#my brain always does this pause thing when there’s a hyphen

[theshadowrealmitself]

r/RespectTheHyphen would combust at your Spider-Man posts 😭

Oh but I didn’t forget the hyphen! I actively fought against autocorrect to not have it on my posts <3 hope this helps <3

[colbyflask]

what i am doing here

listen - or actually read because you most likely aren't listening to this. if you are listening to this, why are you using text to speech?? or am I reading this out loud in the future? is there an AI out there mimicking my voice, impersonating my likeness to make an insane amount of profit? does this mean I finally got to blow up (not in the exploding sense), and act like I don't know anybody?

this little project is more like an exercise - I've been wanting to write for a long time. but not serious writing (at least not yet) - the last time I wrote something was exactly a year ago and that was a research paper for my last grade in undergrad (I got an A, like it matters). The process was terrible. Like most of my assignments, I held off for as long as I could and panic wrote in the hours leading up to the deadline. I missed those deadlines, asked for extensions, and used the pure fury of that panic to drive the assignment to completion. I pulled all-nighters, consuming terrible coffee which made me feel worse than it tasted. I couldn't feel my legs, and my head would be pounding. I ached for sleep, but my academic writing process forbid it. While my writing usually got me the grade I wanted, I wasn't satisfied with the product I produced. I always felt like I could've done more, that my arguments were weak, like I didn't know enough to put words on the page. Despite the fact that I formulated the words after hours of research and calculated planning, it wasn't enough. I felt as if I could've been doing so much more, but I just couldn't execute it. There was no joy in the process of seeking knowledge and repurposing what I'd learned, and I began to care less and less about the topics at hand. And when most of your assignments are related your interests in your chosen specialty, let's just say the process of writing becomes even more grueling. the vicious cycle continued, and I only managed to escape by removing myself from that academic environment. I won't lie to you - I want to go back someday, but I can't do it the way I did before. I really don't think I'll make it out - so I guess this project/idea is way for me rebuild before I go back. Maybe something else will come out of it, or maybe everything will be exactly the same. I can't really say .

Writing is something that I used to enjoy - crafting little non-sensical stories that were the result of either weird dreams I had or ideas that came to me after reading a book that I loved. I never got into that whole fan fiction thing (I didn't have time and I was absolutely the type that didn't want to read something if it didn't come from the "original creator." I like to think that I've grown out of that mindset a bit, but I have yet to really read any kind of fan-fiction). I've wanted to practice writing for a while, going beyond the artificial research papers or timed assignments. I don't think I've written anything fun since the fourth grade (unless you count my dumbass tweets), and I've really lacked that kind of inspiration. I wouldn't even know where to start - what even is a writing process??? Here's what I do know - I use WAYYY too many hyphens (I had a professor call me out on it once). I enjoy using them. I like to think of my writing as listening to someone's thoughts, and the hyphens are another way to convey a pause. I also know that me and writing have had a rough relationship over the past few years, which is heartbreaking because I feel like I had the potential to be a phenomenal writer. That likely sounds egotistical, and you know what? It is. If I don't say it, who will? If I don't believe that I have the potential, why should anyone else? So there it is. I want to write, and I want to be good at it. That's why I'm here. But I can't improve my writing if I don't practice, so that's why I'm here. I'm going to write about what I want to write about, and I want to share what's going on in my brain. I want to do it on my own terms. Will people read this? Again - I can't really say. If you are reading this (because I wrote a lot - sorry), thank you. My goals here are to make this an interesting experience - I want it to be entertaining, but also insightful. I don't want you to feel like you just wasted five minutes reading gibberish. I hope you (and me) will stick along for the ride.

Something I've wanted to do for a while is write about the music I like. Like musical reviews. I have absolutely no qualifications - I just want to write about what I enjoy (or not enjoy), and I want to share that with the world. I spend a lot of my time listening to music, but it'll usually be the same thing on rotation until I feel comfortable to move on to something new. So I think that's where I'll start - writing about the music that I like and why I like it. I don't know how long it'll take me - I haven't decided if it'll be polished and proofread, or a jumbled mess (like this one). I haven't decided if it'll be one big post, or a conglomerate. And you know what? that's okay. I don't need to plan everything out. I just need to put something on the page (...or, text post in this case). So that's where we'll start - vivi vibing to vibrations (thx sofia for the name)

that's all I have for now. I'm not the most well-versed in this website, but I feel like I know enough to get me going. the rest will come. and on that note of rest, I need some.

'-V

may 5. 2023

[thechocoboos]

Chocobro HC: Grammar and Em Dashes

it’s been sitting in my google docs folder for a  m o n t h

Noctis

Noctis writes his em dashes as hyphens--and everyone hates it. So, so much (“Can noct turn his location on i just wanna have a talk” -- @angelic-guardienne)

Example: “Prompto and I ate all of Iggy’s dumplings-and they were fucking great”

And this, my wonderful babes, is not an em dash at all!!! It’s a hyphen!!!!!!! And! It’s! Wrong! So good job noct

Ignis is always ready to fuckin fight Noctis whenever he checks over his essays

And Noct never fixes any of the grammar points, either. All those hyphens? They’re staying hyphens, and Noct doesn’t give a fuck about what grammarly tells him

As @angelic-guardienne put it, “it’s called style, sweety”

Noct not only uses his em dashes correctly, but he loves them, so there are a lot

Why, you may ask? Well, when Noctis uses an em dash, he usually doesn’t have to finish his sentences all the way (or at least, that’s what he thinks)

90 Percent of his grammar errors are laziness, and the em dash is one of them

As for other grammar points

He has so many fucking run on sentences that i want to throw up just thinking about it

He’s a comma FIEND

Don’t know what goes there? COMMA

End of a phrase? COMMA

Already used one hundred supposed-em-dash-hyphens? COMMA

COMMA COMMA COMMA COMMA COMMA COMMA

Someone stop this man

He also has the tendency to put a comma when he pauses as though he were reading the sentence out loud (which i, too, am guilty of, so, mood)

He’s not a bad writer, he’s just bad at grammar

His biggest reason for too many commas and run on sentences is just that he’s too lazy to truly revise and proofread his essays

So

We end up with gems like, “And that’s how my great-grandpappy lost his right leg-he jumped a ship, ate a poisonous squirrel, got stung by a jellyfish, and threw up in the span of an hour because he couldn’t see from when he got a new eyepatch”

Okay, maybe he isn’t a great writer, but he has good content and that’s what matters!

Prom

Prom tries to avoid em dashes at all costs (although they are a great writing technique sometimes)

He has no idea how to use them--like straight up

The second someone advises him to use an em dash his face grows panicky and his brain just goes ERROR 404

Therefore, every time he uses an em dash, he does it differently

There was one time when he used an em dash five different times in one essay (noct was so proud of him), and each time it was done differently

Example: “And King Regis declined to answer- it was a mistake”, “Starfish then became part of the echinodermata phlyum -- a fact that no biologist could ever forget.”, “Leeches are apart of the platyhelminthe phylum - not the annelida or nematoda as some people think.”, “After the war, the Citadel was cast in a 10 year darkness that stopped their improvement --and everyone perished - and halted any construction on the site.”

He just struggles okay

He never knows what’s happening with em dashes and he swears everytime he looks it up, it changes

Prom’s biggest problem with writing is that he struggles to focus and stay on track

His mind is always elsewhere and he gets distracted every five seconds--unless he really, REALLY likes what he’s writing about

Much like Noct, he has quite a few run on sentences as well as sentence fragments, but these are because he just can’t focus

It’s so hard for him to get in the zone and when he can’t--which is admittedly, quite often--he ends up jumping from thought to thought and unable to wrap one point up before his brain is on the other

Gladio helped him figure out how to combat this, by making outlines before working on essays and such, but it can only do so much for Prom

Prom still aims for improving things, however, and he’s determined to one day get those damn em dashes down

Gladio

GLADIO LOVES EM DASHES

HE FUCKING ADORES THEM

AND AND AND… he knows how to use them!

He loves those little fuckers with every fiber of his being, they make him so happy and he swears to the astrals that he could never make it through his essays without the support of em dashes

He loves them so much oh my god

He just went through an Emily Dickinson phase (as @angelic-guardienne believes) and the em dashes just… stuck

Ignis sometimes tells him to stop being so carefree with em dashes and Gladio proceeds to text him from then on with only em dashes as his punctuation (it was a bad week for ignis)

Gladio actually has a lot of run on sentences in his first drafts of essays and such, but he’s so anal about revisions that he comes out with absolutely immaculate final drafts

In fact, his first draft is always COVERED in errors

His em dashes may be on point, but he too is comma crazed and riddled with run on sentences; he just has so many ideas to get down and explain that he likes to worry on grammar later

There were some things that Gladio used incorrectly just because he would see it in the books he read, and later on he finally learned how to use them correctly in school (and felt like a damn fool, too)

Gladdy is fairly relaxed about his writing, he just likes to let the words flow (although he does have basic outlines prepared just in case he forgets where he’s going with ideas)

Gladdy loves his em dashes and now hates commas, and his rough drafts are never perf, but he is quite proud of his grammar nonetheless

Ignis

He doesn’t use em dashes very often tbh

He’s more of a semi-colon and comma guy (and he is a hard ass about commas btw)

But!

When he does use em dashes, they are eloquent, they are well-placed, they are B E A U T I F U L

HOWEVER

He is also a hardass about seeing incorrect or too frequent em dashes (i think he’d throw up at my essays)

His little green eyes flash and he immediately throws his back out trying to comment and reach the unfortunate soul whose em dashes he’s looking at

Noctis’ essays give him aneurysms

Ignis is the man who people turn to for help on his essays, however, he isn’t the one they should go to

He’s glad to try and explain the rules of writing and grammar, but honestly, he doesn’t know how to have them make sense

He knows the rules, but he defo can’t explain them, even if he gets pissy at the broken rules

Iggy spends more time on his essays than people would think, merely because he is 100% focused on getting it as perfect as it can be on the first try

He honestly gets hella anxious if he can’t figure out how to word something right the first time he writes something and if a teacher or a prof has more than just a couple points for him to fix for final drafts, he F R E A K S out

This is the man who will pull all nighters because he’s struggling on one small thing on his essay

It’s not so much as freaking out because he wants to be the perfect student so much as freaking out because he can really only afford to do these things once, especially with how little time he has to himself

[multahomines]

try jd from scrubs!

It isn’t every day you get the chance to meet one of your childhood heroes. Admittedly, the childhood hero in question is a wax figurine and isn’t exactly alive and able to respond to my endless poking and prodding--maybe that’s a good thing. Red Foxx would’ve called me a Dummy and ... hey, actually, that sounds pretty cool. I dunno where Turk is, because he would love this. Time to try my patented ‘I Lost Turk and Now I’m Afraid, I Need To Find Him’ call. 

“Pirates can beat robots any day of the week!” I yell, much to the discomfort of everyone else trying to enjoy a nice time in the Wax Museum Of Forgotten Sitcom TV Stars. “And for that matter, ninjas too!”

“WHA--” there he is. like I predicted, he comes stomping around the corner, carrying with him a small wax figurine of -- 

“Is that the monkey from Ace Ventura?” 

“Yes, yes it is.” he says, proudly, and rather indignantly. Too indignantly for my tastes. 

“That’s so cool ...” I reach out to touch it and he promptly swats my hand away. I wonder what would happen if he was carrying the real monkey . . . 

“No!” his snapping ... snaps me out of my thoughts. “This isn’t the time for one of your space-out-fantasy whatsits. I heard you talking trash about robots and ninja.”

“Ninjas.”

“Actually the proper term is ninja.” 

“Whatever, look, Choco Bear; it’s Fred!”

“Yeah, I know, I saw him already.” 

“Wh--ah--whatdoyoumeanyousawitalready? And you didn’t tell me?”

“Dude--” he points to the monkey. “I saw a souvenir. You know I can’t resist trinkets and such.” 

“That’s fair. Anyway, you ready to go? These wax figures are cool and all, but it’s almost time for the 6pm showing of Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader.”

Turk makes a face which I’ve seen him make plenty of times before. That face when he smells something bad and it’s usually a fart, but he’s looking to cover it up. We have a lot of stuff in common--our love for robots, for chocolate chip sundaes, for random street games we make up like How Many Stolen Pairs Of Jeans Are People Wearing?, but one thing we tend to disagree on is shlockfests. B-movies of the highest orders. He hates ‘em, but I love ‘em. 

“Aw, c’mon man. I thought you were kidding about that! If I wanted to see a cheerleader stomp around and ruin things, I’d just give Carla a cheerleader costume from the Halloween store, knowhatIamsayin’?”

“Yeah I do!” we fist noogie. It’s like a regular noogie, but with our fists. “Fine. Take your ... pet .. wax monkey and get outta here! I’ll watch it by myself.”

“Promise?” he says, sheepishly. Boy, I hate it when he does that face. 

“Yeah ... go on! Carla’s waiting for you anyway, I’m sure. Besides, either way, I was gonna get the X-Tra large popcorn. This just means it’s more for me. Extra butter please!” 

“You’re a doctor, dude. You should know that stuff is terrible for you.”

“You’re a surgeon--you should know doing what you do late at night is bad for your hands.”

“HEY.” he shouts, drawing attention to us. ‘Nothing to see here! His blood sugar’s running low and he gets cranky!’ i say. “What I do then is between me and the X-Box.”

“Xbox.”

“What?”

“You always say it with the hyphen, it’s weird.”

“You can’t say a hyphen, JD.”

“Yet, you do it every time.”

“Alright, look. I gotta go. I got just enough time to buy this and haul ass back home. See you at 9?”

“Yepperoni! Unless they’re showing The Brain That Wouldn’t Die afterward, then I’ll be home at midnight.”

“Isn’t that movie like ... only an hour long?”

“It is! But then I have to scrub my eyes for two hours after watching it, Ka-ching!” 

“Ka-ching!” he echoes. I love him for that. 

“9 it is. Alright, love ya Vanilla bear.” 

“Love you too, Choco. Don’t melt out there!” 

“Dude!” 

“I was talking to the monkey, god.” 

“Shut up.” he says, laughing. He stomps back around the corner after another fist-noogie and I’m left alone with Wax Foxx. 

“Well, Fred. Looks like the Big One’s gonna get both of us.” I pause, look around, to my left, my right, behind me. Then, softly: “Dun-dun-dun dun. Dun-dun dun dun--” The Sanford and Son theme song. 

In the background, at the register, Turk chimes in with the last half. I smile and take a picture with Red ... I wanna save this moment forever. 

“Dummy.”