#my aunties and cousins would immediately adopt him i know they would

[aphrogeneias]

not slutty but do u think the aunties like eddie and like to gossip and fawn over him cause he’s so handsome and helpful and kind or because he’s tall and strong-ish he’s immediately put to work in the kitchen 🤭

he's the aunties favorite, they adore him

and he's the one who's offering to work in the kitchen! wayne taught him well, after all. all the women in your family fawn over him and gush about how chivalrous he is, and he loves it

that's how he learns all the gossip from your family. he's helping them do the dishes and now he knows who's marrying who and who's cheating on who and who owes who money. he's very invested and will ask for updates when he sees them again

also they're all obviously making him eat more because he's so skinny, the poor boy :( and he's like yeah 🥺throwing those bambi eyes at them, and you're there knowing damn well he just wants to be pampared (but you'll allow it, he deserves it)

[natashaslesbian]

We Saved Each Other (Part Ten)

It’s your first birthday with your new mama, unfortunately it doesn’t go to plan

Word Count: 2.7k

Content: Autistic Meltdown

————

“A little to the left” Natasha guided Clint in hanging up yet another banner. “I’ve tied all the balloons up” Maria called as she came into the room. Today was your 7th birthday and Natasha had promised it would be a day to remember. You had never celebrated your birthday having grown up in the red room and with a father who didn’t care, it was something Natasha had been excited about since she adopted you last year. Your day so far had been filled with breakfast in bed, a few presents and now you were at the zoo with auntie Laura and your cousins, Lila and Cooper (and you were very excited that Laura was expecting another baby). You had begged your mama to come with you but she told you she had paper work that needed to be done. Little did you know, Natasha had sent you on a trip in order to decorate your house for a surprise party. After living in the Barton’s barn for a few months, Nat found an adorable cottage in the countryside. You loved your new house, it was perched on a small hill and overlooked fields filled with sheeps and horses. The back garden had a small pond and you’re favourite part of the day was feeding the fish and having Natasha push you super high on the swings. It was the perfect hideaway when the avengers tower got too much, it had been especially crazy since the organisation had formed a few short months ago.

You were currently waiting in line to feed the alpacas, something you had been talking about non stop all day. The line was moving quickly and you could hardly wait “Auntie Laura is it my turn next?” You asked excitedly. “I think so birthday girl, you ready?” Laura asked as she guided you forward, you nodded excitedly as you grabbed your bowl of grass. “Here we go then, lift up some food for them” your auntie leaded you. you smiled widely as one of the alpacas came over to munch on some grass “look Lila!” You cheered as you twisted to see your cousin. In turning your back you accidentally moved the bowl away from the alpaca, making it harder for him to grab some grass. Not thinking anything was wrong, you turned around with your big rosy cheeks and came face to face with an angry alpaca who immediately spat roughly in your face. You screamed loudly as the goo landed on your face “auntie Laura!” You yelled as you dropped the bowl into the pen, distracting the alpacas. “It’s okay sweetie he just got a little angry” Laura said as she lifted you off the small podium you were placed upon. “Get it off me!” You sobbed as your hands began to flap, the first sign that your autism was starting to take over.

Back at home, Natasha was adding the final touches to your decorated house. There were banners on every wall and balloons filled the hallway. Maria was finishing decorating your cake when Clint came running in with his phone held to his ear “Nat, we need to go get y/n” he said breathlessly. Natasha dropped everything as she came to talk to Clint “what’s happened?” She said in a panicked voice, a million thoughts racing behind her eyes. “Some animal spat on her she’s having a meltdown” Clint said as he guided Nat towards the door, the two didn’t waste a second as they climbed into the car and headed to the zoo. “I knew this was a bad idea” Natasha sighed “she’s been so overwhelmed lately I should’ve just suggested the park or something I just wanted today to be special for her” she said in a panicked quickness. “Breathe Nat” Clint said as he placed a comforting hand on his friends shoulder “she’s got her coping mechanisms right?” He asked. “Yeah but she’s never had to use them without me there, she’s never had a meltdown without me, I should’ve gone with her Clint” Natasha mumbled as her eyes filled with tears. “She’ll be okay, she always bounces back, just like her mom” Clint smiled as he consoled Natasha.

Peoples heads were starting to turn at the zoo, some in understanding and some in annoyance. Lila and cooper stood back as they watched their mom try to comfort their dear cousin. Lila still didn’t really understand why you got so upset at what she felt was a tiny problem but Cooper was slowly learning how to help and interact with you. “Where’s mommy!” You cried as you gripped onto Laura’s sweatshirt “she’s on her way y/n okay, deep breaths sweetheart” Laura said. Your knuckles were starting to turn white at the sheer force of your grip, the material being twisted and pulled in between your fingers. Laura had attempted to get you to count to 10, tried the ‘5, 4, 3, 2, 1’ method but so far nothing had calmed you. “Mommy look it’s daddy and auntie Nat!” Lila called as she saw Clint’s car pull into the car park, pointing over with a wide smile. “Y/n hey, look who’s here” Laura cooed, trying to get your focus onto Natasha. The widow came rushing over when she saw your state, pushing past the small crowd of people who had gathered. “Can you give her some space please?” Clint said to all the bystanders. “Y/n baby!” Natasha called as she came over to you, you ran straight into her arms when you heard her voice. “Mama I don’t like it” you sobbed into her arms “I know sweetie it’s ok mommy’s here” Natasha said as she squeezed you with all her might, something she learned early on helped to ground you.

You couldn’t quite remember the actual events that happened next but in your next moment of consciousness you felt the familiar beanbag underneath you and the weight of your blanket was wrapping around you perfectly. You peaked out through your half opened eyes and realised you were at the tower. Your mom had created four calm spaces for you at your most visited locations, your house, Clint’s house, the avengers tower and S.H.I.E.L.D HQ. You opened your eyes fully when you realised it was dim, small lava lamps illuminated the corners of the room just how you liked it. The black out curtains were pulled tightly shut and all the electronics had been unplugged (Natasha spent weeks looking for a battery powered lava lamp). You saw a flash of red hair in the corner of your eyes and were immediately calmed by the presence of your mother. Noticing you were awake, Natasha slowly made her way over to you, sitting close by but far enough away. She began to sign slowly, something Clint was teaching the both of you for when you needed absolute silence. Taking her time to get it right, Natasha signed for ‘voice’ and you nodded slowly letting her know it was okay to talk. “Hi baby” she whispered “is there anything in the room that needs to be adjusted?” She asked. You looked around the room quickly and shook your head no. “Do you want touch right now?” Your mom said, you nodded quickly and reached out for your mom.

Still wrapped up in your weighted blanket, Natasha gently picked you up and sat you on her lap atop the beanbag. She swayed slowly as she held you close, adding the perfect amount of pressure. “You’re not having the best of birthdays are you baby girl?” Natasha said. “No” you mumbled quietly, rubbing your face against the bare skin above Nats t shirt. Your mom pulled her shirt over her head, cooing gently when you whined at the brief loss of contact. You settled again instantly at the feeling of her soft chest. “I think I have something that might make it a bit better, if you want it?” Natasha said as she pulled you close. “What is it?” You asked sceptically looking up at your mom through your eyelashes “well it’s a very special present I got for you” she said as she shifted you in her arms. Now perched comfortably on your mamas knee, you questioned her further on this special present “why is it special?” You asked. “Because it’s more than a present, it’s something mommy has been thinking about getting you for a long time. I think he’s gonna make you really happy” Natasha said. “He?” You asked inquisitively “is it a person mama?” You said. “Not quite, shall we go and find out?” Nat asked. “Yes please” you said as you wrapped your legs your moms waist and held on tight behind her neck.

Natasha made sure you had fully adjusted to the light before she walked down the hall with you on her hip, after pulling her shirt back over her head. She’d given you a fidget toy to help soothe you further, the worst of your meltdown had passed but she wanted to keep you from going backwards into another one. It was a Saturday so the tower was quiet, the avengers floor practically silent, the crew cleaning up after the attack on New York didn’t work weekends either. You passed through the empty halls unfazed and happily stimming with your fidget snake, only when you heard a familiar voice did you look up from your hands. “Hey little spider” Clint said when you smiled wildly at him “are you feeling better?” He asked. You nodded slowly and made grabby hands towards him, wanting to feel the softness of the familiar sweatshirt he was wearing. You settled in his arms until a sharp bark took you by surprise, you covered your ears at the sudden noise but quickly calmed and flashed an inquisitive look at your mom. “What did you hear baby?” Natasha asked you with a wide smile. “A woof woof” you said questioningly “is there a doggy?” You asked as you scrambled out of Clint’s arms to investigate. “Why don’t we go and see where the woof woof came from?” Your mom said as she took a hold of your hand.

You tip toed down the corridor, listening intensely for another sound, particularly a bark. “It’s coming from in here mama!” You beamed as you came to the avengers common room. “Maybe you should go and have a look” Clint said as he pushed down on the handle. Natasha nodded as she encouraged you to enter the room, you walked in slowly to the dimly lit space. Looking up to your right you saw a pink balloon gently flowing around the room. “A balloon mommy” you said as you jogged slowly around the couch. Your eyes went wide when you saw a fluffy grey husky sitting beside the coffee table “a doggy!” You exclaimed as you looked down into the bright blue eyes of the feline “look little spider he has a note with him!” Clint said, pointing towards the folded card on the table. You ran towards it and picked it up to have a look, it read:

‘Hi y/n. My name is Joey. I’m a special doggy to help you with your autism. I am really friendly and will help you need me’

You finished reading and looked back at Natasha “he’s for me mommy?” You asked. “He is” your mom said as she crouched down beside you, calling Joey over to you both “he’s specially trained to look after you when you get overwhelmed” Natasha said as she gently brushed through the dogs hair. You cautiously placed your hand out for Joey to inspect and he wagged his tail excitedly when he sniffed your fingers “he’s funny” you giggled when Joey came up to lick your face, the gentle strokes of his tongue and his soft fur soothing you. “I think he likes you” Natasha said as she released her hold on Joeys collar, she was delighted when he came to sit at your feet and looked up at you with his adoring eyes. “I like him too mommy, can he sleep in my room?” You begged. “Of course, he’s your special doggy y/n, so he can always stay with you. He’ll always be there if you need him, he can tell when you’re upset so he’ll come and help you and he can alert me if you need mamas help” Natasha explained. “Thank you mommy! I love him so much!” You shrieked as you ran into Natasha’s arms.

Nat stood back as she watched you play with Joey, he was so gentle with you that it brought a lump to her throat. Clint wrapped an arm around his best friends shoulder as he watched on too. “I think they’ll be best friends in no time” he said. Clint had spent months helping Natasha research for therapy animals and he’d taken her to all the meetings. Natasha knew as soon as she met Joey that he was the perfect dog for you and after making sure he was fully trained, she couldn’t wait to bring him home. “I’m guessing the party’s off?” Clint asked as he stepped back. Natasha watched you run around happily while Joey chased your balloon. “I think the party’s right here.”

10 years later.

“Sit Joey” you said as you called your husky to your side “good boy” you praised as you slipped him a treat. Natasha came around the side of your truck after securing the last of your boxes. “You’re all set” she said with a slight quiver in her voice. “Mama don’t cry again” you laughed as you pulled the redhead into your arms. “I can’t help it” Natasha said as she took your face into her hands “my grown up baby girl, off to college. Have I told you that I’m so proud of you” Your mom smiled. “Many times mama” you said as you lent your forehead against Natasha’s. Joey whined at the lack of attention and Nat crouched down to stroke him “oh Joey I’m gonna miss you too. The house is gonna be so quiet without you stomping around” she giggled. You took a glance up at your house, remembering all of the memories you never thought you would have. Natasha had made up for every year of love you were deprived of and along the way you found yourself the best family in the world.

Clint and Laura also cried the day you got accepted into Harvard and Tony threw you the biggest going away party, abiding closely by the many rules Natasha had set to make sure you were comfortable. Yelena was gutted that you two wouldn’t be able to take Joey and Fanny for their doggy play dates. After you, your mom and Yelena had taken down the red room, you had gotten so close with your auntie you couldn’t imagine life without her. But she had promised to face time very day, though you knew it would just be to talk to Joey. You never thought you’d be doing this, leaving your family, going to college. There was a time when you thought your life would only ever be spying and killing, but as soon as Natasha came along you knew you’d be okay. She’d been there through it all. Holding you after every nightmare. Being by your side during each meltdown. Comforting you when the PTSD hit in your teenage years. She’d given you the life you never thought you would have.

Opening the door swiftly, you guided Joey up into the truck, making sure his tail was tucked away before closing the car door. “I gotta get going” you frowned. Natasha lifted your chin with her manicured fingers. “Hey, you know I’m always with you, wherever you are. If you need me, you call me and I’ll be there in seconds. It’s time for you to live your life y/n” she said as she gently ran her fingers through your hair. “You’ve already helped me to live my life mommy. I love you so much. You saved me” you cried softly. “Oh baby” Natasha said as she looked into your eyes “we saved each other”

————

And that’s it! The end of the WSEO series. Thank you for all the support on this story!🤍

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Taglist<3

@saraaahsstuff / @dannipotatoo / @tobiaslut / @nevaeh-daughterofvalcarol / @marvelnatasha12346 / @yelenasdiary / @mousetheorist / @ashadash0904 / @strange-night-owl / @kkreader78o / @hatergirl-69 / @asv-xx

[ohmygillygoshoppler]

Let's hear them secret scientist headcannons, Ma. Pretty please 🙏🥺

huehuheuheuhwlhbsjhbclah~ y’all know what it is, mostly rambling I wrote most of this waiting for the dentist lol

Drew (Audrey do not call her that omg Saturday)

Mama’s albino. Isee it with my eyes and just feel it in my bones. She’s pale, her hair is pale, I she even had baby blues in TGIS so, yeah. 

Drew isn’t a huge fan of chocolate, opposites since Mom Monday had a thing for cocoa. Maybe she doesn’t have a thing for sweets in general? Like I can see Drew as more of a FoodSnack person rather than SweetSnack person. She’ll be like, “I want a snack,” And spend like 2 hours prepping the stuff for a food item that will be gone in 20 minutes and somehow, she’ll find a way to convince Doc to “help” with the cleanup after.

She always wanted a big family, But only managed to have Zak. She loves her family regardless, it's just not the way she thought they'd be. I mean, come on; Her and Doc are so romantic all the time, like there’s no way they woulda stopped at just one. If she could have given Zak a sibling, she would have, but it wasn’t in the cards. So, adoption, lmao.

My girl is a mystic through and through but she is not mystically inclined. She could tear out her hair and make a deal with the devil, and still not be able to conjure her own magic at all, but she is so well versed in it, you’d think she was a sorcerer or something. (Maybe she could, oh I dunno, help her magical buddies out with that know-how, huh?)

Doc “Solomon” Saturday

My guy has some serious PTSD and OCD issues that he hasn’t quite sorted out, and I’ll bet he’s scared to go into it given all the times he’s started talking about it, only to immediately shut himself up about it.

Like, seriously, my man needs a therapist.

I’m laughing and wringing my hands together like Argost himself thinking about all the fun times we’re gonna have with mr. Magic Doesn’t Exist now that he’s gotta help his new Angel Daughter find her friends. Sorry Solomon, but you’re gonna have an aneurysm.

Doyle Blackwell  **Professional Uncle

Such a cool dude, he can’t drink alcohol because he’s too cool to get buzzed (he's allergic to alcohol and will turn beet red after one drink help this poor man)

I get a lot of, “I dont deserve an apartment,” vibes from this guy so I say he needs more “Chillin at home with the fam,” And less “Shitty hostels wherever the cheapest.” Also man needs a gf (or bf, ffs nobody want him fr!!11!)

He's bi, and I know cuz he told me lmao

Paul Cheechoo (Uncle Bear!👏🏼 Uncle Bear! 👏🏼Uncle Bear!👏🏼)

Okokokokok, so I am super super projecting here because Cheechoo deadass reminds me of an uncle who is A.) also native af, we’re not Inuit but were fuckin n8v; and B.) also a fuckin geologist lesgoooooo

So guys got a big family, huge actually. Lots of cousins and nieces and nephews and aunties and uncles and such- making it a bit hard and a bit sad keeping the whole Secret Scientist thing away from his family. Especially after the Weird world incident when he became withdrawn from them, fearing Argost might do something horrible to his kin. So, he kept mostly to himself, confiding only in his fellow scientists.

I feel like his sarcasm and friendly demeanor is so sweet and endearing, especially for someone so friggin big, I mean good god- Look at this man. The friendly giant trope always gets me, so what? BUT! That being said, I’d like to think that sometimes my guy forgets how big he is… Like, we’ve seen how this guy gets tossed around like a ragdoll, maybe he also forgets he’s a brick shithouse, given all the times he’s gotten his ass whooped.

Man is Golden Retriever coded, and I wanna eat him alive for it./pos

Arthur Fuckin Beeman

My man! *kills him again and again and again and again an-*

Also, I love how we all saw this man, we all looked at each other, and we all said, “Yeah, he's autistic af.” Like, it's very clear that this man’s brain works… differently from others.

My brother once said, Liaos from Dungeon Meshi if he didn’t want to eat the aliens he just wanted to hang out and honestly…. Werk.

Does this man deserve an arc? Not really, but do I wanna put him in a few fucked up situations? Hang him upside down and shake him till all his tokens fall out? Maybe. Maybe Zak’ll help me, too. Shit…

Miranda Grey (Big Grey)

Ooooooohohohohohohohohoooo~ We hardly got anything with you, Doctor. Which means I can do whatever, and I both hate and love that-

I know you love your sister~ I know you’re sad about her betrayal~~ I know you’re hurting, girly, I know your devastated inside and you can’t do anything about it because so much shit is falling apart around you and now your sister fucked over the only people you can call friends, fuck you Miranda! Eat shit and die! ILY!!

I reeeeeeaaaaly think she’s guilty about what she’s done to the Saturdays, especially Zak, so maybe she might try and say or do something to try and make amends, but how? Thats a good question… I wanna know too, lmao.

Abbey Grey (Little Grey)

Ooooooooooooooooh~~~

I have plans for you, stupid bitch……

Agent Ex husband

The scariest mfer in all existence, most stifled man in all existence, omg. If War were ever made a fucking human, Epsilon would be his fate, and holy fuck- Yeah. Stoic? Check. Bound by a strict code of ethics/honor? Check. Big As Shit? Check. Scary????? Umm, yeah. My mans a Horseman.

Wants to be loved. Wants to rest. Wants to have a cigarette for the first time in years. Wants some coffee with extra cream and sugar. Does he deserve it? No,not really. But he does need it. His soul needs a good kneading, like dough.

However, he is fucked up for the way he raised Francis and how he’s always shutting hom down and telling him how his thoughts don’t matter like, damn, just tell the boy he aint shit why dont you-

I feel like, if I give Francis an arc, Epsilon should have one too. I wanna know more about him- surprise surprise- and what makes him tick. We see in the show that there is some care for Francis, we see as much when he gets so mad at Francis for not quickly following his instructions, but that begs the question; does he actually care, or is he protecting his interests, so to speak? Lots to learn, lots to pick apart.

[ssahotstuff]

I hope you're having a great day/evening/night! Here's a bit of a head cannon, (with pictures!) for when Hotch has his black GF and meets her family (and stuff). This is a lot lmao, thanks for taking the time to read this 😅I'm sending this to all the black Hotch gworls to get y'all's opinions, I'm curious lol 

So, these kids? Your niece and nephew, twins, you call them double trouble because your sibling is always sending them for the tea. Aaron fell (easily) into the trap and now they're asking him a million questions. He takes them all in stride of course, because no one is coming to save him. 

Now this is your nephew from your older sibling, y'all all met up at the pumpkin patch and Hotch is trying to listen to the audio tour of the farm, but like the twins, he has taken to Hotch and won't leave him alone, but Hotch is happy to oblige him.

Of course we know who this is, but Aaron didn't know that she was your Auntie. (She's your youngest Aunt that kind of slipped in there later, so she's more of an older cousin). Of course he'd heard about her work, but you never mentioned her in that context, until she started working for the BAU. For her, it was like meeting Aaron all over again, she can be kind of forgetful, but he made sure she knew that he was "that white boy" from the cookout. She realizes almost immediately because she roasted him for reneging in spades, but she never put "SSA Aaron Hotchner" as the guy head over heels in love with her niece. It was like two different people.

The influence of being with you is bleeding into his wardrobe and poses, need I say more? (😂)

He asked Quavo for the picture, what more can I say? (I feel like he knows Fight Night word for word, bar for bar.) 

Thoughts, changes, add ons?

JESUS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THESE PICTURES OF HIM MADE MY DAY

I have a HUGE family (23 brothers and sisters and probably 60 cousins, along with so many nieces and nephews that it isn’t funny) so imagining bringing him to meet all of them at a family reunion would be WILD. The kids have so many questions; why is he wearing a suit for starters? They take turns wearing his sunglasses and they even ask to wear his badge, proudly showing it off as they run around the yard and play 🥹

Aaron is so good at spades and your uncles immediately make him a part of their circle. He sits at the table with them while they keep an eye on the kids playing, drinking bitter scotch and playing spades while you work in the kitchen with your grams and your aunts and older cousins; he’s already a part of the family traditions and they accept him so easily it makes you so happy that they all get along

You and your Aunt Tara basically share a brain. You were her shadow growing up, wanting to be just like her even though you took your own path. You have no clue she and Aaron know each other but she makes sure he knows you’re her favorite niece and he better not hurt you! She’s so protective but she knows Aaron will always take care of you and keep you safe 🥰

The pumpkin patch 😩💕 the boy in the photo reminds me of my nephew Davien, they both have the same smile it made me miss him so much 😭 by the end of the day, he’s riding on Aaron’s shoulders, calling him Uncle Aaron ��🥹 he spoils him ALL DAY LONG, buying him souvenirs and snacks any time he bats his eyelashes, which turns Aaron into MUSH! You start making visits a regular occurrence because he’s always asking about Aaron and when he can see him again 💕

It’s no secret that Aaron has good taste but you start buying him clothes just because and soon he adopts your style; you have matching timberland boots and so many matching pairs of sneakers that it isn’t funny(however the first time you surprise him with a pair of Nikes, he almost loses his mind and the price, so he starts ordering you matching pairs so you’re not paying for them) even the people at work are noticing his new change of style, complimenting his colorful polos and the shoes that match. Derek would be like 🤔 the first time he saw him in a pair of exclusive sneakers, maybe some that are retro and cool as hell and super expensive because he didn’t realize Aaron was the type to dress in anything other than a suit and leather shoes.

The picture of him and Quavo made me smile so big. He LOVES Migos, but especially Fight Night. You both sing them so loud in the car, making up your own ad libs, and to no one’s surprise, he has incredible rhythm(because dancing) and you love that you can vibe together on long drives! His playlist is so similar to yours now that you can barely tell them apart.

Also! Back to family gatherings! My family has me cook the majority of the food for every function because I can throw DOWN in the kitchen, but so can Aaron, and when your Grams finds out he made the collared greens this year, she’s hesitant at first but after one bite she’s like “honey you gotta keep him around, he put hot sauce in the greens” and you’re like 🤭 because you taught him the trick but you don’t say anything because it gets him so many more points with your family that you let him take credit 🥰

Also Aaron excusing himself from the card table to help y’all clean up in the kitchen 😘 your auntie talks about what a gentleman he is, how glad she is to see a man helping as he loads the dishwasher, but he’s only doing it because he’s barely seen you all day and he wants to be close to you 😩

I absolutely loved this. Aaron getting to know the family literally gives me butterflies

[phoenixyfriend]

The Family Tree is... a Disaster

Takes place in the TCW Leverage AU. It does contain a few deviations, namely that the narrative ended up shifting Plo's role in Ahsoka's life, and Ventress's role overall.

This is mostly just dialogue where I outline the fuckery that is the disaster lineage family tree, not actual fic. It stemmed from my incessant need to justify "25yo Obi-Wan somehow got custody of 9yo Anakin without Shmi dying."

Warnings for: canon character death (modernized), canon violence (modernized), and references to Nazis and white supremacists (Palpatine collects WWII weaponry as a parallel to his canon display of Sith artifacts in his office as chancellor, and Ahsoka thinks it's sketchy)

----

"Okay," Cody says, setting down a glass of whiskey as he drops into the seat across the table. "What the hell is your family tree like?"

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow, and continues cleaning off the definitely-not-stolen crystal komodo dragon he'd won in today's job. "I beg your pardon?"

"You and Skywalker," Cody says, gesturing between Obi-Wan, who is just sitting there minding his own business, and Anakin, who is across the closed-for-tonight bar and doing something inadvisable on the pool table. "You've said he was your brother, and mentioned raising him, which, sure, I'm over twenty years older than my youngest brother, people take over parenting roles all the time. But you have different last names, have mentioned stepfamilies that the other doesn't have, reference things as 'your aunt, not mine,' and I am just getting... very confused. I figured it was personal and I could leave well enough alone, but considering your older brother almost shot us today--"

"Okay, Xanatos is not my brother," Obi-Wan immediately says. "Just. I just have to stop you right there. Xanatos was a student of my father's for a time, but I promise he's not family. Nobody except maybe Komari would consider him even close, and she doesn't count since she's in prison for life and the farthest thing from stable."

Cody gestures. "That, Obi-Wan. That's what I'm talking about. I don't even know who Komari is."

Obi-Wan purses his lips in a failed attempt to not smile. "Do you actually want the explanation? It's long and unnecessarily complicated."

"So's mine," Cody snorts. Obi-Wan waits, patient and pleasant, and is rewarded when Cody sighs. "Please."

"Of course, my dear. To answer your first question, though, Anakin is my half-brother." With a smile, Obi-Wan digs a piece of paper and a pen from his briefcase. "So, center of the chain: me, my father Qui-Gon, my grandfather Yan, and my great-grandfather Yoda. With me so far?"

"Easy enough. Do you have to go back that far?"

"Great-grandfather Yoda is still alive and regularly escaping the old folks' home to terrorize younger relatives, so yes," Obi-Wan says. "Given that you may just meet a tiny, meddling relative of mine when he's bored, we do in fact have to go back that far."

"...how old is he?"

"We don't know for sure. A hundred and eight-ish is the best guess." Obi-Wan shrugs. "It's not a huge deal, mostly he likes bothering Anakin these days. Anyway, grandfather. Yan Dooku. Inherited a minory duchy from his maternal grandfather decades back. Mostly hangs around there because he's on terrorist watchlists in the States."

"Oh, lovely."

Obi-Wan grins. "Trust me, it gets worse. Anyway, grandfather never actually married, but spent most of his time with his 'best friend' Sifo Dyas, who died about a decade back."

"Gay?"

"Well, we know that now, but they got together in the seventies, and this was back when they were both working government jobs, so, you know. It happens."

"Good to know," Cody says. "So, Yoda's kid is Yan, who inherited a title and land from a maternal relative, and had a life partner but never married. With you so far."

"All of Yan's kids were adopted," Obi-Wan continues, sketching out the first branch away from the Yan/Sifo partnership. "Rael was actually grandfather's cousin, maternally, and ended up in his custody after getting orphaned at five. These days, he does most of the stewardship duties at the Serenno Duchy. His daughter Nim is teaching military history at a university in Germany."

Cody nods. "Uncle number one is named Rael, technically your dad's cousin, has a daughter. Got it."

"About a decade after Rael, they adopted my father, Qui-Gon. He and grandfather fought, frequently, but they did care for each other. My father was a botanist, did bio-engineering. We'll get back to him later, because he's where things get complicated." Obi-Wan made sure to leave room around the name. "Just a few years older than me was--is--Komari Vosa. She is... serving a life sentence. I think she fought Jango once."

"She fought my father?"

"To the best of my knowledge, they both almost died, yes," Obi-Wan says. "She's in maximum security these days. She was an assassin. I'll get a call if she breaks out, and I'll let you know along with everyone else."

"Bad news auntie, got it."

"Last adoption, sort of, is Ventress," Obi-Wan finishes off. "A few years younger than me, is technically grandfather's personal assistant and does secretarial work and the like, but we all know he's planning to leave as much of the inheritance to her as he is to the rest of us. She's aggressive and unpleasant, but she takes care of him and hasn't actually threatened to kill any of us yet, so that's fine."

"How'd she join?" Cody asks.

"Ky Narec was a friend of Qui-Gon's; Ventress was his daughter. Ky died a few years after Qui-Gon did, and Ventress was a mess, after." Obi-Wan shrugs and scratches that connection into the little sketch of a family tree as well. "Grandfather offered her a job until she got herself back together, and then she just kind of... stuck around."

"Youngest aunt, more of a cousin." Cody summarizes. "Now we go back to your father?"

"Qui-Gon Jinn was a man of many skills," Obi-Wan says drily. "Adequate birth control was not one of them."

It's almost a pity that Cody wasn't drinking anything, because going by the way he chokes, Obi-Wan's pretty sure the spit take would have been spectacular.

"I'm sorry," Cody says. "Can you repeat that?"

"I was an accident," Obi-Wan says, not even bothering to hide his smile. "So was Anakin."

"So that sounds like... a story."

"It is," Obi-Wan confirms. "My biological mother has never been in the picture. They had a fling, she wasn't sure if she'd want to abort or give me up, just that she wasn't ready to be a parent, and Qui-Gon volunteered to take full custody so she could go back to her life after the birth. I've never met her, but I kept her family name. You can consider her irrelevant beyond that."

Cody nods.

"So, when I was about a year old, Qui-Gon reconnects with an old flame, they get married two years later. Step-mother number one is Tahl. Lovely woman, I absolutely adored her, and she had a daughter, my stepsister, Bant Eerin."

"I met her, right?" Cody asks.

"Yes, she was the doctor who patched up my bullet wound a few months ago," Obi-Wan says. "With the giant glasses that make her look a little fish-eyed."

"She was nice."

"She is," Obi-Wan agrees. "At any rate, that was our family for a while, and then Tahl died when I was fourteen. Bant wanted to go to a magnet school for medical studies, and Qui-Gon's grief was... not optimal for taking care of multiple teenagers, shall we say, so Bant moved in with her paternal uncle, Kit Fisto, and Kit's son Nahdar. He's a marine biologist, incredibly friendly, and has no idea of any of the rest of my side of the family's questionable activities. If you ever meet him, you will pretend that we are a legal firm with a team of security consultants."

Cody raises a brow. Obi-Wan despairs. "Best you could do?"

"We're not that likely to run into him." Obi-Wan draws out a new line. "So, Qui-Gon deals poorly with grief. This is also around the time that Xanatos came around to ruin our lives a little. He was a very rich and unpleasant man, but he's dead as of four hours ago, so you don't have to worry about him. Or his son."

"His son?"

"Anakin handled that," Obi-Wan says. "Thoroughly. Granta Omega is no longer an issue. He's not dead, but... well. Anakin has his ways. Er--I should probably mention Feemor; he was my father's assistant at the university for a long time. Anakin and I still call him our uncle."

"Also a person to avoid mentioning criminal activity to?" Cody prompts.

"Well... no, but only because I don't think he'd care. The man is, forgive me, more of a 'walking sweatervest' than I am. He's a very bland and unassuming man. He once described himself as the background character of the soap opera that is my family's existence."

"Sounds like a charmer."

"Oh, he's very kind and clever, and witty as well. I adore him, and he really is family. He's just also very, very normal. Not boring, but..." Obi-Wan trails off and shrugs helplessly. "He's an editor for an agricultural research journal. Also not someone I anticipate us running into."

"Noted."

"Right, so, Qui-Gon dealing poorly with his grief didn't involve much drinking, but there were a few months of him trying to... lose himself in the pleasures of the flesh?" Obi-Wan tries, and then deflates at the look on Cody's face. "He was slagging around. Shmi got pregnant with Anakin, who was born when I was sixteen. Shared custody at first, Qui-Gon got him weekends and every other holiday, that sort of thing, and then they got married because they actually did like each other well enough, and it was easier on the taxes."

"So Shmi is stepmother number two."

"Shmi is stepmother number two, yes." Obi-Wan sketches in Anakin and Shmi. "About nine and a half years after Anakin was born, Shmi and Qui-Gon were in a car accident with... well, it later turned out it wasn't an accident, there was a hitman called Maul involved, he's actually Ventress's second cousin or something, I don't know. Grandfather handled most of that problem. Qui-Gon died, Shmi was in intensive care, and I got custody of Anakin as his nearest adult relative. We weren't very close before that, because I was off at university by the time he was old enough to form memories, but that changed once he started living with me. I more or less raised him as a single parent from that point."

"This is why he jokes that you're like a father to him."

"Precisely," Obi-Wan says. "Shmi took about a year to recover enough to move again, and grandfather covered the costs. She still had to live with a dedicated carer and attend daily physical therapy. At that physical therapy, she met Cliegg Lars, whose son Owen was also a patient there. They hit it off, and three years later, they married. When Anakin refers to his stepfamily he's talking about the Lars out in Nevada."

"Nevada?"

"They have a farm. A very, very normal one. We don't drag them into our activities, unless we have an at-risk person who needs a safe house." Obi-Wan pauses, and then decides this really needs to be stressed. "This is important to me and Anakin, that we don't get them involved unless there's absolutely no other choice. Shmi's been through a lot, and the Lars are busy enough running the farm."

"Works for me," Cody says. "We've got enough safe houses that it shouldn't be an issue. I'm guessing this story doesn't end there, though."

Obi-Wan grimaces. "My own love life has been... a bit of a mess."

"I already know about Kryze, at least."

There's that. "I was temporarily engaged to a friend, Siri Tachi, shortly after high school. We were in a relationship, but this was mostly something done to appease a relative of hers that was getting overbearing to the point of absurdity, and she couldn't just cut them off. We broke off the engagement after the relative passed, and we're still friends."

He notes that down, then adds the other embarrassment of his early years. "First marriage was actually a drunken joke between myself and my best friend when we were in college. We got it annulled a few months later because we just didn't have time to drop by the courthouse before then, and he's actually engaged to Asajj now."

"Asajj?" Cody asks, watching in fascination as Obi-Wan tries to mark in both his own short marriage and the newer, long-term engagement without crossing any lines. He settles for just writing the name twice and including an asterisk with 'this is the same person.'

"Ventress," Obi-Wan clarifies. "Yeah, Quinlan's a fun guy. His little sister, Aayla, treats Anakin like a beloved younger cousin."

"Are they also off-limits for criminal activity?"

"No, Aayla's the one that taught Ahsoka how to vent-crawl," Obi-Wan says. "And I'm pretty sure Quinlan has contacts in every major government branch, criminal organization, and Fortune 500 company on the planet. I reach out to them regularly."

"Resources, then."

Obi-Wan nods. "Some time later, I married Satine. We had a son; you've met Korkie. We split due to incompatibility a year and change before Qui-Gon's death. Satine doesn't engage in criminal activity, but Bo-Katan is..."

"I've met Bo-Katan. I know what she's like, Obi. You don't have to explain."

"She works with Maul sometimes."

"...the man who killed your father?"

"Yes. It's all very stupid and convoluted." Obi-Wan still writes her in. "So, that's them. Korkie goes to boarding school, and I try not to involve him in anything. Anakin and Ahsoka like to teach him self-defense and the like, but Satine is adamant that he stay unaware of my less legal dealings until he's an adult."

Cody shrugs. "Makes sense. Is that every--wait, no, Skywalker's married."

Obi-Wan grins. "Yes, and Padme's got twins on the way."

"I was there when he told us," Cody says drily. "He was very loud about it. Okay, how does Ahsoka fit in?"

"Hold on, I forgot Beru," Obi-Wan mutters. "Owen's fiancee. Same rules as the Lars. Okay, you asked about Ahsoka. Right. So. Um."

He dithers. Cody waits for him, and then Obi-Wan just gives up. "Ahsoka, dear, would you like to explain how you joined the family, so to speak?"

Ahsoka looks up from whatever she and the boys are doing--there are multiple beer glasses and straws and duct tape involved, and Obi-Wan doesn't really want to know--and then flips off the table and over to Obi-Wan and Cody. She looks over the family tree chart, and then says, "Oooh, did you tell him about the cult?"

"You were in a cult?" Cody demands.

"No, Komari was. She was head priestess or something. I dunno, it's why she's in prison and stuff."

"I did not tell him about the cult," Obi-Wan mutters, already regretting this. "The Bando Gora aren't a problem anymore. I've already gotten to explaining how you and Anakin know each other."

Ahsoka rolls her eyes, steals his pen, and starts sketching in around Quinlan's name, over by Asajj since Obi-Wan's section is too crowded. "Okay, so, Quinlan's adopted. His dad is Tholme, and Tholme's dad is Plo Koon. Plo Koon is good friends with my Auntie, Shaak Ti, who raised me. They live next door to each other, out in the country, and I'd play in his yard a lot, because he had puppies, and he took me to visit his bees. Whenever Auntie needed a babysitter, she asked Quinlan or Aayla to do it since she knew and trusted them, and Aayla needed pocket money."

"This is so unnecessarily complicated," Cody mutters.

"It is!" Ahsoka chirps. Her grin is far too sharp. "So, this one time, Aayla was watching me when I was fourteen, and she was just helping me with my physics homework. BAM, the door slams open, and in stumbled Skyguy with his arm missing. I've never met him before, and my first introduction is him shortly after he's gotten an unplanned amputation."

Anakin, on the other side of the room, giggles. Obi-Wan just sighs. The Fett brothers appear to be in the land of 'horrified fascination.'

Ahsoka revels in it. "There's blood everywhere, I'm screaming, Aayla's panicking, Anakin's halfway to unconscious and insisting we can't call the hospital, and nobody can get Obi-Wan on the phone. Quinlan's in another country, and Auntie Shaak and Uncle Plo are at a movie, so they've both got their cellphones off. Tholme was faking his death at that point to get away from an incident with the Irish Mob, so we didn't even try him."

"What the actual fuck," Rex breathes.

Ahsoka continues with relish. "We get Bant to pick up, and she's there an hour later with Padme, because Padme knows how to drive the way Skyguy does, and the entire drive there is just Auntie Bant on speakerphone telling Aayla how to stop the bleeding and get him stabilized while Padme's screaming at traffic at the top of her lungs."

"I owe Aayla a fruit basket," Anakin muses aloud. "The anniversary of her saving my life is coming up, it's warranted."

"Five years, baby!" Ahsoka crows. She fist-pumps.

Obi-Wan just drops his head into his hands. "You're killing me, children."

Anakin shrugs, grinning. "You know, I think Fett Senior might have been involved in that fight."

"My shitty dad cut off your arm?" Rex demands.

"No, I think he was busy fighting the Interpol guy," Anakin says. "But he was definitely there. I think. Blood loss kinda got to me after a bit, but I'm pretty sure Jango Fett was there, and also Boba might've been hiding in the getaway car?"

"I need another glass," Cody mutters. He doesn't stand up, though.

"Wait," Rex says. "So who cut off your arm?"

Anakin shrugs with an unsure noise. "Someone tried to convince me it was Grandpa Yan, but he was in the middle of a court case in Italy for some kind of parole violation when it happened, so he had an alibi."

"...did he actually violate parole?" Cody asks, and Obi-Wan thinks he looks like he doesn't know if he actually wants an answer.

Ahsoka shrugs. So does Anakin. Obi-Wan carefully looks at a spot behind Cody, and doesn't explain anything about wine tastings used as covers for illicit arms deals.

"The arm?" Rex prompts, sounding a little desperate to get back to the question he likely thinks is the most important.

"I still say it was Skeevy Sheev," Ahsoka chimes in.

"It wasn't Palpatine," Anakin snaps.

"Your creepy older friend who took you to operas and gives you fancy gifts and knows way too much about swords who was conveniently there to talk to the police and cover for you so you didn't get arrested for getting in the middle of a gang war in the first place, yes," Ahsoka says, dropping into a chair and sighing dramatically. "The guy who definitely hasn't been trying to convince you for a year and change that your wife is cheating on you with your older brother."

"Ahsoka!"

"What? He is."

"Anakin," Rex says, "your life sounds like a trainwreck."

"I'm not going to assume a frail, elderly man cut my arm off!" Anakin protests. "Even if he wanted to, he doesn't exactly have the muscle for it!"

"Grandfather's older," Obi-Wan points out, even though he knows it won't help. "And he definitely still could."

"Ha!" Ahsoka shouts.

"He could have hired someone?" Cody suggests. "Doesn't need to do it himself, if he has enough money."

Obi-Wan has a sneaking suspicion that Cody is deliberately stirring the pot as revenge for Anakin sending him eighty-seven cat memes inside an hour during last night's dinner.

"You all suck," Anakin declares. "Also, what the hell do you mean 'knows way too much about swords,' Ahsoka? You know way too much about swords!"

"Yeah, but I'm like ninety-percent sure that his antiques are Prussian and mid-century German military officer dress uniform relics, and pairing that with the Nazi pistols he's got on display--"

"He's just a history buff! And his family's German, of course he prioritizes that region, it's not like he doesn't have Russian or French or English antiques in there too, it's all sides of the war and--"

"I'm just saying he's almost definitely sending me sketchy glances like he thinks I'm planning to steal the silver on the three occasions you've had me with you when you stop by, and I'm pretty sure it's got less to do with my criminal record and more to do with me being, you know, not white."

Anakin looks ready to blow, so Obi-Wan interrupts. "Ahsoka, you were explaining how Anakin passing out on Aayla and scaring us all half to death led to your friendship?"

Ahsoka blinks at him, and then sticks her tongue out at Anakin and turns back to the chart. "So basically, Skyguy had to recuperate in Uncle Plo's living room for a week or two, and I kept showing up to bother him because he was bored and nobody would give him a laptop for 'security reasons,' because he had to lay low and stuff. He made me help him sketch out designs for a prosthesis and do all the writing for the math he had to do for the 3D printer, and we got to chatting."

Ahsoka hops up and back onto a table, legs swinging below her. "I decided he was cool and started following him around while he was getting used to only having one hand, mostly because I was bored. He showed me how to hotwire a car, and explained the best places to put a bug if you were looking to make it sneaky, and he picked my pocket to show off so many times when he was walking around Uncle Plo's house that I made him teach me that, too. And, uh, then Aayla found out and they got into a shouting match about it and decided they both needed to teach me parkour so I could get out of any mess I got myself into, since I was obviously going to follow them into a life of crime."

"And you did," Anakin says, far too proudly. "You're the best thief in this half of the country."

"Only because Aayla moved out east."

Anakin rolls his eyes and pulls Ahsoka into his side, digging his knuckles into her skull. "Best thief! You are the best thief! Be proud of yourself!"

"Let go!"

"Never!"

Obi-Wan sighed heavily and rubbed at his forehead. "Children, please."

"You're not my dad," Ahsoka growls out at him. "Skyguy, I'm going to bite you!"

"Good luck, the only arm you can access is the one that's going to break your teeth."

Ahsoka shrieks in outrage and stomps on Anakin's instep.

It's almost funny, for all that Obi-Wan's seen it play out a million times before, but the really interesting part is seeing Rex's look of fond dismay.

Obi-Wan thinks he might be adding a branch out to the Fetts soon. He's not actually sure if Rex is interested in Anakin or Ahsoka, and he's smack dab between them in age, so that's not a help either, but... well. The expression is familiar enough.

"Please tell me you don't match-make," Cody mutters to him.

"No, I plan to let the pieces fall where they will," Obi-Wan responds, just as low, and far more amused. "I'm simply trying to predict where those landings are to be."

Cody looks at him, and then back at the roughhousing trio, and sighs heavily. "You know, I really didn't think that you technically being minor royalty was going to be the least convoluted thing in your story, Obi-Wan."

He laughs, because it's true. "I'm first in line to inherit the title, since Rael denounced his claim. Nim isn't interested, and Qui-Gon's dead, so... I'm next."

Cody makes a face. "Delightful. I'm guessing that's not a connection we can safely make use of."

"No more than the Kryze or Naberries, I'm afraid." Obi-Wan claps him on the shoulder. "Chin up, I've plenty others in the metaphorical rolodex, all far less legitimate and far more amenable to work with our little outfit."

"Rolodex, really?" Cody snorts. "You're not that old."

Obi-Wan smiles winningly. "You don't know how old I am, Cody. All my IDs are fake."

"Anakin's twenty-four, and you're sixteen years older than him, going by the story you just told me," Cody points out. "I do know how to do basic math, Obi-Wan."

"I had to try," Obi-Wan admits. "I threw a lot of information at you all at once; I'd hoped you missed some of the ages in there."

"I have eight brothers," Cody scoffs. "And literally dozens of cousins, plus niblings, uncles, aunts, and so on. I have experience on this."

"If I asked you to list of the age of every single relative you have, you'd be able to do it?"

"Do you want me to draw a chart? I can draw a chart."

Obi-Wan can't help but laugh. "I'd be delighted, my dear."

Cody rolls his eyes, but Obi-Wan thinks--it's hard to tell in the dimmed lights of the closed bar--that there's a hint of a blush on the man's face. Obi-Wan lets himself slouch to the side, drops his head to rest on one fist, indolent debauchery in every line of his body. Cody does his best to ignore him, but Obi-Wan knows how to smile lazily and blink slowly and draw a man in.

(The whole 'indolent debauchery in every line of his body' phrasing is Anakin's, from back when he was a teenager trying to read highbrow literature to impress a cute girl... and to come up with new insults for his older brother.)

"So," Cody says, with a cough meant to somehow distract Obi-Wan from whatever's showing on the man's face. "Why, uh, why is your grandfather on terrorist watchlists?"

"Well, he didn't initially do anything," Obi-Wan says. "He was just a gay man who didn't hide it quite well enough, and had too much money and too white a face for someone to just call the cops on a faulty report. The Red Scare was technically over by that point, I think, but if a few people made suggestions that he was more loyal to the country that gave him a noble title than to the United States... he received a few warnings, of course, and it could have all blown over..."

"But?"

"But my grandfather is not a man to do things by halves, and instead decided that if the government was to list him as a threat, then he would oblige and make himself a threat," Obi-Wan finishes. "Living up to their labels, rolling with the assumptions, whatever you'd like to call it. It all irked him, and so he made some incredibly questionable decisions to make the government's lives harder. Some weren't bad, like donating to anti-war foundations that were protesting the Gulf War and the interventions in Yugoslavia, that sort of thing, and some were... nobody really looks well on gunrunning, you know."

"For fuck's sake..."

"Indeed," Obi-Wan chuckles. "Ironically, he has minimal opinion on the optimal form of economics, for all that virulent xenophobia and the remnants of anti-communism were involved in the whole mess. He just wanted to create problems for the people that were causing him problems."

Cody shakes his head. "I want to judge that, but you've met my father."

"Jango Fett is, indeed, also not a man to do things by halves," Obi-Wan agrees, attempting to nod gravely but breaking into a smile at the end. "That man is absurd."

"At least he's not dragging Boba into it anymore," Cody mutters. He drags over the fresh sheet of paper and pen that Obi-Wan offers him. "Okay, right, let's start with Jaster..."

[autumnslance]

Enablers.

The bullet points of very general ideas I noodled with for wolkids AU (along with a tad bit of pregnancy choices talk) and maybe some screenshots below the cut.

Aeryn very much has never wanted to be pregnant. She's not afraid of it, just no desire to ever go through it. So when she finds out there's serious consideration of not going through with it. Adopting infants, small kids, pre-teens, adolescents, she's more than happy to do! But carrying? Hrm...

(And an adoption of one or two will happen anyway over time once Domesticity settles in.)

Thancred is...not happy that's an option she's considering; he's terrified but also excited by the idea of fatherhood, of family (especially after all his screw ups with Ryne, but also how they were able to fix much of that in the end). He'd rather keep it, but it's Aeryn's choice and he respects that. Still, it's a friction point for them.

Aeryn, being Aeryn, needs time to think about it and consider those options, especially since her partner's on a different page. After all she's got a bit of time to decide, right?

Doing everyday things together, things are a bit tense, and then Aeryn's like "Theoretically, if we were to have a baby, where would we want to raise them?" And they end up debating the merits and issues in the various regions of Eorzea.

(Aeryn vetoes Coerthas immediately. They think about the other city-states, but also the Politics given who they are; Mor Dhona's outside all of that but a rough frontier still. Thancred champions Sharlayan for educational opportunities, the space program, and how it's opened up to the outside since the Final Days and Aeryn agrees that'd be all right but you do realize Ameliance would decide she's Auntie, Thancred says it works cuz Fourchenault's kinda of like a dickish older brother, anyway.)

"Theoretical" what-if conversations keep happening as Aeryn "is still thinking about it" as days turn to weeks. By the time they get to discussing Names, Thancred's pretty sure she's made up her mind and just hasn't admitted it to herself yet.

(She insists they use the name Waters. Hers has too much weight, and she saw what a legacy-heavy name did the Leveilleur twins when they were young. Any kid of Thancred and Aeryn will have enough Issues to deal with. Besides, who cares about the "legacy" of her family name when they can create something new using the one Thancred was gifted?)

(They also eventually settle on a couple simpler Thavnairian names that wouldn't be out of place in Eorzea)

And then yeah, it's too late so oh well guess this is happening!

She's really irked with him though when it's twins.

("My understanding is it's usually the mother's side where such...right, I'm going to go crash on Urianger's couch.")

"Definitely not doing this again."

Fraternal boy & girl pairing cuz I'm a sucker for tropes like that. They don't look so alike as certain other twins though.

The boy looks a lot like his dad but with tanner skin, a bit blonder hair, and his mama's eyes. Also is taller than his dad; not quite max midlander, but slider's at 80. Striker height. Thancred's average adult man height leaves him comparatively short once more.

The girl looks a lot like her mom, but slightly lighter skin, her daddy's eyes, and a bit of his nose, too. Tall (for a midlander) like her mom.

(Auntie Rashae: "Gods Aer, they're too skinny" "I KNOW!")

They end up adventurers of course (not sure what disciplines), alongside their adopted siblings and other Scion kid "cousins", sometimes running into people who knew their parents but they got their own things to deal with and their own names to make, it's fine. Really. Honestly.

(is there anyone in the realm Mom doesn't know?! And why are half the older women in Thanalan so irked by mention of Dad...?)

Not sure what's up with all the fairies and dragons, though. May ask Mom later.

Anyway that's what I've got. And some fiddling in Benchmark CharGen cuz it was maintenance and I was bored.

Mostly took Thancred's chardata and adjusted a couple things, then took Aeryn and adjusted a couple other things.

[live-the-fangirl-life]

The Last One

The Court - Throne of Glass x FRIENDS - Fic Series

S10, E17/18 : Rowan, after realizing he's still in love with Aelin, chases her down, refusing to let her go. Meanwhile, Elide and Lorcan welcome their baby...or babies, into the world.

Episode chosen for Rowaelin Month 2021. Day 12: Delayed Love Confession

Fic Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Read on Ao3 | Rowaelin Month Masterlist

Warnings: Language, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Birth

7860 words

*******

Rowan woke up to the bed shifting. He cracked an eye open, still cloudy with sleep, and watched Aelin sit on the opposite edge while she pulled her shirt over her head, concealing the bare expanse of her back.

“Hey.” He croaked, voice still rough.

She turned and gave him a soft smile, whispering, “Go back to sleep, I have to go home.”

Rowan wanted nothing more than for Aelin to never leave his bed, but he knew she had things to do so instead he said, “Oh, okay.” He reached a hand across the sheets and grabbed hers, “Last night was amazing.”

She finished putting on one of her shoes and looked back at him with that same soft smile, “It really was.”

Rowan tried to read the emotions that flashed across her face but then she was standing and bending over to draw him into one last kiss. Her palm rested on his cheek while his gently cupped the back of her head before they pulled away. Rowan kept his eyes on Aelin as she left his room and he didn’t fall back onto his pillow until he heard the sound of his apartment door clicking shut behind her.

***

Elide was scared. Scratch that—terrified. Elide was terrified, but she kept her calm as best as she could while she held Asterin’s hand.

Elide had thanked all the gods she could name for Asterin coming into her and Lorcan’s lives. After getting married and enjoying the first few months of bliss, she and Lorcan decided to try having a baby, but after months of negative pregnancy tests and too many doctors visits, they were told it likely would never happen for them. Devastated, they thought through their options and settled on adoption. But even then, they knew it would take some time.

Elide remembered some afternoons spending hours sitting by the phone desperately hoping it would ring and be someone from the adoption agency to tell them they’d been picked. When they’d finally gotten the call and met Asterin, a young woman who was looking for the perfect parents for her baby, they knew it was meant to be.

Now, standing in the delivery room, Elide held Asterin’s hand as the woman powered through another contraction.

“Breathe, breathe, breathe,” Elide coached encouragingly, “good.”

“Are you fully taking over, or do I get to say breathe?” Lorcan asked as he walked to Elide’s side beside the bed.

She scoffed and tilted her head to meet his eyes. “No. Last time, you said it like a sociopath, and it creeped her out.” She turned back towards Asterin who looked tired, “Can I get you anything? Ice chips?”

“No,” Asterin shook her head, “I’m okay.”

Elide nodded and smiled, “Alright, I’ll be right back.”

As she started to walk out of the room, Lorcan’s hand shot out and gripped her elbow, stopping her.

“Where are you going?” He asked. She could almost detect a hint of nerves as he spoke.

Elide raised a brow, “To the bathroom.”

Lorcan lowered his voice so that only Elide could hear. “You can't leave me alone with her.”

“What?” She asked incredulously.

Lorcan ran a hand through his long hair, and now she could definitely see nervousness etched across his face. “This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with” he grumbled.

Elide snorted, “What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?”

He leveled a stare at her. “It's just that we've never spent any time, you know, alone together.”

Elide rolled her eyes at her husband, “You’ll be fine,” she took a step and turned back, giving him a small smirk, “No, you won't, but I'll be back in two minutes.”

Lorcan sighed but grumbled okay.

He walked back over to the woman lying in the hospital bed, trying his best to seem calm, but by the grimace she shot him, he wasn't doing a very good job.

“So, uh,” He grasped for something to say, “any plans for the summer?”

“I don't know, maybe travel? I wanna do some flying again.”

Lorcan hummed, still not sure what to say. If Elide had still been in the room, she’d have laughed at how ridiculous he looked. Standing well above six feet, with his hands fidgeting and swaying on his toes from being so uncomfortable in the moment.

“So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?” Lorcan asked the first thing that came to mind and immediately regretted it. He should've just kept his mouth shut.

“What?” Asterin asked, her eyebrows scrunching in disbelief.

“I mean, uh,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “One of life's great, unanswerable questions. I mean, who knows? Maybe there's something even more painful than those things?” Lorcan cringed and suggested, “like this.”

***

Lysandra walked into Fenrys’ apartment to see him holding two small fuzzy animals.

“Good morning,” She said hesitantly.

“Hey!” Fenrys grinned, lifting up the creatures.

“What's that?” Aedion asked, following Lysandra into the room.

Fenrys grinned, “It's my house-warming present for Elide and Lorcan.”

Lysandra and Aedion shared a look.

“It's a baby chick and duck,” Lysandra said, unnecessarily. “You know they’re living in the suburbs right?”

“Uh-huh,” Fenrys nodded, “And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr.”

Aedion snorted, “I didn’t see that coming.”

“Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know?” Fenrys set the animals down, “It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Lorcan took the other chick and duck to.”

Lysandra raised a brow at Fenrys and hummed, unable to say what she actually wanted to say.

Aedion barely held in a grin as he nodded sagely to Lysandra and mocked, “Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there.”

Fenrys was cut off as Rowan showed up and joined them in the apartment,

“Guess what?” Lysandra whirled on Rowan, smiling, “we’re almost all aunties and uncles!”

“What?” Rowan asked, confused.

“Yeah,” Fenrys said, “Asterin went into labor last night. Elide and Lorcan are at the hospital right now!”

“Oh, my gods.” Rowan grinned at the thought of a massive Lorcan holding a tiny baby. He shook his head, glancing around, “Is Aelin here?”

Fenrys glanced towards Aelin’s room, “Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you.”

Rowan couldn’t—wouldn’t—suppress his smile as he thought about the night before. Being with Aelin again was better than he remembered, and he cursed himself for all the time they’d missed out on.

“Yeah, we, uh, we worked things out.”

Lysandra’s eyes widened as she watched him, “What's that smile? Did something happen with you two?”

Rowan chuckled, “Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell,” then he muttered, “but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up.”

Apparentally, his last words weren't as quiet as he thought.

Aedion groaned, wincing “Dude, that's my cousin.”

Rowan ignored Aedion as Fernys laughed, “Oh my gods, You and Aelin?”

“I know, it's great.” Rowan didn't think his grin could get any wider.

Lysandra hugged him, squealing, “So what does that mean? Are you guys getting back together?”

“I…” He trailed off, frowning. They hadn’t actually talked about it before Aelin had left earlier that morning. “I don't know. We didn't really get to talk about it.”

“But do you wanna get back together?” She pushed.

Rowan didn’t hesitate as he said with certainty, “Yeah, I do. it just felt so right. When I was holding her, I mean, I never wanted to let her go. I want to be together.”

Lysandra, Aedion, and Ferys all had matching smiles as they listened to Rowan.

Then Fenrys spoke up and Rowan felt himself deflate.

“So is she still going to Paris?” He asked, still holding the small animals.

Rowan had been so caught up in the happiness of last night and that morning that he’d completely forgot the reason why he and Aelin had been so emotionally worked up their argument caused the tension to finally snap, leading them to spend the night together.

Aelin had been offered an amazing job. A perfect job. Perfect, except for the fact that it was in Paris and not New York

She'd had said goodbye to each of their friends. Except him. She’d cried and laughed and reminisced with all of them. Except for Rowan.

He’d been so upset, so angry. How could Aelin not have anything to say to him, after all these years, after all they’d been through?

When he’d confronted her, she’d told him, devastated, “If you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me.”

He’d stopped her, not needing to hear anymore as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in for a searing kiss. She’d been shocked, unprepared for Rowan’s actions. She’d stepped away, searching his face, before pulling him towards her and kissing him again.

Gods, how could he have forgotten that she was leaving?

“Wow, I hadn't thought of that. I hope not.” Rowan didn't know how he would deal with Aelin leaving now. He’d just realized that he still loved her, and now he might lose her. But how could he expect her, or ask her, to stay? What kind of person would that make him? A desperate one? A man in love? Or an overreaching, entitled one who thought he could step in the way of one of the best opportunities she'd ever been given?

He would have to talk to her before he spiraled any further.

“Oh, this is so great!” Lysandra exclaimed, unaware of Rowan’s churning thoughts, “You guys might get back together, Elide and Lorcan are getting their baby, and there are chicks and ducks in the world again!

They all looked towards the sound of a door opening to see Aelin emerge from her room.

“Good morning,” She smiled at them and ignored the pointed looks and wiggling eyebrows of her friends.

“Hey,” Rowan smiled at her.

She walked up to him and greeted him quietly, “Hey.”

“How’d you sleep?”

She smiled, “Good, you?”

He matched her grin, “Good.”

Fenrys snorted, “I bet you did!”

Aelin flipped him off, shooing him, Lysandra, and Aedion away. Once they’d left, Rowan cupped her face and swooped down to kiss her. It felt like coming home.

When they broke apart, they both wore soft smiles.

“Last night was wonderful,” Aelin told him, rubbing a hand down his arm.

“Yeah, it was.”

She kept her eyes on his as she told him, “I woke up today with the biggest smile on my face.”

He tried to keep the satisfaction off his face but failed and she huffed a laugh, rolling her eyes before softening her features again.

“I know, me too,” Rowan told her, moving one thumb to brush along her cheek. “It was...you know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.”

She nodded, “I know,” Aelin leaned up to press another soft kiss to his lips before pulling him into a hug to say into his ear, “it was just the perfect way to say goodbye.”

In that moment, at her words, Rowan felt like his heart shattered into a million little pieces.

***

The hospital room buzzed with excitement.

“It's just a little bit more, honey.” Elide held Asterin’s hand as the young woman pushed again.

She sobbed, more in frustration than anything else “Help me! This hurts!”

Lorcan stood a step back and asked, “Is it really that bad?”

Both women glared at him with a ferocity that made him want to be swallowed up by a hole in the ground.

“Yeah,” Asterin answered through gritted teeth, “I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!”

Elide sighed as she was reminded of the words Lorcan reluctantly relayed to her earlier. She looked back at him, “No tact.”

The doctor cleared his throat, drawing all their attention towards him, “The baby's head is crowning.”

“Oh my God!” Elide cried, walking around to see, “That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Lorcan, you have to see this!”

Lorcan had never looked more uncomfortable. “I'm okay.”

Elide whirled on him, “Lorcan, you don't wanna miss this. This is the birth of your child!”

His child. The words rang through him and sparked some sense of resolve. He shook himself of his discomfort, outwardly at least, and stepped up behind Elide to see what she was seeing.

“Wow.” He murmured reverently, “Disgusting.”

Elide scoffed but Loracn gripped her shoulders and kissed her forehead.

“Here we go,” The doctor said, glancing back up at Asterin “Start pushing.”

A shill cry broke through the air and Elide and Lorcan watched as the doctor held up a beautiful little baby. When Elide ripped her eyes away from the infant as the nurses cleaned it, she looked up to find Lorcan already staring at her with tears in his eyes. They didn’t have to say anything, they both felt the same overwhelming sense of love.

“It’s a boy.” The doctor said, leaning back and adjusting his gloves.

“A...a boy!” Elide beamed at Lorcan as he stood open-mouthed before showing her the widest smile she’d ever seen on the man.

“A boy.” He breathed.

“Oh, you did it!” Elide went back to Asterin’s head and wiped the sweat from her forehead. She leaned closer to the girl and whispered, “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Asterin smiled at them both, “I'm really happy for you guys.”

“How do you feel?” Lorcan asked.

She sighed, “So tired.”

The doctor sat back into position, saying, “Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.”

The hand Lorcan had been rubbing down Elide’s back froze, as did both of their breathing as they slowly turned to face the doctor with eyebrows up to their hairlines.

“I’m sorry,” Elide said slowly, aware that Lorcan hadn’t resumed breathing yet, “who should be along in a what now?”

The doctor gave them a weird look, “The next baby should be along in a minute.”

“One.” Lorcan finally regained his ability to speak. “One baby. We signed up for one baby.”

“You know it's twins, right?” The doctor asked slowly

Elide laughed hysterically, “Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!”

“I…” The doctor trailed off, “I can't believe you didn't know it's twins! This has never happened before.”

“Oh wow,” Loracn snorted incredulously, “That makes me feel so much better.” He ran an agitated hand through his hair.

“Wait,” Elide faced the doctor, “did you know it was twins?”

He nodded slowly, “Yeah, it's here in the paperwork we got from the clinic.”

Elide then spun around to Asterin, “Anybody tell you?”

Asterin furrowed her brows, “I don't think so. Not explicitly.” she insisted. “they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby.”

Elide let out a shaky breath trying to wrap her mind around what was happening. “This is unbelievable.”

Lorcan gripped Elide’s arm and tugged into the corner of the room. “Can I see you for a second?”

Elide had never in her life seen Lorcan look more unsure of what to do. His hands were shaky as he gripped hers. “What do we do?”

She took a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes. “What do you mean what do we do?”

“Twins.” He stated urgently, “Twins!”

Seeing Lorcan so frazzled oddly calmed Elide down. “Lorcan, you’re panicking.”

“I sure as fuck am, join me!”

She cracked a half-smile, “Lorcan, take a breath, it’s going to be okay.”

“Elide, we are not ready to have two babies!” his eyes were still wide in shock and fear.

“That doesn’t matter!” she hissed, grabbing his arms and making him focus on her. “We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! We are taking them home because they are our children!”

Lorcan’s face softened and she watched as a steady resolve found its way across his face and through his body. They took a breath together and he pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead gently. When he pulled away, he had a small smile reserved only for her. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she repeated, her arms still wrapped around him.

“Okay.”

“Okay!”

“Okay!” he laughed, and this time it wasn’t fear clouding the sound, but joy.

“It looks like we're about ready over here.” the doctor called, and Elide and Lorcan walked back towards Asterin.

When another cry sounded, the doctor lifted the second baby, declaring, “It’s a girl.”

“A girl?” Lorcan asked quietly, a smile growing.

“Indeed.” The doctor replied, passing her to be cleaned up.

Spinning towards Elide, Lorcan said excitedly, “Well now we have two different ones!” then he whirled back to the doctor and put on his stoniest glare, “And that's enough!”

***

Lysandra, Aedion, Fenrys, and Rowan sat in the coffee house, Cadre Coffee, as Rowan told them what Aelin had said earlier.

“And then she hugged me and said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.” Even repeating it now, felt like chewing on broken glass.

“What did you say?” Fenrys pried.

Rowan sputtered, “Nothing. What do you say to that?” What could he say to that?

“Rowan,” Lysandra pleaded, “you've got to tell her how you feel.”

“I can’t do that to her.” He sighed, defeated. “I can’t lay that on her right before she’s supposed to leave.”

“Rowan,” Aedion leaned forward, making sure he held the silver-haired man’s attention, “Aelin doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.”

“You really think so?” he asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

Just then, Aelin breezed into the coffee shop.

“Hi, guys!” She waved before walking up the counter.

Rowan watched her a moment. “Alright, you know what? You're right. I should at least tell her how I feel.” He could do that. He had to do that.

"Rowan, wait!" Fenrys called from behind him.

Rowan spun around, "What?"

Fenrys grinned, "Can you get me a muffin?"

Rowan gave him a one-finger response and took a step towards Aelin.

“Aelin?” Nox, the barista who’d worked at the coffee house for as long as any of them could remember, got her attention.

“Yeah?”

“I know you’re leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you.”

Rowan stood frozen in place, mouth open, as he watched the scene unfold.

“I... I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but I thought you should know.” Nox nodded earnestly.

“Nox, Oh,” She placed a hand on his shoulder, “I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, I'll think of you.” She kissed his cheek before waving towards the group and leaving the coffee house.

Rowan sat down, meeting the shocked gazes of his friends. “Oh, my gods!”

Lysandra snorted, “Unbelievable!”

"Hey," Fenrys leaned forward, "you know what might help?"

Rowan glared at him and scoffed, "I'm not getting you a muffin!"

***

“We're going to take Asterin to recovery now.” The nurse told Elide and Lorcan as they each held one of their babies.

“Oh wait,” Elide caught Asterin’s hand, “There's something that we want to tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Asterin.”

She smiled, “Oh, that’s just like my name!”

Elide held in a laugh. It was clear Asterin was either still on some medications or just very, very tired.

“Okay,” the blonde woman said, “I'm gonna go and get some rest. I'm really glad I picked you guys. You're gonna make great parents. Even Lorcan.”

Despite his eye roll, Elide saw the pride and gratitude in Lorcan’s eyes.

“Bye, Asterin.” Elide called as she was pushed out of the delivery room.

“Bye.”

Moving closer to Lorcan, Elide cooed, “Oh look at all their teeny fingers and toes.”

“I know,” he smiled widely, making him look younger, “You ready to trade?”

“Okay!” They tried maneuvering a few different ways but eventually gave up. Switching babies when you only have two hands is not an easy feat. “Alright, let’s see…”

“Maybe later?” he suggested.

“Perfect.”

***

At Elide and Lorcan’s apartment, Lysandra found Fenrys hunched over the coffee table.

“Hey, what are you working on?” She asked, walking into the living room.

He grinned, “It’s a ‘Welcome Home’ sign for the baby.” He held up the large sign which read Welcome Home Baby in red paint beside a funky-shaped red blob.

“Uh,” Lysandra squinted, “Is that supposed to be the baby?”

Fenrys rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “No, I sat in the paint.”

She snorted just as Rowan walked in.

“Hey,” He nodded at them.

“Hey, so did you talk to Aelin?” Lysandra asked.

Rowan ran his hand through his hair and sighed, “No, and I'm not going to.”

“What?” Lysandra asked incredulously at the same time Fenrys jumped up and asked, “Why not?”

Rowan dropped into a seat at the kitchen table. “Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Nox.”

Lysandra scoffed and lightly hit him upside the head. “How can you compare yourself to Nox? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way.” She smirked as Rowan glared. “You have a relationship with her, you slept together last night. For gods’ sake, you’re Rowan and Aelin! You’re Rowaelin!”

Rowan huffed, standing up, and told her harshly, “Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where her head is at.” He sighed, shoulders slumping. “Look, even if I were going to tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.”

“Gods, Rowan!” Lysandra tried to make him see reason. “No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris?”

The door opened before Rowan could get another word in and Aedion strode in carrying a rolled-up paper.

“Hey,” He said as he walked over to Lysandra to kiss her before setting the paper on the table.

“Hey, babe,” Lysandra smiled. “Whatcha got?”

“Oh,” Aedion brightened and unrolled the piece of paper. “I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but.” He shrugged, revealing a precisely drawn sign reading Welcome to the World, Baby Lochan.

“Damn, Ashryver,” Rowan nodded appreciatively “that’s really good.”

Fenrys scoffed, still standing next to his sign, and rolled his eyes, grumbling, “You know, the baby can't read, Aedion.”

Lysandra laughed as Aelin opened the door and strode in.

“Hi. You guys, my car just got here,” she said dejectedly. “I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!”

Fenrys spoke up, “Elide called a few minutes ago from the car. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise?”

As if on cue, Elide carefully pushed the door open and stepped inside carrying a small baby.

Aelin couldn’t hold in her gasp and none of them tried to hide the misting in their eyes.

“Oh, my gods!” Aelin beamed as she walked to Elide, resting a hand on her shoulder.

“Oh, El!” Lysandra gushed, rushing forward.

“So tiny,” Rowan murmured, coming up next to Elide as Fernys and Aedion joined the small group, too.

They turned as they heard another set of footsteps enter, turning to see Lorcan walk in carrying his own small bundle.

“Oh!”

“What the—”

“What?”

“Oh, my gods!”

“Holy sh—”

Five different exclamations happened simultaneously as all their eyes darted between the two babies.

Rowan shook himself and clasped Lorcan on the shoulder, “Okay, awkward question. The hospital knows you took two, right?”

Lorcan glared at Rowan but neither man could keep the grins off their faces as they looked down at the infants.

“Yes, Whitethorn, it’s twins.”

“They’re precious,” Lysandra cooed, making funny faces at the one in Elide’s arms. Aelin, having said hello to that baby, stepped next to Rowan to gaze down at the one Lorcan held.

“This is a boy,” Elide told them, gesturing to the one she held. “And that’s a girl,” she nodded to Lorcan’s.

“Her name is Asterin,” Lorcan told them, not looking away from his daughter’s face.

“Oh, hey, that pregnant lady’s name was Asterin.” Fenrys nodded.

Aedion snorted, “It’s a shame you two didn’t spend more time together.”

Aelin aww’d and patted Lorcan’s arm, the two of them sharing a rare, warm smile.

“The boy we named Cal, after my dad.”

“Oh, you guys,” Aelin whined, “I can't believe this. But I have to leave now, or I'm gonna miss my plane."

“I’m just so glad you got to meet them,” Elide said, watery, pulling Aelin into a hug.

“Me, too,” Aelin told her. “I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much.”

I love yous were exchanged and Aelin walked to the door.

“Rowan?” She caught his eye, “come here.”

He nodded and followed her into the hall, shutting the apartment door behind him.

“Rowan, I,” She paused, grabbing his hands and looking into his face with such genuine sadness it made his heart crack and made him want to pull her into his arms and not let go. She took a breath and continued, “I just want you to know, last night...I'll never forget it.”

He cleared his throat, willing the lump in it to disappear. “Neither will I.”

He cupped her cheek and she leaned into the touch. Aelin pulled him in for a hug, holding on tight. When she pulled away, Rowan used every ounce of strength to unwrap his arms from her body, to step away as she walked down the hall and away from him.

When Rowan walked back into the apartment, Lysandra sat next to him and asked, “So, you just let her go?”

Rowan couldn’t reply, he just replayed the last two days over in his head.

“Maybe that's for the best.” Fenrys chimed in, taking up the empty chair. “You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye?"

Lysandra groaned, “But now she'll never know how he feels!”

Aedion walked over and said not unkindly, “Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it’s better this way? I mean, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents…”

They kept talking but all Rowan could hear was a buzzing in his head.

“I don’t want to move on.”

He said it quietly but they all stopped talking and looked at him.

“What?” Aedion asked, unsure he heard Rowan correctly.

“I don’t.” Rowan shook his head and stood up. “I want to be with her.”

“Really?” Fenrys asked, excitedly

“Of course really!” Lysandra answered for him.

Rowan kept nodding. “Yeah, I’m gonna go after her. I have to.”

“Yeah, you are!” Lorcan cheered from the living room. Rowan didn’t even have time to find his friend’s enthusiasm funny.

“Finally!” Elide added her own cheer, smiling between Rowan and the babies.

“Come on,” Lysandra urged, standing up and following Rowan to the door. “My car’s downstairs, I’ll drive you to the airport.”

“Okay!” Rowan faced his friends again, “wish me luck!”

A chorus of Good Lucks followed him out the door.

***

“Hey,” Fenrys called excitedly to Lorcan and Eide once Rowan and Lysandra had left, “can I give you guys your house-warming present now?”

The couple shared an amused look before Elide told him, “Now, that you can do.”

“Great! Hang on a minute.” Fenrys left their apartment to walk across the hall to his.

“Okay, my little feather babies where are you?” he muttered as he caught sight of the empty box he’d put them in earlier. “Oh shit.”

He hastily looked in the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. “Chick Jr? Duck Jr?” he called, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “Don’t hide from mama!”

***

“Lysandra, slow down!” Rowan urged as they almost took out a bicyclist.

She rolled her eyes, “Do you wanna get to Aelin in time?

“Of course I do, but I want to be alive to do it.”

Lysandra huffed at his dramatics but eased up on the gas. Slightly.

Finally arriving at the airport, Rowan and Lysandra rushed past the hoards of people, trying to maneuver their way towards Aelin.

“Rowan!” Lysandra called as he made to run down the hallway. “Where are you going?”

“To talk to Aelin.” Obviously.

“What?” She grabbed his arm, pulling him towards the ticket counter. “What, are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?”

“Not since the last time I chased the love of my life—no I haven’t Lys!”

She rolled her eyes as she kept dragging him away from the terminals. “You have to get a ticket to get past security, Idiot.”

Oh, right.

“Shit, we’re never gonna make it.” he hissed as they got caught behind the human embodiments of snails on their way to the counter.

***

“Miss, your boarding pass, please.” The gate attendant asked Aelin as she approached.

“Right, of course.” She dug through her purse then frowned, not seeing it. Flashing an apologetic smile to the people behind her, she took her purse off her shoulder and rummaged through it frantically. “Shit, shit, shit.”

The attendant cleared his throat. “Your boarding pass.”

Internally cringing, she put on her most charming smile. “You know, I had it,” she forced a chuckle, “Oh, you wouldn’t believe this—”

He looked unimpressed. “Miss, if you don't have your boarding pass—”

“I have it, I have it! Okay, I don’t have it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C,” she leaned in closer and winked, “because that’s my bra size.”

He sighed again. “Miss, you must have your boarding pass.”

Aelin huffed and stepped out of the line. “Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.”

Muttering to herself, Aelin scoured all her bags, finally brandishing the ticket and rushing back to the counter. “Here it is!”

***

Finally getting up to the ticket counter, Rowan slammed down his wallet, demanding, “I need a ticket.”

Lysandra pouted. “Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out?”

“Fine, fine,” he corrected irritatedly, “two tickets, I need two tickets.”

Lysandra sighed dramatically and leaned into Rowan, giving him her most overexaggerated doe-eyes. “We're on our honeymoon” she stage-whispered to the woman behind the computer.

The ticket agent merely raised a manicured brow and asked, “Destination?”

Rowan already had his credit card ready, “whatever’s cheapest.”

Lysandra sighed again, “I’m so lucky.”

Rowan leveled a glare at her and she tried not to laugh.

Once inside the terminal, Rowan sprinted toward the first departure timetable he could find. “Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it?”

Lysandra stood next to him, eyes scanning the board. “No, did we miss it?”

“No, no, no. That's impossible,” Rowan told her. “It doesn't leave for another 20 minutes.”

“Maybe we have the flight number wrong? Hang on, let me call Elide.”

She stepped aside, impatiently waiting for Elide to pick up her phone.

“Hello?” the new mom answered.

“Hey! It’s me. Here’s Rowan.” Then she thrust the phone into Rowan’s hand.

“Elide, do you—”

“Oh, my gods, Rowan, wait until you hear the cute little noises the twins are making. Listen.”

“What? No, Elide.” Rowan cursed as he heard unintelligible baby sounds. “Elide, Elide, Elide, Elide—”

“Oh sorry,” she said, “They were doing it before.”

“Elide! Listen, please. I need Aelin’s flight information.”

“Oh, sure, hang on.” he could hear ruffling paper as he paced back and forth. “Here it is, it's flight 421. Leaves at 8:40.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, its not on the board.

“Flight 421,” Elide repeated, “leaves at 8:40, Newark airport.”

Rowan froze, his heart sinking. “What?”

“Newark airport.” Elide gasped. “Where are you?”

But she already knew the answer.

“JFK.” he breathed, utterly defeated.

***

If Rowan wasn’t so upset, he would be fearing for his life as Lysandra sped through the streets at breakneck speed.

“Lysandra, forget it, okay? Newark is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.”

“She’s got her phone,” Lysandra braved a glance at him, narrowly avoiding another car, "you could call her.”

Rowan scoffed, “I am not doing this over the phone.”

“You don’t have any other choice!” She insisted before reaching for her own phone and calling Aelin.

It rang once. Twice.

“Hello? Lys?” Aelin’s voice rings out from the speaker and it was like a tether Rowan desperately wanted to hold onto.

“Aelin?” Lysandra answered, relieved. “oh, good. Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane?”

“Yeah, I did.”

Leaning over, Lysandra hissed, “For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” Rowan sniped.

“Uh, Ae, hang on,” she tried pushing the phone into Rowan’s hand but he adamantly refused to do this without being able to look Aelin in the eye.

“Lys? Is everything okay?” Aelin asked, worriedly.

Glaring at Rowan, Lysandra struggled to find a reason for calling. “Uhm, actually no. No, you've...you have to get off the plane.”

“What? Why?” Aelin sounded bewildered.

“I just,” Lysandra sighed, shooting another glare at Rowan, “I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the, uh,” she paused again before snapping her fingers and declaring, “with the left phalange.”

“Lys, babe, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the plane. Look, I have to go. I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris.”

***

On the plane, Aelin hung up the phone only to feel the man beside her tap insistently on her shoulder.

“What was that?” he asked, looking anxious.

“Oh,” Aelin waved a hand dismissively, “that was just my friend. She told me I should get off the plane because she had a feeling that there was something wrong with the left phalange.” She chuckled, sure it was just Lysandra’s way of finding an excuse to talk to her again before the flight took off.

But the man started to fidget. “Okay, that doesn't sound good.”

“I wouldn't worry about it.” Aelin again waved him off, “She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right.”

“But she is sometimes?”

“Well…” Aelin trailed off, thinking about all the things Lysandra has had an intuition about.

Her hesitation was apparently enough to send her seatmate into a tail-spin because he instantly got up and tried to grab his suitcase, only for the flight attendant to stop him.

“Excuse me, sir, where are you going?” The woman asked, curtly.

“I have to get off this plane, okay?” he insisted, then gestured towards a wide-eyed Aelin. “Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left phalange.”

He said it loud enough that other passengers began to panic, while Aelin sheepishly shrugged at the annoyed flight attendant.

“There is nothing wrong with the plane, sir.”

He finally got his bag down and cried, “The left phalange!”

The attendant looked incredulously between the man and Aelin, “There is no phalange.”

“Oh my God. This plane doesn't even have a phalange!”

Aelin watched, wincing, as more passengers overheard and insisted they, too, get off the plane. Person after person marched out the aisle and soon Aelin loosed a long breath, “This is ridiculous,” she watched another two people leave. “Yeah, okay.”

Grabbing her own bag, she followed the crowd off the plane.

***

Rowan doubted he’d ever felt as frantic or desperate as he did right now.

He and Lysandra finally made it to Newark, bought another ticket, and raced to Aelin’s gate.

“Where is she?” He muttered, almost pulling out his hair with how forcefully he raked his hands through it.

“I don't see her,” Lysandra answered.

“Aelin!” Rowan shouted, not caring about the stares he garnered. “Aelin Galthynius!”

“Oh!” Lysandra gasped, pointing towards a crowd, “There she is!”

“Aelin!” He yelled again, pushing past people as he tried to run onto the boarding gate.

“Woah,” the gate attendant stopped Rowan, “excuse me, sir, do you have a boarding pass?”

“I just need to talk to someone,” he pleaded.

“I’m sorry, you cannot go any further without a boarding pass.”

“Gods, please, I just need—”

“AELIN!” Lysandra shrieked, getting everyone’s attention including a specific blonde who rushed back out the gate and stood gaping at Lysandra and Rowan.

“Oh my gods,” she looked back and forth between the two before her gaze locked and held with Rowan’s as she breathed, “What—what are you guys doing here?”

“All you,” Lysandra nudged Rowan then made herself scarce

“What? What is it?” Aelin demanded, pulling Rowan aside, “Rowan, you're scaring me. What's going on?”

“Aelin,” Rowan didn’t know where to start. “Okay, the thing is,” he trailed off again. How could he tell that he loved her? How could he wrap up ten years—more than that—of falling in love with her, even at times when he didn’t know it. How could he explain that to her?

“Rowan?”

He took a deep breath. “Don’t go.”

“What?” Aelin asked, shocked.

“Aelin, please, don’t leave. I am so gods damn in love with you. Please, don’t go.”

Aelin stood open-mouthed, her eyes shimmering with an emotion he didn’t dare name. “Oh, my gods.”

He groaned, “I know, I know. I’m an idiot and a bastard, and any other name you want to call me. I shouldn't have waited until now to say it, Hellas, I shouldn’t have waited until now to realize it, but,” he shook his head, locking his gaze with hers. “That was stupid, okay? I'm sorry, I’m so sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. I’m in love with you. Please, do not get on this plane.”

“Miss?” a throat cleared behind them, making Aelin blink and drag her watery eyes away from his. “Are you boarding the plane?”

“Aelin,” Rowan took her hand, urging her to stay, “Aelin, please. I know you love me, too. I know you do. Don’t go. Stay.”

“I,” Aelin looked between Rowan and the gate attendant with shock and regret etched across her face. “I have to get the plane,” she whispered.

“No, you don’t.” Rowan held tightly to her hand.

“Yes, I do.” despite her protests, she didn’t pull her hand away.

“No,” Rowan stepped closer, cupping her cheek and reveling in the fact that she leaned into his touch. “You don’t.”

“Rowan,” her words barely louder than a breath, “They're waiting for me, I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

He couldn’t understand what was happening. Rowan couldn’t accept that she was walking away.

“Aelin.” he pleaded, one final time.

She took a shuddering breath. “I’m so sorry.”

Rowan stood unmoving, felt his breathing freeze and his heart cease beating if just for a moment as he watched Aelin walk away from him and board the plane.

He wasn’t aware of people moving around him or of Lysandra coming to stand next to him before pulling him into a hug murmuring I’m sorry. He wasn’t aware of his surroundings as he walked towards Lysandra’s car or his walk back to his apartment. All he knew was that he’d just watched the love of his life walk away and there would soon be an ocean between them.

***

Lorcan sealed the last box of his and Elide’s things.

“Wow,” Elide sighed, looking around the bare apartment. “Everything’s packed.”

“It’s weird,” Lorcan replied, looking around the space he and their friends had occupied for so many years.

“I know.” She stood on her toes and he leaned down to meet her for a kiss.

“So, uh,” Fenrys spoke up from the kitchen, “does this mean there's nothing to eat?”

Elide snorted while Lorcam tried his best to reign in his smirk. Turning, Elide told him, “I put three lasagnas in your freezer.”

He beamed, “I love you!”

She chuckled as the door opened and Lysandra walked in.

“How’d it go?” Elide asked

“So did you guys make it in time?” Aedion spoke at the same time from his place against the fridge.

“Yeah,” Lysandra sighed, “Yeah, he talked to her, but she got on the plane anyway.”

“Where’s Rowan?” Lorcan asked her, knowing Rowan would be hiding away, brooding.

“He went home,” Lysandra frowned and leaned into Aedion’s embrace. “He didn't want to see anybody.”

***

Sitting on his couch, Rowan noticed his answering machine beeping. More out of muscle memory than an actual urge to listen, he pressed the button.

“Rowan, It’s me.”

Rowan jolted, a mess of emotion flying through him as he listened to Aelin's voice filter through his machine.

“I just got back on the plane. I feel awful. Gods, Rowan, that was so not how I wanted things to end with us.”

End. Rowan braced himself, he had to get through this message.

“It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things...and now I’m sitting here thinking of everything I should’ve said that I didn’t.”

Rowan heard her take a shuddering breath.

“I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too.”

His breath caught, and hope filled him for the first time since he’d been standing in front of her.

“Because of course, I do. I love you. I love you. Gods, Rowan, I love you.”

He held his breath, he almost couldn’t wrap his brain around what he was hearing, what he’d longed to hear.

“What am I doing? I love you! I need to get off this plane—”

“Oh my gods,” Rowan listened, wide-eyed as he heard Aelin argue with a flight attendant.

“Excuse me? I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, but I need to get off this plane, okay? I need to tell Rowan I love him.”

“Miss, can't let you off the plane.”

“Let her off the plane!” Rowan screamed at his machine.

“Oh, please, you don’t understand. Isn’t there any way you can just let me off—”

Beeeeep.

The message ended and Rowan was left sitting on the edge of his sofa staring disbelievingly at his answering machine.

“No!” He jumped up, carding a hand through his hair, “No! Aelin! Oh, my gods, did she get off the plane?”

“I got off the plane.”

Rowan whirled around so fast he thought his neck might snap. Aelin stood in his doorway, suitcase in hand, staring at him with a watery smile and eyes that blazed with surety.

“You got off the plane.” Rowan breathed and strode towards her, holding her face in his hands as she grabbed his arms, each clinging to the other, not able to let the other go.

Rowan wasn’t sure who moved first, but the next moment he was kissing Aelin, It was as if all the years of pining, love, heartbreak, and friendship, barreled through them and into a kiss full of promise. All the mistakes of the past, all the time wasted, was over. Now, they could finally be Rowan and Aelin. Finally.

When they pulled apart, still unable to let the other go, Aelin leaned her forehead against his and told him, “I do. I do love you.”

Rowan brushed a tear from her cheek and smiled down with all the warmth he could gather. “I love you too, Fireheart. And I’m never letting you go, again.”

“Good," She nodded, gripping him tighter, “because this is where I want to be, okay? With you. Always with you. No more messing around.”

“That’s right,” he agreed, “we’re done being stupid.”

Aelin kissed him again. “You and me, alright?” She looked him in the eye and saw everything she felt mirrored there. “To whatever end.”

“This is it. To whatever end” He echoed, pulling her in for another kiss.

***

The seven of them stood in the now-empty living room of Elide and Lorcan’s apartment. The new parents each held a baby, Fenrys sat with Lysandra and Aedion near the large window, and Aelin leaned into Rowan who had his arms wrapped around her as they stood to the side.

“Wow,” Aelin murmured, looking around the bare space.

“I know,” Rowan said into her hair, “It seems smaller somehow.”

Fenrys glanced at the walls a minute before asking, “Has it always been purple?” His answer consisted of several snorts.

Lorcan and Elide strapped Asterin and Cal into their stroller. Elide sniffed, facing everyone else, “Oh, uh, I promised the landlord we’d leave our keys.”

She said it to Lorcan, but each of them walked toward the counter to place their own keys. Elide laughed, looking at seven pairs of keys to a two-person apartment.

“I guess this is it,” Lysandra commented mournfully.

“Yeah,” Aedion wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “I guess so.”

At Elide’s sniffle, Lorcan pulled her into his arms. Through the fabric of his shirt, they could hear her say, “This is harder than I thought it would be.”

Gathering herself, Elide unwrapped her arms from Lorcan’s middle before turning to hug Aelin who’d come to stand next to her.

“Do you guys have to go to the new house right away?” Aelin asked, “Or do you have some time?”

“We have some time.”

“Okay,” Rowan grabbed Aelin’s hand, “should we get some coffee?”

“Sure,” Fenrys smirked. “Where?”

They all laughed as they walked out of the apartment that had become so important to each one of them. Aedion helped Lorcan carry the double stroller down the stairs, followed closely by Elide. Lysandra and Fenrys were bickering, but smiling as they walked. And Rowan and Aelin had their arms wrapped around each other, not daring or wanting to let the other one go. They shared a smile, and with one last glance at the closed apartment door, they left.

*****

Taglist:

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[peony-pearl]

I have a Haruka question for you! What do you imagine the dynamic between her & Zuko to be?

Ahhh thank you for the question!!

Haruka and Zuko would meet one year into his exile and he's... not thrilled that his uncle has taken to some woman while on this journey; to which Haruka lets the young man know she once swore to follow Iroh to the Fire Nation; although things got a little hairy at Ba Sing Se, and he left before she could do so. She's not some 'new floozy' for Iroh to distract himself with at ports.

However, Iroh asks Haruka to go easy on Zuko, and he explains the situation, and she does understand why the boy is so angry, but she also gets very frustrated as Iroh is an adult and should be able to do as he pleases on his off time without a teenager sulking about it.

Haruka does her best to maintain good vibes between herself and Zuko, although it's often a struggle. Since he's next in line to be Fire Lord, Haruka knows it's best to placate him and be civil, especially when Iroh reminds her that she once swore an oath to the Fire Lord when he was still first in line. He asks her to keep her oath for Zuko, and she does so out of love for Iroh, especially after he proposes.

Zuko begrudgingly gives his blessing for their engagement, however, he can't help but watch them when they meet up at different Fire Nation ports and just shower each other in adoration. He won't deny that he's happy for his uncle, after losing Lu Ten and not really having much direction over the past few years, seeing him find some stability with Haruka's presence is a welcome sight, although he's still very adamant that finding the Avatar comes first.

By the timeline of season 1, Haruka and Zuko have a mutual sense of tolerating each other. They know that they're going to be family eventually, and Haruka lets Zuko know he has her whole faith and she will follow the young man.

When Haruka stumbles upon wanted posters for Zuko and Iroh after the Seige of the North, she's horrified; she takes off on a journey to find the two, using the excuse to her parents that she was going off with an acting troupe; but once they find out she's not with them, missing posters of her end up on the same boards as Zuko and Iroh's.

For months they're playing a game of poster tag, helping each other find their way to Ba Sing Se. When they reunite, Zuko won't admit it, but he's relieved when he sees her hug Iroh. She immediately goes to Zuko and kisses his cheek, saying 'my nephew!' and he wriggles unhappily out of the hug. She won't deny that she gets a kick out of seeing him pout and wipe his cheek.

She has her own apartment, as by now she's potentially taking care of two orphans she stumbled upon during her travels, but she sees Zuko and Iroh almost every day (with little Bai Yun and Kasha in tow, who Iroh is very eager to basically adopt right there).

Haruka's story during the third season is still being put together, but afterwards, she and Zuko have a very good relationship. She's proud of the young man he's become and they have a lot of discussions when he isn't able to talk to Iroh; the two have gone through a lot of personal growth and have dealt a lot with feeling unwanted or used. Haruka knows it's been a long time since he's had his mom, and while she's not his mother, she wants to be there for him, especially since her mother never really listened to her; and he becomes a wonderful cousin to both Bai Yun and Kasha, as well as the children Haruka and Iroh have together: Rioko, Saffron and Katsu (Iroh with five kids under his roof at his age lmao rip)

After the two of them have been through so much together, they maintain their own little auntie/nephew relationship. She ruffles his hair and smooches his cheek and gives him some dumplings and he perfects his hugs with her, because she never pushes him away when he needs one and lets him hug as long as he needs to.

Thanks so much for the ask!!

[itsadweeb]

BECAUSE NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO ME, HEADCANONS I HAVE FOR THE DANGANRONPA GANG

Sayaka's actually alternative to the absolute BRIM but due to her idol status she can't wear her favorite outfits to shows or fan meets so when she wants to avoid paparazzi while just trying to hang with her friends, she wears these outfits as they don't recognize her like that.

In a Non-Despair AU Sayaka and Junko are friends and have done photoshoots with each other.

Sayaka speaks Spanish, she learned when she was young when she couldn't think of anything else to do in her free time so she learned it.

Sayaka also is bi and has more of a girl lean (she has crush on all the girls in her class).

Sayaka and her friends in her idol group have bloopers and silly moments like how other celebrities do posted online of just them having fun.

Another Sayaka one (i love her ok?) she's cousins with both Shuichi and Tsumugi.

Sayaka enjoys cosplaying with her and hypes up Shuichi as much as she can to make him feel proud of himself.

In a Non-Despair AU and where Junko is actually a good person, she and Mukuro adopt Kiyo as their brother and help him out to the best of their abilities to be better a sister for him.

Miu's cousins with Junko and Mukuro and has accepted Kiyo as her family now, they end up talking a lot about random things, he listens to her rant about her inventions while she does the same for him when talks about history and other cultures.

Mukuro dyes Junko and Miu's hair the bubblegum pink we all know and love.

Tenko and Miu are Lasian (Latin-Asian, Miu specifically is Mexican-Japanese (I haven't figured out Tenko just yet).

This is still towards them being Lasian but Tenko and Miu can dance really well and have taught their classmates how to bachata.

Miu has the BIGGEST crush on maid mom but absolutely refuses to admit and Junko teases her about it.

Miu did for sure though took Kirumi as her partner to learn bachata when she and Trnko were teaching their classmates.

Poor Kirumi doesn't understand her emotions so she doesn't know how she feels towards Miu but does wonder why she enjoys the inventor's company more than others. (Shuichi can immediately tell that the feelings are mutual between the two.)

Taka and Celeste are siblings, no one knew they were until Takaaki had called Celeste one day and Taka had yelled from across the room "TELL FATHER I SAID HI" and both Takaaki and Celeste yelled at him "YOUR INSIDE VOICE TAKA"

Maki was adopted by Takaaki as Taka and Celeste's sister around the time high school had just started but she fequently visits the orphanage (and continuing her jobs).

Takaaki remarried, his new wife being Hiroko making Hiro the step-brother to Taka, Celeste, and Maki, much to their dismay but keep it together since their dad is happy.

Ibuki, Leon, Sayaka, and Kaede have a small group of just them playing music together.

When these four hang out, there's either a large group standing around listening to them play their symphonies or... they're causing a bit of mischief thanks to a cheeky Sayaka and Ibuki.

Sayaka and Ibuki know how to scream. (the voice thing when you sing you nasties).

Mikan's related to the chaotic duo Kokichi and Kaito and the only times you won't see these two bicker is when they're around their timid cousin.

Mikan: Who needs a boyfriend when you can steal your cousins' clothes?

No one believed Nagito when he said that he was related to Sonia until she asked him when would he be able to visit her family again and he responded "I'm not sure but I would love to visit auntie and uncle again!"

Sonia and Nagito are each other's wingmen. Sonia needs help planning her date with Akane? He's there to help as fast as he can. Nagito wants to plan something special for Hajime and Chiaki? She always there to help to him out.

Chiaki and Chihiro are siblings change my mind.

I probably have more but I can't remember them all but anyways enjoy.

[oasislake76]

Thinking about my Adam’s Family!au is how all of Dreams older cousins would randomly pop up in the world just to check on him or because their bored... or their hiding from their parents because all the adults are “technically blacklisted” because Lucinda’s beef with Puffy and Jschlatt that she refuses to tell anyone. This is also me introducing y’all to some up and coming characters.

Like Levin popping up and immediately spamming everyone’s communicators because he doesn’t fuck with that you whisper to- shit. Everyone being so confused because the title ImTheBetterSibling pops up followed by them calling Dream names repeatedly with smily faces. And people that are in the area near Dream just hear “YOU FUCKING BITCH-“ before a green blurb darts by. Levin is a little shit and is much like an older Tommy. Darting in and out of Dreams way and acting like that annoying bigger sibling that doesn’t quite know how to interact with their younger sibling. They are a good three years apart from each other. 

Malachi, with the name of NoIAm, pops up not even a day later. Huffy and clinging onto the back Dreams hoodie like a angry toddler. Pissed that his younger brother was the first cousin on the server instead of the oldest. It’s only the right thing after all. He follows after Dream like a baby duck and helps with what ever Dream needs to do around the server. He’s still has his ghost powers in this AU so if I decide if he shows up when Ghostbur is a thing then both of them can talk and float around. As long as Dream stays in Malachi’s eyesight at all times.

Other’s show up to like Stampy’s litters, usually the older ones since the last few are still pretty young. And all the other Cousins between Sky, Aphmau, and Seto’s side of the family.

Ace is the first born of the first litter of Stampy’s, I don’t have a mom oc just yet or I might just make him adopt every lost kitten he see’s, is very spastic. She reminds Dream a lot of Sapnap because she likes to set fire to everything as well and has a hatred against the normal Minecraft cats. He really wants the two of them to meet but his own survival instincts tell him no. So that means he’s tugging her out of eyesight every time Sapnap is near.

Zane and Kawaii-Chan’s oldest son, Mufa, is much like Sam actually! A creeper hybrid though he leans more onto the human side of his biological then Sam does. Much laid back he also follows Dream around. Standing off to his side and acting like a giant shadow. Tugging at Dreams sleeve and pointing to a person off in the distance or to a structure and listening as Dream rattles off the history or what the person is like. He’s to shy to really speak but Mufa only really forced himself to come because.... well... Dream is his favorite cousin and he misses him.

It’s weird because they come into the server so randomly. Like no one can predict it when one of Dreams cousins will pop in and it’s usually a sight to see the Admin drop everything spastically before darting off to where the main portal is that new members enter from in the Holy Land.

Dream acts so different as well when their around. Much happier and like a little kid sometimes. His ADHD comes out more and it’s common to see the Admin dance, jump, and flap his hands while rattling on and on about the SMP.

Weirdly they all seem to know where Niki’s bakery and Puffy’s house is. Steering Dream away from those directions or down right sprinting away when they catch sight of the building and or Puffy. It’s not like they don’t like her, they know of her, but Auntie Lucinda is scary when even a whiff of a though about Puffy or Jschlatt is even mentioned in the vicinity of her. They choose life. Okay?

Dream is oblivious to it. Immediately thinking their walk to L’manberg has turned into a impromptu race through the nearby lands. His giggles and shouts loud and very easy to hear. It’s like the world settles when Dream is out having fun.

Of course the other members stumble upon them and it’s very weird to the majority of the sbi that they all know who Phil is. Greeting him weirdly with a nod, a raised eyebrow, and tight lips before it melts away once Phil greets them back the same. Dream doesn’t know what their doing either but doesn’t really question them since Phil is immortal and their also older then him. Especially Malachi. There’s something weird between the two and Dream doesn’t like how Malachi acts around Phil all that much.

They don’t stop when Dream gets put into prison. like Dream doesn’t even last a week in there until Malachi and Levin are bursting through the gateway portal to the hub looking beyond murderous. Asking literally any nearby player how Dream is and why he hasn’t texted their spammed messages back all week. They find out he’s in prison and in broad fucking daylight break him out and leave the server.

[survivingthejungle]

everybody wants to rule the world (caliban)

When Sabrina was 8 years old, her life got a little more unusual. Being a half witch raised by her two aunts and cousin (all full-blooded witches)  in a mortuary was not a common experience for most children. But things became different when another cousin, from her mother's side of the family, came to live in the Spellman house. Her mother, Diana, had a brother, William; WIlliam married and had a daughter just two years before Sabrina was born. She was named Genevieve Sawyer, and she and her paternal cousin had been very close to one another their entire lives. When it was heard that William had been shot and that Genevieve's mother was not fit to parent, the girl's cousin and family immediately stepped up to take her in and be her legal guardians. 

Despite Genevieve's unfortunate circumstances, she never lost her bright personality or kindness. She seemed to stick out like a sore thumb in the Spellman house from time to time, but it was a welcome change of pace for everyone who lived there. For the next eight years after she had gone to live with her cousins and aunts, she had grown into a compassionate, driven young lady. Growing with her were several pets she had acquired over the years. Genevieve had a special love for animals and so had adopted many. She had a spotted turtle named Tucker, whom she had rescued from getting run over by a truck one morning. She also had an orange tabby cat named Tex, a green budgie named Pico, and a blue pit bull terrier named Bambi. The latest addition to the family was an albino ball python, whom she was currently in the process of naming. 

"Genevieve. I mean it this time," scolded her aunt Zelda. "No more pets. You have barely enough space for them all, and I won't allow any more of this."

"No more, aunt Zelda. I got it. This guy is the last," she affirmed, gesturing with the snake which was slithering over her shoulders and down her left arm. Her aunt shuddered. 

"How you can allow that thing near you is beyond me."

"She's sweet!" she defended. "She's just curious."

"She stays in your room only. If I see a snake slithering about my house I won't hesitate to kill it."

"She won't go anywhere. Promise."

Once her aunt had finished scolding her and left her room, she turned her attention back to her new friend. "What do we call you, huh?" Genevieve said. She set the snake down on her bed and flipped on her record player against the wall to fill the silence, and an old Fleetwood Mac album started spinning. "Well," she said, "I have to take Bambi and Tex on a walk, so I guess we should put you in your tank, huh?" She moved the young albino to the mostly empty tank and placed the lid over it, promising, "I'll get you some decorations while I'm out." Then she put on a pair of socks, laced up her shoes, and grabbed two harnesses and leashes from the footboard of her bed, heading downstairs to find the only two of her pets that were mammals. "Morning, aunt Hilda," she greeted the small blonde woman.

"Oh, g'morning my love! Are you taking Tex and Bambi on a walk?"

"Yeah, once I find 'em." "Well you'll eat first, won't you?" She pointed to the table. "Some toast for you."

"You're the best," Genevieve said, sitting down to take a bite of it. The toast was covered with peanut butter and sliced bananas; simple, but a favorite of the girl's. She finished eating quickly and was off again in search of her cat and dog, finding them in the family room. Tex was lounging on the couch and Bambi had seemingly been banished by him, staring at the tabby from the ground. "You wanna go on a walk?" she said to them both, her voice increasing by about an octave. Bambi's ears perked up and her eyes widened; Tex hopped down from the couch and over to circle Genevieve's legs. "Hey auntie," she called into the kitchen, "Do you know where Beans went?"

"Yes," her aunt called back, "I believe she went to go see Harvey, Roz, and Theo?"

"Okay. Thank you!" She then strapped both of the harnesses onto Tex and Bambi and put them on their leashes, and then made their way outside to their usual walking route. About halfway through their walk she and her two companions made a detour to go to Harvey's garage, where Genevieve had guessed their band would be practicing and where her cousin had gone to find them. Heading around behind his house, she found the garage door unlocked and entered in to find the four of them seemingly discussing something important.

"'Vieve,"  Sabrina greeted as soon as she saw her cousin. "What's up?"

"I was walking Tex and Bambi," she responded, holding up the two leashes attached to both animals. "What's up with you?"

"Sabrina's trying to take us to Hell," Theo told her. 

Genevieve's eyebrows raised and she went to take a seat on the couch closest to her. "Why?" she asked Sabrina.

"Nick." She said his name sadly; she knew her cousin missed him a lot and felt guiltier every day she left him trapped there. "I think I found a way to get him out."

"But, like… He's still…" Genevieve trailed off, not knowing how to formulate her thoughts exactly. 

"Yes," she responded, knowing what the girl was getting at. "A flesh Acheron. But I might have a solution for that too."

—

Sabrina had brought the five of them through Dorian's portal to Hell with an incantation, where they landed on a cold, dark beach, coughing up the salt water that had gotten into their lungs. "Wait, so… Hell is a beach?" Harvey asked.

"The Shores of Sorrow," Sabrina whispered hauntingly. 

Theo stood up and pointed out at the water. "Guys. Look. What are those?" There were tall wooden structures standing above the waves, and from them came pained groans and wails. Hands were reaching out, desperate to grab whatever would come close to them. 

"They're the souls of the damned," called a deep, unfamiliar voice. The group turned their heads to look for the source, and saw a large sandcastle and someone walking out from behind it. He had blond hair and was wearing a flowing white shirt that he had left unbuttoned. "They drown as the tide rolls in. Over, and over," he said, looking out at them, "For all eternity."

"Bummer," Genevieve whispered to Roz.

"Hi," Sabrina greeted him as the group approached him. "We're looking for Lilith." He didn't respond. "Uh, Madame Satan? S-Queen of Hell?" The boy looked pointedly at her, on the verge of a smirk. "She's in Pandemonium, if you happen to know the way." He turned his head and pointed left. Sharp jaw, Genevieve thought. 

"All blood flows to Pandemonium." Sure enough, there was a large rock through which blood was flowing, that seemed to turn into a path further up the beach. "Follow the blood-red road where it flows, and there you'll find the throne of Hell," he instructed, still pointing. 

"Thanks," Sabrina said. He pushed his hair back from the wind blowing on the beach, smirk still present. What does he know that we don't? her cousin wondered.  "And you are?"

He seemed as if he were about to respond, but decided against it. "Never step off the road," he advised. He looked at their feet then. "It's clever you're wearing dead men's shoes. Though… any demon worth his salt can smell mortal flesh a mile away."

Genevieve's brows furrowed. "Ew." The boy glanced at her and then turned back to his project. 

"Come on," Sabrina said, "Let's go." The four trailed behind her, but Genevieve stayed still for a moment. "Hey! I like your sandcastle," she called to the boy. He looked back at her, intrigued. "Bye!" she waved. He lifted a hand in return, and she was on her way. 

— 

The journey through hell had been… adventurous, to say the least. Between the field of crucified people beating eaten by crows, to the forest with a magical flower and a bloodthirsty tin man, to a horrific mock-high school classroom, Genevieve and the others were exhausted, scared, and ready to go back to earth. After being rescued by Lilith's helper, a man dressed in a bellhop's outfit and being seated at some hellish feast, she and Sabrina began a conversation about getting Nick out of Hell and taking care of Theo's uncle's soul as well. The Infernal Kings weren't recognizing Lilith's newfound authority, so she struck a deal with Sabrina- the throne for her boyfriend and her friend's uncle. Sabrina, of course, agreed, and the process had begun.

— 

"Infernal court, I bid you welcome," Lilith greeted from the throne. The three demonic kings stood before her in wait. "The city of Pandemonium has an honored guest. May I present to the hordes, Sabrina Morningstar, daughter of Lucifer Morningstar." Sabrina walked to stand next to the woman and looked around the throne room. "In his absence, she has come to officially declare me Queen of Hell. Isn't that right, Sabrina?"

"Yes, that's right," she told them. 

"This is treason! Heresy!" the Kings protested. "Lilith is a concubine, not a queen. We do not recognize her. She was Lucifer's whore. The realms are in chaos, and the Earth, the Pit, the Heavens, the Cosmos, they all reject Lilith's claim to the throne."

"And who do you propose would rule?" she shot back. 

That was the million dollar question, it seemed, because the Kings got a nefarious look in their eyes. "All hail Caliban, Prince of Hell. Molded from the clay of the Pit itself, native son of the inferno, born to restore and rule our dark domain!"

"Hello again," said the supposed Prince Caliban, in yet another open top. He maintained the smug look on his face that he was wearing at their last encounter. 

"Uh, hi?" Sabrina said, mildly confused. 

"What is this?" Lilith questioned. "This is salvation," he told her. "Since the Dark Lord's desertion, the Nine Circles of Hell have been breaking down. I, Caliban, will restore stability and do what Lucifer failed to do… conquer the earth. Remake it as our Tenth Circle, and enslave the tribes of mortal and witch."

Before anyone else could get a word in edgewise, Genevieve spoke up. "No? You most certainly will not!" she said. He raised his eyebrows at her. "Dude. You're… you're not even a real person." Her brow furrowed. "Someone gets one good blast with a hairdryer and what happens? You dry up and crack?"

"I'm afraid that's not how it works, darling." He stepped closer. "Though you are clever for that." Yet another smirk. Smug bastard. Closer. And closer. 

She glared at him. "Thanks," she deadpanned. 

"You are pretty, for a mortal," he said to her. "Maybe I'll have mercy on you." He lifted a hand to beside her face and toyed with a strand of hair that had fallen out of her braid.

"Don't touch me." She slapped his hand away, and he stepped back. Sabrina and Lilith had been whispering to each other from the moment that Caliban revealed his plan. But now, she was seemingly comatic; her eyes and Nick's were both glazed over in red and they were both catatonic. But when her senses came back and her eyes returned to normal, she had adopted a newfound confidence. "No, we won't," she said to Lilith. "I am Sabrina Morningstar," she announced to the hordes, "And that throne is mine. By blood, and by birth."

"Here we go again," Harvey muttered. Genevieve chuckled. 

"Yours to give me, you mean," Lilith interjected. 

"No. Mine. To claim." She sat on the throne herself, and her cousin had to admit that she looked rather regal. 

"We do not accept this!" the Kings argued. "The witch lives on Earth. She cannot possibly rule Hell."

"You've obviously never been to high school."

"You are a child, not a queen," another King shot. 

"I am a young woman." Right on, her cousin thought. 

"You cannot fulfill your father's duties." "I can," she insisted, looking at Lilith. "With Lilith as my advisor." "What?" "Isn't that what kings and queens do when they're too young to rule?" she argued. "They appoint a…" "Regent," Lilith offered. "Yes. As a matter of fact, yes." "Then you, Lilith, are my regent."

"I dispute this." Caliban, of course. 

"Okay, Dirt-Man," Genevieve said. She had begun to harbor a deeply personal sense of loathing for him, especially because of how he disrespected her cousin's authority and was a raging narcissist. 

After an attempted challenge for the crown, Sabrina dismissed the court and he and his clique left Pandemonium. She and the rest of the group, along with Nick and his tongue, followed Dorian's instructions and used the flower and the incantation to return home. 

— 

Sabrina had royally fucked up— no pun intended. After fumbling her first soul retrieval and getting locked in an industrial freezer by her second, she was beginning to lose hope. And she was running out of time. While Lilith was out searching for the wayward queen, the clay prince decided to go on his own adventure.

— 

Genevieve was occupied in her cozy, bright room when a gust of spiraling flames interrupted her peace. She had been lying in her bed, reading a book and accompanied by all of her pets (which was a rare occurrence). Pico had nestled onto Tuck's shell and they were both napping. Bambi was curled up against her side and Tex at her feet, and the new snake— whose name, she decided, was Rhiannon— was also curled at the end of the bed. "Quite the companions you've got," he spoke deeply, disturbing the silence. "You!" she said, sitting up and starting all but the python. "What are you doing in my room?" she asked, exasperated. 

"Here to see you, of course," he told her, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Genevieve

was still perplexed. 

"...Why?"

"You amuse me, mortal. And you've caught my eye. Your friend may be the Queen of Hell—"

"Cousin," she corrected.

"Your cousin may be Queen, but it's you who's really captured my attention."

"I… Okay," she responded, brows furrowed.

"No one's ever spoken to me as boldly as you have. Especially for a mortal. If I wanted to punish you, in fact, it would be well within my rights. Even your cousin could not do anything about it; laws in Hell differ than on Earth."

"So, what. You're here to kill me? Because I threatened your ego?" Genevieve rolled her eyes and got up, Bambi following after her. She grabbed Rhiannon and carried her over to her tank, flipping the switch for her heater and closing the lid. She then grabbed Tuck, as gently as possible to allow him to keep napping, and put him in his tank as well.

"Of course not," he chuckled. "You're much too interesting. It would be a shame for your potential to go to waste." "Potential," she said, disinterested. Walking to her door, she slipped on a pair of shoes that sat against the wall. "For?"

"For you to align with me. You may not like me much now, but I'm sure you'll grow to."

"For me… I'm sorry, what? You expect me to betray my cousin for someone who wants to literally enslave my people and take over the Earth?" He said nothing. "No!" she waved her hand at him, signaling for him to leave. "Be gone. Or... whatever you say to banish demons." She left her room and headed down the hallway and to the stairs, but Caliban was not far behind. Neither was Bambi.

She made a pit stop in the kitchen to make herself a sandwich before she left the house. "Do you think me unreasonable?" Caliban asked, leaning against the counter while she worked. 

"Well, yeah. Actually I do." 

He grabbed her hand before she could continue. Making sure to never break eye contact, he pleaded, "Please. Let me prove you wrong." She pulled her hand away.

"Why are you so dead set on this?" she groaned. "I said no!" A frustrated laugh left her lips.

"I'll make you a deal," he pressed. She returned her attention to her sandwich and refused to look at him. "Submit to me, and I will abandon my plan to enslave the tribes of Earth." Still, silence. Genevieve pretended that he wasn't even there anymore, slipping Bambi a piece of turkey in between the two of them. Once again, Caliban brought his hand up and grabbed her chin; she couldn't turn away. 

"You won't get the chance," she spat. "My cousin is the Queen. Your plan will never happen." He opened his mouth to argue, but in a split second, decided against it. 

"If that's truly how you feel, then I concede. But know my offer still stands." Genevieve shrugged, straight-faced, unsure how to respond. 

"Will you leave now? I have somewhere to be," she told him, putting her sandwich in a baggie and walking to the kitchen table where a backpack was hanging off the back of a chair. 

"Will the lady allow me to escort her?" he countered. She threw her food, a water bottle, and a sports drink into the bag as she considered it. 

"Fine, I guess." She slung the backpack over her shoulder before kneeling down to scratch and kiss Bambi's head. "Bye, Bambi!" she said, her voice having gone up at least an octave. The blue pit thumped her tail and opened her mouth in a typical pit bull smile. Without a word, she stood up and passed Caliban to go retrieve her sneakers which were sitting by the front door. He followed, attentive to her every move. She locked the door behind her on her way out and began walking into town. 

"Where are you headed to?" he asked her.

"The gym. I coach junior high volleyball."

"Is that a mortal sport?"

"Yeah. I played for a long time."

"Why did you stop?" 

Genevieve stayed silent for a beat. "When I was still in high school, a few colleges wanted to recruit me for their teams. I would have gone to any of them, but…"

"But what?" "Well, I don't really know what I want to do with my life. I didn't want to just up and leave my family with no plan. So after I graduated this spring, I decided to take a gap year to figure out what I want to do."

"Have you figured it out yet?" he asked. His tone seemed genuinely interested. 

She stayed quiet for a while longer. "No," Genevieve admitted, dejectedly.

"Maybe you should work with animals," Caliban offered. "Really? Why?"

"You seem to like them enough, you've got several as pets."

"Yeah, that's fair. But I don't think I could ever be a vet," she claimed. 

"Then don't. Try something else."

"Like what?"

"You're the mortal here, not me," he chuckled. "You know more about your options than I do." Genevieve let out a little laugh as well. "Think about it," he advised her. 

"I will. Thank you, Caliban."

— 

Sabrina didn't return home until well past midnight. As she walked through the front door and quietly closed it, her cousin broke her silence from the stairs. "Where you been, Beans?"

Sabrina nearly jumped, startled. "I was— Oh, Aunties," she muttered, finally facing all three of them. 

"Well, do you care to explain yourself?" Zelda questioned. Sabrina glanced at Genevieve, who was leaning over the top of the banister and mouthed I didn't say anything.

"Oh, I'm sorry I missed your first day at the Academy," she apologized. "I had this prob-"

"How many secrets are you keeping from us?" Zelda interrupted.

Hilda piped up in typical good-cop fashion. "You didn't happen to go to Hell, bring back your father, the Dark Lord, and stick him in the bowels of the Academy without telling us, did you?"

"Putting what's left of the coven, not to mention the entire world, in grave peril, just so you can see your boyfriend." 

"That's not why I did it," Sabrina argued. 

"Oh, God. Here we go again," Genevieve muttered as Tex jumped up onto the bannister beside her. She gave his head an absent-minded scratch as she watched the scene unfold. 

"Oh, I know why you did it. Cassius delivered a stack of books with rituals about soul transference… I thought the Dark Lord was bad. I thought he was dangerous, but Lilith preserve up from his demented, lovesick daughter."

"Aunt Zelda!" Genevieve shouted. "That was so uncalled for!"

"I couldn't just leave Nick in Hell!" Sabrina defended herself. "Every second he was down there, he was in torment. Aunties, every second he was in pain."

"We know, darling," Hilda tried to comfort. 

"And it's my fault." Her cousin began to tear up with the thought of Nick's suffering. "He did it for me. I couldn't just… wash my hands of him." Hilda stepped off of the stairs and went to Sabrina to try to comfort her. "I owed it to Nick to at least try and get Lucifer out of his body and into someone else's."

Zelda had begun to abandon her condemnation of Sabrina's actions, instead demanding that she come up with a well thought-out plan. "Whose? Where do you expect to find another vessel strong enough to withstand being turned into a flesh Acheron for the Devil himself?"

In a moment of perfect timing, Ambrose and Prudence appeared in the front hallway with a raggedy, bearded man at their feet. "Aunties," he greeted. "I'm home." It was evident in his tone and lack of breath that he was exhausted. "Any chance of a cuppa?"

Genevieve went downstairs and followed her cousin and Prudence into the kitchen. 'Whatcha want, 'Bose?"

"Something to help me sleep, finally," he rasped. "Thank you, cousin." (They weren't really cousins, but it was how they had referred to each other since Genevieve had come to live with them those 8 years ago.)

"You too?" she asked Prudence. "Yes, please."

— 

  The next night, Sabrina returned home and immediately headed to Genevieve's room to de-stress from her arduous day. "That jerk Caliban challenged me for the throne," she sighed, laying down on Genevieve's bed. "Again. Legally, this time. And I had to accept it."

Her cousin took a deep breath. "Wow. He's really not letting it go, huh?"

"No. I wish he would, though."

"Well, what was the challenge? What do you have to do?"

"We're both supposed to search for the Unholy Regalia. It's a Hell thing," she explained at Genevieve's confusion. "The first item is Herod's Crown."

"H- King Herod? Like 'kill the babies' Herod?"

"That's the one."

"Jesus," Genevieve exhaled. "...No pun intended." She had been sitting on the floor with Rhiannon, watching as she explored the room, but stood up to sit next to her cousin. "Beans, you've got a lot on your plate right now. Are you sure you're gonna be okay?"

Sabrina considered her question for a moment. "No. Actually, I'm not sure. But I have to do this." She shut her eyes tight for a few seconds before opening them again and sitting upright. "And I have so much homework on top of this."

"You know what? I don't have anything to do tonight. You go to bed, I'll do your homework tonight." Sabrina smiled softly at her cousin. 

"Vieve, you don't have to do that—"

"I know. But I want to. You need to rest. Besides," Genevieve said, "I already got through all of those classes once. I can do a few assignments tonight."

— 

It was about eleven o'clock that same night and Genevieve was on a productive streak- in terms of getting her cousin's homework taken care of. She had advised Sabrina to talk to Ambrose the following day about looking for the crown and, subsequently, the rest of the regalia. In the midst of her focus, a gust of heat hit her and she could sense a presence in her room. She didn't even bother to turn around from her desk. "Go away, Caliban."

"I take it you've heard about my challenge, then?"

Genevieve set her pencil down and stared at him. "Do you have any idea the shit Sabrina's been going through, lately? I know you don't care, because all you want is power, but she's an actual person with other responsibilities and an entire life that she's dealing with on a daily basis. You're made of clay and you're from Hell, I get it, you must not have any sense of empathy, but this is taking a toll on everyone. You are such a raging narcissist." Caliban's smirk had dissipated by now. "Get out of my house, Caliban. I'm busy."

"You're wrong," he said. He was uncharacteristically quiet. "I can be empathetic." He sat down on the edge of Genevieve's bed, and Tex had allowed him to pet his head. "I do have emotions."

"Showing them from time to time might do you good." He said nothing, focusing his attention entirely on Tex rather than making eye contact with Genevieve. "Why are you here?" she asked, adopting a gentler tone. She felt as if she had been hard enough on him to get her point across. "Don't you have a crown to find, or something?"

"I've not yet located it. I was wondering if you've considered my offer?"

"Of course not," she scoffed. "I don't think you're gonna win. Beans may be busy, but she's smart. And talented."

"Well, she is the Dark Lord's daughter."

"Regardless. No, I haven't considered it. Is that all?"

"I hear there's a carnival in town."

Her brows furrowed momentarily. "What do you care?"

"Would it please the lady to accompany me? Tomorrow night?"

Genevieve went stiff like a deer in headlights. "Um… sure, okay. I guess?"

"You seem confused," he observed. 

"Yeah, I- I am. A little. Surprised. Why do you wanna go to the carnival?"

"Is this not how mortals court each other?" he asked, standing up to lean against the desk she had been working at. He seemed his usual self again, another smirk crossing his face. "Or would you rather skip the formalities?" He winked, grinning down at her. Though she was still sitting, it was obvious that he was taller than she was. 

She scoffed lightly. "Fine. I will go to the carnival with you tomorrow," Genevieve conceded. "Are you done now?"

"Are you sure you wouldn't have me spend the night?" he teased. 

"Don't push it, Dirt-Man."

"As you wish," he told her, and threw his arms up, creating a vortex of fire and returning to the pits of hell. 

— 

Genevieve finally retired to bed at about quarter till 1 in the morning. Rhiannon was cozy in her tank and Tuck was in his; Pico was sleeping in his cage and Tex was curled up at the foot of her bed. Bambi was laying with her back to Genevieve's, but the blue pit had been awoken by a sudden presence appearing in the room. In the dark, Caliban had returned once more to the girl, this time having astral projected. Bambi's head stuck up, sniffing at him. He put his finger up to his lips and whispered to the dog, "Shh." Bambi was convinced and went back to sleep, leaving the boy to himself. He walked around until he was facing her, and he knelt down at her bedside. He rested his head on one arm while his other hand brushed some stray hairs away from her face. She looked so peaceful he was almost afraid to touch her. "Sleep well, darling girl," he whispered. "And forgive me for what I must do." Without another word, he kissed her forehead and promptly returned to his physical body in Hell. 

[theramseyloft]

Cognition and Sociology Research

When I was raising doves I found some research papers about pigeons categorizing things and learning the equivalent of words the way human children do.

At the time, I just thought it was neat. 

But when we got the most pitiful pigeon I have ever seen into wildlife rehab (I'm their columbid specialist), 

I built off of that research and started talking to him, like you would a nonverbal three year old. 

 Entirely on his own, he started alerting me for anxiety attacks, and even worked out how to bring me down from bad ones if he couldn't warn me fast enough. 

He knew I was diabetic before I did, and also started alerting me for blood sugar spikes all on his own.

I'm an autistic woman with ADHD, PTSD, and pretty severe social anxiety.

My two biggest fears in public are anxiety attacks and over-stimulation.

Those of you with mental illness are aware that panic attacks and anxiety attacks are two different things.

A panic attack is a sudden reaction to a specific stimulus. 

 An anxiety attack is more of a straw that broke the camels back after a prolonged build up of stressors. 

From my perspective, they feel exactly the same.

Because I am not aware of the build up of stress until I have that last straw moment, an anxiety attack can hit me out of nowhere, for absolutely no reason I am capable of discerning in the moment.

It makes going anywhere alone absolutely terrifying because I have no way of knowing when or if or even why I may suddenly have an anxiety attack.

Under enough duress, I can’t function.  Like my brain just shorts out.

I get hit with a wave of exhaustion. All the energy drains out through the soles of my feet, and I'm just.. so deeply tired I could just crumple up where I stand. 

Blood sugar spikes feel, to me, exactly like that stressed out shut down.

Ankhou can read that build up, and differentiate between anxiety, blood sugar, and just plain physically tired.

If I am actually just tired, Ankhou will wait for me to get comfortable, snuggle in with me, and join the nap.

When he becomes aware that I'm approaching the degree of stressed that preceeds an anxiety attack, he gets on my shoulder or in my lap and leans against my cheek or preens my hand: Letting me know I need to relax and providing me a soft stim to relax come down with.

If he stands on my chest and stretches to be eye level, that't my warning that I need to immediately find a place to sit down and pet him to prevent myself from shutting down entirely.

If he has not gotten to me soon enough and I am fully shut down, he gets in my lap and gently preens the underside of my forearm until I respond to stroke him.

If I'm having a blood sugar spike, he will do absolutely anything in his power to prevent me from falling asleep! He'll start by preening and nudging my hands to pet him. If I don’t respond, he bites my fingers. 

If I don’t respond to that, he bites the back of my hand. Then the soft tender bit between my fingers, then my inner elbow, then my ear, then my cheek... 

And then if absolutely nothing else will rouse me, he will bite my eyelid.

If absolutely nothing will get me to respond, he'll find who ever else is in the house and throw himself at their office or room door until they come check on me.

And I got to thinking: If a feral literally off the street would do that on his own...

What would happen if I selectively bred the birds most comfortable around and interested in people? 

And gave them very basic training? Like responding to their name, loading eagerly into a carrier, comfortably wearing a harness, responding to a few simple commands like Step up...

At the time, I was raising show pigeons.

And one of the highest criteria for working with a breed was its tractability and docility.

So I already had this collection of the breeds that were easiest to handle, most physically fit, with the best parents instincts like tight setting of eggs and chicks and excellent feeding responses...

Letting them blend would mean I wouldn’t have to keep pairs penned anymore!

So I laid out sand on the floor to make cleaning easier, got them nest boxes and stacked them to the wall.

Got them shelves with hardware cloth supporting comfy rubber mats I could take out and hose off.

And let them pair up as they would.

I have a cap of 10 mature breeding pairs. 

 When a keeper baby hits 6 months, the adult of the same sex that is either least healthy, least friendly, or has the worst parenting record gets retired and adopted to their permanent home as a pet.

That's the only influencing I have over pairings. 

 The birds can otherwise do and bond as they please. 

 Babies who do not enjoy any aspect of the training program are not forced to continue. I just mark them as pet instead of potential therapy bird.

I record everything they do. 

 Who they pair with, how well they parented the babies, how the babies developed, who wants to sit with me, under what circumstance. 

 How treat motivated are they? 

How much and where do they like to be petted? 

How keen are they to sit with me with no treat reward vs. treat time? 

 Upon reaching maturity, does any of that change? 

 Pigeons are a very unusual sort of social among the columbidae. 

 Most other birds,  including the vast majority of dove and pigeon species, see fully self feeding fledgelings as new competition for resources and drive them out of their territory. 

 They can feed off a rich ground together, but only watch out for and cooperate with their current mate. They do not seek out other birds’ company, they just happen to be in the same place at the same time.

 Rock doves and their domesticated descendants' flocks are strikingly human like extended families.

Parents, grandkin, aunts, uncles, children, cousins, grand children: all live together year round in a nesting site that functions kinda like a human tribe or village.

Babies only ever leave the flock to start a new one when there are not enough resources to support the number of birds.

When they fledge and leave the nest, their dad takes over the bulk of their care. He feeds them, shows them where to find food, water, and nest material, and teaches them how to integrate into pigeon society.

When to be assertive so they don’t get crowded out and can get what they need, and when to defer to the status of an older, bigger bird to avoid being injured in a fight.

The rest of the flock will usually haze a peep the first day it's down: Basically each taking heir turn to assert "I'm older and bigger, and I out rank you." Knowing where they are in the chain of command makes things like coordinating flock foraging parties around avoiding predators and navigating changing weather conditions go smoothly when it's time to venture forth from the nesting grounds.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/06/150609213053.htm

Pigeon society is democratic. 

 Every fully fledged bird has a say in where they go and what they do on missions. 

 The individual that knows the best places to find food, water, or nest material will lead the mission out to get that thing, and the bird who is best at navigating leads the foraging party back home afterwards.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/04/100416214045.htm

Pigeon flocks are a meritocracy. 

 A mission leader earns that status by actually being the best at that specific task, and if some one else gets better at it, the flock will follow that bird instead.

https://www.audubon.org/news/in-homing-pigeon-flocks-bad-bosses-quickly-get-demoted

This one isn’t pigeon specific, but pigeons are SUPER communicative, and it would not surprise me to find that this applies to pigeon peeps as well. 

https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/stories/baby-birds-communicate-eggs-hatch?fbclid=IwAR39CYrHAfFM6nAP8Rq3TvOox1p5vcb3Z87xqjPoiYNCwMoRvuQaWCeSFjs

 Maybe less because their parents sit on them constantly, but I have seen evidence for peeps hatching with anxiety during a stressful time for the flock. 

Pigeons, like baboons, are capable of higher level cognition.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/02/090212141143.htm

In fact, their brains are wired a lot like ours!

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/07/130717095336.htm

Facial recognition is as important to them as it is to us, and it functions the same way ours does.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/07/130717095336.htm

Like corvids, and unlike most parrots, pigeons recognize themselves in mirrors.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080613145535.htm

I have seen evidence that they can differentiate a mirror from a photo and a video, and can recognize themselves in a video with significant delay.

This degree of self awareness is why their name is the first concrete thing my babies learn.

When a baby reaches a week of age, it gets a name and observes the older birds at treat time in my lap. 

 I greet each individual by name and give them a safflower seed held between thumb and forefinger. (Making my hand look more bird head shaped than the usual talon or snake head shape that hands present to birds on an instinctive level) 

 There are often individuals in a flock who will feed any peep that toddles up and begs. By doing treat time this way, I take on this "auntie" roll for my flock and emulate the comfort of being fed by a big, protective parent. 

 When the baby starts to peck and beg me for seeds, I greet it by name and pop a safflower seed into its mouth just like the adults. 

 That baby learns that its name specifies that I am addressing it, and no other bird, and associates being addressed by name with getting something good. 

The end result is a baby who knows and eagerly responds to their name.

The information in these three studies: 

proving that pigeons categorize like we do https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/04/140402095107.htm

They learn the equivalent of words the way human children do https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150204184447.htm

And pattern map with enough nuance to differentiate a word from an acronym the same number of letters. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/09/160919111535.htm

 was the basis of my linguistic training with Ankhou. 

 Language is a pattern of matching words to objects, places, individuals, actions, and concepts. 

 Pigeons are communicative, social learning pattern mappers, already wired to map the pattern of language by the same mechanic as a human toddler. 

 My job is to feed Ankhou the pattern by which humans vocally communicate and let him do with it what pigeons do best. 

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/12/171204144805.htm

Pigeons understand abstracts like time and space.

Ankhou understands the abstract concepts of choice and consent, and is capable of giving me a clear yes or no answer.

And the exciting thing is that he isn’t special in that regard. 

 All pigeons are wired to learn language this way, and with patience and consistence, any of them at any age can be taught. 

 It's just easiest for babies who were raised with it.

Pigeon society is close enough to a big, extended human family that an individual pigeon can integrate easily into a human flock.

The more easily they can communicate with us and we can with them, the more easily they can integrate and the closer bonds they can form with their partner.

So the bulk of our research here at The Ramsey Loft is centered around decoding pigeon communication, pushing to see how much of ours they can be taught, what environment and methods are most conducive to teaching them, how big a part genetics play, and how accurately those traits can be selected for.

[kamandzak]

Among the Great Unknown | Excerpt

I’m writing a sequel to my last book and this part of the first chapter devastated me to both write and reread.

Context: Andrew Garland has died after a lengthy battle with HIV. His sisters, parents, husband, and daughter are all present and handling the immediate aftermath as best as they can.

Recommended listening: Miracles by Two Steps from Hell

Henry was sitting in the living room, the space illuminated softly by a well-placed candle. Off in the distance, through layers of grief and cotton, stifled cries came from the bedroom just around the corner. I wasn’t sure I was ready to face the music and so I sat wordlessly down on the couch and in a last-ditch effort to occupy my hands, I took his, staring at his fingers as if doing so would bring Andrew back. His cuticles bloody and nails bitten down past the bed, they reflected what I could only imagine ravaged his internal organs as he watched his husband grow sicker and sicker.

           “I wish I had just done it,” he whispered, hands beginning to shake beneath mine.

           “Done what?”

           “He was so adamant about not. He was adamant about me staying around. Staying healthy. He was so bent on adoption after his time with Greg.” Henry’s open conversation about Andrew’s boyfriend from years back both surprised me and didn’t. “And when it finally went through, there was no convincing him it wasn’t a good idea.”

           “What?”

           “There’s this hole, now,” Henry stole a hand back and clapped against his chest, breathing becoming more labored by the word, “and I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering if I should have thrown him onto the bed one night and just done it,” he gasped. “I know we have a beautiful daughter who needs her father to be around, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this without him. Why didn’t I just do it? Why do I have to live wondering what it would have been like to love him?”

I pulled Henry to my chest and he slammed against my ribcage, his body convulsing so strongly I felt my own body shifting in it’s seat.

           “He was loved,” I managed.

           “But not in the way he deserved. I-.”

           “I’ve never met a man so capable of love, and I think you know that. I think you know that his way of showing he loved you was to keep you safe so that Rose has a father. Just because you didn’t fight back on that request doesn’t mean you didn’t love him.”

Henry dissolved and I sat uselessly, unsure if I was of better use in the living room, with my wife, or back at home with my children. Andrew had talked about how death makes you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. He was right.

           “Duncan, I don’t know what to do.”

           “I… I don’t either.” I looked around the room in a desperate search for something to talk about that wasn’t going to reduce Henry down to an even smaller entity. “Rose. Where’s Rose?”

           “She didn’t want to be around all of this. She doesn’t know what to do.”

           “Is she in her room?”  

           “I think? Fuck, Duncan I have no clue. I don’t know anything anymore.”

           “Can I go look for her?”

           “Please.”

I rose, leaving Henry slumped against the worn cushions of a sofa that had once belonged to Tessa before she and Andrew moved into their own places, her with Reese, Andrew with Henry. Years of memories lived in that couch that now barely kept Andrew’s surviving husband upright.

           Rose’s door on the second floor was closed. Four years after coming to the large and loud Garland family, her relationships with her aunts and uncles were strong but not the same could be said for her cousins. Trevor and Grace and even Nick understood that their mother and I wanted them to step up; Rose was a Garland, whether by birth or not. Trevor made a point to talk to her at family functions though it was far different from his conversations with Robert, Dalia, Colton, or Marie. Outside of her room, my heart ached for her stricken sixteen-year-old self.

           I knocked tentatively.

           “Please leave,” a quiet voice said from the other side of the door. “I don’t care who you are, I don’t want to talk to you.”

For being in the system as long as she had been, Rose was one of the kindest and most mature teenagers I had met. Life had given her plenty of reasons to go through life jaded and unhappy, but it wasn’t until I stood in the carpeted hallway that I got a hint of anger.

           “It’s not your dad. It’s Uncle Duncan,” I said. “But if you don’t want to talk to me, that’s okay.”

A moment of quiet; a moment that allowed the still audible cries from downstairs to occupy the space. I turned to leave when the door opened a hair.

           “You can come in.”

           Rose was dry-eyed and empty, her expression akin to being hit by a train. Seeing her knocked the air out of me as her face crumpled and she screwed her eyes shut, blinding grasping for me. I grabbed her and pulled her close. Her sobs were silent and excruciating.

           “I’m sorry, Rose,” I whispered, hand landing on the back of her head as she shook against my shoulder as her father had minutes before. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

           “You don’t have to say anything else. Is… is Music Dad okay?” she asked, differentiating between her fathers by what they loved the most.

           “He’s sad. He knows you don’t want to see him right now.”

           “I don’t want to see the Aunties either.”

           “That’s okay.”

           “Why?”

           “Why what? Why is it okay?”

           “Why does stuff like this happen? I know you don’t know,” she answered herself as I stood, struck by the vastness of her question. “No one does.”

           “You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?”

           “About what? Death? I didn’t like it at first,” she admitted. “But Movie Dad kept getting worse, didn’t he?” My throat tightened at her observation. “I don’t think it’d be normal if I didn’t think about it.” Roses revelation mirrored that of my eldest weeks earlier and I found myself longing for their strengthened relationship in the wake of losing Andrew. “Didn’t you?”

           “Didn’t you think about Movie Dad dying? Never mind don’t answer that. I already know the answer.”

           “Rose, can I ask you a question?”

           “Sure?” Worry rose in my throat as the words about to exit into the atmosphere processed through my brain,

           “Before you came to our family, what did you see?”

           “See?”

           “Did you see death, Rose?”

She stared at me like I’d grown a unicorn horn,

           “No. Why would you think I did?”

           “You just… speak with honesty and experience.”

           “Movie Dad told me he was sick on my fifteenth birthday – after I got my learners. He told me not to spend a lot of time thinking about it, but I did anyway. He started changing; doing less, being at home sleeping when I got home from school, eating later than Music Dad if he ate at all. My dads always said we couldn’t plan for the worst because that was no way to live.”

           “You’re very observant.”

           “I didn’t know my dads for the first twelve years of my life. I have a lot of catching up to do… had a lot of catching up to do,” she clarified, face falling and rose beginning to crinkle as I practically watched the panic rise in her chest.

           “Do you want me to get Movie Dad?” I asked and she nodded, tight lipped and teary. I tore out of her room without another word.

           Downstairs, my beautiful wife seemed a decade older than she had been when she bid me adieu as she sat on the couch with another sister-in-law, Beth, and Henry. He rose at the sight of me.

           “You’d better go up there,” I began. “She’s ready for you.”

           “She’s starting to feel, isn’t she?” I nodded. “Simon’s on his way,” he said to a red-faced Beth. “Maybe Duncan can sit with you too.”

I nodded, sitting in Henry’s vacant spot as he ripped up the stairs. Sara took my hand in hers, the other easing Beth’s face into her shoulder.

           “I love you,” she said to me as I slid closer.

           “Where are the others?” Sara nodded in the direction of the spare bedroom Andrew had been moved to the week before. “And the husbands?”

           “Frank and Simon are driving in now. Reese has been for a couple days with Tessa. Anita’s in there too.”

           “And your mom and dad? They’re,” Sara’s eyes flickered to the right, “in the room too. Got it.”

           “How are the kids?”

           “They know. They want to talk to you in the morning.”

           “And school? What are we going to do?”

Sara knew me well after thirty-plus years. Distract me with logistics. Set small, attainable tasks so I don’t flounder. Keep me focused.

           Andrew’s death was different, though.

           “Do you want them to see him?”

           “No,” Sara said with a shake of her head. “I don’t. Hospice is coming to call time of death,” she managed and I nearly retched. “Then the home is coming to pick him up”

           “Have you called Lewis?”

My wife looked at me, startled,

           “I…. I didn’t even think about him.”

           “I’ve got this,” I reassured as the front door opened and Simon and Frank rushed in.

           “Beth,” Simon said as he ran forward, I rose quickly, as did Sara, and the two of us embraced and Simon fell onto the couch and threw himself against his wife.

           “Where’s Clara?” Frank asked as the door to Andrew opened and his wife emerged along with Tessa and Reese. He reached out, pulling her close.

           In the dark silence we stood, the Garland Husband’s with our downtrodden wives.

             “Hello?”

           “Lewis Johnson?”

           “This is he?”

           “I’m sorry to call you in the middle of the night, but my name is Duncan Nelson. I’m Andrew Garland’s brother-in-law,” I paused, hoping my introduction would be enough and I wouldn’t be forced to speak the truth. “I-.”

           “When did he go?”

           “A couple of hours ago,” I breathed out with relief.

           “He’s still out in Nevada?”

           “We all are.”

           “Text me the address. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Click.

           How many others were there to tell? Who else could I call and break the news to so the others didn’t, while I was in the mindset to do so? I ran the extensive list of family members and friends that surrounded my extended family.

           “Who was that?” I looked up to find Henry and Rose entering the kitchen.

           “Lewis.”          

           “Right, crap,” Henry self-censored himself in front of his daughter. “I’d forgotten about him.”

           “Who else can I call and tell? Anyone on your end? Family? Friends?”

           “I need to call them. Not you.”

           “I can help you, though, if you want.”          

           “You should call grandpa,” Rose took her father’s hand. “I think I’ll go find the Aunties.” She left without another word, heading for Andrew’s room.

           “Thank you for talking to her,” Henry managed. “Sometimes she just needs someone to talk to her a certain way. I think you’re her favorite.”

           “Let’s call your dad,” I answered.

           “He’s going to know as soon as he sees my number.”

           “That’s okay. I know Andrew died,” he shuddered, “but you’re still here. Let’s get your dad in the loop.”

Slowly, as if controlled by the worlds slowest puppet master, Henry took his phone and found his fathers number. I reached over, placing it on speakerphone as it began to ring.

           “Henry.” I had only met Scott Steven’s once before, at the wedding, but the speed with which the call was answered told me he knew the purpose behind the 3 AM contact. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” The line went quiet.

           “I wasn’t supposed to make it past thirty,” Henry whispered. “I’d do anything to go back and not just to not feel the way I do.”

Reaching over, I took the phone from the table and searched for two additional contacts. Records showed messages sent to them mere hours before Andrew’s death.

           “Hello?”

           “Hello, is this Wade?”

           “It is.”

           “My name is Duncan Nelson. I am Andrew Garland’s brother-in-law.”

           “I remember you from the wedding. Do Emmett and I need to come?”

           “Yes.”

           “We’ll tell Tony and Mariellen, and we’ll all get there as soon as we can.”

           “Thank you.”

           “Henry? Are you there?” Henry eked out a choked cough. “Hang in there, we’re on our way.”

             There was a knock on the front door as I read and re-read the email to be sent to my children’s teachers. MaryBeth and Thomas had left the room at some point earlier though no one seemed to have a sense of time. The girls were back in the room, just the five siblings. No husbands, no parents, no additional support.

           MaryBeth opened the door and stepped back.

           “Ma’am,” a tall man in a well-pressed suit began and I quickly put my phone down and approached the front door as MaryBeth’s hand covered her open mouth. “Ma’am, we’re here to help you.” Behind him stood a tall, well-built woman in a black pencil skirt, white dress shirt, and a similar blazer to the man. “We’ll be in with our materials in just a few minutes. Please take your time.”

MaryBeth looked at me with horribly fearful eyes and I turned and rushed to the bedroom I had yet to brave. The door was open just a crack.

           He looked like he was sleeping, Andrew, and not all that different from the last time I had seen him, when we’d all piled into the living room with the older children to watch a movie. Like he had been for most of his life, each sister seemed to cling to him as if holding him could bring him back to life. His head rested against his husband’s thigh as Henry sat cross-legged at the head of the bed, weaving his fingers through Andrews’s hair while his other hand sat on his heart. I could barely stand to look at any of them.

           “They’re here,” I croaked. “To take him.”

Henry began to cry, Clara rising from her position on the floor near Andrew’s knees to console him. Sara nodded before she rose and stretched. Beth turned on her heel and left immediately, the sound of her bare feet pounding the stairs echoing through the first floor.

           Tessa broke, her body shaking against the bed as she knelt beside the bed, arms outstretched over Andrew’s shins. Her hands grabbed at nothing, her cries mimicking those of a dying animal needing to be put out of its misery. Thomas came into the room and put an arm around his youngest daughter but she pushed him away.

           There was nothing any of us could do and I went to the doorway, prepared to beckon to Reese. He was already at the opening.

           “Tess,” he said quietly. “Tess-.”

           “They can’t take him away from me!” she cried. “Why couldn’t we do anything? Why couldn’t I fix him? I was supposed to keep him safe and I couldn’t! I promised,” she gasped. “I promised to keep him safe and I didn’t.”

Tears sprung to my own eyes for the first time that night at the sight of my sister-in-law agonizing over fate. Standing in the doorway were the two well-dressed individuals and without another word, the room emptied, Reese carrying his wife out to the living room and Clara’s long arm wrapped around Henry’s middle.

           “I can’t watch,” Sara whispered to me.

[let-the-dream-begin]

A Place to Belong Chapter 24: Shadows

Chapter 23

Read on AO3

August 24th, 1747

The fields were just about ready to be harvested with September just around the corner. The barley stalks were nearly golden, the green gradually disappearing with each passing day. So, too, was Brianna changing gradually with each passing day. Her gaze grew sharper every day; sometimes Claire thought that her infant daughter could see right through her with those piercing blue eyes. Even though they were set inside chubby little cheeks, she could swear sometimes that it was Jamie looking right at her and not her daughter.

She was smiling all the time now, and laughing. God, that sound. Claire would never get enough of it. She often went far out of her way to do something that she knew would make her laugh, though she really didn’t have to whenever Kitty was around. At two-and-a-half, the little lass was cheeky as ever, learning more words to drive her parents mad every day. She was growing quite limber on her little legs, and was quite the troublemaker. Claire dreaded the day that Brianna became just as mobile and could join Katherine in her wee escapades.

Already they were getting into trouble together, with Kitty leading the way on foot and Brianna trailing behind on her hands and knees. Kitty hardly ever went anywhere without Brianna following, and Claire and Jenny had taken to calling Brianna “the little shadow,” or sgàil.

Today was one of those rare, gloriously sunny days, a perfect day for a picnic by the mill. Wee Jamie had become more and more insistent on helping in the fields, but seeing Maggie with the hoop and stick, ready to play, had made him rethink asking to help today. Jenny had admonished him, insisted that he had to finish the job he started, but Ian had waved her off.

“No need fer the lad to grow up so fast, aye?”

She’d relented, and now he and Maggie were running like little heathens with the hoop and their sticks, Kitty helplessly chasing them. Claire and Jenny were chatting over their mending, Brianna babbling to herself between them on the blanket with Lambert clutched in one of her fists. It wasn’t long before Kitty grew tired of being left out of Maggie and Jamie’s game, and she toddled over to the blanket.

“Banna!” she called as she got closer. “Come play, Banna!”

Claire looked down to see Brianna was looking at Kitty with rapt attention, Lambert hanging limply at her side.

“Go on, darling, go play with Kitty.” Claire set her mending aside and lifted Brianna from her middle, then set her on her hands and knees. “Go on, lovie.”

Brianna let out a little cooing noise and gave a wide, lopsided grin before crawling with impressive speed toward Kitty, who squealed with excitement at seeing her little shadow joining her in the field.

Claire chuckled to herself and shook her head. “You were right. We’re in for it with those two.”

Jenny smirked and glanced up from her mending. “Aye. Fer all we know Brianna could ha’ been a perfect wee angel, but now she’s met Kitty we’ll never know.”

Claire laughed. “I seem to recall you were nearly as much of a little devil as she is?”

“Och, no’ nearly so bad,” Jenny said defensively.

“Really? I suppose only a perfect angel would put insects in her brothers’ supper?”

“You try growin’ up wi’ two brothers, yer scale will shift dramatically,” Jenny said, laughing. Claire joined in the laughter as well. “Ye’ve told me ye never had a sister. Did ye ever have brothers?”

“Oh, no. I was an only child. I was five when I became an orphan.”

“Oh,” Jenny said thoughtfully. “That uncle ye speak of, he…”

“Raised me, yes,” Claire said. “I’ll forever be grateful to him. He treated me like his own daughter. But I can’t say I wasn’t ever lonely. For a companion my age.”

Jenny nodded in understanding. “Canna imagine my childhood wi’out Jamie and Willie.”

“That’s why I’m so glad that we’re here, with all of you.” Claire looked up at the squealing group of little ones before her. “Brianna deserves to have all that I never could.”

“She’ll never be lonely, that’s fer sure,” Jenny said wryly. “I’d wager she’ll be begging Kitty to leave her alone in two years time.”

Claire chuckled. “We’ll see about that.”

“Claire!” Jenny suddenly dropped her mending and began swatting at her shoulder.

“What on Earth?”

“Look!”

Claire looked up at the field and immediately dropped her own mending at the sight: 

“Banna stand-in’!”

“Dinna touch her, Kitty!” Jenny called, scrambling to her feet and helping Claire get up. They quickly and gingerly approached where Brianna was standing. Jenny lifted Kitty under her arms and deposited her out of the way despite her protests.

“Brianna!” Claire called. “Hello, darling! Come here! Walk to Mummy!”

Brianna’s face broke out into another adorable, crooked grin, and she flapped her hands a little, giggling incessantly at her mother.

“Don't you laugh at me,” Claire said, laughing out loud herself. “Come on, darling! Come here!”

The wee devil just laughed again, tossing her head back and causing her to land square on her little bum.

“Uh-oh! Banna fell down!”

Banna seemed completely unphased, however; she was still laughing her head off.

“You silly little thing…” Claire shook her head, quickly approaching where Brianna fell. “It’s alright, lovie, get back up, come on…” She took hold of Brianna’s little fists and got her back to her feet.

“That’s it, mo ghraidh!” Jenny said. “Come on, now!”

“Ready, baby? Ready to walk?” Claire kept a tight hold on her hands, crouching over her, and took a step. Brianna mimicked, taking a step with her. “Yes! That’s it! Good girl!”

Claire took a step with her other foot, and so did Brianna.

“That’s it, a sgàil! Keep going!”

Step after step they took together, until finally, Brianna wrenched her hands from Claire’s grip and closed the distance to her Auntie all by herself. Jenny laughed out loud as Brianna launched herself into her arms, and Claire cried out joyously.

“Banna walk-in’! Banna walk-in’!”

Claire rushed to Jenny’s side and took her baby in her arms, her cheeks sore from smiling. “That’s right, little girl! Brianna is walking!” She held her over her head, eliciting shrieking giggles from her, before returning her to her hip and planting a huge, wet kiss on her cheek. “Mummy is so proud of you, baby. Such a big girl!”

Did you see, Jamie? Did you see what your daughter just did...?

——

November 23rd, 1747

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…”

Claire sang softly in Brianna’s ear, bouncing her gently in her lap. Jenny put down the little cake Mrs. Crook had concocted on the table in front of them.

“Happy birthday dear Brianna, happy birthday to you.”

The candle stuck in the middle was certainly no birthday candle, but it would do.

“Alright, darling! Ready to blow?” Brianna simply looked around aimlessly, causing chuckles all around the room. Claire blew out the candle herself.

“Yay!” she crooned, clapping her hands. Brianna giggled and copied her, clumsily clapping her little hands. Light applause from the whole family filled the room, and Claire kissed Brianna’s cheek.

Claire had declared that Brianna was going to get as close to a twentieth-century first-birthday as she could, and she’d gotten a kick out of Jenny and Ian’s reactions when she’d explained it all to them, the cake, the candle, the song. Jenny had rolled her eyes and begrudgingly agreed, and Ian had seemed completely fascinated, eyes lit up like a little boy as he asked to hear more. They’d explained it all to Mrs. Crook by saying it was some tradition from the East that she and her uncle had adopted along their travels. 

The candle was removed, and Claire pulled the dish closer to Brianna. “Go on darling, have some.”

As Claire expected, Brianna dove her hands clumsily into the cake. For a moment she just played with it, apparently unaware that she was supposed to eat it. Claire laughed and brought a bit of it into her mouth, and Brianna immediately perked up and took the hint. She began shoving fistfuls of it into her own mouth, causing everyone to laugh.

“She likes yer cooking, Mrs. Crook!” wee Jamie exclaimed.

“Good thing!” Mrs. Crook said. She began setting out dishes of other little cakes, having made one for each member of the family.

One year old. It was unfathomable to Claire.

In one year, her little girl had grown from a helpless little bundle into a feisty wee girl. She was walking regularly now; she hadn’t used crawling to get around in almost a month. She was regularly eating bannocks and soft, cut-up fruits. Claire was hopeful she’d be weaned in the next couple of months.

In one year, she’d also had six seizures.

None had been as bad as that first one, and after the second one, everyone had been much more prepared. Claire was confident now that they hadn’t had any lasting effect on her development, that she’d be a perfectly normal little girl aside from the occasional seizure. She’d stopped living in complete fear and guilt, but it was always in the back of her mind, waiting to pounce and claw at her throat at any given moment.

As terrible as it sounded, with more practice, Claire handled each seizure better. She’d of course prefer if they stopped happening altogether, but if they were going to happen, she may as well learn how to handle them. A routine had been established, and it was the lifeline she clung to to keep her grounded while her baby was spasming and vomiting on the ground. She had no choice but to get used to it; at this point, it seemed they were looking at full blown epilepsy rather than neonatal seizures that stopped after a certain age.

And yet, through it all, Brianna thrived. She smiled, she laughed, she played with her cousins and the dogs, she learned, she grew. She belonged here, in this place, in this time. Watching her daughter flourish here for an entire year made Claire all the more certain of that fact.

And she looks more like him every day.

——

January 3rd, 1748

Another Hogmanay came and went, and Claire was doing her fair share of treating tenants with various stages of hangover or borderline alcohol poisoning.

“However many farming accidents I treated during harvest season is insignificant to the alcohol related incidents from Hogmanay,” she said wryly to Jenny as she plopped onto the sofa in the parlor. The girls were sitting in front of the fireplace with Luke and Bran, rubbing bellies and flapping ears. She’d just finished giving a man stitches after he’d fallen face first onto the floor, apparently still drunk. According to his wife, he hadn’t stopped drinking since the party.

Jenny didn’t answer, and Claire looked at her, worried. “Are you alright, Jenny?”

“Oh, aye, just fine,” she said, forcing a smile.

“Are you sure? You look a little peaked.” Claire felt her forehead for any fever.

“Och, perhaps I’m no better than all those drunks ye’ve been healing, aye?” She chuckled softly, and Claire smiled. “Ye’re enjoying all yer healing, aye?”

“Oh, of course,” Claire said quickly. “It’s an honor to help your tenants. And it’s wonderful to see how much they trust me.”

“They can tell ye’re a good woman underneath all that Englishness.” Jenny gave her a pat on the thigh, and Claire rolled her eyes.

Brianna’s giggle sounded just then, followed by an unmistakable sound.

“Dog!”

Jenny and Claire both whipped their heads up.

“That wasn’t -- ”

“No’ mine -- ”

“Did she just -- ”

“Aye, I think she did!”

Claire immediately jumped to her feet and fell to her knees on the rug in front of the fireplace. “What did you say, Brianna? Dog? Did you say dog?”

“Dog!” she cried again, burying her hands in Luke’s fur and beaming at Claire.

“Yes! That’s a dog!” Claire laughed joyously. “Clever girl, Brianna!”

Before any more celebration could take place, Jenny’s smile disappeared and she abruptly dashed from the room.

“Jenny?”

“Mam?” Maggie said.

“Stay here, Maggie, it’s alright.” Claire quickly got to her feet and followed Jenny out of the parlor. She followed the sound of retching, and found her bent over the back porch.

“Jenny…” Claire quickly ran to her, putting a soothing hand on her back. “Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling ill?”

She breathed deeply for several seconds, spitting the bitter flavor from her mouth. “Didna want to worry ye over something I wasna sure of.”

“What do you mean?”

Jenny looked up at her, face flushed with sickness and the bitter cold, smiling sheepishly. “I think I’m wi’ child, Claire.”

——

September 28th, 1748

Claire had had Fergus help her whittle some wood into something resembling the earliest stethoscope, which wouldn’t actually be invented for another hundred years. After several trials and errors, they finally figured it out, and Claire had been using it to monitor Jenny’s most recent pregnancy. It had been great fun to share this little scientific discovery with Fergus. For all he knew, they were inventing something brand new together. His genuine excitement was quite endearing. Even at his fourteen years of age, Claire could still see glimpses of that little boy that she’d fallen in love with.

Claire and Jenny were in the Laird’s room together for one of Jenny’s check-ups. She had the stethoscope pressed to her ear against Jenny’s swollen middle, listening carefully.

“The heartbeat is very strong,” Claire said, smiling. She put the wooden tube down and began to feel around, making sure of the position. Claire frowned slightly, feeling its head up top.

“Is it another breech baby?” Jenny said fretfully.

“I’m afraid it seems that way…though there is still time for it to move. I can see if palpating will help this time since your waters haven’t broken yet.” Claire felt around to get a grip on the baby, but she paused. If she wasn’t mistaken, she could feel its head at the bottom, in the correct position. Her brow furrowed. It could not have possibly moved that quickly. She felt up again, keeping one hand on the head.

Her eyes suddenly widened in astonishment. She immediately snatched the stethoscope again and pressed it into Jenny’s belly.

“What?” Jenny said worriedly.

“Shh!” Claire hushed her, listening very carefully through the wooden tube. Yes, certainly that was a heartbeat, right there. She then slid it around on Jenny’s large belly, keeping her ear firmly pressed into it, until she heard it again. Only it was not in the same place. Certainly the baby was not moving. There was only one other explanation.

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ,” Claire breathed in amazement.

“What, Claire?” Jenny demanded.

“I think I hear two heartbeats, Jenny,” Claire said, her brows knitting in apprehension.

“Two?” Jenny looked bewildered. “How can the bairn possibly — ”

Claire bit her lip as she watched a wide range of emotions make their way across Jenny’s face. Bewilderment, realization, shock, terror.

“A Dhiah!” she exclaimed. “Two? Ye mean…”

“Twins,” Claire confirmed, nodding. “You’re going to give birth to twins, Jenny.”

Jenny’s mouth flapped uselessly, blinking repeatedly.

“Do you need some water?” Claire said.

Jenny nodded wordlessly, her mouth still hanging open. Claire quickly retrieved a glass and placed it in Jenny’s hands.

“Are you alright?”

“I…I dinna ken how I should feel,” Jenny said. “It’s…joyful, no doubt, but we…we could barely afford to feed one more mouth…and now wi’ two…”

“I can’t imagine how frightening that must be, with everything so uncertain…but you’ll manage. We’ll manage. We have for this long, haven’t we?” Claire took one of Jenny’s hands in both of hers.

Jenny nodded hesitantly. “Christ…will I be in labor for twice the normal amount of time?”

Claire laughed softly. “No, it doesn’t work quite like that, thank God.”

Jenny breathed a sigh of relief, crossing herself. “Dinna think I’d survive if it did.”

“Labor is the normal amount of time, whatever that is for you, and then you just have to push two separate babies. There’s usually a bit of a wait in between.”

Jenny nodded. “And ye’ll be there? Ye’ll help the midwife? God willing she shows up.”

“Of course I’ll be there.” Jenny squeezed her hand. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Not only because you’re my sister, but I’ve never seen the delivery of twins before. This will be quite educational for me.” Her eyes sparkled teasingly.

“Glad that my extra pains will be exciting fer ye.” Jenny rolled her eyes, but Claire could see the smile she was trying to suppress.

“You’ll be alright. I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Claire pulled Jenny’s shift back down. “I’ll pull the second one out if I have to. Again.”

“Father help us.” Jenny threw a glance upward, crossing herself.

“Like I said, there’s still time for them to move around. So we can hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“I trust ye, Claire,” Jenny said firmly. “I trust ye wi’ my life and the lives of my bairns. So if ye say all will be well then I believe ye.”

Claire smiled warmly and gave Jenny’s hand a final squeeze. “Good."

——

On October ninth, Claire found herself tearing through the potato fields to find Ian, her face flushed with adrenaline and the autumn chill.

“Ian!” she called, running toward him. “The babies are here!”

He threw down his tools and rushed to meet her in the middle.

“Well?” he said, breathless and impatient. “Tell me!”

“Janet Claire Fraser Murray,” she said, the name that he and Jenny had decided for another lass.

“Ah, Janet Claire. Another wee daughter.” He beamed proudly.

“And…” she bit her lip, leading him to believe for just a moment that she’d say the second girl name they’d picked out. “Michael Brian Fraser Murray.”

Ian’s face immediately changed from quiet pride to explosive joy. He laughed, louder than Claire had ever seen him laugh. Claire squealed as he crushed her to him in a bear-hug, lifting her off the ground and spinning her.

“A Dhiah! Another son!” He placed her back down and kissed both of her cheeks. “Ye’ve made me mad wi’ joy, Claire!”

Claire laughed, steadying herself on Ian’s shoulders.

“Dinna mistake me, Claire. I love my lasses wi’ all my heart, and I’ll love Janet just as fiercely. But another son…!”

“Well, go on! Go meet them!”

Ian laughed again, sprinting toward the house.

That night, Claire cried.

At first, she had no idea why. She simply sat down on her bed and wept bitterly. She should have been happy. She had helped deliver two healthy, beautiful babies today, one of which was named after her. 

But the more she thought about it, the clearer it became.

Her mind kept returning to that moment she shared with Ian in the fields, the senseless joy on his face.

A proud father.

And then her mind would wander to the scene she’d walked into shortly after, Ian sitting on the bed beside Jenny, each of them cradling a baby, delirious with baby-fever induced happiness.

A mother sharing her children with their father for the first time.

In the moment, it was tender, beautiful, heartwarming.

Now it seemed cruel and unfair.

Why were we denied that, twice…?

Claire shed her bitter tears, clamping a hand over her mouth to stifle the screams that were demanding to be released from her throat.

Why did you take that away from me?

“Mummy!”

Claire gasped softly and hurriedly wiped her face clean of tears. Brianna had recently mastered crawling up the stairs and sliding down on her bum, and she was now pawing at the bedroom door. Claire had tried to get it in everyone’s head that she should not be on the stairs unsupervised lest she have a seizure and fall all the way down, but she’d evidently managed to avoid detection.

“Mummy!”

“Coming, darling.” She took one more brief moment to compose herself before rushing to the door. When she opened it, she immediately scooped the squealing toddler into her arms and kissed her all over her little face.

God, that laughter.

No matter the pain Claire was in, nothing mattered more than seeing to it that Brianna was safe and happy; seeing to it that she never saw the depth of her mother’s despair, that she was never touched by that darkness that threatened Claire at every turn.

[kurowrites]

This Cursed Broken Heart - Part II

Second part to this. All parts. I wanted to finish the entire thing, but I don’t have the energy right now, so well. Have part two of three or four, idk.

---

Sunday comes, and Wei Ying’s nervousness has not abated one bit.

He doesn’t have to be worried about Lan Zhan, he knows that. Lan Zhan has always been a favourite with his extended family, because let’s face it, Lan Zhan is the kind of boy you want to introduce to your family. Lan Zhan is the kind of man that your family hopes you’ll marry one day.

Wei Ying is the kind of boy your family always warns you about.

That error in judgement really came back to haunt Lan Zhan later on. Wei Ying still remembers the moment when he looked at Lan Zhan and realised that they were stuck in a hole they couldn’t get out of. And that’s when he had known it was time to leave.

He doesn’t have to be worried about Lan Zhan, but he has to be worried about his own messy feelings.

He picks Lan Zhan up at 10 o’clock sharp, and as always, Lan Zhan is already waiting for him. He’s wearing a form-fitting white three-piece suit and a light blue shirt today, but has foregone a tie to break the formal stiffness of the look. Instead, a patterned silk handkerchief in tucked into his breast pocket. He looks effortlessly elegant, as if he’s just stepped out of the pages of a fashion magazine. Wei Ying hates it, because goddamn, it makes him feel inadequate. His own black suit and red shirt combo make him look crummy in comparison.

It also makes him want to worship at the altar of Lan Zhan again.

He slaps his best smile on his face and leads Lan Zhan to the car.

“Just tell Granny Yu you’ve been very busy with work if she asks anything private, ok?” he tells Lan Zhan as they drive off. “And ignore Jiang Cheng. He’s grumpy because I managed to recruit you. He has to face the aunties on his own now. They’re going to try and matchmake this year too, set him up with some unsuitable and unlucky girl, I have no doubt. He hates it, but he still never manages to tell them to stop.”

“You are not dating?” Lan Zhan asks, which isn’t really what Wei Ying intended Lan Zhan to take away from this conversation.

Wei Ying shoots him a quick, considering look, but Lan Zhan isn’t looking at him.

“No,” he says eventually. “That would be a little weird, wouldn’t it? ‘I know we’re dating but I need to take my ex to this party because Granny Yu expects him to come.’ No, that wouldn’t work out well. Might as well ask them to break up with me at once.”

Lan Zhan doesn’t deign an answer to that, and keeps staring out of the car window in silence. Wei Ying falls silent, too, not knowing what to talk about next. Every topic seems to be fraught with dificculties. He knows so much about Lan Zhan, but asking him about his rabbits, his brother or if work is going well seems either shallow or cruel, depending on how you look at it.

They drive on without speaking again, until they finally arrive at the venue.

“There we are,” Wei Ying sighs. “Okay, Lan Zhan, it’s time to put on your boyfriend hat. Have you decided what you want as your reward? Remember that I’m poor, though. I can’t get you expensive things.”

Lan Zhan doesn’t reply, but he gets out of the car and goes around to the other side, so he can help Wei Ying out. He often did that, when they dated; old-fashioned chivalry that never failed to make Wei Ying blush. As if it still comes natural to him, Lan Zhan’s hand settles on the small of Wei Ying’s back once he’s out of the car, and he guides him towards the entrance with an ease Wei Ying is jealous of. A pulse of white-hot electricity races up and down Wei Ying’s spine at being touched this way by Lan Zhan.

Not a single person has touched him like this for an entire year, and the fact that it’s Lan Zhan who’s doing it, doing it again, makes something in Wei Ying’s brain go a little fuzzy.

They step into the fancy restaurant that Jiang Fengmian reserved for his birthday party, and they are immediately welcomed by a stampeding horde of noisy relations. Everyone is here, from his little toddler cousins to that one great-aunt that’s like a hundred years old, and it’s both painfully familiar and yet also tinged with a sense of enduring strangeness. None of these people are connected to him by blood, after all. He’s not here because he belongs.

He never even met his actual grandparents.

Lucky for Wei Ying, Lan Zhan is a bastion of calm in the noisy chaos of the Jiang family coming to greet them. They congratulate Jiang Fengmian and enjoy the thirty seconds of attention he can bestow upon them, and then continue greeting all other members of the family. Lan Zhan sticks to his side, so he simply stays right where he is, half-shielded by Lan Zhan, and pastes a friendly smile on his face.

‘Yes, look here,’ he says to himself. ‘Your token gay cousin and his boyfriend are here.’

It’s a ridiculous notion, but it keeps him smiling. And it’s not wrong. Most of the offspring in the Jiang family has married early, and everyone married a heterosexual partner. All of them also got busy producing more offspring basically from the wedding night onwards. The only notable exception is Jiang Cheng, who is a late bloomer if there has ever been one, and Wei Ying, of course. Wei Ying, who always thought he was straight but never felt he should date or marry, until he fell head over heels for Lan Zhan. Wei Ying, who hasn’t looked at another person since.

Literally any other cousin in this family that is over the age of eighteen is married and has produced at least one child already. It’s kind of insane.

“Lan Zhan!” a voice drowns out the general cacophony of noise. “It’s so good to see you!”

And out of the middle of the crowd appears a tiny old woman, leaning heavily on her cane. Granny Yu is as old as stone, and her legs are bad, but her voice still carries with the vigour of a woman who’s used to being obeyed.

Lan Zhan obediently leans down so Granny Yu can inspect him. As usual, she seems to have no complaints as far as Lan Zhan is concerned. When she turns her eyes to Wei Ying, however, they become critical.

“Wei Ying!” she belts. “You are so thin! Look at you! Lan Zhan! Are you feeding him right?”

“Granny Yu,” Wei Ying tries to appease her, “I’m already an adult, I can take care of myself.”

“Nonsense,” Granny Yu grouses. “You’ve always been a terrible eater. Always hoarding your food until it went bad. Lan Zhan, you need to make sure that he’s eating.”

It’s embarrassing, to get reminded of the little habits he picked up while living on the streets. He got rid of that particular habit one year or so after he was adopted by the Jiang family, but Granny Yu never forgot about the time when she discovered his little food hoard, and has been checking his size, weight and general health ever since. She always tells her many grandchildren to eat, but with Wei Ying she’s that more tenacious. And once Wei Ying started dating Lan Zhan, she never failed to remind Lan Zhan to feed him properly. And Lan Zhan, with infinite patience, agreed with her every single time, promising to take care of Wei Ying.

Well, he did use to feed Wei Ying. But Wei Ying’s current state, which he thinks is hardly different from his usual state, is not Lan Zhan’s responsibility. If he’s a little thinner than usual, that’s on himself. Still, Lan Zhan nods seriously as he’s being admonished by Granny Yu.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says, and it’s easy to lay his hand on Lan Zhan’s chest to get his attention, as if he never stopped doing it. “Don’t listen to her. I can feed myself.”

Lan Zhan looks at him, and the mulish expression on his face is familiar enough that Wei Ying can read it immediately. Lan Zhan has said it to him before: ‘A little more weight won’t hurt you. And a little more food does neither make you greedy nor a glutton.’

“I will eat to my heart’s content today, Granny Yu,” Wei Ying says out loud, because he really wants to shut down this discussion as soon as possible. “So don’t blame Lan Zhan, hmm?”

Granny Yu seems slightly mollified by his promise. She huffs once, and then starts herding people towards where she wants them at the large tables prepared for them.

Wei Ying is relieved once Granny Yu is gone. The first test has been passed, and no one seems to have noticed anything out of the ordinary.

That changes the next moment when Jiang Cheng suddenly appears next to Wei Ying.

“I can’t believe you actually brought him with you,” he hisses into Wei Ying’s ear.

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Ying warns him. “We’ve talked about this.”

“You’re just trying to garner points with Granny Yu,” Jiang Cheng shoots back. “Because she always liked you best.”

Before anything more can be said, Wei Ying finds himself pulled away from Jiang Cheng. He just catches Lan Zhan’s angry glare (directed at Jiang Cheng) out of the corner of his eye, then he’s maneuvered to the seats that have been reserved for him and Lan Zhan.

“Sorry,” Wei Ying whispers to Lan Zhan once they’re seated. “I warned him like three times not to say anything.”

Lan Zhan doesn’t reply, but he takes Wei Ying’s hand into his own and lifts it to press a kiss on his knuckles.

The lips that brush his skin are soft and warm. It’s so gentle, and so sweet.

It’s too much.

The gesture is far too intimate; too intimate for what they are no more, too intimate for the occasion, too intimate for Wei Ying’s heart.

He pully his hand out of Lan Zhan’s hold, attempting to make it seem natural and not like he’s trying to escape the affection of his own (fake) boyfriend. Still, he has to take a few deep breaths to collect himself. It’s too much. He feels shaky. He was a fool when he thought he could casually see Lan Zhan for one day and not be haunted by the ghosts of the past that he never managed to exorcise the entire time.

Lan Zhan doesn’t try to engage him again. Instead, he exchanges a few words with one of Wei Ying’s uncles seated across the table, and the bustling around them continues as if everything is perfectly fine, until the food finally arrives.

[miss-choco-chips]

Good influence, bad influence.

Tim is one of those, and he gets the other one. Guess which is which. Ft a murder kitten, two oblivious birds, a divorce-preventing baby and a murderous mother.

(Thanks to @the-quiet-carrotcake who helped me think this through on chat and gave me ideas (THANKS BABE), and tagging @animemangasoul because they understand my need to ALWAYS include Kon when writting about Tim.

This sat on my wips for so long now, so I’m not even proofreading it. Just take it away, please)

-----.-----

-Are you sure I can’t just stab her?

-Really sure.

-How much?

-Like, 100% sure.

-You told me once it’s impossible to ever/

-...be 100% sure of something, I know. Which is how you know I mean it now.

Damian puffed his cheeks. Tim was sure that, in his mind’s eye, he looked dignifiedly annoyed. In reality, it was adorable. But since Damian currently held his right hand hostage, and was probably holding onto his dagger inside his pocket with the other one, he didn’t want to risk pointing it out. He just tugged him away, swimming through the masses, as Damian had called them upon entering the ballroom.

-But why not? 

It was as close to a whine a sound as the kid could make, which upped his adorable factor another notch. 

-You’d get blood on your suit, for one. And then, my mom would kill you.

A little shudder at the mention of Janet Drake, though the kid composed himself quickly- I wouldn’t let a single drop fall on me, cousin. I’m not an amateur.

Since Damian would have used another, more offensive word not so long ago, Tim ignored the pointed look he got when he said ‘amateur’. Also, the use of modern slang was something he was painstakingly drilling into him, so he was quiet proud when it bore fruits.

-Also, you’d draw attention to ourselves. And that woman didn’t even do anything worthy of such a reaction.

-She dared touch me! Treated me like, like… like a kid!

Pointing out that he, in fact, was one wouldn’t go well, so Tim’s mind offered an alternative route. 

-You don’t know? -he blurted out, feigning surprise. Damian looked up at him, eyes squinting suspiciously, and there, very well hidden (but not enough he didn’t notice) a little hesitancy.

-Know what?

Tim let go of the little, calloused hand, and placed both of his on the slimmer shoulders, bending down a bit to be face to face with his charge for the night. The blond wig and round glasses weren’t enough to hide Damian’s almost aristocratic features, but they sure managed to misdirect someone about his bloodline. No one would be able to tell he was Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul’s son, which was kinda the idea.

It had been a chore, to put the disguise in the proud boy, but Tim had been the one to achieve it when he dressed it as a training exercise: they had to make it through the party without its host, Mr Wayne, recognizing him.

Easy peasy, or so he had told mother when he assured her she could go make business with aunt Nicole and leave them be. He hadn’t calculated… well, other people.

-About Mrs Stingdom’s homeland.

Damian was too dignified to look over his shoulder at the lady in question, but Tim could see he wanted to.

-She’s a gothamite -he pointed out, because as Tim had suggested, he did his homework about who was attending to the party. A bit, at least. The story of so many boring socialites was too much to bear.

-She married a gothamite -he explained, doing his best to look stern about Damian’s apparent misinformation-. She’s actually from another land, which is why she pinched your checks. In her culture, it’s a sign of utmost respect towards people under ten years old who are still considered to be superiors, despite their age.

It sounded far fetched, even to his own ears, but he was playing into Damian’s social incompetency and his arrogance at believing himself above all others, which is why the kid nodded slowly after a few seconds, eating the whole lie in one bite.

His bespectacled eyes bore into his, brows furrowed. His hands went to Tim’s, still on his shoulders, a little unsure.

-Should I expect more of this… cultural difference? So I won’t be underprepared, should anyone else wish to pay me their respects in a new manner?

Sensing a chance to prevent a future stabbing, Tim was quick to nod. Mom was going to be so proud!

----.----

A little later that night, a new issue arose. Since Tim was pretty busy handling the seven year old, he had to forgo his usual Wayne-party routine, which was basically to find one of the sons and hide with them for the rest of the night.

Of course, neurotic bastards like them wouldn’t take a change in routine go like that. Because Bruce has instilled paranoia and curiosity on them like Alfred did with manners, and sadly, the last one’s teachings rarely showed up.

-Timmy! Here you are. I was worried, since you never approached us. Aww, who’s this kid? You made a friend?

He groaned internally. Dick, and behind him he could spot Jason, eyebrow arched at the novelty of Tim not looking for them immediately. He wanted to, thrived in the chance to spend even a few minutes with his idols, but duty calls, and his mind didn’t like the possibles outcomes would Damian and the Waynes meet.

-Hey, Dick… Jay. Good evening -he smiled politely, hand clutching tighter Damian’s. Don’t notice, don’t notice, please don’t notice.

To his immense relief, none of them seemed to find anything noteworthy in Damian’s face, which… was also kinda disappointing, despite him wishing for it. Like, yeah, the wig and glasses were good misdirect, but really? He would have noticed the similarities with Bruce despite them, and those two were supposedly detectives…

-Stop being so formal, kid -grumbled Jason, big hand making a mess of Tim’s styled hair. He would have complained, but… Jason’s voice and hand, okay? He was a weak teenager. Don’t judge him- Know ya since y’were  half that heigh, and lighter than my jacket.

Tim’s hormones ignored the comment on him being small, and  focused on the mental image of the mentioned jacket, most likely leather and well worn. 

…This was so not the time for  fantasizing. 

A tiny, calloused hand slapped Jason’s away, which promptly changed the mood.

-Don’t touch my cousin, you/

But Tim had prepared for this outcome, so his own hand rose just as quickly to cover Damian’s mouth.

At the word ‘cousin’, both heroes looked very interested. Tim was under no delusions, well aware Bruce and each of his adopted children had made their own background checks on him and his entire family, so they would know Damian’s claim to familiarity to be a lie, but they also couldn't really call them out on it without making it obvious they investigated him.

His head was already hurting for all the social maneuvering he had to do to keep out of trouble, and now, adding two concerned birds and one murderous kitten, it was even worse.

This was going to be a very, very long night. But both mom and Nicole had asked him, so he wouldn’t try to get out of being a (as) good (as possible) role model.

---------------.----------

Tim winced, muscles locking in a poor attempt at not showing it. From the look Conner gave him, at the other side of the room where he was being chewed out by Lex, he failed miserably at hiding his pain; which, in turn, enraged his mom even more.

-What. Did. You. DO?!

The hand not currently held by his mother went to his ear, protecting it from the almost demonic screech. He could see Auntie Nicole doing the same, sitting with Damian on the couch, sharing tea and cookies as they watched the whole show. The nine year old showed a surprising amount of sympathy towards Tim’s injuries, for someone who had been harshly trained since birth and had recently begun a career as vigilante (not that Tim was supposed to know about it, though). Or was it pity because of mom’s rage?

-You told me no tights and spandex! Never said anything about a mask and a hoodie, and Conner and the guys really needed my help with strategizing -he defended himself, because even if he shouldn't know about the waynes being heroes, he had been Conner’s friend since he found and subsequently freed him from Lex’s secret lab, which in turn warranted mom’s rule against heroing that he had just broke-. And don’t yell at me, I can hear you perfectly fine.

-I’M NOT YELLING! -she lied, tightening the bandage, scowl growing in power-, AND MASKS WERE IMPLIED AS A NO! Also, what are those if not thighs?

-Skinny jeans!

-They are indecent, that’s what they are!

On the other side of the room, Kon seemed to be having a less exhausting time than Tim. Lucky bastard, Luthor had less experience in parenthood, hadn’t yet reached the Scolding Mastery level.

-Hey! Auntie Nicole dresses like that -he points to the woman, who raises an eyebrow- and you don’t tell her anything! Look at her cleavage, you can almost see her bellybutton! 

-Leave me out of this -asked the woman, taking the teapot to refill Damian’s cup; he, in turn, handed her the cookies platter.

Ignoring her best friend, Janet snapped again- NICOLE ISN’T MY STUPID FOURTEEN YEAR OLD SON, WHO IS NEVER SEEING THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN!

-What light of day? This is Gotham, we don’t have sunlight anyway. And I’m not stupid, my IQ is higher than everyone’s in this room.

-IT SURELY LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE FROM WHERE I’M STANDING, HERE, RE-BANDAGING YOUR ARM!

Tim sighed, locking eyes with Conner in solidarity; or he wanted to, but the smug bastard’s scolding was over and he and Luthor had joined the Al Ghuls in their tea party.

-Come on, mom. This’ but a scratch.

-YOU GOT SEVEN STITCHES!!!! I can’t believe this.

She barely got her son out of vigilantism by monitoring his Wayne-Interaction and threats of boarding school and then he went and befriended a group of teen heroes and threw all her hard work straight to the trash. No, he skipped that part, he went directly to the dumpster and burried her good intentions under a pile of shit.

But really, she couldn’t very well make him entirely responsible of this, not when he got carried away by Conner’s ‘do the right thing’ speech. And Conner had came into their lives because of…

In blind rage, she finished her patch job on her son’s arm and turned in a flash to face Lex, whose face went quickly from amused to scared.

-WHY DID YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE A KID WITH SUPERMAN?

Sensing she was done with him, Tim went to sit by Kon, who moved a bit on his individual couch so they could share it, though it was a very tight fit.

-Clone -he corrected helpfully, TTK bringing Tim his coffee cup closer.

-Did I stutter? And I wasn’t talking to you, was I?

Nicole seemed like she was having the time of her life right now- So hey, listen, between you and LITERAL SUPERMAN, who was the one on the receiving end when you pictured yourself having a kid with him? Like, who was getting it? Because, pal, odds aren’t in your favor, you know.

-Don’t be stupid, dear -huffed Janet, looking at her friend’s green eyes and calming don infinitesimally- If he was actually getting it, he wouldn't have resorted to having his kid to get his attention.

-IT’S A CLONE, AND I ABSOLUTELY DIDN’T MAKE HIM TO GET THAT ALIEN’S ATTENTION! He’s my enemy, not my lover, what is wrong with you people.

-Am I a divorce-preventing baby? -asked Kon to Tim, raising an eyebrow. The other kid just shrugged.

-Looks like it. Not like Uncle Lex had any other way to keep Superman from leaving him…

-I’m right here.

-I know, Uncle Lex. I love you, but you need to rethink your choices. If the man wants to go, let him go. Kon doesn’t need any brothers. I can’t deal with more of him, one is more than enough.