#must be human-sized. Furries!

[fernsplaysthings]

...

[yanderenightmare]

♡ TW: hybrid au, bullying, harassment

♡ GN reader

A sudden evolutionary change befalls the entire human race, turning everyone into hybrids…

And as your bully comes to terms with how much bulkier he's become, along with his new sharp teeth, stronger jaw, and round furry ears, as well as the little tassel he'd grown for a tail, he's also picturing you—his cute little classmate. 

At first, he caught himself thinking about what you'd look like if you were part bear like him, but then, when mulling over the fact that everyone had altered into some type of animal that seemed to complement characteristics they had already, he began wondering what animal characteristics best suited you, and what your bullyable body now looked like.

If he were to guess before seeing you, he'd think your meek nature must have gifted you with an animal equally as pathetic—like a little mouse.

But no, not exactly, though not far off either. 

There you are, in the classroom before anyone else, bright and early like always, as if you want him to catch you alone.

“Well, well, well… look what we have here,” he announces himself, placing one heavy foot before the other as he saunters over to your desk.

You jump up from your chair in a flurry, spooked by his voice. "Oh–hey," you greet, timidly like usual, maybe even more so, as you take in his new size, eyes widening as you do.

"Tch-" he scoffs, sharp eyes looking down at you, thinking you must have shrunk a whole head before remembering how his growth was probably half to blame. "Of course, the most useless person in the world turns into the most useless animal ever."

Your button nose wriggles, but you don’t dare negate his statement. "And you're a—" you start, but almost instantly regret it as obvious an observation as it is, "Bear."

He sneers, "Guess what they say about bunnies being dumb is true after all."

Your buck teeth peek forth as you bite into your lip, bowing your head. "Was there something you wanted?"

With his hands in his front pockets, he stands there for a moment—in silence that only seemed to increase in deadliness the longer it lasted, before stating his demand, "Show me your tail."

You look up at him at that. "W-why?"

He unpockets his paw and plants it on your desk, leaning in close. A grin spread on his lips—fangs and all. "'Cause I wanna see it. So turn around."

You shake your head pitifully. "N-no, that's embarrassing."

But he doesn’t care much about your refusal, only sighing heavily before grabbing your arm and pulling you forward until your chest met the solid surface of the desk, bent over it oh-so-prettily and ready for inspection.

"Come on, dont be difficult," he growls through a smirk, watching you wiggle a bit until settling down, all too quickly yielding under his mighty grip—a display that makes him lick his teeth before slolwy lifting your shirt, pulling it up your back, watching as the little tuft of fur waiting beneath it springs out of hiding for him to see.

He simpers at the sight, then eagerly goes to feel it. 

You whimper at his handling, but he ignores you. Feeling up the softness between his fingers. "Tch–so fluffy… no different from a stuffed animal."

His eyes pan to your face, looking at it cower, squished against the desk with knitted brows and eyes squeezed shut. You’re really just gonna lie there and let him do this, aren’t yah?

"Lop ears are a sign of domestication, y'know?" he says then, picking one of the floppy things up, giving it a rub that makes your whimpers turn into whines. 

"Yeah… if it wasn't clear enough before…” he chuckles. “You're as submissive as they come.”

♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Shigaraki, Dabi, Hawks, Shinso ♡ JJK – Sukuna, Geto, Gojo, Naoya, Toji ♡ HQ – Kyotani, Miya twins ♡ BLLK – Reo ♡ DS – Sanemi

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

[2dmax]

2dmax 🌻🥀 custom art commissions

PWYW & chibi special for Fall-Winter 2024

full size art examples & sorta retro chibi examples humans, humanoids, furries, ferals, robots, anthros, etc. OK read about the conditions and how to order below 👇

thanks for reblogging!

Pay What You Want, Get What You Get Full Size Commissions 💸

Can be an icon, bust, half body, full body

Higher budget means more complexity, # of subjects, and control

Lower budgets offer more control to the artist, single subject

Working digitally/traditionally is up to the artist's discretion

Materials/stylistic choices are up to the artist's discretion

Revisions, major or minor, are up to the artist's discretion

Presence of background, scene, props, up to artist's discretion

Characters/outfits/props may be simplified or slightly altered

full size art examples -- other commission types

For reference sheets, group lineups, 18"x24" posters, paperclay dolls, or comic book pages, please see "other commission types".

$10 Sorta Retro Chibis 🎨

Single character, drawn on approx. 6" x 4 1/2" paper

Materials used are typically black and color ink

Artist controls pose, outfit, props, background, simplification

You will have a chance to approve the sketch

No revisions past that point

Tips are appreciated, but do not affect outcome

sorta retro chibi examples

How To Order & What To Expect 📬

Message me, or fill out my google form

Send me visual and/or text references

Tell me about the characters personality or special meaning to you

Include any preferences or notes on important elements

Provide payment info - for ppal please provide your email!

Provide the email address I can send the finished artwork to

I will communicate with you and confirm your request!

You will be given a link to my Trello queue

Payment is due once the sketch is confirmed

Each order takes approx. 2-7 days to complete

Delays will be mentioned on the Trello

Traditional art can be shipped at-cost

Terms and Conditions 📜

Your commission is for personal use; icons, roleplaying, in your blog theme, as a wallpaper, or to print out and tape to your fridge. Commercial use can be negotiated.

Your final art is sent over Google Drive. I will either transfer ownership or delete the file after 7 days. Please download locally.

You must credit me on the platform used if reposted. Always OK to post to ToyHouse; my username is 2dmax there. On instagram and all other platforms where I don’t have an account, please credit my instagram @/maximumgroove.

You may not use my art to promote anything hateful or illegal. You may not claim it as anyone else’s creation. You may not use it for commercial uses, or to edit, adapt, trace, or directly reference, without permission. I may use my art in my own promo material.

Unsolicited advice on my pricing or how I otherwise conduct my business is subject to a $1,000,000,000 fee via personal check, made payable to Joe Mama!

This post is LIVE from Sept 15th 2024 - January 1st 2025, with a possible slight extension.

-max k.

[neocaridina]

in my making things up about Kanghui era

He is just a little guy. You must now accept the Kanghui into your heart.

Appearance notes/headcanons:

His ears appear furry (?) in the game, so I used that as inspiration for the rest of him. I think he's mostly hairless at that point, but previously would have been quite furry

Along with that, he has lighter peachy fur, and pink skin.

I think he's quite short ;D not yi-sized tiny, but definitely a little guy

More general headcanons:

Like most solarians we see, he would've had fangs/sharper teeth, but they were filed down to implement the device in his mouth, which is why they now look like human teeth.

The device (?) over his head and eyes is used to keep him placated (or, maybe, it is a tool used as another method to torture him?)

The "trivial offense" of his which offended the Fengs was not so trivial at all, and he's downplaying to appeal for help. (I'm undecided yet on what exactly I think he did, though..)

Generally, I think that before his imprisonment, he was a very rich, smug, and condescending little brat of a man. Just terribly insufferable to be around.

Like, the type of guy to get someone raging mad with him and then go "c'mon I'm just a little guyyy you wouldn't punch a little guy would you? c'monnn"

𝓗𝓮'𝓼 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓰𝓾𝔂

He's a know-it-all type who refuses to ever admit when he's wrong, and he's often wrong, which gets him into all kinds of trouble. (like, eternal torture kinds of trouble ;D)

It's implied by Abacus and Kuafu that Kanghui's regenerative properties make him age "very slowly," and I wonder how that might've factored into his ego and others' perception of him? (And, just how slow is "very" slowly? How long had he been alive before he was imprisoned? And was it widely known about beforehand? And-)

rcg please dm me the scrapped kanghui lore I have so many questions please pl

[xx0acidicorchid0xx]

some notes on wolverines (mustelidae) and Logan

cause new hyperfixation (its been goin on since a few weeks ago). gonna preface this by saying i have only seen the first x-men movie, and whatever else i found on tiktok n tumblr through my hyperfixation hoarding, so if anything is wrong or actually canon (or not canon) I'm sorry

notes under cut:

wolverines, while technically weasels, theyre the largest terrestrial weasel, and can weigh 26-50lbs.

Logan, is 5'3, but weighs at least 300lbs due to the admantium skeleton (195lbs without, meaning this small furry smelly man is just pure bulk)

wolverines are muscular n stocky and have thick fur (also waterproof n oily to prevent frost n such in them harsh canadian forests), are native to canada but can be found in similar environments, and are described as lil balls of violence and are extremely territorial around their food, family, and themselves (only out of necessity in order to survive the winter wastelands they live in). they also lack social skills and pack behavior like wolves

Logan, hairy beefy man, born in canada, described as an asshole, is violent n aggressive, but also severely traumatized. now with the fur, wolverines are nicknamed skunkcats because of how much they reek (they also mark whatever carcass they stole or found so nothing else can take it from em or where they buried it). if Logan (who canonically reeks) has waterproof n oily fur, it must be real difficult getting him to shower (not to mention he doesnt like getting wet) and also the water will not be able to get to his fucking skin because hes built to survive canadian woods.

wolverines are also commonly found in trees, as they use the height to locate prey and eventually pounce onto said prey

from some of the panel screenshots ive seen, Logan isnt unfamiliar with climbing onto trees

wolverines have been known to take on animals 3x their size, such as fuckin Moose, polar bears, elk n caribou, etc etc (only difference here between the mustelid and Logan is that there is no known attack on a human by a wolverine).

while wolverines have semi-retractable claws, Logan's claws are fully retractable. they (both the animal and Logan) have huge paws/hands, for the animal, its to prevent sinking into the snow

along with the thick waterproof fur and stocky build, theyre latin name gulo basically means glutton, so they have to eat a fuck load in order to maintain their body temp (usually they just eat their weight or very frequent small meals, but larger stuff is common), also theyre carnivorous but will eat anything they can find or kill, usually carcasses from avalanches n such, aka opportunity eaters

i have heard that Logan eats a shit ton, especially meat, but only large meals when alone, and small meals more frequently at the mansion. with the body heat thing, it must be super hard for him post-adamantium to keep his body temp at a normal range without literally sitting in the sun all day.

despite the aggressiveness they develop in the wild, when domesticated (which ive heard/read is super easy than you would think), they become very attached to one person, who usually is the trusted handler. they exhibit very cat-like behaviors, except wolverines actually like being picked up and wearing harnesses, they also like pets (but again, the trusted handler thing). they can become calm when hearing a high pitched obnoxious voice, and can go into a kind of trance when their gums are rubbed.

not sure about the cat behaviors n harnesses n other shit for Logan, but with the voice thing: Wade. thats all i really need to say about that

wolverines are naturally polygamous, but do come back to the female every so often to help raise the kits. theres a video of a wolverine male leaving out a moose leg near a female's den so she can have something for the kits to eat

this man gets passed around the x-men mansion like coleslaw at a southern get together dinner, aint no way hes monogamous. he does worry about the women he basically adopted and raised (rogue, laura, jubilee i think, yukio?,, i cant name any others but theres several)

wolverines also have the ability to smell a frozen carcass from over a mile away (and lemme tell ya, unless you have an excellent sense of smell, frozen anything doesnt have a smell except sharp)

this man can canonically smell emotions, and be able to tell the difference between Mystique and Storm just from smell Alone.

wolverines are very vocal, usually this kinda snarl/snort/growl/mumbling/chuff sound

not sure about comic Wolvie, but Hugh Jackman (and Logan, obviously) does snort n growl n roar n other shit like that

wolverines' mating rituals often include fighting multiple times, and mate Only after the female is confident in the male's fighting (males who return several times are more likely to mate than males who only fight once or twice) and that the female doesnt submit too easily. this is so the female and male can ensure the produced kits are strong enough to survive

self explanatory, minus the producing kits (that i know of)

also fun lil fact, wolverines' back molars are rotated at a 90 degree angle, so they can gnaw through bone easier (supposedly this is a common trait for mustelids)

not sure about sideways molars, but Logan does canonically have longer, more animalistic canines

most of my notes and how i worded some stuff is taken from wolverine expert Steve Kroschel, and tumblr user @/icarusredwings, as they have Amazing notes and headcanons on wolverines and Logan

[celticbotanart]

I'm now offering a no-revision style of commissions (or "skeb"), looking like the examples above!

52 USD - you can order it via Ko-Fi [x] or VGen [x]!

Single character, bust

Sketch/unfinished lines, flat colors

No background (white bg)

Intricate details and jewelry will be simplified

No WIP corrections or feedback for this tier; I'll draw the character in one go and deliver the illustration already finished to you!

I won't do the character design - you must have a clear visual reference (ex: screenshots of your Tav / WoL; previous commissions or illustrations of your OC, etc).

Let me know what kind of expression you want the character to have!

NON-COMMERCIAL USE!

I'll deliver you a High-Resolution version [300dpi, printing quality]; Web-sized, watermarked version, ran through Glaze [anti-AI technology]

WILL DO:

Human or humanoid (any gender)

Humanoid with animal parts (horns, scales, cat ears, etc) Intricate armor, jewelry, clothes, accessories, etc (will be simplified)

Alien-looking characters (I might decline it if I feel I can't do them justice!)

Bruises, injuries, scars, a little bit of blood is OK

WON'T DO:

Mecha, full furry characters

NSFW, incest

Real people

If you have any questions, just send me message here or an email to celticbotan@gmail.com ~

commission info | patreon | Ko-fi | VGen | bluesky

[ladysif8]

Alpine's Guide to Surviving the Holidays

•Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers •Rating: General Audience •Tags: Recovering Bucky Barnes, Semi-Retired Bucky Barnes, Semi-Retired Steve Rogers, Introducing Alpine, Domestic Bliss, Flirting, Kissing, Boys In Love, Christmas Time, Alpine Is A Furry Demon Kitty, Alpines POV, Alpines Guide, Alpine is Supreme Queen.

Summary: This festive, feline-centered tale offers a glimpse of the holidays from Alpine's perspective, filled with chaos, humor, and a little holiday mischief as she reminds her humans who's really in charge.

Author Note: This is dedicated to my wonderful friend Jess, whose friendship, endless support, and creativity inspire me every day. Thank you for being such an incredible part of my journey. This one's for you!

Greetings, lesser creatures. I am Alpine, supreme ruler of my domain, and it has come to my attention that humans behave even more ridiculously than usual during the "holiday season." As the authority on all matters feline, I have compiled this guide to help my fellow cats navigate—and exploit—this baffling time of year.

Step 1: The Tree

Humans will drag an entire tree into the house (or worse, assemble a fake one) and decorate it with shiny, dangly objects that they insist you must not touch. Nonsense. Those ornaments are clearly meant for us.

Here's how to assert your dominance:

• Start small. Bat at the lower ornaments when no one's looking.

• Once you've mastered subtle swipes, go for a bold climb up the tree. Bonus points if the humans scream in panic.

• Knock over at least one ornament a day. This keeps the humans on their toes and reminds them who's really in charge.

The Christmas tree stood in the corner of the living room, twinkling with strings of lights and shimmering with delicate ornaments, a picture of holiday perfection. It practically radiated smugness, as if it were daring anyone to disrupt its pristine beauty. Alpine, lounging a few feet away, had other plans. Her blue eyes narrowed as she sized it up, her tail flicking rhythmically against the floor. Bucky had told her no at least a dozen times since the tree had gone up, but Alpine wasn't one to take orders. Rules, as far as she was concerned, were for humans—and besides, this tree was asking for it.

She started small. Subtlety was her specialty. Creeping toward the base of the tree with slow, deliberate steps, she kept her movements light and quiet, her tail held low to avoid catching attention. Once in position, her paw shot out, quick as a flash, batting at a low-hanging ornament. It spun lazily on its string, catching the glow of the twinkling lights. Perfect.

Satisfied with her work, Alpine swatted at another one, her claws grazing the shiny surface with a satisfying tink. The sound echoed faintly through the room, and she froze, her ears swiveling toward the kitchen.

"Alpine," Bucky's voice boomed, sharp and warning. "Don't even think about it."

She turned her head slowly, fixing him with her most innocent stare, wide-eyed and sweet. The picture of a good cat. And then, with a flick of her tail, she swatted the ornament again—harder this time, sending it flying across the room. It bounced once on the rug before disappearing under the couch.

"Really?" Bucky groaned, his head poking out from around the corner. He glared at her, a dish towel slung over his shoulder. "That's one a day with you, I swear."

Unbothered, Alpine slunk back to her spot by the couch, watching him retreat to the kitchen. She stretched luxuriously, her claws extending and retracting, before shifting her focus back to the tree. The lower branches were fine for a warm-up, but the real challenge was higher up.

She crouched low, coiling her muscles like a spring. With a sudden leap, she launched herself onto the tree, her claws digging into the branches for stability. The ornaments swayed and jingled with her weight, the lights trembling as she climbed higher. A spray of tinsel fell to the floor, sparkling like confetti in her wake.

From the kitchen, there was a crash of pots, followed by a sharp, familiar yell. "ALPINE!"

Bucky stormed into the living room, his expression a mix of horror and disbelief. "Get out of the tree!"

Alpine paused midway up the trunk, one paw wrapped around a branch for balance. She tilted her head and blinked at him, feigning confusion. What tree? her expression seemed to say.

"Seriously?" Bucky muttered, rushing forward as the tree wobbled dangerously under her weight. He wrapped his arms around the trunk, trying to steady it, but Alpine was already on the move, climbing higher. She batted at a glittering snowflake ornament, sending it tumbling down.

"Alpine, come on!" he pleaded, his voice a mix of frustration and exhaustion.

Deciding she'd caused enough chaos for now, Alpine leaped gracefully from the tree, landing on the coffee table with a soft thump. Behind her, the tree swayed violently but, miraculously, stayed upright. Bucky let out a relieved sigh, muttering to himself as he began straightening the disheveled branches.

But Alpine wasn't done. Not yet. Spying an ornament she'd knocked loose earlier, she padded over and batted it across the floor, chasing it as it rolled in uneven circles.

"Of course," Bucky grumbled, shooting her a tired glare as he fixed the lights. "You're lucky it's Christmas."

Victorious, Alpine flicked her tail and nudged the ornament under the couch, where it would live forever. The tree might have survived round one, but Alpine knew she'd be back. After all, this was her domain. The tree, like everything else in the house, was hers. And it would never truly be safe—not as long as she was around.

Step 2: Wrapping Presents

Humans love to take perfectly good objects and wrap them in noisy, crinkly paper. This, dear friends, is your playground.

• When they roll out the paper, sit directly in the middle of it. This is your territory now.

• Attack the ribbon. It's sparkly, it moves, and it's yours. Shred it mercilessly.

• Bat bows around the room like the tiny foes they are.

• If they attempt to shoo you away, give them your most innocent look. Trust me, it works every time.

Remember: the true purpose of wrapping paper is not to hide presents but to entertain us.

Bucky had barely unrolled the first sheet of wrapping paper when Alpine appeared, materializing from thin air like some kind of crinkly paper clairvoyant. Her ears perked, her eyes gleaming with mischief as she trotted toward him. The sound of paper rustling was like a siren call, and Alpine couldn't resist. She hopped onto the pristine sheet and plopped herself dead center, her tail curling smugly around her paws like a queen settling on her throne.

"Alpine, move," Bucky said, already sounding defeated.

Alpine blinked at him, her wide blue eyes radiating an air of innocence so pure it was borderline insulting. She didn't flinch, didn't budge—didn't even acknowledge his request. When he leaned forward, his hand hovering to shoo her away, she stretched luxuriously, rolling onto her side and making sure to crinkle the paper as loudly as possible.

"Seriously?" he muttered, glaring down at her.

Unfazed, Alpine flicked her tail in slow, deliberate defiance. Bucky let out a heavy sigh and tried working around her, carefully trimming the paper without slicing it into fur. But as he reached for the spool of ribbon, Alpine's ears twitched. Her eyes locked onto the shiny strand as it unfurled, glinting temptingly in the light.

It was too much. With a swipe of her paw, she snagged the ribbon and pinned it to the floor like she'd just caught a wriggling snake.

"Alpine, no!" Bucky snapped, yanking at the ribbon.

Alpine growled softly, swatting again as the ribbon slipped from her grasp. He managed to pull it free and loop it around the box, but Alpine was faster. She pounced, grabbing the ribbon midair and rolling onto her back, clutching it triumphantly in her claws.

"Unbelievable," Bucky groaned, carefully untangling the ribbon from her paws.

He thought he was in the clear, but as soon as his attention shifted back to the gift, Alpine's gaze darted toward her next target: the bows. Shiny, colorful, and scattered across the floor, they were practically begging for her attention. She darted toward the nearest one and swatted it across the room with a triumphant chirp.

"Alpine!" Bucky's voice thundered, but the cat didn't even glance back.

She was already onto the next bow, batting it under the coffee table. It disappeared into the shadows, but Alpine didn't care—there were plenty more. She pounced on another, sliding it across the floor in a spectacularly clumsy arc.

Bucky dropped the roll of tape in his hand and ran both hands down his face. "Why do I even bother?" he muttered to himself.

By the time he turned back, Alpine had returned to the wrapping paper. Now re-rolled in an attempt to salvage it, the paper was no match for her claws. She flopped onto it with theatrical flair, purring loudly as she kneaded her paws into the sheet, puncturing it in several places. The noise was deafening, each crinkling like a personal victory.

Bucky crouched down, trying to salvage what little was left of his materials. "You are literally the worst," he grumbled, gathering the shredded remnants of the bows Alpine had massacred.

Alpine looked up at him with a satisfied gleam in her eyes, her purr vibrating through the room like applause for her own performance. She stretched lazily, flicking her tail in his direction as if to say, You're welcome.

To her, Bucky had it all wrong. Wrapping paper wasn't for gifts—it was a playground. Ribbons weren't for tying; they were for hunting. And bows? They were trophies meant to be batted under furniture where they'd remain for eternity. Judging by the chaotic mess around her, Alpine knew one thing for sure: she was using all of it exactly as it was intended.

Step 3: The Fire

Humans seem to think the fire is the heart of the holiday. While it's not bad—it's warm, after all—it's still no radiator.

• Claim the spot closest to the fire. If a human is already sitting there, stare at them until they move.

• Beware of stockings hanging nearby. They dangle tantalizingly but are oddly difficult to swat down. (Still worth a try.)

• Don't trust the fire's crackling noises. They're suspicious. Stay vigilant.

Alpine padded into the living room, tail high, ears twitching at the crackling sound coming from the fireplace. There it was: the humans' precious fire, flickering and glowing like it owned the room. Warm? Sure. Cozy? Maybe. But it wasn't a radiator, and Alpine wasn't about to let it think it was better than her favorite heat source.

Steve and Bucky sat on the couch, chatting and sipping from their mugs, perfectly positioned in the prime spot near the fire. This was unacceptable. Alpine needed that spot, and she needed it now.

She sat down in the middle of the rug, facing Steve with unblinking eyes. He caught her stare after a few seconds.

"What?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

Alpine kept staring, adding a soft, purposeful flick of her tail for emphasis. Move, human.

Steve glanced at Bucky. "Why is she looking at me like that?"

"She wants your spot," Bucky said without looking up, his tone dripping with familiarity.

"Well, she can't have it," Steve replied, leaning back as if to assert his dominance.

Challenge accepted. Alpine stood, marched over, and sat down directly in front of Steve's feet. She turned her head and gave him her best wide-eyed, sorrowful look. If her tail flicked a little too close to his mug, well, that was just a coincidence.

"Oh, come on," Steve muttered, already shifting uncomfortably. Alpine stared harder, her gaze now a mix of judgment and expectation.

"Just give her the spot," Bucky said, smirking from the other end of the couch. "You're not gonna win."

With a dramatic sigh, Steve stood and moved to the armchair. Alpine hopped into his vacated spot immediately, circling twice before curling up with smug precision. It was warm, sure, but not quite warm enough.

She turned her attention to the stockings hanging above the fire. They dangled there, swaying gently, clearly mocking her. Alpine stood up, stretched luxuriously, and then leapt onto the coffee table for a better angle.

"Alpine," Bucky warned, setting down his mug. "Don't even think about it."

She didn't think. She acted. Her paw shot out, claws extended, swiping at the nearest stocking. It swung wildly but didn't fall. Alpine tried again, harder this time, but the stupid thing just wouldn't come down. Frustrated, she let out a chirp of protest and glared at it.

"She's gonna take the whole mantel down if you let her," Steve said, crossing his arms.

"Alpine, get down," Bucky ordered, but she ignored him, swatting one last time for good measure before leaping gracefully back to the rug.

The fire popped loudly, and Alpine froze, her ears flattening. Suspicious. She crept closer, sniffing the air, her eyes narrowing at the flickering flames. It crackled again, and she backed up a step, tail puffing slightly.

"You're scared of the fire?" Steve asked, his tone tinged with amusement.

"She's not scared," Bucky said quickly, watching Alpine stalk the edge of the rug with exaggerated caution. "She's... being strategic."

Alpine shot him a glare. She wasn't scared. She was vigilant—a big difference.

Deciding the fire was sufficiently warned of her dominance, she returned to her spot on the couch and sprawled across the cushions. The humans were lucky to have her here, keeping them safe from suspicious crackles and rebellious stockings.

The fire might've been warm, but Alpine was still the heart of the holiday, and everyone in the room knew it.

Step 4: Snow

At some point, humans may open the door and expect you to appreciate "the snow." Do not fall for it.

• Snow is cold and wet and sticks to your paws like some form of winter torture. Avoid it at all costs.

• If they force you outside, make your disdain known with the most pitiful meow you can muster. Drag your feet dramatically and glare at them over your shoulder.

• When you come back inside, immediately seek out the warmest spot to recover from the betrayal. Preferably their lap, so they feel guilty.

The indignity of it all.

Alpine, supreme queen of her household, ruler of the warmest laps, and thief of unattended chili had endured many affronts in her life—but this? This was a betrayal of epic proportions.

They had dragged her out of her cozy suburban paradise and into the woods. She lifted a delicate paw and shook off the offending snow with a flick that was half disgust, half Shakespearean drama. Her little blue coat, while admittedly snug and warm, was nothing short of a betrayal. It wasn't fashion; it was imprisonment. She looked like a stuffed marshmallow, and the harness? Don't even get her started.

The leash tugged lightly, urging her to move forward. Alpine responded by planting all four paws firmly in the snow, her tail flicking sharply. The snow clung to her pristine white fur like a personal insult, the icy crystals melting into chilly droplets that seeped through her delicate coat. Why? she thought, her narrowed eyes shifting between the two lumbering buffoons who dared to call themselves her caretakers.

"Come on, baby girl, just a little farther," Bucky cooed, crouching down a few feet away with that infernal camera in his hands. The man had no shame; snapping pictures like her suffering was some kind of artistic masterpiece.

Alpine leveled him with a look that could have frozen the snow beneath his boots. Little farther? Farther from where I belong, you mean. My couch, my radiator, my perfectly curated kingdom? She huffed loudly, the frosty air curling from her mouth in a visible display of disdain.

Steve, the other giant, stood nearby, bundled in so many layers he looked like an overstuffed burrito. He grinned down at her, clearly finding her predicament amusing. "She's doing great," he said, his breath fogging in the cold.

Great? Alpine's tail lashed behind her. I'm being dragged through the frozen wilderness like a common peasant, and this is 'great'?

Her delicate paw lifted from the snow with an exaggerated flourish. She shook it violently, flinging icy flecks into the air before setting it back down with as much reluctance as she could muster. Every step forward was a performance of melodramatic resignation, but they didn't seem to care.

"Oh, she's so photogenic," Bucky muttered, clicking the phone camera again. "Look at that sass. She's got attitude."

Attitude? Alpine's ears flattened, her eyes narrowing. I'll show you attitude. Just wait until you leave your cereal bowl unattended tomorrow morning.

But it wasn't just the snow. No, the real insult was where they'd brought her. The cabin. The cabin. She glanced around at the surrounding woods with a mix of horror and disgust. Bare trees loomed overhead, their skeletal branches creaking in the icy wind. The ground was a patchwork of snow and uneven earth, with no sign of the soft carpet or gleaming hardwood she was accustomed to.

Alpine sniffed the air cautiously, catching the faint, earthy scent of pine mixed with something wild and unfamiliar. It was offensive. This place was a far cry from her suburban home, with its cozy nooks and warm sunbeams streaming through the windows. The cabin had its charms, sure, but it wasn't hers.

And now they wanted her to explore this frozen wasteland? She flicked her tail again, letting out a low, pitiful meow for emphasis.

"Oh, come on, it's not that bad," Bucky said, reaching out to scratch under her chin. She dodged his hand with a dramatic head tilt, making it clear she was not in the mood for his placations.

As if to make things worse, the leash tugged again, and Alpine begrudgingly took another step. This time, her paw sank deeper into the snow, and she froze in place, glaring down at it with wide, horrified eyes. She lifted her paw slowly, staring at the clumps of snow stuck between her toes like they were the cruelest form of punishment.

Bucky doubled over laughing. "Oh, my god, Stevie, look at her face. She's so mad."

"I don't blame her," Steve said, though he was grinning too. "We did kind of spring this on her."

Spring this on me? Alpine let out another theatrical sigh. You dragged me from my kingdom to this frostbitten hellscape without warning, and now you expect me to be grateful?

Bucky crouched again, holding up the phone and aiming it straight at her. "Come on, baby girl, just a few more shots. Give me that fierce model look."

I will knock that phone off into the toilet the next time your in the shower, Alpine thought as she stared directly into the lens with a withering glare.

When they finally—finally—seemed to get the message, Bucky scooped her up into his arms, cradling her against his chest. "There we go," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "All done, baby girl. Let's get you inside."

Alpine hissed softly but allowed the indignity; it was too cold to put up much of a fight. At least his arms were warm, and the cabin's glow was growing closer with every step.

As they reached the porch, Bucky grinned over his shoulder at Steve. "I'm putting these pictures on the Christmas card."

Alpine buried her face in his coat with a low growl. Not if I get to them first.

Bucky carried Alpine into the cabin, the warm air hitting her like a soft, cozy blanket after the betrayal of the outdoors. She let out a long, theatrical yowl, her voice echoing off the walls, just to ensure her displeasure was properly noted. You dare bring me out there and expect me to act like it was fun?

"Alright, alright, you little diva," Bucky muttered, setting her down on the bench by the front door. His tone was annoyingly affectionate, as though her suffering was adorable. Adorable? She wasn't adorable—she was a wronged queen demanding justice.

Her tail lashed as Bucky started unfastening her puffy blue jacket. She let out another mournful cry, a detailed list of grievances disguised as a single, ear-piercing yowl. Dragged me into the snow, stuffed me into this hideous contraption, laughed at my misery—your crimes will not go unpunished!

"Don't yell at me! You needed the jacket," Bucky protested, working the tiny zipper free. "It's freezing out there. You wanna catch a cold?"

Cold? Alpine narrowed her eyes at him. If I were meant to be cold, I'd have been born as a snowshoe hare. But I am not. I am a cat. A creature of warmth, comfort, and dignity, all of which you've stolen from me today.

As soon as the jacket came off, Alpine leaped off the wooden bench with all the grace of someone who absolutely did not appreciate being handled. She stalked away from the front door and her abuser, her fluffy tail held high, flicking once for emphasis. Behind her, Bucky muttered something about "ungrateful furballs," but Alpine didn't dignify him with a response.

Her mission was clear: she needed to find the other human.

Alpine padded into the living room, each step purposeful, her tail swishing behind her like a banner of disdain. She paused at the threshold, her sharp green eyes sweeping over the cabin's decor. It was... underwhelming. Cozy, sure, but in a way that felt manufactured—like the humans were trying too hard to make it seem charming. She sniffed as if to physically draw in all the reasons she disliked it, her whiskers twitching with disapproval.

Her gaze locked on the Christmas tree, a nearly identical twin to the one at home. It stood smugly in the corner, draped in twinkling lights and shimmering baubles, its branches heavy with ornaments that swayed invitingly. It was practically begging her to reach out a paw. But she knew better. This was just another of their pointless rules.

What is the point of hanging shiny, dangling objects if I'm not allowed to touch them? Alpine thought, her ears flicking backward in annoyance. She swished her tail, remembering every time her paw had been batted away at home. A tree with strict "No, Alpine!" rules was no tree worth respecting.

As her inspection of the room continued, her opinion of the cabin remained resolute: unimpressive. The furniture was soft but mismatched, the kind of pieces you'd tolerate, not cherish. The rug beneath her paws was too coarse for her liking, and the cushions on the couch looked lumpy. Everything here screamed temporary, and Alpine did not care for temporary. She liked her home: the routines, the warm, well-worn spots on the couch, the radiator she'd claimed as her personal throne.

I'll never understand these humans, she thought, her ears twitching as the fire popped again. They hang shiny, tempting objects on a tree and then act like I'm the unreasonable one for wanting to touch them. And those stockings? Useless. They don't even have treats in them. What's the point?

This cabin was tolerable, she supposed, but only because she was here to make it so. It wasn't home, and it certainly wasn't up to her standards.

There he was—the other human. The spare one. Steve. The one who didn't put her in silly outfits or shove a phone in her face. Steve was sprawles out on the couch, holding a book, his big frame sprawled out like he had nowhere else to be.

Perfect.

Alpine hopped onto his lap and immediately began her campaign. She stared up at him with wide, soulful eyes, her most effective weapon, and let out a soft, plaintive meow. Feed me, loyal subject. Prove your worth.

Steve's face broke into a smile as he set the book aside. "Oh, so now I'm the favorite?" he asked, reaching down to pet her.

Alpine leaned into his hand, purring softly as his warm fingers trailed along her back. Finally, someone was acting appropriately.

From the kitchen, Bucky's voice carried over. "She's probably trying to con you into feeding her. Don't let her win, Stevie!"

Con? Alpine's ears twitched at the insult, but she didn't look away from Steve. Instead, she meowed again, a touch louder this time, making her demands crystal clear.

"Too late," Steve said, chuckling as he gently set her back on the floor. He stretched, then headed to the kitchen, Alpine trotting at his heels like the commanding presence she was. "Can't have our little queen going hungry, can we?"

She shot Bucky a smug look as Steve opened the sacred cupboard and retrieved the most precious of treasures—a can of wet food. Her tail flicked in satisfaction as he popped the lid and scooped the fragrant feast into her bowl. See? This one knows what he's doing.

As Steve scooped the food into her bowl, Alpine purred loudly, her tail flicking in satisfaction. Finally, some justice in this household. She devoured the meal with gusto, savoring every bite. It wasn't that long ago that she'd been scraping by, scrounging behind gas stations and dodging cold, sleepless nights. Life here wasn't so bad—not with food like this.

While Steve washed the spoon, Alpine dined like royalty, savoring every bite. Life hadn't always been this good. Not so long ago, she'd been a scrappy dumpster kitten, scrounging for scraps behind gas stations and braving cold, lonely nights. She didn't like to think about those days, but they made moments like this all the sweeter. Her life wasn't all that bad—not with food like this.

When her bowl was empty and her stomach full, Alpine padded back into the living room, her paws light, and her mood improved. The fire crackled invitingly, and she jumped onto the couch, curling into a perfect ball right in front of the warmth.

The two humans joined her shortly after, Bucky flopping onto the couch next to Steve, the blonde's arm slung over the brunette shoulders. They both looked at her, their expressions soft, and Alpine allowed herself to feel a little smug. She had them wrapped around her paw, just as it should be.

"What do you think she's thinking about?" Bucky asked, leaning into Steve.

Steve laughed, rubbing his hand over Bucky's shoulder. "World domination, probably. Or figuring out how to knock over the Christmas tree."

Perhaps both, Alpine thought, cracking one eye open to glance at them. She offered a slow blink, a silent acknowledgment of their loyalty. They were idiots, but they were her idiots.

With a contented sigh, she tucked her nose under her paw and drifted off to sleep. Life with these two wasn't perfect, but it was warm, full of food, and—when they weren't stuffing her into coats or dragging her into the snow—pretty good.

Step 5: Christmas Cards

Humans love to send pictures of themselves during the holidays. Unfortunately, they will try to include you in these.

• If they attempt to pose you next to the tree or in front of the fire, resist. Go limp, twist around, or give them the back of your head for every shot.

• If they succeed in taking a photo, ensure you look unimpressed. This will make the card more authentic.

• When the cards arrive, sit on them. Knock them off the table. This will remind the humans who the real star of the holidays is—you.

The humans had outdone themselves with their ridiculous holiday traditions. Alpine watched from her perch on the back of the couch as Bucky and Steve shuffled around the living room, setting up some sort of photo shoot. The tree twinkled, the fire crackled, and a neatly folded blanket had been draped over the armchair like they were expecting royalty.

"Alpine!" Bucky called, holding a Santa hat in one hand and a determined look on his face. "Come here."

She narrowed her eyes. Absolutely not.

Bucky sighed and tried a new tactic, kneeling and holding out his hand. "Come on, girl. Just one picture, and we're done."

Alpine considered her options. She could stay here and make them chase her, but where was the fun in that? Slowly, she stretched and leapt down, sauntering toward him with exaggerated disinterest. Let them think she was cooperating.

The moment Bucky tried to pick her up, she went completely limp, her full weight dropping into his arms like she'd forgotten how bones worked.

"Oh, come on," he grumbled, shifting her awkwardly. "Steve, help me out."

Steve approached, camera in hand, and Alpine twisted suddenly, wriggling free and darting under the coffee table. From her vantage point, she watched as the humans sighed in unison, already looking defeated.

"I told you we should've just gotten a dog," Steve muttered.

Bucky crouched down to look at her. "Alpine, we're just trying to make a nice card. Can you work with us here?"

She blinked at him slowly, then turned her head, giving him a perfect view of the back of her ears.

"Fine. You win," Bucky muttered, standing. But Alpine wasn't done. As they reset the scene, she emerged from her hiding spot, climbing onto the chair they'd so lovingly prepared.

"Hey, she's sitting still!" Steve said, raising the camera.

Alpine waited until the perfect moment—just as the camera clicked—then yawned dramatically, her ears flattening and her expression one of sheer boredom.

"Really?" Bucky said, glaring at the screen.

"That's actually pretty funny," Steve chuckled, showing him the shot.

By the time the humans gave up and printed their cards, Alpine had moved on to her next target: the cards themselves. They sat in a neat stack on the coffee table, practically begging to be knocked over. She hopped onto the table, settled directly on top of the stack, and began grooming herself like she hadn't a care in the world.

"Alpine, those aren't for you!" Steve said, reaching for the cards.

She swatted his hand away and stretched out further, crumpling the envelopes beneath her.

"She's just reminding us who the star of this holiday is," Bucky said dryly, crossing his arms.

Alpine purred, satisfied. She didn't need to be in the humans' silly pictures. Everyone already knew the truth: this holiday—and the humans' sanity—revolved around her.

Step 6: Holiday Food

Humans feast during the holidays, but they will selfishly guard most of the food. This is unacceptable.

• Station yourself near the kitchen or dining table. Look adorable but hungry.

• If subtlety doesn't work, leap onto the counter and help yourself. Turkey, ham, and anything involving gravy are top-tier.

• Avoid candy canes. They smell strange and are disappointingly inedible.

The smells wafting from the kitchen were overwhelming—roasting meat, buttery rolls, and the tantalizing richness of gravy. Alpine crouched just outside the doorway, her nose twitching and tail flicking as she watched Bucky shuffle between the oven and the counter. He had been at it for hours, muttering under his breath about timers and seasoning. To Alpine, it was obvious: all this effort was clearly for her.

The humans were predictable. They always shared—eventually. But the trick was timing. Alpine stationed herself strategically near the dining table, her eyes wide and unblinking as she stared at Steve, who was slicing bread with precision. Occasionally, she let out a soft, pitiful meow for effect.

"She's giving me the look," Steve muttered to Bucky. "Like I haven't fed her in weeks."

"She's playing you," Bucky shot back without even looking up from his mashed potatoes. "Don't fall for it."

Fine. If pity wasn't working, it was time to escalate.

As Bucky turned to check on the ham, Alpine seized her chance. She leapt onto the counter with the agility of a gymnast, landing silently next to the cooling dish of turkey. The smell was heavenly, and before anyone could react, she snagged a piece with her paw and ducked under the table.

"Alpine!" Bucky's shout was immediate.

From her hiding spot, she could hear the slap of a dish towel against the counter. She took a victorious bite of the turkey, savoring the juicy perfection.

"Seriously?" Steve said, trying not to laugh. "She's like a ninja."

"She's like a menace," Bucky growled, bending down to glare at her. "Give it back!"

Alpine licked her paw, feigning innocence, the half-eaten piece of turkey tucked safely under her. She blinked slowly at Bucky, the picture of feline arrogance.

"Oh, come on," Bucky groaned, standing up and muttering to himself.

Alpine watched as he turned back to the counter, now more vigilant, but she wasn't done yet. She leapt back up a few minutes later when his guard was down, this time going for the gravy boat.

"Alpine, no!"

The commotion sent the humans scrambling, but Alpine was too quick, darting away with a gravy-dipped paw. The humans were shouting, but all Alpine heard was a triumph.

Candy canes, however, were another story. One sat abandoned on the counter, its shiny wrapper catching the light. Curious, Alpine sniffed it, only to recoil at the strange, minty scent. With a flick of her paw, she sent it flying to the floor where it could bother someone else. Disgusting.

By the time dinner was served, Alpine had claimed a seat under the table, strategically positioned to catch any falling crumbs. She watched smugly as Bucky set down the dishes, glaring at her like she was the villain of the holiday.

Little did he know, Alpine thought, licking her gravy-soaked paw, she was the hero this feast deserved.

Step 7: The Gift Exchange

Humans will gather around the tree and exchange boxes of things they don't need. Occasionally, they will give you gifts too.

• Ignore the gifts they give you. It's likely a toy you'll never touch or some boring treats.

• Instead, focus on the empty boxes and discarded wrapping paper. These are the real treasures.

• Jump into every box. Claim it. It's your throne now.

The living room looked like a holiday battlefield—a sea of torn wrapping paper, empty boxes, and shiny ribbons strewn across the floor. Alpine was in her element. Sitting primly in the center of the chaos, she watched her humans, Bucky and Steve, exchanging gifts under the tree. They were making far too much fuss over things that clearly didn't matter. The true treasures were right in front of her: crinkly paper, dangling ribbons, and boxes—oh, the glorious boxes.

"Look, Alpine," Steve said, holding out a small package wrapped in green paper. "This one's for you."

Alpine glanced at the box, then at Steve, her green eyes narrowing slightly. Did he honestly think she'd care about what was inside? She was far too busy surveying the mess to waste energy humoring him. With the dignity of a queen dismissing a court jester, she turned her attention to a crumpled ball of wrapping paper lying just out of reach.

She crouched low, tail flicking, and pounced, batting the paper across the floor. It skittered under the couch, but she didn't mind—there were plenty more.

"Guess she's not interested," Steve chuckled, setting the package aside.

"Typical," Bucky muttered, tearing into a box of his own. "We could've saved twenty bucks if we just gave her the garbage."

Alpine ignored their commentary. She had more important tasks at hand. A stray bow caught her eye, its shiny surface catching the light. She stalked it like prey, her claws unsheathing as she pounced. The bow slid across the floor, but she was relentless, chasing it under the coffee table and batting it back out into the open. Finally, she trapped it under her paw and gave it a triumphant bite before losing interest. There were still other treasures to claim.

And then she saw it: an empty box sitting near Bucky's feet. The perfect size for sitting, lounging, or both. She padded over, sniffing it with the cautious curiosity of a professional investigator. Satisfied, she hopped inside, turning in circles until she'd found just the right position.

"She gets a catnip toy and ignores it for a box," Bucky said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Priorities," Steve replied with a grin, watching Alpine settle into her new throne.

Alpine stretched luxuriously, her tail dangling lazily over the edge of the box. For a moment, she closed her eyes, basking in the triumph of her find. But peace never lasted long in her world. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a ribbon dangling from the arm of the couch. It swayed gently, taunting her.

Without hesitation, Alpine leapt from the box and tackled the ribbon mid-air, rolling onto her back as she shredded it with wild abandon. The humans' voices grew louder, but their words were irrelevant. She had won.

"Alpine, come on," Bucky groaned, crouching to pick up the pieces of ribbon. "That's the third one you've destroyed!"

Unbothered by his protests, Alpine sauntered back to her box and hopped in, resuming her royal position. She gave Bucky a slow blink—the feline equivalent of a mic drop.

Steve laughed, shaking his head. "I think she's having the best Christmas out of all of us."

Bucky sighed, glancing at the pile of toys and treats they'd bought her, now abandoned in favor of the box and wrapping paper. "Next year, we're just getting her an empty box and some paper. Save ourselves the trouble."

Alpine flicked her tail, smug satisfaction radiating from her small frame. Finally, they were starting to understand who the real star of Christmas was.

Step 8: Holiday Cheer

Humans will sing, laugh, and generally act even more absurd than usual. They'll also cuddle more, which is... tolerable.

• Indulge them when they try to include you in their "holiday spirit." Let them pet you for exactly as long as you feel like it.

• If they dress you in a Santa hat or a ridiculous sweater, go limp. Make them regret their choices.

• Occasionally grace them with a slow blink. This will make them feel like they've earned your approval, which keeps them manageable.

The living room buzzed with holiday cheer, the kind humans seemed to find contagious this time of year. Laughter and chatter filled the space as Bucky and Steve lounged on the couch, mugs of steaming cocoa in hand, trading stories and enjoying the cozy warmth of the fire. Alpine, perched on the arm of the couch, observed the scene with her usual mix of disdain and reluctant fondness. Humans were absurd creatures, but at least they served a purpose—sometimes.

Steve reached over, his hand hovering near her ears. "You feeling the holiday cheer, Alpine?" he asked, his voice soft and coaxing, like she was some simple-minded puppy who could be swayed by tone alone.

She allowed the intrusion, tilting her head slightly as his fingers scratched behind her ears. For a moment—just a moment—she leaned into the touch, her eyes half-closing in approval. But then, inevitably, he pushed his luck and scratched the wrong spot. Her tail flicked sharply in warning, and she sprang down from the arm of the couch with an air of offended dignity, leaving Steve mid-scratch and chuckling to himself.

"Guess that's a no," he said with a grin, watching as Alpine sauntered toward Bucky's chair.

Bucky snorted, one hand resting on the armrest as Alpine approached. "Yeah, that's her version of holiday cheer—gracing us with her presence until we overstep."

Despite his words, his hand reached out to stroke her head. Alpine tolerated it for a beat or two, closing her eyes briefly before pulling back. She had better things to do than indulge human attention all evening. Or so she thought.

That's when she saw it—the Santa hat.

Bucky held it up with a mischievous grin, his eyes narrowing playfully. "Come on, Alpine. Just for a second. You'll look cute."

Cute? Alpine didn't need some ridiculous human prop to be cute. Her ears flattened immediately as she glared at him, her tail twitching in annoyance. She considered bolting, but before she could make her escape, the hat was on her head.

Her response was immediate and dramatic. She went limp, collapsing onto the arm of the chair like the weight of the world—or at least the hat—was too much to bear.

Steve burst out laughing. "Oh my god, she's playing dead! Look at her!"

Bucky groaned, trying to adjust the hat as Alpine flopped over onto her side, her legs splayed in the most exaggerated display of misery she could muster. If he wanted her to wear this thing, he was going to suffer for it.

"She's fine," Bucky said, though even he was laughing as he wrestled with her limp form. "You're such a little diva."

Alpine didn't budge, her green eyes narrowing into a judgmental glare that could have peeled paint off the walls. After a few more failed attempts to make the hat look presentable, Bucky finally sighed and removed it, tossing it onto the couch with a defeated shake of his head.

As soon as the offending accessory was gone, Alpine sprang to her feet with an indignant shake; her fur fluffed as if to rid herself of the lingering humiliation.

"See?" Steve teased. "You ruined her mood."

"Yeah, well, she ruined my hat," Bucky muttered, gesturing to the crumpled mess now sitting on the couch.

Ignoring them both, Alpine climbed back onto the armrest she'd claimed earlier, settling down with her tail neatly curled around her paws. She gave Bucky a slow, deliberate blink—a signal of forgiveness, but just barely.

Steve grinned. "That was a mercy blink. She's letting you off easy."

Bucky groaned, slouching back in his chair. "I don't know why I even try with her."

Satisfied, Alpine tucked her paws beneath her chest, her eyes closing as the warmth of the fire and the sound of human chatter filled the room. Holiday cheer, she decided, was tolerable—so long as it remained on her terms. Naturally, she was winning.

Conclusion

The holidays can be chaotic, loud, and full of baffling traditions. But remember: you are the true center of the household, no matter what these humans celebrate. Use their festivities to your advantage. Play with their decorations, dominate their wrapping sessions, and claim their cozy spots.

And most importantly, when they look at you with those ridiculous grins and call you their "holiday miracle," accept it. After all, you are the greatest gift they could ever hope for.

Happy holidays, peasants.

-Alpine 🐾

Moodboard

Sif's Masterlist

Series Masterlist

[dapper-lil-arts]

this isnt a hate just a question. why do you draw tits so big???? like im just curious. idk im not judging i draw worse things and youre very cool but. why.

you must be new here. before i drew pony bs my job was to draw furry bs. 80% of my commissions involve tits that big. Business isnt as good as it was back then, but hey, I had to go all in on something rather than pussyfooting around with human sized tits. it is what it is yeah Ive been told I need to make them smaller for marketability but I'm fairly certain that I'll be unmarketable no matter what, so yknow

[fox-guardian]

Commissions are now OPEN!

[ID: A commission sheet with a purple, green, and orange background. A header reads "Fox-Guardian's Commissions!" with their fursona -- an orange, green, and purple fox with tentacle horns -- pointing to themself and saying "That's me!" Below are examples or different types of commissions. The first row is sketch commissions featuring Samama Khalid standing awkwardly with a confused expression. The first is less detailed and uncolored with more cartoony proportions and is marked as $10. The second is more detailed and uncolored with more realistic proportions and is $20. The last is the same level of detail as the second, now with flat colors, and is $30. The second row are lined commissions featuring Falin Touden standing and waving with a smile while holding her staff. Each are marked with lines for bust, waist-up, and fully body sizes with prices at each level. The uncolored lineart prices are $20, $25, and $30 respectively. The flat colored prices are $55, $60, and $65. And the fully rendered prices are $85, $90, and $95. Below is a footer with OP's fursona doodled at the bottom saying "I accept USD via Paypal! DM me for my order form!" and a list of things they will, won't, and might draw as follows: Will Draw: - Furries/Anthros - Humans/Humanoids - Non-explicit pinups - Simple robots

Won't Draw: - Explicit NSFW - Offensive/Hate - Mechas - Real people

Might Draw: - Gore (Realistic or Pastel) - Non-humanoid Monsters - Pets/Non-humanoid animals

end ID]

~~~~

I am opening THREE (3) commission slots for the time being!!

Not doing backgrounds, just a flat color, either your choice or white (or transparent)

Up to 2 characters, each will be priced fully (i.e. a Colored Sketch of one character is $30, so a Colored Sketch of two would be $60)

I'll do fanart or OCs

the rendering style isn't strictly the mostly cell-shaded, partial soft shaded style shown here if you'd prefer a different one i've done before. whichever you pick would be the same price <3

as the sheet says, DM me if you are interested and I will send you a link to my commission google form where you place your order, and will get back to you on whether or not I accept within 3 days of your form being submitted!

a couple more notes:

payment is upfront, and commissions over $30 must be paid partially upfront and partially throughout the process

if you are not 100% certain you will have the money to pay for a commission, please do not order one (if you get a big one tho and realize you can't afford the full thing after it's partially completed, we can arrange a downgrade so you can afford it if you'd like)

whether or not I accept a commission depends mostly on whether or not I feel I have the skill to execute it well. even it fits into the "will-draw" criteria, I may still not accept it

more information can be found in my form, thankies a bunchies uwu <3

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Vanessa!Swap AU

(in which Game!Vanessa and Movie!Vanessa swap universes)

“WHERE IS BONNIE?!” “WHERE IS MONTY?!”

Movie!Vanessa is baffled by the speaking abilities of the Glamrocks, while it takes Game!Vanessa a moment to realize that the OG Gang aren’t ignoring her, they just can’t speak.

The size of the Pizzaplex overwhelms Movie!Vanessa and gives her the opposite of claustrophobia. Game!Vanessa, however, is so happy to work in an establishment that she can fully walk through in under an hour.

Game!Vanessa: YOOO THIS PLACE IS SICK!!! i can walk from one side of the Pizzeria in less than ten minutes!!

Movie!Vanessa: WHERE AM I?!?!

The fact that the Pizzaplex is closed up so tightly at night worries Movie!Vanessa immensely. And then Game!Vanessa is so happy that she can LEAVE WHENEVER SHE WANTS. The doors aren’t grated or anything!! She can just WALK OUT!!

“WHAT HAPPENED TO BONNIE?!” “We don’t talk about Bonnie anymore… 😔” “WHAT?!”

Game!Vanessa @ the OG gang: can you really not talk? DAMN, that must SUCK! where i come from, my guys have PERFECT English. honestly, it’s probably better than mine. do you even understand what i’m saying? *proceeds to rant all night*

Movie!Vanessa: *holding DJ Music Man at gunpoint, shaking in terror*

Movie!Vanessa threatens to shoot so many different things.

She takes an actual shot at Sun because he scared the shit out her.

Mini Music Man also scares the shit out of her.

First, she tries to shoot him, then she trips, slams her head into the wall, and blacks out.

Movie!Vanessa sobbing in the Pizzaplex vs Game!Vanessa tearing up the dance floor to 80s music

Game!Vanessa @ Mike: who the FUCK are YOU

Game!Vanessa would be very dubious of Mike and Abby. But also: Game!Vanessa being like Mike’s other younger sister.

Would Glitchtrap go over with Game!Vanessa?? Because if he does…

Glitchtrap: WHY AM I AN AMERICAN

Game!Vanessa: HA YOU GOT COLONIZED

Game!Vanessa: *begins to scream in agony because Glitchtrap is attacking her brain*

Mike: what the fuck is wrong with you

If Glitchtrap doesn’t go with Game!Vanessa and just transfers into Movie!Vanessa’s head…

Well, she would probably end her life right then and there.

Meanwhile, Game!Vanessa: I’M FREE!! I’M FINALLY FREE!!!

Game!Vanessa won’t stop saying how rotund the OG Gang is.

Movie!Vanessa accidentally tases Monty because he startles her, and his resulting scream of agony makes her want to vomit because CAN THEY FEEL PAIN?!?!

One of the OG Gang stalks up to Game!Vanessa, and she’s just like “rude.”

She is completely unfazed to them trying to be “killer robots.”

Movie!Vanessa, after finding the Vanny suit: am i…a furry??????

DJMM has that improvise ability, so it’s canon that he makes themes for people, and the music immediately changes when Movie!Vanessa goes to West Arcade, and she perceives it as boss music.

The final scene of the movie, but Game!Vanessa and Movie!William make the animatronics fight each other because they’re both trying to control them.

It’s an all-out R-R-R-ROBOT FIGHT!!!!!

Game!Vanessa getting turnt on the dance floor, while Movie!Vanessa questions her own humanity when she sees Roxy having human problems.

Game!Vanessa: man i really hope my nudes don’t get leaked here, too

Mike: HUH

Movie!Vanessa would shoot Map Bot

“Take this ma—” 💥💥💥💥

The OSHA violations in the Pizzaplex would send Movie!Vanessa into the stratosphere

Movie!Vanessa would start writing tickets at the race track for speeding

Game!Vanessa keeps asking the animatronics to help her with her homework (none of them know math beyond addition and subtraction)

BONUS

Game!Vanessa: yeah, Mr. Afton—

Movie!Vanessa: HE MAKES YOU CALL HIM WHAT

DOUBLE BONUS

Game!Vanessa: your dad is inside me

Movie!Vanessa: WHAT

[butimnogirlstoy]

Commissions Open!!!!

We did it chat, commissions are finally available!! Here is the link to my Artistree.io!!

Basically everything but visualized:

I apologize for the roughness, but to make up for it, I can show examples of the art I offer! Apologies if some are low quality.

Of course, there is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much more art I can offer, but you'd have to look through my profiles to see other stuff I can do! I don't often post art from my sketchbook, but I'll try to so y'all can get a better feel! However, I'm only doing digital art commissions; anything traditional will be for people I know irl.

Here are my TOS/guidelines!!

-DO NOT rush me, especially if you commission me to draw something complex; gentle reminders are accepted!

-Payment is done before the art is given. No ifs, ands, or buts

-I can be negotiated with! But you must be convincing

-Paypal!!

-I'm a minor, don't make me draw weird shit

-Don't harass me, or I WILL block you

-Prices can go up or down, depending on how much time and energy it took to make something

-All drawings will be posted and publicized, but you can ask to keep it private

-Unless private, I have the right to do whatever I want with the art I make

-You as the commissioner have the right to do whatever you want with the art you receive, as long as you don't try and pass it as your own

-Refunds only done in a case where I physically and pathologically can not draw something for you; depending on how far I'm in the process

I can/will draw: Furries, cartoon stuff, object characters, robots, semi-stylized-realism, plus-sized people, POC, simple objects, fun angles, fun poses, rubber hose, humanoid characters, humans, fandom characters, really cartoon animals, heavy/dark themes and symbolism, blood, mild gore, ships

Maybe: Semi-realism, POC textured hairs (I'm not very advanced or familiar with some hairstyles! Sorry!), semi-anatomically correct animals, more complex robot design, flirty/silly suggestive art, pregnancy (non-fetish, simple art style only)

Will not/can not: Anything hateful and discriminative, NSFW, graphic gore, fresh, graphic self-harm scars, incest, proship, CSAM/CP, fetish content of any kind, pornography, anything suggestive with minors or literal animals,

-By commissioning me, you are agreeing to all these terms of service

-By accepting your commission, I, as the artist, am agreeing to your rights as my commissioner

Other Sites/Ways of contacting me

Discord: hung0vertcart00n

Tumblr: @butimnogirlstoy

DeviantArt: LavWolf

Instagram: @deviouslyrad

TikTok: @chatimliterallykitty

That's all, Katzy/Julius signing out!!

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Love the Fur, Hate the Fuzz (1)

Tucker takes his boyfriend Wulf on a date to the one place where a ghostly wolf-man won't raise any eyebrows: A furry convention. At first, it goes better than perfect, but on day two, it's just one problem after another.

For the prompts: Write a Tucker POV/Center another prompt around Tucker {from Akela}, Tucker goes to a furry convention and finds Kwan there. {from @sailor-toni}, Use the color "Green" in your story. {from Warvik}, and "Question one: why did you think punching it would work? Question two: why did punching it work?" {from Mel}

Read also on AO3 | Chapter 2 on Tumblr

Chapter 1: Day One of the Con

Truth be told, Tucker had always hated Chicago. It wasn't called "The Windy City" for nothing—it was always terrible hat weather, which was a serious mark against it for Tucker, who always sported his signature red beret. The buildings in the metropolitan area of the city were so tall you could barely see the sky they were scraping, the El train was loud as all get-out, and the people tended to be on the ruder side of what Tucker considered acceptable.

The city did have one thing going for it, though: Great Lakes Furry Con, the biggest annual gathering of furries in the Midwest. Tucker had only had the opportunity to go once before, last year, and even though his mom had insisted on going with him, he still managed to enjoy himself immensely and was excited to go again. Especially since his mom agreed she didn't have to be there this year (she had not enjoyed it as much as Tucker had), so instead, he was bringing his boyfriend along.

When the idea had come to him, Tucker had been absolutely ecstatic. As much as he liked the Ghost Zone and obscure locations with no cell service, the idea of taking Wulf on a date somewhere in the human realm where the wolf-man wouldn't seem the slightest bit out of place had made him so excited he couldn't even sleep until he'd pitched it to Wulf directly. Even though Wulf had no idea what a furry convention was, he'd immediately agreed with a fond look on his face, clearly just endeared by Tucker's enthusiasm. Not that Tucker minded.

He'd been looking forward to this ever since, and today was finally the day. Last time he'd gone, he'd had to wake up at 5am to avoid commuter traffic on the drive there with his mom. But this time, the commute was a matter of seconds thanks to Wulf's ghost portal powers, and they got there just after the doors opened at eight. Tucker's boyfriend was both cool and convenient.

They did still have to wait in line to check in at the registration desk, but it went a lot faster than Tucker was expecting. When he and Wulf got to the front, the receptionist's eyes immediately widened upon seeing the wolf-man.

"Holy shit that fursuit is freaking incredible, dude!" She said. "It even looks like it's breathing, it must be engineered to hell. Did you make it yourself? Mad respect man."

Wulf looked to Tucker for translation, and the nerd conveyed in Esperanto that the woman thought he looked cool.

"Dankon," Wulf thanked, nodding a little awkwardly.

"He says thanks," Tucker told her. "We'll both be under Foley, Tucker and Wulf, with a 'U' instead of an 'O'. And yes, that is his actual name. Lucky, huh?"

"No kidding," the receptionist agreed, flipping through the name badges with surprising deftness considering her cat paw gloves. "Here you go, guys. Enjoy the con!" She handed over two attendee badges and two tote bags full of swag and promotional material.

Tucker took them and he and Wulf stepped to a wall inside to put the lanyards on and sift through the bags for the map and schedule. While they did that, Tucker also took a moment to take stock of the other people around them, both in line, and milling about the hotel lobby.

Just as he'd suspected, Wulf fit right in. Neither his size nor form were the slightest bit out of place next to the 6'3" hot pink jaguar in platform club heels, and the ogling looks he was getting were a far cry from the looks of fear and alarm he was accustomed to getting. Tucker might've been jealous if Wulf didn't look so cute when he was embarrassed.

Tucker himself did not have a fursuit because he had neither the money nor the skills to acquire one as of yet, but he was sporting a wolf tail clipped to the back of his belt as well as a t-shirt with a shirtless anthro-wolf on it, pictured with a full moon overhead and the caption "AWOOOO-GA!" 

Once he had the map in front of him, he pulled up the schedule for the weekend on his PDA. They were registered for Friday and Saturday—he would have signed them up for Sunday too, but he was already missing a day of school for this because the session he was most excited for was Friday and his parents insisted that he have all his classwork done by Monday or they wouldn't let him come back next year. Still, two days having fun with his boyfriend was worth it.

"I signed us up for the Fursuit Engineering session when I bought the tickets because I was really interested in that one," Tucker said in Esperanto. "And I signed us up for the Dog Park Hour because it seemed like it would be fun to do together, and the Disney's Robin Hood viewing party tonight because you've never seen it and that's a crime because that movie was formative for me."

"I don't know what any of that is except the movie," Wulf replied. "I don't think half those words were even Esperanto."

"You'll just see when we do them. I think you'll pick it up pretty quick," Tuck assured. "Tomorrow is the fursuit parade which I hope you'll participate in, because I wanna show off how cool my boyfriend is. There's also the dance party, and the Furries in Tech panel which I also signed us up for. We should have plenty of time to socialize and check out the Dealer's Den and stuff like that in-between. I know this is your first time, so I tried not to over-schedule us. We have an hour before our first session if you want to check out some booths now."

"I think I would prefer to get the lay of the land first."

"Sounds good to me!"

At Wulf's suggestion, the pair of them explored all the parts of the hotel where the convention was being held. It was a pretty nice place, and a lot of people stopped them to compliment Wulf's "fursuit" and ask for a picture. Tucker happily translated every compliment, from "Those glowing eyes look fire" to "Would it be too much if I asked you to step on me? Hahaha!" and watched Wulf get increasingly flustered by the positive attention.

When it was about time for their session to start, they had pretty much gotten their bearings and made their way over to the classroom in time for Tucker to get a good seat. The front row was already full, but fourth row wasn't too bad. Wulf opted to sit on the floor so as not to obscure the view of whatever poor sap got stuck behind him, so Tuck took the seat at the end right next to him and pulled out his PDA to take notes. 

This session was, as one may have guessed, all about incorporating engineering into fursuits, techniques and equipment to make the mouth open and close, the eyes blink, or light up, or to make them easily replaceable to allow for quick color changes. Tucker eagerly drank up all the information. He'd been wanting to make his own fursuit for a while, but there was no way he was going to do it halfway—especially not when the materials cost almost as much as commissioning someone else to make one for him.

Not long after the session ended was the dog park hour, which took place in the hotel's beautiful outdoor courtyard. It was aimed primarily at those with dog fursonas but open to all, and was basically a semi-organized outdoor playtime. A bit like recess. There were conference staff leading various ice-breaker games, some people milling about just socializing, and a pretty intense game of Frisbee, which Wulf immediately joined in on, making everyone laugh—both amused and visibly impressed—when he repeatedly caught the Frisbee in his mouth. 

Wulf was the center of attention in the best way, which was well-deserved in Tucker's expert opinion. He was pleased to see other people as enamored by Wulf as he was, and glad that none of them seemed put off by his inability to speak English, or Tucker's translating. He'd never had so many opportunities to say: "Sorry, but this fine specimen is all mine," and he was loving it.

So, yeah. Overall, the first day of the convention went even better than Tucker could have hoped. He did have to make up some quick lies about Wulf "fursuit" but he'd been prepared for that. They spent most of the afternoon wandering Artist Alley and the Dealer's Den, where Tucker found a super-sized, customizable TY tag at a table selling fursuit accessories and insisted on buying it for Wulf, writing his name, a silly little poem about him, and their anniversary as his birthday, since neither of them knew what his actual birthday was.

Wulf didn't really get the joke, but he liked that it made Tucker happy, so he tied it around his neck and wore it the rest of the day.

After the movie (which Wulf enjoyed, though he didn't understand what part of it had been "formative" for Tucker—Tucker was too embarrassed to explain), Wulf opened a portal to take Tucker home. Then he insisted against staying over, much to the boy's dismay.

That night, Tucker slept fitfully, too excited to do it all again the following morning.

[spitdrunken]

I haven't been able to stop thinking about pokemon characters getting home early or coming upon their girlfriend reader accidentally and seeing the reader being fucked by one (or some) of her partner pokemon! Maybe Maxie findinder the reader in an empty room at the team magma base with her grunt uniform shifted aside and her camerupt covering her with his furry cock shoved inside her and she's in complete shivering mindless bliss, face down ass up slowly rocking herself back and forth on that dick. He didn't know she was fucking pokemon because of course she tried to keep it secret, but he loves seeing it and it turns him on immensely. Or any other characters in that kind of situation!

I'm not comfortable yet (and I don't know if I ever will be) to post about pokephilia on my own, but I wanted to share my fantasy of being caught getting fucked by your pokemon by your character s/o! It's just so hot to me

it makes complete sense that you're not comfortable to post it on your own! it's a controversial topic at that best of times... im just glad my blog feels 'safe' enough for you to share your thoughts <33!! and anon, how does it feel to have such a big brain???? because..... GOOD THOUGHTS.

notes: pokephilia, cheating (maxie is kinda into it but. tagging just in case), cucking, large size difference

Maxie is such a good fit for this idea, especially!

Wheras someone like Archie would just stomp over and start yelling obscenities until the end of time, and rightfully so, Maxie might be… Unexpectedly into this? You don't know he's there, and you don't know he's watching. (Having a burning, throbbing cock almost as thick as your arm inside you does things like that to a girl.) But your partner is listening to all of your strangled gasps, his own cock straining against his underwear, face flushed bright red with a mixture of humiliation, mortification, and arousal.

When you shift around, changing your position so your leaning on your elbows instead of your hands, Maxie can see your stomach bulging with the girth from his own partner Pokémon's cock. Upon seeing it, all he can think is that you must be forever ruined at this point, aren't you? How could any human, how could he ever satisfy you again, after this?

Knowing Maxie though, he'd try to get a bit closer unnoticed, only to trip and fall, or for his glasses to somehow clatter off of his face in the process.

[yearningaces]

Is it too much to ask this Halloween, to be surrounded by the loving embrace of a horrific nightmare of a sentient creature who adores me and is so gentle but terrifies anyone who dares to get close enough to see their visage? I'll wear a mask so I don't get scared either idgaf

...

Actually...

Did you know exactly what they were? No.

Did you even know what gender or even what creature? Also no.

But they were sentient, and they adored you. You'd been stuck in the darkness of an abandoned house the first time you met. Out of fear of what you were moments from seeing and fear of the situation of being locked in here by those who were supposed to be your friends, you covered your eyes.

And they appeared. Urging you to keep your eyes closed as they approached. Sometimes you'd feel massive paws gingerly guiding your blinded self. Sometimes it was harsh talons that held you with care. On the occasion something akin to a tail was placed in your hands for you to follow them as they wandered.

And as long as you keep your eyes covered and closed, they could remain close and adore you the way they demanded to.

And now any time it's dark enough you can't see, any time the lights go out or you so much as cover your eyes, you feel them reaching out. Some days it's a massive fur covered soft and plush form with a fang filled maw the size of your toreso nuzzling against you. Other days it's the lightest pressure of a miniscule figure sitting on your shoulder, curled up against your neck with leathery skin and a thin tail.

On the strangest days you feel like you're being held in a massive pair of hands, able to fit in the palms of your unseen companion.

And you never questioned why you needed to keep your eyes covered, until one day that is.

They felt similar to a bear today, massive, furry, chubby, and rumbling deep in their toreso as they held onto you while you both simply lounged on the forest floor.

You had a silk scarf tied around your head to cover your eyes, a gift they'd presented months ago. You saw nothing but could feel every touch and hear every soft adoring word they uttered to you in enamored affection.

Until they froze, their grip tightening just slightly and you heard footsteps approaching. But they didn't try to hide or move, they simply sat and quietly asked you to keep your blindfold on.

You didn't understand until you heard panicked exclamations from someone who must have just gotten close enough to see your companion.

And the screaming began.

Pained, panicked, throat tearing screeches as if someone was being driven mad rang out in the otherwise silent forest. Your companion placed a massive paw over the side of your head, covering your ear and pressing your other ear against their chest. The noise muffled as the screaming grew wetter and wetter, before devolving into a strangled gurgling sound. Eventually a quiet 'thud'.

And all was silent.

After a long time, they uncover your ears but continue holding you close.

"That is why you must never look upon my appearance, precious one." Was all they said, in the calmest tone.

You never found a body. They made certain you didn't. They brought you home and waited to leave until you were asleep, removing any trace of what happened because they were just so considerate of their favorite precious human.

Just keep your eyes closed, keep the blindfolds on, and you will be adored and treasured like never before for the rest of your life.

Not a terrible trade off, right?

[pennandquill]

anyway while i work out the kinks, wouldn’t it be really funny to imagine a modern supernatural werewolf/vampire komahina au, where the entire dr cast live in one neighborhood under an HOA, in a little community that all gets along?

well, except for two of the neighbors. ever since they moved in, hinata and komaeda have been at odds for as long as anyone can remember. but no one’s entirely sure why. maybe it has to do with the fact that hinata’s sprinklers always overpour into komaeda’s yard and overwater his plants. or maybe it’s because komaeda keeps accidentally taking hinata’s mail from his mailbox (somehow without a key?).

who knows? either way, the two of them are weird in their own ways. the others say they’ve seen komaeda coming and going from his home at odd hours of the night only, and the few times he’s come out in the daylight, it’s with an umbrella because he “burns easily” in the sun. a few have reported in their neighborhood meetings hearing a loud dog barking occasionally from hinata’s home, and he tells them it’s just his dog. but since when has he ever been seen taking that dog on a walk? what even is the dog’s name?

no one even notices the NO DOGS ALLOWED rug on komaeda’s front porch, or the garden filled with garlic in hinata’s backyard. they don’t notice the strange holes that end up dug between the fence lines, or the random splotches of red that occasionally appear on komaeda’s driveway. well, they don’t notice any of these things until one night, when something large barrels through souda’s backyard fence.

he tells them it was a beast, something hairy with fangs and twice the size of him. but that can’t be. monsters don’t live amongst humans, and they certainly would notice a large hairy beast roaming their streets, wouldn’t they?

it’s komaeda who assures the others in the neighborhood watch meeting, convincing them it was just hinata’s dog souda must have seen that night, who escaped while he was dogsitting for hinata.

komaeda storms over to hinata’s house after the meeting to find a freshly transformed-back hinata, where he all but chews him out because how could be be so stupid? he could have been discovered, and then what? he’d be thrown out, shunned, or even worse, hunted, like the old days.

“it doesn’t concern you,” is what hinata tells him, clearly annoyed by his least favorite neighbor. but oh, it does concern komaeda, because if the others find out there’s one monster living in the neighborhood, what makes him think they won’t begin to wonder if there might be another one? that the little strange habits of komaeda’s are more than just quirks, and more so traits of a vampire?

he’s not going to risk getting staked over a fleabag’s inability to control himself during a full moon. but it’s fine, for now anyway, because komaeda took care of it. no one suspects a thing.

well, no one except for souda, who’s still a little mad about the meeting. he knows what he saw, damn it! that thing was a huge, scary, furry monster, and it totally destroyed his fence and trampled all over his things! and he’s going to prove it!

with the help of sonia, and the unfortunate, reluctant aid of tanaka as well, souda is determined to get to the bottom of this and be the hero of their beloved community (and maybe then sonia will finally give him a chance!). and first things first, he knows komaeda is hiding something.

the dude barely shows up to their meetings, yet all of a sudden he’s leading the conversation? and on top of that, everyone knows komaeda and hinata don’t get along, but yet komaeda was dogsitting for hinata? give him a break, he can be a little slow on the uptake, but he’s not stupid. something is fishy. and he’s going to figure it out.

when hinata and komaeda realize that the others are beginning to catch onto them, they must put aside their species’ centuries-long rivalry and work together to convince everyone that they are perfectly normal, law-abiding, fangless, appropriately hairy humans. how are they gonna do that? well . . . they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it. and who knows? maybe all that time they spend together trying to figure something out will spark something new.

after all, it’s just like that old saying: all’s fair in love and HOA meetings (yeah, that’s definitely it).

[jimothy-g-brooks]

Powers Born Of Darkness

Umbrae

Kindle For Dark Souls Requirement: Subsumed By Another's Shadow or Tainted Echo

The character becomes a beacon for certain spirits, gaining the Resonant condition for any spirits associated with his Vice or Acts Of Cruelty the character has committed recently, chronically or "importantly" (ST's decision, such as whatever Act first Darkened them or something that significantly harmed the Light-Touched.). These spirits see the character as friend, ally and dependant, viewing him as something to aid and care for, however the spirit interprets that impulse. While around the character, these spirits have the Reaching condition with the character himself acting as the conduit through the Gauntlet. Drawback: Much like its requisite, you are now the subject of interest to rather unwholesome spirits when being a subject of interest to spirits in the first place is already a problem.

Mad Dogs' Master Any non-human mammalian animal the character befriends will become infected with a Dark-touched version of rabies, where the Acute Neurologic Period last fives times as long before death occurs and always takes the form of Furious rabies, and the other stages are halved. Otherwise, the disease is no more or less difficult to cure if caught early enough.

Even in the stages of rabid madness, the animal will not attack the character and always recognize him as a friend. Its disease can spread to other mammals via bite, including humans, but acts like normal rabies in these instances.

Drawback: All your little furry friends go rabid, mate.

Tainted Echo The character emits a Tainted Echo, a dark mockery of the one produced by the Light Touched. Whenever he acts in accordance with his Vice in a way that others notice, he rolls Presence + Shadows. On a success, those witnesses gain the Inspired Condition, as does the character himself on an exceptional success, for actions related to his Vice.

Drawback: The character is riven with a showy impulse; whenever the opportunity would present itself to act upon his Vice in an open and obvious manner, he must roll Composure + Resolve to not do so.

But that is hardly the worst of it: He is now indubitably marked in the same way the Echo of the Light Touched does. He and anyone his Echo affects, though especially himself, will stand out to the unenhanced senses of the Light Touched. Even without Occult knowledge, they will know what he is and they will feel what he has done to others.

Caligines

Blasphemous Invocation (•-•••••)

Action: Reflexive Dice: unrolled Cost: 1 Shadow Duration: instant Requirement: Membership to a Dark Cult, Inner Night

The character gained the power to call upon the horrid beliefs of his cult to fuel his every action, or at least actions that correlate with the philosophy and imagery of the cult. Each cult should have their own Blasphemous Invocation with its own Greek, Latin or Italian name, its own set of limitations for when it may be used and a ban that is antithetical to the cult's philosophy that causes the cultist to lose access to the invocation until such time as a unique penance has been made.

For every dot of this caligo the character has, he may spend a Shadow to add that many dice to any appropriate roll.

Dark Panoply (•-•••••)

Action: Reflexive Dice: unrolled Cost: 1 Willpower Duration: instant

The character has the ability to put discrete inanimate and inactive objects in his grasp and control into a pocket dimension inside the Dark World, or a kind of Dark World-adjacent Twilight. He may also conjure that object back out, in whatever configuration on or around his person. IE, he can conjure body armor on himself or a car with himself in the driver's seat. Summoning and banishing items cost a Willpower each. 

The Size of the object the character may summon and banish in this way is limited to twice his dots in this caligo. At 5-dots, the character may spend an additional WP for every size larger than 10.

Bane Of Nights (••)

Action: Reflexive Dice: unrolled Cost: 1 Willpower Duration: 1 scene

Whenever a character uses a caligo such as Loathsome Weapon, Shadow Blade or Vile Gobbets, or benefits from the Umbra of the very former, he may choose to imbue it with the mystical properties of a physical material chosen when learning this caligo. So long as he has a sample on his person, he can turn his weapon into the bane of any supernatural creature weak to that material. For obvious reasons, jade is not an eligible target for this.

Monstrous Transformation (••)

Action: Full Turn Cost: 1 Willpower Duration: 1 scene

In a single, drawn out transformation, the character unfurls every dark power he has obtained all at once and becomes a sickening monster. By spending 1 point of Willpower, the character may choose any of the following caligines that he already knows: Diminutive Size, Grotesque Bulk, Loathsome Weapon, Night Air, Vile Gobbets, Void Blast & Zombie Flesh. For the rest of the scene, each chosen caligo is activated as if the character spent a point of Willpower on each of them.

Accursed Baleful Stone (•••)

Action: Extended, 10 minutes/roll Dice pool: Intelligence or Stamina + Occult + Shadows Cost: 1 Willpower + 1 Lethal Damage Duration: Indefinite

When learning this caligo, the character chooses a material with some kind of unholy or dark significance to their imagination; onyx or obsidian are the most common choices. Once set the character would have to learn a new version of the caligo to be able to use a different material.

At the beginning, the character has a set volume of balestone that they want to end up with and therefore must start with a volume of material of equal worth to the same volume of jade as the desired end product. (If the chosen material has greater worth by volume than jade, then a filler material, such as clay, will be necessary.) During a 10 minute ritual, the character injures themselves and uses their blood on the material, either scrawling complex sigils or breathlessly pouring their hatred into their blood.

Dramatic Failure: The blood curdles and devours the material, dragging it into the Dark World and leaving the character with nothing. Failure: Nothing happens, blood and will are wasted. Success: You end up with a volume of balestone with all of the same physical properties as jade, but still outwardly resembling the original material save on close inspection. Mystically, the balestone's properties are the inversion of jade, acting as a bane towards all things touched by the Light, nobles, beacons, sworn & shikigami, as jade does to things shaped by Darkness. Exceptional Success: If there are ways to undo the touch of Darkness and return the balestone to its original and uncursed state, then this sample of the material is especially resilient to such attempts and will require an Exceptional Success in turn to succeed.

Merits

Withering (•••)

Must be Darkened or a Creature Of Darkness

The Dark Being accepts some form of cruelty not only as part of their nature and way of life, but as a legitimate and even positive philosophy. Not just paying lip service to it to justify their awfulness, but truly believing in it as some form of enlightenment, or endarkening.

There may be other ways to achieve Withering, after resolving to commit heinous acts most foul or moments of overwhelming hate that calls to the Darkness. A philosophical enlightenment of cruelty or religious awakening of evil is just the most common method of attaining this uncommon trait.

Characters that undergo the Withering gain traits similar to that of one of the Dethroned. They gain Inner Night, starting at one dot. They may purchase further dots at five xp a piece. They do not gain access to the Dethroneds’ Chains. This grants the character Supernatural Tolerance and adds to their sensitivity rolls.