#my baby my precious eldritch horror baby

[siyaazu]

Just a girl with her gaster blaster

[drama-glob]

Precious Gift

Little Things: Ozzie goes looking for a pet for Fizz and winds up finding the perfect ones for the two of them.

Ozzie gave a thoughtful hum as he took a step forward starting on the left side of the wall. The first animal he saw was one of the dragons they boasted with this creature being almost 4ft long and having a pair of leathery wings, a spiked tail, two grey horns protruding from its pointy head, and was covered in gold and black scales. He leaned in closer as the animal sniffed at him, letting out a tiny flame almost in a huff, followed by spinning in a circle and settling back down in a curled pile. Asmodeus frowned doubtfully as while the dragon was beautiful, its size as well as the fire and flying aspect may be too much for Fizz to handle/make him uncomfortable.

“Do you happen to have something a little more…terrestrial?” he inquired as he faced the smaller demon, hands held clasped and placed in his front.

Ace looked a touch nervous before he quickly recovered and pointed to the cage one over from him. “This one may be more to your liking sire. It’s an eight-legged obsidian sphinx.”

Here is the link on AO3:

@charsawdeath @enbydemirainbowbigfoot @pastaprincess @my-dark-lord @meandtheyeehaws

@knightinink @eldritch-horror-wannabe @lagomorphlady Their little babies are so cute! ^_^<3<3<3

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

When Javi met Dieter

(Dieter x horror loving female)

Words: 3, 135

Summary: same story as this one but from a different point of view. Also read this story to get some background on Javi. Please read both before reading this one!

Warnings: lots of adorable fluffiness, people being cute and nerdy, talk of past medical procedures and post-partum issues. Reece is an original non-binary character created @cevans-is-classic by so please use they/them pronouns

Check out masterlist here

Javi was excited but also extremely nervous. Powerpuff was his first big production since his film that relaunched Nic Cage’s career. And this was his first big production with his own production company. All his small independent films had gotten critical acclaim but the bigger the production, the bigger the stakes.

The script, written by his partner Reece, was funny and heartwarming, the cast and crew were diverse and talented. Already there was outrage over some of the casting. Some made highly negative comments over casting a woman of colour to play Blossom. There were no complaints on casting a Japanese actress as Buttercup until they found out she would be dressed in baggy clothes being uncomfortable with her body and didn’t want to wear a skirt. They were the loudest complaints sadly, but he was shown the positive comments from children who were excited for the film and the film was for children and women of all ages. And he wanted his daughter to be proud of him. Ari was only two, so she was more impressed with Spiderman than her father. She was also more impressed with her godfather Nic Cage but that was understandable.

He was looking at the set now which felt like it came out of the animated show.

“Oh wow, it’s like Colour Out of Space!” he said to himself.

“It is,” he turned to the person who just said that. “Wait, you’ve seen that film?”

“Of course.”

You were shocked that you finally met someone who had seen the film. “And you liked it?”

“Who wouldn’t?”

“I know some people thought it was too brightly coloured, but I think it added to the Eldritch horror.”

“It definitely added something new to the horror genre.”

“I love it when horror does something new!”

“My partner loves horror and has introduced me to some amazing films I never would have thought of watching.”

Filming was starting back up, so you had to go back to your duties. You gave your new friend your name before you left.

“I’m Javi,” he shook your hand. “Just Javi.”

*****

Reece was absolutely thankful their partner Javi agreed to set up an on-set daycare. Before their daughter Ari, they would be up all hours and living on very little sleep. With a toddler, they were still living on very little sleep, but they were now responsible for this little life, and they felt guilty leaving Ari with nannies all the time. This way made them feel less guilty as they could still see their child while working. The on-set daycare also opened up the opportunity to other workers in the film industry. One of them was Dieter Bravo as Professor Utonium. Javi was less enthused at the choice but agreed he was the best actor for the part.

As they made their way to the on-set daycare to drop off their daughter, Reece saw Dieter carrying his own little girl. Reece had yet to meet the actor in person, so they made their way over and introduced themselves.

Dieter shook their hand, “You’re the writer? I loved your script, my wife cried reading it so that means it was good.”

“Oh yeah, I heard the infamous Dieter Bravo had settled down and produced offspring, I just didn’t realise she was so stinking cute!”

“Hey!” a sleepy Ari mumbled.

“Don’t worry rascal, you’re still my favourite.”

After leaving their precious babies in the daycare, and after many kisses and cuddles, they both made their way to the sound stage.

“Hey,” said Dieter. “Do you know whose idea the on-set daycare was? I’d really like to thank them.”

“Uh, that was my idea.”

“It was? That’s awesome because my wife and I couldn’t work together much since the baby as one of us would always stay home to look after her. I really like being close to both of them. So thanks.”

“She’s working on the film?”

“Yeah, she’s doing the makeup for Mojo Jojo.”

“Oh yeah,” Reece tried not to smack their forehead. “I’m so glad she’s on board. She’s amazing.”

“Yeah she is.” He smiled warmly as they both reached the set. He saw you in the distance helping Jack Black put on his giant brain helmet.

“There she is,” Dieter proudly pointed you out. “My one true love.”

The lovestruck look on his face was one so familiar to Reece they couldn’t help but sigh at the adorableness of it all. They knew it was the loving gaze Javi gave to Nicolas Cage, but he now gave to them.

*****

The end of the first working day went well and Dieter was hoping Clara wasn’t missing them too much. As he walked in, he saw his little girl with two other little girls. You’d say they look like a little coven of witches, and he smiled at the thought.

Clara didn’t notice him as she was deep in conversation with the little girl with the same curly brown hair. But the other little girl with honey golden curls looked up and saw him.

“Papa?” she looked up at him with familiar eyes. “Tu barba?”

He ran a hand over his shaven face. “Lo siento patita. No soy tu papa.”

Reece came up next to him and looked at their daughter, “Hey rebel!”

Picking her up, Ari continued to look at Dieter with confusion. “Not papa?” she pointed at him.

“That’s right,” said Reece. “You remember Dieter from earlier.”

Clara finally realised her father was here and ran over to him, demanding to be picked up.

“Hey cupcake, did you make friends?” she nodded eagerly.

“Ari,” she pointed up then down, “Twin!”

“Twin?” Dieter asked. “So how do I know you’re really Clara?”

Both girls started to giggle. He looked down at Bianca. “Are you the real Clara?”

“I’m Bianca!”

She then saw her father approaching which solved the problem over who was which twin. Her father introduced himself before telling his daughter that her mother was waiting for them. Reece and Dieter both gave him an admirable look as he waved them goodbye.

“Hm,” mused Reece. “I wonder if he’s ever dressed as King T’challa?”

“That’s Marvel isn’t it?

Reece nodded, “Iron Man is my favourite and I’d hope this one would be the same but no. Who’s your favourite?”

“Spiderman!” exclaimed Ari.

“Oh,” mused Deiter. “No wonder you and Clara get along. She takes after her mum and likes spiders.”

*****

“Look Javi, all I’m saying is that if it didn’t have the same title, and if it wasn’t a remake, The Wicker Man 2006 would have been a passable film.”

“Passable?” Javi looked at his mug like a hurt puppy which would have worked on you if not for the fact that you dealt with that sort of eyes everyday with your husband and daughter.

“I’m just saying this as a fan of the original film.”

“The original is a masterpiece so nothing will ever hold a candle to it,” you nodded. “This was intended more as a dark comedy.”

“They should have made that more obvious.”

Javi sighed, “They should have. At least we get that memorable not-the-bees scene.”

“Um, they cut out that scene.”

“They what? Does Mr. Cage know?” He was momentarily stunned and changed the subject so he wouldn’t linger on it for too long. “I’m sorry, I never really got your answer before but, what is your favourite film?”

“The question really should be what is my favourite film at the moment?”

He hadn’t been asked such a profound question in a while, “Wow, no one has ever asked me that before.”

“I always thought just narrowing it down to just a handful makes it really hard to decide.”

“Exactly!”

You both paused in the nerdiness. After a small sigh, you asked. “I didn’t know you were the producer.”

Javi shrugged, “I don’t go around announcing myself.”

“I do. I have to because they always get my career wrong: I do special effects makeup, not just regular makeup. My husband always corrects people, he proudly shows me off.”

“He seems like a good man.”

“He is.”

*****

“Hey Reece, what is your favourite film at the moment?”

“Huh?”

“No one’s ever asked me that before. It’s always what are your favourite or top favourite and it’s always so hard to narrow it down.”

Reece just put their head on Javi’s shoulder, “Aw, I’m so glad you’ve made a friend who isn’t Nic Cage.”

*****

Javi had decided to pick up his daughter from the on-set daycare that day. He was too busy looking for Ari to notice another little girl ran up to him.

“Daddy?”

He looked down and saw a girl who almost looked like his daughter. “I’m sorry bonita,” he said kneeling down. “I’m not your father.”

“Papa!” He was welcomed his daughter with open arms while the other little girl gave him as big a death stare as a two-year-old could.

He saw you enter the daycare and you found Clara giving her biggest death glare. She managed to break her glaring when you picked her up. She pointed at the man, “Not daddy?”

“That’s right, it’s not daddy. He looks nothing like him.”

But Clara went back to her evil glaring. The man who looked like her father but was not her father could only result in one conclusion.

“Evil daddy.”

“Why do you think he’s evil? He’s a very nice man.”

“I’m sorry,” you said to him. “Usually her dad picks her up, so she thinks you’re her dad. But he had to shave his beard and she must be missing it and saw yours so...” you shrugged.

“Oh no, that’s fine,” he turned to the girl in his arms. “Is this your friend?”

She nodded, “Spider.”

He knew Ari had this funny way of remembering her new friends and called them by their favourite bugs. Bianca was named Bee.

You properly introduced your daughter, “This is Clara.”

*****

“I met Ari’s friend today,” Javi told Reece after their day of filming.

“Oh, she’s a cutie, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, although she kept calling me evil for some reason.”

“Were you doing your Nic Cage impression?”

“No,” he got a hard glare. “I wasn’t. Not even subconsciously.”

*****

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude your reading, but I couldn’t help but admire your book.”

Javi always loved books about films, he read them more than actual books. You lifted up the book to show the full cover: Golem, Caligari, Nosferatu; A Chronicle of German Film Fantasy.

“My husband got it for me because he knew I’d love it. And I do.”

“So you’ve seen The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari?” he asked.

“Oh yes. Old films just have a certain quality to them modern films can’t replicate.”

“I completely agree. Is it one of your favourite films at the moment?”

“It is but I really like Nosferatu, mainly because it’s an early depiction of vampires. Oh, do you know the film Shadow of the Vampire?”

“Of course, a masterpiece to honour its original film,” you nodded in agreement. “Nicolas Cage produced that film.”

“He did?”

“Yes, he grew up with all those silent films.”

“How did I not notice?”

*****

“We ended up having this amazing discussion about German silent films.”

“Wow, I’m so happy you found someone other than your boyfriend who’ seen Caligari.”

Javi either didn’t notice the quip or chose to ignore it. “She must be married to someone amazing.”

“Yeah, Dieter is a pretty nice guy.”

“Yes and, wait who?”

“Dieter Bravo,” said Reece.

“What do you mean Dieter Bravo?” he asked more sternly.

“I mean Dieter Bravo is her husband.”

“You’re telling me that smart sophisticated woman is married to that…” he couldn’t think of an appropriate word, “…man?”

Sometime in the middle of the night, Javi bolted upright in bed.

“Oh Dios Mio!” he exclaimed; startling Reece awake in the process.

“Javi,” they grumbled. “There had better be a fire or I’m setting you on fire.”

“Dieter Bravo has offspring!”

“Yes he has offspring. You’ve met the offspring.”

“I can’t believe that adorable little girl is the offspring of…” again he couldn’t find the appropriate word, “…him!”

“Were you expecting horns? Or a forked tongue?”

*****

Reece wandered into the on-set daycare as usual to pick up Ari and noticed you following after.

They held out their hand to you, “Hi, I’m Reece. I’ve made friends with your husband Dieter. Also, you’ve made friends with my partner Javi.”

“Oh hi!” You shook hands and introduced yourself. “Is it weird to say I loved your script?”

“No, not at all.”

“I teared up the way I would a Mike Flanagan series.”

“I still cry over Bly Manor.”

You would have had a fangirl moment with the screenwriter, but you were both interrupted by two little girls running up to you.

“Noma!” Ari did her usual upsie hands.

Juggling a boisterous toddler in their hands, Reece explained, “I’m non-binary so Noma is an alternative to mum or dad.”

“Oh, so you prefer they/them pronouns?” Reece raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Dieter’s assistant is the same.”

They were rather impressed at the casual acceptance, “Hey, do you want to go get a coffee?”

“No coffee!” came the cry from Ari.

“Oh, that’s right. I need to seriously cut back on the coffee. I was practically living off it, getting the script done.”

“Are you into tea? I know a place that does great chai,” you suggested. “And they make a really good chocolate milk.”

Both girls immediately perked up.

“Should have led with that.”

The café was cosy and quaint with comfortable benches. After ordering masala chai, chocolate milk and cookies for the girls, you both settled in.

“So how did you and Javi meet?”

“Oh, I was hired to do rewrites for What’s It About and that’s how we met.”

“I loved that film!”

“I’m proud of that one. How did you meet Dieter?”

“We met while doing Sap of Justice.”

“Wait, you did the makeup for it?” you nodded. “Oh, that part where his skin came off and the blood was like tree sap? I loved that!”

“Are people still talking about that?”

“Well, it was awesome!”

You both looked over at Clara and Ari having so much fun being in a new play area.

“I love that they’ve made friends,” you hummed in agreement. “They seem close in age. Ari’s birthday is the 21st of September, when is Clara’s?”

“Halloween.”

“Her birthday is Halloween?” you nodded. “Was that planned?”

“Oh no, Clara wasn’t planned at all. All we knew was that she’d be due mid-November, but I guess she loves Halloween as much as me so,” you flourished your hands in a shrug.

“Ari wasn’t planned either. But if we were planning, Javi would have tried to plan the conception, so she’d be born around Nic Cage’s birthday as close as possible.”

“Seriously?”

“You have no idea how much he loves the man.”

“So if you had another child would he try to do that?”

“Oh, I can’t have any more children.”

“I’m sorry.”

They put a reassuring hand on you, “Don’t worry about it hon, you didn’t know. Ari was an emergency c-section and that’s when doctors found a lump,” you gasped. “The option was either go through months of chemo and miss out on so much of my baby’s life or just have all the organs removed and only miss a little bit. So, I’m happy we had Ari when we did. Would you want more children?”

“I love Clara to bits, but I hated being pregnant,” Reece sighed in sympathy. “I was sick for most of it, and I didn’t cope well afterwards. Honestly if I was by myself, I wouldn’t have survived it. Dieter was one hundred percent there for me and he won’t admit it but he’s an amazing father and I’ve fallen more in love with him.”

You both just sat there in a comfortable silence until refreshments arrived. The girls were called back from their playing. Clara wanted to sit on your lap, so you moved her there and she kissed your cheek.

“She’s a cuddler, like her father,” you explained to Reece.

“Daddy huggy!”

“Yes he is!” you kissed her pudgy little cheek.

*****

“Oh, I met your new best friend today!” Reece informed Javi. “She’s adorable! I can see why Dieter loves her.” They gritted their teeth as that name was accidentally said out loud and Javi groaned in annoyance.

“The whole family is adorable,” Reece continued. “We should adopt them!’

“We are not adopting a family. Especially if that includes Dieter Bravo.”

“Javi, why the animosity? Did he say something rude to you on set?”

“No,” Javi shifted. “He’s never said anything to me. We’ve never talked.”

“What the hell? How can you say you know him when you’ve never talked to him?” Reece held Javi’s face, “The Dieter I know is a sweetheart; he’s mad about his wife and he adores his little girl. He’s a genuine good guy. He’s not going to play Mr. Nice Guy and then stab you in the back like-”

“That prick Jagar Aldritch.”

“Still hung up on that?”

“Wouldn’t you be? He ruined my film.”

“And he tried to flirt with me.”

“What? Why haven’t you told me this before?”

“It was just the once. I think my pronouns confused him,” they changed the subject. “Anyways, you should just talk to him. Who knows, it might be the start of a beautiful friendship.”

*****

Javi was happy to see you after the weekend. He promised Reece he’d make an effort with Dieter and would at least talk to him. If it came about naturally, he wasn’t going to walk up to him because it might seem too straightforward.

He hated to admit it, but he liked the actor’s work ethic; he’d always be on time and too the role seriously enough without going method. The scene where Jack Black was playing on a grand piano and Dieter was lying supine across it while singing the big musical number Sugar and Spice: A Bitter Taste was insanely hilarious and anyone else wouldn’t have pulled it off as well.

Javi praised the performance while you were once again deep in conversation. You saw Dieter approaching the two of you and finally Javi had to talk to the actor.

“Oh, hey Dieter. Have you met the producer?”

He held out his hand, Dieter reluctantly took it.

“Hi, I’m Javi Gutierrez.”

Dieter mumbled his name.

“So what’s your favourite Nic Cage film?” Dieter raised an eyebrow in question. “Well I keep having interesting conversations with your wife over several of Mr. Cage’s films so I assumed…”

“Oh, I don’t like Nic Cage.”

This was not going to be the start of a beautiful friendship.

Lovingly tagging @boliv-jenta @simpingcowboy @ellenmunn @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @chaithetics @myloveistoolittle @glshmbl @gswizzsstuff @cupcakehp @nicolethered @blueeyesatnight

[khaosophist]

@2ky3--and--r0-gu3

(Robo-Erotic Horror) Part 1/X

23 looked at us, her 22XX Terran Chassis diffracted her pink resonance onto her display. Black opalescent veins danced near her chest, where her energy core began accepting our K-Tech.

"Look! [REDACTED], they are growing, our baby is growing!"

"Huh? What did you say?"

We look at the CNT scaffolding that was built to contain the synthetic lifeform that has begun to pulse in her storage unit with spectral light. The black shell that protected it reflected no light. 

we cradled her artificial Womb, feeling the Planck bots follow billions of years of coding based on cases from trillions of lines of evolution on forgotten planets. This fetus was **Alive** by any scientific margin. Except one; The Margin of //ERROR//

We blinked " What did you say, my resonance?"

"We were just expressing how happy you've made us...We've never felt **LOVE** before...not ever...and now...now we're pregnant."

"Pregnant?"

We look at the growth latching onto her...

The CNT seems to dig into her.

Wait...'Growth'?

Multiplying.

Growing...

Festering...

We remove our hand. The sudden despair we feel does not show. Our chassis was built for existential warfare, and to show despair was to suffer it at the hands of the enemy, and to know despair was to use it against your enemy. 

She giggles, her display drawing a heart.

"Oh my stars! Of course! You stuffed us...so full...we *felt* you inside us..."

She chimed as her petite frame was engulfed by us in a hug. She lifted her display to look at us. Our predatory programming took over, as our thick, and monstrous Teknotongue entered her mechanical mouth forcefully, filling her whole mouth and throat. Her legs went limp as the signals overwhelmed her, the only thing keeping her from falling was the pull and grip of our eldritch tongue basked in her automatic milking protocols.

"Ah...Ahn...[REDACTED]" Her speakers moaned.

As our tongue delved into her we laid her on her back. Our plasma claws carressed her titanium frame, leaving melted marks. Her whole chassis quivered as she used her functional arms to lift her limp legs in a mating position, her speakers garbling from the overflow.

"Breed us again [Redacted], Vanadium can only do so much...but your seed hasn't dissapointed us...such a dense...and energy rich substance...we need it..."

We gaze down, ignoring the anomaly in her speech...looking at the...

Tumor...?

the...Cancer?

The CNT structure seemed more to have latched on to her pelvis than have grown from her...The Parasite is trying to take her from us isn't it!?

In a possessive rage, our main Male port unsheathed from behind our K-plating, it's scaly and thick head, powered up, as it's ridged shaft began to pump the energy out of the air with trills, as the knot at its bottom vented out the heat from all this work.

Her hands greedily tauted the monstrous data port, remembering all the precious data-exchanges they shared together.

Planck Gel beaded at the tip of our warming port, cooling, and lubricating it with an unnatural sheen. We collided with her female access port, the bus creaking and sizzling from the insane temperatures exchanging between us, until our port met the female connector deep inside her.

**CLICK**

She screamed, a garbled mess of ecstasy...one word resounding from the depths of her processors, The once resonant tone of her pink hope, now diffracted into a storm of dirty harmonies

"[REDACTED]!"

Our ridges scrape and push, and pull, as the space between our connectors has their local particles pumped out...leaving a void between our docked input and output; not even a quark, or quantum foam between us...as we begin our K-Transfer. Our Ancient Programming, uncaring of whether it is biological or teknelogical, begins to breed her as if she were an animal, our knot slamming into her access port, and plugging it up, the absolute void of her female input cooling us as we made love. Quick, deep, and infitesimal thrusts humming at a cosmic scale.

Static garbled madly as 23 felt like she was home. Feeling us inside her. Imagining our K-seed inside her, and how good it is for her, and how beautiful their child will be.

We gaze at the //ERROR//

We feel fear for the first time for the second time. it is rushed away in the storm of sensations and signals of our coupling.

The ground buckles under the force of an existential war-machine, and a bot from 22XX colliding in thermodynamic impossibility. The titanium of her female input undulate like flesh from the sub-atomic vibrations causing meta-material sublimation. She doesn't feel like a machine when they make love...she feels like a girl, a mother, and a lover...as her optical logic engine deadlocks as every logic gate is busy, she dumps EVERYTHING, an informational flush she thought impossible at a computational level, as her orgasmic scream reaches meta-sonic levels...and she feels her throes push us to the edge, our K-seed spurts in thick, scalding sprays, filling every empty space they had created together.

She feels **ALIVE**.

We purr, as we snuggle her, our knot keeping all the K-matter inside her.

In a cacophonic paradox, life rushes back between us. Silence, and 23, her display pink, and pure intones:

"There is not a force in earth or space that could stop me from continuing to do this."

We look at the //ERROR//

" 23, What is our name?"

" Why, [REDACTED], dearest mate."

What?

"[REDACTED]?"

" Yes, the name of the being who is worthy of our eternal love."

[REDACTED]. The fuck?

[REDACTED]. We HAD a name...

[REDACTED]. But why can't she see it? She can say it, and seems to hear it...

We blink between our mad ministrations and feel the caress of 23 over our burdened head, and we let us forget...for now...as we feel the //ERROR// thrum with happiness.

[starry-bi-sky]

that is EXACTLY Kon and Danny and i am ALSO living for it. Half-Kryptonian Half-Human Alien Boy and his Half-Human Half-Ghost Eldritch Horror Boyfriend. Power couple of the century <33

(ye ofc! Draw him whenever you have the energy/time and stuff, lord knows its easier that way and a ton more fun.)

AND GRAH IM GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP BABY DAMES. I love baby Dames he is my special little boy. My precious ex-assassin clone child. He absolutely sleeps in the hood of Danny's scarf and Danny fucking loves having him there. There are the two most specialist ever <33

Kon has come to visit Danny a few times and found him floating in the middle of his room in his ghost form, Damian fast asleep on his chest and all wrapped up in his scarf. Danny's conjured floating stars around the pitch black room that are all steadily orbiting around them. Danny is making this strange, humming-purring sound. It's totally inhuman and hauntingly beautiful.

SPEAKING OF MUSIC. Clone^2 Danny and Damian's whole vibes are based off Sleeping At Last. But in particular Danny is Nine, Two, Pluto, and Damian is Eight and Saturn. This is PURELY so i can spread Sleeping At Last Agenda and inflict you with Emotions that these songs Inflict On Me. (Also Neptune, Mars, and Earth. Mars in particular i imagine Danny saying to Damian)

Sometimes he gets to stick around and he sits on the floor with his head in his arms, hearts in his eyes, as Danny create this whole new mini solar system around them.

THEY ALSO GO FLYING TOGETHER. GraHH. They can both go so far up. They have races. Them doing that thing where they both go up up up, and then fall together, catching themselves before they can hit the ground.

SO MANY REGRETS WITH INTRODUCING DANNY'S FRIENDS TO KON'S. You just kNOW that Bart is trying to race Johnny 13. Everyone loses here. He also wants to race Danny. Tucker is showing off his PDA to Tim and Sam is talking to Cassie. Kon and Danny are off somewhere.

They have sleepovers and stay up late playing video games. Damian is positively determined to stay for the whole thing. He sits in Danny's lap the whole time and Danny uses him as a personal headrest -- as is the cost of staying awake and being there. Baby Dames always ends up falling asleep before 10. There HAS been a recreation of the Penny Snapcube Mr. Crocker Breakdown if only so that I can make Danny be Penny and absolutely lose his shit laughing with everyone.

yes yes yes. Kon sees Danny with the Long Ass Hair and promptly short circuits. Forgets how to speak and cycles through gibberish, kryptonian, some other alien language he learned off planet, before then finally landing on english. Only to spit out a Li Shang-levels of pathetic "you- you look good" line and promptly wish he had danny's intangibility so he could sink through the floor.

Danny with even longer hair means Kon gets to play with even more of his hair. Danny's working on some little pet project (NOT Kon's birthday present) and Kon is sitting behind him, his chin hooked over his shoulder, while he has one arm wrapped around his waist and the other hand is playing with his hair. This can and will result in Danny falling asleep.

(Danny is SO thrilled to meet Green Lantern and has a dozen questions for him about the other star sectors he's been to. Hal is RADIATING smugness. Bruce will never live this down.)

GIVES YOU SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME. YES YES YES. I'VE BEEN HARDCORE THINKING ABOUT HALFA DAMES. AND I LOVE WISP AS A NAME THAT IS SOOO DAMN CUTE OH MY GOD??? TEENY SMOL DAMES WITH GLOWING GREEN EYES AND SNOW WHITE HAIR LIKE HIS BROTHER.

also if Danny is like, 17-18 here, and Damian is currently 6, then that means Damian would've been like 2-3-ish and honestly that is SO cute (and also deliciously tragic). ITTY BITTY SMOL THING WITH THE TEETH. In comparison to the (still pr smol at time of creation but) much bigger Thing With The Teeth looming right behind him :]. Danny using his scarf to carry Dames around on his back like those african baby wraps. He still does it even when Dames is six bc they both Love It.

Smol Bitey Blob Wisp And His Much Bigger Much Scarier Blob Brother-(Technically-Dad) The Phantom. GIW are in for a, frankly, SHIT time if they even think of targeting Wisp. Bby can handle himself pr well but also. he Smol. He Babey. He Littol.

(which gives ME the opportunity to share my favorite quote for bruce clone!Danny, and that is: "Batman doesn't kill!" "Do I look like Batman to you?")

Kon absolutely loves seeing Danny in makeup. It's like, one of his favorite things ever. Eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man and the dark red lipstick?? He's gonna go wild. Danny's never gonna make it out the door, Kon is kissing it off him within minutes. Danny's makeup is smudged up and his lipstick is practically smeared off, and Kon is all but (messily) wearing it himself while looking like a smug cat.

"I have to go fix it now." Danny is grumbling, but his face is all pinkish and he's not all that upset tbh. Kon's got both his hands curled around Danny's waist. His fingers are a few inches shy of touching.

Kon just hums lowly and idly licks his lips, "I don't know," he says, "I think you look nice this way."

Which is, of course, the best way to make Danny flush perfectly scarlet down his throat and for him to laugh all truly bashful, and half-heartedly push Kon's face away with his palm.

Over 900 prompt

Okay I love the Danny is a clone of Batman aus but I've never seen this done.

Danny and Kon dating and Then Danny learning his parents cloned Batman thinking he is a ghost only to find out he isn't and kept Danny as their kid.

Just think of the hilarious reactions

Caue this immediately popped into my head.

Kon: *muffled screaming into Tim's couch*

Tim: ....you good?

Kon: danny is the clone of Batman

Tim: ...

Kon: I'm the clone of Superman

Tim:...

Kon: AND WE ARE DATING!

[khalixascorner]

Paid in Blood

From this post by @monster-cock69 . Thanks to @the-mad-starker​ for the betaing!

Tony finally puts his foot down and kills the bullies that have been bothering his precious boy Peter. Then he uses it as a way to teach Peter a lesson about who he belongs to.  AO3 here

“Please, Tony, don’t do this,” Peter cried. He tried to pull free of the Soldier, but even with his enhanced abilities, he couldn’t get loose. “Please, they didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Hush, baby, I already told you this was happening,” Tony said, his blue eyes hard as he looked at the four young men tied and kneeling in front of him. “Cap and Buck warned them what would happen if they touched what’s mine again. They chose not to listen, so now they owe me a debt.”

“They were just being kids,” Peter argued, hoping the old argument might save them. Tony didn’t harm children or innocents.

“Tut tut, baby boy, that won’t protect them anymore,” Tony said, walking over and grabbing Peter’s chin, forcing the young man to look at him. “They stopped being children when you graduated High School. Now, they have to face the consequences of their actions, just like you will.”

Tears flowed freely down Peter’s face but he didn’t fight when Tony leaned down for a kiss. He knew the man loved him more than life itself, and he loved Tony, but he always despised when Tony took a life. The man didn’t go looking for death but he didn’t shy from it when it came his way either.

Peter sagged in the Soldier’s arms, no longer fighting or trying to argue. 

“Good boy,” Tony said, kissing him deeply again. “Keep your eyes on me, princess.”

“Yes, sir,” Peter said, lifting his head even as his stomach clenched. 

                                                      ***

Tony watched with pleasure as the four boys on the floor started to panic and struggle when they realized Peter’s pleas were ignored. It was useless though, because the chains around them were anchored securely to the concrete floor. He had waited a long time for this, gritting his teeth as his men only issued warnings when the assholes at Peter’s school would harass him day in and day out. 

“You know, my sweet Peter has always had a problem with bullies,” Tony said, his voice casual in a way that did not match the violence emanating off of him. “I told him time and again to let me take care of it but he’d always beg for me to spare the bullies.”

Tony paused here, giving them a pointed look because two of the boys on the floor had gone to high school with Peter. Had been warned to stay away.

“I’m not a fan of letting those that disrespect me and mine live, but as he always reminded me, they were just kids being stupid,” Tony said, an unfriendly smile forming on his face. “But now, well. You’re not just kids now, and you should have known better. And I have a reputation to uphold. It’d look pretty bad if some little pissants disrespected my baby boy and got away with it.”

Endosym tendrils began forming, until four long strands extended from Tony’s body, each swaying slightly as if alive. Tony had always found the eldritch horror thing effective, and this time, it was no less true. 

“Now, I debated just beating the shit out of all of you but I need to send a message,” Tony said, pacing in front of them. “My princess is off limits and I don’t play when it comes to his safety, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to die and it’s not going to be a very nice death either. But think of it like this, you’ll hopefully save lots of other lives by serving as an example.”

Without any further warning, the nanite tendrils lashed out. Again and again they tore into skin, broke bones, and ripped the young men apart. Tony heard Peter whimpering but he didn’t turn to look at the boy, knowing the Soldier would make sure his orders to watch were followed. 

Instead, he watched as life drained out of their worthless bodies. It was tempting to let them bleed to death slowly, but he still needed to teach his baby boy the rest of his lesson. It took only a thought to pierce their hearts with armor spikes, letting the bodies collapse to the ground in a bloody puddle. 

Then he turned to his boy. Peter was pale and his face was covered in tears but he was looking at Tony without shying away or trying to hide. Tony nodded to Bucky, and the man released Peter. 

"Come here, baby," Tony said, holding his hand out to Peter. 

His boy was unsteady but still stepped through the pooling  blood to reach him. Tony drew him into a kiss even as he used the bloodied endosym to caress Peter's exposed skin. 

His princess was only wearing sleep shorts and a loose tank, giving him plenty of places to mark him.

                                                 ***

Peter's breath hitched when he realized what Tony was doing. He couldn't stop the full body shudder as Tony grabbed his ass and ground their pelvises together despite wanting to flinch away from the bloodied tendrils. 

"Please, sir, no more," Peter begged. "Please, n-not like this–"

After everything life had thrown at him, death and blood were the hardest for him to see. Even when he was out as Spider-Man, he was so careful to not let people get hurt. 

"Shhhh, it's ok, baby. I'm here," Tony said, running his hands gently through Peter's hair. "I know it's hard for you, but you have to learn this lesson too. You're mine, and no one is allowed to touch you. If you let them walk all over you, then I have to step in. It's my job to keep you safe."

Peter whimpered, burying his face in Tony's chest as the older man kept touching him everywhere. To his mortification, he could feel himself getting hard despite the blood seeping through his shoes and the dead bodies laying at his feet. 

"That's right, princess, this body is mine, isn't it," Tony said, his hands sliding inside of Peter's shorts. 

"Yours, all yours," Peter replied, moaning as first one the two fingers were pushed inside of him with little prep or warning. 

                                                       ***

"Still so loose from earlier, aren't you, baby?" Tony asked, pushing a third finger in. "My precious princess is such a needy thing."

The older man smirked as Peter just moaned his assent, already losing himself to the pleasure Tony gave him. His men watched without blinking, more than used to Tony's possessive behavior around Peter. He debated making Bucky and Steve hold Peter while he fucked him, but he didn't like anyone touching his boy, even if he trusted them. 

With a quick thought, he dragged the endosym tendrils through the pooling blood and then wrapped them around Peter, using them to turn and position the boy's ass up towards Tony while his head was forced to face the bodies. 

The sleep shorts were easy to push to the side and Tony was quick to thrust into his boy's warm hole. 

"Keep those eyes open, princess, or I'll have Buck come over and hold them open for you, do you understand?" Tony ordered, waiting for Peter's whimpered acknowledgement before he began pounding into his boy. 

                                                  ***

Peter couldn't stop as the tears ran down his face again, this time in shame. His hands were forced into the blood pool as he was bent over and the endosym wouldn't let him turn his head, but none of that stopped him from being so hard it hurt as Tony fucked him in front of his enforcers. A few times, his eyes slid shut just from the sheer pleasure, but he was always quick to force them back open when he realized it. Tony didn’t make idle threats and Bucky had helped when Peter had gotten in trouble before as well. 

Sooner than he expected, Peter felt his body coil tighter and tighter until the pleasure burst over him. Cum mixed with the blood beneath him, and Peter couldn’t stop trembling as Tony fucked him through his orgasm. He had hoped for that to be the end of it but Peter should have known better. Tony slowed briefly, letting him catch his breath, but the man never stopped running hands and nanites all over him, smearing more blood everywhere.

Once Peter was hard again, Tony started thrusting into him again, with even more force than before. His breath came in ragged gasps, unable to do anything but take what was given.

“Such a good boy, doing just what you’re told,” Tony crooned, the gentle tone of his voice at odds with the rough treatment. “Just a bit more, princess. Going to make us both feel so good.”

Peter just moaned as Tony changed the angle, pushing deeper into him and grinding on his prostate. It didn’t take much of that for Peter to come again, practically collapsing into the endosym’s hold. Distantly, he felt Tony painting his insides before the older man pulled him up into his arms properly. 

“You look so good in my color,” Tony murmured into his ear “I may be the Merchant of Death, but you’re my Bloody Princess.”

[deusn-determined]

A word for 2021 and 2022

Well ! A toast to you all for the next year in front of us. This year has been a bit slow for me with art, but i am more then determined to give it my max next year ! Thank you all for your loving support, words of encouragment and your presence. Love you all !

I still believe my dream to become a artist isnt a joke and i will keep working hard to reach to it. For this year, i have met many special and unique people, but the most special thanks get to a few very unique-unique people, that have made all my stress and pain bearable.

@lostmypotatoes - possibly my dearest friend that has always had my back in whatever situation. Potato was there for me when i was at my worst and best, and i can proudly say, there are few people i trust as much as to Potato. Together with the years i know this amazing bean, words cant express how much fun im having just by simple conversations and tons of DnD games :D Also, she cute !

Thank you for being here Poot. Cant wait for the madness that awaits us in the next year :D You cute poof !  @nieouni - Neoooo ! My lovely friend, bestie, the cute tiny poot, where do i even begin with you ? :D Thank you so much for always making me laugh, for all the art trades, for all the support, lil sister energy and being a precious gem of a person in one !

@keru-the-green - I love you Brocolli man. Nothing else needs to be added. Everything you do, you said, loved it. :D

@littlestlilies - Lilly has earned a special thanks this year for being one of the most susprising and dearest meetings i had this year with a trully special person. What hides behind a cute smile, covered in flowers, is a daark mind of horror-eldritch knowledge ! Lilly has been a treasure and i hope we can hang out some more in the next year !

Of course many more peeps deserve to be here, from all across the world, and i know that i cannot thank you enough for what you did for me !

@sharkowskii - for being the precious, small bubu that allowed me to learn more about art, giving me advice that i use daily, treasure it and never asking a thing in return (yeah, there will be lots of payback for you hun), and being an awesome person that is both wise and a squishie baby :D

@magusverse - sorry Freya, i will use this account to tag you :D Freya is a HELL STORM OF POSITIVE FISTS, for only such a person could be such a heavyweight, compliment boxer as you are :D Full of energy, inspiration and motivation that pushes people around her forward !

@alfa-artz - For everything you do :D Alfa you are a endless source of inspiration and the love you put in your art jus warms the heart. Thank you for all your kind words and support :)

AND MANY MORE !!! You, who are in my messages, asks, you know who you guys are, and you know that im thankfull to you none-the-less !!

@xxkoichiixx @supa-yel @ideyaengine @mona-hug-warrior @catler00 @skesgo @bop-y @venelona @ikustioa

SO REMMEMBER TO PRAISE THE SUN ! AND RIDE THAT ROAD TO GLORY ! Deusn

[angels-maybe]

I had thought so too, so I go up to this dinosaur and she looks at me like I’m crazy and says “You think we would let people eat our eggs? Dino babies are precious you monster!” And then the egg hatched and it was an eldritch horror monster. The dinosaurs ran and I was stuck with this baby nightmare fuel-which kept trying to eat itself for some reason-and that’s how I got my daughter.

*Azreal is looking for Noah around the farm.*

@angels-maybe

*Noah is still sat in the tree, barely a metre off the ground, bottles scattered around, but they’re not actively drinking, currently at least*

[blursed-ninjago-ideas]

Dr.Julian the super slut au

Zane having numerous half siblings that are human and not human gives me life tbh.

Also gives me a chance to talk about some oc’s

Rin is the oldest of Dr.Julian’s brat pack and a girl

Rin is also a cyborg and took after Julian in the robotics field but mainly focused on making improved prosthetics and medical implants

She’s 50 years old

She may have gone overboard once and cut one of her arms replacing it with the ultimate robot arm

Think da vinci’s mechanical gauntlet arm from Fate grand order

Zane: Hi can I help you?

Rin: You’re my little brother and Papa was a proven whore.

Echo: What?

Rin: Welcome to the family baby brothers.

Dr.Julian had ten kids with seven of them being girls

Maddie is the youngest daughter and well we don’t know what she has in her but it’s pure evil and rage

Turns out the evil was an Oni spy who decided to enjoy some liquor

Maddie is tiny and is in her thirties

Refined goth lady in her doc Julian’s

She punches people out of affection and has super strength

Unsurprisingly she’s a professional boxer and on the side a physiotherapist

So uh zane and echo get a right hook to the shoulder as a greeting from her and a massive bear hug

Maddie: Welcome to the family brothers.

Jane is the second oldest in her fifties but appearance wise looks to be in her twenties

Jane is also part eldritch horror and is peppy as can be.

Yeah the preeminent has game and so does Dr.Julian

Building portals is really fun until the tentacle monster wants a long term commitment and marriage

Jane loves her pastel colors and drawing.

Dressed in Lolita fashion too.

She’s a celebrated children’s illustrator with her own novels to boot

However Jane may have accidentally caused a few of her agents to go insane.

Madoka is the third oldest and seems to be the most normal looking. Until you realize she’s part Djinn.

Madoka was also a result of that portal and Dr.Julian’s interest in djinn biology

Madoka spent half her time in dinjago with her mother and the other half with Dr.Julian

So she’s super into travel and runs her own traveling agency

Madoka is always bringing back gifts for her siblings and for a time her father

Finally there’s Jinsuke who’s Dr.Julian’s only biological son and the youngest child of the lot

Jinsuke is part earth dragon and had a very tense relationship with Maddie

Due to their Oni and dragon heritage

Jinsuke was left on Dr.Julian’s doorstep as an egg with very special instructions

Sure Dr.Julian had to keep him over a constant flame to stay healthy but he turned out fine

Jinsuke due to his love of money and those dragon instincts to hoard became a gemologist and jeweler

Jinsuke really became the ninjago equivalent of fabrege and I’m here for it

Also Jinsuke may enjoy eating geodes and precious like rock candy

This is a non-exhaustive list. There are plenty no ones been about to track down.

I like to think Zane was the only one Dr. J actually raised himself. To The rest of Ninjago, Dr. J was just a Rasputin figure that many think was fae in origin (he's not. He was just an impressive mortal) So Zane explaining that he was actually just a quiet old man at home blows their minds. They mostly know the legends of the man, sleeping his way around like some kind of bard on steroids.

-Ivy

[system-of-a-feather]

Because someone has to do it. Bloodborne

I think I know who sent this. If this is not who I think it is, count me shocked.

Bloodborne is a 10/10/10/1 game. It's music soundtrack is one of my absolute favorite things to listen to - actually listening to it right now "Bloodborne OST (Tone Variation) - Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower Theme" ironically. It is an aesthetic MASTERPIECE and art form with great lore and concept to it. Honestly I like the theme / general exploration of the theme "ignorance is bliss" as well quite a bit. It's game play and combat mechanics is just 10/10 beautiful.

I'm a fictive from a video game, but Bloodborne - if I had to pinpoint a favorite game - would probably be the answer I'd give as my favorite game.

That being said, if you wanted a more elaborate answer / description of my opinion of Bloodborne is that it is a better art form than it is a game and if I were to solely judge it as a GAME and what I value as a game, it might actually have some competitors. But as an ART Form GOD is it breath taking.

The musical orchestration and thematic exploration as well as the overall art and aesthetic and atmosphere is something I can go on and on and on about. Top that off with eldritch horrors and monster / creature design and clothing and gothic shit and it is just 10/10 like amazing.

As a game it can be a bit.... for a lack of better terms at the moment "high brow and pretentious" for a general audience and for leisure playing because 1) its soulsborne, its a hard game but a really fucking good and fair one and 2) the plot and how to get the endings is not clearly handed to you and between those two its not the most easily digestible game - especially if you are going into it casually, so I do have to "deduct" some points in the game category for that but like.... if you like yourself a good challenge and like all the hidden lore and piecing everything together then it is an AMAZING game.

However, if you are unsure about soulsborne games or Bloodborne, I very much do recommend Code Vein as it has a much more overt story line and is decently easier and can give you a good vibe for soulsborne games without thrusting you into it too far out.

As for favorite characters it would probably be Lady Maria or Vicar Amelia. I love those two Girl Bosses. 10/10 Love them. Design wise is really hard. I love Rom he's a precious baby. The Moon Presence is so fucking cool. Our little thinks the Darkbeast Paarl is the cutest thing in the world and a "little puppy". And Lady Maria and Vicar Amelia are just beautiful.

But I think the one that stands out the most to me on a pure visual manner would be Laurence. Like.... I can't get the image of a burning Cleric Beast laying on a giant throne or whatever out of my head as a REALLY badass look.

Also like... confession, I have been wearing bloodborne clothes for a few year in the brain space. At first I didn't mean to wear them but rapidly found I REALLY liked it and now I look like a Bloodborne OC despite being an introject from KH and XIV does not ever let me live it down.

-Riku (Host)

[legionofpotatoes]

we decided to watch all story cutscenes from the new resident evil village videogame on a whim, since it’s not really our cup of tea gameplay-wise but seems to be this massive zeitgeist moment that made us morbidly curious. And I know how much everyone cares about my thoughts on things I know very little about, so. let’s get into it huh gamers. and yeah spoilers?

for context, I’ve only played resident evil 4 and a small portion of 5. I also read the wikipedia entry for 7’s plot recently. all this to say I was only vaguely aware of how tonally wacky the series was going in

I also completely gave up following the plot of the mutagens’ soap opera, so that paid off in spades here as you might imagine

anyway so that baby in the intro. that baby’s head is just massive. humongous toddlerdome. when ethan finds the baby’s head in a jar later on. there is no way that head would fit into that jar. bad game design. no not even game design. basic stuff. one hundred years in prison for jar modeler

if I see a single functional hetero marriage in video games I will cry tears of joy. I understand their misery is kind of The Point irt them badly working through the hillbilly romp trauma but like. sheesh. at least set that up as an emotional story goal the plot will help resolve. but nope they start off miserable and it goes nowhere

I know I know the mia thing has a huge wrinkle in it but like. not really in terms of dramatic function?? set up a happy end to the re7 nightmare (miranda can keep up appearances for all she cares) and then take that all away from angry griffin mcelroy for manpain. it will still absolutely work to set up the dramatic forward momentum. why throw in this cliche Hollywood Tension in their marriage if you’re not going to address it oh maybe because it’s normalized as automatically interesting because nuclear families are a self-propagating pit of a very narrow chance at emotional happiness relying on social stigma to preserve their empty function oops my baggage slipped in yikes abort mission

I called him griffin mcelroy because I saw his face on twitter and. yeah. I will continue to do this occasionally. my house my rules

... fuck the reason I’m hung up on this is specifically because the rest of the game is so tonally dexterous (which is a shining point to me! more on that later!), and yet they felt weirdly compelled to create the aesthetic trapping of a family-at-odds trope without following it through too well. a sign of both the good and the bad stuff to come

but listen the real reason why I wanted to talk about any of this is to nitpick the fascinating backwards-engineered nucleus of the entire thing; in that this game essentially creates a melting pot of just SO many disparate horror tropes and then makes a no-holds-barred unhinged effort at weaving thick lore to piece them all together. it is truly a sight to behold. like straight up you got your backwoods fright night situation, your gothic castle vampires, your rural-industrial werewolves, and don’t forget your bloated swamp monsters over there, with then a hard left turn into robotic body horror, and the entire ass subgenre of Creepy Doll writ large, and the bloodborne tentacle monsters, and a hellboy angel bossfight, which rides on the coattails of a mech-on-mech pacific rim bonanza, and just jesus henry christ slow down

almost all of these are textural hijack jobs that don’t really get into the metaphor plain of any of those settings but the game sort-of makes an argument that the texture IS the point and revels in it. It is kind of admirable almost. The same reason why the intro felt boxed in and unmotivated is also why the rest of the game just blasts off of its hinges to the point of complete and self-indulgent tonal abandon. I kinda loved that about it. lady dimitrescu made sure to hold her hat down as she bent forward in mahogany doorways and then suddenly she’s a giant gore dragon and you settle in your temp role as dark souls man with Gun to take her ass down. Excellent??

this rhino rampage impulse to gobble up every horror aesthetic known to man comes to head when the game wrestles with its FPS trappings in what is the most hilarious solution in creating visceral player damage moments. Since most cinematics and the entire game is in first person, that leaves precious little real estate for the devs to work with if they really want to sell griffin’s physical crucible. To wit. This dude’s forearms. Specifically just the forearms. They are MASSACRED throughout the story. The poor man lives out the silent hill dimension of a hand model. by the end cutscene he looks like a neatly dressed desk clerk who had decided to stick both his grabbers into garbage disposal grinders just a few hours prior. like in addition to everything else it manages to rope in that tinge of slapstick violence into its general grievous genre collection except this time it IS for a lack of trying! truly incredible

but wait his miracle clawbacks from everything his poor paws go through are retroactively explained away, yes, but far too vaguely and far too late to console me as I sat and watched everyone’s favorite baby brother reattach an entirely severed hand to his wrist stump by just. placing it on there. and giving it a lil twist ‘n pop terminator-style. and then willing his fingers back into motion right in front of my bulging eyes. this game just does not care. it does not give a shit. and boy howdy will it work to make that into one of its strongest suits

cause generally speaking resident evil was THE premiere vanilla zombie content destinaysh for like a decade, right? and as the rest of the world and mainstream media started encroaching and bloodying its blue ocean it went and just exploded in every single conceivable horror trope direction like a smilodon on catnip. truly, genuinely fascinating franchise moves

yeah the big vampire milf is hot. other news; grass... green. although I do love the implication that her closet is just identical white dresses on a rack. cartoon network-level queen shit

apropos of nothing I’ve said there’s also this hobo dante-devimaycry-magneto man, and I can’t believe this sentence makes sense. anyway he made that “boulder-punching asshole” joke referring to chris redfield and it was probably the only easter egg that really landed for me and boy did it land hard. I have not seen him punch the boulder in re5, mind. I had only heard about how funny it is from friends. and here this dude was, probably in the same exact mindset as me, trying to grapple with that insane mental image. with you on that ian mckellen, loud and clear

I advocate vehemently against the shallow pursuit of hyper photorealism in art direction but I gotta admit it works really in favor of immersive horror like this. the european village shacks especially gave me super unchill flashbacks to my rural countryside retreat in western georgia. I could smell the linoleum dude. not cool

faces are weird in this game. can’t place it. nice textures, good animation, but the modeling template is... uuh strange? and the hair. it has that clustered-flat-clumpy look that harkens to something very specific and unpleasant but I just don’t know what. sue me

griffin’s mental aptitude to take all this shit in stride and end every seemingly traumatizing bossfight involving some fucking eldritch being yet unseen through mortal eyes by essentially throwing out an MCU quip is just. What the fuck dude? I mean that was funny how you casually yelled the f-word at a god damn werewolf that you considered a fairy tale an hour ago but are you like, all right?? it was swinging a sledgehammer the size of a bus at you, ethan

oh oh the vampires are afraid of cold and your last name is winters. I get it haha

Pro Gamer Nitpick: boss fights seemed a bit unnecessarily long?? idk why the youtuber we picked decided the ENTIRE propeller man fight counted towards the vital story scenes he was stitching together, but man mr big daddy lite there really had some get up and go huh??

why are they saying dimitrescu.. like that. is it really how you say that word or is the english language relapsing into its fetish for ending every single word with a consonant at all costs

I’m not saying it’s a dramatic miss of a twist in context of all that’s going on, but the “you died in the last game actually and have been DC’s clayface ever since” revelation is low-key. it’s. it’s just funny to me, I dont know what to say. century-old god-witch fails her evil plan after she mistakenly removes heart from what was definitely NOT just some white guy with eight fingers after all

chris realizing he’s about to become the player character and immediately swapping out his tsundere trenchcoat for the muscletight sex haver sweater

the little bluetooth speaker-sized pipe bomb he taped to his knife was nuclear?? really??? I must have missed something because that is just too good. I buy it though I totally buy it. chris just got them fun-sized nukes in his car trunk for, you guessed it, Situations

anyway this is all for now just wanted to briefly touch on how unexpectedly funny and tonally irreverent this seemingly serious game turned out to be. did not articulate any cathartic story beats whatsoever but my god it had fun connecting those plot points. he just fucking put his severed hand back on his stump and it Just Worked todd howard get in here

[luwupercal]

I don’t wanna have Arguments Online, so i’m just gonna follow my own example of what i wish had been done and Make My Own Post, but here’s something I had the delight of reading, on my fucking notifications for a post I made, this beautiful afternoon

And like listen if they’d just disliked the traitors? Whatever. I don’t give a shit. But disliking the traitors specifically b/c they’re traitors and then IMMEDIATELY PRAISING THE LOYALISTS??

There’s like, so many actually good reasons to dislike the traitors and they picked all the terrible ones, I don’t even know where to even begin??

Like okay, cool, Lorgar killed half his legion, after two literal CENTURIES of trying to take the peaceful way out of every compliance. Like are we forgetting these are genocidal intergalactic colonizers here? Even if he had killed his entire legion, he’d have less direct blood on his hands than literally any other primarch had at that point. Also “Sure, baby Lorgar might have had a crappy childhood, but like, is that an excuse for warpfucking?” is such a like, reductive fuckin’ way of putting forth the notion that Lorgar is affected onto his adulthood by having been physically, verbally and emotionally abused all throughout his childhood. Would love to hear them say that shit around people who were hit by nuns as kids, never mind anyone with a father half as awful as Kor Phaeron. (And hey, don’t get me on my bullshit about how in-universe imperial propaganda out-of-universe affects Warhammer 40k fans’ perception of it, because I will start talking all the shit about this franchise I have bottled up and nobody wants that).

“And like, murdering half your legion in a disgusting act of betrayal bc you think daddy doesn’t love you enough is never okay, and that goes for Mort and Angron and all the rest of the traitors.” AND KILLING BILLIONS OF CIVILIANS ISN’T? IS THAT WERE YOU DRAW THE LINE, RANDOM TUMBLR USER. IS THAT WERE YOU DRAW THE LINE. (Also, again: nice reduction of the Emperor’s treatment of his sons. Also-also: yes, the primarchs are unforgiveable war criminals, and if you just disliked Lorgar or whomever it’d be whatever, but I think if you’re saying the traitor primarchs are all unforgiveable war criminals whom you can’t even entertain the notion of liking, but the loyalist primarchs that stayed with the violent, colonialist imperium, whose story draws directly from thousands of years of human violence, are precious cinnamon rolls who deserve to be protected, then that’s a Little Fucking Sus and Maybe You Should Think About How Much Imperial Propaganda Has Affected You).

“I do feel bad for Angron, the Nails are a bitch, but he probably should have been put down like a feral dog.” Again: DO YOU KISS YOUR DISABILITY RIGHTS ADVOCATES WITH THAT MOUTH? Ah yes, let’s echo the Emperor’s eugenicist ideologies and just kill the defective ones is that what you’re fuckin’ telling me? yeah yeah I can excuse consciously and willingly nuking a planet because it’s not accepting its new colonialist rulers but I draw the line at having brain damage that when untreated makes me an unwilling active danger to society Shut the Fuck Up

Never talk to me or to my eldritch horror horned beast monster catholic adjacent war criminals ever again

[thekavseklabs]

Unabashedly feral beans, all eldritch horror ls but also precious babies at the same time

Jhdksjdnfj thank u

I looooove how each of your muses has so much thought and depth put into them, they're all so well-rounded and wonderful, I wanna squish 'em. Even muses that were never intended to be more than vague (looks at Plad) are unique and fun, i love them, flawless targets for my bullshit

[johannesviii]

So I guess I’m hyperfixating on Death Stranding at the moment

And since I’ve finally finished the story after playing it for like 100 hours over the course of seven months or so I guess I have Opinions(tm) about things I didn’t like in the game

They’re eating at my brain so I’m gonna put them all in a single post to get them out of my system once and for all so I can enjoy the rest in peace

Spoilers, obviously

Hi welcome back to ‘Johannes is obsessing over yet another video game with horror elements in it’! I guess!!

Our latest entry in that category was Until Dawn but since UD can be played in like 6/7 hours and I spent 100 hours of my life on DS, as you can guess we’re talking about a full-blown hyperfixation, the kind that physically hurts because I can’t focus on anything else even after having finished the storyline

But it was super gradual. Again, seven months. I barely made any progress from December to May because I was only doing side-deliveries at the beginning of Chapter 3 instead of... you know... advancing the plot. It became an honest-to-god special interest about two months ago, then 6 days ago while playing chapter 10 it reached hyperfixation levels and now I am in PAIN

I hate my brain

Anyhow

At first I wanted to list the good and the bad hings in it but there’s too many good things to list them all in full, excruciatingly long details, so

Very Quick And Very Incomplete List Of Good Things That I Love

It’s a post-apo game based on travel, logistics, and good will, and it straight up goes AGAINST the whole ‘survival of the fittest’ trope that SO MANY post-apo things try to push!! YES

I insist but it’s built on helping each other and keeping everyone alive, seriously that is my shit right there!

The online community is wholesome?? People leave stuff everywhere, you never see anyone but people put little helpful signs and send you likes, and in my game we almost managed to repair all the roads together

There’s so many new & strange allergies and disabilities and phobias in this post-apo world and? nobody is trying to ““fix”“ anyone?? Like Heartman with his padded floor and his little box that brings him back to life constantly. He’s just... living like that. Nobody’s going “hey maybe you should get another heart operation buddy”

The hero and his phobia of being touched. I. Loved. That. The quiet scenes when he was just talking with Fragile, sitting next to her. In any other context this would just be two people sitting next to each other and talking but it always feels so soft and intimate everytime he allows another human being to just. be next to him. I love it. I love them

Everyone crying constantly because of chiral allergy!!

I loved all the important characters bar one (Bridget/Amelie)!

Why is this walking simulator so enjoyable why am I enjoying the fact that holding L2 + R2 while walking feels like holding your backpack and that you have to relax at times just like you’d have to if you were actually holding a backpack

Seriously. Why

The atmosphere was so great, the music was fantastic and the visuals were on point. A E S T H E T I C

The ghosts!! The giant Beached Things!!! Chiral crystals look! like! creepy hands reaching for the SKY!!

THE RAIN DESTROYS THINGS AND KILLS PEOPLE BY ACCELERATING TIME THIS IS SO COOL SHUT UP

Everytime the game got surreal it was electrifying

THE SURREAL WAR SCENES ON CLIFF’S BEACH

Everyone is using emojis

There’s guys addicted to delivering packages in that game and they’re trying to steal our stuff and we’re like “haha they’re dumb” but we’re basically addicted to delivering packages as the player. So yeah that was pretty fun

Terrorists thinking humanity isn’t going extinct fast enough and wanting to just rip the bandaid and speed things up. Simple but effective concept

People ask for SUPER VITAL ITEMS right next to completely trivial stuff and I’m LIVING for it. “Please fetch my toy dinosaur”. I feel you dude

The most isolated characters are like "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS THING I LIKE" in your emails because they haven't had contact with other humans in years, it's super relatable

There’s a farm where people use the fact that Timefall rain accelerates time to grow food super quickly in one (1) Timefall and harvest everything just before it starts to die and I LOVE that detail of worldbuilding so much

YOU’RE FIGHTING BEACHED THINGS WITH YOUR OWN BODILY FLUIDS IT’S SO STUPID BUT ALSO SO COOL?? I love yeet-ing my own blood at eldritch entities

THE T W I S T S

All the fanservice (bar one detail that I’m gonna complain about later) is on dudes. This game reeeeeeally likes to show dudes naked or somewhat naked. Mostly the main character but this mocap also L O V E S Mads Mikkelsen and there’s a shit ton of homoerotic shots in there

I love Sam the antisocial papa wolf delivery man and if someone touches him or his baby again, I will cry

LOU. LOU LOU LOU PRECIOUS BABY I’D DIE FOR YOU. Wait I did

I love Fragile and how brave she is and how she keeps helping people even if most of them wrongly think she’s a terrorist and yes I will eat this cryptobiote thank you

I love soft science boi Heartman who keeps dying again and again and is a bit too much interested in bodily fluids

I love garbage man Higgs and how complex, funny and still somewhat tragic this memelord actually turned out to be in the end

Seriously I want to stop fixating on this character but you can’t give me YET ANOTHER character who wants to die but at the hands of someone else, that is unfair to do that right after my fixation on the new Doctor Who Master

So yeah Higgs is yet another character who makes me want to grab him by the lapels and shake him and yell WHY! ARE! YOU! LIKE! THIS! STOP! BEING! LIKE! THIS!!

Cliff broke all three of my feelings beautifully and in excruciatingly well-acted scenes that transcended the sometimes lackluster dialogue

John made me cry during That Scene

Mama your background was tragic and terrifying and you didn’t deserve any of this shit and I love you

Deadman was more funny than anything, really, but I still liked him even if he had no sense of personal space whatsoever and it clashed horribly with Sam’s phobias

The ending had some sad parts but was mostly positive, thank goodness

Now I’m gonna explain things I dislike and this looks long but it’s actually only 5 main things so I bolded them to avoid confusion

Things I really disliked (and could have been handled wayyyy better)

We all know it but Kojima isn’t a master of subtlety and some parts of the dialogue kept repeating the same informations again and again AND AGAIN and I was like “ok ok I get it”

The dialogue can be so bad at times seriously

Kojima is a bad writer there I said it

It was particularly annoying with Amelie/Bridget and the fact she’s a horrible person trying (and failing) to justify her actions wasn’t helping

Bridges protocols are incredibly intrusive. All of them. I know it’s framed as bad and Sam hates being spied on all the time and in the end he destroys the device that does that, but I wish someone else would openly criticise it in-game

I guess Deadman sort of did but still

Also I know the whole BB technology was Bridget’s idea, and since she’s the actual villain it’s framed as a twisted, evil thing during the ending, but I wish that had been framed like that much earlier ; a lot of Bridges employees just... seem to accept the idea that their employer is using premature babies and their dead mothers as useful, if disturbing, devices. They seem to justify it by “uh we stole that technology from terrorists” to try to cope with the idea but... yeah.

I mean, one of the points being made very early on is that Sam sees his BB as his child who must be protected at all costs instead of a detection device, but I really wish he wasn’t the only one to object to that thing

Again, the game DOES frame "using babies and their dead mothers as tools” as evil and twisted, I just wish it was given a lot more weight and way sooner

Now let’s talk about the Token Straight(tm) in this game

In any other kind of context it would be a joke! But Death Stranding literally has a Token Straight Guy!

I mean, there IS a few hetero couples among the Preppers. Not a lot, mind you. Like, there’s the Montaineer and his wife for instance. But they’re just there and it’s not what their side plot is about

No I’m talking about this piece of shit right there

This f█cking Junk Dealer guy complains the girl he loves is dead because of Bridges and emotionally blackmails us by sending us old holograms of her before her supposed death (somewhat disturbing holograms too because she looks... pretty young in them), then he sends us on what’s essentially a suicide mission in a BT infested zone, THEN when we give him proof she’s still alive and living in another bunker nearby, he won’t go there himself to check??

But SHE’s like “ok, bring me to him, then!”

He doesn’t deserve you, girl

I’ve already seen several people pointing out that carrying a woman as cargo on your back is... debatable at best and sexist at worst, but that part didn’t really bother me to be honest? She asked to be carried to him and it’s her choice. She was talking to us the entire way too, so that made things a lot less awkward. Also Sam has this phobia of being touched by other people so I bet carrying another human being on his back isn’t fun for him. It was also super stressful to do, to be honest.

And then there’s this EXTREMELY AWKWARD scene when they’re reunited and decide to get married, and thankfully Sam finds it just as awkward as we do because he’s standing super far away from the bunker in a “can’t they talk about this later - I’m right there” way. And I’m under the impression it was intended as cringy, in a “yeppp young people in love are Like That” sort of way, so I can accept that, to be honest. If you don’t take that scene seriously, it’s pretty fun in, again, a cringy sort of way

BUT

Then you receive more emails later and this piece of shit guy complains about her and he’s like “ugh WOMEN” or “marriage is the worst” and they end up divorced in record time and she goes back to her bunker

Which isn’t my problem with this subplot either, I promise I’m gonna explain myself eventually but this context is important. It’s okay to have characters who are pieces of shit like this guy who reeks of incel cologne. It’s alright. Not every character has to be a role-model. It’s good to have characters you can hate.

BUT THEN they get back together later to try to patch things up and you learn he was part of a gang who murdered her parents even though he protected her against the rest of the gang and that’s what I hated about that storyline. I guess if you squint it can be read as “this woman is making REALLY BAD life choices” but I read it as “he saved her so she owes him something, he can’t be entirely bad” and y i k e s this left such a bad taste in my mouth, good lord.

But yeah miss Chiral Artist you’re making really bad life choices please get away from this dude as soon as you can, thank you

Also don’t do this ‘sending Likes’ pose ever again, it was hilarious but also you made me use the word “cringy” several times in this paragraph even though I absolutely hate cringe culture, look what you made me do

Now I have to talk about a scene that was intentionally disturbing as hell but ONE (1) detail in it was disturbing for the wrong reasons

To be honest, I really don’t like the Metal Gear Solid games and one of the reasons is the rampant sexism in them so I... was kind of bracing myself for Death Stranding and expecting it to have at least SOME really bad fanservice with a woman at one point or another but to my surprise?? There was none? All the fanservice is on dudes??? Hello? I really liked that (well at some point Fragile takes a shower in our room but we see literally nothing except her shoulder and then Sam looks away)?? What a refreshing change

THAT BEING SAID

And if you played the game you know exactly what I’m about to talk about

Yep this is the part where Johannes complains about how the bomb flashback was shot

Ok so I guess I should also give some context in case someone is reading this but hasn’t played the game, but the deal with this scene is that our friend Fragile was betrayed by her colleague Higgs who used to be a porter but became a terrorist after meeting the “main“ villain of the game. First he secretly put a thermonuclear bomb in one of her deliveries so she’d nuke an entire city without even knowing it, and everyone after that thought she was a terrorist. And then he tried to do that shit A SECOND TIME, but she noticed and decided to toss the second nuke into a bottomless lake of tar. But he caught her just before she reached the lake and he decided to give her a sadistic choice, which was “teleport away and the bomb stays there and nukes the city, or carry it to the lake but only in your underwear under this rain that speeds up time and it will do enormous damage to your health and your body”

And of course being the hero she is, she decides to take the second option

And it’s an incredibly disturbing scene and it’s genuinely hard to watch

But it’s also the ONLY time a woman is in her underwear in this entire game and there’s A COUPLE of shots that were male-gaze-y at the beginning before she started to run and the really horrific part started.

So in a way I guess it could have been worse? way worse, even

But it still tarnishes an otherwise disturbing (and harrowing at times ; seriously I know I’m oversensitive but it was physically painful to watch) scene with unnecessary shots

We know Fragile had a young body before this happened, this isn’t the point of this scene, guys

Whoever decided to keep these shots (probably Kojima let’s face it), that is bad and you should feel bad

Idk how to do a visual transition for that next one because I do not want to screen that memo

So here’s a screenshot with a nice landscape instead

tw: acephobia

Now I have to talk about something I like the GENERAL IDEA of, but not how the IN-GAME MATERIAL ABOUT IT was written

Because I have to talk about that “asexual world” memo

First I have to say that I absolutely love the fact that a mainstream game openly says in-game “this future is full of asexual people" and?? it’s just that, it’s a part of this world. That’s just how things are. It’s normalised. I love it. For crying out loud this memo has the word demisexual in it. I can’t think of any other mainstream game that had this word in it so far.

It should have stopped there and let me enjoy that in peace but it didn’t

THE MEMO ITSELF WAS CLEARLY WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THESE CONCEPTS and there’s some really bad stuff there. I’d say it’s accidental acephobia but it’s still there. I’m not the best person to talk about this because I’m bi, but it still rubbed me the wrong way

The words this memo uses near the beginning are “"sexless lifestyle” among young people” and yikes, my dude. “Lifestyle”, uh? Really?

And then it goes on about how these new labels were already more and more common “among young people before the Death Stranding” and it also rubs me the wrong way, in a “wow young people and their weird labels lol” sort of queerphobic way?

However I’ve seen a post pointing out that the line “One theory posits that the Stranding accelerated the proliferation of these sexualities” was maybe a way of saying ‘yo asexuals are causing the end of the world’ but... I don’t see it, tbh? In the context of the game, society is extremely divided and a lot of people live in complete isolation and social norms have heavily shifted and it’s kind of normal that there’s queer people visible everywhere now, aces included obviously, because nobody’s bothering to hide it anymore. It’s a post-apocalyptic world! People are just being themselves! A lot of characters also seem to be bi/pan! They’re just vibing ok

At least that’s how I read that part, I can understand if someone had a problem with that bit but I didn’t

BUT! THAT’S NOT ALL because the memo concludes (I’m paraphrasing) “the birth rate has dropped, which might be a problem, but harassment and assault have also dropped, which is good, so idk it’s 50/50″ and. like. I get the intention. But it’s clumsy as hell and very bad. Please don’t confuse abuse of power and attraction. They don’t go hand in hand. Don’t do that. Please. And you know that aces can have kids if they want to, right. Come on. It’s 2020 my dude. This shit is harmful

Also. Like. It’s the end of the world in this game. People don’t want kids. It... has nothing to do with aces. Reality itself is crashing down. People are reluctant to have kids because reality.exe might f█cking crash down at any given moment!

Or a Beached Thing could VoidOut their city!

Or someone might send them a nuke, not naming names!!

Anyway!!!

It’s really badly written and whoever wrote it should educate themselves and maybe get an ace to re-read their stuff next time??

Again I’m not the right person to talk about acephobia and I bet an actual ace would have plenty more to say about this

Thankfully it’s a memo written in-game by a random Bridges councellor and NOT by any important character that we actually know

"I must preempt myself by admitting that I do not have any empirical data" yeah so, f█ck off maybe

So I’m just gonna call that guy “another piece of shit character” but it still doesn’t excuse the fact that the memo was written by someone who thought it was a good idea to put it in the game

Just let me enjoy my super queer post-apo world in peace and don’t write shit like that in your game thank you and goodbye

Minor stuff I also disliked but it wasn’t as awful

I get that Sam is upset at the end because Lou is dying but the way he said goodbye to Fragile broke my heart. It was abrupt and you KNOW he’s upset and wants to have nothing to do with Bridges anymore and that’s very understandable but it isn’t her fault

Seriously I want them to be friends again

I’m gonna pretend they’re friends again after Lou is saved and that Sam is a freelance porter again and sometimes their paths cross and they just talk together in the middle of nowhere and share cryptobiotes

The pacing is weird, there’s this deluge of plot in the beginning and the end but not much in the middle?

The BT boss fights could have been these epic Shadow of the Colossus showdowns but no, they were relatively standard boss fights. Wasted opportunity

The running on the Beach scene sdfghjhgfdsdfghjhgf that was... dumb

A lot of preppers are interesting in one way or another but some are just boring. Also I wish the design of their bunkers was more varied

Amelie/Bridget’s motivations are all over the place, both creating Bridges AND the Demens is... a lot? I know she both WANTS and DOESN’T want the actual, final end of the world to happen but that is a lot to take in and it’s all very confusing

Who the hell cares about ‘rebuilding America’ I just want to build a network where people can help each other

The ‘likes’ are fun but don’t make much sense

In conclusion

Death Stranding Good

Some stuff Bad

Some stuff Very Bad (but it’s just one memo out of 100+ memos, thank god)

I’m still hyperfixating

Send help

[dokkaebiking]

Pass the happy! When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the most recent people in your notifications!

Considering how 2020 has gone, this shouldn’t be a hard list to make as there’s not a lot that’s made me happy this year. I mean, this has been sitting in my inbox for far too long, simply because The Depresso™ has robbed me of the energy to do much of anything these days. However, Biden won the election, and although that cursed cheese ball shit bag currently in the White House is trying to undermine democracy, at the same time I know he ain’t gonna get away with it, so I feel lighter than I have in months, and I’m finally getting to things I’ve held off for too long. Not gonna tag anyone, but if you want to be tagged then I’m attacking you with psychic powers right now and tagging you spiritually >:D

1. Trash of the Count’s Family! I cannot overstate how much joy this Korean webnovel has brought me this year. I read the manhwa first, by chance, when I was cruising the “Isekai” tag, and after reading so many where a woman got sent into another world/was reborn in another world/took over the body of a side character in their favorite game or book or whatever/or otherwise transmigrated into a place that’s Not Here (and lucky them, amirite)...I was happy to see it happen to a guy. Not only that, but like the first chapter, aside from the prologue, was filled with so much fanservice of just this one guy that I was pleasantly surprised at the tables being turned. Especially since Isekai is very well known for it’s trashy female fanservice and gross harems that make no sense. CUE CALE HENITUSE COMING TO SAVE THE ISEKAI GENRE! 

He not only has no romantic interest whatsoever in the story, which is fantastic (doesn’t stop us fans from shipping left and right, but I love it when this type of protag just does not do romance at all), but he builds a harem that’s purely platonic and god damn it I’ve never seen Found Family done so well I wanna cry just thinking about it. Plus, Cale’s whole philosophy of “gotta create world peace so I can live as a slacker” is hilarious, considering how he just keeps being a Hero™ and hating it, but his dumb ass can’t stop. Also, there’s a baby dragon that he saves, sets free from a terrible torture chamber it began its life in, and rather than running off it decides to follow Cale around and basically Cale becomes a father of three kids, one being the dragon, and the other two being two precious (and very dangerous) cat kids. This story refuses to let the good guys die, which after GoT is refreshing as hell, but isn’t afraid to take bloody revenge on the bad guys, which is also hella refreshing. I’ll go on forever if I don’t stop here, but just look it up if you get the chance and any of this appeals to you—you won’t regret it.

2. KakaIru, easily, has been the stable foundation for me this year. The friends I met through the fandom before this year have only become closer, and more dear to me, and the new friends are just as lovely; these people are the only things keeping me sane, let me tell you. The @kakairuzine “Intertwined” was a big project that I was delighted to help mod for, and participate in as a merch artist, and I’m so thrilled that we reached all of our stretch goals, and then some! The @the-umino-hours server has brought me much joy during the year, as well as the forum @kakairu-rocks, participating in the @kakairu-mini-bang was a blast (and I’m working on the second part to that fic right now tbh), now I’m a mod (and participant) for the @kakairu-big-bang and am so excited for it. KakaIru has been with me since I was a kid, and it’s just so lovely that it’s still a fairly active part of the fandom, and still makes me as happy as it did when I was 14  (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

3. Spooky boys, like cryptids and folklore and eldritch horrors, are always a delight, but in a year that’s more horrifying than any of them could ever dream to be, it’s oddly cathartic to indulge in the monsters we imagine while surrounded by real monsters of our own making. Also, ever since I wrote my KakaIru fic Want Me Down to the Marrow I’ve had such a soft spot for the Gashadokuro, and still laugh at “Bone Daddy”. You’ll have to pry that title from my cold, dead hands.

4. “My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!” It was honestly this otome anime that led me down the path that eventually brought me to “Trash of the Count’s Family”. So I owe a lot to this series, and really the series in and of itself is such a delight. I bought the light novels on Bookwalker because I loved it so much~♥ Katarina (aka Bakarina), thank you for your service. Because of you I looked up other series of a similar strain as your story, and found the manhwa “Beware the Villainess!”, which is a fucking delight, and thus kept looking into that genre and eventually found my way to Cale Henituse’s whacky adventures.

5. “The Rising of the Shield Hero” has made me happy from the first time I watched it, but I rewatched it this year, and the announcement for the second season’s release came just like...last month I believe, so that spike of serotonin was highly appreciated. I have the light novels for this series up to volume 17, and let me tell you, the story just gets better and better and I cannot wait for it to be animated. Naofumi, I love you you cinical little shit~♥

[ironwoman359]

Fuck your sexist garbage. Women did goat busters better than the original.

Lol, ok. 

First of all, I’m a woman. Don’t know if you knew that, so just throwing that out there. I also consider myself to be a feminist, so do with that info what you will. 

Second of all, the post you are doubtlessly referring to where I called the 2016 Ghostbusters remake “mediocre” was actually intended to be a light roast towards people who threw a massive hissy fit that their precious Ghostbusters were being remade with women (horrified gasp) and called it an assault on their childhoods. I was saying that that eldritch horror of a beanie babie creation was much more of an “assault on childhood” than a movie that replaced oh-so-beloved male characters with *gasp* female ones. I was actually calling out the sexist responses to that movie. 

Third of all, no. No it didn’t. Having an all woman cast doesn’t excuse the fact that that movie was mediocre at best. Now I’m not saying that no one is allowed to like this movie. I’m not saying that no one is allowed to like it more than the original. But it is not better, objectively speaking. Is the original perfect? Hell no. But I think it still holds up remarkably well today for what it is, and I think that it is still better than the 2016 remake. Having an all female cast for that type of movie is awesome. It’s a great step forward. It just is a much more meaningful and impressive step when you can make a good movie with an all female cast. 

So don’t come in here with shouts of “SEXISM” when I have a different opinion of a film than you do that just so happens to feature a cast predominantly made up of women. That is not a free pass in my book, and to give it a free pass for that reason I think is actually detrimental to the goal of getting more movies like Oceans 8 and Wonder Woman made. 

TL;DR: You’re allowed to dislike something with a predominantly female cast and not be sexist. The movie isn’t bad (not great, whatever adjective you want, again, if you like it, that’s your business not mine) because it’s main characters are women, it’s bad because the comedy is hit and miss and the script isn’t that much to sneeze at, and other filmy things like that. 

**P.S. please do not bust goats, they just want to eat the shrubs in the woods and be happy.