#my brain hurts jfc
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BRO WHAT THE FUCK (x)
NAAAAAHHH FUCK MAN DONT HURT ME LIKE THIS
#WE WERE HAVING FUN FOR 7 GODDAMN CHAPTERS#CHAPTER 8 COMES IN WITH A MEAN LEFT HOOK TO MY GUTS BRO WHAT THE FUCK#naaaaah bro im hurt fr like#I NEED A FUCKING MOMENT IM IN PAIN#jfc#fic reading#dc prattles#i hope the author sleeps well knowing their angst successfully murdered me#āyou'll get hurtā āit already hurtsā#BRUH#THAT SHIT EMBEDDED IN MY BRAIN ENGRAVED IN MY SOUL AND CARVED INTO MY BROKEN HEART#FUCK
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It's like. Why do anything.
#I'm being such a BITCH this week#but I'm feeling hopeless about mum and dad and hopeless about my health and doing the things i like/enjoy hurts and it's just like.#well fuck all that i guess.#i just can't seem to reset my brain out of panic and depression mode#especially when my fun activities are compromised bc if i bring my shoulders forward even slightly they just Hurt#and painkillers aren't really doing anything#jfc take away my ability to write indulgent fanfic and I'm hanging on by a fucking thread#mr. bees speaks
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Wait so is this like. The manga version also? Or is this like a full metal alchemist oh shit we ran out of things to animate letās make up our own story now???? Very confused
i have. no fucking clue to be honest but if i were to guess the manga will be similar?? bc im assuming asagiri and harukawa had the chapters done for months now, early enough to give them to the anime team to animate and 111 is just one of them
i really didnt like this episode i think the pacing was bad and rushed so im hoping theres some more info in the manga?? but also. it would suck so bad if we were now behind the fucking anime and unless we get like 3 fucking chapters next month thats whats going to happen
and with the 2 hours later thing, i dont think its an anime thing bc of how it resembles the fit fukuchi is wearing in that last doa official art, but 2 hours????? girl what on earth is going on. this arc has been so pong and exhausting and the writing has been decreasing in quality and were all tired so the idea of sth huge happening soon is just really not that exciting to me. i want to see the political repercussions and the page not another fight, at least not now
but yeah tldr i dont think this is an anime only resolution, at least not entirely. a lot of the things make sense ig (like bram regarding his body and dropping the vampires, i feel like thats the only thing that could have happened) but maybe the pacing will be better and maybe therell be some useful info
#sorry idk if any of this makes sense im really tired#im really not happy with this episode the chuuya reveal was so fucking dissapointing#and the fukuchi plot got so convoluted i cant even say if it was a good ending bc idk#i hopes fukuzawa would die and idk maybe he will?? doesnt seem like it tho#i just wish we had some fucking stakes in the story again bc there are none as of now#even with the new threat like oooh whats going to happen#there will be cliffhangers every chapter no resolution and more dropped plot points?#like for the amount of violence nobody is ever seriously hurt#bc of the yosano ex machina which i dont dislike#but god asagiri let a non antagonist die or suffer consequences im begging you#and i dont even understand what happened with one order like is fukuzawa responsible for it now#does he have the power to control everyone#and wheres yosano jfc#ask#sorry again my brain feels like scrambled eggs
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C-PTSD is a hell of a ride, Ill tell you what.
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Let me write. LET ME WRIIIITE.
#My Kingdom ;; OOC#brain empty day 2: electric boogaloo#trying my best to get the ball rolling and i've been picking away at drafts on my blogs#but hough... just head empty.. only want to sleep....#i blame the weather making my joints hurt jfc#i felt so old writing that jkabsdkjhsa
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Every day is a little better and by that I mean I was able to work for a half hour in the morning before needing to go back to bed and today I was on my work laptop for an hour before I needed to go lie down. Progress
#my head started to hurt in addition to feeling exhausted so did i push myself too much? maybr#but its DUMB that this is pushing myself tbh#i woke up feeling okayish and was like oh maybe i can get some work done today#haha nah that just. isnt really gonna happen#and i stg if anyone asks me to be on a client meeting i will tell them no#yeah im the one who does 90% of content for clients but i am not getting on a zoom call#i have a very finite amount of energy right now and im going to use that as productively as possible#and that means not getting on meetings that will exhaust me further jfc#covid is kicking my butt but it could also be SO much worse#which is why the exhaustion feels so dumb#its like. im coughing and sneezing and also my body and brain wont let me do anything more than lie in bed and/or scroll social media#for any length of time
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BRO
#donāt fucking lecture me about food and water intake!!!!!#i know!!!!#I know Iām not getting enough!!!!!!#take it up with my fucking brain!!!!!#I have water next to me right now!!!!#I have water next to me like at all times!!!!#it doesnāt matter!!!#my brain just wonāt make me drink#itās something I have to do consciously and I am very bad at habitual things I need to do consciously!!!#jfc#he did say they were gonna do orthostatic blood pressure tests next time I see them in person#so like that cool???#I still donāt think I have POTs nor do I think that weird passing out thing last month was a heart/blood pressure thing#but like. doesnāt hurt to rule it out.#anyway
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Iām actually still really sad from earlier. I miss my friend a lot and I wish I could still talk to him. We used to at least check in every other day. Itās really upsetting that for FIVE YEARS I havenāt spoken to him.
Maybe someday heāll reach back out :(((
#actually hadnāt thought about this in quite a while#genuinely so upset about seeing that submission#like how after five years are you coming back into my brain space to remind#me of arguably the most hurtful thing you did to me? not even the treating me like fucking shit was that painful#I had known him longer than you were in my life. and now I donāt get to know him at all#whatever man.#he was fake tho right? so it doesnāt matter? because I was just pretending? and so it couldnāt have hurt my feelings?#imagine how many conversations I havenāt gotten to have with him?#truthfully she ONLY sent me that submission to upset me. and I know that. but jfc it did upset me.#anyway Cierra (REAL NAME) if youāre out there I hope a bird shits in your mouth
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Got a muh fucken TV mote on my phone.
#i dont really like Roku#but its the only TV OS that actively advertises a remote#i prefer Android OS but#eh#also#Roku remotes are so fucken small#i could like#smuggle it in my vagina (it would fucking hurt tho bc I have an inch wide cyst and it hurts when pressure is applied to my insides-#I ONLY know this because my second ultrasound hurt every time they went deep. first one didnt hurt... So I think its the cyst-)#kinda mad I'm not tipsy#i paid good money for that slushie#and it was alcoholy#im sleeby tho#so imma take a nap#and dream about hot boys#omg i have to work tomorrow and Devin will be there and I hope my brain can be normal bc jfc please god no#i should be good since my period was normal but idk#fingies crossed
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me š¤ my ex bf
getting into a new relationship way too soon following the end of ours with a blonde who has less than based political stances objectively isnt a great person and got very overly attached to us far too quickly and it was suffocating
#just me rambling again#i think the parallel here is funny and i have told him such (we're on good terms recently and finally rekindling our friendship since my#brain finally moved out of whatever stage of grief it was on previously)#im having many thoughts and feelings on it that i am pointedly ignoring but thats besides the point#im also having many thoughts and feelings about holy shit how do i break off a relationship without fucking someone over#(its impossible to do. i am aware. just let me keep ignoring it its fine im trying to get him to like me less so it doesn't hurt so bad)#jfc there is too much going on in my life generally to have so many social things stressing me out in such quick succession#ive been a bit stressed lately#however! Dan and Phil games is back and uploading videos so uhh. things are not all bad to be fair
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i s2g if this lower back pain is coming from my sciatic nerve...........
#i bent at the waist just to LOOK at something earlier and my lower back just fucking lost it on me#had to grab the counter to keep from going down like a rock#now it's just nonstop aches and twinges and it just feels like it's wrong but i didn't DO anything to my back so why tf would it hurt???#jfc i just want my fucking body and brain to cooperate with me for once#personal shit
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i got caught in a thoughtloop about a WORK THING AUUUUGH
not enough sleep by far
looking at paying between $30-40 just to GET to and from my job today love to pay to work :/
hungry, after staying up so late completing necessary tasks
sick to my stomach with stress
only thing to do is hope I fall asleep fast :/
#my stomach hurts#i'll take an antianxiety pill but jfc this is not sustainable#if the thing i got stuck thinking about actually happened i'm going to be so upset#thoughtloop is like#an anxious thought enters my brain some time before i'm supposed to wake up#and then i cannot sleep and am instead endlessly replaying that thought on a loop until i have to get up#but the whole time i'm like#trying to sleep#so it's just this horrible sleep-confusion version of problem solving that i'm not actually doing bc i'm not awake and not where the proble#*problem is#and i just get up stressed and upset#i can't even cry bc we have a house guest and i don't want to freak them out
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Obey Me characters and their dominance!
(Minors DNI)
I have been haunted by spicy headcanons all week and I canāt get them out of my brain so here! Maybe Iāll write some smut drabbles based on this idk!
Lucifer is a hard dom hands down. Heās the avatar of pride and constantly stressed he will use you like a fucktoy until heās satiated. And by god it takes a while for him to be satiated. Donāt expect to walk for a week hun
Mams. My boy. My greedy little scummy boy. Heās a switch. Heāll have you in any way youāll let him because he just wants you. Under him, in him, riding him, potato tomato
Levi is such a sub I mean come on. Call him a good boy and heāll fold like a wet tissue. He loves it when you take control and dirty talk him while you stroke him
I firmly believe that Satan is a masochist top. Youāre his sexual stress ball to relieve all gis pent up aggression (with your consent of course). Heāll goad you into biting and scratching him until heās covered in evidence of what you did
Asmo will take anything. Heās the avatar of lust. He will let you fuck him stupid then make you his submissive little slut the next minute. Like I said he will take anything you give him.
Beel is definitely a gentle top. He doesnāt do it for his own pleasure tbh; heās more interested in making you feel good.
Belphie is a pillow princess Iām sorry. But like a power bottom sadist pillow princess, does that make sense? He makes you do all the work but he tells you what to do, and if you donāt do it then your ass getting punished babes
Iām not so sure about Diavolo. I headcanon him as sex indifferent BUT if he did have sex heād probably be a soft top/service top
Barbatos. Is. A. Service. Switch. You are second only to the young master in his eyes. Whatever you want to do heāll do it unless it could hurt you
Simeonnnnnnn I am in love with this man jfc. Heās 100% a gentle top. He wants to feel good but he also wants you to feel good too. You could be doing the dirtiest nastiest thing and heād still kiss you like youāre on an innocent fair date
Solomon seems like heās a sadistic dom and. Yeah he is. This man will put you in a mating press and fuck you til you canāt think and honestly? Weāre here for it
And yeah thatās it! These are very fun (and Iām very horny) so I might do more
#obey me#obey me smut#omnsfw#omnsft#obey me nsft#lucifer obey me#mammon obey me#levi obey me#satan obey me#asmo obey me#beel obey me#belphie obey me#diavolo obey me#barbatos obey me#solomon obey me#simeon obey me
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Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 8
chapter 14:
1. ā"Obviously fish have brains. All living beings have brains," Regulus tells him. "Well, except for you."ā
ADKDJKSJSKS iām sure thatās another moment in which regulus wanted to look to sirius as if to say āare you seeing this shit?ā
2. šššš james why are you still figuring out you might have a knife kink?? i been knew since before the arena. plsssss
3. šš the rocks in jars story
4. š§ james killed someone for reg. no hesitation. thatās gonna haunt him forever
5. oh god, the tenderness reg uses with james after james murdered someone. heās so gentle and worried for him. this is gonna haunt them forever
6. in reference to james committing murder: āHe has the disjointed thought that his parents must have seen that, as well as Sirius. The last people in the world who would judge him for it, and he still wonders what they're thinking.ā
JESUS THAT IS HEARTBREAKING. the people he cares most about isnāt judging him cause theyāve done the same thing. it just hurts
7. god, and now theyāre face to face with death eaters. i canāt do this shit anymore
8. šš§ oh no.
āJames can safely say he doesn't have a knife kink. Blade kink. Sword kink. Any of thatāhe doesn't have it. No, it's just Regulus he likes, and anything to do with him. When Mulciber has a sword to his throat, it's not sexy at all.ā
9. regās threats are so scary
10. knowing regās loyalty to kill for sirius is fucking wild. he would murder everyone in that arena if it meant keeping sirius safe. and sirius did the same for reg.
11. š§ shocked. oh my god. jaw dropped. reg is just hacking at mulciber with a hatchet
12. āØevanāØāŗļøš©·
13. whoop there it is. in regās mind, he mistakingly referred to james as his boyfriend. itās downhill from here
14. oh god, james is using his āit was self defense and murder is grotesque and not always cleanā speech that he used to give to sirius all the time. i wonder how often heās had to tell that to himself in this arena
15. GOD NOT THE FUCKING BEAR TRAP- JFC CAN THEY HAVE ONE MOMENT IN THIS ARENA???
chapter 15:
1. reg called james baby āŗļøš„°š
2. ā"Sirius, you're going send something to fix him, or so help me, when I get out of here, I'm going to rip all of your hair out right from the scalp until you're fucking bald."ā LMAOOO REG IS SO PROTECTIVE OF HIS NOT BOYFREIND THATS GONNA HAVE TO DIE ANYWAYS. and he threatened to make sirius bald ššš
3. ā"I like you," James declares cheerfully, and Evan winks at him.ā EVAN AND JAMES FRIENDSHIP EVAN AND JAMES FRIENDSHIP EVAN AND JAMES FRIENDSHIP
4. āSometimes, healing is harder than being hurt.ā godDAMMIT heās right, and that cuts deep into my soul
5. reg and sirius are so like me fr in hating change. for them itās the needing stability after a childhood of not having it, and for me, itās autism.
6. reg is absolutely insane sounding and iām 2000% on board for it
7. reg is willing to kill because they scarred jamesā face but still says he hates every breath james takes. bitch. wtf do you mean you hate him? do you not get it yet?
8. š bitch, yet another self indulgent moment that reg calls a parting gift
9. evan and reg team!! šāā¬š«±š»āš«²š¾š
10. comparing james to the sun >>>>>>>>>>
11. reg being the best seeker during hide and seek š
12. EVANNNN NOOOO
13. š§ evan says heās regās friend. shit iām about to sob at one am as iām writing this. and reg jsut lost the best friend he never got to have
14. god, reading from siriusā pov now IS making me sob.
15. LMFAOOO I SHOULD NOT BE LAUGHING OVER THE BURNING TREE
16. shame on me for not realizing that the author of crimson rivers also wrote just lovers. i just realized that. like, while reading authors notes. i feel so fucking stupid rn
#james no longer has a knife kink#and they killed my favorite background character#i canāt do this anymore#marauders#regulus black#fanfic#james potter#jegulus#evan rosier#sunseeker#starchaser#sirius black#crimson rivers
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Youāve altered my brain chemistry with that snippet and thatās not even an exaggeration.
I canāt stop imagining Eddie and Tommy, who saw each other in passing in Basic but became friends when they were assigned to the same platoon. Laughing easily with each other as theyāre flown from Britain into France. Finding each other when theyāre dropped behind enemy lines and not managing to find their platoon for a day or two, constantly dodging enemy fire as they try and find their way back. Sleeping huddled together in barns, looking up at the stars through the burnt thatch roof.
Eddie and Tommy finally finding their platoon and finding their other friends but still being drawn to one another on quiet nights. Tommy pulling Eddie aside and telling him heās worried about Eddie being a medic on the frontline. Heās seen some of the injuries other medics come back with, clipping stray bullets as they pull men back to safety. Tommy doesnāt want Eddie to get hurt. For some reason, thatās when Eddie puts a hand to Tommyās cheek and tells him not to worry. Heās going to be fine.
Eddie and Tommy sharing a foxhole during the winter while theyāre surrounded by Germans. Huddling together in the unspoken way soldiers to because theyāll do anything to conserve body heat. Sharing illicit kisses under the cover of the coat they throw over their hole to keep out the snow. Whispering promises they know wonāt be kept, until Eddie has to leap out and treat a wounded soldier that got shot on a patrol.
Tommy appealing to the Captain to he wonāt get moved to a different platoon when Eddieās gets shipped out to the trenches after the battle is won. Travelling together in the trucks, pinkie fingers linked under Tommyās coat that lays across his lap. Sending coded messages to one another when theyāre separated for 3 months, arranging illicit meetings in the bowels of the trenches where they know are no patrols that night.
Tommy taking a bullet a month before theyāre due to go home and Eddie pressing his hands against the bleeding wound, ripping bandages with his teeth and injecting him with morphine. He removes the bullet and stems the bleeding and Tommy spends a week in the field hospital before heās cleared for duty again. Eddie wiping hair from his sweating brow and pressing kisses to his temples, his cheeks, his lips, when he knows no one is watching. Theyāre so careful, but their love blossoms nonetheless and leaving one another at the end of the war is like losing a limb.
SIR! Respectfully, lovingly, fuck right the fuck off for this. It's brilliant and life giving and soul shifting. Huddling in barns? Linking pinkies? Kissing (and more!) in secret? CODED MESSAGES WHEN THEYāRE SEPARATED?! Tommy being Concernedā¢ļø for Eddie? Eddie treating Tommy's wounds? SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP
JFC, James, I love this so hard š (and you KNOW I have stuff to finish and this is Not helping!) Head pats and forehead kisses for you. Please feel free to assault my asks and emotions anytime for this š
@peppermintquartz @swiftiefirefighters
#hippo gets mail#teddie ww2 fic#james tag š#please god lemme finish mer!buck and still have beans for this
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