#must have bashed my head into the keyboard

[ist-das-kunst-oder-kann-das-weg]

Animal

Recently, I have found myself thinking about relationships again.

I gave myself time and that was good.

It’s been nearly five years since the last one. First one. No matter.

But now I feel ready to try to try again. The thing is just –

I am not exactly relationship material.

I look at the state of my flat and I feel more like a dog than a human.

Who would want to be with me?

Only perverts want to fuck their pets.

I feel like I am faking it. Being a person, a human.

In company, outside in the wild of the city, I am good at it.

Good enough at least. Unless someone asks me something.

It does not matter what they asked, I will bring up the state of my flat.

I don’t know why I’m doing that.

Perhaps I want to be told – you are doing okay, it is not so bad.

But what would I say to this? So your kitchen is a health hazard as well?

Perhaps I want to be told – you have it so bad! I am sorry for you!

But what would I say to this? It’s okay, there’s nothing you can do about?

I don’t think it is either of it actually.

Perhaps I want to be told – what I have long been feeling already.

You are not a person. You do not deserve. You are intrinsically bad. Irredeemable.

But who would want to hear that?

Someone that has heard it growing up. What we are used to gives us comfort, they say.

I am being dramatic. This is other peoples’ issue, not mine.

I think my issue is that I feel like I am lying to people.

They look at me and think – ah! A fellow human being!

When in fact – an animal.

[doitforbangchan]

All Bark and No Bite - 19

oops i couldn’t wait for the weekend 😅 happy 4th of july to my fellow american homies 🫡🫡

Masterlist /Series masterlist

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

Previous - Next

Chapter warnings: Afab/fem reader, smut, unprotected p in v, oral (f + m), kissing, Dom!Chan, Dom!Minho, Dom!Seungmin, Sub!reader, subspace, threesome (m/f/m), Double penetration (mouth and Vagina), 2min being absolute deviants, face smacking, choking, crying (a TON), Dacryphilia, voyeurism, spanking, sir kink, dirty talk, pet names, spit, cum eating, fluff, angst, cursing, violence, blood, threats, broken bones, (sorry to all the wooyoung stans- this hurt me to write), Chan is not a good guy here but he’s hot so 🫠🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

WC: 10.2k

Sun beams streamed into the room, the early morning light dancing across your lids as you woke up. You groggily creaked your eyes open then instinctually reached your hand over to find your alpha- though you found the spot empty. Chan's side of the bed was cold, he had to have been up for far longer than you.

Click 

Clack

Click

 There was a quiet clicking sound that filled the room. It was the first thing you really took notice of as you came to your wits.You rubbed your eyes and lightly lifted your head up. In the corner of the room at his laptop sat Chan. He was still in his underwear that he wore to bed and he was typing away at the keyboard in front of him. He hadn’t noticed that you had awoken yet, so you observed him for a few minutes. His brow was furrowed and he kissed his teeth. 

The alpha typed away for a few more minutes, then he sighed in frustration and threw his head back. It was at that moment he noticed you were awake, looking at him with sleepy eyes. He smiled at you with a tender look. “Good morning, gorgeous.”  

“Mmph. Morning Channie. What are you doin?” You swung your legs over the side of the bed and reached your arms up in a stretch. 

He sighed again and turned back around to his computer. “Just some work that couldn’t wait until after the weekend.” He wouldn’t tell you that he had gotten up early to do some digging on Wooyoung and had gotten fed up when he didn’t find anything of note then checked his work emails. “There's a buyer who wants to see a huge property a town over.” 

You padded slowly over to your alpha and draped yourself over his shoulders, nuzzling your face into his neck. “That must be exciting for the company.” 

“Mmhm, it’s a really expensive piece of land. The buyer wants to get this deal done asap and is sending me over there tomorrow to meet with them. On a fucking sunday.” He huffed and rolled his eyes.

 You could feel his frustration radiating out of him so you brought a hand up to his head and ran your fingers through his curls, trying to comfort him. You felt him physically relax and you let out a gentle purr. “M’ sorry alpha. You work so hard for your company, you deserve some time off.” 

He snorted, “Yeah like that’s going to happen anytime soon. I’ve already taken too much time off the last few weeks thanks to a certain someone.” He playfully kisses your arm that was wrapped around him then leans into you. “My old man understands how important bonding with an omega is so he’s been lenient but since I’m the one that's going to take over the business I have to make sacrifices sometimes. Being able to provide a comfortable life for you and the pack makes it all worth it though.” 

“You’re a good man, Chan.” You kissed his neck again, your scent sweetening with your pure love for him. The smell was so heavenly it made his eyes almost roll into the back of his head. “I am so lucky to have the most perfect Alpha as my mate.” 

Chan tried to hide his bashfulness and the dusting of pink that appeared on his cheeks by turning his head but you managed to catch a peek anyways. You giggled and reached a hand to pinch his cheek. He shook his head and laughed along with you. “Don’t tease me! And don’t pretend you're not the perfect one, my little omega.” He turned and gave you a kiss on your lips this time and hummed. “I do have to get back to this for now though my love. Not much longer.” 

“Anything I can do to help?” You stood but kept your hands on his shoulders, massaging them lightly. 

He turned back to look at you with a smirk and his eyes shining with mischievous intent, “Wellll there's one thing I can think of…” 

“Hmm,” You hummed wearily, “what’s that Channie?” 

“Cockwarm me while I work.” 

You choked on your air intake. That is certainly not what you had in mind. “You- you want me to do what?” 

He patted his lap cheekily, making you look down to notice his member hardening in his boxers. “Come on pretty omega, take a seat on alphas dick and keep me company. That would really help me get some work done.” His grin was teasing as if daring you to do as he asked, as if you truly had an option. 

You licked your lips as you felt your panties dampen instinctually. You weren’t naive enough to think it would help him that much or that his intentions were pure but you also weren’t going to deny your alpha anything he desired- which right now was you.  

Your hands fell from his shoulders as you circled around to the front of his chair. You held eye contact with him when you crouched down in front of him and reached for the hem of his underwear. His gaze was sharp as he took in your every miniscule movement,brown orbs  already dilating like a beast of prey. Your breath was shaky when you hooked your pointer fingers into the hem and slowly pulled them down his thighs until his hard length sprang out and slapped against his stomach.  

You stood up again and this time pulled your own panties down, letting them fall to the floor as you stepped out of them. Chan licked his teeth and patted his lap once again. “Your throne, my queen.” 

That made you huff a laugh and eased your nerves a little. 

“You’re a dork.” 

 Bracing your hands on his shoulders you positioned yourself to be straddling his lap and he helped you line yourself up. With a deep breath to prepare for the stretch, you sank down onto him and engulfed him completely. Your eyes screwed shut and you let out a whimpering moan. Chan sighed blissfully when you were fully seated, his strong arms pulling you into his chest. 

“Thata girl.” 

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and gave him a small grind. He held back a moan, instead tutting at you. “Uh uh baby, just sit still f’ me and keep me warm.” 

Settling into a good position the both of you let out a content sigh. You kept your head buried into the crook of his neck while he let go of you and went back to his laptop. You closed your eyes and relaxed into him, trying to pass the time with a nap. The both of you managed to sit like that for about a half hour. You did your best to focus on napping but you were beginning to get needier and needier. Chan was doing a good job at keeping a poker face and typing away as if you weren’t clenching and leaking all over his dick. 

Your thighs started to burn from the position you were stuck in so you tried to subtly adjust to relieve some tension, but the movement made you push him deeper into you. You let out a quiet moan when you felt him twitch inside of you and couldn’t help but shift your hips, making your walls drag against him which caused him to moan in return. 

“F-fuck baby, can’t go moving your hips like that.” 

“M sorry, you just feel so good.” You whined in his ear. You could feel your slick dripping out of you and onto Chan's dick,“S’deep in me, feels so good alpha.” 

He let out a growl at your words, his resolve quickly crumbling. “Feelin’ needy now, baby? Can’t even sit here and be good, you need your alpha to take care of you?” 

You nodded rapidly, clenching around him tightly at his words. “Uh huh. I tried to be good for you Alpha. I sat here as long as I could.” 

“Well it’s a good thing I’ve just answered my last email then huh?” 

With no warning the man beneath you lifted his hips to buck into you, making your back arch as you moaned. “Nnnnghh alpha!” 

“Hold on to me baby.” 

You did as you were told, tightening your hold on his shoulders. When he felt that, Chan put his hands under your spread thighs and gripped the meat there. He used his strength to lift your body up then brought you down again. You felt every ridge and vein of his cock rub against your walls, making you whine and throw your head back. 

Chan used your body as if it was his own personal fleshlight, lifting you up and down over and over again. His panting in your ear sent shivers down your spine. The alpha relished in the feeling of your slick dripping out of you and falling down to his thighs, the sloshing making him want to pound into you even harder. Your little breathy ‘ah’s filled the room along with the sounds of your ever accumulating slick.

“Fucking hell omega, you’re taking me so well. Nice and tight and so fucking wet. Is that slick all f’ me?” You were too caught up in the pleasure, not registering that he had asked you a question. The alpha halted his movements, making you let out a desperate whine that turned to a cry when he laid a sharp slap against your butt. After he smacked it he grabbed a handful of the tender flesh and squeezed. “I expect an answer when I ask you a question.” 

“Yes yes! M’ so wet for my alpha.” You began to cry as you tried to bounce on his dick but he kept you stationary. He gave your ass another hard slap, this time groaning when he felt you clench down on him even as you hissed from the pain. “Please alpha, need to move, need to cum please.” 

He hummed in thought as if weighing his options. You couldn’t stop your squirming as you tried to gain more friction but his hold on you was too tight. Just when you were about to cry again he delivered one more stinging strike to your skin, then roughly fucked up into you and resumed his previous pace. 

Your nails were clawing into his bare shoulders as you felt your high approaching quickly. You started nibbling on his neck hoping to stimulate the man even more than he already was and it seemed like your efforts were not in vain. 

“Fuck omega, I’m getting so close, need to feel you cum on my cock then alpha will give you his knot. You want alphas knot, pretty girl?” His voice was throaty and rough and it made your eyes roll with how sexy it sounded as it sent you even further into that deep subspace that only he could send you too. The alpha could make your brain fuzzy with a single look; when he fucked you it sent it into overdrive. 

“Uh huh, wan’ your knot.” Your words were slurred, barely making it out of your mouth before he changed up the tempo and made his movements more of a deep grind into your core, hitting your special spot and also letting his pelvis rub perfectly against your clit. “Fuck oh my god gonna cum. Alpha m’ gonna cum!” 

“Go ahead, baby. Make a mess on my lap.” 

With his permission you let go and felt the snap within you, your pussy tightening around him as you came. “Ngggggghhhhhhh Channie! Alpha!” 

There was a deep rumble from within the man's chest as he gave into his instincts and started rutting up into you harder than ever before, making you scream at the overstimulation. He gave you three more rough thrusts before you felt his knot begin to inflate within you, locking himself into place within you and warm spurts of his essence coated your walls. You couldn’t stop spasming and squirming on his lap as you felt him fill you to the brim. 

After a few moments Chan seemed to catch his breath but you couldn’t stop shaking and whining. He let go of his hold on your thighs and ass, bringing one hand to the back of your head as he stroked you to soothe you. “Shh baby, you’re ok. I’ve got ya.” He gave your cheek a gentle kiss and he pumped out calming pheromones. It took you a few minutes to finally come back down to earth. When you came to your senses you lifted your face from his neck, both your face and his neck were wet with your tears and you looked dazed. “Are you ok my love?” You nodded with a ‘hmfp’. He chuckled at how cute you were. “Did alpha fuck you too good?” 

You nodded again and felt your face heat up at his words. “Mmhmm. So good. Missed alphas cock.” 

“My baby is turning dirty!” He mocked a gasp in shock. “You’re spending too much time with those heathens, they’re corrupting you.” 

You giggled and kissed his cheek, “I think it’s you who's doing the corrupting around here Channie.” You tilted your face to align with his and you gave him a deep kiss on his plump lips. His tongue invaded your mouth and mingled with your own, giving you a taste of each other. 

He pulled away with a loud ‘mwah’ and rubbed your noses together, making you giggle and peck his lips again. You could feel his knot beginning to deflate, so the alpha adjusted his hold on you to lift you up gently and pull you off of his member. You hissed when you felt him leave your body, the knot not yet down completely so it gave you a small tug as it left you. That pain turned to relief when you were able to move your legs- the appendages burning from the held position. 

Chan helped you off his lap and to your feet. Your legs felt like jelly and almost gave out but he was there to catch you and steady you. “Easy baby, gotta be careful after a rockus love making like that.” His tone was cocky and he grinned the same way, making you roll your eyes and stick your tongue out at him. “You watch that little tongue of yours omega, you stick it out too much and something may just come by and snatch it!” He made a quick pinching motion at your face making you squeal and back away from him. 

“You can’t have it, it's mine!” You pushed his hands away as they reached out to grab you again, both of you unable to control your laughter. “Get away you monster!” 

“Monster? Oh no baby, I’m the big bad wolf.” He grinned evilly and wiggled his fingers at you. “And if I catch you I’m gonna eat you up.” 

“You won’t eat me!” You backed away further and towards the door while still keeping your eyes on him. Just as your hand reached the doorknob he pounced, making you shriek. “Ahhh no no no!” You wretched the door open and flew out of the room, the alpha hot on your tail.

“Where ya goin little red? Don’t you wanna play with the wolf?” He reached for you but you barely made it past his fingertips.

“No thanks! I don’t play with monsters!” You managed to get down the hall to the bathroom in the hallway, closing it and locking it a mere second before your alpha got to the door. “Yes I made it! Take that you dirty wolf!” He pretended to scratch at the door and you stuck out your tongue again at the door. “You can’t see it but I’m sticking my tongue out at you!” 

You could hear him chuckle and scratch at the door again. “Come on out and play with me some more little omega. Give this wolf another taste of you.” Both of you knew he could make you come out if he really wanted too, but the chase was more fun. No sense in ending it with an alpha command. 

“Nuh uh, I’m fine here.” 

“Hmm, I’ll get my hands on you eventually, little red. I am a patient wolf.” The playful bite in his tone sent a quiver through your body and your brain fuzzy. It made your hands twitch and you almost opened the door for him. Almost. 

“We’ll see about that. Now get outta here so you don’t listen to me pee!” 

He just laughed and then you heard his footsteps walk away from the door. 

Coming out of the bathroom after doing your business and brushing your teeth you caught a glimpse of a stocky figure rounding a corner down the hall. 

Changbin 

You sped after him reaching your hand out before he could go into his room. “Binnie, wait. Where have you been? Are you ok?” 

His head spun around to you then quickly back around, not looking you in the eye and seeming nervous. “Hi Y/n.” 

“Y/n? Since when do you call me by my real name?” You were confused and honestly a little hurt and it showed in your voice. You reached a hand out to touch his shoulder but he jerked it away, still not looking at you. “And why won’t you look at me? Have I done something wrong?”

That made him whip his head back to you, balking at you. “You get borderline assaulted because of me… and you ask me if you did something wrong? Are you serious?” 

“Oh Bin..” You knew he would be taking it hard. “I’m fi-” 

“Don’t say you're fine or it’s ok like I know you’re about too. It’s not ok, Y/n.” He put up a hand and cut you off. His hard gaze went back to the floor. You could just barely see his lash line fill with unshed tears. “Nothing about me being a shitty alpha to you is ok, so let’s not stand here and pretend it is.” 

You shook your head, a deep furrow in your brow. “Binnie don’t say that-” 

“It’s true! If I had been more aware -paid more attention to you- then you would have never been grabbed, let alone touched at all. I selfishly put my own wants before your needs. A good alpha wouldn’t have let that creep touch you.” His voice was raised and harsher than you had ever heard it. Usually he was loud with laughter and fun; it felt unnatural and made a pit settle in your stomach.

Now your own eyes were filled with liquid and all you wanted was to comfort him. “Changbin, it’s not your fault. Will you look at me please?” He still refused to look at you, choosing to keep his head down instead but you did see him sniffle a little bit.

“I don’t deserve to look at you.” 

“Seo Changbin” You tried to make your voice as hard as possible and you put your hands on his cheeks tilting his head back up and making him look at you. “Look at me. I. am. Fine. Do I look hurt? Do I seem like something is wrong with me?” 

“No..” He mumbled, a tear escaping his eye. You were quick to wipe it away with your thumb. 

“Then why are you beating yourself up about it, huh? I am here safe with the pack. Safe with you. We are all here together safe and sound, isn’t that all that matters?” 

“Only because Minho stepped in.. If he hadn't, who knows what could have happened to you.” By now the tears were streaming down the man's face, wetting his cheeks and your hands that still held them. 

“Changbin, that is enough! You are a great alpha and I have no doubt in my mind you would have come to my rescue soon enough. And it doesn’t matter who got there first anyway, what is important is that you and I are both here together. So please, please stop being so hard on yourself. It’s breaking my heart. I cannot bear to see you so upset.” You meant every word and looking in your glassy eyes he knew you did. He knew you weren’t one to lie. 

The alpha couldn’t hold it in anymore and released a quiet sob, attacking you into a much needed hug. “M’ so sorry baby. I love you so much. I don’t know what I would have done if he had hurt you.” 

Even though you were also crying you attempted to sooth him, your hand going from his face to his back as you held on to him. “Shh it’s ok. I love you too, Changbin. My sweet, wonderful, handsome alpha.” 

He sobbed even harder, his grip on you tightening as he tried to get as close to you as possible. You let him hold on to you for as long as he needed, the both of you crying and comforting the other. After a few minutes he slowly pulled back from the hug, instead choosing to bring your mouths together for a tender kiss. You practically melted into his kiss, his soft lips molding with yours. Even though there was no teasing or tongue involved it was just as deep and full of passion. 

This time it was you who pulled back first, your hands coming back up to his face and wiping away the remaining wetness from his perfectly rounded cheeks. “No more tears from you, I can’t stand to see you in pain.” You whispered, giving him your most sincere eyes. 

“Now you know how I feel when you cry.” He replied just as quietly. Changbin gave you one last quick peck then let you go completely, stepping back from you and a pink tinge appearing on his cheeks. He cleared his throat and you couldn’t help but to giggle. Of course you giggling made him join you; your laugh was just that contagious. 

The mood was instantly lightened, the tension visibly lifting from the alpha as he calmed down. But there was still a question remaining in your mind. “Binnie, where did you go last night? I didn’t sense that you came home, I was worried.” 

“I uh,” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “I just spent the night walking around the woods. I was too ashamed to face you or Minho, so I thought it was easier to just walk home from the carnival to collect my thoughts.” 

You nodded in understanding, grabbing his hand and rubbing the back of his knuckles. “I’m just glad you came home at all. Chan told me he had talked to you but he didn’t specify what he had said so I was scared he had given you an unjust punishment.” You noticed the grimace in his expression. “Wait, did he? What did he say to you?” 

Bin shrugged as if it was no big deal but the crack in his voice gave him away. “Nothing crazy… He just took away my gym privileges for a while.” 

You quietly gasped and pulled him into another hug, “Oh Binnie, that’s horrible I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s ok Baby, all it means is I have to work out at home. Give ya a show.” He flexed his muscles at you, giving you a wink and making you laugh. 

“How about you come give me a show right now? I need to take a shower and you could join me if you want.”  You made a show of biting your lip dramatically and wiggling your eyebrows. 

Changbin burst into that high pitched laughter that you loved so much and nodded his head. “I could definitely use a shower after being outside all night.” 

You sniffed him and made a fake disgusted face, waving a hand in front of your face. “Yeah I’ll say.” 

“Hey now don’t you start bullying me! You’re turning into those jerks!” 

“H-O-T-T-O-G-O. YOU CAN’T TAKE ME HOT TO GO!” 

It was about three hours later after your shower with Changbin (which to your surprise did not turn sexual), and you were just finishing up sweeping the kitchen floors after you cleaned up breakfast while listening to music. You wanted to get a few things done today; feeling energized and needing to dance it out while you cleaned up. You offered Changbin to help you but he was exhausted after his night meandering the woods. 

“H-O-T-T-O-G-O, snap and clap and touch your toes

Raise your hands, now body roll, dance it out, you're hot to go” 

You did as the song said, bending down and body rolling, getting lost in the music. You were so thankful there was a radio in the kitchen. A low whistle from the kitchen entryway scared you, making you turn in fright and a hand fly to your chest. 

“Seungmin, stop scaring me!” 

The beta snickered, leaning on the wall. “Can’t help that we keep meeting like this little puppy.” His darkening eyes raked over your form, subconsciously licking his lips. He had observed you dancing for a few minutes before he whistled; drinking in the sight of you in a little maroon skirt and one of his t-shirts. Don’t get him started on the little peek of your little purple panties that he got to see while you were bent over. It was enough to make a grown man cry. 

A grumbled ‘hmpf’ left your lips and you crossed your arms, clearly unamused. “I don’t know if you have some sixth sense but you always seem to know when I’m distracted.” You narrowed your eyes playfully at him. “You obsessed with me or something?” 

Seungmin scoffed and pushed off the wall, coming to stand right in front of you and keeping eye contact. “More than you know, little puppy.” His gaze was so intense it made you backup a foot until your back touched the edge of the counter, where the beta put his hands to cage you in. His eyes flickered to your lips then back to your own and he leaned down ever so slightly. 

Your lids began to close in anticipation of his kiss, but it didn’t come. Instead you were surprised again when you felt his hands go down to the back of your exposed thighs and you were suddenly lifted off the floor. “Seungmin!” You shrieked, and smacked at his shoulder. 

“Calm down pup, don’t go throwing hands I’m just putting you on the counter.” 

As he said he lifted you and seated you promptly on the counter behind you. Your legs were dangling off the side and Seungmin got another peak at your underwear.  

“You drive me crazy enough to throw hands so really I don’t think I am to blame.” You stuck out your tongue at him and he rolled his eyes, then pinched you quickly and backed away snickering. “Ow!” 

“Dramatic omega.” He wagged a finger at you in jest, laughing again when you huffed. The man turned and opened the freezer, pulling out two mini popsicles. “Put the claws away or you won’t get one of these.” He waved one around in front of you. 

You made grabby hands at the sweet treat , giving him your best teasing pleading voice. “Gimme please!” You cheered when the beta handed you the frozen pop. “Hell yeah!” 

Without wasting any time you unwrapped the treat and started to eat it. You hummed in satisfaction as you took in the flavor. Blue raspberry; your favorite. Seungmin just watched as you ate your pop lost in your own world. He felt the tent in his pants grow tighter as you sucked and licked the phallic ice pop and were oblivious to the show you were putting on for him. 

“That looks good, where’s mine?” 

Both you and Seungmin were pulled from your thoughts by Chan who had walked into the kitchen. 

“Uh” The beta stuttered, then pointed to the freezer. “I picked them up the other day, do you want one, Chan?” 

Chan had taken notice of you both before he even spoke, already getting a read on the younger male's dominant and lusty energy. Well, that, and he watched as Seungmin couldn’t take his eyes off of your sinful mouth or your panties that were on display. 

“Hmmm, no thanks Seung. But I may just steal a taste of yours, baby.” The alpha smiled cheekily as you happily stuck your treat out for him. He stuck his tongue out as if he was going to take a lick, then he chomped down quickly on your pop, biting off a large chunk. 

“NO HOW COULD YOU?!” You yelled, shocked at the sudden loss of your popsicle; your now blue mouth open and eyes wide. “YOU SAID YOU WANTED A TASTE! A TASTE!” 

Both boys were laughing at your plight as you stared down at your now almost gone pop. “M’ sorry my love, alpha will buy another whole case while I’m out, just for you. How’s that sound?” He brought you into a hug with you still sitting on the counter as you pouted. 

You perked up at the idea of your own box- then his other words registered in your brain. “Wait where are you going?” 

“Just gotta go run an errand. I won’t be too long.” There was something malicious behind his usually kind eyes, it was so subtle but you and Seungmin both caught it. Chan laid a kiss to your cold lips and gave your knee a pat. “Be good for Minnie, I’ll see you soon omega.” He winked then he was out of the room. 

You looked to Minnie hoping he would give you an answer to the alphas behavior but instead you found him already staring at you. Or more specifically the melting ice in your hand. The juice was dripping down your fingers now and you cursed softly when you noticed the mess it was about to create. 

Before you could grab a nearby towel to clean it up your wrist was grabbed by warm fingers. “M-minnie?” 

The beta plucked the stick from your hand and threw it in the sink a few feet away- the wood making a quiet thump as it landed. Seungmin took the hand that was in his grasp and lifted it up to his face and stuck out his tongue. You held your breath as he slowly licked up the dripping juice that lingered on your fingers. The action was so erotic and abrupt that you felt a flood of slick form in your underwear. 

Seungmin held eye contact while he licked and sucked each individual finger, and you were too entranced to move even an inch. Only after each finger had been ~thoroughly~  cleaned by him did Seungmin let you go. He licked his lips and smirked down at your still dumbstruck expression. “That was pretty tasty. I wonder what other sweet treat you're hiding from me.” 

The boy dropped a wink at you then he fell to his knees in front of you; his hands went to your bare thighs, where they made quick work of pushing your skirt up and out of the way of his next meal. He groaned at the sight of the wet patch of the front of your panties, making you feel self conscious and you threw your palms over your face. “Seungmin! We’re in the kitchen! We can’t do this here!”

He scoffed, “No better place to eat than in the kitchen.” You could feel his hand leave one of your thighs, then you felt the rough pad of what you could assume was his thumb on your clit, rubbing you through the purple material and making your hips buck on reflex. “Looks like you want it too, huh pretty puppy? Gonna sit like a good pup and let your master give you a treat?” 

You didn’t answer him while you sat in contemplation, but that was not what Seungmin wanted. You gasped when your hands were yanked away from hiding you and his rough fingers gripped the underside of your chin, squishing your cheeks harshly. 

“I asked you if you were gonna be good for me, don’t act like a mutt and answer my question.” His growled words held a warning in them and you knew better than to test his patience right now. 

“Yesh Seunminf.” You answered the best you could with your smushed lips, eyes already glassy and begging for his mercy. 

“Good girl.” 

His signature smirk returned to his beautiful face and he let your face go then brought his attention back to your center. This time he decided to not waste anymore time, and he dove in face first to your clothed core. Seungmin nosed your clit through the fabric and it had you gushing even more. He was breathing deeply as if trying to absorb as much of your pure scent as possible and you could see a hint of his eyes rolling back into his head. It made you want to hide behind your hands again but you didn’t want to risk the repercussions. 

He hummed when his wet tongue stuck out and he pulled your panties into his mouth, sucking your essence out of the fabric. The act was one of the lewdest things you have ever fucking seen; it made your body burn with both embarrassment and titilation. 

“Minnie” You couldn’t stop the moan that escaped when he kept licking into you, making obscene grunts as he feasted on you and made your underwear beyond soaked. As good as it felt it was not enough. You craved more. “Minnie please.” 

He ignored your plea, instead he dug his face even further as he suckled your panties into his mouth. The beta was getting lost in you- in your pussy- it was his favorite thing in the world (everything about you was, really). He kept at it until he felt your thighs squeeze against his head. 

Seungmin pulled his face back and glared at you for interrupting him. “Thought you were gonna behave.” 

You whimpered and bit your lip. “M’ sorry Minnie. Didn’t mean too. Just need more.” 

“More?” He scoffed, “My greedy puppy wants more? You think you deserve it?” 

You nodded rapidly, rushing your words out.  “Yes, please. Been good.” 

He huffed in contemplation, then he surprised you by ripping your soaking underwear off your body and suddenly you were hoisted from your place on the counter. “Fine, I'll give my puppy a real treat then.” He crashed his lips into yours, his mouth instantly devouring your own. You moaned against his lips and you felt him smirk again, and he nibbled on your tongue, making you squeal from the light pain. 

Thinking he was going to set you down on the ground you had no time to react before you found that the beta had basically thrown himself down onto the ground on his back, and hauled you down with him so you were sat atop of his chest. Then he gave you an expectant look. 

“Uhh” You were utterly confused, “I dont…I don’t know what…” 

Seungmin rolled his eyes and sighed, “Thought it was pretty obvious.” He motioned to his face. “Sit on my face.” 

“Huh?” 

“Sorry. Please sit on my face.” 

The casualty of his request was staggering; it left you in absolute shock especially since he had requested it in the kitchen. That was the biggest hurdle that you were having trouble getting over. “But..We’re in the kitchen… during broad daylight where anyone could walk in on us... Maybe we should go up to your room?” 

Your defiance was starting to irritate the beta, his eyes hardening even further and he let out a growl. “I don’t give a flying fuck where we are or what time of day it is. I will fuck you whenever and whereever I want. Now scoot your ass up here and sit on my fucking face and let me eat your pretty pussy. I’m done asking.” 

You yelped when his hands harshly gripped your thighs and he forcefully dragged you up until you were hovering over his awaiting mouth. The grip he had on you only tightened when he immediately dug his face into your core, making you gasp at the contact and your hands flew to his hair to balance yourself or you would have risked falling over.  

“Oh my god, Seungmin!” You couldn’t help but rock your hips as you moaned and called out his name as he lapped at your center; greedily swallowing down the nectar that flowed freely from you.  By now his nails were embedding themselves into your skin with how hard they were digging in, trying to keep you still so he could enjoy his meal. “M-minnie, s’good.” 

“Mmmmmm” He hummed and slurped at you obscenely, his lips encircled your clit and you felt the vibrations hit your sensitive nub. You jerked and spasmed when he gave your clit a teasing nip with his teeth. He chuckled when you tried to get away from the painful pleasure and held on even tighter; so tight you could feel the blood begin to rush from the wounds his nails inflicted. “Nope, you’re staying right here.” 

The slurping and moaning was so loud that honestly you were surprised someone else hadn’t already walked in to find you in this compromising position. Though the music was still playing so the tunes must be drowning out your obscenities. You looked down at the boy beneath you and his face was hidden by your skirt, the flimsy material hiding his rapturous expression. 

“So fucking tasty.” The beta mumbled, his words muffled,  feeling himself become almost drunk on your ambrosia. “Most delectable pussy I’ve ever tasted.”  

“You really have no fucking shame, do you Seungmin? I can smell what you're doing from outside.” 

Your head had been thrown back in pleasure so you hadn’t noticed a new arrival to the kitchen, nor had you noticed said arrival leaning against the counter a few feet away watching your fucked out expression for at least five minutes. 

Seungmin growled from under you, feeling possessive over his bounty. “Go away Minho. We’re busy.” 

The elder beta snorted a laugh, “Yeah I can see that.” Minho waltzed over to where Seungmin laid on the ground and crouched down in front of you. He reached out and lifted the skirt that hid the boy's face, meeting the mean glare that the younger boy was sporting; though Seungmin never stopped his ministrations. Minho flipped the skirt back over the others face and stood again. 

Minho took in your glassy eyes and the little whimpers that escaped your lips with every suck and swipe of the younger boy's tongue. He noticed the way your mouth puckered subconsciously as if it were searching for something. Minho reached out and cupped your cheek in his warm hand, his thumb running along your open bottom lip. 

“M-min” Your voice was pleading, though you didn’t know what you were asking for. 

“Mmm what do you need omega?” He cooed at you condescendingly, already having an idea but wanting to piss off the other beta. “Need me to take care of you too?” 

“I said go the fuck away you asshole. She doesn’t need anything from you.” Seungmin all but snarled at Minho, his voice raspy and wet from the juices in his mouth. 

“I wasn’t asking you, Seungminnie. I was asking our beautiful omega.” He stroked your cheek and kept looking down into your watery eyes, holding deep eye contact. “And by the looks of it she needs a little more stimulation. So what do you say, Baby?” 

You didn’t want to upset Seungmin but you needed something more. With trepidation you nodded your head, and grabbed onto the man standing in front of you. 

“M-more, Minho. Please.” 

He tsked, “Is that what you call me, omega?” 

Was he really about to embarrass you in front of Seungmin? 

He looked down at you with that domineering gaze and a flicker of arrogance on his face.

Yes. Yes he was. 

“Sir.” You whined, trying to keep your voice low. 

“Hmm? What was that, I couldn’t hear you. You’ll have to speak up like a big girl.” 

Seungmins tongue buried particularly deep into your hole, making you moan and lurch forward into Minho who held you steady. 

You took a deep breath and blinked back tears. You raised your voice a few octaves and held him tighter. “Sir, need something. Please Sir.” 

“Oh my fucking god” You heard Seungmin murmur in disbelief at the nickname you called Minho. 

“That’s my good girl. Here you go baby.” The patronizing beta ran his thumb along your lip again before forcefully shoving it into your open mouth. Instantly you started sucking on the appendage, it being just what you needed for your oral fixation. You hummed around the digit and lathed your tongue on the pad of it. 

Your hips started bucking even more and your whines got louder. You could feel your high approaching at a rapid pace now and apparently the two men could tell you were close. Just as you felt the knot begin to tighten within you, Seungmin gave your clit a big suck into his mouth and that was the kick you needed. 

The welled up tears started to leak down your face as you came, and your eyes fluttered shut at the delicious pleasure that went through your whole body. Your eyes snapped back open when you felt a sharp sting on your cheek and Minho was glowering down at you still with his cat-like eyes. 

“Look at me while he makes you cum. Don’t you dare look away from me.” He hissed and shoved another finger down your throat, making you choke. 

You fought to keep your eyes open as you came, shaking and whimpering from your place on Seungmins face. The slurping from below got louder as your sweet essence was dranken up by the beta man. The sound was downright filthy. 

Finally, Seungmins tongue had stopped moving within you and had returned to his own mouth. He gave you a moment to finish shaking then he scooted you down so you sat on his stomach once again. Minho let his hands fall from your face as he drank in the fucked out sight of you. 

Seungmin lifted his head from the floor as he comfortingly ran his fingers over the small wounds his nails left. His face was drenched in your slick, the liquid dripping down his chin as he sat up slightly and his tongue shot out to catch the drippage. He made a show of groaning at the taste of it when he licked his lips. 

“Mmm delectable.” 

You felt your face heat up as the mortification caught up with you. You peeked up to see Minho still standing there watching your every move and you couldn’t bear to look him or Seungmin in the eye so you cast them down instead. 

“What’s the matter, puppy? Are you embarrassed that Minho Hyung caught you out in the open acting like a dirty mutt in heat for me? Or are you upset you didn’t get to cum on my cock instead?” 

The teasing words had you whimpering and you involuntarily clenched your thighs around Seungmins waist. Seungmin was growing more and more open to the help of Minho, seeing how desperate it had made you and he knew the new possible ways to play with you were endless. 

Minho bent down and got close to your face as he fake pouted. “Aww I think she wants you to fuck her properly, Minnie. Look at her writhing at the mere thought of it.” It was true, you were fidgeting and you could feel even more slick gathering from your pussy and onto Seungmins shirt. “Poor baby needs your dick, Seung.” 

They both grinned at each other mischievously, both betas locking eyes in a silent understanding. This was going to be so fun.

The maps on Chan's phone alerted him that his destination was on the right hand side. The alpha kissed his teeth as he threw his phone on the passenger seat, then opened the door and stepped out. This was his last and most pressing matter of the day and he was ready to get it over with. 

Stepping up to the doorstep of the small house Chan knocked on the door and waited. After a minute the door was opened to a familiar face. 

“Chan, what a surprise! What can I do for you?” The elder man had a kind smile and seemed genuinely happy to see Chan. 

“How are you, JYP? It’s been awhile.” Chan shook hands with the beta man and he peered past the door for a moment. They exchanged quick pleasantries but Chan declined the offer to come inside. “Oh no thank you, I can’t stay long. I was actually looking for Wooyoung. I heard he was staying with you and wondered if he was in?” 

“My nephew? Yes he is in right now, I’ll get him for you.” Chan smiled and thanked JYP. “WOOYOUNG YOU HAVE A VISITOR!” 

A thundering of feet could be heard walking through the house and then Chan got his first in-person look at Wooyoung. The beta was slightly taller than Chan was, and he had long arms but he was on the lankier side. He noticed the smile fell from Wooyoung's face when he saw just who was at the door for him. Chan heard him whisper a quiet ‘shit’, and he had to bite back a devilish grin. 

“Hi, my name is Chan. I was wondering if you had a second to speak with me.” He noticed the hesitation on the boy's face, so he pressed the order a tad harder. “It’ll only take a minute.” 

Wooyoung was shoved out the door by his uncle, who gave him a pat on the back. “ Of course he has plenty of time! Chan does alot for this town, so be polite Wooyoung.” With that the elder man shut the door and gave them some privacy.

Chan could see the nerves that laid within the boy; the twiddle of his fingers and the anxious run of his tongue on his lip gave him away instantly. Good, he should be scared. 

“Nice to meet you Wooyoung. Changbin has told me alot about you.” 

“O-oh. Changbin is a good friend.” 

The alpha hummed in agreement, nodding. “He is. He is a good man and a great pack mate.” Chan took a subtle step closer to the beta. 

“Did Changbin send you here?” Wooyoung asked, mentally running over what Bin could have said to Chan. 

Chan clicked his teeth, and shook his head. “Nah. I came of my own volition. I actually had a question I wanted to ask you.” 

“Ok, what is i-” Before Wooyoung could finish his question, Chan's hand shot out and grabbed onto the younger man's throat. Suddenly Wooyoung's face was shoved forcefully against the wood of the house, his nose smashing and he could feel the crack of his bone and blood start to drip out. 

Chan snickered at the noise of pain Wooyoung let out and he tightened his grip on his neck. Chan dug his nails sharply into the skin and he felt the betas windpipe beneath his fingers. He got closer to Wooyoung until his broad body was trapping him against the wall.

“Do you like being grabbed, Wooyoung?” Chan seethed but kept his tone relatively calm, albeit a bit menacing. “Do you like it when a stranger that's stronger than you puts his hands on you?” When the beta didn’t answer Chan yanked him back and re-shoved his bloody face into the wood and made the beta hiccup from the pain. Chan's other hand had a tight hold on Wooyoung's hands and he kept them locked behind his back so he couldn’t fight back.

 “Let me tell you something, motherfucker. Changbin is a good man. But I’m not.” Chan increased the pressure on his neck, the beta letting out a choking gurgle as the blood flooded his mouth. “And I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty. So this is going to be your only warning.” Chan lowered his voice to an ominous sneer. “If you ever put your filthy fucking hands on my omega or my packmate again, I will rip your arms from your torso and throw them in the woods for the bears to eat.” 

Wooyoung squirmed and moaned in pain, his airways closing more and more with each passing second. For a split second he wondered if he would ever escape. Suddenly all the air he had been searching for came rushing back to him as he was released. Wooyoung fell to his knees and his hands flew to his neck as he coughed and sputtered, the blood of his face flying in specs everywhere.

“The only reason I haven’t done so already is out of respect for your uncle, who has been a pillar in our society. Be grateful he was able to save you… This time.” Chan stepped back and straightened himself out. “Go clean yourself up before you make too big of a mess on that poor man's porch.” 

With that Chan stepped off the porch and left the beta crying and sputtering, and slipped back into his car. He drove away without so much as a single glance back- as if the ordeal hadn’t even occurred at all. 

“Ngghhh” You gurgled out the best you could around Minho's cock but it only came out in a slobbery whine. His member was pistoning in and out of your mouth as he held your hair, using your face to get himself off but also making you incredibly horny. 

Seungmin was still under you but now instead of his face you were sitting atop his dick reverse cowgirl; the thick appendage sliding in with reckless abandon. Your thighs were burning but the divine pleasure of being used by them was too delicious for you to care. The sloshing from both your pussy and your mouth makes you dizzy and your brain mushy- you had no choice but to give yourself over to them completely (much to their- and your- delight).

“Feels so good, your pussy is always so damn tight. My dirty pup. So fucking good for us.” Seungmin could feel the way your walls clenched around him at the praise and it made him moan loudly. He cursed and his own hips started to quiver with the impending orgasm. 

“The best omega we could have asked for.” Minho was next to praise you, his head thrown back and his breathing hard. He himself also was not far from cumming. He groaned at the sight of your tears continuously leaking down your cheeks and mixing with the saliva on your chin. 

Minho opened his eyes when he sensed another presence nearby. Or to him it was more like a pest lurking around. Big boba eyes peered slowly through the threshold, hoping to catch a good look at what was happening in there, his cock twitching in his pants. Minho bit back a grunt, and he called out to the boy. 

“Get outta here Jisung, go jerk off somewhere else you pervert.”

A squeak left the younger boy and he turned around, bumping into his accomplice that seemed just as alarmed at being caught. Felix. He could hear them scurry down the hall together and rolled his eyes at their antics. It didn’t seem like you even noticed they had appeared or left at all.

For the two betas this was sort of poetic. A few weeks prior they had been at odds about you- and now here they were, coming together because of you, both with a common goal in mind; ultimate pleasure. 

“Touch your clit, baby. Make yourself cum on my dick, get me all messy with your slick pretty girl. I wanna be soaked in it from head to toe.” Seungmin requested through his moans and you did as he said, your nimble fingers traveling down your body and to your aching nub. You spasmed and whined when you made contact with it, which in turn made your walls quiver around Minnie's length. 

Minho's hand that wasn’t in your hair was on your now bare breast, fondling the heaving flesh and pinching at your nipple. You cried louder when he pinched particularly roughly on your already abused nipple. It was the final push you needed before you came for the third time today. You gasped and choked on Minho's length, making him pull out of your mouth so you could breathe. 

When you came your walls clamped down on Seungmin and triggered his orgasm, the betas hips stuttering as he filled you with his essence. “Fuuckkkk holy shit, so tight puppy.” 

The view of you both cumming together was too much for Minho and he stroked his member quickly in front of your open mouth, “So hot, what the fuck” he said through clenched teeth as his high came forcefully and his cum spurted out of the tip and onto your face, some of it getting into your open moaning mouth. 

All three of you were quite a sight, all shaking and crying with pleasure together in the middle of the kitchen. You and Seungmin were both covered in cum and slick, the combination of the two leaking out of you and all over the beta man's thighs and onto the floor. Minho couldn’t help himself and he leaned down and ran the fat of his tongue along your cheeks, collecting the salty mixture of your tears and some of his cum, and moaning from the taste. 

After a few moments all three of you were able to collect your breath and calm down. You were drifting in deep space and barely registered Minho's arms scooping you up and off of Seungmin. You let out a quiet hiss when your thighs were able to move from the held position. 

“Shh it’s ok baby. I know you're sore, we’ll take care of you.” Minho cooed and set you down on the counter again. “Hold still f’ me baby.” He used a damp rag to clean the remaining semen off of your face. You sat perfectly still as he made you sip a cup of water provided by Minnie. After every sip you took you were rewarded by pecks on your lips and a soft ‘good girl’. 

 After you finished your water you were scooped up again but this time by Seungmin. He had pulled his shorts back up but you were still completely naked as he carried you through the halls and to Chan's bathroom and to the massive bathtub. 

The two of you bathed together as you slowly came back down to earth. The beta smothered you with kisses and made sure to clean you thoroughly. It was just what you needed after the rough fucking they had put you through, even though you enjoyed it immensely. 

Minho was in the kitchen cleaning up the mess when he heard Chan come in and head into the kitchen, a grocery bag in his hand. Chan noticed the blush on the betas cheeks and the mop in his hand, a knowing smirk coming across the alphas face. 

“Make a mess?” 

Minho eyed the specs of blood that stained Chan's shirt and raised a brow. “I could ask you the same.” 

Chan shrugged and set the bag on the freshly cleaned counter top, pulling out a brand new pack of popsicles that he promptly stuck in the freezer. “Just went to clean up a mess, actually.” 

The beta hummed in understanding. “Baby is in the bath with Seung. She is feeling really delicate right now so I’d change my shirt if I were you.” 

Chan shot him a grateful thumbs up and headed up to his room, tearing his shirt off before he entered. He could hear you giggling and the sound of the drain from his bathroom so he quickly shucked on a new shirt then went into the adjoining room. 

“Stop Minnie!” You were laughing as you playfully pushed Seungmin away as he tried to tickle your sides. You were sitting on the counter as the beta dried you off after your bath. 

“I can’t help it, rules are rules, I have to tickle you after a bath. I can’t change the law, omega.” 

“You liar! Stop your nonsense!” It was then that you noticed Chan enter the bathroom. “Alpha!” You beamed and reached a hand out as a plea for help against the beta.

“I’ll save you, my love.” He laughed and dramatically grabbed Seungmin by the shoulders and shook him, making the beta laugh even louder and try to hold on to you. Chan was able to pull Seungmin away and held his arms as the younger boy struggled. “I got him, run baby!” 

You wrapped your towel tighter around you and hopped off the counter, only for your legs to give out after you took a single step and you plummeted to the ground. Your thighs were so sore you couldn’t even walk. 

At once both boys stopped playing and rushed to your side, with Chan hauling you up into his arms. “Are you ok baby?” 

You nodded, giggling and burying your face into his chest. You noticed that he wasn’t wearing the shirt he left in, but you decided not to bring it up. “Yeah I’m fine. My legs are just too weak right now. You guys really did a number on me.” You didn’t miss the low five Chan offered Seungmin. “Hey!” You smacked his shoulder and he only laughed harder. “You guys are ridiculous.”

Seungmin realized he was still borderline naked; with only a towel wrapped around his waist- and gave you a tender kiss as you sat in the alphas arms. “I’m gonna go get dressed. I’ll see you in a little while, pup.” 

Nodding you returned his kiss, “Ok Minnie. I love you.” 

“Love you too.” He felt his face heat up as he murmured the sentiment, glaring at the alpha who smirked at him and wiggled his brows. “Oh fuck off Hyung.” 

“Loooovee youuuu Minnniieeeee” Chan drawled teasingly as the younger passed him, cackling when Seungmin flipped him off as he left the room. Chan carried you to his bed and set you down on the soft sheets. Then he gathered a tank top and a pair of his boxers for you to wear. 

“How was your day, Channie?” You asked him once you were dressed. 

He tossed his head back and forth with a grin. “I had a pretty good day. And by the smell in the house I could say you did too.” Your face heated up and you pouted. “You won’t be pouting for long, omega. I got you something special while I was gone.”

That perked you right up, eyes showing your excitement. “Really? What is it?” 

“Close your eyes.” You did as you were told, screwing your lids shut tight. You heard him shuffle until he was on his knees on the bed behind you. Ever so slightly you felt the coolness of a metal chain fall around your neck, and you could feel Chan clip it behind you. “You can open your eyes now my love.” 

You snapped them open and instantly looked down at the necklace. Hanging down on a little silver chain was a ‘C’ made of rose gold. You cradled the pendant and turned to face your alpha, your lip wobbling. “Oh Channie. I love it. Thank you so much.” You launched yourself into him and wrapped him in your arms. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” 

Chan felt sheepish all of a sudden, holding on to you just as tight. “You’re welcome, baby. I know you have my bite but I wanted you to have another little piece of me with you always. Somewhere I can stay close to your heart.” 

You were literally melting at his words, your heart feeling light in your chest as you squeezed him. “I love you Channie. So, so much. I’m so grateful to have you.” 

“Aww baby, I love you too. More than words could express.” He kissed the top of your head. 

Chan couldn’t imagine his life without you in it, he loved you so much. Hell, you were soulmates for crying out loud. He would do anything for you. Care for you, love you, protect you. And nothing and no one was going to take you from him. That he was certain. 

“Oh and I picked you up another pack of popsicles.” 

“Fuck yeah!” 

Looks like omega got eaten after all 😁And chan turned into quite the wolf didn't he 🐺😈

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

Also if any one wants to chat about the story or share predictions please send me an ask!!

Beta read by my loves @ayejaii and @jehhskz <3

©doitforbangchan

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[cherry-leclerc]

back to you ☆ cs55

genre: fluff, oldmoney!reader, strangers to lovers

word count: 3.1k

Fixated from the moment he first saw you, Carlos stays missing someone whom he never even properly met. But that all seems to change one night when you unexpectedly show up to a business dinner.

req!... i'm such a liar lmaooo (iykyk). hope you enjoy, my lil anons :) hope this heals some of the heartbreak we all endured today !!(*bashes head against keyboard*)

It almost seemed like you had something up your sleeve, a tactic to retrieve all of his attention away from the camera shoved right in front of him - media duties.

“Hello guys, just wanted to come on here to say that I think we gave it all we could during today’s race but there is definitely always room for improvement…” Blah, blah, blah. 

He can’t quite figure out what he’s saying because his brown eyes are attached to the pretty girl walking right in front of him. Not behind him, trying to catch up. Not besides him, begging for a photo. Nope, right in front of him as if you could care less that you have one of the most popular drivers to ever exist almost chasing after you. 

He could hear you mumbling about God knows what to the girl walking besides you. The Spaniard feels like a total creep when it comes to him becoming more alert to possibly catch your name. As you were saying? The media team manager stares back expectantly once Carlos blanks out. Though it wasn’t that unusual. 

The 29 year old flickers his gaze back to the camera and then back to where you were, only except, you’re gone. Out of sight and his heart stops for a nanosecond.

“Onto the next week. Vamos.”

-

“So then, you have your upcoming shoot for the new fireproofs, testing, stimulator - if we have time, interview at…” 

Carlos tunes out as he blinks at the never ending list as if it were just another Monday. Charles nods attentively, though he also looks far too uninterested. They were exhausted.

“And dinner tonight to meet our new sponsors.”

“Another one?” Charles asks, a slight crack in voice as he tries to pretend he wasn’t at all annoyed. “We just had one last night.”

Maria musters up a stern look. “Yes, again. They’re a lovely family, so we want to impress them with two well-behaved drivers.” The Ferrari boys swallow their laughter as they nod their heads. Got it. 

It takes all of Carlos’ remaining willpower to get ready for dinner that night. On the way to the small Italian restaurant, he second guesses even showing up. He could fake a fever. A sore throat. Shaking his head, he curses as he steps out of his custom Ferrari. 

“Oh good, I thought it was just going to be me,” Charles jokes as soon as he spots the Spaniard. Carlos chuckles before greeting the team. About 10 minutes go by before the Monegasque grows impatient as a child. I could have finished watching my movie.

“Shut up,” Fred murmurs before abruptly standing up from his seat. “Ah! È così bello rivedere finalmente te e la tua famiglia!” Choking on his champagne, Charles scrunches his nose before flying up and introducing himself. Carlos bites back a smile as he follows his lead. 

And there he sees you, standing elegantly with a silk dress that looks as soft as your skin. You’re smiling sweetly at everyone, stepping in to not just shake their hands, but also go in for a small hug. Your mother and father repeat the same action, though they later focus all of their attention on Fred and Maria. 

The Monegasque kicks his teammate’s shin. Carlos winces as he shoots fiery daggers. “We hit the jackpot.”

“What?”

Charles' shoulders drop theatrically. “Are you kidding me? Are we looking at the same girl right now or are you just blind?” 

But he did see you, and he never quite forgot about you since that day. He could feel the tips of his ear burn bright red as you made your way over to him and his teammate. Charles, so nice to meet you, the green eyed boy beams before going in for a hug. You smile from ear to ear.

“Nice to meet you, too! I must admit; I’m a little starstruck right now.” Charles blushes fast as he stutters his way around such a compliment, even if he’s received thousands of the same one before. “Ah, this is Carlos.”

“Hello,” he feels himself saying. “Carlos, nice to meet you.” As soon as you look up at him, his breath hitches and fears you might feel his sweaty palms flourishing against your soft ones. And if you do, you choose to ignore it as you share a small smile, the kind you share when you see someone after 15 years. 

The kind that seems forced.

“Ditto.”

With one last glance, you excuse yourself before making your way over to where your parents and Fred chatter about upcoming plans. Carlos blinks. “Wow. No hug,” Charles points out. “That’s weird. She was basically giving them out for free.” 

“Be quiet.” 

The remainder of the night you kept to yourself, occasionally inputting your own opinion with a polite smile drawn onto your fruit punch lips. Very well mannered, Fred would approve as you would bow your head with shyness. Carlos quirked a brow of curiosity. 

He wondered what he might’ve done wrong. Had he been too forward? Cold? Often, his parents would claim he could be like that sometimes, so maybe? He wasn’t clinging onto the fact that he was the only one who didn’t receive a warm greeting from you, but he was left with questions.

“E tu, tesoro?”

“What about me?” you repeat, hair fanning along your face like a shiny curtain. Maria chuckles. How do you feel about being a part of this new chapter? You think about it for a second before settling with the safest answer. “Very proud, there’s nothing better than tying links with such a superior team.” Fred roars with genuine laughter as he pats your father’s shoulder. Smart girl.

“Why fine jewelry?”

“Pardon?” 

The inquiry was directed towards your parents - who would clearly have the answer - but his eyes were trained on you, leaving you to fend for yourself. Lips part slowly as you connect with Carlos’ intense attention. “I’m curious, that’s all. I’m delighted we have you as our sponsors, but I was just wondering what made you dive into the business? Must be hard.”

Squinting your eyes, you click your tongue. It’s in our blood, your father’s voice cuts your train of thought. It’s what we do, what we love. But his warm gaze sticks to you like hot glue. You clear your throat before returning to your wide smile. 

“I think it’s safe to say that diamonds are beautiful. They are scarily so crystal clear that for a moment one might search for a trace of color. And then they do come in other colors, so it’s really no problem,” you say, soft chuckles circling the table. “But I believe it’s also safe to say that we don’t often think about how they got here, shining around many ring fingers.” Your mother approves as she shows her mind-blowing diamond cut. 

“Miners are the answer. They work hard - get their hands dirty - because they know that while it may not be easy to find such precious things…” His eyes roam your lips before dancing back up to your orbs. “It’s very well worth it.” Taking a sip from your glass of wine, you raise a brow. “That’s why.”

-

“It doesn’t even feel that tough to wear these pieces,” Charles squeaks as he slips on a white gold bracelet around his wrist. “They’re breathtaking.”

Clapping, you squeal at his words. For a moment, Carlos thinks about punching his teammate for getting to see your good side. They’re great, thank you again. You just tip your head towards him to confirm you heard, and slide away. Carlos sighs.

“This is ridiculous. She can’t even look at me.” The Spaniard bites his cheek. “Do you think she hates me?”

“For doing what?” Charles asks, face pinched with confusion. Carlos huffs, arms flying up.

“I have no idea!”

“Well…I don’t think so, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask, right?”

“No.” He groans. “Can you picture how awkward that would be? There’s no way.”

“Suit yourself.”

-

Pouting, the brown eyed boy zigzags his way into the studio, mentally preparing himself for hours of blinding lights. “Buongiorno, Carlos!” Spotting your father with his arms wrapped around his wife, he walks over with a tired smile. How are you guys? “We’re fine, son, thank you for asking. Tell me, are you excited for this weekend?” He instantly stands up straighter.

“I am. The Tifosi are always great to be around. Gets hectic, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

“I can imagine. My wife and daughter are always amped up when it’s finally Monza’s turn.” He hums, almost as if he’s reminiscing. “Tell you, my baby would beg for us to take her to cheer on her favorite drivers. It’s kind of a full circle moment so don’t mind if my wife gets emotional.”

“Stop,” your mother sniffles as she shares a grimace. Told you, your father mouths. Carlos laughs. 

“I completely get it, it must mean a lot to all three of you. Maybe that’s what makes this partnership work all the more.” Your fathers winks, large fingers wagging over at the Spaniard. Working over time. I respect it. 

“I see why my daughter likes you.”

Carlos halts. “Sorry?”

The older man pants, seeming comedically defeated. “Are you kidding me? She adores you! You've been her favorite driver since you joined Formula 1.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Her love towards the sport had a huge impact on us to join as sponsors, but to be fair, we probably still would have done it. Like I said, it holds a special place in our hearts.”

“Buongiorno,” your soft voice echoes, skipping happily to greet the Ferrari team. Everyone’s energy quickly picks up as you flow with such easiness, skirt wrapping around your waist, making you seem like the only flower in an empty garden. Talk to you in a bit, you cheer as you make your way up to your parents. You stop dead in your tracks as soon as you spot the grumpy brunette. Like always, he can physically see you create a wall around yourself, keeping you from him. He felt like the Beast drooling over the rose inside the glass. “Good morning, Carlos. Logo looks good,” you hum, dark red pedicure pointing at your last name printed onto his fireproof. “Can’t wait to see how it looks on Charles.”

His jaw ticks. “Why don’t I call him then?”

“That would be lovely.”

He’s jealous. Of course he fucking is. He might have found out your whole act is a facade but that didn’t stop him from feeling this way. He could have been your favorite at one point, but what about now? It sure as hell didn’t seem like it.

“She wants to see you.”

The Monegasque furrows his brows. Who? But as soon as he notices his teammates' sour face, he registers the reason for his bad mood. “Stop pouting. You look like you just sucked on a lemon.” Carlos shoots a deadpan expression. “This has gone too far. It’s obviously bothering you.”

“What? You nagging?”

“Okay, ouch.” The green eyed boy takes a small step towards the Spaniard. “You don’t like it that she’s ignoring you because you like her.”

Carlos jumps off the couch. “I do not!” Charles hums. 

“Oh shit, good, then I could ask her out.” He beams. “I wouldn’t want things to get weird between us.” Carlos' heart almost jumps out of his chest as he grows nauseous at the thought of you saying yes. He continues. “I’m telling you; I have a good feeling.” The brown eyed boy clenches his jaw. “It’s like this - I could see myself marrying her, having a baby heiress-”

“Okay fine, I like her!” He pants. “She drives me so fucking crazy. Whether she looks my way or not, she makes my head spin. Ever since I saw her at the Canada GP, she’s been imprinted into my brain like a lecture I’ve been told over and over, time and time again. It makes me sick that she seems to almost get sad when she’s around me. The way she can never look at me the way I’ve always looked at her. And I’m…” He looks down at his race boots. “I’m too afraid of ruining something that I don’t even have a chance at.”

The Monegasque pats him on the shoulder, lips stretched out into a teasing smirk. “Now, was it that hard to admit your feelings?”

-

It was that hard to admit his feelings. He thought about it for the first time since he met you. Confess everything that’s been locked away deep inside of him; claim his feelings like some kind of gold medal. But then he saw you radiating pure perfection and he would turn the other way. You hated him, he’s sure.

“Alright Carlos, push, now push.” 

He could taste it - sweet victory that he badly craved. If he played his cards right then he could get second place, which was pretty good in comparison to past results. 

The Spaniard tries to not feel too upset about coming in third and waves up at the Tifosi who let out blood curdling screams. Pride rushes through his veins as he walks onto the podium, he didn’t even mind all the attention. Especially the kind you were gifting him with.

The way you smile so big that your perfect teeth shine up at him, eyes crinkling like a love letter. Cheekbones slightly pink from cheering so loud but also from the bright sun. He swore he was on some kind of drug. 

Making his way back into the motorhome after all the interviews, he bumps into you and your parents. “Like it?” he asks as he displays his trophy. 

“Definitely,” your father beams. “You deserve it, son, enjoy it.” After a few more affirmations, he and your mother walk away. Brown orbs find your own. 

“Have fun?” He tries to ease his deep voice, to appear more outgoing, to not scare you away. And yet, you nod, looking down. 

“He’s right. You totally deserve it.” And for what seems like the first time, you bless him with your warm stare. “Felicidades, Carlos.” Pink paints his cheeks. You speak Spanish? Your eyes grow wide as you feverishly shake your head. “I-I- I don’t, but I’ve picked up on a few things here and there…”

“From me.” He tilts his head. “You actually pay attention to me.” 

You can’t help stutter like a broken record. “Of course-e, I ha-ave ears.” You show them off like a weak justification. “See?” you squeak. Playing with the hem of your dress - that had him swallowing a string of moans the moment you walked into the garage that morning - you slowly started backing away. “I should go now…” You point towards the sliding doors. “See you later?”

But he knew there would be no later. Fuck, this was the most you’ve spoken to him since, well, ever. He wouldn’t let that slip away so easily. Even if his heart got bruised along the way. 

“Did I do something for you to hate me?” 

Your brows narrow like a little kid. “You think I hate you?” 

“It’s okay if you do, I suppose, but I’m just lost as to where that happened? Did I-”

“I don’t hate you,” you softly speak up, eyes shut in disbelief that you’ve made him feel that way. You blink back at him. “I promise you, you’ve done nothing wrong.” Okay, he confirms.

“Why can’t you talk to me then like you do with everybody else? Why can’t you even spare me a passing glance?”

His voice sounds desperate now, he knows it, but he was desperate. Now you were embarrassed that he continues to bring up more and more of your poor behavior - but it was never intentional. You twirl a strand of your hair before releasing it.

“You intimidate me.” 

The Spaniard squeezed his fist around the trophy. For a moment, he thought he would dent the steel. Your stomach drops at the sight and he feels guilty for proving you right. He lets out a shaky breath. 

“I’m not a bad guy, y’know? I’m sure it may seem like it, but…” He licks his lips. “I’m not.”

Doe eyes flutter like butterfly wings. “I believe you, Carlos.”

“Good. Now, would you please tell me why you always escape when I’m around?” You softly curse as you pinch your hand for a second. 

“I wasn’t lying; you do intimidate me. But not in the way you might think.” Like an angel, you make your way closer. “You’re my favorite driver, you know that?” The Spaniard’s brown eyes grow wide. You laugh. “Ever since you-”

“Joined Formula 1.”

Your jaw drops. “My father ratted me out?” Panicking, you pace the room back and forth. You could only look at him for a couple of seconds before planting your stare at anywhere else that isn’t him. “I told him not to say anything! Oh God.” You let out a maniatic chuckle. “I swear it’s just a tiny crush, it’s not even that deep - I’ll get over it!”

Now it’s his turn to geek out. “You have a crush on me?” Crap, you groan, biting down on your nail. He didn’t mention that part, did he? Brown strands of hair shake back and forth as you sigh. 

“Forget I said anything, I am so sorry for making things awkward-”

“I’ve seen you before.” What? The 29 year old winces. “At the Canada GP. You were walking with a friend.” Synthia, you whisper to yourself. “I was being filmed for feedback on the race and you were about 5 steps in front of me.” You counted? “I said about - and for months, you were all I could think about. You sort of stuck to me like a nostalgic scent. I don’t know why I felt the need to talk to you, I mean, it’s never happened to me before. I looked away for a second and you were gone.” He shares a lopsided smile. “Then I saw you again.”

“And I blocked you out.” You bite your lip. “Shit, Carlos…I had no idea you felt this way.” He shrugs.

“It’s my fault. I never told you.” Still, you try to reason but he only brushes you off. “It’s not your fault.” 

“But it is,” you whimper. “I acted like a complete snob and belittled you.” Your heart breaks at the image. “And you’re telling me it’s been mutual all along?” 

“Looks like it. This is good though.” How? The brunette winks as he pulls you in. “Because now we do know and I can take you out sometime?” You quirk a brow.

“It works just like that?” 

He hums, comfortable with the two trophies pressed up against him. “Only if you want it to be like that.” You can practically hear your crazy heartbeat with the way he’s looking down at you - as if he’s just discovered a previously nonexisting star. With soft hands pressed onto his suit, your eyes twinkle.

“Just like that, then.”

[toffiendfee]

Initial D Secret Santa 2023!

This year, I had the honor to write some Keikumi spending quality time together for @majozzz.

Not that I ever need an excuse to write Keikumi, but I sure was excited to have one! I hope you'll enjoy your gift, and Happy Holidays!

@initialdsecretsanta

Read on AO3 here

“Do you have anything planned for Christmas?”

Keisuke’s question, evidently, came unexpected. Takumi turned to him, startled out of whatever thought he’d been occupied with instead.

He shrugged. “Not really. For all I know, my old man’s just gonna go out drinking like every year. We don’t really celebrate.”

Keisuke thought of his own home, almost always dark and deserted on Christmas. His parents didn’t care very much about the holiday when there was a hospital to run, and neither did Ryousuke, who tended to be just as busy.

To be fair, Keisuke wasn’t all that interested, either – he’d never had anyone he even wanted to spend Christmas with, aside from, more recently, his brother. But, once again, Ryousuke wasn’t keen on leaving his desk for anything more than quickly sharing a take-out meal, and that was if Keisuke got lucky.

Add to that the fact that most of his friends did tend to have plans for Christmas (dates, usually), and you got Keisuke spending the day by himself most years.

Seemed like he and Takumi had that in common.

Keisuke glanced over at him, trying to gauge his response.

He steeled himself.

“Do you want to do something together this year?”

Takumi startled again, and blinked up at him.

“Huh?”

Keisuke laughed breezily. “You know, just so we don’t both sit around on Christmas with nothing to do. But we don’t have to if you don’t feel like it,” he added quickly.

Who knew; maybe Takumi actually preferred having some time to himself to… Well, actually Keisuke had next to no idea what Takumi did in his free time that wasn’t racing.

Takumi regarded him for a moment, before saying, “Actually… I would like that, yeah.”

He quickly looked away, but Keisuke caught a glimpse of the small, bashful smile he tried to hide.

“Then let’s meet on Christmas Eve,” Keisuke suggested while the fluttering feeling in his stomach still prevailed, and while his courage was still high. “I’ve always wanted to check out the Christmas market in Takasaki.”

“Sure. I get off work at five.”

“Then I’ll pick you up at six?”

“Sounds good to me,” Takumi replied, and, after a beat, added, “I’ve never actually been to a Christmas market.”

“Neither have I,” Keisuke confessed. “We can check out together what the fuss is about.”

He felt his ears grow a bit hot at the thought – what he’d suggested was all but explicitly a date, and Takumi had said yes.

“I would like that,” Takumi repeated, and didn’t hide his smile this time around.

Ryousuke must have noticed the marked lack of his little brother’s usual questions about eating dinner together this year, but he didn’t comment on it regardless. Maybe he (rightfully) assumed Keisuke had made plans with someone else. Maybe he didn’t really care and was just glad that he could work in peace – Keisuke had picked up on the fact that he had some kind of important deadline coming up.

Either way, when Keisuke went to notify him that he was leaving, Ryousuke barely even looked up from his keyboard.

“Have fun,” he said. The corners of his mouth twitched a little, and not for the first time Keisuke wondered how much his brother knew.

He wasn’t going to be dwelling on that, though.

And certainly not letting it dampen his mood, either.

A few snowflakes descended from the darkened sky as he headed out, not enough to coat the ground – not yet.

Keisuke found the way to Takumi’s home from memory with no issue even though he’d been there only once before, on Ryousuke’s behest.

The tofu shop on the ground floor of the building lay in darkness – which made sense given what Takumi had told him. His father was out of the house, and apparently the son wasn’t expected to keep the shop open in his stead today.

But while the shop was dark, light spilled from a window on the floor above it.

Keisuke considered heading inside instead of waiting in the car just as the light flickered off. Moments later, Takumi emerged from the building, bundled into thick winter clothes.

“I heard you approaching,” he said as he opened the passenger side door and slid into the seat. “Hi.”

Keisuke smiled involuntarily at that afterthought of a greeting. “Hello to you, too. Are you expecting a blizzard?”

Takumi buckled himself in, glancing up at Keisuke only to give him a rather unimpressed look. “Have you seen the weather report?”

“No. Any blizzards on the horizon?”

Takumi huffed in response, and Keisuke grinned as he started the car.

The market was absolutely packed. Keisuke had expected as much, though – despite it being a rather small event compared to other cities’ Christmas markets, it was quite popular. With couples, especially.

Next to him, Takumi had stopped walking. Head tilted backwards, he was marvelling at the bright decorations that had been hung above the street.

Keisuke’s eyes lingered on his profile for a moment; when he noticed what he was doing, he quickly looked away.

Someone bumped into them, and Keisuke quickly reached for Takumi’s sleeve so he wouldn’t get pushed away by the crowds. He then glared at the offender, who was too distracted laughing at something his female companion said to notice Keisuke’s ire.

Takumi, however, had been torn from his admiration of the lights.

“That stand over there looks interesting,” he said. Keisuke stopped glowering and let himself be led through the crowd to one of the market stalls.

He wondered if he could risk slipping his hand into Takumi’s, but decided against it as they stopped in front of a display of wooden figurines.

“This one is fun,” he said, pointing at a small angel holding a pizza in one hand and a very delicate-looking pizza shovel in the other.

Takumi hummed his agreement and started inspecting some wooden tree ornaments, only to grimace once he looked at the price tag.

“Do you put up a tree at home?”

Takumi nodded. “You?”

“My mother insists on it, even though she doesn’t even enjoy Christmas that much. It’s definitely not as pretty as that one.”

Keisuke pointed at the huge fir that had been put up in the middle of the square, covered over and over in lights, baubles, and decorative wrapped presents. The tree in their living room was plastic and decked out in cold silver ornaments that Keisuke didn’t really like, but he also wasn’t willing to start a discussion with his mother over something so meaningless. Nobody cared about that damn tree, anyway.

“That one’s really pretty,” Takumi agreed; oddly enough, for a moment he looked like he wanted to add something else as he looked at Keisuke instead of the tree. Instead, he quickly returned to looking around at what the other stands had to offer.

Keisuke couldn’t tell whether the pinkness in Takumi’s cheeks had to be blamed on the cold or not.

Snow was still coming down from above, thick, white flakes illuminated from below by the myriad of lights.

As the cold crept into Keisuke’s extremities, he mulled over trying the spiced hot wine he saw offered at quite a few booths – but while it did smell quite nice (and spread that scent across the entire market, mingling with the aromas of caramelised sugar and fir needles and fried food), he’d never particularly liked the taste of wine.

Instead, he and Takumi both settled for a mug of hot chocolate each, topped with a generous portion of whipped cream dusted with cocoa powder. Takumi blew on his drink to cool it down a little, an action that had half of the cocoa powder flying off and spreading itself across mostly the ground, but also a bit of Keisuke’s coat.

“Oi,” he muttered and dusted himself off while Takumi apologised, laughing. If Keisuke had been a little bit annoyed, that feeling vanished immediately.

He couldn’t remember seeing Takumi in such a good mood before, laughing freely and teasing him back.

Maybe that was the so-called magic of Christmas.

They shared a portion of glazed almonds, fresh out of the kettle and still warm. Takumi sighed happily as he sneaked another handful.

“I didn’t think it would be this fun.”

‘Everything is fun when it’s with you,’ Keisuke almost said, but caught himself just in time. His ears were burning. That was close.

“I’m glad I don’t have to feel like I dragged you here,” he said instead.

Takumi shot him a look. “You don’t. I really looked forward to this,” he said. Then, a bit more quietly, “I don’t want it to be over, honestly.”

It was getting late, so this wasn’t entirely unfounded.

But Keisuke only found himself smiling, butterflies in his stomach that even the cold would be hopeless to smother.

“We don’t have to leave already. I didn’t even have anything for dinner yet.”

Takumi smiled back.

“Sure, let’s look around some more.”

Keisuke was so happy that he failed to notice the greedy hand stealing the last of the glazed almonds before it was too late.

It had gotten quite late by the point that the two of them returned to Shibukawa.

Keisuke stopped his car back in front of the tofu shop, house and street now blanketed in white. And it was still snowing. When Takumi opened the passenger side door, a cold gust carried a few flakes inside that quickly melted on the dashboard.

“Bye, then,” Keisuke said, trying to not let the good mood this evening had brought him be dampened by the fact that it was already over. “I had a great time.”

Takumi got out of the car – only to, instead of closing the door, linger a bit hesitantly.

“Would you- would you like to come in for a bit?”

Keisuke blinked at him, needing a moment to parse the offer.

He thought about the empty dark house he was going to return to, all its other inhabitants busy with work if they were even present at all.

“Sure,” he said at length.

They entered the living space of the house through the shop.

Keisuke took it all in, this being the place where Takumi lived, and him never having been inside the house, but tried not to be too obvious about it.

He shrugged off his shoes and nudged them out of the way with his foot, distracted by the Fujiwara’s living room. It was small. Homely. No ugly silver Christmas tree anywhere in sight, although there was a small and a bit wonky-looking potted fir placed on top of a chest of drawers, decorated with a few red ornaments and a shiny golden star on top.

Keisuke thought it was beautiful.

Takumi raised a hand to the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry it’s a bit untidy.”

Keisuke stopped looking around, hearing the embarrassment in Takumi’s voice.

“Untidy? This is nothing. You should see my room.”

A tentative smile spread across Takumi’s face. “That bad?”

“Aniki constantly gets on my ass about it.”

The smile widened into something genuinely amused. “I imagined Ryousuke-san would be the kind of person bothered by that.”

Keisuke grinned. “You’re spot on. He’s a total neat freak.”

To be honest, the Fujiwara home really wasn’t all that untidy, especially not in comparison to Keisuke’s room. But Keisuke hadn’t been paying much attention to that in the first place; instead, his attention had been drawn to the kotatsu in the middle of the room. He shot it a longing look, rubbing his still stiff and cold fingers. Takumi got the hint immediately.

“Sit down, I’ll bring us something to drink.”

He vanished through a door that probably led to the kitchen, while Keisuke gratefully sat on the floor and slid his legs (and his hands) into the wonderful warmth underneath the heavy quilt.

He absent-mindedly started fiddling with the edge of the small item he’d been carrying around in his pocket the entire time while he listened to the sounds of Takumi rummaging around in the kitchen. Certainly this was already the best Christmas experience he’d had in a few years, if not in his entire life. Spending time with Takumi was something he couldn’t get enough of – but outside of Project.D, that didn’t happen too often.

Takumi returned carrying two cups and a plate with oranges, and sat down opposite from Keisuke.

“Thank you for inviting me today,” he said quietly and slid over one of the cups. “I really enjoyed it.”

“Me, too,” Keisuke said, and decided that it was now or never. He pulled the small paper bag out of his pocket.

“I’ve got a gift for you. Didn’t have any time to wrap it or anything, but here.”

Takumi took it from him, surprised.

“I don’t have anything for you,” he confessed sheepishly, turning the paper bag in his hands.

“I don’t care.”

Takumi let out a quiet sigh, and, hesitating, opened up the bag and glanced inside.

“Oh…”

He pulled out one of the wooden tree ornaments he’d been looking at at the Christmas market. It was shaped like a snowflake, and in its centre it showed the delicately-cut silhouettes of two people in winter clothes pulling a sled through the snow.

Takumi smiled, a faint blush painting his cheeks.

“Thank you. I love it.”

Keisuke preened. He’d used the opportunity while Takumi was distracted waiting in line for their hot chocolates to buy it for him. It had been a spur-of-the-moment decision, but it had paid off.

“I’ll put it on the tree,” Takumi said, still smiling, and got up again to do just that.

Keisuke, meanwhile, reached for one of the oranges and started peeling it. He appreciated the reassuring effect of keeping his hands occupied while he watched Takumi look for a spot to hang the wooden snowflake.

He wasn’t sure whether it was the pleasant calm and quiet, the comfortable warmth of the kotatsu, the evening having gone so well, or everything at once that fuelled Keisuke’s confidence, but when Takumi returned to the table, he patted the space next to him invitingly.

Takumi caught his eyes and didn’t hesitate for a moment before sliding under the kotatsu next to Keisuke. It was a little bit crowded with their legs, but not too much – and Keisuke didn’t mind the closeness at all.

Takumi stole an orange slice.

“You could have just asked,” Keisuke complained, protectively covering the fruit with his arms when Takumi’s hand returned for more.

“Could I please have one,” Takumi asked, polite as ever, but with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He opened his mouth, as if expecting to be fed like a baby bird.

Keisuke laughed and obliged.

They kept talking, and eating, and at some point Keisuke felt movement underneath the table and fingers bumping against his.

He turned his head and found Takumi looking back at him, sort of expectant, only somewhat nervous.

Keisuke wordlessly slid his hand into his and looked away again. Neither of them commented on it, but when their conversation eventually slowed down into tired, companionable silence and they both lied down, shuffling deeper into the warmth underneath the quilt, Keisuke’s arm moved to wrap around Takumi like it was the most natural thing in the world, and Takumi scooted closer into the empty space between them.

Keisuke closed his eyes and dreamt of the future.

[kimyoonmiauthor]

A mini rant about scholarship in the US and South Korea

'cause... it might make you learn something. USian scholarship usually has weaknesses in the following areas:

Don't check your sources.

Don't check your source's sources.

Take a quote and then don't check the surrounding quotes or take a quote from a different text that quoted a text, but don't check the original text.

Writing convoluted to sound smart when not necessary.

Retconning to believe white (usually straight, or make them straight) (usually abled, or make them abled) men over everyone else in the world. (which, BTW, is easier to do when you don't do 1 and 2).

Not requiring citations from white men.

Weaknesses of Korean scholarship

Jump conclusions--not even reasonable inferences.

Everyone believing a source before checking how the work was done

believing fictional sources without questioning them first. (This is a different flavor from the US)

believing fictional sources without looking for historical backing.

Not being able to sort logically sources that came from a much later date versus contemporary to that date.

It's an exalted source, so you believe it absolutely rather than investigate if it could be true or not.

It's a different kind of media literacy issues. It's irking in different ways, but mixes really badly in News reporting. So, say, there is a historical figure, but we don't know what their name is. Someone from a different country takes a stab and *guesses*, the Korean media thinks that's the "valid" name. Urrgghhh without asking, "What is the source of the name?" "What historical documents do you have to back this name?" They don't have it? Oh noes. Let's ignore that part. Then they make the jump conclusion, this must be the name. Then news articles pick it up, but because the US doesn't check their source's sources, they think it's 100% true. Then it becomes a copy error. Then the Korean news media doesn't doubt the US news media, and then double copy error. And I'm over here banging my head against the keyboard because the bad media literacy is feeding off of each other and I want to bash both sides.

Which is what happened to poor Heo Hwang Ok. Someone made a comic book and then it got transliterated wrong by the Korean media, then got copied to the Indian media, then became her "official name" in the Samguk Yusa, which it DOES NOT APPEAR. I have the copy of the Samguk Yusa.

Then the copy error became official on Wikipedia.

But this has also happened in other instances which has been noted by Korean native scholars and I've noticed too. There is an absurd theory that chili peppers are native to Korea, for example, because birds carry seeds, and they could have pooped them in Northern Korea/ China, therefore the current chili pepper in Korea (Kochu) comes from Korea.

But is there academic evidence with DNA? Nope. This is all inference and conjecture based on air. And I'm not saying the US is much better... for example, there was a study about mice where they seemed to have behaviors of autism, accordingly, but no one could read the article well. Because they didn't have media literacy, they were making jump assumptions such as, "Vaccines cause autism." What? It's about mice, dude. And Autism is caused by bacteria. But that's not what the study actually said. No one actually looked at the study or lines of evidence. So I spent time breaking it down bit by bit.

The whole anti-homosexuality scare a few months back--I also broke it down and found flaws in the study.

Basically what I'm saying is that a little media literacy and making sure you aren't doing these mistakes would help everyone a lot. I get it, though, reading the source all the way through it hard. But make sure it says what you think it actually says. And remember, fiction IS NOT HISTORY. WTF. Why do people think a comic book is actual history?

BTW, if you stop trying to dress up your words to sound smarter, maybe you'd actually make sense. Also stop ranting about unrelated things, Freytag and Foucault. If your academic buddies think that because you write in plain goddamned English, you should be kicked out of the academic club for writing for plebeians, then kick them back and call them unrelenting snobs. Also, I'm pro more media literacy.

[boldlyvoid]

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea | Chapter 5-9

1Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Word Count: 14.3K

1-4, 5-9, Epilogue

Chapter 5

Spencer agreed to a Thursday night game night in her office sometime last week, and she’s spent every day since then planning it out for him.

Learning that he really loved Tandoori chicken, making it from scratch at home and packaging it into a couple containers to bring into work. She followed a recipe from Pinterest, hoping it bared any resemblance to what he was used to, only changing full chicken to boneless bite size cutlets, because he couldn’t use a knife in the prison.

She got a chess set at the store, as well as a deck of playing cards for the Vegas boy. Rushing out her door early Thursday morning so she could stop and get a coffee and one of his favourite doughnuts too.

Deciding that she wasn’t going to tell him how she felt any time soon, just wanting to show him friendship and support until he was finally out of prison. Vowing to uphold her oath, he was a patient in her care, she would care for him as such until he wasn’t.

She carefully placed her lunchbox and the chess set on the security desk, letting them look through it as she waited. Taking out all the food from her bag, looking through the plastic to ensure she wasn’t sneaking in anything.

“It’s just my lunch for the next 2 days, I promise,” she smiled.

“I know, but I have to look anyway,” the nice man smiled. “Have a good day today Dr. Pat.”

“Thank’s, you too, officer Kyle,” she smiled, picking her things back up and heading past the gates.

Spencer was turning the corner towards the infirmary as she walked towards the door. Officer Wilkins holding him in handcuffs as he roughly walked Spencer to her office.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she stopped, looking at Wilkins like he was an idiot. “Un-cuff inmate Reid, he’s not a threat. Plus, he can hold some things for me.”

“Whatever,” he huffed, roughly taking the cuffs off Spencer's wrists before leaving. Not saying another word.

“What a dick,” she mumbled as she handed him the lunchbox.

“Good morning Spencer,” she changed her tone to match her growing smile.

He sighed, smiling back as he rubbed his wrists. “Good morning to you too, Y/N.”

She opened the infirmary door, walking past all the sleeping men in the care area. Unlocking her office before inviting Spencer in. “Sorry I was almost late,” she said softly, taking the chess set and a brown paper bag out of her purse.

She set it on Spencer's desk along with the coffee that was in her hand, “for all your help this week,” she smiled.

Spencer placed her lunchbox in her fridge, laying a hand on her back as he walked past her towards his desk. “You’re too kind to me,” he was bashful as always.

“I have something I wanted to talk to you about,” she closed the door softly, making sure the blinds on the doors window were closed as well.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he tried to joke as he sat down.

“I asked to help with your case, maybe give a fresh opinion, so Penelope sent me all the files but I haven’t opened them yet,” she sat on the edge of her desk. Trying to read his body language as he took out his donut.

He liked the pink frosting off his finger, nodding as he followed along. “Why not?”

“I wanted your permission,” she pressed her lips together in an awkward smiled. His eyes raising to meet hers, innocent as ever.

“Oh?”

“You’re very reserved, you have rules about what you share, I don’t want to break the trust we’ve built by looking into something so intimate,” she explained her thoughts. “It’s not fair for me to learn about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, without you being the one to tell me.”

“What do you know already?” He asked softly, blinking at her as he patiently waited.

She smiled at him softly, grateful that he understood. “I know the 3 charges that you’re in on, and that you’re being framed.”

“I think I would prefer it if you read the file and just asked me questions. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to recite it all back to you today,” he was honest. Taking a sip of his coffee and looking away from her.

Giving up so much of himself to her so early in the day, she felt like he was finally comfortable with her.

She found the key to his thoughts and it opened just right, she could see the hurt that flowed through him, but she could also see the happiness. The side of him that he was afraid to bring out, in fear it would get him in more trouble.

“Okay,” she agreed. Sitting at her desk and finally opening the email form Penelope.

She read through his tox-screens, his drug history, his mental state. His first-hand accounts, witness statements, clues and findings his team had made. It all felt like the plot to a bad movie about revenge, possibly even female rage. But for what?

“I finished reading,” she said softly, brows furrowed as she chews the inside of her cheek. “Do you know anyone other than this Mr. Scratch guy who you’ve put away, wronged, lead on, or just pissed off?”

“Why?” He asked, clearly attached to the idea this was all Mr. Scratch’s doing.

“It feels like revenge, but very well planed. Like a women is mad at you so she found your weakness, I’ve done mean shit to exes in the past but this is insane. They knew you’d do anything for your mom, they knew your drug history, and the fact you might get schizophrenia one day, they wanted to drug you and make you think you did all this.”

Spencer stood then, listening to her words as he scrunched his face. Thinking as hard as he could, “can you call Penelope?”

“Yeah,” she nodded as she dialled her number, putting her on speaker phone.

“Well hello there, Love Doctor,” Penelope teased as she answered.

“Um hi, Spencer wanted to talk to you,” she panicked.

“Oh, sorry, how are you Spencer?”

Spencer looked so confused, “I’m good… Y/N and I were looking at the case files you sent-”

“Good, did you find anything?” Penelope cut in, eager to talk to him.

“Have you looked into everyone I’ve ever encountered on a case? Specifically women?” Spencer asked. “I told my lawyer and Emily that I remember a woman being there and helping, she must know me from a case too, like the other prison escapees he’s helped?”

“On it pretty boy, any specifics about her that you remember?” Penelope asked over the sound of her keyboard clicking away.

“Long brown hair, but it’s probably different now,” he added. “Everything else is dark, I didn’t see her face or any other features.”

“Alright, call me anytime Spence, I miss you,” Penelope said softly, changing her tone to a more sensitive one. “Take care of each other, my loves.”

“Love you,” they say at the same time. Looking at each other awkwardly after she hung up, leaving them to sit with their words alone.

Spencer was leaning so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating off him. Spencer placed his hand on her shoulder as he stood straight, towering over her as she looked up at him.

“I have patients to talk to, but I brought chess for you to teach me later,” she smiled up at him.

“Can’t wait,” he beamed a smile back.

She felt his hand rub the back of her blue scrubs lightly, pulling away as he walked back around to his desk. She watched him with careful eyes, wishing he would have stayed longer.

—

Normally at 4:30, Y/N would bring Spencer a tray of whatever the kitchen was serving her patients for dinner that night. Tonight, however, she walked into her office at 5 pm on the dot, closing the clinic for the night and putting all her attention on Spencer.

“So,” she smiled as she leaned against her office door, excitement radiating out of her. “A little birdie told me that you really like Indian food, Tandoori chicken to be exact…”

“No way?” He gasped as he turned around in his chair.

She nodded with a cheeky grin, “homemade so I could sneak it in.”

She took her lunch box out of her mini-fridge, opening it up to show him the 2 Tupperware containers. One for him, the other for her. She took the lids off and dished it onto 2 plates she keeps in the cabinet above the fridge.

Spencer grew more and more excited as she warmed it up, filling the room with a familiar smell. He was so happy, “I don’t know how to thank you for everything you do for me?”

“Come here,” she said softly, watching him walk towards her carefully.

She wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him in a hug. He carefully placed his hands on her back, holding her against his chest as he snuggled his cheek into her hair again.

“I’ll take hugs as payment from now on,” she pulled back from him as the microwaved beeped.

Taking a plastic spoon from the cutlery jar, she opened the microwave and handed him a plate. “Did you want to stay in here or go to the break room? I never use it cause I don’t have any co-workers, but it has a couch and a coffee table?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking the plate from her and waiting for her to warm up her own meal before taking a bite.

He was ever the gentleman.

Y/N reached back into her lunch box, taking out the package of naan bread, seeing Spencer’s eyes basically roll into the back of his head. “You thought of everything?”

“Bread is my life,” she laughed.

When her food was ready, she placed it on top of the chess box and led the way down to the break room. Spencer holding every door for her.

She flicked on the lights in the break room, watching them strobe before making that awful powering up frequency. She groaned, putting her food on the table before turning on a few lamps instead.

The room went from bright and anxious to relaxed and personal, the amber glow bouncing off the cream walls, it was nice. As nice as it could be in a prison. She never thought she’d be having a date at a prison.

That’s basically what this was, a date.

She made him dinner, they were going to play games, he was going to sit right beside her, close enough to kiss. She really wanted to, she’s thought about it a lot, his pink lips were perfect and she just wanted to see how they’d feel between her own.

But she wont.

“Dig in honey,” the name rolled over her tongue like it was always meant to.

She felt his eyes on her right away, realizing that she called him honey in a situation where he wasn’t crying, where he wasn’t vulnerable. She said it as a term of endearment, she couldn’t stop the embarrassment form settling in her veins.

She sat beside his softly, picking up her dinner and pretending it didn’t happen. “Thank you,” Spencer cut into the awkwardness.

“You’re welcome,” she said softly. Feeling like she could flip inside out at any moment.

From the corner of her eye she saw him take the first bite, closing his eyes as he appreciated the moment. His shoulders settled as he chewed, she could swear he almost moaned as he ate it. She has had the food in the cafeteria before, she understood his reaction.

“That good?” She asked, teasing him softly.

He nodded, silent as he took it all in. He took another bite, and another, she felt like he was going to get the hiccups at this rate but it was too cute to stop. He was like a stray dog eating inside for the first time in months, it made her happy and then a little sad.

He stayed quiet the whole time. Crossing his legs as he sat on the couch, the plate pulled in close to his chest as he shovelled spoonfuls of food into his mouth. She sat there admiring him as he did so, falling more and more every time she glanced at him.

“That was delicious,” Spencer said as he stood, placing his plate on the counter across the room. “Are you done?” He asked, taking her plate as she reached it out to him.

“Yeah, thanks,” she watched him carefully, always wanting to help her in whatever way he could.

He didn’t sit on the couch when he came back, instead, sitting on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, taking the chess set out and beginning to set it up. Not wanting to miss a moment of the freedom he felt when he was with her.

“So, chess is pretty easy to learn,” he said, looking up at her through thick eyelashes as he spoke. “Do you know any of the rules yet?”

“Um, I know where they all go, I know that you can’t go through other pieces and the horse gets to jump?” She tried to remember all the way back to grade 4, the last time someone explained the rules to her.

He was so soft with her, explaining the rules and showing her what to do. His hand would lightly brush over hers occasionally, eventually, he’d just guide her hand over the pieces that she should move. It was so nice to just be alone with him, knowing they were both allowed to be happy.

The room was mostly silent, only the sound of Spencer's advice and her giggle as she still wasn’t grasping the concept of the game.

“I just like, don’t care about the rules?” She couldn’t stop giggling at the fact she wasn’t picking up on anything he said.

Spencer laughed, it was deep and hearty, right from his soul, “then how do you want to play?”

She picked up the queen and moved it to a random spot, “I want to put this here and fight your guy. That’s why I don't get this, what is my XP? What are their skills? I was raised on Pokemon, honey.”

He made his way back to the couch, sitting closely beside her. “Well sugar pie, do you have any other games you want to play?”

She couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and pressing her lips against his. His hands wrapped around her waist on instinct as they connected.

It was everything she imagined. Soft, gentle, refreshing. Like a cold glass of ice tea on a hot summers day. She wanted more, never letting up as she kissed him.

Spencer was the one to pull off first, “shit,” she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand as she stared at him, horrified.

He laughed, smiling at her softly. “It’s okay,” he promised, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

She doesn’t stop him from pulling her back in, holding her hand on his cheek as he kissed her again. Hungrier than before, Spencer’s tongue was on a mission. He tastes like dinner, but with his own Spencer difference.

Kissing him felt like a fairytale coming true.

She forgot where they were, his hands on the back of her scrubs and her hands in his hair as their mouths clashed. She started to lay back on the couch, pulling him down on top of her.

“We can't,” he pants against her lips. Regretting it as he pulls away from her.

“Sorry, this was unprofessional I know,” she tried to play it off.

Spencer pulled her back in, flush against his chest once more. “No, I don’t regret it. It’s just, I’m not ready.”

“Oh,” she says softly. Then it clicks, “oh, oh my god, Spencer I’m so sorry I forgot. I didn’t mean to push you into anything,” she worries, running her hands over his arms softly.

He shakes his head, “you didn’t. I want to, believe me, I just don’t think I can handle the after part…”

“I cried for 3 hours after I had sex again, after everything,” she told him in complete honesty. Not even Savannah or Derek knew that.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” she assured him. “You shouldn’t have to be the only vulnerable one here, I want you to know about me.”

“You don’t have to tell me the details, I don’t want to think about someone hurting you,” he whispered, his eyes innocently studying her face for how she was feeling.

“Okay, so here’s everything else,” she was still holding his face in her hands. Rubbing her thumb over his cheeks. “I had 2 moms and a little sister, and I was raised in Boston. I met Savannah in 2004, I worked with her until a few years ago. She’s my best friend, Derek is like my big brother.”

She gave him the basics, “I don’t have a dad, my mom used the same donor for me and my sister, so I’ve never really felt safe around men because I never knew many.”

“Understandable,” he smiled softly. “what’s your mom like?”

“She died when I was 26,” she pressed her lips together awkwardly. “I haven’t talked to her wife since then, my other mom, she remarried not long after. I think she was cheating on my mom when she was going through chemo.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“I can relate to a lot of the stories I know about you already. My mom was my world, I don’t know my dad. I’ve been hurt by people, I’ve lost a lot of myself while trying to help others,” she brushed her nose against his softly. Letting him know she wasn’t pulling back any time soon. “Who you are is not what you did, or what you’ve been through.”

He kisses her again softly. Breathing in through his nose lightly, his hand on her back pulling her in closer and closer. He didn’t want to let her go, and she was more than happy staying in his embrace forever.

He pulled back softly, “I lied to you.” He whispered against her lips.

“When?” She asked, scared to know the answer.

“I do remember you from Derek’s wedding, he told me about you a long time ago. I told him I was ready for dating again when you told him about Mark,” he couldn’t look at her.

“That’s not a huge lie,” she smiled softly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking at you all night, with that little blond boy. You two were so sweet, Mark got really mad at me for staring at you actually.”

“Derek told me when he hurt you, he came to my apartment right after so he wouldn’t go and kill him,” Spencer’s voice was so low she had to stare at his lips to understand him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she shook her head softly, kissing the tip of his nose. “Thank you.”

“I don’t want to go back to my cell,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

Breaking her heart in the process.

She kissed his cheeks and his lips a few times, peppering kisses to his soft face to make up for it. “We can’t do this again until you’re free,” she whispered.

“I understand.”

“So you better think long and hard about this woman you remember so I can track her down and shove her in that cell instead,” Y/N’s stern voice made him smile.

“Thank you,” he replied again, hugging her the way he promised he would thank her from now on.

—

For being 9 pm on a spring night, it was rather warm in the Vermont parking lot. She left the prison a while ago, not able to leave Spencer’s gravitational pull yet as she sat there, staring at the prison thinking about him alone in his cell instead of pressed against her chest for the rest of the night.

Thinking about the feeling of Spencer’s hands on her body and his tender lips. Her hand over her mouth as she remembered how his bottom lip ghosted over her own, the anticipation was enough to light her on fire.

She took out her phone and called Derek, knowing he would put her on speaker if they were already in bed for the night. Really needing her best friends right now.

“Hey kick-ass, how are you doing today?” Derek’s voice was overly cheery, “Hey!” Savannah added in the background.

“I’m in love with him.”

Chapter 6

She barely slept anymore. Waking up at 6 am every morning without her alarm clock, her heart physically aching to return to Spencer's side after a night without him. She felt like a love-sick school girl, wanting to be with him all day even if they had nothing to say. Just looking at him was enough to make her happy.

A few weeks passed. Weeks filled with smiles and laughter, singing and reading, inside jokes and shared jello cups. She was so madly in love with him, hugging him every morning when he arrived and every night before he left. Keeping her word, kissing him on the cheek every so often instead.

She started a routine of picking up a coffee and a donut for Spencer every single Thursday, worried that he probably thought about his case all night, yet again. Which only kept her up worrying all night about him, wondering if he was doing okay all alone.

Only getting sleep when she remembered that he had a photo of her, his mom, Derek and hank with him. He’d be okay.

She walked into the infirmary to find Jerry and Mike waiting for her with a guard. Mike bleeding all down his face while Jerry held his clearly broken hand.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” she sighed. Putting all her things in her office before coming back to care for them.

She excused the guard, telling him she had it from here. They wouldn’t put up any more fights with her, they looked up to her like a momma bear, and they were her terrible cubs.

“It is 7:33 am, who the fuck did you have to fight this early?” She whisper yelled at them. Not wanting to wake Leo in the care ward, “who is worth this?”

“You don’t want to know,” Mike said under his breath.

“Well clearly he’s not here, is he dead or in violent crimes? If you two fucked up our plan of me helping you during parole next year, I’m going to be pissed,” she tried her best to entice the answers out of them.

“It was Shaw,” Jerry said softly. “He was planning to hurt the new guy, he’s all fake buddy-buddy with him.”

“Excuse me?” She panicked.

“He’s been talking to Milos at night in the locker room, Wilkins lets him out of his cell and into gen-pop,” Mike carried on the story as she tried to clean the blood off his eyebrow.

“What are they going to do to Spence?”

“Spence?” Jerry teased her, poking her side. “I didn’t know he had a nickname already. Why haven’t we met him yet?”

“I’ve kept him locked away to be safe, I’m going to find a way to keep him here at night,” She said softly. “He’s best friends with my brother, I can’t let him get hurt.”

“So you knew him in freedom land?”

She nodded, “a little.”

“All you need is a bandaid,” she changed the subject as she reached into her kit. “And Jerry I’m going to have to set your fingers back in place, if you scream in my face, I will kick you in the nuts.”

They laughed at her fake tuff guy act, never actually being able to hurt them. They were her buddies, giving her a big hug after she finished with them. Getting them both a pudding and telling them to stay put for the day if they wanted to.

Spencer found her in the lab when he arrived, she knew it was him when the door opened, no one else had a passkey to get in. She was writing down some numbers on a chart when he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She dropped her pen and turned around in his grasp, holding his face in her hands immediately as she pulled him into a quick kiss.

“I thought you said I couldn’t do that again till I’m free?” He asked softly. Kissing her a second time as he finished.

She smiled against his lips, “you’re free when we’re alone.”

He kissed her harder. His hands around her waist as he picked her up slightly. Twirling her around as they kissed, she laughed against his skin. Unable to stop herself from smiling as she held onto him.

She kissed him one last time as he put her down on the floor, “I have a coffee and donut for you in my office.”

“You’re too good to me, Sugar Pie.”

“Anything for you, Honey Bunch,” she bit her lip as she smiled at him again. So absolutely overwhelmed with love for him.

“I actually have a serious question to ask you,” his tone changed, making her concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m still trying to figure out more about that night, and I think I want to try exposure therapy,” he explained. “I was wondering if you’d help me get high, so I can remember what happened in the same mindset.”

“Okay,” she nodded softly. “I can book you in for the night here, say you’re under observation, and I’ll stay here with you.”

“Are you sure?”

She kissed him softly again, looking up at him with a smile after. “If you’re sure about it, I’ll help you. But we need some ground rules.”

“Of course,” he agreed. Letting go of her as she stepped back, leaning against the counter now.

“No kissing, nothing like that, we’ll do it in my office so you can be alone and then later you’ll sleep in the observation room. Leo is in there, he’s harmless and sleeps all night on his morphine anyway,” she explained. “I’m not going to take advantage of you, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s going to be hard to sober up again once you get a taste of euphoria in here.”

He nodded along as she set the rules, “those are good. Thank you.”

“They drugged you with heroin, and while I know where to get some, I’m not letting you do that,” she laughed. “I have Dilaudid in pills and liquid morphine.” Letting him pick his poison.

“The pills will be fine,” he said softly.

“Alright,” she smiled. “And if you want, when you get out I can take you to a meeting? You’ll need to talk to someone other than me, someone who gets it.”

“You’ll stay with me after all this?”

“As long as you let me,” she felt her heart grow 3 sizes at the way his puppy dog eyes stared back at her. “Go have your breakfast and I will come to see you soon, okay honey?”

His smile was glorious, she could feel the love radiating off him as he looked at her. It felt wonderful, knowing at that moment her feelings weren’t one-sided. That he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He was going to be good to her.

—

She had mike and Jerry help her move the couch from the break room and into her office, allowing them to meet Spencer, finally. It was awkward at first, two big muscle men telling him how much they also loved their Sugar.

“Should we tell him?” Mike nudged Jerry.

“What?” Spencer asked softly, sitting at his desk on the other side of the room, really not enjoying their alpha energy.

“Shaw, Milos and Wilkins are all secretly buddies, they were planning to hurt you and so Mike and Jerry beat Shaw up in the yard,” she scrunched her face as she explained it, not ready for his reaction.

“How?”

“After they cut that kid's throat, they wanted to get you to run heroin for them. But you ended up in here, we heard them in gen-pop last night saying they wanted to get you,” Jerry explained as he played with the bandages on his hand. “He won't be out of the violent offender's infirmary for a while.”

“Thank you,” he replied to them with a pressed-lipped smile. “I need to call my team about the case.”

That was their queue to leave, Y/N patting them on the back for the help, telling them they could stay with Leo or go back to the yard, she didn’t care. They just couldn’t be in her office for this.

Spencer looked a little pissed off. “I didn’t ask them to do that,” she said, defensively.

“I’m not mad at you,” he shakes his head softly as steps into her space. “You’re the only person I can trust in here.”

She placed her hand on his chest softly, “call Penelope. Take your time on the phone with the team.” She handed him her cell phone, “FaceTime them if you want. See their faces, it’ll be okay.”

He hugged her, a silent thank you. She ran her hands over his back as she pressed her face into his neck. Holding back every instinct to tell him she loved him as she pulled away.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking her phone, “how do I?”

She couldn’t help laughing, “here,” she dialled Penelope’s cellphone number and hit the FaceTime button.

Seeing her beautiful, bright and bubbly face smile as she answered. “Hey! Oh my god, hold on,” they watched as she got up and ran down a hallway.

Spencer was instant giggles and smiles, a side of him she’s never seen before. True, pure love. This was his family, these were his people. She could see herself fitting into his little world one day.

“Guys! It’s Spencer!” She yelled as she ran into another room.

“What’s wrong?” “Is he okay?”

Suddenly she turned the phone sideways to show all his co-workers. “Hi!” He waved to them.

“Spence!” Emily and JJ cheered, “oh you look so good.”

“I feel good, how are you all?” He asked softly, taking her phone and sitting down at his desk.

She watched him softly from the door, slipping out when she saw his attention was fully on his past life. She walked down the hall towards the lab, hearing his laughter through the walls.

—

She placed 2 pills in a plastic cup, taking an apple juice and jello from the fridge for Spencer. She placed it on his desk 20 minutes before his shift ended, giving him a little space to decide when he wanted to. He told her that he get’s cold when he comes down from a high, so she leaves a fluffy blanket and a pillow on the couch before slipping back out of the room.

She returned to the care unit, looking over Leo as he got ready for the night. Administering his meds and wishing him a good night. She closed his curtain, so when Spencer eventually went to bed he wouldn’t be disturbed.

When she finally settled into her office for the night, Spencer was in the dark. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. “Hey,” he said softly.

“How are you?” She asked softly. Closing the door behind herself. Locking it and making sure all the blinds were closed.

“It’s going to hit soon,” he said softly. Suddenly embarrassed and closed off, hiding from her as he laid down.

She didn’t want to bother him, sitting at her desk with her reports. The light from the computer is just enough to see what she was looking at. She glanced at him every few minutes to make sure he was okay.

He enjoys it at first, a blissed-out look on his face as his head is tossed back against the couch. She knows the exact euphoria he’s feeling, she understood perfectly why someone would want to escape like that.

Then his face changes as he starts to hate it, he mumbles to himself with his eyes squeezed shut, she could see him gripping the sheets as he tries to force himself to remember.

She’s uncomfortable watching it, feeling like an intruder. She tried to only focus on her work, flipping through emails and Twitter, scrolling through Facebook for the first time in months to preoccupy her mind.

He was like that for at least an hour.

She could hear his teeth chattering as he came down, just like he said would happen. “You okay, honey?”

“Y-yeah,” he tried to speak through the shaking. “C-can we cuddle?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, turning on her desk lamp before joining him on the couch.

She pulled him up into a sitting position, sitting where his head once was and letting him settle into her lap. She ran her hands through his hair, combing through the locks as she shushed him. Running her hand up and down his back in a tender motion, he snuggled into her leg.

“I’m not that high anymore,” he says softly.

“I know, it’s okay if you are. I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

“I love you,” he whispers.

It makes her stop. Her whole body stills at the words, he wanted to clarify so she’d know it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. She closes her eyes and squeezes them shut, biting her lip as she tries not to burst into tears.

He felt it too.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, “sit up.” She instructs him softly.

She laid down against the couch then, waiting for him to snuggle into her side. Wrapping the blanket around them both as they found the most comfortable position.

“Sorry,” he whispered against the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay, it just feels wrong for me to say it back right now. I feel the same, believe me, Spencer.” She wanted to assure him to the best of her ability. “But you’re still an inmate in my care, I can’t. Not yet.”

“You don’t have to,” he pulled back to look her in the eyes, his own still droopy from how tired the drugs made him. “I’m going to love you regardless.”

She broke her own rules. Kissing him softly, holding him close to her, under the blanket where both their body heat was trapped. She had never felt safer in her entire life.

Spencer only crawling into that bed in the care ward when he woke up to her alarm the following morning.

Chapter 7

There’s someone banging on her office door just a little after 8 am. She was in the middle of putting a new pair of scrubs on over her long-sleeve undershirt, the banging on her door doesn’t stop until she opens the door.

“What?” She yells at them.

It’s Officer Wilkins. “Where is inmate Reid? We have a visitor for him.”

“No one is scheduled to see him today?”

“There is now. Where is he?” The man towered over her. Trying his best to intimidate her.

“Care ward. I’ll get him. You can go wait in the waiting room,” she pushes past him. Watching him stumble as he hits the wall.

“He’s not worth dying over,” he whispers under his breath.

She doesn’t leave Reid’s side as Wilkins attempts to escort him to an interrogation room. Y/N stands in the observation room as Spencer waits, cuffed to the table. Looking through the mirror at each other, only he couldn’t see her. He just knew she would be there.

“Mom?” Spencer’s shocked voice breaks her out of her thoughts as she sees Diana walking into the room.

A dark-haired woman she’s never met before escorting her in. Y/N whips her phone out to take a quick photo before running back to her office as quickly as she can.

Y/N: I need you to check on Cassie, Diana’s nurse. Someone I don’t know just brought Diana to the prison.

She attached the photo she took, setting her phone down to looking through the visitor's logs on her computer. Wanting to know the name of the woman accompanying Diana.

“I’m sorry,” the familiar voice says from her doorway.

She looks up at him from her desk. Wilkins is stepping into her space with a look of guilt, taking his baton off his belt.

“You don’t have to do this,” she backed up against the wall, trying to keep as much distance from him as possible.

“I have to,” his tone changed. Like a personality switch, his eyes darkened as he charged at her.

She ran around the desk, watching him follow. Punching her in the face, causing her to fall back against the couch, she didn’t want him to get on top of her. Dropping to the carpeted floor as he dove onto the couch.

She crawled on the floor towards the door as he tried to get up. Standing as fast as she could, roundhouse kicking him in the face with a grunt. Her foot hit his jaw at just the right angle, rendering him unconscious.

She reached for his cuffs as soon as he hit the floor, “Leo!! Help!” She screamed down the hall.

She heard bare feet running down the hall, followed by the sound of rubber on linoleum. “Sugar??” Mike and Jerry yelled as they followed.

“Watch him,” she insisted once the cuffs were on him. “Hurt him if you have to.”

She took the second pair of cuffs off Wilkins's belt before running out of the room, her lip busted and bleeding down her neck.

She ran down the hall towards Spencer, busting into the room and knocking the nurse to the ground. Struggling to get her onto her stomach, “stop struggling, who the fuck are you?”

“Get off me!” She screamed in return.

Y/N cuffed her and pulled her to her feet, pushing her against the stone wall.

“What is going on?” Spencer stood up, cuffed to the table so he couldn’t help.

“Wilkins just attacked me, Diana wasn’t supposed to be here,” she said over her shoulder in Spencer’s direction. “So I’ll ask again,” she whispered in the woman's ear as she pushed her against the wall harder. “Who, the fuck! Are you?”

“He knows me,” she spat out.

Y/N ripped her off the wall, making her look at Spencer who was shocked, speechless as he tried to remember her face. “Who is she?”

“She told me Cassie was fired, she’s been with me all morning?” Diana tried to explain, slightly freaking out.

“I sent her photo to Penelope, I need a guard,” Y/N said, hauling the unknown women into the hall with her.

—

The prison was put on lockdown as they tried to figure out this security breach. Wilkins and the nurse being held in prison custody as they waited for the BAU team to fly in.

Figuring out that her name was Lindsay Vaughn, Spencer remembered as much as he could about her. How he tried to save her dad, losing him to his carnal need to kill. Lindsay following closely in her daddy's footsteps.

Diana sat at Spencer’s desk, Mike and Jerry stand watch at the door. Y/N was sitting on top of her desk in front of Spencer, it was his turn to run alcohol over her cuts. Holding her face in his hands as he cared for her.

“I'm sorry,” he mouths the words at her. Not wanting his mother to overhear them.

She nods in response, unable to smile as the cut on her lips stings. All things considered, she could have been in a lot worse condition if it wasn’t for Derek and her training.

She wants to kiss him, she can tell he’s looking over her shoulder at his mom. Waiting to make sure she’s not looking before he leans in a little closer.

Pressing their lips together as silently as possible, his eyes still on her’s as they did so. It’s the most tender kiss she’s ever had, “I’m okay Spence,” she said softly as he pulled back.

“I’m still sorry you were dragged into this,” holding her against his chest softly.

From where she was sitting on top of her desk, she placed her head on his chest, holding him as close as she could, his cheek resting on her head. She wrapped her legs around him, not wanting to let him go, ever.

Needing the comfort he brought her, now more than ever.

When Derek and she started training again it was mostly to help her feel safe. To know what to do if it happened again. She didn’t ever expect it to, thinking it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. That she’d learn from it and then she wouldn’t be in this situation again, being punched in the face by a man.

She started to cry, the throbbing pain in both her face and her foot taking over as the adrenaline dissipated, she was too overwhelmed to do anything more. He let her cry against him, rubbing his hand on her back as he kissed her forehead.

She couldn’t wait for him to get out of here, and she was going to leave with him.

—

Derek is the first to burst through the door. Wrapping Spencer up in the biggest hug she’s ever seen him give. Rocking Spencer back and forth in his grasp as he kissed Spencer's cheek a few times.

He pulled back, holding Spencer's face in his hands. Smiling so he didn’t cry, “they’re dropping the charges.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope,” Derek shakes his head adding, “You’re free.” Expecting Spencer to hug him again.

Instead, Spencer turns to Y/N and pulls her into a kiss. She’s startled at first, eyes wide open as Spencer’s hands find her waist and pulls her right up against him.

She can't help but settle against him. Holding his face in her hands as she kisses him back. He picks her up slightly, spinning her around with his face buried in her neck as she yelps.

Everyone in the room watching him celebrate with her in shocked silence.

He placed her back on the ground, kissing her one last time. “You did it, Spence,” she smiles at him.

“We did it.”

She hears someone clearing their throat. Both of them turning to see the Warden as well as the entire BAU team standing in her doorway. But they don’t pull apart, Spencer’s hand stays on her side as they wait to get yelled at.

“I quit,” Y/N said before he could say anything to her, “and I might sue.”

“I’m suing for sure,” Spencer added.

“We’re terribly sorry for the condition of your stay Doctor Reid. And Doctor Y/L/N, I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I’m incredibly sorry for what Wilkins did,” the warden tried to cover his ass from a bureau lawsuit.

“Too late for that,” Emily added. Stepping into the room more. “Doctor Reid will be leaving with us, now.”

“Understood,” the Warden hurried out of the room before any more damage could be done.

Everyone took a turn hugging Spencer then. A handful of them even hugging Y/N as well.

Emily wrapped Y/N up in a hug, rubbing her back the way she would all those years before. “Thank you, you have no idea what he means to us.”

“I think I do,” she laughed against her. “If that’s not weird?”

“Not at all,” she pulled back, looking at Y/N with her big beautiful eyes, her bangs pushed out of the way so she could take a good look again. “You two are good together.”

She smiled, “thanks Em.”

“We need to fill him in on everything, will you stay with Diana?” Emily asked.

“Of course, I’m just going to be packing up some things anyway,” she said as she turned to Spencer. “Have fun with your friends, honey.”

“Thanks, sugar,” he kissed her on the cheek before walking out. Everyone whistling and hollering at the boldness Dr. Reid had developed in prison.

They all filed out after him, she watched the door with a soft smile as they wandered down the hall, Spencer taking them to the break room so they could chat.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Diana’s small voice came from Spencer’s desk.

“Oh, Diana,” she smiled. “Can I give you a hug?”

Diana nodded as she walked over to her, wrapping her up in a hug, much like how Spencer would. She can imagine Spencer’s hugs once feeling like this, imagining him small and shy, holding her slightly. Unlike his more beefy, relaxed form since being in prison.

“He means the world to me too,” she says softly as Diana pulls away.

“You saved him, if he didn’t have you he might not still be my soft and sweet little Spencer,” Diana patted her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for making him,” she laughed slightly. “He’s a wonderful man, I have a feeling you played a big role in that.”

Her smile was just like his. The smile of a mother, someone who was going to love him forever, maybe she’d love her too. Y/N felt a little emotional, this could be her family one day.

Chapter 8

There was a lot of information to process as she sat at the BAU round table.

Learning the entire plot of some women’s revenge against Spencer, just how much Wilkins and Lindsay were involved, the crazy scheme they planned and how terribly it would have ended if she wasn’t there.

Spencer, on the other hand, was visiting this Cat person in prison. The one who orchestrated it all, the one who was obsessed with Spencer, the love of her life, to the point she might be having his baby. He had some things to settle with her.

He was on edge before he left, going with Derek and JJ while Y/N stayed back with Diana. David Rossi had even offered to let them all stay at his guest house later that night, seeing as Spencer’s apartment was a crime scene.

Lindsay murdered Cassie, leaving her dead body on Spencer’s apartment floor. Ruining the place he was so desperate to return to.

She was a little out of it. Trying to think of everything that happened and everything she would have to do in the next few days. Compiling a list in her mind as the anxiety bubbled in her gut.

She needed a new job and a new place to live. First, she’d have to go back to Vermont to pack, and she’d have to find a way to support her boys on Parole. And Mike and Jerry.

She put her hands over her face and rested against the table. Overwhelmed with everything, her face still hurting, the lights were too much, she was tired.

Then she was crying softly.

“Hey,” Emily rubbed her back softly. “Shhh, it’s okay, what’s wrong Y/N?”

She sat up and wiped her eyes with a small laugh, embarrassed that her kinda ex-girlfriend was comforting her. “I’m stressed?” She answered, not even really sure herself.

Emily smiled while she nodded, looking so different now than she did back when they first met. Older, but in a beautiful way, gracefully becoming who she was always meant to be. “I get it, believe me.”

She remembered Derek saying she ‘died’ once. How they buried her casket and how pissed they were when they found out she was actually alive. Y/N only knew Emily re-born, as they called her.

She was always caring, always wanted to comfort and make people happy. It was the way she coped with hurting them all, but it carried on past the team. It carried on to strangers, victims, sometimes even unsub’s.

And most definitely Y/N.

There was a part of Y/N that wonders what loving Emily would have been like; if it would have felt half as good as loving Spencer. Or would it be better? She’d never really know, but she could imagine it would have been nice.

“How can we help?” Emily asked, still as wonderful as ever.

“I need a new job,” she laughed. “Can Penelope use her mad skills to find a reputable business in need of a doctor around here?”

“Are you moving back to Virginia?” She smiled at the thought.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, a smile growing on her face. “I’m kind of attached to Spencer now.”

“Good, maybe Derek can help you find a place, he has like, what 7? Right now that he’s fixing up?” Emily threw out ideas. “You’ll get the ball rolling soon, it’ll all be fine.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For not giving up on him, I know you would never but, I was worried he had lost all hope and you never did. Thank you.”

Emily hugged her again, not saying anything. Y/N knew there was nothing to thank her for, this was a family. They would kill for each other if they needed to.

“Let’s go see Penelope,” Emily replied as she pulled away. Standing and extending a hand for Y/N.

The BAU offices were so interesting, many people running around to get jobs done before the end of the day as the main team chilled. It was like any other office she was in; controlled chaos and hierarchy.

Diana was sitting with Penelope in her office, flipping through a scrapbook while eating a jello cup. It made her smile to see it ran in the family.

“Hey,” Penelope cheered as she noticed them.

“I was just going to ask for some help with something, I see you’re busy,” Y/N awkwardly commented on the situation.

“Oh, we’re not,” Diana said. “I was showing her photos of Spencer. Would you like to see them?”

“I’d love to, um while I’m here, Penelope would you be willing to help me search for a good job?” She asked a lot mousier than Spencer would have if he was asking her for something.

“Of course, what are we looking for?” She wheeled to her main computer, cracking her knuckles as she got ready to look.

“Um, anyone hiring a GP close to here, I’m willing to go all the way to DC for work,” she explained. “I just want a place where I won't get punched again,” she tried to laugh at the trauma.

“The sanatarium is hiring, they’ve got good ratings and not a lot of patient complaints, they’re looking for a physician to care for the elderly members of the program,” Penelope explained as she clicked through screen after screen of info.

“That would be nice,” she smiled towards Diana. “Did you like the one you were at?”

“Oh yes,” Diana mused. “I had many friends there, I miss them and the social aspect. For a bunch of loons, I really loved the company.” She laughed at herself.

“I send the link to you,” Penelope smiled. “Now let me see his little baby bum again that one is my favourite, he’s so funny,” she leaned back in close to Diana.

All the pictures were priceless. Seeing Spencer grow up, page after page, every award and accomplishment displayed proudly. It made her miss her family, the love that a mother could bring to her life.

She got a little emotional, trying to nonchalantly wipe the tear off her cheek as she watched Diana flip a page.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly.

Y/N laughed, “yeah I just miss my mom.” She scrunched her nose so that the tears stayed in, waving her hand in front of her face as she tried to blink the tears back.

“Where is she?” An innocent question opening the floodgates.

“She had cancer,” Y/N cried softly. Not noticing as Emily and Penelope left the room. Giving them a space to bond.

“She died when I was 26,” she explained.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Diana placed her hand on Y/N’s back as she rubbed her softly. “Do you have any other family?”

“My moms are gay, well. After my mom died I stopped talking to her wife, yes she raised me but she hurt my mom too much for me to love her like a parent,” Y/N unloaded her trauma onto Diana, it must be genetic to find comfort in the Reids.

“Spencer never had a father either,” Diana related to her. “After William left it was just us, and Spencer stepped up to being the man of the house. He’s always been thrown into situations where he has no control but he needs to make the decisions. You’re probably the best person he could be with, he doesn’t have to take care of you.”

“Cause I baby him,” she laughed as she wiped stray tears off her cheeks. “He’s pretty wonderful, you did a fantastic job. Both of you did, look at the love you have. This is a perfect family.”

She gestured to the book of photos, seeing the love beaming off Diana’s face as she held a 12-year-old Spencer in her arms. Braces, on his face, thick glasses, long hair. He was adorable.

“You’re welcome to join,” Diana offered softly. “I’ve always wanted a daughter.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked softly.

“Why have more when you can stop at perfection,” she smiled, the same wonderful smile Spencer had.

“That he is,” she agreed. “Thank you for him.”

“Thank you, I mean it when I say you saved him,” Diana’s serious look making Y/N cry again.

“I know,” she cried. “And I’d do it again.”

In a heartbeat.

—

Rossi had 3 rooms ready for use in his guest house. Only 2 were ever used during their stay. They spent a few nights recovering together, helping Diana into a new routine for a few days while trying to just spend as much time as possible together out in the real world.

Rossi’s property was huge, never-ending even. He had lake access, ponds with ducks, fields and fields of long grass topped with flowers. It was like a dream getting to explore it together.

Happiness hit her like a freight train, smacking her in the chest and knocking the wind out of her.

She blinked and suddenly she had been waking up in Spencer’s arms for a week straight. Going on adventures together, waiting for him with a coffee outside his NA meetings, holding him all night long.

He had a hard time adjusting to a real bed again, it was too soft. He spent most of his time with his head on Y/N's chest, letting her rub his back slowly as she kissed his head, helping him drift off to sleep every single night. Causing her to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

Every day beside him was a blessing, no longer was he a dog trapped in a cage. He was free, running with her through the fields like wild horses.

She woke up with him still snuggled into her, arm around her waist, legs tangled together, his face right in the crook of her neck. His hot breath on her skin being the thing that finally woke her up.

Absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair, eyes still closed as she woke up. Snuggling her cheek against the top of his head, causing him to pull her in tighter. Both of them slowly coming alive again.

“I love you,” her voice coarse from sleeping with her mouth open, dry as she licked her lips. It was the only thought that came to her mind. Not even realizing it was the first time she’s said it to him.

Spencer kissed her neck softly, “I love you.”

She couldn’t believe the happiness she was feeling, almost positive that even in her saddest moments she still loved him just this much. He was everything, even under all the scares and trauma, he was the most wonderful person in her whole world. And she was beyond blessed to be holding him in her arms.

The sun was barely up yet, having fallen asleep around 10 pm last night, they were up way earlier than they expected. It was so nice, the deep orange light of the morning sun creeping through the window behind the bed.

“Do you want to go watch the sun come up?” She asked softly.

“Yeah,” he nodded softly. Sitting up with her to get ready.

They put on track pants and sweaters and shoes, grabbing a few blankets and heading outside. A few minutes of walking behind Rossi’s house led them towards a beautiful little pond, they laid out 2 blankets over the dew-soaked grass before cuddling on top of it.

The birds were performing for them, the clouds were cleaning into the most beautiful morning blue sky she had ever seen. She couldn’t help herself from holding him tighter against the blanket.

The sun shined on the water, casting beautiful pinks and oranges across the surface as it stretched into the sky. A few ducks followed their mommas in the May morning breeze, quacking in agreement as they swam across the pond. Playing a game of following the leader.

It was a dream, she was sure of it. It was all too perfect to be real.

Including Spencer, he laid there softly underneath her, holding her against his chest as she appreciated the world around them. His attention only on her, even after being locked up for 3 months. He would always choose her.

“I’m so happy,” she said softly. “You make me so happy.”

He kissed her on the forehead, pushing her back against the blanket so he could kiss her whole face as she laid there. Smiling as she held his sides, letting him smother her in affection.

When he finally stops kissing her, he brushes her hair behind her ear. Cupping her face with one hand as he looks at her. The sun casting a vibrant glow on the both of them as they appreciated each other for a moment.

“I don’t know how I made it so long without you,” he finally speaks. “But I never want to do it again.”

“Move in with me?” She replied without a second thought. “I need to find a place here anyway, and I doubt you want to go back to your apartment.”

“I already asked Derek for the place he was fixing on Wilmont, it’s close to the sanatarium, mom wants to be social again,” he filled her in on his plans. “We just have to sign the lease.”

“We?” She teased him.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

“Good,” she smiled as she pulled him into another kiss. “Because I love you, too.”

Spending time with Spencer was intimacy in its purest form. It was a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual love. It was the first time in her life she felt truly in love, not mesmerized by the idea of it.

She trusted him when he said that he loved her. She believed him when held her when he talked to her about his day or the most random things his mind could conjure. When he’d just hold her, enjoying her presence without wanting anything more than just her.

Chapter 9

They arrived in Vermont early on a Saturday morning, heading to her apartment to pack everything up. It was just the two of them this time, flying in together, half asleep at the break of dawn.

Only bringing 1 bag with her essentials for the next 2 days, hoping to pack her whole life into a truck and pray it arrived in Virginia okay.

And she got to show Spencer her space. A personal side of her that he had no idea about. He knew her mind, her feelings, her trauma, but he didn’t know what her personality was really like outside of loving him.

He was surprised by the amount of stuff she had. Wandering around her apartment quietly as she started taping boxes into shape.

Rented white walls enclosed the space when she moved in, not being able to paint them or anything felt wrong to her. So she covered them in photos, artwork and posters. Bringing the space to life with a touch of colour.

Mostly neons, having an affinity for green and purple accent pieces. Not a single shade of blue to be found, getting enough of that at work over the years.

She had plants everywhere, an old record player and a million different albums spread across the living room. Her bedroom was a mess, the closet was even worse. The kitchen would be easy to pack, it was the stuff on the walls she was worried about.

“I’m probably not getting my deposit back,” she laughed as she started taking the paintings down.

“I didn’t know you went to Harvard?” He points at her medical degree on the wall as she takes it down.

“Yeah, let me guess you’re a Yale guy?” She teased him.

He scoffed, nudging her arm lightly. “CalTech and MIT actually, Yale was my safety school.”

“Mine too,” she smiled.

Spencer stood beside her and watched for a minute, “what should I do?”

“Pick an area and pack the way you would if this was your place, I trust you won't break anything.”

“Okay,” he nodded, beginning stacking all her books on the kitchen table.

They worked well together, they knew that already. She put on music, they moved around each other freely. Occasionally singing the words and dancing around to the good ones. It was a lovely day to just open the windows and clean.

Hours passed, pizzas had been ordered and destroyed, boxes filled every corner of the space as her personality was completely ripped from the room. Soon it was just them, a couch and the record player.

She got up and walked into the bedroom to change, feeling sticky and gross from the day. Not expecting Spencer to follow and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Who knew packing boxes for 7 hours would make you so sweaty,” she jokes as she peels the shirt off her back. Standing in front of him in just her sports bra.

He turns away from her, making her laugh slightly. “Spencer, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He asks as he turns back to look at her.

She nods softly, “do you want to shower with me?”

He’s speechless for a moment, staring at her with an open mouth, “yeah, yes sure.”

She can't help herself from laughing, taking his hand and pulling him into her tiny bathroom. She makes sure they both have a few towels, seeing him awkwardly stand by the door like he’s not allowed to move.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she reminded him. “Go as slow as you want.”

“I want to join you, but just to clean,” he made his decision.

“Alright, I have 3 different shampoos you can choose from,” she smiled, opening her cupboard and letting him pick. He smiled, appreciating how easily she made it a strictly business situation.

She took off her pants, watching him get undressed out of the corner of her eye. They had been much more intimate with each other already, getting naked in front of him shouldn’t have been as nerve-racking as it was.

She turned on the water, making sure it was the right temperature with her foot. She took a deep breath and just took the sports bra off, freeing her boobs after a long day felt amazing, replacing the fear of Spencer seeing her for the first time. She dropped her underwear to the floor and stepped into the shower, waiting for him to do the same.

Before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, naked. She didn’t know how to act, just laughing and smiling at him. He did the same, it felt kinda crazy that they were standing in a shower, butt naked as the water pooled at their feet.

“You have to pull the thingy up,” she pointed at the bottom of the shower behind him. “It might be cold when it hits you, here pull it up and hide in the corner, like I do.”

He followed her instructions, pulling the small silver plug up to redirect the water from the tub faucet to the shower head. Cowering into the corner with her, their chests pressed together as the cold water hit his back, making him gasp as she laughed.

She wrapped her arms around him, leaning against the shower wall as she held him against her, “hi,” she whispered through her smile.

He kissed her quickly before backing up under the stream. She watched the water cover his hair, making it darker as it spread through the long locks. She watched it drip down his body softly, her eyes travelling down as it did.

He had a scar on his neck and all the bruising on his chest was long gone. His skin was so pretty, he only had a small amount of chest hair, but it was the collection of freckles all over capturing her gaze the most. She reached out and rested her hand on his chest, seeing his eyes open as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Sorry,” she pulled her hand back.

“It’s okay,” he laughed slightly. “Here,” he reached behind her for the bar of soap, “if you want to touch me while I wash my hair?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. Reaching for the loofa on the tap behind him, standing directly in his space as she did so.

They switched sides, slowly turning so he would be out of the spray of the shower head. He put shampoo in his hands and rubbed it through his hair while she watched quietly for a moment.

She rubbed the bar of soap against the fabric of the loofa, watching it foam up and fill the small space with a soft cucumber scent. Running it over his chest softly as he massaged his scalp. She was so soft with him, mesmerized by how lucky she was.

He was beautiful and soft. He wasn’t big and buff like Derek, he was just a normal man with a love for chocolate donuts and jello. She ran the loofa over his tummy as she smiled, loving everything about him.

Loving every part actually while trying to avoid both eye and physical contact with specific sections of him. Not knowing if he was okay, wanting to respect his space, and appreciating that he was doing the same with her.

He laughed when she ran it along his side, ticking his armpit as he tried to wash his hair, soap dripping down onto his eyebrow. She reached up and wiped it off his face so it wouldn’t go in his eye.

“Thanks,” he smiled.

“Switch?” She said as she guided him back under the water, his eyes still closed from the fear of getting soap in them. Scrunching his face up in the cutest way.

The water cascaded over his body, washing the soap down him as she watched, her hair not even close to being wet enough to wash yet. She just wanted to watch the show, to look at all of him and appreciate the moment.

He opened his eyes once all the soap was gone, his hair longer than ever as it laid flat behind his ears, he looked so funny without a big curly mop of hair on his head, remembering he said it used to be like this at one point.

“Your turn?” He offered, taking the loofa from her and reapplying the soap to it. “Can I?”

“Of course,” she answered as he slowly ran the material over her.

He was so gentle, she watched his face as he washed over her. Biting his bottom lip in concentration as he covered her chest, arms and stomach, “um,” he tried to speak, she knew what he wanted.

She took the loofa from him and replaced it with a bar of soap, “rub it in your hands for a sec, and then use them it’s easier.”

He did just that, lathering up his hands before he placed them directly on her breasts. She let out a sigh, bordering on a moan, as he held them in his hands, massaging the soap in carefully. Thumbs rubbing over her nipples as he made sure to not miss a spot.

She was in heaven, tossing her head back against the shower wall as he ran his hands over her more. Exploring her as she leaned against the wall.

Down her stomach, past her belly button, washing her hips before dropping to his knees. Using the bar of soap once more to wash over her legs as she stared at him, amazed by the bravery he was showing.

The water getting in his eyes down there, he stood and pushed his hair back out of his face as the water dropped to the floor, “turn around?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” she replied, turning to face the wall.

He ran his soapy hands all over her back, over her shoulders and arms. Paying special attention to her butt, which made her laugh, she was only a little ticklish there.

She was covered head to toe in bubbles, Spencer looked at her with a big grin on his face as he noticed his job was done. Helping her under the water to wash all the soap off.

She lifted her arms to run the water through her hair, feeling her boobs perk up as she did so. Spencer's attention being completely switched to her chest as he watched. “Pass me the gold shampoo bottle?”

“Y-yeah,” he said, grabbing it from behind himself and handing it back to her.

She stepped into his space, pouring the soap into her hand and rubbing it in. “They say if you lather it up it’ll apply easier,” she explained her little life hack as she rubbed her hands together.

Finally running her hands back through her hair in Spencer’s personal bubble. Her boobs pressing against his chest once again. He was breathing heavier as she watched him, hoping soap didn’t make its way into her eye and ruin the moment.

When she finally stepped back to wash the soap out of her hair, Spencer followed, pressing them together once more. Holding her by the waist as she continued to get the soap out.

Once the water ran clean, she rested her hands on Spencer's shoulders. Staring at him as the water ran down her back, his eyelashes covered in water droplets as he stared into her eyes.

He was beautiful like this, just himself.

“Are we ever going to be like a real couple?” He asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

He ran his wet hands over his back as he thought about it for a moment, “I would like to be with you, more than this, but-”

“You mean sex?” She smiled softly, trying her best to not tease him. It was a serious moment, but she loved him too much to see him struggle.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how I’ll react,” he admitted.

“Honey,” she cooed, rubbing her nose against his softly. “Sex doesn’t make us a real couple, first of all. And second, we have all the time in the world, so you take it as slow as you want. We can start little by little, I don’t mind waiting.”

“How do you mean?”

She smirked at him, “have you ever masturbated in the same room as someone else?”

He swallowed sharply, shaking his head softly, “no, have you?”

“No,” she whispered. “But it’s a small step. You can sit beside me, we touch ourselves, nothing overlaps unless you want it to. Ease into it. It would be another easy way to be comfortable with your body around me.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

She reached behind herself to turn the water off, tapping the silver plug with her foot to release the pressure, and stepping out of the shower finally.

—

They dried off, getting into their pj’s before laying on the couch in her empty living room. Listening to the Hozier album that was already sitting on the player and cuddling while their hair dried. Just enjoying each other's company, he was so soft and he smelled amazing, it was so nice to have him in her space.

“Did you still want to?” Spencer cut into the moment.

It made her smile against him, lifting her head off his chest as she went to stand up. “Come on,” she took his hand, helping him to his feet.

She pulled him in close, kissing his lips softly. Only planning to kiss him once, being drawn into his mouth as his hands wrapped around her back.

She held him in return, slowly making her way into the bedroom as they stayed connected, laughing as her back smacked the door frame and then at the way he fell into her bed with her on top.

Her music softly travelled in from the living area, they kept the lights off as they stripped out of their pants and got under the covers.

“How did you want to start?” She asked, turning to face him as she laid against the pillow.

“Can we just kiss for a while?”

“Absolutely,” she smiled, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in.

She was laying slightly on top of him, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him. His tongue was soft, swirling with hers as they made out softly. He was very handsy, wanting to touch every single part of her once again like he didn’t get enough in the shower.

She spread her leg between his, sitting on his thigh as she rubbed against him. He bit her lip, squeezing her skin at the feeling. “I think I can do it,” he said softly.

“No,” she whispered, kissing his neck before getting off him. “I don’t want to hear I think. It’s a yes or it’s a no.”

“Okay,” he managed to bring reason back into his horny brain.

He took his shirt off, only in boxers beside her, tenting in them slightly. She took off her shirt as well, laying back against the pillow. He watched her breasts the whole time, licking his lips as he leaned on his side.

She ran a hand over her side, cupping her breast and tossing her head into the pillow more. “I’m starting without you,” she teased, her other hand slipping under the band of her underwear.

He laid on his back, bending his knees as he slipped his boxers off, she looked over at him with careful eyes. Genuinely curious about how beautiful he would look rock hard and begging for it.

She didn’t move her hand, just resting it under her underwear to entice him to start. She watched as he stroked himself softly, returning his attention to her smiling face.

She pushed her shirt and underwear off as well, scooting in closer to him so she was pressed against his side. Bending one knee so she could ghost her fingers over the folds as he watched her.

“I want to touch you,” he rushed the words out.

“Okay.”

He reached his left hand over, resting it on her hip before resting his hand on top of hers. She slipped it out from under his grasp, guiding his fingers to her clit as she stretched her legs further apart.

“Yeah, like that,” she encouraged him.

“W-would you?”

“Finish the sentence,” she instructed him. “Tell me exactly what you want.”

“Stroke me, I want it. Yes.”

She wrapped her fist around him, feeling his fingers swoop down to see how wet she was. “Oh,” she jerked her hips against his side, not expecting him to loop the wetness back up and rub her clit again.

He groaned as she stroked him faster, both of them staring at their own handiwork. She was fascinated with how big he was, being able to stroke up and down him so gracefully it was like she was always meant to. She licked her lips as she saw the pearl of precum drip out. Gathering it up with her thumb as she slid back down his length.

He was panting, trying to hold himself back as she kept jerking him off. Lightly touching her clit as all his attention focused on not cuming so soon.

“It’s okay honey,” she whispered in his ear.

Straddling his thigh then. His hand resting on her clit still as she ground down on him. “Is this okay?” She asked.

He nodded, “yes,” biting his lip so he didn’t explode right then and there.

He felt amazing on her, every time her hips ground down her clit rested right between his fingers perfectly to gain the perfect amount of friction back and forth.

She let herself go, bucking her hips and moaning as she stroked him with one hand. Resting the other behind her neck so he could look at her boobs perk up again, sending him so close to the edge he almost jumped out of his skin.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “C-an I?”

“Cum baby,” she gasped. Following her own instruction as she watched the cum burst from him, shooting up over her fist as she stroked him through it. Grinding against him as she whimpered, “fuck, I love you,” leaving her mouth.

Letting go of his dick as he started to whine, she dropped down against him with her face nestled into his neck.

She kissed him, over and over again. Peppering them against his skin for the best orgasm she has ever had.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his skin as he came down from the high. His chest heaving as he tried to calm down, only picking up again when she heard the sob.

“Shhh,” she whispered against his skin, letting him hold her tighter against him as he cried. “I love you, honey, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

She felt the tears welling in her own eyes, overwhelmed with her feelings for him. “I love you so much Spencer,” she cried against his skin, the tears dripping down his neck slowly.

His hands ran over her back, they held each other while they cried.

Everything from the last week finally catching up with them both. They hadn’t taken a moment to talk about any of it, the fact he was even in prison or what happened after. They just moved on, pretending it was fine now.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered finally.

“Me too,” he pressed his hand onto her cheek, freeing her from his neck as she sat up a little.

Both of them still gross from the sex, pressing sweaty foreheads together as they took a moment. “I’m so sorry,” she emphasized, “are you okay?”

“I’m wonderful,” he laughed at the absurdity. “I’m crying because I love you so much.”

“Really?” She laughed too.

He nodded softly. Kissing her nose as she pulled back to look at him better. “I want to touch you but,” she laughed at the mess on her hand and where she rested it on his chest. “Can we pause for one sec?” She couldn’t stop smiling.

The two of them continuing to laugh at the situation as they cleaned up in the bathroom, laughing even harder as she sat to pee like they had been married for a million years already, laughing the hardest when it came out in dribbles from all the laughing.

Going through every emotion in the book as they coped with the insanity together.

Once they were clean they crawled back into bed. Resuming almost the same position as she sat down on his lap, holding his face in her hands like she wanted to. Rubbing her thumbs on his cheeks as he pulled her in closer by her hips.

“Tell me what you’re feeling?” She whispered.

“I’m happy, you saved my life and I can’t believe I get to do this with you,” he explained softly, moving his hands on her back. He talked with his hands, not able to say anything without them moving.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever known, Spencer,” she reassured him.

“Why?” He asked softly. “not in a pity party sense, I just want to know how you feel. You haven’t really told me, I’ve been waiting for you to open up, I thought maybe you were just like that because it was your job, but I want to know you more.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she bumped their noses together. “I don’t normally talk to people, even with Derek I’m really closed off. But I do trust you, and I want to, I just wanted to experience you when you’re free. I wanted to see if this overwhelming ache in my heart would dissipate as I was allowed to love you.”

She didn’t want to cry again. Blinking so the tears rolled back behind her eyes, licking her lips as her head tilted slightly. She just stared at his honey eyes, glossy and blown out. So absolutely beautiful.

“It got worse,” she laughed slightly. “I realized that now that you’re free you don’t have to see me every day, luckily you want to. But, now I think about losing you instead of keeping you safe.”

“Never,” he shook his head, face still cupped in her hands. “I’m never leaving you, you’re going to need a restraining order if you want to break up.”

She laughed, pushing the tears out, finally. Spencer kissed her cheeks, wiping the tears away with his lips. “Okay,” her voice broke as she tried not to cry anymore.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered. “You’re brave and kind, incredibly smart. You’re willing to do whatever it takes for the ones you love, you’re the only person I want to talk to every day.”

“I was going to say that about you,” she pressed their lips together finally, pushing him back against the headboard.

She laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling into him as she sat in his lap, “I have never loved anyone like this.”

“Me either,” he admitted as he pressed his cheek to her head. “Not even with Maeve, or Derek I know he told you.”

“And your mom,” she smiled. “She actually welcomed me to the family, said she always wanted a daughter. It’s nice to have a mom again.”

That broke him, he finally dropped the tuff boyfriend act he was putting up to hear her feelings, crying at his mother and the love of his life being close. She could tell he was a mamma’s boy, they had a bond Y/N wished she could have with someone. The closest she had to a Diana was Derek, as funny as that was.

She let him cry, not prying into it at all. Letting him take control of his emotions and the conversation. She ran her hands up and down his arm, soothing him softly as he held on to her.

“I was so scared,” is all Spencer says.

“I can imagine.”

“No, I mean about my mom,” he corrects her softly. “I thought the second she got her diagnosis that I ruined everything for her. She was going to forget me before I could even find a person to marry, let alone give her grandkids.

‘She was going to forget me,’ echoed in her mind as she wrapped her head around what he was saying. He was more terrified of losing his mother and missing time with her than he was about being in prison. He really put every ounce of his love into his family, it was beautiful.

“I applied to work at the sanatarium,” is how she answers. “They needed a GP and I need a job. This way I can see her every day, and you can go to work or teach or do whatever and know she’ll be okay. And old people seem nicer than cops and criminals.”

“I love you.”

She laughs, kissing his neck softly. “She’ll be okay, we’ll get her taken care of and who knows, maybe we’ll have more answers before a grandkid rolls around.”

It’s a risk, joking about having kids with him already. But she was ready for a life sentence with him, willing to stay in that god-awful prison as long as he was there. Including if he lost his case.

“You’re too good to me.”

“I try,” she smiled. “You’re pretty fantastic yourself, I didn’t just fall in love with your pretty face, sure you’re helpful and do what I say. But I love you because of what’s in here,” she ran her hand over his chest.

He just held her, silence encapsulating the room finally. The record stopped playing in the living room, no one was on the street at this time of night, the world stopped as she laid in his arms.

The Sunday morning sun was going to start coming up as she stayed up in his lap, both of them settling more against the pillow. She had no plans to get off him, he had no plans to separate from her loving embrace.

a/n: still working on an epilogue idk when it'll be done

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[mariana-oconnor]

IDK if you’re still accepting prompts… but how about something with reluctant witch!Bucky and his clumsy familiar!Clint.

Ah! I'm already writing this. I've got about 20k on this based on an anon thing I was sent last year (was that you? If it was you, thank you for the inspiration). I will post a snippet of it.

In my head this fic is called 'Emo Witch Bucky is Emo'... so take that as you will.

But here is a brief scene of when Bucky meets Hawk!Clint for the first time and tells him to fuck off.

Sorry it's not a whole fic right now, but this thing is living in my head, so I'm not sure I could write a different version of it. It is coming. This is one of the things I've been feeling too guilty to work on because of the WHOB, but now I've dropped out of that, this is pretty high on my list of things to finish.

At first he thinks the tapping on the window is the branch of the magnolia tree, bashing its pink blooms against the glass. But his fingers falter on the keyboard as he remembers he cut that branch back last week, threw it on the compost pile where it wouldn’t drive him crazy every time the wind blew its way.

Perhaps he should have put up the stronger spells - the ones that would warn him when people approached, the ones that would connect him to his land more tightly, so he could feel everything it feels.

But no. That way leads only to one place.

He turns slowly, swivelling his desk chair around to see the window and what looks like a bird of prey perched on the windowsill, one talon raised to… knock.

Bucky blinks and the bird looks back at him, then it very clearly raises its talon again and knocks. Bucky stares back at it and he can feel his muscles tightening. The bird is too intelligent to be just a bird, he knows. But he’s not going to think of it.

He crosses over to the window and cracks it open.

“Shoo,” he says, which has to be the least effective thing he could possibly do. The bird must think so too, because the way it gazes back looks almost amused. Although perhaps Bucky is just putting his own thoughts onto it. “Get lost,” he tells it, putting more force into his words. “I’m trying to work.”

It makes a noise, half screech half… trill? And hops towards him.

“Get gone,” he tells it, more firmly. Its beak looks sharp, its talons sharper, and he is reluctant to open the window wider or stick his hand out to bat it away. It makes that noise again and Bucky can feel it and he grits his teeth. “I’m not looking for a familiar,” he tells it. “Go find a witch that cares.”

He gets the feeling that the bird - the familiar - is laughing at him as it cocks its head to one side and makes that noise again.

“Fuck off,” Bucky says.

It’s bad luck to insult a familiar. He knows that. His father had had one, for a few years when Bucky was very young. She had been a hare with bright, sharp eyes and a strong kick. She’d stayed right by his father’s side, up until the accident, and then - well, then she’d saved his ma and his sister before his sister was even born.

It’s supposed to be a sign of greatness, or some such nonsense, a familiar finding you. You’re supposed to be grateful. There are whole family celebrations if a witch gets a familiar. A bond for life, one way or another, a boost to your magic, a companion to guide you through the strange world that lies beyond normal sight.

And one’s shown up on his windowsill, of all places.

“You must be lost as all hell,” he tells it and it hops towards him again. “You’ve got the wrong guy.”

It hops closer again.

It wants in, that’s clear enough. And as much as Bucky wants to shut the window against it and send the bird packing to bother some other poor witch who’d probably welcome it with open arms, there’s a movement behind him and he turns to see his grandmother’s book fall right off the shelf he’d put it on.

“And you can shut up too,” he tells it.

But it’s too late, in his shock he’d pushed the window open further. Not much, but enough for the feathery body to push through and start to flap around.

“What are you…?” he asks. The bird swoops around to perch on his desk. “Don’t touch anything.”

He crouches down to pick up the book and it’s fallen open to a page with a potion recipe to banish bad dreams. He shuts it quickly and drags a chair over to put it right back where it was.

If he hadn’t grown up a witch, he might think it was coincidence: that the book had just been slipping the whole time. But he did grow up a witch, and coincidence isn’t something he believes in.

[natromanxoff]

25 - Just Chatting...

Hello one and all.

It's been a long time since I graced these pages and, believe it or not, nothing much has been happening in my life, apart from the odd soiree or two. Winter has finally left us and spring has sprung, and it's nice to see the sun again. Let's start by wishing my old mate a happy birthday and I hope you all had a little drinkie for him, I know I did. In fact I got legless, he would have been proud of me. Whenever we were in London there was always a party at Fred's on his birthday, be it a handful of friends, or one where he invited half of Britain, but which ever one it was there was always a good time to be had and a lot of chaos. One year he actually took over Pikes Hotel in Ibiza and chartered a private plane to fly his friends in. Roger and myself were already on the island recording some of his solo stuff so we didn't have far to travel to the bash. When I say we were working, it's kind of true as we spent a lot of time on his boat "Ga Ga" whizzing around having lunch and fun. The party was held outside around the swimming pool, now is that an invite for trouble or what? There were hundreds of balloons hanging from every available fixture, and of course there is always an idiot that thinks he's a clown. This particular clown, who will remain nameless, decided it would be funny to light one of the balloons, and needless to say the whole lot went up in flames. Phoebe and Crystal to the rescue. We had to get this "fire" off the wooden rafters before the whole hotel went up in smoke, so we were pulling bits of string while burning rubber was dripping down on us. I was so traumatised by the whole event I had to have another drink ....... a lame excuse I know, but hey, it's my story. Back to the pool. Edwin Shirley, of trucking fame and also an all round good guy after a few too many, decided to have a swim, so he removed his clothing and was flapping around the pool when some daft countess told him to get dressed and behave himself. Wrong move lady. Edwin was not impressed by his telling off and threw her in, and she was even less impressed with that and started ranting and raving, much to the amusement to the rest of the party hounds. She left with her tail between her legs and didn't look at all glamorous in her soaking wet dress, running makeup and failed hairdo. We continued till mid morning and went straight to the airport and caught a flight home. Thanks F for the great parties and good times, you will never be forgotten.

I still get asked a lot if I'm gonna write the "Real" story about Queen. Well the answer is no, and the reason is that the guys gave me a great job and a great life and I have far to much respect for them, their wives/girlfriends, children and families to tell the world what we got up to in private. I feel that is our business and ours alone. Most of us are all in relationships and telling tales could make life awkward for a few people, band and crew alike. I'm sure at some point in time someone from the organisation will write a book, have 5 minutes of fame and make a quick buck, but it sure as hell won't be me, and I'll still be able to sleep at night and when I see the guys I will still be free to say, "Wanna beer MATE."

I've had a few questions asked me that I'm gonna answer quickly.

First off is "Do you have any stories about Freddies cats? (ripping furniture etc.)" Here's a good reply, No. So moving right along, "Of all the famous people you've met, who impressed you the most?" Tricky one this. After years in this "Biz" they all become "Just normal people," and some become good pals, but on one occasion I was in Paul McCartneys studio and I was handed his violin bass and I was sitting there holding it when someone said, "Paul is left handed, hold it like he would." When I turned it around, still taped in the cutout was the Beatles set list from their days in Hamburg, now that impressed me.

Deaky and myself were the only two reggae lovers in the outfit, and Bob Marley turned up to see the show at Madison Square Gardens. Strange choice of show for Bob, but he loved Another one bites the dust, and he happened to be in New York on a stopover on his way to Germany for laser treatment. Show time and our intro tape was playing, and someone told JD that Bob was in the audience, so he cranked his bass up and played "Lively up yourself" over the tape. This was very possibly the last time Marley ever heard this played as he died shortly after. I didn't get to meet him, but I did get to meet Tyrone Downie, Bobs keyboard player in the Wailers, and Tyrone and myself got up to all sorts of mischief that night. RT on the other hand hates reggae music, but I did manage to drag him to the Circus Krone in Munich to see Peter Tosh. I loved it, he hated it. I look at this as payback because years before he insisted that I went to Hammersmith Odeon to see Laurie Anderson, of O Superman fame. This show he loved, but I put it alongside Cher as one of the worst concerts I have ever seen. Needless to say I have also met a couple of stars that I didn't see eye to eye with. Like the American rock star we encountered in a club one night, and he was such a pain I had to take him into the toilets to have a quiet word with him. He finally got the message so I released my hand from around his neck and let him drop back down to the ground. To finish this segment I wanna tell you something that Bev Bevan said. Bev was the drummer with ELO, and them and us were touring the US at the same time, and as it turned out, staying in the same hotel in one city. Roger and myself were leaving the hotel and waiting for the elevator. When the doors opened Bev was in there and him and RT said their hellos. Rog then said, "Bev, this is Crystal, he looks after me." Bev turned to me, shook my hand and said, "Pleased to meet you. If it wasn't for guys like you, guys like us wouldn't be where we are today." He didn't need to say that, and was genuine when he did. I wasn't impressed with meeting him, but he is certainly in my top ten of nicest people I have ever meet.

Over the last few months I've spent a lot of time in the Chatroom, and I highly recommend it to you all as it can be a bit of a laugh. For anyone who has never visited the room please remember a couple of things, if you come in and start swearing you will be kicked out. I know, it happens to me all the time. Also don't come in and start going on about knowing axemen and murderers and other such garbage, cause that also warrants a kicking. Some buffoon from Ireland, who went by the name of "Death" turned up with an attitude and was going on about how f***ing awesome Queen were at Slane Castle. He was not known by anyone in there so I asked him to watch his language. He said he was the Grim Reaper and could do and say what he liked, so I told him otherwise and he was most put out when I kicked him. What a fool. A while ago there was some prat who called himself F***queen, good name eh! Anyway, he/she/it was picking on a lovely young lady called Raisa, and was saying some awful things to her and completely freaked her out, so I went to her defence and FQ turned the attention my way. As far as I'm concerned it's only letters on a screen and it didn't phase me at all, but at least he/she/it gave up on Raisa. In all fairness to FQ, whoever you may be, he/she left a message on the Bulletin Board saying sorry to Raisa and myself and would never do it again. So FQ, from the both of us, thanks for the apology, we accept it. What other weirdos have we had? Well, there was a brightspark who decided it would be funny to use the nickname QueenRshite, another bad move from this person who was honoured with a ban.

While in there I've seen a lot of friendships made, and a couple that have fallen apart. I got a private message one evening from a very drunk girl who, how shall we phrase this, offered me her body and wanted to do all sorts of naughty things to me, I thanked her and declined...must be getting old or something. I have also witnessed relationships being made and, usually there is a lot of humour involved, but needless to say some arguments do occur. I have also seen some of the daftest things said. One guy was so convinced that one of the regulars was either Deaky or she was chatting with him in private that he actually started tracking her every move on the net. He also told me about some highly illegal activities he was up to concerning the band. I wouldn't have thought I was the best person to tell such stuff to, and needless to say I had a go at him. Just to add to his stupidity he's been recently boasting about his affair with an underage girl, and I reckon if he had any more sense he would be half witted. Having mentioned all the twits I'd like to say a quick hello to all the regulars, White Queen and Killer Queen, the lovely girls Blue Rock and Rannnnnnni, SQJan, Mayflower and her boys, Farookh (aka Leroy Brown) MarshMallow, the three Tigers - Babe, Lily and Stripes and the mighty Falc, also to all the rest who I haven't mentioned by name, you know who you are. I'd also like to say hi to Daddy Cool who is the singer in the Dutch cover band Miracle, and Dad, if you never make it as a singer you could make a great career from being a stand up comedian. Finally an extra special hello to the gorgeous MTB, who is about to make an honest man of me ;)

Before I go I'm sure I don't need to remind anyone of a certain date in November that is engraved in all of our minds. And I know that a lot of you will be heading to Garden Lodge to leave flowers. I don't wanna preach and tell you what to do, and I know flowers are a nice gesture, but they do die and the only people to really benefit from this is the florist. This year lets all give a donation, no matter how small, to Aids research, this way the cash will be used to try and stamp out this awful disease. If you really wanna leave flowers, buy a smaller, cheaper bunch and donate the balance of what you would have spent to these charities. It's been said a million times before but it is true, Every penny counts.

As always, Loadsa Love.

Crystal

[one-time-offer]

Hellooo welcome to the fanfiction Im publishing at midnight because I have no self control!

There is about 4002 words so its pretty long.

Tw// Gorey description, self degrading, misgendering in a way.

----------------------------------------------

I was sat in the helicopter, next to my best and only friend. How did I agree to this situation again? Right, his charms. My friend, whom I met while playing a video game, is super attractive. So attractive that I doubt he has no partner. I mean, I wouldn’t date him. I’m not attracted to him that way but, he made me feel bashful.

I decided to check a few things on my arm screen to distract myself from the slow descend.

“Mon Dieu, are you alright?” he asked me.

“I suppose so.” With a nervous smile, I replied to him. After making sure I was really alright, he ruffled my hair.

“Remember. No one must know that we are going to this place.”

I nodded to him. “Of course, Mr Chamber!” and saluted him like a soldier.

We faced away from the helicopter to the empty, forest-like area. The copter had to drop us off at a clearing because it couldn’t enter the dense trees. Chamber had two weapons in his hands and, he gave me one of them. As I was checking out the weapon he gave me when he spoke.

“Sheriff.”

“Huh?”

“The name of your gun is Sheriff.” He informed me as he fixed the way I held it. He instructed me not to fire it unless I absolutely needed to.

After placing the gun inside my belt pouch, Chamber and I started walking deeper into the woods. I walked slightly behind him, checking out the ancient trees. I turned my head, my eyes wandering around the green forest before fixating on an abandoned building. He mentioned this place, an old and forgotten laboratory. Then, he stopped me.

“Ulti.”

“Yeah, Mr Chamber?”

“Can you see if there are any cameras around here?”

I nodded and sat down on the dirt. I tapped on my arm screen again and summoned a holographic screen and a keyboard. I started typing away.

Chamber got closer to me to see what I was doing. I could feel his breath on my curly hair. For some reason, no matter how hard I searched, I could not connect to the further away cameras.

“It’s no use, Mr Chamber. I can find the closest one’s location but, I can’t find the rest.” My curled pointer finger rested on my chin. “And what is up with their item name? It’s difficult to remember.”

“Would examining one of them help your dilemma?”

“Yeah. But how can we take one down without setting off the alarm?”

Chamber looked at my hologram screen with squinted eyes again before pulling a gold decorated pistol out of his vest.

I was still looking at my screen when he had shot his gun at a surveillance camera. A little off-put, I turned around to look at Chamber, who had grabbed the camera from the ground and handed it to me. His aim must be fantastic because the camera wasn’t really broken, just detached. I thanked him and took my backpack off. I took a few tools from my bag to take the camera apart. Chamber again watched me closely as I took a card from the camera and uploaded it onto my arm screen.

“There! I found the rest. But if I mess with them too much, they might set the alarm off.”

Chamber leaned down to look at my holographic screen again, rubbing his chin. I could easily read his mind by his look. “How do we take care of them then?” was what he thought.

“But, I can hack into their memory card and delete our time here when we need to leave!” and beamed at him.

“I was clever on bringing you here. Let us go. We should not take too long.”

Chamber helped me up, fixing my jacket for me and even waited for me as I dusted myself off. Once ready, we set off again. Only to be stopped by another obstacle; The entrance door. It was locked with a digital twenty two-digit passcode. But here is the catch; The numbers on the keypad were randomized. Each number probably changed locations after each try. And that lowered our chance of finding the password faster. We could have tried to look for fingerprints if it weren’t for that stupid randomizer. I could feel Chamber’s browny-gold eyes turn to me. With a sigh, I plugged my device into the lock. I quickly typed in a code and began waiting as it started checking for the password.

“Let me guess.” He sighed deeply. “We can’t guess it more than three times.”

“Two times. But I know I can find it on the first try!” I smiled broadly at him, so sure of my capabilities. Since I had returned to my screen, I didn’t notice his kind smile at me. I remember when we had first met in a video game, quite forever ago. My brother and I were trying out a somewhat old game we had never tried. Long story short, we were having a tough time, but a player from our team came to our rescue. He showed us the basics of the game, the guns we should main, and the tactics of our characters. When it was time to go, we added him as a friend. Even when my brother started university and we could not play as often with him, Chamber played with me. I remember his in-game name: Silver420. Now wasn’t our first time meeting, far from that. I was ecstatic when I learned he lived in France. I am a quarter French, my grandparents live there so, in the summertime, we would visit France. One day, he told me he needed to go to the military. I was so upset that my friend who always listened to my geeky talks had to go. But there was nothing he could do. So, we decided to visit him the next time we went to France before he disappeared. That was about 3 or 4 years ago. Chamber invited me on a journey together to make up for the lost time. He didn’t know that I had hacked onto his computer and learned what the mission intended. It was to get some information from this building. It’s an old laboratory that did experiments with Radianite. Needlessly to say, they had to leave in a hurry. I must have spaced out for a while because Chamber gently pets my head to get my attention back on the password. I returned to the screen, and sure enough, the device was beeping to signify it was done and, the password was right there in front of my own two eyes; 5253484832664667466946. “That’s quite the password!” I thought as I chuckled. Chamber gave my head another ruffling as the doors opened for us to enter after entering the password.

The inside of the building was no different than the outside: covered in greenery and cracks. We started exploring the place. Chamber had a flashlight and, I used my arm screen as a light source while walking behind him. Our footsteps echoed in the empty hallways. He took us to another wing. Chamber made us stop and check the rooms. I was not paying him attention, more on the disgusting floor. As a result, I screamed at the top of my lungs when a centipede crawled in front of us. I must have scared him because he planted one of his trap cards. He was holding it to find a good place for a teleporter and make an easy getaway, perhaps. But why was it on the trap version?

He just sighed, not angry at me, or I hoped he wasn’t.

“S-Sorry Mr Chamber... I don’t like bugs and-and, I just saw one so, I-“

“Do not worry, my friend. Let’s find the room we are seeking. Then I can leave to place a teleporter.” And smiled. Gods, that smile. That god damned smile. I was fixated on his face when he gently placed a hand on my back, making us walk again.

“Wait... what about your gadget?”

“It can’t be helped, now. Leaving you in total darkness is a worse decision. It’s a... gift from us to the building.”

I wanted to protest but, a feeling inside me told me it was not a good idea so, I shut up.

Chamber tried a door when it did not open, he used his gun to shoot the lock off the door after telling me to cover my ears. Creak, the door cried as Chamber opened it. He announced that this was it and walked into the room, trying the light switch. When he realized there was no power anywhere, he just sighed, letting me enter after him. We used our light sources to examine the room. There were three boards inside, all with writings on them. But one of the boards covered another. It was stuck in its place, not budging even when Chamber tried to push it. With no other choice, Chamber let it go and told me to take a picture of the boards so, I did as the told me to. There was some stuff on the table; a laptop, which did not turn on and some more gadgets. I didn’t understand what they were but, Chamber did. He picked up a smaller machine and made a sour face.

“A finger-sized spike.”

“A what?”

“Spike. Designed to engulf radianite. But this looks unusual.”

“Here, let me take a look.” I placed my backpack on the empty chair and offered my hand to him. Chamber delicately placed the mechanism in my smaller hand. I turned it around, examining before talking. Chamber leaned closer.

“No, I don’t think the radianite was to be sucked out by this. But to inject it.” His eyes widened.

“Could you perhaps explain more about it?”

I nodded, pointing at the end. “See here? Maybe it was to be stuck onto your skin and push the liquid in.”

“But radianite is not a liquid.”

“No, but can be melted onto it.” I pointed to the board behind him.

He squinted his eyes, flashing his light to the board to see. It was right there on the board, explaining in great detail how one can mix something with this energy source to make it denser. Whatever the thing was, we did not know. It was hidden behind the stuck whiteboard. I could see the shock in Chamber’s face which, suddenly grew onto something more concerned.

“What about the laptop?”

I turned around as my eyes met the turned off laptop. I gave Chamber a doubtful shrug. “I can’t say anything about that. There is no power to charge it.”

“I am sure I saw the electrical room. Wait here. I will be back.” He seemed more concerned now. Before I could say anything, he left. I used my arm device as a light source again as I pushed the gadgets to the side to make room for my laptop. I turned it on and, it let more light into the room which, I used to investigate the rest of the mechanisms. I wonder what Chamber was doing.

He was marching down the hallway they had just arrived but, instead of entering the electrical room, Chamber walked past it. He stood still while checking out the aoe damage area that his trap left. Someone or something has triggered it. Could someone have followed them? Perhaps, Cypher? Viper? It can’t be his clone because he was back at the match in Breeze. Or maybe ... no, impossible. It could not have survived this long, he thought. Chamber raised an eyebrow, looking around him cautiously. Then, he silently pulled out his golden plated gun again. He didn’t know what or where whoever activated his trap was but, he had a bad feeling inside. He should turn the lights back on and find Ulti.

I hummed a song, an ost of the game I used to play with Chamber and my brother. I placed a mechanism down when I heard a noise from just out of the room.

I was petrified to move from my spot nor call out to Chamber. But who knew what this noise could have been. What if Chamber had suddenly gotten hurt? What if I was about to get hurt? I nervously crept towards the open door. I gulped. I let my arm device’s light onto the hallway, visibly trembling as I pulled the pistol Chamber gave me from my pouch. I looked around while leaning on the doorframe as I gently stood up, shining my light around the empty and dark corridor as I made my way out of the room.

“...Chamber?” I whispered.

I made my way to the left side of the corridor and held my breath. I caught another noise behind me. I turned around slowly and lit my light that way. I could faintly pick up the eerie noises of flesh, like some slimy creature trying to walk. I stepped backwards from fear, away from the noise that sounded like it was approaching closer. My eyes enlarged from the pure shock I felt and, I could no longer move. My mind couldn’t decide between fight or flight so, there I was. Like a moron, standing in front of danger with my gun now on the ground. What would Vincent think of me if he saw me like this? I felt weak and frozen. It was slowly approaching. The creature looked sticky and was merging onto itself like an amalgamation. Wait a moment. Looking closely, I could make out another body fused onto it. I could see two heads and a larger body size. Had it absorbed someone else? Was I next? There were largely absent chunks of skin and acid-like gluey slime on the other parts of the conjoined bodies and, under the muscles, I could see the bones of two people. There was no blood, surprisingly. They had already dried and made the turquoise colour of the slime a redder tone. It looked down at me. We were making eye contact. Then, I was pulled by my jacket after the amalgamation had raised an arm to hit me. It had 5 of them.

“Cover your ears.” A man told me. At first, I thought it was Chamber but, the voice sounded different. I had gotten back to my senses enough to do as he said. But I still heard the man shoot a few times at the amalgamation. I counted them. At the 7th shot, it fell to the ground, accidentally spilling some acid slime on the man’s arm. He hissed in pain, holding his arm. Then, he turned to face me. I must have been a total mess because he winced again.

“Why did you stand there like a coward?” he was oddly handsome with the front pieces of his hair dyed an indigo purple-like colour and the rest black. The man looked Asian, Japanese, I assume. I was staring into his eyes when I felt my warm and salty tears slip down from my cheeks.

“Ulti!” Chamber shouted, looking down at the dead creature that rested in front of us. He had turned the power back on, but I hadn’t noticed it until now. He looked at the attractive man that stood in front of me. He still held his burnt arm.

“Yoru. How can I help you?”

“Tell me why you arrived in this shit hole.”

“Ah, that my friend is something I cant explain just yet.” They both glared at each other. So, I stepped in.

“Uh- Yoru, was it?” My words got their attention. Chamber looked calmer but, Yoru didn’t. I continued. “We should probably do something about your arm. Are there any first aid kits around here?” and fixed my glasses.

“Yes, I am sure I saw a one in one of the rooms. You both go into somewhere safer and wait for me.” Now that there was power, we could see the direction Chamber wandered off to.

“Come with me, Yoru.” I gently offered my hand to him but, he did not take it. Instead, he just signalled me to show him the way.

I took my backpack from the chair and set it down for Yoru to sit. Chamber arrived not a moment later and, gently I applied lotion to his burn.

“You still should see a doctor after this...” Yoru didn’t seem as angry as he was before. Instead, he watched me. I was growing nervous under his stare and did not dare look up at all. Actually, Chamber was watching me too. Why am I the one being watched? Aren’t they both suppose to glare at each other? After wrapping his arm with some bandages I stood up.

“There. Good as new.” I smiled. And walked to my backpack.

“Why did you hesitate to shoot the monster?” Yoru suddenly asked me.

Yoru’s eyebrows got closer to each other. He was visibly angry once more.

“It’s not a monster. It’s an amalgamation!” I tried to explain to Yoru. “It used to be a human!”

“I don’t care what in shit it was. You had a clear shot and, you hesitated.” I turned my head away before looking down. I did not want to tell him the real reason I hesitated. I only kept facing down before stepping backwards.

“I’m Sorry... I uh... I will go grab the gun...” and immediately walked out of the room. I felt hurt. Not physically but rather emotionally. I don’t know what they were thinking but, I am sure they were in a lot of pain. I just hopes their pain has finally ended. I grabbed the pistol from the ground and turned around at the corpse again. What was that slimy exterior?

“I didn’t know you dragged children to your dirty jobs.” Yoru angrily told Chamber, who seemed less stressed about the situation.

“Ulti is around your age. Please do not assume someone is a child because of their height.” He sighed.

“You’ve made a horrible mistake coming here.” Yoru told Chamber as they exchanged stares.

“So did you my friend.” Chamber always tried to be more friendly but today, he felt mean.

I walked inside again with the gun and placed it inside my backpack. Sensing the air was tense, I was curious to know what had happened. But when Chamber told me we only had a few hours before we had to leave the island, I let him change the subject. I didn’t want to bother them. He helped me out as I turned the laptop around and cleaned the USB ports. Once I deemed it clean enough, Chamber went through the cabinets and threw me a charger. I was a bit troubled but, with Yoru’s help, we managed to plug the device in to charge.

I knew Yoru was watching me silently as if he didn’t want to talk at all. But I felt anxious of his stare. He was insanely attractive but, his intense gaze felt cold and scary.

“Er, Yoru? Thank you for saving me back there. I don’t know what came over me.”

“You froze. Not a good tactic if you want to survive.” He warned me. I knew that yet, I couldn’t do anything back there. I leaned forward to my computer, reading a line I wrote and then added to it.

“You feel like a fusion of KJ and Cypher. “ Yoru said to me, watching as I kept writing. A soft smile appeared on my lips.

“The German lady and the cowboy hat guy? Thanks! She is truly a beauty. I can’t say much about Mr Cypher tho. “ I think Chamber was looking through the files. I could hear the cabinet doors opening and closing as well as paper shuffling.

“You know of them?”

“I know most of your colleges. But Mr Cypher is above my current level of coding.”

“Where do you know about us?”

“Mr Chamber told me about everyone!”

“He did, didn’t he.” He faced him, watching for a bit as Chamber picked out a few files.

“Tell me, who sounded the bravest?”

“You, duh! I heard about your dimensional skills. They are so cool!” I could tell Yoru was smiling.

“He likes to talk about his friends a lot. Particularly that one girl with ice powers. I think her name was Cub? He said he was worried that she might be depressed.” I added to my words.

“Snow Queen cries too much.” He pulled out a comb from his jacket and fixed his hair. I could tell from the way he stood that he was exhausted. Yet, he let me sit.

“They seem to like each other.” I smiled innocently.

Yoru rolled his eyes at me. “Of course they do. It is another stereotypical best friends to lovers trope. She should open up her eyes and look at others for a change.”

“... Well, I turned around. “I like Chamber too...” Yoru and I just stared at each other before he crossed his arms.

“You should open up your eyes too.” That was not the answer I was expecting. I am sure he misunderstood me. But before I could tell him that I wasn’t in love with him, I saw Yoru walk to one of the whiteboards and start reading the stuff on it. All three of us stayed silent with occasional questions asked to one another. We spent hours in that room. I felt relieved when Chamber checked his watch and announced it was time to leave. I placed both of the laptops onto my backpack and, Chamber carried the files he thought he’d need by himself. Yoru said that he was returning with us. I had no trouble with that but, Chamber seemed bothered by it a bit. Yet, let him tag along. I was relieved he wasn’t as angry as he was hours ago. We waited for the copter and started discussing dinner plans with Chamber.

“Hey, Yoru! Come eat with us!”

“I think I will.” Yoru looked at me and smirked a little.

“Of course you will...” Chamber whispered his words but, I heard him. When the helicopter got closer to the ground, Yoru helped me enter it. I thanked him with a bright smile and took a seat.

Chamber suddenly whispered something to Yoru. He seemed amused but, it left Yoru in pure confusion. After Yoru got in, he covered his mouth slightly with his hand, lost in thought.

“What’s with him?” I asked Chamber.

“He is questioning himself.” Despite how much I begged him to explain more, Chamber refused. Yoru sat at my other side and looked at me with confusion.

“So, you are a boy?”

I sighed deeply. This wasn’t the first time someone assumed I was a girl.

“Yeah. Honestly, I don’t get why people assume I’m a girl. I just dress a bit feminine. Something wrong with it?”

Yoru looked over at Chamber, who was too focused on the files he brought. “No.” It was Yoru and he said whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. So with his arms behind his head, he added. “You even look better than the Vogue model next to you.

“You look good too!” Good was too weak to describe Yoru. He looked so attractive like a god. I felt myself getting flustered so I faced down, only to loose the serotonin I just gained. But I kept smiling down at my backpack.

“of course I do.”

I rested my head gently to the back, still smiling. What they didn’t know was that my smile was fake. I kept remembering the amalgamation. There was a hint of sadness and regret in its eyes and, I remember it clearly. I was happy I took a bit of the slimy residue with the test tube I took from my bag after bandaging Yoru’s arm. I was going to figure out what this was.

[benedictscanvas]

objectively - spencer reid x reader

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: none that I can think of unless you hate fluff (you monster)

A/N: My first Spencer Reid! I love this man so very much. Requested by @justkurotingz​ who I think is such a wonderful writer so I really hope I’ve done this justice! :)

---

It smelled like coffee and business. Keyboard tapping and idle chatter. There were teenage girls with elaborate concoctions to be sipped through straws, men in suits ordering espressos to go, one particular women taking an ungodly amount of time in the line to choose a cake for the weekly catchup with her friends.

You didn’t mind as much as some of the men in suits shaking their head in the line. Her friends were laughing at her and nudging them and the whole debacle only made you smile. There was nowhere else in the world you had to be, which was a rare feeling to be savoured as much as possible.

So you waited patiently as they made your drink and people watched along the way. A little boy with a slice of cake that he definitely wouldn’t finish. A man with a scarf half wrapped around his face trying to wrestle with the sugar container whilst also talking to someone on the phone. A woman on her phone in the corner. You frowned at that one. If she just looked up, took in the sights and the smells that surrounded her, she might not be sighing every two seconds before her acrylic nails began an incessant tapping on her screen.

“Y/N?”

You stepped forward and claimed your drink with a grateful nod, turning to the counter to put a little more sugar in it yourself. But clearly, you must’ve turned too quickly, because before you knew it there was hot coffee all over your arm and splashing onto the floor as you bumped straight into something solid with a gasp.

It took you a few moments to register the pain in your arm, but when you did, the person you’d bumped into was already grabbing napkins frantically and pressing them to your arm, mopping up as much of the burning liquid as he could as he rambled.

“I am so so sorry, I didn’t even see you I was on the phone and I must not have been concentrating,” he stopped and you finally looked up at him from your arm. It was scarf and sugar guy. He still hadn’t looked at you properly, focused on cleaning up your arm even though he was speaking into the phone propped between his ear and his shoulder now, “Shut up, Morgan, I didn’t even see her...I’m hanging up.”

He did just that and shoved his phone in his pocket. A disgruntled employee mopped up the spill on the floor while he had spoken. Suddenly he seemed to realise what he’d been doing, that he’d been cleaning up your arm without even asking. You felt stupid. You’d been just staring at him dumbly for such a long time, shocked into stillness by the burning and the sudden accident. But also, by some strange yet overwhelming urge for him to look up at you.

He sheepishly moved his eyes up to your face, biting his lip with worry like he was expecting you to scold him, or maybe even scald him with the little coffee remaining in your cup. Instead, you were standing there, looking at him. His eyes, specifically. You hadn’t seen them when you glanced over at him earlier. Now, it was like you’d become obsessed in a matter of seconds. One little moment. Sometimes, that was all it took.

You shook your head and tried to hide your embarrassment with a smile.

“What are you talking about? It was completely my fault. You didn’t get any on you did you?” you asked, checking him over. When you looked back up at him in his silence, you noticed he was still looking at you, a look in his eyes that meant it was your turn to bite your lip until he recovered himself.

“N-no, no I didn’t, it tipped your way,” he said nervously. He hurried threw the napkins he’d been patting your arm with in the bin and turned back to you, “Can I buy you another?”

“Oh no, I wouldn’t dream of it,” you said easily, waving him away and trying to ignore the heat of your arm.

“Please?” he asked, taking you off guard with how earnest he sounded, “My coworker now knows I bumped into a woman and he’ll never let me hear the end of it if I don’t make it up to you somehow. It’ll only add to his opinion that I’m hopeless around the opposite sex, which may be a somewhat accurate opinion, but I’d rather not give him more reason to-”

“Hey, hey,” you said soothingly, stopping him from his rant in the hopes that he’d take a breath, “I could really do with my morning coffee, if you’re sure you don’t mind.”

He let out a long overdue breath and, for the first time, he was smiling at you, this small shy smile that felt ridiculously infectious. You smiled back at him as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and willed yourself to pull it together, following him to the back of the line. Even from the back, scarf guy was too attractive for his own good. You rolled your eyes at yourself before he turned back around as you waited in the queue again.

“I’m Spencer, by the way. And you must be-” he ducked his head to read the name on your cup, “Y/N?”

“That’s me,” you said brightly, “You’re sure you don’t have somewhere to be?”

“I always leave myself at least an extra half an hour in case the line’s too long or something, so I’m fine. What about you?”

“A rare day off,” you mused with a smile, “The feeling of having literally nowhere to be is one of my favourites.”

“It is a pretty nice feeling,” Spencer said wistfully, as if he were just guessing that and you frowned.

“You don’t get much of that?” you asked and he tilted his head at you. You shrugged shyly, “I just mean, the way you said it. Didn’t sound like you really knew what that felt like.”

There was that look in his eyes again. The one you thought you might recognise but didn’t want to name, because you’d only become more bashful than you already felt.

“I suppose I don’t. I work for the FBI, in the Behavioural Analysis Unit. It can be...intense.”

“Wow,” you said seriously, looking at him with newfound awe, “That’s amazing. I’m so impressed with everything your team has done. You work under SSA Aaron Hotchner?”

His brow furrowed and he made that little confused face that you were already enamoured with.

“Yeah I do. You’ve heard of us?” he asked, looking a little more wary now, and you realised that most people who said that probably didn’t have the best intentions with the guy. You chuckled as you lifted your cardigan just a little.

“Don’t worry, I’m a cop,” your badge shone from its place on your belt before you let your cardigan hang over it again, “You helped one of my friends from back home with a case a while back. She said you lot were the best and from everything I’ve seen since, she was right.”

His blush was prominent as he stared at his shoes, scuffing them against the floor, but you didn’t grin like you wanted to, not wanting him to think you were teasing him.

“We just come and help where we can,” he mumbled, “Nothing special.”

“You know, Spencer,” you said sincerely, making him look back up at you, “If I had to guess, I’d say you were pretty special.”

He paused, still looking at you. Silence. You worried you might have said the wrong thing.

But then, a grin.

---

“...and that was the moment I fell in love with him,” you said finally, glancing from the people around the table to Spencer beside you who was staring at you with that same look from that day in the coffee shop, which you now knew to be awe and adoration all rolled into one. You smiled at him, leaning further into his side as you squeezed his leg.

“I can’t believe you guys have never told us how you met before,” Garcia sounded like she was caught up in the dreamy romance of it all and you couldn’t help but laugh at her.

“I knew!” Derek cut in with a sly little smirk directed at Spencer, “Only because later in the day I asked pretty boy why he hung up on me.”

“Derek, I don’t think-”

“You know what he told me, Y/N?” Derek continued, ignoring Spencer’s attempts to cut him off as you leaned forward excitedly, “He told me that he’d met, subjectively, the most beautiful girl in the world. That it was love at first sight.”

“That is not what I said-”

“Okay, well maybe not those exact words, but it was words to that effect, right Reid?” he said teasingly and Spencer was blushing, looking down into his lap. You put two fingers under his chin and brought his face to yours.

“Subjectively?” you asked, eyebrows raised and he shook his head.

“He’s got the words wrong, because he’s an idiot,” he directed his last comment with a side eye at Derek that had the whole table laughing, before whispering so only you could hear, “I said objectively, the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Should hope so,” you murmured, grabbing his tie and leaning in to kiss him. You had to pull away quickly when the chorus of ‘aww’s and groans sounded out around the table and reminded you where you were. You chuckled and smoothed down his tie.

“You two kids are going to make each other very happy,” Dave chimed in from the head of the table as you rested your head on Spencer’s shoulder and looked around the group and the soppy smiles on their faces as they stared at you and Spencer. You knew they were happy just to see him happy. Most of them had come up to you privately to have conversations about how good you had been for him. It was all you could want, “To Spencer and Y/N!”

“To Spencer and Y/N!”

Everyone cheered, raising their glasses to you both and you had to fight down a tear or two. Spencer reached for your hand, entwining it in his own and brought it up to his lips, kissing your ring before resting both your hands in his lap as the conversation around the table continued.

[taeken-my-heart]

Revenant Chapter 2

Summary: You’d always been told that when you died that you’d walk into the light towards Heaven. Only problem is, you died and the light never showed up. Now you’re attached to a handsome but grumpy and sleep deprived medical student and neither one of you knows what to do to get you to finally cross over.

Rating: PG15

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Fluff, angst, Ghost!au, MedicalStudent!Namjoon

Word Count: 3501

Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse and one seizure in future chapters

.

.

When Namjoon walked sluggishly into the kitchen the next morning, he looked surprised to see you, shoulders jumping as he spotted you on the couch. “Thought it was a dream?” You asked softly and he flushed.

“Uh, yeah, I did. Sorry.”

“It’s OK, I can understand why you would. This is all rather strange, wouldn’t you say?”

“Strange is definitely an understatement.” He said, walking to the cupboards and pulling down a glass, filling it with water. “I’d offer you something, but I don’t know…”

He looked uncomfortable and you smiled, shaking your head. “I appreciate the thought.”  

He leaned against the countertop, sipping at his drink as he eyed you over the rim of the cup. He looked handsome all puffy faced and tired. His flannel pajama bottoms and plain white t-shirt sagged against his lithe frame and he pushed forward slowly, coming to sit on the couch beside you. 

“I don’t know what to do to help you,” he admitted, “especially since you don’t even remember anything about your death. I wouldn’t even know where to look for your body.” 

“Perhaps I’ve already been buried.” You supplied. 

Namjoon sighed, setting his empty glass on a coaster on the coffee table and leaning back into the cushions of the sofa. “If we’re going to assume that you’re stuck here for some reason, it must be unfinished business, right? For some reason you’re attached to me, so what is it about me that makes me important enough to help?”

“You’re smart?” You shrugged and he looked smug.

“What was that?”

You scoffed, laughing and rolling your eyes. “Don’t get a big head, I’m just saying, you’re becoming a doctor so you must be smart.”

“Ah, that’s not necessarily true.” Namjoon said, sitting up straight, “you should see some of the people in my class.”

“Well…maybe we have connections. Like, maybe you know someone who knows me?”

Namjoon stood, retrieving his laptop from the belly of the loveseat across from the two of you before rejoining you on the couch. “It’s unlikely, but I guess you never know. Still, doesn’t really explain why only I can see you. Why wouldn’t you just appear to someone who could actually help you?”

You shrugged with a sigh, “I don’t know, it’s all conjecture at this point. By the way, you’re up very early this morning, it’s only been like, what? 3 or 4 hours?”

Namjoon smiled, pulling his laptop open and typing in his password. “It was about 5 hours actually. I’ve got clinicals 3 to 4 days a week this semester, it really just depends on the week. On the days that I’ve got clinicals, I’ve got to be at the hospital at 6am.”

You switched your gaze to the clock on the wall. “You’ve got just under an hour to get ready and get there.”

Namjoon nodded, closing his laptop suddenly. “Yeah, it’s only a 10-minute subway ride. I do need to shower and eat, though. I assume you’ll be joining me at the hospital?” He looked back at you from the mouth of the hallway and you shrugged. 

Riding the subway left you with the fuzzy warmth of familiarity; like you’d done it many times before. This wouldn’t truly surprise you, you only wished you could remember. Namjoon was studying his notes, finalizing details in his “care plans” for the day, or at least that’s what you thought he’d called them. 

“I don’t think I’ll have a choice.”

.

.

There weren’t many people on the subway at this hour. A couple of young college students who seemed to be teetering on the edge between drunk and hungover, a business man who was dressed smart in tailored navy blue, and a young mom with a sleeping toddler attached to her shoulder. 

The morning was warming once you’d left the station, a break in the scorching summer heat that you were sure was to come later in the day. The subway station was only a block away from the hospital and you walked along side Namjoon quietly as he continued to work through his plans. 

“This is familiar to me.” You remarked softly, staring up at the off-white walls of the outside of the hospital. Namjoon looked up at you before glancing up in front of him.

“Maybe you lived in the area?” 

“Maybe.” You hummed, following him up the stairs and into the hospital. 

The front reception area was quiet, only a few people waiting and two receptionists busy tapping away at keyboards. You followed Namjoon to the elevators where he pushed the button for the second floor and you frowned over at him.

“Really? The second floor?” You scoffed, “you couldn’t walk up the stairs?”

“It’s not even 6am. I’m tired and don’t want to, so sue me.” He griped as the elevator doors slid closed. 

“So, what is a care plan anyway?” You asked as the elevator began to move. 

Namjoon looked down at the manila folder in his hand. “It’s basically the plan of action I think we should take with a patient in order to further their health and care. It’s something you have to do to pass clinicals, but it also gets you in the right mindset for one day when you go into residency and have to take a more serious role in the health of your patients.”

“Do you already have patients you’re taking care of?” You asked as the elevator dinged and came to a stop. 

Namjoon shook his head, stepping out of the elevator as the doors slid open. “Not in the way you’re thinking. I’m still a student and this is my first year of clinicals so I’m still being heavily guided. Mostly the doctor that’s mentoring me will have me do simple things, or the nurse that is training me will oversee certain procedures that I’m allowed to participate in. It’s a good, hands on experience, but I can’t just take the reins yet, I don’t have enough experience.”

He paused outside a door and turned to look at you before down at the ground. “You can’t come in here.” He mumbled softly, so as not to attract the attention of anyone nearby. 

You glanced at the plaque by the door reading locker room. “I promise to try not to.”

Namjoon entered the locker room and you moved further down the hallway to peruse the papers stuck to the side of a bulletin board. Most of it was medical jargon and conditions you were woefully unfamiliar with, but on the bulletin board to the left there were pictures of the interns for the semester in a cute tribute to the Brady Bunch. You sought out Namjoon’s picture, grinning when you found him towards the right middle, poking his fingers into the dimples in his cheeks with his eyes squished closed tight. He was smiling and looked bashful but happy. It made you feel all warm and funny. 

“I hate that picture.” Namjoon said suddenly from beside you. You turned to look at him, smiling at the blush on his cheeks. 

“No. you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.” He admitted with a chuckle. 

“What now?” You asked, following him as he moved away from the wall and began to walk down the hallway. 

“Now it’s time to go check in with Doctor Bang and get my assignment for the day. There will be a group of us, so it might take a minute.”

You followed after him, his strides long and confident. He was dressed in a nice grey button up and a pair of black slacks that made watching him walk a true pleasure. He was fiddling around with a white coat, adjusting the collar and ID on the breast pocket before sliding it over his arms and shoulders, sadly obscuring your view. 

“What’s a normal day for you like?” You asked as you hurried to keep up with him and he chuckled. The hallway was relatively empty, so there was no risk of him being seen speaking to himself.

“There’s no such thing as “a normal day” in medicine, but basically I come, figure out what part of the hospital I’m going to be in for the day, and then follow the nurse training me around and try to learn and practice whatever I can. You’ll get a feel for it today.”

The two of you pushed through a set of double doors at the end of the hallway, entering into a new, much busier hall. A group of people dressed similarly to Namjoon stood by the nurse’s station and you followed your companion as he made his way towards them, shaking hands with a few as he settled in. 

“Morning Joon.” Someone greeted cheerfully and Namjoon moved towards the smiling man, fist bump as a greeting. “You’re looking surprisingly sleepy this morning.”

“And you’re looking surprisingly chipper. Do you ever have an off day?” Namjoon teased and the man laughed, smile brightening. 

“One time, back in middle school. It was the pits man.” He remarked and Namjoon rolled his eyes with a grin. “Seriously, though, you look really tired. What’s up?”

“Just out late with friends.” Namjoon quietly and you watched as his eyes darted to the set of doors you’d just come through, a pretty young woman around their age walking through and towards them. She offered a shy smile, waving her hand as she came to stand beside your group.

“Good morning Namjoon, Hoseok. I hope you slept well.” She pushed an escaped strand of ebony hair from her forehead and back towards her bun. 

“Good morning Eunae.” The man named Hoseok greeted. Your mind flitted back to the conversation between Namjoon and his friends about the girl he liked and you surveyed her carefully. 

She was very pretty. Dark hair pulled back in a bun, soft pink painted on her lips and eyes bright and open. It was no wonder he was attracted to her. Soft and pretty, it would be unreasonable to say otherwise.

“I slept great.” Hoseok continued, “This guy was up late.”

Namjoon flushed as his friend thrust a thumb in his direction, eyes shooting to look at the pretty young woman as she turned to smile softly at him. “I wasn’t,” he stuttered, “I was out for a couple drinks with friends, though I won’t deny we were definitely up later than we should have been.”

Eunae hummed, bowing her head as her fingers navigated the baby hair by her ears. She glanced up at both Hoseok and Namjoon, “sounds more fun than my night. I watched a medical documentary and then went to bed at 9.”

Like a love sick puppy, Namjoon’s smile turned goofy and lopsided. “That sounds like fun, though.” He countered awkwardly. “That’s my favorite type of night.”

“Nerd.” You scoffed under your breath and you could see his eyes dart towards you from your peripheral. His lips fastened tight, cheeks heating as you turned to look at him with a smile. “I mean that in an endearing way.” You assured. 

Just then, another person walked up to the group and everything quieted as he began his morning welcome. You listened half-heartedly as he assigned tasks for each individual in the group before they started morning rounds. 

Watching Namjoon work was surprisingly interesting. He was a good listener, shadowing his nurse Sasha as she showed him procedures and allowed him to use the skills he’d been learning in classes and during his clinicals. 

You followed him diligently around the hospital as he moved from room to room. Each one a blinding white, though some were filled with flowers and gifts from loved ones. He worked quickly and effectively, striking up conversation with patients and you watched as they relaxed in his care. 

You imagined you would have liked to have had a doctor like him in your lifetime. Attentive, gentle, great bedside manner, and handsome on top of all of that. It made your heart ache to think that had you been alive, maybe you could have even had a shot with a man like Namjoon. Maybe even him.

Smart, competent, and kind; all traits you very much admired. Death was an inconvenient thing, keeping you from the very things you wanted most in life. You couldn’t remember if you’d been dating anyone before you died, but you had the feeling you’d died alone. 

Now you were attached to a man that was an unfortunate reminder of everything you could no longer have. You sighed, moving towards the window and peering outside as said man took the vitals of the patient he was working with and reported back to Sasha. 

The street below had filled with people. It was nearing noon and the lunch rush was in full swing. You stared down at a long line of people outside of a food truck in the square. It looked like Mediterranean. You missed the experience of tasting food; wished you’d thought to savor the flavor of your last meal. 

You hadn’t known then that, that would even be important. Hadn’t known that you should care. What you wouldn’t give to have another day to make it count.

At noon you followed Namjoon down to the cafeteria. He moved towards the lunch line, grabbing a tray and scooting further down, pointing out foods he wanted and waiting for the lunch ladies to supply his needs.

“Why?” He coughed over his shoulder and you chuckled. 

  “Get the mashed potatoes.” You said and he looked at you from the corner of his eye. 

“Because I want to live vicariously through you and I distinctly remember loving potatoes.”

Surprisingly, he called out for potatoes and waited patiently while they were ladled onto his plate. After getting his plate back, he peered through the glass of the bakery display, eyeballing all the different options. He finally reached in to grab a pudding before moving towards the cash register and you trailed happily after him. 

The cafeteria was busy at this time of day, reminding you of the passage of time that no longer affected you. You sat across from Namjoon at an empty table and watched as he eagerly dug into his pot roast. 

“How’s it taste?” You asked, watching as he chewed. 

He looked up at you, eyebrow raised before chewing slower as he pondered.

 “It’s kind of rubbery.” He admitted, “But the seasoning is nice. It’s marinated in something tangy.”

“What about the mashed potatoes?” You queried, staring down at the coveted food and he took a spoon full, eating it with all the enthusiasm of a man who was trying to please their companion. 

“It’s hard to mess up mashed potatoes.” He said, taking another spoonful. “It’s warm and soft and the gravy is amazing.”

“You’re killing me.” You groaned and shrugged at his expression. “You know what I mean.” 

“Do you remember what food tasted like before?” He questioned idly, grabbing his fork and stabbing a broccoli floret. 

“Sort of.” You hummed, staring back at the mashed potatoes. “It’s more of the memories associated that stick out. I remember warmth and how content I’d feel when my stomach was full. I remember really liking to eat.”

Namjoon watched you frown, eyebrows furrowed deep as you glared down at the table top. “Perhaps we should talk about something else.” He offered.

“What’s to talk about?” You huffed, “I don’t remember anything.”

  You sighed, leaning back in your chair and staring out the window beside you. There was a courtyard where most people had congregated to eat. The cafeteria was still busy, but your table was far enough away from crowds that no one was paying attention to an overworked medical student talking to himself. 

You kept your vision trained outside. Birds flit from one tree to another, so animated you could almost hear them. You wondered what it would feel like to fly. Would it feel exhilarating or just natural, as though it was what your body was made to do? 

“Where’d the annoying miss happy go lucky go? I kind of miss her.” Namjoon said, returning to his food but eyeing you carefully.

You smiled, looking back at him. “You’re right. It’s just…do you think it’s possible for a ghost to have an existential crisis? Because I feel like that’s what’s happening here. I just really don’t want to be dead. There’s so much left I want to do. I wish I could get married and buy a house, have children, get a pet… anything but this empty space.”

Namjoon put his fork down, scratching at the skin of his wrist. His watch twisted at the action and you watched him move it back into place. “I wish I had better answers for you, but I just don’t know anything about what you’re going through. I really don’t know how to help. I imagine it’s normal, though, to wish for things to play out differently. The living certainly do it all the time.”

After Namjoon had finished his lunch the two of you made your way back to the second floor. Dr. Bang was waiting for him at the nurse’s station, flipping through the pages of a medical chart and tapping a pen noisily against the countertop.

“True.” You mumbled.

.

.

“Of course.” Namjoon nodded, moving around the doctor and making his way to the left hand side of the hallway. You followed after him, aimless in your steps

  “I need you to do me a favor.” He said, looking up as Namjoon came to stand in front of him. “Can you go grab the vitals of a patient in 213? Her chart is incomplete and she just transferred in last night so I need to update everything.”

. You wished for a fleeting moment that you could do something other than follow him around like a little lost puppy, but then you remembered bitterly you had nothing better to do anyway.

Room 213 was stark white like the rest of them, a window in the corner letting light filter in to brighten the space. Namjoon walked quickly over to the bed before stopping suddenly and you watched the muscles in his back stiffen. 

“Y/N.” He whispered and you moved to stand beside him, looking up at him in question. “It’s you.”

“It’s me?” You queried, before following his gaze down to the bed. 

Like a dream quickly turned nightmare, you stared down at yourself, bruised and broken in a hospital bed. Your face was mildly puffy, head wrapped in bandages but still easily identifiable. 

Your head spun with unanswered questions. What had happened? How could you not remember any of this? Why was your body here and why couldn’t you remember the details? You felt like you might vomit as you rounded the side of the bed to examine yourself. “What’s wrong with me?” You whispered and Namjoon reached out to grab your medical chart, flipping through pages.

You heard him, but it didn’t make sense. There was your body right there…but why weren’t you in it? “So…I’m not dead?” You stuttered woodenly. 

  “Bleeding to the brain, perforated lung, broken femur and pelvis…you’re in a medically induced coma.” 

Namjoon moved towards your body, reaching his hand out to touch your forearm. You jumped at the contact, like a spark to the system. He looked your way, watching your reaction before pulling his stethoscope from around his neck and beginning to silently take your vitals. 

After scribbling some things down on the chart, he left the room suddenly and you rushed after him as he made his way to the doctor, handing over the medical chart mechanically. “What happened to her?” He asked.

Dr. Bang paused to look over at him, eyebrows furrowing. “Who?”

“The patient. The woman in room 213.” Namjoon supplied. 

Dr. Bang hummed, looking back down at his medical chart and shrugging. “You know we don’t get a ton of information about that stuff, but from what I understand, it was a domestic violence case. Scumbag nearly killed her.”

He scribbled a few notes in the chart before handing it back to Namjoon and walking in the other direction. You followed Namjoon back to your room, limbs heavy from shock. How had something like this slipped from your mind? How could you honestly remember nothing?

Namjoon slipped the chart back into the rest at the end of your bed, watching you moved towards the head. 

It was strange looking into your face from the outside; like looking at a stranger. It was clear some time had passed since most of the bruising had healed but it was all alien in its unfamiliarity. 

“I’m sorry.” Namjoon whispered.

You could barely hear him over the roar in your ears. The room was hazy from the light filtering in through the windows, highlighting small specks of dust floating. 

Dr. Bang said it was a case of domestic violence. Your only question now was who had put you in here?

.

.

Thank you so much for reading! I’m sorry it’s shorter than normal, but there’s been so much going on the last few months and I didn’t want to have you guys wait any longer. 

I hope you enjoyed and I’d love to hear what you think!

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Copyright © 2019 by Taeken-My-Heart. All rights reserved

[litwitlady]

17 from the kissing prompt list 🥰🥰🥰

My hand slipped and things got smutty.

Stealing the amplifier was a stupid decision. They only realize this once the security alarms start blaring – Caulfield replaying in both their minds.

‘Is there another way out?’ Michael asks, cracking the door open just enough to survey the mansion’s upstairs hallway.

Alex is urgently pounding away at the computer’s keyboard. ‘There are two windows we could climb out of. My leg complicates matters, but your telekinesis combined with the amplifier should provide a solution. Just give me another second to recode the alarm system.’

Michael has no clue what Alex is up to, but he hears footsteps quickly approaching. Tonight, was only supposed to be a reconnaissance mission. Tuxedos and a fancy party. Disgusting rich people hors d'oeuvres. Simpering small talk and maybe a dance or two with his soon-to-be-again boyfriend.

But the amplifier had practically pulled Michael up that palatial staircase. Calling to him over and over.  And he hadn’t been strong enough to resist. Which was frightening. So, he’d snuck away from Alex. It’s not the last bad idea he’ll have tonight.

He sees a pack of armed men turn the corner in their direction, shuts the door, and rounds the desk to where Alex is working. Michael pushes the desk chair back and pulls Alex up. He plops his own ass directly on the keyboard and tosses his tuxedo jacket behind him. Alex is looking at him like he’s insane but that’s okay. He removes Alex’s jacket roughly, untucks his shirt, tousles his hair, and unknots his bowtie. Just as the door slams open, Michael’s fists wrap around the bowtie, yanking Alex down to meet his mouth.

Three things happen immediately. A gunshot rings out, Michael’s tongue touches Alex’s for the first time in over a year, and a woman screams. And then another. And another. Until the entire party seems to be wailing in fear. That’s when he hears the barking.

Michael reacts to all three things at once. He uses his telekinesis to divert the bullet, while sliding his hands down to Alex’s ass and pressing them closer together. He concentrates his ears on what’s happening in the ballroom beneath them. Several of the goons abandon them to seek out the chaos downstairs.      

Just as he feels Alex’s cock start to grow hard against this stomach, one of the two remaining black-suited men jerks Alex from his grip. ‘What are you doing in here?’

Michael smirks down at Alex’s crotch. ‘I was trying to get laid.’

‘You can’t be in here.’ The goon grabs Michael’s arm firmly and pulls him off the desk. They start to walk Alex and Michael out of the office. But Michael has other ideas. He winks back at Alex and as soon as the two goons are close enough, he bashes their heads together with his powers. They crumple to the floor and Michael grabs Alex’s hand.

It’s time to go.

He lets Alex take the lead and set the pace. They scramble into a back bedroom that overlooks the porch overhang. Opening the window, Alex motions for Michael to crawl out first. He watches Michael drop down off the roof and onto the perfectly manicured lawn below. Michael slides his hand into his pocket, palming the amplifier, and lowers Alex down. The amplifier means he doesn’t feel the least bit drained. That’s good to know.

The partygoers inside are still screaming. Michael notices a tiny smile on Alex’s face. ‘Did you do that?’

He nods. ‘The owner is a dog fighter. In the schematics, there was a clearly labelled room of dog runs and cages. The cage locks are all electronic, so I just unlocked them.’ He shrugs like that’s no big deal. ‘Actually, I unlocked every lock in the house. Because I’d noticed that all the doors have handles instead of knobs. So, I had to hope the dogs were smart enough to jump up and open doors. Looks like they were.’

Michael stares at Alex like he’s a marvel. ‘You’re so hot.’

Alex grins. But then they hear what sounds like a small army running their way and dash towards the woods behind the property.

The moon is large and bright, offering them very little cover. They go as deeply into the woods as they dare, find the largest tree they’ve both ever seen, and duck behind it. The sounds of men shouting are far enough away to give them a chance to catch their breaths.

Maybe it’s the moon. Maybe it’s just the way the moon looks on Alex. But Michael gets a bad idea and doesn’t care to stop himself. He elbows Alex against the tree and drops to his knees.

‘Guerin, what are you doing? You can’t be serious.’ Alex looks back over his shoulder, but Michael notes how he doesn’t push him away.

Michael unzips Alex and pulls his still semi-hard cock from his tuxedo pants.

‘Guerin? Jesus.’ He tries a half-hearted effort at shoving Michael away. But loses all coherent thought and speech the moment Michael’s warm, wet mouth wraps around his cock.

Because the truth is, Alex has wanted this for a long, long time. He and Michael have been playing at friends for months now. And, at least for Alex, it’s not working anymore. He doesn’t want to be friends. Not just friends, anyway.

He’s trying to keep his ear on the trouble happening back at the house, but he makes the mistake of glancing down at Michael. The sharp moonlight has shadowed his hollowed cheeks and the slick sounds his mouth makes as he slides up and down his cock are almost enough to make Alex come on sight.

Alex reaches his hand down and weaves his fingers through Michael’s curls. Gently massaging his scalp, never pushing. Even though the urge is certainly there. And when Michael reaches up and wraps his calloused fingers around the base of Alex’s cock, he moans so loudly he’s sure they’ll be discovered. But the blood pounding in his head is too deafening to hear around and so he just says a silent prayer instead.

Michael’s hand begins to pump up to meet his mouth. The exact rhythm he knows drives Alex wild. He’s so close to fucking Michael’s face – can feel his hips jerk the slightest bit forward. But Michael must notice because he tongues Alex’s slit for the first time and his knees buckle.

Alex has started to whimper. Michael reaches up with his left hand to caress Alex’s hip and hold him steady. He begins to take him in deeper, the head of Alex’s cock glancing just off the back of his throat, testing his gag reflex.

The sound of heavy footballs echo through the trees. Alex beings panic whispering Michael’s name. But Michael doesn’t stop. Instead, he gives Alex’s hip two quick squeezes. And Alex recognizes the signal immediately. Michael reaches around with both hands to grab hold of Alex’s ass, pushing himself up on his knees a little higher. Alex braces himself against Michael’s shoulder and begins to fuck Michael’s mouth slowly, cock solidly hitting the back of his throat with every thrust. He pumps his hips over and over, Michael taking every inch of him. Within a minute, Alex feels his balls tighten and then he’s coming down the back of Michael’s throat. Biting down hard on his bottom lip to keep from screaming. Tasting blood.

Michael zips Alex up and stands, sloppily kissing him. Giving Alex the chance to recover enough to keep moving. But as they turn to scramble away, Michael gets another idea.

He stops and pulls out the amplifier. Closes his eyes and stretches out his mind. Like Isobel has explained to him. And he sees them. All the security force and the other partygoers. Their minds like glowing fireflies. He concentrates, begins to sweat. Alex watches, concerned. But when Michael reopens his eyes, he’s smiling. ‘Let’s go home.’

Alex doesn’t know what he did, but he trusts Michael. So, they walk straight out of the woods with not a care in the world. The black-suited goons are all standing around trying to regroup. They don’t spare the two of them so much as a wayward glance. Alex thinks he overhears one of them say that a little green alien has been spotted in the basement. The goons take off running. Michael laughs.

Alex looks at him like he’s a marvel. ‘You’re so hot.’

They climb into their rented Porsche and Michael takes a moment to enjoy the vision before him. Alex’s cheeks are flushed, his hair a gorgeous mess, eyes bright and shining in the moonlight. ‘God, we always fuck so pretty.’ He twines their fingers together, leans across and kisses Alex soundly on his perfect mouth.

Alex giggles, adrenaline still coursing through his body. ‘We need to go home.’

‘Yeah?’ Michael starts the engine and turns the car onto the road.

Alex nods. ‘And drive fast, Michael. I’ve got a favor to return. And the night’s not getting any younger.’

[queerchoicesblog]

The Corpse Bride - A Sapphic Rewriting (2/2)

I cannot believe this is the only decent screenshot where both the ladies are present!

Anyway, here is the second and last part of my sapphic rewriting of Tim Burton’s The Corpse Bride: it turned out a bit longer than I first thought but I hope you enjoy it!

If you do, please consider reblogging and/or spreading the word: it’s so hard being a writer on tumblr... 🙏

I also remind you the amazing fanart by @may12324​ (here & here) and the AO3 Sapphic Emily/Victoria fanfics.

Tagging @gay-fandom-menace​ for the last update!

________________________

As days passed, Emily went above and beyond to show her spouse the hidden beauty of the Land of the Dead and she eventually succeeded. Victoria looked less frightened of the residents living in the shadows and even accepted to attend the welcome party in her honour, where she apologised to the general for stealing his saber. It was almost as if she...forgot where she was or no longer cared about the oddity of the place, Emily noticed, looking her laughing at one of Bonejangles' mots d'esprit. She also realised that she enjoyed the time spent with her more than she could have foreseen. Victoria was always shy and almost regal in her poise but there were moments when Emily would say something funny and she would laugh, a hearty gracious laughter, covering her mouth with a hand. Or when she sighted contently petting a purring Miles. One day, returning from a walk up the hill, they found the pub deserted and decided to head inside. Emily produced herself in her best bartender impression that made her spouse giggle, and ventured behind the counter to fix herself a drink while her companion took a seat on a stool. "How many days have passed since I came here? It's so hard to have a perception of time down here..."

Emily turned, taking a sip of red wine. Victoria looked suddenly lost in her own thoughts. "I don't know, sweetheart...a week maybe? Why?" "Oh nothing" Victoria laughed weakly, shaking her head. "I was just wondering where Victor is now. If he's alright" "Who's Victor? Your brother?" the corpse bride asked, excited at the idea of learning more about her family. "Oh no! He's my fiancé...even if it sounds a bit weird calling him so, after meeting him the other day for the first time. I was looking for him in the woods when I stumbled into you" An unknown feeling spread a sudden cold inside Emily. She didn't know why but she felt suddenly less cheerful after that revelation. She heard herself asking Victoria to tell her more about him and that's how she learnt he was from a fish merchants family, the Van Dort - or the nouveaux riches as the Everglot called them with evident displeasure for their non-aristocratic roots-; his dark eyes and shy manners, his endearing clumsiness. He was also a formidable pianist, she added. "I can play the piano too! What music do you like?" Emily exclaimed, without thinking and taking Victoria's hands in hers. She guided her towards the instrument on the opposite side of the room and they both take a seat on the old dusty bench. Victoria giggled and threw her a curious look. "Something dreamy and nostalgic?" Emily asked, starting to play a solemn tune that caught her spouse's attention. Then, after a while and with a sudden yet gracious key change, she added, flashing a conspiratorial smile. "...or maybe something a bit more lively and cheerful?" When she started singing a popular ballad, Victoria gaped in surprise. Now she truly understood why her undead bride's fame was renewed for miles when she was alive: not only her features still bore traces of a rare beauty that surely won the hearts of hundreds suitors but also she had the voice of an angel. Her fingertips ran over the keyboard with confidence while her voice enchanted her with its supreme harmony. An angel of music, Victoria thought, contemplating her. Out of the blue, just before the grand finale, Emily's skeleton hand parted from the rest of her body and performed a joyous trill on the keyboard before running up Victoria's arm and shoulder. She was used to it going its own way from time to time but it kind of embarrassed her that it happened in front of her spouse. She giggled nervously. "Pardon my enthusiasm" To her great surprise, the Everglot girl wasn't horrified by what happened. She gave the hand an amused look and took her in her own. Then, she turned towards Emily and helped her placing it back at the end of her arm. The bride was about to mutter a thank you when she spoke. "I like your enthusiasm" When Emily met her gaze there was a new shade of red on the girl's cheeks and a bashful smile on her lips. The cold feeling that troubled her immediately vanished, replaced by a warmth that she hadn't felt since joining the Land of the Dead. Maybe in her whole life. Too soon Victoria diverted her dark eyes. "Why don't we play a duet?" Emily suggested. If possible, Miss Everglot blushed even more. "I don't play the piano" "Oh" Emily was genuinely surprised. "I'm sorry, I just thought-" "No, it's fine! It's just..." Victoria took a deep sigh. "Mother says music is improper for a young lady. Too passionate...so she never let me lay a finger on our piano" "Am I being...improper? My most sincere apologies, your ladyship" Victoria turned to see Emily offering a teasing smile. The grim mood caused by the mention of Mother instantly melted away and she found herself laughing. "Oh no, you played splendidly! It was truly lovely, Emily" Victoria said, serious again. "It's just Mother, she...well, I suppose you can say she never approves of anything" Emily nodded understandingly. A shadow crossed her face. "Do you think she would have approved of me? The two girls shared a long grim look, leaving the answer they both knew in their heart lingering in the air, unspoken. "You're lucky you'll never have to meet her" Victoria sighed, losing herself in her own thoughts and memories again. "The day I...found you and disappeared she came finding me before the rehearsals of the wedding. She only wanted to check if my corset was laced properly. And she made fun of my being a little nervous. She told me that it was nonsense because marriage is just a partnership, a little tit-for-tat" After a moment, she continued. "Since I was a child I've dreamt of my wedding day. I always hoped to find someone I was deeply in love with. Someone to spend the rest of my life with. Silly, isn't it?" The smile on her lips was so pained that Emily felt the irresistible urge to place a hand over hers. The sudden gesture surprised Victoria who blinked her bid dark eyes. "I am just the same" the bride whispered, softly. "And I can teach you how to play the piano, if you like? So that we can play duets, what do you say?" Victoria considered for a moment then the doleful look in her eyes left room to a tiny little sparkle and she nodded enthusiastically, like a little girl. Content, Emily scooted closer so that shoulders brushed against each other and gently placed her hands over hers. Now she felt it too, the sparkle that brightened Victoria's face. "Loosen up yours shoulder and press whatever button you like. That's it! Now another, and that black one too...see how they combine together?" The impromptu lesson kept going until someone cleared his throat. Emily turned to see an ancient skeleton standing on the threshold soon followed by Miles. "Elder Gutknecht, what a lovely surprise! And welcome back, Miles: enjoyed your galavanting?" She stood and guided Victoria towards the newcomer. "Dear Elder, have you met my wife?" the bride asked with cheerful pride. "This is Victoria of the Land of the Living. Victoria, this is Elder Gutknecht, the most ancient spirit in our midst and resident Sage: ask him anything, he knows it!" Victoria gave the skeleton a gracious curtsy. "Enchanted, Elder Gutknecht" "Ah, so this is the lucky one, huh, Emily?" the old Sage inquired, jostling a heavy-looking tome in his arms. "Delighted to make your acquaintance Miss-" "Victoria, Victoria Everglot" "Miss Victoria Everglot!" he flashed an unreadable smile before addressing the corpse bride. "I was wondering if I could have a word with you, Emily" "Sure, speak away" "In private, actually...if you don't mind" Emily looked a bit surprised but obliged. She placed one hand on her spouse's shoulder before taking her leave. "Keep familiarising yourself with the instrument, my darling. I'll be back before you know it. And Miles, be a good boy: do not jump on the keyboard!" That being said, after one last quick smile to both, she followed the Elder down in the cellar. She couldn't possibly understand what he wanted to discuss with her but she knew you never question a Sage. So she stood there, patiently waiting for he to talk. When they were alone, she perceived a sense of unease in the air. When he finally resolved himself to speak, Elder Gutknecht's face looked troubled. "I am afraid I am a messenger of grim news, my dear girl" "What grim news? I don't understand, Elder" Emily exclaimed, lost and a little anxious. The old skeleton took a deep sigh and continued. It seemed as if words costed him a great effort. "According to the vows you shared, your union is valid..." he briefly consulted the ancient tome in his hands. "'until death do you apart', isn't it?" "Yes, so what, Elder?" He closed the book and gave her a sad look. "Death has already parted you, dear Emily" It took a moment to the bride to process the meaning of his words: her mind resisted, refused to acknowledge it. She heard the words he said after while her heart ached in her chest: she was dead, Miss Everglot was living. The only way to make this marriage valid was asking Victoria to drink the "Wine of Ages", a poisoned goblet, so that she could join her in death. "No...no...there must be other ways!" Emily exclaimed, begged, walking frantically up and down. When the Elder grimly confirmed that no, sadly there was no other way, she stopped and gave him a long heartbroken look. "I could never ask her that...to give up her life for me. I...would never ask her that" she whispered, her voice cracking. Tears welled her eyes as she felt like she had lost Victoria for good. She turned and gave the Elder her shoulders, covering her face in a desperate attempt to protect her sorrow from his eyes. She had lost her love once again. "I'm sorry, may I interrupt?" She immediately followed the voice: Victoria was standing on the threshold, politely clearing her throat. She threw quick glances at both of them as a gaping Elder gestured to join them. "I'm sorry, I was just passing by and I overheard your conversation..." Emily felt another pang of sadness making her bones ache: what must Victoria think of her now? She must feel so betrayed and outraged... "Victoria, I am so incredibly sorry, please believe me I didn't know anything about this" she said, rushing to her side and placing a trembling hand on her cheek. She felt her knees getting far too weak when the Everglot girl looked at her with her big dark eyes. "But just know that I...I release you from those vows, I would never ask you-" To her surprise, she interrupted her. "I do believe you, Emily" she smiled weakly, taking her skeletal hand into hers. "And I appreciate what you said to the Elder here" The bride gave her a painful smile, caressing her cheek. "It's the least I could do after causing all this trouble, darl-" "But I'll do it" Emily froze. "What?" "I'll do it" Victoria repeated. "I'll drink the Wine of Ages and join you in death. I only have one last favour to ask" Her eyes wandered between the Elder and her spouse. "Can I go back...Upstairs before the wedding and the ritual?" The permission was given and she and Emily went back to the woods where they first met. It wasn't night yet but the moon already shone bright in the sky. Emily was mesmerised: she took a few steps and contemplate the big almost full moon for a while. "I've spent so long in the darkness, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is." she said at last, turning towards Victoria. She outstretched her arms and when the girl took her hands into hers, she guided her into a gracious slow dance around the woods. The Everglot girl had never seen someone dancing like her: it came so easy to her, as if every step, every move, every spin wasn't just sheer perfection but a second skin to her. She laughed softly when the bride ended the dance with a curtesy, rising her hand to her lips. "One day you'll have me to share some of your dancing teaching with me" "Anytime, sweetheart" "I'll go say my goodbyes now if you-" "Mais biensure, go ahead! I will wait for you here, in this gorgeous moonlight" Victoria flashed her a quick smile and was about to take her leave when Emily gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Victoria, just know that if you ever change your mind about the ritual, I...you can always say no, and I will never judge you or...seek vengeance because of that, you understand?" Victoria nodded, her slightly childish way of nodding. "I'll be back before you know it!" And she disappeared into the woods, headed towards the city. Emily's eyes followed her until she lost sight of her and sat on a fallen tree trunk, sighing contently. But there was no quiet time for her: her right eye started itching until it popped out into her lap to reveal...petty Waggot. "I've heard this already!" the creature muttered angrily. "And i know a lie when I hear it!" Emily rolled her left eye and retrieved the other. "Hello to you too, Waggot! I suggest you to calm down and relax: as much as I appreciate your concern, she will be back" "But of course" he signed, sardonic. "Oh hush you! If you have nothing nice to say, keep quiet and let me enjoy the moonlight for once" Waggot certainly knew how to be exasperating and he was certainly wrong, Emily thought. So she waited and waited until the unpleasant feeling of a deja bu started tormenting her from a corner of her mind. What if petty Waggot was right this time? Troubled and with a growing concern gnawing her, she headed towards the edge of the forest, looking for Victoria. She didn't have to search for long but the scene she found made her hide behind a tree. The girl was standing not far away, on the bridge by the river, but...she wasn't alone. She was hugging a boy around her age with dark hair and eyes that Emily immediately recognised as Victor. When the two parted and kept chatting, the bride rested her back against a tree to avoid getting caught. Emily didn't know what to think, what to make of it. The sudden violent pang of jealousy was soon replaced by a sense of emptiness and pain. What a fool she had been to think someone like Victoria could reciprocate her feelings for her...'Little Miss Living' as Waggot called her. How could she compared to Victor who was still breathing and had a beating heart in his chest just like Victoria? If she touched a burning candle, she would feel no pain, just like if you would cut her with a knife. She wouldn't burn nor bleed like them. Yet, even if her heart wasn't pumping blood in her veins, she could distinctly feel it aching and breaking at the sight of that embrace. With an excruciating urge of crying, she took another look from her hiding spot. This time she made out some words of their conversation. "Do you remember everything?" her spouse was saying. "Find Hildegarde, she knows what to do and-" "And meet you at the church, got it" "Excellent! And Victor..." she took his hand into hers. "You have no idea how important this is for me" "But are you sure? I mean, if you-" "I am, Victor. As I've never been before" Then, she looked over her shoulder and spotted Emily in the woods. Emily wanted to hide but the girl smiled and waved at her. To her surprise even the boy did so, looking terrified, his hand shaking. "I must go now but we have a deal, right? See you, Victor!" With one last hug to an astonished Victor, the Everglot girl joined Emily again and wrapped her arm around hers and walked back to the centre of the woods. She couldn't help but notice that the corpse bride was awfully quiet all the way down. The wedding was set for the following night. The announcement spread a contagious wave of excitement among the residents of the Land of the Dead: everyone wanted to contribute to the brides' special day. It had been long since they last attended a joyful event. So Bonejangles, self-elected best man for the ceremony, took the stage to rehearse his speech, the maitre head gave instructions to the imperturbable bartender while tailors ran up and downs the streets offering to fix the brides' dresses and bakers argued over how to bake the most decadent wedding cake. When time came, an overjoyed crowd marched towards the church, Elder Gutknecht walking upfront with the brides in tow. Needless to say, it was enough to make the old arrogant pastor ran away in his nightgown. Once inside, they took their seat, chatting excitedly. Emily threw Victoria a smile and noticed that her spouse looked nervous now, constantly checking over her shoulders. Her hear ached again. Everyone only went quiet when the Elder asked for silence. "Dearly beloved... and departed..." he started, rather proud of his role of officiant when the doors opened again and he rolled his eyes at the late guests. Emily turned, followed by the rest of the crowd, to see a boy and an old lady with tired, glassy eyes standing - and looking around trying and failing to suppress a shudder - at the end of the aisle. The boy was holding a pile of boxes that for a moment hid his face but no mistake: it was Victor. His eyes found the brides and he offered the best smile he could manage in the general surprise. "Sorry for the interruption, we-we are probably a bit late but we...we brought the dress" Emily, who was bracing herself for the last of another betrayal, couldn't believe her hears. She looked back at Victoria lost, confused. The girl only smiled, her jaw finally relaxing. She wasn't nervous because Victor was late to stop the ceremony and 'save her' but because...Victor was late with her dress? "I'm sorry I kept this from you, Emily...I hope you don't mind if I asked Victor and my maid to join us and bring me the wedding dress Ma ordered. They are the closest I have in this world to friends and the dress was already there so I thought..." she blushed imperceptibly, shrugging. "I thought that I'll only marry once, better do it properly, if you don't mind waiting a little longer" "Of course, dear" Emily whispered, touched, taking her hands into hers. As a lively chatting started again, Victoria headed to the adjacent room with the old lady, who pushed Victor out as soon as she grabbed the last box, eliciting a general round of laughter. Emily threw a sympathetic look to Victor, who was adjusting his tie in a desperate attempt to compose himself. He cleared his throat and asked who was the maid of honor. "Best man here, buddy!" Bonejangles waved from the first row. The Van Dort boy smiled quickly at Emily and approached him. He picked a wedding ring out of his pocket and handed it to him. He was about to leave when the skeleton grabbed his arm and pulled him into a half-hug, inviting to assist to the ceremony with all of them. Victoria's friends were their friends too, he said and the crowd murmured in approval. After what seemed like an eternity to Emily's sentimental heart, the doors of the adjacent room opened and the old woman appeared first, headed towards one the bench after an awkward curtsy. Then...she appeared, and it almost seemed to the corpse bride that her heart started beating again. It wasn't possible but the sight in front of her brought her an happiness so vivid she couldn't help but feel...alive again. The dress Mrs Everglot picked was quite simple and a bit old-fashioned, with little to no decors and high collar. It didn't enhance the beauty of her daughter but Emily thought that Victoria's grace needed no enhancement : she was a vision, walking solemnly back to the altar, a shy smile on her lips and a bouquet of violets in her hands. While the ceremony started at last and they began sharing their vows, Emily thought back at all the moments they shared together. The comforting warmth of Victoria's living body against hers when she fell asleep on her shoulders and the dimples on her cheeks when she laughed at a joke. The somber look in her eyes when she told her about her unhappy life with her family and the urgency she felt of holding her in her arms back then. Or their non-duet at the piano, their dance in the moonlight... So when time come and Victoria held and goblet of Wine of Ages and recited "Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine" She stopped her before she could bring the poison to her lips. "No" she cut her short. "But Emily..." Now Victoria was the one lost in the plot. Emily placed the goblet back on the altar and gave her a sad smile filled. "I was a girl like you once. Then life was taken from me. I love you, Victoria, and I will never do the same to you. I will never take your life. We only live once and you...deserve to live yours to the fullest" Out of the blue, the church doors slammed open again and a man the Everglot girl recognised as the mysterious man attending the rehearsals of her wedding as if he owned the whole place walked in. He looked straight at her with a charming yet vaguely menacing grin. He profused himself in a speech about how relieved he was to find her at last, she was sent to look for her by her family, devastated by her sudden disappearance. When he was close enough, he gallantly offered her a hand, asking to follow him. His courtesy didn't last long though: when Victoria, shocked by his complete disregard for the surroundings, refused, he grabbed her arm and made to pull her away. Murmurs raised from the audience and Victor raised to his feet. "Leave me! You have no right to come her and force me to follow you" Victoria protested, dropping her bouquet. "As a matter of fact, I do have, darling" he smirked, an ominous wolfish grin. "I humbly asked for your hand in marriage if I managed to find the lost girl, and guess what Mom and Dad said after that disastrous engagement? So that makes you my fiancée, dear Victoria" My fiancée...my fiancée... The world echoed in Emily's mind until a sudden memory hit her. The foggy night, the oak tree, the menacing gleam of the rapier. "Let her go now, you monster" she shouted, cold fury simmering in her bones. "Mind your business" he hissed back, pulling Victoria's arm again but Emily took hold of his own in a steely grip. "I say let her go now and get out" He met her gaze with his face distorted in anger. He didn't recognise her at first but when he did, his face tensed up in fear and horror as he back-pedalled, setting the Everglot girl free. "It can't be..." "My thoughts precisely...when you left me to die and ran away with my gold" Emily now advanced threateningly in his direction as a loud gasp resound through the curch. Fury and panic ruled his moves as he promptly unsheathed his rapier and thrusted it into the bride's ribcage only to find out that he had no luck this time. An ominous smile crossed her face as she dropped her own bouquet and exclaimed: "General? Your saber" "With great pleasure, Emily" Nobody knew whether the bride was skilled in sword fighting but the duel that followed was not for the faint of heart. Emily's stabs were raw, unrefined but her thirst for vengeance made up for it; also her previous knowledge of Lord Barkis came in handy as he wasn't to be trusted with a sword. He fought as a scoundrel now that he dropped the mask and scoundrels of his sort, with no honour nor empathy, never fight fairly. Panic and turmoil erupted among the guests. Suddenly, Victoria's voice resounded over the clashing of the swords. "Victor, run, go find the guards and expose Lord Barkis! And you, down there lock the doors!" The boy looked confused for a moment but recovered soon and sprinted away into the night while the bartender and another skeleton locked the doors behind him . Lord Barkis didn't even notice him, blocking another hit. "Expose me? And for what, milady?" he laughed, an hideous humourless laughter. "I am inclined to believe the guards will consider the accusations seriously once they find you armed on a crime scene" the Evetglot girl explained, quietly. "What crime scene? I am the one being attacked here!" "Get out, you monster, I said!" Emily roared. Then, a sudden collective gasp from the attending guests, drove the attention back to the other side of the aisle. Even the fighting stopped. Victoria was standing by the altar, steely determination in her gaze and the goblet in her right hand. Her gaze found the corpse bride again and she lifted her left hand. "With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for" she continued, raising the goblet. "I will be your wine." Emily cried out an impotent "no!" as the girl drowned the poisoned goblet in one huge gulp, wincing afterwards. The corpse bride dropped the saber, and held her dress as she ran as quickly as her feet could take her to the altar. Stubbornly, Victoris grabbed a candle and raise it but her hands started shaking, just like her voice. "With this candle, I will light ...your way...in...darkness." The candlestick fell to the marble ground just as Emily rushed to held her trembling figure and prevent her to fall too. Victoria was awfully pale and abandoned herself into her arms like a dead weight, unable to sustain herself anymore. Her breathing was feeble, a pained whisper when she continued. "With this...ring, I...ask you...to be...mine." Emily desperatly called her name but her eyes lost her usual gleam and the body in her arms became too cold and still for a living. The Wine of Ages truly was deadly. Overwhelmed by the heartbreak, Emily cradled the lifeless body tenderly while tears rimmed her face. Foolish, foolish Victoria. Her despair was met by a respectful silence, to honour her loss. Or so she thought until someone cleared their throat and offered placed a hand over her shoulder. "Emily, I think this is when the officiant says 'You may now kiss the bride'" a familiar voice said. Not just a familiar voice. Her voice. Emily opened her eyes and turned her head. Victoria - or her corpse - was standing at her side, smiling encouragely. Emily stood without hesitation as if drawn to her by an irresistible force. When they faced each other, she reached for her hands. "I thought I lost you" Victoria raised cold fingertips to her cheek. "You never will, my love" When they lips touched, a light so bright emanated from their embracing bodies, swallowing them completely till they disappeared into a shower of butterflies. What follows is matter of legends and stories told by the fireplace. After the wedding, the guards stormed into the now empty church only to find the corpse of Miss Everglot in a wedding dress and Lord Barkis on the verge on insanity. He claimed he was innocent but he sounded rather hysterical. According to the local chronicles, his arrest lead to an investigation that uncovered a series of murders of local wealthy heiresses in the villages he stopped by. Sentenced guilty and not sane in his head, he ended his days in an asylum, without a penny and forgotten by the world. As for the other characters of the story... Apparently, that eventful night the curse of the corpse bride was broken as she found the true love who set her free. Victor Van Dort left the village is search of better fortune as a pianist. The dawn of his departure, a pair of butterflies, a blue and a lilac one, graciously waltzed inside his room, flying around him; he likes to think they were the brides saying adieu and wishing him a bright new life. The woods are now less ominous: kids play by the river again and nobody fears venturing there, even after dark. However, some claims that the forest is still somehow haunted. The baker's son swears that if you go by the oak tree during full moon, you would see two female spirits dancing a waltz in the moonlight. They are not spooky: on the contrary, quite a joy for the eyes. And one of them looks just like Miss Victoria Everglot.

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

To My Soul

Summary: You’ve taken to walking when insomnia strikes. The bunker definitely offers enough space to do so. Some nights you don’t even walk the same hallways twice. Dean and Sam have their own means of dealing with their occasional insomnia. Every now and then, your paths cross.

Inspired by Van Morrison’s “And It Stoned Me”

Warnings: Some loneliness. This story is *soft*, there’s not much to warn about.

Author’s Note: Super thanks to @there-must-be-a-lock​ for the AMAZING image and mega suggestions. You really shaped this story. @glassjacket​, thank you for the relocations and the flails. I was nervous about my first Sam story. 

Word Count:1525

ItMightHaveBeenintentional’s Masterlist

To My Soul

Walking is lonely and cold tonight. 

Before you’d moved into the bunker, you used to open a window and listen to the crickets to calm your mind on the nights when you couldn’t sleep. It’s been several months now; the Winchesters have made every effort to help you settle in, but nights underground are long and far too quiet. 

You’ve taken to walking when insomnia strikes. The bunker definitely offers enough space to do so. Some nights you don’t even walk the same hallways twice. 

Dean and Sam have their own means of dealing with their occasional insomnia. Dean watches movies, listens to music, drinks, sometimes even punches things. You’ve joined him for a few of the less violent pastimes, at his invitation. You would never have intruded on your own, but he saw you pacing in the hallway and called out. Dean is easy to spend time with, and in the months you’ve known the Winchesters, you’ve grown more comfortable with him than any other person, save one.

Judging by the lack of sound effects from Dean’s room, the elder Winchester seems to be enjoying a rare night of easy slumber.

Sam has his own sleepless nights, and he resorts to fairly Sam-typical activities to occupy his mind. He does occasionally watch movies, mostly documentaries, but mostly he reads. 

Sam reads so much, so often, that the library seems odd without him seated at the table, several volumes spread out around him, his notebook and laptop fighting for space on the crowded surface. He always has suggestions for books from the library, subjects you would never have considered but somehow never fail to interest you. Sometimes you curl up in a chair with a warm drink, letting the sounds of his scratching pencil or tapping keyboard mesmerize you.

Either Winchester would be more than welcome tonight, but at some point during your time in their bunker, you’ve come to anticipate your quiet nights with Sam. Soothing and quietly welcoming, Sam’s presence helps you sleep better than a full day of hard labor.

You love watching Sam work with his hands, any task really, but especially writing in his notebooks. His hand dwarfs any writing utensil he uses, and yet his fingers curve and glide so elegantly across the pages. He doesn’t mind you watching, just keeps at his research, though you’ve noticed lately that he’s smiling more than he used to.

Seems like it to you, anyway. 

The library is depressingly empty tonight, feeling far too open and drafty without its most frequent inhabitant. You chafe at your arms, trying to buff some heat into your goose-bumped skin, and frown at the polished table top. 

Absent of its typical stacks of dusty tomes and scribbled notes, the table seems almost superfluous. But it isn’t the table or even the library itself that drew you here on your nighttime stroll. You realize with a start that you’ve begun to take Sam’s occupancy of the library for granted, counting on the comfort of his welcoming smile and quiet inclusion.

Something to consider, you think, momentarily at a loss. Another draft whispers past, and you shiver.

Maybe he managed to find some peace tonight. Never one to begrudge someone a good night’s sleep, you decide to try an old trick and head towards the kitchen, running through the options of hot drinks in your restless mind.

Soft music drifts from the open kitchen doorway, floating out of the dimly lit room. The golden light of a small lamp makes the industrial room seem softer, more intimate than its usual stark appearance. Sam sits at the kitchen table, hands wrapped around a mug, nodding vaguely in time to Van Morrison emanating from his phone’s speaker.

At the sight of him, relaxed and easy, warmth suffuses your body from your fingers to your cold-stiffened toes. You can’t help but smile; you don’t often get to see Sam this peaceful. 

You clear your throat quietly, not wanting to startle him. He turns, his eyes meeting yours, and he sits up straighter. Your heart flips at his infectious smile.

You’re ninety-seven percent sure that his face lights up a little extra.

“I hoped you’d wander this way,” he says. Even his voice is calmer tonight, and you take a moment to simply drink in the serenity of the room. The empty spot across from Sam seems terribly inviting as he waits for your reaction.

Being the direct subject of Sam’s attention is suddenly a little more intense than you can handle. Rather than confront that thought, you glance around, looking for some new subject of conversation. You raise your eyebrows and nod questioningly at the little lamp on the table. Sam follows your gaze, and his smile turns a little bashful.

“Didn’t feel like researching tonight. The library was too cold, so I snagged the lamp and brought it with me. This is easier on my eyes than the overheads, especially since the whole point is to relax. Y’know?”

Yeah...yeah, you do know.

The song on Sam’s phone ends quietly, switching to the next.

Half a mile from the county fair, And the rain came pouring down...

“I, uh…” He clears his throat, some of the bashfulness apparently spreading to his vocal cords. His fingers shuffle awkwardly around the mug as he glances away and then back. It’s difficult to tell, but in the dim light, Sam’s face seems oddly flushed. 

“I made some extra mulled cider, in case you, uh… I thought you might...if you want some. It’s in the pot on the stove.”

Your own cheeks heating, you smile your thanks and move across the room to the shelf where the coffee mugs sit. 

You’re not short, not exactly, but something about living with a pair of giants who each have at least six inches on you can be slightly irritating at times. For example, when the first row of mugs have been used and the second row are just at the edge of your reach.

We just stood there, gettin’ wet, With our backs against the fence...

You sigh and stretch, inadvertently bumping the mug back an inch or so.

For the love of…

“Here, sorry, let me-”

And then Sam is behind you, reaching up to help. His chest presses against your back, so warm, and his arm brushes against yours as his hand accidentally grabs your fingers instead of the mug in question.

Your breath catches in an embarrassingly half-squeak, half-gasp as a tremor runs down your spine, and you both freeze. 

Your body sings at every contact point. Your entire universe narrows down to this room, this one moment. It’s all you can do not to lean into Sam, turn in his arms, and just -

“Are you...are you okay? I’m sorry!” Sam’s voice comes out in a hushed stutter. 

Afraid to move, not wanting to break the spell, your gaze travels slowly up his arm to where his fingers are caged tentatively around your own. Your hand doesn’t seem to be sweating yet, thank god, but…

Oh, the water. Oh, the water. Hope it don’t rain all day.

God, he’s so warm.

Sam’s fingers curl around yours, careful and decisive, and he draws them down to your side. He turns his hand so that you’re palm to palm and slowly twines his fingers with yours. 

His other hand moves up to rest on your waist, exactly where it's meant to be. He leans down, his arms pulling you close, his jaw resting light and scratchy against your temple.

“Is this okay?”

You swallow hard against the sudden paralysis in your throat. All those nights in the library, watching those same fingers flipping pages, scratching notes, combing back through his hair, and somehow you never realized. 

And it stoned me to my soul. Stoned me just like going home, And it stoned me. 

An invisible knot in your chest loosens, and suddenly your breath comes easier. There is absolutely nothing stopping you from leaning back, taking this metaphorical step. In the dim, golden light of Sam’s little lamp, the two of you alone with the quiet, crooning song, Sam’s strong arms around you, everything suddenly feels easy and simple.

It feels like home.

Your turn your face to his. You’ve never been this close, close enough to see the fine lines around his eyes, the creases pressed into his skin from more than a lifetime of suffering and laughter and fighting. His eyes, dark in the muted light, are wide and still as he waits for you to decide.

Just as he’s done every night. No need to make him wait anymore.

You press your lips to his before you lose your nerve, and his intake of breath sweeps cool over your mouth before he returns the kiss. Careful and deliberate but with a hint of the strength that lives within him. And so very warm.

You pull back just enough to bump the tip of your nose against his. Eyes still closed, he exhales, a short little chuckle that curls his lips and relaxes his shoulders.

“Yeah, Sam. This is definitely okay.”

[the-wlw-cafe]

Jet Lagged (Lena Luthor x Reader)

Request: 53 (”it’s lonely here without you”) and 57 (”is that my shirt?”) with domestic fluffy Lena and reader. R is away somewhere for business and Lena is hit with the missing Reader hours. Lena face times or skypes R and they chat. Lovesick Lena, please. Maybe Reader finally comes back home and cue koala girlfriend Lena.

Fandom: Supergirl

Warning: The insinuation of smut, but nothing actually happens in this story.

Words: 1263

You’re awoken from your slumber by the oh-so-familiar melody of an incoming skype call. You lift your head and rub at your cheeks where you can feel the imprint left behind by your keyboard – you must have dozed off trying to get to the bottom of your insurmountable heap of work related e-mails again. You let out a frankly massive yawn, quickly check the time – it’s 4 am, who calls at 4am?! – and then let your gaze swerve to the notification at the bottom of your screen.

You and Lena have been together for almost two years now, and your heart still hasn’t stopped missing a beat whenever you see her, or even just her name on a little skype notification. You’re still as hopelessly in love as you were on your first date (and, to be honest, at least a year or so before that). Your exhaustion vanishes into thin air immediately as the familiar giddiness takes over. You accept the call.

“Lena, what are you doing up so late?” you start asking, and immediately feel stupid as you see the warm orange light of the sunset filter through her window, bathing your girlfriend in a warm glow. Oh right, time zones. They exist.

“I’m sorry darling, did I wake you?”, she asks, uncharacteristically bashful. You’re taken over by a desire to pull her into your arms and never ever let her go again so intense you actually fear you might start crying any second.

“Well, proven by the waffle-face I’ve got going on”, you joke, gesturing at the imprints you can still feel on the left side of your face, “I was having an impromptu nap on my lapto- hey, is that my shirt you’re wearing?”

You see just a hint of red appear on her cheeks, and you’re pretty sure it has nothing to do with the intense glow of National City dusk. You feel so privileged, getting to see this side of her – not that all of her sides aren’t beautiful, you love strict and sexy boardroom Lena just as much as genius scientist Lena, but this one, cosy evenings Lena, feels special somehow. Private. A side of Lena only you get to see.

“It still smells like you”, she confesses, toying with the buttons. “I just – I missed you so much, I had to see your face. I’ll let you get back to sleep now, I’m sorry for waking you up.”

You see her reach for the touchpad of her laptop, presumably to close the call, so you react quickly.

“No, baby, I missed you too. So much. Let’s stay up a bit longer.”

You see Lena’s hand hover over the touchpad indecisively for one or two seconds, before she retreats it and flashes you a brilliant smile. “But not too long, love.”

You lift your fist and extend a pinkie. “Not too long, pinkie promise.” The resulting giggle you manage to draw out of her instantly becomes your favourite sound in the whole world.

“You’re such a child”, she laughs, shaking her head.

“But you miss me.”

“Terribly. It’s lonely here without you. Kara is trying so hard to cheer me up, but National City just isn’t the same when you’re not here.”

You immediately get what she’s talking about – as excited as you were for the opportunity to work in London for a few weeks, the city quickly lost its appeal after it became clear that Lena wouldn’t be able to accompany you. “Only two more weeks left, baby, and then I’ll come home to you. I can’t wait until I get to kiss you again.”

Her eyes brighten at the thought, a mischievous mirth crossing her features. “I can’t say I haven’t missed that as well, love”, she purrs, her voice dropping an octave deeper in a way that immediately raises your pulse.

“Behave”, you chuckle. “Don’t start anything you’re not prepared to finish.”

“You should really get some sleep”, she says. “Doctor’s orders.”

“You’re not a doctor of medicine.”

“Yet”, she challenges playfully. “No more changing the topic. You look like you’re about to keel over.”

Catching your reflection in the webcam just as you try to stifle a yawn, you have to agree with her.

“Good night, darling. Sweet dreams.” She blows you a kiss. You pretend to catch it in your palm and press it against your heart.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.”

You honestly want to stay up talking to her, like a lovesick teenager on a school night, but your common sense tells you otherwise. Only two more weeks, you remind yourself. I can do this.

You know your girlfriend usually hates surprises, but when given the opportunity to take an earlier plane home and arrive about 5 hours earlier in National City than originally planned, well…let’s just say the decision process wasn’t very long. Despite the jet lag you find it impossible to sit still in the back seat of the uber, so you shift in your seat with all your pent up energy, pointedly ignoring the worried looks the driver shoots you every now and then. You tip him generously as you almost stumble over your feet in your hurry to get back to your girlfriend.

You startle Frank, Lena’s night shift security guard, who’s guilty expression immediately tells you he’s been using the computer for minesweeper again.

“Oh, Miss (Y/L/N), I wasn’t expecting you back until tomorrow!”

“Me neither, Frank, it came as a surprise to all of us.”

“Well, Miss (Y/L/N), I’d bet my last dollar that it’s going to be a very welcome surprise for Miss Luthor”, he winks.

You spend the elevator ride nervously pulling and prodding at your clothes, your efforts of looking halfway presentable for your girlfriend go out the window when you discover the coffee stain under your collar – that’s what you get for trying to enjoy a coffee on the plane. You ring the doorbell.

“Who’s there?” Lena sounds wary. No wonder, you think, nothing good has ever come of unannounced guests after midnight. Well, nothing good except you, you hope.

“Surprise?”, you say, and that’s about as far as you get before the door is flung open and you find yourself wrapped into a full-on koala hug by your girlfriend.

“I take it you’re glad I’m home?”, you giggle and press a kiss against her temple. Lena pulls back just enough to take your face in her hands, caressing it as though she was making sure you were really here. Her smile is wide, genuine, sweet. “You have no idea, darling”, she murmurs, before pulling you into a deep kiss.

You barely manage to maneuver the two of you back into the apartment, it’s hard to make your form coherent thoughts when Lena has one hand in your hair, pulling teasingly, and the other at your hip, pressing you into her. When you finally break apart, you’re both out of breath.

“I can’t believe you’re really here. I’ve waited so long for this”, Lena breathes, her hands moving to unbutton your shirt.

You try to reply, but instead a gigantic yawn forces its way past your lips. “I have the mother of all jet lags”, you admit sheepishly. “Honestly, I just need to get these shoes off and sleep for a week. Now don’t pout”, you say, quickly pressing a kiss to her ruby red lips, “and come cuddle instead.”

You don’t have to tell her twice.

“I missed this more than anything”, you hear her mumble against your collarbone, before blissful sleep finally takes you.

[merakiui]

hey!! i was lucky enough to stumble across your blog, & i'm enjoying your writing!! could i request something for a first date w/ sian? maybe something more casual, like a cafe!

(I’m glad you like it! Hopefully this is what you had in mind with your request! I went for a “friends to lovers” vibe in a modern setting if that’s okay. Please enjoy and thank you for such a fun request!)

Courtesy Coffee (Sian)

You met under unpleasant circumstances. Sian was in a rush to get to his destination, and you were staring down at your phone with a cup of iced coffee in your other hand. Like that banal trope in shoujo manga, the two of you crashed into one another, and your drink spilled all over his outfit. As complete strangers, it was obvious that the one who was drenched would be incredibly frustrated. That was an exact observation, only Sian didn’t feel the need to use a filter that day.

“Are you kidding me? Watch where you’re going!” he had yelled, gripping his soaked shirt and glaring daggers at you. “How am I supposed to show up to work looking like this?!”

Anyone would feel frightened with his exasperated tone of voice and the intimidating aura that surrounded him, but you weren’t one to surrender immediately.

Straightening your shoulders, you met his heated stare. “I’m sorry. At least it wasn’t hot, right?” Hoping to dispel his anger, you smiled a little. “I can buy you a clean shirt if it’ll make you feel better.”

He puffed his cheeks out, suddenly bashful as he avoided your gaze. “It’s the least you could do! Seriously, this is the worst. I smell just like your stupid coffee.”

“Hey, don’t diss my iced coffee. It’s delicious and you know it.”

“If it’s so good, why is it all over me?” he snapped, crossing his arms. “This’ll stain, you know!”

“I offered to get you another shirt.”

“It’s not just on my shirt, you moron! I can’t face my colleagues like this. You have no idea what they’ll say.”

“Suck it up then!”

“No!”

You sighed heavily, gripping your empty coffee cup. “There’s no need to be difficult. Just let me get you a clean polo and slacks. Unless you’d rather parade around in wet, coffee-smelling attire. You’re making a scene with all of your yelling.”

“You were just yelling, too. Fine, whatever. I guess you can do that.”

Even as you spied his blush, you couldn’t ignore your thoughts. Is he seriously embarrassed by the fact that I’m getting him clothes? Anyone would do this to repay the damage. 

“That’s all I needed to hear. Oh, and for the record you’re the one who should watch where you’re going.”

He didn’t take those words too well. Regardless, that was how you met the guy with a loud mouth and an even louder personality. You ran into him twice after that incident, and each time he seemed to stumble over himself. He tried to thank you for the clothes, but all he could manage was a huff and an angry comment about how the fabric was uncomfortable. Weeks later, that same boy just so happened to feel bad about starting a few shouting matches with you during those three times you interacted. He saw you in a café by chance and secretly covered your drink fee, making the barista promise not to reveal his identity. It was a sweet gesture, despite being anonymous and a bit of a shock on your end. You’d never experienced the magic that was receiving your drink for free, but it was great nonetheless.

You enter work that morning with a cheery disposition, passing by coworkers and even engaging in kind banter with those who aren’t the friendliest. You clock in and make your way towards the elevator while scrolling through an online article. Hearing a familiar ping, you glance up, urging whoever’s inside to hold the door. There are four other people crammed within the area, all of whom are silently waiting for the elevator to rise. You push the button for your floor and relax. Momentarily, you glance around the enclosed space to see if you can recognize anyone from your department. Your eyes sweep from one person to the next, and you spot polite Nine at the very back.

You’re compelled to greet him, but someone stands in your way. Someone who bears an uncanny resemblance to the guy who was showered in iced coffee two weeks ago. You gasp and turn away, hoping he won’t notice you.

No way! We work for the same company? What’re the odds? This must be a bad omen! I don’t want to start another fight with him, you think, having done your best to erase those memories.

The elevator pings, and you’re completely distracted. Though you don’t miss the hand that taps your shoulder. Your gaze follows his arm. It’s that guy again.

“Hey. This is your floor, isn’t it?”

The number doesn’t lie, but Sian’s memory might as he struggles to recall your familiar features. It clicks just as you bolt out of the elevator, the doors slipping shut and obscuring your backside for good. Sian blinks rapidly as his face heats up. That was...

Coffee idiot! he thinks. There’s no mistaking that stupid look on their face. He’s thrown into a bad mood at once, internally grumbling as he remembers that day. Even if he changed into new clothes, he still smelled of coffee. It was embarrassing, and his bothersome colleagues wouldn’t leave him alone. And now we work in the same building. Maybe I should just quit so I don’t have to face them.

"Can you believe it, Youssef?” you ask your deskmate, having ranted to him while typing up the progress of this week’s publication. At least that’s a monetary positive for the company. You can’t say the same for your mentality, though. “I do something nice in return and he yells at me. And then we meet again—twice—and he’s still rude.”

Youssef tilts his head, a childish gesture for someone his age. “Are you sure you’re not incorrectly reading his actions?”

“I’m positive. When have I ever been wrong?” You frown as your fingers slow their pace on the keyboard. “I just found out today that we work in the same building. This is totally unfair. Why do I have to bear the burden of knowing this information?”

“I’m sure he means well. What does he look like? I might know him.” You describe him to your helpful colleague, who nods and taps his chin in thought. His expression lights up with recognition. “If I remember correctly, his name is Sian, and he’s in the marketing department. We’ve only talked briefly, but I can assure you he’s quite diligent with his work.”

“Well, everyone’s got their own personality outside of their jobs.”

“I suppose, but it’s not polite to label someone based off of such little knowledge,” he advises lightly, turning his attention back to his computer screen. “Rather than using all of your energy painting a bad image of him, you should spend that time getting to know him. It’ll fix any negative impressions you may have.”

“Something tells me he wouldn’t like that...”

Since then, you haven’t run into Sian once. At first you made it your mission to keep an eye out for him, but now that you’ve been busy with this new project you can’t be bothered to let his image clutter your mind. So you brush him aside like a cobweb, certain you won’t bump into him again. Your floors are far enough apart, so it’s unlikely that that’ll happen. But you’re not always the luckiest, and fate tends to tease those who aren’t on good terms with one another.

You’re close to running late on a rainy day, having missed the train, so now you’re doing everything you can to catch a taxi. Cars speed by on the road, and you fail to flag down a vehicle. Dejected and soaked to the bone, you drag your feet along the slick sidewalk, wishing for your next paycheck so that you can put it towards a used car. Speaking of cars, one slides past you as it makes an effort to park along the walkway. In doing so, the tires kick up a huge puddle, effectively soaking your lower half. As if the day couldn’t have gotten any worse. The car almost moves out of the spot before it halts, and the window steadily rolls down to reveal the face of your greatest enemy.

Well, he’s not technically your greatest enemy, but it really feels like it in that moment.

“Do you need a ride?” As if correcting himself, he quickly adds, “I’m not doing this because it’s you! I’m just sympathizing.”

Does it matter? you wonder, bitter and cold and wet. Karma is so brutal.

“You’re Sian, right?” You approach his car, peering in at the flustered man. “From marketing.”

“Y-Yeah. So what?”

“I’m in publishing.” Awkwardly, you look up at the cloudy sky. “It’s really coming down. The forecast didn’t call for this much rain.”

“Are you getting in or not?”

“But you’re a stranger,” you jest, fixing him with a pout. “I don’t want scary Sian to kidnap me.”

He glowers at your joke. “I’m leaving now. I don’t have time for this.”

You hold back a chuckle, tearing open the door before he can drive off. “Wait! Sorry, I’ll get in. I can’t stand another minute in this rain.”

The window slides up, and he sets the car in motion after you’ve buckled up, easing back into the flow of traffic smoothly. Now that you’re sitting there with the AC blowing cool air at your face, you shudder. Oh, how wonderful it must feel to be in clothes that are warm and untouched by the rain. In his peripheral, Sian catches your shivering form, and he switches the AC from cold air to hot. You might not dry as quick as one would hope, but at least it’s something.

The silence is utterly tense. You almost expect him to bicker with you like he did in the past. Instead, he’s focused on the winding road ahead. Though you don’t miss the pink hue that tints his cheeks and gradually rises to his ears.

“So,” you say, if only to get a conversation going. “How’s work?”

“Fine, I guess. How did you know who I was?”

“My friend Youssef.”

“Oh.”

“You probably don’t know me. I’m (Name).”

“I already know.”

“Really? Stalker.”

“I’m not a stalker!” he exclaims, glaring hard at the windshield. “You’re kind of hard to miss.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’re always so loud at our company parties. How can anyone ignore that?” Sian then proceeds to bless your ears with a story from this year’s holiday party. A few departments got together and went out for drinks and karaoke. Naturally, you had a drinking contest with your colleagues, which led to a tipsy night of bad singing and stumbling from one bar to the next. You were surprised Sian remembered that, mainly because you couldn’t recall seeing him there. And it’s been months since that rowdy night. “Do you see my point?”

“Don’t remind me. That hangover hurt my soul.”

He quirks a smile at that. “It’s not flattering when you sing high notes in the wrong key.”

“Like you could do any better.”

“I can because I was sober.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You roll your eyes, gazing out at the scenery that passes by in a blur of dull colors. Without meaning to, you eye Sian’s reflection in the window, taking note of his side profile. He’s actually quite handsome when he’s calm and not acting so stubborn. “I guess we’re even now.”

“Even?”

“I spilled coffee on you, and you splashed me when your tires hit that puddle.”

“Am I supposed to buy you clothes now?”

“If you’re offering...”

“I wasn’t offering!”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got a spare uniform in my locker.”

I wasn’t worried to begin with, you coffee idiot, Sian thinks, gripping the steering wheel. He keeps track of your occasional trembling, and he can’t help but feel troubled. You’ll catch a cold if you don’t dry off soon. Suddenly, he regrets pulling up beside you and accidentally sending water flying in your direction. This time it was definitely his fault, wasn’t it? Sian wants to make it up to you, but it’s impossible. He’ll die of embarrassment before he succeeds in performing a good deed in front of you.

Truthfully, he’s always noticed you. The very first instance was last year at the company’s drinking party. You were glued to Youssef’s side, engaging in idle chatter with him and another guy he wasn’t too familiar with. At the time, Sian thought your behavior was obnoxious. No one wants their younger coworker clinging to them. It just made you look like an attention-seeking puppy. Although you were definitely upbeat at that party. He had watched you chug an entire pint of beer like it was nothing and then join in on a pointless game of Ten Fingers with enough energy to put a child to shame.

He thought you were annoying at first, and yet there was something captivating about your personality. He’d never had the guts to approach you outright, so when he ran into you that day all of his frustrations just spilled over. He was angry at himself for not having the courage to talk to you at every company party, and now that he had a chance he couldn’t think of what to say. He hadn’t mentally prepared anything! So he said the first thing that came to his mind, which passed through his unfiltered lips in a very abrupt manner.

But you didn’t show any fear. You hardly flinched. Instead you met his words with a few of your own, and that’s what ruffled Sian’s feathers. You were so good at communication, and he was very much unskilled, usually relying on phrases he prepared in his head. It’s not like he couldn’t talk. He could when he was interested in a certain subject or whenever he was reading from a page, but in front of someone he admired... Sian knew he’d make a fool of himself.

Now that you’re sitting in the passenger seat of his car, he has every opportunity to say what he wants. Yet the words scramble in his brain, and he can’t calm his racing heart. Before he can think of anything witty, the building comes into view, and the parking garage has never seemed so dismal. Sian’s kicking himself as he parks, disappointed with how he handled that situation.

“Thanks for this. I’ll go on ahead.” You unbuckle, holding your briefcase and squeezing water from your blazer. “I’m sorry if I got your seat wet.”

“It’s...fine.”

You’re going to walk away and then he’ll become the coffee idiot. He opens his mouth to say something that’ll stop you, but you turn around at the right moment.

“Let’s get coffee sometime in the future. You deserve it after all the trouble I gave you,” you propose, smiling earnestly. And I feel guilty for my initial judgement. Youssef was right.

Sian’s eyes widen, and he struggles to remain stoic. “Oh, uh...”

“That’s okay with you, right?”

“I guess. Whatever works for you.” He shrugs.

“Great!” You retrieve a pen from your case and close the distance between the two of you. Humming, you snatch his hand, spreading his fingers so that his palm is wide open. And then you scribble something on it, grinning in satisfaction. Sian stares at you the entire time, his face blank and head filled with static. “Text me the days you’re available. See you later!” You tuck the pen away, hastily dashing in the direction of the elevator.

Sian stands there for a moment, slack-jawed. He forces himself to look down at his hand. Your number is written on his skin in smudged ink. His face erupts in a flurry of red. That coffee idiot...

------

“It’s not a date,” Sian mutters as he walks to the café. “It’s not. Stop thinking that way.”

But maybe it is a date, the voice in the back of his mind whispers, goading him into believing so. He dressed as casually as possible, but he still hopes it’ll impress you. There are plenty of fears that flood his head, and he almost turns around as soon as he gets to the entrance. But he’s come this far, and he’d regret it forever if he left now. This might be his only chance; he can’t afford to pass it up. So he pushes open the door in search of you. It doesn’t take long to locate your form amongst the few who are inside. Sian’s pulse rushes into overdrive, and he clenches his jaw.

It’s not a date. Act natural.

You look up from your phone just as he slides into the seat across from you. A warm smile blossoms across your face, and you tuck your mobile away. “Sian, you made it! I was worried you wouldn’t come.”

“It’d be rude if I didn’t show up after you made all those plans.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Well, thank you. Now I won’t have to feel bad about Monday morning.”

You had felt bad? Sian’s cheeks must be burning intensely bright now, but there’s nothing he can do. “It’s your fault for being an idiot.”

You chuckle. “That makes two of us. One idiot ignored the forecast, and the other wasn’t watching where he was going.”

“Whatever. Just so we’re clear, I’m not as stupid as you.” He crosses his arms and huffs. “And you don’t have any taste. I mean, iced coffee? Really?”

“It’s good!” you insist. “You’re missing out. Everyone knows iced coffee is better than hot coffee.”

“Is it now? I don’t agree with that statistic.”

“You’re allowed to have your own opinion, Mr. Sian,” you tease. “Give me your drink order. I’ll go get it.”

“What? No way. I’ll pay.”

“As if! I’m treating you.”

“You already bought me clothes.”

“And now I’m going to buy you coffee. It’s to say thanks for picking me up during that storm.”

“I would’ve left you on that sidewalk if I knew you were going to make it a hassle now!”

“Just accept my kindness!”

Sian shuts his mouth, giving into your demand. He grumbles his order, and you’re very happy as you make your way towards the register to get the two of you drinks and pastries. He watches as you pay, releasing a soft sigh. It’s hard to say no to someone you’ve admired for so long. Sian’s not sure when he started to like you, but he’s certain these recent interactions have only added fuel to the burning fire residing in his heart. It’s embarrassing to think he’s even on a romantic outing with you, but it’s not like the two of you are close friends. So then what does that make this?

When you return to the window table, setting down the drinks and a plate with two strawberry bread puddings, he’s shaken from his daydreams. This is actually happening. It’s not just another fantasy he’s imagined while witnessing you drink your sanity away at parties.

“I’m not sure if you like strawberries, but I—“

“I guess it’s okay,” he interrupts, trying to hide the fact that he actually likes it very much.

“Good!” You ease into your chair. “You’re not as bad as I thought you were.”

He raises an eyebrow as he takes a sip from his latte. “Huh.”

“You seemed really upset when I spilled my coffee on you. But anyone would be, so it’s completely understandable. I thought you hated me because of that. When we saw each other again, you were pretty sensitive.”

“I’m not sensitive!” he snaps, proving your point. “That was a white shirt you ruined.”

“Will you feel better if you dump coffee on me?”

“What? Why would I do that? I’m not going to do something as petty as that!”

“Aw, so you do care.”

“I don’t. Get lost.”

You break out into a laughing fit, genuinely amused at his coldness. Even if he doesn’t want to show it, he’s quite nice, and you’re relieved that he didn’t turn out to be a bully seeking revenge. Then again, it’s been weeks since that incident. 

“It’s not funny!”

“Sorry, sorry. You’re just so expressive. It’s hard not to laugh.”

A furious red darkens his face, and he decides to fumble with his fork in order to give his hands something to do. The bread pudding is surprisingly delicious. He fumes in his embarrassment while he eats.

Eventually, the two of you converse about work and that project your department took on. Sian listens to your rambling as you go on and on about how irksome it is when last-minute changes are made to a finalized draft. He enjoys every story you tell him, and by the time the plate is empty he feels as if he’s grown closer with you. Could this be the beginning of a friendship? He’s hit with a sudden wave of inspiration for lyrics that will never be sung. At least they can fester on a page in his notebook, where he’ll return on countless occasions to proofread and debate over the meaning of each line. Oh, how he’d love to share his music with you. It’ll take a while before he does something as bold as that, though.

“I just got an idea! There’s this awesome bar thirty minutes from work. I usually go with my friends because they’ve got a bunch of games you can play. Board games, card games—you name it. We should go one of these days.”

“R-Really?”

“Yeah! You seem like a fun guy to hang out with. Card games might sound boring, but they’re actually really fun when you’re playing for money. And when you’ve got a few drinks in your system.”

Sian struggles to hide the giddy smile that threatens to split his lips. “No... It sounds perfect. I’m actually really good at Slapjack, so be prepared to lose miserably!”

“Is that a challenge? What should we wager?”

"How about a meal? Loser has to pay for the winner’s lunch.”

“All right. It’s a deal. I’ll keep you updated on my schedule so that we can choose a weekend to meet up.”

“Sure!” Sian’s face won’t stop heating up and he can’t slow his erratic heartbeat. “I mean, I’ll only do it so I can get a free lunch. It’s not like I’m agreeing for your sake.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever floats your boat.”

His chest feels airy and light, almost as if he’s in a dream. Your words weigh on his conflicted heart. How can anyone make plans so easily? If the roles were reversed, he’d be an absolute mess. It’d be so embarrassing; Sian would probably want to curl up and disappear if he ever tried to ask you out on his own volition. You probably don’t even feel the same way. After all, this is merely two coworkers having a normal conversation. But he can’t get stuck in the friend zone. That’d be the worst outcome to all of this. So in the meantime he’ll do his best to act cordial. He can hide his shy demeanor and fluffy feelings behind a blunt attitude.

“All of this planning makes it seem like we’re a couple,” you muse with flirtatious intent. Leaning back in your chair, you gauge Sian’s reaction. Just as you figured, he’s turning crimson. It’s honestly endearing to see him get so flustered. “What do you think, Sian?”

“I... I don’t know. Don’t say stupid things! It’s really annoying.”

No matter how sharp his words are, you know he doesn’t mean it. After all, his expression clearly refutes those claims.

“Sian and (Name), sitting in a tree—“

“Shut up!”

If this isn’t a date, then what’s with all the flirting?

Sian’s going to have to take a cold shower when he gets home to lower his body temperature. And to scrub away the embarrassment that’s washed over him like rain.

It’s not a date. It’s just coffee with an acquaintance. Yeah. Just courtesy coffee.

He couldn’t be any further from the truth.