#my brain: ... aite i'm out

[royalnavyart]

how peaceful sleep is

your head next to his

no silence or fear

only him

[sonnet009games]

Hi! I know you can't confirm or deny any of this but I need to get my incoherent rambling theories out somewhere or I'll go insane xD

Sooo in chapter 1 the fiend demon tells Flea "Don't tell my father, don't tell your mother" I glossed over this bit the first time I played but with Ilyana calling Flea brother in chapter 3 it takes on a whole new meaning. People have been theorising that Flea's "mother" might be a bigshot in pandemonium but my theory is that this "mother figure" is more figurative, the "mother of incubi" just like there is (presumably) a "father" of the fiends or something. Maybe they are individually responsible for the actions of different types of demons on earth? Lolol this might be so wrong but it's fun theorising

We also get this quote from Flea in chapter 1 "Yeah, you've got me at you're mercy and you don't know what to do with me. Story of my fucking life" and this quote from Ilyana in chapter 3 "Other planebounds like us who see this not as a punishment but as an opportunity". It's pretty certain ait this point that Flea was banished from Pandemonium but the real mystery is for what crime ? That last quote in particular is veeery interesting regarding Flea's backstory in Pandemonium I feel 👀 I might be pulling at strings here but you mentioned in an ask that Flea has always been a little different and he is (despite trying very hard not to appear so) at heart quite selfless and kind when he wants to be so I wonder if that has anything to do with it ?

You notice the nubs of what might have been wings" 👀 So there might be different kinds of incubi/succubi or whatever and maybe they don't all have wings but if not...I wonder if Flea also has wings, and whether they were cut off possibly as a part of the punishment that comes with being "planebound" ?

Ooh also for the last scene of chapter 3, I don't think Flea is jealous in that he's possessive, I think he's jealous in that he's (subconsciously at this point probs lol) scared of losing this newfound connection with MC and this manifests as posturing and inserting himself into the situation that's making him jealous to...idk make his presence known ? (Cue the "I'm a fixture around these parts" to Ted jsjsk) Which now that I think of it, he only says if you push him away 🧐

If you couldn't tell Incubus lives rent free in my brain rent free 🤣

Even though I can't comment on a lot of this, just know that I loved reading it!

I will say, you'll get some answers in the next chapter.

[shiftingconfessions]

I shifted to Outlast: the Whistleblower DLC. It was FUCKED and I'm gonna try to fit the whole story in here.

Ok, so picture this: I'm on my sister's couch. Her stepson is on the other couch. It's 11 at night, but he's playing CoD, so I'm aitting up waiting for him to go to bed so I can go to bed (i cant sleep with too much stimulation like a loud game). Suddenly, AS IN ALL I DID WAS BLINK, and I'm suddenly Waylon Park, camcorder in hand and all. I immediately realize where I am as soon as I see the bloodied, patchwork wedding dress, complete with a severed head on top of the mannequin. I'm about to piss myself already at this point, AND THEN I HEAR EDDIE GLUSKIN AND HIS GODDAMN SINGING.

Immediately, I hide under a table, back to the world as I pray to every god I can think of to make it out alive. I'm shaking and tearing up but trying not to cry cuz that'd be a dead fucking giveaway. I managed to hold it together until I hear him walk past, but I almost instantly started crying after- which then caused him to double back around. Silence.

Then I hear him crouch down behind me. I feel his eyes burning holes into my back. Then i feel him drag me out by my tank top straps (apparently, under the prison jumpsuit is a black tanktop in that fuckign universe). And all I can think is: "GODDAMN, HIS HANDS ARE FUCKING COLD".

He sits cross-legged and puts me in his lap. One arm pins my arms down because I'm still shaking (i felt the knife in the hand helping keep me pinned), and the other hand started playing with my hair. I think I heard him start to say something- what, I may never know- when suddenly, I blink again and I'm back home.

Despite it feeling like an only 5 minute encounter, it had been several hours, since it was about 3:30 AM when I checked the time. My step-nephew was passed out on his couch. I proceeded to have a silent mental breakdown.

I have never told my family any of this. I think I'm afraid to, honestly. But at the same time.. I'm almost glad it happened. What better way to prove to me that shifting is real than to fucking brand it into my brain with a near death experience? Lol anyway thanks for listening

.

[forthedancingandthethriving]

Arle: A moment in the sun sounds awful to me.

Arle: I would rather have a moment in the moon, the superior of the sky circles.  

Shantae: .. please don't ever refer to them as 'sky circles' again.

----

A!Andrew: If I'm dead, what are you doing here?

Aite: I forgot to give you an ass-whooping, so I came back.

----

Saiko: There's plenty of fish in the sea. But you know what else there is? Trash. There is a lot of trash in the sea.

Meggy: Not sure if you got cheated on or you're just trying to raise awareness about pollution.

----

SMG4, to SMG3: What’s in the suitcase?

SMG3: Vodka.

SMG4: You brought an entire suitcase full of vodka?

SMG3: No, there are mixers as well. Im not a savage.

----

Root: Tired of everyone telling me I've 'lost too much blood' and 'need to go to the hospital'. It's my severe head injury not yours. Stay out of it.

----

SMG4: Do you believe in true love?

SMG3: I believe you’re a true pain in my ass.

----

Ozymandias: You punched me in the face!

Leto: You bit my tail!

Ozymandias: You punched me in the face!

Leto: YOU BIT MY FUCKING TAIL!

----

Nimbus: Do I look nice?

Ambrosia: You look like you're about to set someone on fire.

Nimbus: Perfect.

----

Cursor: Are you ever going to listen to me?

Lag: Possibly.

Cursor: When?

Lag: When you’re right.

----

Ozymandias: 'Revenge' sounds so mean.

Ozymandias: That's why I prefer to call it 'returning the favour'.

----

SMG10: Are you alright? you didn't sleep at all last night.

Tulip: I got a solid eight minutes.

Tulip: Not consecutively but still it is fine. You're not even that blurry.

----

Vee: So... what’s going on?

Elanore: You want the long version or the short version?

Vee: The short one.

Elanore: Everything sucks.

Vee: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

----

Ozymandias: How dare you mock me in such a manner!

Root: Well, then how would you like me to mock you? I take requests!

----

Nimbus: Ew. What kind of tea is this?

Tulip: I boiled gatorade.

---

Laharl: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.

----

Abyssal: Sometimes, the best way to scare your opponent is just to walk straight at them menacingly. That way, they can't even tell you have a brain the size of a walnut.

----

Root: *flicks out her tongue and tastes the air*

Lil Coding: Well damn, does it taste good?

----

Leto: You have two choices. One: I fling you into a bottomless pit. Two: I curse you.

Queen Melody: Actually, there's a third choice.

Leto: There is?

Melody: Yes. I could beat you to a bloody pulp.

Leto: ...I see. And which of the three will you choose?

Melody: Guess.

----

Tulip, to the Elanore and Tama: Remember to get something to eat, drink lots of water, and get plenty of sleep!

Ash: When was the last time you did any of that?

Tulip: This isn’t about me.

----

Plurality, after arriving at the Mushroom Kingdom: Day one of eating every plant I see.

Plurality: Something bad is happening.

----

SMG3, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti caramel macchiato with seven espresso shots?

Saiko, behind him: Fuck's sake, dude, just do cocaine.

[tokillamockingbird427]

God I'm so funny. Had a breakdown like monday or whatever and my mom is being supportive so now I'll feel bad if I just become a vegetable and or die, so now I gotta plan shit to do with my life...

I'm making daily goals and shit so I can feel successful and less shitty. Affectionately called "Quests." Mostly what it's been is applying for jobs. Not even mad that I haven't gotten a call back yet. I even have side quests like draining my water bottle and exercising for like five minutes.

Today I decided my main quest is revising my life plan, so I'm taking the dead corpse that is the old one and Frankensteining a new one.

So far all i've got is:

Join the Army, go through BT.

????

Die.

Like bruh. Details pls. I gotta figure out what job I want in the army so I can prep for AIT. There's (potentially) a LARGE stretch of time between BT and Die. We gotta do something there man.

My brain stoutly refuses to elaborate. So it doesn't WANT to die, but also LIVING is too hard, NON EXISTENCE is not possible!! Make a choice you lump of fat!

Also I'm maybe talking to a recruiter. I did a thing and now they're texting me but I feel like if I don't have answers for the inevitable "What are your goals?" I'm immediately a failure so I just left them on read. I feel bad. But also they're getting paid for this. But also my mom wants me to succeed and I feel bad for not trying as hard as I maybe should. Even though I am trying very hard.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[no0dlru]

Which language are you learning?

German. And brushing up on some Latin from school, but mostly German. Started learning it in 2015, then lost the motivation for *stares forlornly into the middle distance* 8 years, and just started again recently.

(Incoming rant about duolingo)

Initially, it was for better understanding of music and literature. Now, it's because I learnt enough in like 1 month in 2015 that ppl keep saying "oh, Marina knows some German," or outright "Marina speaks German!", while I'm replying to English-speakers jokingly asking "Sprechen sie Deutsch?" with "nur ein Bischen", and the whole thing is just a source for embarrassment. Feel it'd just be easier to learn the damn thing.

Duolingo used to be shit at teaching grammar (it still is - just in different ways), so I sort of gave up. I tried looking into other sources to wrap my head around syntax, conjugation, etc, but that was often very dry. I don't mind dry language learning - beginning the Latin course, I realised how much Latin grammar had stuck with me from rote memorisation in school - but trying to grasp complexities without any guidance from a fluent speaker or any implicit, immersive input just felt insurmountable.

So yeah, I'm back on it with the implicit method they're going for now. It's aite, I guess, but I still feel like I'd need external resources to get anywhere meaningful with it. It's still "teaching" me hundreds of words I've already known for 8 years.

The vocab isn't the issue, I soak words up pretty easily, but the same implicit method I'd generally praise also strings the grammar out so damn slowly that it's just patronising and unhelpful. I got to unit 5 this morning, but it's another 8 units until I "learn" positioning words like "neben", "unter", "darauf" etc. Which I learnt in 2015. 9 units (which will most likely take months and months) until I can form the past tense. Their optimisation and streamlining of how language learning "works" can rely on as much AI and scientific research as they like, but I know how my brain works, and I know I learn best when there aren't whole chunks of a skill walled off. I'm a baptism of fire kinda gal. If the point is naturalistic language learning, how natural is it to entirely avoid the past tense? It's fucking annoying ngl.

[toribookworm22]

Find The Word

Lovely @writeintrees tagged me in this very fun game. Thank you so much for bringing me in!!

I'm sending it forward to: @writing-and-trying @eli-writes-sometimes @heartsaarchive @drabbleitout @thatndginger

Search one/some of your writing for these 5 words: SAVIOR, IDEA, BACKPACK, IVY, & GO.

No pressure; play if you want to, and to anyone else, consider this your honorary tag.

My words and finds are under the cut.

All my love,

~ toribookworm

My words were: cross, push, grey, run, & pray. And except for pray, I was able to find all of them in my currently untitled secondary series. (Pray is from a short story titled Adenrore based in the same universe though).

CROSS(ES)

“Darn.” Mace pulls out the chair beside her. “Rolyn, she beat us to it.”

His boyfriend crosses over to where Lulu and I are, immediately searching the cabinets. “That’s too bad, love.”

Mace leans in toward May almost conspiratorially. “That sounded placating. Did that sound placating to you?”

PUSH

Because how dare she.

Not know information or finally contact us or take too long to get over the wall of bricks she had for a brain-- though those all make me angry, too-- but how dare she go to Edward first. Because her leaving may have been the last push for us to splinter, but it was the first punch of darkness, too. Maybelle left and Edward spent three years looking for a mom who was already dead. How dare she keep taking swings when he’s still down.

GREY

They’re silver.

Silver and catching the light and grinning and framed in a face paler than I remember, sharper too. But they’re silver. Silver where they used to be grey and I’m staring too hard to hear what he’s saying, but suddenly there’s applause and he’s leaving and-

RUN

She looks lovely first thing in the morning when he hair’s matted and her breath absolutely reeks. She looks lovely fresh off a mission with sweat clinging to her skin and stress radiating from her every pore. She looks lovely when her face goes all red from yelling at me and when snot continues to run from her nose for hours after she cries and every minute in between. She was lovely at 15 and she’ll be lovely at 50 and Esme can never understand that if she thinks Lu looks lovely in the earrings.

PRAY

“Impressive, yes, Uba?”

“Abi-Tjhan… This is beautiful. Ait, Abi. Umpfe.”

The Abi smiled at Lanissa’s use of their tongue. “Who taught you Roric, Uba?”

“She even has an accent, Amba,” Jybn piped up, leading them towards the far side of the crystal cavern. There, dwellings were carved into the stone, waiting for their people to return to them. Lanissa could only pray that her Delegation never found their way and destroyed this beauty, too.

“My brother. He’s the one on the translator, too. He’s very good at languages.”

“I would love to meet him someday.”

Lanissa didn’t think that was likely, considering the circumstances.

[obsidiancreates]

Clash of the Mutanimals Liveblog

God I hate the word "Mutanimals". Doesn't flow well at all.

Oh god it's the Viziosos goons- thank goodness, it's Tigerclaw, I can handle Tigerclaw.

SLASH YAY

LEATHERHEADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Can't say I'm upset about Tigerclaw freezing Rockwell. I fucking hate Rockwell.

NO PIGEON PETE OH NO- oh good Leatherhead saved him

Guys I say let Tigerclaw have Rockwell- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEY TOOK SLASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO OH GOD IS THE MIND CONTROL SERUM DONE?!?!?!?! IS THAT THIS EPISODE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Okay yeah so Crognard is fighting his friends, yeah the mind control serum is do- is that wizard Tom Kenny? Oh yeah that's totally Tom Kenny

MIKEY SAW THROUGH THE FOURTH WALL AGAIN OH NO

Raph did you have nightmares about Shredder and that's why you want to take him out.

"DID RAPH FINALLY BLOW A GASKET BECAUSE I'VE GOT SPARES" PFFFFFT BUT ALSO HOW LONG DO YOU GUYS THINK DONNIE'S BEENW AITING TO TURN ONE OF THEM INTO A CYBORG

OH HIT LEATHERHEADDDDDDDDDDDDDD WOUNDED LEATHERHEADDDDDDDDDDDD HUG HIM BETTER MIKEY HEAL HIM WITH HUGS

Pete stop touching shit

Leo your feelings about Slash had nothing to do with what Raph said, weird lead-in dude

When have you fai- Tigerclaw, like, all the time.

Shredder I hate you so much. You don't want your daughter back, you want a slave. I hate you.

OH EW OH EW NO NO NO OH GOD BRAIN WORMS MIND CONTROLLING BRAIN WORMS I SAW THIS IN CLONE WARS THERE WAS A WHOLE THING ABOUT THIS IN CLONE WARS OH GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD NOOOOOOOOOOO

I love when they're scared and their eyes just become White Discs.

Okay so this it totally a setup, yeah? Yeah.

YES FONNIE USING THE BLADE YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS LET MY BOY KILL

April. Time to pull out the Psychic Powers. They have BRAIN WORMS

Ohhhh Mikey notices? Perceptive boy. His regular eyeballs saw what April's inconsistent powers couldn't.

So... are the worms repressing memories? They don't have total control? Or is this an act and the worms are forcing this act?

FUCK SLASH BROKE SPLINTER'S FACE OH GOD

God I hate Rockwell

LEATHERHEADDDDDDDD TO THE RESCUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OH NO I FORGOT SLASH WAS A SNAPPING TURTLE

I hate Rockwell so fucking much.

NO HE'S GONNA GET RAPH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHREDDER'S GONNA CONTROL RAPHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MIEKY AND DONNIE WILL STA- YEAH MIKEY LISTEN TO SPLINTER AND GO GET RAPH BACK

YAYYYYYYYYYYYY THE SHELLRAIZER IS BACK

Well that was short-lived.

RAPHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO THEY TIED HIM DOWN NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO O oh I thought Stockman said "Racist is futile" and was deeply confused

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT GOT RAPH OH FUCK OH FUCK NO NO NO NO NO

FORGET THE PLA- LEO!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH RAPH BABY OH NO THIS IS ALL BAD THIS IS ALL BAD- NEW HOME?!?!?!?! I'LL FUCK YOU UP SHREDDER

NOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE FUCKING BOW TO ME COMMAND NOOOOOOOOOOO RAPH SUCCUMBED

Oh Shredder I don't know about asking Raph to No Mercy you. Well no actually maybe keep telling him that.

Donnie? Why'd you enter with a Disappointed Mom With Her Hands On Her Hips pose? That's not very intimidating sweetie.

Oh okay Leo is cool with Murder now. One kidnapped brother is all it takes for him to be like "I want bloodshed actually"

DONNIE YOU MUST GET THAT HE'S MIND CONTROLLED- WHY DID SHREDDER NEED TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU

NOOOOO RAPH HAS SHREDDER CLAWS ONNNNNNNNNNN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So this "mind control" is really more like Mental Alteration than flat-out control.

YESSSSSS PETE VS STOCKMAN- fuck I hate Rockwell so much he ruins this whole episode for me

Oh okay, I guess we're trying Insults as the breaker now

Okay show, is Raph anger good or bad? Pick a la- EWWWWWWWW HE VOMITED THE WORM UP EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW oh it worked though

YES DONNIE RIP ROCKWELL A NEW ONE INSULT THAT FUCKER HE'S SO ANNOYING

Oh okay Slash doesn't get an insult montage then

SHREDDER HOW DO YOU WIN THIS WHAT ARE YOU DUDE THIS GUY AIN'T FUCKING HUMAN

YESSSSSSSSSS SLASH CRUSH THE BITCH

If The Kraang are gone how does Shredder keep getting FootBots?

Now I like Splinter again. Writers, please keep him nice.

Pfffffff I guess that was Raph's Affection Growl. He's like a feral cat who only knows Hissing and Growling but loves you anyways

Season 3 started off super strong but once the Kraang got kicked it um... it's kinda meandering now... which... Season 2 also suffered from... I get the feeling this won't be one of those shows I finish and am like "Man, if only they did a couple more seasons." More like "Man, if only they'd used the seasons they had more effectively and wisely."

[kbnet]

When I wrote about Dr. Aite, I wondered if whether her next streams would let us better bracket her background and perspective.

The answer is yes: her opinion on the "decline and fall" versus "continuity and change" debate is blindingly Medievalist-brained. I feel confident saying this despite not having read any of the scholarship. Dr. Aite, in her attempt to argue against Petrarch's Manichean vision of the "dark ages," makes significantly stronger arguments in his favor than Petrarch did.

>the loss of Mediterranean urban culture is fine because you can go to church! >who needs state capacity? those Roman taxes just paid for infrastructure that you don't need anymore because you live in a hamlet and don't need no fancy aqueducts! please ignore the evidentiary base around this question >learned men in late antiquity cared less about Latin and Greek secular texts and preserved them less completely, and nobody else can have an opinion about this – no looksie-backsies!

???

I don't doubt that Dr. Aite would consider this a somehow careless or uncharitable interpretation of her words, and perhaps it is, but I'm a sympathetic listener, and this is how I understood certain segments of her argument.

I don't say this because I intend to weigh in, but because I find myself in the interesting position of being caught between two pop historians: Dr. Aite and Dr. Bret Devereaux, who treated of these questions in 2022. For my part, this is a fake dilemma because I know how to dispassionately integrate different sources into a probabilistic picture of the world – even if I don't do it well – but this is what I was talking about in my previous post. How would a dispute between popular sources play out among v-tuber fans? So far, the answer is "it wouldn't because nobody would particularly notice or care." Maybe that's for the best.

Anyway, Dr. Aite and Dr. Devereaux should totally do a Medievalists vs Classicists debate stream that just ends with them both complaining about the state of academic history.

[resmarted]

I feel like I could get offered the highest paying office jobs in the world and still want to work weekends with this cute barista girl whose eyes have captured my soul and will not release me any time in the foreseeable future. but also I need at least one very specific unrelenting crush to survive and when I have no one to fawn over my life becomes a meaningless void. and it's like bitch get a goal already. but also??? how does one even produce any meaningful art without a deeply painful unrequited love to obsess over or even if it's requited like I need a constant source of potential love to drown in lest I become a dead eyed work horse whose only life is career and accomplishments like how absolutely boring and unfulfilling. not that empty love is fulfilling. I should probably book more therapy appointments I don't think I'm going enough or figuring enough out and need like an intensive retreat of some sort to process the things happening in my brain. but also?? who has the time. also I miss having friends but have been burnt so badly by so many people that it's like well. guess I'll just relearn how to be a mummy. I wish they taught in school that healing is an endless journey and it sucks and it never ends literally ever your whole life you're just constantly healing and potentially redamaging old wounds and rehealing it's exhausting and no one prepares you for this no one is like aite check it you're going to spend countless years having to encounter the worst types of experiences and then it's up to you to repair the damage and if you don't you will suffer even greater consequences and in that process you start to lose all of the people who refuse to try and heal bc you're going to be on entirely different pages and journeys in life and it will be lonely and you will wish you could curl into an egg and crawl back into the womb and at some point you may even realize your entire life is a lie and the people you trusted to keep you safe were stealing from you the entire time and you have to figure out for yourself who is and who is not seeing you as a bounty to harvest and also you have to buy stupid shit like toilet paper and laundry detergent over and over again and also the human body is a prison that eventually breaks down and stops working no matter how well you treat it you can be the most physically fit 75 year old only to get into a car accident and be rendered a vegetable overnight and maybe there will be no one to take care of you and maybe society will throw you out and everything you were up until that point is a forgotten distant dream and you are only as worthy as your youth allows. like fuuuuck that dog

[thelunarpath]

hello!

I'm considering enlisting as a 35p reserve.

I came across your post about 35p and found it extremely useful and was wondering if you have any updates on life as a 35p?

My recruiter already told me my language will be Chinese, so I'm expecting it'll take long at DLI.

How was AIT and how is the workload?

Can I ask where you've been stationed since?

I'm a mom of 2 teenagers, so it's a big commitment I'm about to make, I just want to find as much info as I can before I sign the contract.

Thank you for your time.

Hello! I ended up reclassing to a 35G (Geospatial Imagery Analyst) but can still answer your AIT questions. I went almost 8 years ago so it might be a little different. If you're taking Chinese you will be there quite a while, I think around 18 months to 2 years depending on when you get a slot at the signals portion of training that comes after language school. And the homework will be heavy the whole time. Being a mom and going through DLI will be very, very challenging as well. I had 2 mothers in my class and they both failed and had to reclass. This doesn't mean you won't make it, but you'll need a very strong and understanding support system. I don't think either one of them did.

Monetary, California is a beautiful place to live though and there's so much to see and do. The cadre tend to be easier on the Soldiers because of their heavy workload and encourage you to get out and refresh your brain. You won't be allowed to drink though the whole time you are there. It's a shame since it's wine country.

I chose to reclass pretty early in my career so I can't speak much on how it's like working as a 35P. My best friend is a 35P (Russian) in the National Guard though. She didn't do her job unless she was deployed but she said she enjoyed it when she did.

If you're still interested in the Army but don't think you can swing the DLI workload, I love my job as a 35G and we make fantastic money in the civilian sector. I had job offers starting in the 6 figures but chose to stay in the Army for the retirement. A 35N is like a 35P but without the language and that could be a lucrative option as well.

Good luck!

[moonandstarlightsposts]

Urgh, bureaucracy am I right? Even magic can't escape from it! I think before he goes to sleep with Celica in his arms every night, he's very grateful for being able to meet someone as amazing as Celica~ Aite! I'm having so much thoughts about their kids now and I want to expand on them a little bit more. Like their personalities, appearance and stuff once I reblog out discussions! Are you done with your chores and errands for the day, honey?

Bureaucracy makes my brain go brrrr 😩

I sometimes think in Castin is a little spoon, because Celica definitely loves touch and hugging her husband with her arms and legs is her thing! Even on hot summer nights, when it's impossible to sleep cuddled up

I just have to go to the store and then I'm done for the day ^^"

[je0nghans]

Hello! I saw your post about the drama you were looking for and I'm pretty sure it's called Bromance ! It's on Netflix 😄

wait you fr?? wait i associated bromance with just constant making out damn my brain really just was like aite coffee boy and cancer girl got their own drama while the next 2 suck each others faces off and the yakuza exists

[yobwwrites]

"𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒃𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉.."

𝐹𝐴𝐿𝐿𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐵𝐴𝐶𝐾 𝑂𝑁 𝑀𝑌 𝐵𝐸𝐷, I tried to ignore the erection growing behind my sweats. This would’ve been my third time busting a nut to his nudes. I guess it was safe to say I had a little thing for this dude named, 𝑪𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒈𝒐. I wanted him so bad, and jacking off to his photos and imagining his 8.5 inside me was becoming a bit.... 𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑑.

Another Jack'd notification came in as I anticipated his next message.

I’m tired of staring at ya photos yo. I wanna feel sumthin…

Apparently he felt the same way as me. I smiled at my screen.

so what’s up?

I responded, almost instantly. I wasn’t sure where the boldness came from. Maybe the saying was true, you know, that the dick has a mind of its own.

Stop playing lol fr come see me…I’m tryna put something in ya tonight

Honestly, he was right. I was bluffing. This wouldn't be the first time he's asked to bust me down. I was just nervous. Although we had been talking on this app for months, I still didn't know him like that.

You there?

…..?

See..you ain’t ready smh lol

He responded, but he didn’t stop there. The messages kept coming as if he were taunting me. Pulling my nonexistent hoe card.

The last message he sent was a photo of him holding his erect dick. My mouth watered, imagining him invading my throat. Shit…

Where you at?!

I responded.

•

As the elevator went up to his floor, I imagined how he would smell and sound. Well, I was about to find out how he sounded right now as I dialed his number. We had exchanged numbers before my route here.

"Talk to me, shawty.." His voice, a deep timbre. He talked just like I expected—slow and country.

"I-I'm.." he had me tripping over my words. He chuckled, "you here?"

"..I'm heading up the elevator now.."

"Room 561.."

"Ok."

I walked down a few halls until I walked up on room 561. I knocked twice, then stood there waiting. The door flew open, revealing his 6”4 frame, standing in a yellow camo durag, white tank, and yellow gym shorts. I was 5'11, so he hovered over me, which turned me on more. His smooth brown skin glistened like the gold jewelry around his neck and wrist.

Melting, was the perfect word to describe me right now. The photos didn’t do him justice at all, he was more appealing in person. His wet rosy lips curled as he flashed his white teeth. I instantly recalled the time he told me he wanted to eat my ass. Staring at his lips had the mental picture at the top of my brain right now. Shit, it didn't make no sense to be this weak over a man.

"Wusaap?" He greeted, a contagious smile stretched across his face. He was clearly flaunting off his beautiful smile, I found it amusing and sexy.

Softly chuckling, "Hey.." I responded. He reached his long arms out, pulling me in for a hug. That's when I caught a whiff of him. Whew...he smelled so damn good. His body vibrated from laughter, "you aite?" He questioned, inviting me further into his hotel room.

Shrugging, "I'm good, I just never done this before." I responded, a half smile on my face.

"That's wassup, let me know that shit mine..." he responded, backing me into the nearest wall. He pressed his lips against mine. I actually hated kissing, but he was changing my mind. His lips were so soft and full. If my taste buds weren't playing tricks with me, he used some type of honey balm to moisture his lips, they were so sweet.

His tongue found a way into my mouth, I quickly pushed him away. He furrowed his eyes brows, a slight mug appearing on his face.

"Sorry..." I murmured, I could feel my face turning red.

He smiled, before running his tongue over his bottom lip. "You want a drank, it might relax chu...." he asked, walking the other direction.

"..I don't drink."

He stopped on his toes, shifting his gaze back to me. He furrowed his eyebrows together, creating a quizzical expression as if he didn't believe me. He wouldn't be the first. Most people in my age group didn't believe me when I told them I didn't drink or smoke.

I took a seat on the nearest couch and pulled out my phone. Nervous, I just stared at the screen. The scent began to change in the room, I noticed he was back in front of me with a blunt in his hand. He took a puff before offering me a smoke.

“No thanks."

"You don't smoke either?!"

"No, sorry." I chuckled. “I’m a little boring.”

"It’s coo..." he whispered, "your pureness kinda turns me on.."

"I didn't say I was pure.."

"Show me you ain't pure then.." he walked in front of me, his bulge appearing behind his shorts. He was indeed free-balling.

"Relax.." he leaned down, whispering in my face. I swear it sent my body and nerves in a frenzy. "And do what you came to do.." he continued taking off his tank, revealing his chiseled body.

A sudden willingness to take care of his needs overweighted me. I scooted to the edge of the couch, placing my hands on his exposed abs. I pressed my lips against his skin, laying small pecks until I reached his happy trail. Staring up at him for the approval, I rubbed against his bulge. He sipped his drink, staring down at me, intensely.

Mouth watering, I pulled his shorts down to his thighs, watching his dick jump out a inch away from my mouth. It was so pretty and long, I couldn't wait to wrap my lips around it.

He chuckled, "told you I been feenin' for you.."

The feeling was mutual. I wasted no time inserting my mouth on his dick, using one hand to stroke his shaft. His small moans brought me pleasure.

"Suck that shit, don't be scared..." following instructions, I deep-throated his dick. "Fuck...shawty.." grabbing my face, he started to fuck my throat until I couldn't take it anymore.  

Taking a few breaths, I stroked his wet dick. "Hold on..." he said taking a swig of his drink. I stared at him, confusingly. He poured the liquor from the glass on his dick. The expression on his face told me he was unapologetic about the mess he was making on the floor. I'm not sure the staff would feel the same. He stroked his dick, then shoved it back in my mouth. Moaning, I continued to stroke his dick with my lips.

He grabbed my face and kissed my lips as if he wanted a taste of himself. "Let me see that thick ass..." I bit my lip, raising from the couch. I pulled outta my hoodie, then my sweats, leaving me in my briefs. His eyes lit up as he stopped me from pulling out my underwear. He pressed his lips against my lips, gripping my ass cheeks with his one free hand. This time I kissed him back, returning the aggressive energy.

He chuckled, "you ready now?" "Mhmm." I responded, taking off my last piece of clothing. I watched him take another sip of his drink before sitting it on the nightstand. He lifted me from my feet and threw me on the bed, flaunting off his strength. I proceeded to get on all fours, arching my back.

"Shit, that thang fat. I ain't know you was holding all dat baby.."

I responded with alittle ass shake.

"Damn, shake that shit?" He smacked my butt, continuing to talk his noise.

"Are you just gonna talk?" I asked, growing tired of waiting.

His signature laugh filled the room, "Chill...let me do me. Just keep that ass up.."

I felt his large hands grip my ass cheeks, opening them so he could dig his warm tongue in my hole.

"Shit..." I moaned. He returned the moan, letting me know he enjoyed it too. He tongue fucked me for a few more minutes before standing to his feet. He reached inside the drawer pulling out a bottle of lube.

"Protection." I reminded him.

Sucking his teeth, he responded, "I know." His tone change let me know he was upset that I wouldn't let him go raw, but I didn't care. 

I stared at him, verifying that he opened the condom and put it on. He rubbed lube on his dick, then around and inside my hole. I could feel him inserting his length inside me as I tried to adjust to his size. He pulled out and slowly back in, warming me up for it. 

Once he saw me getting into it, he started putting in work. His long strokes were hitting that spot, I arched my back and pushed it back on him. He loved me matching his force.

"Shit.." he moaned. I continued to throw it back on him. "Yoo, chill." I knew he couldn't take it so I kept going faster.

He eventually stopped me, wrapping his hands around my waist to slow me down. He bent over, laying kisses on my back as I slowly pushed back on his dick again. "Fuck..." he whispered against my skin. I picked up the speed and he stopped me again.

"Chill with that shit shawty, you gon make me nut.." he stated, we both chuckled. 

He lifted his leg on the bed so he could crawl deeper in it. "Oh shit!” I tried to push him back, but he swiped my hand away, demanding me to take it.

So I did.

He squeezed my waist and drilled me down. I tried running, but his grip was tight. “Nah, keep that energy." he screamed, smacking my ass.

“Shit, Chy!”

"You like that?" He grabbed my neck, forcing me to keep my back arched as he pounded my insides. Goddamn, I knew I would be feeling this tomorrow.

"Fuck, nigga!!"

He laughed. I know he got pleasure hearing me scream. "What baby? I'm killing that shit huh?" He responded, I couldn't see his face but I could tell he was smiling.

"Mhmm." I moaned, trying to escape his grip. He smacked my ass. "Keep that shit up." He demanded, pushing me back into my previous position. "I'm trying.." I whimpered.

I felt something wrap around my neck, I grabbed my neck and noticed he wrapped his durag around my neck.

"You ready for this nut?" He asked, picking up his speed. I responded with a moan as he shot all over my ass and back...

[moonraccoon-exe]

(Sorry to clog up your asks again *merp*) I read your tags on the Loqi-Luche siblings fic ❤ and I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks there is some resemblance between them >w

GUMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! (ノ*°▽°*)

GASPS, our Lady of Corqi Gummy visited my inbox twice, THIS MUST MEAN GOOD DAYS ARE TO COME, I HAVE BEEN BLESSED ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ

Akdjadgjalñsfkdag, aah, don’t worry about “clogging up” my asks, I’m ALWAYS hyped to receive new ones!! And this one is personal, so it’s easy and fast to reply to, no worries :3

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASPS, THAT LOQI-LUCHE SIBLINGS FIC OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD

I’M STILL THINKING ABOUT IT AND MELTING HNJDHNJNJGH NJFHG

SERIOUSLY BUDDY, WHAT AN IDEA AAAAAAAAAAAH, IT’S SO AMAZING AND IT BLEW ME OFF MY CHAIR, HOLY MOOGLES.

As I said in the tags, the connection would have NEVER crossed my head, and I wouldn’t have seen the resemblance if it wasn’t for that fic! When I read who it was I had to stop reading and had a sudden moment of brain-freeze as I made the connection and then went OH MY HOLY FUCK, THEY DO LOOK ALIKE WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!! and proceeded to COLLAPSE

Seriously, that idea is BRILLIANT and I have no idea how you saw the resemblance so easily! Aaah, I’m still thinking and geeking out about it!

Imagine the possibilities. I mean, i know you already did, but I can’t stop thinking hnhnfghnfgnhgf.

How do you think Loqi reacted to Luche’s death? Or do you think he asked about him after the Fall of Insomnia, or waited until someone told him without him asking? Imagine them meeting in the battlefield. Sparring each other’s lives in secret, but not necessarily feeling any intimate brotherhood. Imagine the rumor of Luche having half-Niff-noble blood. Or the rumors about Loqi having a bastard Lucian brother. How they would hide them, how it would affect. 

AND THAT ENDING IN YOUR FIC UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGH OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD I’M STILL FAN-FLAILING ABOUT IT, IT’S SO GOOD AND ALL THE HANNHFSG AND HNASDJS AND YES

Luche you horrible thing. Would Luche one day blackmail Cor about it? Threaten? WHAT IF LUCHE PUT DOUBT IN COR TOO. 

LUCHE STOP YOU’LL RUIN THEIR RELATIONSHIP *smacks with a newspaper*

GASPS

YOU’RE GOING TO DIG A BIT MORE INTO THIS IDEA!?!?! :DDDDD

*SQUEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK*

IF YOU DO- HNHGNHFG- IT’S OKAY, THE WIPS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT ABANDONING THEM AND- AND KNOW THAT- IF YOU DO DECIDE TO CONTINUE THIS AU, I WILL

SO GODDAMN READ THE HELL OUT OF IT AND I WILL LOVE IT AND I WILL

HNHNFGHNFGH OH MY God Y eS thiS IS EXCELLENT, I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA, GODS BLESS YOUR- YOUR *CLINGS TO YOUR HEAD AND RUBS IT* YOUR WONDERFUL BRAIN FOR COMING UP WITH THIS. I LOVE THIS IDEA. SO. MUCH. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND OAKSDJKLADG JLKAFJ AIT’S /bRILLIANT/ AND I WOULD SO READ MORE OF IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Okay, oKAY, i’m gonna calm down because I’m FANRACCOOING AGAIN AND HNHGNG N FAHK- HNFDHNGD

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, whether you choose to write more about this idea or not, just know that I LOVE it so much!! You genius thing aah ;A;

Thanks a lot for dropping by, buddy, it made me happy and brought my feels for that fic out again and I hngnh fdgndfhhgfh  AAAAAAAAHHHHH

But yah, thank you for this ask and for that fic and idea! It’s brilliant and I loved it!!

I hope you’re having a MOST FANTASTIC day or night!!(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

[resmarted]

shaved 5 months worth of hair off my body. i miss it already.

deodorant made my armpits sting like a motherfucker! it's one of those wet gel ones which i don't normally buy but never replaced when they sent the wrong ones and now my pits r burning.

watched snl return in real time. ice spice is everything.

learning things and things

behind on work

need my computer fixed

may livestream astro dice readings for funsies

deeply bored and dissatisfied with this life lately

can cure it for a day here and there but nothing sticks and there is a impenetrable emptiness that is difficult to soothe or satiate in any meaningful way

saw some old friends from hs on fb and realized i don't want kids. they look twice my age and life has really beaten them down. assuming this is in part due to also being shitty people in general.

kids won't be a magic fix obv i can art away the sadness but i can't backspace on a whole birth

unless...

anyway thinking of accepting a date to distract myself from a current state of attachment but don't want to end up feeling lonelier in the presence of someone else.

also what a weird concept to see someone new in order to get your mind off someone else

but also i wish all my exes would at least try this same method instead of disobeying my wishes

none of them are who is taking over my brain btw

i like myself. i am very fun to hang out with. i can be with just me all day every day. if you were me you would get it, i'm a blast. it's the occasional pang of yearning for someone to meld my brain together with that gets me.

also any time i start seeing someone i need extensive breaks and i will probably still need my own apartment ten years into a marriage. like mom needs her alone time.

i made a vegan spinach and artichoke dip and it was aite. i think food in general is losing it's taste due to the bouts of stress and nervosa getting me all wound up

i hate this version of me btw like get a grip bitch

(i can't)

will make a less depressing list tomorrow (maybe)

remind me to call my mom