#my babysitter used to put this movie on repeat all day every day

[james-p-sullivan]

so in the directors cut of the butterfly effect, the protagonist, evan, kills himself with his umbilical cord while in his mother’s womb after coming the bitter realization that this was the only way everyone could lead a ‘normal’ life (not existing is the only way). what we need to remember that his mom had a history of previous still births which implies that each of those unborn children also inherited their fathers ‘gift’ and came to the same conclusion evan did and also killed themselves in the womb. in this essay i will-

[4dtk]

jaehyun as a bf

anon: “your writing brings me butterflies i love it you are so underrated!!!!! would love to request a jaehyun bf headcanons (like the one you did of mark <3)” thank you for the kind words anon <333 hope you enjoy this one!

(a bit of a plug lol but check out NCT 127's ideal r/s headcanons in this post!! i appreciate you checking it out! <3)

brief mentions of sex, but nothing explicitly nsfw!

likes to talk about music with you

especially jazz. there’s a plethora of songs out there with different renditions and sometimes he likes to ramble about who’s rendition he likes best

would play the piano for you if you asked, just maybe not after schedules or something. but usually when you’re free or alone together in the room, he likes you to sit beside him to listen to him play

you guys like to play a little game where he’ll play the chords and you play like a random note to create blobs of music

even if you don’t know how, the way the session always dissolves into giggles is his favourite thing in the world

if you know how to play the piano that’s great too!! jaehyun just likes the unexpected notes that come out since there’s no set melody in his mind

jaehyun needs to have some part of his body on yours at all times. like he has to hold your hand all the time, or a finger hooked around your backpack, or an arm around your waist.

at least when you’re together he does it very often and he’s just. obsessed with you lmfao

it’s also the reason he buys a promise ring when he’s sure of you as a significant other so you always have a part of him with you (his love)

would buy you those lockets for you to put pictures inside. he doesn’t care where you wear it though, around your neck, wrist, ankle, as long as the locket is on your person

he clings onto you like crazy in the mornings. jaehyun’s a heavy sleeper and likes to hug you on his side, so you’re always having trouble trying to pry him off of you in the morning

a bit nsfw: he likes morning lazy sex lol, ngl. jaehyun adores the rawness of your relationship in the morning and the sleepiness in your eyes when you’re gently pushing him away. he knows you don’t mean it but he makes sure you really want it first

loves the sunlight kissing your skin and the slow, gentle movements

so so intimate, he prefers it to the rougher forms of sex, but sometimes he doesn’t have that luxury since they leave for schedules quite often in the wee hours of dawn

for cuddling sense, jaehyun likes it when you’re under his arm and cuddled into his side. classic position but he dies every time inside when you look up at him and there’s this clueless look you have. has the biggest smile on his face after and you have to repeat the stuff you said bc he’s too distracted by how your eyes shine

second hot favourite (more of when you’re making out) is when you’re straddling him. nothing sexual, just like you on top of him when you’re kissing and stuff. he digs it when you’re pulling away for oxygen and he has to lift his body to reach for your lips again

gets flustered from kissing, but doesn’t show it. if he’s found a way to suppress the crazy crimson on his ears (which i doubt) then he will but his words will always contradict his expression

jaehyun can say “are you nervous, y/n?” with a smirk but his ears keep giving him away!!!!

mfer’s hands are shaking too when he trails it over your body. in disbelief you’re his.

sometimes shamelessly moans into the kiss LOL, not too loud but he whines when you pull away, and has to kiss you breathless again

when you kiss him, expect like a long-lasting kiss. doesn’t mind small pecks and stuff but he’ll want to savour your lips a little longer than a mere peck

jaehyun likes your neck too. when you’re hugging his face is always in your neck, placing small little butterfly kisses

you need to look out for him, always. mans always tripping over something at some point. it’s become more frequent now that he has you and my god he’s so unable to keep his eyes off of you that he trips over simple things. he once tripped over nothing

on the daily when he’s not tripping over you, he’s clumsy in a sense where he drops food on the table. he once struggled to tie up his growing hair into a mini ponytail bc it was just too little hair. the hair tie slipped from his fingers and shot itself into your face - those kinds of small small mishaps

it’s endearing but sometimes you can’t help but laugh at him

likes to take you out on impromptu dates. dates that are close by and easy to plan (?) i guess.

not saying jaehyun is a lazy boyfriend but he likes the more candid dates where you decide what to do as you go along. of course if it’s a big day like your anniversary or birthdays then he’d want to plan something out.

other than that, he just either lets you choose the places to go there or you two decide along the way. he doesn’t want to impose options for you and pressure you. if he’s being honest, he wouldn’t know where to go either lol so he just follows wherever you bring him

laughs so much when he’s with you. giggles, deep laugh, whatever you name it. your relationship is very light-hearted and he finds that he’s the one laughing more when you deliver jokes even tho he wants to make you laugh too

i can’t lie… his jokes can be dry sometimes i’m sorry jaehyun 😭 so he backs it up with laughter and has to catch his breath sometimes bc he finds it really funny

you’re not laughing at the joke, rather at his laugh so you might have to tell him that some way or another bc he’ll just keep making bad jokes i’m sorry y’all

he can’t handle the suuuuuper cheesy physically affectionate films or series (with shitty plot) but i feel like if the story’s interesting enough he’ll pay attention. likes bittersweet films too, i feel, gets him thinking

doesn’t mind cliched plots (fake dating / idealist girl meets realist boy / idk any others lol) but would propose something at the end that he thinks will make the movie/series more interesting

jaehyun likes to share his theories with you

unironically wants to learn the la la land tap dance scene with you. he ALWAYS hums city of stars too, no matter what. idk why but it sticks to him, in bed, in breakfast, when he’s doing something random

he did it once on the radio and he received a text from you in break that told him he was humming along to the song

with that said, jaehyun wants to try out the stuff in the rain quite a bit. making out, dancing, lying down, running, he likes that fascination that society has with doing things in the rain

doesn’t like it too much that he’ll get soaked, but as long as you’re with him and willing to do it, he’s all for it

jaehyun would def want kids in the future. wants to dote on them and buy them stuff and whatnot. wants to see them running around the house with laughter while you both struggle to contain the bursts of excitement they have

doesn’t care for the dynamic much. if he’s the one to stay at home to take care of them while you work, he can work with it. if it’s the other way round, he’s okay too

he just worries that if he’s still involved with the entertainment industry, you might have to take a back seat since he’ll be the one earning the money, and he doesn’t want babysitters either.

heart is so so full when he comes back home and you’re just playing with the kids, or singing them to sleep. any sight of you with him is enough to make him melt into a puddle

HAS to hold them even if they’re asleep. wants to always have them close to him while he nudges you to shower or get the food ready.

like jaehyun, he would wanna meet someone in a vinyl shop or bookstore. he knows it’s cliched but the thought of meeting someone when you’re buying something is exciting. anything unexpected for him, he welcomes it

the next few are just random, miscellaneous headcanons: he likes to see you in his clothes, preferably with nothing underneath. just his shirt lol. cheeky man

jaehyun likes it when you shower together (again, nothing sexual, just likes the domesticity)

likes it when you fall asleep on him

will never stop gushing about you to his parents, first time you met them they’re like “he’s told us so much about you!” and he really did

feels comfortable in your presence, no makeup, messy hair, no need for a perfect bod. he’s just jaehyun. jung yuno if you will

adores it when you call him “lover” i mean boyfriend is good, significant other is good, but lover is just chef’s kiss

it is a bit cheesy if you think about it, so it’s not often that you say it. when you do say it in songs when you’re singing it to him, he can’t stop smiling

plays lover, you should’ve come over when he’s on tour bc it’s the closest thing he can get to a replica of how he feels for you

and when jaehyun falls asleep to the song, all he can remember is your honey voice singing it to him. he’ll just have to hold onto it before he can see you again

<3

[bokuroskitten]

𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱’𝔰 𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔰𝔎𝔦𝔯𝔱?

〈you really didn’t mind being the nanny for Daichi’s kids, not when it came with perks.

✮ genre: NSFW 18+ (MINORS DNI)

✮ warnings: Dilf Daichi, daddy kink (daddy title used), age gap, use of handcuffs, spanking, oral (m! receiving), face fucking, creampie, slight breeding kink, cockwarming, spit <3

✮ word count: 2.8

❦ shout out to dilf Daichi, who takes up all the space in my brain

❦ huge thank you to @ohno-otome @oneblonded @rosesandtoshi who took their time to beta this for me, please give them love and appreciation.

“You little slut. What if my kids had seen huh? The fact that you’re not wearing any panties under this little skirt?”

“I’m sure they didn’t notice, but you sure did, huh Daddy?”

You were a cheeky little thing, that was for sure. Daichi had never expected this sort of outcome, not with you, the sweet university babysitter he hired. But there you were, asking for it with that shit-eating grin on your face.

It had been just Daichi and his kids for quite some time, him and the three munchkins. Mom didn’t stick around when she fell for her boss. A businessman, much older and much richer. Daichi had gotten over it, as best as he could. He had all he needed with his kids, who were always full of contagious happiness. But it was tough, being a single dad and working as a full-time cop. When the night shifts started to roll around Daichi took it upon himself to find a suitable nanny.

Which was how the two of you met. You were in university and desperately needed the extra money for the looming student debt. Looking for jobs wasn’t the easiest thing, but what was easy was saying yes to Daichi’s offer. He was willing to pay you more than minimum wage for nights, even offered you the spare room if things got too late or you had class early the next morning. Plus his kids were angels. They got along with you almost instantly, clinging to your legs or begging you to stay longer than your allotted shift time.

Plus, Daichi himself was nice to look at, but you tried your best not to focus on that point.

You had been working for Daichi for a while now, it was almost routine for you to attend volleyball practices, dance recitals, or even just dinner picnics. The kids loved having you around, and all Daichi wanted to do was to see them happy. But that’s when he noticed it, the one day the family had gone to the park. You held the hands of his two youngest, while his oldest showed off the bug he had found hiding in a nearby bush.

It was the way you smiled at them, the way you squeezed the girl's hands a little tighter when they cringed at the bug. The way you bent at the knees to take a better look, and the way your pretty summer dress had risen up just enough for Daichi to sneak a peek at the cotton panties hidden underneath.

Daichi wasn’t blind. In fact, it had been a long time since he indulged himself in a partner. Never enough time, or never willing to bring them home to the kids. But you, you already got along with his babies so well. You took your time to take care of them, even take care of Daichi when you could. Cleaned the house before he got home, ironed his uniform on his night shifts, even brought him coffee when he had early mornings.

So that’s how his glances turned into stares, his roaming eyes turned into winks. The hugs you shared lasted a little longer, the hand he would place on your back would slide a little lower.

He could still remember the very first move he had made. You had fallen asleep on the couch, curled up in one of his sweaters. The kids were put to bed long before, but you always waited for Daichi to return before taking your leave. He had leaned in close, allowing his lips to brush over your forehead. The gentle motion had caused you to stir, tired eyes lazily blinking open to be met with honey brown.

“Why don’t you sleep here tonight?” Daichi had murmured, staying close considering you didn’t push him away. You on the other hand felt your heart beating hard against your ribcage, the smell of his familiar cologne making you feel a bit dizzy. The feeling of sleep slowly faded, replaced with the hazy feeling of need.

Need for him, for anything and everything as long as it was him.

“Can I sleep with you?” It had slipped out of your lips before you could stop yourself. You panicked for a moment seeing his shocked expression, ready to blame it on the tiredness. But there was no need when he pressed his lips against yours when he scooped you off the couch and easily hauled you up into his bedroom.

That was only the beginning. The two of you found yourself kissing in the bathroom while the kids played outside, Daichi having you warm his cock during family movie night. The first time you had whimpered out Daddy while he had you bent over his lap was still engraved in his brain. The longer the affair went on, the more playful and lust-filled it became.

So that's how the two of you ended up here, now.

Daichi had you pinned against the counter now, palm pressed against your head to keep you down while his palm slowly rose up your thigh. He groaned when his fingers slipped under the short hem of your skirt, reaching the swell of your ass only to find no panties there.

“Course I noticed, with how you were bending over all over the place, anyone coulda seen this slutty little ass.” His words were husky, pushed out between gritted teeth as he squeezed the plump skin of your ass. You whined at him, face flushed as your hips wiggled into his palm.

That only made him strike down on your skin, his palm open as the spank clapped throughout the room. “Slutty girls don’t get to be greedy like that. I think I need to put you in your place, is that it? Have you lost all your manners, baby?”

You tried to shake your head, nod, do anything. But your brain was already foggy as Daichi brought down another spank, making the skin of your ass pulse. “Want your cock, Daddy.”

“Oh, yeah? And your way of asking was prancing around with no panties on?” The third slap was the hardest, and this time on your bare flesh. He had bunched your skirt up at your waist, making you jolt from the sudden slap to your skin. His hand print was already forming when he rubbed the cheek, a low hum leaving his chest.

“You’re just like the kids huh? Thinking you can get away with anything if you’re cute enough. Not in this house. You should know that by now baby.” His voice sent shivers all the way down to your cunt, the wetness already threatening to dribble down your thighs. “Hands behind your back.”

You tried to question him, but the fourth spank had you yelping, reminding you that his words were a command and not a request. You felt the cold metal click around both your wrists, a blush rising on your cheeks when you tried to pull your hands away only to find them stuck in place.

“Daddy’s gonna teach his pretty baby what happens to bad little girls looking for attention.”

You were hauled over his shoulder before you even had a chance to complain. Daichi had no problem carrying your squirming body up the stairs, your whines and complaints falling upon deaf ears. When he closed the door to his bedroom he put you on the ground, which only made you whine more as he approached the bed without you.

“Daddy—“

“Get over here.” He explained calmly. His muscles were tense, but his face showed no emotion as he sat on the edge of his bed. When you made no move he rose an expectant brow. “We don’t have all day, would you rather I fuck my fist—“

“No!”

Interrupting him, another act of disobedience that made his brow twitch in distaste. “Get over here.” He repeated, this time his voice a bit deeper, more serious.

You didn’t waste another second, scrambling over on your knees. It was difficult with your hands cuffed, but you made it between his thighs. You were about to press kisses against his thighs before you felt him grab a handful of hair at the nape of your neck. When he cranked your head back you yelped, shoulders slouching at the look he gave you.

Cold.

“Open your mouth.” There was no hesitation this time when your trembling lower lip opened up, tongue poking out. Daichi tsked, grabbing the end of your tongue and pulling it out further. Tears pricked your eyes at the action, drool uncontrollably slipping out of your mouth.

“Being shy now, are we? How can you act so modest when you aren’t even wearing panties.” He spat a wad of saliva on your tongue, his lips twitching in a grin as he watched your eyes flutter, a little mewl leaving your hung lips. He slowly released your tongue but kept his grip on your hair tight. “Don’t swallow. Keep that tongue out.”

You were trembling a bit, trying your best to keep your excitement at bay and hold his spit on your tongue as he unbuckled his slacks. He pulled the belt out in one smooth motion, pulling the material far enough down that his cock could spring free. When it slapped back against his abs, you clenched your thighs together tightly.

He wasted no more time guiding your head onto his cock, pressing it down until your throat bulged, until you gagged, until your nose was nestled in his trimmed pubic hair.

“Now, I’m gonna have to wash this filthy mouth out. Fuck some manners into your throat huh?”

He thrust into your throat without pause, his hand continuing to hold you steady as he fucked into your mouth. The tears were already spilling from your eyes, drool freely bubbling past stretched lips as Daichi used your mouth as he saw fit. He pulled out just until his tip stayed lodged between your lips, groaning at the way you desperately tried to suck in air through your nose. You were already coming undone, and it was so beautiful to watch.

“Crying over a little punishment? You’re such a little bitch.” He waited until you began suckling on his tip, attempting to whine around it before pumping it into your mouth again. He kept one hand against your throat, pupils dilating in feral desire every time he felt it bulge under his fingertips. He didn’t last with a pace like this, his hips stuttering when his release wracked over him hard.

“Swallow every fucking drop, you’re gonna need it to wash out that mouth.” He grunted, holding your face down as ropes of hot cum slipped from his pulsing tip. You shook around his dick, throat clenching so desperately as the hot, sticky substance slid down your throat, feeling warm all the way down into your belly.

Daichi pulled out with a pop, one that had you sucking in a shaky breath. When you blinked the remaining tears from your lashes you lulled your tongue out, showing him a clean surface that had him humming in approval.

“Looks like you are good for something, huh, taking all my cum down your throat.”

Using the grip in your hair he easily hauled you to your feet, watching the way you stumbled face-first into the mattress. Your face was a mess of spit and drool as you looked up at him over your shoulder, hips rutting into his soft sheets. “D-Daddy...”

“D-d-daddy” He mimicked, flipping your skirt up and tucking the hem in at the waist. He wasted no time grabbing your hips, pulling them up for a better angle. “You’re a big girl, use your words.”

You had to compose yourself, mind already going blank as he simply spread your ass apart, getting a better look at your arousal. “C-Can you fuck me please? Need your cock Daddy..”

“Now if you had just asked me like that before, none of this woulda happened Angel...” He sighed it out, two fingers slowly sliding up your puffy slit to collect your slick. He rubbed it along his cock, even though it was already lubed up with your spit. “I don’t like when you misbehave you know that baby girl.”

His voice had already gotten softer, making your cunt flutter around nothing. When he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to your clit you mewled, nails digging into your palms as the cuffs clinked around your trembling wrists. “Gunna say sorry to me hm? Wanna hear you say it nice and pretty.”

“Sorry Daddy, M’sorry” it spilled from your lips, words slightly muffled by the sheets as he rubbed his tip over your slit. “Won’t do it again Daddy, just wanna make you happy, want your cock.”

“I know sweetheart, you’re such a good girl for me, even when you decide to be a little cheeky.”

He began to press into you, slow and steady. He wanted to feel all your little dips, all the bumps and spongy spots he loved so dearly as he bottomed out within you. Your mouth hung open in a little ‘o’, back arching so his tip could tap against your cervix when he finally bottomed out. “Fuck, love this perfect little cunt, still squeezes me like the first time.” He growled out, fingers reaching for the cuffs. He gripped them tightly, used them as leverage for when he began to fuck into you.

It was slow and deep, each thrust meant to press his tip into your sweet spot. The pace had your eyes rolling back, babbles spilling out of your hung lips in a dumb little mantra. It didn’t even make sense, Daichi knew that, but he just loved to hear you. Loved hearing you whimper and ramble about how you loved his cock, about how daddy’s cock felt so good, about how you wanted to be no ones but his.

“My good little girl, takin' my cock so well. Gunna fuck a baby in here one day, would you like that Angel? Wanna be the mommy to my beautiful kids and our own?”

That had you squeezing his cock, a low groan vibrating in his chest as he picked up his pace. The slap of his hips against your ass echoed in the room, your cries of delight being muffled into the sheets. Using his grip on the cuffs he yanked you forward until your back was pressed into his chest. He stuffed two fingers between your lips, having you both moan in unison.

“Keep milkin' my cock just like that baby girl, gunna fill this little cunt and then fuck right back into it so we don’t lose a single drop.” You babbled a ‘yes daddy’ around his fingers, head lulled onto his shoulder as he thrust into your cunt. It was pulsing around him, building up a pool of arousal in your abdomen that was so close to snapping. When his free hand snaked to your clit, rubbing deep circles into it had you sobbing, hips humping frantically to meet his thrusts and chase your release.

“That’s it...” Daichi murmured by your ear, his breath thick and hot as he snapped into your ass. His finger slid from your mouth instead, only to grip your pretty throat. “Cum sweetheart, cum on my cock yea? Wanna feel you cream on me.”

And you did just that, with a silent scream and a jolt of your body finishing around his cock. That final squeeze of your cunt around him had Daichi moaning, his thrusts messy and uncoordinated as his own high ripped through him. His balls twitched as he emptied another load in you, hot cum making goosebumps form all over your skin. He slowed his thrusts, his fingers pressing light taps into your clit now as you rode out the high together. He watched as his cock got coated in a white sheen, the shine of your mixed arousal making him bite his lower lip.

“What a good girl...” He huffed. He reached between you two to release the safety from the handcuffs, allowing them to fall to the bed with a clank. He was gentle as he laid the two of you down, a mess of limbs and sweat as he stayed balls deep in your cunt.

“Gunna stay just like this. Keep you nice and plugged.” He reassured, one palm smoothing over your tummy as he pressed kisses into your shoulder. “At least until the kids wake back up, gotta make sure Daddy’s cum stays inside, isn’t that right baby?”

“Right Daddy,” you murmured out, blissed and fucked out. You could have fallen asleep, just like that with his dick still buried inside. But you knew the kids would be up in thirty minutes from their naps, so you’d enjoy this time while you could, being full.

[lyssismagical]

72 w Parkner pls 🥺

just some bb fluff between the Keener-Parker-Stark family uwu

*

“I'll see you in a few hours, babe,” Morgan says, leaning up to kiss her partner. “I love you.”

Saylor smiles and gently pushes a strand of hair behind Morgan’s ear. “I love you too. Have fun. Tell them I said hi.”

Morgan and Saylor have been together for three years now, having met in Morgan’s third year of college, studying to become a teacher. Saylor’s in med school.

They live together in New York, only a few hours’ drive away from Stark Towers where Harley and Peter live.

She hasn’t had a day off between school and her job as a teaching assistant, not to mention having just gotten a puppy with Saylor who needs constant attention and care.

The drive to Stark Industries is a little boring, traffic a little heavier than usual on a Saturday morning. She feels a little bad about not spending the weekend with her partner who’s also rarely free, but she also hasn’t made the trip to see her family in quite a while.

Harley and Peter are sitting at the breakfast bar, knees touching and Harley’s laughing bright and loud at something Peter must’ve said. They both look tired, despite the weekend beginning, but she knows the business has been under some heat lately.

Peter’s up, out of his seat as soon as he sees her, pulling her into a warm hug. “I’ve missed you, bug. How are you? How’s Saylor? How’s school?”

“Let her breathe, darling,” Harley says, leaning over his husband to ruffle Morgan’s hair. “You want a coffee?”

“Yes, please, traffic was awful.”

Harley smiles and heads off towards the kitchen, leaving Peter to fuss over Morgan.

“You look tired, have you been sleeping alright?”

“Peter, I’m fine, I promise. I’m twenty-four, you don’t need to worry about me like I’m still fourteen.”

He sighs wearily, it’s obvious it hasn’t exactly been an easy week for him. “I know. But you’ll always be my little bug.”

“I’m good, really, Peter. I’m happy.”

Harley returns, pressing an old Iron Man mug into her hands. “How’s Saylor? I miss that kid.”

“They’re good… Busy, that’s for sure. Med school, the internship at the hospital, taking care of Nova. We’ve both been busy, but they’re happy. They’ve got the weekend off to just play with Nova and rest.”

Peter goes to respond, but his phone ringing cuts him off. “Sorry, I should probably… Hello?”

Harley sighs, leading Morgan to the living room. “It’s been complicated lately.”

“I heard, is everything okay?”

“One of our rival companies, they’re fighting dirty and it’s putting a lot of pressure on us. We’ve already lost a few employees, as well as some investors because of them. But we’re making progress and it’ll all blow over soon enough.”

Morgan nods, pulling her knees up to her chest on the couch, tucking herself into the warmth. It’s the same old couch that Tony bought decades ago, there’s a few photographs of her here when she must’ve been two to four years old, her dad holding her in his lap. On one hand, she knows why they haven’t bothered to replace it, every memory of Tony is important to all three of them and seems almost wrong to get rid of anything that belonged to him. But on the other hand, it really is just a couch. An old, worn-leather couch, with rips in the seams and stains along the back.

“Peter looks exhausted,” she says, watching carefully as Harley’s face shifts into worried sadness.

“He is. You know how he gets when it comes to anything surrounding your dad.”

Peter slips into the room, rubbing a hand down his face. “I’ve gotta go. I’m sorry to cut this short, but PR needs one of us downstairs.”

“I’ll get it,” Harley offers, already bringing himself to his feet.

“No, it’s okay. You took the last one. I’ll go, sort this out, I’ll hopefully be back within an hour or two. I’ll bring takeout for lunch, sound good?”

Harley sighs and Morgan knows she makes the exact same expression as he does whenever Saylor picks up extra hours at the hospital or stays up all night to study.

She’s never really known the two of them apart, she was too young to remember them before they got together, way back when they were eighteen and nineteen. They’ve been together ever since, bar the one time in college where they split up for nearly four months, long-distance having become too much for them.

She’s never known Harley without the permanent wrinkle between his brows from the constant worry of dating a selfless superhero. She’s never known Peter without the messy curls, having given up gel and product when Harley convinced him he looked better without it.

When she was young, she always worried that she’d never find love the way her parents did, the way she saw Harley and Peter, so unconditional, so pure, so endless. She worried she wouldn’t find the person who was clearly meant to be her other half like Peter is for Harley and Harley is for Peter.

But then she met Saylor.

“Bye, bug, I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

She hugs Peter goodbye, settling back into the cushions beside Harley.

“How did you know you were going to be with Peter forever?” Morgan asks. She adores the way Harley’s expression goes gentle and nostalgic and loving.

“Peter likes to say that he knew when we met, that very first time, at the cabin. But I don’t think it was ever quite that simple, you know? I knew I loved him when we were in college and he was in Massachusetts while I was in California, and I woke up one day, and found Peter in my dorm room. He’d flown all the way out, on his long weekend, just to spend time with me. He was sitting next to me, reading the book I had to write an essay on so he’d be able to me. It was so simple, so easy, and it was clear, in that moment, that I could do that forever. Wake up next to him, live in simple domesticity with him.”

“And you wanted to do that forever?”

She knows that moment with Saylor, too. They had come home from a long day at school and a long evening at the hospital, and they had picked up her favourite meal for dinner on the way home. They had curled up on the couch together, eaten dinner, and watched a movie, and smiled when Morgan had ranted about the antagonist of the film.

“For as long as he’d have me.”

“And you’ve never once gone back on that?”

Harley shrugs, eyes far away. “I fucked up in college, I nearly ruined the best thing I’d ever had, and that’s the biggest regret I’ll have to carry with me. That’s the only regret I’ll ever have about our relationship, is hurting him and losing four months with him.”

“I think I want to ask Saylor to marry me,” Morgan says. She’s certain about that, but god is she ever nervous. “I love them more than anything.”

“I know.” Harley nudges her with his shoulder. “Every time you talk about them, you get that same look that I see on Peter’s face constantly. And that- that’s a lot. I see it on Saylor’s face too, when they talk about you.”

“You do?”

Harley’s smile widens. “I do. It’s clear how much that kid loves you. And if you’re even a fraction as sure as I was when I proposed, then you should go for it.”

“How did you do it?”

“It’s about as dramatic as you’d expect from us. He was-” Harley stops, swallows visibly. “He was dying. He’d been hurt while on a mission and I was there, I was holding him and he was- he was dying. Bucky had to physically restrain me while Sam got him to help… It was the most scared I’d ever been.”

“He was okay, though.”

“Yeah, somehow he always is. He was in that goddamn hospital bed and he was so high on pain killers and I just, I asked him to marry me.”

“That simple?”

“That simple.”

Morgan laughs a little. “And he said yes?”

“He did. He said yes. And when he was released from the hospital, he laughed so hard he cried because he couldn’t believe that’s how I asked him.”

And god does Morgan ever want that with Saylor. She loves her partner like crazy, loves them to the moon and back, she never wants to go another day without them, she doesn’t want to spend another second without being able to call her partner, her fiancé.

“I want to marry Saylor,” she says again.

Harley grins. “I’m proud of you.”

“For being in love?”

“For being unapologetically you and going after what you want.”

Morgan leans into Harley, his arm coming up to wrap around her shoulders. “You think they’ll say yes?”

“No question about it, kid.”

“If they do…” She trails off nervously. “Would you and Peter walk me down the aisle?”

Harley presses a kiss to her temple. “We would love to. And I’m sure we could have Nova trained to be a ring bearer in no time.”

Morgan laughs at the thought of her clumsy, bouncy little puppy trying to do anything with finesse.

Peter returns with lunch a little while later.

As soon as he walks in, he drops the bags down on the table and says, “I want a baby.”

“What?” Harley lets out a little surprised laugh and Morgan bursts into giggles at the absurdity.

“Quinn brought her baby in for the meeting because she couldn’t get a babysitter in time,” Peter explains, pouting childishly. “And I want one.”

Harley shakes his head, more dumbfounded than disagreeing. “You want a baby.”

“I want a baby,” he repeats. “I want a little tiny thing with ten fingers and ten toes and a beating heart.”

Morgan laughs again, walking up to hug Peter. “God, I missed how absolutely crazy you are.”

“Okay, darling, how about you eat some food and we’ll talk some more later?”

It’s not a no and Peter grins triumphantly.

“When did you know that you wanted to be with Harley forever?” Morgan asks before she can stop herself.

Peter’s smile widens and he looks to Harley with the softest, most lovestruck eyes she’s ever seen. “I was fifteen.”

“Fifteen? You were seventeen when we met.”

Peter slides a hand over Harley’s shoulder, tucking himself into his husband’s side. “I was fifteen and I was here with Tony. Right here, actually. We were having a lab night and he mentioned something about a potato gun kid. And I asked him to tell me about you. About dumbass Harley Keener who didn’t know when to stop, who was talkative and loud and sarcastic and annoying. Harley who helped save Tony’s life. And I thought, wow, if anybody would know what it feels like to be me, it’d be Harley.”

“Really?”

“I googled you later that day and I scrolled through your mom’s entire facebook, wondering just who was special enough to stay in Tony’s head for so long, so fresh. I told Ned, I said to him, I’m gonna meet this kid and I’m going to marry him one day because who else is worthy of my love than somebody who could save Tony Stark’s life.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m not! It’s all true. Ask Ned, he’ll tell you.”

Harley rolls his eyes in pure adoration. “You never told me that.”

“I was embarrassed and then it didn’t seem relevant anymore.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting to learning things about you, Parker.”

Peter grins up at him. “Like how I want to have a baby?”

“You two would be amazing dads,” Morgan says, almost shyly. That part of their relationship isn’t talked about very much, how they might as well have raised Morgan, filled in the spot that her dad left when she was so young. “Any kid would be lucky to have you.”

“Thanks, bug,” Peter murmurs.

“If you take tomorrow off, we’ll start researching, alright?” Harley bargains. A day off is hard to come by with Peter, but with an ultimatum like that, Peter can’t possibly say no.

Peter kisses him in response.

April Parker is the flower girl at Saylor and Morgan’s wedding that fall.

Taglist: @littlemissagrafina @spideyspeaches @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @misskirkstark @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @kitkatwinchester @emo-girl10 @hold-our-destiny @imalivebecauseirondad @spiderman-peterman @dykeragee @maryserrao @heeeyitskay @parknerandirondad @lilacsandlilies4 @loveliestdisappointment @joyful-soul-collector @genderfluid-and-confuzled @fallenstar07 @gyurolls @sdottkrames @you-did-it-sir @not-today-thx @fandomstuffff

{Let me know if you wanna be added or removed}

[blessednereid]

LFLLLL Prologue: Mutual Pining

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

WC: 3.5k

Taglist: @rogershoe

~

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        Lydia's House

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"Lydiaaaaaa!" You had barged into Lydia's house unannounced that afternoon. You had work that afternoon, but you called in sick, not physically, but emotionally. And only Lydia could help you. 

"LYDIA LORRAINE MARTIN!"

"Y/n, what's wrong?" Lydia's mom, Natalie, had come out of her office because of your shouts.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Martin, I didn't realize you were home. Your car wasn't in the driveway," you apologized.

"It's fine, dear. Lydia's upstairs taking a nap. You know how much of a heavy sleeper she is."

"Thank you, Mrs. Martin."

"Please, I've told you many times. Call me Natalie."

You nodded before heading upstairs, where Lydia's room was. 

You opened her door, and as you thought, she was lying on the bed, snoring and drooling. A sight you had gotten very used to since you first met her in third grade. 

"Lydia Lorraine Martin. We have a code-red!"

Immediately, Lydia jolted up from her bed and began flailing her arms in the air. She lost balance before falling off the side. 

"Oh, MY- Ugh." You went to help her sit back upright on the bed, sat next to her, and laid your head in her lap. 

"Y/n, what's wrong? Why did you wake me up?"

"We have a code red!!"

'Code reds' were what you and Lydia had when you caught real feelings for a guy. 

When you were younger and in middle school, Lydia had gotten a crush on the cutest guy in your math class. 

On Valentines Day, she wrote him a card and put it in his locker. The card said, "I think you're cute♡︎ What do you think about me?" Later that same day, she found out that almost all of the kids in your two's class had read the card. And on top of that, the guy was a huge jerk about it. 

Since then, you and Lydia vowed to never catch feelings for anyone until you were at least twenty-five. 

"Who is it, babe? What happened?" Lydia asked with a concerned tone. 

"It's Isaac."

"Your partner for the World History project?" 

"Yeah, him," you sighed. "We started getting closer, and he started talking to me, and we bonded over our moms' death, and there were carnival rides and vampires and freezy pops!"

"Woah, Woah, Woah! Slow down!"

"So basically, I did what you told me and took him to the county carnival, right? Then, he told me about his mom dying, and we talked about that, and then we went on rides and fought about their pace, and he was fine after like a two-hundred-foot drop. So then, we went on a rollercoaster, and after that, I was cold because I was wearing a light jacket."

"Okay, keep going…"

"So then he warmed me up by giving me a hug and then led me in the building, and we just hung out there until like five? Then when we were doing the slideshow, he started asking me about my room and shit, and when we were done, we watched that show I told you about, with the high school vampires."

"Oh, the babysitter one?"

"Yeah, that. So, he was actually interested. And then we just kept watching it together throughout the week since we finished the project. And then when we were presenting today, you know I have that stage fright. He just held my hand and calmed me down, and he listened to me after we were done, and he actually cared about it instead of dismissing it.

"Not that you dismiss it, Lydia." She nodded. 

"Anyways, after that, GB had to talk to us, and she ratted me out about writing his name down, and then he got slightly mad at me but not really, and then I explained. And he just told me he would see me tomorrow for our movie night…" you trailed off, debating whether you should tell her the last part.

"So that's when you realized?"

"After that, I turned away, and then he kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, 'see you tomorrow or something like that!"

Lydia chuckled. "So you have a code red?"

"Lydia, I have a hang-out with him tomorrow. I'm not gonna be able to fucking think straight!" 

"Babe, just go and see how it goes. Maybe it's a 24-hours thing, you know? Just adrenaline. It affected you like this because you don't go out."

"Lyds, it's not like that. It's different."

"Y/n, that's what I tell myself before every hookup," she deadpanned.

"Okay, yeah. You're right. It's just a 24-hour thing."

"It's just adrenaline, babes. Nothing more, nothing less."

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  Movie Night

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'Nothing more, nothing less…"

Those were the words that kept repeating in your head as you twisted Isaac's hair around your fingers around Isaac's hair as his head rested in your lap.

"Y/n, are you okay?"

You blinked rapidly.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine!" 

"It's just, you're not watching the show?" 

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something."

"Whatever you say, princess…" 

Princess. The pet name made your heart flutter, and you thought you would explode. 

"Give me a minute, please!" was all you said before picking up your phone and dashing out the room.

You headed to the bathroom and dialed Lydia's number right after texting her "Code Red Emergency."

"It's not a 24-hours thing, is it?" she said when she picked up.

"No…"

"Okay, here's what we're gonna do…"

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 Previous Day

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╭╼|══════════|╾╮

       Isaac

╰╼|══════════|╾╯

He watched you as you turned around. His nerves crawled through his spine, and he curled and unfurled his fingers before finding the confidence–, no, before finding the ability to move.

When his lips touched the side of your face, his heart was set aflame. 

'How did I just do that?' he thought. But entirely different words came out of his mouth. 

"See you," he said, and he internally pumped the air when he saw your lips curl upwards into a smile.

When he reached class, his actions had finally sunk into his mind. 

He went to his seat where his friend, Dillon Karis, sat beside him. Dillon was the only friend of Isaac, and they had known each other since middle school. 

"Dude!"

Dillon turned his head to his friend, whose urgent tone caught his attention.

"You know that girl I was telling you about?" Isaac said enthusiastically.

Dillon scoffed. "You mean the one who's been taking up all your Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday nights?

"Yeah, I remember her."

Isaac rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Dude, I think I may actually like her…"

"Holy—" Isaac cut him off.

"Shut up!"

Dillon took two breaths to calm down before speaking.

"Explain. Now!"

Isaac threw his head back.

"I don't know. It's just the way she makes me feel." He smiled. "It's like… the way my mom used to tell me about how she felt about my dad? It's weird."

"Bro, you barely know her. Are you sure?" 

"No, I'm not sure, but I think."

"Well, let me know. This is interesting. Shoulda brought some popcorn today, as I had planned," Dillon burst out laughing, and Isaac followed.

"Dude, I have to go to her house tomorrow."

"Why? I thought you already turned in the project." 

"We have our movie night," Isaac said before realizing what that might sound like to his friend. 

"Oh shit! So y'all already been going on dates?"

"No! No…" Isaac pointed his finger at his friend, signaling him to stop.

"Dude, so what are you gonna do?" 

"I don't know…"

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Movie Night

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Isaac was now highly flustered as he laid his head in your lap. You didn't bring up the kiss, so he assumed he either made you uncomfortable or you didn't like him enough to care. 

He looked at your face to see if there were any signals or indications, but he saw that you were completely zoned out. 

"Y/n, are you okay?"

You blinked before saying, "Oh yeah, I'm fine." 

Isaac raised his eyebrows before turning his attention back to the television. 

When you dashed out the room with little explanation, Isaac took his emotional matters into his own hands. He had decided to get rid of his feelings, sure that they were unrequited.

He headed out of your room and knocked on Stiles' door. 

"Come in!" he heard faintly, and he opened the door.

"Isaac, what's up?" Stiles had barely looked up from his work.

"I know we don't know each other that well, but I need some advice, and I figured that you probably know a lot about girls…"

"Not really, but I'm flattered you would think that. Please come in!"

Isaac stepped into the room and sat on Stiles' bed.

"Is this fine?" to which Stiles nodded.

"So, Isaac. Tell me what's going on," Stiles said before clasping his hands together. 

Isaac took multiple deep breaths. He was about to ask your brother how to get rid of his feelings for you. Who does that?

"I have a crush… on this girl. And I know that she doesn't like—" 

"You know, or you think?" 

"I think, but she's given no sign of liking me…"

"Okay, continue."

"She doesn't like me. And I was wondering if you knew if there was anything I could do to… get rid of the feelings I have…"

"Oh boy. Isaac, I wish I knew. I'm in that same position. However! I wouldn't tell you if I did know. Because you never know, right? Unless they've told you that they don't like you, you don't know for sure. And even then, it could happen in the future."

That was not the advice Isaac was hoping for, preferring to put himself out of his misery before he could get in it. 

"Alright, thanks, Stiles."

"No problem, bud!" 

Isaac walked back to your room, where you were laid down on your back. 

"Hey, where did you go?" 

"Nowhere, I just needed to… uh.. get some air." 

You squint your eyes, and even Isaac wasn't convinced by his lie, but he didn't say anything else before he laid beside you. 

"Lydia is having a party next Saturday. You should come."

"Oh, I don't think—"

"Please, Isaac? It'll be good for you to get out of your house like Mrs. GB said."

He couldn't resist the tug on his heart when you flashed your pouting eyes, and he had to give in.

"Fine, I'll see what I can do. That's not a promise." 

"Yay!" You exclaimed before pressing a kiss to his forehead. The action made Isaac's heart race, and all he wanted to do at that moment was kiss you. 

In fact, it was all he thought of for the next few minutes. 

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Isaac's Daydream

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"Love?" 

"Yes, babe?" you responded to him. 

"This is the spot. Stop going ahead of me." 

You mouthed an "Oh" before laying down on the blanket he set by the flowerbed. 

"So, whose house are we breaking into right now, Mr. Lahey?" you teased. You and Isaac were sitting in the backyard of a foreign house you had never seen, but you followed Isaac anyways.

"Yours."

You scoffed a 'what' as you had never seen the house in your life.

"Mines. Ours." He smirked.

Your face of pleasant surprise made his racing heart slow, as he thought you wouldn't like it. 

"This is our house?" 

"Well, it was my grandparent's house. They left it to me when they died. They said I can only get it when I turn 18, and now since we're together, It's our house."

You leaped onto his lap and kissed him feverishly. 

"This is the best surprise ever!"

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Reality

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"Isaac!" You yelled, and Isaac didn't know what you had said before. 

"Sorry! I just zoned out."

"It's not a problem."

╭╼|══════════|╾╮

You

╰╼|══════════|╾╯

"So, do you want to watch a scary movie?" 

You actually weren't planning on doing any of what Lydia had suggested you do, which was to just come outright and tell him you like him. 

Instead, you chose to suffer in silence, thinking there was no way possible that Isaac liked you back. And even if he had, you two would be better off as friends… Right?

At least that is what you chose to tell yourself.

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Isaac Leaves

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When the movie was over, Isaac went home, and you prepared for bed. 

That night you dreamt of things you wanted in your life that you couldn't have. 

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Your Dream

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"Hey, Isaac?"

You two were curled up together on a couch watching a movie, much like your reality. However, a few things were different.

"What are we having for dinner?"

"Babe, we're in a hotel, and the only restaurants have a pre-set menu. If you want food, you either get what they have, or we Postmates." 

"But neither sounds good. I want Pasta!" 

He sighed. "Then lets Postmates pasta, babe."

"But I want you to make it," you pouted. 

"Okay, how about this." You turned to face him to hear his proposition. 

"I get you dessert with the food they have here, and I make you pasta tomorrow?" 

You smiled and wrapped an arm around his neck.

You hummed before saying, "That sounds perfect," and he kissed you with a burning passion.

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       Morning

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"Y/N! WAKE UP!" Stiles woke you up from your dream. 

"WHERE'S THE FIRE?" You flailed around before falling off the bed. 

Stiles chuckled loudly. 

"MIECZYSŁAW STILINSKI!

"IT'S A FUCKING SUNDAY!" 

You groaned loudly before grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him, effectively knocking him down but not ceasing his laughter.

"Relax, Relax! Dad's taking us out for breakfast."

You rolled your eyes heavily. "Ugh, I hate you. GO! Let me change!"

"Wait! Wait! I have a question…"

"What?" 

"What's going on between you and Lahey?"

You looked down and away from him. "Nothing," you murmured. 

When you looked back at him, his eyes were narrowed, and his forehead was crinkled. 

"I don't believe you one bit."

Your face heated. 

"There's nothing going on, Stiles."

He scoffed. "We may be fraternal, but we're still twins, Y/n. Whatever, I don't like him anyway."

"Why not, Sti?"

He moved his face closer to yours, and you craned your head back for air. 

"Because I'm your brother, I'm never gonna like any guy you date. None of them are worthy of my sister."

"Well, you don't have to hate him because nothing is going on."

"Hmmm... Sure," he stated simply before walking out. 

You got ready, wearing an off-shoulder baby blue top that was slightly… starchy in texture, as well as a pink plaid miniskirt and black slip-on sneakers. 

When you got downstairs, your dad and Stiles sighed a heavy "finally," and you mocked offense. 

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Waffle House

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You got in the car and began driving. You looked out the window enjoying all the sights while Stiles tried to coax your dad into talking about cases. 

Your dad turned and pulled into the parking lot of the Waffle House.

You sat at the counter and talked until someone came to get your drinks order. 

"So, Stiles, when are you going to bring a date home?" your dad asked with a squint. 

"Not anytime soon, He's still stuck on Lydia."

Stiles blushed. "Well, I mean, It's working. She knows who I am. "

"No, she doesn't. But… I do know this girl—" Stiles cut you off. 

"If it's not Lydia, then no, thank you. I'm stuck on her like white on rice."

Your dad interjected your argument. "Stiles, you sound like a stalker. Normally, we arrest people like you."

"Okay, Let's change the subject. Y/n, wanna tell dad about Isaac or should I?" 

You rolled your eyes. "Why should I? There's nothing going on?"

"Wait, who's Isaac?" your dad said while whirling his hand beside his head. 

"He was my partner for a project I had for World History."

Stiles laughed. "We presented on Friday. What have you guys been doing in your room?"

Your dad's eyes widened. "Why is he in your room?" 

"We just watch movies, Dad! We do nothing else!" 

"I highly doubt that. In fact, why don't I ask Isaac right now?" 

You blanched. "What do you mean?"

"He's coming up behind us," he said, looking past your head. 

You began choking when you saw him in your peripheral version. 

"Can I get you something t- Stiles!" Isaac popped up from behind you and began to ask for your drink orders. 

"Hey, Isaac," you said as you turned around. 

"Hey, Y/n!" His intonation was normal, his facial expression was off. 

╭╼|══════════|╾╮

Isaac

╰╼|══════════|╾╯

"What do you want to drink?" he asked, though his focus was on your dad's squinted gaze pointed directly at him. 

"Can I get a coffee?" Noah spoke up first. Isaac jotted down his order.

Stiles followed. 

"I'll get an Arnold Palmer!" he said while raising his hand. 

"Is that on the menu?" Isaac asked confusedly.

"No, but it's half of a lemonade, half of an iced tea in one glass."

"Okay… Arnold Palmer." 

"Y/n," the lovestruck boy said with a smile. "What about you?" 

The corners of your mouth turned up. "It's not on the menu, but is there an option for an iced coffee?" 

"Uh, I'm sure there is." He knew there wasn't, but he also knew you didn't like hot coffee much. 

"Are you sure? I don't want to--"

"It's fine, Y/n," he reassured.  

He walked away and headed to the kitchen to tell the cooks the drink order. 

"I need an iced coffee, a regular coffee, and A half-and-half lemonade-iced tea. Please," he added. 

Isaac glanced outside the kitchen window and gazed at you softly. He admired the way your eyes glimmered in the sun and how your hair bounced with every gesture you made. From this, he began to appreciate how amazing your hair looked and how the light refracted off of it. 

He smiled a lopsided grin as he watched the way your lips move. He imagined how they would feel on his. Soft. Smooth. He had the notion that you were probably experienced in that field, more so than he was. 

No. He couldn't imagine that. When he thought about the things he just thought, it sounded creepy and perverted. Besides, there was no way that you liked him back, so even thinking about it would just lead to further heartbreak. 

He grabbed your table's drinks and walked back, trying to ignore your smile because he couldn't stop the race that his heart ran whenever he saw it.

"Alright, here are your drinks."

"Isaac, can I talk to you outside?" asked Stiles.

"I'm actually working, so I can't do that. But, I can take your orders."

He jotted down each of your orders and went back to the kitchens.

╭╼|══════════|╾╮

            You

╰╼|══════════|╾╯

"Stiles, I swear to God, I'm gonna hurt you."

"Not my fault you're over here pining after Lahey but won't do anything about it."

"Up your ass and off your high horse, Stiles!" You did your best to be quiet with your statement, but your dad still heard. 

"Hey, hey!"

"Sorry, Dad," you and Stiles said simultaneously. 

You watched the cooks prepare the food in front of you, but you hoped to see Isaac somehow, even though he was in the back.

You thought about his messy hair and how it felt in-between your fingers... How his eyes dilated with each smile, and the tiny specks of green in those ocean blue eyes were always able to calm you down.

You noticed how his lips were never chapped and how his cheeks looked like apples when he smiled, and the one dimple that was prominent in those moments as well. 

You wondered if this was how Lydia felt for the boy that caused their entire concept of code reds or if you began to feel something much more for the boy with the shy demeanor and quiet voice. 

When Isaac came back, you thought about how you could try to confess your feelings. But, you knew that if Isaac was barely willing to talk to you for a long time, it would be a snowball's chance in hell that he liked you the same way. 

"Alright, here's your waffles and your hash-browns, Y/n. Your sandwich, Sheriff, and your All-Star breakfast, Stiles."

"Thank you, Isaac," you said with a smile.

He turned to leave before you called out. 

"Um, Isaac!" He spun around on his heel at your calling with a questioning look on his face. 

He walked back towards you, prepared to write something else down on his order pad. 

"Movie night, tomorrow?"

He smiled. "Yeah, sure." 

"Dorota, you cannot tell me you do not like him."

"Mieczysław, I do not." 

Your dad cut in. "Sweetheart, and if you do?"

"I don't. Can we just leave it at that?" 

~

[h0tch-r0cket]

Infatuation (18+) {a.h.} : chapter 8

summary: you needed a job. aaron hotchner needed a babysitter. the rest was inevitable.

word count: 4.9K

warnings: explicit language, building tension, drinking alcohol

table of contents

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hey Esmé? Are you up? I really need you right now," you called out through her bedroom door. You shifted your weight on the balls of your feet, knocking on her door.

Aaron had just dropped you off at your apartment, leaving you stunned at the fact that the two of you almost kissed in his car. You had to talk to someone about it otherwise you were certain you would have spontaneously combusted on the spot. You threw your head in your hands in frustration and let out a frustrated groan as you knocked on her door, this time a little bit harder than the first.

"Esmé, please." Artemis was at your heels and she barked at the door, as if she was trying to help you out and get Esmé's attention.

Aggravated mumbling from behind the door grabbed your attention as you heard Esmé shuffling her feet on the floor. When it opened, she was rubbing her eye with one hand and waving her finger around at you with the other.

"I swear to God, Y/N, this better be life or death because I am exhausted. I had some guy puke on me at the ER on my shift and I'm not in the mood to deal with-"

"He tried to kiss me in his car after his lecture," you blurted out to interrupt her rambling.

She stopped rubbing her eyes, looking at you with the one uncovered eye extremely wide. "I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?" She took a step closer to you, still keeping her one hand on top of her eye.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. "Aaron. He tried to kiss me today after the lecture."

Esmé quickly grabbed onto your hand and dragged you into her room, making you sit down on her bed. She stood in front of you and was pacing back and forth, her face contorted in disbelief and confusion.

"Aaron...tried...to...kiss...you," she said slowly as if she was taking a moment to process what you just told her.

"Yes, Esmé. It was after his lecture before he dropped me off here." Esmé continued to pace in front of you, holding her chin in her hand.

"Aaron tried to kiss you," she said faster.

"Esmé. I know. Focus here, please. I literally don't know what the fuck to do with myself right now," you said, a hint of annoyance in your voice. You knew that it was a lot to take in and quite frankly, you were still reeling from the moment yourself.

"How the fuck did that even happen?" Esmé asked as she finally gave you her undivided attention.

"It just sort of came out of the blue," you told her. "Well, maybe not that out of the blue the more that I think about it."

"Why's that?"

"He said some things during the lecture and I am pretty positive that they were supposed to be directed at me. Or I guess how he feels about me," you explained. Esmé squatted down in front of you, resting her hands on your thighs.

"What the hell did he say in the lecture?"

You briefly told Esmé about how he kept looking at you during that one specific part of the lecture, how Zeus didn't care about what people thought and that he just wanted to be with the woman he loved.

"He said that in front of everybody?" she asked, her eyes widening in shock.

"Yeah, E. That's why I'm trying not to read too much into it because it was a lecture after all. But it just felt so real."

Esmé let out a small laugh and stood up. "Y/N, I told you this man was smitten. Look at him! He almost kissed you in his car. Jesus fucking Christ. It's like he got smacked upside the head and is finally growing a set to not just tell you how he feels but to show you how he feels."

"I'm trying not to get my hopes up," you said quietly, the lingering uncertainty rattling around in your head.

Esmé looked down at you and furrowed her brows. "Wait. You said tried to kiss you? How do you try to kiss someone and not actually kiss them? I mean it's not that hard. You just have to-"

"Esmé," you said, cutting her off from her impending rant again as you heard the excited yet confused tone in her voice. "He got a call from Jack's school so he had to take it."

Esmé flopped down on the bed next to you on her back and stared up at the ceiling. "So you're telling me that it literally was like a scene out of a fucking movie? Oh my god, Y/N," she said excitedly as she held her face in her hands.

You shrugged your shoulders, twiddling your fingers in your lap. "I guess it was kind of cliché. But, God, E, when I tell you I felt like the world was completely stopped around us when he was moving his head closer to me," you said, exhaling deeply.

Esmé propped herself up on her elbows and a smirk grew on her face. "How about next time you see him, you just go for the gusto. Fucking grab him by the collar or something and just go for it."

You laughed at Esmé's so-called advice, rolling your eyes.

"I mean come on. He clearly has a thing for you already and you sure as hell do too, so might as well reassure his thoughts and feelings by sealing the deal and finish what you started in his car," she continued. She sat up on the edge of her bed next to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "And you know just for your sanity, and mine," she muttered as she spoke. Esmé grabbed onto your chin and turned your head to look at her. "Turn your fucking phone off," she said, sending you a death glare as she still held on to your face.

"Noted," you said, laughing lightly as she poked you on your nose, letting go of your face. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you grabbed it quickly, hoping it was the person you needed to hear from the most.

                                     Aaron Hotchner

-Hey, Y/N. Just wanted to let you know that I am keeping Jack home from school tomorrow. Don't worry about coming here to watch him. I took off for the day to make sure he's doing alright.

-And thanks again for coming to my lecture. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

                                -Tell Jack I hope that he feels better soon!

"Oh my god, did he ask you out yet? Was that what that message was?" Esmé asked excitedly.

You shook your head no and put your phone away. "Jack is sick so I'm not going over there tomorrow."

"Well that's not the worst thing in the world. Now you have an extra day to figure things out." She paused, giving your leg a reassuring squeeze. "And now I have the next day to help you come up with a plan to seduce Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome."

"I don't think that will be necessary," you laughed lightly, not wanting Esmé to meddle in whatever was going on with Aaron.

"Me making the plan? Yeah, probably not. But you definitely have to get into his pants," she encouraged. "Don't let this one get away from you."

"I'm not planning on it."

-----

Your days off flew by and before you knew it, you were back to your daily routine of watching the young Hotchner.

"How are you feeling, buddy?" you asked Jack as he wrapped his arms around your legs when you picked him up from the bus stop.

"A lot better. I slept a lot yesterday and the day before. I missed school though," he said as he looked up at you from around your waist. "But it's okay. Ms. Kingston told me not to worry about my work or anything." He let go of you and you began to walk towards the Hotchner home.

Your usual game of pebble kicking commenced as Jack told you about his school day.

"Hey Y/N?" he asked as he hopped up the stairs to the porch.

"Yeah, Jack?"

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at you as you grabbed the key to the house from your pocket. "I missed you while I was sick."

You smiled, ruffling his hair. "I missed you, too." You unlocked the door and headed inside, being greeted by the German Shepherd who was eagerly anticipating someone coming home to be with him.

Jack gave Buster his usual scratches behind the ear before going to do his homework at the kitchen table.

You settled down on the couch, still trying to figure out how exactly you were going to bring up the whole almost kiss incident later on with Aaron later on when he got home from work.

It was all you thought about the past two days, keeping you up at night. With Esmé practically interrogating you every time she saw you, you were growing more anxious to talk to him. You worried that there was a lapse of judgement. That he was just caught up in the moment.

But you hoped that wasn't the case.

You hoped that that was his overall intention. That he did want to kiss you. That the words he spoke during his lecture, although they were about the myth, that they applied to the situation that the two of you currently found yourselves in. The words seemed too real, too thought out to only be about the way that the story went. And the fact that his mannerisms in the lecture changed when he was talking about the desire to be with someone and that he didn't care what others thought. He went from glancing around the room and pacing in front of all of his students to stopping dead in his tracks and looking at you.

You could vividly remember how his eyes were searching yours in the lecture hall, as if he was hinting that it all was about you. That it always had been about you.

As you sat on the couch and tried to process everything and think of what you were going to say to Aaron, you were interrupted by the young Hotchner plopping down on the couch next to you.

"Y/N, I'm hungry," he said as he twiddled with his fingers.

"What are you in the mood for?" You turned your attention towards the boy as you propped up your elbow on the back of the couch.

"Can we make pizza together?" he asked softly.

"Make pizza?" You were shocked at his request, not expecting him to want to make his own dinner.

"Yeah. It would be fun and delicious." He smiled softly at you, and you knew he was going to win. That kid was slowly leaving a lasting impression on you, one that you never expected. You truly cared about him the more you spent time with him and you wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

You glanced at your watch quickly to get a gauge on the time. "We probably won't have enough time to make our own sauce but we can buy it from your favorite pizza place and still make everything else like the dough. Does that sound good to you, buddy?"

"Yeah!" he hollered in excitement. You gave him a quick high five, an agreement on the plan for the night.

"Give me a few minutes to check to see what Dad has in the kitchen for the dough and toppings and then we'll head out to the store for everything else," you told Jack as you got up from the couch.

"Thanks, Y/N!"

"Of course, Jack."

————

After your successful shopping trip to the grocery store and the pizza place, you and Jack were back home prepping the kitchen for your pizza making night.

"Alright, Jack. Ready to start?" you asked, looking at the ingredients scattered on the counter.

Jack nodded in excitement from across the counter and eagerly awaited your instructions.

You helped him measure out everything for the dough and had him start to mix it together while you grated the fresh block of mozzarella cheese to use for your pizzas. And of course, according to Jack, no pizza night would have been complete without pepperoni for the topping so you were going to cut that up as well.

"Okay, Y/N. The dough is all done," Jack said as he wiped his hands off above the counter. He looked adorable as ever, his shirt lightly coated in a bit of flour and a couple little white spots of flour on his face.

"Nice work, Jack," you said as you put down the cheese, figuring you grated enough. You passed Jack a sliver of the pepperoni, taking one for yourself. "Always fun to snack while you're cooking."

He nodded, leaning across the counter awaiting your next instruction. You cleared the countertop of everything besides the bowl of dough by Jack.

"Step one," you said dramatically, trying to get Jack even more excited, "is to put some flour on the counter." You took a pinch of the flour in between your fingers and sprinkled it onto the counter where the two of you were going to work. Jack followed your lead and sprinkled some flour on the counter too.

"Why are we doing this?" he asked curiously.

"It's so the dough doesn't get too sticky on the counter." He let out a small oh as you grabbed the bowl of dough in front of him. "Are we doing little pizzas for everyone or one big one to share?"

Jack tapped his finger on his chin, taking an ample amount of time to think about his decision as if the world depended upon it. "Little ones," he decided.

"Alright, well in that case we have to split the dough evenly." You grabbed the nearby knife and cut the dough into 3 equal parts, one for you, Jack, and Aaron.

"Now what?" Jack asked.

"We have to knead the dough," you explained as you placed one of the sections of dough on the counter where you had sprinkled the flour. You rolled the dough around for a second to coat it in the flour and watched as Jack stared at you, mesmerized at what you were doing.

You rolled the dough on the counter, working to get the air bubbles out of the dough. You kneaded it for a few minutes until you heard the familiar car alarm chirp in the driveway.

"Dad's home?" Jack asked, clearly not expecting his father to be home so soon.

You glanced at the time to see that Aaron was home about two hours earlier than you had anticipated. "I guess so," you said as you heard the front door open.

You continued to work the dough as Aaron came into the kitchen.

"Wow, what's going on here?" he asked as he leaned against the entrance of the kitchen.

"Making pizza," Jack said simply.

"Mhm," Aaron hummed. "Who's idea was that?"

"It was mine," the young Hotchner admitted happily. "I'll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom."

"Make sure you wash your hands good if you're going to be making this pizza," Aaron called out as Jack ran down the hallway.

You chuckled lightly at Jack's unnecessary announcement as you continued to roll the dough around on the counter. You glanced over to see Aaron watching you work the dough. He furrowed his brows as you worked, pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.

"Can I help you?" you teased, clearly catching him watching you.

Aaron let out a light laugh, coming over to where you and Jack had been cooking. "Nothing, I just—" He paused and clicked his tongue. "It's nothing."

You brushed a strand of hair off your forehead with the back of your hand and looked at him, wondering what he was talking about. "No, what was it?" you asked.

"You're doing too much to the dough," he told you, raising his eyebrows as his way of pointing towards it.

You scoffed playfully, feigning a hurt expression at his comment. "Well, Mr. Chef Boyardee, how should we be kneading the dough then?"

Aaron rolled up the sleeves on his dress shirt and you watched as he came around the counter.

You definitely weren't expecting what was coming next.

Aaron stood behind you, pressing his front against your back as he wrapped his arms around your body, his forearms boxing yours in. He placed his hands on top of yours, starting to guide your hands in rolling the dough. His hands covered yours completely, manipulating their movements to continue to knead the dough. He moved his head next to yours, keeping a watchful eye on the workspace in front of you. You felt the warmth radiating off his body as he continued to stand behind you.

"You don't have to work it so much," he whispered into your ear. You shivered at the closeness, trying not to lose your composure as Aaron continued to move your hands, now in a more circular motion to work on getting the dough to be the right shape and to have a bit of a crust.

"The less you keep kneading it, the better," he continued. You leaned back against him, falling into a state of intoxication because of the whole incident that was unraveling.

You couldn't form any coherent words. Or any other thought than the fact that you wanted Aaron to take you right then and there on the countertop. It took all your willpower not to moan in the moment, even though you felt at any moment one would slip past your lips.

Aaron could feel the way your body tensed when he first came up behind you. He thought that maybe you felt uncomfortable in the situation. But then as your body relaxed underneath his touch, he figured you were enjoying the moment just as much as he was.

He didn't want to ever let you go. The feeling of your body pressed against his was permanently engraved in his mind.

He wanted more.

He was tired of running around his feelings. He was determined to talk to you about everything.

"Aaron," you muttered out, practically breathless as he stayed behind you even though the pizza dough had long been stagnant on the counter. Now, it was only the two of you pressed against each other, both of your hands locked together on top of one another on the counter.

"Hm?" he hummed as he leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

"We need to talk later," you said, feeling overwhelmed by the closeness of him. You knew that you had to talk to him about the events of the past few days and if you didn't stop him now, you wouldn't have been able to help yourself.

"Whatever you want," he muttered as he pressed another kiss underneath your earlobe.

As much as you didn't want him to, Aaron let go of you and you could still feel the way he was pressed up against you. You could subtly make out the mildly toned muscles that were hidden underneath his dress shirt and you imagined what they looked like, how they would have felt underneath your fingertips.

You tried to shake the thoughts from your head but to no avail.

You stood there practically frozen as Jack skipped back into the kitchen. "Okay! I think I can make my pizza now. I think I'm going to be an expert," he asserted.

"I'm sure you are, buddy," Aaron said as he washed his hands in the sink.

"Alright Jack. Let's get going," you told him, feeling your cheeks blush thinking about what just happened.

You were truly in deep shit and there was no going back.

————

"Can we play a game now?" Jack pleaded as the three of you just got done eating the pizzas.

"Go pick one out," Aaron said as he wiped his mouth off with his napkin.

Jack ran up to his room, leaving you and Aaron alone. Again.

He cleared his throat as he took a sip of his wine. He placed the glass down in front of you and clasped his hands together, his honey eyes glancing at you. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked.

You took a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself for the impending conversation. "Well to start, I guess, I want to ask you something."

"Anything."

"Now this may be my brain just over analyzing but in, uh, light of recent events we'll say," you started, trying to phrase everything the best you could, "the day at your lecture. I know you were talking about the myth of Zeus and Io. But I just... the words seemed to be saying more than just that. Am I overthinking or was there actually something behind all of that?"

"You'd be right about that," he said bluntly as he took another sip of his wine. "It wasn't just about the myth."

You felt your cheeks blush again as he looked at you. "So you actually meant it?"

"You're a smart girl, Y/N. I figured you'd pick up on it," he said with a smirk.

"And in the car when we were about to kiss—"

"Interruptions are never fun," he interjected. "Like I said that day, Y/N, you're such an amazing person. And if my actions haven't been clear about that and the way I feel about everything, then what can I do to make it clearer?"

Your eyes widened, realizing what he just told you. You figured that some part of him had some sort of feelings for you but to hear it from him was a whole different sense of euphoria.

"I don't want to force you into anything that you don't want," he added. "I know that there are a lot of things about all of this that could be a bit taboo to some people."

You nodded your head, taking a sip of your own wine. "What makes you think that this isn't something that I want?" you asked curiously.

The footsteps of Jack returned and Aaron raised his brow as a way to tell you to stop the conversation for the time being. Later, he mouthed to you as he got up from the dinner table and grabbed your empty plate from in front of you.

"I haven't played this game in forever," Jack said dramatically as he rattled the box in his hands.

"What is it?" you asked as you got up from the table to see what he had.

He held the box out in front of you and you felt your heart race. Of course, it was just the thing that you needed right now to add to the tension that was clearly building between you and Aaron all night.

"Twister!" he hollered.

Jesus fucking Christ, you thought to yourself.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to figure out a way out of playing. You couldn't see it actually helping the current situation in which you found yourself. If anything, you knew that it would make you want to have Aaron absolutely destroy you into oblivion.

"Jack, buddy. I, uh, don't think that this is such a good idea after eating such a big dinner," you told him, trying to think of anything to get out of playing the game. "You don't want to get sick."

"I'll be fine! Come on, Y/N," Jack practically whined.

"Yeah, come on Y/N," Aaron said smugly as he came up from behind you. "It'll be fun to say the least." He placed his hand on the small of your back as he guided you into the living room. Jack ran around in front of the two of you, quickly laying out the mat for the game on the floor.

You whipped your head around towards Aaron, your eyes wide. "What kind of sick joke is this?" you whispered at him.

He shrugged his shoulders and shoved his hands in his pockets as he smirked. "I had nothing to do with this. But," he whispered as he moved his lips closer to your ear so that Jack wouldn't hear what he was about to say. "I'm sure it won't be the last time the two of us get tangled up together."

"Cheeky bastard," you said back to him, feeling his words go straight to your core.

"Come on guys! I'll go first," Jack said as he spun the dial. "Left hand green." He smacked his hand onto the green dot closest to him and was waiting for you or Aaron to make the next move.

"Let the games begin," Aaron said loudly, making sure to steal a glance at you as the smirk grew on his face.

It wasn't long before the three of you were all twisted and tangled on the game mat. You were positive that you were mere moments away from falling over but you were determined to hold on, if only for a bit longer.

Aaron was thankful for his son for being his unintentional wingman. The game allowed him to be close to you with absolutely no remorse in his body. Especially the few times your ass had rubbed against his groin area. He clenched his jaw each time it happened, trying to not let it affect him. Or at least not that much.

He couldn't even remember how you got tangled up with him on the mat, your limbs crossing here and there with your fronts facing each other.

He was surprised to see how you were twisting and bending your body and could only think about how you would be in bed when he was relentlessly fuc—

"Right hand green," you announced as the spinner for the game came to a halt. "Oh no," you groaned as you soon realized how far away you were from the green spot.

"Don't think you can do it?" Jack teased as he peeked over at you and looked at your current situation.

"No, no. I got this," you told him. You stretched out your arm, reaching over Aaron's crossed legs as you planted your hand firmly on the green dot. "See? Told you."

"Dad, your turn!"

Aaron muttered under his breath, something about being too old for this game as he reached over and spun the spinner. "Left foot yellow?" Aaron peered down at his feet to see that his foot was already there. "Well would you look at that."

"You have to move it," Jack told his father.

"What? No, I don't," Aaron said, determined to keep his foot in place.

"Jack is right. Your foot was already there but you have to try to move it to a different yellow spot," you told him as you glanced at him over your shoulder.

Aaron rolled his eyes and begrudgingly moved his foot to the nearest yellow spot, which looped his body underneath yours.

"Right foot red for me," Jack said as he stretched out his leg to reach it. His foot just made it as it looked like he was in the position that runners were in when they were starting the race.

You flicked the spinner and watched it go until it slowed down, landing on a spot. "Right foot blue," you said. You stretched out your leg, going over Aaron's waist to get to the blue spot. "And that is how it's done," you said cockily.

A mere moment later, your knee buckled underneath you, as it gave out from tiredness underneath you. You quickly fell to the ground, taking Aaron down with you. You landed on his lap, a small huff of air leaving him from the impact.

"Are you okay?" you asked him as you tried to hold in your laughter.

He nodded, trying not to wince from the sudden weight that was dropped onto his groin area.

Aaron was, in fact, more than okay. Sure, the initial fall from you hurt like a bitch but as the two of you sat there for a moment, taking in what just happened, he really didn't mind.

"I win!" Jack yelled in victory.

"That you did," you agreed. You shuddered quickly as Aaron's hands found your waist, splaying them across it. It became all too noticeable to you now that you were practically straddling Aaron's lap right there on the Twister mat.

"You okay?" he asked you as his face softened in concern. You felt his thumbs run gentle circles on your hips as he awaited your answer.

"I'm fine," you assured, brushing the loose strands of hair off of his forehead with your fingers. "I fell on you. Are you okay?"

Aaron nodded his head, a small smile turning up on his lips.

"I think I'm more okay than I have been in a while."

-----

author's note:

i have literally had this chapter planned out and the idea in my head before i even any idea as to where this story was going and i am so excited that it's finally out there!

i hope you all enjoyed it! as always, thank you for your continued support <3

see you next chapter!

-jordyn

[elysiashelby]

In Another World - T.Shelby Imagine Ch. 15

Paring: (Eventual) Thomas Shelby x Aliena Welsh (OC)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Word Count: 8,982

WARNINGS: Fluff, Cursing

Summary: Aliena is doing better. She’s found some happiness again. But now she has a new worry, is she going on her first date with Thomas Shelby? 

MASTERLIST  CHAPTER 14  CHAPTER 16

A/N: This chapter is a fluff! Nothing but fluff! You guys deserve it ‘cause... It will only last for so long. Also, please check out this post-- it will clear up a lot of things and I’d love it if you guys could respond.

“Hello, my love!” I shrieked as I ran to Karl. I picked him up from his cradle into me arms. He was gumming his hand. I made all sorts of noises at the sight. It is purely because I found babies so adorable! I bounced him in me arms as I walked over to Ada, who was busy fixing herself up.

“Thank you so much for doing this, Ali!” Ada shouted. She was prettying herself up in the mirror. 

I shook me head as I pinched Karl’s chubby cheek. He grumbled ‘n swatted me hand away. I laughed as I replied. “It’s no problem really! I mean I am the Shelby Family’s maid, after all.”

Ada turned ‘round to me with a pout on herself. “I’m a Thorne now, Ali. I’m not a Shelby.”

I scoffed. “So, your brothers are not your brothers anymore. You’re a Thorne, afterall.”

“What?” Ada exclaimed as she was applying eyeshadow. “No, that’s not what I meant.” 

I turned Karl over in me arms as I sat down. Had him sitting on me knee, facin’  his mum. As I began to bounce him, I quipped. “Well that’s how it came out.” I sighed, defeatedly. “No, no. I get it. You’re a Thorne now. But remember Ada in the world that the rest of your family lives in, you’ll always be the sister to the big bad Thomas Shelby of the Peaky Blinders. Not to mention that you’ll be listed as a communist ‘cause of Freddie.”

“I’m not a communist by association, Ali. I’m an actual member now.”

I averted me gaze and gave a secret tight lipped smile. Karl lifted one of me fingers into his mouth and I gasped. “Ada, Karl has a little tooth growin’!” 

Ada scoffed as she turned ‘round while fluffing up her hair. “You don’t have to tell me that! I feel it every time I feed him.” I think she rubbed her breast, subconsciously.

We both let out a small laugh. 

She sighed before walking closer to us ‘n took Karl into her arms.

I wiped me finger on me skirt then dusted off me hands. “You still breastfeeding Ada?” I asked as I reached over to pull down Karl’s shirt that had ridden up.

She nodded. Ada was patting his back. “Yeah. I’m planning on breastfeeding him until he’s one. But, don’t worry like I told you when I telephoned ya— Freddie and I bought formula for days like this.” Ada handed Karl back to me and then walked off.

I rose to me feet and followed her into the kitchen. I’m guessing she wanted to show me where she kept the formula at. I held Karl’s arm me hand, and I waved it up and down. 

Ada reached into a cabinet and showed me the formula. She showed me how to make the bottle. 

I actually knew to make a bottle of formula because I helped me sister make bottles for her daughter, but I wasn’t confident abar it now. Different times, different amounts. 

After she made the bottle, she handed it over to me. “He’s probably getting hungry by now.”

I took it then we walked back into the living room. We sat down. I positioned Karl’s head to be in the crook of me left arm while his body laid across me lap then I put the bottom in his mouth. 

Ada reached over to Karl and smoothed out his clothes. She sighed. “He’ll drink that then fall asleep. When he wakes up, wait a little while ‘cause if you change him when he wakes up— it’ll all be for nothing.”

I glanced over at her ‘n nodded. “Okay.”

We fell into this comfortable silence as we stared at Karl. That ‘til I heard Ada suck in a breath. Me head snapped in her direction. She was red in the face. 

“Ada,” I asked. “What is it?”

She fanned her eyes before waving me off. “It’s nothing. I just hate it when I leave him.”

I gave her a small smile. I knew what she meant. He’s been her solace in crazy times, I’m sure. But, I laughed— hoping to quell some of her worries. “Haven’t you left him with babysitters before. Geez, Ada! I swear he won’t die on me watch!”

She laughed a little then finally scooted back into her seat. We fell into another comfortable silence. The clock and Karl’s gulping were the only sounds audible in the room. He eventually let go of the bottle and I brought him to me shoulder. I made sure to suppress the urge to bounce him as I patted his back.

“When is Freddie coming?” I asked Ada.

She hurriedly rose from her seat and walked closer to the clock. While playing with her necklace, she replied. “Any second now.”

Any second was actually twenty minutes later. Freddie ran in, grabbed Ada, and they both ran out of here like a bat out of hell. I scoffed to meself as I repositioned Karl in me arms. I was cradling him in me arms. I got up and walked over to the rocking chair Ada had in the living room. 

I just sat there with him as he was napping away. Staring at his face. It’s been such a long time since I held a baby in me arms. I couldn’t help but trace his features. But, he didn’t like that and started squirming ‘round. I stifled a laugh and muttered an apology. I dropped me hand and used it to support his bum. I patted his bum as I began to rock us. 

I debated humming a song, but I couldn’t decide which one. Plus, I didn’t want to wake him up. I decided to just look around the flat. It was little. Adequate enough for a little family with a newborn, in me own opinion. However, I could only stare at the room  for so long.

When I was sure Karl was deeply sound asleep, I rose to me feet slowly and walked to his cradle at the same pace. I held me breath, and when I was abar to set him down— I couldn’t help looking over his face. 

I felt like a mother who had lost her child…

I shook me head and laid Karl down. I wiped me hands on me skirt, then walked ���round the flat. It had little life. Barely any photos on the walls, the colour of the walls were this muted grey, and there were hardly any furniture or utensils. It was like they were prepared to run at the first sign of trouble. But, it was theirs. 

I sighed while walking into the kitchen. I leaned against the counter, me palms were digging into it. Then, I folded me arms and was just with me thoughts. I was thinking abar Cillian Murphy’s filmography. All the movies he was in. 

It felt weird now ‘cause of Tommy. But, the two movies that stood out to me the most were The Edge of Love and Sunburn. The Edge of Love gave me an, probably, unrealistic idea of how Tommy was before the war. 

I smiled at the idea. I, subconsciously, raised two fingers to me lips. I looked down in shock before me hand slapped over me mouth. I stifled a chuckle which came out as a snort. 

I fluttered me fingers to rid meself of the absence of a ciggie. Then, I lifted meself onto the counter.

Sunburn was a movie I was fond of. A very young Cillian Murphy is all I need for me justification. His character was not very honorable, but when are men ever. When are people ever! 

The movie was flashing through me head, but it felt wrong. It felt dirty, in a way. Made me chuckle, not gonna lie. I didn’t even catch meself when I began comparing Cillian’s characters to Tommy himself. 

I bit me lip and hopped off the counter. I clapped me hands together softly before rubbing them together. “Let’s clean, shall we?” I whispered.

Ada didn’t ask me to clean, but I’d figured that I’d just clean up whatever I found. I wasn’t going to go into any rooms. Since that was an invasion of privacy. But, did everythin’ else. I dusted off the walk-in carpet, then swept up the ‘ole house. When I was done with that— I wiped down the tables in the living room ‘n kitchen. 

I raised a hand to me temple as I used the other to support me weight, all while leaning on the table I finished wiping. I looked over at Karl’s cradle and stood still. It’s not like I could hear his breathing, but he wasn’t fussing either. 

I tsked, dropped the towel on the table, ‘n then walked over to the fireplace. Ada and Freddie had a collection of books on the overmantle. I looked over the titles and chose the one I was most familiar with. Tess of the D'Urbervilles, it was. I had the biggest crush on Gemma Arterton and Eddie Redmayne, ‘n I watched a TV show they starred in that adapted the book. 

After watching it, I read the book soon after. So, this wouldn’t be me first time crackin’ this story open. 

“When was the last time you read a story, Aliena?” I asked meself as I brought the cross pendant to me lips and ran across me bottom one. It was the one Tina got me all that time ago. I opened the book and began readin’ aloud while slowly pacing.

‘Cause I only remember growin’ up in America, I spent most of me life with an American accent. I adapted the accent when I moved to me second middle school. I just tried it for shits and giggles, but found that me existence there was so much easier when I did so. I didn’t ‘ave to deal with people asking me to repeat meself every time I held a conversation. 

It didn’t help that me ma’ was the scouser while me pa was from Boston. The only reason I didn’t develop a Boston was due to me ma taking care of me for the majority of me early childhood. Me pa was working morning till night. 

I didn’t feel like a true scouser nor a true American. But, I can affiliate more with my upbringing in California. It’s what I can remember. 

Anyway, the point I was getting to was that— I do different accents. American, me own, Irish, Russian, and Scottish. I never said they were any good, but I did them. And I did them when I talked too much for a long time, or when I was reading.

I was in the middle of a line when I heard a little whimper. Me eyes darted to the page number I was on ‘n I hoped I could remember it. I threw it on the couch and shuffled hurriedly to him.

Tears were welling up in his eyes. I cooed and took him into me arms. “It’s alright, Ka-.” I cut meself off as I felt wetness on me midsection. I sighed and looked ‘round for extra diapers and towels. When I couldn’t find any, I whimpered and just had to take the bullet. 

I held him closer to me and practically ran to the bathroom. I shifted ‘round in there and found some. They weren’t really diapers, not in me own opinion. I set the clean nappy on the sink before getting the rag, throwing it in there, and letting the water get warm as I ran it.

I sighed while looking down at Karl. “Your mummy is a proper divvy, Karl. Forgot to leave your nappies with me.” I huffed while pinchin’ his cheek softly. “Let’s get ya changed, love.” I stroked his cheek as tears fell down. I felt the water and I deemed it warm enough. I turned off the faucet and wrung some of the water out before I held it in one hand while the other grabbed the diaper.

 “Okay, love. Let’s get you cleaned up now.” I was looking down at Karl the whole time as I walked back into the living room. 

Me gaze, finally, shifted up ‘n standin’ there was Tommy. A frightened yelp escaped me and I clutched Karl tighter.

“For-! For goodness sake, Tommy!” I shouted. I huffed before I continued me hurried shuffle over to the couch. I laid Karl down ‘n began changin’ him. 

“So, this is where you were. Had to find out from Polly. I need to talk to you.” Tommy said while looking over his ciggie. Titling it in his hand.

I scoffed. “You’d know where I am, if you’d let yourself have the time for a chat once in a while. Do you remember the last time you rested, Tom?” I blew a strand of me hair out of me face as I gave him a teasing glance. I bundled up Karl’s soiled nappy and held it up for him to take. “Go on before you ask me this favor, do one for me.”

With his hands in his pockets and leaning back, he scoffed at me. Tommy rolled his eyes before taking it out of me hand ‘n walkin’ away to throw it in the bin. Hurriedly, I took off me jumper when I was done dressing Karl then I took him into me arms. I was bouncing him in me arms by the time Tom walked back in. 

He cleared his throat, tsked, and then pointed at me. "I wanted to know if you’re feeling better.” Tom sniffed, flicked under his nose, and then looked up at me.

Disbelief was no doubt written all of it. I scoffed as I bounced Karl in me arms.

“Tommy Shelby, you-!” I scoffed again before it turned into a cackle. “You did not come here to ask me that! Why’re you blaggin’ for?” I continued to cackle long enough ‘til me knees grew weak ‘n I started folding in on meself.

Tommy’s tongue prodded the inside of his cheek as he tried to fight off a grin. He sighed loudly before walking toward me and the baby. “Fine. Ada expressed her worries to Polly the other day about you taking care of Karl, and I offered to come ‘n help.” He held his arms out and waved me to give Karl over.

I looked at ‘em up and down. “You? You are gonna help me take care of a baby?” 

Tommy gave me a look before wedging a hand between me chest to grab Karl. “I have taken care of one before.”

I threw me head back in a giggle. “Who?” I shouted. “John?”

He nodded. “And Ada. And Finn. And fucking Arthur, too.” Tommy turned Karl ‘round in his arms, so that Karl was snug against his chest. Then, he lifted the boy in the air.

“Oi! No swearing ‘round Karl. Ada will have us both for it.” I dusted me hands off before I wiped them on me skirt, and then I sat down. Tommy was still playing with Karl, throwing him up in the air. 

When I felt Karl’s head was too close to the ceiling, I whimpered. “Oh, do be careful!” He snickered. I couldn’t deny that Karl’s giggling was like music to me ears. It truly warmed me heart.

Tommy caught Karl one more time before he crashed on the couch and let Karl sit in lap. Karl began tugging on the lapels of Tommy’s coat. I watched them ‘til it was painfully that I was being stared at too. 

I met Tommy’s gaze and we held it. We held it for a while ‘til I couldn’t take it anymore. With me face heating up— no doubt, giving away me feelings, I jutted me head out with widened eyes before I started giggling. I rose to me feet and walked over to Ada’s phonograph. 

I picked a random record and put it on. “I can’t stand silence.” I said while not looking back just yet. I turned ‘round with me hands locked at the fingertips. “Are ya hungry? I can make you something.”

Tommy’s eyes flickered to me, but he looked back at Karl. “Have you eaten yet, Ali?”

I rolled me eyes while me hands dropped to me waist. I could lie and say no, but if I forced meself to eat— it could end badly for me. But, perhaps while I’m cooking I’ll get hungry again.

“No, I haven’t. So, I’ll check what they have.” I said while walking off. I looked through the cabinets and found some canned food. I could replace it another time. 

I was sitting down in a chair while I watched over the pots. I was waiting for the bubblin’ or whistling. I heard footsteps behind me and there was Tommy with Karl.

He handed him over to me which I happily obliged to. “Hello, little one. Your uncle finally decided to hand you over.” Karl just began to babble in reply. 

I looked over at Tommy, who had just finished settling himself in the chair opposite of me, and asked. “So, how is that tattoo of yours healing?” 

He finished lighting up his ciggie and said. “Nicely. I reckon that it’ll be fully healed within the week.” 

I hummed while bringing my attention back to Karl. Tommy got a tattoo some weeks ago. It was a rose intertwined with a horseshoe on his left bicep. I had a hold on Karl’s hand and I was making him punch the air between us. I made fighting sound effects as I did so. I leaned forward and made him punch me cheek softly. I threw meself back at the contact which made him laugh.

“How evil!” I exclaimed. “Why are you laughing abar that? Huh!” I hugged him as I pretended to eat his neck. His giggles never stopped as he flailed abar. I sighed and hoisted him on me hip as I got up. I walked over to Tommy, took his ciggie from his mouth, and handed him Karl. “Hold him, yeah?”

I put the ciggie in me mouth and took a puff. I used a spoon to check if the soup was burning at the bottom ‘n all that. As I turned off the stove, I took another pull. I walked over to the cabinet that had the plates and bowls in it ‘n took two out. I poured in the soup then walked carefully back to the table. 

I sidestepped, wiped me hands of me skirt, took the ciggie from me mouth ‘n placed it back in his before I took Karl into me arms. I walked back to me seat and settled down. I looked up Tommy who had just finished taking a drag.

“Should I be worried that you don’t cough anymore, Ali?” Tommy quipped.

I shrugged. “No?”

He scoffed as a small smirk graced his face. Tommy leaned forward, stubbed out his ciggie, and gripped the spoon. “Ya know, if I knew you were going to cave this early about my smoking and drinking— I would have saved meself the stress.”

I gasped, exaggeratedly horrified. “Do you know how hard I did try! You just go on and smoke the moment you’re not in me sights. Pssh. Don’t even get me started on your terrible drinking habits. You drink alcohol like it’s water! If I’m not the one giving you water, you won’t drink it!” I shocked me head and grumbled under me breath.

Tom snickered. “Watch what you say, Ali. What if Karl learns it?” He threw me a teasing glance before looking back down at his soup. 

I tsked. “I didn’t even curse, so shut your piehole!” I groaned loudly. “You’re so lucky that there’s nothing here I can throw at ya. And that you’re so far away!”

Tommy’s lips smacked before he asked. “So, you’d hit me with Karl in your arms? Show him your violent ways?”

Me eyes practically came out me head. I snorted. “Oh, that’s rich coming from you! But, yes. Yes, I would.” 

I focused back on Karl. I let him teethe on me finger for a while ‘n I was just watchin’ him. I was just reminiscing that fact that me baby niece used to do that same when she was younger. I mean, of course she did, she was a baby herself!

I shifted me eyes back at Tommy’s and he did the same. A snicker escaped the both of us.

Tommy and I ended up taking care of Karl for abar three more hours. It definitely was a sight. I mean I knew he cherished family a lot, but I never thought of him as a “family man.” I just didn’t think he’d help me out with Karl as much as he did.

I mean wasn’t it more of a big deal in the 50s and 60s? Abar the whole absence of the father in the family dynamic. The father figure just being the either overbearing brute or the couchpotato? I don’t know. All I can say is that we both tuckered out Karl. Once he was asleep— Tommy and I caught up a little more. Just talked abar the simple stuff.

Right now, I was busy adding up some numbers in the shop while Polly was talkin’ to me. 

“I’m just saying! When are you gonna be bringing home a lad?” She was smiling down at me while nursing a ciggie.

I rolled me eyes as I smiled too. I scoffed. “Polly, I don’t know what you want me to say. It’s not for me own lack of trying!”

Polly shoved me shoulder while she whispered. “It’s ‘cause you still fancy Tommy.”

Me head flashed to her direction as I stifled a loud gasp. I swatted her leg as I exclaimed. “Polly!” I resorted to spluttering for words as she cackled. Me hands were covering me forehead. I sighed deeply. “I’m tryin’, Pol. I really am. I’m trying to stop caring for him.”

I dropped me hands and looked up at her. I gave her a solemn smile to which she did the same. Polly tsked before she hopped off me desk ‘n caressed me cheek with her thumb. Polly awed before she cradled me head to her stomach.

She whispered. “You’re too good for him anyway. My sweet little one.”

I didn’t dare stop the smile that took over me face. 

“Aliena!” 

Polly and I detached from each other to see who was calling out to me. 

“Aliena, Tommy sent me to come fetch ya!” Finn shouted with a red face. 

Polly and I both sighed. We gave each other a look. A look that said, “This damn kid. Shoutin’ like we were miles away from ‘em!”

I rose to me feet and before I could start tidying up me station, Polly took me face in her hands. “Go on.” She said. “I’ll take care of this.”

I gave her a quick grin as I reached for me coat.

“God only knows what he wants with you this time!” Polly chimed as she dusted off the shoulders of me coat. Polly stepped over to Finn, licked her thumb, and wiped the dirt off his face. He shirked away while I cackled at his expression.

I sighed as I tugged on me gloves. “C’mon, Finn! Can’t have your brother waitin’ long or he’ll throw a fit.” When I was done, I put me hand on Finn’s shoulder and we began our journey.

When we were some ways away from the shop, I decided to break our little silence. 

“So, Finn,” I began. “are you still studying?”

He began to groan exaggeratedly while he attempted to rest his head on me shoulder. I scoffed.

“All right!” I shouted. “Just remember, Finn. I’m not the one you’re hurtin’.” Under me breath, I muttered. “At least you know how to read and write.” I looked back at him. Finn was already me height. We were standing shoulder to shoulder. “Oh, come ‘ere you!” 

I threw me arms ‘round his shoulders ‘n pretended to put him in a headlock. 

He protested, more like begging me to stop. I didn’t stop teasing ‘em ‘til we got to the office, company headquarters, whatever. Just a few men work here. Men who were intelligent enough to handle the legal stuff and keep their mouths shut.

Finn and I marched right to Tommy’s office. Finn knocked on the door and Tommy shouted for us to come in. 

“I brought her, Tom.” Finn said as he took off his cap. Looking just like the eager little lad he was. 

Tom looked up at us. “Good job, Finn. Now, piss off.” Tommy motioned to the door with his ciggie. “Aliena, come here.”

I turned to Finn and pinched his cheek before walking over to sit in a chair. I settled meself while taking off me gloves. I let out a deep breath before I asked. “So, what am I doing ‘ere, Tom?”

He didn’t answer me yet. He was still working on whatever paperwork that was in front of him. So, I took in his appearance.

Tommy looked tired yet not. Like a boy who was not gonna admit to being tuckered out since he was having so much fun. He wasn’t any thinner or bigger. So, I think that’s a good sign. Tommy had his coat hanging, but his suit jacket is draped ‘round his chair. 

I looked away after a couple of seconds of staring. I resorted to admiring me fingernails and humming a random song. 

When Tommy, finally, cleared his throat— me head snapped back to him. “I had Finn get you ‘cause I wanted to tell you…” Tommy intertwined his fingers as he leaned back into his chair. “That I’m taking a day off tomorrow.”

I blinked.

And then I began to blink rapidly. 

And then me hand slapped over me mouth as I tried to desperately stifle me laughter. 

Very strainiously, I asked. “Why the fuck did you need to tell me abar this?” I giggled loudly. I took a deep, calming breath before I sat up straight ‘n looked Tommy in the eyes. He had such an amused look on his face. “I was fucking working, Tom! What the hell is this about?”

Tom leaned forward, resting his clasped hands on the desk. “It’s simple. I’m taking a day off to rest and I want you to rest with me. Tomorrow’s your day off too, so unless you have plans… You should be available to join me.”

I can’t deny that me eyes widened a little before me face contorted in confusion. “What are you up to Thomas Shelby? Huh? Why aren’t you planning a boy’s getaway or somethin’?” 

Tommy averted his gaze to the left while dropping his jaw a smidgen ‘n widening his eyes. “Because I want to spend the day with you.” 

I glared at him. I trusted this as much… You know what, I don’t have a metaphor for this feeling. It felt like he was asking me out on a date, but he wasn’t asking me out— like directly! Tommy would have explicitly said this was a date, no? I think he just wants to hang out then.

I sighed as I fell back into the chair. I rested me right elbow on the arm of the chair and rubbed me forehead. Me eyes flickered to Tommy’s. “Fine. Yeah, alright.” 

Tommy pursed his lips a little before he nodded. “Good, it’s settled then. Be ready by 10.”

I scoffed, me jaw dropped dramatically. “Is Tommy Shelby plannin’ on sleeping in?”  

He rolled his eyes as he muttered. “Shut up.”

I stuck me tongue out at him and then relaxed again. “So, is there a dress code for this occasion or what?”

Tommy rubbed his fingers together as his gaze dropped to the side. He looked back at me and said. “I could care less. Just don’t come in your work clothes.”

I glared at him again. Me gaze dropped to his little bar cart as I asked. “Do you have a plan as to what tomorrow entails?” I started picking at me skirt. Picking it up and smoothing it out repeatedly.

Tom tutted. “I was thinking we would walk around London. I’ll take you shopping or something like that. Then at 12:30, we are going to eat at a fancy restaurant called The Barge.” He gave me a pointed look as he continued. “Is that alright with you?” 

I gave him a tight-lipped smile as I nodded. I tsked and sighed as I rose from the chair. “Okay, then. I’ll see you tomorrow. At 10. Not wearing me work apparel.” I turned ‘round and waved him with the back of me hand. “Night, Tommy!”

“Night, Ali.”

I had a smile on me face the whole walk home. I couldn’t help it. It felt like a date. 

It felt like a date. But, it wasn’t. Right?

I ran into the house ‘n immediately darted for the phone. I phoned Cassie. 

“Ali, what’s up?” Cassie asked once the operator put me through.

I stumbled with me words. I didn’t know how to phrase this. The word “date” just kept running through me mind. “I-uh! So, Tommy…”

“Dear God, Ali! Did you both get into another fight? I told you I didn’t want to hear it if this happened again!”

I scoffed and shouted. “No! Cassie, no! We didn’t get into a fight. On the contrary, Tommy has asked me to spend tomorrow with him.” 

Cassie got quiet. “What?” She whispered.

“Yeah.” I said breathily. I brought one of me hands up to me forehead. “He didn’t explicitly ask me out. Like he didn’t say the word date, but it feels like he asked me out on one.” I squealed as quietly as I could into the phone. “Oh, Cassie! What if this is actually it?” 

Cassie sighed, quite defeatedly— might I add. “Aliena, sweetie. Let’s not throw this out of proportion just yet. Did he tell you this was a date?”

I sighed as I turned ‘round and rested against the wall. “No.” I quipped childishly.

“Then, it’d be safer for you to go in this without that kind of mindset.” 

There was a silence between us.

“I don’t want you to get excited then get your feelings hurt, Ali.”

I tsked as I closed me eyes and held me forehead again. I ran that same hand through me hair as I said. “Yeah, your… You’re right.” I shook me head as if I was shaking those thoughts out of me head. “So, ever heard of The Barge?”

Cassie scoffed. “Of course, I have. I go there sometimes for seafood.” 

I hummed. “Okay. Well, what kind of setting is it? Actually, don’t answer that. Lemme guess, aristocratic.”

Cassie laughed, dryly. “That’s a nice way of saying only rich people eat there. But yeah, it is. So, I would suggest wearing something semi formal. You know something that would not-!”

I rolled me eyes. “Yeah, I know what semi formal is, Cass. I wear something that would make Angie suck her teeth, but not tell me to go and change.”

“That sounds good.”

I huffed before saying, “Thank you for helping me. And bring me back down to Earth.”

“Anytime, babes. I hope tomorrow goes well for you.”

I laughed dryly while looking up at the ceiling. “I do too.”

I hung up the phone not too long after ‘n went upstairs to shift through me clothes. I had decided on a black dress with puffed long sleeves, a square neck cut, and a slit on me right thigh. I wore decent sized heels and I was going to keep me hair down. As for makeup, I was going to keep it light.

A nude lip, foundation, winged eyeliner, mascara, and some white in the corners of me eyes. I was debating putting some white on me lids too. I decided against it after I tried the look out. 

The next morning, I woke up ‘round six ‘n made meself breakfast. After that, I took a bath and washed me hair. It was fucking baltic, la’, but I fucking did it! After I was done, I kept me hair wrapped in a towel as I got ready. 

I put on me matching black undergarments. Bra, panties, and I almost put on a garter belt— but then I remembered the slit in the dress. When I had those two on, I lathered me legs and arms in lotion ‘n then focused on drying me hair. I just kept wringing the water out of me ends as much as I could. 

I, then, brush out me hair which caused me to repeat the whole wringing me ends process. After that, I hurried to begin putting on me makeup. It took up more time than I thought it would since I kept fucking up the eyeliner. I’m blaming me nerves. Any other time, I’ve been perfectly steady-handed.

I threw me lipstick down and checked the clock. It was 9:45. I groaned exaggeratedly as I rose to me feet. I quickly put on me dress as carefully as I could manage ‘n then put on me heels. When I was done, I went back to me desk and brush out me hair one more time. I took a deep breath.

“I feel like somethin’s missin’.” I muttered to meself. I snapped me fingers as the idea came to mind. ‘Jewelry!’

I dropped to me knees and pulled out me box of jewelry. I debated between me ma’s set and me papa’s set. I, ultimately, decided on the pearl set. I struggled to put them on as I stumbled to me feet. 

I was putting on me right earring when there was honking outside. Jitters shot through me body. I took a deep breath. I finished fastening the earring in and I smoothed out me dress.

I hurriedly grabbed my clutch and ran down the stairs. I was putting on me coat when Tommy honked for the fifth, sixth, seventh time. I huffed before shouting, “Hold your fucking horses!” I opened the door and flailed me arms out. “Jesus, Tommy!” 

I walked over to the passenger side, his head following me the whole time. I slid into the car with a loud sigh. “Good mornin’, Tommy.”

He didn’t reply. He was still lookin’ at me up and down. I gave him a goofy grin in return. 

Tommy cleared his throat. “Good morning, Aliena.” And with that, he started up the car again ‘n we were out.

I fiddled with me coat as I asked. “So, where are we headed first?”

Tommy scoffed while tilting his head to the side. “ How about you stop worrying about it and you just sit there ‘n look pretty.”

I rolled me eyes and tried to stop the smile that wanted to envelope me face. I cocked me eyebrow as I looked at him. “So! You think I looked pretty.” I teased in a sign-song tone. I threw me head back as I laughed. But, then I quickly sobered up and said. “You can’t take it back!” I looked back down, picking at me coat while humming.

Tommy looked at me, emotionlessly. I gave him a toothy smile in return before me hand smacked over me mouth and I looked away. 

Tommy sighed. “Do you ever not laugh?”

I shrugged. “Don’t know.” I tilted me head in thought. “Huh.”

‘When was the last time I didn’t laugh? Like I used to not laugh this much. Does it have something to do with my mental illnesses?’ I thought.

“Well, come out with it.”

I looked at Tommy and shook me head. “Is nothin’. I’m just a giggly person.” There was a short silence between us before I broke it. “Wait, ‘ang on a mo’! Haven’t we known each other for abar three years now? Why are you complaining abar me giggling now?”

Tommy replied, calmly. “I have aired my grievances before.”

I tsked while crossing me arms. “So, why are you still complaining abar it?” I grumbled.

Tommy looked at me before ruffling me hair. “‘Cause you still give me the same vague answer.”

I gasped horrified and scrambled to fix me hair. 

Eventually after a very animated car drive, we made it into the city. True to his word, we strolled ‘round for some time. It wasn’t ‘til I clocked some very nice looking shoes did we stop and go into the shop.

I tried preventing him from buying me the red heels, but he wasn’t having it. It was confusing the hell out of me, to say the least. And once we went in that store, we were going into every other store. I’d say he bought me like two new dress, four new work blouses, four skirts to match, two new pairs of stockings, and a necklace.

“Tommy! Enough now! What are we going to do with all these bags at the restaurant?”

Tommy gave me the most mocking facial expression as if the answer to me question was so obvious! “Stop fussing, Aliena.” Tom turned ‘round and motioned his arm in a wave, like he was calling someone over. And he actually was. Two men walked up to us with peaked caps.

Immediately, me hip dropped to the side and me arms folded. Tommy handed them all the bags in his hands then took the bags I was holding ‘n gave ‘em to them too.

Tommy cleared his throat curtly ‘n pointed his finger at them as he gave them orders. “Now, boys, take these to the car and drop them off at the betting shop. Tell Polly to put these in Aliena’s room.” He waved his hand, turned toward me, gripped me by me arm, and then we walked. 

“Why were they here, Tom?” I asked, slightly miffed. 

“Well, the more obvious answer is for protection. You know that.” 

I rolled me eyes. “Of course, I know that. You think I don’t know you ‘ave men following me ‘round sometimes when I’m out of the city with me mates. Well, I do. But, what I don’t get— is why they were here if you’re here?” 

Tommy sighed. “I only called them here, so that they would get the bags.”

I squinted me eyes and attempted to playfully put me finger in his face. “That better be the truth. Or I’ll kick ya shin.”

Tommy scoffed while throwing his head back. “Deal.” Tommy pulled out his watched and read the time. With his grip still on me arm, He sighed ‘n said. “Right, come on. Don’t want to be late for our reservation.”

I shook his hand off, to which he gave me a pointed look. “Don’t give me that look. Give me your arm right, will you!” I wrapped me arms ‘round his and we continued walking.

I could tell we were finally at the restaurant ‘cause of the huge ass sign. I let out a sign of relief. “Finally, we can sit down.” I whispered to meself. 

Tommy hummed in response. Not that I was looking for one. 

We walked up to the receptionist. They asked us for a name to which Tommy gave him and we were shown to a booth. A rather secluded booth. Red flags were popping off in me head, but I didn’t want to seem paranoid— so I kept it to meself.

Tommy motioned for me to enter the booth first, so I was going to— but I had to take off me coat first. Tommy helped me as I took it off. He held it for me and kept his hand out for me. I tucked me dress under me bum as I slid into the booth.

Another flag was raised as he chose to sit so very close to me. Hardly had any arm space. So, I slid over a little more. 

The waiter gave us each a menu and said they’ll be back when we’re ready. I looked it over and debated just getting a salad. Ya know for… Appearance sake.

Then, I saw there was a lobster dish and caviar. I was sold. I. Was. Sold. As for drinks, there is no soda! So, I’m going to leave that up to either Tommy, or I’m getting water. Do they serve apple juice here? No.

Because I was making jokes in me head, me hand kept flying to me mouth to both stifle me giggles and hide me smile. Luckily, I wasn’t audibly giggling. Time and place, Aliena!

I looked over to Tommy ‘n asked. “Do you already know what you’re getting?”

Tom sniffed before replying, “Yep, have you figured out what you’re having?” 

I nodded, but then I began to double-check the prices of everything. Getting the lobster dish and the caviar was like getting two main courses, right? It was, actually, pretty expensive. So, maybe— I should just pick one. Unconsciously, I started to nibble on me fingernail. Not trying to bite it off or anything, just biting down on it softly, repeatedly.

Tommy grabbed me hand and took it into his. “What are you fussing about now? Show me what you want.” 

I pointed to the two dishes while being hyper aware of the fact that he was still holding me hand. Oh, was I fucking freakin’ out in the inisde!

“Right then. We’ll order both.” Tommy let go of me hand and settled himself in his seat. While reaching for his ciggie case, he muttered. “Not like I’m paying for it.”

Me eyes practically bulged out of me head ‘n I had to will me hand not to slap over me face. I leaned into him and whispered. “Thomas Shelby, are we doing a runner?”

Tommy smirked as he placed his ciggie in his mouth. “Not exactly.” He lit the bloody thing and closed the lighter with a loud snap.

I furrowed me eyebrows in confusion as I tried to think of another possible reason. While I was thinking the waiter came back.

“Can I take your order?” He asked.

I was abar to say yes when Tommy cut me off. “We’re not ready quite yet. But, we’d like to order some white wine.” 

I rested me left elbow on the table, me thumb ‘n pointer finger were shaped in an L-shape as I used it to support me head. I looked at Tommy with an eyebrow raised. I waited ‘til the waiter left to ask. “And why are we not ordering yet? We were ready.”

“It would be rude to have our food be done first.” He looked at me, deadpan.

It finally clicked. “You doin’ a deal, Tom?” I asked, full with spite.

“A little one, yeah.”

I sucked on me teeth and looked away from him while I cradled me temples with me right hand. I wanted to be more upset, but I wasn’t. This was just typical Thomas Shelby behavior. I dropped me hand after I let out a calming breath. 

“Right.” I said. “So, am I to be eye-candy during this deal or do I have job? Have to seduce him or something like that? Follow him out of this place.”

Tommy shook his head as a little chuckle escaped his mouth. “Nope. You’ll be doing none of that. I’m just killing a bird with a stone.” 

I snorted at the expression. Me hand went to covering me mouth. “That’s not-!”

“I know.” Tommy quickly replied. “I asked you to come out with me today because you mentioned we haven’t talked like we used to, and you’re right. This was the perfect opportunity to do so… While sweetening my deal with Mr. Daniel Taylor.”

I smiled as I shook me head. I locked me fingers, rested both of me elbows on the table, and then rested me chin on me hands. “So, this is what you meant when you said I should sit here and look pretty.” 

A smile tugged at the corner of Tommy’s mouth. “Yes.” 

I watched as Tommy took a drag from his ciggie before I dropped me arms and straightened me back. 

It took Mr. Taylor quite some time before arriving. The wine came before him, for Christ’s sake. 

Tommy placed his hand on me back, signaling for me to stand with him. 

“Mr. Taylor, nice to see you again.” They shook hands then Tommy motioned his hand toward me. “This is Ailena Welsh, my companion this evening.” 

I shook Mr. Taylor’s hand ‘n exchanged greetings. I’m happy to say we ordered not too long after. I did just as Tommy told me too. To sit here and look pretty. I didn’t jump in the conversation nor did I maintain eye contact with the man. It seemed that this was “Danny” from season three. The future leader of the Birmingham City Council. Just like mentioned in the episode, Mr. Taylor had interests in steelworks in Cradley Heath. Tommy offered to help him get his products to carmakers.

That’s the jist of it. After tuning into those parts of the conversation, I focused on the expensive meal in front of me. I absolutely loved the caviar. It suited my tastes perfectly. I had to contain me joy, though. Didn’t want to look comical in front of the client, after all.

“Oh, we’ve been chattin’ up a storm, Mr. Shelby. I don’t want to leave your missus out of the conversation. How is the meal, dear?” Mr. Taylor asked me.

I covered me mouth as I hurried to swallow down the bite of scran I just took. I only spoke once I was sure me mouth was clear. I dropped me hand ‘n said. “Oh, it’s lovely.” I nodded me head for emphasis.

“How is the caviar? Have you had it before today?”

I shook me head. “No, today was my first time tasting it. I thought it was delicious.” 

“Oh, well. I’m glad that it suited your taste.”

I nodded and gave him a polite smile. Tommy reached under the table and squeezed me hand. Almost reassuringly. Luckily, after that little “inclusion,” the conversation ended ‘n it was back to only them. Fine by me, to be honest. 

It seemed that this meeting was coming to an end when a man walked up to Mr. Taylor and whispered something into his ear. Mr. Taylor stood up as did we. “Well, looks like I’m needed elsewhere. It was a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Shelby.” They shook hands ‘n then he took my hand. “And it was nice meeting you, Ms. Welsh.”

I let out a little, “Likewise.” 

Mr. Taylor let after that. Me eyes darted to Tommy and I asked, discreetly. “He’s still paying the bill, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, thank God.” And with that, we sat back down. “That seemed like it went well.” I chimed.

Tom was busy lighting another ciggie. “Yes, it did.” 

Now I was busy debating whether to ask him if he knew there was a loo in this joint, if I should just walk ‘round ‘til I found one, or just hold it.

“If you need to use the restroom, there’s one for ladies ‘round the corner.” Tommy muttered. 

Me head snapped toward him. “Huh?”

He sighed before smiling. “I said if you need to use the lavatory, then there’s one over there.” He pointed to a door, which a woman came out of.

“Oh.” I looked back at ‘em with a pout. “I knew that.” I got up and walked to it. 

 After I handled me business, we left the restaurant ‘n began walking again. On the way, I had to beg Tommy to go through the park. I just admired the scenery, honestly. I’ve been in the park loads of times with the girls. But only the lord knows when I’d get a chance like this again.

I was walking a little bit ahead of Tommy. I was taking big steps while twirling ‘round. “Oh, come on, Tommy! Live a little!” I shouted as I was still twirling.

“I live plenty.” He rebutted.

I rolled me eyes as I said. “Boo!” I put me thumbs down for emphasis, but it ended up making me laugh. I twirled front and started teetering me head from left to right with me hands locked behind me back.

Just as I turned me head ‘round, a gust of wind blew through me hair. A very picturesque moment, if I do say so meself. If only I had a hat.

I hurried to fix me hair which made Tommy laugh. “Oh, do one!” I shouted. I swatted his chest once he walked up to me. Tommy was still laughing as he helped me fix me hair. I stuck me tongue out at him.

“You know. I’d say you are more petulant than Ada and Finn combined.” He quipped as he was still helping me.

Me jaw dropped slightly. “Isn’t that just a sophisticated way of calling me the biggest brat you’ve ever met?”

Tommy snickered with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Can never get one passed you, can I?”

I glared at him. “No. No, you can’t.” I shook me head before I bursted into a fit of giggles. 

After that whole fiasco, I made sure to stop twirling ‘n stuff. I walked side-by-side with him. I had a really strong urge to hold his hand, but I fought it. I’m just used to doin’ that is all. I hold all of the girls’ hands whenever we’re out. Angie tried fighting me off at first, ‘cause— manners. But I broke her down! Tina just went along with it, though. I’m guessing she just wanted to avoid conflict.

We made small talk, but mainly basked in the silence. It was nice. I was focusing on kicking a pebble when I heard Tommy scoff.

“What?” I asked while not looking up.

“What did the pebble ever do to you?” He asked in a teasing manner.

Me head shot up and I stopped kicking the pebble. I shouted in surprise since I walked ahead of the pebble, but sighed in defeat as I decided to just keep walking. 

Tommy shook his head.

I pouted. “You made me lose it.”

“There’s plenty more. Choose another.”

I pouted harder while crossing me arms. “No, that one was mine.”

Tommy sighed while shaking his head. I could see his grin from the corner of me eye which made me smile as well.

The moment we exited the park, Tommy made it clear that we were going home. I shrugged and accepted it. The car ride was, for its majority, silent. I had me eyes closed and I was letting the wind flow through me hair.  

I like it when the wind froze me ears. My comfort action wasn’t sucking me thumb rather I played with me ears. I played with me pa’s ears too. I missed being able to do it from time to time.

When I felt that we were near the house, I sat up straight ‘n opened me eyes. Tommy parked in front ‘n I opened the car door.

“Well, thanks for the day out. And for the fancy meal. And for the new clothes.” I was abar to step out of the car when I remembered a certain promise I made. I pivoted me body ‘round and kicked his shin.

He hissed. “The fuck!”

I cackled as I jumped out of the car. “Said I’d do it, didn’t I?” I skipped over to the pavement and then twirled ‘round to get one last look at him.

He was shaking his head. “Ali!” He called out to me. 

I threw him a mocking look. “What?”

He beckoned me with two fingers ‘n I’d be lying if I said that that didn’t have no effect on me. So, I walked up to his window ‘n repeated meself.

I stared into his eyes as he said. “Your hair looks better when it’s down. I wanted to tell ya that.” I blinked in response. Flabbergasted, I was. “I had a nice time too. Night, Aliena.”

I whispered. “Night, Tommy.” He started up the engine and I instinctively stepped back. I watched as he drove off before a hand came up to me hair ‘n I stroked a strand of it. A smile creeping up on me.

I ran up to me room soon after ‘n threw meself on the bed. Me thoughts were racing a million miles per hour. 

What the hell was today? Why did he decide to spoil me of all people? He could’ve taken out Polly, no? Or, his brothers? But it wasn’t just a free business lunch, he bought me clothes and a necklace. 

Oh my god, the necklace! It was a simple locket necklace, but it was jewelry from him, nevertheless! Whose picture would I put in it? I would have put me parents in it, but…

And I can’t bloody well put Tommy in it! Maybe I should put Polly and Cassie. 

I twirled a strand of me hair ‘round me finger.

Maybe I should start wearing me hair down more often. 

I grabbed me pillow ‘n squealed into it while kicking me legs.

You know, this could be boiled down to an inferiority or superiority complex. I have rich friends who shower me with expensive gifts ‘n maybe this was a show that he could do it too now.

I shrugged me shoulders with an facial expression to match.

Who cares. His attention was practically all on me today ‘n it felt like a date.

Even though, it really wasn’t.

I began squealing in me pillow again!

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[cecilspeaks]

176 - The Autumn Specter

Lips are the toes of the face. Welcome to Night Vale.

[spooky theme song]

It’s Halloween again, Night Vale, my favorite day of the year. As a kid, my mother used to dress my sister Abby and I in homemade costumes and take us door to door, vaguely threatening our neighbors until they gave us candy. When I was a teenager, I got a little old for trick-or-treating, so I started going to haunted houses with my friends. A lot of those haunted houses were kind of predictable with all their chain saw killers and Victorian ghost children singing nursery rhymes, who would follow you home and sing by your bed for months afterwards, but they always got to me. I loved the emotional rush of being scared. I still do. Of course, I don’t go out much to haunted houses, but I still love good old fashioned scary stories. I thought today would be a great day to share some of my favorites with you. I had my new intern, James, put together a few spooky tales that are perfect for putting you into Halloween mood.

But first, let’s have a look at the Community Calendar. This Saturday night at the New Old Night Vale Opera House, is the annual costume gala. This event is the Opera House’s largest fundraiser and one of the most prestigious costume contests in the region. A panel of judges will be on hand to determine the best costume at the ball. Last year’s winners were Joel Eisenberg and his partner Danny Jimenez, who dressed in a tandem outfit of a stegosaurus. I was there, listeners, and it was impressive! The creature was so realistic-looking. The craftsmanship of the costume was top notch, but listen, I have to confess I’m always more into high concept creativity rather than realistic details when it comes to costumes. Like I remember the 2015 gala, when Amal Shamun came dressed up as the concept of ennui. She made herself 12 feet tall, dressed in a taupe long coat, and created a constant drizzling rain inside the ball room. Anyone who looked at her got super sad and wanted a hug. But Joel and Danny’s stegosaurus was fine.

Sunday afternoon is the fall craft sale in Old Town Night Vale. An inscrutable maze of stalls showcasing the finest products from our town’s artisans. There will be cultural events for children, like finger painting classes, puppet shows, and a visit from the Autumn Specter. The Autumn Specter returns. It comes to collect its crops, with its great and sharp sickle. [creepily] It will harvest every ripe soul in Night Vale, the Autumn Specter is hungryyyy! It is Octoberr and it is timme to feeeeeee-duh.

Hey James, this Community Calendar doesn’t seem right, it’s just a bunch of stuff about the Autumn Specter. Also this font size, what-what is this 32 point? That’s just much too large. And it’s printed in red ink and that is a waste of our color toner, James. Eww, eww! This red ink is still really damp. OK, plus there’s nothing about start and end times of the craft fair, or anything about the food trucks, like if the Autumn Specter is hungry, surely it wants some falafel or Korean barbeque or tacos. James, could you just redo this story? James? James? [clears throat] Well, listeners, I don’t know where James went. Um, I can hear him breathing, but I don’t see him anywhere. Yeah, it’s fine, let’s just get onto our first spooky story.

[static, old-fashioned music] One quiet moonless night, not long ago and not so far away, a teenage girl sat in a house that was not her own. It was the home of Tony and Sheila McDowell. The girl was their babysitter, and she had just put the two young McDowell children down to sleep. The girl watched TV alone in the dark living room, only the bluish flicker of a scary movie illuminating her face. The phone rang abrupt and loud, startling her. She raised the receiver to her ear. “Hello?” she said with a slight quiver. “Have you checked on the children?” came a raspy voice. The babysitter ran quickly upstairs, opening the door of the kids’ bedroom. She flicked on the light, and there they were, fast asleep. She went back to her movie, but the phone rang again. “Haave youuu checked on the childrennn?” came the same voice, only more sinister. The babysitter again hurried upstairs, opened the door, turned on the light, and saw the children still asleep. The caller called again and again and again. “Have you checked on the children?” The babysitter, so scared, barely able to move, hung up the phone before the voice could finish its repeated query. When the phone rang once again, she answered and shouted: “Stop calling me!” But this time, it was a different voice. The person on this occasion said: “Ma’am, this is the police. We’ve traced the call. The call is coming from inside the house. Get out, get out!” The babysitter panicked and started to run, but then she remembered: she never called the police! How would they know to even trace the call? So she crept fearfully upstairs to the children’s room, and the phone was ringing again, the clamoring bell igniting her fright. And she cracked open the door and she saw- She saw the young McDowell boy and his little brother hunched over a phone and giggling! They were pranking her, and she felt relieved but embarrassed. And she told them to stop fooling around and go to sleep. And they all shared a good laugh.

Let’s have a look now at traffic. [papers rustling] Um.. OK, well I don’t seem to have a traffic report from intern James. Also James isn’t here right now, because I sent him out to go pick up lunch a few m- Oh, hey James, James, James, James – wait, why are you standing in the control booth? You were supposed to go get lunch and also I’ve asked you a couple of times not to wear that burlap bag over your head. I mean yes it looks great, with the Jack o’ Lantern face drawn onto it, I mean the mouth is a bit lopsided and the eyes are a tad uneven,  you know kinda flat and emotionless, but all in all it’s a cool look, but it’s decidedly not allowed in Station Management’s dress code. Oh, you’re holing a knife, too! So did you get- did you already get that lunch then? Well if that- if that’s the case, you don’t need to cut my sandwich in half, I’ll-I’ll take it whole. And also I need that traffic report, thanks. James? What are you waiting for, the Autumn Specter to do it for you? [chuckles] Hop to it! James?

[clears throat] Well, while James is working on that, let’s get back to my favorite spooky Halloween stories. This one isn’t a story so much as a fun Halloween game. The legend of Bloody Mary.

According to the lore, if you turn off all the lights, and stare into a mirror, repeating “Bloody Mary” three times in a row, she will appear and tear your face off! I’ve never tried this because I don’t own any mirrors, but my husband Carlos conducted this very experiment in his science lab. He said he darkened the room and repeated the name and nothing happened for a long time. But then a figure of a woman appeared, silvery gray and shimmering, and she approached Carlos slowly, her hollow white eyes never blinking. She brought her face only inches from Carlos and said: “Are you for real?” And Carlos said yes, he was indeed – real. And Bloody Mary said: “OK because this time of year, I just get a bunch of giggling, screaming teenagers, and I’m really tired of ripping off their faces for no pay whatsoever!” And Carlos gave her some resources for starting a union and she thanked him and she offered to tear his face off in exchange for the consulting, but Carlos said no, he liked his face, and wisher her luck. Night Vale, pay your malevolent spirits! They’re overworked especially around Halloween. And a 20 per cent gratuity for poltergeists, phantasms, revenants, and ghosts is standard.

And now for t- what the, oh you- [papers rustling] Wait, OK. You know, I thought intern James had handed the traffic report to me, but this is just a piece of parchment with a 9-pointed star seemingly drawn by a finger dripped in blood. And then there are a series of ancient runes scrawled around the outer edges. Now I took runic in college. I mean, most of my friends took Spanish as their language, but I thought living here in the American Southwest, it would be more useful to study ancient Scandinavian and Germanic alphabets. And from what I can make out, these are a message about the return of the Autumn Specter. Ugh, alright. OK. I love that intern James loooves Halloween and whatever this the Autumn Specter is. In fact, James is still in the break room right now construction a sacred totem out of ash tree branches and twine. He’s been muttering to himself all day in a language that I don’t recognize, and the only words I can understand are “Autumn Specter”. But I still have neither my traffic report nor my lunch! Wait, do you think James is… Naah, put it out or you mind, Cecil.

Let’s tell another spooky Halloween story. There once was a beautiful young woman who wore a green ribbon around her neck. She won the affection of a handsome young man. They fell in love and one day the boy asked the girl why she always wore a green ribbon around her neck. She would not tell him. One day the man and the woman were to become husband and wife. In her white bridal dress, the woman still wore her green ribbon. The man asked her on their wedding night if he could untie the green ribbon, but even on the  most intimate of evenings, she said no, and he respected her answer. But he longed to know what she was hiding behind the ribbon. Through the years, the man asked the wife again about the ribbon, but she never removed it, nor answered his questions about it. She only warned him that he would not like what he saw if she were to remove it. He asked less and less, but his curiosity grew and grew. And they became old, very old, and they knew their time left was short. The man asked one more time: “My dearest wife, love of my life, tell me that I may remove the green ribbon from around your neck.” And the old woman said: “My adoring groom, here in our room after all these many years, yes you may. But I caution you, as I have many times before, that you shall not like what your eyes behold.” The man hesitated, but finally reached his weakened, wrinkled fingers to the green bow along her nape. And he tentatively pulled the ribbon, and suddenly it unfurled, falling from her neck, and the man gasped. Upon her neck was a series of ornate letters spelling out “GOTH LIFE”. The woman said: “I got this tattoo in high school but kind of outgrew it and it’s super embarrassing.” And the man replied: “It is for sure weird, but also pretty cool. I like it.” And she never wore the green ribbon again.

You know, listeners, I’d love to bring you that traffic report, but right now, um, I’m facing something much more urgent and more dire. My studio door has opened on its own, and as I turned around, I could see down the long faintly lit corridor of our offices. And at the end of the hallway stands a figure, and he wears a Jack o’ Lantern mask, his head crooked to one side like a dog asking a question or like a hanged man, or both. And it is intern James, and he holds a long knife and he walks, he walks slowly toward me. And he is speaking at first in a mutter, but now louder, a strange shout in an obscure tongue like a magician casting a wicked spell, and he is moving much faster toward me, like a limping run, and his blade is raised high, and James is not an intern, Night Vale, bu the Autumn Specter itself come to reap my soul!

But before he does that, Let me take you to the weather.

[“Welterweight” by Nels Andrews. https://nelsandrews.bandcamp.com/]

So. During the weather, I went to human resources and requested a file on intern James. Oh I’m fine, by the way, and James is not the Autumn Specter, but I’ll get to that. So I found a copy of James’ résumé and cover letter for the position of radio station intern. His application was originally submitted in 1845. “That’s almost two centuries ago!” I exclaimed, but according to HR, they’re pretty backlogged on the intern apps. “What are you gonna do, we get to them when we get to them,” they said from the bottom of their abandoned well. Paperclipped to James’ application was a wrinkled and yellowed news clipping from the Night Vale °Daily Journal, and the article says that James died on Halloween night in 1849 when he was hit by a train. I then went to the hall of public records and found that our radio station was built in 1950, atop the very train tracks where James met hi send. James’ soul has been wandering the halls and offices of our radio station ever since. For all James ever wanted was to be a radio intern. To serve the listening community, to lift high the voice of journalistic truth. And it was his death that led to the shutdown of those train tracks and the eventual construction of a new station home, and the building we still use now. So I was wrong about James. He was an intern, after all, and not a malevolent Halloween spirit.

But I was right that the Autumn Specter had come for me. For when I turned to see James running down the hill, I did not notice the Autumn Specter behind me, with its bony hands and scarecrow mouth, and I did not notice its soul reaping sickle, which it had raised high above its oversized head and stick thin body. And James had given his life for the building of our radio station, and in death, gave his soul for the very same cause. And James threw himself upon the Autumn Specter, and he tried to stab the Specter’s neck and chest, but it-it- it did nothing. And the Spectre pushed James aside and then turned its black coal eyes upon me. And it raised its curved blade once again and swung! I tried to duck, but was too slow. And just as the sickle’s edge reached my face, James dove in front of it and vanished in a burst of white flame, as he was struck. And the room was empty and the Autumn Specter was gone too.

To the family and friends of intern James, he was… an OK intern. Not always on  top of his writing deadlines, but he literally sacrificed his soul for our radio station. I can’t bring you a traffic report today, but I will live to bring you one tomorrow.  If we find a new intern. And HR tells me that we have hundreds of candidates, although  most of them are not yet aware that they are candidates.

Stay tuned next for our new cooking competition show, “Flay Bobby Flay”.

And as always, Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: The road to hell is paved with cobblestone. It’s super bumpy, not at all comfortable, and really bad for your car’s suspension.

[rosesvioletshardy]

life as we know it - b.h. chapter 9

this chapter is shit that’s pretty much all i can say i didn’t know what else to write about also let’s pretend that some of it is accurate because the sources online didn’t really help with this. i also did have more roger and brian in this but i didn’t like the way it was written

i also went to a protest in my city so that’s why it’s bad as well because i was focused on other things rather than this, thankfully my friends and i were able to get ourselves and some others out as soon as they started teargassing so if y’all are out protesting as well please stay safe

masterlist

summary: when their two best friends die, it’s up to ben and y/n to take care of their goddaughter and face the challenges that come with it

# of words: 3,067 (little shorter this time)

warnings: none?

taglist: @myfatbottomedgirls​, @evemarie05, @suckerfor-fanfics​

--

“she’s never going to walk” 

ben and y/n kept encouraging charlie to walk and she wasn’t. every time they tried standing her up, she would either just stand there or fall back down and go back to playing with whatever was within arms reach. now they were sitting in the middle of the room trying to get her to start walking.

“she will. she just needs time. what time did you say we need to be there?” she asked

ben was going to be taking y/n and charlie to the set for the first time since he pretty much bragged about how amazing it looked and told her they needed to see it. ben still hasn’t told the rest of the cast and his new best friends that he pretty much had a daughter now and the whole situation but sort of hinted at it and they were going to figure it out

“charlie still hasn’t even said her first word and she’s almost 1 years old. she gets to be more like christian every single day. she babbles all the time but won’t say an actual word when it comes to it. and he was a lawyer!” he said before crossing his arms like a child defeated 

“we need to be there in an hour. is her bag packed?” he finished

“Yeah i’m going to finish getting ready. please don’t pressure her ben.” she told him kissing charlie’s head and leaving

ben tried one more time and stood charlie up and tried to get her to walk by demonstrating the basics of walking

“look ’s not that hard. you put one foot in front of the other and repeat the process” ben told her trying to show her standing up and walking

charlie just stared at him like he was from another planet and ben completely gave up and sighed

“you’re stubborn like your dad” he said picking her up and grabbing her bag

“Y/N HURRY UP WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW!”

“I’M COMING!” she yelled back walking back down the stairs

y/n put charlie in her car seat while ben was putting her stroller in the trunk just in case they needed it but brought the baby sling for easier use. the ride to the set was quiet with the occasional noise that came from charlie’s toy or her music playing on the radio. it was only moments before ben spoke up 

“when are you going to break up with him?”

“soon. his birthday is in a week and i made reservations for the night. I’ll do it then”

“i just want the best for you just know that”

“i know and i want the same for you”

“are we going to be able to do this” she asked looking at him worried while fidgeting with her fingers

“yeah, i believe in us.” he told her looking back at her

the rest of the ride was quiet until they came onto the set for live aid. ben made sure that everyone knew who y/n and charlie were and that they didn’t get kicked out. he took them to his trailer and told them to wait while he went to the makeup trailer to get ready. she had set up a small place for charlie to play. after a few minutes and a cup of coffee later, someone had entered his trailer. thinking it was ben, she walked up to the door, but stopped dead in her tracks and ended up meeting someone who wasn’t ben. 

“hey be- you’re not ben” he asked

“and you’re not ben either” 

“i’m joe. it’s nice to meet you.” joe said with his hand out

y/n now recognized him, she’s seen a few of his movies and saw the similarities between his and john deacon

“y/n. and this is charlotte, or charlie. our goddaughter.”

“yeah i’ve heard him talk about you guys. i’m really sorry about what happened”

“thanks it honestly doesn’t feel real when someone really close to dies.” she said looking down at her hands as charlie handed her a toy

“i know the feeling. but they wouldn’t want us to mope around all the time and we have to move on while still honoring them.” joe said giving her a small hug as ben walked in

“oh good you’ve met. but they need us on set” ben said walking in

y/n had to do a double take when she saw him. Dressed exactly like her childhood crush with a few differences. she had seen the photos of him from the costume fittings before they started filming and it sometimes made her feel some type of way. ben saw her staring and decided to tease her

“so do i look good?” he said as he turned around 

“oh yeah, i would definitely date someone who’s 51 years older than me” she said sarcastically as she picked charlie up and a few of her things so they can leave

as they were walking, she marveled at everything around them. she knew that movie and tv sets were quite large sometimes and filled with people running around to make sure everything was perfect, but seeing it first hand was unbelievable. 

they were standing on the stage where they would be filming as roger was giving ben more tips on how to play the drums. she didn’t really believe that two people from her favorite band were in her presence. Engaging in another conversation with joe, she put charlie down and held her hands above her hand. charlie stood in front of her legs when she let go of her hands and tried to take a step. she looked down to see her taking her first steps and needed to get ben’s attention without interrupting him talking to roger by waving her hands around

“So, is that your girlfriend and daughter?” roger asked

“no-no she isn’t. the baby.” ben tried to stutter out but couldn’t before taking a deep breath

“y/n isn’t my girlfriend and charlie is our goddaughter. her parents died earlier in the year and we were named guardians.”

“you do like her though, correct? she seems like a very nice girl.”

“i do like her-” ben started while staring at her before seeing that charlie was starting to walk

when he noticed it, he started to yell her name by yelling after apologizing to roger and jogging over to where her and joe were

“Sorry roger but Y/N? Y/N! SHE’S WALKING!” ben yelled getting everyone’s attention to see him almost tripping over the wires around him

as ben got to them, everyone started to cheer even though they had no idea what was happening. He picked her up and spun her around while giving kisses all over her face

“you did it! you finally walked! maybe you’re not as stubborn as your father!” he said 

“i’m so proud of her. i told you she needs time and not to pressure her.” she told him as she took charlie from him

“Okay! Everyone in their places? we’re getting set to film” the director yelled out

y/n quickly went off the stage and to the side. she stood and watched them film and watched in awe. she saw the way rami was moving as freddie, gwilym playing as brian, joe dancing like john, and ben playing as roger. she couldn’t stop looking at ben. the way he was keeping focused even though half of it was playback and mumbling along to the beats even if they weren’t exactly playing. 

she was snapped back into reality moments later when charlie hit her face and grabbed her hair, thankfully they weren’t filming when she gave out a small yelp. 

“okay i think it’s time for your nap.”

the day went on until they couldn’t film no more due to it getting late and no more sun was shining. when ben walked back into his trailer, he found her and charlie sleeping peacefully  on the couch. he took a moment to admire the way she was sleeping and how she slept. whenever she slept in a small space she was always clutching something tight to her, but she wasn’t with charlie in case it was too tight. she felt someone staring at her and slowly started to open her eyes to find ben back into his regular clothes and no wig

“take a picture, it’ll last longer. creep.” 

ben could only laugh while she slowly sat up and made sure she didn’t wake the baby up. ben went over to crouched down to where he was her level.

“it’s late, we should go. did you guys eat something?” he asked

“yeah, wasn’t that hungry so i just had one of the snacks i packed and she actually ate her food. how did filming go? you seemed pretty into it and it looked good.”

“did the scene look good or did i look good?” he asked smirking

“you think playing a rockstar wouldn’t get to your ego but it did. never you knew you would become this cocky.” 

“well i thought you’d like it.”

“uh huh. yeah sure. keep dreaming”

“i will” he winked at her causing her to bow her head down to hide the redness from her face

“oh by the way, the guys and lucy are going to be coming over for dinner this weekend. hope that’s alright with you.” he finished

“yeah that’s fine. we also need to figure out something for charlie’s birthday. she’s turning 1 soon. we could invite the neighbors, jack and melissa are going to be coming over. it’s been a while since we’ve seen them. the guys and lucy can come over if they’re not busy as well.”

“yeah. i really wish they were here to see and celebrate. but we can do this.” he told her, taking one of his hands off the wheel and grabbing hers, rubbing his thumb across the area.

the next few days went by quickly as ben continued to film and practice while y/n went to work leaving charlie with a babysitter a few times. the dinner that they were going to host for the cast was stressing her out due to meeting new people and not knowing what to cook after searching millions of recipes. charlie was walking around more often and at one point y/n had to scold ben for walking around just in his underwear drinking beer with charlie doing the same in her diaper and her bottle. 

as ben was finishing getting ready, y/n was making sure every little thing was perfect. she didn’t know why she was anxious about meeting everyone again when she had already met them. she guessed it was because it was going to be a more formal meeting rather than a quick hello and off to filming. she nearly dropped the dishes when she heard the doorbell ring while ben went and opened it.

he guided everyone to the room and did all the introductions. y/n got out glasses and began to pour everyone a glass. as they all sat down, they began talking and making jokes about how filming was going.

“ok, so you mean to tell me, that you told ben that roger actually wanted him to play live and literally scared him thinking he was going to mess up?” she asked

“yeah, he looked like he was about to shit himself when i told him that.” rami told her

“oh my god, i would’ve paid so much money just to see that” she giggled

“alright, alright, what else would you do if someone told you to do something that you didn’t know if you were prepared for?” ben asked before realizing what he said

everyone’s laughter soon died down and ben immediately regretted what he said. gwilym then cleared his throat and asked y/n a question

“so, y/n, how long have you been living here in london?”

“i’ve been living here for about 6 years now. i honestly love it if i’m being honest but there are times where i do miss my family.” she told them taking  sip of her drink

“you own the bakery Eats ‘n’ Treats? Right?” lucy asked

“Yeah i do”

“i thought i recognized you. i love your pies from there, they're really delicious. what do you put in them?”

“i sometimes put just half a teaspoon in them and some of the recipes are actually from my friend tyler and he won’t tell me what he does sometimes.”

“interesting.” 

“well, all i can say is thank you for having us, thank god for a new group of friends and thank god for queen.” joe said raising his glass 

Everyone clinked glasses and continued the night getting to know one another more and eating dinner. lucy and her made arrangements to go shopping when she was done filming her scenes, y/n learned about the bromances ben has with gwilym and joe and thought it was funny. she got to learn about rami more as a person as they talked throughout the night. the rest of the night concluded with ben and y/n cleaning up the dishes. it was quiet between the two besides when they had to talk during dinner. it’s not like ben meant to word his response like that it’s just that sometimes people don’t know how to react to it. they both felt like they were at fault at it. she washed the last dish as ben dried and put it away, but before she could leave, ben quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her into his chest. she wrapped her arms around his body and put her head on his chest as he did the same and put his chin on her head. they stood like that before ben pulled away and took out his phone and began to play soft music and took her hands and began to spin her

“what are you doing?” she asked him confused following his lead

“we are dancing.”

“i can’t dance.” “neither can i, but it’s quiet and we’re alone. so, no one can know how bad of dancers we are. now, take my hands and we can try.”

they continued to dance and as ben spun her, he pulled her back into his chest where she can feel his heart beating softly

“i’m sorry.” she said

“for what? you didn’t say anything that you need to be sorry for.”

“no, i did. ever since we met, i always thought of you as this playboy who never gave a shit about anything, well besides family and friends, but anything fame and fortune related. then whenever i see you with charlie, i regret everything i have ever said.”

ben didn’t know what to say but he knew she meant it and regretted it. he felt the same in a way. when he met y/n for the first time he really thought he could just get her into bed but over the past year he’s got to know her as a person.

“it’s alright. i understand and yeah it does seem like that way when you’re famous but that’s what the media wants to see all the time. if i’m being honest i don’t like it all the time and this past year and the last several months have really changed me. i want to make it up to you. after you break up with sean. we go on a date. a real one. i’ll try and find a day where i’m not filming all day and we’ll go.”

“i think i like that.” 

“you know i haven’t danced since their wedding?” ben told her

“are you joking? i refuse to believe that. i know you had to bust out your moves sometimes between then and now jones.” she told him looking up at him smiling

“okay, i haven’t danced sober since their wedding. what about you?” he asked with a grin on his face

“i dance when i clean. and sometimes when i’m in the shower because why not?”

“wouldn’t you hurt yourself?” ben asked his with a confused look on his face

“yes and no. i did accidentally cut myself while shaving my leg, but other than that i haven’t since i learned my lesson.” she said as they both laughed continuing to sway back and forth

during the same time, they began to gaze at each other's lips and back to the other’s eyes before leaning in as both their hearts started skipping beats. when they kissed, words were no longer needed for each other. it was neither full of lust or flirtatious like the first time they kissed. his teeth began tugging on her lower lip with their lips then disconnecting. their foreheads stayed connected as they both breathed heavily. she could smell the mix of his cologne and the cigarette he smoked a couple of hours before still on him as she put her head on his chest. 

they stayed in the kitchen for a little longer until they heard charlie start whimpering over the baby monitor. they were confused as to why she started to cry seeing that she hasn’t been crying that often and usually only when they try to get her to eat her. she was about to go up when ben stopped her and went up himself. 

“i’ll go, you’ve been taking care of her so much of her already.” he told her kissing her forehead

y/n stayed back and decided to scroll through her phone until she heard something over the  monitor: ben singing. Slowly walking up the stairs, trying not to make noise, she creeped in the bedroom to see ben holding her and singing radio gaga by queen and rocking her as frankie slept by his feet near the rocking chair

“are you singing queen?” she softly giggled while leaning against the door frame and crossing her arms

“what? everyone likes queen.” ben said with a shrug 

“okay well i’m going to go to bed.” she told him

“night.” he tells her after putting charlie back in her crib

in the time of leaving, she was about to leave with ben following her before she turned around and gave him one more kiss

“Night.” she smirked 

ben gave out small breathy laugh as he left the room turning the light off and closing the door halfway 

“she’s going to kill me one day.”

[gingermcl]

Raising personal frequency and why it matters.

I am not a love and light person. As in we must be positive all the time and negative feelings can’t exist. No. As someone who can literally feel a persons energy, I will say that negatively charged energy has a heavier feel to it. You literally can feel the density in the air in a room shift when an extremely negative person walks in. There is some truth in all programming. Even in psychological operations like the new age movement. The new cage movement. Earth is a realm of duality; good and bad exist here. In a realm of duality, the goal is balance. One must innerstand darkness does exist in all of us and that is ok! Too many people want to pretend darkness doesn’t exist and by ignoring evil, it grows. Don’t let the darkness control you. Anyone pushing that we have to make the darkness go completely away or that it shouldn’t exist is misinformed and I would be cautious listening to advice from said person. I would be leery of anyone attempting to tell another how to live. Pushing your will on another is the definition of black magic. With anything I ever discuss, if you don’t agree that’s cool. I’m always open to hearing new ideas and perspectives; please don’t approach me in a nasty manner. I won’t engage someone unable to have an calm conversation. Engaging and regularly interacting with negativity or negative people is a good way to lower your own frequency. We often tend to carry a frequency similar to our friends, this is why so many outgrow friends after having a spiritual awakening. We literally outgrow people on an energetic level. 

Raising personal frequency is important. Lower vibrational energies literally cannot affect folks on a higher frequency. I made a conscious effort 7 years ago to change who I was. A girl in a rehab therapy group told me about myself and I did not like what I heard. She said I was one of the most negative people she had ever met and as I began to examine my behaviors and my words, I realized she was right. It took a couple years of conscious effort to change my mindset from negative to positive. I can say today the results have been priceless. I am very appreciative of her giving me a wake up call.

If what we are told is correct and atoms are in fact what compose matter; everything in this universe is sound. Atoms are said to be made of waves and vibrations. At the molecular level atoms don’t actually touch. Atoms get extremely close to one another but they never fully touch. They’re independent energy fields and when densely packed together atoms form matter. Matter is dense....which goes along with my observation of negatively charged energy being heavier. Higher dimensions are said to be heavenly and they also do not have dense physical matter. I’m not entirely certain that physical existence isn’t a prison for the spirit. Our bodies are made of cells, prisoners are put in cells. It is blatantly obvious that those in control of this realm would like humanity on the lowest frequency possible. One intention of mind control programming is to lower the frequency of mankind, keep man in a angry, fearful, depressed, lower vibrational state. It is highly likely there are malevolent beings harvesting humanity’s soul energy. This energy is called loosh. All emotions create loosh; for some reason negative emotions generate more or more desirable energy.

The negative humans and other unseen beings/energies who have been in control of this realm for thousands of years now feed on what is known as loosh. Loosh is the life force energy created by humans when they experience emotions. Low vibrational emotions such as anger, sadness, depression, and even apathy are preferred by these negative energies than the loosh generated by positive emotions. Feeding these malevolent energies is why so much programming is done to divide the people, to make us hate our lives and ourselves, to blame mankind for the evil here, and many other trauma based mind control tactics are in place to keep humanity in a lowered state of existence. There are individuals who feel a deep seeded guilt in the heart just for being born due to this programming! The moon is thought to be emitting a low frequency in order to mind control humanity. Hence why when at full power a.k.a. a full moon humans act crazier and even violent. A full moon is when the Saturn moon matrix broadcasts the strongest signal.

If you are a person who has discovered that evil is running this realm, the best thing you can do is to do the exact opposite of what the controllers want; work on making your life peaceful, exposing the evil, healing your trauma and reprogramming yourself, disengage from the “matrix” every way you can. Be mindful of where you spend money, try not to use money, watch your words, push out negative thoughts, and love yourself. Anyone “awake” should absolutely strive for a higher frequency, honestly everyone should strive for a higher frequency. Existence is much more enjoyable and calmer when you are on a higher frequency. The law of attraction is legitimate. We attract back to us exactly what we put out into this world. Putting out positivity attracts pleasant situations and focusing on negativity creates unpleasantries.

Extremely high and extremely low vibrations do not mix, they tend to separate themselves from one another instead. Society is currently being divided. Those who are fearful are going one way and those of us who want unity are going another. How this ultimately will play out, time will tell.  

Sleep paralysis is potentially based solely on frequency. Sleep paralysis occurs when your frequency is too low. I’ve heard folks say sleep paralysis is necessary for astral projection; that is not true. Sleep paralysis is unnatural and caused by a weapon of some kind. A frequency weapon. Those on a too high frequency cannot be manipulated by such technology.

In my opinion being on a higher frequency is better is because you have access to more spiritual information and any metaphysical ability you possess functions exponentially better on a higher frequency. When my frequency goes too low, certain abilities vanish. Frequency fluctuates regularly. It typically stays in a a range normal for you, but extraordinary events like a crisis or confrontation can dramatically drop one’s frequency; it can take days, weeks, or even months to recover from some circumstances. Recognizing how important frequency is and learning how to raise your frequency are important to spiritual development. When on a higher frequency you have a better connection with your intuition, are less susceptible to mind control programming, and psychic attack.

How to raise frequency.

Meditate regularly - at least three times a week for 15 minutes to start

Spend as much time as possible outside in nature

Daily Grounding/Earthing. Walking barefoot on the earth for 15 minutes every day. Weather permitting.

Positive thoughts, actions, words, and deeds. Developing positive mantras to repeat throughout the day is helpful.

Breath work

Engage in as little conflict and negativity as you can.

Avoid alcohol and prescription drugs.

Don’t be too serious or have too many expectations for this will create resentments. Events will never unfold as we expect them to, people are much better served by going with the flow and observing how events unfold as they happen; don’t anticipate events ahead of them occurring.

Work on conquering fears. Especially the fear of death.

Practice compassion, empathy, and kindness towards everyone. Humans are equal; one isn’t better than another. Our life choices and luck is often the only thing that separates us.

Laugh

Exercise. Make sure you do something you find fun, not something you dread. Any kind of physical activity where one is having fun will raise his vibe. Dancing is a personal favorite.

Take a break from technology

Be mindful of how much time you spend on technology. Put the phone down during dinner or when you should be engaging with the people literally in front of you.

Wear and decorate with crystals. Black tourmaline and obsidian are good for negativity.

Decorate with high vibrational plants jasmine, aloe vera, or a snake plant

Be mindful of what information you watch and listen to. Movies, TV, music, social media, etc. It is best to just turn off the TV for good. Television is a weapon. Be very conscious of what information you allow to enter your mind.

Minimize interaction with toxic people. Keep conversations short, topics shallow, and have an exit plan if at an event where the environment may get unpleasant. For example drive your own car, have a friend or the babysitter call and oops I have to go….boundaries to protect your energy aren’t bad.😉

Thank your food for its life and sustenance prior to consuming it (plant or animal.) Doing this changes the food into higher vibrational intake.

Regularly cleanse negative energy from your personal spaces. Energy cleansing methods are decluttering, letting fresh air and light in, clapping loudly in the corners of a room to move stagnant energy, smudging, epsom salt baths.

Aura cleansing, visualization, cord cutting meditations

The above tips will have a positive effect on your frequency. Remember your thoughts create your reality and you get back what you put out into the universe. If your thoughts are consistently negative be prepared to have negative experiences. If you are hopeful, have faith in your ability to manifest & the universe’s ability to make things happen for you, have generally positive and laid-back nature, you will reap great rewards and experience feelings of happiness, contentment, and abundance.

I feel it is obvious by the state of the world today that humanity has been in a very negative state of mind for quite some time. There are millions of us (if not billions) that are here to change this reality, not to adapt to it. We have been called Starseeds, indigo children, and light workers; regardless of label the intent is the same - to create a positive reality on earth, to rid this place of evil, to liberate humanity from enslavement, and teach them a new way to think. We are here to help humanity realize humans are powerful creator beings and these powers have been stripped away by literal genetic manipulation. It is time for the devolution of mankind to end and for humanity to begin ascending back to the higher dimensional consciousness we once were.

[queencarolinemikaelson]

Ice Skating

Klaroline Bingo as hosted by @klaroline-events Prompt // Winter

/

Caroline Forbes was single, and proud.

Being single allowed her to go wherever, whenever, and with whomever she wanted.

She didn’t have to worry about checking in with anyone. She could stay out all weekend if she wanted, and she could stay in whenever she wanted too. She could focus on her career, and herself, and didn’t have to worry about treading on any masculine toes.

There had been a time where she flitted from boyfriend to boyfriend, thinking it was what she needed to be happy. But the older she got, the more she realised she was just happy being with herself, and if the right person came along, she would know.

So yeah, Caroline Forbes was single, and loved it.

But every now and then, as rare as it was, there were days she hated it.

On that particular day, for instance.

It was the day of the whenever-it-works-out friend reunion. A day when Caroline, her entire friend group and their partners got together to have a big, boozy lunch - free from kiddies and responsibilities.

Her friends were dotted around the country by now, so their reunions were rare. This one Caroline had actually organised, seeing as she was the only Chicago local in the group. They had decided on Chicago some months earlier, because some of her friends were coming to Chicago to visit their brother anyway, and it wasn’t much of a stretch for the remaining couples to descend upon the city as well.

Caroline was rightly looking forward to it, it wasn’t often her friends-who-are-parents were able to let loose.

So imagine her displeasure when, she got a harried phone call from one of her friends the morning before the reunion was due to take place.

Because, for some reason, ‘single’ seemed to be friends-who-are-parents language for ‘convenient babysitter’ when they needed time out from their rowdy young ones.

“Please, Caroline,” Elena begged. “The service we hired to mind all the kids cancelled. None of us have been able to go out for months!”

The blaring implication was there; Caroline could hear it in her friend’s plea.

‘Please, Caroline. You can be stuck with children for one day. Going out doesn’t mean as much to you.’

Caroline had been an odd mix of hurt, and – dare she say it – relieved that she was being shouldered out of lunch, because her friends-who-are-parents needed a babysitter.

She was hurt for obvious reasons. Didn’t matter that she wanted to hang with them.  Didn’t matter that she organised the reunion. Didn’t matter that it was her rallying that got them all together. She was the most expendable. Because she was single, she wasn’t a mother; she didn’t need it as much.

But she was relieved because, no matter how much happy she was living her single life, her coupled-off friends usually couldn’t manage to keep their opinions of her singlehood to themselves.

She bitterly rolled her eyes, thinking about how they would like it if she passed comment on their lifestyles with kids, made judgements about their marriages.

“Fine, but you better remember this next time you ask me why I’m still single,” Caroline agreed, haughtily. “And I expect a pretty awesome Christmas present.”

On the morning of the reunion, her small, not-particularly-kid-proof apartment was over run by her five excitable nieces and nephews, and their eight excited-looking parents.

“We can’t thank you enough,” Bonnie gushed, happily, as she stepped through her front door, beginning the slew of compliments for Caroline’s selflessness.

“Care, this is so amazing,” Jeremy said, appreciatively.

“Caroline, you’re a lifesaver,” Elena grinned, gratefully.

“Yeah, barbie, love your work,” Damon quipped, sardonically.

“Care, you truly are the best friend,” Rebekah smiled, thankfully.

“Yeah, Caroline, I know you’ve been looking forward to today as well,” Stefan thanked, profusely.

“We are very much in your debt,” Elijah nodded, graciously.

“I don’t know what all you are on about, Caroline is the reason these things are fun, and you’re making her babysit your kids!” Katherine griped, but threw her friend a relieved smile.

“Not a problem, guys,” Caroline said, with all the grace she could muster. “Now, how are my favourite rugrats!”

The five children chorused their enthusiasm in exuberant cacophony, making all nine adults smile widely at the cuteness.

Before too long, however, eight of the nine adults took their leave, leaving Caroline to wrangle the little ones on her own.

Now, Caroline may not have been a mother, but she knew her way around children.

She babysat her way through high school, then nannied her way through university. Plus, the first baby had been born into the group less than a year after college ended. Plus, Caroline had known all these children since they were born, and just as she was the cool friend in the group, she was the cool aunty.

That experience, coupled with her unrivalled ability to plan the perfect day for any group, Caroline knew the day with the kids would go off without a hitch.

She had every activity planned out, and every item she’d need for each activity in colour coded boxes. She’d only had a day’s lead time, or else she’d have sent each parent a list of things they should pack, to ensure best-day-ever status from the children.

Though, minding all five at once was getting more challenging as the two eldest, Jeremy and Bonnie’s, Rowan, and Elena and Damon’s, Jessamy, were now ten, so endless craft activities didn’t hold the magic it once did.

But never fear, Caroline set up stations for the children to run between, which included every winter activity she could think of; paper snowflake cutting, drawing, Twister, and, the group favourite, gingerbread house decorating.

Each child chipped in making lasagne for lunch, and laughed their way through a team challenge of baking chocolate chip cookies.

They all watched a movie after lunch, munching on their cookies and gingerbread. But by the time 4pm rolled around the kids began to get fidgety, and the lack of a back yard on her apartment suddenly became and issue.

Never fear, however, because Caroline had a contingency for this, as she had for every eventuality.

“All right, kids,” she called, clapping her hands together to get their attention. “Jackets, shoes and socks on, please, we’re going on a special trip. But you have to promise to be extra good okay?”

While the kids eagerly donned their outwear, Caroline quickly shoved snacks, and two thermos’ of hot chocolate into a big bag, before donning her jacket, scarf, hat, and gloves. 

“Let’s go ice skating!”

xxx

“Okay everyone!” Caroline called, as all five kids stood with their feet all clad in skating gear. “Are we excited?”

A squealed response later, Caroline gave them her brightest smile and the green light to take off.

She knew she was taking a bit of a risk with this trip, but she also knew Bonnie and Jeremy took their kids skating often so she wasn’t worried when the two youngest Gilberts, Rowan and Penny, took off immediately. Elena and Damon’s daughter, Jessamy, was a little less confident, but it didn’t take long before she was off after her cousins in a flurry of snow. Stefan and Rebekah’s, Jamie, was also already quite the competent skater, which left Meg, the youngest of the cousins, to tentatively cling to Caroline’s hands as her wobbly skating legs took to the new activity.

But before much longer, even Meg was chasing after her older cousins, just leaving Caroline to grip the railing at the edge of the rink.

“Come on Aunty Care!” Jessamy shouted, excitedly. “You have to skate too! We need six if we want to play this game!”

Caroline felt a wave of trepidation cross over her, she was content staying stationary, thank you very much. She may have been an incredible cheerleader in her day, but that skill did not translate to skating ability. That was a lesson she’d learnt the hard way on her first college date, where she had ended up with concussion and a broken arm as a result.

“Umm, I’m not very good at skating, guys. Can I just watch?”

“No!” came the rousing protestation.

And Caroline, of course, obliged, unable to bear their sad, puppy dog faces for longer than a few moments.

“Fine,” she groaned, cursing herself internally for taking them skating when she knew full well she couldn’t skate.

Caroline shakily put her legs onto the ice, and immediately began to wobble. Rowan and Jamie took her hands encouragingly, and pulled her further onto the ice.

And right as Rowan let go of her hand, Caroline felt a figure zoom past her, too big and too fast to be one of her group, and she cursed the blasted skating trip again, as all hell broke loose.

Caroline’s legs tangled up with Jamie’s and they crashed to the ground. Penny fell onto her knees trying to stop herself crashing into them, leaving Jessamy to crash into her. From there, Meg started to cry seeing all her family in a confusing muddle on the ice, and the Gilbert siblings took it upon themselves to start yelling about whose fault it was.  

Caroline cursed the damn trip a third time, as she contemplated the complete impossibility of scrambling to her feet – because, did she mention, she was terrible at skating – while in the middle of a clusterfork of wailing, potentially injured children.

Then an unfamiliar voice joined the ruckus.

“Do you need a little help, love?”

Caroline froze.

The kids froze.

“Excuse me?” Caroline asked, as she stared at the man who was intruding on quite an embarrassing moment.

He was god-tier-handsome, and Caroline nearly rolled her eyes that this would be the way she met someone who looked like him.

“I asked if you needed a little help, love?” the man repeated. “After all, it’s not everyday a beauty, such as yourself, falls – quite literally – at my feet?”

The flustered Caroline balked at the absolute gall of this man. Sure, he was hot, but ‘a beauty falls at my feet’.

J

E

R

K

That was for sure.

“Now you listen here, buddy –”

She was about to give him a true fairly uncensored piece of her mind, but was cut off when Jamie suddenly cut over top of her.

“Uncle Klaus?

The man’s somewhat smug-and-charming smirk was replaced with a look of confusion.

“Jamie Mikaelson, why are out here all by yourself?”

“But he’s not by himself, Uncle Klaus!” the boy’s cousin cried. “I’m here too!”

“And me!”

“Me too!”

Klaus was suddenly quite squeamish to note every single one of his nieces and nephews were in the pile of small children he had vaguely noted when he stopped to chivalrously aid the blonde beauty who had toppled on the ice.

And he had to admit it was not ideal.

Sure, he loved his family, and fully intended showing up as the cool uncle when they were older – but he was not good with kids at all, and was at a loss with how to proceed.

“Wait, you’re Klaus Mikaelson?” the blonde asked, as she began struggling to her feet.

“That would be me,” he replied, weakly. 

“But why the… why are you… oh my gosh!”

In her attempts to clamber up and talk at the same time, Caroline planted her ass firmly on the ice again with an unceremonious ‘ooof’ – much to the amusement of the little ones surrounding them.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up,” Caroline grumbled. “Come on, we should try and get up. Why don’t we take a break? I packed some hot chocolate for us to drink.

The kids agreed without too much fuss, the older ones helping the younger ones to their feet and skating to the edge.

“Do you need some help, sweetheart,” Klaus asked, as Caroline still struggled.

“I’m good,” Caroline said stubbornly, proceeding to struggle for another minute.

“Do you need some help?” Klaus asked again, this time with a cool, quirked eyebrow.

She just threw him a disgruntled look, but stuck out her arms for him to take nonetheless.

When she found her balance, she kept her hand squeezed tight to Klaus’ forearm, much to his enjoyment.

In the short skate from the centre of the rink, where the incident occurred, to the edge, Klaus got his kicks by unbalancing Caroline, to provoke the small whinge from her throat, and the tightening on her grip on his arm.

When they made it to blessedly dry land again, Caroline jumped back into babysitter-mode, passing each child a steaming drink and telling them not to stray too far away, before turning her attention back to Klaus.

“Why the hell did you barrel me over on the ice?”

“I did no such thing, love!” he replied indignantly. “You were the one to strayed into my path.”

“That is so not how it happened!” Caroline cried. “Why are you here anyhow, aren’t you some big grouch who hates fun?”

“Is that what they say about me is it,” Klaus said, waspishly. “I’ll have you know, that I am perfectly fun, thank you very much. And I quite enjoy outdoor ice-skating. We did it lots when we were children, and my siblings visiting reminded me of that.”

“How sweet,” Caroline said mockingly, though she noted the slight change in mood, and the wistful look on his face. “Wait, you went skating because you’ll miss them?

Klaus didn’t say anything, but his ears reddened, and she knew she had hit the mark.

“I’m Caroline, by the way,” she said, changing the subject.

“Klaus.”

“I had worked that out.”

“Why are you here, Caroline?” Klaus asked. “Didn’t you organise some great catch-up?”

“Well I did, but the sitter bailed,” Caroline said. “And you know, I’m the only child-free friend, so…”

“I see,” Klaus replied.

“Caroline, can we go back on the ice,” Penny whined.

“Oh, sure thing, sweetie,” Caroline said. “Take care of the little ones though, okay, I’m not going to go out this time.”

“But Aunty Caroline, you gotta,” Jessamy sulked.

“Please Caroline!”

“You have to!”

“I’m so bad at skating,” Caroline implored, for some reason, looking at Klaus, hoping he’d back her up.

“Why doesn’t Uncle Klaus teach you!” Rowan said, ever the pragmatist. “He’s a grown up! Grown ups are good teachers!”

“Well, doesn’t that sound like fun,” Klaus said, that smug-and-charming smirk coming back to his lips in full force.

“Yeah! Then we can have seven players for the game! That will be even better!” Rowan cried. “Come on!” 

With that, the eldest cousin was off, and all the younger ones following closely behind.

“Please, you really don’t have to do this,” Caroline said nervously, even as she got to her feet to follow the children at a slower pace.

“Oh I think I do,” Klaus said. “The children have spoken.”

“But…”

“No buts, Caroline, my nieces and nephews don’t take no for an answer,” he said, then leaned in to whisper almost seductively into her ear. “Neither do I.”

She couldn’t help the tingle that ran through her body at that, nor the wry curl beginning on her lips.

It wasn’t too long before Klaus’ out stretched hand was closing on her own, and he was pulling her onto the ice, teaching her the basics. And less time still before he was settling his hands on her waist behind her to help her ‘keep her balance’.

“You move quickly, don’t you,” she quipped.

“Only when I know I’ve got something worth moving for.”

It was only another ten minutes until the kids found their aunt and uncle, and demanded they join in their complicated skating game. And then just an hour before they were back at her apartment, having skated themselves completely exhausted. And then only thirty minutes before the parents were back.

It was only a few minutes after they all arrived that they found out that Klaus had joined them for skating. And then only a few of seconds before Katherine made a semi-drunk, very-lewd comment about Caroline and Klaus sitting in some sort of plant, doing some sort of natural act together.

And she wasn’t far off the mark, for it was only a day later when Caroline heard from Klaus.

And only the day after that when they went on their first date.

 /

Hope you like! Happy Klaroline bingo!! xoxo

[thejustmaiden]

I’ve seen so many shippers say that sesshomaru would be such a terrible parent because he didn’t give her shoes or didn’t prevent her death and that’s why it’s not a father-daughter relationship. Yet also claim that he loved her and proposes to her (drama cd 12 year old girl) and somehow those same arguments don’t count? There’s no leg to stand on to argue that sesshomaru and rin were romantic because that’s literally pedophilia, so the only thing they can do is claim he was a terrible guardian?

Hey anon, thanks for the ask! Hope I can help. :)

You made some great points, thank you!! By their logic, why would somebody even want Sesshomaru with adult Rin at all if he was such a terrible "companion" to her in the first place? If they really believe he neglected her that much and put her in harm's way all the time (because let's be willfully ignorant here and pretend he didn't rescue her multiple times too and eventually leave her to live a normal *safer* life with Kaede), shouldn't they be concerned that he'd be just as bad to her in a romantic relationship once she's old enough, too? That should be something that crosses their mind as well if they weren't so preoccupied with Sesshomaru's supposed lack of parenting skills.

A lot of those shippers like to act like we're only attacking them for implying they must be pedophiles or that they condone pedophilia, but I personally would never make such a nasty accusation about a person in real life. Often times they refuse to address those other serious issues we have with this ship though, because it's really just the pedophilia talk they'll focus on since that's their only easy point to refute.

Aside from the possibility of Sesshomaru grooming Rin since her time in the village, a lot of us anti-s*ssrin fans never actually viewed him as a pedophile-like caretaker to begin with during their times traveling together. The only reason we even bring that up is because we simply cannot ignore when those shippers insist that:

1. He supposedly proposes to her (even when she's still only a child)

2. He's not like a father to her anyway so that's totally acceptable

Nah, even if they're right about him not being like a father to her, that's still plain wrong!! Because then now they're trying to justify an adult male very inappropriately making a move on a young girl here! Perhaps he wasn't pressuring her or forcing himself on her like a true pedophile would do at or around the time of the proposal, but can they really stand there and say that they'd be more than okay with witnessing something like that in real life and not in the slightest cringe??

Okay, this is where a lot of them will argue that this is not real life (so I guess that means we can forgive the child grooming if it's just fiction?), or that older men courting girls soon-to-be young women was the norm in feudal Japan so then that's cool in their books, too. The thing is, even if we can tolerate all that like they do, that's not enough reason to deem it acceptable since it's more than about that. We MUST also factor in that Sesshomaru isn't just some man who took a liking to a blossoming Rin he saw from afar. No no, this man KNEW her and was LIKE a father to her, too!

We can't stress that enough really! Whether by their standards he was a bad father or not doesn't matter, because all that does matter is that he took on a role resembling that of a father- YES, even if we never hear them call each other father or daughter exactly. We also didn't hear him claim outright that he's (falling) in love with her either, so why is one implied but not the other?! It's not like Sesshomaru is a man of many words anyway, but his actions have sure demonstrated to all of us that he cares for this young girl he took in very deeply and very truly. I mean, just look at the large portion of fan art out there for Sesshomaru and young!Rin (not S*ssrin). He's usually fondly embracing Rin or comforting her like a GOOD father or male guardian/caretaker would. So somebody please explain to me why Sesshomaru is only sweet or loving to Rin when it's convenient to your narrative but not ours? You can't just take an angle on their relationship and bend it at your will to justify him being a terrible demon father who didn't know how to protect a young human girl on one hand, but then show and share all this fan art of him doing the exact opposite on the other! It just makes no sense at all. You can't have your cake and eat it too!

So the special bond they formed over the YEARS they traveled alongside each other isn't something they can up and forget just because Rin is finally an adult. That can't simply clean their slate as if they had no prior established history between them. Their relationship resembles one a young girl shares with a grown man who looks after her for a significant amount of time (she didn't view him as just a demon; to her he was at the very least akin to a lord/vassal). So knowing all that we know about what they've endured together, I'd like to believe that Rin could never develop romantic feelings for her main role model, because whether he was physically there for her less than Jaken was is irrelevant. Sesshomaru is the one she really looked up to since that day he brought her back to life, and he's protected and cared for her the best way he could and in a way everyone failed to after her family died. It's safe to assume that Sesshomaru filled that role as you can tell that she finally felt safe and loved for the first time in a long time. Now if Rin were to start to become sexually attracted to this demon who basically came to represent everything she lacked in a family, then I'd be deeply troubled and concerned for her mental health. And same thing applies to Sesshomaru.

I would hope that whenever I have children someday, that they would never become physically intimate with whomever was their babysitter back when they were little. Nah, that man would be arrested!! He was around to watch her grow up and the thought of that being sexualized or romanticized, even if it wasn't intentional, makes me sick. I don't care if she's a consenting adult who is free to make her own decisions, because I guarantee you this is not an image any of us ever want to picture! And I didn't even choose an example with a father. I mean, can you even imagine that? Yeah, I rather not either.....

Nobody liked it when Woody Allen did it in real life regardless if he makes excellent movies, so why would I like to see it on my TV even if it's one of my favorite characters? Nope, Sesshomaru is amazing- and yes, nOt rEaL- but not even he gets a free pass here. Nobody should in any capacity or on ANY MEDIUM (fantasy, reality, etc.) be remotely allowed to get away with such a disgusting act even if it used to be tradition. And no, this isn't just some Western way of thinking. This is a 21st century way of thinking!

Recently, another user on here nicely pointed out to me that an adult can form loving relationships with children and it not be considered a parental one. At that moment, it was like a little light bulb went off in my head!!!! Yessss, this is so true and I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier!!

Because all that S*ssrin shippers like to repeat over and over again to us (as well as to themselves), is that Sesshomaru was not Rin's father. So fine, hypothetically speaking, let's say he isn't her adoptive father. That still doesn't take away from the truth that he was very much invested in the overall safety and well-being of this young girl. He contributed to her care even if it was just passing a message along to Jaken before taking off again. I was a teacher for a few years, and the love and affection I had for those children was real, even if I wasn't their parent and I didn't see them every day. That doesn't change the fact that I would've done absolutely anything in my power to keep them safe-- I would've even gone to the underworld and back!!! You know, kinda like that one character who was such a bad dad. 😉

So you see, you don't need to be the parent or even around all the time to love and care for a child. Bottom line is that Rin, Sesshomaru, Jaken, and Ah-Un are a FAMILY! Granted, they may be a little dysfunctional, but it's not like there's such a thing as the perfect family. They may be far from what a conventional family looks like too, but that doesn't make their family any less valid. Nothing or nobody can or should ever change that ❣

[yorkesteins]

If you're still taking prompts for the baby fic? Since they got married in Vegas without Amelia and the other runaways ~ 099: “Why wasn’t I invited to your wedding?”

Gert needs a new babysitter. 

Amelia’s curled up in Molly’s lap on the couch, and they’ve been watching The Little Mermaid for the past hour and a half. It’s great, because she finally has a chance to sit down and read Bad Feminist without worrying about her toddler finding the nearest electric socket to play with. 

It’s less great when Ariel and Eric get married at the end. 

“Look, Amelia,” Molly says, her voice a little too loud to be just for the baby. “They’re having a wedding. Doesn’t that look cool?”

Gert rolls her eyes. She does not look up from her book. 

Amelia claps, and babbles a little in a way that’s maybe 10% actual words, which is probably an indicator that her baby is a 15-month-old genius, actually. 

“Yeah, you’re right, she did invite all of her sisters,” Molly says. Very loudly. 

Gert slams her book shut, glaring. “Stop brainwashing my kid, Molly.”

Molly raises her eyebrows, bouncing the baby on her lap. Amelia giggles and claps. It’s almost cute enough to make Gert stop glaring at Molly. Almost.

“We’re just talking about the movie!” she says, then bends her head down next to Amelia’s. “I think someone’s feeling paranoid because Ariel managed to invite all five billion of her mermaid sisters who can’t even go on dry land.”

“Oh my God, Molly—”

“Which is way harder than one sister with a working car—”

“Okay, that’s enough screen time for today,” Gert says, getting up and reclaiming her child. Amelia pouts, like she’s not sure if she wants to cry and at the movement, but settles into her arms when Gert presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Let’s go read, hmm? Do you want to go read? Something that’s not about a woman giving up her voice for a man?”

“You told me that was a reductive take that shut downs the opportunity for nuanced discussion!” Molly says, crossing her arms.

Because she’s a mature adult and mother, Gert chooses not to dignify that with a response. She sticks her tongue out at Molly as they leave.

***

Because he’s responsible, Chase asks Karolina to watch the baby for, like, five minutes while he’s messing with some exposed wires on his current project. 

He regrets it. 

When he comes back to get her for nap time, Karolina’s officiating a wedding between Amelia’s Tiana doll and her stuffed unicorn. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he mutters. “Did Molly put you up to this?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Karolina says, leaning Tiana in to kiss the unicorn. Amelia giggles. “We’re just playing.”

“You’re reinforcing heteronormative expectations of patriarchal traditions,” he says, crossing his arms. He’s pretty sure he got all of the words in an order that makes sense. Karolina looks up, raising her eyebrows. 

“Someone swallowed a dictionary,” she says. “And they’re both girls. That’s at least as subverting expectations as getting married in a Taco Bell.”

“Okay, we didn’t actually get married in the Taco Bell,” he rolls his eyes. “Can I have my kid back? It’s nap time.”

Amelia looks up abruptly, because she knows that word now. Because she’s the smartest baby in the world. 

“No,” she says. “Dada no.”

He’s momentarily distracted by the dada of it all, because she’s been saying it for months now, but it’s still cool. Karolina steps in, handing Amelia a little wicker basket. 

“Here, Amelia,” she says, smiling. “Why don’t you show your dad how good of a flower girl you are?”

“Hey—”

And then Amelia’s grabbing fistfuls of shredded paper from the basket in her chubby little fist, grinning widely as she tosses them into the air. Karolina smiles smugly.

“You’re playing dirty, Dean,” he mutters, crouching down and holding a hand up for Amelia to high five when she reaches him. “Yeah, okay. Good job, munchkin.”

***

“Family meeting. Now.”

Gert busts into the Treehouse without knocking, Amelia balanced on her hip. Molly follows, sighing heavily as Chase walks in behind her, glaring at the back of her head. Alex trails behind them all, looking only slightly more confused and irritated than normal.

“Yeah, sure, come on in,” Nico says, rolling her eyes. Gert ignores, grabbing Chase’s hand and tugging him with her, in front of the rest of them.

“We get it, okay?” she says, glaring.

“You’re all pissed we got married in Vegas,” Chase says, crossing his arms.

“Without us,” Molly adds, helpfully.

“I’m not pissed,” Nico says.

“You spelled our TV to play Say Yes to the Dress on repeat for an entire day,” Gert says, raising her eyebrows. Nico shrugs.

“Well I’m not pissed,” Alex says. Chase rolls his eyes.

“You used my email to mass sign me up for, like, every wedding photographer in LA’s mailing list,” he says. “Which is actually pretty amatuer for you, bro. You can do better than that.”

“Stop encouraging him to prank us,” Gert says, glaring as she gently removes Amelia’s hands from her hair. 

“Look, we’re sorry we’ve been giving you a hard time,” Karolina says, biting her lip. “It’s your thing, we get it—”

“We do?” Molly asks. Alex elbows her. “Ow. I mean. We do.”

Chase and Gert exchange a glance, both trying not to grin. Nico frowns.

“Okay, what’s going on?”

“Nothing!” they say, in unison. Molly’s eyes widen.

“Yes, there is,”  she says, pointedly. “You’re getting all Chert about something.”

“Still not a thing,” Chase mumbles. Gert bites her lip, but the smile breaks through anyway.

“It was our thing,” she says, carefully. “We love you guys, you know that, but it just felt like something we needed to do, just for us.”

Molly and Karolina exchange (somewhat) guilty glances.

“But,” Chase says, shrugging. “It wasn’t, like, a wedding.”

“Huh?” Alex says, frowning. Molly grins widely. 

“Does that mean what I think it means?”

“We got married for us,” Gert says, softly, smiling at Chase. “But. Maybe we could have a wedding for you guys. Just us, though. And nothing, like. Fancy.”

Molly yelps, jumping up on the bed, pumping a fist in the air. 

“Just for the record, we would have agreed to it sooner if you guys weren’t so annoying,” Chase says.

“Oh, yeah, the Little Mermaid stunt pushed us back, like, a week. At least,” Gert says, agreeing.

“Whatever,” Molly says, hopping off the bed, running to hug them both.

Karolina beams. “Gert, there’s this amazing dress I found—”

“I can get ordained online,” Alex says. Nico glares.

“No way, I’m getting ordained.”

The bickering overlaps with Molly and Karolina’s rush to plan; Amelia begins to babble loudly, refusing to be left out. Chase wraps an arm around Gert, pulling them both close.

“Regretting it yet?” he whispers. Gert grins.

“Not a chance.”

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

JULY PICKS!

You heard me correctly, I said JULY! Whoosh, this year is going by fast-but not in a good way if you know what I mean. This will be my last monthly wrap up where I am strictly staying home in quarantine as this upcoming week I’m heading back to work in person. Wish me luck!

We had quite the range this month from newly released, reality, musical and then some favorites from last month that I’ve continued watching. Without further ado here we go....

There’s going to be PLENTY of SPOILERS this go round. ESPECIALLY with my first pick of Stargirl. You’ve been warned!!!

DC’S STARGIRL

I need to talk about 1x10 or I’m going to burst!!! As stated above there will be A LOT of SPOILERS IN THIS POST!! So scroll down to the next picture if you don’t want it to be spoiled. 

You’ve been warned...again.

IT CANNOT END LIKE THAT!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Henry! Wow! 1) Epic fighting 2) The backstory and how he wasn’t going to give up on his dad AND THEN how he wouldn’t give into his dad. 3) HE DIED RATHER THAN JOIN HIS SIDE OR PRETEND (which I honestly felt was going to happen). His character arc and I can’t believe it’s over!!! 4) His speech at the end: *weeping.* I knew Brainwave was going to say he killed his mother. It just felt like the build up. Brainwave Jr. would have been a GREAT ADDITION TO THE JSA! AND OMG THE WAY THE REST OF THEM FOUGHT FOR HIM! I loved how they framed it so you could still see them in the back when Henry spoke to his father. Super heartbreaking. Man, it feels like a lot of people have been killed off this first season (or am I just still thinking about Joey?) 

Side note: Check out the Instagram Live between father and son Brainwave on Stargirl’s CW page. Jake Austin Walker did an AWESOME interview in his take over.

This was one of the strongest episodes overall and definitely one of my favorites so far. I agree with many others that while it is SOO GOOD and I want to rewatch it again, I don’t know if I can emotionally yet. I can’t remember the last time I felt that way about a show. 

Some other thoughts this episode: WAY TO GO BARBARA! Way to record them to translate later (such an awesome app btw, how do I get it?). I’m glad her and Pat came more to an understanding because I love them especially with that glimpse into how they met. Jordan’s parents give me the creeps, like the couple from The Visit vibes. I feel like Mike’s got to find out ASAP, especially because he’s spent time in the garage. Something’s got to show him the truth; because I’m really feeling he figures it out rather than being told. Very curious to see what his reaction will be. SOLOMON GRUNDY. Thank God Beth talked Rick down. She really is like Chuck in being the voice of reason. She did really well in the cafeteria too. While I still don’t believe Starman is Courtney’s dad, how cute was it when she put together her and Henry were cousins? Speaking of Court’s dad, who else didn’t feel like Starman was her dad until they saw that upcoming promo? I don’t know who that impostor is but he is not her dad. Something’s fishy.

Loving this show. So happy it’s renewed for a second season!! 

THE 100

From a show I can’t get enough of to one whose final season is a disappointment. I’m not going to spend too much time talking about The 100 because I feel I’ll just be repeating myself from previous posts. However, I did want to include it because I haven’t spoken much about the previous 2 episodes that I wound up watching back to back and I didn’t overly dislike them. 

As many have complained, when you have a final season you shouldn’t introduce SO MANY new characters and just push aside your originals (or the ones who are left). You also shouldn’t include so many confusing plots that are making it look like were the main points overall (like this many world concept was around since the first grounders) and playing with time in so many episodes is hard to keep up with too. Having so many people separated makes it difficult to remember what just happened to this specific group because I haven’t seen them in forever. ANYWAY, I did promise some positives. I didn’t except to like 7x08 because of it being a flashback episode with brand new people that was just going to feel like a potential spin-off pilot. Well...I actually really enjoyed it and the concept that the bunker was used before One Crew. The characters were easy to like and it was cool seeing Allie again (and this time not as the villain). While it felt forced including the orb (is that what it’s called? If not that’s what I’m calling it), but I liked how all the other pieces fit together (ex: the flame, the grounders’ language). Honestly, I surprise myself to say this, but I’d watch another episode. For 7x09, I liked being on Bardo and watching Octavia, Echo, Diyoza and Hope slowly get “brainwashed” I mean trained. We all knew it wouldn’t work for Hope and if I was them I would rather be on Sky Ring than Bardo (but then I guess I’d go crazy, so...) I enjoy the Octavia and Levitt relationship and would love them to work out, but if this show taught you anything it’s to be skeptical. I also want to shift to the Primes plot, just to showcase John Murphy for a second. THAT MAN! What a character development he’s had on this show. From the first season where I was like come on Murphy to now me awaiting his scenes. From cockroach to someone who won’t view himself as a hero. So good and something that is fantastic about this final season. They might have forgotten about other characters, but they’re doing it right by Murphy. 

Well, that was more than I was expecting. ;)   

THE CIRCLE

It feels like I haven’t watched a lot of reality TV this year, which makes sense because of our quarantine situation (but then again I’m watching World of Dance, but that’s a different because it’s more of a competition/dance show. I’ll stop rambling). The Circle is a reality ‘game’ show that could be easily completed during quarantine and social distancing because the contestants do not see each other in person. They each have an apartment in this complex and only communicate with each other on a social media platform called the Circle. The objective is to become the most popular and an influencer who gets power over who stays and who goes in the competition. There’s some side contests throughout, but most of the show is just people chatting through an insta messenger and trying to learn as much as they can. Alliances are formed and cat fishes try to thrive all for the grand prize of $100,000. (Wow, that’s a lot!) It is SUPER addicting and very funny. Having a voice-over narrator really makes it even funnier because she says what we’re all thinking. Just about every episode a contestant leaves and then is able to meet one other person in their apartment. It’s been cool seeing their reactions as oftentimes it’s someone they did not expect AT ALL. I can’t wait to finish it. If you’re a fan of Big Brother than this is definitely for you. Looks like there will be a second season, which I am excited about.  

THE BABYSITTERS CLUB

Jumping from one Netflix show to another. Released on Netflix on July 3rd, I tried not to binge it all in one day because then it would be over (and we still don’t know if there will be a second season yet). This is definitely my feel good watch for July. If you want something that’s a quick watch and just wholesome and fun to escape our current world than this is for you. I always felt so happy after watching and couldn’t wait to watch another. While I was familiar with the franchise--the 90s movie and of course the books (although I was more of a Babysitter Little Sister fan, so I was very excited to see Karen), you don’t have to have any knowledge of the Babysitters Club to enjoy this show. I was hooked just about right away by this new series shown by me watching the first three episodes back to back. I really like how they set up each episode with one girl as the main focus (just like in the books) where she takes over the voice-over narration. Great representation and made modern to fit in with our current times. The first example that comes to mind is when Mary Ann babysits Bailey who is transgender. I liked how Bailey says those are her old clothes while they’re playing. It’s shown in a way that explains the situation without feeling like a lecture. It fits so naturally into the episode. And then Mary Ann’s speech at the hospital is super powerful for both Bailey and herself. This is just one example of how well represented this show is. Extremely strong cast and actresses who are the proper ages. I also love the adult casting and how they threw in a Clueless reference from Alicia Sliverstone (who plays Kristy’s Mom). As someone who is writing for this age group, I really liked hearing and seeing how authentic this show is. 

FEEL THE BEAT

A Netflix original movie that has been on my list for a while that I just got around to watching. It didn’t come out too long ago. In the film, Sofia Carson’s character is a dancer who is a perfectionist. She gets on the bad side of a big NYC producer when she not only leaves her in the rain as she steals her taxi, but also knocks her, accidentally, off stage and becomes a viral video-this basically blackmails her in Broadway. This all happens within about the first 10 minutes of the film and the majority takes place back in her small home town (very Hallmark-like) in Wisconsin. While there her old dancing teacher wants her to share her Broadway wisdom with her young students. Meanwhile Carson has only been a chorus girl, so she doesn’t really have any. What draws her to helping the young girls is the chance to perform in front of a big choreographer that could get her to be the star she always dreamed of. The catch is that it’s the teacher dance in the childrens dance competition. While this might sound like a movie you’ve watched many times before, it was still worth it and a really fun watch. I think the kids really make the movie. They are adorable, funny and super talented. You feel connected with them really fast and want to see them succeed. I loved Dickie and how he joined the group. I think he was my favorite overall. I loved how inclusive the cast was here too (just like BSC) from a mixed race family, to single parents and even a student who was Deaf. It was great seeing the other actors sign to her. Carson’s character, April, can be annoying at times, but you understand it’s her character and something she needs to overcome. As I said before the plot may seem familiar, but the ending was something I didn’t see coming. Overall, wholesome, feel good and fun for the whole family. You can consider to watch while babysitting. (See what I did there??)  

VIOLETTA SEASON 2

She’s back! I know last month when I included Violetta it was mainly me being excited to see the second season FINALLY streaming on Disney Plus. I had watched a few episodes (remember there’s 80 altogether, so even if I watched 20 that’s still very early on and just a dent in the season) and was still getting used to this season. Well, now I’m happy to report I am in the 40s and more than half way. For a bit I was watching many of these episodes a day, which told me that I was loving it again. Recently, I feel I need a little more of a push to watch, but it’s mainly because of certain story-lines that feel like they’re dragging. (For example: Violetta’s voice. One minute it’s fine and the next she’s like dying). For this section I have two words: LOVE TRIANGLES. And I’m not just talking about Violetta, Diego and Leon. For a bit it felt like each character had their own love triangle, which honestly I was loving. These characters have definitely developed a lot from last season, which allows this to happen. Olga was in a love triangle, which just recently got resolved. I think German is still in one because of his alter ego Jeremias. Jackie was “kind of” in one. For her it was more of a misunderstanding, which is very classic on this show. Lots more secrets have been uncovered in these episodes as well as songs! You know how excited I am for those. Overall, I think I’m still enjoying season 1 songs more (which get referenced enough in this season), but some of the season 2 ones are really growing on me. Specifically Leon’s Entre dos mundos and when he sings with Diego Euphoria in English. Also, Yo Soy Asi has been real catchy. I know Frederico will be coming back soon and I can’t wait to see him again!  

HAMILTON

Like many I watched Hamilton this month-actually on the day it came out. It’s been a musical that I’ve been intrigued by, but never thought I’d get a chance to watch because of how popular and expensive it is to see on Broadway. So, I was very excited to hear I’d get the chance when it was to be released in theaters for a special event. Then because of Corona it was released to Disney Plus, which was EVEN more convenient and exciting. I really enjoyed it and watched it twice within the same week. I immediately downloaded the playlist and started singing it around the house. I do this a lot with many of the plays I see, but depending how good they are is shown by how long I listen to the soundtrack. (Some of my top ones are Bandstand, Once, Newsies and Anastasia.) Because there are so many songs in Hamilton it is taking me a little longer to know all the words, but I feel pretty confident with the first act. It was the perfect timing for this to be released on Disney Plus. Not only because it was July 3rd, but also because of the world we are living in. Lin’s diverse cast brings to life the world of 1776 and the revolutionary war (as well as the time after it), but it’s such a strong commentary on our world today. This is something I am continually noticing with historical dramas/pieces being released within the last 5-10 years. It feels like there’s more we can say in this genre than in a commentary piece. I also like all the analysis videos I’ve seen popping up, which just make it even more powerful. (Like it being Eliza’s story and her putting herself back in the narrative. That the play Hamilton is named for both her and Alexander.) I don’t know if all of what I see were intentional, but  either way well done. I hope it doesn’t leave Disney Plus soon. 

1917

And lastly, 1917. I promised quite the range this month and you can see that’s definitely the case. I always enjoy watching war films and with 1917 there was so much hype (both before it came out and after) that I was interested to give it a watch. Giving the movie to my dad for father’s day felt like the perfect excuse to be able to watch it. Even though our DVD stuck in a few places (still don’t know if it was the player or the DVD itself), the film was very entertaining and I would suggest it to anyone who is a history/film buff. Taking place in WWI, we follow two British soldiers as they attempt to deliver a message about an upcoming ambush that could take countless lives. I feel that I often watch more films revolving around WWII, so it was very interesting to be immersed in the first great war. After watching I am not surprised that the film was up for so many Oscars. While cinematography is the first thing everyone discusses when it comes to this movie (and it should be because the one shot/long shot is sooo impressive and beautiful to watch. It really brings you into the scene and has a way of making you feel like you’re there too. There’s a realness to it that’s raw and new compared to other war films I’ve watched in the past), there’s so much more to this film too. First, I like how it connects back to Sam Mendes’ grandfather, so while it’s not a true story it has real facts in it. I LOVE the score and music to this film. In the scene where George Mackay runs at night through those ruined buildings I could really hear how well the music worked with the action. Because of this I made sure to listen to some of the soundtrack and now I’ve added some of the songs into my writing playlist. I have chills just thinking about it. The other point I want to bring up is the cast! While there are SO MANY big names in this film from Colin Firth to Benedict Cumberbatch, the two main characters are played by George Mackay and Dean Charles Chapman and they are the ones with the most screen time. If their chemistry and acting wasn’t so great then the movie wouldn’t be as successful as it is. Because of this I have been watching non-stop YouTube interviews of the two of them for this film. 

They are so well-spoken, stand-up guys and I can’t get enough of their dialogues with each other and others. (You should watch these interviews too). While familiar with Chapman’s time on Game of Thrones, I haven’t seen him in much else, so I’m excited to see what he’ll have in the future (as well as checking out his IMDB page). For Mckay, I’ve seen him before when I just watched Ophelia earlier this summer so that was my first time watching him act. After that film I was curious what else he was in, but it was only after 1917 that I started doing more research. So far, I’ve only been able to watch the short film he was in called Infinite. While only 17 minutes it was very strong and deep. I highly recommend. As I’ve shared on this page already, in another post, the more I hear him talk the more of a crush I am developing. It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced a celebrity crush this strong so soon. This quarantine has to end so I can make it to England to just casually bump into him like one does. :) 

[maximoff-pan]

Déjà Vu (Part 2) | Steve Harrington x Byers!Reader

Summary: When you found out about your pregnancy, you knew you couldn’t tell Steve. Now you’ve broken up with him. He thinks it’s because you don’t love him. You know it’s because you love him too much....But what happens when he can’t accept that you don’t love him? What happens when he calls you out on your lie?

Character: Steve Harrington

Word Count: 3276

Warnings: Pregnancy, some angst (again...oops)

A/n: I really want to thank y’all for sticking with me. I am a giant (GIANT) pain in the ass when it comes to posting consistently and it means so much to me that you’re willing to wait this long for me to post this. Without further ado, I give you, Déjà Vu Part 2!

Read Part 1: here

You could never begin to explain how horrible it feels to keep secrets from the person you love most in the world. No one would truly understand you if you tried. And yet you did....You tried.

The day you watched Steve pull out of your driveway for what you thought was for good, was the same day your web of secrets began to fall apart. You’d never expected your pregnancy to remain a secret forever, you knew it couldn’t, but you thought you were going to be able to keep it hidden for a little longer. At least until you were a few months along.

Unfortunately, your mother knew you better than anyone, and she could sense that there was something off about you. She’d heard it all, every word, every scream, and every lie you had told. It wasn’t hard to tell you were lying. She’d watched you fall in love with Steve. She’d seen how much you loved him, and while Steve may have bought your ‘I don’t love you anymore’ speech (albeit reluctantly), Joyce didn’t. Not even for a second.

When you walk through the front door, you’re too heartbroken to hide from her. You don’t try to wipe away your tears, you physically can’t. Joyce gives you a painful stare that seems to pierce through you. It’s as if she’s analyzing the situation, trying to figure out what to say. She opens her arms, ushering you towards her. “(Y/n), baby, come here.”

“Mom,” You sob into her. “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” Everything you had been holding in comes rushing out, and you find yourself collapsing onto the floor, pulling your mother down with you.

She rubs your back soothingly, and for the first time in her life, Joyce is utterly focused on you. It had always been something with Jonathan or Will. With Will going missing, Jonathan’s constant struggles with bullies and school, and the fiasco with the upside down and the demodogs, you were often pushed to the sidelines. You were the middle child after all.

Despite being Jonathan’s twin, you were younger, something he always had to point out. Not even your birthday was your own. Everything about you or anything that occurred in your life was always consumed by Jonathan. Nothing ever seemed to be solely yours, except for Steve. But now, with you wrapped around her as if your life depended on it, nothing could keep Joyce from you.

“Oh sweetie,” She coos. “You don’t have to apologize. Whatever’s wrong, we can fix it.”

Your heart turns at her words: we can fix it. If only she knew that you couldn’t just fix it, and more so, you didn’t want to.

“You don’t understand.” You pull away from her. Your voice is hoarse and you’re sure you look even worse than you sound. “I have everything to apologize for. This isn’t just something you can put back together.”

Joyce’s worry increases with every breath she takes, but she tries to remain calm. “Then help me understand.” She says quietly. “I want to help you, but I can’t do that if you won’t let me in.”

She watches as you visibly withdraw from her. Joyce knows that whatever is bothering you has to be something big. You wouldn’t break up with Steve over nothing, not with how much she knows you love him. But nothing could prepare her for what you were about to tell her. Nothing could prepare her for how she would feel. And then you said it:

“I’m pregnant.” Those two words are enough to make her speechless, but she isn’t angry. She can’t bring herself to be angry. All she feels is sadness for you, now knowing exactly why you’d sent Steve away.

She places her hand gently under your chin, lifting your face into her view. Your eyes are watery and filled with sorrow, afraid of what your mother might say. You wait for her to yell, but she doesn’t. She lets out a sigh, a calming smile appearing on her face. “I’m not angry.” She says.

“But you’re disappointed.” You state for her.

She shakes her head. “No, not about the baby.” She pauses, giving you a moment to digest her words. “Believe me, I’m not thrilled. I’m more shocked than anything, but you know that I would do anything, give anything, to help you.”

You nod timidly. Her eyes are gazing into your soul, and you shift in discomfort. “I know that mom.” Your voice catches in your throat. “I know you’re here for me, I just can’t help but feel like I’m alone in this.”

Jonathan’s ears perk at the sound of your voice. He swiftly leans into the living room, just enough to hear your conversation, but not be seen. Why did you feel so alone? What did Steve do? He’s not surprised that his thoughts immediately go to Steve. He’d heard the yelling, just not what you were saying, and he’d always been weary of your boyfriend.

“You will never be alone.” Joyce speaks up, and you immediately feel her love. Your mom’s tone has never been more serious. She wraps you in a tight embrace, stroking your hair as you let out a faint cry. Jonathan’s curiousity grows, waiting for either one of you to speak again.

“What if I’m not good enough?” You croak, all the self doubt coming back to you. “I know you’ll be here to help me,” you reaffirm, “but I don’t want to put that burden on you. You don’t deserve that.”

Your mother pulls you in tighter and continues to run her hands through your hair. “You are going to be wonderful. I have no doubts. But I know how much Steve loves you, and how willing he would be to help if he knew.”

“That’s what scares me mom.” The desperation in your voice only increases. “I don’t want him to help me because he feels obligated and I really don’t want him to resent me for telling him. But most of all, I don’t want to tell him, and have to watch him leave all over again. I can’t do that to myself. I wouldn’t be able to take it.”

“He wouldn’t do that to you, and you know that.” She says pointedly. There’s a hint of frustration in your mother’s eyes. You can see it plain as day. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t want you taking for granted a love she never had, or maybe it’s because she doesn’t want you ending up alone. Either way, you seemed to have struck a nerve.

“How can you be so sure?” You ask her.

“How can you not be?” Her words strike you hard. “I’ve watched that boy pour his heart and soul out for you, and I’ve watched you fall in love with each other. He would give anything to be with you. But even if you don’t want to believe that,” she makes a point to look you dead in the eyes, “you need to tell Steve about the baby because he deserves to be given the chance to be a father.”

Your shoulders sink and your stomach drops. “I know.” You reply dejectedly. “I just don’t know if I can.”

Before he can even begin to control his body, Jonathan finds himself racing for the back door. A baby? His mind begins to reel. How could you not tell him that you’re pregnant? And Steve is undoubtedly the father.

Jonathan feels his fists clench in anger. And he thinks back to Steve. Every problem he’s ever had can be rooted back to Steve Harrington. Jonathan had put up with the bullying and the tormenting, and although it took him a lot of getting used to, he was relatively good in accepting your relationship with the former king of Hawkins High, but now he had crossed the line. Getting his sister pregnant? No way. That is not something Jonathan can accept.

Getting in his car, he grips the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. Even if Steve didn’t know yet, he was soon about to find out what was coming for him.

Jonathan remembers Will saying something about going to Dustin’s to hang out with the party and that Steve was supposed to be there. After the fight you and Steve had had, Jonathan knew he’d be with Dustin. Dustin Henderson was the only person other than you that Steve completely trusted, even Jonathan knew that, which meant that if he wasn’t with you, the former King of Hawkins High would be at the Henderson’s.

/////////////

“Dustin! Stop moving around.” Lucas shouts at the curly haired boy.

All six kids are wrapped in blankets on the floor, eyes glued to the television. Snacks are littered in between them as Steve is sitting off to the side in one of the two loveseats.

“I’d stop moving if you’d stop hogging the blankets.” Dustin pokes back.

“Boys, calm yourselves.” Max laughs. “Or Steve will shut this movie right off. Won’t you Steve?”

Steve barely looks up. He sighs dejectedly with a wave of his hand, “Yeah yeah, whatever.” As much as he wants to be the fun babysitter right now, he can’t help but feel heartbroken.

“What’s crawled up his ass?” Mike interrupts.

“Who knows?” Will responds.

“Who cares?” Lucas clarifys.

Suddenly, there’s a shout from upstairs. Steve doesn’t quite register what’s happening until he hears his name being repeated, getting louder and louder.

“Steve!” The kids yell for his attention. His head snaps upwards and Dustin looks at him with concern in his eyes. “My mum is calling for you.” He says.

“Oh.” Steve replies as he gets up to walk towards the stairs leading out of the basement. “Thanks.”

“Mrs. Henderson?” He calls out. “You wanted to see me?”

She smiles as he comes into her view. “Ah, yes dear. Jonathan Byers is here to see you. Said he’d wait outside; there’s something important he needs to talk to you about.”

Steve’s eyes widen. Why was Jonathan here? What did he want? He tries to keep his facial expression neutral. He doesn’t want her to know how afraid he is. “Alright. Thank you Mrs. Henderson.”

She smiles at him once more as he walks out the front door. “No problem dear.”

When Jonathan first sees Steve, he doesn’t know whether to just punch him, or full on kill him. The latter feels like the better option, but as he gets a closer look at the older teen, he notices the brokenness that is radiating off of him.

“What do you want Byers?” Steve can’t help but be cold. “You got what you wanted. You’re sister and I aren’t together anymore.”

“That’s actually what I’m here about.” He gives Steve a serious look.

“Are you going to rub it in my face?” He spits back.

Jonathan grimaces. “Would you get over yourself for one goddamn second?” His voice doesn’t raise, but it becomes much more harsh causing Steve’s eyes to widen. “Or are you that incapable of putting anyone before yourself?”

He watches Jonathan stare him down, and his anger rises. “If this is about (Y/n),” Steve states, his tone flat, “I wasn’t the one who gave up on us. I wasn’t the one who told her that I didn’t love her. That I never loved her!” He’s on the verge of shouting now, and he feels like crying. Despite the feeling, he knows he won’t cry, because he’d cried too much already.

“If you can’t see that she’s lying to you, then you’re not the guy I thought you were.”

“The guy you thought I was?” Steve scoffs, letting out a sarcastic laugh. “And who would that be? Huh? The guy who is incapable of putting anyone before himself?”

Jonathan knows he deserved that, but he needs to get Steve back to you. Telling Steve about your pregnancy out of anger would only cause you pain, and Jonathan would never want to hurt you. When he’d gotten into his car to come find your ex-boyfriend, that had been his plan, (that and to beat the living crap out of him) but now he can see how much damage that would cause. You deserve to be the one to tell him.

“Look,” He begins. “I’m not here to hurt you, or make you feel any worse than you already feel, but I need you to know that she’s lying to you.”

Steve turns to face him. “About what?” He knows what Jonathan’s alluding to, he just needs to hear it for himself.

“For Christ’s sake Steve!” He shouts. “About not loving you. About never loving you.” He gives Steve a moment before speaking again. “I know my sister Harrington, and if there’s any person on this planet that she could choose to spend the rest of her life with, it would be with you. She broke up with you to protect you, not because she doesn’t love you. I’ve never seen her love anyone more.”

Steve feels his heartbeat quicken. “Protect me from what?”

“It’s not my place to tell.” Jonathan states. “But if I were you, I’d go talk to her, and I wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“I can’t leave now.” His voice is shaky. “Mrs. Henderson is leaving soon, and I’m supposed to be watching the kids.”

Jonathan nods at him and smiles. “Go to her Steve. I’ll take care of them.”

Steve’s heart is racing as he begins to jog to his car, fumbling for his keys. “Thanks man! I’ll uh, I’ll see you later!” He shouts back at your oldest brother. Jonathan only shakes his head and laughs, but Steve grins knowing full well that Jonathan Byers never was one for talking.

/////////////

Steve’s mind seems to be traveling much faster than his car. What did Jonathan mean? Why would you lie about not loving him? He’s never been more confused in his life.

Throughout your entire relationship, you had done nothing but show him how much you loved him. For the first time, Steve felt truly loved and truly understood. He thought he knew what it felt like to love someone so deeply. He thought Nancy had taught him that, but it hadn’t been until he was with you that it all clicked. He didn’t feel like he needed to be someone else when he was with you. He didn’t have to be King Steve, or Babysitter Steve, he could just be Steve, Steve Harrington.

That’s why when you told him you had never loved him, that it hurt so much. Because not once in your relationship did he ever feel that you were lying to him. Not once in your relationship did he feel unsure of where you stood and how you both felt.

He’s not quite sure what convinced him of your lie. Was it what you said? Or the way you said it? Either way, it broke him to feel so vulnerable again. He didn’t want to believe what you were saying to him, but after the neglect from his parents, from Nancy, how could he believe that anyone would ever love him? Especially someone like you.

/////////////

The sudden knock on your door shocks you out of your trance. Your mom had headed out to town less than half an hour ago.....surely she wouldn’t be back by now, and Jonathan and Will would never knock to get into their own home. It could be Hopper. You think. Yeah, it’s probably just Hopper.

You sigh as you get up, trudging towards the front door. Your mind refuses to think of him. It couldn’t be Steve. It can’t be him.

Steve shifts impatiently, waiting for you to open the door. When you do, all he sees is the colour drain out of your face. “Steve.” You whisper.

He doesn’t waste a second of time. He brushes passed you, quickly closing the door behind him. You eye him cautiously. He seems annoyed....flustered....maybe a mix of the two. You feel your heart begin to pound in your chest as Steve begins to pace, trying to get your attention.

“Why?” He suddenly breaks the silence.

“What?” You manage to choke out.

He runs his hand through his hair in frustration. “Why did you lie to me?”

You’re too nervous to be direct, and avoidance seems to be your best option. “I don’t know what you’re taking about.”

“Bullshit (Y/n)!” He shouts. “Don’t do this. Don’t pretend I don’t exist.”

Your eyes widen, as the guilt continues to consume you. “Steve. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“Why did you lie?” He repeats, this time harsher.

“No.” You shake your head. “No. Please don’t do this to me.”

“Why did you lie?” Steve gets closer to you, and his voice is much louder now. You’re at your breaking point, you know Steve can see that, and you can feel the tension sparking in the room. He knows if he asks you one more time, you’ll cave. “Why did you lie?”

And everything inside you breaks.

“Because I’m pregnant Steve!” You cry. “Is that what you want to hear? Huh? I lied to you because I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone before. I lied to you because I was afraid you’d leave me, and I was afraid you’d resent me. I lied to you because I didn’t want to hold you back. Because I want to keep this baby, and I don’t want you feeling obligated to be with me.”

You let out a long, shaky breath that you’d been holding. Despite your secret being out, a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. If Steve didn’t want to be with you, then at least you could move on, and you wouldn’t have to feel the regret of not telling him, and not knowing.

“You’re...” He stutters trying to find the words. “How uh...how far along are you?”

“A few weeks.” You reply, and for the first time today, you see Steve smile.

“We’re going to have a baby.” His words come out in a whisper. He’s in awe of the idea, surprised by it, but not upset. A brief silence rests between you two before he breaks it. “You thought I would leave you?”

You’ve never heard him sound more broken. Not even when you told him you didn’t love him. “I didn’t know what to think.”

Steve places his hand on your cheek, looking you straight in the eyes. “I would never leave you.” There are tears in both of your eyes. “I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. Promise you’ll never feel that way again.”

You grip him tighter, a laugh bubbling out of your throat. “I promise.” You lean up to place a kiss onto his lips. It’s tear stained, and messy, and certainly desperate, but it’s also beautiful, and loving, and sweet. Pulling away from him, you mutter, “I love you so much.”

Steve chokes out a half cry, half laugh, and grins. “I promise you, I love you more than I love anyone else on this planet.”

You smile at him once more as his hand gently touches your stomach. “I don’t think that could ever be possible.” He gives you a confused glance, and you giggle. “Just you wait until this kid is in your arms. I think you’ll find you’ve never loved anyone more than him or her.”

“Not even you?” He gasps dramatically, trying to make you laugh.

You look into his eyes with as much love as you can. “Not even me.”

/////////////

Tags: (If your name is crossed out, it’s because tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you!)

@lavender-writer @mercury--moon @ericahrenee @itsfangirlmendes @thetimidsarcasticcat @smileyxdolans @sydkerley @ginger-swag-rapunzel @bluefaeriefury @laurenisheretoo @friendly-neighborhood-tiffany @fangxrll @amtheyst34 @stevesvibraniumshield @deactiveblogx @gabriellawilsnn @yellowhopes @bookworm06 @anchy-bananchy @lil-spidey @sweetsinster @chillinjules @christinawxxx @philopatris @darlingimmafangirl @skelkitt @boltybolt @falling-stars-never-cry @whosbarnes @mylostsoul28 @elizaaishi @anomiatartle @heavenlyholland @loveofmonstersandroses @sugar-skulls-and-roses @ephemeral-limerences @linkispink1995 @addictwithaheavydirtycheetah @idjitdestiel @likemeonlyme

[be-more-chill-evan-hansen]

BLACK FRIDAY SPOILERS

The following post contains spoilers for the new musical, Black Friday, by Team Starkid. Continue reading at your own risk. 

MY FAVORITE PARTS FROM THE BLACK FRIDAY DIGITAL TICKET + OTHER COMMENTARY (IN ORDER OF HOW THEY APPEAR) WHILE WATCHING IT FOR THE 4TH OR 5TH TIME [contains very harsh and explicit language]

**These points will be brought up in another post (involving the Hatchetfield Universe theories)

The ENTIRETY of the Wiggly jingle at the beginning

Jaime saying “his belly’s so squishy!” while jumping up and down

The tights

“Uncle Wiley, where does Wiggly come from?”

James Tolbert (Team Starkid choreographer-turned-actor) STOLE the show

Curt Mega’s dancing in that song killed me

“DO THE WIGGLE!”

ROBERT AND JAMES DANCING WAS EVERYTHING

**Paul still doesn’t like musicals? (I have a theory of where this show takes place in the Hatchetfield Universe but that’s for another post)

The way Paul looks at Emma when she’s on her Cabbage Patch Kid rant!

“I’m Paul. I’m Emma’s...boyfriend.”//“Well, we haven’t put a label on it yet.”//“But we are intimate.” (Bonus: Emma’s glare)

Paul is still awkward I love him.

“I do not get flashbacks. I remember bad things vividly.”

“Thank you for your service.”//“I didn’t do it for you.”

“Ski-ball sucks.” (I wholeheartedly disagree but whatever)

Grace Chastity is Tom’s babysitter for Tim confirmed

Okay. Okay. Okay. OKAY. 

TOM JUST WANTS TO MAKE IT UP TO HIS SON BECAUSE HE FEELS GUILTY ABOUT THE CRASH I’M SOFT

DYLAN SAUNDERS STILL STEALING HEARTS

WHY DO YOU GIVE DYLAN ALL OF THE HEART-WRENCHING SONGS????? I DON’T NEED TO CRY AT 4AM

THE LIGHTING 

 “Excuse me, miss. Do you think it’s okay for me to park here?”//“Yeah, it says ‘no parking at any time’ but I’m sure the loading trucks can just park across the street. Does that work for you?”

“If I won’t support my drinking habit, who will?”

“Hark, the herald angels sing. Glory to a newborn king. A fuckin’ furry little monster’s gonna make me a pile of cash.”

“Tell me, Lex. Do you know why they call it Black Friday?”//“Because it comes after Thursday?”

“Well, friend-o. I have a feeling that these little babies are going to take you so far into the black that you ain’t never comin’ back.” *long uncomfortable pause*

“Oh, you’re gonna make a killin’. That’s an Uncle Wiley’s Toys guarantee!”

FRANK HUGGING THE BOX OF WIGGLYS

“Hark, the herald angels sing. Glory to a newborn king. Peace on Earth, and lots of money. MONEYMONEYMONEYMONEY just for ME.”

JON’S VOICE AS WIGGLY I CAN’T

“mALL security we got a shoplifter. Drop that doll!” (His voice crack killed me oh my God)

HIS OUTFIT (The first time I saw him I went “Oh my God he’s emo”)

“Where’s my sister?”// “Oh no.” *stares dramatically* “Hannah?” *even more dramatic* “Is that what you’ve been telling me every day for the past four weeks? To pick up your kid sister?” *grabbing Lex* “Oh, I must’ve forgot because I’m so stupid.” Ethan needs to take up drama

“Do I gotta put a leash on you like a dog, or my cousin Oliver?” 

“Don’t pull her.”//*voice crack* “I’m nOt.”

“Alright banana split.” i’m not crying 

“You see this hat? This was gifted to me by a great warrior.” *Lex laughs*/*Ethan turns around slowly* “Don’t you fuckin’ laugh.”

“I’d make a great dad, I’m just sayin’.” (Ethan isn’t a horrible person he’s just misguided)

“My mom’s a bitch!”

Honestly the way Ethan looks at Lex

*in the middle of singing* “That’s not how cameras work, babe.”

Hannah’s dancing

ROBERT’S WIGGLES DURING “We’re missing in action.”

“Dear mom, it’s been real."

“I’d say you did your best, but I’m not a liar.”//“Oh, L-I-E-R, babe.”//“We get it Ethan, you’re a good speller.”

“PS: Get yourself a new trailer, because this one? Is BROKE AS SHIT!”

Robert in skinny jeans. Can Robert wear skinny jeans more often please?

Hannah doing the “smoking” thing with her hands.

“Hannah! What the fuck is this [imitating it]?That better be fucking FLOSS.”

UGH LAUREN AS LINDA MONROE IS LEGENDARY

“That’s called a bribe, sir, and it’s illegal...or it should be.”

“I have four boys. Four beautiful, blond, boys.”

“Do you really think your children are better than everyone else’s.”// “In so many words, YES.”

“I hope you don’t get a Wiggly. I hope you fucking die.”

“Well, my children were accidents.”

“Stop crying, Gerald. I wasn’t talking to you.”

The way Tom and Becky looked at each other when they met again ugh.

Whatever that song is called when the Hatchetfield citizens were gossiping about it like I think it’s called “What Do You Say?” or something?

“Tom’s put on some weight.”

“I heard Tom is seeing things.”

Jon is serving looks.

The dance they did when they said “all the years that had fun” killed me

Curt Mega is a treasure

“It’s cold out.”//“Nothing really.”//“How are things?”//“Haven’t seen it.”

“Oh my, God, it’s a train-wreck.”//“My favorite.”//“Give me my tub of popcorn.”//“Just skip to the fucking.”//“She’d never--.”//“Either way this is torture porn.”

“I think I’ll step in and save her.”// “You don’t have half of a chance, bitch.”

“THERE, she looked at his crotch.”//“He looked at her boobs.”

“I like dolls. I’m just kidding. I don’t like dolls. At least, not like that.”// “I missed you.” *everyone freaks out*

The dance that looks like a beating heart around them I love.

“Did you know if you spend money, your kids will love you maybe.”

COREY DORRIS NEEDS APPRECIATION BYE

“Give us your fucking money. Give us your fucking cash.”

SERIOUSLY I CAN’T WAIT FOR THIS RECORDING

“Do we have any morality.”

“What’s a grown man going to do with 85 dolls?”// “Well, one will stay in the box for posterity. One will be used exclusively for bath time.”

“If you’re going to make with the hysterics, TAKE IT TO MACY’S.”// “How dare you. Are you hearing this, Gerald? Yes, call my attorney.”

“I’ll tickle one doll, and one doll will tickle me.”

The bidding war.

“Get your hands off her.”// “Fuck YOU.”

The lighting slowly gets red when they start bidding.

“$800.”//“$3.”//“Can I use these coupons?”

“Well, if you’re not going to sell me that doll, I guess I’ll just gonna have to take it.”

“If he gets one, I’m getting four.” *Linda climbs the counter like Draco*

So the lighting during “Feast or Famine” is just???? The green and red??? Like holiday colors but at the same time it’s representative of greed and rage???? 

Just all of “Feast or Famine”

“What’s shaking banana, you okay?” I’M HAVING FEELINGS UGH

“What’s up with that grammar. Even I know it’s ‘more badder’.” Ethan no

ETHAN NO

“Give me that fucking doll I’m in a hurry.” Okay, Jeff you freaking gremlin man

WHO BRINGS A KNIFE SHOPPING?? Unless he stole that, too.

“Do you see him? Do you see him? Do you see him?”//“YES, I fucking see him!”

James as “Obama” I’m crying

“I’ll hold onto the little...uh...whippersnapper.”

“While you three devise a strategy, I’ll hold on to the little friend.”// “Shut the fuck up!”

“You’re nothing more than a Harvard Law School community organizing prick!” I’M SCREAMING

“Take one step closer to my fwendy-wend and I’ll rip your fucking throat out with my own teeth.”

“No, he’s mine! Back off or I will send a laser-guided ballistic missile to your house in Denver. You’ll be scraping off what’s left of your kids off the FUCKING pavement.”

“MORRIS. Give me that COCK-SUCKING MOTHERFUCKING COCK-A-DOODLE-DOLL” CURT MEGA IS A TREASURE 

“I’ll bite your dick off!”

THE AUDIENCE (AND MY) REACTION TO MCNAMARA 

*Obama voice* “Oh, I’m gonna vomit.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I let myself in.”// “Into the oval office?”

“Monsters and Men” IS A BOP

*yeets the Wiggly off stage*

“DECK THE HALLS” IS A BOP

I would 100% watch “Santa Claus is Going to High School” unironically

“Jingle! Jangle! If anyone sees two elves in my locker, I’ll get expelled for sure.”

The dancing UGH

Lauren is the cutest elf ever

PART THREE OF LAUREN AND ROBERT DOING A CUTE DANCE TOGETHER

“What the fuck am I watching?”

Becky talking about her ex-husband breaks my heart. I would die for her.

“You say you killed your family. I hope I killed mine.” My heart is breaking help me

Becky and Tom are freaking CUTE

“Take Me Back” is the cutest song ever

All of the times the characters mention other dimensions and stuff??? Each has a different context, but Joey’s character did say that Hatchetfield was a special town earlier in the show so????

All of the making out I’m done

Becky’s leg

“I knew you weren’t Santa.”//“A red tricycle.”//“SANTA!” *starts making out*

“This is the best movie ever!”

Robert has to make out with two people every day.

**PEIP deals with Paranormal, Extraterrestrial, and Interdimensional stuff, so if TGWDLM was Extraterrestrial, and BF is Interdemensional, will Nerdy Prudes Must Die be Paranormal? Will we see PEIP again? [I’M GOING TO MAKE A SEPARATE POST ABOUT THE THEORIES WITHIN THE UNIVERSE]

**“There are many dimensions, sir.”

“You want to send me into the fucking Twilight Zone to have a sit-down with the devil?”

“They will build him his birth canal.” Ew

Sherman Young is so freaking creepy

“Wiggly is good. Wiggly is just.”

“Bring forth the infidels.”

*as Linda walks onto the stage* “MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER”

“I dislike that word, Gerald. Cult. No, it’s a new, exciting religion that I started.”

“I’ve met God, He had nothing nice to say about you.”

“Adore Me” is a BOP

“You’ll kneel before me. Kiss my toe.”

“I will destroy everything, and then I will destroy everything. I guarantee I’ll destroy everything in my path. Unless I get what I--shit, Gerald.”

The followers repeating “I get what I shit.”

THE TIE AROUND JON’S HEAD KILLS ME

“I want you to know what I mean when I say my evil shit, ‘kay?”

TEAM STARKID PLEASE MAKE LAUREN A VILLAIN MORE OFTEN

“What’s shaking banana?” DON’T DO THIS TO ME

Evil Ethan hurts me

Hannah doesn’t deserve this

“I’m in the Black and White now. It’s just like California. It never ends.”

“I swear on my own grave.” I’M

Hannah calling Wiggly out on his bullshit

“Well, Webby is a stupid bitch.” JON UGH

“I’m going to eat you riiiight the fuuuuck nowwwww.” This scene just makes me want to give Hannah a hug

“We don’t get tricked. We’re grown-ups.” GROWN-UPS ARE THE ONLY ONES BEING TRICKED I CAN’T WITH THIS MUSICAL

“Tom, how could you? You let her get away!”

Dylan jumping at an audience member

I know people think that Ethan’s magic hat thing was bullshit but like the syringe missed Hannah so like?? 

“You think that in the Netherlands they care about some toy? Hah! Nah, they’re too busy enjoying their free vacations and free health care.”

Made In America is A BOP

THE SNIGGLES

BIG WIGGLY

I feel like Made in America won’t have the same punch on the soundtrack.

Joey’s falsetto

R.I.P. General John McNamara

“MERRY CHRISTMAS MOTHERFUCKER!”

“Uh, oh, Mr. Prezy-wez. It seems you’ve misplaced your bomby-womb. Don’t worry. I’m sure it will turn up somewhere.”

“We’ve lost Moscow, sir.”

“He baited us into World War Three.”//*Wiggly giggles* “That tickles.”

“Is this what I live for? To be choked in a toy store?”

“Black Friday” is such a beautiful song though

“Did I need her more than she needed me?” I’m crying please stop

“I’m authorizing you to use my firearm.”

“Monsters and Men” reprise is PERFECT

“Kids don’t want that piece of shit.”//“What?”//“They’re all into Fortnight, dude!”

“I mean, you’re like 40! You probably think your life is over!”

“Everyone is dying, and that includes me, too.” Jeff is a lyrical genius but he needs to back off of whatever angsty juice he’s drinking.

“If I fail you one more time, the punishment won’t match the crime, cause there’s no pain that could ever explain how I let you down.”

“I failed you once, and I will fail again.” I cried when I watched this the first time

“If I Fail You” is such an emotional song

“Alright, let’s go.”//“Fuck, yeah! Should I move these boxes first?”//“Fuck, yeah.”

Charlotte? Where did you come from???

“The only man that’ll have her now is Jack Daniels.”

“And you, you little shit.” Says Draco, the little shit.

“A magic hat? That’s ridiculous. Only dolls are magic.”

“Is this some kind of a joOoOoOoke?”

“Answer me, or I’ll cut your mouth open with my FUCKING KNIFE.”

“You’re a fucking moron.”// “Then you’ve been out-fucked by a fucking moron.”

Lauren’s wiggles during “He will wigglewigglewigglewigglewiggle his way into life.”

“Wiggle” is such a silly song but the harmonies and choreography????? Iconic.

ROBERT’S TWIRL???

JAMES’ DEATH DROP????

EVERYONE’S SEPARATE WIGGLES????

The crying when Becky shot Linda.

“Gerald? It’s Gary. Yep, we need to talk about the will. Goldstein!”

The red light that symbolized Wiggly being on fire.

The followers deciding to burn with Wiggly.

“I have this cooky, reclusive Biology professor.” *audience loses their shit*

“What am I supposed to do without my iPhone?”//“Wear a watch?”

“What If Tomorrow Comes” is such a haunting song

Kendall’s voice is so GOOD!

HOT CHOCOLATE BOY?

MR. DAVIDSON?

BILL?

The dabbing

Hannah and Lex hugging

Paul hugging Emma and Bill

The Hot Chocolate Boy and the Cinema Kid holding hands honestly adorable and I lowkey ship

A little bit of instrumentals from “Not Your Seed” in the end-credit music?? (From the lyric “Look what happened, nightmare time.”)

That’s it. It’s very long, but those were either my favorite parts or small things I noticed. Mostly just my thoughts.