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fun fact about me right now is instead of prepping for a work trip i’m trying to decipher what the fuck notes app me was talking about in fic notes at like 10 last night. we have to go to trader joe’s tonight. i have thirty minutes. how much do you think i can do in this timespan.
#i'm being forced to go to florida against my will this weekend#do you know the kind of vendetta i hold against florida#fun trivia: i was almost a floridian#the floridian version of myself in an alternate universe was a hot mess of that i am sure#i am scared of her#icb i'm gonna be in florida the same weekend as taylor and not even see her smh#my apologies to the state of florida
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I would have bled out in the parking lot
Amber Nicole Thurman's death is on Trump's hands
Bess Kalb
Sep 17
In 2019, about six weeks after my first child was born, I found myself on the bathroom floor in a small, but nonetheless unsettling puddle of blood.
“Oh no,” I remember thinking. “I just did the laundry.”
I called out my husband’s name, but the sound caught in my throat. The pain I felt inhaling to get enough air out of my lungs to yell the two syllables in “Char-lie” jabbed my guts like a bicycle spoke to the abdomen.
So I was quiet, trying to keep breathing in a way that didn’t move anything inside me, and the pain pulsed a bit, then steadied, then dulled, then evaporated into whatever hell ether it came from.
Because there is no G-d (unless there is, in which case I abbreviated His name so as not to desecrate it, and also thank you, King of the Universe, for subscribing to this newsletter) this was the one time in my life I hadn’t brought my phone with me to the bathroom.
I decided to sort of slither-lumber to the door like a lame harbor seal, because I didn’t want to stand and loosen the spoke that had just stabbed me. I reached for the knob and let the door creak open.
The cat was there, looking at me right at eye level, keenly aware what was happening, and completely unmoved by it.
“You are dying,” he blinked, “Pity. Have a nice time.” He sashayed away.
Fortunately, our house in Los Angeles was small enough that from the bathroom door one could see everything. My husband was sitting on the couch with our infant, and I knocked on the open door to summon him. Within one one thousandth of a second, he set the baby on the (since-recalled) donut pillow and was holding my head.
I sat up. I breathed. No pain. I took a picture of the bloody mess on my husband’s phone, texted it to myself, he found my phone, then I texted the picture to my OBGYN.
Apologies for being graphic, but within the puddle there was something roughly the size and shape and color of a fig.
“Is this ok?” I said to my doctor, the bicycle spoke scraping lightly at my insides again from all the lumbering.
“Come in,” she replied.
Within two hours, I was in the waiting room of her office, accompanied by my terrified but SMILING mother, who was still, as is the Jewish custom, in town for “a few days or so” after the birth.
An ultrasound which felt like the finger of Satan himself revealed there was retained placenta in my uterus. If I hadn’t come in, there would have been more hemorrhaging, then sepsis, then whatever the cat foretold.
The next day, I was in surgery getting a Dilation and Curettage.
I went home, pumped the anesthesia milk, then fell asleep perfectly fine, my sweet newborn cooing merrily in the bassinet next to his alive mother.
Amber Nicole Thurman’s story was the same as mine, but it happened to her in Georgia in 2024, not California in 2019. She was a Black woman in a healthcare system that disproportionately kills Black women, especially postpartum. In 2021, the Black maternal mortality rate was nearly three times the rate it is for white women. Post-Roe, the toll is and will continue to be staggering.
Because post-Roe, the procedure that saved my life, the D&C, is something doctors cannot perform in states where matters of life and death have been left up to non-medical Christian-supremacist superstitions.
I know the pain Amber Thurman felt when that placenta dislodged and carved its tiny, treacherous hole in her uterine wall. I know the terror she felt when she saw the blood, and the rush of dread when she thought of what her child would do without her.
And when I vote in November for Kamala Harris and every progressive down-ballot candidate, I will do it because she can’t. And I will do it so that women in Georgia and Idaho and Texas and North Dakota and South Dakota and Utah, Arizona, Nebraska Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, Florida, South Carolina, and West Virginia won’t have to meet the same completely preventable doom.
This election isn’t just about Amber Thurman. Every day of my lucky, breathing life is about Amber Thurman. Because the only thing that separates us, is one of us bled out under the right Supreme Court.
Let’s raise absolute federal hell about it.
-- From Bess Kalb's newsletter The Grudge Report. I pay for this substack -- though it's free-- and think this is a message worth sharing far beyond her newsletter.
#bess kalb#the grudge report#abortion#abortion rights#abortion is healthcare#kamala harris#amber thurman
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Please excuse my initial reaction, I was quite distraught after reading his statement. Now that i’ve slept on the situation and have a more clear head i can say that i whole heartedly do not accept his apology for a few reasons:
1. One of us clearly remembers that night in excruciating detail. I will forever wonder what actually happened that night and that is something that weighs heavily on me. Although the next day i “accepted” that he would never hurt me, I no longer feel that way. It was a very fresh wound and I wanted to believe him because I still loved him. However, after two years of sitting on this and reflecting I take that back. And I felt like he was excusing his behavior by saying he didn’t realize how drunk I was. Also the fact that he shared it in such detail made me extremely uncomfortable. I respected him enough to not share such intimate details and he did not have the same respect for me. I think he could’ve just said “she initiated intimacy in the way she normally did” and it would’ve gotten his point across just as well. Regardless, he still had sex with me when i was blacked out while he was in a conscious enough state to assess and remember the encounter in such vivid detail. That fact has not changed.
2. All the stuff about his friends is frankly of no consequence to me. Everything that happened with Friend A happened while we were broken up. And him bringing up Friend B felt unnecessary given the fact that we all discussed the matter with each other at the time it happened. I never cheated on him and i would like to stop that theory in its tracks. Him and I have spoken about this matter privately on numerous occasions so that is all I will say.
3. About the shower thing, I was coming out of the shower/bathroom. He had the discord call on speaker on his phone. So yes, I heard very clearly what George said and Luke simply ended the call, he did not call him out. I believe he is recalling a different instance where another one of his friends said that he wanted to have sex with me once i moved to Florida. I was not witness to it and he did tell me he stood up for me that time which is why I didn’t bring it up. I did not go into more detail about it because I was just using that one quote as an example of how some of his friends would speak about me in his presence. However this is already more than one instance of his friends speaking about me in that way, which leads me to believe it happened quite often when I was not around.
4. Intentionally or not, I felt he demonized BPD and used that as a way to invalidate a lot of what I said
5. He still called me a slur when he knew it was wrong because I was getting cancelled for it at the time. I do not believe he was actually confused as to the gravity of what he said to me
I would like to remind you that i know him personally. I lived through that. When I say we remember things differently I mean it. I think that he believes he is being truthful. However because I know him and I know what I experienced, I do not trust him. I do not believe that we were “equally” toxic. While I admit I made a lot of mistakes in the relationship, to me they do not justify all I endured. I repeat, you can believe what you want. This is a very nuanced situation but if you were looking to me to accept his apology, I do not.
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Chapter 17 - I Ain't Worried
The ending of this chapter was my absolute favorite to write! Me and my Americaness is shining bright in this chapter! I live in Florida for half the year for uni - so I love the state. Logan also needs lots of love and a forehead kiss :D
I'm so sorry for the last chapter, but wait to send me the therapy bills cause the next chapter is gonna be a doozy (I apologize in advance)
Like always comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and comments are always welcome! Much love
GO AMERICA RAAAWWWWWWW
TAG LIST IS CLOSED
“MAAXXX!”
Max jumped at the sheer volume of your voice. Last he knew, you were all the way at the Williams garage. It wouldn’t be possible for you to possibly be able to scream that far. Yet, you were known to surprise him.
What he didn’t expect was for you to be dragging one Logan Sargeant by the hand. The latter looked almost…scared? The Dutchman quickly put his data pad down and turned to your direction. By now, you had dropped the American’s hand and was pushing him closer.
“Just tell him,” you told the blond, who was currently digging his feet in the concrete. Logan only rolled his eyes as Max lifted an eyebrow. He looked between the younger two, waiting for someone to spill the beans.
You huffed, since Logan was taking too long.
“Logan here wanted to see if you’d want to join us at the beach after the race today to celebrate points last race. Since there’s really no good beaches in China. ”
A squawk came from the American. “I didn’t want to ask, you did.”
Now, that could have hurt Max’s feelings, but he really didn’t know the American well enough to be offended.
The senior Red Bull racer shifted his stance. “Sure. I mean, who’s coming?”
Finally, Logan spoke up. “Well, right now it’s just us because someone,” he gave you a look, “jumped the gun on the invite. I was going to send a text out.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground.
Max thought for a moment. All you had to say about the American was nothing short than amazing. And for just a second, Max felt pretty bad as he looked at the two of you, who were waiting for an answer.
He raised his eyebrows. “Sounds like fun!”
With the way Logan’s head whipped up and the hope in your eyes, Max knew he made the right choice.
“Perfect,” the William’s driver whispered, not in full belief that THEE Max Verstappen was going to go to the beach with them.
You playfully punched his arm. “I told you!” you all but whispered as Logan smiled down at you.
The three of you kind of stood in awkward silence, until you grabbed Logan’s hand once again. “Come on, we got to go find your other half!”
Logan didn’t get a say in anything else as you dragged him in the other direction, back to the McLaren garage.
A laugh from behind Max startled him a bit. He looked over his shoulder to find you manager looking fondly at your disappearing figure. Another eyebrow raise silently questioned the man.
Vito caught his eye and gestured to you. “It’s great to see her making friends. Well, more than just Arthur and Ollie.”
Max just hummed as he put a hand across his forehead to be able to see through the bright Miami sun. Yes, it was hot and the beach was the last place that he wanted to be after a sweaty race. But, you and Logan seemed so hopeful. He could see Kelly now approving of how he was letting loose a bit. It had been too long since he allowed himself to have fun.
A ding of his phone had him looking for the rectangular device. He let out a dry laugh as he saw a text from Charles.
Emotional Support Rival
I hear the kids have roped you in as well to go to the beach after this?
Mad Max
Yep Couldn’t say no to the puppy eyes And it’ll be fun to let loose, ya know? Also, who else is coming
Emotional Support Rival
Yeah And the American kid too He’s strangely growing on me Uh, it’s Lando, Oscar, Alex, George, me, Logan, and then the kid
Mad Max
Ah, cool And same Well, good luck today
Emotional Support Rival
Yeah, yeah, yeah I’ll try to stay out of the gravel :D
The emoji made Max shudder as he stared at the little smiley face that you had roped Charles into using more often. He could take it from you, but not from anyone else.
You suddenly made your way back into the garage, a bit out a breath.
“You done running everywhere?” Vito questioned, handing you a bottle of water.
“Yep! Beach trip is a go!” You fist pumped. “I’m so glad I brought my swimsuit.”
You started to ramble about everything you wanted to do at the beach. A few key words such as “recreation of the beach scene from Top Gun” and how “oddly strange it was that Logan reminded you of Ryan Gosling in the Barbie movie.” Everything just made Max chuckle to himself.
He was a bit nervous that he wasn’t starting pole today. Charles had just nabbed it out of his grasp. You had surprisingly gotten back up the grid after what happened at Suzuka and then a placing of P7 at Shanghai, your lowest finish yet.
Shanghai Results
Max Verstappen – 25 points
Charles Leclerc – 18 points
Lewis Hamilton – 15 points
George Russell – 12 points
Lando Norris – 11 points
Oscar Piastri – 8 points
Y/n L/n – 6 points
Alex Albon – 4 points
Logan Sargeant – 2 points
Carlos Sainz – 1 point
Fernando Alonso – 0 points
Daniel Ricciardo – 0 points
Lance Stroll – 0 points
Yuki Tsunoda – 0 points
Pierre Gasly – 0 points
Nico Hulkenberg – 0 points
Zhou Guanyu – 0 points
Esteban Ocon – 0 points
Valtteri Bottas – 0 points
Kevin Magnussen – 0 points
But now you were starting back at the top with him and Charles.
Starting Grid
Max Verstappen
Charles Leclerc
Y/n L/n
Oscar Piastri
Lando Norris
Logan Sargeant
Alex Albon
George Russell
Carlos Sainz
Fernando Alonso��
Lewis Hamilton
Lance Stroll
Daniel Ricciardo
Yuki Tsunoda
Valtteri Bottas
Pierre Gasly
Esteban Ocon
Zhou Guanyu
Kevin Magnussen
Nico Hulkenberg
“Our starting grid looks promising today at the 2024 Miami Grand Prix. Now, the Williams seem strong today as Logan Sargeant qualified his highest position yet. He seems like a man on a mission for a podium. We’re glad to see that Y/n L/n is back up top following her crash back at Suzuka and then a low finish at Shanghai.”
The camera focused on you in your car, waiting for everyone to flee the scene. You caught the lens and gave a small peace sign, before suddenly becoming embarrassed as you put your visor down. It was finally time for the race as everyone got off the starting line.
Sure, you could have been even more nervous after your crash, but you had just shrugged everything off and got back to it.
“We see the drivers in the formation lap now. There goes our race leader Max Verstappen followed by Charles Leclerc. Now the drivers we are going to be focused on today are the Williams drivers, Logan and Alex. We want to see if Sargeant can keep his cool in the hot seat, both figuratively and literally as the temperatures are high today.
“All the drivers are back in their spots and now they patiently wait for those five red lights…
And it’s lights out and away we go at the 2024 Miami Grand Prix. There goes Max Verstappen, already pulling away from the very beginning. Down they go toward the first corner and CHARLES LECERLC GOES OFF THE TRACK! But it seems like he is back on and I’m getting radio of no damage so he’s still in, but what a start.
“Y/n L/n is up to second with Oscar Piastri now in third with Logan Sargeant who has gained a position. Lando Norris is behind him with the other Williams car making him a Williams sandwich.”
“Alright Mitch. Can we try to convert this into a win maybe?” You pressed the radio on as you had been called into the pits right behind Max.
“Ah, that’s a negative kid. Max has been given the priority for this race.”
“Boooooo. Max is a certified rookie-hater.”
“Seems like Y/n L/n is not happy with that team call.” David Croft chuckles after listening in on your radio.
“Who is currently behind me?” You asked as the last lap was nearing.
Mitch responded. “Piastri is behind, but Sargeant is in DRS to him.”
When she said that, your heart did a little jump. Secretly, you were hoping that Logan would get the jump on Oscar. (But no one had to know that.)
With two more laps left, you needed to check in one again as you could see a vehicle catching up.
“Mitch, status for the car behind me please.”
“It’s, uh…Is this correct?” You heard her whisper to someone else.
“Uh Mitch? Priorities please!” Your car jerked around the corner that sent you into the last lap.
“Sargeant is 2.385 seconds behind you and not gaining. So just get across the finish line.”
“LOGAN?!”
“Yes. Logan.”
You didn’t even realize that you had crossed the finish line.
“AND WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? LOGAN SARGEANT CROSSES THE LINE IN A PERSONAL BEST OF A THIRD POSITION! A WILLIAMS IN ON THE PODIUM AND HIS TEAMMATE COMES AFTER HIM TO MAKE IS A 3-4 FOR THE WILLIAMS TEAM!”
Max crawled out of his car and raised his hands once he was out on the concrete. He turned and expected you to immediately run toward him like the last 1-2, but you never showed up. All he could see was you hunched over…a Williams?
When did that get there?
“LOGAANNNN!” you yelled down into the cockpit as you were practically in there with the American.
He batted you away so that he could get out with you. And once he was out, he was glad that he was ready for you as you jumped into his arms. Your helmets clashed as the two of you came together, but you could deal with a concussion later. He gently placed you back on the ground, but was again bulldozed over by his teammate.
It was at that moment you noticed a Dutch driver standing by himself, a bit dejected. You quickly jogged over and jumped on his back.
“Maaaaxxxxx, another podium baby!”
The Dutchman was glad that he had his hands on your legs as you leaned back and almost fell over.
“Kid are you trying to kill me?”
“Yes, you rookie-hater. Are you ever going to let me win?” you whined as he let you back down gently so that the two of you could get weighed.
“There will come a time kid. You have to be patient.”
Once your helmet was off, he could see your pouted lips. “I don’t want to be patient.”
Sadly, Arthur was off getting trained for endurance racing and wouldn’t be back to a race until Monaco for Charles’s home race. So, your favorite interviewer was not there after the cooldown room.
Yet, it was enjoyable due to the blond in the room. The three of you watched the TV and winced as you saw Charles go off the track.
“Sheesh,” you grimaced.
Max sighed, “And he said he’d try to stay out of the gravel.” He looked over at Logan. “Nice job on the overtake with Piastri.”
Logan kind of just stared at him for a moment before coming back to reality. “Thank you. He went a bit wide, and I tried to keep my elbows out."
You punched him in the side and he let out an oof. “Keep your elbows out my ass. You drove phenomenally.”
The podium celebration was amazing, but you were looking forward to one thing and one thing only.
“Alexa, play I Ain’t Worried by One Republic.”
Sand kicked at your feet as you ran behind Logan as he threw the egg-shaped ball at Oscar. The Aussie may have fumbled a bit, but he was able to run down the long stretch toward the opposite’s goal.
“Max!” he yelled and threw the ball to the unexpected Dutchman. The ball hit Max’s head and tumbled to the sand. You threw your hands up in frustration.
“Max!” you groaned. The remaining boys of Lando, Alex, George, and Charles all laughed at your frustration.
“What! This is not football!” He pointed to the American football in the sand. Charles leaned down to pick it up. Surprisingly, he twirled it well in the air.
“Technically, it’s American football!” Logan yelled from the other side, where you were standing with your hands on your hips.
George took the ball from Charles and chucked it to Lando. The Brit should have been looking the other direction, because to him you came out of nowhere and bulldozed him over.
Logan put his arms up, pretending to be a field goal. “And tackle!”
The curly-hair boy pretended to spit out sand as you stood, football in hand.
He looked up at you in amazement. “Where did you learn to tackle like that?”
You spiraled the ball perfectly back to Logan. “Live in Texas for 5 years. If there’s nothing bigger there than sweet tea and Bucees, it’s football.”
This time, Oscar was able to get the ball and run all the way to your “end goal.”
“Touchdown!”
“This was so not Top Gun,” George sighed as he kicked sand. “The shirtless ones always win.”
“Uh George?” Logan asked, making the taller Brit look up at the other shirtless drivers. You were technically shirtless as you only had your bikini on.
A bigger sigh left George’s lips.
“So can we all agree that I’d be Maverik?”
“Logan, if anyone was Maverik, it’d be me. Y’a know, main character vibes. You can be Rooster.”
“Doesn’t he die?”
“No silly, that’s Goose in the first one.”
“Who would I be?”
“Bob. Oscar, you’d be Bob.”
Race Results
Max Verstappen – 25 points
Y/n L/n – 18 points
Logan Sargeant – 15 points
Alex Albon – 12 points
Charles Leclerc – 11 points
Lando Norris – 8 points
Oscar Piastri – 6 points
Carlos Sainz – 4 points
Lewis Hamilton – 2 points
George Russell – 1 point
Fernando Alonso
Daniel Ricciardo
Yuki Tsunoda
Lance Stroll
Pierre Gasly
Zhou Guanyu
Esteban Ocon
Valtteri Bottas
Kevin Magnussen
Nico Hulkenberg
Championship Standings
Max Verstappen – 150 points
Charles Leclerc – 95 points
Y/n L/n – 65 points
Lando Norris – 61 points
Lewis Hamilton – 49 points
Oscar Piastri – 45 points
Carlos Sainz – 33 points
George Russell – 31 points
Fernando Alonso – 23 points
Daniel Ricciardo – 21 points
Alex Albon – 20 points
Logan Sargeant – 17 points
Lance Stroll
Pierre Gasly
Yuki Tsunoda
Zhou Guanyu
Kevin Magnussen
Nico Hulkenberg
Valtteri Bottas
Esteban Ocon
Constructors Standings
Red Bull – 215 points
Ferrari – 128 points
McLaren – 106 points
Mercedes – 80 points
Williams – 37 points
Aston Martin - 23 point
Racing Bulls – 21 points
Alpha Romeo
Haas
Alpine
y/n.89 has posted
y/n.89 highway to the DANGA ZONE - podium (with my favorite American and teammate) and some well deserved beach time after
liked by logansargeant, arthur_leclerc, b0x_b0x_nightmare and 73,295 others
maxverstappen1 uh I was on the podium too??
y/n.89 we're all tired of you being on the top step charles_leclerc yes, let's have the poor people have a chance landonorris POOR PEOPLE?? YOU MAKE MORE THAN I DO oscarpiastri you're getting paid??
logan2sarg AMERICAN ON THE PODIUM - ONE STEP CLOSER TO FREEDOM RAAAWWRRRR
sargeant_log this post has signaled the Americans
arthurxy/n ARTHUR BACK IN THE LIKES
maxverstappen1 I'm your only teammate??
logansargeant and I'm the only American driver?? y/n.89 oh be quiet
emotional_support_rivals I was thankfully at the beach, and let me tell you - an exact replica of the top gun beach scene
lestappenlove lemme guess...Logan is Maverick? y/n.89 NO HE'S ROOSTER
y/n.nation our girl looking prettyyyy - mystery boy must be keeping her happy
maxverstappen1 has posted
maxverstappen1 the progression of the day : sun time, burnt time, shade time
liked by y/n.89, maxverstappencom, dutch_lion, max_max, and 2,948,923 others
max_fan lobster max is back
kellypiquet did you remember sunscreen?
maxverstappen1 yes y/n.89 no he didn't
lestappenlove max in a bucket hat is something I didn't know I needed
redbullracing should we add umbrellas to the car?
f1_group I wonder who won the football game
y/n.89 Logan, max, oscar, and I won - while Lando, Alex, George and Charles LOST alex_albon it's because somehow you are freakishly good at the sport, Logan grew up playing it, Oscar grew up with Logan and Max just wins everything charles_leclerc Max is a certified everyone-hater
formula1_power this beach trip is my Roman Empire
logansargeant has posted
logansargeant my job is beach
liked by williamsracing, oscarpiastri, freedom4logan, and 95,294 others
L_sarg YEAAAHHHHH PODIUM ON HOME SOIL
l2_fan WTF IS A KILOMETEERRRRRRRRR
y/n.89 your fans scare me just a bit
logansargeant they don't bite y/n.89 YES THEY DO
williamsracing FREEDOOOMMMMM (did we do that correctly?)
formula1_fan Logan on the podium has boosted my morale for living
cota_official can't wait to see you again in October! (maybe top step this time?)
author guuyyyyssssss cota_official sorry... usa4logan HELLO??
oscarpiastri happy for you mate
barbie and what a great job you do at beach Logan
charles_leclerc has posted
charles_leclerc beach, please
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 1,843,923 others
sharl16 its the return of the blue filter
cha_cha_red the caption is giving "72 best beach instagram captions to share your vacation fun"
y/n.89 do you have his search history or something? charles_leclerc quiet or I'd have to drop something ferrarifan what do you know
ferrari_failure glad he's having some fun
red_flag the groups' captions hit hard - I'm dying
maxverstappen1 why don't you just say the word??
landonorris cause he's under contract charles_leclerc legally I can't say can't say anything, read my lips y/n.89 why is he crying, and what does that have to do with "pitch perfect" ??
scuderiaferrari remember to use sunscreen!
alex_albon has posted
alex_albon freedom or whatever
liked by lilymhe, albon_pets, logansargeant, and 835,920 others
alobono love the matching Williams tank-tops with Logan
y/n.89 sun or whatever
logansargeant sand or whatever oscarpiastri beach or whatever landonorris the sea or whatever
aa_on_top why he walking like that?
y/n.89 chafing alex_albon SHUT UP georgerussell63 penguin
williamsracing you look great Alex
y/n.89 not williams flirty on the main @.lilymhe they're trying to take your boyfriend lilymhe they can have him :) alex_albon LILY??
fan_of_f1 probably the only one who doesn't need sunscreen
albon_alex23 not Alex getting bullied on HIS post
landonorris has posted
landonorris my toes got wet
liked by oscarpiastri, y/n.89, lnfour, maxfewtrell, and 839,183 others
lnfournation big stretch
la_la_lando is he napping??
y/n.89 it was all too much for little Lando Norris maxverstappen1 couldn't handle losing at football landonorris I was JUST resting my eyes charles_leclerc suurreeee
ln_4 suns out, tits out too I guess
last_lap_lando are those....weights??
y/n.89 he said it was for the "pump"? idk if he found it tho y/n_nation she is really coming for them all today
mclaren watch out for sharks!
lando_norizz oh to just lie down on the sand and play with my best buds
oscarpiastri has posted
oscarpiastri I'm bob
liked by mclaren, lilyzneimer, auzzieauzzieauzzie, and 834,294 others
top_gun_enthusiast f1 & top gun crossover when??
y/n.89 Logan would go nuts - he has a crush on tom cruise logansargeant Y/NNNNNNN oscarpiastri it's true
oscah81 an aussie in his natural habitat
osc_pastry florida?? oscah81 the water??
hoe4oscarpiastri bless George and his shirtless pictures influences
danielricciardo can't believe you didn't invite me????
y/n.89 there was only room for one aussie plus we've already been to the beach together?? carossainz55 it's ok, they forgot me too Daniel landonorris guys be quiet, you're making y/n cry cause now she feels bad charles_leclerc she already cried because she saw a lonely crab DO NOT make it worse
mclaren ice bath thirst traps coming next?
micLaren_bois ahhhh thank you y/n for this content
georgerussell63 has posted
georgerussell63 gave out a master class on shirtless posts today
liked by carmenmmundt, mercedesamgf1, russellgeorge, and 194,284 others
russellgeorge the king of shirtless pictures has arrived
king_george63 when did George get a jeep?
y/n.89 he didn't, he asked these random guys if he could take a quick picture and ended up breaking the wipers logansargeant it's true, I was there georgerussell62 y/n you do not need to tell all my secrets. do I need to call toto? y/n.89 you don't scare me cause he liked me more than you mercedesamgf1 play nice George - toto
he-just-tUrned-in0-me the second picture is everthing
y/n.89 he ate the sand right after georgerussell63 Y/N!!!! alex_albon you new here? just ignore it
george_at_merc this just ties all of their posts together
williamsracing has posted
williamsracing podium, points, and some all American football
liked by f1, y/n.89, logansargant, arthur_leclerc, and 803,195 others
logan4freedom GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS
williamspookies GOD BLESS AMERICA y/n.89 AND GENTLEMEN logansargeant START. YOUR. ENGIIINNNEESSSSS alex_albon I am only slightly concerned
f1mia glad to have you all here! until next year RAWWRRRR
charles_leclerc can you please take out the gravel pleaasseeee
b0x_b0x_nightmare this year's podium was so wholesome
best_rookie I knooowww, max with Logan and y/n was a trio I didn't know I needed
tomcruise great job @.logansargeant, glad I got to watch
logansargeant OH MY GOSHHHHHH y/n.89 he just died but can you give miles teller my number please? maxverstappen1 y/n no, you have a boyfriend???? y/n.89 he's the one who told me to ask??????????
box_box_official this weekend will always be on repeat
williams_fan this whole weekend was so wholesome, can't wait for more
author oh, uhhhhh readers what did you do? author get your therapy bills ready?
formula1_fanatic can't wait to see what the rest of the season holds :D
TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen-ln4 @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @cassie0sstuff @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @v1naco @stan-josie @mellowarcadefun @badassturtle13 @beskardroids @callisposts @poppyalice2001 @juniper-july19
#arthur leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x reader#platonic grid x reader#max verstappen x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x driver!reader#formula 1 x you#carlos sainz x reader#lando norris x reader#oscar piastri x reader#logan sergeant x reader#Logan Sargeant on the podium#alex albon x reader#george russell x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#daniel riccardo x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 x you#f1 fanfic
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Y'all are going to like this one.
SWIFTIES DON'T TOUCH THIS POST WITH A TEN FOOT POLE, I SWEAR TO FUCKING HELL-
So my friend sent me this article, and I'm going to tell you why I think it's complete bullshit.
1) wishing us a happy Pride month is the BARE MINIMUM. As someone with her presence in the media and social influence, she could - and should - be doing SO much more than just wishing us a happy pride four days in.
2) "the singer has been an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community" not a good one. She seems to only remember us when it's convenient or benefits her in some way. Case in point:
2018 - "When it comes to feelings and when it comes to love and searching for someone to spend your whole life with. It's all just really really delicate. You know?" Taylor then performed her song "Delicate."
2023 - It’s painful for everyone, every ally, every loved one, every person in these communities.
In the first example, the intentional song reference comes off as extremely tacky. This is people's LIVES you're talking about. People are MURDERED for who they are and who they love (or don't love). This isn't an appropriate time to pull out the "oh-so-quirky" act and be cutesy.
In the second, the fact that she can't even center queer people in their own experience is so, SO telling. I promise, however painful it is for allies, it's 1000x worse for us to LIVE it. Allies don't have to wonder "am I going to get hate crimed wearing this?" before they leave the house - we frequently do. To not acknowledge that shows me that everything she says is performative at best.
3) I wouldn't call what she does "advocacy". She mentions us every now and then when it's convenient for her, profits off of us when we fit her marketing plan, and I've yet to find where she actually apologized for the homophobia in the original version of Picture to Burn. Also, she's real good friends with Travis Kelce's dad, who is a raging transphobe (and I bet his kids are, too). You don't get to call yourself an ally if you willingly allow the people around you to be violent bigots.
4) "always" is a strong word for someone who seems to show her support situationally at best. The full quote was "The way for that to happen is for us to continue to keep pushing governments to put protections in place for members of the LGBTQ community. And I promise to always advocate for that." Yet she doesn't do that.
5) what she speaks out, I've noticed that it's nearly always in the states that primarily agree with her. We don't see a whole lot of her "inspiring ally" speeches in places like Texas or Florida. But I've seen plenty of them come out of already notoriously queer-friendly places. If you aren't willing to face the heat of the difficult places along with the comfort of the easy ones, you don't get to call yourself an ally. Allyship is not easy. Anyone remember when Lady Gaga advocated for us in Russia, under threat of arrest, and her response was "arrest me, Russia! I don't give a fuck!"? Yeah, I've never seen even half that level of true commitment from Taylor.
6) STOP. MAKING. STRAIGHT GIRL SONGS. "GAY ANTHEMS"!!!! FFS it's such a slap in the fucking face of REAL, ACTUALLY QUEER ARTISTS that y'all keep calling these piss pathetic straight girl over produced crap songs "anthems". Fucking stop it. If they aren't queer, they don't qualify to be a queer anthem or icon. Start supporting ACTUAL queer artists with ⅛ this energy, for the love of FUCK. This bullshit pisses me off. Do you need a list of queer artists? I'll make you one by hand if you promise to stop trying to label Raylor Swift's straight girl shit songs as "gay anthems".
7) rainbows and gender subversion are not exclusively nor inherently queer. If that's our bar for "gay anthems", the bar is so low Lucifer himself needs a damn Webb Telescope to just barely see it from hell.
#anti taylor swift#taylor swift critical#anti swifties#swifties dni#SWIFTIES I SWEAR DO NOT TOUCH MY DAMN POST
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New in Monaco ♡‧ Charles Leclerc
A/N: Hi again! I was inspired by the Florida Logan blurb and decided to write a Charles one after listening to down bad. It’s a little longer than the previous blurb but I hope you enjoy reading it!
“Now I’m down bad”
The combination of the bright sun warming your shoulders, the sights, and the people made you smile as you walked around Monte Carlo. Landing a work opportunity here was feeling like a great idea, you truly couldn’t be happier. A camera was around your neck and you took pictures of everything that caught your attention. Instead of continuing to unpack you had decided to take a break and do some sightseeing before getting some food. Totally in awe of the sights you were not fully aware of your surroundings. As you headed towards the casino you bumped into someone. The person steadied you and you let out a light laugh. “Je suis désolé” the voice replied as the person apologized in French, “Moi aussi” you replied. “I should’ve been aware, my apologies” you added switching to English. The person you bumped into laughed and your eyes met his green eyes. “Are you okay?” He asked while still keeping a hand behind your back in case he needed to steady you. “Mhm,” you hummed.
“I’m Charles, Enchanté,” he said, extending his hand, stating your name you replied like he had. “What brings you to Monaco?” He asked. “Work, I just moved here actually!” You exclaimed with a little laugh. He smiled, “What do you work in?” Charles asked. “Brand marketing,” you replied. “How about you?” you inquired, “I drive race cars,” he said with a smile. Of course, you knew who he was, you were a fan but you had to downplay this. Turning your head to the side a little you looked at him and smiled, “I think I’ve seen you” you replied and he smiled. “Are you doing something right now?” He asked, scratching the back of his neck, “Besides walking around and trying to find a spot to eat, no not much” you said with a laugh. Charles laughed and beckoned you to follow him. Obliging you walked next to him as he pointed out some sights and cracked a few jokes.
He led you to his car, which as you knew would be a Ferrari, and opened the door for you, thanking him you got in. Before starting the engine he informed you of a really good spot he frequently ate at and took you there. The drive wasn’t long but very agreeable since you conversed the entire time.
Upon entering the cafe you smiled, it seemed like it was very tranquil and did not have a flock of tourists, few tables inside were occupied, Charles was seemingly familiar with the place so he led you to one of the tables out by the balcony and pulled the chair out for you. While waiting for the waitress you kept talking and looking at your surroundings. Charles had stopped talking and admired you for a minute, your head was a little turned to the side, and your line of sight was trained on the faraway horizon. A stray curl fell off your low bun and he fought the urge to reach out and twist the coil around his finger.
Suddenly self-conscious he stopped staring at you, and just then you turned to look at him with a smile so bright that it could start a thousand fires. God, you were gorgeous and you looked at him as if you sensed that he had been taking you in. Just then, the waitress came and you ordered.
Carefully you would sneak in glances at Charles, his hair was a little messy at the top but cut short at the sides, and his skin was tanned making the silver chain around his neck stand out in perfect contrast. He was attractive there was no denying that, but when he laughed and his eyes crinkled you saw a boyish charm to him and butterflies would flutter around your stomach.
Time had inevitably passed and neither of you had noticed, eventually you paid the check, something he insisted he take care of and he drove you home. “You can drop me off here at the entrance, it’s fine,” you said. Shaking his head he replied, “Non, I’d like to make sure you make it to your floor okay. I’m coming with you” he said. “In case the elevator gets stuck?” you asked with a laugh. He laughed, “Exactly, then you’ll be stuck with me and not alone,” he replied. Giggling you both exited the car and he accompanied you to your floor. Stopping at your door you unlocked your door and invited him in but he politely declined. “I had fun today, thank you for showing me around!” you happily said. “It was my pleasure.” “Would you like to intentionally go out someday, without bumping into each other on the street?” he asked. Smiling you nodded, “That would be great,” you replied grinning. Charles’s face lit up with a grin, and he exchanged numbers with you. Bidding goodbye to you you smiled and waved before closing the door with a smile on your face.
A few days had passed since your first encounter with Charles, and you were finally settled into your apartment. On your way home from work, you received a text and noticed that it was Charles asking if you were free that evening. Smiling you replied and soon enough he was asking you out, intentionally just as he’d promised to. Making the short walk home you stepped into the hallway as soon as the elevator doors opened and wasted no time in getting inside your apartment to get ready, While getting ready you realized you were down bad for him.
(all photo credits go to the respective owners)
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hi everyone, i'm technically homeless at the moment with my mother. and i could use some help!
for some background, me and my mom are both disabled. my mother has problems with her neurology, memory, and neck. i have problems with my stomach and endocrine system. i'm a transmasc neurodivergent guy.
we got kicked out because my mother stood up to my landlord/roommate/homeowner (whatever you want to call them, it wasn't a formal rental situation) for making an ableist comment regarding my autism to me. due to this confrontation, we were abandoned in another state due to them being the one who drove us down, and them refusing to apologize for said comment. that being said, we need to be able to get across-- from florida to tenneesee then to west virginia-- and also have enough money for gas and food for a few weeks. we had to use most of our savings to fix up my mom's car so we'd be able to escape. we're going to be out of food money if we make it to our hopefully safe location-- my aunt's in west virginia-- which is tough as is since i have a special diet due to my disability, and we probably need some money for a hotel stay or two in order to get across half the east coast.
any donations or sharing can help! whenever we make it to our destination and secure food, i'll be taking down this post.
paypal
thank you so much in advance.
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𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚜
chapter 1 - i remember everything
pairing: firefighter!steve x reader
summary: in high school, steve and y/n were the best of friends. now, she’s moved back to hawkins, and he hasn’t seen her since her graduation 7 years before.
warnings: smut to come in later chapters.
a/n: this is a christmas fic, split into parts. this part does not mention christmas because it is not christmas time yet. also, steve is 28 and reader is 25. this fic is basically a hallmark script but make it sexy and angsty. italics paragraphs are flashbacks. all parts will be out by december 25.
chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4
I remembered everything.
The bumps in the driveway that tousled my car like a carnival ride. The sparkling lake glistening with the sun’s reflection, reminiscent of all the times I snuck out there with my friends for a swim in high school. The beautiful cabin, two story but still small and cozy, haunted by all the scary stories that were told in it by high school students goofing off because they didn’t know what real life was.
The crack in the window where Robin tripped and fell into it that never got fixed because we never told my parents.
The guitar picks Eddie left all over the place, never remembering to take them home with him.
The small stain on the carpet from where the kids spilled a beer they’d stolen.
The huge tree by the water with Steve’s name carved into it, right next to mine, and a poorly shaped heart scribbled beside them.
Yes, I remembered everything.
I sighed as I unpacked my boxes, putting things away where I thought they should go. I never thought I’d be back in Hawkins, and I hadn’t yet decided how I felt about it, but the cards were dealt to me so I had to play them. It wasn’t so bad, though. I moved away less than a week after I graduated high school thinking that if I went to college in another state and started a new life, I could get away scott free from the things that were weighing on me. But it doesn’t work that way. You never get away from matters of the heart. They stay, and stay, and stay.
I stopped abruptly when I heard a knock at the door, going to check it and seeing Robin standing on the porch. I opened it quickly, “Rob!” I exclaimed as I pulled her into a hug. She squeezed me back with just as much force.
“You’re really back,” she sighed, “Your mom told me you’d be here and I was worried it wasn’t true!”
“Well here I am,” I giggled, pulling away reluctantly and letting her in. She walked with me to the dining room table where I had my things laid out and started helping me put them away.
“So how was Florida?” She asked.
“Hot,” I blandly offered, and she laughed.
“Seriously. You disappear the day you graduate and I hear from you maybe four times before we lose touch. I wanna know everything!”
I sighed, pausing for a moment, “I’m sorry about that, Robin. I didn’t mean to disappear on you, you know you’re one of the best friends I’ll ever have and I love you.”
“Oh, you don’t have to apologize to me, honey. I was never mad at you, but only because I understood why you left. Steve and Eddie, though… they went through it for the first year you were gone. Don’t even get me started on the kids.”
“Eddie understood, I know he did. He knew I was leaving, he was the only person I told because he caught me talking about my plane ticket on the phone. And the kids would never have understood, they were too young. Just needing to get out for a while would’ve sounded like a lame excuse to them.”
“But you didn’t just need to get out for a while, you needed to get away from Steve for a while”
“That’s not the only reason.”
“But it was a reason. Right?”
Hesitantly and carefully, I answered her, “Yes. It was. I couldn’t keep letting him break my heart. I needed space.”
“You couldn’t have found space in Hawkins? You had to leave?”
“There was no space in Hawkins. Wherever I went, he found me. He never left me alone. Even when I asked him to.”
“Because he loved you.”
“But it wasn’t enough,” I sighed exasperatedly, “Can we talk about something else?”
“Of course,” she smiled, “We’ll discuss Steve more later.”
“No we won’t,” I rolled my eyes, tossing a trinket from one of the boxes at her. She dodged it with a laugh, carrying on the conversation.
“Really though, how was Florida?”
“It was good. I dunno, I don’t think I fit in there.”
“Why’s that?”
“I’m not all beachy and outgoing like most people there were. But they were all super nice anyway. I made some friends at the college I went to, but I didn’t stay close to any of them after I graduated and started working.”
“Is that why you moved back? Cause you had no friends?”
“Robin!” I scolded, mouth dropping open. She laughed again, lighting up the room. “I did have friends, I’m just not a very social person!”
“Then why did you move back?”
I shrugged, “Florida isn’t the place for me, but I don’t know where is, so my mom suggested I move back here in the mean time.”
“And she’s just, like, letting you live in the cabin?”
“Yeah. I mean, they didn’t pay for it, and I’ve spent more time here than they have anyway. When my grandpa left it to them, they thought it was more of an extra bill than a vacation house. That’s why they’re gonna put it in my name if I decide to stay.”
“What?” she squealed, her eyes going wide as saucers, “So you could be little miss homeowner! That’s amazing! As bad as the economy is, I’d take that deal in a heartbeat!”
“I know, I know. I’m thinking about it. It is nice to be around family again. And you.”
“Just wait til you see the others. They’re gonna be SO excited you’re back! As a matter of fact why don’t we have them over here for a little reunion?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Do you even still hang out with them?”
“Eddie and Steve, yeah. We’re all still pretty close. The kids are all kinda doing their own thing now, but we still see each other a lot too, around town and such. And we still have a group chat, we just don’t send much but dumb memes in it.”
“Damn, Rob. Thanks for including me in this group chat!” I huffed, smacking her arm jokingly.
“You left, you gave up your groupchat rights!”
We laughed together and talked some more as we finished unpacking my boxes. I didn’t have much, no furniture or anything because the cabin was already completely furnished. My grandpa had impeccable taste, everything was extremely elegant while also being perfectly warm and rustic.
“Okay,” she sighed after we threw away the last piece of cardboard, “It’s dark now so I should probably get home, but let’s hang out again tomorrow! Come up to town! I opened up a music shop, you can come see!”
“That’s amazing! I’d love to come see!”
And with that, she was off. I breathed in a deep sigh, a smile on my face as I fell onto the couch and turned the TV on. It was nice to have Robin again. I was impressed with how quickly and swiftly we fell into old habits, gossiping and chatting like no time had passed and we were still just two kids. The person I was nervous to see again was Steve.
-
The next day, I woke up and showered, preparing myself to go to town. I needed to pick up groceries, and I also wanted to stop by Robin’s music shop, excited to see her hard work paid off.
I slipped on a pair of running shorts and a crop top, throwing a loose cardigan on over it and slipping into a pair of tennis shoes. My hair was curled and I had on light makeup. I felt pretty, but not overdone. I wanted to at least look decent enough that, if I ran into someone I knew, I wouldn’t be mortified.
The grocery store was desolate as I pulled into the parking lot, only a few cars in the spaces and a firetruck parked by the door. I supposed public servants do need to shop, too. I wondered if it was someone I knew, I remember my dad was friends with some of the town’s firemen when I was younger, but I shrugged it off, wanting to get in and out hassle free.
As soon as I walked in the door, though, I was greeted with a high pitched voice, “Y/N?”
I turned to see who it belonged to and was delighted to see Max, behind one of the registers wearing a store polo.
“Hey!” I grinned wide, rushing over to her and going in for a hug. She’d been like a little sister when I’d lived in Hawkins before, and I had to admit, I missed her while I was gone.
“What’re you doing here?” she asked, leaning back to stare at me, “I haven’t seen you in like… five years!”
“I know, I know. I moved back!”
“What? Like forever?” she asked, hope creeping into her voice.
“Maybe. I haven’t decided yet. But definitely for a while. What about you? How long have you been working here?”
“Two years now. Dustin works here, too, but he’s off today.”
“That’s a shame. I’ll have to come back when he’s here and see him!”
“Oh, you should see everyone! We’ve all missed you so much! Even the ones of us that won’t admit it,” she giggled with an eye roll, “Mike has always been stubborn and dumb.”
“Well that’s okay,” I hummed, “I’m here now, so it’s all okay.”
“Yeah, but next time you leave, can you warn a girl first? I missed you a lot!”
“I know, I’m sorry. Scouts honor, next time I’ll shove you in my suitcase and bring you with me.”
“Perfect,” she beamed, her teeth as pearly white as always. She looked older, and she’d grown up beautifully. I didn’t know if she was still with Lucas, but if so, he was lucky.
I let go of her, getting started on my shopping. I didn’t get much, just the basics, and a few minutes later I was done and ready to check out. I wasn’t paying attention and accidentally bumped into the guy in front of me in line.
“Oh God, I’m so sorry!” I rushed out as I pulled my cart away gently. He turned around and my mouth fell open as I recognized his pretty face.
“Y/N,” he said, his voice steady but his face gave him away. He was in utter shock.
“Steve,” I offered back, staring at him, waiting for what he had to say.
Max interrupted the short awkward silence, “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you Y/N’s back.”
He sent her a glare then turned back to me, scanning over me, settling on all the parts of me that had changed. I’d filled out more, and I could tell he noticed. I could tell he appreciated it.
I scanned over him as well, taking note of his khakis and the Hawkins Fire Dept T shirt he wore. So the truck was his. Interesting. He looked good, better than ever. He was more chiseled than I remembered, and it worked for him, from his head to his toes. And his hair was as iconic as always.
“Why’re you back?” he asked me, his voice devoid of much emotion.
“Just wanted to come back for a while.”
“A while? So not forever?”
“I dunno, Steve. I haven’t thought that far ahead,” I breathed out a laugh.
“You never did.”
My eyes dropped, shame creeping in. “I’m sorry for how I left, Steve. I just had to go.”
“Yeah,” he deadpanned, “It’s fine. Is what it is. It’s your business anyway.”
“Steve, please don’t do that,” I sighed.
“Do what?”
“That thing you always do where you pretend you’re not hurt.”
“I’m not. I might’ve been seven years ago, but I’ve had a lot of time for that wound to close, Y/N.”
“So you’re not happy to see me at all?”
“Not as happy as I would’ve been to see you on my doorstep that day.”
I knew exactly what day he was talking about. It was the Saturday, two weeks after I graduated. He’d asked me a month in advance to come over, and I agreed, not even thinking about the fact that I was leaving. He’d consistently asked me for reassurance that I would be there, and every time I promised I would. But I wasn’t.
“I’m just so sorry Stevie. I can’t even tell you how sorry I am. Of all the people I hurt, I regret hurting you the most.”
“It’s fine. Like I said, seven years,” he shrugged, grabbing his receipt from Max and walking out. I watched him go, dejected, melancholy overtaking me.
“You ok? That was rough to watch,” Max gave me a sympathetic look and I forced a smile.
“I’m good, Maxy. Like he said. Seven years.”
She stared at me for a moment, as if she was deciding what to say, an internal battle behind her eyes. “He had a party planned for you that day.”
“What?”
“Yeah. With me and the other guys and Robin and everybody. He was so excited, he never shut up about it. Then he found out you left and cancelled. He hasn’t really been the same since.”
“How’d he find out I left?”
“Your dad told him. He went over to see you and you weren’t there.”
I sighed, my eyes welling up. I couldn’t believe I’d screwed up that badly. All I wanted was a getaway, I never knew I’d be hurting so many people. I never knew he cared so much.
“Max, I-“
“Was in love with him. I know. Everybody knows. That’s why we didn’t understand why you left.”
“He wanted girl after girl after girl. And it was never me. I was never his type. I needed to get away to get over him or I was gonna live a life full of heartbreak and disappointment. But now I see how selfish that was.”
“It wasn’t selfish. Just not well thought out. Have you at least gotten over him?”
“I thought so, til I saw him look at me like that.”
I finished checking out and promised Max I’d be back in to see her, then headed to the music store. The exterior was nice. It was a painted brick building, colorful and bright. There was a huge mural on the side of it, and I knew it was all Robin’s doing because I remembered that particular building being boring and run down before I left.
I walked inside, looking around to see the inside was just as amazing. I was honestly impressed with how well she’d done everything, from organizing to decorating.
“Rob, this is awesome!” I exclaimed as I walked up to the counter. She’d been looking down, doing some kind of paperwork, but when she looked up and saw me she put it down and ran around the counter.
“You really came!”
“Of course I came, have I ever let you down?” I asked, laughing, then added, “Well, other than that one time.”
“You’re right. You did always used to come through. I don’t think you ever missed anything.”
“And I definitely wouldn’t miss this! If I’d known you opened it, I would’ve been here that day to watch you cut the ribbon or whatever!”
“Oh, it’s okay, it wasn’t that big of a ceremony. You know nothing is big in Hawkins unless you’re rich. But I get good business and I’ve kept the doors open. Plus, all the high school girls like to take pictures in front of the mural outside for their instagrams, and that’s actually drummed up a lot of business.”
“I’d imagine so. Show me around?”
She took me to the instruments section, explaining why she’d organized it the way she had and how it made the most sense. Then we wandered to the sheet music, and then to the records. Finally, we hit the cds and a little caddy full of Apple, Spotify, Iheartradio and Youtube gift cards. She also had a small section with assorted local snacks.
“This is great, really,” I smiled, “I’m so proud of you.”
“Well, I actually got the idea from you,” she nonchalantly shrugged.
“When?” I furrowed my brows and asked.
“One time, I was talking to you about how I’m just a band geek and you told me band geeks make it far in life. You suggested I either get famous or open up a huge store full of band stuff and make tons of money. You really thought I had it in me to do both.”
“You did have it in you. You could be in a real band right now if you wanted.”
She full on belly laughed, waving the thought off. “Whatever. Change of subject, I heard you saw Steve.”
“Heard from who?”
“From Steve. He called me mad because I didn’t tell him you were home.”
“Why was he so mad?”
“Well, he’ll say it’s because he just wasn’t expecting to see you and would be happy if you’d have just stayed gone. But I know it’s because he does want you here, more than anything, and all his old feelings are coming back, and he would’ve liked some wanting before seeing your face in the middle of the grocery store after seven years.”
“It wasn’t the middle of the grocery store,” I rolled my eyes, “It was the front. And he was not happy to see me, sorry to be the one to burst your bubble. Old feelings can’t come up if there weren’t any in the first place, Im just a girl he used to be friends with.”
“It was always more with you and Steve,” she shrugged, “Everyone else saw it.”
“If I’d known he planned a party for me, I would’ve been there that day.”
“I know. And he knew, too. That’s why he told us to never tell you. He didn’t want you to feel guilty, and he didn’t want you to have to come back just for him.”
I sighed, feeling even worse than I did when Steve was staring at me with that look in his eyes. I knew him, I knew his faces, and I knew what he looked like when he was hurt. I really did a number on him.
“I don’t know if I can make this one better, Rob.”
“You can. He’ll get over his anger, I promise. The way he felt about you doesn’t just go away, he has a big ol’ soft spot for you. There’s nothing he could ever hold against you, not even this.”
I nodded with yet another sigh, “Anyways, what about you? Any ladies on the roster?”
She looked shocked I’d asked, “Bold aren’t you?”
“Always have been!”
She proceeded to tell me about all the girls she’d been interested in, and all the ones she’d dated since I left. It was nice to see her so comfortable with herself, and it was even nicer to hear that she’d gotten some really cool girlfriends.
“So who are you dating now?” I asked, leaning on the counter, fully intrigued.
“Well, there’s this lady, Shelly. She sold me this building. She’s older than me, but goodness, what I wouldn’t do to -“
“You don’t have to continue that,” I giggled, “I catch your drift. Is she into you?”
“Well… she’s recently divorced from a man, but sometimes she flirts like she’s curious or something.”
“Maybe she is. Maybe she wants to taste your cherry chapstick,” I stuck my tongue at her jokingly.
We were interrupted by the bell above the door, and I turned to see Steve walking in, Eddie on his tail wearing the exact same uniform.
“Oh,” he stared blankly when he saw me, “I’ll come back later.”
“No,” I stopped him, “If me being here is that big of a deal then I’ll go.”
Robin scoffed, “Neither of you idiots are going anywhere. We’re all friends here.”
“It’s ok Rob,” I sighed, “Really, I’m fine with leaving.”
“Steve, she doesn’t have to leave, man. We’re not gonna be here long, and she’s not hurting anybody,” Eddie put in his two cents, and I smiled.
“Hey Eddie,” I walked over to him and he opened his arms wide for a hug.
“Hey Y/N. I’ve missed you.”
“Missed you more,” I poked him as I pulled away, taking in his short hair and muscles more formed than I’d ever seen them. “Fire department make you chop your curls off?”
“Unfortunately.”
“It’s a nice look,” I shrugged, “Very handsome and mature.”
Steve cleared his throat and we turned to him. “Relax,” Eddie sighed, “We’re not flirting, bro. That’s what you guys do.”
Steve blushed. He couldn’t stop himself. “Give it a rest, Eddie.”
“Not until you stop your temper tantrum and let the past go.”
“I’m not throwing a temper tantrum,” Steve rolled his eyes, and Robin took it upon herself to lighten the mood.
“Anyways,” she smiled brightly, “How’s work going today, boys?”
“Well, we have a kitten in the firetruck,” Steve sighed, and she laughed.
“A cat?”
“Yeah, Steve rescued it from a bush, it’s little foot was stuck in one of the branches,” Eddie patted Steve on the back.
“It looks like that cat Y/N used to have, the one that she cried for a week straight when it died,” Steve mused, smiling at me for the first time since I’d seen him again as if involuntarily. He caught himself though, and turned away.
“You remember that?” I asked.
“I remember everything,” he shrugged, “Wanna see it?”
“Of course!” I squealed, and he walked me outside, opening the drivers’ side door and pulling it out.
It was cute, white with silver spots all over it. It meowed as he handed it to me, climbing into my arms and clinging on to me for dear life.
“Oh, he’s perfect,” I hummed as I stared at him, holding him close to me and giving his forehead kisses.
“He’s yours,” Steve said, his eyes trained on me and the cat, “If you want him, I mean.”
I looked at him, seeing if there was any sign of joking but there was none. “I’d love to take him!”
“I thought of you when I saw him,” he admitted to me, staring at his feet and swaying nervously.
“I didn’t think you even still thought about me.”
“All the time.”
His voice was almost too low for me to hear, but I caught it and my heart sped up.
“Steve, I’m sorry again. Really. I missed you every day. If I could go back and be there that day…”
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” he sighed, “I was angry when I first saw you. I’m not now. I just needed to get over the initial shock, that’s all.”
“So you don’t hate me?”
“I couldn’t if I wanted to. You were my best friend. I just… I just wanna understand why you left. You never told me. Nobody ever told me.”
“It’s…” I hesitated. How could I explain it to him? “It’s a long story.”
“Of course,” he nodded, “Well whenever you’re ready to, we can talk.”
“Okay.”
We stared at each other for a moment before Eddie broke the silence, “You ready to go Steve? They’re gonna be sending out a search party soon if we don’t get back.”
“Yeah,” he nodded then turned to me, “See you later, Y/N. Take care of the cat.”
“I will. Bye,” I smiled, watching him walk away.
Well, at least the anger had subsided. But I was never going to be able to explain the reason I left.
The night of my graduation
The ceremony had taken ages. I wouldn’t have cared if not for the heels that had been cramping my feet all day and the tight white dress that I wanted to rip off. I groaned as I walked to the parking lot where my family was waiting, along with my friends.
The first person that greeted me was Steve. He was always the first to greet me, no matter the place or occasion. In his hand, he held my favorite slippers, fuzzy and cozy and just what my feet needed.
“Aww, Stevie, you brought me slippers?” I cooed, pouting at his kind gesture.
“When you told me you were wearing those ridiculous heels I knew I needed to bring them so I wouldn’t have to listen to you complain about your feet hurting.”
I ripped my heels off with a vengeance and replaced them with the slippers that had cute smiley faces on them, and my face matched the expression. I pulled Steve into a hug so tight I thought we might suffocate each other, breathing him in.
“This is why you’re my best friend,” I hummed into his chest.
We didn’t let go of each other for a minute or two, soaking in the moment. Our hugs were always like that. It always felt like we were never going to see each other again. Only this time, we really weren’t. He didn’t know that, though.
He pulled away, looking in my eyes, a sparkle in his that was all for me. His eyes trailed down to my open gown and the dress under it, and he raised his brows.
“You look good.”
“Just good?”
“Really good.”
And that moment dragged on with a heated glance shared between us, eyes locked on each other and refusing to move until Robin barreled over to us, kids in tow and Eddie following.
“Quit hogging her, dingus, she’s too pretty to only talk to you,” she rolled her eyes, hugging me tightly and chit chatting about the ceremony. Steve stayed quiet though, and that heated gaze didn’t dissipate. Something felt different. Something was off, in the best way.
My family joined us, offering to bring us all back to the cabin for a barbecue and we eagerly agreed. I rode with Steve, naturally, the kids rode with my parents, and Eddie and Robin took his van.
The ride felt longer than it should’ve, tension in the air.
“Steve, what’s happening?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve never run out of things to talk about,” I shrugged, leaning over to brush a stray strand of hair behind his ear.
“We haven’t run out of things to talk about. It’s just, sometimes when I’m with you, nothing needs to be said.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“I think so,” he glanced at me, his eyes sharp and cutting into my heart, right where I wanted him most. Right where he already was.
Minutes later, we pulled in the rough driveway, my hair flying all over my face. He chuckled, smoothing it out over my head before we got out, joining everyone else by the lake.
“They’ve got it decked out,” I commented as we approached, and Steve just smiled bashfully. “Did you have something to do with this?”
“Maybe.”
I giggled lightly, turning away from him to greet everyone else.
“Y/N, Steve, you made it!” my mom beamed, pulling us into a hug, “I see you ditched the gown!”
“Yeah, it was itchy,” I grimaced, remembering the horrible material.
“Well I wanted to take pictures but we can do it later,” she shrugged, leading us to the picnic table. The benches were full, though, so Steve pulled a big folding chair up and sat down, pulling me down beside him, my legs over his lap. That wasn’t unusual for us, we were always touchy and feely, always beside eachother somehow. Nobody even found it odd anymore, though the jokes about us getting together never ceased.
Everyone laughed and had a good time, and as the night wore on, I got a little sleepy. Steve and I had been up and about, but we were back in our chair, my head laid in the crook of his neck and his arms around me.
“Wanna go for a walk?” he asked me, watching everyone else continue their good time. I nodded, standing up. He stood up after me, grabbing my hand and leading me away.
We walked through a trail in the woods we’d found the first time we snuck out to the cabin together.
“Remember the first time we came out here?” he asked me, and I nodded with a laugh.
“I slipped in mud and fell on my ass. I fractured my foot, too, and I couldn’t walk. I was disgusting, but you still carried me back to the car.”
“I don’t mind getting a little dirty,” he shrugged with a wink, and I rolled my eyes. “Not with you, at least.”
Finally, we reached our destination, a clearing by the water. It had the prettiest view of the sky.
“Swim with me,” he stated, as if it was more of a demand than a question.
“Steve!” I huffed, “I can’t swim in this dress!”
“Then take it off. You have on a bra and panties, right?”
“Well… y-yeah, but-“
“Just do it. You only graduate high school once, do something crazy with me! We’re best friends, right?” he coerced, squeezing my hands and pulling me closer to the water.
I sighed, nodding slowly. “Will you unzip me?”
He walked behind me and laid his hands on my shoulders. They were warm and heavy, his grip on me soft but firm. his fingers trailed down my back to the little metal piece and he pulled it down, exposing black lace and my plain black thong. I turned to him, letting the white material fall to the ground, and the way his eyes lingered in all the places a friend shouldn’t look was hard to miss.
“Why would you wear that to graduate?” he asked, “Were you planning on getting lucky tonight!”
“I’m already lucky tonight, Steve,” I sighed, “I’m with you. Now take off your clothes and come on!”
He chuckled, his eyes darker than they’d been a moment ago, and pulled his shirt over his head, then kicking off his pants. I was greedy taking him in, his boxers tight and leaving little to the imagination.
Steve and I had seen each other like that before. We’d walked in on each other changing, and we’d swam in regular swimsuits. All of our insecurities had already been exposed so many times, so none of them even mattered at all. This felt different, though. Being in nothing but dainty lingerie had me shy, exposed.
He approached me slowly, his hands landing on my hips, his eyes meeting mine and staying. He was so close I could feel his body heat radiating off of him, goosebumps prickling my skin.
“Race you,” he smirked suddenly, twirling me out of the way and sliding past me, running to the water and jumping in. I rolled my eyes and laughed, following him and jumping on his back. We fell into a fit of giggles together as he tossed me off, pulling me into his front instead.
The giggles died out, replaced by heavy breath.
“I won,” he whispered.
“What’s your prize?” I responded breathily.
He groaned, leaning his head down into my neck and inhaling.
“You’re driving me crazy. You’re my best friend. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t…”
“Shouldn’t what?”
“Shouldn’t love you so much.”
“I love you too, Steve,” I giggled, but he stopped me, his thumb running over my bottom lip.
“I don’t think I could’ve made it these last couple years without you,” he admitted. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. Don’t tell the kids.”
“Oh, I won’t, they’d be crushed,” I nodded dramatically.
For a second I thought he’d kiss me. I thought he’d kiss me and I wouldn’t have to leave. He leaned in so close, his lips were less than a breath away from mine. But then he pulled to the side and kissed my cheek instead, then trailed his lips down, ghosting over the sensitive skin of my neck.
I let out a raspy breath, “Steve,” I barely moaned. I needed him so bad I could feel it, I could hear it and see it. I’d been in love with him for far too long. His hand tangled in my slightly wet hair, tugging lightly, pulling me in. His other landed on my side, trailing down my thigh and pulling my leg over his hip. I could feel everything, and I didn’t know how to take it all.
All of a sudden, he pulled away, his hand still in mine but the warmth gone. I whined at the loss of contact.
“We’re supposed to be swimming!” he chuckled, haphazardly pulling me under with him. And like that, the moment was replaced with something lighter, friendlier, but still close.
Later that night, Steve drove me back to my parents’ house. As he parked in the driveway, he turned to me.
“I can’t wait to see you again,” he whispered bashfully.
I stared at my lap, not knowing what to say. I wanted to tell him I was leaving, but he would just beg me to stay and wear me down until I agreed, and I would spend the rest of my life hanging on his arm next to whatever girl he wanted more than me. I was never going to be it for him. I was never going to be what he wanted. I wasn’t enough.
“Goodbye, Steve,” I gave him a sad smile and got out of the car, running inside the house.
#steve harrington#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington smut#steve harrington x reader#stranger things#steve x reader#fireman!steve harrington#fireman!steve
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Remember the time
This is my first time writing something and publicly publishing it. This is based off the Remember the time by Michael Jackson. Pleaseee show some love lol. I do want to say that the OC is a black character but anyone can read. I was inspired to write this because of @raya-hunter01 & @whatdoeseverybodywant Let me know what you guys think!
Pairing: Kiyah (OC) x Jimmy uso. (Theres not enough Jimmy Uso fics on here. I did it for my man.)
Warnings: cursing, smut, smoking, long read.
Bold italics are thoughts, italics are both dialogue during a smut scene and when anything is referenced. Red bold italics are the song lyrics
Word count: 9,581.
Summary: Jimmy comes back to New York after Money In The Bank and Remembers the time he had with Kiyah.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
An uneasy feeling settled in Jimmy’s stomach ever since he found out that New York was the next arena after Money In The Bank. Being in the city was as the ghost of her was going to trailing over him. It’s been three months since he’s last seen her and he wasn’t healed but it was easier to be away from here. Being here reminded him of everything he used to love to do… with who he loved to do it with.
Do you remember, when we first met girl?
When Covid hit and the whole world was forced to stay quarantined at home, due to being in a really depressive state, Kiyah really isolated herself from everyone. She was in a funk that she desperately wanted to get rid of, and in late 2020 when her favorite cousin Bianca, called her to inform that she was going to be in Tampa, FL for work until further notice, Bianca invited Kiyah to stay with her and Tez. Kiyah packed her bags and caught the first available flight to Florida, leaving her life behind in New York. She attended all the smackdown shows with Bianca, watching how she was really dominating in the women division as a newbie.
Backstage if she wasn’t hanging out with Bianca, she was hanging out with Dawkins and Tez. The wrestlers were actually pretty funny to be around, the girls were nicer than she thought they would be - Well, except for a couple who didn’t really matter - and the guys were funny to be around. She would walk around the halls aimlessly when it became too much to be around and one day, she found herself bumping into Jimmy…. literally.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.” Kiyah quickly apologized to the person, her eyes slitting up to fixate her gaze on the man she bumped into. His smile took her breath away, damn who was he?
“You good, it was my fault I wasn’t looking where I was going. You okay?” He asked.
Kiyah nodded her head, not trusting her voice at the moment. She knew she would embarrass herself if she stayed in this man’s presence any longer. Clearing her throat, she tries to excuse herself. “Well, I’ll be on my way.”
“Wait…. Are you a new hire? I’ve never seen you before?” Jimmy asked before she could walk away.
“No, I’m Bianca’s cousin. Just here to give my support while I can.” Kiyah replied and Jimmy nodded his head understanding.
“That’s lit. Well, I hope you’re feeling welcomed. I know being around a whole bunch of athletes can be intimidating.”
She let out a small huff of laughter. “Please. You guys eat more junk food than anyone I know. Wings and Pizza every other Wednesday… Really?” She asked teasingly which caused Jimmy to laugh.
“Aye, we work hard. Gotta enjoy ourselves somehow.”
“I bet.”
Jimmy flashed another smile to her, who was this girl? “I never caught your name?” He asked.
“I never gave it. Seeing as you bumped into me, I think it’s only right you introduce yourself first.” Kiyah suggested.
“Could’ve sworn we bumped into each other.”
Kiyah shrugged her shoulders playfully, a small smile eased its way into her face. “I never denied that but enlighten me anyways.”
Jimmy chuckled, raising his hand out to her, “My name is Jimmy, and you are?”
Kiyah reached her hand out to clasp their hands together and shook it. “Kiyah. Kiyah Blair.” She introduced.
Do you remember when we fell in love?
“How long is it going to take you to come over here?” Kiyah asked over the FaceTime call as she continued to clean her room, folding the laundry on her bed. Her best friend Jimmy glanced at the screen to watch her for a quick second before turning his attention back to the road.
“It won’t take me too long, I just gotta make a stop somewhere before I come. Make sure you leave that door unlocked for me; you know I don’t like to wait.” Jimmy instructed.
Kiyah smacked her teeth, dropping the shirt she was folding on the bed and turned to face the screen. “Boy, how you gone tell me what to do with my own shit? Imagine trynna run my house.”
“Imagine playing with my face like you not finna leave the door unlocked for me anyways, know who to play with Kiyah.” Jimmy retorted back to her, not even turning to look at the screen.
And maybe she shouldn’t have thought it but as she continued to stare at her who she considered her best friend drive, she focused on the featured on his face and bit her lip because why did he have to be so damn fine?
After realizing a couple seconds of seconds of silence filled the air, Kiyah smacked her teeth again. “Okay Jimmy whatever. Just hurry up, it’s your turn to cook and I’m hungry.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lemme go make this quick stop and Imma be over there.” He stated before he quickly hung up the phone.
Kiyah let out a small huff and let herself scan the room before her eyes caught the mirror. Should I change? She thought about it but opted against it, he’d already seen her outfit over FaceTime, so there was no point. Deciding to distract herself from overthinking, she picked up the shirt she had dropped and started folding again to clear her bed. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Jimmy walked into the house with his hands full of treats, dropping them on the table. Kiyah walked out the kitchen and her eyes immediately met his, locking eyes with him.
“You just gonna stand there or you gone tell me wassup?” He asked, raising his eyebrow at her with a small grin on his face. Kiyah rolled her eyes before walking to him and they took each other into a strong embrace, rocking back and forth.
“Does that mean you’re not mad at me anymore?” She asked teasingly
“You know I can’t stay mad at you Ma.”
Kiyah’s heart seized at his words, pulling back from the hug, the bags on the table catching her attention making a smile etch its way on her face.
“No way you went to India’s Grill halfway across town, aren’t you on a diet right now? Jey’s gonna have that ass if he finds out you cheating again.”
Jimmy let his head fall as a dramatic groan slipped through his lips. “Jey not gonna know shit if you don’t tell ‘em nothing.”
Jimmy walked passed her to make his way to her living room, walking around as if he paid the bills to her home. He sat down on her couch, placing his feet on her coffee table and one hand behind his head. “You gone snitch on me Ma? After everything we been through?”
Kiyah shook her head as if she was disagreeing but in reality, she was trying to get herself together. Here was Jimmy: in an all black hoodie, no shirt underneath, cuban link peeking through the part that was unzipped, black joggers and all white forces. Fuuucckk, who told him to look this good.
“Now you know I don’t be telling nobody yo damn business” she finally replied as she walked to the door to lock it. Jimmy took that time to roam over the outfit Kiyah seemed to have on.
Itty bitty tight ass spaghetti strap crop top with matching booty shorts to go with it.
“You was expecting someone else to come before me?” He asked, catching her gaze.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I know you ain’t wearing that for David lame ass.”
Kiyah rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time. Jimmy never liked anyone she called herself entertaining, always calling them lame, but she couldn’t be too mad… she kept that same energy with all his other bitches too.
“Please be so serious right now. I wore this for myself.” Kiyah stated, walking to the couch to take her seat next to him. Jimmy let his feet fall from the coffee table, opting to be in his most comfortable position, man spreading. He cut his eyes at her as he rubbed his beard.
“Hmm, for yourself huh?”
“Yes, for myself.”
Licking his lips, he slowly nodded his head in amusement. He pulls a blunt of his pocket and pats his other side for a lighter. “Can you light me up? I think I forgot my lighter in the car.”
Kiyah reached forward for the ashtray that was right next to him on the couch, grabbing the lighter that was settled there from the last time they smoked together. Jimmy raised his arms, wrapping it tight around her body and moved her so that her legs was over his lap making her straddle him.
From that action alone, she knew he was already high. She watched as he placed the blunt in-between his lips and looked up at her waiting for her to light him up. Kiyah squeezed her legs against his and felt her heart clench at the eye contact. She bit her lip, flickering the lighter and leaning back slightly to avoid the smoke to get in her face when she lit him up.
A small smirk formed on his face when he felt her squeeze him, but he said nothing, taking a hit of his blunt instead. “Whatchu nervous for?” He asked, voice low now, blowing the white cloud of smoke towards her teasingly.
“Jimmy…. please stop playing with me.”
“Who said I was playing?” He asked raising an eyebrow, waiting for her response and when she stayed silent, he just chuckled. “Closed mouths don’t get fed you know?”
Kiyah ignored him, taking the blunt from his mouth and placing it in hers; inhaling the strong substance for the courage that she was going to need for this conversation. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Jimmy let his hands start to caress her legs, rubbing them up and down. His brown orbs roaming over her outfit once again, his eyes catching her hardening nipple through her thin ass shirt. “Don’t wear this shit for nobody else, you hear me?”
“Jimmy-” She starts to protest but he cut her off.
“You hear me Kiyah? Don’t wear this shit for nobody else. I’m not playing with you.”
You could cut the tension with a knife, but she didn’t understand how they got here so fast. His hands trailed up, gripping on her ass to push her closer to him making her pussy press against his dick. Kiyah takes a small sharp breath in, one of her hands moving to rest on his shoulders as she locked eyes with him.
A small smirk took over her face now, “who said I was playing?” she replied, placing the blunt back in her mouth to take one last pull. When she leaned back to blow the smoke away from him, his right hand swiftly cupped her jaw, bringing her closer to him parting his lips to inhale the smoke she needed to exhale.
Kiyah’s felt her skin heat up as she shotgun her last hit to him. Her heart felt as if it were to beat out of her chest. Jimmy and her played the game of push and pull. They flirted with each other and got super touchy but that was all that ever happened. They’ve kissed once at a Christmas party, a year ago and they were both drunk off their asses. And even then, nothing compared to the feeling that tonight gave them.
“Jimmy.” Kiyah whispered and Jimmy let his gaze flicker from her lips to her eyes.
“Say it.” Jimmy demanded in a low tone. The octave of his voice dropped so low; Kiyah felt goosebumps form on her skin from just his voice alone. Say it. He said as if he knew what was going through her head.
“Say what?”
“Say it Kiyah…. We both grown. Just say it.”
A million things ran through her mind. Surely, he wasn’t saying what she thought he was saying. Because they’re just friends; always have been… right?
“Jimmy… I-“ she started but was stuck. She tried to push herself from him, she needed space. She couldn’t think being so close to him. Not with his hands on her, or his smell overwhelming her. But his hands held her in place.
“Jimmy, we’re friends-“ she was cut off.
“We ain’t no fuckin’ friends and we haven’t been just friends for a while now.”
“Jimmy that’s not funny” she whispered shaking her head. This has to be a joke, and I’m not laughing. “Whatever joke you’re playing at- “
“I like you Kiyah. No jokes, no pranks no tests. Sober or high it’s all the same. I like you.” Jimmy stated wrapping both arms around her body to lock her in an embrace, he shifted to get comfortable and that caused him to grind against her making a small whimper leave her mouth.
“Say it.” He whispered this time, but she refused. Instead, she leaned forward pushing their lips together to lock their lips in a kiss.
Do you remember, back in the fall. We’d be together all day long.
The phone buzzing consistently was the only thing Kiyah could hear from her sleep. She lets out an annoyed groan. who the hell is calling at this time? She raised from the bed to grab her phone, and answered it without looking at the caller I.D.
“What.” She answered.
“Damn Ma, that’s how you greet me after 3 days of phone tag?” Jimmy’s voice was heard through the phone. And even though it caused butterflies to erupt in her stomach, she was tired.
“Baby… I’m tired. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately.” Kiyah admitted.
“That’s cause you swear you can’t sleep unless it's on top of me.” He jokingly replies and she lets out a small laugh.
“You’re so warm and cuddly, I feel safe enough with you to go to sleep.” She shyly confesses. “I can’t wait to see you next week.”
“Girl when you see me next week, ain’t finna be no sleeping.”
“Aht Aht, Lemme sleep baby. You know I be sleepy.”
“Well take yo sleepy ass to the door. I had Roman deliver something expensive and I just got the message that it’s outside.”
Kiyah smacked her teeth. “What I tell you about buying me expensive gifts? I just be wanting your love.”
“You my princess, you know I gotta spoil you. Now go open the door and tell Daddy you love him for the gift."
Kiyah slides off the bed to trudge towards the front door. Jimmy has gotten into the habit of buying Kiyah gifts once she starts feeling lonely because he’s unable to be there for work. Last month he had bought her tickets to see her favorite singer, Justin Bieber. She always told him the gifts were unnecessary, but he was stubborn, swore he just wanted to drown her in gifts just to see her smile.
Kiyah slowly opens the door, to be met with Jimmy and his contagious smile which caused her to yell and jump on him. Wrapping her arms around his neck and legs around his waist and she let the tears that she didn’t know were going to fall…fall. Jimmy caught her with one hand around her waist and walked into the house, kicking the door shut with his foot.
“I thought you were coming next week.” She asked tearfully, keeping her face in his neck and tightening her grip on him as if she couldn’t believe he was here.
“I know when you need me. Two nights ago you said you had a horrible night so I came running.”
Kiyah pulled her face back from his neck and placed multiple pecks on his lips. “Thank you, Papa.” She whispered and he chuckled, pecking her lips one more time.
“You know I got you.” He replied, setting down his bag on the floor and walked towards the bedroom. “Now let’s get you some sleep. I know before this you was tossing and turning.” He stated knowingly and Kiyah knew she wasn’t going to fall asleep just yet. Not when her heart was racing with him making his presence known.
“Are you hungry? I made some honey glazed chicken and rice earlier; I can get you some.” She offered, but Jimmy laid her on the mattress, kicking his shoes off and slid in right beside her.
“How bout we just relax. You know you tired, stop fighting yo sleep and lay down.” And it wasn’t a suggestion. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it blindly behind him, grabbing kiyah and pull her on top of him and wrapped one arm around her and his other hand grasping her leg to move it up so it was over his waist. “When we wake up later, it’ll be just us and you can feed me all you want.”
Kiyah presses a kiss to his chest where his heart was located. “I love you.” She whispered before settling herself on him, cheek pressed against his chest as she closed her eyes to try to fall asleep.
“I love you too Mama.” He murmured softly, rubbing the hand that was behind her back to help her fall asleep.
___________________________________________
When Kiyah woke up, it was due to the slight heavy movement on top of her. Her body felt rejuvenated from the almost 10 hours of sleep she had seemed to have gotten. Lifting her hand to rub her eyes to wipe the sleep from her eyes before she slowly opened them, looking down to see that Jimmy flipped their positions, his head positioned on top of her breasts and his arm sprawled across her stomach.
She blinked a few more times to make sure she wasn’t tripping, but sure enough the events of last night flooded her mind and it reminded her that she wasn’t just imagining the scene that took place in front of her. Kiyah absentmindedly raised her hand to rub the arm that was laying across her stomach. Even though he was here just for the night, she can smell already smell his scent overpowering her space. Dark. Earthy. Cedar wood. The heat emanating from him brought comfort to her.
I could wake up like this for the rest of my life. She thought to herself. The light coming from the Windows showed that it wasn’t too early in the morning, if she had to guess it was around 10 in the morning. Shutting her eyes, she took in the moment of him being home. There were days when she would try to self-sabotage her blessings and push Jimmy as far away from her as she could, but he always fought for her. Always. For these past three years it’s been Jimmy and Kiyah, never just Jimmy and never Just Kiyah. It made her very appreciative of him being in her life. She’s never been loved the way Jimmy loved her, and it scared her because she loved just as hard as he did… maybe even more so.
While she continued to trail her hand against his skin, Kiyah was slowly falling back asleep in this solace of her bedroom. She felt Jimmy shift from her chest to nestle his face in her neck to get more comfortable and they both drifted back to sleep.
Another hour went by before a loud ringing blared throughout the room, jolting her awake. Jimmy let out a tired groan, tightening his grip around her.
“Jimmy.” She whispered. He shook his head refusing to wake up, just to answer the phone.
He lazily moved his arm from across her to grab his phone from his back pocket and handed it to her. “Put it on silent mode and go back to sleep.”
Kiyah softly chuckled, taking his phone and placing it on silent mode. “I’m up baby. I know you’re jet lagged so I’m going to let you sleep.” Jimmy let out another groan when Kiyah tried to slide out of the bed.
“C’mon baby. Just stay for a little bit.” He begged.
“I gotta pee. I’ll be back.” She comprises and he smack his lips letting her go.
——————————————————————————
The soft tune of Nothing can come between us by Sade was heard throughout the kitchen and Kiyah bumped her head softly to the beat and sang as softly as she could while whisking the the eggs she was preparing.
“In the middle of the madness, when the time is running out and you’re left alone. All I want is you to know that… it’s strong still can’t pull us apart. Nothing can come, nothing can come, nothing can come between us.” Kiyah softly sang, moving her hips to the melody of the music.
The knock on her door was loud, making her head snap up to look towards the door. Jimmy quickly came from around the corner where her room was, heading towards it.
“Don’t move, Imma answer it.” He said unlocking and opening the door revealing Bianca. “Wassup B.” He greeted, stepping to the side to let her in.
Bianca was shocked to see Jimmy at her cousin’s house. She took notice that he had not only made himself comfortable enough to answer the door but that he was wearing the same same clothes he left the airport in. So, this was the business he had to take care of in New York? She thought to herself before flashing him a knowing smile. “Hey Jimmy – I see you’re here early.” She teased as she stepped in and walked pass him.
He just chuckled and shook his head, closing the door back and locking it. “Yeah I Had a couple things to take care of.”
Bianca watched Jimmy walk away, eyes following him until he disappeared into the room. With amusement shining in her eyes, her head snapped towards the kitchen and Kiyah was standing there smiling; looking all innocent when she was clearly guilty.
“Hey Bianca, I totally forgot we had plans today. How you doing?”
Bianca raised her eyebrow at her and a smiled etched its way on her face again. “Well good morning to you. It smells so good in this bitch. Anyways – are you gonna spill the tea or what? Cause it looks like Jimmy ‘he’s just my best friend’ Uso spent the night and now you up making him breakfast when we had plans to go to brunch.” She asked, taking a seat at the kitchen island.
Kiyah snorted and turned back around to pour the eggs in the nonstick skillet. “You’re so damn nosey.”
“I’m even nosier when I’m realizing he went to your room instead of the guest room.” Bianca replied.
Kiyah shrugged her shoulders as a response, scrambling the eggs in front of her. She thought about how these past four months has changed the dynamic between her and Jimmy after his confession in her living room. The transition from friend to lover was easier than she thought it would’ve been.
“Baby.” Jimmy called out, walking out the room with a hoodie and some shoes. “I’m finna be back real quick.” He said as he entered the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” Kiyah asked, turning her head to look up at him.
“I’m out of gars so I’m finna hit up the closest gas station. Imma call Jey back since he been blowing my shit up. I know you guys haven’t seen each other in a while so I want y’all to catch up.”
“But I’m making breakfast for you.” Kiyah acknowledges, sliding the skillet off the stove top.
Jimmy chuckles, pressing his chest against her back. He places his hands on her waist as he watches over her what she made. French toast on two sets of plates on one side of the stove and the freshly scrambled eggs being served next to it.
“Make B something to eat and I’ll be back so we can eat okay.” He suggests, turning her around to wrap his arms around her waist fully, hand gripping on her ass as he leans down to softly peck her lips twice.
“Alright. Hurry back, okay?” She asks, keeping her voice low, raising her hands to caress his arms. “I don’t want your food to be cold and nasty when you eat it.”
“I’ll be right back I promise.” Jimmy pecks her lip one last time before pulling himself away from her to walk out the kitchen. “See you later B.” He calls out as exits the house.
The entire time, Bianca had sat in her seat shocked to her core. She watched the interaction closely, taking notes left and right and her tea cup was damn near full at this point. She waited for the door to fully shut before scoffing in disbelief. “Bitch since when do y’all kiss now? Since when the hell did y’all start calling each other baby? What in the world have I missed?” She yelled dramatically, throwing her hands up in the air to emphasize her point.
“Giirrrrllllluuuuhhhhh” Kiyah dragged out, chuckling. “Back in October Jimmy admitted his feelings for me.” She finally confessed, the smile on her face widening as she remembered that night.
“OCTOBER OF LAST YEAR!? BITCH ITS MARCH.” Bianca screamed; eyes so wide it would’ve fell out of her socket if it could’ve.
Kiyah shrugged her shoulder “The titles changed but nothing’s really different, that’s why I never cared to say anything. We’re still the same.”
“Yeah, except now you are getting Jimmy schlong every other night.” Bianca exclaimed.
Kiyah rolled her eyes, “Girl please, I wish. But we have kept it private but not a secret ya know? That’s my man for real and I’m so in love with him, it’s kinda sick.”
“I think it’s cute. A couple years ago you were scared to even put your heart on the line and now look at you.” Bianca really felt her heart swell with joy as she watched her cousin obviously head over heels in love with Jimmy Uso. “I’m happy for you- the both of you, truly.”
Kiyah turned the stove off and walked around the kitchen island to pull her cousin into an embrace. “Thank you B. I really appreciate it.” She stated and she meant it. There are few people who actually knew what went down between her and her ex, what she experienced and what made her so closed off after it; Bianca being one of those few people. It meant a lot to see that she was also able to see the growth when it came to her love life.
“And I love you girl, I really do but once Jimmy get back from smoking, I’m finna feed my man and spend my entire day with him. So about brunch…. Imma have to take a rain check.” She smiled at Bianca’s laugh.
“Alright bitch, I can read the room.”
———————————————————————
After Jimmy had returned from his trip, Kiyah had served breakfast. It brought a different kind of feeling watching him eat her food. In the furthest part of her mind, it made the moment more domestic, made her feel like one day -further down the line of course- that she could do this as his wife.
After breakfast, Jimmy insisted that he clean up the kitchen while she shower. What he really needed was the opportunity to distract her. Jimmy turned the volume up on Alexa, letting the sound of Neat by Q Money take over the silence in the house while he made his way to the coat closet where he had hid what he had returned to the house with.
Opening the coat closet, he pulls out a couple bags filled with what he wanted to do for the rest of day. Jimmy really wanted to treat Kiyah to a night out but he didn’t want to be out today, he just wanted to spend his day as lazily as he could where he found comfort the most. Closing the door, he took the bags and walked to the living room to get started on what he had planned; with Kiyah in the shower he knew he had a cool 45 minutes.
He unpacked everything that came in boxes: the air mattress, the LED tea light candles, the fairy lights, the fake rose petals and got to work with setting up the living room.
After setting up as fast as he could, he walked into her room, his eyes scanning the room looking for a suspiciously quiet Kiyah. “Babe.” He called out, walking towards the bathroom. He catches a glimpse of her doing her face routine, one of his old shirts engulfing her body. “Didn’t you say you never seen where this shirt went?” He asked teasingly as he walks up behind her.
“I have no idea what you talking about, this my shirt.” Kiyah replied, her lips twitched as she tried to fight the smile that wanted to imprint its way on her face.
Jimmy playfully rolled his eyes, “yeah whatever. You gone have to run me most of my shit sooner than later, unless you wanna send me back on the road with nothing to wear.”
Kiyah scoffed, keeping her eyes in the mirror when she looked at him. “Keep playing. If you wanna be outside I can be outside too. “
“You can be outside, Ian worried about shit. I can fight.” Jimmy stated, shrugging his shoulders.
“You say that now, but we all know if I’m in another nigga arms you gone be sick.” Kiyah countered back turning to face him with a small smirk, “You know you love you some me.”
Jimmy watched her with amusement in his eyes, watch her stick her tongue out at him as childishly as she could before turning back to finish applying the clay mask that was in her hands. “Girl please, you damn near passed out when you thought I was entertaining Sasha. I ain’t the only one.” He exposed, laughing when Kiyah’s jaw dropped.
He pulled off his shirt, turning to turn the shower on. “Wanna wash my hair after I’m done with my shower?”
“Can I give you a face mask if I do?” She asked with hopeful eyes when she fully turned around to face him again. Jimmy let out a small chuckle, nodding his head, agreeing with whatever made her heart content at the moment.
Kiyah didn’t want to show how much she missed being around him, but she was finding it difficult to stay away from him. And it wasn’t like he made it easier for her. Like when Jimmy started his shower, she opted to leave the bathroom to finish getting dressed but, Jimmy requested her to stay to keep him company. Sitting on the toilet waiting for her mask to dry while he showered and they both conversed brought back that feeling she was feeling earlier. Domestic.
In her mind she knew it was too early to be thinking these kinds of thoughts but, she’s had feelings for him for two years now, and she couldn’t really remember when she last felt like this. Doesn’t remember the last time anyone ever made her feel so secure.
After washing his hair and keeping his hair wrapped in a towel for it to dry, Kiyah prepared everything she needed to get started on his face. “Just sit still because if you laugh it’s gonna crack.” She warned, and Jimmy smacked his lips.
“This like yo third warning.”
“Because you play too much, I couldn’t even get you to cleanse your face without you playing with the water. Now sit.” She demanded, hands pressing against his shoulders to force him to sit on the toilet so she can apply the mask. He moved freely, letting her push him to sit.
Jimmy let himself relax, closing his eyes and let Kiyah go to work. He didn’t really care for the process of what came with what Kiyah swore was the best skin routine for both him and her. He just wanted to be close to her, the last time they seen each other was almost three weeks ago – almost a month – and he just wanted to be away from the white noise and relish in the quiet refuge that was her home.
Kiyah delicately stroked the brush filled with the clay over his skin as they both fell into a comfortable silence. Nobody else but you by Trey Songz softly playing in the background from the Alexa that was outside and Jimmy couldn’t help but find himself agreeing with the song that seemed to set the mood. He really didn’t want nothing but to be here, with her, didn’t want nobody else but Kiyah.
Jimmy pulled Kiyah closer to him, using his legs to part her legs so that both legs her on each side of his. His hand gripped her waist as he pulled her to take a on his lap. There we go, Jimmy thought once she was seated, fully wrapping his arms around her.
Kiyah continued to apply the mask, the smile she fought to keep off her face grew anyway. It was moments like this where she felt like the luckiest woman in the world. She found someone who was on her just as bad as she was on them. Before she met him, she never thought she would ever meet someone like her, someone who wanted to be around her, touch her, almost all the time. And maybe their time apart played a big role in their affection with each other but Kiyah wouldn’t trade this, wouldn’t trade him, for nothing.
Watching him fully relax under his touch made her heart swell with joy, smiling she leaned down to peck his lips which caused him to open his eyes and softly smile at her. “What you up to?” He playfully asked and she shrugged her shoulders.
“Nothing, I love you.”
“I love you too mama.” He replied without missing a beat, searching her eyes as she stared at him. He leaned up to steal another kiss from her.”How long all this gone take?”
Kiyah placed down everything in her hands on the sink beside her when she finished covering his face with the mask. “We wait 15 minutes for it to dry and then you’re done.”
Jimmy nodded his head, letting his hands start to rub against her legs. “Jey been complaining about how he never see me anymore.” He randomly stated and Kiyah chuckled.
“I don’t blame him, I bet he miss his twin. You guys hung out every time you were off.” Kiyah responded back, letting her hands rub against his chest. “You know you can go to ATL and spend the time with him down there. You know I don’t mind.”
Jimmy let out a small hum, but going to ATL to spend time with his brother wasn’t the problem. It was him wanting to take her with him so that everyone in his life could finally see who’s been taking all of his time. “Would you come with me?” He asked quietly.
“I would go anywhere with you.” She answered and she meant it. Jimmy could ask her to go anywhere and she would go, he was home to her.
Jimmy didn’t signify an answer to her response. He just let his hands trail up from her waist caressing her skin.
“Jimmy.” Her tone came off as her warning him not to start anything.
“Next weekend, He’s throwing a barbecue and our family will be there.” He said, ignoring her warning. “Will you come with me?” He asked.
Kiyah felt her heartbeat pick up. Will you come meet my family? That’s essentially what he is asking her. Yes, she’s already met his brother and yes, she already met Roman – when she spent her time at the Thunderdome arena and they wanted to get to know each other better it required her being around his family. This invite though… it really sounded like will you come meet my parents?
“You want me to meet your mom?” Kiyah asked in a whisper, leaning her body closer to him for a comfort she’s sure they both needed. “You want me to fix your plate in front of everybody to let ‘em know you my man?” She asked playfully.
It eased the nervousness out him, he chuckled and leaned forward to peck her lips. “I wanna show you off to the whole world. I know we ain’t tell nobody yet but I want to. Tell our families anyways.” He answered back to her, shrugging a little.
“I kissed you in front of Bianca on purpose. Wanna show all of ‘em I only want you to fix my plate.” He replied jokingly. His tone softened though as he spoke, his hands trailing up her shirt, rubbing up and down against her back. “I know you ain’t used to the family introductions and all that, but if we’re doing firsts – I wanna experience all of that with you.” He confessed.
Kiyah didn’t reply, she just watched him. Taking in the moment. Here they were, in each others arms, Jimmy’s hair wrapped up in a towel, Clay mask drying on his face while he confessed that he didn’t want to keep their romance a secret from the people who mattered most in their lives.
Could I be any more in love with him? “I’ll meet your parents papa, you can tell the whole world how we locked in, clocked in for the long run.” Despite telling Jimmy not to move his face as much, she couldn’t help but lean in to lock their lips together. Wrapping her arms around his neck as Jimmy deepen the kiss. Kiyah pulled away before they got too carried away.
“Hold on.” She whispered. She reached over on the counter to grab the rag she had placed on the counter. She dipped it in the bowl that had warm water in it now and moved to clean up what she started.
She cleaned his face as gently as she could, throwing the rag in the sink for now and unwrapping the towel from his head. Kiyah was killing two birds with one stone. She took pride in taking care of Jimmy, and this gave her the chance to do so but she was also trying to speed up the process of getting him in her room.
Jimmy let his hands move from her back to her stomach, trailing slowly towards her breasts before he gripped them; fingers tweaking at her nipples.
Kiyah let out a small moan, letting her head fall back from the pleasure. Jimmy leaned up started placing butterfly kisses upon her neck, locating her sweet spot immediately and closing his mouth to suck on it.
“Fucckk.” Kiyah moaned out, bucking her hips against his. Jimmy’s hands, continued to tweak and pull at her nipples before he let one hand slid down to rub against her covered clit.
“This what you was looking for right?” He asked huskily in her ear. Kiyah felt herself shiver at his tone.
Jimmy pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing it through her panties, feeling it get soaked with her essence. His other hand left her breast to wrap around her neck. “Look at me, this what you wanted right?” He repeated.
Kiyah forced herself to lock eyes with Jimmy. “Yes” she breathed out as an answer.
Jimmy pulled her in by her neck to kiss her once again. Locking their lips in a passionate kiss, Kiyah bucked her hips against his hand to cause more friction.
He pushed her panties to the side to push two fingers inside of her, groaning into her mouth at how tight and wet she felt. Kiyah let out a gasp when she felt the sudden intrusion, throwing her head back again. Jimmy’s fingers thrusted in and out of her in a slow place causing her to rock her hips against his hands.
“Look at you.” Jimmy cooed as he picked up the pace of his fingers, curling it to touch her g-spot.
“Fuck Daddy, you finna make me cum.” She cried out, eyes rolled to the back of her head. She kept clenching herself around his fingers but he was relentless… he continued to pump his fingers in and out of her.
“Look at me.” He demanded and Kiyah couldn’t bring herself to it, moans slipping out her mouth uncontrollably as she felt a tightening feeling in her stomach.
Jimmy cupped her jaw, forcing her to lift her head and lock eyes. “I want the last thing you see before you cum is me.” He told her, he wanted to watch her love faces as she reached her climax.
“Jimmy please.” She pleaded.
She watched as his darkened eyes as he felt her clench against his fingers again. “Watch me make you cum.” He whispered, picking up the pace of his fingers. “That’s it baby, cum for daddy.”
Kiyah’s eyes rolled to the back of her head and her mouth dropped open as she let out a drawn moan, body shaking as she let herself go cumming all over his fingers. Whimpering as he slowed down to help her ride out her orgasm.
Once she was able to collect herself, he slowly pulled his fingers out of her, flashing her a smile. “You so sexy.”
She just searched his eyes, did this man really have the audacity to smile innocently at her like he didn’t just snatch her up?
He stared at her while he placed both fingers in his mouth, sucking her juices off his fingers. He pulled his fingers out of his mouth and leaned down to kiss her, sliding his tongue in her mouth so she could taste herself.
When he felt her try to deepen the kiss, Jimmy pulled back. “Come outside, I got something I wanna show you.”
It took some convincing to get Kiyah to move from the bathroom to go outside. Kiyah just wanted to jump his bones but he really wanted to show her what he originally had planned for the both of them for the day. And even though it took some convincing, his efforts were not in vain because once she say the living room set up she felt her eyes water.
“Jimmy” she breathed out, her breath hitching in her throat as she took everything in. Jimmy smiled at her reaction, he knew it wasn’t much but he was glad it made her happy. She wrapped her hands around his neck to hug him. She was grateful. “Let me show you how thankful I am daddy.” She whispered in his ear.
Do you remember, those special times? They’ll just go on and on in the back of my mind
Jimmy knew ever since he arrived to ATL that this was where he was going to be. Kiyah really showed out for him, and he wanted nothing more than to push her dress up and bury his face in her pussy. She’s been giving for these past couple of days, and last night on the way to ATL he fell asleep on the flight and woke up to his dick in her throat an hour into the flight and assured him that he didn’t have to do anything in return. I just wanna please you. She had stated in a sultry whisper.
She took him out on a date this morning, insisting that she gets to spoil him as much as he spoils her. They went to waffle House for breakfast, and then went to the aquarium right after. She’s been showing the fuck out in Jimmy… He was going to show her his gratitude, no matter where they were at. After he seen her interaction with his family, how his mother fell in love with her almost immediately and how she stayed in the kitchen to help prep the food, even if she didn’t know what was being made… yeah. He knew he was going to be here.
In between her legs with his arms locked around her thighs and his tongue buried inside of her. Kiyah kept her back in a deep arch, eyes rolled to the back of her head with her mouth gaped open but no sound came from her. He had her in a guest bathroom in his brothers house, and she really didn’t want to get caught.
“Fuck, Jimmy.” Kiyah hissed, making him groan against her and wiggle his tongue inside of her, sliding it out of her to swirl it around her pussy to lap up all of her juices. He licked all the way to her clit, sucking on while grazing his tongue against it.
“Daddy” She moaned out, looking down to watch him devour her, moving her hips to grind her pussy against his tongue. Jimmy flattened his tongue against her clit when he felt her moving her hips, letting her do some of the work. His eyes moving to stare at her and winked on their eyes locked.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Daddy you finna make me cum.” And at that warning, he closed his mouth around her clit again and sucked. He let out a moan, the vibrations sending a euphoric sensation throughout her body. Jimmy tightened his grip on her thighs to keep her in place. Kiyah let out a moan, letting her head fall back as her stomach tightened. “I’m cumming.” She announced as she spilled all into his mouth, panting heavily. Her lower body shook as her orgasm washed through her and Jimmy made sure to catch every drop.
He raised to his feet, hand wrapping around her neck as he drew her in to smash their lips together to lock their lips in a slow sloppy kiss.
“Damn Papa.” She whispered against his lips as she tried to catch her breath and he smirked.
“I’m not done with you yet.” He told her, pulling his pants down so that she could free himself. Kiyah watched Jimmy stroke himself, precum leaking from the tip and she felt herself clench around nothing.
“There’s an entire party going on outside.” Kiyah whispered as if trying to get him to stop but Jimmy wasn’t hearing none of that.
“I don’t give a fuck, I’m boutta fuck you up for real.” He replied pulling her off the sink counter to face the mirror. “And you gone watch me do it.” He whispered huskily in her ear.
Kiyah barely had time to grip onto the sink counter before Jimmy pushed himself into her, curses left both of their mouths as he pushed until their was nothing to push left. Both of them to moan out at the feeling.
“Eyes on the mirror the whole time ma.” He whispered in her ear, causing Kiyah to shiver.
Jimmy stayed still for a second, being raw inside of Kiyah made him want to ruin her life, and if the circumstances were different he totally would’ve.
He placed both hands on her hips and pulling out and thrusting back inside of her, pushing just as deep as he went the first time, every time he slid back in her. Kiyah’s head flew back as moans poured from her mouth.
Jimmy watching her through the mirror, seeing how wreck she looked before he even really got started and an evil smirk spread across his face. One hand moved to grip on her breast, pulling it out of the dress and his other hand found its way to her neck. “What I tell you princess?”
“I-“ Kiyah gasped out, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as he fucked her harder and harder. Her manicured hand moved up to grip onto the wrist of the hand that was wrapped around her neck. It was as if Jimmy was fucking her like he was angry.
“Yesss baby, just like that.” She moaned out.
Watching her love faces always did something to him, he swiftly moved to the left a little to hit her g spot causing Kiyah to let out a loud moan. Jimmy dropped the breast that he was holding and raised his hand to clap it against her mouth. “You know you’re supposed to be quiet, but here you are trynna let the whole world know how much you love this dick.”
His words caused Kiyah to clench around around him tightly, squeezing her eyes shut. Jimmy chuckled deeply. “C’mon Mama, let Daddy in so I can fuck you up.”
He continued to poke at her spot over and over again, making Kiyah moan loudly into his hands. He forced her head back up to face the mirror so she could watch. Tears ran down her face at the intense feeling of him fucking the shit out of her. “You look so pretty like this.” He cooed.
He sped up and only stopped a few couple strokes to really press himself against her spot. “Open ya mouth for me Mama.” He demanded.
Kiyah immediately let her mouth drop open, he stuck two fingers in her mouth. “Suck it.”
Kiyah closed her mouth back around his fingers, humming in pleasure when she mimicked her actions from earlier. She sucked his fingers, her tongue twirling against them and sucked hard. Jimmy felt his dick twitch inside of her, he would ruin her right here and be content with that.
“Keep yo eyes on the mirror, and if they move, I’m not gone let you cum.” He warned. Kiyah felt her body shiver, keeping her eyes on his through the mirror.
Jimmy pulled his fingers out of her mouth and placed them on her clit, rubbing them quickly as he started picking his thrust back up.
The motive to be discreet flew out the window, Kiyah moaning loudly, gripping the counter until her knuckled turned white. “You finna make me cum again.” She cried out.
Jimmy let go of her neck to grip on her braids to make sure her heads positioned the way he wanted it to be. He could feel her walls clench and unclench around him. “That’s a good girl, look at you take all of it.”
“Please don’t stop, I’m right there baby. Oh my fuck.” She cried as he fucked her harder. “Don’t stop daddy, please don’t stop, you’re gonna make me cum.” She begged, watching more tears fall her eyes.
Jimmy let out a grunt, “Daddy gone make that pretty pussy cum every single time.” He affirmed, rubbing her clit in circles. “Gimme that shit baby.” And Kiyah’s upper body stilled as her lower body shook, releasing herself all over him squirting a little.
“Yesssss” She hissed out and Jimmy had to pull out as quickly as he could, nutting on ass.
Wrapping his arms around her, Jimmy let himself drop his weight on her a little.
“Fuck.” He groaned out, pressing a kiss against the back of her neck. “You keep spoiling me like that Ma and I swear Imma keep you cummin’ like that every single time.” He promised.
And Girl, No matter what was said
“Kiyah I just didn’t wanna be rude to her. You know that with my status.” Jimmy argued
“And Jimmy, all that shit was cool when we were friends. But to do that shit in front of my face? Are you fucking serious? Then the bitch gone have the audacity to laugh at me like she did something.”
“Kiyah.” He started but she cut him off.
"No. You keep giving these bitches a reason to laugh at me like I’m some goofy bitch all cause you wanna be so damn friendly." Kiyah stressed
"Being friendly comes with the job Kiyah! Damn, every time I come in this bitch, you in my ear stressing me the fuck out don’t nobody wanna hear that. Can you at least appreciate that I even come in? I don’t gotta be here Kiyah.” He snapped and she nodded her head at him.
“You know what Jimmy? Since you don’t gotta be here, just stop showing up. Since I stress you out so fucking much, forget I even said anything. I’m sick of this shit, I’m done. You definitely don’t gotta worry about me no more.” Kiyah retorted back.
It was supposed to be a good night for the two, they were both leaving the arena when they bumped into a couple fans who just wanted some pictures. It was fine until it wasn’t. What he thought was being friendly was borderline flirting to these girls, they’d take whatever he’d give them and run a mile with. It was fine until he thought it was okay to let the fan touch for way longer than what was appropriate.
“You’re too damn insecure Kiyah when the fuck you gone wake up and realize that? That’s the reason why these other dudes treated you like trash, and you got so much damn baggage that nobody wants to deal with!” Jimmy snapped but the second he said it, he regretted it.
Kiyah froze, his words ringing in her head. Baggage. She had too much baggage.
“Kiyah I didn’t mean that.” He whispered but she sent a watery smile in his direction.
“You know what? Don’t worry about it, from now on you won’t have to worry about me or my baggage.”
And she turned around and left. Jimmy felt his heart break as she walked but his stubbornness is what kept her from chasing her. Unbeknownst to him, that would be the last time he seen her.
I will never forget what we had, my baby.
All the memories of his time in New York came back to him as he drove to the garden arena. He remembered when told him her feelings drunk off her ass after the Christmas party.
He remembers, her home made cooking every time he visited or any time she visited him. He remembers taking care of her when she caught covid.
She was a crying mess when her test came back positive. She did what she did best and isolate herself away from people. Pushing Jimmy away and booked her own hotel so that she wouldn’t pass it on to Bianca and Tez. And at first Jimmy thought she only isolated from him, but when Tez came and asked if he’d heard from Kiyah, he realized she was isolating herself from everyone.
He remembers asking Bianca if she knew what hotel Kiyah had checked into and he remembers bribing the concierge to tell him what her room number was. He remembers pushing himself through the hotel door when she tried to shut the door in his face.
“Jimmy I’m sick, I have covid.” She stressed, moving away from him as fast as she could.
“Kiyah” He whispered when he took in the scene in front of him. She was hurting and she didn’t want to tell anybody.
“You have to get out!”
“Kiyah, I haven’t heard from you in damn near three weeks. What’s going on?” He asked, concern laced in his voice
“I’m sick; that’s what’s going on. Now if you could please leave, I don’t want you to get sick.”
"No. Kiyah you need to stop pushing people away because you’re scared to show people the ugly side of you.”
He remembers Kiyah crying in his arms that night because she finally felt like someone cared for her.
He remembers the first time he told her ‘I love you’. She cried, and told him she was scared to say it back because every time she did, it was for nothing. And He never rushed her to say it back.
He remembers her confessing her love back to him not even a week later because she really couldn’t hold it in. She’s been feeling him for a long time and she refused to keep her feelings to herself any longer. Jimmy remembers everything, and boy did it hurt to.
Do you remember (I bet you remember)
An uneasy feeling settled in Jimmy’s stomach ever since he found out that New York was the next arena after Money In The Bank. Being in the city was as the ghost of her was going to trailing over him. It’s been three months since he’s last seen her and he wasn’t healed but it was easier to be away from here. Being here reminded him of everything he used to love to do… with who he loved to do it with.
Jimmy let out a sigh as he sat in the bloodline locker room. Even though they were split, They requested to still share the same locker room. It’s quiet, he’s not telling any jokes and he’s getting tired of the worried look’s being shared between his brothers.
“Uce, I’m fine. It’s just one night. It won’t kill me.” Jimmy huffed out and Jey shrugged.
“I wanna believe you Uce, but you been walking around like a sad puppy ever since we landed. Why don’t you just call her?” Jey suggested and Solo nodded, agreeing with his older brother.
“She told me I wouldn’t hear from her again and she meant that shit.” Jimmy sighed. “I can’t just pop up ya know? I wanna respect her and her space.”
Before Jey could reply, a knock was heard on the door. The silence after the knock is what had them confused. Solo moved to answer the door but Jimmy raised his hand to stop him. They didn’t know who that was. The knocking happened again.
“Who is it?” Jey called out and the voice that answered back made Jimmy’s blood run cold.
“It’s me.” Kiyah’s voice was heard through the door.
Jimmy stood up slowly and walked towards the door and he held his breath as he opened the door. “Kiyah.” He breathed out and she flashed a small smile towards him.
“Hi.”
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i apologize for disappearing for so long… i am working up the courage to start writing again. just dealing with a lot of emotions recently:
for those who don’t know a category 4 hurricane, Hurricane Helene, recently just hit the state of florida, starting early yesterday into late last night, putting many without power or a place to go.
i am fortunately safe from where I am but my mom’s house on the other hand got about 7 feet of water from the storm surges. there is somebody’s sail boat crashed on top of her dock, debris is all over the place, fallen trees, etc. an estimated total of 40 people have died thus far. 💔💔💔
I am so thankful that my area was for the most part unharmed. Yes there was flooding but not nearly as bad as it could’ve been. Just going through some PTSD from Hurricane Ian which hit my area 2 years ago. It will be exactly two years ago tomorrow. Crazy to think that a major hurricane hit the same week as one of the most damaging and costliest hurricanes Florida has ever seen.
For those that don’t know, Hurricane Ian was a Category 4 hurricane (almost a category 5 but it was 2 mph just under) hit my area directly two years ago. It was one of the costliest storms ever equating to nearly 113 BILLION dollars of damage. it is the third costliest hurricane with around 160 deaths and 13 people missing. boats were in peoples homes, there was 15 feet of water in peoples homes, houses were floating away in the ocean. it’s actually INSANE to think that Mother Nature is so capable of this.
I vividly remember being without power for days and no running water. Couldn’t flush toilets, couldn’t even make a phone call. The highways had MILES of ambulances lined up along the sides. It was so crazy.
it still brings tears to my eyes to think about all the people that lost their homes or family members. people had some of their belongings in garbage bags because it was all they had left. the debris pile up’s were taller than the buildings that were left standing. it is something i will never be able to move on from.
anyways sorry for the babbling I’m just really feeling a lot of emotions the past few days from the recent hurricane being the same week as hurricane ian.
I just wanted to come on to say hi and sorry for disappearing and that I am trying to start writing again soon. but for now, i will be going to help clean up other areas which will put a further delay on my writings.
hope y’all understand!!! xoxo
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Goodbye, Summer (Christian Pulisic x Reader)
Song Inspo: Summer Love - One Direction (listening to the song while reading is highly recommended!)
WC: 2.7K
Warnings: cursing, angst
A/N: after a few months i finally finished this fic!!! this is my first christian angst it felt kinda strange to write one for him lol and just so y'all know i haven't been able to write angst with a happy ending so, be aware. and the start of the ‘summer love’ is a lot different than usual hopefully not too weird for your liking tho. also this wasn't proofread, sorry if this turns out to be shit. anw hope you guys enjoy and i’d love to hear your thoughts thru ask/reply/reblog 💗 apologies for any grammatical errors! feedbacks are highly appreciated 🤍
–
“Cause you were mine for the summer
Now we know it's nearly over
Feels like snow in September
But I always will remember”
—
Summer has come to an end. Well, technically summer hasn’t ended yet – but Christian had to move to Italy and this move wasn’t exactly planned but quite expected – so yeah, to me, summer is about to end. And the moment Christian hops on the plane, there goes my summer of love. It was fun while it lasted – though I wish it would never end.
Christian told me he was leaving just a few days prior. He had been back to the States two days after the end of the Premier League season and ever since we had been spending the summer together. I knew this was coming as we agreed we would only be together for the summer but I didn’t think it would be this hard.
—
I met him through a mutual friend last year when he was briefly in Florida to visit his family and friends for Christmas. I still had a boyfriend at the time – even though my relationship ended the very next day, it was already broken to begin with – so we became strictly friends and I had no intentions on dating him. Jokes on me, because I had caught feelings for him but I was so wounded by the heartbreak I wasn’t even aware of it. He did catch feelings too, though he thought I needed time to process the breakup so confessing his feelings wouldn’t be appropriate.
I didn’t want a serious relationship for a while – or so I thought – therefore I didn’t even think of dating since my last one. Christian and I would sometimes text each other, but it wasn’t a constant thing. We hadn’t really seen each other in person since because of the distance, but I watched every match he played and usually texted him to give my support before the match.
One night within the second week of May, he told me by text that he was going back to Florida for summer break and looking forward to spending the rest of the summer with me. I thought to myself: why would he spend his short break with me? I responded to him by asking why just me and not his friends and family, hoping he would say something funny and odd like he always does and instead he said something I didn’t see coming.
“Because I like you and I want to be with you.”
My heart stopped the second I saw that text. Christian… Likes me? My goodness, what an oblivious idiot I had been. I was deeply wounded by my past I didn’t see what was going on in front of me the whole time. I didn’t know what else to say and I accidentally left his text on read that night.
“Y/N? Are you okay?”
“Did I say something wrong?”
“I’ve freaked you out haven’t I? Fuck I’m sorry!!!”
Oh shit. I woke up to those unread messages from Christian – I just remembered I hadn’t texted him back last night. I immediately tried to reply but as my thumbs touched the screen to type, no words came to mind. I honestly didn’t know how to react, if I tell him I’m not looking for a relationship would it hurt him?
“I…”
“Christian…”
“If you want a relationship, I don’t know if I’m the right person for you…”
I locked my phone screen right after I sent those messages. I hoped I wasn’t being too harsh to him, but being put in this position was so overwhelming and I didn’t know what else to say. I just… I wasn’t ready. And I couldn’t tell when I would be. Not to mention he lives thousands of miles away from me and I didn’t think I could handle the distance.
An hour later, I finally heard back from Christian.
“I get it and I respect that.”
“What if we just… Be together for the summer?”
“We don’t have to think about what’s gonna happen after. Just be in the moment… You and me.”
I gave that idea of his a thought – a not-so-long thought because I was assuming I didn’t have enough time. I’d admit, while I found it interesting, I couldn’t help but wonder: would it be worth it? Would someone get hurt at the end?
Before the day ended, I finally made up my mind.
“Okay. I’m in…”
“But just for the summer.”
“And only if nobody is gonna get hurt.”
—
When he arrived, I was the one who picked him up at the airport. We absolutely spent our summer together everyday – there wasn’t a day that went by without him by my side and vice versa. He invited me to spend some time with his family and friends on their boats, and I had him spending time with mine on either the beach or my family’s home.
We were well aware we only had each other for the summer, thus we made sure every moment counts no matter how little or big it might be. We knew once this summer ends it also marks the end of our time together and go back to live our own separate lives. I didn’t want to think about what will happen next – I just want to live in the moment.
The more I spend my time with him, the stronger my feelings grow. It’s been messing up my mind, but I couldn’t let it ruin my summer. This was the best summer I’ve ever had in a long time, and I would not take it for granted. The memories we were creating throughout will forever live on in my head.
—
In the middle of our “summer of love”, Christian came to an agreement with AC Milan, and by that his time in Chelsea had come to an end and he had to relocate to Italy. And the club wanted him to join them for preseason, meaning his summer break had to be cut off sooner than he planned.
When he broke the news, I was stunned – not that I wasn’t happy about his move to Milan, I just needed time to process it. I also wasn’t ready for our summer to be over, but the circumstances forced us to cut our time short. It was pretty saddening for us that we unfortunately had to burst our little bubble.
“So… That’s it for us then?” I carefully asked.
“Let’s just not talk about it.” He refused.
I didn’t want to cause a fight at the time, so I agreed to let it go.
The entire time, I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around him. But eventually I couldn’t do that forever. You can't escape the reality no matter how much you want to.
—
Christian was packing his bags as he had a flight to catch the next morning. Yes, I couldn’t emphasize enough that we know our whatever-you-called-ship is coming to an end. In every hello there is a goodbye, right? But why does this feel so hard?
We have tried really hard not to mention anything about the fact that our summer love will be over soon but it is an inevitable topic. There is no way we can escape the conversation, especially on our very last day together. And I have to be the one to bring this up because Christian clearly didn’t want to – he might be the one who suggested the idea, but he is the one who is more in denial.
“Chris, you know we both have to say something, don’t you?” I tried to start the conversation.
“Can we not? Please.” He whimpered.
“We have to.” I insisted.
He kept packing in silence, not wanting to talk about the painful reality. I was sitting on the corner of his bed while he was standing across from me, avoiding eye contact since I started talking. He was looking down all the time – organizing his belongings – and not once he took even a little glance at me. I looked closely at his face, paying attention to every little detail I could. His face was red, eyes were puffy and watery, lips were tight – it was obvious to me he was trying so hard not to cry.
“So are you just going to freeze me out the entire time or?” Still no answer from him.
I went and sat a lot closer to him and he tried to look away.
“Stop it, please! At least just look at my fucking eyes if you don’t want to fucking speak!”
And suddenly I saw tears running down on his face. He couldn’t hold them back anymore – his heart was completely shattered and it was obvious he was nowhere near ready to face the harsh reality.
“Chris… Listen…”
“Why can’t you change your mind?”
He asked a question that got me startled.
“What is it about me and the time that we had that made you certain you still don’t want a relationship?” His voice was trembling.
It took me a while to even say one fucking word to him. I felt like the worst person on earth for breaking the sweetest man’s heart. And to be honest, I broke my own heart too – and I was really trying my hardest to conceal it from him.
“Chris, you were the one who said, and I quote, “just be together for the summer”! I was being so clear I didn’t want a relationship yet you still offered me that. There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s just… I’m not ready. And I don’t know when I will be again.” I desperately tried to explain myself to him but I seemed to upset him even more.
“Yeah, right.” He shook his head and smacked his lips. “Whatever you say.”
I sighed.
“Chris… Please, why won’t you believe me?” I asked him quietly.
“I don’t buy your bullshit anymore.” He replied coldly, while wiping his tears.
Now done packing, he grabbed the car keys and put most of his belongings in the trunk.
I still wanted to have more conversation – about us, specifically – but after he was done with his stuff, he refused.
“I’m tired and I have an early flight to catch tomorrow. I think I should just go to sleep right now.” He said as he walked into his room.
“Yeah, of course...” I responded.
I tried to softly grab his hand but he swung his arm further away from me.
“See you tomorrow, Chris. Goo-”
He slammed the door on my face before I got to tell him goodnight. At the moment, I thought to myself: oh no, he really hates me.
—
The next morning I drove Christian to the airport. He was going to Milan with his dad and he was meeting him at the airport. On the way there, we didn’t really talk much. There was so much silence – and somehow it made everything even more painful.
I couldn’t handle the tension any longer, so I tried to break the ice.
“Hey, thank you for spending the summer with me. It was the best I’ve ever had.”
He only nodded.
“Umm, I’m sorry this only lasted for a short while...”
He looked down, he sniffed and rubbed his nose and sighed.
“Well, have fun in Milan! You needed a fresh start and you’re about to get one… Christian, I am proud of you.”
I tried to be supportive and not say anything that could be perceived as “something wrong” because I knew he was in a fragile state at the moment, though it seemed like he wasn’t going to respond the way I hoped he would. I was genuinely proud of him by the way – always have and always will.
He looked up but still avoiding eye contact, let out a slight smile and chuckled a little bit.
“Yeah, thanks.”
“And uh… Maybe you’d forget about me with all the girls you’re going to meet there...”
I immediately regretted what I just said. Shit. What the fuck did I just say?
He finally looked directly into my eyes – a look full of disbelief and disappointment. There was a moment of silence between us. This time, I was the one who couldn’t see him in the eyes.
“Chris, I’m so, so sorry I didn’t m-”
“How could you say that, Y/N?” He cut me off before I finished talking, by the tone of his voice I could tell he was mad at me.
I froze for a minute. I knew I had fucked up but I never thought it would be so much worse – at the moment I was really, really fucking shit up.
“Do you think my feelings for you aren't real enough so other girls can easily make it go away? Do you really think I can forget you just like that? Are you implying that what we had all summer will not stick in your memories?”
“Wha- no, Chris, that’s not what I mean!”
What a mess I had made... And before I knew it, tears started to fill my eyes.
“Well to me it sounded like that. I’m appalled to know you don’t see whatever we were as something real and meaningful. Maybe it was a mistake to even ask you to give us a chance in the first place.” He sounded like he was truly aching and filled with regrets.
I glanced at him for a bit and I saw him biting his lip and his face was already all red. I never wanted our goodbye to be this heartbreaking but well… In this situation it’s bound to happen, isn’t it? Because I didn’t want to escalate our situation any further, I decided to shut my mouth and stop talking altogether. I was aware that whatever I said might hurt him deeper. Fuck, why can’t things be easier?
—
After what felt like a very long ride, we finally got to the airport. We met Christian’s dad, Mark, at the front gate as I helped Christian with his belongings. Mark greeted me and gave me a hug.
“Hey, Y/N! Thanks for dropping Christian off, if only you could come with us to Italy!” Mark excitedly thanked me, not knowing what happened between Christian and I.
I shook my head and slightly laughed to cover my discomfort. Then I saw Christian looking at his watch, and whispered to his dad: “let’s go.”
I took it as my cue to leave, so I said my farewell to both of them.
“Well, have a safe flight, Mr. Pulisic.” I smiled and nodded at Mark.
Then I turned to Christian. He was still visibly upset – I didn’t have the heart to say anything, really. I had caused him a lot of pain, and I was afraid to open my mouth. But at the moment I knew I had to, since I didn’t know if we would ever see each other again.
“You too, Chris. Good luck over there.” I softly tapped his arm.
I waved at them and was ready to walk away when I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I turned around and it was Christian. He pulled me in for a hug – a very, very tight hug, like he wouldn’t let me go. He rested his head on my shoulder and I rubbed his back the whole time. It was a long hug – probably the longest ever for both of us – and we could no longer keep our overflowing emotions inside anymore.
“I’m sorry…” I whimpered.
“I know.” He whispered.
He stroked my head and kissed me in the forehead. His lips stayed there for a while.
“Y/N, I have to go...”
It was the hardest thing to do but I pulled away from the hug. Before he went inside, he took my hands and looked me in the eyes.
“Y/N, you will always be my greatest summer love… I will never forget you.” He said under his breath.
And the moment he walked through the gate, that was the last time I saw him in person. What we had might be short, but I will forever be thankful Christian made my summer unforgettable.
—
“You were my summer love
You always will be my summer love”
–
taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @swimmingismywholelife @chilwellspulisic @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @masonsrem @landoslover
#christian pulisic#christian pulisic x reader#christian pulisic x y/n#christian pulisic fic#christian pulisic fanfic#christian pulisic imagines#christian pulisic angst#footballer fic#footballer fanfic#footballer imagines#footballer angst
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I’m bored and ao3 is kinda dry (atleast for the wttt ny tag)
so here are some NY ships I NEED to see more of 🙏
—
MassYork: ok, I used to be almost totally opposed to this, seeing them having more of a brotherly relationship but with history n stuff it’s kinda not possible. But anyway, probably my main ship for now, bc OHMYGOD “nobody can kill you but me”? GET OUT, GET MARRIED, PLEASE.
like if it’s Mass/Cali/York or Mass/Jersey/York I will eat it up.
no questions, it is already in my mouth. I am eating the fuck outta this.
GeoYork: in my mind they have a cute dynamic. I feel they would be best friends as younger colonies and then have a very complicated relationship until they finally get together. Slowburn kinda, also kinda they have been in relationships dozens of times but something always happens. and isn’t Georgia called the “Empire State of the South”? or am I just hearing things
peach + apple? cobbler + pie? idek but I love them
TexYork: guys pls. southern gentleman and city boy? literally perfect for each other. they would make fun of each other endlessly. accents, vocabulary, actions, plus so much more because they’re very different.
TX taking York to his ranch to meet bro’s cows??? yes please. I’d like to meet Betsy too .
^TexaCaliYork: also a fire ship (see what I did there?) like the ship above, but with the hipster in it aswell. Texas and Cal constantly bicker like children and York sorts it out like a teacher would.
NY: you hurt his feelin’s, go apologize.
TX, scoffing: fine, but don’t expect me to get along with him after.
(spoiler alert!! York forces them into a cuddle pile afterwards to get over there lifelong beef)
IlliYork: they’re enemies, they’re lovers, the whole kit-and-caboodle. they’d switch hats sometimes and hold each others hand when they’re in their cities. they’re idiots and the Midwest and the Northeast hate them for it. It’s kinda gross but in a good way.
they’d be the couple who like hold hands in public but not make a single move other than that to show that they love the other. absolutely no kissing in public, they would just sit there in silence with a death grip on the other’s hand. they would totally insult each other to the face and then say, “Love you, tho.”
FloYork: fun fact: they are absolutely insane together. They influence each other and constantly say stupid shit. Florida would force York outta his comfort zone from time to time but the inner extrovert masked by New York’s fake introvert personality will do it almost willingly. he puts up a “fight” but he would deadass do it bc he thinks this shit is hilarious.
NY would be a little like Florida even if they weren’t dating. like NYC is absolutely batshit so that would mean York would have to be a little too.
NY/CA/TX/FL/LA: little crazy, ik, but I remember reading fics abt these five (including gov, but I’m still questioning if he would be in here or not) and absolutely devouring them. spectacular ship. it’s like a little bit of everything, except the Midwest and the other western states, but almost everything. I would love to see more of them.
they would def fight over each other. (who got to hold hands with who, who got to sleep/cuddle with who, etc.)
—
I’m not forcing you to give into my opinions, but if u like these, I like you 😼
some of these hc’s are not entirely mine, some were influenced, tho most are from the rotting part of my brain
I hope u use these ships in the future or I might spontaneously combust
(spoiler alert 2!! I will still explode [out of love] if u write about them)
ily guys
#wttt#welcome to the statehouse#wttsh#wttt new york#wttsh new york#wttsh headcanons#wttt headcanons#wttt shipping#wttt california#wttt texyork#wttt texas#wttt massyork#wttt massachusetts#wttt florida#wttt fandom#wttt main 5#wttt illinois#wttsh massachusetts#wttsh texas#wttt georgia#wttt louisiana#wttsh georgia#wttsh louisiana#this is a lot#wttt caliyork#be influenced by my state infested brain#you will write about these 🫵#/nf btw
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The ties that bind
Pairing- Dave York x f!reader x Francisco Morales
Series Summary-Dave is a private investigator who tracks down soulmates. He’s tasked to find Frankie’s, but what happens when he finds you and he wants you to himself?
CW-18+,MDNI, Angst,Fluff,Eventual Smut,Hurt, Comfort,MMF dynamics. General warnings for each chapter. Anything sensitive will be added to individual chapters.
WK-5.5K
A/N-This starts out angsty but I don’t write sad endings so keep that in mind going forward. Reader has a best friend very near and dear to my heart.
[Series Masterlist][Main Masterlist]
Not beta read
Chapter I
Dave looks over the file on his desk again before he makes the call. He reviewed it the night before and was going to contact the client until he realized not everyone holds the same weird hours as he does. Insomnia.
He takes a sip of his coffee as he dials the number with a Florida area code. At least he would get to enjoy some nice weather this time. The last soulmate he tracked down mid winter lived in Buffalo New York, he wasted weeks trying to find him only to find out he was happily married and had no intention of leaving his current wife. The woman who hired him was devastated but…devastated doesn’t pay the bills so she was out twenty grand, and went back to being single a few states over.
They don’t always end in misery but he’s used to it now. He wonders why he still does it, maybe helping these people will erase the thought of killing someone’s soulmate when he’s contracted for his other job. He can’t think about that one too much.
“Hello Santiago speaking.” Dave glances down at the file once more to be sure.
“Ugh yes I’m Dave York calling to reach Francisco Morales?” He hears a low curse on the other end and some apologies.
“Oh ya, just give me a second.” He can hear ruffling and the sound of a sliding door. My patience is already wearing thin.
“Thanks for returning my call. I’m actually hiring you on behalf of my friend Francisco.”
This wouldn’t be the first time he was contracted to find someone’s soulmate because some friend or family member couldn’t keep their nose where it belonged. There would most certainly be drama and resistance. Two things Dave did not handle well.
“That’s very generous of you. Is Francisco eager to find his soulmate?”
“He ugh…well…yes, yes he is.” Fat chance
“I would need to meet him of course to go through with this, you understand?”
“Of course, that won’t be a problem at all. I sent you the details of when and where we can meet and provided you with the deposit.” At least he means business, either way Dave doesn’t care about the in’s and outs of why people do it. He knows it’s important… or at least he did.
He finishes going over the rules with Santiago that will hopefully get relaid to Frankie. He’ll find your soulmate and set up a meeting. If the person does not wish to pursue the relationship he will relay that to you to avoid any in person embarrassment. No stalking or harassment involved. If he can’t find them within 30 days you get your money back.
Some people frowned upon what he did. Purists thought you should meet your soulmate organically. They were rarely alone for more than a few years before they found theirs so he didn’t like listening to what they had to say.
He wasted years trying to find his love. When he did find her…it was already too late. Those six months were the best and worst of his life. Knowing he’s found his soulmate and gets to spend every waking moment with her only to have it ripped from his grasp.
If he had to spend the rest of his tortured life helping others not waste time then he would.
****
Why the hell did Will make them wear bow ties? This must be Amanda’s suggestion, there’s no way he decided they should all be this uncomfortable on his wedding day.
Frankie looks over at Ben and Will having some brotherly talk as if the younger miller has some wise words of advice having been married for all of six months. He loved rubbing it in that he was able to tie the knot before the rest of them of course excluding Tom who got married years ago when they were all in basic.
He tries really hard not to be bitter on these days but he can’t help himself. Of course he ran that risk when he married someone who was not his soulmate. He loved Sophia so much it didn’t matter to him. It’s worked out for plenty of other people and it worked for him…until it didn’t.
He didn’t try very hard to find his soulmate. Between being in the military, not being able to put down roots for so long and the fact that his soulmate probably hated him for all his scars and tattoos he can’t say he put much of an effort into finding them.
The hummingbird tattoo on his wrist practically taunted him his entire marriage. He pretended he didn’t care and so did she. She always told him they would try for kids when she was ready and he never pushed. He thought she was finally ready when she told him they needed to talk. Never in a million years did he expect her to say she found her soulmate and she was leaving him.
Their baby boy should be a year old by now, Sophia was pregnant within a month of the divorce being finalized. This was information Santiago insisted despite the others protests that he needed to know so that he could move on.
He can’t put the blame all on her. He left for Colombia to bring home money so they could start a family and he came home with nothing but news that her best friend's husband was dead.
It must be some kind of fucked up karma that they went back for the money and now he’s alone. If he’s really being honest with himself, he knows they never really loved each other. It was convenient for both of them. Frankie doesn’t like being honest with himself so he'd rather continue on painting her as the villain in his story.
“Hermano, you need some help with that tie.” Santiago starts fidgeting before he can even answer no. He slaps his hands away and Santi backs away with his hands up in surrender.
“Why are you being so nice?”
“I’m always nice.” Frankie scoffs at that. Santiago was never nice unless he wanted something from you.
“You picked up my tux, gave me a ride here and now you’re offering to fix my tie?!” He gives him a look and Santi knows it’s only a matter of time.
“I have a surprise for you.” He resumes fixing his tie despite Frankie’s protests.
“The last time you surprised me someone died.” Santi clears his throat but doesn’t protest, it must be bad.
“I hired a PI to find your soulmate.” That last part is rushed out but Frankie hears him clear as day.
He shoves him back a few steps which draws the attention of Ben and Will. “Why the fuck would you do that?”
“Chill out Fish, what’s your problem?” Ben steps between the two of them as Frankie looks as though he could spit fire.
“I told him about the PI.” Ben whips around to Santi.
“I thought we were gonna wait until tomorrow.” Frankie looks over at Will in disbelief.
“You fucking knew about this?” He can see it in their eyes and how no one will look at him directly.
“Can we please talk about this tomorrow? I’m getting married in an hour.”
Sure he’ll talk tomorrow, they can all talk about staying out of his life and meddling in his business. Pope can call off the PI and they can all go back to being happy with their soulmates and Santiago can go fuck off somewhere in another country as he always does, leaving Frankie to mope alone with his thoughts.
“Ya we’ll talk tomorrow.” Ben comes over to fix his tie and Frankie clenches his fists at his side.
This is going to be a long day.
****
The new Mr.& Mrs. Miller do look very in love on the dance floor as Frankie enjoys his second piece of cake. Cake never betrayed him…his ex wife and his best friends maybe but never cake.
Ben dips his wife and it sorely reminds him of his wedding day when he and Sophia ended up with calloused feet from dancing all night.
His chest tightens at the sight of Molly dancing with her girls. She stayed so strong through it all and she looks so happy, maybe it’s just a front or maybe she’s choosing not to be a miserable sap like him. She lost her soulmate and never once judged them for what they did. She knew how Tom could be. Frankie doesn’t know how someone could treat their soulmate the way Tom treated Molly. He’s better off alone than with a soulmate who doesn’t love him back.
Santiago makes his way over to the table and gestures to the seat next to Frankie. He nods his head for him to sit down while he watches the dance floor. They sit in silence for a moment and Frankie thinks about how selfish he is for being so petulant about the whole thing.
Santiago never cared about finding his soulmate, maybe because of their line of work or maybe it was the nature of his being. He’ll never forget the look on his face when his tattoo’s disappeared. He told the guys it was fine but they could hear him trying to muffle his cries in his bunk.
“I’ll do it Pope.” Santiago looks at him with a mixture of shock and excitement.
“I came ready for an argument.” He slides Frankie’s plate closer to him to steal a bite of cake. “We meet him tomorrow.”
“Jesus what if I said no?” Frankie slides the plate back to himself, not ready to let go of his precious dessert.
“You might want to lay off the cake if you’re going to meet your soulmate soon.” Frankie flips him off as Santi grabs the plate and saunters off to the dance floor.
****
Dave’s always early to meet a client, but never this early. He couldn’t find a lot of information on Francisco Morales but he did find out he was Delta Force and so was the man that hired him on his behalf. He always met potential clients in a public place of their choosing to get an idea of who they are. There's no doubt in his mind that this coffee shop holds no significance to the two men and will most certainly not help him figure out anything about Francisco.
He knows it’s their military training that they will never seem to break free from. It doesn’t make it easy for your soulmate to find you when you're as mysterious as Francisco Morales. No social media, no parking tickets, no convictions. A minor hiccup with his pilot's license but his record was scrubbed clean a few years ago. It takes a lot of money to completely wipe your record.
Their trip to Colombia wasn’t as off the books as they thought. With Dave’s connections he can find out a lot more about the average person than they think. It’s true he is paid to find your soulmate but he has a duty to uphold to not put said person in harm's way. Frankie’s sketchy past and interesting finances make him a little wary to just introduce him to the person he’s supposed to spend the rest of his life with. He doesn’t know the circumstances behind his wife leaving him and that also has his guard up. Who just up and leaves after 8 years?
He pauses his thoughts momentarily as he notices an old Jeep pull into the parking lot of the cafe. He hasn’t seen a Jeep like that in years. His suspicions are correct when two men around his age step out. Still relatively in military shape, the shorter of the two in a black t-shirt much too tight for him and black jeans. The taller one in an open flannel and blue jeans donning a dirty cap and aviators…that must be Francisco.
They both survey the area as if it’s their first time here and that confirms his other notion that these men wanted to meet somewhere not near their home. Probably thirty minutes to an hour outside of where they actually live if he would guess. Fifteen minutes early to be safe but still not earlier than him.
“I should’ve worn something nicer.” Frankie smooths his hands down the front of his worn flannel as they approach the coffee shop. This was his nice flannel but maybe he could’ve taken an iron to it or something.
“Relax hermano, he didn’t bring your soulmate to the meeting.”
“You vetted this guy?” Frankie couldn’t find much information on David York, which worried him a little.
“As much as I could.” Frankie holds the door open for Santiago as they enter and head straight for the counter. Coffee is much needed after imbibing too much at the wedding. He’s grateful in hindsight that he chose this location just outside of town.
“Corner,black suit.”
Frankie glances up, hopefully shielded by his sunglasses. “He looks smug.”
“Don’t start.” Santi hisses under his breath as he steps up to place their order. “ Two black coffees please.”
Best case scenario, this guy finds his soulmate and Frankie can’t even wrap his head around what he would do with that information. It scares him to even think about it.
Worst case scenario, Pope is out some money that he didn’t ask him to spend in the first place and he can go back to whatever semblance of a life he was living before all this.
Way to be positive Frankie
****
Introductions are awkward to say the least. Frankie and Santi seated at the small cafe table across from Dave who has set a notepad down next to his small coffee. The silence is deafening as he scribbled down a few things after giving them a once over.
“So I’m sure you have some questions for me. If you don’t mind holding those until I’ve gone over everything.” He’s not really asking and Frankie already had his hackles up at the grim outlook of the man in front of him.
He always hated ‘suits’ . This guy is obviously ex-government and he’s not really sure how someone like him ended up in the line of work of finding someone’s soulmate. Besides the obvious monetary aspect there is a lot of love and emotion involved and the man seated before him doesn’t strike him as the romantic type.
“Why did you decide to hire me to find your soulmate?” I didn’t hire you. Frankie looks over at Santiago hoping he’ll help him out a little.
“Well ugh…I actually didn’t.” Dave raises his eyebrows at that but lets him continue. “My friend here was kind enough to give me a push in the right direction.” After too many drinks and a lot of talking he reconciled with Santi that this was something he should at least try to pursue.
Everything seems pretty straightforward once he starts going over his normal way of doing things. Frankie understands after the initial round of uncomfortable questions that Dave needs to make sure he’s not some weirdo. He opted to return a few peoples initial deposit upon meeting them and not deeming them safe enough or sane enough to track down their soulmate and uproot their lives.
Frankie’s thankful he doesn’t pry too much into his reason for divorcing. Dave mostly wanted to make sure that he was not still legally married because he won’t set anyone up for heartbreak.
Dave has a thirty day guarantee, if he doesn’t find them in that time frame you get a full refund. Frankie is a little shocked at his confidence. People spend their entire lives trying to find their soulmate and he can somehow guarantee it.
“So, now that I’ve gone over all the logistics. Do you have any questions for me?” Frankie looks to Santiago who’s been uncharacteristically quiet throughout this meeting. Maybe out of courtesy for Frankie or perhaps he’s sizing him up. Either way, Frankie really only has one thing he is curious about.
“Why do you do it?”
Dave takes a sip of his lukewarm coffee. It’s pretty bad if he’s being honest but he needs a moment. He always needs a moment when this question is brought up. It’s usually one of the only questions he hates answering. Truthfully answering would require to let people in ‘strangers’.
These same strangers trust him enough to do this so as uncomfortable as it is he provides enough of an answer to suit both parties.
“I hate to say that it pays well, but I have to state the obvious.” For the first time during the meeting Frankie can see his hard exterior crack a little. The first time where he seems nervous and unsure of what he’s going to say.
“Also…I wish I had met my wife sooner. I may have had more time with her.”
Santiago excuses himself from the table. He doesn’t do well with emotions. Frankie knows that probably stung a little. He’s not sure if it’s worse that Santi never got to meet them or if meeting them briefly makes it all that more painful.
“I appreciate your honesty Dave.” He sends him a tight lip smile that doesn’t meet the eyes.
“If that’s all you have for me I’ll be in touch in the next few days hopefully with an update.”
Frankie shakes his hand, a firm handshake he notes to himself. Dave has a nice build, he’s not sure why he makes a note of that as well.
Frankie finished the rest of his coffee and headed outside. Santi leans against the back of the Jeep scrolling idly on his phone. He looks up at him but says nothing as they both get in, Frankie in the driver's seat.
“I just needed some air.” Santiago looks out the passenger window seemingly fixated on the passing cars.
“I know hermano.” He doesn’t need to say anything more.
Neither of them speak for a while, too many thoughts on their minds as they ponder the meeting and what all of it means. Seeing Santiago still struggling with losing his soulmate makes Frankie want to give this his all.
****
Santi can’t shake the thought of Dave doing all this because he didn’t have enough time with his soulmate. At least he got to spend some time with them. He's lied to himself all these years after his tattoos and scars of his soulmate were long gone. This was not about him though, this is about helping his friend move on and be happy. That’s all he wants for them after the chaos he caused in Colombia. He has to make things right for him. Frankie may not see it as his fault but Santiago can’t help but think maybe Sophia would’ve stayed if things hadn’t gone so poorly.
Santiago would never know that things started to sour in their relationship long before that Ill fated trip to steal someone else’s money.
Frankie was the one who had it all together. A real job he could be proud of , a wife he loved , a house for their future family. Things quickly fell apart for him after they returned and he was no longer the one that they looked to for guidance.
Santiago made it his mission to help Frankie get back on his feet after they went back for the money. Frankie got his license back, he bought a home that didn’t remind him of all his memories with his ex wife, now all he needed to do was find love.
Santi rubs his hands across his jeans trying to shake himself from the trance. Frankie eyes him cautiously from the driver’s seat.
Santiago leans forward to turn the radio down. “So how are you feeling about all this?”
“Considering he has a guarantee, a little better than I felt going in.”
He doesn't want to get his hopes up too much but he’s starting to get that feeling like things may be taking a turn for the better.
Frankie pulls up to Santi’s house and puts the car in park.
“I know what you’re gonna say, I’ll be fine I promise and I’ll call you later after I sleep off this hangover.” Frankie smiles at that,Santiago only lets a select few into his world and he won’t push it any further.
“I just want to say thanks Pope. This really means a lot.” Santi waves him off and hops out, he knows how much it means but he’s not gonna get any more emotions out of this day.
“Love you hermano, this time next year we’ll be planning your wedding.” Santi calls out over his shoulder before he enters his house. Frankie wants to roll his eyes at that but he secretly hopes that he’s right.
****
“Alicia! We’re gonna be late.” You stand in your bedroom in front of the floor length mirror putting the finishing touches on your makeup. The modest yellow sundress and strappy heels you bought ages ago are finally getting some use.
“I can’t decide on what to wear.” You faintly hear her yell from her bedroom.
You’re not particularly excited about this singles event she signed you up for but you certainly didn’t want to walk in late and have all eyes on you. She’s your best friend so you agreed to accompany her on one of her many schemes to get you back on the dating scene.
You cross the hall to her room and find a mountain of clothes on her bed and more clothes flying out of her closet.
“Let me see what you’re wearing.” She emerges from her closet in a slinky black dress to match her long black hair. She was a bombshell in anything she wore so you aren’t sure what the hold up is.
“Alicia that looks hot, wear that.” She gives herself a once over in the mirror as she smooths her hands down the front.
“You don’t think this is sending the wrong message?”
“Babe you said yourself you need to get laid.” You glance down at the time on your phone. “Shit we’re gonna be really late.”
“You’re right, I did say that. Thanks for talking me off a ledge.” She grabs her phone from the nightstand as you follow her out of the room.
“You’re gonna need to pretend my room is yours if you bring someone home though.” You gesture towards the disaster she left on her bed.
She turns to you, grabbing your face and kissing your forehead. “Only a true friend would let me defile her bed for the sake of a hookup.”
You laugh as you shoo her along out the door. “That’s what friends are for.”
****
The bad news, you were indeed late. The good news is no one seems to notice as you both enter the hotel lounge for the event. Everyone is talking and mingling amongst themselves so you and Alicia have an opportunity to grab a drink and settle in.
You haven’t been on a proper date in years so she thought this would be a nice way to ease back into things. No pressure or obligations and no awkward first date etiquette. People were just here to simply talk and get to know each other. If you made a connection that was great but if you just didn’t like someone then there were no hard feelings.
“Cute guy at twelve o'clock is checking you out.” You try to do a subtle scan of the room as you sip your fruity drink.
“Alicia I don’t know what that means…Wait how do you know he wasn’t checking you out?” She steps in front of you to slightly block your view.
“He’s in the gray button down on my right .” She half whispers as she attempts a head nod. “Do you see him?”
“Oh shit he’s coming over here.” You both do your best worst to act casual as a tall and very attractive…distractingly attractive man walks over.
“I do have to say yellow is definitely your color.”
“Told you.” Alicia says under her breath as she leaves you at the bar with this stranger.
You thank him politely for his compliment and introduce yourself as you try to ignore the lewd gestures your best friend is making with her hands behind his back. Thankfully she’s interrupted by a man with a tap on her shoulder. He’s noticeably not the type she goes for. He’s much too tall for her…she prefers to tower over her love interests ‘it makes me feel powerful’ in her words.
Jeff was nice enough as he engaged you in conversation. He mostly droned on about his job in finance and his hobbies, his five year goals and now come to think of it…you didn’t really get a chance to talk about yourself. He excused himself from the conversation when he saw someone he knew in the crowd, leaving you in your comfortable silence once again.
Your moment of reprieve is short lived when a woman approaches you. You actually enjoy talking to her and you can tell she’s listening intently. She’s beautiful, funny and smart. Perhaps another time you would be interested but she mentioned she just got out of a long term relationship and you don’t have the energy to be someone’s rebound. You’ve spent years repairing your broken heart and if this is your one attempt at trying to find love again it just wouldn’t be fair to either of you.
You still exchanged numbers after she’d said how nice it was to meet you. Your eyes immediately find Alicia’s across the room with a man who could be her grandfather. He doesn’t seem to notice her look of save me etched across her face. You take this moment to tease her a bit, making the same hand motions she did earlier. An older woman looks on in shock when you realize a little too late that you’ve caught the attention of others in the room.
After offering an apologetic smile, you gather yourself and join her across the room.
“Sorry to interrupt, Alicia, can I borrow you for a moment.”
She loops her arm in yours pulling you close to her side. “It was nice to meet you Irving.”
“The pleasure is all mine dear.” He takes her free hand, planting a sloppy wet kiss on the top. You bite your cheek to stifle a laugh as she waves him off. You can feel her eyes on you as you exit the lounge.
If looks could kill you’d be a goner.
“Irving seemed nice.”
“Shut up.”
You both burst into a fit of giggles as you make it safely to the hotel lobby out of sight of anyone trying to vy for your attention.
These were the moments you lived for with your best friend. The reason you were able to get back on your feet when you moved across the country to start your life over. She took you in like a stray cat, no questions asked when you replied to her ad looking for a roommate. You didn’t find out until later on that she didn’t need the money, she just hated living alone.
She came from a wealthy family and traveled the world before settling in Naples Florida. She never had a soulmate…it wasn’t out of the ordinary for people to go their entire lives without so much as a mark or tattoo. It makes you wonder if the universe chooses at random or if people are destined for that path. She is such a free spirit it almost makes sense why she can’t be tied down to just one person. Her biggest problem is making sure her current interests aren't only after her for money.
“So…what’s the plan for the rest of the evening babe?” You both step out still arm in arm. It’s a beautiful sunset starting just over the tops of the buildings downtown. You could walk down to the beach or drab a drink at another bar.
You can feel your dress starting to cling to your back from the humidity and you made a huge mistake wearing heels that weren’t broken in yet. Alicia looks at you and then pulls out her phone to call a car to come get you. “Let’s go home and eat ice cream while we discuss what a train wreck that was.”
You let out a sigh of relief as you push back trying to stand on the heels of your feet. “That sounds like a perfect night.”
****
“At one point he actually took his dentures out to show me.” Alicia buries her head in the pillow as you make a disgusted face.
“That’s awful. I’m so sorry.” You’re laughing to the point of a stomach ache.
“Ya, you sound really sorry.” She throws the pillow at you on the other end of the couch. “So tell me about the girl. You were talking to her for a while.” She raises one eyebrow at you as she reaches down to the coffee table for the carton of rocky road.
“She was nice.” You lean forward grabbing the carton from her hands. “She was more than nice actually…but she just got out of a serious relationship.”
“Ugh…no one wants to be a rebound.”
Your thoughts exactly.
You swear sometimes you share a brain, or maybe you have just spent so much time with each other that you can’t help but think alike.
“I’m glad we went, I needed to break the ice. It’s not like the love of my life is gonna waltz into the record store.” You loved your job, you always had a love for music. There was something so special about the medium of records standing the test of time. That’s the kind of love you wanted.
“Let’s just marry each other if this dating thing doesn’t work out.” She holds out her pinky as you wrap yours around hers.
“Deal.”
“Deal.”
You raise from the couch gathering your plush blankets. “I’m gonna turn in for the night, love you leesh.”
“Love you too hon’, get some sleep.”
****
Sleep
That was a joke in its own right. The problem with having anxiety is the one time where your brain should quiet down is when it wants to be the most active.
You brush your thumb along the etched roses on your ring finger. It’s such a fine and delicate tattoo, the line work is beautiful and the stem of it perfectly curls around coming to a point at the end of your finger.
You hate to assume, but it’s always felt feminine in nature. It doesn’t seem like a drunken mistake or a rushed decision. The tattoo feels intentional. You had a lot of tattoos in a short amount of time when you were in college. These tattoos were overtly masculine. A small Blackhawk tattoo on your left wrist, almost mirroring your hummingbird. A gun of some kind on your left ankle…you weren’t familiar with firearms. A tiny elephant on the inside of your left thigh, by far the most adorable of the set.
In short succession they all adorned your body before you graduated from the California Institute of the Arts with a minor in arts management and a major in music history. Your step mother always said it was a waste and your father couldn’t be bothered to defend you. Your mother would have been proud though.
It was years before the roses showed up on your finger one beautiful spring day. It was so unlike the others it turned your world upside down.
The reason you moved across the country to escape the control and the pressure of someone who couldn’t love you with those scars and tattoos. Resenting you more and more each day knowing that you belonged to someone else.
It’s those thoughts that keep you up at night. The nightmares and horrible things that only your mind thinks up. As much as you try to push those thoughts away, you know deep down someone is out there. Made for you.
We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.
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Your Home's Really Only a Town You're Just a Guest In
2.5k words | Logan Sargeant/Oscar Piastri | The Miami GP is over in a matter of seconds for Logan. Losing it all at his home race makes him realize a few things about what home and family truly mean
He was spinning before he’d even registered the impact. He barely had the brain capacity to cross his arms over his chest as his car went careening off the track. The gravel trap rattled his teeth and he tasted blood as he bit down on his tongue. He braced himself for impact just before his car hit the barrier, sending a shockwave down his spine, making his toes tingle and his head snap forward, despite the brace holding him in. God, that fucking hurt.
He’d never get used to this feeling. One might think he had, considering the amount of times he’d been in this position over the last year. He pushed down the self-deprecating thoughts for now, only focusing on moving his hands enough to press the radio button and answer his engineer’s desperate pleas to know if he was alright.
“Oh mate,” he groaned, unable to think of a more intelligent response.
“Not your fault. Not your fault.”
“Ugh. I bit my fucking tongue.”
He knew SkySports would be angry at him for having to spend money on the bleep effect but he didn’t have it in him to care at the moment.
“You okay? Are you okay?”
He huffed into his helmet, trying to catch his breath, “I- yes. I think so. Did I do something wrong?”
He couldn’t think of anything he could have done, he couldn’t even see Kevin in his mirrors. The first look he’d gotten at the car had been blurry at best as he spun his way off the track and the Haas kept on racing.
“No I don’t think you did. I’ll look at the review. Can you get out of the car on your own?”
“Yeah, I’ve got it.”
He began undoing his seat belts as the marshals moved toward his car. One gave him a helping hand and he stepped over the halo, hopping from the cockpit, the crunch of gravel under his boots. This was it. His home race was completely undone in less than 30 seconds. And he’d been doing alright too. He’d been on pace with Alex, he’d placed higher in the sprint. For the first time since Australia he’d felt a little glimmer of confidence. However, this sport and everyone around him seemed determined to put out any fire he had as quickly and as harshly as possible.
The marshal led him to the evacuation car and he slid into the backseat, placing his helmet next to him. He wished the ride to the Williams garage was longer than a few minutes. He wished he had more time to come up with something better to say to his team other than a weak apology for fucking up another car. His only saving grace was that his parents weren’t in the paddock. Instead they were probably shaking their heads from their couch, turning off the tv and moving on to do something else since their son had failed so spectacularly, yet again.
As he stepped out of the car into the oppressive Miami heat, he found himself wishing for England. So rarely did he miss the gray skies, but today they would match his mood much better than the inescapable Florida sunshine. He wished for the milder temperatures of Monaco, where the sun didn’t feel like quite as much of a mockery. Where he could hide in Alex and Lily’s apartment and neither of them would push him to speak until he was ready. Where he could escape to Lando’s and play games with him and Oscar and Max Fewtrell until his throat was sore from yelling and he felt slightly human again. Where Max would grow tired of Lando complaining about him moping and invite him over for dinner. Where he could sit in his designated seat on the balcony (declared as such by a drawing featuring entirely too much glitter, made of course by Penelope) and drown his sorrows in cheap European beer. Where people actually cared about him, or at least pretended to.
But no. He was trapped here, as if held down by the humidity that blanketed the entire state he had once called home. Now, he felt more like a guest. He knew that after this race was all said and done, he’d crawl back home to his parents’ house that bore no signs of their second son, save for a few pictures on the walls, relics of his karting and junior formula days. He was a guest in the place where he was raised.
A firm hand gripped his bicep as he was led into the garage, “Are you alright?”
Elias had practically materialized next to him and was leading him past all of the engineers and mechanics, their well wishes and promises of “There was nothing you could have done” nothing more than tv static as they made their way hastily toward his driver’s room. Elias unlocked the door and pushed Logan inside but didn’t follow.
“Take your time. Get cleaned up and settle down. Don’t come back out until you feel human again.”
“What if I never feel human again?” The vulnerability spilled from his lips in the worst case of word vomit he’d ever experienced. He didn’t have a chance in hell of stopping the words once they started flowing.
“You will. I know it doesn’t feel like it and you don’t want to listen to my pep talk right now, so I’ll save that for Alex later. But you will feel human again Logan. You will come out on the other side, stronger and better because of everything you’ve been through.”
“Can you ask James if there’s still room on the flight back for me tomorrow?” he asked instead of acknowledging what his trainer had just said.
“I thought you were staying for a few days. You had plans to fish with Kyle and go to the hockey game.”
“I know. And I’m sorry, I do really want to take you out on the boat. I just don’t know how much longer I can be here before I suffocate.”
“I understand. Don’t worry about me, I’ll get everything sorted with James. Just promise me that you’ll talk to your brother before we go. He’s worried about you.”
“Dalton is always worried about me.”
“He loves you. Don’t take it for granted.”
With that Elias slipped back out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. Logan sighed and laid back on the massage table, staring at the ceiling. He could hear the faint roar of engines in the distance. He wondered if Lando was still leading? Maybe one of them would finally have some good luck. He forced himself into a sitting position and leaned over to retrieve his phone from the front pocket of his backpack. He pulled up his brother’s contact and sent a message.
To Dalton: with mom and dad?
From Dalton: Yeah but I can leave. Need me?
To Dalton: yeah
From Dalton: Okay. Give me five
Logan counted in intervals of sixty until his phone began to buzz in his palm. Dalton always kept his promises.
“Hey little bro.”
“Are Mom and Dad around?”
“Nope. I went down to the dock. I figured you wanted this to be a private conversation.”
“Are they still watching the race?”
“Yeah. We’re all rooting for Lando’s first win. They aren’t mad at you Loges, there was nothing you could have done.”
“Yeah that time. What about all the others? They’re disappointed and you know it.”
“I know what they can be like Loges. Trust me, I know better than anyone. They want you to succeed but they don’t understand what the pressure does to you.”
“‘Pressure makes diamonds son’.”
Logan’s poor imitation of their father’s deep southern accent made Dalton chuckle.
“Pressure makes dust. You can’t let them get to you bud. This is how they are about everything, it's how they always will be. You just have to prove them wrong.”
“They won’t give me a chance.”
“Mom and Dad? Or the team?”
“Both. Every time something starts to go well for me, Williams tears the rug out from under my feet. Mom and Dad will always side with them, especially Dad. Nothing is ever good enough, I don’t even know why I bother anymore. I love a sport that hates me and I’m a guest in my own fucking family. I don’t belong anywhere Dalton. I don’t belong in Europe, I don’t belong here, I should just fucking disappear and then everyone would be happier.”
“I wouldn’t. Kyle wouldn’t. Neither would Alex or Oscar or even fucking Lando. Loges, you’re so focused on everything that’s working against you, that you can’t acknowledge that there are people in your corner. Williams fans fucking love you, but all you care about is the keyboard warriors who think you should make your car levitate to avoid being hit. Fuck them. And fuck anyone who ever says you can’t do something. Fuck Mom and Dad. But don’t toss aside the people that want to help you. When was the last time you talked to Oscar about how you feel? Or are you just telling him that you’re fine and that none of this shit affects you? Because I know the truth, Loges. When are you gonna stop lying to yourself and playing tough guy and accept some help? Because until you start leaning on the people around you, you’re gonna keep crumbling. And I won’t be the one that’s left to pick up the pieces. Not again. I love you way too much to watch you destroy yourself because you’re stubborn.”
“I love you too.”
“Now what are you going to do?”
“Stop feeling sorry for myself.”
“And?”
“Go out tonight to celebrate Lando’s win. Then I’m gonna go back to England tomorrow with the team and work over data with Alex so we can find a way to fix this tractor of a fucking car.”
“Good. I’m proud of you little brother. Call me anytime, day or night. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll see you soon. But not until you’re ready.”
“I’ll see you soon.”
As he cleaned himself up and changed from his sweaty race suit to his usual team kit, he turned on the monitors to watch Lando win the race. He left the team (with permission from Gaetan) to run down to the pit lane and congratulate his friend. He found Oscar and Alex, leaning against the wall together, waiting for their turn in the media pen and joined them so he could fulfill his own duties to the press.
“Hey Osc,” he linked their pinkies together briefly in greeting, before pulling away. “Shame about your race.”
“Yeah, some people were just itching for penalties today,” Oscar rolled his eyes. “How are you doing? You seem surprisingly carefree.”
Alex regarded him with a raised brow, “You are suspiciously calm.”
“I talked to Dalton. I’m still annoyed about the crash but Kevin got what he deserved and there’s nothing else I can do. Other than comb through the data and try to figure out a way to make this God forsaken tractor go any faster.”
“I’m with you,” Alex agreed. “I already told Gaetan and James to book a conference room and stock the fridge with Monster because we’re gonna be there a while.”
Logan chuckled and bumped their shoulders together, “I’ll be there Monday.”
Alex raised his brow again, “I thought you were staying for a few more days?”
“I was going to. But, I need a change of scenery. And living in London has ruined me. I can’t handle the heat.”
Oscar gave him a look that said they’d talk about it later, but was called away by his press officer, “You’re coming out with us tonight. We’re celebrating Lando’s win!”
“I expected nothing less.”
*****
It was way too late (or early, depending on how you looked at it) when they finally made it back to the hotel Mclaren was staying in. He and Oscar had left the party a few minutes early, leaving Lando in Max’s capable hands. Elias had already retrieved his luggage from his parent’s place and had it brought to Oscar’s room. Once they were both showered and half asleep, Oscar finally asked what he’d been dying to all night.
“So what made you decide you want to leave early?”
“I talked to Dalton. And he made me realize that how I’ve been acting lately isn’t healthy. I’m tearing myself down to meet these unrealistic expectations my parents have set for me and I’m killing myself to try and prove myself to people who don’t actually care. I’ve been realizing lately that I feel like a guest here. Florida isn’t really home. I don’t really feel at home anywhere to be honest. Only with you, or Alex. Sometimes Lando and Max.”
“You know what my mom told me once? It was right after I left Australia for good and I was so homesick it hurt. And boarding school sucked and I was just about ready to give it all up and come home. But my mom told me that home isn’t really a place, it’s people. And family isn’t just the people who raised you. So I’d always be welcome at home with them, but I was also responsible for making my own home and my own family and that once I did that, I wouldn’t be so lonely. A few months after that, we became teammates. And I figured out pretty quickly what my mom meant. I know you’re proud of being from America, to be the first American in F1 in a long time. But that isn’t your whole identity, Loges. And Florida doesn’t have to be your home because you were born here. Your home can be in England with me, or Monaco with Max, Lando and Alex. You can consider both places home if you want because all of us are your family. We care about you so much baby, especially me. It has hurt so bad to see you struggle for so long. I just want you to realize you’re with so much outside of racing and outside of your hometown. You will never be a guest with me Logan, I hope you know that.”
“I do. And I’m starting to figure out this family thing. I just think it’s going to take some time. I have to really figure out where I belong in the world.”
“I know. And I’ll always be with you, there is nowhere you can go that I won’t follow.”
“I’m stuck with you forever huh?”
“You bet your ass you are. You’re stuck with Lando too because he’ll tag along just to be annoying. And Max because he has to supervise when I’m not around. And Alex, because he’s just along for the ride.”
Logan laughed and hugged Oscar close, “I think I’m okay with that.”
He stared at the ceiling as Oscar snored lightly next to him, waiting for sleep to come. So what if he felt like a guest in his home? He’d just make another.
#logan sargeant#logan sargeant fanfiction#loscar#oscar piastri#williams racing#williams f1#formula 1 rpf#my works
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By Julia Conley
Common Dreams
Oct. 7, 2024
"The warming world has forcibly shifted my manner from calm concern to agitated dismay," said John Morales. "Now I look at storms differently. And I communicate differently."
As NBC6 hurricane specialist John Morales in Miami reported on the rapid drop in barometric pressure as Hurricane Milton gained strength in the Gulf of Mexico on Monday, the veteran meteorologist's voice broke.
"It has dropped 50 millibars in 10 hours," Morales said, becoming visibly emotional. "I apologize, this is just horrific."
The storm is expected to make landfall on the west coast of Florida on Wednesday as the state struggles to recover from Hurricane Helene.
Morales spoke as the hurricane's winds reached 160 miles per hour and climate experts noted that the Gulf of Mexico and Atlantic Ocean's waters have been abnormally warm.
"The seas are just incredibly, incredibly hot, record hot, as you might imagine," said Morales. "You know what's driving that. I don't need to tell you. Global warming, climate change [are] leading to this and becoming an increasing threat."
Morales posted the clip on social media later, saying he "debated whether to share" the emotional moment in which he reported on what is likely to be further catastrophic damage to his home state as well as parts of Mexico.
"Frankly, you should be shaken too, and demand climate action now," said Morales.
A week ago, the meteorologist wrote in the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists that Hurricane Helene, which killed more than 230 people across six states, was "a harbinger of the future."
"For decades I had felt in control. Not in control of the weather, of course. But in control of the message that, if my audience was prepared and well informed, I could confidently guide them through any weather threat, and we'd all make it through safely," wrote Morales. "Today as a result of so many compounding climate-driven factors, the warming world has forcibly shifted my manner from calm concern to agitated dismay. Now I look at storms differently. And I communicate differently."
"No one can hide from the truth," he added. "Extreme weather events, including hurricanes, are becoming more extreme. I must communicate the growing threats from the climate crisis come hell or high water—pun intended."
Former U.S. Rep. Debbie Mucarsel-Powell (D-Fla.), who is running for Senate, was among those who applauded Morales' frank assessment of the crisis facing his state and the country.
"I've never seen someone like John Morales get emotional about a storm before. He understands these systems better than most and it should be a warning for all of us to get ready now," said Mucarsel-Powell. "We MUST have the courage to stand up to climate denialists and take action before it is too late."
#hurricane milton#florida#category 5 hurricane#extreme weather#climate emergency#john morales#climate deniers#debbie mucarsel-powell
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Post 1302
Frankie E Bybee, Florida inmate S42207, born 1970, incarceration intake November 2017 at age 47, scheduled for release July 2025
Exploitation of Elderly or Disabled Person, Fraud Use of Personal Identification
In January 2021, a former Sarasota County deputy whose sentence was partly reversed was resentenced.
Frank Bybee appeared frail and visibly shaking as he entered court in a wheelchair. He made an emotional plea to Judge Donald H. Mason: “I want to apologize to Marcia Sohl. She should never have had to go through any of this, the court’s distress. I want to apologize to my profession. The Sheriff’s Office is top notch, one of the best in the state of Florida. I used to work with (Assistant State Attorney and prosecutor) Karen Fraivillig. I’m sure it was hard for her and personal to come after me. I apologize for what it’s done to my family and my marriage, my three boys.”
Assistant Public Defender Marc Gilman said Bybee has had two brain surgeries to remove a tumor the size of a grapefruit and a stroke since he was imprisoned in 2017 for crimes against the elderly.
The victim, Marcia Sohl, 82, a former New York City teacher, died in July 2019.
Despite arguments that his health was declining because of poor medical care in prison, Judge Mason resentenced Bybee to 10 years in prison for exploitation of the elderly and 10 years probation for three counts of computer crimes.
Bybee will receive credit for time served on seven counts of fraudulent use of identification information, and five years probation on a count of fraudulent use of identification information.
"I'm happy the judge took his medical condition into consideration," Assistant Public Defender Marc Gilman said. "I'm happy he got a little time off his sentence. That shows sometimes things can work out in good ways. I understand he still needs to be punished. That's part of what the system is designed to do."
In November 2017, Bybee was sentenced to 15 years in prison for 13 felonies that included kidnapping, exploitation of elderly, three counts of computer fraud and eight counts of fraudulent use of information.
But in an opinion filed by Second District Appeals Judge Susan Rothstein-Youakim in May 2020, Bybee’s kidnapping conviction was reversed. Rothstein-Youakim said Bybee received ineffective assistance from his defense attorneys. Their failure to move for a judgment of acquittal when there were serious concerns about evidence is reviewable on appeal, the judge said.
The charges against Bybee arose out of his relationship with the then 79-year-old woman and covered a period of about three months. He was sent to her house Oct. 16, 2016, because she was threatening suicide. She was transported to the hospital and involuntarily committed under the Baker Act. Bybee stayed to pray with her, and they exchanged cell phone numbers.
The woman and Bybee began communicating regularly. Over the next few months, the deputy came to her house to do chores such as painting and minor repairs.
As the woman’s health began to decline, she was admitted to the hospital more than once and spent time in rehabilitation facilities, according to court documents.
By December 2016, their relationship had soured.
The woman called the Sheriff’s Office twice to complain about Bybee’s involvement in her life. The agency told him not to have further contact with her.
After interviewing the woman, the Sheriff’s Office opened an internal affairs investigation of Bybee to determine if he was engaging in an inappropriate relationship with someone with whom he had been involved in an official capacity, court documents stated.
Investigators found that Bybee repeatedly accessed the woman’s AOL account and emails, accessed her financial information, accessed her PayPal account and withdrew money using her debit card.
On Dec. 29, after Bybee was told to cease his contact with the woman, she was once again Baker Acted. While evidence exists that Bybee sent a message from the woman’s email account that set in motion law enforcement’s response to her home, deputies and medical staff at the hospital made the decision to Baker Act the woman based on their observations.
“Both the responding deputies and the hospital staff were statutorily authorized to make the determinations that they made,” Rothstein-Youakim wrote.
Assistant Public Defender Karen M. Kinney, who handled Bybee’s appeal, called state prosecutors’ assertions that there was kidnapping a refutable “theory.” However, Bybee’s counsel, John Lakin and Ronald Kurpiers, did not raise an issue with the charge at the right time, she said.
Fraivillig, who represented the state during Bybee’s trial in October 2017, wanted his sentence to remain the same at 15 years for four second-degree felonies. She said the original judgment was a “merciful sentence.”
Sarasota County Sheriff Tom Knight said at the original trial that Deputy Frankie Bybee had befriended the victim, a 79-year-old Sarasota woman, while responding to a service call.
Knight said when the woman entrusted Bybee -- an 18-year agency veteran and married father of three -- with her dog, whom the deputy sold the dog through Craigslist. The dog was reunited with the woman.
Knight said at the time, Bybee was placed on administrative leave after the deputy’s fingerprint was found on checks totaling $65,000 that the victim said had been fraudulently signed.
Bybee will need constant medical care and CT scans for the rest of his life.
4l
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