#my b day is in july but i have to think about these things early ok!!!!!! its like Halloween! i have to start on mu costume soon 😭

[robotpussy]

over the past 3 years my birthday present to myself has always been. photoshoot in my bedroom/living room

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Is there any chance we could have a round up of the Circus? I am so lost on how the dominoes fell over the last 40 days

Okay this is not comprehensive, because (a) my husband the politics nerd is currently on his way to a gig in west Wales somewhere and so cannot chime in and also (b) all our political journalist friends are understandably quite busy right now doing political journaling, but I seem to have an influx of new followers who are also very confused and don't understand what's going on, so I shall try.

Alright so what we're seeing here is the Second Clownfall of 2022, the hotly anticipated sequel to the Adventures of Big Dog the Clown. However it revolves around the character of Liz Truss, and will use some terminology, so

Previous Reading

Important Terminology - Required Reading

What is a Whip?

How do Whips work?

Shadow Cabinet

Front Benchers, Back Benchers and the Cabinet

What do we need to call an early General Election?

The Adventures of Big Dog the Clown - Suggested Reading

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Elanor's Guide to Liz Truss - Suggested Reading

Character-based prequel

...okay I think that's everything. On with the show!

The Premiership of Liz Truss (2022-2022)

Week One

We begin our tale on September 5th, 2022. Coincidentally, that was also the date that I personally started my new job. Let's see which of us does better!

The Daily Mail is delighted, and runs a headline proclaiming "Cometh the hour, cometh the woman". Tory rag in a frock coat the Financial Times runs an op-ed:

So the results ARE IN! She will definitely fuck us up! But that's a good thing for vague reasons! Blitz spirit everyone. Tally ho, pip pip, shoot a servant and have sex with a wall, hey what. Good old Blighty.

(That's my best impression of Tories I'm good at their accents I hope you like it)

Truss does an interview with Laura Kuenssberg, and fellow guest and comedian Joe Lycett wildly and effusively applauds her every word. Even Liz realises no one would sincerely applaud her. Bafflingly, the entire right wing press and every member of the Tory party freak out about this, because they don't understand the function of a satirist and don't know how to defend against it. It is extremely funny. Joe Lycett announces he's a right-wing comedian now, and begins a new extended career bit effusively and sarcastically praising right wing politicians. They all cry extensively and call him mean.

SO, it's been a long hard leadership campaign! But she made it. For years, Tories have been blighted by the curse of the PM/Chancellor relationship, backstabbing and cheating and lying about each other to try and get power. But not our Liz, oh no; her Chancellor is Maths Mate and BFF Kwasi Kwarteng, an insipid and poisonous gnome known for three (3) things:

He once wrote a stupid book with Liz Truss about his stupid opinions on how he thinks economics work and everyone laughed at him and stuffed him in a locker

On the night of the Brexit vote he was overheard by a journalist gleefully saying “Who cares if sterling crashes? It will come back up again“ which are of course the words of a man who knows all about economics and how they work

This fucking bullshit back in July:

But hey IT'S OKAY! Everything is fine! Because Liz and Kwasi are BFFs who certainly never had an affair and are marching in lockstep and have each other's backs and both love maths more than their own children if they had any! Maths Friends!

Multiple resignations immediately follow.

Among them is Ben Elliot, the Tory Party chair, which is a pretty big deal from a man who just lived through the Johnson years; also, shockingly, Priti Patel, the deportation-happy Home Secretary, decides that even as an animatronic goblin she cannot support this nonsense.

It's not a resignation per se, but at ten to seven in the evening it's announced that Andrew Bridgen, the Troy MP for Leicestershire North West, has been evicted from his home and ordered to pay £800,000 in legal costs, and a possible £244,000 in rent arrears. Also described as "dishonest" by a judge.

This is not directly relevant to Liz Truss but look, it was a staggeringly weird day and this was basically the topper.

Anyway.

Liz goes to the Palace and is duly sworn in by the Queen, who promptly keels over and dies the very next day. Parliament is instantly shut down for mandatory mourning. As omens go, this one was not subtle.

This triggers the circulation of some very awkward footage of Young Truss talking about how she thinks the Monarchy should be abolished for being a gross relic of horrifying social stratification. However you must understand that it's not awkward because anyone thinks she murdered the Queen. It's because Liz Truss's attempts at public speaking are like sitting through a children's Christmas play when you're the only person in the audience and they can all see your face so you have to look encouraging for four hours when inside you are shrivelling into something approximating an apricot pit travelling to the core of Jupiter.

Take a look at her acceptance speech and wither.

Anyway we're now several MPs and a queen down so she's got to get on replacing those so she can focus on her real love: the much-anticipated mini-budget that she is preparing with Kwasi to save the UK from the harrowing quagmire of crippling poverty that Big Dog managed to drive us into (all while pretending it wasn't Big Dog who did it.)

Fortunately, she does not need to replace the queen! Monarchies take care of themselves, which many people would argue is very much the problem, of course. They had a proper reunion with Meghan From Suits and Meghan From Suits' husband, both of whom were banned from visiting Balmoral, and also the Nonce flew in, who was allowed to visit Balmoral. Such heartwarming scenes.

But the Cabinet, that's another matter. That's something Liz DOES have to do, and it's important she gets it right, Tumblrs, because you see, every time a Cabinet minister is replaced it's expensive and a hassle and it weakens a government by making them look all crumbly, like a packet of biscuits that's been rammed against a wall and now someone is opening it and everyone is bracing for Crumbs.

So, step forward to the Cabinet soulless ghoul Suella Braverman, the new Home Secretary. She immediately distinguishes herself by trying to legalise torture.

And then, naturally,

YEAH THAT'S RIGHT IT'S TICK TOCK TERF O'CLOCK also FUCK the sovereignty of the Scottish Parliament amirite ladies lol Girl Power uwu

Not that she can actually do anything at this point, of course. As I say: Enforced Mourning is in process, which means Parliament is shut down for ten days. No work, no speeches, no appearances, no announcements, just taxpayer's money going on legal fees to see if she can interfere with another nation's elected government in order to strip away the human rights of queer people.

However, while we all weep over the corpse of Queen Lizzie Two and beat our breasts in grief, the already-beleaguered pound is slowly bleeding out through this inaction. And this, to the Maths Mates, is unacceptable.

Two things get quietly slid into the news cycle.

Thing the First:

BIG YIKES LADS

Thing the Second:

Fracking ban in England lifted in bid to boost UK gas supply - BBC News

For those who don't know, fracking is an energy extraction process. Water, gas and dust are pumped at high pressure into shale bedrock to crack it open, releasing pockets of natural gas that can then be harvested for fuel. It's environmentally disastrous for multiple reasons, both direct (earthquakes, groundwater pollution, social impacts) and indirect (IT'S STILL A FOSSIL FUEL YOU STUPID CUNTS ARE YOUR SKULLS FUCKING EMPTY). The Welsh and Scottish governments have both banned it outright, a straight-up "Foot down no, petal". England, though, is the Tory paradise, so the ban was less complete.

However, this is still a Huge Deal - the 2019 Tory manifesto was very clear that fracking would only be unbanned IF "the science shows categorically that it can be done safely". In fact, most Tories don't like it either. Their constituents REALLY don't. Also in March Kwasi Kwarteng literally went on record and said it wouldn't lower European gas prices anyway; but not anymore! Now he thinks it's a zippy idea. Just spiffing. Top hole, pip pip (I'm so good at their accents :))

Scientists who have been studying the environmental impacts of fracking produce their report -

And it is quietly buried, so as not to offend the corpse of Lizzie Two.

Here ends the first four days of the Reign of Liz Truss.

Second Week

Anyway, royalists have gone insane and started a REALLY BIG queue to see a box that supposedly contains the rotting cadaver of the old queen. Multiple people have to be hospitalised because they join the Queue and don't take food, water, warm clothes, or essential daily medications with them, even though the Queue is literally days long. Some die. Many take the ashes of their own loved ones so they can wave them at the box for the thirty seconds they get to be in front of it, like a sort of play date for ashes.

Prince Charles, now King Prince Charles, starts swanning about as King, demanding everyone be sad for him and clap him to cheer him up. Someone holds up a sign saying 'Not my King' and gets arrested. This triggers a whole wave of protests and arrests as free speech slides out the window, until the Met Police chief has to step in and explain to the police like they're five-year-olds that they can't do that, actually, and need to cut that shit out.

But we can't wholly blame the police, because the main pressure to clamp down on protestors actually came from...

The government.

Meanwhile the country goes bat shit fucking insane. In order not to offend the fragile sensibilities of royalists, now so brittle they need to be treated with the same delicate touch normally reserved for unstable nitroglycerin, the UK sees supermarkets lowering the volume of self-serve checkout desks, people's funerals cancelled, vital operations and other medical interventions postponed, Centre Parcs cancelling holidays, FOOD BANKS CLOSING, Nintendo Direct cancelling its live stream in Britain (but not cancelling the release of the recording onto You Tube an hour later because as we all know Queen Elizabeth II was a MASSIVE livestream fan and would have been DEVASTATED to miss it but she was very 'meh' about YouTube), cycle racks being closed, and this unhinged shrieking harridan:

Very normal, lads. Very normal.

Oh and also they cancelled Owain Glyndwr Day so as a Welsh person I am now legally allowed to forcibly ram a daffodil into the urethras of the landed English gentry.

However, the protests grow as the suppression wanes. By the time King Prince Charles comes to Wales, he is met with silent protests, this guy who learned a sentence in Welsh specially for the occasion, and a petition to abolish the Prince of Wales title.

Except government is still shut down, so the petitions are all suspended.

But not to worry! That gives the Maths Mates more time to work on their special mini-budget.

Week Three

More of the same at first, really, but she finally addresses the nation to announce that the Queen was the "rock" on which "modern Britain was built".

Also someone finally spots that the necklace she always wears is a day collar, so that was fun.

BUT THEN

The moment we have all been waiting for, with baited breath.

On the 23rd September, 2022, the mini-budget finally arrives. The golden egg of Kwasi and Liz, their beloved, beautiful child, the crowning glory, the culmination of their economic beliefs and values. They are so proud of it, so sure of it, that they do not even submit it for the approval of the Office for Budget Responsibility. Why should they? This is the moment Kwarteng can finally show the world that he was right; that this is the way to do economics after all; that he alone in his brilliance and genius has reinvented the field and will lead the country to a new era of riches and prosperity.

And the pound does this:

Yikes.

Truss goes into hiding for a day and a half, during which time her aids claim all her relatives have died so she won't have to speak to the press, which is obviously a simply fantastic quality in a Prime Minister. Finally, she resurfaces by doing a series of radio interviews for regional stations around the UK, hoping they'll be easier on her, starting with Radio Leeds. The good journalists of Yorkshire eviscerate her and strew her corpse through Adel Woods. It's downhill from there.

Week Four

One poll puts Labour 33 points ahead of the Tories.

It can be a little difficult to translate polls, because the electoral system is complex, so I asked my journalist friends. They cheerfully informed me that, if translated into a General Election, the Tories would have just 3 seats left.

Except! Of course, naturally, that is me reporting naught but the most extreme result, Tumblrs, dancing upon the bones of my enemies as I chant the rites to make the Tory party die faster. If I were to be fair about this - and I am, of course, a journalist of Integrity and Morals - I would actually give the average poll result. And I am wise and fair to all, ancient rites aside, so I shall.

The average poll result is still 19 points ahead.

Tony Blair's landslide Labour victory in 1999 was 12 points.

Rounding off the day, Labour declare that they are backing a change to a proportional representation voting system in place of the UK’s archaic first past the post system. Funny that.

Anyway, that mini-budget is going poorly. Realising unlimited borrowing rather than tax cuts for the rich is maybe Bad Actually, the Maths Mates decide to get the money for their bail-outs some other way. Can you guess, Tumblrs? Can you guess where they decide to get the money from?

Naturally.

Week Five

In a fascinating little twist, the papers claim Liz banned King Prince Charles from going to the Climate Summit in Egypt. This is interesting for about a billion reasons, not least of which is that the papers seem very angry about this and yet also that it's an unsubstantiated rumour - the phrase "it's understood that _" gets a hell of a workout.

She then does not go herself. Makes sense. They'll probably be mean to her about the fracking.

She then loses the support of the Daily Mail, a paper that five weeks before were ecstatic about her rise to power :( so sad. But why? What made them change their minds?

Well. What else from Truss, but a massive and catastrophic u-turn on the economy?

And she does! The absolute nutter!

Plans to cut the 45p tax rate for those earning upwards of £150,000 were abandoned, as were:

abolishing the planned rise in corporation tax

cutting the basic rate of income tax

the two-year energy bill support plan

scrapping the planned dividend tax hike

VAT-free shopping for international tourists

freezing alcohol duty

easing of IR25 rules for the self-employed

ALL GONE! All gone. The mini-budget is not working so lol jk we'll think of something else, that's how government works, right? The pound promptly implodes further. Of all people, Nadine Dorries is the one to criticise

WE ARE IN A TOPSY TURVEY UPSIDE DOWN WORLD

The Daily Mail still finds a way to say it's all Michael Gove's fault, though.

Anyway, the 5th October dawns bright and beautiful and YouGov polls rural voters:

THIS IS HUUUUUUUUUGE, because farmers just will not fucking stop voting Tory, AND YET. Wowsers. Not just popularity. Voting intention. She might as well have personally infected every farm in the South Downs with foot and mouth disease.

Truss realises her popularity is plummeting and she needs a new audience. She tries to appear down with the kids and declares that she's the only PM to have gone to a comprehensive school.

This is not true. Gordon Brown and Theresa May both did. However, it's certainly true that all three of them became PM by ousting a sitting PM, so there's that I guess.

Week Six

At this point I can start putting in PRECISE DATEs just call ME Robert Peston.

13th October

News reporters start speculating that she'll be done by the end of the month as the first rumoured letter of no confidence reaches us. People realise that her competition for shortest serving PM was a guy who died in office of TB at about the four month mark RIP king sorry about your lungs.

(A reminder - normally, if MPs want to oust a party leader, they must send in 54 letters of no confidence. This makes the 1922 Committee - a bunch of back benchers who preside over this shit - hold a vote of no confidence. A leader who loses gives way - this is very rare. A leader who wins is then immune to another such vote for 12 months, but they almost always crumble within a month or two anyway - this is much more common.)

This is extremely funny, because a newly-elected leader of the party has a 12 month immunity to votes of no confidence, same as people who've won such a vote. Likes charge reblogs cast apparently. MPs are getting desperate.

Pressure mounts. Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng announces that he is "Not going anywhere."

14th October

Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng is sacked and blamed for the entire economic mess.

Incredibly, Liz does this without first planning a replacement, so it's several hours before Jeremy Cunt suddenly reappears like the spectre at the fucking feast.

Meanwhile here's Ed Milliband on Twitter

Seven and a half years he waited to retweet that. Seven and a half long years, look, to have the last laugh.

In the end, he still went too soon.

15th October

Deputy PM and also Health Minister Therese Coffey (side note - have they always doubled up in roles like that? Or are there just not enough of them anymore?) announces that she loves antibiotic resistance and dead kids and also breaking laws:

16th October

The Sunday Times calls for Extremely Corrupt Former Grand Vizier Rishi Sunak to take over, and then a General Election so that Labour can take the reins.

The SUNDAY TIMES

Calling for LABOUR

The Sunday Mail tries to stir up support for Ben Wallace taking over, because no one has heard of Ben Wallace so he needs the boost, but then accidentally publish their front page with a different man

In another YouGov poll for the Times, not a single political group, age group, area of the country, gender, or other demographic said that Liz Truss was the right choice for PM

This is the new predicted election graph:

Yikes

17th October

The projected election results are a Labour victory so complete the opposition would be the SNP. Legend suggests Nicola Sturgeon's cackle on finding out was so powerful she accidentally resurrected a witchfinder.

18th October

Meanwhile in the Senedd, Welsh Tory leader Andrew RT Davies, a sort of humanoid boil dressed in ham, tries to accuse placid and gentle First Minister for Wales Mark Drakeford's Labour of being responsible for long ambulance waiting times.

T'was a mistake.

19th October

Oh boy.

Well, first of all, Suella Braverman sends an official email from her private email address, and then promptly leaves the Cabinet at cannonball speeds as though she's seen a brown child about to be given citizenship. Was she quietly fired by Jeremy Cunt? Did she do it deliberately to resign? On her way out, she blames the true source of our problems - the Guardian-reading, tofu-eating Wokerati.

Nigella Lawson spends the day tweeting tofu recipes.

Meanwhile, Graham Brady, the Chair of the 1922 Committee, comes to Liz Truss to inform her that he has in fact now received 54 letters of no confidence. Normally, of course, that would be considered enough to trigger a vote in her leadership; but not now.

However, these are unprecedented times. So he changes the threshold - if half of the Tories send him letters, her immunity will be revoked.

But the thing is, Tumblrs, the thing is...

It is all about to kick off in the most spectacular and catastrophic fireworks since Guy Fawkes had a dream.

Because Ed Milliband, once accused of leading the country to chaos and now riding high on the joy of his well-timed Twitter jab of Some Days Ago, wakes this morning and chooses violence.

He has spotted, of course, that no one likes fracking; even the Tories are against it.

He has also spotted that Liz Truss is very stupid.

So he goes into the House of Commons, and he digs a big pit and covers it over with twigs and leaves so it can't be seen, and he bakes a big cake and he places it in the middle of the twigs, and he sets up a net to fall as well and a big stick of ACME dynamite, and he hammers in little signs everywhere saying CAUTION - TRAP, by which I am of course being metaphorical because what he actually does is table a motion to extend the moratorium on fracking. The signs aren't necessary, really. This trap is easy to avoid.

All Liz Truss has to do, you see, is not use a three-line whip on this vote.

The three-line whip, as you'll all recall, is the highest level of coercion. MPs cannot defy a three-line whip. MPs cannot even abstain on a three-line whip. MPs have two choices on a three-line whip: to vote as they're told, or to be removed from the party. You obey or resign. That's all.

For this reason, it's sometimes called a 'confidence vote', as it is effectively a stand-in for one. The vote is not about the issue at hand - this is now a vote of confidence in your leader.

(He's also laid lesser traps. Years back when fracking was first being heavily discussed, Ed was Labour leader and one of the main figures in those discussions. During today, before it all Kicks The Fuck Off, a Tory stands and challenges him on previous statements about fracking, trying to accuse him of hypocrisy.

He was fucking ready for it.)

Graham Brady pops his head back around the door. He's changed his mind - a third of the party is all that's needed now to trigger a vote of no confidence in Liz Truss. And legend says he's only 17 off.

This is presumably the reason for what comes next.

Liz panics. Liz sees she's desperately unpopular. Liz sees that she has to do something to shore up support; and she sees that her important fracking rule, which her party hates her for, is now being challenged by a former Labour leader, and if he wins (which he will) she'll lose all credibility and maybe they'll take her nice office away and tell her she was a Bad Girl.

And so, with the inevitability of gravity on the now-leaden pound sterling, she makes it a three-line whip, and a confidence vote in her government.

INSTANT CHAOS.

There is uproar! There is rage! There is blinding fury! Tory MPs are standing up in the Commons and snarling and pissing and moaning! No one likes fracking except Jacob Rees Mogg! For TWO HOURS they shriek and scream and gnash their teeth, yelling at Liz Truss, demanding to know why this is happening.

(Legend has it chaos-deity Ed Milliband simply leaned back, put his feet up on the chair in front, and made Christian Wakeford hand-feed him grapes and fan him with a palm leaf, but this is unsubstantiated.)

And then, at 6.55, FIVE MINUTES before voting is ready to begin, the Tory Minister for Climate Graham Stewart stands up and declares that everyone should vote how they want because it's not a confidence vote.

Did I say there was chaos before?

Lol. Lmao, even. Rofl, in fact.

Now Tories leap to their feet and basically all scream one long, unending breath of WHAT-DO-YOU-MEAN-IT'S-NOT-A-CONFIDENCE-VOTE-WHAT-THE-FUCK-IS-HAPPENING-IS-IT-OR-IS-IT-NOT-A-CONFIDENCE-VOTE and so Stewart gets up again and says, right to everyone's faces, "It's not for me to say whether it's a confidence vote or not," which is an even faster and more spectacular u-turn than Truss herself could pull off given that he literally just said it wasn't and did so while being a minister.

And then the voting starts. MPs are now milling about like chickens who've sighted the hawk, clamouring to know if they're going to lose their jobs unless they vote for Satan. The Whips - specifically Chief Whip Wendy Morton and Deputy Chief Whip Craig Whittaker - descend upon them like fucking wargs on the hunt. They don't just spit vitriol and blackmail into MPs ears. They fucking bodily drag people into the right voting lobby. MPs are legitimately screaming. Grown men are crying literal tears. Labour's Chris Bryant reports holding multiple Tory MPs as they sob into his shoulder. Multiple MPs report similar scenes.

And Tories still don't know if this is even a damn confidence vote, or if they should just knock the Chief Whip's teeth out.

And then the Whips, filled with bloodlust and frenzy, suddenly realise that NO ONE IS LISTENING TO US, YOU'RE ALL SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO US SO WE FEEL POWERFUL -

Cue sudden meeting in a locked room with Liz Truss. For over HALF AN HOUR.

So is it a confidence vote? No one is sure. Deputy PM Therese Coffey thinks so, so in the absence of the Whips she decides physical assault is her job now and is seen by David Linden MP (SNP) physically carrying someone into the voting lobby. Jacob Rees Mogg thinks not and starts yelling "It's not a confidence vote!", to which his colleagues reply, "Fuck off." Meanwhile the Whips have possibly resigned, no one is sure. It is still uncertain if this was a confidence vote.

And Ed Milliband basks in the chaos, playing the fiddle while it all burns around him.

Finally, voting concludes. The Whips reappear to lurk.

The votes are in - the government wins, and fracking will go ahead. But.

32 MPs abstained.

And one of those is Liz Truss.

Which is WILD??!? What possible benefit could she get from that??? No one knows. Everything is uproar again. Guess who else abstained? Well, riveted reader, here's a list with important names highlighted:

Nigel Adams, Gareth Bacon, Siobhan Baillie, Greg Clark, Sir Geoffrey Cox, Tracey Crouch, David Davis, Dame Caroline Dinenage, Nadine Dorries, Philip Dunne, Mark Fletcher, Vicky Ford, Paul Holmes, Alister Jack, Boris Johnson, Gillian Keegan, Kwasi Kwarteng, Robert Largan, Pauline Latham, Mark Logan, Theresa May, Priti Patel, Mark Pawsey, Angela Richardson, Andrew Rosindell, Bob Seely, Alok Sharma, Chris Skidmore, Henry Smith, Ben Wallace, Sir John Whittingdale, and William Wragg.

Kwasi still smarting about that p45, I see.

In any case it then turns out that Liz DID vote, but incompetently, because her voting card didn't read properly, which is actually fair given that she was being screamed at by angry Whips waving Graham Stewart's severed dick and balls around while they demanded power and authority. While she's clearing that up, the press are understandably waiting open-mouthed for comment, but don't worry Liz! Your old pal Jacob Rees Mogg is here to fill in for you!

And thus it is that JRM willingly chooses to go on the live news and calmly confirm to the nation that no one knows if it was a confidence vote or not.

Chaos. Chaos again. Unbridled chaos. The Whips are furious. Everyone is furious. The rebels are now in limbo, unsure if they're now out of a job. Tories are weeping, trying to work out if Rees Mogg WANTS to sink the party. Back bencher Charles Walker MP delivers a frank interview to the press absolutely SHIVERING with rage, like the drummer in a Fleetwood Mac concert. Ex-Lib Dem leader Tim Farron, a bland man known only for the time he himself willingly chose to go on the news and calmly explain that he's a homophobe without provocation, tweets that Liz Truss is a Lib Dem sleeper agent they sent in to destroy the Tories, sparking what is likely to be a whole slew of conspiracy theories by next week. No one knows what is going on. They all decide to sleep on it.

The good folks at Wikipedia ultimately decide to make three separate pages for the UK 2022 government crisis, and to label them with the month "to leave room for another by the end of the year."

Ed Milliband skips all the way home, and treats himself to a bacon sandwich.

20th October

Okay, Liz thinks, the morning after. Okay. Last night was bad. But today will be better.

So first... the vote.

Because there's bad news for Tories who like money and good news for people who like liveable planets - there are problems with the vote. For one, the vote counts are being called into question. Are the results reliable?

For another, the Speaker of the House of Commons calls for an investigation into the reports of, um, assault. So will the result stand?

It's so unclear! And so is that ongoing issue of whether or not the damn thing was a confidence vote. Angry whips say YES, JRM says NO, Downing Street refuses to pick up the phone to the BBC, but does send ITV's Robert Peston a text at 1am to say it was definitely a confidence vote and, unrelatedly, the Whips aren't resigning :)

I think we have found the price paid to keep the Whips.

Meanwhile. Let's see what this has done for Liz's leadership stability!

13 letters of no confidence are confirmed submitted by Sky, 5 of which came in overnight. The 1922 Committee reconvenes the coven to discuss matters. Simultaneously, the One Nation Conservatives reconvene their coven to discuss the same. Presumably there is much "Girl what are YOU doing at the Devil's Sacrament?"-ing and "Same cloak, how embarrassing"-ing. MPs are CLAMOURING for her head. It is VICIOUS. It's like cartoon piranhas in a supervillain's lair; which is highly appropriate, because that's exactly what Tory MPs are.

Graham Brady, head jester of the 1922 Committee, demands to see Liz Truss.

He walks into a room with her, and the doors are closed. Half an hour later, he walks back out of the room.

Ten minutes later, she calls a press conference.

45 days after being appointed, Liz Truss breaks the record, and becomes the shortest-serving British Prime Minister.

[shannendoherty-fans]

Charmed Cast Honors Shannen Doherty at 90s Con: 'She Had the Heart of a Lion'

On July 13, Doherty died at age 53 after years of living with cancer

By Esther Kang and Kate Hogan Published on September 14, 2024 07:48PM EDT

The cast of Charmed is paying a special tribute to Shannen Doherty.

On Saturday, Sept. 14, Holly Marie Combs, Brian Krause, Rose McGowan, Dorian Gregory and Drew Fuller honored their late costar with a special live episode of their podcast, House of Halliwell, with guest Brian Austin Green.

"This sucks," Green, 51, said. "Shannen was f---ing tough. She was tough. I think of all the people in my life she was the one that just unapologetically was Shannen. I can see how it would be perceived by some people as brash, 'She's a b----' they used to say early on which drove me nuts. I knew that she had the biggest heart of everyone I knew, and she never intentionally set out to hurt anyone ... she just truly believed in what it is she believed."

Doherty herself had set up the podcast recording at 90s Con, which she was initially slated to attend. Speaking to PEOPLE on the red carpet on Friday afternoon, Fuller, 44, said the cast had instead flipped the moment into a celebration of life.

Sharing his memories, costar Gregory, 53, spoke to the ways Doherty was often "sharing joy."

"The beauty and vibrancy of this woman, that's something I have no words for," he said. "She leaves us with this: cherish every second of everyone you're surrounded by and you love. That's such a gift."

McGowan spoke to Doherty's fierce love for her fans, noting she had the "heart of a g------ lion."

"What a powerhouse," McGowan, 51, said, remembering their first meeting. "Seeing how she navigated — and how I've had to navigate — when people smear your reputation and create this box you can't f---ing get out of and it's not at all who you are. I can't prove it to people. What Shannen did for me, which was so incredible to watch, she kept engaging with people, she kept going forward."

Combs, 50, added a particularly personal anecdote.

"Someone close to me was just diagnosed … and I reach for the phone," she said.

Dozens of audience members came forward to share their memories of the star, too, speaking to her sweet disposition, how well she'd listen to the stories they shared with her and how she inspired them.

On July 13, Doherty died after years of living with cancer. She was 53.

"It is with a heavy heart that I confirm the passing of actress Shannen Doherty. On Saturday, July 13, she lost her battle with cancer after many years of fighting the disease," Doherty's longtime publicist Leslie Sloane confirmed in an exclusive statement to PEOPLE on Sunday, July 14.

"The devoted daughter, sister, aunt and friend was surrounded by her loved ones as well as her dog, Bowie. The family asks for their privacy at this time so they can grieve in peace," Sloane concluded

The Beverly Hills, 90210 star was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015 and spoke candidly to PEOPLE in November 2023 about her stage 4 breast cancer, which had by then spread to her bones, saying that she didn't "want to die."

“I’m not done with living. I’m not done with loving. I’m not done with creating. I’m not done with hopefully changing things for the better,” she told PEOPLE. "I’m just not — I’m not done.”

Following her March 2015 diagnosis, the actress revealed just over two years later in April 2017 that she had gone into remission, however, by 2019, the cancer returned. Doherty announced her diagnosis of metastatic stage 4 cancer publicly in 2020. Then, in June of 2023, the actress shared that the cancer had spread to her brain and that she had undergone surgery.

Earlier in the day at 90s Con on Sept. 14, the cast of Beverly Hills, 90210 also got together and remembered Doherty.

"I have a friend right now who is really sick with cancer, and she said that Shannen really inspired her," costar Gabrielle Carteris said. "I think that her legacy is truly making a difference for those who are struggling to know that there’s hope."

90s Con Florida is occurring through Sunday, Sept. 15, at the Ocean Center in Daytona Beach, Fla.

[billyharringson]

My 2023 in fics

Thank you @lorifragolina for tagging me. I know you tagged my main account @jad3w1ngs but as all my fics were Stranger Things this year I'm going to do it here.

I'm going to only talk about fics that I either started or finished during the month as I've written an awful lot this year and it was very hard to pick faves.

January

I'm choosing my current ongoing Byergrove fic 'Take a picture, it'll last longer' that I started on New Year's day last year. I've loved writing such an angst heavy fic and exploring the trauma that might occur from what Billy went through at the beginning of this fic. Also Jon is the best boy in this and he's so soft (which is quite a departure to how I seem to normally write him).

February

For Feb I have possibly my favourite Mungrove one-shot that I've ever written. 'It means to lie beneath' was a Billy Hargrove Bingo fill and definitely something that is on my list to expand into a full fic (just as soon as I finish some of my other series). It was really fun writing a Succubus/Incubus fic and I can't wait to further explore the world I built.

March

Considering that this is my biggest fic and also the one that really got me into this fandom I have to shout out my Harringrove fic 'To submit is such sweet pleasure'. My first foray into A/B/O and I just love these boys together in this fic.

April

This is possibly my least read fic but one that definitely holds a special place in my heart. My first submission for Mungrove week, 'Ghost' was my chance to try a good old fashioned song fic and practice some more poetic writing.

May

'Swapping more than clothes' was the Stoner Polycule fic that I finished in May and was also a Billy Hargrove Bingo fill. Really enjoyed writing each of the boys dynamics in this and of course having some straight up smut where Billy gets railed by multiple partners is always good.

June

I can't believe I only started 'Forged' in June. I love, love, love this fic and can't wait to actually get to the point where I introduce Eddie (or Edeval as he is in this) as a character. For a Mungrove fic of mine it is quite funny that we're nearly on chapter 6 and he's still not appeared.

July

Another fic I'm obsessed with writing, 'Chokehold' is my darker Stoner Polycule fic. We're still early days with this one (considering it's chapter 5 on what is at least a 19 chapter fic) but I think about this fic almost daily.

August

Wow, I finished 'The Stolen Sapphire' all the way back in August? That feels so long ago. My pirate Harringroveson fic that was such a pleasure to write and so many people seemed to love, I can't not put it here.

September

I was struggling between 2 of the Mungrove fics I wrote in September but considering the sheer number of times I've re-read 'Knock Once' that's got to be the one I go for. Pure smut with my best two boys, and also the beginning of my realisation that this might just be my ride or die ship for ST.

October

I just have to include one of my Harringrove kinktober fics for this month so I'm going with 'Wanna see what's under that attitude' because it's chock full of all the kinks, and Billy in lingerie is always a pleasure.

November

Another fic that I personally feel went a little under the radar but one that I love nonetheless is 'little and broken, but still good'. My first attempt at writing one of the boys as a dad and I just adore Eddie's daughter Chrissy. Also kindergarten teacher Billy is something I need to write more of. Needless to say this is another Mungrove fic and was one of my last fills for the Billy Hargrove Bingo.

December

I've only just started this one, and I had planned on it being a short fic but I've gone a bit ham with the world building so we're in for a longer ride. Anyway, 'To keep good company' my historical A/B/O Harringrove fic is actually going to be my first attempt at some proper slow burn (although is it slow burn if they're already mated?)

This was a lot of fun, and very nice to look back at all that I've accomplished in 2023.

My absolutely no pressure tags are for @shieldofiron @weird-an @ihni and anyone else who wants to join in 😄

[invisibleraven]

Imagine your OTP where Persons A + B always fight with each other, but they have a common friend and they both plan a surprise party for Person C’s birthday. + if they find out about the other party and try to sabotage them ++ if they have to cooperate eventually

- Luke and Carrie for Julie? It could be platonic/romantic/whatever

“So Ju Ju, what do you wanna do for your birthday?” Carrie asked over lunch one day.

Julie shrugged as she munched on an apple slice-swatting Luke’s hand away when he tried to steal one. “Wasn’t really planning on much, it’s not like it’s a big one.”

“It’s still your birthday boss,” Luke interjected. “Maybe we want to celebrate you.”

“I’m really fine not doing anything,” Julie insisted. “Subject closed. Now, did either of you make any progress in our Economics project?”

“I got the bibliography started,” Luke said sheepishly. “Then I got distracted…”

“By a song right?” Carrie scoffed. “Honestly Patterson, you need to get your head out of your songbook and crack a text book for once.”

“Hey I’m passing everything!”

“Oh yes, stellar academic achievement there,” Carrie snarked.

Luke was about to argue back when Julie started rubbing her temples. “Can you two not argue for once? Please? For me?”

The two of them grumbled but agreed, remaining as civil as they could for the rest of the lunch period, then heading off to their classes.

But both Luke and Carrie kept coming back to Julie’s lack of plans for her birthday. And came to the same, separate conclusion.

“I’m going to throw her a surprise party!”

Carrie went all in, finding caterers who would accommodate Julie’s love of Puerto Rican food, her own veganism, and the various allergies and restrictions of the rest of their friend group.

Luke figured that food was easy-just ask everyone to bring something. He’d tap in Tia Victoria for some of Julie’s favourites, but otherwise a potluck seemed the way to go.

Carrie decided a DJ was the best choice for music-even though everyone she knew was musically inclined, she wanted them to enjoy the party instead of performing through it.

Luke lived and breathed music, so he knew he and the guys could handle the music for the party. Plus maybe get a karaoke machine so everyone could just go to town on whatever song they wanted? Plus it would give him a chance to debut the new song he wrote just for Julie.

“Reggie!” Carrie flounced over to him, handing him the embossed invitations she had made. “I have a job for you.”

“Sure thing Care Bear, what can I do for my favourite Candi?” he replied with that easy going smile of his. She explained how she wanted him to bring Julie to the party, but not let her show up too early.

“I mean I can, but I kinda already agreed to do that for Luke for his party,” Reggie said, rubbing the back of his neck. “You two might need to coordinate.”

Carrie wasn’t sure if her shriek was internal or not, but she was sure the look on her face conveyed it well enough. Thoughts flooded her mind about sabotage, but no, she was above that.

However she didn’t think Luke would be-so she swallowed her pride and marched up to him. “You need to cancel your party for Julie.”

“I need to do no such thing,” Luke replied, crossing his (stupidly impressive) arms.

Carrie hugged a little, resisting the urge to stomp her foot like she did with her dad as a child. “Look I’m sure you planned some basic soirée, but I have put time and effort into planning an excellent party for Julie. A superior party. So obviously mine should be the one that goes ahead.”

“Basic?” Luke fumed. “Sure it’s not fancy like whatever stuffy affair you have planned, but it’s full of stuff I know Julie will enjoy! Plus as her boyfriend, I take precedence!”

“So somehow that outranks me as her girlfriend?” Carrie asked, eyes slotted as she stared him down.

He shrank at that. Julie had told him that she cared for them both, and they agreed (albeit grudgingly) to share. Because she had told him they were equal and if they didn’t like it, she would be done with them both.

“Fine, maybe we can do both?” Luke suggested. “Or smush them together?”

“Fine,” Carrie replied with an eye roll. “My place after school. We’re going to have to work together.”

“Believe me I’m dreading it as much as you are,” Luke grumped.

In the end they managed to reach a compromise-Luke kept the potluck and the karaoke, Carrie kept the venue and DJ, plus the fancy cake she had ordered because even Luke admitted that beat his idea to bake it himself.

Julie was thrilled with the party-praising them both for organizing it, and for working together to make it so special, even after she insisted that she didn’t need a big celebration for her birthday.

She just kept it to herself that she hated surprise parties.

[swissboyhisch]

That Scar Hurt By The Way

Pairing: Nikita Zadorov x Reader

Summary: In a world where everyone has a soulmate link, you happened to luck out with a pain link.

Word Count: 1424

Warnings: None I think. It is an AU though.

Request: From ANON I need soulmate and or were! fics so bad any player!😍😍🥞🥞

THE MASTERLIST JOIN THE TAGLIST HOCKEY DISCORD

Soulmates. A term used to describe two people who were meant to be with each other. Can be used platonically but more common when referring to romantic relationships.

No-one knows when it began but these days, people were born with a link to their soulmate. There were different links you could have. Marks shared by the two. Person A draws on themselves and it appears on person B. One is singing/listening to a song and the other can hear it. Some have a measure of how much danger their partner is in. 

You were born with the pain sharing and matching scars link. Growing up, you’d have random bruises popping up on your body. At random points through the years, you’d feel bursts of pain before the bruises arose. They became more frequent in your later teens and early adulthood. And more painful.

There was one instance in particular that you vividly remember. 7th of November 2019. You were going about your day, teaching one of your grade 10 classes, when you felt something hit you in the face. Your hands flew to your lip. The pain was extensive. 

“Miss!” One of the girls shouted as the class watched you hunch over.

“Are you okay?” 

You worked up the courage to pull your hands away from your jaw. Blood. And a lot of it. “I–” 

“I’m going to get Miss Allen.”

Julie, one of your students, helped you to your desk and handed you the trash can. The pain became too much. Vomiting despite trying to hold it in. Your students whisper, worried about you. The sound of heels rushing to your class made you groan. 

“Okay guys,” Lily, your colleague and close friend, called. She clapped her hands to gain the class’ attention. “Can you please make your way next door to Mrs. Harrison’s class. She knows you are coming. Hurry please.”

Lily made her way over to you, towel in hand. You looked up at her. “Hi.”

“Hey, you look like you took a puck to the face,” She jokes.

You hold the towel to your face wound and give her a glare. “Thanks.”

“Let’s get you to the hospital,” Lily states. “I have Hayley covering my class. And Nick is coming to pick up your class.”

15 stitches later and some strong medication helped you push through. That’s the day that won't leave your mind. You now have a permanent scar over your chin and lip that you try to cover daily. Makeup has become your best friend. Since then you have struggled with your self image. Men would cringe away, disgusted, when they saw the scar. 

Despite your quite obvious soulmate link, it was years after that event that you had met him. Nikita Zadorov. A Russian NHL defenseman for the Calgary Flames. Six foot five. Brown hair. Chocolate brown eyes. 

You moved to Canada to teach recently. Better pay. Calgary to be precise. And one day at the end of the school year, you had to cover for a PE class. You were told it was going to be an easy cover since there were a couple guests coming to talk to the grade 10 group. A couple of hockey players. Sure, you had watched hockey but not to a crazy extent. The class though… excitement. It was all they have been talking about for weeks. God forbid having these students after this period.

“I have your guests here,” One of the office ladies called as she entered the gym. 

In walked three guys wearing Calgary Flames merch. You smile, offering your hand and name. 

“Tyler Toffoli.”

“Jacob Markstrom.”

Then he stepped forward. I mean it was hard not to notice him. But the first thing that caught your eye was the scar on his jaw. One that happened to match yours. “Nikita Zadorov.”

“Hi…” Before you could shake his hand or say anything else the students started coming in. “Guys come sit down and you’ll get to talk to them at the end of class.”

“And signatures?” One of the boys asked. 

“Yes. And signatures.”

You got to sit at the back watching over the students and observing. You needed to find out more about the tall defenseman. Without you noticing either, Zadorov kept glancing at you. The class finally got to question time where they were firing off all types of questions, about hockey, about the team. But one piqued your interest.

“How did you get that scar?” One of the students asked Zadorov.

The man chuckled, “I got a puck to the face back at the start of the 2019-2020 season.”

Thanks to his words, you were thrown back into that memory. The pain. The healing process. You were basically 100% sure he was your soulmate. But there was one way of confirming it. Pain. A pinch to your arm. Nothing too extreme but it was enough to make him jump in surprise. One that you noticed.

The bell rang, indicating the end of the period and the start of lunch. The students finally left, and you went forward to thank them for coming in. They were staying for the last period to talk to another class, but you wouldn’t be covering. 

“Thank you for today. The kids loved it,” You hummed. “It was an honour.”

“I don’t want to be annoying, but do you have a scar on your lip?” Toffoli asked.

It caught you out. Too nervous to say anything. “I mean yeah, I got it years ago. Puck to the face. You know the drill.” You didn’t mean to say the puck bit, but you couldn’t think of any other excuse. Bloody Lily and her joke. 

“Same as me,” Zadorov smiled.

“Yeah…”

“Soulmates,” Markstrom grinned.

Zadorov pinches himself without you realising. You didn’t jump but you rubbed where he pinched. “You are my soulmate.”

“I think so… That scar hurt by the way.”

Neither of you could believe it. Your soulmate. 

“Can I see it?” Zadorov asked shyly. He remembered how badly it hurt. To know you also felt it. God that hurt him more than the actual injury. “The scar I mean.”

You guided him to your class where you could have the conversation in private. The other two dropped off at the staff room for some lunch. You sat down at your desk and pulled out your makeup wipes. Using your phone camera as a mirror, you wiped off your makeup covering the scar.

“May I?”

After agreeing, Zadorov’s hand comes to cup your jaw. Sparks filled your bodies, the soulmate touch. So gentle. Lightly ghosting your skin. His thumb grazed the scar. The dented lines across your lips and down your chin. One scar matching his.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, feeling his heart break once more.

When it first happened, he was aware that his soulmate was experiencing this at the same time. The pain accelerated because of this knowledge. Every time he looked in the mirror, he imagined what it would look like on another person. His soulmate. But to finally see it on them, the pain returned. He did this to you.

You smile softly, “It’s okay.”

“15 stitches,” he muttered.

“7th November 2019.”

Zadorov, still cupping your jaw, leaned in. Pressing his forehead to yours. “Tell me about it.”

“I was teaching back in Anchorage. End of the day. A grade 10 class. They’re probably scarred for life. Just feeling that sudden pain, hunching over covering my lip and jaw. But that pain had me vomiting. My friend had to take me to hospital. She even made a joke that it was like I took a puck to the face.”

“Well, you did,” Zadorov offers, “Kind of, anyway.”

Your class door opened and there stood your favourite colleague with Toffoli and Markstrom behind her. “When they said Zadorov had met his soulmate and it was the PE teacher, was a little shocked thinking it was Mr. Paulson for a hot sec.”

“Yes Big Z,” Toffoli grinned, messing with the defenseman’s hair. 

Zadorov pushed his teammate away with a roll of his eyes. “Leave us alone.”

“Can’t do sadly, bell is about to go so we have to head to the gym.”

You got an expectant look which made you shake your head. “I’m not covering for the next class. I have one of my own.”

“Can I see you after?” Zadorov asked.

“I hope you’d want to,” You laugh.

“Out of all the soulmate links to have, we have this. But I’m thankful it’s you.”

TAG LIST:

@findapenny @mp0625 @hischierhaze @11zegras @lvrzegras @francesfarhadi @cixrosie @daisysthings

[applexxpop]

Welcome home ship thoughts

Home is not included

Wally Darling

Wally x Barnaby 9/10- LOVE IT. can see then being platonic or romantic. Loving the size difference and honestly they just look cute together. Wally definitely gives Barnaby bones and treats and Barnaby gives Wally new paint tubes

Wally x Howdy 10/10- I LOVE THIS SHIP, the fact Howdy has 4 arms to squish Wally with is just 😩 also again, the size difference, it makes my brain go brrr. Wally steals Apples and Howdy calls him greedy but let’s him have whatever

Wally x Julie 0/10- Don’t like it. I just can’t see it? Idk I see Julie as a big sister to him

Wally x Eddie 8/10- love this ship, just a southern man that forgets everything with a straight forward autistic man makes my brain go silly. Also when Eddie delivers mail he definitely kisses Wally’s cheek or something and says “special delivery!” And Wally does his little monotone laugh “Ha Ha Ha” and gives the mailman a kiss back

Wally x Frank 7/10- it’s been growing on me honestly, Wally definitely captures ‘butterflies’ for Frank to study but Frank doesn’t have to heart to tell me it’s a moth.

Wally x Sally 0/10- honest can’t see it, I find it platonic or them just being little gremlins together

Wally x Poppy 0/10- she’s a mother to him 💀 Poor girl ruffles her feathers at anything Wally does that causes Danger to himself, which happens often to none but still, she worries for him

Barnaby B. Beagle

Barnaby x Howdy 9/10- Barnaby’s thing said he comes into Howdy’s bodega everyday to get a hotdog, so imagine he comes in everyday and they develop feelings for each other slowly as the days, weeks, and months go by

Barnaby x Julie 0/10- just no, to me Barnaby is her big brother

Barnaby x Eddie 2/10- never thought about until now. Can’t see it ever happening, mailman and a dog? Yea, no. But Barnaby chasing after Eddie is kinda cute

Barnaby x Frank 2/10- again, never thought about it until now, honestly they just seem like the two neighbors that are friends with everyone but they don’t talk that often to each other

Barnaby x Sally 0/10- again little sister big brother

Barnaby x Poppy 0/10- she reminds him of his mama

Howdy Pillar

Howdy x Julie 0/10- I just- I don’t know something about Julie screams little sister to them to me

Howdy x Eddie 9/10- very cute, the only two business owners in Welcome Home in a relationship? I’m my opinion, that’s cute. I can see Eddie delivering packages and stuff to Howdy and Eddie give him a big ol smooch and happily says “special delivery!” And Howdy smiles and says “I wonder who it’s from!” And Eddie goes “Me!” And they both laugh! Also they spend the early morning together, Eddie got all his mail ready to be delivered so he sits and eats breakfast with Howdy before he starts getting his bodega ready for the day.

Howdy x Frank 8/10- Also very cute! A 4ft grumpy man that’s special interest is butterflies with a 8ft tall caterpillar? Yes, please. I imagine Frank calls or visits Howdy’s bodega to ask if he’s had lunch yet or if he ate breakfast he packed for him, and of course Howdy ate the Breakfast but he’s been so busy he hasn’t eaten lunch so they eat lunch together.

Howdy x Sally 0/10- seriously what’s up with me thinking they are little sisters to everyone??

Howdy x Poppy 0/10- I think he sees Poppy almost as a mother as well; she calls him darling and brings him cookies, or when he works late at the bodega and falls asleep, she just happens to visit and sees, placing a blanket over him or waking him up so he can rest in his proper bed.

Eddie Dear

Eddie x Julie 0/10- they gossip about Frank but in a good way, also they play dress up and have tea party’s

Eddie x Frank 1000/10- Literally husbands. I could go on for fucking ever about these two but if I do this will be longer then I want so I’m just going to say I REALLY REALLY love them <3

Eddie x Sally 0/10- helps bandage her knees cause she’s always rehearsing dramatic scenes for her plays, can’t tell me otherwise

Eddie x Poppy 0/10- she’s a mama to everyone

Frank Frankly

Frank x Julie 0/10- no 💀 they are best friends

Frank x Sally 0/10- just no, they are both gay(in my opinion)

Frank x Poppy 0/10- No, once again SHE IS MAMA. Also they tell eachother their deepest darkest secrets 🤫

Poppy Partridge

Poppy x Julie 0/10- just can’t see it

Poppy x Sally ?/10- ….im thinking about it

Julie Joyful

Julie x Sally 10/10- Girlfriends for real. Sally let’s Julie reluctantly change the scripts in her plays because it makes her happy and Sally loves seeing her sunshine happy🥰

Eddie x Frank x Howdy 10000/10- oh my 😍 Imagine them cuddling, and Frank is In the middle while Eddie spoons them from behind, and Howdy's arms are over both of them, one arm under the pillow, one under Frank. the other two laying over Frank holding Eddie’s waist . One of Frank's arms curled around Eddie’s arm with their other hand clinging to Howdy’s night shirt.

[autogynocrat]

So what’d it take to accept yourself as being trans and stop giving a shit about the potential repercussions that might’ve come out of that?

LONG POST INCOMING! PLEASE BARE WITH ME! IT IS VERY RAMBLY! BUT I HAVE A TL:DR AT THE END IF YOU DONT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO READ IT ALL!

i had been grappling with the existential dread for years that "one of these days you will be too old to be a femboy, people won't think it's cute for a 35 year old man to dress feminine, they'll think its creepy. you're getting older and aging like a man more every year and soon you will be just like the sissies boomers in poorly fitting dresses that make you so uncomfortable.

you're going to have to give up and become a regular man soon" in 2019 i thought i had accepted my fate, and hoped i could at least age gracefully. i had previously suffered from recurring boughts of discomfort and disconnect with my body, particularly the shape of my jaw, shoulders, and the beard(the beard was the worst thing, it would leave me paralyzed for weeks during the summer every year, ever since around age 20 i have wanted laser hair removal). but it was the though of having to give up and live the rest of my life as a man that was the straw that broke the camels back for me.

but only one year later thinking about it started giving me a really bad identity crisis, i started crying and panicking whenever i thought about how i would have to live as a man for the rest of my life, it was genuinely horrifying, and i felt like "twinkdeath" was creeping up on me, and i found that if I actually wanted hormones it was extremely easy for me to obtain them with just a little bit of my discretionary spending.

i had been talking with some of my trans friends about my issues with gender, that i didnt really feel comfortable as a man, even though at the time i felt like i could never be a woman, some suggested i could be nonbinary. i remember before i finally bit the bullet i talked to a friend who was a transwoman about my gender issues, and after finding that what i was going through felt very similar to what she went through before transitioning, i decided "well, theres nothing wrong with me at least trying hormones, if i dont feel better i'll just stop, its better than being forced to live as a man for the rest of my life"

during the early months of my transition, maybe even the first year and a half, i still kinda identified as a "hrt femboy" or a "nonbinary bigender boygirl" bc i did not feel like i was a real woman or anything, i was just taking estrogen because it alleviated the bad feelings and made me feel happier with my body. i wasnt sure about having boobs yet but i considered it an acceptable tradeoff because everything else made me feel good about my body. i did however, look into SERMs(a type of hormone regulator that can supposedly block estrogenic activity in the breasts) and even briefly used some.

HOWEVER, july of my first year on hrt i got my fateful job at mcdonalds. this period i actually unironically feel like shaped my gender identity to some degree. during the pandemic we all had to wear masks so nobody saw my clocky man chin or anything like that, they just saw my effeminate estrogenized little tits and my beautiful eyes. i got she'd a lot, called pretty, told i was a sweet girl by customers who liked me, and even customers who didn't like me still acted like i was a girl, as they called me a stupid bitch, and said shit like "she got my order wrong" "she was rushing me" stuff like that. being perceived as a woman felt good...i started to identify more with that

a couple times i doubted i was really trans, had some kind of imposter syndrome, that A)i was a fake trans because i denied it for so long, or B) that i didn't DESERVE to be trans because i used to be kind transphobic at times. i tried to stop hrt. every time it didn't take long before i became super dysphoric and decided go to back on it. after a few attempts i kinda realized i belonged on hrt. and when my tits became smaller from attempting to stop i actually felt sad about it, thats how i realized, hey i actually like having boobs, its not a trade off, its one of the benefits

and then bridget came out in guilty gear strive. VERY CONTROVERSIAL thing because suddenly the femboy everyone liked was trans. but. the thing is. i found that very relatable. bc i was also the femboy everyone liked as a femboy, but was kinda trans now, and people who thought i was "based" before, were disgusted at me now. idk. i had a "shes just like me fr" moment and decided i didnt want to keep hiding behind being nonbinary or "hrt femboy" anymore, i wanted to be a girl too. so i just came out and was like yeah i'm she/her pls and my followers who still liked me were like "yeah everyone already saw this coming lol u arent surprising anybody"

anyways yeah the tl;dr is that i basically realized at 25 i could not bear to live with being a man for the rest of my life and i would rather transition than have to be a man, i would rather risk being hated, would rather risk infertility, rather than have to be a man,and it led me to talk to other trans people privately and realize oh hey its not normal for having stubble to send me into a massive depressive episode and thats actually gender dysphoria.

[rekishi-aka]

Tatort Saabrücken timeline thoughts (or: DfL was actually time travel)

Okay so this is a mashup of this post with post-KdE musings, because I obviously needed to course correct for KdE.

The whole thing only started making sense when I rewatched everything again before KdE. My hypothesis starts with DfL actually taking place in 2021 (instead of 2020 when it aired).

Okay let's look at a few facts:

Leo says Adam has been gone for 15 years

They were in 11th grade in 2006 per the yearbook in "Der Herr des Waldes" (= 16/17 years old per starting school at 6 or 7 and G8, both of which would have still been true when they were in school, Saarland only switched to G7 in 2003 and they would likely have been on a G8 track already)

The doorman at the Hofer company says he's born in 1955 (just like his car) and that he will retire in a few months

It's clearly spring (Lida is sowing peas and the next episode takes place two months later when it's obviously summer)

By this logic, their lives would look like this:

1990: Adam and Leo are born [I remember grading papers at uni for my freshmen born in 1990, I thought they were so incredibly young then and now 20 year olds never knew a pre 9/11 world, gosh I feel old 😭]

If we're keeping the actors actual birthdays, a few days apart in July (post-Stichtag babies): 1989

2006:

April: Roland Schürk falls into a coma after his...accident, after meeting Lausch in the woods

July/August: Adam and Leo start 11th grade (Adam was in Lausch's Philosphy class and Lausch only started at their school after the summer)

2007: Adam vanishes. My personal guess is sometime in spring/summer when he couldn't take it anymore...but Adam also isn't stupid enough to run in winter.

+15 years is 2022. Which absolutely doesn't work from a timeline perspective, because that would mean "Das Herz der Schlange" takes place shortly after "Der Herr des Waldes" and the whole team is a) too cozy for that in the restaurant, but also b) Roland is healed up and getting a cut Achilles tendon healed up does not happen in a matter of months, c) Roland had had time to plan his ultimate revenge, and d) they're dressed for early summer throughout the episode. I guess it could be early autumn, but I don't actually think so.

Until now, I always thought the writer had simply messed up the timeline and 15 years sounded better than 13 years. The link above assumes that "Das fleißige Lieschen" takes place in 2020, which was the year it aired.

(This is a non-Covid world, simply because in 2019, when it was shot, they couldn't know. So this is where the Tatort universe diverges, since a few Tatort franchises definitely had Covid, e.g., Berlin.)

However, again, I don't think, because: The doorman says he was born 1955 and that he is going to retire shortly.

Regular retirement age for birth year 1955 was 65 years 9 months (because retirement age rises incrementally until it reaches 67 year). It's spring. 1955+65 years 9 months = 2021

Also, a friend pointed out that Konrad Hofer delivered also the files for 2020 (150 years, 75 years for each of them), but those wouldn't be available in 2020, so this must be 2021.

Which means: "Das fleißige Lieschen" and "Der Herr des Waldes" both take place in 2021 and "Das Herz der Schlange" takes place in April or May 2022 and since Adam looks pretty hale in the promo pictures. Alternately, there could be a two-year jump to 2023, but I actially doubt it.

As for "Die Kälte der Erde":

Boris is still in prison

It's set in Mexico (or at least the dog days of summer)

Adam and Esther are bickering (which is actually nice!) but Adam is also still really mad about the SEK, and attrition would likely have taken care of that. there's a limit to how bitter and grudge-y one can be for prolonged periods of time

Plus, where was Adam living for a whole year? If he'd been with Leo, that would be really shitty to move out again after that long a while, and Leo is in far too good a mood at the beginning for that to be an issue

So it seems likely that KdE actually takes place in August 2022 [or 2023 if HdS is also 2023], which would leave sufficient time for Adam to heal up and rehab his fingers and be back in the field. This, of course, means that they weren't shattered but "only" broken [unlikely considering how it had happened, but! Tatort logic, whatever], but eh. If they want to run with it, fine by me.

This still means that the 15 years Adam is supposed to have been gone are an embellishment, but let's be honest, 15 years sounds better than 14.

I wonder if we'll be stuck in 2022 for the rest of time.

So, this leaves us with the following dates:

1990: Adam and Leo are born

If we're keeping the actors actual birthdays, a few days apart in July: 1989

2006:

April: Roland Schürk falls into a coma after his...accident, after meeting Lausch in the woods

July/August: Adam and Leo start 11th grade (Adam was in Lausch's Philosphy class and Lausch only started at their school after the summer)

2007: Adam vanishes. My personal guess is sometime in spring/summer when he couldn't take it anymore...but Adam also isn't stupid enough to run in winter. (Although my friend is right, he would be stupid enough to run in winter if it got too bad.)

2021

March/April [latest time to sow peas]: "Das fleißige Lieschen", Adam returns, Roland wakes up

May/June [two months later]: "Der Herr des Waldes", Roland gets suspicious

2022:

April/May: "Das Herz der Schlange", Roland seemingly gets his revenge on Adam for not becoming the man he wanted him to be

August-ish: "Die Kälte der Erde"

[tsuki-chibi]

Ladynoir July 2023 Day 10: Trust Fall

Read all the entries on AO3 (except today's, which I was unable to post b/c of the obvious... I waited as late as I could and now give up.)

–

Chat was snickering to himself when Ladybug arrived for their patrol that night. A bit bemused, because she rarely saw her partner in such a good mood, Ladybug hopped down next to him. They were the first ones here for once, but she had no doubt that Carapace, Rena, and Queen Bee would be along shortly.

“What’s so funny?” she asked curiously, and Chat laughed harder.

“It’s – it’s my father,” he rasped out, and Ladybug furrowed her eyebrows. She really didn’t see what was so funny about Gabriel Agreste. If anything, any mention of Gabriel was usually more than enough to suck all the joy out of a room.

“Your father?” Ladybug repeated after a few seconds, hopelessly lost. So far as she knew, there had been nothing special or out of the ordinary about Adrien’s schedule today. He’d left school early for a photoshoot, and then he had a Mandarin lesson. But when you had a somewhat tempestuous father like Gabriel Agreste, your schedule could change on a dime.

“I’ll tell you when everyone else arrives. I think I’ll crack a rib from laughing if I have to tell it twice,” Chat said.

“That’s mean,” Ladybug said, pouting a little. But she couldn’t stay mad. Not when Chat’s smile stretched from ear to ear. It was such a pleasure to see him so happy for once that she didn’t even press the issue; just laid her head on his shoulder and waited for their friends to arrive.

Queen Bee came first, followed by Rena Rouge and then, after a good ten minutes, Carapace. He was huffing and puffing as he dashed over to them.

“Sorry! I couldn’t get Chris out of my room. He watched a scary movie and wouldn’t go to bed,” he explained, dropping to his knees.

“It’s fine. Now, we’re all here. Chat, tell us!” Ladybug ordered.

“Tell us what?” Rena asked with interest, and Chat grinned.

“So recently, my father’s company has been having a morale problem,” he revealed.

“Shocking,” Queen Bee said dryly. “I can’t imagine why employees wouldn’t like working under Gabriel Agreste.”

Chat nodded at her. “Yeah, exactly. But my father doesn’t really get that. He authorized Nathalie to hire these people to come in and analyze the company and figure out where improvements could be made.”

“My mom’s company did that once,” Carapace observed. “She said it was a pain.”

“My dad too,” Rena said.

“Yep. But man…” Here, Chat giggled.

“Chat! Tell us!” Ladybug practically screamed.

“Okay! Okay. So one of the things these people said we should do is get to know each other better. They had all these ideas for employee icebreakers and what not, and they said it was best if everyone did them.” Chat’s shoulders were trembling with laughter. “Everyone including the boss.”

Dead silence.

Rena’s eyes were huge when she said, “Are you telling me – what, that Gabriel Agreste did a trust fall with his employees?”

“Is he in the hospital because they let him fall?” Queen Bee wanted to know.

“Queen Bee,” Ladybug said half-heartedly.

Queen Bee scoffed. “Oh please. Don’t even try to tell me you wouldn’t let him fall, because I wouldn’t believe you.”

Ladybug had no response for that.

“Not my dad. He’s too good for that. He sent someone in his place.”

And then Ladybug got it. She burst out laughing. “Are you telling me Nathalie Sancoeur did a trust fall on your dad’s behalf?”

They all started laughing, Chat most of all. His giggling was almost frantic as he waved his hands.

“It – it gets better!” he sputtered. “She was holding my dad’s tablet and FaceTiming him the whole time!”

That did it. All five heroes collapsed into helpless giggles. Needless to say, no patrolling got done that night.

[beauzos]

Books I read this July

Something I've been wanting to do but kept forgetting so here we are!! An overview of all the books I've read this month!! I don't know if anyone really cares but I love talking about books, so here we are. We have a couple more days of July, but I just started an 800 page book so no shot it gets done this month. I read 10 books this month, and I'm rather pleased about that.

The Wide Wide Sea by Hampton Sides | 4.5/5 stars

I started this in June but finished in July so I'm counting it. One of my favorites this month. I could conceive of it being slightly better or detailed at some parts, so it's not a 5/5, but it's damn close. Sides has a great and engaging nonfiction style that this makes book incredibly approachable for anybody. It's very well-researched and does a great job unveiling the final journey that Captain Cook took before his death in Hawaii.

I loved this book because it clarified a lot of things about Cook. Something I thought was interesting was how rarely he ever judged the Native peoples he came into contact with. Because of that, you actually get such an intimate feel for who these people actually were at the time because he just accepted their practices, religion, and so on. He's still a colonizer, don't get me or this book wrong, but I've never really seen a book about someone like Cook where they didn't immediately hate the people they encountered or tried to "fix" or proselytize to them. I found that to be a very interesting dynamic.

It was such a unique historical experience reading this book because he just observed and impartially participated in their goings-on. I've never quite seen anything like it.

I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Two Old Women by Velma Wallis | 5/5 stars

This one I loved. This is a telling of an Alaskan Native legend about two old women who were abandoned by their tribe in the winter due to famine, and how they fought to survive, eventually returning to their tribe and helping them survive in return.

Really short, very simple. I don't have a lot to say, I just thought the story was great and had really solid emotional impact for its length. Easy to breeze through, can read this in an hour or so. Definitely recommend checking out.

Antelope Woman by Louise Erdrich | 3.5/5 stars

I read this one after my best friend told me Stephen Graham Jones took inspiration from it for The Only Good Indians. I only read Tracks by Erdrich and that was back in 2017 and I did not love it, but I liked her style. I think this one is better. Something about it doesn't fully work, and I wish honestly the book had been about the family story that gets rushed through in chapter 1, but the premise is super interesting and Erdrich's style is incredible.

She writes in a way that makes everything feel incredibly mythic. The characters are interesting and the story is pretty good. I love Sweetheart Calico as a character and I see how she could've inspired Jones for Elk Head Woman in TOGI.

The amount of incest was a bit strange though.

Close Range: Wyoming Stories by Annie Proulx | 3/5 stars

This one I have mixed feelings on. Annie Proulx has a great style but I had trouble getting into a lot of the stories. A lot of the stories feel kinda samey with all the cheating, rape, and sexual harrassment. The best of those stories is the one about the rodeo bull rider, that was legitimately a great story. My favorite of the set overall is Brokeback Mountain. It stands miles above the other ones and is what makes the book 3 stars instead of 2. It by itself is a solid 5/5.

I would revisit some of these stories but I just struggled to get into the book overall. Not bad though.

The Heart in Winter by Kevin Barry | 2.5/5 stars

Oh, brother. This one. I was really excited for this one because it's a new Western that's been getting a lot of buzz and then it was nottt good. Extremely rushed pacing early on, insta-love romance, terribly developed romance. Why would I even care about these two-levels of bad development.

The prose is fine. Very casual, kinda reminds me of a mix of Annie Proulx and Cormac McCarthy. It carries the book because there isn't much to get attached to otherwise. The ending renders the entire book pointless. If I care about their relationship then maybe it'd mean something.

Mid as fuck. Beginning is the worst bit but if the ending had stuck the landing it could have been 3 stars.

The Art Thief by Michael Finkel | 3/5 stars

This was the non-fiction pick at Barnes & Noble for July. I picked it up because this is new in paperback, and it came with sprayed edges, yellow with bats printed on the side. I read it, and it was fine. That's about all I can really say. There's something missing from this book, but as to what it is, I have no idea. It's readable and the story is interesting enough, but I guess I'm just more interested in hardcore history non-fiction books.

But I'd never heard of this guy before; he stole over 200 pieces of art from museums across Europe with his girlfriend and kept them all in his bedroom. The ease in which they managed to steal these artworks is incredible.

It's not my usual kind of non-fiction read. But it wasn't bad. It's interesting, it's a wild story, and it was fine.

The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton | 3/5 stars

This one turned out better than I expected. I read it because I had a weird dream about being super moved by Edith Wharton's writing and then found out she did a novel on Gilded Age New York so couldn't pass it up. First half of the book is painfully boring. I don't like Edith Wharton's style of narration, but eventually, the characters start to carry it and you get invested in this stupid rich white people drama. I kinda loved the ending, though it also disappointed me-- but I think it was brilliantly done and I couldn't ask for it to be changed.

Newland Archer is so despicable at points yet terribly sympathetic as a protagonist, I find him SO interesting because of that. I really loved Ellen Olenska and Catherine Mingott too. The cast was honestly pretty solid. I'm glad I didn't give up on it, but it didn't wow me.

But it was enlightening to see the culture of the NYC elite during the Gilded Age. it's what I was there for. It's white people drama, and that's all, really, but it's good stuff.

West by Carys Davies | 2/5 stars

I found out about this one after seeing a customer come up with it in my line a while back. Found out it was a Western and ordered it for myself. Real itty bitty book, only 150 pages, and honestly, I think the book would be improved by being a full-length novel-- or, that it is to say, about double the pages, at least.

I thought the premise was interesting but it doesn't really go anywhere. The father goes West to find proof that giant beasts exist after dinosaur bones are discovered in Kentucky, searches fruitlessly for a year, then dies, and that's it. I wanted an actual journey, I suppose.

The way the daughter's half of the story veers into multiple pedophiles preying on her was weird as hell and I'm not sure it contributed very much beyond the ending. I think the inclusion is fine, it just feels super underbaked in a short novella like this and needs some tweaking.

It just kind of ends with a whimper and that's that. Woefully underdeveloped, but I didn't hate it. I just finished it and went "huh." and that was it.

Navola by Paolo Bacigalupi | 2.5/5 stars

Man what the fuck.

The book is both really bad and really good. Really boring, hard to get into, pseudo incest subplot making me want to DNF after the story started getting through. But I'd already read 300 pages, so I forged on and finished it. The book gets really good at the end, but at what cost to my sanity?

I did a whole review of this before. Look at it here. I don't feel like repeating myself. The book would be 3 or even 4 stars without the pseudo incest or the boring start.

President Garfield by C. W. Goodyear | 3.5/5 stars

This one took me a while to get through because I got sick in the middle of it. It was a bit dry, but not dense, but still took me over a week. I thought it was very interesting and informative-- Garfield's era reminds me, in some ways, of our current situation, so it's always neat to compare. He was a very interesting man, and I wonder what could've been had he been able to carry out his presidency; he died only six months into his term. Pretty good. Close to four stars but not quite. I felt some things could've been elaborated on more, but overall, it was well written.

The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt by Edmund Morris | tba

I have no shot at finishing this by the end of July, the fucker is 800 pages. But Teddy Roosevelt is one of the most interesting people to ever become president, so I look forward to learning more about him.

[aggold15hi01]

A long post on a life update-30th July 2024

⚠️ Trigger warning for mentions of cyber b*llying, b*llying; ab*se and also how does the internet does feels like a dark & scary place plus mentions of d*pr*ss**n as well as a result of loss of life.

Read this with caution when you are reading this individual post on here.

Heard the news of how C*rlos is going to replace Logan who has been my comfort driver for a very long time and honestly; it does truthfully angers me especially when we are truthfully talking about the part where there are people (Especially when we are truly talking about the t*xic people who are feeling truthfully happy to see Logan go which does truthfully angers me a lot to the point where it makes me want to quietly r*p*rt them for b*llying and ab*se as well as h*te as well to be honest) whom they are feeling truthfully h*ppy to see him (Logan) go and having to be truly replaced by C*rlos.

I know I have nothing against C*rlos however when it comes to free agency side of F1; I do feel as if this is a merry go round ride I do wanted to truthfully get off both this t*xic merry go round ride and the scary t*xic roller coaster ride as already I am feeling truthfully upset and deeply saddened by what I am hearing the news about how Logan is going to truthfully be replaced by C *rlos and then instead of thanking him; in reality; there are so many people whom they would just criticize him and also yet having to feel that evil satisfaction of how he (Logan) is getting replaced by C*rlos and honestly; I am feeling very angered; hurt and upset by what I am truthfully hearing right now.

And honestly; it does truthfully hurts me and angers me when I did heard the people who would do nothing but to simply waste all of their own precious time to truthfully criticize someone like Logan and yet having to evilly just praise the replace of C*rlos and this does truthfully hurts so many people (Including me, myself and I selfishly) on how he (Logan) is going to be truthfully replaced by C*rlos and honestly; I know the next point I am going to truthfully say is going to be an irrelevant note but sometimes I don't truthfully blame Logan at this point in his very own life especially when we are talking about the part where he is going to be truthfulyl replaced for the next season dejectedly; but honestly and oddly, I am feeling thsnkful that he didn't definitely use Twitter/ X despite how he has an account; the last thing on my mind was to definitely think about how he (Logan) react when he read all of those t*xi*c comments out there online and yet to dig a deeper hole into the grave; the w*rst thing for me is tor truthfully hear that he wopuld read those comments and yet having to truthfully experience any early signs of d*pr*ss**n.

Also, on an irrelevant note; I sometimes think the internet can be also a very dark and scary place as well especially with all of the cyber b*llying online and the online h*rr*ssment everyone had to gone through every single day in their very own life and yet one of the worst things to truthfully experience is having to read both h*te and the b*llying comments about how you aren't being 'good' enough for anyone or anybody else in general and this does deeply saddens me especially as a person who had went through a real life experience of being b*llied and also having to be an actually b*lly as well in general.

On another note: I do want to truly wish Logan well in his other endeavors wherever he goes along with sending him unconditional prayers that may god bless him unconditionally wherever he goes additionally on another yet an irrelevant note as well; I do wish more people can learn how to truthfully have more compassion and more knowledge by having to truly know their life story instead of having to truthfully simply judge them for nothing and yet just simply having to waste their own time by having to criticize him and to also b*lly anyone or anybody online in general until they truthfully lost their life.

Plus instead of wasting your time just simply cyber b*llying towards someone you don't truthfully know very well and yet wasting more time by having to truly write out h*te posts about them; why not you go focus on elsewhere and just invest in your very own life on both endeavors and other interests you do want to truthfully pursue in your very own life for a very long time.

It is simple as that.

Very long post but I did wanted to get something off from my chest and also having to truthfully share my own thoughts on here as well and yet having to truthfully let everyone know about how sometimes the internet can be also a dark and scary place in general sometimes as sometimes it can be so scary to truly experience both cyber b*llying and ab*se.

Anyway; thank you and mahalo nui loa for coming to my TED talk online and I wish you all well unconditionally.

Plus may you be blessed in every step of the way unconditionally.

[chronotopes]

PERSONAL WRITING WRAPPED 2023

Getting this done significantly earlier than I got it done last year, which I think may in itself be an indication of being in "a better mental place."

Let's get to it.

CREATIVE NONFICTION, NEW FIRST DRAFTS:

"Catalogue of Thoughts, With Rebukes," January. CLASSIC katia journal entry turned essay format, which is "conversation between versions of myself." Artistic enough suffering that it totally counts as a cnf essay.

"I Can't Remember..." (titled in real life "my homework from brenda and julie"), January. Essay Written For Practice, specifically inspired by the prompt "Write an essay where every sentence starts with 'I can't remember.' Cathartic and has some bits of very pretty prose. Maybe I don't agree with the overall conclusions it draws, but I sure like it as a piece of writing.

"As the sun sets over [my local river], I consider Joan of Arc," January. broooo why were my early-in-the-year cnf titles so pretentious. Lyric essay meets prose poem but I'm choosing to classify it as a lyric essay. First draft dictated into my voice memos, mad scribe style. Man i used to love voice memos.

"Elegy for a life I can't live," April. Boooo emo bullshit booo but once again cathartic and perhaps more clear-sighted about things than the previous work. Anaphora got me through a lot in the first half of this year.

"I don't understand music," April. Finally, creative nonfiction that isn't about depressing shit! About a) piano and b) love, obviously. Needs a lot of editing but I am fond of her.

"Orthodox," July. Old poem about national identity and religion that I reformulated into a very unpolished essay.

"Two gay preteens and a lake monster," July. Another old poem, reformulated into a flash essay this time. Polished it enough to submit to a call for flash essay submissions and then never did.

"Nikolayevna," July. ALSO an old poem reformulated into a flash essay. This is my favorite trick and I will do it to all of my mid-but-promising poetry one day. This one's about ~generational cycles!~

"My dead boss and my dead friend," July. New addition to my senior spring flash essay series from last year.

"A spoiler, displaced in time," July. Another new addition to the senior spring flash essay, in an effort to make it more rounded with context I did not then have.

"[personal bullshit relevant situation], or 'The Kids from Yesterday.'" The Senior Spring Essays in their totality cannot ever seen the light of day for many reasons and one of them is that the ending rests partly on an MCR-based metaphor. Which is very silly.

"Justifications," October. Oh lord back to For Processing Purposes Only creative nonfiction. That's cool I guess. Mad about how good the prose in these quasi-journal entries is and the degree to which i did not write enough of them this year.

12 pieces in total.

CREATIVE NONFICTION, NEW DRAFTS OF OLD STUFF AND UNFINISHED BUT PROMISING NEW STUFF.

"Catalogue of Kitchenware," February-August. What it sounds like.

"Obsidian Greythorne's Depression Cannot Be Cured By Finding A New, Alive Girlfriend" and "Fornax And Annue Cannot Ever Have Sex For Reasons I Just Made Up," March-June. Two entries in an envisioned series of essays exploring adolescent sexuality/identity/experience through old fictionwriting adventures.

"Catalogue of Berries," July. Eastern Europe posting.

"On Taking the Waters," July. I said "Oh, I know what's missing from this old essay about being very sad in bath!" and stuck my friend who died in there. Classic essay trick.

"A Grand Palatial House of the Old South," July. Heterosexual roommate angst processing essay, refined.

"On being old enough to talk about the war," July. Flash essay (really edging out of flash essay territory, it got long) from last year about the Russian invasion of Ukraine, completely rewritten.

"A Hill in the [local civil war history location]," July. Also a flash essay from the senior spring essays, rewritten enough to count as a newish thing.

"A Car Is Like A Little House," August. Suburbia, weather, immigration, the interstate highway system, all the usual suspects in my writing.

Nine pieces in total.

POETRY:

"Myopia in seventh-grade notebooks," January. "It is january 2023, and one year ago I should have known better. / And unlike all of the other times I ruined my life, that time, it was for forever." Less Vent Poetry and more unified concept worth working from. About reading notes to myself in old diaries.

"Novice time traveler," February. Jesus christ reading through these is killing me. This one shares a lot of ideas with dialogues but is less good lol.

"3/23/2022," February. A sestina I wrote for Gabe on the occasion of our first anniversary, and certainly a sestina I like a lot more than the first sestina I wrote. Not groundbreaking stuff but I like it anyway. I would have to take a Real Poetry Class to get properly good at poetry, I think. For those curious: my words were moon, dare, blossom, spring, test, and time.

I would write Gabe little poems every day for the last few months of being longish-distance. Not all of them were good, and I cannot count them to save my life, but among them were "Sonnet for a job application," "Sonnet for an orchestra concert," "February Villanelle," "Sonnet for warmth," "Sonnet for Spring," "For Dusk," "For the sinking sun." Some of them will be something one day. Others had value in their ephemeral Baby Poem status.

Ten completed pieces in total, a whole lot more little stuff than that.

FICTION:

52 or so thousand words of what was once titled Adventures of the Extranei and is now titled fucking, like, Untitled Quartz the Novel Project, June-November. What started out as last year's fascination with an old, sprawling, deeply flawed novel turned into a perhaps-ill-advised attempt to rename (almost) all the characters and rewrite it to be coherent. Currently, it exists in the form of a 100-page outline and one nanowrimo's worth of novel (three parts out of like twelve complete). I'll go back to it after I finish Aivide, if only because of Sunk Cock Theory.

A rewritten prologue to what was once titled Adventures of the Extranei: The Next Generation and is now titled Dude If You Rewrite All Of Nextgen Too You're Going To Have To Start Asking For Money For It Because Seriously We're Talking 500k+ words of story here. What can I say, sometimes the grip of "I could do this BETTER" overtakes you.

Three edited existing chapters and one brand new revised chapter of AIVIDE THE PREQUEL, August-December. READ IT HERE, unless you haven't read Vinbre the Novel yet, in which case read Vinbre the Novel first. Very proud of the ways I've sneakily grown as a writer since first drafting the last three chapters, very glad for the opportunity to write it as I see it now and share it with the world.

About 85,000 words in total if you only count the completely new chapter of Aivide, somewhere around 100,000 if you count stuff I added to the old ones. I could probably be more accurate about it if I wasn't writing this at 2 AM on new year's eve. (Afternoon after edit: About 37,000 new words of Aivide + 51,980 words of Quartz + 10,007 words of nextgen bullshit = just about 98,000 words of fiction. yippee!!)

Overall, 26 completed(ish) pieces in total, counting the venty drafts and the revisions, which constituted a lot of what I wrote this year.

SUPERLATIVES:

Most Economical: "Two Gay Preteens and a Lake Monster," "My Dead Boss and My Dead Friend"

Most Romantic: "I don't understand music"

Greatest Potential: "A car is like a little house," "Orthodox"

Best Emerging Genre: Essay collections

Biggest Comeback: Fiction

Most Likely To Succeed: "Catalogue of Berries," "On Taking the Waters," "Orthodox," "A Car is like a little house"

The One You Should Read: Aivide the Prequel

Worst Girls of the Year: Quartz Greythorne and Aivide Thieri

[salt-volk]

Saw the post about "other sites" and I'm feeling ~salty~, so lemme give some context for where the bar is with pet sites to y'all. Maybe you've seen ads, maybe you tried playing it and quit because the tutorial is its own circle of hell, maybe you're a blessed person who has never heard of it: Sylestia. It's run by one (1) man. He codes the entire site, has exactly 0 help - by choice. People have literally offered to help him with coding stuff *for free* and he refuses to let anyone touch his precious code.  His ex girlfriend (yes you read that right) is supposedly the other admin - she barely ever shows up, posts games/events that are full of errors, once vanished in the middle of running a game, and has personally insulted players before because they dared offer feedback on one of her ugly ass designs. There is exactly one artist for avatar items and one for pets - one other artist is listed in the credits but it's unclear what regular work, if any, they do for the site. Over 200 different avatar items are released per year, and new pet traits debut anywhere between 4-8 times per year, AND the site is in the (glacially slow) process of redoing all the art for various species. The site is at least 98% RNG by volume - including items you pay premium currency for. Retired items? RNG only. Getting pets? RNG. Getting items period? RNG. And the RNG is also awful - people are constantly having to literally beg for rates to be adjusted.  Plenty of features for events are also just. straight up gambling - you can pay solid chunks of premium currency and walk away with items that are literally worth nothing. You think DV is grindy? Sylestia not only practically requires you to spend a full workday glued to it - including events that basically require you to literally not sleep for several days - the site owner is actively making new content to further encourage ridiculous amounts of grinding. Why? Because he's worried that older players will be bored without new content - so instead of fixing any of the old content on the site, or the site itself which is a mess, he makes new content that ALSO doesn't work.  As of December, the site will be in its ELEVENTH YEAR IN BETA. So when I say "not fixing old content", I'm not talking like, a couple glitches or iffy art. I'm talking *half the site is completely incompatible with the other half*.  And all of that my friends, is still somehow not the source of my salt.  Someone pointed out to the site owner that one of his avatar items was, perhaps, a bit racist. It was (I should say is, it's still on the site :) ) a stereotypical native american dress, CLEARLY based off of the stupid Pocahontas movie, titled "Pow Wow Costume". It was released with a Pilgrim costume in the site's early years. Pretty not great, yeah? Multiple people complained, provided him sources explaining why "Maybe don't keep this on here, maybe this isn't great".  He, is white. He responded by saying he a) would not remove it, b) did not think it was offensive, c) what about the Christmas items or St. Patrick's day items the site has aren't those the same, and d) he actually visited a reservation once so he knows it's OK to have those items, and e) native players should actually be HAPPY to have those items because it was to iNcLuDE tHeM.  I am not joking.  The site has 0 acknowledgement of pride month, not a banner, not an announcement, no items, no anything - it DOES however have an entire festival for the American Fourth of July holiday. The owner claims he doesn't like to have political things on his site, make of that what you will.  The owner also issued a mass ban on a bunch of people because they said some rude shit (about the racist items, the rng, his refusal to get coding help, general issues taking feedback, etc.) in a private, off-site discord server. How did he know what they said? Why, he asked some players in the server to *spy on the others for him*.   He edited time stamps out and published a bunch of the screenshots from this private server, out of context and who knows if they were edited, and threw a public tantrum about how the players were harassing him and secretly planning to destroy the site… by bitching in a private discord.  So yeah. Not excusing Anji's behavior, but happy to show y'all exactly how much worse it could be LMAO. 

[redisforhappy]

shigaraki x reader, part one.

inspired by "dangerously yours."

One night in early February I kicked myself out of my own house, brought out the boot and screamed "go find something better to do! Find a purpose to be here. You've flown yourself across the world to escape a life with no one here waiting for you.” The air got colder and colder with every step I took along the sidewalk. My jacket wasn't warm enough, my scarf wasn't wrapped tightly enough to hug my neck without letting air in. On winter nights, the wind has eager hands. I used to, too.

That night I ended up running into a somebody who was just as unhappy to see me as I was to see him, cloaked and masked like he usually was in those days.

"God forbid I have one peaceful night," I grumbled under my breath as I fiddled with the gun in my pocket. That one was for safe keepings, but I didn't exactly plan to ever use it. It's a last resort sort of thing- if I could, I liked to cuff people without inflicting any injuries. Tomura Shigaraki, however, is too smart to fall for a little hologram. I've never even tried to use my quirk on him.

"Who said we had to fight like dogs? I'm too sore for any of that right now," Tomura complained, swatting my armed hand away like it were nothing but a bug. Never had he ever acted so confident before. On a normal night, this boy would be shocked that anyone had the audacity to confront him like that and would end up offended and fuming like a child.

The soft spot I had for that villain was disgustingly pathetic. It put me in dangerous situations like laying on his bedroom floor while he tells me about the crap day he had, then we both swear not to tell anybody. I was 18 when I moved to Japan and started attending the famously distinguished University for Heroes, and I was 18 when I first met Tomura. I'm 19 now, him 21. We shouldn't keep meeting like this even if they're usually accidental. With the passing months we're both making names for ourselves that this strange relationship would be detrimental to. Instead of fighting we ended up sitting across from each other in an alley, pressing the bottoms of our shoes together. He discarded the hand mask and had it lay by me, closer than anyone had ever been to it. He trusts me too much.

"I've been training my body a lot lately," he told me, "it's been paying off, but it hurts so bad."

"Why?"

"It's supposed to hurt."

"Yeah but why have you been training more?"

"We've got something big coming," he smirked tauntingly, "really big. There's still some time, but I wanted to talk to you about it. You might want to get out of the city by the end of next month-"

The warning click of a gun I held against his head made him go completely silent and still. I held it rough against his forehead as he slowly looked up at me, trying to piece together how I'd gotten from point A to point B in just a moment. It's all I needed. All I needed was him to say something that would remind me who he was.

Tomura was the first to move, a smile spreading on his face. I pushed it harder against him, sure to leave a mark if not a bullet hole. He knew I wouldn't do it, and I think part of him wanted me to just to shock him.

"Don't be so cocky Tomura. This is it."

"No, it isn't." His white hair is glowing in the line of moonlight that could reach it, along with his eye. I'd known them to be red, but at the time his eyes looked silver. Maybe with tears. Maybe he was sad.

"It is. I won't let you hurt anybody else while I idly stand by knowing I could've done something. I'm a hero now, it's time I do my job."

"You won't do it. You love me." All I could do was laugh at his accusation, which he seemed taken aback by. His mouth opened to let the words out but they fell on the floor, and just for the added effect, I stomped on them.

"Love you? Get real, Tomura."

"We've spent so much time together. I was going to ask you to come with me when I have to le-"

"ENOUGH, TOMURA. I DO NOT LOVE YOU! I WILL NOT GO WITH YOU," I screamed in defense, curling my finger around the trigger and pointing it at his leg. It took strength but I pulled that trigger three fucking times before I started crying. He cried out in pain and latched his arms around my torso. I thought he was going to tackle me to the ground or dust me, but instead he pulled me onto him and screamed his agony into my shoulder.

"You do love me! You told me you did!" Tomura argued in sobs. It shattered my heart to lie to him, but I had to lie to him and myself if I wanted to save lives. If I wanted to put him behind bars.

Words wouldn't be enough to explain this to him. Not at the time. He wouldn't, couldn't, have understood my intentions or how they would help him at all. When I looked into his eyes, every single time, I saw the little boy with the dead family that he told me about when we stared at the stars above his home. That boy needed a doctor, not All for One. I'd give him a doctor, with a reason to see one.

"I'm turning you in tonight, Tomura," I whispered into his ear, though by the look of his scrunched up face I wasn't too sure if he could hear me. "But I will see you again. Please, just comply with the police. Don't be yourself. Be good, and polite. And you will be just fine." It was expected of him to fight me. I was waiting for him to shove me off of him and scramble away, but he had no Kurogiri at his beckon call. Nobody would come get him, so he certainly wouldn't get far.

"Promise?" he whispered back. I had to bite back a choked sob, because truthfully I had no idea if they would kill him the moment they got their hands on him. I wished for them to see what I see in him, but ultimately hoped they did what they thought best.

"I promise."

[canary0]

July 11th - Dracula 2023

The Personal Blog of Mina Murray

(A/N: Spoilers-ish for DD in August, sorta; there are deviations and similarities, but better safe than sorry if you want to avoid spoilers below the break.)

I’ve gotten some rest, spent some time with Jonathan, and had a chance to speak with the doctor. I’ll address each in turn, as they mostly flow into one another.

After visiting for a short while after I arrived last night, I had to rest elsewhere. It was difficult to sleep, knowing he was only a couple of blocks away. I went straight back in the early morning, and much to my gladness, he was awake. He still looked tired – infinitely tired, as if despite being safe, there was some weight he was still carrying around – and very thing and pale, but he smiled when he saw me and got up, carefully embracing me despite the IVs. He sat back down a few moments later and looked me over.

I noted that I had seen him wake up briefly last night, and that he had seemed unfocused. He told me, “I had a fever when I first arrived. I was somewhat aware you were there last night, but I thought I might have imagined you in how badly I wanted to see you.”

Despite the direness of the situation, that made me happy to hear, and I am glad he is doing well enough to stand, and his embrace has strength behind. As thin and exhausted as he looked, I worried. I assured him that I came as soon as I could after I got the call and packed. He said something odd, then – he mentioned that he was glad. It meant I was not in England. A very odd thing, as I would think after all this time, getting home would be a top priority. I asked him about it, and he said that, although Romania has, in most respects, been a kind and welcoming place to him, he wishes to be home. He is more concerned for me and our friends. He went silent when I asked why.

After a long while, he said that he wanted me to see for myself… to confirm what he’d seen from new eyes, in the light of day. He said there was a usb drive and a book of rail timetables in the lower cabinet of the side table, and that I should look through both. I promised him I would, and he gave the most wan smile I had ever seen on his face that was before full of determination.

I took the items in question out, but the doctor arrived before I could start perusing them. I rose to shake her hand, and I say with no exaggeration that I only came up to her shoulder, and I am not too short myself. She looked at Jonathan and I with the kindest eyes I had ever seen, though, and I couldn’t help but be put at ease. She first asked Jonathan how he was feeling that day while a nurse came in and drew some blood, and he responded that while he was tired, he was feeling a little better now. She gave a little laugh, and said, “No wonder, Mr. Harker. Good company brings comfort and healing, I think.” She flipped through his chart – printed, I noticed, rather than having a computer to access it near the bed.

She explained as kindly as she could that it’s impressive that he’s in as good a state as he is. Apparently his blood cell count in general is low, but recovering. The universal reduction in cells with normal plasma volume suggests to her that he was certainly in hypovolemic shock, or close to it, at some point in the recent past, some kind of serious blood loss. They couldn’t find any major wounds that would normally cause that, though. Jonathan’s expression was grim, and he simply nodded, letting her go on. She added that he came in with severe dehydration, exhaustion, and exposure, including cuts, scrapes, and bruises that would suggest someone who had traversed the wilderness unprepared. He nodded to that, too, but didn’t comment. She thinks he’ll be stable enough to head home in the next few days, though she emphasized how important making sure he gets plenty of iron, B vitamins, and vitamin C even after that, though, to support recovery from the lingering anemia. He should also be careful to protect himself from disease with the low white blood cell count – basically, pretend it’s still the pandemic for him. I was glad I had come in with a mask just in case.

She also mentioned that the hospital was approached for a DNA test. Apparently there were some disappearances near the town of Prundu Bârgăului, and they had recovered a few hairs from the scene, and there were reports matching Jonathan’s description. No fingerprints, though. I was shocked at the very idea, but Jonathan just grimly gave his permission to do any tests they needed. He didn’t seem surprised.

Eventually, she left, and I pulled Jonathan’s items out of them little cabinet. They were nearly the only things in there – I recognized the set of clothes that were in there, but there were no shoes and just the book and thumb drive. No phone, no computer, no charger or solar cells or his bag. Some old gold, though, which is an odd addition. I’m sure exploring what he wrote will shine light on everything today.

As I opened my laptop and plugged the thumb drive in, he took my hand and said, “Wilhelmina.” Ominous – he’s never called me by my full name almost since we met. “I wrote… a lot in there. My head’s turned around… I don’t know how much of it is real and how much is some wild fantasy I concocted to explain my experiences. Maybe the blood loss affected my mind. I’m tempted to ask you not to open it, to remain ignorant and allow me to remain so. But… I also value your insight. I think you might be able to determine the truth of it in a way I can’t. And I don’t want to conceal anything from you. So… please…”

I closed the laptop and kissed him. I told him, “Let’s wait out that test and get you home first. Give you some time to recover. I don’t like making you wait, but I think it might be easier if we do this together. It sounds like you’ve had a serious shock.”

He looked me in the eyes, and I couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under his. “Yes, that’s… yes.”

–

Thank god. The DNA results are back, and Jon wasn’t a match. Oddly, the local police seem to have left it at that. No one has mentioned coming in and taking statements. It’s like the DNA test was just confirming what they already thought – I wonder if Jon was never a real suspect?

Apparently the disappearances are just one of a long string, the three recent ones – two children, and the mother of one of them – are just the latest.

What’s going on out here?

(A/N: Oh man. With a modern combination of technology and attitude, this just couldn't be the same as August's stuff. Stuff's fresh in Jon's mind, and like I mentioned in another post, we're REALLY in the habit of sharing info these days. So much that it often doesn't occur to people not to.

It's also hard to imagine him keeping her in the dark for the reasons presented in the original book these days. It's not a 'woman heart so delicate' thing, but more of an 'I'm afraid to know and I know you'd have to tell me because it is important to share everything with each other' thing. That's part of why I love JonMina, but it just doesn't make sense these days.

Nor does the police totally doing nothing with multiple disappearances, but they're mostly just confirming that this is a Dracula thing. Dude's been feeding the ladies for a long-ass time, and this is undoubtedly just the latest thing. Most of the old-timers know he's out doing his thing, as I tried to establish early on.

These days I also didn't seem them getting married right as soon as they saw each other again. That also means cute wedding stuff at the Westenra place before The Horrors return.)