#mustache funk

[retrowaving1]

Why do I appreciate Bob Dylan so much? Well, here are some random thoughts:

My brain literally melts in pleasure when I listen to song by Smerichka, a Ukrainian kind of rebellious (as their music was a complete opposite of what soviet union wanted people to listen to) ensemble from early 70s and realise there's the sound of the guitar which was popularized (if not invented) by Bob Dylan in 1965-66 on his Bring It All Back Home, Highway 61 Revisited and Blonde on Blonde albums.

Like Dude.

Dylan, an American performer and songwriter, created a mixture of American folk and Rock-'n'-roll music which was so iconic that it somehow even got to the Soviet Union despite Bob Dylan's music being prohibited there. Ukrainian Mustache Funk (yes, it's an actual name of this genre) was heavily influenced by the folk motives specific to the Western Ukraine and it's particularly amazing that you can hear the influence of American folk-rock in their music too. It's like a perfect fusion of everything I have always loved and it's only possible because this son of a gun ones invented it and held on to it despite the criticism.

Btw, I was reading BD's biography by Howard Sounes and tried to immerse into the story through re-listening to his albums appropriate to the periods of his life I was reading about, and at some point when I was listening to his debut album I heard his iconic performance of the House of The Rising Sun I started crying like a baby. Why? Well, I realised that, according to the book, even though this particular arrangement of the song was created by Dave Van Ronk, it was Bob Dylan who first recorded it in this sound. This song in this particular arrangement performed by Bob Dylan was so popular, that the Animals made their famous recording of the song being inspired by that specific recording by BD. The song became so famous that somehow it got to the USSR where someone once performed it, some guy from my hometown heard it and learned how to play it, my father heard that someone singing this song (having 0 idea what the original song was like,who first recorded it, who arranged it and so on), learned how to play it himself and many years after taught me how to play it on the piano. So, to cut a long story short, this is one of the first songs I have ever heard in my life and the first song I learned to play, and it is so damn nostalgic to me, and I love it so much, and I have so many warm family memories connected to this song and all this because this little smelly Jewish boy once decided to record it for his debut album in 1962 in Greenwich village so far away from my home. The song is so amazing and timeless that my father who was born 5 years after this song was released on Bob Dylan and legitimately fell in love with it and decided to pass this love to his children. Just how fucking amazing is that ffs

[halflingkima]

recent google searches: how to gently explain to booktokkers that i don't disregard their fravorite "smut" bc i'm a prude, but bc it's bad writing

[stachebracket]

'Stache-Off!! Round 1

[kindlyfunkn]

two matches back to back where i kinda sorta made friends with the killer. stared at them and did a little dance and they left me alone lol

the first match was a legion, he had a bad round and i tried to let him sacrifice me but he told me to go on. every time i encountered him we just looked at each other lol, like two or three times we met face to face and he left me alone it was pretty funny

second was plague, on the new alien map (forget the name lol) i knew she was coming up to the high point and i waited at the stairs for her. she paused when she saw me waiting and reared up to vomit but never did. i did a little dance, she copied me, then i went over the side and landed on the rail and she followed and i walked up and down it. eventually i ran off and thought she was going to resume chase like normal but she just went on lol. though after that interaction she continued playing like normal (ALSO made friends with a vittorio that round like idk if he felt the same but stg we were straight up blowing each other sucking penis bromosexual lovers etc)

got videos of the plague interaction, and one of the legions interactions + the end of the match (wish i couldve gotten the first few times we met); might post if i am able to transfer them to my phone in good quality (it's a complicated process and explanation as to why it is difficult to save my game clips to another device, one that i am not about to go into) or when i get a computer i can save them to a usb drive and do it from there

[pupsmailbox]

1970's ID PACK

NAMES︰ adanna. adonis. adrienne. alan. alberto. alice. ama. amara. andrew. angela. antonio. april. arlo. asha. aspen. audre. august. bella. betty. bianca. brody. bruce. calvin. cass. chester. chika. chris. claudia. craig. curtis. dahlila. dahlilah. daisy. dale. daniel. darryl. dean. del. dennis. desta. diana. dolores. don. donna. doris. dorothy. duane. dylan. eddie. edwin. enrique. eric. fez. flower. frank. franklin. freddie. gary. gene. glenn. gloria. guy. harvey. hooper. hyde. imani. jack. jackie. jacqueline. jamie. janet. janice. janis. javier. jay. jean. jerome. jerry. jo. joe. joel. johnny. joni. joreen. jorge. judith. julio. keith. kelly. kelso. kenneth. kirk. kurk. lawrence. lee. lelise. leon. leslie. liza. lois. lonnie. louis. louise. luce. marilyn. marjorie. mark. marla. marshall. martha. max. mona. neil. nia. omar. pat. patti. perry. quint. randy. raul. ray. ricky. rita.. robin. rodney. roland. ronnie. roy. russell. ruth. sergio. shirley. sid. sidney. simone. stan. stanley. steven. stevie. stuart. ted. terri. terry. thandi. thema. theodore. timothy. vincent. virginia. warren. wayne. wes. zuri.

PRONOUNS︰ atari/atari. boogie/boogie. bright/bright. cass/cassette. cassette/tape. color/color. dance/dance. disc/disco. disco/disco. flower/flower. flower/power. fresh/fresh. funk/funk. funk/funky. glam/glam. glam/glamorous. glam/rock. grease/grease. groove/groove. groove/groovy. groovy/groovy. hip/hip. hip/hippie. hip/hop. hippie/hippie. muse/music. mush/mushroom. music/music. must/mustache. oran/orange. peace/peace. pop/pop. punk/punk. rain/rainbow. rainbow/rainbow. sing/sing. spiral/spiral. stripe/stripes. sun/shine. tape/tape. tree/tree. wind/wind. ☎️. ☮. ☮️. ✌. ❀. 🌈. 🍄. 🎱. 🎵. 🎸. 💿. 📀. 📺. 📼. 🔮.

[xxnomadsxx]

RANDOM Trolls HEAD-CANNON!!!!!

1. What if trolls would communicate through Dance~ (LIKE BEE’S) sometimes the music at a party is too Loud to hear over, so they will just dance at one another to communicate (or out of boredom)

2. Pop trolls are the only ones able to use their hair the easiest, in the first movie we get a lot of hair action with the POP Trolls in the second movie it’s barely used the funk trolls don’t use it the classical trolls the techno trolls. NONE of them use their hair, the country trolls use a mustache but nothing else. Even the Rock trolls didn’t use it but when rock Branch used his mullet it took him a few seconds and concentration to get it to grab Poppy. WHAT am I building too? Good question I think the Pop trolls are the only ones who have a good enough control over their hair because they started gaining those hair abilities due to the bergans catching and eating the pop trolls and they started gaining a defense mechanism against predators (Bergans).

[davycoquette]

Acrostic Sentence Tag Game

Thank you for the tag, @sableglass! The word you gave me was

STRANGE

Soon you forget all about how you ran away because of her, because you didn’t want her to know you threw your life away. You can’t think why you did it, now, so it must be the devil is real. It must be he’s as real as the wild pining that dragged you out of the wilderness to tempt fate underneath bridges downtown. As real as the vanity of being wanted. As real as the mounting fear that you did it because you wanted something terrible to happen to you.

Teenage Shiloh contemplates returning home to his mother.

The last of the four horsemen does not come in.

From an old west classic saloon shoot-out scene. Four bounty hunters have ridden up to the saloon and three have filed through the door.

Right after you see it, you smell it, and it doesn’t smell anything like a man but that’s when you know it used to be one.

Child Shiloh finds a body in the crick.

Antebellum propriety is long wrung out of him, and even the treacly Charleston drawl has abraded shrewd and terse. It suits him. He’s wide-faced, with little dark eyes nobody trusts. His eyebrows are puckish and full, contrary to the sparse mustache that slants like a gable roof over his mouth. The white men call him amigo and the women call him Oliver, and the locals don’t speak to him at all.

Reintroduction to an old west story character who grew up on his parent's rice plantation in Charleston, South Carolina.

No one blamed her; this was not Donovan’s first time careening into the light.

From an old west piece called The River King. Refers to a woman's apathy as Don Rucker lays dying.

“Good. You look like you could stand to set a while. Go on — I got the laundry. You’re jes droppin’ it on the ground, anyhow.”

Arabel, daughter of the leader of an outlaw gang, suggests Ruck fuck off and let her get the chores done.

Every place is the same to you, isn’t it? You see this ancient land with forests older than the continent itself rooted to the ruins of mountains that used to pierce the sky. You see rushing whitewater and brightly colored birds and rolling fields of wildflowers, and you smell honeysuckles and pluck blackberries off the bush in the summer. Schoolhouses and clotheslines and governments – but what do you care? You never cared about home or community. Hell, the same town you were born in, the place where you grew up – it was one of these places. And now? Empty, smoldering. They say it’ll be a hundred years before the fire under the earth burns out, before that place looks like anything but a scene transplanted out of hell.

This one's from an RP character profile. Fella is a lackey for a coal mining company that's ravaging an Appalachian town.

Taglist:

@albatris

@capnmachete

@harmonic-melodii

@illarian-rambling

@michellekarnold

@nathaniel-zellos

@saturnine-saturneight

Sorry if y'all already got tagged in this one!

Also, OPEN TAG!

Your word is: FUNK

[grendel-menz]

hi hi do u have more info abt ada? she’s so cool

Omg yeah!!

She’s one of my older OCs and belongs in The Sticks story. She’s Kamila’s younger sister by 3 years, and a big people person.

I wanted to put a spin on the ‘innocent/bright eyed/kinder than most’ little sister character type by having Ada be this person who’s too giving and kind due to a lack of self respect and preservation. She’s a doormat and is often treated as a pseudo-therapist or mother to others despite being one of the younger characters; taking on burden after burden with a smile only to stress in private.

Ada’s an optimist who has doubts about staying that way, and lives for others. Rashaad (her husband) and Trevor (her found family) are really the only ones who know her deeply enough and are around her often enough to really get the pressures she suffers from, internal and external. Her sister, Kamila, is too wrapped up in her own self loathing to see how large her sister’s is. Kamila is also just a lot less outwardly emotional than Ada and gets rattled when it comes to comfort or comforting. Kamila thinks she ruined Ada by being a bad sister and Ada thinks Kamila hung the sun and stars.

Also sorry it’s sadder gdgdgdgd. She’s pretty goofy outside of her funks, and has a sense of humor that’s very Facebook mom. She owns a lot of minions coffee mugs and mustache patterned clothes. Ada buys Rashaad a lot of frankly tasteless and corny shirts and dutifully he wears them all.

She’s definitely a character that’s tough to write, not because I don’t know her throughly bc honestly she’s one of the most fleshed I out characters I have, but because I’m an older sister and I stew. I love her sm.

[timptoe]

And I Know It

For @bigplaceexchange this year, I got to write for the lovely Viggorrah on Ao3 about Ashley and Kaidan and how much I love their friendship. This fic is based on a tumblr post I saw once and stupidly didn't save that's stuck with me; ping me if you know the one I'm talking about.

Because sometimes, the way forward is a silly t-shirt, a good friend, and a little bit of Latin.

----

We headed to the bar, baby Don’t be nervous No shoes, no shirt And I still get service Watch

 - LMFAO, “Sexy and I Know It”

——

“What.”

“Hm?”

Kaidan pops his head up out of his reverie, turning to look at whatever it is that’s pissing Ashley off in this particular moment. 

“What. Is. That.”

Her flat growl immediately puts him on high alert. He scans for threats in a quick, sharp glance around the area. The salarian working that kiosk? Looks harmless. The batarians reading at that tea shop? Maybe, but they seem pretty engaged in their books. That guy crossing the promenade with the mustache? Tacky, but non-threatening.

He furrows his brow. Nothing in particular stands out to him amongst the crowds and bric-a-brac of Zakera Ward. 

Focus, Alenko. Put Eletania out of your mind. You’re an officer, never off duty. Try again.

He sweeps their surroundings again in an instant, coming up empty. But the look on Ashley’s frozen, gobsmacked face is unmistakable. What is he missing?

“Williams, what’s—“

She pushes past him, rushing toward the kiosk, and for a fraction of a second, he preps for combat. He squares his shoulders, plants his feet, feels the hair on the back of neck stand up as he begins reaching for the biotic energy inside him. Whatever that salarian’s up to, he’s got Ashley’s back.

And then she turns around, and he sees the unrestrained glee on her face.

“LT, look! Look at this!”

She waves him over. The blue aura around his fingertips fades as he walks forward, utterly confused. The kiosk itself isn't particularly remarkable, reminding him of those kitschy, ticky-tacky souvenir stands in every mall in Vancouver. Apparently some things are universal. Mugs with asari quotes he guesses are famous, keychains with turian names that must be common, hats of various sizes to fit the heads of various species all gathered together in a garish display of consumerism and unnecessary excess.

But Ashley is focused on a single shirt.

She holds it up proudly, looking at it in wonder. “What is this?” she squeaks. Actually squeaks. He hasn’t known her that long, but he would’ve bet the Normandy itself that Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams was incapable of squeaking in something like pure delight. She turns it around, holding it up to her torso to show it off. Dark blue background, bright gold letters. At first he thinks it’s a misprint. “SEC-C?” he says cautiously, brow furrowing.

All at once, the pun hits him like a geth stalker falling from the ceiling.

“SEC-C!” Ashley shouts with laughter.

Kaidan groans.

“Oh, c’mon LT,” she says, impish mischief all over her face. “Get your head outta whatever funk it’s been since we left the planet of the apes and bask in the glorious mess of this shirt with me.”

He rolls his eyes, not at all in the mood for this. “‘Mess’ is the right word.”

She sticks her tongue out at him.

“And surely that pun doesn’t translate, I mean do turians even have—“

“That one’s been pretty popular with our human patrons, sir,” pipes up the annoyingly helpful salarian. “Shall I ring it up for you?”

“No.”

“Yes,” Ashley says enthusiastically, pushing between them and eagerly proffering her omnitool. 

In moments, the transaction completed, the pair are standing in the center of the promenade, alternately admiring and abhorring the piece of fabric in Ashley’s hands.

“Is this not the greatest thing you’ve ever seen?” Ashley says, voice full of awe.

Kaidan levels a look at her. “You can’t be serious.”

“It’s incredible,” she murmurs, taking in every inch of her prize.

“Please tell me you’re not going to wear it.”

Without a word, she strips off her regulation uniform tunic, throwing it over Kaidan’s shoulder. He barely has time to blush, avert his eyes, decide if he even should avert his eyes, before she dons the new shirt. She pulls at it, testing the fit, the feel, the way it drapes over her lithe, solid shoulders.

“Something’s not quite right.”

“No kidding,” he mutters, idly folding her uniform tunic and tucking it under one arm.

She ignores him, looking down at the shirt with a critical, almost tactical eye. Suddenly, she snaps her fingers, nodding once.

And without a word, she reaches up and tears off both sleeves.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Kaidan says.

Ashley strikes a pose, bare arms flexing with her balled-up fists on her hips. “What do you think?”

He won’t deny that she looks good. Really good. Well, he won’t deny it to himself, but out loud? Absolutely. “You look ridiculous.”

She grins, dangerous sparkle in her eye. “C’mon. Don’t you think I look—“

“Please don’t say—“

“SEC-C?”

The sound of his deep sigh is thoroughly drowned out by her joyous, I-am-too-pleased-with-myself cackle.

He sits down on a nearby bench, watching his fellow soldier delight in accosting random passers-by with manic enthusiasm. His exasperation is mostly feigned, if he’s honest with himself. It’s good to see Ashley happy, unburdened, for even just a moment on this tour. So much of what they’ve seen, the evil they’re up against, is hard to process. Might as well enjoy the little spaces of joy they can find.

He watches in horror as Shepard, wide eyes unseeing, crumples to the ground.

Kaidan takes a deep breath, willing the panic tightening his chest to ease. Shepard’s fine, he’s up in the Council chambers. Stop it.

“C’mon. Your turn.”

He snaps his head up, Ashley’s outstretched hand dominating his field of vision. “Huh?”

She pauses for a second, and when he doesn’t take her hand fast enough, she reaches down, grabs his arm, and roughly hauls him to his feet. “Your turn,” she repeats.

“For what?”

“This was for me,” she says, gesturing to the ridiculous shirt. “Now we do something for you.”

He shakes his head. “No, we don’t—“

“That wasn’t a suggestion, LT.” Her grip on his arm tightens. 

He purses his lips, bemused. “You know I outrank you, right,” he says flatly.

She shrugs. “Fuck that. We’re off duty.”

“Ashley—“

“You need a drink. More than one.” She tugs his arm, not letting go, but with little enough force that he could easily stand his ground if he wanted to. My choice, he realizes, genuinely touched by the veiled tenderness of the gesture.

So he allows her to move him. A little. A grin lights up her face, infectious in a different way from the one at the kiosk.

He can’t help but grin back.

Read the rest on Ao3.

[renlyslittlerose]

Do you think tumblr would cut me off mid-funk if I posted a photograph of a figurine I bought today, of a penis and balls with a mustache?

Because I feel he ought to be shared

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

had i known that when do i get to sing my way would actually get into the bracket i would've written better propaganda!! so i guess this is my chance now, if you're accepting propaganda of course.

not only is the song a banger with wonderful lyrics, the music video is a great parody of 50s movie trailers that manages to be funny and tongue in cheek while telling a complete story. the 90s were a low point in sparks' career and i think that kind of reflects in the the song lyrics and video theme, but they managed to do a brilliant job with it and i'm so sad it's not more popular!!

if that isn't enough, haha funny mustache man does funny dance. i rest my case. as a funk rock enthusiast i really enjoy lenny kravitz of course, but i do think sparks has the better MV in this matchup!!

Great propaganda!! Thank you!

When Do I Get To Sing My Way vs Are You Gonna Go My Way

[whencallstheheart]

I almost didn’t watch season 9 either, but it’s worth it just because Nathan is hilarious!!! I think they told Kevin McGarry to just be himself lol. And I agree, you do realize quickly that Lucas and Elizabeth are very disfunctional.

Once Nathan got over his funk (and shaved that awful mustache), he was a lot of fun. So snarky. It did feel like a shift towards him being more goofy when the moments allowed.

I don't think we were supposed to think that about Lucas and Elizabeth though which makes it even more confusing. They were supposed to be in love and enjoying their courtship and then they eventually got engaged at the end of the season. The shift away from Lucas didn't come about until season 10 with Lindsay taking over. Without her, they'd still be trying to convince us Lucas and Elizabeth are a perfect match (if any of us cared to continue watching). Hopefully one day we'll finally get all the details about how everything went down because I remain really baffled by the whole situation.

[askwendyokoopa]

It Just Keeps Happening?

After 8 years of being mutuals, @neko-shadow blocked me for no apparent reason. I felt that much time warranted something, so naughty baby did a no-no, and I contacted him from an alt and found out... it was because he didn't like me sexually harassing him? Like that thing I had been doing for 8 solid years, and he had been coming back for each day. Whatever, maybe I'm victim-blaming. It just seems like once we had established that I was bugging the Mun and not just the Muse, we could open a discussion and move past it. But no, the best solution was apparently to just cut all ties forever.

So, I was in a funk, barely posting, when @red-man-of-mustache convinces me to start roleplaying again. We were mutuals for 9 years, except for some amount of time when he remade his blog-- it's not important. And just recently boom, full block, everywhere. No explanation. This time it can't be the flirting, right? He sent me the eggplant. I know, that roleplay is a comedy of errors, maybe some other post was too risqué? But my blog has maintained it's PG-13 rating, and has it clearly listed.

So, whatever, I'm insecure, my insecurities are something something, I think people misunderstand the reason people say "You don't owe them an explanation." I think that's for your cheating boyfriend who beats you and stole money, he knows why, he just wants you to explain it to his face so he can emotionally manipulate you. You could still say "I'm leaving you, cheater!" or something, via note.

So airing out your dirty laundry on tumblr isn't emotionally manipulative? Fair enough. It's just, if I sent an anonymous ask, he can't answer it without showing everyone, so I left a comment on a post from a side blog someone asked me to make some year, and them never interacted with it... that was a whole thing. Anyhow, the idea was that he could reply in the comments section that most people would never see, but he deleted it. So... someone tell Papa Pasta that he has confused and saddened me... IDK.

It's happened a few more times, but these two stick out because of just how long they stuck around before ghosting me.

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Immaterial Possession

Photo by Jessica Gratigny

Immaterial Possession puts the viscerality of bass-driven rock, the hypnotic drone of East European folk and the dippy energy of art punk into a blender lets it whirr.  The Athens, Georgia band—comprised of Cooper Holmes, Madeline Polites, John Spiegel and Elephant 6 scion Kiran Fernandes—met at an arts commune.  Their self-titled debut came out in 2020, and the follow-up, Mercy of the Crane Folk, this year. Reviewing it, Jennifer Kelly noted that, “If you’ve ever wondered what the B-52s might sound like on a serious Incredible String Band bender, well, possibly a lot like Mercy of the Crane Folk.”

Selda “Gitme”

Selda is the queen, a 1970s Turkish songwriter, political activist and cultural icon. This song has such great energy. You immediately blast off on the Turkish spaceship to the cosmic love song.. the desperation in Selda's powerful voice steers you.  (Madeline)

The Stranglers, “Hanging Around”

Love this track and whole record Rattus Norvegicus for its up-front, guttural driving bass lines and menacing vocals. The keyboard runs ascending into the air counter the low earthiness. The record cover is also a perfect fit for the music, classy yet dingy, calm but aggressive, mysterious but mundane. (Cooper)

Isaan style street music from Bangkok 

Isaan music from Northeastern Thailand is some of the coolest music ever.. it's got the perfect blend of psychedelia, folk, improvisation, and party rhythm. And it's for all occasions. (Madeline)

The players are effortlessly cool too. Almost anything we find in this genre gets us going. (Cooper)

Bizunesh Bekele, “Debdabe Lakibign”

This video is one of my favorite tracks lately. I love the shuffle beat with the overdriven krar, a six-stringed harp, and the sweet synth licks mixed with the vocal. (Kiran Fernandes)

Hany Mehannah, “Shahr Al Assal”

Super groovy 1970s Egyptian music, scored for film. This is one of my faves from Hany Mehanna, a wonderful composer and keyboardist. His flourishing expressiveness of the Farfisa organ is a great influence on my organ playing in Immaterial. (Kiran)

The B52s, “Give Me Back My Man”

A big favorite from the B-52s catalogue. Cindy Wilson's vocals are so raw and glorious.. her swing from chill to scream is a cathartic explosion. And the beat and bass line is everlasting in electric spirit.  I listen to this one when I need a jump. It’s also a favorite karaoke number. (Madeline)

Buffy Sainte-Marie, “God Is Alive Magick Is Afoot”

A friend shared this with us after one of our shows. Buffy Sainte-Marie is a radical badass woman. It's “experimental” (as implied by a traditional pop sense) in the way that you are partaking in her hypnotic spell work. Just found out Leonard Cohen wrote the lyrics. That explains my gravitation to this one; Cohen is a favorite lyricist. (Madeline)

Barış Manço, “Dere Boyu Kavaklar”

Another groovy 1970s Turkish funk master. That mustache is its own instrument. I sit patiently, although in starving anticipation, for that delicious lead riff.. for that, we'll go to wherever he's luring us..(Madeline)

Aphrodites Child, “End of the World”

A 1968 Grecian epic banger. Appropriately, in the Greek mythological tradition, it's both deeply romantic and ominous in nature. Very incredible, shapeshifting vocals. Sometimes the visions of the werewolf come into my head with this one. Other times, it just feels like an apocalyptic fury of love. You could probably use this song as an easy Rorschach-ian test to see what's going on in your brain today. (Madeline)

The Bats, “Smoking Her Wings”

A friend put this on a mix tape. I love this sweet song! A driving tune with a perfectly soft and floating nostalgic melody. When I listen, I feel like I am falling in love in the summer of 1987 and want to cry over something yet I know not exactly what. (Madeline)

Velly Joonas, “Stopp, Seisku Aeg!”

A 1970s Estonian songwriter and artist. This funkadelic, melancholic, song has got a viola(?) line that cuts through like you're swimming up to the shimmering surface of the Baltic sea to take a breath. I love the rhythm in the vocal lines. I've listened to this song on repeat many times. Thank you Velly! (Madeline)

[airlock]

CYL8 Nerding - Internal Bottom 10

y'know, last year, the least voted character in CYL had just 2 votes to his name, so I thought this might be the first year we ever see a character get 0 votes!

this did not happen -- our least voted character this year has 1 vote. fucking incredible. anyway, shall we go all-in on this year's biggest losers?

AKANEIA #1: Dice, also Roberto (3 votes) #3: Reiden (6 votes) #4: we all still think of Luke as a small fry (11 votes) #5: Frost (13 votes) #6: Malledus (16 votes) #7: Boah (17 votes) #8: Roderick, also Belf, also Ymir (18 votes)

VALENTIA #1: Tatarrah, also Garth (3 votes) #3: Dolth (4 votes) #4: Barth, also Jerome (6 votes) #6: Grieth (7 votes) #7: Halcyon (11 votes) #8: Slayde, also Blake (15 votes) #10: Marla (16 votes)

JUGDRAL #1: Danann (3 votes) #2: Scipio (4 votes) #3: Hilda, also Halvan (8 votes) #5: Sandima, also Alva, also Perne (10 votes) #8: Munnir (11 votes) #9: Tristan, also Deimne, also Safy (12 votes)

ELIBE #1: Lundgren (6 votes) #2: Zelot, also FE7!Murdock (8 votes) #4: FE6!Merlinus (10 votes) #5: Desmond, also FE6!Murdock (11 votes) #6: Hellene (14 votes) #7: Barthe (18 votes) #8: Saul (19 votes) #9: Fargus, also Durban (20 votes)

MAGVEL #1: Riev (8 votes) #2: Hayden (11 votes) #3: Rennac, also Vigarde (13 votes) #5: Dozla (26 votes) #6: Fado (28 votes) #7: Caellach (33 votes) #8: Orson (41 votes) #9: Natasha (42 votes) #10: Tethys (43 votes)

TELLIUS #1: Muston (1 vote) #2: Bertram (3 votes) #3: Daniel and Jorge twinning it the FUCK up (4 votes) #5: Hetzel (6 votes) #6: Kasatai (8 votes) #7: Bastian (10 votes) (I'M ONE OF THEM. YOU ABSOLUTE DASTARDS--) #8: Ludveck (12 votes) #9: Izuka (13 votes) #10: Numida (14 votes)

YLISSE #1: Cervantes (14 mustache hairs) #2: Validar (16 votes) #3: Phila (17 votes) #4: Kjelle (24 votes) #5: Flavia and Basilio sitting under a tree, F-I-G-H-T-I-N-G (25 votes) #7: Mustafa, also Excellus (31 votes) #9: Brady (33 votes) #10: Yen'fay (37 votes)

TMS#FE #1: Teru & Garrick (8 votes) #2: Kuen & Excellus (11 votes) #3: Chikaomi & Lon'qu (12 votes) #4: Chouten & Pheros (13 votes) #5: Nobu & Gangrel (19 votes)

HOSHIDO/NOHR #1: Tarba (7 votes) #2: Zhara, also Lloyd (8 votes) #4: Fuga (9 votes) #5: Llewelyn (11 votes) #6: Funke (12 votes) #7: Senno (15 votes) #8: Hans (17 votes) #9: Daichi (24 votes) #10: Arete, also Kumagera (30 votes)

FÓDLAN #1: Tomas, also Gwendal (4 votes) #3: Lonato (5 votes) #4: Pallardó (6 votes) #5: Aelfric (8 votes) #6: Ludwig aka Duke Aegir (9 votes) #7: Solon (11 votes) #8: Kostas (12 votes) #9: Volkhard aka Lord Arundel (13 votes) #10: Grégoire aka Count Varley (16 votes)

ELYOS #1: Hyacinth (38 votes) #2: Seforia (68 votes) (god dammit I knew I should have voted for her--) #3: Saphir (74 votes) (I DID VOTE FOR HER THOUGH YOU ABSOLUTE--) #4: Lindon (97 votes) #5: Morion (142 votes) #6: Bunet, also Zephia (158 votes) #8: Marni (187 votes) #9: not Marni (201 votes) (ie Madeline btw) #10: Vander (215 votes)

ZENITH #1: Ganglöt (50 votes) #2: Hel (69 votes) (nice) #3: Ótr (77 votes) #4: Nótt (88 votes) #5: Freyr (91 votes) #6: Ylgr (94 votes) #7: Múspell (116 votes) #8: Reginn (121 votes) #9: Letizia (122 votes) #10: Gustav (148 votes)

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats | Wild Things (De Renzy, 1985)

Like I did with my review of Ball Busters, I present to you some stray observations in scattershot form, not unlike the vignette structure of the film being commented on:

I didn't watch this to make a "We have Wild Things at home!" joke, because I haven't seen Wild Things (1998) and this was released first. I'm innocent of all charges, your honor.

This is bookended by a pair of roughie-style scenes. I think the first one is better, in that the female aggressors make it stand out against the usual genre dynamics and the latter has John Leslie doing some weird bear growl noises I found a bit distracting. Both also have neat twists at the end that go a long way in alleviating the sleaze factor that normally comes with these things.

Between the organ music on the soundtrack, the pointed shot of the cross dangling Kimberly Carson's breasts, her desire to make love as a means of procreation and her devout nature ("I'm talking to God here"), the segment where Herschel Savage tries to impregnate Carson plays like a middle finger to the moral majority types, although one could argue it's a bit more subtle than the usual evangelical characters in more overt porno satires (Spitfire, Friday the 13th: A Nude Beginning). This is also the only time I can recall off the top of my head seeing Savage with a beard, and combined with the leather jacket he's introduced in, it's a pretty good look. (Much better than the Gene Shalit 'stache he had in Skin Flicks.)

As someone who's made that same awful sitcom double date joke in too many reviews, I have a tremendous amount of respect for Elle Rio for following through on it. You see, the problem is that "there is so many men and how you say, so little time", and maybe she "should get a little book or something", so she "accidentally date two guys at the same time!" (For the record, I love her accent and her mellifluous voice. I'm not making fun, I promise.) And rather than suffer any embarrassment, she takes charge and resolves things in the most elegant manner possible given the circumstances. (Hint: it rhymes with "free gum.") Apparently this was added after the fact (the breaking of the fourth wall feels more in line with Ball Busters) but is arguably a highlight, making this not unlike a Heaven's Gate situation where a later release is supposed to be the superior version. Or maybe like the Snyder Cut. Definitely not like Apocalypse Now: Redux, where the additional footage kills the pacing. Bonus points for Tom Byron's terrible mustache and his insistence on kicking rocks at Jon Martin's car. "A lot of men, they don't have the kind of sense of humour like we girls do."

Maybe I'm still high off a rewatch of Body Double, but there's one shot where the husband is masturbating in the foreground and the wife is masturbating in the background that looks a little bit like a composition from Mr. BDP himself. Now if you just switched out the rack focus for a split diopter, we'd be in business. (This scene also starts with the wife looking at magazine layout with *shudders* Ron Jeremy, and thankfully that's where he stays.) And before you think I'm giving the movie too much credit visually, there's some pretty nice use of lens flare and shadows throughout. This is not without a decent amount of style.

Lots of great music throughout, probably a little heavier on the rock side of things (psych rock jams, garage rock, funk rock, maybe a little doo wop), but my favourite bit of scoring has to be the fluttering synths in the first scene.

While I missed the knockoff Troy McClure shtick John Leslie was doing while hosting Ball Busters, Jill Ferrar is not without her charms and has some fun interplay with the crew. Also, unlike Leslie she doesn't try to push a heretofore unheard of definition of the title, so definitely wins some points there.

Now, as for whether this is any good: if you like the performers, I can report they are in fine form, and if you are not yet sold on any of them, a strong case is made for all. (MVP: Elle Rio, for the record.) There's enough variation in the premises of each segment, the energy level is consistently high, and the film is not without a good amount of humour (and doesn't feel mean spirited the way I've found De Renzy sometimes can be). I'm assuming Howard Hawks never saw this (because it was released after his passing, unless he came back a decade later like Bruce Lee was prophesied to in Ng See-Yuen's Bruce Lee: The Man, The Myth), but it meets his criteria for a good movie and then some.