#my brain is fried now after making this post

[mandalhoerian]

Repost because tumblr's tags were broken yesterday and it ate my post up 😞 Spoilers and translation notes for Rafayel's intertidal zone & analysis because it kinda floored me, I was just as a blank page as he was throughout this. I had to watch it like 5 times to understand what the story was saying and dig into chinese and japanese versions of this to piece together what was really happening. It may be my idiot brain not getting it and maybe it was like the easiest thing to understand for you but. Yeah. I may be just dumb LMFAO AND!!!! There's also a theory of mine into how Rafayel is actually able to read mc's mind/wishes through their lemurian bond, so stay tuned for that I guess

EDIT: correcting some transcriptions of chinese characters and the translations. sorry about that! google couldn't transcribe it correctly. for clarity's sake i will also include original screenshots. please tell me if anything is wrong!

EDIT 2: Check out part 2 to this as well for stuff I missed!

EDIT 3: An Abysswalker connection I found

EDIT 4: Debunking the myths of non-consent & Rafayel hurting MC in the spicy scene

So Rafayel’s whole deal in this memory, I believe, is dependency. Like, too much intensity, too much need, too much fear -- about scaring her off, about what he sees himself possibly becoming in the future, overall just being too reliant on mc and getting scared by it.

Let's begin with this massive fear of being a taker, not just in the “I’m stealing someone’s fries” way, but in this existential, soul-deep kind of way where he’s terrified of turning everything he loves into something he exploits out of demand for his art. And yeah, it’s sad when you first hear him say it, but it’s also really interesting when you look at how this all ties into his relationship with MC and his inspiration source drying up because of her.

Before Rafayel became an artist, he looked at the world in this super pure, wholesome way. Sceneries and nature were just there, things to admire and feel awe over without needing to do anything about it. Like, imagine standing at the edge of a desert, looking at a sea that’s drying up. Sure, it’s tragic, but it’s also kind of beautiful in a raw, heartbreaking way. That’s how Rafayel saw things, he could appreciate them without feeling like he had to do anything.

But then Rafayel started creating, and suddenly, sceneries weren’t just sceneries anymore. They became inspiration. He wasn’t just admiring beauty, he was extracting something from it, its meaning, its pain, its soul, to turn into art for other people. And that made him feel all kinds of icky, because now he wasn’t just looking at the drying sea. He was taking from it. Just as he's using his people's pain in his art as well, that's also a thing.

Now let’s talk about MC. Rafayel loves her like he used to love those sceneries,,, in this pure, untainted way. There's a parallel here. But here’s the kicker, he’s not the same guy who can just admire something and leave it untouched anymore.

And suddenly, this is no longer only about losing inspiration for him.

This happens after he and MC get together, and it’s like all the pain and anguish that used to fuel his creativity just.. ... dries up. He can’t find that spark anymore because now his life is surrounded by love instead of suffering. In fact, his inspiration starts coming from her and it's starting to clash with how he makes art. In the phone call, he seeks her out and says he needs her so bad and she only needs to talk to help him out. This is the first wink wink nod nod of the story.

So what does Rafayel do? He goes on this big, dramatic trip to "find inspiration" (or at least his muse), but it’s not just about his art. He’s not just looking for inspiration, he’s trying to figure out how to be less dependent on her and becoming increasingly more restless over this. The temparature and physical discomfort is making things worse, he's anxiously overthinking, and imagine trying to fight this and the longest art block as of late off when all you want to do is indulge in this special person and be comforted like a lap cat all day every day.

He understands that if he lets himself indulge without restraint, one day his love for mc will turn into pure need. He’ll become more and more greedy, and he doesn’t want that and is afraid of being abandoned because of that growing neediness and dependency.

This is in relation to his art, because as @/dat-silvers-girl put in the comments, he's struggling with "the genuine fear of not being able to enjoy anything in life because all you're thinking about how to use it (as an artist)" . what if he starts doing this to her? to their love and relationship? take from her, and become someone who only takes in every area of life -- like someone who only exploits things by extracting what he feels about them to use it for his art. he's afraid of that, he doesn't like that and possibly doesn't like himself who does it. so why should she? she would leave him for sure, in his head, that's a solid reason to.

The first time around he brings up his anxiety about MC leaving him out of the inner realization of his dependency, the possibility of just what he can become, and fear of abandonment. she effortlessly soothes his worries. It's heavily implied they did it afterwards and after hearing "her life has already been consumed by him" he tweaked out a little bit and his "obsession" seeped through.

After it fades to black, he says ほら……僕もとっくに……君に侵食されてしまっているんだ…… which means "See... I've already been completely consumed by you too" in Japanese instead of the life being made a chaotic mess localization. While I think MC's line was jokey and lighthearted, I don't think this man is joking at all. Rafayel didn't say his life was consumed by her as well, he said HE was consumed. Ouh.

This took the edge off from him for a while but they hadn't gotten to the root of the problem yet, so he was back to square one after the memorial hall, because remember, he's trying to find inspiration as an act of making this dependency of his better. Pain and suffering are all around him here, which his inspiration feeds off of. The dried up ocean he could hear weakening, the skeleton of the whale, the burden of his people and homeland more prominent than before. And what does MC do? Tear through the perspective of pain and introduce a hopeful alternative, "Isn't it a surprise to see an ocean in the middle of the desert?"

This is a place that gave Rafayel the height of helplessness and suffering when he visited by himself before despite momentarily being hopeful after the locals told him such a place existed. But now, she was there to comfort him through his loneliness and pain, hug him, and give him hope yet again. He brings up how he wanted to come here with the most important person to him when he was still hopeful about it before consumed by the pain of it all, and that wish has been granted. That moment has to be so powerful for Rafayel. Literally light at the end of the tunnel.

It had me reeling that he just sat in the car after all that, staring at her for god knows how long until she woke up. He was probably overthinking again, but my interpretation that it was heavily emotional for him (it could have meant so little for MC but the world for him, she doesn't even know) and he wanted to be in that moment with her, just feel and look without restraint. Indulge a little. (I can just imagine him going just a little bit more, I'll go after she wakes up.) And like. His eyes are shining in the darkness is the description here. Perhaps he was feeling so much here. So much love. So much happiness. And he's about to go in for a kiss (heavy breathing and everything) after that, but holds himself back and actively has to pry himself away. He's feeling the neediness again.

That’s why he makes an effort to actively wean himself off and says he'll be okay on his own. What he says to her after MC is like "spoiling him" being all "hey you're sick maybe don't go? or let's go together?" (which is NOT helping Rafayel at all) is even more meaningful in Japanese and I didn't know why they left out this context, but the rearranged line would be "Do you want me to become a sea creature beached on the sand after the sea recedes, unable to breathe on my own ever again?"

Yeah. YEAH. This is about dependency. (He's saying don't coddle me I'll literally become that wolf tearing his shirt meme 😭)

So of course his stubbornness and anxiety force him to do things without MC and distance himself, he can do it. He’s determined to prove to himself that he can endure it on his own.

I also feel like part of the reason he insisted on going to the salon alone is that he’s still worried mc might come to dislike the version of him who's someone he's so sure she will leave, who isn't perfect and he hides behind the persona he's put up just for her. If he truly becomes addicted to her and shows her everything/his true self, and she ends up leaving him, it would completely break him. He's trying to be like "im so normal about her haha" but he's so not normal about her at all. He's literally obsessed I feel like, and perhaps this is him fighting it knowing it's not healthy.

and OOOH about why he ends up coming back from the salon all hot and bothered.

I have strong context that she flicked the bean in there after he left her high and dry in the car ("hot water washes away the stickiness from my body and his stifled breaths still echo in my ears, enveloping me along with the steam in the bathroom. The warmth from his fingertips lingers in the places where he touched me..." is the english. however, in chinese, it goes "熱水洗去身上的黏膩，壓抑的喘息迴盪在我耳畔，和浴室裡氤氳的水氣一起包裹著我." stating "the suppressed breathing" -- which doesn't have any possessive adjectives when I translated it on google and later explicitly asked chatgpt if it had any his/my adjectives involved, just to be sure. it said no but i'd like it if a real chinese speaking person could give their input on this !!! PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME WITH CHATGPT

so um. if the context is in fact the case that he heard her masturbating to him, the intensity with which he attacked her would be normal, I think 😭

I have belief that MC unconsciously shatters his "training himself to be without her" determination through their bond. She just keeps thinking about him the entire time. about him reading her thoughts, though. we still don't know all about the lemurian bond they share. I’d say it grants him some sort of mind/heart reading ability or connects their minds together (when she was thinking about whether she should hug him, he answered “yes”).

At the salon, I imagine Rafayel was already thinking about her like crazy. Then he realized, or perhaps, "heard" she was still worrying about him and thinking of him (as much he thought about her) and decided to go back. Rafayel probably felt that suppressing himself was only making her more anxious and unsettled. She's thinking all about him, unconsciously calling to him to come to her, she didn't want to let him go at all, wanted to go with him, etc...

but even if it was his own decision and no mind reading was involved... uh. If you ask me. He did quite literally hear her after coming back. That's also something that might make him think she wants him as much as he wants her, which made his self-restraint utterly meaningless from the start.

Disregarding this theory of mine proven wrong until a Chinese speaker helps me out here, MC returned to Rafayel's room. A translation omission happened here from what I saw. There are no possessive adjectives in the Chinese text about the room she returns to, and the Japanese one states she returned to the guest room (doesn't specify which one. She was also able to enter Rafayel's room without needing to knock before.)

so uh. she went into rafayel's room y'all. the line "this is my room, you're the one who walked in here" MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE. (SO LIKE. NOT ONLY DID SHE GO INTO HIS ROOM, SHE FLICKED THE BEAN THERE AND HE POSSIBLY HEARD IT. SHE'S MORE OF A FREAK THAN HE IS, I UNDERSTAND WHY HE LET GO AFTER THAT LMFAO)

I don't put it past him to get worked up after he finds her in his room post-bath even without my theory lmfao (idk why they put her in a dress when she should be in a bathrobe or something 😭)

His conclusion at the end of this memory that "he finds inspiration in pain and the art of creation is a part of his life. mc made him realize love and art are so alike. even if they don't complete him but burn him instead he wants them (love and art) with every fiber of his being" and MC says she doesn't like that, rightfully so.

So like. There's SO MUCH to unpack in here.

When Rafayel says he finds inspiration in pain and that creation is a part of his life, he’s admitting something raw and essential about himself: pain isn’t just a byproduct of his art, it’s intrinsic to it. For Rafayel, pain and art are intertwined in a way that’s almost inseparable. It’s like his muse isn’t just beauty, but beauty that hurts.

But then he takes this further by connecting art to love. He’s realized that both art and love demand the same from him: vulnerability, passion, and sometimes suffering. They don’t necessarily complete him (he’s not romanticizing them as salvation), but they burn him, wear him down, consume him (coincidentally, this is something he said to MC in the JP dub of this memory, that she consumes him), but also give him life. And for Rafayel, that’s the crux, even if they burn him, he wants them with every fiber of his being.

This is such a Rafayel thing to say. It’s dramatic, it’s tortured, but it’s also deeply SUBTLE. He doesn't spell all of these out, mind you, I got a headache trying to understand him. Or I'm just slow, I don't know. It shows how much he values creation and connection, even if they come at a cost.

MC, on the other hand, challenges this perspective. When she says she doesn’t like that he views love and art as things that burn him, she’s pushing back against the idea that suffering is a necessary part of creation, or love. MC doesn’t want Rafayel to see their relationship as something that requires him to hurt. She’s telling him, “You don’t have to destroy yourself to love me.”

When MC says, “You’ll never have to burn for me,” she’s giving Rafayel an alternative to his destructive mindset. She’s saying that love doesn’t have to hurt, that their relationship can exist without him sacrificing himself on the altar of passion. It’s a refusal to let Rafayel romanticize pain as the price of love.

And I love that Rafayel goes, "Will you help me look for other parts in life outside of pain?" in response. This is NOT about art or inspiration anymore, and the way the dialogue is written is just AUGH. Again I had to rewatch this over and over again for the nuances and subtext.

I love MC's response, she knew exactly what to say. “I’ll always be the one who walks along the shore with you. Of course, diving into the sea bed is fine too. If it can snow in the desert, there will be a day when the ocean returns.”

MC’s response is layered with metaphors, but at its core, it’s about unwavering support and hope::

Walking along the shore: This represents safety and companionship. MC is saying she’ll be with Rafayel in the calm, in the moments where they’re just observing life without diving into its depths. She’ll be his steady presence, his grounding force.

Diving into the sea bed: This is an acknowledgment that life and love sometimes require going deeper and they may go through hardships, into the unknown, the murky, the challenging. MC isn’t afraid of this, she’s willing to go there with him too.

Snow in the desert and the ocean’s return: This is a symbol of hope and transformation beyond being a nod to The Sea of Golden Sand. Snow in the desert seems impossible, just like the idea of Rafayel finding inspiration outside of pain might feel impossible to him. But MC believes in the extraordinary, in change, and in the possibility that beauty and creation can exist outside of suffering.

Her words are a promise: she’s willing to stand by him, to face the unknown together, and to hold onto the belief that a new way of seeing the world is possible.

And Rafayel LOWKEY PROPOSES IN RETURN.

By saying “let’s watch the sea together,” he’s accepting MC’s offer of companionship and hope in the long run. He’s recognizing that life doesn’t have to be about diving into the depths alone, it can be about sharing the experience with someone else, even if it’s just standing on the shore and watching.

“Every sea”: This phrase is key. Rafayel isn’t just committing to one kind of life or one kind of inspiration, he’s opening himself up to all possibilities. Watching every sea means embracing all facets of life, whether they’re calm or turbulent, painful or beautiful. It’s a marriage proposal declaration that he’s ready to explore the world beyond pain, with MC by his side.

So. I love that his inspiration returns after his freak is accepted by MC because he literally feels the acceptance through the bond.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. This memory DRAINED me. They were just supposed to bang what the fuck happened. Why did I have to go treasure hunting to find what was going on in this card. anyway...

[sheep-from-rad]

Idea! Neglected bar singer darling.

The joint they sing in is on the very outskirts of Gotham. The bars in the basement of a restaurant.

Its pretty clear darling is saving up money to slowly inch away from Gotham and from there neglectful and sometimes (often) cold family.

So they dress as a Him/femme/them fatale and saunter up to the stage and sing there lil heart out and get both the thrill of all the attention in a room being on them and the money in there tip jar to boot.

Imagine what happens when a clip of darling singing goes fucking viral. (I'd like to think it's would be "be your baby tonight" give it a listen if you want. I like norah jones' cover)

What I'm saying is there is no way any of the batfam would approve of darlings career choice.

I love this kind of asks!~ Requests are now open again but we warned, I'm a snail paced writer T__T This took a while because I have this habit where I write it down first on paper before typing it. Like I make a draft first and reread before typing it to see if I should add more or remove some. First fic about singer reader: here and part 2 here. 😅

**DC characters belong to DC and I don't give permission to feed my writings to AI. Thank you**

Masterlist(Batfam)

Masterlist (All of my other fics)

divider by: @k1ssyoursister

Okay okay, here me out. I know you said secret bar under a restaurant but my brain read the word ‘bar’ and ran away with it 😭. 

You know what this smells like? Scandal and maybe even a disaster waiting to happen too. You know what's a famous bar in Gotham? The Iceberg lounge that is run by Mr. Cobblepot (Penguin) and  is frequented by rogues  such as Riddler. 

Life in the Iceberg Lounge isn't that bad, maybe intimidating at first but it became a small comfort. Mr. Cobblepot lets you keep the tips, the lounge beauties (Raven, Lark, and Jay) are great companies, and workplace harassment? You don't really have to worry about that. If you ever get flirted on or harassed by small fries and drunkards and then rest assured a bigger, scarier person at the back of the crowd will beat the harasser and throw them out. They might be villains but they have standards and harassing the lounge’s songbird is a big no no! 

The clip of the singer reader went viral for a ton of different reasons: (1) The singing and the amount of simps you raked 24 hours after the clip has been posted. I have a headcanon that Mr. Cobblepot will nickname you as either Nightingale or Songbird to fit the crew because the lounge beauties are nicknamed after birds.(2) People can see villains just chilling at the background of the video. Riddler's nursing a whiskey at the counter, Two face is playing chess with Penguin who is multitasking in helping mix some drinks. Hell, even Harley and Ivy are in the background having a moment with the strippers.

(3) Why is Bruce Wayne’s kid at the Iceberg lounge? I have a teeny tiny headcanon that even though the reader was neglected they are still forced to attend galas once or twice because Bruce won't and then it will be like a big media scandal. Also reader's public appearances with Bruce or with the other Wayne children might be low but they still have hundreds of followers. The Wayne name alone is basically a celebrity name because of Bruce being heavily revered by the public. Think of it like nepobaby shit. (4) That stage presence and sheer seductiveness. Being a Wayne, I'm sure the reader was taught etiquette by Alfred and was taught how to dress properly. They are also taught how to behave. However on that vid, you look like you were dressed by the Gotham sirens (Ivy, Harley, and Selena) themselves. All those good boy, good girl, good child stuff are out of the window. If the reader was just blending in the background before and the video is the opposite. It's almost commanding every viewer to look at them, pay attention to them, worship the very ground they walk on, and love them! At this point just expect simps. 

The family loves the video but at the same time they also hate it. They had their copies downloaded and saved and then they'll immediately task Barbara into scrubbing the video off of the internet but it's too late. The video has been re-uploaded to hundreds of different accounts and some  news outlets had already published articles about it. The articles ranged from sweet ones like praising the reader for their awesome stage performance and singing to downright insane clickbaits like ‘Bruce Wayne secretly allied with Gotham rogues?’ 

The whole thing is very stressful and I pray to the DC gods that Bruce Wayne is very healthy because this guy's blood pressure might as well go high up. Imagine trying so hard to keep up with the ditzy playboy public persona to hide your vigilante secret identity only for your kid to be filmed singing and being cozy at the Iceberg lounge. Not only that! You also placed yourself in danger too! It's not a secret that a lot of rouges knew Batman's real identity (Joker knows it, he just doesn't care. He's so cool for that). Sure they don't attack Batman when he's Bruce and sure they are a sweet pseudo-family to you right now but who's to say that they won't use you when push comes to shove? 

While Bruce deals with the media, Barbara and Tim work on the damage control and tracking every video, expect heavy guilt tripping and interference from Damian, Dick, and even Alfred (in his defense, he wants you safe and will only ask for you to get a better job or at least work in a place not frequented by villains). Dick will be actively poisoning the well. He'll make you sit down and read the crime archives with him (starting from the heaviest crime down to the pettiest crime) and will tell you stories about their encounters with each of them. Damian will try to keep you from getting to work and will try to keep you in your room if you haven't moved out of the estate. He'll ask you to go around with him, feed his pets with him and even asked you to watch him train (he doesn't know how bonding works, please be understanding). If you had left the estate and then expect him to show up and walk in your place like he owns it. He's one of those cats that you feed once and then suddenly shows up and won't leave you alone anymore. 

Oh, you still won't come home? You still wanna continue that dangerous job of yours? Pick your poison then. Do you want them to call Jason to get to the bar and take you home, knowing him some heads will sure go flying. Or do you want the family to stage a stakeout, infiltrate the bar, and capture and lock up all the villains forever. Go on, go choose. 

[actual-changeling]

this one is thanks to a post by @thegroovyfool because she is very much correct - we do not talk about aziraphale's "i need you" enough.

so once again, with a deep breath and a sigh, welcome back to alex's unhinged meta corner, where i tear apart the confession scene frame by frame. i'm gonna say, watching this particular clip over and over and focusing on aziraphale's face almost took me out.

let's get into it.

first, how about a little look at our starting point. (any blurry screencaps are due to a LOT of movement on michael's part rip)

crowley is very pointedly facing away from him, he turned after aziraphale said "we can be together - angels!", presumably because being offered exactly what he wants in the one way he cannot have it fried his brain, cause besties it surely fried mine.

aziraphale on the other hand looks openly desperate, which is why he says "i need you." more on that later. let's have a look at how he says it, because michael "microexpressions" sheen is putting in the work.

to me, he seems close to tears, his eyes are glistening in that specific "i'm about to cry my eyes out" way i know from looking in the mirror while crying

he is trying to get crowley to listen to him and to turn around. he wants crowley to face him, which is something most people tend to want during an argument. talking to someone who is not looking at you tends to make someone frustrated and like they're not hearing you/do not care about what you have to say.

aziraphale looks close to despair, his i need you is a plea to crowley to come with him. he is opening himself up not just emotionally but physically, too.

he slightly leans forward, his arms are raised and seem to both slightly grasp for crowley and point towards his chest/heart for emphasis. the pure pain visible on his face knocks the air out of me every single time i look at it.

aziraphale is admitting to needing him, something he has never done before, hell, he has told him the exact opposite on numerous occasions. i don't need you. and while they both knew it was a) a lie and b) a way for him to deal with his conflicting emotional standpoints and cognitive dissonance, it still hurt crowley every. single time.

crowley was there for him no matter what, he knows aziraphale needs him but he came back and remained at his side even when he was pushed away and more or less openly insulted. he endured it all.

aziraphale saying i need you now is pretty much a slap in the face but also what crowley needs to hear. as with everything that happens during the entire conversation, the timing is fucked up and they're talking past each other.

in my opinion, that is why crowley does not react.

only when aziraphale turns spiteful and starts questioning his understanding (aka calling him stupid without outright saying it) does he re-enter the conversation.

aziraphale, however, is upset. now, i will put on my tinhat for just a second and turn up the insanity because there are two more things i want to talk about.

first, the little stutter at the beginning.

"i ngk - i need you."

my question is - why? why does he stumble over these words in particular when it does not happen with any other sentence? the only other time is right after crowley walks away with his "good luck", he stumbles over crowley's name.

so, in short, it happens when he is either caught off-guard or saying something incredible emotional.

and this, everyone, is where i go unhinged in my interpretation.

what if he initially did not want to say "i need you?" what if he was so caught up in getting crowley to stay/come with him that he did not think and almost confessed another three word sentence?

what if he was about to say "i love you" but stopped himself because no, that's too direct, they don't do that, they can't do that. it goes against EVERYTHING they have silently build over the last six thousand years. so he chokes on it. he chokes on it and instead he says "i need you" because it means the same thing.

i need you. don't leave me. come with me. be an us. go off together.

i forgive you. i love you.

they say it over and over again because that's the only way they can say it.

that is why aziraphale is so angry and upset after saying it. he told crowley he loves him, he needs him, and all he got in return was silence.

the funny part is that this code may have worked before, but it no longer does. crowley is too hurt to listen to what aziraphale is trying to tell him, and aziraphale is equally as hurt and also not listening anymore.

the funny part is that it stopped being about love and started being about sides again. my side, your side, our side. choose a side, choose our side, choose me.

the funny part is that beelzebub and gabriel told them what they need to do, i found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides.

[imjustdelusionalok]

yandere dc: meeting camgirl! reader <3 pt. 2

Yuppp, this is the part two of my previous post <33 but this time she'll be meeting the rest of the batboys and kon! (reminder she has met some of them even from before!!)

if you get into the 'terry mcginnis' part and is confused on who he is, watch batman beyond bc hes the new batman and its sooo good and hes underrated <3

Anywho here it isss

BIG warning: this may more or less have the same amount of clownery as the last one so prepare my sweets and also my brain is fried so some parts might not make sense but i tried😔💔 please repost to support me i spent sm timee 😭

tim drake aka 'red robin':

Also one of your most biggest and creepiest faithful fans that you've ever had in your stream!

Hes a frequent donor AND victim to your relentless charms just like jason and dick.

Has met you before you decided to even become a cam girl, as you two both go to the same school AND classes too 🥰 (he may or may have not gotten bruce to manipulate the principal or some higher up into changing classes...)

he's like a lovesick highschool student who developed a crush, but this time more extreme.

While you on the otherhand, saw a weird looking boy staring at you with the most fullest smile you've ever seen. toothy, cheshire grin, and all-- (he ran away almost IMMEDIATELY when you saw him)

(...you also chased after him when he ran 💀 he was shooked, but stops once your hand grabs his shoulder and you ask him who he was)

"You >:D i saw you looking at me, who are you >:)"

...my, he never knew you were this bold... you really need to stop being so cute or your further fueling his delusions i swear--

You shake him. "Ow- okay-- my name's Tim--"

You then smile and drag a stunned but intrigued timothy with you.

...Are you perhaps some social butterfly, darling?...

From that moment on, tim's interest in you increases and a friendship between you and him bloomed! Hes so proud of himself for making the first move even though you did it first...

(Again, dont ask how darling lives in bludhaven, but meets tim and jason whose in gotham 💀 either think of her as having teleportation powers being the reason for the frequent back-and-forths or tim being so obssessed, he moves in bludhaven just to see reader--)

When i said creepy, i said c r e e p y. Even worse than klarion, thaddeus, and even dick who i said before was on another level 😦

Tim is both sweet, nervous, and shy... or at least, is how he shows himself for you.

he must look decent for you or how else would he make you reciprocate his feelings?

He's capable of changing in a blink of an eye so anybody who isn't his beloved, dont test him, okay? <3

He sits in the back with darling in class. In the back. You heard me.

Normally he'd be in the front to be able to see and listen better, but darling is a slacker so--

He sighs, looking at his rushed and poorly written notes. He doesnt even know what the topic is anymore, and it kinda looks like hieroglyphics--

Meanwhile, you on the otherhand, was cooking instant noodles with the others... with a pot AND a stove... D: (he loves you but damn he wants to cry rlly bad on how screwed you two are--)

As for the part where he finds out about your part-time job as a cam girl, this man was seething.

No honey, not at you, but at your parents-- how could they let their beautiful daughter do this?! Do they even care?!-- oh? What was that, darling?... Your parents were gone? i guess that explains it...

proceeds to feel bad for you, and wishes to look after you. But you being you, you remain so hardheaded. Why cant you let him love you?? why cant you quit that stupid job?! >:( (hes a bit hypocritical on this one since he literally donates thus further fueling you to go on)

Sigh... nevertheless, he realizes a bit that he can't persuade someone like you for now, so he donates in your live like the good friend he is...

Yeah, 'good friend'...

In the darkness of his room, he watches with unblinking eyes the way your body moves on his screen. You look so enticing, the way a bit of pink colors your cheeks, how every moan you give were light and breathy... simply fantastic. He sighs.

"Oh baby... what am i going to do with you?... <3"

Yandere rating: 100% on money, 38% for nuisance, 70% for humor (80% as red robin)

⋆˚✿˖°

conner kent aka 'superboy':

Ah yes, another top donor and one of your most perverted watchers out there.

Cocky, rebellious, womanizing... doll, you're just another girl for him to use in order to piss off tim since he loves pushing that man's patience so much.

Has probably met you through him too, as this man follows his best friend that has been, in his eyes, acting a bit too strange lately.

And he now knows why. You.

thinks you're absolutely adorable. the way you act out of impulse to the way you speak so brazenly to him, intrigues the kryptonian so much.

Hm, your going to be so much fun to play with <3

But unfortunately, the boy of steel did not know who he was up against.

"...Doll, what did you just say?--" it was 8 at night and he was in his best attire holding a bouquet of flowers. Not just your average red roses, but a well-thought out blend of daffodils, carnations, and tulips. just for you.

But right now, you're breaking his heart.

"Yeah Kon, i love you but no. i'm not dating you. Sorry."

...you don't have the right to say you love him.

"a-and why can't we date?--" he was so confused, these months spent trying to court you, all wasted.

"erm... im not interested, kon. yeah you're hot and you support me and all, but im gonna be honest with you... you're not my type. and plus..."

he feels his heart break even more when you continue.

"...I'm interested in someone. I've known them for so long Kon, and i would hurt them if i get with you."

...

"...sorry." you run away.

things with kon has never felt the same since. he no longer visits tim just to see you, only him. he ignores you too, not even a single glance being spared. but you swear you could feel cold blue eyes watching your figure sometimes...

...and then that happens. you see a message notification from him. conner.

'im sorry if i made things awkward between us. forgive me, doll? :('

your thumb hovered whether or not to answer. you made your decision.

'kay. wanna play dti? :3'

he's so glad you cant see him right now... crying pure tears of joy, and complete relief that you took the bait.

'okay :)'

just because he got rejected by you once that doesnt mean he's immediately gonna back down <33 and about that boy you like, who was it? can't you tell him and he'll give a quick visit to the very lucky guy...

Yandere rating: 100% on money, 49% for nuisance, 80% for humor (95% as superboy)

ᯓᡣ𐭩

damian wayne aka 'robin':

...knows the guy that you like.

he's genuinely angry at you, but mostly at your taste.

seriously, him? why not him instead...

frequently donates money and is also very dedicated in line.

(to save you trouble, most of the batfam is a big fan to you and are often your biggest donors. they wish to stop you from pursuing such a... scandalous, line of work but cant help but further support you the more they give money and get addicted to the content you make 😞💔)

discovered you on accident when a certain someone, *cough* tim, *cough* left their computer on without closing the tabs.

you cannot simply imagine the sheer shock that painted his face during that time, seeing someone, you, getting it on with another guy that seems all too familiar.

...and he cant help but get angry. (you'll all understand soon enough why he and kon hates reader's man and possible bf sm 😭)

meeting you face to face... thats a whole situation. tim immediately regrets bringing damian to see you because this man already went off on how much of a 'hoe', you are.

you can take a lot of things, but this boy rubs you off wrong.

"seriously, drake? your new friend is a prostitute? you drew the line making friends with that kryptonian clone, but this takes the cak--"

*slap.*

...that hurts. damian's hand slowly makes its way up to his cheek, where the red was starting to spring.

he looks at you like you were mad. you are, thanks to him. "...you... you little---"

he was held back by an angry but calmer kon despite being also insulted, whilst tim holds you comfortably.

"hey don't listen to damian over there, alright? :( he's just a bit--"

"I'm speaking facts here!-- hmpfh!" a hand covers his mouth.

"seriously tim, does he ever shut his mouth?" kon says.

he huffs. "no. and that's why i was considering bringing duct tape earlier, Kon."

...okay, maybe his first impression forever got him labelled as a bitch in your eyes, but damian tries to make it up to you in any way he can since he actually finds you decent after getting to know you. (think of those asian parents that after scolding you till you cry, they give you food but instead money in damian's version)

"...ahem."

no response.

"...AHEM."

you finally look up at him, and a bag was thrown straight at your face. "you stupid ass-- wait a minute." you look inside the bag and it was filled with... money.

you look up at damian, only to see his figure quickly dashing off and hide behind a wall where he would secretly try and take a peek for your reaction. you smile and give a thumbs up.

"...you aren't that bad, but try shutting your mouth most of the time, okay? :3 <3"

...the green in his eyes glinted... and he scoffs. typical damian wayne.

"...sure, prozzy-- HEY STOP CRYING--"

fierce but protective. rude but caring. that is what damian is towards you.

and that is how he'll always be as long as that man is around...

"i'll be with you. and i shall do everything in my power to ensure you do not end up with him!--" too late.

Yandere rating: 100% on money, 25% for nuisance, 78% for humor (89% as robin)

ִֶָ࣪☾.𔘓

terry mcginnis aka 'batman beyond':

...is the man that kon, damian, and the others have beef with.

how he's part of the main timeline in this is that all of the events before batman beyond happens earlier. (i also tweaked a few things in canon here so dont mind me)

terry's dad died before the entire 'Powers' situation, leading to Terry living with his mom earlier.

...terry also suffers from something.

at a young age, terry cannot feel any sort of emotions. remorse, empathy, such things were removed from him. he could only feel empty, comparable to having a large gaping hole inside his chest instead of a beating heart.

the boy ponders why he was cursed with such a thing, and why he could only feel pity and sadness. just a little.

...he thought he was unsavable. until--

his eyes lands on you, the girl who was playing on the playground's swing. (note: darling used to live in gotham as a kid)

...he gulps. pretty...

"you there, what's your name?" you asked. always the first one to make a move...

...and you sound nice.

"hm? well? :3"

...he decided to speak. "...terry. i'm terry... you?..."

you smile. "they call me (name), pretty right?" he could only nod. yes, it was very pretty...

i think everybody could guess how things go from then on.

he meets you, grows up with you, falls in love with you, and in the end lives happily with you... if only it weren't for his tendency to maim just about anyone who gets near you.

he's a dog, honey. but he's your rabid, vicious dog.

by the time he grows up, he's learned how to hide what he truly is from you, and the terry that we all come to know and love is now here.

charming, witty, humorous... terry mcginnis is nothing but an amorous boy for you... and you love it. (u match his freak sm)

in his eyes, you two are together <3 and its not even a lie you two are but you're too much in denial since you firmly believe he deserves better :( (tho thoughts like that dissapear when he and you yk ;))

absolutely hates it when you spend time with anyone, especially with his adopted siblings. dick, jason, tim, and damian? fuck no. (if you read the batman beyond comics, those two despise each other--)

...so expect those two to be at each other's necks.

and about the cam girl part, yup, this man knows. and like tim, he tries to persuade you to stop. you're a complicated person, he knows. either for money or fun, you do crazy shit like this every time... but this one's really serious.

"...look at me." you obey, eyes staring back at ocean blue ones. terry's eyes were always so pretty...

"...hehe, pretty eyed as ever, mcginnis..." and he can't help but smile slightly at your words.

"..." damn you, really. his soft spot for you is huge, and 99% of the time, you get off the hook easily.

in the end, he might have allowed you to do this... 'artist' stuff, but on one condition:

he gets to f*ck you on some parts.

you blink, cheeks starting to redden. "...what--" and just like that, your fate is sealed <3

...currently, you were on Live. the rest of your boy toys watched with envious yet very heated gazes as your pussy was getting demolished by his dick. the close up shots were so unnecessary, the way he roughly pummels into you was so--

'$10000 from GR4YS0N_68'

'GR4YS0N_68: ugh yea terry ruin that little bitches cunt'

terry grins, feeling you getting closer. the position you and him were in was perfect, babe... perfect for a pic.

his strong hand gently but firmly grabs your jaw, making you face the camera.

he whispers to you so closely."smile for the camera, sweetie."

you oblige, a broken smile on your lips. the stream abruptly ends.

no need for the public to know what you both are doing in private anymore...

Yandere rating: 100% on money, 0.0001% for nuisance, 90% for humor (100% as batman beyond)

(finally its finished 🤕 i have so many unfinished works huhu....)

(update: ill also try editing this too <3)

[thelov3lybookworm]

What did you say?

Summary: He needs to stop saying thank you.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 1047

Warnings: none, unless you can say tooth rotting fluff and domestic cass x reader counts?

A/n: this is just adorable i loved writing this so much🥹🥹🥹

cassian is just so pookie and i love him sm 😭 someone get me a cassian please as a birthday git 😭

anyways, ENJOY🥹

(p.s: this is like the one fic i didnt discuss with berry my love becos i changed the plan for cass's fic like 5 days before posting and wrote this thang in basically a few hours lol i forgot to yap my bad sorry 😔)

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Being a five hundred year old fae, not many thing’s excited Y/n. But there were also a lot of things that did excite Y/n, and one of them was watching her husband fumble around trying to make her smile.

That morning, Y/n had woken up with a raging headache, the pounding in her head beating her brain like a wardrum. Add to the mix her hormones were all over the place at not finding herself waking up in the comforting embrace of her giant teddy bear.

She had been in a pissy mood all morning when Cassian returned home after his training session with the valkyries that lasted longer than usual.

Y/n had been glaring down at her plate of fried eggs that were not as runny as she liked, having lost touch with cooking them for herself because Cassian insisted on making her breakfast everyday when he walked in through the door to their marital home.

Of course, he did not realise that she was in a very bad mood and tried to joke around, trying to get her spirits to lift as usually that seemed to work.

"Looks like someone woke on the wrong side of the bed today, huh?"

Y/n turned sharply to glare at her husband who did not even have the decency to apologise for not being there for her when she woke with the headache that still refused to leave before making fun of her. The fucking audacity.

She had only glared at him for a long moment before turning and leaving to their bedroom, but that moment was enough for Cassian to catch onto the fact that she was mad mad.

It also allowed Y/n a glimpse of panic flashing in his eyes, for which she had felt guilty but she knew she needed time to calm down before talking to him.

And now, it was evening, and the puppy eyes Cassian watched Y/n with were making her heart melt.

How could someone be this adorable?

He’d been at it the whole day. Bringing her her favourite pastries from a nearby bakery, running her a hot bath and slipping a note into the bedroom from under the door, making her dinner. When she had come down after a relaxing bath, he had even offered her a back massage.

His voice had been so light, but she heard the softness, the caution in it.

And Y/n had almost agreed to that massage that sounded so heavenly, but watching her husband be sad over her behaviour that morning ate her alive, and agreeing to let him cater to all her wants without realising that she was not mad at him felt like she was using him.

It had almost been an hour since he had offered, and since they’d had dinner and moved to the living room. She had tried to make conversation with him, but he seemed lost in his own mind, offering her short responses before his eyes turned distant again.

Y/n did not need that bond between her and her husband to know that he was trying to figure out what he’d done wrong.

"Cass?"

He blinked, then looked away from her, his ears darkening before he met her gaze again. "Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare."

Y/n raised a brow. "And so what if you did?" his brows furrowed, so Y/n hastened to add in case he thought she was still mad. "I’m your wife, your mate. You can look however much you want."

"I… yeah."

Y/n sighed, then stood from the couch and walked over to the oversized armchair adjacent to the fireplace that Cassian occupied and settled down in his lap, trying to focus on formulating a coherent sentence and not on the way his warm hands immediately wrapped around her waist.

He watched her quietly, his eyes slightly wide.

Though those beautiful eyes fluttered shut when Y/n leaned in and kissed him.

It was not a full on kiss, if she had to be honest. It was just a tiny peck, even that faint brush of their lips sending pleasant warmth shooting through her veins.

"Thank you-" Y/n paused, watching her husband blurt out the two words with her brows tugging together.

"What- what did you say?"

He blinked, blood climbing up his neck. "I… thank you?"

Y/n could not help it anymore. She threw her head back and laughed, unable to control the shaking of her body.

"Cass, are you thanking me for kissing you?"

"Yeah? You were mad at me-"

"I wasn’t."

He blinked again, then leaned back in the armchair. "What do you mean- why were you upset in the morning then?"

Y/n sighed, dropping her head into the junction between his shoulder and neck. "I had a raging headache when I woke up, and then I wanted to cuddle with you but you were gone. I was just upset at that."

He exhaled, raising his hands to run through Y/n’s unbound hair. "I’m sorry love, I had to go. You know the blood rite is coming soon, and a lot more priestesses and illyrian women want to partake this year. Az’s been running himself ragged, and Gwyn’s been so worried for him."

Y/n pulled back to meet his eyes. "Don’t apologise for being you, Cass. I know you love to help and train, and I am not mad when I am blessed with the most amazing husband in all of prythian."

Cassian’s eyes turned glassy at that, and he softly kissed her forehead.

"Thank you-"

Y/n groaned, standing up again.

"I swear to the mother if you say that one more time I’m going to bite you."

HIs expression morphed into a serious one, smile fading, and Y/n was once again reminded of his position in the night court. He looked more like his scheming general self that her sweet, adorable husband who pouted everytime Y/n did not give him five more minutes of cuddles.

"Y/n… thank you."

Y/n burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter as she watched him leap out of his preferred seat and bolted up the stairs to their bedroom.

"Oh you cunning ass!"

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Permanent Taglist: @berryzxx @sarawritestories @milswrites @throneofsmut

@daycourtofficial @sweetorangeblossom @secret-third-thing

Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686

@cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1

@hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21

@mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @lady-of-tearshed @starsinyourseyes

@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady

@lilah-asteria @girlswithimagination @garden-of-runar @girlswithimagination

@sunnyspycat @artists-ally @milswrites @kingdomofstarrynights

@berryzxx @buttermilktea11 @loving-and-dreaming @yucanbmylxdy

@mellowmusings

Cassian Taglist: @moonlwghts @samslittlespoon @nickishadow139

[bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove]

All Thanks to You - T.Nott

Summary - At first, Theo found her gifts sweet and kind but the longer they went on the more they annoyed him. He had the false assumption that she was chasing after his money and status but he was very wrong. He didn't realize how wrong he was until he overhears her sticking up for him in library.

Pairings - Theo Nott x Fem!Reader

Warnings - Use of Y/N, female reader, profanity, stress

Author's Note - I'm getting through all of my requests slowly but surely, this will probably be my first and last post of the day. I'll try my best to keep banging these out but unfortunately today was my last day of spring break and my vacation from work. Thank you for being patient!

Based off the request by an anon

Expect delays in my posting! My semester has started and I am taking 4 classes! Please be patient with me!

My requests are open!

my masterlist

Feedback is welcomed and encouraged!

Enjoy!

It was almost disgustingly obvious how much she liked Theo, except to the boy himself. It had taken him ages to figure it all out. He thought it was weird at first, he was always getting baked treats, a seat saved, books that he ended up loving and notes sent to him. Then, it started to annoy him, he thought that she was just trying to get to him because of his status and money. That of course wasn’t her intention but he didn’t figure that one out until he overheard a conversation, one revolving around him and all of his flaws and untrue rumors.

He was about to jump in himself until the sweet voice of the girl sending him all of these good things chimed in. 

“That’s not true at all. Theo is so kind and sweet. He cares so much about his friends and only acts cold to people like you because you believe and spread all of these bullshit lies. He’s not rude, he’s not unnerving, he especially isn’t ugly or gross to girls. He’s sweet and kind and loving and a great person and if you can’t see that, then don’t consider me your friend anymore,” She ranted before packing up her books and walking away, not expecting to bump into the boy himself. “Oh shit, I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going, I’ll get out of your way.”

“Wait,” He pleaded, having every expectation of her walking away but she stopped in her tracks and turned to face him, “Thank you for sticking up for me. I know I said your gifts were annoying but I don’t really think that. I honestly thought you were after me for money or to boost your status or something, I shouldn’t have assumed that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. You’re a good person Theo. I’d love to talk more but I really have to go study for the potions exam,” She told him.

“Study with me, I have an O in the class, I can help you.” The smile on her face brightened the room, making his heart skip a beat, a smile finding its way onto his own lips.

“Okay! I know the best spot in the library,” She chirped, grabbing his hand and leading him to the top floor into a quiet corner. The two of them studied together for nearly an hour before she spoke again, “How in the fuck do you make a draught of the living dead again? I can’t remember anything right now, my brain is fried,” She groaned, resting her forehead on crossed arms.

“You need a break, love. Let’s go to the kitchen and get some food from the house elves,” Theo offered.

“Won’t we get in trouble?”

“No, I’m friends with the prefects on duty, let’s go before they change shifts.”

The whole way down to the kitchen, the two were holding hands, neither of them had even noticed until Draco stopped them in the stairwell leading down to their destination. “What do we have here? The infamous Theodore Nott holding hands with his admirer?”

“Oh shove off, we need you to cover the kitchen while we get food,” Theo told his friend, still holding onto her hand even though they were caught.

“What’s in it for me?” Draco asked.

Before Theo could open his mouth, Y/N answered, “Pumpkin pasties, green apples and cauldron cakes. I see you eating those a lot so I assume you like them?”

“You assume correctly, fine, let’s go lovebirds.”

Holding up her end of the promise, she got Draco his favorite sweets, snacking with the two Slytherin boys. The blond boy had taken a liking to her, finding her genuine, funny and observational. The bond between Theo and Y/N had grown and only got stronger by the day. It was no surprise to any of their friends when they started dating not long after studying together. 

They continued to have study dates until the day of the Potions exam. She was extremely nervous and Theo was nervous for her. They didn’t get to see each other until dinner that day. Taking her usual spot next to Theo at the Slytherin table, casually sliding a paper to him. He furrowed his eyebrows before opening the paper, the red ink stared him right in the face.

“You got an O?! Bellissima, that's amazing! I’m so proud of you!” Theo exclaimed as he hugged her tightly, placing kisses on her head.

“All thanks to you, handsome,” She smiled at him.

Theo kissed her deeply on her lips causing groans and gags around them. Neither of them having a care in the world other than her O.

[diremoone]

sweet dedication | g. satoru

a year after his fight with sukuna, satoru finally gets to enjoy his birthday in peace, with no one but his beloved wife.

w — fluff, post-canon, lots of food :3, i incorporated a doggo sue me, vv short but hopefully sweet 🥰

Happy Birthday, My Beloved Satoru ❤️❤️

[ line divider credit to @/saradika ]

The last thing Satoru expected to smell coming through the front door of his home was a mixture of cinnamon and cherries. He shrugged off the jacket from his shoulders and curiously stepped further into his home. Upon seeing the kitchen table and every counter, his eyes went wide and mouth fell open.

On the kitchen table was at least four boxes of pizza, chicken wings, fried chicken, and brisket. Towards the end of the table farther fell the front door were sides, like green bean casserole and corn. His mouth began to water, his inner food junkie rearing it’s hungry head.

Across the counters and clearly in the oven were desserts, desserts, and more desserts — apple and cherry pie, cheesecake, fruit kebabs, crepes, mochi, brownies, kikufuku from Sendai. Gosh, what was the occasion?

And then the man sees above the hallway entrance that leads to the other rooms: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Satoru gapes.

Was it really December 7th?

He checks his phone and his brows raise in surprise. How in the world did he forget?

But you didn’t. You would’ve been the only one available to have made such a feast for him (even if it was mostly sweets), since everyone else was out on missions, still trying to tidy up Japan after the Culling Games’ toll.

He feels his heart swell with love and happiness, happy that you’ve remembered a date that he’s thrown to the side for so many years. He’s happy that you’ve done so much here for him, a genuine showcase of how much you really loved him and knew him by cooking all of his favorites. This must’ve taken you hours and hours to do; this being a clear proclamation of how much you’ve dedicated yourself to him and to knowing him.

“Babe?” he calls out to open air. No response. He’s smart by checking the kitchen first; you’d never leave cooking food unattended.

Satoru’s mouth quirks up into a sweet smile at the sight of passed out, sitting on the kitchen floor with your inseparable corgi Maple snoozing away right next to you. Although he squints at the sight of your neck lolled to the side in the corner of the cabinets. That didn’t look comfortable at all.

He’s not sure if he should take you to bed or wake you up right now. After a moment, he decides the former. But as soon as you’re scooped up and secured against his broad chest, your eyes flutter open. Maple wakes up too, barking and wiggling her butt, happy to see her dad.

“Oh, my god. Satoru!”

He winks. “The one and only baby.”

Your brain has always been fast about remembering all of the events prior to any sort of sleep or nap you’ve had. This time was no different, and he chuckles when you begin to groan and complain about your surprise being ruined.

“God, I can’t believe I fell asleep! How does one even sleep on the kitchen floor. My ass hurts, Jesus,” you complain. You burrow your head into the crook of his neck in embarrassment as he carries you to the couch and sits down with you on his lap. Maple bounds up behind him and miraculously uses her little legs to hop up on the couch. Satoru chuckles and takes a moment to briefly give her belly rubs.

“Thank you for trying to make this day special for me,” your ‘Toru says. It’s sweet, the tone of his voice, filled with love and adoration. “Don’t feel bad. That looks like a lot of cooking you did, so it’s only natural you’d fall asleep at some point. So don’t beat yourself up over it, okay?”

You grumble but nod anyway. It was true. You’d been awake ever since he’d left earlier this morning, putting the pedal to the floor on your attempt to swamp the love of your life with all of his favorite foods made by hand.

“I love you, Satoru,” you mumble, still tired and sleepy from overextending yourself.

“I love you, too, baby.” His lips press a long kiss to the side of your temple. He pulls away to gaze down into your eyes, chuckles escaping him again at seeing the sleepy haze in them. “Thank you for trying to make my special day special.”

“But I still didn’t get to surprise you,” you complain.

“I wasn’t expecting it when I came home, especially now with everything going on. I think that’s a big enough surprise for me,” he argues. “So come on, cheer up! We have some delicious delicious food to eat made by my sweet, adorable, wonderful wifey-poo! Except the pizza of course!”

You deadpan. “Call me that again and I’ll smash the strawberry shortcake I made as your birthday cake in that expensive jacket you bought last week.”

Satoru gasps dramatically in horror.

“You wouldn’t!”

“Try me.”

“Not if I eat it first!”

taglist:

@vagabond-umlaut @heresan @4sat0ruu and @/all my satoru lovers also i shouldn’t have taken that nap otherwise this taglist would be longer lmaoo

let’s raise a glass to this man who deserves the entire fucking world

[ourlittleuluru]

In summary, this memory was pretty good! It was so... SO MUCH. It immediately fried my brain half way through /@A@;;;;; It was insane. This memory (and the Unreturned Traveller) both left little to no room for any sort of imagination (,,>﹏<,,)

I may have some reservations about certain things with like pacing and such, but I get what they're going for (though at the same time I can't help but feel like they're also doing this spicy banner and heavy leaning on Xavier's jealous tendency in response to much of the vocal fandom really wanting it)

I won't say I love this card as much as the others but I see the appeal and still appreciate it~ I do still love the little moments in the cards and I'll put my trust with the writers still! (writers who are also fanfic authors, seriously... the wording they used during the kindled part just screams fanfic to me! 😂)

(ヘ･_･)ヘ┳━┳ into the Read-more it goes as usual! Fair warning. Long post is LONG (as per usual but at least it's not like branch story long lmao)

All in all this memory reaaaaally highlights a lot of Xavier's flaws, in a good way!

On one hand (i'm pretty sure this happened after 21 Days) now that Xavier has worked on expressing himself more with MC, he's letting the side that he's kept under wraps, out. This resulted with the Xavier we see in this memory. The insecurity, afraid that he'll lose MC-not because she'll die-but just losing out on any sort of time with her (maybe because he's also running on limited time???? angst potential????!), and his little more childish tendency to feel jealous.

He's just so baby 😭🥺 but also Xavier! You'll be okay! MC isn't going anywhere!!

For the first half of the date, I felt like there was some... unanswered questions? Maybe it's for us to figure it out. But I also felt that it was feeling a liiiiittle bit rushed?

Pretty much it seems the starting trigger for Xavier's jealousy began right in the first 3 minutes. Honestly felt that it could've been expanded on a little more, showcasing how it feels like MC would be snatched away from him 🤔 But since I'm sure there's a count to how long the dates should be, I guess they opted for this instead ｢( • ﾍ •) Which also still makes sense enough. But also just reminds me of the Tender Moment - Winter's Sun, where MC needs to go to a networking event and he's such a huge baby about it 😂

I think it's more than a little, MC X'DDD

This part though 🥺 The fact MC has given him access to their own place. And yet Xavier is still so proper about it. Such a gentleman uwu

MC had full faith and trust in Xavier. And Xavier, aware of it, but still would seek consent first. To which, after he has MC's consent, Xavier instead will make sure that MC knows it's him first. The care and thought in this 😭😭😭💖

HE'S LITERALLY PLAYING OUT THAT MEME I CAN'T EVEN 🤣

"You're the most jealous man I know" " You know other men?"

Ngl seeing this written where there's storm or dark clouds above Xavier's head is just funny because that's literally the vision 🤣 he's such an open book when it comes to MC

Him just wanting to hold onto MC at every opportunity even when people are around (/ω＼)

First time meeting Charlie and Xavier was still polite enough... the 2nd time tho... 😂

Poor Charlie! Of all people he first meet, it had to be Xavier and inciting his jealous streak X'D and he's oblivious to it... goodness

The way MC be pushing his buttons to figure out her suspicions on his mood tho 😭 and then the way Xavier literally be pouting in his voice when he says if there's other neighbours in the future that'll do things with her is just... BABY 🥺

Xavier essentially just be slowly putting his walls down, being more indulgent in showing his feelings. And the way he asks MC to see if they are okay with it 🥺

He's just seeking out for MC's reassurance at this point

How many times has some sort of sweet fruit been mentioned whenever it's them getting intimate >w< But this guy just casually leaving MC hanging on the edge.... wow 👀 he definitely knows what he's doing

Same MC... Same... u-u

Honestly, yes 🤣 Like sir, you have centuries and loved reading and also has shown to know so much. A bit difficult to assume you HADN'T ALREADY heard of it before

But the lines right after that just had me like 🥺 Imagine the times he just sat there alone, gazing. Thinking about the things that had passed. About how uneventful or how his life lacked some sort of anchor. His only reason for continuing his days is finding a way to deal with Philos's core and bringing the Backtrackers home. Or maybe to go to Uluru... stuff like that

Ngl... this line from MC had me be like ??????? cuz it made no sense to me;;; Not sure if it's just me not getting it lol.

But I went to look up the CN version and it's (very, very roughly) more along the lines of "If there's no fire, nothing would explode even with a fuse".

Interestingly enough, Xavier seems to avoid answering it? It also happened later, when MC tried to understand Xavier's change. I wonder why he avoided it. out of ego? inability to admit it because it'll be embarrassing? he doesn't know how to put it in words?

Anyways

The fact they be having such a sweet intimate moment and Mr neighbour Charlie came busting in. The face Xavier has. He couldn't even contain his emotions 🤣 thankfully he didn't need to run for his life.

Xavier really be staring him down at the side there 🤣🤣🤣 And Xavier just... 😭 I can't even with this baby. Charlie please read the room there if you know what's good for you...!

The way he just casually lies about this like....! Xavier please 🤣 One can tell he's trying to find a way to subtly tell Charlie to leave them alone I guess but you can tell he's also just letting his temper get the better of him and it came out this way

Okay this part of the whole date was like one of the biggest point to me :C

The way he has worded "do you want me to go back to how I was before?" was very much in a way referencing to one of their things about "every version of them". And the way that line was worded also reeked of Xavier's uncertainty. He was worried there. Was it too much? Is it going to end up driving MC away from him? MC of course did their best to try and ease his worry. It wasn't so much MC wanting Xavier to be how he was before but they just want to understand him more.

And the way Xavier just turns around and proceeds to take it out on the tree instead 😭😭😭😭 Xavier the tree is innocent...! That aside, he's definitely struggling to figure his own feelings out but that childish temper just pretty much got into his head so much that he couldn't keep his usual more level-headedness.

Also MC, did you really HAVE to kick him on his ass just to get his attention? 🤣 Man's angy enough and that definitely cranked his angy up to a 110

The way Xavier nuzzles saying he doesn't know (what else to suggest to help him calm down) was 🥺 he was needy and desperate at that point and he really didn't know how to deal with his emotion like... UGH muh heart

And MC THE INSTIGATOR...! The real freak fr 🤣😭 setting him off to go down the spicy route 😏 of course he's gonna respond in kind

MC gripping and stroking his chin like this 😩

and now that he knows he's allow to... man... MC just unleashed his desire

Him just smirking the rest of the way through.... asdfghjkl

LIKE HELP PLEASE (⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)

The insane animation and voice acting for these round of cards was.... inasne... even the EN side has upped their game!

The kindled wasn't too long but boy did it show SO MUCH. AND THE SPICINESS WASN'T JUST IN THE KINDLED LIKE ASDFGHJKL

IT WENT BEYOND

And so much longer than I ever thought. Like after a short fade to black was the usual, so I was expecting that but OH NO NOT THIS TIME LIKE... WRITERS PLEASE ( //>///<//) MY SANITY WAS NOT ABLE TO TANK THAT

the devs making full use of their blended animation state machine with the spicy after-kindled scenario was insane. It's like on a whole new level of expressing their emotion. And the sweat...?! THE SWEAT! the heavy breathing too like... (๑/////๑ " )

You can't tell me this isn't totally a line used so much in fanfics LMAO

🥺 This. When he said "Don't go..." also screamed to me that he was afraid. He still was. The fleeting moments his has with MC, he was scared it'll just disappear

🥺🥺😭😭😭

ASDFGHJKL when this part came up I had to freak the heck out 🤣 jumpscared fr

JUST HOW MUCH WERE THEY GOING AT IT FOR?! 😭 like rabbits??

And him admitting that he's afraid, although indirectly (also sir, you're not answering the question again T^T)

And the way MC says "I know" here. It says so much about how they understand each other more than themselves at this point like 😭

MC reassuring Xavier after this as well, to make sure he understands and knows that he's not alone, and he won't be 🥺

I... what do I even say about this இ௰இ I'm sure there's something to say but brain not braining

And the return of their little domestic moments uwu💖

This had me cackling 🤣 One can never be too careful when Xavier's in the kitchen

And more little things to signify them as a pair. Filling their homes with pieces of each other

And Xavier putting the words he couldn't say into a card like... 😭💖

Him being surprised at himself for how much feelings he has held and how much more there still is. And despite all that he makes sure to ask MC if they'd be okay with it. Xavier always checking in on MC is just precious. 🥺 ensuring they're both on the same page. Be it about work, about the progress of their relationship. It's always about that. Being together and in the same step.

I previously had some reservations about how this memory was resolved but looking back at it again, Xavier's trying to show it in his own way and MC understood and also responded in a way that it's on the same page as him. Alongside with a small little banter to end it uwu

I can't wait to see how their relationship develops further. If and when Xavier grows to be more secure and knowing that MC won't leave him. I can imagine him being a lot more of a menace than he already is. Even if he gets a little jealous, he won't be insecure about it anymore and just kinda does his lil pouty baby act on purpose. That kind of thing! This might just be my own preference speaking but... yea •ᴗ•

[yushi-ni]

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ OH SION 🌷🫧🧸 hungry kisses

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ masterlist 🧚🏼‍♀️✨🩵

oh sion - (heated) make out sessions with bf sion. intimacy but no full on swexc time. mentions of; choking. 18+ (?) but also not because everyone is free to read ofcooourse, just stating the 18+ to show it consists some more mature practice of the arts of clouds and rain, hehe. ᯓᡣ𐭩 the first part of the poll winning; heated make out sessions with onriyu. ✨✨ i decided to make 3 separate posts because miss girl got carried away while writing again so it got a bit longer than she intended to do. (i am miss girl🙂‍↕️🖐🏻) BUT!! that only means there is more fun reading time for you guys hihihi. also, any type of feedback - comments - compliments (🤭 if you feel funky enough) are highly appreciated as i would love to hear what you think about my writing style or whatever. i did not proofread !! as i was writing i just lowkey got lost in thoughts so i was a bit brain fried when i finished oopsies 🎀🫧🌷🌷🌷 HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!!

──୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ──

୨ৎ sion LOVES kissing you. quick little pecks, long lingering kisses following your lips with his; not being able to pull away from you, fun kisses on your cheeks or a gentle kiss on the back of your hand as a way of showing subtle affection in public. he loves it all, he likes the romantic energy that comes with it but above all he is absolutely obsessed with locking his lips with yours in ways his mind starts turning into a big foggy mess. he just cannot help but love the feeling of your lips on his. most of the times, a quick kiss leads to him wanting more.

୨ৎ sometimes, a little fun make out session is enough to satisfy sion and his needs to be close to you and feel you. but on other days, he just gets carried away by the taste of your lips. definitely a rough kisser, when the time is right, and not afraid to show dominance in such moments. the second he kisses you, you can already tell what kind of mood he is in. quick to swipe his tongue across your lips, asking for entrance and sighs in your mouth as he just can't help himself. some days, you feel 'playful' and try to fight (with your tongues) for dominance but both you and him know you won't win anyways. you just like pushing his buttons a bit to make him lose his mind even more.

୨ৎ standing, sitting, laying down? he doesn't care as long as he can hold as close as possible, but if he could pick a time and place?? it would definitely be a 'him sitting down with you straddling his lap' kind of position. his hands are all over your body as he just wants to touch all of you. fingers glazing over the hem of your shirt as his hands quickly disappear under your shirt to feel your skin on his. 1000000% an ass grabber while making out, so you being on top of him makes it easy access for him. as things get more heated quickly, he cannot help but moan into the kiss. he gets carried away easily because the world around him just simply stops moving in such moments. nothing matters to him except the feeling of your lips on his.

୨ৎ when he gets really into it and yearns for more (ahum.. swexc hexc time.. ahum) his hands find their way around your neck and squeeze the air out of your throat. cannot help the smile (read; smirk) on his face when you gasp for air. simply put; cute - caring sion definitely has his different ways when it comes to making love with your lips.

── .✦ ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ ༝༚༝༚ 🩵🧚🏼‍♀️🫧💌🐰

you smile as you put your phone down on the table. waiting for your bf to come home after a long day of work, you cannot help but feel the excitement bubbling inside of you now that he texted he was on his way. you finished work a couple hours ago as you were lucky enough to be sent home a bit earlier than usual. freshly showered and cozy in your (read; your boyfriends hihi) hoodie, all you needed was your bf to just finish off the day well.

as you were busy in the kitchen, making an easy and quick 10 minutes pasta dish for your bf, you did not hear the door open and close again as sion made his way home as fast as he possibly could. after a whole day of practice, meetings and a bunch of content shooting schedules, there was nothing that he wanted more than just coming home to you. softly laughing at the way you were so cutely lost in your own little world, he made his presence known to you as you snapped out of your own thoughts and smiled at your bf who was standing a few feet away from you. "hiiii omg i didn't even hear you come in" you said as your smile only grew bigger as your bf came closer. standing behind you, his arms find their way around your waist, while his head rests in the crook of your neck. "hi baby, i missed you" he says as he gives small pecks on the exposed skin on your neck. "smells so gooood" his arms tighten around your body as he, almost impossibly, holds you closer to him. "the food? or the perfume on my clothes that was gifted to the owner of this hoodie by his amazing gf??" you said as you felt your bf giggling in your neck; "mmmh both but you definitely smell better" he says as he places one last kiss before he spins you around to face him.

"nooo wait i am not finished yet!!!!" you said as you were about to turn around again. "the food can wait, it won't set on fire if you let it be for one more minute" he grabs your hand as he placed the cooking spoon on the counter, intertwining your hand with his as his other hand finds its place on your jaw. he cannot hold back his (famous) laugh as you whined about the food again. "i haven't seen my pretty girl all day and the only thing she cares about is the pasta" sion laughs as he takes your other hand too, bringing both arms up to put them around him neck. crossing your arms behind his neck, sions hands find their place on both sides of your body as he softly squeezes your skin. "the pasta is made with looove tho" you said as you emphasized the word 'love' with a funny little voice. "mmh is that so??" your bf asks as he steps forward to close the little teeny tiny space between you. "mhmh," you said ; "oh! and my favorite chili seasoning!! literally lifts up the whole thing to an absolute masterpiece!!" sion laughs (known for being a literal ijbol king there isn't much that would not make him at least let out a little giggle but) your humor and ways to break through the most tense settings, is definitely something that makes him fall in love with you more and more. "ahhhh i missed you y/n, today felt like an eternity" your bf sighs as his face disappears in the comfortable space in the crook of your neck. as if it was made for him. "i missed you too baby" you wrapped your arms a bit tighter around his neck as you can feel sion starting to slowly kiss his way up your neck.

his kisses soon turn into open mouthed kisses as he softly sucks on the soft skin, right above the collar of your hoodie. you stretch your head out a bit more to give him more access to your neck, one of your hands finding your way to his hair as you softly brush through his hair. "mmh i really missed you baby. i couldn't wait to be home" sion hummed into your skin. focusing his attention to the sensitive part of your neck, you couldn't help the little moan that came out of your mouth as the feeling of his lips working its way on your skin was so strong yet so soft. sion, smirking into your skin, puts a bit more pressure as his kisses turn a bit more slobby, definitely leaving marks for you to find tomorrow morning. grabbing a fist full of his hair, you slighty tug his hair, wanting to feel your lips on his, he pulls back to look at you before closing the gap between you and locking your lips with his own.

as your lips almost naturally move as one, you feel sions hands move up and down your sides before resting on your ass. pulling you slightly up and with that, deeper into the kiss, both his hands squeeze your ass. you gasp into his mouth and sion quickly brushes his tongue over your lips before he enters your mouth to find your own tongue with his. lips locked and fighting for dominance, the kiss gets more intense with every passing second. sion doesn't slow down for even a slight moment as his hands find their way under your clothes. desperately in need to feel you even closer than you already are, he lifts you up and places you on the kitchen counter. positioning himself in between your legs, you are quick to cross your legs behind his back to lock him in and close to your body.

his hands caressed the skin on your thighs, as they soon find their way back to the line between your lower back and ass, his lips slightly swollen and his usually soft eyes, now almost sultry staring back into yours. you brush his hair out of his face as you pull his face back to lock your lips again. almost immediately your tongues are back in an almost perfect synced motion, as your hands naturally grasp his hair. moaning into the kiss, sions hands are starting to move around, wanting to feel your skin on his. lifting your hoodie up enough for his hands to go underneath, you softly gasp at the feeling of his cold hands on your skin as he moves his hands from the hem of your top back to your ass. he pushes past the waistband of your shorts, letting his hands wander over the exposed skin of your ass before he pushes you to sit on the far end of the counter.

now having your bodies almost vertically pressed against each other you pull back slightly to catch your breath. sion not wasting any second thought on leaning down to kiss your neck again, groans softly as you push his face deeper into your skin. wanting to feel more of him. you can't help the sound leaving your mouth as your boyfriends tongue circles around your skin in a firm way. "i didn't know you missed me that much" you playfully said as you pulled his head back up to see his face on eye level again. "...i.." - "... missed you.." - "... much and much.." - "... more than this.." he said in between kisses. sion leans his forehead against yours as he takes a second to look you in your eyes, he smiles; "i don't think i tell you enough how much i love you y/n" your hands caress his cheeks before you gently hold his head in your hands, by his jaw; "i love you too sion" you can't help but smile as your bf mirrors the same look on his face.

taking his own bottom lip between his teeth, he eyes dart from your eyes to your lips before he, once again, closes the distance between your lips. soft, gentle kisses as if he wants to tell you how much he actually loves you through his kiss. passionately moving your lips as one, the feeling in your stomach gets stronger and more intense. it's as if you can feel the butterflies in your stomach but at the same time you cannot suppress the needy - yearning feeling for more. taking it into your own 'hands' you are the one swiping your tongue over sions lips, silently asking for entrance which he gladly gives you. letting you be the driving force for once, he moves his lips to the pace you lead him. with your hands in his hair, your body so close to his and your tongue moving with his own, he cannot help the burning sensation in his body as he can feel his heart beating harder and harder through his chest. his hands finding their way to your ass he pushes your lower body impossibly closer to his own. moaning into the kiss as he feels your hips rolling onto his lower body. "..fuck y/n..." as sion pulls back slightly for air, you now take your turn to focus your attention on his neck.

softly sucking and licking your way up and down his neck, you soon find the weak spot that almost literally has your bf curling his toes every time. sion, getting more vocally worked up, places his hand right behind you on the counter to slightly support himself as the feeling of your lips on his neck is getting more intense; "..ah..fuck baby.." he moans as you sucked on the exact spot a little harder; "..y/n..." not being able to form a full sentence, the almost burning tingling feeling inside takes over his complete body as he forces his eyes closed while biting his lip to hold back the sounds leaving his mouth.

almost weak to your touch, he forcefully graps a fist full of your hair as he pulls your lips away from his neck. not giving you any second to catch your own breath, he already has his lips on yours, again. with a lot more force and lust in the kiss you can feel yourself starting to breathe more heavily as the burning knot in your stomach comes back and a lot stronger than before. head completely foggy because of the intensity of your boyfriends effect on you, you roll your hips once more. just as desperate for more friction as you are, the intimate tension was rushing through sions body as well. as you rolled your hips a second time, your boyfriend grabs a hold on your ass again as he pushes you onto his lower body with a bit more force. you let out a deep moan as you feel the big bulge in his pants. sion, who parts away from your lips for a slight second, lips still attached by the string of saliva, steps back a tiny bit so he can pull you forward a bit more. so now you sit on the countertop with only half your ass, your boyfriend pushes you slightly so you can lean back a little bit. sion places one hand behind you, to support both you and him, and his other one finds it way to your lower back as he pushes his hand into your skin a bit so you slightly arch your back. now having more free movement with his own body, he moves his hips so his lower abdomen meet with your now throbbing private part. as a moan left your mouth, sion forced his tongue down your throat again as he kept moving his hips onto yours. as the tent in his pants was getting harder and harder, both of you were soon turning into a moaning mess. moving your own hips forward to meet his, the building knot in your lower abdomen was getting harder and harder to hold back. sion, as desperate as you, forced your attention to the way his lips were still attached to yours as he started moving his tongue in a quicker pace. trying to distract himself from the intense pressure his growing erection was forming in his pants, he took his free hand to spread your leg from the other a bit more. leaning forward to put more of his body weight onto yours. to stop you from moving too much, he fully immersed himself into the now sloppy kiss.

fighting for dominance, he took your bottom lip in between his teeth as he slightly bit your lips. smirking into your mouth, as he could feel the hitched breath you let out. he, himself barely able to keep up with the rushed feeling of his neediness to taste and feel you, takes over him as his breathe slowly gets more and more stuck in his throat. you throw your legs around him once more and cross your legs behind his back as you took your hands from his hair. placing one behind you, to support yourself completely as your other hand finds it way between both your lower abdomen. almost able to feel the heat come off your own throbbing parts, you place your hand over the rock hard bulge that formed in his pants. taking his clothed dick in your hand you give it a big stroke and sion completely loses his grip and balance on you. lips forcefully leaving yours, a short breathed moan left his mouth. before he could even take a second to catch his breath, you start stroking his clothed dick as sion tries to regain himself again, soft moans and hushed groans leaving his lips. "...mhh fuck y/n.. baby.." you follow the outline of his manshood as sion takes your hand in his, up to the waistband of his pants. he just needs to feel your hand around his dick, not able to take it any longer. before he could put your hands into his own pants, you pull your hand back.

seeing eye to eye again, his eyes still hungry for your love now with a slight look of confusion - surprise, you smile at your bf while caressing his cheek slightly. giving him a little kiss on his lips to kiss away the almost baffled look on his face, you put your hands on his chest to gently push him away from you. eyes scanning yours to see if he did something that crossed the line. "baby..? y/n, what's wrong?" he says in a soft whisper. he was unsure if he had done anything to upset you so suddenly, you guys had made out countless times and took it further even more times than he could possibly count. upon the little grin on your face, it was clear that this wasn't the case. letting your hands trade down from his jaw to his shoulders, arms and then his hands. he took a small step back so you could get off the counter. "you can wait, i didn't cook dinner for you just to let it go to waste." you stepped aside with a satisfied yet playful smirk on your face.

sion, who needs a few seconds to get what was happening. whined as he realized you were working him up on purpose. "nooo.. baby that's so unfair.. cmon" he grabbed your arm as he turned you around on your spot; "you can't do this please baby don't leave me hanging!!!" he 'offensively' chuckled as he tried to get your attention back to him. "what about my pasta!!! we should eat, you must be so hungry after a whole day of work!!!" sion, his work day already long forgotten, bit his lip to suppress one of his famous soft laughs as he came to face the reality that you were not planning on finishing the problem in his pants, a problem you caused. "your pasta?? baby what about me" he chuckled as he grabbed your hands to turn your full attention towards him. "what about you baby?" you said as you over exaggeratedly fluttered your eye lashes at your bf, shooting him an innocent yet mischievous look. "you will be the death of me y/n" sion says as he looks down at you, the only girl that could ever put his usual leading - authoritatively self into place like this. you laugh softly, "food will be ready soon, you really need to try my new chili seasoning!!!!" you said as you turned around to stir the pot.

sion throws his head back in slight disbelief as he laughs. stepping forward to give you a back hug, he rubs his still clothed erection against your ass as he feels you pushing your hips back slightly. while smirking, which your bf can't see, you keep stirring the food in the pan. "ok baby, i see how this is, you win now, but i am not done with you yet" sion gives a quick peck on your neck as he whispers in your ear; "two can play this game baby" he let's go of you as he makes his way to the bathroom across the hall. fixing the little problem you left him with. you, smiling to yourself, start plating up the food for you and your bf. yes, your bf might be the one manhandling things his way 9/10 times, but knowing you have this effect on him, lowkey makes your self esteem go through the roof. as you put your plates down on the table, you call out for your bf; "babbyyyyy pasta is ready!!!!!" you silently giggle to yourself as you hear your boyfriends low, muffled moans coming from the bathroom. pressing your thighs together to suppress the lingering feeling in between your own legs, you know you are in for a long night.

[bandgie]

Ghost in the Night

Ghostface!Jeongin x fem!reader

AU 1 | AU 2

synopsis: Keep your doors locks, shut your windows, don't go outside after sundown. Rules were quickly put in place when a killer, known as 'Ghostface,' began terrorizing your city. You listened to all these rules until finals night, but still, there's no way in hell Ghostface could get to you. Right?

warnings: MDNI 18+, DUBCON/NONCON, breaking an entry, implied kidnapping, PIV, forced oral (m! receiving), face slapping, blood/murder, face fucking, slight pain during sex (no prep) crying/begging, cumming inside, degrading words (slut, bitch, etc), not proofread,

4.1k words shheesshhh

Another college student was found dead. Their throat slashed along with their stomach. The police found them in their apartment with the words 'COME FIND ME' smeared on the walls with blood. The story along made you queasy. This killer, who the town nicknamed Ghostface, has been on a spree for about two weeks now. It really happened out of the blue. One day, you're attending college parties, and the next, you're too scared to even shop for necessities.

Rumors began to speculate about who it could be. Many people thought it was the rival university, some thought it was the son of the dean who couldn't get into the school, most thought it was just a psycho. The question remained though, why did Ghostface only go after college students?

Your friends dropped out of college upon hearing the news. They urged you to do the same, but you were so close to graduating that you decided to push through. After all, most of the students attacked were sorority or frats, you weren't either of them. If you kept your head down, didn't attend the stupid parties students kept throwing because they liked the thrill, you would be fine.

So here you were, on the second floor of the library late at night. You're thankful your library had open hours until midnight, it was great for last minute studying. The librarian was very friendly, even offering to drive you home. "I hear about what's been happening," she tells you as she rubs her trails hands.

You shake your head, "Thank you for your concern. I really don't wanna waste your time, I'll be fine." She eyes you cautiously, as if hoping you'd second guess yourself and take her offer. When you don't, she sighs. "Fine, deary. You be safe out there." You nod your head and watch her descend back to her from post.

-

A few hours pass before you decide to head home, your brain fried from all the studying. You wave the librarian a goodbye and exit the doors, greeted with the moon and stars in the sky. Had there not been a killer loose, you would have loved to admire the view. It's a blood moon tonight, and you pray that it's a good omen.

While walking back to your dorm, you couldn't help but hear music blasting. You pass one of the frat dorms, watching as people passed out in the front lawns and other vomiting. You grimaced at the sight. How could they party like this when people were being brutally murdered? You ignored their hollers and whistles to continue on your path.

"Hey!" One of them shouts at you. You ignore it, walking faster to get to your safe place. "Hey! I'm calling you!" Still, you maintain your pace. If you keep walking fast enough, you'll be able to-

"Damn girl! I'm tryna talk to you," the guy had caught up to you. He held you by your upper arms stinking of booze. You turned to face him in an attempt to intimidate him, "I'm not interested." You try your best to sneer, but he only laughs. "Never said I wanted you to be. I was just gonna say you shouldn't be walking all alone." His ominous statement send chills down your spine.

"I appreciate you tryna be my hero, but like I said, I'm not interested." You sternness throws him off, and he quickly lets go of your arm. "Bitch," he mumbles, "I was just tryna help." You don't bother replying, quickly turning around to escape his presence. You can't trust anyone, you can't take your chances.

You make a sharp turn, hoping that you're out of his sight. It doesn't take long to hear the familiar steps behind you. Rather than ignoring him this time, you turn around quickly to confront him. "Didn't you fucking hear me? I said-" You stop yourself. You were fully excepting to see his drunk ass behind you, but instead your faced with nothing.

You shiver, whipping back around to scurry home. It was just the wind, you think. You can feel your heartbeat in your chest, feel the blood that pumps in your veins. No no no, calm down. You're fine. There's nothing here. Even while you try to relax your heartbeat, you start hearing the footsteps again.

Too scared to turn around, you run. Maybe there's nothing behind you at all. Maybe you're running like a manic only scaring yourself more. It doesn't matter though, you're filled with too much fear to think rationally.

Another turn, and you can see your dorm complex in the distance. You stop running as fast, convinced that you're just overreacting. You do keep a fast walk though, still unsure if you could really walk so carelessly. Your gaze is up in the sky, watching how the moon gets bigger and bigger.

The sky provides a good amount of light as you finally make your way to the front door as your house. You reach for your keys only to see that your front door is already open. Your eyebrows raise, unsure if your roommate just got home and forgot to close the door. You push it open, taking a peek. The lights are off and it's quiet. Perhaps they just forgot and went to sleep.

You walk in and flick on the light, setting your bag down. It's not until your eyes are better adjusted in the lighting that you see your roommate. She's hunched over, limp on the couch as if she was waiting for you. You gasp at her, jumping slightly.

"Oh my god!" You breathe. "Jesus Christ you scared the shit outta me." You take steps towards her waiting for her response. There is none. "Hey, girl you good?" You reach out to grasp her shoulder and the little contact makes her fall on the ground. It's then that you see the blood that pool on the couch, how easily her head lolls to the side.

You fall to the ground with her, flipping her around to see a giant slash across her neck. Her eyes are wide with fear, her mouth open as if she was screaming. You can't help but try to shake her despite it being in vain, tears falling down your face. You're so caught up in your mourning that you don't hear the footsteps that come towards you.

A shadow hovers over you, and you turn around to see the familiar descriptions you've seen in the news. A black cloak, gloved hands, a white mask with a permanent open mouth. You cry even harder upon the sight. A part of you doesn't think it's real, that it's all just a sick dream you're having. Even as the killer kneels down towards you to stare at your face, you pray it's just a nightmare.

"I had to come pretty quick, you were almost home," it speaks. You don't really register what he's saying. He straightens back up, "You know, I also killed that dude back there that grabbed you. Guys like that piss me off. They have no respect for personal space ya know what I mean?" Perhaps he said that as a joke, considering this man literally killed your roommate mere moments ago.

"Please," your voice is horse and thick with emotion. "I don't want-want to die." You start sobbing, bloody hands cradling your face in an attempt to comfort yourself. The masked man cocks his head to side, seemingly intrigued by your cries. "You think I'm gonna kill you?" He doesn't wait for an answer, yanking your head up by your hair. You whimper and nod, vision blurry with tears.

You try begging more, but all that comes out are garbles sentences and pathetic wails. Ghostface is rather enjoying the show, smiling behind his mask. "You've got a good crying face. Keep begging," his grip tightens on your hair. You do, and honestly he didn't even need to ask. In the midst of your sobs, you can feel the cold edge of something sharp against your throat. You feel it slowly dig into your neck, but not hard enough to break the skin.

The contact makes you freeze up, eyes wide with absolute terror. Ghostface literally moans at the sight. "Fuck, I love that look." He makes the knife dances around your neck, staring at how your pupils dilate. Pleasurable shivers travel his body, and he can feel the blood traveling to his cock. Killing you now would be a waste, he should at least have some fun first.

He removes the knife from your neck throws it across the room. You jump at the clattering noise, almost missing how he uses his now free hand to yank his pants down. On your knees, your face-to-dick with his half hard on. You almost throw up at the realization, eyes staring into the masks eyes pleading.

He shoves his crotch closer to your face, smearing his cock on your face. You keep your mouth closed, determined to keep your dignity intact. Ghostface doesn't like this, and pulls your hair back so hard you think you'll go bald. "You think this is a fucking game?" He forces you to look at him while he speaks. "You wanna end up like your bitch roommate? Huh?" You shake your head as you sob.

"That's what I fuckin' thought, get to work slut."

You don't think you can manage to even keep your mouth open with how violently your sobbing, but Ghostface doesn't wait for you to open up all the way. He quickly shoves his half hard in your mouth. You wrap your lips around it, trying your best not to gag. A part of you thinks about biting down on him, and he must see a glint in your eyes because he yanks your face off him.

The force of his pull makes you cry out, but he responds by slapping you hard across the face with his free hand. Pain surges in your face, and you can't help the continuous tears that fall. "If you fucking bite me, I'll make you choke on your own insides," he threatens. If it wasn't for the corpse of your roommate mere feet away, you would still believe him because of the look in his eye.

"I won't!" You speak through your cries. "I promise I promise just please don't hurt me." Ghostface smiles under his mask, giving your cheeks three more light slaps before shoving your face back on his cock. Determined to prove your life is worthy, you stick your tongue out to lick his underside. You can tell he surprised by the way his breath hitches.

You let your lips run over his length along with your tongue. Salvia quickly begins to pool in your mouth, and you spit on his dick. You carefully reach your hands up, scared that he might slap you again. You can tell he's watching with judgement as you grab the base of his cock with one of your hands. Your other one steads on your thigh as you let your mouth fall open.

Working in one fluid motion, you bob your head to the speed of your hand. His cock is smooth, save for the pulsating of his veins. He's completely hard now, and it's pretty difficult to get more than half his girth between your lips. Your hands become sticky with precum and spit. You can feel how your drool dibbles down your cheeks as you continue to take him in your mouth.

Now there's two hands in your hair, and he's started pull you closer and closer to him. A particular thrust of his hips has you gagging, nearly coughing his cock out. He doesn't let you pull him out, instead forcing you to keep a couple inches in. You're making noises that both sound like moaning and suffocating, and it turns him on a lot more than he'd like to admit.

Watching you try your best to suck his cock like your life depends on it makes him feel alive because, well, your life does depend on it. You doe eyes wide with fear and concentration amuses him, makes him feel almost bad for the fact that he's still going to kill you when you're done. Not to mention your lips, how swollen and red they are from pleasuring him.

A part of him wishes he could take his mask off, make you look him in the eyes rather than his mask. The clear view could possible make him cum quickly in your mouth. Instead, Ghostface makes do with your current state. You're dripping in him and your own liquids, hands feverishly moving easily in the slobber.

All you and him can hear are your choked sobs, wet sucking, and the occasional movement of his hips hitting your face. To both of your shock, you find yourself getting aroused by his cock in your mouth. The fear in your stomach slowly begins to bubble into desire. Your panties getting slightly damp. You can't stop yourself as you clench you thighs together to get some friction.

You try to convince yourself that it's normal to get like this in a life or death situation. There's been cases of people's brain getting so scared that it gets sexually stimulated. You pray that this is the case now because you're starting to think how pretty this man's moans is. He sounds breathy, needy, desperate. Like he hasn't gotten much action in a while, or at least not to this extent.

A self-defense mechanism, you try to tell yourself as your pussy begins to seep through your underwear.

Ghostface suddenly thrusts his hips into your face, his cock hitting your throat deep. You throat contracts around him, and the pressure has him pulsing. You think you might suffocate with how he just keep shoving his dick into your mouth without caring how you claw at his thighs. Then he moans, almost sings his groans as he shoots his cum down your throat.

If you thought you were suffocating then, you must be dying now. His hot cum chokes you and slightly trickles down your chin. Your wide eyes have now rolled to the back of your head, and your chest began burning from lack of oxygen. Perhaps this is how you go out, dead by dick.

Just before you can feel yourself lose consciousness, he pulls away. You gasp and cough for air, hands grabbing your throat. Ghostface takes a few steps back as if he was surprised by his own orgasm. You heave, lungs burning from the intake of fresh air. Before you have the chance to fully recover, he pulls you up by the back of you head and harshly throws you on the couch. You hate how your shirt begins to grow damp with your roommate's blood, but you try to persuade yourself that it's just sweat.

Ghostface is between your legs in a matter of seconds, lifting up your skirt to expose your underwear.

You're still trying to catch your breath as your hands aimlessly attempt to push him off. You hear him snicker, gripping your thighs tightly to pull them apart. He sighs dreamily, "You're so wet baby. I can't tell if you're that turned on from sucking my cock or if you're so scared you pissed yourself."

Shame overtakes you, and you fight even harder to push him away. He only laughs at your attempts, releasing you for just a second to wrap his hands around his throat. Your finger try to pry him off, but all he does it squeeze harder. You can feel your face turning read, the familiar sensation of suffocating returning.

"I thought you would have learned to be nicer to me by now," he tsks. "Be a good girl and let me fuck you. I would rather like to fuck this pussy warm and alive." You can't verbally answer him since he's crushing your windpipe, so you meekly nod. He released your throat just before your vision went fully dark.

His gloves hands trail over your body, cupping at your breasts before continuing on their way down. You're scared that moving would make you faint, so you stay still as he explores your body. You can feel the warmth of his hands through the latex. How strong his fingers are as they reopen your legs. He rubs a thumb on your clothed pussy, keeping on hand on your abdomen.

Then, he does something even he knows he shouldn't do; Takes off his mask. If you weren't so oxygen-deprived, you could probably see his clearly. All you can make out is his dark hair, thick eyebrows, full lips. His specific features are a little hazy, but you can see enough to know that despite your better judgment, he's not bad looking at all.

He throws the mask onto your face, blocking your vision. "Don't take it off," he commands. "Take that mask off and I'll rip your throat out with my hands." You nod as shivers run down your body, "I won't." Those are all the words he needs to heat before moving your under to the side. The sight of your aroused clit has his breath caught in his throat, he's never seen anything as beautiful.

"Oh baby," he practically moans. His fingers feel a little uncomfortable as he plays with your lower lips, but it's not painful. He smears your wetness all over your pussy and thighs. Ghostface is amazed at how much your pussy was drooling for him. Maybe you're sick too, just like him.

Your cunt feels cold when he withdraws his hand from you, and your body reactively chases his touch. You hate how you hear him chuckle at your actions. He takes his finger and shoves it into his mouth, curious about your taste. You can't see too clear, but from the way his eyebrows go up, he likes what he ate.

"I'd kill to eat your pussy," he compliments. "Don't have the time to though, maybe next time."

No prep, no lube, just this man precisely angling his cock to your soppy entrance. You're whimpering quietly, little sounds as if to say please don't when it only entices him more. He lets out a soft groan when his tip enters your soft walls. You try to close your legs, but now with two hands gripping the back of your thighs, you really don't have a choice.

He pushes in, and you use both your hand to cover your mouth. He has more length than girth, so it feels never ending as he slides in. It's slightly painful at first, but you find yourself feeling satisfying full. Your assaulter can't fit himself all the way since you're too tight, but it's enough for him to rock his hips.

There's no warm up to his strokes, and your thrown in forced pleasure all too quickly. The feeling of his sliding in and out, how he manages to get deeper and deeper each time, the bruising grip on your thighs. Now you're covering your mouth to suppress your moans rather than cries. Even though, he can still hear how you squeak and groan as he pounds into you.

He watches as your breasts bounce from underneath your shirt, the way your body completely shifts every time he thrusts into you. You can say you want him to stop all you want, but he can feel how inviting your pussy has gotten. Almost begging in to stay inside, to pump you full of his cum.

Now he meets you at the hilt, his pelvis slapping against your ass. It's getting hard to breath under his mesh mask, but you don't dare to take it off. You should be ashamed with how you look up at him, practically admiring his expressions and how he groans. From what you can see, his mouth is fallen open as he moans carelessly. Like he didn't just make you take his cock, like he didn't just kill your roommate without remorse.

The pain is completely gone, and you find yourself wondering how you could have been in pain to begin with. He's so good with his cock, like he knows where in your cunt you like it. His hands stay at your thighs, but you wish he could use his gloves fingers to rub your clit. You might've been gripping his by his broad shoulders if you weren't too busy quieting yourself.

Even without the stimulation on your lower lips, you can feel your stomach tightening. The warm orgasm slowly collecting in your abdomen. You let your legs fall open even more, eager for him to drive deeper into you. He accepts happily, laughing maniacally. "God fuck, I knew you were a fucking slut. Putting your nose in a book, acting like a good little girl when you're just as sick as me."

'W-What?" You can't stop from questioning him. Has he been watching you this whole time?

You don't think he's going to answer you with how hard he's driving his hips into you, but he does. "The library. You- ngh fuck!- rather be a fucking loser than party. That scared of me huh?" He cackles. "So scared that you take my fat cock." He stops talking for a few beats to focus on fucking you.

"Aw shit, I'm gonna cum inside you." A statement, not a request. His thrusts become sloppy, aggressive. You cam feel his tip in your throat with how deep he is, and you lose your composure. One of your hands whisk down to rub your aching clit. The movement startles him for a second, but then he smiles once he realizes.

You're despicable. You should feel huge amounts of disgrace as you finish on his cock, but you don't. Instead you feel bliss with your walls squeezing around him. The sudden pressure of your pussy makes him whimper, then cum right after. He's so warm, so lively that you forget that he's a serial killer.

He gives you a few more deep strokes to ride out his high, making you tremble. Your legs shake as he slowly pulls out, but his grip on your legs in firm. He watches as his and your cum oozes out, like blood from a gash. He moans at the sight, feeling his softening cock twitch.

You're breathing heavily under him, still whimpering from the aftershocks. The post nut has not hit yet, and you're tying to relish in his body warmth. If you close your eyes, you can imagine that he's just a hook up. You can tell yourself that you'll get Plan B after this, that you'll take a shower and go to sleep. And when you wake up in the morning, it'll be like nothing happened.

That's not true though, and your fantasy is quickly shut down when his hands wrap around your neck. You gasp at the feeling, your weak hands clawing at his wrists. You both know your fighting is in vain, he was going to kill you regardless of what you did. Tears spring your eyes as you come to terms with your fate. So much for graduating on time.

Maybe it's your tears that have an effect on time. Maybe it's the fact that your pussy is still dripping with him, but Ghostface is having a change of heart. He uses one hand to rip the mask off your face to look into your eyes. It's his favorite part when taking someone's life. Yours though, are not the same. Yes he can see the sadness, the pain, but he can see something he hasn't seen before: Acceptance.

With the mask off, you're able to see his face clearly. He looks like he's thinking with the gentle creases on his forehead. His nose is scrunches and his eyebrows furrowed, and you can't help but think he's..."Cute."

It's the last thing I.N hears you say before you pass out, face turning a purple color. He quickly releases his grip on you, pressing a finger under your chin to feel for a pulse. When he feels it, he sighs in relief. Killing you was on his list since he first saw you weeks ago at the library. You did party, he's seen you before. Yet, watching you turn into a hermit because of him was romantic. He loves having that much power over people, over you.

I.N knows better than to play with his food, but he might make an exception this time. After all, he does have a spare room waiting to be used.

a/n: this took a few days and I feel like I could have done better but here ya go, feeback is appreciated update: au part here!

[definitelynotshouting]

Hi I’m obsesseddddd with your hunger au and after reading the lore doc and the fic I have a couple questions if you don’t mind

Ok first off this isn’t really a question and more like a “huh wouldn’t that be fucked up” thought but uhhhh. So og grian was pretty much trapped in a box and constantly watched while the larva developed right. Did the watchers ever feed off him? Bc I imagine being trapped and just waiting to die wouldn’t be great for your emotional state. Or would they not since he is hosting the larva and that point so they can’t/wont feed on a host? Oh also you said that he made the deal to become a watcher while under duress. I imagine that duress could easily be heightened by some hungry watchers. And having your brain lightly fried would probably make you more susceptible to agreeing to a fucked up situation

And for my second question I was curious how aware the general populace/the hermits are of watchers?? Like are they a known thing and ppl just aren’t sure how they work or what. Because the rescue group had to puzzle out that grian was benefiting from their suffering in some way, but pearl seemed to have some idea of what grian was with the whole “eating our brains” bit so I’m curious what levels of knowledge they’re operating with here

Anyways thanks for reading my silly little thoughts on your amazing au!! It’s so fun I’m having such a good time with the horrible things happening

Im so glad you like the fic, anon!! :DD im always so touched when people tell me they enjoyed it enough to read the lore behind it-- gods ive gotta update that, there are a sizeable amount of newer asks i havent added to it yet, plus my beloved friend @/corvidaearts made a proper carrd for it on my birthday that i plan on replacing the google doc with!!! Just, uh, as soon as i add aforementioned posts dkcjsjdjfj

That would be super fucked up if they fed on him while he was trapped, OUGHHHH.... id say in canon probably not, because feeding off of one Player is really really dangerous for them, and Grian was now a host for their experiment to see if they could bring their population back up. If anything, nobody touched or interacted with him beyond the bare minimum it took to keep him safe from any potential respawns, and it was likely only the colony elders who even had direct access to him in the first place. THAT BEING SAID..... GODS THATS FUCKED UP I LOVE IT. And, well, i suppose one Watcher did feed on him.. which was Grian himself, as he emerged from his Player cocoon. Player!Grian's final moments of agony and terror were amplified to the max as his Watcher-self's very first meal, and that haunts Grian a lot late at night if he lets himself think about it

The duress he was placed under to become a host in the first place involved a significant amount of heightened emotional leverage though, thats for sure. One of these days i need to map out how exactly that went down, but i know that it involved an offer that was not actually an offer, several lies through omission, intimidation tactics that spanned the entirety of Evo in the first place, and using Grian's own fear-- both of them, and for his friends-- against him. Real fucked up situation all around 😔😔😔😔

General populace does not know much if anything about the Watchers!! The Watchers are, aside from this one colony, pretty much extinct; even before that, they relied quite a lot on camouflage and secrecy to keep their presence from being discovered, both by their prey and by the Seekers that hunted them.

Some very very old Players might know whispers of information-- rumors from the tail end of a game of telephone, as it were. And there are for sure a few individuals here and there who know of them due to personal experience (including the entire Evo crew, which was ofc a special case), but because Player information is not centralized in any capacity in this universe, the vast majority of Players have zero knowledge that Watchers even exist, let alone what they do and how they feed.

Pearl, with her previous knowledge and experience with Watchers and how they operated while involved with the Evo server, made some really good educated guesses about how Grian works and what's going on with him. And ofc everyone on Hermitcraft, plus all the lifers, knows that Grian at the very least can manipulate Player emotions to an extreme degree-- putting those context clues together, you can piece together quite a few connections. She doesn't have the full picture, but at this point in time she's basically figured out a good chunk of it. The rest will have to come from Grian himself >:]

[shuuuuush]

LET ME LOVE YOU 【SHARKY】

【Summary】 ; Finding yourself dragged in to join a video with the beta squad, you meet Sharky. You've promised before that you wouldn't fall for anyone anymore after all you've been through. But now that he's popped up in your life, maybe you're slowly breaking your promise.

【Warnings】 ; slow build, reader has a description of a past abusive (more toxic than abusive) relationship and insecurity, mentions of trauma from it, slow brains to comprehend feelings, words: "damn", "bastard", "Shit" are used, Sharky being a jokeman.

【Pairing】 ; Sharky x f!Reader

【Word Count】; hehe 15k !!

【A/N】 ;Hope you all enjoy this, and it did take a while, so please let me know what you all think about it ! @vctrvn-ls thank u so much for scenario ideas and motivation when I felt like my brain was fried, and @allygatcr for hyping me up for this fic 🫶🫶 and all my mutuals who have long awaited this fic I love u all !

Masterlist

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The cold, cool air of the summer breeze hit your face as you stared out the window of the moving car.

Chin leaning on your hand as you watched houses and landscapes moved past your eyes in a speedy manner.

You didn't know what to expect in this upcoming event you were attending, well not a big event but a video that was shooting.

It was your first collaboration with other youtubers as you yourself was an upcoming one. Well you were more a guest than a collaboration but that's what you liked to call it.

Being nervous was an understatement, you didn't know what to expect but all you could do was hope for the best. Knowing the Internet could do anything after the video was posted was what made you more nervous, you hope things go your way and all but is that really realistic?

"You better not be over there being worried about the whole thing Y/N." A voice spoke beside you, one who was driving the car you were in.

Turning to roll your eyes at him, Aj just shook his head, hand still on the steering wheel as he continued speaking, since you didn't say anything.

"Cmon, I told you it's all good. These guys are my trusted friends and good collabs too. It'll help you a lot. And maybe get over your fear of…" He trailed off, glancing to your side as he faked a cough to quickly recover from what he was originally going to say, "You know what I mean. I'm telling you right now it's all good."

"It better be." You mumbled, still staring out the window of the car trying to calm your nerves down. Sure, Aj tried giving you a pep talk, but right now, it wasn't really working. Still, you appreciated what he did for you.

Aj was one of your family friends, you both have known each other since you were really young and both grew up together. He was the older brother that you never had. Throughout your childhood, you would be able to count on his triangle head.

Even though you'd both insult and tease each other, you still cared and were thankful.

And being the good friend Aj was, he saw how you were trying to become a bigger youtuber. But he knew you were afraid to expand and get to know more people than your small circle of ones you already knew.

So, he told you about the beta squad and how he and his friends created this group, where they make videos together and live in the same house. They do collabs with others too to make their videos more fun and interesting when there's guests.

He invited you, despite you saying you were fine by yourself, he insisted that it would be fun. And now here you are, on your way to the beta squad house to film a video with some people you don't know.

Except the short triangle head.

"If things don't go great, I'm heading straight back to this car, Aj." Sitting up straight and turning your head to him as you spoke.

You could tell he was contemplating whether or not to say some insult or snappy remark back, but in the end, he just nodded and said alright.

The driving came to a slow as the car approached the driveway of the house. The house itself was actually impressive. You thought maybe it would not be the best-looking house you'd seen with Aj living in it, but clearly, you're wrong.

I mean, what did you expect? They live in a mansion for crying out loud. You thought to yourself, as if hearing you, Aj laughed and commented on that thought.

"Yep, this place cost a sh' ton of money, but it's worth it." He spoke as he parked the car and turned off the engine. Looking for his keys to open the front door.

You laughed, finding the key on the front window of the car and handing it to him "Okayy mind reader shabeel. Thanks for the info."

He rolled his eyes in response and exited the car, causing a laugh to escape you again. Taking your phone out of your pocket, you looked at the time as it read, 4:30pm. The video was scheduled to start preparing to shoot at 5:00pm.

You got out of the car and shut the door, following Aj to the front of the house as he unlocked the door with some passcode at which he told you to "look away I don't want you breaking into this house"

And then proceeding to use the key to unlock the front door.

Stepping inside the house, it was cooler than outside, probably because of the air conditioning, and the mansion was huge, bigger inside than what it looked like outside.

Cold marble flooring that matched the white of the walls. Taking a look around the house, you noticed posters of all the beta squad, sitting on their thrones and wearing royal king crowns, following with their names beneath the poster.

You admit this place is starting to look really cool, and the fact that all of them are still quite young and can afford a house like this amazes you. Perhaps one day you'd be able to do the same.

Sniffing, you smelt a savoury aroma enter the room, you guessed, coming from the kitchen as you imagined the delicious food being cooked.

But your attention to food was taken away when you heard a ringtone coming from Aj's phone.

Glancing at it, he started to speak, "I gotta take this sorry, you can go ahead and sit on the couch or take a look around. Sharky might be at home right now, too."

Before you could question further where the sitting room was, he already was on the call, speaking to someone and walking out the door outside to the carpark.

You sighed, putting a hand on your hips, guess you had to explore now.

Thankfully, you found the giant couch without too much effort. As there was a glass door in front of you, beside the posters you were looking at earlier.

Speed walking up to the couch and plopping onto it, you felt the comfort of it instantly sink in, you felt like you were in your own bed that's how comfortable it was.

You pulled your airpods out of your pocket and connected it to your phone as you put them into your ears to listen to some music to pass the time a bit.

Going into Spotify to find your most trusted thing, your music playlists.

Pressing shuffle, you were glad one of your favourite songs popped up, "Thinkin' bout you." By Frank Ocean.

You listened to a lot of music artists and you never really had a favourite, but whenever you did listen to Frank Ocean it's just something about the lyrics that always touched you. Either they were too real or too sad and it made the songs more enjoyable. Or they were also just a good beat to be honest.

Humming along to the song, you foot tapped to the beat, following along with your head in sync. As you scrolled through your phone to find something to do, quietly singing the song that played through your airpods.

Cause I been thinking 'bout forever, ooh

Most of the time, you could almost dance to the music when you were alone but here, you were content with just tapping your foot along with the beat.

No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it

You started humming along to the words, enjoying the beat of the music.

Got a beach house I could sell you in Idaho, since you think

Now the music had taken over and you were singing along to the music, not singing too loud but enough to not classify it as a whisper.

I don't love you I just thought you were cute, that's why I kissed you

Got a fighter jet, I don't get to fly it though I'm lying down

Too lost in the music, you failed to hear the footsteps approaching beside you. You jumped slightly as a hand tapped your shoulder, causing you to remove one of your airpods and look up to see who it was.

"Hey, sorry for startling you. I just wanted to come over and say hi, You're Y/N, right? The guest today?"

You were greeted by dark chocolate eyes that were connected with a smile. A pretty face, you'll be honest. And he was tall. Damn, he was tall. Like 6 foot something, definitely. He had a good sense of style, wearing a grey backwards hat and matching hoodie and joggers that had a logo, Primo on it.

Still hooked on the fact that this beautiful man was standing in front of you. Were you daydreaming again?

Maybe you were observing him for too long, as he waved a hand in front of your face with a small chuckle.

"Oh! sorry, yes, I'm Y/N, I didn't mean to stare.." You internally punched yourself in the brain. He didn't have to know you were staring. Why did you say that out loud? You frickin idiot. You still haven't even turned off your music yet.

You paused the music on your phone and it caused an excited gasp to escape from the man in front of you, confused you looked back up at him to see him smiling with excitement as he was looking at your phone.

"Oh my days, you listen to Frank Ocean? Do you like his music?" He came over to sit beside you, still excited like a little kid who just made a friend for the first time.

You gave a slight giggle as you nodded, "I don't just like his music, I love his music. It's just something about the way his songs are always so real."

"Yeah, it's so relatable, and the way his lyrics are raw, it just makes it more enjoyable, you know?" He added, nodding while he talked and listening to you intently.

"I know, right? Honestly, one of the best music artists I know." You agreed, a small smile dusting your face as you talk about the one thing you enjoy, music.

He chuckled, "The greatest of all time," he stopped for a bit before asking, "What's your favourite song of his?"

"Ohh, it's hard to say because I love them all." You looked away to ponder for a minute, trying to differentiate which of his songs you would classify as a 'favourite.' No one really asked that before, too, so you never really had to think about it. "Honestly, I can't choose."

"Cmon, you have to have one that you could listen to forever."

You thought for a bit, "Hm, but if I had to have one, I'd say this song I'm listening to right now, Thinkin Bout You."

"Ohh, that song is so good, I'd say mine is Pink and White, only because I've been listening to it a lot." He admitted, one hand in the air as he said that last statement with a grin.

It's been a while since you've been able to connect and talk to someone about interesting topics you enjoy. You felt so welcomed, and something about him just warmed your heart, always managing to put a smile on your face every next sentence he spoke.

You could tell he was an open person, someone you could trust. This feeling you get of trust and instant friendship is rare and hard to find, and when you do find it, you've heard that you shouldn't lose it. It's a once in a lifetime chance.

Suddenly, he face palmed and mumbled an 'I'm so dumb,' "Sorry I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Sharky." He held a hand out to you to shake. You took it automatically and with a smile.

"Y/N L/N." Wait, you didn't even register what his name was for a second, and then it just clicked. "Sharky? Like a shark? Is that a nickname?"

"Aha, yeah, that's what I'm nicknamed as my actual name is Sharmarke. It's just that's what I'm better known as." He scratched the back of his neck while looking to the side, a small pink dusting his cheeks.

You were about to ask more on that before you heard more voices enter the room. Both of you turned your heads to see what you assumed was the beta squad, and some camera crew entered.

Sharky turned to you and smiled, "We can talk after, I think we're about to start. These are the rest of the beta squad." He said, standing up and pointing to the four guys. You followed his line of sight and saw them waving at the both of you.

Getting up and coming over to greet them all, you introduced yourself to the three and got their names as Niko, Kenny, and Chunkz. You were about to comment on the last one's name before he put up a hand and pointed to all of himself as his explanation to which he gave a laugh.

The camera crew set up everyone, placing mics on them and doing sound checks on everyone. Putting cameras in two rooms, one for the main video and the other for another part of the video, the part where an individual talks to the camera themselves.

Now you saw that everyone had put on their silly costumes and understood why Aj had asked you previously to bring something too.

You had brought a red riding outfit since it was the only costume-like thing that you had owned. You changed into that, and you went to check out everyone's costumes, or if you didn't know what it was, you asked them.

Kenny was dressed as bigfoot, Chunkz as "Prince of Saudi Arabia", Niko as Sharky, well more specifically a Shark biting him, Sharky as a black viking and Aj a sheep. Quite accurate, you thought with a small giggle.

The lighting in each room took a while to set up as it had to change throughout the video. Green and red lights were the two colours. While getting mic'd up, Niko explained to you the video they were shooting.

A game called Mafia.

"So basically, there's 6 players, 6 cards, 2 for the mafia, 4 for the civilians. The cards are picked at random by all players. The mafia share their identity with each other, while the others close their eyes and are left in the dark. All players open their eyes, and the game is on." Niko spoke as they finished up the sound and led you all to the mafia game room upstairs. He continued to explain the game to you while also showing you a clip of the previous videos on how to play.

"The civilian's job is to find the mafias and get them out. They need to work together in catching these two and not letting them take over. The only problem is they don't know what card everyone else has. The mafia's job is to make all the civilians turn on each other and eventually vote each other out, making them the only remaining players."

"And at the end of every round, one person will be voted out and punished by being dunked into a tank of freezing water, the victim will then reveal their card showing the rest of the players whether they made the right choice or not." Aj laughed as he told you that this was his favourite part of the game. He just hoped he wasn't the one being dunked in the tank.

Everyone sat down in their respective places on the couch. You sat down next to Aj, obviously because he was the closest to you, following Chunkz beside Aj, Niko, and Kenny beside him. Leaving one space beside you, Sharky took that place with a smile on him.

"So the game ends when either both mafias are caught or all civilians are outnumbered and voted out, right?" You asked no one in particular, but they all nodded and that you now understood how the game was played.

You'll admit it does sound fun. You've never heard of this game before, but if it's as fun as it sounds, it probably would end up being one of your favourite games. And as Aj told you before your chance to get over your fear. You don't like being reminded about it, but just for a while, you didn't have to remember.

Looking around the grey but well lit room, you noticed an LED light sign that read "Mafia" in blue, and playing cards that had each beta squad member on it as a king or joker etc.

The camera director told you all it was starting in 1 minute, causing the chatter to cease as quickly so that they could start filming. You glanced to your side as Aj nudged you, giving you a thumbs up and mouthing an "you'll do great," to which you whispered a thanks.

Seeing this interaction, Sharky leaned in towards you but respecting your space and also whispered, "Don't worry, Y/N, it'll be fun." He smiled at you when he saw that the nerves in your face calmed down a little after both of the reassurance you've gotten.

"Camera rolling!" The cameraman shouted.

Aj was the first to speak, "Welcome to another game of Mafia! Please welcome our new guest, drum roll, please!" Everyone was hitting the table to sound a drum roll as they then all pointed at you, "Y/N L/N!" You waved at the camera and thanked everyone.

"Now that we've introduced her, it's time to pick the cards." Sharky glanced at you for a split second when he spoke, before reaching to grab the cards, everyone following suit to do the same.

If the cameras didn't pick it up, then you surely did when you both made eye contact with each other after looking at your card, which was the mafia card. The King. Why did you look at Sharky first after looking at your own card? You really don't know the reason for it. But you couldn't ponder any longer as you had to win this game.

Chunkz did the honour of telling everyone to put down their cards and close their eyes.

"Mafias! Open your eyes." Chunkz said cheekily while dragging out the 'eyes.'

Slowly, you opened your eyes and looked around, trying not to make any noise when you turned as you were still wearing your hood over your head.

Looking towards your right, not Aj, not any of the other boys so that must mean, as you turned your head to the left, you met eyes with Sharky, who smiled instantly and slowly nodded his head while you gave him a smile back.

"Mafias, close your eyes." Chunkz shouted, which caused the both of you to turn your heads back and shut your eyes. "Everyone, open your eyes."

When you opened your eyes, for some reason, you just couldn't hold in your smile. You were excited, genuinely. This already seems fun.

Aj must have caught on to this because he instantly went to attack you on that. "Nah, why you smiling Y/N, are you Mafia?"

"What? Can I not smile?" Damn it, where you about to get caught already? The game just started ain't no way you're letting them think you're mafia.

"Smiling is a bit suspicious, you know? I'm getting mafia vibes from Y/N." Aj turned around to the rest of the guys and pointed at you, who faked being shocked and hurt.

"Wow Aje, you know, you thinking I'm mafia without any other grounds other than me smiling is suspicious in itself. I'm thinking you're targeting me because you're mafia." You stated as a matter of fact, to which the others nodded.

"That does sound like Aj when he's mafia." Kenny said, rubbing his chin while looking at Aj with distrust.

"Yo HOW blud. She's trying to trick you all against me." Aj shouted as he threw both of his arms in the air to prove his point.

"Yeah, I think we should just vote Aj out. Personally, I don't like mafia infested rats." Niko laughed as he looked at the camera saying those last words.

"So all in favour of voting out, Aj?" Sharky spoke now, looking around the room as he raised his hand to see who would follow, and everyone did but Aj, causing the shorter man to stand up and leave, mumbling an "I hate you guys" making the rest of you laugh.

All of you were led outside and were about to watch Aj be dunked into a tank of freezing water. You laugh as you remember Aj saying earlier that the forfeits were his favourite part of the video, oh how the tables have turned for him.

Niko was the one to throw at the dart target board for Aj, he missed the first few times but when he finally made it, seeing Aj's face as he dropped in the water was one that made everyone burst into laughter and excitement.

As he got out of the tank, the boys shouted "Show your card" And when he did, it showed a 5 of spades. Everyone just groaned in disappointment.

"YOU LOT WASTED YOUR TIME, MAFIAS STILL OUT THERE." Aj yelled as he ran back into the house to change out of his now freezing cold clothes.

Obviously everyone knew Aj wasn't the mafia but if he was that would've been great, 1 out. But realistically they just wanted the rat gone. Kenny pointing a suspicious finger at you after Aj showed his card to everyone.

You glanced at Sharky, sending him a quick, worried look as you saw Kenny tell Niko his suspicions. And you both knew what you had to do in the next round.

As everyone sat down, Chunkz was the first to speak, "Now automatically I'm smelling Niko vibes." He giggled afterwards as a shocked and confused look went on Nikos face.

"What? I've not done anything? You can't always target me because you don't like me."

"Okay so Niko, who do you think is the mafia?" Sharky asked, because he knew that once Niko thought that one of you was the mafia, he would stop at no costs to prove his point and he might even end up winning the game.

"Well, earlier, Kenny told me that it could be Y/N. But I mean, you haven't really done anything that would be mafia suspicious in my eyes. But Chunkz keeps targeting me, so now he's my suspect."

You sighed quietly, hoping no one heard that. At least Niko didn't think you or Sharky were mafia.

"Yeah, actually," you started to speak, turning to Chunkz, "Why are you thinking Niko's mafia?"

"Nah, it's because every Mafia, I go for Niko, I just try to show from early that he's not my friend. There's like no coalition."

They all went back and forth with the banter and hurling suspicions left and right and each other, but surprisingly, no one thought you or Sharky were mafia. The only suspects were Niko, Kenny, or Chunkz.

Sure, they suspected you both a few times, but really, they didn't think much of it, as everyone was already pinning it against themselves they didn't have time to suspect you both fully.

Until the last round, Chunkz had been voted off and seeing as his card wasn't a king card the suspicions now turned to you again. Kenny was the first to pounce again on the argument.

"Listen, Niko, I'm thinking Y/N is mafia. One hundred percent, no doubt. But I think Sharky might be the other mafia. I'm not too sure about that."

"Niko, don't listen to him, I promise you, I am not Mafia." You looked at Niko and put on your best innocent face.

"I don't know, to be honest, I'm baffed." Niko threw his hands in the air in confusion and placed a hand over his mouth to think. "Then again, big foot here isn't really giving me much evidence to question on."

"Yeah, but it's not about evidence!" Kenny shouted, and it caused the rest of you to laugh at how serious he's being, even if he was telling the truth, you were a mafia. "Oh my days, Niko, can't you see? They literally are both mafia!"

"Niko man, vote out, Kenny, because clearly he is mafia by trying to lure you in and win. There is one other mafia. I think it's Y/N if not you. At least get one of them out." You turned your head as Sharky spoke those words. You thought he was supposed to work together with you?

But then he sent a sly wink and smile towards your way, if you blinked you would've missed it and then it hit you, if Niko voted our Kenny here, you and Sharky would've won, both the mafias would be left standing winners.

And so when it came to the vote, it started with Kenny voting for you, then it was up to Niko, who looked back and forth between you and Kenny, you pleaded one last time with him.

"Look Niko, if I was mafia I would've been out by now, this is my first time playing. If you think it's me, vote for me by all means but if you just use your brain you could clearly see Kenny is mafia."

And with that, Niko agreed and voted Kenny, leaving you and Sharky to vote for him as well. Instantly after the votes were complete, Kenny stood up and left yelling at the camera as he didn't want to get dunked in water.

But as soon as he did, and when he showed his card making him a civilian, you and Sharky both shouted and jumped with joy, while Niko just stood there mouth agape as he slowly went to cover his mouth still being shocked and the rest of the boys yelled at Niko for being an idiot.

While you and Sharky celebrated, he went up to wrap his arms around you while yelling "We did it!!"

And you laughed along, hugging him back. When you did, it instantly felt comfortable, being in his arms felt safe. You didn't know what it was, why did it make you feel all fuzzy?

It reminded you of your mother's hugs when you were a kid, and you won something, the genuine happiness and excitement you found in that hug reflected Sharky's hug. It felt familiar and you wouldn't admit it if anyone asked you but you could stay in that hug forever.

Maybe you lingered in that hug for a second too long as the others started teasing Sharky, saying ooo, and Chunkz started singing, causing him to let go of you as quick.

After they calmed down a bit, they filmed the outro, and thanked you as their guest, and they allowed you to do the honors of saying, "play the trailer."

After they finished the filming, you grabbed your belongings, and headed towards the bathroom to change out of your red riding outfit.

Just as you were about to enter, you heard your name being called, you turned your head to see Sharky running up to you with a wave.

When he finally reached you, you gave him a small smile to which he returned it and then rubbed the back of his neck while looking away.

"Hey, I just wanted to ask if you'd like to hang out sometime?" Sharky asked, a small cough erupting out of him at the end of his sentence. As he gazed back at you with those same soft brown eyes.

You were about to say sure, but then you hesitate. Why did he want to hang out with you? Did he mean romantically or platonically? And if you were about to fall in love again, you didn't know how you would feel about it. The last relationship you had, let's say … didn't end nicely.

But you were thinking too far ahead, for now you could make friends. And you always stick to the same branch of people that you hang out with, and these guys all seem really nice, and Sharky did have the same interest as you in music so why not?

"Sure, I'd, uh, I'd like that." You hated that against your own will. Your cheeks started to burn a little. You just hoped it wasn't noticeable to him.

"Yes!" He did a mini punch in the air but then realised what he did and scratched his head and cleared his throat, "I mean, that's great. Could I get your number? If you're okay with that, that is?"

Nodding, he quickly took out his phone and handed it to you, and you typed in your number, putting your contact name in too. He waited patiently as you did and when you handed it back to him, he called the number and the phone in your pocket buzzed.

He smiled and thanked you, "Hey, you know we make a good team. You actually did really well for your first mafia game."

"We do," You laughed, "you guys should invite me more on your mafia videos."

Sharky was about to say something when Aj yelled, "Hey lovebirds! I gotta drop Y/N back off so be quick and finish your conversation!"

Your eyes widened, Lovebirds?? Oh hell no, Aj's not getting away with that, you mumbled under your breath. Glancing up at Sharky to see his reaction he had the same reaction as you, but he just rolled his eyes and smiled at you saying that he'll leave you to it and pointed at the clothes you were holding. He waved as left to head towards the group.

Going into the bathroom and shutting the door, you looked at the mirror. Damn it, you were blushing. Shaking your head, this was gonna be a long car ride.

When you were done changing, you walked towards the door, where Aj was standing, waiting for you on his phone, when he looked up at you he rolled his eyes and said finally.

"Alright, I'm gonna drop Y/N off. See you guys later!" He yelled into the house, causing the boys to yell out a bye to you, and Niko popped around the corner to shake your hand and say bye to you.

"By the way, Y/N, all that banter that we said earlier, that was just for the video, so don't mind it." Niko admitted, waving a hand off towards Aj, who just laughed as he agreed with him, and then you both left to head to the car.

"So, what was that all about, ay?" Aj teased, as he had a smug grin on his face. As he glanced over at you, who was there looking straight ahead on the road, trying to avoid this conversation.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You shrugged, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Y/N, cmon, don't think I didn't see that idiot Sharks flirt with you."

"Flirt? I don't think he was flirting, he was just being friendly. We just met after all."

"Nah, he definitely was. Knowing Sharks, he just sucks at flirting. Actually," he started as he turned into the street you lived in. "Yeah, maybe he might just be friendly. But I'll be honest, it looked like flirting to me, Y/N. So just be careful. Don't want him breaking your heart or vice versa aight?"

You scoffed. Aj was definitely overreacting with this. But it did make you think, was he really flirting with you? Or was he just being overly friendly. You hoped it was the latter, though. You don't think you could handle a relationship right now.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

He watched as the car drove away, and when he turned around, he was frightened to see Chunkz looking at him with a sly smirk on his face. He just rolled his eyes as he made his way towards the couch, Chunkz following him as he continued to pester the other Somali.

"Oh my days, I know I made it so awkward. You know how awkward that was? I'm not good with girls at all." Sharky covered his face with hands as he slouched down onto the couch and sighed.

"You seemed fine when you hugged her." Chunkz did his famous laugh, as he went to sit beside Sharky.

"Stop, man, that was just -" Sharky cut himself off. What was that hug actually? Shaking his head, he cleared his throat as he pulled out his phone to ignore looking at Chunkz. "A winning hug. Like I hug all of you when we win a game."

"A winning hug? Sharky, you're a joke man. I know you fell in love instantly, bruva." He elbowed his friend as he laughed in his face. Causing the fellow Somali to pull over his hood to cover his face, which started to warm up.

Fell in love instantly? Sharky's not like that. Or was he? He didn't know at this point, just the very thought of you got his face heating up and the flutter of wings in his stomach grew out of nowhere. You've got him second-guessing himself. Usually, he's a confident guy, but now.

Now, he's definitely not.

Sharky was in the kitchen when he first saw you, he was making something to eat while waiting for the guys to arrive back at the house, but that's when he saw you walk toward the couch and sit there like you owned the place.

He was about to ask who you were, but then he remembered there was a guest for today's video. Normally, he would just call out loud and make his presence known, but he was caught off guard by your singing or, well, whispering the words to a song.

A song to which he also listened to.

He started to smile after hearing the words to the song you were singing. He leaned back against the counter to listen, but he then decided it would be a bit weird if he just stood there listening to you without you knowing, and that's how he decided to confront you.

As he moved closer to you, he realised how pretty you were. Like genuinely pretty, stunning even. The way your face smiled in that look of content as you listened to the music and-

Oh no. Maybe Chunkz was right.

You head down the stairs to make your breakfast. It was about a week since you met the beta squad. And you were currently at home. You just finished getting ready to go on your morning run.

Usually, you don't go on runs in the morning as you'd sleep in, but for some reason, you had the urge to just get up and exercise.

As you were making your breakfast, a classic bowl of cereal and toast, your phone buzzed on the table. Turning your head, you stopped making the cereal and opened your phone, and checked the notifications.

A big smile cracked on your face against your will as you read the text from Sharky.

Message sent at 8:16 am

Sharky 🦈

Good morning 👋🏻

I was thinking, do you wanna … maybe hang out today?

IF YOU'RE NOT BUSY THAT IS😅

You 💟

Morning Sharky !

Nah I'm not busy, where do you wanna go?

Sharky 🦈

Hmm, wherever you want! I don't mind honestly 😁

You 💟

Ok, how about let's meet up in the park since I'm gonna go on a run there anyway and we'll see where it goes from there 😂

I'll see you at 9

Sharky 🦈

👍

See you then ❤️

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You stared at the message he last sent, "See you then ❤️"

Oh my days, you're going nuts over a heart emoji? You thought, internally slapping yourself, but you can't help but look over the message, and then you shook your head. Get yourself together, you send hearts to everyone, why did it surprise you when he did?

Finally taking the pieces of toast, and finishing off your cereal. You ate as quickly as you could, as soon as you finished it you grabbed your house keys and headed out to the park.

Locking your door, you put on your headphones and play your music playlist. You start to jog towards the park. You were thinking of running, but maybe you'll save that last bit of energy when you're closer to the park.

It was a chilly morning, the cool, crisp air hitting your body, but not enough to make you freeze, especially since you were jogging.

You don't remember the last time you jogged, maybe a few weeks or months, who knows at this point. Perhaps the conversation you had with Aj last time slightly may have hinted that Sharky does like his runs in the morning.

Is that what motivated you to run? Or was it just the fact that you haven't been out in a while?

The warmth hit you as soon as you closed in near the park. It wasn't that far from your house, maybe about 20-24 minutes.

You reached the entrance of the park, the soft scent of the array of flowers surrounded the area, and the tall trees moved with the gentle breeze.

People walked around the park, and some kids played as they ran around the park, chasing each other and shouting with joy when they caught up.

Nearing a bench, you sat down and pulled out your phone, checking the time, 8:42 am.

Maybe he was here already?

You hesitated. Should you call or text him? You ended up calling Sharky to see if he was here already or not. The phone rang twice before he picked up the phone.

"Hey Y/N, I'm at the park where are you?" Sharky's voice spoke through the phone.

"Just near the entrance, I'm sitting at a bench, uh," looking around, you tried to describe your surroundings, "near this really tall tree."

You heard him laugh softly through the phone, instantly causing you to smile and ask, "What's so funny?"

"Nah, it's because you said you're near this really tall tree, but Y/N, there's trees everywhere." He laughed again, making you roll your eyes but still have a smile on your face.

You ended up sending him your location, and he followed it, finally making his way as he caught sight of you sitting on the bench.

He stood there for a split second because call him crazy if you will, but he swore he saw some light shine upon you as the trees moved their way to do so. He softened his gaze, as the scene in front of him seemed like a movie.

It was a chilly day, yes, but somehow the sun came around just as he arrived. And especially when he saw you, the trees, sunlight and wind might have been paid actors if it wasn't for the fact that they're not people.

"Is this seat taken?" A familiar voice spoke as you looked up and met eyes with Sharky, who smiled as soon as you did. You motioned for him to take the seat beside you, and he gladly did.

The sounds of the park all muffled out, no person walking past, the rustle of trees in the breeze or even the cars on the far side could be heard as you drowned out all noise to listen to the Somali in front of you.

As you both talked, you ended up deciding to head to a cafe nearby, just to grab a drink, to talk and get to know each other. The walk wasn't that far and it was a small cafe.

A blue and white awning hung over the entrance and window of the shop, the inside was decorated nicely with tables and chairs surrounding the room. The warmth from the coffee being made radiated throughout the cafe, and the smell of baked goods added to it.

Both of you waited in line to order your drinks and pastries if you were feeling like it. You stared at the menu board behind the counter, looking at what to order. They had a wide range of drinks and food. Checking the prices beside them surely they couldn't be-

Why the hell are they so expensive??? You thought a small cafe like this would surely have good prices, but this was insane. £6.80 for a coffee? Crazy. And that was the cheapest thing there.

"What ya thinking of getting?" Sharky asked, leaning down to ask while still keeping his eyes on the menu board. You looked up at him briefly and made eye contact, causing you to turn your head swiftly back to the menu and pretend to look at it.

"Hmm, I was thinking of getting just the coffee because it's the cheapest thing there." You scoffed, shaking your head at the insane prices of this place.

"Just coffee? You could get something else too. You know I'm paying right?" He blurted that out like you were supposed to know that already, a giant grin forming on his face. You raised your brows, surprised.

"No, it's alright," you waved him off, "I can pay for my own one."

"Cmon Y/N, I insist." He started to grab his wallet from back pocket, but you stopped him by pushing his hand away from reaching it.

"Well, then I insist back?? And I don't want you to waste your money."

"It's not a waste if it's for you, plus I asked to hang out with you today. It's the least I could do." He shrugged, finally managing to reach for his wallet without you stopping him.

You were about to argue on that until he shot you a look, and you ended up rolling your eyes and accepting. Inside, you were grateful. At least your wallet was saved.

"Fine." You sighed. When you looked back at him, he had a smug grin on his face. He looked as if he had achieved the impossible, but he laughed when he saw the frown on your face.

He ordered for the both of you, and you waited for about three minutes before you collected your coffee and a pastry.

Heading over to a table that had two free seats, you sat down across from each other. Sipping your drink as he started a conversation. Turning to face you as he put down his own cup of tea.

"You have a channel, right? What videos do you make?" Sharky asked, genuinely curious since he didn't actually know much about you being an influencer.

"Honestly, I haven't made many videos, just a few prank videos with Aj and some beauty videos. A mix of everything I'd say." Chuckling as you took another sip of your coffee. He nodded at your answer and smiled.

"What else do you like to do then? Do you have any hobbies?" Laying his hand on his chin as his soft eyes met your gaze.

"Um," you ponder for a bit, "I like music, and I sing," you hesitate, scratching the side of your head, "well sometimes."

"Ohh, of course!" He throws his hands up in realisation, "Frank Ocean! So you like singing, that's good to know."

"Maybe one day you could put on a show and sing for me." Sharky's lips curled into a small smile, creasing the outer corner of his eyes. And seeing your face get slightly warmer only made his smile grow wider.

It seemed as if you've talked forever, the way the conversations you've had with him flowed like honey. Almost as if you've known him your whole life, it was almost … comforting.

You don't know how you ended up talking about football, but it led to a conversation with him explaining the basic mechanics and how it's "so easy" even a baby could do it.

"You really don't know how to play football?"

Seeing you shake your head, must've lit a light bulb in his head, as his gaze turned from one of confusion to his sienna brown eyes widening.

"Unacceptable." He shook his head and stood up, taking your hand in his as he left you out of the cafe.

By the looks of the sky, it was evening already, the sun slowly setting as the sky painted a canvas of light orange hues and yellow rays.

You laughed, still holding on to his grasp, "Where are we going?" As he led you both down the street.

Your laugh rang in his ears, a small thing motivating him to stay by your side. It was angelic. You may not have thought so, but to him, if his heart had melted from it, he would fix it all up just to hear it again.

He brought you to a stadium, a football stadium. The grand entrance of the place staring you in the face as he entered in with some ID card and brought you to the pitch.

"I'm teaching you how to play football." Sharky spoke as he grabbed a nearby football that was lying in a basket full of other ones. Putting one hand on his hips as he beckoned you to come closer.

You were in awe of the stadium, it was huge, and it especially looked amazing in the evening, the peach coloured rays hitting the walls of the stadium emitting a soft hue around the pitch.

"How were you able to even get in?" You inquired of him, slowly walking closer to him as you looked around the stadium.

He led you to the middle of the huge pitch. The whole stadium was empty, except you thought you saw two cleaners, but other than them, it was just you and Sharky on the field.

He grinned, "Perks of being an ex-emirates stadium worker. Plus, I'm a youtuber, they know me." Putting a hand on his chest, as it was something that always deeply touched him.

"So," He started, as he kicked the football to go in front of him, "I'll show you how to kick the football first." He motioned for you to come closer, pointing at his right foot as he told you to kick it with the side of your foot instead of the tip.

He took a few steps back and sped up towards the ball and kicked it just as he showed you, evidently making a goal.

Earning a cheer from you, to which he gave a small bow, running up to get the ball back and placing it in front of you. "Now you try." He placed his hands on his hips as he waited for you. You looked at him as your face contorted into one of confusion.

"Uh, I don't think I'll be able to score a goal just like that? "

"Well, try it first then you can complain." He laughed, ushering you forward towards the ball, you looked at him and then back at the ball.

'Well here goes nothing' you thought and tried to kick as Sharky showed you, but you ended up only kicking it more than a meter away from you, and heading off to an angle to your right.

You heard a small snort come from Sharky as he tried not to laugh at that kick, earning an embarrassed chuckle from you, as you tried to shorten yourself from this situation.

Making Sharky feel bad so he put on a smile for you, to make you feel less awkward about this, he really did want you to learn and he has tons of patience so this would be really easy he thought.

"Yeah, maybe we should practice other things before goals. I realised that may be a bit difficult." He rubbed his chin, thinking of what to do next and his brows raised as it came to him.

He moved towards the storage room and brought out a few cones, placing them in a row in front of you, measuring the width of the spacing between each cone with his own body, he placed six cones in a row.

Taking the ball back and bringing it near the both of you, he started to move it between his feet, looking up at you as he did.

"So what I'm doing right now is called dribbling." Slowly moving towards the cones, the football still between his feet as he demonstrated going around the cones left and then right, up until the very end where he repeated it again heading back to you.

"Dribbling is basically just moving the ball between your feet, like kicking it a little."

Passing the ball to you as you stopped it with your foot, the small of your lips turning upwards, "You could practice by going around each cone and coming back to me here."

You nodded, placing it between your feet, moving closer to the cones as you tried to kick it back and forth between your feet, but it's easier said than done. As you tried but ultimately failed, crashing into the cones as you almost tripped over the ball, trying to go through the cones.

Causing a small laugh to come out of Sharky, as he walked over to you and extended a hand to help you up. He put the cones back in their place and let you try again, repeating to you how to do it as he watched you try to dribble between the cones. Evidently crashing into them again, at least it wasn't all of them this time.

After a couple more training sessions (more like failed attempts) you managed to do somewhat of a decent job at dribbling and sometimes you scored a goal. Almost always you earned a high five from Sharky, even if you did fail an attempt, he'd just smile and say we can try again. Never did he sigh and give up.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

"Wait, what did you just do right there?" You asked, after he suggested you can take a break, since you seemed out of breath after all the training.

You were kicking the ball back towards the seating area when Sharky quickly kicked the ball from beneath you, taking it back towards him as he tossed it up into his hands.

"This? It's called a nutmeg, you simply just kick the ball through your opponent's legs, to retrieve it back so that they won't have it anymore."

You laughed, sitting down in one of the chairs, gazing up at Sharky as he messed around with the ball. "I thought nutmeg was a spice?"

He furrowed his brows for a split second and then let out a laugh, "Yeah, it is, but that's just the term for it. We're not really cooking here, are we?" Shrugging his shoulders as he went to sit beside you.

A soft silence filled the area, as both you and Sharky didn't speak a word. Even the usual white noise, when things got quiet, couldn't be heard, but instead, a delicate soft breathing between the two of you.

Fiddling with your thumbs as you stared at your feet. When is there ever just silence? Normally overpowering the peace, the sounds would get louder, the steady rhythm of your beating heart, sometimes going off track to stumble you.

But now, it's at ease, the quietness, an instant comfort to soothe your mind and heart. Lifting your head up to look around the stadium, it's not normally quiet in a place like this, but now, now is a rare time.

Sharky was looking at you now, eyes softening at your figure, the way you're peacefully sitting here, content, and the soft breathing from you showing him that you're alright with him being here. Alright, with him being beside you. And that, that's what makes him smile.

"You know what," you say, suddenly standing up and placing your hand on your hips, catching him off guard as he didn't expect you to move suddenly, "Let's do a 1v1."

Sharky squints slightly, uncertainty written upon his face, "Are you sure? It seems a bit unfair from my point of view."

"Are you doubting me?" You scoff, picking up the football that was tossed to the side earlier and holding it in your arms.

He laughed quietly, gazing up at you with his brown doe eyes, "Not at all."

Both of you moved towards the centre of the pitch, placing the ball in the middle of you and Sharky. You glanced up to see he was already looking at you. You thought it was to prepare himself, but something was telling you it was anything but that, behind his eyes. Shaking off the thought and ignoring it, you stood ground and prepared for the 1v1.

"Don't go easy on me." You grinned, winking at that statement.

He pretended to think for a minute but then smirked and locked eyes with you, "Never, don't worry. First, to score wins."

He counted to three, and you both aimed towards the ball, you managed to grab it first but he took it off of you, heading towards the goal while dribbling, you tried to run after him but then you saw that he was about to make a goal.

You remember him doing a nutmeg, earlier and thought maybe this was your ticket to victory, moving closer as you ran beside him trying to get the football.

But as you did, your foot got caught on his ankle causing you to spin. Your eyes widen as you see him fall back and you shut them waiting for impact.

Only when opening them do you find yourself fallen.

on top.

of Sharky.

It was too fast to stop it, and both of you didn't react until it was too late. Landing on his chest, you slowly lifted your head up to see him, his hand reaching to touch the back of his head. Your brows furrowed in worry, and pupils written in fear.

You watched as his gaze instantly shot to you, raising his head just as quick and the same worried expression you had on your face, reflecting his own one. "Are you alright?"

"No! Wait yes, I mean, are you alright? I should be asking you, not the other way around…"

Your voice trailing off, you found yourself frozen in place, a shiver of nervousness hitting your skin. Despite your brains commands to move, your body ignored it.

As part of you wanted to get up, the brain telling you to do so, the common sense in this situation, but your longing heart, the other, just wanted to keep looking into his dark eyes and get lost in them.

Dark chocolate rays fanning out around the bottomless pit of an iris, inky crescent moons trapped by a hazy, black limbal ring.

Those eyes are the colour of every tree in the forest, richer, due to the golden light from dawn to dusk. The warmth of an eternal hearth felt in those deep brown eyes.

Holding eye contact was the strongest thing you could have ever done. An achievement, a rare feeling inside of you bubbling up just waiting to come out.

For a second, you thought you imagined it, but reality hit you as you see his eyes flicker to your lips. Your mind finally taking over the reins, causing your heart to match the speed of the beads of sweat falling down.

You blinked, clearing your throat and getting up off of Sharky. You got up, stumbling, almost tripping on your own foot as you do so. The normal colour of your cheeks suddenly changing to a red hue as the warmth builds up.

Why can't you function properly today?? Placing a hand on your face, you can feel the warmth radiating, no doubt an obvious hue, seeping and shown through, you could not let him see you like this.

His brows knitted together as he took a glimpse at you, and he shifted to sit upwards, What happened? What did I do? Sharky thought, as he observed you, watching as you stood there covering your face with your hands.

Standing up now, rushing to your side, he put a hand on your shoulder as he tried to get your attention, "Are you okay?"

The smoky sound of his voice, making you feel intoxicated. The sound of your heart beating like crazy rang through your ears as you could barely make out the words Sharky was saying. Your breathing, quickening, and uneven, why were you like this?

Sharky didn't know what was happening at this point, he guessed maybe you were a bit overwhelmed with the whole football thing, and tired from all the running. He was worried but he didn't want to overthink it if it was a minor issue.

"Do you want some water?" He offered, handing you an extra bottle of water, he brought with him earlier.

"Uh, yeah…" You accepted, nodding your head frantically and taking the water from him, "Thank you." turning away from him as you drank.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

The night sky was aglow with the bright city lights of London, the shades of navy and black painted across the sky like a giant canvass, and yet the stars fought their way onto this canvass, outnumbering and conveying their glow to the eyes of people.

You were heading home now, and even though you insisted you'd be fine heading back yourself, Sharky wouldn't take no for an answer and made sure that you had to return home safely.

Walking beside each other as a small breeze hits your backs. Sometimes when you walked your hand would brush against his, and your stomach would get butterflies. Causing you to pull your hand back but not enough to make it too obvious.

The touch was electric, one that sent your nervous system to jealousy, but you couldn't help but think about it. The soft touch of his hand, what would it be like to hold it again? But… longer?

Little did you know, he was thinking the exact same thing. Earlier, he did manage to grab your hand, but only for a short spur of the moment. It wasn't technically holding your hand. It was more of a… guiding you.

Sharky wasn't gonna back down this time. He had an amazing time with you. Your laugh, your smile? He really didn't want it to end. Just one day isn't enough time with you.

How did he do it before? How did he manage to take hold of your hand earlier? Maybe it was because he wasn't overthinking back then, but now he was.

I've done way more scarier things, I got this. He reminded himself, taking a deep breath to prepare, hyping up himself as he tried to get rid of the nerves.

3… 2… 1… He reached out for your hand, but you suddenly stopped in your tracks. Turning to face the other way, he retracted his hand.

"This is my stop." You mention, as you came to a stop in front of the pathway of your home.

Shit, Sharky sighed, gaze turning to the floor. There goes that opportunity, he sighed. Why couldn't he have just done it faster?

"Alright… uh, I'm gonna go? Thank you for walking me home, Sharky." You beamed at him, flashing a shy smile as you tried to hug him goodbye.

Clearly, he didn't know it was going to be a hug because he tried to elbow bump or more of a fistbump you instead. You tried to motion to him that it was a hug and he ended up realising it with a laugh, then engulfed you in a hug, wrapping his arms around your waist as you wrapped yours around his shoulders.

"Of course," He spoke just above a whisper into the hug, and smiled to himself, good thing you couldn't see his face right now because if you could, rosy cheeks dusted his face and a wide smile stuck on his face.

If you could stay in this hug, you would, the warmth radiating from it shielding you from the night breeze. The soft fabric of his clothing hugged your figure as it provided comfort in his arms.

As you tried to pull apart, a piece of your jewelry got caught on a stray thread of his jumper, an awkward chuckle coming out the both of you as you attempted to try and just break the thread off of your necklace.

Instead, it just made the thread longer, to which you just resorted to taking off your necklace and handing it to Sharky, giving up on trying to remove the stray piece of thread.

"Just… when you get home, cut it off and give it back when you next see me." You say, a tinge of hope in your voice, hoping that he did want to see you again.

But your worries were gone when you saw him flash you a smile while he gave you a nod, holding your necklace in his hand.

As you both walk your separate ways, you're both thinking, "Why the hell, did I make that awkward?"

Days turned into weeks, and during that whole time, you'd hang out with the beta squad more and more, being in their videos to just movie nights and snacks, which included more time spent with Sharky. He did give back the necklace after a couple days, but from your perspective it looked as if he was busy those couple days.

But in reality, he was debating what day to give it back to you and how. Should it have been a gift he gives you along with the necklace? Or just hand it back to you normally? He did the latter, but it did really mess him up, a flustered mess thinking how he actually had something of yours with him.

Throughout the weeks going by, Sharky invited you to join in his videos, the fans loved you with the beta squad so he thought it would be a great thing to have you on his channel. He said it would be great for your channel too but honestly in his heart, he just craved to spend more time with you.

Every minute with you was precious, every moment and every smile. Hearing your voice, brightened his whole day, yes his heart would race and yes his breathing would be uneven thinking about you. But it didn't matter, none of it mattered as long as he was by your side.

You made everything better, and he knew it, in fact he wished every day would be with you.

He had learned a lot just by hanging out with you for videos or even just football sessions. He loved listening to your voice as you talked about your passions or just random things that came to your mind. He'd often smile as you talked, sometimes not even realising he was staring at your features.

Gazing at you was like daydreaming outside a window, it wasn't much to people on the outside, but to himself, it was something he couldn't stop himself from doing. It was addicting to say the least. You've got him hooked from the start.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

"No. Way. You have to come over right now, spill all the tea."

You let out a laugh, currently you were on a call with your friend, trying to catch up but she realised it wasn't easy to get to know all that's happened through the phone so she arranged for you to meet at her place later today.

She drove to your house, waiting in the driveway as you hurriedly got out of your house, locking the door as you left. And making your way to her car.

The weather wasn't the best, it could've been better but the raindrops hitting against the roof of the car and the floor outside didn't seem that the weather was going to get better anytime soon.

On the way to her place, she started to tell you stuff that's been going on for the past couple of weeks, exciting things and sometimes boring ones, you'd be honest sometimes you could fall asleep to what she says at times.

When you arrived at her house, she got you some warmer clothes and brought you a hot drink. Thanking her as you took a seat on her couch, her following suit.

As soon as she sat down, you knew she was going to ask you what happened in your life so far. Usually, you'd laugh and say nothing much, as she almost basically told her whole life story in the car. But this time, there was something interesting to talk about.

More like… someone.

Explaining the start of when you met Sharky, to the football training, the videos and the hangouts you told her all about the fun, but you also told her about how you couldn't function at times around him.

When you finished telling everything, she put a hand on your shoulder and looked deeply into your eyes, "You're in love, no doubt in my mind."

"Are you joking? In love?" You scoffed, averting your gaze from her to the mug you were holding, sloshing around the liquid inside of it.

"You're so delusional. Can you not see it?" She sighed in exasperation, throwing her head back to lean it against the couch.

"Last time I was in love, it didn't really turn out well." You mumbled an air of melancholy surrounding you as it clouded your features. Placing the cup onto the table as you crossed your arms in front of you and leaning back.

"Hey," She turned to you, nudging you to make you face her, "Your ex was a piece of shit." You let out a small chuckle as she continued. "You didn't ruin anything. He ruined it."

"This Sharky you're talking about clearly isn't like that. From what you're describing to me anyway. And clearly, you like him." She grins, a stupid grin on her face.

"I don't—"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that again." She cuts you off, glaring and raising one brow at you.

Your mouth snapped shut, pressing into a thin line. She has a point, one that you couldn't argue on, and even if tried, it would make you look stupid.

"C'mon, you can't deny that you didn't like that date." She teased, a knowing smirk lingering on her face as she drank the rest of her coffee.

"What date?" You raised eyebrows surprised, turning to face her.

"You know, where y'all went to a restaurant and then he taught you how to play football after?" She giggled as she saw the look on your face.

You rolled your eyes playfully, shoving her arm slightly, "Stop messing around. We didn't go on a date! It was a friendly hangout. He sees me as a friend for sure."

She gave you a look which said really? Are you kidding me?

"But is that really all he is to you?"

You gulped and thought about it, shifting your gaze to the ground. Your mind suddenly goes back to the past weeks.

When your hand would brush against his, or when his arm would be pushed near yours in a tight space, your heart would race each time without fail, and you'd think about it for days.

Or when he'd speak, his voice warm and calm, like a flowing river, soothing to one's heart. And that's how he made you feel, all warm and fuzzy on the inside, a tingle in your stomach building up.

When you'd happen to look across the room and he was standing there so perfectly, talking about something you couldn't hear with a glimmer in his eyes and the corners of his lips upturned.

And when he'd notice you looking, turning his gaze to your direction and you'd stare into his dark golden eyes, suddenly everything around you would blur out, the voice of someone speaking disappeared, and the sound of your surroundings vanished. And all you'd notice was … Sharky.

"Just date already!" Your friend laughed, cutting you out of your thoughts, shaking your head to focus again.

You would laugh it off, but the truth was that you were scared on the inside. You didn't want it to end up like your last relationship, cold and cut off. But then again, Sharky wasn't your ex. Sharky was a whole different person.

You had promised before that you wouldn't love for a long time, to heal you had said, you roll your eyes at that, you couldn't stay away.

Why? Because here you are catching feelings.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

The talk with your friend really made you think this week, made you think a lot, actually. Maybe you'd try to accept that you've fallen in love, but it's hard when you don't even know if the other person feels the same way.

It's honestly so frustrating, and yet you hate that you love the way he's making you act up like this. It's like a high school girl with a stupid crush.

You don't even know if you've been obvious to him this whole time.

But you had to ignore it, just for today, because right now you were heading to the beta squad house to film a video for Sharky's channel. A general knowledge video is what he mentioned to you.

As you arrived at the house, you were greeted by Niko as he brought you along to the sitting room. Aj, Chunkz, and Sharky were standing there talking to the camera crew.

While you walked in, you caught the eye of Sharky, waving to you as soon as he saw you, of course you waved back, but this time you took more notice of Sharky, specifically the way his eyes lit up as soon as he saw you.

Or maybe it was the way Chunkz elbowed him in the ribs immediately after Sharky waved at you, a knowing smirk on his face as he switched his focus between the both of you.

Niko turned to all of you, reminding you all that the video would start in 10 minutes, "So if you guys need to do anything, now's the time not later."

"Oh! That reminds me we've gotta get the boxes for the challenge upstairs." Sharky added, heading towards the door, but stopping before he reached it, half turning to face you all with a questioning look.

"Anyone gonna help me?"

"We three are a bit busy so," Chunkz stated, Shrugging his shoulders as he put on a cheeky smile. "Y/N can help you with that? Right Y/N?" Chunkz wrapped an arm around your shoulders as he observed his friend's reaction.

You glanced between Chunkz and Sharky, both of them waiting for your answer. You nodded hesitantly before following Sharky upstairs.

There were forfeits to this challenge, most of them being hidden in boxes that you'd have to find out during the recording of the video.

As you both walked towards the room, you hated that your hands started to sweat, and your heart started to race. The silence was deafening to your ears, you wanted to break the silence but what could you say? But you didn't have to worry much as he ended up speaking first.

Sharky cleared his throat as he opened the door, revealing a small room that had a poster covering the walls, some few items scattered around the floor and the stack of boxes, "We don't have to take them all in one go, by the way."

"Obviously not." You giggled, watching as he moved towards the boxes only to stop after hearing your sarcasm.

"Sorry." You groaned, diverting your gaze as you covered half of your face with your hand out of embarrassment.

He rolled his eyes at your response, shaking his head with a small smile.

With your help almost all of the boxes had been brought down in no time, leaving only a couple of things on the bed. You were so focused on actually helping that you hadn’t noticed Sharky walk in whilst you were picking up the cards with the questions on them.

His hand grazed over yours, slightly brushing just the back of your hand, but it was enough to make you freeze and make your heart beat like crazy.

Your mind was all over the place, nervous and flustered. Your gaze darted up and down and all over him, struggling to focus. As you glanced at his face you noticed something different…

He wasn't wearing his usual backwards hat or a durag this time, but just his hair, the way the curls formed faultlessly on top of his head, accentuating the rest of his features. He'd be on the front cover of a modelling magazine, and you could stare at it all day long.

And when he looked at you, oh boy, that's when you knew you were in for it. You can't go back, you've fallen too far ahead now. Those eyes, they hypnotise you, draw you in instantly and it's hard to get out.

"Stop looking at me like that." You half-rolled your eyes, but the corners of your mouth started to curl up against your will.

"Like what?" He chuckled, making your heart skip a beat once again. Genuinely smiling and you could tell he was curious to know what you meant as he leaned just maybe an inch closer than he already was.

When you look at me and it speaks a thousand words when our voices couldn't and when our gaze crosses from a distance, and it fills my heart with comfort.

The way your eyes have that slight crinkle at the corner of them and that makes your face the cutest when you smile and makes my heart skip a beat, all. the. damn. time.

And when those eyes are looking only at me.

"Nevermind," You dismiss him waving a hand, while looking away, missing to see that he frowns, he has that longing behind his eyes to ask what you meant but he knew he shouldn't pry any further, he didn't want to scare you away.

But he had to know. His mind couldn't stop his curious heart, and so he moved without thought, stepping closer towards you and grabbing your waist.

You yelped at the sudden closeness, eyes widening in shock at how close you both were. His face leaning towards yours with longing eyes, his lips slightly upturned at your reaction as your face started burning.

"Tell me." Sharky breathed, his eyes flickering to your lips for a second too long before gazing back into your eyes.

He was too close, too close that you could see all of his features, the small crinkle on the side of his smile, the unrivalled shape of his eyes, making him unique.

And you'd dare say you also saw a small pink dusting his cheeks.

He was too close, too close that you could feel his breath upon your lips, just centimetres away from you.

His lips looked inviting,

craving something from you.

Asking you to complete it, to fill in that emptiness, it so longed for.

Or maybe you were the one that longed for it?

And you watched as it slowly formed into a smile, glancing back up to the eyes of the owner.

You could see that he was inching closer and closer, your heart denying your every wish to stay calm.

Your mind was frightened, scared of the outcome; it was like stepping on glass, afraid to fall into nothingness and yet your heart thrived in it, determined to see through it.

Honestly, you could move, you should move. It was the smart thing to do.

And yet why didn't you move? You could've moved, told him you weren't okay with him being that close.

But you just… couldn't? It was like you were frozen in place, stuck, bound to stay here for eternity.

And so maybe that's why you shut your eyes slowly.

Waiting to accept the invitation.

But the creaking of a door opening made both of you jump and pull away, swiftly turning your heads to see who it was.

Niko raised his eyebrows, glancing back and forth between the two of you, "Am I interrupting something here?" His mouth formed into a thin line as he scratched the back of his neck, silence dawning upon his answer.

Only until a cough came from Sharky, did Niko return back to his normal self, disregarding what he said earlier and advancing towards the middle of the room, lifting a box, "Guys, we're starting the shoot in 3 minutes and you both didn't even bring down one last box?"

Walking to the door before turning to the two of you, "By the way, when I said earlier, if you have something to do, do it now. This is not what I meant." He laughed, bolting downstairs not to see yours or Sharky's reaction.

Sharky rolled his eyes, scoffing as he couldn't help but let a smile sneak on his face, as he placed his hands in his pockets. "We better head back down, I guess."

You nodded, swallowing the nerves as you took the cards back into your hands, walking beside Sharky downstairs, avoiding any contact with him.

Throughout the whole video, your mind just couldn't focus. Your thoughts going back to earlier, what would have happened if Niko didn't walk in? What would you have done if he didn't? Was Sharky even trying to kiss you and you were just delusional?

Aj kept snapping his fingers in your face every time he noticed you weren't focusing. People who would watch the video would think he's just being his usual Aj self, but in reality, he was worried.

Worried that maybe something happened, and you were going back to not feeling like your usual self.

He hated that time, he hated whenever his friends felt at their worst. He knows because he's felt that same way before, and to feel it multiple times? There's nothing worse.

And so after the video, he went up to you, to see if you were alright. He caught up to you, right as you were about to leave the house, calling out your name.

"Ay Y/N, why you leaving so fast? Are you alright?" Worry surrounded his voice as he placed a hand on your shoulder.

"I'm okay Aje, thanks." You chuckled nervously, "Just uh, tired, yeah..." Scratching the back of your neck as you glanced away.

You hoped he hadn't seen the way you tried to avoid Sharky, or the glances you took during the video, causing your heart to race every second you did.

"Thanks for having me, tell that to the boys alright?" You gave Aj a small smile, patting him on the shoulder as you pointed towards the door with your thumb, indicating you were gonna leave, stepping out the door.

"How are ya gonna get home?" He shouted after you, still at the door, watching as you walked towards the driveway.

Turning around, you pulled out your phone in your pocket showing it to him, "Uh, I'll just call a taxi." You waved at him as you left.

As soon as you turned round the corner, where the eyes of the houses were gone, you took a deep breath, trying to steady it, as you wiped your sweaty hands. You cursed under your breath, How'd one guy get you messed up like this?

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

Aj closed the door when you were out of sight, as he turned towards the sitting room where the rest of his friends were. But he stopped in his tracks, a light bulb flickering in his head as he remembered something.

He scoffed as he peered inside the room, showing Sharky, Chunkz and Niko, having a conversation around the table, sitting back with their phones in their hands.

When he turned to head to the kitchen, Aj heard Sharky's voice call out to him as he glanced back and saw Sharky walk up to him.

"What's up Aj?" Sharky asked, darting his gaze around the room, it's as if he was looking for something, "Where's Y/N?"

Aj raised a brow, something clicking in his head, as he eyed the taller man in front of him. He placed his hands in his pockets as he spoke.

"She left." Aj started, squinting his eyes at Sharky as he continued to speak, suspicion drawing in his voice, "But I was just thinking, Sharks, what happened upstairs earlier?"

Sharkys eyes went round for a split second before returning to his normal face, "What do you mean?" He chuckled.

"Don't play stupid, I know you know what I mean." Pointing a finger at him, his voice raising slightly.

Sharky diverted his gaze, staring at the ground as he scratched the back of his neck. He knew what Aj was talking about, but was it what Sharky was thinking?

Aj shook his head and sighed, "I know you like her Sharks, but …" He trailed off, getting the other Somalis' attention as he watched Aj continue.

"I was worried. She wasn't herself today. It reminded me how she acted after her ex, dazed, fake smiles, and all that shit." Aj narrowed his eyes.

Sharky's brows upturned as he listened, something aching his heart. Would it be right to ask what happened? Or would it be overstepping his boundaries if he did?

He shook his head. If it was overstepping, Aj would tell him, and so he spoke, "I don't want to pry too much, but what happened?"

"Her ex was fine at first you know? No one noticed anything off with him, he was great until he started being toxic, then we could see it from a mile away. Man flippin gaslit her into believing that he loved her the whole time." Aj furrowed his brows in annoyance, as he placed his hands on his hips.

Sharky's face was stern, no emotion on it other than in his eyes, flames of anger burning behind them, his brows knitted together.

If looks could kill, his one would have.

How could someone do that to you? Play someone's feelings like it was a game? He hated people like that. He thought it was so disgusting to even think about it. For sure, if he ever sees the guy, he's gonna have a serious talk with him.

"I don't want you breaking her heart. You're a good guy for sure so just stay that way, blud." Aj pulled a smile, looking up at Sharky as he patted his shoulder, going to the kitchen and leaving Sharky with his own thoughts.

࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚ ࿙ ࿚

He slowly went over to sit on his bed, still in disbelief. You had to go through all that? And that bastard treated you like that? Proper mad, that guy.

Something in his heart suddenly twisted, an ache, or a pain, he wasn't sure. But he didn't like the feeling, the feeling of someone hurting you? Sharky would never do that to you.

He knew he didn't like you, because he loved you. He loved you so much that it hurt to think of someone hurting you. He wanted to be there for you, always. To let you lean on him when you needed to, and to be there just to see you laugh, to see you smile.

Pulling out his phone and putting on his Frank Ocean playlist, the song "Thinkin' bout you" popped up.

He sighed quietly as he put on his airpods and laid his head on the headboard of his bed, shutting his eyes close as he listened to the song.

"I've been thinking 'bout you"

A song that was your favourite of Frank Ocean.

"Do you think about me still? Do ya, do ya?"

He smiled, remembering you first singing it.

"Or do you not think so far ahead"

"Cause I been thinking bout forever, ooh"

And that's when it hit him, forever is a long time. And he didn't want to just think forever. He wanted to experience things, experience them with you.

But how could he, if he didn't tell you that he loved you?

He wanted you, no, he needed you.

That's why he got up and ran out of his room, grabbing a jacket on the way out as quickly as possible.

That's why he fumbled rushing to get his car keys to drive to your house.

That's why he's getting into his car, not even bothering to put on a seat belt, but focusing on getting out of the driveway to head to you.

And that's why he's running up to your house, knocking at your door, in the middle of the night.

And when the door opens, revealing you, looking up shocked when you see him, that's when he knew he wasn't too late, that he could still tell you.

Sharky is always a prepared guy. He plans out things for everything, and he's normally very organised. But this was hasty, reckless even, for the first time from what he can remember, he's unprepared.

No planning, no nothing, he was just following what his heart desired in this very moment. And in this moment, he desired you.

Rushing to you? Was definitely spontaneous. But how could he complain? He'd change up his life. He'd endure through any hard circumstances if it meant he'd be by your side.

This was why he wanted to let you know, to let you know now before it was too late, before someone tried to take you away from him.

He turned his gaze to the floor, fumbling for the words to say, suddenly his mind was everywhere, words didn't exist, only feelings at this point.

But he tried, calming his heart down as he shifted his gaze back to you, taking a deep breath in to say something, anything to you.

Sharky rushed to speak, "Y/N, I'm never this impulsive, I think things through, I … I … I'm organised, I plan it all out but…" His brows drew together, sighing in exasperation.

"Agh, I can't stop thinking about you. You're making me act all different, I can't focus anymore." He rubbed his temple, trying to calm his voice, to speak clearer.

"My heart races everytime I think about you, my palms start to sweat and my brain just can't focus. Everytime I close my eyes at night your face shows up and I can't sleep."

His eyes were darting everywhere but you at this point, "Every song I listen to suddenly reminds me of you and I can't get you out of my head."

"And every. damn. glance. I take is because I can't take my eyes off you, you really steal the spotlight when you're in the same room as me. I can't concentrate."

"You honestly looked so perfect when we were filming the video earlier and before upstairs… I'm sorry. I couldn't control myself. The urge to kiss you was killing me, and if Niko didn't walk in, I would have kissed you without thinking properly."

He realised he hadn't looked at you the whole time he talked because he was afraid, afraid of what your reaction would be, afraid maybe you wouldn't have felt the same way as him.

Maybe he read the signs wrong? Maybe you didn't love him back as he did with you?

But the thing was when he did look at you, you were in shock, you stood there wide-eyed, frozen in place at his confession. You couldn't say anything, you wanted to, but nothing was coming out.

He thought he was done for, that you didn't feel the same way until he saw the bright red flush creep upon your cheeks. Your gaze softening at the Somali in front of you.

He took a deep breath, inhaling as much air physically possible because right now he felt like he couldn't breathe either. You were just there in front of him, barely even an arms reach away from him. And the urge to envelop you in his arms was too strong.

"I will treat you right, the way you should be treated. I would never do anything to harm you or hurt you. And it's because I love you. I truly love you. Please…"

This was the minimum he could do for now, Taking your hands in his soft ones, moving your gaze to his soft sienna eyes.

He knows he shouldn't be doing this right here. But he couldn't help it.

It was now or never, to think he would lose you was one mistake he never wants to make, not later, not now.

But if the pain of not having you in his heart was stronger than in his head where his logical thinking was, just for once, just one time in his life he could ignore it.

He would do anything.

Anything for you.

So he spoke, words coming out of his loving heart rather than his mind, his brain allowed his heart to speak just this once, to know, truly know what you feel.

"Let me love you."

Taglist: @b4tasquad @p3drii @n1kodl @elora-k @slutforpablogavi @enhacolor @amwife @distantfromu

Mutuals Taglist: @b4tasquad @p3drii @vctrvn-ls @allygatcr @slutforpablogavi @kennysboxergf @n1kodl @amwife @heartsforaj

Taglist for this fic: @vctrvn-ls @allygatcr @kennysboxergf @lunasmindinwriting @heartsbyvalentina @heartsforaj @elyse3s @leanamaybank

I'm sorry if anyone else wanted to be on the taglist here. Send me an ask, and I'll add you! Currently cannot think rn of who I have to add-

[weirdkpopgirl]

Friends Who Kiss | Chenle Fic #1

Title: Friends Who Kiss

Genre: Best friends to lovers, high school/college au

Warnings: mentions of the reader being insecure and having a mental breakdown at some point. a little suggestive, but not really

Word Count: ~ 5.6k

Author's Note: Okay to be very honest, I think that this story is kinda stupid and cliché. But it was an idea that I still wanted to try writing. And this is my first full-length fic for Chenle too, so I'm happy to post something for him. So to those who like cheesy romance stories, I hope you enjoy this. Thank you for reading ^ ^

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

Since the start of high school, Zhong Chenle has been a consistent part of your life. He arrived as a transfer student from Shanghai, while you were the reserved kid who often used studying as an excuse to avoid social interaction. So rather than you reaching out to him first, it was he who practically claimed you as his best friend. Your personalities were a striking contrast, but it proved to be the perfect balance. It didn't take long for the two of you to become inseparable.

However, your friendship took a turn in eleventh grade. You guys had gone to your house after school to do homework. Except it was mostly you working on assignments, while Chenle was animatedly ranting about some mobile game Jisung was terrible at playing.

“It’s unbelievable! Every time I check his character gets killed,” Chenle laughed, and you responded with a soft hum of acknowledgment.

The boy glanced up from his phone to find you engrossed in your textbooks. While your attention was focused on writing an essay, you were also trying to keep your mind from drifting to the unsettling conversation you had during lunch that day. Typically, you and Chenle sat together with his friends. But Jisung needed the boy’s help stalking his crush, so you found yourself sitting with some of the girls in your class. 

Sensing the inner conflict brewing in your mind, Chenle rose from the bed and leaned over your shoulder. 

“You've been at this since we got here. How is your brain not fried?” he asked, blunt as usual.

You shot the boy with an unappreciative glare. “It is fried. But our essay is due on Monday, and I still have to help you with yours.”

Chenle sighed, well aware of your enduring determination. Ever since he met you, he couldn’t understand why you stressed so much over assignments, especially when you always completed them before the due date. Then you somehow managed to go out of your way to ensure he was doing the same.

“You’re more than halfway finished, and I’ll get to mine on my own time,” He reassured, “Why don’t you take a break for now?”

Before you could protest, Chenle swiftly pulled you out of your chair and guided you to sit on the bed with him. Worry clouded his gaze. “Something’s troubling you, isn’t it?”

Your teeth sank into your lower lip, hating how Chenle knew you so well. He didn’t have a problem sharing what was on his mind, while you were the exact opposite. Yet, even a single look at you was enough for him to detect something was off.

“The girls at lunch were going on about their dating experiences and stuff,” you began to explain, your tone tinged with irritation at the memory. “They were all so surprised when I said I haven’t had my first kiss yet.”

You pushed yourself to meet Chenle's gaze, half dreading that he might burst into laughter. Instead, his expression held a hint of amusement, and that alone made you regret bringing up the topic.

Before he could respond, you hurriedly attempted to backtrack on your words. “It's stupid, I know—”

“It’s not stupid if it’s making you upset,” Chenle said firmly.

Leaning back in your seat, you let out an exasperated sigh. “I just can’t get their judgmental looks out of my head. All because I don’t have much experience with dating?”

Chenle's expression softened as he confessed, "There's nothing wrong with that, and there’s a lot of people like you. I haven't had my first kiss either."

“Really?!” You stared at him in disbelief. “Didn't you date Ko Mi-so though?”

Chenle scoffed, appearing slightly offended. “Okay, that happened such a long time ago. And we didn't even last a month, so we never kissed.”

Now that you thought about it, he was right about their relationship ending almost as quickly as it began. You recalled the time back in tenth grade when Chenle was quite smug about dating Mi-so, who happened to be the prettiest girl in class. Frankly, you were somewhat relieved when they broke up, given that she didn't particularly like you. Chenle hasn’t dated anyone since.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” your voice trailed off. 

The boy stayed silent for a moment before an idea dawned on him. “You know what? Why don’t we have our first kiss now?”

Your cheeks felt like they were competing for a world record in how quickly they heated up at Chenle's proposal. He couldn't possibly be serious.

“Did I hear you right?” you stammered, thoroughly taken aback by the suggestion.

Chenle nodded confidently, “I mean, we're best friends, so it's not that weird. And it's better than kissing someone we don't know as well or not have a connection with.”

You could kind of see his point. Having Chenle as your first kiss did seem much safer than kissing some random guy. Besides, it wasn’t like either of you had any underlying feelings for each other. This would solely be for practice.

“Alright,” you reluctantly agreed, “But you have to promise not to make fun of me if I turn out to be a bad kisser."

Chenle chuckled and nodded. He inched closer to you on the bed, leaving little space between the two of you. Although he saw you every day, having your face this near made a faint blush tinge his cheeks.

He started to lean in more before pausing. "Um, maybe you should close your eyes."

"Oh—right," you mumbled awkwardly, then took a deep breath before allowing your eyelids to shut.

He had to suppress a chuckle, finding you kinda cute in that moment. Before you had a chance to second-guess yourself, Chenle pressed his lips against yours in a tender kiss. Shortly after, he drew back, searching for your reaction.

“So, how was that?” He asked, voice laced with teasing.

You stared at him incredulously for a moment before realizing he was waiting for you to answer. “I suppose it was okay,” you mumbled.

Chenle tilted his head with an amused grin. “Just okay?”

“Yeah, I guess I didn't feel much because we're not really into each other like that,” you admitted with a nonchalant shrug.

Okay, you might have partially lied about not feeling much during the kiss. Truth be told, there was this strange, fluttery sensation in your chest when your best friend's lips grazed yours. But perhaps all first kisses were like that, and you were simply overthinking it.

The boy beside you let out a hearty laugh. “Well at least we got that over with.”

You had to muster all your self-control not to blush when he followed up with, “And you're not a bad kisser, by the way.”

Believing that the experiment was over, the two of you returned to your previous tasks. Nothing changed much after that day in your bedroom, as you and Chenle remained best friends. But little did you realize that this wouldn't be the last kiss you'd be sharing with him. 

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Despite your previous attempts to justify it, the second kiss you shared with Chenle happened partially because of you. As your senior year of high school unfolded, Chenle prepared for his performance at the spring festival. It was you who initially urged him to participate in the talent show. The countless times you had witnessed his piano playing and singing during your private moments together convinced you that he should share his talents with the world. Your compliments not only fueled Chenle’s ego but also prompted him to eagerly jot his name down on the sign-up sheet.

However, what you didn’t expect was to find him backstage, looking as pale as a ghost. He was supposed to go after a group of girls who were dancing to Red Velvet’s “Red Flavor.” With the intention of cheering him on in person, you spotted the dark-haired boy sitting on a chair, anxiously bouncing his legs.

“Last-minute jitters?" you asked softly.

Chenle glanced up at you and crossed his arms in a nonchalant manner. “What, me? I'm fine,” he replied, though his tone lacked conviction.

Just as Chenle knew you like the back of his hand, you were among the few who could read him. While he was partially correct about never being nervous, it didn't take an idiot to perceive that he was in that moment. It was evident he was trying to play it off to uphold his confident image. 

One aspect that troubled you about Chenle was his constant facade of cheerfulness and carefree demeanor. No one could genuinely be happy all the time, and he was the kind of person who concealed his negative feelings when around others.

After deliberating on how to address the situation, you gently rested your hand on his shoulder, bringing yourself to eye level with him.

“Hey, you’re going to be amazing out there,” you reassured him. “I’ve seen how many hours you put into practicing that song. You have nothing to worry about.”

Chenle let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, you're right.”

The smile he bestowed upon you didn't quite convince you. Biting your lip in hesitation, you glanced around to ensure no one else was nearby. Once you were sure that you were alone, you leaned down and gently planted a kiss on the boy’s forehead. Chenle’s eyes widened in surprise at your actions.

“What was that for?”

Blushing, you took a step back and stammered, “Just for good luck, you know. I—I’ll be right there in the crowd, watching you. So if you feel nervous on stage, just look at me.”

A more reassured smile spread across Chenle’s lips and before he stood up to swiftly peck you on the lips, leaving you more stunned than he was a few seconds ago.

“There, I definitely feel more ready now,” he declared with a teasing glint. And the smug Chenle you were familiar with had returned.

As Chenle’s playfulness lingered in the air, the sound of the audience clapping erupted for the girls, putting an end to your “moment.” With a knowing look, you both parted ways, allowing Chenle to step into the spotlight for his performance.

As he took the stage, you found a spot in the crowd, eyes fixed on him with awe. The rhythm of the applause filled the air, drowning out any lingering thoughts. In that moment, the stage became his world, and you couldn't help but be swept away by the magic of his talent. The earlier exchange faded into the background as you watched Chenle shine, each note and melody weaving a captivating spell that left you in admiration.

Neither of you mentioned the kiss after that day. The interaction remained more platonic than anything, a gesture that was only meant to show your support for him. But Chenle still liked to think he killed the stage because of it.

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Chenle was undeniably responsible for the next time the two of you kissed. However, this particular incident didn't unfold until the first semester of your freshman year in college. The joy of discovering you both had been accepted into the same university was palpable, though Chenle appeared to be more exuberant about the news. In contrast, you felt a sense of relief, grateful that you wouldn't be venturing into the world of college alone.

In one of your classes, a sunbae began to show interest in you. Despite your attempts to politely reject him, it became apparent that he wasn't willing to accept no for an answer. 

One day after class, he cornered you in the hallway, insisting that you go out with him. As you tried to maintain your composure, he grabbed you by the wrist when you tried to walk away. The harsh move triggered internal panic within you.

You could sense the danger in his tone as his head tilted cockily. “Come on, (Y/n), don’t be so difficult. I know you’re just playing hard to get.”

“I—I’m sorry but I just don’t feel the same as you, Sunbae,” you stuttered, trying to be assertive. “Please let go.”

Refusing to relent, the sunbae was on the verge of pulling you in closer when another hand intervened, forcefully ripping you out of his grasp. Your head turned in astonishment to see Chenle casting a disgusted look at the guy in front of you. The flames in Chenle’s eyes made you realize that you had never seen him so livid before.

“She said to let go of her. What part of that do you not understand?” Chenle’s voice cut through the tension.

The sunbae scoffed and crossed his arms in defense, “Yah, who are you to involve yourself in someone else’s matters? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

You watched as the corner of Chenle’s lips turned into a smirk as he snaked an arm around your waist in a protective gesture. 

“That’s right. So who are you to go after another man’s girlfriend?” he retorted confidently. Your eyes widened, almost surprised as the jerk in front of you.

Shaking his head in a mix of disbelief and embarrassment, the sunbae pointed a finger at you. “This is a joke, right? You just asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend to mess with me!”

Before you could respond, Chenle took matters into his own hands. His free hand briskly moved to the back of your neck, drawing you in for a passionate kiss. In a typical situation, your best friend's impulsive actions might have freaked you out immediately. However, the way his fingers delicately pressed against your back reassured you that he was doing this for your sake, Closing your eyes, you kissed back and tried to reciprocate with the same passion Chenle was pouring.

Moments later, Chenle pulled away and turned to the sunbae, wearing a satisfied grin on his face. “Do you believe her now? Not that she has to prove anything to you.”

The older male muttered begrudgingly under his breath, “Whatever, not worth my time.”

With a scowl, he stormed off, leaving behind a palpable sense of relief in the wake of his departure. Once he was gone, you removed yourself from Chenle's hold and shot him a look of confusion.

“You know you didn’t have to do that right?” 

Chenle chuckled, “Well, someone had to put an end to his nonsense. Besides, I've always wanted to play the protective boyfriend card.”

“Protective boyfriend? You almost gave me a heart attack!” You smacked him on the shoulder.

Chenle’s smirk remained, but he adopted a more concerned tone. “But seriously, (Y/n), why didn’t you tell me he was bothering you earlier?”

“I thought I could handle things on my own.” You shrugged weakly, lowering your head in guilt.

Chenle sighed, recognizing your aversion to depending on others for your problems. Throughout the time he’d known you, he'd witnessed your willingness to go to great lengths to help those you cared about. However, when it came to your own struggles, you seemed to prefer suffering in silence.

“We’re best friends for a reason,” he reminded you, “Looking after each other is 50/50, you know?”

You offered him a small smile, “I guess you’re right. Thanks for saving me today.”

“Well, you can thank me by buying food tonight,” Chenle said, the playful glint returning to his eyes. “It’s your turn anyway.”

Rolling your eyes, you let him lead you out of the building. But Chenle’s words from earlier lingered in the back of your mind. “We’re best friends for a reason.” 

The two of you were the epitome of what best friends were. And that was all the two of you would ever be, right?

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At this point, you were beginning to lose count of the number of times you’ve kissed your best friend. Despite this, your friendship maintained its familiar rhythm throughout the university. But after that hallway encounter, the awkwardness that came with kissing your best friend faded. Although it was more of Chenle seeming unfazed, and you becoming less surprised each time it happened. And indeed, there were a few more instances that caused your lips to meet.

Like the time Chenle excitedly dragged you to his dorm to watch a Golden State Warriors game, and, in the heat of the moment, he gave you a quick kiss before cheering some more. Then there was the other time when you both went out for drinks with friends, a few drunken kisses were shared.

There weren't any real feelings attached to the kisses you and Chenle shared. At least, that was what you repeatedly told yourself. However, as you were halfway through your first year of university, you finally started to question the true nature of your friendship with Zhong Chenle.

Those thoughts began to sink in just before your first finals in college. Isolated in your dorm room, you immersed yourself in studying for a math exam scheduled in three days. Calls and texts from friends went largely ignored as you turned off your phone in an attempt to focus. However, Chenle wasn't about to let that slide. 

One night, he let himself into your dorm, carrying a bag of your favorite takeout—knowing well that you tended to skip meals when stressed. You could see the determination in his face, ready to scold you. But the expression quickly transitioned to one of concern when he caught you on the verge of a breakdown. 

You sat at your desk surrounded by textbooks and notebooks filled with scribbled equations. The sight of your trembling body and slightly tousled hair, a result of pulling on it too hard, tugged at Chenle’s heart. He was well aware of how your anxiety affected you at times. But he had never witnessed it manifest quite like this.

Instantly, the bag was placed on the floor, and he was at your side. “(Y/n), what's wrong?" 

“I—I'm going to fail my calc final,” you swallowed, your fingers curling into fists. Your shoulders slumped, and the weight of despair was evident in the way you hunched over the desk.

He placed a hand on your shoulder, attempting to calm you down. “You still have a few weeks before finals, (Y/n). And you’re not going to fail.”

“Yes, I am!” you cut him off, your voice strained. Tears welled up in your eyes, and your hands clenched even tighter. “I’ve been studying for days, and my dumb brain still doesn't understand anything. Do you know how stupid I feel?”

“Being bad at math doesn’t make you stupid, (Y/n),” Chenle said, trying to inject a bit of lightheartedness into the situation. However, his comment didn’t seem to offer you any comfort.

You shook your head miserably in response. “Stop trying to be nice. I'm going to fail, and then I’ll end up letting down my parents and everyone else.”

Chenle’s heart ached at the defeat in your voice. Setting his jokes aside, he recognized that words weren’t what you needed at the moment. Instead, he enveloped you in a warm embrace. You hesitated only briefly before surrendering to his comforting hold, attempting to fight back tears.

“Just let it out,” he whispered.

Those simple words acted as an emotional release trigger, and Chenle found himself gently rubbing your back as you quietly cried into his shoulder. A sense of mixed emotions flooded him as he held you in that moment. A part of him felt a twinge of relief, grateful that you let him be there for you. You often kept your emotions bottled up, making it a challenge for him to discern how you truly felt at times. 

However, there was a pang of sadness accompanying that satisfaction. He knew you didn't just cry in front of anyone, and realizing that you had reached this breaking point signaled the depth of your struggle.

After a while, Chenle gently pulled back, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You need a break, (Y/n). Let’s step away from the desk for a bit.”

"No, I really should—" you began to protest, but Chenle cut you off.

"You really should eat the food I brought you before it gets cold," he insisted, picking up the bag again.

He led you to sit on the carpet of your cramped dorm room, creating a makeshift dining space for the two of you. As you both shared a meal, Chenle continued to provide a comforting presence, occasionally cracking a joke to lighten the atmosphere.

As the night wore on, the exhaustion in your eyes became more prominent. Even so, you knew you should go back to studying. But Chenle seemed to disagree.

“Maybe you should just rest for the night. I promise to help you with math in the morning,” he suggested. However, upon seeing the unconvinced look you gave him, he backtracked on his words. “Okay, I'll have Renjun help you.”

Too tired to argue, you gave in, and that's how you found yourself lying in bed with your best friend. Back in high school, you used to have sleepovers at his house on the weekends. At night, the two of you would be lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and talking about anything. However, having him beside you at that moment felt strange. 

You saw a sincere tenderness reflected in those large eyes of his. A part of you wondered if Chenle often gazed at you with such fondness and you simply hadn’t noticed before. Either way, the way he was looking at you made you feel even stranger. And the short silence that had settled between the two of you wasn’t helping.

Uncertain of how much longer you could endure the intensity, you broke eye contact with him and murmured, “Thank you for always being there for me, even when I try to push you away”

Chenle chuckled, adjusting his position to prop himself up on his elbow. “Well, of course, because how could you live without me?”

His ability to joke at a time like this struck you as unfathomable. Instead of the usual eye roll or pushing off the bed, a serious expression remained etched on your face. 

“You're right, I don't think I can live without you,” you said, your voice laced with drowsiness. “Because you’re one of the few people who truly care about me.”

The amusement in his eyes danced away, as he felt the gravity of your words. Something about seeing this vulnerable side of you was so beautiful in his eyes. Before he could fully process his own thoughts, Chenle found himself leaning in to close the space between you with his lips meeting your own.

Uncertain whether it was the leftover stress from your meltdown or the sleep deprivation that prompted you to kiss back without much thought. You could recall all the times you’ve kissed Chenle throughout the years. But this one would always stand out to you.

This kiss lasted a lot longer than your previous ones. But it wasn’t just the way he tilted your chin upward for a better angle, or the feeling of his dark locks of hair slipping between your fingers. Nor was it the soft pressure of his lips moving in sync with yours. It was the indescribable emotions that made time seem to stand still, weaving an unspoken connection that surpassed words and left you yearning for more.

Aside from pulling away, both of you gasping for breath, and noticing how Chenle's lips were redder than you had ever seen them, you vaguely recalled what happened after the kiss. When you woke up the next morning, Chenle was already gone. However, he had left you a text message, mentioning that he went to check if Renjun could help tutor you in math.

But math was no longer the sole stressor in your mind. Your best friend had kissed you last night, and unlike all the other times, this one left you feeling more confused than ever. 

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True to his word, Renjun offered to meet up with you that Sunday afternoon at the campus library. Within an hour of sitting down to unravel the calculus concept that eluded you, Renjun finally helped you grasp the material. Although the looming fear of failing finals had diminished, you still felt a weight on your shoulders.

“You don’t seem as relieved as I thought you’d be,” Renjun remarked lightheartedly. Even he could tell your mind was preoccupied with something else.

You smiled sheepishly, “No, I am! I seriously owe you for helping me out. I just…”

“Is it something to do with Chenle?” he asked, almost like he was a mind reader.

His unexpected question caught you off guard. “How did you know?” you stammered, feeling the heat quickly rise to your cheeks.

A knowing smile played on the boy’s lips as he leaned back in his seat. “Oh come on, (Y/n). You have that look on your face that something happened between the two of you.”

Sometimes you seriously wished Renjun wasn’t so good at reading people. Even though you weren’t as close to him as Chenle was, he’s known you long enough to notice things that others wouldn’t. For instance, when something was troubling you.

Biting your lip, you debated whether to be truthful with Renjun. Although you didn't typically share your problems with others, you recognized that confiding in someone at a time like this was necessary to maintain your sanity.

“Chenle kissed me last night,” you tossed the statement out in the air, hoping you wouldn’t regret it.

Renjun’s eyes widened at this revelation, “He did?!”

“Well you see, we’ve kissed before. But this time it felt different,” you clarified, baffling the boy across from you even more. Internally cringing, you were acutely aware of how bad this sounded.

Before he could question, you continued to elaborate. “Look, it's not as complicated as it sounds. It’s just ever since we agreed to be each other’s first kiss, Chenle and I just keep having these…accidental kisses. Whether it’s out of excitement or to get guys hitting on me to go away.”

Renjun listened quietly as you recounted all the other times you’ve kissed Chenle. When you circled back to the previous night, you felt more conflicted than ever.

“But the kiss last night left me feeling so confused,” you confessed, running a hand through your hair. “Initially, I thought he was just doing it out of comfort, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Well, have you considered the possibility that he has feelings for you?” Renjun inquired, crossing his arms. His suggestion sounded so simple, yet it felt like navigating uncharted territory in your mind.

You shook your head in denial. “N—No, I mean we’ve been best friends for five years. He can’t possibly see me that way.”

“Like that’s ever stopped friends from falling for each other,” Renjun cocked his head. “It doesn’t take a genius to know that he likes you, (Y/n).”

His point made you mentally curse. If you looked at your history with Chenle from an objective point of view, the two of you certainly didn’t act like normal best friends.

“And, it’s pretty obvious that you like him too,” Renjun added, twirling the pencil between his fingers.

His statement left you feeling exposed, as if you had been caught red-handed committing a crime. Laughing nervously, you shook your head, “Renjun, we’re just friends. I…I don’t see him that way.”

Renjun raised an eyebrow, “Friends who kiss? Did you really not feel anything in those moments?”

Your teeth sank further into your lower lip as Renjun’s question hit you. The reality of your feelings for Chenle lingered in the air, challenging the facade you had built to convince yourself otherwise. It was like trying to hold sand in your fists, slipping away no matter how tightly you clenched. The truth, however inconvenient, seemed to be unraveling before you.

“I…I did feel something,” you slowly admitted, “But I never said anything because I didn’t want our friendship to change. It just seemed easier to pretend those moments were nothing more than accidents.”

Renjun’s eyes softened with understanding. “Well maybe a little change is what you need in your friendship.”

Maybe Renjun was onto something, perhaps change was necessary. In the past, you had always held out on dating, using the excuse that you were waiting for the right person. Despite the fear of potential rejection, what if Chenle was the person you had been waiting for all along?

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Chenle’s living room bathed in the gentle glow of the TV screen, a familiar sight during your Friday movie nights since college began. It was supposed to be a time to unwind, to escape the pressures of school for a little while. However, instead of the usual peaceful and easygoing atmosphere, an unspoken tension hung in the air tonight. Beyond picking a movie and deciding who made the popcorn, you and Chenle barely talked. The weight of the unspoken words made the space feel suffocating, and you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in your chest.

Unable to endure the weighty silence any longer, you turned your head to make a lame comment about the movie. However, before you could speak, Chenle beat you to it.

“Can we talk?” His voice carried a hint of restlessness, an unusual departure from his usual tone.

Trying to maintain a casual demeanor, you lightly nodded. With your acknowledgment, Chenle exhaled deeply and sat up straighter to face you properly.

“I know how crazy this might sound,” he started, running a hand through his hair. “But I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think we can stay friends.”

His words felt like a gun being pointed at your chest, panic surged within you as you tried to process the boy’s words. Of all the ways you predicted this conversation could go, this was not one of them.

“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice even smaller than his.

Noticing the perplexity in your eyes, Chenle continued. “You see, I've been in love with you for—I don’t know how long. But I spent all these years burying my feelings like a fool, because I never thought you’d see me that way. Yet, every time we kiss, it becomes harder for me to ignore my feelings for you.”

Chenle glanced down at his folded hands, vulnerability seeping into those brown orbs of his. “The other night made me realize that I don’t want to just be friends who kiss anymore. I want to be something more to you.”

His words lingered in the air now that they were out in the open. Your heart raced faster than it ever has before, as your cheeks flushed with heat. Chenle’s eyes bore into yours, his expression nervous yet hopeful. 

For a moment, you were left speechless. But you still had the sense to hit him on the shoulder, scolding, “Oh my gosh, you can’t start a conversation like that, Chenle. You scared me!”

The boy chuckled sheepishly, rubbing his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. But seriously, (Y/n), I meant what I said.”

A mix of emotions played on your face before you quietly admitted, “Honestly, I’ve wanted to be something more to you since that day we kissed in my bedroom.”

You noticed a smile of relief beginning to form on his lips, but you held up a finger before he could say anything. Now that he had taken the first step, you decided it was time for you to do the same.

“But I kept trying to convince myself that all the times we kissed were accidental or just for comfort,” you confessed, looking directly into his eyes. “And the reason I’ve been pushing away my feelings for you was because I was afraid of losing a friend who means the world to me.”

His hand rested on top of yours, the light touch sending a shiver down your spine. “You don’t have to be afraid because you’ll never lose me, (Y/n).”

The softness and sincerity in his eyes made you want to cry for some inexplicable reason. You once believed that confessing your feelings for Chenle would only lead to frustration and heartbreak. However, as you sat here with him, holding his hand, those worries seemed to vanish.

“So…what do we do now?” you asked, unsure of what was supposed to come next in these situations.

A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he grinned. “I think this is the part where we kiss. But you know, as boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Just as you were processing his words, he moved closer, his breath warm against your skin, making your heart flutter. His eyes searched yours for permission. 

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” you whispered.

With that, the distance between you closed, and your lips met in a tender kiss. It was a sweet surrender, a culmination of years of friendship and suppressed feelings. Although this wasn’t your first kiss with Chenle, it felt that way in a sense. For you could finally savor the tender feeling of his lips without questioning the intention behind it.

In that moment, all you focused on was the way Chenle had his hand on the small of your back, guiding you closer as he deepened the kiss. Your fingers found their way to rest on the nape of his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin. 

Although the change in this dynamic had just begun, this newfound connection promised countless moments of shared laughter, whispered confessions, and the sweet warmth of shared kisses. You had a feeling that you could easily get used to this beautiful new normal. By the way Chenle smiled during the kiss, you could tell he felt the same way.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

[apeninastory]

ivan as a tragic-love character (pt.4c?) (nowhere edition)

Part 2 here. I RE-READ THIS A COUPLE OF TIMES BUT HONESTLY MY BRAIN IS SO FRIED I AM NOT SURE WHAT THIS POST CONTAINS. i may have exagerated and also forgotten something, but there is at least another post abt ivan waiting, soooo...

omg i feel like i could write a whole book abt ivan, i swear. i am finally where i wanted to be - the new song, the one that took over my brain and that i kinda want to listen to in repeat for the rest of my life.

and mind you - this is "Ivan Part 1". PART. 1. WTAF.

9] nowhere.

this is probably the moment nowhere is born. ivan's hypocris and dissonance gave birth to this - which may be why the lore of this CD tells us it was found by chance, stored in Anakt Lost and Found Center and recorded as sold by an unknown donor. that means, he probably composed, wrote and recorded nowhere back in anakt, before graduation - though i like the idea of ivan composing this after it, in the period of time he didn't see till, mizi and sua, a period where memories might have taken over his mind and made him nostalgic, restless.

[who is the unknown donor and why is it ivan himself?]

i feel like it is much more personal and raw than black sorrow, and since i am obsessed with ivan, i can't resists its call - it is now my favourite among all the alnst tracks.

the cover.

this is, like, the first step. where the tears start.

it is not our first time seeing little ivan from the slums-arc, but every time, it feels like a punch on the face. the little snaggletooth is there, he is dirty and wears worn out (lab?) clothes and his eyes are so so empty, i can barely stand looking at him without crying.

another important element: the small feet belonging to one of the kids - toes are missing. did those, dunno, froze and got removed? did adults/aliens remove them to torture the kid/make him incapable of running away/as a punishment of sort? no idea. as i said, i love the idea of ivan being born in an illegal factory for pet humans - it would fit so so well - born as a commodity from the very beginning.

like, how much more miserable do i want my baby to be? yes.

the title.

it's nowhere, but for the cover they went like "no, let's play something" and split it in now here. obvious question: why?

nowhere is undefined - it's a no-place, it means "not in or to any place; not anywhere". it might suggest ivan's lack of a sense of belonging, again, the insecurity that comes with not having a stable life - practically and emotionally.

now here is a bit more defined - here is a place, but where, exactly? and is it only a place or more a situation, a moment, a condition? probably both - like, "now i am here, doing this, being this, within this situation and that's it". the song should tell us more!

the lyrics.

and then the music starts.

In love with you When you were mine In love with you (reverse?) In love Love Love always You In love Love always

wow. just - mindblowing.

this is Ivan's solo, his own song, like hyuna's drunk & party and love & peace. the appearance of the world love is incredibly important, but i don't think it defines the theme of the whole song.

what it does is set the pov - this song is written/composed in a moment where ivan: already knows this word + thinks he knows what it means (and links it to till).

the fact that these verses sound radio-like, distant, as if ivan is listening to them instead of actively singing. it creates a gap between them and the rest of the song. it feels like he is composing the song in a moment when he already knows is love is doomed, so he rewinds back to his own origins and speaks abt himself. the song is written by a Ivan who already knows everything, so we can find traces of "future events" in verses of the song that are supposedly about the past.

these words also sound distorted - love is not sweet sounding and charming and light, like my clematis, nor it is energetic and hopeful like unknown until the end, with till wishing to know more and singing abt his resilience. no. in nowhere, love is raspy and numb and has darker hues - it is obsessive, haunting, just like how these verses resound for the entire song in the background.

they sound like a condemnation and a reminder: ivan loves, can't help but love, has no choice but to love, is condemned to love, chose actively to love. they also sound like he is drilling the word into the listener's head by repeating to it non-stop, in an obsessive cycle.

Nowhere, from beginning to end a stained history It freely chatters away That always happens to me

Key words: history, beginning to end. i already said many times, but ivan is a narrator. this is the starting point of ivan's story, ivan's realities, both the one he begins to write abt himself (or tries to) and the one from where we can glimpes at the real ivan. the lyrics might have started with "once upon a time there was a black-haired boy..." and get the same effect. he recounts a history (his own) that is real to him, that mirrors his life - but we can't totally believe him. let's keep this in mind!

we know this story ends in black, with an empty spot and blood (black soooorroooooow), but how does it start? this song has references to ivan's past and life at anakt, so it was probably written slighlty before graduation (since the CD was found in anakt warehouse and an unregistered track - how ivan recorded it is a mystery, but we know he has knowledge and priviledges other do not have). either that, or after graduation/before alien stage, and he somehow found a way to sneak the CD there.

that is probably why he writes "from beginning to end, a stained history": he remembers the beginning and is in a position where he can already predict the end of the story - stained, never pure, since the very start, as if his life was destined to be like that.

what abt the "freely chatters away" verse? i'm not sure, because how can someone's history chatter away? i think we can see it as "it freely chatters away from my mouth", like this story spills from ivan easily, like he can easily build lies for the sake of keeping this illusion, this mask he has, going. the expression apparently indicates someone speaking fluidly, in a relaxed way, but also rambling for a long time. it may suggest that, while from the outside ivan looks smooth and collected, from his point of view this is all rambling, it's the fictional-ivan he created for the sake of the society he lives in - a ivan he needs and uses and maybe resents.

"that always happens to me" reinforces the "beginning to end" part of the song - he is singing abt a common theme in his life in a dejected tone, resigned, like he knows/feels he can't do anything abt it and is okay with it. the stain is permanent and he is destined to "that".

Nowhere, rose-tinted rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me

this is where it gets super super interesting. if in the previous part ivan was warning us abt this being a story (his story and/or the story he is writing abt himself), we are now within ivan's narration.

ivan is still nowhere, but we have some coordinates: a "rigid dream and hope" dyed in rosy hues. he tells us about the existence of a dream immersed in a light, delicate color - the color of stereotypical love/affection (?), of beautiful things. also, this dream/hope is rigid, which is not very dream-like or hopeful.

contrasting images, how fitting for our living oxymoron!

a dream may be something that is commonly regarded as beautiful and ideal (a dream), but that for ivan is rigid - forced? unnatural? a dream he has to fit in in order to survive/blend in/function in the society he finds himself in, perhaps. i explained how other kids at anakt see him and how he makes himself friendlier and smilier. this may be it.

we could also make it abt romantic love. maybe ivan is trying to fit into a vision of love he can't fully embrace/mirror, so he perceives it as stiff. i hope i'm about to phrase it in the right way, but a nice example might be the contrast between mainstream and/or hetero depiction of love vs lgbt depiction of love. ivan being (canonically?) gay gives this idea even more credit - in a normal world, without aliens, surrounded by ways of loving ivan doesn't identify in, this sentence presents his discomfort abt not fitting in stereotypical love.

of course alnst!ivan doesn't have that benefit, but i think this discourse may work as some sort of parallelism: ivan can't love the way he sees other people love. take mizi and sua, for example. in ivan's eyes, they fit the "rose-tinted dream and hope", it is not "stiff" if he puts them in it, then he thinks about himself, abt how he loves (loves till) and it doesn't work anymore.

[we could associate it to till's depiction of love - the rosy hues of this dream are not to be intended as stereotypical, but as the ideal love till wants (sees in mizi) and ivan can't give - perhaps, but i'd like to focus on ivan]

"it's stained with blood", here we come to the stained history from before - stained with what? eh. ivan's life started with blood and ended with blood (his own), but also the blood of humanity, of the people he meets, also destined to a bloody end because of the world they live in. a rosy dream, a rosy hope, the blabbering wonders of a young mind end in red, in blood, and the contrast is as good as it is painful. what is the point of trying to fit in an illusion like that when he already knows what the end will be? that's why his story was stained from the beginning - the end was clear as day since ivan's first opened his eyes.

yeah. "that's just how it is", after all, from ivan's pov. he is resigned to it, so the illusion gives him no comfort, prevents him from fitting in. and again, it is something that always happens to him. what is it? not belonging. he is nowhere, in a story written by him that is stained since the beginning (his birth) to the end (his death), a story with no hope of redemption or finding better condition - a story where not even a dream can give him hope.

My sky, shaped by the world doesn't even let me stand under it I lay down and look at yesterday's daydream, all torn up

i love this part. okay.

"my sky" - the sky is something everyone has above their head. it's just there, no matter the planet. adding "my" kinda gives it something poetic abt it, as if the narrator is not reffering to the sky, but a particular something/someone that can be equated to the sky. while this is a possible interpretation

[again, the sky and the color teal resonate with each other, it is an interesting way of fitting till here, but it's not only that!]

we need to dig a bit more. how many skies did ivan see? the one in the slums - glimpses between rundown buildings -, the night sky before his auction, the fake baby blue at anakt, the red metor shower sky with till, the (fake?) one above the stage he died on. what do the have in common? all are concessions/creations given to him by others. adding "my" makes it interesting, because the sky is not something that can belong to a person, but we know ivan feels a connection with what the sky holds.

"shaped by the world" - that's why he added this. it is "his" sky in the measure which it was shaped by someone/something else. his birth, aliens, till, these are all entities that influenced the "sky" ivan claims as "his", as if to say "i can't have the whole thing because so many have taken it away from me/have limited the sky i could reach".

"doesn't even let me stand under it" - not only that, not only the slice of sky he can have is limited, his sky (this remaining slice) doesn't even accept him. how heart-breaking is this? because we know the sky isn't guilty - this is how ivan perceives himself. he feels rejected by people and by the world, as if it was saying to him that he shouldn't have been born. after all, if the sky does't let him stand under it, what place does ivan have left?

this speaks to me abt his authentic inability to belong. while i think we can say that it is not true that he is unwanted, it is not true that the world rejects him, i can sure understand why he sees himself like that - abandoned, ill threated, sold off, "unloved", used as a commodity. his view of himself, crooked as it is, is not baseles.

he can't have a physical place - so he creates his own reality.

saying "I lay down and look at yesterday's daydream, all torn up" makes me think abt little ivan, back on the ground, staring up the same way we would lay on grass and watch the clouds move.

"yesterday" - we can take it literally, so the day prior, of more figuratively, it may refer to the past. the story progresses: there was a time when ivan used to have dreams, maybe rose-tinted, maybe those same dreams he can't fit in now, and he regards them now as something from the past, from which he now distance himself

"daydream" - these were not unconscious dreams made at night, but dreams he conjured willingly, his own narrative, the story of the ivan he wanted to be all tangled in this song.

"all torn up" - like he knows better, now, than to abandon himself to them. they are all torn up, probably by the awareness that they are dreams, and that ivan can't fit in.

ivan is talking abt the attempt at dreaming he made when he was young, and abt his discovery/awareness that it doesn't work for him. let's think of the meteor shower event with till. by escaping with him, ivan tried to fit into till's dream (freedom), but failed. so he stares at this, at his "yesterday's daydreams", and replays them in his mind.

does this mean he stops dreaming? honestly, i don't think so. ivan is a hopeless romantic (not strictly related to love, but "of, characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality"), a drama queen, a narrator. part of the frustration this song suggest may be related to the fact that despite knowing it is useless, he can't help but doing it.

welcome to humanity, baby! human beings and their souls crave for art.

Fly far, far away Never, never again Come back to me Because it's easier to forget It's so typical Typical to me

although not explicitly said, it appears that here ivan is not talking to himself, seems to be referring to a "you". he doesn't have problems with mentioning himself in the lyrics (happens to me, my sky, I lay down), so it must mean something!

i am a bit torn, here, because it could still mean that he (present ivan) is speaking to little ivan. like he wants to chase away his vulnerable and inexperienced past self, so distant from the ivan he became and needs to be in order to live in relative peace until the end. "fly away from my mind, don't let me reminesh, don't let me remember, forgetting is easier, safer, as i am used to force myself to live survive in ignorance". he could also be asking him(self) to escape, at least within the dream - to go far, far away, in a safe place, so not to experience what he had.

but. in love with you, when you were mine. daydreams and hope and blood stains, a sky that doesn't want him... it feels like ivan isn't only at war with himself, but with a different stain, a different imprint, a different someone. the robotic voice is still there, in the background, like a reminder that this is not only about the ivan-self.

ivan is trying to get rid of something.

he is inviting that something to go away, or maybe chasing it away from him, to safety. imagine that something is a someone. imagine that someone is till. now take these words and make them abt till: "fly away from my mind, don't let me reminesh, don't let me remember, forgetting is easier, safer, as i am used to force myself to live survive in ignorance". what if he is telling till to go away becausse he doesn't want to hurt him with his words and behaviour anymore? what if he also doing it for himself? because if ivan doesn't think abt till, if he doesn't think abt the meteor shower, if he doesn't think about alien stage being the place where one of them will probably have to die, he can put all his efforts into his performance and win. we know he can - r3 ended with him making 90 points. till is good, but r6, absent-minded till? ivan could win. it's just that in the end, he can't.

i like both interpretation, because they both force ivan to face parts of himself he probably doesn't like or can't accept or even better, can't understand.

Wake up, wake up In my overwhelming daily life Is it for real? An existence like dust I can't stand to look at it Close my eyes And my mind

"wake up" - he is talking to himself now. as i said, i don't think adult ivan stops dreaming just because he can't abandon himself to his daydreams the way others do. the point his, waking up is like a slap in the face for him - his daily life is overwhelming: medical experimentations, lessons, alien stage awaiting him, songs to record, death, and what remains of him? "an existence like dust"

he can't stand the idea of keeping his eyes on it. he can't find refuge in the dream (so he turns off his mind), he can't find solace in reality (so he closes his eyes). are you starting to get why the song is called nowhere?

Worse and worse This painful wound I become more and more numb In the dark City lights I Can't find anyone Anyone Anyone

the "painful wound" can be a a trauma (his past, threatment at anakt, meteor shower) or simply a mix of everything - it can be his whole life, perceived as a festering wound he can't heal from, that makes him number and number to everything, both dream and reality. the darkness has lights, but no one in sight.

Nowhere, from beginning to end a stained history With that revolting tooth That always happens to me

the chorus repeats, but with a variant - "With that revolting tooth", the saggletooth we and the alien public all love.

hatred toward himself - ivan is incredibly critical of himself, but not in a neautral, objective way. he finds this detail of him "revolting", which is too strong a word and confirms that he cannot be objective when it comes to himself. baby, you are beautiful???? NOTHING is revolting abt you. what the hell.

it may be a reminder of something that happened to him in the slums, though. a trauma, a critica, tortures? i wish i knew!

Nowhere, seeped in purple rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me

his dream and hope take a different hue - purple. it is getting darker, if we think they were initially tinted in a rose-colour. it feels like his daydream is maturing, that there is a temporal shift, so while his first daydreams were rosy, growing up they became purplish. heading toward black?

That's just the kind of kid he is, so laugh Laugh, because he can't do anything No one cares about someone like him There's nowhere in the world for him to rest That's just how he is

another super interesting part. look at the change in subject: he.

i wrote abt ivan's dissonance, his splitting in two, the frustration he feels with himself. i also said he is trying to get rid of something, and it makes a lot of sense that that something is the side of himself he resents/can't understand/can't reason with.

notice how the way he sings this and the next part gets quicker, more raspy, less elegant. it feels like a punch in the face with how intense it is. ivan sounds resentful. not angry, maybe - his voice is soft, haunting, resigned for most of the song, but here? he is letting it all go. he is venting, releasing. "there is nothing to do, kid, things are bound to stay the way they were, the way they are, so just laugh and keep smiling because no one will ever care about you. don't even try, don't look for a place to be, this is how things are and no amount of dreams/efforts will change things up."

so. he is talking to himself. nowhere is a letter to his past self - little ivan, lost between the slums, his daydreams and the hope to be loved. his tone grows louder, more livelier for a moment, because he is feeling it all.

He's smooth, flexible, quite easy Just go past it like it doesn't bother you It's nothing, shake it off and stand tall Again, it's nothing, shake it off and stand tall Like nothing happened

and after talking to himself, he mentions till. i can't fit the English sentence here as something ivan tells himself/kid ivan, it is far from how he perceives himself. the sentence is also in English, so it's like he is highlighting the change in subject.

that's why he reminds himself "don't bother, don't think, ignore it all, forget that it all happened". what? the meteor shower. it comes back to that as a moment where not only till, the whole dream of ivan being able to fit in splits and falls apart - the starting point of the dissonance that will lead ivan to composing this song.

Wake up, wake up In my beautiful life Is it for real? An existence like dust I can't stand to look at it Close my eyes And my mind

the dream has collapsed, so back to reality - the reality he built for himself, where he can control things. this life is beautiful, but it is obviously a lie, because his existence is still like dust, and he still needs to keep eyes and mind closed.

the wound keeps festering - the reality he builds for himself is to have the illusion of a place to stay, but not a mind-numbing one. he knows he doesn't belong, doesn't pretend to find a place for himself, that's why the rest of the verses are the same. it's still him and he is still aware, but there is a disillusioned acceptance to his role.

Nowhere, from beginning to end A festering histerie With these cruel lips That always happens to me

this is also where the anger and loathing he feels toward himself most emerge, i think.

"festering" reminds us of the wound ivan lives with, the one that keeps hurting and keeps him numbed to the pain, but here it is linked to hysteria ("exaggerated or uncontrollable emotion or excitement"). so it really is something ivan feels he can't keep under control. perhaps, the process of putting all this darkness in a song was meant to be cathartic.

"with those cruel lips" makes me wanna scream. because even though i logically link this to ivan and to what he said abt himself in this comic, the song keeps presenting us with instances where we can link some verses to till instead - ivan has been cruel to him, from ivan's pov, but maybe, a part of ivan also blames till for cruelly ignoring him and his sorrow.

Nowhere, seeped in black rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me That always happens to me That always happens to me

"seeped in black"!!!!! darkness fell, ivan's heart is still once more, he is once again in control - resigned to his fate, or better, the fate he assigned himself.

"black" winks at black sorrow - and perhaps this is the moment ivan began to plan his willing demise.

this may also be why the cover says "now here": ivan is here, in pre-alien stage, with this song in his hands, with these memories freshly extracted from his mind, freshly recollected. he disposes of it all and goes back to the short life that remains him, the chaos in his head appeased, the confusion numbed, ready to head toward the black end.

° * °

ivan is presented with all these contrasts and complications and differences between what he would have wanted to be (his dream) and what his reality has to offer (till loving mizi, ivan loveless and unlovable, a death game with an inevitable ending).

i thought nothing hurt more than black sorrow, but this song is painfully ivan. it couldn't have gotten more personal than this, and it makes my heart ache so much.

this is the song the pictures ivan most perfectly. this is also the song ivan never wanted us, everyone, to find. the dissonance and hypocrisis in himself grew to a point that he probably needed to let it out - and what's the best way to do it for someone like ivan who seldom even feels like needing to let it all out? music. he has been studying it profoundly, knows it can be cathartic - has seen his friends, especially till, use music as a medium for emotions, both controlled and bottled up.

he composes and writes this to be abt himself - maybe abt his friends, maybe against the system -, but he does and narrates himself the way he sees himself, the ivan that he thinks he is. we know he is an unreliable narrator, and the song tells us exactly that: this is ivan, someone who can't be trusted when describing himself, so in a way, the unreliability is ivan's most accurate portrait.

he probably felt naked after recording this, so i have a strong feeling ivan himself disposed of it - that is why it was "found" in a warehouse - as the song is ivan's story, but also a cry against the system for making him like this and a love/hate letter, to till and to himself. he couldn't let anyone find it before his death, now, could he?

PART 4!!

[cyberrose2001]

Hi!!! I love your works! 🥰 I was wondering if I could request a Tfp bots (Op/wheelJack/knockout) reaction to their s/o who is very sweet and shy normally who’s in uni but what they don’t know is that she’s a stripper/exotic dancer late night to pay her tuition and they see her perform and later they make her do a performance for them only and gets smutty 😏😳🤭 sorry if it doesn’t make sense my English isn’t the best 😭 (also totally not projecting at all I am a pole dancer to pay for uni and damn well I treat myself well hehe, if you ever do commissions I’ll be ready 🤣)

TFP Optimus, Wheeljack, Knockout w/ Stripper Reader

I'm so sorry that this took forever! My brain may be fried but this was still so fun to write! I'm sorry if I got some things wrong, I'm still learning how to translate choreography into words (and I know very little about being a stripper oop).

As much as I wanted these to be short, my fingers slipped and I wrote whole ass fics for each of them. So be warned, this post is VERY long! I hope you enjoy! <3

18 + ONLY MINORS DO NOT READ

Warnings: Stripper reader, mentions of alcohol use, small mention of blood, smut/valveplug, blow jobs, sticky sexual interfacing.

Word count (combined): 5,981

Optimus

Was this a bad idea? Maybe, but you'll worry about the consequences in the future. For now, you slowly approach a mass-displaced Optimus Prime sitting on a metal stool that is still far too small for his frame, who still towers over your body by a solid two feet. He's watching every step you take in every click-clack of your six-inch pleaser heels. The small portable speaker you set up begins to play a bassy remix of 'Dirrty' and 'Talk Dirty', respectively called 'Talk Dirrty'—a fitting song since you're about to lay down the dirtiest heat onto the flustered mech burlesque style.

This was Optimus' idea, after he had followed you on your lonesome to a local nightclub on the outskirts of Jasper, duffle bag in your hand. He wanted to ensure you were safe, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he watched your little… performance for the locals from a side window. Safe to say, you were embarrassed once you had returned to the base at an ungodly hour, and he was, of course, still awake. But he had politely asked to see a performance of yours first-hand. And that's how you both ended up in this situation, in Optimus' quarters, door locked.

The first bassy note fills the room, accompanied by Christina's melodic voice as you flick your hair back, shaky hands dragging down your chest to your hips. A little taste of what's to come. Your hands come to rest on your fishnet-covered knees and shamelessly slut-drop a few metres before Optimus, who watches with bated breath. And in the sexiest way you could think of, place your hands down the floor in front of you and slide your body towards the floor, arching your back as you do so. It's a raunchy move, but the look on his faceplates is priceless as his optics flicker to your ass in the air.

You then move your knees forward and crawl towards his pedes, akin to a predator stalking its prey. He hitches his breath as you straddle the floor between his legs and slowly drag your hands up his pedes to his knees, and to his utter shock, you pry them open. Moving from his knees, your trail your hands up his silvery thighs, past his hips' blue plating and to his abdomen's plating, fingers lightly dipping into the crevices between them.

You can feel him shutter against your touch as you tease him, arching his back into your hands. In a smug move, you withdraw your hands from him and trail them back down to his knees, using them as leverage to push you upright. Arching your chest forward, you come within inches of his own until he has a frontal view of your barely covered cleavage. It's revitalising your confidence as you watch Optimus ogle. His frame shivering and servos twitching with a restrained desire, to which you would need to praise him for respecting the etiquette of lap dances.

"You look like you're enjoying yourself," You lean to whisper into his audio receptor before you lift your legs over one of his thighs, then the other, now straddling his waist, "Remember what I said before… no touching."

Optimus gives you a restrained whimper as you grind against his lap to the music, whipping your hair around with a hand on his shoulder for balance. The other hand moved meticulously across his chassis. This dance was supposed to be for Optimus, but you're enjoying this far more than anticipated. His broad shoulders were undeniably attractive, and his neck cabling, Primus, you could lean forward and tease the trembling mech with your tongue, but you knock back that thought. Instead, you lift yourself from his lap and flip yourself around, near bare ass making direct contact with his painfully bowed-out interface plating, and you can feel his engine rev at the move, and he makes a low groan from behind you.

"Primus," He growls as he watches you grind your ass on him. It's taking the strength of a thousand tugboats to keep him from shoving you onto the floor and ploughing into you like the out-of-control cargo ship he is. Whether those tugboats are strong enough is a matter of what your next move is.

And when you stand up to bend over, fingertips brushing the floor, he is greeted with a direct view of your backside, slick arousal and all. And within three seconds, his servos are on your ass, and he pushes you to the ground with the force of a cargo ship slamming into the shoreline. It knocks the wind out of you, forcing you to take sharp breaths.

Optimus flips your body around and settles himself atop you. The bump-and-grind music is drowned out by his harsh invents, and you can feel the roar of his engine in your bones as he lowers his helm to the nape of your flushed neck.

"I apologise for my abruptness, but I can no longer contain myself." He growls against the pulse of your neck, hammering against your skin at a speed you never thought was possible. Optimus losing his restraint and going against the rule book of lap dances was not expected, but a warm and hot welcome nonetheless.

The chair is long forgotten, tipped over when Optimus pounced on you like a big cat. And you don't care about the dance anymore. Your mind solely focuses on how his hands rip your bottoms and fishnets away. Note to self, add new pair of fishnets to the shopping list.

"I'm obliged to ask," He brings a hand to cup your chin, the gentle action contrasting his fiery optics boring holes into your own, "Do I have your consent?"

You bite your lip, an attempt to ignore the feeling of his knee bumping against your heat, which is currently wetter than the Everglades. You'd be crazy not to consent.

"Yes." You finally breathe out. That seems to satisfy Optimus as he begins to assault your neck with kisses, and you hold back a moan. So gentle yet firm as he trails them across your jawline and finishes with a drawn-out kiss to your lips.

He pushes his glossa into your mouth as he dips a servo in-between your thighs, prying them open gently. Optimus only had to press the tip of his digit for you to let out a breathy whimper against his intake, thighs already shaking, and Primus, you're wondering what his dick could possibly feel like inside you if he's already dragging you to heaven with just his hands. And you're eager to find out.

You break the kiss and struggle to keep your composure as he moves his digit gently within you, "Optimus- ah- no offence, but I think I'm - oooh - already wet enough."

He flickers his optics to your face, then back down to the hand working between your thighs. It's already soaked with your arousal, running down the palm of his hand and wrist.

"I see," Optimus says, prying his hand away from your slick. And with the same hand, he disengages his modesty panel with a grunt, letting his spike lay heavy in his hand, "However, I need to take necessary precautions of my own to ensure this encounter goes smoothly."

Now it's your turn to ogle at his junk as he uses the remainder of your fluids on his hand to pump the length a few times, and it's the hottest thing you've seen to date, despite you being a stripper. You've seen some shit, and Optimus' dick tops all of them. And he's about to top you with it.

Finished with lubing himself, he leans his helm down to the side of your head and presses the tip of his length against the folds of your pussy. Optimus uses his other hand to curl behind your head gently.

"Please, if you cannot handle me at any point, tell me."

And with a shaky vent against your ear, he pushes himself inside you. Even if you could scream, the bassy background music would down it out. But you're rendered speechless as your jaw slips once he reaches the innermost part of you. You're shaking and squirming underneath Optimus, and he gently squeezes your head as he cocoons himself around you, whispering sweet nothings and reassurances. You're already on the cusp of an orgasm, and he hasn't even moved.

Once Optimus has also regained somewhat composure, he draws his hips back and rolls them back into you. And your vision dots with stars, supernovas even, which would be a more fitting term as he grinds his hips against your own at an even swiftness. Your voice doesn't hold back this time as you let out a filthy cry against Optimus' audial fin.

"Optimus! Ahah!" You wrap your quivering arms around his helm as he pounds you into the floor. It's unrelenting, overwhelming all your senses. You're stretching beyond human limits. The music no longer exists according to you; the only melody your mushy brain desires to hear is his growls and groans against your ear as he ruts into you.

"I'm - ahh - closer to finishing than I thought," Optimus grunts, then nips the shell of your ear with his dentae, "You're… quite tight."

Despite being mass-displaced, you were about to respond with a sarcastic comment about the obvious size difference between you and him. Yet, all that comes out of your drooling mouth is a high-pitched squeal as Optimus delivers a harsh thrust to your G-Spot. To which he continues to abuse and grind his tip against.

"P-Please…" Another short thrust, and he's purring into the side of your neck, "Overload with - hgghn - me."

That's it. You're at the finish line, and you throw your head back and buck your hips up as your orgasm wreaks havoc over your sweaty frame. You're digging your fingertips into the crevasses of his shoulder plating as you let out a fluttery cry. Optimus, currently experiencing a religious experience from the sheer force of your velvet walls squeezing his spike, lets out a gravelly moan into your neck. His hips wildly buck as he experiences his overload, spilling himself inside you. It's everywhere, dripping down your thighs, transferring onto his thighs and the cold floor beneath you both.

A few glorious moments pass, a mold of flesh and metal entangled on the floor. With all the multicoloured lights cascading off your bodies, you could create an oil painting and make Da Vinci cry with how beautiful this moment is. Optimus slowly pulls out, craning his helm down to watch his transfluids spill from you. Then, like the gentle giant, he scoops his hands under your body and rolls onto his back with you lying on his chassis. You let your head come to rest against where his spark chamber is, hearing tiny little zaps and whirls as his spark slows down its beats. He places a servo on your lower back, and you crane your head just in time to see a mushy smile on his face. And you can't help but let one encompass your own.

"What are you smiling at?"

You give him a soft chuckle, "You. And also because I didn't even get to finish my dance for you."

"I suppose there will have to be a next time then, hm?" Optimus nonchalantly says before he pulls you to his face to kiss you deeply.

Wheeljack

"Thanks for the lift, Jackie." As you pick up your duffle bag from the passenger seat, you mutter and crack the door open, "I owe you one."

"Hey, anything for my favourite squishy," Wheejack replies, albeit slightly hesitant at the current location he was dropping you off, "Say, why'd ya want me to take ya here this time of night? It's kinda… unexpected."

"I uh…" You stammer, closing the door and hoisting the duffle over your shoulder, trying to think of some excuse for asking him to drop you off at a nightclub and not telling him that you were a stripper, "I work here. Yeah, I'm on the late shift."

"Oh, like a bartender? I never knew you were the one to pour out the drinks." He revs his engine, "Just com the base when you're ready, kid. I'll come an' pick ya up."

You nod and give his roof a few pats before you sundered off to the back entrance to the nightclub, hoping and praying that the rich guys were here tonight so you could get paid the big bucks. You're so caught up in your money-hazed vision that you overlook your Cybertronian Uber parking next to the building.

Gonna see what you're really up to, Wheeljack thinks, scouting the area for other humans before returning to his alt mode and settling down under a window.

-

It's times like this when you're grateful for your job. Yeah, the flow of money is hit-and-miss at times, but a night like tonight is what every stripper dreams of. Bands and bands of fresh cash stuffed half-hazard into your duffle. You could treat yourself, go all out and buy a new pair of lingerie. You could wander into the liquor store across the road and purchase a nice top-shelf bottle of vodka. But alas, most of this dough will be funding your university fees. A sad reality, but you'll do whatever it takes to graduate.

Stuffing the rest of the money into the duffle, you hear a familiar rev of a sports car and make your way to the front entrance. Most patrons had left, leaving you relatively safe to walk out alone. Not that you had to worry in the first place, not when you've always got Wheeljack looking out for you. You've grown on him, and he's grown on you. There's no denying that you've got some feelings for the wrecker, but you'll keep that to yourself for now. He opens the door for you, and you slide in. A soft sigh of relief escapes you, and you slump into the eerily warm seat. After you're safely bucked in, he pulls away from the kerb. The silence that drowns the cabin is… awkward.

"Hey," Wheeljack begins after a while, a slight edge to his voice. He then clears his vocaliser, "How was your, uh… shift."

"It was pretty alright," You fold your arms across your tank top, "Just the usual."

"The usual, eh?" You can hear a little cockiness show through like he's trying so hard not to smile, "Does your line of work usually result in a dollar bill getting stuck in your… What's that thing you females wear again? Uh, bra?"

You freeze, eyes burning holes into his dash before you glance down at your chest. It appears you missed one; the corner of a dollar bill is peeking out from the bra you wore on stage. There's no way Wheeljack would've noticed if he wasn't staring at your tits, which there's no denying because his rearview mirror is pointed downwards, reflecting your cleavage.

"I know you humans get up t'some strange things, but ya could've at least told me you were a stripteaser."

You bury your head in your hands, a pathetic attempt to squeeze yourself into a ball and hide your rosy face, but you can't because he's everywhere. There's no escaping, so you let out a muffled whine.

"Ok, you got me," You huff, any shred of dignity thrown out the window, "But if you tell anyone, and I mean anyone, that I'm a stripper, I'm coming for your aft."

"Oh, I don't intend to, sweetheart," He growls, and you can feel it in your bones, "Not if I can have ya all to myself."

"Wait wha-" There's no finishing your sentence as Wheeljack veers into an abandoned gas station, almost taking the wind out of you. He rolls to a stop and opens his door to let you out, or for a better term, stumble out, "What the hell?"

You watch Wheeljack transform into his bot mode, mass displacing himself so that he towers just a head above you, and you can see every little detail, every wrinkle and scratch. Oh my god, you need to stop staring.

"I quite liked your little routine, kid," He begins, poking a digit at one of the straps of your tank top, "But I'd like ta experience it first hand if ya catch my drift, right here, right now."

Your jaw drops, "You want me to… give you a dance?"

"I didn't stutter, did I?" And before you knew it, Wheeljack sits propped up against the gas station wall, a digit beckoning you over, "C'mere an' give me a show."

Well, there's no time like the present, you think to yourself. You cross your arms over your stomach and swiftly pull off your tank top before moving to your tracksuit pants, throwing both articles of clothing behind you. Your outfit was not modest in any regard, and you can feel Wheeljack's optics clawing at your exposed skin already. As you shakily rummaged through your duffle for your pleaser heels, Wheeljack switched on his radio, and you could hear the first beats of 'You Shook Me All Night Long' by AC/DC. You roll your eyes as you slip on your heels.

"What? Ya don't like this song?" Wheeljack chuckles, "I think it fits perfectly."

"It's the meaning behind it," You stand, the satisfying click-clack of your heels echoes off the walls, "I'd say you're looking for more than just a lap dance if I'm right in my suspicions."

"Cheeky, I like it," Wheeljack says with a shit-eating grin, "Go on then, show me what ya got."

And so, you do. You stand a few metres before the wrecker and swivel your hips to the drum beat, flicking your hair in the same motion as your hips, running your fingers through your hair as you do. As the first lyrics start, you take a few drawn-out steps closer to Wheeljack, running your hands over your breasts and down your bare stomach finishing off with a twirl. He's facing your back now as he watches you squat to the ground, hands dragging down your thighs, swivelling your hips as you do. While crouched down, you turn on the balls of your feet and give him a wink before arching your back and returning to a standing position. You high-kick and finish with another twirl, standing directly between his spread pedes. You repeat the crouch move, but you're facing him this time. In time with the main chorus, you slide to your knees to straddle the ground, bouncing your hips a few times, dragging your hands through your hair, and flipping it in a circle. You then slide your hands down your thighs and to the ground before you, slowly crawling closer to his thighs. Wheeljacks' optics had not left your frame during all this time, a small smile tugging on his dermas.

"That was impressive, kid," He nods before reaching for your hands and tugging them closer to his interfacing panel, "But I'm not blown away jus' yet. Do ya think you can help me with this?"

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you nod, hands ghosting across the bulging panel. Wheeljack seems rather impatient, so he slips away the cover for you, and the sight that meets your eyes makes you drool.

You knew Wheeljack was riled up from your performance, but this was the icing on the robot dick cake. He's thick, blue biolights run down the underside of the silver member and already dripping with precum. Half-naked, you're both out in the open at an abandoned gas station, and your dignity has already been thrown out the window. You were willing to indulge in him just for a short while.

Running your palm up the underside of his spike, you feel Wheeljack shiver. The textures and patterns are so foreign, like nothing you've experienced. Tentatively, you wrap your hands around the base of his spike and give him a few experimental pumps, drawing a few low moans from the mech above you. Feeling more confident, you squeeze him tighter and pump him faster.

"Scrap," He mutters, placing a hand on your shoulder, "You're good at that."

Smiling, you lean down and cautiously lick the tip of his spike, drawing even more delicious moans from the wrecker. And when you wrap your lips around it, he has to restrain himself from pushing you down further onto him. Living up to your 'cheekiness', you flicker your eyes to his face and stare at him right in his optics as you give him a harsh suck.

"Ah - frag - Y/n, stop!" Wheeljack half whines and laughs as he pulls you off him upon feeling a premature overload, "Sheesh, ya nearly got me there."

Placing a departing kiss on his tip, you crawl onto his lap, six-inch pleaser heels digging into his metal thighs. The music is louder from here, and you can feel it vibrating your bones, "I guess you're not satisfied just yet."

His vents hitch as you move your underwear to the side and press your very wet pussy lips against the tip of his spike, "Maybe not, sweetheart. Ya gonna change that?"

You slowly sink onto his spike, maintaining eye contact. You watch his face turn from a smug look into one you could frame on a wall. His face scrunches in pure pleasure as you stuff as much of him as physically possible in you. He may be mass-displaced, but his sheer thickness makes it a tight squeeze. You feel your own breath hitch as you take him to the hilt. He fills you up amazingly.

"Yes."

You roll your hips forward once, and you're already seeing white. The combination of Wheeljacks' spike dragging against your velvet walls and the vibrations from the electric guitar still playing on the radio strums your nervous system like an instrument. You're craving more, and he is, too, because his hands are on your hips now, and he's guiding you. He's the maestro, and you're the entire orchestra.

"F-Fuck." You whimper out, bracing yourself against his chassis as you start to bounce on his spike. Your thighs are starting to ache from the lactic acid built up from all the dancing you've done tonight, and thankfully, Wheeljack notices your struggle.

"Don't worry, cutie. I'll take it from here." He huskily breathes out before his grip on your hips tightens, and he bucks up into you. As he does, you fall forward flat on his chassis, cheek squishing against him as he proceeds to fuck you like his spark depends on it.

"Oh fuck!" You cry out, bringing a hand to cover your mouth in a pathetic attempt to muffle your moans. But nothing can silence the lewd sound of metal slapping against skin, not even the rock music, which has now clicked over to 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', and you'll never think of this song again without getting absolutely turned on.

"Take your - hggff - hand off. I wanna hear ya," Wheeljack growls as he grips the hand covering your mouth and forcefully removes it, "Y'know, maybe I can taste ya instead."

Within what seems like a nano-second, he wraps his arms around your midsection and smashes his dermas into yours. He presses his glossa against your tongue in a fight for dominance, and you're forced to surrender as he slams his spike so deep in your pussy you see galaxies, crying out into his intake.

"Oh, frag-"He murmurs into your mouth, keeping a death grip on your midsection, "Keep squeezing me like that kid, and I'm gonna-"

He's gone. Thrown into the deep end of his overload, he presses himself as deeply as physically possible and releases his transfluids inside you. You choke on his glossa at the delicious sensation of being stuffed full, and it triggers your own orgasm. You break the kiss and bury your head in the crook of his neck as your body shakes, crying out in utter euphoria as he bucks his hips to help ride out the shared orgasm. You can hear Wheeljacks' spark spasming in rhythm with his throbbing spike gushing in your tight walls.

"Frag…" He shakily ex-vents, holding you against his chassis, "You've certainly impressed me now, kid."

You're too exhausted to give him a cohesive reply, opting for a string of whines. You're also too focused on the sheer amount of fluids you can feel dripping between your thighs. He gives you a chuckle and presses a loving kiss to your temple, utterly amused at your dopey post-orgasmic bliss.

"You're so fraggin' adorable."

Knockout

There was nothing more refreshing to Knockout than clocking up speeds that could blow up a regular v8 engine along the winding rural roads of Jasper. It's freeing. It's elating. All heightened by the fact that he knows he shouldn't be out here in the first place. But there's nothing a little manipulation and the tugging of a few strings can't do to convince Megatron that he had good reason to be zipping around.

In the distance, he notices a peculiar establishment with bright neon lights surrounding the exterior. Strange, he's never seen such a place before. Knockout slows down, rolls into the parking lot, and is greeted with the muted sounds of music coming from inside. All the humans seem to be in there, so he transforms into his bot mode and crouches down to a window to take a peek. He notices some usual human behaviour, some drunk people, some cheering and throwing bits of paper at what seems to be a stage with a metal pole in the centre.

But it's not just the metal pole they're throwing currency at. No, they're tossing it towards a very under-dressed human hugging the pole, swinging around like an erotic firefighter he's seen in a movie once. Although, he's never seen a firefighter do that with their near bare ass. Conflicting feelings start to arise in Knockout, knowing that he shouldn't be out here and definitely should not be this fascinated by a human. But a part of him needs to meddle with this… alluring human.

-

"Wait, you want me to do what?"

It had been a regular night for you. You went to work, danced in front of an eager crowd, collected your cash and went home, is what you would say if a two-story alien robot hadn't grabbed you with a pair of extra sharp talons and transported you to god knows where. All you know so far is that through your screeching and thrashing around, you noticed that you were on a ship of some kind in a small room that was freezing cold. You had zero time to change out of your stripper wear and into something warmer before you were zipped away. And this red metal bastard sitting in front of you dares to ask you to perform for him, even though you find him mildly attractive in an unorthodox way.

"I know you heard me, squishy," The giant says with a toothy sneer, "Usually, I find your species rather obnoxious. Pityfull even, especially those other humans fawning over you like a scraplet in heat."

You have no idea what a scrapet is, but you ignore the strange synonym and probe him further, "If you hate us so much, why kidnap one? Wouldn't you prefer not to have a human here in your… quarters, I'm assuming?"

"That doesn't concern you." You swear you could see his face tint a slight blue, "Besides, wouldn't you prefer a little more excitement in your minuscule lifespan?"

Ok, he's got you there. Not every day you get to be kidnapped by an alien robot, let alone a hot one that wants you to give him a lap dance. You weigh your options, give him a dance, or he may step on you. Preferring not to be butchered today, you sigh in defeat.

"Alright, I'll give you what you want," You cross your arms and tap your heel on the floor, "But after, are you gonna let me go or…"

He holds his talons to his face as if checking his non-existent manicure before giving you the most sultry stare with his glowing red eyes, "That, my dear fleshy, entirely depends on whether you deliver or not."

You choose to ignore the heat that instantly pooled into your lower stomach and whip out your phone. No cell signal… even if you wanted to call for help, there's no way to do so. Glancing up at the mech still seated before you, you shakily scroll through your playlist and press play. 'I'm A Slave 4 U' pretty much sums up your current circumstance. How ironic.

You do what you know best, scrapping together any little confidence from the bottom of the barrel and just going for it because your life is potentially on the line. Your sway your hips, exaggerating your movements as much as possible. Hands exploring your own body and running them through your hair. You feel sexy as fuck, and you most likely look like it, too, because the look this robot is giving you is enough to sear holes into the surface of the sun. His eyes drag over every exposed inch of your body, and his lips are pressed in a line with a slight tug at one of the corners.

You finish with a dramatic split to the floor, then slide to your hands and knees and crawl towards the red mech. For some reason, he appears smaller than when you had started, but you decide not to dwell on it and regard it as a strange quirk of an alien.

"My, that was very entertaining," He grins, bringing a pointy digit to drag under your chin, the sensation making your eyes water, "But I seem to have a little… problem if you are willing to indulge me."

You quirk your head, "Uh… what kind of problem?"

With a smirk, he brings his other hand to the plating between his spread legs and fiddles underneath them. With a clang, the plating falls away. It reveals a very erect phallic object resembling a dick if it were created from metal.

Oh, that kind of problem.

He leans back against the wall and rests his forearm on a bent knee, looking like a poser straight out of a porn mag. You swallow heavily as it's your turn to rake your eyes over his frame, wide eyes landing on the throbbing silver mass resting on his hip. This is wrong on so many levels, but you don't seem to resist as you extend your hand to brush your fingertips on the underside of his cock. His breath hitches as you do so.

"Eager already. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. You humans are all the same," He pinches your cheeks with the hand still touching your face, "Go on, I don't have all night."

Bastard. It seems to you that he's the eager one because he draws your face closer to his cock that it now pokes into your cheek. It's oddly warm with a slight metallic smell, and now all you're thinking about is how it tastes. This is wrong. You grip his cock in your hand and slip the tip into your mouth, circling the tip a few times to collect the tiny drops of precum on your tongue. So very wrong.

He shivers, his grip moving from your cheeks to the top of your head. His fingers are sharp against your scalp, but you don't care. You're going to give this alien what he wanted and more. You want to blow his circuits for kidnapping you. With this in mind, you push his dick past your throat and take him to the hilt, causing him to buck into your mouth. Your eyes are watering again, threatening to spill out onto your cheeks.

"Scrap!" He whines before gripping your hair and ripping you off his dick. Harsh ex-vents blow onto your body, "You almost caused an overload!"

You're assuming that's the robot equivalent of an orgasm. You smirk, "That was the plan."

He huffs, "Well if that's how you want to play, I'll have to make you overload first."

He pounces, and you fall on your back with an oof, sharp talons clawing at your pants, ripping them clean off. He moves one hand and pins your arms above your head, and the other drags across your thighs to your embarrassingly wet folds. You pray to god he doesn't poke you.

"Pfft, by the amount of fluids accumulating down there, it seems like you are enjoying this." He scoffs, rolling his thumb around your clit, sending jolts of electric shocks up your spine, "I'm right, aren't I?"

Your head lulls to the side, allowing the mech to give you direct access to your neck. He hums, leaning down to give you pecks and love bites. How strangely gentle of him, "Just - guh - hurry up."

You can feel him smile against your collarbone, "Alright, if you say so~"

He removes his thumb and replaces it with something much more significant in size. It's pressing right against your entrance, and oh my god, it's pushing inside you. You throw your head back and clench your hands in his grip as he pushes the rest of his length inside you. It's throbbing against your walls as he seems to display some restraint to not fuck you into the floor at the first instance.

"My, you feel… very tight, dearie." His hips are flush against your own now, and all you can do is squirm as you feel him pressing against your cervix, which you're sure is about to be ruined.

He draws his hips back and re-enters you, and your vision goes white. It's slow pace at first, an agonisingly slow pace. Most likely to prevent his own orgasm and to draw you as close to the edge as possible. The bumps and ridges along his cock drag across your walls mind-numbingly, and you're not sure how long you will last.

The pace picks up until he slams you into the floor with every rut of his hips, abusing your G-Spot un relentlessly. The hand that wasn't trapping your arms is now gripping the plush flesh of your hip, aiding him in his thrusts. His little mewls and praises were unexpected but delightful against your ear, and they only drew you closer to finishing.

"I - haAHH - never got your - hggnh - name." You stutter out as he send a particularly harsh thrust, arching your back into his chassis.

"Knockout, dearie." He grunts, claws digging into your hips deep enough to draw blood, "And I - hffgh - expect you to scream it."

That was it. Knockout only had to slam into your aching pussy a few more times before your orgasm knocks you off the cliff. You cry out his name, as ordered, as your walls strangle his cock. He yelps against your neck as he unleashes a disturbing amount of cum inside you, rutting into you in jagged thrusts as he rides out his own. You can feel it dripping down your inner thighs as your soft body fails to accommodate even a fraction of the amount. Legs quivering, he slowly draws his cock out, admiring your hole as the rest gushes out.

"Well, wasn't that exciting?" Knockout gives you a toothy smirk, lazily grinding his cock across your folds, "I think I'll keep you around, sweetheart."

No average person would be happy with that. Still, after tonight, you're very welcome to the idea of being a personal strip teaser for a devilishly hot alien robot.

[graychrissy]

🌊Digital Detox + Egyptians lucid dreaming method 🌊

Idk what to put on the title of this post so I wrote digital detox and I have copy pasted the main lines.

In the ancient Egypt the Egyptians use to have lucid dreaming alot and it was extremely easy for for them not just Egyptians but it was also mention ancient Indian scriptures.

You’re probably wondering ‘what’s the secret’? The real problem is often NOT your technique. It’s actually another issue that no amount of techniques, articles, reality checks, supplements or uncomfortable masks is going to fix. It’s your ‘inner game’. Specifically, your subconscious motivation and reward circuits, and ‘dopamine cycle’. Travel in your mind for a second, to ancient Egypt.

There were no smart phones, internet connections, computer animated action movies or virtual reality headsets.

Your brain back then would have produced a healthy amount of dopamine as a reward for pretty basic things like eating, working, exploring, and taking some time to relax or meditate

Now our average attention spans are literally less than 7 SECONDS. It’s probably a lot lower than that, and It’s declining every single year with the rise of new, highly addictive and stimulating social media apps and platforms. When was the last time you meditated for over 90 minutes? Have you ever? I’m not saying you have to do that to lucid dream, but this sort of practice was very common 5000 years ago. In fact, it was weird NOT to do that. And herein lies the main problem.

Your brain is ‘fried’ with an overly stimulated dopamine pathway. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that stimulates the feeling of WANTING to keep doing something. It’s the reason you keep scrolling through Instagram, or keep refreshing your Facebook feed to see if there are any new comments or notifications. But it’s also the SUBCONSCIOUS reason you aren’t able to lucid dream easily. In the last decade especially, there have been billions of dollars spent by big tech to essentially ‘addict you’ to their platforms. Why? Money. The more time and energy you spend on platforms like that, the more money they make. So the task has been given to artificial intelligence. The AIs often just get trained and told a few basic things: 1: Get people to spend more time on the platform 2: Get people to keep coming BACK to the platform as often as possible The ‘AI’ pays almost NO attention to what that would do to your mental health, attention span, motivation, emotions, or really anything else. Much LESS attention is paid to the effect it has on your ability to focus, or do things like, say, lucid dream. Now, the ‘dopamine cycle’ is one part of the problem, but it’s actually pretty easy to fix. There are several little pieces to what I call the ‘modern brain puzzle’. Things that just weren’t a problem 5000 years ago. You can see some of this playing out in children today. On average, children or people under the age of 15, find it MUCH easier to lucid dream than adults do. It’s because at that age, their dopamine system has not been damaged too much. This is of course changing now, as more and more children are having access to smartphones, but it’s an interesting point. In fact not only does the dopamine problem affect your ability to lucid dream, it also affects your ability to WANT to lucid dream (consciously and subconsciously). Specifically I’m talking about your motivation and focus. And you guessed it, there’s your number one cause of problems when trying to meditate, practice techniques like the WILD, or recall your dreams.

After reading this paragraph or stanza whatever,I noticed something,as a kid I had lucid dreams alot with just putting intentions.

My first lucid dream was at around 7-8 years old,and I was sinking when I realised I was dream and I tried controlling my dream and even succeeded,and I was probably there for about 10 minutes playing with underwater creatures and mermaids.

And till 7 grade I use to have alot of lucid dreams but after that I was allowed to use phone and so I was always invested in phone like all the time. By the way lucid dream was pretty normal for me and I pretty much forgot about it and never really paid attention to lucid dreaming. And then I rarely had any lucid dreams, probably 4 times ever since 8 grade and I've noticed every time I lucid dream it's always whenever I don't use any social media.

In 9 grade my phone was taken again because my mother noticed my social media addiction. And after few months I again start to lucid dream for fun easily and effortlessly but during COVID I was again allowed to have my phone and then a new laptop so now my life was revolving around social media again and for the past few year I only lucid dream whenever I don't get to use my phone more then 2 days.

Idk bout y'all but I wasn't allowed to use phones or laptop till 8th grade so the only thing I knew was TV which I only watched after coming home so like my mind was most of the te bored because I didn't had anything to keep it entertain which made it easy for me to observe around looking for things to do.

So how can you reverse the ‘dopamine problem’ and several of the other issues modern life has created? By the way: This is NOT about destroying your phone and going back to live in a cave. There are actually several powerful habits you can install, that will let you KEEP using your phone, laptop etc, but without these harmful effects. Here’s the simple solution to more lucid dreams: 1. Reverse engineer your life and remove distractions, manipulation, ‘dopamine hijacking’ and harmful blue light exposure from your daily routine (along with some other ‘problem patterns’) 2. Get inside your subconscious brain and rewire yourself to WANT to practice lucid dreaming, and to effortlessly do reality checks at the right time, without even trying 3. Learn powerful ‘all day awareness’ and ‘lucid living’ techniques that give your brain superpowers in the fight 4. On top of THAT foundation, learn the most effective techniques and concepts, use our tools to stay motivated, and experience lucid mastery within 14 days. Let’s dive a little bit deeper: First, you have to ‘reverse engineer’ the problem. This can be complicated if you don’t know what you’re doing, but we’ve laid everything out step by step for you. If dopamine addiction is part of the problem, we have to break that addiction first. Then comes your mindset, and your motivation pathways. You need to actually feel GOOD when you practice these things. I see so many people saying they’re struggling to remember to do reality checks, or they just don’t want to wake up at ‘weird times’ to practice. Don’t worry, you won’t have to. It will feel good, and you’ll ENJOY practicing these things. Next, your subconscious mind. It’s SO important to fix your internal beliefs about lucid dreaming, because the chances are you have ‘internal blocks’ about becoming lucid. They’re easy to pick up, but a bit harder to ‘unlearn’. The system shows you how to ‘unlearn’ them, and install new, powerful and self affirming beliefs into your mind. This gives your brain lots more motivation to keep trying. Now, one of the most common things I hear people say is that they can’t REMEMBER to keep doing reality checks. It’s linked to the dopamine problem we mentioned earlier, but it’s also connected to a few other psychological principles that we’ll get onto. We’ll give you a new framework to ENJOY reality checks, remember them without any annoying reminders, and actually get them to SHOW UP in your dreams, 9 out of 10 times. And then finally, we’ll build the most effective techniques, methods and concepts on top of that new, strong foundation. Of course, I’m simplifying this here, but that’s the outline.

Here are some videos that may help.

If you want to know more about it or get the steps to lucid dream you can buy the book or go through a long step to get it for free but the procedure is very long and probably only for Iphone user.

You find some good articles ways to do the 'reverse dopamine' thingy.(I donot trust my research on this topic cuz I got confuse)

You may use Adambja's tape to reprogram your subconscious and this hacking the matrix tape the comments under the video was so good and I found this tape on someone's success story. You can use this two tapes to reprogram your subconscious and of course psych-k.

This is pretty much all you need digital detox,observing your surroundings and subconscious reprogramming to change your belief or assumptions.

And this will make you even more motivated that you are working on your goals as many of us have the access of devices it's hard for us to keep up with all this method and it's not like we are always busy if we are we wouldn't be scrolling through Tumblr and Pinterest all the time. If you read the the copy pasted part you'll see what I mean.

Edit: I forgot to mention it 🥲 if we follow do this we CAN HAVE lucid dream everyday.

Egyptians lucid dreaming tea

This will be quick,so I went to my aunt's place with my mother and my aunt's ran out of tea powder/leaves so she used her daughter's blue lotus tea and after getting home I took a nap and I HAD A FOKING LUCID DREAM,so basically I didn't knew that it was the tea until I was doing some research on LD and found out that in ancient Egypt they use Blue Lotus tea and I found some review about it on YouTube and people had very vivid dreams aswell. This tea basically put you in REM which y'all probably know about.

But I don't like tea😐,so if anyone have interest you can try I honestly want to but my hate for tea is on top on the list of top 5 things I hate,you can find them online people even use Blue Lotus in vape😐not encourageling y'all to smoke but if anyone does you can.