#motherfucking doge

[jadedanddark]

Please i am begging you bring this to California

Source

[1theneighborhoodcoffeeaddict1]

3/17/25

[sharkangelic]

You are not telling me that there is talk of selling Tiktok to the muskrat

[generalkenobitrash]

OH MY GOD GUYS A POLITICIAN IN LITHUANIA (where i'm from) HAS JUST BEEN MAJORLY pranked, and it's related to M*sk.

For context:

This is Remigijus Žemaitaitis.

He is the very controversial leader of a very controversial party that is part of the current Lithuanian ruling coalition in the Parliament. He has already been in trouble with the law due to his antisemitic remarks on Facebook, which led to him resigning from the Parliament before they could kick him out via impeachment for breaching the constitution. His political party is basically a soft version of the German AFD.

So, the story goes like this:

This mfer has been in corresponde with a Ryan Riedel, claiming to be from DOGE, but actually the Energy Department CIO. Their correspondence happened through personal emails ("Riedel" wrote to him through a yahoo account lmfao) for discretion. They had been in correspondence over the mfer coming to the US for a private meeting with various American politicians, Musk included, in NY. He was offered plane tickets, accomodation and was even offered to see a musical for entertainment. The total cost of the trip was to be around 30k euros. Mr. Žemaitaitis obtained the Lithuanian Parliament's permission to go to the US for personal reasons, accompanied by his wife. Prior to agreeing to the private meeting, Žemaitaitis was asked to renounce the Lithuanian President's critiques of the current USA administration and express his support for Tr*mp and V*nce, whilst keeping the arrangement confidential. SO WHAT THIS MOTHERFUCKER DID, was to go to his Facebook account and IMMEDIATELY start sharing Vance's posts and spouting support for Tr*mp.

And like that, the day for his departure arrived, but problems arose when he came to the departure terminal in Vilnius Airport. Turns out, his and his wife's tickets DID NOT EXIST!! and then this pathetic excuse of a politician fled the airport before the press could mock him to death.

He was basically giddy at the prospect of meeting M*sk. And now the whole country's laughing at him. The correspondence was leaked entirely. He could technically be accused of treason, since "Ryan Riedel" asked him if he could be a middleman between the US and the R*ssian Embassy in Lithuania, to which he declined, but the point stands. The man was about to go on a fictional holiday for "diplomacy", with the country's Parliament knowing none of it.

So yeah, thanks for reading. I did my best to summarize the situation in English. Have a good day, wherever you are.

P.S.: I know this deviates from my usual type of content, but this was too fucking funny not to share

[circlebuttons]

Blacklisted- Rafe Cameron x reader

A/N: I will probably rewrite this but i have so many finished fics that are taking up space

On the coolest day of the heatwave that had struck the outer banks all you wanted was to go smoke in the woods, but when your usual plug and five more after him ghost you, it only takes a little bit of poking around to figure out why.

You leave the last rickety trailer that was your last attempt at buying weed, slamming the door to your little car hard enough to make it shake and floor it all the way Tannyhill, where all of your problems stem from.

You push through the front door and stomp all the way upstairs, running into Barry coming out of the hallway bathroom as you rush towards the patio.

"Country club! Your girlfriends here!" Barry immediately blocks your path and calls for Rafe at the sight of your furrowed brows and clenched fist.

"Not his girlfriend" you mumble, pushing past him and walking towards the patio table you thought Rafe would be around .

Before you can push open the glass doors Barry grabs hold of your wrist, "You know you can't go over there"

You look down at his hand over your wrist let out a heavy sigh, "Oh my god Barry, be for real."

"What's wrong baby?" Rafe's voice comes from behind you two and is sweet and full of concern as if he doesn't know why you're paying him a visit. Your heads to snap towards the corner he comes around. You can see the scowl forming on his face as he slowly lifts Barry's hand off your wrist with a raised eyebrow.

"Not letting your "not girlfriend" bum rush my stash" He responds throwing up his hands in a surrender and throwing himself down in the furthest patio chair.

Rafe brushes him off, putting all of his attention on you as his hands reach down to hold you at your waist. "No kiss?" he asks, cocking his head to the side, finding it strange that you didn't greet him with much affection, regardless of your relationship status.

"Did you tell every goddamn dealer on this island to not sell to me?" You ask him, looking up with a cold pointed stare.

"Who were you tryna buy from?" He fires back almost instantly, ignoring your question completely.

"Hey dumbass! Don't answer a question with a fucking question" You spit out at him, while pushing at his chest to create distance.

Barry stands from his chair and mumbles, "Should I just go?"

"Sit. I'm leaving soon." You tell him pointing back at the chair, then turning back to your ex boyfriend, "Rafe."

"Baby, you know I-" He cuts himself off with a sigh, instantly raising a red flag to you that he was looking for a cop out answer.

"Go ahead and lie, so I can punch you dead in your shit" The threat is empty, you and Rafe had your own issues seeing as he was emotionally abusive and you were just as much verbally, which often included passionate threats.

Your angers fuels his own as he raises his voice back, "Oh my god fucking sue me if I did! You cant trust what anybody sells"

"You Motherfucker! You know I only buy weed" you go to hit at his chest again, but he doges you, lightly grabbing your wrists.

"These days can't trust that either." He says with a hint of a smirk growing on his face when you pull your hands away from him.

"Jesus Christ, I fucking hate you" You walk away from him shaking your head, causing him to follow you closely behind.

"Who put all this in your head anyways, who were you tryna buy from?" He asks again, head hanging over your shoulder.

His question and even the causality of his tone makes you turn around at an instant. "I'm not your girlfriend anymore, why the hell do you care?"

"Yo dumbass, you cant answer a question with a question" He responds with your own words, almost making your eye twitch at the sound of it.

The weight in the room increases, making Barry throw his head in his hands and groan to himself, "fucking headaches."

You both ignore him, as you swallow the hypocritical hurt of having Rafe talk to you in the same manner. "Sharky snitched on your bitch ass instantly" You're no longer yelling at him, but your words are laced with venom.

Rafe pushes his tounge against the inside of his mouth as he silently signals to Barry to get up. You just as quickly make him sit back down, not wanting your favorite alternative dealer to be tracked down and harassed because of your messy relationship.

Rafe watches you closely as you force Barry to sit, "Sharky really? You know I don't want you around him." You can tell you've struck bigger nerve of his by the way he fidgets. You have no inkling of attraction towards this other guy, but man do you like to see Rafe sweat.

"Oh really?" You dramatically throw your head to the side "Well I didn't like you around that slutty kook but she made her way into your lap eventually, so I actually don't give two shits about what you want." you complete the statement with over the top hand gestures.

His eyes close and he breathes through his nose, "You're still stuck on that?"

"Like glue sweetheart." your tone is condescending as you make clear you're firm in your beliefs.

Rafe runs his fingers through his hair frustrated and then calls for his uncomfortable friend with wild hand gestures "Barry was there! He can tell you nothing happened"

Barry lifts his head up from his hands, "I-"

"Barry shut the fuck up!" you immediately dismiss him, and turn back to Rafe "and you can go to hell!"

"Don't yell at Barry! Or me! I didn't fuck her!" he basically screams out of frustration.

"I didn't say you did, unless you have something you need to admit Rafe." You stand firm with your arms crossed.

Screaming is getting him no where, he pinches the bridge of his noise and starts to speak with artificial calmness. "I did not cheat on you, I was high, all I did was sit there."

"This time." you mutter rolling your eyes.

"This time? Should we talk about what you did on the main land or are you just gonna tell me to shut the fuck up" he says putting his fist on his hips as his composure starts to slip again.

"Shut the fuck up Rafe, she left a hickey on your neck for fucks sake! I let one guy do a body shot off me and you're about to bury yourself"

"Hey Bar, did that pouge or did that pouge not basically lick salt off her tits before said body shot, because I know I'm not crazy?"

"She told me to shut the fuck up." he says definitively.

"My god" Rafe exhales annoyed.

"Yeah, my god. I have shit to do, if i can't get a pre roll by tonight it's both of your asses." you say, turning around to leave. In your peripheral you can see barry throw his arms up at being tied in with rafe.

"You can be mad at me for keeping my girl safe." He says shrugging his shoulders, forming his words in a way that twists the narrative, like usual.

"Bullshit! You don't care about my safety, you care about control." you turn back around to accuse him, "You don't want me buying weed from anyone else, why? Because you were just my dealer too until we fucked raw? Or is it just because you're so desperate for me to talk to you."

"I do care about your safety, that's not bullshit." he say's obviously annoyed, blatantly ignoring everything else you said.

"You're a piece of shit Rafe Cameron." As soon as you say it you know you don't mean it but relentless verbal assault never fails to egg him on in arguments, without it he just gives you smug answers and brushes you off, pretending to be nonchalant.

Your insult is exactly what tips him over the edge. "You've stayed on the opposite side of the island for a month! We've broken up a thousand times and you've never gone no contact. What type of shit is that? You just want me to be okay with not seeing you? talking to you?" This time when he yells his eyes widen, no longer flashing the same crazy in his eyes that used to filled you with adrenaline, but instead filled with hurt. You cutting contact had genuinely hurt him and he obviously didn't know how to handle it.

"I don't know what to do anymore rafe. We aren't healthy for each other. We both have a lot of growing to do that can't happen if we don't set boundaries. I need space Rafe, please." You plead with him, desperately missing how fast he usually is to crumble at your pleases.

"I gave you space for a whole month and I know it doesn't depend on my terms but it's torture for me. I won't text you or call you or pop up anywhere, but can you at least come here every so often to get your weed, free of charge." He's speaking to you softly and before you know it you're letting him hold you by your waist, but the little voice in the back of your head is incessant to remind you that you can't just kiss and make up. Boundaries need to be set.

"I don't want handouts from you, I don't want to have to do anything for your sake. I want to be able to go buy drugs or do normal shit without property of rafe cameron on my forehead"

"I get it. You don't want me controlling you wether we're together or not, and I may have had a lapse in judgment" he says anxiously rubbing at the nape of his neck.

"You always have a lapse in judgment, then you apologize and expect everything to be fine" you add, starting to bite at your lips

"Baby, i'm trying" he pleads.

"If you're really trying you'd respect my boundaries even when we're broken up."

He pauses at the last part "Okay, I hear you, i'll genuinely try to"

"Thank you" you huff out, relieved to finally reach a satisfying point in the conversation.

"I'm sorry for being controlling and blacklisting you." Rafe apologizes, his thumb making circles on your lower back as he does.

"Apology accepted, I'm sorry for all the name calling." You meekly apologize as well.

"Apology accepted, I still don't want you going no contact though" he adds kissing your forehead.

"I just told you space is healthy for us" you whine hitting his shoulder

"Space and becoming nonexistent are two different things." He says firmly and you look up at him with knowing eyes.

"I won't cut all contact if you don't invade my privacy" you tell him, bartering for your peace.

"I've learned my lesson, I won't. Promise"

"So I can go buy weed on my part of the island now?" you ask hopefully.

"No. Those guys are paid off for a while sweetheart." he smirks

"Rafe."

"You don't even have to talk to me. I'll silently hand it to you and you can leave immediately after. Just let me see you, please."

"Okay, but let barry get it. I'm still mad and I still don't want shit from you"

"I hear you princess" he responds with his hands surrendered, "I really am sorry" he speaks softly before pulling your chin up and kissing you. It's sad how quickly you open your mouth and let his tongue swipe through.

"I know, 'm still not your girlfriend." you tell him breaking the kiss before he can deepen it any more.

"I know" he says under his breath quickly before reconnecting your lips and letting his hands travel down your back.

"Why'd y'all break up again?" Barry asks, bringing your pre rolls to you per request.

"Can't stop cheating on each other." You both say simultaneously as you take them from his hand and put them in your purse.

[cecethelesbian]

I hate this country. The FBI or ICE or DOGE or the fucking Gestapo can come take me if they want but i hate this shit country. Are your eggs cheaper yet??? All 10 trans NCAA athletes have been banned. Is your cheese less expensive??? President Elon has your social security number now. Is this what makes a country motherfucking great? Sieg heils, book burnings, children being harassed by K-9 units on the bus on their way to a school they might not come home from? Fuck this shit.

[allthepeculiarthings]

jk rowling got me so confused. so elphias doge said that voldemort was supposedly as important to all of magic history as the introduction of the statue of secrecy and dumbledore and grindelwald's duel (aka the end of wizarding world war two) ????? what. ??????? all we see in the books is voldemort fucking up england. what the FUCK was this motherfucker doing off screen to be considered so significantly evil internationally?? i have to know. i NEED to know.

[muddypolitics]

(via Treasury official retires after clash with DOGE over access to payment system - Ars Technica)

this could be one of the scariest things so far...

A longtime Treasury Department official is leaving his job after a dispute with Elon Musk's Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), which has reportedly been seeking access to federal payment systems.

"The highest-ranking career official at the Treasury Department is departing after a clash with allies of billionaire Elon Musk over access to sensitive payment systems," The Washington Post reported today, citing three people familiar with the matter.

motherfucker

[x-brik-x]

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

don't make it plausible please. even if you put some bullshit at the end to give away that it was all fake, if you put ANYTHING they can use against minorities in there, they WILL use it. they don't care that you said "haha jk this didn't happen fuck you elon" at the end. if you said something plausible, they'll rip it out of its original context and use it against minorities. remember, DOGE is not a government branch; it is a violent and dangerous criminal organisation. they won't go "awh it was fake, we can't use that now." because they DON'T CARE IF THE INFORMATION THEY SPREAD IS TRUE. if it helps them to hurt minorities, they'll use it, no matter what. if you want to waste their time, make a paragraph that sounds like you're genuinely concerned about *something*, and then reveal that your "concern" is actually that shadow the hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker and he pissed on your fucking wife. you also CAN and SHOULD send the bee movie script. the entire reason people used to do that so much is because it's so long it can crash entire websites and internet servers.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Remember: the more difficult you make it for them to realize a report is false, the more useless you make the portal.

[meanderingandrambling]

My gf and I have been working through the national gallery and since it’s so nice out we stopped at the sculpture garden first. It was really crowded today but what’s more there were way more maga motherfuckers than I’ve seen in a long time, including one lady wearing a doge hat.

Given the demographics of the city I hope they feel the ambient hatred at all times. Trump has made no secret of how he feels about the city and the feeling is mutual. I feel bad for everyone in the service industry who has to deal with their shit.

In an interesting contrast the temporary exhibit we were visiting was about 1970s photography, much of which was about by and about Black people, queer folks, and ladies. They talked a lot about marginalization and progress and the like.

Obviously this exhibit had been in the work for a long while (and was fairly anodyne all things considered) but I was thinking about the way the right talked at the npr/pbs hearing. I suspect that is the last of such exhibits there will be for a long while.

[hislittleraincloud]

lol one of those cancel PHW weirdos made a thread of his fans tweets and one of the ones included had “dumbass motherfucker” in it and they called that a slur…these are the type of people getting thousands of views and likes based on lying about other people by the way

They are the ones keeping screenshots of peoples tweets and PHW’s likes and tweets because they’re obsessed. It’s fucking insane.

Also, how is dumbass a slur? Oh wait, it’s not, they probably just got so hurt and offended by what the person said because they know it’s true: they are in fact, dumbasses. 💀

"Dumb" is the part of the word that is slurful to them.

Check out this retar — erm, dense shit that makes me want to stick an icepick up my nose:

And look at what they want you to do about it all:

We can't fucking say barren anymore because it's ableist towards women who can't conceive/have kids and we can't fucking say that we're obsessed with something because it's ableist towards those with OCD, is that fucking where we're fucking at? Oh Hell to the fucking no, this is soooo

Retarded! It is stupidly fucking retarded.

Dumb as fuck as well.

I will not cease calling Donald Trump or Elon Musk batshit crazy psychos.

I'm OCD about words.

Weird shit happening ONCE AGAIN because on my screen RIGHT NOW: "Would you rather I be obsessed with horses and boy bands?" (GASP, Mejia FAILED to change that to "enamored" in his socially conscious re-write! BAD SJW, BAD!)

I'm ADD with all of my writing.

Language policing to this degree is fucking lame, and so am I since I walk with a ✨mobility aid✨ (cane).

What's going on right now with Musk and the DOGE incels is prime blind-leading-the-blind.

But I fear my fucking point will fall on deaf ears. And blind eyes. And dumbass brains.

It's too fucking bad that all of Trump's wives weren't barren.

The election has brought crippling fear and depression to millions of Americans. And my cane is my cripple stick.

My old boy who passed in September was the biggest derpy dog and whoever is trying to manage the language that I choose to describe him can go fuck right off.

Did I do it right?

I hate whoever came up with this shit, including the shitbirds at Harvard (one dude actually whined about calling Trump a psycho). They're the reason why conservatives have been opening their fat traps and wanting to dismiss higher education/dissuade people from obtaining an education that will prevent them from voting like a fucking idiot.

And despite the past few days, I don't enjoy this half as much as you think I do. It took a whole lot of fucking dumbass stupidity to even get me to snap with 'retarded' in the first place.

I don't have the goddamn time or space in my already anxious brain to coddle anyone's fucking fees. It's goddamn tiresome.

The only words anyone should really fucking concern themselves with are racial, anti-Semitic, xenophobic and homo/transphobic epithets, since those are the ones that are immediate threats when expressed the way they usually are (yes, Hitler wanted to exterminate the disabled, but grown white guys chasing after some dude in a wheelchair and screaming "CRIPPLE!!!" isn't a thing***...no one's ever tried to kick my ass for using a cane, but I've been fucked royally for sexuality and race). The guys who would punch so far down like that are obvious sacks of shit (like the MAGAts who made fun of Tim Walz's autistic kid), so we don't bother with them.

Zomg Tor, how can you be such an abelist disabled p —

SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I WILL START BEATING PEOPLE WITH MY FUCKING MOBILITY AID CANE

Also this was supposed to be published yesterday too, but sometimes when I'm typing up posts I just get sick of the thought of people niggling about WORDS when they can barely speak/type the language themselves...and then I get sick of people...and then I just hit Save Draft and roll back over/try to sleep it off.

***No, we're not seriously threatened by the average white guy; a lot of them are personally touched by autistic and disabled people so they don't go all in on that one issue. But rich white guys will take away our medical care without any further insults because they know, and we know, that it will kill us. The average white dude needn't say shit. I don't care if someone calls me names or uses bad words around my disability. I do care when they're actively trying to destroy my life and kill me.

[eruhamster]

as a kid learning abt ww2 i felt a little bad for the people who were, as they said, 'just following orders,' and obviously i grew up and understood why that's the thinking of a child, but i don't think i fully appreciated just how much they deserved to be punished till this past month. every motherfucker from any of the agencies that DOGE is targeting who falls in line because they're scared of losing their job deserves to be behind bars. they're literally the reason why this shit happens in the first place.

one fascist bastard can't do it alone, they're literally the pillar that keeps the plan afloat. the people bending the knee and sending out emails that "DEI" is banned and people in the DHS that even used the trump-esc rhetoric when announcing they were firing FEMA workers who just did their motherfucking job. i think i hate those motherfuckers most of all.

[pigbutt]

This is underselling it, he was literally publicly handing out $1 million dollar checks to vote for the republican candidate. His PACs offered $100 for signing petitions opposing “activist judges” and paid $20 to anyone willing to pose with a cardboard cutout of Schimel giving a thumbs up—doubling that payment if it was done outside a polling place, which is highly illegal, but the Court decided not to prosecute him over. on twitter he was boasting that you could make over $1000 in a day just by voting and evangelizing the republican candidate.

and he still lost.

this motherfucker is so cringe and unlikeable that the republicans are saying that despite the literal dozens of millions of dollars he spent, his presence cost them the race because people hate him more than they love money.

Trump told his aides musk is leaving DOGE soon.

It's also important to note that a huge amount of the money went into anti-trans attacks and ads, and their democratic opponent Susan Crawford emphasized her commitment to upholding the law and enforcing protections against transgender discrimination. This shows that the people are not swayed by the anti-trans panic and shows that Democrats can win elections without throwing trans people under the bus, as some seem to believe.

I take immense schadenfreude in Elon Musk spending $25 million to try to influence an election in Wisconsin only for the candidate he was backing to lose by a larger margin than was predicted before Musk got into the race. Like how tf do you dump that much money into a state supreme court election and get not only nothing out of it but LESS than nothing. That's a truly impressive level of failure. I'm watching Elon become the most hated man in America like the Sickos yes hahaha yes comic

[toehwa6]

So I’m currently emotionally overwhelmed by a good deed I did

I pulled up to a red light and this homeless guy was there and I was like naw not today but then I looked down and saw he had a dog but then I saw a service animal vest and I was like wtf that your service dog and he was like yeah

So I threw him a 5 and was like peace

But as I’m driving away I’m thinking about locking eyes with that dog and just thinking

Man. That dog is a professional. And now it’s homeless

I wasn’t mad at the owner or anything. Just really upset that one of those dogs ended up in that situation

I’m starting to cry again just thinking about it

Before this I went back up and was like profession mode myself and I was like yo what do you need

I asked if he was hungry and what he needed and shit and then I was like

And WHAT DOES THAT DOGE EAT ??

But I was like naw fr do you have dog food and everything you need

I asked if he knew what the giant eagle hot food was and he was like idk do they have chicken fingers

So I laughed and was yeah you you fuck with max n cheese?

He’s like yeah so I said I was gonna get him some of that too

I told him I was getting him so fuckin hoagie or something so he could eat later

The dog was fantastic btw

A little unprofessional if you ask me lol

But anyway I go and get the shit and pull back up

And the dogs like omg wtf

So I’m like how about you come over here and get this and he was like okay and left the dog but I was like FUCK THAT bring the doge

So this motherfucker runs across the run and into the parking and is just losing its mind all over it

It was fantastic

Then I opened my car door and was like this is what I got and his fuckin dog hopped in the car and was being really funny

Dawg I’m literally losing my mind writing this rn I’m so upset I hate hate hate to see shit like this

I gave him our advocate info and was like call this when you get the phone

So I said alright bye LET ME PET THE DOG ONE MORE TIME

Then I fist bumped him and was sorry I couldn’t do more fr

And dawg now it’s hot as fuck outside and I can’t stop thinking about it

I’m just telling myself I did the most that I can without straight just bringing the dude with me

Idk hopefully just helped him a little

Idk

Fuck ugh

[jakebark]

drew jake a little more realistically! sometimes i just want to show off his actual colors/markings