#my brain is just fizzled
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more shitposts but I snatched the quotes from @incorrectnevermoor 👀
#nevermoor#morrigan crow#jupiter north#hawthorne swift#ezra squall#anah kahlo#destressing by drawing shitposts is surprisingly effective#also i’m literally obsessed with the texture on the brush i’ve been using. it is SO SATISFYING#i’m like two seconds from posting a video of the eraser on it just because the way it fizzles out scratches my brain#but that would be odd lol#‘hey do you wanna see the coolest thing i’ve seen all day’ and it’s just a single line on a canvas
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More !!! Im really fond of the two stitched looking things on the right. I want to design more of them. I’m feeling super inspired by Kanotynes …..
#ocs#as soon as i stumbled upon her art i was Hooked . before i even knew she designed for UT#deltarune i mean oops#i was just scrolling on toby fox’s tumblr account and saw her art. scratched some part of my brain i didnt even know needed to be scratched#finding out she designed lancer & others was an added bonus#so much charm to her designs!!!#im talking with her on twitter … trying to learn her secrets….#i hope one day if i keep it up some up and coming indie game dev will approach me for designs too… a guy can dream!!#maybe said up and coming game dev is in the room with us…. in that case. (slicks my eyebrows and does a miles morales voice) hey.#i wish i was born earlier. the cool indie game rush that happened around the UT peak seems to have fizzled out somewhat 😢#i’m gonna draw a shitton of homestuck art till someone asks me to draw panels for hs^2 . Gnashes my teeth#SOMEONE out there. i’m itching to do SOMETHING
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lol not me crying because someone from my program texted me to ask how i was doing and that they hadn't seen me around in a while
#i don't really have any friends here so even getting a text makes me 😭#like i have 'friends' in the sense that i like most of the people in my program and i'm reasonably certain that almost everyone likes me to#but we're not close and we don't spend time together or anything#all of the people that i was closer with aren't in the program anymore and live elsewhere and they just don't stay in touch#and like i do just get very frustrated because in all of my friendships where one of us has moved away#or even when we're just like at different jobs or stuff so we don't see each other much anymore#i've tried SO HARD to stay in touch and aside from ONE person it always fizzles out despite my best efforts#and i don't think it's anything to do with me or them per se#but just sort of this broad dynamic of how our general society conceptualizes and (de)prioritizes friendship#which isn't what *i* want for *my* friendships#and there's also this dynamic of like. almost every single person in my program has a partner. and i do not.#and like blah blah blah amatonormativity etc#i try really hard not to let my brain twist it all into anything more hurtful than what it is#i know that's life and we're in grad school and everyone's busy etc etc etc#but it does really wear me down to be so alone and lonely literally all of the time#and to end on a lighter note: thank you to all my tumblr pals for being such great pals 🥹 you are so loved and appreciated 💛
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Send any Minecraft Mob to my inbox, and I will draw it!
[Click here for a list of the mobs]
#Minecraft#mineblr#fizzles talks#Minecraft Mobs#this is it yall. I've resorted to making my Own inbox memes#i have these things in my brain and i would love to have an excuse to doodle all day#fizzles inbox memes#just in case this becomes a regular thing
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been thinking a lot about soulless jack’s arc and the various way it crashed through the ceiling and one of those ways is how there was absolutely no fallout from it in s15.
between the events of Game Night and Moriah, dean opened up an fbi file that listed jack as armed + dangerous with multiple charges, he and Sam literally tracked Jack through the trail of bodies left behind with every new target. the woman swallowed by the earth was literally televised live for half of the normal world to see, and not only did jack’s second trail of bodies with the Grigori literally get him on CCTV footage eating a heart, but it also landed him as the wanted armed + dangerous fbi target. I don’t know if Chuck reversing the lie command also reversed the world’s memory of it all or what, but Jack had like an actual impact on the normal world that just isn’t there in S15.
Nobody seems to recognize him once he’s back, not civilians who saw him telekinetically bury a woman alive on national television, not police officers or actual FBI agents aware of his still-active file or the CCTV footage of him eating a raw heart. Nothing. Of course it’s because everything Jack goes through is for plot advancement and nothing else, but that only adds to how frustrating the sheer amount of loose ends in his arcs is.
While I’d personally rework the entire season to have more focus on Jack, I do think there was some potential to revisit it in Gimme Shelter especially, where the main villain is literally a Christian Jigsaw who punishes those she deemed “wicked” and “corrupt” in almost the exact same way Duma had manipulated Jack into doing. Even in the way the episode canonically plays out, Jack and Sylvia do have some connection: both dealing with loss, grief, hopelessness, helplessness, and disappointment. Now the episode doesn’t exactly bank on their emotional connection as a plot stronghold for when Sylvia is revealed to be bad, like Sam and Ava in All Hell Breaks Loose, but the ghost of a narrative foil still haunts it anyways.
Sylvia is obviously meant to be some sort of foil or mirror for Jack in the sense that she reflects what he did and what he’s currently suicidally guilt stricken about. As usual, Jack tries to reach out and help Sylvia because of their similarities, because she’s in the same pain he is in, to which she refutes: “you’re just a scared little boy trying to make his daddies happy.” The mirror for Jack’s past actions is basically belittling his guilt-driven attempt to make things right with Sam and Dean and the rest of the world. The hopelessness, helplessness and disappointment they related to each other is exactly what Jack feels within his own situation.
I mean, he’s literally suicidal. He’s actively working towards killing himself as a last resort for redemption and atonement without there even being a guarantee that he’ll actually get it in the end.
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#I don’t know how to end this post my brain just . fizzled out#anyways.#spn#supernatural#jack kline#sam winchester#dean winchester#castiel#tfw2.0#team free will 2.0#spn 15x15#gimme shelter#spn season 15#spn meta#spn parallels#I’m just.#UGH.#the bitterness.#I really hate myself for quoting Hamilton but like.#jack really could’ve done so much more if he only had time#and by time I mean COMPETENT WRITERS WHO ACTUALLY GIVE HALF A SHIT ABOUT HIM.#every day I hate this show but every day I can’t leave
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Based on that one meme
He's fine guys, don't worry
More doodles under the cut
A bunch of kissing sketches (that got... a bit more heated than intended. listen i promised it started out wholesome with the bottom ones, but then i blacked out and whoops /silly)
I do not know how to draw kisses 😔
#mario#super mario#bowser#bowsario#bowser x mario#mario x bowser#ni draws stuff#suggestive#tw suggestive#not really#but just in case for those more intense doodles#anyways#these two are still taking up space in my brain#like a lot of it#i'm constantly thinking about them#god they need more content so desperately TvT#i wished i could just#somehow make them go popular#i'll try my damnest tho i'll keep on drawing#until the hyperfixation fizzles out anyways#i'll never stop loving them tho#have for a while#just now something sparked in me and i started hyperfixating
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If Man-Bat likes you, prepare to have your personal space disrespected! Vampire bats are very social, often snuggling up close to other members of their kind and even initiating grooming as part of social bonding. Man-Bat might rest his head on your shoulders, lean against you, even go as far as licking your hair if it looks very messy and out of place. It can be quite uncomfortable, especially in summer given his high body temperature.
#🦇 || musings#🦇 || headcanons#I think I sent out all the aks today!#I don't think I did a very good job as my brain fizzled out at some point#Definitely not feeling well and work granted me a little time off this week#The rest of my hours will be normal at 8pm to 12am but will go back to full time starting Monday#Just very tired and run down#I hope people like their asks anyhow and please don't feel obliged to answer!#I can always send something different if the first doesn't work#Felt like writing a smol quickly bc Man-Bat can be VERY grabby#He'll think nothing of pulling you in and fixing your messy hair#No doubt making it even messier but at least you're clean now! :)#He can be pretty annoying when not being scary lmao
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Playing Pokémon White just bc my bf has been getting me into it again with his rambling
#sam's talky talks#Edit: I just realized I said White instead of Black. Oops. Probably meant to say Black & White but just forgor#Sorry my brain has been fizzled the entire time
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Me: listening to So You Want To Talk About Race
Me: oh I am learning a lot about my relationship to blackness in this book written by another black woman raised by a white parent (identities to that differing widely)
#personal;#i will probably write a long rambly Post Later (like tomorrow or something)#but i Realized (part of) why i have so much issue relating to blackness this morning bc of something the author says to her (white) mother#and am realizing that /maybe/ race might also be part of why dad was genuinely shocked i thought i was a disappointment for lack of#being told he was proud (and lack of achievements worth a damn to society) bc like. a white cis man will /generally/ get more#for just existing than a shy black girl with emotional regulation issues#*girl/woman re me in this post being used for intersectionality reasons and not gender#well. kinda gender. i WAS a girl. once. until somewhere in my teens#regardless!#i'm very tired but my brain is cooking#i had to turn the book off bc brain cooking too much i can feel it buzzing and i have no energy to deal with the thoughts/emotions making#it buzz and fizzle so#i should force myself to shower#but!!!!!! emphatically recommend to anyone white wanting to learn how to talk about this stuff while being white#and understand concepts you might not get (tho beginnerish level)
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really drawn to the idea of commonplace books. i think i’m gonna start one tomorrow !!
#rambles#a video about it popped up in my recommendations on youtube and now i’m kind of obsessed#i started journaling in 2020 and did it religiously for a year (or two?)#and it just kind of fizzled out#but i noticed that journaling just kind of made me ruminate on things and it wasn’t super helpful for me#also hi it’s almost 2am and my brain is wide awake
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I played Season over the weekend, which if I had to condense "thematic meandering" into a videogame is probably what I would most closely end up with; but it was still a cozy chill time that targeted my very specific niche of robust cow petting mechanics. Followed by journaling the heck out of them.
I do think cute indies living and dying by their sincere desire to paint the human condition should never ever ever fall into the temptation of obtuse and nebulous worldbuilding that desperately needs to explain itself so it can function as an aesthetic blanket for their vignettes. Just keep it loose and metaphor-heavy, fellas.
Cause if you're not extremely, painfully specific about your intention with a story that centers ignorant tourism and historic preservation, you're gonna beef it, bud
#season a letter to the future#I have so many nitpicks but it feels mean lmao. in a very subjective sense I had a good time with it. I am a boring playstyle guy#scrapbooking and cycling in a pretty world is right up my alley. wish it wasn't so#man idk if I can call it what I want to call it cause it's so unclear of its own optics. the intention feels pure#for whatever good that can do in a context this god damn loaded :D but at least I recorded the froggies on my tapes#(a game like this does not need elaborate lore that it then fails to adequately explain anyway. that is a barrier to many of season's#emotional high points. shit just lacks clarity of purpose and happens as a given and banks on its aesthetic and melancholic context to#provide the necessary backbone for that punch. but then you end up revealing your hand and general flippant disposition towards this#nebulously coded cultural backdrop that you've constructed for ultimately shallow purposes. especially irt to the core ethos#like the game ultimately asks us if dispassionate preservation of a dying culture is more valuable than the vicarious experience of it but#then that binary is never meaningfully weighted since the protagonist survives and succeeds in either option BECAUSE of the journal and?#it all fizzles out in thematic incongruity. maybe it's my own hangups with glorification of legacy to such a manic degree#or maybe it's really just meant to be sort-of aimless and 'human' in that way. which again negates the need for this lore-brain barrier#just keep it simple without the oddly pedestrian mechanics of the literal apocalypse and the mass amnesia prayers and tell#the exact same story. with a tighter grip on the context of who the protagonist is in this land. there's your game)#text
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I need to find something to do that won't have me bored within 15 minutes but alas such activities don't exist today
#ive done some chores#i should do hw#not going to lmao#i have tried to read tried to write tried to watch a show tried to mindlessly scroll through tumblr and my brain just fizzles out#maybe a video game? idk anymore lol
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anyways im still also thinking of my po.to babes ... mainly erik tbh JDHBFS
#` ooc / technicolor horse brain rot `#( i wanna do smth with him but i just made a new icon border so my brain is )#( fizzling out rn HBHJSDF )
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https://www.tumblr.com/themotherofhorses/736373436111290368/update-so-i-have-learned-that-it-is-in-fact
wait girlie.. forgive me, i haven’t been online in months and it’s genuinely hard for me to tell sarcasm (im so sorry) over online / the internet .. 😕 do you really not like aemond anymore?
i touched grass like three months ago and officially became free from the shackles of that white man.
#vic’s asks and replies#JUST JOKES !#my brain rot just fizzled out & im in love w someone new#….someone older someone colder
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y'all, I feel like I've said this a lot, it is truly a joy to be a GM, but I am so fucking ready to get out of the chair and be a player again
#the goalpost keeps moving#i think i have 10 more sessions in me max#those sessions will be PACKED. have to have a mini boss fight. the breaking of a curse. the boss fight. some kind of arc resolution#that will be player driven! whatever they want to do with relations between two groups before they go north!#and THEN the long awaited audience with gil galad to hopefully broker some kind of alliance between them and tar miriel.#winter will arrive and it will see them either at sea or in lindon. hoping for lindon but they could fuck up negotiations for sure.#the problem with my notes tbh is that there is a lot of stuff in my brain but not a lot on paper#anyway. christ. what is it like just showing up to a d&d session with a character sheet and a notebook.#AKB will be 3 years old in january#i think i'm still in the hot seat until april#i love this campaign. i do i really do. but hoooooo boy. i want a real break.#this last hiatus doesn't feel like it counted because it was schedule driven and i still have to keep things spinning in my mental space.#not to mention no one GMed anything in the meantime#there was some poll recently that was about being a player for a long form campaign like what type of characters have you played#and one-shots and campaigns that fizzled out <3 sessions in don't count#i looked at that poll and was like well damn. i haven't been a player in a long form campaign since probably... 2016. GURPs 4e.#wait that's not true-- the 5e/Star Wars Saga ed hybrid campaign that was a mixed bag. scoundrel ship mechanic zabrak life.#ha! checked my notes! that ended in july 2022#i feel like that one barely counts though because my PC was wrangling the group to keep us on task (frustrating. i am a plot hound player)#these tags are out of hand#i'm just tired and struggling with stat blocks nbd#to be deleted i guess#do i need a loremaster tag?
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Okay, starting The Unsleeping City season 2, and working on putting the finished pieces of this AT-AT Walker together so it's ready to stuff when my fiber fill arrives! By golly I am getting this done in time for Christmas! But also, now I need another crochet project to work on so I can justify spending hours in front of my laptop watching D20. Too bad I quit sending out 5 dozen Christmas cards with handmade ornaments a few years ago, that at least would give me something easy to do!
#dimension 20#the unsleeping city#i gotta keep my hands busy#but also the pandemic killed so much of my creative energy as well as so many friendships#and the ones that remained mostly fizzled out when my burnt out adhd brain couldn't keep up the effort to reach out#because of course i live hours away from everyone i was friends with#ANYWAY#time to go watch other people be friends and be filled with longing#and who knows#maybe i'll at least make ornaments for the family for these past couple of years#just to have a complete collection
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