#mun gets a lot of headaches and gets sick a lot

[pumpkinpuffgirls]

A Bubbles for each of my Moods

[whateverlaaaaa]

19th august, I forgot abt tumblr, again

after coming back from my beach trip, my first chairing experience, andddd I think thats all that has been happening since summer holiday starts fruitful, and a bit tense, holiday. I got my advanced open water license (PADI AOW), I did a night dive and went down 27 meters down the sea, and I must say night dive does hit different. The fear of not being able to see things clearly and how dark deep down the sea is, and not being familiar with the sea itself, scares me on some level, but I have seen countless videos and images when people go to night dive, both excitement and fear. it was great tho, 10/10 experience, definitely would do it again. if I have the chance, I would do the life saver license in the future.

throughout the license journey I got pretty burnt out (esp after I decide to take AOW) it felt like I was burnt out from studying but even worse because I was burnt out emotionally and physically, each day wasn't physically challenging for me but my body couldn't bear it everyday going down under the sea and bearing the water pressure, I started to have headaches and heavy breathing, it wasn't pleasant AT ALL, all I felt was "I hope this ends soon" and every dive becomes "I hope this dive ends soon"

but I did manage to slay the buoyancy, I manage to do PBP on a 1.3 meter depth, at the last day HAHA.

first chairing experience, well it wasn't much, but it was fun and as usual.

now I'm just focusing on my MUN conference on early September and my concert on October.

oh and I went back (still do) on writing. poems, thoughts, some turned to a diary instead but I came back on writing, and I miss this feeling.

oh and also I have a performance this saturday the 24th, at my uni. we're playing the greatest showman (which means a lot to me, I watched the movie way too many times that my parents are getting so sick of it, and my first cello performance was Never Enough, which was incredible(I mean the song not my performance) and im super excited to perform this song again), la la land(one of my all time best movies, I can't wait to perform as well, excruciating love story, just on my taste) and viva la vida (Coldplay classic, I love this arrangement over the one i played before)). simply lovely. counting down my summer holiday and starting uni, 33 days and 16 hours.

listening to: a look of confusion by reuben plays (im obsessed with café jazz recently, I found out it calms my anxiety)

attachment: a view of sunset at the holiday place

[xpeachesncream]

restart | eleven

↱ SEQUEL TO PERFECTLY WRONG  |  series masterlist ↰

summary: as you and taehyung start to build your life together post graduation, things become more complicated than what you expected it to be. while taehyung struggles with his inner demons, you’ve become the sole supporter, the pillar, juggling different jobs to keep you two afloat. your love for each other has been put to the test as your relationship continues to face hurdles - hurdles that have you questioning whether or not your relationship will make it through.

pairing: reader x fiancé!kth

genre: post grad au, established relationship au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.3k

warnings: cussing/mature language, angst, thoughts on overdrive, anxiety

notes: um, there’s about 3 chapters left ☹️ i won’t be taking drabble requests right away just to give myself a little break and work on bands for a bit, BUT-- i think i might be working on something else in the meantime? i’ll let you guys know lol ily a milli 💗

tags: @enchantaeduniverse​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @jeontier​ @jwlmnbt​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ra-mun-e @brightcolorsoffendme​ @jungcrookthecookbook​ @sunniejinnie​ @littlewolfieposts​ @vanntaesworld​ @thebeebi​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"Look, I—"

"No, Aiko. You know damn well I deserve to hear this from you too no matter what the outcome was. It takes two to tango." You step a little closer to her as you feel your bottom lip trembling. Just looking at her makes your stomach drop. You remember all the times that you felt insecure, and truly inferior especially after those nudes she used to send.

Fuck, Taehyung.

Maybe she was just always going to be a weakness for Tae, and that was it.

God, you want to hurl. But you keep yourself composed because it's here now. There's really no turning back.

"Hey." Jin gently squeezes your wrist and gives you a reassuring look. "It's okay." He mouths out.

"Do you have to be here while we do this?" Aiko shoots Jin a look.

"Of course I do. I'm not leaving her side. Why are you suddenly so shy when you've been sharing your nudes with everyone, let alone men in relationships?" Jin snaps back with that glare of his. But this didn't surprise you, Jin was always direct. He would never shy away from telling you like it is. All Aiko can do is roll her eyes at him before letting out a small sigh and bringing her attention back to you.

"Can we just cut to the chase here? I'm not exactly here to be friends." You say as calmly as possible. "Why did Taehyung come to see you?" Which, you curse yourself under your breath once you ask the question because why the fuck else would he come and see her? You were just too busy trying to sway away from the truth.

"He just asked to come see me. For specifics, I'm sure you and I both know what the intention was behind it." You feel sick, but you swallow the lump in your throat and slowly nod your head.

"So, um—"

"No, he didn't Y/N." She cuts you off and looks at you, her facial expression softening. "He didn't do it."

"W-what?"

"He came here and left. Said this was a mistake and that he would never do this to you." Jin's grip tightens around your wrist for whatever reason, you can't really decipher the signal right now. You honestly had a hard time believing her at the moment, and it has even gotten to the point where you think they've both created this story to tell you. However, when you look at her, her body language isn't defensive, nor does she seem like she's hiding anything. There's a small frown creeping up at the corners of her lips as she watches you.

She watches how you fiddle with your fingers, and how you always seem to swallow the lump in your throat every 5 seconds, slyly looking up to prevent the tears from coming down.

"O-oh."

"Look, I'm really sorry for having caused any trouble and I know I'm probably still not going to be on your favorites list for the way I acted with Jin—" She quickly looks at him. "And with Taehyung. But, if there's really one thing that I help with right now, I can tell you that he truly does love you." She tightens the way her arms are crossed close to her chest as she lets out another shaky sigh. "I know it's terrible that the thought was there for the both of us, but he would never do anything to hurt you. He can't. You mean too much to him, Y/N."

"I— don't really know what to say."

"He's set on you. There's no changing that for him." She says, and you can catch the hurt in her voice. The way her tone dips a little when she tells you there's no changing that for him. She still had feelings for him, and this shouldn't be anything new to you.

"Thanks." Aiko does nothing besides purse her lips into a tight line.

"Yup." You look at Jin, and he simply nods at Aiko before he's slightly pushing you to walk away from the door and down the stairs. But, before you could fully get yourself down a step, Aiko calls out for you both. "Hey."

"Hm?"

"He's lucky to have someone like you. I hope he learns from whatever he's going through." You take one last look at her before you silently head down the steps with Jin and situate yourself in his passenger seat.

"So, what now?" Jin asks as he drives off.

"I honestly don't know." The scene of him begging you not to go replays in your head and your heart shatters all over again. You don't know if you're upset with yourself or if you're still upset with him. Actually - yes, you still were upset with him because he had the fucking nerve. The fucking thought. You couldn't get over that. But part of you felt relieved knowing he didn't move forward with it? Or, that he was fucking smart enough at the very least to fix himself the very last minute.

"You can't avoid him forever."

"No, I know that. I just don't know what to say to him." You turn to Jin. "Is it really bad for me to want him to make this work? I don't wanna be the one that goes to him first, not after all of this. I'm tired. I just want to believe that he still wants me the same way he did before."

"I'm sure he hasn't changed."

"Jin, the thought still crossed his mind."

"I know and it's not okay whatsoever but I do have to give it to him for realizing it before."

"I don't know. I guess, yeah." You look down at your lap. "What if he just doesn't fix this? I'm scared of being upped and left again." The sudden thought of your ex popping up, along with all the nights you cried yourself to sleep - waking up with a pounding headache and dry eyes.

"He's not going to." Jin says reassuringly. "I really do believe he'll get this right, but just like you needed time, he does too. I know you had a hard time and a lot of things hurt you, but Taehyung had his own demons to battle and that's never easy. He's trying."

"Yeah." Is all you respond with.

"Do you need more clothes?"

"No, I don't think so. If anything I'll just ask one of the boys to grab me something."

"Okay." Jin continues to drive off and back to his apartment. You keep your gaze outside of the window until your phone vibrates in your lap.

[taehyung♡] 6:05pm: can we talk tonight? i know you might not be ready, but i honestly don't want to put this off any longer. i need to see you.

Your breathing hitches and Jin can feel that something has suddenly changed in your mood. You stare at your phone, unsure if you want to cry or if you're relieved to see Taehyung pop up on your screen. You wanna cry cause of course it still hurts to know the thought crossed his head; you'll never forget that for a second, Taehyung thought about risking everything you've built together just to feel wanted, needed, whatever the hell it was. For a second, he pushed you aside because he was ready to let Aiko back in.

But then you also are relieved because fuck, even if it hasn't been long, part of you felt like he was truly going to give up. That he wasn't going to try anymore. That he didn't think this was worth fixing. That you and him just weren't meant to be together. After all this, of course you still loved him. You loved him deeply - so, so deep, that thought of you without him is probably what hurts the most. He meant everything to you.

"What is it?"

"He wants to talk tonight."

"I'm telling you, you can't avoid him forever."

"Should I do it?"

"Are you ready to? Just because I say you can't avoid him forever doesn't mean you have to talk to him right at this moment, especially if you aren't ready." You look at Jin.

"This is so fucked up, because after everything, I still miss him. And I want to see him. I just don't know what I'd say though."

"Why don't you be honest about everything, yeah? How it made you feel, you confronting Aiko. Let him know that if this does work out, he'll really need to learn from it and understand how hurt you were."

"I know."

"So are you going to see him?"

"Yeah, I think so." Your hands became clammy as you picked up your phone and responded.

[y/n] 6:11pm: yeah, sure.

[taehyung♡] 6:13pm: is it okay if i pick you up from jin hyung's?

[y/n] 6:15pm: yeah, that's fine.

[taehyung♡] 6:16pm: be there in about 15 minutes.

As soon as you put your phone down, Jin is turning into his parking garage and parking into his assigned spot. You quietly walk up the steps, feeling the anxiety settle in. How was this night going to go? Were you going to have to move your stuff out permanently? Move in with Jin or Jungkook until you could figure things out? You already felt terrible enough having spent these past nights in Jin's bed while he slept out on the couch. He insisted he was fine with it, but still.

What if Taehyung really just wanted to talk to tell you that this was done?

Fuck.

Your anxiety is bubbling in your stomach as the minutes go by, 15 minutes seemingly coming a lot slower than it usually does on any other given day. But, it eventually comes and it comes by Taehyung texting you that he's downstairs. You zip up your jacket, fixing up your appearance just a teeny bit because this was still Taehyung. Jin is eating dinner as he waves you off, setting your bowl aside on the kitchen counter for you to eat later when you get back [if you're hungry].

You feel your pulse on your neck, and your ears are slightly ringing because of how nervous you are. You catch a glimpse of him through the lobby doors and you instantly feel weak, and you fucking hated that effect he had on you. He looks at you as you near the passenger door, slipping yourself in without making much eye contact.

"Hey." He says softly as he drives off.

"Hey."

"You eat already?"

"Nope, haven't been too hungry." His heart sinks at the statement.

"Let me know if you want me to stop by anywhere afterwards to get you some food."

"I'll be fine, thanks." You say, keeping your eyes on the passing view outside of the passenger window. The ride is awfully quiet, nothing but the thoughts in your head making noise. You realize he's taking you down towards the nearby beach, parking his car in front of the ocean view. When he shifts the gear to park and shuts off his lights, he slightly sinks in his seat and lets out a sigh.

"Y/N." He says, breaking the silence. You slightly turn your head towards him, eyeing him every now and then through your peripherals. "I'm sorry." He says, close to a whisper as his head drops and he begins to cry.

"Do you even know what you're sorry for, Taehyung?" You ask, your voice cracking when you look at him to see how torn up he is.

"Baby, of course I do." He looks at you through his teary eyes. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for ever making you question your worth, I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble and pain while all you've done was be there for me. I'm just.. sorry for not being there when I should have been. I should have never let you go through this alone."

"You have no idea how it's been all this time. I was your fiancé, Taehyung. I was trying to be there for you through everything you were feeling, experiencing, whatever it was. I tried. And all you did was push me aside and you still ended up pointing your fingers at me. Almost cheating on me, even? The thing that feels so unforgivable and so painful is the fact that for a second, you really believed risking everything we've built together was worth it."

"I know and I fucked up. That was on me, 100%. I let everything get to the best of me and I was too dumb to see it right away. I fully acknowledge it and I never want to make you feel that way again. I miss you so much. You being away has been so difficult because I feel empty without you. It's been hard to be without you because I never pictured myself to be without you. I still can't."

"We were planning to get married, Tae." You begin to softly cry. "This isn't something you do when you get married to someone and build that life together with them. You can't—" You wipe your tears with a quick pause. "You can't just run off expecting things to be okay after they get brushed under the rug. How are we supposed to have a family together, grow old together, if we can't even fix these kinds of issues together?"

"Baby, I'm ready to do this with you. It's been a hell of a ride and I'm learning as I go. I know I haven't been perfect, or the best fiancé, but know I'm learning from this because I want to be the best for you and give you the world like you rightfully deserve. I'm so, so sorry, my love." He responds, wiping his tears in between before reaching for your hand and grabbing it. He brings your hand to his lips and presses a kiss against it, causing your heart to flutter. "I love you so much, I'm not giving up on us. I want to do better and you help me be a better man every day that we're together."

"I just want you to understand how much of a toll this took on me and our relationship. You really hurt me, and all I hope is that you do learn from this and become better from it. I love you so much, but I can't always save you. I can be there for you, but sometimes you have to help yourself and I don't know what I'll do if I have to go through this again."

"I know. And I said I wanted to do better, I'm gonna do this for us. I don't want to do this with anyone else. I'm ready to do this ride with you." You don't really have anything else to say, because you feel like you've made your point time and time again. Now, you just didn't know if you'd take this leap of faith again and trust him, or if you should let it be. You simply lean over to wipe his tears, but he keeps your palm against his cheek, pressing a kiss against it as he leans into your touch. "I'm in love with you, Y/N. More than you'll ever know." You sit back into your seat and give him a tiny smile before letting out a breath. You were nervous for what you were about to say, but you needed to say it. You just needed to be honest. This is what this time was about.

"I went to see Aiko earlier." His eyes shoot right at yours, but he doesn't say anything. "She told me you didn't do anything and that you left." You slightly nodded. "It's gonna be hard for me to let that go. But I hope you understand that I want to be the person you go to if things get rough, no one else. I want you to confide in me and tell me what you need so I can better provide. I don't want my man to be running off to someone else because they feel like they can't get a certain feeling or emotion reciprocated, especially without discussing the issue."

"I know, love. I know. I understand and hear you. I'm going to show you that you're the only one that matters to me, and I'll never make you doubt yourself ever again." You sigh and nod. He leans over to kiss you on the forehead, but retreats back to his seat without kissing you anywhere else because he still felt the need to give you space. The kiss sent shivers down your spine though, and it only really solidified the fact that he was the only one you still wanted. "I—um, talked with my parents."

"You did?" You ask softly. For some reason, this was something you weren't expecting to hear. You truly and honestly didn't think Tae was ever gonna try to mend his relationship with his parents, but this showed you that he wanted to try - with you and with them. Hopefully, at least.

"Yeah. I stayed there for a bit." He slightly smiles. "I'm gonna start working with my dad next week. We've been trying to do a lot to mend our relationship and spend more time together."

"I'm happy to hear that, Tae. I really am."

"Thank you for always pushing me to do better with them. There's a lot on their side that I had yet to better understand and vice versa."

"Of course." You say softly as you look at him. He was still the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on, even under the moonlight.

"Do you wanna head back to Jin hyung's now?"

"Sure. I think I've said what I needed to say."

"Come home, please." He says softly as he begins to drive off. "I want to work on mending us, and our relationship."

"I—I don't know. I want this, I do. But I think I just need time to process this? I don't really know. I have to be honest, I'm scared."

"That's okay, I understand. You have every right to feel that way, but I'll show you that you don't have to be. You know you're always welcome to come back whenever you're ready though, baby." But fuck, everything about this makes you so weak. You really did want to go back home and work on this. You just wanted to be with him. You were just scared. There's really no other way to put it. Scared of getting hurt, scared of falling into another trap.

The rest of the ride is quiet again, but it's obvious that the both of you feel a little better getting things off of your chest and talking things out. It didn't mean that everything was fixed though, but you could at least say you both were on the same page of working this out and fixing your relationship. And even though you weren't going home with him that minute, Taehyung can't help but feel hopeful that this will work out in the end. He wanted to do right by you, and he was going to. He was going to fix this, marry you, have a family with you, grow old with you - he was gonna do whatever it took to get you both back on track.

When you unbuckle your seatbelt, you turn to face Taehyung. He simply gives you a tiny, toothless smile before cupping your cheeks and kissing your forehead, then nose.

"I love you, babygirl." He kisses your nose once more, thumb lightly caressing your cheek. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." You respond before quickly hopping out to prevent yourself from crying even more. You don't turn back and simply head into the elevators up to Jin's floor, straggling tears able to leave your eyes and lightly stain your cheeks.

"How was it?"

"Good, I think."

"What's the plan moving forward?" Jin asks as he leans onto the kitchen counter, watching you wipe your tears and nose.

"I think I'm gonna go home."

even when i'm on my own, i'm never alone and the silence sounds so loud, i'm feeling bound by the words i can't get out

track six: me and my mind - jazz morley

[angel-bubbles]

Morning cutie! How are you feeling? I’m gonna work from home again today, even if you’re feeling okay. You should still have someone looking after you while you get your energy back. And I know I don’t have to, I want to.

It seemed like the soup yesterday helped a little. Or at least it seemed to cheer you up. There’s plenty of leftovers in the fridge. I’m just happy you were able to get some rest in. Did you sleep okay last night? I checked your forehead, you were pretty warm.

Maybe we’ll just cuddle up and watch tv today so you can keep resting. My dad and I would always watch game shows when I was home sick in grade school.

- Geordi

(Mun: Hope you’re feeling better!)

morning love :) i’m feeling a bit better, definitely still have a pretty bad headache and just feel kinda gross to be honest. but a lot less gross than yesterday, which i’m thankful for. are you sure you’re okay to work from home two days in a row? having you around is nice, i just don’t want to inconvenience you honey. i know it can be easy to get distracted here, especially when you’re worrying about me. and don’t even try to deny it i heard your brain bouncing around yesterday.

the soup was really good, thank you for that by the way. i’ll definitely be heating some up today. i slept okay, i’ve said it a million times but… when i’m next to you i sleep a lot better. so you being there helped a lot more than i think you realize. was i? i guess that explains why i was shivering most the night, even despite you and the heated blanket keeping me nice and warm.

i would like that :) i love cuddling up and watching cheesy game shows with you. listening to you think about what the answers could be is always so much more entertaining than the show itself.

love you geordi :) thank you. for being here.

-cutie :)

(mun! i think i’m on the mend, hopefully at least :) thank you!! i hope you’re taking care of yourself!)

[cravingmarvel]

When We Were Young - Part Three

Pairing: Bucky Barnes AU x Fem!Reader, Steve Rogers AU x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Reader being confused ab feelings but what’s new, 

Summary: Friends since they can remember and falling in love like they’re meant to. But sometimes life just isn’t what you expected. People making decisions, mistakes and saying things they shouldn’t when they’re young. When it comes to love, someone always gets hurt. Always.

A/N: Wow ok, first of all, let me just say a huge massive thank you to Mun ( @buckisthatyou​ ) and Ari ( @shurisneakers​ ) for giving me advice, criticism and wise words I needed. Without these two, this chapter wouldn’t exist now and I appreciate their opinion so so much! 🥺 Thank you all for waiting for this one I know it’s a little overdue but I have a pretty clear plan on where I want to take this series! This is part three of @spideywhiteys 1k writing celebration STILL! lmao sorry I’m dragging this out so much, love u!

As always, please reblog and comment! Enjoy!

Masterlist // Bucky Barnes Masterlist

When We Were Young – Part Three

I swallowed the painkiller, hoping for the pounding headache to be gone faster. Although I haven’t had anything to drink at the engagement party, Steve and I drowned our heads with multiple glasses of whiskey as the hours went on and now, I pay the price for it.

Perhaps the fact that what I had said to Bucky didn’t grand me a lot of seep adds to the hammering in my head. After getting to my hotel, my night was spend tossing and turning, tangling the sheets with my limbs, hoping that a change of position would pull me to sleep faster. Now that morning has arrived, I feel the lack of sleep mangling with my hangover, mixing in my head to form the worst headache I’ve ever experienced.

I laid back in the bed, covering my body with the soft duvet, ready to take this day as an opportunity to sleep and rest my body, before I have to catch my flight first thing in the morning.

My phone started ringing on the nightstand and I groaned, unplugging my phone from the charger and looking at the caller ID: unknown. I picked up waiting for the person on the other end to start talking.

“Y/n? This is Bucky.”

I sat up immediately, shocked to hear his voice. I knew it was him the moment he said my name. “Hey.”

“I’d like to invite you for coffee and lunch if you’d like. Just wanted to talk, y’know?”

Images of last night flashed through my head and it seemed no secret to me what he wanted to talk about. I looked out of the window to my right contemplating whether it would be a good idea to sit down with him, alone. The sun peaked through the spaces between the buildings as I had laid in bed lazily. It wouldn’t be such a bad idea to get out of this room and walk through the city, maybe even meet with Bucky.

“Sure, why not.” I replied.

“Great, uh, there’s a café called ‘bloom’ do you know it, or should I send you the location?”

“No, I can manage.”

“Great, great. So, see you there? In an hour?” Bucky questioned and I noticed the distraction in his voice and the noises in the back, he must be busy.

“Great, see you.” Not wanting to keep him occupied longer we said goodbye and I hung up, sitting in bed for a moment before it dawned on me. I’m going to lunch with Bucky, the man I had just yesterday confessed my love to.

Without wasting any time, I got ready quickly, putting on a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt, tugging it in. I opted for a green jacket and matching coloured sneakers, ready to leave.

Pulling up the place Bucky had told me about on google maps, I grabbed my bag and walked down the many streets the gps guided me through. I had hoped he would’ve forgotten about last night and the disaster that occurred, but I hoped wrong. My nerves were growing the closer I got, and I couldn’t ignore my hands shaking, the sweat collecting on my palms.

I saw the café in the distance, scrambling up the little confidence I have and taking a deep breath in before I opened the glass door.

The small place Bucky chose was adorable, walls painted pastel pink, flowers hanging from the ceiling with strings of lightbulb shaped fairy lights. Not a place I would’ve pictured him in back in the day. I’m sure young Bucky would have make fun of the Victorian windows or the uniforms of the waiters. He wouldn’t be able to shut his mouth about it for at least a day.

I slowly looked around the room, scanning the many faces to recognize one of them as his and as I walked in further, anxiously playing with the strap of my handbag, I finally spotted him further into the room and he jumped up from his seat by the wall, a small smile gracing his lips as soon as he locked eyes with me.

All the confidence I gathered outside evaporated into thin air immediately as I reached him, unsure of what to do now.

I smiled back at him as he leaned forward to pull me into a hug. The embrace lasted seconds. If he held me this close – too close – any longer I would have moulded into his body, became one with his fingers on my back, tight muscles on his chest melted together as one. But, seconds later as we parted, I felt the air flow steadily back into my lungs.

As I sat down the weight of the moment rested on my shoulders. I haven’t sat down with Bucky like this in a long, long time, but although all these years stood between today and the last time I had seen him did nothing to the familiarity of the moment.

“What would you like, it’s on me.” He spoke as a waiter approached us and I looked at the menu briefly, catching my attention back.

“Welcome to bloom, what can I get for you?” The waiter smiled down at us. It has been a while since I had eaten anywhere else outside of my own café, the pressure of being ungodly kind a little odd from a costumer perspective.

“I’ll take a cappuccino and a grilled cheese on toast, please.” I said to him as he wrote my order down. Bucky gave the man his order, an Americano and a salad, and the waiter walked away to another table.

“I remember you eating those at my house all the time.” Bucky laughed. “Always wondered when you would get sick of them.”

“I don’t think I ever will, and your mom always made it impossible to refuse her famous grilled cheese. Can’t imagine anyone not loving your moms cooking.”

“Well, Nat rather eats at restaurants so.” Bucky shifted in his seat, clearing his throat. “Anyway.”

The awkward atmosphere carried on into an awkward silence on both parts. Bucky wiping his hands on his jeans every once in a while, looking around like he’s just as uncomfortable as me.

“So, how have you been? Steve told me you own his mom’s café now.” Bucky asked, breaking through the silence floating between us.

I nodded as our waiter came over with our order, putting our coffee and food down, smiling politely. “Thanks.” I said in an almost whisper, smiling back at him before he disappeared as quickly as he got here. “Yeah, I knew it was the right thing to do. I love that place and I have an employee, Jenna. She’s great.”

Bucky flashed me another smile. “That’s great.”

“So, how’s Hydra?” I asked as I took a bite of my toast.

“Good, good. Been… really stressful, y’know, with the wedding and all. Sorry.” A smile that didn’t reach his eyes, followed by a laugh that sounded more like a giggle. Still without feelings, but reassuring, nonetheless.

“No, it’s fine.” A heat rose to my cheeks that I tried to hide by taking a sip from my coffee hiding behind the cup. “I wanted to talk to you about what I said last night. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Y/n, it’s fine.”

“No, that- that was when we were young. Back then.”

Bucky let his head hang, looking down to his lap. “Oh, ok yeah. I wanted to apologize anyway for what happened. I didn’t know how I felt towards you. We’ve been friends for so long that I thought it was the right thing to feel, then I met Nat.” Bucky looked back up at me and I wished he would just drop it already. “I’m sorry, for everything.”

“It’s fine.” I said a little too harsh, forcing a smile.

The waiter came back to our table once again, thankfully. “Is everything alright here?”

“Sure, yeah. Tastes great.” I said to him truthfully. The food and even the coffee did taste great, but it did make me think about my café. Obviously, nothing compares to Mrs. Rogers original coffee blend.

“Y/n, I wanted to ask.” Bucky pulled something from his jacket and laid it on the table between us. “It’s an invitation to the wedding. I really want you to come.”

“Bucky, I-“

“I’ll pay for the hotel and everything else you desire. I just need my best friend there with me.”

Best friend. At this moment I didn’t feel like his best friend, sure back then I was. Back then we would have never been this awkward, but now with all this time between us I wouldn’t call this a friendship even. A part of me wanted to decline, to get up and walk out, but another part told me to accept.

Sure, we’re not the best of friends, but we were a long time ago. I took the grey envelope, staring at it. “Ok, I’ll come, but you don’t have to pay for anything.” I looked up and for the first time since I sat down, Bucky showed a genuine bright smile.

We ate our food and surprisingly, Bucky was the one reminiscing on the old days. He recalled the day we met for the first time, saving me from those bullies. “If I hadn’t been there to save you, Y/n, you would have been screwed!”

“Oh, as if!” I looked at Bucky who raised his eyebrows at me. “Alright yeah.” Rolling my eyes at him in response, I took another sip of my coffee.

We continued to laugh at the time he saw that I had gown boobs over the winter, how poor Bucky was so flustered he couldn’t even say ‘boobs’ without stuttering over every letter. We laughed so hard, we had to cover our mouths because of all the stares from the people around us.

I noticed the stares from a few people not at our loudness but at the silver reflecting the sun rays. It was no doubt that they were staring at his left arm. It’s not like we’re kids anymore, being fascinated by the metal prosthetic.

“How’s the arm?” I asked, looking at the exposed hand.

“It’s doing alright, Stark’s thinking about replacing this one though. Something a little less reflecting.” We erupted in laughter as Bucky turned his hand to cast a blinding reflection at the ceiling. “That and Nat is a little freaked out by it.”

“Why?” I knitted my eyebrows together.

“Well, she just wants something less attention grabbing.” Bucky looked into my eyes and without him having to say it, I knew how much it actually hurt him, despite brushing it off as a joke. He was always bad at playing up a façade, his eyes giving away everything that needed to be said, calling him out almost. It was his weakness. Not the arm, but his eyes. Luckily for him, only a few figured this out, the language his deep blue eyes spoke.

We steered the conversation back to something more cheerful, catching up on our very different experiences of uni. Steve has already filled him in on all the shenanigans we got up to. It was this, the past, that had awoken a lightness from a seemingly decade long sleep, to rise between us. Rivalling the sun, begging for a moment in the spotlight.

It must’ve been around noon as we finished our food and coffee. Bucky asked me if I wanted something else, but I knew that I had to leave, to end this right here. But a desire for him to ask again, to keep me in his company withheld my answer.

I needed to call Jenna, I said to him and he nodded in response. We stood outside the café saying our goodbyes before parting ways.

I walked down the street, pulling my phone out of my handbag, dialling Jenna’s number

The sun set behind the buildings of London, declaring the end of another day and another day done for Y/n. The calm pace of the city didn’t match that of the growing crowd in Captain’s Coffee Cup. Hectic customers running in ordering coffee to go and leaving just as quickly with their paper cups in hand, dispersing into the streets.

For Y/n it meant that she had to be quick on her feet, almost transporting to different places in an alarming pace. She had no explanation on hand as to why it was so busy that day, a weekday, but morning to evening busy all the same. It’s indeed worse on the weekend and every Saturday she woke with her back and knees already screaming in pain.

The constant switching between taking orders, making them and bringing the ones to the table that were enjoying their coffee in the café. Y/n could not decide if her feet hurt more than her back or vice versa. Being the only waitress and barista made for an interesting challenge and she had no idea what losing Steve as a partner would mean.

But as the day finally came to an end, she thanked the sun for going down after all. Y/n was busy cleaning tables, putting up chairs, cleaning the floors and the bar on top of all the things she needed to do at the end of another shift. After three hours of resetting the events that occurred at the café, she was glad to take her apron off.

A tiny detail Y/n almost always forgot was the paperwork, so with a huff and a groan, she took herself to the back and into the office to do the managing side of the job that she hated.

And upon almost falling asleep on the desk, an idea struck her, hiring someone would take away half the work Steve did. Someone who would help her out without doing the paperwork.

So, she got right to work and wrote down on paper an ad for the position.

Y/n hung the ad on the door of the café in hopes that someone walking down the streets would see it and apply, that even just one applicant would help her out.

But that’s not what happened. Seemingly a dozen applications were either handed to her personally or ended up in her mailbox. Y/n had a hard time believing that so many would consider working at the café, but she was indeed grateful.

After work she piled through the applications and that’s when it dawned on her; she had no idea who or what qualifications she was looking for. Y/n has never been a leader, someone to tell other people what to do. The challenge of finding people to work for her ended up being quite a difficult task, but she took in on, nonetheless.

Y/n narrowed it down to ten applicants, inviting them to an interview, day after day a new person to question and day after day another one eliminated. Y/n was sure to give up at this point, the process taking more time than expected, but that day Jenna walked in, second to last applicant to be interviewed.

Y/n saw it as she sat down with Jenna that she was send from god herself. Experience in both being a waitress and a barista, but the best part was, she knew how to manage a café and that was a quality none of the other applicants had.

Beside her qualifications, she was sunshine personified. Bright and motivating, both headstrong and polite. Y/n couldn’t have wished for anyone better than Jenna and the qualifications translated from paper better than expected.

Soon Y/n and Jenna became close friends after working four months together. It was more a partnership than Jenna ever being an employee. She brought something to the table that Y/n wanted to learn from and quickly realized that instead of bossing her around, she could open her ears and listen to what she suggests, open her eyes and watch her work to learn more.

Because after all, Jenna was the one with more experience and Y/n appreciated the bond that formed, hanging out after work sometimes a bottle of alcohol between them as they sat on the counter talking for hours on end.

It was one of those nights, a bottle of rather expensive liquor, a luxury they could afford and talking about university. Jenna telling her about the shenanigans she had done in her days, but she always knew she wanted to work at a café, despite the reputation. Jenna confessed to her, her wish of having a café of her own and Y/n’s heart bloomed.

It was getting late and Y/n offered to call a cab for Jenna, but she declined.

“My girlfriend is picking me up.” She said as she put her coat on, throwing her purse over her shoulder as the little bell over the door chimed.

A petite woman walked in, confidence in her step. Her hair free laying atop her shoulders, her skin a dark tone of ebony just like Jenna’s. She smiled as Jenna walked towards her, pulling her into a tight hug, followed by a kiss.

“Y/n, this is my girlfriend, Dina.” Jenna said turning, keeping her hand on Dina’s back.

Y/n was slightly confused but still shook her hand introducing herself. It wasn’t the shock that Jenna was gay, it was that she had never mention Dina. Y/n was never one to judge, that much she learned from life. It was the fact that Y/n worried Jenna couldn’t confine in her about her relationship, but it wasn’t that, Jenna said to her later, she needed confirmation that she could trust Y/n completely.

Y/n went home that night thinking about the trip to New York she would endure in a month time. If only she had a love like Jenna and Dina, the happiness they radiated was something Y/n has never experienced. The only thing she could compare to that kind of love was the love she had for the café.

“Hey Y/n, what’s up?” Jenna spoke on the other end and I was so glad to hear her voice again.

“Hey, sorry didn’t think about time zones.” I laughed as I remembered that it must be around eight pm in London, afraid to be intruding her night time routine.

“No problem I’m just in the bath. So, what’s going on in New York?”

“Well, I went to the engagement party and it didn’t go all too well.” I sighed into the phone, slowly strolling along the buildings beside me. The was no need to pretend I had called for another reason in the first place.

“Oh god, what happened? What did he do?”

“No, it’s more something I did.” I bit my lip, knowing full well she wouldn’t be too impressed with my confession or the reason why I called her. Jenna was silent waiting for me to go on. “Well, I kinda told him that I loved him, back then of course I’m not that big of an idiot.”

“Oh, shit.” She blurted out.

“Yeah, and now he asked me to stay here to attend the wedding as well.” My feet carried me along the sidewalk without me thinking about it. The headache forming back again in my brain made the sun shining between the concrete skyscrapers a curse.

“What are you going to do?” Her voice sounding more concerned on the other end.

“I told him I’ll attend the wedding, but if you need me at the café I’ll catch the next flight-“

“No.” Jenna said, interrupting me through my stutter of words and excuses. I stopped walking, giving her my full attention. “It’s not that, I’m just worried about you digging yourself a deeper hole.”

“What do you mean?”

Jenna exhaled. “Every time you talked about Bucky the feelings you had for him didn’t seem to be in the past. I’m worried you’re doing him a favour that will break your heart.”

I felt bad, dragging her into my life like this, having her worry about my life when she had her own to live. I picked up my pace again, dragging my feet along the sidewalk. “But maybe this is a good way for me to end this chapter. To move on with my life because frankly, Bucky is in love with Natasha and I can’t just run away pretending that she never happened.”

“Maybe, but don’t get too involved. Go to the wedding, have fun and then go back to your life. If you want I could come to New York and ask Dina to-“

It was my time to interrupt her. “No, I can’t ask that of Dina.” I shook my head.

“Ok, fine, but Dina is helping me out at the café anyway, been stressful alone, don’t know how you managed to do it so long.” Jenna chuckled and I heard the admiration in her voice, filling my chest with pride.

“Yeah, me neither, but let me pay her for her work, I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.” I knew Dina would refuse, but I just couldn’t let her work for nothing. That woman has more energy that Jenna and I combined, and her kindness shouldn’t be just swept under the rug.

“Alright, take care of yourself, Y/n. Enjoy New York, you deserve it.”

“Thank you, Jenna. Tell Dina ‘hi’ from me and ‘thank you’.”

“Will do, bye.”

I stuffed my phone back into my purse, seeing Steve’s apartment building to my right. I was about to ring the doorbell as a man stepped out of the building, letting me in and I walked up the few flights of stairs to his apartment. The closer I got to his door, the clearer the loud voices became.

I got to the door and the voices got louder, my brows furrowed together as I heard a woman shouting just as loud as the other, I recognized instantly as Steve. Unsure of what to do, I stood opposite the door, waiting for an idea to strike me, but I just didn’t know what to do.

The door flew open and a blonde woman I recognize from the photo Steve sent me all these years ago as Sharon walked out of the apartment, her head burning red with anger and Steve behind her in the living room. She stormed down the stairs without so much so as a glance towards me.

I walked in carefully, a little scared. “Hey, Steve.” I said quietly to catch his attention and announce my arrival, but not startle him.

Steve turned around to me. “Y/n.” His tone undefining, unfeeling.

I couldn’t help thinking that coming over unannounced wasn’t the best idea I had. Steve walked around the couch, sitting down, letting his head fall back. He looked defeated, hair messily framing his face, brows furrowed together.

“Do you want to talk about what just happened?” I started to play with the zipper of my jacket out of uncomfortableness.

“No, I don’t.” Steve said with a deep exhale, not as angry anymore, his face and body relaxing.

An awful silence filled the room, me standing in the middle of it, looking around the room I was in just last night, drinking away my problems. The sun started to slowly creep behind the buildings marking the end of another day.

Today seems to be full of awkward silence.

“God, I’m sorry, do you want something to drink?” Steve said suddenly, making me jump. He got up from the couch walking over to the kitchen.

I followed him, putting my bag on the couch on the way. “Steve, it’s ok. I can get something myself.” I smiled up at him, trying to dissolve some of the awkwardness.

He sat down on one of the chairs at the breakfast bar and I opened the fridge taking a carton of juice out. With my back turned to him I stared pouring the juice in a glass I found in one of the cupboards. “Bucky invited me to the wedding, guess I’ll be staying for a little longer.”

I put the carton back into the fridge and turned to Steve, watching as his eyebrows shot up. “Are you really going? And what about the café?”

“First of all, yes and second of all, Jenna and her girlfriend Gina are taking care of the café.” Steve tilted his head in confusion and I almost forgot that he didn’t know about them. “Jenna’s my employee and Dina’s her girlfriend, been a huge help since we’re kinda popular around London.” I explained to him with pride, my chin tilting up.

“I’m really happy to hear that. And if you need a date for that wedding, I’ll sacrifice myself.”

We both laughed and I couldn’t believe how many years were between us. The amount of time that passed without hearing from another. The things he didn’t know about me nor the café. The popularity it gained over that period of time. But what hurt me the most was the fact that I didn’t know a lot about him, what he had been through.

“Aren’t you the best man?” I questioned.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t bring a date.”

I turned my head away from Steve. It’s been swept under the rug that we had a slight romance in the past but that seemed to be where it belongs, the past. My mind wandered off to the possibilities of being his date for the wedding. It would make me appear less lonely, having someone by my side that I’ve known for years. It would hopefully distract me a little from the event at hand.

I looked back to Steve, watching me with curious eyes. My lips curled up to a smile I couldn’t hold in. “Sure, why not?”

Steve walked around the breakfast bar, wrapping his arms around me. I wanted to ask, to clarify the intention behind the question. The words laying on my tough, breath and tones, but they couldn’t find their way out.

I’ve heard of this before. A book, a poem, what they call love, but in my reality, this translates to heartache.

-

[diabolikal-eve]

23 👀

Shizuka: Aah-- My head hurts… *coughs* There's no way I'm sick again.

Mun!Peachie: Shizuka gets sick quite often, and it got worse once she started living with the Mukamis due to how often they drank her blood, so her defenses are down all the time.  When Shizuka is sick, she feels very weak and dizzy, and feels like the world is spinning around her when standing up. She sneezes and coughs a lot, as well as she also suffers from headaches.

~ Español Undercut ~

23: cómo actúan cuando están enfermos

Shizuka: Ahh-- Me duele la cabeza... *tose* No puede ser que esté enferma de nuevo.

 Mun!Peachie: Shizuka se enferma bastante a menudo, y empeoró cuando comenzó a vivir con los Mukamis debido a lo frecuente que tomaban de su sangre, por lo que sus defensas están bajas todo el tiempo.  Cuando está enferma, se siente muy débil y mareada cuando está parada, y siente que el mundo gira a su alrededor. Estornuda y tose mucho, así como también sufre dolores de cabeza.

[lxnleybatbxy]

update on sick mun🙃;

symptoms include

runny nose

sneezing

swollen throat/hard time swallowing

sinus pressure and head pressure

dehydrated (i’ve been drinking a lot of water though)

hard time breaking normal too

headaches

body aches

I’m getting a Covid test tomorrow and i’m so scared to do it...I thought I hated being sick before...this pandemic has made me hate it even more and it gives me anxiety now when i get sick...

[tacitusauxilium]

Angst/Comfort/Fluff Marie/Fuuka drabble for mun

Marie rolled her eyes, as she watched Shinjiro and Fuuka argue again, finish with nothing resolved (as usual), and Shinjiro leaving their apartment, with Fuuka moping. Every week they argue about the same thing. Shinjiro’s kidneys and liver are failing, thanks to the pills from Takaya, and he’s insistent on not doing anything about it. Meaning he’d die. And he’s oddly content with that. Fuuka well, isn’t.

She honestly wondered for a while what did Fuuka see in him? Cause all he brings is headaches. Fuuka and her are rooming, and Shinjiro, while being Fuuka’s boyfriend, didn’t tend to stay; mostly because Marie managed to make him leave.

Marie doesn’t hate Shinjiro. When he’s not in his brooding moods, he can be someone worthwhile to talk to. But whenever he’s brooding (which is…a lot, unfortunately), he’s just intolerable, and she’s talked about it with Fuuka before. To no surprise, Fuuka insists on ‘changing him’.

Marie blatantly told her “Teal, you don’t change people like him. They’re damaged goods.”

Just hearing those words almost made Fuuka slap Marie. She held back…on principle. “You don’t know him Marie-chan.”

Marie rolled her eyes, almost tempted to scoff. “Yeah Teal. I do. We both know it’s an excuse, because you don’t want to admit that-“

“-It’s late, and I don’t want to discuss this.” Fuuka was quick to interrupt, though Marie could see Fuuka vividly shaking, and nearly holding back from tearing up. “So, if you EXCUSE ME Marie-chan.” Fuuka stormed off and slammed the door to her room shut and locked it.

Marie sighed. She rubbed her temples, annoyed. ‘For all your genius Teal, you can be incredibly naïve…you don’t ‘fix’ people. End of story.’

Fuuka didn’t talk to her for a week, and even then, conversations weren’t long. Marie was honestly getting sick of the cold shoulder treatment. She wasn’t the villain in this, and she didn’t have to take this treatment from Fuuka. She can love Shinjiro all she wants, but ‘fixing’ him is not something she’s obligated to do in the first place. If he wants to die, that’s on him, not her.

“Teal, I want to talk.”

“Not now Marie-chan.”

Oh, she knows that tone. The ‘I know where this is going, and I don’t want it’ tone. Too bad Marie is having none of that today.

Before Fuuka could enter her room, Marie flicked her fingers. A strong gust of wind shut the door. “I’m not giving you an option.” Marie spoke colder this time. She motions to the sofa.

Fuuka was tempted to tell her no. Out of daring, she tried to open the door to her room. Locked. …Must have locked it with the wind.

Defeated, and slightly angered, Fuuka storms to the sofa and sits, glaring at Marie. “What is it Marie-chan?” the irritation in her voice practically screams ‘get over with it already.’

Marie decided to just get to the point. “We didn’t finish the discussion last week. You know, the one you cut me off cause ‘you didn’t want to discuss it’.”

Fuuka nods “Well there you go; I don’t want to discuss.” Of course, Marie would bring that up. Fuuka didn’t want to hear whatever Marie has to say. Its not her problem to begin with.

“Well I do.” Marie deadpanned, tempted to do a mocking tone. She held back. “Because I’m worried-“

“Oh, NOW you’re concerned?” Fuuka retorts before Marie can even finish; and rather angrily at that. “Because last I checked, Shinjiro-kun is not YOUR boyfriend.”

Marie didn’t care for the glare, and only crosses her arms in return. “Worried about YOU, Teal. Not him. YOU.”

Fuuka grimaced, partially guilty for snapping like that…but still on-edge. “I’m doing fine Marie-chan.”

“Except that you’re not.” Marie rebuts. “You’re more exhausted than you’ve ever been, and I know its not because of Crimson. She works you hard, but not hard enough to literally zap away the enthusiasm out of you. You force yourself to eat, and sometimes you even forget to bathe. I have to freaking remind you. You’re not adulting very well Teal.”

Fuuka bit her lip, knowing where this was going. “And I thank you for that Marie-chan, but I’m doing-“

“You need to drop the ‘fix’ act on Hobo, or just dump him.”

And there it is. The smoking gun that Fuuka didn’t want to hear. Fuuka trembled, the anger inside her, the stress and anxiety from the last few weeks of arguing with Shinjiro, Mitsuru’s constant work stress, Marie’s nagging…its all started to boil inside her in an ugly way.

Between wanting to throw something at Marie (the jar right now looks tempting), and tackling her, Fuuka decided to not…do either of those. She just glared at Marie harder, practically fuming. “My relationship with Shinjiro is not your business Marie-chan. Stay out of it.” That last part came out more as a threat than anything else.”  

But Marie wasn’t going to have any of Fuuka’s excuses, or empty threats as is. The situation is at its breaking limit, and if Marie can’t make Fuuka understand now, then she never will. “Except that it is.” Marie deadpanned, not fazed by Fuuka’s mild attempt at a threat. “We’re roommates in case you forgot. We have each other’s backs, and if someone is falling, we help the other back up. And right now- “ Marie points at Fuuka “You Teal, are gonna hit the floor hard by taking on more than you can handle.”

Not that Fuuka wanted to be touched by Marie’s words, but right now her distress and anger are clouding that, sadly. “Well maybe if I could help Shinjiro with-“

“There’s no helping damaged goods Teal.”

SNAP

Those words again. Those damn words Fuuka has heard about Shinjiro from so many people. She didn’t want to believe Marie would say them too. She didn’t want to think that Marie would be on their side, and not hers.

She was wrong all along. Marie sees Shinjiro like everyone else does, not like she does; and she hates that so much.

“HE IS NOT DAMAGED GOODS!” Fuuka didn’t even realize how loud she yelled that. The tears that have been welling up inside her, escape like a dam leaking as she stood up to stand tall over Marie. “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HIM LIKE I DO MARIE-CHAN, NONE OF YOU FREAKING DO, OR EVEN TRY TO! YOU ALL JUST JUDGE HIM CAUSE NONE OF YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH WHAT HE DOES! HE NEEDS HELP MY HELP!”

Marie certainly wasn’t expecting Fuuka to blow up. It was worse than she thought, but at the same time, it has to be done. “Cause there’s nothing to understand!”

“YES, THERE IS!” Fuuka’s practically bawling now. In sadness, in rage, in loss of being heard. Not that there was anything to be heard, but Fuuka didn’t want to admit that. “SHINJIRO-“

‘-Is a grown man.” Marie finished. “He’s 22 years old. He’s an adult.” Marie stands up, not intimidated by Fuuka of all people. “He can take care of himself and his own problems, and if he doesn’t want your help, the best you can do is respect his decision, instead of forcing yourself in. Because as you said Teal, he’s your boyfriend. You’re not his mother, you don’t have to dote his every decision or criticize his every action. You can talk to him about it, but he has to make the decision himself on what he wants to do.” Marie pauses for a moment, noticing that her words are having an effect on Fuuka. Her anger is leaving her; and reasoning is hitting hard. “…If he doesn’t want to do the organ transplant to save his liver and kidney’s Teal, then that’s…his decision, even if it means him dying.” She slowly, carefully walks over to Fuuka. She stopped crying, but the dam is certainly not done leaking.

“It doesn’t mean you failed as his girlfriend.”

Fuuka knew, deep down that every word Marie said was the truth. The cold, hard, harsh truth that she wanted to deny for so long. When she learned of Shinjiro’s condition, she just told him to get the organ transplant, problem solved. But he refused. Fuuka honestly believed that he was simply scared; and with some light pushing and motivations. But that only made Shinjiro more aggressive, and Fuuka couldn’t comprehend why. Why wouldn’t he want to live? Sure, he’d be bedridden for a few weeks, but it wouldn’t be anything serious.

Then in one of their arguments, he dropped it. Miki Sanada.

15 years. 15 years, and despite everything, every effort to move forward…Shinjiro fell back to step 1. He can’t let go, he REFUSES to let go, and their arguments the last few weeks have been about that. But every, one of them ended in failure for Fuuka.

Shinjiro can’t let go. End of story. Fuuka adamantly refused to accept that, with every fiber of her being and hoped to smash common freaking sense into Shinjiro. She tried, tried, and tried again. Against Mitsuru’s complacency, against Akihiko’s acceptance, against Yukari’s pity…

Against Marie’s truth.

That wasn’t the case. She couldn’t…because Shinjiro wouldn’t accept that. Not then, not now…possibly not ever.

Shinjiro would have a year to live, and that was it. Nothing else to discuss except his funeral arrangements.

Fuuka could see it now, see it happen, see it go, and see it fade. Her dreams, her future, her wishes.

Marie held onto Fuuka as she finally let go, and sobbed loudly onto her arms, hugging her roommate and dear friend for dear life. Marie sighed, wishing it hadn’t come to this…but it did. For all odds, for all the bridges built…all for nothing.

About 10 minutes later, Fuuka fell asleep on Marie’s arms. Marie carefully lifts her and carries her back to her room (after opening the door with the wind of course). She tucked Fuuka in, and let her sleep…

About 4 hours later in the evening, Marie heard the shower turn on…must be Fuuka. She had already bathed and is watching TV, clad in a simple long shirt that reaches her thighs and underwear.

Minutes later, Fuuka sits next to her, wearing a nightgown and underwear. Her hair is also loosened, not braided like usual. “…Hi…” Fuuka shyly spoke.

“Hey.” Marie greets her normally. “Sleep well?”

Fuuka nodded. “Uhu…thank you…Marie-chan. For earlier.”

Marie raised an eyebrow. “You’re thanking me? You were pretty angry.”

“…I kind of am…still.” Fuuka sighed, hands on her lap. “But not at you…rather at me. …You were right, about everything.” She sniffed. “I hate feeling this way…so helpless, worse…knowing you want to help but the help is not accepted.” She looks at Marie, a despondent gaze over her normally starry teal eyes. “…Ever since I can remember, I wanted someone, anyone to accept me. Not as a lover, but as a friend, a companion, to never leave me alone. Shinjiro…” she bit her lip “I-I thought…I felt…” she raised her hand and gripped her chest; heart still aching. “…I wanted a family…” she nearly broke again when she said that.

“…But now that’s impossible.” Marie finished for her. However, Fuuka shook her head.

“I didn’t mention it before, but in one of our arguments…Shinjiro plain told me, that he didn’t want to be a father.” A few tears left her. “I was so hurt…I slapped him.” She confessed. “It was the first time I did that. He didn’t even react. He just walked away…and I hated that. I wish he had said something, dome something, even slap me back, I didn’t care. I just…” Fuuka gritted her teeth. “I wanted him to acknowledge that there was something between us, and I wasn’t just his…fuck toy!” she yelled. “But nothing…! And I just…” she sniffed, wiping away her tears “I thought I emptied myself out…”

She’s surprised when Marie hands her a handkerchief. “You never truly do.” She smiles at her. “The pain doesn’t go away after a few hours Teal. You’ll heal…in due time. With words, with action, with acceptance. You kind of did the last one.”

“…kind of.” Fuuka smiles back, blushing slightly as she takes the handkerchief, and wipes away her tears…and blows her nose. “Better…” she sniffs. “Much better.” Awkwardly, she looks at the handkerchief, then at Marie.

“Hamper.” Marie deadpanned. Fuuka nodded, not arguing there that’s for sure. “So, what do you want to do?”

“…I…” Fuuka frowned. “…I want to talk to him one last time. If…if he really wants this…then that will be it. I’ll break up with him, and I’ll respect his decision. …But that doesn’t mean I will stand by him. This is his path to take, and I guess…I’ll walk my path; with or without him. I’ll…endure.” At least, Fuuka lied to herself, for now. She’s still in pain after all. “I…kinda wanna drink something, and just go back to bed.”

Marie nodded. “Sure. Go ahead Teal, I’ll go to sleep a little later.”

“…Mm…yeah.” Fuuka folded the handkerchief and stared at it. “…You know Marie-chan…you’ve been good to me.” She looks at her. “You listen to me rant, you let me scream at you, but you don’t disrespect me. You understand, you listen…” she blushed. “…I’m happy to have you as a roommate, and a friend.” She reached out to Marie and hugged her. “…It means a lot to me that you have stayed, more than words can possibly say.”

The hug surprised Marie, but she wasn’t in any position to argue. She returns the hug, sighing. “You’re welcome Teal, anytime.”

“Mmm…” Fuuka nuzzled onto Marie, adoring her warmth right now, and her faint scent of blueberry, her favorite fruit. “…Marie-chan…?”

“Yeah?”

“…Thank you.” Fuuka looked up to Marie, eyes shining with the moon. She did something she didn’t think she would do. She pressed her lips onto Marie’s softly. A kiss…warm, tender…it filled Fuuka with a desire she long missed, needed. She pulled back, blushing. “…I-I mean it…” she said shyly, not believing she even did that. What possessed her to do that?

Marie certainly didn’t know and didn’t want to ask…mostly because she gets the feeling that Fuuka is not in her right mind right now and is looking for warmth. Best she can do is give it…for now, at least until Fuuka can stand up again. Until she can heal. She can be that healing potion.

Not that Fuuka is her first kiss with a girl, but that’s a story for another time. Marie let Fuuka nuzzle her, cuddle her…until Marie heard Fuuka’s light snores.

Chuckling, Marie carefully lifted Fuuka, and brought her back to her room. This time however, she closed the door behind her (after turning all the lights off), and carefully drops Fuuka on the bed. She tucks herself in with Fuuka (Who hasn’t let go of Marie), and watches Fuuka sleep peacefully. If Marie was certain, this is the most peaceful sleep Fuuka has had in a while.

Marie pressed her lips on Fuuka’s forehead. “Sweet dreams Teal…” Marie whispered, and closed her eyes, embracing Fuuka in return. Its been a long day, and both girls need their rest, for what will come tomorrow.

…………………………..

Fuuka and Marie spent a long night together…

[telesthisia]

(No reblogs! Make a new post please!)

|| The Basics ||

Name: Zelda of Hyrule Nickname(s): Zel, Zellie, Elle, Ellie Age: 19 Species: Human or well Hylian 

|| Personal ||

Religious Belief: The three golden goddess + Hylia but... she’s known as the forgotten goddess in her timeline since certain legends faded away from the public’s knowledge but not at all the royal family’s. Sins: Lust / Greed / Gluttony / Sloth / Pride / Envy / Wrath Virtues: Chastity / Charity / Diligence / Humility / Kindness / Patience /Justice Primary Goals In Life:  To create a brighter future for her people for generations on end, leading to the eventually famed Golden Age before the Hero of Time’s downfall... though Hyrule has recovered once she’s born there are still remnants of ruin from that era as such she wants to protect her people as well as make Hyrule safer, while she doesn’t do it within her lifetime because limited lifespan her dream does still come true years later aka LOZ and LOZ 2 don’t be fooled by the plot, Hyrule was in its prime during those games!  Languages Known:  Hylian Secrets: Well... it’s no secret among her staff but outside the castle, she keeps her poor health (heart condition and undiagnosed rare anemia problem) and near lack of magical stamina a secret since that can put her at a pretty bad disadvantage. She has plenty of enemies, namely those who align themselves with Ganon and the resurrection of him is still possible provided the person is a powerful mage with knowledge of doing that sort of stuff in the first place. And then there’s also court drama she has to worry about but that’s for another long lengthy headcanon post I should have out... soon... ish. Also while obvious with partners and in a meta sense and if you’re super observant but her guise Elle is, in fact, her, the princess of Hyrule so... ye...  Quirks: Her birthmark of the Triforce is... certainly unique. But if we’re talking mannerism rather than physical then allow me to just ramble because hoo boy! When nervous or worked up, she often tucks her stray hairs behind her ears, even when she’s not feeling those emotions she’s always fiddling around with it (in her royal wear) often flipping it out of her face or trying to make it look a little neater. She has the Pendant of Courage, a gift from Link and often clutches on it when she feels the need to summon her courage if she’s feeling not that brave, often trying to recall Link’s courage during his many adventures. When using any of her PSI powers she tends to have a nose bleed, as such, she often carries around a handkerchief and tries to cover it up before going off somewhere to stop the bleeding. When laughing, she likes to hold her smile behind her hand... and when yawning she tries to cover her mouth. SHE IS THE WORST COOK TO EVER EXIST holy crap but can make mean cookies. When flirting (more like embarrassed flirting pft) she looks away to the side and twirls her hair around her finger trying to hide her red cheeks. Her romantic out view on life stems from the fact that she was constantly surrounded by death and history and art so there’s morbid beauty in the melancholy... this girl gets excited over Friday the 13th and samhain ok like... there’s a lot to unpack with that. THERE’S MORE BUT I’VE RAMBLED FAR ENOUGH!!!  Savvies: Well... she bakes pretty good cookies BUT UH!!! YEAH she’s pretty proficient with her light magic! While she can’t do the amazing things other Zeldas can do because of limitations she’s not someone you would want to mess around with. She’s learned to work around those limitations and has great control over her powers. On top of that, she somehow knows how to use a crossbow so :’) while not the light arrows (she’s too weak to wield a bow) and it was a lucky shot she at least knows enough about how it works to fire it in the first place. She reads a lot, even as a kid she’d sneak off to the library to read the history about Hyrule or read maps and well she’s pretty knowledgable about her nation as a whole! And thanks to sneaking out she knows how to sneak past the guards and knows all of the secret passages in her castle like the back of her hand! Can’t forget her amazing political insight and ability to think outside the box! She has pretty innovative ideas for her times esp when concerning the common folk, but sometimes they don’t always go through because well... nobles. 

|| Physical ||

Height: 5′0″  Weight: you never ask a lady her weight! >:0 Scars/Birthmarks:  Has a cat scratch scar on her right palm which is also where the triforce is located! Abilities/Powers: Light magic, as the descendant of the mortal goddess she has been blessed with the Light Force. On top of that she’s come from a line of sages and has the Triforce of Wisdom so as you expect she has so much magic. She can heal, bless your weapons, smite away darkness, sense darkness (As a matter of fact she’s pretty sensitive to it and it makes her lowkey sick if it’s too much) and then there’s her PSI abilities which includes clairvoyance and telepathy! And then... her connection to the spirit realm.  Restrictions: AHAHAHA SO MUCH, she’s a glass cannon which is why she’s so, so, so easy to kidnap in the first place. She may put up a fight but not for long, as such her tactics are always to make a distraction and then escape. But she has poor stamina and just a poor heart, she can’t really overexert herself without a) causing pain and b) passing the hell out which was common in her younger days. Using magic takes up a lot of stamina as shown in ALTTP esp with the more powerful spells, you need an amazing reserve to cast all of that and sadly while she has good control she doesn’t have good reserves. SOOOOOOO to fix this she always has to take medicine of magic. Mana blockage is a thing that can happen, more often than she’d like to admit which causes pain once again and makes using magic pretty hard. Now onto her telepathy and clairvoyance. While they sound useful there are restrictions on those as well, for one with telepathy while she can contact anyone so long as she finds their signature subconscious she doesn’t have to worry about distance too much so long as they are within her range which is... maybe more than 200 meters? I need to think about the range more because there are certain places where she can reach you and cannot but there’s def a range limit. She tends to get nosebleeds and headaches from using telepathy. Her clairvoyance is where she can see bits of the future, but they are very vague and hard to decipher and there’s always a chance of the future changing or not changing. As for her connection to the spirit realm, pretty much she can see dead people... in her dreams and there’s no way of shutting this power off she’s gotta deal with the horrors that is this realm. Now seeing spirits isn’t anything new in LOZ but contact to the spirit realm is something that’s implied that only royal family members can do... as implied by Zelda’s words in BOTW where she said her mom (or grandma??) could hear the voices of the spirit realm.  

|| Favorites ||

Favourite Drink: Rose tea Favourite Pizza Topping: Basil...  Favourite Color:  Blue!  Favourite Music Genre: She pretty much likes slow and relaxing music, piano comes to mind but *kayne shrug* Favourite Book Genre: Romance aHEM as a princess she doesn’t have time to read cheesy romance novels and fantasize about the day where someone riding on a white horse will sweep her off her feet and they ride off into the sunset never having to bear the burden of her heritage and responsibilities hahaha..... but history and folklore. She likes tragic stories that have bittersweet endings.  Favourite Movie Genre: Fantasy, tragic tales, suspense, romance flicks  Favourite Season: Spring Favourite Butt Type:

Favourite Swear Word: "Goodness me!”  Favourite Scent: Forest scent, the fields, that ancient scent you smell when visiting old places, the smell of book pages  Favourite Quote: “Time has stopped for me long ago.”

|| Fun Stuff ||

Bottom or Top:

Sings In The Shower: Yes!!! Well... rose soaked bathwater because she’s spoiled stupid by her castle staff and Impa but she’ll hum a tune here and there!  Likes Bad Puns: Of course! She has the playfully innocent attitude so puns is right up her alley! Morality: Lawful / Neutral / Chaotic / Good / Gray / Evil Build: Slender / Scrawny / Bony / Fit / Athletic / Herculean / Babyfat / Pudgy / Obese / Other. Favourite Food: APPLES!!! Namely baked apples and more importantly apple strudel! Her nation is famous for having delicious apples that can help cure fatigue and even rise up stamina a bit! She’s very much a follower of “an apple a day keeps the doctor away” esp if that doctor keeps giving her bitter medicines.  “Boss” Theme Music :  Excuse me for using a sad track... but... sAD MUSIC HONESTLY SHE’S DEPRESSION PERSONIFIED!! It reflects her hidden melancholy for like everything. I feel like if you have to fight her as a boss it’ll be more of a beautifully sad moment than something epic like that boss fight with puppet zelda which slaps honestly.  Their Opinion On The Mun: “Does she thrive on my pain?”  

Was tagged by: no one

Tag 15 People: wHO EVER WANTS TO DO THIS

[ask-the-jester-buds]

(WAKEY WAKEY MOTHERFUCKERS!! XD GREAT PARTY~ *still recording* How ya'll feel?) - Mun

Well I’M glad you asked!I’M feeling just great! What about you guys?

[There is a comunal groan coming from everybody else]

my fAcE hUrts… 

gEEz… AH YEllEd A lot of stuff didn’ AH? fuck AH HopE k ‘n ob ArEn’t mAd At mE… 

[Zuluet left with his matesprit Plaska… however they never found his shirt. ]

[Koresh is no-where to be seen]

SSSSSSS fuuuuck my heaaaad….what eve~ happe~ed?

I better get out of here before I get i~to more trouble!

[Elymaz returned to his Carnival with one nasty headache]

||ᵂᴼᵁ|ᴰ ᴱⱽᴱᴿʸᴮᴼᴰʸ ᴮᴱ ᵠᵁᴵᴱᵀᵎˀ ⱽᴱᴺᵀᴱᴿ ᴴᴬˢ ᴬ ᵀᴱᴿᴿᴵᴮ|ᴱ ᴴᴱᴬᴰᴬᶜᴴᴱᵎ||

[Pygmlo whispers angrily as he comforts poor Venter, who is really feeling sick after all that Vomiting]

[sxlvxtion-lost]

Mun Update;

Heyo guys so this is guna be a bit of a long one again so I’ll put a keep reading down below to prevent spamming or taking over someones poor dash. Haha.

So as you all know I’ve been getting Cluster Headaches. They have gotten pretty bad. Last monday they were very extreme. The only way I can put it to you is the pain feels like my brain has numerous drills drilling into my skull, opening it up and pouring in extreme cold into my brain. The pain of course flicks from my forehead, temple, eye, side of my skull, left side back of my nap and neck, shoulder and even down my throat. All on the left side.

I was taking Panadeine forte which was helping, however up until Monday they have stopped working due to the pain becoming so extreme that drugs no longer work.

I also reached out to a few other sufferers online and I was told to take illegal drugs. I can’t do that for a number of reasons. One work, two my ethical views. I don’t really want to take certain kinds of drugs like that. Ice, speed and pot. Fine ok. Not my cup of tea but its not as dangerous as hallucinate like drugs.

Anyway my point here is that I’ve been left catatonic from Monday all the way through towards the end of the week. The headache its self lasted 75 hours exact before I Got a brief sense of pain relief before it started up again. Then of course from Thursday I got another massive one, which is still on going. I’ve also begun to develop a real bad case of nausea. Wanting to vomit constantly and not be able to take meds or do anything is probably one of the worst feelings out. Even more so when you are surrounded by a group of people while at a training course.

In short, nothing is helping me and I’m honestly looking for a way but I’m not sure there is one besides a bullet. Sorry but its the truth. In Australia there is no real research into Cluster Headaches. Therefor no one knows what they are or how to treat or even provide some form of ease to a sufferer like myself.

Plus side on Tuesday I have to get a CT-scan to look at the left side of my brain while I’m having a headache. Fingers crossed it does show something because if it doesn’t well....In a doctors view point it means I’m clinically fine even though I’m screaming, passing out and being sick while also hallucinating due to the pain. Its a big catch 22.

The other problem is work....They are kinda pushing and stressing me out. I mean next Tuesday coming it’ll mark 4 weeks of cluster headaches. Which is a long long long time for a sufferer with this kind of chronic condition.

Nutshell I’m shit scared that I’m going to have to live with this without any form of relief or cure and on top of that I don’t think I can last much longer like this. With work pushing and playing the punishment game....Things are pretty hard.

I know a lot of you will say “ Get better” and I wish that was true but I don’t know right now. I’m just holding out until Tuesday and hoping I’ll be ok,

[queen0fkingss]

💩 = What do the mun and muse usually do when they feel bad? (either or both!)

Razok will often deny that he’s even feeling bad in the first place. He doesn’t like admitting when he’s feeling sick and will often just try to brush it off. 

Honestly there’s rarely ever a moment where Sozal gets sick, considering he’s technically a doctor and knows how to keep himself healthy. But on the rare occasion, he’ll try to brush it off as well. However if it’s bad enough, he’ll take a day to recover.

[[ I, on the other hand, hate when I’m not feeling 100%, and I have definitely called off work for stupid things like a stomach ache or a bad headache. I won’t complain a whole lot but I’m not gonna just try and go through my day while I’m not feeling well either. ]]

[accidentalsoulreaper]

The dreaded sickness.

Okay so here’s the thing. There was a considerable  lack of content from me due to being sick shortly after Christmas. For almost every day of January, I suffered and dealt with, stuffy nose, no taste, ear aches, itchy (not painful throat.) Coughing, sore ribs, massive headaches. (Due to the coughing.) Itchy watery eyes, on top of girl pain at the end of December, and a week or so ago. Don’t even get me started with a fever that refused to break for the longest time. And having a hard time maintaining energy. 

My descent into this illness, was basically documented on a stream I co stream ffxiv for. (I read female lines for the main streamer. in Video games we play together.) By the end of us getting through Endwalker, I was so sick, I was sleeping an obscene amount, and using cough syrup, cough candies, and painkillers and fever reducing pills, and allergy pills (which I was also dealing with.) And Vix vapor-rub, and lots of water and teas, just to get through it.

By the end of it, it slowly dawned on the entire family, that it was highly possible that the whole house was sick with Covid. Given the symptoms. 

I am double vaxxed, and ended up with omicron most likely. It hit me hard. I don’t wish this on anybody. I’m still recovering from the whole feeling weak. 

Now, that that has been said. I will reflect on replies to threads, and reply when I have the energy to do so.

I still want to make content. I just wanted to explain my absence, as Homura’s Mun / Babysitter. 

Love your faces.  

[bastardsunlight]

😡

😡 :  Worse role play-related encounter and what advice you would give to others to avoid similar situations?

Okay so hang onto your butt ‘cause this is going to get long. ALSO heads-up there’s discussion of manipulative behavior, fictional rape/assault, and mentions of suicide.

A couple of years ago, I met this gal who wrote an OC—innocuous enough. She did sick art for her OC and it was fun to interact. I cannot recall if it was Cable or D to whom she first attached herself. We had a decent thread with D on me old blog, RadiantDecay ‘til the purge killed it. I think we picked it back up but idk…

Cable was the big one—the doozy.

So some of you know (e.g. anyone who’s written with me/read my muse sexuality/gender HC list that I have always written Cable as 100% pure grade-A home of sectional. I was very upfront about this when she clearly expressed a desire to ship with him, like, romantically.

Now, I don’t have a problem with age gap—I ship Raiden with people and he’s literally eternal so…. What I take issue with is when one muse is so very clearly WAY too immature to come close to appealing to a muse who has seen Some Shit™. Their lived experiences just cannot match up. Cable is a 50-60some time traveling gritty fuckin’ badass telepath with a giant gun and a constant headache named Wade Wilson (sometimes husband tho; depends on the day).

Turns out this gal was (probably still is) a MAJOR FC hunter. Josh Brolin (a Cable I only write peripherally) and Benicio Del Toro were her focuses (another buddy I met through her writes MCU’s collector, so there’s your Del Toro). I told her flat out Cable is gay and she was immediately lowkey hostile. She got over it though and we started writing.

Red flag much?

Thirty some odd replies in and this is shaping up a bit. We’re playing it on Providence, Cable’s island that’s made of his ship—blah blah blah—her OC has a power surge that knocks out half the computers. That was another thing about her OC. She HAD to be the strongest person in the room but also unaware of her strength except when it was interesting to the plot.

She started messaging me again about SHIPPING THEM. I said somethin’ like “he probably sees her as a daughter or granddaughter, maybe—he’s a mentor type. Also he’s still gay.” She acted like I’d never told her so I did something I rarely do and scrolled tf up, screenshotted the message, and posted it. “Yeah,” I said, “but I did.”

On another track, she decided to get into Devil May Cry. She wanted to write her OC as the reincarnation of Nero’s dead mother or something? But also wanted me to write that Vergil had raped the poor girl. Now, again, referring back to the chart, Vergil is also gay as fuck. I was also up front about this, BEFORE she whipped out the sexual assault card and even THAT I had to pry from her.

By this point our “friendship” was rocky as fuck. When I refused to write or acknowledge that, because I found it offensive, she started writing a “fuck you fic” (the channel title) in the server she named after herself and in which she gathered her “friends” (e.g. people who played characters with those FCs). I think she booted me from the server or something idk.

Anyway there was a bunch of shit and I actually DID keep screenshots from various disco conversations (which btw I NEVER do, but holy shit this was insurance), bu the culminating thing that made me run for the hills was the night she threatened suicide via voice message she straight up sent me over discord because I refused her freaky-ass rape plot. She said shit about how I called her “manipulative” (I didn’t) and how that really hurt and something about her fucking dog? Idk. She’d also mentioned at some point that a previous Cable Rper had referred to her as a “manipulative bitch”.

HMMMMMMMMMM.

I ain’t gunna post her URL or whatever, but suffice it to say, I got a hold of a mutual friend (thank god they gave me the time of day) to tell ‘em what had actually happened, ‘cause evidently the chick decided to ghost me and then tell some WILD tales with seriously doctored screenshots to her buddies in her server. They let me tell my story and trusted me on it because evidently the screenies were HELLA sus. They also shared some really uncomfortable instances of her racism and homophobia so that was neat—this friend being a queer person of non-whitery an’ all that. Nice. I recalled that when I’d mentioned I was queer meself, she’d kind of drawn back and acted REALLY goddamn strange.

So yeah, I asked this friend a final favor and I’d bugger off if they didn’t wanna deal with me: “please tell her she needs to unblock and DM me right now or I’m going to leak every fucking screenshot I have”. I was NOT happy. I just needed her to know that I knew she was lying about me and that I felt nothing but contempt for her. I told her in no uncertain terms that if I so much as got a fucking HINT that she was fucking with this mutual friend, I’d post ‘em all on a frickin’ sideblog and tag every single person with whom I KNEW she associated.

Was I gunna do it? For this friend? Hell yes. On me own, unprovoked? No. I had and still have a strict “no bullshit” policy when it comes to call outs, burn blogs, blah blah whatever. But the threat was enough to keep her worthless trap shut. See the reason I needed her to DM me was that I’d closed the convo without realizing she’d fucked off. I now have access to it—yes even today—so if you’re out there sweaty {; fuckin’ try me~

ASK THE MUN! - accepting

EDIT: a gazillion years later, but still Munday at least, I realize I didn’t answer the second half: advice to avoid similar situations. Honestly, give folks a chance, but follow your gut and do not be afraid to have extensive fucking rules. If people are scared off by a lot of reading in a hobby that requires reading, you don’t want to write with ‘em anyway. In addition, passwords (which I have) are OKAY. There are folks with “I don’t do passwords” in their rules and that’s fine, too; they’re just not going to be your writing partner. Do not bend on that. Be patient and cordial, but if your rules say “no threads without the password” don’t bend. (obvious exception is that like, mutual friends give you the all-clear on ‘em ‘cause they know this person personally duh, but otherwise stick to your guns!)

[askthepandoranhero]

Prime numbers

((Mun: //my dumb ass looks up prime numbers cuz i can’t even remember what they areCERTAINLY I’M GONNA UP THIS UNDER A READ MORE))

2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about?

Mun: Definitely about trusting and loving Jack despite him being a goddamn monster of a person; they feel like they are directly responsible for pretty much all of the death and suffering that happened while they were being manipulated. While that can be partially true…I mean, they didn’t run around shooting unarmed men, women and children for little to no reason so I mean???

3. What is the worst pain they’ve ever experienced?

Mun: Defintely the near lethal shock from a collar that was strapped around their throat while they tried to escape from Helios/Jack. It not only damn near killed them and left a permanent scar ALL across their neck, but it really fucked them up emotionally

On top of all of that, the shock damaged their respiratory system, and they have a much harder time breathing than they used to as a result of their injuries

5. List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

Surface Level Fear: bugs/anything that has more than four legs at a time (its not even really a fear its more a general disgust)Repressed Fear: They actually have a really bad fear of pitch black, very cramped spacesDeep Dark Fear: (I’ve said over and over that Kelley fears Jack somehow returning so I’m gonna say a different one) Kelley has a pretty intense fear that they’re being constantly manipulated; down to the tiniest detail, by everyone (even their own family) they know, and they can’t do anything about it at all

7. What feature (physical or otherwise) do they hate most about themselves?

Mun: They really don’t like that ring of scars around their throat; it makes them feel nauseous and their chest tightens up when they look at it for too long. 

Mun: As for any personal traits they hate a lot about themself. They hate how easily they can fall for someone, how “fucking stupid”/naive they can be

11. Do they have any vices?

Mun: Kelley has a terrible tendency to blind themself to things that they really shouldn’t (ex. Jack’s overall terrible abusive behavior/lying etc.) and they tend to throw themself into work whenever they do that. They work and work and work until they drop

13. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?

Mun: Pride? I think? Or maybe Envy? I think Envy because of how much they kind of wanna leave Pandora and they kinda regret deep down becoming what they have. Don’t get me wrong, they love helping people and they love what they’ve done. It’s just sometimes they wish that…they had gotten to adventure more. There’s only so many places on Pandora you can go, especially when you’re being called and asked to help every second of the day

17. What sound always gives them a headache?

Mun: Claptrap’s beatboxing

19. Do they consider themselves ugly?

Mun: YES. They have some serious self-image problems centering around their scars and their bulky build

23. Have they ever been assaulted/abused/raped?

Mun: No. Although things have gotten close to that before. That was enough for them, and they kinda live in fear of those sorts of things happening to them. It’s one of the reasons that they really don’t enjoy being restrained

29. Does what they cannot see scare them?

Mun: As much as it would scare any other person really. Although they are really accustomed to Stalkers, creatures on Pandora that can turn invisible and stalk their prey.

31. Do they have self-confidence or self-image issues?

Mun: Kelley has some really bad issues with feeling like a constant failure, like they aren’t worthy of love and they’re broken most of the time. They only see value in themself when they do something right. And they never feel like they do anything right. Even when they do, its never enough…

37. Have they ever had their freedom taken away?

Mun: When Kelley stayed on Helios with Jack after the events of the Elpis mission, Jack removed their freedoms one by one, taking away their ability to leave the space station, to get into certain sectors of the space station, who they could talk to etc. 

Since Kelley had suffered past abuse with being trapped and neglected, it really impacted them, and they felt completely helpless and like they would never escape

41. Do they get sick often?

Mun: Kelley has a pretty hearty immune system for someone who doesn’t bathe everyday and is often covered with blood, dirt and sweat   

43. Do they wish that they could change their pasts?

Mun: Only every day. I can’t tell you how many times they have had dreams of killing Jack before he became a problem, or even “saving him from himself” (which is impossible). They’ve even seriously thought about trying to make a time machine.

47. Have they ever gone so far as to attempt suicide? 

Mun: Not directly. But Tim has seen Kelley straight-up walk into direct gunfire, and take their damn time getting to the enemy. The look in thier eyes…he knows what they’re trying to do. Kelley has also run into danger intentionally, in an attempt to kill themself…

[storiesuntold]

Who Is The Mun?

WHO IS THE MUN? Knowing your partner well makes writing a lot easier. Tag this with the people you enjoy roleplaying with, but want to get to know better! REPOST, don’t reblog!

◦ NAME:  Sinise ◦ AGE: 23 ◦ PRONOUNS: she/her ◦ ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus ◦ TAKEN OR SINGLE: Single

⊰ T H R E E ◦ F A C T S ⊱

◦ I.) I can’t read in cars/buses/on planes for long time periods bc I get a gigantic headache really fast otherwise and feel slightly sick ◦ II.) I feel most comfortable while wearing a hoodie and comfy pants ◦ III.) I love taking pictures especially of landscapes and the people I love

⊰ E X P E R I E N C E ⊱

◦ PLATFORMS YOU USED: Tumblr, Skype, Kik ◦ BEST EXPERIENCE: Whenever me and another mun fangirl together about our muses

⊰ M U S E ◦ P R E F E R E N C E ⊱

◦ FEMALE OR MALE:  I often end up being more comfortable writing male muses but I’ve had several female ones in the past too. ◦ LEAST FAVORITE FACE(S): there are a few ⊰ W R I T I N G ◦ P R E F E R E N C E ⊱

◦ FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT: Fluff and Angst (and lots of hurt/comfort tbh) ◦ PLOTS OR MEMES: Both. But I often prefer plotting, especially when I feel insecure about the muse or am not sure how to let our muses interact without some prior plotting.

TAGGED BY: @thunderstruckextremis

TAGGING: @zavcdila, @oceansaiiling, @fatherofmachine, @mockeryofreason