#movie reference hidden in this post!

[nebbychan]

So when I first started planning out the fic, originally the dynamic I’d intended for Dan and Kiya was going to be the rivals to lovers trope. I also liked the idea of Kiya being fairly aggressive in contrast to Dan’s chivalry, which would’ve made it harder for them to cooperate in the beginning, then gradually soften up as they went on their quest. However, I didn’t go with it as not only did I prefer them as being kindred spirits, but also because I couldn’t find any good reason for them to dislike each other at the start.

[mechahero]

There's a whoooole bunch of undead guys in Motor City! And while I can't go over every single one of them, here's a small selection of zombies you'll see here! You don't have to use the nicknames for them though, we are all aware of how dumb they sound.

YOU try coming up with a way to tell different zombies apart without sounding like a complete dumbass though. >:/

ROMEROS- Your classic zombie. Slow, shambling and trouble in large crowds. These guys outnumber most of the zombie types here 2 to 1. Compared the zombies they're named after, they're far more smarter than them. While you won't catch them using a rock to bash open a window, you'll at the very least be able to hold normal conversations with them as they're well... normal people still more or less!

You could always ask one what brought them back and sometimes they'll tell that it was due to a satellite that came back from Venus. Don't take it to heart though, it's mostly a joke.

LANDERS- Said to be the victims of a disease (probably rabies or mad cow disease or something, we don't fricking know), these zombies are bit uh... complicated. These guys take the longest to get back on track and get them acting like the humans they used to be. It's no fault of their own obviously, but man is their particular strain of zombification a complete BITCH to work with. It makes them bitey, spew-y and all around JERKS the first few months of unlife.

They're alright once you get them back down to normal but you really gotta stick it out through those months to do it. And the kicker? They can only make more of themselves via biting. Or if they've got a cold and are inconsiderate enough to not cover their mouths when they sneeze. Not that you'll catch any of the ones here biting people though. That's rude and they're more likely to be chowing down on junk food than people. They looove stuff like Ding Dongs and stuff like that.

Not every Lander is the same though, since some of them seem to act completely differently to the regular Landers. One of them snuck up on me the other day, it wasn't fun.

TRAINRUNNERS- Okay, forget what I said about the Landers. THESE guys are complicated. Kind of, I mean. They're fast, super durable for the most part and their strain is also spread through bite and boy, does it spread FAST. It's probably for the best that there's so few of them living here. That's nothing against them, of course but uh... it's not fun to deal with?

And if takes a while to get a Lander back on track, then it takes even longer for a Trainrunner. Which is not as pleasant as you can imagine when they get out of control but hey, we push through. Some of them are kind of prickly people to deal with though. We're not sure if that's because of the way their strain affects their brains or if some of them are natural born jerks. But either way, if you see some literally rotten looking people with varicose like veins and wearing sunglasses (their eyes ARE kind of gross looking), then you're seeing a Trainrunner. Just be cool around them and you'll be okay.

I dunno who originally coined their nickname though. We don't even have trains here?

NEWDEADS- A sort of catchall term for zombies that don't fit in the standard definition of zombie but are similar enough to their regular counterparts to qualify as one. It's not too uncommon to see a Newdead with a pulse (That's me!) but as long as they have a couple of traits seen in either Romeros, Landers, or Trainrunners, they can count as a Newdead. The one difference between a Newdead and the other zombie types though is that Newdeads don't have to worry about losing control and going on a complete rampage just to eat some dang flesh. Newdeads are kind of like humans the most? But also kind of not? They're stuck in a weird in between of being both and neither.

Don't ask how a zombie can have a pulse though. Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense but we're all made and sometimes rot and decompose in different ways and you'll break your brain trying to understand it so don't fricking question it. We're all kind of dead and that's just it! :>

Anyways, that should be just about every type of zombie seen here mostly! Might have missed a few but I can always edit this thing. Or just make new pamphlets. Either one. Next one's going to be about vampires and let me tell you that one's gonna be wayyyy easier! Well bye! ^_^b <- (me giving you a thumbs up)

[tbaluver]

Kissing His Scars- The Love And DeepSpace Men

parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader requested: anonnie (anonymous) ᯓᡣ𐭩 genre: slight angst i think ( references of their past lives ) but tooth rotting fluff overall ! a/n: hihi lovelies i miss you all ! i've been really busy with school and i missed writing and interacting with you all so much ˙◠˙ this was requested by an anonnie and i apologize if this is written not the best i feel so rusty bc my exams drained me ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) i hope you all are so well and i hope i can get some writing posted bc i have a couple ideas for kinktober but i feel so late ˙◠˙ anyways enjoy reading ! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

Xavier has a couple scars from all the battles he’s been through. A couple small ones from his hands and a couple on his arms. You’ve seen them sometimes when he’s had his shirt off or when you shower together.

He was curious about why you were doing this in the first place. His eyes sparkled with affection as you kiss and caress the lines of each scar with tenderness. He'd lean in to your touch, letting you do as you please, appreciating every second and minute of it. He felt so appreciated and special that he will definitely return the favor back to you.

Every kiss on his scars reminds him that each battle he’s faced has been worth it. In this lifetime, he has found you again after losing you and enduring so much. Now, he has a loving partner to come home to- where he feels cherished, complete, and truly at peace.

────୨ৎ────

You were curled up on the couch, flipping through different shows and movies in search of the perfect one to enjoy while waiting for you and Xavier’s food. Just then, Xavier joins you, settling his head comfortably in your lap, a contented sigh escaping his lips.

“Hi honey,” He says softly, his voice warm as he cups your face. His fingers gently tracing small circles on your cheek.

“Hi baby” you reply, nuzzling against his hand and placing your own atop his. Your heart flutters as you glance down at him. You took his hand, planting soft kisses along his inner palm before intertwining your fingers with his.

He watches you with a playful smile, utterly smitten by how adorable you were. Small affections made him feel loved and cherished. As you flipped his hand to face yours, you noticed the small scars that marked his skin- stories he briefly mentioned he’s gotten from childhood and battles with Wanderers from the past.

“Did you really get these when you were just a child?” you asked as he nodded. “A couple were from mishandling my sword while I was training,” he explained, earning a breathy chuckle.

You draw his hand closer, your lips finding those small scars.

“Hmm? What are you doing? They don’t hurt anymore,” He says so innocently, a hint of curiosity in his eyes. As you pull your lips away from his hand, you look down, meeting his gaze.

“I know,” you reply, your voice softening. “You’ve come some far. Those battles shape you into this strong and brave man.” A gentle smile graced your lips as he returned your smile, warmth flooding over him.

“No, it’s all those battles that have made everything worth it to have you in the end.” His voice filled with sincerity. Unable to resist, he sits up, leaning in. His eyes soften as he closes the distance between you two. Your breath caught as his lips met yours, tender and sweet, feeling the warmth of his love wrap around you.

Zayne:

You were no stranger to the scars on his arms. You've memorized every part of his body by now. He always kept them hidden whenever he wore his coat, long sleeves, or cardigan. Whether or not he was insecure about them or not, you wanted to make sure every inch of him was loved.

He was a bit surprised when you first kissed the scars on his arms. When your soft lips brushed against his scars, he melted at your touch. He feels a warmth spread through his body that brings him comfort and so so unconditionally loved. As you planted gentle kisses along his arm, a smile curled on his lips.

He loves it and finds it endearing whenever you do, making sure to give you the same amount of kisses back or more to remind you how much equally he loves you back.

────୨ৎ────

You rested your head on Zayne’s lap, the TV fading into a dull hum as he immersed himself in the pages of his book. With one hand holding the book, his other hand rests against your head to act as a pillow. Curiosity piqued you as you shifted slightly to play with his hand, captivated by the contract between the sizes of your hands. That’s when your gaze fell on the scar peeking from his sleeve.

As he continues to read, you gently push his sleeve up, tracing the outline of his scar before moving to the one beside it. You remembered him telling you he’d gotten these from childhood and how he can’t fully remember how he got them. A bittersweet ache fills your heart as you think of the childhood you both missed out on, wishing you could have been there to ease his pain and take care of him.

Drawn by an impulse, you inch closer and closer to his arm, planting a delicate trail of kisses on his scars. The soft warmth of your lips draws his attention to you. As he glances down, a small smile curls onto his lips.

“What are you doing, my love?” He asks softly, closing his book and setting it aside. His free hand brushes back the stray strands of your hair that had fallen over your face, tucking them gently behind your ear.

You rolled over to meet his gaze, your heart swelling at the sight of his soft smile and the warmth in his eyes, all just for you.

“Seeing these makes me wish I could have taken away your pain back then.” He’d sigh, cupping your face, his gaze continues to be filled with warmth.

“What matters is that you’re here with me now.” He replies softly as you shift closer, sitting up to rest your head against his chest. “Just having you here makes everything feel right,” He says with a soft smile on his face.

“I’m grateful that we eventually found our way to each other in the end.” He gently lifted your chin with his finger, drawing your gaze back to his before pressing a sweet and tender kiss to your lips.

( astra when i catch you astra.....)

Rafayel:

He is no stranger to you kissing his scars. You did it once when you kissed his paper cuts on his finger and he wanted you to keep doing it again and again.

Acts as if he's touch-starved. His reasoning would be one he loves it, two he loves and craves your touch, three he feels seen. You’ll still love him no matter what flaws he has or what he becomes.

Although there were some scars that randomly appeared on his arms, hinting untold stories. Initially you assume they might have stemmed from his artistic pursuits and whenever you bring it up, he brushes the topic aside.

Knowing Raf, you sense there’s more beneath the surface, he’s never been one to shy away from discussing his body. But you choose not to press on it and you’ll wait patiently for him to open up in his own time. For now, your love will be his comfort to whatever untold stories those scars hold on him.

────୨ৎ────

“Ouch! My hand!” He whines, flailing his hand in the air as if that might chase away the sting. You walk over to his stool, where he’s currently suffering from another paper cut from his sketchbook.

“Cutie,” he pouts, raising his finger to your face with a hopeful expression. “Kiss it, please.” You can’t help but chuckle as you take his hand in yours. You press a gentle kiss over the tiny wound to make his pain go away.

“There. It’ll be gone in a few seconds, Raf.” Just to be sure, you place another soft kiss on the same spot and notice a faint scar peeking from under his dress sleeve.

“Another one Raf? Where’d you get this scar?” You ask, gently pulling his arm to roll up his sleeve and examine it. He shrugs, a hint of mystery in his eyes. “I dunno, it just appeared out of nowhere. I can’t be too focused on that if I’m always focused on you cutie.” You snort. tracing the outline of the scar with your fingertip before leaning in to place a tender kiss on it.

He smiles, his nebula colored eyes sparkling as if they imitated space and the stars. “Are you trying to make it go away cutie?” he asks, tilting his head.

“Yes,” you reply softly, “but it’s also for the times I couldn’t be there to kiss it better.” He swears his heart can leap out of his chest right now and do backflips from how adorable you are. He reaches out to cup your face, his free arm slipping around your waist to pull you closer to him.

“Then I guess you just have to stay with me all the time," he says, a mix of playfulness and seriousness in his voice. “What if I get hurt again? Who’s going to kiss it all better? He gazes into your eyes, a soft smile breaking across his face.

He gently pulls you onto his lap, your faces meeting each other's level as you meet each other’s gaze. “You know,” he says, his voice gentle, “I could get used to you kissing all my scars. You make everything feel so much better.”

With a playful twinkle in his eye, he cups your cheek, drawing you closer until your lips brush against each other in a sweet, lingering kiss.

Sylus:

You’ve seen the scar on his chest before, whether it was during your shared showers or a cozy night in your shared bed. It often peeks out from under his robe, nestled by his sternum. He doesn’t mention much about how he got it, so you decided not to pry further into it.

The first time you did it was when you both got ready for bed. As you nestled your head against his chest, your fingers gently trace the scar that marked his skin. He’d hum in response from your touch as you pressed a soft kiss to it. He’d let out a silent laugh, finding you to be oh so adorable. He'd ruffle your hair before placing a sweet kiss on the top of your head.

You'd do it a lot more often after you found out he enjoys your small acts of affection towards him. You'd do it any chance you'd get.

In the steamy shower, you'd go on your tippy toes to kiss his scar and he'd respond back by gently placing a finger under your chin to draw you in for a soft tender kiss in return.

He loves it when you kiss the scar on his chest. You’re the only person he can be himself and vulnerable around, so doing an intimate act like that makes him feel safe and loved.

────୨ৎ────

Sylus was already in bed, his head resting gently against the headboard. His eyes were closed, the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest was evident to the exhaustion from a long day of work. Not wanting to disturb his peace, you quietly climbed on top of him, resting your head near his heart, hearing the soft, rapid thumps of his heartbeat. Instinctively, he wraps his arms around your waist, drawing you closer.

“Goodnight Sy,” you whisper, planting a tender kiss on his chest. Your gaze falls upon the scar that you knew so well, it’s story etched into his skin.

“Goodnight, sweetie,” he murmured back, his voice a low, soothing whisper as his fingers traced gentle circles on your waist.

You let your fingertips wander over the scar, feeling the slight indentation. He responds with a soft hum, his eyes still closed. “Can’t sleep?” he asked quietly, his hands still anchoring you on to him. You hum in reply, your mind drifting back to the story behind his scar.

-

“Where did you get this scar, Sy?” you asked, as the warm water pours over both of you in the shower.

He glances down at you, his gaze softening as he focuses on your face, careful not to let the soap get into your eyes. “That,” he paused for a moment, “is the reason I’m still here. But that’s all in the past now, sweetie.”

-

You remember not prying further as you traced the scar’s curves. Leaning closer, you pressed a soft kiss to his scar, earning a breathy chuckle from him as he tangles his fingers in your hair.

“I’m glad you’re still here with me, Sy,” you whisper, continuing to caress the scar with your fingertip.

He shifted slightly, pulling you closer, your eyes meeting his crimson ones. His gaze was sleepy yet filled with warmth. If his heart beats any faster, he swears his heart can burst out of his chest.

“And I’m grateful to always have you by my side.” A soft smile curls to his lips as he cups your face, his thumb gently stroking your cheek before pulling you forward to him, giving you a sweet and passionate kiss.

[submattenthusiast]

makeup

synopsis - pegging matt in his sexy costume

pairings; sub!matt x dom!reader (no use of y/n)

contents- smut, pegging, ass play, mommy kink, male masturbation, use of pet names, cum, all that good stuff.

a/n - this was heavily requested! but i understand that this is not for everyone so please do not read if this makes you uncomfy otherwise enjoy! not proofread

“okay you can look now” matt giggled, referring to your hands covering your eyes. matt had been so secretive about his halloween costume claiming he wanted it to be a total surprise. not even letting you come shopping with him. you slowly removed your hands and opened your eyes, they adjusted to the brightness of the room before focusing. it took everything in you not to scream, he looked so fucking good. covered in black clothes head to toe with tiny spots of orange and grey, brown hair so perfectly messy, and black face paint smudged around his blue eyes as a cherry on top.

“now don’t you look handsome mr. wayne” you complimented. matt twirled as you praised his costume, giving you a full show. you sauntered over to his standing figure to look closer at him. your hands felt up over his costume once close enough, stopping at his hands that were covered with fake bandage wraps. the skin was smooth in comparison to the ragged material adorning his wrists. you brought his hand to your lips and softly kissed his knuckles, just above the bandages.

matt smiled shyly at your soft touches and kisses. “don’t tease”. matt was close to melting under your touch– almost forgetting he had to go take pictures with his brothers soon. “sorry you just kiss look so kiss good” you purr. with one last kiss, you let his hand go. “i’ll be back in an hour or so?” matt offered in return, implying that you had all night to kiss on him and other things. you nodded while straightening him up .“don’t be long yeah?”. his soft hair tickled your face as whispered teasingly, lips brushing against the shell of his ear “my favourite toy is calling your name” . shivers ran down his spine at the mention of your strap-on, riling him up already. not to mention the seduction laced in your voice, it drove him insane. It took everything in him not to bail on his plans.

۶ৎ

the instagram notification broke your focus from the halloween movies and specials you were watching on tv. Matthew.sturniolo just made a post displayed across your wallpaper. you clicked on it immediately, excited to see how the photos came out. once instagram loaded it showed matt’s post of 4 photos of him as batman and references for his costume. six in total. your jaw dropped as you swiped, seeing matt look so mysterious, dark, and sexy. the bad lighting of the photos made it even sexier. you liked the photos and commented a few emojis with horny messages. 

after oogling over the post for a few minutes you placed your phone down and headed back towards your room to prepare for matt’s return. the floorboards creaked under your feet as you sped towards the bathroom.

your hands wrapped around your towel as you stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, water still dripping off your body and leaving a trail behind you.

still, in your towel, you rummaged through your closet for the special black lingerie you planned on wearing tonight and a cover-up while you waited. it was wedged in between one of matt’s hoodies and your jacket. you pulled it out and smiled, caressing the lacy fabric as you thought about how you would look in it. draping it over your arm you moved on to finding what you needed for the intimate acts you planned on engaging in with matt. the box of toys was hidden well, in a spot which only you and matt could find easily but nobody else would think of looking. opening the velvet top you instantly reached for the strap on and the lube. once you had those you carefully looked around in the box for anything else you might need before shutting it and stepping out of the closet.

you placed the various sexual items on your bed, laying them out in the order you would use them; lingerie first, then the lubricant, and finally the star of the show the skin-toned dildo attached to black straps. you sighed and turned on your heels to get ready, excited to look nice but not for the process. after about 30 minutes you were so satisfied with how you looked, silily getting distracted by yourself in the full-body mirror in the corner of the room. the black fabric hugged your body just right, showing off your cleavage and parts of your skin under the see-through lace. 

your phone kept you busy for the time being, watching various tiktoks and liking more halloween costume reveals. you scrolled until matt cracked open the bedroom door. “sorry for the wait, the city needed me sweets’ ” matt said in his batman voice as he walked into the room. you shut your phone off and chuckled at him still being in character. you swung your legs to the side and hopped off the bed, and began seductively stripping out of the cover-up. discarding the garment and you strode towards your boyfriend slowly. showing off the black set to him.

matt’s eye black surrounded eyes widened at the sight of you. he mouthed a damn as he met you halfway, his bandaged hands immediately reached for your waist. your arms wrapped around his neck as he grabbed your waist, closing the gap between you both. your fingers tangled in the hair on the back of his neck as you talked. “are you all mine now mr. wayne?” you giggled, keeping up with his act. his thumbs smoothed against your sides as he took you in, just floored by you. “all yours” he whispered as he leaned in to kiss you.

the quick kiss quickly turned into a heated makeout session, without the tongue fighting— though sexy, matt gave you complete control, letting your tongue slip into his mouth and your lips engulf his. the kiss was messy and full of need from both parties. multitasking while you kissed him you started to walk him towards the bed, pushing his body back without breaking the kiss. matt grabbed at your lace-covered ass as he stumbled backward. you groaned into his mouth at his wandering hands. once at the side of the bed, you broke the messy kiss. saliva was swapped and connected you both once you pulled away. 

you reached around his long legs and moved the toy and lube before pushing him back on the bed, ensuring he wouldn’t hit anything on his way down. matt hit the bed pretty hard but his multiple layers softened the fall. he opened his arms and positioned his legs so you could climb on top of him. you took the signal and crawled over his body only stopping when you reached his crotch. balancing on one hand you dragged your free hand across the tent that formed in his pants while you guys kissed, you felt it poking due to the proximity but got lost in the feeling of his mouth.

matt gasped at the touch you were giving him. he was sure his thick cargos would hide his hard-on until he stripped. “this all for me?” you cooed, tracing the outline of his cock. he nodded quickly. “yes mama was thinking about you fucking me the whole time”. you can’t even lie, the confession made you grin, knowing a couple of whispers hours ago affected him this much. you paused on the groping to stradle him. your thighs caged his smaller legs in. the scratchy fabric made marks against your thighs from how close you were and his cock was distracting under you.“and i was thinking about how bad i wanted to ruin your makeup”

you brought a thumb up to his lips and tapped lightly. the cracks and dry patches stood out as you touched them. matt instantly opened his mouth for you, lips wrapping around your thumb perfectly. matt’s tongue swirled around the tip of your thumb as he got it wet for you. “good boy” matt whimpered at the praise and sucked until you took your finger out his mouth with a pop and dragged it under his eyes — leaving a smudged empty spot on his face. perfect.

“please ruin it i can’t wait anymore,” matt said as he squirmed under you. his cock was begging to be released and touched. and his tight hole was dying to be stretched. you caressed his cheek as you looked down  “you’re gonna look so pretty as i fuck you” he shuddered at your words and whispered a please, resorting to begging now as he began aching for you.

his eyes followed your movements as you reached for the lube and strap. they lit up as soon as your fingers made contact. you slid off his lap and sat on the space next to him. “pants down and ass up,” you instructed. while matt scrambled off the bed, you focused on coating your fingers with lubricant.

the sounds of matt stripping filled your ears, the zipper flying down, pants ruffling as he pulled them down, and the plop of his boxers joining his pants at his ankles. he turned his head towards you, watching you coat the tips of your fingers in lube. you placed it down on the bed and turned to matt, cooing internally at his obedience. your clean hand smoothed over his soft bare ass, caressing it but avoiding where he wanted you to touch. “ready?” you asked. he muffled a please and nodded eagerly. 

you spread his cheeks with that same hand and used the other to prep his hole. you gently spread the substance around, making matt hiss and arch at the coldness. your fingers circulated his tight skin before plunging the index in. squelching sounds came from the tight fit you had to make. his hole clenched around your finger as he moaned out at the insertion. you watched his body as you fingered him, searching for signs of discomfort. “you’re so tight baby, how am i gonna fit inside you?” you tease.

his body tensed at the sentence and at the fact that you might not be able to fuck him if he was so tight. his head shot up as he got deeper into his thoughts, he could and would take you, matt was determined to defend himself now. “jus’ gotta stretch me out please don’t say that” he begged. you took his words seriously and began massaging your middle finger around his hole as you prepared to insert it. two fingers are enough to stretch, right? 

with one finger already inside, he started to loosen up. his rim wasn’t fighting your digits anymore, instead welcoming them. your second finger slid in effortlessly, not having to go halfway like you did the first. with both your index and middle inside you began to curl them upwards. aiming to get as close to his prostate as you could without hurting him. you built up a pace as your fingers slid in and out. matt’s body jerked against the bed as you fingered him. he was getting that full feeling just from your fingers. his muffled moans and whines rang in your ears as you pleasured him. he turned his head to the side so you could hear him clearly as he begged for you to start fucking him. “please ‘m ready i need you so bad”

“easy now, we have all night” you tried to warn, selfishly. you just wanted to spend a little more time playing with him. he was right though, he was ready and stretched out enough to take you fully. matt’s pink lips formed a pout as you denied him once again. you were taking your sweeeet time with him but he trusted you so he didn’t complain further. you flicked your wrist a few more times before pulling out fully. a pang of emptiness washed over him as you removed your digits, but he didn’t get to dwell over it for long. “all fours” you instruct. you weren’t fucking around anymore.

you wiped your lubed up fingers on his ass before he sat up. your action elicited an indescribable sound from him. upon your instructions he jumped up from his previous position and climbed on the soft bed. his feet almost hanging off the bed while he waited in the doggy position for you. you grabbed the toy by the straps from the right of matt, checking him out a little as you reached. your stocking clad feet stepped into the straps like you were putting on pants. you brought the black material up until it didn't budge anymore, the straps fit snug over your clothed pussy and waist.

matt waited ever so patiently as you attached the strap to your lower half. even though he was facing the opposite direction he still knew what you were doing. the sounds of the objects moving helping tremendously. the cap popped off of the bottle like before letting him know your next moves. you smothered the head in cold lubricant, the small drop you applied going a long way.

you threw the bottle on the dresser before stepping closer to the bed, tip almost lining up perfectly with matt's ass. you placed a hand on the small of his back and pushed slightly. perfecting his arch and planting his body how you needed it. your other hand gave quick strokes to the silicon, ensuring it was fully covered and slippery. matt's arch was good enough for you to slide in now. you removed the hand from his back and attached it to his side.

a small yelp was heard as you grooved into matt. the tip was barely in and matt was reeling already. his wet hair fell in front of his face as his head drooped down. with a nod, you continued to push past his rim and eventually fully into him. once inside you stilled any movements. letting him adjust to the real fullness, not just two fingers. matt finally was able to let out a sound after having his jaw agape for so long. he let out a grunt as he made slight movements around the strap.

you patted his side as you waited for him to give you a sign of readiness. even though he was eager as ever you never wanted to hurt him. and him not being prepared would do exactly that. "move please" matt groaned. your gentle touch turned into a tight grip on his hips as you gave your first thrust. he kept the arch you gave him and went forward at your hips meeting his ass for the first but not last time tonight.

you pulled back just until the tip only was inside him then gave a rougher push of your hips. the silicon slid in and out of him just right. matt's hands tangled in the bed sheets to prevent him from screaming out. the toy just stretched him so good. his moans of pleasure gave great encouragement as you fucked him. the louder he gets the harder your thrusts get.

the slow pace you had was driving him insane, you were supposed to be ruining him and his makeup. this pace wasn't gonna bring him to tears of pleasure. matt knew you were playing with him again, making him ask for everything. he mustered up the courage to ask for more. "harder please i can handle it" he urged. your grip got impossibly tighter and you gave him one last soft thrust. "don't wanna hear a word of complaint got it?"

you didn't wait for a response and began drilling your hips into his ass. his body wobbled from the fervor of your motions. the slapping of skin bounced of the walls of the steamy room. his hard cock smacked against his thigh while you pounded into him. the symphony of the mixed moans, groans, and grunts combined with the slapping. "this what you wanted, yeah?" you hissed, movements never slowing.

matt couldn't even reply if he wanted to. the way you were fucking him was too much. the tears welled up in his waterline as the thrusts got rougher if even possible. you smiled at his silence, knowing the strap rendered him speechless.

you continued to relentlessly drive your hips into him. one in particular hit his sweet spot. matt let out a cry at the contact and seconds later the waterworks came falling. disgruntled noises came from the boy under you. overwhelming spurts of pleasure were pulsing through his spent body. black droplets of tears stained his face and the comforters under him. his sniffles joined the various sounds in the room.

even though he was crying matt never wanted you to halt your movements. feeling his orgasm creep up matt snaked a hand around his cock. he needed that extra push to come crashing down fully. you hips continuously snapped and matt tried to match your speed on his cock, jerking it agressively. you watched as he clenched around the silicon and knew he was gonna cum soon "oh-oh fuck m close please" matt rushed out.

you slowed down and opted on going deeper rather than faster. matt squirmed at the change of pace but nevertheless kept touching himself to the rhythm you had before. you observed how he stroked himself to give him the stimulation he needed to finish. his moans got louder and with one last stroke from him and the last few deep thrusts he was done for "cumming please—ah" he warned at last minute

your hands caressed him as he spilled his milky cum all over his thighs, hands, and the sheets. matt cried and moaned at the same time from the blistering orgasm he just experienced. you saw his struggle to stay in doggy and pulled out before he collapsed onto the bed, stepped out of the removed the strap on from your sweaty body. you sat at the edge of the bed and waited for him to come down from his current state, not wanting to overwhelm him with clinginess.

matt crawl-limped over to you, silently letting you know he was alright and wanted cuddles now. you opened your arms to his sweaty body and he took his place in between your thighs. "without all that makeup covering your eyes, you look a lot like my boyfriend, mr wayne"

[reidmarieprentiss]

Breaking Point

Summary: Spencer has a partner, his partner is not necessarily a great person. You really just want to connect with him, he is your roommate, Penelope's, friend after all. But Spencer just does not seem to like you, can you change that?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff, angst

Warnings/Includes: Spencer has a partner, implied bisexual Spencer, non-graphic cheating, emotionally distant partner, controlling partner, Spencer is sassy and kind of mean, mention of Spencer's drug problem, insecurities

Word count: 14.6k

a/n: i know i can treat you better than they cannnnn -- happy one day early post !!!!

main masterlist part two

The evening was typical for you—a night out with the team at one of their usual spots, a lively bar that served as the backdrop for many of their post-case celebrations. You were perched on a high stool at the bar, sipping on a cocktail Penelope, your roommate, had insisted you try, something bright and fruity with just the right amount of sweetness. The music was loud enough to make conversation a bit challenging, but not so much that it drowned everyone out.

You leaned back slightly, your eyes casually scanning the room. Derek was engaged in a playful argument with JJ about some obscure movie reference, and Rossi was deep in conversation with Hotch. Everyone seemed relaxed, their faces lit with the glow of well-deserved downtime.

But then, something caught your eye—a flash of movement at the other end of the bar. Spencer, the quiet and reserved member of the team who had always been somewhat of a mystery to you, was engaged in what looked like a rather intense conversation with someone you didn’t recognize. The contrast between Spencer’s usual timid demeanor and the animated gestures he was making now piqued your curiosity.

You leaned closer to Penelope, who was sitting beside you, tapping away on her phone as usual, her fingers a blur of activity. "Who’s that?" you asked, nodding toward Spencer and the unknown person.

Penelope glanced up from her screen, following your gaze, and immediately sighed, rolling her eyes in a way that suggested this was a scene she had witnessed more times than she cared to count. "That’s Eli," she said, the name laced with a tone that was hard to miss. "Spencer’s partner."

Your eyes widened in surprise. "Spencer has a partner?" The revelation blew your mind. You'd known the team for over a year, seen and been seen in all sorts of situations—some more embarrassing than others—and not once had Spencer ever mentioned having a partner. It was like discovering a hidden chapter in a book you thought you knew well.

Penelope gave you a knowing look, her lips pressing together as if she were debating whether or not to continue. You nudged her lightly, urging her on. "What is it? You can’t just leave me hanging."

She sighed again, this time more softly, and leaned in closer so that only you could hear. "It just doesn’t seem like they’re very happy together, you know? They always seem to be arguing about something or other. I don't think I’ve ever seen them have a normal conversation."

You turned your attention back to Spencer and Eli, who were still deep in conversation—if you could even call it that. From where you were sitting, it looked more like Eli was doing most of the talking, their tone sharp, while Spencer listened, his face a mask of confusion and quiet frustration.

"Why does he stay with them if they’re so unhappy?" you asked, the question slipping out before you could stop it. 

Penelope shrugged, taking a sip of her drink before responding. "Spencer's complicated, you know? I think part of him feels…responsible or something. Like he has to make it work, even if it’s not working."

You nodded, still watching the exchange between Spencer and Eli, feeling a strange mix of emotions. Part of you was shocked that Spencer, someone who always seemed so put-together, was caught up in a relationship that didn’t seem to bring him any joy. And another part of you, the part that had always felt a bit of an inexplicable attachment to him, felt a pang of something else—something almost like protectiveness.

"I never would’ve guessed," you murmured, more to yourself than to Penelope. 

"Yeah, well," Penelope replied, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness. "There’s a lot about Spencer that’s easy to miss if you’re not looking closely."

As the night wore on, you couldn't help but keep glancing in Spencer's direction, wondering what else you might have missed about him over the past year. The more you thought about it, the more you realized how little you actually knew about the man who had somehow managed to become both a puzzle and an enigma in your life.

—

You’re not sure what brought on this new damn near obsession with Spencer Reid, but ever since you found out about him having a partner, you’ve been thinking about him differently. It was as if knowing he was capable of being in a relationship made you want to be the one who showed him what a healthy one looks like. The thought had wormed its way into your mind and now, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop thinking about him in your daily life. 

Whether you were at work, at home, or out with friends, your thoughts always seemed to drift back to Spencer—his quiet demeanor, the way he fiddled with his hands when he was nervous, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something he was passionate about. You found yourself daydreaming about what it would be like to be the one who made him smile, the one who could take away the stress you’d seen him carry.

Weeks passed, and you tried to push these thoughts to the back of your mind, but they always crept back in. So when Penelope proposed a night at Rossi’s, you jumped at the opportunity, hoping that maybe being around him might help you understand why you were feeling this way.

When you arrived at Rossi’s, the place was buzzing with laughter and conversation. Penelope was already engaged in a lively discussion with Derek and JJ, and Rossi was busy pouring drinks for everyone. As you scanned the room, your eyes landed on Spencer, standing off to the side, a drink in hand. He was alone—no Eli in sight.

Your heart skipped a beat, and before you knew it, you were making your way over to him, driven by an urge to finally talk to him alone. Maybe this was your chance to get to know him better, to bridge the gap that had always seemed to exist between you two.

“Hey, Spencer,” you greeted, nudging your elbow gently against his as you walked up next to him.

“Oh, hi, Y/N,” he replied, his voice carrying a hint of confusion as he looked at you. It was as if he wasn’t quite sure why you had come over.

“How are you?” you asked, trying to sound casual, though your heart was beating a little faster than you’d like to admit.

“Fine, thanks,” he nodded, his gaze drifting away from you almost immediately. “And you?”

“I’m great, thank you!” you answered with a smile, hoping to ease the tension that seemed to hang in the air between you.

But Spencer didn’t reply. Instead, he stood there, clearly feeling awkward, his eyes focused on some distant point in the room. You bit your lip, trying to think of something else to say, something that might spark a real conversation.

“So…I didn’t know you were seeing someone,” you ventured, letting out a small, nervous laugh, hoping to lighten the mood.

At that, Spencer stiffened. He finally turned to look at you, his expression hardening in a way that caught you off guard. “Well, you don’t really know me, do you?” he said, his tone colder than you’d ever heard it before.

“What?” you asked, taken aback by his sudden shift in demeanor. The sharpness in his voice sent a jolt through you, making you feel like you’d stepped onto thin ice without realizing it.

But he didn’t stop there. “You don’t know me at all, Y/N,” he continued, his voice carrying an edge of bitterness as he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Why would you be privy to intimate details of my life?”

The words hit you like a slap in the face, and you stood there, stunned and at a loss for words. “Oh—I don’t know, I’m sorry,” you stuttered, your confidence crumbling as you tried to process what had just happened. You had expected many things from this conversation, but this level of hostility wasn’t one of them.

“Yeah, okay,” Spencer muttered, a bitter laugh escaping his lips as he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving you standing there, violently confused.

You watched him retreat, your mind racing to understand what had just happened. The warmth and excitement you had felt moments ago were now replaced by a cold, sinking feeling in your chest. What had you done wrong? Why had he reacted that way?

As you stood there, the lively chatter and laughter of the party continued around you, but it all felt distant, muffled. All you could think about was Spencer’s harsh words, and the way he had looked at you—like you were a stranger, like you had crossed a line you didn’t even know existed.

“Hey mama, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. You good?” Derek’s deep, familiar voice cut through the fog of your thoughts, grounding you back in the present. 

You blinked a few times, forcing a smile onto your face as you turned to face Derek. “Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” you replied, doing your best to sound convincing. “It’s good to see you!”

Derek didn’t seem entirely convinced, his brow furrowing slightly as he studied you, but he didn’t press further. Instead, he smiled back, his usual warmth returning as he pulled you into a quick hug. “Good to see you too, girl. Let’s get you back in the spirit of the night, huh?”

You nodded, grateful for his easy going nature as you allowed yourself to be swept back into the flow of the evening. Derek had a way of making everything feel a little lighter, and as the two of you rejoined the group, you found yourself easing back into the laughter and conversation around you. It wasn’t hard to get caught up in the fun, especially with Penelope’s infectious energy and Rossi’s endless supply of stories.

But no matter how much you tried to focus on the good vibes of the night, there was a nagging thought at the back of your mind—a quiet, persistent echo of your brief and bewildering interaction with Spencer. You couldn’t shake the image of his face, the sudden hardness in his eyes, and the way his tone had shifted so drastically from the Spencer you thought you knew.

You stole a glance across the room, where Spencer was now engaged in a conversation with JJ, his expression relaxed, his laughter genuine. It was as if nothing had happened at all, as if your exchange just moments earlier hadn’t rattled you to your core.

The contrast was jarring, and it left you feeling even more confused. How could he seem so unaffected, so nonchalant, after what had just transpired? It was like the sweet, shy man you’d come to know had been ripped away in an instant, replaced by someone who was colder, more distant, and completely unreadable.

You couldn’t help but wonder what you had done wrong, why such an innocent question had triggered such a reaction from him. It was just one question—one that, in hindsight, seemed harmless. And yet, his response had been anything but.

“Hey, earth to Y/N,” Derek’s voice snapped you back again, this time with a playful nudge. “Where’d you go just now? I was asking if you wanted another drink.”

You blinked, realizing you had zoned out again. “Oh, sorry! Yeah, I could use another one,” you said, offering him another smile. This time, you meant it. Maybe another drink would help you forget the odd tension for a little while, help you push Spencer out of your mind.

—

That night, as the evening began to wind down, you noticed Spencer slipping out quietly after saying his goodbyes to everyone but you. A pang of something—hurt, maybe?—struck you as you watched him head toward the front door, his figure receding into the night. You tried to brush it off, telling yourself it was just the lingering awkwardness from earlier, nothing more.

But then you noticed something out of place—Spencer had left his satchel behind, the one he always carried with him, filled with books, notes, and who knows what else. Without thinking, you grabbed it and rushed out the door after him, your heart pounding with adrenaline and the hope of another chance to talk.

“Spencer! Wait!” you called out, your voice echoing in the cool night air as you ran down the driveway, the gravel crunching under your feet.

Spencer, already halfway into the passenger seat of the car, paused at the sound of your voice. He looked back over his shoulder, his expression immediately shifting to one of mild annoyance when he realized it was you. For a brief moment, you wondered if he was hoping it would be anyone else but you.

“You left your bag,” you panted, holding it up as you caught up to him.

“Oh,” he replied, his tone flat, his eyes glancing at the bag as if it was the last thing on his mind. “Thanks,” Spencer added, his voice barely above a mumble as he took the satchel from your hands. 

You forced a smile, trying to ignore the awkward tension hanging between you. But just as you were about to wish him a good night, your eyes shifted to the driver’s seat where Eli was sitting, glaring at you with a cold, suspicious gaze that sent a shiver down your spine. The intensity of their stare made you falter, your words catching in your throat.

“Have a good ni—” you started, but before you could finish, Eli’s hand jerked the car into gear, and the tires screeched against the pavement as they peeled out of the driveway. The door barely had time to close behind Spencer before they were speeding off into the night.

You stood there, breathless and confused, watching the taillights disappear down the road. The cold night air seemed to wrap around you, a stark contrast to the warmth that had filled Rossi’s home just minutes ago.

You couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling that had settled deep in your chest. The way Spencer had looked at you, the way Eli had glared, the way the car had sped off as if they couldn’t wait to leave you behind—it all left you feeling more out of sorts than ever.

—

The next time you saw Spencer, it was completely by accident. You were excitedly attending the grand opening of a vintage bookstore that had been on your calendar for months. The store was rumored to have an original copy of Pride and Prejudice, and you were determined to get your hands on it. As you approached the entrance, ready to join the line that had already started forming, a tall, familiar figure caught your eye.

Spencer was standing off to the side, hunched in on himself as he spoke into his phone. His posture was tense, and his voice, though hushed, carried a tone of desperation and frustration that made you slow your steps.

“—you said you would be here! You know how important this is to me…” His voice wavered, and he paused, listening to whoever was on the other end of the line.

Your heart ached as you watched him, his expression filled with hurt and disappointment. His next words were spoken with an urgency that tugged at something deep inside you.

“I went to your comicon, waited all night in line to get a video game for you, and I did that…thing! This morning, remember?”

You couldn’t hear what Eli was saying, but from the look on Spencer’s face, it was clear that whatever it was, it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. You could hear the strain in his voice, the way it shook as he tried to hold back his emotions.

“Eli,” Spencer sighed, the sound so full of defeat that it nearly broke your heart. He sounded like he was on the verge of tears. “I never ask you to do anything…it does matter! It’s not stupid…okay. Yeah. Bye. Love you too.”

As he ended the call, you watched as he put his phone in his pocket, his shoulders slumping as he sniffled, clearly trying to compose himself. The vulnerability in his posture made you want to reach out, to comfort him, to tell him that he deserved so much better than this.

But before he could see you, you quickly made your way past him and into the line, your heart racing. You didn’t want to embarrass him by acknowledging what you had overheard. It felt too private, too raw, and you knew that if the roles were reversed, you wouldn’t want someone to witness such a moment of weakness.

Little did you know that Spencer had seen you walk by, his heart sinking further as he realized you might have heard his conversation. The idea of you knowing how he couldn’t even get his partner to come to a bookstore—a place that meant so much to him—was mortifying. It was bad enough that Eli had chosen to watch football with their friends instead of joining him, but the thought of you knowing about it only added to his embarrassment.

Spencer fell into line a few people behind you, trying to shake off the lingering feelings of rejection. He wished that the rift between you two didn’t exist, especially on a day like today. The thought of walking through the store with someone, discussing books, sharing little discoveries, was something that would have brought him immense joy. But now, with the awkwardness hanging between you like a thick fog, he knew it wasn’t possible.

As the line moved forward, you tried to focus on the excitement of the bookstore’s opening, but you couldn’t help but steal glances back at Spencer. He looked so alone, so isolated, and it made your chest tighten with an emotion you didn’t quite want to name. The bookstore should have been a place of happiness for him, but all you could see was the shadow of his disappointment.

You had managed to find the original Pride and Prejudice that you wanted, and your heart felt so full it was almost overwhelming. This book meant the world to you, bringing back memories of your grandmother reading it to you when you were sick as a child. The familiar scent of old pages and the sight of the worn, delicate cover brought a lump to your throat, but it was the good kind, the kind of feeling that reminded you of warmth and love.

As you clutched the book to your chest, savoring the moment, a voice came from behind you, pulling you out of your reverie. “Great choice, I can’t believe they have an original.”

You turned, surprised, to see a very attractive stranger standing there. They had strikingly beautiful eyes that seemed to draw you in, making you momentarily forget where you were. “Yeah, it’s my favorite,” you replied with a bright smile. “I’m so glad I was able to get it.”

“Shane,” they offered, extending their hand with an easy, confident smile. “Nice to meet you.”

You took their hand, feeling a pleasant warmth from the gesture. “Y/N,” you said, your smile widening. “Nice to meet you too.”

The conversation flowed effortlessly after that. You and Shane chatted about literature, the excitement of the new bookstore, and your mutual love for classic novels. Their enthusiasm for books mirrored your own, and you found yourself enjoying the banter, feeling a sense of connection with this person you’d just met.

What you didn’t realize was that Spencer was watching from afar, his heart twisting in knots as he observed how easily you interacted with new people. It was something he envied—how naturally you navigated social situations, how the friendly vibes seemed to radiate off you in waves. Anyone could see how nice you were, how approachable, and it only made him more aware of the tension that had built up between the two of you.

He wished things could have gotten off to a better start between you. But every time he thought about trying to fix things, that cold interaction from the other night lingered in his mind, making him think it was too late. And now, seeing you so effortlessly connect with someone else, someone who had already made you smile, only deepened the pang of jealousy in his chest.

As you made your way to the register, Shane walked with you, continuing the conversation. Just before you reached the counter, Shane asked, “Hey, would it be okay if I got your number? I’d love to keep talking about books and maybe grab a coffee sometime.”

You smiled, feeling flattered by the request. “Sure, I’d like that.” You exchanged numbers, feeling a small flutter of excitement as you parted ways with Shane.

Meanwhile, Spencer watched from a distance, the jealousy tightening its grip. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the effortless way in which you interacted with others, or if it was the fact that someone else had gotten your number so easily—something he knew he could never have done. Either way, the feeling gnawed at him, making him feel even more isolated than before.

When it was your turn to pay, you glanced back and noticed Spencer standing behind you in line. His eyes were downcast, his expression unreadable, but you remembered how upset he had been earlier. Knowing he was having a bad day and sensing the awkward vibes that had developed between the two of you, you decided to do something small to brighten his day.

Leaning in to the cashier, you whispered, “Could you estimate how much his books would cost?”

The cashier smiled and nodded, quickly scanning the stack of books in Spencer’s hands with their eyes. They told you the amount, and you quietly pulled out your bills, paying for Spencer’s purchases along with your own. Without saying a word to him, you took your bag and left the store, hoping that this small act of kindness might bring a bit of light into his day.

As Spencer approached the counter, still lost in his thoughts, the cashier smiled warmly at him. “You’re all set, sir. The woman in front of you already paid for your books.”

Spencer blinked, momentarily stunned. “She… she did what?” he asked, his voice filled with disbelief.

The cashier nodded, still smiling. “She paid for everything. Said she hoped you’d have a good day.”

Spencer stood there, dumbfounded, holding the bag of books as if it were the most precious thing in the world. His mind raced, trying to make sense of why you would do something so kind for him when he had been nothing but cold to you since you met. The memory of your most recent awkward exchange at Rossi’s house replayed in his head, and guilt washed over him like a tidal wave.

Why would you do such a kind thing? He didn’t deserve it, not after the way he had treated you. And yet, you had done it anyway, without a word, without expecting anything in return.

As Spencer left the store, the bag of books clutched in his hand, he was overwhelmed by a mix of gratitude, guilt, and a growing sense of something missing. He’d had doubts about his relationship with Eli before, but he had always convinced himself that this was just how relationships were—messy and full of compromises.

But after seeing your kindness and how effortlessly you connected with others, Spencer couldn’t help but wonder if he was missing out on something better. For the first time, he questioned whether he deserved more than what he had settled for with Eli. Your simple act of paying for his books had cracked open a door in his mind, making him realize that maybe there was a different, happier path he could take—one that might even include someone like you.

—

When Spencer walked into the bullpen that Monday, he immediately noticed Penelope animatedly talking with Derek and Emily. The moment she heard someone enter, her eyes lit up as she saw him.

“Reid!” she exclaimed with her usual enthusiasm.

Spencer couldn’t help but smile as he walked over to her instead of heading straight to his desk. “What’s up?” he asked, his tone light and amused.

“Look!” Penelope gushed, thrusting a book into his hands with excitement.

Spencer glanced down, recognizing the book instantly—it was a first edition of a title he knew Penelope loved. His eyes widened in genuine awe. “Wow! Where did you find this?” he asked, marveling at the rare find.

Penelope sighed happily, clutching her hands to her heart. “Y/N got it for me! I couldn’t make it to the new bookstore, and she knew how sad I was, so she bought this to cheer me up!”

Spencer processed this new piece of information, feeling a warmth spread through him. Of course you did, he thought to himself, you’re the nicest person ever. “That’s… that’s really great, Garcia,” he said with a sincere smile.

“Isn’t she just the sweetest?” Penelope beamed, taking the book back and staring at it as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

Derek chuckled, adding, “Yeah, mama. That girl is a gem. I’m glad someone is treating you good when I’m not around.”

Spencer nodded, his mind lingering on you. It was just another reminder of the kind of person you were, and it made him think even more about what he might be missing out on.

"Something brewing in that big brain?" Emily teased, noticing Spencer had gone quiet, his thoughts clearly elsewhere.

"Hmm?" Spencer responded, looking up at her, momentarily pulled from his reverie.

"Are you okay, Reid?" she tried again, her voice tinged with concern.

Spencer shifted uncomfortably under the weight of their stares. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just... haven't had my coffee yet," he replied, forcing a tight-lipped smile.

Derek chuckled, sensing Spencer's discomfort. "Rossi just made a new pot. I'll go grab a cup with you, pretty boy."

Spencer nodded gratefully as the two men headed to the breakroom, which was mostly empty, save for a few agents from other departments who were too engrossed in their own conversations to pay them any mind.

"Do anything fun this weekend?" Derek asked casually as he started making his coffee, glancing over at Spencer with a curious look.

Spencer allowed himself a small smile as he replied, "Yeah, I went to that new bookstore. They had their grand opening."

Derek thought for a moment, then asked, "Did you see Y/N there?"

Spencer's hand froze mid-stir, his expression faltering. "Oh, uh, no," he said, clearing his throat awkwardly, clearly caught off guard by the question.

Derek narrowed his eyes, not missing the way Spencer suddenly seemed on edge. "Alright, spit it out, kid," he pressed, sensing there was more to the story.

"Spit what out?" Spencer sassed, attempting to deflect, but his tone lacked conviction.

Derek just sighed, giving him a look that said, Don't bullshit me. "I've noticed you don't necessarily... enjoy Y/N's company. Did you run into her? Was it weird?"

Spencer let out a sigh, knowing there was no point in trying to hide it from Derek. "Yeah, I saw her," he admitted quietly, his gaze dropping to the floor. "But it wasn't weird. I mean, not exactly. It’s just... complicated."

Derek raised an eyebrow, waiting for Spencer to continue. "Complicated how?"

Spencer hesitated, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I think she might have overheard me on the phone with Eli... They were supposed to come with me to the bookstore, but they didn’t. I was upset," Spencer shrugged, trying to downplay the hurt in his voice.

Derek softened his gaze, sensing the vulnerability in Spencer’s words. "I’m sorry, man. Did they give a good reason?"

Spencer shrugged again, his eyes welling up as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "Um, they said they needed to watch the football game. Something to do with the fantasy league they’re in."

Derek rolled his eyes, his frustration evident. "That is not a good reason. Eli should have known this was important to you."

Spencer cleared his throat, staring intently at his coffee, willing the tears not to fall. "They knew... I don’t know if they cared."

"Reid..." Derek began, his voice gentle, but Spencer quickly waved his hand, cutting him off.

"No, no. It’s fine—we talked about it," Spencer said, his voice wavering but firm, clearly wanting to move past the topic.

Seeing that Spencer didn’t want to delve deeper into the matter, Derek decided to let it go for now, though he still hadn’t gotten the answer to his earlier question. "What does that have to do with Y/N?"

Spencer sighed heavily, the weight of his embarrassment pressing down on him. "She was walking past during the end of the call. I think she might have heard me, but she was too polite to say anything. I don’t know… I’m just embarrassed. My own partner wouldn’t show up to something that important to me, and she probably heard how pathetic that sounded."

Derek frowned, his heart going out to his friend. "You’re not pathetic, Reid. You’ve just been dealt a rough hand. And Y/N… well, she’s not the kind of person to judge you for that. If anything, she probably feels bad that you were hurt."

Spencer nodded, though the shame still lingered. "Yeah, maybe. It’s just hard, you know? I don’t want her—or anyone—to see me like that."

Derek gave him a reassuring pat on the back. "I get it, man. But Y/N… she’s good people. Maybe talking to her might help, even if it’s just to clear the air."

Spencer considered Derek’s words, the idea of reaching out to you both comforting and terrifying. But deep down, he knew Derek was right. It wasn’t too late to make things right, and maybe—just maybe—you’d be the understanding ear he desperately needed.

After parting ways with Derek, Spencer realized he’d forgotten to mention how you had quietly paid for his books at the bookstore. Wrapped up in the emotions of their conversation, it had slipped his mind. But as he returned to his desk, the memory resurfaced, and he found himself holding onto it like a cherished secret.

Spencer wanted to keep that moment to himself, a private reminder of your kindness. It had meant more to him than words could express, especially in a time when he often felt overlooked. Your simple act of generosity was a bright spot, making him feel seen and cared for in a way he rarely experienced.

—

Thursday evening marked your first date with Shane, and it was everything you had hoped for. They had called earlier in the week to make plans, and you were excited to have someone showing genuine interest and making an effort. Penelope had eagerly offered to help you get ready, her expertise in all things beauty proving invaluable.

"Pen, you’re seriously the best," you gushed as she applied the finishing touches to your look. "I don’t know what I’d do without you."

Penelope giggled, her eyes twinkling. "Probably show up looking a lot less flamboyant!"

"And we would not want that," you teased with a smile, savoring every moment of girl time with your roommate and best friend.

When Shane arrived to pick you up, they were the epitome of courteousness—opening doors, pulling out your chair, and keeping the conversation lively throughout the evening. It was an amazing first date, made even better by Shane’s undeniable attractiveness. You enjoyed yourself thoroughly, feeling a spark of excitement about where this could lead.

Meanwhile, across the restaurant, Spencer sat at a table with Eli, his view of you unobstructed. What should have been a special anniversary dinner had been overshadowed by the effort it took to even get Eli to agree to go out. Spencer had to beg them to celebrate, with Eli initially resisting, claiming they didn’t want to spend the money. Spencer had insisted it was worth it, that their relationship was worth celebrating. Eli eventually caved, but only because they didn’t want Spencer to start crying—again.

As Spencer watched you laugh and smile with Shane, he felt a sharp pang in his chest, the desire to drown his sorrows in a bottle of wine nearly overwhelming. The contrast between your joyous date and his own crumbling relationship was stark. Eli sat across from him, more interested in checking their fantasy football league stats than in engaging with him.

Of course, you would go on a date with the attractive person from the bookstore. In Spencer’s eyes, they were everything he wasn’t. It made sense that you’d find happiness with someone like that, while he watched his own chances at joy slip further away. It was just another reminder that good things, happiness, were always just out of reach for him. As he sat there, barely holding back his tears, he couldn’t help but feel the weight of his own choices, the realization that he had pushed away someone who might have brought him the kind of happiness he saw reflected in your smile from across the room.

After Shane paid the bill for your dinner, causing you to swoon at the kind gesture, the two of you walked toward the exit, Shane’s hand resting intimately on your lower back. As you passed by Spencer's table, you couldn’t resist saying hello, the expensive wine Shane had ordered loosening your tongue.

“Spencer! Hi!” you greeted excitedly, your smile wide.

Spencer looked up at you, clearly caught off guard, his expression quickly shifting to a polite smile. “Hello,” he replied, trying to mask his surprise.

“What are you doing here? Is this Eli?” You turned to the person sitting across from him, offering a warm smile.

Eli, however, gave you a cold, sinister look. “Wow, beauty and brains, what a catch,” they remarked snidely, directing their comment at Shane.

The sarcasm completely flew over your head, and you responded cheerfully, “I think you’re pretty too! It’s so nice to meet you, and Spencer, so good to see you! Bye!” You gave a little wave, before taking Shane’s hand and dragging them toward the car, their laughter following behind you. Shane, having had much less to drink, simply smiled, amused by your tipsy enthusiasm.

As soon as you were out of earshot, Spencer grew even more quiet, while Eli’s anger simmered, their face contorting with irritation.

“What the fuck was that?” Eli asked, their voice low and venomous.

Spencer’s head snapped up, startled by the harshness in Eli’s tone. “What? Y/N? She’s drunk,” he replied, trying to defuse the situation, though he felt increasingly uncomfortable under Eli’s glare.

“No shit, Spencer,” Eli scoffed, rolling their eyes with frustration. “But why did they say hi to you?”

Spencer fumbled for an explanation, feeling cornered. “Umm… I guess we’re kind of friends by association?” he offered, his words uncertain, as even he wasn’t sure how to define your relationship.

Eli’s eyes narrowed, their anger intensifying. “I told you not to talk to her. I asked you to do one fucking thing in this relationship—how hard is it to not talk to some dumb bimbo?” they snarled.

Spencer shrank in his seat, feeling like a scolded child. His embarrassment was palpable as he tried to explain, “I can’t help that she’s Penelope’s roommate. I like to be civil.”

“Civil, sure,” Eli spat, their tone dripping with contempt. “But I’m serious, Spencer. Don’t. Fucking. Talk to her.”

Spencer sat there, shrinking further under Eli’s gaze, a sense of helplessness washing over him. The contrast between your cheerful, lighthearted demeanor and Eli’s seething anger left him feeling more isolated than ever. The joy you had shown in such a simple greeting only highlighted the growing chasm between him and his partner, making him question, yet again, why he was holding onto something that felt so toxic and damaging.

—

It was a few weeks before your paths crossed with Spencer again, and during that time, he couldn't help but wonder if Eli had somehow managed to keep you away from him. But today, here you were, standing in the bullpen with Penelope’s phone in hand, panting slightly from your rush to deliver it.

“Y/N! You’re a lifesaver!” Penelope cried out, pulling you into a tight hug.

You laughed, catching your breath. “I don’t even know how you made it out of the house without this thing, I thought it was attached to you!”

Derek and Emily joined in the laughter, clearly enjoying the interaction. “Baby girl was excited to come in today—they gave her a new monitor,” Derek teased, grinning.

“Ohh, show me!” you clapped your hands in excitement, your enthusiasm infectious.

As you followed Penelope to her office, you passed by Spencer’s desk, giving him a soft, “Hi, Spencer,” your voice low and warm.

But Spencer didn’t look up. He simply stared down at the file in front of him, his mind far from his work. Eli’s threat echoed in his head, reminding him that he couldn’t talk to you. The lack of response went unnoticed by everyone except for you and Emily.

After you disappeared into Penelope’s office, Emily walked over to Spencer’s desk, her expression concerned. “Reid…? Is something wrong?” she asked cautiously, her voice gentle.

Spencer looked up, shaking his head as if to brush off her concern. “No,” he replied curtly, but his tone was anything but reassuring.

Emily wasn’t convinced. “Okay, well, it’s just… you ignored Y/N pretty harshly. I think she was just trying to be nice.”

Spencer knew it was an overreaction, but the turmoil in his mind was overwhelming, clouding his judgment. He felt cornered, and before he could stop himself, he snapped, “Oh yeah, Emily? Is that what you think? I’m sure you’re right, seeing as you know everything.”

With that, he abruptly stood up, storming out of the bullpen, leaving Emily and Derek in stunned silence. 

Rossi, who had been quietly working at his desk nearby, looked up, his brow furrowed with concern as he fixed Emily and Derek with a questioning gaze. “Is he using again?” he asked, his voice heavy with worry.

“Fuck,” Derek muttered under his breath, quickly getting up to chase after Spencer, his heart pounding with fear and urgency. 

Emily exchanged a worried glance with Rossi, both of them hoping that whatever was going on with Spencer could be addressed before it spiraled out of control.

"Reid, wait up!" Derek called out as he watched Spencer stride quickly down the hall, his pace fueled by frustration and confusion. Spencer, too caught up in his thoughts, didn’t stop or even acknowledge Derek's voice. But Derek was determined, and he quickened his pace, finally catching up to Spencer and grabbing his arm, halting him in his tracks.

"Kid, I need you to tell me right here and now if you’re using again," Derek panted, his concern clear in his voice.

Spencer's face immediately morphed into one of shock and offense. "What? No! I’m clean," he replied, his tone defensive but honest.

Derek sighed deeply, relief flooding him. "Okay, thank God."

Spencer frowned, still reeling from the accusation. "Why would you think that?"

Derek looked at him intently. "Did you hear yourself just now? You were out of line with Prentiss. She was only trying to help."

Spencer let out a bitter laugh, the sound harsh and sharp. "Isn’t that what everyone wants to do? Help poor, defenseless Spencer," he said sarcastically. "Why can’t I ever just take care of myself?"

Derek gave him a sympathetic look, his concern deepening. "That’s not what I meant. I’m just worried about you. Is it more stuff with Eli?"

The mention of Eli’s name set Spencer off again, the anger bubbling back to the surface. "Christ, is there no privacy anymore?" he snapped, his voice tight with frustration.

Derek held up his hands in a placating gesture. "I’m not trying to invade your privacy, man. I just want to make sure you’re okay. You’ve been off lately, and I’m concerned. We all are."

Spencer’s shoulders slumped slightly, the weight of everything pressing down on him. "It’s… nothing, Derek."

Derek nodded, his tone softening. "It doesn’t seem like nothing, kid."

Spencer looked down, his voice small and almost defeated. "Can you just… stop being a big brother for a second?"

Derek’s expression softened even more as he asked gently, "Who do you want me to be?"

Spencer let out a weary sigh. "I don’t know… a wizard? Then maybe you could help me go back in time."

Derek started to ask, "Why do you need–" but before he could finish, his phone rang, the familiar tone signaling a new case. He glanced at the screen, then back at Spencer with a resigned look. "Time to go."

Spencer nodded, the moment slipping away as the reality of their work took precedence. But as they walked back toward the bullpen, Derek couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more going on beneath the surface—something that Spencer wasn’t ready to share yet.

—

When the team arrived back from the case, Spencer dreaded going home. He hadn't talked to Eli since the day they left, sending only a brief text to let them know he was heading out on a case and another just now to inform them he was back. But as usual, there were no messages waiting for him in return. Eli had done this before—the silent treatment. It was their way of letting Spencer know he had messed up, though the reason was often unclear until Eli decided to spell it out.

As Spencer approached his front door, the familiar feeling of anxiety settled in his chest. He knew what awaited him: the cold, silent disapproval from Eli, followed by the inevitable confrontation. It was why he was dreading going home, but there was no avoiding it.

When Spencer unlocked the front door, he was greeted by the sound of football blaring from the TV, and not much else. The usual signs of Eli’s presence—a drink on the coffee table, their shoes kicked off haphazardly—were all there, but the silence from Eli themselves was telling. 

He announced his presence quietly, hoping to gauge the mood before he ventured further into the house. Without much of a response, Spencer headed to the laundry room, deciding to busy himself with washing his clothes. It was a mundane task, but it gave him something to focus on, a way to delay the inevitable confrontation.

What Spencer wasn’t expecting was for Eli to suddenly come up behind him, wrapping their arms around his waist and kissing the back of his neck. The affectionate gesture caught him off guard.

“Hey, baby,” Eli whispered, their voice soft and intimate.

“He–hey, Eli,” Spencer stammered, unsure of how to respond. He couldn’t tell if this was going to lead to something good or if it was just a precursor to another argument.

“I missed you while you were gone,” Eli mumbled, their lips trailing across Spencer’s neck, planting gentle kisses along his skin.

“Yeah?” Spencer sighed, tilting his head slightly to give Eli more access, his body instinctively responding to the affection despite the uncertainty gnawing at him.

“Mhm, it’s so lonely here without you,” Eli murmured, continuing their gentle assault of kisses.

That evening, Spencer found himself in the company of a sweet, loving, and cherishing Eli. It was a side of his partner he didn’t see often, and he was left wondering what he had done to deserve this sudden tenderness. But instead of questioning it, he allowed himself to be swept up in the rare affection, choosing to savor the moment rather than dwell on the why.

For that night, at least, Spencer let himself believe that everything was okay, that maybe this time things would be different. Even if it was just for a little while, he wasn’t going to complain.

—

You got a mysterious text from Shane, asking if they could come over to talk. You agreed, of course, but a nervous feeling settled in your stomach. Things had been going really well between the two of you—multiple dates, kisses, and they had even met Penelope. But as you opened the door to let them in, you immediately sensed that this wasn’t going to be good news.

"Hey, Y/N," Shane greeted with a sigh, giving you a sad smile. "Can I come in?"

You opened the door wider and motioned for them to enter, trying to brace yourself for whatever was coming. The two of you sat in the chairs by the window, the tension palpable as you waited for Shane to speak.

"What’s up, Shane?" you asked cautiously, your heart already preparing for the worst.

Shane sighed again, scratching the back of their head, clearly uncomfortable. "Well, I really respect you, so I felt it was only fair to tell you face to face... that I met someone. Someone I want to pursue things with exclusively."

Your heart sank. Of course, the one genuine person you meet found someone better than you. "Oh," was all you could manage to say, the word barely escaping your lips as you processed the rejection.

"I’m sorry, Y/N," Shane continued, their expression full of pity. "You’re a lovely person, and I really enjoyed our time together. But I just—"

"You don’t have to explain," you interrupted, forcing a small, tight-lipped smile despite the ache building in your chest. "I get it."

Shane frowned, clearly feeling bad, but they didn’t push further. They stood, clearly sensing that it was time to leave. "I really do wish you the best, Y/N. You deserve someone amazing."

You nodded, but the words felt hollow in the space between you. After you closed the door behind them, you sank into your chair, the weight of disappointment settling heavily on your shoulders. You hadn’t expected this, and now you were left alone, wondering why this always seemed to happen—just when things seemed to be going well, they unraveled.

As you sat there, staring blankly out the window, the weight of the rejection settled deep into your chest. You tried to convince yourself that it wasn’t a big deal, that these things happen, but the familiar voice of self-doubt crept in, louder and sharper than ever. Of course they found someone better. Why wouldn’t they?

You couldn’t shake the feeling that it was always you—never enough, never quite the right fit. You replayed the last few weeks in your mind, analyzing every detail, every moment, searching for where you might have fallen short. Maybe you weren’t interesting enough, not exciting enough, not worth sticking around for. 

What if I’m just not the kind of person people choose? The thought gnawed at you, sinking deeper into your mind. Every small flaw, every insecurity felt magnified, and you couldn’t help but wonder if this was just how things would always be. Always second place. Always left behind.

—

Meanwhile, everything between Spencer and Eli seemed to improve dramatically. Eli was suddenly attentive in ways Spencer hadn’t experienced in a long time. They bought Spencer flowers, cooked him dinner, and even made an effort to engage in the things Spencer loved—whether it was sitting with him through documentaries or accompanying him on long walks through the city.

Spencer wasn’t sure what had sparked this radical change in Eli, but he didn’t dare question it. Part of him was afraid that if he asked, the magic would break, and everything would go back to the way it was before—the cold indifference, the emotional distance. For now, he clung to the fleeting happiness, allowing himself to believe that maybe this was the turning point he had been waiting for. 

But in the back of his mind, a quiet voice whispered that good things never lasted for him, and any moment, it could all disappear. He knew better than to get comfortable, but for now, he basked in the attention, unwilling to let go of this brief glimpse of a perfect relationship.

Eli had never been one for grand gestures, but lately, everything felt different. Spencer came home one evening to find a bouquet of brightly colored flowers on the kitchen table, their fragrance filling the room. 

"Hey, you’re home!" Eli called from the kitchen, a warm smile on their face as they stirred something on the stove. "I made your favorite—pasta with garlic bread. Thought you might like something comforting after your day."

Spencer blinked, his mind racing as he tried to process the shift. He set his bag down, cautiously approaching the flowers. "You… got these for me?" he asked, his voice soft, unsure.

Eli chuckled and walked over to him, wiping their hands on a dish towel before wrapping their arms around his waist. "Of course, I did. You deserve it, Spencie."

Spencer smiled, though his brow furrowed slightly in confusion. This wasn’t like Eli at all. "I… thank you. They’re beautiful." He leaned down to smell the flowers, a wave of warmth flooding him, but a lingering doubt hovered at the back of his mind.

Later that week, they were sitting together on the couch, something they rarely did. Eli had insisted on watching one of Spencer’s favorite documentaries, something about ancient civilizations that Spencer would usually watch alone.

"I never knew this stuff was so interesting," Eli commented, their head resting on Spencer’s shoulder. "Why didn’t you make me watch this with you sooner?"

Spencer looked down at them, unsure of how to respond. "I didn’t think it was really your thing," he admitted, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the fabric of Eli’s shirt. "You’ve never really… wanted to before."

Eli sat up slightly, turning to face Spencer, their hand coming to rest on his knee. "Well, I want to now," they said, smiling softly.

Spencer’s heart swelled at the words, but the confusion deepened. This was everything he had wanted from Eli for so long, but the sudden shift left him off-balance. Still, he wasn’t ready to question it—not when things were finally good. He forced himself to smile back, leaning in to kiss Eli’s forehead. 

"I appreciate that," he whispered, a hint of vulnerability in his voice. "I just…I’m happy."

Eli kissed him softly on the lips, pulling him closer. "I love you, Spencie," they murmured, their words sweet and tender. "And I want to make sure you know that."

Spencer wrapped his arms around them, his mind swirling with unanswered questions. He wanted to ask what had caused this change, what had made Eli suddenly decide to be the partner he had always hoped for. But the fear of losing this fleeting happiness kept him silent. He wasn’t ready to risk it all, not yet.

—

Penelope had been watching you closely for days, her eyes filled with concern. She knew something was wrong, but you had been keeping your walls up, retreating further into your sadness after things fell apart with Shane. Every attempt she made to drag you out of the apartment had been met with a firm, “I’m just not feeling up to it, Pen.”

But Penelope wasn’t one to give up so easily. "Come on, honey, you can’t just sit here and stew over that idiot forever," she urged, practically bouncing on her feet. "We need to go out, have some fun, and remind the world who the hell we are!"

"I don’t know…" you trailed off, glancing at the TV as though it had something to offer. But you knew it didn’t. You just didn’t have the energy.

"Y/N," Penelope said firmly, placing her hands on her hips, "I love you, but sitting in pajamas while watching reality shows for the third night in a row is not how we get over this. You are coming with me."

You sighed, knowing she wasn’t going to relent. "Fine," you groaned, finally giving in.

Penelope’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Yes! Shower, now. I’m doing your makeup, and we are going to paint the town red!"

It wasn’t long before she had you dolled up, feeling like a different version of yourself. The two of you hit the town with one goal: to get drunk and forget all about stupid people like Shane. JJ, Emily, and Derek met up with you at the bar, and soon you were all dancing up a storm. The music, the energy, and the friends surrounding you were doing exactly what Penelope had intended—they were lifting you out of your funk.

You loved the attention you were getting, and it was absolutely helping you feel better about everything that had happened. The compliments, the laughs, the warmth of your friends—it was like a balm to the hurt you had been carrying.

After a while, you started feeling parched from all the dancing, so you drifted away from the group to grab some water at the bar. As you reached the counter, you bumped into someone.

"Oh, I’m sorry," you yelped, turning quickly to see who it was you’d run into.

To your surprise, the body turned around, and there, standing in front of you, was Eli. Your stomach dropped slightly, expecting some snide remark, a cutting comment like the ones you’d heard before.

But instead, Eli let out a light laugh. "No problem!" they said with a smile, their tone unusually friendly.

You blinked, taken aback by the unexpected response. Even Spencer, standing next to Eli, looked just as surprised, his brow furrowed slightly at Eli’s easygoing attitude toward you.

"Uh… thanks," you said, forcing a polite smile, still not entirely sure what to make of the encounter.

Eli nodded, still smiling, before turning back to their drink, leaving you standing there, feeling slightly bewildered. You couldn’t help but glance at Spencer, who gave you a small, almost apologetic smile, as if to acknowledge how strange the moment had been.

The interaction left you feeling a bit off-kilter, but as you grabbed your water and headed back to the dance floor, you pushed the weirdness aside. Tonight was about you, about having fun and moving on. Whatever Eli’s sudden kindness meant, you weren’t going to let it throw you off track.

Soon, you couldn’t just brush off the strange interaction because, much to your surprise, Spencer and Eli joined the rest of you on the dance floor. It was a sight you hadn’t expected.

“Whoa, pretty boy! I didn’t think you’d show!” Derek cheered, clearly having invited Spencer without anyone else knowing.

Spencer gave a half-smile, looking awkward as he stood on the outskirts of the group. “Yeah, uh… Eli thought it would be fun,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, his discomfort obvious.

“Well, loosen up, genius!” Emily called out, playfully nudging him. “We’re here to have fun.”

Eli, however, had no problem jumping right in, grabbing Spencer by the hips and guiding him into the rhythm of the music. Spencer’s movement was stilted, clearly uncomfortable with the attention, but Eli didn’t seem to mind, dancing all around him, their hands sliding over his shoulders and down his sides. The contrast between Spencer’s stiff posture and Eli’s free-spirited movements made for an interesting sight.

You tried to brush it off, but the more you watched, the more an odd sense of jealousy began to brew in your chest. It’s just because I’m newly single, you told yourself, trying to rationalize the pang of envy. But it didn’t feel that simple, and as you watched Eli spin Spencer with a grin, you couldn’t help but wonder why it bothered you so much.

Penelope noticed your mood shift immediately, her eyes following your gaze. She knew you too well, and it wasn’t long before she saw you slipping off the dance floor, making your way outside for some air. She wasn’t surprised at all—you needed a moment to clear your head.

What did surprise you, though, was when the door opened a few minutes later, and Spencer stepped out, his hands shoved into his pockets as he came to stand next to you. The cool night air felt refreshing against your heated skin, but Spencer’s presence made your heart race slightly, unsure of what to say or do.

Neither of you spoke for a moment, the silence hanging between you like a thread waiting to be pulled.

“You okay?” Spencer finally asked, his voice soft as he looked at you, the concern clear in his expression.

You shrugged, trying to keep your tone light despite the heaviness in your chest. “Yeah, just needed some air. It was getting a little... crowded in there.”

Spencer nodded, his gaze drifting down the street before returning to you. “Yeah, I get that,” he said quietly. He shifted his weight, looking almost as uncomfortable out here as he did on the dance floor.

You glanced over at him, curiosity tugging at you. “You don’t really seem like a club guy,” you said, half teasing.

Spencer chuckled awkwardly, his shoulders rising and falling in a small shrug. “I’m not,” he admitted. “I, uh, don’t really dance. Eli’s more into that.”

You nodded, watching him for a moment. There was something in his eyes—something that made you feel like he wasn’t entirely thrilled to be out here either.

“Eli seems really into it,” you said, testing the waters, unsure why you even brought it up.

Spencer’s smile faltered for a split second before he nodded again. “Yeah,” he replied, his voice quieter this time. He didn’t elaborate, and the silence between you grew, filled with unspoken thoughts and emotions that neither of you seemed ready to address.

After a moment, you decided to break the tension. “I didn’t expect to see you out tonight.”

Spencer chuckled softly, kicking at a loose pebble with his shoe. “I didn’t expect to be out, to be honest,” he admitted. “But, well... here I am.”

You smiled, feeling a strange connection in that shared sentiment. “Yeah, here we are.”

Spencer didn’t know why he followed you. Maybe it was the way you quietly slipped away from the group, or maybe it was something deeper—a feeling he couldn’t quite explain, like an invisible string pulling him after you. He had hesitated for a moment, glancing at Eli before deciding he needed to step outside.

“Hey, uh... is it okay if I step out for some air?” Spencer asked, trying to sound casual.

Eli’s eyes flickered toward the door, then back to him. “With Y/N?” they asked, their tone neutral, but it made Spencer catch his breath, suddenly nervous that Eli might get upset in front of everyone.

Spencer swallowed hard. “Is that... okay?” he asked tentatively, trying to gauge Eli’s reaction.

Eli’s face softened, a sweet smile forming as they nodded. “Yeah, Spencie! Go check on your friend.”

Relief washed over Spencer, though a small knot of confusion lingered. Eli’s sudden sweetness left him feeling a bit unsettled, but he didn’t question it. Instead, he gave a small smile in return before quietly making his way outside to join you.

As he stood next to you in the cool night air, the questions he had about Eli faded, replaced by an inexplicable need to be there with you, to share this quiet moment away from the chaos of the night.

You and Spencer remained side by side, chatting politely, both enjoying the quiet reprieve from the crowd inside. The cool night air felt refreshing, a stark contrast to the warm chaos of the dance floor.

“Are you, uh—still seeing that person from the other week?” Spencer asked awkwardly, his words stumbling out as he glanced at you.

You stiffened slightly at the mention of Shane, the wound still fresh, not something you wanted to discuss right now, especially not here. "No," you said simply, hoping to leave it at that.

Spencer shifted uncomfortably, his eyes darting away before he coughed. "Oh," he mumbled, then added, "I’m sorry. They’re an idiot."

You couldn’t help but smile, the warmth of his words cutting through some of the lingering pain. "Thank you," you said softly, genuinely appreciating his attempt to comfort you.

Spencer nodded, and when he finally looked at you, something in his expression changed. His eyes locked with yours, and for a brief moment, the world seemed to stand still. He realized in that instant that what he felt looking into your eyes—this connection, this spark—was stronger than anything he’d ever felt with Eli. Every moment he had shared with Eli over the course of their relationship paled in comparison to what he felt standing there with you now.

The realization hit him like a tidal wave, both exhilarating and terrifying. He wasn’t sure what to do with this feeling, and the fear of what it meant gripped him tightly. Spencer wasn’t ready to confront it, but in that moment, he knew something had shifted between the two of you. And that scared him more than anything.

—

The next time you saw him, Eli was by his side once again. The team was gathered to celebrate Aaron Hotchner’s birthday with a fancy dinner followed by a play, and the atmosphere was light, filled with laughter and easy conversation. The dinner had been delicious, and everyone was in high spirits as you all made your way to the theater, excitement buzzing in the air.

Finding your seats, you realized the universe must have been playing some sort of twisted joke. The numbers on your tickets had placed you directly next to Spencer. It seemed innocent enough—JJ was on your other side, and Eli sat beside Spencer—but the proximity between you two felt charged in a way that was hard to ignore.

The lights dimmed, and the show began, captivating the audience almost immediately. You focused on the performance, but you had no idea that Spencer's mind was far from the stage. Since the moment you walked into the restaurant tonight, Spencer’s mind had been a chaotic kaleidoscope of images of you. The way you looked, the way you moved, the sound of your laugh—it was overwhelming.

Sitting so close to you now, he felt a primal, almost feral need stirring inside him, something he'd never experienced so intensely before. It was beyond mere attraction; it was hunger. He could barely focus on the play as his thoughts drifted to you again and again.

Spencer’s chest tightened with guilt as his mind began slipping away from innocent thoughts. At first, his musings were harmless, but they quickly escalated to PG-13, and then further, to places he had never allowed himself to go before. He couldn’t shake it, this wild, uncontrollable pull toward you. He wanted to tear his thoughts away, but every fiber of his being was hyper-aware of your presence next to him.

It was horrible—he felt like he was betraying Eli, even though the thoughts stayed locked inside his own head. He clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white as he tried to suppress the desire building within him. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking about you like this, not when Eli was sitting right next to him. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the intense attraction coursing through his body. The guilt gnawed at him, but the desire burned even stronger.

He felt trapped, stuck between the relationship he had and the undeniable draw he felt toward you. And in that dark theater, surrounded by his friends, Spencer’s thoughts were anything but innocent.

During intermission, Spencer excused himself, practically fleeing to the restroom. Once there, he splashed cold water on his face, hoping to wash away the guilty, indecent thoughts that had plagued him throughout the first half of the play. What the hell is wrong with me? he thought, staring at his reflection, trying to regain control of himself.

Meanwhile, you headed to the concession stand, grabbing a lemonade. It came with a straw, which you twirled absentmindedly as you made your way back to your seat. You settled in, sipping slowly as everyone found their spots again.

When Spencer returned and sat next to you, he tried to focus on anything but you—the play, Eli, anything—but his eyes kept drifting to your lips as you wrapped them around the straw, sipping your drink. The way you casually sipped, completely unaware of the effect you were having on him, made his throat dry.

You noticed his lingering gaze and raised an eyebrow, suppressing a small smile. "Want a sip?" you offered, holding the drink out toward him, your voice teasing but light.

Spencer hesitated for a second, knowing that accepting it would be a bad idea. But then again, what harm could one sip do? "Sure," he replied, his voice low, almost strained.

Instead of taking the cup from your hand, Spencer leaned over, resting his hand lightly on your thigh as he bent toward you. His touch sent a jolt of warmth through you, and your breath hitched as he brought his lips to the straw still clasped in your hand. He took a slow sip, his hand remaining firmly in place, his fingers brushing lightly against the fabric of your dress.

Your face flushed a deep crimson, the simple act of him drinking from the same straw suddenly charged with an intimacy you hadn’t anticipated. You glanced quickly at Eli, but they were preoccupied, furiously typing away on their phone, not even noticing what was happening between you and Spencer.

As the lights flickered, signaling the end of intermission, Spencer pulled back, the drink slipping from his lips, but his hand stayed where it was, resting warmly on your thigh. The lights dimmed once more, and the play resumed, but Spencer’s touch remained, grounding you in a way that made it impossible to focus on anything else.

Neither of you said a word, but the unspoken tension between you hung in the air, heavier than ever. You didn’t dare move, and neither did he. And as the minutes passed, you could feel the weight of that moment, the quiet acknowledgement that whatever was happening between you was more than just fleeting glances or stolen moments.

Spencer’s hand stayed on your thigh for the rest of the show, and you tried to rationalize it. It’s probably just the wine he had with dinner, you thought, convincing yourself he was just feeling a bit more friendly than usual. After all, the two of you had bonded that night at the club, and maybe this was just an extension of that. Still, the warmth of his hand lingered longer than it should have, sending ripples of confusion through you.

When the lights came back on and the play ended, you quickly stood, clapping in applause and efficiently removing Spencer’s hand from your leg. You didn’t want to dwell on it, but the moment left you feeling uneasy. As the theater cleared, the group gathered outside to say their goodbyes, but you found yourself avoiding Spencer’s gaze.

Leaning over to Penelope, you whispered, "I’m not feeling so great. I think I need to head out."

Concern flashed across her face, but she didn’t question you. "Of course, babe. Let’s go."

After wishing Aaron a happy birthday, you and Penelope left before you could make any eye contact with Spencer. Your thoughts raced as you hurried away, unsure why he had acted the way he did. You didn’t hate what had happened, and that made it worse. He has a partner, you reminded yourself, the guilt settling heavily in your chest.

Meanwhile, Spencer and Eli made their way home as well. The silence between them was thick with unspoken tension, but when they arrived, Eli wasted no time initiating an intimate night. Spencer let it happen, going through the motions as his mind drifted back to you. He felt a surge of guilt and self-loathing. As Eli’s hands moved over him, Spencer’s thoughts were filled with the image of you, your laughter, the feel of your thigh beneath his palm. It made him feel like a monster, like he was betraying not only Eli, but you as well.

But what Spencer didn’t realize was that he wasn’t the only one with someone else on his mind. As Eli kissed him, their thoughts weren’t on Spencer either. The unspoken fractures in their relationship were growing wider, with both of them secretly imagining someone else, locked in a cycle of unaddressed desires and unvoiced doubts.

—

It was October now, and Halloween was rapidly approaching—Spencer's favorite time of year and his absolute favorite holiday. The excitement had been building for weeks, and it was palpable. He loved everything about Halloween—the history, the traditions, and, of course, the chance to dress up and lose himself in the festive spirit.

But as the holiday approached, so did the Halloween party you and Penelope were throwing. The entire team had been invited, along with their partners and a few other friends. It was going to be a night full of fun, laughter, and celebration, and you couldn't wait to show everyone the apartment, which was fully decked out in spooky decorations. 

Though you were looking forward to the party, there was one thought that kept crossing your mind: Spencer. He’d be there, of course, with Eli by his side. It was hard to shake the feeling that no matter how much time had passed since that strange, tension-filled evening at the theater, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. The truth was, you knew you couldn’t have him—he was spoken for, and no matter what had happened or hadn’t happened, he was off-limits.

But that didn’t stop you from hoping your costume might catch his eye.

You’d spent extra time picking out the perfect outfit—something that was fun and playful, but with just enough edge to make an impression. Part of you wondered if he would notice, if he would look at you the way he had during the play. Even though you knew it was dangerous territory, the thought lingered in the back of your mind.

As you finished adjusting the final Halloween decorations, you glanced around the apartment, satisfied with how everything had turned out. The anticipation of the party and seeing everyone—especially Spencer—left a mix of excitement and nervousness brewing inside you.

One night, you thought. One night to celebrate, to have fun. Just let it be enough.

By the time people started arriving, your apartment had been fully transformed into a Halloween wonderland. The living room is draped in warm, spooky hues of purple and orange, with bats hanging from the ceiling and a wreath made of autumn leaves and tiny pumpkins framing the window. The couches are decorated with plush pillows and blankets, and a coffee table sits adorned with jack-o'-lanterns, flickering with eerie candlelight, surrounded by scattered fall leaves.

The hallway leading to the party area is wrapped in dark, twisting branches and shimmering orange lights, creating a haunting yet whimsical path. A skeleton sits at the dining table, illuminated by the warm glow of string lights that crisscross overhead, casting playful shadows along the walls.

Further in, an archway framed with grinning pumpkins welcomes guests into a dining area, bathed in the glow of purple lights. Jack-o'-lanterns of all shapes and sizes line the walls, giving the space a playful but eerie ambiance. It’s the kind of atmosphere that will make the party unforgettable, setting the perfect tone for the night.

You and Penelope stood by the door, greeting your guests as they entered your neon-lit, spooky apartment, handing out glowing necklaces as a fun touch to set the party's mood. Amid the excitement and stress of hosting, you nearly forgot that Spencer would be walking through that door any minute now. Your thoughts had been focused on making sure everything was perfect, greeting the steady stream of guests, and keeping the energy light and fun.

Just as you were handing another glowing necklace to a guest, the front door burst open, and in strolled Derek, as confident as ever, with Emily on one arm and JJ on the other. Emily looked striking in her sleek Morticia Addams costume, with her sharp features highlighted by her dark makeup, and JJ exuded playful fierceness in her Kill Bill-inspired outfit. Penelope, as usual, was a burst of color and creativity in her neon-pink, revealing Alice in Wonderland-esc cat costume.

Derek, dressed as a dashing fighter pilot, took one look at you and Penelope, his eyes wide with exaggerated awe. “Wow! My god, you gorgeous ladies are gonna give me a heart attack!” he playfully swooned, placing a hand dramatically over his chest. 

Penelope grinned, striking a pose next to you, her Cheshire cat grin almost matching the one she had painted on her face. "Careful, Morgan. You might need to be resuscitated."

You couldn’t help but laugh at the exchange, but your heart fluttered slightly as you realized that any moment, Spencer would be walking in, and you wondered what he would think when he saw you in your costume.

The whole team had arrived about 20 minutes ago, with everyone dressed to impress, save for Spencer. You couldn’t help but worry he wasn’t going to come, despite his excitement about Halloween. You tried to stay positive, especially since everyone else seemed to be in good spirits. Even Hotch and Rossi had put in some effort, dressing up as Men in Black, though it was hardly a stretch from their usual look—very creative you thought with a smirk.

The party had started in full swing, laughter and music filling the room, but you couldn’t shake the slight disappointment. What if he doesn’t show?

Then, suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Without thinking, you crossed the room and swung it open, your jaw practically hitting the floor when you saw who was standing on the other side.

There, in all his unnervingly handsome glory, was Spencer—no Eli in sight. He was dressed as Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, complete with a suit, raincoat, and an ax slung over his shoulder. His normally disheveled hair was slicked back, and the blood splatter across his face made him look dangerously alluring. You could feel your heart stutter in your chest.

You stood there with your hand still on the door, staring at him for far too long to be socially acceptable. But Spencer wasn’t faring much better. His eyes had widened when he saw you in your Ghostface costume—though this was your take of the infamous killer, your fitted corset and thigh-high slit showing more than enough to leave Spencer speechless.

His lips parted slightly, the two of you caught in an awkward, electrifying silence. Neither of you moved or spoke, both seemingly frozen in the moment. You tried to find something to say, but your brain refused to cooperate. He looked breathtaking, and from the look in his eyes, you were certain he thought the same about you.

"Uh… wow," Spencer finally managed, his voice low, almost reverent.

You blinked, snapping out of your trance and feeling your cheeks heat up. "Spencer… you… look…" You trailed off, biting your lip as your eyes roamed over his form again.

"Yeah," he murmured, his gaze dropping to your costume. "You too." He cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly but never taking his eyes off you.

You stepped aside, finally remembering your manners. "Come in," you said, your voice breathless.

As he walked past you, your heart fluttered wildly in your chest. Tonight was going to be interesting.

“Boy wonder!” Penelope squealed as she caught sight of Spencer walking into the party. Her arms flung open dramatically before pulling him into a big squeeze. 

"Hey, Pen, great party!" Spencer laughed, his voice warm as he returned her embrace.

JJ approached, tilting her head curiously. "Where’s Eli?"

Spencer didn’t seem fazed by the question as he shrugged casually. "Oh, their friend is having a party tonight too. They might stop by later, but I wouldn’t count on it," he replied with a small laugh, seemingly unbothered by Eli’s absence.

Derek, being a sharp observer of Spencer’s moods, raised an eyebrow. “...And you’re cool with this?”

Spencer just smiled brightly, brushing it off with a light chuckle. “Yup! We don’t have to do everything together.” He laughed again, the sound easygoing and relaxed.

Everyone seemed to accept his answer, nodding along before the party really began to kick into gear. Laughter and conversation flowed easily around the room, the energy of the Halloween festivities keeping everyone entertained.

But despite the natural rhythm of the night, you couldn’t quite shake the nagging feeling in the back of your mind. Something about Spencer seemed off—not in a bad way, but different. He seemed almost too happy that Eli hadn’t joined him. There was something about his energy, a lightness that hadn’t been there before, and the more you watched him throughout the evening, the more you wondered what was really going on beneath that bright smile of his.

You were in the kitchen, pouring yourself a drink, when the sound of footsteps behind you caught your attention. Without hesitation, you glanced over your shoulder and saw Spencer standing there. Instinctively, you turned to face him, not wanting to give him the chance to sneak up on you.

"Hello, Spencer," you greeted with a warm smile, trying to mask the sudden nervous energy that surged through you.

"Y/N," he nodded, stepping a little closer. "You know, maybe we should team up. Might make things easier," he added with a smirk, his costume and demeanor making him look every bit the psycho he was dressed as. The sight of him like that sent your heart racing, and to your dismay, you found yourself stuttering.

"Wh–what? You, an–an–me?"

Spencer just laughed, the sound low and amused. "Ghostface and Patrick Bateman? We’d make quite the team."

You chuckled nervously, trying to shake off the butterflies in your stomach. "Oh, hah, yeah, you’re right. So, um, who’s our first victim?" you asked, playing along with the joke.

Spencer rubbed his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. "Hmm… I’d say we start with the Men in Black. Take out the authority first."

You couldn’t help it—the laugh that erupted from you was genuine and loud, a real cackle that caught you off guard. You quickly covered your mouth, embarrassed by how loud it was.

But before you could fully hide, Spencer reached out and gently grabbed your wrist, lowering your hand. "Don’t cover up," he said softly, his eyes locking with yours. "I like your laugh."

His touch sent a warm shiver down your spine, and for a moment, the playful atmosphere shifted into something heavier, something unspoken hanging between you both. You smiled, the blush creeping up your cheeks, unsure of how to respond to the sudden intimacy.

"Thanks," you murmured, your heart thudding in your chest, the moment feeling far more charged than a simple Halloween joke should have been.

You cleared your throat, turning back to focus on your drink, trying to regain some semblance of composure. "So, um, how do we take them out?" you asked, trying to keep the conversation light and playful.

Spencer tapped his chin in mock thought before flashing you a mischievous smirk. "Let's make it a game," he said, his voice low, adding to the playful tension between you. "We have to turn off their glowing necklaces without them noticing. If you’re successful, you get a point. Most points by the end of the night wins."

You grinned at the idea, nodding in agreement. "Alright, you’re on."

And just like that, the game began. You and Spencer spent the rest of the evening sneaking around the party, laughing and conspiring together like mischievous children. You’d catch each other’s eye from across the room, silently plotting, and then spring into action, working to stealthily turn off people’s glowing necklaces without them noticing.

Every time one of you was successful, you’d stifle giggles, slipping back into the crowd with a triumphant grin. The whole dynamic between you and Spencer had shifted into something new—something light, fun, and undeniably flirtatious. Your shared laughter echoed through the room, drawing the attention of the other guests.

It didn’t take long for people to notice the change. Derek raised an eyebrow at the two of you, watching as you and Spencer darted around with smiles and whispered jokes. JJ and Emily exchanged knowing glances, clearly curious about this unexpected shift in your relationship. Even Penelope caught on, throwing you a sly look that said she’d definitely be asking you about this later.

Everyone seemed to be wondering the same thing: Since when did these two get along so well?

But you didn’t care. For the first time in a long while, you were having fun—real fun—with Spencer. And, despite the attention from everyone else, you weren’t ready for it to stop.

—

As the night wrapped up, the energy was still buzzing. Everyone had enjoyed themselves, and the party had been a huge success. You felt a sense of pride as you waved goodbye to your guests, making sure everyone had a designated driver or had called a cab. Once the last person had left, you closed the door, feeling the peaceful silence settle in.

But the quiet didn’t last long.

Penelope wasted no time, immediately bombarding you with questions, her eyes wide with curiosity. "Okay, spill! What was that? You and Boy Wonder sneaking around, giggling like a couple of high schoolers? Since when are you and Spencer all… flirty?!"

You laughed, still riding the high of the evening, but you could see the concern in Penelope’s eyes. She leaned in closer, her expression softening as she lowered her voice. "Look, I loved seeing you have fun tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you smile like that," she admitted, "but I just want you to be careful. Spencer and Eli seem very happy together, and I don’t want you getting hurt."

You hesitated, knowing she was right. "I know, Pen," you sighed. "It’s just… it was harmless fun, you know? Nothing serious."

Penelope gave you a look, the one that said she wasn’t buying it. "I just don’t want you caught up in something messy," she said softly. "You deserve someone who’s all in, not someone who’s already got someone else."

You nodded, appreciating her concern, but at the same time, you couldn’t shake the way Spencer had looked at you tonight, the way you’d both laughed together like nothing else mattered.

Meanwhile, Spencer drove home in silence, not having had a single drink all night. His mind was still racing from the party, the memories of sneaking around with you and laughing filling his head. The evening had been… unexpected. He couldn’t deny that he’d had fun, maybe more fun than he’d had in a while.

When he pulled into the parking garage, he noticed Eli’s car wasn’t there. He assumed they were still out, maybe spending the night at their friend’s place. It wasn’t unusual for Eli to stay out late when they were with friends, and Spencer didn’t give it much thought as he unlocked the front door and walked inside.

He moved through the apartment quietly, heading down the hall to the bedroom. But what he didn’t expect—what stopped him dead in his tracks—was the sight that greeted him when he opened the bedroom door.

There, in his bed, was Eli. And they weren’t alone.

It took a moment for Spencer’s brain to register what he was seeing, but when it did, the shock hit him like a tidal wave. The person with Eli—the one tangled up in the sheets, very clearly entwined with his partner—was none other than Shane, the same person who had taken you on a date.

His heart pounded in his chest as the weight of the betrayal sank in, the scene before him twisting his stomach into knots.

Shane looked up at the sound of the door opening, pulling away from Eli and quickly covering both of them with the blankets, their face contorting into a mix of shock and confusion.

“What the hell?” Shane yelled, voice panicked.

That finally snapped Spencer out of his state of shock. “What the hell? What the hell! Get out of my fucking bed!” he screamed, his voice cracking with raw emotion.

“Your bed?” Shane’s face instantly fell, their eyes darting to Eli, whose expression was now cold, almost indifferent. “Are you married?” Shane asked, their voice trembling with fear and disbelief.

Eli scoffed, pushing themselves out of bed, making no effort to cover up. “No,” they said with a lazy shrug, “this is Spencer.”

“And who is Spencer?” Shane asked, sounding utterly heartbroken.

Spencer’s voice trembled with emotion as he stood frozen in the doorway, tears welling up in his eyes. “Yeah, Eli... who is Spencer?”

Eli rolled their eyes, casually pulling on a robe, unfazed by the entire situation. “My partner,” they said dismissively, as if it meant nothing.

“What?” Shane cried out, turning to Spencer, tears streaming down their face. “I am so sorry, I had no idea. We—we’ve been seeing each other for weeks.” Shane’s voice cracked with guilt and devastation.

Spencer felt like he should have been more hurt by the revelation, but the truth was, Shane’s emotional investment was far greater than his own. He saw now why Eli had been so suddenly attentive and kind—there had been someone else.

“It’s—it’s fine,” Spencer muttered, running a shaky hand through his hair, trying to keep it together. “I’ll, um, I’ll stay somewhere else tonight. Eli, let’s talk later, okay?”

Eli just nodded, entirely unaffected. “Cool.”

With that, Spencer grabbed a few things and left the apartment, feeling numb and hollow.

—

Back at your place, you and Penelope were still sitting on the couch, talking about the party, when there was a sudden knock at the door. You exchanged a curious look, not expecting anyone else to stop by at this hour.

Penelope shot up, tiptoeing over to the door and peeking through the peephole. She gasped loudly before rushing back to you, whispering in a hurried panic, “It’s Spencer!” And then, without any warning, she dashed off to her bedroom, the unmistakable sound of the door locking echoing through the apartment.

You let out a long sigh, standing up and making your way over to the door, wondering what could have brought Spencer here so late. You expected him to say he’d forgotten his phone or maybe just needed something small.

But when you opened the door, Spencer didn’t say a word.

He didn’t ask for anything, didn’t explain himself. Instead, he stepped forward, his eyes heavy with emotion, and before you could even react, he reached out, grabbing your face gently but with a sense of urgency. Then, without hesitation, Spencer pressed his lips to yours in a kiss that was both desperate and full of longing.

The world seemed to stop in that moment, your heart pounding as the warmth of his lips consumed you, every thought and question vanishing into the kiss.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

tag list <333 @dirtytissuebox @yokaimoon @khxna @noelliece @dreamsarebig @sleepey-looney @cocobean16 @placidus @criminalmindssworld @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg @charismatic-writer @fxoxo @hearts4spensco @furrybouquettrash @kathrynlakestone @chaneladdicted @time-himself @mentallyunwellsposts @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @gilwm @reggieswriter @loumouse @spencerreidsreads @i-live-in-spite @fanfic-viewer @bootylovers44 @atheniandrinkscoffee @niktwazny303 @dead-universe @hbwrelic @kniselle @cynbx @danielle143

[asidian]

DBDA Meta Commentary Roundup

Okay, I'm getting tired of scrolling back to find my own posts, so it's time for a roundup post for my DBDA meta commentary.

Meta Commentary:

Why you should watch Dead Boy Detectives

Charles is a people pleaser

A very large snake as a reference to hell

The same lantern

Edwin knows the Misery Wraiths a bit too well

Why Charles is upset by more than just jealousy re: Monty

The white kimono

How Crystal and Charles' character arcs intersect to make an absolute trash fire

You can talk to me about anything

Edwin's hidden kindness as Charles dies

Edwin's hangups re: emotion and how it ties into his time in hell

The silliest Clue edition

The Cat King's design changes when he starts a new life

Counting cats

Where is the Doll House

Edwin and Charles acting like they've known each other forever in tiny details

Esther has the cops in her pocket

The lantern scenes as an extension of the theme "The good you do comes back around"

Why Charles opens up to Crystal so quickly

Payneland endgame nods through leitmotifs in the soundtrack

Charles is super sensitive to criticism, even when it's not intended

The Season 2 in my heart

The hidden nod to history in the WWI ghost's makeup

Why Charles' death is so much worse than it seems

The brilliance of the first ten minutes

The ship of all time

The incredible women of Dead Boy Detectives

Edwin's bowtie

Crystal and Charles as mirrors and projections

Bi disaster Charles Rowland

Edwin can knit

Chekhov's snake-slaying sword

Murder night movie time

Why Charles was more of a hero than he knew

What the doll placement says about Edwin's many deaths

Charles smiles for other people

The absolute fridge horror of That One Gate in hell

The only good thing generative AI has ever done

The wood-burning stove as part of Charles' cold trauma

Charles is so very brave for walking into hell

Charles' bad decision face

Edwin complimenting Crystal as a kindness to Charles

Charles' something-is-going-to-be-difficult tell Charles Rowland appreciation hours

Crystal's two character arcs

Niko's fear of death and her own mortality

Mick is great

How Edwin speaks of hell as character growth

Set Design:

Charles' room

The London office

The boys' detective license and its source

Tragic Mick's shop

Niko's room

Cameos:

The boys' early relationship and how they've influenced each other

What the boys do together in their downtime as leisure activities

A brief in-character skit of an ordinary day at the office

Tidbits about the characters that didn't make it into the show

Input in developing Edwin as a character and suggested changes

Color Symbolism:

Red

Blue

Pink

Green

Green (alt)

Purple

Orange

Brown

Black

White

[amorchai]

𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄.

written for my old blog but never posted!

pairing(s): eddie munson x reader

words: 1180

warnings/tags: first date awkwardness, eddie dressing smart for a casual date because he has no idea what he’s doing, star wars references.

you didn’t expect eddie munson to be such a damn gentlemen on your first date. but then again, you never expected to be on a date with eddie munson.

seven o’clock on the dot, your front door knocked, just the time eddie had promised. and once you opened the door, previously wiping your hands from sweat and fixing your outfit to look perfect, you were met with the curly haired boy.

only, he was dressed up. you didn’t know what you presumed he would wear, knowing for a first date his ‘hellfire club’ top will be a bit too casual. but a brown dress shirt and nice trousers, you could hardly tear your eyes from him.

“left my leather jacket in the car, i didn’t know whether to wear it or not,” he splutters firstly, not even a ‘hello’ as his eyes are wide and wild in front of you, and you try to look around where his hands are suspiciously hidden behind his back.

“you look nice,” you state, smiling up at him, both nervously staring at one another before he replies, “me? i look nice? you! look at you, the prettiest person to walk hawkin’s town.” 

“is that what i think it is? hidden behind your back?” you tease lightly, trying to get another glimpse. eddie nods sheepishly, “these are for you,” bringing out the overly stuffed bouquet of flowers, emitting a gasp of appreciation from your throat as you gaze over the disorderly state.

emitting in pure eddie fashion, the one you grew to really like.

“i—uh, harrington told me that roses are the flowers representing ‘romance’, and buckley told me pale red carnations were a better representation of ‘love and affection’ so i got both and put them together."

before you can respond, eddie continues, watching as you gently pry them out of his hands and into yours to look over fondly, “which i don’t really understand, she said pale red, but isn’t pale red just pink? she said it’s not.”

you open your mouth to reply, any effort to try and calm down his rambling voice, but again, he starts talking, “anyways, they’re a mess, i can just take them back, i’ll bring you better ones next time.”

next time, you think. how cute is he?

“no! i love them, thank you!” you lean up to kiss his cheek before leaving a blushing eddie to place the flowers into a watered vase. his fingers graze the spot you just kissed, leaning forward to look into his reflection against the pan of glass of your door, fixing his hair over his forehead.

he jumps back when you step across the hall, as if waiting patiently for your return and guides you towards his truck, holding the door open for you, and shutting it after.

you didn’t know what a date with eddie would be like, he was much different than anyone else, and while you hadn’t been on a date before, you knew what the cliché romance novels would predict.

eddie took you to a drive-thru movie, paying for your ticket and popcorn, ever the gentlemen that he’s quickly living up to. and finds the best spot he could, off to the side but in good view of the screen.

he turns to you periodically, arriving to the lot early and therefore having to wait some time for it to start. it’s a little awkward to begin with, unsure with what to talk about at the start. you had been friends, not as close as others, more-so through robin. but you knew a lot about each other.

eddie asks a few shameful questions when the tape starts, lousy trailers playing before the actual movie, questions about your day or plans from the past week but after exchanging the answers between one another, nerves further arise.

however, you turn to eddie when you reach for a handful of popcorn, his hand bumping yours clumsily as he looks to you with a quick apology. you stare at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter, the tension suddenly breaking as you both realise how stupid it is.

“i’m sorry, i’ve never done this before,” eddie admits, “me neither.” his eyes trail off, down your body quickly before towards the front of the car in thought, clearly confused, “you’re telling me you’ve never been on a date?”.

“correct, munson. why? is that hard to believe?” you joke, reaching for your next handful of popcorn, ignoring the fact that star wars: a new hope finally begins to play upon the big screen. “very, i mean— have you seen or spoke to you?”.

“couple of times, never really strikes up a good conversation, unfortunately.”

eddie laughs, beaming towards you at the change of tone, the conversation already flowing more easily and the edge gone into a more comfortable nature, the way he already knew with you, and why he had asked you on a date in the first place.

“but what about you, nobody else in hawkin’s able to catch wind of the munson charm?” you ask, and eddie shrugs, glancing to the movie as he chews on the buttery snack. “nah, funnily enough, being the weirdo of hawkin’s high doesn’t score you any dates. never asked and never been asked.”

he sounds like he doesn’t mind, which makes your heart flutter in thought. maybe he didn’t really think about dating until you came along.

you fall into another silence, this time comfortable, as you watch the beginning of the fantasy movie. your hand hovers the popcorn box resting on the console, deliberately enticing eddie to hold your hand which he falls for instantly.

his hands are warm and big, engulfing yours with his rings pressing against your skin when he rests them in front of the popcorn.

“you know, i’ve never seen this movie,” you say, tilting your head to the side, unaware of the way eddie looks over, shocked. “you’ve never seen star wars? your house didn’t look like a rock from the outside, how can you have not seen them?”.

“charming, thank you,” you giggle in response.

his hand tugs yours slightly, moving them closer to his lap when he speaks again, leaning forward towards your face, “well, i’ll be sure to hold you when the big battle scene comes on, even after luke destroys the death star.”

“eddie…” you trail off, using your intertwined hands to nudge the side of his thigh, “spoiler alert.”

he cringes, “shit, sorry! i’m so sorry,” eddie begins, eyes anxious as he tries to redeem himself, not noticing your amused expression, “at least it’s not the next one where you find out darth vader is—” before he can finish, you lean over to press your fingers over his lips, laughter falling from yours.

“eddie, eddie. let’s say you don’t tell me the entire plotline of the star war trilogy and we can watch the next movie on our next date?” you offer through giggles, pulling away to allow him to reply.

next date, eddie thinks. i’m losing my mind.

amorchai masterlist . taglist

amorchai © ─ all rights reserved. no reposting/translating/copying will be tolerated.

[petite-madame]

just so you know, it’s very obvious to actual artists that you’re posting AI and then lying that you’ve done it all by hand. kind of embarrassing, and more than a little fucked up.

Hi anon

This kind of nonsense usually ends up in the trash with a laugh but as it's my first "your art is AI", let's go! (It was just a matter of time, as practically all my artist friends got this kind of messages at this point)

it’s very obvious to actual artists...

Actual artists ? You mean, like me, a professional illustrator in her 40s, who has started drawing at the age of 8 and who has been drawing with a consistant art style for the past 15 years (with some improvements, thank god 🤓) ? People like you have accused me of tracing using tracing paper when I was a kid, tracing in Photoshop 15 years ago when I started to post on the internet and now my art is "AI". I should be used to it by now: when I posted this one 14 YEARS AGO, people told me it was traced and that "I wasn't a real artist, actual artists could tell"

I've consistently posted step by step, WIPs, vids, reels, gifs, shown the number of layers I use by art (sometimes more than 100) but apparently, it's never enough. And my art is AI generated ? Which one ?

So much for the Loki one, I apologize for the 0,3%…

Which is also funny is that fans of Supernatural, Good Omens, Sherlock, etc…have been able to say exactly which reference pictures I used for each drawing, not only for faces but sometimes also for the pose and the clothing (because yes, omg, I use reference pictures, the horror 😲)

However if you want to talk about my technique, and I've never hidden it, I sometimes use photos or 3D models for backgrounds because I hate drawing backgrounds. For instance the background of the Superwholock one is composed of a couple of stock pictures (a pub).

Same for a "Sherlock Harry Potter AU" I'll post in a month or so: some parts oh Hogwarts are screenshots from the movie because I didn't feel like drawing a room full of students.

Also, is there sometimes mistakes in my art that don't make sense ? Yes, nothing new, I make mistakes, I've been doing it for years and I still do it, particularly when it comes to anatomy. I want to pull my hair out when I notice them weeks (sometimes months) later but here we are.

Anyway, people like you who throw "it's AI" accusations all over the Internet better think twice because the result is this.

Don't get me wrong, I get the AI paranoia but instead of sending messages to artists like this one, ask kindly about their process, their technique, etc…and also, have a look at their archive, it could help.

I'm leaving you now, I have AI art to generate (= spending 10 hours per drawing using reference pictures, finding inspiration from classical painting, using about 100 layers and stressing about the art not being good enough).

Have a great weekend!

[feathered-mushrooms]

Movie Night at the X mansion ✨

Drew this in 2022, just getting around to posting Still pretty proud of it(and the hidden references)

[greenfiend]

“The week is long. The silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west. A trip to China sounds nice, if you tread lightly.”

Now although they’ve likely hinted at this with the whole airport scene (at the airport gate…) I think this is still something that has yet to come. This is likely code for the epic climax of the last episode.

After making this post… I think I’ve finally figured out the whole code… and I do think it’s about Will and Mike (and Lover’s Lake).

“The week is long”

Obviously this is related to emotions slowing down time. This likely means more miscommunication… more hurt feelings and more separation. (Separation being implied in the songs here).

“The silver cat feeds”

Silver cat likely being the Lynx (as we see multiple references to it). See the “Lynx” in the background of the photo above? It’s the name of a transportation/shipping company. The silver cat is obviously a portal/gate!

“Lynx teaches manipulation of time and space in otherworlds.” X (The association with space-time manipulation and feeding could imply a black hole/wormhole (or watergate itself)… this could be the “giant creature with a gapping mouth”).

Remember… they alluded to this when Will and Mike met at the airport gate, with the large “snack” sign (“snack-sized gate”). (Meeting at a gate AND water/the ocean is mentioned in the songs here). AND because it’s called a “snack size” it’s connected with FEEDING!!! The silver cat FEEDS on this snack.

It is also possible they created their own separate gate/portal (in the rear? 🫣) with their strong sexual energy/electromagnetic field.

It’s also worth noting that the Lynx is also associated with secrets, lies, and hidden truths. X

“when blue meets yellow in the west”

Now. Assuming that blue = Mike and yellow = Will… (which is also referenced in the songs here! “Blue” and “sunshine”)

what west are we speaking of? California? Yes it is west but no.

But, bare with me here. There is one spot that Dustin kindly informs us that is west of Skull Rock. Lover’s Lake.

They were at Lover’s Lake then went east towards Skull Rock… thus… Lover’s Lake is west relative to that spot.

ALSO, “west” might be a reference to “West Germany”. The song Heroes (commonly associated with Byler) tells the tale of lovers from West and East Germany separated by the Berlin Wall. Like how Mike and Will are separated by the gate between the right side up and the upside down. The west side being the wealthy side (right side up) and the east likely being the UD. The screenshot above is proof of the connection between Berlin/the Berlin Wall and Lover’s Lake/“watergate”.

“A trip to China sounds nice, if you tread lightly.”

China = the upside-down. You know the saying “are you digging to China?”, implying that China is on the opposite side/upside-down from you.

AND we have an association here with Lover’s Lake/“watergate” and China…

Why would a trip to the UD sound nice? Well it may if they go there and “tread lightly”.

Recall the “Kaufman Shoes” Robin associated with to “tread lightly”? Well… there’s a movie called “Man on the Moon” about a man named Andy Kaufman. Hmm… makes me think of the famous line “one small step for man… one giant leap for mankind.” One small step would be treading lightly after all… Could this be a possible hint to the boys arriving to a new world?

Now, they’d also need to “tread lightly” when it comes to finally expressing their feelings.

Let’s see what Joyce and Hopper have to say about that:

To sum it all up:

1. Will and Mike are separated (making the week long). Now, I think “blue”/Mike is in the UD or “East”.

2. Mike returns to the right side up/“West Germany”/the WEST and reunites with Will at Lover’s Lake.

3. When reunited, either a new gate is formed or the current gate is altered by their strong electromagnetic field and they fall into it together. (They are the “SNACK” of the silver cat that feeds/giant creature with the gapping mouth/the gate!!!!)

4. Together, they create a new environment… one that is safe for them to share their feelings.

[noneorother]

All the music you didn’t hear: The Good Omens soundtrack is lying to you. *Part 1*

The Bonkers Meta Series part 2: Electric Boogaloo.

I so rarely get a chance to misuse my experience in classical music, but here we are. When I realized on my most recent watch-through of the series that the David Arnold score was brilliant, but also really wonky in some parts and I couldn’t put my finger on why, @embracing-the-ineffable suggested I listen to the album soundtrack to compare.

And when I tell you what I found hidden in there, you’re going to need Eccles cakes...

1) The Song is the Clue

So right up top we have this banger. The 12th track on the album is the orchestral backdrop to the scene in the Job minisode where Aziraphale reveals Crowley’s crow/goats. The duration is 2:22 (the only track with multiples on the album), and if you look at the track by itself it doesn’t mean much. But the song just before it is actually from this fucking scene:

You know, the one where there’s a song that’s a clue to a mystery. Except Clue is capitalised, and Aziraphale pronounces it. I’ve seen guesses that this is a reference to the movie Clue, but I would put a lot of money on the fact that we are supposed to read the title of the song currently playing at that moment in the show *as a Clue*, which is super convenient, because the word Clue is capitalized in the track listing. 

Seems like the overlords of Good Omens have a message for us : The song is the Clue. It’s what God wants. Cool cool cool. WHAT SONG?

2) Symmetry in all things 

Before I straight up tell you, we have to go back and look at season 1.

Now I’m far from the first to notice tons of parallels between the story, details and even lines in both seasons. It got me thinking that maybe there are some fun synch-up parallels between the two season’s soundtracks, seeing as they are both 6 episodes long. Here’s the end of S1 and then S2

Oh that’s a bummer, I thought to myself. 

They don’t even add up to the same number, or playtime, and neither of them is exactly 60 tracks. But do you want to hear a secret? S2 is actually missing 3 tracks on the album. And because there are 2 discs in S2 (cute), the numbers of the tracks start over again from 1. Remember how much God likes sevens? Check out where all the weirdness is happening in disc 2 (I’ve added the missing track listings in red to add context):

After checking each track with the show and listening side by side (for reasons that will become clear in another post) I can definitively say that there is something *very weird* going on at the end of episode 4. 

First is track 7, Zombie dressing room, which seems to actually reach over two distinct scenes of the photo evidence in the dressing room and then Shax in hell even though it only has one title.

But *between* these two scenes we get an eerily silent wine date with Aziraphale & Crowley.

There’s really no music or even sound here besides the dialogue and room tone (until after the cheers), and it seems like a very intentionally silent version of a ritz date from season 1.

My best guess is that we are supposed to divide that track into two tracks of 7, before and after the date to get a second track 7. Or maybe the silent one is missing music? The third track number 7 is the weirdest one. It’s this scene here, when Nina parks her bike, and Aziraphale parks the car at the end of S2E4.

If you take a close listen to the music, it’s a jaunty little piece, with an oom-pah base in 3 ⁄ 4 time. The thing is, this music does not exist in any Good Omens album. Please feel free to correct me, but I’ve tried to find any part of any song that this could even be a reprise of, and I Shazammed it to be sure it wasn’t anything else. This song does not exist anywhere except in this scene. (It quickly morphs into a reprise of the original theme once Nina leaves Aziraphale). It’s an invisible song.

So we have 3 tracks at the end of S2E4: a long one, a silent one and an invisible one. Only one of which is numbered 7, but that all fit into that place in the track listing.

Which, when we add the two extras to the original total of fifty-nine we get... sixty-one! Hey wait a minute.

How are we going to get to 62?

3) The real missing track. 

So the real reason we had to go back to the S1 album was because it contains the missing track that God is talking about. Let’s compare the last tracks on each album.

I’ve highlighted the mismatch between the in-show music and the album in S2, which means I had to add A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square back into the S2 album because guess what, it’s not in the S2 album. Even though it plays in the show. 

You want to know how not in the album it is? Amazon had to track it in the show as a season 1 song. They had to give Tori Amos credit for her song on Good Omens in the X-ray bonus features because that’s how not in the album this song is.

So my fellow beings, if the song is the Clue, then It’s what God Wants.

And if God wants a happily ever after with Aziraphale and Crowley on their own side, then by Job, I think Neil is going to give it to her.

-----------

And there's more where that came from! Part 2 coming shortly.

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

“Nosferatu is a demon lover story”: what’s the deal with Ellen and Orlok in the 2024 adaptation?

“Robert Eggers wants you to see his Nosferatu as both a lover and a biter”: source.

But what demon(s) are we talking about here, exactly? How and why are Ellen and Orlok connected? What’s the demonic love story Eggers is talking about? And where is this “love” we keep earring about?

These figures are not straight-out mentioned in the film itself, but there are several clues towards their identities. There’s a lot of hidden occult meaning in this film, like is customary in horror movies, especially in Dracula and Nosferatu (the unauthorized version of Dracula) adaptations.

How many references there are to Aleister Crowley Thelema and to Enochian Magic in “Nosferatu” (2024)? A lot! Because many of these were already in the 1922 original, but in a different way.

Things to keep in mind to understand this story:

This script is esoteric-coded: every word and expression has an hidden meaning;

This is a masterclass in how to write occult stories; with hidden messages only recognized by the “initiated” or those like me who have intelectual and academic interest in these topics (I’m a Art History PdH student, and many would be surprised with the insane amount of occult messages in Modern Art, including cinema).

Robert Eggers’ “Nosferatu” is the story of a manifestation of Babalon (Ellen) and the Beast, the earthly incarnation of Chaos (Orlok), her spiritual consort. Mainstream Western societies know her by another name: the Whore of Babylon. Crowley called her earthly manifestation “Scarlet Woman”, and she’s seen as a divine feminine entity by occultists, who have re-interpreted her in a more empowering and positive light than biblical text.

I already discussed this in other post, alongside with Isis/Ellen and Osiris/Orlok, but will explore it further here. I recommend reading that first to understand what I’m talking about here.

We need to start with “Book of Revelations” from the Christian Bible because that’s the base for Thelemic and Enochian traditions present in the 2024 adaptation of “Nosferatu”:

Book of Revelations (Apocalypse)

“And I stood upon the sand of the sea. And I saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy.”

Revelations 13:1

This passage is present in the actual film; when Friedrich Harding “expels” Thomas and Ellen, and they are returning home. One man on the street is paraphrasing this passage from “Revelations”, foreshadowing Orlok’s arrival to Wisburg (beast rise up from the sea). This is very straightforward. No doubts here.

In the same biblical text, there’s the story of the woman who rides this beast; Revelations 17:

“One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came and said to me, “Come, I will show you the punishment of the great prostitute, who sits by many waters. With her the kings of the earth committed adultery, and the inhabitants of the earth were intoxicated with the wine of her adulteries.”

Then the angel carried me away in the Spirit into a wilderness. There I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast that was covered with blasphemous names and had seven heads and ten horns. The woman was dressed in purple [lilacs] and scarlet [blood], and was glittering with gold [sunlight] precious stones and pearls. She held a golden cup in her hand, filled with abominable things and the filth of her adulteries. The name written on her forehead was a mystery:

Babylon the great, the mother of prostitutes, and of the abominations of the earth.

“Seven heads” = heptagram, the seven-pointed star (Orlok and Babalon sigils)

“Ten horns” = ten lilac flowers

“Golden cup” = considered the “Holy Grail” = womb

“Filled with abominable things” = sex with undead Orlok (necrophilia)

“and the filth of her adulteries” = adulterous sex (she’s married to Thomas before God, and in Christian tradition this can’t be dissolved)

I saw that the woman was drunk with the blood of God’s holy people, the blood of those who bore testimony to Jesus. When I saw her, I was greatly astonished. Then the angel said to me: “Why are you astonished? I will explain to you the mystery of the woman and of the beast she rides, which has the seven heads and ten horns.

The beast, which you saw, once was, now is not, and yet will come up out of the Abyss and go to its destruction. The inhabitants of the earth whose names have not been written in the book of life from the creation of the world will be astonished when they see the beast, because it once was, now is not, and yet will come.

“This calls for a mind with wisdom. The seven heads are seven hills on which the woman sits. They are also seven kings. Five have fallen, one is, the other has not yet come; but when he does come, he must remain for only a little while. The beast who once was, and now is not, is an eighth king. He belongs to the seven and is going to his destruction.

[…]

“Then the angel said to me, “The waters you saw, where the prostitute sits, are peoples, multitudes, nations and languages. The beast and the ten horns you saw will hate the prostitute. They will bring her to ruin and leave her naked; they will eat her flesh and burn her with fire. For God has put it into their hearts to accomplish his purpose by agreeing to hand over to the beast their royal authority, until God’s words are fulfilled. The woman you saw is the great city that rules over the kings of the earth.”

This is the Christian interpretation of the “Whore of Babylon” and her Beast. And I already saw others picking up on this on social media, but with this line of interpretation, which isn’t what Robert Eggers was going for; he’s following the occultist interpretation.

Enochian tradition and Crowley’s occult system Thelema have a very different interpretation of this tale.

The Holy Whore, The Great Mother

“She [Babalon] rides astride the Beast; in her left hand she holds the reins, representing the passion which unites them. In her right she holds aloft the cup, the Holy Grail aflame with love and death. In this cup are mingled the elements of the sacrament of the Aeon”.

Aleister Crowley, “The Book of Thoth”

“Her cup” = womb

“Aflame” = sexual climax; orgasm

“With love and death” = her love for undead Orlok (Death)

Babalon is a complex and mysterious figure, associated with several Goddesses and deities (Nuit, Isis, Kali, Lilith, etc.). She embodies several archetypes: the Divine Feminine; the Great Mother, the Succubus, the Initiatrix, the Holy Whore (or Divine Harlot), the Womb, the Great Sea and the Divine Blood itself. She’s more than liberated female sexuality and lust (“Holy Whore” because she enjoys sex without the burden of reproduction), she’s Mother Earth itself, a creative and destructive force. She’s the “mother of abominations” associated with natural calamities (catastrophes like earthquakes and hurricanes, plagues, etc.). She’s both good and evil, divine and diabolical. Crowley called her earthy manifestation “Scarlet Woman” and the Holy Grail (womb) is her symbol. She’s worshipped throughout the spectrum of Occultism and Mysticism: Thelemics, Hermetics, Kabbalists, Satanists, etc.

“I shall persist to join you every night, first in sleep, then in your arms. Everything will be mixed with abomination, and you’ll be knee-deep in blood. Everyone will cry. There will be none to bury the dead. You are promised to me.”

Is Ellen “promised” and “fated” to Orlok because of the oath she made to him in the prologue of the film? Or because he tricked Thomas into signing a dissolution of his marriage to Ellen?

“You are not for the living. You are not for human kind. You shall be one with me ever-eternally. Do you swear it?” “I swear.”

Not quite. Because Fate is a huge theme in this story: “destiny” and “providence” are mentioned throughout the film, by Ellen, Herr Knock and Von Franz several times. “I fear my destiny.” Ellen says to Von Franz.

“Your passion is bound to me.”

To understand what Orlok is talking about, we need to go to Enochian tradition, and to the writings of John Dee and Edward Kelly. In 1587, they supposedly underwent a serie of magical workings and made contact with a female spirit, who gave them a vision, which is the first historical mention of “Babalon” (“wicked” in Enochian language):

“I am the daughter of Fortitude, and ravished every hour from my youth. For behold I am Understanding and science dwelleth in me; and the heavens oppress me. They cover and desire me with infinite appetite; for none that are earthly have embraced me, for I am shadowed with the Circle of the Stars and covered with the morning clouds. My feet are swifter than the winds, and my hands are sweeter than the morning dew. My garments are from the beginning, and my dwelling place is in myself. The Lion knoweth not where I walk, neither do the beast of the fields understand me. I am deflowered, yet a virgin; I sanctify and am not sanctified.”

Ellen's psychosexual connection to Orlok in her teenage years described to a T.

“I am an appetite, nothing more.” Orlok says. In the 2016 script, he asked Ellen: “Submit to complete abandon. Submit to yourself, to your power […] I hunger for you. Unite with me in the abyss.” Then he chants a passage from the Enochian Keys. “I cannot be sated without you.”

"A maiden's token I see. Your bride? [...] Liliac. [...] You are fortunate in your love." "Give me her heart, she is mine" metaphorical exchange.

This is an idea that was cooking in Robert Eggers’ mind for some time. We can’t forget this remake of “Nosferatu” was his dream project, and something he always wanted to make. He wanted to get it done after “The Witch” (2015), but it was not possible. So we are talking about a story with a wild amount of research and thought put into it.

In the 2016 script, it’s Herr Knock who “awakes” Orlok via a summoning ritual in the prologue. Orlok takes an interest in Ellen right away (almost unexplainably so), as she has a vision of her marriage to Death on her actual wedding to Thomas. He justifies his interest in her when they meet face-to-face: “I have sought a creature from the depths. A Eve that remembers her Eden. You are such one.” A possible reference to Lilith (also associated with Babalon).

In the 2023 script and in the actual film, it’s Ellen herself who awakes Orlok with her summoning prayer, in the prologue, as well.

They went on to develop a spiritual connection that ends up with sexual astral activity between them. It all ends when she meets and marries Thomas, and if we forget the Female Gothic themes, and focus on the spiritual, it’s probably because she makes an oath before God? Marriage is a holy sacrament. And that’s why she says to Thomas their love was supposed to be sacred?

This provides a better explanation for Orlok interest in her (an atual backstory) and also more fitting with Babalon’s “mother of abominations” and destructive/apocalyptic energy. She’s the one who unleashes Orlok and his blood plague onto the world.

“I have brought this evil upon us.” “His pull on me is so terrible, so strong - yet my spirit cannot be as evil as his.” “I need no salvation. My entire life I have done no ill but heed my nature.”

Is Ellen “evil”? It depends how we interpret it. In Christian religion? Yes. In Thelemic belief, no, because there’s no good nor evil. In Satanism, she’s considered good. So take your pick, here.

We have no detailed backstory on human Count Orlok, really. Other than him being a Hungarian or Romanian nobleman from the 16th century, and one of the Solomonari (from Romanian folklore), a dark wizard, student of the Devil, who rode dragons and controlled the weather, who sought to conquer immortality. We don’t know if he’s suppose to be Vlad III (“Vlad the Impaler”, the infamous “Dracula”) or not because there’s no indication of this in the story.

According to the abbess who tended to Thomas, the Devil kept Orlok’s soul so his corpse might walk again in blasphemy, as a vampire and a “plague carrier”. However, according to Orlok himself, he has been dead for centuries until Ellen, the “enchantress”, awake him from his grave. So, indeed, it was not the Devil who awoke him. What these characters know about Count Orlok are legends and superstitions, really.

O’er [for] centuries, a loathsome beast I lay within the darkest pit, ‘til you did wake me, enchantress, and stirred me from my grave. You are my affliction.

Orlok “search” for a “Eve that remembers her Eden” in the 2016 script (because little was changed in the final result), has me wondering about human Orlok and his magic practices in life (beside the immortality ordeal). Can this un-dead warlock be a nod/reference to Aleister Crowley? He lived obsessed in conjuring Babalon (a ancient and primeval female force) into being. Was this also one of Orlok’s aspirations and why he became so obsessed with Ellen right away, and why they are connected from the start? Because in the prologue, there’s an immediate recognition between them.

And if Ellen is a manifestation of Babalon, was she the one who “made” Orlok into a vampire when she awoke him from his grave? You know, as in “mother of abominations”. This would certainly explain why he calls her “his affliction” and how she can summon him at will (“I bid you, come to me”). Sure, he probably sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for immortality but he was literally dead in a stone sarcophagus. The guy clearly died in the 16th century (his clothes, etc.). And it’s Babalon who rides the beast.

In the 2016 script, Orlok asks Ellen: “Unite with me in the abyss”’ and he compels her to surrender to her own power. The “abyss” is also mentioned in “Revelations 17” as the place where the Beast dwells. In Thelemic tradition, the “abyss” is a metaphysical realm, a void separating the material world from the Divine. Apparently this is where Orlok’s soul was before being resurrected (“darkest pit”). Which lead us back to Aleister Crowley beliefs (who personally identified with the Beast), because he claimed to have crossed the Abyss and battled with its guardian demon, to known Babalon’s embrace.

As I talked about in my original post about Occult references in Ellen’s character in the 2024 adaptation, we see a lot of Babalon/Scarlet Woman elements in her narrative: her “hysterical fits” mirror the ritualistic trances of the “Scarlet Woman” (womb and sexual female energy empower her magic); she walks between the physical and the spiritual worlds, her connection with both “love” and “death”, she’s compared to supernatural creatures (“changeling girl”, “sylph”) and called a priestess of a Divine Feminine Goddess (Isis).

Orlok himself is described as a “beast” several times in the film; both by himself (loathsome beast), and Von Franz, who also mentions Ellen’s “dark bond with the beast”. He even growls and moves like a literal beast. To Crowley, the “Scarlett Woman” and “the Great Beast” are also titles in ritualistic Sex Magick; the “Scarlet Woman” is the High Priestess, and the “Beast” is the Hierophant. Which also fits Ellen (the priestess) and Orlok (warlock, black sorcerer) in “Nosferatu” (2024).

Ellen is also the one who can stop Orlok, according to Von Franz and the entire story. Why? Because it’s Babalon female energy that keeps the male Beast in check, in Thelemic occult tradition. They are complementary energies; creation/destruction; order/chaos; life/death; and so on. Babalon is the one who unleashes the Beast, who controls him and who tames him, like Ellen does with Orlok in the 2024 “Nosferatu” adaptation.

Why are Ellen and Orlok “fated”?

Because the “Great Beast” is destined for spiritual union with the “Great Whore” Babalon. The “Beast” is the consort of Babalon, per Thelemic occult tradition, established in 1904 in “The Book of Law” by Aleister Crowley. Which is why Orlok tells Ellen her passion is bound to him, as Babalon’s love is united with the Beast. Ellen’s destiny is being spiritually united with Orlok, hence why she’s meant for Death (“You are not for the living.”), and why she was so happy marrying Death in her prophetic dream.

“You run in vain! You cannot out-run your destiny!” Von Franz laughs in religious fervor as Thomas tries to save Ellen (I’ll talk about Thomas’ role in all of this shortly).

“Soon I will be no more a shadow to you. Your spirit was never enough. Soon our flesh shall embrace and we shall be as one.”

Babalon and the Beast represent the Mysteries of Polarity, Sex, and “Otherness”. In Thelemic tradition, the “mysteries of sex” = “mysteries of death”. Robert Eggers has said the themes of “sex and death” are central to his adaptation of “Nosferatu”, hence the “Death and the Maiden” motif at the end. So there’s that, too.

“Tonight you denied yourself.” Orlok tells Ellen when they meet face-to-face for the first time. And he gives her three nights for her to, essentially, accept her own nature, a nature she denies (“you deceive yourself”). We have all of these occult themes underneath a vampire horror story, but they are still there.

What’s Orlok purpose? What does “surrender to the darkness” means?

He’s the Beast, after all. He wants to be joined with the earthly manifestation of Babalon, Ellen, who’s his spiritual consort. Which also fits the theme of “bride of Dracula” from Bram Stoker’s story. He wants Ellen to accept her real nature.

From a occultist point of view, the point of Orlok and Ellen’s final scene is not him sucking her blood, nor her apparent superficial sacrifice to save her town (a town who hates her and never accepted her and upon which she unleashed this beast and his blood pague as punishment) It’s about them having sex, their bodily and spiritual union. This is Sex Magick bordelining on Tantric sex.

Ellen (earthy manifestation of Babalon) has sex with Orlok (earthly manifestation of the Great Beast) and she has a powerful orgasm (“her cup […] aflame with love and death”). As Crowley wrote: “in this cup are mingled the elements of the sacrament of the Aeon”. “Aeon” is like a spiritual age. It’s Babalon ecstasy when she has sex with the Beast that manifests the beginning of a new age for mankind, according to Thelemic tradition.

“He is coming” has a whole different meaning now, does it? This walking corpse really traveled miles to have sex with this woman and birth a new age.

And that’s why the sun (Egyptian God Horus) is the end result of Ellen and Orlok’s union. Crowley believed the “Aeon of Horus” (collective) would succeed the “Aeon of Osiris” (religion). The “Aeon of Horus” is the same as the “Age of Aquarius” for “New Age” believers; where mankind will be closer to harmony, egalitarianism, and understanding. Eggers took a 1922 story and gave it an entirely new meaning.

Both Ellen and Orlok make the ultimate blood sacrifice to complete their covenant (by physically dying), because this is a demonic love story, after all. Where did their spirits go? No idea. There’s many theories about the true identity of the “Great Beast”, with some saying it’s the Devil himself. Did they go to the “abyss”, “Hell”, “Underworld”? Probably.

Dove/Serpent and Love

Ellen: “You cannot love.” Orlok: “I cannot. Yet, I cannot be sated without you. Remember how once we were? A moment. Remember?” Ellen: “I abhor you.” Orlok: “You are false! [...] Tonight you denied yourself.”

Many didn’t see any “love” between Ellen and Orlok in this adaptation, but we, once again, have to return to Aleister Crowley Thelema:

“Love is the law, love under will. Nor let the fools mistake love; for there are love and love. There is the dove, and there is the serpent. Choose ye well!" Aleister Crowley, “Book of the Law”

There are several interpretations of what this actually means, but Robert Eggers appears to be going by the Ophidian Thelema interpretation in his adaptation of “Nosferatu”, so that’s what I’m going to be talking about here. 

“There is the dove, and there is the serpent.”

“He is Infinity… Eyes shining like a jewelled diadem. Putrescence. Asphyxience. Devourance. […] He shall cast upon you curses, confusion, affliction and rebuke.” (Pigeons and doves are from the same family bird)

Herr Knock eats the head of the pigeon/dove in a very graphic way in the film, killing it. Dr. Sievers asks him why he does this. There's no verbal explanation. The occult explanation it's him not choosing the "dove" in this Thelemic dichotomy of dove/serpent ("choose ye well!").

The “Dove” is religion and its worship. Crowley saw the "law of the dove” as repressed Christian love: pure and divine. It’s blind and obedient love, taught in religious circles, but also peaceful and harmonious, like the “Holy Spirit”. It’s brotherly love, as well. This is what Herr Knock rejects, and what Ellen has with Thomas and Anna.

“You mustn’t leave, I love you too much!” "My heart is lost without my Thomas." “From our love, I became as normal.” “I love Thomas.” “Our love was supposed to be sacred.” “Let him see. Let him see our love!” 

Thomas and Ellen share pure and Christian love, sanctified by marriage, as they made a holy oath before God (sacrament).

She tries to be the obedient wife (as Anna is to Friedrich), but her passionate nature sometimes betrays her: "The honeymoon was yet too short! Take off your shoes." Friedrich Harding jokes she doesn't want Thomas to be leave because "her dashing young husband is leaving her bedside cold". and calls her nature "ardent". She wants passionate and hungry love: Thomas' pecks and small kisses are not enough for her (as we see in the 2023 script). He also dismisses her worries as "fancies" and part of her medical condition ("melacholia"), and she promises to be "good" for him.

"Leni, your words spring from your honest heart." “I love her. She’s blameless of her malady.” "Our friendship is a precious balm to my heart." / "Thank you for loving me.” 

Anna and Ellen share sisterly love, and while Anna tries to be supportive of Ellen, again, her nature sometimes puzzles the God-fearing Anna, even thought she dismisses it as part of her “condition” like Thomas does: “My sweet romantic” or “Leni, please. For the sake of the children – Christmastide is upon us. Why must you remain so exasperatingly contrary?!”

Like Herr Knock literally kills the pigeon/dove, this is the “love” Orlok means to kill in Ellen's life, as well: “Love is inferior to you.” and “Tonight you denied yourself, and thereby you suffer me to vanish up the lives of those you love.”

The “Serpent” is Spirit with its devotion, wisdom and delight. While the “Dove” descends; the “Serpent” rises. It's the fire from below, kundalini (divine feminine energy from Hindu tantrism) ascending to reach the higher planes, it's Eros, it's lust: erotic sexual love. It’s physical and animalistic expression of love. It’s sexual ecstasy, passionate and hungry love. It’s spiritual and transformative love, the circle of life and death, and rebirth (immortality).

Ellen: I have felt you like a serpent crawling in my body. Orlok: It is not me. It is your nature.

"My vocation is the Serpent", says Babalon. Which explains why Orlok says "love" (as in "law of the dove") is inferior to Ellen. This is the love Ellen and Orlok share, it's beastly, sexual and ravishing love. As she tells Thomas: "You could never please me as he [Orlok] could."

But this side of Ellen is not accepted by Christian society and religion (as we see with every character in the film, aside from Von Franz and Orlok), and causes her deep and great shame. And to understand this, we need to understand the historical context where this story takes place: the Victorian era, where women weren't supposed have sexual desire (even within marriage it should be modest and contain).

“There is something I must tell you. Something so loathsome, so base. […] He is my shame! He is my melancholy! He took me as his lover then, and now he has come back. He discovered our marriage and has come back!”

In Thelemic tradition, the Beast will be harsh once he arrives (duh?), as we see Orlok forcing Ellen to accept her own nature, which is also a part of Thelemic tradition, by the way.

But “love”, according to Crowley, is “harsh” as well, as he defines it as “love may best be defined as the passion of Hatred inflamed to the point of madness, when it takes refuge in Self-destruction.” Which explains why Ellen says she abhors (hates) Orlok: what they had was so intense and passionate “it turned to torture, it would kill me” (self-destruction) as she confesses to Thomas. 

Also, the fact, like she reveals to Von Franz, that her father caught her naked and chastised her as a "sinner" and it’s implied he institutionalized her (in an asylum or something), probably adds to the mix of her seemly hatred for him, since this is a clear reference to masturbation. "I'm unclean!" Ellen cries out.

Orlok cannot love as in the "law of dove", he loves as in the "law of serpent" (I cannot be sated without you). Ellen, as a manifestation of Babalon, loves both ways, because the Dove (Thomas and Anna) is love, and the Serpent (Orlok) is love. At the end, she reconciles with that fact, spiritually.

Orlok: “Do you accept this, of your own will?” Ellen: “I do.” Orlok: “Then the covenant is fulfilled. Your oath re-pledged.” Ellen: “Yes.” Orlok: “As our spirits are one, so too shall be our flesh. You are mine.”

In Thelemic tradition, every action of the Beast is performed out of love under will, because "love is the law", and "do what thou will shall be the whole of the Law".

What does this mean?

“Thelema” literally means “will”, and establishes every person has their own unique, individual and autonomous will. Each individual has the right and responsibility to find out their purpose, and to achieve it. Which explains why Orlok says the compact commands Ellen must willingly re-pledge her vow. “She cannot be stolen.” 

The ordeal of Thomas with the gold and Orlok doesn’t mean anything really, it’s a red herring in the narrative. First, because Thomas and Ellen are married, which is a holy sacrament, and the reason why more fervorous Christians don’t believe in divorce it’s because this sacrament can’t be dissolved, unless by a crime against God.  Adulterous sex with an undead vampire will probably do it.

By Thelemic tradition, Orlok forces Ellen to accept her destiny, as a earthly manifestation of Babalon, fulfilling his own role as the Beast. He removes Ellen's mask and exposes her true nature, and he does this out of love, because love is active and is how one discovers their purpose. Which is why Von Franz speaks about how the “maiden gave her love to the beast” and “redeemed them all”. 

[ladyofthebookcase]

i need to yap about cultural nudity in nine sols NOW. context for new followers is that i watched kill la kill this summer and really enjoyed it and the commentary it made on nudity and the desexualization of the naked body. not sure how i want to structure this so i'll just kind of block it out based on the three main characters that are relevant to this. also when i say "the text" i mean the game of nine sols as a piece of media, like how english majors would refer to the book or movie they're studying. im not an english major but i could be.

goumang: my initial reaction to seeing her was to be like "huh she's not wearing any pants that's weird", followed by "well that's probably normal for solarians, they're cat people after all so it's probably less of a big deal in their culture" and then i just didn't care about it for like the rest of the game until i replayed it and got to her again and went "oh that's right, no one else has their pussy out like that. i guess that's just a goumang thing?" and, while i think it IS probably just a goumang thing to some extent (see the post about her being pussy out because of furgonomics basically/it's comfortable for her bird legs), an interesting thing to note here is yi's complete lack of reaction to it. goumang doesn't interact with any other characters in this outfit (the jiangshi don't count cus they can say like 2 words ok), and it could be argued that yi simply has bigger priorities/is not into women, but i do think it's notable nonetheless that literally zero acknowledgement is made to the fact that goumang is just walking around pussy out. not even non-diagetic elements interact with that at all; she's never censored in her manga cutscenes or posed in a way that either hides or exposes her. what this means is that her nudity isn't really treated like nudity. the text completely ignores it! now, we also know from a dev comment that solarians are matriarchal, which i think definitely ties into the different treatment of goumang and jiequan in this regard (i.e. why he's censored and she's not, from an in-world perspective, probably is similar to the way "women's" chests are censored in our world, although non-diagetically we know why he's censored lmao.)

jiequan: ok hmm. i'm no jiegolar, so i'm open to input on this one, but the element here i find significant is that jiequan is seen interacting with another person (aside from yi) while being naked. the fact that ji is hidden behind a screen is most likely just to obscure their identity (specifically his tall form) from the viewer, since they don't seem to have a problem also going around essentially pussy out the entire game; this is to say, it's not because jiequan is naked. i will say that the jiequan naked scenes have quite a different Vibe than the goumang and lady e scenes (no seriouesly why is that one cutscene so sexually charged help) but i think it's reasonable to chalk that up to 1) jiequan is a freak and 2) he's obsessed with yi so that changes the overall vibe of their interactions as opposed to, say, goumang. yeah i don't really know what i'm saying on this topic i don't have enough jiequan brainrot experience for this really. it does kind of give the vibe of like an emperor chilling in the nude in his palace and he's allowed to do that because he's the emperor though.

hm. yeah let's move onto something i've thought a bit more about.

lady ethereal: now THIS is really interesting to me for a few reasons, the first of which being that yeah, she's hot, and the game treats her as such! and yet at the same time it doesn't oversexualise her, or portray her as attractive at the expense of her personality. in fact, once again yi makes zero acknowledgement of her nudity-- his focus is on her, and that something strange is happening to her. yi also shows no discomfort or shame about entering the hot spring-- there's no "wait, you want me to get naked?!?!?!" moment that some media might have had, and i think that's really good not only because im a sucker for different cultural and hypothetical-cultural interpretations of nonsexual nudity, but also because a moment like that would have been cheesy and annoying and made the scene less serious. the focus of that scene ISN'T that the hot lynx woman is hot, it's that there is something mentally wrong with the hot lynx woman. the fact that these scenes take place at a hot spring without the text ever interacting with the nudity of the characters is to me a really strong argument for the idea that nudity is fairly normal and definitely not inherently sexual for solarians. the idea that it is inherently sexual is a very historically recent and western thing anyway and maybe i just haven't consumed enough media where it's not portrayed that way but i found this portrayal really refreshing ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS WOMEN ok this isn't even in a gay way i literally don't care about bodies like that. i dont having sex. i just think it's really really refreshing and nice for women to be, like, able to have these kind of scenes and character moments without the text reducing the entire scene to "ohh look boobies lol". without them being censored or hypersexualised or made into a joke. rips off shirt to reveal a tattoo on my bare chest that says "I FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT AFAB BODIES BEING TREATED LIKE THEY'RE INHERENTLY SEXUAL AND THE STRONG EMOTION I FEEL ABOUT THIS IS THAT IT FUCKING SUCKS". thank you for reading my essay.

[accio-victuuri]

THE Life of Us/Drifting MUSIC VIDEO IS AMAZING 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I think one can make an entire essay long post trying to explain what the scenes could mean. I’m glad that XZ was able to meet and work with a director like LIN who was able to execute this. I can only imagine the creative ideas XZ had for this and to have someone understand his vision and bring it to life is special. It’s so obvious the time, effort and money spent on this and we got it for free. The entire album is free to listen to. I just. Everything about this drop is such a slap to the antis who said it will be 9 covers and 1 original song but XZ goes bitch hold my beer lemme give all original songs and high quality music videos. oh wait, let me write some of the songs too. let me put in some details in my life there just to make it fun. how about that?!

which leads me to those said details/references that someone has compiled. i’m gonna share it here. 📝

P1: the person climbing a ladder in the clouds is something he drew before. I’m proud of him cause this idea of his has been realized. this reminds me of jack and the beanstalk!

P2: the books are design related. i’d like to think it’s his favorite go-to books!

P4: Knitting yarn! XZ knits!

P5: this is pretty obvious and recurring theme when it comes him - the little prince 🌹

P6: more of a comparison from when he was designer xz to now. he was wearing something similar.

P7: Life of Us = Life of Pi. Which is explained more in P8. OP mention that the main character Pi said when writing in his diary: "Everything has become chaotic and broken, I can no longer distinguish between daydreams, sleep, and reality.” The movie/book is a story about a young man who survived a shipwreck and drifted on the sea.but the deeper level seems to be a discussion about human nature, animal nature, and divinity. It’s about the struggle between ego, id, and superego.That tiger may be Pi's heart. What is drifting on the sea, for Pi, is me and "I"; and Pi, It seems to be the epitome of every "us". Finally, Pi told more than one version of the story, and he asked: "Which version do you prefer?" In fact, the choice of the story has always been "me".

"Life of Us/Drifting" sings "What is a dream, what is my greatest fear" "What is a dream, what is what I want most" It’s a question about your own heart, and only you can give the answer.

P9: that scene in the movie ET

additional ones, his favorite paper plane making an appearance and a similar shot from the animated film castle in the sky.

and i noticed that one take where you can see some vintage things like the telephone, but i realized that xz is almost the same age as me so these are things we grew up using!

i’m sure there are more details here and not to mention the hidden meanings too. but that is what makes this video so fun to watch multiple times! you can discover something new each time! I hope they release some behind the scenes on how this was created and all that. i think there should be a documentary of sorts connected to this album if i remember correctly. so yeah! so much more in store for is when it comes to this album 😊

[kisssaturn]

Follow me to the rabbit hole of the Anuradha Nakshaktra 🕳️ 🐇 🐾

I got inspired by Anuradha threads from Talia🦋 (@Astrotalaya) & @opalblade blade on tumblr

I found helpful posts from different sources I linked them below so you guys can check them out they’re awesome.

Anuradha diety is Mithra god of sun & is the god of friendship.

Anuradha is ruled by Mars & Saturn. Mars is known for survival, aggression, action and courage like a warrior.

Saturn represents discipline, obstacles, lessons and time.

The director of Si-Fi movie “Lucy“, has Jupiter in Anuradha. “Lucy” is played by Scarlet Johansson she’s a Anuradha sun, she’s a Anuradha asc like @opalblade mentions on her post & Claire Nakti.

The lyrics remind me of Mitra as they mention the sun and I also found out Miley Cyrus who is also a Anuradha sun did a cover to this song :)

The article noted that the song is a known reference to LSD. They mention Lucy experience sounds like someone coming down from a LSD trip. It made me recall the Anuradha theme of Alice in the wonderland. Alice follows the rabbit to the rabbit hole. (Anuradha animal yoni is a Hare bigger than a rabbit but similar.) Alice consumes a mysterious cake that has side effects for example making her really tall. The article states in the end “Alice enters the twenty-first century, there’s no sign of her influence abating. She seems to be everywhere at once” Similar to Lucy.

https://x.com/tia_visagie/status/1833259302406209752?s=46

^ She explained the connection between Anuradha and Saturn in detail.

This article “The Hidden Spirituality of Lucy” explained the movie very well and its connection with the evolution of species and human consciousness.

In the beginning of the movie they show clips of animals in the wild, prey vs predator describing the situation Lucy would find herself in. After witnessing her boyfriend being shot dead, she is captured and forced to become a drug mule. Anuradha is a Scorpio Nak the rasi is mars. Lucy was led to intense situations, in need of perseverance and survival instincts. One bag of the CPH drug is sewn into her abdomen for transport to Europe. However, she is kicked in the stomach, breaking the bag and releasing a large quantity of the drug into her system. Lucy’s cells began a process of mutation transmuting her physical and mental capabilities, with time she reached higher levels of consciousness going from 10%-100%. What came in mind was a Saturn quote “With great power, comes great responsibility.” Lucy acquires enhanced physical and mental capabilities, such as telekinesis, telepathy, and mental time travel. Lucy negated her emotions. She was able to regenerate and use the drug to transform herself even her looks.

Themes of phoenix,regeneration, accession & deccession like Talia explains in her posts.

Lucy needed advice on what to do with all the knowledge she has. She asks Professor Norman he tells her she should share her knowledge & ignorance is worse than not sharing it. “The whole purpose of life has been to pass on what we learned, and there is no higher purpose.” When’s Lucy said, “I don’t feel pain, fear, desire, it’s like all things that make us humans fade away, it’s like the less human I feel all this knowledge about everything,quantum physics applied mathematics the infinite capacity of a cells nucleus.” Reminded me about how Ketu feels more comfortable in Scorpio because Ketu is linked with detachment/seperatin & letting go. This article below explains what Ketu is associated with they mention ”Ketu is often associated with the concept of moksha or liberation from the cycle of birth and death. It is believed that a strong Ketu placement can lead a person towards spiritual liberation and ultimate freedom.“ Some astrologers say Ketu exalts in Scorpio because Scorpio is about deep, intense/extreme situations & letting go, surrendering and things related to spirituality. Lucy also says we never really die throughout the movie.

Lucy says in the movie “Every cell knows and talks to every other cell. ”They exchange a thousand bits of information between them per second. Cells group together forming a giant web of communication, which in turn, forms matter.”

https://x.com/maxdemlan/status/1860000754859487578?s=46

Lucy mentions “web of time” & “without time we don’t exist” ,“time is unity” it coincides with Anuradha for its devotion and it being the star of friendship with Saturn being a co ruler of Anuradha along with mars, Saturn rules time. Lucy obtained a venom spider abilities Anuradha has a connection with spiders.

Clairnakti made a post about the actors who play Spider-Man & the girls from Madem Web have Anuradha placements.

The article “Lucy: An Underrated Summer Blockbuster Overflowing With Brains & Complexity” said Lucy is like Spider-Man “Like Spider-Man after the iconic spider bite, Lucy is reborn within her old skin—privately transformed into a fully-embodied mutant. “

Lucy was dragged to a place she didn’t want to be in but ended up attaining higher consciousness. Themes of (descension & ascension like Talia mentions).

A symbol for Anuradha is the Lotus flower. 🪷 Lotus flowers can’t grow without the mud they need the mud in order to grow. The lotus has a connection to the Ajna chakra the third eye, the movie theme was her activating her mind / consciousness.

^The thread is also very interesting.

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A post shared by Neven Paar (@wingedshoespublishing)

Anuradha has a connection with kundalini in his post he states, “Once the kundalini rises from the Muladhara, it seeks to leave out the body through the crown, resulting in Sahasrar’s Petals unfolding like a flower ready to receive the Light.” “Sahasrar is named the “Thousand Petalled Lotus” because there are theoretically a thousand Petals, each connected to with countless minor Nadis or energy channels that carry Pranic energy from different areas of the Body of Light that terminate in the head area.”

Talia also posted that Anuradha constellation looks like a serpent.

Claire Nakti also has made an article about this Nak she explains that Anuradha can ”understand the secrets behind scriptures, that are written in code..”

Lucy mentally begins a spacetime journey into the past, eventually reaching one of the oldest discovered ancestor of mankind, Del Rio asks Norman where Lucy is, immediately after which Del Rio's cell phone sounds and he sees a text message: "I am everywhere." Lucy's voice is heard stating "Life was given to us a billion years ago. Now you know what to do with it."

Lucy was able to evolve to her highest potential of her existence in the movie. This relates to Anuradha themes of accession, transforming & evolving. Going through the tough situations & ego death, Lucy was able to bloom admists challenging situations she had a powerful determination like the lotus flower.🪷🪷

Lucy 2 is in the works right now I’m excited I’m hoping it’s just as good as the 1st one.

Hope you guys enjoyed🐰

[purplemoonabove]

Sooo the writer in me finally woke up from my obsession and here’s what she came up with:

Picture this: Part 2 of Wicked, with a post credit scene.

The audience see Glinda arriving into her bedroom, tired but also ready for a new tomorrow as she gets ready for bed. Only to pause at the sight on her vanity: a black rose, no stem and sitting [center] in front of her mirror, [also aligning with her standing reflection when seeing it].

Confused, she looks about and only see her window, opened but hardly enough space to let a single rose in. Now cautious, she heads over to the vanity, reaching - then pausing, hesitating - then reaching out to touch and pick up. Only to gasp and drop it as the flower’s petals turn color — black to pink. She then recognized the flower, being the exact to the one she placed in Elphaba’s hair [during the Popular song, before claiming Elphaba as beautiful].

Overwhelmed by emotions, she freezes as her eyes tears up, but breaks out of it when the window door opens further to let the wind in, causing the flower to shift and Glinda to catch it in time before it could fall. Holding it in her palm, [Ariana makes] Glinda feels a sense of calming [Imagine that a sensory touch of Elphaba’s magic is on her palms, a tiny lingering that gives off the idea of her living and as it fades, it also implies her being hidden from Oz but now Glinda is aware of it].

A mix of happiness and sadness lays at her growing smile, later placed aside next to an emerald object [I’m thinking a broach, just a random black jewelry with a large emerald in the center that can remind her of Elphaba that she found somewhere without anyone questioning and/or noticing] near the mirror. Touching a petal, then tracing down to touch the emerald, a single tear shed but her smile stays as she then gets up, closing the window door and returning to get ready for bed.

[The camera view then lays at the two unique objects, symbolizing their personalities and existence - the objects a near swap of their respective beings’ personalities - that would be odd to see together but somehow worked. Then, from the audience’s perspective, as we hear the instrumental work playing, we reached a part where [Ariana and Cynthia’s off screen voices] Glinda and Elphaba sings a synchronized note to one word — “Unlimited”. The word bears a key note that gives the end of their story to the audience, as well a reference to Part 1 when both girls sung the word separately in Defying Gravity. Also off screen (CGI, really), the sunset then lays at the objects, the emerald shining in a near glow from the light (symbolizing how much Glinda means to Elphaba even when apart for good – get it? 🙃🥲 – as well Elphaba’s escape from the Emerald City during a sunset, and how the whole experience started with the use of the green bottle). And after the instruments lead the movie to its final end as the screen fades to black…]

DUDE.

I would CRY if this actually could happen! And would also call it first!

I AM OBSESSED!!