#crazy ex-girlfriend review

[james-stark-the-writer]

feel like pure shit, just want her back

[allstarwmb]

[musicalthought]

album review; miranda lambert's crazy ex-girlfriend (2007)

♡ fav song: down

♡ least fave song: easy from now on

♡ overall: 8/10

♡ aren’t you tired of being nice? don’t you wanna go apeshit?

[imfinereallyy]

Passengers

It took Robin three years to get her license. Which all things considered, the twice apocalyptic experiences, and, ya know, being poor, wasn’t too bad in her opinion.

20 was as good as any age to get behind the wheel of a vehicle.

Okay, if she was honest with herself, really honest, maybe her calculations were off. It wasn’t three years exactly. She could have gotten her license at 16; hell, she could have gotten her permit at 15. So it quite honestly had taken four, five years max to get her license.

But the first two years didn’t count to Robin.

She didn’t even give a thought to driving until she was 17, and Steve was driving her every day without question. She hadn’t thought about it until Steve threw his keys at her, telling her to drive, that Robin realized he was driving her every day because he wanted to, not because she was a license-less loser.

It cracked Robin open when she finally had time to think about it. After all the blood, and gore, and almost losing Steve several times, it hit her that this dingus really wanted her by his side.

So, Steve was really to blame if she ever got into a car accident. Sure, he didn’t push her to get behind the metal contraption, but Robin wanted to pay him back somehow, for all the rides and love over the years.

That was how now, Robin was seething in regret as she drove the rest of the way home, in the dark, from their road trip.

See, when Robin had pictured them doing things like this, it had just been the two of them. Steve in the passenger seat, arguing over music and the best car snacks. Windows down, yelling about who fucking cares, and just laughing their way through different states.

Robin hadn’t taken into account there might be other people involved in her bestie road trip fantasies. No, instead, it wasn’t the terrible two, platonic soulmate extravaganza she pictured. Instead it now involved them, Steve’s ex-turned-best friend, whom Robin had a horrible crush on, Nancy Wheeler, and a sweet metalhead who Robin saw as a brother, and Steve had a huge soul-consuming crush on Eddie Munson.

Robin begrudgingly would admit the additional two had made the trip better, so she didn’t have too many complaints. Actually, in reality, Robin only had one big hang-up about the whole thing.

Steve was in the back seat.

Which would have been fine if Robin had been there too, but she wasn’t. It was her stupid turn to drive in the home stretch of their way home. Instead, Robin had Nancy beside her. Which should have brought her joy but instead made her nervous and clammy and not at all suited to be behind the wheel of the death contraption they called a car. Plus, Nancy was asleep.

Her snores were pretty cute though.

Robin seethed silently; it was Eddie’s fault. He positively insisted on sitting with Steve in the back. Something which Robin would normally tease the both of them for, the oblivious idiots that they were, but Robin was a possessive little creature. It was a trait of hers she tried to bury deep down. She knew people didn’t like that; they didn’t like when people clung. Didn’t like that she felt like baring her teeth, even sometimes wanted to actually bite at people who tried to pry her people away from her.

It was funny, really; the only person who understood that part of her was Steve himself, which made her possessive side come out even more. Like seeks like, and crazy seeks crazy.

God, if she was every lucky enough to get a girlfriend, she was screwed.

Robin had resisted looking in the review mirror for twenty minutes. Probably not safe, but driving angrily wasn’t either, and if she saw the two of them giggling like school girls, she was gonna flip the car.

But Robin was never good at resisting temptation. She was most definitely the child who would touch the plate after someone told her it was too hot. So Robin took a glance, shoulders tense and mouth dry, and saw—

Well, shit. Robin melted. There in the back seat with their heads leaned against each other were Steve and Eddie, sound asleep.

The edges of Robin softened; she remembered Steve pinching his nose earlier, eyes squinting on his turn to drive. She had been in the passenger seat then. She had wanted to ask but instead said nothing, knowing he would wave her off. So she claimed her turn to drive, and then Eddie had been insistent that Steve come in the back with him and—

Robin was getting it now. Although Eddie had a big fat gay crush on Steve. That wasn’t why he wanted to be with Steve in the back. He had noticed, too. The edges of sleep deprivation creeping slowly into an oncoming migraine for Steve. Eddie had seen Steve pushing himself, and somehow also knew that if Steve stayed in the front, he would feel obligated to stay awake.

Robin hadn’t realized that, Eddie didn’t just want Steve; he paid attention to him. Eddie noticed Steve the way Robin noticed him.

Robin spared another glance at the two of them, wrapped around each other like vines snaking up an old oak tree. The last of her anger seemed to fade away. Even after all this time, none of them got a lot of sleep. Steve, most of all, seemed to run on fumes. Robin knew he couldn’t sleep soundly alone, but also couldn’t fall asleep around just anyone. For a long time, Robin had been his only cure for his insomnia. Steve never dared to fall asleep in front of strangers, afraid he’d scare them with his screams.

But here Steve was, in the arms of the man that he loves, not a single worry line on his face as he slept the rest of the trip away.

Robin knew, with certainty, Steve felt safe.

And because of that, Robin thought wistfully to herself, if Eddie Munson ever wants a turn at being a passenger, she wouldn’t mind taking the wheel for him, too.

***

a short lil thing to get me back in my writing grove. Is inspired by a friend of mine who is in her 20s and doesn’t drive. It’s totally okay and everyone moves at their own pace! And also I’m definitely a person who likes to drive others around as a sign of love (I am Steve coded I am beginning to realize)

Sorry if this isn’t any good, or seems rushed. Writers block is a bitch.

[the-scarlet-witch-22]

Love and Liabilities (Agatha Harkness x FemReader): Chapter One

Summary: While you attend a pretrial conference for your current case, you’re stunned to learn your opposing council is your former ex…and law school professor, Agatha Harkness

Word Count: 4.7k

Tags: 18+ Minors Do Not Engage!! Smut, Light Choking, Light Degradation Kink, Mommy Kink, Hate Sex

A/N: Hi :) This idea has been bouncing around my brain since the promo pics came out. Lawyer Agatha, the gift we all need for the new year. This is my first real attempt at writing smut, but I hope y’all enjoy. Updates will be around every 2 weeks. If you’d like to be added to a tag list, please let me know. Feel free to let me know what you think! 💜 Also a special shout-out to my sweet girlfriend, Sarah, thank you for always listening to my crazy ideas.

Smoothing out a wrinkle from your pantsuit, you looked over your case materials from outside the courtroom. It had been almost a decade since you graduated law school, and you’d spent the time since working in corporate law as a junior attorney, before leaving the firm and working your way up as a top prosecutor. To say you were married to your job would be an understatement. It wasn’t enough to be good, you simply had to be the best. You’d always pride yourself on your ability to dig deep in a case and pull out missing details, or find a crack in a seemingly perfect alibi. You were ruthless, but you knew you had to be. The defense attorneys you found yourself battling in court were absolute sharks, and if they sensed an ounce of hesitation on your end it would be a total bloodbath.

Dealing with criminal defense cases was as interesting as it sounded, although it wasn’t what you envisioned you’d be doing after law school. You had different dreams back then, more altruistic visions of helping those who needed it. Closing your eyes, you saw a brief flash of the strikingly blue eyes and dark hair that caused you to change your choice of career, before you quickly shook those thoughts aside. It had been almost ten years since you’d allowed yourself to think about her- about any of it, and it wouldn’t benefit you to take a stroll down memory lane before the biggest case of your career.

A law clerk eventually came by to inform you the judge was ready for you. This was it. Gathering your materials, you walked through the details again in your mind. Pre-trial conferences were relatively helpful when trying to reach a plea bargain, review evidence, as well as decide what to present to the jury. There was no doubt in your mind that this case would go to trial. After all, a woman who kidnaps two children and takes them to a small town in New Jersey didn’t leave much to plead innocent from. What was the name of it, Westchester? Westmont? No, no, you mentally crossed those out, until the name finally came to mind…Westview. Westview, New Jersey.

The room was relatively empty, and you recognized the judge, Carol Danvers. She had a reputation for being rather uptight, but was typically fair in her rulings. She’d moved up through various circuit courts throughout her career, and you’d heard rumblings she was being eyed for a potential Supreme Court nomination. Setting your briefcase on the empty chair next to you, you thought of any possible hiccups from the defense. Supposedly a brief psych evaluation had been done after the incident to rule anything out, so they wouldn’t try and plead insanity, right? You couldn’t see Carol ruling in favor of that. There was the small problem of genetics; the woman was the boys’ birth mother. But, you’d looked over the adoption contracts, as had your colleagues, and they were airtight. It had been a closed adoption, and from what you could tell there had been no contact for over a decade. Plus, with solid testimonies from both families and multiple eyewitnesses you weren’t worried of whatever argument the defense would make in her favor.

Speaking of the defense, you quickly realized the defense attorney hadn’t arrived yet, which was a bit unusual. Racking your brain, you tried to remember the name of the attorney Yelena said was leading the case, but no one came to mind. Pepper Potts perhaps? Carol also appeared to notice the lack of the second attorney, as she whispered with one of the law clerks. You could barely make out what they were saying, but she sounded annoyed. But, no matter, you knew this had absolutely no impact on you.

Carol finally sighed in defeat at whatever the law clerk told her, something about hitting a fire hydrant? “Well, as we’re waiting on the defense to resolve their…tardiness, will the prosecution step forward?”

Standing up, you grabbed a copy of your materials, evidence, testimonies, anything the judge would need, before taking a step towards the judge. “Your honor, the state of New York is ready to move forward with our case. You’ll find sufficient evidence to dismiss any plea deal, as well as ensure we can schedule a trial date.”

Handing the papers to the judge, you watched as she flipped through them, an unreadable expression on her face. Minutes passed before she looked up at you. “The prosecution is dismissing the plea deal being proposed by the defense?”

Nodding, you recalled the deal that had been sent over to your office. It was preposterous, and was heavily dependent on the mental state of the defendant, or rather the lack of mental state of the defendant. “Yes, your honor. The state has inculpatory evidence to convict the defendant, as well as a number of witnesses willing to testify.”

A voice you’d only heard in your dreams for the past decade spoke up, and you nearly froze in place. “Inculpatory evidence? That’s a rather bold claim, I’d call it circumstantial at best.”

It couldn’t be. Paralyzed, you forced yourself to ignore it, to ignore her and keep your eyes locked forward. It couldn’t possibly be her, you would have remembered hearing her name as the defense attorney. Clearing your throat, you continued, trying to keep yourself calm. “With all due respect, your honor, the typical procedure for a case involving the abduction of a minor is what we’re basing this precedent on-”

An obnoxiously loud cackle cut you off, and nearly made you whip your head around in annoyance. The slow clacking of heels echoed throughout the room, followed by the faint scent of Burberry that invaded your senses. Brief flashes of lecture halls and late night office hour visits intertwined with the smell of cigars and expensive whiskey. Lengthy, heated arguments over the moral justification of various Supreme Court rulings whilst being undressed and pressed against the door. Diamond jewelry and lavish bouquets being delivered to your modest law school apartment as you sheepishly explained to your roommates you were seeing an older woman. Secret rendezvous in dimly lit piano bars in Manhattan which would end in a king size bed in a penthouse you could never dream of affording.

It all led back to the same thought, the same woman you’d done your best to let go of. The very same woman you currently found yourself standing face to face with. Agatha Harkness. Clever blue eyes met yours, and a slow smirk painted her perfect red lips. She hadn’t changed much over the past decade. Her dark hair, now peppered with some gray, was pinned back with a few loose strands framing her face, and you briefly thought of how well it suited her. The fitted black pantsuit which accentuated her features, and black heels that made her look deceptively tall as she towered over you.

For a moment it was as if no time had passed at all, and you were back in her lecture hall. But as quickly as that oddly nostalgic feeling overcame you like a tidal wave, it swept away, leaving you with the reality of the situation. Clearing your throat, you looked past Agatha, keeping your focus on Judge Danvers. “As I was saying. While looking at prior cases involving the abduction of a minor we were able to set a precedent that-”

Agatha let out another cackle, and it took everything in you to not roll your eyes. However it appeared Carol was at the end of her rope with patience, as she banged her gavel twice. “Does the defense have something they wish to share with the rest of us?”

“Your honor,” Agatha drawled out, her voice sweet like honey, “The prosecution is making bold assumptions on precedents that do not directly follow the evidence of this particular case. To rule anything otherwise would be direct defamation to my client.”

“Defamation?” You all but hissed, momentarily forgetting you were in the middle of a courtroom. The answering smirk Agatha gave you only fuelled your fire. “Your honor, the defense is all but negating the direct evidence of the defendant’s guilt. We would like to proceed to trial while throwing out the plea deal.”

Agatha’s shark tooth grin widened, and you had a sneaking suspicion she was baiting you to get a reaction. Typical, as she always prided herself on being ten steps ahead of her opponent. Taking a deep breath, you regained your calm composure. It would do you no good to allow your emotions to take over. That would merely ensure Agatha to have one more victory over you, one more thing she would take away from you. But things were different this time, you weren’t some feeble, naive law student fawning over her professor. The playing field was finally leveled, and it was about time she realized that.

Unfortunately, you forgot Agatha never played fair. You curiously watched her grab two folders from her briefcase, all but tossing one at you whilst handing Carol the other. “While we’re discussing the plea deal your honor, I’ve included additional information regarding my client’s psychiatric evaluation.”

Practically tearing the folder open, your eyes scanned the lengthy documents before landing on something that nearly made you fall over. Before you could get a word in, Agatha continued on. “Due to our country’s ever failing healthcare and medical practices, my client has been unable to receive a proper psychiatric evaluation. Your honor, I am requesting a continuance to this trial until my client can get the help she needs.”

Carol’s focus remained on the papers, an inscrutable expression coloring her features. “I’m granting a one month continuance for the defendant, Wanda Maximoff, to be given a psychiatric evaluation. As long as Miss Maximoff follows the terms of her probation and doesn’t leave the state of New York, we’ll resume this conference one month from today. Thank you to the prosecution and defense, you’re dismissed.”

Not wanting to see the smug smirk on Agatha’s face, you packed up your materials, including the folder Agatha gave you, and did your best to hurry out of the courtroom. It was foolish to think you’d beat Agatha at the game she taught you to play. That’s what it always was to Agatha, a game. It was like everyone around her was playing checkers while she was constructing the most elaborate game of chess known to man. All while she moved you around as whatever piece she desired; because that’s how she viewed you, as an object she could twist and mold to her liking until you outlived your usefulness.

Ignoring the familiar sound of her heels approaching, you drafted a quick email to one of your colleagues with the news of the trial being halted before going to order your Uber. You didn’t have to look up to know Agatha was standing in front of you, because that was just part of her intricate plan. She surely knew you were furious, because of course she did. Hadn’t she once told you she knew everything? At the time you thought it was a cheeky remark to make you laugh, but looking back you came to terms with the fact that the only person Agatha Harkness could ever care for was herself.

You were growing weary of the rising tension, so you finally broke the silence, keeping your eyes locked on your phone. “Can I help you with something?”

“I’m not sure,” Agatha replied, and although you weren’t looking at her you could practically feel her gaze burning into you. “I never took you for a sore loser, dear.”

There it was, she was trying to get her claws back in you. Keeping your tone even, you checked on the status of your Uber. “I’m not sure I know what you’re referring to. I’m just doing my job.”

Before you could comprehend what was happening, your phone was ripped from your hands. “Hey!” You exclaimed, angrily whipping your head up and your eyes narrowed, meeting the deep blue eyes you used to get lost in. “Give me back my phone.”

“Checking for your ride?” Agatha mocked, arching an eyebrow up at you. “Is that more interesting than talking to me?”

“Watching paint dry would be more interesting than speaking with you,” You retorted, your discomfort quickly growing.

“Now darling, is that any way to speak to me?” Agatha teased, her voice gradually dropping in volume. “It’s been so long.”

Glaring at her, you tried to pry your phone from her hands, but she put it in her back pocket. “And whose fault is that again?” Your voice was laced with venom, you subconsciously wanted to make her feel as badly as you had. “Should we take a stroll down memory lane and recall what caused this?”

Agatha’s gaze hardened at that jab, and you momentarily wondered if you pushed too hard. “I’m surprised you’re leading this case. I thought you wanted to,” she paused and used air quotes, “‘help the voiceless’, not strangle them.”

“How dare you,” You seethed, not caring that your voice was growing in volume. “I’m just doing my job, Agatha. Besides, isn’t strangling the helpless what you do best?”

Agatha tilted her head back, and let out another cackle. “Doing your job? You’re trying to imprison an innocent mother.”

“Your innocent mother kidnapped two minors and took them over state lines,” You fired back, vaguely aware that Agatha was taking small, slow steps towards you.

“She’s still their mother,” Agatha pointed out and you felt your face grow red from rage.

“Regardless of DNA, it was a closed adoption. She waived her parental rights,” You argued, unaware of anything but the infuriating woman standing in front of you. “Surely you’ve been practicing long enough to know how to read a contract.”

“And I thought I taught you to read between the lines of said contracts,” Agatha countered, and you knew she was testing your argument, it’s what she always did. “Things aren’t always black and white, dear.”

No they weren’t, you silently agreed. By this point your back was to the wall of the deserted corridor, Agatha still towering over you. Your faces were practically touching, and you could practically taste her lips. Both of you were panting from the exertion of bickering, and it wouldn’t take much to close the distance. She was so close, closer than she had been to you in so long. Having her back in your orbit, taking over all of your senses, made you forget the reasons you were so angry with her. Instead, it made you remember how many other times you had found yourself in this exact same position.

You could feel your ironclad restraint begin to slip away, and Agatha appeared to notice it as well. She let out a low chuckle as she turned her face to the side, her breath now hot against your ear, and allowing her to whisper, “Looks like it still doesn’t take much to get you riled up, does it?”

Shuddering, you struggled to get your breathing even, thinking of the many reasons why this was a horrible idea. Your history aside, you were on opposing sides of what would most likely be a very public case. It wasn’t just unprofessional to be doing this, it could potentially jeopardize your whole career. But it was hard to think about any of that when you locked eyes with the woman you had spent so much time trying to forget. Her right hand left your waist to push back the loose strands of your hair, tucking them behind your ear.

Each movement was slow, and delicate, and as her fingers slowly trailed down your neck, she gently squeezed, before gradually applying more pressure, and you had to physically restrain yourself from moaning. You could feel the heat pooling between your legs and had to close your eyes from the overwhelming sensation. Agatha’s lips moved to your neck, pressing hot, open kisses on your flesh while her fingers began to move lower, cupping your left breast before slowly pinching your nipple. This time you couldn’t stop the quiet moan that left your lips, and Agatha quickly used her free hand to silence you, covering your mouth.

“You always had a problem being quiet,” Agatha murmured, lips still on your skin. “Let’s find somewhere more…secluded to continue this, hm?”

Feeling yourself nod, you opened your eyes and let out a pathetic whine as she let go of you. It didn’t take long to find an empty storage closet, and Agatha practically shoved you inside before slamming the door behind her.

Pressing you against the bare wall, her eyes scanned yours before asking, “Are you sure?”

Being with Agatha like this was the greatest euphoric high, and it always left you wanting more and more. It didn’t have to mean anything, and you certainly didn’t want it to. It was just two people working out their frustrations, right? You nodded again, grabbing her right hand and placing it back around your throat. “Are you going to choke me again or are you too much of a coward?”

She nearly growled at that, and squeezed, a little rougher this time. You pressed your face into her shoulder, trying to silence the noises you always made when she touched you. She had barely started but it was so good, and you didn’t hesitate when she used her free hand to try and remove your blazer. Taking a step back to take off your blouse and bra, you nearly tripped over some boxes, and her hands steadied you.

“Careful,” She lightly teased, eyes still dark from arousal. “I’m not nearly finished with you.”

Her hands skillfully unhooked your bra, carelessly tossing it to the side, before lowering her mouth to your breast, and lewdly sucked. As if she anticipated the noises you’d inevitably make, she roughly pressed two fingers in your open mouth for you to suck. Moaning around them, you eagerly sucked and sucked, thinking of where you wanted her fingers to go next. Agatha’s tongue swirled around your nipple, teasing it enough to make it go erect before using her teeth to pull. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head, your last functioning brain cells wondering how she could still have this strong of an effect on you.

She let out a low hum, clearly enjoying this as much as you were before moving to your other breast, only this time she bit down, and the rush of pain and pleasure flooded you. Unable to cry out as she fucked her fingers further down your throat before adding a third, causing you to gag around them. Releasing your breast, Agatha panted out, “Look at how pathetic you are, sucking on my fingers like a good little slut. What a good girl.”

Whimpering around her fingers, you clenched at the filth spewing from her lips. You hated this, how easily she could flip the switch and have you dripping and wanting her to fuck you through the floorboards. Agatha cooed, using her free hand to gently stroke your face, and roughly pulled her fingers out of your mouth. She was face level again, and you watched the gears turn in her head as she weighed out what to do with you. That same free hand cupped your jaw, and she was so close, your brain buzzing from the endorphins. It was so good, you hated how good it was.

Her normally perfectly red lips were stained and parted slightly as she looked at you with an indecipherable stare, and you were still breathless from her earlier ministrations. Before you could fully comprehend what you were doing, you grabbed her hair and smashed your lips together. You swore you heard her groan, but it was gone as quickly as it came, and you had no time to contemplate it as you felt her tongue teasing the entrance of your mouth. It has been so long, so very long, but you fell back into the familiar dance you could never forget.

Everything Agatha did she dominated, for she had such a strong presence that was impossible to ignore. Just kissing her was enough to get you off, as her tongue expertly swirled around yours, sending you further and further from the edge of reality. You were so far gone you barely noticed her hands moving lower, and lower, until they were pawing at your ass. Groping and grabbing, she was insatiable as she conquered your mouth. You broke apart for merely a second and without speaking, you helped get rid of your pants, slightly stunned you were still this in sync after all this time.

But again, you had no time to ponder that thought as Agatha quickly slammed you against the wall, and you couldn’t help but moan at the pain. The same fingers you eagerly sucked on were now teasing your entrance, rubbing gentle, slow circles. Agatha’s breath was hot in your ear, and you whined, trying to thrust your hips up for more friction. You needed more, you needed her more than ever before. Going without for so long was fine, you’d nearly forgotten what it felt like, what she felt like; but the second you remembered you couldn’t bear a second without it.

“Someone’s awfully worked up,” Agatha taunted, her voice softly whispering in your ear. “Did you want something?”

“Agatha…” You breathed out, your voice nearly cracking. “Please…”

Her fingers teased your clit, and the sensation made you cry out, causing Agatha to silence you with yet another kiss. “Behave,” she murmured against your lips, “Do you want me inside you? Do you want me to fill that sweet little cunt?”

Mewling, you again tried to tilt your hips up, desperate to feel her inside you, but her other hand kept you in place. “Agatha, please, I…I need it, please fuck me.”

Agatha arched an eyebrow, “I know your brain just melts when that pussy gets wet, but we both know that’s not what you want to call me, is it?” Blushing, you tried to avert your eyes but it was impossible. She nipped at your lips before continuing. “Be a good girl and beg for it.”

“Mommy,” The words slipped past your lips and you felt another rush of heat between your legs while Agatha moaned.

“Good girl,” Agatha praised you, and before you could prepare yourself she roughly entered you with two fingers, filling you completely.

Her fingers were so long and so good, hitting the spots you had trouble reaching. You couldn’t help but clench around them, and she groaned in your ear. Wasting no time, she set a fast and hard rhythm, skillfully fucking you better than anyone else since her had been able to.

“I almost forgot how good your cunt feels around my fingers,” Agatha hissed, nibbling on your ear, “Suck me in, slut.”

Your hips met her fingers, and you desperately chased your orgasm. “Harder, please mommy fuck me harder.”

Putting all of her weight on you, Agatha swiftly added a third finger and you nearly squealed at how full you felt. Her fingers were so deep, and you were so close, so very close to the edge.

“Such a good whore for mommy,” Agatha cooed, and her voice was strained, you could tell she was close too. “Do you want to come on my fingers?”

“Mommy please,” You cried out, unable to focus on anything but wanting to feel her fingers make you come harder than you could ever remember.

Agatha’s hips rested against your knee, and she began riding your leg, chasing her own high. “Come for mommy, baby. Soak my fingers.”

Twisting her fingers and hitting your G-spot again, and again causing you to quickly unravel. Feeling your orgasm coming, you clenched around her fingers, needing her to stay inside you. Your knees buckled and you swore you saw stars, unable to speak as you silently cried out. Agatha came right as you did, grunting in your ear and roughly thrusting against your leg as she came undone.

“Fuck,” She panted, keeping her fingers inside you as you continued to twitched around them. “Good girl, such a good girl for mommy.”

Breathing heavily, you gradually felt yourself come back to Earth. You were drenched with sweat, and you were sure you looked positively debauched. Agatha was staring at you with yet another inscrutable expression on her face, and you felt yourself relaxing around her fingers as she slowly pulled out. You grabbed her hand, and lewdly cleaned her fingers off, watching her eyes darken once more as you made a point to swirl your tongue around them until they were clean.

As your brain fog cleared, you were all too aware of the uncomfortable silence growing around you. With every high that came with being with Agatha, it was almost always followed by an indescribable low. There were so many things you wanted to ask her, so many things you needed to know. Brief flashes of arguments and slamming doors. Dozens of unanswered calls, and late nights spent wondering what you had done wrong to deserve her random outbursts of anger. But with every argument, every heated fight, it would always end the same way; with Agatha pressing you against some surface and having her way with you.

There had been so much more going on at that point than you were aware of, and as the pieces slowly came together, she was too far gone for you to be able to help. You’d begged and pleaded with her, but it never mattered. What was it your therapist had said to you? You couldn’t help someone who didn’t want to help themselves. Letting go of her nearly killed you, and now you made the mistake of opening that door again, knowing how much more complicated it would be. You weren’t just her law student anymore, you were on opposing sides of a trial.

It appeared Agatha was having the same train of thought as you, for she wordlessly helped you find your clothes. In spite of her just being inside you, you made a point of turning around as you got dressed, as the air in the room seemed to drop and any of the warmth that had been there prior had disappeared. There was so much you wanted to say, yet simultaneously wanted to get as far away from her as you could.

Agatha finally broke the silence as she fixed her hair, and she was back to her usual condescending self. “You know you’re wrong pursuing this case, right? It’s not too late to back out.”

Rolling your eyes, you finally grabbed your phone from her back pocket and saw your Uber driver understandably canceled your ride. That would certainly tank your rating. You quickly ordered another before replying with, “You know this meant absolutely nothing to me, right?”

Pushing past her to exit the room, she let out another cackle, the sound like grating nails on a chalkboard in your ears. You knew she wouldn’t follow you, and you were thankful for that. This was an indiscretion, a momentary lapse of judgment. You’ve been on edge with all the extra hours you’ve been working; you weren’t thinking clearly. The courthouse was still relatively empty, and you left the building, trying to get the thought of Agatha out of your mind. Why did she have to be so infuriating?

Your Uber eventually rolled up and as you got in you went to check your work email. It never failed to amaze you how quickly your inbox would fill up when you didn’t check it for more than five minutes. Scrolling through, you vaguely listened to the music your driver had in in the background, until a familiar song started playing. Frank Sinatra, a favorite artist of a certain attorney. The Way You Look Tonight had always been one of her favorites, and you could remember the last time you listened to it together.

Your mind absentmindedly drifted, the memories you’d tried to lock away slowly creeping back up to the surface. It seemed no matter how hard you tried to forget, she didn’t want you to. Settling into your seat, listening to Frank Sinatra, you thought back to the first time you met Agatha, or rather, how you met Professor Harkness.

[drdemonprince]

pls tell me your opinion/review on cw network television show crazy ex-girlfriend!

The early seasons were incredible at eviscerating shitty romantic norms, shoddy mental health discourse, and contemporary cultural phenomena in equal measure with addictively hook-y songs and cute set pieces. As it went on, the plots eventually got a bit hackneyed and the songs less inspired (the classic "second album curse" kinda struck), and I don't love the show's stances on anti-depressants, diagnosis, or therapy. But I think on balance the show had a kernel of mad pride too it, even if it didn't really understand the political implications of what it initially was and then could have been doing.

I LOVE Paula's arc as a deconstruction as the "fat wacky supportive best friend" trope that actually allowed for her to have both emotional depth and real human FLAWS. Her ambivalence about her children and marriage and how that resolves was so moving to me. The show depicted the many shades of emotional manipulation (between mother and daughter, within romantic partnerships, and even amongst codependent friends) beautifully and with humor. Almost every character has the chance to be more than the stock cliques they are initially positioned to represent, and some of the turns their stories take are genuinely surprising and satisfying (Valencia!! Greg!!), though this did peter out a bit by the final season.

I still cannot believe that after writing JAP Battle Rap that Rachel Bloom is a fucking Zionist!!! The line "We're liberals, duh, progressive as hell/ though of course I support Israel" wasn't ironic???? What the fcukk??

[shmreduplication]

Live theater is actually not that expensive as a hobby in terms of hours of enjoyment per dollar because sure, the show is 2.5 hours but then you get to go home and look up reviews and analysis and fanart and borrow the soundtrack from the library and listen to the soundtrack and read the lyrics and read the analysis of the lyrics on lyricsgenius and listen to the soundtrack while reading the lyrics and listen to the soundtrack but only the songs from one character and then only the songs from another character and listen to the soundtrack in reverse order so you can really catch when the motifs repeat at critical moments and listen to the songs individually by other famous Broadway stars and read the Wikipedia page and the Wikipedia pages of the writer and composer and lyricist and relisten to the soundtracks of other shows by those people and the shows that inspired them and the shows inspired by them and look up pictures of the casts from different revivals and performances by those casts at the Thanksgiving Day parade and the Tonys and watch movies that prominently showcase some of the songs and read interviews with the creative team and look up parodies/covers of the songs on YouTube by shows like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Shmigadoon and Galavant and Glee and look up video compilations of the actors in their tv roles that make reference to their work on stage and look up professionally filmed and bootleg versions and think about it and think about it and think about it and think about it and think about it and think about it and think about it and think about it

[kabillieu]

I'm rewatching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and while this isn't even in the top ten musical numbers imo, it is an excellent example of how hilariously weird the writers and actors would regularly get. It must have been a really fun show to work on.

This TV series is also not as old as I thought it was. The last four years have really warped how I perceive everything, including pop culture, and there's a distinct Obama-era ethos to show, although I can't explain what I mean by that, except there's a lightness and frothiness to this series that I feel like doesn't exist in TV anymore.

It's still a wonderful show. It does such clever things with characterization and writing, and it deeply humanizes those who struggle with mental illness. Plus, it's just really fun. Welcome to my review of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, a show that ran from 2015-2018 lol.

[ecargmura]

Blue Lock Episode 35 Review - Going With The Flow

The concept of Flow reminds me a lot of the Zone in Kuroko no Basket. The only difference is that anyone in Blue Lock can trigger it unlike the Zone being mainly Generation of Miracles and Kagami exclusive. I think this makes it fairer because who activates it is very unpredictable and when it happens, it’s the craziest thing ever.

It was surprising that the first person to go into the flow was Shidou, who’s a member of  Blue Lock, but is playing for the opponents. It’s a win-win for Ego, honestly. Even if Blue Lock were to lose the match, they have a future elsewhere, but Isagi is not about that. Shidou’s Flow state is pretty crazy as it symbolizes fertilization as there are egg and sperm cells. He wants to leave his mark in the soccer world and this is one of his ways. It makes him a terrifyingly formidable foe if he ever returns to Blue Lock. Also, there are a lot of horny undertones when it comes to him and Sae as if he developed feelings for him… They do have an interesting dynamic with Shidou being a demon and Sae being his tamer.

The next person to go into flow is Yukimiya. I feel like he’s underutilized so it was nice to see what sort of player he is and what triggers him to get into the flow. It’s a lot different from Shidou’s bombastic goal. I like that in a way. Everyone is different, so their flow has to be different.

The third person to go into the flow is Aiku who goes into the state to stop Yukimiya’s goal. It was a surprise, though! This makes him the second person in the U-20 to go into the state. I wonder who will be next. Will it be Isagi? Rin? Sae?

Other than that, Barou is finally in the game! It’s great but also a bit worrying since Barou is NOT a team player at all. Fortunately, Ego knows how to work that out by making him essentially an ‘Isagi-hunter’ in that all balls going to Isagi would be his for the taking. Though, it sucks that he was about to score a goal, but it hit the edge of the goal. So close!

The additional time was hilarious! It’s crazy how it’s actually the U-20’s first time starring in them! The way they tried to dig into Sae’s bag and then noticed a smaller bag next to his and came to the conclusion that Sae could be a crossdresser was hilarious. Like, the thought of Sae having a girlfriend never crossed their minds, so being a crossdresser was their next bet. Super silly. The smaller bag turned out to be Aiku’s ex-girlfriend’s, so Sendou and Nioh attack him out of jealousy while Neru asks what an overnight bag is. Darai is the only calm person in the bunch.

Yeah, this episode is mainly about the flow, which characters trigger it and how it’s triggered. Because of that, I think that there isn’t too much to talk about other than this for this episode. I’ll end my review here. What are your thoughts on this episode?

[thats-the-teen-spirit]

Top 20 songs of 2024 reviewed by yours truly

As a yearly tradition I review my most liked songs when Spotify Wrapped comes out. Since this year was full of bangers, I extend the list to 20 instead of 10. Rules:

One song per artist

Can only include song when the song itself came out this year (album doesn't count)

Enjoy and thanks if you read it through.

20. Windwaker - Tabula Rasa

This song took me by surprise and I have not nearly listened to this band enough. This song basically was unskippable for me the later half of the year with the rapping, the electro beats, the super catchy chorus or the high variety of screams. Also the song's title is an item name in my favorite game of all time helped a lot to keep this one in memory. Start this list with a clean slate.

19. Bad Omens X Poppy - V. A. N.

Violence Against Nature is a really unique song in a sense that even though the Bad Omens are playing the super industrial metalcore instrumentals, the vocals are provided none other than Poppy herself only. Some people would find the monotonous vocals really unsettling and boring, I think they are very charming in a weird way. The machine gun-like drums are just the cherry on top.

18. Nothing More - House on Sand (feat. Eric V of I Prevail)

This was also a song that I got addicted to in the latter half of the year. The guitars are very modern sounding and the verses kinda remind me of a Beastie Boys/RHCP kinda groove, I don't know why. It's a strange mixture that somehow works.

17. Green Day - Suzie Chapstick

Probably my favorite love song from this year that gives me strange warmth, especially 'cause I remember it coming out during wintertime and I always listened to it on the warm bus on the way to work. Very comforting song with a nostalgic hook, I would honestly even call it Whatsername 2.

16. Alpha Wolf - Sucks 2 Suck (feat. Ice-T)

This might be way lower than it should be but hear me out. The song is great, the Ice-T feature is a little questionable but the whole vibe of this "standing up against bullies" type of hardcore song is really speaking to me. I often caught myself listening to it in home office when someone pissed me off.

15. LANDMVRKS - Creature

What's a song that begins with french rapping then turns into a metalcore anthem with a really melodic chorus and great breakdowns? This song. I really can't say anything else about this other than it's a banger.

14. Sum 41 - Waiting On A Twist of Fate

I could have picked any single from Sum 41's last album and it would have fit. I chose this one because of the punk-ish nature, fast drums, screamy vocals just in good Sum 41 fashion. I'm sad that I won't be able to hear this band live again but I'm glad they went out on their own terms (also I kinda relate to that).

13. Boi What - Funeral of an Antihero

If there was a genre called I'm not okay-core, this song would be there along with Lost by BMTH. The similarities are crazy between these songs and the pacing, the melodies and even the vocal style is very similar (though this song has the Plankton AI filter over it). I got called out by my ex-girlfriend for liking literal Spongebobcore but hey, a good song is a good song.

12. Nightwish - The Day Of...

Apparently it's an unpopular take but I loooove this song. The key change in the last chorus with the choir singing and Floor's amazing vocals had me shook since I first heard it. Though I think Yesterwynde was a little underwhelming (the later half, the first half is pretty decent in my opinion), this song is well deservingly here on this list.

11. Billie Eilish - Birds of A Feather

A really chill pop song from a really chill pop album and a really chill pop artist. It's also adorable and dreamy and to be fair just a cute lovesong that gets stuck in your head. I only put this love song ahead of the Green Day one, because even though both singers are called Billie, this one made a more unique sounding song.

10. Bilmuri - TALKIN' 2 YOUR GHOST

I know, unexpectedly low for American Motor Sports being my AOTY, but I got into the Bilmuri hype really late this year. Johnny Frank's metalcore-country hybrid band did a great job with this song despite it being less than 3 minutes long. I can also relate to the meaning behind the lyrics, I just love the whole thing to be honest.

09. Sleep Theory - Stuck In My Head

Sleep Theory is a band that I rarely listen to but when I do, I binge a lot of their songs. They're very nu-metal adjacent modern metal/metalcore band that have a very good artistic direction and good sense of melody. Also in my opinion very underrated, I love their older EP Paper Hearts, as well as this song. And of course this one got stuck in my head all year, pun intended.

08. Spiritbox - Soft Spine

YOU ALL DESERVE EACH OTHER. This callout is probably the hardest of the year for me, the song is pure breakdowns and screams, being very faithful to Spiritbox' sound. I'm really looking forward to their new album. Similar to their song Cellar Door from last year, this one doesn't need any huge melodies or choruses either as long as the heaviness is there.

07. Ice Nine Kills - A Work of Art (feat. SHAVO)

Despite hating horror and gore, INK is one of my favorite bands right now. The melodic sensibilities of Spencer Charnas. musical genius of of the whole band, and the corny horror vibe that does not take itself very seriously always brings me to a good mood. For some reason the band got a lot of hate online for being "boring and cheesy" by most metalcore listeners and reviewers but I honestly cannot give less fucks about it. The breakdown with the clown noise just always makes me smile. A Work of Art is a banger (and the key change at the end is just perfect).

06. Knocked Loose - Suffocate (feat. Poppy)

I kind of lied at the beginning. Poppy is featured in multiple instances on this list, bringing her to my favorite artist for this year. Knocked Loose knocked it out of the park this year with their album, You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To, and even though I wasn't very keen on Bryan's vocals first, the pissed of vibe of the whole band got me through my worst days of this year. Her PR team must do a great job because wherever I looked this year I saw this girl who started out as a creepy internet sensation, making it to Jimmy Kimmel by screaming her lungs out and then releasing one of the biggest albums of 2024. Also the reggaeton breakdown got me jamming even though I absolutely despite the original genre. Great job, KL.

05. Poppy - they're all around us

Yeah... I know. I'm a liar. So the album of this unexpected banger came out on the same day as another anticipated album of mine, yet this song was still on repeat more times than that record as a whole. 2024 was undoubtedly Poppy's year for sure. Oh and about the song, well it's very angry, brutal at times, but still has a Britney chorus, do you want any more information?

04. twenty one pilots - Routines In The Night

A bit of a mood change as we get to my favorite pop song of the year, which is unexpected a little because all the singles from Clancy, the 2024 album of the band were very competitive. Routines In The Night got stuck in my head for days, and while I was trying to figure out why, I noticed that the melodies just like in the Billie Eilish song, were very comforting, but in a different way. It was more like meeting an old friend late at night because neither of you can sleep. Brought me back to the good old days.

03. Electric Callboy X BABYMETAL - RATATATA

Some unhinged commenters said that this collab is similar to WWII, since the germans and the japanese have united and dropped a bomb. While this might be a very dark joke, I think it's absolutely correct. Two of the most fun modern metal bands unite in this beautifully chaotic mess of a metalcore mixed with J-metal, I love this song so much and it always brings me to good mood.

02. Linkin Park - Two Faced

Welp. Linkin Park are back alright. Two Faced brought me back to the first time I listened to Hybrid Theory and Meteora in full. The breakdown, the rap parts, the screams, everything is perfect and I can honestly say I'm always fully immersed in nostalgia when playing this song. Sidenote: this was the only song this year that I always had to listen to twice because one time was never enough.

01. Bring Me The Horizon - n/A

Might be an unlikely pick but n/A was my most relatable song this year. Oli dealing with substance abuse and telling the story of his relapse, how he feels guilt over relapsing made me think of how much I fucked up this year. I could write a bunch of personal stuff here why I chose this as my song of the year but let me just say that the subject matter always hit very close to home, especially describing the intrusiveness of Oli's thoughts. I literally never skipped it, ever.

So these are all my favorite songs this year but of course the list could be even longer than this by at least 10-15 songs.

[rekikiri]

1. Rant to me about a book you absolutely hate!!!!!! (For the ask game)

ahhh I’m so glad you picked this one!! Thanks for the ask!

so I don’t have a lot of books I can think of that I hated but the first to come to mind that I hated (and finished) was She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen (warning that this got super long so I’m doing a see more for it)

let me preface this that it is my opinion and if you like it that is totally fine!! also spoiler warning

okay for starters, fake dating is something I enjoy quite a bit! I really love fake dating, but I’m usually not a huge fan if it is to make someone else jealous tho which is a big part of Scottie’s motivation, so already off to a bad start.

Scottie is the main character here. Her and irene are supposedly enemies, but the events that make them hate each other are just not comparable to me. The reason Scottie hated Irene was LITERALLY A MISCOMMUNICATION. It would’ve been so quick and easy to clear it up but instead she hated Irene and was so mean to her (explained later)

There’s an incident at the start of the series where there’s a small car accident between the two and Irene needs her car repaired. Irene’s mom insisted that she had to pay for it, and to do so she would’ve likely need to quit cheer to get a job to cover it. So in the meantime, they’re carpooling. Scottie and her girlfriend had broken up not long before the book starts so Scottie offers to pay Irene $1000 to fake date her to make her ex jealous (which is just insane, you are 17 years old, a relationship is not worth it if you are needing to spend money to fake date a pretty girl to make her jealous). They only even broke up because her girlfriend was moved to another school haha not even out of STATE just a little bit away.

Scottie talks about Irene being mean but she really isn’t?? Like Scottie is so much meaner to Irene and is super judgmental.

Here are some examples of things scottie did to Irene (using a book review to confirm my info for this because I read this like 2+ years ago and it just has stuck with me so might be some slight inaccuracies)

1. Tells irene she is “too stupid” and that’s why she didn’t get into an AP class

2. Purposefully makes Irene spill her coffee on herself while driving her to school (then does the stupid ‘name three songs’ thing about the Green Day shirt Irene was wearing)

3. Said its misogynistic that cheerleaders always cheered for the boys sports and told Irene that cheer wasn’t a real sport anyways (multiple times) and insists that she didn’t deserve the student athlete of the year award even tho she worked her ass off to deserve it (and damn if that ain’t some misogynistic bullshit if you ask me)

Here’s a quote I found in the reviews that is a big reason why I fucking hate scottie

"It's not my fault you're so fucking insecure about being a cheerleader or that no one, including your own mother, takes you seriously about it."

That’s just so fucked up, I’m sorry. I would never fucking date her if she said that shit to me

NOT TO MENTION

Wanna know what Irene did that was supposedly so awful?

Had Scottie’s car towed. And it wasn’t even malicious! She accidentally had Scottie’s car towed when she was trying to have someone else’s towed to prevent them from driving drunk after a party they were at. Like if I were Scottie id be pretty pissed but like ? Just make her pay the fucking fee to get it back. Don’t need to be a huge bitch about it. She would’ve known it was an accident too if she just TALKED TO HER, but no, decided Irene was her worst enemy ever

And we find out about what happened after Scottie kissed her ex at a party after her and irene are sorta getting together for real, and brings the car issue up when irene is upset with her for it. Like I’m sorry you’re only going to bring up the awful “oh you towed my car” thing when you just kissed your ex when you’re with her??? Nope not comparable whatsoever I’m sorry

AND when she asked Irene to fake date her, Irene wasn’t out!! She was out to her family but Scottie really put her in a shitty situation with her offer. She either had to get a job and quit cheer (which if I remember correctly was how she planned to get a college scholarship!!!) OR she could fake date this mean girl for money and out herself in the process. I hated that and that’s only the smallest of things

Small thing too is that apparently the book was set where I live?? Funny that it even mentions where they are from because I have not a single memory of any specific thing that would make me think it is set here haha

Anyways yeah if you made it this far, thank you for hearing my bitchy book thoughts. I cannot think of a single other book that I’ve read start to finish that I dislike enough to say this much about it (I’m very good at knowing if ill hate a book before I start it and I’m very easy to please as is)

[eddydreaming]

Death's Game - Review

Hey there! Today I want to talk about my first kdrama of the year… Death’s Game. It is divided into two parts, but I will discuss it as if it’s only one. In my opinion, it was ridiculous to divide it into two parts, if they wanted to release the first 4 episodes first and a couple of weeks later the rest, then fine, but no need to make it have two parts. Enough complaining, let's get into it.

GENERAL INFORMATION

Episodes: 8

Release dates: December 15 2023 and January 5 2024

Main Cast:

Plot:

“He's perennially unemployed, his ex-girlfriend has moved on, and he's just lost all his life savings to a Bitcoin scam. Burdened by societal pressures, Choi Yi Jae decides to take his own life. Insulted by his flippant attitude towards dying, Death comes to punish him with her game: he must experience death over and over again through 13 other lives. But if he can find a way to survive the imminent death coming for these lives, he gets to live out their lifetime. His life was a bust, but what about the lives of others?”

(Source: mydramalist)

REVIEW - NO SPOILERS

The main reason I started watching this drama was the crazy cast it has. Like, how can it have so many famous actors? Again, it’s crazy. I mean, look at this:

Then, I decided to watch the trailer to know what I was getting myself into, and I thought, once again, that it was crazy.

My first impression of the drama, without even having watched a single episode, was huge, so the second it came out there I was. I wasn’t prepared enough though. 

The first few episodes of the show were hilarious and entertaining. However, as the story progressed, it became more intense, and before I knew it, I had already finished the first 4 episodes. Okay, it’s alright, now I only have to wait a week to watch the other 4, right? Nope, I had to wait until the 5th of January, because someone decided to torture us watchers by making us wait all that time.

The second part of the drama was even better than the first, particularly the last episode. It was the most thought-provoking thing I've watched in a while.

This drama is not for everyone: its main theme is s**cide and d**th. Of course, it can be hard to watch for many people, but the meaning of life that it tries to convey is worth everything. 

REVIEW - SPOILERS

I recommend not to read this part if you haven’t watched the drama yet. I know some people like reading spoilers and that it makes them want to watch something more, but I am gonna give huge spoilers, including the end, that will for sure affect your experience. 

Now, can we talk a little bit more about a specific character? The ML’s mother. She made me suffer A LOT. Her thinking that her son had committed s**cide because of her hurt me greatly. Because of that, the last episode was… wow. I swear I cried for a whole 30 minutes. 

I truly liked how they got to merge all the stories into one, making all the lives Yi Jae had lived linked. It was thrilling, infuriating and sad, those would be the three words that describe it the best.

One of the most shocking parts was the painter assassin’s death, a death planned by Yi Jae himself. It was horrid, and remembering while writing about it right now gives me the chills. I thought it was unplanned, but he had intended to die in such a way just as a plan for his vengeance. That is outstanding from the ML, so anguished when at the beginning seemed like such a fragile and weak person. That part is when we see the most massive change in the ML, a fundamental character development. 

The ending couldn’t have been more perfect, I couldn’t have asked for more really. He decided to live his mother's life, who had planned to s**cide. That way, he survived Death's challenge, and so she gave him another opportunity, an opportunity to get back to his life. He achieved it.

Yi Jae wanted desperately to go back to his life because he could see that the people he had left behind cared for him deeply, and they deserved him to stay alive. The end is with the ML talking with his mother, who had called him right before he jumped from that roof.

¿DO I RECOMMEND WATCHING IT?

Yes, yes and yes once more. It was shocking and I cried a lot, but it was all worth it. It’s been a while since I watched it, but I still recall the intense emotions it evoked.

The content may be too intense for some viewers. However, if you are hesitant and my review has not been enough to persuade you, go and watch the trailer or give the first episode a chance. If it doesn't capture your interest by the end of the first episode, then it may not be to your liking.

[herecomesthefirstday]

herecomesthefirstday's year in review

Big things: Published a paper & a letter with my job, moved out of my parents' house and in with my boyfriend, stopped having a job, started watching One Piece, flew to Atlanta even though I hate flying, caught up with One Piece

TOP 20 FILMS OF 2023 / more & more year in review (music, TV, books, games) under readmore

Bottoms

Past Lives

Polite Society

The Holdovers

Oppenheimer

John Wick Chapter 4

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Rye Lane

Killers of the Flower Moon

May December

Barbie

Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning

The Pope's Exorcist

Asteroid City

Theater Camp

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

You Hurt My Feelings

Poor Things

They Cloned Tyrone

80 For Brady

BEST SHORT OF 2023: Take Me Home

Songs on repeat / movies I watched and rated 4.5 or 5 stars / books read / TV watched / games played by month

January 🎵 Marigolds - Kishi Bashi American Teenager - Ethel Cain 🎬 Hail, Caesar! (2016) 4.5 Embrace of the Serpent (2015) 5 Fail Safe (1964) 4.5 Honorable mention: The Best Years of Our Lives (1946) 3.5 📚 World War Z - Max Brooks 🔁1/16 Gideon the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir 1/18 Harrow the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir 1/23 Nona the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir 1/26 📺 Dark

February 🎵 Partita for 8 Voices - Roomful of Teeth God Is a Freak - Peach PRC 🎬 Third Kind (2018) 4.5 Showgirls (1995) 4.5 Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003) 🔁 5 📚 The Memory Police - Yōko Ogawa 2/7 Authority - Jeff VanderMeer 2/15 📺 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 🔁 Bloodline S1

March 🎵 Not Another Rockstar - Maisie Peters 🎬 Banshees of Inisherin (2022) 4.5 John Wick (2014) 🔁 4.5 John Wick: Chapter 3 (2019) 🔁 5 Honorable mention: 80 for Brady (2023) 3 📚 Acceptance - Jeff VanderMeer 3/4 How To Hide An Empire - Daniel Immerwahr 📺 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 🔁 Yellowjackets S1 🔁 S2 Poker Face Defending Jacob

April 🎵 2 Be Loved (Am I Ready) - Lizzo Daytona Sand - Orville Peck Little Dark Age - MGMT 🎬 John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023) 4.5 Honorable mention: Rye Lane (2023) 4 📚 How To Hide An Empire - Daniel Immerwahr 4/1 📺 Succession Grey's Anatomy Yellowjackets

May 🎵 Home - Diana Ross Lipstick Lover - Janelle Monáe Gloria - Laura Branigan 🎬 Polite Society (2023) 5 The Joy Luck Club (1993) 4.5 Crank (2006) 4.5 📺 Succession Grey's Anatomy Yellowjackets White Lotus 🎮 Tears of the Kingdom

June 🎵 Lipstick Lover - Janelle Monáe Movin' Out - Billy Joel 🎬 The Fabelmans (2022) 4.5 Casablanca (1942) 🔁 4.5 Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) 4.5 Deep Blue Sea (1999) 5 What We Do In The Shadows (2014) 🔁 5 📺 White Lotus Grey's Anatomy Marriage The Bear 🎮 Tears of the Kingdom

July 🎵 My House - Diana Ross Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell 🎬 Lady Bird (2017) 🔁 4.5 Pacific Rim (2013) 🔁 5 Whiplash (2014) 5 The Watermelon Woman (1996) 4.5 Howl's Moving Castle (2004) 🔁 4.5 Oppenheimer (2023) 4.5 📺 The Bear Grey's Anatomy Black Mirror What We Do In The Shadows Foundation 🎮 Tears of the Kingdom Rocket League

August 🎵 It's All Coming Back To Me Now - Celine Dion Adagio in D Minor - John Murphy 🎬 Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (2021) 4.5 📺 Foundation Only Murders in the Building Grey's Anatomy One Piece 🎮 Tears of the Kingdom We Love Katamari 📚 The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco

September 🎵 American Pie - Don McLean 🎬 Bottoms (2023) 5 📺 One Piece Foundation Grey's Anatomy 🎮 We Love Katamari 📚 The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco (9/9) Stone Butch Blues - Leslie Feinberg (9/26)

October 🎵 No One Comes Close - Infinity Song New Body Rhumba - LCD Soundsystem No One Dies From Love - Tove Lo 🎬 Past Lives (2023) 5 Deep Blue Sea (1999) 🔁 5 📺 One Piece Grey's Anatomy Lupin GBBO 📚 Arsène Lupin, Gentleman-Thief - Maurice Leblanc (10/26)

November 🎵 Liability - Lorde Together in Electric Dreams - Philip Oakey & Giorgio Moroder 🎬 Annette (2021) 4.5 Electric Dreams (1984) 5 Honorable Mention: Light & Magic (2022) 4 📺 One Piece Grey's Anatomy GBBO The Crown Mindhunter 🔁 📚 The Uranium Club - Miriam E. Hiebert (11/16)

December 🎵 Isumagijunnaitaungituq (The Unforgiven) - Elisapie Butchered Tongue - Hozier Christmas Baby - Infinity Song Home For Christmas - Infinity Song 🎬 The Holdovers (2023) 4.5 x2 Take Me Home (2023) 5 - short Pro Pool (2022) 4.5 - short Mamma Mia! (2008) 5 🔁 Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) 5 🔁 The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) 5 🔁 Honorable mention: The Quiet Girl (2022) 4 📺 One Piece Grey's Anatomy Only Murders in the Building New Amsterdam Frieren Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury The Crown Pokémon Concierge 🎮 Fall Guys Super Smash Bros. Ultimate 📚 Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel (12/25)

[duncan-rohanne]

so ‘the invisble life of addie larue’ is a book, alright. i wanted a single, non-series, book for my vacation but since i’m sick, i binged this monster in day and a half. and...  i understand why booktok and booktubers love this, the writing style is pretentious as fuck, it’s like, i know the author is dark academia girl, i don’t need to google her, i know she is. on the other hand i don’t mind, it’s a vibe, i think this book is meant to be enjoyed in the autumn evening, somewhere cozy with hot cocoa. unfortunately, it’s almost summer and i’m on cough drops.

this is my review, with spoilers. buckle up. i went off.

three main character. addie, miss main girl. henry, “the boy” and luc aka lucifer. the devil.

i very much appreciate luc. he is a straight up cunt. no darkling-like motives to even delude himself that he tries to do good, no no, he is just a freak. which is great, i like him and i hate him. but as everything in this book, he lacks depth. with him, i could forgive it for the sake of mystery. addie is fine, i like her with henry but she is fine. problem i have with her that she lacks agency, she has no goals, no plans until the very last page. yes, she is an invisible girl but damn it girl, do something, be something, anything! henry tho... yes, hello, it is me, who when she sees self destructive boy, i’m like ‘yes! that one!’ his pov is by far the most interesting one but

i hate the fact his addiction and depression are treated like something that can be fixed by love. which is crazy because it is said that it can’t be, he is literally suicidal because of his ex-girlfriend, he makes deal with the devil just “to be loved,” cue 200 pages later, he is fine because he experienced “love.” (yes, the quotation marks are there for a reason, hold up.) i don’t even think this was intentional by the author but i had that feeling and i did not like it. point is, henry strauss didn’t need addie. he needed a therapist. which he didn’t get and as far as i remember no one even suggested it.

speaking of addie, she is a human who no longer feels like human, who craves human connection and in the end she is like eh, it’s fine. this was nice 12 months break in my 300 years of living. and that’s fine but i feel like we should’ve leaned into it more? where is some introspection? where is some soul searching? anything addie, give me anything, don’t be just standing emoji! you are main character ffs!

i already lost my shit over the generic love triangle. which is and isn’t true, it’s painted as a love triangle but no one is actually in love. luc doesn’t know what love even is. addie just wants to be seen and not be alone and henry is in the middle of depressive episode. and yet, it’s all painted as dark and sexy (luc/addie) and fluffy (henry/addie) and again - that would be fine, if addie and henry weren’t openly bi and luc immortal god. i’m sorry, why are we doing this? what is the reason??? i’m bi (myself) and i love representation as much as anyone else, and i am also a big fan of bi/pan people portrayed in straight relationships because that’s just how it usually ends up but it doesn’t erase the sexuality itself, so when i tell you there is absolutely no reason whatsofucking ever to write this “love” triangle as m/f/m relationship, i mean it. why is henry not a woman is beyond me. why is not luc’s and henry’s relationship explored at all is beyond me too.

i haven’t mentioned the side characters yet because honestly, just like with the main trio, there is not much to say. bea is best friend lesbian. she is nice. great. robbie is ex-boyfriend. he is cool. great. muriel is weird younger sister. awesome. addie met some one night stands that i forgot as fast as they did forget her. (there is a cat named Book, which is probably the best thing about this.... book)

i am actually really angry because this piece of literature had potential. it didn’t even need to deliver on all fronts, just one would be enough. i could ignore the weakass plot for deep and interesting characters. i could ignore the underdeveloped characters for the chemistry they have with each other. i could ignore the lack of it for exploration of darker themes. i could ignore the darker themes failing for representation of queer relationships. this book has all of that but it’s all just hinted. it’s a tea spoon of this and pinch of that - you are not making mojito out of this, honey!

here is the thing, i can actually recommend this book. yes, after i totally destroyed it in six paragraphs. this is a book that is meant to give you a vibe, immortal love story with dark stranger vs human love with antique bookstore owner. (my eyes rolled back so hard just writing this line.) if you want just that and cozy up by the fireplace when leafs starts to fall down, it’s perfect. go for it. you will probably love it. i knew going into this that this isn’t the book for me. i am way too cynical, way too critical and beyond fed up with enemies to lovers bad boy/good girl relationships. so all of this is just a rant of someone after reading the thing they never like.

5/10 if you are me. 8/10 if you are probably anyone else.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: april

let's go babyyyyyyy!!!!! WHAT have I been reading?

Cursed Bunny (Bora Chung, trans. Anton Hur 2022)

I added this short story collection to my TBR because I saw a reviewer call the first story the grossest thing they had ever read in their life, and you know what? that really was the grossest thing I've ever read in my life. I shan't even describe it because I'm eating and I don't want to ruin my lunch. but Chung writes a fascinating collection of sinister stories that dance across genre and offer up something strange to look at each time; do not let the awful poop baby scare you away.

White Noise (Don DeLillo, 1985)

I had no plans to read this book and in fact did not even know about it until a colleague told me about reading it for a class and then generously lent me her copy. it's an extremely clever book and also a maddening on that I wouldn't recommend to anybody; the ways in which DeLillo builds his commentary on class and consumerism and The Unbearable Shallowness Of It All is so deft and also made me feel like I personally was going insane. just pages and pages of brilliantly constructed drivel that means nothing and says so much. I think if the average booktokker had to explain this book they would explode and I should probably be on a watchlist for enjoying it.

Lunar Love (Lauren Kung Jessen, 2023)

this is hands down my favorite of romance novels I've read so far this year, because the protagonist, Olivia, it batshit fucking crazy. she's not supposed to be, we're probably supposed to just find her a little uptight and lovably neurotic, but she's absolutely unwell and reminded me of nothing so much as an early season Rebecca Bunch from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I spent the entire book waiting for her to attack someone or commit arson, because if you interpret the Chinese zodiac even a little wrong this woman goes fucking apeshit. tl;dr Olivia works for a matchmaking company based on the Chinese zodiac and truly, sincerely believes that real love cannot exist between people whose animal signs are incompatible; every time this worldview is challenged she has a fresh breakdown about it. the romance is whatever, the dialogue is nothing, and there isn't even any sex, but when I have to rank all twelve romance novels I read this year I strongly suspect Luna Love will be #1 because I support women's wrongs.

Shubiek Lubiek (Deena Mohamed, 2023)

a GORGEOUS (and massive) graphic novel about a world very similar to ours, with one little difference: magic wishes are real, and there's a tightly controlled industry surrounding who gets to use them and what they can wish for. Mohamed beings with an Egyptian shopkeeper, Shokry, currently trying to be rid of three very powerful wishes; what follows are three interconnecting stories of the people who buy Shokry's wishes and how their wishes complicate their lives. Mohamed beautifully balances magic and social commentary, examining every level of how wishes impact society. we see everything from a poor woman imprisoned in an effort to pressure her to sign over a wish to the government to an affluent but deeply depressed teen living in a gated community filled with pet dinosaurs, ending with a story about Shokry himself grappling with how to use the final wish to help a friend. reader, it did make me sob.

My Solo Exchange Diary Vol. 2 (Nagata Kabi, trans. Jocelyne Allen 2016)

there's not much I can say here that will be meaningfully different from what I said about Vol. 1 back in February. Nagata's memoir manga has just gotten to be such a little ray of sunshine for me; seeing her ongoing growth and struggles, the very relatable nonlinear progress, is affirming and devastating in equal measure. this volume in particular becomes much harsher with the benefit of hindsight - seeing her briefly hospitalized and struggling with drinking much more painful reading the book and knowing that her next release will be entirely centered around alcoholism and a much more serious hospital visit. for the love of god I just want this woman to be okay.

Mind of My Mind (Octavia E. Butler, 1977)

I would just like to say that I'm SO glad I decided to read the Patternist books in order of story chronology instead of release date, because if I had read this without spending all of Wild Seed getting to know what Doro's whole deal is I would have been lost at sea. as is, I will be upfront and say Mind of My Mind hasn't been my favorite of Butler's books - it feels like more of a supplemental text than anything, a bit of bonus content to explain the wider world of the Patternists that I know is coming, without the outstanding grace of Wild Seed. but I DO love some unhinged cult behavior, and goddamn does Butler deliver on that front. these telepaths are completely willing to go full cult after, like, two weeks of cohabiting against their will, and frankly I love that level of dysfunction for them.

Priory of the Orange Tree (Samantha Shannon, 2019) - after years of avoiding this fucking behemoth of a book I finally read it, and I'm delighted to report that it's... pretty good? it's fine. it's still unforgivably long and the prose frequently feels a little artless, but if you like a dense-ass fantasy book filled with people who have silly names debating the politics of dragons and magic gemstones in made-up places then you will have a blast. personally I love that shit, so I can wholeheartedly endorse.

Her Body and Other Parties (Carmen Maria Machado, 2017)

I've been rereading Machado's short story collection at a snail's pace, and having finally finished I'm delighted to say: this shit still fucks! I feel like I almost understood "The Resident" this time; definitely more than I ever have before. I'll get it some of these days!

My Alcoholic Escape From Reality (Nagata Kabi, trans. Jocelyne Allen 2019)

oh look, it's the much sadder memoir manga that I said was coming! I gave up all pretense of trying to pace myself this month and grabbed the next volume of Nagata's story from the library pretty much immediately; oddly, the first and fourth seem to be the only ones they have. seeing Nagata's slide back into alcoholism was rough, of course, but I was extremely impressed by the way she managed to so thoroughly translate the pain and tedium of her long hospital stay and pancreatitis diagnosis onto the page. her illustrations of food as she adjusted to her new diet were especially delightful; I felt like I could really feel the joy of discovering new treats that were safe to eat right alongside her. much is made in this book about Nagata's desire to branch out into fiction manga alongside her memoirs, and I'm curious to learn where that part of her career has gone.

[jacquelinemerritt]

Diamond is Unbreakable: Episode 9 Review

Originally posted June 6th, 2016

Women can be unhinged and dangerous too.

I’m incredibly bothered by the saying “bitches be crazy” and the idea behind it. Women are frequently painted as being “crazy” for simply having basic emotional needs and attempting to convey them in the (extremely limited) manner afforded to them by society.1

It is even more disturbing to see this trend displayed in the media, where the “crazy ex-girlfriend” trope paints emotionally unstable women as caricatures whose sole reason for being lying and manipulative is no more complex than that they are “crazy,” as if even unstable people were that simple.

Yukako Yamagishi, thankfully, is not that simple. While last episode it was established clearly that she is obsessed with Koichi, the nature of that obsession was outlined in broad terms, with her nuance coming from how manipulative she was before she decided to kidnap him, in “Yukako Yamagishi Falls in Love, Part 2,” we get to see the true depth of her obsession.

She alternates between maternal and manipulative, often at the drop of a pin, but her actions are all motivated by an overwhelming desire to love and be loved in return by Koichi, even if those actions take the form of physical violence and attempted murder.

Mamiko Noto is arguably to thank for most of this. Yukako is entirely believable as both an unhinged sociopath and an overbearing lover thanks to how well she differentiates between the two sides of her character, and she even manages to make Yukako sympathetic at the end as she realizes just how amazing her object of obsession is. After all, Koichi managed to not only escape and beat her, but also to unlock a new form for his Stand and save her life, even while she tried to kill him. If that’s not the kind of person worth being a little obsessed over, I don’t know who is.

Rating: 5/5

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Stray Observations

1While I will be the first to admit that we are far from perfect creatures, that we are stereotyped in this manner as often as we are with harmful ableist language shows just how far society is willing to go to deny our personhood, and how much farther it is willing to go when we suffer from mental illness, as if those who are mentally ill cannot lead worthwhile lives.

I didn’t note this in the last review, but I absolutely love the remix of “Crazy Noisy Bizarre Town” they’re using for the OP now. It feels a lot more appropriate to the tone of the show, also.

I know I’ve emphatically said that Yukako is abusive, and I absolutely hold to that, but I think she and I have a lot of the same “interests.” And that’s all I’m saying about that.