#mum staple

[stellewriites]

Saw this and immediately thought of Fiona MacTavish💀

(I know she wasn't that intense, but I thought it fit nonetheless)

LMAOOOOO it might as well be her,, she’s not so forthright about it but gd does she love the whole guilt trip spiel ://

[ybcpatrick]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you to get to know your mutuals and followers :)

omg hi phoebe thank u ily 🥹🥹

american rock band fall out boy

kevin owens and sami zayn

peanut butter and honey sandwiches

spending time with friends and family

watching movies i've seen so many times that i can recite word-for-word

[mariekavanagh]

A little boy at work yesterday was fascinated whilst watching me remove his dog's skin staples and asked me to explain how we put them in. It was only after I compared it to a normal paper staple gun that I panicked and added the "Do not try this at home" disclaimer.

[ryemackerel]

“Creatures From Mum’s Basement” posting again REAL!!!!

From my Eddsworld Band AU, or literally a permanent staple of my headcanons for my versions of the main four :-]

Finally got around to finishing the full gif with all of them! If you remember the TomMatt only version from a while back, I finally got to add TordEdd into the mix, and I’m so happy how the full gif came out!! Will be posting this on Insta another time, I just got excited to post this on Tumblr

Separate versions:

Might finally make a hashtag for their band, I love em sm <3 expect some more Creatures art in the future!!

[reignpage]

Hi Reign! I am wondering what your op’s and their respective fella’s breakfast order is? How do they take their eggs? Are they a waffle or pancake person?

I hope the silliness of this question takes some pressure away from writing. You deserve a break, we will all be here for once you’re feeling it again. Colleges / Universities give us breaks all the time so if you need to do that - do it! Treat yourself / do what you need to do for you.

🫶🏼

that's so thoughtful of you thank you so much 😭

gojo and reader

they fight over this a lot actually. gojo is a pancakes person (lathered in syrup, practically drowning in it) and reader is a waffles person. they argue over which is superior. gojo says pancakes is far more iconic and the staple of breakfast culture whereas reader says waffles are infinitely better because of the texture and the fun shape.

secretly, they both see each other's points, they just like to argue

geto and reader

geto really only has black coffee for breakfast and a cig very French of him. reader gets cute little açai bowls and tries to feed geto but he'll only humour her with a bite or two. reader doesn't really like eggs because she thinks about how they were supposed to be babies. she's not a vegetarian cause she loves steak but she does eat like one most days. geto likes over easy eggs on toast. straightforward, easy and quick

choso and reader

they eat anything these two. in fact, what they often do at restaurants is order two mains for sharing cause they want to try everything. for breakfast, they often go to the local deli in true art student fashion, very in touch with the community and whatever. reader is even on a first name basis with the owner. she gets salmon and cream cheese with chives bagel, and choso gets English breakfast bagel. reader always takes a bite of his first, she calls it the girlfriend tax

toji and reader

two different lifestyles. toji is very healthy surprisingly? you'd assume he's a typical college guy and has a diet like one, but he's very disciplined actually. he eats raw eggs and protein shakes in the morning. reader eats cereal that's way too sugary and provides little to no nutritional value. toji's tried to convert her but she's pretty adamant. she likes her coco pops too much.

nanami and reader

nanami likes black coffee or tea in the morning with something light and quick like toast and butter. sometimes he doesn't even eat because he just doesn't feel any hunger in the mornings and he has places to be. reader is a big eater. she loves bacon, sunny side up eggs, the whole shebang on weekends when she has time. she also drinks smoothies. she has an intuition when it comes to nanami eating breakfast, somehow she just knows when he hasn't eaten any. so she'll pop by the lab or wherever he is and drop off a breakfast bagel or a bento box.

sukuna and reader

they drink the blood of virgins first thing. then they feast on the hearts of newborns. it's how they maintain their youthful glow and uncanny beauty. I'm kidding. or am I? well, neither of them really eat breakfast. always too busy but when they do have time, sukuna eats a full English breakfast and complains the entire time how greasy it is even though he always has two servings. reader is kinda like an almond mum. she eats a fruit bowl and one soft boiled egg.

[lordvonbunnyv]

a few things Donald has said in his sleep by Douglas

"but the yarn doesn't go there."

"any girl is a type of tinfoil."

Thomas: *Jolts upright in his sleep* SNAKE!! *kicks off all of the blankets and pillows in his sleep, whacks his head against the top bunk, kicks off his pajama pants, and flops back down*

Donald: (was fast asleep during Thomas's freak out) *points up at the ceiling* Dougie did it.

*sleepwalks over to Duck's bed, pats Duck's stomach* "Pillow." *proceeds to flop down next to Duck and slowly invade his space until Duck is crushed between Donald and the wall.*

"ew, James."

"father help."

"pick up Toad, take him to the pond, make a wish."

"Dilly girl, dilly dilly girl, quack quack quakaroo, dilly dilly dilly dilly"

"Oh no, Oliver is related to dinosaurs."

"say "aah".... "aaaaaahhhh..."

One night Oliver was having a PTSD episode due to a nightmare, I was in bed with Oliver trying to keep him from hurting himself, and comfort him when Donald shouted in his sleep, "Quiet Oliver! I can't hear my chair waving!"

"but sir! I don't staple papers!"

*Sleep walks into my room with an armful of shampoo bottles.* "Here." *drops the bottles onto me and walks out*

"Mum? I don't like my hand."

"No! you can't burrito Dilly!"

"oh... so that's how you peel the coal."

"Run! there's monsters in the ceiling!" (unfortunately, bill and ben heard this, so they found a scary monster mask and stuck it right above Donald who screamed when he woke up and saw it)

"Vote for Dilly!"

"I now identify as a duck, quack quack."

"Dougie, can you pass the MfGGHhshhshhdhw...."

not really something that Donald said, but one night Henry came back to the bunk house after pulling the flying kipper, and fell asleep in the doorway with the door wide open, I have no idea how we were not robbed that night.

*somehow crawls into bed with Edward in his sleep, and wraps himself around him like an octopus* "Mine. get your own."

*aggressively shoves Duck out of the bed* "GET OUT!!" *rolls over* "Woof."

"Stop giving Dougie knives, he needs bananas."

"Mum? Dougie folded Dilly's sandwich wrong!"

"Percy's a good source of meat."

*sleepwalks over to Oliver and stands over his bed* "Knock Knock."

Oliver: *is very much awake* who's there?

Donald: *flips Oliver off*you're rude, *Walks back over to his bed, Flips his bed off, and lays back down*

Oliver: Okay then, *flips Donald off as well while laughing*

[inkdrinkerworld]

Just thinking about dad!Remus LOVING to get his daughter from her crib on the weekends (when everyone can lie-in with no work/plans) and bringing her back to bed for snuggles :( and then breakfast in bed is a staple in the Lupin household!!!!

Oh oh oh🥺

Remus loves Saturday morning. He loves the soft sun peeking through the curtains, loves the way you’re curled into him and loves even more that in about ten minutes your daughter is going to come toddling into the room and crawling up into bed with you both.

Remus has enough time to stretch his wary bones before he hears the pattering against the wood floors.

The door creaks and then he hears a little giggle and almost immediately a smile breaks out on his face.

“Daddy, it’s morning.” Carys is halfway up the bed when she starts whispering. “I looked at the clock and there was it said, seven o’clock.” Her words are all clunky and mashed together as she wiggles under Remus’ arm.

“Good morning, baby dove.” Remus runs a hand through her honey waves and down her back. “How’d you sleep? Any dreams about being a fairy?”

Recently, due to her newest bedtime story, she’d been telling you and Remus all about her dreams of being a fairy just like the characters in her book.

“Not last night, I don’t ‘member if I had any.” She shrugs and cozies up a little closer to Remus. He wonders for a moment how much longer he has with her saying words like this. Shortening them and missing some of the letters. Before he can have a little crisis at the fact that she won’t be three forever, Carys taps his chest.

“When can we wake up mummy so we can have breakfast?”

“In fifteen minutes, do you wanna watch something while we wait?” Remus already knows what she wants to look at, Ada Twist.

She’s halfway through an episode when you wake up, a gasp at the sight of your baby laying fully on Remus.

“So dad gets a cuddle while I’m all cold?” Carys abandons the tv and your husband almost immediately.

“Mummy! You waked up!” You and Remus chuckle. Tenses are hard.

“Yes baby, mum woke up.” You kiss her head and cheeks, giving her a tight squeeze before letting her go.

“Can we have breakfast in bed? I’ll be sure not to have scrumbs.” Her eyes, all honey and mesmerizing like Remus’ go a little wide and you both know it’ll be tough saying no to that face.

“Course baby, what do you feel like?”

“Toast and ‘utter with ‘lueberry jam.” You feel your heart clench at how cute she sounds even if she’s struggling with her harsh ‘b’s. You move to get right out of bed and sort her order out when Remus pats your ankle.

“Sit tight, dovey.” He kisses your head and rubs your back before leaving, not needing to ask you what you feel like for breakfast. “Carys baby, make sure your mama doesn’t try escaping to the kitchen yeah?”

Remus says it like it’s the biggest thing she’ll ever do, a conspiracy plotted between them and when she grins all wide and slow Remus knows she’s going to take her job seriously.

“Only ‘laxing for mummy.” She says equally as seriously and Remus nods, kissing you both again before leaving to the kitchen.

[huellitaa]

it girl autumn 🎃🎀🍁

autumn is upon us!!!!!!!!!! all hail the best season 💭🎀🍂🧸🩷

──★ ˙ ̟🎀ur autumn to do list

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ ur never too old for trick or treating (if u celebrate!). girl get OUT THERE. (🎀🗒️note: if u have any little siblings or cousins or family, then you can take them out trick or treating and celebrate w them js as an excuse to get outside!!)

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ make pinterest boards for ur fav autumn movies and shows bcuz they cant do it themselves </3

🍂𓂃 ࣪˖ go collect leaves outside and make a pretty piece of art out of them

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ walk around early in the morning when its all foggy and pretty

🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ learn how to bake or cook (in my case anyway) OR look for some cosy autumn recipes to learn and share w ur loved ones or just to have a cosy night in and eat for urself♡

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ go thru ur closet and wardrobe and throw out all the old things you don't wear anymore. autumn is a time of change, after all (🎀🗒️note: make some cute autumn outfits while ur at it! ♡)

🎃𓂃 ࣪˖ drink every possible pumpkin spice drink u can find in ur area

🍂𓂃 ࣪˖ get out of ur reading slump! if ur in one anyway. if not then just read more books bcuz tea, rain and books is quite possibly the cosiest thing ever

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ visit a library alone, go shopping alone, just enjoy ur alone time. autumn is a time of introspection and a time to work on urself, and though i love spending time with myself in any season, autumn is especially cosy ♡

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ look at cute pumpkin designs and make one urself if u celebrate halloween ♡

🎃𓂃 ࣪˖ make some little halloween decorations if u celebrate ♡

💭𓂃 ࣪˖ build a little bug hotel out of twigs and leaves and things u find on the ground outside!!!!!! i used to do this all the time w my brother or my friends when i was little and its very nostalgic and fun ♡

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ take loads of pictures and make little vlogs and video diaries of ur autumn adventures, just for the memories ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 music and media

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ ur autumn playlist

clairo (charm, sling)

the 1975

florence & the machine (lungs)

the cardigans

the crane wives

neil young (harvest)

the smiths

phoebe bridgers

type o negative

kali uchis (never be yours)

gracie abrams

🍂𓂃 ࣪˖ movies and shows

the nightmare before christmas (obviously)

gilmore girls ♡

coraline, corpse bride, pretty much any tom burton movie

anne with an e

fantastic mr fox

hilda

gravity falls ♡

you've got mail

over the garden wall

pride and prejudice

jennifers body ♡

practical magic

little women

kiki's delivery service

arrietty ♡

howl's moving castle

lord of the rings ♡

and i always have a harry potter marathon every autumn because i loved it when i was younger, so why not!

(🎀🗒️note: i love playing identity v, animal crossing and cosy grove in the autumn too! or meeting up w friends and literally js playing board games theyre so fun♡)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀fall fashion and staples

okay so i personally love pink, whites, browns, cream colours and just general neutrals-pastels in the autumn, but you can adjust this to ur personal aesthetic and however you see fit!

the first thing i think of when i think autumn is layering. layer layer layer layer. tops and sweaters, cardigans, jumpers, leg warmers, tights; to keep you warm and pretty ♡

pay attention 2 fabrics! knitted, cashmere, fleece, flannel, all the cosy sorts are perfect for the autumn months ♡

patterns like stripes, leopard print, chevron, argle and plaid are so cute and simple, esp in october / november ♡

neutral colours, like beige, white, brown, cream, grey, black, and pale variants of colours too i think work so well esp in the autumn ♡

anything fur lined is absolutely adorable i rest my case

MASSIVE COATS. i have this big trenchcoat my mum had since i was a baby and i wear it EVERYWHERE in autumn ♡

boots are THE autumn shoes, bonus points if they're fur-lined. they just look so so cute ajdhfjsfjhsjf♡

knit hats and small hair accessories, bonus points if they're in the pretty autumn colours ♡

not really fashion but i love doing simple makeup in the autumn. just very dewy natural looks are pretty all year around, but especially in the fall ♡

🍂𓂃 ࣪˖ pretty fall fashion:

all my love... 💬🎀🫶🏻💗

[moonfalles]

Moodboard: Elain Archeron

A wedding planner and a dog mum living in the Upper East Side in her chic, Parisian inspired apartment. Walks in the mornings, fresh flowers, thrifted furniture, silk and cashmere staples, work trips, gardening, girl talks, bouncy blowouts, baking on weekends.

Elain’s aesthetic in Cashmere, Cologne.

[buffetlicious]

Mum’s Home-Cooked Dinner with a crispy fried red snapper steak, stall bought roasted chicken from her morning trip to the market and stir-fried dou miao (豆苗) or pea shoots with pork belly. Of course, we paired the dishes with steamed white rice since it is the main staple in Southeast Asia.

[lace-coffin]

Slasher autism headcanons

Requests are open!

is this just me projecting onto other slashers? Absolutely! It’s like the spider man pointing at eachother meme but it’s just me and slashers both having autism 😌

Tw: slight mentions of meltdowns and self injuring stims

Billy Lenz

*slaps him like the hood of a car* “do you know how much autism you can fit in here?”

Billy struggles with loud noises especially repetitive ones. He often holds the phone far away from his ear when calling the sorority because he can’t stand the call tone. please get him some headphones or ear defenders

Despite this he enjoys making a lot of noise through vocal stimming/echolalia, picking up on words or phrases he hears from you or the others at the sorority. He usually has a record playing to keep him from getting under-stimulated, though this can be a delicate balance because sometimes it helps and sometimes it’s too much and annoys him.

Billy is hyper verbal (this may be more of an adhd thing I’m unsure) he has so many thoughts he needs to voice to the point where it feels like he’s going to explode if he doesn’t get them out audibly. He does struggle knowing when it’s his turn to talk though so he may accidentally talk over you.

Billy tends to get along with animals better, connecting to them just feels easier and more natural. He loves to hang out with Claude and rub his face against his fur.

Billy often throws and breaks things during meltdowns, doing it in the heat of the moment and regretting it later if it was something he cared about. Please reassure him it’s not his fault and help him clean it up/ fix it when he feels ready to be around people again.

May not be purely and autism thing but affection bites for sure

Bubba sawyer

Bubba stims in a lot of ways. Flapping his hands in excitement and doing little dances. I think She would play with the charms on her bracelet she took from Pam when they don’t feel safe to openly stim, say he’s in public somewhere he’s not familiar with or dealing with victims.

They have a habit of hitting their head with their fists during meltdowns and pacing (as seen in the og movie when she’s upset about the victims breaking in when no one’s home)

Bubba is also hyper empathetic, other peoples emotions have a big effect on them, sometimes making it hard to settle when their family is distraught.

Non verbal- speaking feels unnatural and straining for her, her family have never pushed him to talk since it’s clear it’s uncomfortable so she’s happy to communicate via noises and body language. Communication cards may be helpful for when more complex answers are needed.

Loud noises aren’t really a problem for her since he’s running around with a loud ass chainsaw all day but it can become grating after a long day if they’re overstimulated already, they’ll push through it and get the task done but he’ll need some time alone in his room to recuperate after.

Doesn’t leave the house super often, they’re much comfier to be home around people they know. She does occasionally go shopping with Drayton and their siblings but it’s very taxing on her because of all the stimuli so it’s not super often.

Michael Myers

I think he’d have a very specific pallet, not liking inconsistencies in its foods and preferring to stick to the stuff it knows it likes. he has such a sweet tooth and eats a bunch of candy. It likes the texture differences in different kinds of sweets, jelly is a particularly good one. Mikey eats a lot of grilled cheese to, it’s mum used to make it for him a lot as a kid and it’s a staple safe food for him. He likes his food bland and beige (me to mikey)

Very specific about his clothing, labels are an absolute no go and need to be cut out. He only likes to wear one brand of coveralls because they’re the only ones it feels sits right without making him want to crawl out of his skin. So basically its wardrobe is just a bunch of the same brand coveralls. (Like SpongeBob with his identical wardrobe lol)

Non verbal through choice, mikey can talk but finds it uncomfortable to do so it usually doesn’t. If he really needs to get something across that he can’t then it’ll use sign.

Low empathy, Michael feels empathy for people close to him like his mother or you but not for others. He doesn’t really understand why he should care about people unimportant to him.

It’s part of Michael’s routine for you to go to bed together at the same time, it gets gradually more antsy the longer you stay up over bedtime. Eventually if he deems what you’re doing not worthy of staying up for he’ll just pull you away from it and carry you to bed. It also sleeps in a specific position, he has the whole bed to sleep in but prefers to curl up in the same way he did back at smiths grove, apart from there he didn’t have a choice. If you’re asleep and splayed out Michael would rather sleep on the sofa so he can be in its comfy position. He also probably won’t touch you if your wearing pyjamas with a bad texture, brushed cotton is a no and he won’t be cuddling you unless you’re in a safe textured set.

Doesn’t like eye contact much, he feels more comfortable in looking at peoples face if it’s wearing a mask, it’s less intimate and awkward.

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms can go from very clingy to not wanting to be touched very quickly. He adores being attached to you anyway he can, like cuddling you from behind when cooking or wrapping himself around you in bed. Despite this Brahms can get overwhelmed with touch sometimes, the feeling of ‘to much’ buzzing under his skin. If this is the case then he’ll likely need time to himself back in the walls.

Brahms likes everything to be on schedule and to follow the rules. Like we see in the movies he gets upset when his rules are ignored since it throws of his routine and schedule. If you need to do anything extra or take something off the schedule please let him know in advance so he has time to process it.

Low empathy but only for people not super close to him. He understands how he’s expected to react socially to peoples problems/pain and can show it through masking but it’s purely because he thinks it’s what he has to do.

The walls are a safe space for him. His room was the place he felt calmest after what happened with his parents, its decorated to his taste and dimly lit as not to hurt his eyes. His room has everything he needs within close distance so if he’s feeling low on spoons then the fridge is only a few steps away. Plenty of blankets for pressure/burying himself into.

Also we can’t ignore the fact he literally masks with his porcelain doll mask lol

I think Brahms would use too much eye contact as opposed to none, he was taught it was polite in his lessons as a boy and took it slightly to literally. He loves to stare at you affectionately < 3

Asa emory

Special interest in bugs and entomology! I headcanon that he mostly became a professor so he can info dump about his special interests all day to his hearts content. He can get frustrated quickly if he feels he’s not being listened to.

(Ignoring the shitty enclosures in the collector bc I say so) I think proper husbandry would be important to him, he researches for days before he feels comfortable setting up a home for his specimens. If he’s feeling overwhelmed he likes to sit with his bug enclosures, watching over them and rocking himself.

Asa connects to his bugs more, finding them easier to understand , bugs tend to have more readable body language so it’s easier to tell when they want to be left alone without pressing to far. A person may say they’re not upset but are only hiding it to be polite. A tarantula will bare its fangs and let you know when it’s had enough.

Asa is very precise in his traps, planning them thoroughly before assembling, however he can get overwhelmed and upset say if a wire snaps repeatedly or the trap won’t work as it’s supposed to. He can feel himself boiling over and will abruptly stand from him chair, taking himself over to his bug collection to distract himself and hopefully avoid a meltdown.

[inspoxjournal]

One of my personal goals is getting in shape.

So I've decided that mondays are gonna be my weekly weigh-in days. And I'm about to share my weight from this morning. But let me talk a little about December 19th which is when this goal of mine really came forward full force.

So December 19th we are at a big family dinner at my in-laws and my toddler wanted a piggyback ride. I squat and she climbs on and I struggle to lift us both up. She only weights about 15kg. When I say that I struggled I really mean I had to push for dear life to lift us both up. But it was that or admitting to my whole extended family how out of shape I am. I literally had to push from my toes I'm not even exaggerating! Somehow I managed (insert Michael Scott gif here) to lift us both up rather then die from shame.

Anyway back then I weighted about 81kg (178.5lbs) and I ate whatever I wanted which unfortunately was potato chips and processed candy. Water intake was ridiculously low. As a breastfeeding mum I do have a luxury of extra caloric intake but what I was doing was so unhealthy to say the least.

And so I decided I no longer wanna be a slob and just grab whatever comes to hand when I feel low on energy. So I made some changes.

I started drinking more water. Like every time I wanted candy or felt like munching on something I would drink water or eat some fruit if I was really hungry. Which was beneficial in many ways.

I stoped eating candy, chips and my beloved chocolate. This is hudge deal for me since I'm a sugar junkie. When my husband told my mum that I'm not eating sweets anymore she literally said "That's impossible she lives for candy." But I did it, I went so far that I placed a ferrero rocher ball on my kitchen counter so that I see it every time when I'm passing by. And every time I made a mindful decision not to eat it. And it worked I got hooked on that feeling of being in control!

I reduced my bread intake. I just started eating things that have more complex carbs. I love rice and chicken for lunch, tortilla omlet for breakfast, oatmeal etc. I stay away from grilled cheese (another staple in my pre baby diet), any kind of spreads (because I end up eating a lot of bread with them) and store bought bread in general.

Workouts but I'm gonna make a separate post about that topic soon.

And now I can happily say that I can squat with my velcro toddler on my back!

My weight this morning was 77,4kg (170.6lbs) and I'm proud of that. Current goal is just bellow 70 so I'll be happy with 69,9kg (154lbs)😅 I honestly don't even know how will I look by then so that can easily change if I'm happy with my strength and if I can fit my favourite pre pregnancy jeans! I'm pretty tall 175cm (5'9'') so all the extra weight doesn't bother me much but my bad shape, oh man that haunted my dreams..

[melrosing]

Hey, question, you know how GRRM is american but all of the dialogue in ASOIAF, aside from being old-fangled, is also supposed to be vaguely "british"? Like, everyone kind of is supposed to have those old english royalty accents and shit, all the northerners say "aye", etc. What's that like to you, an actual UK person?

it’s a weird one lol bc in some ways he leans into it and others he leans right out. I get the impression GRRM has watched a lot of British TV and so his ‘small folk’ dialect isn’t really that different (imo) from the staple working class dialect ascribed to characters in many British period pieces - which kind of sounds to me like an anaemic cockney or something, without the slang and quirks. on British TV it’s been the case for the longest time that for class reasons most of what you’re going to hear is broadly RP and you’d have to tune into specific shows to hear much else (that’s not as bad as it used to be but the impact is still pretty real).

anyway all of that to say, if that’s GRRM’s point of reference I don’t think he does a bad job with it?? it’s a shallow distinction between his smallfolk and his highborn, but w/e - it’s used about as effectively as it’s used in say, Downton Abbey lol. i.e. quite caricature-y but no more so than brits themselves are guilty of. I don’t really notice Americanisms slipping in and the only one he seems to fumble (afaik) is ‘aye’ which he occasionally has southern characters like the Lannisters use. and maybe southern brits did use ‘aye’ once but for a long time that’s been heavily associated w northerners/scotland/etc.

and also I know he isn’t actually trying to write AU UK here, Westeros is influenced by the histories of many different IRL countries and cultures, but it’s obvious that it very substantially draws on GRRM’s consumption of British media and culture in its depiction and so I do think based on that he could’ve had a bit more fun w the regional dialects. I know he doesn’t have to, he’s got enough on his hands and frankly there’s so much scope for fucking that up, but I think as bidonica said in a recent post, it’s kind of wild that across the entire continent of Westeros… the highborn and lowborn dialects are each the same. like suffice to say that is extremely not the case in the UK and was not the case even more historically speaking. my mum is northern and my dad came from a central London cockney neighbourhood and the words and phrases the other used to use would send them constantly.

so it’d be fun if there were variations between regions, and those wouldn’t even have to be based on any real British equivalent if GRRM were worried about getting it wrong. definitely amongst the smallfolk anyway, bc whilst I think at least in modern history the richest folk in the UK largely adopted the same upper class accent, that wasn’t the case for anyone else. the UK is about the size of a coin and yet comprises hundreds of different accents and languages. personally think it could be fun if he had played w that but he didn’t. idk if that’s bc he just cba or if as an American he basically just knows the queen’s english and the ‘it’s choosday’ accent but w/e.

anyway GOT is way funnier about this bc obviously their actors are all speaking in British accents so the comparisons and questions are inevitable and they are MANY. explain why davos and gendry, who come from precisely the same part of town, are speaking accents from diametrically opposite ends of the UK. why are Robert and Stannis speaking w northern accents and Renly w southern. two of Cersei’s children are distinctly northern Irish. it’s wild from head to toe but I can’t be mad it IS funny

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

Home. - Fluffy Ending (not canon) || cbf!Simon "Ghost" Riley

Rating: M Words: 2.8K Pairing: cbf!Simonxafab!reader / teen!Simonxteen!Reader Summary: Teen Simon and his best friend often spend their nights away from their respective houses because they found a home in each other… CW: none. Tags: you/your pronouns, reconnecting with family, wedding guests, second chance romance, time skip. a/n: not proofread. I didn't like the way I wrote this ending but I figured I should share it either way. It's too fluffy/forced for my taste. The actual alt ending will be better. ALSO: Was listening to Chemical by Post Malone on repeat while writing this. Idk if you wanna do that too while reading...

[MASTERLIST]

You're twenty-eight, he's twenty-nine.

You swore to yourself you wouldn’t step a foot back in Manc, not even if cows flew!

You swore to yourself you wouldn’t keep in contact with anyone, not even if someone died!

(Which your father did. Thank fuck.)

You broke those promises so many times.

You were unable to keep away, though you tried…

It’s your own fault, really.

You stalk your old friends and family on Facebook sometimes.

Other times you check the local news.

Others you check the obituary and marriage sections on the news.

You beat yourself over it every time. Even though seeing the lack of changes through your cyberstalking and the news made you feel immense relief, you still ended up closing the pages on your browser with more aggression than you should and sulking in your bed.

And yet, you still go and do it again a few weeks later.

And then another few weeks later.

It’s pathetic, really, but maybe it provides you some comfort. Maybe helps you sleep at night.

You should’ve figured out that someone would have made you eventually. 

I mean, naming your blank Facebook profile after the one mean neighbor you had, who called the police on you and your mates once for being too loud while hanging out in the street, and died years ago? Yeah, they’d make you eventually.

Luckily for you, it was Olly who did.

All things considered, it could’ve gone much worse.

Maybe… Maybe you should follow his advice.

It’s been a decade.

Your mum deserves at least a letter to let her know you’re still alive, that you’re healthy, happy, and safe. She’s owed that much…

-

It was very strange to be inside your childhood home after almost eleven years.

Four days ago, your mum had openly sobbed as she threw her arms around you, and you had found yourself sobbed with her, both of you falling to your knees at the front door.

She held your face so gingerly and kissed your forehead so many times, her face severely more aged than the last time you had seen her.

The letter you had sent her 8 months before was 23 pages long, a bulk so large you sent them unfolded and stapled together inside a manila envelope rather than folded neatly into a standard one, and had detailed everything you figured she should learn about your life. 

Where you went.

What you did.

Who you did it with.

How you felt.

What you learned.

How you changed.

You apologized for running away, for worrying her.

You assured her you loved her and missed her.

You asked, tentatively, if she could find a way to let you be a bit more present.

You reiterated you wanted to remain living where you were in Scotland… but that you could allow yourself to be her daughter again if she so wanted it.

You know she cried reading it. Hell, you cried writing it…

You didn’t expect anything, you didn’t want to cause her any more grief by coming barrelling back into her life. She’s your mother, you didn’t want to manipulate her. You weren’t surprised when she didn’t answer for a few weeks…

But then her letter came. A simple half-a-page response that said, in no uncertain terms, that she missed you, that you were always welcome in her home and her heart, and she wanted to have her little girl back.

It all culminated in today.

Adjusting your red gown with one hand, you walk up the aisle, the other holding your 10-month-old daughter who’s clad in a pale yellow tulle dress. She’s kept flush to your chest, her chubby legs wrapped around your hip.

You and your mum find a spot near the middle and sit down, though you scoot yourself as far on the pew as you can, making sure that you can step off to the side just in case Evelyn starts fussing. Though you doubt she will. 

The ceremony is being held in the middle of the afternoon and she has been calm and sleepy this whole time, softly dozing off in your arms, her little face nuzzling to your neck, since it’s close to her nap time.

You sit Evie down on your lap and place a hand on the back of her head while you and your mum speak softly, still waiting for the wedding ceremony to start.

You still can’t believe that you’re here…

Wythenshawe still looks as crappy as ever, you still know the streets like the back of your hand, though a lot of it has changed, shops went out and into business, and people moved away.

You met up with your old mates at your local just a couple of nights ago, and after a lot of tears and some drinking, you gossiped all night about your lives and everyone else’s.

In a way, it feels like you never left…

You were so afraid that they would hold a grudge at you for leaving, for not staying in touch… But they never did. You were welcomed with open arms…

It’s… nice.

The ceremony doesn’t take long to start. 

You nearly cry at the sight of Emily in her wedding dress, having deemed her a close friend for the better time of your formative years. And Olly, as emotionally detached as he tries to pretend himself to be, cries at the sight of his bride.

The ceremony is long and a bit tedious, as most weddings tend to be, but you’re still happy to be there… Happy to be back.

It’s nearly 45 minutes into the ceremony when Evie starts fussing a bit. You’re quick to take the nappy bag onto your shoulder and rush out of the church while shooting some apologetic looks to the guests around.

Once outside, you find shade under a tree and begin to bounce Evie a bit, knowing she isn’t fussing because of her diaper or hunger, but rather from the fact she’s teething.

One hand balances the infant, the other sets down the nappy bag on a low wall and you begin rummaging for the teething ring toy amidst the pockets. When you find it, you give it to her, which she gladly takes, though it doesn’t do much for her pain, only quieting her down a bit by allowing her to bite all over it.

“Shhh… it’s alright, pet…” You whisper to her as you kiss her smooth forehead and nuzzle your nose against the crown of her head.

You keep softly swaying and bouncing with her in your hip, moving about, side to side, while she drools all over the toy, her hands, and your dress as she softly headbutts your chest while chewing.

You’re lucky your dress is a dark enough shade of red and made from a fabric as forgiving as chiffon, so that the wetness will dry quickly and discreetly.

It’s in the midst of your pacing and bouncing the infant on your hip that you spot him.

His pale jawline peppered with a well-trimmed stubble, his blonde hair cut short and hidden under the beige beret, his strong build wrapped in full military dress…

You almost didn’t recognize him…

You leave your bag right where it is and beeline for him before you can stop yourself. 

And he makes no motion to move from his resting spot, leaning against a wall, smoking a cigarette, and looking right at you like you’re sure he has been doing for the past 15 minutes or so (you wouldn’t put it past him).

“Fuckin’ hell…” You hear yourself saying as you come to stand in front of Simon.

He tosses his cigarette down on the floor and puts it out with his brown boot, blowing the smoke away from your daughter on your hip.

“That how you greet people now?” He retorts while looking down at you through his fluttering eyelashes. 

His voice is so much deeper, rough and strong than it used to be… You don’t know how to respond at first, your mouth has gone dry and your brain has blue-screened.

You’ve had dreams about this before… Nightmares too.

You’ve imagined that one day you’d cross paths with him on the street and you’d stumble all over yourself. That he’d ask you how you’ve been or what you’ve done with your life and you’d have nothing to show for it…

You thought you’ve healed from your past, but here comes Simon Riley to indirectly tell you “HA! Think again, dumbass!”.

“You surprised me is all.” You end up saying, your voice carrying a maturity and a strength you didn’t know it could. “Didn’t think you’d come.”

“Didn’t think I would either. Got lucky this coincided with my leave.” He remarks. “Could say the same to you, though.” He adds.

You can’t tell if he meant to offend with that comment. Olly had told you through Facebook that he told Simon about you vanishing off the face of the Earth and that Simon didn’t take it well. You knew he, rightfully so, expected you to stay gone.

“Got back in touch with Olly and the rest of my family.” You remark simply and shrug.

He keeps looking at you with those brown eyes of his, with a certain coldness behind you that forcefully reminds you that this is not the same person you used to know. The boy he was and the man he is are forcefully different people.

“Cute kid.” He adds after a beat of silence as his eyes flit to your daughter who’s still very much in her own world with her teething toy.

“Thanks.” You reply.

This feels awkward. You’re finally standing face to face (more like face-to-chest, goddamn is the man tall) after a whole ten years. Are you even friends? No. But are you acquaintances? Also no. And you have too much of a history to be strangers. 

So what are you?

“What’s her name?” He asks as he looks back at you.

“Evie.” You answer. “Evelyn.” You correct yourself before adding. “Evie for short.”

“Hm.” He remarks unemotionally. His eyes flit over you up and down, taking in… everything about you.

You are a confident person, you’d say. You feel good in your own skin. You like your reflection when you see yourself in the mirror. And you feel like a million bucks in this dress, which wraps around your body beautifully, the fabric making you look delicate and soft.

But under his scrutinizing gaze, you feel anything but confident.

So, you take a breath and return the same scrutinizing gaze, up and down, taking in every inch of him, your eyes just as strong and confident as his own. He notices, because of course he does, and he puffs out his chest and raises his chin, to allow you to keep looking at him, showing himself off a bit proudly.

He’s wearing a khaki formal uniform, or full dress as you remember it being called, and although it's been ten years, you still remember some things about all the stuff you investigated about the British Army, so you could keep up with him, impress him with your knowledge.

A brown waist belt with a sash across the right soldier means he’s an Officer… The buttons are gold and shaped like winged parachutes, and he wears a beret instead of a cap. A beige beret to be exact, which means he’s no longer in the Parachute Regiments, who wear maroon ones. There’s a cap badge on the beret and the Excalibur on it tells you one thing: he’s special forces. You don’t remember which one… but you know he’s something big, bad, and important.

“Special Forces.” You muse out loud, showing off what you noticed.

His eyebrows raise, impressed by you, and then he nods. “Somethin’ like that.” He adds.

“Done well for yourself, then.” You add and he nods again and blinks while smirking, as if trying to humbly pat himself on the back for it.

“She have a dad?” Simon asks while shooting Evelyn a look. The words escape his mouth quicker than he wanted and sound a lot more judgemental than he meant for them to.

The way your eyebrows raised at him, the same way they used to when he’d say something bloody stupid as a teen, told him you weren’t pleased and that he had put his foot in his mouth.

“Sorry.” He says though it’s clear he doesn’t mean it. “Came out wrong.” He tells you.

You might have gone ten years apart but you knew Simon like the back of your hand at one point… And you knew sometimes he’d say things aloud when he meant to keep them as thoughts. It’s clearly that’s a habit he still has.

“I know what you meant.” You reply bluntly as you fix your grip on the infant, swiveling her a bit to sit on your other side.

“What’s the answer then? She got a dad?” He probes as he dips his head a bit to the side, his arms hanging by his side as he looks you up and down.

“Aye.” You end up replying, the Scottish word slipping past your lips then you meant for it to. You still speak English with a Manc accent, just like him, but there are little quirks like this one that you’ve adopted after living in Dundee for ten years.

Simon’s eyebrows cock up as well at the sound of Scottish word, and you can tell he finds it odd, but he doesn’t comment. “Where’s he, then?” He retorts. “No ring on your finger.” He adds.

Your eyes drift down to your left hand which is wrapped around your daughter now, the splayed fingers showing a distinct lack of a wedding ring. He sounds just as judgemental. But you don’t let it ruffle your feathers.

“Separated.” You reply maturely. “No ring on yours.” You say and nod toward his own left hand which also lacks a ring.

“Married to the job.” He replies and you can’t help but let out a snort of a chuckle, which makes him chuckle dryly too.

“‘f course you are.” You add in reply.

“Could’ve been married to you.” He retorts with the same casualty of someone saying ‘Nice weather today’.

You scoff and shake your head. “Really?” You add.

“Ye.” He adds. “Had a ring and everythin’.” He quips. “Then Olly told me you ran off into the night.”

You scoff again, mostly out of disbelief, and look away from him, your eyes flittering over the courtyard in front of the church.

The ceremony should be finishing soon enough.

“Dodged a bullet then.” You remark dryly, smiling a bit in amusement.

“You or me?” He retorts and you find your eyes drifting upwards to him again.

For a moment you just both stare at each other in silence… 

Your eyes are locked in the same way they used to whenever the two of you were about to throw themselves at one another as teens… 

Then, he breaks into a grin, and so do you, the both of you looking away for a moment. His tongue presses against the inside of his cheek. You’re both amused at the cheekiness of your comment.

“How long are you stayin'?” He asks you once you both glance at each other again.

“Goin’ home on the 26th.” You tell him. “How long’ve you got leave for?” 

“‘Till the 27th.” He replies and dips his head to the side a bit.

This is definitely crazy.

You secretly wonder if you’ve gone mad.

A decade has gone by… But there’s no mistaking the electricity in the air.

That light buzzing of goosebumps that prickle at your skin, making the hair in the back of your neck stand… Like lightning is about to strike…

“Take me out to dinner.” You demand abruptly and narrow your eyes at him.

He presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek again in amusement. “Are you askin’ me on a date?” He retorts.

“No. I’m tellin’ you.” You add, watching how his brown eyes swiftly light ablaze with a certain fire you never expected to see after so many years apart.

“Tomorrow?” He suggests.

“Tomorrow.” You add.

“I’ll pick you up at 9.” He adds.

You know damn well that 9 P.M. is too damn late for dinner… But you also know that in reality, your ‘dinner’ will be grabbing Nando’s and cheap beer, and eating in the backseat of his car in that one side road you always used to go to… talking into the night… and probably definitely fucking each other’s brains out.

“Like the good ol’ days.” You remark.

“Mhm.” He adds.

Then, the church doors open and the guests come pouring out, forcing the two of you to separate.

But you can still see the smirk on his lips from afar as you walk off to grab your nappy bag, find your mum, and get ready for the rice toss.

[MASTERLIST]

taglist: @iite-cool , @spicyspicyliving

[wonderpig204]

rewatching nbc hannibal with my mum, and then hearing her opinion of it once we finished it made me realise how much you have to interpret this series as i think it was intended: as an archetypal Shakespearian problem play.

it combines the discussion of drama and very grave topics with bursts of humour and recurring intellectual bits, essentially fitting into a similar tragicomedy genre as several of Shakespeare's plays

and this dichotomy of theme is set up from the very first episode!! like the whiplash scene cut between the discussions of the murder committed by hobbs' copycat and hannibal having a ball cooking her lungs to swelling classical music establishes this blending of genre from the beginning of the series.

hannibal's one liners (sometimes even LOOKING DOWN THE BARREL OF THE CAMERA *cough*s3 when he killed that guy with an ice pick*cough*) also add to this uneasy sense of comedy, one that one is only able to interpret and appreciate once having accepted that the atrocities being committed are just a staple of this storyline and universe that, although are used to convey meaning in different ways, are not indicative of the tone of the series as a whole.

like in measure for measure, for example, the basic facts of the story are that claudio is going to be executed, unless his sister gives up her morality. this threat of death hangs over the whole play, and most of the themes discussed in it are dark and complex ruminations on justice, power, and authority- this would lead the reader to expect a tragedy or some sort of drama. however, this is interlaced with occasional bouts of bawdy humour to lighten the mood, not dissimilar to hannibal's rather self-incriminating cannibal jokes in the midst of investigating murders that HE COMMITTED.

i just find it really interesting how differently one sees the show if not being able to get past the barrier of its dark and dreary themes.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[poppadom0912]

His Girl

Warnings: Brief mentions of the Burke drama and Hannah's overdose situation, Will's dating life?

Summary: Through all the women in his life, at the end, only one ever truly mattered.

A/N: Just because I want to, I'm changing a few things around just for the plot. I was inspired by several fics on ao3 about singlefather!Will so i thought i'd make this part of my Faith Halstead series. Hope you enjoy!!

This is my last fic of the year. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and will have a wonderful new year. Fingers crossed 2024 will be our year. See you all next year!!!

Faith's mother had never been present. It had always been just Faith and Will from day one and he never saw a reason for that to change till he moved back home to Chicago.

Then Will's favourite duo became a trio, Jay unsurprisingly becoming a staple in their lives. Will didn't see any reason to change this dynamic when everyone was happy.

But then he met a few women who changed some things.

Natalie was the first to some degree. There were feelings on both sides but she had a newborn son and a mother-in-law who didn't like him for some reason. Their kiss was a 'mistake' and so he moved on.

Nina was his first official girlfriend since moving back and his hesitancy to get back into the dating scene was as clear as day. So they took it as slow as necessary.

Will was scared. He liked Nina relatively and they were at a point where he was comfortable enough to introduce her to Faith but the lingering fear of abandonment remained. He didn't want to introduce a female and a possible maternal figure into her life just for them to leave.

Luckily, Faith was just touching five when they broke up and he finally got with Natalie.

Those two to three years could be described as near bliss.

He loved Natalie and to see how she took Faith in with open arms, he could've cried on the spot right then. And she was the perfect older sister to Owen, three years her younger, getting along as though they were blood related siblings and being as thick as thieves.

"Hey bubbles." Will called out. His nerves radiating as he sat down besides his daughter on the floor with her toys splayed out on the carpet.

"How would you feel about papa and Natalie getting married?" He asked, apprehension lacing his words. Marriage and having a mother were topics Will often breached with Faith but it had never got this serious and he'd never do anything to this degree without having Faith's permission.

But the second her brown eyes lit up as bright as the stars in the sky, Will felt like everything was finally coming together and for once, he could give his daughter everything she wanted and deserved.

Faith was seven when everything came tumbling down.

She'd been with the bridal party when everything unfolded. She tried remaining naive to the nerves of the bride who she had yet to start calling mum. She tried remaining oblivious at the church when her dad hadn't shown up yet but she sobbed her little heart out when Will was dragged away from her into witness protection.

For the first time in her life, Faith didn't have her dad and she didn't know what to do with herself. Nothing made sense to her, living in a house with Natalie and Owen but not her papa.

When uncle Jay Jay brought him back though, Faith's world was glued back together again, she could finally breathe and for a second everything went back to normal and she thought they'd get the happy ending they deserved.

But then Natalie, the only motherly figure she had besides Maggie, broke up with Will and wouldn't let the duo back into her life.

That was the first ever heartbreak Faith experienced and somewhere deep down, she wasn't sure she was ever going to forgive Natalie for putting her and her papa through such pain like they hadn't been through so much already.

Her newly turned hatred was made apparent. Once the father and daughter moved out, whenever Faith found herself visiting the ED, she actively tried avoiding the woman and if they happened to stumble upon each other, Faith would send the hardest glare a seven-year-old could muster and not even a hi was exchanged.

Natalie's hurt didn't make Faith feel too guilty. She only felt a little bad when Will gently scolded her for being so cold to the woman who was supposed to be her mother once upon a time.

Faith was eight when she was introduced to Hannah. Ever since Natalie, Will had been more hesitant than ever to get into a relationship. The pain Faith went through post breaking up with Natalie had been long lasting and the thought of that happening again deterred Will from the dating scene.

But surprisingly, Faith was the first to propose he go forth with whatever his feelings for Hannah were. Somewhere deep down, apparently, Faith had a soft spot for the OBGYN that gave Will the confidence to move forward.

However, fast forward one year and no disrespect towards Hannah, but if Will could go back in time, he would've changed things.

Will could never forget the events that unfolded that night.

He was coming back from work, you were with Hannah at her apartment, spending the night together which made Will feel some sort of way knowing how well the two were getting along.

The apartment was pin drop silent when he entered which was surprising since it was a weekend and Faith always begged with her puppy eyes to stay up, Hannah could never resist them.

Just as he was taking his jacket off, he heard a familiar cry that caused the hair on his arms to stand on end, his head snapping up at the sound.

Will moved faster than he ever did before, taking large strides towards the distressing cries he barely heard from his little girl as she got older.

"Bubbles, what's-" Will cut himself off as he rounded the corner and caught himself in the bathroom doorway, gripping the doorframe so he wouldn't trip from how fast he was moving.

"Papa!" Faith's voice cracked as she cried. The second she saw her father; she scrambled up from where she was sat on her knees on the ground. "I w- I was just going to brush my teeth when I heard a bang and, and I found her..."

Faith sobbed into her father’s shirt, back turned to the unconscious woman on the floor, her face pushing into his torso as though she could burn away the image from her mind but she had seen enough.

Will immediately switched back on. "Bubbles, listen to me. I need you to go into her room and get that big bag that papa has at home and bring it. Can you do that for me Faith?"

Faith hiccupped, rubbing her red eyes as she nodded up at her dad. Will pressed a quick kiss onto her temple before watching her scramble out the bathroom allowing him to give all his attention to his girlfriend.

It was safe to say, that night did quite a number on Faith and Will found himself taking the blame.

Now in present time, Will hadn't dated anyone since Hannah. He talked to a few women at work and if things had been so much more simpler, something could've happened but then everything flashed before his eyes and he stopped himself.

Faith was eleven now and she was still the sole focus of his life besides work. He could never forgive himself for what he put her through with the women he tried bringing into their lives only for it to never work out.

In the end though, when all was done it seemed that just the two of them survived and thrived perfectly alone.

When Faith first came into Will's life, it was just the two of them battling alone together in a world neither could navigate and eleven years later, it was a little easier but there was still so much Will wished he could get rid of just for her sake.

The sound of the car door opening broke him out of his thoughts, his head turning as he smiled at his dishevelled daughter.

"Hey, how was school?" Will asked, softly smiling at her messy braid, tucking back the fly away hairs behind her ears before pulling away from the school.

Faith hummed, fiddling with her beaded bracelet. "Was good, I have a permission slip you need to sign."

"I'll do it tonight after work, make sure to remind me." Will told her as he started driving towards his brothers and sisters-in-law’s place. Despite his failing love life, his younger brother managed to settle down and Hailey loved Faith despite the short amount of time she knew her.

"Papa-" Faith stumbled over her words, picking the skin around her nails as she tried to form her question. "Um, are you happy?"

Will was caught off guard. His eyes widened a little as he took one hand off the wheel to stop Faith from picking her skin, his tutting making her stop instantly.

"What? Why would you ask that bubbles? Of course I am, I'm more than happy." Will answered confidently, looking at her at a red light to try understand what was going through her mind.

"Why? What happened at school?" Will's tone changed at the thought of someone saying something bad to his little girl.

"No! No! It was nothing like that I promise!" Faith hastily answered before her dad could turn the car back around to give the school a piece of his mind.

"It's just, you haven't gone on a date since Hannah..." Faith licked her lips nervously as she brought up Will's ex who didn't have the best lasting effects on them. "Is it because of me?"

"Of course not. Why would you think that?" Will asked her calmly, completely confused as to why she was thinking in such a way. "I promise you bubbles that I'm happy. You're all I need Faith."

While he drove, Will took a quick glance over to his right and found himself smiling at the adorable face Faith was making. Her eyes squinted from how hard she was smiling to herself at her father's comment.

"C'mere you little gremlin." Will said, welcoming how fast she got up from her seat to be enveloped into his arms. Squeezing as tight as he could, Will made sure not to suffocate her before pressing a kiss onto her hairline.

"Alright, love you lots. Have fun-"

"But not too much fun. I'll keep Uncle Jay in line." Faith rolled her eyes, already knowing what her dad was going to say since he'd been saying the same thing all her life.

Watching his not so baby girl run out the car and towards her uncle's home, Will felt his heart flutter, his chest all warm.

Yeah, he's made some questionable decisions regarding his love life but there was not one mistake made when it came to Faith. When everything came tumbling down, she was all that mattered and he wouldn’t have it any other way.