#my b day is in july but i have to think about these things early ok!!!!!! its like Halloween! i have to start on mu costume soon 😭

[robotpussy]

over the past 3 years my birthday present to myself has always been. photoshoot in my bedroom/living room

[maccreadysbaby]

Project: Killcode

batfamily + oc insert

tw: none :)

wanna read more? here’s the table of contents!

want to read the first fic in the hundred days series so you understand what’s going on here? here it is!

⚠️ HEY JUST SO YOU KNOW I DID A LITTLE COLLABY THINGY WITH ONE OF MY READERS AND THIS CHAPTER WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN COMPLETELY BY THE VERY TALENTED @skylathescholarly SO PLEASE GIVE HER LOTS OF LOVE AND A ROUND OF APPLAUSE

part twenty-five

❝ BIG BROTHER MATERIAL ❞

WEDNESDAY — JULY 25 — 5:10AM

Something was buzzing, and buzzing, and buzzing, and he couldn’t make it stop. Bentley groaned and turned over, but the buzzing only got louder. 

“Dude. Answer your phone.” Asten groaned, and Bentley realized that the buzzing was, in fact, his phone. He pulled it out from where it was hidden in his sheets, and blearily registered that Tim was calling. 

“Hello?” he said as he answered, stifling a yawn.

“Hey, little B. I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Tim’s voice said through the speaker, and Bentley immediately woke up more. 

“No-well yeah, but that’s okay.” Man, he kinda hadn’t realized how much he missed his brother. He felt a little silly, since it really hadn’t been that long, but whatever. 

“Okay. Well, I just called to tell you that I have a last minute WE trip to New York today. Is it okay if I pick you up after school to hang out, or are you busy? Or… you know, we can skip school. Bruce doesn't have to know." Tim said, and Bentley could actually hear the devious look on his face.

"That sounds awesome!" He said, and then paused. "Well, actually, I shouldn't skip school so early on. But yeah, after!" He also probably should stick around in case Bellamy needed help. But he was sure Koa would understand skipping practice to see Tim.

"Okay, dude, sounds good. I'll see you later, have fun in school!"

"Thanks, Tim." Bentley said, and hung up. School had been pretty hit or miss lately, with a majority of misses, but seeing Tim would help significantly.

The day was normal; obviously Varian took it easy a bit, but otherwise it was uneventful. Bellamy seemed to be getting the hang of things, and Bentley was glad. The little guy deserved some peace for once. He avoided Tyler and Chloe successfully, and waited with building excitement for the end of the day when Tim would pick him up.

After classes, he ran by his room to drop off his backpack and change out of his uniform, but then he ran out of the door. Asten followed more slowly; he wanted to say hi to Tim too, but had decided to stay back for the afternoon since he had a headache. (Or so he claimed.) Bentley had just shrugged it off. He didn't think Asten's day was as good as his had been, but he'd ask about it later.

As soon as he saw Tim waiting by the car, with his Wayne blue eyes dressed all nice for whatever work business he was attending, he jumped into his waiting arms.

"Tim!" he shouted, relishing the feeling of his brother's tight hugs.

"Hey baby bird, how's it going?" Tim said, grinning widely. Asten came up behind them and smiled. "Asten! Hey dude!" Tim greeted as he brought Asten in for a hug, too. "I'm sorry you've got a headache. Feel better, okay?"

(Had Asten talked to Tim separately?)

"Will do. You guys have fun!" Asten said, and left without much else.

"Is he doing okay?" Tim asked softly. Bentley thought for a moment, debating whether or not to tell Tim about… certain things.

"I think so." was what he decided on, but apparently Tim let it go, because he changed the subject to a funny story about Batcow while they drove to a coffeeshop nearby. Tim ordered a cortado, and Bentley got hot chocolate and a muffin. They sat specifically close to one of the windows (because Bentley liked to see New Yorkers pass by.)

"So how's schoool going? How are your roommates?" Tim asked.

"Good, so far." Bentley replied. Dr. Keene's brother is one of my teachers but that's fine and there's NO way I'm telling him that. "My roommates are all great!" Koa almost died the other day but also no way I'm explaining that. "I can't tell if the school part will be hard yet or not. But I do miss you guys." That was true. He hadn't really realized how true it was until now, either. Seeing Tim made his heart ache a little and he couldn’t exactly place why.

"We miss you too, little B. Bruce has been downright grumpy." Tim joked, a small laugh falling from his lips before he got serious. "How's anxiety stuff doing?"

"I had a pretty bad anxiety attack the other day…" Bentley said, not looking at Tim. He hadn't really planned on telling him about that, but, well…

"I'm sorry, buddy. Was anyone around to help?"

"Yeah, it was fine. Kinda embarrassing…"

"I get the feeling, but it's not your fault. You know that right?"

"Uh huh." Bentley was quiet a minute before speaking up again. "I'm having nightmares again.”

Tim was quiet, letting him go at his own pace. (Bentley didn’t see the strange look of alarm that passed over his features, nor did he see his expression shift like he was debating asking more questions.)

"It's probably just stress, and being in a new place, but… well. I dunno."

"You didn't tell Bruce about either of these things." Tim said, not accusatorily, just as an observation.

"I didn't… I didn't want him to think I couldn't do this." Bentley admitted. "I wanted to know I could do this. I mean, I have Asten, and all the guys are really great, and so are… well, most of the girls."

Tim chuckled at that, but nodded.

"I understand that feeling, Bentley. But remember that it's totally okay to ask for help, all right?" when Bentley nodded, Tim changed the subject to the latest exploits of Spoiler and Red Hood to aggravate Batman on patrol. The stories had Bentley giggling for an hour, until they moved on to Bentley again.

"So, I saw that there's a dance this week..." Tim said, and Bentley groaned.

"Don't remind me."

"Going with anyone?"

"I don't… know?" Bentley said. He was still confused about the whole thing. The only thing he knew for sure was that he did not want to go with Chloe. She made him feel weird. Tim laughed and shrugged.

"Well, I didn't go to any of mine, so don't feel bad if you really, really don't want to go. But I think you'd have fun if you did."

"Yeah… Maybe." Bentley said. Tim stood, and Bentley followed suit, carrying their dishes to the drop-off at the counter. As they walked out to the car, Tim threw an arm over Bentley's shoulder and pulled him close.

"You're gonna be great. I'm really happy this is an option for you and Asten. How are the powers coming along?"

"Okay." Bentley said, but then he smiled. "There's this kid in our room who's really anxious a lot of the time, and he sometimes can't sleep. The other night, I made these animals for him out of water and it was pretty cool. It helped him go to sleep, too. I think he liked it."

"Whoa, I should've known little B had big brother material! Runs in the family," Tim said with a wink. Bentley flushed.

"I don't know about that. But I did try to do what you all used to do with me." he admitted. Tim squeezed him closer.

"Well, I'm sure you're doing great. After all, you've got pretty good role models in Dick and Jason."

"And you." Bentley said.

"I don't know about-"

"No, really, Tim. He's really, really anxious. He's… he's a lot like I was when I first came to the Manor. Using what you taught me has been working really well."

"Well," Tim said quietly. "I'm glad, baby bird."

"I love you," Bentley whispered.

"I love you too."

--

tag list that never works lmao

@fleur-alise @sarcopterygiian @gayboss-too-close-to-the-sun

@xiaonothere

@skylathescholarly @flyrobinflyy

[annakie]

Fixing The House Part Eleven - Big Bang Room (B)

ICYMI, Part A was posted Yesterday. This is just a continuation of that post. Sorry about the split!

So when we last left off...

It's August, 2024

Turning things into a full house renovation took awhile, honestly we just kept adding one more littleish thing... but then OK one more big thing.

It had started in this room with just getting some lights put in. I think I said it before but here, in this front room, the ONLY LIGHTING was the ancient ceiling fan in the dining room and a single lamp on my desk.

So Arturo first put in the can lights with a dimmer switch, hell that was in late July.

Early August we made the deal for the new ceiling fan for free when he put in the can lights in the dining room, removed the ancient fan, and also I paid him to put in the ceiling fans in the bedrooms/living room.

It was real weird having light in here, especially when the windows went in.

IGNORE THE CHAOS, it's gonna get BETTER.

For awhile, I was trying to decide between replacing the old laminate from 2009 and getting new kitchen cabinet doors.

Both were in about the same state, still functional but with alot of problems. The cabinets wouldn't cost as much buuuuuttttttttt...

I'd settled on doing the floors, because in the hallway, at the intersection of the kitchen and living room/old office, that little bit is so heavily trafficked that the 10-year lifespan on the very cheap laminate had long expired and the planks were separating from each other. I wish I'd had taken a picture.

Also, a couple of times when the AC had frozen over, plus the AC problems that were detailed out way back in Part 5, water had seeped into those planks and they'd swollen and warped a bit, there was obvious damage and it had just gotten worse the previous month with all those problems.

So I decided to get new flooring over new cabinets*. (Remember this asterisk, we'll get back to it in like, two or three updates from now.)

Arturo had the HOOK UP to get me some high-quality flooring and a steep discount. Labor would cost about as much as the flooring itself.

Spent about a day mulling over my choices in flooring.

Decided on the greyish one right in the middle there.

I wanted something that would go with everything, and most of my house was done in colors from the "Neutral" section of my BFF, the Sherwin-Williams Color Swatch Book. I wasn't a huge fan of grey laminate before this, but honestly, I am now, at least this one.

After I picked it, Arturo turned and looked at me very seriously, then said "What are we going to do about this?" and pointed at...

See those paint splatters on The Thing? When my 2nd roommate lived here around 2004 the day I was painting the inside of The Thing yellow, her cat Felix somehow jumped into the paint pan, got paint over about 25% of himself, and then ran through the house before I could catch him.

I DID catch him, and spent the rest of the night bathing the paint off of him for like hours, until he stopped cooperating. I called pet poison control to make sure he wouldn't die. It took DAYS to get all the paint off him after it dried. He ended up fine! But the paint on The Thing had long since dried by the time I gt back to it. I didn't have any black paint at that point and would have to get some. Anyway, 20 years later, and the yellow splats were still there, a reminder of Felix. He was a good cat.

----

I mean, I already knew the answer to Arturo's question, no doubt, but the way he was looking at me was like "If you don't tell me we're knocking this abomination down then I'm going to be very mad at you."

"YES. GET RID OF IT, PLEASE!" I told him. "Quickly, get it out of my siiiiiiiiight!"

Well it took a little bit of time, we were in the middle of a lot of other things.

Then August 23rd came. Arturo showed up with a van full of flooring, a couple of boxes and a stack of newspapers. He brought 3 of his guys with him, a father and his two sons, and also his usual painter and apprentice, Janarie.

The four of them spent the morning emptying out my office and dining room around me while I worked at my desk. They took great care in wrapping up all my dishes in newspaper, not a single thing was harmed in the process. They moved all my furniture except my work desk and chair into either the garage or living room.

Cleaning out the garage halfway back in July was a lot of work but... such a great decision. Could not have done this without all the work I did back then. My dining room table did have to live on the patio for a couple of nights, but it came out of that experience fine.

I remembered what a pain in the ass it had been when I got new flooring back in 2009, so I took a few precautions like labeling the from and to for every wire in and out of my receiver/stereo system. Honestly I did quite a bit of work the day or two before they started, but had limited time.

I'd packed and moved all my RPG books from that bookshelf.

And...

Why was that one part of it smooth? We don't know. The bricks were whole there, they just like, started sanding them down then stopped for some reason, maybe? IT IS A MYSTERY.

Also, yeah, I really needed to dust, but dust was EVERYWHERE during the renovation all the time so I just let stuff pass. Especially putting in the new windows, they had to grind down some of the brick on a couple of the places so there was pink brick dust especially in the Living Room and Guest Room.

I had packed up The Thing and moved all its stuff to the Living Room.

The next day, August 23rd, like 21 years and 2 weeks after buying the house...

The shelves came off first. You can see the peach the wall originally was there on the side, that was the color the holes were before I painted them to match the DR walls. The top of the brick was also painted that peach. Which tells us that rather than knocking The Thing down, the shelves were a LATER ADDITION TO IT.

Why, just whyyyyy?

But the guys took such good care with knocking the Thing down. No debris went flying.

We'd left my desk still in the room as you'll see in a minute, and they were super careful to not let anything fly at it and hit it.

I just sat there and watched the guys work with a grin on my face the whole time. :D

Y'all.... look at that beautiful pile of BRICKS!

The first pic I took of the room... being ONE ROOM.

The guys took the bricks outside. One tiny little annoyance is that the city wouldn't haul bricks away, and honestly, fine. Some pickers came and took most of them, which is also great.

But like, there's still a few out by my curb and I've asked a couple of Arturo's guys to make sure they get hauled away and uh, they haven't yet.

Anyway,

It was super fun when the guys left that night and the cats came to investigate What's New?

They were both PERPLEXED at the lack of not only the stuff, but The Thing! They both ended up hanging out in the brand new empty space that night. :D

The next day, Arturo filled the empty space with cement.

We discussed what to do with the walls. Arturo said if we wanted to get rid of the paneling it'd delay things a bit and add on a cost to fix the walls and make them look good again. Or we could just patch up the newly exposed wall where the Thing was, and paint the paneling.

TBH, I'd spent the evening while the cats were enjoying the new space literally staring at the room for an hour or two deciding what to do.

We'd do this.

---

The flooring started going in, just right on top of the old flooring.

Yeah, I started to love it when I saw it come together.

I brought my laptop into the bedroom and worked while they did this. The electronics on my desk got unplugged and the desk moved to the Dining Room side while they put in the flooring on the Office side, then moved back.

A few other little improvements happened around this time, too.

I'd talked before about my lack of storage causing a clutter problem. One of those things as not having space for my small appliances, so they were either cluttering up the countertops or some were living on the dining room table. I took care of that problem.

The wood thing is my cat food storage area. It had been against another wall, but fit here well, that's where it lives now.

I also bought a new shoe rack for the entryway so they wouldn't just get kicked into a big pile, and I now drink like, a lot of protein shakes For Reasons, and they get stored on top of the rack, though I might let them live in the garage now that it's cooling down.

Also at this point decided to get rid of the green coat rack in the Dining room entryway, and the green shelf I'd put up had fallen down in the middle of the night after 20ish years of service and hadn't gotten put back up. It never would.

New stuff was bought.

Really, I made a decision early on in the process to start confronting all the Little Problems About My House that Made Life Suck a Little More, and either see if Arturo could fix them or find a way to fix them myself. And all of the things I just talked about were indicative of those Little Problems. I fixed the small appliance and shoe piles myself, and put up a nicer coat rack. A lot more Little Problems got foisted to Arturo for more skilled solutions required.

I ended up calling these my "Arturo, can we...?"s

Hilariously, the curtains had come down in order to paint the walls and not get in the way of the flooring going in. the curtains and rods were buried where I couldn't get to them, and new rods were going in ANYWAY. I realized when everyone left the night the flooring went in that my front windows were wide open to the world.

Luckily, we had lots of extra newspapers laying around.

Was literally like this for like 2 nights, haha. Eventually all the things here that need painting got painted.

---

The day after the new flooring went in, the room got painted.

I was really nervous about my color choices. The thing is that these colors had to work well with the darker wood of my furniture, the copper dishes and such I had, and the pink that the office was painted, which we're about to get to.

As soon as I saw the colors together, I knew I'd done well.

Rainwashed on top. Underseas on bottom. Blue-ish greens with water themed names.

Painting was still in progress at this point, but honestly every time I turned around and looked at this, my breath was taken away.

It was so different. So light. So fresh.

SO NICE.

When Arturo got there later that day he walked in and was like "You know, I thought maybe we were making a mistake not getting rid of the paneling, but this was the right decision. This is really nice."

I thought so, too.

It's so BRIGHT in here. Not dark and muted at all. Windows that light get through. Overhead light that works. Bright colors.

I already loved it so much.

The other half of the room....

OK look, before I'd decided on the flooring, Arturo had had Janarie re-paint the pink of the room. We'd fixed the wall with the weird line and had painted it, then finished the repaint like a week prior to this. Same pink.

We'd also repainted the "Star Wars Poster" wall, the one that had been the Blue-Silver (Silver Trophy) color in here that day. This pic was taken before the office flooring was finished, you can see way at the end there, and the Silver Trophy is still on the wall on the right. So at first I thought we'd just paint the walls that had been yellow to the new greens.

As soon as I saw the green next to the Silver Trophy, I asked them to keep painting.

But I really loved the pink in the office half, and despite Arturo near-begging me to paint it green (Rainwashed), for a few days I told him no.

But then, every time I looked at this, or even more so at the reverse angle with it green on one side of the door and pink on the other, which was the view every time you walked down the hallway... my stomach churned. Yeah, it didn't look good.

But also I wanted my pink.

A day or two later, I made a decision.

A compromise. I look at that wall (and now out that window) all day. I'd keep my one pink wall, everything else went Rainwashed.

A controversial decision, and I don't think Arturo will ever QUITE be over still having that wall pink, he's still hinted at me we could paint it Rainwashed still... but nah. It's how I want it. :)

---

It took a few days to get everything back into the room, and that was partially because I took the time to declutter as we went.

Some stuff I set aside for friends who could use it. A lot of stuff got left out on the curb and taken by someone before trash day. And every week the city large / overflow trash truck has stopped and hauled extra junk and/or construction materials away for the last several weeks.

And also, this space also just became the Project and Storage Room.

Sometimes there were so many boxes in this space that walking through it was a maze.

What IS that huge Box Fry is on, anyway?

We'll get back to that in a post or three.

---

This is FINE. I could live like this a couple of weeks. New coatrack went up (I did it myself!), new floating shelves. The three china cabinets rearranged to new positions without having a stupid Thing to work around. The little hutch covered up the old Thing wall. Arturo did a good job, put paneling all the way to the door, and patched the wall. He had to use a different little rail at the top of the paneling, for some reason he couldn't find an exact match to the 60 year old trim that was there? Huh. You can still tell a little that something is wonky there, but you absolutely CAN'T with a hutch covering the spot! More on that later.

On the reverse angle, I put the nice speakers my dad gave me up on shelves on the wall, out of the way. The bookshelf got sorted through and a bunch of trashy novels got tossed out of it. Some I didn't watch anymore, plus a few box sets of TV shows got put into a new CD wallet and their cases tossed to save space.

My D&D 3.0, 3.5 and 4e books got moved into the big bookcase. so my more modern-era gaming books could be on the main gaming bookcase.

Ah yes, so much cool gaming stuff. So little of it have I used for gaming.

And as you can see, a new little media shelf and the stuff from the Thing got moved here. I think Arturo hated this too, haha, but it's my stuff and I want it out where I can appreciate it. Every one of those stuffed animals was given to me by someone special, every knick knack also given to me by someone I'd want to remember or has a significance attached to it. And of course, pictures of my family.

The surge-protected plug on its own circuit that my PC and work laptop are plugged into are behind there, which is why there's wires coming out at the bottom center, a hole was cut in the backing so the shelf could be pretty flush with the wall.

And... what is that on the very bottom left corner?

Yeah... I kept one brick of The Thing, to remind me always of what was and what never shall be again.

---

TRIM TALK TIME!

Now, let's talk about the world's most exciting topic... the trim going throughout my house. YEEEAAAAAH! Time for TRIM TALK. You can see a bit of it in the pic above! And if you scroll up to the empty room but my desk pic a few pics above that! And in lots of other pics in the last couple of posts!! TRIM TALK TIME.

OK so when the new flooring in went in here, near the end of the day Arturo was all "You need to pick some trim, I have time to go pick it up before the end of the day."

It was like 3pm on a workday, I had shit to do for work and it'd been the kind of day where I'd had to make a ton of other choices. Remember that every day it wasn't JUST one room that got worked on, lots of rooms were being worked on at the same time, so like that day also I think the master bedroom got painted, I'd had to make some big choices for the kitchen, and I'd been picking out the yellows for the guest room.

My brain was tired of making choices.

I pulled up either the Lowe's or Home Depot website and searched for flooring trim and filtered for what was in stock at the one near me and still saw a shitton of options. My brain short circuited as I stared at the first page.

"Arturo, I do not care about the trim," I turned to him and said. "Can you just pick out something inexpensive that you think would look decent? It doesn't have to be fancy, just not ugly."

Y'all, Arturo and I built a trust really early on. I'd said awhile ago I liked him immediately. And I very quickly trusted his taste. There were several things that I thought I wanted one way and he talked me into doing it another way and in the end, he was right. Like painting most of the room Rainwashed. He was right. There were a couple of color choices he nudged me on and I agreed when it was done. He wouldn't be a dick about it if I made a choice that he didn't agree with, it's my house after all, but also he's been doing this a long time and does a lot of house flips for some of his other clients and knows what he's talking about.

I consulted him and his taste with most everything, and there were some things, like the pink wall, where he knew to just say "not what I would do but it's your decision." and some things he gave me nudges at. It was a great working relationship.

So yeah, I don't give a shit about trim, Arturo. I'm tired. You do it.

He came back either later that day or the next time he was here with this trim and at first I was like woah, that's HUGE trim, but he was like "Trust me."

A few hours later the hallway and then the Dining Room/Office were done and... holy crap it looked GREAT.

The last couple of times I'd gotten new flooring, the company I used just put in the smallest, thinnest, cheapest trim possible. One just used quarter round after putting the trim that was already there back. I didn't care, to me, trim was a non-issue. You barely notice it.

But as soon as I saw the trim Arturo picked out and put in I. FREAKING. LOVED. IT.

After looking at it for like a day I asked him how much it would be to put it in the rest of the house, the ENTIRE HOUSE. Get rid of the old shit, give me THAT. It just subtly elevated the room in a way I didn't expect at all.

So yes, every room has the new trim and all the time I see it and am like "Man, that looks great!"

As the trim went in, Arturo asked me about what color to paint it. At this point I was like "Oh, well, I like the Navajo White cream color that all my trim and doors is painted, just do that again."

Arturo made a face at me, and asked if I was sure, and I was like "Yeah, I like it."

So he went and got one gallon of the special kind of paint for trim and windowsills and stuff.

The next day, his guy Jorge as here to paint the trim. It had come white but Arturo said we wanted a layer of paint on it for protection. So Jorge started painting the hallway trim while I was working. An hour or two later I walked down the hall and was like uhhhh.... he's painting it white? What happened to my cream?

I called Arturo, and told him it was the wrong color, and Arturo called Jorge and pointed him to the right paint. So Jorge had to start painting the hallway a second time.

In the next hour or so, Arturo got here and then went to work in the master bath. A little while later I went to ask him a question and walked down the hall....

....annnnnnnd.... oh shit. The trim WAS now the right color, the creamy white...

...and it looked like shit.

Like just absolutely terrible. Gross. Weird.

It was exactly what I asked for and it was BAD and Arturo was RIGHT.

So I went and got Arturo and we looked at it together and I was like "I hate it."

"I do too."

"So uh......."

"Jorge's going to repaint it white again, yes?"

"Jorge, por favor no muerta me, lo muy, muy siento."

Jorge did look a little bit like he did want to kill me but we also laughed about it.

So for the THIRD TIME that day... Jorge repainted the hallway, white this time.

And then Arturo and I discussed money for repainting every bit of trim, and door, and anything else white. (Except the ceiling.)

And that is how everything is now white in my house once again. And how unless it was something I felt really strongly about, I came to trust Arturo's opinion on pretty much everything.

(The only exception to the white was the Master Bathroom, which we talked about already. Also I should mention that Arturo re-repainted the windowsill and inside of the window hole the Navajo White cream without me asking when he saw it and realized he hadn't told Janarie to NOT paint that after I'd painted it myself, lol. So all is back to being right in the master bath.)

---

Knocking on My Front Door

Yeah so the front door was super ugly, as discussed. Pretty early on a new front door was on the docket. Arturo got the door from the main place he got the windows, but when he went to get the front and side windows he didn't make it there until they were almost closing, and so he just snapped a few pictures of doors for me to decide on.

I picked one the next day, but he didn't make it back to the door and window place for a month or so. I was real anxious for the new front door. I had the hardware and smartlock all picked out and ready to go for weeks.

When it got here, I loved it immediately. We had to swap the door to open on the other side since they didn't have the side I had used before in stock, which I was annoyed about until the door got put in and then immediately I realized I liked it better on the left side anyway.

It's SO pretty. It came white but we painted it the same white as the trim for perfect matching.

The glass is triple-paned, one on either side of the star. The star felt like a subtle touch of Texas flair, the only nod to state pride in my house at this point, purposefully. You can see outside and thus inside in a distorted way through the glass so I now have some curtains on the window with a magnetic curtain rod that match the new curtains on the other windows. It's open during the day for more light getting in, and they get closed at night.

Security has been another area the house has had major upgrades. That triple paned glass would be a real pain to get through but not impossible. But it'd be annoying to reach through to unlock the door. I have plans for reinforcing the glass both on the windows and the door even more.

So there's two deadbolts, one of which is a Smart Lock on the door. I also have a doorstop you can see that goes on the door every night.

The door also got Door Armor, which is plates that go over the hinges installed with very long and thick screws, and another very long and tough strike plate on the other side, also reinforced with those really long and tough screws. Makes doors pretty kick-in proof.

Past that, another post I have planned is for general Outside Improvements, including the patio, fence and the other stuff that happened out front.

I love, love, love the new door. The old screen door from the 60s came off, and a Future Plan is a new glass screen door, but the money has run out so that's a thing for the future. This is still a massive security improvement over the old wood door that had a window which already been punched through at least once.

-----

Couple of other changes.

The green hutch was like, definitely not the right color for this room anymore, so the boxes of my copper dishes sat in the dining room for a few days until I decided what to do with the hutch. I had several ideas on what to paint it, or if I'd just leave it but I knew that would just needle me. Was maybe going to do it white, but that felt like too much white in this room. It was already against a wall with Underseas so I didn't want to add MORE of that color and it didn't feel right for the copper dishes. I thought maybe a grey, but I spent like an hour looking at 49 shades of gray (ha ha) and couldn't pick one I liked well enough.

Finally I went to the Sherwin-Williams website to see what IT thought would look good with Underseas & Rainwashed and both said that this other color, Window Pane would be compatible with each. Honestly, seemed like an even lighter shade of Underseas. Screw it, I decided. I'd get it.

I just went to Sherwin-Williams myself for the first time instead of Arturo going, this was my project. But I did use his account to get the contractor discount on the paint (especially when they tried to sell me a $150 gallon of paint first... lol no. Arturo had told me a gallon was like $30.)

I still paid almost $40 for the gallon and Arturo was annoyed i didn't call him to make sure I got the paint he wanted me to get (but it was like 6pm when I went and I tried really hard to not bug him off-hours, I'm not that kind of client!). I painted the hutch myself the first time and I did it on my own this time, too.

Arturo, Janarie and I all agreed, this color was perfect and the copper dishes look amazing with it. Blends into the room so well while still being a little different than the existing colors, a really nice bridge.

I also painted the little console table that's under the Star Wars poster Underseas. The table itself was looking pretty rough, and I think that also bridges the paneling color into the rest of the dining room well.

I am planning on painting the low-rise RPG bookshelf either Underseas or Window Pane (Probably Underseas) as well, since it's a light color wood and doesn't fit in with all the dark color wood I have. Just haven't gotten to it yet. The paint is on the table still. Maybe next weekend.

---

So I'd been planning on posting this tonight because Arturo was supposed to come today and make another couple of small improvements. This is literally the last day he's coming (FOR NOW!) to do the last few bits. When I save back up some money things like that new front screen door and a full ceiling repaint are going to happen.

But stuff happens and Arturo can't come til next week, which is also fine, nothing left is urgent. He has other clients that he makes more money on than me and are way more demanding than me. If I was a jerk I could have hounded him more to get things done faster, normally people were only here working 2 to 4 days every week (including Saturdays but never Sundays), but honestly I liked having 3 or 4 days a week to myself to get work done at work, do my own projects, get the house back in order, and just, you know, rest.

He found a second ceiling fan just like the one he put in the dining room so he's giving it to me (and I'm paying for the install!) so the room is more balanced. There's a few small projects left for him and a few for me and I'm still using the dining room table as the staging area. And my desk is always a bit messy, sorry not sorry. So these pictures below are of the whole thing, and they're from today, but there's still a bit of clutter, as you'll see. But this post is gargantuan, so let's wrap it up. :D

Whew! That's 30 pictures in this post! I wanted to post one or two more gratuitous cat pics but there's no space! Maybe later.

The floating shelves became my little area for tribute to my pets. The picture frame has pics of them all, from my childhood cat Target, to my first cat on my own Sampo, my dog Cebu, My black beauties Jim and Leela, one of my white calico Patchy, and my remaining two, Fry and Pemily. there's one empty slot for a picture of Jim and Leela that printed badly I need to reprint. Sampo, Cebu, Jim and Leela's ashes are all on the floating shelves. Patchy is in the master bedroom where she belongs.

So yeah, still a fan to add over the desk, and if you look way over by the coat rack, there's some wall patching to be done. I need to do something better with the stuff on top of the secretary. Pics of my Niblings on the now-Underseas console table have been blurred on purpose.

This space started as a cramped, dark and divided with the ugliest room divider ever to exist, with old dirty windows and no lighting at all. I never opened the curtains because I didn't want to look at those windows. I was just... kind of ashamed of it all, even if the dining room was... decent... when a bunch of stuff wasn't piled on top of the dining room table.

It's now this big, bright, light space that feels so welcoming and happy. The curtains get opened every morning and stay open until it starts to get dark. I'm excited for people to see it. And in a week or two went the rest of the little projects get finished, the table will be empty, or at least decorated appropriately.

(The dining room chairs have been a bit destroyed by the cats over the last 20 years. That's something to work on fixing in the future when money has recovered, tbh. But I can live with it, for now.)

As far as quality of life improvements go, this and the master bath are the big ones, with the hall bath in third. But none of them are still yet my favorite place in the house now. We'll get to that, eventually.

---

Gonna be a few days til my next update, busy end of week and weekend ahead, but I can't wait to show off the rest!

[shannendoherty-fans]

Charmed Cast Honors Shannen Doherty at 90s Con: 'She Had the Heart of a Lion'

On July 13, Doherty died at age 53 after years of living with cancer

By Esther Kang and Kate Hogan Published on September 14, 2024 07:48PM EDT

The cast of Charmed is paying a special tribute to Shannen Doherty.

On Saturday, Sept. 14, Holly Marie Combs, Brian Krause, Rose McGowan, Dorian Gregory and Drew Fuller honored their late costar with a special live episode of their podcast, House of Halliwell, with guest Brian Austin Green.

"This sucks," Green, 51, said. "Shannen was f---ing tough. She was tough. I think of all the people in my life she was the one that just unapologetically was Shannen. I can see how it would be perceived by some people as brash, 'She's a b----' they used to say early on which drove me nuts. I knew that she had the biggest heart of everyone I knew, and she never intentionally set out to hurt anyone ... she just truly believed in what it is she believed."

Doherty herself had set up the podcast recording at 90s Con, which she was initially slated to attend. Speaking to PEOPLE on the red carpet on Friday afternoon, Fuller, 44, said the cast had instead flipped the moment into a celebration of life.

Sharing his memories, costar Gregory, 53, spoke to the ways Doherty was often "sharing joy."

"The beauty and vibrancy of this woman, that's something I have no words for," he said. "She leaves us with this: cherish every second of everyone you're surrounded by and you love. That's such a gift."

McGowan spoke to Doherty's fierce love for her fans, noting she had the "heart of a g------ lion."

"What a powerhouse," McGowan, 51, said, remembering their first meeting. "Seeing how she navigated — and how I've had to navigate — when people smear your reputation and create this box you can't f---ing get out of and it's not at all who you are. I can't prove it to people. What Shannen did for me, which was so incredible to watch, she kept engaging with people, she kept going forward."

Combs, 50, added a particularly personal anecdote.

"Someone close to me was just diagnosed … and I reach for the phone," she said.

Dozens of audience members came forward to share their memories of the star, too, speaking to her sweet disposition, how well she'd listen to the stories they shared with her and how she inspired them.

On July 13, Doherty died after years of living with cancer. She was 53.

"It is with a heavy heart that I confirm the passing of actress Shannen Doherty. On Saturday, July 13, she lost her battle with cancer after many years of fighting the disease," Doherty's longtime publicist Leslie Sloane confirmed in an exclusive statement to PEOPLE on Sunday, July 14.

"The devoted daughter, sister, aunt and friend was surrounded by her loved ones as well as her dog, Bowie. The family asks for their privacy at this time so they can grieve in peace," Sloane concluded

The Beverly Hills, 90210 star was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015 and spoke candidly to PEOPLE in November 2023 about her stage 4 breast cancer, which had by then spread to her bones, saying that she didn't "want to die."

“I’m not done with living. I’m not done with loving. I’m not done with creating. I’m not done with hopefully changing things for the better,” she told PEOPLE. "I’m just not — I’m not done.”

Following her March 2015 diagnosis, the actress revealed just over two years later in April 2017 that she had gone into remission, however, by 2019, the cancer returned. Doherty announced her diagnosis of metastatic stage 4 cancer publicly in 2020. Then, in June of 2023, the actress shared that the cancer had spread to her brain and that she had undergone surgery.

Earlier in the day at 90s Con on Sept. 14, the cast of Beverly Hills, 90210 also got together and remembered Doherty.

"I have a friend right now who is really sick with cancer, and she said that Shannen really inspired her," costar Gabrielle Carteris said. "I think that her legacy is truly making a difference for those who are struggling to know that there’s hope."

90s Con Florida is occurring through Sunday, Sept. 15, at the Ocean Center in Daytona Beach, Fla.

[billyharringson]

My 2023 in fics

Thank you @lorifragolina for tagging me. I know you tagged my main account @jad3w1ngs but as all my fics were Stranger Things this year I'm going to do it here.

I'm going to only talk about fics that I either started or finished during the month as I've written an awful lot this year and it was very hard to pick faves.

January

I'm choosing my current ongoing Byergrove fic 'Take a picture, it'll last longer' that I started on New Year's day last year. I've loved writing such an angst heavy fic and exploring the trauma that might occur from what Billy went through at the beginning of this fic. Also Jon is the best boy in this and he's so soft (which is quite a departure to how I seem to normally write him).

February

For Feb I have possibly my favourite Mungrove one-shot that I've ever written. 'It means to lie beneath' was a Billy Hargrove Bingo fill and definitely something that is on my list to expand into a full fic (just as soon as I finish some of my other series). It was really fun writing a Succubus/Incubus fic and I can't wait to further explore the world I built.

March

Considering that this is my biggest fic and also the one that really got me into this fandom I have to shout out my Harringrove fic 'To submit is such sweet pleasure'. My first foray into A/B/O and I just love these boys together in this fic.

April

This is possibly my least read fic but one that definitely holds a special place in my heart. My first submission for Mungrove week, 'Ghost' was my chance to try a good old fashioned song fic and practice some more poetic writing.

May

'Swapping more than clothes' was the Stoner Polycule fic that I finished in May and was also a Billy Hargrove Bingo fill. Really enjoyed writing each of the boys dynamics in this and of course having some straight up smut where Billy gets railed by multiple partners is always good.

June

I can't believe I only started 'Forged' in June. I love, love, love this fic and can't wait to actually get to the point where I introduce Eddie (or Edeval as he is in this) as a character. For a Mungrove fic of mine it is quite funny that we're nearly on chapter 6 and he's still not appeared.

July

Another fic I'm obsessed with writing, 'Chokehold' is my darker Stoner Polycule fic. We're still early days with this one (considering it's chapter 5 on what is at least a 19 chapter fic) but I think about this fic almost daily.

August

Wow, I finished 'The Stolen Sapphire' all the way back in August? That feels so long ago. My pirate Harringroveson fic that was such a pleasure to write and so many people seemed to love, I can't not put it here.

September

I was struggling between 2 of the Mungrove fics I wrote in September but considering the sheer number of times I've re-read 'Knock Once' that's got to be the one I go for. Pure smut with my best two boys, and also the beginning of my realisation that this might just be my ride or die ship for ST.

October

I just have to include one of my Harringrove kinktober fics for this month so I'm going with 'Wanna see what's under that attitude' because it's chock full of all the kinks, and Billy in lingerie is always a pleasure.

November

Another fic that I personally feel went a little under the radar but one that I love nonetheless is 'little and broken, but still good'. My first attempt at writing one of the boys as a dad and I just adore Eddie's daughter Chrissy. Also kindergarten teacher Billy is something I need to write more of. Needless to say this is another Mungrove fic and was one of my last fills for the Billy Hargrove Bingo.

December

I've only just started this one, and I had planned on it being a short fic but I've gone a bit ham with the world building so we're in for a longer ride. Anyway, 'To keep good company' my historical A/B/O Harringrove fic is actually going to be my first attempt at some proper slow burn (although is it slow burn if they're already mated?)

This was a lot of fun, and very nice to look back at all that I've accomplished in 2023.

My absolutely no pressure tags are for @shieldofiron @weird-an @ihni and anyone else who wants to join in 😄

[invisibleraven]

Imagine your OTP where Persons A + B always fight with each other, but they have a common friend and they both plan a surprise party for Person C’s birthday. + if they find out about the other party and try to sabotage them ++ if they have to cooperate eventually

- Luke and Carrie for Julie? It could be platonic/romantic/whatever

“So Ju Ju, what do you wanna do for your birthday?” Carrie asked over lunch one day.

Julie shrugged as she munched on an apple slice-swatting Luke’s hand away when he tried to steal one. “Wasn’t really planning on much, it’s not like it’s a big one.”

“It’s still your birthday boss,” Luke interjected. “Maybe we want to celebrate you.”

“I’m really fine not doing anything,” Julie insisted. “Subject closed. Now, did either of you make any progress in our Economics project?”

“I got the bibliography started,” Luke said sheepishly. “Then I got distracted…”

“By a song right?” Carrie scoffed. “Honestly Patterson, you need to get your head out of your songbook and crack a text book for once.”

“Hey I’m passing everything!”

“Oh yes, stellar academic achievement there,” Carrie snarked.

Luke was about to argue back when Julie started rubbing her temples. “Can you two not argue for once? Please? For me?”

The two of them grumbled but agreed, remaining as civil as they could for the rest of the lunch period, then heading off to their classes.

But both Luke and Carrie kept coming back to Julie’s lack of plans for her birthday. And came to the same, separate conclusion.

“I’m going to throw her a surprise party!”

Carrie went all in, finding caterers who would accommodate Julie’s love of Puerto Rican food, her own veganism, and the various allergies and restrictions of the rest of their friend group.

Luke figured that food was easy-just ask everyone to bring something. He’d tap in Tia Victoria for some of Julie’s favourites, but otherwise a potluck seemed the way to go.

Carrie decided a DJ was the best choice for music-even though everyone she knew was musically inclined, she wanted them to enjoy the party instead of performing through it.

Luke lived and breathed music, so he knew he and the guys could handle the music for the party. Plus maybe get a karaoke machine so everyone could just go to town on whatever song they wanted? Plus it would give him a chance to debut the new song he wrote just for Julie.

“Reggie!” Carrie flounced over to him, handing him the embossed invitations she had made. “I have a job for you.”

“Sure thing Care Bear, what can I do for my favourite Candi?” he replied with that easy going smile of his. She explained how she wanted him to bring Julie to the party, but not let her show up too early.

“I mean I can, but I kinda already agreed to do that for Luke for his party,” Reggie said, rubbing the back of his neck. “You two might need to coordinate.”

Carrie wasn’t sure if her shriek was internal or not, but she was sure the look on her face conveyed it well enough. Thoughts flooded her mind about sabotage, but no, she was above that.

However she didn’t think Luke would be-so she swallowed her pride and marched up to him. “You need to cancel your party for Julie.”

“I need to do no such thing,” Luke replied, crossing his (stupidly impressive) arms.

Carrie hugged a little, resisting the urge to stomp her foot like she did with her dad as a child. “Look I’m sure you planned some basic soirée, but I have put time and effort into planning an excellent party for Julie. A superior party. So obviously mine should be the one that goes ahead.”

“Basic?” Luke fumed. “Sure it’s not fancy like whatever stuffy affair you have planned, but it’s full of stuff I know Julie will enjoy! Plus as her boyfriend, I take precedence!”

“So somehow that outranks me as her girlfriend?” Carrie asked, eyes slotted as she stared him down.

He shrank at that. Julie had told him that she cared for them both, and they agreed (albeit grudgingly) to share. Because she had told him they were equal and if they didn’t like it, she would be done with them both.

“Fine, maybe we can do both?” Luke suggested. “Or smush them together?”

“Fine,” Carrie replied with an eye roll. “My place after school. We’re going to have to work together.”

“Believe me I’m dreading it as much as you are,” Luke grumped.

In the end they managed to reach a compromise-Luke kept the potluck and the karaoke, Carrie kept the venue and DJ, plus the fancy cake she had ordered because even Luke admitted that beat his idea to bake it himself.

Julie was thrilled with the party-praising them both for organizing it, and for working together to make it so special, even after she insisted that she didn’t need a big celebration for her birthday.

She just kept it to herself that she hated surprise parties.

[swissboyhisch]

That Scar Hurt By The Way

Pairing: Nikita Zadorov x Reader

Summary: In a world where everyone has a soulmate link, you happened to luck out with a pain link.

Word Count: 1424

Warnings: None I think. It is an AU though.

Request: From ANON I need soulmate and or were! fics so bad any player!😍😍🥞🥞

THE MASTERLIST JOIN THE TAGLIST HOCKEY DISCORD

Soulmates. A term used to describe two people who were meant to be with each other. Can be used platonically but more common when referring to romantic relationships.

No-one knows when it began but these days, people were born with a link to their soulmate. There were different links you could have. Marks shared by the two. Person A draws on themselves and it appears on person B. One is singing/listening to a song and the other can hear it. Some have a measure of how much danger their partner is in. 

You were born with the pain sharing and matching scars link. Growing up, you’d have random bruises popping up on your body. At random points through the years, you’d feel bursts of pain before the bruises arose. They became more frequent in your later teens and early adulthood. And more painful.

There was one instance in particular that you vividly remember. 7th of November 2019. You were going about your day, teaching one of your grade 10 classes, when you felt something hit you in the face. Your hands flew to your lip. The pain was extensive. 

“Miss!” One of the girls shouted as the class watched you hunch over.

“Are you okay?” 

You worked up the courage to pull your hands away from your jaw. Blood. And a lot of it. “I–” 

“I’m going to get Miss Allen.”

Julie, one of your students, helped you to your desk and handed you the trash can. The pain became too much. Vomiting despite trying to hold it in. Your students whisper, worried about you. The sound of heels rushing to your class made you groan. 

“Okay guys,” Lily, your colleague and close friend, called. She clapped her hands to gain the class’ attention. “Can you please make your way next door to Mrs. Harrison’s class. She knows you are coming. Hurry please.”

Lily made her way over to you, towel in hand. You looked up at her. “Hi.”

“Hey, you look like you took a puck to the face,” She jokes.

You hold the towel to your face wound and give her a glare. “Thanks.”

“Let’s get you to the hospital,” Lily states. “I have Hayley covering my class. And Nick is coming to pick up your class.”

15 stitches later and some strong medication helped you push through. That’s the day that won't leave your mind. You now have a permanent scar over your chin and lip that you try to cover daily. Makeup has become your best friend. Since then you have struggled with your self image. Men would cringe away, disgusted, when they saw the scar. 

Despite your quite obvious soulmate link, it was years after that event that you had met him. Nikita Zadorov. A Russian NHL defenseman for the Calgary Flames. Six foot five. Brown hair. Chocolate brown eyes. 

You moved to Canada to teach recently. Better pay. Calgary to be precise. And one day at the end of the school year, you had to cover for a PE class. You were told it was going to be an easy cover since there were a couple guests coming to talk to the grade 10 group. A couple of hockey players. Sure, you had watched hockey but not to a crazy extent. The class though… excitement. It was all they have been talking about for weeks. God forbid having these students after this period.

“I have your guests here,” One of the office ladies called as she entered the gym. 

In walked three guys wearing Calgary Flames merch. You smile, offering your hand and name. 

“Tyler Toffoli.”

“Jacob Markstrom.”

Then he stepped forward. I mean it was hard not to notice him. But the first thing that caught your eye was the scar on his jaw. One that happened to match yours. “Nikita Zadorov.”

“Hi…” Before you could shake his hand or say anything else the students started coming in. “Guys come sit down and you’ll get to talk to them at the end of class.”

“And signatures?” One of the boys asked. 

“Yes. And signatures.”

You got to sit at the back watching over the students and observing. You needed to find out more about the tall defenseman. Without you noticing either, Zadorov kept glancing at you. The class finally got to question time where they were firing off all types of questions, about hockey, about the team. But one piqued your interest.

“How did you get that scar?” One of the students asked Zadorov.

The man chuckled, “I got a puck to the face back at the start of the 2019-2020 season.”

Thanks to his words, you were thrown back into that memory. The pain. The healing process. You were basically 100% sure he was your soulmate. But there was one way of confirming it. Pain. A pinch to your arm. Nothing too extreme but it was enough to make him jump in surprise. One that you noticed.

The bell rang, indicating the end of the period and the start of lunch. The students finally left, and you went forward to thank them for coming in. They were staying for the last period to talk to another class, but you wouldn’t be covering. 

“Thank you for today. The kids loved it,” You hummed. “It was an honour.”

“I don’t want to be annoying, but do you have a scar on your lip?” Toffoli asked.

It caught you out. Too nervous to say anything. “I mean yeah, I got it years ago. Puck to the face. You know the drill.” You didn’t mean to say the puck bit, but you couldn’t think of any other excuse. Bloody Lily and her joke. 

“Same as me,” Zadorov smiled.

“Yeah…”

“Soulmates,” Markstrom grinned.

Zadorov pinches himself without you realising. You didn’t jump but you rubbed where he pinched. “You are my soulmate.”

“I think so… That scar hurt by the way.”

Neither of you could believe it. Your soulmate. 

“Can I see it?” Zadorov asked shyly. He remembered how badly it hurt. To know you also felt it. God that hurt him more than the actual injury. “The scar I mean.”

You guided him to your class where you could have the conversation in private. The other two dropped off at the staff room for some lunch. You sat down at your desk and pulled out your makeup wipes. Using your phone camera as a mirror, you wiped off your makeup covering the scar.

“May I?”

After agreeing, Zadorov’s hand comes to cup your jaw. Sparks filled your bodies, the soulmate touch. So gentle. Lightly ghosting your skin. His thumb grazed the scar. The dented lines across your lips and down your chin. One scar matching his.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, feeling his heart break once more.

When it first happened, he was aware that his soulmate was experiencing this at the same time. The pain accelerated because of this knowledge. Every time he looked in the mirror, he imagined what it would look like on another person. His soulmate. But to finally see it on them, the pain returned. He did this to you.

You smile softly, “It’s okay.”

“15 stitches,” he muttered.

“7th November 2019.”

Zadorov, still cupping your jaw, leaned in. Pressing his forehead to yours. “Tell me about it.”

“I was teaching back in Anchorage. End of the day. A grade 10 class. They’re probably scarred for life. Just feeling that sudden pain, hunching over covering my lip and jaw. But that pain had me vomiting. My friend had to take me to hospital. She even made a joke that it was like I took a puck to the face.”

“Well, you did,” Zadorov offers, “Kind of, anyway.”

Your class door opened and there stood your favourite colleague with Toffoli and Markstrom behind her. “When they said Zadorov had met his soulmate and it was the PE teacher, was a little shocked thinking it was Mr. Paulson for a hot sec.”

“Yes Big Z,” Toffoli grinned, messing with the defenseman’s hair. 

Zadorov pushed his teammate away with a roll of his eyes. “Leave us alone.”

“Can’t do sadly, bell is about to go so we have to head to the gym.”

You got an expectant look which made you shake your head. “I’m not covering for the next class. I have one of my own.”

“Can I see you after?” Zadorov asked.

“I hope you’d want to,” You laugh.

“Out of all the soulmate links to have, we have this. But I’m thankful it’s you.”

TAG LIST:

@findapenny @mp0625 @hischierhaze @11zegras @lvrzegras @francesfarhadi @cixrosie @daisysthings

[applexxpop]

Welcome home ship thoughts

Home is not included

Wally Darling

Wally x Barnaby 9/10- LOVE IT. can see then being platonic or romantic. Loving the size difference and honestly they just look cute together. Wally definitely gives Barnaby bones and treats and Barnaby gives Wally new paint tubes

Wally x Howdy 10/10- I LOVE THIS SHIP, the fact Howdy has 4 arms to squish Wally with is just 😩 also again, the size difference, it makes my brain go brrr. Wally steals Apples and Howdy calls him greedy but let’s him have whatever

Wally x Julie 0/10- Don’t like it. I just can’t see it? Idk I see Julie as a big sister to him

Wally x Eddie 8/10- love this ship, just a southern man that forgets everything with a straight forward autistic man makes my brain go silly. Also when Eddie delivers mail he definitely kisses Wally’s cheek or something and says “special delivery!” And Wally does his little monotone laugh “Ha Ha Ha” and gives the mailman a kiss back

Wally x Frank 7/10- it’s been growing on me honestly, Wally definitely captures ‘butterflies’ for Frank to study but Frank doesn’t have to heart to tell me it’s a moth.

Wally x Sally 0/10- honest can’t see it, I find it platonic or them just being little gremlins together

Wally x Poppy 0/10- she’s a mother to him 💀 Poor girl ruffles her feathers at anything Wally does that causes Danger to himself, which happens often to none but still, she worries for him

Barnaby B. Beagle

Barnaby x Howdy 9/10- Barnaby’s thing said he comes into Howdy’s bodega everyday to get a hotdog, so imagine he comes in everyday and they develop feelings for each other slowly as the days, weeks, and months go by

Barnaby x Julie 0/10- just no, to me Barnaby is her big brother

Barnaby x Eddie 2/10- never thought about until now. Can’t see it ever happening, mailman and a dog? Yea, no. But Barnaby chasing after Eddie is kinda cute

Barnaby x Frank 2/10- again, never thought about it until now, honestly they just seem like the two neighbors that are friends with everyone but they don’t talk that often to each other

Barnaby x Sally 0/10- again little sister big brother

Barnaby x Poppy 0/10- she reminds him of his mama

Howdy Pillar

Howdy x Julie 0/10- I just- I don’t know something about Julie screams little sister to them to me

Howdy x Eddie 9/10- very cute, the only two business owners in Welcome Home in a relationship? I’m my opinion, that’s cute. I can see Eddie delivering packages and stuff to Howdy and Eddie give him a big ol smooch and happily says “special delivery!” And Howdy smiles and says “I wonder who it’s from!” And Eddie goes “Me!” And they both laugh! Also they spend the early morning together, Eddie got all his mail ready to be delivered so he sits and eats breakfast with Howdy before he starts getting his bodega ready for the day.

Howdy x Frank 8/10- Also very cute! A 4ft grumpy man that’s special interest is butterflies with a 8ft tall caterpillar? Yes, please. I imagine Frank calls or visits Howdy’s bodega to ask if he’s had lunch yet or if he ate breakfast he packed for him, and of course Howdy ate the Breakfast but he’s been so busy he hasn’t eaten lunch so they eat lunch together.

Howdy x Sally 0/10- seriously what’s up with me thinking they are little sisters to everyone??

Howdy x Poppy 0/10- I think he sees Poppy almost as a mother as well; she calls him darling and brings him cookies, or when he works late at the bodega and falls asleep, she just happens to visit and sees, placing a blanket over him or waking him up so he can rest in his proper bed.

Eddie Dear

Eddie x Julie 0/10- they gossip about Frank but in a good way, also they play dress up and have tea party’s

Eddie x Frank 1000/10- Literally husbands. I could go on for fucking ever about these two but if I do this will be longer then I want so I’m just going to say I REALLY REALLY love them <3

Eddie x Sally 0/10- helps bandage her knees cause she’s always rehearsing dramatic scenes for her plays, can’t tell me otherwise

Eddie x Poppy 0/10- she’s a mama to everyone

Frank Frankly

Frank x Julie 0/10- no 💀 they are best friends

Frank x Sally 0/10- just no, they are both gay(in my opinion)

Frank x Poppy 0/10- No, once again SHE IS MAMA. Also they tell eachother their deepest darkest secrets 🤫

Poppy Partridge

Poppy x Julie 0/10- just can’t see it

Poppy x Sally ?/10- ….im thinking about it

Julie Joyful

Julie x Sally 10/10- Girlfriends for real. Sally let’s Julie reluctantly change the scripts in her plays because it makes her happy and Sally loves seeing her sunshine happy🥰

Eddie x Frank x Howdy 10000/10- oh my 😍 Imagine them cuddling, and Frank is In the middle while Eddie spoons them from behind, and Howdy's arms are over both of them, one arm under the pillow, one under Frank. the other two laying over Frank holding Eddie’s waist . One of Frank's arms curled around Eddie’s arm with their other hand clinging to Howdy’s night shirt.

[autogynocrat]

So what’d it take to accept yourself as being trans and stop giving a shit about the potential repercussions that might’ve come out of that?

LONG POST INCOMING! PLEASE BARE WITH ME! IT IS VERY RAMBLY! BUT I HAVE A TL:DR AT THE END IF YOU DONT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO READ IT ALL!

i had been grappling with the existential dread for years that "one of these days you will be too old to be a femboy, people won't think it's cute for a 35 year old man to dress feminine, they'll think its creepy. you're getting older and aging like a man more every year and soon you will be just like the sissies boomers in poorly fitting dresses that make you so uncomfortable.

you're going to have to give up and become a regular man soon" in 2019 i thought i had accepted my fate, and hoped i could at least age gracefully. i had previously suffered from recurring boughts of discomfort and disconnect with my body, particularly the shape of my jaw, shoulders, and the beard(the beard was the worst thing, it would leave me paralyzed for weeks during the summer every year, ever since around age 20 i have wanted laser hair removal). but it was the though of having to give up and live the rest of my life as a man that was the straw that broke the camels back for me.

but only one year later thinking about it started giving me a really bad identity crisis, i started crying and panicking whenever i thought about how i would have to live as a man for the rest of my life, it was genuinely horrifying, and i felt like "twinkdeath" was creeping up on me, and i found that if I actually wanted hormones it was extremely easy for me to obtain them with just a little bit of my discretionary spending.

i had been talking with some of my trans friends about my issues with gender, that i didnt really feel comfortable as a man, even though at the time i felt like i could never be a woman, some suggested i could be nonbinary. i remember before i finally bit the bullet i talked to a friend who was a transwoman about my gender issues, and after finding that what i was going through felt very similar to what she went through before transitioning, i decided "well, theres nothing wrong with me at least trying hormones, if i dont feel better i'll just stop, its better than being forced to live as a man for the rest of my life"

during the early months of my transition, maybe even the first year and a half, i still kinda identified as a "hrt femboy" or a "nonbinary bigender boygirl" bc i did not feel like i was a real woman or anything, i was just taking estrogen because it alleviated the bad feelings and made me feel happier with my body. i wasnt sure about having boobs yet but i considered it an acceptable tradeoff because everything else made me feel good about my body. i did however, look into SERMs(a type of hormone regulator that can supposedly block estrogenic activity in the breasts) and even briefly used some.

HOWEVER, july of my first year on hrt i got my fateful job at mcdonalds. this period i actually unironically feel like shaped my gender identity to some degree. during the pandemic we all had to wear masks so nobody saw my clocky man chin or anything like that, they just saw my effeminate estrogenized little tits and my beautiful eyes. i got she'd a lot, called pretty, told i was a sweet girl by customers who liked me, and even customers who didn't like me still acted like i was a girl, as they called me a stupid bitch, and said shit like "she got my order wrong" "she was rushing me" stuff like that. being perceived as a woman felt good...i started to identify more with that

a couple times i doubted i was really trans, had some kind of imposter syndrome, that A)i was a fake trans because i denied it for so long, or B) that i didn't DESERVE to be trans because i used to be kind transphobic at times. i tried to stop hrt. every time it didn't take long before i became super dysphoric and decided go to back on it. after a few attempts i kinda realized i belonged on hrt. and when my tits became smaller from attempting to stop i actually felt sad about it, thats how i realized, hey i actually like having boobs, its not a trade off, its one of the benefits

and then bridget came out in guilty gear strive. VERY CONTROVERSIAL thing because suddenly the femboy everyone liked was trans. but. the thing is. i found that very relatable. bc i was also the femboy everyone liked as a femboy, but was kinda trans now, and people who thought i was "based" before, were disgusted at me now. idk. i had a "shes just like me fr" moment and decided i didnt want to keep hiding behind being nonbinary or "hrt femboy" anymore, i wanted to be a girl too. so i just came out and was like yeah i'm she/her pls and my followers who still liked me were like "yeah everyone already saw this coming lol u arent surprising anybody"

anyways yeah the tl;dr is that i basically realized at 25 i could not bear to live with being a man for the rest of my life and i would rather transition than have to be a man, i would rather risk being hated, would rather risk infertility, rather than have to be a man,and it led me to talk to other trans people privately and realize oh hey its not normal for having stubble to send me into a massive depressive episode and thats actually gender dysphoria.

[wilsons-striped-ties]

december tc challenge (days 1-31 oneshot)

by @lustingtc

Day 1: Introduce them. Give a description.

passion fruit, history teacher. he's scary looking, total softie sweetheart on the inside, goofy classes and probably the BEST teacher in my high school. or like who ever existed. fight me.

Day 2: When did your TC start teaching you?

2022-2023, year three and four

Day 3: What is your TC’s favorite outfit?

he always wears the same dress shirts so i have no idea HAHA

Day 4: Do you know when your TC’s b-day is? Age?

7th july, not sure how old he is

Day 5: Song that reminds you of your TC

secret love song?

Day 6: Do they play/coach any sports?

he plays soccer and absolutely loves it

Day 7: Do they drink coffee?

he's a total coffee addict, takes it 100% black which is a total opposite of his soul <3

Day 8: What’s their relationship status?

married with three kids sigh

Day 9: What’s one word that describes your TC? Why?

interesting. because his personality is interesting, everytime i unlock more of his lore it just gets more interesting and his lessons are never boring, always interesting hehe

Day 10: Do they have any pets?

don't think so

Day 11: What kind of car does your TV drive?

i think it's a dark grey mazda

Day 12: Does your TC have kids?

three

Day 13: Favorite thing about your TC’s personality?

he's just such a total sweetheart oh goodness

Day 14: What subject(s) does your TC teach?

history, used to teach english too

Day 15: Does your TC have neat or messy handwritting?

readable but that's because i can read horrible handwriting. it isn't the messiest but it is rather messy HAHHA

Day 16: Does your TC curse?

never heard him curse before but i know it would sound so hot if he does

Day 17: Does your TC have siblings? If so, how many?

i don't know, he doesn't feel like an only child though

Day 18: What’s the worst thing about having a TC?

the delusions and the fact that we can never be together

Day 19: Best thing?

the delusions and the academic validation and the parental issues being satisfied

Day 20: What color are your TC’s eyes?

the prettiest brown oh goodness me

Day 21: Will you tell your TC your feelings?

probably not

Day 22: Does your TC have social media? Which ones?

facebook and instagram

Day 23: Do you and your TC have any inside jokes or something you do together?

ya every time i take a photo with him he now calls it customary HAHA

Day 24: Are you their favorite student?

the only time he brought up this topic was very likely to have been a poke at me when he said his favorite student was another girl who always ditched class but i smiled and went along with it because i knew he was bluffing HAHAHHA that was very early this year so we hadn't gotten as close yet, but still pretty close already

Day 25: Is your TC calm and restrained or expressive?

rather calm and restrained, but when passionate he's expressive

Day 26: Is their personality similar or different to yours?

somewhat similar but also vastly different

Day 27: Funny moment that occurred between you and your TC

i think maybe when he said to the class that he'll make me mark the entire stack of worksheets and at the end of the lesson when i seriously asked him if i was going to mark he looked so stunned and said no and took it back and i looked so sad

Day 28: If you could tell your TC your feelings with no consequences, would you? Why or why not?

MAYBE. but maybe not. no consequences as in our relationship wouldn't be torn? then yes. if not then nah.

Day 29: Do you think your TC knows about your crush?

hmm not really, i think he knows i favour him but i doubt so

Day 30: Do you get jealous seeing your TC with other students?

not really?

Day 31: Have you ever cried in front of your TC? If so, what happened?

nopee

[rekishi-aka]

Tatort Saabrücken timeline thoughts (or: DfL was actually time travel)

Okay so this is a mashup of this post with post-KdE musings, because I obviously needed to course correct for KdE.

The whole thing only started making sense when I rewatched everything again before KdE. My hypothesis starts with DfL actually taking place in 2021 (instead of 2020 when it aired).

Okay let's look at a few facts:

Leo says Adam has been gone for 15 years

They were in 11th grade in 2006 per the yearbook in "Der Herr des Waldes" (= 16/17 years old per starting school at 6 or 7 and G8, both of which would have still been true when they were in school, Saarland only switched to G7 in 2003 and they would likely have been on a G8 track already)

The doorman at the Hofer company says he's born in 1955 (just like his car) and that he will retire in a few months

It's clearly spring (Lida is sowing peas and the next episode takes place two months later when it's obviously summer)

By this logic, their lives would look like this:

1990: Adam and Leo are born [I remember grading papers at uni for my freshmen born in 1990, I thought they were so incredibly young then and now 20 year olds never knew a pre 9/11 world, gosh I feel old 😭]

If we're keeping the actors actual birthdays, a few days apart in July (post-Stichtag babies): 1989

2006:

April: Roland Schürk falls into a coma after his...accident, after meeting Lausch in the woods

July/August: Adam and Leo start 11th grade (Adam was in Lausch's Philosphy class and Lausch only started at their school after the summer)

2007: Adam vanishes. My personal guess is sometime in spring/summer when he couldn't take it anymore...but Adam also isn't stupid enough to run in winter.

+15 years is 2022. Which absolutely doesn't work from a timeline perspective, because that would mean "Das Herz der Schlange" takes place shortly after "Der Herr des Waldes" and the whole team is a) too cozy for that in the restaurant, but also b) Roland is healed up and getting a cut Achilles tendon healed up does not happen in a matter of months, c) Roland had had time to plan his ultimate revenge, and d) they're dressed for early summer throughout the episode. I guess it could be early autumn, but I don't actually think so.

Until now, I always thought the writer had simply messed up the timeline and 15 years sounded better than 13 years. The link above assumes that "Das fleißige Lieschen" takes place in 2020, which was the year it aired.

(This is a non-Covid world, simply because in 2019, when it was shot, they couldn't know. So this is where the Tatort universe diverges, since a few Tatort franchises definitely had Covid, e.g., Berlin.)

However, again, I don't think, because: The doorman says he was born 1955 and that he is going to retire shortly.

Regular retirement age for birth year 1955 was 65 years 9 months (because retirement age rises incrementally until it reaches 67 year). It's spring. 1955+65 years 9 months = 2021

Also, a friend pointed out that Konrad Hofer delivered also the files for 2020 (150 years, 75 years for each of them), but those wouldn't be available in 2020, so this must be 2021.

Which means: "Das fleißige Lieschen" and "Der Herr des Waldes" both take place in 2021 and "Das Herz der Schlange" takes place in April or May 2022 and since Adam looks pretty hale in the promo pictures. Alternately, there could be a two-year jump to 2023, but I actially doubt it.

As for "Die Kälte der Erde":

Boris is still in prison

It's set in Mexico (or at least the dog days of summer)

Adam and Esther are bickering (which is actually nice!) but Adam is also still really mad about the SEK, and attrition would likely have taken care of that. there's a limit to how bitter and grudge-y one can be for prolonged periods of time

Plus, where was Adam living for a whole year? If he'd been with Leo, that would be really shitty to move out again after that long a while, and Leo is in far too good a mood at the beginning for that to be an issue

So it seems likely that KdE actually takes place in August 2022 [or 2023 if HdS is also 2023], which would leave sufficient time for Adam to heal up and rehab his fingers and be back in the field. This, of course, means that they weren't shattered but "only" broken [unlikely considering how it had happened, but! Tatort logic, whatever], but eh. If they want to run with it, fine by me.

This still means that the 15 years Adam is supposed to have been gone are an embellishment, but let's be honest, 15 years sounds better than 14.

I wonder if we'll be stuck in 2022 for the rest of time.

So, this leaves us with the following dates:

1990: Adam and Leo are born

If we're keeping the actors actual birthdays, a few days apart in July: 1989

2006:

April: Roland Schürk falls into a coma after his...accident, after meeting Lausch in the woods

July/August: Adam and Leo start 11th grade (Adam was in Lausch's Philosphy class and Lausch only started at their school after the summer)

2007: Adam vanishes. My personal guess is sometime in spring/summer when he couldn't take it anymore...but Adam also isn't stupid enough to run in winter. (Although my friend is right, he would be stupid enough to run in winter if it got too bad.)

2021

March/April [latest time to sow peas]: "Das fleißige Lieschen", Adam returns, Roland wakes up

May/June [two months later]: "Der Herr des Waldes", Roland gets suspicious

2022:

April/May: "Das Herz der Schlange", Roland seemingly gets his revenge on Adam for not becoming the man he wanted him to be

August-ish: "Die Kälte der Erde"

[tsuki-chibi]

Ladynoir July 2023 Day 10: Trust Fall

Read all the entries on AO3 (except today's, which I was unable to post b/c of the obvious... I waited as late as I could and now give up.)

–

Chat was snickering to himself when Ladybug arrived for their patrol that night. A bit bemused, because she rarely saw her partner in such a good mood, Ladybug hopped down next to him. They were the first ones here for once, but she had no doubt that Carapace, Rena, and Queen Bee would be along shortly.

“What’s so funny?” she asked curiously, and Chat laughed harder.

“It’s – it’s my father,” he rasped out, and Ladybug furrowed her eyebrows. She really didn’t see what was so funny about Gabriel Agreste. If anything, any mention of Gabriel was usually more than enough to suck all the joy out of a room.

“Your father?” Ladybug repeated after a few seconds, hopelessly lost. So far as she knew, there had been nothing special or out of the ordinary about Adrien’s schedule today. He’d left school early for a photoshoot, and then he had a Mandarin lesson. But when you had a somewhat tempestuous father like Gabriel Agreste, your schedule could change on a dime.

“I’ll tell you when everyone else arrives. I think I’ll crack a rib from laughing if I have to tell it twice,” Chat said.

“That’s mean,” Ladybug said, pouting a little. But she couldn’t stay mad. Not when Chat’s smile stretched from ear to ear. It was such a pleasure to see him so happy for once that she didn’t even press the issue; just laid her head on his shoulder and waited for their friends to arrive.

Queen Bee came first, followed by Rena Rouge and then, after a good ten minutes, Carapace. He was huffing and puffing as he dashed over to them.

“Sorry! I couldn’t get Chris out of my room. He watched a scary movie and wouldn’t go to bed,” he explained, dropping to his knees.

“It’s fine. Now, we’re all here. Chat, tell us!” Ladybug ordered.

“Tell us what?” Rena asked with interest, and Chat grinned.

“So recently, my father’s company has been having a morale problem,” he revealed.

“Shocking,” Queen Bee said dryly. “I can’t imagine why employees wouldn’t like working under Gabriel Agreste.”

Chat nodded at her. “Yeah, exactly. But my father doesn’t really get that. He authorized Nathalie to hire these people to come in and analyze the company and figure out where improvements could be made.”

“My mom’s company did that once,” Carapace observed. “She said it was a pain.”

“My dad too,” Rena said.

“Yep. But man…” Here, Chat giggled.

“Chat! Tell us!” Ladybug practically screamed.

“Okay! Okay. So one of the things these people said we should do is get to know each other better. They had all these ideas for employee icebreakers and what not, and they said it was best if everyone did them.” Chat’s shoulders were trembling with laughter. “Everyone including the boss.”

Dead silence.

Rena’s eyes were huge when she said, “Are you telling me – what, that Gabriel Agreste did a trust fall with his employees?”

“Is he in the hospital because they let him fall?” Queen Bee wanted to know.

“Queen Bee,” Ladybug said half-heartedly.

Queen Bee scoffed. “Oh please. Don’t even try to tell me you wouldn’t let him fall, because I wouldn’t believe you.”

Ladybug had no response for that.

“Not my dad. He’s too good for that. He sent someone in his place.”

And then Ladybug got it. She burst out laughing. “Are you telling me Nathalie Sancoeur did a trust fall on your dad’s behalf?”

They all started laughing, Chat most of all. His giggling was almost frantic as he waved his hands.

“It – it gets better!” he sputtered. “She was holding my dad’s tablet and FaceTiming him the whole time!”

That did it. All five heroes collapsed into helpless giggles. Needless to say, no patrolling got done that night.

[beauzos]

Books I read this July

Something I've been wanting to do but kept forgetting so here we are!! An overview of all the books I've read this month!! I don't know if anyone really cares but I love talking about books, so here we are. We have a couple more days of July, but I just started an 800 page book so no shot it gets done this month. I read 10 books this month, and I'm rather pleased about that.

The Wide Wide Sea by Hampton Sides | 4.5/5 stars

I started this in June but finished in July so I'm counting it. One of my favorites this month. I could conceive of it being slightly better or detailed at some parts, so it's not a 5/5, but it's damn close. Sides has a great and engaging nonfiction style that this makes book incredibly approachable for anybody. It's very well-researched and does a great job unveiling the final journey that Captain Cook took before his death in Hawaii.

I loved this book because it clarified a lot of things about Cook. Something I thought was interesting was how rarely he ever judged the Native peoples he came into contact with. Because of that, you actually get such an intimate feel for who these people actually were at the time because he just accepted their practices, religion, and so on. He's still a colonizer, don't get me or this book wrong, but I've never really seen a book about someone like Cook where they didn't immediately hate the people they encountered or tried to "fix" or proselytize to them. I found that to be a very interesting dynamic.

It was such a unique historical experience reading this book because he just observed and impartially participated in their goings-on. I've never quite seen anything like it.

I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Two Old Women by Velma Wallis | 5/5 stars

This one I loved. This is a telling of an Alaskan Native legend about two old women who were abandoned by their tribe in the winter due to famine, and how they fought to survive, eventually returning to their tribe and helping them survive in return.

Really short, very simple. I don't have a lot to say, I just thought the story was great and had really solid emotional impact for its length. Easy to breeze through, can read this in an hour or so. Definitely recommend checking out.

Antelope Woman by Louise Erdrich | 3.5/5 stars

I read this one after my best friend told me Stephen Graham Jones took inspiration from it for The Only Good Indians. I only read Tracks by Erdrich and that was back in 2017 and I did not love it, but I liked her style. I think this one is better. Something about it doesn't fully work, and I wish honestly the book had been about the family story that gets rushed through in chapter 1, but the premise is super interesting and Erdrich's style is incredible.

She writes in a way that makes everything feel incredibly mythic. The characters are interesting and the story is pretty good. I love Sweetheart Calico as a character and I see how she could've inspired Jones for Elk Head Woman in TOGI.

The amount of incest was a bit strange though.

Close Range: Wyoming Stories by Annie Proulx | 3/5 stars

This one I have mixed feelings on. Annie Proulx has a great style but I had trouble getting into a lot of the stories. A lot of the stories feel kinda samey with all the cheating, rape, and sexual harrassment. The best of those stories is the one about the rodeo bull rider, that was legitimately a great story. My favorite of the set overall is Brokeback Mountain. It stands miles above the other ones and is what makes the book 3 stars instead of 2. It by itself is a solid 5/5.

I would revisit some of these stories but I just struggled to get into the book overall. Not bad though.

The Heart in Winter by Kevin Barry | 2.5/5 stars

Oh, brother. This one. I was really excited for this one because it's a new Western that's been getting a lot of buzz and then it was nottt good. Extremely rushed pacing early on, insta-love romance, terribly developed romance. Why would I even care about these two-levels of bad development.

The prose is fine. Very casual, kinda reminds me of a mix of Annie Proulx and Cormac McCarthy. It carries the book because there isn't much to get attached to otherwise. The ending renders the entire book pointless. If I care about their relationship then maybe it'd mean something.

Mid as fuck. Beginning is the worst bit but if the ending had stuck the landing it could have been 3 stars.

The Art Thief by Michael Finkel | 3/5 stars

This was the non-fiction pick at Barnes & Noble for July. I picked it up because this is new in paperback, and it came with sprayed edges, yellow with bats printed on the side. I read it, and it was fine. That's about all I can really say. There's something missing from this book, but as to what it is, I have no idea. It's readable and the story is interesting enough, but I guess I'm just more interested in hardcore history non-fiction books.

But I'd never heard of this guy before; he stole over 200 pieces of art from museums across Europe with his girlfriend and kept them all in his bedroom. The ease in which they managed to steal these artworks is incredible.

It's not my usual kind of non-fiction read. But it wasn't bad. It's interesting, it's a wild story, and it was fine.

The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton | 3/5 stars

This one turned out better than I expected. I read it because I had a weird dream about being super moved by Edith Wharton's writing and then found out she did a novel on Gilded Age New York so couldn't pass it up. First half of the book is painfully boring. I don't like Edith Wharton's style of narration, but eventually, the characters start to carry it and you get invested in this stupid rich white people drama. I kinda loved the ending, though it also disappointed me-- but I think it was brilliantly done and I couldn't ask for it to be changed.

Newland Archer is so despicable at points yet terribly sympathetic as a protagonist, I find him SO interesting because of that. I really loved Ellen Olenska and Catherine Mingott too. The cast was honestly pretty solid. I'm glad I didn't give up on it, but it didn't wow me.

But it was enlightening to see the culture of the NYC elite during the Gilded Age. it's what I was there for. It's white people drama, and that's all, really, but it's good stuff.

West by Carys Davies | 2/5 stars

I found out about this one after seeing a customer come up with it in my line a while back. Found out it was a Western and ordered it for myself. Real itty bitty book, only 150 pages, and honestly, I think the book would be improved by being a full-length novel-- or, that it is to say, about double the pages, at least.

I thought the premise was interesting but it doesn't really go anywhere. The father goes West to find proof that giant beasts exist after dinosaur bones are discovered in Kentucky, searches fruitlessly for a year, then dies, and that's it. I wanted an actual journey, I suppose.

The way the daughter's half of the story veers into multiple pedophiles preying on her was weird as hell and I'm not sure it contributed very much beyond the ending. I think the inclusion is fine, it just feels super underbaked in a short novella like this and needs some tweaking.

It just kind of ends with a whimper and that's that. Woefully underdeveloped, but I didn't hate it. I just finished it and went "huh." and that was it.

Navola by Paolo Bacigalupi | 2.5/5 stars

Man what the fuck.

The book is both really bad and really good. Really boring, hard to get into, pseudo incest subplot making me want to DNF after the story started getting through. But I'd already read 300 pages, so I forged on and finished it. The book gets really good at the end, but at what cost to my sanity?

I did a whole review of this before. Look at it here. I don't feel like repeating myself. The book would be 3 or even 4 stars without the pseudo incest or the boring start.

President Garfield by C. W. Goodyear | 3.5/5 stars

This one took me a while to get through because I got sick in the middle of it. It was a bit dry, but not dense, but still took me over a week. I thought it was very interesting and informative-- Garfield's era reminds me, in some ways, of our current situation, so it's always neat to compare. He was a very interesting man, and I wonder what could've been had he been able to carry out his presidency; he died only six months into his term. Pretty good. Close to four stars but not quite. I felt some things could've been elaborated on more, but overall, it was well written.

The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt by Edmund Morris | tba

I have no shot at finishing this by the end of July, the fucker is 800 pages. But Teddy Roosevelt is one of the most interesting people to ever become president, so I look forward to learning more about him.

[aggold15hi01]

A long post on a life update-30th July 2024

⚠️ Trigger warning for mentions of cyber b*llying, b*llying; ab*se and also how does the internet does feels like a dark & scary place plus mentions of d*pr*ss**n as well as a result of loss of life.

Read this with caution when you are reading this individual post on here.

Heard the news of how C*rlos is going to replace Logan who has been my comfort driver for a very long time and honestly; it does truthfully angers me especially when we are truthfully talking about the part where there are people (Especially when we are truly talking about the t*xic people who are feeling truthfully happy to see Logan go which does truthfully angers me a lot to the point where it makes me want to quietly r*p*rt them for b*llying and ab*se as well as h*te as well to be honest) whom they are feeling truthfully h*ppy to see him (Logan) go and having to be truly replaced by C*rlos.

I know I have nothing against C*rlos however when it comes to free agency side of F1; I do feel as if this is a merry go round ride I do wanted to truthfully get off both this t*xic merry go round ride and the scary t*xic roller coaster ride as already I am feeling truthfully upset and deeply saddened by what I am hearing the news about how Logan is going to truthfully be replaced by C *rlos and then instead of thanking him; in reality; there are so many people whom they would just criticize him and also yet having to feel that evil satisfaction of how he (Logan) is getting replaced by C*rlos and honestly; I am feeling very angered; hurt and upset by what I am truthfully hearing right now.

And honestly; it does truthfully hurts me and angers me when I did heard the people who would do nothing but to simply waste all of their own precious time to truthfully criticize someone like Logan and yet having to evilly just praise the replace of C*rlos and this does truthfully hurts so many people (Including me, myself and I selfishly) on how he (Logan) is going to be truthfully replaced by C*rlos and honestly; I know the next point I am going to truthfully say is going to be an irrelevant note but sometimes I don't truthfully blame Logan at this point in his very own life especially when we are talking about the part where he is going to be truthfulyl replaced for the next season dejectedly; but honestly and oddly, I am feeling thsnkful that he didn't definitely use Twitter/ X despite how he has an account; the last thing on my mind was to definitely think about how he (Logan) react when he read all of those t*xi*c comments out there online and yet to dig a deeper hole into the grave; the w*rst thing for me is tor truthfully hear that he wopuld read those comments and yet having to truthfully experience any early signs of d*pr*ss**n.

Also, on an irrelevant note; I sometimes think the internet can be also a very dark and scary place as well especially with all of the cyber b*llying online and the online h*rr*ssment everyone had to gone through every single day in their very own life and yet one of the worst things to truthfully experience is having to read both h*te and the b*llying comments about how you aren't being 'good' enough for anyone or anybody else in general and this does deeply saddens me especially as a person who had went through a real life experience of being b*llied and also having to be an actually b*lly as well in general.

On another note: I do want to truly wish Logan well in his other endeavors wherever he goes along with sending him unconditional prayers that may god bless him unconditionally wherever he goes additionally on another yet an irrelevant note as well; I do wish more people can learn how to truthfully have more compassion and more knowledge by having to truly know their life story instead of having to truthfully simply judge them for nothing and yet just simply having to waste their own time by having to criticize him and to also b*lly anyone or anybody online in general until they truthfully lost their life.

Plus instead of wasting your time just simply cyber b*llying towards someone you don't truthfully know very well and yet wasting more time by having to truly write out h*te posts about them; why not you go focus on elsewhere and just invest in your very own life on both endeavors and other interests you do want to truthfully pursue in your very own life for a very long time.

It is simple as that.

Very long post but I did wanted to get something off from my chest and also having to truthfully share my own thoughts on here as well and yet having to truthfully let everyone know about how sometimes the internet can be also a dark and scary place in general sometimes as sometimes it can be so scary to truly experience both cyber b*llying and ab*se.

Anyway; thank you and mahalo nui loa for coming to my TED talk online and I wish you all well unconditionally.

Plus may you be blessed in every step of the way unconditionally.

[chronotopes]

PERSONAL WRITING WRAPPED 2023

Getting this done significantly earlier than I got it done last year, which I think may in itself be an indication of being in "a better mental place."

Let's get to it.

CREATIVE NONFICTION, NEW FIRST DRAFTS:

"Catalogue of Thoughts, With Rebukes," January. CLASSIC katia journal entry turned essay format, which is "conversation between versions of myself." Artistic enough suffering that it totally counts as a cnf essay.

"I Can't Remember..." (titled in real life "my homework from brenda and julie"), January. Essay Written For Practice, specifically inspired by the prompt "Write an essay where every sentence starts with 'I can't remember.' Cathartic and has some bits of very pretty prose. Maybe I don't agree with the overall conclusions it draws, but I sure like it as a piece of writing.

"As the sun sets over [my local river], I consider Joan of Arc," January. broooo why were my early-in-the-year cnf titles so pretentious. Lyric essay meets prose poem but I'm choosing to classify it as a lyric essay. First draft dictated into my voice memos, mad scribe style. Man i used to love voice memos.

"Elegy for a life I can't live," April. Boooo emo bullshit booo but once again cathartic and perhaps more clear-sighted about things than the previous work. Anaphora got me through a lot in the first half of this year.

"I don't understand music," April. Finally, creative nonfiction that isn't about depressing shit! About a) piano and b) love, obviously. Needs a lot of editing but I am fond of her.

"Orthodox," July. Old poem about national identity and religion that I reformulated into a very unpolished essay.

"Two gay preteens and a lake monster," July. Another old poem, reformulated into a flash essay this time. Polished it enough to submit to a call for flash essay submissions and then never did.

"Nikolayevna," July. ALSO an old poem reformulated into a flash essay. This is my favorite trick and I will do it to all of my mid-but-promising poetry one day. This one's about ~generational cycles!~

"My dead boss and my dead friend," July. New addition to my senior spring flash essay series from last year.

"A spoiler, displaced in time," July. Another new addition to the senior spring flash essay, in an effort to make it more rounded with context I did not then have.

"[personal bullshit relevant situation], or 'The Kids from Yesterday.'" The Senior Spring Essays in their totality cannot ever seen the light of day for many reasons and one of them is that the ending rests partly on an MCR-based metaphor. Which is very silly.

"Justifications," October. Oh lord back to For Processing Purposes Only creative nonfiction. That's cool I guess. Mad about how good the prose in these quasi-journal entries is and the degree to which i did not write enough of them this year.

12 pieces in total.

CREATIVE NONFICTION, NEW DRAFTS OF OLD STUFF AND UNFINISHED BUT PROMISING NEW STUFF.

"Catalogue of Kitchenware," February-August. What it sounds like.

"Obsidian Greythorne's Depression Cannot Be Cured By Finding A New, Alive Girlfriend" and "Fornax And Annue Cannot Ever Have Sex For Reasons I Just Made Up," March-June. Two entries in an envisioned series of essays exploring adolescent sexuality/identity/experience through old fictionwriting adventures.

"Catalogue of Berries," July. Eastern Europe posting.

"On Taking the Waters," July. I said "Oh, I know what's missing from this old essay about being very sad in bath!" and stuck my friend who died in there. Classic essay trick.

"A Grand Palatial House of the Old South," July. Heterosexual roommate angst processing essay, refined.

"On being old enough to talk about the war," July. Flash essay (really edging out of flash essay territory, it got long) from last year about the Russian invasion of Ukraine, completely rewritten.

"A Hill in the [local civil war history location]," July. Also a flash essay from the senior spring essays, rewritten enough to count as a newish thing.

"A Car Is Like A Little House," August. Suburbia, weather, immigration, the interstate highway system, all the usual suspects in my writing.

Nine pieces in total.

POETRY:

"Myopia in seventh-grade notebooks," January. "It is january 2023, and one year ago I should have known better. / And unlike all of the other times I ruined my life, that time, it was for forever." Less Vent Poetry and more unified concept worth working from. About reading notes to myself in old diaries.

"Novice time traveler," February. Jesus christ reading through these is killing me. This one shares a lot of ideas with dialogues but is less good lol.

"3/23/2022," February. A sestina I wrote for Gabe on the occasion of our first anniversary, and certainly a sestina I like a lot more than the first sestina I wrote. Not groundbreaking stuff but I like it anyway. I would have to take a Real Poetry Class to get properly good at poetry, I think. For those curious: my words were moon, dare, blossom, spring, test, and time.

I would write Gabe little poems every day for the last few months of being longish-distance. Not all of them were good, and I cannot count them to save my life, but among them were "Sonnet for a job application," "Sonnet for an orchestra concert," "February Villanelle," "Sonnet for warmth," "Sonnet for Spring," "For Dusk," "For the sinking sun." Some of them will be something one day. Others had value in their ephemeral Baby Poem status.

Ten completed pieces in total, a whole lot more little stuff than that.

FICTION:

52 or so thousand words of what was once titled Adventures of the Extranei and is now titled fucking, like, Untitled Quartz the Novel Project, June-November. What started out as last year's fascination with an old, sprawling, deeply flawed novel turned into a perhaps-ill-advised attempt to rename (almost) all the characters and rewrite it to be coherent. Currently, it exists in the form of a 100-page outline and one nanowrimo's worth of novel (three parts out of like twelve complete). I'll go back to it after I finish Aivide, if only because of Sunk Cock Theory.

A rewritten prologue to what was once titled Adventures of the Extranei: The Next Generation and is now titled Dude If You Rewrite All Of Nextgen Too You're Going To Have To Start Asking For Money For It Because Seriously We're Talking 500k+ words of story here. What can I say, sometimes the grip of "I could do this BETTER" overtakes you.

Three edited existing chapters and one brand new revised chapter of AIVIDE THE PREQUEL, August-December. READ IT HERE, unless you haven't read Vinbre the Novel yet, in which case read Vinbre the Novel first. Very proud of the ways I've sneakily grown as a writer since first drafting the last three chapters, very glad for the opportunity to write it as I see it now and share it with the world.

About 85,000 words in total if you only count the completely new chapter of Aivide, somewhere around 100,000 if you count stuff I added to the old ones. I could probably be more accurate about it if I wasn't writing this at 2 AM on new year's eve. (Afternoon after edit: About 37,000 new words of Aivide + 51,980 words of Quartz + 10,007 words of nextgen bullshit = just about 98,000 words of fiction. yippee!!)

Overall, 26 completed(ish) pieces in total, counting the venty drafts and the revisions, which constituted a lot of what I wrote this year.

SUPERLATIVES:

Most Economical: "Two Gay Preteens and a Lake Monster," "My Dead Boss and My Dead Friend"

Most Romantic: "I don't understand music"

Greatest Potential: "A car is like a little house," "Orthodox"

Best Emerging Genre: Essay collections

Biggest Comeback: Fiction

Most Likely To Succeed: "Catalogue of Berries," "On Taking the Waters," "Orthodox," "A Car is like a little house"

The One You Should Read: Aivide the Prequel

Worst Girls of the Year: Quartz Greythorne and Aivide Thieri

[salt-volk]

Saw the post about "other sites" and I'm feeling ~salty~, so lemme give some context for where the bar is with pet sites to y'all. Maybe you've seen ads, maybe you tried playing it and quit because the tutorial is its own circle of hell, maybe you're a blessed person who has never heard of it: Sylestia. It's run by one (1) man. He codes the entire site, has exactly 0 help - by choice. People have literally offered to help him with coding stuff *for free* and he refuses to let anyone touch his precious code.  His ex girlfriend (yes you read that right) is supposedly the other admin - she barely ever shows up, posts games/events that are full of errors, once vanished in the middle of running a game, and has personally insulted players before because they dared offer feedback on one of her ugly ass designs. There is exactly one artist for avatar items and one for pets - one other artist is listed in the credits but it's unclear what regular work, if any, they do for the site. Over 200 different avatar items are released per year, and new pet traits debut anywhere between 4-8 times per year, AND the site is in the (glacially slow) process of redoing all the art for various species. The site is at least 98% RNG by volume - including items you pay premium currency for. Retired items? RNG only. Getting pets? RNG. Getting items period? RNG. And the RNG is also awful - people are constantly having to literally beg for rates to be adjusted.  Plenty of features for events are also just. straight up gambling - you can pay solid chunks of premium currency and walk away with items that are literally worth nothing. You think DV is grindy? Sylestia not only practically requires you to spend a full workday glued to it - including events that basically require you to literally not sleep for several days - the site owner is actively making new content to further encourage ridiculous amounts of grinding. Why? Because he's worried that older players will be bored without new content - so instead of fixing any of the old content on the site, or the site itself which is a mess, he makes new content that ALSO doesn't work.  As of December, the site will be in its ELEVENTH YEAR IN BETA. So when I say "not fixing old content", I'm not talking like, a couple glitches or iffy art. I'm talking *half the site is completely incompatible with the other half*.  And all of that my friends, is still somehow not the source of my salt.  Someone pointed out to the site owner that one of his avatar items was, perhaps, a bit racist. It was (I should say is, it's still on the site :) ) a stereotypical native american dress, CLEARLY based off of the stupid Pocahontas movie, titled "Pow Wow Costume". It was released with a Pilgrim costume in the site's early years. Pretty not great, yeah? Multiple people complained, provided him sources explaining why "Maybe don't keep this on here, maybe this isn't great".  He, is white. He responded by saying he a) would not remove it, b) did not think it was offensive, c) what about the Christmas items or St. Patrick's day items the site has aren't those the same, and d) he actually visited a reservation once so he knows it's OK to have those items, and e) native players should actually be HAPPY to have those items because it was to iNcLuDE tHeM.  I am not joking.  The site has 0 acknowledgement of pride month, not a banner, not an announcement, no items, no anything - it DOES however have an entire festival for the American Fourth of July holiday. The owner claims he doesn't like to have political things on his site, make of that what you will.  The owner also issued a mass ban on a bunch of people because they said some rude shit (about the racist items, the rng, his refusal to get coding help, general issues taking feedback, etc.) in a private, off-site discord server. How did he know what they said? Why, he asked some players in the server to *spy on the others for him*.   He edited time stamps out and published a bunch of the screenshots from this private server, out of context and who knows if they were edited, and threw a public tantrum about how the players were harassing him and secretly planning to destroy the site… by bitching in a private discord.  So yeah. Not excusing Anji's behavior, but happy to show y'all exactly how much worse it could be LMAO.