#my brother may hate my guts for this but I am so happy he won’t ever understand this pain

[crucifixcavity]

vent in tags

[unrequited-words]

I posted 90 times in 2022

That's 26 more posts than 2021!

18 posts created (20%)

72 posts reblogged (80%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@i-am-bi-not-gonna-lie

@elytrians

@funnytwittertweets

@javarisx-fightingthosedemons

@fatmaninalittlesuit

I tagged 17 of my posts in 2022

#personal - 17 posts

#mine - 17 posts

#s - 17 posts

#my zod - 3 posts

#baby ogaard 😍 - 1 post

#astrid pamela - 1 post

#astridpamelaogaard - 1 post

#this baby truly is a miracle - 1 post

#first time mom - 1 post

#nlo - 1 post

Longest Tag: 28 characters

#this baby truly is a miracle

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I haven’t written here in God knows how long. Nothing much has changed. Still at the same job. I make a little more. I pay for everything. Hes still a stay at home dad and work for him is slow. On his line of work he doesn’t make what he should and the job market is fucking trash. I’ve seen it. He’s still looking for work. I realized when I wrote that post back in March of last year he wasn’t cheating then (dirty texting) it started in February.

His first wife who he was in contact with sent him dirty pictures. I looked at the date and it was when I was asleep at four am. I woke up two and a half hours later and got ready for work. I know it was a Saturday. It doesn’t punch me in the gut like it did when I first found out, but it’s still sad that he has a women next to him (me), a brand new baba, and yet he’s dirty texting his first wife while swapping dick pics.

Maybe it was my temper, or because we had fucked? Who knows, it was 18 months ago and I don’t remember. I don’t know why I’m writing this now.

Our kid is two, and she is growing. That’s beside the point. The point is, why do guys cheat even if they have a woman next to them? Sure it’s just dirty pictures and they aren’t fucking, but they might as well be.

He’s sleeping currently. I made him dinner and it’s on his desk cold. I’m thankful for how he helps and I do love him. I just hope I don’t end up being a single mom doing it on my own.

It’s almost six pm and the baby is watching paw patrol. She really likes it. She hasn’t napped at all today and probably won’t. Hopefully I can go to bed in the next four hours so I can get ready for work tomorrow. He may help his brother paint tomorrow. If he does, I have to figure out how I can work a full eight hours with a two year old. I won’t bring this up to him. I’m just like wow he was doing this while I was working.

He was probably drinking vodka at the time which mind you I paid for. I’ve been paying for everything for the last two years. Since he became a stay at home dad in November of 2020. I can do it on my own if I wanted to.

I worked out earlier because he said he was going to. I know I’m a fucking fat loser with no prospects and that’s probably why he cheated because I mumble under my breath and I’m difficult to live with. I don’t speak to anybody except him and two girlfriends who pretty much don’t speak to me unless they text first.

I’ve given up everything to move here and it’s much better than Vegas but is this what I get? I don’t mean to play the victim and there is his side… I’m working at a job I’m starting to hate, never leaving the house unless it’s for groceries and I basically live at home.

I’m happy I have a kid but not happy I got cheated on even if he doesn’t think so. I’ll probably delete this but when he drinks vodka I’m on edge. Will he pass out? Whose watching the kid? It’s this way when I’m working. It’s very fucking stressful and it’s been this way since he stopped working due to his anxiety. He stopped drinking vodka and started on beer but he said to grab wine for me and a bottle for him. It also helps to clean the heads of his vaping which I use too and I KNEW if I got it he’d drink it. I got it Tuesday and the bottle is almost gone.

It doesn’t matter. I’m in a rut and fucking sad. I don’t talk to anybody about it because I trust nobody. I keep to myself. I post pictures of my kid doing cute shit on SM. Other than that I don’t exist. I’ve been here two years and still haven’t had a vacation. I can’t afford it. With the PTO I do have it’s used for being sick. I currently have 14 hours and we can use unpaid work points which I have but I can’t afford that.

Sorry to ramble. I’m just really sad about this shitshow I’ve created and choose to stay on. Not a shitshow I don’t understand why he dirty texted her and I don’t want to have that conversation with him because I don’t have the emotional energy or time to argue. It’ll come down to why are you going through my phone? I wanted photos of my kid that he took, and yet I stumble across p u s s y pictures that are still backed up on your google photos?

Yet, I’m the c u n t if I bring it up. I know I’m playing the victim I’m just like why would you do this when your second wife fucked other dudes and you found out just like I found out. Sure you have kids with her but I’m in the same boat. Just like you I got cheated on except you didn’t fuck the bitch who you sent dick pics to. What’s ironic is the time stamp when I found out her sent his dick pics to her. It was right before I got on my last break.

How is that okay? How are you okay sending dick pics and have your gf who has your kid walk out of her work area and will ask how are you? Do you need anything?

I’m such a fun c k i n g cuck 😒

To be continued

3 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

#4

Fuck, I’m tired. Slept like shit again. Baby woke up one time at six. Finally around 6:40 when my alarm went off. I checked up on her, made coffee and went to work. She’s napping and I’m betting you money she will be up in the next 90 minutes and I don’t get a nap in. Her dad is napping. 87 minutes to go.

Fuck I’m tired ��

4 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

#3

When did my tiny 31 weeker turn into this giant two year old 🥹

4 notes - Posted December 13, 2022

#2

There is this game that came out in 2019 called days gone. Husband is playing it and it’s a mix of red dead redemption and GTA 5

It does NOT disappoint.

Minus whoever TF are these writers of the main character did a fucking hack job

And yes, I’m still drunk 🤣

4 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I finally fell asleep around two this morning. The baby woke up around nine and I finally got up (my day off) currently soaking some dishes, the laundry is almost washed and I don’t really feel as hung over as I did when I woke up last night.

This cold is on the tail end as my nose won’t stop running. The fevers are still steady at 99° and no matter the Tylenol, vitamins etc it won’t go away.

My boss messaged me on teams and said I am bonusing on this check again, and it’s more than last month by 10.00 which is fantastic.

We are still working on potty training, and she is still scared of the potty. Maybe by seven she will be fully potty trained 🙄

I had some coffee this morning, but I should just stick to water. My stomach needs to heal from all the alcohol and acid it currently has in it

I can’t wait for naptime later. It’s not even 11 😫

5 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hopelesshunny]

the love languages part i: gifts (f.w.)

pairing: fred weasley x fem!reader

summary: fred doesn't like to admit that he gets jealous when it comes to his girlfriend, after a overhearing a conversation where the love of his life is the topic he goes shopping.

warnings: jealously, slight possessiveness, greasy comments from greasy guys, kissing, fred playfully slaps y/n's butt once.

word count: 1.8k

a/n: this is the first instalment of my love language series, i'm hoping to update it over the next four mondays!! i'm starting a taglist for this series and for my future writings in general which you'll find here, i'm so excited to keep writing for this series and i'd love to hear what y'all think of it - my ask is always open and i can't wait to hear your opinions!!

*all photos are from pinterest*

series masterlist // part ii // part iii // part iv

Fred laid back on his bed, his hands clasped behind his head as he watched his girlfriend adjust her uniform in the mirror. Fred had known Y/N for years but she had become a Weasley family staple after she rescued a very stressed Ron in the library who was pouring over a potions essay that Hermoine had refused to help with. It wasn’t until they had convinced Y/N to spend the summer at the Burrow with them this past year that Fred had finally worked up the nerve to express his feelings for her, and now here she was flashing him that sunshine smile in his dorm room, his mirror, making her way over to kiss his lips.

“You’re staring Freddie.” She giggled, as she plopped down in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Can’t help it angel.” He replied, pressing a sweet kiss to her forehead. “You’re just too good to be all mine.”

“Well-” she started “I can assure you that I am, my love.” He chuckled as he placed another kiss to her lips. She closed her eyes, relishing in the feeling of his lips on hers for a little longer than she probably should have. In all honesty, Y/N had been crushing on Fred for years, long before he had even known who she was. She had simply intended on observing him from afar, sneaking in quiet chuckles at the jokes he and George cracked in class, stealing quick glances at him across the Great Hall as he teased his siblings. But when she developed quite the unlikely friendship with his younger brother and they had invited her to their family home, Fred started to see her in a different light. Y/N had been at the Burrow for over a month when Fred finally realized that maybe the reason he always wanted to be close to her and that he laughed the hardest at her jokes wasn’t just because he wanted to be her friend, he wanted to be her boyfriend, he was in love with her.

She was everything he had ever wanted, the perfect girl for him, but her being perfect made her quite the center of attention. Fred would never admit that he was jealous but the stares she attracted as the pair walked down the hallways always got to him. However, she never noticed the way other people looked at her, probably because she was too busy staring at him, too focused on the feeling of his hand in hers.

“Freddie.” She whined, wriggling in his grasp. “I’ve got to get to the library and you’ve got practice.” She giggled as he buried his face in her neck, inhaling her scent.

“The library isn’t going anywhere and they won’t mind if I’m late.” He mumbled which earned a playful scoff from her.

“I have a feeling that your lateness will not be excused.” She replied as he groaned into her skin.

“Fine.” He spoke before placing a playful smack to her butt, signalling for her to move off of him so he could reluctantly get ready for quidditch practice.

“Don’t worry Freddie, I'll find you once you're done.” She cooed, placing a kiss to his lips before making her way out of his room and down the hall, leaving him breathless, once again.

Fred quickly got dressed and started the trek towards the pitch, his head flooded with the thoughts of Y/N, a smile seemed permanently etched on his face. Until he overheard voices from around the corner; there stood two Ravenclaw boys leaning against the wall, and the topic of discussion happened to be his girlfriend. Fred gritted his teeth at the sound of her name coming from such mouths, his jaw becoming tight as he felt his hands ball themselves into fists.

“No, I’m telling you, she knows how to fill a uniform.” One of them groaned as the other laughed in agreement. The thought of someone staring at her, making such comments about his girlfriend made him angry, but the fact that they were looking at her like that, like she was nothing more than a body, infuriated him. She was so much more than that, sure she was gorgeous but she also helped his younger siblings with their homework when they couldn’t figure something out, she baked bread with his mother on Sunday mornings and always reassured him when he felt like the entire world was against him.

“You’re right.” The other remarked. “Don’t know what she sees in Weasley. Merlin, she could do so much better.” He added, running a hand through his hair. Fred couldn’t listen any longer, couldn’t handle the garbage he was hearing.

“And I assume you think you’re better eh?” Fred spoke as he sulked his way out of the shadows, causing the two boys to jump at the sound of his voice. “Quiet now, are we?” He chuckled.

“It’s only the truth Weasley, she’ll leave you at the sight of someone better.” The braver of the two spoke. “You’ll be tossed out soon enough.” Fred could feel the anger bubbling inside of him, but he knew that Y/N would despise the thought of him fighting, especially over her.

“We’ll see about that.” He breathed, feigning a lack of bother, the two boys stared at him, shocked at his response as he simply walked past them.

The week had melted itself into the weekend and the thought of his conversation in the hallway still plagued him, he knew Y/N wasn’t like that, she wouldn’t simply drop him if someone better came along. He knew that she loved him, knew that she barely even noticed those who were interested in her no matter how persistent their efforts in pursuing her were. But he needed something, something to prove that she was his, something that could show that she was proud to be his. After seething over this for the past week, thinking about constantly pulling his jumper over her head or maybe just never letting go of her hand in an attempt to keep greasy eyes off of her, it finally hit him and after a sneaky visit to a jewelry store he had a solution.

“Hey princess.” He spoke, excitement evident in his tone as he took his spot next to Y/N in front of the tree she was leaning against.

“Hi, my love.” She replied, abandoning the book she was reading to lay her head in his lap. He sighed with content, running his fingers through her hair as she gazed up at him, nothing but pure love gracing her features.

“I got you something.” Fred said softly as he ran a thumb across her cheek, she looked up at him, taking the hand that wasn’t occupied on her face into her own, interlacing their fingers.

“Freddie-” She started, but he stopped her, pressing a finger to her lips.

“No, no, no.” He protested. “I know you always say you don’t need gifts but this one means a lot to me.” She stared at him curiously as he continued to speak.

“I overheard these guys talking about you and I tried to not let it get to me but I- I couldn’t.” He spoke, her face softening. “I know you love me and I love you more than anything, I just wanted to get you something that could show everyone that, that could show you that.” He ran his fingers through his crimson hair and let out a shaky breath as she brought his hand to her mouth, gently kissing each knuckle. He was so nervous, he had planned exactly how to go about this in his head, but here in this situation, with her staring up at him with those eyes, all previous thoughts of smooth words and flirting were abandoned. He wanted nothing more than to spill his guts to her, tell her every single reason why he loved her, kiss every inch of her body.

“I always say I don’t get jealous when it comes to you, but I do, I hate it when other people look at you the same way I do.” Her lips quirked into a smile. “You’re the love of my life Y/N, there is absolutely no one out there better for me than you, I’m all in.”

“I couldn't agree more Freddie, all my bets are on you.” Y/N said, rising from her spot in his lap to straddle him. She placed her palms against either side of his face, resting her forehead against his closing her eyes and feeling the heat of his cheeks against her hands. Fred reached into his jacket pocket to reveal a small velvet box, Y/N’s eyes grew wide at the sight. He chuckled, sensing her surprise.

“It’s not an engagement ring angel.” He started, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “At least not yet.” He opened the box, where a simple silver necklace sat, four letters sat in the middle, his name in plain script. Y/N gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as Fred pulled the necklace out of the box and loosened the clasp.

“May I?” He asked, a grin etching itself on his face.

“Of course.” She whispered as he placed the chain around her neck.

“There.” He spoke, leaning back to admire her, she looked so pretty with his name lying against her skin. “What do you think?” He asked, his voice quiet as he searched her face for some sort of indication into how she felt about the gift. She stayed quiet for a moment, simply staring down at the necklace, she ran a finger across the letters as Fred bit his lip, nervous at her sudden silence.

“I love it Freddie.” She whispered, pulling his face to hers capturing his lips with her own before kissing his forehead, both his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids, his lips again and again. He broke into a full fledged laugh until he noticed the tears in Y/N’s eyes.

“Oh no princess, don’t cry.” He chuckled, wiping away stray tears.

“They’re happy tears Freddie.” She giggled. “Just love you so much.”

“I bet I love you more though.” He retorted, resting his hands on her waist as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. “I’ll have to buy you more gifts if you keep kissing me like that.”

Y/N sighed in response, her fingers twirled in the hair at the nape of his neck. They both knew that Fred could never buy her another gift for as long as they both lived and she would still love him as much as she did in this very moment. There was so much uncertainty in the future but right now, with his name around her neck and his arms wrapped so tightly around her waist she knew that no matter what happened in the next month, the next year and for the rest of her life, her love would be completely and utterly Fred Weasleys.

taglist (join here!!)

@onlyfreds

[quillify-tries-to-talk]

Defense and Love

(A rewrite of that scene in Chain of Gold where Cordelia does not defend her brother when James calls him unworthy of his sister's love. Because I was angry. Because CC knows zero things about sibling interaction.)

Lemme know if you like it!

“I know you hate me for how I treated you in school, and rightfully so,” Alastair said. It was a wonder his voice was not shaking. “But however much you hate me, do not take it out on my sister.”

Please, the word hung from the very tip of his tongue, unspoken and desperate. His heart was galloping inside his chest with an almost painful intensity, even more so under Cordelia's watchful gaze. He couldn't break now. Not in front of her. She would ask, and how was he going to explain why he'd distorted into something he didn't recognize himself?

“Alastair," said Herondale in that low, cruel voice that took him back to the Academy, his own past coming back to haunt him, "you made my life a living hell at the Academy. But I’d never take it out on Cordelia. That’s something you would do, not something I would do.”

So he thought Alastair would hit his own sister. Good God. You don't know anything, rich boy, he wanted to snap. You have no idea what you're talking about. 

Perhaps it was his own fault. He’d hurt so many people in his quest to guard his family. His life had turned into one horrific, monotonous nightmare. Protect them. Protect Layla. Let her be happy. Let my mother be happy. Let Father never come back.

The rational part of his brain had taken over the reins. He stood up straighter, schooled his expression into blank, icy indifference, the mask he’d perfected at school. Let Herondale think what he wanted. Alastair had a job to do and he wasn't about to let patronizing sermons get in his way.

“I see how it is. In school I had the power, and here you have the power to lord it over me. What’s your game? What do you want with my sister?”

“Your sister,” James said, speaking with a slow, deliberate coldness. “Your sister is the only thing keeping me from punching you in the face. Your sister loves you, Angel knows why, and you aren’t even the least bit grateful.”

The words were more powerful than any Shadowhunter weapon. They ravaged the remains of his heart over and over again.

He was ten and watching his father trip on the floor of his bedroom as he collected the brandy bottles littered around. Elias had been too drunk to tell who’d been into his room.

He was twelve again and practicing the iratze. It will help Baba, he'd thought then, childish hope still guiding him through the dark descending over the horizon of their lives.

“You have no idea what I’ve done for my sister." His voice came out rough and shaking. Horror of all horrors, Cordelia was still looking at him as though seeing him in a new light. Did she agree with James? She could. She was thriving here. "You have no idea about our family. You don’t know the first thing—”

He was fifteen again and refusing to train with Layla for the hundredth time because his body ached like one giant bruise. It was Pounceby. His jaw and neck tingled with the sting of the phantom bruise. He was watching the hope in his sister's eyes die. I am sorry, he'd wanted to say then. I truly am. But I can't let you see this. Live, Layla.

Something knocked against his shoulder. Hard. Only his training, both physical and mental, kept him from stumbling back in surprise.

It was Cordelia. She’d come to stand in front of him, the way Alastair had done when they were kids whenever their father had been home. Like a shield, he realized in disbelief. He wanted to push her out of the way, but her outstretched arm only resulted in him shifting to the side so he could catch her expression.

Anger.   

He'd seen his sister annoyed. He'd seen his sister frustrated. He'd seen her distressed. He'd seen her scheme and calculate, always finding a way out of anything with her brilliant mind and ambition.

But never before had he seen her like this: dark eyes aflame, hands curled into fists, shoulders bunching up as though she was preparing to land a blow.

Oh. Oh no, no, no, no. A number of curses flashed through his head in all the languages he knew. Farsi. French. English. Urdu. 

He looked down at her, and his expression visibly softened. Alastair tried not to narrow his eyes. 

"James," Cordelia was saying. Her voice sounded normal. "You'd better go."

“Are you sure?” he said in a low voice. “I won’t leave you alone, Cordelia, not unless you wish me to.”

She seemed to rise taller, and in that moment Alastair was reminded why Cortana had chosen her. His sister looked the way their mother was, fire and embers and a gaze so piercing that the other person was left stuttering, though they'd originally come to scrutinize every inch of her. The colour of her eyes, her skin, why she covered her hair with a roosari.

He wished he had their courage. He wished he hadn't withdrawn into the shadows.

Thorns in your way, Esfandiyār, whispered Baba's voice inside his head. Why look back when you can look ahead?

But that would've entailed far worse consequences than a sermon.

Ahead? His thirteen-year-old, iratze-fumbling himself had wanted to snap as he'd stared at the glass sticking out of his foot, blood dripping on the floor. Ahead at your next bottle, Father? 

Cordelia's voice rang out in the hall, sharper than the crack of a whip. "I will say this once and only once, James Herondale. So listen carefully." She took another step closer and Herondale's eyes actually widened. In surprise? Or in whatever the hell had happened between them before coming home? Alastair thought dryly. 

"Do not for one moment think that you are my saviour," Cordelia said through her teeth. The words sent a jolt of surprise through him. "I am thankful for all your help, believe me, but my love for my brother has absolutely nothing to do with this."

A faint smile curled on the edges of Herondale's lips. "You still don't know what he did?"

Cordelia raised her brows, and oh there it was. The sibling resemblance. Clear as day in the anger cloaked behind disdain and a smile. "Why does my love for my family have to come between your feud?" she demanded. "Do I require your blessing to love them? You have notions about my brother that I would have expected from the Pouncebys."

He looked like she’d slapped him awake. "Daisy,  I—"

She took a step back, and the anxiety on his face heightened. Cordelia herself was trembling.

And Alastair? He still couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't move, save to draw breath. The scene unfolding before him seemed like a fever dream. Cordelia didn’t know how he’d tormented Herondale and Fairchild at the Academy. She had no idea of the bomb going off when he’d been mere inches from the building. She didn’t know why everyone hated him so much. He knew, and perhaps he was a greedy monster for making his sister choose between her love and her family.  

She raised a silencing hand when Herondale opened his mouth. "You assume that you know my brother better than I do. You assume that I am still Daisy—the girl with pretty ribbons in her hair, who needs your help to distinguish right from wrong. I will find out what happened at the Academy, but I will not stand idle while you say Alastair doesn’t deserve my love. You don’t get to choose who does or does not deserve me." She smiled, eyes glittering with the storms of the night. "You hurt my family, Mr. Herondale, and you will face my blade.”

Silence descended. Herondale’s eyes narrowed slightly as he glanced between Alastair and Cordelia. A flicker of longing passed across his face as he saw Layla, there and gone. Alastair was gifted with a long, hard, assessing look. 

“You may take your leave now," Cordelia said coldly.

James's expression shuttered. Was Alastair the only one who noticed his sister's wince? Guilt twisted in his gut.

"Very well, Miss Carstairs," Herondale said in a low monotone. "As you wish."

As soon as he was out of sight, Cordelia seemed to shrink, deflate. 

Alastair snapped back to his senses. There were a number of things demanding his attention but he crossed the room to catch his sister by the elbow, older brother once more. His head was still reeling with the impossible absurdity of what had transpired. 

"Layla?" He tested out the name hesitantly. "What? I mean, you shouldn't have—"

"He said you don't deserve my love." She turned to face him, and to his horror, her dark eyes gleamed with tears. Tears on my behalf, he thought dizzily. 

What was this day?

In all the eighteen years of his life, he’d been used to working from the sidelines, slow and quiet. People did not need to see his tears, his frustration at himself. Only the anger and the sneering indifference he put up to keep them away. It had always been that way, ever since he had held Cordelia in his arms as a confused two-year-old. 

She is so small, mâmân!

I know, joon. Will you promise to help her?

“Why, Layla?” he snapped, and she flinched. He wanted to hit himself all over again. “Why did you do that? Herondale is not wrong. I have hurt people. I have done horrible, despicable things. You’re going to lose out on potential allies because of me, do you realize that? How will you save Father then? I thought--” He broke off, not wanting to say the dreaded word.

She lifted her chin and glared. “You thought what, dâdâsh?”

It was jarring to have heard her defend him, even more jarring than hearing the language of his home, the language he’d spent years shoving down because it tended to attract the wrong sort of attention. It was jarring that she’d even noticed his trembling hands or the tears that were clawing at his throat, begging to be let out. It had been years since he’d truly cried but London seemed hell bent on breaking him. He'd never really thought how much he'd needed Cordelia by his side. How many years had passed with just pushing and pushing and pushing people away until time sped by and they simply grew out of their love for you.

His sister was no longer a baby. She was nearly as tall as him, looking him in the eye, silent and waiting. 

"I thought you-you... loved him."

She closed her eyes. "I do. I think so. It doesn't mean I stand by idly while he goes on insulting my brother. It certainly does not mean that I hold back on my own feelings." Her eyes opened. A wry smile played on her lips. “You keep forgetting that only I am allowed to insult you, Alastair.”

Hoarse laughter escaped him, and Cordelia looked delighted to have been the cause. 

Taglist: @youngreckless @eugeniaslongsword (look, your annoyance inspired me lol), @cant-think-of-anything @reesecarstairs @cherilyn-rose @carstairs-hopelessly

[diofasolia]

{Always}

{Shattered! Dream x Reader}

Shattered! Dream by @shattereddreamsau

Writings by me

Today (8/7) is Shattered! Dream's birthday and I decided to post a writing I did last year—which is also the reason why I eventually join in the tumblr

Because back when I wrote this story, I found Dark Cream comic, which made by amazing @zu-is-here

Her creations give me the inspiration for the writing

The story is long (it has like 2000 words in it) and may be a bit cheesy, but I'll be happy to know if you read the whole thing (◡ ω ◡)

******

Before the story start, I want to ask you a question.

   Do you believe that the worst person can change?

   Oh! How awkward, sorry, I ask the wrong question.

   What I meant to ask is—

   Do you believe that the best person, the kindest person in the world can change?

   Maybe…all it needs is a tiny push?

   The harsh whipping hits in my abdomen again. I kneel on the ground, thinking how deep the scar might be from that blow.

   "What're you doing!? Look at your king when I'm talking to you! Such a piece of useless trash!!"

   "I apologized, My Lord."

   Raising my bruised neck, I gaze at the former guardian of positivity. Those eyes that used to hold the tenderness, now only fill up with hatred.

   "Where're those fricking basters!? I told you to track down my brother and other Sanses!"

   "I'm sorry, My Lord. They escaped. I can't find where their location is–"

   Not even waiting for my sentence finished, another powerful punch land on my face. I watch as a tooth fall out of my mouth. Blood dripping down my chin.

   "Worthless! Can't even do a little task like that!"

   Multiple kicks and insults throw at me. The numb feeling slowly occurs in my torso as I curling up into a ball.

   Closing my eyes, the memories from the past arises in my mind, bringing me back to the day that I seal my fate.

   "Dream? Earth to Dream!"

   "(Y/N)? What's wrong, love?"

   "What's wrong? I've called your name for five times! But you didn't answer to me."

   Dream scratches the back of his skull, looking a bit embarrassed.

   "Is that so? I'm sorry, (Y/N)! It won't happen again, I swear!"

   I cuddle Dream close, letting out a giggle.

   "It's fine! I don't really mind it. But Dream, you tend to space out recently. Is there something on your mind? You can tell me everything, you know that, right?"

   Giving me a kiss on the cheek, Dream smiles gently. He assures me that there's nothing to worry about. It’s just the task of guardian makes him a little exhausted.

   "Well, if that's the case, go on and get some rest! I will inform you if something was up."

   "Okay! Thanks, (Y/N), I'm glad I have you by my side."

   "Me too, my dreams and hopes."

   It's been quiet in Dream's room. He must be very tired. I knock on his bedroom door, telling him to wake up.

   "Dream, I know you're tired. But you still need to eat."

   "Dream? Are you awake yet?"

   There's no answer.

   Guess I’ll have to get into his room.

   Yet no one is there, only an opening portal hanging in the air.

   A portal leads to Dream's corrupted universe.

   "I'll show you, brother. I know what you're feeling…I know what you're going through…"

   "No! Dream, stop!! You don't know what you're doing!!"

    Two vague voices shouting in the distance. I begin to run like my life is in danger.

    What the heck is going on here?

    What is this dreadful feeling?!

  ��I'm too slow.

    The half bitten black apple lay on the ground. I watch in horror as the small tendrils creeping out Dream's eye sockets. His painful screech rings in my ears.

   "Dream!!!"

    I reach out to him, hoping that I can comfort Dream in my arms. The positive energy…they gotta do something, right?

   "What…? Nightmare! Let go of me!! I need to…to get Dream!!"

   "No! You can't get near him now, (Y/N)! You'll…you'll get hurt!"

    I thrash in Nightmare's hold, screaming at the top of my lungs.

   "Dream!! No! Dream!!!"

   "What's wrong, love?"

   My teary eyes stare up, it's…Dream's voice.

   But it sends an unknown coldness down my spine.

   "Ahh, you're crying! Good, keep doing that."

   A sadistic grin spreads on Dream's face.

   "I love it."

   Nightmare is already sobbing, begging for his beloved brother to come back. I walk step by step to Dream, putting on the best smile I can muster.

   "My love…Dream…please, come back to me…! I love you. I know you're strong enough to resist those negative feelings…"

   Dream cackles loudly. The tentacles wrap tightly around my neck, pulling me closer to him.

   "Go back? To my weak self? (Y/N), when did you become stupid? Why would I do that?"

   "I've already past the point of no return."

   A bucket of freezing water splashes on me. I must have passed out during the abusing session.

   "Wake up."

   "Get clean up, we're leaving."

   I pick up my sore body, stumbling across the lonely hall that me and Dream live in. There's no one here except the two of us.

   "Make a choice, (Y/N). Will you join me? Or will you prefer to disobey me like my coward brother?"

   "I'll go with you."

   I want to weep, yet I can’t even shed a single tear. I shouldn't be upset. After all, it's me who decided to follow my corrupted lover.

   Filling up the bathtub, I submerge myself in the steamy water.

   "Why, (Y/N)!? Why are you side with him!? Open your eyes! Dream doesn't love you anymore. He's just using you!"

    "It doesn't matter, Nightmare."

   "Great job, (Y/N)! You make this AU full of despair and miseries! I always know you're my favorite soldier!"

   "It's my pleasure to serve you, my lord."

   I scrub my blood-stained skin, the wounds sting because of the soapy water. Some of the old gash reopened, making me yell in frustration.

   "We can save Dream! Don't lose any hope, (Y/N)!"

   "How? There are barely things we can do. It's over, Nightmare. Look at yourself! You transfer back because Dream shattered! How are you gonna turn him back? By let someone else eats a black apple again?!"

   The white dirty bandages wrap around my mess up torso. Why am I even bother treating my injures? They sure are going to reopen soon anyway.

   "No matter what you say to me, I won't change the path I've chosen, Nightmare."

   "I've already gone far enough."

   "I don't understand…he's hurting you, (Y/N). Are you still…in love with my brother?"

   I hate it so much.

   The smell won't disappear no matter how many times I wash it over and over.

   I hate it.

   My hair smells like those disgusting goop on Dream.

   Why can't I get rid of this sickening stink!?!

   Throwing the bottles at random direction, I tug my hair till I scream out.

   "What's with all that noises in there!? You better finish your business soon, I'm losing my patience!"

   I hate it.

   "I deeply apologize for making you wait for such a long time, my lord."

   I wish I can understand your pain sooner.

   "Whatever, time to leave."

   I'm sorry I couldn't save you.

   "My lord, where are we going, may I ask?"

   Dream's left eye glows in excitement.

   "I find out where those sneaky scums are hiding."

   With a wave of hand, Dream opens the portal leads to an unknown empty place.

   No one is left out.

   Nightmare, Ink, Blue, everyone's here.

   "And I'm going to give them a pleasant encounter."

   But today is a little different.

   Then all hell breaks out.

   Nightmare's starting to transform. The dark gooey substance covering up his body gradually.

   The same routine as usual. Nightmare pleads Dream to stop his actions while the former guardian of positivity just laugh it off, a bit talks here and there.

   "Miss me, dear brother?"

    The crazy laughter of Dream rings in the air.

   "Yes! Finally, things are getting interesting!"

   While Dream focusing on battling with Nightmare, I have to handle the two other skeletons.

   "I know deep down you don't want to fight us, (Y/N)! Let's just drop our weapons, okay?"

   Ink creates a bunch of arrows, ready to launch them at Dream. I block his charge immediately, slashing Ink's arm with my sword.

   My silence is always my only answer.

   "No one's going to get near Dream."

   I continue to attack Blue. We've already been through this conversation many times.

   "How…how's this possible?!"

   Dream can only defense himself from Nightmare as the latter one keeps on firing attacks. It looks like Nightmare gets more advantage of the battle.

   "Seems like you can't control your tentacles very well yet, little bro."

    Nightmare mocks, resulting Dream to lose his temper. He strikes at Nightmare blindly, only to receive a powerful blow in the guts.

   "Dream!!"

   I rush to Dream, who’s looking more exhausted than usual. From the way how he’s panting heavily, I know he's already losing too much strength to fight.

   "Get away from me! I don't need your help!!"

   The attack is sloppy but I didn't dodge it. Dream can beat me all he wants after I get him to safety.

   Even if it means I can possibly die.

   "My lord, I apologize, but we have to move to another universe again."

   Dream growls at me.

   "It's you who are dragging me down!!"

   They're still following us.

   I'm whacking to the ground in a flash. A heavy boot stamps on my ribs harshly.

   The nasty cracking sound and my piercing shirek fills in the air.

   "You're no longer useful to me."

    I watch as Dream disappears in a portal. He doesn't even spare a glance at me. Leaving me bleeding and slowly dying on the ground.

   "I've told you."

    Nightmare's lurking shadow towers above me.

   "Oh no, Ink! We must save (Y/N)! She's…!"

     Ink put a hand on Blue's shoulder, shaking his head solemnly.

   "We can't, Blue. Remember, our priority is to capture Dream."

   "Please, Night…"

     I find myself pleading to Nightmare.

   "Don't…kill Dream…"

   "You and I both know that's an empty promise, (Y/N)."

   Three skeletons begins to move towards the portal that opens by Ink. Before they leave, Nightmare whispers in a quiet voice but loud enough for me to catch.

   "…he's in Dreamtale."

   How much will you sacrifice for protecting your fallen love?

   "You really are dumb. You know that?"

   "Or you're just enjoy me breaking you apart bit by bit?"

   "Don't you scare of your own nightmares?"

   "I deserve it."

   "I'm already living with it."

   "You will always be my fading dreams."

   "It's my own redemption."

   "Surrender now, Dream. Then we can put an end to this whole mess."

   My time is running out.

    "Heh, I thought you know me well, dear brother. You should get the answer by yourself now."

   "…goodbye, my poor little brother.

   I pray to you, God. Let me see him one last time.

   I can't save him the last time.

    It's always a miracle how accurate the portal can lead to.

   "(Y…Y/N)?"

   This time, I'm going to save Dream.

   There's no pain anymore.

   "…at least…you……say my…name……one…last……time…"

   Crimson blood drips down my penetrated torso. I think I see Dream's crying. But that might be just my own tears.

   Forgive me, Dream.

   My collapsing body falls forward, landing on the soft grass surface before me.

(3rd pov)

   "Nightmare, I need your assistance."

   "I thought we're enemies now."

    "There's a method I want to try. It might succeed to bring Dream back."

   "Well, I'm here to listen."

   "She's just a tool."

   "Nothing else."

    "Because I know him well. The extreme emotion is the only possible way to get things right again."

   Dream mutters to himself like a broken recorder. Staring the wrecking body of yours, his non-existent heart begins to hurt.

    "I refuse! That's too dangerous! You surely will be dead in this terrible plan! Besides, how can you so sure he'll behave like you predict!?"

    "It's worth it. I'm doing this for the whole alternate universes, and him."

    "But…you…"

    "Wake up! I demand you to wake up now! (Y/N)!!"

    "It's not…worth for your own life."

    "Don't pity me. Pity for the one who can't help himself in his own nightmare."

    "Wake up."

   "Don't leave me…alone, (Y/N)…please…my love…"

   Ahh, it must be the time when he transfers into this horrible creature.

   Nightmare, who’s now in his uncorrupted form, widening his eyes.

   "…congratulations, (Y/N). Your suicidal plan…works."

   Dream doesn't recall when’s the last time he breaks down.

    No one dare to speak a word, except Dream drowning in his own pitiful cries.

     "Always."

     "I don't understand…he's hurting you, (Y/N). Are you still…in love with my brother?"

   You look at Nightmare with a smile, replying to him like it's the only correct answer in your mind.

[idreamofplaid]

Stronger

Square Filled: Sung to Sleep for @spnfluffbingo & Hurt/Comfort for @girl-next-door-writes Make Me Feel Bingo

Characters: Moc!Dean x Reader; Sam and Cas mentioned

Rating: Teen

Summary: Dean thinks there’s only one thing he can do to protect the woman he loves from the Mark of Cain, but Dean doesn’t know everything.

Word Count: 2949

I felt it as soon as I held that thing in my hand. Rage. Raw and burning, demanding to be released. It was fueled by everything I buried so deep down inside me, and I somehow thought all that regret, disappointment, and frustration would never see the light of day. I could keep it buried out of sheer willpower, or it could magically go away if I wished for it hard enough.

That’s not the kind of magic that’s in the world. That’s not the magic I know. The magic I know curses, manipulates, and hurts people. It twists things up into something they shouldn’t be, and it’s all the things that shouldn’t be that make me so mad. They create the anger that’s in me for the mark to draw upon, all those things that never should have happened. All those things that still sit so heavy on me and Sam. 

Mom shouldn’t have died when I was four years old. Dad shouldn’t have tried to drown his grief in a bottle. He shouldn’t have left Sam and me alone like he did. I shouldn’t have watched my brother fall into a hole to hell and try to live a normal life while I knew he was in a cage with Lucifer being tortured. I shouldn’t have had such a good idea of what was happening to him in that cage because I’d been to hell myself.

Everything that’s pent up inside me gave The First Blade its power when I held it, the same way the mark gets its power from me. Those two things combined forces when the blade was in my hand, and I could feel the energy surging through me. It isn’t something I’m going to be able to control, not with silver bullets, rock salt, or a devil’s trap. Nothing I know about fighting is going to help with this thing. 

The day is going to come when this mark is going to take over my mind and everything I do. You can’t be here when that happens. I have to protect you, and that means getting you far away from me. 

I finish off my third glass of whiskey. It still isn’t enough. There isn’t enough whiskey in this bunker, or all of Kansas, to numb me so much that when I do what I have to do it’s not going to hurt worse than anything I’ve experienced in what has, more or less, been a lifetime of pain with brief moments of happiness.

Most of those moments have been with you. Anything I know of true happiness is because you showed it to me. You didn’t grow up the way I did. I’m thankful for that every day. You don’t know what it’s like to sleep with a gun under your pillow, but you’ve slept next to me plenty of times when there was a gun under mine.

That’s bad enough, but I will not let you suffer what this mark is going to do to me. You deserve better than that. You always deserved more than me, but this is where I draw the line. 

I think about pouring myself some more whiskey, but there’s no point. There isn’t anything in that bottle that’s going to give me the courage I need to do what’s right for you. The only thing that can make me strong enough is how much I love you. 

I’ve never even told you. Those aren’t words I know how to say, and it’s better now that I didn’t. That would only make this harder, and I don’t want to hurt you any more than I have to. I never wanted to hurt you. I would go to hell again in an instant if it meant sparing you pain. I guess I am; it’s just this time my hell is going to be on earth, and the thing that will torture me the most is being without you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You have to go.” You’re standing in our room with a look of disbelief on your face like you can’t comprehend what I just said, so I try again. “It’s time for this, whatever we’ve had, to be over.” Still you say nothing, just look at me with those beautiful eyes of yours that could make me lose my nerve and not go through with this, so I turn my head away. I can’t look in your eyes.

I’ve got to get through to you. You can’t be near me. I will not let this anger that’s going to consume me consume you too. This situation calls for something else. I still can’t look at you. I cannot look at you when I do this, or I’ll break.

I grab my duffle from the corner where I left it after the last hunt and throw it on the bed, then I open the drawer in the chest where you keep your clothes and start emptying it. I’m stuffing them into the duffle, trying hard not to really notice them because then I’ll remember. 

I’ll think about the last time you wore that shirt, or how this is the one you always wear when we curl up on the bed to watch movies together and end up wrapped around each other, making out and forgetting all about the movie. 

I’m managing to keep it together until I find one of my shirts in that drawer. It’s my black t-shirt you like to sleep in. I can picture the way it looks on you, the way it falls on your thighs and how good your legs look when you wear it; and then I remember the way it feels when your legs are wrapped around me. I take a deep breath.

I have to stop packing the duffle. I can’t touch your clothes anymore, and you see your opening. “Dean, what are you doing?”

I push the image of you in that shirt with your head on my chest out of my mind because it feels like a fist squeezing the life out of my heart. I zip the duffle closed. Whatever is in there will have to do. I pick it up and throw it on the floor. I never faced any monster that tested my courage the way this is. “I told you. We’re done, and you need to leave.”

“Dean, stop it and look at me.” You reach out and put your hand on my arm. It looks so small, and I want to feel it in mine so bad. It’s the hand I thought about holding for the rest of my life, however long that may be. 

I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing again before I turn around to look at you. When I do, I feel my knees go weak. Stay focused. Do what you have to do for her. “Don’t make this harder or more complicated than it has to be, Y/N.”

I’m waiting for you to say something. Anything. But I’m not expecting what you do say. “Dean, you’re full of crap.” Now, it’s my turn to look confused. I have no response for that, but you have plenty more to say.

You let go of my arm, stand back, and cross your arms over your chest. “You think you’re doing something noble, and you’ve done plenty of noble things in your life, but this isn’t one of them. There’s no way you’d be saying any of this if that mark wasn’t on your arm. I’ve seen the way you look at me, Dean. I’m not blind, and I’m not stupid. You looked at me that way last night, and I know what it means even if you won’t say it.”

I fumble for something to say, and the best I’ve got is “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Your arms fall to your sides. “Like hell you don’t, Dean. You try to stay hidden behind that wall you’ve made around yourself, but before you got the mark; I broke through it. You let me in, and it’s not going to be so easy to push me back out.”

You walk over to the bed and sit down. My eyes follow you; I’m watching every move you make. You’re staring at me, and just as much as I couldn’t look at you before; I can’t help but look at you now.  Your voice sounds steady and determined. You aren’t finished with me. You’ve decided I’m going to hear everything you have to say. 

“I could leave the bunker, but it wouldn’t mean I’d leave you. I’d still be in touch with Sam all the time, asking him about you, keeping tabs on you, doing everything I could to save you. I’ll never stop trying to save you no matter how many times you tell me to go because I don’t believe any of it, and because I love you. You can’t stop me from loving you, and I won’t. I can’t now even if I tried.” You wrapped your arms around your middle and hugged yourself. It was nothing like when you’d taken your defiant stance with your arms folded over your chest.

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut, and all the air had been knocked out of me. All I wanted to do was sit down beside you, take you in my arms, and give you all the comfort you were trying to give yourself. It was true. You wouldn’t give up. That’s who you are. Stubborn. Willful. And the kindest, most loving woman on this earth.

Fuck no. There are tears in your eyes. Not tears. I can’t handle tears. I can’t just watch you cry and do nothing to stop it. The next thing you say blows my plan to pieces. 

You hug yourself tighter, and a tear slips down your cheek. “I need you, Dean. Our...baby needs you.”

I sit down on the end of the bed because I don’t trust my legs to hold me up anymore, and I’m trying to read your face, trying to will you to look at me. “Our...Wh...What?”

When you do look at me, your eyes are sad. Your eyes shouldn’t be sad. More tears are streaming down your face. I can’t just sit here. I slide down the side of the bed until I’m next to you, and I wipe the tears from your cheeks. You let me. You don’t pull away, and I’m relieved for that. Just forget what I said before. I was an ass. I didn’t know.

“We’re having a baby, Dean. Don’t make me go.” Your tears have turned into sobs, and I take you in my arms, my earlier act forgotten. 

I put my hand in your hair and hold the back of your head while I whisper to you and try to calm you down. You shouldn’t be upset like this.  “Shh, Y/N. It’s okay. It’s okay, sweetheart. Don’t cry. I wouldn’t send you and the baby away. I would never do that.” I’ll leave if I have to. You’ll be safe here in the bunker with Sam. He’ll protect you, and this place is warded against anything that might want to hurt you. Sam is so smart; he’ll find a way to keep me out if he needs to. He knows what I would want.

After a few minutes, you stop crying and lift your head from my shoulder. Your eyes don’t look as sad as before, but they’re still sad; I hate that, hate that I did that to you. “Dean, why would you tell me to go when it isn’t what you want? I know it isn’t.”

I take your face in my hands and try to memorize how beautiful you are, in case the day comes when I can’t see you anymore. In case you and Sam can’t save me, I know you’ll try, but…. “Because I’m scared, Y/N. I’m scared I’ll hurt you, and….” Wait. “The baby. When did it happen? Did I have this thing on my arm? Is the baby….?”

“It was before,” you tell me. “The baby’s okay.” I let go of you and scrub my hand down my face. Then I turn and brace my hands on each side of me on the bed. This is why I shouldn’t have kids. All this fucked up shit that is my life should never come anywhere near a kid. 

“What if it hadn’t been, Y/N? I could have infected our child with this evil that I’m carrying.” I can feel my own eyes filling up with tears. I could have hurt our baby, just because of who I am. I lower my head and cover my face with my hand. I wish I could hide from you. I feel so ashamed.

All that shame is mixed up with something else, a fierce protective love for you and the baby you’re carrying. I don’t even know what’s right for you anymore. I don’t know what to do.. 

I feel your arm go around me, and your voice is still the sweetest sound I could possibly hear. For some reason, you’re still here talking to me even though I’m a danger to you and the baby. “Dean, you won’t hurt me; you won’t hurt either of us. We’ll find a way to get that mark off your arm. We will.”

I want to believe you, but I can feel it burning. That goddamned mark is burning now. This should be one of the sweetest moments of my life. You just told me I’m going to be a father, and I can feel the mark. It won’t let me forget about it, not for an instant. It has intruded on something which should have been between us.

You put your hand over mine that’s still covering my face and move it to rest in your lap. “Dean, do you want to feel the baby?” Your voice is full of hope; I hear it.

Feel the baby. How can you trust me so much? “Can...can I do that? Isn’t it too soon?”

You smile for the first time since I walked into our room. “Well, it’s too soon to feel it move, but you know it’s there.” You lift my hand from your lap and put it on your stomach. My baby is in there. I can’t help it. I smile too. 

Knowing there’s a life inside you that we made makes me feel something I can’t begin to explain. This feels like an even greater responsibility than saving the world from an apocalypse. How do I fulfill that responsibility with this fucking mark on my arm? It’s too much.

I leave my hand where it is on your stomach, lay down, and put my head on your lap. You have something so precious inside you. I move my hand a little so I can kiss the center of your stomach. “Sweet baby, I love you.” Just like that, I said the words I thought I couldn’t say, and everything I’ve tried to keep pushed down inside me came pouring out.

I cried there with my head on your lap, cried because I’ve dragged you both into this mess with me, cried because I need to be a father to my child. I want to be, but what if I’m not here for him? Or her? What if I’m not even here to see the baby born? What if the mark has taken me already?

Cas will take care of it. I told him to kill me if it came to that. Sam can’t do it; he won’t ever do it. A sob rips out of me. I want to see my baby grow up.

I feel your fingers running through my hair. I never wanted you to see me like this. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

“Dean, it’s okay.” You’re still running your fingers through my hair. Your touch is so soft, just like you, soft and good. “You don’t have to do this alone, Dean. You never had to do it alone. We love you.”

“I love you too, Y/N.” I circle my arms around your waist and hold on. I don’t ever want to let you go. 

You take your hand out of my hair and slide it down my back, rubbing back and forth. I don’t know how long it’s been, but I finally stop crying; and your hand stops moving.

“C’mere, Dean.” I can feel you shifting your position, and I sit up so you can move. You lay down on the bed, your head on the pillow, and hold your arms out to me. “C’mon.”

I lay down next to you with my head on your shoulder. You start stroking your fingers through my hair again. “Close your eyes, Dean.”

So close, no matter how far

Forever trusting who we are

And nothing else matters

I want to stay here like this forever with nothing but the feel of our arms around each other and the sound of your gentle voice singing.

Never opened myself this way

Life is ours; we live it our way

Oh, these words I don’t just say

And nothing else matters

You make me feel calm. I believe you when you make me feel like this. I believe it can be okay.

Trust I seek and I find in you....

I dream about you, and in my dreams there is no mark. There’s only us and a little girl with green eyes and a smile like yours. We’re happy.

Everything: @gambitwinchester @princessmisery666 @peridottea91 @logical-princey @emilyshurley @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @fangirlxwritesx67 @waywardbaby @atc74 @shaniquacynthia @mariekoukie6661 @tumbler-tidbits @67-chevy-baby @fandom-princess-forevermore @terrarium-jpeg @emoryhemsworth @crashdevlin @jules-1999 @cosicas-cuquis @sammyimpala-67 @queenoftheunderdark @dean-winchesters-bacon @timelordy-fangirl2 @sweetness47 @hobby27 @awesomesusiebstuff @kickingitwithkirk @becs-bunker @sandlee44 @supernaturalgrandma @volleyballer519 @kdfrqqg @lizette50 @daisymoder72 @sorenmarie87 @lovealways-j @mrswhozeewhatsis @spnbaby-67 @wayward-and-worn @asthesunwentdown @vulgar-library @thinkinghardhardlythinking @petitgateau911

Dean/Jensen: @deansyahtzee @flamencodiva @deanwinchesterswitch @feelmyroarrrr @focusonspn @akshi8278 @ladywinchester1967​ @sgarrett49​ @wingedcatninja​ @coffee-obsessed-writer​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @ellewritesfix05​ @weepingwillowphoenix​

[nightswithkookmin]

Hi Goldy: I just recently started reading your blog and I would like your thoughts on something. I am 100% convinced JiKook is a real relationship-there's just too much evidence to deny it. :-) I love their connection. I wonder about your thoughts on it being even more difficult for the members/company/fans to accept since JK is often portrayed as the heartthrob/can't do anything wrong member of the group? Do you think that makes it harder for everyone to accept that their Golden Maknae is gay?

Heartthrob who can do no wrong???

Chilee, I can hear Jungkook chuckling in his Itaewon home reading this bit right now. Lmho.

I don't know how to feel about Gay and wrong and acceptance being neighbors in a sentence. Sounds like a set up to an unsolicited, unwanted advice about gender and sexuality.

There's nothing wrong with being gay or queer. If people can't accept Jungkook is gay because they think he does no wrong because they interchange gay and wrong in a sentence then those people need to be castrated and mummified alive.

That being said, I think I understand where you are coming from. Jungkook gets away with a lot within the fandom- not so much within the group. Unless of course, you're counting the messing with his hyungs and making them pay for stuff and him acting bratty with certain hyungs.

I mean being Maknae has its perks.

But I think the group holds him to much higher standards especially within Jikook's dynamic, which to me is crazy because Jimin is the hyung in that group.

Yet most times- untill dynamite era last year- they sort of had this weird Jimin is always right schtick going on within the group. And you could see this especially with RM and Suga when it came to the JK vs JM moments. I have a post saved in drafts on this topic and so I won't get much into it.

But yea, a lot has changed since October and you see this shift mostly in RM and JM's dynamics- I recall dropping hints here and there about how I felt Minimoni needed to spend more time together off cams cos I thought it would be good for their dynamic? There's been a lopsided shift in Kookminjoon's dynamic and I think it's quite telling of how they have handled Jikook's relationship even on that personal level.

I think more than anyone in BTS Jk has gone up against stereotypes and people's assumptions of him and he's always stood his grounds.

People take him as he is. They don't have a choice really. He doesn't bend himself to be consumable. If he did he wouldn't be spotting them tattoes and piercings. I think he is the least consumable member in BTS according to Kpop idol standards- in certain aspects. He don't be moving like a typical idol is what I'm saying- he doesn't sway too far away either.

Do I think he gets away with a lot in this fandom? ABSOLUTELY. A lot of idol's careers have ended for far less- the scandals, the body art, the ghetto gayness etc. He really doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks of him. If he wants to get a tat he will. If he wants to fuck his band mate he will. Jeikei does what Jeikei wants.

I think if he came out today to say he likes men, or girls, or three breasted aliens- we will say ok and keep it pushing because he's gradually conditioned us to accept and be ok with who he is over the years.

"If army loves me they will accept me as I am. Rather dead than cool."

I don't think he negotiates negotiates his person with anyone. He may make compromises here and there but if push came to shove I think he would what he wants and what makes him happy and not what others want of him. He pushes the boundaries on the limits of what it means to be an idol in KPop and I think more so than Jimin he is the one best fitted to change the status quo in terms of the LGBTQIA discourse.

Jimin is a different case all together. He is an idol true and true and it makes me sad that he used to care so much what people thought of him and that he always tried to make others happy at his expense. And I can understand him because putting himself first and doing what he wants- especially in recent times, have come with consequences. He is constantly negotiating, straddling the line and trying to keep the balance- which is kind of a libra curse so I can't be mad at that really. But it sucks in the grand scheme of the LGBTQ agenda.

Whatever people think Jikook are, I think they are the exact opposite of it. It's just a matter of them showing it or living up to their truth I think. I love Jungkook- as a gay woman. I love that he is with JM because I feel they can accomplish a lot together if only JM will allow him to push his boundaries a little bit more and not resist it so much.

I think a lot of people can't believe and accept JK is gay because they are homophobic period or they have a very narrow view on life and gender and sexuality or they have just been bamboozled and they get thrown off by the mainstream hyper masculine image JK presents- which I think also stems from their being used to the stereotypes of gayness rather than gayness itself. They couldn't tell a gay man if he licked balls right in front of their salad.

A lot of what people see as gay is nothing but tropes and stereotypes of gayness. And so when they see a gay man who doesn't fall under those stereotypes they struggle to wrap their heads around it. In my opinion.

It's easier, for instance, for people to think masculine presenting women are queer than for them to wrap their heads around someone like beyonce being a lesbian- It's a loose analogy but sis work with me- I'm tired. Lol. And I say this from experience, between my sister and I, people often think she is the gay one. Lmho. Yet she is the least likely to be gay in my family. My little brother is bisexual if not gay chilee. Lol. We are the only queer ones in the family I think. But people clock him more so than I because he's effeminate. I often pass for a het- which sometimes I feel guilty about but this is not about me. Focus Goldy. [Also edit n delete ma'am]

I think it's the same for people's perception of gay men though. It's easier for people to wrap their heads around gay Jimin than gay Jk on that spectrum because Jimin fits a more traditional stereotype of gayness.

Truth is, anyone can be gay regardless of how they look or how they present as. Me when I look at BTS, JK is the most likely to dip his dick in some guts or try that gay shit at least once and next to him JM is the most likely member. Put those two together and I don't need my gay crystal ball to figure they might be screwing.

I gotta admit, I know some people who don't want to believe JK might be queer because they know the struggles that come with that identity. It could be they themselves are homophobic and have perpetrated violence and aggressions towards gay people- the karma of them loving someone who might be gay can do a number on them. Imagine that. Imagine hating on something only to find out your fave is that thing🙃

It's a myriad of things really but homophobia is always at the root of it.

I think people should stop trying to beat down their brains to accept something as fact that hasn't been confirmed. They should start with the baby steps- which member is the most likely to be gay in bangtan?

If the answer is any member besides Jikook I am beating you with a sledgehammer🤣

I hope this answers your question?

Did someone send me a Jesus loves me message recently? Y'all are too kind. I'm too gay he's gone wipe me on the hot floors of hell🤧

Signed,

GOLDY

[antipodeanpineapplelump]

Dear Starshot, I recently saw your latest artwork for #Shisui Uchiha and the Lost Treasure of Asura and I am DYING to learn more about this AU. If you're comfortable sharing, is there anything you can disclose about it?? Is this related to the ItaShi Indiana Jones AU you mentioned before?!!?!?!?!!

Hi Birk, thank you so much for dropping by with this ask! Are you really voluntarily asking me to talk about my current obsession and fanfic baby though? Because I warn you, you may live to regret that!!!

"Shisui Uchiha and the Lost Treasure of Asura" is now the official title of my ItaShi Indiana Jones AU. I realise it’s been over a year since I first mentioned it, and it’s still a WIP! Pretty sure that says absolutely nothing good about the speed of my writing, but a lot about how busy my life outside of fandom is. Anyhow, it’s definitely one of those AUs that’s got away on me. I was planning one story initially, but now it’s kind of turned into three (plus a cracky oneshot), and this is just the first.

I’ve planned nine chapters total so far, but the bane of my life is currently number four. It’s sitting at 16,000 words and counting. Succinct writing? I’ve certainly never heard of it… So anyway, I kind of hit a wall there and decided to take a little break to come back with fresh eyes. That’s how I ended up working on the art instead. But I’d say I’m probably about halfway through the first draft (47,000-ish words).

I recently shared the opening scene and my draft cover artwork here. Ummm… what else can I tell you? Madara is the main bad guy, and he’s definitely a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Shisui is an agent of disaster and chaos. Itachi is really… not. So their initial interactions go about as well as you could expect.

All the main characters have extensive back stories. I’m pretty sure you’re already familiar with my Machiavellian worldbuilding tendencies from reading Red Dawn, so it goes without saying I have just as many notes and plans, and as much fleshed out worldbuilding for this story too. And it will take a long time for all of that to be revealed! But the overarching theme is probably found family, which is different to anything I’ve done before.

At this risk of revealing too much, or boring you to tears, I’ll finish with another sneak peek, this time from Itachi’s POV:

When Itachi wakes, there’s nothing to suggest his day is going to be anything but routine.

He gets up at dawn as per usual, eating breakfast at the dining table alone, legs tucked beneath him on a comfortable zabuton. The solitude at this hour of day is something he prefers. It’s the only time the family home is quiet anymore—lacking the cold disapproval of his father’s increasingly judgemental lectures, the anger of his younger brother’s rebellion, or the resigned acquiescence of his mother.

By now, Fugaku should have left for work, and it’s still too early for Sasuke to be awake, given how late he’s been staying out at night. Either to irritate their father, or just avoid him entirely, he’s taken to frequenting the clubs and bars in Osaka. Mostly, he comes home. Some nights, he doesn’t.

More often than not, even when he is home his door is closed, the thumping bass line of some song or another seeping out from beneath it. Likely because he knows this angers their father even more than the leather jackets and spiked punk-rock hair style he now sports.

Part of Itachi has been glad to discover his brother possesses more of a spine than he ever has. But at the same time, Sasuke’s rejection of every last one of their father’s rules has only brought more unwanted scrutiny to Itachi’s far more minor transgressions. It’s as though, having decided his younger child is a lost cause, Fugaku now wants to be absolutely certain his eldest son and heir to the Uchiha family fortune is beyond reproach. To smother him with expectations until he emerges, a diamond from beneath the pressure.

But unbeknownst to Fugaku, Itachi has one flaw he can’t change. And it means that, no matter what, he’ll always be a failure in his father’s eyes.

Sighing, he swallows a mouthful of rice and fish, washing it down with the sweetened barley tea he favours. Pulling this month’s edition of Modern Archaeology across the table, he inspects its glossy cover and promptly chokes on his drink.

The face that smiles up from the page stokes a knot of hot irritation in his gut. Furiously, he skips to the article, skim-reading the text, despite the fact he knows it will only annoy him further.

"An up-and-coming star in the field of archaeology, particularly specialising in South-American cultures, Shisui Uchiha is an increasingly well-known fixture of the San Diego research scene. Curiously for someone so entrenched in the study of history, he is famously reticent when it comes to his own. ‘I did spend my early years in Japan,’ he confirms when pressed. ‘But I haven’t been back in a long time. The United States is my home now.’ Asked about his connection to the famous Uchiha family, he merely winks enigmatically. ‘Never heard of them,’ he says, before asking if we’d like a one-on-one tour of the dig site.

Equally at home in dusty ruins as surfing the palm-lined SoCal beaches, or scaling the cliffs of his native Joshua Tree National Park, he nonetheless shines in group settings too. At the party we attend that evening, to celebrate the opening of a new Aztec exhibit at the Museo Nacional de Antropología in Mexico City, he easily charms the crowd, finishing the night with at least half a dozen new admirers. It’s not hard to see why they like him. A conversation with Shisui is exercise in passion and obscure historical knowledge. Even so, much like the dig sites he frequents, it’s hard to say just how much of what he presents to the world runs more than surface-deep.

His motto in life? ‘Fall seven times, stand up eight,’ Shisui says with a charismatic smile. Where did he learn it? Chuckling, he brushes us off. ‘The school of hard knocks.’

Love him or hate him, one thing is certain—we haven’t seen the last of Shisui Uchiha’s brand of archaeology.”

Hate him, Itachi thinks, sipping his tea viciously enough to scald his tongue and immediately regretting it. Definitely hate. Hate how he’s reckless, impulsive, irresponsible, and doesn’t seem to take a single thing seriously. Hate that it looks like he’s never had to work hard for anything a day in his life—people only too happy to hand him whatever he wants on a silver platter, charmed by a pretty smile. Hate the fact that, despite their shared family name, he’s free to do whatever he likes. Hate the way people flock to him, falling into his orbit—and by all accounts, bed—like it’s somehow inevitable. And hate, most of all, that there’s a small part of Itachi which understands why.

Because hate or love him—and it’s definitely hate—there’s no denying that Shisui Uchiha is, objectively, a very attractive man.

Coming back to his senses and realising he’s been leaning over the magazine, frowning so hard his forehead hurts, Itachi straightens, closing his eyes and massaging the knot of tension out from between his eyebrows.

“Itachi—”

The tension sinks in even deeper. He opens his eyes. “Father.”

Fugaku takes in magazine, then his son, and Itachi really hopes his cheeks aren’t as flushed as they feel. It’s stupid, but merely knowing he feels the way he does about the man on the page makes him fear being caught. As though his father might somehow divine his deepest darkest secret, just by looking. Truthfully, Itachi sometimes wonders if he might not already know, or at least suspect. But if he does, it’s clearly a truth he’s chosen not to acknowledge.

“I take it you’re prepared for our meeting this evening?” Fugaku asks, grim as ever.

Attempting a composed sip of his tea, Itachi nods. “Yes. Of course.”

Mouth a hard, unyielding line, Fugaku makes some indiscernible noise of disapproval, sweeping an appraising glance over Itachi. “Well, I suppose it’s too much to hope that anything can be done about your hair between then and now. But they’re a modern family. New money. Perhaps it won’t matter so much.”

Fingers tightening into the flesh of his thigh, Itachi has to remind himself to breathe. “I will do my best to make a good impression,” he says, inclining his head towards his father, penitence for his innumerable shortcomings—not least of all the choice to grow his hair out. It’s a small act of rebellion compared to Sasuke’s effort, but one his father seems determined to curtail as promptly as possible.

Poker face easing ever so slightly, Fugaku’s brows trend downwards, though their slant is still severe. “I know. You are my son, after all. And it is high time you were married with a family of your own. Perhaps then you will see the value in giving up these frivolous academic pursuits, and taking your rightful place at the head of the family business.”

He might as well build a box and stuff Itachi into it. Mold him to fit his own vision of the future. But Itachi has long since learnt that what he wishes he could have from life, and what he can have, are two very different things. So, just like his infrequent clandestine trips to the less desirable areas of Osaka’s nightlife, this too, he realises he will have to sacrifice. Duty before self.

“Yes Father, I’m certain you’re right,” he says, bowing once more as Fugaku leaves for work, closing the front door behind him with a click that reeks of finality.

As his footsteps crunch away on the gravel path outside, Itachi can’t help clenching his fists, until long after his knuckles turn white.

Theoretically, it’s a good match. From a family of good standing, his potential bride is quiet and well spoken—the perfect future housewife and mother. Their marriage would kill two birds with one stone, giving her father the son he never had, and Itachi—and therefore by extension Fugaku—control of their biggest competitor’s business.

All it requires is for Itachi spend the rest of his life pretending to be something he’s not.

The weight of it burns tight in his throat, threatening to break free on a rising tide of bile. He longs to cast off his gilded shackles, take a leaf from Sasuke’s book and do something completely crazy.

With a sigh, he rises from the table, collecting his dishes and depositing them circumspectly into the sink. Another day of work awaits.

[talkcloneshipstome]

I would like to request Rex/Fives, incorporating the word: forever ❤️

D... did I really never answer this ask? I wrote the prompt. It's been written for a while now. I am so sorry I forgot about this! I'm pretty sure Kanra even reminded me at some point, and then upon being reminded, I forgot to come and post this. Either way, I hope you like this. It's geared more towards Rex/Fives/Echo — which was done on accident — but Echo isn't actually present. This takes place post-Citadel. Due to that, the fic is under the cut for talk of death and character death.

Rex sits alone in the barracks. He hasn’t got a clue how he’s managed it, but he seems to have found a random sweet spot of time in which the entire bunk room is totally empty. It’s just Rex, the bunks, and his thoughts.

Thanks to General Kenobi, Cody, and the 212th’s ARCs joining the 501st for a few rotations for strategy planning and other similar responsibilities, Rex has been relegated once again to the barracks, along with Fives. They’re the only ARCs at the moment, so the ARC bunk room has been given over to their guests. Not that Rex is complaining though. He likes staying in the barracks usually. It feels less lonely…

The pressing quiet of his and Fives’ bunk room has been driving him insane. They were never an overly rowdy bunch in their free time, so the quiet isn’t out of the ordinary. But there’s something horribly oppressive about silence brought on by a missing presence who should, by all accounts, be there. But he’s not.

It’s been… oh, Rex isn’t sure anymore. He lost count of the days by the third after returning from the Citadel. It’s been over a week, he’s at least sure of that much. But other than that, time has been blurring into itself of getting very little (if any) sleep, rising with his alarm, and forcing himself to go through the motions. He is aware that his men are getting concerned, but it’s not like there’s much to worry about. Something will snap him out of this eventually, Rex is sure of it. It always does.

Though, they’ve also never lost Echo before. They’ve lost vode, of course. That’s just life for the clones. They’ve been losing brothers since before they could even remember. It’s different now that the war is officially going. Now that it’s been a year and a half or however long, losing brothers is different than it had been on Kamino.

And truthfully, Rex would be a filthy liar if he said that losing Echo wasn’t the punch in the gut that it is.

He tries not to think about it too hard. Tries to ignore the weight bearing down on him from all angles, and how sometimes he wants to cry so hard he can’t breathe. Rex doesn’t deserve to feel this way. He shouldn’t get to think of Echo and feel pain wash through him, so debilitating that he once actually stumbled and fell to his knees with a silent, grief-stricken sob.

Luckily, Fives had not been around.

After all, Rex is the one who said no. He’s the one who turned them down. Them. His chosen shinies, his ARC troopers. His Echo and Fives. They held out their hearts to him, full of love and hope for the future. They asked him for forever, and Rex told them no.

He wanted to agree so badly. It hadn’t been a new concept, of course. Brothers marry all the time. It’s not unheard of. Beyond that, the three of them had actually talked about it before. Rex had shared his concerns — his fears, his dreams, his realism. For all that he knew there was nothing wrong with it, Rex was scared of marriage. He still is. How can he promise someone forever when he can’t even be sure he’ll make it to see the morning?

It didn’t matter that they are his troopers. It didn’t matter that it’s more likely for all of them to die together than to die separately. Rex couldn’t promise them what they wanted. He refused to break their hearts like that.

Of course, he broke them a little bit by doing this anyway. They had looked at him with hope and love so true and deep in their eyes, and Rex had crushed it.

No, Rex does not deserve to miss Echo. He doesn’t deserve to feel like he’s bursting at the seams and falling apart. Fives is the one who deserves to be feeling this way. And he does. Rex knows Fives is barely keeping a lid on this thing. One misstep, and the whole tower of cards will come crashing down. Rex needs to be there for him when it finally does. Even if Fives hates him, Rex will be there.

That’s the thing that’s killing him though.

Fives does not hate Rex. Hell, he’s not even mad at him. Even as Rex watched his troopers’ hearts shatter before his eyes, they still smiled at him — sad though the expressions were — and said it was okay. They told him they understood. Because that’s how they are. Understanding. Caring. Loving.

Rex couldn’t have asked for better partners even if he wanted it.

The swish of the door opening and closing again pulls Rex out of his thoughts. There are tears on his cheeks, dripping down his chin.

Fives stands in front of Rex. His eyes are dull and watery with his own unshed tears. There’s a slackness to his features that tells Rex all he needs to know about how well Fives has been sleeping recently. Not.

Rex startles a little, not having realized someone was coming toward him.

“Fives—”

Fives holds up a hand and shakes his head silently. Rex shuts up immediately. He may be the captain, and Fives one of his ARC troopers, but Rex still knows when to take orders. The answer is “now” and “definitely from Fives”.

“You haven’t been sleeping,” Fives eventually says. It’s not what Rex was expecting to hear.

“Not well.”

The ARC nods. “Me either.”

There’s a pause after that in which neither of them speak. They just watch each other for a moment. A million things to say flash across Rex’s mind. In the end, he says none of them. It’s Fives who has to break their silence again.

“You and I both know he wouldn’t want us living like this,” he says finally. “This isn’t living, cyare.”

No, it’s not. Rex knows that. He nods in agreement, because really, that’s about as much as he can get out right now.

Fives sits heavily onto the bunk side Rex with a deep sigh.

“I don’t know why you’ve been avoiding me, Rex, but this has got to stop.”

“I’m not—”

“You are. I won’t pretend to know what going through that head of yours. Only you can say. So the only way I’ll know is if you actually tell me.”

Rex stares down at his lap, playing with his fingers and twisting them together painfully.

When he thinks he’s finally found his words, Rex swallows.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I shouldn’t have… I wish I hadn’t said no.”

Fives shakes his head again, cutting off whatever was going to follow that thought up.

“He knew you love us, Rex,” Fives tells him. He leans into Rex’s side, pulling him into a side hug with an arm hooked over the blond’s shoulders. “No marriage or lack thereof would change that. We love you, and you love us. You have your reasons for denying our proposal, so—”

“Had,” Rex corrects him. “I had my reasons, which I’ve realized now were really just making me feel worse. I just want to use whatever time I have at least trying to find some semblance of happiness.”

Fives doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t argue, either. He doesn’t pull away from Rex and leave him alone.

“I’m not asking you to marry me,” Rex cuts in again quickly. “That’s not— I wouldn’t—”

“Shh…” Damp lips press against his temple in a kiss. Fives tugs Rex even closer, until he’s practically in the ARC’s lap, hiding in his neck. “Shh, it’s alright. We can talk later, after we both take a nap. Got it?”

Rex nods, finally and suddenly realizing he doesn’t mind that he’s crying in Fives’ presence and noticing just how exhausted every part of him is. Fives maneuvers them until they’re laying down together. The new position is much more comfortable for the both of them. Rex finds himself sinking into the warmth of Fives’ embrace and the safety and comfort that he offers.

“Forever,” he mumbles. “You feel like forever.”

Fives smiles tearily against him.

“You do, too.”

Rex falls asleep to the feeling of a phantom hand he isn’t sure exists brushing over his hair. Warm air tickles across his ear like perhaps someone had whispered something into it.

“Forever, cyare’se. I’ll come back to you.”

[gumnut-logic]

Callisto (Voyage - Bit 2)

Prologue Incident - Bit 1 | Bit 2 Fallout - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 Voyage - Bit 1 | Bit 2

As I continue to write the Prologue, have a little Lee Taylor and Jeff with some Johnny and Scott on the side.

As always, many, many thanks to @tsarinatorment​ @scribbles97​ and @janetm74​ for the ongoing support, as well as my technical advisor @onereyofstarlight​ for the geek out fest on the weekend ::hugs you all::

I hope you enjoy this. I’m certainly enjoying the challenge :D

-o-o-o-

Jeff stared after his son for a long moment. Emotion swirled in his head and tangled with his stomach. That lightspeed jump did mess with his innards more than he would admit.

But Virgil’s words messed him up even more.

What weren’t they telling him? What had happened to Scott while he was gone?

He had read a good percentage of the mission reports and backtracked through Tracy Industries’ history over that eight years. Scott’s conduct was exemplary. He couldn’t be prouder. Both organisations had flourished under his sons’ management, Scott being the major driving force, but his younger sons stepping in where needed.

Hell, even Gordon had dabbled in aquaculture and Tracy Industries was now a major player on that front.

Something soured in his gut that had nothing to do with lightspeed travel. Perhaps he needed to be a little more honest with himself. Maybe things had gone so well, that in truth, his return wasn’t really needed.

Scott was brilliant, his brothers…hell, Jeff was ever so proud. His sons were everything. They had accomplished so much.

But what did that leave for Jeff?

He cursed under his breath, disgusted with himself. His natural competitive tendencies did not need to be deployed against his own children.

But that vacant feeling of loss and lack of purpose swelled. He hadn’t even thought about not going on this mission. He had grabbed it like a lifeline and now, somehow, he had managed to alienate those brilliant young sons and caused pain and worry where he had no intention.

“Jeff? Where the hell are you?”

Lee.

Despite himself, Jeff smiled.

Pushing off from the bed, he floated through the door and into the corridor. Lee was expertly manoeuvring down one wall, his experience showing in every movement. “I have to say that this baby of yours definitely hits the spot. I’ll have two for the Mars colony, please.”

Jeff snorted. “Get in line. The GDF are already on my back.”

Lee pulled up alongside. “You gonna give them one?”

“I doubt it.” He sighed. “Val is ready to vouch, but from what I’ve read from the last eight years…I don’t think they can be trusted.”

“Then what are you going to do?” They drifted down the corridor towards the mess. “This technology is a great step forward.”

“Yeah. So much power, Lee. I’ve worried about the Thunderbirds getting into the wrong hands. This….hell…Brains and Michael make a formidable team.”

“Your boys make a formidable team, Jeff. You should be proud.”

“I am.”

Lee pulled him to a halt with a hand. “Then what the hell are you doing out here, Jeff? Gerry had me on the pipeline frantic.”

Jeff blinked. “Gerry?”

“The swimming one.”

“Oh, Gordon?”

Lee waved a hand dismissively. “Yeah, whatever. But he was upset. Said you were trying to kill yourself.”

“What?!”

“Said your health wasn’t up to a long space flight. I know you know better than that, Colonel.” Blue eyes pinned him.

Oh, for the love of-

“I’m fine, Lee.”

“Bullshit. You may not be using that cane of yours, but I saw your medical charts when you got back. You fried your bones good, and your circulation has seen better days. Don’t think I’m an idiot. Gerry may be the excitable one, but he’s not dumb. Hell, even I can see Vinnie and Steve ain’t happy either.”

Jeff stared at him, caught between outrage that his best friend still couldn’t remember his sons’ names and the thought that Lee was also ganging up on him along with those sons.

“I am perfectly capable of handling this voyage. It is short. It is safe.”

Lee snorted with derision. “I know you know that there is nothing ‘safe’ about any space voyage, Jeff. Hell, you’re the one who taught me that. What are you playing at?”

That got his back up. “What am I playing at? Berry and Ju are missing, Lee.”

“Don’t you trust your boys?”

“I trust them!”

“Then let them do their jobs. You’ve done enough.”

Jeff glared at him. “I don’t see you retiring your space legs.”

“I didn’t go missing for eight years and fry my bones. You don’t have to do this. Your boys will find Berry and Ju. I’ve seen them in action. You should trust them.”

Jeff’s shoulders dropped. “I do.” It was an exhale. But... “Lee, I have to. I can’t sit on the sidelines anymore.”

Blue eyes stared at him, appraising. They weren’t unlike his eldest son’s eyes and probably shared the gene through Lucille.

The thought of his wife clenched his heart like it always did. Lee didn’t look much like his sister, but there were traces.

“Well, you’ve argued your ass out here. Looks like you’ve pissed half your family off in the process. I’d tread carefully. That eldest of yours looks ready to chew iron.”

Jeff grunted.

Lee reached out and grabbed an arm. “They’re good boys.” A swallow. “Lucy would be very, very proud.”

It was targeted and it hit perfectly. His throat tightened just a little. “I know.”

No more than breath. “I know.”

-o-o-o-

“I want to know why.”

John looked up from his tablet to see Scott floating in the doorway.

The astronaut knew this was coming. Hence his retreat to Thunderbird Five for a ‘systems check’.

“Because Dad needs this.” He turned back to his tablet, poked the device and shut down the scan he was running.

Scott pushed off the door frame and pivoted to a vertical stance - as a commanding posture as he could get in zero-g.

John raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment, forcing himself to relax in his partially seated position. He knew his brother was unhappy with him and he understood why. So, the question was a pertinent one.

“Dad does not need more illness and that is exactly where this is leading.”

“We won’t be out here that long.”

“How do you know? We don’t know what has happened? We won’t know fully until we are on site.”

John let his brother’s ire wash over him. “Scott, what are you going to do the day they say you can no longer fly?”

Blue eyes stared at him a moment. “What has that got to do with anything?”

John’s lips thinned. “Deny it all you want, but you know exactly what I mean.” He held his brother’s glare. “Dad has been grounded for nearly two years. Put yourself in his place. How do you think you would feel?”

He could see the inner turmoil on his big brother’s face. He hated going against Scott. It didn’t happen often, but it did happen and each time it hurt because it felt so wrong. Someone had to stand up for Dad in this and John feared the day he would be in his father’s place. To not be able to go into space. To never be able to see the stars unfettered by atmosphere again…he dreaded it. Just like he knew Scott dreaded losing his wings.

It was inevitable and they would both fight it as long as they could.

Just like their father.

But understanding didn’t make it any easier from a son’s perspective either. John knew in intimate detail exactly what his father’s health issues were. He empathised with him in ways that perhaps only Alan amongst his brothers could possibly understand. If he wasn’t careful, this was his future, too. Perhaps not as severe, perhaps not quite the same, but the risks were there.

His father’s cane reminded him every time he saw it.

Scott had already changed his rota on Five, Alan standing in more often, John on solid ground enough for cursed gravity to keep his systems running as they should.

Virgil had become hypervigilant as well, medical checks increased. He had once caught Dad’s chart up on display right next to his own, Virgil’s eyes comparing symptoms, obviously worried towards preventing issues before they happened in his little brother.

It had been a taxing couple of years.

“Okay, you’ve made your point.” It was grudging. “But it doesn’t remove the fact that his health is at risk. After all he’s been through…he’s been hurt enough.”

“Him or us?”

“Excuse me?”

“We have all been through hell and back. This isn’t just about Dad, Scott. I know. I’m just as scared as you.” He was, but he was shunting it away. He couldn’t afford it. “But this is who he is. You know that. He’s not going to wrap himself in a blanket, sit in a chair and rock his life away. If he did, he wouldn’t be Dad.” He blinked. “How do you see your twilight years? Are you going to slow down any time soon?”

“John-“

“He’s got all of us. He’s not alone out here. We’ll keep him safe.”

Blue eyes continued to stare at him, but there were no more words for a long time.

John simply stared back, calm and waiting.

“I am so angry at you.” The words slipped from his brother’s lips in frustration.

“I know.” John tilted his head just slightly. “Because you know I’m right.”

Scott got angry a lot, but he was rarely blinded by it. He couldn’t afford to be. And while Virgil tackled their big brother in his own way, John, in the few times Scott turned to him in this kind of situation, found that waiting him out with calm words usually worked. Not always, sometimes his brother just exploded more. But this time, this time John knew he was right and that Scott would understand, if he would listen.

His brother’s lips thinned, obviously with reluctance. “I want a medical monitor on him at all times. I want Five trained on him at all times.”

John arched an eyebrow, reached over and thumbed a switch. Their father’s vitals flickered into all their holographic glory. “Virgil already beat you to it. Wouldn’t let him on board without it.”

Those eyes tracked the readouts but Scott didn’t comment. “Keep an eye on him.”

John sighed and picked up his tablet again. As if he would do anything else. “Just like I do with all of you. They don’t call me the ‘Eye in the Sky’ for nothing.”

A grunt and Scott moved back towards the door. John poked at his tablet and resumed the scan he had been running. It wasn’t often humans were in this chunk of space and he planned to record everything he could.

If he was non-verbally dismissing his brother, it was on purpose. Scott needed to process and John was not needed for that.

And John had work to do before they jumped again.

He didn’t notice his brother leave.

-o-o-o-

Next

[unrequited-words]

I haven’t written here in God knows how long. Nothing much has changed. Still at the same job. I make a little more. I pay for everything. Hes still a stay at home dad and work for him is slow. On his line of work he doesn’t make what he should and the job market is fucking trash. I’ve seen it. He’s still looking for work. I realized when I wrote that post back in March of last year he wasn’t cheating then (dirty texting) it started in February.

His first wife who he was in contact with sent him dirty pictures. I looked at the date and it was when I was asleep at four am. I woke up two and a half hours later and got ready for work. I know it was a Saturday. It doesn’t punch me in the gut like it did when I first found out, but it’s still sad that he has a women next to him (me), a brand new baba, and yet he’s dirty texting his first wife while swapping dick pics.

Maybe it was my temper, or because we had fucked? Who knows, it was 18 months ago and I don’t remember. I don’t know why I’m writing this now.

Our kid is two, and she is growing. That’s beside the point. The point is, why do guys cheat even if they have a woman next to them? Sure it’s just dirty pictures and they aren’t fucking, but they might as well be.

He’s sleeping currently. I made him dinner and it’s on his desk cold. I’m thankful for how he helps and I do love him. I just hope I don’t end up being a single mom doing it on my own.

It’s almost six pm and the baby is watching paw patrol. She really likes it. She hasn’t napped at all today and probably won’t. Hopefully I can go to bed in the next four hours so I can get ready for work tomorrow. He may help his brother paint tomorrow. If he does, I have to figure out how I can work a full eight hours with a two year old. I won’t bring this up to him. I’m just like wow he was doing this while I was working.

He was probably drinking vodka at the time which mind you I paid for. I’ve been paying for everything for the last two years. Since he became a stay at home dad in November of 2020. I can do it on my own if I wanted to.

I worked out earlier because he said he was going to. I know I’m a fucking fat loser with no prospects and that’s probably why he cheated because I mumble under my breath and I’m difficult to live with. I don’t speak to anybody except him and two girlfriends who pretty much don’t speak to me unless they text first.

I’ve given up everything to move here and it’s much better than Vegas but is this what I get? I don’t mean to play the victim and there is his side… I’m working at a job I’m starting to hate, never leaving the house unless it’s for groceries and I basically live at home.

I’m happy I have a kid but not happy I got cheated on even if he doesn’t think so. I’ll probably delete this but when he drinks vodka I’m on edge. Will he pass out? Whose watching the kid? It’s this way when I’m working. It’s very fucking stressful and it’s been this way since he stopped working due to his anxiety. He stopped drinking vodka and started on beer but he said to grab wine for me and a bottle for him. It also helps to clean the heads of his vaping which I use too and I KNEW if I got it he’d drink it. I got it Tuesday and the bottle is almost gone.

It doesn’t matter. I’m in a rut and fucking sad. I don’t talk to anybody about it because I trust nobody. I keep to myself. I post pictures of my kid doing cute shit on SM. Other than that I don’t exist. I’ve been here two years and still haven’t had a vacation. I can’t afford it. With the PTO I do have it’s used for being sick. I currently have 14 hours and we can use unpaid work points which I have but I can’t afford that.

Sorry to ramble. I’m just really sad about this shitshow I’ve created and choose to stay on. Not a shitshow I don’t understand why he dirty texted her and I don’t want to have that conversation with him because I don’t have the emotional energy or time to argue. It’ll come down to why are you going through my phone? I wanted photos of my kid that he took, and yet I stumble across p u s s y pictures that are still backed up on your google photos?

Yet, I’m the c u n t if I bring it up. I know I’m playing the victim I’m just like why would you do this when your second wife fucked other dudes and you found out just like I found out. Sure you have kids with her but I’m in the same boat. Just like you I got cheated on except you didn’t fuck the bitch who you sent dick pics to. What’s ironic is the time stamp when I found out her sent his dick pics to her. It was right before I got on my last break.

How is that okay? How are you okay sending dick pics and have your gf who has your kid walk out of her work area and will ask how are you? Do you need anything?

I’m such a fun c k i n g cuck 😒

To be continued

[kikilefangirl]

The Witch Who Won’t Part 4

Klaus Mikaelson x Reader

(Word Count: 2064)

You woke up to a flood of texts, calls, and voicemails. Most were from your cousin, but a few came from Marcel. Tossing your phone on the other side of the couch, you rubbed your temple. You hadn’t even made it to your bed last night. Your puff was matted and misshapen.

You rubbed your eyes and stood up. A pounding headache and nausea made you keel over and do a mad dash to your trash can. You yakked up your dinner. After you brushed your teeth, you seized up.

The presence of an Original. Bounding from your bathroom to your front door, you flung it open. You don’t know why you expected Klaus. You had burned that bridge, indefinitely.

Elijah stood at your door offering a handkerchief. You cocked your head to the side and clicked your tongue.

“Whatever you want, I’m not interested.” You spat out.

Thinking back to the night before, you crossed your arms. The reality that Klaus had kissed you, and that he did it to handicap you was too much. Now his brother was at your door too.

“Y/N, would you please invite me in?” Elijah asked. His critical gaze had something else behind it, true concern.

You knew it wasn’t for you. Originals were only truly worried about other Originals. Klaus.

“I imagine Niklaus has upset you. I do apologize on his behalf, he has a, uh, talent for such things.” He said.

Elijah still had his hand out, still offering the handkerchief. You stepped closer, and took it. You wiped your mouth with it and set it on the counter.

“Come in.”

You surprised yourself. The thought of an Original having permanent access to your home made your stomach turn, but this time it was unavoidable. Elijah stepped through the threshold and unfastened his suit jacket as he sat down at the table.

You watched him, cautiously. Elijah wasn’t Klaus. You knew better than to make assumptions about him, certain concessions simply would not be granted.

“I beg you to consider forgiveness. I fear Niklaus requires it.” He replied. Elijah ran a hand across his bottom lip.

“He did what he wanted and now he’s dealing with the consequences.” You were firm.

Elijah scoffed and leaned back in the chair. You didn’t back down. You couldn’t. You sucked in a breath.

“Esther has him,” He ran a finger along the table, his daylight ring more prominent than before, “Aided by our brothers Kol and Finn, my mother has stood against Niklaus.”

Elijah began tapping his fingers. He pulled the corners of his mouth back with thinly veiled contempt. Esther was the original witch. You had learned your history and now it was sitting in your living room.

Esther was the woman who hid Klaus’s true identity, and when it was revealed, bound it from him for a thousand years. The man he had become––the creature that could kiss you one second and shackle you the next was partly her doing.

“She will ruin him. Again. She’ll ruin him again.” Elijah hissed.

On the surface, he appeared perfectly composed. Elijah was the pristine elder brother—the eldest due to Finn’s absence—constantly working for his siblings’ happiness. Klaus too, had his own persona to hold onto as well.

But the truth underneath remained: Where Elijah was cool determination, Klaus was wilder, freer.

“Pass me that grimoire. I’ll see what I can do.”

After a millennia of separation, you knew Elijah was right. Klaus was not going to recover the little bits of him he had left. He had a daughter out in the world who needed him.

“Call Rebekah. She should be here, too. And Vincent.” You said.

Turning on your heel you head down the hall toward the bathroom. Just because you were going to spend your whole day dealing with Originals, your basics weren’t going by the wayside.

                                                         …

Nothing in Gammy’s grimoire could have prepared you for the Original Witch or what she had reduced Klaus to, either.

Esther was in the body of a witch you knew. You flared your nostrils. Dead witches taking the bodies of living ones always made you upset.

“We came here for Klaus.” You announced.

She stepped away from her herbs, though you couldn’t see which ones. Even in another body, Esther was full of the kind of grace and danger you had previously seen with Klaus.

“I am afraid my son is unavailable.” She replied. Her eyes darted between you and Elijah, and even he was stifled by her presence.

“Mother, release Niklaus to us. Immediately.” He said.

“In your custody you and your siblings, especially Niklaus, have been a blight on this earth. You leave nothing but blood and death behind you. I will not be idle anymore.” She let out.

You could feel her anger, and oddly enough her love for her children. Esther was probably a good mother once, but her protectiveness ruined them and her.

You concentrated on Klaus’s familiar aura, drawing it closer and closer to you. Esther must have noticed because her eyes were trained on you.

“My, my, you are powerful indeed. And in love. Nevertheless, the strength in you does not wish to oppose me, nor I you.” She offered. While she spoke you curled your hand and twisted.

The stone wall behind her slid open, revealing a chained Klaus. The bitter part of you that enjoyed seeing him chained after what he did to you was quickly overpowered by a wave of worry. His golden irises burned with rage and hatred even as subdued as he was.

“If you truly loved my son, you would want him to be free of his curse. A pretty young witch like you would want children of your own and a husband capable of loving you without the threat of violence all around you!” Esther continued.

For a split second you hesitated. You did want that and maybe with him. But Esther knew him as a child, and longed for that child. You met the monster first, and loved him anyway. Whatever that made you definitely wasn’t normal.

“You let a man believe the one child he saw true potential in, the one child knew he could mold in his image, was his. And Mikael hated him for it.” You admitted.

Saying the words out loud made Esther pause in shock. Mikael’s name and his function in her life had the same effect on her as it did Klaus. Taking advantage of her vulnerability, you unleashed the brunt of your magic.

Elijah’s expression was cold and unflinching. He knew it was true just the same as you did. Esther may have the title of the Original Witch, but she thrived off the shared power of all witches. Dead and alive. You could draw on them, too. You thought of Vincent, of Gammy and beyond.

Esther flew through the air and slammed against the wall. Elijah immediately went to Klaus, breaking the chains that held him.

Before he was completely free, Esther countered. Her strength coupled with your overexertion made you fall to your knees in pain. You could feel her magic weighing you down. Something wet dripped from your nose. Blood.

You weren’t backing down from her. You felt a tugging in your gut and threw your head back. Esther wasn’t going to stop you from taking Klaus. You called on your ancestors and their power just as she did, with renewed focus. Wind whipped around you, dust swirled at your feet. The jars of herbs and dark objects shook and some shattered to the ground. Letting out a guttural cry, raw power radiated from you and it pulsed through the room and and the entire French Quarter.

You collapsed with exhaustion, your body landing on the hard floor. You were fading fast, you could barely keep your eyes open. As your vision blurred you could see Klaus speeding toward Esther. The chains were still on him, but the ends had been broken off.

Holding a thousand lifetimes of pain and betrayal, Klaus snapped his mother’s neck and she went limp in his arms.

You smiled, as you had done your part. Cold hands were the last thing you remembered before everything went black.

                                                        …

You woke up in a large bed in the Mikaelson compound, completely alone.

You were wearing your pajamas from home. You stepped on the floor barefoot, flinching at the cold.

“Good evening, Y/N. I must say we were beginning to worry.”

Elijah. He offered you his arm and you took it. Your legs still felt like jelly. He led you to another empty room, stopping at the threshold.

“Niklaus, do not be rude to our guest. She did save our lives.” Elijah called out. So this was Klaus’s room.

He did not immediately appear. Preparing yourself, you let go of Elijah and stumbled into the room. You made it to a stool. Nearby were beautiful paintings and three full blood bags. As you admired the artwork, Elijah took his leave. As soon as he did, Klaus finally appeared.

“Careful, love. I did that one in 1823, it’s fragile.” His tone was his usual charming self, but his sunken in eyes, and restricted movements told the story.

“Here.” You slid a blood bag over to Klaus.

He poured it into a glass, but he made no moves to drink it. He swirled the liquid, squeezing so hard on the glass it broke in his hand.

You jumped, but Klaus wasn’t fazed. Instead he was staring at a spot on the floor, expressionless. He sat slack jawed and deflated. He was none of the wild hybrid—whether he was angry or vindictive or proud or jealous.

The man across from you was nothing at all.

“Klaus. You need to drink.” You whispered.

There was something fragile about him you had only seen glimpses of. Klaus always fell back on his default, but this was different.

“Klaus!” You boomed, bolting upright so fast your chair fell to the ground.

You stalked up to Klaus with fear as an afterthought. He was beginning to have that effect on you, which was probably for the worst. You wrapped your hands around his neck and jaw. He wouldn’t meet your gaze.

“Esther was right to call you a monster. She was wrong to say that was all you were. Look at me, Klaus.” You pleaded.

You were nose to nose now, and once you had his eyes on yours you wasted no time.

“Klaus! She was wrong! Esther was wrong. You have a daughter who will always love her daddy. Your siblings won’t turn away from you. I won’t, either.” You said desperately.

Esther was a woman whose back was against the wall and Klaus was her secret keeper, her ultimate secret keeper. And he, unlike Mikael’s children, was hers to isolate, a punishment Klaus could never bear from his mother.

You sucked in a breath, and bore your neck out for him.

“Drink.”

The quick pain as the hybrid’s fangs pierced your neck was followed by pure euphoria. You could feel him take every drop of blood that oozed out. Klaus’ arms wrapped around you, pulling you onto his lap. It was as if you two were the only two in the world, and you reveled in it.

Once you began to get light headed, Klaus retracted his fangs and licked the wound. His amber eyes burned with an intensity that made you squirm at how close you were to each other. You were hyper aware of his body and your own.

Klaus smirked at your newfound discomfort and kissed you full on. You could taste traces of an iron tang on his tongue, but that didn’t stop you. You kissed him back and your heart was heavy with all the emotion and stress from the day before. He leaned into you, taking care to hold you tighter. It was the reassurance you needed. You broke away from the kiss to breathe, and you drank each other in.

Klaus wasn’t one to say thank you, and you didn’t need it. You flashed him a show stopping smile. You didn’t know what would come from your actions.

All you knew was that you had fallen for this man; you truly and wholeheartedly loved Klaus Mikaelson, and he, in his own way, loved you, too.

END

[the-slasher-files]

ANDREI KULOKOVA HEADCANONS

Clearly I cannot get this man out of my head.. like ever! Honestly I’ve been in a big big writing lull lately and I only want to write for Andrei, so I happy to share these hcs with you!.. hope you enjoy 🔪💕

MASTERLIST

Andrei’s code names in the army were ‘The Wolf’ or 'North’

He has O negative blood type, meaning he is a universal donor. Andrei always (when he is wearing his vest) has IV tubing and needles, just in case.

On that topic, Andrei is very knowledgeable with medical information, he has saved many of his brothers in the army from death. He can save you, but the issue is if he cares to.

Yes he is a very hot bloodied man, but under pressure he is calm and cool, especially with his s/o. Feral rage can turn instantly off if he sees someone he loves really hurt, calmly giving orders and helping you.

Andrei never went to school after his mother died, at age 12. He may not be super educated in math or sciences but this man is smart. Never underestimate him. He can fix a truck, be your handy man around the house, and has amazing people skills.

He is a history buff.. Yup, you heard me. Andrei loves history, specifically war history. After his uncle died he was free to explore more education and he found a deep love in history, learning it all himself through reading, documentaries and listening to people around him. (Me and @horrorslashergirl have a weird AU where he is in college and works in a museum, in a suit with glasses 👀)

Andrei is trained in many things but one I don’t talk about often is bombs and specifically land mines. This guy loves to blow stuff up for fun and has a few land mines in specific places on his land, and abandoned town.

His favorite drinks are a deep earl grey (a Russian blend of course) and Vodka on the rocks.

He loves bath time.. yup a hot bath, even with bubbles he doesn’t care, he loves it.

One of my favorite things about Andrei is when he needs to think or stop his active mind, he goes into his field (usually shirtless) and just stands out there, closes his eyes, enjoying the peace and quiet.

Andrei HATES condescending and controlling people, it brings him back to when he was a kid or in the army. Now that may seem hypocritical but honestly it is not. Degradation is for sexy time and teasing only, and Andrei is only controlling with his playthings but even then he lets them decide and have a good amount of freedom.

Man is a furnace and doesn't feel cold what so ever

He loves action movies, even though he will comment on how unrealistic they are. Also he loves documentaries.

Andrei listens to all kind of music. Mainly rock or metal but he loves Russian new wave and some rap. He also had a HUGE punk phase so that occasionally comes on.

He will do any dare or bet, not even kidding. His army buddies stopped daring him to do stuff because he would just do it. Andrei is a big thrill seeker and will do so much stupid stuff.

He used to have a wolfdog, a brother to Amaria’s wolfdog Dyn. Unfortunately it had too high of a concentration of wolf in it and he had to let it go, but he does still see him every once and a while. He even named him Alexei, meaning “great defender” in Russian. Andrei always leaves one of the outbuildings open for him just incase the weather gets too cold or dangerous. Also he may or may not use him to get rid of bodies, if he sees him wandering around.

Andrei drives a 1995 Range Rover all black with giant snow tires, or his black old Russian truck.

He can ice skate and used to play hockey with his buddies

He is secretly loaded. Yes he has money in his walls and all over the town. Andrei knows what he is worth and his rates aren’t cheap, plus it’s all in cash so there is no paper trail. He is never one to flaunt his wealth, you probably won’t even know until you see him coming home from a mission with a duffle bag of cash, throwing it in under the floor boards.

Andrei had a secret male s/o in the army, it was his first male relationship but they had to hide it from everyone. In a dangerous feral state the wolf had killed him, that was his last undercover mission.

This guy can read people like no tomorrow, every tiny subtle thing you do he notices. Could be the way you bite your cheek if you’re nervous or the way you rub your hands together when excited. He knows.

Also Andrei is very good at manipulation but doesn’t use it often.

He is a terrible sleeper. Andrei wakes at every noise in the house and only gets about 5 hours a night but only 1 hour is actually deep sleep. Sometimes he gets so exhausted that his body gives out and he will sleep for 12 hours fully clothed, in his cargo pants, vest and jacket. However he is much better with an s/o to sleep with, it’s still bad though.

I say this a lot but Andrei has an incredibly active mind, and it’s hard for him to relax or ease up. He uses drinking and smoking as a way to calm down, also just walking into the field for peace.

His favorite food is a nice hardy warm stew with rabbit meat.

Andrei adores just holding his s/o in his arms as on the couch or in bed.

He is honestly kind of paranoid, not so much by himself but if he has a s/o. You can come with him to the nearest town, but never ever draw attention to yourself or him, for your safety. He has people after him.

The wolfs signature is ripping off someone’s jaw or ripping out their spine by gutting them and reaching in.

If you mess with him but he dubs you as not a worthy hunt or not a good kill, you might see a bear trap in your home the next morning.

His tattoo on his left palm 'NO GODS’ is something he got to remind himself that he has control of his life and take his fate into his own hands, not his paranoid controlling uncle. It also holds him accountable for his actions, there are no gods to blame, he did it. The tattoo connects to Amaria as well. She is a lil crazy and does kills for 'the gods’, but Andrei sees that as foolish, he does his kills for himself, nothing else.

The 'grateful for the hunt’ thing I often write in Andrei’s stories is what his uncle would always say to him, with people or animals. It’s burned into his brain and it will never leave him. The words remind him to breathe and take in every deadly detail, that Andrei loves so so much.

Alright time to get.. a little odd lol… me and some friends have an interesting thing going where Andrei has a 'wolf pack’.. Dallas (@slashersins oc) is his husband, not legally, but Dallas wears a wolf ring for him. Xaviera (@horrorslashergirl oc) is Andrei’s soul mate and girlfriend. Xaviera’s cousin Akshay is Andrei’s best friend, they fight constantly but have so so much fun.. plus they fuck when they’re drunk lol. I am Akshay’s 'snow queen’ aka girlfriend. Andrei also has 2 'playthings’ Bianca (@horrorslashergirl) and Sights (@thesightstoshowyou)… the house is too full and Andrei may or may not regret having all these people lol.

[walkerwords]

“The Savior Sessions” Part 16 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC/GENE PAGE

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: When the reader arrives back home, they have to face Negan, but first, they need to tell the others what happened with Alpha. When they find out that Daryl is about to step into the fire what will happen and how will Negan and the reader get past his escape?

Word Count: 2981

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “Falling” by Harry Styles

Note: I wanted to make this part focused on conversation and have a breather after all the action. More to come.

-------

The walls of Alexandria greeted you late in the afternoon. 

The entire ride home you had been paranoid that any Walker was one of Alpha’s people. The original fears from the start of the Apocalypse were returning. A lone Walker or even a few hadn’t given you the sense of fear like this since those first few months. However, now, the Living threat moved with the Dead and there were new rules to play by.

At least, that is what you felt this was. A cruel game. After Terminus, after the Wolves, and even after the Saviors, you didn’t think people could get worse. How naïve you and the rest of your family had been.

As your horse swayed beneath you, your hands gripped the reins tightly as Alpha’s face remained at the forefront of your mind.

There was something so feral yet powerful about the woman. You could also tell that she was the product of the new world and based on what Lydia had told you, Henry, and Daryl, her mother hadn’t always been this way. You only hoped that whatever Daryl was about to do didn’t unleash even more of the terror that you were sure was hidden beneath her stoic features.

Siddiq was the one that met you as the gate opened. He took the reins of your horse and led him to the stables, not saying a word as you finally relaxed when the gate shut securely behind you. 

“Here,” Siddiq said quietly as he reached for your arm to help you down off the horse. You gripped his shoulder as your feet hit the ground and then he was pulling you into him. “I’m so sorry about Jesus,” he said and you gripped him back, trying to keep your emotions in check. 

“Thanks, Doc,” you said as you gave him a final squeeze before letting go. Stepping back, you looked up at him and then noticed something else in his eyes. Something that wasn’t just sympathy. “What else happened?” He took a breath and then smiled slightly.

“Rosita’s pregnant,” he said proudly and that was the last thing you had expected to come out of his mouth. 

“And it’s….it’s yours?” you asked, carefully. 

“Yeah, it is,” he said with a wider smile. You couldn’t help the wave of emotion that overtook you then. Even with all the sorrow, this was something to celebrate. 

“I am so happy for you,” you said and you meant it. “Look at you, a dad.” You punched him in the shoulder lightly. 

“Thanks,” he said and you could tell he wanted to be even more excited, but after what had happened, nobody was feeling very gleeful. Instead, you focused on the task at hand. 

“We need to talk. All of us,” you said with a heavy sigh, “we are not even remotely done with these people.” Siddiq understood immediately. 

“I’ll call for a council meeting,” he said. “Did you want to and talk to…” he began, but you shook your head. 

“No, just call the meeting. Negan can wait.”

---------

“They’re back,” a quiet voice said in the dark. 

Negan slowly opened his eyes. He wasn’t sleeping. He hadn’t been able to since Michonne returned and told him what had happened and asked him if he had ever heard of people walking with the Dead while wearing their skins. He hadn’t, but he wasn’t surprised that they were out there. The new world changed people in the most extreme ways. 

Michonne hadn’t stayed long, but he could tell the new threat was getting to her. It was rare when he saw the woman rocked and he didn’t have a good feeling about what was to come. 

Turning over on his cot, Negan looked at Judith who had just returned to the cell. Judith folded herself onto the floor as she had hours before. She had been doing so since he got back, only leaving to see her mom and sleep. Whether Michonne knew or not, she never told her to leave. 

“Do they look angry?” Negan asked.

“They look tired,” Judith said softly. “I think something else bad happened.” Negan furrowed his brow as he sat up. 

“Why do you say that?”

“Siddiq just called a council meeting. They only do that when something bad happened,” Judith said.

“They called a council meeting once because Eugene tried to make a catapult,” Negan reminded her. 

“This one feels different,” she said with a slight shake of her head. “Before I came down here, I heard (Y/N) say that Uncle Daryl was afraid. He’s not afraid of anything.” Negan frowned at that. He knew Daryl enough to know that he rarely showed fear in the face of danger. 

“Your uncle is strong, kid,” he told her, trying to reassure her. “He’s been through worse.” Judith, however, wasn’t convinced. She leaned in more towards the bars, removing her hat so he could see her better. 

“Negan,” she whispered, “I’m scared.” He didn’t hesitate then. Negan moved towards the bars and crouched down to her level. He reached for her hands and she held onto them tight. 

“You listen to me, kid,” he said, “no matter what happens, nobody will hurt you. Do you understand me? I won’t let them hurt you. Besides, you are a survivor, and dammit, you’re a Grimes. To these new freaks that may not mean somethin’, but to me and to everyone else in your family, that means a lot.”

“Does it?” she asked in a small voice.

“Hell yeah it does,” he assured her. “You, your mom, and that little boy upstairs are what’s left of this badass family I met seven years ago and you know what I learned after knowin’ your daddy and big brother?”

“What?”

“Nobody goes against a Grimes and wins.”

--------

As soon as you finished explaining what had happened at Hilltop, the meeting hall was silent. 

“I don’t know what Henry ended up saying to her, but it got the kid to open up,” you explained. “I think that she could be valuable.”

“For what?” Aaron asked. “You saw those freaks the same night I did, (Y/N). You know how ruthless they are. They aren’t going to back down for one girl.”

“Lydia is Alpha’s child, Aaron,” you said. “Whether the woman is capable of compassion or not, that means something to her. I don’t think she would have openly exposed herself like that if it didn’t.”

“And that’s why Daryl went after her? For leverage?” Rosita asked. You noticed that her hand was placed protectively on her abdomen. You didn’t think she realized she was doing it. 

“I think it’s more about protecting her,” you said with a sigh. “The girl’s been abused.”

“She also killed Jesus,” Aaron argued. 

“No, her people did. Lydia didn’t kill anyone,” you countered. 

“As far as you know…” 

“Look all I know is that Daryl is about to declare war and we need to be ready,” you said. Looking around at the faces in the room, you could see that a wave of fear was being passed from person to person. These...Whisperers, as Eugene called them, were something out of a nightmare and that was saying something considering everyone had been living in a horror film for a decade. 

“Negan didn’t know them,” Michonne interjected, gaining your attention. You nodded.

“I figured as much,” you sighed. “I don’t think anyone would have known them. I think that this is their first time showing themselves to people that they weren’t immediately going to kill afterward.”

“Looks like we’re all going in blind on this,” Michonne said. 

“It’s new territory, that’s for sure,” you said, leaning against the wooden column at your back. 

“What’s your take on all of this?” Gabriel asked you. 

“I think they are more dangerous than we think,” you said. “We’ve fought villains before, but this is the first time when I can’t see how this is going to go. Guns and armies are one thing, even those freaks at Terminus made some kind of sense in my mind. But this? This is absolute insanity and I’m positive that we haven’t seen the last of Alpha or her people.”

“Why didn’t you go with Daryl?” Aaron asked. 

“I was needed back here,” you said.

“For Negan?” Aaron asked, narrowing his eyes. 

“Yes, Aaron, instead of informing my family that there are masked psychos after us, I ran all the way back here to check on escaped convict number one,” you spat, gathering your things and gripping your sword tighter. “Fuck off.” 

Nobody said anything as you stormed from the hall. 

“Nice,” Michonne said with a smack to the back of Aaron’s head. 

You headed for home, still boiling with anger. You knew that Aaron was angry with you about everything with Negan no matter what he said. He blamed Negan for Eric and while you understood, you just wished that he would remember that Negan wasn’t the one to kill his boyfriend. Eric tragically died in the war, but so did a lot of people. 

Pausing in the middle of the road, you couldn’t believe that that thought crossed your mind. You were invalidating Aaron’s grief because of your own emotions and feelings and you hated the way it made you feel. “Get yourself together,” you whispered to yourself. 

Continuing on towards your house, you passed by the Grimes house when a small voice reached your ears.

“You always tell me to be honest!” Judith’s yell came from the cell beneath her house. She sounded frustrated which had you moving closer. 

“You’re the kid, I’m the adult,” Negan said back. Hearing his voice offered you both comfort and stoked that anger in your gut. You wanted to throttle him and hug him at the same time. Your feet were moving before you could even stop them and the next thing you knew you were pushing open the heavy door of the jail. You were met with silence. 

“Get out, Judith,” you ordered. The young girl looked up at you from her spot on the ground. Her hat was in her hands and she looked as if she had been there for a while. 

“No,” she said, “you’re gonna yell at him.” The girl was too smart for her own good, you thought. You still avoided looking at Negan, but you could feel his eyes on you. 

“I’m gonna yell at both of you if you don’t get out,” you said. “Your mom is gonna wanna talk to you.”

“Is this about what happened to Jesus?” she asked, getting to her feet. 

“Yes, now go.” Judith hesitated. “Judith, right now.” With a sigh, she placed her hat on her head and sulked as she walked from the room. With one last look at Negan, she stormed out and ran up the steps. 

“You shouldn’t be angry with her,” Negan said, finally speaking directly to you. You paused and then let your bag drop from your hands. Dust flew from where it thumped to the cold floor and then you were turning to finally look at him. That light was in his eyes again, the one that was only reserved for you. 

Normally, it would give you so much joy, but it only fueled your fire. However, you kept your temper under control. “Are you sure you don’t know anything about these Whisperers?” you asked, your voice low. 

“Is that what you seriously want to talk about right now?” he asked, his arms braced on the bars as he gave you an incredulous look. 

“I’m not sure I can talk about anything else without screaming.”

“You’re angry,” he said.

“I’m hurt, Negan,” you corrected. “When Scott showed up and told Daryl and me that you had left, yeah, I was pissed. I couldn’t understand why after everything you would just leave and then I realized something.”

“Which was what?” he asked carefully. 

“That I was so stupid to believe anything that happened between us was real.” Negan stared at you in shock, not expecting that at all. 

“You honestly believe that? Are you fucking kidding me?” 

“What else am I supposed to believe!” you shouted. “I am so goddamn stupid! I should have known the second you had the chance, you were going to leave. I just don’t know why you even bothered to come back.”

“Don’t bullshit yourself, (Y/N),” he countered, not letting you be the only one on offense.

“Excuse me?”

“You know damn well why I came back! You just won’t admit it to yourself because you’re afraid!”

“Afraid? Of what? Why don’t you tell me Negan since you seem to know me so well,” you said, crossing your arms.

“That’s the thing, though. I do know you. I know you better than anyone has in a long time. And I’m not talking about where you grew up or how many Walkers you’ve killed. I know you. We are the same and I know that I’m not the only one who has felt that way. You can deny it all you want, but I know the truth and so do you.” 

“You don’t know anything,” you whispered, but your voice was thick with emotion. “I can’t feel like this, don’t you understand?”

“Like what?” 

“Like I am willing to turn my back on my entire family just to keep you safe. Just to make sure that you are still alive when I come home. I shouldn’t be this...this consumed by one person!”

“Why are you acting like the idea of you and me is so fucking terrible?”

“Because everything I touch, I kill and so do you! You say we’re the same, well you’re right, Negan! We are both monsters and all people do is die around us! Rick, Carl, Jesus! If we are the same then I don’t want to be!”

“I’m not going to let you stand there and say that what we feel for each other doesn’t mean anything!”

“Don’t tell me how to feel,” you shot back.

“Then say it, (Y/N),” he said, leaning through the bars. “Say that I mean nothing to you and I’ll stop.” You were silent as you looked at him, fighting the tears behind your eyes. “That’s what I thought.”

“You bastard,” you swore. “You left me. After everything that I’ve lost, that you knew about and you left! How am I supposed to react to hearing that you were gone!”

“I came back,” he said softly. 

“And what if you didn’t? Was I just supposed to accept that? Was I just supposed to go on with life not knowing where you were or if you were even alive? What was the plan?” Negan reached for you, but you shook your head, holding your arms tighter against your chest.

“I didn’t think there was a future here if I was locked in a cage.”

“I don’t wanna hear it,” you shot back, trying to keep your rage contained. 

“Don’t you?” Negan challenged. 

“I just lost one of my best friends and my other one is hunting down our new enemy’s kid to save her life so no, Negan, I don’t want to hear it.”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N),” he whispered.

“What did I tell you about apologizing?”

“I’m not sorry that I left, I’m sorry that you’re hurting.”

“You hurt me,” you told him, wiping at your face. 

“I know and if I could take it back, I would,” he said. 

“I don’t want to be the bad guy here,” you told him. 

“You could never be the villain of my story,” he whispered. The silence was thick in the room and you didn’t know how to respond to him. You hadn’t intended to go off on him like this, you thought you would give it a few days, but hearing his voice….

“I have to figure out how to help Daryl,” you said suddenly with a sniff. Negan frowned as you changed the subject but went along with it. 

“What are you going to do about them?” he asked. 

“We’ll figure it out when Daryl finds the girl. He has to be included in the decision. Tara too. Maggie also if we can reach her, but I don’t know where she is right now,” you whispered, not looking at him. 

“There’s gonna be a fight, isn’t there?” 

“Not if I can help it,” you said, gripping your blade. Negan noticed and he also noticed the steel reserve that seemed to be around you since you walked in. 

“You’re gonna kill them.” It wasn’t a question. 

“Cut off the head of the snake and the body dies,” you said looking up at him. He could see the tears marks, the tears he had caused. “No more games. If she comes for us, I will kill her.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” you said.

“We both know that’s not true.”

“We don’t know anything anymore.” 

“What are you really trying to say, (Y/N)? That you hate me now?” 

“I will never hate you,” you said, taking a step back. “I told you that before.”

“So what, then?” 

“I just can’t trust you anymore,” you said as you grabbed your bag and slung it over your shoulder. 

“How do I win that trust back?” he asked, his tone becoming hoarse. 

“I don’t know,” you whispered, turning to go. 

“I’ll do anything!” he called to you. Your hand paused on the door handle and as you closed your eyes you let one more tear fall. 

“Maybe that’s the problem.”

“(Y/N)!” he yelled as you left the room, letting the door close behind you as you walked away from him.

As you jogged up the steps, you heard his calls for you to return, but you just kept walking.

TAGS:  : @amaroho​ @thanossexual @yes-sir-hotchner @boom-bunny @delusionalteenagewhispers @scootankle @ritajammer21 @writteriguess @tea-atfive @jennydehavilland @halszka-potter @yespleasejayhalstead @fmunegan @hoemadegrace  @pulplorrd @writingdead0829 @lucillethings

[cedricslover]

Troubled pt.5

Pairing: Cedric x Fem! Reader

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.6 (Final)

Series summary: A very unfortunate situation happened and it resulted in very unfortunate events. You had everything, a good boyfriend that everyone dreamed of, best friends that you got in a twin pack, and a loving school. It was a calm before a storm and in your sixth year the storm came. You faced the consequences your deceased parents run from, you were only left with your only family, your little brother. What would you do in order to save him? The answer is, everything, even if it means joining a terrorist group of wizards, joining THE DEATH EATERS…

Chapter Summary: 3 weeks have passed, you did get hate, but after a while it calmed down. Maybe because of the new “thing”, Cedric and Cho. They look good together and you tried your best to be happy for them. Not until the second task, Cho was important to him, you get it. As you headed back to the castle you were greeted by Dobby and took you to the residence of the Black family. You found out what your parents really did, and when you were on your way back to the castle after the talk you had with Remus and the others, Cedric suddenly appeared in front of you at Hogsmeade, and is that worry in his eyes?

Note: there is no specific house:))) i can make requests if y’all have one. 

Warnings: Angst, torturing, mentions of death. And itty little fluff.

Word count: 3.9k

Sometimes, it would really hurt after you made the right choice, but you would always wonder, was it really the right choice if it cuts this much. 

“Y/N?” George snapped his fingers that directed your attention to him. He was smiling sadly to you, “Fred and I brought you Cauldron Cakes.” he sat beside you and handed you a bag, it wasn’t just Cauldron Cakes, there were also Chocolate Frogs, Liquorice Wands, and Acid Pops. 

“You didn’t have to bother George, I’m fine really. It’s been what? 2 or 3 weeks already, I’m doing great” you smiled widely at him, the corners of your eyes wrinkled as you tried your best. “Yeah alright” his face relaxed and shifted his view on what you were looking at earlier. 

You were at the courtyard, sitting on a bench, you wanted to breathe fresh air after cramming. It felt good, just feeling the February breeze blowing your hair, giving you kisses, it was freedom being blown by the wind. You didn’t mind the chatter of the other students who were hanging out in the courtyard, their laughter wasn’t annoying at all, it felt natural, their smiles weren’t forced-but you know each one of them has or is still fighting a battle. 

“You like it here now?” Fred arrived and sat at your other side, now you’re in the middle of the twins, “sort of” you scrunch your nose and titled your head, there was comfort seeing these people. It might sound weird because some of them hated you, although they must have forgotten about it already, you still received howlers and glares before. But after almost a month, they all seem to move on, you wished it was just that easy. 

“Is something itchy Y/N?” George asked you as you were unconsciously scratching your left forearm, he was about to reach for it but you instantly avoided it but not in a suspicious way, thankful for the snitch that suddenly went in your direction. 

You caught the snitch that’s why it was not suspicious, you would’ve kissed the person that owned that snitch but your mood changed in a snap as you saw who were walking towards you. 

It was Cho, with Cedric. 

“Oh hey, may I?” Cho pointed to your hand where the snitch is, your lips curved into a smile as you stood up and handed the snitch to Cho, you glanced at Cedric for a second and was greeted by his blank stare. You purse your lips as they start to walk away. 

“They’ve been spending more time together” Fred muttered after one whole minute of silence after you sat down again. You saw in your peripheral vision that George was mouthing him to not say anything. You half smiled and pulled your head back and watched the sky, the clouds moving as they took unrecognizable shapes, the birds flying, and even a few of the students who were riding their brooms. 

“It’s fine George, and yes, I know. Who wouldn’t notice. Not me” You inhaled the fresh air, images flashing before your eyes. 

You walked back to your dorm and closed the door. Your roommates weren’t there yet. You took this opportunity to grab your trunk and open it. Hidden at the very bottom of it was a letter. At first look you would think that this was just an ordinary letter, but seeing that there was a hair purposely attached to the envelope, you know who it was from.

Dear Y/N,

             Your brother is fine, I heard from a fly that there’s something that is going on in your life. End that now. Death Eaters don't do attachment unless it is attachment by blood. I have high expectations for you, my lovely subject. You don’t want to disappoint me right? My coming back is almost near and if you ruin that, then prepare to say farewell to your ickle brother. 

You trembled as you read it. This letter came just before that picture of Cedric. You didn’t have the guts to read it before, until now. You had to make sacrifices, Cedric can find another girl, and it seems like he already did.

“Ced?” you called his name while you lay at his chest, “Yes, dove?” he sounded sleepy, his arms wrapping you. “If we broke up, would you find another girl?” you looked at him, he was just staring at the ceiling, his long lashes peeking at you, you pouted as you thought how unfair it was, why do men always have the long lashes. 

“How about you?” he was now looking at your eyes, his stares were direct to your soul, in his eyes you can’t hide any secrets, it would all be naked. 

“I don’t know” you shrugged, broke the eye contact, and reached for his hand and intertwined it with yours. 

His chest was going up and down, you felt his warmth wrapping you “My answer would be,” he guided your face to look at him again, “no” he smiled sweetly, “I date to marry Y/N, and I don’t think I would love anyone like how I love you” he planted a kiss on your forehead.

Liar.

Another day and it was the day of the second task, you weren’t so sure as to why Harry was so off. 

“Harry, you alright?” You walked up to him as you headed to the Black Lake, worry and anxiety was all over his face. He looked at you and you saw how he swallowed so excessively for many times, showing that he is not okay, “Have you seen Hermione and Ron?” Harry asked, his eyes can’t focus in one direction. You stopped and grabbed his shoulders. 

“No. I haven’t seen them, but Harry, you need to focus.” you stared at his eyes, your brows furrowed. “You’ll do great, and I know Hermione and Ron are fine, they wouldn’t miss their bestfriend fight for 1000 galleons” you chuckled as the tense in his face slowly disappeared. “Come on” you wrapped your arms around his shoulder and headed to the shore. 

“So what’s in the egg?” you asked him, he was still looking around and you understood him. Even if it was you who was in his shoes you would be anxious, this tournament can bring you death or glory. And your best friends, your supports, weren’t there, it must feel twice as heavy.

“‘come seek us where our voices sound,

We cannot sing above the ground,

And while you're searching ponder this;

We've taken what you'll sorely miss,

An hour long you'll have to look,

And to recover what we took,

But past an hour, the prospect's black,

Too late, it's gone, it won't come back.’. 

That’s what it said-or more like sang” Harry looked at your confused face. “So they took something important or close to you?” your eyes squinted at the view of the twins who were still doing their gambling booth.

“I think so” he yawned, he must have gotten little sleep. 

“Step up mates, don’t be shy!” you heard George and Fred calling the students, “Merlin, what’s the point of this?” you let go of Harry and he went to his classmates, while you headed to the twins. 

“Oi! What’s the score?” you asked that made their heads turn to you in shock, their faces brightened up and told you the score. 

“Shut up. Fleur’s great” you rolled your eyes and stood beside them. “Yeah we know” they both said and fixed their gaze on Fleur, Fred immediately removed it and continued to take the bets while George was busy staring at somewhere, it wasn’t Fleur, but perhaps her friend. 

“You two doing fine?” you nudged George that made him slightly jump, he shook his head and smiled “got into an argument. Got any advice, lover girl?” he teased you, you laughed and pulled his ear, “If you continue this I swear to the founders of Hogwarts I am going to cut your ear off” you said while he chuckles and still saying ouch. 

Someone cleared their throat that made you three stop, “Ah! Pretty boy, what is it that you need?” Fred asked while secretly pokes you. “I’m going to place a bet” he still has that cold stare whenever you’re around, completely different from that warm look he always had. 

“To who?” George asked, raising his eyebrows, “To myself” he handed a sickle, after that he just turned his back to the three of you, it was complete silence, it was never expected. 

“A confident lad we got there mate” George chuckled and handed the sickle to Fred who also laughed, you just plastered a smile on your face still observing Cedric’s back, he’s also tensed, you know him, but he’s just hiding that with his stupid smile. You never wished Cho to be here so much, where in the bloody Earth is that girl?

Your question was answered when you saw Cedric coming up from the water, Cho wrapped in his arm as they tried to inhale oxygen, your heart shattered at their sight. 

So she’s the valuable one, the one he’ll sorely miss. 

You smiled bitterly as the cheers grew louder. The two talked. Well if he’s with Cho, he won’t be risked to any danger. 

“I hate you.” you whispered and made your way back to the castle, there were no tears that streamed down to your face and you hated it too. Your heart felt heavy, it was so hard to breathe that you had to stop just to compose yourself. Your hands resting on your knees you were alerted when you heard the leaves crunching. Immediately getting your wand and looked up, only to be greeted by Dobby. 

“Dobby?” you slowly put down your hand and looked at the elf in front of you. “Hello Y/N Y/L/N. Dobby is here asked by Remus Lupin, Dobby can’t take you anywhere without your consent, will you come with me?” he was looking up at you, you treated Dobby like any other living thing, you never treated him as a slave, that’s why you’re part of S.P.E.W. 

You observed his face and later on accepted his hand, you would rather go wherever Dobby would take you, other than this place.

“Sirius?” You were greeted by Sirius black when you and Dobby arrived at 12 Grimmauld Place, you weren’t familiar with this place but you know this was the residence of the Black family. 

“How are you dear?” he hugged you, Sirius was sort of close with your family, well the Blacks to be specific. But you know your parents didn’t like most of them, they had a disagreement with most of the purebloods who sided with the Dark Lord.

“Let me go!” you shouted as the Carrow siblings held you and your parents. “Shh. You might wake your little brother, Y/N” Amycus peered at you and smiled devilishly. “Please. Don’t hurt my children” your father begged, your mother was now in tears as she looked at you, your lips were bleeding after Alecto slapped you. Thinking that would shut your mouth.

“Please” Your mother now looking at you apologetically, you just got home after getting a letter that your mother was ill, you got permission from school and this is what greeted you. 

“Let her go. I beg you” your mother looking at Amycus, her eyes pleading, the color drained out her face. “Alright, we’ll let your children go. But after the story telling” he smirked and looked at you. 

“You know, your father and mother, they were born in very influential and powerful families, pure blooded people. Until later on they were recruited to be on the Dark Lord’s side of course, they agreed but on one condition, no dark mark.” He looked at the forearms of your parents, true enough, there were none. 

“The Dark Lord believed they were loyal subjects,” Alecto brushed the tip of her wand to your jaw, her nostrils flared at the sight of you. “But after a while, it seemed like the enemies always knew what was up on our sleeves. We tried to contact them again, but they were-poof! Gone” she laughed like a mad woman and it immediately changed to her teeths grinding. She threw a spell at random spots of your house that made loud noises, glass shattering, portraits falling, and many more.

Your shouts being overwhelmed by the chaotic noise. After a while, the noise stopped, “Don’t worry about little Theodore, he’s sleeping soundly. No, we didn’t kill the poor child, we're not murderers” Amycus giggled. You felt your stomach turned upside down, you were disgusted by them. 

“Crucio!” Amycus pointed his wand to your parents, you screamed and screamed as you watched them wince in pain, their veins pulsing in their necks, trying their best to breathe. 

“STOP! PLEASE STOP!” You cried, your face went pale as you saw their faces. Your parents are in pain and you cannot do anything. “Please” you whispered, head facing the floor, you felt the energy drain from you. 

“Get your brother Y/N” your mother mouthed to you, the siblings not paying attention to them. She was still in pain, your eyes were blurry from the tears but you still nodded. You secretly reached for a big chunk of shattered glass and swiftly cut the rope that was tied to your wrist. 

It was as fast as lightning that you got into Theodore’s room. You locked the door, it was nice that every room in this house was chanted with an anti-apparition charm except for the living room. You picked up the sleeping boy and headed to his wardrobe. You heard banging on the door but you chose to not be distracted by it. 

The second wooden wardrobe looked normal on the outside, but it was not, it was an emergency door, while carrying your brother in your arms you also grabbed the emergency bag. Your parents always had an emergency plan and you never thought you would need it. 

Stepping inside the wardrobe, you wanted to go back, but you can’t use magic, you don’t even know enough spells to defend your family from skilled killers. 

You wiped your tears and continued. The sunlight immediately hit your face as soon as you stepped in the back of your house. With all the hesitation you have, you run, not minding the bag that has a dangling keychain where it says “With you, always and forever”. 

You hated the idea that they might have expected this, that this is what they are meant to be, that this was meant to happen. Because as you run away from your comfort, from your home, you hear the words that made tears race down your face, words that made your throat dry, words that made you hug your brother tighter. The words, 

Avada Kedavra.

“What?” you stood up from your seat as soon as Remus, Sirius, and Emmeline Vance revealed to you that your parents were double agents, they were with the Dark Lord for information and were really loyal to the Order of the Phoenix. 

“When we heard what happened to them it was too late. Y/N I’m sorry” Emmeline went up to you and embraced you, she taps your back as you cried on her shoulder. You knew your parents weren’t bad people, you just needed confirmation, somehow a needle was removed from your chest, somehow you felt relieved, knowing that they fought for the many, for the good. It was a cry of relief but at the same time there was pain in there, you finally cried after weeks, it felt satisfying.

“I’m sorry” you worded out while you fidgeted your fingers, again, you four were sitting at the table. You know, you have to tell them. Tell them that you were forced to get the dark mark, that you didn’t have any choice, tell them that they have your brother. Tell them.

“Something is bothering you. Tell us” Remus said, your eyes darted on the glass that was on the table, you were uneasy, your hand was sweating and the voices in your head were starting again. Tell them. Don’t tell them. They would help you. They will hate you. It was so noisy, so loud, so crowded, you can’t control it. You were so in your head that you didn’t realize you broke the glass just by staring at it. They all flinched. 

“I- I should go” you got up and was about to head to the door, but Sirius was fast enough to block the door while Emmeline held your wrist, “You can tell us Y/N, no one can hurt you here” she smiled to you, you sighed and slowly pulled the hem of your sleeve. 

And there they saw it, fear crossed their faces first but after a second, sadness took over. “No” Sirius started shaking his head, trying to deny what he just saw, “When did you get that?” Remus asked, his eyes fixed on your forearm. “Summer” you answered. You heard Emmeline sniffed and Sirius turned his back on you, his shoulders shaking. 

“Are you all crying right now?” you felt relieved that they didn’t hate you, or pushed you away. “Yes” they three answered, covering their faces with their hands. You wanted to chuckle, seeing grown ups cry, it was definitely not something you anticipated.

"You were just a child" Remus whispered but loud enough to fill the room, and there you realized, yeah, you were.

“They have my brother” you confessed as soon as they calmed down. “They blackmailed you?” Sirius asked while he wiped his nose with a tissue, you nodded as an answer. “Typical” his expression was dulled. 

“You have to work with us Y/N. Let us help you” Sirius said and they all looked at you, waiting for your answer. “We will save you and your brother” they smiled at you, their smile had hope. That’s why you gave them the answer you knew was right. “Yes. I will work with you” your eyes gleamed, suddenly, you weren’t alone. It felt good. 

Then, you told them all the information you got. Every.single.detail. 

“Thank you sir Dobby” you flashed your teeth to the elf beside you as you two arrived at Hogsmeade. “Sir? Dobby likes that very much” the corners of Dobby’s mouth turned up. You giggled seeing his happy smile. 

“You better go now Dobby, freedom awaits you” and so he did, he disappeared before your eyes after taking a look at your S.P.E.W. badge.

You walked now to Hogwarts, it was not that far and you could use a little time to think before you were greeted again by the smiles and laughs of people at the castle. Probably congratulating Cedric for saving Cho. 

Hogsmeade was not silent, there were still people but not that many during Hogsmeade weekend trips, you did want to buy something but it seems like you didn’t bring any money with you. You wished that you should’ve asked the twins for a few sickles, they obviously had some. 

Your eyes explored every store you passed as you walked, it felt carefree just walking to Hogsmeade freely, no students around, no yellings and such, it was just a fine afternoon. You didn’t notice that you spent hours at the Grimmauld Place, it was a nice chat with them and sooner, few arrived, such as Kingsley Shacklebot, and the new auror Nymphadora Tonks, she was fun to be with, especially given that she’s a metamorphmagus, that would be extremely cool and helpful at the same time. 

The sky seemed to be clear, you breathed in and shutted your eyes, the wind must have taken that as a cue to blow you, unconsciously, you smiled, freely, not forced, not fake, the smile that you didn’t even notice until a voice made you open your eyes. 

“I miss seeing that smile” 

In front of you was the man you love, the man you dreamt of everyday, the man you decided to save, the man that has grey captivating eyes, chiseled jaw, and a stupid smile that will melt you. 

Before you could even register that he was in front of you, he pulled you into a hug, tighter than ever, you wanted to go away from him, you wanted him to let you go, but your body said otherwise, because you wrapped your arms around his waist. Feeling his warmth. Feeling Cedric.

“Please don’t disappear like that again. I was so worried. Don’t do that again love. I don’t want to lose you” he muttered during your embrace, that's when you registered what was happening.

“No, no, no” you pushed him and took a step back. Your eyes pierced him, you didn’t know what to feel. You were confused, and by the looks of it, he was too. 

“Y/N- “ he was pacing, his brows knitted and he washed his face with his hands. It was always his move to show frustration. 

“Fuck.” he said and stopped, he stared at you and started saying things that made your stomach filled with butterflies, it made you feel bittersweet too. You still didn’t know what to feel.

“Y/N, I know you didn’t cheat on me, I know that decision we made during the night of Christmas was pure rubbish, and I don’t have any relationship with Cho. She likes my friend, and I was just helping her, she was also helping me…" he bites his lower lip, "to get back to you. That’s why I was shocked when she was the one I had to save. We were both confused, we don’t like each other" he continued.

"I miss you Y/N, you know that I would choose you over and over again because you’re my home, you’re my comfort, and I didn’t know what to do when you suddenly disappeared from my life. I also know how you can disappear anytime because of You Know Who, but I don’t care. I love you and I want to be by your side even now, I don’t want to protect you because I know you don’t need that but you need someone by your side, supporting you, and I want to be that person, I should be that person Y/N. I don’t want to regret anymore” Cedric’s eyes were filled with tears as he talked. It broke your heart seeing him like this. 

“Ced” you slowly walked to him and held his face with one hand, his eyes closed and squeezed your hand, “I’m sorry. I love you too but it was the only way, they would hurt you. And I can’t imagine myself being the reason for your pain” your eyes getting moisty. 

“How about you, weren’t you already in pain?” his eyes just looking at you, you two didn’t care about the location you're in, because in this moment you and Cedric only mattered. 

"I can manage" you smiled despite both of your tears flowing down, "Liar" he pulled you and buried your head on his chest. Your hearts beating in sync, you didn't know if this was the right thing to do. But if you choose to be happy, if you choose the choices your parents made, then maybe, you can die without any regrets, you can die happily, knowing that you lived your life. 

"Let's not do that anymore hmm?" Cedric strokes your hair while you just stand there, feeling and smelling him. He was so addicting.

Your nod was the answer. 

Maybe you can save your brother and yourself at the same time. Maybe there's still a future, a bright one, waiting for you. Not just sacrifices, heartbreak, and death. Don't get lost in the dark they say, but the dark was your friend, and it won't let you get lost. 

[obeiii-mee]

Heya!

Jealousy imagines for the brothers because the idea just kinda popped in my head.

(Btw, thanks for all the likes, y’all are amazing and I can’t describe how grateful I am!!!)

————————————

Jealousy Imagines for the Brothers:

Lucifer:

-This bitch....

-First of all, he will never, in a million fucking years, admit that he is jealous

-He basically thinks he’s hot shit and that jealousy is way below him

-Once, Mammon mentioned that time Lucifer saw a demon randomly flirting with you and went apeshit. Lucifer proceeded to punch Mammon in the gut

-He doesn’t easily get jealous but the idea isn’t exactly foreign to him

-It would take a lot to make him insecure and I mean a lot

-But once he’s reached that stage, it will be even harder to stop him from creating a scene

-Or something 10 times worse

-Though he usually uses the tactic of ‘if I stop this conversation and drag her away this will stop being a problem’

-As I said, it takes an awful lot to rile him up like that

-He would prefer to keep things civic for not only his and Lord Diavolo’s sake, but yours too

-However, he’s a fucking demon so that might prove to be a bit of a dilemma

-Jealousy sex 100% afterwards without doubt

-“What’s that? You think I’m jealous? Hmm, what foolish idea. Discard the thought immediately.”

Mammon:

-He will immediately throw a fit

-A straight up temper tantrum

-Like who the fuck does this guy think he is??

-Does he really think he can steal you away from the GREAT MAMMON??!

-Tries to calm himself down and hints to the person that you are taken by grabbing your hand

-If his brothers seem him act up in public he will never hear the end of it

-Is he going to glare at the person? Yes, definitely.

-Is he going to mouth threats to them? Well, maybe

-The demon places a hand on your shoulder

-Oh hell to the fucking no

-Game over asshole

-How dare the shithead lay a hand on his beloved human?

-Have I mentioned Mammon is very possessive and greedy when it comes to you?

-He calmed down after you dragged him away and now he’s pulled you closer to him because bby is insecure now

-Will deny being jealous for a while before admitting, embarrassed at this point and very red in the face

-Just reassure him with a kiss and he’ll go back to his normal bravado

-“N-no! I...well I-...I just didn’t like the way he was lookin’ at you. Prick obviously doesn’t know his place. Ya looked uncomfortable too. Luckily for you, the GREAT MAMMON was there to interfere....but uh, stay close to me for the rest of the day, will ya?”

Levi:

-Well, this one’s pretty easy to agitate when it comes to jealousy

-He even gets kinda pissy when you give one of his brothers more attention than you give him

-That usually starts up a whole other set of problems

-He doesn’t get angry mainly

-Insecure and feels sorry for himself

-He pities himself really, because he knows you can do better than him

-Gets a hell of a lot quieter

-He thinks it’s entirely possible you will find someone better than him (even though he’s one of most powerful demons in DevilDom??)

-He should return to normal if you just give him an appropriate amount of affection

-Doesn’t really deny being jealous because he knows it’s obvious

-pls hug him and appreciate his existence

-Will maybe get a bit clingier

-He doesn’t really lash out at anyone

-He prefers to keep things peaceful cuz the only knowledge of fighting he has is from video games and anime

-Things may go south if the person breaches a certain boundary

-Give him time to cool off and he will come back apologising for causing a scene

-“I’m sorry MC, it’s just not fair you know? I don’t really have much of a chance compared to my brothers for example or anyone else. You won’t leave me though, right? Promise?”

Satan:

-Well fuck

-Whoever tries to get on with you is already into some deep shit the moment he looks at you the wrong way

-I like to think Satan can tell when one of those flirts is about to come along and ruin his day

-And he prepares himself mentally from ending their existence right there and then

-It’s a tough battle for him

-He wants to stay calm and formal

-But at the same time fuck that

-If the dude doesn’t stop after a few polite attempts at telling him to back off

-Shit gets serious

-You’re a bit scared to step in while Satan is unleashing all his fury on to them

-He doesn’t even have to go into his demon form to be intimidating

-You normally consider calling Lucifer up because you’re concerned he will destroy at least three buildings with his outbursts

-Funny thing is, after that happens, he goes right back to being his usual self and continues speaking to you as if nothing happened

-Whenever he’s jealous and trying to keep his anger in you can see the figurative smoke coming of his ears

-Won’t dent being jealous but he will phrase it weirdly

-“That? That was just me taking care of a nuisance. Some people should really start learning to keep their hands to themselves. Anyway...”

Asmo:

-The least likely to get jealous

-He is fucking fabulous and he knows it

-Why would he be insecure about anyone else??

-I mean, he’s got people complimenting him all the time, why would it bother him when the same happens to you?

-If anything he will steadily agree with the person

-He obviously likes showing you off and it’s kind of an ego boost for him whenever other people praise you

-Cuz you are literally dating him and he’s got such a marvellous partner

-If someone flirts with you and you are uncomfortable though...

-Well that’s another story completely

-Definitely not the type to get into fights but subtly threatening someone can work wonders

-Not to mention he has a great reputation and he could easily make the demon flirting with you an outcast

-He doesn’t even feel bad because your happiness matters a lot to him even if it may seem like all he thinks about is lewd things

-Not much to say about him, he doesn’t exactly get jealous

-“You should always tell me if you are feeling uncomfortable MC. I want you to trust me and I want to you to feel safe and loved. In more ways than one~”

Beel:

-He doesn’t really understand the concept of flirting so seeing someone else hitting on you goes over his head at first and he dismisses it as something unimportant

-That doesn’t mean he likes it

-Seeing someone else say suggesting things to you rubs him the wrong way and he doesn’t really get why

-He would linger nearby, kind of considering eating the guy but then figuring you would be upset with him

-He doesn’t want to start anything but he feels this need to come over and see what’s up

-Especially if you look uncomfortable

-He either tells the guy politely to go away or he picks you up and carries you away

-When you ask him what’s up, he’s pretty honest about it

-Will try to say at first that he just wanted to eat something with you because he hadn’t seen you eat much that day and figured you were hungry but that obviously didn’t work

-Hold his hand as reassurance and he won’t think about it for too long

-“I’m sorry MC, I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation. I just felt a bit upset I guess and I wanted the two of us to go have a snack together.”

Belphie:

-The only time he can be persuaded to do something productive is if you are coming along too

-That includes going to R.A.D

-He’s pretty pissed at the amount of guys flirting with you but he knows you can handle yourself

-You don’t exactly need him in situations like these even though he’s there, napping on your shoulder

-Sometimes though, people are too fucking persistent for their own good

-You two hang out a lot during free periods and breaks

-With him sleeping against you while you eat or something

-So the school’s flirts figure at this point it’s fair game

-You thought he hated being woken up?

-Try waking him up by loudly hitting on his partner and that will instantly make him go into extremely pissed off and sleepy boyfriend mode

-It’s kinda cute if you ignore the obvious itch he has to strangle the person flirting with you

-He doesn’t want to do much because laziness but if things get out of hand, he’s pretty OK with killing someone for you

-Doesn’t even care Lucifer will scold the shit out of him afterwards

-Will not admit he was jealous

-He will imply he was worried and a bit insecure before insulting you because that’s just who Belphegour is

-“He was obviously making you uncomfortable and because you’re too much of a dumbass and weakling to do anything about I stepped in. Don’t let people walk over you idiot.”

~Al

(Ps: send in requests I’m bored as shit)