to clean everything up.” Her cousins sighed in disappointment, but started making their way back to their mother, saying goodbye to Miguel before they left. He returned his attention to X, brows furrowed in concern.
“Do you think they like me?” She grinned and grabbed his wrist.
“More than me, probably.” She let out a dramatic sigh, pretending to be offended by the thought. “You’re too cool, Miguel.”
He raised his eyebrows and slipped his fingers between hers. “I don’t hear anyone else complaining.”
X rolled her eyes, but smiled as she tugged him towards the stairs. “Let’s go. Haunted house?”
Miguel nodded and they made their way back up, hands intertwined, the two of them grinning happily at one another the entire time.
113 notes · View notes
darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 years ago
Text
Things We Can't Change
Epilogue for Sweet Treats AU: by character | chronological | epilogues
Tumblr media
Warnings: these drabbles will include dark elements such as noncon, control, intimidation, and other stuff that may not be specified. Take this as you chance to scroll by.
Note: 👋
Please let me know what you think <3
🍯🍯🍯
You swirl the whisk around, wrist keeping a sharp and tenuous rotation as you hold the bowl steady. The rhythmic ting of the metal against the glass fills the kitchen and the silence of the large house. The place is static and surreal, just like the rest of your life. Ever since…
Don’t think. You won’t be alone tonight. Isn’t that something to look forward to? Is there anything left in this world you can be happy for? Maybe if you could feel anything but the flatline.
“My brother is not very happy,” Loki’s voice brings your head up as he strides coolly, “something about that little mouse and her attitude.”
“Oh…” you look back down, focusing on the batter’s consistency. Almost there. The burning in your tendons is almost enjoyable. To feel anything but dread. “Are they not coming then?”
“I never said that, darling,” Loki stops at the end of the marble island and rests his hand atop it
“Good, good,” you utter, “wouldn’t want this to go to waste.”
“Please, it will. No doubt my brother will leave crumbs littered across the floor like the animal he is.”
You look at him again and give a tight-lipped smile. He does this, makes you and offer but makes it feel like a favour asked. Was it not his suggestion to have Muffing come keep you company? Because he said it would cheer you up. That it would help you forget.
How could you forget what he did? You narrow your eyes and stare at him. Your wrist moves out of instinct and a loud clink keeps you from a full-blown glare. You look down. Fuck.
“Gosh,” you stop and drop the whisk to lean against the brim, “looks like I ruined them myself.” 
You sniff and turn away. You go to the other counter and pull close the tray of eggs. Start over. That’s the good part about baking, you can always try again. 
You separate the yolk into one bowl and the whites another. You flinch and break through the yellow with the shell as Loki snakes his arms around you from behind. You cringe as your whites are stained with the viscous slime. You suppress your disappointment and lower the shell as he nuzzles your neck.
“It is rather amusing to think of how you midgardians can find such joy in menial tasks,” he purrs, “on Asgard, we have servants who bake our bread.”
“Mmm,” you stiffen and rest your hand on the counter. “You must miss it.”
“I do, though Asgard never missed me,” he sways you with him, “we have some time… they are still upon the road…”
His hands slip down your sides and frame your hips. He pulls you against him, pressing his twitching crotch flush to your ass. You curl your fingers and swallow a shudder.
“I’ve egg on my hands,” you sidle free of him and grab a dishcloth, “and I promised Muffin strawberry meringues the next time she was in town.”
“Do you even know if she heard you? The creature seems rather oblivious.”
“She’s not stupid,” you argue but keep your tone from piquing, “she’s quiet, that’s all.”
“To think, my brother would make that his wife,” he approaches you again, penning you in before the sink, “none are so fortunate as me, are they?” He looms closely, leaning in until his nose brushes your forehead, “when I heard of those buffoons and their missing women… not me and my darling.” He touches the emerald at your throat, “I shall always keep her close.”
“My prince,” you murmur, “I wouldn’t…”
“I know you wouldn’t, darling, you are a prince’s wife now. You know your duties. You’ve proven to me that you could never let me down, yes?”
“Yes, my prince,” you reply. 
You hold back a tide of rage. You never would have said yes if you knew what it meant. If you knew what he would do. It wasn’t a fair trade. He is worth none of it but he is all you have left. Besides, he will never let you go and that fact sounds a lot more romantic than it truly is.
“My princess,” his hand crawls down your skirt, slowly tugging it up your thigh as he rubs his nose against yours, “the only promise I care for is that which you made to me.”
123 notes · View notes
thegoldenappleofdiscord · 2 years ago
Text
dumb, dumb love
summary:
Will stretched, a yawn tumbling from his open mouth. He made to rub at his eyelids, but Nico rose from his lap to do it for him with the corner of his wide, fluffy sleeves. “Morning,” he murmured.  
“You didn’t have to,” said Will, reaching for Nico’s hand.  
“You’re supposed to say, ‘morning’ back. Didn’t anyone teach you proper manners?” 
“For this early in the morning?” Will chuckled, though his smile broke into a groan as he popped his back. “Gods, that hurt.” 
“Scoliosis at seventeen.” Nico’s tone was droll. “How’s it feel?” 
“Wonderful. Me and my boyfriend match now.”
full fic on ao3!
i.
By now, Kayla should have known to never open the office door without knocking. 
In her defense, the door wasn’t exactly closed. It had been open just a bit, faint amber light spilling from the crack like an egg yolk. In search of a lollipop, she entered the room without a second thought. The tinkle of chimes flew through the open window, brought in by a misty breeze. Inside, a familiar scene, one she’d seldom had the pleasure to see. Still, she paused in her steps, a smile splitting on her face as it had every other time before. 
Will sat at his desk, wrinkled sheets of paper spread out under his arms, a pen abandoned at his fingertips. In his lap was Nico, face partly obstructed by the fluff of his coat’s collar. He clung to Will’s side like a sloth, the slope of his nose pressed into Will’s neck. They slouched in the velvet chair’s berth, unworried, unbothered. Candlelight flickered on waning stubs, and the flames illuminated their sleeping faces – the lines carved deep from stress had been painted over with serene curves at the edges of their lips - the closest smiles one could have in slumber.  
Kayla had seen them like this once or twice, wrapped up like ribbons. The rigid square length of her brother’s shoulders had sunk, as though the weight on them had evaporated. Nico slept with his chest open and wide, vulnerable. He had always seemed like a person bound together, shrinking into himself, wrapping his thin limbs around and around his body, making himself as small as he could. Even in sleep it showed – she had treated him before and found him with his arms crossed over his heart, legs swathed with invisible twine.  
In Will’s loose grasp, he unraveled. He seemed smaller, shorter, less menacing. He looked like a boy, not the disheveled, wilted remainder of one.  
Kayla smiled, deciding to leave them to their rest. She stuck a lollipop under her lip and stepped out just as the couple began to stir.  
Will stretched, a yawn tumbling from his open mouth. He made to rub at his eyelids, but Nico rose from his lap to do it for him with the corner of his wide, fluffy sleeves. “Morning,” he murmured.  
“You didn’t have to,” said Will, reaching for Nico’s hand.  
“You’re supposed to say, ‘morning’ back. Didn’t anyone teach you proper manners?” 
“For this early in the morning?” Will chuckled, though his smile broke into a groan as he popped his back. “Gods, that hurt.” 
“Scoliosis at seventeen.” Nico’s tone was droll. “How’s it feel?” 
“Wonderful. Me and my boyfriend match now.” He ignored Nico’s indignant glower and reached for the papers on his desk. 
“Don’t even think about it, Will.” 
“I’m not thinking, I’m doing.” He clicked his pen, but Nico pried it out of his palm and shoved it in a drawer. Will frowned. “It’s just a couple more. I need to finish these.” 
“You’ll collapse.”  
“Oh, is Nico di Angelo lecturing me on sleep deprivation?” 
Nico rolled his eyes, pushing a swath of hair from Will’s forehead. “Sleep. You’ll get through these later, okay?” 
Kayla expected Will to argue, to politely decline in the way he always did. But the fight left his face and he sagged into Nico’s shoulders, fatigue puppeting his weary body. “You win this one.” 
“About time I did.” Nico lifted the boy up to the waist, settling him gently on the desk. “Get on my back?” 
“Piggy-back rides?” Will murmured, a sleepy smile curling at the edge of his lips. “What’ve you become, Lord of Darkness?” 
“Don’t you know? Yours.” Laughter spilled from Will, lively even as his bodied dulled. He managed to climb onto Will’s back, lolling head of curls tucked into the collar of his boyfriend’s puffy jacket. “It’s a terrible change.” 
Will brushed a kiss against Nico’s neck. “I kind of like it.” 
It was Nico’s turn to laugh, and his was light, airy, less restrained than the quiet chuckles he let out sporadically during campfires or pavilion meals. Kayla doubted she’d ever hear a sound that free come from him again. She hoped not. 
She ducked into a shadowy corner by the supply closet as they left the office. Their chatter broke the silence like a splatter of paint to a bleak canvas, and they smeared their rosy colors over everything they passed. They bumped into boxes of ambrosia, salves, countertops. They nearly toppled into unmade beds. Will pressed kiss after kiss onto Nico’s neck, and the son of Hades cursed as his steps grew dizzy and reckless.  
They laughed the whole way out.  
full fic here!
69 notes · View notes
skulduggery-pleasant-bp9 · 1 year ago
Text
Playing with a Coroner and a Detective is not wise - Skulduggery x Male!Reader Universe
WARNING!: Cursing
Part 7 – The Elders
It was 7:15 o’clock as M/n woke up and he quickly freshened up and then started to make Breakfast. He spotted Skulduggery in the Living room.
“Morning Skulduggery.”, he greeted.
“Good morning, Corrupted.”, Skulduggery greeted back.
“Is my Sister already on her toes ?”
“No, not yet.”
“Ghastly already here ?”
“No, he is not.”
“Good, I didn’t oversleep then. I am making Breakfast. You think I should cook for Ghastly too ?”
“I would recommend. He tends to not eat Breakfast when he made appointments this early in the day.”
“Okay. Is he allergic to anything ? I am planning to make pancakes. Is he allergic to eggs, milk, flour or even butter?”
“No he is not allergic to any of that.”
“Okay. Cool. I am making a portion for three then. My Sister wolves Pancakes down like crazy...”
“Okay.”
“If the door rings or knocks and I am cooking, the key is in the small bowl in the hallway, so you can open the door for Ghastly. Remember to check if it is him, otherwise do NOT open the door.”
Skulduggery hesitated at that. M/n sounded aggressive about checking the door before opening it. Why ?
“Alright ? Why though ?”, he asked.
M/n looked around nervously.
“I usually feel like someone is around my house that wants something from me. In a BAD way. I never open my door usually, besides I have to go to work or shopping or to Family meet ups.”
“You are just a bit paranoid, aren’t you ?”
“Shove it, Skeleton. I am rather careful than reckless.”, M/n hissed and then entered the kitchen.
He got out the ingredients and then started to make the batter. He mixed it with his own strength until there were no more clumps of flour and no more egg yolk left. Then he got out his pan, butter, knife, a plate, tea spoon, ladle and his favorite spatula.
He turned the stove on and turned up the heat, then tasted the batter, if it was seasoned enough, he nodded in satisfaction as it tasted just right. In a few minutes the butter, he put in the pan, was melted and he put the first small ladle of batter into the pan. The batter smoothly spread around in the pan and filled it all out. After a few minutes, M/n turned it around to see it perfectly cooked on the first side, then, he waited again, a few minutes and checked the underside. It was perfectly done, so he got the first one out of the pan, checked if the butter was enough and then added the next ladle of batter into the pan.
By the eighth pancake, M/n left the stove and looked at Skulduggery.
“Did she still not get up ? It is 7:40 o’clock.”, M/n asked the Skeleton.
He shook his head.
“Do you want me to wake her up ?”, he asked.
“Either that or you watch the pancake in the pan and check the underside of it. When it is done in your opinion get it out, add butter and then add the next ladle. Simple.”
“I take the cooking.”, Skulduggery said and went to the kitchen and on the stove.
“Okay. I will wake up my Sister, like a good big Brother.”, M/n said with a big grin.
He took out his phone and started to make a video. He went up the stairs, into a Bathroom, took a washcloth, made it wet with ice cold water and then left again. He entered his little Sister’s room and smirked as he saw her still sleeping. He aimed the cloth at her face and then threw it.
SMACK !
Stephanie screamed in shock and trashed around, M/n started to laugh loudly and she stiffened up. She spotted the ice cold, wet washcloth that hit her in the face and she glared at her Brother, seeing his phone.
“YOU ASSHOLE !”, she screamed.
M/n wheezed as she covered herself with the blanket, even though she wore a shirt. She smiled, not entirely mad at him. It was rare to have M/n laugh this hard and earnest.
“Wake-Hahaha !-Wake up sleepy head ! Hahahaha !”, he laughed out.
She smiled and threw the rag back at him, which hit him between the legs. It only made him laugh harder and she chuckled.
After a bit they calmed down and M/n stopped the recording. That will be a memory to laugh at. He smiled fondly, already planning to put that on a DVD for memories.
“How late is it ?”, she asked.
“Seven fifty o’clock.”
Her eyes widened and she jumped out of her bed, running around to get ready for the day. M/n smiled and left her room. He was about to enter the kitchen again, to free Skulduggery from the stove, as the doorbell rang. M/n changed his route and looked through the peephole.
He saw Ghastly, his face entirely covered. But the eyes betrayed him. M/n took out his keys and unlocked the front door, then he opened the door.
“Hello Ghastly. Skulduggery and I are cooking Pancakes. Come in. We will eat something, I will get ready and then we can go.”, M/n said warmly.
Ghastly entered and pulled off his scarf. He looked at M/n in shock.
“How do you know that I didn’t have Breakfast ?”, the tailor asked, taking off his coat.
“I asked Skulduggery, if I should count you in. He said I should.”
Ghastly hung up his coat, scarf and hat. Then he followed M/n into the living room and M/n entered the kitchen, seeing that Skulduggery did a well job.
“Move over, I’ll take back over. You can set the table. My Sister is getting ready, so you are the only one with no job. We need three plates, forks, knives and six tea spoons.”, M/n said.
Skulduggery nodded and got the utensils out. Then he left and entered the living room.
“Hello and good morning, Ghastly.”, Skulduggery greeted.
“Hello and good morning to you too, Skulduggery.”, Ghastly greeted back.
He put the plates and silverware down, then he entered the kitchen again.
“Good to know you are back. In the fridge are marmalades. We need Strawberry, plum jam, sour cherry, syrup, blackberry and Nutella, from the cupboards. Oh ! And we need cinnamon sugar. It is next to the Nutella. Thank my Sister for all the variations. If it would be me, I would only want sour cherry and plum jam. She is a very random, picky person...”
“It’s fine.”, Skulduggery assured M/n and he opened the fridge, grabbing a few marmalades and carried them to the table in the living room.
After he finished with setting the table, M/n had only three more pancakes to make. As he was about to make the last one, all three men heard fast steps and soon Stephanie appeared in the living room. Panic in her eyes and her hair a mess.
“M/- BUBBA ?!”, she yelled.
As she spotted Ghastly she quickly avoided to call his name. M/n looked out of the kitchen and his eyes widened at her hair.
“What have you done to your hair, again, Sister ?!”
“I didn’t do anything ! The brush won’t go through and my hair refuses to cooperate !”, she said in a panic.
Frustrated tears were in her eyes. Today was a day where she had very frustrating hair. Usually it cooperates with her and the brush. M/n sighed and washed his hands.
“Skulduggery, you have stove watch duty. I have to take care of my Sister’s lion mane...”
“Got it.”, Skulduggery replied and went back into the kitchen.
M/n then walked back with Stephanie into the bathroom and he took care of her wild hair. Skulduggery soon enough turned off the stove and put the last pancake on the plate, then brought it to the table.
“OWW !”, Stephanie yelled.
Ghastly sat up straighter. Skulduggery knew what he was thinking about.
“If you want to help them, go and ask if you can.”, the Skeleton said.
“Corrupted seems very protective.”, Ghastly said unsure.
“He only gets aggressive if someone dares to be a pervert. You aren’t one, Ghastly.”
“OWWW ! M/N IT HURTS !!!”, Stephanie screamed loudly.
“You really should help.”
Ghastly nodded, got up and went to the bathroom. He knocked gently on the door and M/n opened the door.
“Hey, Ghastly.”
“Hey, is everything okay ? Do you need help ?”, he asked the boy.
“I guess I do... The spray doesn’t work this time and her hair is really unruly today.”, M/n sighed out frustrated.
“I can help.”, he offered.
M/n sighed and opened the door wider, letting Ghastly enter.
“Try your best...”
Ghastly looked at her hair and winced. She looked about to break down. Ghastly took the brush and took out all the hair that was stuck in it, then he grabbed the hairspray and read it. He shook his head.
“Bow your head over the tub. I will rinse your hair out again and we will see if your hair will listen this time.”, Ghastly instructed.
Stephanie did as told and Ghastly took the showerhead. He turned on the water and then rinsed her hair again, making it wet again. After a while he stopped and wrung out her hair, then he took the brush and tried again. It was still refusing.
Ghastly then started to comb the ends of her hair first and slowly worked himself up to her roots. Then he combed through them from start to end and they were smooth. The siblings were in awe. Ghastly used the wind to dry her hair.
“Better ?”, he asked kindly.
“Y-yes. Thank you, Ghastly. This was awesome.”, she said with a big smile.
M/n smiled at his Sister, but felt sad that he couldn’t do that. He is supposed to help her and keep her safe, yet he can’t even help her on a bad hair day.
“No problem.”, Ghastly said with a smile of his own.
“How did you learn that ?”
“I helped my Mother and some of my friends with longer hair before.”, Ghastly chuckled out.
“That is cool. You have to teach me that technique !”
“Sure.”
M/n left the Bathroom, very silent. It concerned his Sister, while Ghastly thought it was normal. They sat down on the table and Stephanie’s eyes lightened up.
“Pancakes ! Brother, you didn’t have to !”, she said happily.
“Shush and enjoy it. I felt nice today.”, he told her.
Something was off with the way he said it. It was meant to be a tease, but it sounded empty.
“You HATE Pancakes.”, she said.
“I don’t hate them, I just don’t like eating them too often.”, he argued back softly.
“Alright, spit it out, what is wrong ?”, she pressed.
M/n looked at her and sighed.
“Can’t we just eat first ? It’s silly, really.”, M/n asked.
“Say it now, or I will not eat.”, Stephanie threatened.
Ghastly and Skulduggery looked at M/n and Ghastly was concerned.
“It’s dumb, Sis. It’s one of these days again, where I am too emotional. I just feel stupid for not being able to get your hair done, like I usually always did and someone else had to do it. Like I said, it is dumb.”
M/n eyed his empty plate and Stephanie instantly caught on what M/n actually meant.
“You are ashamed that you hurt me and tried the old method that always worked before. You had no other idea what to do and you got so desperate to help me, that you let Ghastly help, hoping he can so something and as you saw what he did, it seemed so simple and you feel stupid for not knowing that. Is that it ?”, she asked.
M/n nodded.
“Don’t be ashamed, Brother. There are times and things, that you don’t have all the knowledge about. You can learn though. All you have to do is ask and you might get a small education about it. Also, you heard Ghastly. It wasn’t his first time, he had done that. Experience makes it happen.”
M/n looked up with a small smile.
“You’re right. Like I said, just a stupid day for me. Now enough depression, I wanna eat. I am starving to the bone.”, M/n joked.
Stephanie snorted and then giggled, while Ghastly needed a minute and then laughed. He looked at Skulduggery and knew it was a joke about him.
“I feel personally attacked...”, Skulduggery muttered.
Ghastly laughed more at that comment.
“What ? I don’t want to look as boney as you, Skulduggery. Would be a real shame if I end up all boned.”, M/n joked.
Stephanie laughed with Ghastly at that.
“Your jokes are so bad sometimes !”, Stephanie laughed out and took a pancake.
“Sissy, I read too many bone tickling jokes.”, M/n replied with shit eating grin, while he took a pancake too.
The two laughed some more, while Skulduggery muttered under his breath. Ghastly took a pancake too and they decorated it with whatever they had. Stephanie put Nutella on hers, Ghastly decided on some cinnamon and sugar, while M/n put sour cherry on his own.
M/n and Stephanie rolled their pancake together after that and then started to cut it up and stab the pieces with their forks, while Ghastly cut his big pancake and ate it.
“By the way...before we go to the Vault, I have an appointment with the Grand Mage and the Elders. So we have to go there, first.”, Skulduggery announced.
M/n swallowed his piece of food and groaned, then glared at the Skeleton.
“Are you for real ?! You tell us that NOW when Ghastly is already here and he probably didn’t plan the whole day to stay outside of his tailor shop ?! Are you kidding me, you old bone ?!”
Stephanie almost choked on her pancake. The last part was a joke and everyone got it, still, M/n was angry.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you earlier, but I had other things to do.”
“Shove it, spooky scary Skeleton. Then scurry away, won’t ya ?”, M/n asked a bit annoyed.
“Well here is the issue...they want to meet you and your Sister.”
“Tell them we have no time right now.”, M/n told him.
“I can’t. They are my higher ups. I have to listen.”
“Say that my Sister is sick. We are not available.”
“Can’t. I am terrible in lying.”
“Corrupted, I don’t mind.”, Ghastly mixed himself in.
He looked at the tailor.
“But I mind it. I don’t know these people, that is the first thing ! The second thing is, that I don’t WANT to meet them. Who is telling me that they will be nice, huh ? Who is saying that they will listen, like you did ? I doubt it. I don’t want to meet them, nor am I willing to let them see MY Sister. They can shove it.”
“Corrupted...please ?”, Skulduggery asked nicely.
He was ready to say no again as Stephanie interrupted.
“We will go. Suck it up, Brother. Nothing bad will happen to us. I know you hate meeting new people so quick, but we will have to live with it, if we want to stay in this world.”, she told her Brother.
He scowled at her and shoved another piece of his pancake in his mouth.
“They hurt you, I will not hesitate to kill them.”, M/n said darkly.
Ghastly looked at Skulduggery in concern.
“He is overprotective of Family. They are informed of that. If they provoke him, I will not stop him.”, Skulduggery told his friend.
He nodded softly and they continued to eat.
-Time skip after they were done eating-
“Corrupted, girl ?”, Ghastly called.
They stopped their way to their rooms, to get dressed.
“Yes ?”, they asked at the same time.
Ghastly held out two bundles of fabrics.
“Your clothes.”, he told them softly.
They stared at the two piles he held.
“You got done THAT fast ?”, M/n asked in awe as he took his bundle.
“I did. It was urgent after all.”, Ghastly replied with a smile.
“Awesome. Thank you.”, Stephanie said and took her bundle.
“Yes...thank you.”, M/n said with a smile.
“No problem. Now put them on and let us go.”, Ghastly replied.
They ran off and changed their clothes. They came back out soon enough and M/n LOVED his clothes. He wore a dark blue pair of pants, his shirt was a rich forest green and his coat was night black, his boots were black and pretty too, everything fit perfectly too. But the best was that his coat was almost like a steampunk tailcoat, with an added, hidden hood on the back and deep pockets on the sides. His boots were in a gothic like style, HIS taste ! His pants were adorned with rivets on the sides and deep pockets on his sides and his knees. He LOVED it. Who would have thought that Ghastly was THAT creative ?
Valkyrie came out with her own clothes and she was dressed in all black and out of the same material, M/n wore, which they’ve never seen before. Her pants and blouse were beautiful and the little sleeveless vest, M/n guessed it was, with the silver hooks eyelets looked very elegant on her. Everything fit her beautifully and M/n smiled. She didn’t look at him yet.
She entered the living room and said that she loved the clothes and they fit perfectly. Then M/n stepped out. Stephanie turned around and her jaw practically dropped to the floor. She eyed her Brother up and down.
“How do you like your clothes, Corrupted ?”, Ghastly asked with a slight smile.
“You want my honesty or a lie ?”, M/n asked.
“Honesty, please.”
“I fucking LOVE them. I don’t think I will ever take them off again !”, M/n said with a big grin on his face.
“M/n...you look so fricking cool ! Now I feel underdressed...”, Stephanie said softly.
“Nonsense, Sissy ! You look awesome too.”
“You look like a Goth with dark colors.”
“Sis...I am a Goth. I love dark, powerful colors.”, M/n said with hesitation.
“Oh...Right.”, she muttered.
“I am working on a second pair of clothes too, for you M/n. Don’t worry. After all, you need two pairs. These clothes should make your skin and body significantly lessen outbursts of sweat and if you sweat, these clothes won’t smell so quickly like it.”, Ghastly explained.
M/n gave Ghastly a big smile.
“I fucking appreciate Skulduggery right now, that he let me meet you. You are a lifesaver, you know that ?”
Ghastly chuckled and gave the Teen a smile.
“You are welcome. Now let us go.”
M/n nodded at that.
M/n and Ghastly were in the Pontiac Firebird, which Ghastly complimented M/n about, while Skulduggery and Stephanie were in the Bentley. M/n followed the Bentley and soon enough they parked their cars and entered the wax museum. Skulduggery and Ghastly were masked again and Skulduggery paid for entry for all four of them.
M/n and Stephanie didn’t understand why they were there. Ghastly and Skulduggery waited until a small group of tourists left. And Stephanie only opened her mouth after they were out of sight and earshot.
“What do we want here ?”
“We want to go to the Sanctuary, the meeting place of the Elders.”, Skulduggery answered.
“Are the Elders out of wax ?”, she asked skeptically.
“I like coming here.”, Skulduggery said and too his sunglasses off, ignoring her question.
“It is so freeing here.”
Then he took the rest off and both siblings looked around nervously.
“One day you will get us in trouble.”, Ghastly scolded him.
They started to search for something on the wall and Skulduggery even cursed that they always change the location of it. Then the tourists came around the corner and M/n made a sound, which made both men freeze. An American boy left the group and came over, staring at Skulduggery.
“Who is that supposed to be ?”, he asked.
Stephanie hesitated and looked frequently for an answer, which M/n had.
“What ? You haven’t heard of Sammy the Skeleton Detective yet ? Nor of his accomplice, Jason Hans ? Sammy was the lousiest Detective in the world and his accomplice was way smarter than him. He solved a lot of cases for Sammy.”
“Never heard of them before.”, the boy replied.
He poked his finger into Skulduggery’s arm. Then he lost his interest and left with the rest of the group. Skulduggery turned around and looked at M/n.
“The lousiest Detective, huh ? And Jason was the smartest, huh ?”, Skulduggery asked.
M/n fought off the smile that wanted to come up and shrugged his shoulders. Skulduggery just grumbled good – naturedly, while Ghastly giggled. They continued their search and finally found what they were looking for. Ghastly pressed something in the wall and a part of it slid aside. Behind it was secret passage.
The siblings were in awe and Stephanie started to say that she couldn’t believe that it was always right under her feet, to which Skulduggery replied that she should get used to it. They entered and the wall slid shut, stairs that were lit by torches lid the way and they descended, the more they went down, the brighter the light got. They kept going until they arrived at a brightly lit lobby.
They entered. Marble and varnished wood paneling was in the room, no windows. Two men stood on the wall in the back, guarding, hands clasped behind their backs. They were dressed in grey clothes, wore long coats and some kind of helmet, the visor covered their faces and they both had scythes on their backs, a dangerous looking scythe blade on a one and a half meter long staff. A smaller man in a suit approached Skulduggery with Ghastly and greeted them.
“Mr. Pleasant, Mr. Bespoke. You came too early. The council is not gathered yet. I can show you to the waiting room, if you like.”
“I would rather use that opportunity to show our guests around a bit.”, Skulduggery replied.
The man blinked.
“I’m sorry, but the entry is only allowed to limited personal, as you know.”
“I only wanted to show my friends the repository. The book to be more exact.”, Skulduggery told the man.
“I understand. Well, as Administrator of the Sanctuary I would have to follow you, of course.”
“Of course, I insist on that.”
He bowed and then he led them away, they followed him. On their way they encountered even more of these grey clothed people. They scared Stephanie and M/n put and arm around her, to let her know that he will protect her.
“What are these ?”, she asked the two mages.
“Cleavers.”, Skulduggery answered.
“Security guards, law keepers and soldiers in one. Dangerous individuals. Be glad, that they are on our side.”, Ghastly said.
“Where are we going ?”, M/n asked softly.
“I want to show you both the book of names. Some claim, that the Ancients created it, but in reality no one knows, who made it or how it was made. It has all the names of the people of the world. The Given Names, the Taken names – if and when a name was taken again – and true names. Whenever a Baby is born, will a new name appear in it on another page. And when someone dies, disappears the name.”, Skulduggery explained.
“Then our true names stand in that book ?”, Stephanie asked.
M/n got worried.
“Just like mine and from many others.”
“That is not dangerous ? Whoever gets their hands on that book, can rule over the world.”, M/n said worried.
“My god ! And I just found myself stupid, because I thought that !”
The Administrator looked over his shoulder while walking.
“Not even the Elders open the book, too big is its power and it can ruin your character so easily. But they don’t find any solution, to destroy it. It can’t be ripped apart, burned, it won’t let us destroy it with anything that we have in our possession. If the legends are true and the book was truly made by the Ancients, than it is only logical, that the Ancients can destroy it. The Elders see it as their task, to keep an eye on it and to protect it from curious eyes.”
M/n looked at him skeptical.
They arrived at a double door. The Administrator made a sign with his hand and the doors flew slowly open. They entered the repository, a big room with marble pillars, that, as Skulduggery said, keep some of the most rare and unusual magical aids inside.
Some items the Administrator introduced to the siblings. Soon enough they reached the middle of the room and it was pretty empty. There was only a standing desk and on it laid a book.
“That is the book of names ?”, she asked.
“Yes, it is.”, the Administrator confirmed.
“I imagined it bigger.”
“It is as big, as it has to be, not smaller and not bigger.”
“And you can just leave it there like this ?”, M/n asked skeptically.
“It is not as obvious as you might think. As it was brought here, the Elders raked their heads as to how to keep it safe. How was it supposed to be protected ? A lock can anyone break open. A wall can be torn down. A Safe can be cracked open.”
“Yes, so ? Then they decided to just leave it out here in the open ?”, Stephanie asked.
“No, they came to the most sophisticated protection mechanism that existed. Willpower.”
“Pardon ?”
“The book is protected from the Willpower of the Elders.”
M/n snorted.
“That is great and all, but here is MY question. What if someone murders the Elders ? Hmm ? What then ? The book is unprotected and then what will you do ? Cry about it ? This is the most stupid idea ever.”, M/n said out loud.
“That won’t happen.”
The Administrator turned to Stephanie.
“Try it out. Take the book.”, he said to her.
M/n covered her from the man’s sight, protectiveness taking over.
“Me ?”, she asked.
“Yes you. Don’t worry, Sir. Nothing bad will happen to her.”
She looked at Skulduggery, which M/n did too. He wanted to know if this was the truth. He gave them no help at all. She turned back around and stepped out from behind her Brother.
“What do you think, you are doing ?! What if he is lying and you get hurt ?!”, M/n yelled in a panic.
“Nothing will happen to her, Sir. No worries.”
She stepped closer and closer to the book, but with each step she took, the less she wanted to continue. And then at some point, she turned around and came back. The man looked at M/n.
“Your turn, Sir.”
M/n gulped. He knew that he was different from his Sister. What if that won’t work on him ? Oh god he will be a danger-
M/n took a deep breath and looked at the man.
“Not that I want that thing in the first place. But fine, I will entertain you.”, M/n said and then went for the book.
His steps were sure and steady. He came closer and closer and he didn’t feel any weaker in his mind. He got worried. He was almost there. He turned around and looked at the others. Ghastly looked worried, while the Administrator was waiting for any effect, which M/n didn’t have. Should he...reveal it ?
“Uhm...Mr. Administrator ? I still don’t feel any effect ? Is that bad or good ?”, M/n asked.
“You...don’t ?”, he asked.
“No...”
“Prove it. Touch it.”, he said, voice filled with worry.
M/n looked at Ghastly and Skulduggery, scared.
“D-do I have to ? I don’t want to alarm anyone.”, M/n said softly.
“Don’t worry, you said you don’t want it. Nothing bad will happen.”, Stephanie told M/n softly.
M/n gulped and turned back around.
“I am going to close my eyes, I don’t wanna see any names. It ain’t my business !”, M/n called.
Then he took the last few steps to the book and reached his hand out, touching it. He threw his head back and looked at the ceiling, then slowly lowered it, to look at the Administrator. He was in shock and horror.
M/n quickly took his hand away, wiped it on his pants, it felt wrong to have touched it, and ran back over.
“So...is that Willpower broken, or is that something with me, again ? Like the Reflection thing and the thing that China did and it didn’t work on me ? Skulduggery ? Say something, I am freaking out !”, M/n asked the Skeleton in a panic.
“Wait...the reflection and Miss Sorrow’s spell ? They didn’t deceive you ?”, the Administrator asked.
“No ? I saw a horrid thing that looked nothing like me as my reflection and as China used something weird on me and my Sister, she fell in love and I just wanted to get away instead. What does that mean ? Am I in trouble ? Oh god, please don’t lock me away. I don’t even want that thing.”, M/n said freaking out.
“We better don’t tell Meritorius about this. He would freak out for no reason. Corrupted doesn’t even want it, so it is better to not make it a big deal.”, Ghastly said softly.
“It felt wrong to touch it ! God, why did you want me to touch it ?! It felt wrong and disgusting !”, M/n cried out in panic.
Ghastly pulled M/n to himself and looked at the shocked Administrator.
“Let’s not freak out right now. We don’t make this official right now. Okay ? Give us all time, to recover for a bit. If anyone finds this out, Corrupted will be in big danger.”, he told the man.
He nodded and led them back up, into the waiting room.
“What does this all mean ? Am I dangerous ? Will I be killed ? Will I be hated ? Will I be locked away ? I’m sorry !”, M/n muttered into Ghastly’s chest in panic.
“Calm down, Corrupted. No one knows this yet and we need you to calm down. Take deep breaths.”
M/n did as told and soon was very calm. After that the Administrator came back and led them into a big oval room. Soon enough the doors opened and inside came an older man with white hair and a short cut beard. He was big, bigger than Skulduggery. His suit had the color of granite and Stephanie noticed the shadows on his right side. M/n did too and stepped further in front and then stretched a protective arm out and over his sister.
“I don’t like that shadow trick... Makes me think he wants to hurt my Sister...”, M/n muttered out.
“That is not Meritorius’s shadow.”, Skulduggery said softly.
The shadows seemed to be next to Meritorius and they stretched out, more shadows came from the walls. Then they lifted up from the ground all of a sudden and turned into an elderly woman in black. She walked next to the big man and her steps got slower, as they came closer. A third figure came from out of nowhere, suddenly and appeared on the other side of the man. They seemed a bit younger than the other two and they wore a sky blue suit and the jacket that stretched over the considerable belly.
The siblings looked at the Elders and the Elders looked at them.
“Skulduggery”, said the big grown man then, “Sailing in your wake but always followed by trouble, am I right ?”
“I wouldn’t say that they are sailing after me. It is more like, they are sitting around and wait until I arrive.”, he replied.
The man shook his head.
“And these two are your new partners ?”
“That’s right.”
“No taken name yet ?”
“No.”
“At least something.”
M/n scoffed silently.
“What is that supposed to mean ? That is not good, as much as I’ve heard. Not here.”, M/n said, threatened.
The man turned to them. He saw how M/n protected his Sister and was slightly surprised that he sounded threatened.
“The overprotective one ?”, he asked Skulduggery.
“Yes, and he is already agitated, so careful. He might bite otherwise.”, Skulduggery warned.
“Skulduggery, I swear, if that was a stupid joke, I will kick your boney ass later. My Sister. Anyone touches her, they will lose that very hand, they dared to touch her.”, M/n growled out, protectively.
Stephanie put a hand on her Brother’s shoulder, to calm him down.
“I’m fine, Brother. Don’t worry.”, she said softly.
“For the record, I do NOT trust any of you three, nor do I LIKE any of you.”
“Taken into account, young boy.”, the older male replied.
“My name is Corrupted. NOT young boy.”, M/n said darkly, glaring the mage down.
The man looked at him with wariness and understanding. M/n was VERY protective of his Sister, indeed.
“Let me introduce myself then, from a bit away from you two. My name is Eachan Meritorius. I am the Grand Mage of this council. Next to me you see Morwenna Crow and Sagacious Tome. I assume that you already have a Taken name, which is a shame. But tell me that your Sister has no intentions to stay here much longer and doesn’t want to involve herself into our business.”
“That won’t happen.”, she replied dryly.
“You see ?”, mixed Skulduggery himself in, “Defiant.”
M/n’s glare intensified.
“If you only dragged us here, to start this Bullshit again, Pleasant, then we will have a few bones to pick later, you hear me ? We told you multiple times, there is no way in HELL that we go back !”, M/n snarled.
“You were both in dangerous situations”, Meritorius continued looking at the two, “and you surely want to go back to the safety of your normal all day life, right ?”
“What is so safe there ?”, she asked the mage.
M/n continued to glare, but stayed silent for now, letting his sister speak.
“Ah, rebellious !”, Skulduggery said again.
“I am very close in punching his jaw in, Sister...”, M/n growled out.
She squeezed his shoulder.
“Calm down...”, she whispered.
Then she looked at Meritorius again.
“I mean it. We could be run over, by a car, tomorrow, when we cross the street. We could be attacked tonight. You are nowhere safe.”
Meritorius lifted an eyebrow.
“That all may be true, but in your normal life you never had to deal with Mages and murder plots.”
The other two Elders looked at them with interest.
“That may be, but I don’t think we can forget all of this so easily.”
“Stubborn.”, Skulduggery said, shaking his head in sadness.
M/n growled loudly. “Pleasant, shut the fuck up, before I punch you so hard that you will lose your jawbone ! You are NOT helping to ease the tension ! You are making it worse !”, M/n yelled angered.
25 notes · View notes
dagger-n-ravvi · 6 days ago
Text
Chapter Two: Ever-So-Patient
Tumblr media
Jade and Floyd satiate their food cravings. Azul finds their method of doing so to be rather alarming.
Warnings: The graphic eating of raw eggs, public blowjobs, 69ing, mildly dubious content (on Azul’s part)
Previous | Next Chapter | Fic Index
A03 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46007587?view_full_work=true
The brothers make their way out of the lounge, and into the kitchen. Floyd grabs all the eggs he can find out of the fridge and stacks them grumpily on the table. Jade watches distantly as he flicks open the first carton and swallows an egg in one gulp, shell and all.
“Ahhhhh…” he sighs, expression smoothing into relief as he takes another. Jade sits down beside him, plucking an egg out of the carton for himself. He hesitates for just a moment as something in the back of his mind suggests that he should…cook this first. Be civilized…
He swallows the egg as Floyd did. He has no gag reflex in his eel form, and only a very slight one as a human, so it goes down easily. The smooth shell feels unbelievably satisfying as it rolls down, easing the emptiness in his middle with blissful, nourishing weight. Eagerly, he takes another. 
"We're...we’re not off…are we?" he asks, feeling lightheaded as takes a third. The crunch is soooooooo satisfying. And then the yolk sliding down…wonderful. Like manna from heaven…
"Hmmm?" Floyd crunches through the shell of his next egg before swallowing. His throat swells briefly, and a dribble of raw yolk leaks from the corner of his mouth. "I dunno. I feel weird, but not sick like Azul said. Not enough to see the nurse, prolly."
"I don’t know. He might be right," Jade admits, swallowing a fourth egg. “These are so good…why do we ever bother cooking them…” He looks over to Floyd, suddenly overcome by an urge to lean on him. So he does. He rests his head on Floyd’s shoulder, sliding over in his chair until he nearly falls out of it. Floyd grumbles irritably, but doesn’t shove him away like before. 
“You are so weird…”
“But you love me anyway~” Jade sings, taking in Floyd’s comforting scent. “You know… I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning.” The admission makes his cozy new pillow pause in surprise before eating the next egg.
"You? Stay in bed? HA. Maybe you ARE getting sick." Floyd licks the yolk off of his chin before grabbing another. Jade whines at him, and Floyd hesitates with the egg halfway to his mouth.
“You have arms. Get your own.” 
Jade whines again, clinging to Floyd’s arm with both hands and pleadingly opening his mouth. Floyd breath catches in his throat at the unfairly adorable display. His hand trembles slightly, and then he rolls his eyes, then pops the egg into Jade’s waiting mouth. He swallows it with a dull crunch, and a sing-song hum of satisfaction.
“Thank you, big brother. May I have another?”
“No. This one is mine.” Floyd pouts, shoving it into his mouth before Jade can use cuteness to beg him out of it again.
“How cruel… How could you be so cruel to your only living brother?”
“You want another? Give me space in your room for my clothes.” Floyd grins, seeing a chance to expand on his territory.
“Absolutely not.”
“Wha!? Why not?”
“My space is my space. Not Floyd’s,” Jade says primly.
“Then I ain’t feeding you!” Floyd shoves another egg into his mouth. He refuses to look at his twin’s big, begging eyes…
He glances down for just a moment and sees Jade pouting at him and nuzzling forlornly against his arm. “Stop it…”
“Nnnnn…” More pouting and faint, pitiful whining.
“No.”
Little snuggles continue. More whining, more pouting. 
“... Okay one more.”
Azul stares at them from the doorway, mouth open in silent shock as he watches them eat. A full three dozen raw eggs. They might have eaten more, but that is literally all they had in the fridge. Something is VERY wrong with both of them, and all he can do is pray it isn’t contagious before he has to buy up the island’s entire egg supply.
Floyd finally pushes Jade away and he wanders off with a disappointed grumble, but Azul manages to cut Floyd off before he can disappear too. Jade might have escaped, but Floyd won’t! 
“Nurse. NOW,” he insists, pointing to the gooey and shell-flecked remnants of his and Jade’s ‘dinner.’ “I’ll walk you there, come on.” 
“Noooo!” Floyd gripes, finding himself getting dragged unhappily into the hallway. “I’m tired! And my feet hurt. And my back. Wanna lay down…” He rubs his eyes. Azul notices that they’re bloodshot, and have dark circles underneath them. Is he not getting enough sleep?
“Floyd, I can’t have an epidemic spreading through my dorm on finals week,” Azul sighs, dragging Floyd into the campus hallway. “I need you to behave for me. What do you want in return for a few moments of your patience?”
Floyd freezes when Azul asks what he’d have to do for him to behave. “Suck me off,” he says bluntly, without any hesitation at all. Azul flinches, looking around to see if anyone heard that, but thank Seven, the hallways are empty. Their fellow students must all either be outside enjoying the sunset, or cooped up in their rooms cramming for the upcoming exams.
“Suck you off? SERIOUSLY?”
“Yeah.” Floyd plants his feet right outside the nurse’s office and crosses his arms refusing to move. Azul groans, noticing distantly that even though Floyd isn’t out of breath, he’s sweating enough to make big, dark blotches on his shirt. Fever maybe? 
“All right. Yes, but only AFTER we’re done here. Deal?” If Floyd is sick, then getting up close and personal with him will all but guarantee that Azul will catch it too, but so be it. He’s not exactly in a position to refuse. 
“No. Right here.” Floyd follows him into the empty infirmary. “C’mon Azul~” 
Azul freezes as Floyd comes up behind him and inhales deeply, nuzzling his nose into his hair. “Azulllllllll, you smell so good…” His hands creep underneath his shirt to palm his chest. Azul flinches, panicking lightly. Shit. What is the only thing that might be worse than an epidemic spreading through Octivanelle? The wrong person walking into this VERY PUBLIC space and catching him halfway through a blowjob. But if he turns Floyd down now, he’ll likely just head back to the dorm…
“You smell good too,” Azul purrs, eyeing the nurse’s office. It’s not a lie. Jade and Floyd both have a faint, brine-and-ocean-air smell that he assumes is unique to transformed eelmers. There’s a sweet, oddly enticing topnote on the scent now. It’s pleasant, like perfume with a touch of musk in it. “Come here then, if that’s really all you want.”
He pulls Floyd toward the office, hoping he can get him inside and lock the door before he gets it into his head to start taking off his clothes out here…
Floyd purrs in his chest and happily follows along. His pants are tight… soooo tight… he fumbles at his belt and shoes, kicking off one outside the office door, and the other inside.
“Isn’t it fun? The idea of getting caught…” Floyd whispers as Azul pushes him onto the exam bed.
“NO.” Azul locks, then double-locks the door with magic.
“Awww… I wanna see who would be ballsy enough to try and blackmail us~” Floyd deliciously runs both hands down his stomach, then slips his fingers into the waistband of his pants and pushes them down. The bulge of his hardening shaft shows perkily through the fabric of his octopus patterned boxers and he smiles giddily. That would be incredible… Azul’s mouth stuffed full, panicking as someone walks in~ Azul wouldn’t be able to say anything because obviously there would be a dick in his mouth, but Floyd would make sure that the fucker walks away from interrupting them with TWO broken legs…
“I have no desire to get caught by a stranger while in coitus EVER,” Azul shudders. He rapidly walks past Floyd and opens a drawer, flicking through thermometers, tongue depressors…ah. He finds a handheld biomagic medical scanner and turns it over in his hands…then swears under his breath. He has no idea how to use it.
“Booo…boring, but I get it.” Floyd sighs, idly kicking his legs and clinging wistfully to the fantasy. Azul should trust that Floyd will keep him safe~
“Not boring, practical.” Azul goes back into the drawer and finds the user manual, resisting the urge to groan when he sees that it’s literally an inch thick. The school nurse should really be here to do this. Is that man EVER at his post?!
“Azulllll….” Floyd growls softly. “If you aren’t gonna to play, then I’m gonna leave…”
“Ok, ok…” Azul tucks the scanner into his back pocket and walks back over to him. “Don’t be so impatient.”
Azul leans forward and presses a deep kiss between Floyd’s teeth, lightly running his fingers through his hair. At the same time, he lifts the manual behind Floyd’s back and opens it one-handed, flicking through pages with his thumb and looking frantically for operating instructions. If he can slip out of here without going further than kissing and heavy petting, he very much will. Floyd hadn’t taken his earlier deal, after all… 
Floyd sighs into the kiss, relaxing for just a moment before vigorously kissing back. His arms entwine around Azul’s body, greedily squeezing his ass and thighs. He breaks the kiss just a moment later with a tight, needy gasp. “Feel that…?” He grinds his pelvis into Azul’s with a low moan. “It’s waiting for you~“
Oh, Azul does feel that. He can’t NOT feel it, but Azul is no stranger to splitting his concentration between half a dozen tasks. He lightly traces Floyd’s lower lip with his tongue before capturing his mouth in another kiss and crawling onto his lap to grind against him, flicking through pages all the while. Is literally half of this wretched manual just the warranty agreement?! He would normally be impressed, but at the moment he just needs to know what buttons turn the damn thing on!
A little grumpily, Floyd pulls back from the kiss, and traces Azul’s swollen lower lip with his thumbs. “Whatcha doing?”
Azul gently takes one of Floyd’s thumbs into his mouth, suggestively folding his tongue around it in a slow, sinuous lick. Floyd’s breath stops, and a warm shiver rolls through the pit of his stomach as sucking pressure rolls over his skin. So warm, so soft... ‘oooohhhhooo… you absolute slut…’
Azul’s eyes flick away from the manual for just a moment to stare up into Floyd’s as he pops the now-wet thumb out of his mouth. “I’m getting ready,” he murmurs and tries to lean forward for another kiss. Floyd accepts this… for a second. And then he impatiently flips Azul over and pins him to the exam bed. Azul makes a surprised squeak, flailing and then gasping as kisses and feral nips are pressed to the underside of his jaw.
“Liar… you’re reading a stupid book.” Floyd chuckles in his ear.
“W-whhhh, F-Floyd?!” The manual is whipped out of his fingers before he can even think to hold onto it. Floyd tosses it over his shoulder, where it hits the far wall, and falls out of sight behind the desk.
“You are sick and I wa- HHH!” He arches as Floyd paws open his belt and all but tears open his pants. “I’m trying to find out why!”
“No more finding out,” Floyd drags Azul’s pants down his legs, leaving them bunched up around his ankles. “No more ‘why’.” He nips at Azul’s bare thigh, hard enough to break the skin and teach him manners for being distracted during sex.
“AGH! MUST YOU?!” Azul yelps, and Floyd soothes the bite, gently lapping up a few drops of coppery blood. He licks higher, creeping closer to Azul’s crotch before a wad of inconvenient underwear fabric gets in his way. Slowly he blinks, tracing the outline of Azul’s body underneath his tight fitting boxers in a somewhat dazed state.
‘Smells good… why does he smell so good?’ He barely has the presence of mind to pull Azul’s underwear down instead of tearing it off. Painting softly, he leans down and gives his cock a long, ardent lick. 
“If I…if I do you…” Floyd gives Azul’s cock a sloppy kiss, then probes teasingly at the slit with his tongue, “then you… do me…”
“Whh-HNGHHH!” Azul arches, fumbling weakly at Floyd’s head as he digs right in without a word of warning. Oh, oh, OH- His bared backside and thighs feel blisteringly vulnerable and chilled. He presses a hand over his mouth and glances desperately at the door. It would just be PERFECT if that worthless nurse decided to come back and do his job right as THIS is happening. At least he’ll have to unlock the door first, so that might give him some time to react...
In spite of his anxiety, or perhaps even because of it, his body is cheerfully responding to the attention. It’s been a few days since he had time to do anything sexual at all, and his skin feels traitorously needy. The resulting conflict leaves him lying frozen under Floyd’s enticingly-scented body, cock hardening and breath coming in short, shaky gasps. 
Floyd flicks his tongue against the head of his cock, then suckles it generously, savoring the flash of salt as precum beads at the tip. He hums in pleasure as it hardens, and lifts his mischievous, mismatched eyes to glance back at Azul’s face…and then rolls his eyes with an irritated sigh. He’s staring at the stupid door again instead of enjoying himself…
“Oi… you don’t wanna attract attention right? I got an idea, but you gotta lay the back of your head here.” Floyd reaches forward and taps the center of the pillow at the head of the exam bed. Azul swallows hard. Will it be faster to wrestle himself out from under Floyd than to just let this happen? Likely not, and even then, he doubts he’ll be able to get an angry, horny Floyd to hold still for a medical scan that he still has no idea how to perform. So in the interest of getting through this quickly, Azul does as directed, moving his head to the indicated spot. 
“I thought you wanted me to suck YOU off,” he protests weakly. “Did you change your mind?” 
Floyd kicks off his boxers, then flips around to straddle Azul’s head with his knees, letting his large, and fully erect cock cheerfully smack him in the face.
“Nah… I just thought if your mouth was occupied, you wouldn't be screaming so much.” Floyd snickers, crouching forward over Azul’s legs and giving his cock a fond lick to let it know he hasn’t forgotten about it. “And now you can’t see the door, so you won’t keep getting distracted by iiiiit~”
Dear god, this has really gotten out of hand. Blushing furiously, Azul takes the offered dick into his mouth and rolls his tongue over it, tilting his chin up and down to awkwardly move it in and out with the pillow pressing restrictively into the back of his head. Human bodies and dry-land limitations…if they were 69-ing underwater, it would be much less awkward. He has to mostly use his tongue, and he’s getting clumsier…the more Floyd distracts him…with his own mouth… 
Floyd sinks down to try and make Azul take him deeper. “C’mon Azul~ you're getting clumsy… I thought that mouth could do almost anything…” he taunts between licks.
“Hrrrk?!” Azul blushes harder, with a touch of offended pride this time. He wraps his arms around Floyd’s hips and jerks him down, holding his breath and swallowing around him. Floyd gasps mid suck, shuddering with pleasure. Hoping to surprise him into a fast orgasm, Azul thoroughly suckles Floyd’s shaft and rolls the back of his tongue beneath the head of his cock, before he literally bench-presses Floyd’s hips upward and draws him back out of his mouth with a dark chuckle. 
“Ah! Azul!” Floyd gasps, squirming as cold air curls over his dick. 
“You’re trying to get more out of me than we bargained for. You’d better be INFINITELY patient for me after this…”
“Ehe… what deal? I didn’t shake on-HHHHHH!“ Floyd gasps as Azul swallows deeply enough that his tongue peeks between his teeth and his nose brushes lightly against Floyd’s pubic mound. ‘His mouth can do almost anything.’ The nerve… 
‘Fuck Azul! Soo good! So good!’ Floyd moans. It’s so much but he wants…wants to make Azul come first! He redoubles his efforts, bobbing his head and sucking noisily while laving the shaft and head with his tongue. Azul shudders underneath him, choking lightly. Despite Azul’s initial bit of skill, it’s not much of a contest to see who can get who off first. In all things, Azul makes up for his lack of endurance with tricks, planning, preparation and fancy toys. In a spontaneous one-on-one, he has as little chance of holding out against Floyd’s endurance as a snowball does of staying frozen in a lit oven. It’s almost adorably soon when he comes, pushing Floyd out of his own mouth with shaky arms and an overwhelmed gasp. His core muscles flex and he arches up into Floyd’s chest, gripping his hips so tightly that it leaves the imprints of his fingers behind.
“F-fuck-” he whimpers, feeling overwhelmed by scent, sound, and feeling as Floyd noisily drinks up his release like a man dying of thirst. He even swirled his tongue as an added cherry on top!
“Haaahhh… ok… ok, now finish me off.” Floyd sits up and flips around, sitting across Azul’s face and shoulders. He tangles his fingers into Azul’s silvery hair and thrusts back inside. 
“Gugh-!?” Flinching from the overstimulation, and then the RUDE hair pull, Azul narrows his eyes and pushes him away.
“Noooo…You feel so good… c’mon… c’mon!” Floyd urges, desperate to reach climax himself. Azul rolls his eyes, then allows Floyd’s cock back into his mouth, and sneakily casts a spell. Deep, resonant vibrations immediately curl over Floyd’s entire length, rolling through the shaft and over the head as though an invisible vibrator has been pressed inescapably to his skin. 
“FUCK!” Floyd screams as he instinctively thrust down. “Oooooooh… cheater, cheater… fuck, I love it…”
Azul holds him in place, only lightly licking at the intrusion and smugly letting the spell do all the work. He chuckles to himself, feeling victorious…right up until the point where Floyd grinds down, and comes. 
It tastes completely wrong. Heavy, rich, sticky, and A LOT of it. It’s also oddly cold, which seems even stranger given that Floyd is sweating like his skin is on fire. This is all much more like what he’d expect from Floyd’s eel body than from his human one, but that shouldn’t be possible if he’s taking his potions! Azul flails underneath him, trying to push him off and wincing as Floyd’s fingers tangle more firmly into his hair. He has half a mind to bite him for being this rude, especially when the cool liquid overflows his mouth and pours down the sides of his face in a horrible, gooey mess.
‘LET ME GO!’ He chokes as some of it slips down his throat, and wrenches his head out from under Floyd’s body, tearing his hair out and losing his glasses in the process. He rolls off the bed and onto the floor, coughing and gagging. Spit and thick, pearly cum drips from his face and mouth in shimmering, gooey ropes, nearly making him throw up and add his lunch to the awful mess.
“Are. You. HAPPY NOW?” Azul spits, curling his fingers into a fist. The vibration spell kicks up a notch, giving Floyd absolutely no time to rest or catch his breath as Azul wipes his face off and clumsily yanks his pants back on. Where did his glasses go…?
“HAAAAAAHHHHH! Uh…uh huh…nuhhhhhh~” Floyd moans as he collapses onto his stomach and the dizzying smell of sex fills his awareness. He holds himself, hips twitching and vision fuzzy as Azul plucks his glasses out of the puddle beneath his head and wipes them off. So good, so good, so goooooooood~ He shakily grabs the pillow off the exam bed and shoves it between his legs, rutting into it with delirious satisfaction. Thank Seven. Azul can only imagine if Floyd grabbed him again. He… doubt he would maintain the ability to walk given how Floyd was treating the pillow.
Azul irritably straightens his bent glasses, jams them back onto his face, then staggers behind the desk to pick up the user manual. If Floyd doesn’t want to cooperate, then he’ll DISTRACT him long enough to find out why he’s suddenly so insanely horny on top of EVERYTHING else. He flips through the pages, absently maintaining the vibration spell and listening to Floyd’s moans, just in case he works himself up to the point of passing out. He wants him distracted, not dead.
“Finally! Who puts the user interface diagram on page seventy-three?!” He retrieves the scanner from where it fell beneath the bed and switches it on…
3 notes · View notes
sheep33hallow · 9 months ago
Text
Action Speaks (NaruSasu)
Rating: T
AO3
This was inspired by Cult of the Lamb
"I hate you." He hissed, cracking an egg open. Naruto had his arms wrapped around Sasuke's waist, chin resting on Sasuke's shoulder. Swaying together. Sasuke despises it. "I'm fine with that."
_____
Laying in the grass, Sasuke stares up at the sky. 
The sun is bright, the air is soft, and this morning his pregnancy was confirmed. 
He's tired. 
He didn't expect his life to be like this. It's too peaceful, and the community is too involved in each other's lives. A woman named, Sakura, she is apparently Naruto's first friend, and she was excited to get to know Sasuke. 
Now that his powers were sealed away, went unsaid. 
He used to be a God. Wings on his back, a domain to control and minions to do his bidding that Naruto thwarted one after another. 
He was tired of controlling his domain and wanted more after doing the same thing day in and day out. He didn't think much of Naruto. They exchanged words a few times before on many occasions before their final battle over the waterfalls. Naruto was a human with magic tricks. He shouldn't have won. The only thing he was happy about is he took the man's arm from him in the final moment of him sealing Sasuke's powers away. Before his tail dissolved fully, he was able to catch Naruto off guard by using his sharpen tip to slice it right off. 
A week later, when he woke up, he had a moon mark tattooed on his hand, and Naruto was next to him smiling as if they haven't been mortal enemies for over a decade. 
Sasuke remembers trying to set the bed on fire, and realizing to his horror he had been weakened. 
No powers. 
No wings. 
Nothing, but an idiot that was forcing him to be his own personal housewife. Sasuke refused to clean, which Naruto didn't mind, but Sasuke was made to cook. Naruto would hold his hand tight when they went grocery shopping in the market. 
The people always stopped them to talk. The council, and Naruto's trusted companions knew his true nature, yet the townspeople were left in the dark. Naruto was the Hero. 
It pissed him off even worse when he met the woman who gave Naruto his arm. She smirked at him, and told Naruto to bring him in for a checkup. 
He couldn't run from Naruto's hold when they were out in public, only letting Sasuke go when they were back on his land where it was warded with sigils. 
"I hate you." He hissed, cracking an egg open. Naruto had his arms wrapped around Sasuke's waist, chin resting on Sasuke's shoulder. Swaying together. 
Sasuke despises it. 
"I'm fine with that." 
"I will poison you." 
"I'm immune to poisons. Especially those that come from earth which is all you have access to." Naruto blew a raspberry into Sasuke's neck, causing Sasuke to drop his next egg. 
He tried to move from Naruto's arms. "Do not lay your spit on me." 
Naruto held on. "You are mine, but I can be persuaded to put my spit elsewhere." He raspberries his neck again. 
Sasuke was effective the next time, stopping on Naruto's foot. The hold loosened and Sasuke slipped out. "Pathetic." He said with a piercing look at Naruto. 
"I'm not the pathetic one." Naruto reminded. 
Sasuke's nose twitched in annoyance. "I am aware of my place, Hero. You could have killed me." 
Naruto kneeled on the floor to wipe the yolk up. "I do not kill." 
Sasuke finds Naruto's way of life dull. In his domain, they killed, and nothing was thought more of it. You lose a battle, you die. 
"Living with you is humiliating." He wishes he could fly from here. "I do not know how my domain is doing? If my brother is alive or if someone else had taken over." 
With the last bit of shell picked up and thrown in the trash. Naruto washes his hands. "Not my problem. You should have never come to the surface world in the first place." Naruto smiles before sticking his tongue out at Sasuke. 
Sasuke seethes. "I no longer wish to be here. I no longer have powers. I would rather try and make it on my own in the barren wastelands." 
Naruto laughs. "No. You are my partner. My spouse in the eyes of the people I serve, and on paper with the documents the council forged for me when I told them I wouldn't kill you." 
Sasuke's face was filled with disgust. "Spouse?" 
Sasuke remembers that day, when Naruto explained what a spouse was, and the dread in his stomach when he realized why he continued to mount Sasuke at night. 
In his domain, mounting only happened when a person declined a battle. When disrespect happened, either they fought, or there was a public submission. 
He didn't know humans had other reasons for mounting. 
Their domain naturally produced new individuals from the soil when it felt the population was low. 
"Sasuke!" Sasuke sits up from the grass. Coming out of his daydream. 
Naruto's sweating, a headband keeping his hair out of his face, and gloves. "I'm home!" His arms wide open, presenting himself to Sasuke's blank face. 
"Yay." He says dryly. "Woo." He says even drier, if possible. A small fist pump. "Is that good?" 
Naruto throws his head back with laughter, hands to stomach. 
Sasuke's upset that he can't stop himself from smirking. 
Naruto drops to his knees, crawling over to Sasuke, laying his head on Sasuke's lap. "Hi." 
Sasuke exhales, then rolls his eyes with a fun twinkle in his eye. "Hi, human." 
He pressed his cheek to Sasuke's stomach. "Heard you're pregnant. Think it'll be a demi-god?" 
Sasuke frowns. "I do not know, Naruto. It would be hard if so, and I don't have my powers to take care of them while you are away." 
Naruto bops his nose with his pointer finger. "Don't frown. I'll figure it out." 
Sasuke doesn't know if he believes him. 
Naruto takes his gloves off. 
_____
The baby comes out with wings on their back, and blonde hair. Screeching until it is placed in Sasuke's arms to lay upon his chest. Syncing their heartbeats together. 
They are in Tsunade's clinic, she is off to the side talking to a nurse. Naruto is crying. 
"You're ugly." Sasuke says. "Do you want to hold it?" 
"It is a girl." Tsunade speaks up, looking over notes. 
"Girl." Naruto sniffs next to them. He has a grip on the bars of the bed. "Tsunade, we have to tell Jiraiya I have a girl." 
"Un huh." 
"Do you wanna hold it or not?" Sasuke's annoyed. His hole aches, and he'll stab Naruto if the hero attempts to mount him anytime soon. 
"It's a girl, Sasuke." He stomps his foot with a pout before making grabby hands at the baby. Sasuke hands her over. 
Exhaustion soon takes over after that. 
They hide the baby's wing as best as they can when the grannies start to swarm their home. Giving advice, food, and clothes. 
His feelings about not having his powers are proven true when Tooru feeds on Sasuke's blood more than the baby formula that Naruto tries to get her to drink. 
He's exhausted from the blood loss. Even Naruto tried to give her some of his blood but she refused it, wailing until Sasuke awoke from his nap to feed her. Luckily she only needs to be fed once a day but she drinks a lot when the action occurs. 
"You need to fix this, Hero." He spits out one night. Tooru is sleeping, the grannies are gone and Naruto is healing his recent puncture wound around his nipple. Sasuke is sitting on the bathroom counter with Naruto between his legs. 
"Maybe we need to keep trying with the formula. Or until she gets into solids." 
"We do not know how long this will last! This form is weak. You impregnate me, figure this out or I will die from blood loss." 
"We can give you more red meat. That'll help." Naruto tries. Sasuke is healed now, he presses their chest together, he drags his nails lightly across Sasuke's lower back. "I can share my blood with you." He kisses Sasuke. 
Sasuke doesn't kiss back. "Can't you crack the seal a little bit? Just so I can use some of my powers." 
"No." 
Sasuke clenches his jaw. "I hate you." 
Naruto kisses him again. "I know, but trust me. You'll be happy. This will pass." 
"When you finally die on one of your little crusades, I will dance on your grave with Tooru." He kisses back. He takes hold of Naruto's head, deepening the kiss. 
"My death turns you on?" Naruto smiles. 
"My domestication arouses you, Hero?" 
Naruto moans, he takes his shirt off. "You have no idea." 
AO3
15 notes · View notes
sleepykye · 6 months ago
Text
Baking Bonds and Belly Laughs
Kind of a Mirio x Reader fanfic
Warning(s): None
Apologies for any spelling or grammatical errors in advance
Tumblr media
Tamaki Amajiki rarely invited friends over, so when he finally brought Mirio Togata to his house, it was a big deal. You, Tamaki's little sister, were curious about this loud and energetic friend you had heard so much about.
"Hey, Mirio, this is my sister," Tamaki mumbled, barely audible as he introduced you. You peeked from behind the doorframe, shy and quiet, much like your brother.
Mirio, with his usual exuberance, waved enthusiastically. "Hi there! Nice to meet you!"
You nodded shyly, barely meeting his eyes. "Hi."
From the moment Mirio entered the house, it felt like a whirlwind had blown through. He was everywhere, laughing, chatting, and making himself at home. You watched from a distance, intrigued by his energy but unsure how to approach him.
One day, while Tamaki and Mirio were hanging out in the living room, you decided to muster up some courage. You quietly entered the room, clutching a book to your chest.
"Hey, wanna join us?" Mirio asked with a bright smile, patting the space next to him on the couch.
You nodded and sat down, your eyes wide as you tried to figure out what to say. Mirio, sensing your shyness, decided to break the ice in his own unique way.
"So, do you have any funny stories about Tamaki?" he asked, winking at you.
You looked at Tamaki, who was now blushing furiously, and then back at Mirio. "Um... there was this one time he tried to talk to a girl, but he got so nervous he tripped over his own feet and fell into a trash can."
Mirio burst out laughing, clutching his stomach. Tamaki groaned, covering his face with his hands. "Sis, why?"
You giggled, feeling a bit more confident. "It was really funny."
From that day on, you found yourself hanging out with Mirio and Tamaki more often. Mirio had a knack for making you feel comfortable, and you started opening up bit by bit.
One afternoon, Mirio decided it was time for a surprise. "Hey, you guys ever tried baking cookies?"
You and Tamaki exchanged glances. "No, not really," Tamaki replied.
"Great! Let's make a mess—I mean, let's bake some cookies!" Mirio declared, dragging you both into the kitchen.
The next hour was pure chaos. Flour ended up everywhere—on the floor, in your hair, even on the ceiling. Mirio somehow managed to crack an egg on his head, and Tamaki, in his attempt to help, spilled a bag of chocolate chips all over the counter.
You couldn't stop laughing. "Mirio, you're supposed to put the eggs in the bowl, not on your head!"
Mirio grinned, egg yolk dripping down his face. "Hey, I'm just adding some extra protein!"
By the time you finished, the kitchen looked like a disaster zone, but the cookies turned out surprisingly delicious. You all sat on the floor, eating your messy, slightly misshapen creations and laughing at the chaos.
"You know," Mirio said, munching on a cookie, "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."
You smiled, feeling warm and happy. "Yeah, I think so too."
From then on, Mirio became a regular at your house, always bringing his infectious energy and laughter. And you, once the shy and quiet sister, found yourself coming out of your shell more and more, thanks to the boy who turned every moment into a joyful adventure.
5 notes · View notes
melancholysway · 2 years ago
Note
So like the 2003 turtles were supposed to be pets, right? This gives me a thought
Y/N: Y'know, about 15 years ago I bought some baby turtles, four to be exact. But my little brother snuck into my room and took them. Wanted to "take them for a walk", he said. Haven't seen them since.
Donnie: Um
Donnie: That's nice...
Y/N: Your name was supposed to be Egg Yolk
Donnie: Well, I suppose that's one more reason to be glad that I was mutated
Y/N: I named Raph Snappy because he kept fuckin biting me
🦎
No cap Raph look like he bites bro mutant or no mutant 😭😭
Like 2012 Raph looks like he will bite someone’s finger off for funsies & 2007 is definitely a masochist idc
Idk how to explain it but he looks like that LMAO
44 notes · View notes
heart-of-wool · 1 year ago
Text
7/11/2023
Weigh in, OMAD, Apples, Therapy
Hello again!!! As always, starting off with a weigh in... I'm so scared because what if I maintained (physically impossible)... today I am 88.8 lbs!! WOOOOOO NO MAINTAINNN what an incredible start to my day!!!! No maintaining!!!!!
Isn't this lovely!! So onto my favorite topic, my lunch! Today I had a can of tuna, a soft boiled egg, peppermint tea and... an apple! I decided not to eat oatmeal today even though I said I would yesterday. The apple was very delicious!! It was a lot smaller than I thought though, but that's a good thing. But I did a terrible thing and my brother gave me a chicken nugget and I ate it... I also ate his egg's yolk because he doesn't like egg yolk... it's still below my 500 absolute limit, but it's over 300 so I feel really awful.. I will exercise hard to fix this!! I won't eat a single bite of anything else today (I never do anyways, lunch is my OMAD) and tomorrow all I will eat is one boiled egg, I have to fix this!! I'm sorry ☹︎ I should have more self control, I won't binge because of this, instead I'm going to fix it, because that's what you should always do, don't make it worse, fix it before it gets really bad. No wonder I'm still so big ☹︎☹︎☹︎ I won't show this fat behavior ever again!!!!! I'll remember this and learn from it! My lunch didn't taste good today anyways, except for the apple. Tomorrow is another day.
I went to therapy today. It was good! Usually I don't enjoy it but I enjoyed it today. We talked about how I got bullied in school, luckily people aren't so mean anymore. It's funny because I never realized how ridiculous the teasing was. Now people treat me like... a delicate little teacup that will break if you hold it too tight. The wonders of weight loss, even though it was only 10 lbs!!! People treat smaller people much better, remember that. People hold doors, offer to carry my things, compliment me, asking to hold my wrists and asking to pick me up... it's heavenly. My teacher told me how thin my legs were and how I remind her of her daughter who is a model.. I was euphoric ALL DAY after that. Food will never compare to these experiences!!!
Onto apples!!! I love apples, amazing food, so filling and delicious. Very sweet, so it helps with my sweet tooth. I like to cut them up because it looks pretty. These apples we have are very small. They're very very delicious! I hope tomorrow goes by quickly because I want to eat another apple soon. I like bananas way more though. I like bananas more than most fruit.. too delicious. Fruit sent down from Heaven.. that's what all fruit is though, because it's so delicious. Never underestimate fruit. It makes you feel full and happy and it's very healthy! Eat fruit often! That's all for today though, I need to exercise right now!!!!!!!
If you read this far, thank you!!!! ILYSM muah muah muah!!!! ♡♡♡
Lots of love, heart-of-wool ☺︎
11 notes · View notes
wouldntyou-liketoknow · 2 years ago
Text
Toxic Tutorials
(Both of the characters in this story belong to me. You can find more information about Azalea here. Caliban and Murdock will only be mentioned, but my boys still deserve credit. So, for more information about Caliban, go here. For my personal headcanons on Murdock, who belongs to the Markiplier Cinematic Universe, go here. And if you’d like to learn more about the mob these guys all work for, go here.)
(Trigger Warnings: talk of death/dying, poisonous plants, toxic chemicals, talk of pain/sickness, implied murder, food, talk of eating/drinking, descriptions of illegal business, strong language. Please let me know if I missed anything.)
A soft, satisfying crack broke the silence in Azalea’s kitchen. The egg in her hand dripped with yolk and albumen—the same way a skull might drip with brains and blood.
After tossing the broken shell into the garbage can, she spent the next moment or two incorporating the yolk into a concoction of butter, sugars and 🅥🅐🅝🅘🅛🅛🅐 🅔🅧🅣🅡🅐🅒🅣. She repeated this process with a second egg, as well as a blend of flour, baking soda and salt. Once that was done, she exchanged her hand-mixer for a silicone spatula, which she used to fold in a bag’s worth of chocolate chips.
Just like that, Azalea had a bowl full of fresh, ready-for-the-oven cookie dough on her hands.
However, she wasn’t about to bake it. She left the mixing bowl on the counter before heading to the sink to wash the equipment she’d used. 
A few special ingredients had to be added before this batch of cookies could be completed. Obviously, Azalea could’ve just taken care of this herself. It wasn’t like there was anything to stop her. . .
As she set her tools on the drying rack, the long, loud, pre-recorded chime of her doorbell suddenly rang throughout the house. Azalea startled (whether or not this could indicate the cleanliness of her conscience was up for debate), but was still quick to compose herself. 
She walked through the living room and took a moment to peer at her reflection on the TV’s black screen. After checking her white button-down for stains and making some adjustments to her cherry-red headband, Azalea moved to the front foyer and pulled the door open. She discovered Murdock’s tagalong on her front porch. They flinched, probably having been rocking back and forth on their heels during their wait.
“Oh, hey!” The Newcomer blurted, offering a small hand-wave as their gray eyes met her brown ones. “You, uh—you must be Azalea, right?”
Azalea hummed in affirmation. “Just call me Aza if you’d like.” 
She held out a hand, which The Newcomer was quick to grasp. She took a few seconds to look them up and down as they shook. The Newcomer stood at an average height: much taller than her, about the same as Caliban and Murdock.
Aside from that, their characteristics were. . .vague. Vague enough to make the scarlet leather gloves on their hands stand out even more than they already did. A backpack was slung over their shoulder, boasting a pattern that resembled a hodge-podge of newspapers. 
“Nice to meet you,” they said with a polite smile. “Thanks for taking the time today.”
“Likewise! It’s no problem at all,” Azalea answered as she stepped aside. “C’mon in.”
The Newcomer stepped forward, their eyes wandering about the decor around them as their host closed the front door. They then padded after her as she returned to the kitchen. 
Azalea hovered in the space between her oven and the bar, gesturing towards the stools on the other side of said bar. “I heard you met my brother for a demonstration a little while ago. Did he treat you well?”
As they set their backpack down and took a seat, The Newcomer’s eyes widened. The smile remained on their face, though it grew ever-so-slightly nervous. 
“Yeah,” they eventually answered. “Cal was super welcoming. His methods were interesting to study.”
“That’s nice to hear. He said you were a great help.” Azalea could tell they were being genuine, but she supposed she couldn’t really blame their anxiety. Sure, they were new to the whole being-a-contract-killer-and-doing-other-types-of-illegal-stuff-professionally racket, but interacting with a cannibal was in a whole other ballpark.
Gratitude manifested in The Newcomer’s eyes, slowly but surely overtaking the wariness. It was a refreshing thing to see.
“Now, to business,” Azalea pronounced. She rested her hands on the bar, lightly drumming her nails on the marble finish. “What do you know about toxic stuff?” 
“I, uh. . .well. . .” The Newcomer chewed their lip in thought. 
Azalea stayed quiet, raising her eyebrows, showing patience and encouragement.
“Oh! I know almonds can mask the taste of cyanide,” The Newcomer eventually answered. “And arsenic is basically untraceable, since its key elements are vital to the diets of most mammals.” They paused, awkwardly glancing around the room. “That’s about it, I guess.”
“Hey, that’s still a decent start,” Azalea reassured. “You already know more than I’d expected.”
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve just never really worked with poison before,” The Newcomer said with wide, uncertain-yet-curious eyes. They obviously weren’t afraid of the concept; just a bit shy about it. Their tone was somewhat similar to that of a schoolkid introducing themself to their new class.
(Which, in a strange way, they kind of were. If you squinted, at least.)
“A lot of people haven’t. In fact, a lot of people probably shouldn’t, because that’s how news stories about blue-ringed octopi being handled without gloves happen.” 
The Newcomer let out a light chuckle. “And that makes the professionals look bad, huh?”
“Exactly.” Azalea felt something grim etch its way into her smile. “And that’s why you’re here. Even if you don’t end up having poison as your signature, it’ll still be good for you to know your way around it. Just in case.” 
Azalea stepped away from the bar, beginning to pace the kitchen floor as she continued. “Different materials have to be handled in different ways. For example: if you wanted to use venom from a snake or a spider, you’d have to inject it into your target in order to get actual results.”
“Wait, really?” The Newcomer asked. “Venom wouldn’t work on a target if it was swallowed?”
“You’d think that it would. When I first started out, I thought so, too. But it all comes back to the difference between poison and venom. Which is. . ?” Azalea gestured toward The Newcomer, encouraging them to speak.
“If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous,” The Newcomer stated, as though they were practicing with grammar flashcards.
Azalea nodded. “Very good. Venom is harmful when it gets into your veins. And the acids in your stomach are actually strong enough to break down venom before it’s absorbed into your bloodstream. You’d probably still get sick, but that’d be it.” 
“. . .Oh! Okay, that makes sense.” The Newcomer replied, eyes thoughtful. They considered this for a good few seconds before inquiring, “What if the target had an ulcer? Would that make venom kill them if they ate it?” 
“Yeah, it would!” Azalea laughed. “And you said you don’t have much experience with this stuff!”
The Newcomer offered a timid smile, shrugging. 
“But when you’re taking on a job, you can’t really depend on something like an ulcer,” Azalea quickly added. “We may need to know as much about our targets as possible, but sometimes, our clients can only provide so much information. And even when we do our own research, we still have limits to deal with.”
The Newcomer nodded. “Right, right.”
“Getting back on track. Injecting venom can certainly be effective, but it doesn’t offer much in the discreet department.”
“And this family relies on things being handled quietly and carefully,” The Newcomer said with an air of understanding. “When in doubt, hide in plain sight.”
Azalea hummed. “And if poisoning a meal doesn’t count as camouflage, then I’m not sure what does.”
She quickly strolled over to the laundry room. On the cabinet above her washing machine, a vaguely owl-shaped watering can looked out over everything below. It was covered in pieces of colored metal, which gave the impression of spiky feathers. The very top of the can boasted a piece of coppery metal that had been cut into an upside-down, slightly-curved triangle to give the owl a pair of those ear-horn-things and a beak. The can’s spout was hidden behind said beak, which was flanked by a pair of wide yellow eyes with huge pupils.
Caliban had given this to Azalea for Christmas last year, and ever since then, it’d been one of her favorite household items. Azalea unfolded an elaborate mahogany stepstool beside the washing machine in order to reach the owl-can, then carried it over to the kitchen sink and held it under the faucet. 
“Would it be okay if I took pictures throughout the process?” The Newcomer asked from behind her. 
Though Azalea didn’t flinch, she became tense on instinct as she turned the water off. She then turned to face The Newcomer, her dark brown eyes drilling into their dull gray ones, looking for any trace of dishonesty or ulterior motives. 
The Newcomer blinked, and another type of nervousness appeared in their expression.
They were quick to add, “Ah, if it’s a no, then I won’t push it. I just thought this could be some good material for my notes.”
“‘Notes?’” Azalea echoed. “What kind of notes?”
The Newcomer unzipped one of the compartments in their backpack, quickly fishing out a small roll of tape, an Instax camera, a mechanical pencil. . .and a journal. They offered the book to Azalea, who carefully took it and examined it.
The front cover was grayish-black card stock, adorned by image of a jumping spider which seemed to have been hand-embroidered with vivid purple threads. When she opened it up, she discovered lines of neat penmanship, as well as some sketches here and a few small photographs there. The first several pages were full, but there were still at least a hundred more pages that remained blank.
“I know my phone and laptop are safe, but Murdock said it’s good to keep an extra log,” The Newcomer mentioned. “Since I’m still just making my way here.”
Azalea pursed her lips in thought. That did sound like the kind of advice Murdock would give.
One part of her wanted to be suspicious; like The Newcomer had just said, any electronics belonging to Pentas representatives were in no danger of being tapped or recorded.
The same couldn’t exactly be said for something more physical, like this notebook. Especially if said notebook wound up being lost. . .or being turned over to an outside party. . .
However, another part of her remembered that not just anyone could join The Pentas Family. Underground business was never for the faint of heart—if you really wanted to make a name for yourself, then you had to earn it. You had to give up blood, sweat, and tears (and if you were to end up doing something traitorous, then even more of those bodily fluids would be taken from you. Violently). So, of course, The Boss was always vigilant when it came to bringing in new people.
Though she’d only known The Newcomer for a short time, Azalea could already tell that they were a good addition. They were just getting their feet wet, but they clearly had that cunning, unconventional and resourceful nature that The Boss invested in. 
“As long as you don’t aim the camera flash at my eyes, I’ve got no problem with photography,” Azalea finally stated as she gave The Newcomer’s journal back to them. “Just make sure you keep close track of this book.” 
“Of course,” The Newcomer said, nodding solemnly. 
Azalea took a few more seconds to peer at them before turning on her heel to lead them through the laundry room, out the backdoor, and into her backyard. 
The weather was lovely today. Birds were singing, clouds were slowly chasing one another across the sky. Sunlight glinted off the panes of Azalea’s greenhouse, making it almost appear to be sparkling.
The structure’s looks were truly just as deceiving as the things that it was currently protecting.
Azalea paused before the glass door, reaching into one of her pockets and fishing out a small bronze key. Although it didn’t have much of an antique appearance, its bow had been crafted to resemble one half of a pomegranate; the seeds packed inside were visible. If a mold hadn’t been used to make it, then the designing process must’ve been painstaking. 
She slipped the pomegranate key’s biting cuts into the greenhouse’s doorknob, then turned it to the left. Once she heard a sharp, confirming click, Azalea held the door open, allowing The Newcomer to step inside.
They gaped in wonder, slowly turning in a circle to take in the beautiful controlled chaos. She chuckled at the sight of a killer-in-training looking like a kid in a candy store. As she worked with these plants on a regular basis, she’d gotten adjusted to the veritable explosion of color in here.
White baneberries resembled tiny eyeballs, and the red branches they sprouted from added to an eeriness factor. . .Hydrangeas gave off soft, soothing vibes; the way their blooms clustered together could almost remind one of popcorn balls. . . Angel’s trumpets were colored similarly to pale peaches. . .Larkspurs came in a lovely mixture of blue and purple. . .Bleeding hearts were vividly pink and hung from sinuous, gently-curling tendrils. . .
And that was just scratching the surface of Azalea’s collection. 
The air in here was a bit more humid than the air outside, which seemed to make the various scents wafting off of the flora even stronger. Two of the four walls were adorned by wooden shelving, which in turn supported a few dozen flower pots that came in a plethora of shapes, sizes and colors (more past gifts from Caliban. He really knew how to make a horticulturist happy).
Some were kept in shade under suspended veils, and others nearly seemed to glow in the sunlight. Dew droplets clung to leaves here and there. A few baskets hung from the ceiling, almost identical to the decorations on lamp posts lining the streets downtown. 
Azalea led The Newcomer over to a wide folding table at the head of everything. She set the owl-can down, then rummaged through the boxes stowed beneath said table, dragging out some basic gardening tools, a bunch of small plastic bowls, and a bag of soil. The Newcomer placed their journal and camera on one corner of the table, trying to take up as little space as possible.
“We’re gonna kill two birds with one stone.” Azalea donned some clean leather gloves. “I’ve got a job coming up this weekend, and today’s repotting day for some of the plants. So, while I’m taking care of them, you’re gonna help extract some of their poison. Sound good?” 
The Newcomer nodded briskly, their eyes excited and unhinged. “Sounds great.” 
Azalea grinned. “Let’s get to work, then.” 
She stepped away from the table and surveyed the shelves, wondering which plant would be best to start with. She wound up choosing one specimen that was adorned by little rows of white, bell-shaped flowers dangling from thin stems. They looked like something a cartoon pixie might wear as a hat. Delicate. Innocent. 
Azalea lifted its pot—which looked like a kodama sitting cross-legged—off the shelf and set it down on the table. “You know what these are?”
The Newcomer blinked at her, then cautiously leaned forward to get a closer look. Their features softened. The plant practically smelled the way it looked: sweet and fragile. 
“. . .Snowdrops?” They eventually guessed. 
Azalea shook her head. “Nope.”
“Ladybells?”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Cassiope?” 
“Close,” Azalea said, impressed, “but no. Give up?”
“Yeah,” The Newcomer admitted. Their tone was partially defeated, but still curious. “What are they?”
Azalea took one of the stems into her hand and held it away from the rest. “Lilies-of-the-valley,” she announced. 
The Newcomer grabbed their Instax, kneeling in order to get a closeup on the flowers. Azalea looked the other way as they focused the lens. 
Whrrrrrrrrr. . .SKRT-CLK!
A quick, sharp, bright light flashed at the press of a button. The camera softly hummed as The Newcomer stood up straight. A few seconds passed before a small photograph popped up through a slit on the camera’s side. The Newcomer pulled it out by one corner and carefully shook it up and down. The black rectangle in the center gradually filled with color.
Azalea offered a thumbs-up, which caused The Newcomer to beam as they taped the picture to a blank page in their journal.
As they wrote down and underlined the specimen’s name, Azalea wrapped one hand around the stems to bring them all together. She used her other hand to dig into the soil, gently lifting the lilies out and laying them down on the table. She separated two plants from the rest, pushing them and a pair of gardening scissors towards The Newcomer. “Just cut off the blossoms and put them in one of these bowls.”
The Newcomer took the tool into their hands, nodding enthusiastically. 
While they went to work, Azalea took the kodama-pot outside and upended it over her compost mound, getting rid of the old, dry dirt. After that, she hurried back into the greenhouse and gathered the lilies up. She held them in the center of the kodama-pot, carefully pouring some fresh soil around them. 
Once they had enough support, she gave them some water and returned the kodama-pot to its place on the shelves. Then, she glanced at the table and realized that The Newcomer had completed their task; one bowl was filled with the bell-shaped flowers. 
“Two leaves are enough to make a target severely ill,” Azalea said. “If you’re looking for more fatal results, then you’ll need to use five of the flowers. Its berries can work just as well, but they only sprout around fall.”
The Newcomer paused at this, quickly jotting down notes beside the photograph. “How long does it take? What does the poison do to a person?”
“The symptoms can occur anywhere from two to twenty-four hours. It typically starts off with headaches and dizziness. But then there’s nausea, vomiting, and chest pain. Near the end, the target will experience an altered mental status, an irregular heart rate. . . .and, eventually, cardiac arrest.”
“Holy shit,” The Newcomer murmured, eyes widening in shock. 
“Holy shit indeed,” Azalea said as she took another unique planter from the shelves.
This one was a mottled gray color, sculpted in the likeness of a wolf’s raised head. Its clay jaws were wide open and hollow; seven stems lined with dark purple, helmet-shaped flowers seemed to have sprouted from deep within the beast’s throat. 
As Azalea carried it over to the table, The Newcomer looked up from their journal. 
Their face lit up with recognition as they proclaimed, “Hey, I’ve seen those before! Wolfsbane!” Their uncertainty was made of some stern stuff, because it took no time at all for them to question, “Or. . .is the name monkshood? I’ve heard both, but—”
“It goes by both of those names,” Azalea interjected, “so, you’re right either way. Eating it will make your mouth go numb, your skin turn clammy, and cause awful stomach pain. And after that, a target can expect labored breathing and an irregular heartbeat. Just a two-milligram dose can kill within four hours.” 
The Newcomer’s hands were nearly a blur as they readied their Instax. Once again, Azalea had to brace herself for the flash, but it wasn’t long before she was removing more old soil and leaving three of the wolfsbane plants out for The Newcomer. 
“Every part is dangerous, but the roots are where this poison is at its strongest,” she explained. “You can take off the flowers if you want, but you don’t have to.”
“Got it,” The Newcomer stated, taping their new photograph to a fresh page in their journal. . .
___
“I still can’t believe I never thought to do my own research on the poinsettia myth,” The Newcomer stated. They were currently holding a calcite mortar-and-pestle, using it to grind some freshly-dried wolfsbane roots into a fine powder. 
Azalea shrugged as she reduced a mound of belladonna berries to paste with a stainless steel masher. “I mean, it’s partially true. Those things are toxic, just not deadly. Besides, I can’t really blame people for wanting to keep their pets safe, y’know?”
The Newcomer hummed, nodding, probably thinking about the beloved dog they’d mentioned to their host a little while ago.
About twenty minutes had passed since Azalea’s greenhouse had returned to being silent and empty (aside from all the greenery it sheltered). Azalea found herself back in her kitchen, The Newcomer still by her side, the two of them working on the fruits of the harvest.
Oleander petals became liquified inside a food processor, and the lilies-of-the-valley met a similar fate thanks to a blender. Foxglove blossoms were being dried out inside a microwave oven, having replaced the wolfsbane’s roots just a moment ago. 
“And the hemlock trick!” The Newcomer pronounced, eyes widening as their previous frustration vanished. “A flower that forces you to smile when you die? It’s crazy how something like that can actually exist!”
“Yeah, well, muscle constriction is a heck of a thing,” Azalea replied. “Too bad hemlock’s so traceable. Can’t really be used unless you’re sending a specific message.”
It was honestly delightful to have seen just how inquisitive The Newcomer really was. If she’d met them in normal society, she probably would’ve mistaken them for someone who still had the luxury of innocence. 
The poison-preparation-process took almost no time at all. After lining up her used equipment by the sink, Azalea produced a box of glass vials that, while appropriately labeled, were empty. One by one, she handed a certain vial to The Newcomer, who paced around the kitchen to fill it with the right substance. 
And as they were taking care of the last vial, The Newcomer suddenly stopped short.
“Why’re those in here instead of your greenhouse?” They asked, pointing over to the living room. “Are they not poisonous like the rest?”
Azalea raised an eyebrow, following their gaze and quickly understanding. 
Just behind Azalea’s sofa, yet another planter sat in one corner of the front windowsill; it was in the shape of a human skull. Its teeth resembled tarnished brass, and purple spirals had been painted in the darkness of its eyesockets.
A hole had been carved out of the skull’s crown, and a healthy shrub currently protruded through said hole like an erupting geyser. Several lovely blossoms stood out against dark green leaves. The petals were a rich pink hue, funnel-shaped with a slightly rippled appearance. 
The space in her house was very nicely furnished, but these were the only flowers that had apparently been grown in here rather than outside. 
“Oh, no! They can definitely be life-threatening,” Azalea eventually answered. “I guess they’re just very special to me.”
“How so, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“They contain grayanotoxins. So, their side effects range from blurred vision, vomiting, and low blood-pressure to convulsions, mild full-body paralysis, and even seizures.” Azalea strolled over to the skull-planter, reaching out to gently poke at the specimen’s petals. “All parts of it are deadly, although the leaves pack a serious wallop. But its real strength is in its nectar.”
“. . .Are you saying this plant’s honey can kill?” 
“That’s exactly what I’m saying!” Azalea declared. 
The Newcomer blinked before starting to laugh. “I guess that must be the easiest stuff for you to use, huh?
“Yes and no. I have special connections to the local flower shop, which means I can send these off to contracted beekeepers,” Azalea explained. “But honey harvested from these flowers tends to be dark red, so, kinda-sorta-extremely identifiable.”
“Ah. I can see how that might throw a wrench into certain plans,” The Newcomer agreed, wandering closer. “But how does the honey work?” 
“After bees finish ingesting the nectar and secrete it into their hive’s combs, the water inside the honey will evaporate. That’ll make the toxins even more concentrated.” Azalea paused, grinning wickedly. “When consumed in large amounts, it generally does the same damage I just told you about. In smaller doses, let’s just say that the consumer’s gonna be. . .seeing things for a while.”
The Newcomer gawked at this. If their expression didn’t qualify for morbid fascination, nothing would. “Really? You mean. . .like a hallucinogenic?”
“It isn’t called Mad Honey for nothing.”
“Wow,” The Newcomer breathed. 
“I know, right? And can you guess what the best part is. . ?”
“What?” The Newcomer stared at the gorgeous pink blossoms, no doubt wondering how this risky treat they’d just learned about actually tasted.
“The honey’s actually legal to sell in the states!”
“Nuh-uh! You’re kidding!”
“No, I’m not!” Azalea chortled. “It’s prohibited in plenty of other nations, but here? It’s just expensive as all hell.”
The Newcomer still looked very much disbelieving, but the shock in their eyes soon morphed into something more thoughtful. They considered this information for a long few seconds. 
They eventually remarked, “So. . .if you were to sell some Mad Honey to a target, as long as you played your cards right, their death would only be seen as a case of accidental overdose?”
Azalea jokingly clapped her hands, nodding and smirking. “I can see why Murdock decided to vouch for you.” 
The Newcomer stayed quiet. They offered a small smile in response; it was hesitant at first, but an undeniable trace of madness could be seen. 
Azalea reached over to clap them on the back, gently leading them back over to the kitchen. “Let’s get back to it. How’d you like to choose what I put in the cookie dough?”
Though The Newcomer seemed both excited and honored by the prospect, they suddenly stuttered, almost halting in their tracks.
That made Azalea give pause. “. . .Is something wrong?”
“No, no. Don’t worry,” The Newcomer blurted, shaking their head. “I just realized—I never got the name of those flowers.” They glanced over their shoulder at the skull-planter.
Azalea’s brief concern shifted back to unconventional happiness. “Oh, didn’t I say?” Her voice was coy, as she was well-aware that she hadn’t brought up the title at all. “They’re azaleas.”
@sammys-magical-au   @neons-trash-blog  @insane4fandoms  @callmegkiddo  @safe-hayven  @themarpsimp
7 notes · View notes
sydneyofalltrades · 1 year ago
Note
i remember a post you made where you said moni and noel sometimes has sleepovers on the weekends so maybe you could write that if you want to :)?
yes, i would love to! i, however, have just woken up anon, so this will not be some of my best work.
“Hey, rockstar.”
Moni looked up from her tablet. “What?”
She saw Noel’s head poking out from the attic hatch. “Wanna have a sleepover?”
Moni frowned. “What’s that?”
Noel climbed into her room. “Come on, you’ve got to know what a sleepover is.
Moni shook her head. “Does it require staying at someone’s place for shelter at night?”
Noel stared at her like she had cursed his bloodline. “You, poor child, are having a sleepover with me. Grab your pillow and a squishmallow and get downstairs!”
Moni blinked as he left in a huff and slammed down the hatch. Was it something she had said?
Regardless, she did as she was told and found herself in Noel’s room. There was the inflatable mattress she had used while her mom was getting her room set up, and there was a pajama set already spread on the mattress.
“Noel? What is this?”
She looked up and saw him smiling massively. “Come on, your French disapproving face won’t work. I got you matching pajamas because that’s how it works!”
Moni looked back at the outfit and then looked at her brother. “What else happens in sleepovers then, oh wise guru?”
Noel grinned wickedly. “Little sister, you’re about to find out.”
He dragged her into the kitchen and they both made a mess making some snacks for what Noel assured her was part of the plan. Once their snacks were ready, he dragged her again to his room.
“Noel, I’m covered in flour and sugar and probably egg yolks. Can I please just take a shower and go to sleep?”
Noel laughed. “You don’t sleep during sleepovers, that’s just what they tell you. You can take a shower and get ready but we’re not even halfway done!”
“Merde, I’m going to murder you!”
“Wouldn’t want that on your conscious, petite sœur! Hurry up!”
Moni fumed but did as he asked. Her only weakness was when Noel used her native language.
Twenty or so minutes later, she sat on his bed as he did her nails and they were actually having a good time. Matching pajamas and all.
“I never realized how silly and fun this is,” Moni said giggling, “I think I really like your idea of a sleepover, poet.”
Noel finished her nails and smiled. “Finally, she acts like a proper girl.”
Moni stuck her tongue out at him. “Jerk.”
She looked at her fingernails and saw he painted them a deep blue with black undertones. It was a very good look for her.
“Okay, now we get into the most important part of a sleepover.”
Noel grabbed their snack tray and placed it on his bed. He clapped his hands eagerly.
“The gossip!”
Moni rolled her eyes. “Noel, please, we’re not doing that.”
“Oh, come on! You’ve gotta have something you’re dying to share.”
Moni pursed her lips. “Well.. there is something.”
Noel was intrigued. “Ooh, spill.”
Moni snorted. “For fifteen bucks.”
Her brother frowned. “Why?”
Moni smirked. “My information is a transaction. You get the gossip, I get the cash.”
Noel nodded. “Touché, you evil witch.”
“I’m not evil, I’m just a bit petty, is all.”
Noel attacked her in a hug and she laughed. “Stop being so silly and give me the details, Moni!”
Moni tickled him off of her. “Not happening! You’re getting popcorn all over your bedsheets.”
Noel frowned but gave up. An idea popped into Moni’s mind and she grinned.
“Stay here, I have an idea.”
She ran up to her room and grabbed a bunch of paper and pencils. Running back down she placed them on Noel’s bed.
“We could have an art challenge! For fun, we can both draw something and let the other finish it.”
Noel nodded. “That’s actually a fun idea, Mon!”
They both ended up with the silliest works ever and were laughing about them for a decent few minutes.
Moni curled up next to Noel as they watched Mean Girls, Noel’s recommendation, of course.
��You know, big brother, this was actually a very good first sleepover. I’m glad you knew what you were doing.”
Noel shrugged. “Hey, you have to know what you’re doing when your little sister never had a sleepover, so that makes the 16 years of her life pretty pointless.”
“Oh, shut up.”
They continued watching, talking, eating, goofing off, having a pillow fight that Moni surprisingly won, and eventually fell asleep in Noel’s bed, both two tired to properly lay down.
An hour or so later, their mother arrived from work and saw them, matching pajamas and all, and took a quick picture. She would definitely want to keep this memory on hand for years.
5 notes · View notes
hisfluer · 2 years ago
Text
"we're just conjuring up grandma" my mother laughs, stirring up the mixture of egg yolks and pickles to dollop right back into the egg whites. everyone at church kept trying to call them angel eggs but the name never stuck. see, the devil is always in the details —and since i made it, he's right there telling me to pay attention to the subtle pleasures like the right amount of salt to acid to egg ratio. my grandmother is short, conjured up and telling my mother through memories to never serve a dirty plate and never short anyone of food. she grew in a household of money-poor but dirt-rich farmers after the heavy folding of the great depression. it never let her go. on the other end of the counter, my grandma is big — hands on her hips as my brother talks about chicken and dumplin' soup my aunt made for him on the other side of the family. the pot was smacked onto the stove, the ingredients chopped and kneaded and boilt and she plopped that plate right in front of him and told him to eat. be full. it was like he told her he didn't love her. the devil is in the details, see. he never said that — but love was always a spoon of offered bread, safety was inside the hearth, her mother was just like that my mother says. she wore yellow. she never missed her hair appointments. she made shame a sweater for my mother who never learned how to take off. it looked just like her own. it looks just like mine. she drank almost three pots of coffee a day. she made the best chicken and dumplin's. we conjure her in the kitchen, press through the fog to remember her and bring her back. my mom says it's always better when i make it. i tell her that i love her. the ghost standing between us, big and short and yellow, laughs with us. everyone says we all sound the same.
2 notes · View notes
barneyandthepoetrymuse · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
uniformity
Split the egg and scramble the yolk
Get warm by the fire, I’ll breath the smoke
Before I’d even inhaled I’d started to choke
I ran out of steam on the approach…
They thought I’d die and maybe I should have…
What would the inscription have said on my epitaph?
Nearly made it but not close enough…
He wasn’t built to last or of the right stuff…
I almost wasn’t, with a will to survive…
Apparently we only get one chance at life
Maybe that’s why, baby’s know how to cry…
It doesn’t seem fair to be born to die…..
I remember the first day of satchels and shorts
We sat under a desk while they wrote their reports…
Two little boys can’t have their own thoughts
I’m the listener, he’s the one who talks…
Don’t divide us we’ve been there before…
Teach us to be together not torn…..
I sat on my hands when they lead you out the door…
Why would they do that, what was it for…?
I still remember what it felt like that day…
In the assembly hall when they called out your name…
Somebody noticed the look on my face…
We haven’t forgotten you, we’ll find you a place!
He was in line but I’d not been chosen yet…
I was only five but I’ll never forget…
The wasn’t any tears just a coldness in the sweat…
Forget that your twins, learn your alphabet..
It’s better to be apart than leaning on a shoulder…
You can’t copy his work when you get older!
Too little to be marched away like a soldier…
Enough is enough, open up your folder…..
Buckle up, knuckle down, eyes facing front
It’s important that you BOTH learn to be different…
There’s no need to have an equivalent…
It’s time to grow up, the future is imminent…
It wasn’t until quite a few years later…..
My mother revealed what they had told her
He’ll never amount to anything other…
Than a thorn in the side of his twin brother…..
Wankers……
0 notes