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sunflw3rbouquet · 3 days ago

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another time

in another time, you and me could be together forever, and have a perfect, carefree romance.

toji x male reader spoilers for the jjk manga and anime :p

notes: semi-jjk canon compliant (toji's mentioned to be alive? idk how to explain and tsumiki doesn't exist), ooc toji, angst tw: angst, abandonment, cursing, depression, mentions of arguments, mentions of blood (implied assassin career). i might of missed smth, lmk if i need to add anything

…sun✰: writing this bc im depressed and i love my toji<3

in another time, i could come home to you.

the house was dark, no lights that burned electricity working. there were only candles that slowly reached the end of their wick, giving the room a soft glow. it created a creepy haunted atmosphere if there was no one present. y/n hated coming home to the empty house. it depressed him more than he usually was in this lifestyle.

he called out for anyone, dropping his coat on the rack at the door. y/n kicked off his shoes, peering his head to look towards the kitchen. “toji, i’m home.” there was no immediate response, meaning the man was most likely asleep or was out of the house buying alcohol.

y/n didn’t expect a response. he learned to not expect one. toji was, for how much he loved him, never around enough. the house was just him, megumi, and the scent of cigarettes and dried blood.

sometimes the opposite of expectations occur.

“will you be quiet? i just got megumi to sleep.” toji’s head poked from megumi’s bedroom, holding the sleeping 3 year old in his arms. his heart rested for a second before clenching again in a stressed anger. y/n held back a retort, something along the lines about how he just made a paycheck for their family and how he shouldn’t be chastised for trying to talk, but he held his tongue and allowed the bubbling emotions to burn in his gut. getting angry at toji right now wouldn’t do anything. it rarely did anything, due to toji’s hard head, and only made things between them worse. besides, the anger in his stomach allowed him to feel anything other than pain that lingered in every curve of his brain.

“i’m sorry.” y/n said with a lack of the smiley tone he had before. toji’s face faltered only for a moment, not one second longer. apologies weren’t common among them, the pride they both carried was both strong and loud. toji coughed slowly to clear his throat, megumi turning sleepily in his arms.

“it’s fine, just- say good night to him? he was whining all night for you.” toji’s voice is rough, the softest bit of emotion slipping through his voice as megumi turned once more in his grasp. the anger burning a pit in y/n’s stomach quelled as toji handed him the boy, his thin body much too light for his age. megumi’s eyes slowly opened, a glimmer appearing in his irises as he saw y/n.

“you’re home!” he happily said, reaching his small hands up to grab y/n’s hair. y/n smiled at the touch, leaning down to press a kiss to megumi’s forehead.

“i am. have you been giving daddy a hard time while i’ve been gone?” megumi shook his head at y/n’s statement in denial, the flush caking his face revealing his lie. toji cracked a small smile, pinching his son’s cheek. megumi squealed, dropping his hands from y/n’s hair to cover his face.

“don’t believe anything this rascal says. he was complaining and whining all night wanting you to come home.” toji’s voice had a ribbon of playfulness going through it as megumi tucked his head into y/n’s chest, embarrassed he was being exposed. y/n shook his head, toji rolling his eyes, whispering about how y/n babied the boy too much. when would toji understand that megumi was the cutest thing in the universe? toji leaned up against the door, pushing it open.

laughter escaped from y/n’s throat as the bedroom door opened, toji ushering y/n and megumi inside. looking down at the boy, y/n’s smile changed into a smirk as he sped up while going into the room. “megumi, i got you! let’s run away from daddy, he’s gonna get us!” megumi squealed as y/n entered the room, toji running up behind the two, his arms locking around y/n’s waist with little effort.

“caught you.” toji’s voice was low as he pressed a gentle kiss to the right side of y/n’s jaw. y/n opened his mouth, megumi squealing in response again as toji’s hand sneaked up to tickle his foot.

in between megumi’s giggles, he looked up to meet y/n’s eyes. “you’re terrible at running, dad. we got caught by daddy!” he exclaimed with a pout, kicking his feet against, y/n’s heart stopping.

dad…?

megumi continued to stare up at him, expectantly. a frown started to replace the glimmer in his eyes as y/n didn’t respond to him. y/n was silent for a second more, toji’s cough signaling a ‘pull it together’, snapping him out of his trance. “i’m sorry megumi. it’s all my fault, now i guess you have to go to sleep.” y/n frowned, caressing the boy’s hair gently. toji nodded his head in agreement, megumi pouting as his eyes began to droop.

megumi hid a yawn behind his lips as y/n laid him down on his bed, eyes practically closed as y/n tucked him into bed. y/n sat down on the edge of the mattress, toji following the action and sitting next to him, avoiding the small boy’s curled up body. “sleep megumi, you need to sleep to grow big and strong!” y/n’s voice was cheerful as he pet the top of megumi’s head. the cheerfulness an act he only put on for the kid, one that he let die the second him and toji were alone.

“like daddy.” he groggily whispered, y/n breaking his gaze from megumi to look over to see toji’s smile. there was an affectionate aura that clung to every section of his skin. the look was so different for him, something that y/n had only seen the day toji had asked him out all those years ago. the exclusivity of it made y/n’s stomach burn with a rush of adrenaline, fiery like a burning star. maybe there was more to toji and the gruffness inside him. maybe there was happiness and accepting in there. maybe there was joy in there for the people who he loved. y/n wanted to dig in to find more of it, to see him like this more.

y/n looked back to megumi, his hand now brushing megumi’s hair out of his face, smiling softly at the boy’s half-asleep figure. “just like daddy.” y/n repeated gently, toji’s arm snaking around his waist as y/n quietly cupped megumi’s cheek. “sleep well dear.” that was y/n’s final words to the boy for the night, toji repeating the message quietly. the two adults exited megumi’s room quickly before their movement could cause megumi to stir and wake up again and catch a case of the zoomies.

as the couple entered their room, toji’s hands went to y/n’s waist. his fingers brushed against the waistband of y/n’s pants, his skin barely touching the edges of y/n’s back. the room was dark, as whatever candles toji had lit earlier in the day had definitely burned through their entire wicks by now.

“you’re so good to him. it’s sickening.” toji’s voice was monotone, like usual, but there were sections of happiness peaking through his lips. y/n smiled in return, pressing a kiss to the scar on toji’s lips, so quickly it could barely be counted as a kiss.

“megumi just brings out the affectionate side of me.” y/n spoke, gently straightening out toji’s baggy shirt, his hands stopping on the muscles of his biceps. he slipped away, going to the dresser before he got too comfortable.

toji froze at the touch. he froze so intensely that he couldn’t react to y/n quickly stripping out of his clothes and putting on pajamas before flopping into the bed. “come here, toji. i’ve waited all day to be in your arms.” y/n’s words were soft. inviting. something that broke toji out of his trance and made him walk over to y/n. the emotions made his heart clench, toji now wishing for the connection of the man he… loved.

against a portion of his mind, toji flopped onto his boyfriend, arms tightening around y/n the second he touched his waist.. toji pressed a kiss to the side of y/n’s face, rolling to the other side of the bed, one arm under y/n’s back, the other hanging off the bed.

“god i love you. i think you’re poisoning me, you know? fucking asshole who took my heart and made me fall in love with how beautiful and kind you are.” toji whispered, eyes looking towards the window. his words were most likely meant to be thoughts. even y/n could tell that. a bright smile graced y/n’s face as he slipped his hand into toji’s, staring up at the ceiling.

“you were a bitch too. bringing me into your home and trapping me with your good looks and adorable son…” y/n teased, toji’s exterior falling as he began to complain.

“hey- you came to my house AFTER we started dating- don’t make it sound like i’m a crook.” toji’s words were a grumble as he turned over, clinging to y/n’s side. he pressed a gentle kiss to y/n’s jaw, eliciting a soft giggle from the man. “besides, you love megumi and me. you didn’t get trapped.”

y/n rolled his eyes at the (accurate) statement, moving his body so he rested on toji’s chest, arms loosely wrapped around toji’s waist. his breath came out as soft, warm sighs against toji’s neck, eyes closing due to how relaxed toji made him feel. “you’re warm. i really love you, ji.” toji’s eyes lit up, grip on y/n’s back tightening the slightest bit. it was almost unnoticeable, but the action made y/n smile.

“i love you too, y/n. sleep well.” toji spoke softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his boyfriend’s head. y/n’s eyes fluttered open and then shut, catching one more glimpse of toji, the darkness seeping through the windows as he fell asleep.

y/n felt disgusting. dried blood caked under his fingertips, on the line of his scalp, and soaked his shirt with a deep red color. his heart was beating so fast it was like a high only comparable to cocaine. the back door of the house closed with a loud shutter as he reentered, something toji was supposed to fix ages ago. it was something he probably forgot about and somehow escaped y/n’s wrath, and yet even in his wave of anger, he had no energy to fight.

“you’re home.” toji said plainly as y/n entered into the house, sitting next to megumi at the head of the table while the 3 year old his dinner of frozen vegetables and whatever y/n cheap crap that was semi healthy could find at the grocery store.

megumi began to turn his head, toji covering his son’s eyes before they could see y/n in his bloody tank top and pants. “i wanna see dad!” megumi whined, toji shushing him. he tried to push of toji’s hands, toji not budging.

“dad’s not ready to see you yet, eat your dinner before i eat it instead.” toji’s voice was harsh, harsh enough to make y/n wince at the thought that the person on the receiving end of this was his son.

he - begrudgingly - used this distraction to run up the stairs to the bathroom to shower. opening the door, y/n moved to turn the water on, the shower head turning on. cold water trickled down his arm when he checked it after a few minutes, his neutral expression turning annoyed.

“damn you toji for not fixing the heater.” he muttered, shaking off his wet arm before stripping down the bloody clothes that weighed on his body. he entered the shower, shivering as icey water covered his torso.y/n’s world always got so much darker when he’s in the cold water of the shower. the shock allows his brain to fully awaken and think long strands of thoughts that don’t normally process in the drunken, depressed haze y/n is in during the day.

y/n had a pit growing in his stomach. things had been going too well recently. toji was happy, smiling once a day at the least, whether it was y/n or megumi didn’t matter. he actively tried to please y/n: making sure dinner was made, taking care of megumi, or trying not to curse up a storm right after y/n returned home.

most of these things would make anyone in a normal “relationship” happy, as their partner finally accepted them into their life and allowed them to coexist together. but these things, actions that were so ‘untoji’, made y/n fear for the coming days. was toji hiding something? or did he find out something was wrong?

y/n shook his head, water getting on the old shower curtains and drippin to the ground. he reached for the almost empty shampoo bottle, squeezing out the smallest amount of the watery substance onto his hand. he worked it into the roots of his hair, the blood flaking from his scalp and falling to the shower floor.

the bottle of body wash was comparably newer, y/n taking a large amount after turning the water off to rub on his skin. he basked in the scent, the familiar waves of sandalwood and honey calming down his anxious heart.

everything would be fine.

maybe toji was really getting better. maybe, now, his lover wasn’t someone who he just attempted to make ends meet with, but someone who he could depend on in his personal life. toji was turning into a life partner, and not someone who was there to make the pain go away.

y/n turned the water on one final time, the remaining blood and negative emotions leaving him in the streams of droplets. it would all be fine. he turned off the water, exiting the shower with a happiness that was fresh and clean, like a daisy after the rain. there was a towel laid on the counter, most likely something toji had put there before y/n had made it home.

it was strange being so cared for by a man who didn’t care often. everytime he rubbed the towel over his body to dry his wet skin, his heart fluttered with a golden light that surely radiated off of it, like it was toji’s own hands drying him off. once his body was rid of the dampness, he dropped the now dirty towel onto the floor and made his way to the bedroom lit by small rays of sunshine coming through the windows.

he found a pair of clean boxers in the laundry basket - whether they were his or toji’s both was unknown and didn’t matter. he slid them on to his mostly dry lower body, the domesticity of it all bringing a soft smile to his face. was his life turning for the better finally.

y/n picked a shirt and a pair of pants from the dresser, hoping it looked cohesive enough that toji wouldn’t immediately point it out, which he had done before. the soft fabric made y/n smile, already imagining toji and megumi waiting downstairs for him. he quickly returned to the stairwell, a smile crawling onto his lips as he saw megumi and toji dancing in the living room on the lower floor.

it was a mixture of hilarious and the most precious thing he had ever seen. megumi, bless him, was standing on toji’s feet, reaching his hands up to the sky towards his father. toji leaned over, connecting their hands, swaying from left to right slowly. the music was some soft ballad from a children’s show megumi watched, a bright smile on the toddler’s face as his dad made harmless critiques of his skill. megumi giggled softly, toji watching with a bright smile.

there was a soft breath that escaped y/n’s lungs, wishing he had his old camera to take a picture of his family. this is when they would start anew. megumi’s laughter soared through the house like balloons, toji occasionally letting out his own chuckle every once in a while. there was a new emotion seeping into y/n’s heart. was it one he could name?

as the song slowed to a stop and megumi jumped up and down in happiness, as toji looked up towards the stairs and his smile grew tenfold as he saw y/n standing there, he understood. it was completeness. he was complete, finally, after many years of searching.

“are my two favorite boys dancing without me?” y/n asked, a shocked gasp escaping his mouth as he ran down the stairs. megumi hopped off his father’s feet, meeting y/n at the edge of the living room.

megumi giggled as y/n pat his head, pointing to toji with his small index finger. “it was daddy’s idea.” y/n gasped again, looking at toji with a fake-betrayed look on his face.

“what! it was daddy’s idea!” y/n’s gaze met toji, a fake pout appearing on his lips. the only goal of it was to make toji bend to his wants.

toji rolled his eyes, his hands crossing over his chest. “sorry, my dear y/n, that i was so cruel to dance with my son who begged me to dance with him.” megumi giggled, pushing y/n’s leg gently to get the man’s attention.

“meg, what’s up?” y/n asked, the 3 year waving his hand towards himself, signifying he had something to say. going down to the ground, y/n leaned in, listening to megumi’s words.

“go dance with daddy!” he exclaimed, giggling softly as y/n gasped. does the child enjoy embarrassing him? a warmth erupted on y/n’s face at the thought of dancing with toji, once dormant butterflies growing in his stomach again. y/n stood up to see toji putting a cd in the cd player, before turning around and extending his arm towards his boyfriend.

“may i have this dance?”

there was a pause as y/n took in a deep breath. and then he returned to the reality they both lived in. y/n took toji’s hand, a smile returning to his lips as they stepped closer together and toji’s hand went to y/n’s waist. y/n’s arms wrapped around his neck, a bright smile creeping onto his face.

the world spinned slowly with the cd playing, frank sinatra flowing through the living room as y/n and toji swayed under the moonlight. it was perfect in every sense of the word, slow dancing under the stars. y/n wasn’t used to that perfect from toji, but his heart slowly acclimated to the feeling.

megumi was curled on the couch, beginning to fall asleep as y/n and toji danced the night away. every place their bodies connected had an electrical spark, warmth flowing through y/n’s nerves. toji was the only thing on y/n’s mind, a constant that made his heart flutter in every instant. and then, he understood himself in that moment.

this is the man he would spend his life with.

he could see them growing old together, toji’s warm hands holding him just as they did now. he could see them with eternal happiness, because they both deserved it. they both deserved it so much.

“you’re spacing out.” toji said, his eyes sparkling as he looked at y/n. “what’s up?” y/n snaps out of his daze, making eye contact with toji, admiring the glow. toji’s eyes sparkled so beautifully as they admired him like he was the only thing in the world.

“i just love you.” y/n whispered, pursing his lips together to view toji’s face. he could see all the wrinkles on his face, the lines under his eyes that made him look tired. and yet he saw his gorgeous smile, the scar bending on his lips to accommodate the motion. y/n reached his hand out, thumb rubbing the skin, the warmth connecting him to the earth he stood on and the life he was living. toji chuckled softly at the touch m, brushing y/n’s hair out of his face. y/n leaned into the touch, head tilting to the side like a dog.

“i love you too.” he responded, y/n nodding. he could tell toji meant it. he could feel that in the pit of his stomach. toji really loved him.

“good. that’s good.” y/n whispered, his fingers messing with toji’s overgrown black hair. the man’s smile grew brighter, eyes locked onto y/n’s.

“come here,” he whispered softly, y/n leaning into toji’s chest with a sigh. they swayed back and forth, the music flowing through their ears with a calm aura. it wad a movie. y/n leaned his head up, his eyes like stars saying hello to the moon. his eyes then moved their focus down to his pink lips.

toji’s gaze mimicked y/n’s as he turned his head to look down at his boyfriend, their lips inching closer with each breath that escaped their lungs. at the final second, their lips touched, and y/n could breathe again.

their lips pushed and pulled against each other, soft like cotton and sweet like candy. toji must have been taking care of himself more. the usual rough skin of his lips was gone, the only texture on them being the scar that still laid there, that would forever be present on his figure. toji’s hands laid tightly against y/n’s waist, rubbing soft circles on the skin present as y/n made finger curls with the hair that was right above the nape of toji’s neck.

the night rolled on, the two dancing until their feet hurt and they couldn’t feel left from right without stumbling. it was their own movie, where time was still and the only thing that would ever happen would be love.

the music had slowed to a stop, and the family found themself all cuddled in y/n and toji’s small bed. megumi was fast asleep, he probably had been for what was becoming an hour. the small boy was curled into toji’s chest, taking slow deep breaths as y/n curled the strands of his hair around his finger. it was happy.

they were… happy.

toji and y/n quietly made conversations with smiles on their faces. it was far from the usual topics they discussed, like what jobs needed to be done around the house, when one person or the other was working, what food megumi should be eating, etc etc. it was happy things, like where they should take megumi to play, what flavor his birthday cake should be, and where they should go on a date when they had the freetime.

it was happiness.

and it should’ve been a sign.

it should have been a glaring red sign, instead it was something y/n accepted happily. maybe it was something he would grow to accept in the future.

y/n’s eyes began to close slowly as toji rambled on, a small smile appearing on the man’s face at the action. the moon was well into the sky by now, the two having danced much later than they expected to. he moved his hand to rest in y/n’s hair, gently playing with the strands.

“go to sleep. you’re starting to look like little megumi, falling asleep so randomly.” y/n tried to fight back, contradicting toji’s statement with words about how he ‘was so awake’ and how ‘toji was trying to get rid of him’.

“stop whining, dear. sleep.” y/n lost the energy to fight back due to toji’s hands running through his hair, eyes beginning to close again.

“fine, fine. love you, sleep well.” y/n groggily answered, leaning forward, kissing toji’s lips gently before pulling away, head resting on the pillow next to toji’s. their faces were so close together, close enough that every breath that escaped their lips caused vibrations that caused toji’s bangs to move the slightest amount.

“i love you too. i’ll love you forever, never forget that dear.” the words of toji’s reply were solemn, a stark difference from the happy tone he previously occupied. y/n looked at him concerned for a second, but he smiled once again once toji pressed a kiss to his lips. “yeah yeah, okay loverboy. i’ll love you forever as well.” y/n closed his eyes to the touch of toji’s hand on his hip, falling into a deep slumber, one that he wished he didn’t have to wake up from.

the sunshine was cold.

the sunshine was cold, and yesterday the sunshine was warm. it was so warm that everything was bathed in a golden light. it was so warm that the glittering moonlight heated y/n’s skin as he rested with his family the night prior.

and yet the sunshine was cold today.

y/n’s eyes shot open, expecting to be glancing right at toji face.

and yet he wasn’t there.

toji wasn’t there.

that was out of character for the new toji. the new toji didn’t just leave without saying goodbye. the new toji didn’t just disappear after filling y/n’s heart with happiness he had forgotten over the last years of his life. the new toji didn’t just leave his boyfriend - leave his son - and never looked back. the new toji would never break his heart like this.

unless he was the old toji all along, never changing into the new version of himself that y/n so idolized.

megumi was now against his chest, which wasn’t the same position they fell asleep in last night. now sure, the 3 year old tossed and turned, but whenever toji fell asleep next to the boy, megumi gripped so hard and never let go.

y/n closed his eyes, pressing them shut until there were sparkles appearing in the darkness and his head almost hurt, and then he reopened them, relieving the pressure. and yet toji was still gone.

in his daze of reopening his eyes, y/n saw a note resting on the sheets in front of him where toji used to be sleeping. y/n carefully moved his arm to grab the note, readjusting megumi so the boy was more comfortably resting against his chest. he unfurled the sheet of paper slowly, and he was almost certain the world could hear his heart slowly crack.

dear y/n,

i’ve decided to leave this morning and never look back. i got a job that i will complete. i’m leaving megumi to you, as the little man loves you.

this isn’t because i don’t want to spend my life with you. i wish i could be with you forever but this is how the world is. we must keep moving on.

i hope this doesn’t hurt that much. i really want you to be happy.

i love you my dear,

toji

tears slipped out of y/n’s eyes and onto the top of megumi’s head as he finished reading the letter, loud sobs creeping up his throat, only to be choked down. megumi stirred slowly, his small, childlike eyes opening brightly to look up at y/n.

“dad,” he sleepily spoke, y/n nodding his head to show that y/n was listening, rubbing megumi’s hair to take his mind off of the note that felt like fire in his hand.

“yes, my dear?” y/n shakily replied, tears falling down his cheeks quickly. megumi looked up, about to ask his question, then he looked to his right.

“oh… where’s daddy?” megumi asked, now seeming more awake than he did a few seconds ago. he shifted again, holding y/n a little tighter. was he nervous? upset? scared? did he noticed that y/n was in despair?

“daddy? he’s just gone to work, dear.” y/n voice shakes harder with each word, tears dropping into megumi’s hair as he forced himself to break the contact of their eyes. megumi was a spitting image of his father, the man that y/n loved with his entire life and body, the man who just abandoned their family.

“when will he be home? i wanna go to the park with him, and i wanna have dinner with all three of us!” megumi exclaims, y/n holding back a sob as he tightened his grip on megumi’s grey sweatshirt. he was so happy, the emotion and his tight grasp on him making it harder to breathe.

“soon, dear. this will be a long mission though, i’m not sure when he’ll get home.” y/n almost hushed the boy, megumi’s constant questions twisting his heart into a small ball that couldn’t pump any blood. tears began to fall again, faster as he began to become unable to control the tsunami of emotions in his stomach.

megumi took a breath, hand reaching up to hold y/n’s jaw. “dad, why are you crying?” his voice was filled with a wonder that only a child could hold, crushing his heart into his digestive system. his small fingers brushed the tears off his cheeks before bringing them back down to gaze at them.

“i’m not- i’m not crying, megumi. go back to bed. it’s really early and you were up past your bedtime.” y/n calmed down slightly and pressed a kiss to the child’s forehead, rubbing his hair until he heard the boy begin to take slow, deep breaths. the action made y/n slightly more relaxed, but the silence made him realize the gravity of the situation.

he could finally break down.

and with one tear came two, which came 4 more, which became him crying and holding back sobs as he rubbed megumi’s back. why was he alone? why did he get left again?

there was a sound at the door, y/n looking towards it. but he had just imagined it, no man there looking for him. no man there that was ready to kiss his face and take him into his arms. maybe there was another universe they lived happily in together.

in another time we could be together, and you wouldn’t leave me all alone.

first oneshot completed! love you toji<3 5085 words

#div cr roseraris #✰sunflw3rbouquet #✰jjk #✰toji #ff #toji x male reader #toji x reader #jjk x male reader #jjk x reader #jjk ff #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen angst

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idekwthmuistb · 4 hours ago

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Ok so I got started on dog breeds for the batfam and I know that there have been thoughts abt it before so here are mine! (Also fair warning I go off a mixture of vibes, looks, and basic breed temperment AND im not a dog breed specialist or anything like that, im pretty much just using the akc website for these breeds)

I'm gonna start with Alfred, honestly I was at first thinking a burmese or standard poodle but they just weren't really clicking right. Eventually I settled on him being either a schnauzer or terrier which helped narrow my options greatly! Looking through them all I decided the Giant Shnauzer suited him best in the end. The breed is very loyal, hard-working, and can be quite the guard!

Alfred - Giant Shnauzer:

I saw a post saying Bruce would be a Belgian Sheepdog and at first I completely agreed due to their looks but when I learned a bit more about their personality i was like hmmm so I went looking for something more in line with how I see him. Belgium Teruven popped up right after, and though similar, I thought it fit him better. Honestly could have just been due to the different wording but I like them better for Bruce regardless lol

Bruce - Belgian Teruven:

Dick was surprisingly a LOT harder than I thought he'd be. There were three breeds I got stuck between: the Dalmation, Mudi, and Norwegian elkhound. All very different dogs by all means yet each fit him quite well. I dismissed Dalmation first, though they're agile, they weren't quite friendly enough. Mudi was next for much the same reasons. It was around this time that I had also started considering a Great Pyrenees for him, seeing as they are known as both loving and vicious–though I ended up not going with it because they're a bit too calm (hm maybe alfred should be a Pyrenees instead?). That left me with the Norwegian Elhound. The breed is very dependable, friendly, and just fits his vibes looks-wise.

Dick - Norwegian Elkhound:

I know most people give Jason a mixed breed or just say he's a mutt because he came from a lower-income household but honestly that doesn't sit well with me, especially when we're giving the others their own breeds. As soon as I found the Anatolian Shepard I was like YES THATS HIM!! They're a large breed that is fiercely protective of their herd and are very loyal and independent. They'll protect what's theirs and are surprising nimble!

Jason - Anatolian Shepard:

Cass was honestly quite difficult for me. I quickly crossed out any typical herding breeds (Shepards, Collies, ect ect) and sight-hounds because she was raised to be LETHAL and I know that any breed can be deadly if trained right (or wrong) they just weren't what I was looking for. I played around with a few breeds like the akita, or a basenji, but they weren't quite right. But then, I came across a breed named Kai Ken. They're a medium sized dog, originating in Japan and used for hunting a wide range of animals in Japan's mountains. The Kai Ken are extremely versatile (they're known to CLIMB TREES) and loving of their family. They are also born completely black but develope a subtle brindle coat that helps them camouflage and I just think that's SO COOL???

Cass - Kai Ken:

Now, I'll be real with yall, I don't know much about Duke and wasn't really looking for a breed for him because of that but I came across one that clicked with him in my mind? The breed is called Large Munsterlander which is just a wild name BUT they're very cooperative and calm. This breed is very versatile and are meant for hunting–they're sense of smell is impressive and they're quite determined when it comes to hunting and retrieving any game.

Duke - Large Munsterlander:

Tim Tim Timothy, though high-class, I honestly thought at first that he'd be a Border Collie. However, as I was perusing dog breeds, I realized that the Collie was only representing half of him, as it didn't really match his looks or vibes, merely his personality. So I thought and thought and then–BAM, my brain gave me two choices, the Ibizan Hound or the Pharoah Hound. After figuring out that they were quite similar in personality, I decided to go with the Ibizan Hound. Funnily enough, they can be very attached but not prone to overtly showing it!

Tim - Ibizan Hound:

Now, Damian is a little trickier because I could fully see him taking after Bruce in having the same breed both bc they're blood related and just the vibes but, though I couldn't find much information on them, based on my personal experience with them I do think the Black Mouth Cur would be a good match up to Damian. They can be very territorial of people and things they think is theirs if not properly socialized. Otherwise they'll be very loving and protective of those they've deemed family and are built for hunting large game that are common around farms.

Damian - Black Mouth Cur:

And then here's some miscellaneous people

-Talia and Ra's I could see being Salukis

-Stephanie is perhaps a Portuguese Podengo, scrappy

-Barbara is a Redbone Coonhound all the way

-Roy is a Finish Spitzin my eyes

-Clark gives Dogo Argentino

-Diana feels like a Leonberger

-Oliver is possibly a Berger Picard

-Hal is definitely a Ridgeback, stubborn lol

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respectthepetty · 3 days ago

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At one of the nearby-ish universities, researchers can use the lab that attaches those little pads to people's heads and see their brains light up (the sign-up list is loooong), and I always think my brain would look like fireworks going off while I watch color-coded boys fall in love because once Black Brooder Yotha said that Green Guy Gun was his boyfriend to his Blue Boy brother and Gun's Blue Boy best friend in Perfect 10 Liners' sixteenth episode, I'm sure my brain stayed lit!

Even when I saw Yellow Yal Arm and Red Rascal Arc not in their colors, my brain wanted to shut off right here, but I think Arc's shirt has yellow highlight over the text (for his man), and every time I see that Manchester United poster, -I- see red from my rage, so I guess I'll make the colors happen with or without the show giving them to me.

But Sam makes up for it since he has consistently been a Red Rascal in the second portion of the show, always popping up to talk shit and bounce, and it appears Arm is wearing a light yellow, so my brain is, once again, lighting up!

However, I wish we would have gotten more of the other color-coded friends since we don't get enough Orange Oddities (Book) or Pink People (Franc) in BLs. But I know every story is going to have the Blue Boys (Kong AND FAIFA!!!!)

I won't be too mad at it though because, as I've mentioned every single week, this show's color coding is just so damn good, so my brain is always lighting up. Like these are the exact faces a jovial Green Guy and a mean Black Brooder would make. Perfect faces. Perfect colors. Perfect 10 Liners.

Even Faifa's rage is perfect!

Because even though Faifa's dark blue shirt is telling him to "Seize" the day and "Just trust yourself then you will know how to live," as a sign of the dark Blue Boy coming his way, he can't see his own happy ending when he is listening to Gun say stupid shit like "Love makes you tiny." I'd also be plotting murder if I was him.

COLOR-CODED BOYS IN LOVE ARE DISGUSTING(LY ADORABLE)!

Random: Someone at GMMTV likes puppy play because every single show has some aspect of it, so good for that person getting everything they wanted!

Because I got matching birthday ties! So Yotha got matching binary tattoos with Wa, but he has matching bracelets and ties with his current boyfriend cementing that Yotha is an emo who likes sentimental gifts.

Emo Black Brooders in love are the best!

I'm not going to get over that there was a whole ass Pink Person and Orange Oddity in this portion of Color-Coded Boys The Series, and I know minimal information about them.

But thank goodness I know everything about these two yin yang colored boys!

Because they are meant for each other. They are toxic AND in love!

They fight just so they can have make-up sex.

Good for those beautiful bastards!

That could never be these two color-coded boys though.

Gun doesn't understand anger or foregoing sleep in favor of sex unlike these other color-coded boys.

Good for him!

And the more light Blue Boy Faifa cries about not having someone, the more I scream that he is about to meet his match in dark Blue Boy Wine. Newton is going to hate BOTH his brothers.

Now Yotha and Gun are putting on matching pajamas just to take them off the way God and Arm intended.

Have I mentioned how happy my brain is about color-coded boys in love? Because I'm very happy about color-coded boys in love being there for each other when they have to deal with big emotions.

Even more so when they are color-coded brothers who yell at each other that "You're too pessimistic" and " You're too optimistic" since the colors only emphasize those points!

Newton remains neutral, the dad is blue, and the mom is pink. This is Heterosexuality 101, which is why Yotha and Faifa do not comprehend it.

Yes! Keep saying this Gun! Keep reminding me that the people who worked behind the scenes on this show deserve a raise! Keep saying you bring light to this Black Brooder's dark world!

Because your shirt will explicitly state it later ("Sunshine on my Mind")

All is right in the world. Everyone is in the color, and Yotha got jokes.

AND ARM AND ARC ARE FINALLY IN THEIR COLORS TOO!

Thank God for small miracles and color-coded boys in love.

NOW BRING ME MY LAPIS LADS!

#perfect 10 liners #color coded boys in love #the colors mean things #my brain is so happy #it always is when colors are involved #episode sixteen #this show's color coding is elite #and so is its shirt game #now bring me two boys who are the same color but different hues!#I'M SO EXCITED!

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iguessitsjustme · 14 hours ago

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When It Rains It Pours Ep 3 & 4 Thoughts

Listen. I am currently at work and not about to watch this show (for at least a few more hours) but I after deciding to wait to watch the next episode and sleeping on it, my little brain wheels started turning and I have some thoughts to get out about the first two episodes before I start the next one. So this time there is more than just a liveblog under the cut:

I wrote that and then immediately had to actually do work. Alas. Anygay

So I was thinking about why the relationship between our boy and his girlfriend felt off to me and I think I puzzled it out. She takes immaculate care of his nails. To the point that other people notice. But his nails are where her care starts and ends. He is initiating all of their conversations basically. She will engage with him but she won't start anything. Except the nail thing. It's why he wants her to be jealous. Because then he will have some sort of proof that she cares. Cause at this point it doesn't feel like she cares about him as a person. She cares about his nails and their appearance because if they look bad that is a poor reflection on her as a girlfriend. But his actual well being and how he feels? She's not present for it. Sure, she'll turn around before she leaves and asks for a hug, but it's so out of character and out of place that our boy doesn't even realize that's what she's asking for at first. He needs to communicate his needs with words, but he has definitely been indirectly communicating his needs and she's not paying attention. Or she is and she doesn't care. And she is not communicating anything either. Their beds have separated to the point there is a table between them. A clear indicator that what they had before is changed. It can easily be moved back to how it was but neither one of them is doing it. No one is even making an attempt. Who put that bedside table there? Because my bet is that it was her. A signal to him that something had changed, but she doesn't have the guts to actually say it. Or even to admit it to herself probably. Anyway I still think she's cheating.

And now I want to talk about Sei and his boyfriend (?). It seems like Sei has made an awful lot of compromises. Does Sei have any say in anything to do with that relationship? How much of himself has he given? Way too much. And I'm not saying his boyfriend (?) needs to compromise on having sex with him if that's not something he wants. But he can compromise on other things. That's what a relationship is. He gets jealous of Sei having someone else to talk to. But Sei can't be in the apartment because of an interviewer coming over. Sei is obviously a homebody but his boyfriend (?) seems to go out a lot. Does he ever make the time to stay home with Sei. Sei has proven he is willing to leave the apartment for his boyfriend (?). So why not invite him to something. Even if it's just the two of them. Why is Sei supposed to give up all of himself and have no control over anything at all?

Okay. That's a lot of words and I haven't even started episode 3. I didn't even mention the plastic umbrellas. Lord jesus.

OKAY. The fact that she TOLD him he has rice on his face instead of removing it for him. Something is not right. She doesn't love him. At least not any more. They don't have any sense of domesticity.

Oh so not boyfriends. Best friends. Okay that tracks. Except the jealousy thing. Also Sei has still given waaaayyyy too much of himself to this dude. He needs to be free to be himself. There's something there about being closeted.

I am watching. I am listening. I am learning. *hyper focuses on arms full of umbrellas*

Man I really wish I had the spoons to talk about the music in this show cause it is phenomenal. Someone remind me this weekend. That is if anyone wants that.

Something something framing. My brain is currently hibernating.

They are about to find out aren't they? God bless.

THEY BOTH EMAILED ABOUT THE STATUE. ARE THEY NOW GONNA LOOK AT EACH OTHER?

God bless.

Episode 4 time? Episode 4 time. (but only if this truck goes away it's shaking my whole apartment.)

Truck is gone. I am free. Episode 4 let me look at ya with my eyeballs

…have I mentioned that I haven't been getting much sleep lately?

Something something going down an escalator. He's going down. Towards hell? Making poor decisions cause he's gonna cheat on his girlfriend? Going to hell because he's going to learn about his attraction to men? And obviously gay people go to hell? I need a shot of those two together going up the escalator or I'm gonna scream.

Oh he's me. This is the literal exact thing I would say to my friend in this situation.

Okay I get it. I get it. I'm gonna be thinking about this scene for a while. The way Sei thought the messages as knew them were over. The way instead he was asked out to dinner. Because both of them need each other. They understand each other in a way no one has understood them before. They see themselves in each other. I'm fine. I'm totally and completely fine. Where are the umbrellas.

Oh the toe.

DID HIS FRIEND DESIGN THE CARD HOLDER? IS THAT WHAT THE SOMETHING IS. Or one of the somethings. Everything is connected.

"When he shows his masculine side it kills the mood" girl WHAT. Are you even attracted to him? Do you even like men? Girl. Be so fucking for real right now.

So I hate both of their partners. The girlfriend and the best friend. They are both keeping these two trapped and I HATE it.

Should I watch episode 5? *looks at the time*

#when it rains it pours #futtara doshaburi #rae liveblogs #rae liveblogs when it rains it pours

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twistedpink · 17 hours ago

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Okay okay...

Hear me out on my Leona brain rot. I need to tell somebody and I'm biting the bars of my cage.

(warning for Leona's mouth lol)

Leona being so upset over his girlfriend not thinking she could pull him. Like, he doesn't care at first (why care if she will leave eventually, right? He's second best in every regard, right?😭😭😭), but then as they date and he realizes she's serious about him, his mangy ass starts moving to repay the devotion she shows him! Let it be said Leona always takes care of his people, even if it's a bit... Unorthodox. His dorm members are loyal for a reason after all...

His sister-in-law would skin him alive if he didn't too, not to mention the Sunset's culture was never let another leave you in their debt. He's just repaying a favor....

Leona is left frustrated and baffled by your view of him. He's that valuable to you? He's all that? Him? Cue ego boost and a smirk to rival Scar himself. He knew he was handsome (Vils jabs were a regular occurrence), but to hear you don't think you're worthy of being his lover? F*ck that.

One, his pride is now on the line with your self deprecating talk. How dare his lover doubt her physical ability to attract him. If it's about that he's far smarter or stronger or anything, he's shutting that crap down. Consider yourself his new favorite chess piece he has to maneuver to his side of the board. Don't worry little lioness... He'll change your mind.

Leona working his ass off to prove you wrong. You need something, he's buying it. He has cash to burn so let him spend it on making you feel good to stand at his side. Can you see how gorgeous you are now little lioness? No? Fine. His dorm hasn't seen him this focused ever, unless it's Magic shift. The competitive need to win your mind over making him salivate at the thought of claiming victory. He would win, needed to win.

He'll grumble out a few words of desire as he pins you to the bed beneath him. Tail twitching in agitation as you flatter him with all sincerity, he's supposed to be changing your mind, not falling deeper into your sweet lips. Little lioness please, pleeeeassssseee, don't think he's using you. Yeah he's known for just that, but he'd never dare to put you on the level of those herbivores. Not you. Not when he needs you to believe him and read between his mouthy banter to see that desperation he has for you. Can't you see it, little lioness? This fear you have is stupid, and he says so.

Not you writing better than me on MY cellular device,,

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solacescastleglow · 2 days ago

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You're Not Lazy, You're: A Daydreamer

So, you're addicted to daydreaming, to the point where you're putting aside important real life things in favour of talking to yourself. You're sitting there, watching life pass you by, desperately trying to fill the void with people you made up in your head. Your outer life is starting to look less and less like how you thought it would be, and the worst part is, there's nothing and no one to blame.

I've been there. In fact, when I was 12, it was so bad I literally didn't care at all about my family, I had no friends, and my grades were abysmal, but I was convinced I would be fine because 'at least I have my mind'. What I didn't realise was that I had lost control of even that. Now I still daydream, but I've become much more able to cope, and I can work around it to the point it no longer affects my day-to-day life. What was maladaptive daydreaming has become immersive daydreaming. If you're in the same situation, here are a few tips to get out of that hole for good.

(Remember, this is much easier said than done, so don't feel bad if this doesn't start helping right away. Also, this is not a substitute for therapy.)

Less daydreaming

1. Eliminating the need

I'm gonna be honest, this is the hardest part. Your daydreaming came about for a reason; it's kept you alive and safe for all this time. Daydreaming is a coping mechanism. The problem comes when it becomes your only or primary coping mechanism, and your comfort zone becomes so small that you're using it all the time. Start with the negative things in your life that caused you to start daydreaming. What are they? How can they be mitigated or resolved? What are some other coping tools you can use to get through them? For me, a big part of the reason was unchangeable (untreatable illness), but some of it could have something done about it. I started medication for my mental health, switched schools, went to therapy. Am I cured? No. Did it take a long time? Yes. But was it worth it? Absolutely.

2. Attention span and comfort zone work

Now that your negative situation is ameliorated, it's time to work on getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. When you don't daydream after a certain amount of time or coming across a trigger, you start to get restless and irritable. You're, unfortunately, just going to have to sit in that emotion for a little bit. Just 5 minutes. If the trigger is media or a conversation topic, try your absolute hardest not to let your mind wander. After that 5 minutes or when the conversation is over, you can excuse yourself to go daydream. Doing this repeatedly will slowly make your brain able to go longer between daydreaming sessions, which means you can function better in your outer life.

3. Don't limit daydreaming, expand your outer life

If you're anything like me, the thought of stopping completely makes you panic. This isn't a great sign overall, but if you feel terrible whenever you don't escape, it disincentivises you from living your life. Instead, start surrounding yourself with people: spending every evening with your housemates, having an accountability partner for work, going on walks in public. The self consciousness alone is usually enough for me to not daydream, so basically I'm just giving myself less time to drift off. Bonus points if it's an activity that gets you where you want or need to go.

4. Grounding

I know, I know. It's uncomfortable when you know that's what you're doing. I personally hate the 54321 method. But you know what does work for me? This one TikTok (I can't find it) where the lady in the video tells you to look at the corner of the screen and tell what time it is, then asks questions like 'what's to the left of the screen?' and 'what are you wearing?' That snaps me right back to the present. The moment you notice yourself drifting off, look at a clock. Then look down at what you're wearing. Then take a second to describe what you're seeing to yourself and do some kind of tactile stimulation (rubbing your hands together or tapping your lap, for example).

More doing

1. Life direction audit

Your daydreams are clues to what you want out of life. Use them to guide how you want your outer life to go:

How does daydreaming make you feel? How can you emulate that without daydreaming?

Related to your daydream self's career, how does it make you feel to think of yourself getting paid to do that in your outer life? What steps can you take to get yourself there, or closer to it?

What can you do to cultivate friendships that are meaningful to you on the same level as your daydream friends? If you have outer friends, what's the most realistic scenario that would play out if you said, "I need more (support/connection/in-person time) out of this relationship"?

Are there any significant personal differences between your daydream self and your outer self? Are you a different gender, do you have a different style of dress, do you have any skills or hobbies you don't actually have? Is there anything that you would do, if only you had the [time/money/energy/certainty that this is the right thing to do/ability to get through hard things]?

Based on what you've written down, make a 10 year plan, then from that a 5 year plan, then from that a 1 year plan. Once you have your yearly plan you have options: split it up into quarters, months, weeks, or some other way. Either way, eventually you'll want to get it down to what you can do on a daily or even hourly basis to make your daydream self your reality.

2. Do it daydreaming, but do it

Now, do it. Sounds way easier than it is, but when I say do it, I mean do it any way you can. Do it upset, complaining, bored, frustrated, scared, badly, adapted to fit your abilities, in a way other people think is weird, crying the whole time, late, embarrassed, inconsistently, from your bed. Do it partway, then decide you want something else out of life. Do it when it's easy, and if you really want it, do it when it's hardest. Do something similar to it if what you want is unattainable. You can even do it with one foot in your daydream world.

As long as you're trying to do what makes you happy (and I mean the real kind of happy, not the kind that's always tinged with the grief that it's all in your head), any amount of effort you put into it is worthwhile.

3. Incentives

I was going to say to follow your plan and not your mood, but that's really hard. What you need is to find a way to make yourself follow that plan happily. For me, that's setting difficult monthly challenges for myself and getting rewards if I complete them. The challenge makes me want to do it because I want to prove my inner critic wrong. Do whatever works for you, because even if it sounds silly, it's not silly if it works.

4. Check ins

Every so often, re-evaluate where you're going. I know I just said to do it bored and frustrated, but if the whole thing is boring and frustrating and there are no upsides, don't keep at it. Check that you're actually happy with the direction your life is going.

---

And that's all I have for you. Remember, daydreaming can still be a healthy part of your life, it's the inability to stop it that's the problem. You can learn to balance it. I believe in you.

#you're not lazy #maladaptive daydreaming #actually maladaptive #maladaptive daydreamer #madd #actually madd #productivity #that girl #it girl #girlblogging #hell is a teenage girl #girl rotting #bed rotting #op

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krystella-shifts · 2 days ago

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All things˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌟₊˚ʚ 🌸 ₊˚ Visualisation˚˖𓍢ִ໋₊˚ʚ₊˚

Visualisation whether you're using it for shifting , manifesting, or to distract yourself while inducing the void state. It doesn't matter if you're manifesting LOVE, MONEY, FAME. or wtv This post will help ya

This will make visualisation much more effortless and fun instead of stressful and forceful

Struggling with visualisation? Here's why:

If you're the perfectionist type of person, you're probably overthinking it, trying to make it perfect, "this exactly greenish-blue curtain with white flowers pattern is spread 57% beside my window", visualising EVERY detail, like your subconscious will get it wrong if you don't or something. is someone holding a gun to your head 😭 like calm down, You're supposed to relax, let yourself, your mind freely play around with it! YOUR MIND KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. Trust yourself.

When you let your mind be free, let it play around you might even get ideas and clarity! For example, like when I let my mind wander I got a better idea of how I want one of my DR bedroom to be, i didn't thought about curtains and plants but my mind suddenly showed my the image and it was SO PERFECT AJAJSH like yes bish that's exactly what I want! So I got this idea because I wasn't forcing anything, any picture. So your mind knows even better.

⟡☾How to make your visualization better☽⟡

So, you’re trying to visualize your dream life, but the image keeps going blurry like a bad WiFi connection? Don’t worry, bestie I got you. 😔💅🏻 Here’s how to level up your visualization game so your manifestations hit different.

• Details?

It's definitely better to visualise in details like for shifting, the colour of the walls, the feel of the sheets. and for manifesting, if you're manifesting df let's say, visualising looking in the mirror, your lips shape, etc. But you don't have to cuz there's no right or wrong way. You should do what works for you the best. Don't put pressure on yourself.

If someone has trouble seeing the image with details, it's okay to not worry about the details, you can use other senses, like how it feels, smells. That brings me to our next pointtt

• Engage all your senses (Because Your Brain is Dramatic Like That)

If you can’t see the image clearly, FEEL it, get THE FEELS. Hear it. Smell it. Taste it (only if applicable, pls🫢😭).

Don’t just see it—feel the emotions, hear the sounds, smell the scents, and touch the textures, that it feels SUPER real.

Example: If manifesting money, imagine holding crisp bills, hearing them rustle, and feeling the excitement. (I can smell it rn 😤💸 all this bread so yummy yeah)

• Can't hold the image?

use motion not just still images. (cuz I wanna see it in 3d, in motion), It used to happen to me too, i picture something and it start to fade or get blurry. But in that case i realised it's easier to hold it if it's a moving scene, like a scenario. Instead of holding a still image, visualise a small scene. Static images fade, but movement keeps them alive. Movement makes it real. ✨

• Embody the Feeling NOW

Don’t just think about it—feel like it’s already yours. (Spoiler alert: it is). 🥚🥚ample, If u r manifesting confidence, being a pretty little risky baddie, visualize yourself walking tall, speaking smoothly, and radiating certainty. 🤌🏻✨

• Repeat & Reinforce

Wonder why sats work so well? Visualization is most effective when done consistently. Try visualizing for a few minutes every morning or before bed when your mind is most receptive. so like my girl says it, DON'T STOP AND JUST REPLAY, REPLAY-AY - iykyk,iyk,lmk cuz Lee know >:)

I feel i ATE with this one. I hope this helps you pookie!!~ (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ lmk and remember ALL THE GIRLS ARE GIRLING GIRLING (the amount of kpop refrences in this post MUHAHAH) if you get all the references ily

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fiveredlights · 3 days ago

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Loved it!!!! Is there any Benjamin POV of when he found out Max and Daniel were drivers in this world? Like any thought process? It surprised me too that they weren't in his world haha. Thanks for sharing!

okay i managed 400 words of benjamin arriving in the universe and then my brain continued on its holiday in aruba so i’ve written out what would’ve happened afterwards

It's not like Benjamin expected there to be a whole parade when he landed into his DAUD universe, but a room full of people staring at him like he's an alien from another planet feels a little weird.

Technically, he is an alien from outer space—if you equate an alien to a life form, and the other planet is true, but at that point they should consider that we’re all aliens in a planet floating around the universe and there’s no need to stare at him like that.

Or really, they aren’t staring at him. They’re staring at the name emblazoned into his race suit. Or the flag. Maybe they’re struggling to understand why the Dutch and Australian flags are mashed together.

Benjamin worked really hard to get the team and the FIA to approve that. He had to do a whole presentation.

One of the people—his boss he assumes, given that he’s one of the two people to be wearing RB shirts—takes a slow step forward, adjusting the black rounded frames on his face.

“Benjamin—” Ooh, French, “—Ricciardo-Verstappen,” he states, though it’s really more like a question.

“Yeah.” He steps out of the portal tube. “Did I get sent to the wrong universe or?”

“Maybe,” someone in a Red Bull shirt quietly mutters and the other RB shirt guy hits him in the shoulder and scolds, “Christian.”

He has no idea who this Christian guy is but he knows he already doesn’t like him. Giving off bad energy, or whatever Julian uses as an excuse whenever he meets someone he doesn’t like.

“I’m Laurent Mekies, I’m your team principal,” the French—Laurent says. “Can we just confirm who your parents are?”

Everyone in the room seems to lean in and hold their breath. Benjamin thinks they’re all really weird. “Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen. They live in Monaco, or well in my universe they live in Monaco, so maybe they’re in the Netherlands or Australia here.”

Laurent immediately spins onto his heels and they all form some sort of emotional support huddle, like they’re the ones who got sent through to another universe.

“I’ll get Max,” Christian sighs and points a finger at Laurent. “You’re calling Daniel.”

Laurent tenses. “I don’t want to call Daniel. Why can’t you call Daniel? You knew him longer?”

Christian goes very quiet. “I think he’s blocked my number,” he says with no room for further questions as he walks out of the room.

—

benjamin has found a wheely chair to spin around the room in whilst laurent peter and helmut (idk if he's here) debate on who is calling daniel, benjamin's like "I can call Daniel if you don't want to break the news," and frankly it's a bit concerning how three of these very grown men look very ready to take this offer.

eventually someone is like, you know what. we'll get MAX to call him. daniel will answer max's calls and they leave benjamin in the room with laurent whilst the rest of them look in the mirror and wonder what they need to do to atone for this hell-ish situation they've been placed in.

(there is no atonement possible. you must live in the decisions you made. no amount of apologies or prayers will be able to heal the deep, deep scars you have given. zero love and zero light will be given.)

“So Max works here or?” benjamin asks, if only to make small talk so they’re not sitting in silence. laurent takes a very long look, he's confused. he tells him that of course Max works here, he's a driver?? but reigns it in because maybe benjamin was asking if max was at some different RBR factory. or maybe he's asking because he thinks max is in monaco, laurent doesn't possess the brain cells needed right now.

benjamin is thinking oh maybe max's a sim driver. or a test driver. he knows that max's father was a f1 driver, but doesn't really know much else. nowhere in benjamin's brain is the thought that max is a formula 1 driver, and certainly nowhere in benjamin's brain is the thought that he's a 4x WDC.

max walks in, looks at benjamin. benjamin looks back. max walks out.

he walks in again. looks at benjamin again. walks out again.

he walks in again. is about to walk out when benjamin's like, "You know walking out for the third time doesn't activate me being sent back to my universe?"

(internally, max is like, oh my god. he talks exactly like daniel. i'm looking at another daniel. which you know. a little bit insane given that i wrote benjamin to look like max, and benjamin wouldn't really sound like daniel accent wise at least, given that they raised the kids in monaco, but you know. maybe the speech patterns are similar, who the fuck knows. easier to see the parts of the person you love than yourself in your kid. can't blame him, daniel did the exact same thing for like the whole fic.)

max immediately looks around at the whole group of people and does a head nod for benjamin to follow him into his office, and it’s probably not until he sees the replica WDC trophy sitting on a bookcase with max’s name inscribed on it benjamin’s like what the fuck…

in his head benjamin is like, i am hiding the fact that i am shocked about max being a driver so well. he’s not. he’s kinda just staring at the trophy but max is way too distracted about the fact that alternate him had a kid (emphasis on kid, singular) with daniel.

benjamin is stalking around the room looking at EVERYTHING, and he catches the photo of max and daniel in malaysia 2016 and is even more like what the fuck… BOTH of my parents are drivers?????

first thought: they’re both horrible normal road car drivers. maybe it makes sense now.

second thought: god it’s so cool that his parents (or this version of his parents) are formula 1 drivers. that’s like so arguably cool. suck it julian, he KNEW doing the DAUD program was a good thing.

third thought: do they know sebastian vettel.

in this moment he has decided that this max and daniel cannot know that his max and daniel aren’t drivers. he kinda suspects that max might be going through a quick existential crisis and he’s not making it bigger by telling 4x WDC max that his max is a 0x WDC and has never driven a f1 car in his life.

(also it has not crossed his mind that this max and daniel are not together. if you saw that photo of malaysia with max looking at daniel doing the shoey like he wants to jump his bones in public, yeah i wouldn’t question it either and end that line of thought immediately.)

i’m learning very quickly that benjamin processes things so quickly that he doesn’t really have time to freak out.

max is processing everything and benjamin is like “are you gonna call dad or?? where is he??”

max: dad?

benjamin: yeah. dad. daniel. this tall. your husband. or partner idk i don’t know, i’m not gonna assume. oh god are you guys broken up here please don’t tell me that. i mean like tell me, but like that’s so weird.

max kinda looks embarrassed and benjamin clocks him so quickly.

benjamin: oh. you two aren’t together here. you two have never been together here.

max: … yeah

benjamin is immediately like fuck everything about them being drivers what do you MEAN they aren’t together???? he looks at the malaysia photo again. looks at max again.

benjamin then decided his only goal is to parent trap his parents. which i think he did achieve. good job dude.

#The DAUD #five answers #i have a note somewhere that benjamin’s theme song is the coconut mall track from mario kart and that explains everything about him

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max1461 · 2 days ago

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Feel like I'm getting worse every day. Pretty certain at this point my TLE is not the main issue; I think I already had it and just caught it because this is the first time in my life I've ever seen a neurologist. Don't think these meds I'm taking are doing jack shit for me. Like I said, markedly worse every day. And I also realize every day that I have more and more physical symptoms, like a bunch of the shit I though was seizures early on it's now very obvious that it was nerve pain. Uh I guess the meds have helped with the nerve pain, which my doctor told me early on they would because they also prescribe anti-consultants for that. Anyway nerve pain is a little better, 90% of what I thought were seizure symptoms are now obvious as terrible nerve pain symptoms (worse versions of shit I'm still having, and the shit now is clearly not a seizure). But like, but like, confusion or whatever is worse. Or like it's just building up, because I've been confused for so long. I think transgender was right, she said maybe my brain is all messed up things have to take the olfactory root, and my olfactory shit is messed up by the nerve shit so my shit isn't working. That's honestly the hypothesis that feels most uh, like ties together all my weird random symptoms the best. When I have certain thoughts I can like FEEL something trying... happen, in the big numb area in the middle of my face/jaw/head. And then it doesn't happen, and the thought doesn't work right. And that's like EVERY FUCKING THOUGHT. Feel like shit

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anartisticalniche · 2 days ago

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Glass Barrier-Lockdown Protocol AU

This fic is based on this art right here: https://www.tumblr.com/anartisticalniche/775015960570675200/there-was-always-a-thin-glass-separating-us?source=share

Enjoy this sad thing lol

“Inmate G-5683, you have visitors.”

The bearded man barely moved his head from his side as he sighed and got up from his bed.

He was sick and tired of relying informations to SMG1 and 2.

It's time they got their shit together and caught his ex-boss.

He's got nothing else to say to them anyways.

He might have been an elite guard but that didn't mean he got to see him up close; not even his superior Wren did.

The guard bots used their laser chains to hold onto his cuffs and neck restraint, guiding him like a dog.

His eye bags were deep and visible, no light in his eyes aside from the luminescent one from the chain.

The swift sound from the door sounded off as his gaze remained on the floor.

He was led to his usual spot, seated in front of the protective glass dividing him from anything that basically was freedom on the outside.

He sighed, preparing for the questions.

“Three…?”

His red eyes took a second but eventually widened when he glanced up and saw the softest gaze on the most beautiful face he had ever seen in his life.

“Hey… how are you holding up?”

Tears threatened to escape from blue eyes across him.

The imprisoned man opened his mouth like a fish.

Eventually words left him: “What… what are you doing here?”

Four smiled as he tipped his head to the side: “Can’t I come visit you?”

“You legally can't yeah-” he said he looked at him with wide eyes; “you have to stay a hundred miles away from me according to the court-”

He huffed and rolled his eyes: “I guess time doesn't matter much to you when you're in your cell. Three years have already passed. That thing they said doesn't apply anymore”.

The scientist said it so casually but to the prisoner it felt like another nail dipping into his skin. Just to let him know that he's staying there forever… to the point time doesn't matter anymore.

Four immediately realized his mistake when he saw his face: “Ah shoot wait I didn't mean it like that- I'm just- I said it because now I can come see you! Isn't that great?”

He was trying to lighten up the mood, but there was no way it could work.

“Yeah… great.”

The raven's eyes clouded with sadness, but he was still hopeful.

“I've missed you…”

Three glanced back up: god how the hell was he still allowed to make puppy eyes like that- it will always make his stomach flip and heart race…

“Yeah? You've missed the one person that was sent to kill you?”

He said it so bitterly and he didn't know why he even said it why the hell did open his mouth-

But the response he got was as calm as ever.

“Yeah… maybe I'm wrong to feel this way, but I've forgiven you Three. You know that.”

Four’s eyes were watering and god was it contagious to see him like that.

Three inhaled…

“I’ve… I’ve missed you too.”

They shared bittersweet smiles, until Four snapped out of it and said: “Okay, I wanna tell you what we've been up to! Me, Mario and Meggy found a job with the intergalactic police! We are helping 1 and 2 find that bitch that wanted us dead! Isn't that great?!”

Three’s brain short circuited.

He growled in anger.

“Why the fuck are you doing that?! You're gonna get yourself killed!”

Four smiled confidently: “Nuh-huh! I'm a smart guy, remember? My wits are what is keeping me alive eheh!”

He groaned at his dumbassery.

For a scientist, this man was anything but realistic-

But that was what made him fall in love with him, wasn't it.

His never ending need to dream, to be positive if not a little reckless.

He wanted to hold him.

To strangle him and hug him at the same time.

He was so FRUSTRATING-

“You PROMISE ME. Nothing is going to happen to you. Okay?”

“Aw you care about me…” he said, his eyes having that flirtatious glint he had back in the ship.

Goddamnit.

Three let his head fall on the tiny desk.

“Just promise you moron-”

“But of course! Me and the squad make the best trio ever in the police department! With my wits and the siblings' destructive methods, we are bound to catch him!”

Three found that super hard to believe.

It was a miracle Mario didn't blow up the ship back before Wren could.

“After all, gotta make it before you come out of here, no?”

He glanced back up to him, his sure gaze still staring at him.

He was still convinced he was gonna be let out.

Despite KNOWING his crimes.

Despite… despite being sent to kill him…

He was not naive. Sure he was dumb sometimes, but he knew… he knew how the system worked.

Yet he still chose to dream.

He could cry for real right now.

“Yeah… when I get out.”

The scientist smiled softly, his gloved hand coming up the glass.

“And when you do… I wanna feel your hand against mine, okay? Nothing separating us anymore, not even layers of fabric.”

Red eyes glistened.

The cuffed hand itching upwards too, spreading against his own on the other side.

“I can't wait…”

“Time’s up.”

The robotic voice shattered the atmosphere as harsh reality settled in.

Three got yanked back, both bots on each side of him dragging him upwards.

The scientist’s smile strained but he tried to keep it on his face as he called back to him.

“THREE! REMEMBER, I LOVE YOU! NEVER FORGET THAT!”

He saw a glimpse of his messy bearded face glancing back at him before the door closed up, leaving him alone in the room as another security bot gently handled him to be escorted outside of the meeting room.

The walk back to his small reconnaissance ship was a breeze, and automatically he seated in his pilot post and started it up, exiting the prison’s hangar.

Once a few miles away, in the dark cosmos, a drop of water followed by many others descended on his control column and jacket.

Four didn’t even know when he started crying, but he couldn't stop, and despite telling himself to take back control of his emotions so that he wouldn't risk crashing somewhere because he couldn't see, he couldn't stop the hiccuping and tears.

And so he kept letting himself go, not knowing that back in the prison, the one he came to see was doing the same thing, leaning crouched on his side against the wall near his bed, letting out wails of despair and ache without stopping.

#smg4 #smg3 #smg34 #my fic #my art #lockdown protocol au

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marzipanilla · 3 days ago

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Sometimes you just have to be a lil shit about a piece of media you enjoy in a loving way lol dumpster fire (affectionate)

Been watching OSP stuff again 'cause I was talking about one of their Superman vids and how they mention Invincible in it, and just that some of the ideas of the Superman concept really should come back around for the Mark narrative but they are def going farther and farther as things progress from what could have been an interesting Superman-esque origin in Mark. And like, do your thing, but it was clearly a reference at the start, so... why NOT lean more into it?

I know I've seen chunks of BTAS and Batman Beyond, but it's all so blurry in my brain from so long ago. I remember enjoying the shit out of them! It's why I'm having a treat with Justice Leauge rn. Bc it's like, have I see this before? maybe? at some point? Like I have the vaguest recollection of the opening credits. Zero memory of Martian Manhunter (J'onn J'onnz ?? the fuck ?? lol) having so many abilities. like damn bro. you cool asf! The very simple visual worldbuilding of all Martians being nakey bc THEY'RE SHAPESHIFTERS WHY WOULDN'T THEY BE loved it

Lazy shipping. And like.. just horny shipping. Like okay, I can be down for a UST narrative, but if you want me to buy these people have more than a case of the Horny for each other, they need to be able to describe something about each other they actually like. (I also have a whole ass rant about the Gift Of Jewelry in media -eyetwtich-) And Mark and Eve are constantly in interesting situations actually dealing with ethical shit and they could have spent so much time talking about Chicago and what cleaning up there would have meant to them, and how they operate as heroes sort of outside the establish groups for whatever reason, and they could have very naturally gravitated to each other! It really is a HS crush in this iteration !! bc the moment Mark looked at her he was just like ! oh ! hero is cute girl ! and then.. had a very intense relationship with someone else and then immediately turned around and was presented with this one. It has technically been months in the time span of the narrative, but the fact it was all shoved in and carried off RIGHT ON THE BACK of his very intense break up with Amber just feels awful. Let the boy breathe jfc.

So many people are talking about Mark supposedly improving but still not improving and it HURTS bc yeah. The narrative is really just like ACTUALLY- and it's so frustrating bc, your character can improve and the situation can still be deadly! Doc Seismic doesn't need some stupid line about things changing! They DIDN'T he's still an old man with bracelets. They just STAYED FLOATING IN THE AIR and waited for his back up to arrive and then pointlessly got into fist fights with the monsters instead of immediately going to rescue the other heroes. I can get Mark sort of zeroing in on the fighting bc he doesn't really work with other people that much, but Eve ??? why the hell isn't saving the others your priority?? The fight could still have played out badly without them needing to be stupid! Mark having to protect Eve while she works ! Them having to be on the back foot so that the people in the sack things don't get squished while they work ! You don't have to be dumb to fail. And so far it really feels like everyone is acting SO STUPID and they HAVE To fail bc it's so hard when it's like ?? the same ppl you've been fighting ?? since day one ?? Is Killcannon gunna show up and shoot you through a building now ?? I'm sorry??

We really need a Debbie/Nolan flashback that's about their dynamic and NOT their dynamic as parents. Like what was your vibe as a couple!! Love that you're horny for each other, but why did you fall in love??? Of course I am also just like CAN I PLEASE GET ONE DEBBIE FACT THAT ISN'T ABOUT THE MEN IN HER LIFE. Also, pretty sure anytime she has been around Paul the convo is in some way, actually still about Nolan and it's WILD bc damn is it really moving on if he's present in Every conversation??

Invincible (derogatory) Invincible (affectionate) depends on the time of day.

Like there's no way Cecil ISN'T using it to his benefit! But him actually caring somewhat, even knowing he would STILL betray and sacrifice the kid in a heartbeat. just. yeah. Mentor Cecil/quasi father Cecil. might happen.

The several convos we've had about trusting Cecil are SO WEIRD bc literally anytime Debbie has talked to him she has been like I DO NOT TRUST YOU and then five seconds later she's all That Bitch Lied : / and it's like ??? yes ?? you said he would ?? five seconds ago ??? why are you surprised ???

FR you don't get history classes about colonialism and police states but WE WILL make you watch teletubbies and learn about the magic of friendship! Killing is BAD kids ! Don't do it ! (unless the GDA tells you to)

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

#invincible chatter #love how we've got these going AND STILL added more w the AO3 threads now lmao #endless fractals of worldbuilding and smack talk (affectionate)

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iguessitsjustme · 13 hours ago

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When It Rains It Pours Ep 5 Thoughts

I looked at the time and decided that not only was it not too late for me to watch the next episode, but it is in fact time to keep watching. I don't know how long this one will be but my god I hope those two escape their relationships/situationships soon. I can't keep watching my boys get hurt like this. Under the cut:

Okay I looked at the episode summary simply to learn his name. Kazuaki. I got it. And if I don't got it, that's fine. Because I just wrote it and I can always look. Perfect. Go me.

The fact that they are meeting halfway. That is a compromise. That is how relationships work. The fact that they cared to listen to the other and then decided on the compromise. My god these two are already so much better together than they are with their partners (I know he's not really Sei's partner but you know what I mean) and they haven't even gotten together yet.

Are these two gonna fuck?

Currently the opening song which slaps, but if you stick around to the end of the liveblog, I will share extra thoughts tonight. Cause I am pissed at certain characters and their fuckery and I gotta get my rants out of my system.

The TOE.

The gentle caress vs the man that pushed on it to see if it would hurt. The man that was so gentle and held it like it was a fragile thing in case it caused pain vs the man that tried to cause pain. So I'm killing the best friend, yeah?

There is a whole discussion before they actually have sex. Kazuaki is asking if it's okay to do things or not say certain things before actually getting started? He might be cheating right now but honestly, green flag. And also she deserves it. Not that anyone deserves it. But she's fictional and a bastard so she deserves it.

Telling him that he's not bad or dirty? Oh my heart. Oh my HEART.

I'm FINE.

I'm looking you dead in the eye and telling you I'm fine. It's not my fault if you don't believe me.

I NEED to talk about the music in this scene but I cannot because work has smoothed out all the wrinkles from my brain and I need to wrinkle it up again but I NEED to talk about it.

I think that's the first time I've seen Sei smile.

But also these two. They found themselves in each other. They found a piece of themselves in each other. They both knew they were missing sex but I don't think they knew how miserable they were having no one to talk to. Not truly talk to. The deep meaningful talks that connect us and bond us. Neither one of them had that with their partners. They had superficial conversations. Moments of wanting to say something but not being able to. But they found the connection they were missing in each other and I am FINE don't LOOK at me like that.

God I need to talk about the music when Sei goes home too cause my god talk about tone shift. When that bastard is on the screen the dissonance in the music is actually difficult for me to listen to. Oh it hurts my poor little fragile ears.

Do these two need to hurt me like this? Do I not suffer enough already?

Oh she looked at his phone. Good riddance. She doesn't deserve him anyway.

WHY IS THAT BASTARD ANSWERING NOT HIS PHONE. BITE BITE CHOMP CHOMP KILLING HIM WITH LASER BEAMS.

Oh so you all made me watch this and now I have to WAIT. You all wanted me to SUFFER. Biting you all too (but affectionately).

Anyway rant time.

I hate the girlfriend because was she expecting to keep our boy in limbo for the rest of all time? She wants a marriage and kids but she doesn't want to actually ever talk to her partner? She sees him as future husband and future sperm bank. But she doesn't see him.

And don't even get me started on the rat bastard "best friend." Does Sei not have a Line because he doesn't want a Line or because his friend doesn't want him to have one. How alienated is Sei from the world and from others? He doesn't really talk to anyone at work which would be his one place he can talk to people. What would have happened if that wrong email address thing hadn't happened? Why does Sei feel like a parasite in a place that should feel like his home? I have lived with my best friend before and I can tell you one thing for sure. I never felt like a parasite. The reason that place felt like home was because it was both of us. Everywhere. WHERE is Sei in that apartment? Where is he? What are his interests? What are his aesthetics? Where is my boy????

And most importantly. WHERE IS THAT GORGEOUS UMBRELLA THEY USE AS THE THUMBNAIL AND WHERE CAN I GET ONE.

I have thoughts. Many thoughts. It will take me roughly two business days to process those thoughts. Just in time for the next episode I'm told. Which will then mean that it will take me another two business days. What did they put in this show for it to do this to my brain?

I should go to bed. Maybe I will wake up with coherent thoughts. Who knows.

Also this may or may not be the last liveblog I do now that I'm caught up. We'll see how I'm feeling on..Thursday? That's the next episode right? If I don't do another liveblog, then thank y'all for reading my silly little brain thoughts. And if I do keep liveblogging then I'll see you on Thursday.

#when it rains it pours #futtara doshaburi #rae liveblogs #rae liveblogs when it rains it pours #look at that a two for one special for yall tonight

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vargaslovinghours · 10 months ago

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And never let you go ♥

Bonus without the overspill lighting:

#💟#Digital art #Full Art #Art #Edgar #Scriabin #It's that time of year again where I get real sappy about Vargas ♥ Because yes! Once again it is my own personal Vargasversary! 🎊 Yaaaay #Seven years now - I don't know what to do with seven years it feels like a hard to define number haha #Right in the middle between five years and ten years! A while to be certain but hard to define as a Long Time either hmm #Well whatever it doesn't matter <3 The important part is that I still love Vargas and them very much ♥♪#I actually didn't really have any specific plans for this Vargasversary :0 I haven't been drawing them much again #Other things have drawn my focus and attention hehe ♪#So I just kinda set my hand loose - no sketches on paper no defined idea - this is just what my hand/brain came up with in the moment #I'm pleased :) I think it accurately expresses how I feel about them hehe <3 #I wrote down what ended up being the text/caption a couple months ago while I was in Big Love in their direction #I don't remember what inspired it anymore other than just - They ♥ Themst ♥ Do love them <3 #I've planned my next reread now ♪ Barring anything drastic (like an update lol) I know when I'll be rereading next #I'm looking forward to it! :D As always hehe <3 #It's still a bit a ways off which works well for recharging :)#And of course I'll be doing my usual in the meanwhile - this and the main anniversary and my sketchdumps and Requestober haha #The caption is as much me as it is Edgar after all <3 #Even quiet and sleeping I still find them as a comfort - a place I find rest and joy in ♥#Inspiring and lovely and wonderful - pretty and tender and dear!#Oh and #Always finding a way to flip up the bottom of the shirt #Hehe <3

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ruvviks · 1 month ago

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// oc deep dive.

tagged by; @aztarion and @devilbrakers, thank you so much!!

tagging; @mojaves, @deadrlngers, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @adelaidedrubman and YOU!

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

Nathan has a lot of fears stemming from his paranoia. Tangible ones such as getting captured or killed by MOBIUS, his friends walking away from him, or someone following him home; as well as more unrealistic ones, such as somehow ending up back in STEM, or getting stuck in a time loop, or a giant sinkhole all the way to the core of the earth opening up right at his feet.

It also happens often enough that certain actions don’t necessarily scare him, but make him uncomfortable or highly on edge (often with good reason); think of someone locking the door of the room he’s in– especially when it’s just them two– or getting too close without warning. He often fears people he gets too close to will end up treating him like the Administrator did, which is why it takes a while for him to let Sebastian get any closer physically, despite warming up to him relatively fast.

A more uncommon fear he has is waking up one morning and having lost one of his senses or his ability to speak. Aside from the mental erosion that had become a growing issue among Union citizens, MOBIUS observed a similar kind of process in its agents who regularly jumped in and out of STEM for general maintenance and the like– presumably caused by the constant changes in brain activity, which more than often led to exactly what Nathan’s fear mentioned above describes. While he was among the agents who worked both in and outside of STEM on the Union environment, he was lucky enough to never suffer the consequences.

Lastly, he is deadly afraid of Anima. Despite not having shown any other symptom of succumbing to the STEM domination process, Nathan would have started seeing her around sometime before Lily vanished– presumably got her attention after some of his escapades in the secret labs in the Marrow– and he has not been able to sleep soundly in STEM ever since. While his fear of her mostly acts up when he’s in a STEM environment, it definitely translates over to the real world as well; during bad mental health episodes he has auditory hallucinations of her, and she makes regular appearances in his nightmares too.

Do they have any pet peeves?

When people are too passive. Nathan can’t stand it when he’s expected to initiate everything, from conversations to taking action, both in a work context (scheduling meetings, deploying new code) as well as personal context (scheduling to hang out, doing household chores). He also doesn’t like having to constantly ask people to do what they’re supposed to do– though this irritation more than often extends a little too far, to things he is expecting of people but never told them about.

Loud and unexpected noises, especially when done on purpose. Fireworks would be a great example of this, and they piss Nathan off no end. He gets snippy when people raise their voice at him for no reason, or when they keep banging their fist on a surface to get others’ attention.

Getting cut off in traffic. Nathan’s road rage is easily awakened and he can get a little drastic with it. His reflexes are fast enough to brake on time to avoid ending up in someone’s trunk, but will in that same breath speed right back up to crash into them on purpose as revenge for pissing him off.

What are three items you can find in their bedroom?

A large ring binder full of old code snippets, notes from various projects he worked on back at MOBIUS, and all his research ranging from neuroscience all the way to electrical engineering. Nathan is a little old-school in that regard– he’d much rather have all his research physically with him than save it all to some online storage platform and risk losing it like that.

A jigsaw puzzle, made entirely out of different pieces that he’s collected over the years (stolen from others’ puzzles, found in various locations, stolen directly from the store, etc). The full piece would total up to nearly 2000 pieces, though it is still missing a large chunk in the center; the result is an abstract piece containing mostly darker colors, though with various bursts of color scattered around like flowers in a field. Nathan isn’t the artistic type, but the project keeps him busy and he considers it a type of self-expression.

The knife he killed his parents with when he was sixteen years old. He’s not entirely sure why he kept it all those years– perhaps to remind himself what got him to where he is now, or because it’s the only thing he still has from that time of his life. Either way, it’s kept safe in the top drawer of his nightstand, easy enough to reach in case someone breaks into his apartment.

What do they notice first in a person?

First: State of mind, overall mood. How approachable do they look; can he afford to lower his guard or does he need to tread with caution, can he get close without worrying about a knife to the stomach or should he keep his distance? Nathan rarely shows immediate interest in someone’s overall personality, he would rather want to know which of their emotions he’s gonna have to deal with during their interaction(s).

Second: Body language. Ties in with the first thing mentioned– cautiously watching for threats, waiting to see if they make a move to touch (or harm) him so he can step out of their range. But it also extends a little further; Nathan tends to mimic others’ body language in conversation to make himself appear more approachable. If someone gestures a lot, he will do the same.

Third: Their smile, if relevant. Smiling is an eye-catching action to him, since he’s not one to quickly do so himself. It’s attractive to him; if someone smiles at him, you’ll be able to catch him staring.

Fourth: Scars, and other (skin) details. Nathan isn’t one to ask about them, of course– but they’ll catch his attention anyway, for a brief moment, since some of them already tell a story on their own even without words.

Fifth: Nervous tics, if relevant. By this point he’s been in conversation long enough to pick up on the little details– a slight thrill or shakiness to their voice, a thumb running over the side of their index finger, a nose twitch. In some cases it eases his mind, knowing the other person isn’t confident in their conversation either; in other cases it sets off alarms in his mind, and makes him wonder if there’s more going on than what they’re showing or telling him.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Physically: 7. While he doesn’t quite look like it, Nathan can take a hit or two. Most of his injuries happen in STEM– though with the way the technology works, the pain is very much real, and in some cases the scars are lasting even in the real world despite the damage having been sustained in STEM. To an extent, Nathan even enjoys the pain; it’s grounding for him, and keeps him from dissociating. When it gets too much to handle he simply drinks it away.

Mentally: 10. Nathan’s life has been a constant downward spiral; sent to a youth detention center after being wrongfully accused of killing his younger sister, and he was bullied relentlessly there, which continued until long after his release both at school and at home. At MOBIUS, he was required to work shifts in their HQ as well as in the Marrow, in the Union STEM environment– he was required to be mentally strong, or he would have already started suffering from mental erosion by long-term STEM exposure after his first few trips in. It takes a lot to break him (or so he likes to believe).

Emotionally: 4. Once you get past all the barriers, Nathan is pretty sensitive. He doesn’t deal well with rejection or misunderstanding, and is prone to assuming things are all his fault the second something goes wrong. It’s easy to upset him, though he won’t easily show; but the damage often takes a while to repair.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (Or freeze or fawn?)

Fight, more than often; though it may appear as flight at first, since Nathan’s favored combat approach is stealth and he will always find cover before doing anything rash. In certain cases, however, he would be more likely to freeze; especially anything related to Anima or an enemy type like her, where fighting is out of the question, and he knows that a single wrong move can mean his demise.

It translates to non-combat situations too– often willing to talk to people but his initial response is to get defensive and close himself off, and if not given a moment to regain himself it can lead to either fighting or freezing; biting back with similar ferocity or shutting down altogether, unable to pick up his rational train of thought in the heat of the moment.

It really depends on the type of confrontation, though; taking his own state of mind and who else is involved into consideration. He’s known to fawn when a situation starts feeling a little too familiar– generally surrounding the abuse he suffered from partially his parents, but mostly the Administrator.

What animal represents them best?

Wolf; bordering on dog motif, but cautiously so, requiring infinite patience and understanding to win his trust. Nathan is loyal and guarding to those he cares about, but he values his freedom– his choices and decisions are his and his alone, and anyone who tries to take that away from him will suffer the necessary consequences.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Curious, above anything else. Distant, reserved; surprisingly well-spoken, almost technical in his interactions with others as if the whole conversation is pre-programmed in his mind. Nathan isn’t necessarily cold towards others, but people would also not be quick to describe him as kind; though there is a certain warmth to the way he speaks and looks at people, despite the fact he very rarely smiles and isn’t one to quickly compliment someone else.

Appearance-wise, people tend to notice the white strands in his black hair first. They’re clustered at the front of his head, and match with the white hairs in his left eyebrow and the white eyelashes in the outer corner of his left eye. Nathan has very pale and rough skin, patchy but dark facial hair covering up most of his acne (/scarring); and part of the skin around his left eyebrow is lacking pigment, though it’s a little hard to see. He has very pale and bright blue eyes, which can be a little unnerving when staring at them for too long. Many people cannot maintain eye contact with him for very long.

Do they have any hobbies?

Nathan’s career is directly intertwined with his hobbies, and he enjoys working on code even long after cutting ties with MOBIUS. Software development, application optimization– his laptop runs on an operating system that he coded entirely himself, and whenever he has some time to spare he can be found tweaking and optimizing it and adding new features.

To no one’s surprise, he’s a gamer. Shooters, roguelikes, survival horror– he does not play all too often as his schedule often doesn’t allow for it, but he generally doesn’t have a hard time playing on higher difficulties and enjoys the challenge. Nathan has tried his hand at game design and development too, but stopped quickly when he found it too similar to developing the Union environment in STEM.

And last, surprisingly, would be writing. Journaling, some sort of attempt at poetry, or articles he would want to send in to some website or appropriate magazine but never does– a lot of Nathan’s writing is for his eyes alone, but it helps as an outlet, it keeps him grounded. For a while after leaving MOBIUS, he worked on writing tech manuals for various employers to earn some extra cash, which also ties directly into his interests.

#tag games #ask:nathan #using his full name in the banner to fill up all the empty space but it feels so funny like no one calls him that. no one calls him that #idk who's already done this i'm very out of the loop but hi =] until tumblr fixes itself my brain will only let me tag 5 people #in stuff like this so if you see this and i haven't tagged you. you are tagged now. i am tagging you in my mind palace #anyway hi =] i love nathan he is a little bit of a freak a little bit of a weirdo but that's part of his charm #possibly autistic but he's got a job so he doesn't really care about that right now #to me nathan is the same sort of oc flavor as vitali is but it's hard to explain. they both carry this energy around that makes them #fit very well in one specific environment if that makes sense?? vitali being a corpo boy nathan being lead STEM developer #and to then see them outside of that environment kind of makes them feel out of place in a very similar way as #how they themselves feel a little alienated from the rest of the world #taught to do what they do and when expected to function outside of that reality and mingle with the crowds #they don't really know what to do with themselves etc etc. does that make sense. i hope it does #either way. for nathan it really shows in how he struggles connecting with his friends and why he ends up #latching on to ruben so much once he allows him to move in with him. there's SO many parallels between them #and ruben is also a guy who grew up dedicating his life to one thing only and now he doesn't know what else there is for him #that's why they work so well together... both struggling to find purpose and connection. you know what i mean #ok i've said enough now but just know i could easily write an essay or two about this guy

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