#my barfday not hers

[summer-fire]

Barfday

[eldritch-spouse]

MY BIRTHDAY IS THE 20TH UH SO UH WOULD THE ICONS CARE ABOUT THEIR SO’S BIRTHDAY? HOW WOULD THEY CELEBRATE IT?

(Or Just Livius cause he’s my bbg and I loooove him)

[Happy barfday, you aged. 🎉]

Icons during your birthday

Vesper wakes you up with birthday head. Sure, you get that plenty of times, but this one is special!! Because he's going to eat you out to the table and then, as you're having breakfast, someone else is between your legs. The whole ring knows, so you probably have a plethora of gifts that are usually some variation of degenerate or filthy and funny. Vesper does pay attention to what you say however, so he'll make sure to get you things you actually want aside from just whatever he thinks would look sexy on you. The day goes by in a hurry because you're too fucked out to think honestly.

Rinx throws the largest party ever. It's embarrassing. It's super embarrassing. But hey, you get a house-sized pile of presents. You're going to spend most of the day opening these while Rinx peels himself for your approval. Put it on! Put every cloth and jewel he gave you on! Let's face it, he probably gets a bit of everything, since usually when you want something Rinx just gets it instantly. He knows it's selfish of him to ask you this on your birthday... But can he fuck you on the pile? Please?

You like piñatas? Kalymir likes piñatas... Okay, now bash the fuck out of this prisoner's brains! That's a fun way to start. You're going to play all sorts of games, from aim to raw power, all of them resulting in some por sod's death. If you have a favorite type of weapon or sport, he's one hundred percent going to bet on that too. You're going to be eating like a real Queen too, so don't worry about breaks. You're going to celebrate every birthday with Kalymir just like you did the first one in your life- Naked, screaming, and covered in blood.

Zizz will ask if you want to spend the whole day in bed. He'll get up and go anywhere you want since it's your day, but he also had a perfect setup ready just to stay with you in his room the whole time and watch movies or play stupid games and nap together. Your presents are buried under endless piles of plushies, and he's going to enjoy watching you dig around for them, especially when you get stuck in a tower of stuffed animals and pillows and he gets to see you wiggle your ass in a struggle. Do you like video games? Zizz will get you into them today.

You've never had a real birthday cake until you become Vorticia's lover. This woman will get you such a magnificent, delicious, mouth-watering, gorgeous, unbelievable cake that you will cry for more, and probably get a stomach ache. She's content to sit with you on her lap and feed it to you, maybe even make you lick her fingers clean. But, eventually, she might just drop you on it and let you go ham. Watching like a pervert before scooping you up to lick you clean, and dropping you again. After that, it's a relatively normal day, she has plenty of cute presents for you and will take you to her son's esteemed sorbet establishment to have all the fun you want.

Livius is very good at listening to the things you want, that's why his presents are usually always the best out of all Icons, as he seems to hit the nail on the head every single time. Since he assimilates plenty of your tastes, he's likely to guess correctly what you'd most like to do for your birthday, and has no issue slipping into the surface to rip his way into the theaters or go to a water park, whatever the Hell you so please! Nothing will stop him from giving you everything you want, so that you feel so special in that one day that you'll never feel jealousy ever again in your entire life. Because you deserve that.

Cero is too fucking extra. This is the definition of being treated as a Queen. You're forbidden from moving a muscle since the moment you wake up. He's already dolled up with the best attire he has, the servants will start piling in the room to bathe and dress you like a doll, preparing you to go out into the halls and greet all sorts of people you've never even heard of as Cero apparently organized a dazzling party while you were fast asleep. You feel sorry for the imps. Since the spotlight is always on you, it will feel a little exhausting, but Cero's always there to make sure others definitely give you space, by shooing them away, or speaking for you. You're complimented and praised the entire time by everyone, including him, and you get some of the most elegant gifts ever out there. Then, of course, you're gently fucked in your get-up while the King of Pride whispers about how well-behaved you were.

[whocanmakethatshitup]

The Morning After

Well what better way to continue this book of debauchery, but with the morning after my 19th Birthday. So as I stated, I was dry heaving and barely able to keep down a glass of water at 7:30 am the next morning. After this escapade, I got smart as to when my birthday was and when to schedule critiques after that year. It was not at the ass crack of dawn, you can be sure of that. So I’m in my room and pounding glass after glass of water. Only to run into the bathroom and puke it all up in the toilet. So now I sit and think, “Shit man, how the fuck am I going to get through a critique as shitfaced as I still am”? I trek across the street to the school, luckily it wasn’t a far walk, and proceed to go up to the third floor where my crit would take place. Of course the goddamn professor was running late and now I would have to sit in the fucking hallway until he was ready for me. How in the hell can you be behind if I’m the 2nd critique of the day? So I sat and waited, and waited some more. Thankfully the school was dead since it was crit week so no one could see my disgusting ass, except this one girl. I felt so bad for her as she sat and ate her bagel. I got "that feeling" in my stomach again and my mouth started to get all-moist and I was salivating. At that moment, I looked over at her and kindly said, “ I don’t know you and you sure as shit don’t know me, but I’m sorry I have to go puke in that garbage can" and I did. I got up, walked over to the can, swung open the lid, stuck my whole head in and called me some dinosaurs. As I pulled my pathetic head from the can I went to sit back down. Only to realize, my fair lady had moved all the way to the end of the hall to sit as far away as possible. I couldn't blame her. I sat a few more minutes and finally was called into the critique by Charles Cooper, my professor. He was like Leon Phelps, the Ladies Man and he wasn’t in much better shape. Granted, he wasn’t half in the bag still like I was, but he actually did a whole critique with a huge glob of strawberry yogurt dripping down the middle of his sweater. My boy Dubbs walked by the classroom and looked in the door and he said we were a sight for sore eyes. He goes “ Dude you looked like you were going to fall over, with your dehydrated ass. But then I look at him and he’s got Dannon fucking yogurt all over himself.” Well the crit finally ended, thank god. I think I got a C that semester in drawing, but whatever, my grades improved significantly later. So, I went back to my dorm, passed out and pretty much slept all day. That was until my meathead roommate woke my ass up at 7:30pm as he jumps out of bed screaming “OH SHIT I MISSED MY CRIT, IT’S 7:30!!” Then proceeds to laugh and exclaims, “Oh wait, it’s 7:30 at night, I went to that shit already.” Thanks to all who made my “barfday” special.

[bccky]

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

A/N: All of my fics are Bucky X Reader i.e Reader Inserts. A huge, HUGE thank you to @firefly-graphics  for making the beautiful dividers due to which these masterlists are pretty AF! I hope you like reading them Xx

Here (In Your Arms) -> Song Prompt - Here (In Your Arms) by hellogoodbye

The Sour Break Up -> based on the new break up culture made by Olivia Rodgrio by her album sour. Social media!AU

Questions -> Bucky leaves you and you have a lot of questions. Song prompt - Die from a broken heart by Maddie and Tae

Barfday Gorl -> crack, fluff

Imagine being hurt on a mission but downplaying it and Bucky comes to your rescue

Imagine being hurt on a mission but downplaying it and Bucky comes to your rescue

Imagine Bucky turning into the Winter Soldier in the middle of a mission but he acts in an unexpected way

Lure (DARK! NSFW 18+)

It's all about the perfect lure

If you wanna read more of my dark fics, follow my dark blog - @darkbccky (18+ exclusive)

WC - 1.5K+

The Heart Eyes

You hope your crush on James Bucky Barnes isn’t obvious, but you both have meddling friends who apparently are sick of the heart eyes you give each other

WC - 3.9K+

Creams and Comfort

You wake up in the middle of the night to a loud noise to find Bucky standing in front of the bathroom mirror, hating the marks on his body

WingTeam

WC - 870

Unrequited

You realise that you love your best friend but he confesses that he loves someone else (college au)

WC - 2.8K+

The Avengers become a Wing Team to set you and Bucky up.

WC - 2.1K+

If It Isn’t Love Masterlist (complete - 2 parts)

Bucky acts stupidly and loses you when he could’ve had it all.

But somehow, it's also how he gets you back

I Like You Masterlist (Ongoing) - 5 Parts Only

Summary: they say that there are five stages of having a crush. This is the story of how Y/N goes through each of them while harboring a crush on the popular nerd-slash-jock at her college, James ‘Bucky’ Barnes

Staying In (Ongoing)

Summary: You and your boyfriend Bucky are stuck together in your apartment during quarantine.

Each chapter has a separate small summary and warnings Xx

More on it’s way soon Xx

<- BACK TO MARVEL MASTERLIST

[current-mcr-news]

frankieromustdie: Today is kind of a big deal because it is my best friend’s birthday. I fell in love with Jamia the moment i saw her, and will continue to love her well after my eyes shut for the very last time. Every year for 3 months and change she and i are the same age, and then i continue onward into AARP-hood. it’s like our own private hayley’s comet... if hayley’s comet was a number, lasted for a few weeks, and then happened every year. ok, shut up, whatever it’s nothing like hayley’s comet. anyway, this was her first quarantine barfday and i hope we made it as rad as she makes every other day for us. happy birthday Jamia, we love you all the much. forever and ever. xo LB, CB, MA, Lois & me.

[July 8, 2020]

[airanke]

IT IS MY BAE’S B-DAY HAPPY BARFDAY MY BAE @whiteincite AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I LOVE THIS GIF SO MUCH YOU GUYS DONT’ UNDERSTAND---

AND I LIKE CRACK-SHIPPING WHITE’S HUNTER BABE WITH MY OTHER HUNTERS SO HERE’S HUMAN / COLLEGE AU ZALAOJIN AND KAISRA GETTIN’ FRIENDLY AT A PARTY- it suited them because they both like their alcohol and ugh. Also cameo’d several other of my bae’s chars (left to right: Shen’ahjen, Thanallian, Viscaria, NAMELESS DUDE, and Balsam).

My bae means a lot to me like so much sadokfjaogreog I can’t hardly put it into words half the time aaaAAAAA iloveherverymuchyes i’d live and breathe her if she were near me and i want to cuddle all day and night //WEEPS--

[5666438]

My barfday really in 11 days my dad said I'm too old for gifts and my sister is just giving me her laptop that I've already had for 2 months urjehgkdjkfj I'm just old sad bitch!

[dini069]

Got my mate a hat for her barfday and some munt stole it! (at The Rising Sun)

[thisdudewalksintoabar]

10.13.10, about how I got hella drunk at a salon’s anniversary party.

https://www.fwweekly.com/2010/10/13/happy-barfday-shampoo/

I woke up Monday morning thinking it was Tuesday. I’m sure you’ve done this before for various reasons. Maybe you had Friday off, and the long weekend threw off your schedule. Maybe you went into a coma on a Monday and woke up 364 days later. Both of those are confusing situations and perfectly good reasons for getting your days mixed up. It’s all about context, I guess. Good thing too. My reason for getting my days mixed up is because on Sunday night, I got drunk at a hair salon.

I know, I know. I’m not supposed to romanticize public intoxication, so consider this a cautionary tale on the perils and sadness of binge drinking. Still, it’s kind of a funny story.

See, Shampoo Salon, on the West Side, turned 10, and my friend Squirt was bartending the anniversary party. She said there was going to be a free keg and some kind of vodka punch. In other words, this was a classier version of every party I ever went to before I turned 21.

Three of us –– Squirt’s boyfriend, a second buddy, and I –– rolled up to Shampoo around 8:30 p.m. We were immediately greeted by Josh, Shampoo’s owner, and pointed in the direction of the Tacoheads trailer, temporarily away from its dock behind 7th Haven. We went for cups of punch instead. At least the stuff came out of a big thermos rather than a trashcan.

The Shampoo party was really going off. There was a good-sized crowd in the converted house and outside. A backdrop had been set up in the front room, and a photographer was trying to catch people jumping in mid-air. There was a snack bar. After a couple of punch refills, we walked around to the parking lot in the back. Near the fence, stacks of paintings were piled around a huge canvas that this guy with Willie Nelson braids was working on. In the middle of the lot was a long coffee table. At either end, people were getting styled on the fly, but I kept my hat on. I’m about three months away from looking like a late-’70s Jimmy Buffett, and I’d like to keep it that way. I did, however, take interest in the palm reader, whose table was situated near the back door by the keg. The palmist’s line was pretty long, so I had plenty of time for a couple beers. By the time I sat down at her table, I’d probably had like three or four and had made as many trips to the punch station. The palmist took my hands in hers and looked deep into my eyes. I nodded enthusiastically at whatever it was she was saying. I hope that none of it was particularly revelatory because I totally missed it.

My friends got tacos, and I went inside. The house bumped with the kind of music you’d expect at a hair salon anniversary party. Black Sabbath it wasn’t, but I didn’t care because I was having a blast. I cruised around with the giddy buzz of a college freshman at his first off-campus party. I ate a crapload of chips and guacamole.

Around midnight, someone folded me into a car, and we went back to my house. I melted into a deck chair on the porch and hoped to pass out. I sat there thinking about every ridiculous facet of my predicament: 32 years old. About to pass out in a bamboo chair on a front porch. After bingeing like an 18-year-old. At a hair salon. The mellow mood I’d maintained an hour ago had curdled into a really unpleasant drunkenness, and it was only a couple more minutes before I was blasting punch-flavored puke over my porch railing.

Needless to say, when I figured out what day it was, I decided to take a break. I think I’ll stick to club soda this week. –– Steve Steward

[current-mcr-news]

frankieromustdie: really missing this beautiful lady today on her birthday. she’s my best friend, the greatest mom i could ever imagine for our kids, the other half of my heart, and every once in a while she even laughs at one of my jokes. Hippy Barfday Jamia Majia! I hope all your TVs only play shows about renovating houses and people who lost 500 pounds, and that someone buys you mickey pretzel and a fudgey the whale cake today. forever and ever you have my heart. xo