#mutter pre prod

[endlich-allein]

"Between September and December, Rammstein rented the "Haus Weimar" villa in Heiligendamm for the pre-production of the album Mutter." © rammstein.de (photos credit to Paul, Ollie and Rammstein management)

The pre-production started in September 1999 in Haus Weimar, Heiligendamm. The house had absolutely no interior so the band had to install a kitchen and toilets, buy beds and cupboards. During the time all songs, which were written here, ended up on the album. According to Flake "90% waste" were recorded, too. The band stayed here until December 1999 and went to Berlin afterward, where they kept on working a little bit on the songs. The band was also searching for a recording studio. Ollie explained the requirements: "It is supposed to be abroad. The drums should be able to be recorded there so we can play together and change things. And it should be beautiful." It was the Miraval studios in the south of France that were chosen.

Miraval recording photos

[tra1nchi]

Day One:Mindcontrol!!!

MINORS DNI!! Bttm male reader🎃🎃

Extra ⚠️:Siren character x caretaker,,fingering,,oral

He had always wanted a mate. Someone to cherish, someone to please but he was stuck, he couldn't leave and he could bearly even move in his tank. Forced to live in a facility that shows him off like a precious fish to drooling little kids.

He hates it. He wishes he could sing his heart out to make all the humans leave him alone. It was impossible of course. The tank was specially made for creatures like him, Sound proof and most importantly escape proof.

He could say the only good thing about his life was you, his personal sweet little caretaker. You weren't like the scientists that poked and prodded at him like he was some kind of dead salmon, you were special, Atleast to him you were.

You were the perfect candidate for a mate, too trusting of him. He was after all a siren at heart and sirens have a desire to hunt even if they aren't aware of it. He would slowly start to court you, innocent at first with simple shells from the bottom of his tank but soon his desire grew darker.

Slowly coaxing you to come above his tank, making you go against your job guidelines, sweettalking you at first until during one of your many visits, he finally broke. Unable to hold himself back any longer.

He sang to you. His voice slow and hypnotic and he couldn't deny the spark in his gut as he watched your pretty eyes glaze over. There wasn't a thought behind your eyes, if he knew that it would be that easy he would have done it ages ago!

Commanding you to sit down on the edge of your pool, his praise causing you to become even more lethargic by the second. "That's it, good boy." He mused as he quickly removed the bottom half of your clothing, his tail basically thumping against his tank wall from excitement.

"So hard for me already hm? Poor boy must like my singing~" His webbed hand reaches out to wrap around your dick, you couldn't resist or deny against the siren, too deep under the trance of his song. Stroking it up and down rhythmically, He didn't bother to hide the smirk at the sound of your breathy moans emitting from your lips.

"How cute." He mutters before leaning down, taking your dick into his mouth. His sharp teeth running down the underside of it. Laughing through your dick when he feels your body shuddering. His long tongue swirling around your tip and lapping up all the pre cum that your hypnotised dick leaked.

He seemed to get a little carried away. Losing track on how many times he made you cum by just his mouth. Pulling off your dick as he soothed you with a gentle lullaby before flipping you over, his eyes softening at how willingly exposed you were.

Spreading your ass apart just for his eyes as his sharp finger slipped in, lazily fingering your hole as his other hand groped and playfully slapped your ass. He knew that his mate would be nice and submissive for him and now that he had you, he would never let you leave his special trance.

[tropes-and-tales]

🥰 FINALLY

(Frankie "Catfish" Morales x F!Reader)

CW:  Angst; talk of addiction; talk of failed relationships. Smut (PiV, unprotected). 18+ only.

Word Count: 6734

AN:  This was originally requested by @elegantmusicdragon, and it's a sequel to this!

There’s no pretending they don’t know.

Will saw it firsthand.  Pope heard it, then got text confirmation from Will.  Ben slept through all of it, but when he wakes early in the morning, he looks across the loft and sees his brother in the wan pre-dawn light, staring at the ceiling with a haunted look on his face. 

A bit of prodding later, he finds out what he missed while he slept.

You and Fish, fucking.  You and Fish, the two members of the team who squabble and irritate each other the most, who sometimes outright fight and sometimes require someone else—Will, usually—to referee.

You and Fish.  You thought you were quiet, but by morning, everyone knows.

And worse, you and Fish know they know.  After you finished, quiet as you could be, both of your cell phones pinged with a string of incoming messages.  From Pope.

Pope:  👏👏👏👏

Pope:  excellent work you two

Pope:  🍆 💦💦💦💦

Pope:  seriously tho ur both gross

Pope:  but congrats happy for u

You read the messages and felt a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, but when you glanced over at Frankie, he only raked his hand through his hair and muttered, “fuck.”

-----

Breakfast is a surreal affair.  No one says anything at first, so the only sounds are forks and spoons clinking against dishes.  Chewing.  Benny, doing his usual gross early morning phlegm-clearing cough.

Your face burns in embarrassment.  Frankie keeps his eyes fixed on his scrambled eggs, which he only pushes around with the tines of his fork.  You can feel Pope’s eyes on you, Will’s eyes, and the cabin is full of anticipation.

Pope’s the one who breaks it.  He clears his throat, asks in a tone that’s phony-casual, “everyone sleep okay?”

“I didn’t,” Will replies.  “Thought I heard something last night.”

“Outside?”  Again, Pope’s voice is fake, an edge of chipper teasing in it. 

“Sounded like something got into the cabin.”

Pope pulls a thoughtful face.  “Y’know, I think I heard something too.  Kinda like a wounded animal?  Two wounded animals, grunting and moaning—”

Frankie huffs out a heavy sigh, and you slouch lower in your chair.  Benny grins around his mug of coffee and adds, “it is mating season, I think.”

Pope snaps his finger, a eureka sort of gesture.  “That must be it!  We must have come here during mating season and just didn’t realize it.  Wild.  Who knew?”

You chafe at the word mating, which makes it sound like you and Frankie are…well, mates, so you mutter, “it’s just hooking up,” which makes Frankie sigh again, because that launches Pope into a blistering lecture about responsibility and poor choices and Jesus Christ, you two, are you even using protection?  Are you at least being safe, because you sure as shit aren’t being smart?

You mumble a defensive comment that it isn’t his business (though you’re on birth control, you sure as hell aren’t admitting it to the guys—Frankie knows, and that’s all that matters), and then you find the strength to stand up, announce that you’re going for a walk down to the lake, and if they care to speculate further on your reproductive health, they can do so without your presence.

*****

Frankie can’t remember the last time he has been so mortified.

No, scratch that.  He can remember.  It was when he was in the throes of his addiction, and you ambushed him with an intervention.  Now, a full year after that, he sees the love and care that went into it, but at the time, he felt a furious blend of anger and frustration and mortification.

This is like that, albeit less strong…but incredibly fresh.

After you march off—abandoning him, naturally—he lets the guys get their shots in.  He clenches his jaw and fixes his gaze somewhere over Pope’s head, at a pattern of knots in the wood paneling on the wall.  He tries to let their ribbing wash over him, but he takes each comment personally.

And he’s embarrassed.  It would be one thing to be caught with a random woman from, say, a bar or a party.  You, though?  It feels like a weakness, a failure of character, to be caught fucking someone he barely gets along with.  Pathetic, like he can’t do better.  Like he couldn’t find a woman who simpers for him, who is eager to impress him, who is impressed by him.  Like he’s had to settle for someone who rolls her eyes at him, who snarks at him, who doesn't think that highly of him. 

Someone who saw him at his weakest, when he was addicted to coke.  Someone who rolled her eyes and marched in to save the day.

Weak.  Pathetic.

Frankie stews.  The guys wear themselves out, split up.  Benny goes to find you on your march down to the lake.  He says he’ll calm you down, soothe your chagrined soul and smooth you out.  Pope disappears into his room to take a work call, since he has a new contract coming up in a few days.

It leaves Frankie and Will.  Frankie stands up from the table and makes his way out to the front porch, and Will follows.  Frankie heaves himself onto the porch swing, and he sets a rhythm of fast, jerky swinging.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  He swings in time to his pounding heart, the headache forming at the base of his skull.

Will settles on the step and stretches his leg out.  He turns his face to the rising sun, and he’s silent for a long moment.

“You okay?” he finally asks.  There’s no teasing in his voice.  He sounds genuine.

“Great.”  Frankie spits it out, sarcastic.

Will jerks his chin in the direction of the cabin door.  “You know we’re just teasing.”

“Yeah.”

Will hesitates before he asks, “is it really just hooking up?”

Frankie sighs.  “Obviously.”

Another beat of hesitation.  “You don’t have feelings for her?”

That pulls a bitter laugh from Frankie.  “Obviously not.”

“Thing is, it’s not so obvious.”  Will turns his head and fixes Frankie with an appraising look that Frankie doesn’t like.  He meets his eye for a beat, then slides his own gaze away, looks past Will to the clearing where the fire pit is.  That first evening here seems a million years ago, though it was only a couple of days. 

“It’s just that you two make a weird sort of sense,” Will continues.  “You’re so similar—”

“We’re nothing alike.”  Frankie cuts him off tersely.  “We don’t have a damned thing in common other than a shared history.”

“You’re both stubborn.  You’re both strong-willed people, and you both obviously care about each other—”

“No.  Nope.”  He cuts him off again, and all of those bad feelings—mortification being the strongest—bubble up in him.

“I don’t care about her.  Are you kidding?  It was just hooking up.  She was available, and it was convenient, and that’s it.” 

There’s venom behind his words, a force fed by his deep embarrassment to have been caught with you.  It makes his voice carry just enough that you and Ben both hear it as you walk back from the lake.  Will sees you first, makes a noise in the back of his throat as he catches your expression—the hurt there, the pain that Frankie’s words cause—and then Frankie sees you too.

“Hey,” he starts to say, but you wave him off, tell him it’s fine, you’re fine…and in all the years that Frankie has known you, this is the first time you lie to him.

-----

The weekend ends on a sour note.

There’s no fight between you and Frankie, and that hurts the most.  For as much as you bicker, you go silent now.  When you talk to him, you’re flat.  Polite.  Distant.

Pope needs to head back early to get back to Colombia, and you catch a ride with him.

“Got things I need to do,” you say, and everyone knows it’s a lie, but no one knows how to call you out on it.  You’re hurt, Frankie has hurt you and the guys fed into the bad feelings that led to that hurt, and everyone parts in a low mood.

A hundred times Frankie’s finger hovers over your name on his phone.  A hundred times he starts to craft a message in his head, only to toss the phone aside.

A hundred times he struggles to fall asleep because he cannot get your face out of his head.  That look of surprise and hurt, and all his fault because he was an asshole who was embarrassed to be caught hooking up with you.

No, not was an asshole.  Is an asshole.  Because a hundred times he thinks he’ll summon the courage to reach out, but a hundred times, he fails.

-----

He doesn’t see you for six months.  He don’t talk to you directly, and the best he gets is your short, clipped responses in the gang’s group chat.  Even there, you tend to go silent.

He dare not ask one of the guys how you’re doing.  He sees the Miller brothers the most, talks to Pope only sometimes, and maybe there’s a separate group chat because it seems as though the three of them have reached some agreement to never mention you around Frankie.

Six months.  Half a year after the cabin by the lake.  How does Frankie spend his time?  Lonely, mostly.  He goes to work, then goes home.  He goes to meetings once a week, but he rarely has cravings and has less pressure to use.  He started using before because he just had too much going on—work and married life, Pope’s scheming to make them all millionaires, Tom’s death.  Now Frankie has very little.  Just a job.  Just a small apartment where he sits alone on his secondhand couch and eats microwaved leftovers while the TV plays at a low volume.

A hundred times he thinks to call you.  A hundred times he thinks to drive to where you live—one town over, but only a fifteen minute drive.  He could apologize; he could try to understand why you looked so hurt.  Of course he cares for you, deep down, but it isn’t love…or was it?

A hundred times that question floats to the front of his mind, and a hundred times he shoves it down, ignores it, waits for it to recede from his thoughts.

-----

Six months after the cabin by the lake, Frankie sees you again.  Pope is in town for his birthday.  His latest contract has ended, the next one hasn’t begun, and he has a stretch of time to visit and gorge himself on all the things he can’t get overseas.

His birthday is held at Will and Benny’s place.  When Frankie rolls up a solid half hour late, though, Will is outside waiting for him.

“How’s it going?” he asks, and the two exchange their usual handshake into a half-hug.

“Good.  You?”

“Good.”  Will jams his hands in his pockets and fixes Frankie with a curious look.  “She’s in there, you know.”

It says a lot that the she in this case is you and not his ex-wife, who arguably would put the guys more on alert.  How have you managed to reach such a dubious place of honor?

Frankie tries to sound casual.  “Yeah, I figured.”  A beat, and he adds, “don’t worry.  I don’t plan on fighting with her.  It’s Pope’s night.”

Will furrows his brow at that, shakes his head faintly.  “Yeah, I know.  But Frankie, she’s in there with someone else.  Pope’s buddy, remember?”

-----

Fucking Paolo.

Fucking recently-divorced, recently-cheated on, sad piece of shit Paolo.  Pope’s buddy that he tried—and apparently succeeded at—setting you up with at the cabin.

Thing is, the guy isn’t a sad piece of shit.  Or a troll, as Frankie had teased you at the cabin.  The man is handsome; an easy smile and warm eyes.  Hair that looks great but like he didn’t try to make it look great.  Clothing well-fitted and well-made, but not obnoxiously designer.  Good handshake, when Frankie is introduced.  A genuine ‘nice to meet you’ in accented English.

Frankie’s jealousy, as it turns out, is wide and deep and never-ending.

Because for fuck’s sake, you look happy.  Relaxed.  Paolo puts his hand on your lower back and leads you to get fresh drinks.  He slings an arm around your waist as you stand and chat with Pope.  He turns and whispers something in your ear that makes you giggle, and how is Frankie just now learning that you fucking giggle, and that it sounds cute on you, a musical little laugh that makes his stomach turn because he’s never drawn such a sound from you?

And Paolo must smooth out your rough edges because you gift Frankie a little smile and ask how he’s been, and there’s no venom behind the question.  No lingering bad will. 

You’ve moved on, it seems, and it hits Frankie harder than he thought it would.  He ends up leaving after only a few hours, lies and says he’s coming down with something, but he takes one backwards glance at you before he goes. 

You aren’t looking at him at all.  You’re looking—gazing—at fucking Paolo’s handsome fucking face, and Frankie’s first thought is she never looked at me like that.

His second thought is maybe I never gave her a reason to look at me like that.

-----

Frankie sees you once a few months after Pope’s birthday, by accident at the grocery store.  You’re alone and frowning slightly in the produce section, looking at the selection of apples on display.  Paolo is nowhere in sight, but that doesn’t mean anything.

You don’t see Frankie.  He stands by the cut flowers and studies you from under the brim of his hat, and he half-hopes you turn and see him.  He half-hopes you don’t.  He stands by a bucket of cheerful daisies and wonders if Paolo brings you flowers.

He half-hopes the man does, because you deserve flowers.  He half-hopes he doesn’t, because Frankie is jealous and hates the thought that Paolo has only known you for a fraction of time—far less than Frankie has known you—and is still probably that much better for you than Frankie would have been.

Frankie doesn’t know what to do with himself.  His thumb still hovers over your contact information in the still, quiet hours of the night. 

He thinks of the intervention you staged for him.  He had stormed out, furious to be so embarrassed and exposed, and you had followed.

He remembers you stopping him, your hands turning him to face you.  Your hands gripping either side of his face as you stared deep into his eyes and pleaded with him to get his shit together.

It’s as good of advice now as it was then.

-----

A year after the cabin by the lake, and everyone returns to the cabin by the lake. 

Frankie hesitates when Will calls for his confirmation.  Will must guess why, because Will not-so-casually mentions that it’s just the core folks, you and Frankie and Pope and the Millers.  No plus-ones.

“Just us,” Will reminds him.  “To remember Tom.”

So fucking Paolo won’t be there with his nice smile and nice hair and his hand resting lightly on your back, and Frankie agrees to come.

When he arrives, it is just like the year before.  Pope pulls rank and calls dibs on the lone single bedroom.  The Miller brothers scamper up to the loft like children, poking at each other and laughing the whole way.

Which leaves you and Frankie exactly where you were a year ago.  Awkwardly sharing the living room with the lumpy couch and a mattress on the floor.  Frankie glances at you, opens his mouth to say something, but Pope—who tosses his bag into the bedroom, then strides back out—comes up to you and pulls you into a hug that kind of looks like a headlock.

“Sorry to hear about it,” he says, and Frankie is bewildered for a beat before Pope adds, “for the record, I told him he was being fucking stupid.”

His mind guesses that this is about Paolo, but his mouth, which often operates independently of his mind, blurts out, “did you break up?”

You peer out at him from where Pope has you tucked against him, and grumble, “how’d you say it last year?  I’d only disappoint him.”

Frankie sucks in a breath, remembers the shot he took at you.  He shakes his head, ashamed at the memory, but doesn’t say anything.

“No.  No, no, no.”  Pope adjusts his hold, puts you in an actual headlock.  He glances over at Frankie and clarifies, “he got back together with his ex-wife.”

“She was better than me,” you chime in, and it sounds muffled.

“Nope again.  She’s a cheater, and she’ll cheat again, and you’ll be off with someone far better.”  Pope adjusts his hold as you struggle against him, and he adds, “now say something nice about yourself.  No feeling sorry, so say something nice.”

“I’m a good cook.”  It’s muffled again; your face is pressed against Pope’s side where he holds you fast.

“No good.  I mean, you’re a good cook, yes, but you learned that.  It’s not essential to who you are.”

“Pope, c’mon,” you whine.  “Lemme go.”

“Not until you say it.”

Frankie smiles at the exchange, but he puzzles over it too.  He wonders at the relationship you have with Pope, separate from him and the other guys.  He supposes he’s never considered it—he always thought you and he had a separate thing, but never considered how you got on with Pope or Will or Ben independent of him, separate from the broader group. 

But Paolo was Pope’s friend too, and Frankie wonders how much Pope hyped you up to Paolo and vice versa.  And how much Pope has been there for you now that it’s ended, perhaps feeling guilty to have it go sideways on you.

Hence this little game that seems well-established:  Pope holding you in a headlock, forcing you to speak well of yourself.

“I’m…loyal,” you finally concede.

Pope shoots Frankie a grin and replies, “yes, you are.  You’re good as gold.”

But he doesn’t release you quick enough, and you get enough of an arm free to lightly sucker punch him low in the stomach, and Frankie smiles wider because that’s the you he recognizes best—the one who puts up with shit to a certain level, then comes out swinging.

-----

The first night this time is much the same as the last time.  There’s a bonfire, a cooler of beers, laughter.  Loons call across the water to each other, and sparks from the fire drift on the updraft to merge with the stars glimmering above them.

Frankie feels restless.  He fiddles with his bottle of beer, rolls it between his palms, peels the label.  He hasn’t seen you in so long, hasn’t talked to you for even longer, and now you’re sitting across the fire ring from him.  Your face is gilded orange and gold in the flames, and while you laugh with them, you seem a touch sad.  Quieter than usual.

When everyone finally turns in, he offers you the mattress on the floor.  For the first time since you’ve arrived, you pause and look at him.  Actually look at him:  meet his eyes, study his face. 

“The couch is lumpy,” you remind him.  “Your back.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Nah, I’m okay.”  You turn away and shake out the folded blanket, and Frankie despairs at how polite and distant you are now.  His own fault, but he loathes it.  He wishes you’d squabble with him again, pick a fight, tease him until he huffs in frustration.

“Hey, can we talk?” he asks.  He watches you lie down.  You punch at the pillow, turn on your side, then settle and sigh.

“I’d rather not, Fish.”

“I wanted to say I’m sorry—”

You arch an eyebrow at him.  “For Paolo?  You kinda said it would go down the exact way it went down.”

He shakes his head.  “No, but I should have never said that—”

“It’s fine.”

“I meant, I wanted to say I’m sorry for before.”

“Oh.”

“Here, last year.”  He swallows and studies your expression, which gives nothing away.  “I shouldn’t have said what I did.  It was cruel, and—”

“I get it.  I remember.  It’s fine, Fish.  Everything’s fine.”

He wants to add more, but you roll over to face the back of the couch, your back to him.  It occurs a moment later that you’re still lying to him, because you’ve just said everything was fine at least four times in the past five minutes, and he gets the distinct impression that nothing is fine.

-----

The next day, you hike again.  It’s a different route this time, and the summit is different but the view is the same, just a different angle:  placid lake below, brilliant blue sky above, and a picnic lunch spread out on the rock. 

Frankie has done a lot of work on himself.  In the past months, he’s learned to stop thinking of himself as a fixed point.  Life is not a ladder, as he always imagined.  He can change and adapt and not think himself weak for backing up and taking a different route when the first route proves to be a dead end.

Case in point:  you and your occasional balking as you hike down a mountain.  There’s a stretch that is dicey, loose graveled and steep, and sure enough, you falter, then freeze.

Frankie from last year got impatient with you, and left you behind for Benny to rescue.

Frankie from this year recognizes that your fear isn’t a personal failing.  It’s a quirk.  It makes you you, and how he reacts now is what makes him him.  The new and improved Frankie.  Less of an asshole.  Back up, try a new way. 

“Take your time,” he tells you now.  “There’s no rush.”

You don’t seem to hear him.  You’re so used to him being frustrated that you say, plaintive, “just go around, Fish.”

A breath.  New and improved Frankie.  “No, I’ll wait for you.  I’m here.”

You glance at him, and he sees the whites of your eyes:  the fear there.  He regrets that he wasn’t patient with you before.  Another breath, like his therapist taught him.  He feels the regret, then lets it go.  He reminds himself that he can be better now.

Frankie reaches out a hand to you.  “C’mon,” he says.  “I’ve got you.”

Of course you stare at him a long moment like he’s grown two heads.  Like he’s been replaced by some alien double who is kind instead of snappish.

You end up taking his hand, though, and he grips you firmly, takes you step by step out of the perilous stretch of the trail.

-----

Dinner is Pope on steaks, you on pasta and vegetables again.  Benny, who took an internet wine course to impress a girl, pops the corks on a few bottles of middle shelf vintage.  He explains about how it has to breathe, how it has to release the bouquet until Pope steps away from the steaks to smack him upside his head.

New and improved Frankie.  When the dinner conversation touches on your breakup, he murmurs his consolations.  When Pope gives the entire history of Paolo and his volatile ex-wife, he clicks his tongue and shakes his head in disgust.

New and improved Frankie.  He tells you your contributions to the meal are delicious, and he misses the sly look that Will gives to Pope because Frankie is too focused on you.  Your face twists in confusion at his praise, and you reply a beat later with a lilt of questioning, “thank you?”

-----

New and improved Frankie.  He manages to beat you to the living room before bed, and he snags the couch while you’re brushing your teeth.  You stop in your tracks when you see him, and you narrow your eyes.

“Take the mattress tonight,” he says.  He ignores the spring in the couch digging into the left side of his ass.  “Seriously.”

The guys are all already tucked into their own beds, so when you put your hands on your hips and demand to know what the hell is wrong with him, you keep your voice low.

“Nothing wrong with me.”

You don’t buy it, but your scowl softens.  “Frankie, are you using again?”

He laughs.  Of course you’d associate his attempts at niceness with drugs. 

“Not at all.  I’m at about eighteen months clean.”

That replaces your scowl with a smile.  A genuine one.  “Oh, Fish.  Congratulations.”

“It’s thanks to you.”

“Nah.  You’re the one who did the hard work.”

“You’re the one who saw I had a problem.”

“The guys noticed it too.”

“Yeah, but.”  He takes a breath.  “You’re the one who took action.  You probably saved my life.”

You wave him off, and you kneel down on the mattress, then sit cross-legged and look at him.  “You give me too much credit, Fish.”

That makes him shake his head.  “No, I never gave you enough credit.  I was married, remember.  Sophie never noticed, and if she did, she didn’t set up an intervention.  It was all you.”

Something about being so open makes you uncomfortable.  You fold your hands in your lap and look down at them.  “Where is all this coming from?”  Your voice is quiet, and Frankie has to strain to hear you.

“What do you mean?”

A sigh.  “I mean, I don’t want you to be nice because I got dumped.  I hate pity.”

He sits up a bit, props himself on his elbow and watches you.  “It’s not pity.”

“Then why are you being so nice?  We haven’t argued once and it’s been over a day.”  You glance over at him, your hands twisting in your lap restlessly.

He sits up completely and leans forward, his elbows on his knees.  “I hated the way I left things with you before.”  A pause.  “Remember what you told me at my intervention?  You said I had to get my shit together.  I thought, ‘okay, I’m clean now, I have some clean months behind me.  So why am I still so fucking miserable to be with?’”

“Fish, you aren’t miserable to be—”

“I am.”  He cuts you off.  “And I don’t want to be.  I don’t want to be the man who makes you feel like shit because I’m embarrassed we got caught hooking up.  You’re not something to be ashamed of, and I acted like a complete asshole.”

The corner of your mouth twitches in a sardonic smile.  “The guys were being obnoxious.”

“And I should have been obnoxious back.  I could have talked you up.  Talked us up.  Instead of being a dick, I could have said, ‘yeah, we’re hooking up, and it’s amazing, so be jealous about it because you’re all single with no prospects.’”

“We were technically single too.”

He nods, serious.  “Yeah, we were, but maybe we shouldn’t have been.”

That makes you laugh; an honest-to-god belly laugh that has you wrapping your arms around your stomach.  Frankie winces, glances up at the loft where the Miller brothers are theoretically sleeping, then he pushes the worry aside.  Who gives a shit if they hear you laughing with him?

When he doesn’t laugh too, your laughter dies down.  “Wait, you’re not joking?”

“No.”

A long pause with the two of you watching each other.  “…and you’re sure you’re not using?”

“I’m sure.  I had a piss test last week for work.”

“…okay.”

He sighs and holds his hands out to you, palms up.  Entreating.  “I’ve been seeing a therapist.  Yes, it feels like bullshit, but it’s something, you know?  Having a third party to bounce my bad memories against.  My bad feelings.  He’s helped me figure out some stuff.”

You blink at him in sincere surprise.  “I’m proud of you, Fish.”

That makes a warm flush course through him, you being proud of him.  “It’s a cliché, but there’s shit from childhood that really can fuck a person up as an adult, you know?”

“Oh, I know it.  Eldest daughter, right here.  Child of functional alcoholics.”

“I guess I always had this set idea in my head of how life was gonna be, and when it was not that, when it turned out to be something that I constantly had to work out, I didn’t know how to handle that,” he admits.

“I get that too.”  You nod along, and you stop fiddling with your hands.

Frankie takes a deep breath and plunges ahead.  He has to get it out, and he has your attention.

“And, you know, I had set ideas about relationships.  Women.  Marriage.”

The sardonic smile returns.  “Here we go.”

“I was trying to recreate a perfect version of my parents’ marriage,” he admits.  It took some deep work to realize it.  Talking in therapy, dredging up memories he thought he had buried nice and deep.  “I thought if I could do it like them, but better, I would have won.”

“Won what, exactly?” you ask softly.

“Life?  I don’t even know.  It sounds stupid to say it out loud, but I thought it would mean that I had succeeded as an adult.  As a man.  Like people would look at me and be impressed.”

He glances at you, and you nod encouragingly.  He takes another deep breath, and he asks you to just listen to the next part, to not interrupt.  To let him get it all out before you stop listening.

“Okay.”  Another nod, and you settle your hands in your lap again and hold them there.

“So I tried to recreate my parents’ marriage, right?  I found a woman a lot like my mom.  Traditional, stay at home.  Sophie wanted to be taken care of, you know.  She didn’t want to work.  She wanted someone to make the decisions for her on all the big adult stuff.  She wanted to keep house and have kids and be a soccer mom.  Make homemade Halloween costumes and throw elaborate birthday parties for our four or five children, and there was nothing wrong with that.  I thought she’d be better than my mom, an actual mom, you know?  Not someone to get bitter about her missed opportunities and tell her kids how she sacrificed everything for them.  Because that’s what my childhood was like.  My mom always couched everything in what she gave up, like me or my brothers asked to be born.”

He pauses, catches his breath.  You’re watching him, expectant, so he continues.

“And meanwhile, I thought I’d be the best husband.  The best dad.  I had a military career, and they trained me to fly helicopters.  I was so much further ahead than my own dad, who drove a tow truck.  He worked hard all day, then came home to a bitter wife.  The best thing in his life was drinking cheap beer in the garage and hiding from her, and here I was, married to Sophie with a good military job and benefits, and I should have been so happy to be winning.”

“But you weren’t,” you say gently.  It isn’t a question.

He shakes his head.  “No, I wasn’t.  And I didn’t know why.  I started to resent Soph for never making a decision.  Mortgage went up because property taxes went up?  Not her problem.  Roof needed replaced?  I had to figure it out.  Car registration expired while I was overseas, and she got a ticket?  Somehow I had to solve it from the middle of goddamned Afghanistan.  We didn’t even have kids yet, and I was feeling all this pressure to be an adult for both of us.  When I got back home on leave, she tells me that she’s stopped her birth control, and I just…cracked.”

“I get it, Fish.  I mean, not being married, but I get how it feels to expect one thing in your life and have the opposite happen.”

He holds up a palm to remind you to let him get it all out, and you whisper “sorry.  Go ‘head.”

“And then there was you.  The complete opposite of Soph, you know?  You were…are this super independent woman, and whenever we were stuck overseas and Soph was struggling with running a house stateside, you were just there, chirping about what she needed to do.  Like it was nothing.  And I got irritated with you because you are just so damned pulled together and even-keeled and…and easy.  It’s so easy with you, and I hated it because I knew I made the wrong choice after all.  I tried so hard to avoid my parents’ marriage’s pitfalls that I just fell into the same pattern even harder, and you were the one who showed me that.”

He watches to see how his words land.  When you blink at him, he sees a film of tears there, so he plunges forward to get the rest out.

“I didn’t even realize that I loved you.  That’s how fucked in the head I was.  I picked fights with you and told the guys how irritating I thought you were, and you stuck to me anyway.  I could never shake you off.  We mustered out and you saw me drowning in my addiction, and I still told myself that I didn’t like you, didn’t care about you.  I got divorced, and we started hooking up, and I swear to god, sweetheart, hand up to god:  the first time we slept together, it felt like I was finally home, and I still couldn’t admit it to myself.  I kept telling you each time that it was the last time but I kept coming back for more because you feel like home and I loved you, but I fucked it all up because I didn’t understand who I was or what I wanted.”

He stops there, spent.  He feels like he’s been emptied out, and he stares down at his own clenched hands and waits for you to say something.  Anything.

There’s a long, long moment of silence.  He hears the loons on the lake and the wind rustling the trees outside, but you don’t say anything for so long.

Then you breathe out his name, an “oh, Frankie,” and when he looks up, he sees the tears streaming down your face.

“I mean it,” he adds softly.  “I’m sorry, but I mean it.  I love you.  I’ve probably always loved you.  Thinking back, I can’t remember a time I didn’t.  I just didn’t realize it.”

You’re crying openly now, but you’re trying to be quiet.  Frankie doesn’t even think of the guys nearby; he stands up and makes his way to where you sit on the mattress, and he wraps his arm around your shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters against the side of your head, and he has no idea what you’re thinking—if you’re horrified or embarrassed or something else by his admission.  It’s out now, though.  He can’t take it back, and he doesn’t think he would want to take it back anyway.

It takes another long moment of him holding you awkwardly, you trying not to cry too loudly.  But then you give a weak laugh, and whisper hoarsely, “I really thought you were on drugs again.”

“Therapy is sometimes harder than sobriety.”

You pull away a little and stare at him with eyes brilliant with tears.  “Would you have said anything if I were still with Paolo?”

“Maybe.  I might have changed the messaging.  I wouldn’t have wanted to get in the middle of anything.”

You chuck him weakly on his bicep.  “I’ve missed you, you asshole.  And I wasn’t expecting any of this.”

He grins down at you.  “If you feel too out of sorts, we could argue.”

“Yeah?”

“You pointed out that we haven’t argued once yet.”

“Feels weird.”

“It does. Want a big fight or just a little one?”

“Might as well go big.  It’s been so long.”

Frankie chuckles.  He releases you.  He holds his hands up and makes a ‘gimme’ gesture with them.  A ‘give me your best shot’ gesture. 

“C’mon then.  Let’s hear it,” he says.

You smile and swipe at your wet eyes.  “Okay.  You’re a real fucking piece of work, dropping all this heavy shit on me out of nowhere.”

“Maybe you’re a real fucking piece of work to have never guessed.”

A laugh of surprise erupts out of you.  “How in the hell would I ever have guessed that?”

“You notice everything else.  You noticed I was using before.”

“So you dropping a ton of weight and looking like shit from coke is the same as being in love?”

“With you?” he scoffs.  “Absolutely.  Can’t sleep, no appetite, can’t think straight ‘cos of you—”

“Fuck you, Fish,” you say, and then you’re on him, your mouth sliding over his, and it feels just as he said:  you feel just like home.  It stretches out, long and eager, the two of you obviously missing each other and making up for lost time.  Too much lost time.

He breaks the kiss long enough to get you turned and under him, to get your thin cotton shorts down around your ankles, to get his own pajama pants down enough to free his hardening cock.  He bullies himself between your thighs but you spread yourself wide eagerly.  You grasp the back of his neck with one hand, but you reach down with your other hand, take him in hand, and stroke him to his full length.  He touches you between your legs, feels you growing wet and slick for him, and it’s just like home when he kisses you, and it’s just like home when he notches himself against your entrance and then slides into you.

What’s new, though, is how he drops his head so his mouth is near your ear, and he whispers, “god, I love you so fucking much.”

It’s new, too, how you clench down at those words, then turn his head to make him look at you, so he can see your eyes when you whisper back, “I love you too, Frankie.  Always.”

*****

In the past year, Pope has obtained a prescription for medication to help him sleep, so he misses the texts flying in the shadow group chat that is just him and Miller brothers. He only reads them when he wakes up to birdsong outside his window.

Will:  u hearing this?

Will:  Pope.  POPE.

Benny:  Wkae up, asshole.

Will:  u will never guess what’s happening

Benny:  🍆🍑💦

Will:  Fish told her he loved her.

Benny:  bro, wake the fuck up.  This is wild.

Will:  HE SAID HE LOVES HER

Benny:  disgusting but wild

Will:  I think she said it back

It’s five in the morning when Pope wakes up and reads the texts.  He grins, and he wonders if Benny realizes that the peach emoji usually is a stand-in for an ass, which means Benny was implying that you and Fish had anal sex while they all slept nearby, which seems unlikely. 

Pope climbs out of bed quietly to use the bathroom, and it takes him through the living room where you and Frankie are asleep.  Together, he notes.  You’re both fully clothed—thank Christ for small miracles—but you’re together on the mattress on the floor.  Frankie’s arm is over your waist, and your hand lightly circles his wrist.

Fucking gross. 

But also fucking adorable.

Pope uses the bathroom, then tiptoes back to his bed.  He re-reads the texts, then types out his reply to Will and Benny.

Pope:  🥰

Pope:  FINALLY.

[alltheirdamn]

DECLINED | Mechanic!Joel x f!reader

*The Bet*

Summary: Joel makes you a bet during a night out. Rating: 18+ Explicit Word Count: 3k Warnings: Pre-outbreak AU, mechanic!joel, established relationship, mentions of alcohol, banter, teasing, semi-public sex, unprotected piv sex, oral (f! receiving), edging, ROUGH sex, squirting, hair pulling, choking, cum eating, facial, light spanking, light face slapping, heavy kissing, explicit language, pet names (darlin', cowboy, babydoll), brat taming (kinda?) A/N: This is just pure FILTH. Eat it up, kids, I know you love it.

Masterlist | Ko-Fi

Friday nights always meant date night with Joel. With Tommy babysitting Sarah and the work day done for you both, he insisted on taking you to his favorite bar on the outskirts of town. You were looking forward to a night alone, especially when you had a surprise up your sleeve. Earlier in the week, you came across a boutique in downtown Austin that sold very…niche t-shirts…and couldn’t help buying one. Putting the finishing touches on your makeup, you stepped back and admired your outfit. You had on the tiniest pair of cut-off denim shorts hugging your ass, a pair of worn black cowboy boots, and a fitted tank top with Cowboy Pillows written across your chest. It was perfect, and you knew it would drive Joel crazy. 

Joel stopped dead in his tracks when you came waltzing out of the house and toward his truck; the hand holding open the passenger door tightened until his knuckles turned white. 

Staring you down with a fire lit behind his big puppy dog eyes, Joel shook his head in protest.

“Absolutely the fuck not, babydoll,” he swore. “Take that pretty ass back inside and change.”

You stood before the truck with your arms crossed and the biggest pout forming on your lips. 

“Did you even read my shirt, cowboy?” You asked, moving your arms to reveal the words stretched over your breasts. 

“It’s very cute, darlin’, but you ain’t goin’ out like that,” Joel grumbled. 

“Why?” You frowned. 

“I ain’t tryna get arrested tonight. ‘Cause if one man lay eyes on those perky tits, I’m killin’ them.”

You strode toward him, pressing your body against his. His hands found their usual spot over the swell of your ass, his fingers prodding into the supple flesh hidden under the denim. You hummed as his mouth dipped to your ear, his teeth grazing over the shell as his voice dropped low. 

“Why don’t we just stay in?” He breathed. “Wanna take you right back in the house and fuck you ‘til you can’t walk.”

“You promised me a night out, Joel,” you whined. 

He made his way down your neck, peppering you with open-mouthed kisses before responding to your demands.

“Fine,” he muttered against your skin. “Get your sexy ass in the fuckin’ truck, and let’s go.”

He released you and climbed into the truck with a mischievous grin. Joel quickly pulled you across the bench, tucking you into his side as he pulled out of the driveway and toward the bar. You brushed your hand over Joel’s thigh, your fingers creeping up to the zipper of his jeans. He shifted in the seat, spreading his legs a little wider to welcome more of your touch. 

“You’re gonna get yourself in trouble, babydoll,” he warned. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied innocently. 

His hand shot out before you could drag his zipper down, bringing your fingers up to his mouth to place gentle kisses along each digit. 

“I’ll make you a bet,” he smirked, turning his head to look at you.

“What kind of bet?”

“No touchin’ each other tonight. The first person to do it loses.”

A giggle bubbled out of you as you considered his offer. Knowing Joel, he’d lose before you stepped into the bar. The idea of teasing him all night already had your thighs clenching tight, the friction of the denim against your aching clit nearly too painful to bear.

“What happens to the loser?” You asked.

“Loser gets to do whatever the other one wants.”

The truck slowed to a stop as the streetlight turned red, and you moved closer to reel him in for a deep kiss. If this bet was going to happen, you wanted all the attention before you set out to win the bet. Joel’s tongue brushed over your lips, coaxing your mouth open wider and deepening the kiss. You moaned into his mouth, tangling your hands in his hair to hold him closer. 

“You’re on, cowboy,” you grinned, pulling away as the light turned green. “Hope you’re ready to lose.”

“We’ll see ‘bout that, darlin'.”

The bar was mildly crowded for a Friday night. Most of the patrons were older men sulking around or flirting with the bartenders. Soft country music floated out of the jukebox in the corner, and you found yourself swaying your hips to the melody. Joel watched you as you danced, his eyes never leaving your body unless he caught wind of another man admiring you from afar. You laughed each time he scowled at them and upped the movement of your hips just to get a rise out of him. Watching him try to hold back from touching you was cute, his hand nearly crushing the beer he was nursing. 

After your third drink, the tipsy feeling started to settle in, and self-restraint was slowly phasing out of your body. Joel noticed the shift in your mood as you perched yourself on a barstool. You tried to hide the way you clenched your thighs, chasing the friction of the denim rubbing against your aching clit. Leaning in as close as he could, Joel lowered his head and chuckled. 

“Doin’ okay, babydoll?” He whispered in your ear, his mouth a breath away from your neck.

You shivered at the phantom touch; he was so close, yet not close enough. 

“Stop it,” you exhaled. “You’re not playing fair.”

“Not playin’ fair?” He questioned. “You ain’t been playin’ fair since you walked out the damn house.”

“Aw, poor baby,” you feigned sympathy. “Am I driving you crazy with my lil’ outfit?”

“You have no fuckin’ idea, darlin’.”

Scootching off the barstool, you tilted your head toward the vacant pool table. Joel’s eyes followed the motion, raising his brow at your silent invitation.

“Y’wanna play?” He asked. “Hope you’re ready to lose, darlin’.”

“You talk a big game, cowboy. You’re on.”

You grabbed a cue stick and waited for Joel to rack the balls and center them on the green velvet table. He grabbed his own stick and gestured to you to start. 

“All you, babydoll. Let’s see it.”

You rounded the table and leaned over to line your stick with the cue ball. Inhaling on the pull of your stick, you exhaled and drove it into the cue. The sound of the resin balls breaking shattered the music in the background, their triangle formation scattering across the table. You managed to sink two striped balls into the left corner pocket and rose to assess the damage. Joel stared at you, impressed, nodding as he lined up his stick with the cue. 

“Y’got stripes, babydoll. Solid’s are mine,” he mutters, his eyes trained on the ball. 

You watched, mesmerized, as Joel’s shoulder muscles moved fluidly with each extension of his arm. With a strong drive of the stick, Joel sunk the four ball into the right-center pocket. Giving you a cocky grin, he rounded the table again, this time directly facing you. He stared up at you, his eyes dark under the furrow of his brows. You bent over the table's edge, propping your face onto your hands and shimming your shoulders slightly. Joel’s eyes snapped up to your chest, fixated on the way your breasts pushed together.

“Not fair,” he gritted before sending his stick into the cue ball. 

The ball scratched on the table, missing the solid he aimed for. You smirked at him, sticking your tongue out as you skipped around the table to settle into position against the table. You eyed Joel as he moved to stand behind you, and you rewarded him with pushing your ass out further. Giving your hips a little wiggle, you sent a forceful shot into the cue, sinking the nine ball and ricocheting it against the twelve ball, sending it into the right corner pocket. 

“Damn,” Joel mumbled, tracking your body as you lined up for your third turn. 

“Didn’t think I was good, huh?” You laughed. 

“You’re good at everythin’, darlin’.”

The dip in his voice vibrated up your body as you pressed your legs against the table to line up for the next stroke. Joel leaned his hip against the corner of the table, folding his arms as he watched you aim your stick at the cue. 

“C’mon, babydoll,” he whispered, drawing your focus away from the shot and causing the cue ball to sink into the pocket rather than the fifteen ball you were gunning toward. 

“You play dirty,” you grumbled. 

Joel crowded you, his body inches from yours. You arched into the distance between your bodies, barely keeping your chest from brushing his. 

“I bet those panties are already soaked, huh?” Joel teased.

You gave him an innocent smile, ready to deliver the final blow to his restraint. Rising onto your toes, you kept your mouth close to his ear. 

“They would be if I were wearing any, cowboy.”

You pulled back to see Joel’s nostrils flaring, his eyes roaming down your body and back up. 

“Bathroom. Now.” He demanded. 

“But we’re still playing,” you whined, gesturing to the pool table. 

Joel’s hand shot out to your waist, dragging you to his body. 

“Fuck the game. Need you in that bathroom now so I can fuck that sassiness outta you,” he growled. 

“I’m not sassin’ you, cowboy. You’re just a sore loser,” you taunted. 

“I ain’t gonna ask again, babydoll. You either walk to the bathroom right now, or I fuck you on that pool table in front of everyone.”

“Maybe I want a crowd,” you shrugged with a coy grin. “Bend me over right here, cowboy. Show them who’s yours.”

“Bet you’d like that, huh? Have all them eyes on you while you scream my name and soak the table. Y’wanna show everyone how good y’take my cock?”

“Do it,” you smiled. 

Joel’s hand traveled down your ass, squeezing it hard enough to make you yelp before smacking it hard. A few heads turned at the sound, their wandering eyes scrutinizing you and Joel. Even though Joel could be all talk, you knew he wouldn’t actually fuck you in front of everyone, not when he was the most protective and selfish man there was. 

You were too turned on to fight it now. Turning toward the bathroom, you glanced over your shoulder and smiled as Joel watched you walk to the dimly lit hallway of the bar. You didn’t have the care to notice heads turning to stare at you as you passed, the excitement too strong as it coursed through your veins. You barely had a hand on the door when you felt a warm body pressed against your back, and Joel was quick to shove you inside the one-stall bathroom. With a quick turn of the lock, he had you pinned to the ceramic sink and his mouth crashing against yours. While you tangled your fingers into his messy curls, Joel worked at your shorts, tugging the tight denim down your hips and thighs. He broke away from your lips, staring down at your bare sex as you spread your legs slightly. 

“Fuckin’ christ, babydoll,” he exhaled. “Can’t believe you been keepin’ this from me all night.”

“Like what you see?” 

Joel wrapped two strong hands behind your thighs and lifted you onto the edge of the sink. You gasped at the shock of the cold against your bare ass, bucking your hips forward to search for his warmth. He lowered himself onto his knees, keeping a firm grip on your thighs as you settled your calves over his shoulders. Peering up at you between your parted legs, Joel gave you a wicked grin before brushing his nose up your inner thighs. 

“You know I won, right?” You questioned as his tongue pressed against your throbbing clit. “Technically, I should be calling the shots.”

Joel glared up at you, his pupils blown wide under the red lights of the bathroom. 

“Y’can call the shots all you want later,” he mumbled. “Right now, you’re mine.”

You cried as his tongue dipped inside you, his jaw working overtime to pull each pitiful sound from your body. He drew circles around your slick folds, purposefully avoiding your aching clit. You whined every time his tongue brushed close to it, that agonizing surge of pleasure coursing through your body. Music from the bar drifted into the bathroom, layering over the frustrated cries leaving your lips. 

“Stop teasing, cowboy,” you panted, bucking your hips against his tongue.

“This is what ya’ get, darlin’,” Joel spoke against your wet cunt.

“Please,” you begged.

He pulled away entirely, leaving you chasing the orgasm you never got. Spinning you toward the mirror, Joel worked at freeing his cock with one hand while pressing the other hand into your spine. You flattened against the sink, your hands pressed against the mirror. Glancing up, you met his eyes in the mirror, watching as his lips twitched into a devilish grin. That was all the warning he gave before he drove into you in one fluid stroke. 

“Fuck!” You cried, your head falling between your shoulders.

Joel’s hand wound around your hair, twisting it into a ponytail and yanking your neck back until you strained against his grip. 

“Nuh uh, babydoll,” Joel grunted. “Watch me while I fuck you.”

You locked your eyes with his through the reflection, watching as his face twisted into something carnal. He pounded into you with enough force to make the sink underneath you creak with the weight pressed against it. Joel kept a relentless pace, dismissing every whine and sob falling off your lips. He reached around you with his other hand, wrapping his hand around your throat and squeezing tight. You heaved in a breath as your vision blurred, the pleasure mixing with pain every time he slammed into you.

Your orgasm started surging up through your core, snaking into your bloodstream and becoming unbearable to hold back. You choked out a sob, your thighs quaking as the pleasure built inside your stomach.

“Joel,” you choked. 

“Y’need to cum, babydoll?” Joel taunted, driving into you hard.

His cock hit the right spot over and over again until he felt your cunt clenching around him. He pulled out at the exact moment your orgasm exploded through your body, liquid gushing out of you and down your thighs. Joel growled in approval, sinking back into you as the aftershocks sent tremors through your limbs.

“Good fuckin’ girl,” he praised. “Keep takin’ my fuckin’ cock. I ain’t done yet, babydoll.”

His hand was still gripping your throat, his fingers applying more pressure to cut off your ragged whimpers. You clawed at the edge of the sink, entirely at Joel’s mercy as he wrecked into you harder…faster. He didn’t lie when he said he was going to fuck the sass out of you; you were helpless in this moment. 

But you fucking loved it.

“So. Fuckin’. Good.” Joel punched out each word through every thrust. 

Joel released your throat and wrapped both hands in your hair, using it to guide your hips back against his cock. You were so full of him and so sore, but you couldn’t deny the pressure swelling inside your stomach. You gasped for air as each thrust grew stronger, his cock assaulting you until you spasmed under him and let your orgasm rush out of you. 

“Fuck! Fuck… fuck… fuck,” you chanted, chasing the throbbing pulse inside your body. 

Warm liquid drenched his cock, the lewd sound of his hips meeting yours echoing around you. Joel pulled out suddenly, leaving you hollow and soaked. Wrangling you to your knees, Joel pumped his cock over your open mouth, grunting out your name as his release painted your tongue and lips. Bending down to eye level, Joel lapped up the cum dripping off your swollen lips before bringing his hand up to slap your cheek. He rubbed a hand over your face, smearing your makeup around, leaving you a fucked-out mess.

“Y’look so pretty like this,” he hummed, pulling you in for a hungry kiss. You whimpered into his mouth, his tongue intertwining with yours. 

“I love you, babydoll,” he sighed, pressing his lips against your forehead. 

“I love you too, cowboy,” you preened. 

You were used to him being rough—dominant—but this possessiveness was intoxicating. You wanted more.

“I think I should sass you more often,” you giggled. 

“You enjoy bein’ fucked like a bratty lil’ slut?” He smirked. 

“Love it,” you exhaled, dragging him back to your mouth. 

Joel helped you back into your shorts after you both took a moment to breathe. You turned towards the mirror and admired the complete mess that you were; your hair was mangled into knots, your shirt was askew, and your face was covered in streaks of mascara, smeared lipstick, and drool. A giggle bubbled out of you as you tried to tame down your hair and wipe away some of the makeup coating your rosy cheeks. Joel grabbed your hand, tugging you away from the mirror.

“Leave it,” he whispered. “Want everyone to see how filthy you are.”

“Seriously?” You gaped. 

Joel nodded his eyes, his eyes coasting over your body. 

“Seriously, babydoll. Need to show them you’re mine.”

“I think they already know,” you said pointedly. “I’m pretty sure I was loud enough to break the jukebox.”

He chuckled at your statement, tapping your ass and guiding you toward the door. Dropping his mouth to your ear, he softly kissed your neck before twisting the lock open.

“C’mon, darlin’. Let’s go home so y’can have your way with me.”

“I’m going to make you pay for this, cowboy,” you warned. “I'm going to have you on your knees begging for it.”

“I’ll happily worship you all night, babydoll,” he smiled, kissing your cheek before guiding you into the hall and out to his truck.

[angelribbon]

CNC LUKE WHERE HE JUST FUCKS YOU WHIKE YOU SLEEP

tw: somnophilia, pre-established relationship, smut, dark!luke

a/n: Luke and his somno kink 😵‍💫💨😵‍💫💨

it’s 11pm when he wakes up, already feeling the strain of his cock against his boxers. he’s felt it before-vivid nightmares equal even more evocative wet dreams. Eyebrows furrowing as he gets up, every step worsening the throb in his stomach. Curfew being 3 hours ago-you’re asleep, more than likely and he sees this, knowing that he should turn right back around to his cabin but can you blame him?

you’re right there, so pretty and soft, letting out quiet, contented hums as he watches you through the window. the sight of your plush lips against the silk pillows worsening his need for them around his cock. so he does it, hoisting himself through the window beside your bed as your face contorts into something confused.

He goes still.

When you’re face relaxes, he’s right back on you, knees creating creases in your sheets as he positions himself behind you. he can’t take it anymore,never being one to resist temptation.

And he’d never have the strength to refuse the invitation that you pose.

He hikes up your dress, revealing your bare ass as he lets out a hiss.

No panties.

You have to be trying to kill him. He lets out his cock, the brush of the cool air making it twitch as he begins to rut against you. It starts out slow and controlled.

He’s trying to not to wake you, at least be considerate.

“L-luke?”

The second he hears your hazy,voice-all inhibitions are thrown out of his head as he picks up his pace, pre cum trickling down onto your thighs.

“makin’ me a fuckin” mess, baby” he mumbles, eyes turning dark as he taps his dick against your glistening pussy. “couldn’t even sleep, was dreaming of your pretty, little cunt”

He gives your clit a light pinch as you let out a whine. “‘S just me yeah? gonna let me use that pretty hole of yours, angel ?”

You let out a muffled whimper when he pushes all the way in-and he takes it as confirmation .

“‘like you’re made for me-christ ”

His hand moves to your mouth, fingers prodding your lips as he resists the urge to gag you with them instead choosing to use his hand to stifle your moans-your eyes flicker at the movement and you subconsciously tense around him.

“Never knew my girl was such-such a slut”

His expression grows almost enamored at how your squeezing him-tense, as he thrusts into you, balls slapping against your ass at his relentless pace. Hot, searing pleasure makes its way up your spine-emitting a low, almost inaudible,squeal from you as he pinches your clit. Your constantly on the edge, slipping in and out of consciousness from his assault on your cervix, harsh-angry thrusts punctuating his words.

“quiet, can’t wake up your friends now?”

Hes so mean for it, knowing its almost impossible to keep silent with his pace.

Stars dance across your tunneled vision, white blurring into a little galaxy in your head as you feel the tensing of your core, as you tiptoe the line, knowing how close you are to slipping into that pure, visceral release. Another slap is all it takes.

“m-maybe you want them to see you like this, being used like my good fuckin’ you”

Your eyes roll back, and he fucks your hips right back on him with his tight grip on them. Even when the rope breaks, and you’re pushed under-thighs shaking in illicit euphoria as you leak around him, he doesn’t stop. Like some rabid animal, he takes you back in-then out again with his movements-his thoughts becoming scrambled, accentuated with primal, violent pushes and pulls before he’s slamming back in you again as tears gather in your eyes.

“shit, just me yeah? got you, sweet girl” he mutters, but it’s like he’s saying it to himself as all you hear is ringing as he slam’s into you once again.

“fuckfuckfuckfuck-“

He’s close, sloppy movements giving you a perfect indication, as he bites his lip to stop a moan from coming out as he cums, spilling his seed into you as he stops, making sure you’re all stuffed with his seed. he pulls out of you lazily, unbeknownst to your unconscious body as you fall right back into dreamscape. Pulling back down your dress, he gives you a soft kiss before disappearing just as he came, your bunk mates none the wiser.

[kenshiluvr]

pussy-drunk

kenshi takahashi, tomas vrbada, johnny cage (separate)/reader

summary: they can’t get enough of your cunt

tags: vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, crying/a little dacryphilia, pre-mk1 :3, aftercare

minors dni please

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

kenshi

kenshi hums softly beside you, feeling your fingers curl into his bicep. his inked fingers thrust in and out of your sopping cunt, your pants filling the darkness of your shared bedroom. he’s in the mood, but not for his own pleasure… for yours. the way your cunt squeezes his thick fingers, the way your thighs shake, he’s addicted to it. kenshi presses soft kisses to your cheek, whispering gentle words of encouragement. “c’mon, baby doll. gimme one more.” he whispers, voice raspy and and deep with tiredness. you whine, back arching off your side of the bed. “ken-“ you whimper, gasping as he tips you over the edge again, his fingers continuing to thrust into your cunt as you squirt around them; keeping up his fast pace just to hear you whine and keen. “ken, please..!” you beg, tears collecting on your lower lashes, body writhing with overstimulation. “shhh…” he whispers, kissing those pretty tears away. “god, you’re gorgeous.” he whispers, groaning softly as more of your juices thickly coat his fingers. “ken..!” you whine, feeling his lips kiss the tears away. “one more.” kenshi murmurs, propping himself up on his elbow, watching you gasp, watching your eyebrows knit together.

a loud, long whine escapes your lips, fingers digging into his tattooed arm, gasping and whining. you’re a mess beneath him, all because of his fingers… and he loves it. kenshi sighs, a smile on his face. “you’re so pretty, baby girl.” he mutters, pressing a long kiss to your cheek. “give me one more. just one more.” he whispers against your skin, keeping his face against your cheek as you sob with overstimulated pleasure. there’s no doubt your neighbours could hear your whines, he doesn’t care though. curling his fingers up, kenshi prods your g-spot, watching you come undone again. you cry out, sobbing and squirming beneath him. “shhh-shhh… that’s it, baby. isn’t that better?” kenshi croons, kissing your tears away. “that’s my good girl.” with that, he pulls his fingers from your abused cunt, licking his digits clean. “that’s my amazing girlfriend.” he whispers, kissing you gently. “shh… how about a bath before bed. get you all relaxed and cleaned up, hm?” kenshi smiles, getting up. lifting you into strong arms, he carries your shivering, sensitive body to the bathroom, ready to give you all the aftercare you deserve.

—

tomas

your boyfriend pants, face buried to your wet folds. he whines and whimpers with pleasure, moaning against your cunt as he laps at you like a hungry dog. tomas groans, nose nudging your clit occasionally, tongue thrusting in and out of your pussy, slurping and sucking. “please… please, moje láska. i need it.” he whines against your swollen pussy lips, his harsh tongue dragging up to your clit. his lips wrap around the bud, sucking desperately. “tommy-“ you whine and shiver, fingers curling into silver hair as he moans, the vibrations of it running straight through you as you gasp loudly. “more. more, prosím.” tomas pants against your fevered skin.

tongue diving back into your juicy cunt, your head falls back against the headboard, moaning loudly as he continues to eat you out. tomas mewls with neediness, panting against your pussy like a man in heat. his cock is hard and throbbing just from eating you out, precum leaking through his boxers. he’s twitching and sensitive, tip flushed red; pleasured just from licking your cunt. tomas moans, fingers digging into your soft hips, pulling you closer to his face. as you cum, tomas gasps and moans, lapping it all up. “yes- yes….” he sighs with pleasure, licking up all the juices that smear his lips and chin. he can’t get enough of your pretty pussy, and it seems he’s going to be between your plush thighs for a long time.

—

johnny

your boyfriend grunts, hips slamming into yours again, groaning into the crook of your neck. “that’s it, that’s it…” he pants, sultry voice thick like honey. “come on, baby… come on, baby- cum for me.” johnny growls out, his cock hammering into your cunt. your fingers curl into broad shoulders, scratching red lines down perfect skin. “mhm… that’s why i have a stunt-double.” johnny grins against your skin, listening to your borderline pornographic moans as he fucks you hard and fast on the plush sheets of his bed. sitting up, he grips your thighs, hips still fucking into yours. “mhm… so pretty.” he grins, watching his cock disappear into your sopping cunt.

he’d been fucking you for so long, made you cum so many times, that his cock had creamy rings wrapped around it, like a pretty coat of makeup. johnny groans. he was getting sensitive too, by now… but he couldn’t pull out now. “come on… one more.” he coaxes, calloused fingers moving between your soft thighs to rub your clit. “johnny!” you gasp, cumming around his thick cock. “mhm… that’s it, sugar.” johnny chuckles, moaning at the feeling of your sensitive walls spasming around his shaft. “that’s it. fuck, you’re beautiful.” johnny pants, hips hammering into yours. snapping a few pictures of you like this, all fucked out on his bed, he smiles. recording little snippets and taking pictures of how he fucks you, he knows full well he’d entertain himself with these little things when he’s away from you; probably when he’s in his dressing room, thinking of you.

“come on, sugar. surely you got more for me.” johnny chuckles, tossing his phone onto the pillow beside your head. “johnny..!” you moan out. “that’s the ticket.” your boyfriend croons, leaning down to suckle a mark onto your pretty throat. johnny leans up, eyes catching sight of a mirror nearby, winking at himself. your fingers grasp his jaw, bringing his eyes back down to you. “eyes on me, cage.” you murmur, nipping his lips as you moan. “of course, sugar.” johnny mutters, grinning against your lips as he speeds his hips up; fucking you hard and fast, just how you love it. he’d do anything for you.

[anantaru]

DAY 5 — APHRODISIACS

kinktober 2023. — masterlist | ao3

𖧡 — including — sampo, jing yuan

𖧡 — warnings — fem! reader, aphrodisiacs, lots of teasing, big men being sweet and content with you, fingering, handjob, very sweaty but cute

𖧡 — SAMPO

sampo finds himself entranced by the beauty of your eyes, and you can see it in the light of his mannerism when he, well— when his face starts glistening red, a kind of blushing that shows the real intentions of a human, a sort of compliment to the eyes and the delicate sweetness within his facial expression was like a chain reaction setting your blood on fire.

if only those particular emotions haven't been enhanced by the stimulant you swallowed together just a second ago.

sampo sighs across your cheeks while you're fondling around with the belt of his pants, his own grip on you dissolving of strength; he was either growing tired, which was unlikely, or the love potion was already in effect. you're for certain when you reach inside his pants to feel his erection throb on your palm, the twitch of his cock signaling you that sampo was on the verge of it, already— his girth hard and the slit glinting of his pre while you're stroking up and down the skin in slow thrusts.

"isn't that fun, baby?" you coo at him, closing your eyes before mouthing a wet spot on his neck, listening to sampo attempting to stabilize his breathing, yet how was he able to achieve that when you're rounding your hand around his erection in an unforgiving pace, desperately pressing closer into your hand until you're discerning an echo of small, hasty "please, please... more."

but, what you didn't know was that the usual confident and flashy man wouldn't let you take control of him that easily, and he tips a hand over to your thighs right after, while your legs— and that wasn't surprising to him at all, rubbed together for the life of them, thrusting up into nothing but air while you're fisting his cock to make him cum, almost tipping him over the edge of a tasteful climax when it was you who was suffering from not being touched and pleased.

but sampo, your sweet boyfriend, he has got you, okay? and his hand slips off your body before finding your wet core, in particular wrapping inside the hem of your pants before slipping his hand down, his mouth flooding with saliva at the trace of your liquids gushing on his digits. you're leaning back now, your hand working and becoming faster while one digit prods at your soaked slit, circling around your hole before letting himself naturally be engulfed into you.

by now, you're leaning your entire weight against sampo's broad chest, becoming tired and your poor head, it feels heavy on your shoulders when you're moving around, his sweet gaze lingering on your trembling skin that it hits him low in the gut, your pussy was so wet and easily effected by his fingers pressing into your sweet spots, quickly slipping another in to feel how you're stretching, becoming tighter and gushing of your slick.

there was nothing else to say, you're only whining, blindsided by the finely tuned electric shuffles on your core, clearly ignoring the side effects of the aphrodisiac wrecking havoc inside your frame as you slobber all around his digits, a direct similarity to the tightness of your own grip on his aching cock.

𖧡 — JING YUAN

oh, what a way with words jing yuan possessed;

the lightheadedness is only temporarily, i promise. and with a great sense of security embedded on his words, the man mutters and assures your bottled up worries before you're nodding your head all eager, quite willing to try out the love potion in his hand.

the general made a noise of satisfaction before placing the stimulant on top of your tongue, he's so excited he feels like he's about to jump out of his boots, groaning with anticipated pleasure when you close your mouth right after to swallow it down, all obedient for him, fluttering your lashes shyly— if only you knew that those reactions had his heart rushing under his ribcage, it was so sickly sweet of you, he could honestly just pepper you with kisses for eternity.

"how do you feel?" jing yuan murmurs against your parted lips craving for air, truly he was enraptured by your delicate movements, his thumb pressing just over your chin, forcing you to gaze up at him.

"i feel good, a little hot though." and you wrap your arms around his neck for stability before you feel how one of his hands snake down your body— your stomach to be more precise, as jing yuan quietly wiggles his hand in between your panties.

those mewls, your obscene sounding winces, he could drink in all your noises like a fine, old wine and be pleased by the feeling of becoming tipsy right afterwards, smirking all heavenly when you're pulling him closer before he ghosts his first digit over your slit, tapping on it— once, twice, just one more time to make it leak from the attention.

he can remember how you're always whining about how his cock was too big for you and that the scorching stretch on your hole was almost more pain than pleasure, yet he remembers to prep you before giving you the real deal, splitting your pussy when he leans in to go straight to your mouth, catching your lower lip in between his teeth before suckling on it.

at the second, once he adds another finger, you wince at the little burn in your core and jing yuan cannot help himself but groan into your mouth, the deep, rumbling tone vibrating across your body, leaving you no other choice but to lean forward and thaw yourself into his frame, humping his fingers almost as if in heat, your lips thrumming to catch up on air with your pussy prickling at his touch, the materials of your panties almost sheer from sweat when he realizes just how wetter you were tonight.

jing yuan pauses his hand to think for a moment, and you whine out weakly at the loss of his movements once he realizes that you might be able to take his dripping cock a little earlier tonight.

©2023 anantaru's kinktober do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[prttykittes]

staying anon for this bec i feel disgusting indulging in this.

i’m big on dark/dddne stuff and yet I feel terrible reading it so i’m kinda glad i found somewhere i can kindof have a place to express more extreme stuff.

anyways big sis beidou wants to be your first so right when you turn 18 she takes your virginity :3

or dad zhongli sees that your bf is not what he thinks a BF should be like to he takes him out and makes you his. i mean this is more of a possessiveness than actual NSFW. i dont know😭

Stoner kazuha roofies you (with prior consent tho w this one)

Diluc gives you too much to drink so he fucks you instead.

i have so much more.. and if i ever do come back i’ll be “:3 anon”

do what you want w any of these 💕

Woahh:0, there's alot so I tried my best to do everything blog, I won't shame anyone for liking these things kind of stuff!!<3

ෆ Big!sis Beidou, Stoner!Kazuha, dad!zhongli, diluc X Afab!Reader [you/your]

— Synopsis:: multiple characters x reader, yeah

CW. Incest(father/child, Sister/slibing), smokes, weed, roofies, consent(Kazuha), dubcon(for everyone else), possessive sex(zhongli), drunk sex(Diluc), age gaps, fingering, Dom!characters x Sub!reader, reader wears pants in kazuha's part

A/N :: Multiple sexy characters :4— written by a minor

[MASTERLIST] — ╰⁠(⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠´⁠꒳⁠`⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠)⁠╯ works in link!

BIG SIS! Beidou ! — She was so happy for you! It was your birthday! She got off her boat and went to your parents house! She saw you, you were still gorgeous as ever! She tears up, she was with for 18 years, her lovely slibing.... Oh how she dreamed about this day, she wants to be your first. So she's going to take you to her boat since you had always wanted to go on the water with her! She would spent time with you on there, just you and her. She celebrated your birthday, then she asked if you wanted to go on a ride. You said yes, now your both on her boat but instead of familial love it was filled with romantical love. She was half she was your first, she at first toying with your nipples. She went lower, she can hear you breathing heavily. Your eyes are hazy, your mind cloudy. Her hand was your sex, she rubbed it. She sees your lovely juices on her fingers, she can't wait to claim you as hers. Her sweet, lovely slibing all hers!

STONER!Kazhu— The smell of weed brunt your nose, he was smiling at you. His hand on his chin, his eyes were slightly red. He had his eyes on you, you sat down next to him. "{Yourname}" he says, you tilt your head in confusion. He gets up, his legs slightly trembling, he wraps his arms around you. "Can I?" He said, you knew what he had wanted to do. You never went this far in your friendship with him! You did have dreams and did wish for him to like you, you also had sexual dreams about him. You can't believe what your going to do with him, he smiles. He grabs some pills, he was going to roofie you but instead of doing it without consent. He has your consent, you close your eyes and take it. You gulp and your head feels weird, your eyes become hazy. He smiles and gently lies you on the bed. He is on-top of you, he lays soft and gentle bites on your neck. He continues to do while his kisses gets lower, you close your eyes and let yourself into the pleasure. He toys with your chest, rolling your nipples between his fingers. He pulls down your pants and touches your sex through your underwear. His finger going up and down, pressing on it. "Your so cute..." He mutters, he take soff your underwear and Lena's down and licks at your sex. He smiles when your sex twitches. He coats his fingers in your pre-cum, then he prods his finger at your hole. His fingers scissor your virgin hole, making you more open for dick. You can feel his clothed dick against your leg while he continues to finger you, after some minutes. He stops and and pulls down his pants so his underwear shows and he slides his underwear down and his dick jumps up. He aims his cock at your hole, your hole clenches around nothing as you anxiously wait for it. He grabs a condom and enters you, his hard dick inside of you. He moves once you get used of his size. The motion is lazy and tried but it still feels good. Your virgin hole is not a Virgin anymore!!!

DAD!ZHONGLI !— He doesn't deserve his sweet baby! He stares at you and your boyfriend, he isn't a boyfriend. His boyfriend ideals for you are something like him!! He angrily glares and judges your boyfriend from afar. He can't believe that you chose someone that is trash, he gets so mad that he gets rid of your boyfriend... Oh I wonder how he got so bloody and why he is covered in blood.. don't worry it's not his!!don't worry baby, no need to worry about anything~ he comforts you after you find out your boyfriend is dead, shhh.... You still have him, your daddy is always here for you!! He won't leave you, he is going to make you his, not like you weren't his from the start! His kisses start form your temple to near your lips, his hands on your thigh to inner thighs. You sniff as you lean into his touch, just enjoy his touches. he slips his hand into your pajamas pants, touching your underwear. He continues to kiss your neck, wanting to mark you with his kisses and his touches. His fingers touch your sex and he slips his hand into your underwear, he smiles as he can feel your sex being wet. He pleasures you with his touches, he can't wait to claim you for his own. Emptying his seed inside of you!

DILUC !— He watches you, you weren't this drink from the start but you know... Things change, he continues to give you more. You were worried about the drinks because you wouldn't have enough to pay but you don't care anymore. Your drunken state, it exitces him but it's only with you. He gives you two more drinks and you drink it up fast like you want to please him... Your flustered face makes him want to kiss you and fuck your face but he can't bring himself to do so~ you let out hiccups and you lay your head on the table. He cleans the empty cups and gives you one more, you grab it weakly as you managed to drink it. You rant to him about annoying people and troubles in your life, he smiles as he listens to you. Your face still on the table, your hands are in a fist but then it goes limp. He hears soft snores from you, he walks around and rubs your hips. He blows in your ear, you still don't wake up. Your body is asleep and he could take advantage of it. He groans while he moves you over to more of a comfortable spot. He takes off your lower clothing and slides down your underwear. He sticks his finger in a cup as it is soaked with the alcohol, he pushes inside of you. Your loose and not tight, your whole body being loose. He kisses your forehead and continues to finger your hole, he lets out a grunt. His dick is really hard, he pulls out his cock and aims it at your hole. He can't wait anymore, he spits on his palm and rubs it on his dick. It's unsanitary but whatever because he is going to be inside of you!! His dick enters you, he lets out a groan, he moves his hips. It feels so good, he should do this more often to you until he gains courage to ask you out!!

[carbonfiction]

cross to bare

Summary: A continuation of line to cross. This time its you who catches Logan in a compromising position; Behind the safely locked door of your bathroom- or so he thinks. After your last encounter you feel its only fair to return the favor.. right?

Warnings: 18+ SMUT, male masturbation/caught masturbating, blow jobs/deep throating?, mentions of bodily fluids (spit and pre/cum) dirty talk, teasing?, pretty much just giving DBF!Oldman!Logan nice sloppy head.. (also known as the dreammm)

Masterlist part 1 Words: 2K (i may have gotten fractionally carried away with how bad i wanna give that old man head.. oops?)

"Well would ya look at this.." you giggle playfully as you stand against the bathroom door; little metal hairpin in hand as you wiggle it mockingly towards him.

You watch as logan huffs but he doesn't scramble, doesn't panic the way you had. His movements do slow however until they cease to a stop with a squeeze to his flushed tip; a hand still wrapped around his leaking cock while the other rests on the wall ahead of him.

"Think your real funny huh?" he pants breathlessly. Groaning quiet from the depth of his chest as his thick fingers hastily tuck himself back into his briefs; the bulge sitting heavy and still uncomfortably hard under his open slacks, shamelessly attracting your eyes.

You nod in response, a mischievous grin spreading over your lips and Logan watches as you pad through the doorway. The hairpin slipping back into your hair as you turn to relock the door.

His uneven breaths fill the echoing bathroom, pulse pounding in his ears as you saunter further in. He watches intently as you situate yourself on the counter in front of the mirror; and Its at this point he realizes what your playing at by breaking in, by catching him out like this.

He doesn't need to find your eyes to see the hunger that radiates from you. Doesn't need to hear your pulse, smell your arousal burning up at the sight of him. Logan thinks he knows exactly what your game is and it draws an assured smirk to his lips.

"Somethin i can help you with here babydoll?" he questions, gesturing between you both with a low rumble in his throat, gazing up your body.

"No-pe" you draw the word out, applying extra pronunciation to the 'p' as you exaggeratedly shake your head for what he thinks is good measure.

Logan chuckles, deeply amused by whatever plan you think your executing. it still has his cock throbbing in its confines at your gaze; but he's quick and ready to throw you off track.

"tell me" he mutters, "you still fuckin those fake cocks up in your room when you think no ones home sweetheart?”

The broadness of his question pinks your cheeks, the memory of how he'd fucked you to tears with your dildo filling your head for the umpteenth time. Logan can see the moment it flashes through your mind, how your lip dents between your teeth, legs closing tight just like the moment he'd found you.

He said it as a jab, a tasteless mock, but In truth its not like that day stopped being on either of your minds since.

Yet shaking off the delicious memory with as much confidence as you can muster you square your shoulders again. “Mhm, got a new one.. vibrates." you release your lip, a sparkle in your eyes as you look him head to toe. he just nods, eyes dark as he digests your answer, before your gaze connects with the bulge of him once more. "Anyway, looks like your still fuckin your fist too old man”

Logan throws his head back, a deep chuckle echoing around you both and he watches the way you think you've won. When he steps closer, he can practically see the confidence that rests heavy above your shoulders. Although, as always, he's ready to test its integrity, poke and prod until it has you snapping back.

He's closer now, rough hands finding your covered thighs, pushing them open to stand between them as he tuts disapproving. “Less’a that babydoll"

Logans broad torso bends forward, salt and pepper scraping at your neck. he feels your fingers clutch at his shoulders, tips pressing tight into the fabric of his shirt.

His head dips closer, lips resting just under your left ear. You gasp, breath stuttering in your chest at the feeling of his smirk pressing against your skin and you feel his next words before you hear them. "think I recall you begging this Oldman to get you off not so long ago”

There's absolutely no use trying to muffle the little needy sound that builds in your chest.

Logan smirks against your neck, inhaling your perfume as he presses a single scratchy kiss to your skin before pulling back to face you once more.

When he finds your eyes your already looking at him, a fire burning so brightly that it takes him by a flicker of surprise. He steps away, just a fraction, evaluating his next move but you immediately follow. Scooting yourself forward until your socked feet hit the tiled floor.

You walk him back so he's standing against the wall. Neither of you move for a moment, just looking each other over a minute more, until its you that shifts.

You drop to your knees in front of him, heart drumming steady in your ears as your left hand traces up his black slacks.

"Should let me help" you murmur, looking up at him as you find his open zipper with ease. Tugging the fabric down until they pool around his ankles; open belt clinking as it connects with tile. "S’only fair right..”

Logan inhales sharply, cock twitching at the feeling of your nails dragging across the haired expanse of his thigh, your lips pressing feather light on the scared skin.

"So.." He feels you breathe against his covered length, feels you mumble your next words against him over the damp fabric; Inhaling the heady scent of him that's already leaking though the fabric. "Gonna let me suck your cock Logan?"

The guttural groan that falls from him, a sound so rough and ragged, drenches your panties as his rough hand finds home in your hair. Powerless to resist the look in your eyes; the smell of you in the air.

“yeah babydoll" he breathes, adams apple bobbing. "like you said, s’only fair”

And with that confirmed you drag his briefs down his legs. His thick cock bobs hard and flushed in front of you; leaking tip slapping against his belly button as it springs free. The motion has shiny droplets of precum slathering against his skin.

You waste no time in tasting him however, plush lips coming up to the toned expanse of his lower stomach. The hair that sprouts across his skin tickles your face as you plant mouthy pecks- almost all tongue- lapping at the pre covered skin of logan's abdomen to the heavy base of his cock.

A growl boils in logans throat at the feeling, his grip tightening the pull on your scalp as you drop back on your heels to lick at his flushed tip.

You smile as your eyes meet his, wet tongue lolling out to cushion the underside of his length as you bob back and forth. The tugged grip on your hair grounding. Your cheeks hollowing; the suction of your mouth making logans cock leak needily.

The slow, spit stricken rocks of your mouth feel good, but its not enough. Logan knows it and hell do you know it- you didn't break your way in just to lazily lick at his cock like this. So you pull off with a wet pop, still licking at his slit.

"What was it you said to me? 'wanna fuck a plastic cock you've gotta at least do it properly?'." you recall, teasing a grin up at him between your lashes as you move to lap your tongue wetly against his balls until they sit sloppy against you.

You rest your hands against his thighs and the goading look you give him has him grunting; aching hips bucking forward of their own accord. "c'mon Logan, take your own advice and do it properly. Fuck my mouth like you mean it. I can take it and you know it”

Logan looks down at you then, his large free hand cupping your hollowed cheek almost lovingly as you suck him back in; enveloping him tip to base in warmth.

You even suppress a gag of surprise as his hips buck, pushing the thick head of himself past the back of your mouth, down your throat.

“God, the mouth on you babydoll" he groans, hips picking up a steady pace as he starts fucking his cock down your throat. "s’fuckin filthy, your daddy would be ashamed.”

Spit coats your chin, eyes streaming, as lewd 'Gluck Gluck Gluck's' echo around the bathroom. Logans full balls plapping heavy against you with each cant of his hips.

But Jesus fuckkk do you look a picture each time logan makes eye contact with you. Deep down he knows he shouldn't of made you cum that time up in your room and he certainly shouldn't have his cock down your throat right now; it was- is- wrong considering his relationship with your father. Yet he cant find himself to care when you look at him the way you do; the sweet smell of arousal in the air tangling with your perfume. It pushes the growing throb of his orgasm closer, feeling his balls tighten with each thrust.

"Your one to talk" you choke, the words still muffled around the head of his cock as you pull back to breathe for a moment; nails digging harder into the haired flesh of his thighs. "Feels good?”

You don't even give him a moment to respond, sheathing him back into the wet warmth of your throat. so deep he can see the bulge of himself half way down your neck. Logan groans, practically yelping out a swear at the sight. “Y- yeah, shit princess, 'm c-close"

You let him fuck himself headfirst into his impending orgasm, taking every harsh buck and thrust without a whimper of complaint. His weeping cock hammering at the back of your throat, tongue dragging along the underside vein so deliciously Logan's thighs begin to gently tremble below your fingers.

"Fuck fuck fuckkkk..just like that" he jolts, eyes rolling back into his head as he bends at the waist until your head is trapped by his lower abdomen. His head lowers, planting soft kisses to your hairline as he grunts "good girl, G-gonna make me cum babydoll"

and Its then, within another one, two, three uncontrolled thrusts that he growls, primal and deep, grumbling out in pleasure. His balls rising and dropping in pleasure as they press to your chin.

Your throat greedily swallows around him as you're forced to take him to full depth. Musky cum fills your senses, heady and thick as the white ropes paint your throat like honey on a spoon.

"Christ, you tryna kill an old man huh?” he pants heavily, pulling his softing length back from the depths with a sloppy pop. you lick over the sensitive head, cleaning him up until he's hissing.

Silently then, you help him re dress; once he's all completely oversensitive and spent. Its almost intimate, romantic- you tucking him back in and buttoning up his slacks like you hadn't just taken and swallowed his soul down your throat.

When he's presentable again you giggle at him again, girlish and like the devil you are as you shift to stand. A hoarse whimper falls from your lips involuntarily as the drenched gusset of your panties slip across your lower lips. Aroused from the roughness of his touch. You know logan can smell it, the drenching slick leaking from your empty hole, but still you rekindle your restraint, a hand rubbing over your spit stricken mouth and chin as you turn towards the door.

“hopefully not this time.. got other things I wanna do to that cock first..” you call back, hand on the doorknob as you cast your gaze back to him and then the crotch of his freshly fixed slacks.

"S'that right?" he smirks, breath coming in short bursts as his lungs crackle and heave to catch up- his legs still shaking with a soft tremor as he leans his weight against the counter. You'd made him cum like a girl- like you- and the thought turns him on more than he'd like to admit.

"Mhm" you hum in confirmation, shooting a final bright grin his way as you leave- lashes still a little damp from the tears. "Cya around.. Oldman"

annnnnd thats it!! hopefully it lives up to all the wonderful love part 1 got bc i realllly enjoyed creating this one! (im probably even open to a part 3 closer for these if thats what the poeple want!) lemme know whatcha think <333

[starboye]

starring: matt sturniolo x male reader

request: Reader was visiting the triplets house to watch a movie. When matt gets a bit worked up, reader notices and wants to help him take care of it.whispering sweet names (amor, corazon, slut, esc) while reader rides him

warnings: smut, cursing, unprotected sex, sub!matt

you and matt hadn't seen each other in a while due to some business stuff you both had going on but once you had some time to waste and he did to, and plus his brothers were gonna be out of the house he invited you over to watch a movie and you quickly agreed to it.

now here you were cuddle into matts arm as you both watched some movie, your hand slowly rubbing his thigh, matt glaring down at how your hand is so close to his dick, just imagining you stroking his dick for him has a tent growing in his pants catching your eyes.

"well what do we have here" you say moving your hand to graze over his clothed cock making it twitch "is that the remote in your pants or are you just happy to see me" you tease "i really wanna fuck you" matt shudders turning his head to kiss you.

"then that's all you had to say matty" you smirk taking off your pants and underwear before movie to straddle his lap, resting your ass just above his crotch as you make out with him deeply, his hands moving to run up your shirt and feel your warm body.

"fuck you feel so good" he says as his fingers prod at your hole "you're so desperate for this ass huh" you ask looking at his face, eyes shut close as his hands rub you and head thrown back on the couch "mhm" he whimpers lifting his head to look at your pretty face while you pull his pants down.

now resting around his thighs you pull his aching dick out, already leaking some pre cum which you wipe off with you finger and lick making matt whine, the sight of it making him even hornier "please i need it" matt whimpers leaning into a messy kiss, his tongue fighting for dominance.

"fine how could i resist such a cute face" you chuckle and lift over him and lower yourself onto his dick, as soon at the tip slides in matt's a moaning mess, gripping the cushion of the couch to not pull you all the way down on his dick, but after what felt like hours of torture you fully sink onto him making him let out a shaky moan.

"ngh fuck you're so tight" matt breathes "and you're so fucking big" you moan feeling matts split your warm walls apart before you begin bouncing up and down in matts lap slowly but with a move from his hand that squeezes your hips and moves you quicker onto his dick.

silently signaling to go faster and you understand and quicken your moves, your hands gripping onto matts legs for stability "i love you so much" matt whimpers kissing your neck, ridding with hickeys "i love you to matt" you say kissing his fluffy curls.

you let out a sharp gasp as you feel matt grab your waist and begin controlling you moves, plopping you up and down on him, wanting to feel more of your warmth around him, you rest your head into his chest as he plunges into you.

"matt..." you say "mhm baby" he coos sweetly as if he isn't fucking you on his cock "cum in me" you beg squeezing around him, trying to milk him for all his arousal "fuck" he mutter with a low breath feeling you squeeze him "okay baby" he nods dropping you on him with more force.

you moan into his chest as you feel the stinging in your ass "mm shittt" he groans as he cums in you, filling you up nice and well for him, you both let out labored pants as you regain sense "well this was a fun movie date" matt says making you chuckle and cuddle into him as he caressed your back lovingly.

taglist: @mailmango @spermeboy @ghostking4m @gayaristocrat @addictedtomalepits @staarb0y @crispysoup318 @its-ares @gargoylesworld09 @kadenvatsune

©starboye productions

[xstarsmvxz]

sub spider men?

𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑-𝐌𝐄𝐍 ❥

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐒 > Miguel O’hara, aged up! e1610 Miles, aged up! e42 Miles & Hobie Brown

𖦹 i just wanna say that I love getting requests, even if they’re simple and small they really help me have motivation to write <3

𝐌𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐎’𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀 ➬

Fuck, this man may just be one of the most gentle giants ever when it comes to being a sub. His biceps are flexing behind him, his veins bulging out as his hands stay tied to the head board. One minute, his girthy cock is being pumped by your hand and the next it’s twitching and nearly turning purple, desperate to cum as you gently tease the tip with your thumb. His legs are kicking and squirming as he lets out a long whine, his voice cracking as you cup his sack and gently massage. Your other hand finally grabs the base of his cock, slightly squeezing as you lick his sensitive tip, causing him to let out a lewd moan at the sensation.The rest of the night was filled with Miguel’s desperate voice, begging you to let him cum.

aged up! 𝐞𝟏𝟔𝟏𝟎 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒 ➬

Remember in my last post when I said that he was a virgin? Well yeah, this guy is definitely a virgin. He’s always been a sub, never a dom.. but to be honest, he secretly likes it that way. He likes the way you ride his cock so smoothly, so confidently, so experienced.. it always causes a jealous feeling to arise in his chest whenever he thinks of you with any other man, whenever he thinks of the fact that you’ve ridden another man just like how you ride him. But strangely enough, he enjoys it. The way your tight cunt professionally squeezes around his length perfectly as your thighs crush his waist. The way you smirk and tauntingly laugh at the whimpers and moans that leave his mouth. Even when he tries to suppress it, you always find a way to get him to let out a sweet moan or whine, either purposely clenching around him or muttering sweet, sexy words into his ear before moving to kiss his sensitive neck.

aged up! 𝐞𝟒𝟐 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒 ➬

Bro is for sure a a switch, usually a dom but not for tonight. No, tonight you have him pinned against your bedroom wall, running one of your hands all over his chest, your fingers gliding over his nipple as the two of you lustfully kiss. He’s letting out breathy moans into the kiss, his brows furrowed as your other hand every so gently pumps his cock, the tip of your pointer finger prodding at his slit before you break the kiss, getting onto your knees in front of him as he lets out a small whimper at the sight. Your perky nipples and plump thighs look so good to him right now as you give the side of his cock small kitten licks, moving to give his tip a wet kiss, your saliva mixing with his leaking pre-cum. His hands instinctively move to grab a fistful of your hair before you roughly grab his wrists to stop him, moving his hands away as you slowly take his whole length into your mouth, gripping what you can’t fit with your free hand as you continue to hold one of his. You nearly gag as his tip hits the back of your throat, letting out a groan at the sweet taste of his cock. His eyes are brimming with tears as he searched for something to grip, letting out a broken moan at the feeling of his tip hitting the back of your throat.

𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍 ➬

Even as a sub, Hobie is still extremely cocky. He’s praising you as you ride his cock, attempting to take control of the situation. It honestly surprised him when you switched the position from military to cowgirl, when you went from subby bottom to dominant top, it wasn’t at all like you. He smirks and toys with his lip piercing as you weakly grind your hips against his, still tired from your previous orgasms, but you don’t stop your movements at all, no… you grind and bounce on his huge dick as if your life depended on it, letting out breathy moans as Hobie grabs your hips, shamelessly letting out groans and whimpers of his own as your tight cunt sucks him in. It didn’t take long for the two of you to reach your climaxes. Hobie let’s out a long groan as he shoots long ropes of cum into you, pulling your body down as he shoves his face into your breasts, whether they’re big or small- they’re still his favourite thing about you.

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

i couldn't stand you - m. bunting

summary: (slow burn enemies to frenemies to friends etc / f!reader x mb) three years: arguments, truces, break-ups, moving houses...michael bunting wasn't nearly as irritating as you'd initially expected.

warnings: swearing, consumption of alcohol, reader is a pens fan, scenes with eating involved, reader is a chef, I PROMISE THE WRITING GETS BETTER THE MORE YOU READ (toronto to carolina sequence my fave <3), sid being an obliviously adorable cockblocker, angst/pining, fluff, the ending is so unfinished and doesn't do the 20k justice at all...(i lost inspiration)(but i might edit it in the future/do an alternate ending)

a/n: i got inspiration from this from that tom welling hug in cheaper by the dozen

In all honesty, you hadn’t really been paying much attention to Ellis, which kind of defeated the entire purpose of even stepping into the bar. Taylor had wanted you to meet her new boyfriend, and it had barely taken all of five minutes of being in his presence to deduce that he was not only a nice guy, but clearly liked her a lot, was funny, the whole works, etc, etc. Only, your attention had been (completely against your will) stolen by the…idiot sitting next to you.

You didn’t really know what else to call him. An impatient dick? That was also fitting. A bad driver? There wasn’t a 100% certainty in that statement, but it felt fitting given the incident from earlier that morning.

Nevertheless, when you’d clocked each other, the only empty space being that on the bench right next to him, there was no doubt he recognised you too. He’d rolled his eyes and scoffed into his beer, and you’d sat down rather aggressively and dropped your bag on the floor, downright refusing to look at him.

Hence, the intervening from Ellis, with his polite smile and countenance, a complete contrast to aforementioned impatient dick sitting on your left. Taylor had raised a brow, a silent question on her face but you’d simply shaken your head and accepted the cocktail she’d already ordered with a grateful smile.

“I’m confused.” Ellis muttered, leaning his head on one hand, eyes darting confusedly between you and Michael Bunting, Maple Leafs player apparently, “Do you two know each other?”

You shook your head, sipping your cocktail. Judging from the silence next to you, Micheal had done the same thing, neither of you too eager to explain anything. It wouldn’t have been a big deal. In fact, if the subject hadn't been poked and prodded further, you’d have probably been fine with it, maybe even accepted the fact that you were going to have to spend however many hours with him for the sake of your friends. 

Who knew? Maybe you’d have eventually gotten past this pre-established dislike for one another, but Taylor was never really one for ignoring gossip when it was sitting in front of her – a trait that you rather found entertaining until you were the victim.

“What, so it’s dislike at first sight, or something?” She asked, eyeing the two of you with more intrigue than you were comfortable with.

In fact, her eyes seemed to shimmer like a greedy shark when you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, briefly glancing at the man on your left.

He was rolling his eyes. And you didn’t care to even guess if it was at you or if it was at Taylor, but with the morning you’d had – because of him – you turned back to her with more conviction this time.

“Pretty much, yeah.” You shrugged.

Taylor scoffed in disbelief, sharing a look with Ellis, “Why?”

“Because she’s a shit driver.” 

You gaped, head snapping to Michael with appal. He was frowning in a way that just exuded arrogance. He actually thought he was right – the nerve.

“I am not–”

“Oh, yes you are.”

“The traffic in front of me was at a complete standstill, what was I supposed to do–”

“They were moving–”

“Oh, please. You were just in a rush because someone clearly forgot to set an alarm this morning–”

“I was not in a rush–”

“Then what was the reason for honking at me?”

“You flipped me a birdie!”

“You honked for no reason – who even does that?”

“You flipped me a fucking birdie!”

“After you honked!”

“You were too slow, you weren’t even looking at the road.”

“Yeah, because God forbid I skip a song in a traffic jam.”

He scowled, but said nothing else, sharing a rather irritated glance with Ellis across from him.

You, however, were a little different: sure, your jaw was ticking, your pulse was higher than usual from his stress-inducing attitude, but the first thing you did was share a wide-eyed glance with Taylor, whose jaw had dropped. You rarely fought with people, let alone in public spaces. In fact, the last time you’d bickered like that was when you and Taylor were little and arguing over who got to marry which celebrity from the magazine in make-believe play – but that was exactly all it had been: make-believe.

This was real life, and when you argue like that in real life, people tend to stare. You could feel strangers’ eyes boring into the side of your face and your cheeks flamed against your will. Add that onto the fact that Ellis – who you’d never met before, and were intent on setting a good first impression – had just witnessed you argue with his best friend? You were nothing short of mortified.

“Right.” Ellis sighed, scratching the back of his head, and all three pairs of remaining eyes sitting at the table zipped to him for some form of guidance as to what to do next, “So, now that everyone’s introduced…another round?”

There were muted expressions of agreements, and even just looking at Taylor, you could tell that she was about to slip out and join Ellis at the bar, even after your pleading.

You watched her go sadly, your hands tucked under your thighs, trying desperately to ignore the other presence. You weren’t sure how you’d feel even looking at him – didn’t know if you could. Not only for the embarrassment, but for the sheer…eugh of having to look at him.

Blue eyes, brown hair – not too dark. Apart from that, your mind was drawing a blank.

He cleared his throat. You ignored it.

“What’re your first thoughts on Ellis for Taylor, then?” He mumbled, half-heartedly trying to engage in conversation, and it was because you knew he was only doing it to try and ease some of the tension for Ellis that you turned to face him.

The flare of irritation that presented itself felt like an allergic reaction to simply looking at him, but you swallowed, trying to paste on a nonchalant expression. You could do this. You just had to stare at the blank spot on the wood just a little bit off from his face.

Only, he seemed to take your lack of expression and interest as something else, because he tilted his head towards you fractionally, a rather condescending look on his face. 

“Your instincts?” 

Instincts? You had instincts – not necessarily about Ellis and what it was Michael was asking about, but you had them. And maybe it was the patronising glare, maybe it was the day’s frustration, maybe you were just tired and needed someone to take it out on, but you ignored his context for the question.

“My instincts?” You repeated, and he nodded, eyes squinting slightly, “That you’re full of shit.”

***

Usually you’d have no issue avoiding Michael when both of your presences were dubbed mandatory to these kinds of things: there was space, there were people – no reason to talk or even look in each other’s directions.

Only, this time, Ellis’s birthday party, somehow the invitation had been extended to you and the get-together was small. Intimate. Maybe seven people in total, not including Ellis himself. And because Ellis was Ellis, a party meant drunk games – and if not drunk, certainly alcohol-induced.

And to your bitter astonishment, the only two people left without split-second partners for a rough game of charades was…you and Michael. In theory, it shouldn’t have been much of a shock: it was inevitable for Ellis and Taylor to pair up together, and you were Taylor’s plus one (even though Ellis had told you himself he wanted you there), and it had become increasingly obvious throughout the evening that Michael didn’t know anyone but Ellis and Taylor; everyone else seemed to have gone to school together and jumped into pairs pretty quickly.

Needless to say, when you’d looked around the room and locked eyes with an equally disgruntled Michael, the two of you hadn’t broken eye contact as you’d downed whatever was remaining in your glasses and immediately reached for a refill.

Yet, for all your displeasure in the pairing, there was an odd satisfaction in knowing that you’d both absolutely thrashed the living daylights out of everyone else. It scratched a competitive itch inside of you, and against your will, you felt yourself softening up to him. His grin had become less irritatingly smug when he was directing it at you after a speedy guess, and his failure to hide his equally competitive edge through the half-smirks directed at his lap when other couples failed were more endearing than grating.

(You just blamed the alcohol.)

Although, probably just as shocking as that turn of events, Taylor and Ellis were awful at charades. They’d gotten one word right in the allotted time, and although they’d tried to hide it, no one was completely ignorant to their harsh whisperings to each other and pointed gestures. Or the confused glances they seemed to direct straight towards you and Michael, who, unlike everyone else, were sitting side by side on the carpet, a sizable distance between each other and managing to neither look or speak apart from when it was your turn.

It was remarkable, really, that two strangers could guess each other’s frantic motions easier than people who knew each other in arguably the most intimate ways. It felt like a test of compatibility, and Ellis and Taylor knew they were failing – hence, in your head, said compatibility test was clearly false. Michael was living, breathing proof of that.

“And Team We Don’t Care Just Pick Whatever wins.” Taylor announced, glancing direly at the small scrap of paper that she’d been documenting the scores on, “Ten points clear from the runners-up.”

You raised your brows, sighing despondently at your glass because you weren’t quite sure you could look Taylor in the eye without feeling some form of inexplicable guilt. You, however, wanted to savour this moment of triumph.

And what better way to celebrate than to pour yourself another glass?

The kitchen was quiet, dirty dishes stacked near and in the sink, along with a plethora of glasses and bottles from where people had decided to mix their drinks. It was quieter and cooler, too: a place to rest and breathe for a second. Only, as soon as the first sip touched your mouth, you had to stifle a yawn, your eyes suddenly dry and heavy. 

Half past twelve.

“You leavin’?” 

You turned your head to see Michael standing in the doorway, clearly having just come back from the bathroom and with a rather blank look on his face. At your attention, however, he seemed to force his mouth into a slither of a smile, looking mightily uncomfortable under your gaze.

His eyes quickly dropped, momentarily drifting to your glass, a little hesitantly.

“Might do. You?”

You almost wanted to wince at the awkwardness emanating in the atmosphere. It must be the first time you’d ever willingly engaged in a conversation with each other – let alone by yourselves. The silence in the room seemed to intensify that realisation that there was no Taylor or Ellis to act as a buffer, but Michael looked remarkably calm and unbothered by that knowledge. In fact, at your question he raised his brows as though shocked you’d reciprocated the conversation and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards.

“Yeah, I’m pretty tired.”

There was nothing particularly to say to that, so you just nodded, standing by the counter. He looked as if he wanted to say something: his hands were tapping against his jean-clad thighs and he kept glancing at you and then away, something playing on his features.

“You okay?” You found yourself asking, much to his surprise.

“Yeah, I just…” He stepped closer, throwing a careful glance back towards the open door, “Has Taylor talked to you about me?”

You blinked, tilting your head.

She had, many times on many different occasions and with a variety of different tones. Just off the top of your head you could list that time you’d gone over to hers for a movie night and she’d softly suggested that you try to get along with him; that one time she’d caught you pulling a rather put-off facial expression after he’d said something questionable; that one time she must have been a second away from grabbing you by the shoulders; eventually she’d given up, but that was after the basketball incident when you’d thrown the ball a little too harshly at him and winded him in the park. 

The ignoring each other thing worked – so why did you find yourself beginning to tolerate his presence? After all this time, surely, nothing would change so suddenly?

“Yeah.” You admitted, rather guiltily. In your defence, you’d tried to get along with him, but there was something about your personalities that clashed in the wrongest of ways. Both Taylor and Ellis had openly observed the two of you were pretty similar (you were a little offended by that statement) and would probably get along if you both put your pride aside, “Has Ellis…” You trailed off, watching him carefully.

He nodded, “Oh, yeah. He’s made a few bold statements about it, I’ll say that.” He huffed a bitter laugh, “But I was thinking–”

You pulled a face and he looked about ready to stop talking altogether, until he sighed, “Maybe we should just call a truce, or something? A fresh start, if not for us, for them. They seem pretty stable and if they’re for the long-term, then I think it’d be easier if we just agreed to get along, or at least pretend.”

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, or maybe it was because tonight you’d found him a lot more tolerable than you usually would, but you nodded. And to that, he just blinked.

“Really?” He asked, almost recoiling in reaction.

“Yeah.” You shrugged, “Under one condition though.”

His face dropped – the almost triumphant smile that he’d nearly allowed himself to display had vanished completely in replacement for something harsher, more annoyed. His jaw had clenched and the hand he’d placed on the counter seemed to tap with more aggravation as he rolled his eyes in resignation, “And what would that be?” He asked, sounding rather like he already had an idea as to what it was.

“Just admit I’m not a bad driver.” You reasoned.

“Oh, I thought you were gonna…Nevermind.” He shook his head, holding his hand out for you to shake, “You’re not a bad driver.”

“Thanks.” Then, “Are you Michael or do you have any nicknames instead?”

There was a brief pause, and he looked at you like you were an alien, “Why?”

“I don’t know, Michael – you don’t look like a ‘Michael’, that’s all.”

“And what does a ‘Michael’ look like?”

“Probably twenty-thirty years older, balding–”

“Wow.”

“Is that a no?”

He seemed to think about it for a moment, “Purely because you don’t like it, no, I don’t have any nicknames. I’d rather you called me Michael.”

“Nice one. But when we’re in a public space and I yell your name, there’s gonna be at least three older, balding guys turning to look at me–”

“You’re hilarious.”

“Well, one of us has to be.”

Neither of you seemed to remember you were still holding hands.

***

One thing you never thought you’d be doing in your near future, was packing all of your makeup and three outfit choices and driving to Ellis’s place to have a conversation with Taylor. To be honest, there was a small part of you that was a little bit aggravated that to talk to your best friend you had to drive twenty minutes and risk missing packing something for the date you needed help with, especially seeing as though said date was in forty-five minutes.

Although, you did have time to reason with yourself in the car, the usual stuff: she could have just said no to helping you when you called her in a frustrated panic; the last-minute pep talk was probably going to make up for any residual irritation; on the bright side, though, at least Ellis’s apartment was closer to the date location than your own. 

You knew you’d feel better once you got there – only…

“You have got to be kidding me.” You breathed a solemn laugh, head lolling backwards and cheeks flaming at the sight before you.

Michael Bunting standing in the doorway with a wicked grin on his face, each pore practically oozing mirth at your current situation, eating an apple. And sure, you’d agreed to get along for the sake of your friends, but you had no idea that would mean him being privy to your moments – nor did it mean you were particularly pleased to see him at such a dire time.

“Hello, sweetheart. Heard you were stuck?” He tilted his head, pouting in your direction, and you didn’t miss the way his attention zipped curiously to the backpack over your shoulder and the garment bags slung over your arm.

“Do you really not have anything better to do on a Friday night other than third-wheel your best friend and his girlfriend?” You asked, smiling flatly and walking through the door when he opened it further.

He shook his head, crunching a bite, and you stood in the hallway, patience ticking away by the second as you waited for him to finish eating to speak. There were voices drifting down the corridor, and you turned your head to see shadows and flickers of light in the other room, Taylor clearly on her way – thank fuck.

“I have a game tomorrow, gotta have a tame night.” He muttered, reaching out a hand to touch the soft plastic covering of your garment bag, “And I’ll tell you one thing, I am so glad I get to witness this.”

You pulled a face, “Ha ha.”

“I can already tell you’re gonna make my fucking night, so I’m gonna just thank you in advance–”

“Hey, stop psyching her out.” Taylor appeared, a crease between her brows that clearly hadn’t materialised at his words alone, and for a split-second, you and Michael shared a worried glance, any previous teasing evaporating along with it.

He nodded easily, holding his hands up in surrender and disappearing into the living room, his footsteps slow and leisurely as though he was hoping to overhear a snippet more, but before you could even spit out a greeting of your own, Taylor had dragged you into Ellis’s bedroom and locked the door – the man himself nowhere to be seen.

“Is everything okay?”

Taylor spun on her heel, flashing you an urgent glance, apparently brushing off your question of concern, “I should be asking you that.”

“Oh, I’m fine–”

She shot you a look of disbelief.

“Just nervous, I guess. And I can’t decide what to wear, so I brought some stuff.”

In the other room, Michael was sitting on the sofa, apple half-eaten and trying to ignore the rather violent knee shaking Ellis was doing by tuning into the faint sound of voices from the bedroom that could still be heard over the TV. He knew he should probably be focused on his best friend – who was anything but subtle in trying to convey the fact that he was clearly irked by something – but he also knew that Ellis would talk when Ellis wanted to talk.

He was also kind of curious as to what had gotten you in such a pickle: he knew you were about to go on a date (first, he assumed), but why the sudden panic? You’d turned up armed with a Hannah Montana-type level of hair, costumes and makeup stuff and he’d just eyed it all a little bit confused. 

He was very aware of the fact that you were pretty – he’d seen you with the barest amount of makeup on (he assumed, he actually had no idea if you did) and in a pair of sweats, and his opinion hadn’t changed, so why all the makeup? Surely, if someone was to like you in that sense you shouldn’t have to dress up and put loads of makeup on?

He wasn’t too sure, really. His extent of first dates was restricted to his high school experience and he’d only been on a few since. 

“Why the panic?” He found himself asking aloud, turning to Ellis like he’d hold the answers in the universe. 

Ellis, however, turned to face him, a scowl already on his face, and it didn’t take a genius to gather that he wasn’t going to get much out of him with the mood he was in.

“What?”

“The girls.”

Ellis shrugged, turning his attention back to the TV, “Why would I know?”

Michael pressed his lips together tightly, trying to ignore the answers popping up in his head. Why wouldn’t Ellis know? He’d been talking to Taylor when you texted so if anything it’d be weird for Ellis to not know what was going on.

In fact, the longer he spent in Ellis’s presence, the more uncomfortable Michael felt. He shifted in his seat, the tense and awkward atmosphere feeling oddly claustrophobic and he felt the sudden desire to get out of the room, even if it was to fake a visit to the kitchen or something. 

He pushed himself off the sofa, the apple core in his hand sticky and by the time he’d stood in there and looked out of the window, washed his hands and decided he was going to leave anyway, there was a voice in the hallway.

“-look stunning, I promise.”

There seemed to be a muttered reply, but before he could make his way towards the door and announce his departure, there was a call of his name.

“Bunting–”

“No, don’t.”

He looked right down the hallway, Taylor leaning against the wall. Taylor wasn’t tall by any means, so he could easily see you behind her. You were clearly uncomfortable with something, unable to look at him or any living thing, your eyes instead fixated on the plants on the table next to the door. 

He had to remind himself to breathe when you rolled your eyes at Taylor and walked around her, your head down and pointedly trying not to make eye contact with him as you walked to the door to put on your shoes.

You were wearing a long black dress, not too long that you could ever trip over the hem, but long enough to accentuate the sheer length of your legs, and now he was close enough he could make out the little clusters of purple flowers embroidered onto the material. 

He couldn’t really get his mind to focus on anything other than ‘wow, that dress fits nicely’; it accentuates your curves perfectly and…he needed to breathe. He cleared his throat awkwardly, wondering when it had suddenly become so dry and ripped his eyes away to blink at Taylor.

He couldn’t read her face, but he didn’t like the look on it.

“Yeah?” He asked, unable to help glancing back at you. 

You looked…wow. 

“Does she look nice?” 

“Taylor–”

“You look really nice.” He blurted, his hands stuck in his pockets. When both of you turned to stare at him, apparently speechless, he felt his cheeks redden and his eyes drifted to the doorframe, a little mortified because you clearly hadn’t wanted him to say anything, but also because he’d said it embarrassingly fast and added a ‘really’ in there. And said it like he had a gun pointed to his head, which was one hell of a contradiction.

“Thanks.” You said, not having moved much. 

He just nodded, wanting nothing more than to melt into a puddle on the floor and soak through the floorboards and pretend this moment never occurred.

He wasn’t supposed to like you, he pretty much swore that from the start. But he had a niggling feeling you were wearing him down somehow. He didn’t know what it was, but lately he’d been finding himself sneaking a smile at some of the stuff you said and did. Like you were actually getting along.

And maybe it was because he wanted to test that unspoken theory out – to see if maybe you could be friends – but as he left he waited in the doorway for Taylor to finish talking. He had a sneaking suspicion, though, that Taylor was only talking for herself. The look on your face: he knew you were grateful for what she was saying, but there was something akin to impatience on your face if he looked hard enough.

And it was that, and the fact that the fake smile you’d plastered on your face was slowly slipping with every second that passed and every glance at the time on your phone, that he found himself stepping a little closer, whipping his keys around on his finger, “Hey, are you okay for a lift?”

Taylor shut up and looked to you for confirmation.

There was a pause and he almost regretted asking it–

“Are you offering?” Your voice was different to how it usually sounded when you were speaking to him; softer, perhaps a little more vulnerable.

And when he looked at you, he wasn’t quite sure what it was but it felt different. His stomach sort of dropped and he…lost his train of thought.

Still, he managed, “Yeah. I can drop y’off on my way home, it’s no problem.”

“You’re leaving already?” Taylor asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, I’m pretty tired.” He didn’t really want to say that he didn’t feel like he was welcome at this particular moment in time, not with Ellis clearly in a mood, but he did feel a stab of guilt when he thought about leaving Taylor to deal with it by herself, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” She brushed it off, taking a step back and glancing between you and him with an odd glint in her eye, “I’ll let you go. Have fun.”

There were a few hushed mutters as he stepped out of the apartment, waiting by the elevator for you to join him, and almost as soon as you shut the door behind you, you sighed.

He still didn’t say anything, and instead turned to watch the numbers tick up to the floor, before an audible ding sounded and the doors shuddered open. He let you go first. And if he thought the tension back with Ellis was bad, this was a whole other level, because he swore he could hear the cogs of your mind working on overdrive – about the date or about his uncharacteristic behaviour, he couldn’t possibly guess, but it was driving him crazy.

“You good?”

“Hmm?” You looked at him, shocked at his words, and he’d never seen you this frazzled before, “Oh, yeah. Just nervous, I guess.”

He swallowed, uncertain. He wanted to say something to make you feel better – heck, he had it lined up in his head to just blurt out, but the only thing stopping him was that it might make it weirder, and you’d already been bombarded by that kind of thing from Taylor. And then he thought of you on your date and–

“If you tell yourself that the nerves are actually just excitement, I find it usually eases some of the, y’know, nerves.” He stuttered, glad the doors opened once more.

“Thanks. Also, thanks for offering to drive me here, you really didn’t have to.” You murmured, and he found himself shaking his head.

“You don’t have to thank me, it really wasn’t any trouble.”

“Do you get nervous before your games?”

The question startled him to such an extent that he almost tripped over the rug in the entryway, but his sneakers squeaked against the floor and he felt his body jolt a little. 

Was he actually losing it or was this considered a civil conversation? You weren’t at his throat with some quick witted jab, and you weren’t looking at him like you wanted to wring his neck.

It was weirdly refreshing.

“Sometimes.” He admitted, holding the door open to the car park, “It’s usually hit and miss though, it depends on who we’re playing. The car’s this way.” He pointed to the other side of the garage at your hesitation.

And it wasn’t until you’d buckled yourself in and he’d turned the engine on that either of you spoke again.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

He breathed a bitter laugh, “I’m usually nice to people, y’know, I’m not a–”

“Dick?”

“Yeah.” He shot you a look, “You test my patience, though. You bring out the worst of me.”

You seemed to ease up a little at his confession, managing a small smile, “Likewise.”

“I just…” he trailed off, pulling a face before momentarily losing his train of thought as he pulled out into traffic, “There’s a time and a place for that kind of thing. And I could tell Taylor was starting to grind your gears, so…”

You hummed, “Yeah. She’s great but sometimes she, like, I don’t think she knows me as well as she thinks she does. Sometimes I just need quiet.”

So, he thought, that’s what he’ll give you.

***

Unknown Number: SOS

Unknown Number: HELP

Unknown Number: PLEASE HURRY

You: Who is this?

Unknown Number: Michael Bunting

You could hear the yelling and the dumping of objects into a hollow box even through the door, and it was both the noise and the frantic messages that were still pinging through your phone that had you instantly pushing it open. If you hadn’t had some semblance of a warning from the messages, you’d have probably assumed the entire place had been ransacked by burglars: drawers had been turned upside down with the contents littered across floors in an attempt to find their individual belongings; there were cardboard boxes piled and stacked, stuff sticking up – and, more importantly you guessed, both co-habitants standing in the middle of the living room, yelling about something or other with a stricken Michael Bunting awkwardly holding a TV remote and waiting by the door like a kid.

It was clear from his face that he had no idea what to do. And despite the situation, you were able to find some amusement in that.

Although…

“What’s Taylor doing here?” You asked, the both of you still loitering in the doorway, watching your friends rip each other up like it was usual Saturday soap.

He shrugged, and you felt the heat of his stare burn the side of your cheek until you couldn’t take the silence. His cheeks were pink and he looked to be stuttering.

“What?” 

He winced, “I kind of walked in this morning and she was in the kitchen.” 

You blinked, your attention switching back to the arguing couple. Ellis had a cushion in his hand and they were both insisting it was theirs, only when you looked closer, you noticed Taylor’s bare feet and the Blue Jays t-shirt she was wearing, and you turned, shocked and disturbed, to Michael.

“When you said this morning…”

“Yeah?” He was refusing to look at you properly now, and that little seed of disbelief that had planted itself in your brain seemed to bloom, and a pebble of stress dropped in your stomach. His cheeks were still a bit pink, but it was hidden by a thicker wad of stubble than when you’d last seen each other.

“What time was that?” You continued, watching the delicate lines near his eyes appear when he pulled another face, almost confirming your thoughts with just a look.

“Nine.”

You nodded, “Right. And was she, y’know, dressed?”

His eyes closed briefly, a whisper of mortification barely heard over the yelling – but with the two of you standing shoulder to shoulder sharing a doorway it wasn’t missed, “Barely.”

You huffed a small laugh at his expense because he clearly hadn’t been prepared for his best friend’s now ex-girlfriend to be in the kitchen wearing next to nothing that early in the morning, and at the sound he sent you an offended glance.

“Sorry.” You apologised, turning to watch the spectacle with a barely-there smile that became increasingly difficult to hide the longer you felt him stare accusingly in your direction – if anything his undying attention only amplified the hilarity of his earlier memory and you had to lean your forehead against the wood of the doorframe and turn your back to him to block the image from your mind entirely.

“Listen, she’s pretty and everything, but…it’s weird for me.” He mumbled, folding his arms.

“Was it your first time seeing a half-naked woman?” 

He rolled his eyes, “You’re hilarious – shut up, don’t even say it. You know why it’s weird. It’d be weird if you walked in and it was Ellis with, like, a bowl of cereal covering his crotch.”

You wrinkled your nose, frowning, “I didn’t need that image, but point taken.”

You turned your attention to the bickering couple in front of you, now waving a fly swatter. In truth, you weren’t really sure why you were here or why Michael was here. Taylor had asked you to come with her when she’d made her so-called ‘appointment’ to pick up her stuff from Ellis’s place, but looking at them now she didn’t really need the help, or moral support. And neither did Ellis.

In fact, they were standing in front of each other arguing, and it was probably the least stressed you’d seen Taylor in weeks. Sure, their voices were raised, but there wasn’t anything malicious being said or anything physical going on. They were simply picking up objects and having a loud debate over whose it was, and it was that arguing combined with the obvious ‘last time together’ thing that made you think maybe this was more for closure for each other than anything else.

Even from Taylor’s point of view, she wasn’t quite sure what had happened, but she’d said it felt like everything between them had just gradually fizzled out for no apparent reason. It was odd, really: they’d seemed like such a good fit at the start and now, even like last week, they’d be in the same room and have more interest in talking to either you or Michael than showing interest in each other.

And it was that that had you turning to the man next to you, something plucking at your heart strings. It felt an awful lot like the dread you’d felt earlier, except it was laced with something heavier. Like knowing you’d never see your childhood pet again.

“Are they still broken up?” You found yourself asking, wanting him to turn his attention away from the scenes in front of you both.

He blinked once more before turning his head to look at you, about to say something on the tip of his tongue but clearly changing his mind at what he saw on your face. He tilted his head, eyes zipping from each of yours – back and forth – before his mouth curved up slightly at the edges, his expression taking an odd turn.

“What?” You asked, paranoid at the way he was looking at you.

His grin broadened, and he tilted his head adorably, “Nothing. But, yeah, they’re still broken up.”

You nodded, shifting uncomfortably on your feet. There was something rising in your chest, a tightness edged with panic, like you were aware time was clearly running out for something but your head wasn’t quite sure what.

“We’re still gonna be friends, right?” 

For a brief moment, you didn’t know what to do. Your pulse seemed to kick against your sternum and that tightness in your chest eased, an inexplicable reaction that you couldn’t quite get ahold of its meaning.

“Us?” You looked at him, and where he previously had a smile on his face, it was now replaced with a kind of cautious curiosity: his mouth was pulled tightly and there was a slight, very slight crease between his brows that deepened when you spoke again.

His eyes briefly skitted to your right before returning to meet yours, “Yeah?” He said, but with the way his voice ticked up at the end it almost sounded like he wasn’t too sure himself.

And you were so shocked at the words falling out of his mouth that you could only blink and stare, “I’m your friend?”

You supposed it wasn’t too shocking: after the initial agreement it had taken a while to warm up to each other, but you’d eventually gotten to the point where you’d managed to unintentionally create some inside jokes, and, sure, you’d still bicker like children from time to time, but the teasing was less malicious and more fond, like you’d known each other for a while.

And it was in that moment that you realised that tightness in your chest was because you just assumed that, like Taylor would lose Ellis, you would lose Michael. 

His eyes narrowed uncomfortably, and you could tell he'd gone a little defensive at your questions, probably assuming his own assumptions weren’t exactly reciprocated, “Yes.” He said, a little forcefully, “Aren’t I your friend?”

You nodded, awkwardly scratching your cheek, “I just assumed you only spent time with me because of Ellis and Taylor–”

“Nah.”

You nodded slowly, a small smile creeping onto your face, “Oh.”

He paused for a beat, watching you carefully, “Is that a no, then?”

“No, it’s a yes.”

“Good.” He grinned.

***

He was next to you one second and the next he’d just disappeared completely. It was the strangest thing. 

It wasn’t like he was particularly easy to lose in a  crowd, either, not with those shoulders and – well, actually, he was quite small so in hindsight, it was pretty easy to lose him in a crowd, especially when he was just another suit-clad man with a fairly recent haircut and shave.

You sighed in defeat, sitting back in your chair at the table surrounded by strangers that weren’t all that interested in your presence. You’d checked your phone at least five times within the past three minutes, expecting a quick text for an explanation and you hadn’t really been able to stop looking at the bar, helplessly expecting his face to materialise in thin air.

It was pretty shitty what he’d done: he’d all but begged you to come with him to one of his friend’s weddings and after you’d had to rearrange plans just so you could agree (he’d been so desperate he’d actually offered you a thousand dollars to go with him), yet the second you both enter the reception location, he dips? 

“Excuse me, hi–”

You snapped your neck towards the unfamiliar voice, heart pounding like a jackhammer in your chest at the unexpected intrusion, and managed a polite, albeit confused, smile as you found yourself faced with a pretty raven-haired woman. You’d never seen her before, but with the way she was looking at you, you were almost forced to second guess yourself.

“Oh, hi.” You replied, brain spinning and throwing out names, but your face clearly contorting into one of utter bewilderment, much to her amusement.

She chuckled, “Sorry, you don’t know me.” She said, slightly oddly, and you tilted your head, connecting the dots from what she hadn’t said.

“But you know me?” You asked, and she shrugged, her cheeks colouring slightly.

“Not exactly, but I saw you come in with Michael–”

“Oh.”

She cringed, “Yeah. I am really sorry for approaching you like this, but I was just wondering if he was okay?”

You just blinked.

“You know,” she continued, clearly sensing your confusion, “because of our breakup?”

Oh fuck.

You tried to hide the shock from your face – as though this wasn’t new news to you – but try as you might, you felt your brows rise a little and your heart rate quicken. He’d never mentioned anything like that to you. In fact, you guys rarely ever talked about relationships, even despite you currently being in one (though it probably wasn’t going to last with the way it had been going recently), so you just assumed he hadn’t been in one.

Nevertheless, you nodded, “He’s fine.”

She eased after that, smiling in relief, but still hung around as though you were supposed to say something else, but in all honesty you weren’t sure what to say. You didn’t know if he was okay, not if he’d seen her and bolted; you didn’t know when it was that they’d broken up, and you didn’t know how much he’d want you to say.

So you sat in the chair, smiling awkwardly – probably appearing pretty rude – and just sighed.

“I’m sorry, I can’t say–”

“It’s fine, I understand.” She replied, smiling tightly, “Enjoy the night.” 

You watched her walk away, and as soon as she disappeared through another set of doors, you picked up your phone and started to wind your way through the crowds to at least guess where he could have gone. There were little booths and food carts off around the edge of the room, along with some photo booths and drinks stands – it wasn’t until you reached the photo booth right near the entrance that you stopped for the first time.

There wasn’t a queue to this one, but there was a strip of photos in the hatch and a pair of freshly shined shoes under the curtain. You paused, taking a peak at the photos.

It was him, alright. Four photos: one of him in a ginger wig, one with a pair of huge glasses on, one with a moustache on a stick and the final one with all of them combined. If it had been any other time you supposed you’d have laughed, but all the photos did was fuel your desire to get the curtain open.

All he did was raise his brows at your appearance and shuffle over on the bench, tucking himself in against the wall with a defeated, unsurprised smile. You passed him the photo strip and he breathed a short, mirthless laugh before tucking it in his pocket and turning to you, an almost embarrassed look on his face.

“Sorry for ditching you.” He mumbled, looking genuinely guilty.

You shook your head, a pang of adoration shooting through your system for the man in front of you. You didn’t quite know where it suddenly came from or why it occurred, but you did know that it meant he was precious to you in a way you hadn’t even realised. You guys weren’t exactly close – there were obviously things you didn’t talk about (as evidenced), but you cared about him. Wanted him to be happy. 

Wanted to wipe that forlorn expression off his face because he was clearly beating himself up about leaving you but still a little caught off guard by…

“You don’t have to apologise.” You smiled reassuringly, before asking, “What’s her name?”

His brows raised, and he tutted as he pulled an uncomfortable face. Whether it was because he hadn’t expected the question or because he was stealing himself, you weren’t at liberty to say, “Jess.” He managed, eyes zeroing in on some lint on the floor by his feet.

You just nodded. If he wanted to talk about it, you knew he would – he wasn’t exactly an open book when you prodded him, but you were all ears regardless. 

“We were in a serious relationship for three and a half years before we broke up. That was a week before I met you. I wasn’t really coping well so Ellis dragged me out to that bar. I’m okay now, though. I still get a bit sad about it but I think I’m more sad for the me I was when we were dating than the me now, if that makes sense.” He spoke to his shoes, his arms crossed against his chest, as though to spit the words out and force himself to talk about it, that also meant he couldn’t face you, “I had a feeling she was gonna be here tonight, it was actually why I invited you, but the second I saw her, I don’t know, I just walked away. And the weird thing is that I don’t know why I walked away, because when I saw her I felt nothing. Maybe I walked away because I feel like I should have felt something, like walking away from her was something that was expected of me.” He sighed, swinging his head towards you, his eyes momentarily dropping to the necklace that sat comfortably against your sternum before darting back up to your face, “I’m just a bit confused.” He admitted.

You reciprocated his wry, self-deprecating smile, patting him on the arm fondly, “Me too; I actually thought you wanted to spend time with me–”

“Shut the fuck up.” He breathed a laugh, shaking his head. 

That despondent expression had gone, the tension practically drained from the lines of his face, and you rejoiced at the smile now there – a real one, not one put on for the sake of it.

You took a breath, and whether he could sense that you were about to say something potentially cheesy, or something that neither of you would really say or do, his smile dropped, but only slightly. His eyes were focused on you, and you almost wanted to shrink back under his gaze – you two were sitting pretty tightly together: this photo booth bench was only made for one person, so there was little to no room to even look at each other properly. You’d both had to lean backwards against the walls to not end up touching noses, and for some reason, that hadn’t even occurred to you until that very second.

The breath in your chest shook a little, “I know…Um…” You laughed uneasily, “I know you said you were okay, and I know we don’t usually do this kind of thing, but if you ever feel like it…just for the support – that my hand is here for you to hold if ever you want to.” You inhaled, and this time it was you who was unable to look at him, “And that it’s okay to feel confused about it all. You don’t have to have an explanation for everything, but there’s nothing you can feel that’s wrong in any way. And if you ever want to talk about it…I’m always gonna be here for you.”

When you finally found the courage to turn to him again, he was looking at you in a way that was almost equivalent to the secret adoration you harboured for him, and you fought to keep your cheeks from flushing and your face from smiling like a damn fool. With the way the LED overhead lights were shining on you both – the heat of them warming the box pretty quickly, made worse by the two bodies also in there – your eyes drifted to his nose. You’d never really noticed it before, but the light seemed to hit it just right to enunciate the straight bridge of it. There was a scar just above his lip, darker and also more pronounced from the fresh shave (he’d not got rid of it all, there was still a light bit of scruff left), and although he wasn’t smiling properly, the creases by his eyes seemed to suggest otherwise.

He swallowed once he noticed you’d turned your attention back to him, and he nodded, lips twitching, “That really means a lot, hearing you say that.” He said, rather hoarsely, “It also goes both ways, too.” 

You tilted your head in question.

“The hand thing – you can hold mine…for support.” 

“Ah.”

“I actually do have something to say, now that I’m thinking about it.” 

When did his eyes get so fucking bright? It almost angered you that you’d never noticed it before.

“What?” You asked, mildly curious as to his next words.

Though, nothing – absolutely nothing – could have prepared you for the bombshell of his next words.

“You look really beautiful tonight.”

***

“I know I said to avoid Tim Horton’s today, but I didn’t really mean to avoid–Oh, what the heck?”

His phone was immediately pocketed, and the smile on his face immediately dropped, and he stepped through the door without another word, leaving you both severely confused at his sudden actions and slightly light headed at the speed he’d managed to do all three things in. He simply stood in front of your now shut door, a mildly horrified look on his face and his hands tapping against his short-clad thigh.

“Why are you wearing shorts, it’s freezing outside?”

Your question of appal seemingly went unheard, because the crease between his brows only deepened and he pulled a funny face: his mouth turned down at the corners but he wasn’t angry or upset.

“Um…Okay, so you can tell me to shut the fuck up with what I’m about to ask you…” He trailed off, his eyes never leaving your face – all it did was elicit you to swipe against your cheek, expecting your hand to come away with pen or some dirt or something, because he was looking at you like you were an alien.

It was weird. And creepy.

“But have you been crying?”

You blinked, tilting your head with wide eyes.

He didn’t say anything but he copied your actions, before snapping into a more serious role, “No, but I’m being deadly serious.”

You hesitated, and he took that as your answer, his entire body deflating.

There was no point trying to hide it, clearly not if he’d just taken one solid look at you immediately after walking through the door and managed to figure it out. If anything you were a little impressed he’d recognised it because you’d never cried before or in front of seeing him ever – there hadn’t ever been a situation where he’d have seen your post-cry face to recognise it for what it was, and it wasn’t even as if you actually cried much. Maybe two minutes, tops.

“I broke up with Sam this morning.” You bit the bullet, willing your eyes to not tear up as you spoke the words into existence, but as you did so, the lump rose in your throat so impossibly quickly you physically couldn’t bring yourself to say anything else. Not if you didn’t want to actually start crying.

So you waited, and you watched and you looked as he stuttered, his eyes darting all over your face before going to your living room area. He circled his attention back to you after his forehead had creased and he’d seen what was on the TV, looking suddenly more comfortable than he had mere seconds ago.

“Are you okay?” Was the first thing out of his mouth, his backpack sliding off his shoulders easily to be deposited by the door, and all you could manage was a weak shrug, teeth scraping against your bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

You hated crying, and there was nothing worse than crying in front of someone else – you had no idea how he’d react if the dam did end up breaking, but if the soft, sympathetic gleam in his eye as he took an unsure step towards you was anything to go by, you had an inkling you were in safe hands.

He nodded at your uncertain gesture, “That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

The crack in your chest seemed to split further, as though someone had thrown an axe straight through it, and all you could do was nod, your arms crossed tightly against your chest as though they’d somehow protect you from the inevitable hurt and grief of the next few minutes, hours, weeks and perhaps months.

But, despite all of that, the fact that he’d shown up out of nowhere sheerly because you hadn’t had the energy to pick up your phone, and because he clearly cared, you felt okay. Better than you had earlier when you hadn’t even spoken the truth to anyone.

He was right, you didn’t want to talk about it – but he was here. And he was pulling a Tim Horton’s box out of his backpack, giving you space and time and he was so heart-achingly patient that it almost sent you into another spiral of tears for a whole different reason. There was something about him that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. His friendship was different from yours with Taylor; you loved the girl to pieces but if you’d have told her like you’d just told him, she’d have corralled you into spilling your guts about everything, and you didn’t need that.

You needed peace and quiet and the familiar security and the unspoken knowledge that, yes, you were upset, but you were going to be okay.

“Thanks.” You mumbled, stomach growling when the smells emanated from the open paper bag.

He nodded wordlessly, but looked up with mild horror at the sounds your stomach made, “Hungry?” He joked lightly, already rooting through your cupboards to gather plates.

“Just a bit.” You replied hoarsely, helping him upturn the various boxes onto the plates, before, wordlessly, you both crashed on the couch, your eyes burning each and every single time you blinked. Your throat was aching with the effort to not succumb to the growing lump that had planted itself there, and you were so exhausted. So, so exhausted. 

“Thanks for the food.” You said, between mouthfuls, the hungry cramps of your stomach easing with each and every bite. You didn’t let him answer before you jumped into your next question: “How was work?”

You watched him out of the corner of his eye, swallow, also looking at you for a brief moment – as though to suss you out and to gather his thoughts – before he shrugged, a small smile on his face, “It was so bad.”

“Really?” You managed a laugh, the muscles in your face feeling tight at the sudden movements. His face was a picture: he was grinning brightly, the corners of his eyes crinkled and his brows had jumped up his forehead, mind clearly playing something on repeat.

“Really. Willy did the bare minimum and just giggled at me the entire time which made me worse at it, and I – fuck, I couldn’t concentrate on the people in front of me when there were people ordering down the line, and then Mo and Auston showed up too–”

“You’re kidding.”

He shook his head morbidly, “Dead serious. Wearing wigs and the most ridiculous clothes I’ve ever seen, and they ripped us apart, man. I can’t even do it justice, you’ll just have to watch it when it comes out, oh God…” He trailed off, breaking into a small fit of giggles that was so infectious you had to put your own food back down and concentrate on now choking on your drink.

“It was bad, but you had fun?” You summarised, grinning as he nodded, practically glowing at the memory of it.

“I think it’s one of the best days I’ve ever had.”

You just laughed, tucking into your food once more as it became clear he didn’t have anything else to say about it–

“Why’re you watching this?”

Your eyes jumped to him across the couch, briefly frowning in confusion before remembering exactly what you’d been watching before the knock on your door. The frame had been paused mid-first period of the game – there wasn’t anything particularly spectacular about it, and you wondered if he recognised it at all.

He tilted his head, a hint of confusion lacing his tone, and you swallowed, nerves picking up and your heart thrumming in your chest. You never really talked about hockey with him, at least not from your perspective. You guys talked about the Leafs and his games and his practices and his teammates, but you’d never really broached your affinity for the sport. And the longer you’d left it, the more awkward you’d felt it would be to just admit it outright.

“It’s my favourite game.” You admitted quietly, fighting the urge to smile fondly.

He hesitated, his head swinging from you to the screen and back again, and he asked, a little breathlessly – as though he was trying to wrap his head around everything bouncing around his mind – “You watch hockey enough to have a favourite game?”

You nodded, “I love hockey.”

“You do?” He asked, voice higher in pitch than it had been. The surprise was painfully evident, and with it, so was the guilt that seemed to make itself known.

“Yeah.”

He nodded slowly, “I thought you didn’t know who I was?” 

“I didn’t. I’d just moved to Toronto, like, a week before you started I think, and the Leafs aren’t exactly my team, y’know?” You explained, watching him carefully for any traces of possible betrayal he might feel, “It was a hectic time to be keeping up with any NHL news.”

He blinked, before shrugging, “Makes sense. Your team’s the Preds?” He raised an inquisitive brow, and for some reason you knew then that you’d both be locked in this amusing back and forth for a while. Of course you would: there’s no greater hockey fan than a hockey player, let alone a hockey player playing for their childhood team. 

You scoffed, barking a short, almost offended laugh, “No. I mean, I have nothing against the Preds, but it’s the Pens for me, all the way.” 

He arched a brow at your reaction, a smirk beginning to play at the corner of his mouth, “I mean you no offence when I say that.” Before, “I want you to win, though–”

“Just me?”

“Micheal Bunting against the NHL, yeah.” You rolled your eyes, “The Leafs are…I want you to win unless it’s against the Pens. It’s a conflict of interest.”

“What do you do when we play with each other?”

You widen your eyes comically, “Lock myself in a dark room and don’t come out until the game’s over.” You shrug, answering honestly, “It depends whose situation is the most dire, I guess. I always want the Pens to do well, but you’ve thrown a spanner in the works. You’ve made hockey complicated.”

“I’m honoured.” He laughed softly, “Why’s this one your favourite?”

“Sixth game of the Stanley Cup Final, 2017. I don’t know why that one specifically, it’s just the last one we won when I was back home, so it reminds me of…well, home, I guess.”

“You miss it?”

You nodded, almost wistfully, “Yeah. I sometimes think about moving back.”

“But?” He encouraged, almost afraid of what you were about to say.

“I don’t know. I have friends here, a job, somewhere to live; I guess I have that back home too, or I would given the time. I think I’m just waiting for the right moment to go back.” You trailed off, your voice becoming nothing more than a mere whisper, but he caught it – with a slow nod and the parting of his mouth.

You’d seen him speechless before, but he always managed to find something to say. The silence that ensued after spoke volumes, mostly just because you didn’t understand any of it. 

He reached over after that, taking the remote, before hesitating and turning to you, shocked when he found your eyes already on him, “What counts as the right moment?”

He pressed play when you shrugged.

***

Even after the conversation you’d both had last year about you leaving, you never would have imagined he’d be the one leaving first. It had always been a possibility, maybe even something you’d thought about since becoming friends, but there hadn’t really been anything to suggest he would leave. At least, not until the last season.

And it hadn’t ever felt realer than this moment: standing in the doorway to an empty house, your clothes sticking to you in the early Summer heat with your hands on your hips and feeling much more emotional about the prospect of a Bunting-less Toronto than you’d initially prepared yourself for.

He was wandering through the empty rooms, double and triple checking everything after you’d done the same, and for those lonely three minutes without him, you got a glimpse of what it’d be like not seeing each other every few days. You couldn’t exactly remember when Toronto had suddenly become him, but the idea of it felt strangely intimidating. It almost felt like you’d just moved in again, not knowing anyone or where anything was.

It was scary.

He came back into view, hand resting on a door frame as he stopped suddenly in the exact spot he’d looked up to you in. You offered a reassuring smile, standing up straight, but you could both tell it was strained.

“Checked everything?” You asked, voice tight, but you didn’t want to ruin this moment for him. He’d been looking forward to settling in Raleigh since he’d signed the contract – at least, once he’d gotten over the initial disappointment and sadness of leaving Ontario.

And you were excited for him, for this new opportunity and this new experience. 

You’d just never really anticipated how you’d feel.

“Yeah.” He nodded, swallowing, looking grave and strange.

“You good?” 

“Yeah.” He breathed a laugh, walking towards you and scratching his beard – he’d started leaving it longer between each shave now – “Just gonna miss this place, I guess.” He swung his hands in front of him, coming to a direct stop in front of you and swivelling on his heel, taking one last, long look at the place he’d called home for years.

You hummed in agreement, “Me too.”

You hadn’t even realised how true that admission was until you’d said it out loud. It sent an uncomfortable zing down your spine, like pulling down a zipper, and you shivered, rubbing your arms just to give yourself something to do. 

He turned to look at you, eyes assessing your every motion, and you froze. You didn’t really know where to go from here. The car was packed, the house was empty: you’d drop by the estate agent’s on the way to drop him at the airport, and from then on he’d be in Raleigh – at least, in every way that mattered to you. Sure, he had his training camps and he had his away games, but you’d very rarely get to see each other.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, unable to say anything.

But where did you go from here? You? 

Well…you’d been toying with the idea for a while, but–

“You ready?” He breathed out, lips pressed together with his hands on his hips.

You nodded, managing a smile, but the lack of effort into pretending like you weren’t in the least bit affected by it was noticeable. 

“Let’s go then.” You whispered, leading the way to the front door, slowing down each time he turned to get another look – never too far ahead, not wanting to let him out of your sight. These moments felt crucial, somehow. It was the last time you’d actually be able to look at him properly; his eyes, hair, smile, arms, legs, clothes. You felt silly soaking it all up.

He followed closely on your heels, taking the keys from you on the porch and turning round to lock the door behind him for the last time. He didn’t say anything, but his mouth twisted and he ran a brief hand across his brow bone, almost as though he was wiping away some sweat or satisfying an itch.

You tried not to make it obvious you were keeping an eye on him, ensuring to stand behind him, a few steps down to give him the space to collect himself if he needed to. And when he turned back around, he tried to keep his head down but you still caught his red-rimmed eyes and his sucked in cheek and his shaky smile as he caught up with you.

It was silent in the car, too, no music playing through the speakers. He was looking out of the window, eyes catching onto everything that swam passed, drinking it all in. 

Each time ‘for the last time’ flew through your mind, you’d have to catch yourself and reign in the prickly eyes and the tightness in your chest as best as you could without drawing too much attention to yourself. It felt pointless, though, because you knew it was inevitable that you’d both end up shedding a few tears at some point.

The only thing that seemed to do it was the knowledge that it wouldn’t even be the last time, because he grew up near here. He’d come back when he could; you’d see each other at the Marner wedding next month, too.

It wasn’t the end of the world, but it felt like a part of it was dying.

“Here.” You mumbled, voice hoarse and wiping at the underneath of your eyes (no tears had fallen, but you could feel them welling up).

He looked up and out of the window, eyes zeroing in on the window of the estate agents. His seatbelt came next, and before you could convince yourself otherwise, you followed him in, ignoring his curious eye but taking the hand he offered anyway. It was something you’d both taken to doing lately, even in mundane moments like this.

Whether it was the knowledge that time was running out or if it was just a comfort thing, you never spoke about it. It just happened. And it seemed today was one of those days you both needed it.

Only, as he made his way towards the desk, you branched away towards the other side of the shop, hands ripping apart. He only threw a confused look behind, but carried on when his own agent walked out from the back of the shop.

You, however, found yourself standing in front of the magazine rack, hands clenching and unclenching at your sides, eyes roving over the words on each, searching for the correct one. Nothing seemed to ease the hollowness under your sternum, though. 

There was some comfort when you found the right one, though, picking it up and feeling the comfortable weight in your hands. It felt like a breath of fresh air, and the twinges eased only slightly at the familiar cityscape on the front.

You swallowed, rolling it up in your fist and making your way back over to where he was chatting to his estate agent, a pen in his hand and some papers in front of him. The key had been stripped of its keychains, and for some reason that little difference brought everything back again.

You wanted to reach for his hand, but you held back for a moment. The estate agent caught your eye and you managed a polite smile, but it dropped the second they looked away.

And before you could blink, Michael was pushing himself off the counter, snatching his keychains and pushing everything else back towards the agent with a final thanks, and then he turned.

He blinked, eyes dropping to the programme in your hand, and you tried to hide it by moving it behind his leg, but he wasn’t having any of it. There was a crease between his brows, and he didn’t look to be on the verge of tears anymore, but there was a specific ticking to his jaw – his entire being was still tinged with a veil of melancholy, but he gently took it from your hand once you’d stepped outside. You let him, your fist unfurling.

Your face seemed to act of its own accord, an odd wince appearing as his lips parted.

“You’re really gonna do it?” He murmured gently, an odd glint in his eye.

“Think it’s time.” You breathed an uncomfortable laugh, somehow not able to look at him or anything else.

He was so magnetic it was honestly a chore trying not to give him all of your attention, least of all when he was looking at you differently. It wasn’t something he’d done a lot before, but you’d noticed it a lot more recently: his eyes would fix themselves on you with an unfamiliar intensity, and even when you’d catch him red handed, he wouldn’t ever let up. If anything, the attention from you seemed to make it worse (or better?) because he’d start to smile and he’d expel a stuttering breath, like he hadn’t previously been breathing.

Each time, though, you never failed to blush slightly. Your cheeks would feel warm and you’d only be able to stand his look for so long before ultimately looking away, trying not to appear too flustered by it.

“Yeah?” He asked, handing you the programme back, “You can’t stand to be in a different country than me, eh?” He joked, but you could sense the underlying seriousness to his question, as though he was fishing for a specific answer.

“You wish.” You managed, scoffing slightly but unable to hide a small smile at the familiar dynamic.

It vanished the second the first wave of homesickness took hold of you though, and he noticed. Just grabbed your hand again.

The drive from the estate agent’s to the airport was even worse. Every time the sign appeared on the side of the road, you’d have to inhale and remind yourself to keep breathing in order to stave off the oncoming bout of tears. The entire time you were fighting against the wetness gathering in your eyes, and your nose had started to run – each sniff meant he’d look at you out of the corner of his eye and if anything, that made it worse, because as time went on and as you pulled into the parking lot, you could hear his sniffles too.

You put off turning the engine off. The second you did, he’d climb out, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that just yet. Judging from the utter stillness he was exhibiting in the passenger seat, he was the same.

Your hands were still clenched around the steering wheel, the rough plastic doing nothing to cure your cold hands, not even when the sun was shining through the windshield and warming the entire vehicle. Your body was on high alert, blood not really flowing to your extremities.

You’d never been so numb yet so aware of everything in your entire life: the way the hairs on your arms stood up when he turned in his seat to face you was almost drowned out by the pounding of your heart in the sheer effort it took to not show the tears wobbling on your waterline. 

It was a plane taking off and the sheer volume of the engine that snapped you out of the haze, your hands unclipping your seatbelt, but you couldn’t quite bring yourself to even touch the door, flinching when the belt smacked against the inside of the car.

“I feel weird.” He muttered, eyes staring straight through the windshield and into the car parked nose to nose. He sniffed once, before unclipping his own seatbelt, and you watched him in silence as his shaking hands hovered above his lap before eventually settling on top of his cap, a shuddering breath passing his lips.

The sight was such a contrast to how he’d been earlier that morning – he’d gone from bouncing on his toes with giddy excitement to suddenly folding in on himself and the entire world crumbling at its edges.

You pushed open your car door, fully intending to make your way around to his own door and start from there but the second your feet hit the tarmac, he’d also pushed himself out of the car, his door slamming behind him. He’d made it to the trunk before you could even shut yours behind you or ask if he was okay, but it looked as though he’d made the decision to pretend he hadn’t just admitted his inner turmoil.

You helped him lift his luggage out of the car (there wasn’t much: most of his actual things had been packed in a moving van the day before to meet him in Raleigh tomorrow) in silence. The trunk shut.

You swallowed nervously, eyes darting to the entrance of the airport before jumping back to him. He had one fist clenched on the top of a suitcase, his other dropped by his side, gaze focused and unwavering into the glass window of the trunk, blinking every so often.

You cleared your throat and the corners of his mouth twitched before he turned to look at you, feet shuffling against the gravel. 

And he looked so despondent and not really like him at all that you didn’t have any choice whatsoever but to grab his free hand, which, similar to yours, was cold to the touch. You were both watching your fingers intertwine slowly, sliding over each other before finding solace in their places between each other’s knuckles. Three squeezes on your behalf and a small step forward had him pulling his suitcase along, an apprehensive and equally unreadable expression on his face.

“I could have stayed here longer.” He said, the both of you crossing over, a distracted gleam in his eye as he looked up at the entrance, nose scrunching on one side.

“If you stayed longer you’d want to leave less when you have to.” You reasoned, “And it’s better to move into your new place and get everything unpacked and ready for the season before it starts, to really get used to Raleigh, yeah?”

He nodded, swallowing, “Yeah.”

“Still feel weird?” 

He nodded again, looking to the floor as you walked through the entrance.

You frowned, a stab of something really getting you right in the ribs as he only looked up when the airport atmosphere bled into his bubble. It was busy, but it wasn’t the busiest you’d ever seen it: people were milling about, double checking for passports and boarding passes, everything ready at hand, and at the strangers’ checks, Michael’s own hand pulled away from the suitcase, forcing you to stop walking towards the first checkpoint, and patted against the pocket on the outside of his backpack.

He pulled it all out without looking, peering into the plastic wallet you’d given him to keep everything important organised so he wouldn’t have to check it all at this moment, right in the doorway. You reached over, letting him fret, and wheeled his suitcase over by the inside window, dragging him with you.

“What are you doing?” He asked, brows knitted as he continued looking into the wallet, not sparing you much of a glance as you patted imploringly at the straps of his backpack.

“Take it off.” “Only if you ask me out first.”

“Sorry, I just want no strings attached.” 

His eyes slid over to yours, his cheek sucked into his mouth to stop himself from grinning, and he gave you his wallet, shrugging his backpack off easily and dropping it on the floor next to where you’d parked his suitcase.

“Now what?” He asked, eyes darting back to your hand like he wanted to grab it again, but decided against it.

“I don’t know.” You breathed, “How long do you have left?”

“Two hours-ish until boarding.”

“Oh.” He had to leave now, you supposed, eyeing his luggage like they were the ones taking him away, and that ache in your throat reappeared before you could even blink, and you were rendered speechless. 

You watched him nod, and reach for his bags, but he must have changed his mind because the next thing you knew, your back was pressed up against the window, his arms wrapped around your shoulders and your head resting against his collarbone. 

There was a moment when all you could focus on was the sudden envelope of warmth that circled you, the cacophony of smells: deodorant, fabric softener, a slight twinge of sweat and something else entirely – something very familiar – and before you could even sigh at the ache in your chest, you’d melted into him completely, your own arms hooking around the backs of his. You tucked your forehead down into his chest, pressing at the supple muscle, hands tightening in his shirt.

It wasn’t very comfortable: the ridges of metal edging the glass panes were digging into your back, and–oh.

There was a shuddering against your forehead, and you froze, before tilting your head up to see his eyes screwed shut in an effort to not let anything show. 

“We’ve still got the Marner wedding – it’s gonna be okay.” And despite yourself, despite the watery smile on your face, you laughed a little, “You’re gonna enjoy Raleigh–”

“It’s not that.” He shook his head, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes and blinking to get rid of the blurriness before dropping them to his sides again, the both of you still in entirely too-close-for-comfort-quarters. 

“The weird feeling?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, his chin wavering, and he inhaled sharply, “It’s just gonna be so weird not seeing you.”

“FaceTime exists, as do away games to Toronto.”

“I’m not even in that division anymore.”

You sighed, “Pittsburgh is, though.”

Silence.

He was doing it again: “Stop looking at me like that.”

He frowned, “Like what?”

“I don’t know, just–” You rolled your eyes, reaching to tug him back into you like before, only this time your hands slid up his back to rest across the tops of his shoulders, and he sighed into the touch, his own rough palms dragging up your neck to plant a soft kiss against your hairline. 

You stayed like that until he really had to go, but there weren’t any tears.

***

“Do you like him?”

The question hung in the air for a good few seconds, you pulling a face, heart pounding like a jackhammer against your sternum before you could even find the words and the ability to talk, “He’s infuriating.”

“Do you like him?” Taylor’s voice rang out through your phone speaker, her eyebrow raised very matter-of-fact, and you’d never wanted to scream at her before, but you were cutting it pretty close with the way she was looking at you and the tone she was using.

You hesitated, your face falling. The words were caught in your throat, the admission you’d practised like a teleplay in your head, but the only thing stopping you was the way things would change. Sure, it would only be little things to start with, like Taylor nagging you with it, or her insufferably smug ‘I told you so’s. But eventually that meant that you’d have to do something about it, because Taylor could never leave things like that alone, least of all with rock hard evidence.

But…maybe you needed that?

“I…” You looked away from your phone, body trembling with an invisible cold, “Did I tell you what happened at the wedding?”

She frowned, “The Marner one?”

“Yeah.”

“The one that happened, like, Summer last year? Fucking months ago?”

You cringed, “That one.”

THE MARNER WEDDING:

“My God, are you a sight for sore eyes.”

Michael Bunting was never one to care about his appearance, least of all after crawling off a plane, but somehow he’d found himself in the bathroom of the airport, fixing his hair and straightening his clothes. All for it to fly completely out of the window when he strolled towards the exit and the first thing you did was say that. He couldn’t tell if it was the grin on your face or the sheer excitement racking your entire being that caused it, but he’d never felt sillier for feeling nervous about this moment.

“Could say the same thing about you.” He retorted, feeling the tightness in his chest dissolve, “What’s that?” He reached a finger to tap the underside brim of your cap, the sudden intrusion making you blink and jump slightly.

You knew what he was talking about: the black cap on your head, the sticker placed over a hidden logo with your handwritten message scrawled on. He furrowed his brows, eyes tracking over the words, before tilting his head in confusion, reading it aloud, “‘This is indeed my first rodeo’.” He said it slowly, as though he was worried he’d read it wrong, and before he could even ask you what it meant, you felt his fingers pick at the corner, peeling the sticker back.

He smiled sarcastically, patting it back into place with more force than necessary, the pats like small smacks against your forehead, “Shoulda known. What’s with the rodeo thing?”

“Bridal party thing.” You shrugged, “I’m not sure really.” You reached out to take the small suitcase from him, your own hands trying to pry his fingers off the handle, but he only held on tighter, “Let go.”

“No.”

“Yes.” You sighed, looking him dead in the eye hoping he’d get the hint and succumb, but he shook his head, his other hand peeling your fingers off him one by one, more condescendingly than anything else, “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want the dead body to fall out.”

—

“Hey, I forgot to ask earlier,” he called from the bathroom, the door shut as you took turns: he was cleaning his teeth and trimming his beard etc, and you were getting changed – later, you’d swap, “but how’s the property hunt going in Pittsburgh?”

You grinned, slipping the straps of your dress over your shoulders. Even the mere mention of your future plans had you smiling like an absolute idiot; you couldn’t wait to get back there. If you told the you that had just moved to Toronto what you were about to do, you were sure she’d have had a stroke from the shock. For so long, you’d envisioned living your life in Toronto and staying there. Moving back home felt more like a fever dream or something you shouldn’t do, because surely moving back to your home city meant you’d failed at something? At least, that used to be your thought process.

In reality, you just missed your family too much – every time something happened, whether it be a proposal or an illness, something in you just ached to be back there. 

“It’s going okay. I’ve got a few places lined up that my parents have viewings booked for to check out, but there hasn’t been anything that’s stood out so far, but…” you paused, sitting on the edge of the bed to sort out your shoes, “I’ve got an online job interview with a company back there next week and the starting date, if I get it, is on par pretty much with moving in if there’s a place found within the next two weeks or so. But that’s only if everything goes well. Reality is I’ll probably end up moving back in with my parents for a few weeks until I find a place which isn’t exactly ideal.”

There were a few bangs, things getting placed on the counter, before his muffled, “Can I open the door?” Could be heard.

“Yeah, I’m decent.”

He creaked open the door, leaning on the handle as it swung open with a dopey grin, and it took everything in you not to stall at the sight: he was only wearing dress pants and a pair of socks, his hair tousled and damp from the shower. You’d seen photos of hockey players shirtless before, but there was something breathtakingly stunning about seeing Michael without one. He was your friend, and friends kept their shirts on – but…you swallowed, rather wishing you didn’t have to tear your eyes away from his toned figure and the smattering trail of hair, and turned your attention to his face.

The grin on his face had frozen, and despite not even looking further down than his neck you could see his chest rising and falling, eyes narrowed playfully as he stood up straighter, eyeing you with something that screamed trouble in all ways imaginable.

“Were you just checking me out?” He let go of the door handle, one hand pointing at you in an accusatory manner, and you just blinked, frowning.

“No.” You shook your head, pasting an incredulous ‘how could you’ look on your face to try and deny what had, in fact, been absolutely true.

He hesitated, his eyes roving your face for a single speck of a lie, “You were looking.”

You shrugged, “I’ve just never seen someone so…well-built before, that’s all.”

He nodded, pressing his lips together to stifle another grin, “So you were checking me out?”

“No, I was looking. There’s a difference.”

He lifted his hand, thumb and pointer finger closed together, a slither of a gap between them, “Tiny difference. So tiny there might not even be a difference.”

You sent him an unimpressed look, one that you hoped would mean he’d shut up about it because the second you even so much as hinted at him being right, it’d be over. He’d hold it above you for the rest of your lives, and you weren’t about to give him the satisfaction of that, not if you could help it, “You’d know if I checked you out.”

He fell for it, his smile dropping in curiosity, “How?”

You shrugged, “You’d just know.” You took a deep breath, “Why’d you open the door?”

“I was gonna ask you about this job interview next week – what’s it for?” He disappeared back into the bathroom, but the mirror in the room still provided you with the perfect angle to watch his focused motions as he ran a towel through his hair and picked up an electric shaver. Each time he moved, his body rippled, and you hated that you couldn’t stop looking.

“It’s a cheffing position at a hotel, but it’s almost like a club. There’s an entire golf course; the restaurant is gorgeous; it’s got a spa, and it’s just…it’s like an old estate house in a period film, it’s just beautiful.” You raved, fiddling with your makeup bag as you waited for him to finish.

“Sounds incredible.” He muttered, nodding at you to join him and shoving his things to one side, “What makes you think you won’t get it?”

You shrugged, placing your bag on the counter, missing the way his eyes dragged right across your figure in the mirror, his hand still shaving his cheek with close concentration. Perhaps if he’d wavered, you’d have caught the action, but you didn’t, carrying on, “They can’t really ‘interview’ me without trying my food. I had to ask if it was okay for an online thing and it was lucky they even agreed, so…I don’t know, it just feels too good to be true.”

“Why?”

You sighed, “It just does. Something has to go wrong somewhere.”

“Not necessarily.”

“I don’t want to get my hopes up, that’s all.” You said it forcefully, throwing something back into your makeup bag and not even looking in his direction. He slowly lowered his hand to the counter, eyes fixated on you for a whole different reason.

You’d gone from being so infectiously excited about the prospect to suddenly…not.

“Everything okay?” He asked softly.

It had been four weeks since you’d last seen each other, and although he’d felt your absence like he’d never expected, he’d never felt it more than he had now. Ironic, considering you were standing right next to him. To have gone from texting each other with updates every day in Toronto to that eventually dwindling, mostly because he didn’t want to bother you too much – he’d assumed the same on your end, too – it was a big adjustment. He’d caught himself reaching for his phone a few times or eyeing it as each notification came through, and the remembrance of ‘oh, shit, we’re in different countries’ or not seeing your name pop up sent a shot of disappointment so deep through his chest that sometimes he’d actually have to massage it away.

It kind of killed him, though, that he didn’t know what was wrong. If he’d have still been back here…

“Yeah,” you clenched and unclenched your jaw, “it’s just stressful. There’s so many decisions that need to be made, and I have a date to move out now but I just want to go back to a job lined up at least. It’d be worth it then.”

His mind whirled, ideas of what to say lining up like there was no tomorrow, but he wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to say. He swallowed, nudging your arm with his elbow to get you to turn your attention back to him, and smiled smally in the mirror when you met his eyes, “I think it’s worth it anyway if it’s something that makes you happy. And it won’t be the end of the world if you don’t have a place to live or a job immediately. It might be ideal, but if it doesn’t work out, you’ll figure things out. Everything will fall into place, it just might take some time, that’s all.”

It was almost magical how quickly the sudden tension dissipated. The dread in your stomach and your racing heart calmed almost instantly – the very second you allowed yourself to believe his words. You knew he wouldn’t say something like that and not mean it, and the fact that he believed in you to that extent – to hear him topple each and every single doubt in your mind to the ground – had you fighting to grab ahold of him. Whether it be his hand or to hug him or to just check to make sure he was really there. It didn’t matter that one half of his beard was neatly trimmed and the other wasn’t; it didn’t matter that his hair was wet or he didn’t have a shirt.

You wanted to tell him you missed him at that very moment. Especially when he looked at you like that again.

Michael blinked, eyeing you. He was aware the entire room had come to a standstill and that all you were doing was simply breathing and looking right at him, and it was the latter that was odd. There was something skewiff about the way you were looking at him, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Your mouth had parted, and there was a faint, dainty crease between your brows, like when you were thinking about something. If it weren’t for the fractional tilt of your head or the softness to your eyes – they kept bouncing across his face like it was the first time you’d actually looked at him – he would’ve thought that’s what you were doing: thinking.

But then you huffed a laugh, almost shocking yourself, and snapped back to reality, that look disappearing as quickly as he’d noticed it, “Yeah.” You placed a hand against your cheek, eyes darting away from him briefly, and when you pulled your palm away, he could see the growing darkness of your cheeks, “Thank you, I really needed to hear that.”

You looked towards the counter, hair falling in a curtain and hiding your face, and not for the first time since he’d come back, a homesick pang seemed to resonate to the tips of his fingers, as though his entire soul had been plucked like the string of a guitar.

—

He kept telling himself that his arm was around your shoulder, his fingers against your skin, because your strap kept falling down – and he could tell it was irritating you. (He’d also made the mistake of actually looking when it had fallen the first time, the sharp motion catching his eye, and he had no intention of replicating that awkward moment again.) It had absolutely nothing to do with the alcohol in his system, lowering his inhibitions, or the way you’d scooted closer to him because of the tight-packed bar, or the fact that he’d realised mid-way through the ceremony that what Mitch was saying about Steph was eerily similar to how he felt for you.

Mo kept shooting him a look over Tessa’s head when you weren’t looking, and Willy had hilariously looked shocked when he’d had to correct him that, no, you were just friends, even after knowing that exact same fact for over two years now.

But you? He didn’t think you were thinking too much about him at that moment. Your eyes were fixed on someone further down the bar – someone that he wasn’t particularly fond of during the season in the first place – and he was having a hard time trying not to let it get to him. 

Sidney Crosby. He wasn’t doing anything in particular, but you kept glancing back at him and he could practically sense you vibrating at the mere knowledge that he was metres away. He was half-expecting you to straight-up ditch him to go talk to the man himself, or he would have if you hadn’t shaken your head at Mitch with a hilariously terrified look on your face when he’d offered to introduce you. Michael had an inkling you did want to meet the guy, but just didn’t want to appear too eager.

And realistically, he knew he had absolutely no reason to even be the slightest bit jealous of the guy. He wasn’t even sure he was jealous, but the thought did make him uncomfortable; though he wasn’t entirely able to think about anything other than the vows from earlier.

“Want me to help you out?” It was Willy talking in his ear. He didn’t even need to look at the blonde to know it was him; the garish chain peeking out between a shirt that was unbuttoned dangerously low down, and the cologne emanating from him. Bunts figured he must douse himself in the stuff before he steps outside, but he’d seen Willy get ready and the only conclusion he’d reached was that guy must just smell that good naturally all the damn time.

He didn’t know why that was the first thing that popped into his mind at that moment. What he did know was that nothing good ever followed Willy when he uttered those words. 

“Absolutely not, no.” He was very aware of his fingers still hooked onto the strap of your dress, keeping it held tightly against your shoulder. And on the way your other shoulder was pressed right against his chest. And the fact that you were chatting to someone he wasn’t quite sure he recognised – but the point was that you weren’t listening.

“What, why?” Willy frowned, pouting and swigging a bottle of something. Michael didn’t like the look on his face.

“Because.”

“Because you’re scared?” 

His silence was enough to answer Willy’s question.

“You need help.” 

Michael frowned, “Like, mental help or–”

“Me help.”

“I just said no.”

“I heard you but I’m electing to ignore that and follow my own instincts.” Willy flashed him a grin and Michael felt his stomach drop, watching and unable to move as his ex-teammate walked to his other side, coming to stand next to you and whisper something in your ear that had you recoiling, your head gently bumping against Michael’s shoulder. He pretended not to notice, but he couldn’t help drinking in your reaction.

He had no clue what Willy had done or said, but he could feel his heart beating in his chest, and he was half-expecting you to turn around and ask if he was okay, but, much to his own intrigue, you shook your head, an awkward apologetic expression on your face.

Willy shrugged, but there was a crease between his brows. And because Michael knew him so well, he could tell something had been proven. 

Willy then reappeared at Michael’s other side, and you returned talking to who you’d been chatting to before, a triumphant smirk on his face.

“What?” 

Willy said nothing.

“Dude.” Michael could feel himself getting agitated, his hand was tapping anxiously against his thigh and because he was so fully intent on focusing on Willy, he was completely ignorant to the way you’d turned around at the sudden shaking, eyes zeroing in on his spare hand with confusion. Willy noticed it, though. He also noticed the way your hand twitched before clearly thinking the better of it and turning back around.

“I just told her one of my friends thinks she’s cute.”

Michael blinked, nervous.

“Point is,” Willy continued, “That that was obviously untrue. I mean, she’s cute, but she never even thought twice about it. Didn’t even turn around. Said she’d rather not and stayed standing with you.”

“That proves nothing.”

“It proves she’s not looking at other people.”

“Barely. You’re clutching at straws.”

Willy rolled his eyes, “Okay. But you better do something about it before someone else comes along and she chooses them, okay? Because it’ll happen.”

—

You were about ninety percent sure that you were one of the only people in the entire cafe who didn’t have a hangover right now. It might have something to do with the fact that you hadn’t had much to drink last night because you wanted to be as sober as possible just to soak in as much of Michael as you could and actually have a chance of remembering it.

You had no idea when you’d see him next. He was leaving for a training camp in a few days and you had a feeling the next time you’d see each other you’d be in Pittsburgh, all being well. You still had to sort out your paperwork and the whole visa situation still had to come through before anything could happen, but other than that, both of your timelines were one giant question mark.

That seemed to weigh on you heavily now you were sitting opposite each other. His hair was slightly scruffy, none of the gel in from earlier, and he had bags under his eyes – a telltale sign of his own hangover.

He’d acted weirdly last night. You couldn’t really put it into words, but since walking into that bar it was like he wasn’t entirely there all the time. Like he was distracted. He kept checking his phone, and before he’d met up with you for breakfast he’d appeared with a gift bag with a book in it and smiled each time he caught sight of it.

You had a horrible feeling that he was seeing someone. It’d make sense, even if it did come as a bit of a shock considering the four week mark, but who could blame him? He was a catch if you did say so yourself. 

You’d tried to put the bubbling anxiety at that idea to the back of your mind, but the more you looked at him, it only felt weirder. 

“How’s Carolina?” 

The touch of his fingers ghosted your shoulder, a blazing reminder from the night before.

You blinked, goosebumps rising on your skin at the mere memory. What the fuck?

He looked up, nodding with a grin, “I love it so far. I’ve met up with some of the guys that stayed in Raleigh and I’m getting along with everyone well so far. It’s really pretty there, too. How’s Toronto treating you without me?”

You flicked your food over on your plate, “As well as it usually does. It’s quieter, though.”

The conversation wasn’t anything you hadn’t already talked about over text or FaceTime; it was something you kept coming back to when you just wanted to hear him talk. You weren’t entirely sure when that had started. You paused. You’d done for months, even back when he was in Toronto.

This time, when he answered, he leaned closer over the table, and for a brief moment you thought he was going to admit a secret or pick something off your face, but when you looked up he was doing It again.

And this time you didn’t shy away from it. In fact, if the spike in heart rate was anything to go by, you revelled in the attention. And the revelation just took your breath away.

“I know this might sound weird…” He trailed off, eyes carefully gliding over features, and although you didn’t know it was possible, your heart rate skyrocketed, the pounding tingling the tips of your fingers and causing a raucous rushing in your ears. Without even realising it, you’d leant closer across the table, too, the only thing separating the two of you being the condiments rack.

He seemed taken aback at your proximity, eyes widening and his mouth stuttering, “I do miss you, y’know.” He whispered, cheeks reddening almost immediately.

You blinked, allowing your mind to digest the gravity of his admission. Something happened: it felt like something in your brain sighed or something in your chest loosened, something you weren’t even sure existed suddenly being clicked to life, and you smiled shyly. You were completely unfamiliar with what it was or what it meant, but you knew there was a point of no return: you’d be chasing whatever this was for the rest of your life, without a doubt.

Where you’d felt jilted moments earlier, something evened out – it felt smooth, there was no ache when you breathed, and your mind cleared, the only thing on repeat…him. 

Oh.

There was a zing straight down your spine, and you shivered at the feeling of it.

“I’m gonna say something even weirder…” Your voice came out shaky, shakier than you’d initially like it to be, and he automatically glanced at your mouth because of it, “I miss you too.”

He blinked, stifling a grin by placing his hand over his mouth, and you took the opportunity to change the subject, not wanting to dwell on anything too long for fear of what it could mean, what it could lead to, “Are you gonna let your hair grow out?”

He pulled a face, his hand moving to his hair self-consciously, “You don’t like it?”

“No, I like it.”

“What about the beard?”

You hesitated, “I…Do you want my opinion?”

He pulled a face, like you were crazy for even asking, “I literally asked to get your opinion.”

“Keep it like that, then.”

“What’s this about my hair, though?”

“Nothing.” You breathed a laugh, wondering how an innocent question led to this entire ordeal, “You look good.”

Silence.

His cutlery clinked against his plate as he looked up, your own hand frozen midair around your cup of coffee, him staring at you incredulously and you staring at a stain on the table, a little too afraid to look at him. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t acted like you’d told him a monumental piece of news that’s changed the entire trajectory of his life. It also shouldn’t be too much of a big deal because he’d told you you looked beautiful before, and that hadn’t been an issue.

You broke first, taking a sip and mustering the courage to look at him once more, raising your eyebrows at the utterly shocked look on his face.

“I look good?” He reiterated, speaking each syllable with his entire body. His breathing was shallow, and for a moment you worried if he was about to pass out.

“Yeah.” This time it was your turn to act like he was crazy for asking, “You always look good.”

He breathed a mirthless laugh that bled easily into one of amusement as he pointed a finger at you, “You were so checking me out last night.”

You blinked, replying blankly, “If you’d have left it five more seconds I’d have lost my mind.”

He grinned mischievously, risking a wink, “Duly noted.”

You rolled your eyes, scratching your eyebrow to try and hide your face with your hand as you stacked your plate on top of his, “You ready to go?”

“Yeah.” 

For some reason you hadn’t pushed yourself up and out of your chair very quickly. By the time Michael had tucked his chair under the table and was standing next to yours, his head turned to the side – distracted – you’d only just finished tidying up the table. And because his attention had been stolen, and because he was standing so close to your chair, when you finally did make a move to stand up…

His head snapped in your direction, the sudden motion making you flinch backwards, legs bumping awkwardly against the table, and his hand shot out, flattening against your back. If you were more honest you’d have said you didn’t need the stability: all you’d done was knock your calves against the wooden legs – but the sudden, unprompted touch on the small of your back had you freezing where you were, breath hitching in your chest against your will. 

You were watching his face before, trying to pick out exactly what had caught his eye, but this time you could see when the realisation of what had happened set in: his mouth parted like he was about to say something, and his eyes were wide – probably slightly alarmed at the almost-stumble he’d seen in his periphery – and was, for lack of better words, practically hugging you to him. You were forced (though there wasn’t a single cell in your body that felt reluctant) to catch yourself in his arms to prevent yourself from being catapulted straight into him. 

He wasn’t wearing a hat. Usually he did, but today he’d left the hotel room without one, and you’d never really thought twice about it or missed its presence more than you did at that moment. A hat would have given you space to think, time to not spend looking straight at him, time to not fantasise about what would happen if either of you happened to lean in at the same time, but–

He’d folded first, his gaze flicking down to your mouth for a brief moment before returning to your eyes, the palm on your back not wavering one bit. He didn’t even take a step back to let you stand up properly, but instead stood there, holding you, waiting. Waiting for some indication from you that, yes, it’s okay to close the gap.

Your heart was thundering in your chest, and you were sure he could feel it against your ribs if he concentrated hard enough, but you couldn't bring yourself to focus on that for too long. Not when the sight of him in front of you was so enticing.

You inhaled quickly, wanting to say something but not quite finding the words, and he waited once more. He only seemed to do something when you chanced a glance at his mouth, not even intending to, but also not doing anything to stop yourself from sneaking a look, and his head dipped–

“Oh, hey guys.”

It happened quickly and a lot less clumsily as to how it had started: Michael blinked at the sudden interruption, seamlessly stepping backwards and pulling you with him, his hand dropping from your back once you were safely on your feet. You were a little slower, only managing to keep your breaths even and to turn your attention away from him in time to see exactly who it was that had just shown up.

Only, your bewilderment and vertigo increased when you set your eyes on the familiar figure taking a seat on the table next to yours, completely and utterly oblivious to what almost transpired. 

Sidney Crosby was sitting grinning in your direction, and your mind went blank for a whole host of different reasons. The main one being Sidney Crosby was grinning at you. You were vaguely aware of Michael’s hurried motions, placing your hat on top of your head after a quick greeting. You heard your name, and you smiled politely. 

Your face didn’t feel like your own, you were aware of moving your cheek muscles, but everything felt strangely foreign.

And then Sid was looking at your cap, and suddenly you were back in your own body.

“Cool hat.” He pointed, leaning sideways on his chair, and your smile broadened.

“Yeah, Pittsburgh Penguins, maybe you’ve heard of them?”

He laughed, feet kicking slightly under the table, and you felt Michael stiffen next to you, “I don’t think I’m familiar, no. They any good?”

You shrugged, “Won a couple of cups, made us locals proud. There’s this guy, Sidney Crosby, he’s pretty cool.”

He pretended to pull a face, “Oh, I know that guy.” He sighed, shaking his head.

“You don’t like him?”

“Hate that guy.” 

***

“What the fuck.” Taylor all but yelped through the screen once you’d done a quick rehash of events, before falling completely silent, her head in her hands.

You nodded, “I know. I got Sidney Cros–”

“Fuck Sidney Crosby, babe. With all due respect, fuck that guy.”

You swallowed, “Yeah, okay.”

“What are you gonna do about Michael?”

“We haven’t really talked since the wedding.” You mumbled sadly.

***

A meal was all you had. In three months, all you managed to snag of his time was a home cooked meal in your new apartment, and even then he couldn’t stay for more than a few hours. You didn’t just have to worry over the fact that things had clearly changed since the wedding, but you had to worry about cooking him a meal that adhered to his plan of what he could and couldn’t eat, and it had to be edible.

So, it was safe to say you were feeling a lot of pressure. Cooking at work was completely different to cooking at home: not only were you usually too exhausted to even cook something that nice when you got in, but there was something personal about cooking for people you know. It always felt like they were judging what you’d made, trying to decide if you were good at your job or not. Sometimes it felt like a make or break deal. If they didn’t like your food, they wouldn’t like you.

And while that had never been the case for Michael, tonight felt different. For starters, it felt like you’d had to fight tooth and nail to even get him to come over for a few hours, which was new. 

In all honesty, you were even hesitant in the entire…ordeal. Because that’s what it was, really, it wasn’t a quick catch-up, it was an ordeal. The last time you’d felt this nervous was when you were back in school, and gosh you didn’t miss the feeling at all.

He knocked three times and you had to stop stirring the pasta (shocker!) sauce to answer the door.

“Hey.” He sighed, flashing a tired smile, and in that instant all your anxieties seemed to diminish. They hadn’t disappeared completely, but it was as though the volume had been turned down, and you could breathe easily.

“Hi.” You answered almost breathlessly, and his brows jumped up his forehead in amusement, the small crinkle of a smile making an appearance, “I feel bad for pestering you now. You look exhausted.”

He shook his head, “Don’t, I’m glad I came.”

And then he did something he’d never done to you before: he leaned in and he pressed a delicate kiss on your cheek. The exact place he’d touched with his lips seemed to flame before you even registered what he’d done, and in that same moment, you were catapulted back to Toronto. Tucked next to each other under a blanket, an episode of The Mentalist on, both of you utterly immersed in the plot. 

You blinked, not entirely sure where that had come from, and grinned, his scent filling your senses, soon to bleed into your apartment and your couch and your cushions. The one thing you loved about having him around was that you could tell he’d been here even days later: whether it be the faint smell of his cologne when you sat down or the plants that had been purposefully switched around on the windowsill – something you tended to notice when you finally crashed, and it never failed to put a smile on your face. 

“This place is adorable.” He commented, easing himself onto the couch, feet up and reorganising the cushions around him, and all you could do was stand off to the side, simply watching him get settled.

“Adorable wasn’t what I was going for.” 

“What were you going for?”

“Cosy.”

He hummed, tearing his eyes away from you to have another quick glance around, “It’s that too.” And then he rounded back to you, still hanging around in between the living room and the kitchen, not really wanting to leave him alone but much too devoted to the food to even think about asking him to follow you in there, “How are you doing?”

You shrugged, “I’m really happy here.”

He fell asleep straight after he finished eating.

***

His stuff was everywhere: boxes and bags stacked and piled and thrown in the right rooms; zips unzipped and lids open, objects and clothes and cutlery scattered across floors like he’d picked up a handful and left a trail of nuts for you to track his steps. 

It was a mess, but it was a reassuring mess. You hadn’t really believed him until he’d shown up at the airport, and even then it had taken three days for you to actually comprehend the luck of it all. It took you fourteen minutes to walk to his apartment, now. Not over an hour on the plane, not counting the taxis and waiting for your luggage.

Quite frankly, it blew your mind.

It had taken you so long to adjust to even being friends with him, to then adjusting to him moving to Raleigh when you were still in Toronto, to then adjusting to you in Pittsburgh and him still in Raleigh…and now you were both in Pittsburgh and it had taken you approximately three days to get used to it. Not weeks, not months where you’d keep forgetting you couldn’t just show up outside his apartment.

You’d caught yourself laughing at it on more than one occasion.

For now, though, despite the welcome mess (as proof of life), you were looking straight at him. You’d caught yourself doing that a lot lately, but there was a reason this time – not just a genuine wonder at his mere presence. 

He walked back into the room, arms stretched out in front of him, clearly assessing the new jersey, and you swore, right then and there, that you’d never loved him more. For all his shit-talking on the Pens over the years, he was now wearing their jersey, much to your appreciation.

“I like it.” You spoke first from your position on his couch, your arm in the box of merch and kit he’d been given (he’d allowed you to have free reign over some of the items, all you had to do was ask him first), your teeth briefly scraping over your bottom lip. It wasn’t the first time he’d worn a black jersey, but it was the first time he’d worn one with a Penguin on the front and yellow text that spelt his name on the back, “A lot.”

You were grinning, and when he looked up to see you shaking with glee, he shook his head, huffing an amused laugh, “Of course you do.”

“I still don’t think I’ve gotten used to you not wearing blue yet, though.” You muttered, and he nodded, mouth flattening but face somehow still smiling.

“I do miss it, but I think I’m getting used to it.” He shrugged, before grabbing the front of the jersey by the NHL logo and chucking it off his shoulders and throwing it straight at your face, “You can keep that one if you want, I’m not short of any.” You heard him say, his voice slightly muffled by the fabric, and you pulled it from over your eyes, hand wrapped in the material – to see his cheeks flush at your expression. It seemed to worsen when you dropped your eyes to his bare torso.

“Thanks.” You averted your eyes quickly, instead focusing on smoothing the jersey out in your lap, fingers tracing the penguin before flipping it over for his name. Out of the corner of your eye you saw him reach into the box next to you and pull out a few t-shirts before a cap was in his hands and he was brandishing the logo in your face.

“Have you seen one of these before?” He asked, pointing to the circular black and yellow logo: the Pens motif was in the top half of the circle with two crossed-over sticks in the bottom half, and you shook your head.

“I don’t think so.”

He spun it around in his fist, eyes flicking from the hat to your face, “You want it?”

You hesitated, “Are you sure you’re allowed to let me have some of this stuff? I feel like they’re giving you different kits because you’re actually part of the organisation and that normal people aren’t supposed to have them.”

He blinked, jaw clenching as he took in your words. And before you could even say anything else, he placed the hat rather lopsidedly on top of your head and rifled back through the pile of clothes for the sheet of paper before throwing himself down next to you, the piece of paper held out so you could read it too.

You felt a bit pathetic at how quickly you felt your pulse start to pick up at the contact: his entire torso was leant against your shoulder, and although it meant you got an unobstructed view of…everything, and although you appreciated it, at the same time it felt a bit cruel. Like dangling a bone in front of a dog.

“It doesn’t say I can’t give it away.” He mumbled, turning to face you, his forehead bumping the brim of the cap. You blinked in surprise, but didn’t miss the way his eyes just casually flickered down to your lips, or the way his hand dropped down, still clutching the sheet, once he realised you’d not actually been looking at the words.

He’d caught you looking at him.

You cleared your throat, cheeks flaring but not too ashamed considering  you’d just caught him looking at you, and his eyes zipped back to your face, an awkward silence ensuing. Neither of you moved. You didn’t know if you were too scared to ruin the moment or if you were physically frozen by what could have happened – could still happen. Stillness seemed to be key. His breath was fanning softly against your face, and you were sure the same went for you. 

It was eerily similar to the whole Sid-situation. Only this time you were in the privacy of his own home, he was notably shirtless and the risk of getting interrupted was low, but not entirely zero.

You felt your own lips part at the same time his head moved an inch closer as though he was testing the waters, but before you could even think about leaning in, his mouth was moving.

What?

His cheeks reddened, and the blush seemed to travel down his neck and bleed into his collarbones, his attention now flicking between you and something off to the side, clearly too nervous to even look at you and speak.

“I asked if you were free on Thursday?” He whispered, his gaze travelling back down to the piece of paper still in his hand.

He hadn’t moved away from you but the stab of disappointment at the lack of his attention and the realisation that he’d chosen not to kiss you was profoundly disturbing. You didn’t like it, the way you practically yearned for him. The idea that your enjoyment in life was tied to what a random man did or didn’t do was absurd, and if you were being honest with yourself, you did feel a bit pathetic that you’d let it get to that point.

He was your best friend, for fuck’s sake. You weren’t supposed to actually fall in love with him – that was something that only happened in the movies or in novels. 

But…he was kind, he was funny, he was charming, he clearly cared for you. 

Did he feel the same way? It was impossible to tell in your eyes. Sure, it had just looked like he wanted to eat you, and you’d caught him looking at you like you hung the entire galaxy before, but who’s to say he didn’t look at other people like that?

And in all honesty, you’d spent so much time trying to not look at him that you’d given him plenty of opportunities to (if he did) sneak glances at you when you weren’t looking.

You sighed, folding the jersey, acting like his skin on your forearm wasn’t burning. Like you were completely normal being in his presence, “I should be, yeah. How come?”

He raised a brow, shyly turning back to you, “I was wondering if you wanted to go out?”

Something fluttered in your chest – it felt an awful lot like hope, and when you answered, your voice sounded off. You weren’t breathless, so to say, but your voice cracked and sounded ropey to your own ears, “Go out where?”

The question almost felt futile, especially with the wry smile he just sent your way. You had a feeling, but even thinking the feeling out loud in your head felt like you were about to jinx it, so you fought to keep your mind quiet. Everything else though (heart rate, blood rushing, the feel of his fingers tapping rhythmically against the inside of your wrist), that was loud. 

His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheek when he looked down at where he was delicately touching your wrist. His motions stopped, but the warmth never left.

“With me, I was hoping.” He didn’t look at you as he spoke, and you held your breath the entire time, a part of you wanting to make sure you’d just heard him correctly and weren’t imagining it, “Like a date.”

“A date.” You echoed, flipping your wrist over completely so your palm was pointing to the ceiling. He didn’t tear his eyes away from your hand, but you could feel his heart thumping through his back from where he’d pressed himself against your shoulder and a smile fell naturally on your face. It wasn’t a big smile, but it was soft. The kind of smile that was only ever really reserved for him.

His hand didn’t falter in its motions as he dragged his fingers down the inside of your wrist to swirl a pattern on your palm, fingers tracing the lines and creases gently. 

It took everything in you not to scream.

He just hummed, and when you tore your gaze away from the side of his face – he wasn’t giving much away – his chest was thumping in time with his pulse. Was it possible for nerves to make him catatonic? You’d never seen him this nervous yet so calm and collected at the same time.

You inhaled, feeding your starved lungs, and tried not to shudder when his fingers slowed only to tangle and interlock with yours. It was like he was testing it out, seeing how you fit together, whether your personalities blended as well as your bodies did–

You felt yourself blush at that insinuation, and squeezed his hand, prompting him to look at you instead of away.

He did so slowly, first peeking at you out of the corner of his eye with a small breath of relief when he saw you weren’t annoyed. Then he turned his entire head towards you, leaning back so he wouldn’t knock into the hat again, and his mouth twisted, still awaiting your reply.

“Have you been wanting to ask that for a while, or…”

His stare went blank, and you could tell her was trying not to roll his eyes at your teasing questions, obviously stalling to get a rise out of him. It was working, “Put me out of my misery first.”

“Okay.”

He blinked, leaning forwards slightly, “Okay I’ll go on a date or okay I’ll put you out of your misery?”

“Both.”

He smiled, using his free hand to swipe at his nose and look away briefly, flustered. His chest was still pink and blotchy and you nudged him playfully with your elbow, “Your turn.”

“Uh…” He hesitated, “maybe, like, since you told me I don’t look like a Michael.”

You stared at him, jaw unhinged and dropped in shock, “But that was–”

“Two-ish years ago, yeah.” He nodded, pulling a face at himself, “What can I say? You charmed me.”

“But I was rude to you..” 

“I wouldn’t say rude–”

“I wanted you to not like me.”

He froze, “You did?”

“Yeah.”

“It had the opposite effect.”

And then you laughed. Right in his face, not very loudly, but you laughed at him altogether, “You liked me when I couldn’t stand you, I would’ve said no.”

He rolled his eyes, flicking the underside brim of the cap he’d given you, “Good job I held out then, isn’t it? At what point would you have said yes?”

“When you left for Raleigh.”

“Wow.”

“You gotta remember, I was in a relationship for a while–”

“Oh, that guy.” He muttered, bitterly, "I think I blocked that out-"

You interrupted him, leaning closer to briefly press your mouth against his, effectively shutting him up. Even at the brief contact, and even as you were pulling away you could feel the relief of it dissipate from your shoulders, like a worn out elastic band had finally snapped. You paused, a breath away from him, and his eyes slowly blinked open having tried to chase your mouth.

Even despite that, he still maintained his grin, "That's a good tactic." He muttered, hand sliding up the side of your neck as his thumb slid gently and delicately across your jawbone. His eyes zeroed in on the motion, clearly enjoying the way your skin reacted to his touch, goosebumps rising to the surface and eliciting a shiver of pleasure from you.

It was barely three second of contact, but it had changed your genetic makeup.

He was addictive, even the smug look on his face as he pressed his forehead against yours, chin bumping towards yours. You held you breath in anticipation, eyes instinctively fluttering shut - it was difficult to ignore the pounding of your heart or the tingling beneath his fingers.

"Noted." You breathed, unable to help smiling at his tone, "You gonna make me wait until Thursday now-"

"It's rude to keep a lady waiting." Was his answer.

[watatsumiis]

Sitting in their lap - part 3

I'm really enjoying writing this series, so here's another part! :D

Content: Gender neutral reader (referred to as 'you'), described/implied to be physically smaller than most of the characters (simply because I am and that's how I project, but if you'd like an alternate version, send me an ask and I'll whip it up!), pre-established platonic relationships (though this may border into romantic if you consider physical affection to be that way, so be warned)

Part 1 - (Ft. Albedo, Al Haitham, Ayato, Arlecchino, Capitano, Childe)

Part 2 - (Ft. Dainsleif, Diluc, Dottore, Gorou, Itto, Kaeya)

Characters in this one: Kaveh, Kazuha, Lisa, Morax, Pantalone, Pierro

Kaveh is a bit of a squirmer - he loves being kept company though and will do anything he can to make sure you're comfortable. If he's particularly absorbed in a project, he may barely acknowledge you, but you'll find that he just absently starts to fidget and toy with you, stroking your hair and touching your face, tugging at your clothes, as if he's just making sure you're still here. Sometimes he may even ask for your opinions on what he's working on and will just absently chatter away to you. You don't have to listen super intently, he doesn't mind either way, it's just like he enjoys hearing the sound of his own voice.

Kazuha tends to get up and move around a lot, even when he seems to be settled. He finds that moving around can help get the creative juices flowing - but he'll still himself for a while if it seems like you're in need of some attention. He mutters to himself a lot and may even be working on more than one thing at once (sometimes even holding pencils in both hands), catching little snippets of inspiration before they're gone with the wind. Sometimes it seems like he's looking for your input on a quote or idea, but he always seems a little shocked/startled when you provide a response - but not at all displeased, he really likes having someone to share his ideas with. You notice that his writing tends to border into softer/fluffier sorts of stuff when you're sitting with him - perhaps the physical touch affects him more than he lets on.

Lisa thinks it's super cute and sweet of you to seek her out this way - she certainly doesn't mind having an excuse not to do her work (though it's not like she was going to do it in the first place). She'll chuckle and tease you a little, then settle in for the long haul. She may disturb every now and then to ask you if you need anything or if you can shift your position just a little, but other than that you're pretty much left alone - except for the odd occasion when she's particularly bored and might prod or poke you to make you squirm or giggle. She really does enjoy the company - it gets rather lonely in the library sometimes, especially when people are just dropping in and out for books.

Morax, despite his spiky, horned exterior, really enjoys some snuggles, regardless of his current temperament. The clashing of cold blooded dragon and warm blooded human can mean he has difficulty regulating his own temperature, so having something warm curled up in his lap is often just what he needs to even himself out. He'll curl his big tail around you and rest his chin atop your head - you swear you can feel some kind of purr resonating from somewhere deep in his chest. It's almost possessive, the way he curls his unnaturally tall form around you, puffing out a little sigh into your hair. If he happens to be in a talkative mood, you cuddling up to him may also prompt him into telling you a story or reciting a poem he heard long ago - his voice sounds different from behind those wickedly sharp fangs inside his mouth, but it's still unmistakably him. He'll always make a point to thank you for keeping him company once you get up to go (or if he has to go for whatever reason).

Pantalone acts aggrieved at first - don't take it as a personal slight, he's just dramatic. He'll quickly figure out how to continue his work around you (though you may get booted off if someone walks into his study) and you'll find that he starts to absently use you as a fidget toy, twirling your hair around gloved fingers and pressing his cheek lightly against you as he lets out a content hum from the back of his throat, so quiet that you almost feel like you imagined it. If it becomes a regular thing between you two, he may eventually organise for his workers to bring up extra snacks, and maybe a book or something to keep you occupied. His work is mind-numbingly boring and he doesn't really have any way to entertain you personally. He may get a little strict (or even downright mean) if you fidget and squirm too much, and will remind you "You're only in here because I'm gracious enough to allow you to occupy both my time and space. That opportunity can be taken back at any time." Meanie :(

Pierro has a bout of initial confusion and shock, but doesn't really let it show. He'll just let you climb into his lap, giving you this stern and vaguely-disapproving look as you do so, but he won't say anything or make any move to discipline or redirect you - that's pretty much him giving you the go-ahead. He'll hardly even acknowledge you, just working around you as he does what he needs to do. If anyone happens to walk in, he'll act like you're not even there, just go about his business as usual. His resting temperature is a little cool, but not to an unpleasant degree. You may find him setting a hand on your hip or back every nod and then so that you don't tumble off as he shifts his weight around or reaches for something on his desk, but other than that it's like you don't exist at all - unless you get too wriggly or start asking questions, in which case he just lifts you off of him and sets you on your feet somewhere off to the side of the chair like a mother cat repositioning a kitten.

Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagarise my writing! This includes posting translations to other sites.

[scorpioriesling]

Too Hot To Handle - Episode 4

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Characters featured: Reader, Feyre, Morrigan, Gwyn, Elain, Emerie, Amren, Cassian, Lucien, Eris, Tarquin, Rhysand, Helion, Azriel, & Tamlin

Warning(s): Nothing real crazy.

SR’s Note: Wine? Check. Cozy blanket? Check. Dog on my lap? Check. Alright... *cracks knuckles* let's get to it, then! Tags: @velarisdusk @lilah-asteria @starlightazriel @panther-girl-124

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

"Anybody have a makeup wipe?"

Elain's hand reaches out, towelette in hand from the makeup mirror beside you. You take it from her, meeting her apologetic stare.

"Thanks," you mutter, and wipe at the gentle fallout of your eyeshadow beneath your eyes. From your other side, Feyre sighs, gazing at your reflection in your mirror from her seat. She sounds as dejected as you feel right about now.

"Damn, mami!" Morrigan's rich voice fills the bathroom, and you glance toward the doorway as she strides in, clad in the skimpiest of red bikinis as she raises her martini glass above her head. "No wonder Lucien has been sweating it out all day, huh!" She flashes you an only-joking, award winning smile as she strides over to you, many of the other girls engrossed in their own conversations to take in the one unfolding before them.

"No, Mor, he's been sweating it out because Rhys has been keeping him pre-occupied at the outdoor gym all day," Feyre says, her brows furrowing slightly as Mor leans over your shoulder to inspect her own makeup in your mirror. You shoot Feyre a thankful glance.

"Has he seen this number yet?" Mor's fingers hook under the strap of your simple black dress, her brows wiggling as she stares at you in the mirror. You roll your eyes.

"No, no he hasn't." You say with a say. "I actually haven't seen him... all day..." you shrug sorrowfully. After learning last night that you were chosen by the newcomer for the date tonight, Lucien had been acting strange.

"Oh my," Elain sighs from your side. "He might be... upset." She says thoughtfully. Feyre and Mor turn their heads to her, seemingly just realizing she was a part of this conversation too.

"I mean, I'd be pretty pissed if someone with a name like Azriel was trying to bag my lady," Mor says. You unscrew your mascara, opening your eyes wide to apply it to your lashes. "He sounds sexy as hell already."

"Well, I don't even know him yet," you clip. "And, yeah, maybe his name makes him sound suave, but... I really, really like Lucien, guys. I don't know if one date with a new guy is going to change that." You shrug, moving to work on your other eye. "And besides, I'm not Lucien's "lady", I mean, not officially, anyway."

"So, you're not a couple?" Elain asks. Feyre leans forward, peering at her around you.

"I think what she means is, we've only been here a little while, usually people become official after they leave the retreat," she explains, looking up at you. "Right?"

"I dunno," Morrigan drawls. "He seems pretty attached to me."

You blush slightly at her words, realizing just how close you and Lucien had gotten. Spending so much time together, getting to know one another, and you hadn't even cost the group money yet!

But, now you were being whisked away to a beachside picnic with another male.

"Is he really your type though?" Elain prods, and Mor looks at her quizzically. You continue with your makeup.

"I mean, not typically, no," You reason. "But, that doesn't really matter now, I mean... I met him, I like him. It's not something that really bothers me."

At some point, you hadn't realized Elain stood up until Morrigan plopped down in the chair she had been sitting in. You only took a few more minutes to fuss over your hair, remembering Lucien's request not to look "too good" from last night. He said it with a light heart, but you could tell from his avoidance today that he was uncomfortable. Elain was right, he probably was upset.

"Good evening, ladies."

Every head turns to the light up cone, responding simultaneously with one another.

"Good evening, Y/N. Are you ready for your date with Azriel tonight?" Lana asks. You feel multiple eyes on you -- all the girl groups in their respective huddles as they finished getting ready for dinner.

You gulp. "Um, yes."

"Good. Please make your way to the beach, everything is set up already, and the new member is ready to meet you."

Feyre and Mor walk you out, reassuring you everything will be fine. You look between them, hoping to convey that everything is in fact not fine.

"If you see Lucien... just tell him it'll be alright, please?" Feyre places a comforting hand on your shoulder, giving you a light squeeze.

"You can tell him when you return," she says, winking at you. Mor brushes your hair back one last time before you wave to your friends, walking across the concrete path toward the beach. You spotted Eris and Helion in the pool, but glancing toward the gym -- it was dark.

Where was he?

You didn't have time now to find out.

Continuing toward the beach, your adrenaline started flowing when the dusty white sand invaded the flats of the cute Tory Burch sandals you were wearing. Your speed slowed, and you looked out at the dusk filled sky, the calming sound of waves lapping at the shore.

That's when you spotted it.

Well, him, rather.

And, oh boy... did Lana do you dirty.

･ﾟ: *

"Hello," you say, your voice coming out quieter than you'd hoped. You almost thought he didn't hear you at first, but he turns to fully face you, a wide smile spanning across his face as he sees you approaching.

"Hello there, gorgeous," he stands, extending a hand to you. You politely take it, and he presses a featherlight kiss to the back of it with his... very, soft lips.

"Please," he motions, guiding you to the blanket laid out on the soft ground. He only lets go when you've sat, taking in the array of fruits, cheeses, and wine laid before you.

"My name is Azriel," he says, and you meet his gaze. You smile, hating the tiny bit of excitement in your stomach at the tenor of his voice.

"Very nice to meet you, Azriel," you say, and he chuckles. "I'm Y/N."

"My name sounds lovely on your lips," he says, and you blush. How did Lana know you had a history with men just like this? The smooth-talking, dark-haired, handsome kind...

"You're quite adorable, you have to know that," he continues, reaching for the wine before you as well as the bottle opener.

"Isn't that why you picked me for the date?" You lull, trying to keep up with his level of suave. Mor was right... this would be harder than you thought.

"Oh, without a doubt," he says, shaking his head as he screws the metal into the cork. Clad in a loose, navy silk button down, you can see the way his biceps flex as he works against the bottle's tight hole.

....Gods, don't even go there.

"Well, what drew you to this retreat?" You ask, trying to keep your tone even. You smoothed out the stretchy fabric of your mini dress as the cork came out with a soft pop.

"I saw the application out for a mid-season arrival," he begins, making to grab both wine glasses and balance them between his fingers in one hand. You gulp nervously, watching the clear liquid flow into the glasses as his long digits held the bases securely.

"...and, I haven't had much luck with women in the past, so I figured why not try it out this way?" He continues. He hands your glass to you, a tiny tingle passing through you as your fingers brush his for a moment. You raise an eyebrow, taking a swig from the glass before looking at him once more.

"You? Have had trouble, with women?" You ask. He shrugs, tipping his glass back and swallowing hard. You unashamedly watch the apple of his throat bob with the action, and bite your lip nervously.

"You're surprised?" He asks, holding the glass lazily as his arm drapes over his knee. He scans the plates, finding a cheese cube and popping it into his mouth.

"I mean... yeah, I guess so. You're... well, I mean you're really attractive, so I just kind of figured..." You trail off, not really sure what to say. He chews slowly, peering at you with his beautiful hazel eyes sidelong.

You grab a cracker, nibbling on it to avoid getting too caught up.

"I'll take the compliment from the pretty girl," he chuckles, and your cheeks flush again. "But, I can't say I'm surprised that someone has already coupled up with you." He says, grabbing an apple slice this time.

"I mean," you swallow your cracker, and take another sip of your wine. "We're in couples, but, nothing is really like, official yet-" You say, reaching for another Ritz and stuffing it into your mouth to avoid saying something you'd regret.

"Oh? So, you're not really... tied-down, is it?" He asks seductively, and you cough, nearly choking on the dry cracker you're praying works itself down your esophagus. He laughs, and you can't help but enjoy the lovely sound.

"I... no, I, uh... what I meant, is, the guy I'm in a relationship with, we're not like... labelled, or anything..." You explain, gulping down more wine. You begin to feel a light buzz -- how much wine did he put in these glasses?

"So... it would be alright if we took advantage of the rule-free conditions on this date, then?" He asks, suddenly a bit closer than before. His natural oak scent fills the air, his hand resting casually atop yours on the blanket. You gaze up into his hazelhalf-lidded eyes, the last remnants of daylight highlighting the various colors in them. He's so close... you can spot every freckle on his cheeks... his hair is practically tickling your forehead...

He reaches to take your wine glass from you, and though the thought was there, both of your hands glance toward it when some sloshes out at the contact and runs down the side of the glass, dribbling onto his fingers.

He chuckles, setting it down behind him. "Little sticky, but, I can overlook it." He smiles genuinely.

Suddenly, a memory flashes through your mind. The boat taking off on the first day; the lovely embrace of those strong hands around you when you stumbled; the gorgeous smile, handsome male that was there from the start, already making you laugh from the second you'd laid your eyes on him.

He was yours. He was your sticky fingers. Not Azriel.

You return to the present, your hand lightly splaying across Azriel's smooth chest, slightly exposed from the few undone buttons of his shirt. He halts his forward inching, his hand tucking your hair behind your ear stopping mid-motion.

"Azriel, I... can't."

His eyes search yours, the only sounds coming from the waves crashing against the moonlit-shore. The small beach lanterns have kicked on, illuminating the space, creating the perfect date for two under the stars.

But, this wasn't who you wanted to share it with.

"Alright," he says after a few silent moments, a look of defeat crossing his face at your rejection. He moves back, his hand retreating from yours, as he runs a hand through his hair. "I mean... I tried, right?" He grins lopsided at you, and you smile warmly at him once more, taking his hand in yours.

"I'm flattered that you chose me," you say, eyes roaming over his handsome face once more. "I truly, didn't think I'd be picked. This was a very nice date, and a nice night that I spent meeting you," you continue. He chews on his lip, his eyes still raking over you and closing softly when you lean in.

You press a small kiss to his smooth cheek. "But, I think you're meant for someone else, maybe you'll meet them when we get back. And, I think I'm meant for someone else too."

･ﾟ: *

Walking back from your date with Azriel was quite pleasant, actually. He asked you about what brought you to the retreat, and you indulged him in a little preview of what to expect when he got to the villa. He seemed excited, especially at the mention of a few of the single girls still looking for someone.

What was not so pleasant, was seeing the group divided when you got back.

Around the firepit, you passed the group of guys first. You felt safe meeting the eyes of Rhysand, Tarquin, Helion even -- but looking around, your eyes never met the heterochromial pair that you'd adored so much.

"Hey guys," you say, and Rhysand stands to greet you with an embrace.

"Hey!" He says cheerfully, others standing to greet the newcomer. Azriel looks from person to person, sticking his hand out and introducing himself with a smile.

"Where's-" You begin, and Rhys lets you go to look at you directly.

"I honestly, have not seen him since the gym earlier. He skipped dinner," he says, hands up in surrender. Your face falls, and Rhys only smiles lightly at you.

"So, I take it the date didn't change anything?" He asks, and you shake your head. You watch his eyes as they linger just over your shoulder, and he jerks his chin to the cabana across the pool deck behind you.

"He'll turn up, but, I think the girls are waiting on a "full report" or somethin'... that's what Feyre was saying earlier anyways." You nod silently, chewing on your lip before meeting Azriel's eye.

"You good if I leave you to fend for yourself?" You joke half-heartedly, and Cassian claps the newest villa member on the shoulder.

"Oh, he'll fit in just fine. Go on, I'm sure the other ladies are waiting to talk with you!" Cassian smiles, and you return it, stopping only when Rhys catches your shoulder before you walk off.

"Hey," he says calmly. "...take a deep breath, okay?" You do, the tension in your shoulders dissipating as you realize how uptight you'd been all day.

"Everything will be fine, I'm sure he'll come back around later, alright?" He winks, and you grin at him hopefully before making way toward the girls.

･ﾟ: *

"Was he kind?"

"Did he try to kiss you?"

"Is he really that handsome up close?"

The rapid fire questions from all of the girls was starting to feel more like a cross-examination, and less like a recap of your date with Azriel.

"Guyssss, guys, chillax," Mor drawls, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Giving me a damn headache, I can only imagine being Y/N right now." She squeezes her eyes shut, and you take a deep breath.

"Listen, guys, the date was lovely, and yes, he truly is handsome," you say, meeting all of their intrigued gazes. "...but he just isn't the one for me, I was just thinking of Lucien, and that wasn't fair to do to Azriel. Maybe he will meet one of you and just, know." You shrug, getting a few awws from the girls.

"Did he say who he was sharing a bed with tonight?" Gwyn asks quietly, and you meet her turquoise irises with a look of realization. You hadn't even thought about that aspect yet.

"No," you respond, and make to stand. Looking around, not all of the girls were actually here.

"I really need to find Lucien, do you guys know... where...?" You trail off, a few of the girls shaking their heads. You sigh, waving your goodbye to the group and making way toward the bedroom inside. Feyre follows you in, and sits on the bed you and Lucien share. She toys nervously with the end of her braid, chewing on the inside of her lip. You're slipping into more comfortable clothing when you halt, noticing her shift in behavior.

"What's... going on?" You ask timidly. Feyre fidgets on the matress, looking everywhere but you. She stands, walking over to look in the bathroom, closets, everywhere before sitting close on the bed with you again.

"Y/N... I need to tell you about something I heard today." She says, her crystal eyes wide in seriousness. You cross your legs beside her, prepared to listen.

"I... I heard Elain today. At dinner." She stammers. You nod for her to continue, and she starts picking at her braid again.

"She was... talking to Amren, I don't think she knew I could hear her, but she was... she was saying she was going to move in on Lucien. Tonight." Your eyes grow wide in fear, and Feyre rests a hand over yours.

"Now, we both know Lucien, I don't think he'd simply-"

"Feyre, I need to find him. Now."

You spring up from the bed, slipping on your Birkenstocks before making for the door. Feyre follows you, and you run past the group of girls still at the cabana. Feyre stops chasing after you when she reaches them.

You recieve many confused shouts, a few of the guys staring from the other side of the pool. You run, as fast as you can, around every corner of the villa, looking past every bush. Where would she have taken him?

You round the final corner, a little too quickly and the edge of your rubber show catches on the tiled wall, sending you flying toward the ground. You cry out, your knees hitting the pavement as you skid forward, the palms of your hands screaming in pain at the impact. You turn your head to the side, blinking back tears as your gaze comes back into focus.

That's when you see it.

Lucien, the male you'd ached for all day. He was there, right before you -- holding Elain against the wall, his hands pinning hers beside her head. You look between the two of them, and Elain meets your eye, smiling cruelly at you before giggling and biting her lip, Lucien's face so close to hers.

He finally catches sight of you in a heap on the ground, the tears running down your cheek as you gawk at the scene before you silently. Immediately dropping her hands, he rushes over to you.

"Oh my Gods, Y/N-"

"Don't," you bite out. He rears back, a pained look on his usually so joyous face. "You... just, don't touch me." You glare at him, and his eyes lower painfully.

"Y/N... it's not what it looks like, I swear-"

"It was, exactly, what it looked like," Elain strides over, smirking as she looks down at you. You stare hatefully up at her, and she only shrugs, stepping over you and making her way back to the villa.

"My bed will be empty later!" she calls over her shoulder. Your eyes focus on the ground before you, small drops staining the concrete wet with your tears.

After a few long silent moments, Lucien clears his throat. "Y/N, you have to trust me, it really wasn't-"

"Wasn't what, Lucien? You holding another girl in a private alley against a wall, inches from breaking a rule with her when you're already with me?" You ask, another stream falling down your cheek. He kneels beside you, and you back up a few inches.

"Y/N, I promise I was just trying to get her off of me, she wouldn't stop; all night, she's been on and on about how you told her I'm not even your type, and we..." he huffs, his brow furrowing. "She said you told her we weren't actually a couple."

You scoff. "Oh don't turn this back on me, right now. Why would you believe any of that, Lucien? Have you ever, ever seen me talk to that girl anyway?" You ask, and he sits back on his hands, thinking quietly for a moment.

"No. No, I guess not-"

"So what. She overheard me before the date earlier saying that yes, you're not my typical type." Hurt flashes in his eyes, and he looks down. "I don't care, Lucien -- I like you, a lot." Your voice cracks on the last word, and he sits up straight, placing his hand on your knee.

"Y/N..."

"Well, I did, anyway," you sniff, wiping your nose with the sweatshirt sleeve closed around your fist. "Until I saw you pinning another girl against the wall." You shake your head.

"I promise it wasn't like that..."

"Whatever. Most relationships don't actually make it out of places like these, anyways." You scoff, and Lucien stands, grabbing your wrists and tugging you up with him. You stand, his eyes boring into yours as his hands wrap strongly around the small of your back.

"Y/N, please don't talk like that... I want to make it out of here with you, truly!" He pleads, and for a moment you just might believe him. "I promise, what you saw tonight was me attempting to remove a handsy female from me," he continues, holding you close to his chest. His familiar scent brings you comfort in a way that has your eyes welling up with tears again, and his hand cradles the back of your head, petting it lovingly.

"I promise you, the only female I want, is you." He says, and you pull back to meet his eyes again, a fresh wave of tears free-falling down your cheeks at the sight of him, being so open and honest before you.

"I know how it looked, Y/N... and I'm sorry I avoided you all day, I just... I really struggled knowing you were going on a date with someone who could just, take you right from me," he chokes out, his eyes lining with silver. You reach your hand up, wiping the corner of his eye and allowing your fingers to lightly trail down his cheek. You knew you were in deep -- you'd been so good, doing everything by the books and trying your best with Lucien this whole time.

But right now, you didn't really give a fuck what the rule books told you to do.

"No one is taking me from you." You say confidently, and his hand slides to cup your cheek. "Not tonight, not..." He pulls you so close, backing you up a few inches until your back meets the wall of the villa, his hard chest pushing into yours.

"Good. I really, really don't think I could let you go." He whispers. You pull him closest, closing the gap between the two of you in a passion-filled kiss. You sighed, tasting the lovely delicacy that was Lucien, all Lucien — body against yours, lips devouring you like you were his last meal. Heavily breathing, his hands roaming down your back, gripping your ass and lifting you up -- so much, you wrap your legs around his torso, groaning as he pushed you against the tile. His teeth toyed with your lower lip, halting just to slip his tongue in, battling for dominance with yours as he continued to relish in your delicious taste. His hands ran over your curves, respectfully staying above your clothes. Gods, how you wished they were off...

He pulls back, gasping for breath with you as your hands cling to the toned muscles of his back. He stares as you intently, every emotion and feeling flowing between the two of you as fresh as the tear trails down your cheeks. Then, he smiles at you, grinning and chuckling in the most handsome way.

"What?" You ask, your own smile failing to be surpressed. His hands hold your waist as his eyes scan your face.

"I... I've been waiting for that, since... that day, on the boat." He says, smiling at the memory. "I knew then, that I'd do anything just to get to know you, and..." he kisses the bridge of your nose. "Well, thank Gods I did."

You blush at his words, unhooking your legs from him and making to stand once more. His hands hold your face as you continue to hold him close to you.

"You mean... you thought about our first kiss?" You ask, and he rolls his eyes. Now its his turn to blush.

"Yeah, yeah, sticky fingers, I did." You chuckle, kissing his cheek. His fingers slide through your hair, all the emotion in your heart not able to be conveyed in this moment through words alone.

"I bet it was exactly like this, wasn't it?" You ask, raising an eyebrow. "Me in my cutest outfit... only a sweatshirt and sport shorts would do, right?" You laugh, and he chuckles before kissing the top of your head.

"You know I wouldn't have it any other way."

･ﾟ: *

[forlorn-crows]

𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒚 𝒅𝒂𝒚 4: 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈/𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒊𝒅

+ 𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒖𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒕 #10: "𝒔𝒉𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒊'𝒎 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖"

pairing(s): omega/cowbell words: 512

notes: cowbell is written as nonverbal but possessing his own language consisting of human & inhuman sounds.

✿

Omega tuts at the earth ghoul, turning his hand this way and that. “How did you even get a splinter that big, you clumsy thing?” 

Cowbell trills and shrugs, chewing on the cuticles of his free hand. A normally anxious activity, he’s instead the picture of nonchalance—boredom, even.

“At least it isn’t in your mouth this time,” the quint ghoul mutters.

Pebble definitely reamed Cowbell a new one when he caught his kin chewing on the discarded, broken stage sticks. There was a lot of scratching involved, of which Omega is not proud of himself for taking part in. 

Cowbell, however, is definitely proud. A flicker of mischief flickers across his face at the memory of them all squabbling like women in a trashy romantic comedy. 

He’s thankfully quit the juvenile earth ghoul habit of gnawing on splintered wood. Apparently impaling it accidentally into one’s hand is still on the table, though. 

Cowbell hisses when Omega pokes the point of entry on his finger, forked tongue flitting out between his stubby fangs. 

“Hush, I’m taking care of you,” the older ghoul chides. “We have forty minutes ‘til curtain, and if you insist on wriggling, it will be left until after the show.” The threat earns him a grumbled clicking noise that can only be translated as something akin to asshole or bastard. 

Omega shakes his head and laughs to himself, picking up the long-handled tweezers. “You can swear at me all you like,” he lilts, pressing the slanted twin ends to his skin to gauge the depth, “if it lets me get this out faster.”

Cowbell rolls his eyes. He whistles two tones through his teeth: whatever. 

The quintessence ghoul ignores him as he squints at the injury. Somehow, the wood piece slid perfectly into the side of his finger between the second and third knuckles. He can only see the first millimeter or two before it disappears into his light, glamoured skin. 

“Had to be in the skin that matches the color of the drumstick, hm?” 

Cowbell shrugs and returns to picking at his cuticles. He trills when Omega lets go of his hand and shoves his shins apart to rummage in the equipment case he’s perched atop. 

“Did you pick a case to sit on that happens to have a—ah ha.” When he leans back, he produces a small, gaff-taped flashlight and a wide, charming smile. On top of the black tape there’s neon green, and written in permanent marker on top of that reads: TECHS ONLY, GHOUL PAWS OFF. 

The earth ghoul snickers and makes grabby hands at it in perfect defiance. 

“Yeah, they definitely meant ghouls like you.”

Cowbell gasps, holding his good hand to his chest and batting his eyes like a flustered maiden.

“Yes you, you creature,” Omega says, exasperated. “Now give me your hand back, I am not going to sacrifice my five minutes of pre-places quiet time.” He clicks the flashlight on, sticks it in his mouth, and gets to work prodding and plucking at Cowbell’s finger until the offending splinter is forcibly vacated.

𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈 ✿

[toruro]

— ✧ the letter (smut)

description. you and minghao are really going to miss each other

tags. smut (18+), oral (f receiving), fluffy yummy cute

w/c. 1.3k

a/n. so fuck tumblr community labels i'm going to [redacted]. anyways the full story is here. i guess u could read this smut as a stand alone but it rly wouldn't make any sense.

“M-Ming—hao,” you whine, hands fisting the linen beneath you. A string of slick connects his mouth to your glistening folds, tethering him down to you even as he lifts his face. His eyes stare down at the slobbering mess between your legs, ignoring your soft chanting of his name before diving back down to close his mouth around your clit.

“Tastes so good,” he groans into you, hot breath fanning down on your folds as he licks fat stripes up and down into your cunt. One of his large hands reaches up and you instinctively guide it so that he can grasp one of your tits, squeezing tightly as your back arches into him.

“Fuck—Hao!” you cry out, when he peels his mouth away from you again. He looks up at you with heavy lidded eyes and a shiny wet chin and bright grin. “Was s’close … s’close,” you whimper, as he presses kisses on the inside of your thighs, licking and nipping at the soft flesh.

“I know baby, I know, but I wanna cum with you,” Minghao murmurs against your skin before crawling up onto his arms and over you. Your eyes flutter shut as he presses his lips against yours, sliding his tongue against yours fiercely.

Moaning at the taste of yourself, you wind your arms around his neck to pull his burning body flush against yours, grinding upwards in a determined mess to make sure the remnants of your almost-orgasm don’t ebb away.

You feel his hard length prodding against the inside of your thigh as Minghao shifts above you, adjusting his hands so they’re resting by your head when he finally pulls away, panting. Black hair sticking to his sweat-slick forehead, cheeks flushed, lips swollen—you don’t think you’ll ever get used to seeing Minghao like this.

You gasp loudly when you feel his cock brush against your already sensitive folds, burying your face into the crook of his neck as he runs one hand up and down your body. “Spread your legs a little,” he mutters, tapping at your knee so that you raise your thighs so he can settle better between you.

You’re about to egg him on and tell him to speed it up but then Minghao is punching the air out of your lungs in one ruthless thrust, forcing his fat cock into you in one go.

You’re in such a haze right now, you almost forget that you’ll have to face your brother and parents in less than an hour. Minghao and Jun were, after all, going back to Korea today, but your pre-orgasmic state pushes away the nasty thought of having to say goodbye to your boyfriend and brother so soon after having them to yourself.

It wasn’t easy, of course—the first few months after you came back home from Korea with the title of being Minghao’s girlfriend hanging above your head. It was what he’d been most worried about, when he first asked you to make things official the night before you left.

“I know what I’m doing Minghao, trust me.”

And trust you, he did. He trusted you when you were kids, when he was just your brother’s best friend, when you called him (almost) every night, and he trusts you now, as he’s ramming his cock into you.

Gripping onto his back tightly, you lodge your bottom lip between your teeth as you feel the rough drag of Minghao’s cock against your walls when he pulls his hips back halfway before pounding himself back in.

“God, fuck—I’m gonna miss this so much,” he grunts, punctuating his last word with an especially harsh thrust that has your body lurching against the sheets.

“M-me too,” you gasp, forcing your eyes open so you can watch the way his neck is strained and eyes are dilated as Minghao looks down at you.

“Yeah?” Minghao chuckles between heavy breaths, using one hand to cup your jaw while the other goes down to pinch at your clit. The touch against your sensitive nub as your mouth goes wide as you whine into Minghao’s mouth, lips swallowing up your loud moans while he kisses you.

Tongue and teeth meet in a clashing mess as you struggle to hold onto your last bit of sanity, his rough movements against your clit now turning to more a sharp and calculated circular motion that has you clenching around his cock.

“Minghao, fuck—” Your curse is cut off by the obnoxious ringing of your phone from the nightstand. Minghao groans, stilling his movements while his cock is pressed balls deep inside of you as he reaches over and grabs it.

“Just hang up,” you instruct but Minghao sighs, holding it up to show you the caller ID. Rolling your eyes, you grab the phone and hold it up to ear as you try and calm down your erratic breaths.

“Jun, I’m kind of busy—”

“I don’t care. Just make sure you guys come in like the next hour,” Jun says into the phone before pausing. “Why are you breathing like—ew. Gross. Forget I ever called. Well, don’t forget what I said, but you get the point. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to vomit now.”

Your phone beeps before the call cuts and you throw it to the side, clutching Minghao’s face to smash his lips on yours. “You heard him,” you mumble into his lips. “We don’t have a lot of time …”

Minghao sighs heavily, pressing his forehead to yours when you pull your lips away and glance down at the wet mess where his cock slams into your cunt. You feel your orgasm creep up on you again, tickling your stomach and spreading through your bones as you begin to squirm beneath him.

“Fuck, I’m close,” you moan, starting to lift your hips weakly to meet his thrusts while Minghao presses wet kisses to your collarbone. Your skin feels like it’s on fire and every snap of his hips is sending you closer and closer to the edge until you feel his cock twitch inside of you, triggering the storm to clock in on you. “‘m cumming—fuck, Hao, feels s’good. Feel s‘full,” you mewl when his eyes finally meet yours and you let go.

Your limbs convulse in a haphazard mess as a long awaited orgasm racks through your body, the waves of pleasure only heightening when you feel Minghao’s thick spurts of cum shoot through your swollen cunt. He weakly thrusts into you for a few final moments until you’re both in a buzzing, overstimulated haze, his body going limp when he finally collapses on top of you.

“Do you think we have time for another—” Minghao begins to ask, lifting his head to look at you when you lightly smack a hand over his head.

“Minghao, this is our third round,” you groan when he slips out of you, rolling off of you so you have room to cool down.

“And? I’m not going to see you for at least another month,” he whines, squeezing your cheek from the side.

Pressing a kiss to the side of his cheek, you murmur, “I wish we could but you heard Jun. We need to shower, still …”

Minghao rolls his eyes, propping himself up on his arms, eyes flickering between you and the shower before smirking. “So … are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“You horndog,” you scoff, sitting up straight as Minghao gets up from the bed. He turns to you, an eyebrow raised.

“So is that a yes or a no?”

Giggling, you kick the covers off and follow after him. “Only if you’re quick with it.”

Minghao grabs your arm, yanking you close to him as you stumble into the bathroom. “I love you,” he murmurs, your tits pressing close to his chest.

“I love y—” The words melt on your tongue before they can be heard, Minghao’s mouth engulfing your breath.

You’ll really have to apologize to Jun for being late.