#mugging people with combine harvesters

[choppedcowboydinosaur]

Obligatory song for kropotkindersuprirse..

Who had “English government enacts Haito Edict” on their 2024 bingo?

[forgedroyalseal]

Life a bit to the left

Chapter Ten

TW: child abuse, blood

Will hadn’t even taken a step off the porch when he heard a crash from inside the cabin.

“It’s probably nothing. Just keep walking.” He whispered to himself. It was already nearly midday and Will didn’t want to miss his first opportunity to go to the harvest festival. Despite having no previous desire to attend, his conversation with Halt the night before had sparked an interest. Halt had mentioned it as though it was something Will should have been begging to attend, and yet, the thought hadn’t even occurred to Will. It made Will realize how disconnected he was from so many of his peers. The brief interaction with the children who had been raised as Baron Arlad’s wards was the most time he had spent with people his own age in years. The harvest festival seemed like the perfect opportunity to expand his world outside of the walls of his cabin.

Or it would be, if only he could bring himself to keep walking. He took another step, but before his foot had even fallen back down, there was another crash, then another. Will sighed and turned back around. “Dad?” The moment Will pulled the door open, a book came flying at him. It hit him square in the nose, and instantly hot blood began to pour down his face. The burning pain sent tears to his eyes, but thankfully his vision wasn’t so blurred that he wasn’t able to see the next hardcover that was coming his way. Will dropped to his knees and the book slammed against the wall behind him.

“Dad, stop it!” Will shouted as Daniel continued to throw anything he could get his hands on against the walls. Will crawled forward on his elbows as clay shards from exploding mugs and plates rained down. When he reached his father he wrapped his arms around his dad’s knees and grappled him to the floor. Daniel’s hands slapped desperately against Will’s head and back, but there was little strength behind the blows.

“Calm down. It’s ok.” Will wrapped himself around his father, trapping him to the floor. He was suddenly glad for all the brutal training he had been doing with Halt. At the time he had moaned about the repetitive lessons, but clearly his training regimen, combined with the regular meals Halt had been forcing on him, had paid off. He was stronger than ever and was now an actual match for his father. He held on until his father stopped struggling and his breathing evened out.

Will slowly released his grip, cautiously backing up just in case his father got a second wind. Will’s mind flashed back to a day where Will had thought his father had fallen asleep after a similar episode, only to be greeted with a kick to the knee the moment he turned his back. This time however, Daniel seemed down for the count, muttering slowly to himself on the floor. Will looked around and surveyed the damage. Cursing he realized that nearly every dish they had laid in pieces on their kitchen floor. Books with cracked spines and splintering wooden spoons were scattered across the cabin. For the life of him, Will couldn’t understand what had triggered this episode. Not that there had to be one, Will knew that well enough, but his father had been managing fine on his own while Will was at Halt’s, and he hadn’t even snuck out to get drunk the night before. In fact, Will had felt as though they had been on an upswing lately.

“I suppose this is what I get for wishful thinking.” Will muttered as he dabbed at his nose. The bleeding hadn’t slowed much and the front of his shirt was sticky and red. It had been his best, not that that meant more than that it was relatively clean and had the least amount of holes. Now it had fallen to the bottom of his very short list of clothing options. He looked around at the trashed cabin again and felt rage building within him. One afternoon. He had wanted one single afternoon for himself. To be a normal fifteen year old for once in his life. To not have to worry about his father or where their next meal would come from or the fact that his pants were getting too short and his boots too tight and he had no means of replacing them. One afternoon to try to have fun with people his own age for the first time in his pathetic life.

Without a word, Will stepped over his mumbling and shaking father and walked straight out of their cabin, wishing he could walk out of his life just as easily.

////

Alyss liked to believe she wasn’t easily rattled, but when the young man whose face was dripping with blood passed her on the road, she couldn’t help but step as far from him as the path would allow. When he stopped and turned to her, she began to regret turning down Horace’s offer to walk her back to her apartment at Castle Redmont.

“Alyss?”

She startled but then leaned forward. Looking past the bloodstains, she realized she knew this boy.

“Will? From the Chosing Day? What happened to your face?” Her face fluttered around his face, desperate to do something but scared of hurting him even further.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He grumbled, but there was no heat behind his words, just weariness.

“Come with me to the Castle. Lady Pauline can help clean you up.”

Alyss saw the uncertainty in his eyes and added, “And if I leave you alone looking like this, I’ll be so worried I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Come on.” She tried her best to widen her eyes and pout her lips the way she had seen other girls do when they were trying to get what they wanted. The expression felt foreign on her face, and she was certain she looked a fool. But she watched Will’s resolve crumble so clearly something she had done had worked.

“So long as it’s not a bother to either of you. I wouldn’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not. I’ve heard Lady Pauline wonder after you a couple of times since we met. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you again.” Alyss left off the fact that Pauline would be livid at the bloodstains and Will’s crooked nose, but Alyss saw no point in telling him that. After all, he wouldn’t be on the receiving end of her wrath and Pauline was nothing if not skilled in controlling her emotions when needed.

Will shrugged, “Right then, lead the way.”

[forest-falcon]

WIP Whatever!

Felt Autumn-y today so rattled this off whilst cooking dinner. Not written in a while so just trying to get something out. Hopefully will add a bit to it soon. 🍁🍂🎃🌿🍃

Pumpkin

"Pumpkins, pumpkins, pumpkins, pumpkins! It's pumpkin picking daaaaay!"

Gordon skidded through the living room, almost knocking over the carpet washer, which had taken up permanent residence there with the turn of the season.

"Where are my octopus wellies?"

He rummaged through the old wooden chest situated near the front door. A myriad of odd shoes piled behind him as he discarded trainer after flipflop belonging to his older brothers.

"You're picking all those up." Virgil appeared, arms folded at the mess.

"Am not! People can put them on their feet, duh." Gordon grinned and donned a pair of John's favourite sandals. These would do. He wasn't one for socks anyway and the octopus wellies had probably seen better days...wherever they were.

"You can't wear those."

Virgil materialised a mug of hot coffee from thin air. Now that he was a teenager, Virgil was all about having his coffee in the morning. Mr. adult-y pants. It was a phase. It would pass. Gordon was sure of it.

"And why not?" He wiggled his toes, knowing full-well why not.

"John will feed you to the combine harvester if you baptise his favourite sandals in mud." Virgil quirked a bemused eyebrow.

"What?...Skinny Space Noodle? He couldn't catch this fish."

John wouldn't even try. John was more tactical than that. He'd simply bat his pretty green eyes at his eldest brother, and mini-mum would find a way to get them back; though it looked like not-mother number two had beaten Scott to it on this occasion.

"I don't know..." Virgil's voice echoed from somewhere within his brew.

"How fast can you run in sandals?

"Faster than Johnny-boy, that's for sure!"

"But not faster than me."

Virgil tipped his head back to noisily slurp the final dregs from his mug. Gordon saw his opportunity to slip the net. Darting under Teenage Mutant Ninja Virgil's arm; he took off at a speed befitting a startled ray.

FLIP-FLOP-FLIP-FLOP-FLIP-FLOP

He wasn't even sure he cared about the sandals per se; it was more the principle of not being bossed about. Virgil was not his mum.

Where to hide, where to hide?

Kitchen? No, dining room! He could barricade himself with the chairs...

FLIP-FLOP-FLIP-FLOP-FLIP-FLOP

...Goodie-two-shoes may be bigger than him, but he'd wager that Mr. Muscle wouldn't fit so easily behind the far side of the table.

FLIP-FLOP-FLIP

He had this. He-

"GOTCHA!"

A mammoth hand clutched his shoulder.

Gordon flailed and kicked, but Virgil had him shrink-wrapped in one of his soppy bro hugs.

"Now give Johnny back his shoes."

"NEVER! Why do you care anyway? They're not even your sandals!"

Virgil leaned back slightly so that his hug lifted the squirming squid clean off the floor.

"Last chance."

"Finders keepers, astro-boy weepers!"

"Alright. Can't say I didn't warn you, pumpkin."

"Pumpkin?"

[beantrust-coffeebar]

A Sunday Morning at Beantrust with Erik and Erin

At 8:30 on a Sunday morning, you might expect most people to be asleep in bed, watching the news, or making a pancake breakfast for their family. However, people in Beverly, Massachusetts, know that their morning pick-me-up can be created by the kind staff at Beantrust Coffeebar. 

Behind the counter, you will likely find Erik Modahl, the owner, and Erin Wood, one of the store’s newest baristas. Erik opened the physical store for Beantrust in October 2020. Open every day of the week from 7 am to 2 pm, customers can stop in for a drink, purchase a loaf of bread from Bonny Breads, or a sweet pastry from A&J King Artisan Bakers. While Erik talks to first-time customers, gives treats to dogs on their morning walks, and hands out pastries; Erin is handcrafting each individual drink on the Beantrust menu and checking out customers. 

Although Erin has only been a Beantrust Coffeebar barista since April of 2024, she is already attuned to the many regulars who visit the shop. When one woman walked into the store, Erin immediately started on her two large honey cinnamon lattes that she put in the woman’s personal to-go mugs. The woman, her husband, and their toddler in a stroller continued on their morning walk. The attentiveness to each customer is a signature of the Beantrust experience, and Erin has quickly mastered this.

Erin, a resident in the nearby Danvers, is currently attending Simmons University to get her master's degree in library and information science. Her dream career is to work as a rare books librarian, focusing on the preservation of old pieces of literature. Until then, coffee and pastries are her focus. 

For six years, Erin has worked as a barista in various coffee shops and has worked her way to the management level. But while completing her academic studies, she wanted a more relaxed position. She described Beantrust as having a more chill environment with a strong team of close-knit staff members. 

With all of her prior experience, Erin is clearly an expert at her job. Whether making a latte with one of dozens of flavor syrups in infinite combinations, an iced green matcha drink, a hot chai perfect for the fall, or just a black coffee harvested from one of a variety of international countries; her expertise is evident in the swiftness and consistency in her creations.

The coffee is one of the reasons Erin loves Beantrust so much. For herself, she enjoys “switching it up” to try new creations, but finds herself always falling back on a reliable ice vanilla latte with oat milk. The focus on the drinks leading to a fantastic guest experience is something she prides herself on doing well. The service is much appreciated by the customers, as most everyone left a tip and a “thank you.”

She emphasized her ability to be able to read customers to tell if they are looking for someone to chat with, or just want to get their treats and head out. Since Beantrust is the most regular-focused work establishment she’s had experience in, this set of skills has been extremely beneficial. “This is the most I’ve gotten to know people, [it’s] more regular focused than other [stores],” she described. 

Throughout the rest of the morning, Erin continued to make some of the most popular drinks at Beantrust. Multiple young girls ordered vanilla lattes, many of the older folks went for black coffees, and the regulars were excited to change up their order to try the specialty fall drinks.

Kids begged their parents for one of every sweet pastry in the bakery case, and some walked out with homemade chocolate milk, too. Talks of the New England Patriots versus Jacksonville Jaguars game that night had the Bostonians excited, and the New York Yankees making it to the World Series did the opposite. 

No matter how you walk into Beantrust Coffeebar, Erin’s smile and expertise with an espresso machine make mornings better, one sip at a time. 

[gardenerian]

it can't be the same gallagher and milkovich -

but then, who else could it be?

it's surely some combination of the gallaghers and milkoviches she remembers. phillip maybe, though she'd imagined him as a doctor or something by now. the little one, then, the one who was always lighting his toys on fire - but would he really protect anything for a living?

and the milkoviches. they'd kept her away from the milkoviches for the most part, and she knew them as shadows around the neighborhood. did one of them manage to get out?

anything's possible, of course. look at her.

ethel peers down at the scribbled reminder malik left, a yellow sticky note fixed to her mug of tea. meeting with gallagher-milkovich security at 2. see you then. - m

the kitchen is quiet. the kids have been dropped off at school by now, hurried out the door by malik while she finished her morning chores. ethel settles into her chair, brings the steaming mug of tea to her lips.

if it's them - they'll know, right? they'll know what happened.

they'd moved back to illinois before the pandemic, when malik's grandmother was so sick and he wanted to see her through it. to close a chapter, he'd said. to say a real goodbye.

so she packed up their little house and gathered up the kids. ethel had refused to live in chicago proper again. too many ghosts, too many words unsaid and lives unlived.

she'd begged malik not to move them back to the southside. ethel had faced down many demons over the years - leaving them behind hasn't been one of them. not yet.

he'd just kissed her face and stroked her hair. you're coming with me, he whispered into her hands as he held them to his lips, that's enough. and they started looking for houses the next morning.

their place is outside the city. for a while, ethel would drop malik off at the train so he could ride in for work and to see his grandmother. and she'd spend her days gardening, setting up the new house, seeing to the kids.

malik climbed into the car one evening with the world on his shoulders. grandmother was suffering - and though ethel prayed for a peaceful ease into death, god seemed to have another experience designed.

would you help? he asked, and pressed some seeds into her hands.

that's how it started.

they made oil from the cuttings malik got from a coworker, baked it into treats to ease grandmother's pain. ethel planted the seeds in a corner of the garden, eyes stinging as she remembered a bright room beneath a bar. another garden, another yard. another life.

before too long they were helping their neighbors and friends with their own pain. and when the pandemic hit, when people were so anxious and afraid, ethel felt called to help. she prayed over her plants, that they would bring peace and healing to those who turned to them.

they bought more land, built up a greenhouse. malik rents an office in the city where he can handle the business. ethel tends to stay home, running the planting and the harvesting - wondering what they would think if they could see her now.

helping the blind hadn't been his intention back then; ethel knows that now. but she knows he would. that's the kind of people they were.

she goes into the city today to meet with the security team malik found online. their life is changing so fast, this business that sprung up out of nowhere growing larger every day. now they need help.

ethel struggled with the morality of it for a while. suffering is divine after all. but she's learned that not all suffering is holy - sometimes pain is just pain. and maybe the holiness comes from easing the pain of others, from loosening its grip on the neck of your friends. of yourself.

maybe it's okay to heal. maybe it's okay to change. to seek a life free of pain, if possible.

she thinks of them, on the train. it had taken a while for ethel to seek them out, to let them know she's here - she's here and she's whole and she's making a life with her family.

but by the time she'd gathered the courage and found her way to knock on their front door, the house was gone. knocked down to its foundation, a developer's sign in the front yard.

and ethel turned around and went home.

malik offered to help look them up, find a new address or phone number. ethel said thank you, but no. she just continued to pray for them, pray for another time. life marched on.

and now a freckled face is looking at her curiously over malik's desk in the city. so it's ian, then. the quiet one, the one who flitted in and out of that house on the corner.

mickey milkovich sits next to him, explaining their services and pricing model. his tattooed hands wave wildly in front of his face as he speaks.

they wear matching rings.

ethel never knew these two. not really. she sat on those steps with debbie, carried liam around the yard, handed off a popsicle or five to carl. fiona was at their house a lot, eyeing her with the same curiosity she sees in ian right now.

so she's not surprised they don't know her. she smiles politely as they talk about their armored cars, their trusted staff, their long list of clients. she remembers ian shuffling around the neighborhood with phillip, sometimes sporting a black eye or a limp.

she remembers that store where these two often sat bickering while she picked up supplies for daycare. when ethel looks at them now, she can almost see those boys underneath it all.

ian keeps watching her, and she sees him file through his memories behind those narrowed green eyes.

malik stands when the pitch is over, shakes their hands. he lightly elbows ethel from her own memories and she laughs a little as she stands as well. ian straightens at the sound, grip tightening on her hand. he bites his lip, tilts his head.

he wants to ask.

but he doesn't want to seem rude, perhaps, so he just nods and follows mickey out the door after promising to be in touch.

ethel settles back into her seat. malik picks up his phone and scrolls through his email for a moment before looking back at her.

"you think he's gonna remember on his own?"

"you know who they are?"

"'course i do," malik chuckles. "you think i grew up where i did and don't know gallaghers or milkoviches?"

ethel blushes. of course he knows. he was here before she was. he's come home in a way she hasn't yet.

"i don't blame him," she sighs. "not sure why he would know me - "

she hears the huffing of breath before he appears in the doorway. ethel looks away from malik to find ian gallagher leaning in the entryway, hand over his chest.

"ethel?" he breathes. "kev and vee's ethel?"

kev and vee's ethel.

she could have been theirs. maybe she was, for a time. but she was always jonah's ethel first. clyde's ethel, malik's ethel.

now maybe ethel's own ethel at last.

but she thinks she would have liked being theirs, in another life. another world, a better world. where little girls can take their time growing up.

"that's me," she says, not wanting to correct him. she likes to be remembered as theirs.

"holy shit," he says, before clapping a hand over his mouth. "sorry, i forgot - "

ethel waves him off. they taught her to be less severe. and there is something holy here, he's right.

"do they know you're here?" he asks, making room for mickey who's now elbowing into the office.

"no," ethel answers, shoulders falling. "i don't - i didn't know where they went."

"fuckin' kentucky," mickey spits. "'bout a year ago."

"louisville," ian supplies. "but they've been back to visit a lot already. holy shit - sorry - we have to call them!"

ethel sinks back into her seat. malik's hand comes to rest on her shoulder, and she can feel the concern in his gaze. this is all happening so fast. can it just happen - so suddenly, like that?

maybe it can.

"please," she grins. "call them."

-

tamika and jonah complain about wearing their sunday clothes on a friday night, but ethel bribes them with extra dessert.

it's a special night.

she'd spent the day making the house sparkle, setting out food - their favorites, bringing in greenery and flowers. she wants them to know.

she wants them to know what they did for her.

his shadow moves across the floor as they appear in the screen door, hovering on the front porch. faces pressed against the mesh, peering inside with barely veiled excitement. fear. grief. joy.

ethel wipes her hands on her apron and moves to let them into the glow of the house. malik appears by her side, ushering them inside with handshakes and welcomes. two little girls wander in after them.

little sisters, in another life.

she's surrounded by them then, two strong arms lifting her up and holding her tight, two elegant hands rubbing at her arms, holding her face.

they smile brightly through their tears, drinking her in and reaching out like they can't help but touch her. like they need to be sure she's real. she bites her lip when she realizes she's reaching back.

"i'm sorry," she whispers as she leads them to the armchairs by the fire. "i'm just so sorry," she says again as she holds out a plate of homemade breads and cheese.

out of the corner of her eye, ethel sees the twins move closer to tamika and jonah, who offer up a plate of cookies in welcome. malik herds them over to the fire, where they can sit a play games together.

kevin tears off a hunk of bread and shoves it in his mouth, nearly choking as he eats and cries. "what're you sorry for?" he garbles through his chewing.

veronica rolls her eyes. "what he means is: we understand. we missed you, but we understand."

ethel puts the plate aside and holds out her hands to them.

"i prayed for you," she says. it's the most honest thing she can think to say right now. even when she was hurting and healing and mourning a childhood she hadn't known she missed, they lived in her prayers.

tears spill over; veronica reaches out and wipes them away.

"we prayed for you," she says. "never stopped."

ethel knew that, in the back of her mind. they kind of people they are. but it warms her soul to hear it.

"now," veronica says, tossing her hair behind her shoulder, "tell us everything."

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Cult Girl (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 13

Hello friends we have come to the end of Cult Girl. Thank you all for hyping me up throughout this story and giving me the confidence to actually post my work. Y/n and Hannibal throw a dinner party.

The sunlight streamed in through the window, illuminating the entire kitchen in that homey mid-morning glow. You were enjoying your coffee and scrolling through an article on your phone.

"Senator Hatch reportedly coughed up his late wife's toe on the floor of the precinct." You read out loud. "Huh. Wonder how that could have happened."

You side-eyed Hannibal, who was contentedly sharpening his knives. Placing a rather large meat cleaver to the side, he met your gaze. "I have my ways."

You finished off your coffee and brought the mug to the sink. "There was no way Theresa was going to survive that night, was there?"

"Clever girl." Hannibal praised.

"You were going to kill her if I didn't, were you?" You felt a smile coming on. "Did everything turn out as expected?"

"Darling, this all went much better than I could have ever hoped for." He smirked. "See, I had the whole evening mapped out. I was hoping you'd be the one to deliver justice and kill her, but I had to prepare for the possibility that you wouldn't."

You folded your arms and leaned against the island. "Is that why I was so sick that day?"

You could have sworn you saw some hesitation in Hannibal's face. Maybe even a touch of regret. "Yes. You needed an alibi. It was as easy as removing a single birth control pill from your packet. You'd see it was missing and think you'd already taken your medicine-"

"So I'd neglect to take my focus meds." You cut in. "Yeah, I knew something was off."

"By the end of the day, you'd be experiencing full withdrawal symptoms." Hannibal nodded. "I don't take any pleasure in upsetting the delicate balance of your brain chemistry, and for that I am sorry. I did what I had to."

"Yeah, don't ever do that again." You ordered, no disarming smile in sight. "I need those meds to function."

"I promise you, darling," Hannibal said, sincerely. "I would never keep you from being anything but your very best. I was just looking after you."

"I suppose now that all this is out in the open, you won't need to pull any shit like that again." You muttered. "But I'm still going to keep my pills at my apartment."

"That reminds me." He said. "Would you like to invite your roommates for dinner tonight? I've prepared a wonderful Spanish-inspired menu that's perfect for entertaining."

"I'd love for you to meet my friends, but, they all keep such weird hours I doubt they'll all be free tonight." You shrugged. "I'll give them a call though."

"Wonderful." He smiled. "You make arrangements while I prepare the kitchen."

You stepped into the office and called up Pilar. She answered within the minute.

"[F/N]!" She near shouted. "Holy fuck, how are you doing?"

"I'm actually doing..." you looked back into the kitchen, watching your beloved Hannibal in his element. "Really well."

"I heard about your cousin." Pilar cut in. "One down, two to go."

You snorted. "No fucking shit."

"Sorry, was that okay for me to say?" She apologized. "I know you said Theresa was a bitch, but it's your trauma and I-"

"No, you're fine." You laughed. "She was a bitch. Hey, do you have any plans tonight?"

"Uh, no. I don't think so." She answered. "Why?"

"Hannibal wants to invite you all for dinner tonight." You said with an audible smile. "Y'know, to celebrate the bitch's death."

"Yo! Steph!" Pilar shouted across the room. "Wake Randy up! We're having dinner at [F/N]'s rich boyfriend's house!"

You could make out Stephanie's voice in the background. "It's about damn time. We've been waiting for her to redistribute the wealth."

"She means thank you for the invitation." Pilar corrected.

"It's not like I had to twist his arm or anything. It was his idea." You chuckled. "He loves having guests. And excuses to dress up."

"Oh so we're getting fancy, huh?" Pilar's voice turned up in excitement.

"Hey [F/N]!" Randy snatched the phone from Pilar. "Text me the menu for tonight. My girlfriend'll steal a nice bottle of wine to pair. She's a pro, she works over at Cavatappi's wine and spirits."

"Much obliged, Randy." You said. "I'll see you guys at seven."

You returned to the kitchen with a smile. "They're coming."

"Well, we don’t have a moment to lose, then." Hannibal placed something wrapped in butcher paper on the counter. "Come now. Let me show you how to properly prepare a heart.

You and Hannibal spent the rest of the morning and the whole afternoon preparing a bountiful meal. You reveled in the irony of finally finding a space for Theresa in your life. That space just so happened to be on the stove.

Seven came far too quickly, but your friends were always a welcome sight. You greeted them at the door with hugs, Hannibal watching with stoic adoration.

"Guys, this is Hannibal Lecter, my partner." You introduced. "Hannibal, this is Pilar, Stephanie and Miranda."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, ladies." Hannibal greeted. “Please, make yourselves comfortable.”

"Here you go, Dr. Lecter." Randy handed him a bottle of wine. "Thank you for inviting us."

Hannibal examined the bottle. "Yes, this will pair quite nicely with our meal. Thank you very much. [F/N], could you show our guests to the dining room?"

You nodded and accepted the bottle, given the extra responsibility of pouring. You led your friends to the dining room and wasted no time distributing the alcohol.

"A toast." Stephanie rose her glass. "Too many of history's worst have had the privilege of dying on their own terms. Today, we celebrate the death of one who didn't: Theresa [L/N]."

"She will join her sisters Nancy Reagan and Madame Nhu in hell tonight." You concurred, tapping your glasses together with a series of satisfying clinks.

"Okay, you need to spill." Randy scooted her chair up and leaned towards you. "How the hell did you get away with it?"

"Well, it helped a lot that her husband was already a felon." You teased. "If I didn't kill her, he was going to eventually."

Pilar made a face. "I can't believe it took actual murder to get that latter-day lump thrown in prison."

"Well, the LDS church is a very influential organization with a stronghold on all of Utah." You explained. "There's a long history of legitimizing sex abuse there."

"We know, cult girl." Stephanie laughed. "You remind us every time your pedophile cousin-in-law comes up. Relax and take your victories where you can get them.” 

“Ladies,” Hannibal entered. You rushed to his side to help him with the dinner plates. “Have we ever tried organ meat before?” 

Everyone’s eyes found Pilar. 

“Braised liver is delicious and you guys are just cowards.” Pilar protested. “I will die on this hill.” 

Hannibal smiled and presented your friends with their plates. “You are a woman of good tastes, Pilar. Our first course is Riñones al Jerez.” 

“Kidneys.” Randy translated. “Who’s kidneys are we eating today, Dr. Lecter?” 

He tilted his head. “Theresa’s, of course.” 

“I don’t care whose organs you harvested.” Stephanie said, her eyes rolling back into her head. “This is delicious.” 

You and Hannibal shared a glance and a smile. 

You and your roommates devoured the Riñones al Jerez, then dug into the next serving of heart stewed with chickpeas and olives. You finished off the evening with natillas de leche and a bottle of Sauternes Hannibal just happened to have lying around. 

“This is the first time since like, Keith Raniere got sentenced that I’ve seen [F/N] happy-drunk.” Stephanie observed.

“Or even just... happy." Pilar said, looking at Hannibal. "I'll have some of whatever she's having, please."

"My pleasure." Hannibal poured her another glass of wine.

Your phone began to buzz on the table, capturing the attention of your guests. You didn't even need to look at the caller ID to know who it was. Nobody else in the world had such horrid timing.

"Shit, you've got to answer it here!" Stephanie pleaded. "So we can all give her a piece of our mind!"

You looked over to Hannibal, who you knew was just as curious.

You dragged the answer icon across the screen and put it on speaker. You gestured for your friends to be quiet. "Yeah?"

"Well look who finally decided to pick up." Grandma said. "Thank you for gracing me with your attention. I know you have so much going on right now, you're just too busy to pick up the phone and talk to your grieving grandmother."

"For your information..." you stumbled over your words. "I was interrogated by the police yesterday. I think that counts as having something going on."

"Are you drunk?" Her voice was laced with a disproportionate level of disgust.

"I'm grieving too, Beatrice." You counter. "What, suddenly you're the only one who can drink the pain away? That's not very democratic of you."

"In your state, you shouldn't even be thinking of alcohol!" Grandma scolded. "You of all people should know the effects alcohol has on an unborn baby."

You smacked yourself on the head. Of course Theresa would plant a seed to fuck you over one last time. "Did Theresa actually tell you I was pregnant?"

"It was her last message to me, actually. Anyway, you're coming home." Grandma said, without so much as waiting for a response. "I won't have my great grandchild living in that dangerous city that your cousin was killed in."

You exchanged looks with your friends, who were going through the same combination of emotions as you were. Grandma's words just seemed to fade out as you shared an entire nonverbal conversation with the people around you.

"And you're leaving that terrible, terrible man."

Hannibal raised an eyebrow and looked at you, waiting to see how you'd respond. You knew what you had to do. It was finally time. You did something you should have done a long time ago.

"No." You said, your nerves loosened by the wine.

"What?"

"No. And I mean it." A big smile crossed your lips. "Theresa lied to you. I'm not pregnant. And you have to live with the fact that your granddaughter's last words to you were a blatant lie."

Hannibal looked at you with pride and your friends began to silently gas you up with encouraging gestures. "

"...And that you're the only one to blame for her deception." You continued. "You raised her in your own image."

"This is why I refuse to let you raise my great grandchild with that man!" She wailed. "He's twisted your mind against me! He's made you cruel!"

"Hannibal made me see clearly that you made me cruel." You said with absolute certainty. "You'll never see me again."

"Don't be like your mother, [F/N]." Grandma snarled. "Don't cut people out for trying to help."

"You'll never see me again." You repeated and decided to leave it at that. You ended the call and blocked the number, joined by an eruption of excitement from your friends.

It was finally over. Your life could truly begin.

[soliavenne]

A Holiday Episode for The Sand Family: What Would Be Their Perfect Holiday Drink?

Alright ya’ll, this had been a running late holiday episode I was supposed to post a few days ago, but I just got to finish finalizing the recipes and the drawings the other day haha. Either way, here it goes! 

Hope you enjoy! :)

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Temari starts off by finely chopping her pre-cooked, roasted and peeled chestnuts. She places the non-stick pan on medium low heat before pouring the chopped chestnuts in it, followed by the whole milk.

She then proceeds to chop the stick of vanilla bean into two pieces, takes 2/3 of it for the drink; with the remaining 1/3 of the stick to be set aside to flavor the whipped cream later. Temari splits the vanilla bean in half, lengthwise, and scrapes out the vanilla pulp inside and stirs it right into the simmering milk. The same step will be done later to the remaining vanilla bean. Temari prefers using vanilla bean instead of vanilla extract, as the vanilla extract contains unnecessary ingredients and tastes weaker compared to the vanilla bean itself.

Temari doesn’t like using ground cinnamon, as it doesn’t dissolve into the drink. To still have the cinnamon flavor, she throws in a small cinnamon stick into the milk.

Knowing from bad experience, Temari doesn’t leave the simmering milk unattended. She diligently scrapes the bottom of the pan every 1-2 minutes with a rubber spatula so it doesn’t form a film of milk solids that could burn if left neglected. She cracks up the heat a little to medium high to bring it to a boil. After so, Temari reduces the heat at the lowest setting to allow it to simmer, still stirring it occasionally for five minutes before taking it off the heat.

Temari likes using bittersweet chocolate instead of cocoa powder, as the butter content of chocolate allows for a richer taste. She chops the chocolate very finely to have it dissolve faster into the hot milk. Since bittersweet chocolate doesn’t taste as sweet, she adds two tablespoons of light brown sugar and stirs it to dissolve. After that, she takes out the cinnamon stick.

Temari prefers to blitz her hot chocolate in her high-speed blender as it allows her clean the counter and wash the utensils for the meantime as it blends. It leaves little to no trace of remaining chestnut pieces and usually results to a very smooth consistency.

After dividing the nutty, hot chocolate into her mugs and Shikamaru’s mug, she stirs in the Bourbon.

Temari prefers to whip her cold, heavy cream to a medium peak with a hand-held mixer alongside 2 tablespoons of confectioner’s sugar and the scraped vanilla bean from the left stick.

She tops off the drink with a healthy amount of sweetened, vanilla whipped cream, roughly chopped roasted walnuts (as expected), and a drizzle of her own chocolate sauce on to finish it off.

Bonus recipe:

Temari prefers homemade to store-bought if it doesn’t take much of her time to do it, one of the things she swaps for a homemade version is chocolate sauce, knowing it’s a one-pot no brainer recipe. So how does she do it?

Temari’s Homemade Chocolate Sauce

1) 1 ½ cups water

2) 1 ½ cups white sugar

3) 1 cup cocoa powder

4) 1 dash salt

5) 1 stick of vanilla bean.

Pour in the water, sugar, cocoa powder and salt into the pan and heat it over low heat. Stir the mixture constantly until it thickens up and comes to a simmer. Take it off the heat and then stir in the scraped vanilla bean. You can serve it warm, or make it in advance and store in a container into the fridge until ready to be served.

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Kankuro gets cold easily, and he likes to be experimental at times with the food he eats. Hot chocolate with Tequila and a little kick of cayenne? Yep, you got him intrigued. He would certainly give it a shot.

Kankuro usually goes for whole milk, but he decides to go for full cream milk this time to balance off the taste of alcohol and spice perfectly. He does find it resulting to a thicker, decadent hot chocolate, which is something he’s not shy to indulge himself upon.

He prefers to use both parts of milk chocolate and semisweet chocolate. There are times where he opts to not add sugar at all due to the sugars present in his chosen types of chocolate, but if he’s feeling a little kick of a sweet tooth, he would use light brown sugar.

He starts off by finely chopping his chocolates and placing them onto the bowl. Last year, he thought he could chop it at the same time as he allows the milk to boil, but he ended up losing his concentration as he found joy in the sound of chocolate being chopped by his freshly-sharpened knife. The milk boiled over, and the panic had him throwing the chocolate into the scalded milk; with the weight of the chopping board tipping over the pot and resulting to a hot chocolate-less night. Never again. He knew better now. He learns the best after his own mistakes.

To make his favorite hot chocolate, pour in the milk, sugar, salt, ground cinnamon and cayenne pepper into the pot and heat it over medium low. As he only makes this once a year, specifically for the holiday as a sort of little tradition for himself as he dons his holiday sweater, Kankuro is extra mindful to scrape the bottom of the pot until it reaches a gentle boil. He reduces the heat to the lowest setting before pouring in his finely chopped chocolate from his fancy little glass bowl. After stirring it to dissolve, he removes it off the heat and then uses a ladle for extra precaution to transfer it to the mugs.

Stirs in the tequila into the hot chocolate.

Kankuro likes to top it off with a thin layer of store-bought whipped cream. He then sprinkles a small amount of roughly chopped milk chocolate to sweeten the cream, and pinch of cayenne for an interesting contrast.

Note: I forgot to add 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon powder into the recipe image, but the recipe does call for it! I’m sorry for the error!

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Gaara is not very keen on overly-indulgent, sweet drinks. Already thinking that chocolate is very rich itself, Gaara chooses to use low-fat milk. The lessened percentage of fat from his preferred type of milk is complemented by the butter content that the semisweet chocolate offers. The unsweetened cocoa powder packs in a deep, flavor of strong cocoa minus the fat content. This combination results to a less thicker form of hot chocolate, which Gaara prefers the most. To balance off the bitterness and the acidity, he adds a teaspoon of light brown sugar.

Same old step, Gaara combines the simple, yet the highest of quality products in his non-stick pan. Highest of quality meaning having it exposed less to commercialized practices, as Gaara opts to buy his commodities from Suna’s own, proud farmers as a form of his utmost support. Suna had propositioned to buy additional farmlands from Konohagakure, and their own agriculture business is now thriving for the better.

There are times where he visits the farmers himself, and they are more than happy to welcome their beloved Kazekage with an enormous feast of the freshest of their harvest. Gaara vowed to bring Shinki, Araya, and Yodo next time to introduce this practice he upholds in hopes of passing on the economical and moral importance of supporting their own people and own products to the next generation.

Since it is the holidays after all, he lets himself slide off a just a bit by topping his drink off with his own recipe of espresso whipped cream. It’s fairly simple, he whips the cold heavy whipping cream alongisde a small amount of vanilla bean and a teaspoon of instant espresso powder. It may come off as a surprise that he adds another shot of sugar into this as he wasn’t a person with a sweet tooth at all, but he does find that the molasses flavor of the brown sugar balances the concentrated caffeine flavor of the espresso perfectly.

He then proceeds to counter the sweetness from the brown sugar with a healthy sprinkle of sea salt on top, which Chojuro gave as a gift from the previous Five Kage meeting in hopes advertising it as an international product considering they were the ones who discovered it due to Kirikagure’s being surrounded by large bodies of seawater. It was still a new business, the Mizukage said with a chuckle, but the Kages, including Gaara himself, were intrigued and happy to try it.

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Shikamaru loves coffee. It was what kept him going from the long, dragged afternoons spent in the office doing paperwork ever since he started working for the Sixth Hokage up to the Seventh Hokage. The holidays doesn’t faze him to try something entirely new, it’s got to have a punch of caffeine in it, no ifs, no buts. Alcohol and chocolate? Sounds great to indulge himself in once in a while, but the taste of coffee needs to roll familiarity in his tongue for him to enjoy it fully; so an alcohol-spiked mocha is the perfect stroke to tickle his spots.

It’s nothing too fancy, set up a kettle to boil water for the coffee later as he heats up the milk for the hot chocolate to a gentle boil on a very low heat so it’s less of a risk to burn in case he forgets to stir it now and then. Once it does, he tosses in the semisweet chocolate chips, as the whole chopping business thing was something he didn’t want to trouble himself with. Once fully melted and combined, he takes it off the heat.

Shikamaru then proceeds to dissolve the instant coffee powder and the light brown in the boiling hot cup of water.

The ratio he goes for is to fill the first 1/3 of the cup with hot chocolate, then other third of it with the fresh cup of hot coffee. He then stirs in the amaretto, and a tops it off with a thin layer of store-bought whipped cream or Temari’s leftover whipped cream if he runs out of the previous choice. A little dusting of sweetened cocoa powder for the taste and the aesthetic.

Enjoys his second round of Amaretto-spiked Mocha the best when Shikadai is already asleep upstairs, leaving him and Temari alone to accompany each other as they sit together in the couch, cuddled and laughing under the warm blanket as they savor the cold holiday night in Konohagakure together.

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Shikadai would rather have a freezing milkshake than a hot chocolate because he doesn’t like waiting for the hot beverage to cool down as his mother and father had already gulped half of what they’re having.

Cookies and Cream milkshake was one of the specials that they only offered for the special milkshake month in Thunder Burger Restaurant during September. Since there was no way he could order it by the time the holidays arrive, he asked for Chocho and Inojin’s help to devise his own favorite milkshake recipe. Soon enough, he was able to perfect it; as approved by his own teammates, and Temari’s own highest standards.

Shikadai’s prefers to use skim milk, as he had discovered that the presence of egg yolks in his favorite french vanilla ice cream is what makes it creamier and richer than the usual vanilla ice cream. The lack of fat content in skim milk would balance off the french vanilla ice cream’s richness to prevent it from tasting too indulgent.

Shikadai allows the ice cream to soften up a bit to room temperature where it’s just a little melty. After that, he combines the ice cream, cold skim milk, half amount of the scraped vanilla bean, powdered sugar and chopped, seven pieces of oreo cookies into a high speed blender. He turns it off once he sees it is fully-blended.

He likes to drizzle the homemade chocolate sauce that his mother makes onto the milkshake glass, both for taste and aesthetic as a genetic nod to Shikamaru’s mentioned choice with the dusting  of cocoa powder. One of his favorite parts in drinking this milkshake is whenever he uses his straw to scoop up the chocolate sauce that dribbled down onto the bottom of the glass.

Prefers to buy store-bought whipped cream to ease his job and just add the remaining half of the scraped vanilla bean to flavor it. He then proceeds to roughly crush 2 oreo cookies and mix it in with the vanilla-flavored whipped cream. After topping his milkshake with it, he likes to garnish it on top with a whole piece of oreo cookie.

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Shinki’s disciplined behavior renders him uneasy in consuming so many indulgent foods in one night, considering every holiday within the Kazekage’s household had always been a feast. Braised stew and gizzard? Fine, everyone has their weakness, and he might find himself slipping up a little, but with his chosen drink, he would like to tone it down a bit.

Shinki’s health consciousness encourages him to try different healthier alternatives of the popular foods they consume on a daily basis. His latest endeavor was focused on the swelling trend of plant-based milks in the market. He studied the differences between a plant-based milk and regular milk, and he found notable information that he once shared with Gaara over dinner. Gaara smiled at Shinki’s interesting thought, and was now intrigued as well to try it, urging Shinki furthermore to give it a shot.

He went home once, paperbags filled with different cartons of different types of milk. He poured each one of it into small glasses for a taste test. Apart from the difference in the tastes, he also discovered that there were certain milks he thought would pair the best with a specific function. He liked oat milk the best if they are paired with cereal, and the notable creaminess and less nuttier taste of cashew milk paired well with coffee.

Coconut milk was better off for dishes where you naturally expect it to have a “coconutty” taste, since it was distinctly overpowering. Soy milk on the other hand… was an acquired taste for Shinki.

Now that he has the background information as to how it is supposed to taste like, he knew that he would increase its chances of being entirely healthy by making it himself. He wasn’t sure about it at first though, as he would opt to buy it if the recipe calls for professional skills and labor, but once he discovered how easy it was to make by the time he read the recipes Gaara printed for him, he was undeniably excited despite how stoic he looks like on the outside. If you look in close enough, you would see a curt, small smile on his lips.

Out of all the attempts of making almond, oat and cashew milk at home, Shinki found himself favoring cashew milk than the other two. Almond milk required straining it with a nut bag, and tasted prevalently nuttier, oat milk on the other hand ended rather a little slimy. Cashew milk was the easiest, as he didn’t need to do the extra job of straining it, and it resulted to a perfectly creamy milk with with a subtle, nutty note that goes well with his usual go-to drinks, such as coffee and tea. It was his perfect choice.

He might not make it as often as he wants to, but on the holidays, he makes it a day in advance prior to making his reverse whipped coffee.

Shinki pours in the overnight-soaked, softened raw cashews into the high-speed blender, alongside water, Gaara’s favorite sea salt, and the vanilla bean. Shinki likes to use preserved, pitted dates as a sweetener as it also offers another depth of flavor into the milk. He then starts it off by blending in low speed, and then cracking it up to a higher setting until it is fully smooth.

Shinki has his own labeled jar for his homemade cashew milk. To give it another depth of flavor, Shinki likes to throw in two small pieces of cinnamon sticks into the empty jar prior to filling it in with the cashew milk, allowing it to steep the spice’s flavor slowly as it stores in the fridge.

The next night, Shinki starts off by putting in the instant coffee powder, sugar, and hot water into a medium sized bowl. Shinki used to do it on the coffee mug itself, but the found out that it took  longer to thicken up due to the lack of air circulation within the small area of the mug. He scrapes the bowl clean using a rubber spatula as he transfers the whipped coffee into his mug.

He then proceeds to heat up his cashew-milk to a gentle boil alongside one piece of cinnamon stick. Shinki leaves the other to steep in further into the left cashew milk. Shinki uses a fine mesh sieve to strain some small pieces of cinnamon from the stick as he would prefer the coffee to be thoroughly smooth.

The aeriated, whipped coffee adds a natural foam on top of the coffee. Shinki doesn’t like to add further garnishes.

Likes to keep it bitter and less sweet because he’s secretly eyeing the dark chocolate cake Gaara only buys during the holidays for later consumption.

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Bonus recipes to try from Araya and Yodo!

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A happy, happy holidays to all of you lovely people! :)

[popculturebuffet]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990 Review: Still Possesses Turtle Power After All These Years

Cowabunga all you happy people! I freaking love the Teenage Ninja Turtles. I grew up with it from Turtles in Time, which was my first video game, to the 2003 cartoon, which I covered the first three episodes of last month, and on to present day as I re-read the idw comics after finally reading the original eastman and laird run of mirage, and impatiently waiting for Shredder’s Revenge to come out after a LONG drout of no good TMNT games. I”m a fan of these heroes four, their dynamic as a family, the endless possiblities that come from it’s long history and ablitlity to go anywhere in any genre, and the wonderful goofy shit that happens when you have a franchise about mutant turtles learning ninjitsu from a rat and fighting a dude covered in knife covered samurai armor. 

So with me finally covering the guys after almost a year last month and with a new movie set to debut at some point this year, I had the bright idea to revisit the FIRST TMNT movie after way too many years of not watching it. This movie is anear and dear to my heart: When I first started getting into the boys big as a kid with the 2003 cartoon, I badly wanted more turtles. But back then it wasn’t nearly as easy to glom onto some more of the sewer shock pizza kings: Streaming sites with all the cartoons on them weren’t all that accesable, dvd’s were expensive for the 87 cartoon, Mirage wasn’t reprinting the comics in any meaningful way and my local comic shop didn’t have any at all and I could only play the SNES when my brother had it set up on occasion like at our Grandma’s farm. 

As you probably guessed though there was one exception: the original 1990 movie, which I got at Walmart for 5 bucks and haven’t let go of since. It was one of my first dvds and is still one of my most precious. Said film hit the spot just right as like my beloved 2003 series, it was a mildly goofy but still fucking cool adaptation that stuck closer to the mirage comics, even more than the 2003 series would, while taking a few queues from the 87 series. This film is as precious to me as the 2003 series and a with a brand new movie coming up, I figured it was the exact right time to dig into this classic: what makes it still good to this day, what’s fun to point and laugh at, and how the heck Jim Henson got involved in this. So join me under the cut as I take a look at my boys first theatrical outing and why I still love watching a turtle. 

No One Wanted To Make This: Before we get into the film itself some background. As usual I struggled a bit, but thankfully found some help in the form of this Hollywood Reporter article.  It’s a fascinating read worth your time, providing an oral history of the film from the people who worked on it. 

The film was the baby of Gary Propper, a surfer dude and road manager for the prop comic Gallagher, aka that guy who used to smash watermelons but now has instead opted to smash what little’s left of his career by being a homophobic douchenozzle. He found an ally in Showtime producer Kim Dawson who’d produced Gallagher’s special. I don’t think there will be more of an 80′s sentence than “Gallagher’s surfer dude agent wanted to make a teenage mutant ninja turtles movie”. Propper was a huge fan of the comics, and with Dawson’s help convinced Laird and Eastman to let them option it to studios. 

It may come as a shock to you but the road agent for a homophobic watermelon man and a producer at a niche cable channel wanting to make a movie based on an underground comic book about masked turtles at a time when the two most recent comic book movies were Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Howard the Duck, did not go well. Every door in Hollywood got slammed in their face, even Fox> Even the eventual backer of the film, Golden Harvest, a hong kong action film studio, took months to convince to actually back the film. 

Things did not get easier from there: The films writer Bobby Herbeck had trouble getting a story agreed on because Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s working relationship had deteroiated horribly from the stress so naturally the two could not agree on a damn thing and argued with each other. Peter Laird  made a tense siutation even worse by constnatly sniping at Herbeck and feeling he was a “Hollywood outsider infringing on his vision and characters”

Granted the script was apparently not great... but Pete still comes off as a pretnetious ass who views his weird indie comic as THE HIGHEST OF HIGH CALLINGS HOW DARE YOU SOIL IT. And continued to be kind of a prick like this throughout the rest of his time with the property. 

Thankfully the film found i’ts voice, vision and director in Steve Barron. Barron was a music video guy who knew the producers and while reluctant, eventually dove into the project rightfully thinking the film would need to be a mix of the mirage comics and 87 cartoon, keeping aprils’ reporter job, the turtles lvoe of pizza and their iconic color coding from the cartoon but adapting several stories from the comics as the backbone of the film. The guys liked barron MUCH better and things ran smoother. 

Barron also brought in one of the film’s biggest selling points and it’s most valuable asset: it’s triumphantly awesome Jim Henson costumes. Barron had worked with good old Jim on the music videos for Labyrinth, and while it took some convincing since the comics were violent as hell and that wasn’t Jim’s style, Barron eventually got him on board. This naturally doubled the budget, but given Henson’s costumes STILL hold up today and look better than the cgi used in the platinum dunes films... it was a good call. And this was brand new tech for jim, having to invent tons of new ideas and mechanisms just to make the things work, and said things still were absolute hell on the actors. Jim later ended up not liking the film for being too violent... which I find hilarious given how many muppets got eaten or blowed up real good on his show but regardless, I thank this legendary and wonderful man as without him this film WOULD NOT have worked. The costumes here look great, feel realistic, and you can’t tell the actors were dubbed much less horribly suffering in those suits. Much like Disney Land. 

The film would get picked up for distribution by New Line, and despite i’ts weird as hell origins and the long shot it had.. the film was a MASSIVE hit at the box office, owing to a combination of Batman 89 the previous year having proved comic book movies can work for audiences, the cartoon’s runaway sucess, and a massive marketing campaign. The film made it’s mark. So now we know how we got here let’s get into the film itself. 

What’s the Story Morning Glory?:

So the story for this one is largely cobbled together from some of the more notable arcs Eastman and Laird did before handing off the book to others full time as the stress of the company and the mounting tension with each other made it near impossible to work together on the book itself. 

To Save time i’m just going through what hte movie takes from the comics plot wise now to save me the trouble later:The movie takes elements from the first issue (The Turtles, Splinter and Shredder’s backstories, Shredder being fully human and the main antagonist, Shredder’s design and the final rooftop showdown that results in Shredder’s death), second and third, (April’s apartment over her dad’s old store and the turtles moving in when their home is ransacked and splinter has gone missing), the rapheal micro series (A tounge in cheek way of cashing in on the Mini-Series craze of the 80s, a one shot by modern standards and something that’s tragically been underused as an idea as only TMNT and MLP have used the idea at IDW, Raph meeting casey and their fight with one another), the return of shredder arc (One of the turtles being ambushed and mobbed by the foot and then thrown though a sky light (Leo in the comic and Raph here), the turtles being horribly outnumbered by them, Casey coming ot the rescue and metting the non-raph turtles for the first time, and them being forced to escape when the place goes up in flames), their exile to northampton (April writing in a journal, casey working on a car with one of the guys and one of hte guys looking over hteir injured brother), and finally, their triumphant return which was very loosely adapted as there are no deformed shredder clones and shredder not being dead yet in this version was not brought back by a colony of super science worms. 

So as for how this all comes together: Our story takes place in New York: A crimewave is high with muggings mysterious. There are a ton of phantom thefts going around and at most people have been seeing teens responsibile. And the police.. are at about this level of useful:

The only person doing something is April O’Neil, played by Judith Hoag. Hoag is easily the standout of the film, giving us a strong, confident woman with a wonderful sense of humor. She honestly might be my faviorite April O Neil, and given we’ve had some great ones with 2003, 2012 and Rise, that’s not something I say lightly. I honestly wish I’d recognized her in more stuff as she was both on Nashville and the mom in the Halloween Town films, and most recently was on the ScFy show the magicians. She’s a talented lady and i’m glad she’s still goin. 

April is a reporter for Channel 3 like the cartoon, though for some weird reason her boss from the cartoon is replaced by Charles Pennigton, played by Jay Patterson, whose currently dealing with his troubled son Danny, played by Micheal Turney. Pennington is horribly useless at both jobs: At work he tries to ease April off calling out Chief Sterns, who refuses to listen to April’s evidence gathered from japanese immigrants that the crimes resemble similar ones in japan in favor of trying to get charles to shut her up. Danny meanwhile is a member of the foot becase his dad thinks shouting out him and talking about him like he’s not there and generally being a dipstick will actually do anything to help him. 

I love the concept for the foot here. In addition to being a Ninja Violence Gang as always, they now recruit new members by finding kids without families or with troubled family lives and giving them a sense of family with the foot, and sweeting the bargin with a giant cave filled with arcade machines, a skate ramp and general late 80′s early 90′s kids goodies. Is it rediculous? Yes. Is it also clever as it gives Shredder an easy army of plausably deniable theives that he can pick the best out of to put in his elite that will be tirelessly loyal to him and him alone? Also yes. 

So April being public about this stuff gets her attacked, which naturally leads to our heroes coming in, first in the shadows and later directly when April wont’ give up on the case and Shredder sends some ninjas to go shut her up.. which he does weirdly as the guy jsut slaps her and tells her to cut it out like he’s on a domestically abusive episode of Full House. Raph saves her, and we get the turtles origin.. though weirdly they cut it in half. We get the ooze portion but Splinter’s past with Saki, Saki’s murder of his master and his master’s partern Tang Shen is left for later in the film and the fact Shredder’s saki is treated as a big twist despite the fact the biggest audience for the film would be kids... and kids would’ve been familiar with the cartoon where the giant brain monster routinely screeches out saki at the shredder. Maybe Barron just thought he was an alcoholic I don’t know. It just would’ve made more sense to have it all at once and let the audeince put it together. 

April becomes good friends with the turtles over a night of frozen pizza and camradrie, but the Splinters return home to find it ransacked, Splinter kidnapped by the foot, and are forced to Stay with april. Charles meanwhile tries to get April to backoff because he made a deal with the police to clear Danny’s record, without TELLING her any of this mind you, but I will save my rage on that little plot point for in a bit as Danny who he drug along sees the turtles and tells the Shredder. 

So we get the return of the shredder arc as Raph goes through a window, our heroes fight valiantly, and Raph’s friend Casey who he met earlier shows up, the two having bonded as all true friends do.. by beating the shit out of each other ending with raph shouting DAMNNNNNNN really big and dramatically into the sky for some reason. The Turtles and friends escape with an injured raph from April’s burning second hand store. She had a second hand store it was poorly established and only there because she had it in the comics. 

Our heroes retreat to a farm April’s grandma owned in Northampton, Massachutes, where Mirage was located at the time the original comics where they were exiled to the place were written and a location that has been a staple of the turtles ever since. The turtles slowly recover, lick their wounds, talk about who hooked up with who on gilligans island etc, before Leo connects with Splinter via meditation, who tells them to come back. Splinter also starts to connect with Danny and convinces him to swtich sides.. or at the very least squat in the boys old home. 

The boys return home, find danny, and prepare, Danny goes back and ends up giving away the Turtles are home.. but the turtles are ready and in an awesome sequence kick the fuck out of the foot squad sent for them with some well prepared steam vents. Casey goes to get splinter since Danny told them and with Danny’s help, finds him, since Danny found out they were gonna kill him. Casey beats up Tatsu, shredder’s right hand man, and they get him out. 

We get our final fight which is awesome up until the climax.. which is splinter casually tripping shredder with nunchucks and thier bloody history being kind of rushed and unsatsifying. Casey crushes shredder with a garbage truck, April gets her job back, more on that in a moment, she and casey hook up, and we end with the fucking awesome song T-U-R-T-L-E Power by partners in cryme. Seriously check it out it’s fucking triumphant. 

The song is just good.. cheesy? Sure but that’s half the fun. It’s the gold standard for movie theme songs for them and stacks up handily with the various animated series themes.. all of which slap. Okay... ALMOST all of which slap. Fast Forwards is aggressively medicore, which is doubly suprising to me since 4kids was REALLY damn good with theme songs. It was one of the three things they were best at along with finding VERY talented voice actors and setting japan based works in america because merica dammit.  

The plot is very solid: It skilfully packed half of eastman and laird’s run on TMNT into 90 mintues while adding things like April’s job at channel 9, the way the foot recurited kids etc. The plot flows well for hte most part and apart from one annoying subplot we’ll get to never has a moment that feel unecessary or dosen’t pay off later. And the stellar plot and fun pacing of it helps boilster the characters that do work... and help paper over the ones that are so thin the’yd fall down a grate...

Our Heroes, Villains and Annoying Middle Aged Guys:

Yeahhhh character is hit and miss here. Some are rather strong, others are the bare basics for the character their adapting and most are just to serve the plot but some work some don’t,  So let’s talk about it starting with our boys:

Raph is the most fleshed out of the turtles, being the main focus of the first 2/3 of the film, and having his anger be part of what SHOULD be a character arc, learning to temper it. And while granted MOST TMNT properties do this, to the point that Rise Raph is so loveable in part because his boisterous bruiser big bro attitude is a refreshing break from the usual grumpus we get. But at the time this hadn’t been done in every version but the 87 cartoon, so exploring it was valid.. but despite saying this should be a thing htey just forget about it and the most plot relevance he gets is going thorugh a window. He dosen’t really get a resolution.. his arc just kind of stops dead for the final half and it’s one of the film’s weaker points, one I only just now noticed on this rewatch. He’s still the most entertaining. 

Leo is the weakest of the turtles. He really lacks a personality here mostly just being leader and while his spirtual side is touched on, it’s  mostly a plot device. He’s just kinda the leader because he was in the comics to the point Partners in Cryme called Raph the leader. His role in getting taken out by the foot was taken by Raph, so he just has.. nothing to do for most of the film other than gripe at raph ocasionally and say orders. He’s probably the worst Leo i’ve seen outside of Next Mutation. I prefice that because after watching Phelous’ review it’s VERY clear those four are the worst versions of the characters, and no personality is still better than either having your team do nothing or yelling at them as your personality. I chalk this up to the Mirage Leo, and the mirage turtles to a poit being kind of bland. Not TERRIBLE characters, especially for the time, but not nearly as fleshed out or individualized as they woudl be in other adpatations, and with most traits LEo DID have, like his badassery flat out gone, he’s just.. nothing here. 

Mikey and Donnie are a double act here with both sharing a brain. Interestingly instead of his normal genius character, Donnie is Mikey’s best friend and the two simply trade jokes and schtick together. The two are interchangable.. but easily the best part of the film and a lot of the most memorable gags and lines, from Ninja Kick the Damn Rabbit! to “Do you like Penicllin on your pizza”, are from them. Thier there almost entirely as comic relief but it works, with both clealry being more modled ont he 87 cartoon turtles, a move that helps lighten the mood in darker moments. Their just genuinely charming and it’s intresting to see such a diffrent version of Donnie, and other incarnations, specifically the 2003 and Rise versions, would retain the sarcastic edge. 

Splinter is splinter. That’s about it, he’s peformed well and the puppet is amazing but he gets kidnapped a half an hour in and outside of influcencing Denny, more on that in a moment, and finishing Shredder he dosen’t do much but spout exposition. He’s not bad or anything, but he’s essentially a rodent shaped plot device. He was also puppeted by Kevin CLash, aka the guy who does Elmo. So there you go. 

April on the other hand.. is truly excellent. This might be my faviorite April. Judith’s april nicely blends the cartoon and mirage versions: She has the cartoons energy and job, but the comics sheer will and casual nature. Judith just oozes personality and her April is just a joy to watch, from her breezy chemistry filled interactions with the guys to her confrntation with Chief Sterns, knowing she’ll get thrown out by the asshole. She’s confident, and even when afraid dosen’t back down to her attackers and even helps out during the sewer ambush. I mean it’s a pot on the head but still it’s neat. She’s easily the best part of the flim and the most fleshed out of the cast. The worst I can say is they kinda shove her store from the comics, Second Time Around, in there for no other reason than it was in the comics: It dosen’t come up until it’s needed for the foot’s assault on her place. But overall.. she’s just fantastic to watch. 

Speaking of fantastic to watch, Elias Koteas is fantastic as Casey. Seriously he’s only second to the 2003 version in my eyes, getting the concept of a testorone filled average guy who decided to just go out and hit people with sports equipment after watching too much A-Team.. I mean that part of it’s not in this version but it’s implied, just right. Like judith, Elias is just really funny to watch and his big scenes, showing up just in time during the foot assault on april’s place and his fight with Tatsu are some of the best parts of the film, the former taken directly from the comics. This version isn’t without problems: His friendship with Raph, his most endearing aspect and one that has been carried throughout eveyr version Casey’s important, with the only exception so far being rise and we have a movie to fix that, is absent here. HE does save the guy, but they don’t really bond or anything. In fact he disappears for about half an hour after his big fight with Raph. But... again he’s just so damn entertaining, down to his JOSEEEEEEEEEEE Conseco bats (There was a two for one sale!).

Shredder is just a LITTLE better than splinter, if only because his actor projects a true aura of menace and I feel this version had some influence on the pants crappingly terrifying 2003 version. And the idea of the foot recurting teenagers like I said is a good one: He gives them home and a cause, they give him plausably deniable backup. And his fight with the boys in the climax is really awesome... the conclusion sucks but otherwise h’es okay. Not the deepest villian, but he has enough presence to be enjoyable.

His right hand man Tatsu, whose been adapted ocasionally since this and reimaigned as Natsu in the IDW comics, a female version, is also fine. He’s your standard grimacing goon but has enough presence to work. 

So that brings us to the penningtons. Charles, april’s boss at the station and his son Danny who’s joined the foot as he feels his dad dosen’t love him. Charles..is about as interesting and likeable as a dog turd and is the worst aspect of the film. No debate there, he just sucks. He sucks so hard he’s classified as a black hole.  The film wants you to see him as a put upon wokring dad whose frustrated with his son’s increased moodiness, skipping school and crminal undertakings and just wants to help him and loves him deep down. The problem is his actor’s delivery instead of concerned.. is just pissed. He just seems pissy and upset about the whole thing and comes off like he’s only mad about Danny doing this because he’s embarassing him and not because you know, it’s bad. When confronting Danny about stealing, he dosen’t consider MAYBE he’s part of a gang or needs help, but just wonders “Why are you stealing when I give you stuff”. Because, Dipshit, sometimes kids do crimes not because they need the stuff but because they WANT to, and because they want to act the fuck out. 

The most he does for the kid is agree to try and get April to back off the police when Cheif Sterns offers to let Danny go and not put him on record in exchange for it. The problem.. is this makes him even MORE unsympathetic. While I do get wanting to help your child, I do and it’s a sucky position... he again should be sympathetic.. but he handles the thing so badly it sucks. He just tells april to ease off, with no reason given, then fires her when she SHOCKINGLY dosen’t give up taking the guy whose refusing to take her hard work seriously or actually solve the crime wave problem to task for his shitty behavior as ANY person facing a shitty, corrput cop would. She just wants to hold him acountable and get him to actually do something. He clearly knows her on a personal level too as he talks about his issues with his son freely with her, something you don’t do with an employee unless their also a friend on some level. 

He could have TOLD april what was going on. She’d be furious at Stern’s naked corrpution and prioritizing shutting her up over actually solving crimes.. and thus put at least some of that energy into shutting him down or finding a way around it, going to the papers or something like that. Even in 1990 pre-internet, there were ways to get around Sterns blackmail and expose him so someone who’d actually do the job could get the job. Instead he just comes off as a selfish coward who rather than try and fight the guy blatantly abusing his power and using Charles own son as  barganing chip, goes along with it because it’s the easier option to simply bow to him instead of TRY and stop this. And it’s not like he’s even going after a beloved public figure or someone who could hide behind his rep: Sterns was blatantly failing a crime wave, April had called him out on his failrues and coverups multiple times. The public was against sterns.. finding out he tried to blackmail the media into shutting up about him would PROBABLY end him... I only say probably not because the public wouldn’t skewer him, but because police tend to escape consequences for blatantly murdering someone on a daily basis and Andrew Cumo is STILl mayor over in new york, the same city this movie takes place, 31 years later, depsite EVERYONE asking him to resign over a long history of sexual harassment and a more recent but still horrible history of hiding death numbers. I don’t doubt people being stupid enough to ignore this or the bilaws with cops being stacked enough for him to get away with it, but just because someone gets away with a crime dosen’t mean you shoudln’t try and go after them in the first place. Fuck. Charles. Pennington. 

Danny on the other hand is FAR more interesting and I think gets way too much flack when it comes to this subplot. Unlike his dad, whose dead weight, Danny is intresting: He provides a POV character for the foot’s MO in the film of taking in wayward teens, and his character arc is pretty engaging, slowly realizing the foot dosen’t care and that hte turtles are the good guys. HIs actor does a great job and while not the biggest presence, he’s not a bad addition to clan hamaoto and I wish other adaptations would find a way to use him. The pull between doing the right thing and his found family is a good struggle. My only real issue with his plot is the moviies flawed aseop about family. It tries to contrast shredder and his using the kids blatnatly with Splinter and Charles really loving their sons. And it works with Splinter and the kids because despite being a tad strict, Splinter clearly loves his sons and works with them to help them. The problem is ENTIRELY with Charles and Danny. As I said Charles love comes off as transasctional: He either thinks he can buy it or just expects it because he shot a bunch of goop into Danny’s mom after two minutes of disapointment. It dosen’t work with them because neither option is good for Danny. His father is neglectful, chooses throwing his jounralistic integrity out the window over talking to his son or his best friend about another way, and abrasive. Danny is no saint, he does do crimes, but it’s clearly a result of a shitty upbringing and the shredder and co actually offeirng him the love he desperatly craves. Danny goes to the foot because his dad is bad at his job but the film never adresses that and just expects Danny to go back to his dad because the plot says so. Danny would HONESTLY be better off with Splinter. No really. Sure he’d have to live in the sewers.. but he did so for a few weeks in the course of the movie. He’s fine down there. Splitner actually cares about him and took an intrest to him and knows how to raise a child. Let him become the fifth turtle. An aseop about family is not a bad thing: Loaded subject that it can be given how many outright abusive families exist, i’m one of the lucky ones who dosen’t have that issue, family is an important thing and can be a source of comfort and support. But this film tells you you should love and respect someone who does not love, respect or value you because he spent a minute in your mom’s vagina and that’s not how family should work and is outright dangerous to kids in an abusive situation. Love the film otherwise but fuck this aseop skyhigh. 

Final thoughts:

Overall though.. the film is bodacious. It’s funny, well paced, has an awesome cast, and outside of a certain bald asswipe... it’s a really good superhero film. Is it the best i’ve seen? Nope. Not even close and character wise most of them are as thin as a wet paper bag covered in ranch dressing. But it’s still a fun as hell with awesome corepgraphy, a killer soundtrack, seriously the soundtrack is damn excellent and only didn’t get it’s own section because I didn’t have enough to say and some of the best effects work i’ve seen in a film in the turtle suits. If you haven’t seen it I urge you to check it out: it’s a breezy 90 minutes, it’s on hbo max and it’s a shell of a time. Will I do the next film? 

We’ll see how this one does like wise and such, but I will be doing the rise film whenever it comes out this year. So look for that and keep possesing turtle power my dudes. If you liked this review subscirbe for more, join my patreon to keep this blog a chugging, comission a review if you have more turtle stuff you want me to cover, and comment on this. What do you think of the movie, what are your thoughts on the review, what can I do better, what other turtle stuff would you like me to cover/ Let me know and i’ll see you at hte next rainbow. 

[newsiegirlscout]

Pow! Comfortember, Prompt “Reluctance to Sleep”, or, “We’ll pretend Scout is familiar with Volsunga.” 

Hugs and cocoa for @brushes-of-sage​, because I’m going to take the Harvard graduate of guesses and say they also need a bit of a push to rest well.

The hall was silent. 

Once confident the people of Corona were sedated, at least for the evening, Queen Rapunzel stretttched and bounded on light feet towards the servant’s entrance. What with the end of harvest season, quite a few disagreements had to be sorted out, but she’d done so to the best of her ability and satisfaction; sun, moon, and stars wouldn’t keep her from tackling her husband in a hug the second he walked in. 

So of course, the lingering scent of seawater and algae littering his grand uniform were hardly the obstacle. 

“Mwah!” she said with a giggle, throwing her arms around his shoulders and kissing him on the cheek; “Did you catch the ruffians and thugs?”

Eugene snorted, polishing one of his sandy medals on a sleeve that was slightly less drenched than the rest of him. “Not since five, no. This nut, on the other hand? Pulled a combination slash-and-grab, then a bait-and-switch, and then tried to weight and sink their haul to an offshore cave right before the tide came in.”

Rapunzel whistled. “Wow! Where are they now?”

“In the treehouse with his daughters, if he knows what’s good for him.” he grumbled. 

The brunette laughed, like a tinkling of silver bells. 

Eugene paused to check his reflection in the nearest reflective surface, a suit of armor, and wince. “Where’s the kid? Still alchemizing?” 

She whistled, long and slowly. “Maybe? I told him he was off hours ago, though.”

The captain cocked an eyebrow. “Did you actually see him leave his lab?”

Rapunzel paused for no more than a moment before shaking her head, but moved to stand in front of the hall. 

“Not so fast, Captain.” she said, smiling, “You’re going to try to persuade him to go to sleep, and then he’ll say ‘Not now, Eugene, I’ve just managed to synthesize cobalt-bound thiolates!’ and you’ll say ‘Goggles, I speak three languages and I understand none of what you just said.’” 

Eugene laughed. “Aw, Blondie, the hand flip is definitely more his thing.”

“You just did it.” she said with a wink. 

“Sun, moon, and stars--”

“And thennn”, she sing-songed, fluttering her hands in an imitation of her royal engineer “He’ll say, ‘It’s important because of alchemy!’ and you’ll insist on seeing the testing trial yourself, excusing it to say you’re watching to make sure he has a second-hand witness account but really because you want to see it happen and use the alchemy words you’ve been reading up on, and both of you will end up playing mad scientist all night. Not on my watch!” 

Eugene chuckled. “Alright, then, what does her majesty decree?” 

“Reconnaissance.” 

*************************************************************************************************************

Varian yawned, inadvertently tipping over a beaker of liquid sodium silicate--which might not have been such a problem, perhaps, if not for the powdered cobalt. 

But now there was a fire, which was a bit of a problem.

On a reflex, he slapped the cuff of his flaming sleeve and grabbed the nearest bucket of sand to toss over the counter; only after the last of the chemical fire had been smothered did he allow himself a tired, wordless sigh, sliding down to the floor of his lab. 

Eugene, perched atop a cluttered workbench, sipped his drink with a bemused grin. “Tough night?” 

“Gah! Eugene!!” he said, flustered as he turned around and snapped to a salute, “Gahhh! If you want to know, you could just as--is that hot chocolate?”

“Sure is.” he responded with a wink, shooting him finger-guns, “Nothing like Rapunzel’s cocoa on a cold night like this, though I suppose you have just demonstrated an, ah, effective alternative for staying warm. What are you working on, anyway?” 

“Nanowire synthesis with cobalt-bound insulation. It’s important because….alchemy.” 

“Any progress?” 

“Not yet.” Varian responded, trying and failing to hide his longing glance at Eugene’s cocoa. “Is...is Rapunzel still out there?” 

Eugene nodded, taking another sip of his drink and inadvertently dotting his nose with whipped cream. “Yep, though if you don’t claim it now, I might just drink the whole pot myself.”

The engineer turned to face his sleeping raccoon, nudging him gently to wake him up. “Hey, bud, watch my lab for me for a second?” 

Ruddiger shook his head, giving the most exaggerated yawn possible. Varian stopped short of stretching, instead holding his hand out. 

“I’ll get you a marshmallow…” 

The raccoon batted one of his paws upwards.

“Alright, fine, two marshmallows. Deal?” 

Ruddiger shook Varian’s index finger and thumb, but as soon as the teenager left, he turned to Eugene, who withdrew three marshmallows from his coat pocket. 

“Three to lock the door after him.”

The racoon chirped, grabbing at the sweets greedily. 

“Ah-ah-ah, just one up front.” Eugene said, passing the marshmallow, “The rest”--he displayed the other two between the fingers of his other hand--”after completion.”

*********************************************************************************************************

“Oh, I forbade you, maidens-a, that wear gowd in your hair…” Rapunzel sang softly, wafting the scent of the hot chocolate as she walked. 

“Rapunzel?” Varian called from the kitchens. 

She sang the next line quieter, walking lighter and listening for his footsteps to make sure he was following her. Once he was within, by her earshot, twenty paces, she slowed and turned around. 

“Oh! Varian!” she giggled, pretending she hadn’t noticed him coming and passing him the mug, “I didn’t see you there...Eugene was going to drink all this hot chocolate, but I saved this one for you. I’m surprised you aren’t in the library!” 

He cocked his head, confused. 

“We just got a new trade from Koto!” she exclaimed, “Xavier says it’s pretty similar to Beowulf; it’s called Volsa--Volsahn--bleh!” the princess stuck out her tongue and giggled, “I can’t pronounce it very well, but I was just on my way to read it! Care to join me?” 

At the mention of Beowulf, Varian perked up, but though he seemed hesitant, he pulled away. “Sorry, princess. Thanks for the cocoa, but an engineer’s work is never done!” 

“Please?” she hummed, pulling his wrist gently, “Stay for the first chapter, at least.” 

Ruddiger twisted around his legs, hopping up on his shoulder and using one of Rapunzel’s hairpins to mimic swordplay. 

“Ruddiger!” Varian scolded lightly, “I thought I told you to watch the lab!” 

“He made a deal with yours truly.” Eugene said, coming up behind him and popping a marshmallow into his mouth, “Turns out the only lab hazard was me, thus science triumphs once again.” 

“Alright.” the teenager sighed, “Just the first chapter.” 

Ruttiger chirped happily, curling around Varian’s shoulders. When he wasn’t looking, the racoon chittered at Eugene, holding out his paw. 

Eugene passed over the other two marshmallows and shook his head. “The most honest deal I ever made, and it’s with a racoon.” he muttered. 

************************************************************************************************************

The first thing Varian noticed were the blankets on the rug, and immediately Eugene tensed.

“Sooo, I thought we could set it up like a little sleepover…” Rapunzel chirped, looking hesitantly at the boys. Both of them motioned to step out, sensing a plot, but she looked so sweet and sincere that they found themselves drawn in. 

“It’s just a story.” Eugene thought softly, “You’re an adult, now, just...put the kid to sleep, and finish patrol.”

Varian cast a desperate glance towards the door, but Ruttiger was already curled up on the down, his chest rising and falling softly on Varian’s lap. Chuckling, he gave a thumbs-up to Rapunzel at the same time Eugene complimented her idea. 

“The tale begins here of a man named Sigi…” she read happily, in a light and gentle tone, “...and his quest from Hrimnir the Great to slay the dragon Fafnir.” 

Unwittingly, unwillingly, Eugene leaned forward just a tiny bit. 

Quietly, Varian found himself drawn in to the rhythm of Rapunzel’s voice and decided perhaps he could stay for chapter two. 

*************************************************************************************************************

“Then son and father-in-law parted, and Siggier returned home with his wife.” she finished softly, smiling. Eugene yawned, and stretched, preparing to stand once measuring the even breathing of Varian’s chest. 

“I’ll carry him.” he said quietly to his wife, “Glad to see something could pull him away from his work.” 

“I don’t think so.” she sang softly, throwing her arms around Eugene and tackling him to the ground, “I think I could say the same about someone else who works himself to death.”

He laughed, trying to push himself off the ground. “Sunshine, I’ll always make time for you, but there’s still work to be done--�� 

“And yet, it could wait long enough for you to watch your little brother.” she giggled, kissing his cheek, “Consider this an executive order, you make sure Varian stays right here, and I’ll watch after you.” 

Eugene smiled like the sun setting, relenting to the powers of his wife--it was an order from the queen, after all. 

Unwittingly, unwillingly, Eugene Fitzherbert fell asleep; 

Unwittingly, unwillingly, he was happy.

[vannminner]

-

Where Magic Flows (IV)

-

A03

FanFiction 

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Part One: Of the Flame

-

 As the sun set on Arendelle, the last light of day glistened upon the fjords. Waves rippled against the shore. The fishermen retreated from the docks, and the villagers returned to their homes.

At the same time, Elsa arrived in Arendelle. Avoiding a scene and lost time with her sister, she decided to sneak in. Nokk carried her up to the rocks surrounding the palace, and bowed to let her off.

Elsa pat his head. “I will see you again soon.” She promised. 

Nokk neighed and crooned against her hand. Then he faded back into the waves. 

She turned. Her eyes lifted to view the castle. Rays of light cascaded around the stone walls, creating a halo above their peaks. It was as if a beacon had formed to call Elsa home. She raked in a deep breath and grinned. Whether it was the thought of seeing her sister after weeks apart, or the warmth of the kingdom and its people; Arendelle would always be her home. 

Anna must have been waiting at the entry for her. Elsa had barely made it through the doors before she was tackled into a hug. Anna’s arms latched around hers. She held her still and buried her face into Elsa’s hair. 

“You are here!” Anna sighed. 

She went limp in Elsa’s hold. For more minutes than either felt passing, they simply clung to each other. 

“I have missed you.” Anna grinned, and pulled back to see her sister’s face.

Hands went to her hair, fluffing it, and laying each strand flat. “I missed you, too, so much.” Elsa took Anna’s fingers between hers. 

She was led towards the main hall. Their hands swung between them. 

“Gerda baked fresh bread and made a vegetable stew. Are you hungry?” 

“I could eat.” Elsa squeezed Anna closer. 

Her ear came to rest against Elsa’s shoulder, and she brought her arms around Elsa’s waist. “I am sorry about last week. Something came up. You know I wouldn’t reschedule if I didn’t have to.”

Smiling, Elsa drew her fingers down Anna’s back. “I understand. Besides, I am here now, and so happy to be with you.”

“You are!” Anna cheered. “You should visit twice next week to make up for it.”

Elsa giggled. “I like the way you think.”

Anna released her before opening the door to the dining hall. Inside, the warmth of a roaring fire soothed against Elsa’s skin. The tables had been set. It was a simple spread with sweet bread and dried meat. It was simple for Arendelle, anyway.

Meals in Northuldra were vastly different. They were usually enjoyed in passing. Only during dinner did most of the village convene together. Additionally, it was the women who hunted, harvested, and then prepared most of their foods. One person saw through their meals from beginning to end, and Elsa found that fascinating.  

“Ah! Miss Elsa!” Gerda approached from the kitchen. Her arms held wide in greeting, and Elsa accepted the hug. “You are looking well. Are you eating enough?”

“I am.” Elsa nodded as she was released. “Though, I cannot say I haven’t missed your home cooked meals.”

Gerda grinned. “That’s my good girl. Now, sit tight. You won’t have to waste another minute. I shall leave the two of you time to catch up.”

Gerda’s hand briefly squeezed against Anna’s shoulder before she departed. Both women waited until she had gone, and then sat before their meal. 

“So, how are you? How is Arendelle?” Elsa didn’t waste a minute. Her eyes were on Anna as she sipped at her tea. 

Something in Elsa’s tone struck Anna as odd. Her sister was rushed. Her thoughts were elsewhere, and her eyes traveled away with them. Even Elsa’s hand corded too tight around her mug. The knuckles bore white, and her smile shown a tad forced. 

“I am good. Arendelle is good.” Anna feigned. 

She did not have to be a good liar in this scenario; only a better liar than her sister. 

“That is good to hear, then.” Elsa teased, and smiled at Anna behind the brim of her cup. “And where is your husband?”

Anna fought the blush coursing across her cheeks. 

She and Kristoff had been married three months prior. However, Anna could not calm the butterflies that ran rampant in her chest every time she heard his new title. 

“Kristoff will join us shortly.” Anna cleared her throat, hoping not to give too much away. “He was taking care of a few things for me down in the village.”

Biting into a bit of bread, Elsa nodded. “How far our valliant reindeer king has come. Did you just say he was assisting you with royal duties?”

Anna waved her fork at Elsa. “Yes, but don’t tease him! He may stop helping me all together.”

Elsa laughed and shook her head. “No. He wouldn’t.”

“You’re right.” Anna agreed. "He wouldn't."

She felt warm knowing Elsa supported her marriage to Kristoff. Sure, Anna had given her sister more time to get used to the idea; this time around, anyway. Nonetheless, Elsa had blessed the ceremony, and even gave the first toast to the happy couple. 

Enjoying the togetherness, the two fell silent for a time. The piles of food between them shortened. And despite all her other concerns, Anna’s eyes continued drifting to Elsa’s. Elsa was keeping something from her. Anna could tell. Her sister was mowing through bread like she was using it to keep her mouth shut. 

“So…” Anna sang nonchalantly. “How is the forest? Are Honeymaren and the others doing well?”

Elsa didn’t immediately answer. She took her time to chew her food and swallow before lifting her eyes. 

Across from her, Elsa could see Anna’s impatience. Her sister saw right through her; clear through her mask. Anna’s eyes never wavered from hers. All of her attention fixed on Elsa, and Elsa wondered why she even bothered trying to hide things from Anna at all. 

“I cannot lie to you, Anna.” She released with a breath. “And it would be untruthful to tell you that everything is fine.”

Anna frowned. She leaned forward over her elbows. “What’s wrong?”

Elsa shrugged and looked away. “There was a disturbance amongst the earth giants.”

“A disturbance?” Anna widened her eyes. “What happened?”

Sitting back into her chair, Elsa replayed the events of the last week for her sister. She told her about the giants’ disappearance, and about the mysterious markings down by the river. Anxiously, she told Anna about Ahtohallan, and how she hadn’t been able to locate any answers yet. Elsa was finishing the wrap-up on her week when Kristoff finally strode into the hall. 

He greeted her with a quick wave, and then kissed Anna’s cheek. 

“Ladies,” Kristoff sat. “So, what have we been talking about here?" 

Anna looked wordlessly at Elsa, wondering if she should share. Elsa merely nodded, and her attention pulled back down to her soup. 

“Elsa has been experiencing some complications in the forest. The earth giants departed-”

“-but I am going to call them back.” Elsa quickly defended. 

“Of course,” Anna flashed her sister a grin. “I have faith in you, Elsa; we both do. There is no limit to what you can accomplish with your heart, and your powers combined.”

Shaking her head, Elsa cleared her blush as it formed. “See, this is why I miss Arendelle. My Anna-pep-talks always got me through another day.”

“Well, there are more where that came from. I plan to make up for lost time.”

The sister’s shared a smile, and Anna reached across the table to squeeze Elsa’s hand.

- 

The three finished their meals. Their chatter had turned casual, and Kristoff stretched back into his chair.

He fought a yawn. “Shall we, ladies? If we don’t get this game night started, I’m afraid I may fall asleep on this buffet.” 

“Don’t you dare.” Anna giggled. “We can’t have that! Why don’t you go prepare the fire in the lounge, and I will ask Gerda to start another pot of tea?” 

“I can do that!” Elsa stood from her chair. “Go on, I will meet you both in there.”

“You better get your game face ready!” Anna called, watching as Elsa disappeared into the kitchen. 

Kristoff squeezed a hand against Anna’s shoulder. She turned to him with a pale face. Anna was missing her usual light this evening. Sadness clouded her eyes, and the haze rolled in thicker once Elsa left the room.

“I am assuming you have not told her yet?”

Anna shook her head. “No. Elsa is dealing with so much right now. I don’t want to add to her list of things to be worried about.”

“Anna,” Kristoff sighed. “You have to tell her. This illness is dangerous. In the least, you have to warn her about it.” 

Looking away, Anna brought her hands into her lap. “I am the Queen of Arendelle now. This is my home, and my responsibility.”

Kristoff touched her chin. With a single finger, he lifted Anna’s eyes to meet his. “Both your sister and I are here to help you, Anna. Having a new title doesn’t change that. Not for you, and not for Elsa. Just as you want to help her, Elsa wants to be there for you as well.” 

Anna turned, flattening her cheek against Kristoff’s hand. She felt his fingers brush against the skin of her jaw, and Anna shivered. 

“I will talk to her.” She promised. 

“Good,” Kristoff nodded with a grin. He leaned forward and placed his lips lightly against his wife’s. “Now, shall we go to the lounge?”

He stood. His hand extended and he held it out for Anna to take.

Anna looked at the hand, but she didn’t move. “Could you give me a minute, please?” She squeezed his fingers before offering him a reassuring nod. “I’ll be there in just a second.”

“Of course, my lady.” Kristoff playfully bowed. “But know, I will start looking through those charades cards you made if you are not there in five minutes.” 

Anna rolled her eyes as she watched him go, and her soft laughter faded when the door shut behind him. 

Stretching back into her seat, Anna reeled in a deep breath. Very slowly, she came to her feet. Her legs bobbled a bit. Her knees quivered uneasily, and a fog of darkness rushed to her brain. Anna gripped the table for support. With her eyes closed, she allowed the darkness to take over. Her nails scratched into the wood as she fought for balance.

When Anna released a sigh, the dizzy spell faded. As quickly as it had come on, her trance had fallen away. 

She shook from the sensation and released the table. Anna nodded to herself. She grit her teeth, and strode from the dining hall with her chin held confidently high. 

 - 

Hands fought for the spoon at the center of a small tea table. Anna swatted Kristoff away, and clutched the silver to her chest. Excitement filled her body. Yet, before she could yell out her feat, the spoon was pulled from Anna’s grasp. Ice worked it way up the stem of the spoon and it sailed across the room into Elsa’s hand. 

“Hey! No magic!” Anna shouted. 

“I don’t believe we established those rules. Did we, Kristoff?” Elsa gleamed, dangling the spoon between her two fingers. 

“I am not getting involved.” He deadpanned, and Kristoff pushed himself away from the table. 

Anna grumbled. “I don’t think I like this game.”

“It’s okay, Anna.” Elsa patted her sister’s knee. “You know, very few people are good at family games; that’s just a fact.”

Anna pushed Elsa’s hand away as she giggled.

“Okay, okay, I asked for that one.” She surrendered. “So, what’s next? Charades? I could go for another round! Oh! Or Kristoff, didn’t you pick up that game from Oaken’s with those dangerous looking dart things?”

Both Elsa and Kristoff began to squirm. 

“Actually,” He sang. “It is getting pretty late. I thought I would hit the hay, and let you two ladies stay and chat… give you time to talk about that thing, perhaps…”

“Thing?” Elsa’s eyes widened. “There’s a thing? What thing?”

“It is nothing!” Anna defended. “It’s less than a thing; a small thing. What is that? A thinglet?”

“Well, that’s not exactly true.” Kristoff sighed, and squeezed his wife’s shoulder. “It is most definitely ‘thing’ sized.” 

Elsa stood up with her hands wringing at her waist. “I knew it! I knew something was up. I could feel it, but I was too distracted by my own thoughts to read between the lines. There was something you weren’t telling me! And there I was, ranting about my own things! I can be so dense sometimes-”

“Hey, woah, woah, hey!” Anna quickly rose, taking her sister’s arms between two hands. “This isn’t like you; this ranting. It’s okay! I just didn’t want you to worry.”

“Worry me?” Her voice lifted. Elsa tried to step back but Anna’s grip held firm. “This is a serious thing, then?”

Hands suddenly very heavy, Anna allowed them to fall away. She crossed the room on shuffled feet, and her fingers splayed along the window glass. 

She sighed against it. “I am afraid it is... pretty serious...”

“Tell me,” Elsa whispered, approaching Anna's side. 

Kristoff cleared his throat from his spot by the door. “I will, uh, give you two a minute. It was nice to see you, Elsa.”

She nodded to him. “You too, Kristoff.”

Once he had gone, Elsa withdrew their mother’s shall from hiding. She wrapped it around Anna’s shoulders and listened to her sigh. 

Anna crooned into the fabric. “Thank you.” She whispered, and her eyes returned. 

“It is your week. I would not forget.”

Elsa watched Anna’s nose bury deep into the silk. She breathed. Her eyes briefly closed. 

“Come,” Elsa instructed. “Let’s sit.” 

She led Anna back to the couch. Elsa sat first before pulling Anna under her arm. Their heads fell together. Their elbows linked beneath the shall, and Anna squeeze Elsa in a show of relief. 

“There is an illness spreading through Arendelle.” Anna finally divulged. “The village children are dying, and there is nothing the doctor nor I can do to stop it.”

“What?” Elsa’s reply came at but a breath. 

Anna turned to Elsa with her lips pulled to the side. “I am sorry, Elsa. I am failing you. You put your faith in me to protect Arendelle, but I have let you down.”

“Hey now,” Elsa soothed. She brushed Anna’s fallen hairs from her face. “You are not responsible for this.”

Anna turned her cheek. Her eyes fell to the floor. “Nothing like this happened when you were the queen.”

Elsa shook her head and pulled Anna in closer. “No, perhaps not. I did, however, cast an eternal winter over the kingdom, destroy thousands of crops, and damage the livestock.”

Anna frowned. “Why didn’t I know the rest of that?”

“Because you didn’t need to. I took care of it.” Elsa touched her sister’s nose. “All I am saying is- we are all given our own hands in life. We are all tested in different ways.”

Anna remained silent. Her head fell to Elsa’s chest, and she snuggled into the sound of its beating. 

“Illnesses happen.” Elsa continued. “They strike villages all over the world. They run their course and-”

Shaking her head against Elsa’s chest, Anna frowned. “This illness is different. It’s not spreading through the air. It has traveled through our food, or our water... Everyone is worried, and I don’t have any answers for them.”

Elsa hummed. The vibrations carried up and through Anna’s ear. 

“What do you need from me?” Elsa asked. “Do you need me to address Arendelle? Should I go to Ahtohallan and try and find you answers?”

Her head rose quickly. Anna’s tired eyes found Elsa’s blues. “You would do that for me?”

“Of course.” Elsa smiled. “We do this together, remember?”

The barest hint of a blush tinted Anna’s cheeks. “I have missed you.” She sighed, and pulled back into her sister’s arms. 

 -

 Elsa’s ride back to Northuldra was unusually warm. The day’s humidity lingered, causing the air to stick to her skin. Nokk could feel it, too. His footsteps weighed heavy against the earth, yet he galloped along peacefully without complaint.  

The two found their solace in the clear night sky.

“I could get used to this.” Elsa whispered to him. 

She relaxed back on her hands, and her eyes held high toward the stars. 

“It is peaceful.” She smiled. 

The calm of the evening was a welcomed change of pace; when compared to all that had transpired back in Arendelle. As it appeared, both Elsa and her sister were facing problems. The only difference was, Anna's problems had carried along a tome of death notices with it. 

Elsa's eyes watered at the thought. 

When she agreed to stay in Northuldra, Elsa believed she had made the right decision. She knew she had a responsibility to the people and the spirits, but she had a commitment to honor with her sister, as well. Now, she was conflicted. Her heart was being ripped in half. She had a family in Arendelle, but there was family in Northuldra now, too. 

"What to do?" She groaned. 

The night sky twinkled in reply, and Yelena’s words began to echo through her mind. Elsa's heart expanded in her chest.

“I am one with the wind and sky.” She felt herself calm. 

The spirits were guiding her, just as Elsa was guiding herself. Together with this new power, she could serve Arendelle, and still solve the secrets of the forest. 

Elsa breathed and allowed herself to be captivated by the stars once more.

With her eyes transfixed above, Elsa did not realize when Nokk suddenly slowed. His head was turning erratically to each side when Elsa pulled herself up.

He sensed something. 

“What is it?” She reached for his neck. “What is wrong?”

Nokk brayed, deep and loud. He pulled his weight back onto his rear legs. His front hooves kicked toward the sky, and Elsa fought to catch herself against the reins. 

That was when Gale appeared. 

Gale poured through the trees with a tempest force. She snaked around the earth before making her way to Elsa. Swirling and spiralling, Gale moved up the Nokk’s legs. She braided into Elsa’s hair and stole her attention.

The Nokk whined fearfully, and he kicked at Gale with his hoof. Elsa reached down to soothe him as Gale quickly darted away. 

Elsa's hands replaced around the reins, and her knuckles pinched white.

“Go!” Elsa called to Nokk. “Follow the storm!”

Nokk quickly shook from his fear. He leapt into the air and advanced on Gale at a full-sprint. 

Gale lead them through the forest, dodging between the trees. She made tailing her at night a challenge for Elsa. However, she had Nokk, and they both had their instincts. 

Unfortunately, those instincts told Elsa where they were headed.

Something was wrong in Northuldra, and Elsa could only hope to arrive as fast as she could manage.

 - 

 -M.

[per-ineptia-ad-astra]

starhearth: episode two

First Month of Spring, Days 5-7

With a new morning dawning it’s time to really start getting this colony underway. Our motley little crew are still flush with the spirit of pioneering (very Star Trek of them) and have supplies to last a while, but they won’t be satisfied with sleeping on the ground and eating plates of berries around a campfire forever. They’ll be needing beds, and a roof over their heads, and more food, preferably before all those plates of berries run out.

[ID: A screenshot showing a small patch of trees by a lake with a square boundary marked, within which are a few cages.]

First off, Uhura is assigned a little patch of territory near the stockpile to do her trapping in. This will at least supply us with a considerable amount of dried jerky, which will keep the crew from starving if all else fails.  Then it’s time to consider our first building.

Stonehearth comes with a few pre-made building templates, but by and large you’re expected to design your own; once designed and placed in the world, your hearthlings will construct them from your stockpiled materials. I’m not exactly what you might call good at designing buildings, but fortunately hearthlings aren’t too picky about architecture and even I can manage to stick a few walls and a roof together. This first building is basically just one big room with a couple of smaller rooms attached, which is meant to eventually serve as a kind of tavern/dining hall, but more immediately will give everyone a place to sleep and eat inside until we can build some individual houses.

The finished schematic (such as it is) calls for a bit more wood than we currently have, but there are some trees in the way of where I want to put it anyway so that works out alright. A few people are sent to cut down those trees; in the meantime, Kirk studiously patrols around the camp, while McCoy crafts himself a Herbalist’s Workbench, which he’ll need to craft other things.

Once the trees are down, the building is placed in a spot close to the lake, next to a young chestnut tree. The chestnut tree isn’t strictly necessary. It just seemed nice.

Time to start building! It’s going to take rather a while, though, because Trappers, Herbalists and Footmen can’t build, so it’s just Scotty and Sulu working on it for now. And with Scotty initially busy making the doors and windows, it’s left to Sulu alone to begin laying the flooring. Unfortunately, he’s chosen to do this while drunk.

[ID: A screenshot showing a close-up on Sulu’s character bar, with a small icon on the side showing a mug of beer, with an accompanying description window which reads: “Light-headed: Having a merry time! Maybe a bit too much...Oh, well. Courage is increased. Diligence, Willpower, Speed and Stamina are slightly decreased. Crafting takes longer and has less chances of producing high quality items. This hearthling is less menacing to enemies. This hearthling will want to engage in conversations and sleep a lot more than usual.”]

Kids! Don’t try this at home. Combining carpentry and alcohol rarely ends well.

Then he falls asleep on the spot. Oh well, that might be for the best. At least now he won’t wind up nailing his own hand to the floor.

[ID: A screenshot showing Sulu, laying fast asleep on a partly finished floor with a couple of Z’s coming from him.]

Having finished his workbench, McCoy goes to gather some herbs and edible mushrooms, starting a makeshift garden next to the stockpile. Meanwhile, Scotty has finished building all the furniture for the tavern, which has raised him up to Level 2. With that done he can start helping Sulu build the actual structure.

The next day brings us a couple pieces of welcome news. The first is that a passing explorer has happened by and they’ve got an offer for us.

[ID: A screenshot of a message box titled ‘An Explorer Approaches Your Town.’ Below that, the text reads, “Hello Enterprise! I am an explorer from far to the east who deals in various amounts of trade and collection. Recently I found 2 Autonomous Cricket Golem just sitting next to the road. I’m not sure who left them there, but they’re quite helpful at cleaning up! I don’t have much use for them myself, but a nearby village said they are in need of 5 Wooden Window Frame. I will be relaxing nearby for 5 days...would you be interested in a trade at that time?”]

This is a stroke of luck, especially so early on. Cricket golems will haul items, meaning hearthlings have to spend less time doing it, which is especially helpful given that hearthlings kind of suck at cleaning up after themselves and tend to drop things all over the place. Also, they’re super cute. We definitely want these, and Scotty can easily crank out those window frames in time, so the offer is quickly accepted.

The other good news is our Daily Update. The Daily Update checks your town’s total net worth and your total amount of provisions, and if both are high enough, a new villager will come to stay. And today, we’ve got enough!

[ID: A screenshot showing a message box titled ‘Daily Update.’ The box reads “Immigration Report: Day 7 of Bittermun, 1000. Enterprise population: 5. Next hearthling requirements...” Below this are two icons, both with a green checkmark on them, one a basket containing a pumpkin and one a chest containing some gold. The icon is labeled ‘Food 117/50’ and the second is labeled ‘Net Worth 545/275’. Below that the text reads, “A new settler would like to join your town!”]

New villagers will have randomly generated names, appearances, stats and traits, and while you can freely change their names at any time, the only way to get new stats and traits is to save immediately beforehand and then reload until you get one you want. Which I...may have done. A few times.

In the end (I’m gonna decline to comment on exactly how long this took) we’ve got a newcomer with 4 mind, 6 body, and 3 spirit, with two traits: Animal Companion (this time, the animal is a fox) and Storm Chaser (which...I’m not actually sure what that one does, but my best guess is that it gives them a happiness boost in stormy weather).

By default in Stonehearth you’re not able to change the appearance of any hearthlings aside from your starting five. In the interests of having everyone look somewhat remotely recognizable as themselves, I employed a mod that lets you change the appearance of new villagers. The downside to this is that the town quickly wound up becoming remarkably homogeneous, but, well, that’s TOS for you.

At any rate, our new villager has the stats to be a good combat unit, and we’ll need an archer eventually, so I decided to make this one Chekov. Because...firing phasers is kind of like firing arrows...look, just go with me on this.

[ID: A screenshot showing a hearthling with brown hair and brown eyes standing next to a fox. Below him the description box reads “Pavel Chekov—Worker.”]

For the moment, however, we need more hands to build the tavern more than we need an archer, so Chekov won’t be taking up his job for a while yet. While he gets to work helping Scotty and Sulu, McCoy harvests some nearby berry bushes and makes some healing potions—more because he needs the experience than because we need healing potions, but hey, they might come in handy.

With the additional help the floor of the tavern is soon finished, and work begins on putting the walls up. But it’ll still be a while before it’s done and in the meantime, sleeping on the ground is making everyone grumpy, so Scotty’s made some extremely basic beds, which are put out near the fire. Before all the beds are even placed, Sulu and McCoy have passed out in a couple of them.

[ID: A screenshot near the campfire, showing two beds placed in a row, with the outlines of three beds still to be placed. McCoy and Sulu are each sleeping in a bed while Scotty sits nearby eating some berries.]

Apparently it’s been a tiring day.

[toranisauces-blog]

generic flavored k cups

market and main coffee

Coffee Is among the most well-known beverages in the world - it's also mega enterprise. Coffee plants have been cultivated in over 70 nations. It's an important export product for Latin America, Southeast Asia, and Africa.  Half the people in America beverages coffee on a daily basis. Starbucks, founded in 1971, has become the world's largest coffeehouse series with more than 20,000 shops in over 60 nations. In the previous five decades (2009-2013) alone, Starbucks' share price has increased over seven-fold.

market and main coffee

Given this widespread recognition, It's no surprise That lots of individuals have wondered whether drinking coffee is a unhealthy dependence. Caffeine, after all, is a stimulant medication and can be addictive.  For years, medical information from associations such as the American Heart Association has suggested that coffee can lead to elevated blood pressure and so is bad for the heart. You might even have been advised that java will provide you an ulcer. Nonetheless, in the past few decades, there's been an immense number of new study which has only pretty much exonerated java.

Is  The following outlines the most recent findings on java and the way that it can actually benefits your health. Further, even if you're a regular coffee drinker, then there are particular things about java you need to also be conscious of. Last, understand that coffee might not be suitable for everybody, for those who have specific circumstances, you shouldn't be drinking coffee in any way.

Newest Research On The Health Perks Of Coffee

Though not every study reveals coffee to possess health-promoting possessions, nearly all is quite positive.

Apart From caffeine, coffee includes a natural combination of polyphenol antioxidants, bioflavonoids, B vitamins, and minerals like potassium, magnesium, and chromium. Research indicates that not only will be the non-caffeine elements of java anti-fungal, they work collectively to help detoxify the harsher effects of the caffeine. Additionally, coffee might actually activate valuable pathways within our bodies in the DNA level.

All these Studies Indicate That moderate coffee Consumption on a regular basis impairs cognitive impairment, cuts cancer risk, stabilizes blood glucose, and rewards the center.  To Put It Differently, coffee helps decrease the risk of many diseases:

Alzheimer's disease Cancer (such as breast, colon, pancreatic, kidney, liver, and oral) Diabetes (type 2) Heart disease (such as heart rhythm Issues and stroke) Parkinson's disease prostate cancer

Important Truth About Coffee Drinkers

Even Although java could have all the wonderful health benefits, not all of java is exactly the same. Besides, just how and when you drink it makes a difference also.

Consistently choose organic. Coffee is a harvest that's heavily sprayed with pesticides, so consequently, you should choose just coffee beans which are certified organic. Whenever possible, buy sustainable"shade-grown" java to help block the continuing destruction of the tropical rain forests and the birds which inhabit them.

Constantly buy bean. Simply purchase whole beans which odor and taste fresh, not stale.

You don't wish to purchase pre-ground coffee since you will never know whether it's already rancid by the time you get it.

Darker roast is exceptional to mild roast. The darker roasts, for example Italian, French, or people used to make expresso and Turkish coffee, are greater in neuroprotective agents compared to lighter roasts. Dark roast java elevates blood levels of these antioxidants vitamin E and glutathione more efficiently than mild roast coffee. Dark roast coffee can also be easier in your stomach since it includes a compound that prevents the stomach from producing extra acid.

Best time to drink coffee is at the morning.  According to a study, java might boost your metabolism by around 20 percent. Thus, using a cup of coffee or a single shot of espresso in the morning is best. Should you work out in the morning, have your coffee before a workout as studies show that coffee boosts athletic performance, not following since the caffeine might interfere with the body's muscle mechanism.  But do not go overboard, a couple of cups in the morning are the best for your day.

Drink your coffee without sugar, artificial sweetener, or industrial creamers.  Otherwise, you're undoing all of the health benefits of coffee. Extra sugar consumption increases the risk of insulin resistance, inhibits the immune system, also perpetuates addictive food behaviour. If you prefer dairy and may tolerate it, then you might add organic or rather grass-fed whole milk or cream to your coffee. Skim or nonfat milk frequently includes more sugar than milk, whereas commercial creamers have a tendency to possess unsavory ingredients.

Prevent novelty and flavored java. These products generally have a plethora of chemical additives.

Utilize non-bleached filters. Should you use a drip coffee maker, prevent using the glowing white chlorine-bleached filters. A number of the chlorine can leach in the coffee during the brewing procedure. The bleached filters can also contain harmful disinfection byproducts like dioxin.

Prevent plastic cups. Be mindful regarding the container that you drink your coffee out of. Plastic cups can leach BPA and Styrofoam cups can leach polystyrene molecules. Your best bets are ceramic, glass, or stainless steel coffee mugs.

When Coffee Isn't Best for you?

If you're pregnant, you must completely avoid using caffeine.

In Case You Have an problem with diminished adrenal function or adrenal fatigue, Caffeine may actually generate more stress in your adrenal glands. In this era, a lot of men and women are always stressed and exhausted, and rely upon caffeine to get sustained energy to make it through the day. If that is true, it's a tell-tale sign your body isn't functioning correctly and you have to tackle the inherent issues.

Adrenal Fatigue may wreak havoc on your health.  The adrenal glands affect every system and organ within your system - from metabolism of protein, carbohydrate, and fat, to both fluid and electrolyte balance, cardiovascular system, immune system, hormonal system, as well as your libido. Consequently, when you've got adrenal fatigue, pumping your own body with caffeine is only likely to aggravate your issue in the long term.

In case you have issues with electrolyte equilibrium , you might choose to avoid it as well.

If you drink coffee and have troubles falling asleep or often wake up in the nighttime , You might be caffeine sensitive. Caffeine levels vary based on the sort of roast, grind, and brewing procedure. Darker roasts include less caffeine than lighter roasts.  The finer the grind, the more complex the caffeine from the coffee. Drip coffee has more caffeine than espresso since the brew time is a lot longer.  Should you experience sleep problems by the caffeine, then you might choose to change your sort of roast, grind, or brewing process or cut back on the amount you drink daily and be sure to just have coffee early in the morning.

If you encounter stomach cramping, heart palpitations, or other ailments   After drinking coffee, you will actually have a food intolerance.  There's also the chance of mold (java is dried meals and might contain mould ) or other contaminants from the java that activate a physical response.

So Far, There's yet conclusive evidence revealing whether decaf coffee holds up into the advantages of carbonated coffee. Limited research were conducted with decaf coffee but those that do appear to be more promising. But as caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant and could lead to addiction and withdrawal symptoms, decaf coffee is most likely the thing to do if you prefer the flavor of coffee.

When you purchase decaf coffee, always select organic and Swiss Water Process, and it is a chemical-free approach to extract caffeine. Beware that virtually all decaf coffee utilized in coffeehouses and grocery stores is processed using the compound solvent ethyl acetate. You wish to prevent this kind of decaf coffee as hints of compound dyes still stay in the java.

Decaf coffee by legislation must have at least 97 Percentage of the caffeine removed.  For reference, a shot of espresso  Starbucks has 75 milligrams of caffeine, some brief (8-oz) brewed coffee has 175 Mg, a tall (12 ounce ) 260 mg, and a grande (16 ounce ) 330 mg)   In case you've got a lot of cups per day, then the caffeine may accumulate quite quickly.

[bethestaryouareradio]

Garden of Eating

By Cynthia Brian

 “The gathering of salads, radishes, and herbs made me feel like another about her baby--how could anything so beautiful be mine?” Alice B. Toklas

 The final month of summer is the most delicious time of the season when summer crops, especially tomatoes and squash are at their tastiest. Throughout the year I look forward to this moment when I can pluck sun-ripened heirloom tomatoes right off the vine, pinch a basil leaf or two, and devour the combination while working in my potager.

 Since medieval days, the French have been combining flowers, herbs, and vegetables in kitchen gardens called potagers. Still popular today, according to government surveys, at least 25% of consumed vegetables in France are home-grown. With the cost of fresh fruit and vegetables at an all-time high, many Americans are following suit and smartly growing their own groceries. 

 Growing up on our farm, our edible gardens were expansive. Everything we consumed we either grew or raised, except for dairy products. Whenever we visited friends or relatives, we always brought a box of freshly harvested goodies. Our meals were colorful, flavorful, and nutritious, making me a life-long advocate of continuing the tradition of growing my own organic crops and sharing the bounty with others. 

 Everyone benefits from enjoying a little patch of earth; however, most people don’t live on farms with acres of land. The good news is you don’t need a hectare to grow your own herbs and vegetables. With limited space, window boxes, balconies, doorsteps, and porches become your personal, edible Eden.

 If you are wondering what is a potager or kitchen garden, the best description is that it is a place where you grow your own garden of eating. In other words, what do you want to bring into the kitchen? Fruit, herbs, flowers, and vegetables are all welcome in a kitchen garden. Kids are instilled with better eating habits as well as a love of gardening by giving them a small plot or pot to grow foods they want to eat. Whether you are a green thumb or a non-gardener, growing edibles in a container on your patio or deck next to the grill make the ingredients easier to use in your meal planning. Most people don’t want to hike out to the back forty to harvest a handful of chives. Ornamental edibles are gorgeous and entertaining as herbs, flowers, and vegetables flow seamlessly together, attracting beneficial insects to keep the garden healthy and in balance.

 Although it is too late this year to plant a kitchen garden for summer harvesting, the forthcoming fall offers the opportunity to plant winter crops. And by salivating now over the luscious summer offerings of tomatoes, peppers, zucchini, cucumbers, eggplant, and more, you can plan next spring’s planting.

 What do you need to grow a mini garden of tasty delights?

 Containers: Anything that can hold soil and water will work well. You can purchase decorative containers in a variety of sizes, shapes, colors, and textures or you can recycle unlikely items for more of a unique design statement. I grow herbs and plants in old cowboy boots, coffee mugs, shells, wine boxes, teapots, toys, and even hats.  Drainage is critical, especially for any vessel without a bottom hole.  Add an inch of gravel or packing pebbles to the bottom of any containers to improve the drainage. Water damages surfaces. Provide saucers to prevent runoff staining.

 Soil: Synthetic “soils” are best suited for growing vegetables and herbs in pots. Purchase pre-made bags or make your own by mixing sawdust, wood chips, peat moss, perlite, vermiculite, fertilizer, compost, or other organic mediums. Mixtures must be free of disease and weed seeds, be able to hold moisture and nutrients, be lightweight, and drain well.  Before planting, water the new soil thoroughly.

 Sun: Growing herbs or vegetables requires sunshine. Make sure to position your planters in a non-drafty area receiving five to six hours of sun daily. A south, southeast, southwest, or west location is ideal. Most containers are easily moved from place to place. If very large or extra heavy, utilize the assistance of a hand truck!

 Seeds: Whether you choose seeds or small plants, you’ll want to choose herbs or veggies that won’t grow too tall or too wide and don’t have a deep rooting system. My favorites are parsley, mint, basil, chives, sage, thyme, dill, strawberries, and lavender. I have had success in growing tomatoes, eggplant, lettuce, cabbage, and peppers in containers on my patio. If you have vertical space on a balcony or porch, pole beans are fun while cucumbers and squash can be trained to trail. For great barbecue flavors, keep a wagon of herbs, specifically rosemary, within rolling distance.

 Water: Herbs and vegetables drown when water-logged. Water sparingly. Once a week during cooler seasons or in hot weather, once a day is sufficient. Poor drainage kills plants while wet leaves encourage disease. Be diligent. Feed once a month with a fertilizer designed for edibles. 

 My Asian pear and apple trees are overflowing with fruit this year as are all my citrus trees including lemon, lime, tangerine, and tangelo. Grapes are ripening and will be harvested next month. Miniature or dwarf fruit trees are available at local nurseries allowing you to grow your favorite treats in troughs or containers. Berries can be grown in barrels to boost your antioxidant quotient to fight disease and keep you healthy. 

 There is nothing better than plucking a few leaves from your aromatic herbs, ripe fruit from your tree, tangy berries from the bush, or any veggie growing in your personal plots to add flavor and health to your cuisine. Growing in the ground or pots near your cooking environment will decrease stress and improve your happiness quotient.  Your botanical babies are beautiful!

 Plant your own garden of eating today.  Enjoy paradise on a plate. Bon appetite!

 Happy Gardening. Happy Growing.

Photos and more: https://www.lamorindaweekly.com/archive/issue1614/Digging-Deep-with-Goddess-Gardener-Cynthia-Brian-Garden-of-eating.html

Press Pass: https://blog.voiceamerica.com/2022/08/31/garden-of-eating/

 Cynthia Brian, The Goddess Gardener, is available for hire to help you prepare for your spring garden. Raised in the vineyards of Napa County, Cynthia is a New York Times best-selling author, actor, radio personality, speaker, media and writing coach as well as the Founder and Executive Director of Be the Star You Are!® 501 c3. Tune into Cynthia’s StarStyle® Radio Broadcast at www.StarStyleRadio.com. Her newest children’s picture book series, Stella Bella’s Barnyard Adventures, will be available soon. Buy copies of her books, www.cynthiabrian.com/online-store. Receive a FREE inspirational music DVD and special savings. Hire Cynthia for writing projects, garden consults, and inspirational lectures.

Cynthia@GoddessGardener.com

www.GoddessGardener.com

[anna-frances]

Health Benefits of Echinacea

Echinacea (Echinacea angustifolia, E. pallida, or E. purpurea)

Also known as purple coneflower, echinacea makes a lovely addition to the garden. There are at least three echinacea species that have been used for their different medicinal properties. Although it is native to America, echinacea’s medicinal effectiveness as a powerful immunity booster has been extensively studied in Germany.

Echinacea in the Garden

Purple coneflower is a tall, regal plant that adds wonderful end-of-the-season color to the perennial garden. It resembles a black-eyed Susan, but with purple rays.

Herbal History

Echinacea was a primarily Native American healing herb. The Plains Indians used it to soothe bites from insects and snakes, clean wounds, and treat the symptoms of flu, mumps, and smallpox. It was touted as a snakebite remedy in the late 1880s and became incorporated into conventional medical treatment. German studies of echinacea’s medicinal uses began in the 1950s and continue today, all with positive results. The root of an established plant, three to four years old, is the primary part used medicinally. The plant may be dug in the autumn and the root divided and then dried before use (Because of concerns about the overharvesting of echinacea, however, harvest only those plants you grow in your own garden.) Depending on the species of echinacea, however, commercial products may incorporate the whole dried plant.

Preserving the Medicine

Many naturalists are concerned that echinacea is being overharvested, possibly threatening its survival. If you purchase echinacea, be sure that it has been cultivated (preferably using organic methods), not wildcrafted.

Health Benefits

Echinacea is an immune-system enhancer with antibacterial and antiviral properties. It boosts the white blood cells that fight infection, helps stave off colds and flu, and lessens the duration and severity of symptoms once they occur. Recent European studies conclude that echinacea is most effective when taken at the first sign of symptoms. Supplemental vitamin C at this time may also help lessen the severity of the sickness. Taken internally, this plant medicine can also help to treat the middle ear, urinary tract, vaginal yeast, and other recurring infections. Applied as a topical liquid, echinacea acts as a topical anesthetic, raising the area’s pain threshold, and promotes healing of all kinds of skin wounds, burns, sores, and eczema. Echinacea’s effectiveness as a treatment for rheumatoid arthritis and cancer is also being studied. Some people take echinacea as a daily supplement in an attempt to prevent illness. Most authorities discourage its daily use, which can create tolerance of the herb and negate its positive effects.

How to Use Echinacea

Echinacea can be prepared in many forms: internally as a capsule, tablet, juice, tincture, or tea and externally in liquid form (juice, diluted tincture, or cooled tea) as a base for a poultice or skin wash. For medicinal purposes, most herbal practitioners recommend the tincture form; the tea is generally not strong enough. The usual dose is 1 dropperful of the tincture up to four times a day. Capsules of the freeze-dried extract are also a good choice for a potent dose. Follow the directions on the individual product label. It is common for the tincture to create a tingling sensation on the tongue when ingested. This reaction is harmless—and some say it’s a sure sign of the echinacea’s potency.

ECHINACEA-ROOT TEA

Start drinking this tea at the first sign of a cold or flu. You’ll know it’s potent when your tongue feels a bit tingly after downing a mug. 1 teaspoon (5 ml) dried echinacea root, or 1 tablespoon (15 ml) fresh 1 cup (237 ml) water Honey (optional)

Combine the echinacea and water in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, cover, and let simmer for 20 to 30 minutes. Remove from heat and strain. Sweeten with honey, if desired, and drink.

Safety and Cautions for Echinacea

Echinacea use may cause mild digestive side effects; no major side effects have been reported at recommended doses. Those allergic to flowers in the daisy family may experience an allergic reaction and, if so, should discontinue use. Echinacea may worsen the symptoms of autoimmune illnesses, including lupus, multiple sclerosis, and rheumatoid arthritis. People with AIDS are also cautioned against using this herb.

[gardenassist]

In this article, we will explain six important things you should be known before you start selling your microgreens. In a previous article, we reviewed in detail step-by-step How-to Marketing Microgreens?

BRANDING

Branding is one of the most intimidating things about starting a business. Branding is not just about making a product and giving it to someone you know or selling it. You need a brand around your product, and sometimes that’s not so easy to do.

But what is branding? Quite simply, a product is what you sell, a brand is the perceived image of the product you sell, and branding is the strategy to create that image.

A unique brand can significantly impact your bottom line by giving you a competitive advantage over your competitors and helping you attract and retain customers at a much lower cost. First, understand your target audience, mission statement, and the unique qualities that make up your business.

Once you can say with confidence that you’ve mastered these steps, it’s time to move on to one of the more exciting parts of branding – visual design. We’re talking here about your logo, color palette, typography (fonts), iconography, and other visual components.

Logo

First, you need a logo. A logo is a symbol made up of text and images that identifies a business. A good logo is the cornerstone of your brand. It helps customers understand what you do, who you are, and what you value. You will use or print your logo on all promotional materials, communications, labels, products, stationery and vehicles.

If you are good with graphics software like Photoshop, you can create your logo. First, however, I recommend that you contact a professional graphic designer.

You can find many of them on a website called Fiverr, an online marketplace for freelance services with cheap providers from all over the world.

Fiverr is very affordable because it has people from all over the world who have all kinds of skills, from graphic design to website design to marketing and advertising.

When you choose a designer on Fiverr, you probably want to jump right into their portfolio, but first, look at how they present and market themselves. Logo designers live and die by their portfolios, and their past work will likely be the essential factor in your decision.

While some designers are generalists who work in various styles, many have a distinct voice and style or even focus on a single industry. And once you’ve decided on the perfect designer, you can contact them, and in no time, you’ll have your logo.

Marketing Informational Materials

To sell your microgreens well and get your brand noticed, you need to create printed promotional materials.

Flyers, business cards, brochures, catalogs, tablecloths with logos for farmers markets, t-shirts, hats, etc. are all part of your branding strategy.

Getting your brand out there on every medium available is extremely important because it helps position you in the marketplace and makes you recognizable. Once again, this assignment may not be easy for you because you don’t necessarily know how to create marketing informational materials.

Not everyone knows how to design a brochure or knows how to create a flyer, and that’s not surprising.

Again, I recommend using Fiverr to find professionals who can do the work for you. The most important thing is that you know what message you want to convey to the public.

Then all you have to do is explain your ideas to the graphic designers and oversee their work. It would help if you also relied on a reputable print provider.

There are likely printers in your home that are capable of doing the job. You can certainly look around and inquire about their services and prices.

However, you can usually find better prices on the internet than in physical printing companies in your area. Just do a simple Google search to find many.

Vistaprint is the best online business card printer I’ve tested, thanks to its combination of excellent print quality, good design tools, and low prices. The company also prints promotional items such as mugs, posters, and even tablecloths.

Because Vistaprint offers such a wide variety of products, prices vary depending on the service. For example, Vistaprint offers glossy or matte business cards starting at 15 cents each ($15 for 100) and matte invitations starting at 72 cents each ($75 for 100). You can get a quote for your Vistaprint order by using the quote calculator on the company’s website.

To get an accurate estimate, here’s what you need to know:

– What product you want

– The size and style

– Any special features

– The quantity you need

You can test a possible design at Vistaprint by visiting the website and viewing the available templates.

PRICING

The pricing decision is one of the most important ones you will have to make. As we have seen in previous chapters, you can get 8 to 12 ounces of microgreens (depending on the variety) from a single tray.

Typically, you will not sell the whole trays, as it is best to do this business on a smaller scale.

The standard weight of a package of ready-to-sell microgreens is about 2 ounces (although much depends on the type of packaging), so you could pull 4 to 6 packages from a tray to sell.

The average price for a 2-ounce pack is about $3. You can decide if you want to sell each pack at a higher or lower price.

For example, some micro-greens producers sell each 2-ounce box for $ 7, and others sell for $2. The price of the product depends on many factors.

First and foremost, you need to consider the cost that you will incur. In the previous sections, I have already presented you with a general break-down of the costs. As we have seen, the variable cost of producing a tray of microgreens is around $4.

However, cases can vary, and only when your business is up and running will you be able to estimate your actual costs.

In addition, microgreens differ from each other. Seeds have different costs. The time to harvest can be longer or shorter.

Packaging can be more or less expensive, depending on what you choose. All of these things have a significant impact on the final price you choose, so it’s not possible to offer a one-size-fits-all solution.

But there is one more important thing to con-sider. You can’t set a price by looking only at your costs. Of course, the cost is essential, but it’s even more important to understand the acceptable price for the typical customer you’re trying to sell your product to.

Once again, you can’t ignore a careful analysis of your target market. Are there other vendors in the market? What prices are they charging? To whom are they selling their microgreens? To whom do you want to sell your products? These are all questions you need to ask yourself when setting your price.

If you sell your microgreens to people looking for a high-quality product with a well-crafted package and care about their health, you can get a higher price.

However, suppose you only go to restaurants that use microgreens essentially as a raw material and don’t pay too much attention to the packaging or other elements. In that case, you’ll have to lower the price.

Also, a restaurant may ask you to deliver an entire tray of microgreens every week. For these customers, you need to make a reduced price.

Your price choice depends on how you want to position yourself in the market, your costs, and how much your customers are willing to spend.

Of course, the price can make or break your profit margin, but I can tell you with certainty that the business is almost always profitable.

PACKAGING

Packaging is one of the fundamental factors affecting the sale of any product, and microgreens are no exception to this rule. Truth be told, in the case of microgreens, the packaging is even more important than for many other consumer products.

The target customers of these types of products are susceptible to environmental issues, so they will carefully evaluate the product you are selling and the way you have packaged it.

It is imperative that you know that everything you do in your business, including product packaging, impacts what can be called the “customer experience”.

Think of a customer who buys your product and takes it home but can’t open it because the packaging isn’t cleverly designed. Or think of a customer who opens the package, finds that it looks good, it smells good, but then finds that the box can’t be closed again.

Continuing with examples, think of your customer noticing that your product’s packaging is made of non-re-cyclable and environmentally harmful materials.

All of these factors can negatively impact the customer experience, create dissatisfaction, and hurt your business at the end of the story.

So what alternatives are available to you? The bulk distribution uses a lot of paper and cardboard. These materials can also be recycled and are therefore suitable from an environmental sustainability point of view.

The problem is that sometimes they are not strong enough to support the weight of a seedling containing moist soil.

On the other hand, there is also plastic packaging, but these are to be discarded in my opinion (although they are very cheap), as they are not very nice to look at and, above all, not environmentally friendly.

In any case, the choice of packaging depends a lot on the customer you want to target. Evaluate your market well before choosing your packaging.

For example, a restaurant might accept a product packaged in plain plastic trays without any problem.

If you sell produce at farmers markets, you may opt for even more straightforward and homier packaging. In this case, your customers will love to see that your product is handmade, and you can package it that way.

Many vendors who work at farmers markets bring the seedlings to the market, cut them in front of the customer, and put them in an envelope when they sell them.

However, if your product is destined for grocery stores and needs to be displayed on the shelves, you will certainly need to develop something more sophisticated. You also need to pay attention to design and labeling.

Transportation is also not to be underestimated. If the product is to be transported or shipped, you will need to opt for a sturdier packaging, and you may need to pack your already packaged product in a second container designed for shipping.

Bottom line: assess your market well first. Packaging has a significant impact on the perceived value of your brand, and making the wrong packaging choice can hurt your image. In conclusion, my advice is not to focus too much on saving on this element. An investment of a few cents in packaging can exponentially increase the perceived value of the product.

LABELLING

Labels are an essential thing in your business: you can’t have a product without labels. But most importantly, labels are a great marketing communication tool. There is much information you need to put on your labels.

If you have an organic certification that you’ve worked hard for, be sure to include it. Even if you are not certified organic, but you use organic seeds and soil, you can show that on your labels. Your microgreens are certainly pesticide and herbicide-free.

Point this out, even if you are not certified organic, if you are 99%, your customers will want to know. Here’s a sample list of information you could put on your labels:

Brand Name and logo

Product name

Product image

Certified Organic

Pesticide & Herbicide Free

Organic seed and soil Contact information

Call to social media

Weight

Harvest date

Place of business

Washed or not

Info on product use

Another thing to keep in mind is that each microgreen you sell is different and therefore needs another label. So, the best advice I can give you is to list all your products in an excel file.

I suggest that you create an excel file and put all the products that you have in your catalog in it. Next to the name of each product, you need to enter the information about the product: the photo, the weight, the instructions, etc.

Then you can provide this Excel file to the person who will create your labels, or you can upload them directly to websites like Avery, which I’ll talk about in a moment.

You can create labels using Canva, which is a free online graphics editor. It doesn’t have many features, but it’s simple and easy to use.

Many microgreen growers create their labels using the Avery app (avery.com). The site is elementary to use: You can register, choose the size of your label, select a template (among the many available), and create your project.

If you want, you can also import all the information from an Excel file. When you’re done, you can download the label file to print at home, or you can have it printed directly.

How much you spend on labels depends on how many you order, whether you print fullcolour or black and white, and what type of printing you use (DIY laserjet/inkjet, buy a specialized label printer, or hire a professional printer).

If you buy labels from Avery, the cost can be relatively high. For example, when producing a thousand labels, the price can vary from 20 to 40 cents.

Avery is very expensive compared to a laserjet/inkjet printer, and I don’t advise you to use it for an extended time.

A professional label printer can cost upwards of $ 1,500, but that’s an expense you can recoup over time, as printing a single label cost much less with this type of product (about 4-6 cents, depending on the size).

Barcodes

Barcodes are another thing to consider, especially if you want to sell your microgreens in grocery stores. Barcodes allow businesses to distribute and sell their products in a variety of point-of-sale scenarios. Before you can begin selling your products, you will need to purchase a barcode for each product you wish to trade.

There are tow main types of barcodes:

1- UPC, which stands for Universal Product Code, is a 12-digit bar code used primarily in Canada and the United States. Retailers add UPCs to every item they sell to track their product inventory.

2- EAN originally stood for “European Article Number”, which is the bar code used by retailers outside North America.

The barcode issue seems complicated, but it’s straightforward: barcodes can be purchased on the Internet, and there are many websites where you can buy them, such as speedybarcodes.com/ or buyabarcode.com.

Usually, you can buy both the UPC (for the US and Canada) and EAN (for the rest of the world) formats of your numbers for the same price. The price varies depending on the quantity. If you buy only 50 barcodes, they will cost you $0.7 each, but if you buy 1,000, they will probably cost you only $0.15 each.

Once you purchase the barcodes from one of these sites, you will receive digital barcode images for all of your barcode numbers in JPG, PDF, and EPS formats. You can use the images to create your labels or print them directly onto your product packaging.

[crazy4tank]

This New Vietnamese Coffee Brand Has Refreshed My Daily Caffeine Ritual

New Post has been published on https://foodloverrecipes.com/blog/this-new-vietnamese-coffee-brand-has-refreshed-my-daily-caffeine-ritual/

This New Vietnamese Coffee Brand Has Refreshed My Daily Caffeine Ritual

This is Highly Recommend, a column dedicated to what people in the food industry are obsessed with eating, drinking, and buying right now.

My routines have gotten boring. Day in, day out, it’s the same thing: Wake up, brush my teeth, exercise (LOL), make my first mug of pour-over and, eventually, get on with the day. Where I once found constancy and stability in these micro-rituals, my routines had become rote. They were officially stale.

I knew I needed to shake things up, but switching up my workout from yoga to HIIT exercises felt excessive (and I’m a lazy person who doesn’t like to sweat—no thanks). Changing the coffee in my grinder and my process of brewing it felt like a gentler way to introduce change, however small.

Enter Fat Miilk, a new coffee company whose goal is to introduce Vietnamese coffee culture, tradition, and flavor to Americans. Founded by Lan Ho and Tuan Huynh earlier this year and launched in September, the brand leans in on the founders’ upbringing, highlighting Huynh’s family’s coffee farm in Buôn Ma Thuột, the capital city of Đắk Lắk Province in the Central Highlands of Vietnam.

In a world seemingly full-to-the brim with artisan craft coffees, Fat Miilk stands apart in one major way: They embrace coffee’s robusta variety. Arabica, which is the species grown at higher altitudes in lower quantities and typically described as fruitier and sweeter, is much more common in specialty coffees, but at a higher price. For a while, robusta (which can be grown at lower altitudes and can be nuttier in flavor) was considered “inferior,” but Ho and Huynh want to change that narrative.

“Where my family grows our beans, the majority of those farmers grow robusta,” says Huynh. “It is authentic to who we are to embrace these beans. We’re not super-versed in coffee culture—we’re new to the coffee game—but one thing that always struck me was that robusta was always treated secondary to arabica, and that narrative hurts farmers like my family,” who hand-harvest and process the beans before they are roasted by Càphê Roasters, a Vietnamese specialty coffee roaster in Philadelphia.

“It was important for us to get the roasted flavors right, too,” says Ho. “When we were looking to partner with roasters for our robusta beans, (Càphê Roasters) knew what we were going for because there was this shared experience. They understood what we wanted, because they’re Vietnamese, too.”

That collaboration resulted in the brand’s first offering, the Blue Roast. Available ground or as whole beans, the coffee is all toasty almonds with kind of a grassy aroma on the nose, an eye-opener for sure. Besides having a different flavor profile from arabica, robusta also has the distinction of boasting more caffeine than its counterpart, if you need to be further sold on giving it a try.

Further highlighting the Vietnamese coffee experience, the Fat Miilk team also sells phins, the adorable pour-over adjacent brewing vessels found throughout Vietnam. Easy to use, the phin is not too much a departure from my standard pour-over ritual.

Like a pour-over, you place the phin on top of your mug. You allow the coffee grounds to bloom a bit with an initial splash of hot water—just enough to dampen the grounds. This releases trapped carbon dioxide, which can taste sour, but also inhibits the extraction of aromatics and oils. (Blooming is recommended no matter how you brew your coffee, to enhance your flavor experience.) After the initial bloom, you fill the phin to the top and cap it off with the filter press—the whole production, which doesn’t take longer than 5 minutes, is like a combination of pour-over and French press methods. (Fat Miilk also provides a useful how-to on its website.) Et voila, you have an, ahem, a robust cup of joe to fuel whatever the day may bring. The whole process is familiar but enough of a difference that reminds me change is fun and good. 

Even better? I can use the phin to make iced Fat Miilk coffee in the afternoon—Ho and Hunyh nearly insist. Vietnamese iced coffee has long been my favorite excuse to enjoy a generous spoonful of sweetened condensed milk in, well, anything, so who am I to say no? Rich, creamy and sweet, it is the perfect foil for robusta’s flavors, which tend toward chocolatey when iced.

You better believe I introduced a leisurely coffee ritual to my afternoons.

Fat Miilk Blue Phin Filter