#music is the most important thing to her proving she is sane and she does psychedelic drugs to keep her mind healthy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spaced0lphin · 4 years ago

Text

Answering Some Fluff Stuff

For the Fluff:

1. What are things they both find funny? 2. If they could each describe each other in one sentence, what would it be? 3. If they complimented each other, what would they say? 4. What would be their ship name? 5. What activities do they enjoy together? 6. What is/are their love language(s)? 7. Write a ~300 word love scene for them. 8. What were their first impressions of each other?

1. Both of them find deadpan humour very satisfying. Bailie likes to overstate things, Jeff likes to understate them. Somewhere in the middle is something resembling reality. Jeff thinks puns are funny on their own for the most part, but Bailie’s tired, withering and generally sickened reactions to them are funnier.

2. “My favourite pain in the ass.” “My favourite pain in the Reaper’s ass...es? If they have them. I’m guessing they do, right? For the purposes of this sentence, they have them.”

3. “You are the most fearless and loyal man I ever met, you know just what to say to keep me sane when you need to, and what to say to drive me crazy when you want to.” “... Uh, you’re not so bad yourself.” 4. “Bailoker? Jokailie? Um... Ah, how about Baileff, because it’s almost a word?” “Heh. Jebailie, because it’s almost a meme.” 5. When not at work, they just generally like being around each other. They’ve been known to watch old vids together, and it’s a somewhat secret desire of Jeff’s that they will fly something together, someday. Bailie is bad at relaxing although she tries not realising that ‘trying’ is antithetical to relaxing, and Jeff is all about it - just comes naturally to him. They do a lot of things apart from each other by necessity, but when the day is done, they love to come together to talk about it. 6. Bailie’s love language is direct, tempered by seemingly endless founts of patience and a willingness not only to listen, but to move heaven and earth to accommodate. She is all about giving the unscheduled, unexpected gift that she will have thought for hours about. Her love language is often literally language as well; she composes haiku to help her slow down and analyse her thoughts, although it’s rare that she shares one. If she does, it’s something she considers important, and an exercise of trust. Bailie goes out of her way to give gestures and go the extra mile for anyone she cares about -- in a romantic context this goes a hundredfold. For emotional and sensory reasons she’s not a particularly touchy-feely person under most circumstances, even with close friends, but is absolutely a real cuddler for the right person and craves their touch. Jeff’s is similar in some ways, but crucially different in that his is distinctly indirect. He will say or do something nice... then downplay it, or say it was actually for another purpose altogether, not just the one that benefits you, you know. It’s fine, don’t get excited about it or whatever. In fact, just forget about it. Don’t forget that I’m great, though, because I totally am. But forget about the thing I said or did. He is very keenly observant and naturally very empathetic, something he has defense mechanisms to cover for in other situations. This natural empathy makes him an intuitive and active listener, in stark contrast to other aspects of his daily life. He maintains lists of music and media that remind him of people he cares about, his longest list being one titled “Def Sheppard.” His love language can also get quite physical in the right contexts, because for him, physicality involves a lot of trust. He’s a cuddler too, is what I’m saying. Very privately, he is a complete and utter sap. A total, desperate, hopeless romantic. But you didn’t hear it from me. 7. See the entirety of my fic... I’m exhausted lmao I’m literally going to bed 8. Bailie’s first impressions of Jeff were of a confusingly scruffy, standoffish and somewhat macho helmsman -- Kinda typical for pilots, really, save for the scruffy bit. That was unusual. Still, every pilot is preening in their own unique way. She had a feeling about him, and the more she listened, the more she liked. Also when he turned around in his seat to speak to her, the light caught him a very particular way and, he was actually pretty handsome... if scruffy. His first impressions of her were mostly her looks, if he’s honest with himself. Not many women in the Alliance just waltz around with their hair all shaved off, that’s for sure. A bit weird, but it made her eyes really really stand out though. Nice to look at... But just another in a long line of superior officers with something to prove who’d probably figure he had something to prove to them, too. Especially when the time came to look in his file... which she would... because they all did...

#tbmsfic #tbmswip #otp #bailie shepard #bailieshepard

8 notes · View notes

p-and-p-admin · 4 years ago

Photo

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group. (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Ciule and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for sitting down with us for a chat.

SS/HG readers might be familiar with your stories “Awkward” and “Headmaster’s Wife”.

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? Well, I sort of took one of my real names, swirled the letters around in the air with my imaginary wand, and I ended up with this. Can’t begin to imagine where I got the idea from... ;-) Later on, I realized that Ciule is actually a name in Romania. I had no idea, but there are people out there carrying this name for real. I guess I’m #sorrynotsorry? Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most? To be quite frank: No one, really. This is more about the characters I like, than truly identifying with them. I can relate to parts of some of them, but not the whole package. Primarily, I write about Hermione, Voldemort and Severus, and the one common thread between those three is the search for knowledge. That’s a trait I can identify with, but I’m neither an evil bastard, a grumpy protector nor a fretting, intelligent activist. I am, however, a swot. If you had asked who I’d want to be, the answer is clear. I want to be Albus Dumbledore. Though I can’t agree with the things he did, I feel absolutely certain that he’s the one who has the most fun during the books. I want to have that twinkling fun in face of absolute chaos. Do you have a favourite genre to read (not in fic, just in general)? Fantasy! Definitely fantasy. While growing up, I read ‘everything’ in every genre, and in my twenties, I decided I’d spend my time reading what I loved the most. So, fantasy it is. Do you have a favourite "classic" novel? You landed me in an existential crisis right there. I mean, there’s so many to choose from! ‘Wuthering Heights’, I think. It hurts so good. Or maybe ‘Rebecca’, at least, I loved that when I was younger. Or the fairly obscure ‘Lorna Doone.’ When I was a kid, I wanted to be a film director, shooting Lorna Doone into an epic film. Oh well, there might be a theme in this selection of books which reflects in my writing… At what age did you start writing? The creative process has gone on since forever. I’ve told myself thousands of stories in my head, but rarely written anything down. At the age of ten, I had a co-writing project with one of my friends. We created this secret room in her basement, and painstakingly wrote a ‘novel’. It was fun, though the writing ended as it became too cold down in the basement during winter. How did you get into writing fanfiction? In 2009, I became completely obsessed with a TV-show in the last episode. I was watching the entire series, casually enjoying the murder mystery, and in the last episode, the villain said: “I can do the math,” and I was literally gone. That obsession sparked writing my first fanfic stories. Those stories are still on FFnet, but they aren’t any good. *shrugs* What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? Compromise. The world isn’t a perfect place, and will never be. You can, however, make it more to your liking. It may not be perfect, but if you play the cards you are dealt, you might improve something. In Robert Jordan’s “the Wheel of Time”-series, one of the characters goes through a test in a parallel universe of sorts, and she thinks: “The world was not what she wanted, not anywhere near it.” I loved that: trying your best to make things as you want them to be in the face of dangers and difficulties. And then there’s time travel! I love messing with time, and there are so many great Time-travelling fics. Plus, I have to say I have a certain love for the villains... What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? Currently, I’m not writing for any other fandoms. I read Star Wars, GoT, POTO and LOTR, and in the past I read Smallville. Though it’s more of a type of ship for me, because I only read Reylo, SanSan, Erik/ Christine, Lex/Lana and ….drum roll… the extremely small and quite oddball ship of Eowyn/ Grìma Wormtongue. If you’ve never tried the last one, go search for the fantastic stories by auri_mynonys. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? One change: duh, that’s easy, isn’t it? Severus lives. Or, maybe Dumbledore acting more rational, not keeping so many secrets. Maybe telling McGonagall that Severus is on the Order’s side… (Interviewer is laughing - ”NOT so easy”) I do write Voldemort wins AUs, but I wouldn’t want canon Voldemort to win. I prefer him to be more sane than in canon. My absolute favourite piece of fanon has to be the Black library. I thought it was canon, but it’s not. This is a thing that really, really should exist in canon! Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? I’m very much inspired by music, and sometimes I listen as I write, but not always. Some fics are heavily inspired by music, such as ‘Absence’ and the last epilogue to ‘The Manipulation of Time and Matter’. What are your favourite fanfictions of all time? Definitely ‘Two Steps from Hell,’ by the amazing Ssserpensssotia, but that’s a Volmione. This was such a wild ride, I felt like I was on the edge of my seat, holding my breath the entire time. Those twists and turns were so unpredictable and … Well, I’m in awe. The SS/HG fandom is so massive, there’s a plethora of great stories out there. The unfinished ‘Self-Slain Gods on Strange Altars’ is a wonderful story by scumblackentropy, and I love Slytherpoufs stories, especially the wip ‘Ghosts’, but also ‘Angels to Fly’. And then there’s the one that got away - it means, I can’t find it. In this story, Severus watches the thestrals, befriending one of them, I think, but they’re unpredictable and maybe even dangerous. He’s heartbroken, and knows how it all will go down, having bitterly accepted his role. It made me cry. And then there’s the works by Aurette, and lena1987, Subversa, Kittenshift… Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process? I need (strike that: want) to draft the entire story before I post, to have some idea on how it goes. That makes it easier to write, but if it’s a long story, I’m happy as long as I know the general direction. This year, I finished a story that was on an unintended hiatus for two years, and I think part of my problem on getting back into writing it up was a too vague idea for the ending. What is your writing genre of choice? Uh. I don’t know? Basically, you could argue that I’m a porn writer, or at least it’s fuelled by sexual tension and angst. So, romance or drama, bordering on erotica might be correct. To be frank, I haven’t really thought about categories after I started posting on AO3. Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why? Hard to say. I might go with “the Manipulation of Time and Matter,” because I think it’s the best plot I’ve created. Besides, I managed to write Hermione having a relationship with both Severus and Voldemort in the same fic. My favourite “clean” SSHG would be the short story ‘Grimmauld’. Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it? In Grimmauld, the house became a character. That was unexpected, and not something I had planned from the beginning. So the lesson would be “don’t start posting until you know what’s going to happen.” Or else, this story might have turned out very much different. I had to throw in a little made-up lore on how you set blood wards on a house too to make it sentient. That proved to be a quite chilling piece of magic. How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write? I love old houses. Exploring abandoned houses, going inside to see what remains of furniture, tapestries and everything is so exciting. (It can also be dangerous, but that’s another matter). Such houses makes me feel .. nostalgic, plus I get those nice little shivers down your spine that is a little like a horror story. So, I wanted to use Grimmauld as a setting to explore that in a fic, to really dig into the aching loneliness of a lost house. The story came very quickly to me, so I guess that helped me. What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing? Big question there. Hmm, I think … it’s hard to say. I’m a reader, really, and I couldn’t easily pick apart any influences. Though I have to say that one of the things I enjoyed when reading ‘Two Steps From Hell’ was the attention to magic. I think it’s important to include spells, rituals and the use of magic in my fics, because that’s what sets it apart from a Muggle AU, for example. That’s an important part of the world-building. Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction? My significant other knows. I didn’t tell him, but he found out for himself, probably by spying on me. When he told me, I almost couldn’t stop laughing, because he… erm, he said he had thought about reenacting a scene in my PWP ‘Twenty Points to Gryffindor’, where Severus shouts the title as he… well… you get the gist. If he had done that, I’d have had a heart attack. I would literally be dead. Instead, I laughed non stop for an hour. How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? Haha, so true. You spend all those hours in front of your laptop - and if I wasn't motivated by doing it for myself, I can’t even see how I’d force myself through all those hours. It’s fun, though. I do this because I love it. How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media? Very important. I'm on the publishing sites (visible interaction is why I prefer AO3 instead of FFnet) and on Facebook, mainly. I love feedback (as all authors do), and when people form theories or make comments, I get an insight into my own writing. I know how it’s going to pan out, but the audience doesn’t, and how they perceive things might be different from how I think it is. At times, it influences how I go forward, mostly because I need to add things, to explain what’s going on. What is the best advice you've received about writing? Don’t post until you know the ending, and remember: the devil on your left shoulder will be at war with the angel on the right side. Listen to the angel telling you to wait a little longer, and not to the devil chanting: ‘Post, post, post!’ In the end, of course, you’ll give in to the devil, regretting it until you’re done. What do you do when you hit writer's block? Read. Read a lot. And read some more. Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing? Certainly. I’m a foodie. For example, everything that Voldemort eats is stuff I love. His food habits are primarily mine, and I love cooking. Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser? It’s a short piece, maybe three or four chapters, with the title ‘Transference’. The point of departure from canon is during their time in the tent at DH. Hermione wakes up in a bed, in a room she doesn’t recognize, having no idea where she is, but she spots a large, moving picture on the drawer: Feeling panic rising, she stared hard at the moving and smiling pictures, and her heart leapt into her throat, pulse hammering as she recognized herself in the largest picture. A slightly older Hermione, in a white wedding dress, kissing and laughing at someone who simply had to be a much younger Severus Snape. It had to be him: Long black hair, hooked nose, sallow skin - but then he looked so young, carefree and happy - expressions she had never seen on her dour Professor's face. Beside the picture, there were numerous cards, greetings and well-wishings for their wedding - the date an impossible 21 August 1982, and amongst the cards, the largest one stood out, the black ink showing an elegant handwriting: “Dear Hermione and Severus! Best wishes for your wedding, Lord Voldemort.” Any words of encouragement to other writers? Read and write, in that order. Don’t worry about trolls, because when you contribute something that you created, it makes you so much more than people spending their time just raining on anyone’s parade. You brought something new to the world, they’re just reacting to things. If someone accuses you of a self-insert, go ahead and lecture them on the intentional fallacy. I promise, you won’t regret looking it up. ;-) And please, mind the normal physical limits when you’re writing smut. Unless you give the male a stamina potion or put him under the Imperius, it’s unlikely that his refractory period allows him to come five times in one hour. Realistic smut is so much more sexy, lol. Thanks again for speaking with us Ciule.

#fanfic #fanfiction #snamione #writing

5 notes · View notes

kallypsowrites · 6 years ago

Text

Game of thrones: Conquest and Rebellion

I’m a happy camper this Christmas as I finally got Game of Thrones season 7 for myself. And I was surprised when it came with this beautiful little DVD that contains an over 40 minute history of the Targaryens in Westeros, narrated by several of the characters in Game of Thrones including: Viserys, Varys, Euron, Peytr Baelish, Sansa, and Jaime. I say characters and not actors because it is clearly supposed to be from the perspective of the characters and what they have learned about the history of the Targaryens.

Now, I was intrigued to watch this because I am actually midway through a big ol’ post on unreliable history in Fire and Blood. The basic thesis is that by telling the history of his world through the eyes of someone in that world, he makes it unreliable and biased and this is very much by design. I have my ideas about what is exagerated vs what is real in Fire and Blood, but I wanted to see how this video compared. Especially since it contains what the SHOW views as the most important notes in the Targaryen conquest.

And boy did it confirm my suspicions about unreliable history. In fact, hearing individual characters bring in their bias illustrated my thesis perfectly. But let’s talk about some of the highlights. Because I was surprised to see how the Targaryens were represented her.

1. Viserys suggests that the Targaryens may have left Old Valyria because of a court mishap and not the prophesy from ‘The Dreamer’. I have had my suspicions about some of the “prophetical” motivation behind the Targaryen conquest, because in large part it seemed like stories written to justify Aegon’s conquest. Like it’s his “destiny”. However, I never thought to question the idea of the dreamer foreseeing the doom of Valyria. Now, if this was from any other character’s narration I might call it unreliable and an attempt to discredit the Targaryens but this is Viserys, “number one Targaryen fanboy”, “my family is the best and like GODS among MEN” Targaryen. Even he thinks that perhaps the vision is just a story. At the very least, the vision wasn’t super clear as the Targaryens left a full twelve years before the Doom. Already the show seems to be calling attention to the fact that the Targaryens are just like everyone else.

2. This continues with the implication that Aegon conquered for resources and knew he could win because of dragons. This is also Viserys’ implication. He also makes a statement about Aegon “teaching the squabbling families the meaning of greatness” and it sounds very villainy. Again. This is Viserys who later on calls Maegar the cruel, “the wise” and says the title of cruel was slander! Viserys is 100% team Targaryen and yet he does not begin to make Aegon’s intentions sound noble. Even though the Targaryen history books are FILLED with that kind of thing. Viserys also calls them “strangers” to Westeros which follows the narrative of this being an invasion. in fact the next section is even TITLED ‘invasion’

After this, we switch to Varys’ narration. As a narrator, he’s probs the most trustworthy as he is the most neutral. And HE adds in the suggestion that Aegon used the hands of the envoy sent to him by Argilac the arrogant were just a PRETEXT for the conquest he’d been planning for a long time. He wanted to rule the seven kingdoms and was just looking for an excuse to attack. He also suggests that Argilac the arrogant was surpassed by Aegon in arrogance. Not a great picture painted of Aegon.

3. “Before he was done, the rivers fields and skies would turn red” -- Varys on Aegon the conqueror. Continues to speak of this man like a villain. in sharp contrast to the ‘noble conqueror’ painted in Fire and Blood. Speaking of which, Aegon is the one who comes up with the words ‘Fire and Blood’ according to this video, which definetily makes him seem like he was hoping for some casual mass murder.

4. Obviously, Harren the Black and Argilac the Arrogant sucked. Totally not coming to their defense. But how are their deaths portrated. Well, Euron is given the chance to describe the death of Harren and he is CLEARLY turned on by the destruction of his ancestors which is a bad sign. It’s description is horrifying and the animation is dark. Obviously if Euron likes it, its supposed to be kind of freaky.

Argilac, however, is given a heroic final battle seeming almost noble. Orys Baratheon, the most humanized of all the conquerors, seems to respect him enough to take his sigil and words “out of respect”. We’ll talk more about how the characters are drawn later, but there’s a big difference between Orys and Aegon.

5. Jaime describes the field of fire and he himself looks VERY MUCH like Lorren Lannister. He stresses that Aegon had “no mercy”. But its no surprise that he hates Targaryens cause they have a bad history. But still, the Field of Fire is shot like a horrifying war scene and the Targaryens are again depicted as the villain. Thousands return home as “scarred monsters”.

Favorite line “Aegon had a fetish for collecting swords”.

6. Sansa narrates the bits about House Stark and House Stark is indisputidly depicted as heroes. Now, this isn’t surprising. Sansa is loyal to her house. But she implies that the north was different than the other kingdoms because they were focused on survival not power. There is focus for a lot of time on the white walkers and how it is a Stark problem to deal with and they are a greater threat than dragons.

She puts emphasis on how Starks are willing to make alliances for survival, regadless of pride as well. She seems to respect Torrhen Stark’s decision to kneel saying ‘he had no choice’. Aegon was offering a very ‘kneel or die’ message after all. The Starks would have died if they did not bow. But their swords are still taken for the throne!

The most ominous bit is this:

“The swords Aegon took from them were not twisted or mangled” - Sansa

“Yet” - Viserys, very ominously

What an ominous thing to throw in there Viserys!

7. Most unsettling display of Targaryen villainy happens in the Eyrie, narrated by Littlefinger. Queen Arryn arrives to see that Visenya is with her son, next to her dragon. Visenya doesn’t say it, but she is fully threatening the boy. You can see it by her smile which is just...oof. It’s scary. She clearly intends to kill him if his mother doesn’t give the crown. She has “no choice” and Littlefinger describes him as a “poor boy”. Visenya is clear villain in this. This is in HUGE contrast to the two women apparently relating and connecting with each other in Fire and Blood.

8. Viserys mocks the “religious” reasons for old town’s surrender suggesting that they knelt because otherwise everyone would die. This once again undercuts the idea that the septon saw some grand purpose for Aegon which is suggested in Fire and Blood. The septon is just afraid, again, according to Viserys the number one Targaryen fanboy. Bonus: calls the north savages because Targaryens are better than everyone~~ He even calls the Targaryens the "Greatest dynasty ever.” when Aegon is crowned.

9. But after Aegon’s victory, the neutral Varys comes in to remind us of the Dorne failure. Rather than making Rhaenys seem unflapable and invincible as Fire and Blood did, Varys suggested that the yellow toad of Dorne SCARED Rhaenys. And later on, of course, Rhaenys gets taken down. Dorne really is painted as the heroic underdogs of this scene. and emphasis is placed on the fact that Aegon and Visenya set every city on fire except sunspear. If there HAD been people there, they would all be dead. Fire and Blood indeed.

10. We skip right from the conquest to the Dance of Dragons.

“With no enemies left they started fighting each other.” - Viserys

This defs doesn’t sound like the centuries of peace and prosperity that Dany talked about. This video is focused ENTIRELY on the wars of the Targaryens and not the good things or building of infrastructure. No mention of Jahaerys the concilitator at all. Instead we focus on Aegon, Maegar, the Dance, Aegon the Unworthy and the Mad King. All the very worst Targaryens. And there are lots of good things the Targaryens did! But instead of focusing on that, the show focuses on the war, which means they know that Dany’s line about “centuries of peace” is wrong.

Bonus, we have more of Viserys arguing for blood purity and that Targaryens are SPECIAL and that they would have been fine if Aegon didn’t legitimize so many dirty half breed bastards.

11. The greatest Targaryen threat, however, is madness (according to Jaime who saw the Mad King first hand). We bring up that line again: “Every time a Targaryen is born the gods flip a coin”

“We put up with Aerys hoping Rhaegar would be better but then he also proved mad when he took Lyanna Stark”

This does not place Rhaegar as the sane, good sibling most people do. Instead, it also paints him in a negative light. Which, this is Jaime, so take it with a grain of salt. But he actually never hated Rhaegar so yeah...

12. Jaime is so bitter about Ned condemning him and it’s kinda funny. I love Nikolaj narration

“I saw what Ned Stark couldn’t. Robert was ashamed of the bodies of the children... and more ashamed at his relief. Glorious heroes didn’t kill children. They simply didn’t punish their murderers” - Jaime being smart with one of my fave lines.

He clearly sees things as they are. He doesn’t like the Targaryens but he also doesn’t elevate Robert as a god. Jaime doesn’t believe in heroes and it shows here.

13. Then we end with a particularly ominous note.

“One day I’ll return and repay all traitors with the only coin my family knows. Fire and blood” - Viserys.

These are the last words in the video. A threat. It really does not paint the Targaryens as tragic characters pushed out of their rightful throne.

And this is where I want to talk about the character drawings. Every pose from the original three dragons (Aegon and sisters) is the most villainous thing in the world and the music behind their conquest is intense and dark. Their faces are often lowered but with their eyes glaring up and shrouded in shadow. Their smiles are sharp. Their body language is arrogant. It is victims of the conquest like Lorren and Torrhen who are given more humanized designs.

On the Targaryen side of things, the most humanized design belongs to Orys Baratheon who has much kinder eyes and a more open expression. And the there’s Viserys and Daenerys at the end who look like scared children more than anything. But the Targaryen dynasty that is their birth right doesn’t appear to start out on a great foot.

This kinda all backs up my point that if Daenerys wants to break the wheel, she will have to reject and correct the legacy of her family. The show clearly does not view Aegon as a great hero. So if they mean for Daenerys to be a hero, I hope they have her recognize the history and take steps to correct it (maybe even destroy the iron throne, plz?) And if she doesn’t recognize her history or tries to emulate Aegon, she could be headed down a bad path.

I love the Targaryen family because, like lots of my favorite Westeros families, they are SCREWED UP and have lots of interesting characters, and I look forward to exploring them more in my Fire and Blood post. But if anything, this video just backs up my thesis about unreliable history and what Dany will have to do if she wants to be a good ruler. Break that wheel! It was forged in fire and blood!

#game of thrones #house targaryen #fire and blood #daenerys targaryen #Jaime Lannister #Varys #viserys targaryen #sansa stark #Aegon Targaryen #game of thrones season 7 #game of thrones season 8 #game of thrones meta

162 notes · View notes

afraschatz · 6 years ago

Text

Leverage - The Grave Danger Job

It’s been a while since I did one of these, and I MISSED THE TEAM. Anyway, so I just randomly put in a DVD and out came The Grave Danger Job. So here are things I love about this episode: I love...

...the client’s reason for wanting the team to step in. The whole idea of scamming funeral home directors is just so atrocious and that woman sums it up so perfectly

... Parker hanging out in the back. Because that’s just how she rolls

... a Nate/Parker scene. They are too rare, really.

... “Faith. Faith, Parker“. - As someone who couldn’t be more agnostic if she tried, this is such a great way to frame that for me. Because like her, I don’t necessarily get the abstract concept but the show does such a great job to „un-abstractify“ it. Which yes, is totally a word

...Hardison’s and Eliot’s basement time (it’s one of the things I continuously love about this show. All these little off-hand comments that are just so inviting to make up your own backstory and that just always add more little pieces to the puzzle of all of their personal relationships. Because we all know that the two of them kept bickering aaaaall the way through that basement)

... Eliot being annoyed, Hardison being utterly unimpressed by it

... Leverage music. THANK YOU. Because seriously, I hate funeral home episodes and all the doom and gloom in them, and yes, I know it’s a serious thing and all that, but while the team definitely treats it as such (as they always do) the music once again tells us, hey, it’s gonna be fine

... Hardison in a suit <3 with cufflinks. And a horrible tie. Seriously, who bought that thing?

... Parker in a body bag <3<3<3

... Nate and Sophie funeral crashing. Because we all know that this is what they do in their free time as well

... Hardison being grossed out and Eliot making fun of it

... Eliot’s idea of a proper funeral-for-an-ex-con outfit hahaha

... Eliot complaining to Hardison about giving him the wrong information. Because yeah, that was TOTALLY an accident. Hardison, you dawg :D

... Eliot being so quick on his feet as always, going for the simplest and most believable explanation for his outfit. I have such a thing for him adapting so easily

...a casket named „Gentle Breeze“ hahaha

... one named „The Admiral“ because yeah, sure why not

... Hardison’s pinky finger touch. God, I love that he is so easily grossed out

...Sophie emotionally connecting with the dead guy, Nate who couldn’t care less

...“There’s a bunch of kids outside tagging cars“ - ELIOT, STOP BEING SO AWESOME AT THINKING ON THE FLY!

... „Bloody hell“ - I love when Sophie’s utter Britishness comes out. And what do you know, all it takes is Parker dangling in front of a window at a funeral home

...Parker dangling in front of a window at a funeral home

... Nate’s horrible, horrible improvisation. Nate and Sophie turning that improvised speech into a comedy show (Nate) and a Shakespearian drama (Sophie). And just that little detail about the unfaithful widow. Did I mention how I love all the little interpersonal background snippets that aren’t really neceessary but so so good?

... “But where is the money?!“

... two scams at once. I love this about the show, that there is a twist around every corner and that all of it is so fricking fast-paced

... the bad guy’s mobile phone. This has nothing to do with the show itself, really, but that seemingly ancient phone is the only thing that reminds me how old this episode actually is. Because all of the rest of the show? Fricking timeless <3

...family meal aka Chinese food and beer

...a Parker and Sophie scene. “How do you - care?“ God, I love her so much. And I love how her reaction to Sophie breaching the subject is a sigh and an eyeroll and the need to distance herself (totally get that, mate), and yet she listens because what Sophie says is maybe not even as important as how she says it - it’s not a long speech, it’s not about „but you should...“, it’s not prying. It’s answering the question that Parker asked and speaking from HER heart instead of making asumptions about Parker’s. Thank you, Sophie <3

... Parker’s burito eating face and his horribly large camera

... Sophie’s old woman accent

... both of which perfectly balance out the emotional Parker/Sophie scene from before

... the funeral boys being lazy sons

...Hardison and Nate’s little play in the diner

...Nate not blinking when he threatens people. Even when he is in character as a sleezy funeral home director

...the evil speech of evil and Nate’s well hidden disdain

...Nate’s voice when he is pretending to be harmless and a bit scared. You know, that nice guy voice, just a bit too soft to be real, just a bit too stuttery to be trusted - if you happen to know him

...now, the scene that ends with Hardison in a coffin. WHERE IS ELIOT? Dude, seriously. Why isn’t he hanging off a window outside??? (I love that that gets picked up later)

...the way Nate and Eliot talk to one another. I posted about this before, about how I love every 1:1 relationship on the show, and this is yet another example of it. The scene isn’t ABOUT their relationship (just as the little bit about Hardison and Eliot in the basement at the beginning wasn’t about them either) but if you want, you can see SO much about their relationship in this. Eliot waking Nate up and briefing him on the status quo, then looking for clues because Nate certainly doesn’t need mollycoddling. Eliot’s assessment of the evidence and Nate matter-of-factly confirming that („Yeah, got it“). This is how the two of them react in a stressful situation, especially when faced with the kind of emotional stress that is bound to unfold here. With a kind of super-rational coldness that may seem heartless but is the exact opposite; because this is what both of them know is needed.

...I mean I am really against Hardison in a grave, okay. BUT look at all those close ups of his faaaace. I mean, how pretty is he?

...Nate and Eliot arguing about why that situation went South. Because Nate ignored Eliot when Eliot said that he wanted to come with to protect his boyfriend err to provide backup. NATE. Damn you. Everything would be so much easier if everyone just listened to Eliot, like, 24/7. Trufax

...Hardison calling Parker <3

...Hardison freaking out. Aldis Hodge is sooooo good in this, showing how he tries to keep it together but is soooo fucking scared. Aaaah, baby.

...Nate once again proving that he is pretty much a dick. Dude, I know it’s not really helpful to have Hardison interrupt your impromptu crisis meeting, but to just mute him? WTF?

...Nate instantly kinda making up for it. Because it won’t help if the team leader sugar-coated the situation.He needs to be cold-blooded about this

...Nate and Eliot being the ones working this out because of this

...Hardison doing exactly what Eliot told him to (like everyone should)

...the short cut to them stealing the police car and the ambulance. I love the pace of this show and how of course they trust us to just get it

...Hardison working with what he has even if it’s not tech

...Sophie’s argument to Parker for why Hardison needs HER. Not because of emotional whatever (yes, because of that as well, but that isn’t helping anyone). But because she knows what she is doing. - As weird as that sounds, this next scene, that is the most emotional competence porn the show ever gave us.

...God, Aldis, you’re KILLING ME HERE. STOP IIIIT.

...thank fuck for a brief shot to Eliot and Nate and for them keeping it together because I surely am not

...Nate focussing not just on Hardison but also on Javier. Because someone needs to. Cold-Bloodedness pays off.

... “Where did you get the police car?“ - „It’s a rental.“ - You know that you’re up shit’s creek when Nate is not even trying to hide his sarcasm from you

...Eliot, stop playing with the thug and the shovel and RESCUE YOUR BOYFRIEND

...Hardisons desperate attempt cutting at the coffin turning out to be a strategy to get the compass. Again, of COURSE this is about emotions, this entire scene, but how great is it that throughout it is not simply victimizing Hardison? Yes, of course he needs his team to keep him sane and to get him out, but he is not just a damsel in distress. Smartest man.

... now, not to be that guy to make it even worse, but how horrible must those seconds be when Hardison loses contact and just hears machine gun fire outside? MAKE IT STOOOP

... „You have to make it through this. Because you’re my friend and I need you.“ - Yes, Hardison, I am choking as well.

...the utter speed with which Eliot runs to get Hardison out

...“Don’t do that again“ “I won’t“

...Hardison / Eliot hug

... Nate / Hardison hug

... Hardison / Sophie hug

... Parker’s breathlessness

...just deserts for Darlene and her boys and for Javier. Thank you, Nate

...Nate and Hardison computer porn err justice

...Hardison’s little boxing dance

...that Parker and Hardison scene. The shoulder touch. God, the kiss is sweet as well, as is Hardison giving her space, and his fucking smile (and hers), but that initial shoulder touch, that already slays me. That kind of physical comfort they take from one another, that has nothing to do with sex or want or lust, but is pure friendship, that is such a beautiful beautiful thing.

Did I recently mention how much I love this show? Because I do. As much as Parker loves Hardison’s shoulder bumps, as much as Eliot loves being forced into the basement with Hardison, as much as Sophie and Nate love funeral-crashing. Which is a whole damn lot really

#leverage #alec hardison #eliot spencer #parker #nate ford #sophie deveraux #things i love about #the grave danger job #episode reaction

132 notes · View notes

nellie-elizabeth · 7 years ago

Text

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Nathaniel Needs My Help! (3x08)

I am SUCH a broken record but my goodness is this show excellent. Where do I even start?

Cons:

I've realized that I only have one consistent complaint throughout the history of this entire show: not enough focus on the secondary characters. This season, we've seen so very little of Valencia, and it's bumming me out. It looks like next week will give us some WhiJo, but he was absent this week as well. So was Heather. I wish there was a way to balance out some more time with these characters, because every single one of them deserves tons of time and attention.

Okay, so... Josh comes to Rebecca's house and thanks her for changing him. Before they met, he says, he had set the bar so low for himself. Rebecca helped him realize that he could have more. Here's the thing about this conversation: I could see it happening, maybe, like ten years down the road. Rebecca and Josh bump in to each other, both of them have decided to forgive each other for their pain and suffering... but let's back up and think about this for a moment. Sure, Josh is not a saint, and there are many things that he did that were less than ideal. But Rebecca? By any sane measure she was the bad guy in their relationship. She stalked him, lied to him, manipulated him, cheated on him, threatened him... I'm not saying that Rebecca should be thrown in prison or anything. Watching her journey towards improving her mental health is the most fascinating thing on this show. But for Josh to thank her? For Rebecca to think that Josh was coming to apologize? Even after all of her therapy, does Rebecca not think she owes Josh an apology as well? Yikes!

Pros:

Let's start with Josh Chan - he's still living at home, and the task of packing up the closet for his impending move makes him nostalgic. His mother Lourdes sings a song called "Get Your Ass Out of My House" on his old karaoke machine, and it was fantastic. I've already discussed that I find the idea of Josh thanking Rebecca a bit distasteful, but that doesn't mean that everything going on in his story is bad. On the contrary - we're seeing a continuation of the setup from the last episode. As much as Rebecca's unhealthy obsession hurt her, it also influenced Josh quite a bit. He is realizing that so much of his life was centered around Rebecca for a while. For the first time in his blissfully uncomplicated life, he doesn't know what he wants or how to even begin going after his goals. He's got a lot of problems of his own to sort through, and he really does need to unpack some complicated feelings after getting out of two relationships in a row with very manipulative, demanding women. I'm excited to explore more with his character. Lourdes is also just quite simply the best, so it was nice to see her get a song all to herself.

Then we've got Darryl and Paula's plot thread. I bet that we see Darryl grapple with his heartbreak a bit more in later episodes, but for now we are focused on his desire to have another kid. This is something he really, really wants. I'm glad that we see him take concrete steps to have a child, because it proves that the breakup with White Josh was not contrived - this really is something that's important to him. Of course, Paula starts meddling again, and things turn out horribly - she finds the donor that she and Darryl both like, but who has removed her eggs from consideration. She manipulates her into saying yes, but then gets blackmailed... in the end, Paula is relieved that the conception doesn't take. However, Darryl is devastated. It's very expensive to purchase eggs for this kind of surrogacy, and he might have to wait another year before he can afford to try again. However, he decides to sell all of his artifacts to cover the cost of another try - he doesn't want to wait. Although Paula has learned another good lesson about meddling, Darryl still wants her to be a part of his child's life - "Aunt Paula."

Where to even start? It was nice to have a big, meaty plot thread featuring Darryl and Paula, as I think their friendship is a really sweet and under-appreciated part of the show. Paula still has a serious problem with meddling, but this time it really was from a place of pure altruism. She's not living vicariously through Darryl because she's unhappy, like she was for Rebecca. And when things almost go very poorly. she realizes her mistake right away and vows to learn from it. I like the fact that things didn't go horribly wrong - in the end, Paula and Darryl don't have to deal with a blackmailing liar. They get to try again and do this the right way.

Darryl's song, "My Sperm is Healthy," was simply fascinating in what it taught me about censorship on TV. Go listen to the explicit version, and you'll see what I mean - it's hilarious which words and concepts are deemed to be crossing the line, and which ones are okay. In any case, both versions of the song were a lot of fun. What a ridiculous show this is. I love it so much.

Finally, we've got Rebecca and Nathaniel. I find it so interesting that Rebecca's story is the one without any songs this week. In some ways it helps to keep it grounded, and it feels like the absence of music is in some way a measure of how seriously Rebecca is taking her recovery. We see multiple scenes of her in therapy, both one-on-one and in group, and we also see as she falls back in to unhealthy patterns. Her and Nathaniel are in the giddy, happy stages of a new relationship, and Rebecca immediately starts being obsessive. She finds out that Nathaniel wishes he had a better relationship with his father, so she enlists George to help her, ends up following Nathaniel Sr. around, and stumbles upon what she believes to be evidence of a secret affair and love child. She then introduces Nathaniel to his "sister," only to learn the totally rational and not at all scandalous truth of the situation.

Much like with Paula and Darryl's plot thread, I like the fact that nothing too horrible happens here. Rebecca acts really inappropriately, but in the end very little real harm is done. There is no soap-opera-esque twist about Nathaniel's family, and Rebecca apologizes and promises never to do it again. Nathaniel decides to forgive her. Of course, we see Rebecca finally recognize that her behavior towards Nathaniel is unhealthy. She realizes what she has to do, and as the episode ends she is showing up at his door to break up with him.

All of the scenes with Rebecca in therapy were just so golden and perfect. Her therapist tells her that she is of course allowed to have a healthy, good relationship with BPD, but he cautions her against falling back in to old patterns. Rebecca has a lot of rationalizations as to why what she's doing is different this time, but in the end she finally recognizes it. The scene where she talks about glitter exploding inside of her, and then suddenly says "ohhhh...." as she puts together the truth, is probably the best scene of the episode. I'm so glad that Rebecca is recognizing these unhealthy behaviors in herself. It's the right thing to do, to give herself some time away from forming a romantic relationship. As her therapist said, this doesn't mean she can't have a successful and happy relationship in the future... but as sad as it is, she needs to take some time for herself right now.

Everything about this show is so brilliant and good. I love the fact that Nathaniel's name has replaced Josh in the titles of episodes. We got a brief interlude where "Jeff" was the man's name... I can only assume that some day we're all going to get very emotional over the fact that an episode title is completely devoid of a man's name at all. Maybe Rebecca's own name will start appearing? What a clever naming convention. It carries so much weight!

I'm extremely excited to see the Nathaniel and WhiJo bromance form next week, as these two poor dudes get over their heartbreak in what looks to be hilarious fashion. Until then, I'll just be singing "My Sperm is Healthy" to myself, and hoping nobody hears!

9/10

#review #crazy ex girlfriend #crazy ex girlfriend review #crazy ex-girlfriend #crazy ex-girlfriend review #crazy ex-gf

16 notes · View notes

thetrashyvulpix-blog · 7 years ago

Note

Do every question for Tip. All of them. *shot* In all serious do my cinnamon roll and whatever questions you want. I just always like learning more about Tip.

1. Tip generally doesn’t have much of a scent, showering regularly but not adding on anything that stands out. He does enjoy using “orange-scented” shampoo, though, so at times he’ll smell a bit like citrine. I like to think oranges are his favorite fruit, if only because they help make the breakfasts he prepares that much better (and healthier!). Nicole is living the good life, not gonna lie.

2. Tip has a higher-pitched boy’s voice, but his tone is usually soft and meek, allowing him to sound more polite and formal. During times when he’s uncertain or scared, his voice make crack, and he may sound more like a younger teen than a young adult man.

3. I like to think that Nicole is his biggest motivator. And, for a large part of his life, she is. But after she passes, Tip likely looks to his children and to his students. He obsesses over being the best father he can be, because it makes him feel like his life is still worth something, and that he’s still loved, even after Nicole’s gone... Granted, even with Nicole by his side, he still takes his fatherly role very seriously, but when she isn’t there, even his students become second children to him. I like to think he’s helped a lot of kids in his class because of this...

4. Tip’s most embarrassing memory is learning to do anything romantic with Nicole. Whether it be kissing, dating, or further. He always messes it up in predictable ways, and he’s just glad that, half the time, nobody’s able to really make fun of him for it... (Fuck you, Peach and Yoshi.)

5. I’m going to assume physical pain. Tip actually knows how to take a hit. As a creation, his mind works a bit differently from others, and the pain he feels is lessened as a result. You could give him plenty of cuts, but he’d recognize that, even though they hurt like hell, the person bleeding from their head needs more medical attention than he does. It’s a very useful skill for a supporter/healer to be able to heal his allies, even if he’s hurt. Some healers may panic and heal themselves when in pain.

6. Tip is most comfortable in his academia uniform; he prefers wearing formal clothing, with school colors, to give people an idea of his profession and his magical school of choice. And as a creation of Balance, it’s just what he feels most comfortable in… Magical clothes that can help bolster his magical energy, or even just keep it under control, makes life easier for someone who was born from magic.

7. I honestly believe it’s a cross between Ian and Nicole in SC. I know, I know; IAN. But I honestly do believe that having someone so sociable around, even if he’s a little… Ian… would help Tip to open up more and become a more social person, himself. Even if we didn’t get to see them interact that much, I think Ian would have encouraged Tip to become a better person by talking to people and helping them open up to him; this charismatic skill would come in handy in later years, where Tip becomes a professor and has to help his students. Nicole obviously does a lot because she’s his wife, and she always helps calm him down and keep him happy…. But some part of me really wants to think Ian would be a great positive force, too. Ian Kubrick was a great character, and to not have him have some sort of impact on Tip would be a complete shame on my part.

8. Tip eats the dust of stars, dude. It’s fucking weiiiird.

9. Tip cannot go to sleep without hugging/cuddling something. Whether that be Nicole, a pillow, baby dragon Celestia, or a child of his that’s having trouble sleeping themselves, Tip is always holding something or someone in his sleep. He believes it’s because he just can’t stand being alone at night...

10. Tip loves breakfast foods. He loves making a great breakfast that will wake his friends up, and he especially enjoys receiving praise for his work. Nothing warms the boy’s heart more than receiving compliments on his cooking in the morning~

11. Tip is most insecure about his connections to other people. He knows he isn’t human, and he fears that people may treat him differently because of what he is and because of his lack of knowledge… This leads to near-constant depression in his early years.

12. Tip enjoys long, flowing brown dresses that match his eyes. He especially enjoys dresses that cover a lot of skin, so that he can feel enveloped in a silky, regal charm…

13. Tip usually tries to apologize right away when faced with guilt, and will do whatever he can to make amends… He always tries not to get on anyone’s bad side, so when he does, he generally breaks down. However, if that person is someone who has done enough bad that even Tip doesn’t mind doing something hurtful to them… The guilt doesn’t really hit that hard. There aren’t very many people that cross that line, though. If someone gets close, Tip usually just avoids them and tries not to confront them at all costs.

14. I got to show this in BAT2, but despite his calmness… Tip didn’t react very well. He’s gotten to the point where he avoids the person and generally would never trust them. I think Tip would be unable to really forgive betrayal unless the person directly apologized and was clearly trying to make amends. So he reacts like any other reasonable person would, really… There’s only one tick. If that person has only done negative things, it’s very hard for them to get back on Tip’s good side. Not to say that Tip’s “bad side” is necessary a bad place to be (even enemies are treated with the same courtesy he tries to give everyone else; it’s just that they’re avoided), but Tip is capable of holding a grudge, even if he’s not outward about it like a character like Peach may be.

Let me explain further, actually.

So Tip is capable of holding a grudge, but again, you need to be a pretty shitty person to get to that grudge. You’d have to do very negative things towards him or a person he cares about, and then you’d need to go as far as to betray or to do something terrible to him and his friends. Afterwards, you have to show no remorse.

Finally, the grudge wouldn’t be that bad. It’s the least meaningful grudge ever. You’re just avoided. Tip would never not include you in something that should include you, and you would be treated like everyone else as a breakfast or dinner party.

15. Tip’s greatest achievement is becoming the Professor of Balance at Ravenwood. Doing this has led him into a very stable career, and it’s probably the thing that’s kept him sane during all of these years of eternal life… He’s also touched many, many lives by becoming a teacher who is dedicated to what he does. It’s his biggest accomplishment for himself by far.

16. Tip tends to be able to deal with being tired well. Given how he’s a creation, sleep isn’t a prime necessity for him, anyway… It just helps a bunch. He can take some Stardust and be fine if he needs to. He prefers sleeping and cuddling with Nicole, though~

17. Tip doesn’t drink. He just doesn’t. I can never imagine Tip drinking. He’s too much of a “good boy”.

18. Tip enjoys calm, instrumental music. He probably especially enjoys Disney music, if only because of Nicole’s influence, and especially loves upbeat music that can get him going throughout the day. When you’re alone in life… You really have to latch onto every source of happiness you can.

19. Right-handed.

20. Tip fears being left alone, having to fight alone, and having an evil that’s stronger than any hero appear...

21. Tip enjoys either a clear, sunny day, or a calm, rainy day. A day that’s too hot, a day with thunder and severe winds, or a day that’s only cloudy but not quite calm and rainy… Those days are just ‘meh’ to him. He appreciates weather that really sticks to one moderate side or the other.

22. Tip loves tan and maroon colors!~

23. Tip collects spell cards. They are physical manifestations of his own, learned spells. By the end of SC or BAT2, he only has about 22-25 spell cards, but by the time of SW… He likely has up to 200 spell cards, if not many more. Possibly 400 by the end of SE, depending on how much he studied Myth (Myth is the school I like to think has the most spells by far).

24. Tip prefers colder weather. He loves the cold breeze on a nice winter morning~

25. Brown eyes for Tip.

26. Tip’s race is “Creation/Human”. His skin is white.

27. Tip’s hair is also brown!

28. Tip is happy by the end of SC. He’s likely happy by the end of SE because of certain things that Terra has done. I’d say he’s pretty content… But in SW he’s a pure mess. With his wife gone for over a century and nothing but pain, the poor Apprentice has seen better days.

29. Absolutely! Tip tends to get up before Nicole to make her breakfast, and really enjoys helping everyone start their days right!~

30. Sunrise~

31. Tip is an absolutely organized person. He doesn’t like having to look for things, and he prefers making sure he knows exactly where everything is, all the time, even if it takes more time to get preparations and clean-up done.

32. Tip isn’t “peeved” by much, but someone who’s an out-right jerk could make him uncomfortable. He also doesn’t enjoy it when people pick on him for his quiet nature. But he would never get annoyed or angry with someone without great reason.

33. Anything Nicole had given him before she died is of the upmost importance… But, other than that, his Sidhe Staff. It was his first weapon, and still proves to be a valuable tool on the field thanks to its unique powers. It can help him gain more power pips, and will help raise the accuracy of his hard-to-use Balance spells.

34. Tip really doesn’t enjoy green peas. He doesn’t see how anyone could like those.

35. Gray. It’s a dull color that doesn’t really do much for him.

36. … Poison is a bad smell? Idfk. Bad smells are bad. His least favorite smell is probably the same as any other human’s.

37. The last time Tip cried was last Tuesday, obviously. He can cry often, especially when his situation really is stressful… And usually, when he does cry, it’s fair for him to cry, it’s just that he can get overly-emotional...

38. Tip was probably with Nicole the last time he cried. Tip always opens up to her, no matter what; he’s learned to trust her...

39. Tip has been injured several times in many battles. One time, in BAT2, he was severely injured by Nicole and Yoshi after having his identity taken from him by Doopliss. While physical pain doesn’t hurt so much, the emotional pain from having his friends attack him nearly destroyed him… If it weren’t for the heroes discovering the real Doopliss, Tip wouldn’t have made it long.

40. Scars can be healed in the Spiral universe, so no.

41. Does Tip struggle with any mental health issues?... Yeah, probably. I’m not an expert though.

42. Tip has a bad habit of being too formal to people, and not learning to cut back and try to have a warmer aura around him. When in ‘professor mode’ or ‘father mode’, though, he learns to curb these bad habits to become a more charismatic and happy person for his student/child.

43. Tip may be disliked because he’s not much of a people person. He’s quiet, timid, and always needs someone to stand up for him. Anyone who values confidence (aside from his more mature self in SE), a backbone, or some sense of masculinity will be disappointed in Tip Apprentice.

44. Tip is a very caring friend and very affectionate. He will do anything to make someone’s day, and generally does his best for the people who will let him. He is Balance…. Support. His life feels better when he can help someone else’s life feel better.

45. Ghosts are canon in the Spiral.

46. Tip would trust his best friends with his life.. And he would especially trust Nicole, his wife. He would also trust his children with his life, because he helped raise them.

47. Tip is almost always romantically interested in Nicole Peach~

48. Tip, luckily for him, is almost always married to Nicole Peach~

49. Tip isn’t a big fan of surprises. They scare him, and he’s always uncomfortable with having a plan ruined.

50. Tip’s birthday is…. I actually never thought of that. I’d say February 19th is his birthday~ That’s just after the beginning of the Spiral Chronicles RP, and it lands him in the Zodiac Sign I want for him.

51. He tries his best to celebrate his birthday with friends… But in his later years, he tends to enjoy quietly spending his birthday with close family.

52. Tip has no family until he’s married to Nicole. After that point, he wants a family, but it’s really up to Nicole as to how big that family gets. The only exception is Nicolas, a creation that is considered Tip’s youngest son, given how he was made almost a century after Nicole’s death.

53. Tip is close to his wife and children~ He views his family as the most important people in the entire world to him… He’d do anything for them, absolutely anything~

54. I’m already playing 100 questions, I’d rather not to a personality test too. owo;

55. Pisces. I think.

56. Hufflepuff? I have no idea.

57. Tip is a Lawful/Neutral Good. He may circumvent the rules to help others if he has to, but otherwise does his best to follow the rules.

58. Tip has nightmares about losing everything he loves. His nightmares are harsh and unforgiving.. Mostly because, some side of him is harsh and unforgiving towards himself. He constantly questions himself, especially with certain things...

59. Death is something Tip sometimes longs for, but he knows better than to take his own life. He has eternal life for one reason or another, doesn’t he..? Plus, even if he died, he wouldn’t go back to Nicole. He would suffer a far worse fate...

60. Tip will laugh at silly and cute things, but many clever/dark jokes will either fly over his head or disturb him.

61. Tip will pass the time by cooking or practicing new spells. And Tip has had many days of boredom in his years of living… This means he is both powerful, and a great cook!~

62. Tip Apprentice enjoys the outdoors, but he’s gotten used to the magically-conditioned indoors… It’s more comfortable for practicing support spells, cooking, and relaxing.

63. Tip has no accent. Even though everyone technically has some sort of accent, Tip’s tone and the way he says things are completely moderate thanks to being a creation. He does talk a bit too formally sometimes, though.

64. Tip actually prefers vanilla cake, so he’d offer the slice to someone else if he were given a slice of chocolate cake. Too much chocolate is bad for Tips.

65. Tip dying is a very complicated and touchy subject, especially given what it means for him if he dies… So I’m not sure if I can answer this without being in a call, rambling about him.

66. How Tip feels about sex… Well, it’s not all that complicated, but it merits a long explanation because of how it affects him.

Tip is very interested in sex. As a creation, he still has the same sexual urges anyone else would have at his age… But because he has eternal life, those urges last forever. He can’t help looking at Nicole in certain ways, and he feels his heart beat that much faster whenever he kisses her.

However, he’s disgusted by his own thoughts. Nicole is not one for sex (I believe she’s even sex-repulsed), and Tip is well-aware of that, so he likely keeps his feelings under wraps for a long time. However, when he wants to have a family… He realizes that sex is necessary. There are magical ways to get around it, but, he just can’t help but want to push his and Nicole’s relationship to ‘that level’. He’s outstandingly curious, and he has these intense feelings all the time…

But, ultimately, without Nicole saying anything or helping him… I don’t think Tip would do anything. He would, instead, silently resign himself to ignoring his feelings. He would likely become sexually repressed, not allowing himself to think about Nicole in certain ways, and even after her death, he would never touch himself or give into bursts of lust he may feel at night, thinking of Nicole.

Sex is an element to characters I think can be very intriguing for reasons like these. Even if Tip believes he’s disgusting for wanting sex, and even if he thinks he’s wrong… He’s really not. It’s his own instincts and body making him feel this way. Having a sexual attraction to a person you love is completely normal, but because he’s never really told this and because his only other real interactions with anything sexual is through Ian and Charles being crazy, kinky fucks… Tip can never bring himself to do anything.

I think that sex could become a large part of his depression in later years. He has these feelings, and his sexual repression has likely built up for over a century… His own wants and desires make him think he’s a disgusting person, and he begins to hate himself even more over it.

67. Tip is demisexual. He only has sexual feelings for Nicole. I imagine that, later into BAT2 (earlier than SC because of the Bond) and sometime after SC, Tip begins to feel a certain way for Nicole… And these feelings never die, because they’re a part of who he is, whether he likes it or not.

68. Absolutely… In the beginning. Later into his life, Tip has seen enough blood that he can deal with it, unless it’s on the floor/written on a wall/used for some sort of fucked-up thing.

69. Tip thinks his own sexual desires are gross, even if they’re actually rather vanilla and sweet. He resents them with a passion.

70. No idea! Fuck off TV Tropes I don’t have time for you *shot*

71. Does Tip Apprentice enjoy helping people?... Nah, probably not.

72. Tip is not allergic to anything. By-product of being a creation.

73. Tip does not have any pets. Celestia is not a pet. Celestia is Tip’s daughter.

74. Tip is the slowest to anger of my OCs. If he is actually somehow angry… You’ve really, really fucked up. You have to either be outright evil or an actual disgrace to humanity.

75. Tip is extremely patient. See the grudge stuff and the anger stuff for more details.

76. Tip is a natural at cooking. It’s his favorite hobby!~

77. Tip never insults anyone. Even the bad guys don’t really get insulted, he just points out that they’re wrong and they’ll be taken down. If he’s “insulting” someone, it’s usually just him pointing out a character flaw.

78. Bubbly and cute. Tip will act like sunshine and rainbows when he’s happy, trying his best to make everyone else happy, too~

79. I don’t imagine Tip would do anything with knowledge of others’ fears… Like, at all. He might try to help them overcome those fears, but he’d never push them to do anything, and the best he would do is give advice.

80. Tip Apprentice is the most trustworthy character of mine. He will never break your trust, so long as you are a decent person/nice to him and his friends.

81. The only times Tip hides his emotions are when he needs to (which is isn’t good at), or when it comes to sex. If he needs to hide his emotions, Tip is terrible at it, his true feelings usually seeping through… But when it comes to hiding his feelings about sex, Tip is really, really good. One would have to bring them up directly to catch him off-guard, as it’s a big mental barrier for him.

82. Tip exercises regularly by using his spells, which drain mental and physical power, but also help train his physical and mental features.

83. Tip is satisfied with his physical image. He thinks he looks alright, but not amazing or really cute or anything… He’s just fine with how he is.

84. Tip doesn’t immediately find anyone physically attractive for one thing or another… But after becoming close to Nicole, he finds almost every part of her attractive. Especially the kitty ears! So cute!!~

85. Great charisma will catch Tip off-guard and possibly trigger some attraction… But usually that attraction is short-lasting as he gets used to a person’s personality.

86. Tip enjoys sweet foods from time to time, but can’t have as much as Nicole. He prefers a mix of sweet and healthy foods.

87. Tip starts off 16-17, but is constantly 20-21 afterwards. Eternal life sure does suck.

88. Tip is short for his age and gender. He’s only 5’5’’, but he’s still taller than his wife.

89. Tip wears brown reading glasses. He doesn’t need them that much, but… Ian must have some influence on him, because even into SE, he thinks they’re stylish and cute.

90. Tip does not consider himself attractive. Actually, that’s something that constantly bothers him. He truly believes Nicole would never, ever find him attractive.. And, well, maybe that’s true. But because of that, alongside his more sexual feelings, his confidence is really low about how he looks and is when it comes to his wife. He thinks he looks alright to everyone else, and he doesn’t mind that, but he really frets about how he looks to Nicole… Even if he knows it may never truly matter, some part of him really wants Nicole to find him attractive.

91. Tip loves cute, easy-to-understand humor that doesn’t hurt anyone. He’s an innocent child like that.

92. Tip is most often in a gentle, neutral mood… But his mood can easily become happy at the sight of his family or loved ones.

93. Again, Tip doesn’t get angry easily. Villains, evil people, people who are mean to everyone…. Even those people cannot easily get the wrath of Tip Apprentice.

94. Tip believes that life for him is some sort of cruel tragedy, up until SE and Terra’s work. He generally has a negative outlook on his own life, but… He does all he can to make it better. When with his family and when helping his descendents, Tip’s outlook on life is at its brightest, and he can feel like he really does mean something… He cries at Chelsea’s wedding with Amber. He beams with happiness when Nicolas and Nina decide to have their second child together. He hums happily to himself as he helps take care of a younger Terra… He feels such strong, positive emotions when he gets involved with the lives of people he loves...

95. Tip can easily get sad or depressed. Whether it be through questioning himself, thinking about his sexuality, having to face his eternal life, or going through rough times… Many things make him sad.

96. Tip Apprentice’s greatest weakness is his Confidence. He cannot believe in himself, even when he really should, and he has trouble sticking up for himself or battling a threat alone.

97. Tip Apprentice’s greatest strength is his Kindness. He can help turn lives around, give people the strength they need to succeed, and give someone the love they deserve.

98. Tip Apprentice sometimes regrets creating Nicolas, because of all the trauma he had to go through… But when he sees Nick happy with Nina and Tabitha, he thinks it was all worth it, in the end...

99. Already answered on question 15, SUCK IT!

100. Tip is a creation of Judgement. As such, the Bond was created by Judgement as a way of keeping creations like Tip alive, even when they’re without Stardust. The Bond is a very versatile tool, and it’s one whose details I’d rather keep hidden for now… But all you really need to know is that it hurts the creation and the bond recipient when they are apart, and heals them and brings them closer when they are together.

2 notes · View notes

hawk-in-a-jazzy-hat · 8 years ago

Text

Anime Review: When the Seagulls Cry (Umineko)

On the remote island of Rokkenjima, only accessible by ferry, the esteemed Ushiromiya family gather for important family matters. The head of the family Kinzo is dying, and his four children Rosa, Krauss, Rudolf and Eva are already in talks for the headship. Their own descendants are also present; Jessica, George, Maria and Battler. Also there are the Ushiromiya servants, and Kinzo’s longtime friend and physician, Dr Nanjo. It is a gathering of friends and family, although not everybody is as happy as their family’s status would suggest. Relationships are strained, and jealousy is rife.

Not that it will matter in the end. For Kinzo has a dark secret involving the black arts and the legendary Golden Witch, Beatrice. And, in what could be a conspiracy and what could be a game, he has locked his friends and family on the island, now inaccessible due to a typhoon, and with a murderous sorceress on the loose.

When the typhoon passes, and the seagulls cry, the Ushiromiya family will be dead.

Or will they? For there is a larger game at stake here, and one of the family may have the ability to solve the mystery and change the family’s fate for good.

In the early 2000s, an anime was released based on the popular visual novel Higurashi: When They Cry (approximately translating to When the Cicadas Cry).The anime has quickly hit cult status for its severe genre shifting between soft slice-of-life and dark, horror murder mystery. And not just once, either, since the show would flip back and forth pretty much effortlessly. Whether you like the show or not (I personally appreciate it more than I actually like it) there’s no doubt that it was very good at what it did. The writing was tight and knew exactly where it was going and which cards to hold back and show at any given time. The characters were slowly explored well using a unique plot-point that kept the stakes and the mystery up. Even the cheap art style was used remarkably effectively, with the bouncy moe girls switching back and forth between cute and axe-crazy at the drop of a hat (Higurashi Face still remains one of my favourite tropes). It’s not perfect, but it’s one of those shows that I’d recommend everybody at least watch, if only to experience it.

So given the low-key success of Higurashi, it would make sense to bring back the director, series compositor and script-writer, and the same studio do adapt the spiritual successor of the VN, Umineko: When they Cry in 2009. Surely the same skills and combination of great source and great adaptation would make for another great show...surely...

(SPOILERS: It didn’t)

Let’s start with the animation. This is a Studio DEEN effort, and...yeah, it has the look of a Studio DEEN effort. I can’t really say the animation is any worse than Higurashi; they’re both obviously budgeted shows. Nor are the character designs particularly bad, especially compared to the original VN artwork (it’s kind of a ONE deal going on where the storytelling far, FAR surpasses the presentation). What is sadly lacking here though is the direction; everything just feels very flat. Bits that are supposed to be scary just sort of hover in subspace and don’t really fit, which is bizarre because the designs are far less moe-fied than Higurashi, and yet the two aspects don’t blend anywhere near as well. Maybe the increased contrast means they fit better together? Possibly.

The music is also a little flat; none of it is bad but it’s not particularly noteworthy either. However the real standout bits of the presentation are the opening and ending themes; hooooly dang, they are cool. It’s pretty much as explicit in faux-epic as you can get but the massive Italian choirs and pumping synth orchestra is just cheesy enough to actually kind of work. The singers also help, with Akiko Shikata providing a soft and slightly sinister purveyor of oncoming tragedy in the opening, and Jimang absolutely knocking it out of the park with his booming scratchy vocals in the ending, as he lays out his plans and desires as Kinzo Ushiromiya himself. Along with bombastic visuals, it’s truly wonderful stuff that is frankly far better than the show it’s attached to.

So, that plot synopsis I gave above? Yeah...um...that’s kind of a lie. I thought that was what was going to happen, since I was expecting something along the lines of Higurashi. There’s even a similar narrative plotpoint which enables the exploration of the characters and the mystery. But there are a few key differences. For one...the hints at the supernatural in Higurashi? Yeah, they’re massively explicit here. Like...they’re not just hinted at. They are spectating the events and providing a running commentary. I’m not even lying. And you know what happens when you’re taking out from one group of characters and have somebody sit in fancy chairs and explain things? That’s right, it’s really obnoxious and confusing and boring. It’s really hard to get into anything when it gets interspersed with talking heads like a friggin’ reaction video.

But, I could have lived with that. After all, there’s still the mystery which needs to be solved, and the way to save the family of Ushiromiya...oh...wait. No. That doesn’t happen. Sorry but...instead of solving that mystery, we’re going to make another mystery. Which completely defeats the point of the first mystery. There’s a game going on between Beatrice and one of the family, in which they are trying to disprove the existence of witches.

But instead of trying to solve the ACTUAL mystery, the witch makes ANOTHER mystery where she clearly is the murder, and magic clearly exists. And once that finishes, she does it again, bringing in even more magic. In fact, the only way it’s at all possible to win against her is when another witch enters the fray and passes on knowledge and magic in order to effectively fight her (in, what I will mention, are blatant VN ‘magics’ which just feel forced and wrong). So we’ve reached the point where we’re watching several different murder mysteries going on, all with different characters and motivations, all being overseen by a witch doing it basically for shits and giggles and a guy using magic to try and disprove the use of magic.

Except we’re not, because apparently the writers don’t know how actual character development works when the guy basically ragequits the game when he realises that the murderous psycho witch was actually a murderous psycho witch...and she gets all depressed and wonders what she was doing wrong. And all the while there’s all this turmoil with the family and with the OTHER witches, and for crying out loud the show just keeps rolling out character after character and dumb plotpoint after dumb plotpoint, CONSTANTLY contradicting itself.

And all the while, the actual family members are basically acting as flesh-puppets. Some of them do get some backstory and motivation, which would be interesting and allow for a motive in order to make them both sympathetic and/or a potential culprit. But we spend so little time on them and far too much on the magical bullcrap going on around them, that they all just feel so flat and two-dimensional. And don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of emotional baggage here, but the delivery is just so...out of place that at best it’s boring and at worst it’s downright unpleasant. And the fact that there are several different versions of these characters going on at the same time makes it very difficult to actually relate to anyone. The worst culprit is probably Maria, the creepy little girl who is so obviously evil that apparently she wasn’t in the end and is a Pure Sweet Cinnamon RollTM except she...never was. Not that it matters in the end because most people just die multiple times.

So what we have here is a murder mystery that is never actually solved, a family which is never explored, all looked over by a group of witches doing witch things and a main player witch who isn’t actually a witch although she is using magic to do things while asking someone to prove she’s not doing magic to do things while other witches are playing a game with her and some poor guy standing there trying to disprove magic by using magic and by the way magic here is the very pinnacle of “It’s Magic, I Don’t Have To Explain It”, except when it isn’t and it does have proper rules which they never actually tell people and the show decides to change itself up again and follow a character we’ve never met go through a completely different story which amounts to...basically nothing because we kind of end this whole debacle exactly where we started, just because somebody felt like it, and did I mention that all the servants have magical Green Lantern powers and there’s a sassy devil butler and schoolgirl versions of the seven deadly sins (for crying out loud, again?) and there are weird bunny girl demons and talking lion plush toys and

By which point any sane person has already picked up this Cluedo board and flung it out the window.

I’ve seen incompetent shows. Shows far more dull, bad, offensive and just downright wrong shows than this. But this, without a doubt, is the most convoluted and utterly insane waste of time I’ve ever watched. And you know what? Half the time...it wasn’t even that bad. I mean, the stuff on screen. There were some decent horror moments, and some moments which went so far into the degree of tastelessness that it almost felt like a fetish show. And there was an awful lot of potential in both the characters and the mystery itself.

So what happened? The only thing I know is that when this anime was made...the visual novel had yet to be released. And I must just sit back and ask myself, why. Why would you make something before the source material is even out.

But even then, it could have worked as an adaptation. There was a great Higurashi-level mystery just waiting here, blending the supernatural and the all too possible nicely. The idea that magic is dependent on faith is a great idea, and if the first mystery was far more impossible, both on a physical and a moral level, it would have made for great stakes to examine that game and throughout the story find different ways in which the murder could have been explained. While at the same time, the characters’ backstories and motivations could be discovered as we try and discover who really did it, therefore thwarting the witch and settling the family problems to rest.

But no. No, we instead got twenty-six episodes of complete and utter insanity, that, in the end, is completely pointless and non-canon anyway. Ugh. If you want to know the story, play the visual novel instead. If you don’t, then...I don’t know, play some Phoenix Wright or Danganronpa. Anything’s got to be better than this.

Despite a fantastic premise, a lot of potential and a group of people who had proved they could do this well (seriously guys, what happened?), Umineko is a great big murder mystery mess of muck. Nothing is consistent, nothing is explored, and nothing is accomplished. Despite one or two decent parts, and a few moments that were entertaining on a purely WTH level, there is nothing that can stop this show from being ultimately a complete waste of time. Not the absolute worst, but easy to skip.

My score: 3/10

#umineko no naku koro ni #umineko: when they cry #when the seagulls cry #anime 2009 #studio deen

3 notes · View notes

gethealthy18-blog · 6 years ago

Text

10 Best Supplements For Glowing Skin

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/getting-healthy/getting-healthy-women/10-best-supplements-for-glowing-skin/

10 Best Supplements For Glowing Skin

Pratima Ati August 31, 2018

I have brittle nails.. My hair doesn’t grow beyond a point.. I see faint white patches on my skin.. Hair fall is beyond control… dull hair and skin..

Does any of this ring a bell? Then supplements are the answer for you. Why do you think we go through all of this despite thinking we are eating healthy? With changing lifestyle and considerable shifts in the environment, we are exposed to a lot more than our parents or their parents were about 40 years ago. The yield of our crops and nutrients in the soil are not half as potent as they were about 100 years ago. And that’s why all of us are battling chronic issues – from something as mild as acne or dull skin to life-threatening diseases that didn’t exist until very recently. How do we tackle this?

To begin with a healthy lifestyle, we must get the sufficient minerals and vitamins in every way possible. Supplements come a long way in improving the overall health of your skin. Let’s talk about them today.

10 Best Supplements For Glowing Skin

1. Vitamin E

Shutterstock

Vitamin E is a fat-soluble nutrient found naturally in a lot of foods. It also acts as an antioxidant that protects your skin from damage by free radicals, pollution, and sun exposure. We know it as just vitamin E, but it is a combination of eight essential compounds. It helps prevents acne (1). It also improves blood circulation and unclogs blood cells. Supplements contain higher doses of vitamin E, so consult a doctor if you want to be sure of the dosage limits.

2. Vitamin C

Shutterstock

Topical applications of vitamin C in the form of serums or eating foods enriched with vitamin C go a long way. But some of us do not get enough of it for various reasons, and it is one of the most recommended supplements. It boosts collagen production and contains antioxidants that repair skin damage (2).

3. Vitamin D

Shutterstock

Also known as the sunshine vitamin, it is one of the most common supplements people take. It is also highly prescribed by doctors because the deficiency can create many issues. If you are in a place that doesn’t get enough sun, you will most definitely need this in high doses. Consult your dermatologist or physician before taking it, but pay a visit to the doctor before – especially if you see tiny white patches and pale and dull skin.

4. Vitamin B12

Shutterstock

When you see someone with radiant skin, you know their diet and lifestyle are on point. If you think everything is fine and yet have hair fall and dull skin, add B12 to your diet and observe the results. B12 promotes red blood cell formation and functioning of the nerves, reduces pigmentation, and treats uneven skin tone.

5. Calcium

Shutterstock

Calcium deficiency manifests itself in the form of brittle nails, dull and dry patches, acne, etc. The deficiency also prevents the growth of new skin cells, making your skin lose its elasticity. Ensure you consciously add calcium-based foods to your diet. These include eggs, milk, nuts, and dairy products. However, this doesn’t cut it for women after 30. Taking calcium supplements is just as important as your skin and bones slowly start to lose their strength.

6. Collagen Supplements

Shutterstock

Aging and pollution exposure deplete collagen production, thereby hurting skin health. Orally ingesting collagen capsules comes a long way in counteracting the effects of anti-aging (3).

7. Biotin

Shutterstock

Biotin has a prominent role to play in giving you beautiful hair and skin. Biotin controls the death of skin cells, which is just as crucial for glowing skin.

8. Fish Oil

Shutterstock

Fish oil contains omega-3 fatty acids that help treat acne, wrinkles, fine lines, and blemishes. Foods like eggs and avocado contain omega-3s, but they may not be sufficient most often. There is a fatty layer called phospholipid bilayer that holds moisture for a longer time. It makes your skin look younger and plump. Omega-3s work on this layer and can have a direct impact on your skin.

9. Hyaluronic Acid

Shutterstock

Hyaluronic acid is an AHA found in most cosmetic products and has a significant effect on retaining your skin’s elasticity, viscosity, and hydration. Dry skin, wrinkles, and everything that comes with aging happen because the AHA production starts to decrease due to various reasons. Ingesting hyaluronic acid has proved to delay signs of aging (4).

10. Probiotics

Shutterstock

A healthy gut means healthy skin. Harmful toxins sticking around inside your gut can have a direct impact on your skin and manifest themselves in forms of acne, inflammation, and dark spots. Probiotics are more than just yogurt – so adding them to your diet has proved to improve skin health (5).

If you see something is unusually wrong, it’s always good to get a checkup done. Be on point with your diet and maintain a consistently healthy lifestyle.

Apart from the regular capsules, there are a lot of brands that have come up with a range of solutions in the form of shakes, powders, etc. to help you with better hair and skin. See what works for you, know the ingredients thoroughly just so that there are no side effects or allergies. Before you start taking supplements, run them by your doctor to be on the safer side.

Are you into supplements? Do you take any? Let us know by dropping a message in the comment section below.

References

1. “Does the level..”, US National Library of Medicine 2. “The Roles of..”, Nutrients, US National Library of Medicine 3. “Daily consumption of..”, Clinical Interventions In Aging, US National Library of Medicine 4. “Ingested hyaluronan moisturizes…”, Nutrition Journal, US National Library of Medicine 5. “Probiotic growth of…”, Benef Microbes, US National Library of Medicine

Feedback

How can we improve it?

This article contains incorrect information.

This article doesn’t have the information I’m looking for.

How helpful was it?

This article changed my life!

This article was informative.

The following two tabs change content below.

Latest posts by Pratima Ati (see all)

Pratima Ati

After working in Marketing and Business Development for a few years, Pratima Ati jumped ship to pursue two things she loved – fashion and writing. She’s now a full-time Fashion & Lifestyle writer and has never looked back ever since. She sleeps early, reads often, and when she can’t, she finally gives a closure to all the characters living in her drafts. Sometimes, they pass off as poetry too! That, and her training in Indian classical music and playing (learning) the veena keep her sane, civil, and bearable.

Source: https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/best-supplements-for-glowing-skin/

0 notes

home-is-where-the-tardis-takes-u · 6 years ago

Text

Sherrinford as the Subconscious, Eurus as the It and Sexuality; or: John is not the only one who has repressed his sexuality Sherlock did it, too but for Holmes reasons. Quite literally, for science (and thinking).

I’ve just finished rewatching (no idea how many times I did. I’ve lost count) The Final Problem.

While I still most definitely adhere to the EMP theory (I mean, come ON!), I’d like to add my two cents about it all.

It’s not orderly because they’re just my thoughts as I was watching the episode. But I imagine anyone who’ll read them is suffiently acquainted with the episode to know to which moments correspond this or that particular thought.

'the man you are today is your memory of Eurus'... Memory... Something to do with the brain, then. SUBCONSCIOUS

'after that he was different (...) they took her away'... Heteronormative stuck up society made Sherlock get rid of 'Eurus'

East Wind. EAST. Exotic. What is 'exotic'? Anything that does not adhere to societal norms. Stuffed his homosexuality down in a prison 'since early childhood'.

'shot John during a session' Interesting. VERY interesting.

Could be a metaphorical bloodstain at John’s therapist’s office. That of John's heterosexuality.

'Six. Six. Six. The number of the beast' ... Homosexuality is still considered sinful...

The flat exploding.... Both Sherlock and John coming out as partners to Mycroft who did NOT realise they were. John's previous Not Gay stance literally thrown out the window.

Sherlock and John storming a pirate boat... Well, to be together some homosexuals had to use devious methods. Schemes. Pretend (hello again, Oscar.)

'headed for the rocks' the captain says....there's danger if we're caught.

'this man stole my boat'... // 'whatever shakes your boat' (ASiP)

'I don't even know who he is' ; John looks, surprised, at Mycroft. He REALLY was not expecting John to play in that team.

And pirates were all cool with crewmates being couples, captains often married them.

John is not... At ease. His hands are... Moving. Fingers twitching (in the scene after Mycroft’s reveal of his fisherman disguise)

'did you bring my hairband' Hairband, accessory to change one's appearance.

And we all know that John's hand twitches (reaching for his gun) when he's upset/emotional.

(or to keep things 'in check'? Use a hairband to put around your attraction?)

'I never know if it's beautiful only that it's right' (talking about music)...often they're the same thing - if they're not always the same thing what's the point in beauty? //poetry or truth - many would say they're the same thing.

The look on Eurus' face when Sherlock starts playing 'him'...... Remember. She said. 'no, not Bach clearly you don't understand him. Play you.' not 'yourself' but 'you' there's something at work, here. So, Sherlock's acknowledged and embraced his sexuality which he kept repressed because they're dangerous/sinful what have you hence Eurus having been able to escape. Why not before.....

'one of the nurses got careless' /John is a doctor.

And her Christmas present....... Moriarty is clearly the embodiment of Sherlock's sexuality in the outside world. Eurus (psychological representation) and Moriarty (physical representation) together..... Collided. At LAST.

The tender smile at the end of the scene. She's proud of him. Happy to see him after so long. As she is. Not in a disguise. (next scene) John's worried of the storm breaking outside/worried over others' reaction? Over how Sherlock feels about them knowing? Symbol of Sherlock's inner agitation?

'She was never the same after that Christmas' //'after that he was different' HALF AN HOUR after. They're repeating themselves. Tut-tut.

'touch the glass and I'll tell you the truth' The glass is supposedly keeping her in - but the truth is she's not really. Like Moriarty in TRF she's there because she chose to.

Right. She chose to go back.

Because Sherlock chose to put her Because all of their friends don't... Quite agree? But still visit now and then (and there's nothing that says that she comes for a visit). The meeting with the whole family... Sherlock's coming out - they have to be exposed on a regular basis to understand and accept?

He's being 'the adult one'. By sacrificing himself again. He does not reject that part of himself (his visits... To stay sane, too and not go on a sociopathic murderous spree as Moriarty did? Remember, Moriarty was an actor pretending to be an actor. First time he 'accidentally' met Sherlock he was disguised as a gay man. And 'a disguise is always a self portrait') but he chose to put it back until it was 100% safe

'You're a celebrity these days Sherlock you can't afford a drug habit' (TEH)... You're a celebrity Sherlock, you can't afford being gay? That's not as frowned upon but...... But prejudiced people who would have come to him for help would not have done so had had he not been in the closet. (thinking of the US ambassador in TRF)

Also... The time line.

‘5 years ago.’ Sherlock might not have fallen for John immediately after meeting him (even though it certainly rattled something inside him) but...

18 months for series 1+2

Two years gap, Sherlock being dead and John grieving him.

Series 3 seems to span over a little less than a year (November-May/the wedding then Christmas and New Year/HLV)

TAB Sherlock's auto analysis and Mary's pregnant as an elephant (in the room). something like a year for series 4. Also, Sherlock and John met on 29th January. Not exactly Christmas date-wise but close enough. Besides it doesn't even say Christmas day. It says '5 years ago'

‘I want to break free’ That one does not even need any analysis, self explanatory.

Doesn't add up. 'so am I under arrest again?' er, that was 5 years ago. Assuming there's been a two years gap between TLD and TFP... Doesn't add up.

Moriarty has been under arrest as in Sherlock put him behind bars because he was starting to get promiscuous.

('am I under arrest again' references on an obvious level THB... But they've taught us to read between the lines haven't they...)

I mean 'she's noted your interest in the activities of my little brother' Said little brother thinks metaphorical and exterior sexuality and feelings should meet because things with John... Upset him and he doesn't understand (you're falling for him and you want him, you complete moron)

An event in Sherlock's childhood that made him aware that he liked boys? While not conscious it's far from being unlikely that a genius would not become mature earlier than his peers.

He might have rejected it because 'Ew, involves feelings. Messy. I'd rather stay focussed and logical.' Not homosexuality, but sexuality as a whole.

Noticed that Eurus meeting with Moriarty shifts into John opening his eyes.

Sherlock telling Mycroft to 'shut up, dear' shows how serious he is. Doesn't want to engage in banter. With his family. This is a serious matter.

He's 'met his sister', after all.

About the trials... 'it has to be your brother or your friend'... 'focus on moral conflicts'.... Deciding?

What if the time line in Sherrinford is skewed as well? Most of it happens 'five years ago' and in the end he does choose for Eurus to get back to the prison - but he will visit her and not forget his complete identity until time proves to be right.

'today we have to be soldiers' Important sentence, Sherlock looks up to watch John say it. Coming out even to oneself is a battle hence the soldier part.

The Garridebs is about sight. That's the most important clue. Sherlock's turning an inner eye on himself.

The coffin is about feelings of love. Save love. Don't let it die

'It's not a game. I need you to help me.' //'for God's sake Sherlock, it's not a game!' (TLD)

Molly not only is a John mirror she also (here) is the representation of Love. (Mike Stamford is the representation of Cupid)

And Eurus is emotional over it. 'look what you did to yourself'.

Kinda killed Love without having it really utterly die.

He's not ready (let's assume it's all 5 years ago. Would have been hard for the make up department to unage them all after all)

He refuses to make a choice - John or Mycroft.

'You shame the family name'......

‘Connection, connection, connection, there must be a connection.’

Well... John/sexuality/emotions vs Mycroft/reason/not- heteronormativity-but- close Holmes don't do these things. Because sex is base (as in ‘interferes with thinking’) And Holmes who pride themselves in their brain will hold that as the most important of all. Hence the 'you shame the family name' and Holmes reaction when Watson told him 'you are flesh and bones you have - you must have impulses' - Not because it was Watson but because he does have impulses that interfere with thinking

'Just turbulence'....... Coming to a conclusion....? Or starting to.

'I am lost without your live save me soul seek my room' // I want to break free... And I want you to acknowledge me.

So by TSOT Sherlock's deduced himself in love with John but series 4 is about him and John coming to terms with their sexuality.

'locked him in her old cell (...) not as strong as he thinks he is' // Mycroft's repressing his own sexuality, too (also, back to the film he was watching at the beginning of the episode) 'I'm not lonely, Sherlock. - how would you know?'

(that film was a guilty pleasure. Because indulging in er, sensations. Couldn't show porn, could they.)

Sherlock and john rebuilding 221b. Phoenix rises from its ashes. (I know Ash!)

'who you really are, it doesn't matter. It's all about the adventures'

It doesn't matter, shouldn't matter to society because its YOU who come first. You and your adventures. It is YOUR life.

#sherlock #tfp #my ramblings #emp with a twist #never stop the thinking #the game is never over anyway #tinfoil hat #weird chronology

0 notes

trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

Text

35 Books To Build Your Character: The Definitive Reading List on Humility and Ego

Ryan Holiday’s Instagram

Last week I got an email from a young man who asked me for a reading list of books about humility. Since it would have been absurdly hypocritical to answer with my own book, Ego is the Enemy (even if it was to point him to the bibliography I was much indebted to at the back), I decided to put together this list.

In my reading, I’ve found that books on this topic fall into a few distinct categories. First are books of advice. These are books that give us strategies and insights about how to stay balanced, clear-headed and humble. The next are what might be called cautionary tales—biographies that chart the fall of egomaniacs or stories from history about the costs of letting things go to your head. Conversely, there is also inspiration of remarkably successful people who resisted the tug of ego and stayed sane and sober despite it all.

This battle against ego is essential and one we find across cultures, schools and generations. In fact, it would be hard to find any wise or successful person who didn’t warn against ego. From Genghis Khan’s saying, “If you can’t swallow your pride, you can’t lead” to Cyril Connolly’s “Ego sucks us down like the law of gravity” to Marina Abramovic’s line, “Your ego can become an obstacle to your work. If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity.”

So fight it. A lot depends on whether you win the battle. Hopefully these books will help.

***

Advice

How Adam Smith Can Change Your Life by Russ Roberts — Russ Roberts did the world an amazing service by reintroducing Adam Smith’s The Theory of Moral Sentiments and making it accessible to modern readers. One of the best parts is “The Indifferent Spectator,” a wonderful exercise to evaluate potential behavior. It forces you to ask: What would a completely indifferent human being think about what I am about to do? Would I be embarrassed? Would I try to rationalize this to them? Would they respect it? The exercise will bring you a much needed dose of objectivity into your own behavior—it will be the strongest antidote you can bring in your fight with ego and pride.

The Captain Class: The Hidden Force That Creates the World’s Greatest Teams by Sam Walker — This book from the founding editor of The Wall Street Journal’s sports section aims at answering one question: What did the most dominant sports teams of all time have in common? The answer that emerges is that each had the same type of captain—a leader who led the team to historic greatness. But here’s the crazy thing about those leaders: It’s rarely the person you think. For instance, the Chicago Bulls were led to success not by Jordan but by Bill Cartwright. Or the US Women’s Soccer team, which won the World Cup, was actually led by Carla Overbeck (and her secret? She would unload the bus for her teammates at each stop). There is a wonderful chapter in this book about how captains “carry water” for the team—how they are strong yet humble enough to do the things other people aren’t willing to do.

The Road To Character by David Brooks — When General Stanley McChrystal was asked on the Tim Ferriss podcast what was a recent purchase that had most positively impacted his life, he pointed to this book. I agree. It can be a bit stilted and dense at times, but it should be assigned reading to any young person today (a little challenge is a good thing). Illustrating with diverse examples and stories from great men and women, from Dorothy Day to Dwight Eisenhower, Brooks admonishes the reader to undertake their own journey of character perfection. In my own book, I explore the same topic (humility) from a different angle using similar stories—I’m attacking ego, he’s building up character. Brooks’s meditation on the difference between the eulogy virtues, the ones that are talked about at your funeral, versus the resume virtues, the skills you bring on the market, is also great.

A Fighter’s Mind by Sam Sheridan — Sam Sheridan’s work first turned me onto the paradoxical humility of the men who practice such an aggressive and dangerous trade. Through interviews with some of the most remarkable fighters today, like champions Randy Couture, Frank Shamrock, Dan Gable, Greg Jackson and others, the book illustrates how lack of ego and humility are the bedrocks of success in one of the most unforgiving sports. As Frank Shamrock would say in the book: “Ego is an evil thing. Confidence is important but ego is something false. Humility is the way to build confidence, and ego is hugely dangerous in this sport…It’s all garbage, the ego is garbage.”

So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love by Cal Newport — Unlike other modern advice, Cal takes a different tack when it comes to your career: It’s not about marketing and promoting yourself, it’s about pouring that energy into the work. It’s not about how much you love what you’re doing, it’s about the value you create for other people. Cal’s book also does a great job at explaining why “follow your passion” is bad advice when it comes to what to do as your career.

Humilitas: A Lost Key to Life, Love, and Leadership by John Dickson — This is a short book by historian John Dickson who shows how humility was the most critical virtue for the great men and women in history. The book illustrates how humility is not low self-esteem and self-loathing but it recognizes our inherent worth and seeks to use whatever power we have at our disposal on behalf of others.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson — This book has secured a foothold in every imaginable bestseller list for a good reason. Even if you only read the “You Are Not Special” chapter, it will be well worth your money and time. Mark writes against the grandiosity, entitlement and superiority that has come to define our times—that what we need is objectivity and humility to accept reality on reality’s terms. As he writes, “The knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence will actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish, without judgment or lofty expectations.”

Creativity: The Psychology of Discovery and Invention by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi —In interviewing essentially an entire generation of brilliant creative minds from every discipline, Mihaly was able to present the most accurate and relatable picture of what it means to be an artist or a creative. As you’ll see, it’s not ego that these people have in common but humility and a love of craft. It’s not tortured angst either, but a desire to express themselves and do work that matters (and in many cases, to also have happy lives and families). In a way, it makes it clear that the Kanye West’s or the Kurt Cobain’s of the world are the exceptions that prove the rule—not models for aspiring creatives to base their careers on.

The Education of a Coach by David Halberstam / The Winner Within by Pat Riley / The Score Takes Care of Itself by Bill Walsh — These three “coach” books are classics for a reason. A coach after all is fighting multiple battles daily: How do you keep one player from becoming complacent? How do you build another one up without fanning the flames of ego? How do you keep them all humble and hardworking? Each book offers timeless lessons in one of the most challenging professions. Pat Riley’s concept of “the disease of me” is a great articulation of what happens to individuals and to teams as they begin to achieve success. Halberstam’s line that Bill Belichick is “not only in the steak business, but he has contempt for sizzle” is brilliant. It’s why the man has been able to build one of the greatest franchises in the history of sports. Bill Walsh’s “Standards of Excellence” are absolutely worth reading about, but most of all I was deeply inspired by the way that Walsh, decades after his Super Bowls, resisted the urge to take credit for it all or to claim that it was all part of some sweeping vision or plan.

The Vanishing American Adult: Our Coming-of-Age Crisis—and How to Rebuild a Culture of Self-Reliance by Ben Sasse — This is a thoughtful, non-partisan, and constructive book written by the Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse. It shows you what it means to be an adult, a citizen, and a mature contributing member of society. Senator Sasse’s book is a manifesto on the virtues of hard work, humility, compassion, and duty as well as the perils of modern entitlement and forever-childhood that have messed with the millennial generation. For anyone on the fence about the book I would suggest you at least listen to or read his conversation with Tyler Cowen. It’s just as valuable as the book.

But What If We’re Wrong? Thinking About The Present As If It Were The Past by Chuck Klosterman — It’s always good to remind ourselves that almost everything we’re certain about will probably be eventually proven wrong. Klosterman’s subtitle—Thinking About the Present As If It Were the Past—is a brilliant exercise for getting some perspective and humility. Whether you think, say 2018 is going to be a year of radical change for the better or a horrible year of excesses of dangerous precedent, you’re probably wrong. You’re probably not even in the ballpark. This book shows you why, not with lectures about politics, but with a bunch of awesome thought experiments about music, books, movies and science.

Inspiration

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius — I would call this the greatest book ever written. It is the definitive text on self-discipline, personal ethics, humility, self-actualization, and strength. Meditations is perhaps the only document of its kind ever made. It is the private thoughts of the world’s most powerful man giving advice to himself on how to make good on the responsibilities and obligations of his positions. To remain humble and avoid the trappings of his position. Trained in Stoic philosophy, Emperor Marcus Aurelius stopped almost every night to practice a series of spiritual exercises—reminders designed to make him humble, patient, empathetic, generous, and strong in the face of whatever he was dealing with.

Marshall: Hero for Our Times by Leonard Mosley and General of the Army: George C. Marshall, Soldier and Statesman by Ed Cray — For every Douglas MacArthur or George McClellan (see his bio below), brilliant but laughably convinced of their own greatness and power, there is someone like George Marshall, a general who accomplished far more (far more quietly) and coveted far less credit along the way. For instance, during World War II he was practically offered the command of the troops on D-Day. Yet he told President Roosevelt: “The decision is yours, Mr. President; my wishes have nothing to do with the matter.” It came to be that Eisenhower led the invasion and performed with excellence. Marshall put the mission and purpose above himself—an act of selflessness and lack of ego we need to remind ourselves of. To learn more about George Marshall, read Dean Acheson’s homage to the great man as well as the lecture “A Case Study in Principled Leadership: General George C. Marshall’s Core Beliefs.” Matthew

Sadaharu Oh: A Zen Way of Baseball by Sadaharu Oh — Sadaharu Oh is the legendary Japanese hitter who holds the world lifetime home run record, having hit 868 home runs during his professional career and was inducted into the Japanese Baseball Hall of Fame in 1994. This rare book is out of print but is an incredible autobiography and meditation on the humility necessary in reaching the heights in one’s craft. It’s a memoir more than it is a book about baseball so even if you don’t like sports, you will get a lot out of it.

How to Live: Or A Life of Montaigne in One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer by Sarah Bakewell — The book is spectacular. It was a bestseller in the UK and was featured in a 6 part series in The Guardian. The format of the book is a bit unusual, instead of chapters it is made up of 20 Montaigne style essays that discuss the man from a variety of different perspectives. Montaigne was a man obsessed with figuring himself out—why he thought the way he did, how he could find happiness, his fetishes, his near-death experiences. His epistemological humility is admirable, and it is why philosopher Nassim Taleb has said that Montaigne is “worthy of respect because he’s intensely introspective, with the courage of resisting his own knowledge.”

Sherman: Soldier, Realist, American by B.H Liddell Hart — There is a stunningly profound quote from the author in this biography that defines Sherman’s genius, a Civil War hero who, as a quiet, unglamorous realist, has been forgotten, or worse, vilified. “Among men who rise to fame and leadership two types are recognizable— those who are born with a belief in themselves and those in whom it is a slow growth dependent on actual achievement. To the men of the last type their own success is a constant surprise, and its fruits the more delicious…It is poise, not pose.”

Titan: The Life of John D. Rockefeller Sr. by Ron Chernow — Despite his reputation as a robber baron, Rockefeller is stoic, incredibly resilient, humble and compassionate. Most people get worse as they get successful, many more get worse as they age. In fact, Rockefeller began tithing his money with his first job and gave more of it away as he became successful. He grew more open-minded the older he became, more generous, more pious, more dedicated to making a difference. In fact, Rockefeller would admonish himself daily with thoughts like this one: “Because you have got a start, you think you are quite a merchant; look out, or you will lose your head — go steady. Are you going to let this money puff you up? Keep your eyes open. Don’t lose your balance.”

Personal History by Katharine Graham — After the tragic suicide of her husband, who ran The Washington Post and which they both owned, Katharine Graham, at age 46 and a mother of three, with no work experience to speak of, found herself overseeing the Post through its most tumultuous and difficult years (think Watergate and the Pentagon papers). Eventually, she became one of the best CEOs of the 20th century, period. It wasn’t ego that drove her success. Because it wasn’t about her. It was about preserving her family’s legacy. Protecting the paper. Doing her job. She pulled through and endured with a strong sense of purpose, fortitude, and humility that we can all learn from.

The Hidden-Hand Presidency: Eisenhower as Leader by Fred I. Greenstein — When the author began his research on leadership and how presidents actually get things done, he had a quick stop at the Eisenhower Library to confirm Ike was as hands-off as possible, playing golf and letting his lieutenants run the country. In fact, this was all a brilliant act because Eisenhower was a master of behind the scenes power. Eisenhower didn’t need feel the need to go around pretending to be presidential, giving big speeches or fighting with opponents in the other party. He preferred to work behind the scenes, avoiding open conflict and quietly getting things done. This book is a masterclass on in his technique: it’s not through talking, it’s not through looking tough, it’s through organization, delegation and through behind the scenes influence.

Cautionary Tales

What Makes Sammy Run by Budd Schulberg — Sammy is the all-American heel. He’s your Ari Gold without the slightest bit of human decency. He rises through the ranks of Hollywood without ever writing a word. He is shadows and illusions, and the ultimate power-player. Sadly, as Schulberg mentions in his introduction, the message has been perverted. Our society tends to see Sammy as a hero instead of a villain—or at least someone to pity. What Makes Sammy Run? is a novel that reminds us that even with egotists “win,” they lose.

Ask the Dust, Dreams from Bunker Hill, Wait Until Spring, Bandini and The Road to Los Angeles by John Fante — In John Fante’s Ask the Dust (part of a series known as The Bandini Quartet, included in this section), the protagonist is the young Arturo Bandini who alienates every person he meets as he tries to become a famous writer. The young writer doesn’t experience the life he is living, he sees it all “across a page in a typewriter,” wondering if nearly every second of his life is a poem, a play, a story, a news article with him as its main character. It feels good— so much better than those feelings of doubt and fear and normalness— and so we similarly stay stuck inside our heads instead of participating in the world around us. That’s ego, baby. Get out of your own head.

Howard Hughes: His Life and Madness by Donald L. Barlett — Howard Hughes is the archetypal example of someone who was made worse by success—in fact, I’d argue he was probably one of the worst businessmen of the entire 20th century. Stripped of the marketing and the Hollywood glamour, Hughes’ story is unbelievably sad (and worse, mostly self-inflicted). As he said to one of his aides, as he neared death, “If you had ever swapped places in life with me, I would be willing to bet that you would have demanded to swap back before the passage of the first week.” Which is why we ought to learn from his example before we find ourselves in a similar position.

The Young Napoleon: George McClellan by Stephen W. Sears — In Union General George McClellan, you have a delusional egotist who fought poorly for a good cause. It’s interesting because McClellan was such a smart and talented man yet he nearly lost the war on several occasions (and also lost chances to win the war). The title of the book comes from the nickname his friends gave him due to his outsized ego, and the book really stands as an important, cautionary tale. Related, I also recommend Tides of War by Steven Pressfield (Alcibiades’ monstrous ego—fictionalized here—is a similar cautionary tale).

The Power Broker by Robert A. Caro — The 1,165 pages chronicle the rise of Robert Moses who built just about every other major modern construction project in New York City. The public couldn’t stop him, the mayor couldn’t stop him, the governor couldn’t stop him, and only once could the President of the United States stop him. But ultimately, you know where the cliché must take us. Robert Moses was an asshole. He may have had more brain, more drive, more strategy than other men, but he did not have more compassion. And ultimately power turned him into something monstrous. If you like this, read Caro’s four-part series on Lyndon Johnson which is a similar meditation on ego and power.

What I Learned Losing a Million Dollars by Jim Paul and Brendan Moynihan — There are lots of books on aspiring to something. Very little are from actual people who aspired, achieved, and lost it. With each and every successful move that he made, Jim Paul, who made it to Governor of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, was convinced that he was special, different, and exempt from the rules. Once the markets turned against his trades, he lost it all — his fortune, job, and reputation. That’s what makes this book a critical part in understanding how letting arrogance and pride get to your head is the beginning of your unraveling. Learn from stories like this instead of by your own trial and error. Think about that next time you believe you have it all figured out.

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand — Why Atlas Shrugged? Because the entire premise of the book, “You guys don’t appreciate me so I’m taking my ball and going home,” is an exercise in ego and petulence. There is something deeply appealing to an egotistical teenager about leaving the world behind to selfishly pursue your craft. The question is: Would you want everyone else to do that? Of course not. At the end of the day Plato’s allegory of the cave is a far better way to live your life than Galt’s Gulch ever will be.

The Great Beanie Baby Bubble: Mass Delusion and the Dark Side of Cute by Zac Bissonnette — Right before he destroyed his own billion-dollar company, Ty Warner, creator of Beanie Babies, overrode the objections of one of his employees and bragged, “I could put the Ty heart on manure and they’d buy it!” This book is a study of ego and entitlement but also fascinating from a variety of perspectives: psychology, economics, popular culture, leadership, creativity. It intersects all of them as the story of a financial bubble, a cultural fad, a poorly run company and an eccentric creative. It is one of the best narrative business books out there.

Grand Delusions: The Cosmic Career of John DeLorean by Hillel Levin — Just like Ty Warner, John DeLorean, the brilliant engineer and car designer followed a similar trajectory. He was brilliant creatively, but no amount of brilliance could compensate for the destructiveness of his ego. It was ego and his inability to work well with others that drove him out of General Motors. His ego mired his new company in chaos and dysfunction. Ultimately, instead of being able to reflect on these failures and resolve them, he hatched a plan to save his company from insolvency with a $60 million dollar cocaine deal instead of, you know, anything but that.

Billion Dollar Lessons: What You Can Learn from the Most Inexcusable Business Failures of the Last 25 Years by Paul B. Carroll — Most business books are about what went right. This one isn’t. It’s about painful failures. The ones that get repeated over and over and over. This book will humble future CEOs and keep them conservative—which is an important balance for any ambitious person.

Articles/Misc.

Here are some other quicker reads I recommend:

Read Dr. Reverend Sam Wells’ speech “Outrageous Humility.” George Packer’s epic New Yorker piece on Angela Merkel, “The Quiet German,” is fascinating. There is also a fantastic and equally epic profile on her in Vanity Fair by Maureen Orth. This piece about the fall of Uber’s Travis Kalanick basically follows the exact plot of Ego is the Enemy and is an important cautionary tale. A great essay from the investor Paul Graham is “Keep Your Identity Small.” Cheryl Strayed’s essay, “Write Like a Motherfucker,” is a classic. I wrote last year about how the David vs. Goliath story illustrates the difference between ego, confidence and humility. Arnold’s essay on Marcus Aurelius is a must read. You might also like this piece from me: “The Fascinating and Ego-Killing Existence of Human Wormholes.”

***

And of course it would be egotistical to actually believe my own headline. There’s no way this list is actually definitive, but it is a start. If you have any other recommendations or additions, please let me know!

Like to Read? I’ve created a list of 15 books you’ve never heard of that will alter your worldview and help you excel at your career. Get the secret book list here!

Read more: https://thoughtcatalog.com/ryan-holiday/2018/02/35-books-to-build-your-character-the-definitive-reading-list-on-humility-and-ego/

from Viral News HQ https://ift.tt/2I0TQKv via Viral News HQ

#IFTTT #Viral News HQ

0 notes

tanmath3-blog · 7 years ago

Text

I’m going to start this interview a little differently. This is the blurb for Andy Graham’s new book. Enjoy!!!

You’re eighteen. Bored. Dad’s away a lot. Says its business, but you’ve seen the lipstick stains. Mum’s home. Too much. Keeping the world gin market afloat on her own. There’s Ariel, the family maid. She’s cool. The one piece of this messed up world that makes sense. And then there’s Raph.

Raph’s the leader of your gang of two. He gets off on doing those things to the animals you both catch: the slicing, crushing, and maiming. Buried a few alive, too. His relationship with that hammer of his is sick.

You run with Raph because, well, nothing else to do out here, right? Except if your folks found out what you’ve been up to, there’d be hell.

Then you find it. Whatever it is.

It can’t be what you think it is. Those things don’t exist. But it’s staring at you. Asking for help. Is it dying? Can these things die? You need to do something for it. Raph wants to do something to it.

Time to choose. Do you run with the human devil you know, or take a chance on this thing that fell from the heavens?

An Angel Fallen is a tale of divine retribution from British author Andy Graham. On a day when the world is struggling to stay sane, and is being ravaged by biblical plagues, what price will two teenagers pay for their past?

Please welcome Andy Graham to Roadie Notes…….

1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

Mid-teens. It was a mash-up of LOTR and D&D, written in a red exercise book I’d nicked from school. I don’t know what happened to the original story (it may be gathering dust in a box at the back of my Mum’s loft), but some of those ideas resurfaced recently in some of my short stories, e.g. a spiral staircase that always turns left, whether you’re going up or down it. I then had a long break from writing when the teenage years (and hormones) kicked in. I wrote a lot of short stories when I was working as an EFL teacher, and even looked into publishing them, but didn’t start writing properly until a few years ago.

2. How many books have you written?

Three novels. One set of short stories. One novella.

The novels are my main work to date. The Lords of Misrule is a series of dystopian political thrillers set in an alternate world based on 21st Century EU/ US. They are dark, ambiguous, and the events are very, very possible. That is proving to be both their strength and weakness with readers. Some people like the ‘greyness’ and moral flexibility, others prefer their stories and characters more black and white.

My short stories and the novella explore the dark themes of human psyche in more detail than my longer works. Purely by nature of the stories being shorter, the nastiness is much more concentrated.

3. Anything you won’t write about?

Sparkly vampires with a heart of gold. It’s a crazy idea, it’ll never work. Apart from that, I haven’t found anything I won’t write about, yet. I think most subjects are fair game, it’s the way they are handled that’s important. G.R.R. Martin, for instance, tackles the theme of incest in ASOIAF, but doesn’t go into intimate detail (thankfully). I don’t want to deal with that particular topic, but if for some reason it came up in a story, would I go there? If it revulses me, would it revulse a reader? Is the ‘duty’ of a fiction author purely to entertain? If so, does provoking an emotional response count? I guess if it serves the plot, yes. If it’s there just to be cringe-worthy, then no.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

I’m in my mid-forties (as a friend of mine pointed out – ‘over half-way’), married, and have two kids who are still at the wonderful age when they want to spend time with me, and I with them. My wife, fortunately, also still wants to spend time with me. I do various things outside writing: I play bass in a band, teach sports massage, and I am a qualified osteopath. It’s a little manic at times trying to keep up with all of these things, but I like the variety, and it gives me plenty of material to use in my stories.

5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

Ahhhhh. Pass… Not sure. The first proper novel I wrote (Franklin – The Lords of Misrule: Book 2) is probably my favourite story. I Died Yesterday (the titular short story from my compilation), is the one that haunts me most. An Angel Fallen (this novella) is the one I’m proudest of.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

It’s always been something I wanted to do. Not entirely sure why. Maybe because I grew up in a house full of books, or because I was a shy kid, happier with words than people. As I mentioned before, it took me a long time before I actually started writing properly. Eventually, it was a case of just making time for something I’d really wanted to do. It’s something I’d encourage everyone to do – if you really want to do something, make time for it. Otherwise, it’s never going to happen.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

Make things up and write them down. Outside of that, I play my bass, run around with my kids, and go to the gym (though that’s more like therapy, to be honest).

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

Drink. Wine. Beer. Slivovice. Then start writing the next book.

9. Where do you write? Quiet or music?

I write wherever I can. That’s one of the beauties of the job – you just need a keyboard and imagination. I’m happiest in my front room, sitting in an armchair. I can’t write with music on, it gets in the way of my plot (and spelling).

10. Anything you would change about your writing?

Yes! I seem to have an allergy to punctuation. I’d love to be able to clean that up, it would help the editing process in particular. I tended to get carried away with some of my descriptions in my earlier books. That has improved, I’m much more concise now.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

Revenge: to watch my kids struggling with their own children as I struggled with them. Otherwise: Fame? No, not too concerned. Money? Yes, being financially secure would be great. (Anyone who says money’s not important is either lying or loaded.) Success as an author would be fantastic. But, without wanting to be too pretentious, my main dream is for my kids to grow up happy and healthy in a world which is not full of people being such f*****s to each other. But, then, if we did live in such a world, I wouldn’t feel as inspired to write dark fiction.

12. Where do you live?

At the moment in Prague, but we’re in the process of moving to a tiny village in the middle of nowhere. Mixed feelings about it, to be honest. Prague’s a great place, we have good friends, the kids are happy, but the opportunity to ‘go native’ out in the sticks and get ready for the apocalypse is too good to miss.

13. Pets?

The kids have two budgies, initially called Bertik and Pirko. (The latter means ‘feather’ in Czech.) Through sheer bloody-minded persistence and repetition I’ve managed to get them renamed Bucket and Pivo. (The latter means ‘beer’ in Czech.)

14. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

Being judge, jury, and executioner. I get to control who lives and dies, who gets vengeance, and who gets what they got coming to them.

15. What is coming next for you?

I want to finish book four of my main series (The Lords of Misrule). I’m about a third of the way through the first draft. I’m finding it tough going at the moment because there’s so much else going on. I’d like that published by the end of the year. I also have a collection of short stories set in that world coming out in a few months’ time. Then, who knows? I have a few ideas knocking around to build on An Angel Fallen, also supernatural horrors, and similar in length. I have rough plans for a few supernatural thrillers, or I may dip my toes in Joe Abercrombie’s pond and go full, epic grimdark.

You can connect with Andy Graham here:

http://www.andygrahamauthor.com twitter – @andygraham2001 FB – andy graham author.

Some of Andy Graham’s books:

Getting personal with Andy Graham I'm going to start this interview a little differently. This is the blurb for Andy Graham's new book.

0 notes

solaciummeae · 8 years ago

Text

She’s a Pretty Girl– She’s Always Falling Down; And I Think I Just Fell in Love With Her | Part 17

MOOD MUSIC

Considering where they’d been even a mere few days ago things had started to go back to normal. Better than normal actually. They were lucky Dean had been so tolerant of the two of them as long as he had. Emma wasn’t always so affectionate as Jude was, but with the progress of their relationship it had become more natural. Usually, it only elicited the fairly typical, “Gross,” from Dean.

Emma had done a lot of thinking in this time. She thought mostly of Adam who had seemingly disappeared for good this time. It was the worry that plagued her mind more than any other. She didn’t so much care about Bobby coming home and finding Jude there, she could handle that. In the end, it didn’t really matter what he felt about the situation. The truth of it was, she was in love– again– only this time, it would last. She couldn’t explain why she had so much confidence in what she had with Jude. It could be the very tangible son who they’d met. Or maybe its the dreams that fill her sleep– pushing away the nightmares so that she wakes up feeling rested.

She finds herself getting used to the idea that its real this time. He’s not going to leave her like the others did. The only time he had– it’d been to benefit her– not for some bullshit excuse that he couldn’t fully explain to her. Likewise, she’d made more than conscious efforts to understand all that he’d been through when he’d been away. She’d never known of anyone suffering so much simply because she wasn’t in their life anymore.

In turn, Jude was more than happy to share his thoughts with her. They had ritual sessions every day now of just sitting and reading each others memories from the time. He’d been reluctant at first to let her see some of it because he didn’t want to trigger her own guilt– but she’d insisted. Sometimes they just sat there in front of each other with their eyes closed and made comments to each other about what they saw in the other’s mind. He’d begun to feel as though he knew her better than anyone else in the entirety of his life– almost. For that, he’s grateful– even if she still blocks him from some parts of her mind.

Presently, as they sit on her bed, her hands overlapping his between them he opens his eyes. He doesn’t want to ask but he knows she can sense it coming. Its all too obvious when her hands fly back from his and her own eyes shoot open just as he’d been trying to get in.

“No–…” Its all she can even think to say at first. She can’t let him see her like that. Its the one thing she’s certain could and would drive him away. There was good reason for why she always blocked those memories from him. Any memories before roughly the age of twenty-three. That’s about where she can pinpoint the real turnaround in her mental health. She’d lived with Bobby for two years at that point and she’d found a good rhythm. She’d had a steady flow of people who cared about her in her life at that point.

But anything before– was a risk she wasn’t willing to take. He thinks he knows her, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t know her past, her biological family– none of it.

“Emma come on– please?” He doesn’t mean to sound so desperate, it just happens. He can tell where the cut off is and he doesn’t like it. It makes him feel as though there’s this other whole half of herself– her life– that she hides from him, more than half. If he’s right, she lets him in on only the past two and a half years or so. Its almost exactly to the time that they’d met.

She shakes her head, practically glaring at him. “Trust me– you don’t want to know. Its better this way.” She puts her hands out as if to stop him from further arguing with her on the subject.

He has to admit, he’s more than a little offended by the fact that she so easily dismisses the matter entirely. “Better? How can it be better when I know next to nothing about your life before I met you?” He challenges, even as she stares him down. His eyes fight back just as openly defiant as her own.

“You don’t want to see me that way– it would–”

“–What? What would it do?” He presses, not even letting her finish. He refuses to give up. This is too important to him. He can’t believe that she doesn’t feel the same way. “Give me insight? Help me understand where you come from? Tell me all you’ve been through?” He continues unrelentingly.

She shakes her head more violently this time. Her mind shoots off the sarcastic remark faster than her mouth can form the words. ‘Make you stop loving me?’ She knows he heard it so she continues killing him with her eyes.

Jude begins laughing– not because the situation is in any way funny, but more because of the impossibility of the suggestion from her mind. He gives her an incredulous look as his own head motions side to side. “That’s not going to happen, remember?”

Still, her eyes bear down on him. She’s so certain that he only appears confident because he has not a clue what he’s talking about. She can feel the frustration rising within herself. This just wasn’t something that she could back down on. She knows exactly what she’s talking about whereas he only assumes he does. “You don’t know what it was like back then– you don’t know what I was like…” She begins slowly. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

His eyes narrow at her in concentration. “I’m sorry– were you not the woman who sat here– for the past three days– and watched every single pathetic part of my time away from you?” He asks as though she’s being completely ridiculous.

“Jude…” She tilts her head back toward the ceiling with a groan.

“Emma.” He pauses. “I don’t know if you were paying attention or not but I probably won’t be able to consume alcohol the same way I used to for the rest of my life.” He retorts, his eyebrows knitting together in offense. “Its called alcoholism. I went through withdrawals– we just haven’t gotten to that part– but if it will prove to you just how bad it really was? So be it. We’ll do it right now.” He can’t help but wonder when they became children trying to best each other’s burdens.

So maybe she feels like a jerk because he does have a point. He may be perfectly sane most of the time, but even she can’t deny how messed up his life had become for those horrid six months. She’s keen on the leaving it all behind just as soon as they’ve rehashed all of it in their minds together.

Jude puts his hands back out to rest in the space where their knees meet on the bed. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous to have her see this part of their journey, maybe because it was fairly disgusting.

She looks over to him just as defiantly as he’d been before, placing her hands over his and closing her eyes. Jude’s are forced shut but he doesn’t have time to activate that part of his memory as those of her own play in his mind in rapid succession.

The emotions she feels at the memories are of the highest level of toxicity– like she can’t breathe as she thinks on her life before. There’s a deep frown that instantly comes over his features as he sifts through it all, trying to keep his own feelings toward it neutral so as not to scare her away.

It starts with a little girl in an older house. She couldn’t have been more than seven and her mother is yelling at her, bearing down on the child. Its clear that she’s made some kind of mistake and is now being reamed for it. A little boy appears and tries to calm down the mother, telling her that Izzy is hungry– as if that takes more precedence. The little girl’s mother points her index finger into her face and tells her if she finds out she’s done anything else she will go to bed without dinner. After the mother leaves, the little boy hugs his sister. He tells her that she didn’t mean it, and that even if she did– he’ll bring her food later.

In a flash they move onto the next. This time the younger version of Emma sits in her father’s lap, crying about something that had happened prior to the moment. The older man sits there with one arm firmly around his daughter’s middle while the hand of his other wipes away the tears at her face. “I love you enough for both of us sweetheart, sometimes its just hard for her to understand.” He says, causing Jude to realize it must have been something to do with her mother again.

When the vision shifts again, she’s sitting slumped over in a chair as a psychiatric doctor tells her he can’t help her if she doesn’t try. She looks at him as though she’s going to cry, shaking her head and attempting to defend herself with her parents in the room. Her father looks almost as sad as she does. Her mother looks disappointed and judgmental at the now young teenage girl that sits in the middle.

Moments later the memory opens onto a group of teenagers sitting in a circle. They all seem to be watching Emma carefully as she confesses to having a hard week– that she’d been cutting again and starving herself too. A few of them nod in understanding as the group therapist offers support before opening up suggestions to the floor. Jude notices that even the other patients in the group are harsh toward Emma. One of them even tells her to “grow up.”

The following memory is perhaps the most disturbing yet. She sits in a hospital bed in an over-sized gown. Her hair is a mess as she sits on the bed seemingly attempting to make herself smaller. There are large amounts of gauze wrapped around of her wrists to match the wristband with her information on it. She looks as though she’s been crying for so long that her eyes are permanently bloodshot– that is– what you can barely make out of her eyes.

Another flash and they’re now in a different kind of hospital. She stands naked in front of a nurse who checks for any marks or signs of unhealthiness. She takes her vitals, weighs her, and tells her to put her clothes back on. She’s given a meal that’s already cold from the lapsed time as they’d made it for her in preparation of her arrival. They then show her to her room– the roommate she’s given is probably the scariest part so far. The other girl is quite territorial of her possessions but tries a little too hard to be Emma’s friend. Then as the flipping of a switch is yelling at her and complaining that she can’t sleep because Emma is crying too loudly. Emma is comforted by some of the staff who suggest she sleep in “the quiet room,” which turns out to be the isolation room. She lies on the stiff bed, curled up in a ball without a single blanket to keep her warm.

Throughout the week and a half she’s there, they give her more and more medication. This continues until she’s so drugged up she doesn’t even recognize herself in the mirror anymore. She sleeps most of the day because its better than being awake to deal with the roommate or the feeling of being imprisoned. Jude can’t help but feel as though she’s treated like some kind of science experiment. Its like she’s a number on a list to be checked off every half an hour they make sure she hasn’t done anything to herself.

The memory shifts again and she’s being taken home. Her mother hadn’t wanted her to come home yet, but her father had insisted that the doctor’s had said she was ready to come home. She’d even made it through her court date. Her mother complains to her father in the front seat the entire trip home as if Emma isn’t sitting in the backseat listening to every word.

A few months pass which Emma summarizes in memories of finding out that her father was having health issues. Even in her weakened state, she does her best to take care of him. But its clear he didn’t make it when images flashes of a body being rolled out of their home with a sheet over it. A voice from the paramedic speaking to her mother says it was a heart attack. “So sudden, he wasn’t in any pain.” Her mother makes the entire thing about herself. She clings to her other two children– but when Jude looks for Emma she practically sprints to her bedroom and crumples on her bed. At this point, he can see that she’s barely an adult– if that.

Another couple months of time pass, Emma looks even worse now. Its clear she’s lost weight and that sleep hasn’t been present for some time. She looks constantly tired and frightened– with good reason. If it were even possible her mother is worse than before. She seems to blame every problem the family has on the middle child– who is ironically caught in the midst of all of it.

The climax is a memory of Emma making herself a snack in the kitchen. Most likely its the first time she’s really eaten all day. She must have woken up her mother because she comes flying into focus and looks so angry her eyes seems to swell from their sockets. She yells at Emma for waking her up when she knows she has to work tomorrow. She almost seems hungover as Emma desperately mumbles apologies profusely. Her mother seems to grow only more disgusted by her daughter. She covers her mouth then– too bad she’d covered her nostrils too. Emma begins to panic, her sight going darker as she realizes she can’t breathe. In one last effort before she can fully pass out, she lightly puts a hand over her mother’s mouth. Her mother recoils just as her little sister enters the room and asks what’s going on.

It appears in an instant that the very next day Emma is locked up permanently in a low budget long term facility states away from where she’d been living. He sees a series of events that mark the days, weeks, months, and then years that her family goes without visiting her. It seems to all melt into one long horrible nightmare. The only thing that tells Jude that time is passing in gross amounts is the deterioration Emma goes through. She begins hopeful that if she gets well enough, they’ll bring her home and she can be better for them– for her mother.

By the time Bobby gets to her she seems genuinely surprised that anyone even knows she’s still there. The way she speaks and acts reminds Jude of that of a young child– too frightened and damaged to function in the regular world anymore. Her memories move a lot slower during this period, as if regular thought takes much more focus. The people around her look as zombies and the staff is split between “couldn’t care less” and nurturing.

The doctors who are supposed to be helping her get better are by far some of the most terrifying people Jude has ever encountered. He remembers Emma being sure at one point that the man prescribing her medications is the devil himself. At one point he begins their conversion with, “Hello Emma– do you like making deals? I like deals.”

The only comforting figure in her life at this point is Josh– who is also the only person before Bobby’s time that Jude himself recognizes. Emma is sure to show him how great Josh was to her, how a bond formed the way they had was damn near unbreakable.

She allows him to see the way she’d met Bobby. “The man in the suit.” Their first real interaction actually causes the first sign of life from Jude externally. She finishes out the memory with meeting Sam and Dean for the first time. She lets him hear just how reluctant Dean had been.

Finally, they jump to someone knocking on the door. Emma opens it, determined to be a viable member of the team– and there he stands. Outwardly, Jude makes a face as he takes in his own appearance. Its still strange to see himself from Emma’s perspective. The first thing that crosses her mind is that he’s probably an angel. “Definitely can’t be evil– please, I hope…”

Emma finally pulls her hands back from his. She drops her head and squeezes her eyes closed as if waiting for it all to sink in. She’s too scared to even look at him for fear of what his expression will be. She’s certain he won’t be here much longer. How could he? Her life was so far from anything anyone could possibly want in their own.

Jude finds that its entirely possible he’d stopped breathing somewhere halfway through it all. He opens his eyes if only to release the tears from behind his eyelids. He has to raise his now empty hand to run over his face– some small reminder that they’re here now– not then. His body gives an uneasy shake as he forces himself to inhale again.

He looks over at her trying his hardest not to collapse under the weight of all he’d just experienced. She looks at though he might reach over and give her a black eye with the grimace she wears. Of course, he’d been right. This changed nothing– not for him and certainly not for them as a unit. If anything it only made him love and appreciate her more. He’d always known she was strong. She was a fighter by nature but– this was completely different. She was more than that– she was a survivor.

He forces himself to not openly sob in front of her the way he feels he needs to. He’s overwhelmed by both her emotions and his own but he struggles to keep himself level. He keeps waiting for her to open her eyes but it doesn’t happen. He decides its the perfect opportunity to show her just how wrong she is.

His hands find the sides of her face and he leans close enough to just barely touch his lips to hers– just to let her know he’s still there. As he retreat just enough to look at her once more, he finds that strange possessive behavior rising within him again. He kisses her again with more force this time. He can’t think of a good reason why any of what he just witnessed should drive him away– but still her mind races. When he breaks away and sits back this time, he opens his eyes to see her now frozen before him.

‘Would you please look at me?’ He asks almost sadly in his mind, his expression reading expectant– but wary. He’s worried that maybe he’d pushed her too far– maybe she’d been right and it hadn’t been a good idea.

She finally, slowly opens her eyes– squinting at first as though she’s not sure he’s still there. She blinks a few times and casts her eyes down, the shame she wears almost tangible. “I’m sorry…” She apologizes slowly, because she feels guilty for just being herself. Going over the memories of her past seem to have reawakened the knowledge within her of just how undeserving she is of his love.

He brings his hands to her face again, bringing her eyes level with his even if she fights to keep them away. “And I’m not sure why…” He confesses softly.

Her first instinct is to rattle off all of the reasons she has to apologize. That’s when she realizes just how genuine his words are. He doesn’t hate her, he’s not ashamed of her, he’s not disappointed, and he certainly doesn’t judge her. Above all, she can still feel the love radiating from him– the love for her. She wants to be confused, to act dismissive– but its so genuine. She can’t deny something that she feels herself coming directly from him. He isn’t just trying to comfort her or make her feel less stupid– he sincerely can’t understand why she feels the need to apologize to him.

She shakes her head, unsure of what to even say. Oddly, the first thing that comes to her mind is to thank him– for a great number of things. She’s so thankful that he hasn’t given up on her, that he’s still here, that he loves her– even if she can’t always understand why. She hesitates, her mind already seeming to set a clock to time how long it takes him to wake up and realize that he’s had enough.

Jude, never one to be called a fool– even if he couldn’t read every fear she has rushing through her mind– is quick to halt her from spiraling. “Stop, okay?” Its more of an order than a question. His head falls back, closing his eyes as he reminds himself to focus. He takes a deep breath, trying to decide what he could possibly say to prove himself to her. As he comes back down to face her, he shakes his head slowly. “When are you gonna realize–”

“Its just hard, okay?” She mumbles quickly in defeat, cutting him off. “You’ve seen it now– you know now.” She shifts to wrap her arms around her middle protectively. She wants to be angry at him for not understanding even after seeing it all firsthand. But then, she just feels embarrassed that she can’t do what he wants her to.

It isn’t until she speaks again that he considers that this has been beaten into her for so long she doesn’t even know how to operate differently. He just nods as he starts to wrap his mind around the idea that for the majority of her life– others had made her feel not only inadequate but also unworthy.

Since the age of five, he’d always thought he’d had it pretty rough. Emma still hasn’t even seen his own memories of childhood. He finds that he doesn’t even want to burden her with them now. While her upbringing had been largely different than his, they both shared in having a dark past. Still, despite his own, hers seems so much worse somehow.

Seeing as he’s never shy about knowing the processes firing through her mind– she feels it almost necessary that she read him now. She needs to know what he’s thinking of all of this– what he really feels. Emma had long since learned to expect very little from anyone interested in her romantically. They always seem to fall short and wind up letting her down. However, as she sits here trying to gauge where he is in the mess she’d thrust upon him– she’s surprised. Maybe by now she should know that he’s different. Maybe she should already know that Jude isn’t like those before him, and yet he baffles her.

He seems to manage it all with such ease as he works to understand her. There are no underlying emotions he tries to hide– no resentment. There are no ulterior motives or false fronts that he attempts to erect. He’s so ready and willing to let it be just what is. He has no intentions of forcing her to see things his way or to make her into anything she’s not. He just wants her to know how much he loves her; that nothing will ever change that.

Her eyes fall away again as her cheeks start to burn. They’d been friends for years and yet he still found ways to catch her off guard in only the best ways. She’s reminded of something a friend had said to her. That even if their future was etched in stone there were still going to be things she couldn’t anticipate. A smile catches at the corner of her lips. She’s too shy to even look at him but knows he can feel the emotions that flood her system.

He can feel her in his mind, seemingly looking for some kind of proof. Though of what, he isn’t sure. He doesn’t nothing to inhibit her from reading him. He continues thinking as he normally would. When she looks away, the same quiet smile playing across her lips he’d become so enamored with– he matches it with one of his own. There’s a deeper understanding that’s begun to form. As her emotions wash over him, he sends back his own which seem to fit hers as pieces of an intricate puzzle.

Nothing else is said aloud between them in this moment as he reaches to take her hands back into his own. They just sit facing each other, any tension from before having dissipated into nothing. He brings one of her hands up to his lips just so he can press them against it firmly before letting it fall back slowly.

‘I love you.’ His mind tells her again. He finds that it happens more and more often every day– seemingly every time he looks at her now.

This only elicits a small huff of air from her akin to silent laughter. She’s fairly certain that she’s turned bright red as her mind comes to life at the idea.

He only grins at her in response. ‘You don’t have to say it back…’

Her eye rise to his, as if stunned by the thought. It isn’t abnormal to communicate purely through telepathy for them but its become more common as of late.

‘But I do…’ She finally replies quietly.

#indie drabble #supernatural drabble #supernatural rp #spn drabble #spn rp #muse: emma #muse: judah #drabbles: emma #drabbles: judah #relationship: could this be out of line; to say youre the only one #series: so this is where the story ends; or have we just begun #i cant even call this a starter #verse: supernatural

0 notes