#my ass did not know what else to do in the far away bg

[green-crow]

Trying to go back to normality after the flood by working on my secret santa

My friend has a twisted wonderland OC based on the caterpillar from Alice in wonderland and I wanted to redraw that "OIUEA" scene!

Writing inspiration sadly isn't hitting any more (probably because uni has been drowning me in work and I've been programming way more than I usually do) but thankfully drawing inspo seems to be ready to come out!

[na-ta-sh-aa]

I loved this chapter so much. I found it so funny in some parts, as well as sad in others, but the thing I liked the most is that the common thread is always their love!💗

"I fucked my wife so good, I broke her car,"

I know it's a sad moment because BG's beloved car is almost certainly beyond repair, but am I so bad if I found this comment from Bradley extremely sexy? Because omg🫠

“Hey, Sweetheart?" he asked, and you looked up at him with a smile. "Any chance we could go up to your office for a little privacy?"

“Jake and Nat both looked up from their lunches and smirked, and Jake even went so far as to wolf whistle at Bradley. "Absolutely," you told him as you got to your feet, ignoring everyone else at the table.”

Noo poor BG, she thinks it's for another reason that Bradely asked her to go to her office.

“Bradley kissed your cheeks and swiped your tears away, and now he felt like an ass for laughing so hard earlier. "I'm not sure, but we can talk to him after work, okay? We'll stop over there and see what's going on."

Bradley was so sweet, I loved the gentle way he told her about her car.

“Because even though he loathed it, you loved it. And he loved you.”

Aww Bradley's love for BG goes beyond all limits🥹

“But did you really have to plant your foot right there and practically rip the car in half while you got me off?!"

"Well... I was going to ask how you managed to mess the car up this badly," he said, looking through the windshield. "First time I've heard that one..."

The mechanic who heard how Bradley broke the car and comments only adds fuel to the fire😂

“You took a deep breath and closed your eyes as you said, "In case there's something wrong with me." Bradley pulled you closer, and you mumbled against his shoulder, "In case we need to pay for treatment. Fertility treatment. Or an adoption lawyer."

This part touched me so much, especially the line “In case there's something wrong with me”. It breaks my heart every time BG has these thoughts, but I'm happy that she has Bradley by her side who consoles and loves her

“We're a team. An absolutely kickass team. But we aren't even at that point yet. And I've saved a lot of money since we got married." The honeymoon had cost a small fortune, but at least there were almost no costs related to the actual wedding. His savings accounts were looking healthier these days. "We can cross that bridge when we get to it, but we aren't there yet, okay?"

The fact that Bradley always reiterates that they are a team and that they will face whatever comes before them together warms my heart every time. His words are so important.

“We can get you any car you want. And if we need money later, I can always sell the Bronco."

Is Bradley willing to sell his beloved Bronco for BG? The love Bradley has for her is so immense, she is his priority and his actions and his thoughts show it every time. BG is so lucky to have married a wonderful man like Bradley!

“You gasped, pulling yourself away from him so rapidly, your elbow hit the horn making him laugh. "I don't want you to do that!"

Just as he is equally lucky to have married a fantastic woman like BG🥹

“Thank you, hideous little car, for being there for one of the best moments of my life. Thank you for looking on with locked doors as she kissed me in the Bronco for the first time. Thank you for allowing Nat to intentionally steal your keys away from her so that she would one day marry me. You had a very good life, and you will be missed. And I'm sorry for pushing so hard that I put my boot through you... but what a way to go out. Cheers."

Aww the speech Bradley gave was so good. I loved how he mentioned their first kiss. BG's car has been there since the beginning of their relationship!🥹

I loved so much seeing how strong their love is. Bradley willing to sell the Bronco for her, his discourse for her car and the way they always support each other are just a few of the many gestures I loved.🥹💞🫧

Always Ever Only You Part 24 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: When you struggle with your feelings about your totaled car, Bradley realizes that there's more to your reaction than meets the eye. You and he are a team, and he uses his words and actions to let you know that's never going to change for him.

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst, mentions of trying to get pregnant

Length: 4600 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

"Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw, give me a call back. The car is totaled."

Bradley groaned, "Oh no. Absolutely not." Then he listened to the message over and over again, trying to detect if maybe he'd misheard the update from the mechanic. But apparently he'd heard it clear as day. Totaled. He'd totaled your ancient, little car by having rough sex with you in the backseat. Nobody had even been driving it at the time. 

Bradley snorted and then started laughing. He'd totaled your whole goddamn car by fucking you too hard. He had to turn and go back out into the hallway so you didn't see him while you were in line for your lunch in the cafeteria, because you definitely wouldn't be laughing when he broke the news to you. While he may have found your car to be tiny, uncomfortable and possibly possessed, you loved it more than almost anything else you owned.

"I fucked my wife so good, I broke her car," he said out loud as he got all of his laughter out. He had to bite his knuckle as he entered the cafeteria and grabbed a tray, loading it up with food. Then he took one last deep breath and turned toward the table filled with all of his aviator friends plus his wife. 

You were just about to bite into your hot sauce soaked burrito bowl when Bradley felt a pang of regret. He couldn't tell you down here in front of everyone else. "Hey, Sweetheart?" he asked, and you looked up at him with a smile. "Any chance we could go up to your office for a little privacy?"

Jake and Nat both looked up from their lunches and smirked, and Jake even went so far as to wolf whistle at Bradley. "Absolutely," you told him as you got to your feet, ignoring everyone else at the table. Then Bradley had to have an awkward ride up on the elevator while he held his lunch tray and listened to you whisper some seriously filthy things in his ear while you held your bowl. 

Any other day, he'd be into it. No problem. But while his cock stirred as you unlocked your office door, he cleared his throat. You looked up at him with narrowed eyes as the door swung open. "What's wrong?" you asked. "You didn't like the dirty talk? Or you don't want me to get on all fours on my desk?"

"Fuck," he groaned, ushering you inside where he set all the food down and then sank into your chair. He patted his thigh before rubbing his hand over face. "No, of course I like the dirty talk, Baby Girl. And I love getting you on all fours," he said as you looked at him in confusion. "Just have a seat. We need to talk."

"We need to talk? Jesus, Bradley. Now you're scaring me," you said without taking a seat on his lap. Instead, your hands went to your hips as your wary gaze flitted all over his face.

He sighed. "Your car is totaled."

You simply blinked at him for a long time as if his words were spoken in a language completely foreign to you. Then your face fell as you whispered, "What?"

This time when he patted his thigh and reached out, you came willingly, collapsing into him. He ran his thumb across your name tag where you'd added his last name to yours, and he kissed your cheek. "The mechanic called me. He said it's totaled, Sweetheart."

You instantly burst into tears. "No," you moaned. "No. He has to fix it. He's just saying it's totaled, because the repairs cost more than the car is worth. Right?"

Bradley kissed your cheeks and swiped your tears away, and now he felt like an ass for laughing so hard earlier. "I'm not sure, but we can talk to him after work, okay? We'll stop over there and see what's going on."

He rubbed your back as you sucked in deep breath after deep breath, but you nodded against his neck. "Okay," you agreed softly. 

Bradley held you as your lunches got cold, and when he arrived back at the tower fifteen minutes late, he did his hundred push ups without complaint. As he did them, he came to terms with the fact that he'd pay whatever amount of money it took to repair your piece of shit car if it was even a remote possibility. Because even though he loathed it, you loved it. And he loved you.

--------------------------

You knew deep down that it was ridiculous to be upset over a twenty year old totaled car, but you just simply were. It was the only car you'd ever owned, and you bought it used when you were eighteen. The thing had more miles on it than you could count, and it was starting to leak coolant. But you'd driven it across the country when you moved to California, and it always drove like a dream for you. 

Or it did until Bradley ripped a hole in it with his big, booted foot. That sex was toe curlingly good, too. Right there in San Diego International parking garage C. You wanted to moan just thinking about it, because Bradley had come home to you with so much need in his eyes, it left you shuddering. But now you were currently giving him a bit of a cold shoulder as he drove you to talk to the mechanic. You just needed a few minutes with your thoughts. Your parents would be arriving in a few days, and you'd be down a car if he truly wouldn't be able to repair it.

"We're here," Bradley whispered, shaking you from your thoughts. You hopped out and made a beeline for your car which was parked near the entrance to the building. It looked fine to you from the outside. Perfect, even. But when you looked in the window where the center console had been completely removed, you pawed at the glass and whimpered. 

"What did he do to you?" When you saw Bradley's reflection to your left, you turned to glare. "Did you do it on purpose?" Your husband looked at you with surprise on his face, and you had to try your hardest not to roll your eyes. "Did you, Roo? Because I know you hate this car."

"How would I have possibly done this on purpose, Sweetheart? You were the one outright demanding that I fuck you harder. You told me to several times." Now he looked annoyed with his hands on his hips.

You crossed your arms over your chest. "So what? You want me to tell you that you're a good lay? You're a good lay, Roo, okay? Yes, I wanted you to go harder. Yes, I missed you desperately while you were away, and I couldn't wait a minute longer, just like you. But did you really have to plant your foot right there and practically rip the car in half while you got me off?!"

You were gesturing wildly at your car when you heard a throat clear, and you and Bradley both turned to see the pink faced mechanic who now couldn't make eye contact with you. "Great," you muttered knowing he'd heard you arguing. 

"Well... I was going to ask how you managed to mess the car up this badly," he said, looking through the windshield. "First time I've heard that one..."

But you didn't even care what he thought as you went into bargaining mode as Bradley slipped his hand around your waist. "Can't you just fix it? I don't even care if it's considered totaled. I'll pay for the repairs out of pocket." You were pleading with your hands clasped in front of you. "You can fix it, right?"

Before he even started shaking his head, you could see the light dim in his eyes. It was over as he told you, "Sorry, but I couldn't if I tried. The parts no longer exist for this model year, and it still wouldn't pass inspection."

"It wouldn't?" you asked, your voice tiny and pathetic. 

The mechanic sighed and took some pity on you as Bradley rubbed your back. "If I were to weld it back together, there would be no guarantee that the steel wouldn't buckle while you were driving it. The hole where the console was is just that extensive. It would not be safe. And your gearbox is hanging on by a thread. I'm shocked you were even able to drive it here from Coronado."

You wiped at your eyes as the tears returned. "It was such a good car," you gasped, turning to fling yourself at Bradley. "It was the best."

He let you cry in his arms for the second time today as he quietly asked the mechanic how much you owed him. "Oh... it's on the house. I can appreciate how much she loved and took care of her car. That's a rare quality in a person."

You turned to look at him and nodded, thankful for this like minded individual. "Thank you."

When Bradley started asking him if he could take care of disposing of your most beloved possession, you opened the door and sank down into the driver's seat. You ran your fingers along the steering wheel, and you adjusted the rearview mirror. You jiggled the broken shifter, and you looked down at the ground through the gigantic hole in the middle of your car. 

"Fuck," you groaned. A soft laugh bubbled out through your sadness. Bradley really did this with his foot and his desire to make you both orgasm. You looked at him through the windshield, and he kept turning to check on you while he and the mechanic chatted.

You were still quietly turning the knobs and playing with your turn signals for the last time when Bradley walked around to the door and knelt down to talk to you. "Sweetheart, I really am sorry."

"I know you are," you whispered softly, memorizing the perfect spin of the volume dial between your thumb and index finger.

He reached for your hand as he said, "He can have it towed for scraps later this week. I told him you might like to be here to say goodbye one last time when that happens."

You nodded and started sobbing. "I would like that. Yes."

"Come here," he replied, pulling you out of the car and into a big hug. "Let's grab a reusable bag out of the Bronco and clean everything out of here. Then I'll take you home."

----------------------------

You moped all evening. You moped the next day, too. On Wednesday, Bradley could tell you were still upset. Even the news that Bob was moving in with Maria barely cheered you up. When Cat told you at lunch that Jake helped her find a good lawyer to help her fight her ex husband's debt collectors, you smiled and gave her a hug. But then you got quiet again.

"Nat's begging me to go to the Hard Deck tonight," he told you as you made dinner in absolutely nothing but his old shirt. 

"You can go ahead," you told him without glancing in his direction.

"I'm not going without you," he replied. When you didn't respond, he added, "Baby Girl, I can only apologize so many times." He kissed your neck from behind and let his hand settle on your hip. "I'm really sorry." 

Just the softest little noise from you and the light brush of your body back against his had him getting shamelessly hard. He rubbed one big hand around to the front of you, skimming your breasts and coming to settle low on your belly. You turned off the stove and sighed. "I'm not even horny right now, Roo."

"You're usually always horny," he whispered, feeling slightly selfish and also even more concerned about how upset you were. 

"Well, right now I'm too sad. I'm feeling very emotional over this. I know it's dumb, okay? I know that. But I loved my car."

"I'll make it up to you," he promised. He'd been asking you all week to start looking for something new, but he wasn't sure you actually had. "We can get another used car that would be similar. Or you can get the newest model year of your old car. Or you can get something else."

You spun in his arms and looked him in the eye. "Everything is expensive, and I'll be lucky to even get a couple hundred bucks from the salvage yard. And... a new car would eat away at the money I was hoping to save. Just in case. You know?"

But he didn't know what you were talking about, and he was slightly afraid to ask. "Money for what, Sweetheart?"

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes as you said, "In case there's something wrong with me." Bradley pulled you closer, and you mumbled against his shoulder, "In case we need to pay for treatment. Fertility treatment. Or an adoption lawyer."

Now you were crying again, and Bradley felt a little sense of panic, too. You were right. All of that would be very, very expensive, but he hadn't even considered that this might be weighing on your mind at the moment. You shouldn't be thinking about it alone. "Is this what's been bothering you?" he asked gently. 

"Kind of," you whispered. "I loved my car, and it was running great, and I just didn't think we'd have to buy a new one yet, you know?"

"Listen," he said, trying to remind you that you weren't alone in any of this. "We're a team. An absolutely kickass team. But we aren't even at that point yet. And I've saved a lot of money since we got married." The honeymoon had cost a small fortune, but at least there were almost no costs related to the actual wedding. His savings accounts were looking healthier these days. "We can cross that bridge when we get to it, but we aren't there yet, okay?"

"I know we're not. But the thoughts creep in sometimes."

There had never been a truer statement spoken to Bradley. Acknowledging it would hurt, but ignoring it would be worse. "Yes, they do. But mostly I'm just trying to focus on how much I love you, so if you decide what kind of car you want, we'll make it happen. Now may I suggest we eat dinner and then head out to the Hard Deck just for a bit? Take our minds off of things?"

You agreed to go, but on the way there, you told him, "I think we should cancel the hotel room for my parents. They can just stay with us when they fly in on Friday night."

Bradley tightened his grip on the steering wheel. It's not that he didn't want them to stay at the house, it's just that he wanted to be able to be as fucking loud with you as he wanted to be. If you wanted to be loud. "Sweetheart, the hotel is already booked."

"Yes. It is. It's also expensive. My mom thinks you got the room with points last time!"

There was no sense in arguing with you about this right now either, because you were right. He pulled into the Hard Deck parking lot and killed the engine. "Come here," he coaxed, and you were soon on his lap even though you looked less than happy. "We'll cancel the hotel room. They can stay with us. It's not a big deal at all, and I'd love to have them around anyway. But I do think we should talk about finishing the attic into another bedroom or two, just so there's a little more separation for when they visit."

"But that's also expensive-" 

He cut you off with a kiss so gentle, you gasped. "You need to stop talking about it," he whispered, his fingers trailing up and down the back of your neck. "We can get you any car you want. And if we need money later, I can always sell the Bronco."

You gasped, pulling yourself away from him so rapidly, your elbow hit the horn making him laugh. "I don't want you to do that!"

The way you looked so scandalized was a true testament to how well you loved him. "I don't particularly want to either, Sweetheart, but it's always an option. She's worth a lot of money."

"No," you replied firmly. "I'll look for a new car, but we're not getting rid of this one."

"We won't have to," he whispered, tangling his fingers up with yours as the two of you headed into the bar where his friends cheered when they saw him. And now you had a smile on your face as you went to the bar to order two of your favorite beers.

-------------------------

"You know, Jake is really starting to piss me off," Bradley said on Friday morning as he got ready for work. 

"Why?" you asked as you put your contacts in. "I mean, besides the usual reasons."

You watched him mess with his phone before he set it on the counter and started to shave around his mustache. "Because we have a busy weekend with your parents, and Jake was supposed to set up a tee time for golf tomorrow morning. I just talked to him about this at work yesterday, and now he's not answering my texts asking about the details. I wanted to text your dad the plan since he's been asking."

"Oh," you said, frozen with your mascara in your hand. "Jake got a new phone number. He didn't tell you?"

Bradley pouted at your reflection in the mirror as he shaved. "No. He didn't tell me. I've been texting the same number like an idiot! Who in their right mind changes their phone number?! That's like something elderly people just suddenly do!"

You pressed your lips together to try to stifle your laughter. "Okay, yes, it does give off an elderly person vibe, but Jake did it for Cat since he was getting a lot of unsolicited texts."

"Whatever," Bradley growled, clearly annoyed to be the last one to find out. "Are you still getting Padres tickets for Sunday afternoon for the four of us?"

"Yes, I was planning on it," you replied cautiously. You were pretty sure he was still in a mood over the fact that your parents, who would be landing in San Diego later today, were staying at the house with you until they flew back home late on Tuesday night. But this way you'd be saving over a thousand dollars to use for the new car you hadn't picked out yet. "If you want to."

Bradley rinsed his razor and his face before patting himself dry, and then he leaned in to gently kiss you where you stood in front of your own sink. "I want to. I'm sorry I'm cranky. Jake and his stupid phone number pissed me off, and I'm still upset that I broke your entire damn car." He kissed you harder this time as his hand drifted down to squeeze your butt. "But I'm over it now. I love you. Your ass looks so fucking good in your uniform pants. I'm going to have some coffee."

Luckily his mood continued to improve as he drove you to work with him, and when he took your hand in his, he said, "After work, we will attend your car's funeral. Then we can stop home before we pick your parents up from the airport, during which time I will put the clean bedding on the extra bed."

"Sounds good, Roo," you murmured, your mood all mixed up as you looked out the window. Car shopping was a hassle, because you didn't want a new car. And you were excited that your parents would be here for Independence Day, but you also thought you were starting to get crampy. "Thank you," you added, reaching for your husband's hand, trying to remind yourself to focus on the things in your life that were important. 

Work was quiet. It seemed like a lot of people had taken off for the holiday weekend, but you and Bradley had opted to take Monday off instead. You were enjoying the nearly silent solitude of your lab as you double checked Cat's calculations before submitting them when you heard Bickel behind you. When he cleared his throat, you nearly jumped out of your seat. 

"Lieutenant Commander, meet me in my office when you have time."

"I have time right now, Sir," you told him, saving your work and closing your computer. He was silent as you followed him down the hallway and a sense of foreboding took over, because Bickel was always chatty with you. Mentally you raked through everything you'd submitted this week, but nothing was jumping out to you as a potential problem. "Is everything okay?" you asked as you closed his office door behind you. 

"Of course," he said, pausing briefly before he settled into his desk chair. "I just wanted to see how you've been getting on?"

You sat down opposite his desk and blinked at him a few times in confusion. "Sir?"

He cleared his throat. "It's been a bit since I checked in with you. Just wanted to make sure things are going well, and to remind you that you can always visit me or Dr. Genevieve again if you feel so inclined."

"Oh," you replied, heat flooding your face even though you knew you had nothing to be embarrassed about. You swallowed and told him, "I actually met with Dr. Genevieve a few times, so thank you for pointing me in her direction."

"Good, good," he replied, tapping a folder on his desk. "Now, we've been offered additional funding for our lab. So how do you feel about preparing another presentation that will knock everyone's socks off in Annapolis?"

---------------------------

Bradley spent his afternoon in the rec room with the other aviators, but he sat off to the side with a sheet of paper and a pen. Other than Bob politely interrupting him to ask if Bradley would be willing to help him move his things into your old apartment with Maria, everyone left him to finish what he was working on. He was doing it for you, same as everything else he did.

When it was time to leave for the day, he tucked the paper into his uniform pants pocket and went to meet you at the Bronco. A few minutes later, you came running out with your bag and a smile on your face. "What happened?" he asked, automatically smiling too. 

You practically jumped into his arms as you gushed, "Bickel all but told me he's handpicked me to take over his lab when he retires! Oh, and I have to go back to Annapolis."

His heart leapt with joy for you as he kissed your forehead, then he considered your second sentence. "Wait. Annapolis? Like... permanently?"

"No," you told him with a laugh. "Just a few days at the end of the month or early August."

"Right," he said with relief. "I'm really fucking proud of you, Baby Girl. And when you go to Maryland, you can visit your parents again."

"Maybe I'll even get another tattoo," you told him as you tossed your back onto the backseat.

"Seriously?" he asked, walking you around to the passenger side door and buckling you in. "What would you get?"

You ran your hand along your arm before pulling him closer. "Probably a whole sleeve of little roosters," you told him between kisses. 

He rolled his eyes knowing that was a longshot and a half. "Let's get to your car's funeral," he whispered, and you nodded like you'd finally come to terms with everything that happened. 

The ride over was quiet, and when Bradley pulled into the lot, the crew from the salvage lot was already there, ready to take it away. 

"Oh no," you gasped, practically jumping out before he put it in park. "They can't take it until I say goodbye!"

Bradley hopped out and followed you across the pavement to where the two men were about to load the little, red piece of shit onto the flatbed along with two other completely wrecked cars. The mechanic was already there holding up a hand to have them pause when you reached your car. Bradley watched you run your hand down the windshield and along the hood in reverence. And he finally kind of got it; this is how he'd feel if something suddenly happened to the Bronco. When he looked at things from that perspective, your tears were absolutely warranted.

"Can I have everyone's attention?" Bradley asked, clearing his throat as you and the mechanic and both guys in matching jumpsuits from the salvage company turned to look at him. "I just wanted to say a few words." He pulled the sheet of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it. 

"Roo?" you asked, coming to stand a little closer to him. He kissed your cheek before he started to read.

"Most everyone has to say goodbye to a loved one in their lifetime. Some goodbyes are harder than others, but none of them are easy. I know this little red shit pile doesn't look like much, but my wife loved it so hard and for so long, it deserves a proper send off."

Bradley looked up from his paper to see that you had tears in your eyes, but you weren't the only one. The mechanic was also swiping at his cheeks, and the other two men had removed their hats and placed them over their hearts.

"Perhaps the most annoying and yet respectable thing about this car is the fact that it always preferred my wife over anyone else. Especially me. It was a most faithful companion, always getting her where she needed to go with almost zero trunk space yet amazing fuel economy. It got her to work every day like an economical champ, never putting up any sort of fuss for her, and for that we are thankful."

"Oh, Roo," you gasped, smiling through your tears, but he wasn't yet finished.

"It is with my deepest sympathy that we sent this automotive marvel off to the salvage yard today. Has any other car that looked this ugly and had this many miles ever been such a perfect companion? I'd like to think that the answer is no. I'd like to believe that my wife in all her damn near perfection got to own the kind of car that people only dream about... the one that gave back as much love as it was given." Bradley laid a hand on the trunk as he read, "Thank you, hideous little car, for being there for one of the best moments of my life. Thank you for looking on with locked doors as she kissed me in the Bronco for the first time. Thank you for allowing Nat to intentionally steal your keys away from her so that she would one day marry me. You had a very good life, and you will be missed. And I'm sorry for pushing so hard that I put my boot through you... but what a way to go out. Cheers."

"Cheers," you sobbed in unison with the three men who were also gathered closeby. Then you threw your arms around Bradley's neck and cried.

"That was so beautiful. Thank you."

"I love you, Sweetheart," he promised, rubbing your back as the two of you watched your car take its final bow.

--------------------------

Rest in peace shitty, little car. You were a real one. Any guesses on her new ride? Coming up next, a visit from her parents, a new car, and sooo much more to be excited about. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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[yukipri]

Marco’s Bauble Part 2 - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story

Ended up writing a continuation of the first Marco’s bauble post, thank you so much to everyone who commented and inspired me to write more ^ ^

This was posted on my Patreon earlier this week!

Follow up to On Thatch, Marco, & the Whitebeards - Marco’s Bauble #1 , please read this one first ^ ^

Contains Koala x Luffy, Thatch x Luffy, and Marco x Luffy with bg Ace & Sabo, wow is that a combination of ships I never expected to see, but whelp here we are....

~~

~~

It's during one of Koala's Fishman Karate sessions when That Thing falls out of Luffy's pocket.

At first, Koala thinks she must have imagined it, because why would Luffy have one of those.

But then Luffy drops the stance she's been struggling to hold, concentration shattered, and pounces on the little thing that's trying to roll away from her on the deck.

"Ah, my Mystery Rock!" the mermaid cries, reaffirming that no, Koala didn't imagine it.

Koala stares with dawning horror as Luffy scoops the thing up, rolling the shiny blue bauble between her palms to make sure it hasn't been damaged. She's moving to stick it back into her inner vest pocket when Koala stops her.

"Luffy...where did you get that?"

"Oh this?" Luffy's eyes light up, and she shoves the thing right up and personal in Koala's face.

Koala can see it clearly, the aquamarine glass with shards of multi-faceted crystal and gold flakes embedded in it, with a small, dark core made up of none other than seastone. It's unmistakable.

"Thatch gave it to me!" Luffy continues, and Koala's already moving, spinning on her heel towards the kitchen because she is going to throttle that damn cook--before Luffy adds, "It's not from him though! It's from his friend! The pineapple-bird man!"

Koala freezes, her fury towards Thatch dwindling, but she still feels her heart pounding louder than it should be. She has no idea what a pineapple-bird man is, but the point still stands: a man had given Luffy her "Mystery Rock."

"Luffy," she says, trying to keep her voice light, hoping it isn't cracking with the hysteria she feels inside. "Do you know what that is?"

"It has a sea rock inside!" Luffy says, proud that she's remembered what Ace told her. It's seastone, but close enough, Koala thinks. "It's got glass and stuff on the outside, so I can touch it without getting tired! But it still feels like the sea! It's my magical Mystery Rock!"

Koala nods and smiles, even though she feels her lips strain. "Anything else?"

Luffy blinks. She couldn't be more obvious about pulling a blank, for which Koala is immensely grateful.

Okay, okay. So. Luffy knows what the object is, but probably doesn't know what it means. Which means Koala can relax. For now.

She forces herself to take a deep breath. She shouldn't jump to any conclusions.

"It's a very nice Mystery Rock," Koala smiles sincerely, and it really really is.

Nicer than Luffy's likely aware of.

"How about we take a break for today. Do you want to go show Ace the basic water pulse you can do now?" Koala suggests, and Luffy beams with her whole face and Koala's blinded. It lasts only an instant before Luffy's stretching her arms to grab a rail, slingshotting herself away in the blink of an eye, leaving Koala feeling like a cloud just passed over the sun.

Koala heaves a huge sigh. She's never been more grateful for the lack of Sabo's presence during Fishman Karate sessions, because if Sabo had seen Luffy's "Mystery Rock," and if he had asked Koala to explain its significance...well.

Things would not be pretty.

And despite how objectively beautiful the bauble is, things are already very Not Pretty inside Koala now. She has some words for Thatch's friend.

~~

Thatch's surprised when Koala of all people enters the kitchen (Lil Lesbian No. 2, he'd secretly nicknamed her). He'd just kicked Sanji out with the trays of desserts and beverages they'd made, telling the younger man to go enjoy the sun while Thatch finishes cleaning up and starts prepping for dinner.

Thatch honestly wishes he could be the one to present the sweets to Luffy, but he's also mature enough to let this opportunity go to Sanji. The boy'd practically been twitching with excitement while adding the last loving touches to the parfaits.

It's fine, Thatch is an adult. And by staying in the kitchen, Thatch also gets to prepare and therefore present the enormous steak that'll be part of dinner (and which is Luffy honestly going to be more excited for, a parfait or sea king steak?).

Either way, Thatch's just about finished, and checks his dials one last time before turning to give his visitor his undivided attention.

"So, did the parfaits interrupt your time monopolizing my future fiancee, or...?"

Lil Lesbian No. 2 smiles sweetly, or rather bares her teeth, and doesn't return Thatch's greeting. Rude.

"Thatch, who gave Luffy the seastone trinket?" she demands without prelude. And huh, so that's what they're going to talk about. Thatch blinks. No, he hasn't forgotten about it, and yes, he's still bitter, but he's also a bit alarmed by Koala's intensity. It's just a nice gift...right?

"One of my crew mates," he says cautiously, not seeing any reason to lie. "My friend. Marco."

"Marco the Phoenix, First Division Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates," Koala mumbles, and Thatch can see her pulling up all the mental files she has on him. Thatch has learned that the young revolutionary has a terrifying mental database of pretty much anyone who's made a name for themselves in any way, and reminds himself to never take his teasing too far, because he does not want to make an enemy of her.

Her blackmail-compiling finished, Koala smiles thinly. "So Thatch, do you know what that bauble is?"

Thatch feels like he's being tested, and whatever he says is going to be wrong. "It's a fancy thing you can buy at Fishman island? Costs a small fortune? The mer ladies always seem super happy get them as gifts? I'm not sure what you're asking here," he shrugs helplessly under her glare. He really doesn't know anything else. Fishman island may be Pops' territory, but he's certainly no expert on their culture beyond studying their cuisine.

"And your friend, does he think the same?"

"I don't know what that bird-brain thinks! If you're going to kill him, go after him, not me," Thatch groans. "Are you going to actually tell me what's wrong, or...?"

Koala seems to debate about something, and Thatch hears Sabo muttered under her breath. She then starts to chuckle, and it's a dark, unpleasant sound. Thatch is more than a little concerned.

"Oh the mer ladies like receiving them alright," she mutters.

She takes a deep breath, like she's hyping herself up for something, and now Thatch is tense too.

"Does your friend know," she says, voice so painfully sweet it's gone bitter, "that he's given Luffy the human equivalent of an engagement ring?"

Thatch stops breathing.

A beat, then,

"THAT BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!"

Ace pops his head into the kitchen. "Anything wrong?"

"NOTHING!" Koala and Thatch scream in unison, and Ace jolts backwards in alarm.

"Alright...then. I'll...be back later?" Ace blinks like a puppy confused as to why he'd just been kicked, but he still shuffles back outside, politely closing the door behind him.

Thatch feels pretty awful about making his little brother slink out of his own ship's kitchen, but holy shit does he not want Ace to hear this right now.

Luffy with an engagement ring.

Ace'd explode, then Merry would burn, and then everyone would drown and that's a very sad ending to their short-lived adventure.

"The fuck," he hisses to Koala, just in case Ace is still lurking outside.

"That's what I want to say to your First Division Commander!" she spits back, and alright, fine, maybe she has every right to be upset. "Who does he think he is, giving Luffy something like that? I haven't even asked her out yet!"

Thatch isn't sure that last part is entirely necessary, and mumbles, "My future fiancee," but Koala steamrolls right over him.

"Did he do it intentionally, or is he just an ignorant human like you?"

Thatch wisely keeps his You're human too comment to himself. "Again, I'm not him, I don't know!"

Thatch thinks Marco doesn't know the weight of the gift he's sent. At least, he hopes so. No one on the Moby Dick believes Thatch because they think Marco's always a stuffy mother hen, but Thatch knows Marco can play some pretty nasty pranks when he wants to. But Marco wouldn't pull something like this, it doesn't feel in character for him. He can be a pain in Thatch's ass, but he wouldn't drag in Ace's little brother who he hasn't even met yet. But then again, it also feels weird for Marco to not have looked up the significance of something he spent his own money on. It's all very strange and confusing.

Even so, Thatch is with Koala this time, and is totally okay throwing his older brother under the ship so to speak, because the bastard hasn't even met Luffy, and there's no way he'll support this "engagement," or whatever the hell this is.

"You know," Koala says, far too pleasantly for the mood. "Sabo's going to kill him when he finds out."

Thatch shrugs, he has no intention of helping his friend. "Eh, Marco can handle it, he's strong."

"No, you don't understand," Koala insists, and oh there's that sadism back in her expression. "Ever heard of the Fort Gray incident? That was all Sabo. And Sabo's going to murder your friend."

Thatch has heard of that, few on the Grand Line haven't. And...oh. Maybe Chief of Staff is actually a pretty terrifying title after all. "Marco's fine, he's strong?" he repeats, a little less confident.

Koala snorts, and spitefully grabs a handful of the caramelized pecans on the countertop and shovels them in her face as Thatch squawks protest. He was going to use those!

"I can't wait till Ace hears, because then there'll be two of them," she cronches as Thatch sadly rummages in the cabinets for more pecans. "So now the question is, do we warn your friend or not?"

Thatch isn't feeling particularly charitable, but he also feels betrayed and wants to know what Marco was thinking. The next time one of those damn birds comes, he thinks. He has some questions to ask the Phoenix.

~~

~~

The incident refers to the mission in Sabo's flashback in the anime expanded content at the end of Dressrosa. I dun think it actually had a name/location (could be wrong), so made it up and yes my naming sense is creative I know LMAO.

The beginning might feel choppy bc there was a big Koala x Lu part at the beginning that I chopped off bc it felt too irrelevant to the topic. Might clean that up for a separate post tho ^ ^;

As always, comments/reblogs/tags always immensely appreciated! <3

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

Read the next part: Marco’s Bauble, Part 3

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode Thirteen: Crop Circle Jerk

View on Google Docs Summary: November 1, 2015 - An emergency at Libbydale Farms has Deputy Troy and King Falls AM on high alert. Mysterious lights? Check. Crop Circles? Check. Intergalactic Gang War? Stay tuned to 660 on the AM Dial to find out.

[podcast intro music]

[S&B show intro]

Ben Good evening! You’re listening to King Falls AM – that’s 660 on the radio dial.

Sammy Folks, we are jumping right into it tonight. We got Deputy Troy on the line, live from Libbydale Farms. Hey, Troy, can you hear us alright?

Troy Loud and clear, Sammy. Heard you real fine, too, Ben.

Ben [muttered] Suck an egg.

Sammy Okay. So, Troy. Tell the listeners what you just told us right before we went on air.

Troy Ladies and gents, in all my years— and I mean all of ‘em— I ain’t never seen anything like this! Not even comparatively close to what I’m lookin’ at right this instant. [faint sounds of police radio in bg]

Ben POINT. GET TO IT.

Troy Gosh darnit, Ben. I’m trying to sell the magnitude of what I’m feastin’ my eyes on!

Ben Who even knew you could see Libbydale Farms from so far out in the Kiss Ass Sea aboard the SS Backstabber.

Troy You know G-D well I’m not on a ship nor would it be called the SS Backstabber if I were. Don’t be so damn sore, Ben! Everybody knows I’m sorry! Plus- [kinda shyly] I reckon my ship be called the- USS Super Badass.

Sammy *pointedly clears throat* Troy. Ben. Let’s put our differences aside and let’s get to the matter at hand. So, Troy, you’re live at—?

Ben & Troy Libbydale Farms…

Troy & Ben I’m trying to talk!

Sammy GUYS!

Troy A-a-as I was sayin. I’m out here at the farm and out past the barns just hours ago, Old Man Libbydale called us in, and acres upon acres, boys, have been De.Stroyed out here.

Ben [accusingly] Where were yoouu, earlier this evening, Troy?

Troy Using my keen detective skills and ninja-like mental agility, I can see you’re trying to place me at the scene of the crime, little buddy. However Ol’ Troy was sawin’ logs next to the Mrs. before. my. shift.

Ben While crimes are being committed? *scoffs* Typical.

Troy Now that’s a low blow just be—

[shouting over each other] Ben NO! NO! Troy —low my pistol belt— Ben YOUU— N— TROOYY!— Troy — Ben come on— Ben — T— OHH Troy — this ain’t about the farm— Ben [mocking] OHH YEAHHH- OHHH YOU’RE SOOO— Troy — and you know— Ben —GOOD AT FIGHTING—

Sammy GUYS! GUYS! [“break it up kids”/dad-voice] I understand there’s renewed intensity between you two, but Ben, as co-host of this show and a respected journalist— put it away. Troy, you’re the first friend of the Sammy & Ben Show and a deputy sheriff. You guys don’t have to be best buddies, but let’s please report- on the news story- at hand.

Troy Couldn’t have said it better myself, Sammy.

Ben [hissed] Jesus.

Sammy So, Troy. Old Man Libbydale called you out— Acres of his lands destroyed. How so?

Troy Y’all ain’t gonna believe it, but you know I always shoot you straight… Two words: Crop. Circles.

Sammy [incredulous] Crop circles?

Troy It’s like a live action Led Zeppelin album cover as far as the eye can see! Big ones, little ones. The craziest damn designs you ever could imagine.

Ben Troy, I assume you and the rest of Gunderson’s thugs— I-mean-”deputies”— inspected the circles, and the surrounding areas, for man-made tools? There have been stories that men with boards tied to ropes can replicate what people believe crop circles to look like. Bending the crops at the right angles, etcetera… did you find—

Troy Didn’t find anything, Ben. Not a board… not a footprint… nothin’ but hunched over crops.

Ben So you think—?

Troy Oh, there isn’t a doubt in my mind it’s from the UFOs or those lights. I mean, whichever you wanna call it. No man made these! And in just a few hours to boot!

Sammy Okay. So, has this ever happened here before, Ben?

Ben No! Nor abductions! Not even lights being so close to town. The past few months- have been a hotbed for extraterrestrial activity— it would seem.

Sammy “It would seem”? So you aren’t certain?

Ben *scoff/laugh* I only said “it would seem” so you wouldn’t get all defensive about it.

Sammy Okay, alright. Well, as much as I hate to say it, I definitely feel there’s a lot more than meets the eye here in Kings Falls.

Ben I’m not one to say “I told you so”… But I DID tell you so!

Troy Just so everybody out there knows: Libbydale Farms is private property. So, unless you’re doing the dairy farm tour in mornin’, this is not an attraction for looky-loos. There is an official investigation still ongoin’ here. Plus, don’t nobody need another person gettin’ snatched up by the Martians either.

Ben *smug snort* Martians are from Mars, Troy. They aren’t representative of all extraterrestrials?.

Troy [defensive] Whatever— Ben Nye the Science Guy. I’m headin’ out to the field again. I might not be smart as Ben about the aliens and such, but I can definitely sniff out a spot where the Williams boys will come lookin’ for Mischief and Mayhem. [click]

[dial tone]

Sammy Deputy Troy, folks. Now, I didn’t realize you and Troy were still so angry at one another, Ben. You can’t let that hostility clou—

Ben THANKS, DAD! — We’re just gonna take a break to hear from one of our fine sponsors. Maybe Sammy here can talk to me about the birds and the bees after we get back.

Sammy [quietly] Maybe…

[disquieting, melancholic piano music]

Soft, disquieting voice What if what you thought wasn’t really what you thought you thought? … Ever think of that? … Here at the Institute of Science, we can help you become what you’ve always wanted to become… A better you, for a better mankind! Call us today for a free brochure and a C-meter reading. That’s “C” as in “cat.” … We’re coming King Falls… Be well! … And be ready.

[piano fades out]

[S&B theme]

Sammy You’re listening to King Falls AM and we are opening up the phone lines to you. 424-279-3858.

Ben We’ll be talking about the apparent crop circle- situation at Libbydale Farms. As well as if any of you out there have had any experience with this phenomenon.

Sammy So give us a call or tweet us @kingfallsam. So, you’ve heard our story, now let’s hear yours.

Ben Line 3.

Sammy Good evening, you’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Cynthia Good evening? For who? Certainly not King Falls!

Sammy Hi, Cynthia. How ‘bout you tell us how you really feel tonight.

Cynthia Weellll, to be honessst, I’m a little rattled over these gang signs the aliens are leaving on our turf. Literally.

Ben Cynthia— there is no way to tell if those circles are- angry orrr happy! even. They’re *huff/laugh* just symbols.

Cynthia So’s a swastika, Ben Arnold. Get your head out of your tuchus!

Sammy Okay, obviously, we aren’t trying to raise alarms here, Cynthia. It’s just, uh— it’s an interesting story. Especially here in our backyard. Would you not agree? Uh, you know, it’s not every day you can see this kind of handiwork – man-made or otherwise.

Cynthia You two sound sooo happy. We’re getting tagged in an intergalactic war and all of us in the Falls are sitting around at ground zero.

Ben I- don’t think that’s fair t—

Cynthia That’s the problem! You just. don’t. think! It’s all Tim Jenson’s fault, I just know it. We didn’t have any flying saucer, land-tattooing bedlam before he chased those lights.

Ben He didn’t “chase” anything! He was driving from work and called to report on a breaking news story.

Cynthia Watch your tone, Ben. I’ll buy one of those rabid, disease-ridden sugar flyers and toss it in Lake Hatchenhaw. just to spite you!

Sammy Goodnight, Cynthia.

Ben Sugar glider. And- they are. illegal.

Cynthia So are illegal aliens, but you’re just getting ready to throw ‘em a parade! I can’t! I just can’t! [click]

[dial tone]

Sammy Heh, alright, uh… Line 12, you’re live on King Falls AM.

Emily Hi, Sammy! Hi, Ben!

Ben Emily! I–I didn’t realize you were back in town!

Emily I just got back. I was listening on the way in! My mom and I actually drove by the farm and saw all the commotion over there. Police; reporters— big lawn-mower thingies…

Ben Lawn mowers?

Sammy Uh, y’ know, if you don’t mind me asking, Emily, why were you out of town?

Emily Oh, I flew out to Buford, Wyoming,[1] for the annual small town librarian expo! And I had my mom pick me up from the airport since— Ben was on the air.

Sammy Wow. So you guys are in the taking and picking up from the airport stage of yourrr—

Ben Friendship. Is that the- word- you’re- searching for, Sammy?

Sammy [kinda smug] Thaaat was exactly the one, Ben.

Emily *soft laugh* You guys are so silly. But I just wanted to say “hi” and tell Ben I’m back home now!— Oh! And starting next week, I’ve got a whole bunch of fun activities I learned from the expo to start doing at the library! Hopefully we can get some of the scared kids back now.

Ben I’ll call you later, Emily.

Emily Goodnight, Ben! Night, Sammy!

[click, dial tone]

Sammy Emily Potter, ladies and gents. King Falls Librarian and Ben’s… Friend.

Ben [shyly] Yeah-yeah… Lucky Line 1, you’re on King Falls AM.

Greg Hey, guys! It’s Greg Frickard!

Sammy Hi, Greg! You know, we appreciate you running the ads on the show, sir. It’s so nice to meet youuu… uh, over the phone, of course.

Greg Thanks, Sammy! I— think— we’ve- talked before, and uh, glad to run the spot! Me and Granny Frickard love the show! You should hop on down to the Froggery and we’ll hook ya up!

Sammy I might have to take you up on that offer, Greg!

Greg We’d love to have you! You too, Ben…

Ben Greg, you’re a lifelong King Falls resident… w-we’ve been talking about the crop circles out at –

Greg Oh I know. I’ve been listening, but— I was actually calling about- sssomething else— if that’s okay.

Sammy Uh, yyyeah. Sure thing, Greg. What’s on your mind?

Greg Well, I heard Ben and Miss Potter a second ago and they made a— declaration of friendship? Is that correct?

Sammy Oh! U-uh. Is- this about Emily?

Ben [suspicious] Did you- call before, when Emily was in the studio, Greg?

Greg Uh, noo… *nervous laugh* that must have beeeen… somebody else. But is that true, Ben? Are you and Miss Potter just friends?

Ben [terse] Good friends. *tsk* Close. Friends… Real close.

Greg Huhhh! … Well th- okay! That’s all I needed to know! Thanks a million, buddy.

Sammy Hey— Greg. You didn’t have a comment orr—

Greg Oh, no, no! I j— *chuckles* I don’t know the first thing about crop circles and— what-have-you. Uhh, it’s real interesting and all! but- Miss Potter’s lovely voice just… [sighing dreamily] speaks to me. I always just assumed that Ben and Emily were… “bf” and “gf” respectively, *laughs* but… if that’s not the case, thennn…

Sammy Ben? You okay?

Ben I don’t like putting our— personal lives out there in the public eye…

Greg Well, gee, Ben, I’m— only asking because ifff you’re into friendship with the lovely Miss Potter, and— I’m afraid, uhhh, I might just have to be into courtship. *chuckle* Granny wants to see me married before going into the great By-and-By—

Ben Bye-bye to you too! Greg. Looks like we lost line—

Greg I’m still here, pals! Now about that thing—

Ben [click, dial tone] Line 7, you’re on King Falls AM?

Sammy Did you just hang up onnn—

Ben I would never. LINE 7.

Herschel I’d like to place a complaint, rrright this instant.

Sammy Herschel?

Ben Is everything okay, Mr. Baumgartner?

Herschel Would I call into you nincompoops if everything was hunky-dory?

Ben I guess not… No.

Sammy So, what seems to be the issue, Herschel?

Herschel All this yackin’ about G-D UFOs and crop circles, for starters. Makes my damn d[bleep]k itch.

Sammy Sir! This is—

Herschel Did you call me to tell me what to think, comrade? Or did I call you to talk about an issue?

Sammy Please continue, Mr. Baumgartner…

Herschel Thank you. So, I’m out on the lake tonight— got up brright and early, so I could make sure I got my special spot.

Ben “Got up early”? It’s— just now a little past 2…

Herschel You the sleep police?! Ya little bastard… I thought not.

Ben Sorry, Herschel.

Herschel So I’m trollin, out on the… well. That parts Top Secret, boys. But I’m trollin, so I don’t scare the bigguns away, and those g[bleep]ddamn sons of b[bleep]chin’ rainbow lights start blowin’ through the sky. Looked like Joseph’s Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat[2] was fightin’ that big Jap lizard!

Sammy Godzilla? Please don’t use derogatory wor—

Herschel McCarthy[3] would’a skinned your ass alive, you Red[4] sack ‘a sh[bleep]t! Can I tell my story?!

Sammy Of course, I’m just asking you not to—

Ben [quickly] I’m on the button. Sammy. Heh. Herschel’s gonna Herschel!

Sammy Okay. So, you saw the lights tonight…

Herschel Saw ‘em? Hell. They scared the literal piss out of me. Got a trickle down my Carhartts[5] look like the state of Florida. I’m out here naked as a jaybird! Not a fish in sight.

Ben I’m sorry, did you just reference a musical, Mr. Baumgartner?

Herschel Oh, just ‘cause I like some colorful metaphors, means I can’t be refined, Ben?!

Ben I wasn’t— I didn’t– im-imply— I’m-I’m just saying—

Herschel [softly, for Herschel] Ol’ Mrs. Baumgartner, (god rest your sexy soul, Edna), used to love those hippy-dippy singing plays. And I’d do anything to keep in those pants, fellas.

Sammy Oh, god.

Ben Awww. [pleading] Can we get back to the lights?

Herschel That Edna. Oh, lemme tell ya… Oh! Uh, yeah– the damn lights! Yeah, so, I saw ‘em. What the hell else am I supposed to tell ya about it?!

Sammy Well, you were calling to complain about them, I’m sure.

Herschel That’s right! I’d like to report that no-good drunkard! Cecil Sheffield! Called that cumbersome ass-wart damn near 15 times to come bring me a pair of skivvies to no avail! Avoiding my calls and his duties as the co-winner of this damn boat!

Ben It’s— so late, Mr. Baumgartner. I’m-I’m sure he’s sleeping now.

Herschel You would take up with him!

Sammy W-well, Ben’s just sayin’ that he isn’t avoiding you so much as he’s, you know— probably asleep.

Herschel Sleeping one off! Soggy son of a b[bleep]h. He knows if I ring the special line, it’s a damn emergency.

Ben So, you guys have made up?

Herschel Made up my ass! If he’s gonna be “co”-anything with Herschel F. Baumgartner, that tally-whacker’s gonna have to keep up his end of the bargain.

Sammy To be at your beck and call in case you… soil yourself…

Herschel Don’t be crass!

Ben So, you guys are actually sharing the boat? That’s awesome! I figured you only—

Herschel I ain’t sharin a damn thing with that son of a b[bleep]h! Stop stirrin’ the pot or I’ll make what Charlie did to John McCain look like foreplay, Ben Arnold!

Sammy So, to the point. You’re calling to complain about Cecil because he’s sleeping through your time of need?

Ben But! He is corroborating seeing the lights, Sammy! That’s a big deal.

Herschel Just have an intern or something bring me some britches and stop fiddle fu[bleep]ing fuss! 32 long! I’ll be at Begley’s. He’s probably peering out his window lookin for a damn show… I don’t like beige! [click]

[dial tone]

Sammy You’re on King Falls AM with Sammy and Ben.

Riley Please hold the line for Mayor Grisham.

Sammy This again?

Ben *groans*

Sammy You know, I wonder, do you wake him when we say special keywords, or…?

Riley Mayor? You’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Grisham Sammy. Ben. I hate to rain on your little topic of discussion tonight, but let’s shut it down. It’d be much appreciated.

Ben What??

Sammy The always-fair, Mayor Grisham, folks. Remember this come election time next year.

Grisham Do you think that a public servant should have to call the local “Tom & Joe Chucklehut Show” to ask them not to jeopardize a police investigation?

Sammy Do you ever call Channel 13 and tell them what to report and how? We are a topical late night talk show, Grisham.

Grisham Mayor.

Sammy I didn’t vote for you.

Grisham Fair enough. I don’t expect you to respect anything but your own pathetic grab for ratings. Now, regarding Channel 13—

Ben Sorry, Mayor. Obviously, Sammy is flustered. He wouldn’t have used such a bad example if he was thinking straight—

Grisham The answer to your question, Sammy, is no. I wouldn’t call in and tell a reputable news agency how to do their job. BUT, amazingly enough, I continue to have to ask you to stop your rhetoric— seemingly once a month or so. Interesting, don’t you think?

Ben You do realize the only people that watch Channel 13 are drunks that can’t find the remote and animals left alone with the TV on, right?

Grisham Whatever helps you sleep better, Ben. I can tell you for a fact that, right now, Storm Sanders is probably not working a “local yokel” interview and digging up the muck. He’s reporting on city ordinance 29.44371.

Ben Storm is knee deep in a barrel of backyard bathtub hooch during commercial breaks.

Sammy So, Mayor. What is this ordinance? Ya know, since we aren’t reporting the news to your liking, give us a glimpse into what works for you.

Grisham The add-on to the local YMCA? The new menu over at Rose’s! I’m not paid a handsome salary to do your job.

Sammy Oh, right! I forget you think you can dictate what we report on, for free.

Ben Sammy… they’re destroying the crop circles! That’s the ordinance!

Grisham There’s hope for you yet, Ben. Don’t go down with this ship. I’ll put a good word in for you elsewhere.

Sammy You son of a b[bleep]h! You’re destroying the crop circles?! That could be the only thing that brings Tim Jenson home!

Grisham Don’t bring Tim Jenson into this! The city is paying Libbydale Farms a fair share for their remaining crops! But it is in the public’s best interest to mow down this batch of mischief accordingly! Especially after this broadcast.

Sammy *derisive scoff/laugh* You are despicable.

Grisham These affairs aren’t your business to ramble on about… Do the weather! Talk about traffic! I mean, I filled those potholes! Stop making trouble!

Sammy Freedom of the Press. When your assistant isn’t typing out our every word, maybe have her look it up and tell you all about it.

Grisham I can’t wait to hear about it! And here’s a little phrase for you to look up too! OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE.

Sammy Uh-huh.

Grisham Do you think using your connections to officers of the law to report on “breaking news” is fine and dandy, Stevens?? *sniffs* You are perverting the course of this case. Things— especially ongoing issues— aren’t meant to be talked about until all the facts are out there! And you— *sniffs* IDIOTS are playing on the scene, reporting with your bagel-eating buddy! who happens to be a cop.

Ben *scoffs* ‘s not my buddy.

Sammy BEN.

Ben I’m not throwing you under the bus, Sammy. I just hate Troy.

Grisham So, the moral of the story would be, gents… some things require couth. Some things require kid gloves when handling. And most things don’t need to be aired in the public for ratings and entertainment. A perfect example being how, I’m sure Sheriff Gunderson will handle Deputy Krieghauser on his own, for calling into this joke of a show with police business constantly. Doubt you’ll see that done during a press conference.

Ben Uh… is that… really necessary, sir?

Grisham This show is a breeding ground for incompetence, and you’re now dragging your pals down with you. Straighten Up and Fly Right.

Sammy Troy doesn’t need to be punished for you to make your point, Grisham.

Grisham Out Of My Hands… I’ve already had Riley send my opinions on it over to the good sheriff! Now again, I ask you: pick a different topic of discussion. Maybe one that won’t lead to the continued pain and misery for all those around you. Night night, fellas! [click]

[dial tone]

Sammy [quickly] I’m gonna call Troy.

Ben Umm, uh *nervous stuttering* W-we’ll be back after this— King Falls. We’ll- we’ll take some- calls about uhh… *helpless scoff* I guess we’ll- see…

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] Buford, Wyoming - “America’s Smallest Town”, Buford is mostly just a convenience store/gas station. The population was 1-2 from ~1995 until it was completely abandoned in 2017.

[2] Joseph’s Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is a musical comedy with lyrics by Tim Rice and music by Andrew Lloyd Webber. The story is based on the "coat of many colors" story of Joseph from the Bible's Book of Genesis.

[3] McCarthy - Joseph Raymond McCarthy was a Republican U.S. Senator from 1947 until his death in 1957. Beginning in 1950, McCarthy became the most visible public face of the “Red Scare”, a period in the United States in which Cold War tensions fueled fears of widespread Communist subversion. He is known for alleging that numerous Communists and Soviet spies and sympathizers had infiltrated the United States federal government, universities, film industry, and elsewhere.

[4] Red - Communist

[5] Carhartts - Carhartt, Inc., is a U.S.-based apparel company founded in 1889. Carhartt is known for its work clothes, such as jackets, coats, overalls, coveralls, vests, shirts, jeans, dungarees, fire-resistant clothing and hunting clothing.

[xz017]

.

oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me????????????????????? 

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like 

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye 

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule 

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack 

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready 

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip 

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble. 

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8

[beaniegara]

11 Questions

tagged both by @yaboybergara​ and @ricky-goldsworth​ which is great because that gives me 22 questions mwahhahaha thank you folks!! <3 

RULES

1. always post the rules

2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

3. write 11 questions of your own

4. tag 11 people you want to get to know better (or however many you want)

now, see, I don’t know what to ask........ so I’m gonna be a little shit and tag folks to pick 11 of these 22 questions and answer them too. nini and gray pls don’t sue me for reusing your questions, thank fdgkfndgfdsk I’m tagging @kaylotta, @queerunsolved, @haunted-gays, @thatmademadej, and @i-am-ghost-proof-baby <3 if yall wanna do it, of course. no pressure.

this is incredibly long (and uncomfortably honest). let’s go lesbians let’s go

first, nini’s questions:

1. How many pets have you had in your life?

one. I’ve always wanted them but my mom and I have always lived in tiny apartments and had no way to care for a pet so it wasn’t until I was 17 that we adopted a kitten!! his name was merlin and he was the laziest, moodiest lil ball of fluff I’ve ever met. I.. had to give him away a year later because we moved to a place even smaller that wouldn’t allow pets so long story short I’m scarred for life and don’t think I can ever take any more pets without feeling guilty to my bone 

this is merlin btw I love him with all my heart and he now lives in a farm. as far as I know anyway.. :(

2. Do you believe in destiny? Why?

mmm interesting question. weird, metaphysical theories aside, I don’t believe anything is set in stone per se, but I do believe that some things are just... meant to be? in a way? for example, you can’t tell me ryan and shane weren’t meant to be friends and find each other in such an unlikely place as they did. one of my mottos, completely stripped from context because it’s from a rather pretentious tv show, is “the universe is rarely so lazy”. meaning that good things happen for a reason, and that you trailed that path for that to happen. yknow what I’m saying? I can’t really explain this without writing a 10 page essay because that’s just how my gemini ass thinks 

3. If you could chose one person on the great beyond, would you take the chance to talk to them? 

you mean someone who has passed away? oh yeah, I would talk to my grandmother. she was raising me and died when she was 4 and that changed not only my entirely life but our whole extended family dynamic... so many questions.

4. From all your hobbies, which one would you love to make a living of?

oh man, writing. I’ve been dreaming of being a writer ever since I was 9 or something. never panned out but that would certainly be the dream. if I could work with videos, subtitling, tv shows, cinema etc that would also be dope as hell!

5. What’s your favorite color palette to wear?

fkgjfsdgiusfdksd I have no fashion sense whatsoever, idk? I do like to wear dark clothes (because weight..) and reds (because pale).

6. What’s your opinion on queerbaiting?

I don’t have the time for it. for starters, it’s something that usually comes from people with very poor writing skills that can’t come up with plots interesting enough to keep viewers/readers hooked in. that already says something. no offense to anyone who is a fan of shows like these, but when it’s mostly written by white men I just don’t have any high hopes for it. you can ask flavs what my reaction was like when I realized the character I had headcanon’ed as wlw in hannibal was actually a wlw. I couldn’t believe it, because what???? since when does that happen, especially in a show run by a white man??? kjdfghsjgd 

I think this is part of a bigger conversation but my point is, don’t fall for it. I know it’s all part of the fight for representation, asking big names to produce big shows with lgbtq+ characters in it and so on, but for the love of god, watch something else too!!!! let GOT rot and die!!!!!!!!! look up different, smaller, cheaper shows, that’s where you find lgbtq+ content creators!!!!!! there’s so many wlw webseries out there, you wouldn’t believe it. you have a choice. don’t give any more of your time and love and word-of-mouth to shows/movies that clearly have no interest in being more diverse. they don’t deserve you. 

and that’s not to say any of it is on us. quite on the contrary, they’re using us. but aside from calling out their bullshit, we do have a chance to boost lgbtq+ content creators. don’t let them fool you into thinking they’re doing you any favors, or that they’re our last chance so we should be paying attention to what they’re doing/saying. fuck them!!!! you can’t queerbait me because I don’t trust you or give you the chance to do it. and you can shove your very straight, very white shows where the sun doesn’t shine, @ hollywood.  

7. Is there a language you would love to speak?

french and korean, mostly. I can understand a little bit of both, but I really wish I was fluent :( oh, will to live and learn, where art thou...

8. Do you have, like, a dream so wild you think it’s impossible?

kjgnsfdkjhjjs having enough money to support myself and my mother??? I don’t have any big, wild dreams, I think. just.......... living comfortably would be a+  

9. How many AUs of your own life do you have in your head?

oh man. I keep thinking about living somewhere in idk iceland or scotland just like... tending goats or something. that’s the most comfortable version of myself I can think of.

I also like to imagine if I could handle being a film director, because that sounds like fun. maybe a screenwriter? anything creative in films, really. 

there’s also the unattainable dream of having a wife and idk maybe adopting a kid? and we’d just. support each other. and love each other. and that’s just. I. [cries]

I like to think how things would be if I were actually hot and not socially awkward.. I’d be someone completely different, basically lol 

10. If you were to meet your younger self, do you think they would think you cool or not?

oh god, younger me would hate present me D: I had such high hopes for myself, I had lots of dreams lol never in a million years did I think I’d be where I am today...

11. Not a question, but please add something postive about yourself, something that you love about you.

IDJFSSIODUGSDFKGDSJ IT’S LIKE YOU KNEW I’D BE A NEGATIVE FUCK, NINI. I................................ I like that I have an easy time with languages? or with classes in general. I like to learn from people, I’m just really unmotivated to leave the house lol 

now onto gray’s q’s:

1. What’s your favourite music video of all time?

straight-up impossible questions right out of the gate huh I SEE YOU, GRAY. I SEE YOU kjdfgjfsdhgkdsjfs

I’ll have to go with a few,

“prototype” by viktoria modesta is just GORGEOUS. I can’t get over this video & song and it’s been years.

“jackpot” by block b looks creepy as shit but the context makes it such a clever yet fun video. take into account that these guys were screwed over by the kpop company that created the group, and that the lyrics talk about hitting jackpot in an industry that’s savage to say the least. to me this video is a visual representation of what a dangerous trap entertainment companies are in the kpop industry, and it also ties in with the groups’ story of being made into dolls by a company and then telling them to fuck off in the end lol 

“treat me like your mother” by the dead weather. I don’t know why I just love it. (cw: gun violence)

“emperor’s new clothes” by panic! at the disco. I MEAN, LOOK AT IT.

“manyo maash” by puer kim. I just love the aesthetic?

honorable mention: “tick tick boom” by the hives because that’s a banger. ba dum tssss.

2. What’s a favourite memory of yours?

I have plenty of good memories, thank god. I think one of my favorites is just hanging out with my friends in 2008-9; one of their older brothers was driving us around town, we were listening to the white stripes at full volume, singing along, all sitting pressed up close together in his shitty car. man, my teenage years would’ve been fantastic if I had stayed there with them!! 

3. Do you play video games? If so, which one’s your favourite?

I DO!!! I mean, not as much as I’d like because a) no money to spare on games/consoles, and b) I suck at basically everything. but I’m obsessed with paladins these days, and I’m also a big fan of LOTRO. I like horror games--mostly the resident evil and silent hill type--and fps. I grew up playing some tomb raider, medal of honor, resident evil... oh, those were the days. 

4. How did you first get into [your fandom of choice]?

with bfu it was that kind of thing where I’d see a meme or two cross my dash and it was always this ridiculous screenshot, or those “that’s it, that’s the show” kinda things with dozens of thousands of notes... until one day I was incredibly anxious, and I needed to watch something or I’d never finish the assignments I had for college. so I just thought “oh hey I should check out that unsolved thing people like so much, it’s buzzfeed so it’s probably good bg noise to work with” lol and it did work, and I did finish my assignments, and that means that I first watched the show barely paying any attention to it because I was busy doing something else. but ryan’s and shane’s voices helped me relax and to this day they still help a lot with my anxiety, to the point that I need to keep coming back every minute or so during episodes because I get distracted just listening to their voices and not absorbing a word lol

5. How did you first get into fandom in general?

uhh.. well, I was a big “pottermaniac” (that’s how I called it) since I was 9, but that was before I realized fandom was a Thing on the internet too. I remember when I was maybe 10 or 11, I entered a chatroom (god, those were wild) just in time to see someone saying in all caps HARRY POTTER IS GREAT AND YOU’RE ALL DUMB FOR NOT SEEING IT or something fkdsjgfdugfsdk and it was this girl using the nickname fawkes. she was older than me, I think that 15 or something, and we exchanged addresses (!!! how am I alive!!!) and were pen pals for a while. but it took me so fucking long to actually find the fandom online that I think my first brush with it was with the arctic monkeys forum I found online in 2008, where I mistakenly said I liked “the muse” and people laughed at me so I never went back to it lol then in 2010 I found out about kpop and that’s when I really dived head-first into fandom life. took me long enough (tbf I was very against the notion of being a “fan” because I was an idiot).

6. What’s at the top of your bucket list?

great fucking question. no idea. I guess.. traveling overseas? if we’re talking wild, distant things. but closer to my reality, getting a job that pays me at least the minimum wage disjgdfgkfsdk #fuckinternships

7. What’s something not many people know about you?

I love dancing and miss it like hell.

8. What’s your favourite medium for storytelling - movie, book, television, musical, comic, internet video, video game, something else? Why that medium?

ohhhhhhh this is an interesting question. as much as I love writing, and think that’s one of the best things we humans have ever come up with, I do love.. musicals? not necessarily theater--although that’s great and I’d sell my soul to see chicago live--but I love the idea of telling stories through music. I really wish we could bring back the custom of telling stories orally, and through music, and that we could as society agree that collective singing is beautiful and should be reintroduced in our day-to-day lives. sure listening to (1) artist singing is great but hAVE YOU TRIED SINGING ALONG DURING A CONCERT WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS SINGING TOO? best fucking feeling in the world. 

we had two bands in brazil, in different periods of time, that were so incredibly famous they’re still cornerstones in our music history. one was legião urbana, some folk-ey rock band that had a couple of songs telling these really long stories that I LOVE with all my heart. faroeste caboclo is our bohemian rhapsody, most people my age or older know the lyrics to it. and mamonas assassinas was this comical (?) rock band that sang dumb, fun songs that usually told stories too and that was the best. I miss that kinda thing. 

9. What’s your favourite food?

red meat, mainly churrasco. but I also can’t live without chocolate milk AND the whopper. capitalism has me by the stomach.

10. Do you have a joke to share?

fjgfsdgskfdgfsk I don’t.. it’s been so long since I last tried telling a joke, I don’t think I know any?

11. What song/artist helped you through your struggles?

pitty has been a big part of my life for some 14-odd years now. “be ok” by ingrid michaelson and “starlight” by muse were my anthems when depression hit hard during my teenage years. the white stripes has also been a constant, with gems like “blue orchid” and “a martyr for my love for you” turning into sort of theme songs for certain parts of my life. choi sam helped me through college. and even though they were a huge disappointment to the point that I stopped listening to them altogether, block b gave me a good 4 or 5 years of distraction from life.

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE TWO

“I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game.” - dem

HOH: Josh C UPSIDE DOWN: Nick & Joshua NOMINEES: Emma & Nash POV: N/A FINAL NOMINEES: N/A EVICTED: Dem (Expelled)

EMMA

I been struggling in this game which is sad i want to have fun but yesterday made me feel like maybe having a meltdown and leaving 90 percent of servers was a good idea for me i really hope not i just really want to have fun and win for some reasons i always have trouble prejury in games trying to find my footing but at jury and late prejury i always know how to rise ASDFGH the people i really like rn are Jakey loml jev loml aria queen saira queen and also joshua is easy to talk too!!! nathan is also great

DEM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSgjyUhGTng

NASH

i simply think men should stop winning hoh and trying to nom me. its week 2 go target someone else j*sh. jev and i are cool now though <3 love him

DEM

I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game. I think I'm not in anyone's bad graces so far, which is good. But I really need to win one of these next HoH's so secure my social relationships. My plan moving forward is to see win HoH's. I want to win the next to HoH's I'm eligible in back to back. I also want to try to secure my relationships with Gina, Jev, and Jake. Those are three people I want to be close with in this game. Also maybe Joshua? He's pretty cool and chill.

SAIRA

I'm still getting a sense of how the game works but I feel pretty good, there are some people that are much easier to talk to than others but everyone is still so nice! i feel good about josh c as hoh! we get along pretty well and I don't THINK im in any danger but you never know! imma be honest, I don't have an actual plan, i'm mostly playing this by ear, just talking to people, bullying beck when the chance arises, and being myself! 

JOSH C

HELLO GIRLIES!

well, we won HOH and that's really EXCITING. i probably didn't need to win this week but i figured that i'd get a win under my belt while nominating people would still be EASY. i can establish trust with some people and get a "i didn't nom you, please don't nom me" situation going on. i also feel like the two people i'm going to nominate would have NOMMED me anyways because we just haven't talked..

who those people are? nash & emma. (vl don't hate me for only nominating women i didn't want it to come to this either)

but i just.. both of them have really only put in any effort to talk to me now that i'm HOH and i don't really LOVE that tbh. i've already told a few people that's who i'm thinking so i kind of accidentally locked myself in on these noms because there isn't any sense in throwing out more names than i have to!!

i have an alliance with kiki, brianna, jacob, jake, and aria. (i think that's the people in it? i wanna say that's right. LKFMSDG love this game for me) and i feel pretty good in that because i like all of them enough and they're people that will watch out for ME and each other. but i know my social connections go beyond that so i'm feeling pretty good with my spot in the game? i have a solid relationship with almost everyone in the game and i think i should be able to play a cute lil utr game for a few weeks. i don't think that i'll get targeted first if my alliance gets outed and if so.. i have ENOUGH faith in my comp strength and relationships to save me against MOST of the cast.

people kind of want me to nominate DEM because apparently he starts drama with people and has been a bit inactive. he's talked with me more than other people so im not super keen on throwing him on the block RIGHT AWAY but i'm thinking he's a good replacement nom because if people think he's MIA then no one other than him will be upset with me. maybe a backdoor? could be spicy..

i don't really know what else to say here so.. i hope this is enough! love u guys <3

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/mJw3qxsZ-Bg

JEV

Okay so I feel like pretty comfortable this week because me and Josh have gotten pretty close and bonded over our mutual love of Lucas HOWEVER he's just let me know he's gonna be nominating Nash and Emma which isn't GREAT since I'm in alliances with both of them and they're the only 2 alliances I have so I really wouldn't want to see either of them go home this week, this SUCKS ASS

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt2xRQqqax8

ARIA

how is it ONLY week 2 i feel so hecking exhausted fhsabfd, but that might also be the fact that is 2 am so,,,oop. Um okay recap time!!!! Recaps are so hard because theres minor details that i still want to note without seeming super annoying so heres a minor list of things im noticing 

-Dem wants to "start playing the game" I told this to Jake (wish i could bold names ugh)

-Gina & dem told me they were gunning hard for hoh- i told nathan/monty/nick/,,,,and someone else this

-emma feels unconnected from cast

-Jake doesnt like Gina

-Josh likes Me Jev Kiki (told joshua)

-emma knows alliances are starting to form

-joey can get pwr hungry and chaotic + good comp ability

-told gnia my thoughts on the sides being "connected v unconnected" and other tidbits of info

-GIna (potentially joshua) doesnt like nash

-Nathan/Nash ARE CLOSE!!!!! WEE FUCKING WOO!!!!

-Told Jake that Jacob has the power (and the bs excuse he told gina pretending he doesnt have it,,,sure jan)

-jake is GREAT at lowering his threat lvl im sick

-Jev-Josh-Nathan-Nash all bonded p well on vc potentially an alliance

-jake tried to get gina nominated

-Emma Nash noms

-Jake doesnt want emma to leave

So,,,thats what you missed on GLEE! Honestly glee sucks but yeah thats all my info i would weave everything together with cute transitions but im TIRED and lots of this information doesnt really connect well so,,,have a bullet list! 

okok nvm heres some general thoughts bc JUST a bullet point list is so boringgg im honestly not too sure what i want to do this week bc i think emma doesnt have a lot of people (although she has jake apparently,,,she might just be putting up a front of being unconnected ffs) so i would rather keep her around based on our relationship alone esp compared to nash whose been busy w/ irl things to reply i think (nash would prob do gr8 in old school bb,,,but new school is a whole other beast) HOWEVER!!! I need to protect gina who isn't the best conversationalist (sorry bb ily but its true <3) and keeping nash around ensures people have another "inact" target besides her but also nash is such a god connection for people like nathan and jacob and i would rather get her out sooner than later before we have another renee on our hands ...

Also i havent talked to the pasio peeps (omg if we ever make an alliance,,,that should be the name hehe) in a while and idk if theyre distancing themselves or if theyre just busy fndsjafd god im too paranoid for this game its awful. Also i think i mentioned the alliance with josh kiki bri jake jacob last time and it still isnt made and im PRAYINGGG it never gets made bc i have SUCH an awful feeling like SIX FUCKING PEOPLE??? S I X?? THAT IS GOING TO FAIL AND BLOW UP!!!! but i cant say no to an alliance so here i fucking am :/ also im trying to think of my longevity in this game and like,,, idk im nervous. I mean ive mentioned going to the end with multiple people but i have such a bad feeling im gonna go out 9/10 as a big move and i REFUSE to let that shit happen, not on my fucking watch no sir!! Not sure what to do about it yet but i feel like monty in particular doesnt trust me and i need his ass OUT! or maybe not if he comes around but like??? sir pls talk to me- i mean this phase of the game is early im setting up the pawns for later, but before later theres gonna be a couple explosions of my game which i'll have to deal with,,, or maybe not actually i mean in my first org i did a really well mastermind game with it- nvm it did explode on me once FDBSHFDS yeah so theres gonna be an explosion period but i think im getting good at dealing w/ the backlash from it and reintegrating myself..

oh also yeah im safe this week lol

anyway sorry for rambling so much LMAO have a trust ranking!

1.Gina (MY QUEEN!!!!!!!! i LOVE her!)

-BIG BIG FUCKING GAP-

2.Jake (listen,,,my thoughts go back and forth but he did tell me the noms so,,,have some rights)

3.Saira (we never talk game but i dont think she talks with anyone about game beyond maybe nick and also shes nice and im a sucker for nice girls)

4.Emma (if this isnt all just a front shes gonna make a great number for me,, might need to fact check some of her statements tho)

5.Joshua (honestly? i love him hes so funny and i think he has my back although he could be more act)

6.Nathan (literally havent talked in 3 days but also i have a soft spot for him <3)

-GAP-

sorry the Js are just kinda scary lmao JFNSDKF

7.Nick (!! we gotta an actual connection folks!! heck yeah!)

8.Josh c (im safe! but he D E F trusts others more than me such as Joshua and Jacob)

9.Jev (honestly a king but hes a little quiet although his reccs are the BOMB)

10.Jacob (i know youre being sneaky,,,idk what youre being sneaky with but im getting the vibes)

11.Dem (might be weird but i think he trusts me? at least a little bc he ranted about losing to me so O.0)

12.Brianna (youre adorable and deserve the world but everyone likes you,,,is this how people view me omg fhsabfhds)

13.Kiki (youre SO hecking sweet and actually u probs have a connections to nash but we havent talked ANY game yet)

14.Nash (p,,p-please talk to me uwu)

15.Joey (i dont trust you at ALL! Why? good question-)

was that mean? sorry in advance ilyall but also its 3 am brain empty no filter

NASH

i think jev and nathan might end up being good allies of mine (inb4 betrayal)! despite the mistake he made nomming me, talking to jev has been lovely so far he's getting me into loona LMFAO. and i just love nathan's energy & i feel like as the season goes on i can see him winning comps. i'm excited :3 hope josh c does not end my existence this week

JOEY

I feel FANTASTIC about Josh being HoH. I’m making sure that others are coming to me about gameplans, and I’m making sure I don’t come off as too pushy or aggressive in PMs. With most of the players, I’m trying to give them all the same energy and hype. It seems kinda weird to say this, but I’m not concerned about being nominated at this point. What I need to ensure is building my social relationships with people outside the “Crackhouse”, and yes that big ol friend group moved to Discord in 20 minutes like 6 months ago. 

This is the first major game I’ve ever played with Skinny Nick(yes, I’m absolutely confused as to what to call them, I’m so used to calling Nick “Eve” that its going to take time to adjust.) Speaking of Nick, my social relationship with him is actually surprisingly similar. In the past, I felt as though it would be as “on-sight” as Tom & Jerry, and it actually isn’t turning out that way, which is surprisingly refreshing. Every day, I’m making sure I send Nick something different to diversify my social game with them. Yesterday, I asked Nick about his preferred streaming services for music and TV, and I discovered we have the same music service(Apple Music).

I’ve played one game with Monty before, but it was a disaster. We were in pairs, and it felt like we were on different planets. I did tell him to not worry about personal feelings when it comes to this game, because I compared the relationship of BB Netflix and the Crackhouse to the separation of church and state. I made that comparison because the two entities of church and state should never cross, but when they do it becomes disastrous, and I feel as though that same principle applies to this game.

Overall, I feel good, Emma may be going up on the block, but it shouldn’t affect me that much. We’re in the early stage, I want to make sure I’m good with everyone.

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFeox7LM1-E

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLkZ-BIIjTU

HOUSE MEETING

https://youtu.be/BZMorvWvyKY

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT WEEK 1 & 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc-iMpkfrdw&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=3&t=0s

[bloojayoolie]

Af, Anime, and Apparently: , Okay Ibl, story ame when I wss younger, had this Irish friend who pred our school when w as like 17, Dude ded recently nd here丐the ballad of the merveeus bsstard be average as fuck 17 year old Bribong Some foreign guy has just joined, his family just moved here city called Dery in Mgved here with his dad and his lite sister, his mum died when he was younger He gets put in my class and ends up stting nest to me This is howl met Eigh-Beers Mgee the all him Call him a hippo because of his fucking industrial size frant teeth and his big flucking lps Greg uses his adism to get out of doing and saying whatever the fuck he wants noing EB wth she lke Greg has his desk very paricularly arranged, pens on one side in a straight ine pencis on the other Dude is OCD as fuck with his pencilcase and shit Goes nuts i anything gets moved, so this desk is sightly apart from everyone elses We all get in shit twe fuck with him an purpose, We ought to know better The sutistic hippo keeps trying to get a reaction out of EB the whole class All af a sudden EB just casualy raises a foot and pushes the Hppo's desk right the fuck over Teacher hurries oer and trying to explan to EB atma Gregs autism while Greg teaks the tack G in his chair, breathing reawy ss thoug gh nong bd sheer辍tstie resentment EB looks at Greg and betsthe teacher "Oh sorry, wedant have Wid bump with more nenhinbeland' h on EB's third day at our school He's a pretty cool guyikes the 쑈me vidya and movies as me and is a big fan of Rugby, was captan of his team back iieland ell hem the school has s rughy searn he says EB goes to check it out, starts off on the lower team because hes think theyire ston of kind of fast runners gets recks fucking everyone that next hal f hel take him Jumps on him, grabs him by the neck to pull him down and iterally rolls on him ike a fucking rolling pn -EB didniteven have the bal What the fook you playin at son I didnt even have the ball, do you even know how to fookin play the game lad EB grins You know over in Ireland you have to be fit to play sports, the fatties get leit on the sideline EB grabs his amn and tosses him to the ground dude twists his anke or something and starts twitching and squeaking lke a baby elephant with parkinsons EB gets put on top team Anonymous (D wHTHOgC) 03 19/14(Wedj20 28 25 UTC-5 No 538041137 Reple 41T months without inc dont give long as youre cool to him dents aside from a few close cals with Greg the Mildly Autistic Hppo e pretty close Apparently ㅲ Ireland they don't have gangs they have paramitanes fighting between whether Northern lreland ts Britsh or hsh >He plays 4down a kal, bd ican tell some shit mu have Pagpened because he always changes the subject when gets clos·tohame Edgy fapgot Luke comes back to school Luke hangs around with a pack of riggers who are all apparenty in a gang, he les to pretend he's part of this "gang" and carries this fucking Stanky e around that he panted red and bue for some reason aOne day at lunch Like corries up to EBied o ofnotere starts askrig his datisalcoholc Nope aound Tm guessin your mam had a far lew belore you were born though mate Well tuck Ind wanna sift speI had to sht out a dat bastardlke yourset. Jog on ン"You win t)4ck with the wrong person t y inst, boy?" EB starts laughing, IHeraly loses his sht at the ste of this Itle fagpot in a trenchc oat with a stanley knfe and actualy presses EB grabs his wrist, takes the fabled blade from the hands of the chosen one tosses t over a fence and punches him straight in the face We're out geting beer, Tm with a 7/10 GT that Ive had a crush on for tucking months Her and EB get along realy wel, athough I sort of think she only hung out with us because EB did That right when we're all drunk, me and QT end up fucking Leaving out my side because this is the ballad of Eght Beer, not me Spend ages taking with QT,estabǐshthat shè apparenty seat, ikes me back EB heads up to bed, I stay down with the other guys to watch TV, QT was askeep when 1 came down QT comes running do wwith a towel round her, soaking wet, and rung out the ont door Apparently EB sleeps naked, not surpnised since Ive found him naked before after a night of drinking Says she came on to himeven ater all he shit she said aLaugh숨 and says he took aprt to bed with hm,awas cn e tablo and when she ed onwth him he lossed all over her Threw her clothes out the wendow into the rain and told her to go and fetch Two weeks later he takes me to a pub and hooks me up with a 910 Anonymous (TDwHT HOC) 03/1914(Wed 20.43 59 UTC-5 No 538044014 Raps.4380408044772 332420 EB and me are total bros after being fnends for a few years 가%aving hm as a best friend is Ike havngtose nasty trainers as a kid Shit get pretty he avy >Him and E汨were close, mostly because EB would buy him vidya and act super interested in the anime sht he lied because nobody else other than me would loses his har chermo aGotovst him, EBisgung me there >He thinks rs awesome get our photo taken together witout any har EB lets him draw all kinds of dumb sh on his bad head, lets him draw a dumb moustache on him o Spend ages just dicking a >Son of a bitch luke who R is, Dukey the Rookie is across the bar in the same tucking trenchcoat he wore back at school >EB says hi chats away to him lbe nothing ever happened >We head home and EB spend the night sitting up with me playing Batlefront on my old P52 and drinking, just trying to cheer me up me every time Sorry for that 2sad4me post, but iti make sense later Anonymous (IO woitth%) 05/19/14(Wed)20 52 46 UTC-5 No 530045357 Reeses 씌38amsrme esaaa Lving together in a let with some chick and her boyfriend The one song I remember is "Uncle Tommy by The Rumjacks, because it played when sht went down EB told them that he "ain't lookin any trouble lads, have a beer and forget that tripe for the night aye? 4 of them jump on him, start beating the shit out of him -l tackle one of them to try help him, get the fuck beaten out of me but fuck that it's goddamn E8 in there EB broke the dudes fucking am He gets up, bleeding out of every pore in his beaunful iwish body Bouncing around with his fists up, Ieraly looks ike he could fly around the room he's bouncing that much The skinheads keep going for him but back off every time aher he swings, it looks lke he could knock a building down with that sh Babbling some incoherent shit in lrish rage, nobody understands the words but everyone understands the meaning pack up there sht ike a scene from a fucking move Eight tucking beersl You splied eight of me fucking beers you hairless tuckin mongrels Eight beers lad, eight fucking beers What's the fucking craic there lke Anonymous (D: wHTiHOgC) 031914(Wed]21:6 02 UTC-5 No. 538047326 EB sgoing back to Ireland to vist his nan, she's real sick 기we lar dr, Befast-thritrs the captal of the oth but not of Ireland ckhow t wori ed EB never eaty expla edit, 5ad you wont understand the bullsh politics unless you grew up there go 1o vist his nan with EB' Sweetest tucking old lady ever, says that EB was always a rough lad but awk he'd never hurt a sour greedy fucker This woman is clearly the most infuenial famly member in the Eight Beer famly EE shows me round Derry, tels me about how 5pIt relgusy and shows methes bg ass wall cood place Takes me to Belast agan and shows methe pace wherethe ttanc was bu -we end up going to place caled The Crown Bar Ger pretty drunk, or Tpped as EB calls it Walked around Belfast for a bt, he tells me about the history of some stuf »Spend a few nights there, have a fucking blast but decide to head home don't wanna be an inrusion on the whole nan stustion Lad you're practicaly a part of the famly Anonymous D wH7HOQC) 03/19/14Wd21 18 48 UTC-5 No 538040230 Getting close to the end now Shits hard to wrte, I miss hat fucker Life is prety uneventful for a wle pparentty some Kiddy Fiddler called Wilm Whight fucked EB when totally agan family home a load of sht, fucks 2EB spends all nut there next to her, nearly gets wolent when staff ask harto leave so doctors can sort some 닸官out calm him down and we wat r, hosptzd for brig bme B's Sister gets beter, but is pretty fucked for life Never taks never leaves the house she's pretty much a goddarmn vegetable EB spends all of his time off work with her, never comes out anymore, just sts in with her. We sometimes come ound and drink with him but he refuses to leave the house -One night while he's sieeping, EB's fucked up sister C's faul, that's pretty much the main subject of t. I don't get why she'd need to say that but whabever Tels me he waan't that close with his family back home his dad is fucked up with grief and everythings just a mess ie doesn't want to go home because he has nothng there other than remnders, but doesn't want to stay here because of what has pened Does his best to be the usual bi9dck coolguy that he always was, puts on a brave face but f you c h him on his own he's luckn9 merable ite gets in 갠 few fights when we're ot dmkrg ry one who gnestmamy 5hvt gets m edistety fucking amidated none ofths ads everyone on" that he used to do s fighting back tears already guessed, but he starts teling me about how he blames himseffor what 거had pened to his sis have tucking known better >Lterally carrot change his mid anthis shit, looks like he has himse#1uly convinced th this is his taut we talk about old imes laugh a be things actualy seem back to normal for whie Ainight mabe. Let's have one for old tme's sake, ae? Hie eventualily leaves, but before he goes he tells me that 'You've been a good mate from day one mate. Honestly out on a limb rd do fuckin' anything for ya Take t easy lad speti ong tme EB doesn't reply to teats or Cutign place doeant answer B tucking hung himsel is fanly tatoo many things that I don't need thanked every tme fucker

[celticbotanart]

SO I GOT THIS QUESTION ON MY SEA WITCH VIDEO, AND SINCE I’VE BEEN RECEIVING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS A LOT, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE IMPORTANT TO SHARE MY ANSWERS HERE AS WELL. Question: " it's a shame how I want to be a an artist and I cant even draw this good and I don't even know or have all the tools... I just don't feel like I'm ever going to be an artist. Any tips?? how come I don't have all the tools?? I only have like 10... how many years have you be been drawing in paint tool sai??? I'm only 15, and did you take classes or are self-taught???? srry for a the questions ... I'm just trying to find hope and motivation 😔“ 

*** Well, first of all, that mentality  of "I'll never be a good artist" mindset has to go away. Being good at art is rarely about someone's natural skill and much more about years and years of practice. I didn't even dream I would be able to paint such a portrait when I was 15 myself (I am 27 now, so you can already see where I am going with this). So please, don't think it is "shameful" you can't draw like that yet when I didn't draw like that when I was your age, lol. Some teens can paint and draw insanely good - examples: Kiwi Byrd, Tamberella, Sara Teppes, they aren't teens anymore but they are currently like 19 or 20 and they've been posting art for years now. They are exceptions or they simply perceive/absorb art skills  differently, but you can see they are ALWAYS drawing and posting something, from a sketch to a full painting, they are always producing art, which of course, speeds their improvement a lot. I will ALWAYS show and link this to people, because more than anything I want to de-romanticize and un-mistify this idea that art is 1- easy (it is not, no matter what it may seem or how some people might be quicker to learn it, it is still hard to learn new tecniques and styles and to study art) and 2- that art is absolutely impossible to improve: THIS IS MY IMPROVEMENT MEME CHART THAT COVERS FROM 2003 to 2016.  As you can see, at your age I literally drew some anime-style characters and fanarts, most based out of something else (like the Amy Lee manga portrait, it was referenced on one of Amy's most famous promo pictures). I only started with digital art when I was sixteen and only got a tablet pen (a Wacom Bamboo Fun small) three years later when I was 19. Tools are helpful, but when you are a beginner, they don't really matter to be quite honest. I mastered watercolors  by constantly practicing with the cheapest, worst quality watercolors and nankin ink you can ever imagine from the age of 14. They were literally school / tools for children quality. That Amy Lee I mentioned earlier on my chart was all done with ballpoint pen. And to this day, ballpoint pens are one of my absolute favorite materials do draw with because they are cheap, simple and we can achieve awesome effects and textures with them. They were all done recently with only common ballpoint pens: 

If your foundations aren't good in drawing, your art won't look good no matter how many tools you have and no matter how expensive they are, the art will still look bad. If you can make wonders with cheap-ass materials, you will be fine in any situation. If you have 10 tools (I guess they are commons stuff like pens, pencils, colored pencils?) you already have a very good start. I've been drawing on Paint Tool SAI since 2009, which means this year will be 8 years of using the software. 

This was literally my first attempt on Paint Tool SAI, in 2009:

This was one of my latest paintings with the same software, made last month:

On the other hand, I still use a Bamboo Pen small tablet, which is a good one but far from what you would call "the best" tablet; again, remember what I said up there - try to work with what you have in your hands. Sometimes upgrades will have to be necessary for you to improve, for example, you can't improve at playing the violin if your violin is a cheap/beginner violin because in that skill, the quality of the instrument counts a lot for the quality of sound you will get. Art supplies work more or less the same way, but unlike the violin, it is not a deal breaker if you have cheaper stuff or if the quality is inferior.  I've taken a few classes / attended a few fast courses because these are super expensive here in Brazil where I live. But I was once an apprentice of this dude who had a painting studio near where I live. It last only a few months, I had to stop attending due to many reasons, oil paintings not really being one of the easiest materials to deal with being one of them, BUT I still learned a great deal on traditional painting which I use to this very day on my digital art. Another tip would be exactly that - try watching traditional oil painting videos, they have great techniques and tips that can easily be applied on digital (my favorite is Andrew Tischler's channel, his videos are dynamic and his technique is insanely good). Observing old paintings that you might like also help a lot (my favorite painter is by far William Bouguereau, I've been observing his art since 2009, and I try to apply what I see in his works on mine). 

However, I would say I am mostly self taught - and by that I mean I read and watched a ridiculous amount of tutorials online, from deviantart and on youtube, and whenever I see a tutorial I stop to at least take a look. Don't judge tutorials by the quality of the art being presented in it, I've learned A LOT about SAI by reading tutorials and watching speedpaints on YT of what would be considered "bad anime art" or just "weaboo anime art". Since learning art can be tough and you can get really unmotivated and bored, draw whatever you want: fanarts, OC's, animals, landscapes, it doesnt matter as long as you like it. You can see on my improvement chart that 90% of stuff in there is fanart. It has its cons (for example, people can take the longest time to recognize your original art or not pay attention to it at all, like it still happens to me) but it definitely has its pros as well.  Also, I am very good at drawing faces and characters (hence this only took me 3h to paint, i've been painting faces since ever and they are one of my favorite things to paint), but I am extremely bad at drawing and painting backgrounds. They can come out looking nice, but I still can't paint just anything (for example, I can paint a forest decently, but I can't paint a city scape with buildings and such). My backgrounds are often very limited, simple and / or just suggested (like in my recent "Goblin" video, the forest behind him is only suggested, but it is enough to convey the message). I should practice more on BG's, but I don't lol. So don't be like me on that, haha. Long story short: - art is hard and takes a long time to learn and to improve, it is completely normal to take time to improve; - don't be fooled by the illusion of expensive art supplies = good art. Work with what you have at hands, try different tools and  supplies and see what suits you the best; - read read read read read tutorials and watch as many YT speedpaints and tutorials you can. Even if they are long, even if they seem they won't add you anything new or good. - draw a lot, and draw what you enjoy. I hope this was somehow helpful!

[queenrozaay]

i like bad ideas | 08 JUNE 17

{ status: finished } pairing: jongin x rosé bg: jongin and rose have been an unspoken thing for practically ever, but both parties are too oblivious to see it while everyone else can. it’s been quite some time they’d seen each other last due to busy schedules. what happens when a somewhat buzzed jongin meets a slightly tipsy rosé? ho-hum.

-

pcy: /walking not too far ahead of her was none other than, kim jongin himself. even in this dim lighting, people pushing and shoving, dancing all up on each other, she could recognize his silouette anywhere; [ kkt -> this donut ] Watson, I think we have an Emergency- /a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips, looking up just in time to see him disappear into the crowd of sweaty bodies;

kji: /carrying around a small cup filled with some type of sweet alcohol, he couldn't actually tell whether it was berries or a mix of something else, he was just satisfied with it tasting good, and went along to mingle with a few friends he spotted until the buzz in his pocket caught his attention, breathing out a barely audible laugh; [ kkt → that coffee shop punk ] ......What kind of trouble did you get into now?

pcy: /rather than searching for him, she made her way over to the bar and took a seat there. to be perfectly honest she was getting quite claustrophobic anyways- not only that, but she wanted to kick herself for letting her members convince her to wear this stupid long-sleeved black dress that although looked nice on her, was maybe a little too short for her liking. rosé ordered herself a simple cosmopolitan, nothing too fancy and while waiting for her order to arrive, she tended to that single unread message that had been sitting there for who knows how long; [ kkt -> this donut ] listen here, bub- i did nothing of the sort! [ kkt -> this donut ] why do you always think i'm stirring up trouble. [ kkt -> this donut ] i'm hurt- :'( x320943234

kji: /he wasn't much of a talker this evening, mainly because all the performances lately have been draining all of his energy, he wasn't even sure why he agreed to go to this party, it's not like anyone even dragged or forced him. but the whole exo went, and scattered around who knows where, leaving him there. he excused himself out of the company he was with and went to the restroom to 'wash his hands', so it wouldn't be awkward to escape from them momentarily before sneaking his way to one of the couches, his phone out at hand again; [ kkt → that coffee shop punk ] aren't you though? I've been convinced for the past while that you're a trouble magnet, and I've actually had a thought, what would I do if you ended up in jail? [ kkt → that coffee shop punk ] i'd bail you out but for a price. [ kkt → that coffee shop punk ] but anyway, what was this "emergency" about? where you at?

pcy: /clubbing wasn't really her thing, but her members had wanted to celebrate their 300 days together as BLACKPINK tonight since it was the only night where they didn't have anything planned, thank the freakin' lord. But despite wanting to do this, rosé hadn't seen her members for a good hour or so- knowing lisa- she was probably wiping up the dance floor. Jisoo and Jennie? She wouldn't be surprised if they were chatting up a storm with some random cuties. With a small sigh, rosé looked down at her screen again, finger playing with the straw of her pretty drink; [ kkt -> this donut ] I'm somewhat offended you'd think dumb enough to get myself caught. What kind of idiot do you take me for? Sometimes I wonder... [ kkt -> this donut ] a small price? Yah- what kind of agreement is this anyways? [ kkt -> this donut ] and it's called it's this thing I like to call "missing my daily dose of kim jongin" [ kkt -> this donut ] find me. it shouldn't be too hard 😉

kji: /chin propped on his hand as he leaned onto the table just scrolling through a few sns stuff still wondering why his tired ass still decided to come here, though this music was slightly hyping him up to go and dance away among all the others, there was just one thing though. he was too busy with texting back, reading through rose's messages had him amused as always, a slight taste of alcohol enhancing that feel too. [ kkt → that coffee shop punk ] oh no believe me, I do know you'd be able to avoid getting caught at all costs, but there's always that one lil mistake 😌 [ kkt → that coffee shop punk ] do you expect me to come bail you out for free?? Knowing you, I'd have to be paying for the next 10 years if this was vice versa [ kkt → that coffee shop punk ] well damnnn rose, are you flirting with me, how many drinks did you have? 😂 if I find you I'm gonna give you a hard time, just you wait I'm on my way. give me a hint though, are you sitting down somewhere?

pcy: /okay, maybe downing all those jaeger bombs before coming here wasn't such a good idea after all. heck the last thing she should be doing is order another drink but here she was placing an order for a margarita instead. just what exactly was she doing? if she knew she wouldn't be in this situation now would she?; [ kkt -> this donut ] but you're right. That's fairrrre. we can discuss bail-outs another time. [ kkt -> this donut ] and gosh I don't know jongin. Am I? I wooonndderrr~ 🤔 /She took a moment to look up from her phone and scanned the area to see if he was nearby. She didn't even know why she bothered considering just how fuzzy everything looked in the moment. Heck she was surprised she could even respond to him properly; [ kkt -> this donut ] I do like that color on you though- your shirt.. but you know what I like better?

kji: /these flirty texts really did make him wonder just how much she had to drink to actually say these things, he already screenshot them just for keeps and have something to tease her over, it was like hitting the jackpot. [ kkt → that coffee shop punk ] you won't even compliment me when I ask you about my dance, so what's this all of a sudden? then again, don't they say alcohol brings out all the truth outta people? didn't know you had a thing for me 😏 /he was honestly completely kidding just going full on at teasing the girl, pretty oblivious to a lot of things so he'd never know if anyone did like him unless told face to face. He pushes his way past the dancing bodies and a few drunk girls that placed their hands a bit too comfortably over his chest, having to still reject them kindly. And just as he thought, sitting at a bar right across from where he was, no other than his troublemaker rose. He walks up from behind her to tap her shoulder; Talking about this shirt? Were you stalking me? Cause this is my first time seeing you /he laughs and takes a seat beside, curious gaze observing her features and actions;

pcy: /boy if only he knew- but then again it /could/ very well be the alcohol talking. she didn't know, but what she did know was she wasn't sober enough to navigate her way out of this place; pfft. a thing for him please.. /she muttered under her breath before taking a small sip of the margarita she had barely touched. she wasn't able to get far though, finding herself jumping in surprise in response to the light shoulder tap; Jesus! You nearly gave me a heart attack- jerk. /her eyes narrowed, zeroing in on him, lips thinning into a tight line; it's cute how you think I have the time nor interest to follow you around. As a matter of fact, I happened to have stumbled across your sns post earlier this evening and /saw/ said shirt you "happen" to be wearing. Actually- hold that thought. /she turned to face him, resting her chin in the palm of her hand, eyes softening as they met his again; -yah caught me. I obviously need to pick up a new hobby. But I can't help myself? You're just so damn good looking. /she pouted, sarcastic;

kji: /he wouldve said he was sorry for scaring her but that startled face was priceless, so he wasn't in the least bit sorry, only gave her a crooked grin that held no other vibe but a teasing one. their back and forth bickerings, oh how did he miss that today.he cracks a joke next; Jerk- ouch, Rose after all that you said to me in messages. What can I say though, I give a lot of girls heart attacks, but they don't complain about it as much /he wasn't actually someone to boast about looks, in fact he really was humble about a lot of things, but how could he go without giving some sort of playful comeback.he was just about to part his lips to say something more in response to her other comments, only to pause and quirk a brow, seeing how her demeanour completely changed, and he couldnt help but laugh at her dorkiness, typical rose honestly, he wouldn't have expected anything less from her; Wow. So I see you're stalking me online /and/ at the clubs, you're giving me all sorts of feels now, I don't even know where to begin. /he raised a finger to playfully tap it to her forehead, eyeing the drink she had in her hand; But for real though, how come you're left here all alone in this state? Are you actually looking for trouble? You're lucky I'm around, that guy's been eyeing you for about five minutes now. /he nods his head to motion behind her while giving one of the teen looking guys quite a dangerously scary glare;

pcy: /she simply stuck her tongue out at him in response and offered nothing more while she listened to him speak. she knew he was good looking- the world knew he was good looking, /he/ probably knew he was good looking. it was no secret; yeah well, i'm not just another girl, punk. but if you haven't figured that out yet, that's more of a 'you' problem. /she gave a light shrug, eyes wandering off to the side, but what had caught her attention was the tail end of his words. someone had been watching her what? curious, she looked over her shoulder to find two boys scurrying away quickly; what boys- i don't even- oh- /she had turned around just in time to see his bone-chilling glare. it didn't suit him, it really didn't; hey- you'll scare all the girls away looking like this. it doesn't suit you. /she whispered softly, fingers lightly tugging up the corners of his lips into a small smile- or so she tried; there- that's better heh.

kji: Don't I know that. Don't think I've ever met such a crazy like you before, to think, you were actually the one to save me back then- I don't know if the universe simply hates me or thought it'd be funny to play a prank. /he sighed feigning defeat even though he knew quite well himself that his days just wouldn't be the same without her coming online to bug him, and vice versa, and who would he escape to when he'd been having a crazy enough day with his group mates? A satisfied expression took over his features as soon as he saw the other creepers taking a turn from them, not thinking that it'd actually work, maybe he had more rage in him than he thought. Her touch got him to snap out of his thoughts and bring his attention back on her, ending up going along and smile with a breathy laugh because he couldn't fight it; Tch. And being all alone, drunk and vulnerable doesn't suit /you/. Can't let you be thrown into the den with hungry men, you'll give them a headache with your sass, poor guys. /he teased , cracking up before sighing softly; Where's the other black pink punks? Can you walk?

pcy: Ha-Ha. /Very/ funny. Who knew you were such a comedian- /she scoffed lightly, letting her hands fall to her lap; You know that's a very good question. I think they ran away the second the heard the sound of a "crazy" person's laughter. Bet they figured I could fend for myself just fine. /and there she was shrugging nonchalantly again, something she found herself to be doing more often than not around him. she made a mental note to fix that bad habit; I think I can manage- /seeing as to how she could comprehend his words and respond clearly, she didn't see why she /couldn't/ walk and so she decided to test her theory and hopped off of the bar stool, stumbling forward some; Woooaah- /Okay.. scratch that- maybe she couldn't after-all; -Mm. I can. /she lied cooly, lazy grin cast his way. if there was anything she hated more than appearing weak, it was inconveniencing others;

kji: I take pride at being funny, if exo doesnt work out I'll do some stand up if I'm up for it. /he props his elbow onto the bar's counter, head leaning onto his hand; I'm sure they did, they could tell there was some strange danger vibe coming from you ha. Listen, punk, I know you're very much capable of smacking a few around but, scary shit can happen when you least expect it when alcohol's involved. /he was surprised at himself that he was showing his concern so openly, somehow yelling over all the nuic for her to hear him, and blamed it on the only one drink that he had earlier. He raised a brow in disbelief and he wasn't wrong, seeing that she was wobbling on her feet, and gave her the all knowing 'told you so' glare. But he couldn't just leave her like this, reaching out to take a hold of her arm to keep her balanced as he stands up; Where's your phone? I'll text Lisa and the rest to let them know that I'm taking you home, otherwise you're gonna pass out here and get swept away by that bartender or something.

pcy: /rosé let out an inaudible sigh and passed him her phone. she should'e known better than to try to fool him into thinking otherwise. anyone with eyes could see she wasn't able to support herself. oh how she hated when he was right, but she hated herself more for letting herself get to this state to which she attributed to the stress her pending comeback brought. yg and his fickle mind was always giving her and her members unnecessary anxiety and stress. and if it meant escaping temporarily, so be it. reckless, probably. but this was rosé afterall; Pfft. I think Jennie or Jisoo would be more befitting for him. I'm almost positive I'm faarrrr from his type. /'Honestly rosé a simple, thank you and i'm sorry would've done just fine. Would it kill you to say those words? Why yes, yes it would.' she had thought to herself;

kji: Pfft, please, by swept away I mean literally swept away by a broom off the counter since he'll need to close and lock this place up. /he mumbled loud enough for her to hear as he busied himself with keeping her balanced by wrapping an arm around her shoulder to reel her against his side, and finding the contact list for her members, deciding to just send the text in a group chat for the three other girls just in case. He then slips her phone back into her hand and takes in a deep breath; Okay so, kinda try and hold on tight to me cause we're about to dive into the sea of sweating bodies. Don't get lost on our way out.

pcy: /her lips take the form of an 'Oh.' Well didn't she feel dumb? But then again, she /could/ just blame it on the alcohol. Yeah? Before she could say more her thoughts were interrupted momentarily as a rather musky scent invaded her senses - a scent she liked very much. Turning her head some, she found herself leaning onto him for some support, fingers clutching onto the fabric of his shirt, the othed hand busy tucking her phone away into one of his front pockets of his pants- or so she was trying to; I don't have any pockets so- If you could hold this for me I'd greatly appreciate it. /and for the first time in ages rosé was cooperative, mostly because she had wanted to leave this place since she and the girls had gotten here but didn't want to rain on their parade; Lead the way, Watson. I'm counting on you~ /she sang, playful grin tugging at the corners of her lips;

kji: /his protective mode switched on in that moment as she closed in, or maybe it already did ever since he sat down next to her no wonder his reactions were a little different as he was more aware of their surroundings, either way, he found it cute how she struggled with her phone and helped out by wiggling it into his pocket himself; Yeah yeah. Let's go then, Sherlock Rose, dork. If you end up getting lost I'm not coming back for you just a warning. /he teased bringing his lips close to her ear to mumble the words before pushing past the insanely hyped up crowd, a few of them bumping into the two but he took care turning his back on them to prevent the others from separating them, making it out with success after a few struggling minutes; I.. /he groans after searching his back pocket only to find just a few leftover won which were far from enough for a taxi; You won't pass out on me will you? Cause we might just have to walk home--

pcy: /thankfully no collapsing or passing out happened, but she might as well considering how defeated she looked by the time they stepped out onto the street; I- will try not to.. I make no promises though.. /she wasn't sure what he was digging around his pockets for but soon learned and she couldn't help but feel somewhat helpless in the moment, eyes lowering to her feet in shame; I-I'm sorry! I would offer to help but I'm almost positive I gave my wallet to Jisoo unnie to keep since this dress doesn't really have pockets and I hate carrying purses... /the pain shooting down her leg wasn't doing her much justice either. she looked up at him somewhat uneasy, teeth scraping her bottom lip, something she did out of habit when she was anxious; can I take off my heels though? They're killing me-

kji: /even any passer by could tell that she wasn't in the state of walking on her feet, damn sehun borrowing money from him earlier too, he couldve used that and boy will he use this as an excuse to tell the guy that he owes him big time. her comment however made the frown on his features disappear replaced by a subtle crooked smile, the fact that she seemed to feel bad for not being able to help out. he booped her nose with his fingertip to get her to smile and look at him instead; you can pay me with fries and and maybe some boba next time I'm holding you down for this. /even though she probably won't remember this the next morning, he still had his fun with playful words. Concern reflected in his eyes as soon as he saw that something was wrong, for a second he thought that maybe alcohol wasn't doing well with her stomach only to be relieved that it was just the heels; Come here punk, before you give yourself a bruise. /he mumbled softly and picked her up to seat her on the bench nearby as he himself crouched down to take the heels off for her, turning his back to her after; Hop on.

pcy: eww that combo sounds gross, but if it means getting on your good side again, then sure. you got yourself a deal, but you're gonna have to wait until i get paid though. i spent my last paycheck restocking the fridge cuz the others have the appetite of teenage boys- /she heard herself say as she followed him over to the bench. rosé had grown silent at some point, eyes following his each and every movement. she wasn't sure if it was just the alcohol that was making her feel all kinds of weird on the inside, but man- jongin /really/ was good looking. the way the moonlight shined upon him made him look like some kind of fallen angel. 'geez- what the hell are you thinking chae? he's practically the spawn of satan! don't let his looks fool ya' she was so lost in thought, she didn't even notice he had said something to her; h-huh?! /she said dumbly, silently wondering how long she had been staring at him like that, she wouldn't be able to tell you; wait- what?

kji: /he cracks up at the fact that she actually agreed to this, and slipped his phone out, clicking into the voice recording settings; I'll need you to repeat this as a contract deal in case you forget any of this. Also by fries I mean a full meal deal and another day of boba, please, I'm gonna take full advantage of this. Though I feel you on that, in exo dorm it's like hunger games, literally. /he carried on just mumbling things in amusement, and most of it was mainly to himself because since he didn't hear much from her after. it was most likely alcohol just making her extra sleepy, he thought to himself as he picks up her heels, noticing her stare but not really thinking of it much. it's funny though, he couldn't remember the last time he took anyone home to take care of, and even more so wondered why is he bringing her home and not to her own dorm? Oh right. The key, she wouldn't have it - perfect excuse; Yah, don't sleep on me just yet, hop on my back first. /he repeats as he takes a glance back;

pcy: Oh- um right... /How embarrassing. Hopefully, he didn't think too much of it and dismissed it as her just being her scatter-brained self; -er.. lets see.. how do i do this? /For the longest time she couldn't figure out to climb on his back but still be lady-like. And again she cursed herself for letting her members talk her into wearing such a short dress. What kind of luck is this even? In the end, she said screw it to being lady-like and hopped on, legs circling around his waist, arms wrapping around his neck somewhat loosely. 'Damn. He smelled good too-' how was this even possible?; And again- I make no promises...

kji: /he brought his hands up to take a hold of her arms as they went over his shoulders when she struggled, but he didn't know how much lower he could crouch down, mentally having his fingers crossed that he wouldn't have to carry her over his shoulder. attempting to assist, he tugs on her arms until she made it in one successful jump, giving him a flush of relief now that he got her securely in his hold, arms around her legs to make sure she wouldn't slip off. And so their not too short journey back to the exo dorm begins. he couldn't believe just how light she was though, not that he thought she'd be a problem for him to carry in the first place, but she really reminded him of someone out of a fairy tale, small in comparison, just the perfect size to fit on his back. why was he filled up with these thoughts? this night was really something; How you doing up there, shorty, still living and breathing? Think you can handle twenty minutes of this?

pcy: /it was like her body had finally caught up to her, exhaustion and fatigue hitting her all at once. she could feel herself drifting in and out of consciousness, catching a few words he threw at her and only managing to mumble a 'yeah' just to let him know she was still alive. he was warm, very warm and she couldn't help but snuggle closer to him, turning her head in toward the side of his face, nose brushing against his ear in an attempt to shield herself from the cool breeze. and there it was again, the scent that drew her in. she wasn't sure what exactly had possessed her to do so, but sure enough there she was pressing a small kiss to a small spot right below his ear shortly after whispering something along the lines of him smelling nice;

kji: /that yeah meant a more or less no he thought judging by the sound of her slurred and tired speech, so communication was definitely not going to work out and he didn't push it on her either, letting her have the rest she needs as he smiled to himself a little while caring this punk, in a way it actually helped him move faster on his feet, less distractions for his movements. He took all those thoughts back as soon as her warm breath tickled the skin of his neck, sending a shudder down the line of his spine, it didn't help that there was also a cool breeze adding onto that; Tch.. what's this punk doing.. /he mumbled to himself with a quiet scoff, attempting to take a quick peek back only to have his cheek brush against her warmer one, he wasn't aware of their proximity right up until this instant. 'Focus Jongin, it's the late hour so weird shit can pop into your head.. just bring the kid home and let her sleep'; Rose? /he was getting closer towards the building, and soon enough somehow managed to push past the doors, successfully making it into his room where, with a huff, he carefully has her slide off his back and onto the bed, dropping dead beside her as he takes in a breather, he'll definitely need sleep himself after this;

pcy: /when she had dozed off was a mystery in itself. it was clear she was defeated from the light snoring and unawareness of the fact that he had successfully navigated them both back home with her on his back. such a trooper. a small whine escaped her lips shortly after he'd dumped her on his bed. it was hot, painfully hot and her long hair sticking to her face and that stupid dress- none of that was helping her case and anyone could see it in the way her brows knitted together in discomfort; u g h- /she grunted, pulling at the collar of her dress. semi-annoyed with the stupid piece of fabric, she sat herself, jongin's presence still going unnoticed and struggled with the zipper in the back of her little black dress; liiiisssaaaa heeelpp meeeeeee.. /she whined softly, lips forming into a small pout, thinking she was back home safe and sound; i hate thissss-

kji: /he really just kept mumbling to himself not to fall asleep yet, since, thanks to his oh so kind nature towards his friend who got his bed for the night, planned on taking up the couch. Snapped out of his thoughts and his close to falling asleep state, her shifting on the bed caught his attention, turning his head just to see ... hold on, was she /undressing/ herself? that didn't bother him and that shouldn't bother him, right? Since she was pretty much a like a pain in the ass sibling so why in the heck did he just sat up, staring while not knowing what to do. 'Lisa'; Earth to Rose, if I look like Lisa to you right now you're just.. /he shook his head, half amused half panicky as his gaze fell over her collarbone, and the perfect dent it had, he didn't even take notice of how nicely this dress hugged around her body until now. No this was a mess. He whines and goes to grab one of his big shirts, throwing it over her head while he helped her unzip the back, forcing himself to look away while at it; You're really such a punk I can't even begin to tell you. Put this shirt on though... if you can even..

pcy: /after much struggle, she had successfully unzipped her dress halfway by the time his voice reached her ears, making her freeze. 'Wait a minute-' her head tilted slightly, brows knitting together more-so out of confusion than anything else. she doesn't recall Lisa's voice being /that/ low; Hey Lisa, are you sick or some- /and as she was turning around to ask about her member's well-being, something soft gets shoved in her face, obstructing her vision. her brow twitched in slight irritation and she deadpans into the piece of fabric; Yah- what the heck?? if you're going to be useful, at least /try/ to get the thing over my head? /rosé had mumbled some other things along the lines of how unfair lisa was treating a drunk person and such whilst throwing the shirt over her head. once she was successful in that she made a point to glare over her shoulder, though her features softened some when jongin's profile came into view, then- before she knew it her lips slowly curled into that impish little grin of hers; /oppa/...? are you /s i c k/..? your face.. it's awfully red.. /she pouted cutely as she said this, daringly guiding his face over to look at her with an index finger;

kji: /he only waited for the realisation that this wasn't her dorm nor the fact that Lisa suddenly turned into a man to hit her, if only he bothered with recording all these events to show her in the morning of what she was like - the thought cracked him up, he could just see her horrored expression followed by denial that it wasn't her; Yeah Rosé, just got a sore throat, all that alcohol didn't seem to be on my side today. /he rolled his eyes to himself, changing his pitch higher only to sound nothing like Lisa and more of a child that didnt hit puberty yet. Nose scrunched at the top, he blinked once her tone changed and words like 'oppa' left her lip. Oppa? Since when did she even?! And what did she mean by red?! Was he? It was true that he felt heat rising in to his face, mentally whining at her for even bringing that to his attention, and having no choice but to actually lock his gaze with hers, jongin does his best not to look affected by the proximity of their faces. Did he just hear a light thump in his chest? This was rose, a drunk rose at that too, yet here she was acting this cute in front of him. he lightly blows air at her face for distraction; You're the ones who's gonna be sick in the morning, and what girl starts undressing herself in front of a man?!

pcy: /after much struggle, she had successfully unzipped her dress halfway by the time his voice reached her ears, making her freeze. 'Wait a minute-' her head tilted slightly, brows knitting together more-so out of confusion than anything else. she doesn't recall Lisa's voice being /that/ low; Hey Lisa, are you sick or some- /and as she was turning around to ask about her member's well-being, something soft gets shoved in her face, obstructing her vision. her brow twitched in slight irritation and she deadpans into the piece of fabric; Yah- what the heck?? if you're going to be useful, at least /try/ to get the thing over my head? /rosé had mumbled some other things along the lines of how unfair lisa was treating a drunk person and such whilst throwing the shirt over her head.  once she was successful in that she made a point to glare over her shoulder, though her features softened some when jongin's profile came into view, then- before she knew it her lips slowly curled into that impish little grin of hers; /oppa/...? are you /s i c k/..? your face.. it's awfully red.. /she pouted cutely as she said this, daringly guiding his face over to look at her with an index finger;

kji: /he only waited for the realisation that this wasn't her dorm nor the fact that Lisa suddenly turned into a man to hit her, if only he bothered with recording all these events to show her in the morning of what she was like - the thought cracked him up, he could just see her horrored expression followed by denial that it wasn't her; Yeah Rosé, just got a sore throat, all that alcohol didn't seem to be on my side today. /he rolled his eyes to himself, changing his pitch higher only to sound nothing like Lisa and more of a child that didnt hit puberty yet. Nose scrunched at the top, he blinked once her tone changed and words like 'oppa' left her lip. Oppa? Since when did she even?! And what did she mean by red?! Was he? It was true that he felt heat rising in to his face, mentally whining at her for even bringing that to his attention, and having no choice but to actually lock his gaze with hers, jongin does his best not to look affected by the proximity of their faces. Did he just hear a light thump in his chest? This was rose, a drunk rose at that too, yet here she was acting this cute in front of him. he lightly blows air at her face for distraction; You're the ones who's gonna be sick in the morning, and what girl starts undressing herself in front of a man?!

pcy: /okay, she had to admit it, it even surprised her to find she /still/ had enough energy to tease him. crazy to think that just a second ago she was praying someone would knock her out with a freakin' brick; Well.. /she drew her hand back, eyes lowering to her lap, proceeding to fidget with the ends of his over-sized shirt as some sort of distraction while she spoke; to be fair- i didn't know i was with you? i just kinda assumed lisa had taken me home. she always looks after me when i drink past my limit. /she admitted with a small sigh, and that's when it hit her. why the hell was jongin in her room?; ..say- /her contacts must've fallen out at some point given how she was squinting in hopes her vision would become more clear. when it didn't she had no choice but to crawl towards him; -where...am.. i?

kji: /while she was taking her time figuring things out, his gaze so happened to just admire how attractive his shirt looked on her. She was practically drowning in it, it was true, it pretty much covered her thighs too, like a really short dress, one that he thought looked so much better than the one she just took off. here he was getting more distracted with unnecessary thoughts, thankful for her voice that brought him out of it; Pft, I knew I shouldve recorded that moment, can't believe you forgot everything that we went through earlier- Do you know how painful my back will get tomorrow for carrying you the whole way back? /he even made some displeased noises while placing one hand over the lower part of his spine while stretching it out, pretending it really did hit him hard. few seconds of having his eyes closed, he lets them flutter open just to see rose approaching him closer, and had to stop himself from leaning back out of a reaction, why was she crawling towards him in such a way? after clearing his throat, he sticks his index finger against her forehead to gently tilt her head back; You're in the darkest part of exo dorm, my room. Technically you could fit on the couch- but figured you'd complain about that in the morning.

pcy: /his facial features became more clear the closer she moved towards him. If her eyes weren't deceiving her, she could've sworn he looked somewhat flustered, but she wasn't sure why. Before she could confirm it, she was stopped, a small whine escaping her lips yet again; What is with you and forehead prodding i swear to freakin' god- /she complained, voice sounding whinnier than usual. His next words only added to the mess of things she was trying so hard to sort out; D...darkest..? /she didn't like anything that had to do with the dark. This she attributed to the many /many/ scary movies her older cousins had forced her to watch with them when they were younger. It didn't help that they'd locked her in an unfinished basement for a good two hours and forgot to come get her until her father had asked for her. To this day, she gets kinda antsy whenever she's stick in a pitch-black dark room or if she's near a basement, especially when alone; w-will you be there too..? /she whispered quietly, voice quivering somewhat as she hesitantly reached for his hand- any sort of contact that would reassure her that she'd be okay;

kji: /he had plenty more things to tease her over but something in him that switched off that side in him the second he saw the expression she had on her, and it looked like it was something a lot deeper than just a drunk girl saying things. he mentally cursed himself for throwing in that adjective since all he really meant was no one ever really went into his room who weren't close to him, it was always off limits to anyone else since he liked to keep at least that part of his life private and closed off. confusion twinkled in his eyes, getting startled by the touch of her hand which he lets her have a hold of, giving here a lighy squeeze; well, I didn't mean it in a literal way. my room is pretty lit, there's a small night light at the side if you want me to leave it on. Because I was uh- thinking of crashing on the couch. Since you know. Reasons. /why was he getting flustered and almost stuttering over his words, but it's not like his bed was that large in the first place, their proximity would be extreme and he doubts he'd be able to sleep calmly knowing that; You'll be fine rose, I promise. If anything, I'm just a door away.

pcy: /her eyes wandered over to the little nightlight in the corner that he spoke so fondly about, but even that wasn't enough to calm her nerves. She had already entered panic mode a few minutes prior. Her hand trembled in his as he continued to speak, worry-filled eyes meeting his, pleading him to stay, hand giving his another small squeeze for added effect. She knew she wasn't being fair asking him of this, especially when she hadn't done so before, but she was running out of options and would feel more at peace if he was there; J-jongin, please don't leave me alone..

kji: /little did he know about her fear, but her trembling hands said everything, at least enough for him to get concerned and push away any protest he had. And how could he say no when she pleaded like that? After taking in a small breath which didn't calm his inside at all, he places his other hand over her shaky one to give it a comforting rub and a squeeze, to silently say that he was with her. besides, he could always just stay until she fell asleep and then quietly leave her be in peace to go back to his original couch idea; I- Okay I'll be here. I promise. Till you fall asleep, lil punk. Get into bed though let's tuck you in alright? /lifting a hand he goes to slightly tussle her hair before reaching over to turn on the night light just for her, before going to lie next to her atop the duvet.

pcy: /he didn't really have to ask her twice, for she had already began crawling over to her side of the bed, silently taking note of how soft his comforter was. It was like she was laying on a fluffy white cloud. Rose pursed her lips in thought, contemplating whether It'd be appropriate for her to ask him if it's okay to cuddle, but in the end decided against it. Even in this state, she was somehow coherent enough to know that she shouldn't burden him any more than she had; So if I don't fall asleep, does that mean you'll be here until morning? /there was a playful lilt in those words that she delivered, eyes twinkling underneath the moonlight that poured in through his windows. She turned to her side and faced him, sliding both her hands underneath her head and sent a lazy smile his way;

kji: /one arm behind his head to create more comfort for himself, he turns his head to face her, wondering if he should turn to his side too but then a little flutter in his chest reminded him that it might not be one if his best ideas, settling on keeping with the position he lay in. hearing her words tugged a smile, followed by a breathy laugh, did she really want him to stay the whole night?; That's one way to cheat the system I guess. Only if you actually don't fall asleep, but I'll give it twenty minutes max before you konk out. /he forces his gaze away from the warmth of those dark orbs in grot of him, doing his best to focus on the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing he'd seen; I hope you're comfortable here, Rose since I know it's not your dorm, nor am I Lisa. /he said with amusement recalling back on how she thought the other girl was him.

pcy: Pfft.. twenty minutes max. /she repeated with a small roll of her eyes; Do you even know who /I/ am..? I'm slightly hurt you think so little of me. /she pouted, sarcastic, but was amused by his words nonetheless. Disliking how she was talking to his back, she daringly wiggled her way over to where he was and draped an arm over his side, resting her head against his back; I mean I will say you make a better substitute body pillow than lisa ever did. But don't tell her I said that. She might get jealous hehe~

kji: /there went that eyeroll again that cracked him up, although it wasnt as frequent as when rose was in a sober state, which was a shocker; Sometimes I question myself that too- stranger danger in my bed? my mom always told me to be careful. /he teased her, knowing well that she'd be able to tell it so by the playful tone in his voice. He swore, either this late hour made him softer towards her or could he still blame it on that one drink from earlier that would've wore off a good while ago? At the sudden feel of warmth against his back, his full lips shape an o in surprise, if only she knew what kind if challenges this was putting him through, he gulped and for the nth time pushed every unnecessary thought away, glad to be hidden, since her words placed an automatic soft smile; hah that so? You're making me want to brag about it. It's because I'm a natural heater isn't it? Though I've been told I'm not the softest to lay on.

pcy: /rosé slowly pulled away from him, deep frown carved into her features. for whatever reason his words bothered her some, striking a nerve. she wasn't sure if it was the alcohol talking or whatever but she heard herself say something along the lines of hoping he wouldn't randomly bring strangers home with him, but then again- why would it concern her anyways?" This she did not have the answer to. Not really sure what to do with these random emotions, she rolled onto her other side, back facing him so she wouldn't have to look at him; I take back everything I said about you being a good substitute pillow.. /she mumbled under her breath, pouting cutely. she didn't want to look at him, not with all these emotions running loose anyways; -Lisa still has you beat-

kji: /a frown formed on his features too because he got so used to her warmth just as he was comfortable settling down, why did she pull away all of a sudden, did he say something wrong? He barely caught onto the mumble just about making out what she murmured there, taking a slow moment for it to sink in. He cracked a grin, although he had no idea as to why that could've ever bothered her, not that he ever brings anyone around, to his room especially. One that was always off limits to anyone he didn't trust. But nonetheless drunk rose carried on with that cute nature of hers, he didn't even think upon it as he turned around this time to face her back, causually swinging his arm around her, targeting her cheek with his fingers; What's this- You mad Rose? Listen, there's a one and only 'no take backs' policy between us, you shouldve known that, so anything after that I'm completely deaf to. /he played around with her cheek as he props his chin onto her shoulder; You're lucky that I'm going to keep this promise and not tell Lisa. But that is a very shaky promise, you never know.

pcy: maybe if i close my eyes, /it/ will go away. /she muttered quietly to herself, ignoring the brush of his fingers against her cheek and even his breath against her skin. he was so damn close, but even so she remained calm and collected somehow, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge his existence. why she was being like this even she couldn't answer herself;

kji: What's the "it" You're talking about? /he quirks a brow confused as to what she meant but decided that this was probably a drunk talk to herself, he'd seen his members do it too just as they were about to sleep which half the time was nonsense that either scared him or made him laugh so loud it could've woken up the city. he shifts a little and rubs his chin on her shoulder while scrunching his nose; I swear, your drunk self confuses me more than sober rose does.

pcy: You, you idiot. /she mumbled softly, pouting a little. heck she doesn't even budge despite his cute attempts at trying to get a reaction some sort of reaction out of her. instead, she just kind of lies there like a limp rag doll. okay maybe not a rag doll, but there- breathing occasionally to let him know she was still alive;

kji: /his shoulders shook with silent laughter hearing her response before silence took over the room and all he could hear was her soft breathing, since she wasn't saying anything he wondered if that was his queue to sneak back and go with his original idea to sleep on the couch, he just assumed that she was falling asleep already and slowly propped himself up, beginning to slide off the bed;

pcy: /before he could move away completely, she had rolled around quick enough to grab onto his arm, eyes practically pleading him to stay; don't go. /this was all she was able to say and realization soon hit fhat she technically couldnt /force/ him to, so her grip on his arm slowly loosened; ah- nevedmind. goodnight oppa.

kji: /he saw the look in her eyes when he turned around just upon her touch, maybe he should just scribble out the whole couch idea, it's not like he /actually/ wanted to leave. for the very reason of the couch not being comfortable enough - of course, clearly. his back meets the bed sheets again as he falls down and places a hand on her arm. besides he didn't have the heart to leave her in an unfamiliar place all by herself; the things I do for you, Im gonna expect free ice cream and waffles for the next week. But hey..you can sleep in peace rose, I might just stay here for the night. I don't want to wake up with an even more painful back. /he made sure to emphasise that reason too, clearing his throat before growing quiet again;

pcy: /a huge wave of exhaustion hit her in that moment, eyelids growing heavy the second she'd turned away from him. tired eyes met his and as much as she would've liked to banter with him some more, she couldn't find the energy to argue and so she simply mumbled a 'sure, anything for you.' before her consciousness slowly slipped away;

kji: /he leaned over a little just to peek and make sure that she actually finally fell asleep, trying to calculate whether his prediction of her falling asleep before twenty minutes were up was true. but as he did so, he couldn't help but notice how peaceful and soft she looked when she slept like that, extremely carefully moving some hair out of her face before settling down himself. the whole night ran through his mind in circles, from the club, to walking home, till now. what a night, he thought to himself softy sighing, and in some way it distracted his mind from the fact that they were sleeping in the same bed, and slowly dozed off as tiredness flushed over, having his slowly give in to the heaviness of his eyelids. closer to the morning, he half woke up as it felt far too warm in the room, his barely awake self with a whine dragged his shirt off, throwing it aside before falling back asleep seconds later;

pcy: /the sounds of birds chirping obnoxiously near the window beside her was enough to stir her awake. slowly, but surely her eyelids fluttered open, eyes squinting hard at the harsh sunlight that seeped through the blinds. disgruntled noises left her lips as she pulled the covers over her head, blocking out any light that threatened to reach her. in the midst of all of her shifting and need to soak in all of this warmth, she found herself bumping into something hard.. and warm.. boy did this wake her up, eyes snapping wide-open; the fuck..? /she muttered under her breath, carefully nudging the unknown "thing" with her toe. ugh- something in the pit of her stomach told her this wasn't good.. not at all. rose bit her bottom lip and dared herself to turn and look at said thing, and what she saw- she was not prepared for in the slightest. skin... a nice set of abs.. ones that did not belong to her. her eyes trailed up the body and found the sleeping face of the kim jongin. kim fucking jongin. 'no no no no' she had to be dreaming right? rosé flipped the covers off of her head and scanned the entire room- it looked foreign to her. it didn't even /look/ like her room, far too masculine to be hers. however, the one thing in this room that looked vaguely familiar was a a particular piece of fabric that lie at the foot of the bed. rosé bit the inside of her cheek and lowered her eyes to find that she was no longer wearing said dress she had been wearing from the night before, but was instead dressed in an oversized shirt that smelled an awful lot like kai. running a hand through her dark brown hair, she could only guess what had happened and it made her kinda sick to her stomach. the longer she sat here, the more muddled her thoughts began and suddenly it became somewhat difficult to breath, and so she very carefully slide off of his bed, collected her dress in her hands and tip-toed out of his room and dialed for jennie's number knowing she'd help her find her way back;

- fin ** read other kairose stories under kairose drabbles to find more "sequel-like” stories about them.

[chipsahoyforyaboi]

My first guild application at 13..

1. Name/Character name "Example" Brian, aka Nudist

 Taylor, aka Tyrrlin

2. Age

 13

3. Sex

 Female, im a girl

4. Current/Home Servers

 Eredar

5. Do you have any alts? If so, list them here.

A  Tyrlinne 85 frost dk

A Drizzie 85 survival hunter

A Tialii 85 disc priest

 H Nazuglo 85 fire mage

A Kixaria 78 prot warrior

A Zeldinkara 62 sub rogue

A Supercute 30 ret pally

6. When did you start playing?

 bc, i played on your account lol

7. Do you PvP/like to do so?

 Yes, I pvp all the time, i suck though, its fun when you win <333

8. What content have you experienced?

 Dragon Soul 6/8 heroic

9. What can you bring to Game Over?

 Boss ass dps

10. What is your overall philosophy on raiding?

Raiding is fun, but not when people are derps

11.Please acknowledge that we dont tolerate babies loot whores drama queens or any other varied attention whore within guild.

 Im an attention whore

12. What do you do in order to prepare for a raid/raid night?

 I SOMETIMES look up the fight, but i always have pots, and a back up flask

13. What are your feelings on reforging/enchanting/regemming/respecing for raid benefit half-way through a run? ( please acknowledge the fact you might need to do so depending on class/needs )

 If its for the raid, im down

14. Do you have any real life/ In-game friends on wow?

 Alot of guildies are my friends, no none of my friends play WoW that im aware of

15. Tell us a little about yourself that this application hasn't covered.

 Im super duper annoying

16. What are your plans for leveling/raiding in MOP?

 I will probably play, but not as much as i am playing now during cata

17. What is your exact current DS experience?

 6/8 heroic :D

18. Is the character your applying to your main? If not currently list previous alt-main swaps.

 Yes Tyrrlin is my main

19. Do you do RBG'S in any form? Do you do arenas ( serperate from general pvp )

 I would like to but no one wants a 13 year old girl to pvp

20. What kind of raid attendence do you keep? (With a more casual raiding schedule, we expect good attendence, however acknowledge the fact that real life happens, and unexplained weeks away from the game do as well, all that is asked is to be let known in some way shape or form if you're going to be on hiatis, or late/missing to a raid or raids ).   I have shown up late a few times, but never missed a raid 

21. Do you have Ventrilo?

 Yep

22. What are your computers specs?

 idk its your computer silly

23. Our raid times are Tue/Thurs 7:30-12:00 EST, please acknowledge your capability to make times, as well as the fact you're aware due to our casual schedule higher attendence is a must.

 I can attend, you could break my legs irl if i didn't show xD

24. If your computer was to break mid-raid night during progression, what would your reaction/solution be?

 I'd be like OMG WTF, then i'd let you know its broke, and try to get it fixed that night or before next raid

25. What methods of contacting you are available?

 I live with you, ummm yeah...

26. Do you play any other games aside from WoW?

 Xbox and Gamecube, no other online games, i would like to play LoL again

27. What is your view on hardcore progression nights?

 We get down 1 or more bosses we didn't have down before,

28. If needed or asked to prepare to a higher degree on a raid night, What is your solution?

 Go over numbers, get my flasks/pots ready, and try my best :)

29. What forms of theorycrafting do you use? ( Where and how do you determine what your top spec, geming, reforging, and overall class perspectives are? )

 I confer with my officer "Minilok" and i also know alot of my base stats, Spec i did what seemed best, and i seem to know a bit about my class :)

30. Please Understand, all the crying and whining from people gkicked from Game Over aside, we're a family and like to keep it that way, and the mentality of this being your home is as important for anyone coming in, as it is to feel welcome and wanted after being invited.

There are assholes where ever you go, and some people don't understand that, but most people i get along well with

31. Our trial period in-game is 2 weeks. What are you used to?

 I've never raided with anyone else ;)

32. Do you have any leadership experience?

 I lead some 5 man regular pvp bgs sometimes

33. Do you stand in fire?

 Not going to lie, i have in the past. Its down to about 1/10 times now though :D

34. If asked to sit on a progression fight due to one reason or another ( generally being lack of dps or a required certain spec/class to ease a situation ) what is your reaction?

 Okay, thats fine, shit happens ^.^

35. How do you take criticism?

 I don't take it well, but i know its needed so i get over it

36. Are you thin skinned? our vent is comprised of cock and fart jokes often, and can have the competitive feel, its not uncommon to be direct when talking to someone having a hard time on content to figure out what the issue might be, while it doesnt go as far as generally insulting the person, it definately will question a significant issue if the content is destroying said persons capability to do the fight.

I can take a joke and im not too thin skinned anymore

37. Nudist does yell if someone dies repeatedly to something stupid, how do you feel about this?

 They shouldn't die to the same thing over and over, 1 time oh okay it happens, 2 times umm okay?, 3 wtf

38. Do you use keybinds?

 Not really

39. What do you keybind?

 Just have the normal spells that are dots and incinerate for my rotation

40. Give us a screenshot of your UI.

 You can lean over and look at my screen lol

41. What key mods do you use to your game?

 idk what that means ^

42. With everything said and done with this application, is there anything you'd like to add?

 Im already in the guild but i feel we should have an archive of guild apps, so i'd like to be the first to submit

43. Angedechu is NOT a jedi, although mentally he could possibly be one. Are you a jedi?

L M F A O  Angedechu can do anything if he says "I CAN DO EEEET" <3 lmfao love you ange, and yes im a super jedi, no im not i've never see the start wars movies

[wavemaker9]

re the latest reveal about cloned bodies for teh xover

There was a post that kind of addressed the idea of each of the boys dying various times + that static portion of each of their lives, i’m linking here. Basically how even though it’s only focussing on magnus atm, it’s likely all the boys were/are liches due to their all dying in different ways and they’ve each had new bodies created for them over time like barry as tehy all die either on their own or together when the world ends. Relistening, i heard barry says that he just found the item a few years ago and says he's been using it to bring himself back instead of framing it like he’s used it for all of them. though it could also be a different method used in the past and/or griffin trying to keep that the others have used it/items similar to it low key atm, justified maybe in barry knowing he’d have to explain more shit if he used ‘we’. Idk it might be handled later in a different way but it all works better for what i want it to with this implication so that’s the theory i’m following until contradicted. i mean with the shit covered below it could be that way because it wasn’t used in this world on any of them anyway. just. also kyle.

basically like i kind of really like this because it should make things easier for the xover. i’d mentioned previously, it was trouble for kyle because he’s younger than the youngest of the group by ~10 (now ~20) years at the time of the current story’s events. The static was set in a part of their lives where kyle’d be in his super early teens or so I think? Maybe preteens. Hold on lemme see if i wrote it down in my prev notes. Wow, okay 12 years. He was 20 at the time of the seeing that, just turned after crystal kingdom arc, so he’d be about 8 with that logic? Around there at least. No way is he doing whatever. But basically, because of the way the static and them likely being all liches who keep getting into new bodies would be handled, kyle wouldn't /have/ to have started out on his own the same 12 years ago the others did. If barry died early on accident and then has to restart now back at the previous age, why couldn’t that happen to the others too. Like actually with that logic, it wouldn’t be 12 years back that the static occurs for kyle when the cup is reviewing his memories. Maybe only a couple/few years back at max. Because we know the sizzle it up shit happened in this world since people acknowledge it and merle’s kids were in that range too, hold on. Okay mavis was 12 years old but she wasn’t his blood kid, only mookie was who is portrayed as younger, so that still checks more or less. And i don’t remember an exact year for the revolution and then fall of raven’s roost but i’m 90% sure it was in the 12 year range too, especially if magnus is only 32 by the suffering game, no way he was younger than 19-20 doing that revolution shit. So that all tracks, everything that affects this world explicitly happened in that 12 year range and anything before that is less concrete on where it was and who was involved with it.

Because assuming anything prior to the static is automatically on another world/plane, that’s a lotta shit that’s going to need to be reworked in kyle’s bg for this to make it work. I think for kyle it’ll be right after he ran away, so I might work ria later to be after that and per his memories it was almost right after he ran away but there was the time of the static between them, mainly because i did have her as the reason he can get the magical items as he needs to as gifts in this world plus i’d like him to meet her again and be able to keep her memory in his head again. Old ones still gone, but he can keep the new ones. Have to remove her having heard about the news of what happened to his sibling and being aware of that when he shows up, but i might like that more. Young teen kyle suspicious of this woman who seems to not be suspicious of him despite how close her town is to his and how the whole town knew what he did. I can also still have him viewing this town selbra as his hometown even if it wasn’t actually his home town. Also have to adjust because i did say on his second visit back home was when he lost track of his parents and both visits were going to be some time after leaving, but could remove first one or maybe make it very recent, sees he’s not really missed or anything, gets all upset and angry and reckless which leads him to eventually trying to work his way into this group even while still relatively young (if the BOB lets in 11 yr olds, the IPRE could let in a very determined teenager is all i’m saying, he’d only be 15-16 range probably when starting? i have to work out what would be best as we get more info). Then when he goes back home later, he goes to where he expects to see his house and family and they’re not there because they never were there, that was some other place entirely. I was gonna have dark be pre-static but he was after ria and within a couple years recent. Also i’ll get into this later but i’ll probably make him even more recent. Man i feel like i should be mad having to rework so much stuff but i’m honestly real excited, this is interesting to do to make it work with this new idea i have and since the new idea makes other shit work i’m super happy about this, it’s chill.

So everyone got bodies on this plane at the same time 12 years ago to start the plan, and kyle started at a 17-18 year range (Another age thing I still have to figure out what the best age for that would be), with the plan being that he’d be 29-30 by the time shit kicked in, only a little younger than magnus would be excluding the sacrifice. But it’s kyle. Barry’s not the only one who’s stubborn. Kyle is stubborn and reckless and self sacrificial and if he loses all memories post a couple years after running away, he’s going to def go back to that and just. Just be that reckless ‘who cares if i live or die’ sort of person. That’s where he was at when he met the boys and part of that was on dark, but it wasn’t a far leap for his brain to get there and he’d likely been tehre or similar before meeting dark too. It’d get less so as he gets older but he doesn’t really chill out as a person until mid-30s and later, so basically kyle living his standardly reckless life and absolutely ending up dying before able to meet the other boys at the bar or whatever. A year or so before probably, since it’s about another year or so between here there be gerblins and crystal kingdom and i want at least about 2-3 years for darkness shit and some time before/after that. He dies and needs to get a new body cloned so starts back out at young late-teens age which isn’t ideal but there isn’t much that can be done.

On top of that, can use his friendship with dark for plot shit. Him dying in time where he could be cloned again in time to meet the bar works out, it’s probably cutting it close, but he’s set up to do it and then fucking just like everything else in every other au, doug fucking ruins it. I’m basically moving up the time frame a bit so that it’s much less time between when he loses dark and finds the boys, maybe only a month or so instead of a full year. all it’d do is make him more desperate for replacement friends. Bit more vulnerable to better explain him putting up with a lot of weird shit and these three morally-gray assholes because it gives him something to do and be heroic at while having friends and a place to stay that will temporarily be his. Still more or less a year though when he meets dark, and basically the plan was still him making it to the bar like the others, but he ran into dark a little before that instead. Maybe tries to steal from him so he sees kyle’s useful for that or genuinely just runs into him bumping style and that gets them talking until kyle shows off what skills he has another way. Maybe both, bumping into people /is/ a standard pickpocket trick. Whatever reason he’d have originally, i don’t think that would change, i just don’t think i gave a reason they stuck together yet. I. love the idea of Kyle stealing from him, take that doug you ass. You’ve stolen all of kyle’s self confidence in every au you’re in but this one time around kyle stole your wallet first! Anyway, some sort of plot convenience happens and dark talks kyle into joining him, probably guilting/blackmailing him into it or just basic manipulation, dark’s got a lot of ways to manipulate him. If the bar storyline for their history is still canon,they don’t explain how they all knew went at the right time besides barry planning some shit, but i imagine whatever it is, kyle wouldn’t trust it. If he doesn’t remember the reason he needs to do this thing himself, how can he be sure it’s legit. Sticks with dark for a while as with before before splitting and ending up in the bar that leads him to the job that leads him to meeting the boys. Thus the 12 years not needing to be adjusted i don’t think, but kyle not being one of the red robe group people while he was 8 years old.

Also kyle wouldn’t be too much younger than magnus would have to have started at, but i like him very insistent that even if they can clone him older at any point, if they can not, they don’t. Kyle low-key hates the thought of being old, he’d accept it once he was there past his 50s and later, but as a youngun, and an energetic and good looking one at that, the idea is a hard eugh. he wants to stay young. It’s part of the reason he’s so comfortable with expecting to die at a young age. Not only the bad self esteem and (in this au) missing his dead family, but like. Everything anyone hears about aging is how much it sucks. you don’t look as good, you can’t do as much, you’re much more fragile. Why would he want that? What’s the pro of that??? If he dies before he’s 30 or 40 he never has to deal with that and that’s not a bad trade off, yeah? (disclaimer: prolly nah) so like in this au if he can control how his body is cloned, like needing to update whatever dna or whatever it’s being cloned from if you want to end up being older, him not. Doing that, again, even when given teh chance to. Depending on how much you remember, there’s likely no pro like keeping levels you’ve gained. You’re just older at your start next time, closer to going gray and all the oher shit. He accidentally made it to 34 once before he died and was very upset about that. all i’m saying is that this has become twilight now because when someone asks kyle how long he’s been 19/20 (not continuously though) he can accurately say “a while” which is literally all i’ve ever wanted. I already mentioned how kyle is perpetually 19 in my head, like i literally can’t picture him as older because he resists the idea of growing old and maturing so much, so this is perfect.

Again, i’m really kinda happy with this. Still not perfect but def better. I was learning to just accept he would be outside the group and him being able to resist the relics wouldn’t be able to be explained like it likely would with the others, but this works so much more smoothly into the story, i am very glad for this idea. Thank god griffin just really wanted to bring barry back for the fans.

The only /real/ downside is it cuts out the kyle & taako exchange “I could have gone to one of your shows when I was really young but like. Stealing, mate.” “No, no, I get you, my dude.” because i really loved that. Taako wasn’t doing the shows more recently than 5-6 years ago if memories serves so that may have happened but kyle wouldn’t remember it. Alternatively, now that i think about it, i do love the idea of taako’s being famous brought up a number of times and kyle really just. Does not remember ever seeing it. Might have heard it in passing but never saw any actual shows advertised or anything like that. Kinda thoguht it was like a fucking. Fantasy world version of the candle cove or whatever situation where everyone just imagined these shows happened until actually meeting taako. Still isn’t 100% sure. I do kind of like that, just because i think that’d get >( fast for taako considering how much he values his fame. What fucking rock did kyle live under where he never even heard of taako’s show until recent years? His home town is a ways away but not that fucking far, cmon my dude. Taako knows human ages are weird but like. Kyle’s not that young right? How old are you again? 20? No, you have to have heard of it, what the fuck?

(ALSO. Barry seems to be the one in charge of how shit rolls since he has the coin thing. I mean, none of the other boys got coins telling them what to do, right? A stray thought was what if he was the only one who knew enough to handle the cloning shit so lich kyle interfering in some way or another to lead barry to dying early to get his help. I have no idea how and there’s no real reason for only barry knowing how at this point, but i like kyle being that asshole.)

[tueeeeeee]

i saw a writing meme abt a ship in various prompts and immediately applied it to shenzed lol some of the scenarios are in the past and entertain a lot of my personal headcanons. like this is basically just a masterpost of my headcanons

wordcount: 4k, not explicit but pretty nsfw

topics: fake dating, bodyswap, sexpollen, secret kinks, first kiss, au, dark fic, and a sick ass crossover with mkx

cw age gap, noncon, yandere zed

Fake dating: as students, shen would try so hard to prioritize the mission, which is good because zed has it running secondary to making sure their relationship is believable as possible. of course that involves throwing himself all over shen and demanding shen make ridiculous sounds in private because they're listening in, shen, give them a show, make it convincing, and shen even knows zed is just taking advantage of the situation but he's too committed to the job to turn him down in public and risk the facade, so he just rolls along with it and smiles lovingly at zed and that's actually worse because zed starts getting the mad dokis

if it's after the fall and they have to work together again, it'd probably be while they're hunting jhin and they actually have to fake that they're NOT dating. they're in disguises but shen the bara giant is pretty hard to not notice, so he's just sitting there trying to be all you know. ah it's just me, a farmer, completely single and alone, my boyfriend is totally not hiding in the shadows ready to fuck u up. or zed gets caught out alone and shen comes to the rescue a la mimi's beautiful amazing comic and "my boyfriend's back and ur gonna get in trouble" is just blasting in the bg

Bodyswap: if this is during their student days, they'd actually probably have a lot of fun with it. zed likes being able to look at himself from different angles and shen secretly likes it too until zed goes in front of a mirror and starts making expressions just to see what shen's face looks like when he's really surprised! or what he looks like when he's picking his nose, or sticking out his tongue, and shen is just desperately covering zed's face and begging him to stop making those faces while he’s in shen’s body and please don't do that in front of other people

zed doesn't do it front of other people because he wants to be the only one who knows what it looks like, of course, and when he's alone, he tries on other expressions. he wants to see what shen looks like when he's happy, and smiling, and laughing, and it feels forced in front of the mirror but seeing it makes his heart flutter anyways. wanting to see what shen looks like when he's happy quickly turns into wanting to see what shen looks like when he's horny and then zed just straight up masturbates in front of the mirror. thanks zed.

anyway shen plays with himself too but he tries not to at first, he's better than that, this is so wrong and zed is going to kill him – until he remembers zed would definitely and has probably already taken advantage of this and then he just touches himself everywhere to see if this area is something he likes or if it's just a particularly sensitive area on zed's body (which is knowledge he's gleaning just for the sake of knowledge, of course, n-not like he's planning on utilizing it or anything...)

while they were students shen almost exclusively topped since "the son of the headmaster shouldn't be on his knees" so later when zed convinces shen into playing around it's an absolute delight for zed to get to be the pitcher for once, even if he's basically fucking his own body. shen agrees just because he doesn't want to have to look at himself, and besides zed's body is already used to it so shen willingly bottoms and being the repressed little sub he is he just fucking loses it and breathlessly asks zed afterwards with tears in his eyes, "are you always that sensitive?" and zed is like ??? not enough to fuckin cry about it and thats how shen discovers he likes taking it up the bum

if it's after the fall of the kinkou they'd probably just try to experiment with each other's abilities, then realize that even though they have access to them they can't really harness the power the same way. like zed's clones are sentient, and when shen finally manages to make one it just stares back at him for a while and then starts laughing uncontrollably, "i thought something was odd. now how did this happen?" and shen is unamused and more than a little flustered at being made to feel incompetent when he can't control the shadow and it just keeps laughing at him in zed's voice. 

meanwhile zed is excited to finally be able to see the spirits the way shen does, and he tries to walk the spirit realm and teleport and kind of just ends up concentrating himself into an aneurysm because he can't fucking figure it out and does the Old Man Yells At Cloud thing when he tries to talk to the spirits to get them to help him understand. they don't give a fuck about shen half the time so unsurprisingly, they don't pay any attention to zed either. also, zed would still masturbate in front of a mirror, except he does it furiously in this case

god im sorry that was so long but i just. i love the bodyswap trope so much o(-<

Sexpollen/fuck or die/aliens made them do it: as students, pretty much everything between them has to be a competition so it's a battle of wills to not jump each other and zed tries to goad shen on by playing up but being that close to each other just makes it worse. zed devolves into pretty much just clinging onto shen and begging him to please give in

shen doesn't want any of it, not when they're being made to feel that way, but zed insists that it isn't making him feel anything, not anything different from usual anyway. so shen brings him off with sympathetic intentions at first, and gently pushes zed's hands away whenever he tries to reciprocate, but watching zed come undone affects him more than he expected it to. zed said it isn't any different from usual but it is, zed isn't normally this pliant and desperate, and he doesn't usually call shen's name so sweetly and sometimes zed will outright make shen fight to get zed beneath him, but now, zed yields to him so easily and that should be evidence of how wrong this is but shen is so utterly captivated with this eager zed that he gives in and gives him the good dickin. he's super disappointed with himself later while zed is just smiling dopily, completely satisfied

fuck or die after the fallout would be rough hate-filled sex, zed pushing shen's face into the dirt and forcing him because it's easier that way. shen bitterly spits out that he'd rather die than touch zed, and zed only laughs because they both know that's a lie. if it were anyone else shen would 100% approach this with his usual pragmatism but it's zed and he hates being made to lose control like this, and of course zed won't just get it over with. he takes his pleasure and then leaves shen tied down and makes sure to work shen slowly and coax him with disgusting gentleness into climax, making it good for him and shen hates every second. he doesn't do anything like try to make shen beg because that shit would go nowhere fast, and afterwards zed is just completely smug with himself and shen hates him more than ever

Secret kinks: zed loves body odor which is really fucking unfortunate because shen reeks of it after the hours he spends training, and he probably knows it bc why else would he have his dirty clothes so conveniently left out like that for zed to furiously wank into while grumbling stupid sexy stinky shen

he has a bored and ignored kink too, but he's too fucking needy for it to ever take place out of his control so he has to specifically negotiate with shen to not pay attention to him during a scene, like zed showing off his bod or blowing shen while shen's just trying to read as long as they're 100% clear that shen has to make up for it later

he probably tries to convince shen to pee himself at least once but gets kinkshamed to death and never tries again. he also loves shen's hands/wrists and being praised. like ok, shen likes being praised too right? he'll glow and be intensely pleased and would fit that indulgent kind of "good boy!! you like pleasing me don't you" praise kink but zed's is like a fucking id-tagged collar in which only shen can hold the leash. shen gives him a passing glance and a murmured, "well done" while zed's just like sweeping and zed will somehow always be sweeping somewhere shen can see for the next five days, with a boner. you know what i mean??

anyway shen is the most repressed fucker out there so he THINKS he's vanilla but shen's definition of vanilla is very. i mean. he regularly undergoes resistance training and mindfuckery so you could tie him up and CBT him and he'd still just be like ah good ol vanilla sex. a lot of the kinks he has he isn't really even aware of having. shen doesn't know what he likes a lot of the time, in and out of bed. he spent his entire life being dictated, and it isn't until after zed gets rid of all the people who did that to him that he's forced to consider more deeply about himself

and of course he immediately finds that he likes being dominated and having someone else take control, even if they completely fuck him up in the process. he likes being collared and humiliated but he doesn't like his position as the eye of twilight being brought into it so shit like "look how far the eye has fallen" isn't gonna fly.

even so he's a bit of an exhibitionist. it's probably a carry-over from his student days when being caught was a definite possibility in a household full of ninja, so he likes the rush of doing it outside, especially since it also has the benefits of being rougher and quicker and there being no time for nonsense or softness

the concept of aftercare is a foreign one. the first time zed tries to administer it shen is repulsed and probably tries to escape but he can't get away from zeds sweet sweet embrace. he doesn't ever get used to it, not from zed the two-faced snake, and for good reason honestly. zed's brand of tenderness is kind of saccharine and condescending, and all too often he whispers secrets as if shen cares at all that zed used to love him, or that zed is glad he's here now, or that zed doesn't want to hurt him. really, he doesn't care. at all. not a bit.

also he tries to keep it secret that he loves getting dicked by zed's clones but it's pretty obvious. zed hates it because he gets jealous of himself but he absolutely loves all of shen's other kinks since he thinks shen would never trust someone other than zed to do those things to him

Their first kiss: shen was definitely the one who had to initiate it!! zed would have been fine with just pining after shen his entire life (not really), because he sure as hell wasn't going to give shen another point in his favor by letting him know that zed had F-FEELINGS FOR HIM... regardless it's still obvious as fuck to everybody, including shen, who kind of takes it in stride because let's be real shen was probably the target of numerous an unrequited crush in his life.

shen thinks he's doing a good job handling zeds emotions, letting him down gently without making it obvious he knows zed likes him, and it comes so naturally to him because hes so used to doing it that he doesn't even stop to think that maybe he actually kind of looks forward to zed's not-so-subtle attempts to spend more time together?? maybe he actually kind of wants to hold his hand?? maybe he's actually a raging homosexual?????

so the kiss would happen after a really tough mission that they just barely scraped through together, and shen's just so happy that they're both alive and safe that he gives zed a big ol smooch. obviously zed's not-so-subtle attempts become outright overt now that he knows it's mutual (even if shen keeps embarrassedly trying to convince him it's not)

likewise, their first kiss after they start working together to hunt jhin would also be shen calling it. zed's older now and not as angry and petulant. their history and ties are so intensely and irrevocably woven together that he just kind of dully accepts that a little part of him will always love shen, right next to the part that will always resent him. because of that he doesn't want to ruin this tentative (and probably temporary) truce they've got going on, even though he's unexpectedly thrilled to have shen by his side again and he's dying to ask whether stick-up-his-ass prudish shen has bedded anyone else in the past five years

shen's kind of not really in the same boat bc the power dynamic is mostly in his favor and it's zed who has to watch his footing, but shen has never had an equal like zed before or since. he can see that zed's changed, but he's also remained the same in the ways that matter and not all of them matter in a good way. for one, he still doesn't see reason in balance, and shen argues that zed himself is contributing to the power balance by foiling shen and zed absolutely hates that because he doesn't want to sustain a war between their clans just for the sake of shen's notion of equilibrium.

shen feels duty-bound and obligated to his clan to you know, not consort with the enemy, but he's also aware of the intrinsic connection he has with zed and how they're naturally drawn together. and it could be something as tiny as a bad dream or getting caught in the rain or meeting eyes when they've both just awoken, and shen acknowledges the inevitability of it and just kisses him

anyways when!! will riot give me my jhin lore follow-up!!

A crossover of my choice: the events of ninja gaiden could fit seamlessly right into ionia but there's pretty much no way im picking it over a mortal kombat crossover.... yall know how much my ass loves mkx

anyway quan chi has manipulated pretty much every one and thing in existence so it's not at all surprising that he was the one who brought into existence the scroll of shadows that corrupts zed and instills in him a thirst for power so great it drives him to destroy the kinkou. zed's death animation where he opens a portal? actually just to get back to netherrealm. quan chi sees him and just sighs again, really? and restores him and sends him back up

also ok. i know thematically shen has a lot in common with subzero but think of raiden and shen..... raiden was probably bosom buddies with master kusho, they regularly convened to discuss the state of earthrealm and shen got to inherit that friendship and trust!! raiden guides him and tells him how to purify zed, which leads him into scorpion and subzeros path since at this point they're revenants too. afterwards shen holds the recovery club for "I Was Under Quan Chi's Control" but only hanzo and kuai liang are invited

after all zed still has his entire fucking order of shadows which were forged under quan chi's ideals, and just like how hanzo still resents the massacre of his clan zed still resents the kinkou--that wasn't something that was instilled into him through quan chi's control. so basically everyone hates zed still. bye zed

i had fatalities for shen and zed written out too but....... i dont want to talk abt it here since it's obviously gorey and honestly embarrassing to talk about lmao!!! NEXT

An AU of my choice: i love my bloodborne AU so much but it's too detailed and involves more than just sz so i'll settle for another one about time shenanigans

shen tries to bypass zed's whole crawling into a shadow portal and escaping death thing by sealing him away in a time loop, but when the dust settles something's obviously gone wrong. there's a body laying there and shen picks him up and carries him inside and no one can really believe it, but the old kinkou veterans were raised next to that face and they know what zed looked like in his youth.

he's ten years younger, before the order of shadows and before the golden demon, and he hasn't just been aged down but swapped places entirely because he knows fuck all about what's going on. akali wants to kill him before he can fuck everything up but agrees that'd mess with too much other shit, kennen is so so sad and tries the hardest to make zed feel at home even though he and zed were never particularly close, and shen keeps his distance as best he can manage. he doesn't want to look at this zed when all it makes him think about is how things should have been

young zed feels confused and alone as fuck in this future timeline. so many members of the kinkou are foreign to him and the familiar ones are made of bitter implications and no one tells him outright why he's being ostracized, shen is never at the temple and when he is he's holed away. zed has to practically ambush him just to find out shen's already gone to pay zilean a visit to work out what's gone wrong, and all zilean told him was that he needed to find where the feedback came from that switched the zeds

eventually someone tries to assassinate zed as a preventative measure and shen realizes it's not safe for him at the kinkou monastery, so he takes zed with him on his journey to find the zero point and angst happens as they measure each other up to the versions of themselves they're familiar with--present shen is discomfited by how naive past zed is, past zed can't believe how much bigger the stick up shen's ass got, but after he learns what his future self did he can't imagine ever hating shen enough to do that to him. queue lots of bonding, slow burn, shen waffling and acting under a LOT of pretenses because he doesnt want to take advantage of this younger zed, who sees him as a mentor

meanwhile present zed wakes up in his old room and thinks he's trapped in a memory, and confirms it the only way he knows how. he sneaks into shen's room and is completely delighted upon finding a young shen who's much too interactive to be just a memory, and quickly works out what's​ happened. the thought of killing shen doesn't even cross his mind, not when shen barely presents a challenge like this. rather, he finds himself appreciating the change in their dynamics now that the power balance is tipped in zed's favor.

he goes on his own trip to find zilean and tells shen to stay here and give master kusho an excuse as to why zed is gone. instead, zed vanishes off away from the monastery and, twenty minutes later, has to make himself detectable just so shen can find him properly from where he's followed zed to.

zed secretly wanted this to happen and gladly takes the young shen under his wing. obviously he doesn't tell him why zed's eyes are red or his hair is white or why sometimes he'll completely disappear in the shadows. eventually he coaxes shen into bed and fucks him, which is something shen never allowed him in his time, and the sensations of it are transmitted to future shen through his dreams and he wakes up feeling phantom sensations of zed holding him and eventually the present sz discover they have a very rudimentary means of communicating through their past selves via sex dreams/strong emotions lol

the juxtaposition between present shen and zed would have been explored, because even though at a glance, shen sticks to his lawfulness and zed immorally takes advantage of the power imbalance, when they each discover that they receive the feelings of their past selves, zed treats past shen tenderly and tries to make him softer.... whispers the things he needs to remember, in the hopes that present shen will hear them and meet him halfway so that they can fix the timeline (and also meet him halfway feelings-wise 83c) whereas shen fights the young past zed and humiliates him, trains him even though logic tells him he shouldn't, treats zed the way the kinkou treated him, and all the feelings conveyed to present zed are ones of bitterness until it reaches a head and past zed snaps at him and almost dies. after that shen realizes that in lieu of master kusho distancing zed from the clan, shen is now the one doing that, when he should be taking this as an opportunity to fix the future and set things right between them.

just like present shen is forced to confront things about himself though, so is present zed. his feelings of "haha past shen was such a puppy" turn into slow realizations of why he loved shen in the first place. he thought, all this time, it was just because he was attracted to power and back then, shen had had it in abundance. but now, he can destroy shen any time he wishes and yet... it just makes him regret even more how things ended up the way they did, and he tries to give vague hints to past shen about things to avoid, and to remember to take care of himself and master kusho.

anyways it turns out the whole thing was engineered by zilean because he sees all timelines and he wants one where there isn't a fucking war between the shadows and the kinkou

ok i put this one at the bottom just bc it's yandere zed and it's pretty fucked and does get pretty graphic

tw mind control, brief ableism, amputation, lobotomy

Dark!fic: all of zed's students knows of his fixation on shen. by now everyone's used to those brief intense moments where he'll waft smog from his body just thinking about shen nd cursing his existence but none of them really know the full extent of it. it's not just zed, but the shadows as well, and they've wanted shen for such a long time, especially after kusho sealed them away. to take control of shen would be the first step to controlling two worlds after all, but instead, after all their pining, it's zed who comes along and they don't care about him but its their first opportunity in years, and they can sense the frustration and mutability in him so with no other option they decide he'll do

but when they take him over, zed's present fixation on shen, a very different sort, warps the shadows' and it becomes this twisted love where zed wants shen solely for himself, shen's mind and body and ambition must all belong to him, and he needs to kill everyone who gets in the way of that. of course, shen's father is first. then, the rest of the kinkou. when he finally has shen, he really doesn't want his hard work to go to waste! shen fights back of course but that's what makes him so cute--no, no, it's why he's a worthy host body, take him now--but all of zed's hard work!--and shen, where do you think you're going?

oh geez. zed REALLY doesn't want to do this but shen's always been so strong and zed can't guarantee he'll always be able to overpower shen or outrun him. well, he will be able to guarantee it if shen has no legs! you complete utter fool you've rendered him useless! he loves shen's hands though so he gets to keep those.

zed was really hoping that would be all it took, he was even being extra nice to shen by not force-feeding him those chi suppressants. but no. a week later shen tries to escape again, by warping out this time, and zed desperately and frantically tears the place apart looking for him. he sends his order out but shen could be anywhere at all, though shen's mind apparently couldn't take him very far because they find him rather quickly. he's lying unconscious in a pool of his own blood. it looks like he was dragging himself towards the edge of that cliff, but the ones who found him don't tell zed that.

zed is heartbroken. he's not even angry, maybe a little, but he's just so sad that shen still wants to leave him after all they've been through. he holds shen and apologizes over and over for taking his legs, he knows shen was--attached to them. zed will definitely make it up to him. he loves shen so much. the shadows agree with that much at least. as gently as he can he straps shen to a chair and takes out an ice pick, positioning it very carefully over shen's prefrontal cortex. shen, please stop squirming and shouting, please, he doesn't want to hurt you. he's going to make it better. he's going to make it so that you never want to leave.

on a lighter note thnks for checkin in!! i dont realistically expect anyone to read the entire thing because the way i type is actually horrendous but thanks for reading even a lil bit. i wrote this like 5 months ago which is thankfully enough time to not care as much about how embarrassing this is :)

i lied im still embarrassed

[galimatios]

t/a rambles 1

back on my bullshit part 1

... should look into the tactics ogre games for novel inspo bc my novel is also a political drama ... UNINTENTIONALLY actually id call it a coming of age story in rhe new adult genre since mc is probably 23-25 i have so many feelings about the novel ugh i love my ocs so much and i put them all om opposing sides for this novel the most complex relationship i have in it i think is alex and his mother or rather prince kreutzer in this au queen elaine and her son prince kreutzer .. god its so fucked up bc kreutzer loves his mother- he was largely isolated as a child and his mother was always so loving and sweet and they were so so close but the prince never knew of the shit his mother did as queen she is a tyrant she must have lost a child once. a princess, i think probably to the king who she may have ... overthrew or usurped maybe but regardless of that shes in power now and because she lost a child she became overly protective of kreu and consolidated her power heard of a plot to infiltrate her kingdom and assassinate the son of the previous tyrant king (?) and she just fucking ruled with an iron fist because she has so little trust in the goodness of people that she thinks the only way to achieve good is to force it and as a result she kills anyone who steps out of line thus making the people resent her deeply but to kreutzer shes his mother his loving and doting mother who does all she can to protect him the novel actually starts um after the queen is assassinated h a its not her story but shes a big part of it even after her death bc a big portion of the theme is like coming to terms with the complexity of individuals no one is all good or all bad and kreu starts out unable to understand this he has a very black and white view of moralitt like his mother at the beginning on his coronation day theres an assassination attempt made on him but he gets whisked away by the court jester after that a coup is staged and rebels take over the country and the prince is forced to hide with a traveling circus that the jester brings him to where every performer... is a fugitive or criminal! and thats where his personal growth really begins bc he learns abt these people and realizes his world view was wrong people are complex people do bad things... for just reasons and vice versa esp Keith who makes a major appearance in the novel his entire bg story takes place outside the novel as well hahaha but its a lot after a raid on his village, hes orphaned along w his little sister who is ill so to make ends meet / buy medicine he does literally every fucking crime under the sun starting off with petty theft and scaling up to murder literally sacrificing every last shred of innocence he has for the sake of his ailing sister who... dies anyway! and im thinking, tbh, its a fantine/cosette/thenardiers type sitch where this quack doctor is basically scamming him except instead of fantine dying cosette does anyway thats where he fucking hits rock bottom he could handle things as long as he had someone to fight for you know he was alright with it bc his sister was there, his saving grace but when she dies hes all alone thats probably when lydia finds him i imagine he would he on the verge of suicide or at the very least dying of self imposed starvation and neglect but honestly probably suicide julie's death on top of the crushinf weight of all the crimes hes committed the innocence he lost, the lives he took its just way too much and hes just a naive kid lydia finds him and takes him back to the circus takes care of him gives him food and water and shelter and slowly tries to reach him slowly teaching him that there is still life to be lived that he is so young, and it is far too soon for him to lay down and die that he should live for his dead family, because that is what they would want to keep their memory alive in his heart and he begins to come around slowly starts doing chores for the troup then he finally sees one of their performances acrobats and the trapeze and the glitz and the glamor its the first time in years where he ... wasnt thinking about his dead sister or his trauma he asks lydia to teach him how to "do that" he says while pointing at the stage and so she does and ever since then hes taken up performing full time as a .. daredevil type act doing outrageously dangerous things for the thrill of it it excites him, the risk he loves to see how close to the edge of death he can walk without falling and it fuels him makes him enjoy being alive again and he's.. happy god by the time you meet keith in the novel he's just this happy go lucky teen with this smugness about him a kind of dangerousness belying a sweet exterior he's all jokes and laughs at this point and you'd never be able to tell what he went thru at first glance or at all really bc honestly, at this point he honest to god is okay lies and dirt - Last Thursday at 6:00 AM he... doesnt need anyone's pity. he doesn't need anything but the feeling of being alive now and one of the major points of the novel is prince kreu's relationship with him... bc at first they really clash and kreu is just... he's a fucking criminal and all of then deserve to hang keith plays this off w jokes at first but kreu keeps being antagonistic bc he just cant believe a criminal like him is getting away without punishment but then one day keith snaps at him knife to the prince's throat dangerous, cat like eyes, the usual smile on his face no where to be found you're right. i'm a thief. a liar. a criminal. a murderer. i'm all those things. but i'll tell you one thing, prince: i'm not worthless. he pulls the knife away and walks off leaving the prince stunned after this lydia talks to kreu explaining that maybe he shouldn't judge keith so quickly hinting that the circumstances of his life were... not ideal when i first found him, he was already half dead. perhaps not physically, but in the eyes. you could see the reaper in them. hhmgmgn i need to think more abt the circumstances around this scene ah keith must have been looking for a good place to die

the music from the circus reminded him of better days, when he played songs with his family. i imagine him.. outside the tent, somewhere obscured and there's music flowing from its interior... he's tired. he sits down against a barrel and he's been starving, exhausted... letting sleep take him away on the songs from the circus back to a time he used to be happy...

lydia fines him and shakes him but his eyes look glassy and he's unresponsive

he's taken poison must have been something from his former days working as an assassin something he saved for himself just in case and that's when lydia takes him in and nurses him back to health she's a water mage w healing capabilities so she's able to do it and i imagine at first keith is hurt, angry why am i still alive? i im fucking myself up in the feels i hate this THIS ISNT EBEN IN THE FUCKINF BOOK IT ALL HAPPENS BEFORE IT KEITJS NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER HERE BUT IM SO FUCKED UP ugh after kreutzer learns a bit abt keiiths origins he actually thinks a lot. and tries to make amends. apologizes to keith who doesnt say anything much he's sitting, eyes away from the prince, fiddling with the knives he uses for his performances

"a raid took my parents away. illness took away my sister."

"i did a lot of things for money. most of it i'm not proud of. but i would have done anything to save her... you know?"

"you've got someone you love too, don't you?" kreutzer thinks of his mother. the surrogate brother who disappeared on him and never returned "i do." "then, you get it." after this they start to really bond almost as siblings.. which is really funny bc kreutzer doesnt need to be protective of keith keith can MORE THAN take care of himself but its new for kreutzer to feel.. responsibility for someone else like this he was always the one protected before keith laughs at this a lot what're you trying to do? be my big bro? but secretly he ...really likes having family again as idiotic as kreutzer is ofc lydia has always been there for him but as a surrogate mother an older sib is new and.. kind of nice in canon modern au they really are basically bros LOL actually cousins via mothers but alex/kreu goes to live w keiths family after his mom (lain) dies so they essentially grow up like brothers i didn't even get started w the fucking mess that is alan and kreutzer alan goes by calisto also and he hes the court jester but he was trained from a young age as a snake in the kings court he was supposed to kill the prince when the time was right but alan and his dumb fucking gay ass FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM INSTEAD spoiler alert: its unrequited btwn alex and alan is NEVER requited in ALL aus its because alan ... doesnt love himself at all. he has no sense of... purpose or identity alex can never love someone like that but either way he becomes the prince's personal servant and entertainer and this idiot falls for him the naivete he displays, the timid stateliness, the unfitting title of prince bestowed on his shoulders- kreutzer is far too soft to be the leader of this kingdom and alan increasingly has the desire to protect him even as kreu grows older and more skilled in his studies there is always the anxious trepidation they also grow up together from around ages 11-present at the time of the novels start god alan loves him so much it hurts me but its so one sided alex loves cyrus in modern au ): alan could never be more than just a phase tbh poor guy alan and his low self esteem and depression the worst part of this thougg is that because alan feels aimless and without purpose when he falls for kreutzer he ... finally has his OWN cause to fight for and he takes it to the extreme betraying everyone that trusted him to do his job for the sake of a man who wont ever love him it bites him in the ass too bc i kill him off as a catalyst for other stuff h ahahahhahahahahahahaha not just kill him off but horribly because HE FUCKING BETRAYED HIS ENTIRE SIDE THEY ARE, UNDERSTANDABLY, PISSED Alan is so fuckong flawed hes a fuckinf mess and i love it ugh im thinkijg of another scene in the novel once kreutzer gets captured bt the coup rebels he actuallt submits himself voluntarily bc keith gets kidnapped and used as ransom keith tells him hes a fucking idiot keiths life doesnt matter dont fucking come for me! but kreu doesnt listen obviously and they torture kreutzer bc i love suffering and after that they make him listen in a mock trial to the testimonials of all the people hurt by his mother death to the queen! death to elaine of koel! all the horrible stories of lives unjustly cut short because of his mother it breaks him because he loves his mother so much but she's done all these horrible things he doesn't know what to do how to make amends the damage was done and he takes their wrath their scorn and anguish and i'm sorry as if sorry could ever fix anything but it is his burden to carry, his punishment to suffer in place of the queen ironically this makes lilya have a change of heart she was infiltrating the queens court just as alan did and she is directly responsible for her death her assassination, i think or the king's? either way shes part of the rebel forces and she DESPISES the queen good fucking riddance as far as she's concerned that woman made her life hell(edited) so she can rot in it for all lilya cares for but seeing kreutzer there bloodied tortured sobbing broken and taking the punishment doled out to him without so much as a word of protest(edited) she thinks... this... isnt right this is wrong. because kreutzer was not responsible for the sins of his mother as much as people want to blame him, take out their anger on him lilya was at first all gung ho about ending the royal bloodline lies and dirt - Last Thursday at 7:02 AM but she reconsiders this moment feels something tugging at her this isnt right

she remembers her sister back at the circus— lydia. who she always loved dearly but clashed with, leading to her abandoning the circus and joining the rebellion.

retribution is deserved, but should it be served? what then makes us different from our oppressors?

or sth like that so she rescues kreutzer takes him back to the circus. and reunites with her sister after so many years after that ik not entirely sure what to do w the novel LOL bc i know there has to he a big battle bc the rebellion forces begin to quell opposition like how the communist regime in other countries started in ernest bc people felt oppressed but then they went too far and started culling the middle class so then kreutzer leads his own rebellion force against them to take back the country then once he wins he uses his kinghood to dissolve the monarchy and embrace democracy instead asking lydia to lead hes much too tired to lead, and she is much better suited for it but hm inhabe to think more about that entire segment after this he takes over lydias spot in the circus as its owner and organizer and with keith he spends the rest of his days helping people just like keith also they properly mourn alans death it takes forever for kreu to come to terms w his mothers assassination and crimes he probably never truly works it out but he begins to be able to recognize that she is both the tyrant queen and his loving mother that they do not cancel eachother out, that they are not mutually exclusive they are one in the same UGH IM SO UPSET I WISH ID FUCKING WRITE THIS BC I WANT TO FUCKING READ IT the message i wanna convey is like people.. are complex, imperfect, and the systems they create are also subjected to that but everyone does things for a reason. no matter what that reason is and i want lydia to address this too when she becomes the new prime minister of koel a democracy is not perfect, because man is not perfect. there will be hardship, mistakes made along the way. but together we can grow, improve, and learn about one another— and better our society for it. and i believe anywhere injustice goes, justice will always follow(edited) sth like that ig

[gulescamisade]

Alaska: Day 12, Checkpoint

[[ The truck keeps rolling along, but it's starting to slow. Micexa pipes up from the driver's seat. ]]

MICEXA: I can see the checkpoint...

MICEXA: Everybody stay low and quiet.

MICEXA: I'll handle these guys.

MITUNA: -Never-

KARKAT: =holds onto a rock and ducks Dave gently and Mituna if he has to=

HESONY: =please and thank you Little Angry Man=

HESONY: =He had moved to the passenger seat earlier and did his best to cover the space behind them by moving a crate in front of the open area. Hopefully it would be enough.=

MITUNA: -A crate cannot contain me-

MICEXA: -CONTAIN URSELF-

HESONY: =He straightened in his seat and fixed up his legislacerator jacket a bit, trying to comb down what was probably messy hair.=

MICEXA: -no but really-

MICEXA: -she would be doing that for Hesony if she weren't driving lbr-

HESONY: =This is true=

MICEXA: -the truck slows, and the group can feel it stopping. They hear the voice of a troll outside the driver's side asking for a permit, and then shuffling as Micexa pulls it out and offers it from the window.-

[[ There's quiet for several long moments. Then a guard asks, what are you heading south for? What's in the back? ]]

REDGLARE: -FAINTLY AWAKE AS THEY APPROACH THE CHECKPOINT-

KARKAT: =meese=

MICEXA: -ONLY THE FINEST MEESE. She growls, leaning into the door of the truck.- Did you not see my permit? Do you want me to inform the High Legislacerator that you were the reason I didn't arrive on time? I'm sure she would find a special place for your body. Maybe she would even let me pick it out myself.

REDGLARE: -She reaches for her STABBING STICK, subtly-

KARKAT: =you stop that. Give him the stick=

HESONY: =Gives the checkpoint troll a steely glare from behind Micexa's head=

REDGLARE: -NO-

MITUNA: -Put the stick in me-

[[ There's quiet for another few moments, and then another shuffling. The guard says, you're welcome through. ]]

MICEXA: Thank you very much. -the truck begins to roll forward again, slowly, and she releases a tense sigh.-

HESONY: =Just...slightly slumps=

MITUNA: -Releases a tense fart-

HESONY: ...

HESONY: Sparky, was that you?

MITUNA: -ANOTHER ONE-

[[ The aroma is powerful. ]]

[[ But the truck doesn't travel very far through the checkpoint, trolls and buildings on all sides and patrolling all around, before there's the sound and light of a huge explosion just behind them. ]]

MITUNA: -Powerful-

KARKAT: You couldn't point your ass towards the-!! =boomski=

MICEXA: Fuck!! -she hits the gas, then swerves as debris from the gate lands in the road just ahead-

HESONY: =actually flinches in his seat, whirling around. was it directed at them??=

[[ The explosion pretty much demolished the gate they just went through. ]]

HESONY: =Grabs onto his door to steady himself!!=

HESONY: Miss--! Keep driving!

REDGLARE: -ok now she's got a white knuckled grip on her staff-

[[ There are the sounds of shouts, running feet, and gunfire all around outside the tarp covered back of the truck. ]]

KARKAT: =So it shouldn't be for them he clutches Terezi's weapon and holds onto Dave and Redglare so she doesn't slide about=

REDGLARE: -Hisses and coughs...- wh4t's h4pp3n1ng?(edited)

KARKAT: =HE DOESN'T LIKE NOT SEEING WHATS GOING ON=

HESONY: I don't know! =He's still tryin to look out the window while keeping low=

MICEXA: Someone's attacking the--!! -FUCK. Another grenade is thrown just in their path and she swerves again, but this time right into a building. The grenade goes off in the dirt many yards away, but the truck is officially halted with a jolt.-(edited)

HESONY: Just stay down and stay quiet.

HESONY: HRRRRKGNGNGNG!

KARKAT: =JERKS with the stop and growls...... quietly=

HESONY: =oh my god he almost went through the windshield. Thank frick for seatbelts=

[[ The driver's side door is wrenched open, and a dazed Micexa is dragged out with a soft cry in her throat. ]]

MICEXA: \|/ait-- no--

REDGLARE: -panting. MAYBE also trying to get up, for what that's worth, but it's easy enough to keep her from doing that. She probably doesn't have the strength for that.-

REDGLARE: W3 c4n't--

HESONY: =He was in the middle of telling the others not to move when suddenly Miss is GONE=

MITUNA: -Peels himself off the bed of the truck-

[[If anyone peeks out from the tarp, they'll see Miss being grabbed and held by two humans and a troll. ]]

MITUNA: wha7 7he fuck

HESONY: =even in his dazed state, he rips himself out of the seat and follows after her through the open door=

KARKAT: =ALRIGHT. NUTS TO STAYING QUIET AND HIDDEN THEY'RE BEING ATTACKED. Here comes a hissy fish-oh.... yeah sure he totally peeped=

[[ If anyone jumps out, they will ALSO see this. ]]

[[ I SURE AINT STOPPING YA ]]

KARKAT: =THEN HERE COMES ME=

KARKAT: =looks at the human= .....What?... Wait are you rebels?

HESONY: =He's running towards the group that has her and he's automatically throwing aside his own weapon with his hands raised.= PLEASE! Please don't hurt her!(edited)

KARKAT: =fins perked almost=

REDGLARE: -ONE LEGGED, USING HER STICK TO BE UP. The fall from out of the truck is a doozy, though. DOOF.-

MICEXA: \|/ait-- just check the-- -heck. Oh hello Hesony and Karkat.-

KARKAT: =REDGLARE GODDAMMIT he glances at her and HUFFS=

[[ The little group looks at Karkat and then Redglare emerging from the back of the truck, bewildered for a few moments. Then one of them speaks. ]]

ALMA: Fuck.

ALMA: You're Umbral Ultimatum, aren't you?

KARKAT: That depends on who's asking.

MITUNA: -Pokes his head out-

REDGLARE: -She is stubbornly trying to stand. Wings buzzing, muscles TREMBLING. That leg was holding her back.-

REDGLARE: >;I

JUHANI: =a human (who spells her name with six letters) is holding onto Miss by her hair=

JUHANI: Please answer her question.(edited)

ALMA: Are these trolls holding you hostage??? -holds Micexa EVEN MORE THREATENINGLY-

KARKAT: .... =jumps out to steady Redglare= No, they're helping us. So.... don't kill her.

REDGLARE: wh4t. Do you know 4bout us.

MITUNA: ye7

KARKAT: =yes, yet=

KARKAT: =but we need them still=

HESONY: =he's just on his knees by now, just full out begging=

HESONY: =Pride, somewhere in the trophosphere=

KARKAT: =good not-god man.=

ALMA: -eyeballs their conditions and... reluctantly releases Micexa, throwing her toward Hesony.- We don't have time. You guys can't stay here.

KARKAT: We weren't planning on sticking around... but why?

HESONY: =CATCHES her as he stumbled to his own feet=

MICEXA: -huffs... and leans against Hesony-

HESONY: 8n8

ALMA: Look around, we're lighting this place up. -CONTINUED EXPLOSIONS AND FIGHTING IN THE BG-

KARKAT: ....Fair point. Also good job. Fantastic.

JUHANI: =stares at the two legislacerators from top to bottom= Cleaning house, if you will.

ALMA: Ju, we need to find Kuyra. He can sneak these guys out of here.

MICEXA: -rrrr...-

REDGLARE: -wheezes.- on our w4y south. f41rly f4r. m1nn-- nn—

REDGLARE: -focus. clear throat.- m1n3sot4. 4m3r1c4.

MITUNA: america

MITUNA: fuck yeah

JUHANI: =She nodded and moved aside to contact Kuyra on their radio=

ALMA: We'll worry about getting you out of the checkpoint first. -rests a hand on Redglare's shoulder gently-

HESONY: =he's just quiet. silent. not even contributing to this conversation.=

ALMA: I have to go. Ju, I'm leaving these guys to you for now.

KARKAT: How many of you are there? Holy shit.... =this is fantastic=

REDGLARE: -nods a little...-

KARKAT: =GOODBYE FOREVER DICKHOLES=

ALMA: Meet up with me when you can. -MUSCULAR SPANISH WOMAN DASHES AWAY!!!! Shooting at an approaching group of trolls-

JUHANI: =she glanced up, nodding.= Kuyra's farther down the road. =She tilted her head at Micexa= Is that truck still functioning or did you wreck it completely?

MICEXA: -huffs- It's probably going to need more work than we have time for.

MITUNA: -Looking at Spanish booty-

ALMA: -it winks in the afternoon sun-

JUHANI: =breathes steadily through her nose= Well done. =she says, like's it's Miss's fault they crashed=

MITUNA: -Porrim would appreciate that butt-

MICEXA: -fite me bro-

JUHANI: =gestures down the road with her rifle.= On foot then. Go, I will cover you.

MICEXA: -looks at the rest of the crew-

KARKAT: =Looks at Redglare, then glances to the Micexa and Hesony= ......

KARKAT: =AGGRESSIVELY FUCKING GESTURES down the road then turns to Redglare= Do you want a lift? I ask as I'm going to do it anyway?(edited)

JUHANI: Do I have to suggest that those unharmed carry the wounded? =she's mostly looking at the legislacerator pair. Forgive her for not trusting you.=

HESONY: =he's still RATTLED.=

MICEXA: -were used to it its cool-

HESONY: =Even so, he hesitantly moved toward the crew.=

HESONY: =LET ME HOLD YOU=

REDGLARE: -GOD DAMN IT... Sigh.- w3'r3 1n. 4 hurry. just-- do 1t.

MICEXA: -she's gonna help whoever else lets her... and then dash down the road. MIGHT AS WELL DO IT WHILE THEY CAN-

HESONY: =He ducks down in so that someone can crawl onto his back.=

MITUNA: -He's got him and Tula. Floats them on down the road-

KARKAT: =Hoists her and goes on foot while he has Dave tucked in a baby sling on his chest probably=

HESONY: =also picks up his shield from the dirt and hustles toward their destination, wherever that may be.=

[[ There are splatters of gunfire in the dirt around their feet as they go, and in the chaos they can see trolls fighting humans, trolls fighting trolls. There's plenty of bloodshed, and it's hard to tell who's winning, but more and more of this checkpoint is catching on fire. Maybe that's a good sign. ]]

[[ Down the road, there's the face of a human peeking around the side of a building, and then their hand waving them over before they duck and hide again. ]]

KARKAT: =Hustles on his legs and goes around the corner, with haste... but warily=

MITUNA: -War. War never changes-

LATULA: ok4y sh1t so th4tz l1k3 your BRO r1ght?????

[[ The human is hunched down at the side of the building, and it looks relative quiet over here, with lots of upgrown grass. He waves to the group once they get there. ]]

KUYRA: hey uhh... youre the UU guys right?

MITUNA: why doe5 everyone know who we are

KARKAT: Gee, I wonder.

KUYRA: haha... yeah. im kuyra. just-- just the scout guy.

LATULA: 1 W4NN4 KNOW TH3 S4M3 B1Z MY DUD3 1 M34N YOU DO NOT KNOW TH3 SH1T W3 JUST W3NT THROUGH

KARKAT: Alright Just The Scout Guy Kuyra, great. We're us, you're you. Now what the fuck is happening?

KUYRA: i guess ju didnt have time to tell you anything... uh. were the rebellion.

KUYRA: were taking over the checkpoint. taking back travel routes from the empire.

KUYRA: -glances around anxiously- we can talk more when we get back to base. they might find us here.

LATULA: fuck1n!!!! 4LR1GHT gu3ss w3r3 t4k1ng your word for th4t!!! do you got 4 doc 4t l34st c4us3 TH4T SON 1S GONN4 B3 FUCK1N BUSY.

KUYRA: -eyes them- yeah...

KUYRA: uh. alright follow me.

MITUNA: i can7 feel my arm

KUYRA: -sucks man...-(edited)

MITUNA: -Brushes it against a wall-

KUYRA: do you... need help with your arm??

KUYRA: ???

MITUNA: we all need help fucking look a7 u5 bro

KUYRA: ...yeah. thats what i figured.

HESONY: =he knows what that entails as he'd had a practically splintered arm too at one point, but for now he's going to elect to not be a smart ass.=(edited)

MITUNA: -Still floating himself and Latula-

KUYRA: ok. lets go. -sneaks through the grass toward a fence, and it's cut enough to let people through one at a time, so he pulls back the wiring to allow them all to crawl through-

MITUNA: -Can he just go over the fence-

HESONY: =You know what forget it= Sparky's been using his psionics for long periods over the course of several days now.

[[ He could go over but it's high and also there's a very good chance someone will see them. ]]

MITUNA: um excu5e you i wa5 pa55ed ou7 for a day 7here

HESONY: Likely due to the aforementioned overuse of your abilities. =he could just shut them off, but he never particularly enjoyed using it.=

LATULA: -babe no-

MITUNA: or maybe becau5e 5ome dicknub fucked up my already fucked up arm

KUYRA: -stares at these guys like... are y'all gonna come through the fence or...-

MITUNA: -Floats through-

MICEXA: -SIGHS and crawls through herself-

HESONY: Maybe because all of you didn't know How to take a fucking Hint.

MITUNA: you le7 7erezi die

HESONY: =He'S crawling through when he hears that and just STIFFENS=

LATULA: -SHAKES MITUNA A LIL- yo OK l1st3n th4t w4s fuck3d up 4nd fuck th3s3 guyz but l3tz just G3T TH3R3 ok4y???? dud3 1 4m gonn4 fr34k out 4nd 1 h4v3 NO 1d34 wh4t to do but w3r3 l1k3 th1s clos3 to f1nd1ng SOM3BODY who m1ght! SO CMON DUD3. G3T YOUR 4SS THROUGH 4ND L3TZ GO.

LATULA: -WAY TOO MANY KABOOMS GOING ON FOR HER TO KEEP HER HEAD COOL-

MICEXA: -turns and growls in Mituna's direction, but she... grabs onto Hesony and tugs him.-HESONY: =crawls through the rest of the way so he's not a roadblock.=

KUYRA: -wow... awkward...-

LATULA: 4LR1GHT cool. sh1t. sh1t ok4y. cool. -Shes gonna go next and just SHINMY ON THROUGH-

MITUNA: -Grumbles himself, but sticks with Latula. Okay maybe that was fucked up but like...Terezi is fucking dead and he's just...still not okay-

LATULA: -tru and also for realz fucked up but she can't stop thinking that if they linger too long the party is gonna get even smaller. she squeezes on his side as they get through.-

MITUNA: -He's all skin and bones now-

KUYRA: -he leads them through more grass and then into woods where they travel for a bit before finding a ditch that conceals what seems to be some kind of sewer opening- in here.

HESONY: =is crying very subtly=

MICEXA: -NO-

MITUNA: -Take a fucking sip-

MITUNA: -Follows this strange person into a hole-

KUYRA: -it seems to lead into sewer tunnels, and then a rather heavy door that he taps on for a good thirty seconds in some kind of elaborate code before it swings open. And then....-

MITUNA: -The sweet release of death-

[[ Inside, it's a series of elaborate tunnels and rooms, and there are a lot more humans as well as some trolls down here. They seem fairly well-stocked, and there's a good number of them. It's a base of the rebellion, alright. ]]

REDGLARE: -glancing down the tunnels... must have taken some cues from LOCAS. It seems to be working for them so far.-

HESONY: =as far as he knows, they might all be trudging to their doom=

MITUNA: -Arm around Latula. Good arm that is.-

MITUNA: cool

JUHANI: =She nodded up ahead=

JUHANI: The barracks are to your left. You will be brought there after doctor visits, some food in your system and nice baths. How does that sound? We will have to see about vacancy, but perhaps we can get you all beds near one another.

MITUNA: -Holds onto latula-

JUHANI: Now, our physician is this way. Please follow me.

LAUTLA: -if he's holding on her then he's going to the physician cause she is DEFINITELY following that way-

MITUNA: -Welp, here we go-

MITUNA: -At the physician they get the amazing news that Mituna will be joining the lose a limb club-

HESONY: =Hey look Miss, Mituna and Redglare are going to match us.=

MICEXA: -GREAT-

[[ His doctor is an 18 year old med student. She was from the coast until the water apocalypse happened. ]]

MITUNA: -But can she amputate-

[[ Oh definitely! She's looking the procedure up in a book right now. ]]

MITUNA: -Looks at Latula. HELP ME-

LATULA: -LISTEN DUDE SHE MIGHT HONESTLY FAINT THIS IS THE SECOND AMPUTATION IN WAY TOO SHORT OF A SPAN-

MITUNA: -BABE-

MITUNA: -She's looking up how to lop my arm off. HELP -(edited)

LATULA: -WELL IT'S NOT LIKE SHE KNOWS HOW!!!!-

MITUNA: -THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT FROM A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL-

HESONY: =If you're gonna complain, I can always do it.=

MITUNA: -You can eat a bag of the saltiest dicks available-

HESONY: =choke on a box of bisquick=

MITUNA: -cry more-

HESONY: =he will beat you with your own amputated limb=

MITUNA: -Fist yourself with it-

HESONY: =nO, no, Mituna deserve the honors, besides, Sunny doesn't know where this thing has been=

MITUNA: - 8) -

HESONY: =Do not look at me with that face=

MITUNA: -8)-

HESONY: =Aight, Sparky, your name's Stumpy now=

MITUNA: -You still let Terezi die-

MINDFANG: -Do worry mituna she knows a guy who makes kick ass arms.-

HESONY: =stfu Stumpy what do you know=

MITUNA: -I know I'm losing an arm, and a friend of mine died and both those things are p much your fault.-

HESONY: =if you troglodytes had complied, maybe both those things wouldnt have happened!=

MITUNA: -I hope you get expunged, bitch boy-

HESONY: =THAT STILL MIGHT BE A THING. SHE'S ON OUR ASS YOU NIMROD.=

MITUNA: -Just you. Only you.-

HESONY: =That's not how it works!=

MITUNA: -It will today-

HESONY: =You do realize if she kills me here, the probability of everyone else dying is even higher??=

MITUNA: -No we'll put you outside.-

HESONY: =you'll have to kill me first, Sparky=

MITUNA: -That can be arranged-

HESONY: =try me, snotwaffle=

MITUNA: -Lick my anal cavity-

HESONY: =no way, you havent bathed in like over a week=

MITUNA: -Eat my bunstuff-

HESONY: =maybe the eon you stop smelling like ass=