#my brain goes straight to those memes with different

[botanikos]

How do you wear boots?

❝ Well. . . . I do not wear boots. Though, I imagine it wouldn't be too difficult to seek someone skilled enough to design a pair should I desire them! And if I did have boots, I would wear them upon my feet of course. What a silly question! ❞

[anopenbookunderlockandkey]

The 118 Sauce Chat

Eddie: I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I’m not going to stop

Chim: please elaborate on the wrong way to make spaghetti sauce; it sounds highly entertaining?

Eddie: 1 chop onion and put in a pot

Eddie: Add 1 or 2 cans of diced tomatoes. Whatever makes the ratio of onion look right.

Eddie: Add a ridiculous amount of frozen peas. Peas should make up a notable portion of this sauce.

Eddie: Add frozen corn also if you wanna be real fancy. If I have bacon I’ll ad that too. But I very rarely have bacon.

Eddie: Cook on HIGH

Eddie: While sauce is cooking, grab the nearest bottle of mixed spices that isn't obviously for desserts. Add some. How much? I dunno, enough that you feel like you've added seasoning so it's technically cooking. (For me this is most often a mix called Moroccan, but it could be anything. Buck reorganised my kitchen recently so tonight it was something called Pizza Topping.)

Eddie: If you happen to have green herbs lying around, add those too. Whatever you have on hand that's green

Eddie: Let the sauce boil on HIGH until all the water is gone. Stir occasionally so the saucepan will be easier to clean later. Serve on cooked spaghetti noodles with no cheese

Eddie: Today I added a new step called "while the sauce is cooking, duck out for 15 seconds to text the group chat about spaghetti sauce, then get distracted and forget you are cooking." This adds a novel Extremely Burnt edge to the flavour profile.

Chim: I am not Italian, or of Italian descent by *any* stretch of the imagination.

I am also not one of those "cooking purists", who believes that everything must be done in a specific/ traditional way (unless you are making a cooking video with the title "how to make x" in which case if you don't specify mid video that your way is not traditional god help you).

I am a firm believer in "If it tastes good, then it is correct for you".

Chim: Except in this case

Bobby: This hurts every cooking bone in my body. The latent ancestors in my soul. The judgmental elf in my brain just bit a cyanide capsule

Hen: Why? The spices.

Using a different spice mix every time, based on what is ready at hand just ... hurts

Eddie: *sends SPICE IS SPICE meme*

Ravi: absolutely deranged, Eddie. Food crimes.

Bobby: Hey Eddie, looks like you forgot to mention the part where you obviously sweated the onions, because nobody would make spaghetti sauce that had straight up raw onions boiled in tomato juices.

Bobby: RIGHT????

Bobby: Please Eddie

Eddie: I don’t know what sweating the onions means

Hen: It means. It means you cook em a little in a pan with a bit of oil first

Eddie: A pan? How many dishes do you want me to have to wash here?

Hen: I mean you can also do it in the same pot you're making the spaghetti sauce in! The important thing is the onions get a little cooked before the wet stuff goes in, so they're not so wet and limp and boiled....

Eddie: Honestly this depends entirely on whether I remember to chop an onion first or I find the can opener for the tomatoes first. The ingredients go in in whatever order they go in.

Ravi: Eddie, who hurt you???

Eddie: A pack of wild chefs herded my mother off a cliff

Chim: Theres probably a hit out on you for this

Eddie: What kind of stupid idiot would waste money assassinating someone who's so clearly going to accidentally poison themself for free at some point

Bobby: hi Eddie, big fan of your firefighting, this is the sauce equivalent of the running up a metal ladder in a lightning storm to try to pull up a 6’0” tall man instead of lowering him to the ground

-Athena

Eddie: Athena, that is the meanest review my cooking has ever received

Chim: congratulations you found the worst way to do it! this feels like a spaghetti recipe made by AI before it got really sophisticated

-Maddie

Eddie: this group chat’s hate mail game is insane

Ravi: at this point please just eat every ingredient raw… please

Eddie: Do I look like Tony Abbott to you

Buck: As a former Committer of Food Crimes, I have decided to make this sauce this weekend after I have a chance to go to the store. I will report back.

Eddie: Excellent, I look forward to vindication.

Hen: No one's going to vindicate your boiled onion in cinnamonny tomato juice on noodles, Eddie

Eddie: Not cinnamon. Cinnamon is a dessert spice. You use the nearest non-dessert spice.

Ravi: cinnamon is absolutely not a dessert spice

Eddie: Yes it is! It's for muffins and pancakes and fruit pies!

Chim: Cinnamon powder is absolutely a dessert “spice” and Eddie if your cooking is this bad I can’t imagine your baked abominations

Eddie: I put lemon juice in everything I bake that isn't bread

Written for the only two gremlins (endearment) who find this as entertaining as I do @professionalprocrastinator22 and @gravelyhalversobbing

Inspired by:

[thefoxtherapist]

Gouchase Headcanons

2k words of my thoughts and feelings. I honestly could have put more but if I don't post it now I'd be adding to it for days.

Uhh warnings for self harm and suicide mention in Go's part. The last column is also NSFW.

Chase:

Before he died he often wrote down things those around him would say so he could search it up later at the library. Or ask. He asked Gen a lot of questions. 

When he came back, he went and got a library card. He also renewed his license at the same time.

I personally hc Chase to be Panromantic Demisexual. He had no idea he even had a libido at all until later on. Ahem. 

Upon learning that both Heart and Medic gave their lives to save humanity he privately mourned them. There’s a park near Go’s apartment where Chase has set up a sort of memorial area for them. After a while he realised he should do something for Brain too, so there are three stacks of rocks.

Chase picks up a lot of part time jobs here and there, since he’s in his mid 20s with no “experience”, most of it requires having good people/customer service skills so he gets fired a lot. He doesn’t care though lol-

Eventually he lands on wanting to help people and not fight again unless absolutely necessary. So he signed up to do paramedic classes!! It fit things he could do and could learn, not to mention his goals.

He gets on very well with Kano, but the detective keeps him at arm's length. He isn’t bothered by it though. They are relatively similar. 

Chase kind of hated eating or drinking before he died but afterwards he does enjoy it. Even if his functions are different and food isn’t ‘required’. However! He does have to drink liquids otherwise the fluids that are in his body aren’t hydrating properly. 

Before he died, he slept in the drive pit. When he comes back he stays with Go.

Chase likes doing odd jobs for the people in their apartment building. He does weekly groceries for a little old lady a floor up and she’s always such a sweetheart.

It takes a while for him to get his bike back and he is willing to fist fight Krim for it. But luckily he gets it back relatively quickly. Chase has found out he HATES walking everywhere. Walk hater.

I think he has to power down aka ‘sleep’ in order to run daily maintenance on his internal systems. If he goes too long without ‘sleeping’ he gets like baymax from big hero 6 lol

Its decided he'd take Krim's last name for his legal work but he highkey hates Chase Steinbelt as a name.

Go:

He has HPD, he did not get officially diagnosed with it until his mid 20s. But he’s had it for a while. He also has adhd obviously

I actually gave him a deadname which I RARELY do but in this case I saw a meme with Banno and Go, and the name in the meme was Amy. So I’ve given him the name 亜満 (Ami) with the specific meaning of ‘satisfied’ because he was NOT satisfied with that fuckass name.

The kind of man who thinks gay people are chill but freaks out if HE is gay. Despite this. He is Biromantic and Demisexual.

I also hc him as a trans man. He’s another trans guy with severe daddy issues. His are world ending though. Were, I guess.

Kiriko obviously knows he’s trans, she does not know he isn’t straight until much later.

Shinnosuke also knows! But only because he looked through an old family album and put 2+2 together. He was very apologetic about finding out without being told. Go dgaf, he makes his sister happy so whatever.

He has a pretty bad problem with self harm, and while he did the occasional self destructive thing as a younger teenager, it wasn’t until after Chase died, did it become a problem.

Doesn’t take his jacket off if he can help it, and if he knows he has to, he wears a long sleeve under his graphic tshirt. 

The worst areas are his inner arms and upper thighs. So if he can help it, nobody sees him in a state of undress.

Go used to really love swimming, it was one of the athletic things he did more often. But for the above reasons, he can’t really swim easily so he doesn’t.

Despite being self destructive, the entire four years Chase is dead, Go does not drink nor touch drugs. He is very insistent about staying sober and focused. 

He did almost pick up a cigarette habit but Rinna complained about the smell in the drive pit so he ditched it as quick as he got it. Shit lasted one pack lol

Huge huge sweet tooth. Especially ice cream. He likes to try all the weird flavours various places offer. 

Go makes sure his english skills are up to snuff by watching american horror movies. 

He usually has said movies on while he's working in the pit. Kyu likes to comment on the fact he can do steady hand work on the body husk while people are screaming on the small nearby TV. 

Gouchase:

Go has a small box in his room that is filled with pictures. Each picture is taken from a high place, showcasing the view. He writes the date and location on the back of each photo. These are the pictures he’s taken while he’s at his lowest. Go wants to take Chase to each place one day, to take new photos.

He also keeps Chase’s license in that box. 

Go keeps two things in his jacket pocket, his razor, and Chase's signal bike. Speaking of his signal bike, he makes sure it stays clean and pristine. He’ll dedicate time to it each week.

Chase’s final thought before he died, was of Go. He blamed Kiriko in the moment because he didn’t want to upset Go as his last act. But Chase wanted to protect him.

“Baby sweetie pie light of my life, my heart.” + “Hello, Go.”

Go once convinced Chase to try weed after arguing about the legality for twenty minutes. Chase smoked his entire supply and only got a bit buzzed. Roidmude problems.

Kiriko asked Chase to get Go into therapy and so Chase decided to try and find a two on one therapy kinda thing to ease Go into it. He accidentally signed them up for MARRIAGE COUNSELLING. Go went with it and lied his ass off the entire time making up this grand marriage scheme. Chase tried but he’s kinda shit at lying.

The idea of being married to Go is what caused Chase to realise he had feelings. The only reason he doesn’t confess outright is because Go is already putting in a lot of effort to teach him things right now, he shouldn’t be forced to teach him about these emotions too. 

So he asked Shinnosuke. Go proceeds to miss every single courting attempt. Because he's too homophobic to himself. It drives Chase crazy.

Chase sleeps on his back with Go tucked into his side, arm and leg thrown over him. Usually they sleep at the same time, but if not, they both have a tendency to stare at the other.

If its a particularly hot day, he’ll sit on the couch in his natural roidmude form with Go in his lap, pressed chest to chest. Chase runs very cold unlike a majority of the other roidmudes. But its perfect for Go who runs hot thanks to his injections.

Go is a bit apprehensive about pda but he slowly opens up to the idea when he sees how much Chase does not care what people think. Makes him confident too.

Though they did get accosted once at a bar. Someone actually hit Go. Chase proceeded to break his creed in the moment and broke the individual’s fingers. He has no regrets, sometimes a tenet needs nuance. 

Overall, Go is pretty reserved when it comes to pda. Which is crazy because he is VERY vocal about his affection for Chase in literally any other space that he deems safe. Chase actually loves pda. He does not care what others have to say, he WANTS to kiss Go.

Go taught Chase English! Chase’s english is actually way better than Go’s and it makes him a little mad lol- 

Go helps with any of Chase’s studying that requires doing stuff on a patient that they can easily do at home. Chase usually just ends up carrying Go around though and getting an easy workout in while Go giggles.

As a result of their relationship they both do change quite a bit. Go helps Chase learn the intricacies of humanity and emotion and that you’re more than who you’re ‘created’ as. While Chase allows Go to accept himself. It’s both things that take time and effort, but overall they’re better for being with one another.

Go is the only one qualified to repair Chase’s body when he gets hurt, which is ironic because Chase is currently learning how to repair Go’s body too :) robotics human boyfriend x paramedic robot boyfriend.

Even before they got together, Go started making a memory box for Chase. A few photobooth photos of them, things that reminded him of Chase, a photo of Go and Kiriko, a photo of Shin, Kiriko, and Eiji. A few handwritten letters too. Go wanted to make sure in case anything happens, that Chase won’t forget his family.

Chase ripped a bunch of flowers outta someone’s garden to give to Go in a bouquet, lil sap.

“Who taught you to be so flattering, huh?” “You did.”

Chase would try to throw himself into a burning building to save the people stuck inside and Go is- immediately going with him because he won't let Chase do it alone but he also has an inclination for protection unfortunately and thats the type of couple they are.

NSFW Gouchase:

Once they start they do not stop. Pretty much every day. Go has a really high sex drive and Chase doesn’t mind meeting him there. It wasn’t really until they started dating did Chase think about the libido thing. But it also only took a few days for him to realise that Go does in fact turn him on.

They still didn’t have sex for like a while though which is why it starts with Chase walking in on Go. Oops.

Chase is slightly above average at 15cm, I gave him this size because its a nice number for Me to look at. Also can’t go wrong with around the average mark anyways. 

Chase is a hella scar kisser and it drives Go wild/pos. He likes to take Go’s hand and stretch his arm up so he can kiss along alllll the scars there. Makes Go squirm.

Go was a virgin before Chase, he’d done a lot of hand and mouth stuff, but he could never quite make himself go all the way. Ironically, the closest he got was with Kano. That was a really low point. Go backed out at the last second though and Kano didn’t push it. 

Chase, obviously, was a virgin before Go. He had no need nor desire. Not to mention it would get in the way of his actual goals. He has much less to worry about now that he’s been brought back after his four year nap. And Go makes him feel warm.

Their sex life is surprisingly vanilla? They’ve tried some stuff and they get up to some Freaky things but its mostly your average sex life. Lotsa missionary or riding. Chase usually tops but Go’s got a strap for a reason when hes in a particularly top mood. 

One of the weirder things they tried was cutting and Chase Hated it. He made one cut and that was the end of THAT. Go had to hold him for the rest of the evening because he just couldn’t deal with the idea of hurting someone he loves. And I mean yea Go gets it, dude self destructed for him, it isn’t really that surprising.

One of the more dangerous things they are into though is choking. Usuallyyyyy its Go choking Chase even while hes bottoming? It’s much harder to actually restrict Chase’s air flow but they managed to find a good pressure. 

Shower sex is huge. Sex against the wall is huge. 

Overall their sex is as clingy as they are.

[boo-bookeys]

There is no reasoning outside of hyperfixations for this drawing

Fun Fact: I tried to finish this at my local Dunkin until a homeless guy started yelling because he needed money. The workers did nothing about it. I finished it at home.

.

Btdubs, since my last drawing featured just me, Elaine and Althea, this is the first time I have fully draw the entire Gurlfriendz group, (From my knowledge of who's in it) and subsequently, the first time I ever drew Jam. Yet this is what I do to her.

I swear, my artstyle typically isn't this sloppy. But wanting to draw in between school AND post once in a blue moon, sacrifices have to made sometimes.

.

Close-ups-

(Art Description: A traditional pencil drawing of the Gurlfriendz group drawn to imitate the style of the Gluttonous Goats from Psychonauts 2.

@drjaslaine /Elaine has an oval-shaped head and a plush-like body. Her arms hang at her sides, and she has hoofs instead of hands and feet, as do the rest of the group. She has thin ears that perk up on her head, and straight, sharp-ending horns in-between them. Her long hair flows down her back. She has patch of lighter fur on her stomach and going down her face, with the latter leading to her muzzle. She nonchalantly looks off to the side. Her goat pun-related name written under her is Elamb. (Elaine+Lamb)

boo-bookeys/Brooke has a square-shaped head and a plush body. She rests on hoof on her side, as her right arm is lifted beside her. She has one leg tucked behind the other, which sticks out. She has round, half-lidded eyes that stare at the viewer. The light fur on her head leads to a snout. Her ears half-flop and half-stick up on the sides of her head. Her horns near the center of her head slightly curve inwards. Her pun-related name is Brooke De Los Cabros. (Brooke Of The Goats)

@altheadajoysoul /Althea has a square-shaped head, and plush body. She is standing on a box to compensate for way she was drawn. They squat down with their legs spread out and hold their arms upwards excitedly, as they appear to grin and shout ecstatically, while their eyes look in different directions. They wear rounded glasses, and there is meant to be circles of lighter fur around their eyes. Her short black hair slightly sticks outwards and covers part of her face. Her ears perk out from the top of her head, and her horns are small and stick up straight. She has a patch of lighter fur on her stomach. Their pun-related name is Althea Grass. (A Field Of Grass)

@crownin-thestars /Jam has a rounder head and plush body. They hold their arms up in a content manner, as their right leg slightly bends inwards. They have a noticeable lighter fur patch on their stomach, and down their face to their nose and mouth. They grin among their friends. Their hair is of medium length and goes down their back and bangs cover part of their face. Their ears are floppy and rest on the sides of their head. Their horns are sharply drawn and curve inwards. Their pun-related name is Ram.)

.

(Image Descriptions: Under the art are screenshots from the movie Big Daddy.)

Over a screenshot where Julian chants "Kangaroo Song" over and over again, the words "My Brain" and "Draw the Gurlfriendz! Draw the goats! Draw Gurlfriendz as goats!!!" are plastered over him.

Over the screenshot of Sonny screaming "ALRIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!", the words "Me trying to get my work down" and "ALRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" are plastered over him.

Beneath those screenshots, is the "Beyoncé, I'm so sorry, sweetie" meme, revamped to say "Jam, sweetie. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that the one time I draw you, you come out in such a way, oh my god.")

.

(Closeups of the Gurlfriendz' designs are under the Beyoncé meme.)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

HAHA make sure you get your sleep!!! Gonna start working on mine too o7

And no fr….literally every panel comes with a breast comment like this is not necessary….sometimes I forget she’s 22 like that fr is so young!! They could’ve dogged on her for being an inexperienced young adult or something but no ofc it’s gotta double as fan service

HAHA no literally like as much as she hates to admit it (for now) she’s almost as tied to otoya as y/n is to Karasu…like look at the parallels we had rivals to lovers now we got enemies to lovers!! I mean y/n acted like she hated Karasu at first too soooo

I always forget about the ages the fact that Rin is so young and shidou is so old is insane like…shidou you’re beefing with someone straight out of middle school (according to the game Rin’s in 8th grade although I think that’s slightly inaccurate and they meant he was fresh out of 8th grade maybe?? But I saw that line and I was like wait what)

NO FR I can imagine him flipping out seeing an octopus crawl out of an impossibly small place or de-camouflage and LOSES IT I can imagine it’s like that “my dog don’t bite. YES BITCH IT DO” meme HAHAHA like y/n just admiring all the creatures and karasus like nuh uh. Unfortunately don’t have a Roku but I looked it up and LMAOAOAOA

Miratoya CANON FR!! Guys turns out bestie is just Mira?? Out of denial I can’t wait to see the development in the episode otoya movie blossoming romance enemies to lovers so true

I can’t believe they added that in there like GET CHIGIRI OUT OF THERE??? Use those legs run bro run I love the tabieita interactions!! Wish there were a bit more but I’ll take it <3 comepltlet forgot they have some voicelines about each other that I’ll have to take a look at later when I find them but I know for a fact Karasu has one that’s like “use yer brain ya stupid ninja!!!” LMFAOOO

I LAUGHED SO HARD FR!! Like bro cleaning up Karasus attitude is so funny like half the player interactions with him have been somewhat linked to Karasu…in another one they’re talking about kansai dialect and how Hiori’s from Kyoto (since the players trying to make sure they don’t mistakenly assume he’s from Osaka) and he goes “ah I won’t get mad if you accidentally mix it up….but I know there’s some players here from the kansai region who’d be like ‘Ya moron can’t ya tell the difference between Osaka and Kyoto??’” And then the players like WOW that was a great Karasu impression and Hioris like “anyone can do it they just have to speak Kansai dialect with a foul mouth…I don’t think being able to imitate him well is a compliment” HAHAHA

Also I saw your recent post about being the top blog in the Nagi and Karasu tag (AS YOU SHOULD!!! Feeding us well fr) but my dumbass…I clicked on the pic you included trying to tap on/look at the diff blogs and it wasn’t working and THEN I realized that it was a screenshot like omg…no wonder I was like how’s some of your text just floating below without the usual post format?? Goodbye.

-Karasu anon

thank you bby 💖 i hope you are staying well rested too!!

no yeah the breast comments are just so yuck. and YES she’s only three years older than aiku!! there’s so many other ways her character could’ve gone…she’s literally ego’s boss too i wish they would really lean into how SHE came up with bllk and how fucked up that is 😭 like everyone talks abt how ego is torturing these boys in soccer jail…what about anri?? she’s just as responsible LMAOAAO let women be morally corrupt plsss

YES EXACTLY like is she forgetting the six years of straight ‘hatred’ that existed between karasu and y/n before they got together ⁉️ she’s stuck w otoya i fear 😓 and otoya is stuck w her…both of them are peeved abt it but it’s inevitable 😫 imagine the triple dates between tabieitaken and their gfs though i bet those would be so entertaining

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING bro shidou you are looking at colleges and this kid just left middle school PLEASEEE LEAVE HIM ALONE 😭 but to be fair there’s some middle schoolers i’d square up w sooo

y/n convinces him to go to the manta ray petting station and the instant the tip of his finger brushes against one of them he starts screaming and acting like he’s dying because he got “stung” and “these are the bitches that killed steve irwin” poor y/n gives up at that point 😭 like first of all those were stingrays and these are manta rays, and second of all she’s just going to take hiori w her next time because karasu is so embarrassing (to be fair he DID try to warn her)

miratoya is the only valid ship in blue lock let’s be real 🥱 you caught me…i actually am the bestie but from the future where i realized my true feelings for him 😈 the world is not ready for episode otoya ong it would break records because of the depth and beauty of our romance

JDDJKSDJSJ NOT THE KARASU IMPRESSION hiori is so right though he’s such a distinctive guy omg i love him sm for that 😭 please the way he’s solely known for speaking kansai and swearing a ton…that’s my man right there…poor hiori is working overtime to clear karasu’s reputation bruh he needs to be paying that poor boy or smth because ik for a fact that hiori is TIRED!!

HAHA it actually looked weird to me as well that’s why i added text below and above it!! but yeah i can’t believe i’ve rambled abt them sm that i’m now the first recommended blog under the karasu tag and in the top ten under the nagi tag 😰 but happy to provide as always 💪🏻

[pandoa]

rook hunt is ripped with muscles and here's why

because some of you guys don't give him enough credit and my brain is rotting; let me live

i'll get straight to the point, i've tried out archery to see what it's like in the past—learned the basics and such—and for those who have never held a bow in their life, let me tell you it gets extremely tiring after shooting for more than an hour or so. so imagine how strong you must be to be shooting bows and arrows since you were a child. that is Rook Hunt, who was practically born from the womb with an archery set in his hand /j

bows have different draw weights that affect the speed, force, and distance that is needed to shoot an arrow. typically, children use bows with a 10-pound draw weight, as young adults and adults use bows with 20 pounds or more. to put this into some sort of perspective, i remember my stamina with the 20-pound bow lasted me about half an hour until my arms began to weaken and shake with how out-of-shape i am but anyways 💀

i've heard that the typical draw weight for hunting is about 40 pounds. and assuming with how long Rook has been an archer, i can imagine that he is physically well-fit enough to exceed the 20-pound draw weight and move onto more efficient bows for hunting like the 40-pound.

think about how developed your muscles must be if you began shooting with 10-pound bows since you were just a kid, moving onto 20 pounds as you get older, and eventually using the 40-pound draw weight as you gain more strength and hunting skills. knowing with how much Rook uses his bows and arrows, it's safe to assume that he most likely hones these skills by practicing archery quite often (i can see him going out to practice at least once a day; don't quote me on that though, this is just a thought i have considering that other hobbies also require daily practice to maintain a person's skill).

there are so many muscles involved in a human body's shoulders, back, chest, and arms that you must use when drawing a bow. exercises focusing on the muscles needed for archery are often done to strengthen an archer. this is where Rook's very toned figure comes in lol.

with the numerous muscles needed to carry out his hobby on a constant basis, Rook would need a strong set of biceps and shoulder muscles to keep up with the bow's general weight and stamina for however long he goes out hunting for. bro has built up muscles, man. built up muscles.

in game, though, i will admit his body does look on the more slim and slender side. i can see why some people in the fandom don't see him as a character with buff arms, but i would like to respectfully disagree. Rook Hunt has scrumptious arm and back muscles i'd shamelessly stare at as his magic hands do whatever wonderous things they do with his bow OH AND GUYS HIS LEGS I MEAN-

ahem. anyways.

i know many in the fandom tend to bully this observant hunter—with his questionable haircut and uh huntsman habits of his—however, these targets for harmless memes cannot overshadow the fact that Rook Hunt is ripped. from head to toe, this man is most likely relatively high among the list of twst characters that are incredibly strong (with Jack trumping them all) and is probably covered in toned muscles, which he maintains with his hunting.

this isn't even me simping anymore; it's just simple logic if we all go by what we know about the Pomefiore vice housewarden. i'll defend this man with my life—and that includes writing a useless essay on why Rook is more muscular and buff than we may think lmao

so in conclusion, Rook has beefy arms that the world is not prepared to talk about just yet. the end.

[jeez-nuts]

(I.) Unrequited Love

(Ace Trappola x Reader) (Deuce Spade x Reader)

Description: When he realizes his feelings for you but also realizes that their feelings will never be returned back.

Warning: My poor attempt in comedy

❤ Ace Trappola ❤

❤ Remember his first words to you and Grim when y’all first met? This redhead is out there spitting unfiltered words at you being magicless while laughing, luckily for him, you don’t have a gun with you that time-

❤ It’s like you’re a muggle and he’s the muggle-slanderer Malfoy 💀 What a sweet first impression he gave you

❤ Anyway, due to the power of plot-convenience, you and Ace get to spend more time (whether you two like it or not) with each other as time goes on, even to the point of becoming friends.

❤ A friendship in where he is the one getting trouble with Grim and Deuce while you’re the one getting them out of trouble. <insert that meme of a tired guy having a collar on two feral gremlin>

❤ He’s still a jerk though, the kind of friend that would say “Haha nerd!” straight to your face but if someone else does it, he’s ready to throw hands at that someone.

❤ And that’s the start of him realizing his growing feelings for you, okay, we all know he is a resident-dumbass but his one brain cell does function from time to time, and this case is one of those examples.

❤ Maybe because he’s seen how you’re more than what he had seen you before initially, and whatever he had seen in you makes him draw near to you.

❤ I mean, look, you always end up being the center of everything! It’s actually pretty hilarious now that he thinks about it.

❤ Fun seems to always follow you around, even the trouble kind of fun too, there’s not even a single day has passed that’s boring when he’s in your company. He is always excited at the sight of you.

❤ …or did he just mistake that excitement with his own beating heart that quickens when you’re nearby.

❤ And it beats even more rapidly whenever he sees you smile and laugh.

❤ But he’s not the reason for your smile and laugh. It was Deuce. He has noticed how many times your posture stiffens and how your cheeks redden whenever Deuce approached you two.

❤ So he wasn’t surprised when you confessed that you liked Deuce and asked for advice (Idk why Ace was the person you think would be good for advice but alright), yet it still didn’t stop the ache in his chest when you admitted it.

❤ You said you were too shy and scared to confess to Deuce

❤ Ace sighed, teasing you with the nickname “Chicken” which aggravated you, but that taunt has given you enough courage to confess to Deuce to prove that red-head jerk wrong.

❤ …In the end, it was him who was the coward which is strange since he’s the type of person that doesn’t even hesitate before acting… yet, he hesitated when he was about to confess to you. Besides, he doesn’t need your words of rejection anyway since he knows your answer already when your gaze on Deuce is different from your expression to him.

❤ Now, his heart that used to beat so fast whenever you're near, is now aching painfully whenever he sees you with someone else.

♠️Deuce Spade♠️

♠️ Deuce, our sweet beloved moron

♠️ Unlike Ace, Deuce is denser than the whole galaxy when it comes to his feelings for you and he only realized it during his phone call with his mom when Deuce told her about what the school is like, the people, and you, of course, were included <3

♠️ And when the subject landed on you, he was blissfully unaware that he continued on rambling about you with a smile in his face and eyes that could sparkle until his mother pointed it out.

♠️ “I see, my son finally has his first crush.” His mother giggled at the end of the phone.

♠️ "ABRRHIIVFYKKOGGHUUUUK”

♠️ If Deuce even has a brain to begin with, It’s already malfunctioning right now

♠️ After a long session of his internal panicking at the sudden realization of his true feelings that he had harboring over you while choking on air, he cleared his throat and mumbled apologies to his mom.

♠️ His mom giggled, quite amused with the whole thing, happy that he was finally getting friends and possibly a future partner as well. Considering how happy he sounded in talking about you -more like praising you- She can happily entrust his happiness to you. So she suggested to him the idea of why invite that special person to dinner in their house the next time they can go back.

♠️ Deuce was caught off-guard by her suggestion, hinted through a big blush creeping on his cheeks at the thought of you.

♠️ Y/N finally meeting his mother. He can see it now, the image of the two most important people in his life getting along together… They’re the source of inspiration for him in making an effort to be a better person for the sake of making you two smile.

♠️ His first objective after all once he stepped inside the school was to make his mother and his grandmother proud, but along the way, he didn’t expect that he would have another person he wanted to impress too.

♠️ You have no idea how much you made him happy, that’s why, if you allow him to, he wants to make you happy as well.

♠️ He didn’t realize that he was spacing out again until his mother replied again, and then his apologies repeated again, the blush on his cheeks reddening further.

♠️ Before the phone call ended, his mother told him she is so proud of him and how much he has grown, she can’t wait to see him again along with that special person. Deuce smiled with a soft voice, “Goodnight too, mom.”

♠️ The next day, Deuce was staring intently at his notes with his eyebrows all furrowed and his eyes focused, determination all over his mind.

♠️ He has to get good grades!

♠️ He has to be a high-honor student!

♠️ He has to be the man that you deserve!

♠️ As he was getting lost in his thoughts, he absentmindedly wrote your name and doodled a heart on it

♠️ So at the time when you asked for his notes, he was so eager to pass it to you, he’s ready to help you anytime!- That’s when he realized what he had done in his notes, those heart doodles! Out of sheer panic, he quickly grabbed his notes back from you, and tore that certain page, shoving it inside his mouth then swallowing it…

♠️ Deuce, what happened to becoming the man that Y/N deserve again?

♠️The next period was breaktime so he was glad when he saw you waving at him, you were already waiting for him at the table. Deuce, of course, apologized about the incident earlier and you told him to not mind that with a chuckle.

♠️ Deuce smiled. You were really nice. His mother is going to love you.

♠️ And it's already one of the things he already loves about you

♠️ Oh right! The invitation! He almost forgot!

♠️ Deuce was about to sit beside you and tell you about the invitation but Ace beat him into it, immediately taking the spot that is next to you.

♠️ This infuriated Deuce to protest but Ace once again threw a snarky comment, and oof, the two are at it again, well, there’s not a day complete if the two aren’t arguing again…. until you placed your hand on Ace’s shoulder to calm him down, Ace, in return, looks back at you softly, then back off from the argument with a defeated sigh.

♠️ Eh?

♠️ That was confusing. Nevertheless, Deuce brushed it off to focus on his plan to invite you but as days passed, his attempts to ask you out always failed since you never seemed to be alone, if Grim wasn’t beside you, Ace is.

♠️ He should had his suspicions about what’s going on between you and Ace yet he ignored it… Maybe he was too dense? Or was that he wanted to believe it's not true? Whatever it is, he finally overheard that you and Ace had started dating.

♠️ Was he too late?

♠️ First… he realized too late that he had feelings for you and now it was also too late for him to realize what’s between you and Ace?

♠️ “Deuce!” You called out to him with a concerned look on your face, but Deuce forced a fake smile on his face, telling the two congratulations before he ran off back to his room.

♠️ With shaking hands, Deuce opened his phone to call his mom but before he could even say that the plan was cancelled, his throat tightened, and tears spilled down his cheek.

♠️ He tried… He tried so hard to hold back a cry but it was no use. It hurts. It too much.

♠️ His worried mother on the other side of the call is trying to comfort him while Deuce keeps apologizing between his sobs of how sorry he is that he lets her down.

♠️ Not only did he get his heart broken but he broke his mother's heart too… again.

Notes

• Grim has the most screentime but I keep forgetting that he exists

• English is not my first language and it shows

• If you manage to finish this finest cringework of mine, I applaud you

• And if you do enjoy it, feel free to leave a heart and/reblog it, it would mean a lot (Okay i sound like those youtubers in their outros now 💀)

• Planning to write a version of this for the dorm leaders because I love suffering and fictional characters suffering

[starriwonderland]

Hi! :D I wanted to request the twst cast HCs abt music (the characters prefer music genre, most liked and saved songs to least prefered music etc). Bonus if you add their theme song (according to what you think it would be)! :)

Hi anon! Thanks for asking! >:> I'm always up for a good challenge! I don't really listen to popular songs so ... I failed the bonus😿

Feel free to interpret these as romantic or platonic accept for Ortho cuz he's my son.

no NRC staff, Grim or RSA sorry guys

(since this post has all the characters, no pictures cuz I'm too lazy to make multiple parts 💀)

please ignore my horrible character quotes I tried :')

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Riddle

Listens to classical music

Pretty sure his mom didn't allow him to listen to different genres since they weren't "educational"

I think metal is terrifying to him

"Mother said that classical music was good for the brain...though I do wish to explore other genres with you..."

Ace

Probably listens to whatever he's feeling at the moment

I can't read Ace at all but he definitely is one of those who will sing annoying songs loudly to piss everyone one off.

"Come on prefect, let's prank loosey-deucey with this song next"

Deuce

He really enjoys rap, but I think he's a little slow to catch onto the meanings of certain songs...yeah someone help him 😭

Well since deuce is trying to be a good boy, he probably started listening to family friendly music.

Gets really annoyed when ace tries to peer pressure him though

"Uhhhh, Ace showed me this song but I don't get the lyrics-"

Trey

WELL SINCE TREY WANTS TO LIE TO US AND BE BORING ON PURPOSE🙄

Also listens to classical music

But when no one is watching he's listening to whatever he's in the mood for.

"My taste in music? Well I'd consider it average."

Cater

It's canon that he loves pop music

Probably listens to stuff like Cardi B and Megan the Stallion too

Has Olivia Rodrigo and break up songs somewhere in his playlist though.

Lyric pranking people. Just as bad as Ace too

"This song was trending on Magicam! It's totally bop wanna hear it?"

Leona

Uhhh given he spends most of his time sleeping, he most likely is listening to calming music to put him to sleep.

material girl vibes

Other than that idk what else😿

"Oi herbivore, stop making such a racket can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"

Ruggie

HAH RUGGIE ACTUALLY PLAYS MUSIC TO GET MONEY TAKE SOME TIPS FROM HIM /HJ

I think Ruggie would be subconsciously humming a tune of that one song everyone has heard during the middle of class

He's not spending a lot of money just to listen to a song though

"Shishishi, you can make a sweet few extra buckets by playing music on the side of the road you know-"

Jack

Taking into consideration that Jack loves morning runs, he'd probably be listening to something energizing

Has his morals and definitely doesn't fall for Ace's pranks. Tries to save Deuce sometimes

"This kinda music gets me going in the mornings when I go on my runs with Vil-senpai. Care to join us sometime?"

Azul

Would he love mitski?

He's not telling anyone his taste in music

With the assistance of Jade he crafted a beautiful playlist for Mostro Lounge based on the top trending songs.

Does he like all of them? No, but he can put up with it if that means he gets more customers.

"Do you like the playlist? I carefully selected songs that would suit your interest so stop by sometime~"

Jade

You know that one meme that goes "she's so adorable I wonder what she's listening to"? Yeah that's jade's music taste in a nutshell.

While jade probably did set up a professional playlist for mostro lounge, his personal playlist scares the living daylights out of people.

He will listen to anything with a straight face.

"Oya?~ you land dwellers idea of music is intriguing. I should listen to this when I go mountaineering next time."

Floyd

Floyd is well...Floyd-

Seriously one minute he was into pop now it's boring and he's listening to meme music.

Just don't say anything about it unless you want a scary eel squeezing you.

"Koebi-chan this song is boring can't we listen to something else? I know I just chose this but I'm not in the mood anymore~"

Kalim

Kalim loves the traditional music from his home town

I believe he once heard Nicki Minaj name and was like "Oooo what's that?" Jamil stopped him really quick though.

Yeah he's even more clueless than Deuce when it comes to these things.

"Ahaha do you like this song? Let's dance to this until sunrise then!"

Jamil

He acts like he doesn't have a preference and we all know it's a lie.

Opposite of Kalim Jamil seems to prefer relaxing music to party music.

Since he basically breathes stress he definitely wants something to unwind.

"I know you may find my taste in music boring compared to Kalim but I'd love if you'd listen to this one song..."

Vil

Vil doesn't have a preferred genre, but I think he enjoys those songs that make him feel like the queen that he is.

Pretty sure he's been exposed to various styles of music, since he is a movie actor.

Though, I'm 100% sure he doesn't wanna hear country music blasting at 4am by a certain poison apple while he's trying to get his beauty sleep.

"Different genres have different characteristics that make it special just like people. One is not superior to the other."

Rook

As expected rook doesn't have a preferred genre

He see beauty in every melody, no matter if it'd even make your ears bleed

Just whatever catches his attention in the moment, he's all in for!

"How does one expect me to chose one specific genre when they all radiate with such majesty? For every note stirs my heart and touches my soul. Beauté 100 points!"

Epel

COUNTRY MUSIC!!!

DEFINITELY PLAYING IT AT 4 IN THE MORNING

Oh no Vil just took Epel's radio away...sorry Epel :,)

Had a spare one under his bed

"I'll take let you visit my home town one day so you can witness the music in person."

Idia

Night-core

Vocaloids

Lofi-beats

Probably his favorite anime OPs

Canon that he listens to idols (Premo)

"HIEEE!!! O-oh you just wanted my recommendations for music? S-since it's you I guess I don't mind..."

Ortho (platonic)

Kids bop THATS ALL HES ALLOWED TO LISTEN TO!

He also loves baby shark and was singing it. DONT YOU DARE SAY YOU'RE SICK OF HEARING THE SONG ORTHO CAN SING IT AS MUCH AS HE WANTS

"Nii-san installed a new playlist he made just for me. I thought maybe my best-friend would want to hear it?"

Malleus

Another lover of classical music

Canonically talented with stringed instruments

Would he enjoy rock?

Wants to expand his knowledge so he does try other genres

He doesn't really listen to humans music given he probably gets confused by the lyrics and "would rather not decipher it's cryptic meanings"

Definitely not impressed by Lilia's taste in music :|

"Child of man, allow me to play the violin for you~"

Lilia

We all know Lilia loves metal and screamo

He also loves all the other music genres though some of the lyric do surprise him

Lilia is a little menace so he'll definitely sing obnoxiously loud those songs that everyone doesn't want to hear anymore

"Kufufu, allow me to sing you a song that will awaken your soul!"

Silver

Can he stay awake long enough to listen to his favorite song?

Given that he's always surrounded by forest creatures and the lack of technology back in Briar Valley, he loves the songs nature sings

Birds will sing the most beautiful songs while he drifts asleep

"What's my favorite song? I haven't really thought of it, but the forest creatures did sing me to sleep sometimes whenever my father was away."

Sebek

Kinda a tricky one but I think Sebek is the type of person to say:

"I ONLY LISTEN TO THE MUSIC WAKA-SAMA PLAYS!!!"

He applauds Lilia's singing but we all know he had peed himself

Screeches like a demon in terror whenever someone plays music that's has a rating above TV-G

"NINGEN!!! HOW DARE YOU PLAY SUCH A VILE LYRICS IN THE PRESENCE OF WAKA-SAMA???!!! HAVE YOU NO SHAME???!!!"

[marley-manson]

hunnihawk leader follower and/or meta shit lol if you're still doing the wip game

Thank you! Yeah I'll always answer ask meme prompts as long as people want to send them, idc how long it's been.

I'll give you everything I have written for the first one, which is:

AU where instead of Carrie Donovan BJ cheats with a man and Hawkeye finds out. BJ has a crisis, and Hawkeye straight up takes advantage. Instead of encouraging BJ to stick with his wife, he encourages BJ to explore those feelings and consider that he may not be happy in a heterosexual marriage etc etc and makes out with him.

Basically the idea is a fic that leans into Hawkeye's force of personality and tendency to take charge and pursue what he wants vs BJ's paggro resentment of it even as he goes along with him. Plus I think the fact that Hawkeye once canonically tried to cajole someone into leaving their spouse for him, and was perfectly fine being ~the other man~ to Margaret, should get more attention lol. Like, if the circumstances were different with BJ, as in he's not straight and Hawkeye realizes it, I could see him going all out in pursuit of an affair, and I’d love to see that explored. So like, it would basically be Hawkeye convincing himself that it’s in BJ’s best interests to fuck him because that’s what he wants, and BJ going along with it because that’s also what he wants but being wracked with guilt at the same time and sort of letting himself be led because then he can put more of the blame on Hawkeye rather than himself for not either divorcing Peg or putting his foot down and not cheating.

***

meta shit is probably the fic I’m most likely to finish and post next, since I actually wrote it all the way through to the end and now I just have to edit it. And figure out a title lol. But basically Hawkeye gets insomnia again circa like season 9 or 10 and in his half delirious state notices the tone differences between the early seasons and the late seasons and tries to investigate them. It’s not full like, Hawkeye realizes he’s in a tv show style meta, more just a vehicle to self-indulgently explore some of my own takes on the show and Hawkeye.

Hawkeye squinted at him. His eyes were taking a while to adjust to the dim interior after coming in out of the light. “Why aren’t you in a dress?” he asked.

“I don’t wear ‘em anymore. Are you feeling all right?” Great, now Klinger was clucking over him. 

“I’m fine, but green isn’t your color.” 

“I was always partial to yellow, personally. But you’re a few months out of date for that, Captain.”

That word hit him like a mild electric shock. “Hey, hey, look - why do you call me that?”

“Huh?”

“That, that, ‘sir,’ ‘Captain,’ all that. Seeing as how you-you-you hate it here so much.” His brain was sliding out of his ears but his body had more than enough energy and drive, so he started pacing.

“Gimme a break, here, Captain - Hawkeye. I had to be a model citizen to get out on a section eight. You know that. Please don’t walk on my bed.” 

He diverted his route slightly for the next lap. “You don’t anymore.”

“Yeah, well, old habits die hard. When in Rome, you know.” Klinger said it with fake cheerfulness. Hawkeye had infinite reserves right now and he still couldn’t help but wonder where he got the energy to dive into every pointless little task and gesture with a smile and a crisp salute. 

He spun around and walked backwards for a few paces to look at Klinger. “Don’t you think it’s demeaning?”

“I’m pretty used to it.”

“Guess you can get used to anything eventually.” A sudden rush of vertigo hit him so he sat down on the bed when he got back to it, needing to ground himself on something for a minute. Klinger was at his side in an instant. Maybe he’d wavered a little as he sat down.

“You don’t seem drunk,” Klinger said, “but you’re definitely something. You stay right there, I’ll get the Colonel.”

“I’m not sick, I’m just not tired either.” He rested his forehead in his hands, palms pressed against his eye sockets and elbows braced on his knees. 

Klinger didn’t run to find Potter; he sat on the bed next to him. “When’s the last time you slept?” he asked. 

“Two days ago.” He rubbed his eyes and opened them again.

Klinger whistled. “Want me to whack you around the head with a two-by-four?”

“Let’s give it another day before we resort to that.”

[fierceawakening]

if my previous abortion posts have made you uncomfortable, this one likely will as well, make of that what you will

i think maybe what's different about me than the people i'm arguing with is, when people described abortion to me as a dilemma, i always identified with the fetus in the example, not the carrier

as a born disabled person, i'm used to being dependent on others. i'm used to needing them to do things others don't need.

i'm used to them thinking of this as an imposition, as a problem, as a thing I somehow did to them.

So when I hear "I want to HAVE A CAREER!" my immediate thought isn't "oh, this person is talking about not being ready for parenthood, and saying that trying to care for a child and do the kind of work they currently do at the same time would be untenable, and that's perfectly reasonable to think about and analyze."

My immediate thought is "You needy thing! YOU KEEP GETTING IN THE WAY. Sometimes I straight up just wish you were dead."

...except that at that time, the wish could be effectuated legally.

So I thought abortion was creepy and couldn't figure out why people found it important. If treating born disabled people that way because we're too needy is ableist, why was treating unborn "people" that way okay?

Which is why... when I see people mocking those "was it worth it, Mommy?" antichoice memes I feel a bit weird. On the one hand, I agree that a fetus isn't sufficiently developed to understand that they're being rejected so the whole thing is beyond silly.

But on the other, the part of my brain that goes "yeah so I needed to be in an ICU when I was born and people had decided that was too much need i would have died, and I'm glad i didn't, and the idea that if they'd all been ableist I would have makes me want to puke" does activate when I see those memes.

Because what is more needy than a human that requires a specific supportive environment to survive? What's more vulnerable?

And in so many other cases, caring for the vulnerable is a fundamental value. So this feels like... a break, until my brain reminds itself that caregiving isn't and shouldn't always be required of people, even if the people who need the caregiving will surely and literally die without it.

Anyway, I hope this sheds some light. I strongly suspect that the people who think antichoice views are "about control" haven't actually thought about how terrifying it would be to depend on others to live, but not even be able to tell them you want to.

And that didn't dawn on me, quite honestly, until JUST NOW.

I'm 43.

[thegeminisage]

6, 13, 18?

HI BESTIE ty for asking sorry i didnt do it last night I Went To Bed. lets fuckin go

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

well, look, the obvious answer would be those j*hnlock truthers, and i do hope those tjlc people are having a wretched day rn wherever they are, but ACTUALLY im actually choosing atla for this just to say (sorry) i hate zu//kka SO MUCH. i hate it so much, it's unreal. i don't particularly have beef with the shippers necessarily but i think the concept is so fucking lame. it's a classic case of migratory slash fandom paired with a side of misogyny. the thought process goes like "zuko is rotting holes in my brain > want to ship him with someone > i don't want to ship him with a female character > the only one left is sokka." (even though suki is right there.) aang is out on the basis of being a baby and the rest of the gaang is girls. if you don't like zutara that's fine, but sokka/zuko is the SAME THING with less anger issues and less women. katara is kind of a devisive character to begin with (this is misogyny) but then one time i saw someone deride zutara for being "straight" to reason why shipping zuko with sokka was superior and i have never forgiven it. IT'S THE SAME SHIP. like HOW was this popular enough to PIT ZUKO/SOKKA/SUKI IN THE OT3 SEMIFINAL POLL? hello?? what were they doing there?? suki and zuko speak TWO LINES to one another! god! i guess that's better than using your ship to excuse hating suki but jesus christ it's so transparent just say you hate women and go

13. worst blorboficiation

i'm not doing this one or your other one for spn bc someone else sent in these exact numbers so i am choosing teen wolf. what im gonna say is so controversial but it's actually peter hale and it's not even fanon that did this IT'S CANON. i used to be a big peter fan and then it got completely ruined. ok so peter's whole thing, right, is that he's a deeply horrible person and that kate argent burned every molecule of humanity out of him during the hale fire. okay, got it. fuck yeah. that's rad. SO WHY THEN. IN THE SEASON 3 FLASHBACK EPISODE. WAS HE ACTING EXACTLY THE SAME AS HE DID AS AN ADULT. and this was the one thing that fanon was getting RIGHT. pre-fire versions of peter in fic were wildly different to post-fire versions BECAUSE THAT WAS THE IMPLICATION. peter works perfectly as a villain because his actions are reprehensible but his motives are justified which makes him COMPLEX and with one episode they RUINED IT. it speaks to a larger problem of jeff davis backtracking a lot of stuff that was said or implied in season 1 (such as kate preying on derek when he was underage) for censorship or what the fuck ever. now whenever i see peter in anything the only thing i wanna do is roll my eyes. they made him like him for ten whole minutes in 6A and that was the best it ever got again. sorry to peter hale fans.

18. it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

i won't list my teenwolf rarepair here, but that. oh, wait, actually, my ff13 rarepair. fang & lightning are WAY BETTER than fang & vanille. this on the basis of 1. hot. that section where you can do double commando. sexy. 2. everyone keeps calling vanille a kid and it weirds me out to ship her with someone who calls her that/thinks of her that way 3. lightning/fang is sort of the same dynamic as lightning/snow which i love in a NONROMANTIC way in that lightning is the straight man, very stoic, and fang is so flippant and casual about everything and so open with her emotions that it gets on her nerves until it becomes endearing. and theyre both quite In Charge generally so when lightning is like well every monster is one step closer to rescuing vanille they keep each other going in that same way, out of sheer stubbornness. anyway 10/10 ship dynamic i completely understand and respect fang/vanille fans but i wish fang/lightning got the same amt of attention

[ASK MEME]

[mira--mira]

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. For the meme thing 👀

Uhh, my brain completely skipped over the "3" part so I made a slightly longer list, here we go 😅. These aren't in any particular order of favorites and are all authors that I've enjoyed 3+ of their fics which is my informal way to measure the difference between "wow I really like this author" rather than "wow I realy like this fic".

(To no one's surprise it's another hashimada author rec list, though they've all written other things to, that I'm sure are equally as wonderful.)

Makkoska @makkoskafanfic

Their fic "First Kiss" was the fic that really sold me on hashimada as a ship. It wasn't the first fic I had read with the pairing, but definitely the one that made the most impact on me when I was getting into Naruto and the Founders era. I also really like their newer fics, especially the different kinds of modern AUs, (Lost & Found series, Homecoming, etc.) those are usually hard for me to get into, but I really like the different premises and I think they're all done really well!

deepestbluest @asotin

Buddy! Her first fic I read was "Carbon" and is one of my favorite what-ifs that explored a Madara that left the village but still regulalry returned, if only for a bit. "Pull me in, begin" and "'Cause it's the early days" are both modern AU fics that feature a blind!Madara and "Tie a Rope Around My Soul" features a deaf!Hashirama and I really liked them as there's not a lot of fics that explore disabilities, even fewer that feature them prominently without making it a fic solely about said disability (I hope that makes sense?)

AndreyaHalms @andreyahalms

An extremely versatile writer that makes me like AUs I didn't think I would (ie "On the Nature of Romance" is the only straight hashimada fic that I'm interested in reading lol). "Dual Wielding" is one of my favorite mythology AUs in this fandom and is absolutely hilarious as is "road to burn" a superhero AU. Their sense of humor is exactly my kind of humor and even in more serious stories there's always small bits woven in that I find really impressive, not to mention their skill with writing is top-notch all around!

selwyn (I don't know their @/ on tumblr, sorry!)

This is a little embarassing, but this is probably my favorite hashimada smut writer. They hit that perfect 'smut with feelings' golden zone where the relationship is believable and you're not smacked in the middle of what's supposed to be an emotional, loving scene with one character calling the other 'bitch', 'slut', or other kind of degrading language that is used way too much in smut for my tastes. "Sultry" and "not another pollen joke" are the best of these and I read both very carefully when I first wrote Oasis and Exertion trying to evoke the same kind of emotion and physical scenes, they were done so well! On the not-smut side "winter's night" is one of my favorite short one shots ever and "not much longer" is a great study of why Madara hates Tobirama that goes beyond killing Izuna.

Rouge_Angle/enquiring_angel @enquiringangel

God how do you write short one-shots that stay short but are still emotional and wonderful? Please share your secrets! In addition to writing amazing one-shots, they're also one of my favorite fluff writers, "Even When We're Old and Grey", "Yuki-Daruma" , "Warmth in Winter" and "Sleeping Trouble" are all highlights of this, especially "Sleeping Trouble", and are set in canonverse. But my favorite fic of theirs, which...also could be considered fluff in its own way, is "Accipiter" which has one of the best summaries that basically sells itself: "A short AU where Madara is a tengu and Hashirama is literally a tree."

[snekjin]

"Breaking in, up, down & out" (1988) for the fic summary meme 💕

My brain just goes straight to crime AU/Heist fic. I very briefly mentioned in an earlier ask, an “Oceans 11 AU where 1988 are ex-lovers reuniting to pull off a huge heist (“we’re not calling it Toews 11”)”

If you haven’t seen the movies it’s all classy smooth-talkin’ conmen robbing casinos and having top-tier bromances.

Well, skip from bromance to romance. I’m thinking Pat and Jonny met in their early twenties when they were young hotshots, maybe they tried to case the same joint at the same time and wound up messing up each other’s plans. At first they were rivals but eventually they realized they’re not so different after all.

“The only thing you ever stole from me… was my heart.” “Christ, does that line work on the ladies?”

So Jonny’s the dreamer who comes up with the big ideas and Pat’s the schemer who puts the details together. They high roll together in 5 star hotels and tropical resorts, scamming every rich fool they come across, making love in those fancy Egyptian cotton sheets.

But maybe Jonny gets reckless, starts meddling with the big fish and Pat gets nervous, y’know. You’re in over your head, Jonny. Don’t let your ego be the end of you. And they end up splitting over it.

Fast forward a decade and Jonny’s putting together the crew for his biggest take yet. He’s got Stromer to hack security, Flower to sneak through the vents. But what he needs is a conman. A real smoothtalker to get them through the front door. And one of the boys says, hey, I know a guy.

And in walks trouble that Jonny thought he’d said goodbye to for good at a diner in Arizona ten years ago.

[jmoriarty-221b]

Ok so I’m reading Titans Tower AUs where Jason goes ‘kill the Replacement’ straight to ‘must protecc the child’ real quick (those are the best) and I just read the part of the dialogue where Tim tells Jason that he’s been cleaning up Gotham ‘the easy way’ in reference to how the Red Hood is a killer

And now I’m thinking of this piece of dialogue in a new light because, what if Tim Meant that literally like “have you ever had to disembowel someone with just a spoon???? No, you use guns to kill people and actual knives to decapitate their heads instead, you noob. Only real killers know how to decapitate someone with a pencil and let me tell you that it’s harder than it seems”

Meanwhile Jason is all offended because did Robin, the one who follows Batman’s no kill rule, just criticize him on how he kills people instead of criticizing him for, you know, actually Killing people???

I can just imagine this conversation is going on in the kitchen of Titans Tower with Tim in his pajamas and Jason in full Red Hood gear in the doorway because this was supposed to be an ambush but now he’s actually kinda offended because of course he could kill someone with a spoon and threatens Tim again only for Tim to flip that Uno Reverse card and literally arm himself with a spoon, brandishing it in front of himself like it’s a knife, and just going like ‘bitch I’m not Robin right now so let’s go, I’ve been a little out of practice and it’s so nice of you to offer to be my next victim’ with a little creepy grin on his face and suddenly Jason feels the embodiment of the meme: *nervous laughter* “what the fuck”

Somehow, Tim manages to pry Hood’s helmet open with the goddamned spoon and hey, Jason should really buy some silverware like that and he’s half tempted to ask Tim where he bought it from, and damn who knew a spoon would be such an effective weapon and oh my god this kid is actually crazy why does he know how to use a spoon as a weapon Jason better not go out via spoon now that’s just embarrassing; at this point there would be no life threatening injuries on either one of them, though Jason did manage to cut the kid’s throat at some point and got a spoon to the shoulder for his troubles but now they’re both tired, the Pit of Green Juice is quiet in the back of Jason’s head and ok, maybe he can, begrudgingly, admit to being impressed at how well Tim can fight with a spoon but it’s mostly just concern as to why he knows how to fight with a spoon and Tim is just like ‘Look Jason, yes I know, don’t look at me like that, just, let’s call it a truce and go patch up because I don’t want to kill you but I will have no problem strangling you with your own intestines if you keep trying to kill me ok? Ok’ and at this point Jason really doesn’t think the kid’s joking all that much so he agrees to the truce between them (let’s face it, having the Big Bad Red Hood get taken out via spoon would just be so embarrassing that Jason wouldn’t find peace even in death)

And it’s not until they’re both patched up that Jason decides it’s safe enough to ask about why Tim said that he’s not Robin right now (there’s no more spoon in Tim’s hands but he’s still on alert because the kid is just insane enough to try and bite him); and Tim’s like “uh, yeah I follow B’s moral code as Robin but I’m not particularly attached to it? Like, it’s not my moral code, whatever that is, and I’m not actually part of the family so just think of me as more of a close coworker? Anyway, I am and will always be a Drake, my family motto is literally ‘May Our Enemies Choke on Their Blood While Our Hands Remain Clean’ so you can get a picture of how I grew up, and to answer your questions, yes I have killed people, no I don’t really regret it, they were really bad people, yes i will throw hands again, no the Bats have no idea, and yes I have had to decapitate someone with just a pencil and disemboweled someone with a spoon, so yes I am actually qualified to complain about how easy you people with guns and knives have it when it comes to killing people because I would’ve loved to have had at least a pocket knife back then, hell I would’ve taken a sharp icicle but no, the only thing available was a pencil so I had to make do, also no, I really don’t want to kill you, I actually like you but please stop coming after me and we can just meet up to kill some of the more evil Rogues sometimes, we can even make it look like an accident”

Jason is just so Shooketh at this point that he will just focus on the last sentence for now because he doesn’t have the brain power to battle through that dump of information right now so he’s like ‘what would you know about setting up accidents Timbit’ cue Tim being like ‘well, it wouldn’t be all that hard to just mislabel a few chemicals in Joker’s newest hideout and have him blow himself up while trying to make a batch of Joker Gas, a sort of poetic justice when you think about it’

Basically, an AU where Tim wasn’t trained by Bruce first so he has a different moral code (whatever it is) and has been in just enough crazy situations to warrant his bizarre skills with a spoon

[floralovebot]

Helia and Tecna friendship headcanons? -lambofzenith

AHHHHHHHHHH okay so

helia is really bad at technology right? pretty much anything that isn't covered in red fountain lessons, he's a complete no-go at. tecna takes it upon herself to try and help him understand basic technology a bit more and it goes so wrong. helia is literally the mom that squints their eyes and holds their phone away from their face while using One pointer finger to type everything. tecna hates it so much.

helia naturally doesn't understand a single thing that comes out of her mouth when she's talking technology but he still supports her nonetheless

helia is surprisingly rational most of the time! he's a firm Push All My Emotions Down And Then One Day I'll Die kind of person so even during really stressful missions, he's good at keeping a level head about things. tecna really appreciates this and it's not rare to see her, helia, and timmy discussing mission-related strategies During The Middle Of A Fight

tecna has a tendency to talk while she works (only noticeable around people she's comfortable with though) but she gets a little self-conscious about it. she knows it's not Bad or anything, but it doesn't seem Right either so she tries to keep quiet most of the time. helia on the other hand is so used to working while it's noisy that he's totally chill with it. they've gotten used to just vibing in the same room, working on their own things, and not actually talking to each other during it. they're comfortable around each other :) helia doesn't mind when she rambles out loud and tecna doesn't mind him pacing around the room every five minutes. symbiotic relationship.

tecna doesn't like talking about what she went through in the omega dimension, even with timmy. however, she does occasionally draw things out when she really needs to vent and can't think of any other way how. she's always been good at sketching due to her background in designing gadgets so this wasn't a weird transition for her. helia told her about this anonymous place for artists to submit their art with absolutely no names attached and after checking to make sure it was legit and she was completely safe, she started to submit one or two a year. she doesn't like to do it often but it does help to sort of "get it out" without actually talking about it.

while helia is notoriously Bad at video games, he does actually like the more "physical reality" ones (think that virtual reality tecmy scene!) mainly because it feels close enough to real life that he doesn't need to rely on just technology to do it. tecna and helia often have very competitive gaming matches but specifically within those kinds of games otherwise, he's really bad at it and she gets annoyed that he can't remember any of the buttons.

speaking of competitions, helia has an inner bet going on of How Much Can I Pretend To Not Know Jackshit About A Specific Technological Topic Before Tecna Notices. what he doesn't know, is that tecna knows he does this and has her own inner bet of How Long Can I Explain This Specific Topic Before Helia Gets Bored And Moves On. so far, the score is mostly even, with helia only winning because timmy isn't aware of this mental battle and will often jump in to explain things too. helia is very smug about this and tecna can't say anything to timmy otherwise she loses the fight that no one actually set firm rules on.

timmy is just really happy that his two best friends are also friends and sometimes he tries to invite helia and flora on their dates. tecna is okay with this only because she thinks it's funny. florelia were also okay with it but started to not be because they realized that their version of a date and tecmy's version of a date was extremely different. they've started to come up with increasingly ridiculous excuses for why they can't go and so far timmy is the only one that hasn't noticed. poor timmy, he genuinely thinks flora's best friend cactus is sick and needs care 😔

when timmy isn't available, helia will call tecna for any technology related issues he's having. on one hand, she likes that he trusts her and can rely on her, on the other hand, she's told him ten separate times not to leave his computer running all the damn time. (tecna: please turn the computer off when you're not using it. this will immensely help solve all of the problems you've been having. helia: okay so i'm gonna leave it on all the time?). he's not trying to be difficult though. he just forgets everything and assumes it should work regardless (he a little stupit).

roxy gets so much gender envy from both of them and it confuses her all the time. they have no idea what a gender envy is though and they're mostly just wondering how they stop giving it to roxy since it seems like it agitates her??? help please???? researching the matter doesn't help and it ends up becoming a meme on winx stan twt because tecna made a very official and serious post asking about the severity of "gender envy" and needing to know how contagious it is. now whenever either of them posts, earth teens just comment gender envy at them. helia still doesn't know what it means.

they don't watch movies/tv together but they will binge-watch the same shows and then talk about them later on. tecna's formatting is still very formal and functional meanwhile helia bounces off multiple points and forgets to make a conclusion. he stresses her out so much.

helia notices when tecna has stayed up too long for too many nights and will occasionally send her a "please sleep" message when he knows timmy is already asleep and can't do it. she doesn't always listen but sometimes she will, but not before sending the same message back because why the fuck is he up at this hour huh dumbass?????

tecna has a pet bird and helia has multiple cats and they absolutely cannot be in the same room together. her bird is constantly trying to fight his cats and while they're usually well behaved, he's genuinely scared they're gonna try to eat it (tecna: stop calling my bird an "it"; helia: stop putting your bird near my cats 😐)

they actually don't like hanging out when one of them is upset. they both have a hard time talking about their emotions (for different reasons obviously) and they always end up feeling like they have to say something when they're together. they just really prefer hanging when they're both in a good mood or at least calm. whenever one of them gets upset, they stop hanging out together until that person feels better.

connected to the last point, you'd think that would mean they don't know a lot about each other, but they surprisingly do! they're both relatively observant people (tecna gets better every year) and they're actually really good at figuring out why the other is upset and what would help. they just don't talk about it.

although, on a similar note, the one time they did have an emotional talk, it was about timmy. tecna was feeling upset again and worrying over whether or not she's "too logical/not emotional enough" and it was the one time where she actually allowed herself to hang out with him while being upset. they had a genuine heart to heart about things and especially about how she's way too hard on herself. they thought it would be awkward since they actively avoided this kind of thing but it wasn't! it went very naturally and helia even teared up a bit. he's very proud of her and the effort she makes every day and since that talk has been much more vocal about it.

when they went to earth in s4, they both spent way too much time learning about Earth Things; tecna about earth media (canon), and helia about animals since that's what flora was talking about. he started calling tecna "chip" after that because chipmunks reminded him of her. she disagrees with this assessment and he refuses to admit he mixed up chipmunks and squirrels. he still calls her chip to this day, and fortunately, it's grown on her. unfortunately, he calls timmy "chip" too, and now it's a hassle to figure out who he's talking to.

helia is surprisingly interested in zenith technology despite not understanding it all! he enjoys walking through the streets of zenith with tecna while she proudly points things out so he can go "ooo aaa" at everything. sometimes she tries to explain how things work and his mind starts playing elevator music automatically. tecna has gotten really good at knowing when helia is just. brain empty no thoughts because she recognizes the Empty look in his eyes. she enjoys catching it live and trying to figure out why he's just. not thinking (usually it's because he either doesn't understand something or got bored) (this happens often when sky starts talking) (sorry sky)

tecna is one of the winx (besides flora of course) that helia trusts the most. not in an emotional or friend way, but in a physical, we're on a mission way. she has good control of her magic and knows how to use it. she's good at thinking of strategies and applying them properly to the situation. and after the omega dimension, he had a newfound respect for her previously unknown to him survival skills. if he were even in severe danger, she would be the first winx he'd call (depending on the situation, she is occasionally ahead of flora).

helia is really bad at sharing details. he tends to go straight to the conclusion but doesn't share how he got there (adhd king 😌) and tecna is the best person to call in when this happens. her logical questioning makes it seem so easy because she has the patience and knowledge to connect the dots and ask the right questions. when anyone else tries its more like (helia: i'm sitting in a pool of blood; person: uhm do you know where it's coming from?; helia: probably the stab wound; someone: did you get stabbed??; helia: oh yeah definitely.)

[dawncloudrising]

Hey y’all,

  I know I’ve been quote unquote “dead” around here, basically just running off of my queue. During the last few months, I’ve been trying to get things together for the current semester while also balancing out daily life with my father as much as possible. I heavily apologise for missing out on things I was tagged in and thought to myself I’ll do. I have a feeling I know what the answer will be with the rest. More under the cut, because major health stuff. 

  I had planned on going through my likes during the week of Labour Day (Sept 6) with the thought of catching up on old tag games and memes and whatnot. Dad was to be home all that week, and I’d typically have been left alone for about… 70% of the time. No big deal. Easy enough to write and create. 

  That didn’t happen. 

  Instead, dad started having terrible issues with speaking and getting his point across. He’d grow frustrated by saying one thing and not being able to get what he actually wanted to say out. I got him to see his PCP, and they couldn’t find anything. At that point, dad just chalked it up to being stressed out about changing departments where he works. 

  I would have agreed, if not for that next Monday (Sept 13). His speaking issues had grown to include walking and balance issues. (Note: we’re not the most graceful of people by a long shot, but… Dad wasn’t to the point of constantly coming close to falling.) Between that and him not remembering even his last manager’s phone number? It became a bigger issue right there. He did remember the PCP’s number, perhaps because it was a labelled number still in his call history. He was told not to pass go, not to collect $200, and to go straight to the ER. He tried to brush it off, but I had already lined him up with an outfit, taken his keys, and got him a ride. 

  It was found that night that he had an abscess on his brain. Later in the night, a biopsy was done and the doctors were able to get a good portion of whatever was there out. And the next night (Sept 14), I got the call. It was deemed to be cancerous. Possibly some of the worst news to get after losing two other close family members to different types of cancer.

  Fast forward to today (Sept 29), dad’s been home for almost two weeks. Some days are good, some days are bad, all need to be taken in stride. I still have to play charades and the Pointing Game to try and understand what he wants- he doesn’t play very well, but it’s neither here nor there. 

  I’ve been thrown into the deep end for doing all of the chores. I’ve not broken another plate or bleached the wrong clothes yet. Cooking is another. And being his “home nurse” a third. It’s a lot for my severely unready and unskilled self to take.    I’ve got family at the ready, however. We’re all kind of planning for the worst and that dad may not live for another six months, but we’re praying he sees 80 and goes somewhat back to normal.   My sister has taken over trying to figure out what the whole family wants done while keeping me in an underwhelming loop. Photos are being scanned and copied. Family is figuring out who can take the animals and I IF dad has to go into assisted living. Just…. Things like that. 

  It’s a fucking lot to handle. Whenever I’ve gotten downtime between everything, I’ve been trying to take my anger and budding grief out on quests and mobs and rares. And even then, the tiniest thing can set me off into tears. 

  I know this may not fully excuse my radio silence here and the vagueness towards those I talk to through other means. I also know there could be way worse reasons to just disappear and be vague, but I still want to apologise for it. And apologise for future silence and outbursts and venting. This is not the last time something like this will come up, I’m sure, because grief is an odd beast. This is not something I should take out on other people, and if I slip up, I’ll try to apologise and make up for it to the best of my abilities.