#murder can be good for one's mental health
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atomicsheepscientist · 10 months ago
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Niffty is such a psychotic maniac. I love her so much!
Just look at that face
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Look at it!
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knifearo · 7 months ago
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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...
#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things.#people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time.#but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized.#sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement.#this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex.#and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things#especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love.#our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!!#it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild....#anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that.#silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff.#love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another#same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take#anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that.#kiss kiss (<— lovelessly)#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#talking#aroace#aspec#sex positivity
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pepperpixel · 3 months ago
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*my eyes burst open w a flash of light*
SEVIKA
Yadda yadda yadda jinx is generally seen as a loose canon, does whatever she wants type of character, totally unpredictable. When in actuality, up until the last few episodes all of her choices and actions r motivated by wanting to please someone else. Hell. Even in the last couple episodes, the very Last thing we see her doing is ENTIRELY MOTIVATED by devotion and love and grief for silco, she’s taking out her frustration at herself and the world, and also honoring his wishes and dreams. By shooting a fucking bomb at piltover, she’s ensuring his life wasn’t in vain, she’s honoring him. In that moment
Her entire, self!!! is centered around love and loyalty. Is centered around other people, She’s motivated by an insatiable urge to prove herself, to be useful to those she loves, to show that she can help them and be there for them and be WORTHY of there love. That they haven’t made a mistake in loving her. To prove that she can be as pivotal to them as they r for her. She goes to the ends of the fucking earth to do this. And it ends. Terribly.
She puts the people she loves on pedestals and supplicates at there feet, she has no motivations most of the show outside of making the people she loves happy… she yearns for connection and love and safety. For a home that will never leave her behind, or crumble under her feet, (an indestructible home, That she can’t destroy just by being her…)
Which is why.. it’s so. Interesting and intriguing. How now, she has no one on that pedestal to worship, no one to drag sacrifices and offerings to the feet of, no one to spiral around and build herself off of. She is a person so *affected* by her relationships w others, but there is no relationship now, no one is stepping up to the plate to love her. She’s too much. For anyone. The one person who seemed to have unlimited patience for her is dead, because of her. and maybe vi could still love her.. but. She’s already soured that relationship. Already broken that one too. Broken all her favorite toys that made her so happy. That were there for her. And scared all the rest away. (There is a limit to what vi can support and forgive to reconnect w her sister. And I believe terrorism is crossing that limit ghgh)
And maybe, jinx is cutting that part of herself out on purpose. To be stronger, she’s realized she just. Isn’t made for love. That she ruins it all in the end. That it just makes everything worse. Messier. More complicated. She’s better off on her own, but for what PURPOSE! Who will she be now! What choices will she make!?! Almost all of her actions in the show were for others, what is driving her now, now that she has this gaping void at the center of her being. Where love used to be… what kind of person will she become, Without a guide to follow… a sun to orbit around. it’s sad honestly ghghg-!!! like yeah it’s not healthy that she is this way but there’s no THERAPY IN ARCANE. THIS IS THE WAY SHE IS! And now. She’s alone… it’s rough. But also intriguing…!! And I honestly have no clue how she’s gonna act in season 2,,, or what sorta shit she’s gonna get up to. but I’m excited.
#I have just watched the newest teaser.. omg. she built Sevikas new arm#Sevika is defending her… jinx probably tried giving her the arm and Sevika lashed out and that made jinx upset and she ran away#but then Sevika felt bad and came to hELP HER SEVIKA#SEVIKA I WAS NOT SURE IF U WERE GOING TO BE ON JINXS SIDE OR NOT SINCE#jinx does not rlly have a SIDE per say honestly!!! she is just fumbling her way thru this world one explosion at a time#and I thought u might be mad at her cuz of the whole silco thing. but OMG SEVIKA#SEVIKA AND JINX…. Sevika hardened badass w a heart of gold actually…#cannot help herself from looking out for this runt. even if itd be easier to leave her on her own to sort her own shit out#like… ghghg I love Sevika pls I hope the season actually has so much Sevika and jinx yessss. yes!!! ha ha ha!!! yes!!!!!!#Srry for hijacking my jinx mental health post for reactions to the new teaser but I was! excited!!!#I wanted to talk about it and I thought it’d be funny to add it onto this post lol#arcane#pepper words#sevika#jinx#also omg watching those fucking steampunk Victorian England chucklefucks try to mess w jinx#the violence I felt within me… like… I kno she’s a badass murderer who can kill ppl so good. but like.. seeing those guys hurt her#rage…. rage inside me. who the fuck do u think u are. die#ghghgh like I got SO protective watching that like how fucking dare anyone ever hurt a single hair on this girls head she’s WOBDERFUL#ok????#alright anyway… there’s my thoughts on that teaser lol. I’m excited for Sevika and jinx interactions :)#(​jinx building sevikas new arm and getting rejected and that being why she’s crying isn’t confirmed but it MAKES SENSE!! ok!#I would like if that’s what happened so I believe that that is the case ghghg- if it turns out I’m wrong then! whatever lol)#I think if jinx is actively terrorizing u or society u r allowed to beat her up I can give ppl a pass on that#cuz sometimes… u kno.. sometimes she does do that! and ppl have a right to defend themselves / there homes#but those motherfuckers we’re on her for NOTHING! she was just running down the street upset!! I draw the line at that u#if u haven’t been personally victimized by jinx u aren’t allowed to hurt her ghgh-#this addition is in regards to my anger at the Victorian England chucklefucks lol#I think it might be more accurate to say I wasn’t sure if JINX was going to be on SEVIKAS side… honestly. rather than the other way around#ALSO B4 I RUN OUT OF TAGS. I actually think she’s probably crying cuz she ran into fucking VI AND THE ENFORCERS B4 not cuz of Sevika!
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icarusredwings · 3 months ago
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Thinking about Wade's life and his mental health issues a lot, and I just thought about this. Not only being abused, but his entire brain being made out of cancer, and the fact that oxygen was physically taken from his brain over the course of 2+ days multiple times?
We see him coloring a lot and claim multiple times that he doesn't/ can't read (this is probably a bit, I guarantee he can read), but it had me thinking what if some days were more childish then others as part of his coping mechanisms?
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At first, Logans was really confused about why Althea puts up with it until he realizes that it's extremely good for him to just... be taken care of? Praised and given affection for the bare minimum? He thinks it's weird. This wasn't the same man he was fighting with yesterday.
Coming into the living room, he sees Wade sprawled out with crayons and markers all around him with multiple pictures already coloured, his notebook having pages ripped out of it as he kicks his feet and hums.
On the tv, there are cartoons playing. Once in a while, he'll look up at the tv and then go back to coloring. "What are you doing??"
"Hi wolvie. 'm colouring."
"He's behaving, so don't ruin it." Al says. There's pictures by her, and she is holding a box of cereal.
"O..kay??" Sitting down, he's almost too curious to just walk away, picking up puppins so she doesn't ruin his drawings, petting her confusedly.
Sometimes, Al will hold out some cereal in her hand. "Wade." And he will see him shimmy over and take the cereal. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, baby."
As hes scooting back to his color spot he stops and watches the tv for a bit longer then usual.
"...What.. the fuck." Logan says to her and she gives him a brow raise. "What?"
"What is he doing?"
"He's coloring. And I thought I was the blind one."
"No no I mean.. those aren't murder plans. That's puppins."
"Yes? And?"
"And.. what did you do to him?"
"Treated him like a human being. Give it a try once inawhile." She says, and he comes back with more pictures, climbing in between them with no regard for space as he leans into her.
"Oh thank you. What is it?"
"It's you."
"Oh? How sweet. Do I look good?"
"Mhm!"
"Im glad. How about you show our friend here your amazing pictures. And he better be nice!"
So wade turns and now is leaning on logan as he points to a different picture. One of Logan with Puppins on a leash with a sun in the corner and crappy grass, a hearts all over the place.
At first he wants to tell him to get off of him, but seeing the pictures and how excited his eyes were to show him, it hits him and he understands.
".. uhm.. thank you?" But he puts it back in his hand. "Oh- you want me to keep it?"
Wade nods and starts cleaning up his crayons.
Logan turns to whisper to Al "How long does this go on?"
"About 2 hours or so."
"Why?"
"God only knows, but it helps with his nightmares."
"Colouring helps with his nightmares??"
"Its more then that. Hey sweetheart? Why don't you bring your ponys out."
"Theyre horses."
"Oh im sorry, my mistake. I think logan here wants to play horses."
Logan gives her a look like excuse me? When did I sign up for that? "No.. uhm.. I think im good."
Wade gets this look of sad innocence but goes to get them anyway, beginning to play by himself, brushing them and making them talk to each other quietly. As if he speaks any louder, he would get hit.
Logan groans and is like "Gimme a fucking horse.."
From then on, Logan is quick to understand what's happening and is much nicer to him, starts giving him snacks, buying him actual coloring books, and has pinned his drawings to the fridge each time he's gifted one. His horses name is Buttercup, by the way.
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bitchlessdino · 1 month ago
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stolen entries (m)
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airing: fem!Reader x stalker!joshua
Genre: thriller, smut, stalking au
Word count: 10k
tags: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T FOLLOW IN THE READERS FOOTSTEPS AND STAY SAFE. rated R for life RUINING, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND READ WARNINGS TO AVOID ANY TRIGGERING SUBJECTS, stalking, wrong just very morally black!joshua, dark imagery including but not limited to: implied and mentions of murder/threat, mentions of manipulation, mentions of blood, window sex and implied fear of falling out, possessive!joshua, pet names (angel, darling, ect), hair pulling, spanking, blowjobs/cunnilingus with consumption, face fucking, degradation, praise kink
Summary: Diary entries of a man in love. Joshua knew he loved you the moment he laid his eyes on you and had to have you, even if it meant enduring the echoes of every intimate detail of every sexual encounter you’d had before him. But he knew you were worth the wait. He was worth the wait.
author note: thank you @diamonddaze01 @wongyuseokie @tomodachiii @miabebe for betareading! mental health is great thank you for asking, im really excited to have been working on this and everyone involved in betaing have been so incredibly helpful. i hope yall enjoy and thank you again for your patience. <3
Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @camisun93 @emmmui @toruro @jeonride @novalpha @nvmrljk @feat-sun @tinkerbell460 @aaniag @tacosandbitch @kyeomiis @wonwooz1-blog @horanghaezone @stagefrjghts @pantumin @aaniag @mochisdayone @gyuguys @idubiluranghae
Entry #3 - November 30th: White suits you.
You look so perfect the way you do. Perfect in white. Perfect in lace. Perfect. Perfect. Forgive me, darling, for being redundant. But that’s all you look to me. Perfect. 
What wasn’t perfect was who you had in your room.
How perfectly imperfect.
But what was perfect was those sounds. So lewd. So perfect. Decadent. Enchanting you are, my dear. I wish I had been the reason for those sounds, but for now, I can only live vicariously through November 30th. He will only be known as November 30th. He doesn't deserve a name.
But, in a way, I should thank him. He’s satiating you now. He’s getting you ready for me as I’m getting ready for you.
Be patient, my sweet.
Entry #15 - December 15th: You like how it hurts.
 I don’t like this one. He’s rude. Doesn’t even open the door for you. Doesn’t say thank you or please when he asks for something. Just dumps you into bed like you’re a ragdoll.
For some reason, you like that. You like that it hurts. You like it so much you scream his name. I’m forced to learn it. 
Seokmin. 
Seokmin. Seokmin. Seokmin. 
Awful name. Awful on the tongue. I’d be better on the tongue.
But instead, he’s striking you. And I see red. In more ways than one. And you should be in agony, and I’d rescue you. But you’re laughing. You’re begging for more. You’re not fighting him to stop. You enjoy it too much. 
So I’m watching again. But I’m not gonna like it. I don't like him.
But you like it. That’s what matters. I despise December 15th—what he does to you, how much you like it, and how much I could do so much better.
Entry #32 - January 1st: You like to teach.
Happy New Year, darling. You started off with someone young. Someone talkative. An amateur. You’re drunk, however, so I'm sure you’ll regret it in the morning.
But for now, you’re enjoying yourself yet again, and by god is it messy. He’s very messy. He touches you like he’s never had experience before, and you let him. I should resent you, but in no way can. You’re precious. My experimental little darling. I’m addicted to you. I must have you, and neither this Chan, Seokmin, nor Jeonghan can stop me.
But for now, I'm grateful the boy cut it short. Like the late bloomer is. How incompetent. But you made it a teaching opportunity. You’re quite good at it. And you made the boy work to your advantage. That’s so sexy. So you. Not only are you beautiful, but you’re also clever. Just like I knew you’d be. January 1st is a good kid. But he should stay in his lane before I push him into one.
Entry #45 January 13th: Dirty talk is a must.
This one is rather peculiar. Overly confident. And rather…annoying. Like a puppy without a leash. Drunk on ego and hard liquor with names I don’t even bother to pronounce. He’s pretentious and it’s clear in the way he undresses himself for you.
He treats you like he’s the only man in the world, and you’re simply beneath him, but I know you’re so much more. Yet, you encourage it. You encourage his… delusion that he’s this outstanding work of art.
You love how he narrates, how he talks to you as if you’re incompetent—degrading even—and you egg him on. “Good girl” this, “bad slut” that. It’s contradictory, but you enjoy it nonetheless. You get off on such obscenity. You’re euphoric from it. Although I hate to do such a thing and call you rancid names, I’ll have to ponder more creative versions.
Nonetheless, you like a bit of chatter, don’t you? Well, January 13th will have nothing on me, my little Angel.
Entry #78 - February 15th: You can keep going until you’re in ruin.
You’ve had a lonely month, and I do apologize, my darling, especially since it’s partially my fault. It is not my time just yet to have you. I must discipline myself first. Condition myself to cater to your every whim. And you have a lot of them.
You’re greedy. This one was utterly restless, I almost felt bad. His stamina had nothing on yours, darling, and I see that you can bite more than you can chew. You’re insatiable. I lost track of the hours that night. My knees, scraped raw and red against the rough concrete floor, as I stayed hidden in the shadows, waiting for you to finish, which you did. Again. Again. Again. Again. 
I was starting to abhor this February 15th. What country did he save in his past life that earned him such devoted attention? Was he just that amazing? Did he make you 1000% satisfied? Would I have to kill him for that kind of love? Skin him and string him up like Christmas lights? It would be nice to prepare for the holidays early, wouldn’t it?
I’ll refrain for now. For your sake. But to keep up with you, my condition needs to multiply tenfold. I need to be able to be ready. Do what I need to to make indubitably and utterly mine.
M I N E.
Entry # 124 - April 1st: Toys are for adults too.
The joke was on me thinking you’ve changed your ways. Making love, or should I say primal sex, seemed to be something in the back of your head, but that wasn’t the case.
Instead, you fucked someone. A comedian nonetheless, and after he had finished his stand-up. You sat your pretty ass on the stool beside him, twirling your pretty strands of hair, batting your pretty lashes on that pretty face of yours. Just because it was April Fool's day doesn't mean you had to be the fool, my love. That was reckless. 
But I suppose I learned something about you. Something you like in bed that you haven’t exhibited in others is that although you love a good laugh, it wasn’t fit for the bedroom. Sometimes, toys aren’t just a trickster's accessory but a vixen’s too. They are just simply different. Distinctly different.
Though a comedian’s job is to speak, you had him—well—gagged. Ball-gagged, no less. That was... intriguing. Enticing, to say the least, and you turned the whole performance into something far more captivating. There’s always something new I’m learning about you, love. And I can’t wait to show you what I’m capable of when I finally get my hands on you—and your toys.
Entry # 200 - June 14th: You could do it anywhere.
Keeping up with your summer antics wasn’t easy. Considering every precaution I’ve taken and every obstacle I’ve faced, I did everything from double-checking flight numbers to calculating the perfect distance to stay hidden. If only you could appreciate my efforts, love. I had to make sure my hiding place remained undetected—always just far enough to stay out of sight, but close enough to ensure your safety.
And while I thought a vacation with your family was the last place you’d do looking, you wound up somehow in your brother’s best friend’s bed. Seungcheol, was it? You really have no fear, do you? All while your family was all downstairs, you were getting your desserts while everyone was preparing for dinner, wondering where you were.
Or when it was time to go down by the beach and you had a little adventure in the dressing room of ‘Martha’s Swimsuit Boutique.’ The employees blamed the sounds on the old building fixtures or whatever was happening next door, but I knew what was happening in there. Hell, every person with working ears knew what was happening in there. 
Every fiber of my being is screaming at me to forget you, to stop loving you, to forget you and how much you’ve hurt me. But I can't. No matter how much I want to or how many times I try, you're in my blood now. You're in my head, under my skin, and I can't rip you out. I don’t even want to.
You’re a part of me I can’t remove, like a vital organ. I just want you. I need you. I breathe you. If you want to do so much, I would take you right there on the dining table and wouldn’t care who watched, just to please you. Feel, taste, pound every part of you, from the red in your veins to cum that would flood in between my gums.
I  D O N T  K N O W  H O W  M U C H  L O N G E R  I  C A N  W A I T.
Entry # 237 - July 20th: At the end of the day, you want love too.
There’s no need to cry. He was never meant to have you is all. I must commend your brother. He beat that boy harder than I expected him to, but then again I would do a lot worse.
He didn’t deserve to have your heart. He was an idiot. I would never be like him. And you’ll realize that soon enough.
I would show you so much more. I can be so much more. I am so much more. My darling, I would travel to the next galaxy to have you, give you all that you desire, and make it so that the only tears you shed are the ones in bed when I prove to you how much you’re mine as much as I am yours.
Entry # 242 - July 25th: Today is the day.
Preemptively, I decided to go with a scent you’re familiar with. You've held out for weeks, even months, since your miraculous escape on July 20th. You’re stronger now, more confident, self-assured. very mindful, very demure. I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist saying it—just like you’ve repeated since locking yourself away. It’s cute, really. This whole ‘recovery’ thing, it suits you.
It’s like you were made to pique my interest and appetite. Even right now, as you’re outside the window of this restaurant, unsure if you want to enter because this was the one you’d frequent so often with him. Your favorite place to be since you were a little one. 
I still can’t believe you decided to move back home. As if he hadn’t hurt you enough, you breathe the air he does? Watching him engage with the pretty blonde on his arm will not heal you, my sweet Angel. It is wrecking you. You should’ve left when you had planned to then.
I picked up my life and ran after you because I worried so much. I worried what would happen if I weren’t around to be with you. To make sure you’re okay. But I won’t have to anymore.
Today, I pretended to pick up a book you dropped to make eye contact with you, slipping a secret message I left on a Post-it inside. I hope you read it. I hope you reciprocate. And if you don’t, it had been all for nothing.
I’d be nothing.
Entry # 243 - July 26th: I love you.
You answered back, just like I thought you would.
“Hi :)” you said, with that cute emoji thing you do. How adorable. 
For a moment I was worried, you wouldn’t but only a moment I promise. I would never doubt you. I have entire faith in you, you’d realize what this is. The fire I have burning for you. 
I’m glad you’re giving us the chance to realize what we’re meant to be. I can’t wait for our first date. I’m so excited, I don’t even know what to write for today. I just want to live in the bliss of knowing that you finally see me. See me.
Entry # 244 - July 27th: You couldn't wait, and I almost gave in.
You tried kissing me. Put your hand on my thigh. Brushing against my–
I can’t be impatient. This journey can’t be rushed. No matter how much I want to push your head into the mattress and split you in half as you’re calling out my name.
The sooner I give in, the easier it is to make me a rebound. And I am no rebound.
I am meant to be your eternal. Your other half. Your perfect opposite.
Sleeping with you as soon as tonight would’ve tainted our beginning. You mean so much more to me than that. 
Just know I want you so bad. I want to get to know you. I want to see you. For our future to start, we need to start this off right. You’ve signed up for a slow burn, my darling.
We are worth the wait.
Entry # 255 - August 7th: I love you more than I realize.
We are so good together. Even if the bag boy decides to flirt with you in front of me, and even if you entertain it a little, thinking I wouldn’t see.
You’re trying to punish me for being disciplined. It’s funny. The things I could do to punish you for testing my patience. Don’t pretend to be all innocent when you bend your ass towards me, leaning up against the conveyer belt to show off both your…assets. Give a show to me and that loud vest-wearing scum.
You think you’re so clever. So sneaky. And maybe you are. You’ve made quite the effort to conceal the truth about your previous relations. I like to think you’re doing it for me. For my sake. Because you’re so considerate. But I know the truth my darling. I know all I need to know about you. But I appreciate your efforts.
You really do love me. And somehow, I love you even more.
Entry # 297 - September 18th: You miss him.
You saw him today, and although you hid it, I could see it in your eyes. You miss him still. Like he was a scar etched into you, or a blood stain that was impossible to get out. 
Did I have to kill him to rid you of thoughts of him? End your suffering by ending his life. It would be easy. So so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so easy.
I just can’t stand the way you look at him. A mere boy when a man like me is beside you.
Making you wait feels almost impossible now. Who the hell am I kidding? I’m the one who's waiting.
I just had to do one last thing before. Just one more thing. By then it would be final. And it would just be us. Forever.
-
You had been seeing Joshua for just a few months, but he was different from the guys you’ve met before. A genuinely good guy. Gentlemanly, even. You found it cute and maybe hot–absolutely hot. Nothing more attractive than knowing a man can keep his hands to himself.
But now, you found yourself wondering if he had not initiated because of something else. Since you’ve met, he’s always been the perfect gentleman, polite and thoughtful in a refreshing and frustrating way. It’s rare to meet a man who doesn’t leap at the chance to get you into bed, and while you found his restraint enticing and irresistible, it also left you questioning whether he’s just being courteous—or if he’s doing it on purpose to ward you off.
You’ve given Joshua every hint imaginable. The thong peeking out from your jeans when you bent over, the casual unbuttoning of your top whenever his eyes drifted your way—each move deliberate, strategic. You even threw in your signature look, those smoldering eyes that always did the trick, scanning his body as if you could ravage him whole, and you would. It had a flawless track record. Until Joshua, that is.
It made you want him more. Like he was making you wait, beg for his attention. Made you forget for a moment you were crying over Seungcheol some time ago. As if your heart didn’t shatter into a million pieces shortly before meeting Joshua.
Even when you saw Seungcheol briefly–so briefly–a part of you still missed your ex, but you craved being in Joshua’s arms more. Like medicine. Joshua was your medicine.
God, you needed him so fucking viscerally.
That’s when you decided. No more beating around the bush this time. It’s been four months too long. You had to have this man.
You decided to make a surprise appearance at his place–the address you just happened to "discover" on his driver’s license when he wasn’t paying attention. And, of course, you showed up wearing something kind of insane.
You know those movie scenes where the sexy love interest throws on an oversized trench coat with barely anything underneath, or sometimes nothing at all? Yeah, well... you decided to try that. And now you’re waiting outside of his apartment building in the autumn weather–freezing your literal ass off–waiting for him to get home to give him the surprise of his life.
It had been over an hour, and with each exhale, your breath hung in the air, a visible reminder of the cold.  You hugged your coat tighter around your body, clutching it like it was the only barrier between you and freezing to death. And honestly, it might as well have been. Standing outside his building in practically nothing had your heart racing for all the wrong reasons.
Here you were trying to be all cutesy, sexy, and fun, and this damn man wasn’t even home. Were you out of your mind?
The anxiety was creeping in. The biting autumn air had found every exposed inch of your skin, and your confidence was sinking fast. Just when you were ready to leave this cringe-fest waiting to happen, and retreat to the warmth of your own home, you heard footsteps approaching from down the street. Your pulse quickened as you glanced up, and there he was, walking towards you in a long dark coat and sweater.
Joshua’s eyes met yours, his expression shifting from confusion to slow realization as registered you from his distance, watching you stand there bundled in your trench coat with something obviously beneath it. His lips parted slightly, his brow furrowed, but there was no judgment—just surprise, and more so curiosity.
You instinctively tightened your grip on the coat, pulling it closer around your nearly bare body as you leaned against the wooden front door that had been stubbornly keeping you outside. “Hey,” you managed to whisper, your voice trembling slightly in the cold, watching your breath materialize in the air as a delicate cloud of frost.
“Hi?” His tone was cautious but amused as if he was trying to piece together exactly what was waiting at his doorstep. He shoved his leather-gloved hands into the pockets of his own coat, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “This is...unexpected. What are you doing here?”
You let out a shaky laugh, nerves bubbling up as you shifted on your feet, your bare thighs scraping against one another as they clenched. “Yeah, so... there’s a really good explanation for all of this, but, um...” You glanced down at yourself, then back up at him, feeling more exposed than ever. “Can I come in first?”
His place was disturbingly neat—psychopathically neat. It was the kind of spotless where everything seemed too perfect, like someone with more than a few screws loose needed complete control over their space. Every surface gleamed, not a speck of dust or a misplaced item in sight.
“Want something warm? Tea, maybe?” He politely offered with a warm smile.
You found yourself mirroring his smile, a giddy excitement bubbling inside you like a teenager with a crush. With a light skip, you made your way back toward him, the trench coat swaying around you like an oversized brown paper bag—so tempting to just shed it. “That sounds really nice. Anything would be good.”
“Okay. I’ll put on some Earl Grey for you.” His lingering smilewas the last thing you see before he disappeared in the kitchen, giving you the opportunity to learn more about the owner of the home.
Nothing was out of place. The walls were a sterile beige, devoid of any warmth or personality, while the furniture radiated with an unsettling shine that suggested it had never truly been used. Not a single wrapper marred the coffee table, nor was there a crumb in sight—everything was meticulously arranged as if he harbored an unyielding aversion to disorder. It felt more like a stage set than a home, the kind of place that made you wonder if anyone actually lived here, especially given the spontaneity of your intrusion.
Your blood ran cold. The longer you scanned the room, the more strange it felt to be standing there. The hairs on the back of your neck prickled as unease settled in. You suddenly found yourself questioning why he was taking so long with the tea.
Your toes curled in discomfort as you glanced over to where Joshua had disappeared, and just then, he emerged from the kitchen, two mugs of steaming hot tea in either hand. He set them down on the coffee table with a practiced ease and settled onto the pristine couch behind him. “Have a seat. We can wait while the tea steeps.”
You nodded, a tight look on your face, and lowered yourself onto the couch beside him, accepting a cup and sipping on its deeply rich content. “Thank you.”
“Now, what brought you over here? I’m surprised you managed to find out where I lived...considering I never told you,” he said, his expression blank as he nursed his cup in his hands.
“Well,” you began, swallowing hard as the heat from the tea scalded your tongue and burned its way down your throat. “I’m not quite sure how to explain this, but…I found your driver’s license when it fell out of your wallet on one of our dates, and I kind of memorized your address? I thought I’d surprise you.” You paused, a nervous laugh escaping. “That’s weird, isn’t it?”
He set his tea at the corner of the coffee table, and clasped his hands together, a teasing glint in his eyes hearing your confession. “Well... I commend you for not only your bravery in the doing and admitting fault, but it’s not that weird, actually. It’s kind of flattering.”
“Really? But I invaded your privacy. That’s invasive—almost illegal, isn’t it?” 
For a fleeting moment, you swore you saw his fists clench, but then one of his hands slid over yours, his thumb gently brushing against your knuckle, quickening your heart rate. “But if I say it’s okay, then it’s okay. Right?”
Also, setting your tea aside, your other hand instinctively fell on top of his, the earlier discomfort and worry fading into the background. “I guess so.”
He shifted closer, his knee brushing against yours. “You look cold. Would you like a hug to warm you up?”
“S-sure,” you managed to stutter, your voice barely above a whisper as you accepted his invitation.
As his arms enveloped you, you felt the raw strength he kept hidden beneath the layers of clothing. The warmth radiated from his body, and you could feel the tension in his muscles as he tightened his embrace around you, holding you protectively–possessively even. You breathed in his scent, registering his cologne you were all too familiar with and something else you couldn’t put your finger on. For a moment, every trace of anxiety disappeared. Joshua had a way of making you feel secure again, of restoring that sense of safety you hadn't realized was what you were in search of.
You leaned into it, your breath fanning over the skin of his neck as your hand roamed up his back, eager to peel off his physical and mental layers keeping you from devouring him with reckless abandon. You wanted to pull him closer, to feel the reassuring weight of his body against yours, like your own personal shield. The conflicting urge to consume him entirely, to the point of exhaustion, while simultaneously cherishing every part of him was a dilemma you never anticipated facing—especially so soon after a breakup. Joshua stirred something deep within you, something you couldn’t even begin to explain, no matter how hard you tried.
When he let you go, the absence of his warmth was immediate, but the kind smile on his face remained as if reassuring you that everything was fine. “Better?”
“Yeah. That was nice,” you whispered, still holding his hands, both large and perfect.
“Good. Now. What was this surprise that couldn’t wait for a text or phone call?”
Now, a wave of nerves washed over you once more.
Your hands fiddled with the straps keeping your attire in place, and you hesitated before standing before him, mustering up the final bit of courage you had left in place of your dignity. “Well, I wasn’t quite sure if you were just being the polite gentleman who could ‘do no wrong’ or if you’d been completely oblivious to the hints I’ve been throwing your way since our first date. But I’m here making it as clear as possible for you, Joshua Hong.”
With a determined tug, you loosened the tie that held your closure in place, letting it slip from its knot and revealing the reason you felt goosebumps up your legs. Your breasts bulged out of the lacy fabric, leaving almost nothing to the imagination and hugging parts of your body the man before you had only seen in passing through a window. The pillowy flesh spilling from your decorated underwear left him with a sensation that wrapped around Joshua’s throat and clenched.
He couldn’t feel himself breathing, drinking in your exposed skin, admiring the bright white of the lingerie complimenting your skin as it clung on to you seamlessly, while the trench coat finally found itself where it belonged on the ground. He sank the couch behind him as you came closer, wordlessly tracing every curve, dotting every mole, noting every mark or scar as you loomed over him in feigned innocence. The only air he could draw was his ragged breath, his hands aching to touch you.
“I would love nothing more than to have your hands all over me,” You said with a sultry edge, dripping with obvious intent.
Your knee dug into the couch's cushion, the other following and taking residence in Joshua’s lap as he simply watched. His eyes softly blinked back up at you as you settled into him, having him melt under every word you spoke.
“Is that so?” He asked calmly, physically refraining himself, and ignoring the dark thoughts clouding his logic.
You threw your arms around his neck, gazing down at him as you shifted in his lap. “I do. It’s all I can ever think about anymore. Ever since these last four months.”
“Hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully, and you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks, like steam escaping from a kettle.
“Is that all you have to say?” 
“...Am I supposed to say something more?”
“How about–I don’t know. ‘I’ve been waiting for you to say that the whole time,’ or ‘I feel the exact same way, tongue wrestle me until we pass out.’ Give me something,” You begged.
He shrugged, playing up his ignorance. “Doesn’t sound like me? Does it?”
“Is this really all you can talk about? A girl in her best lacy underwear–in white mind you–sitting in your lap like she’s accepting ones in a night club, and you’re fixated on your characterization?”
He shrugged again as if taunting you, the smile on his face growing sinister at your agitation. “I have poor depth perception.”
You groaned, your body feeling heavy as you slumped against him, ready to slide off his lap in defeat. “I give up.”
But just as you were about to peel away from him, you felt a firm pair of hands steady you, anchoring you in place. Joshua’s eyes sharpened as his grip tightened, fitting your body in the curves of his palms. “Where do you think you’re going?”
You blinked back at him, confused yet oddly at home in his touch, despite the rapid beat of your heart suggesting otherwise. “I thought–I kinda thought you wanted nothing to do with me,” you reluctantly answered.
His cool palm slid against your flushed skin, trailing up your body and igniting a path of fire that battled the waves of chills following up your spine. Instinctively, you fell forward, involuntarily pressing your lace-clad chest against the cashmere of his sweater and finding purchase back around his broad shoulders, which looked bigger than usual. A soft squeak passed your lips as he tugged you towards, fitting your bodies together like pieces of a puzzle.
“You couldn’t be more wrong.” His hands grasped the sides of your thighs as he tucked them around his torso, not once breaking eye contact. 
You felt a cold sweat trickle down your skin, your body stiffening as you focused solely on the soothing tenor of Joshua’s voice. “I always see how you look at me, Angel.” His fingers carded through your hair, pushing it to one side and delicately grazing over the fullness of your breast. “And I love how you look at me.”
“Josh,” Your voice emerged softer than you expected, almost tinged with a plea as you drew closer.
“And believe me when I say this, darling, I’ll always want something to do with you. I want everything to do with you…if you let me.”
You felt his hand somewhere you’ve only ever imagined: at the hook of your bra before he slowly started to unlatch it, the straps falling off your shoulders as your support came undone. You were grateful to be pressed so close to him. Otherwise, your entire upper body would be entirely nude. Entirely exposed. You tucked your arm over your chest, gaze dropping at the perceived proximity until Joshua gently moved you by the chin to meet his eyes.
“Don’t.” He quietly demanded, purposefully moving away, and the undergarment fell from your body, your nipples christened by the chill air conditioning. “So perfect.”
His hand hovered over their shape, only ghosting over them but not nearly touching, yet either bud tensed at their mere presence. You exhaled shakily, your breath uneven and impatient, as your eyes suddenly drifted away, overwhelmed by an unexpected rush from his uncharacteristic attention.
“You don’t want to know how much I imagined putting you in my mouth.” His pursed lips landed on your collarbone in an open mouth kiss, gently pulling you between his lips.
You softly moaned, unfurling your digits before they slid up his neck. You couldn’t think, you couldn’t speak, you couldn’t do anything but—you felt his mouth latch onto you, teeth burying into your flesh. You parted your lip in another moan, instinctively reacting to the familiar concoction of pain and pleasure exhibited by previous partners, but this was Joshua. Gentlemanly Joshua.
He bared his hand flat against your back, dipping your body towards the coffee table and pressing urgent kisses to the hollow of your neck, lingering against the pulse of your throat and digging his hips into your pelvis. Your hand roamed over his body, cradling his head and pressing him closer against you as your knee hooked around his waist. 
Joshua swung his hand behind you, knocking over the mugs with a loud crash, sending tea spilling everywhere on the ground as the flat surface of the coffee table urgently met your exposed back. It stung how cold it initially was until the weight of his body stunned you, leaving you impervious to everything else. He grabbed your side, wrestling with the skin of your clavicle as his hand ran harshly over your erect buds, grinding them under his palm.
In between your legs, you felt warmth—the kind that makes a show when you could only think of being rammed at 100 miles an hour—and you felt it soak in the fabric of the lace, flossed between your folds when you were desperate for friction. “Joshua, please…” you cried.
He shoved away the useless bra now just hanging off your body before his lips curled around the curve of your breasts, kissing their underside as his thumbs fiddled with their sensitivity. Your knees bent towards you, your hips pulsating against his thigh as his tongue taunted you, flicking over the texture of your nipples and nipping at the tips as he pulled with his teeth.  You whimpered, body falling limp on the table as he nursed you between his lips, his eyes piercing back at you lewdly as an occasional moan would leave his lips.
“Tell me how you like it. Teach me.” He spoke with a quiet, commanding authority.
“Y-you seem to be doing a good job so far.”
He smiled, running his hand through your hair before it gripped between his knuckles, sending a rush of ache from your scalp. Your eyes shot up to meet his, a blend of fear and arousal flashing through them, but you were quickly soothed by the gaze he held, sultry and unshakable. “Should I be mean then?” He offered.
You let out a brief yelp after his hand swatted over your plush thigh, your flesh spilling between his fingers as he squeezed. The bridge of your nose touched your speechless expression, lips tracing over your face with a deep exhale. “Give you the kind of things you want? What I learned about you?”
“What have y-you learned?” you hesitated to ask.
His eyes glazed over you, seeing you melt at a simple glance before tenderly pressing his lips to yours, only sampling. You mewled in the depths of your throat, lips falling open as you kissed him for the first time, succumbing to the pillowy texture of his lips. His eyes partially open, he fixed his eyes on your features, how they contorted with his touch, reacting involuntarily to the rocking of his body against you. He was obsessed with the mere image of you.
“What I’ve learned, hmm,” he quietly pondered. 
Giving him time to think, your hand cupped over his attached to your thigh, guiding it under you and around your ass, letting his digits outline the curve of your body. He chuckled and brought the other hand parallel, following his carnal urge to clutch you tightly in his grip. A smile melted on your face briefly, enjoying the sensation of his hands before he roughly pulled down your underwear before you could even gasp, leaving you truly naked. 
“I’ve learned that when you want something, you take it.” His hands come down to the bottom of his sweater and pull it along with what’s underneath off of him. 
His glistening tan reflected back at you, beads of perspiration coating his skin—likely a result of months of tension finally unfolding. As you took him in for the first time, the way the light and shadows sculpted his form accentuated his physique, leaving you stunned and curious about what else he might’ve been hiding from you.
“So take what you want from me, Angel.” 
God, you really could swallow him whole in a single gulp.
You repositioned yourself, planted your knees on the table, and tugged him by his belt. Your once pleading eyes became determined as you fixated on tearing off his pants, starting by unbuckling his belt at the waist. Your eyes fluttered, seeing the bulge through his briefs, twitching in your presence while you fit a finger at the top hem. A sigh escaped you; glance briefly up at Joshua’s expression–full of patient anticipation–before wrapping your hands around his aroused girth.
“...You’ve been waiting for me,” you began to realize, seeing the cock firm up in your grasp.
He let out an amused hum, stroking the side of your head. “I wanted to make sure you wanted me.”
“Of course, I wanted you.” Your hand ran along his shaft, veins pulsing on the ball of your palm, and you pressed the head to your lips. “I just wanted you to show me you wanted me.”
Joshua’s groans barely escaped as your lips curved around the tip and more than gently kissed. His hand clasped around your head, moving it so your eyes could face his, seeing him come apart in front of you. From just your teasing. “Darling, if I did that…I’d never know when to stop.”
“Joshua. I’d never ask you to stop.”
His hand cupped your face, and you melted into his palm–absolutely reveling in the blind infatuation on your face before he made you face his arousal, cock grazing your chin before he pressed it past your lips. Your lips stretched around him like a rubber band, expanding to conquer his size but not with ease. Your hand covered his base and enveloping his length as much as you could.
“Angel,” he grunted.
He claimed the back of your head, leading your pace as you took him. Your hands clasped around his hips, fastening yourself to him. You could already feel your drool drip alongside your chin, becoming sloppy as you were fixated on his complexion: blissed with parted lips, looking at you like he’d been touched for the first time.
Your moans vibrated around him as he thrusted into you, momentarily breaching the air of his pelvis before he pulled you back, flicking his hips into your mouth and overcome with ecstasy. “My good little Angel,” he groans, breath hitching in his throat. “Taking my cock like you were made for me.”
He tugged your hair tighter as you felt the hilt hit the back of your throat, and you thought to yourself how much It would’ve hurt if you weren’t otherwise drunk with bliss. You buried him deep inside you, holding him with both hands, sobbing on him with such anguish that people would assume you hadn’t been fed for days. 
Joshua’s pretty lips got caught in his pretty teeth, and the darkness in his eyes deepened to a richer, more intense black as a sense of reckless abandon enveloped him. “God…look at you…good little slut like you likes taking cock like mine, doesn’t she?”
The sensation of your mouth massaged him heavenly, having you taste the heady tang of his skin on your tongue while your nose tickled against his groin. He clutched your head, your whimpers and cries pulsating around his girth, fucking your mouth until you hit the base. You looked up, pliant and willing, as tears swelled in your eyes, cheeks hot to the touch, and a thick sheen of slobber over your lips. 
You’re precious. And his. All his.
He pried either of your hands off him and restrained them above your head, carrying the weight of his control in his hips, crushing your mouth against his lap. While one hand had stabilized your wrists, the other back fell back in your hair, fucking your pretty mouth until he couldn’t anymore.
Joshua felt his name muffled around his cock, staring back at you as you repeated his name, desperation echoing from your throat, but not to stop–oh no, he recognized this stare. He held you towards him, cutting your airways with hardly a second to breathe. Your eyes fluttered. Pupils began to roll to the back of your head as his cock slid down your throat, bottoming out inside you for the first time.
“You want my cum, don’t you? You’re so damn obvious you do,” he taunted in an unfamiliar tone, foreign to you but nonetheless welcome.
You hummed confirmation around the girth, practically whining with full cheeks.
“Angel, you know what it means when I do, right?” he loomed over you, as your mouth was still pressed against him in an abrupt halt, still tasting all of him. “Do you understand what you’re getting into? The second I cum inside you–mouth or cunt–you’re mine. Are you ready for that responsibility?”
You nodded, impatience singeing your tongue.
“Really?” The fingers threaded through your hair pulled you off, giving you the sharpest intake of oxygen before you fell right back where you belonged with a slam. The pain in your throat caused it to go hoarse, and the tears once swelling in your eyes streamed down your face. “You better mean it, darling. Words aren’t just a promise to me; they’re a vow.”
His final thrusts were steady but harsh, pressing his size inside of you until you gagged, and finally, when he was merciful, you felt his hot stream coat your throat. His hips found their falter, plunging in and out of you–the cum dribbling down your chin until he finally let you go, prying you off him and giving you a moment of rest sprawled on the coffee table.
But only a moment.
His hands wordlessly caressed you, body drained from release, but mind hungry for your essence. Every word he’s ever said in this exchange, he’s meant with every fiber of his being, down to his very core.
“Tired, darling? We’re only getting started.”
You softly chuckled, a tired smile reappearing for the first time in a while. “I’m in for a lot with you, aren’t I?” you asked, strain evident in your voice.
“You’re asking that question far too little too late, Angel.”
His lips puckered to met yours in a gentle kiss, then another, then another. You held him against you, not minding how disheveled you looked with your pulled hair and mascara streaks staining your cheeks, it was your turn. 
Joshua found your body easily in your liplock, gliding his hands up and down your body in rushed motions as if memorizing you by touch. Your dips, your curves, your angles. There wasn’t one part of you he dared to miss. And you smiled, you chuckled, so lust blind to see the symptoms forming before your very eyes as if they weren’t already there. He swallowed your laughter, tasting victory on your tongue, and nuzzled in the crook of your lips. “Can I do the things I'm willing to do for you–what I’m willing to do to you?”
You cupped his face, an impish grin on your face. “Stop asking and fuck me like you love me, Joshua.”
Gladly. 
He held either of your legs at his side, fingers aligning your folds and splitting in half. If they didn’t already look big, they most certainly felt big. A single digit only traced along your slit, and your hips buckled, fluttering at the sliver of taste. 
“I’ve barely grazed you, and you’re like a flood down there,” he quietly teased, pushing in his index halfway. 
You clenched around him, then around nothing, and he repeated, effortlessly stealing your breath with every move. You anchored yourself to the edge of the table. “You know exactly why, Josh.” You whimpered.
He then pushes in the full digit–reaching deeper than you expected–and you convulse around him. Your head snapped back, the phantom strings of Joshua’s nasty habits–already acquainted with your body–pulling you in without warning. “Oh my god.”
“You’re so easy to please. As if I know everything about your body without you telling me.” He thrusted his finger, cultivating a rhythm he knew would be perfect for his little darling.
“It’s as if…we’ve known each other forever.” You stated in your countless, staggered breaths.
“Forever…” he plunged another finger, feeling you flutter around him delightfully, “with you?”
His smile, that unsettling perfect smile, pressed a tender kiss against your lips. “I rather like that. Me and you. Forever.”
You quietly laughed before tugging him into a deeper liplock, gently slotting your finger through his hair, not worried about ruining its pristine as you pulled him closer. “I’ll take you and me forever.”
“Now, angel–” you took the hand he had inside you to guide him faster, deeper, your language becoming gasps and moans in a matter of seconds.
He didn’t bother finishing his thought, too enraptured by your demanding hunger, that he pressed on further, feeding you his digits as you swallowed each one by one. His thumb caressed your pulsating bud for extra good measure, taking pleasure at how often you shake when he does, and rammed his fingers deeper in you, finally hearing what his name sounds like in a state of bliss.
He’s overcome with pride–nay–overcome with triumph. The way you look at him with such an utterly lewd expression, your delicious scent a thick film on your body that he couldn’t help but want to lick and devour and engorge. He didn’t need to have another orgasm for another second if it meant seeing you come apart the way you were right now. 
“Joshua!” you cried, body shaking as if you were glitching, having an out-of-body experience, and you undid yourself the way he did: utterly and perfectly euphoric.
You creamed his digits with nectar, milky and fair, and he didn’t wait a second for them to enter his mouth, knuckles deep. His eyes fell shut from elation, moaning around his hands, and he caught even the slightest drop down his wrists. 
You were fucking–
“Magnificent.” He swallowed your lips once more, hungrily, arousal rushing down to his body again. “Perfect, my sweet little angel.”
“...forever. Me and you.” You repeated, not getting pass the conversation that was interrupted what felt like a millennia ago. “I’ll take you for forever. And that’s a vow for me, too.”
Joshua never expected this, such a scene of ease and pristine, seeing his future lie limp and happy and fucked. You had never looked so beautiful. After all the men you’ve met, all the bodies you’ve collided with, all the dicks you’ve sucked, you always had a glow. It’s why he tolerated such things, but to see that glow after him. It was the most radiating version of you. And to know you’ll have him. He was the happiest man alive.
“Oh, my darling.” He pulled you up from the table to sit you back in his lap, parting away your hair to clearly see your face smiling back at him even with the fatigue. “You are the most perfect thing.” he shook his head in disbelief, unsure how he got so lucky.
“Let me take you to bed, hmm?”
You quietly nodded, admiring him back all the same.
You wrapped your legs around him tightly, before lifting you both up from the ground and walked into his bedroom–just as unnervingly neat as his living room. Or should you say how neat it was. The bedroom presented its same beige aura, hardly a spec of dust in place, but the one extraordinary thing about it was the light casting from the window, beckoning over the entire city. 
The second Joshua tossed your naked body on his bed, you immediately got back up, pressing your palms to the window to gaze down upon everyone through it. “You can actually see everything from up here! Wow.”
You heard Joshua chuckle behind you with his footsteps towards you to follow. “You like it, Angel?”
“It’s beautiful.” The glint in your eyes sparkled brighter than any star above you. “I’ve lived here almost my whole life and I’ve never seen it like this. I can even see my house from here! That's crazy.”
Joshua let out an indistinguishable scoff, immediately covering his mouth before coming behind you, his hand settling on your hips. “I got lucky with the lease. Best I’ve ever seen. I never thought to appreciate this view, but now I have a reason to.” 
His kiss bloomed a familiar warmth across your face, and you leaned into his embrace, taking his arms around you as you shared the impeccable view. The city lights illuminated the streets, their people, their livelihood, and you never would’ve imagined seeing it if you hadn’t found Joshua’s address. 
You belonged here somehow, as if it was meant for you. It truly did feel special. Joshua made it special.
You brushed your backside to his groin, feeling something already prod your side and you swore you felt yourself purr. Bodies still connected, you leaned into the glass, knee digging into the cushions of the window nook. Joshua followed after you knowingly, hand pawing your thigh as his lips drew to your ear, nipping at the tips. 
Your moan, deliciously loud, was all the signal Joshua needed to keep going. He mouthed against your neck, one hand crawling over your chest and another reclaiming your sensitive heat. You doubled over slightly, palming and smearing your fingerprints into the flawlessly clear glass, its chill not disrupting the heat festering your body in the slightest. 
Joshua had your body thrum in reaction to his fingers, hips wriggling to his touch, and he heightened the strokes on your already throbbing heat. “Josh, please.”
He groaned into the crook of your neck, the outline of his erect cock distinctly recognizable against your lower back. “I want to show whoever’s watching what you’ve done to me, Angel.” he slammed his fingers upright inside you before returning to his regulated pace. “Show what pretty little slut you become when you’re within reach of me.”
“Anything, Josh, anything. Anything for you to fuck me.”
He snickered, an empty darkness echoing inside the tone. “You asked for it.”
His body slammed up against you, hungrily biting along your skin as he nestled his cock between your slit as he entered. You sooner realized how fingers did his size no justice as they filled your cunt with strain. Your ass perked up behind him, not a moment longer before you were forced to adjust to his size with full thrust, holding you by your neck as his other arm cuffed you by your elbows.
“Holy shit,” you gasped, falling and bouncing back against him as his raw cock took you demandingly.
“This pussy,” he growled, his hand striking the full shape of your ass cheek where it still stung, “I’ve dreamt of this pussy.”
He buried himself in you, hitting the hilt deep with your core to the point your vision flickered back to your skull. Your legs parted wide, backing yourself against him until you were accepting every inch. “Fuck that feels so fucking good, don’t fucking stop.”
“Yeah? My slutty angel likes my cock pounding into her pretty pussy?”
“Yes, please, Josh, please give it to me. I love how you give it to me so good.”
“You beg like that,” he gritted his teeth. “I’ll have to properly deliver.”
You looked back at him and smiled, hair falling over your face and his thrusts made you a vision of lust, somehow gracefully breathtaking with his cock buried deep inside you. “You and me forever, right? Don’t stop now.”
Joshua was throbbing, practically beaming at your answer, and before you knew it, your chest was greeted with the frost-bitten window, now flattening against your breasts. Groaning upon impact, the tempered glass tensed your nipples, bringing them both to a hard point, now freezing and pebbling you from your arms to your legs. 
Joshua’s body pinned you in place, and you felt his unnerving arousal slide up and down between your cheeks and pushing back up inside you. “I’ll show just how much you’re mine to the world.” His voice was still gentle yet demanding. “Only because you asked for it.”
His flat palm struck you again, pushing up your body and letting the echoes of your collision play in surround sound. Your body, already sore from earlier, knew no rest as you took him deeper, the cold intensifying the pleasure rushing through your body. Your hips swiveled, playing with his cock like a personal toy, and you braced the window in front of you willingly, blasting on an indefinite high.
“Thinking about how someone can see you up here?” He whispered. “Taking my cock like the precious little angel you are? Or letting me fuck you like the nasty fucking slut you are?”
You gingerly nodded, hugging the glass desperately to feel him deeper inside you.“Yes—fuck—I want someone to see us. The thought gets me so wet.”
“So vocal, angel,” he tugged the back of your head, devouring your lips. “My dirty little angel.”
He held your arms behind you, pressing your whole torso against the window, and every snap of his waist had you bending more and more to his will. Every inch of his body had you flushed against him, feeling him present you to the world below like a goddamn masterpiece.
His body slammed again, shaking the glass and flickering fear into your eyes briefly before he reassured you by catching your waist in his hands. “Scared?”
“A little,” you stammered.
“I’ve got you, angel. Just enjoy it.”
And you did, endlessly as his pace picked up again, and by the number of times he’s pushed you, flipped you, rammed you against the window, you were no longer scared of falling through. The fragility of the glass was no longer of concern. You had Joshua to distract you from the life-threatening circumstances with every inch of his being.  You had Joshua to protect you from the infinite possibilities of something were to go wrong with the window in front of you shattering. You had Joshua to feel safe no matter how scared and unsure you were. You had Joshua.
Joshua. Joshua. Joshua.
“Joshua, you’re gonna make me cum,” you mewled in his lap. Your ass took its turn to be displayed as your flesh pressed against the thick glass, bouncing on his cock that stiffened up to no bounds inside you.
“Are you? Your pretty pussy is gonna come all over my cock?” His voice now rushed, heightened, signaling how ready he was to burst like fucking dam.
Your nod carried urgency, your hands clasping against his face in desperate pleas, admiring that face you’ve grown fond of, how you could see both light and darkness in them, filling you to the brim with an inexplicable euphoria that you craved with everybody you’ve ever encountered. “I want it. I want to come all over your cock and feel you come inside me too…Make me feel so good so full.”
“Yeah,” he moaned, hand threading through your hair tightly, you hummed in confirmation, bouncing harder as you dared take him by his full length. “This the best cock you ever had? The best one to put my hot cum inside you.”
“Yes,” you gasped. “No one else…no one else can fuck me like you like this. I want you to fill me with all your hot cum.”
“S-shit,” he cried, tugging your back by the wrists, and fucking up into you, the window behind you christened with your sweat and slick arousal.
He ached to cover all his bases, pounding you to malleable dough, he filled your walls with his oozing determination, and his screams of release followed when he shot his promise inside you. His hips faltered in deep, thorough pumps, claiming your body in his hands with intense anguish as he inhaled your skin in his tight, unwavering embrace.
You felt the warmth inside and out of you, like a rapid stream of water—only more viscous and rewarding as your hips bucked, twitching in Joshua’s locking hold, hardly breathing with the way he held you. You wrapped around him just as tight, letting go of him the last thing on your mind and savoring the trembling descent of your peaks.
There are then only sounds of your exchanged breathing, slowly coming down to Earth. 
He lowered his forearms, bracing you from your lower back, and carefully lifted you from the nook to carefully lay you against his bed that felt like heaven enveloping your body. He crawled on top of you still, descending lingering kisses all along your body before his lips reached your tired heat, not even thinking of pleasuring you but doing it anyway as he lapped up the final remnants of tonight’s events.
His hums were pleasant vibration, wordlessly tasting every ounce of cum—yours or his, it didn’t matter—and swallowing it like a full meal, gently caressing your swollen clit. He couldn’t have enough of you, letting the brain fog control him until you started screaming in pleasure again.
You had to pull him by threads of his hair to stop, overstimulated by his unwavering hunger, and for a second that darkness was back in his eyes the deepest you had ever seen until they softened in concern, his grip loosening. “You okay?” he wafted in with concern.
“Yeah, it felt good, I just…you’re gonna kill me,” you lightly joked.
He softly laughed, leveraging him up and facing chest to chest with you, devouring your lips with that lingering tang of dominance still on his tongue. “Never…” he whispered with a smile, before he inhaled you for a moment longer, swallowing your moans, caressing your body.
He finally found his self-restraint and let you rest, offering to run a warm bath in the hallway bathroom. You turned to him, taking his hand in gratitude. “That would be really nice.”
“I’ll start one up for you.” 
As he leaves, you sink into the bed, reveling in the sheets worn from your presence, and hear the water run in another room, smelling of the clean seat of soap, and nothing has ever felt so right.
“I’ll carry you,” he stated before picking you up from your neck and back to your knees into the bathroom that was another vision of perfection, lit candles marking your path. 
You gushed in disbelief, your body finally dipping to the perfect temperature as you were surrounded with rose petals and bubbles. Almost as if he planned this. Like he knew what to do and how to exactly do it.
“How is it?” He asked, hospitality being of second nature. “Warm enough? Water deep enough?”
You gripped the edge of the tub to gaze back at him, bent down to meet your level with a soft, adoring smile as the water splashed against you soothed your aching body. “Who are you, Joshua Hong?”
He snickered, kissing the top of your head without answer. “I’m gonna let you be on your own for a moment, to really give your rest and after I clean up outside, maybe I’ll join you. Just…don’t go anywhere.”
You nodded, initiating a chaste kiss on his lips. “I won't.”
“Good girl.” His smile had never gotten so big, kissing you back with double the force before he got up to leave.
“Leave the door open,” you requested, “just in case you wanted…a nice image welcoming you back.”
“Alright,” he said, eyes lingering on your state before finally taking his leave.
Joshua had his fun in the sun, clinging to every second of this perfect night, but he needed to clean up one more thing before it could truly end perfectly. The kitchen, if you could see it, was clean and pristine as the rest of the house goddamn near was until you helped him wreck it, except one thing just of place.
He glanced at the hunting knife in the sink, carelessly rinsed after he didn’t think he had time to properly clean in your company. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, realizing how long the metal had soaked in the water. He reached into the cabinet for cleaning supplies, his mind racing.
Dousing a rag with isopropyl, he carefully wiped every surface, hoping no streaks were left on the metal, almost failing to notice the blood ironically staining the stainless steel of his sink, to which he scrubbed and scrubbed with conviction. He couldn’t help but be grateful for your lack of awareness, the thought of entering your kitchen not crossing your mind a moment this entire visit. It’s why he loved you. You didn’t ask unnecessary questions. You kept to yourself for the most part despite your rendevous. And you weren’t trouble. he couldn’t wait to return to you. His perfectly oblivious angel.
Meanwhile, you soaked in the water, smelling its essential oil and lathering up the bubbles on your body. In the corner of your eye, a door catches your attention, having not noticed it since entering the apartment. The only door with a keypadlock that seemed to require a code, protecting whatever’s inside or keeping whoever unwanted out. Your thoughts lingered for a moment, wondering what he wanted to keep hidden from plain sight. Hobbies? Priceless items? Murder weapons? Your mind spiraled through every possibility, leaving an itch you couldn’t quite reach to scratch.
But before another second passes, you’re reunited with the man who’s been consuming your thoughts, a smile of relief returning to your face.
“Hi, everything good down there?” You gazed back up at him.
“Yeah, sorry I took so long,” he sighed, the weight on his shoulders palpable until the tension eased away as he slid into the tub beside you.
You moved closer, collapsing into his chest and nuzzling against him, the warmth of his embrace far better than any hot bath. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
His hand gently stroked the back of your head, smoothing the damp tendrils on your shoulders as he glanced down at you, then at the mirror reflecting your intertwined bodies. The image before him was a vision of what the rest of his life would look like. As he correctly foretold. As he meticulously planned. Everything falling into place.
“Me too.”
Your eyes still flickered toward the door with the keypad, curiosity gnawing at you, but you pushed it aside. Whatever was hidden behind that door no longer mattered. Joshua was all that mattered now. You were irrevocably his, as he was irrevocably yours. 
Whatever secrets he had, he could keep them.
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cressidagrey · 2 months ago
Text
Stars all aligned - Chapter 7
Summary:
If there was one thing that both Azriel and Zahra Archeron had in common, it was that they were both very good at blending into the background.
They just never thought that their family were going to be the ones who never saw them at all.
Warning:
I'll keep the warnings, even though there is no outright mention in this part: Bashing of like...every IC member? Especially the Archeron Sisters, discussion of chronic pain, discussion of Infertility, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Underage Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault
If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please, take care of your own mental health and don't read it.
(Lovely dividers thanks to @sweetmelodygraphics)
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"I want you out of Velaris, when I have a talk with them," Azriel broached the topic a few days later. Zahra just stared at him.
"I have nowhere else to go," she said drily. 
She had the cottage and that was it. And her tries at winnowing…let’s just say she did not trust herself to winnow anywhere she didn’t know very well. 
Azriel’s face was unreadable, but there was a tension in his shoulders, a tightness in his wings.
He was clearly on edge...but then, he had been for quite a while, whenever the topic of their family came up. 
Whenever she told him about her life in the cottage and later as a maid at the Archeron Estate…he had looked murderous.
"I have a small cottage by the sea you can...stay in," Azriel suggested softly.
Zahra just stared at him. "You have a cottage by the sea," she echoed, amused besides herself.
Azriel moved to stand behind her, where she was washing dishes in the sink and he pressed a kiss against her cheek.
"I am just paranoid," he promised her. "Nothing bad will happen...But I would feel better if you are out of the city, if I get into a fight with Cassian and accidentally level it."
"That's not funny," she told him drily, but bit back a smile, especially as she leaned back against his broad chest, the dishes forgotten in the soapy water in the sink.
"At the coast?" she asked him softly. The coast sounded…nice.
"Rosehall," he explained. "It's...It's where my mother lives."
"Your mother?" she echoed, surprised.
Azriel nodded, his hands resting on her hips as he leaned down and buried his face in her neck.
"I bought it for her a long time ago," he murmured as his lips brushed against her skin. "It's...right there by a little hamlet we turned into a haven for displaced Illyrians. You can stay there...just until my brothers get the stick out of their asses and come to their senses."
Zahra let out a snort of laughter. “Sure, I will just wait around until your brothers come to their senses,” she said with a little smile, turning around and reaching up to brush away the stray strands of his dark hair from his forehead. “And how long do you think that is going to take?”
"Not long," he promised her. "And then I'll get started on your sisters," he promised her, pressing a kiss against her forehead and Zahra melted.
She loved the easy attention, the sweet little forehead kisses he dished out to her so often, nearly absentmindedly. The touch of his hands on hers…
She loved the way he smiled at her...just at her.
And yet…and yet she couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt at the mention of her sisters, even if she tried her best not to let it show.
“You are so sure of yourself,” she teased him, trying to keep her voice light as she rested her hands on his chest.
Azriel just smiled down at her, the expression in his eyes gentle, his wing shifting to wrap around her body as he pulled her against the hardness of his chest.
“We’ll get things figured out,” he murmured as one large hand moved up to run through her braid, smoothing back some of the messier strands. “You don’t need to worry.”
“You sound so confident,” she said, a smile playing on her lips despite herself as she took a moment to admire his handsome face, so close to hers.
His smile was a rare sight, his features so often schooled into a careful mask of neutrality, but as she studied his face she could see the warmth in his dark eyes, and she loved the way his lips curled up in their corners so slightly.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you are arrogant.”
He chuckled at that, and the low sound of his laughter vibrated through his chest.
“Are you calling me arrogant?” he asked, his wings shifting around them again, pulling her just a little bit closer to his body, the powerful muscles of those wings pressing against her back.
“Yes, I think I am,” she said with a smile, tilting her head up to look at him, her eyes flicking between the different shadows on his face.
His gaze held hers for a long moment, the corner of his lips still curled up, a teasing expression in his dark eyes.
“Arrogant and overconfident and insufferable,” she added jokingly and she felt the rumble of a silent laugh in his chest.
"Don't worry," he repeated. "It will be fine," he promised her evenly.
Zahra wished she only had one bit of his confidence
“And if it’s not?” she asked him quietly.
The tension was back in his shoulders, in the hands that were still resting on her hips.
His whole body grew taut in that second but his voice was even as he spoke. “This isn’t the first time we are having a heated disagreement. They’ll get over it.”
“Maybe,” she agreed grudgingly.
But something inside of her didn’t feel so sure, and her stomach was tied into knots at the thought of her sisters catching wind of what was going on between her and Azriel.
Still, if it calmed him...she filled a bag with clothing and toiletries, not that she owned much, and locked the door of her cottage after herself, just as Azriel offered her his hand...and then she dragged him to one of the flower stalls in the city, because she was not going to show up to meet his mother empty-handed.
“Flowers?” Azriel asked her, a smirk on his face as he looked at her with that amused look in his eyes.
She shot him a glare. “I am not going to pay a visit to your mother without carrying anything, and I don’t own a single bottle of wine, so flowers will have to suffice.”
He just shook his head at her, a look of exasperated fondness on his face as he let her lead him towards a stall with a colorful display and an array of wildflowers.
Flowers acquired, Zahra was ready to go to Rosehall.  
"It's going to feel different than winnowing," Azriel warned her. "Just hold onto me."
Zahra just squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fingers around his...and a second later, she could taste sea salt in the air and feel icy illyrian air on her skin.
Even when summer had already arrived in Velaris, the same couldn’t be said here. 
The icy cold air was a shock to her system as she was suddenly assaulted by the brutal cold, the sharp wind and the thick cloud cover.
Zahra stumbled on her feet as her knees nearly buckled from under her and she found herself clinging instinctively to Azriel’s arm, trying to find her footing as she took in her surroundings, blinking as the cold air was slapping against her face.
It was icy there.
She’d known that the coast was chilly, but she was not prepared for that kind of cold.
“You didn’t mention it was this cold,” Zahra said through chattering teeth.
"Let's get you inside," Azriel said quickly, pulling her from the forest where they had appeared, towards a grey stone cottage, nestled in the harsh terrain. If she stood on her tiptoes, she could just see the sea down over the cliffs...a couple more houses dotted around, as Azriel pulled her towards the one with smoke happily puffing out of the chimney.
Zahra had no chance to truly study it, before Azriel was pushing the door open wide and ushered her into the house.
The air inside was warm, a heavy sort of warmth that made it clear a fire had been lighting for a while in the stone fireplace that stood in one of the corners of the room.
Zahra was so relieved to get out of the biting chill of the air and she was about to take a look around, when a voice startled her. 
"Azriel?" A  female’s voice called, and just a moment later she appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. 
For one moment Zahra was struck by how young she looked. If Zahra hadn't known better, she would have thought this was Azriel's sister and not his mother. 
The dark hair, braided and pinned to her head, the same hazel brown eyes... the planes of her face were different though. Azriel must resemble his father more than her. But she was beautiful...even with a vicious, gnarly scar that destroyed the left side of her face.
“Hello, Ma,” Azriel said warmly. 
"And you brought a guest," she said with a smile as her eyes settled on Zahra, studying her.
Zahra shifted, feeling suddenly very self-conscious and nervous, especially as the woman's eyes, so much like Azriel's, slowly appraised her from head to toe.
Azriel just stepped closer to her and placed his hand on the small of her back.
"Ma, I'd like you to meet Zahra Archeron, my Mate. Zahra, my mother Esmeray," he introduced them and a smile stretched over Esmeray's face, so bright and beautiful that her scar was forgotten. Surprised but…pleased.
​​Esmeray's eyes filled up with tears and she made a quick move forward, that nearly made Zahra flinch, but then she had already wrapped her arms around Zahra's shoulders, pulling her into a tight bear hug that nearly had Zahra stumbling from her feet again.
She got a whiff of a scent that had the same fresh and clean scent of Mist that Azriel must have inherited from her. 
"Your Mate!" Esmeray exclaimed, as she pulled back and beamed at Zahra. "I'd given up hope of him ever finding his Mate,” she told Zahra conspiratorially. “But here you are!” 
Azriel rubbed the back of his neck in that familiar nervous gesture, a slight flush in his face and a small smile on his lips.
Zahra, meanwhile, was still struck dumbfounded and all she could do was to give Esmeray a weak smile, when the female suddenly let go of her and turned to her son.
"I cannot believe it!" Esmeray said, her voice nearly a whisper, as she threw her arms around Azriel's neck.
He looked stiff for a moment, like he wasn’t quite used to being hugged, but then a smile appeared on his face and he relaxed in her embrace as he hugged her back.
She pulled back a few seconds later, still smiling up at him, her eyes wide, before she turned back to Zahra.
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Zahra said quickly, as the woman's attention turned back to her.
Esmeray's smile only grew bright. "The pleasure is all mine. But look at me, I am being a terrible host," she said, before she took a step back and gestured towards the chairs around the fireplace. "Come, please sit down."
"I brought flowers," Zahra said hesitantly.
Esmeray's attention fell on the flowers and another smile appeared on her face. "How thoughtful," she said, a soft edge in her voice. "Such a sweet girl. But you didn't need to do that."
"She insisted," Azriel said drily.
That just made Esmeray chuckle, a sound that filled the room, warm and low.
“She has very good manners,” Esmeray told her son drily as she stepped to the small table to search for a vase.
Azriel just shot Zahra a little smile as he guided her to one of the chairs around the fire, and pulled out one of the chairs for her to sit down.
Zahra shot him a thankful look, even as her mind was still processing the fact that she had just met his mother. His lovely, kindhearted mother.
Zahra couldn't remember her own mother. At least not really. And Mrs. Archeron…she had hated the very air Zahra breathed. But Esmeray...
Azriel must have caught the look in her eyes, because he gave her an encouraging smile as he sat down beside her and took her hand in his.
His mother soon turned from the kitchen, the vase of wildflowers clutched in her hands as she set in on the table.
“They’ll look lovely on the windowsill,” she said as she took a seat at the table, that smile still on her face as she regarded them.
Zahra bit her lower lip. She had no idea how to handle this kind of situation. So much warmth inside this little house, so much love...she could feel the energy rolling off of Esmeray in waves.
Azriel squeezed her hand, his expression soft, as his mother observed them intently.
"So," Esmeray said a few seconds later, her eyebrows raising slightly. "You found your  Mate."
Azriel inclined his head. 
Zahra shifted uncomfortably in her chair, her stomach tying into all kinds of knots, as his mother's eyes moved between her and her son.
"You want to tell me the rest of what is going on?" Esmeray asked, her voice softer now. "I can see it on your face."
"I need to get back," Azriel said quietly. "Can Zahra stay with you for the night?"
"What happened?" Esmeray asked. "And of course, she can stay with me. What kind of question is that?" She said with a snort. “She’s your mate, she’s always welcome here.”
"We have a few...family problems," Azriel said drily. "I imagine that Rhysand will be ill-pleased with the mating bond snapping and her sisters are...being...difficult."
That was the understatement of the century.
Zahra sat there, shifting awkwardly in her seat as he spoke, but his mother’s attention remained on Azriel.
“Rhysand will get over himself, you know that,” Esmeray said with a shrug, as though waving away a minor inconvenience. "He always does, and he’s smart in many ways."
Azriel smiled at that, but the shadows in his eyes told a different story.
“And the sisters?” Esmeray asked.
There was a pause, then Azriel shifted uncomfortably. "They’re...adjusting," he said, his voice carefully level, his fingers tightening around Zahra’s.
"I am only their half sister," Zahra said carefully. "I am their father's bastard daughter."
Esmeray mustered her with dark eyes. "You do not need to say more," she said drily. “I can imagine the rest.”
It was strange how a feeling of acceptance washed over her at Esmeray’s words and Zahra stared at the female, speechless for a second before she got her bearings.
“You are not bothered by that?” she asked, the words slipping out before she could think about them, her voice shaking. 
Esmeray let out a little scoff. “Of course not. Why would I be?”
The female picked up a cup of the table and took a sip of from it, those dark eyes studying Zahra with a sort of intensity to them. "I gave birth to a bastard myself," Esmeray said, her voice even. "I can probably imagine better than most what exactly your mother went through...what you went through. I would hope that you were treated better than my son, but if your sisters are being difficult about a mating bond for you...I imagine that hope is without reason."
Zahra swallowed, hard. Her throat felt dry all of a sudden, as an aching sort of feeling settled over her at Esmeray's words. The same sort of aching that appeared whenever she thought of her own mother.
She didn't want to think about the past, about any of that, especially not here, in this house filled with warmth and welcome and an overwhelming sense of acceptance.
Esmeray must have sensed her turmoil, because a soft smile appeared on her face. “You are safe here, Zahra,” she said quietly. “I would never judge you for the failings of your parents. Or for what you yourself may have done in a bid to simply survive.”
Zahra just swallowed. There was a lump in her throat and all she could do was to nod, not trusting her voice. Somehow she felt...strangely stripped down. Like Esmeray could see straight through every mask she put up. She wondered how much she had simple picked up on by meeting her for a few minutes.
It was too much, and she had to look away, because she didn't feel like she could handle the kindness in Esmeray's words.
"But enough of that," Esmeray said after a moment's pause. "Do you like cooking? I was going to make some beef jerky."
"I do like cooking," Zahra agreed with a smile.
“Then come into the kitchen when you have seen Azriel off,” Esmeray said simply. 
She got up gracefully and made her way to the kitchen and Zahra was left staring at her in awe for a few seconds before she felt Azriel's hand squeeze hers again.
He met her gaze and her heart gave a lurch at the shadows in those eyes and the look on his face. "Are you going to be okay here?" he asked softly.
"Please be careful," she blurted out.
Azriel just smiled at her, the look in his eyes turning soft at her words as he pulled her a little closer. "I will be," he said softly. "And I will be back as soon as I can. I promise."
He leaned towards her and pressed his lips against her forehead, lingering for a few seconds, his hand curling over the side of her face. He inhaled, taking in the scent of her hair, and Zahra leaned into the touch.
She wanted...no...she...she needed...she caught his face in her hand, gently stroking his cheek, and then tipped up her chin.
If...If gods forbid...if...She wanted to feel this. At least once. She wanted....
Azriel froze underneath her touch for half a second, then he seemed to realize what she was going to do and a smile appeared on his face.
He chuckled, the sound a soft thing that made her heart flutter, before he leaned down and captured her lips with his.
Zahra let her eyes flutter shut at the feel of his lips against hers, the kiss gentle and soft as he ran his thumb along the curve of her jaw, still holding her steady. For just a moment, all that existed was Azriel.
He gently cupped her face in his hands like she was something fragile and breakable, and then he pulled back, gently pressing his forehead against hers and taking a deep breath.
Gods, Zahra wanted nothing more than just...stay. Right there at his side.
"Nothing will happen," he promised her. "I swear."
"I know," she breathed, opening her eyes to look at him.
He swallowed at the look in her eyes, then he smiled softly. "I will see you soon," Azriel said, the words a promise and a vow all at once.
***​​
Feyre couldn’t get her mind of it.
She couldn’t.
The idea was running through her head on constant repeat.
Over and over, the thoughts just kept circling her mind.
As she lay in bed with Rhys, as she went about her day, as the sun rose and then set, over and over, she just couldn’t seem to get her mind off…off one simple question.
Had Zarah actually had an affair with a married man…or had it been something far worse than that?
She couldn’t get that question out of her head. And so she twisted and turned that night as well, until she finally turned to face Rhys.
He still slept, blissfully unaware of her tossing and turning, of the heavy feeling in her chest. Slowly, she ran her fingers over his features, watching the way he slept. Peaceful and relaxed, a sight that usually made something clench in her chest.
He was everything she had ever wanted. She wished Zahra would have the same one day.
But right now….the sight only made the thoughts in her head whirl faster.
This was her mate, the male she was completely and utterly in love with. And she knew, without a doubt, that he would never…he would never force himself on a female. Would never touch a female for any other reason than mutual consent and desire.
But there were other males out there…males who…who didn’t share the same feelings as Rhys. Males who would see a female trapped in a situation th ast had been…dire like Zahra’s, and see it as nothing more than….than an opportunity.
She thought back to these years trapped in the cottage. Thought back to Zahra cooking and cleaning…
Thought about the long hours spent in the kitchen, mending and cooking…
Thought about the bony and skinny girl with the messy dark braid…these green eyes, the way she stayed quiet and in the corner, never raising her voice, never drawing attention to herself.
Feyre had never seen her disappear but then Feyre had often been off in the forest.
She wouldn’t have really noticed the times Zahra snuck off. She’d been so tired after her hunts, too focused on staying alive and keeping her family alive to pay attention to the things going on around her. Had her sister…had she…had she been meeting someone?
Had she snuck out to meet with…with a male?
Had her sister…had Zahra had an affair with that apothecary?
She tired to remember him…tried to remember the long suffering wife of his…her ash blond hair pulled back from her face, their gaggle of three kids…all of them wide eyed and quiet.
He was one of the richer man in the village…with beady eyes and hair struck through with grey…
She remembered the way he’d leer at females who came into his shop for supplies, the way he would look at them as if they were a piece of meat to be bought.
She could remember the way he'd sneer at poor female who'd come in, bartering and scrounging for every copper coin they had, and the way he'd look so smug when he charged them for every little thing…
Zahra had had an affair with him?
There was nothing attractive about him.
Feyre had always hated the way he’d leered at her. The way he'd looked at her as if she was a piece of meat.
There was nothing about him that was appealing in any way.
He was old, cold, calculating and cruel. And to think that a young, pretty female like Zahra…who, despite the way she tried to dress to blend in, was still gorgeous, would have anything to do with him…
Rhys stirred, his face scrunching up in a frown and his eyes slowly blinked open.
Violet eyes met hers, and Feyre forced herself to push her worries aside.
“What’s wrong?” Rhys’s voice was heavy with sleep, his words slow and mumbled.
Feyre let out a shaky breath, running her fingers through his black hair, trying to calm her thoughts.
“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head. “Go back to sleep.”
Rhys grumbled, shifting his head to bury his face into her neck, making a sound of disagreement from deep in his throat.
His arms wrapped around her middle, pulling her tightly against his side.
“Something’s on your mind, Feyre Darling,” he mumbled against her neck, planting a kiss on the skin there. “I can tell.”
“Did you ever…did you ever get anything from Zahra’s mind about…” Feyre trailed off.
A beat of silence fell, and Rhys’s breath against her neck paused, his body stilling against hers.
A long moment passed, before Rhys inhaled, pulling his head back to look at her. “No,” he finally said. “But then…I never even tried to get into her head. She’s as bad as Nesta. Even trying to look at her shields is like staring at a brick wall.”
“But you’ve never looked?” Feyre pushed on, looking into his eyes. Searching for something, anything, any hint of deception.
Rhys’s face softened, a small smile on his face. “The only thing I ever got from Zahra, as a human,  was protectiveness about you, Darling,” he said drily.
A small exhale left Feyre at his words, and she fell back against the pillows.
Rhys shifted, rolling over to lie half on top of her, propping his head on his folded arms that he rested on her stomach. A soft smile on his face. “Is that what’s keeping you up?” he wondered aloud. “Worries about Zahra?”
“I…I need to know if…why she did it,” Feyre said weakly. “I can’t…Zahra would have never taken the risk of having a bastard born child herself, Rhys. Not when she knew exactly how…how that life was. Living in two worlds and belonging to neither,” Feyre said with a grimace.
Rhys’s eyes softened at that, and his fingers ghosted over her stomach, tracing small, gentle patterns. “You’re worried that it wasn’t a choice,” he filled in.
“I don’t know,” Feyre whispered. “I can’t see her…I can’t see her do it willingly but I am wrecking my head and I can’t…if he hurt her…she hid it so well.”
Rhys’s face darkened at her words. It wasn’t hard to see the same thoughts circling in his mind, the same anger and disgust.
“You think the apothecary might have forced himself on her?” he asked quietly, a hard look on his face.
Feyre felt a pit in her stomach at the question. Felt nausea creeping up, bile rising in the back of her throat. The idea of something so…so vile happening to a young, innocent girl…it filled her with horror and sickened her.
“I…I don’t know,” she whispered. “But I can’t… I just can’t see her… taking that risk willingly. She’s too smart for that.”
"Maybe you should try to talk to her," Rhys said carefully. "But Feyre...if she...if she didn't do it willingly...if she had a reason for it, be it she was forced or she did it in exchange for something...she may not want to talk about it," he warned her.
She could see it on his face...could see the memories that she had…
“I…I know,” Feyre said softly. “If…if it’s true, she might not want to talk about it. But…I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it. I need to know. And if it’s true...I can’t just sit back and do nothing."
Rhys was quiet for a moment, his fingers still tracing small patterns on her stomach.
His face was taut, “And if she truly has had an affair with him…willingly?” he asked quietly.
Feyre let out a shaky breath, closing her eyes. The thought of that being true…it just didn’t seem possible.
She just couldn’t see Zahra doing something like that. Not when she was so well aware of what would happen if she made such a mistake.
It just didn’t seem right.
Could she have really seen something in the apothecary, enough to want an affair with him, at the risk of being saddled with a bastard child?
"She must have had some reason," Feyre said quietly. "Even when it was just...wanting comfort of some kind."
Rhys was quiet, his dark eyes searching her face.
Slowly, a soft sigh escaped him, and he pulled himself up, pulling Feyre into his arms as he sat back against the headboard of the bed.
Feyre buried her face in his neck, inhaling the scent of his familiar, comforting scent.
His fingers combed through her hair, the touch soothing her frazzled nerves.
"I just want you to think about...if you do pull on that thread, you don't know what you are going to unravel," Rhys said carefully. "You need to be prepared that you maybe won't get the answer you think you will."
A shuddery breath left Feyre, and she closed her eyes.
She didn’t even know what she wanted to hear. Both options were horrible in their own way. 
"I know," she said softly. "But I...but I have to try."
And so the next morning...she sat out to find her sister's apartment. She had never gone there before. There had been no reason for it. Even when Zahra had moved out of the townhouse and into her apartment, she had still showed up for Solstice and for Starfall, had still come to dinner. Zahra seemed to have made the best out of her life in Velaris. Had found herself a job and an apartment...just as Feyre walked the streets she realised that...she knew nothing about her sister's life but these two facts.
The realisation hit her hard, and a wave of guilt crashed over her, making her nauseous as she walked down the street.
It had never occurred to her before...but now she realised that she knew almost nothing about her sister’s life now. Nothing about the people in her life, or her dreams, or any hobbies...nothing except the fact that she had an apartment and a job, and that she still came to dinners.
Feyre didn't know about her sister's friends, didn't know about any hobbies she may had taken up...because whenever Zahra had come over, seemingly all they had talked about was whatever went on in Feyre's life. Feyre's worries, Feyre's problems. Zahra's problems hadn't ever been a topic of conversation. And Feyre also weakly admitted herself that the fact that Nesta and Elain wanted to spent time with her now...it was such a rare treat that...that maybe she had forgotten the older sister that had always been there for her for that.
She had been so elated that her sisters were spending time with her, and she had soaked up the attention like a dry sponge.
But now, with the sickening realisation that she hadn’t asked about Zahra’s life hit, a wave of guilt hit her.
Had her sister felt neglected by her? Had Zahra ever felt like a forgotten afterthought?
Feyre felt nauseous, and her steps slowed as she approached the building where Zahra lived.
The realisation that...that while she had been so happy to hang out with her elder sisters, she hadn’t even asked Zahra about her life...she didn’t even know what kind of apartment she lived in, what her home was like…
And apparently it wasn't an apartment at all.
Feyre blinked twice at the cottage in front of her.
A cottage?
The word echoed in her head, over and over, while she stared at the small building before her.
Zahra lived in a cottage.
A cottage that had clearly seen better days.
The exterior of the house was badly in need of a new coat of paint.
A pang of worry hit Feyre as she looked at the home, an anxiety filling her stomach.
How could Zahra possibly be living in such a place…?!
Though it was obvious that Zahra had put time and money into making it her home. It was clean, the windows were sparkling...the door had been painted bright blue.
She had done some work.
And the small garden in the front had clearly been tended and cared for meticulously.
But it was clear that her sister had a limited budget.
The paint job only really covered the worst of the blemishes rather than giving the home an actual makeover, and the windows sparkled, but they still looked old and worn.
It was a tiny cottage, barely more than a two-room house, but it was in the outskirts of Velaris and the next neighbours clearly were far away.
"Seems like I wasn't the only one who had this idea," drawled a voice behind her.
Feyre almost jumped, nearly letting out a shriek as a voice suddenly spoke up from behind her. A voice that she recognized far too well.
She didn't even need to turn around to know who had spoken.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded, turning around to face Cassian.
Cassian didn't look the slightest bit guilty.
Instead, a broad smirk was on his face, his wings folded neatly behind him and his arms crossed in front of his armoured chest.
"The same thing you are, clearly," he drawled as he looked at the cottage in front of them.
"You want to speak to Zahra as well," Feyre said more as a statement rather than a question.
Cassian didn't deny it, simply shrugged.
"Why?" she demanded.
Cassian sighed, unfolding his arms and letting his hands fall loosely to his sides. "I need some answers," he said shortly. "Answers, because I am pretty sure that Nesta is wrong about her having just an affair. And if she is wrong..." Cassian grimaced. "The fallout is not going to be pretty."
"And if she’s right? If Zahra did a stupid, young mistake? Then what?" Feyre asked.
Cassian shrugged, a nonchalant look on his face.
"It's not like I haven't done the same," he said drily. "Or worse at that matter. She'll not get judgment from me."
Feyre felt a flicker of surprise at his words.
Cassian was…far more blunt and straightforward than Rhys…but, she thought as she studied his face, he actually didn’t look entirely comfortable.
His features were schooled into a look of nonchalance, but there was a tension in his face and body that hinted that the situation had him on edge, as well.
Still, Feyre walked up the step of the porch that had seen better days and knocked at the door. "Zahra?" she called loudly.
"She isn't here," Cassian said helpfully. "I can't hear a heartbeat. It's empty.”
Feyre’s heart sank at the words, and a curse fell from her lips.
She’d come all the way here…and Zahra wasn’t even home.
“Then where is she?” Feyre bit out.
"Probably at work, I'd guess," Cassian said, a small shrug on his shoulders.
He eyed the house, his lips pressed together in a thin line.
"I’m going to look inside," he said then, making a step towards the door.
"You can’t-" Feyre hissed at him, but Cassian cut her off.
"If you have a better idea, I’m open to suggestions," he said, looking back at her. "But if we’re here already, I want to see if there is anything inside that will give us a clue. Something, anything."
Feyre held his gaze for a long moment.
She knew he had a point, and she knew she wouldn’t win this argument.
"Fine," she gritted out. "But you leave everything as it is. No messing with anything."
Cassian shot her a smirk, before he grabbed the door handle and with a sharp twist, he had opened the door.
Without pause, he stalked into the house, leaving Feyre to follow him.
"You'll better fix this before we leave," Feyre snapped at him, following behind, into her sister's living room.
It was clean...tidy. A couch that had seen better days...and an absolute monstrous plaid chair that looked like it was made for wings. Feyre wasn't the only one who stared at that.
Cassian did too.
A long moment passed.
Cassian, the Lord of Bloodshed, a hulking, tall, intimidating figure, stood in the small living room and stared at the chair as if he was struck mute.
Just staring.
A long moment passed, before he let a shudder run down his spine. "That thing is an abomination," he said gruffly.
​​Feyre watched as Cassian’s nostrils flared, and his eyes widened, like a cat scenting something in the air.
A frown appeared on his face, and he took a quick, short sniff again.
"What is it?" Feyre demanded.
"Az was here," Cassian said, surprise colouring his voice. "More than once."
Feyre’s eyes widened at that, and she sniffed the air.
Cassian was right.
A familiar scent was lingering in the air. So subtle that she wouldn’t have sensed it if it wasn’t pointed out to her, but it was there.
Azriel’s mist and cedar scent, lingering in the room.
"Why was Az here?" Feyre wondered.
Cassian just shook his head as he continued to sniff.
"Not just here," he said, making a step into the kitchen. "In there, as well. And in the bedroom. "
Feyre wasn’t even surprised to find that he was right.
Azriel’s scent was all over the small house, lingering in the air in every single room.
Even in the bathroom.
"What in the Cauldron...?" Feyre breathed as she followed Cassian into the bedroom.
The scent was even stronger in the small room, clearly having clung to the bedding and lingered on the furniture.
"Azriel has clearly been frequenting this place," Cassian said slowly, an intense look on his face as he glanced around the bedroom. "And more than once. It's all over the house."
"He wouldn't...right?" Feyre asked. Had her sister and Azriel been...together?
"I...I don't know," Cassian said slowly.
A pensive look was on his face, his gaze sharp as he looked at the matress.
"We all know how...discreet Azriel is about these things," he said, a grimace on his face. "But Azriel...and Zahra...?"
Cassian shook his head, his nostrils flaring again, clearly trying to scent the room.
"They...I mean, it doesn't smell like sex. But that doesn't mean anything," he said with a shrug. "Maybe they haven't had sex in a few days. Maybe they just have friendly sleep overs and nothing else," he suggested and Feyre snorted.
"Sure, Azriel just uses my sister as his own personal teddy bear and nothing else," she said darkly. "I am going to have words with both of them when they come over for dinner. What in the cauldron is going on?!"
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rosalinesurvived · 7 months ago
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Results are in, Fyodor dies after falling down bc of his anaemia and humiliates himself infront of everyone
Wait, this means that Dazai is the only human who can kill Dostoyevsky, due to his nullification ability, which would result in Dostoyevsky being unable to take over Dazai's body and would thus make him disappear. Dazai was truly Dostoyevsky's only possible nemesis since the beginning. Also, cue to Dazai's moral dilemma, because now that he's on the good side he shouldn't be killing anymore.
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illnessfaker · 9 months ago
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tw: black+trans death
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from the_yvesdropper on instagram:
our beautiful black trans brother, 35 year old Righteous Torrence "Chevy" Hill, was murdered in Atlanta, GA this weekend.
he went by his nickname 'Chevy' he was originally from Macon, GA. he owned Evollusion, which is a black/ queer owned LGBTQ+ salon in Atlanta that provided and dedicated full service to specializing in hair, nails, barbering and makeup. growing up as young black queer boys/kids, the barbershop experience can sometimes be a tricky space to occupy, this was something that Chevy understood and wanted to cultivate a space of safety where you can also get the affirming look and style you want, and he did exactly that.
Chevy was a beloved son, brother, partner, and father.
one of his last posts that had a photo of himself said :
"if you truly know me, you know i am a humble, modest, private man, that i love my community, i have the love of God in me and will give the shirt off my back to any soul in need, also i never post pictures of myself, legaey give myself credit, that stops today, i am my legacy!"
(a close friend of Chevy asked if i could share more then one photo of Chevy, since he never posted photos of himself and in recent years he got the confidence to want to share more photos and now he won't get the chance to)
Chevy, hey king, hey brother, hey angel, thank you for everything, i lové you, we lové you, i'm so sorry. there are a lot of photographers in heaven who will be able to photograph you as the glorious black trans angel that you are.
there will be a homegoing service/memorial for our brother
there aren't many details about what happened but apparently he was shot by a family member last wednesday, the 28th (at least this article was the one linked in relation to his murder.)
judging by both the IG post and the comments section he was well-loved by many people and those people have many good memories with him and nothing but good things to say. this is a comment that was left by tirajmeansgolden which was hidden by IG for some reason:
I started testosterone in February 2020. I hit this man up at the end of 2019 after numerous Google searches for an LGBT-friendly barber near me (and by near me... he was a good 35-40 minutes from the rural area I was in outside of Atlanta: but when I found out he was a trans man and that his business was the first and only LGBT hair bar, I knew it would be worth the trip). I was a dysphoric mess in his DMs one Sunday. I hated how my hair was growing out. I never had a "masculine" hairstyle before but decided one day I would buzz it all off myself, then allowed it to grow out a bit... I sent him a video and despite him being closed on Sunday, he told me to come through. I got my hair braided and he gave me my first really masculine fade. Explained the different terms. Lined me up. Was asking me about my decision to transition and provided some helpful advice + guidance. I told him how I was a therapist and he was hype and said he talked with a group of trans men and he would love for me to stop by and also give some mental health tips. So whoever said he was humble - wow, what an understatement. Such a community man! Made me feel SO comfortable because barbershops were a source of major trauma and triggers for me. They were such an integral part of my early transition (I just celebrated 4 years later week). And he was such an integral part of the Atlanta Queer community with hosting events like Queer Con. How I found so many other great resources + queer businesses/artists. May you rest in peace, Chevy. You'll be missed. You've made such a different in the lives of countless people. You definitely were living your Purpose + left a legacy behind ...
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ew-selfish-art · 1 year ago
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Dpx Dc AU: Ectoplasm is required for Ghosts to be visible to the human eye- And Danny creates his own ectoplasm.
Danny is visiting Jazz in Gotham and its weird how friendly everyone is. Like, the city gets a really bad rapport, everywhere he goes there is someone trying to strike up a conversation or answer his questions about getting around to the tourist spots. A few people even pointed out restaurants and ways to find off the beaten path gems! Jazz seems to role her eyes at him, but when he brings up her 'roommate' being kind of cute she flat out laughs.
Danny then comes to understand the Jazz doesn't have a roommate and that Ghosts in Gotham don't move far from their haunts- He's just been inadvertently turning these undead folks visible by accident of generating abnormal amounts of ectoplasm.
Which, is comforting in a way, he's never walking this dangerous city alone and really, most of the ghosts have been really friendly! They disappear once he's a few blocks away from them anyway.
---
Tim Drake is having a horrible day.
He'd been given intel that one of Black Mask's guys was going to snitch but that he'd died before given the opportunity to reach out to the GCPD. He tracks down the guy's last know whereabouts and yikes. Its next to the Theater. Tim was often grateful for his childhood obsessions, this time it backfired.
Tim and Bruce get into an argument about trust and respect and, worst of all, mental health. And even though Tim was vehemently against Batman accompanying Red Robin to the alleyway - that's exactly what happens.
They arrive and Bruce is closing up faster than a clam in the contaminated Gotham Bay- Clearly being in the Alley bothers him. No fucking shit. RR gets started on collecting evidence, there are a few extra blood splatters and a single left shoe... When a kid walks into the Alley.
"Uh, sorry to intrude-" The kid looks scared shitless, and runs away. And then, all of a sudden, Batman and Robin aren't alone in the Alley.
Tim can hardly believe his eyes as the dead man appears and quickly blabs Black Mask's bank passwords and what the plan had been- and While he's over joyed to have that closure, he turns around to Batman weeping in the arms of his parents.
The ghosts fade, and the emotions are certainly charged as this was never something Bruce or Tim would have ever dreamed of happening. Ghosts in Gotham. Talking, floating, granting closure.
"RR, Bats, come in." Oracle calls into their ears.
"Reporting in, but, uh, we need a minute."
"A minute? We have a case on 4th and-"
"O, we just saw the ghosts of the Waynes. It's going to be a minute."
"...Lots of Ghost reports lately then. Any chance you saw a kid looking like he could be adopted?"
"Yeah, actually, black hair and blue eyes. He was super polite before he ran away."
"We have work to do. Oracle, lets prioritize finding our person of interest and divert Nightwing and Robin to the case on 4th." Batman cut between them on the comms and he sounded... calmer than either of them anticipated.
---
Jazz is no longer laughing when Batman appears at her door explaining that he's looking for Danny (Who already flew away from town to get a good night's sleep before class on Monday). Turns out Danny reunited the man with his dead parents just briefly- and then the second guy appears and mentions how Danny had also given a guy who'd been murdered by a Mob enough time to explain the ongoing threats the city faced.
Jazz just rolls her eyes and says that it's not like the ghosts are going anywhere anytime soon and Danny will visit in another month. When pressed, she just explains that her brother is a weirdo. No of course he doesn't have powers. Gaslight and Girlbosses her way out.
And Jazz thinks that the game is up for at least another month, obviously when Danny visits more shit will stir up, but then this new guy appears.
Unlike the other Bats who are keen on watching her from a distance, the Red Hood knocks on her door. Are her eyebrows all the way into her hairline when Red Hood asks her to send his thanks along to Danny because somehow this whole situation led to his Dad expressing remorse for his actions and apologizing? Yes, yes they are.
But Jazz can smell Dissertation Data off of these vigilantes- Who is she to send them away? Jazz welcomes Red Hood into her place for a cup of tea and a small chat.
The story then devolves into Jazz getting shit done, Danny being cute by proximity and also bringing ghosts to the party, and the Bats having trauma resolve between them.
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audreycritter · 1 year ago
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every time i see a post talking about how alfred pennyworth failed bruce for not getting him into therapy as a kid i want to scream.
it did not exist. the idea that children could have PTSD was just starting to be discussed in the late 80s/early 90s at the FRINGE of child psychology, and then trauma therapy even for adults spent an unhelpful 2ish decades dominated by forced-conversation talk therapy. that's a thing that is detrimental to trauma recovery, because if someone doesn't feel safe or in control of the dialogue about their trauma and is repeatedly asked to describe their trauma when they're uneasy, it COMPOUNDS TRAUMA AND FEELINGS OF DANGER.
when bruce was a kid, even the best psychs available would have had training that taught them kids bounce back, that kids don't respond to or handle trauma the way adults do, and that any behaviors post-trauma were almost certainly unrelated mental illness.
i see this esp in fandom circles but a gentle reminder that therapy even when it's good doesn't fix everything. even if bruce had HAD access to good childhood PTSD therapy, he would still have grief, he would still potentially be socially awkward or withdrawn, he might have still decided to be Batman because it's a comic book where being a vigilante isn't as wild as it is irl.
therapy requires honesty, readiness, safety, sound application of theory, an accurate picture of life outside the therapy room (self-reporting is often flawed!), consistency, and more! it can help but it doesn't erase trauma or grief. it's dismissive of the history of trauma therapy to say an adult "should have" had a kid in a therapy approach that didn't exist, and it's dismissive of the actual work of therapy to act like therapy would have made everything ideal. bruce isn't going to be a normal, well-adjusted adult because his parents were murdered in front of him. he could be happy! he could have coping skills! but honestly it would be weirder if he didn't wrestle with residual trauma and grief throughout his life.
and maybe this is just because i love Batman, and love specifically Batman as a symbol/figure of hope and sacrifice and the belief that every life matters, but I don't think the worst ending here is Bruce deciding to give up a lot of his time, energy, and health to work in Gotham AND then choose to parent a traumatized child and actively meet his needs. like you think the alternative is that Alfred is a better parent by getting him into non-existent therapy and then he stays comfortably wealthy at home and is just another rich dude? that's the ideal version? the one who can't help Dick Grayson because Dick Grayson wants to run away and murder a man?
anyway tl;dr alfred should have flaws, yes, but there's a big gap between "flawed human parental figure" and "man who massively failed Bruce in multiple ways, one of which was not putting him in therapy."
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alvojake · 7 months ago
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The Murder House | Masterlist & Intro ⏃
↳ this is inspired by an ask from the lovely @addictedtohobi
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「parings」 : enha x fem!reader
「synopsis」 : it was halloween season once again, and your brother begged you and your friends to go to this new hit escape room that just came into town; the only problem? you hated going to them almost as much as you hated waking up early in the morning. however, being the good friend and sister you were you went with them. you expected cheesy props, dumb riddles and questions, and a rigged room, so you couldn't get out even if you got the right answers. what you weren't expecting was being drugged and waking up in a room with a dead body and separated from all of your friends.
「genre」 : horror/thriller, gore, angst, psychological thriller, mystery
「warnings」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!, heavy gore, blood, murder, mentions of suicide, cussing, death, manipulation, mentions of being drugged, toxic behavior, reader is speculated to be an 03' liner, trauma bonding, other specific warnings on individual parts.
𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆
「taglist」 : CLOSED
↳ a/n: I have decided to make this into a short series because I just know trying to write one long fic won't suffice, so I am making it into separate parts! I am super excited to see what you guys think so far and to hear all of your theories. don't forget to read the intro at the bottom!! I will be figuring out release dates for all of the parts at a later time, but they will all be subject to change depending on multiple factors! also, if you were on the taglist located on the wip post, then you are still on there, so don't worry! with that being said you will only be added to the taglist if you are 18+ and your age is visible on your page. if you don't meet either of those criteria, you will be ignored.
「start」 : May 8th, 2024 「end」 : June 20th, 2024
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「synopsis」 : after waking up trapped in a room with a dead body, you are saved by none other than heeseung, but you're still left with questions. why were you and your friends trapped there, and who is behind it all? though it would seem that you won't be getting your answers very easily and definitely not without a few losses. 「word count」 : 10.2k 「warnings」 : blood, dead body, cussing, mentions of murder, mind games, drugging, mentions of mental health disorders (anxiety, panic attacks, etc...), jungwon is kinda reckless, lmk if I missed anything! 「release date」 : read here
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「synopsis」 : with everyone's lives on the line will luck be on your side? except it seems like whoever trapped you here doesn't plan on letting any of you leave that easy... suspicion is rising and trust is starting to falter, but can you save everyone and bust whoever put you and your friends through this hell? or will you have to watch all of your friends die? 「word count」 : 11.3k 「warnings」 : cussing, spiders/bugs, water, blood, mentions of betrayal, arguments, mentions of claustrophobia & arachnophobia/entomophobia, mentions of spider venom, life or death situations, more mind games, mental health disorders (anxiety, panic attacks, breakdowns, etc...), (some tags will be hidden as to not spoil the story!) 「release date」 : read here
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「synopsis」 : everything seems to be going downhill at a rapid pace and nothing is going right and you've already suffered the loss of two friends, but the mastermind behind this doesn't seem to be satisfied just yet. another test is thrown your way but things are starting to become more clear and you're realizing that the culprit has been with you the whole time... but will you be able to stop him and escape this hell house with your lives intact? 「word count」 : 10.5k 「warnings」 : cussing, even more 'games', blood, violence, gore, gun goes pew pew, poisoning, betrayal, gaslighting, familial issues, mentions of abuse (mental & physical), knife goes stabby, threats, death, obsessive/stalker-ish behavior, mental health disorders, even more betrayal, traumatic events, police, pls lmk if I missed anything! 「release date」 : read here
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「synopsis」 : it's been a few weeks since you managed to escape from the murder house, but it's not quite over yet. your brother's trial was right around the corner and everything is brought back to the table. after he's found guilty and sent to prison you are determined to find out some answers, though you aren't sure if you'll like what he has to say.... 「word count」 : 6.2k 「warnings」 : cussing, petnames (my love, love...), kissing, court trial, sister complex, familial issues, mentions of abuse (mental & physical), obsessive behavior, threats, mentions of death, gaslighting, lmk if I missed anything! 「release date」 : read here
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“Come on, y/n. We never get the chance to do this!” Riki whined as he draped his taller frame over your back, causing you to slouch forward. You let out an annoyed huff, letting your hands fall to your lap. Your phone slid from your fingers as you tilted your head to look back at your brother.
“Riki, how many times have I told you that I hate going to things like that?” You pushed back against him, causing the boy to fall dramatically back on the couch. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed your discarded phone off the ground, Riki watching you with a pout.
“You watch too many horror movies,” he grumbled, remembering all the nights you would watch horror movies only to have some new-found fear afterward, even if it was something completely unnecessary.
You dropped your phone once more before glaring up at your brother, “ya know, there is always some truth to them.”
“y/n, please. They are just movies. Complete fiction. Ghosts aren’t real.” Riki rolled his eyes, picking at the loose strings of the couch cushion. 
“Even rumors stem from some kind of truth, Riki.” You huffed out, but it didn’t seem like your brother would stop pestering you until you finally gave in. So after hours of continuously asking and begging, you finally gave in to him, telling him that you would ask your friends only if he brought his own.
And he agreed.
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When that dreadful night finally came, you were stuck in a car with all of your friends. The crisp October air was cold on your skin, but the heating in the vehicle that Jay had turned on was enough to leave you comfortable. Jake had some random playlist filling the speakers jamming out in the passenger seat while Jungwon, Sunghoon, and Heeseung were crammed into the far back of the SUV, all three on the brink of passing out from how long the drive was.
“I thought you said this place was in town, Riki.” You grumbled, flexing your jaw, trying to ease the discomfort from having it placed on your hand as you stared mindlessly out the car window. However, now that it was fully dark outside, there wasn’t much to look at, seeing that there were no streetlights.
“I mean, the address said it was in town; how was I supposed to know it was in the ass crack of it?” Riki sassed as he scrolled through his phone, looking at whatever was posted on social media.
“Language, dude.” Jay scolded the boy, his eyes staring at him through the rearview mirror.
“Korean, what else?”
Pursing your lips, you reached over and landed a smack on the back of his head, resulting in him letting out a groan as his head fell forward.
“What was that for?!” Riki exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head as he looked over at you with wide eyes.
“Don’t be such a smart ass.” You scolded him, and Riki grumbled before showing Sunoo something on his phone. 
Shaking your head, you lean forward, resting your arms on the back of Jay’s seat, “How much longer do we have to go?”
Jay quickly glanced at you from the rearview mirror, much like he did Riki, before glancing down at the GPS on his dash.
"It's saying we have about ten or so minutes left until we get there." He told you before putting his eyes back on the road. 
It was then that you started to notice just how desolate the surrounding area was. If this was such a hit attraction, why weren't any other cars around? Or any kind of sign of life. It was starting to give you the creeps. However, you just reminded yourself that you were doing this for your brother and that it was probably just your imagination playing tricks on you. So you just tried to relax, sitting back in your seat once more, eyes staring out at the blackness of the trees.
That feeling of unease only grew more once Jay pulled into the driveway, and you noticed that there wasn’t a single car in sight. You pulled your seatbelt off slowly, eyes searching everywhere, trying to find anything to settle this unnerving feeling that was twisting in your gut. As you opened the door, welcoming the chilling air outside, goosebumps littered your skin.
“Come on, y/n, get out. My legs are cramping!” Riki complained, pushing on your shoulder and urging you to leave the vehicle.
With a shaky sigh, you slowly let your foot fall to the ground, your knees feeling like jelly. Jay stepped out of the car, pocketing the keys before looking over at you. His eyebrows scrunched together, taking in the uneasy expression on your face.
“Hey, y/n, are you okay?” he asked, softly taking your arm and pulling you away from the open door so everyone else could pile out. 
“Yeah, it’s just…” You trailed on as your eyes caught sight of the small sign that was hammered into the ground.
The Murder House
You could have sworn that you felt your heart stop. What kind of douchebag names their escape room that? As if the air around you wasn’t suffocating enough, seeing that only made it feel like you were fighting for your breath.
“Sunoo, you’re in the back on the way home.” Heeseung groans as he stretches out, his joints groaning in protest. Sunoo just gave the older male the side eye before moving to stand on the other side of Jake, who had just gotten out of the car.
“Riki, I thought you said this was a hit attraction.” You looked over at your brother, who was inspecting the area much like you were until his eyes landed on you. “Why is there no one here?”
“Calm your tits, sis. I’m sure we just came on a night that no one else wanted to?” He rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, that just means we won’t get stuck with some randos.” Heeseung shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket.
"Come on, y'know, we didn't come all this way just to chicken out," Jungwon grumbled, tossing his hair with his fingers.
You curled your lips inward, knowing that they were right and that you were just thinking too much about the situation. Crossing your arms over your chest, you nodded your head in silent agreement. Jay wrapped his arm around your shoulder, giving you a gentle squeeze, ignoring the prying eyes that were on the two of you.
“Don’t let it get to you too much, okay? We’ll just get it over with, and if anything, we just let the timer go out.” He whispered softly in your ear, and the warmth of his breath eased your mind slightly. 
“You’re right, I’m just overthinking.” You gave him a small smile before following after him and the others.
“God damn, Riki, why did we have to walk all the way up here?” Sunghoon huffed as all of you reached the steps of the porch.
You couldn’t help but laugh, knowing he was right because that was a pretty lengthy walk uphill. All of the guys nodded in agreement before Jake walked further up the step, trying to see if you were able to get in. He then noticed a welcome sign hanging from the door, with a small basket underneath holding a piece of paper.
“It looks like we got some instructions, boys and girls,” Jake exclaimed with a broad smile, turning with the paper held high.
You looked at him uneasily as he unfolded it with a flourish and started reading it out loud so everyone could hear.
‘You will have two hours to uncover the grand mystery and escape the murder house. You will find clues and puzzles, but be careful, for everything isn’t as it seems… Good luck!’
A shiver ran down your spine as he finished reading. You weren't sure whether it was the chilling breeze that swept through or the cryptic words of the note. However, you did know that it wasn't just your mind messing with you; there was something deeply wrong with this place.
“Hey guys, this seems really weird. Maybe we should just go.” You voiced your concern, earning yourself a collection of groans from the guys.
“Oh, come on, y/n. Stop being such a negative Nancy and have some fun for once in your life.” Jake rolled his eyes, his hands falling to his side.
Your jaw clenched shut, and a glare adorned your features before you leaned forward, snatching the paper out of his hands.
“You’re such an asshole, Jake.” The words tumbled out quietly as you reread the same message that Jake had just read aloud, trying to see if there was anything else that he had missed.
“Yeah, yeah.” The brunette rolled his eyes before going on to complain about how thirsty he was and how he was sure that they would have drinks for sale or something inside. Then, without another word, he opened the door despite the multiple protests from you and a few others. 
“Jake, you can’t just walk in like you own the place!” You exclaim, hands slapping against your thighs as he disappears around the corner.
Letting out a huff, you step past the threshold, trying to shake off the eerie feeling that started to settle into your bones before going in the direction you saw Jake go, everyone trailing after you.
You walked into the foyer with a groan as you saw the older male chugging down a water bottle, some of it trickling down his chin before catching on his shirt. Your eyes then trail over to a tray that sat in the center of the table, six other bottles neatly placed inside.
“Jake, you can’t just take shit that’s not yours!” You scolded him, which only caused him to stop drinking, a gasp leaving his lips as he pulled the bottle away.
Riki then walked past you, looking down at the table and seeing some kind of note. Taking it, he held it up so everyone could see.
Free refreshments!
“The host probably just sat them out for people to take.” Riki shrugged, setting the paper back down on the table before grabbing a bottle for himself. 
Your stomach turned as you watched him unscrew the cap, “we can’t just trust drinks that are given to us by some random strangers.”
Heeseung then moves past you, his arm brushing yours, before grabbing one of the bottles. He inspected it for a few seconds before meeting your gaze.
"It's still sealed; there's no way someone tampered with it," he explained before twisting the cap open and swallowing a few drinks.
“Weren’t you the one complaining about being thirsty in the car?” Riki raised an eyebrow at you, and you just rolled your eyes.
“Yeah, but-” “But what, just drink the water, it’s not like you’re gonna die.” Riki quipped, causing your jaw to tighten. You knew he was right; you had been complaining about not bringing an extra drink for the road, but you weren’t quite sure if you were thirsty enough to drink some random water given out by a stranger. However, the dry feeling in your throat was telling you otherwise, so with some hesitation, you took the bottle Jay was handing you before twisting the cap off and bringing it to your lips; the liquid instantly quenched your dying thirst. 
After everyone got a much-needed drink, they all needed you all gathered around the coffee table. You, Heeseung, and Jay were on the long couch while Sunoo, Niki, and Jake cramped on the loveseat, leaving the armchair for Sunghoon, Jungwon perched on the armrest. 
“So… when does this game start?” Sunoo asked, leaning forward so his arms rested on his knees. Looking around, you couldn’t help but notice that the room was neatly decorated and clean, yet there was no sign of anyone being there.
Heeseung then leaned forward to grab something sitting on the table, catching everyone’s attention. He flipped it around, trying to find any indication of what it was, but nothing was written on the outside, so he opened the flap and pulled out the papers inside.
“It’s more instructions,” he explains as he starts to read them aloud. It says that as soon as the… the… sorry, I just feel really lightheaded.” He mumbles, shaking his head while squeezing his eyes shut, trying to stabilize his vision.
"Hee man, are you good?" Jay asked, putting a hand on the older male's shoulder, and Heeseung just nodded.
“Yeah, I just…” Heeseung’s words slurred as he started to sway, his eyes drooping. 
Panic started to set in your chest as you noticed that Heeseung looked like he was on the brink of passing out. Just then, Jungwon slumped to the side, falling right into Sunghoon’s lap, causing him to start calling out the boy’s name.
You quickly stood to your feet to check on him, but you fell back into your seat just as soon as you stood, your vision swimming. However, as you looked around, you noticed that all of the boys were either slumped over or on the brink of passing out. 
Worry then etched itself into your bones when your hazy vision landed on your brother's motionless form. You opened your mouth to call out for him and tried to get your body to move, but it wouldn't respond, and no words left your lips. Then everything seemed to fade, and your body grew weaker and weaker until you fell to the side, your head resting against Jay's back before everything went black.
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Your body shot up with a gasp, and your ears rang so loud you could have thought it was coming from some kind of speaker. However, as it started to die down to a dull shrill, you realized that it was just you.
Looking around, you felt a chill run down your spine. You couldn’t see a thing. The room was shrouded in darkness, with not a single light in sight. Panic then started to set in as the earlier events started to play in your head. 
Where was your brother? Or your friends? What caused you all to black out?
So many questions started filling your brain, some overlapping others as you fumbled to get to your feet. You blinked multiple times, trying to fully stabilize your vision and to see in the darkness.
A scream escaped from your lips as you tripped over something, landing in some kind of liquid. Your heartbeat roared in your ears as you hurriedly tried to get to your feet, the ringing in your ears growing louder.
Scrambling to your feet, you reach out in front of you, trying to find the wall, and as soon as you do, you start searching for the light switch. With shaky hands, you felt around the wall until you felt the switch. Letting out a relieved sigh, you flipped it, allowing the room to flood with light.
You looked up with a smile before remembering that your hands were still covered in whatever you had fallen into. Your gaze then fell down to your hands, only for the smile to be wiped away and your eyes to go wide.
Blood. Your palms were covered in blood.
Your stomach turns the urge to throw up very strong; dread then fills your veins as you slowly turn around. A high-pitched scream leaves your lips as your eyes are set upon the body of a man, blood pooling all around him.
Fear clouded your brain as you quickly turned back around to open the door. Rushing over to the wooden door, you wrapped your hands around the knob, hoping that it would turn. But it didn’t.
The door was locked, and you were trapped.
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@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work
𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.
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atomicsheepscientist · 2 months ago
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Some days I wish no one would miss me if I disappeared
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pressureplus · 3 months ago
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Yandere Sebastian Solace Headcannons
Warning: Blood, Light gore, Murder, Stalking, Obsession, Marking/Biting, Actually Delusional, Like he’s actually crazy, It’s a Yandere…they’re not Sunshine and Rainbows
◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟
The moment he saw you, he knew he just had to have you. As if some kind of switch had flipped on in his brain that he didn’t know existed
Suddenly you were the center of his entire world. Every inch of it.
Everything you did became the reason he lived and breathed, following you became the only thing that kept him sane. Attempting to stop was detrimental to his mental health
So he settled for a healthy medium when he could, sneaking pictures of you while your back is turned
Finding that old camera has led to some very…interesting pictures of you being pinned onto a cork board in his room. Sometimes just standing, sometimes your face, sometimes your body.
Not that you know these pictures exist, of course
Sometimes he just stares at them, almost entirely unblinking, and runs his hands over the pictures like he can feel your skin
Sometimes he can’t help but to kiss the pictures of your face like you’re really there. Silly little thing, isn’t he?
In person? He doesn’t treat you any different at first. Though he gets noticeably more aggressive with people that get close to you
One day, trying to avoid Eyefestations gaze, you bumped into a desk really hard and your pants got caught on it. It left a sizable bruise and a tear in your pants
A jar of familiar eyeballs is left with your name on it outside the room you’ve been staying in down here
You never see Eyefestation again.
He insists on helping whenever you’re applying new bandages or using a medkit, the smell of your blood practically getting him drunk
He wants to bite you. He wants to eat you. He wants to kill you. He just wants to be a part of you, or inside you? As close as he can get to being you.
He loves you so much he wants to tear you apart limb by limb, wearing your bones like a crown and your beating heart like a necklace
He wants to be so entirely soaked in the smell of you, your blood, your clothes, that he cannot tell where he ends and you begin
But he could never dream of hurting you, not really, not like that. No, he’s better than the monsters down here, no matter how sweet your blood smells.
The odd version of cuteness aggression he has tells him to do all sorts of terrible things, it’s a good thing he has self-control
Keeps your used bandages. Dont ask what he does with them, you don’t want to know.
Probably steals clothes you’ve worn recently too if they smell like you…
He’s always watching you, and while you didn’t know about his little habits before, you probably catch on the first time he shoots one of your new friends
They hadn’t hurt you, yelled, they’d only tried to touch you. It was so quick too. The loud bang and a ringing in your ears as his gun produced a bit of smoke. He blows on it for a moment before holstering it. A mess of splattered remains on the ground as he smiled at you.
“My apologies, what were we talking about? Oh yes the batteries you wanted. That’s going to be about 50 data.”
“Y-You just killed someone right next to me. What was that even for?”
“Oh that? You’re right. You shouldn’t have had to see that. How about 30 instead?”
He’s started to pick off the people you talk with, the people you hang around. Leaving you in complete isolation from anything that isn’t him.
Don’t flash beacon him. He’ll say that it’s alright. That you’re just confused! He’ll crush it in his hand. The second time, however, he’ll leave the bruise of his hand wrapped around your arm when he tugs you forward and bites you
Some kind of punishment, you suppose, but it does leave a scar
One he’s going to obsess over
If you love him back that’s great! You’ll be treated a little nicer so long as you follow the rules. Nobody can touch you, nobody can be close to you, you’re not to make eye contact with anyone but him- oh and you must always sleep in his bed!
Despite what you may believe, it’s not for sexual purposes, he just wants his bed to smell like you
Still unstable and still an asshole, but on the plus side? You get babied and given gifts and kissed and protected!
You are his little treasure after all! Which means you get special perks
But if you don’t love him back, well…he doesn’t really care. It’ll just take time, soon you’ll see things his way, that’s all.
At least that’s what his delusional ass believes.
If he has to leave you chained up somewhere to keep you from getting hurt then he will. He’d hate to watch the light leave those beautiful eyes of yours.
And when he finally manages to escape he will drag you along whether you like it or not. Alone together out at sea, probably on some remote island.
Never letting you die. Never letting you leave. Never letting you be seen by the world.
His little treasure, forever, until the day you both die
Isn’t that romantic? He sure thinks so.
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physalian · 9 months ago
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What No one Tells You about Writing Fantasy, #2!
I did this list about 7 annoyances about fantasy, but I write in this genre for a reason! Fantasy knows no bounds, it can encompass all other genres within it. You can write a fantastical murder mystery, fantasy horror, fantasy romance, political drama, slice-of-life, comedy, whatever you’d like!
Whether it’s urban or high fantasy, supernatural or scientific, here’s seven great benefits of writing in this genre:
1. No modern means of communication
Unless you’re writing a world with phones or phone-adjacent devices. Phones and instant communication seriously inhibits the plausibility of dramatic irony and tension when you have to keep coming up with reasons to keep your characters from calling or texting each other everything they know. It’s exhausting, I tell you, and such a relief when phones aren’t a factor.
With that said, without phones, you have complete freedom to design your own magical channels of supernatural FaceTime, as weird and zany as you want. But without instant connections? Your character who knew too much can’t pass on the intel before they die. Your hero team can’t call for backup in their darkest hour. Otherwise easily preventable tragedies and deadly miscommunications are now very real.
2. The Monster Allegory
Fantasy and sci-fi tend to overlap more than they’re set apart, and in that overlap sits the monster allegory. Everything from werewolves to vampires to witches, reapers, demons, angels, goblins, trolls, wraiths, fairies, mermaids, ghosts, to Eldritch horrors and your classic Hollywood cast of mummies, creatures from the black lagoon, and Frankenstein.
Most of the time, the monsters aren’t just monsters, they represent a monstrous aspect of society the author wants to challenge and caricaturize in a fun and entertaining way. Or, the monsters are the good guys and the humans are the real terrors. Or, you’ve got two kinds of monsters to allegory two human sides. Sometimes they represent metaphorical demons, like vampires often representing addiction and werewolves repressed identities.
What all of this boils down to is the hyperbolic nature of science fantasy that allows you to go over-the-top with your metaphor and allegory in a way that a book grounded in reality just can’t.
3. Magic Systems!
Do you love world building? Do you love filling pages upon pages with your cool and unique set of superpowers you want your characters to have? Do you dream about your fight scenes and dramatic slow-mo shots?
Then Fantasy is for you!
There are zero limits to how you want to define your magic system. You can go classic with the familiar archetypes of elemental magic, wizards, sorcerers, and witches. Or you can step off the beaten path and design a whole new funky system of power sets. Best part? Your readers will have an awesome time imagining themselves with those powers, and debating endlessly about how it works.
4. Real-World Politics, who?
Amazon’s Rings of Power was twice-doomed when they only got the rights to adapt the appendices of The Silmarillion and when they decided to inject current political problems into a timeless story written purposefully to be divorced from those politics. You *can* write about human politics, but in fantasy, you don’t have to. You *can* interpret Lord of the Rings to be an allegory about the World Wars, but no matter how hard you argue, it wasn’t written with that intent.
Which means: Even if your story is set in the reality-adjacent fantasy version of 1543, you are free from the following: Racism, homophobia, sexism, religious bigotry, mental health bigotry, gender norms, anti-feminism, toxic masculinity, and more. “But that’s how it was-”
Nope. This is fantasy. You built this world, you decided to keep in the discrimination. Or… You can fill your fantasy world with a rainbow of gays, POCs in power, women in power, men unafraid to be compassionate and caring, a religion that doesn’t foster hate and division, the list goes on. You. Are. Free.
5. Nothing is too “unrealistic”
Both that you will always have people whining about how X would never happen so write the book you want to read, but also because fantasy is fake. Fairies aren’t real. Mermaids aren’t real. There are no rules for how they must be written and that’s how we have so much variety with so much room for interpretation by so many creators. Twilight made how much money writing about vampires that sparkle like diamonds in sunlight and crack like marble?
This is fantasy, it’s supposed to be unrealistic. Yes, your plot should make sense, but don’t be afraid to get weird. Write at least some of your story dependant on those fantasy elements. Write a story that can’t just be told in the real world minus the spectacle. Don’t be afraid to be sincerely fantastical and weird. People love weird. People love loving weird.
6. You are in complete control
But you do still need to research, unfortunately. Unless this is urban fantasy that depends at least a little on the human world, yours is completely your own to govern like a god tweezing weeds from their garden. You get to design your own geography and weather patterns and seasons. Your own countries and kingdoms and politicians. Your epic pre-canon fantasy war and the stakes that it was fought over. Your species, races, and ethnicities.
It’s a shame that a movie like Avatar (2009) set out to be this wholly unique take on aliens with music completely divorced from earthly bonds, new languages and a visually and culturally distinct alien species… and ended up a largely generic blue Pocahontas in space. It forgot that it was fantasy and didn’t go weird enough. They have horses, monkeys, wolves, rhinos, and deer just re-skinned with some extra limbs and colors. It’s pretty but it’s so, so shallow.
It could have become a cult classic like many a positively *weird* 80s off-beat fantasies, and now it just… exists. It makes a whole lot of money but its impact on the cultural zeitgeist is negligible. I’m the only person I know that can name every major character in the movie, and I’m no Avatar obsessor. They had complete creative control, and this is what they did with it. Don’t be Avatar. Take your creative freedom and run.
7. Even if it has been done before, do it again
You can say this about any genre, particularly romance, but fantasy and sci-fi, by the gatekeep-y nature of their fans, can be a lot less forgiving when it comes to claims of “unoriginality”. No one hates Star Wars more than Star Wars fans. Fans of these genres can get… concerningly attached to their favorite stories (mostly because the people who like them had only their fictional heroes to protect them from very real bullies).
But Game of Thrones exists because the author likes Lord of the Rings and went “yes, but what if it was an R-rated parade of misery?” Dungeons and Dragons exists because people wanted to roleplay in an LotR-esque world. Legolas and Gimli single-handedly defined what a badass elf and dwarf looks like in high fantasy. And people still gobble up media ripping shamelessly, or even good-naturedly, from this one story.
So on my other list, I argued that the sum of your parts is still original, even if the components aren’t. On this list, I implore you this: It’s not stealing or appropriating to write another Legolas if you love Legolas. Everyone loves Legolas. How many generic buff action heroes do we have and love? How many Hallmark romances tread the same predictable path? Who gives a damn if it’s unoriginal? Just make it entertaining and have something fresh to say in the end (or don’t, that’s fine too), and people will read it.
And when people say “Oh, you mean like Legolas”, take it as a compliment, not an insult. Yes, exactly like Legolas. Here’s my new elf because I adore this other book, now watch him go on a new adventure that I wrote for him.
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sanyu-thewitch05 · 5 months ago
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F! Yuu’s Dad in Twst Wonderland Headcanons pt. 2
Pt.1 Pt.3 Pt.4
Heartslabyul, Octavinelle, Scarabia, and Pomefiore are genuinely the only dorms that respect your dad.
Savannaclaw keeps trying to fight him with the exception of Jack, Ruggie, and Leona.
Ignihyde fears your father. Mainly because your father thinks Idia is some form of a perverted weirdo.
🦀: Yuu, that weird boy is looking at you and your cat again.
🎮: Please let me touch your cat…
🦀:….I’m going to give you five minutes to get away from us.
Meanwhile, Diasomnia, is still amused your dad tried to beat up Malleus.
The core emotions and feelings of Diasomnia towards Yuu’s dad is the following:
Malleus: Amused and now takes gaining any sort of relationship with you as a challenge
Silver: A bit wary of your dad but still gets why he’s so protective over you
Sebek: Wants to beat him up for threatening Malleus and thinks he can win
Lilia: As a father he understands and is probably going to tell Malleus not to purposefully irritate your father for his own good.
After witnessing Riddle’s overblot, your father is convinced on staying at the Isle Sage’s hotel
Or maybe trying RSA
Whatever option comes first.
In fact, he actually tried to bolt out of NRC after the Savannaclaw overblot.
🦀: Yuu! Yuu! Yuu, listen to me! These kids are not right in the head. A hyena furry boy was using magic to control people’s bodies so they fall down the stairs. For a school tournament! And the lion furry man, BY THE WAY, he is 20! He tried to turn everyone into sand!
🦐: Dad, please, they’re my friends and I give them comfort. Plus Riddle and Leona were having a mental health crisis.
🦀: These kids are serial killers or murders in the making! We should’ve ran when we found out they worshipped Disney villains!
You end up running out of NRC with your father with Grim, and by the time morning came, someone has already found you.
♥️: Yo. I heard Yuu was staying here now.
🦀: How did you find us?
♥️: Um…I had a bit of help…more like magic spell really.
Deuce, Epel, Jack, Silver, and Sebek step out from behind Ace.
🦀: *Sigh* Look, I get we teleported into your school, but we really don’t need to stay there-
🦐: Dad, can’t I attend school there until we go home? It’s perfect.
🦀: They literally don’t even have a girls bathroom for you to use.
🦐: Doesn’t matter. I can use the bathroom when no one is in there.
Then things heat up when Malleus appears.
🐉: There you are, Child of Man. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.
🦀: Let me guess, you didn’t see her inside her room when you floated by? Like you usually do when you think no one notices?
🐉: Child of Man, would you like to go to my gargoyles club meeting? It’s really only me, but together we can bring more people.
🦀: That is the worst lie for a date I’ve ever heard. Also, her name is Yuu not Child of Man. And this Man is named F/N. Besides, we still don’t know your actually name Hornyton.
The mocking of the nickname Yuu picked out for him causes him to get upset. Which inadvertently activated the fairy tale fae behavior.
🐉: You know, a name is a very important thing to give away. If I give my name to you, you must give something to me.
🦀: You realize I can just break into Crowley’s office and get your school records or just ask anyone what your name is, right?
🐉: Perhaps, your daughter might be something of equal value to give. My name for a girl with an otherworldly name. I assure you I’ll treat her well if you give her to-
Your dad punches Malleus square in the nose and KOs him.
⚡️: WAKA-SAMA!
❤️&♠️: Damn.
🗡️: I told him not to make being in a relationship with Yuu a challenge.
🍎: Nice right hook.
🐺: What good form.
Your dad shuts the door, and packs up your stuff again.
You move back into Ramshackle the next day, but this time there’s iron hanging around the doors and windows.
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jyoongim · 9 months ago
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~BLOOD & BLISS~
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Human!Alastor x wife!Reader
Themes: 1930 based! Human!Alastor x wife!Reader, domestic life! fluff, smut, devotion, slight manipulation, mention of children, pregnancy,  blood, murder, secrets 
Chapter two chapter four
Chapter 3
Note: sooooo as y’all know Alastor and wife!reader have already been married for a few years (by the time they have their last child their marriage will be 16-20 years.) 
Since you had mentioned wanting children, Alastor has taken it upon himself to fuck you on very surface in the house. You had never seen your husband so riled up. When he returned from work, he would always somehow coax you upstairs to make a mess of you. You were often filled with his cum that you were sure you had to be pregnant by now, but you didn’t think about it too much, just letting nature do its thing.
You were prepping for lunch, as Alastor said he wanted to come home and eat.  You decided to keep it simple, opting to make salmon cakes and cabbages. The cabbages were boiling as you moved on to make the cakes. When you opened the can of fish, the smell made you queasy, making your stomach lurch and you quickly made yourself to the bathroom.
You had broken out in a cold sweat as you dry heaved into the toilet. You whimpered as your stomach twisted. You have never had such a reaction to fish before, so why did you feel so sick all of a sudden?
You splashed some cold water on your face and looked at your reflection.
Eyes scanning yourself in the mirror,  you couldn’t see what ailment had fallen over you. You looked a little pale but that could be from anything. Your eyes lingered on your midsection.
could you be…
You turned and pressed your hands against your stomach, smoothing out your dress to be flat. Heart beating out your chest, you caressed your stomach. Your stomach had a slight bump, something that you had chalked up from your indulgence in sweets. But it was rounder than how it usually looked.
Your eyes widened and quickly went downstairs to phone the doctor.
—————————————————————————————-
“Well ma’am congratulations! It would appear you are around 12 weeks.” 
The doctor smiled at you, waiting for your response.
You were stunned. 
Pregnant.
You were pregnant.
You cleared your throat nervously “w-what am i suppose to do?”
The question held uncertainty but you had no idea what or how to process this news.
A small part of you was happy, you finally were gonna have a baby with Alastor. The other part was nervous and scared, you didn’t have the slightest thought on how to raise a child.
The doctor chuckled “Its normal to be scared or nervous. This is your first time after all but don’t worry. I recommend attending mothering classes, to get the knowledge and familiar with baby terms, symptoms, and how to prepare. You’re a bit vitamin-deficient but more fruits and greens can help with that. You’ll experience morning sickness here and there so don’t push yourself. The important thing is that you get as must rest as possible. Stress isn’t good for you or the baby.”
You jotted down some notes as the doctor filled you with some information and thanked him for his time. He gave you your next appointment and answered any other health questions you had. You made a mental note to visit these mommy classes.
You sighed as you closed the door to your home. Your mind was reeling and you were filled with so many emotions.
You hadn’t thought you would get pregnant so soon but Alastor was very if not persistent when it came to keeping you filled.
You soon had a smile on your face as you thought of the little one growing within you. You knew Alastor didn’t mind having a baby, but you couldn’t help but wonder how he would react to the news. 
Would he be excited to be a Daddy? Would he want a boy or a girl?
You were sure he wouldn’t mind either way.
You couldn’t wait to tell him the good news.
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Alastor let some jazz tunes play as he looked over some scripts and news for his next segment. He stole a glance at the clock and got up from his chair, grabbing his jacket.
 It was lunch time.
He was headed home to spend his break with his wife.
A pleasant shiver ran through him at the thought of taking his sweet wife over the meal she prepared for him.
He had been fucking his wife nonstop since she mentioned children and the thought of her swollen with his child always sent his cock swelling.
He placed his hat and jacket on the couch as he made his way to the kitchen. He was greeted with the sight of you dressed fairly comfortable, not in your usual polished attire. Your hair was pinned up and wrapped, you were dressed in your silk robe, which was dropping off your shoulders, exposing them. You were humming as you washed the dishes.
You looked ravishing.
He crept up behind you, making you jolt when his long arms wrapped around your midsection. He pressed his lips to the junction of your neck, littering your shoulder and neck in kisses. “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes darlin” he drawled, nuzzling his nose into the underside of your jaw. You giggled as Alastor nipped at your skin, wiping your soapy hands on a towel you spun around to wrap your arms around his neck, leaning up to kiss his lips “Hello to you too dear. I hope you’re hungry. I made fish cakes. Dont want you too tired heavy with a full meal when you have to dazzle the masses”
A wide smile stretched across his face, eyes lidded “What if I just want dessert?” He jested as you swatted at his broad chest with a blush sprouting on your face.
“Oh shush! Sit down and eat” you huffed, shoving a plate into his chest.
Alastor chuckled and took the plate and moved to leaned over the kitchen island.
”Are you feeling ok my dear? Not that I mind, no, but you seem tired” he took a took a sip of tea, eyeing you.
You fidget with your fingers “I am feeling better, had a bit of a upset stomach this morning and paid the doctor a visit” you tried to hide your smile as his brows furrowed and dropped the cake to look you over like a worried hen.
His hands took yours as he frowned “you’re not coming down with anything are you? Why ain’t you page me at the studio i would have gladly took you.”
You leaned into his chest, smiling at him “weeelll i did come down with something and I fear i wont be rid of it anytime soon” oh you were torturing the poor man.
He had panic in his eyes as he was unaware of what it was. Wanting to remain strong and supportive for your sake.
”well whatever it is I will make sure to be there with you through it all” he declared.
Oh this was sweet.
”did the doctor tell you what it was at least?” He asked.
You smiled, catching him off guard, as you placed his hands on your stomach. Alastor was confused when you did so, his hands spanned along your stomach. You were a bit rounder but you did like sweets.
You watched as the realization dawned on his face. His jaw dropped and his brown eyes looked at your in shock. “A-are you…” you frantically nodded, unable to conceal your giggling as he wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you.
”Oh darling really? Youre..you’re really? Youre pregnant?” His voice grew excited.
”hehehe yes yes were having a baby! Alastor we are having a baby” your face was attacked in kisses. “Doc said im 12 weeks, looks like your resilience paid off” you giggled as your husband smoothed his hands over your stomach, crouching down as he laid his forehead against the bump.
”A-are you happy?” You couldn’t help but ask. He looked up at you, eyes shining and smile big “Oh baby you just don’t know.” He kissed your stomach, cooing, before kissing your lips. “You’ve made me the happiest. Almost like we got married all over again” he whispered against your lips.
He rested a hand on your stomach, caressing the bump. “Ooh I can’t wait to see how motherhood shapes you cher” he kissed your forehead, making you sigh lovingly.
Alastor had decided to page the studio to tell them something came up at home and the two of you spent the rest of the afternoon cuddled on the couch; Alastor had you tucked into his side as he stroked your stomach, already in love. The two of you had discussed what the next steps would be and how to move forward. 
All the sweetness and lovey-dovey led to the two of you giving into more sensual desires, really just enjoying each other and reestablishing the love between the two of you. 
You slipped your robe back on as you broke the heated kiss your husband had pulled you into. He groaned when you pulled away and went to get off his lap, hands kneading your hips. “Where you going sweetness” he purred as you giggled standing
”To freshen up. Since you’re home maybe we can really hunker down on what we gonna do for this baby mister” you said heading upstairs. Alastor pouted, listening to your footsteps move around. He got up and went to put up the lunch you made, he’ll take it with him when he’s out working late.
Speaking of which….he needed to spruce up a few loose ends he had been watching and would let to get those done before you needed all his attention.
He was confident in his ability to keep his sins away from your lives at home, after all he had crafted a beautiful reality here with you and he didn’t want that to be ruined by anything or anyone.
He whistled an old tune as he thought of you and a smile appeared on his face.
He was over the moon to find out you were pregnant. 
He couldn’t wait to see how motherhood treated you. 
To watch your body transform to provide for his child. How did he get so lucky to have a woman like you?
He wondered if you’ll have a boy or girl, he preferred a baby girl but he didn’t really care as long as you were happy.
After he cleaned up the kitchen he headed upstairs and Alastor swore his heart skipped a beat at the sight before him.
You were asleep on your side, one hand under your cheek and the other resting against the small baby bump, slowly stroking it. He threw a blanket over you and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. Satisfied that you were comfortable, he got his clothes from the other day from the closet and headed downstairs outback to wash his clothes.
It was gonna be a pain to get the stains out.
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Sooooo what do you guys think?? I hate im going so slow but i need to build up some plot lol. I promise Alastor gone slip up!!
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