#my 3 (approx) mutuals

[birdmenmanga]

(sliding beads along my abacus) I mean no matter how you slice it I'm going to have time to draw something for all of my birdmutuals. Let's be generous and say that I have like 15 of them. I think a third of them will not care enough to put out a list, another handful will forget to do it, which means realistically I think I'm going to end up in the ballpark of maybe like. 7. I feel like 30 minutes is plenty of time to drawr a little gift or something. so let's say max case scenario. 12 birdmutuals submit lists. I could knock that out easily in 3 days.

[solis-angelus]

narcissism. 💅

[wheeboo]

paging dr. heartthrob | lee chan {TEASER}

SYNOPSIS. You can’t afford to be burnt out, especially during a crucial era of your life: being in medical school. Enter your best friend—a boy with a tough-looking exterior, a skateboard that’s seen better days, and a heart softer than his beat-up converse—Lee Chan, with his backpack full of snacks, and an uncanny ability to show up exactly when you need him most. He may not be a doctor, nor exactly your therapist, but he certainly is a heartthrob, and your heart can’t help but always page him. PAIRING. skater boy!lee chan x med student!reader (ft. lowkey stoner!vernon, med student!jeonghan, med student!joshua, soonyoung) GENRE. fluff, childhood best friends to lovers, angst, suggestive, hurt/comfort, college au WARNINGS (FOR THE TEASER). swearing, vaping and mention of weed, just silly banter between two "best friends" <3 WARNINGS (FOR FULL FIC). swearing, food and drinking mentions, suggestive, drug use (weed & vaping), so much fucking mutual pining!!!, reader is quite literally me so self-indulgent maybe?, reader is an overthinking anxious burnt-out mess :((, chan has a mullet, piercings, and tattoos yes (re: cough attacca dino cough), chan is a self-critical perfectionist oof, vague descriptions of minor injuries, mental health topics, medical terminology language, a scene of a panic attack WORD COUNT (FOR THE TEASER). 1.3k WORD COUNT (FOR FULL FIC). approx 20-25k

notes: hello, my little flowers! this is my teaser for the @camandemstudios "the lonely heart's cafe" collab <3. I'VE BEEN BLESSED TO FINALLY WRITE FOR LEE CHAN‼️if you would like to be tagged when this fic comes out, please send an ask or comment down below! sign up for the taglist for the entire collab here! please send all your love to the other authors who are participating in this as well !!

“You’re late,” he calls out, kicking the skateboard up into his hands and jogging over to meet you.

You roll your eyes but can’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. “Blame my neuro attending. That man has the stamina of a marathon runner and the patience of a saint. Could rival Derek Shepherd, to be honest. I think I aged ten years today.” You set your bag down on the floor next to a nearby bench. “You didn’t wait long, did you?”

“Nah, not that long. You actually came before Vernon𑁋he left his vape here,” Chan says while fishing the vape out of his pocket and taking a shameless hit from it, a cloud of vapour floating into the air when he exhales, before offering it to you with a teasing grin. “Want a hit?”

You scrunch your nose, shaking your head with a laugh. “Offering me, a med student, that shit is crazy. My lungs are precious thank you, unlike you and Vernon.”

“Tell that to those bozos.” He points to the noisy teenagers at the other side of the park, before sitting right next to you on the bench. “Can’t even roll over there without getting smacked in the face with weed.”

Your smile falters just slightly as you watch him lean back, his face tilting towards the darkening sky. The dim light of the streetlamps catches on the curve of his jaw, the slope of his nose, the relaxed purse of his lips, and highlights the dragon tattoo that snakes up his arm. He looks... peaceful. Content. Like the world isn’t asking too much from him tonight, like there’s no weight of expectations pressing on his shoulders, unlike you.

“I messed up today during clinicals,” You randomly confess, making Chan turn toward you. “There was this patient today… a girl. Seventeen years old, has a tumour that’s basically about to split her brain in half. I kept arguing with my attending about treatments, and I was so sure I was right𑁋that we could do something more about it𑁋but in the end, I just... made it worse. I felt like such an idiot, because… because there wasn’t anything we could do. She only has one chance with surgery, and she took it, despite her low chances of surviving.”

Chan listens to you, his eyes gentle and thoughtful, understanding but not pitying. It’s the same way he used to listen when you were venting back in high school, always patient, never rushing you to fix yourself or your emotions.

“You’re not an idiot,” he tells you, but his tone is nothing like a scold. “You care. That’s the difference. Not everyone would have fought that hard for her, even if you didn’t win. You’ve got a heart the size of the ocean, dude, you know?” 

You smile faintly, chest tightening a little to his words. “The mother-fucking ocean?”

Chan grins at your lightheartedness, nudging you with his elbow. “Yeah, the mother-fucking ocean. You’re stubborn as hell, but you’ve got that heart. And that’s what makes you good at what you do. It’s what makes you you.”

You look down almost in guilt from his words, watching as you unconsciously play with your fingers in your lap. You don’t know why, but it hits harder than usual tonight, and for the briefest moment, you feel the rush of everything you’ve been holding back𑁋the exhaustion, the frustration, the feeling that you’ve been carrying more than your fair share of weight these days. They almost threaten to burst out of you, but right now, they don’t. Not yet at least.

“You’re gonna be a good doctor, you know?” Chan continues. “I don’t even have to be a doctor to know that. You just… you get it. You’re going to go out there and do great things. Maybe even better things than me.”

You almost want to laugh at that, almost want to tell Chan just how much shit he’s done that is far greater than what you could ever dream of. You’re not sure if he realises it himself𑁋how great he is, how much you admire him, love him𑁋but you think you could spend more than a lifetime telling him just that if you could. 

You feel your heart do that familiar flip again, but this time, you let it pass. Maybe you’ve been avoiding these feelings for too long, but the truth is, they’ve been there for as long as you can remember. You can’t exactly pinpoint the moment these feelings shifted from friendship to something more𑁋maybe it was when he helped you get through the first few years of high school, or when he held your hand during a school dance, not in some romantic gesture but because you were scared of your anxiety acting up𑁋but it’s always been there. He’s always been there. 

“I… Thank you, Chan,” You say softly. Then you tilt your head back, looking at the same sky he is, feeling the heaviness in your chest ease just a little. “You’re kind of annoying, you know that? But you’re also... you’re really great yourself. Like, better-than-I-deserve great.”

Chan just chuckles at that. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, turning his head slightly to look at you. “That’s probably the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, and I’ve heard a lot of dumb shit from you.”

“Wow, okay. Forget all that I said then,” You retort back playfully, shaking your head and crossing your arms together. “You’re the worst person alive, actually.”

When you’re busy gazing up at the sky above, Chan turns to you. His eyes flit over you, taking in the way your eyelashes slowly bat together from tiredness, how your lips are slightly curled up in relaxation, how your features glow from the singular street lamp illuminating the skate park. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and glances away, his thoughts racing faster than he can keep up with.

“You meant it though, right?” he asks.

“What?” You question, turning towards him. 

“About me being great or whatever.” You can tell he’s trying to brush off the hesitation, but you sense the uncertainty in his voice. “You meant it?”

Out of all times, you wonder why he’s questioning it right now at almost midnight in the middle of the skate park. You’ve told him countless times how great he is, always hyping him up for skate competitions and giving him comfort on the times he’s down himself. Why… is he suddenly asking if you meant it?

“Well, I… Of course, I meant it,” You respond, catching his eye. “Why wouldn’t I?”

For a few moments, there’s just silence, comfortable, a pinch of awkward𑁋a word you can pretty much never associate with your interactions together𑁋yet heavy. The way Chan’s features soften on his face from your words seem more important than the stars blinking up in the sky right now. 

Then all it takes is a tiny giggle from him, and you can’t help but groan.

“Oh no,” You grumble pesteringly, shooting him an exasperated glance, but your tone is light, teasing. “I fueled your ego now, didn’t I?” 

“Yep. I can walk around like I’m the best thing since sliced bread,” Chan jokes, puffing out his chest with pride. “My greatness has been confirmed by a certified medical professional.”

“Whatever, big head,” You sneer back playfully. 

Chan stretches out a bit more on the bench, his legs extending and his arms behind his head. You can tell he’s getting more comfortable too, probably ready to call it a night, just like you, and you can’t help but let yourself soften a little.

Without thinking, you shift your body and lean your head down and gently rest it in Chan’s lap. His body stiffens for a moment as if he wasn’t expecting it, but he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he lets you settle, and after a beat, his hand comes to gently rest in your hair, and something tugs at your heartstrings from the feeling. Your eyes slowly flutter to a close.

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[angst-and-fajitas]

Emma's Pantheon fic list (literally everything I'm working on)

COMPLETE

• The Nightbus

Canon-Compliant one-shot which takes place within the ending of s2 ep 3, elaborating on Caspian's POV of their first kiss.

• it's about who you leave behind

One-shot, Canon-Compliant, angsty fic about Maddie and Dave and grief, taking place 16 years into the 20 year timeskip, between season 2 ep 6 and ep 7.

IN PROGRESS

• Iterations

XL one-shot, technically Canon Compliant? Told from the POV of Maddie within the Dyson sphere, as she observes three different simulations where things turn out different but not necessarily better: one where David Kim doesn't get cancer, one where MIST doesn't save them in the data center, and one where she backs up and reboots Caspian after his death. Tragedy-heavy. Estimated 12,000 words approx at completion, but I'm trying to slim it down.

• The Miracle of Backups

Longfic diving fully into that simulation AU in which Maddie makes a backup of Caspian before his fight without telling him, then reboots him after his death. Covers their relationship throughout the following 20 years, all the highs and lows of love and tragedy and the conflicts between their two worlds. My outlines currently estimate 45 chapters and roughly 150,000 word count at completion.

These two together are my magnum opus, I've been working on them since July! I have 35k down already. As soon as Iterations is ready to post, I'll start posting my finished chapters of tMoB alongside it.

• No Sleep Till London: collection of missing-scene Maddspian ficlets taking place between s2 ep 3 and 4, within those missing one to two weeks between DC and London. Pure mutual-pining fluff basically. Kinda a sequel to The Nightbus?

• shorter, angsty canon-compliant multichapter thing taking place during Caspian's season 1 homeless arc. Kinda a character study?

FUTURE IDEAS

• alt version of the first half of s2 ep8, in which Caspian DOES get to talk to Dave before everything goes to hell

I'll update this post as things evolve. I just wanted a reference space for my plans, because I've literally only talked to one friend about it

[bairdthereader]

Intentional Touch, Respected Space: A By-Episode Study, Part 3

This is the space where their loves grows in safety.

S1E3: Kiss

[Note: Approx. 4K words here, so grab a snack first!]

Nick has been dealing with and processing quite a lot of newly acknowledged feelings in the days leading up to the events of episode 3. (See @stopper-my-heart’s excellent post analyzing Nick’s internet research.) When Harry asks how’s it, Nick’s “fine” is followed up with a totally untrue “everything’s normal," as he tries to push back the confusion he's feeling. After Harry invites Nick to his party, Nick has some interactions where his internal turmoil starts to affect his responses to the people around him: Imogen's thinly disguised effort to wrangle Nick into a date and the locker room teasing about Imogen and Tara. These are some of the places where we clearly see Nick beginning to struggle with the divide that's appearing between his previous self and the deeply buried truths he’s starting to recognize, saying things he doesn't quite mean and sliding back into the persona he's always held up with his friend group.

So, it’s a ways into this episode before Nick and Charlie are able to have a real conversation, and Nick takes the opportunity to ask Charlie to Harry’s party. Nick’s previous conversations about the party resulted in impulsive, pressured, or protectively ambiguous responses ("Yeah, sounds good," to Harry; "Fine, I guess I can invite you" to Imogen; "Yeah, maybe," to the rugby lads re: Tara), but this is a determined, intentional Nick. [I won’t belabor the point here, but see my previous post about this scene and Nick’s intentions if you’d enjoy more detail.] Suffice it to say that the space between Nick and Charlie has gotten visibly a bit smaller and emotionally very much smaller. Nick keeps his arms crossed during this conversation, but loosely, and he’s leaning forward. There’s some self-soothing and protection here as Nick bravely pushes forward and asks Charlie to go to Harry’s party, but at the end of the exchange Nick is still leaning toward Charlie, looking at him in a similar way as he did on the couch while considering holding Charlie's hand, but with more happiness.

On the flip side, Charlie’s hesitancy in saying yes to the party is obviously due to the fact that Harry’s party definitely is not his kind of thing, but also, I think we can assume, due to the locker room conversation referenced above where Nick (from Charlie’s perspective) has just contradicted all the signals he sent Charlie during the hug at his house. Charlie can’t imagine enjoying a party where Nick has his “chance with Tara.” But then Nick says “I want you to be there” and Charlie takes a moment to really look at Nick’s face, which is, it must be said, pretty close to his own in this moment. Charlie’s expression runs the gamut in just a second (Joe, you genius). There is the briefest moment when he looks like he might decline again, then a moment when his gaze roves around Nick’s face, and then Charlie clearly changes his mind. Something he sees reassures him that Nick means what he says, and so Charlie says “okay.”

On the night of the party, we see that Nick has been spending time with the rugby lads and other people from his friend group, enjoying himself generally, but not fully present. Imogen makes a grabby appearance, demands a hug and a compliment on her dress. Nick turns away almost immediately, looking for Charlie, whom, he’s beginning to realize on some level, he’s more comfortable with than any of these people. Charlie, on the other hand, is essentially entering what must feel to him and his PTSD like a gladiator’s ring. He’s surrounded by either strangers, bullies, or people he knows only superficially, with chaotic sound and strobing lights. He needs a grounding force and comfort.

So when they see each other, cross the room and enter their shared space, there’s clear relief and gladness, a mutual clicking into place.

Nick, likely recalling the hug at Charlie’s house, approaches Charlie with arms raised, possibly wishing to repeat that gesture of honest affection. So perhaps the original intent was a hug, perhaps not, but either way Nick remembers the public setting and that Charlie has not been privy to the progression of Nick’s thoughts around touch between them and so wouldn’t understand the motivation behind the hug. He settles instead for a two-shoulder grasp, continuing to respect the space between them—both the physical space required by the public setting and Nick’s concern about Charlie’s potentially negative feelings toward touch in general, and the emotional space required by the fact that they are both still unsure of what any touch beyond the purely platonic might mean. And here that space is literally brightly illuminated.

Meanwhile Charlie, a veteran of hiding in plain sight, with reactions and instincts hammered into place by physical, social, and emotional abuse, keeps his hands down by his sides. He stops approaching Nick just a split second sooner than Nick stops approaching him. His primary thought here has to be protecting Nick (and himself, but mostly Nick) from the potential speculation of the people around them, followed by continued uncertainty about what Nick’s touch actually means (see: long hug followed by locker room talk), and finally trying to keep himself from falling even harder for a likely (in Charlie’s view) unavailable Nick. Despite all this internal conflict, Charlie is clearly ecstatic to see Nick and doesn’t try to shrug off this very deliberate and affectionate touch. Nick’s hands start out tight, then loosen just a bit before reluctantly sliding off Charlie’s arms. They spend a long moment just smiling blissfully at each other while the light continues to shine between them. It’s right there on their faces, but there’s still too much uncertainty for either of them to fully recognize it.

The camera pulls away to show us Nick and Charlie in the center of the melee, with a still and peaceful space between them and bright light illuminating them. They’ve created safety and calm for each other, no matter what is going on around them.

Next we find Nick and Charlie couching it up in a random hallway discussing, once again, Mario Kart. As on the couch at Charlie’s house, Charlie is squarely in the middle of his half of the couch, a few pillows on one side, while Nick is closer to Charlie’s side of the couch (after all, he's left enough room for Harry to sit down on his other side, unfortunately). His arm is crossed across his chest in a self-soothing and containing gesture, trying to be as close as possible while still maintaining that little bit of space. Charlie actually seems less nervous, leaned back into the couch and loosely holding on to his drink while his face is turned to Nick. He’s thoroughly enjoying Nick’s company and closeness without too much worry.

When Harry approaches, Nick’s face conveys irritation and reluctance, while Charlie immediately starts scanning the group for potential danger, face closed off but eyes alert. When Harry sits down, Nick’s arm lowers next to Charlie, possibly to offer subtle comfort while someone so antagonistic toward Charlie is so physically close to him, possibly to prepare to stand up and get away from Harry if he gets too obnoxious. Either way, Nick is eliminating that space and allowing touch to happen for a caring reason; respect is still there.

The next few scenes are filled to the brim with nonconsensual, uncomfortable, or disrespectful touch.

Nick is clearly annoyed by, if not outright uncomfortable with, Harry’s yoking him and dragging him bodily away from Charlie and toward Tara. Harry’s always been a grabby guy and Nick usually puts up with it good-naturedly, but this is too aggressive even for Nick. He could fight back, of course, and push Harry away, but not without causing a bit of a scene; he looks almost ill by the time he’s finally in front of Tara.

Ben and Charlie collide fairly forcefully in yet another weird, random hallway, this one ominously dark. Ben starts with a disingenuous apology while Charlie backs into a literal corner, clearly signaling that he does not want Ben anywhere near him, much less any kind of touch. He even starts to walk away. But this is Ben, so of course he does the thing he knows will bother Charlie most in that moment and grabs Charlie’s arm. Ben regularly ignores, disrespects, and obliterates the space Charlie puts around himself, but this time, Charlie pushes back, literally and figuratively. While his strength here does him credit and takes him another step toward freedom from Ben, the fact remains that Charlie just experienced a very unpleasant, disrespectful, nonconsensual touch.

Imogen, though less negatively intentioned than Harry and Ben, also subjects Nick to touch he clearly does not want. He’s visibly uncomfortable—not nervous, not shy—but unwilling and reluctant. He tries to disengage kindly ("I can’t dance"; "I need to find a friend.) because he doesn’t want to hurt Imogen’s feelings, but she doesn’t take the hint. Or, if she does, she responds by grabbing even tighter, resulting in this massively distressing moment for Nick. [You have to wonder if Nick feels like his own neck even belongs to him after this party.]

Then, thank goodness, Nick gets to witness consensual, joyful touch between Tara and Darcy. Tara’s nod before their kiss is clear in the shot; obviously they’ve both agreed to this moment, and that agreement is what lends freedom and joy to their public affection. Not only are they bravely declaring their feelings in this intensely crowded setting, but they’re doing it with mutual, reciprocated care and respect for their individual feelings.  

So we now have a Nick who has Been. Though. Some. Things. in a very short space of time finally finding his best friend, his person, and settling in—close—to a Charlie who has also Been. Through. Some. Things. and wants nothing more than to be with his best friend again too. The space between them at this point is negligible. Nick once again leaves a good bit of room on his side of the couch in favor of being close to Charlie, their knees are touching, they’re turned in to each other, and neither of them are pulling away or displaying the need for a buffer against judgmental gazes as they did earlier in the evening. They both want comfort, and they want it from the person who they know has a caring understanding of them.

It’s in this safe, mutually (if silently) agreed upon closeness (read: lack of space) that Charlie tells Nick the truth, or at least part of the truth, about how Nick’s friends make him feel; Nick is clearly upset by this, not on his friends’ behalf but on Charlie’s. Nick returns Charlie’s honesty and validates Charlie’s feeling when he admits, out loud for the first time, that he doesn’t like his friends very much and says that he’d rather be with Charlie. This is Nick telling Charlie “I choose you” in a concrete way, even if he doesn’t mean it in a fully romantic way just yet. There’s an expression of hope, almost of expectation, on his face after he says it, hope that Charlie will understand. Charlie, being Charlie, doesn’t seem to entirely believe the depth of meaning behind Nick’s words, and changes the subject to his confrontation with Ben.

If Nick was ever going to cross not only the intentional touch divide but also the platonic-to-more-than-platonic touch divide in a public place, this moment of worry and protectiveness over Charlie facing off with Ben would be it. Nick clearly considers taking Charlie’s hand while Charlie is explaining what happened, but he doesn’t, and refocuses on Charlie’s face and words. Then, when the story is done, there’s a second of hesitation on Nick’s part as he glances at Charlie’s hand a couple of times—he’s extremely aware, especially after the sparkly hand hovering on Charlie’s couch, that this touch means more to him now than just a show of solidarity—but the hesitation is quickly overcome, and Nick commits to his intention. He is genuinely proud of Charlie, vastly relieved that the Ben situation wasn’t worse, perhaps a bit guilty that he wasn’t there to intervene this time, and wants a grounding touch to reassure himself Charlie is okay. Holding Charlie’s hand now is just as much about being his friend—his real, closest friend—as it is about romantic feeling or physical chemistry.

Charlie’s intense gulp, on the other hand, shows us that he really wants this to mean more. He stares down at their hands like he’s having an out of body experience (and for him, after the treatment he received from Ben, this considered and caring touch probably does feel that way). Notably, he does not pull away at all. Charlie has always been intensely aware of how any physical contact between himself and Nick would be perceived, both by Nick himself and by the people around them. The fact that Nick initiated this contact, likely combined with the lingering memory of the doorway hug and Tori’s speculation that Nick is not straight, plus Charlie’s hope outweighing his self-preservation instincts, keeps Charlie happily in what I’ll call the zero-space zone. Nick suggests finding somewhere quieter to hang out, and Charlie, looking again like he can’t believe it, agrees.

Nick keeps hold of Charlie’s hand, pulling him off the couch. This is in direct contrast to the way Harry pulled Nick off the couch earlier; Nick was verbally protesting and physically pulling back a bit, yet Harry still forced the issue, but here, Nick asks and receives Charlie’s agreement before he does anything to move Charlie. Charlie’s surprise increases as Nick maintains the hand hold even when they exit the pseudo-private bubble of the couch and move into the crowd. The zero-space zone is out in the open now. But this is Nick on a mission, fully realizing that he doesn’t want to be part of the melee anymore, that being with Charlie is what he wants; he’s unwilling to let Charlie go, partly because he just doesn’t want to, and partly so they won't be separated again. Nick proposes a race—all the quicker to get away—and lots of flirty running ensues.

Nick sits to catch his breath and Charlie, after a slight hesitation—whether from not being sure, even after the last few minutes, that Nick actually wants Charlie near him, or just to center himself a bit—joins him, but leaves more space than they had had between them on the couch. He needs that bit of space to prepare himself, to feel clear and steadied, for the conversation ahead. Because being truly alone with Nick for the first time in what have been some very confusing days for Charlie makes him simultaneously brave (he has to ask about Tara and get the answer from Nick, rather than secondhand) and frightened (he doesn’t really want to have his worst fears confirmed). He knows he has to get the question out, because not knowing is causing him pain. Again, the physical space between them represents emotional space for Charlie to maneuver.

Nick’s hand is on the floor during this entire conversation, but Charlie keeps his on his knees, possibly to resist temptation, possibly to preemptively protect himself from what he thinks will be more hurt. When he asks about Tara, Nick bodily turns toward Charlie, rushing to emphatically to deny any kind of attraction to her, seeming surprised that Charlie would even ask. Charlie takes a minute to reorient his thoughts around this new, or at least clarified, information, while Nick takes a second to acknowledge why Charlie’s question bothered him so much—both of them navigating their feelings in that shared, respectful space.

Charlie’s next question—so you don’t have a crush on anyone at the moment?—is even more personal (and takes even more bravery for Charlie), but could still possibly be construed as just friendly interest in Nick’s romantic life. It’s a fine line, but Charlie is both asking Nick a forthright question and giving him a little room to get out of answering it in any meaningful way if he’s uncomfortable. But that’s not Nick’s way, so of course he does answer, even if his uncertainty and fear keep him from naming his crush. “Well… I didn’t say that,” and “You’re just going to assume they’re a she.”

Nick is being brave too—each answer he gives is as honest as he can manage in the moment, and followed by a look of intense fear combined with an almost desperate desire for Charlie to read between the lines so Nick doesn’t have to name the thing that is scaring him so much . . . but he’s still answering. Charlie is so strong in this sequence, confronting his own fears, taking care of his own emotional needs, processing each monumental revelation from his best friend, while simultaneously guiding Nick gently through speaking out loud for the first time many of the conflicting emotions that have been wreaking havoc with his life. The emotional intuition and sustained nerve required to do this is frankly astounding.

Charlie asks, “Would you go out with someone who wasn’t a girl?” and even now this could just barely, the tiniest bit, be considered a question asked out of curiosity rather than from a point of personal attraction (after all, just because Charlie’s gay doesn’t mean he’s automatically attracted to Nick). But when Nick offers up the first “maybe,” you see Charlie visibly react. There’s just the slightest pull back of his shoulders as his eyes rove quickly around Nick’s face, assessing both Nick’s statement and his feelings while saying it. Charlie thinks for a moment, then starts to narrow that nurtured space between them. He does it carefully, moving one foot closer to Nick’s and placing his hand on the floor next to, but not touching, Nick’s. This is Charlie acting on his wishes while still giving Nick the room he needs, the time he needs, to think about what comes next, without any pressure or obligation.

Charlie’s next question—“would you kiss someone who wasn’t a girl?”—takes their conversation firmly out of the realm of friendly speculation and into that of romantic interest. It’s clear now what he’s getting at. He watches Nick’s reaction very carefully, probably on some level for signs of disgust because Charlie’s brain is always working against him, but mostly he registers Nick’s fearful excitement. He’s checking in on Nick every single second of this conversation. What Charlie sees propels him to carefully but very intentionally close that space and instigate romantic touch for the first time, understanding that it’s safe for both him and Nick to do so. Still, he keeps the touch absolutely minimal, continuing to watch Nick’s facial expressions, with the utmost care for Nick’s fraught emotions and respect for his right to pull away.

He doesn’t.

And we have Charlie the lionheart, putting it all on the line with one, final question. “Would you kiss me?” The physical space between them has narrowed, their shoulders closer together and pinky fingers touching, and the emotional distance has narrowed as well. Despite the way they both feel like they’re standing on the edge of a cliff, they’re reaching a clearer understanding of each other than they’ve yet had. Nick knows now that Charlie definitely feels attracted to him, and Charlie can see that there’s a chance that at least some of his feelings are reciprocated. There’s no going back from this moment for them, for their friendship, and both boys know it. But they’ve built this space of trust between them, so here they can both be brave. Nick gathers the courage he needs to return Charlie’s touch and twine their fingers together.

Charlie once again looks steadfastly at Nick’s face as he gives an almost imperceptible nod then pushes through his nerves to get out his answering “yeah” (accompanied by a very brief, very Nick Nelson-style frown of determination). Charlie waits . . . and waits, still making sure Nick is okay, before finally leaning in. And even when he does, his eyes stay open, locked on Nick’s eyes, not his lips, still watching even in this charged moment for any sign of discomfort or unwillingness on Nick’s part. It’s only when Nick’s own eyes close that Charlie allows his gaze to relax too. He can be sure, for the moment, that this massively important, life-changing touch, this kiss, is something Nick wants and that it is occurring within their shared space of safety.

They pull back, reinstating some physical space and trying to regain a bit of equilibrium. Charlie sees the panic-adjacent expression on Nick’s face and fears that maybe this went too far, while at the same time still feeling shocked that it happened at all, a bit dazed and overwhelmed. Nick uses this space between them to check in with himself, to make sure that what he felt was true, that he understands himself in this moment, and to decide what he wants to do next. While they figure these things out individually, their hands are still connected, grounding and reassuring—either of them could pull away completely, but they don’t. When Nick looks back over at Charlie, a magical little bit of rainbow reflected on his face, his expression conveys some surprise, some lingering fear and confusion, but also hope. Hope that Charlie is still with him in their shared space, hope that their friendship is still intact, hope that Charlie feels as strongly about this new thing between them, whatever shape it takes, as he does. Charlie looks back at him with trepidation, worry that Nick is going to pull away or put up walls or push Charlie away, but there’s also tentative hope in him as well. He doesn’t act on it, though—he’s still respecting the fact that this is completely uncharted territory for Nick.

But then Nick makes a completely unprompted, voluntary choice and takes Charlie’s hand with obvious intention (and a comforting thumb swipe). Now there is absolutely no room for misunderstanding or dismissing the gesture as anything other than what it is; Nick is giving truth to Charlie’s hopes and easing some of his fears with this touch.

They have once again established that they are still in the same space, still honoring each other’s fears and hopes and respecting each other’s desires. So from that place of assurance, Charlie leans into Nick again. Again, Charlie keeps his eyes on Nick’s for the entire time he’s closing the distance between them (he barely moves until he sees Nick look down at his mouth), doesn’t raise his hand to Nick’s neck until Nick’s desire for touch is clear, and again he doesn’t let his own eyes close until Nick’s do. Charlie’s hand on Nick’s neck is firm, but not restrictive, grounding and affectionate, but not pressuring. Charlie’s extreme and nuanced care for Nick is the exact opposite of how he himself has been treated in the past; he is making absolutely sure that there is nothing he’s doing that might hurt Nick, even in this moment that is just as charged and monumental for him as it is for Nick.

This kiss is much less tentative for both of them, a much clearer expression of their feelings and desires, as Nick also firmly but carefully grips Charlie’s shoulder and pulls him a bit closer, and Charlie hangs on to Nick’s shirt with his other hand. As soon as the kiss ends, they’re studying each other (and of course thinking about more kissing). Nick’s hand on Charlie’s shoulder loosens a bit and Charlie’s hand moves away from Nick’s neck to his shirt collar, giving each other just the tiniest bit of breathing room, but they both still want closeness as they acknowledge what just happened. Charlie sees Nick repeatedly glance back down at his mouth, something that gives him enough confidence for a small smile as he asks Nick if he’s alright. We’ll probably never know what Nick would have said here��there’s a good chance Nick himself didn’t know—but there is just the barest hint of a returning smile hovering at the corner of his mouth.

Until Harry. Harry’s voice reminding them that they aren’t truly alone, reminding Nick of all the ramifications of his attraction to Charlie, reminding Charlie that this is far from settled between them.

And suddenly that space between them that was safe and solid and contained is a yawning chasm.

For now.

[simpxxstan]

Had this insane thought where reader and wonwoo are exes,both extremely rich people, n one day they get dragged to one of the mega rich orgies (which they never attended and never planned on attending because it wasnt their) by their friends to way to help them get back into the dating world and try meeting new people but they get separated from their friends and bump into each other and spend the next few hours having to forcefully e/o from being pulled away and flirted with byother people(while having to keep their composure) this goes on until one of them finally breaks andd they fuck the hell out of each other (dom!reader for like 5 minutes because being with ww was the only time they didn't top, they "forgot") i am so sorry if my English is bad and this makes no sense its 3 am and I like woke up in the middle of the night horny-

OH ANON this makes sense and your details were all perfect! and most importantly, thank you for sharing your thoughts w me

here's my contribution to your wonderful imagination-

warnings: NSFW (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT) mild description of orgy, possible multiple sex partners, jealousy and public-ish sex, tables being broken and sex on the floor(???)

wonwoo doesn't really mind being in the orgy and he decides to take advantage of the situation so he does get into a few scenes w some people

you, on the other hand, can't stand other people getting their hands over wonwoo

it's bad enough that you broke up with him because you wanted to focus on work (and you regret it but your pride is too big to beg him to come back)

and you're aware that wonwoo must be getting intimate w someone or the other, but SEEING IT HAPPEN? different story entirely

you hardly get emotional over something as physical as sex, treating it as nothing more than sex, so you convince yourself that seeing wonwoo in this position will not affect you

as expected, you're wrong

you're equal parts mad, irritated, upset and aroused

but you can't give wonwoo the pleasure of seeing how much you want to be in place of his current partner

so you get into a scene too yourself, not to get him jealous per se (because you don't think he will get jealous), but to just get your mind off him

you're wrong again.

for approx 5 minutes you enjoy domming your partner, relishing the control

but then wonwoo steps right in and takes over

because he gets incredibly jealous and cannot ignore it from the sidelines

and then he shows you, and your partner(s) during the scene who you really belong to

"you've tested me enough, doll" he says when he flips you over and lays you down on the nearest table

and god, you let him manhandle you

because a. you've missed it, and b. you love it

you may relish having control w others but there's nothing you love more than giving up control to wonwoo because you trust him to show you a divine time

so wonwoo does

he breaks the table with such a loud creak, that everybody at the party turns to look

but somehow you can't find yourself to care

you end up fucking on the floor, over the fragments of the table

"come back to me, baby" he asks you, while stuffing you full in the best way possible

your body is already marked by him completely but he can't get enough

"come back to me because i miss you, i want you, i need you, and i belong to you"

when you cry that night, it's not because of pain, but because he's giving it to you so good, you feel yourself becoming one with him

you'd be a fool to not go back to him now because he's reminded you thorougly that you two belong together

and the night ends with your confirmation to him, because you are his and he is yours

wonwoo decides everyone's had a good enough show, so he takes you home to finish that night

the orgy becomes a good memory for y'all later on in your relationship when you taunt him and he gets jealous again, but it's all a joke because you don't want anyone lay hands on wonwoo ever again and it's a mutual feeling

[nessiesgf]

tagged by @lisavetbathory thank you!! 🥹🫶

1. rewrite another try | louis/lestat, loustat & claudia, claudia/madeleine, rated E

my favorite and longest fic i've written so far! inspired by the movie 'ticket to paradise,' louis and lestat are divorced and hate each other, but they work together to stop claudia's wedding. had a blast writing the arguments (of which there are MANY!) lots of fun and lots of fluffy unholy family moments

2. back to you, love | louis/lestat, rated E

post-season 2, following louis and lestat as they navigate being together/being apart while interspersed with news articles detailing lestat's world tour. this was a fucking BEAST to write from the song lyrics to the concert outfits that i spent days scouring the runway websites for... PHEW!

3. i have mail, from you | louis/lestat, rated M

my second venture into the romcom AU universe, based on 'you've got mail!' louis is an independent bookstore owner and lestat owns the company trying to close his store. i took a huge departure from the movie with this one, so if you don't like a certain plot point, you might enjoy this! i also have to shout out cherhorowitz8's YGM fic. cher is THE romcom icon and their fics are basically the only reason i started writing. romcom aus will save us all, truly.

4. you should stay all my life | louis/lestat, rated E

my first IWTV fic! idk where i'd be without it! it's based on 'notting hill,' where louis is a bookstore owner (my fave job for him apparently) and lestat is a famous movie star. very love at first sight for both parties and full tooth-rotting fluff.

5. untitled WIP | louis/lestat, rated E (probably)

okay, i only have 4 fics on my ao3, but i'm loving the fic i'm writing rn and i had to say something about it! it's much darker than my other ones with a lot of discussion of drug use and suicidal thoughts, so a fair warning now! a basic synopsis is that lestat is a globally acclaimed rockstar and louis is his #1 hater. it's loosely based on a DCOM (very loosely) and i'm on ch. 4 out of approx. 10-12. its taking everything in me to not publish it now because i'm sooooo excited about it!

i would tag people but i'm still very new to the whole sharing my fics on tumblr so i don't have many fic writer mutuals. if you see this and want to share yours, please do!! 🫶🫶

[unspuncreature]

3 weeks post-op today :o)

nipple scabs and surgical glue are almost gone. most of the glue that stubbornly remains is under my arms. most of my nipple sutures have fallen out or partially come out enough to trim them back which is suuuuuch a relief. with my nerves healing and the nerve grafts taking but nowhere near fully healed yet, it feels so bizarre for the stitches to slide out of my skin lol

had my post op yesterday and was told again that i’m healing beautifully which was reassuring. my surgeon exuberantly gripped my hands and congratulated me and offered me a hug. i could’ve cried. she’s such a wonderful human being and surgeon. i would recommend her and my plastic surgeon to anyone seeking DI w/ FNG and nerve grafts.

although i got them removed approx a week and a half ago, my drain sites are still extremely sore. it limits my movements almost as much as anything to do with my incisions or muscles, but i will continue to work at it with the mobility exercises my care team recommended.

still a little tender and swollen under my arms and towards my sternum which is more uncomfortable than anything. still dealing with bloating, but if i had to guess, it’s likely just my normal endo belly bloat lol

now that i can lift my arms a smidge, i’ve been wearing some sweaters i always liked but could never love before top op. i feel like i have a new lease on life :o) it also helps that i can feel some of my energy and momentum and general executive function beginning to return.

this past saturday, my friends and local drag community hosted a fundraiser show in my honor to help with the unexpected costs/lost wages from all these surgeries i’m having.

we were able to raise enough to cover an entire month’s rent in just one short evening. to say i’m grateful is an understatement. my heart is fit to burst. the weight off my shoulders to not worry about a month of rent while i undergo the next two surgeries is life-changing. never underestimate the power of queer community and mutual aid.

pics below the cut. aside from the usual content warning, there’s also a pre-op pic of my chest. today we get a little intimate here chez unspuncreature

[animeniacss]

Seventeen Ship Fics Masterlist

Here will be any ship-based fanfiction I write. If this is your cup of tea, I hope you enjoy what I have to offer!

If not, please feel free to check out my SVT Reader Fics here and here

Key: ✔️- Completed ✏️- Work in Progress 1️⃣-One Shot 📗-Multi Chapter 💕-Romance 💢-Depictions of Violence 💍- Established Relationship 🍭- Fluff 💔 - Angst

GyuHao - I Have Another One - ✔️💕🍭1️⃣

Synopsis: Minghao is stuck listening to the random pick-up lines of bored Mingyu as the last one in the cafe. However, despite his best efforts, he can't help but find them adorable.

Genre: Coffee!Shop AU, Barista!Gyu, Tsundere!Hao, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Flirting, Implied Relationship

Length: approx. 3.3k words

Read Here

Seoksoo/Kyeomshua - (im)perfect - Part 1 ✔️💕📗🍭💔

Synopsis: Lee Seokmin likes a lot of things: karaoke, stuffed animals, his friends, his family (when they're not at each other's throats), and when things go according to plan. It's perfect that way. That is...until Joshua Hong, the Education Department TA, stumbles into his view one day and suddenly Seokmin has to start facing the fact that maybe not everything in life will be perfect...but with Joshua, that might just be ok.

Tags: College!AU, ActingMajor!Seokmin, Teacher!Joshua, Romance, Angst, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Side GyuCheol, Side JunHao, Side Verkwan, Other Idol appearances, Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Domestic Violence (not between the main couple), Joshua is a dork 90% of the time, (More Tags will be Added as needed)

Length: approx. 130k

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20; Bonus

Seoksoo/Kyeomshua - An (im)perfect Christmas Special - ✔️💕📗🍭💔💍

Summary: Joshua is now invited to the Lee Christmas weekend, and while Seokmin is happy to spend the holiday with his new boyfriend, that also means his new boyfriend will have to spend the holiday with his family.

Tags: College!AU, ActingMajor!Seokmin, Teacher!Joshua, Romance, Angst, Fluff, Mutual Pining, , Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Joshua is a dork 90% of the time, Established Relationship, Christmas Special, Dysfunctional Family Drama

Length: approx. 16k words

Chapter 1; Chapter 2

[ingyd-a-r]

my collection of things ive borrowed (mostly walgreens + dollar tree) ^_^ this is about a weeks effort and i can expect it to grow soon <3 any tips ? ive found wearing a big jacket and going with a mutually klepto friend works wonders lmao. this wouldve been so much bigger but ive been doing a lot of this alone

total - $33 approx.

[hms-tardimpala]

So I rewatched Jurassic Park 3 for the first time since I was a kid, and here's a bullet list of stuff I liked (because I love this movie):

divorced couple with divorced couple tropes yayyyy

Téa Leoni is so beautiful omg no wonder I ended up a bisexual

"How did you meet the Kirbys?" "...Through our church" says the mercenary who looks like a mercenary and absolutely nothing else

Alan Grant/Billy Brennan. Look, if you want to see a father-son dynamic there, have fun. I'm seeing that and a student-teacher mutual attraction that simultaneously has married couple vibes, with 2000s flavor to boot. Old bitter academic/cocky twink with a hero worship, what's not to love?

a clever, competent child in a movie. The JP trilogy has always had cool kids (the worse being Malcolm's daughter, but she was still good enough and whatever flaws she has, I attribute to having Ian Malcolm as a father), and Eric is my absolute favorite. That child is gonna need a lifetime of therapy but he rocks!

"I have never been on this island." "Sure you have, you wrote that book." "That was Isla Nublar. This is Isla Sorna." Alan Grant is in this mess because of a guy's poor reading comprehension and ignorance of geography, that's so funny

"You mean there's two islands with dinosaurs?" DO YOU NOT WATCH THE NEWS OR RESEARCH BEFORE YOU GO DO A RESCUE SOMEWHERE

Spinosaurus, my favorite dino as a kid!

the phone ringtone is my ringtone, so I jumped every time

this movie is so funny guys

the freaky shit: corpse stripped of meat behind the paraglider, dino embryos in vats in the lab, misty aviary

the Ingen aesthetic. All the metal and rectangles, and flat stuff. The buildings, the doors, the locks.

Billy's sad face because senpai is mad at him :(

great french dub (but that was the standard at the time, quality took a nosedive approx. 15 years ago)

the way Eric looks at Alan lovingly cleaning the hat Billy rescued, after discovering that Billy lived. That kid knows what's up, his smile says "your boyfriend survived, good on you, you old gay"

[lizard-reads-the-world]

Disabled Artist needs housing help

Hey. I'm an enby person with several chronic illnesses. I work from home to support 3 people on my own. I usually (note: usually) barely make it to rent, but this month everything has seemed to come down at once and I'm going to be approx. $900 short. [Edit: As of 10/25 I will be $655 short] I can probably make up a 1-2 hundred of that in a few days, but it's not going to be enough.

This is especially terrifying because moving is highly traumatic to my partner. We've been evicted twice in the past 3 years (once for financial reasons, and the last was a shitty discriminatory management company) - and I don't think we'd make it through another, and I'm not even being hyperbolic. And paying late AT ALL means shitty companies won't renew our lease. I am seriously terrified. Not being able to have these few hundred will be literally life-destroying. I already live every day expecting a flare-up to put me in the hospital again, because that's what stress does to me, every time.

Can anyone help us out with mutual aid? Earlier today I donated $5 to an artist who has helped me, with the hope it can come back around. Anything is helpful. I'd even do a peer-to-peer loan if that's a thing.

Payment links:

Paypal | Venmo : Piichann | Shop: one two | Ko-fi

!! Please signal boost !!

I am just so tired of us all being forced to destroy our bodies, destroy our lives, just to live. And still not be able to pay for basic housing and food. I really want people to unite around mutual aid. Support each other. (And anyone is more than welcome to add their needs to this post) People shouldn't need to wade through paperwork and Telegram scammers to get help.

Society just doesn't need to be like this, and we should be able to change it. I think if everyone tried to, we really could. Unite together. I don't exactly know how we get there, but we should all be sick of this. I know I am. And I will, and do, give back when I can.

❤️❤️ Free Kitty Pic ❤️❤️

To the below people, not all of you follow me, but I enjoy seeing your posts every day! Thanks for keeping me a little bit sane.

@the-bookler @kyliereads @yourneighborhoodbibliophile @therefugeofbooks @thereadingchallengechallenge @just0nemorepage @disabled-dragoon @dragonbadgerbooks @lizziethereader @asexualbookbird @godzilla-reads @richincolor @good-books-to-read

Maybe these nice people could help signal boost too:

@helppeople @donations-mutualaid @goodpeopledeeds @anarchblr @boost-the-signal @lgbtdonate @mutualaidforalll @nonbinary-support

[luxurychristmaspudding]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for tagging me my loves @schnarfer @marisferasiop !!!!! <33333

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

one haha so i'll do this based off tumblr!

11 i think? depends if you want a series breakdown, cos then it's 15

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

109.4k approx (tumblr)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

PPCU babyyyyy

4. top five fics by kudos (notes)

Pickup Truck (Frankie OS)

2. Listen (outrageous stuff)

3. Need To Know (Joel OS)

4. Mutual (Lucien Flores OS)

5. Arizona (On Call/Frankie Series)

5. do you respond to comments?

I really try to, but am aware I'm shite at it. I'm riddled with ADHD so often find it v overwhelming to be here lol. But if you've ever commented or reblogged, know I love you very much and have a forehead kiss waiting for you.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, Clot for sure. I cried a bunch writing that. But parts of On Call hit the spot, too.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Pickup Truck! But On Call will have an even happier ending 🤠

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not yet lol, though I did once get a comment from an infamous hate blog who couldn't understand why Frankie and reader hadn't just fucked yet.

9. do you write smut?

I've dabbled.

10. craziest crossover:

Listen/Watch lol

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I think it's neat when it happens.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't, but I'm open to it!

14. all time favorite ship?

Me x any Pedro boy lmao. Nah, probs Frankie x Santi. They're cute.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a reeaaaally detailed idea for an ofc x Joel based in Jackson. Two fucked up people being fucked up and interesting together. It's very complicated and sad, so I don't know if I have the emotional beans to write it, or if people would enjoy it.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I really enjoy writing humour, but I'm not sure if I'm actually funny. I've been told my smut is alright.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing one idea before starting a new one. Continuity, things making sense, not editing at 3am. The list is endless.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Awesome! But consult the experts.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

I have extremely vague memories of writing something for the 5sos fandom years ago. I don't actually remember if it was posted or not. PPCU is the first one where I can confidently say I've written and posted.

20. favorite fic you've written?

This is hard! Pickup Truck was my second fic, and holds a special place in my heart. I also loved writing Tommy's Party and adore my On Call babies. But I think my most favourite fic will be the next series I start 👀

np tags for anyone who hasn't done this yet! (sorry if you have!)

@ezrasbirdie @lotusbxtch @pascalssbabyy @covetyou @secretelephanttattoo

@pedgito @amanitacowboy @chronically-ghosted @getitoutofmymindwrites @strang3lov3

[nerdieforpedro]

Weddings 101 with Dieter

Chapter Three: Meeting the Family

Dieter Bravo x plus size OFC (Maya)

Fanfiction 18+

Masterlist / Dieter Bravo Masterlist / Weddings 101 with Dieter Series/ AO3 Link

Word Count: approx 5.2k

Summary: Maya is awoken to Dieter having a vivd dream that benefits both of them. They go off to the separate events, Maya to the start of wedding stuff and Dieter to his golf press appearance. Maya is not enjoying herself at all and Dieter continues his beef with Oscar Issac. Daisy comes through for the win.

Warnings: self-doubt, sexy clouds, Dieter is a grabby menace, grinding, biting, sucking, vivid dreams, mutual masturbation, more bad nicknames, more Oscar Issac slander, body worship, one rouge mushroom, Dieter's MOUTH

Notes: Dieter has been chillin’ in my brain for the last few weeks. After posting chapter two, I started writing chapter 3 and here is where we are. I’m going for a rom-com vibe because Pedro hasn’t been in any and that saddens me greatly. He’d be so good in one! 😫 I’m aware that Pedro and Oscar are best buddies in real-life, I just wanted to add to the comedy for Dieter having a beef another actor and since he got mad about Star Wars last time, it was perfect.

Groggy, Maya opened her eyes, things were blurry and she couldn’t make anything out. She felt warm, maybe even a little hot. Not sure why, it was comfortable so she dozed back to sleep. An hour later, she awoke again, feeling like she had a new lease on life. She didn’t remember any of her dreams, never did, but felt a sense of unexplained joy. When she moved, things became more apparent.

She’s chest to chest with Dieter, laying on top of him. One leg is draped over his hips and her hand is cradling the back of his head. Her face on his chest and hears his heartbeat, surprisingly slow to her. He’s really sleeping comfortably with her weight on him like this. More shocking than that is she didn’t feel like moving. His body was sturdy, not something she imagined when thinking of Dieter. Lips parted slightly as his chest rises and falls, just listening to him soothes her nerves. Maybe this isn’t so bad. I mean I didn’t mean to be in his bed the first night here, but like this isn’t horrible. I wonder if he’d be startled if he woke up right now, wait…what time is it?

Maya recalled what Bravo’s assistant had mentioned yesterday, that he had somewhere to be at noon. Some press thing maybe, but whatever it was, she needed to know the time now. She didn’t hear anyone else in the villa that she could tell so maybe it wasn’t quite time yet. No alarm was going off so it should at least be before eleven. Now the next question, how should she wake him up? Just push his head, pinch him, move her leg, poke him… something may already be poking. No that’s just morning wood, it doesn’t mean what you think it means. Maya took her hand off Dieter’s head and pushed her torso up off of his chest, hearing him groan as she rolled on her back, swinging her leg quickly and brushing his erection.

A soft “Fuck baby,” was heard at the loss of the softness. Dieter was dreaming he was inside a cloud, laying on a bean bag with Kit Kat on top of him. She just was making fun of how goofy his face was with his wide cheerful smile, Just enjoying the sound of her voice as she talked and the pressure from her body, but then she floated away, saying she had to go. He reached for her and was able to wrap his arms around her, pressing his face between her cushiony bosoms instead of her stomach this time. “Shit you can’t get away. This is the best feeling, You can’t go Maya, you’re my Kit Kat dammit.” He heard loud drums suddenly, they scared him so he pressed his face deeper, turning his head side to side, the friction from his beard making his face warm. His lips found what he thought was her breastbone as he kept pressing his nose deeper, tipping his chin up, he extended his tongue and licked, tasting a mix of skin, sweat. He mumbled something into her chest and started to alternate between sucking and nibbling. The tempo of the drums changed from sounding like timpani (large orchestra drum) to snare drums that were uneven. They complemented the low sighs he heard, encouraging him to only suck harder and branch out toward her breasts. Once he did, the sighs transformed into moans, the back of his head had a familiar pressure on it from four to five different small points and his back was being raked by something sharp. It didn’t matter, all of it was euphoric, Dieter had never had a dream like this.

“Sweet Lips…sta- shit that feels good…” Her moans continued, she wrapped her arms around his head, to keep his head at her breasts. Maya’s thighs pressed together, she expected to be able to get out the bed but now she was participating in whatever dream Dieter seemed to be having. A dream about her. She was pleasantly surprised, but worried, she still didn’t know what time it was and didn’t want the assistant or anyone else walking in and seeing them like this. Bravo had pulled up her shirt and bra to access her breasts, it was why she thought he was awake, but despite her increasing moans and calling his name, he didn’t respond, just kept sucking and teasing her. She knew whenever she did get up, she’d need to wash her panties and shorts as they were soaked. His hardness kept grazing her knee and thigh, moist with what was likely his own precum. “Fuck, it’s just there…Dieter it’s not fair…Mmm…” He grazed her nipple with his teeth and she yelped, digging her fingers into his scalp before grabbing the base of his neck. Using her thighs, she was able to provide some friction to his cock as he kneaded and suckled on her breasts.

While Dieter was trapped within the warmth of his Kit Kat cloud, he felt the pressure of a firm water mattress around his cock. The fabric of his pants were a hindrance in identifying the true nature of the presence he felt providing his throbbing member some relief. His hips started to jerk as he grew closer to his release, moving faster the more he heard cursing along with his name. He managed to work both nipples into his mouth as he climaxed into his pants and onto the warm water bed. Taking his head from the breasts he was so fond off, his world view began to change

He was on a mattress, but there were no water or clouds, instead there were pillows, sheets and Maya. Her shirt was raised along with her bra and her breasts were slightly swollen and in his hands as he still massaged them gently. His face cooled from the departure as he looked up at a wondrous sight, Maya panting looking down at him, her eyes fluttering trying to focus but unable to. Her hand was on his neck. He looked down and his pants were wet with not only his spend, but some of hers that had leaked from her shorts. Dieter was conflicted, he was coming down from an excellent sex dream induced high that he had acted out with the person he had been dreaming about. The question was, is she okay with what he did? He wasn’t sure if the effects of Molly had worn off yet and she was perhaps more sensitive and hadn’t been alright at all with him touching her. “Maya, are you alright? I was having an intense dream and it looks like I-”

“Dee, you’re not fair at all. How the hell are you going to be so good at that while asleep?! It’s not right, I’ve never been happier about having sore breasts.” Maya sighed and cupped his cheek. She giggled and he exhaled, that’s one elephant out of the room, the second would be equally as worrisome. “I felt more sensitive. Is that because of the juice I drank last night? What was in there?” Dieter closed his eyes and placed a hand on her hip, pulling her shirt down. Her breasts were distracting and this needed to be said with the proper attention, though he was surprised that she remembered feeling off and drinking the juice, did she remember what she told him last night?

“Well that juice was supposed to be for my two day golf press tour. I show up, take pictures and do some autographs. It’s boring but pays well. I drink my juice spiked with some Molly to put me in a better mood for it.” He explained, his fingers tapping to the drums he had heard in his dream. 

“Ah that explains it. I felt real giggly and very bendy? Flexible? No.” She paused, trying to find the right word to describe it. She had sensed something was off, but didn’t mind it. She recalled drinking a lot of water as well too. “Open! That’s the right word! Open to any and everything. It’s a fun feeling like someone took out all my worries, but scary now that I think about it. Anyway I should have asked what was in your fridge given you told me that it was the most fun you’d had just by drinking.” Her laugh told Dieter that maybe things were alright for now, he didn’t need to ask about what she mentioned in the kitchen. Her soft lips kissed his head as she rolled away from him, popping up out of the bed. Scanning the room, Maya didn’t see a clock at the bedside or on the wall. She also didn’t see her phone either. It turned out she was in her room instead of Dieter’s so it should be in here. Maybe she left it downstairs after setting the alarm. 

Dieter got up on all fours and crawled to the edge of the bed, “Looking for something?” He wiggles his butt as Maya turns and she giggled, using a finger to poke his forehead. 

“I’m looking for my phone, a clock or any indication of time. You have to be showered and dressed by noon and I should be getting to the introductory brunch with everyone.” Her hand went to his curls, using her nails to run along his scalp and she was sure he purred. Dieter lowered his head to allow her to continue, a low hum mixed in with the purrs. “Enjoy that my fluffy boy? I can massage it more later tonight.” She paused, “Oh! Sugar Li-“

“Fluffy boy or Dieter is perfect Maya.” He ran his palm along the forearm of her hand that was atop his head, he looked up and smirked, “That’s a promise Kit Kat. I’ll hold you to it. Ask me if I enjoy it again. Say my name this time.” He moved closer to the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms around her hips, his cheek on her stomach, listening as it churned with hunger. He gave it a swift peck and nuzzled into her belly further.

This time, she used both hands to graze the top of his head, feeling his soft curls and spotting flashes of gray within the chocolate brown. She looked down, resisting the urge to pull him up and take his lips, he appeared content to hold her. Maya took a quiet rasp, closing her eyes as she explored his crown, “Do you enjoy my fingers grazing your scalp Dieter?”

“Abso-fuckin’…Yes. Yes.” Bravo panted, his hand trailed from her lower back to her round ass, filling his hand and started to knead it as he had her breasts. “Maya, what time do you absolutely need to be at that family brunch thing?” His face emerged out of her belly and peered up at her, his eyes pleading. If she came with him, he might not need the orange juice for the press interactions, though he may inspire other questions that had nothing to do with his projects. She cupped his face and opened her eyes, Maya felt she could be too easily swayed by his eyes so she focused on his lips and how pink they were. Also a bad move. 

“Need to be there by one. You can stop by after your press thing. After brunch, there’s going to just going to be some family gathering stuff and then I plan to make it an early dinner so I can bail. Though I’ll need to bring the bridesmaid dress because my mother and the bride’s mother will want to see all of us in them.” A long sigh followed. He could tell she wasn't looking forward to this at all, was it the dress itself, the people, the comparison with the other bridesmaids, both mothers? He’ll see how long he’d need to be at the golf event and as soon as he can, he’s getting out of there to come get Maya out of there. “You need to get ready though, then I can get ready.” An empty chuckle left her lips as she released his head and Dieter followed suit and let her go. He rolled to his side of the bed and retrieved his phone. It was only half after ten. He let her know and went downstairs to heat up the pizza and eat it, Maya found her phone on the kitchen island, it was at five percent so she plugged it in when she went up to her room briefly. 

Sitting and eating pizza together, they laughed and Dieter pouted when she brought up Oscar Issac again. He threw a mushroom at her, hitting her arm. She picked it off and ate it as they played around and ate. Finally when they finished, they went to their respective rooms and showered. Dieter put on a button down short sleeve shirt that was split down the middle - one half had zebra print and the other half had cheetah print on it. Daisy, who had been MIA the entire night nipped at Dieter’s ankles before he slipped on his gray boxer briefs, the elastic settling just under his round pouch of a belly and sitting on his hips. He picked up the goat and kissed her forehead. “You traitor. You left me last night. Still love you though.” The small goat baahed at him and licked his chin, its rough tongue made him laugh. He needed to pick out pants though, he didn’t really care so he pulled out a black pair when he heard a soft knock at his door. “Come in, you don’t need to knock Kit Kat. It’s only us two here and Daisy.”

Retrieving his black slacks, he set Daisy on the bed and the pants as well before sitting on the bed and putting on some white socks and his pants. He had the pants around his knees when he turned to see Maya who stood in the doorway looking away shyly. A grin crossed his face and her spun around and pulled the back of his shirt up, wiggling his ass at her. He heard her laugh, “Better than Oscar’s right?” She shook her head and he pulled up his pants and buttoned them, bitting his lips in frustration.

“Objectively I can’t lie to you Sugar Lips.” Maya chuckled, walking to sit on the bed and pet Daisy. She wore a dress that had a deep V in front, the base was white and it had lines of gold, green, brown ovals and various splashes of orange. It was nearly to the floor so only her feet poked out when she walked. Her hair was pinned up in a neat bun and she wore gold earrings. It was the fuchsia color on her lips that drew the most attention, it made her lips appear fuller then they already were. “But you’ve got other things Oscar doesn’t so don’t fret so much and I’ll try not to tease you about it.”

Dieter plopped down next to her as Daisy hopped to the floor, sauntering around. “What other things huh? And with that lipstick, I should call you Sugar Lips.” He laid his hand over hers and he remembered, “I don’t have your number Maya. I can’t send you pictures of Daisy or eggplant emojis.” 

“You’re impossible. It can’t just be texts and memes? Eggplants, really?” 

“Yeah and maybe some of the things that might be better than that man. Stupid bubble butt.” He stood to retrieve his phone and sat back down, unlocked it and handed it to Maya. “Put your number in and save yourself as…” He thought for a moment. 

“Mi Reina (My queen).” 

“Oh? What does that mean?” She did as he asked and entered her number and saved it.

Bravo laid his head on her shoulder and spoke into her ear, “I’ll tell you tonight while you’re rubbing my head again and I’m in your lap.” He licked her earlobe and scooped up Daisy who had returned, making his way to the door. One hand sent her a text to ensure she has his number too. “Let me know what you save me as Kit Kat. We should head downstairs. It’s eleven thirty.” The grin never left his face and he felt confident he had enticed her enough. Maya stopped on the way down to grab her phone, purse, brown sandals and a garment bag before meeting Dieter downstairs on the living room couch. Draping the bag over the back of the couch she sat next to Dieter and cut her eyes at him.

“Despite you being impossible at times,” Her hand touched her cool earlobe that previously had his tongue on it, “it’s also one of the charms you possess, Dieter.”

“I have charms now? Not just impossible?”

“You know you do. That mouth of yours is- ” Dieter places one hand at the side of her thighs and parted his lips after licking them. 

“My mouth is what, Maya?” He taunts, he leans like he’s going to kiss her but stops. “I can’t mess up your lipstick of course. Tell me what it does for you bebita (baby girl).” Lips graze her neck and his hands move up to her thighs, his tongue trails down to just above her breasts. Warm breath against her skin, her hands snaked to hold his soft sides. “Let me hear what I heard this morning. I’ll be thinking about it while answering those asinine questions. Por favor (please).” His chin touched her breast and he groaned, hearing Maya trying to stifle her moans only had him press his fingers into her thighs more. Dieter used his teeth to nibble gently on her breast which made her finally give him what he wanted, a deep bellow of pleasure. 

“Your mouth is dangerous, shit Dieter. Please, it’s almost time-” One hand was moving up to his head but she stopped herself and just held the back of his neck. She couldn’t pull him away, her back was curving into his face.

“Just a little longer cariño (dear).” His teeth started on her other breasts softly nibbling before a ‘swip’ was heard. Dieter stopped and peered over the back of the couch. Daisy had tugged on Maya’s garment bag and pulled it to the floor. “Daisy, you really are a traitor.” he reluctantly stood up and picked up the garment bag, draping it back over the couch as Maya straightened her dress back out.

“Daisy’s helping both of us out. That should be saved for when we’re alone.” Zack and two drivers were making their way in the villa. Dieter hadn’t heard them come in at all. The click of his tongue told the assistant that he likely had interrupted something but there was a schedule to keep. 

“Um, sir. Sorry to interrupt, but we should leave. Good morning Ms. Maya.” He smiled brightly. Dieter sighed and gave Kit Kat a peck on the cheek, she took his hand and whispered to him,

“I think I’m going to move up the time table on fucking you Sugar Lips.” Bravo’s eyes widened, she remembered saying that? Maya’s other hand gave his ass a solid squeeze. “For the record, I like your ass better than Oscar’s.” With that, she walked out with one of the drivers who carried her purse and garment bag as she hopped in the car and departed. Zack gave his boss a few minutes, thankfully he had built in time just in case the award winner wasn’t ready, but he ended up clearing his throat to bring Dieter back to reality. He made sure to grab his orange juice on the way out. The star followed his assistant and sat in the back of the car with Daisy, uncomfortably hard and looking out the window thinking of a way to bail on this event and drop by that brunch.

Maya wasn’t fairing much better, shifting around in the back of the car as the villa disappeared behind her. Her hands ran along the garment bag and then her thighs where Dieter’s hands had been. “Smooth bastard. I’ll need to see if they have a CVS or Walgreens here for some condoms. I can’t get it out of my head from this morning. I won’t tease him as much when I get back.” A soft smile graced her lips as she watched the trees slowly change into buildings, getting closer to the hotel. The Hilton was a nice hotel yes, but she was only looking forward to seeing her mother, father and brothers. Both sides of the now joining family proved to be insufferable at the engagement and bridal shower. It’s why she skipped the bachelorette party, a fact that the bride’s mother never failed to mention. 

Arriving at the hotel in a black audi did give her an air of satisfaction as some of the family members watched her walk in, her white dress with its pattern flowing behind her in the warm sun. Maya made her way to the main room where she knew brunch was in progress and spotted her mother, making a bee line for the short woman in her four inch heels, gray dress and gold bangles and rings. She wore them due to the residual effects of her rheumatoid arthritis but moved like a woman thirty years her junior.

“Hey Sweetie! You made it! I love the lipstick. I wasn’t sure about the dress but it suits you. You look like you’re floating.” They embraced and shared a hug, rocking side to side before they parted, holding each other’s hands. 

“Hey ma, you look beautiful. There still some food around?” Maya asked and her mother shook her head. ‘This child’ she likely thought, but she did notice a small red mark at the top one of her breasts.

“I think someone may have eaten you. You have any concealer Maya? If not, I can grab you some before they come over.” She dropped her hands and walked over to a chair where her purse was a few feet away. Removing a sponge and some liquid makeup, swished her hand to indicate for her to hold her dress to the side slightly to apply the makeup. She did and blended it out with the sponge, once happy with her work, then had Maya adjust her dress again. “Is whoever this is here or coming to the wedding?”

A long sigh left Kit Kat’s lips, “Maybe, I don’t know about today, but probably later this week. He’s…different. But it’s good I think.” Maya’s mother watches as a smile crept along her face, whoever it was, this man was someone who made her happy, which was very good.

“Well, go get some food and eat. The family’s going to bop around a bit more and then they want to do the final fitting for the bridesmaid dresses. Why it couldn’t be done weeks ago is beyond me? She maybe shouldn’t have changed colors so many times.” Her mother began to gripe but stopped when she saw the look in her daughter’s face. It wasn’t the time, the complaining could happen after things were said and done. She went to track down her husband who was taking advantage of the free wine samples offered until two in the afternoon. It was one forty five so he was entitled to a full fifteen minutes of wine drinking and would not accept anything less. 

Maya went to eat some sausage, eggs, and pancakes, grabbing two of each as she had eaten pizza already this morning. It was then that the bride appeared, greeting her warmly. She wasn’t a mean or annoying woman. Well, a little annoying, but only because she didn’t listen to any of the suggestions. Which yes, it’s her wedding, Maya understood that, but she wasn’t the only larger bridesmaid and the three of them with Maya included, weren’t into the strapless design or the dress being made in lace with a slip under it. You’re in Hawaii, in a humid ass place and needed to wear shapewear in addition to a tight dress was….now you sound like your mother.

The two women hugged and briefly chatted about the trip over here. The bride said hers was smooth and really enjoyed spending time with Michael, Maya’s brother. Nodding, Maya stated that her journey here had a few hiccups but turned out to be great, knowing that she wouldn't ask any further. Maya slowly ate her food, knowing that the fitting was imminent and followed Elyssa, the bride, up to one of the eighth floor rooms where all the other bridesmaids were waiting. None of them looked excited or even tried to keep a neutral face. What had happened?

“We’re going with another new color and style ladies!” Elyssa said excitedly, everyone groaned simultaneously. This fitting just became infinitely worse.

Dieter was trying to hold off on drinking his juice. He wanted to save it for either a really tiresome interview or if he had to talk to anyone about whoever the hell was playing golf. He didn’t care, he was here because they wanted to use his appearance to promote the tournament and he could talk about some of the projects he was producing. He hadn’t found any roles recently that he wanted to be a part of since the Cliff Beasts fiasco and into writing, painting and producing. He was talking with one interviewer who was asking about some of his artwork, someone who actually bothered to do some research. It was a fun conversation, until that douche popped up. Was he even supposed to be here?

Oscar Issac - who beat him out for the Star Wars role he wanted and could frustratingly play guitar and sing. This bastard who won some nonsense poll about who had better curls between Bravo and Issac and was sporting a full well-groomed beard with splashes of gray in it. And now some other interview has mentioned his ‘cakes’ from the last movie Oscar did where he spends a fair amount with no pants on. Dieter may be in a one-sided beef with the man, but he was going to keep calm. Be cool. Just grab his orange juice to chill out. 

His assistant Zack had it though and he wasn’t nearby. “Fuck.” Dieter muttered under his breath as Oscar walked over, opening his arms for a hug. Turning on the charm, he hugged him back and patted his back, a little too hard. 

“Hey Bravo, how are you? I heard you might be here. It’s good to see you.” A pearly white smile beamed from him. Go away. I want nothing to do with you.

“Fine. Just interviews and press. What’s new with you Issac? Singing about some more hippos?” Dieter meant it to be playful, but the vitriol was clear. Oscar picked up on it and he smirked, his eyebrows raising.

“Did another stint on broadway. You ever think trying it out Bravo?” Oscar stepped closer to Dieter,  “Oh, that’s right, you’ve flamed out and can’t hack it anymore. Doing your little scribbles and paints. Cabrón (bastard).” Dieter sucked his teeth, tapping his foot as fists formed at his sides. Wasn’t one sided after all, arrogant bastard. The camera around them snapped pictures of the two men smiling and talking, unaware of the battle for the last word taking place. Daisy trotted over and took her place near Bravo’s feet. 

Oscar bent down to pet Daisy which she allowed and Dieter followed suit, it was an excellent photo op, the pair of them with a baby goat. After a few pictures, Daisy walked a foot away and the two men continued taking pictures flashing peace signs while crouched. 

“Say what you will about my acting, but my art has already made millions and I can do it well after I retire from acting. What are you gonna do? Hop on a Christmas album with Mariah Carey when she re-emerges this winter?” Dieter continued as he stood back up beaming, “You and your hippos can only dream hijo de punta (son of a bitch).” Bravo waved to the cameras, when Oscar went to stand he was met with pain. 

Not from his knees, but a bite from one Daisy who maybe was going after the back pocket of his suit pants, but got a chunk of his ass in addition to the pocket. Issac let out a loud scream as Dieter laughed, this was the best thing to ever happen at a press event. It wasn’t long before he was escorted out with his goat, assistant, and his juice he never got to drink. The organizers confirmed that yes, he would still be paid as had done the interview and pictures and that’s mainly what he needed to know, as great as it was to see Oscar finally get his, he didn’t show up there for free. 

“Tell the driver to go to the Hilton hotel. I have someone to surprise. Isn’t that right Daisy? You’re not a traitor afterall. I hope you get the taste out of your mouth.” Dieter turned to his assistant Zack who just told the driver the address of the Hilton. “You got a snack for Daisy? She couldn’t have Oscar’s taste on her lips.” His large hand rubbed the goat’s head as she softly baahed and nuzzled into his chest. Zack got out a bag that had some snacks, giving the goat some carrots to nibble on. He held onto the small animal for Dieter as he hopped out of the SUV once the arrived at the hotel. He entered and asked at the front desk about a wedding party, they pointed him in the direction of the grand ballroom where some people were standing around, some were dancing and others were eating. It seemed that they may be in between events but he didn’t see her. He knew she’d be easy to pick out in the dress he saw this morning and her figure alone. A hand appeared on his shoulder and he turned to see the top of a head so he looked down.

“You looking for someone? Are you a guest of someone hun?” A warm voice asked him, he looked down to see an older woman with reddish brown hair looking up at him with a smile. Dieter noted that she had a ring on nearly every finger and multiple bracelets on both wrists. He nodded and she chuckled, it was similar to Maya.

“I am. Would you happen to be related to Maya?” he asked as she lowered her hand, she now wore a navy blue dress with suede heels, three inches this time.

“I’m her mother, Yvette. I take it she’s staying with you. She wasn’t sure if you were coming or not. Glad that you made it.” She started to walk down a hallway. “Follow me, I’ll show you where she is. Your name hun?” Ms. Yvette looked back and Dieter scratched the back of his head, he figured things would be fine. Meeting her mom was a little weird, but it was her brother’s wedding, he’d been hoping Maya would be with him when he met her but it didn’t appear bad yet. Dieter and Yvette rode the elevator to the eighth floor where the fittings had still been taking place.

Previous: Chapter Two

Next: Chapter Four

The tag list: @katw474 @readingiskeepingmegoing

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[pastandpresentselves]

i think i have approx 3 mutuals but if anyone wants to support my cat in his run for cutest cat of sacramento we would love your votes

no matter the results, timothée will be the winner in my eyes

he is currently fighting to be in the elite 8 while voting is taking place among the sweet 16 contenders

[trombonechurchill]

A Pinned Post!

Hello~ I'm Kris/Aithi on AO3, any pronouns, multi-fandom multi-shipper mess. I primarily write for 9-1-1 right now and you can find my stuff below:

[writing tag]

[AO3]

Current Posted WIPs:

Watching the Credits 🎬 My BuckTommy Movie Star!Tommy AU tag | AO3 Status: 2/5 chapters posted, chapter 3 is approx 90% complete

I'm pretty much always accepting tags for tag games, make me writes, or prompts so feel free to say hi even if we're not mutuals👋

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