#motherfucker that last one? i get why ash was struggling

[darlin-collins]

nah bc these are the poses alexis was pulling out in that yoga class 😭

[honkceasar]

Hi I have an absolutely insane amount of random ass pd headcanons that I’ve decided to unleash onto the world today so here’s part one of my insanity!!!

-Ashe plays guitar, can’t remember if this is canon or not honestly

-Will taught himself guitar after Ashe got possessed, tries to learn his favorite songs (absolutely CANNOT play my famed disappearing act, much to his dismay)

-Will collects and cures bones as a hobby, has a necklace with Henny’s skull on it and a couple bones from Vyncent’s world

-Ashe is that genre of autistic person that doesn’t make a lot of facial expressions, so the most uncanny part of the trickster is seeing these over the top expressions on her face that he personally would NEVER make

-William is a horrible driver because he has glasses and refuses to wear them (this is also why he doesn’t yell at Dakota to wear his, he’d be a hypocrite)

-William likes to sew but he’s so unbelievably slow at it. He wants to have like proper patch pants, but it takes him too fucking long to put that many on there so instead his pants only have a couple patches on them made with old jeans and fabric paint

-Vyncent would def do horseback riding as a hobby, he probably misses when he would do it at home

He’s also definitely brought the boys with him to do his horse girl shit

-Ashe is really good at drawing!!!! I feel like she’d be one of those people that has a killer marker collection but doesn’t use them that often cause he does digital art

-William is absolutely addicted to caffeine you can’t tell me he isn’t

-While Ashe was gone Vyncent took his beanie and William stole like all his fucking clothes. They’re all too big but he doesn’t care, nor does he plan on giving any of them back

-Dakota definitely has chew necklaces but they don’t last long cause he fucking destroys them

-Vyncent and Dakota both vocal stim so fucking loud dude (I can’t decide if I think Will does too because Charlie does irl or if William actually would)

-Dakota gets night terrors about Williams death

-Dakota struggles with reading but he likes audio books, he’d probably listen to some with Ashe’s headphones when they’re on a particularly long road trip. Idk what type of books he’d like though. I could see him liking the Percy Jackson series but I can’t explain why

-Vyncent’s one of those guys that wears layers no matter the weather and somehow never gets too hot

William also wears layers when it’s hot out but he’ll be sweaty as a motherfucker and like. Dying

-William was a tech theatre kid, definitely ran lights and got very specific about color washes

-Dakota used to be a babysitter before the hero stuff to make some extra cash, he’s always been good with kids

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #198

When was the last time you read a whole book, to the last page exactly? Very recently, I read regularly.

Have you ever begged the opposite sex for anything at all? To stay with me, yes. Which I'll die before I do again.

Do you know anyone who claims to have the ability to see the future? No, which I'm grateful for, because I'd be concerned about anyone who did think this.

Can people read your facial expressions easily? If so, why is this? Yes, because I don't hide emotions well.

When you go to the movies, do you actually watch the movies or not? ???????????? ticket prices bro??????????? concession prices bro????????????????????? I'm watching the damn movie lmao

Have you ever had one of those major fights with your current bf/gf? No major ones, no. Our very few instances that could count as arguments were small scale and settled quickly. We prioritize healthy communication.

Does it scare you when the sky gets really cloudy and dark during the day? Yes, because of how terrified of tornadoes I am.

What was the last amusement park you went to? Did you have fun? It was a town fair-like thing many, many years ago. I did have fun, but it's a bittersweet memory because this event was very close to when Jason and I split. It may have even been the same night, but I can't remember perfectly.

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? Not that I remember.

Do you have Pop-Tarts in your house right now? No. I LIKE them, they're just such empty calories, so we don't buy them. I'm hungry so shortly after eating them.

Is anyone’s birthday coming up? Yeah, my youngest niece has her birthday in a few days.

Does someone owe you over twenty dollars? Oh yikes, this hurts lmao. My older sister technically owes me $100, and the only reason I know this is because Mom compared how much I got for Christmas with how much Nicole got, and initially, Mom was mad because it looked like Dad gave me $100 less than Nicole. (For context, Dad gave Ashley all the envelopes to give to me and Nicole.) Mom mentioned this to Ashley over the phone and she admitted she took a hundred out of my envelope for some bills she was struggling with. I don't think she knows Mom told me; Ash has said nothing about this to me, and it's extremely hurtful. I wouldn't have given a shit if she asked to borrow $100, like just communicate with me, don't do shit like this behind my back and I only find out because my mom is always looking for a reason to be mad at Dad.

Do you like sour candy? I fucking love sour candy.

What has changed most about you in the past year? I think I've gotten better about saying no. I'm one of those people that are so scared to hurt people by telling them no.

Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? hell fucking no lmao

How are things between you and the person you like/love/are with? We're great.

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Rammstein but I'm sunscreening the shit outta myself lmao, I know the Feuerzone stories

Why aren’t you in "love" with your last ex? Because I never was, no Nazi deserves my positive attention, and nor do people with a penchant for lying their ass off ever since we met as children.

Do you think being born was a mistake? I don't believe in cosmic plans like fate, destiny, etc., so I don't believe it's possible to ultimately be a "mistake." The closest you can get I suppose is an accident, but that's not necessarily a mistake.

Have you ever been arrested? I have not.

Has a relative ever been arrested? Not that I'm aware of.

Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? I (thankfully) don't think it's as "celebrated" as like, Halloween or Christmas, but Columbus Day. Motherfucker didn't discover shit. Him landing here was just the start of a genocide.

What would you paint on a rock? I feel like I'd try to make it resemble the scale from Dragon Tales, lol.

Do you have a favorite hoodie? Yes, it's one my sister Nicole got me! It's primarily black but with a floral design that also features skulls.

Do you like who you are? Right now I don't, but I'm trying to get better. I've been thinking more kindly of myself lately, though, but it's with plenty of effort and lots of deep thinking and therapy.

What is your latest new hobby? Man... it's been so long since I got into a new hobby. I suffer severely with anhedonia, so truly having fun is quite rare for me; I barely get anything out of things I already like.

Do you get carsick? No.

What sport is your favorite to watch? I only like dancing.

How many pounds do you need to lose/gain before you’re at your ideal weight? All I'm saying is well over 100 pounds.

What does the last T-shirt you got look like? Dad got me an Alice Cooper shirt for Christmas, which features him and the text "hey stoopid" (an album/song title) on it.

Do you think weird it’s for someone to have never tried soda? Not really, especially when you consider places like third-world countries that barely have access to just clean water. I guess here in the USA, I'd be surprised to hear you've NEVER tried it.

Do you have the same religious beliefs as your parents? They're both Christians, so no.

What’s your favorite Led Zeppelin song? "Kashmir."

Do you have a nervous habit? (e.g. biting nails, tapping feet, smoking) Wringing my hands together and fiddling with my ear gauges.

Would you be/are you a good role model to a younger sibling? I'm not. She's an infinitely better adult than I am, I can hardly believe she's my "little" sister.

Do you have any appointments coming up? I always do.

Do you put appointments in your phone’s calendar app to remember them? No, I have a planner.

Will you be visiting anyone’s house in the next week or so? I'm sure I'll help Mom watch Emerson on Friday.

Have you ever used Tumblr? Do you still use it today? Yes to both.

What’s your favourite Ben & Jerry’s flavor? Phish Food, oh my god it's divine.

Have you ever been to a school reunion? How was it? No, and I have no interest in going. I've found through a Facebook friend that they're in the process of planning our high school's 10-year reunion, and I'm just like... yeah hard pass

What are your parents’ names and what do they do for a living? My dad Ken is a mailman, while my mom Donna is on disability for cancer, but she volunteers at multiple places. She does more for free than I EVER would.

Do you have any siblings? What are their names, age, and grade they are in? I'm just gonna list my two immediate sisters: Ashley (30) and Nicole (25).

Do you know a schizophrenic person? My boyfriend's mom.

Who were you last in a car with and where did you go? My mom, to a doctor appointment.

Name the last 3 people you kissed and list one nice thing about each one. Girt is very intelligent, Sara is creative, and Tyler was... kind, I guess?

Who was the last person to kiss your forehead? I'm sure it was Girt.

The last song you heard, what does it make you think of? The characters Cottonmouth and Lizard from Wings of Fire.

How do you think you'll celebrate your 100th birthday? I highly doubt I'll make it to 100. I don't even mean that in a depressing way, I just have too many health issues and things that run in my family.

Which television family is most like your own family? Oh I don't know, I don't watch enough TV for this.

What kind of pet could someone have that would make you think that person is crazy? I don't get the appeal of owning venomous animals if their venom is medically significant. I just don't think it's worth it, people have died from this.

Name something you keep on the nightstand. I have a moon lamp that you can change to a variety of colors.

As a child, what frightened you the most? Tornadoes.

During high school, what was your worst subject? Math.

At what age did you get your first kiss? Early into 16, as far as consensual kisses go. I've told the story of the two pre-k and kindergarten kids who harassed me all the time during recess.

How many pieces of gum have you chewed today? None, I don't even have any.

Do you know anyone who is paralyzed? I don't believe so, at least not personally.

What did you do last night? I read for a while.

Who was the last person to text you? My mom.

Do you get intimidated easily? Yes.

Why did you last cry? I cried a little bit a few days ago actually, I was just very exasperated over my meds not doing what they should, my anhedonia was at peak severity, and I was just overall very stressed with life and what I'm doing with it.

Did someone see you crying? No, I wasn't crying long and I also kept wiping tears away so Mom wouldn't see.

Do you crack your knuckles? No, I absolutely hate the sound of cracking joints.

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? My lock screen is a beautiful art piece with a luna moth with the text "enjoy the now" arched over it, and my home screen is artwork by my favorite artist NukeRooster (socials name, anyway), called "Denialism." I want it tattooed one day.

Where is your best friend right now? He's at work today.

Can you count to 100 in any other language? German.

Are you a fan of Rob Zombie? Yeah. His music, anyway. His movies aren't my thing.

Last two songs you listened to? It was "V.A.N." by Bad Omens ft. Poppy and then "Sport frei" by Lindemann.

Is your skin sensitive? Yes, very.

Are you sensitive in general? VERY

Have you ever made a gingerbread house? Yes.

Who did you last get in a fight with? My mom.

Do you like Jalapeno Cheetos? Hell yeah.

Name one thing you ate today? The "all berries" version of Cap'n Crunch.

Do you watch videos on YouTube? Almost constantly.

Do you regularly use a blow dryer? I never do.

Would you date someone who was a different religion than you? I could not date a person who is more than faintly religious. Having one is fine, but holy shit keep it to yourself.

Have you ever had sushi? I never have and never will.

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

A writing scenario I never finished:

Erik and his Best Friend 🫣

I think I gave this idea to someone lol

What he said had been nagging you since last Friday.

What would make him ask you that? Where the fuck did it even come from?

The more you replayed his words in your mind, the sound of his voice so clear, you shake your head with disbelief.

“Have you ever been titty-fucked?”

“…what did you just say?”

He simply shrugs one shoulder before taking a drag of his weed.

“I said, have you ever been titty-fucked?”

He’s your best friend, someone you can turn to, and his sexual comment alarmed you. It could be a mixture of things that had him talking crazy.

For one, you’re wearing a halter top that displayed your beautifully formed, burgeoning, breasts. Secondly, he’s smoking weed and you know your best friend like the back of your hand. When he gets high, he’s a horny motherfucker on the quest for pussy to ravage.

“I’m gonna act like you didn’t just say that to me, E.”

You lean back against his loveseat before glancing at him strangely. Erik simply props his sock covered foot up against his coffee table, leg swinging, a hand resting lazily against his crotch, and his hood up. Erik could feel your eyes glued to him so he cocks his head to the side while chewing on his bottom lip.

“Are you gonna answer my question or nah?”

“Yes, I have, but what are you planning to do with this information? I’m genuinely curious.”

Erik swipes some ashes from his crotch.

“As much as we talk about sexual shit—”

“I think you need to put the weed out and get some rest, Erik.”

Your eyes burned into the side of his handsome face before you stand from the loveseat, stretch your arms, and adjust your leggings. Lastly, you grab your handbag and climb over Erik’s leg that’s propped up on the table.

“I’m gonna head out. You good?” You questioned while taking slow steps towards his apartment door.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna finish this last bit off and take my ass to bed. Let me know when you make it home, Tweety, If not you know I’m blowing your shit up.”

Erik called you Tweety because of the shape of your lips. It annoyed you at first but knowing that he won’t stop you decided to just give in. Secretly, it was starting to grow on you. He didn’t need to know that though.

“I will, Erik. Love you.”

“Love you too, girl. Be safe.”

The second you shut his door behind you, was the moment you began to wonder if your best friend has deeper feelings. It only complicated things because there is another guy, one he hates, that wants to make amends with you and start over. He’s home from prison now and he just got a new job in construction. Last time you spoke to him he got approved for his apartment and he’s driving too.

Why did Erik have to go and say some nasty shit like that? What was he implying? That he wanted to titty-fuck you?

Little did you know, your bestie was plotting something. So many times he’d watch you prance around him in your breast-hugging tops, salivating with each sway and jiggle. It’s been like that forever, especially when he gets high. It’s like you wanted him to reach over, lift your shirt, yank your bra cup down and feast on a nipple.

That Friday night, Erik was struggling to keep his cool in front of you. His lascivious thoughts made him feel guilty and awkward when you left his apartment. You were wearing that tight top that was straining around your triple D breasts and he couldn't help but gaze solidly at them, noticing the slight outline of your protruding nipples.

That was last Friday and you didn’t expect a call or text from him at this point. Sitting up in your bed at 3 AM, finishing the last box braid in your hair after working on the style for eight hours, you could see a FaceTime call coming through your phone and his name boldly stood out with the dim lighting of your bedroom. Pausing, one greasy finger extended to answer, you wait for him to speak first.

“Tweety, what you doin’ ?”

“I’m just finishing my hair. You?”

“Alone now. Glad I ain’t waste my night with this girl.”

“What girl?”

“You don’t know her. I wasn’t feeling it so she left.”

“Oh.”

There is a rather long pause and it makes you roll your eyes. Clearly, he isn’t going to bring up what happened last Friday.

“Tweety.”

“What, Erik?” You respond with a huff.

“Come roll my blunt.”

“Excuse me?”

Erik chuckles, “Come roll my blunt.”

Your eyes lower to your phone and you can see that Erik is resting on his bed on his back and the glow from his TV danced across his face. His locs are tousled and he’s shirtless. His voice sounded groggy, probably from taking a nap minutes before he called.

“Do you see what time it is? Why would I get out of my bed at almost four in the morning to roll a blunt for you?”

“Because you love me and you can’t tell me no.”

“I’m telling you no right now, Erik. It’s late as hell I’m not driving to your place.”

“Not for me? That’s messed up…”

“You act like you can’t roll it yourself. It’s not hard.”

“I got it ground up, all you gotta do is seal it for me.”

“I said no, Erik! You haven’t talked to me in a week and the first thing you say is come roll your blunt?”

“But you do it better…you seal it tighter…”

“Erik…”

“How about if I come over there?”

“You ain’t giving up, are you?”

“I miss you.”

You smile and roll your eyes at his words. Okay, you missed his ass too.

“Come on then.”

“Love you! I’m on my way.”

You hang up the call and giggle to yourself. He’s absolutely right, you can’t tell him no and actually mean it. Standing from your bed, you clean the hair up and toss it in the trash before heading to your bathroom to wash your hands. Staring at your reflection, you admire your work, impressed with the way it turned out since it is your first time….

[rpmemestorehouse]

2010′s Internet Memes Starters

Change wording as needed

“Are you frustrated?”

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I-”

“Let me tell you why that’s bullshit.”

“Oh stop it, you.”

“Aww yiss.”

“France is bacon.”

“That’s cute.”

“Lie down. Try not to cry. Cry a lot.”

“Has science gone too far?”

“...said no-one ever.”

“We need to go deeper.”

“Do you think this is a motherfucking game?”

“NOPE.”

“Oh baby, a triple!”

“Brushie brushie brushie~”

“Spooky scary skeletons!”

“FUCK YEA.”

“You could stop at five or six stores, or, just ONE.”

“You hear about video games?”

“Release the kraken!”

“Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?”

“ ‘It will be FUN’, they said!”

“You’ve been GNOMED!”

“Deal with it.”

“And not a single fuck was given that day.”

“It’s a double rainbow!”

“The rent is too damn high!”

“You jelly?”

“Challenge accepted.”

“Come at me bro!”

“Pootis!”

“Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?”

“Are you a wizard?”

“Bitch please!”

“I know that feel bro.”

“Shut up and take my money!”

“I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

“NO.”

“I hope you step on a LEGO.”

“That really rustled my jimmies.”

“And then a skeleton popped out!”

“I’ve seen some shit.”

“gEnIuS!”

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“This isn’t even my final form!”

“You had one job.”

“Kill me.”

“Majestic as FUCK.”

“Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about [insert]?”

“I swear on me mum...”

“You have no power here!”

“REKT!”

“What a time to be alive.”

“If I pull that off, will you die?”

“It will be extremely painful...for you.”

“FUCK THIS GAY EARTH!”

“Hide the pain Harold.”

“Local man ruins everything.”

“Mom, get the camera!”

“I cri evrytiem.”

“The struggle is real.”

“I am the one who knocks!”

“Perfection.”

“This is the darkest timeline.”

“I’m about to end this man’s whole career.”

“I regret nothing!!!”

“I lied.”

“I’ve seen enough [insert] to know where THIS is going.”

“Oh god why-”

“Everyday I’m shufflin’-”

“You wot mate?”

“Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked...”

“Man door hand hook car door-”

“Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, vomit on my sweater already, Mom's spaghetti-”

“Oppa Gangnam style!”

“When [place] is ashes, you have my permission to die.”

“I only cried for 20 minutes.”

“Pepperidge Farm remembers.”

“Go home, [Name], you’re drunk.”

“Fuck me, right?”

“I should buy a boat.”

“2deep4you”

“Apply cold water to that burn.”

“420 blaze it!”

“That’s a nice new [insert]. It would be a shame if something happened to it...”

“I too, like to live dangerously.”

“You know nothing, [Name].”

“I’m getting too old for this shit.”

“Does this look like the face of mercy?”

“It was me, [OWN NAME]!”

“Stop trying to make [insert] happen! It’s not going to happen!”

“You merely adopted the darkness.”

“See? Nobody cares.”

“I will find you, and I will kill you.”

“I understood that reference!”

“Listen here, you little shit-”

“It’s an older meme, sir, but it checks out.”

“Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli.”

“How do you do, fellow kids?”

“Ow, the edge!”

“*teleports behind you* Nothing personal, kid.”

“Pee is stored in the balls.”

“We have food at home.”

“You must be new here.”

“Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.”

“ERMAHGERD BERKS-”

“That’s the evilest thing I can imagine!”

“Dammit Moon Moon!”

“When u mom com home and make hte spagheti-“

“When will you learn? When will you learn?! THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!”

“helo would u like some of this hot choclety milk?”

“Be strong, [Name]. Be strong for Mother.”

“Ayy LMAO.”

“Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.”

“Shrek is love, Shrek is life.”

“Heard you were talking shit!”

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

“Look at me. I’m the captain now.”

“This could be us, but you playing.”

“They played us like a damn fiddle!”

“I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

“I’m in me mum’s car, broom broom!”

“Hand me the aux cord.”

“Press F to pay respects.”

“Trust nobody, not even yourself.”

“Anime was a mistake.”

“It’s just a prank, bro!”

“Don’t talk to me or my son ever again.”

“Are ya winning, son?”

“Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.”

“I lived bitch!”

“You just have to say that you're fine, when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would never understand.”

“*chuckles* I’m in danger.”

“That wasn’t very cash money of you.”

“They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.”

“DEEZ NUTS-”

“Alone on a Friday night? God, you’re pathetic.”

“Why the fuck you lyin’? Why you always lyin’? Mmmm oh my GOD, stop fuckin’ lyin’~”

“You’re gonna have a bad time.”

“I’m at soup!”

“IT’S TIME TO STOP!”

“Congratulations, you played yourself.”

“I’m you, but stronger.”

“This is fine.”

“Hello darkness my old friend~”

“Sosig.”

“Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne!”

“I have crippling depression!”

“WE ARE NUMBER ONE!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo.”

“Take a fucking sip, babes.”

“Brother, may I have some oats?”

“God I wish that were me.”

“Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.”

“Oh, worm?”

“Hewwo!”

“Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?”

“Am I a joke to you?”

“Let me in. LET ME IIIIIINNNNN!!!!!”

“You know I had to do it to ‘em.”

“Why is the FBI here?”

“Oh no baby what is you doin’???”

“Hey man, you see that guy over there?”

“Buenos días, [Name]!”

“Hey there demons, it’s me, ya boy.”

“Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.”

“Then perish.”

“Somebody toucha my spaghet!”

“My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.”

“Weird flex, but okay.”

“I’m baby.”

“STONKS!”

“OK, boomer.”

“Yep, this one’s going in my cringe compilation.”

“This is so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.”

“Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.”

“All right then, keep your secrets.”

“They did surgery on a grape.”

“It ain’t much, but it’s honest work.”

“Look how they massacred my boy!”

“Bro! You just posted cringe! You are going to lose subscriber.”

“Wait, that’s illegal.”

“Bro, I’m straight-up not having a good time.”

“Gonna cry? Gonna piss your pants maybe?”

“I’m gonna do what’s called a pro gamer move.”

“Say sike right now.”

[rueluxprince]

Why Does Jin Guangyao Have So Many Goddamn Ships

This dude. I don’t know what is with him. He can be shipped with so many goddamn people, and you can find something in canon (show/novel/audio drama) to justify it. You like a specific trope? He’ll have a ship that gives it to you. (Lets extrapolate some from canon)

Qin Su/Jin Guangyao: Naive yet headstrong heiress trying to fight on the battlefield and contribute to the greater good. Bit off more than she could chew and was rescued by a gentle and quietly self-assured young man. Romance and comedy ensues as she vows to make him her husband! Flowers! Hijinks! Enlisting quirky handmaidens for advice! Jin Guangshan doesn’t exist in this one!

Lan Xichen/Jin Guangyao: hero saves the beauty, gay edition. Young bookkeeper wants to be worthy of noble young master’s esteem, works his ass off, puts himself in years of danger, finally climbs to the top and now must deal with the “is he or is he not” of romance in politics! Is he or is he not? He’s always at your house and gives you a free pass to his house and draws you exclusive paintings and only attends conferences hosted by you and trusts you completely! But he never says anything! Cue the yearning! The soft touches! Reminders of etiquette! Swooning into strong arms!

Jiang Cheng/Jin Guangyao: reluctant and accidental co-parents reluctantly and accidentally fall in love in the long years of raising a precocious nephew into adulthood. The kid turned out surprisingly okay, with a commendably hard moral backbone. One realizes it’s nice to have a perpetually angry grape ready to blow up in your defense. The other realizes someone closest to him is already fulfilling all his marriage requirements and he didn’t even know it! Domestic bliss! Cute kids! Internal struggles of sexuality! The italicized oh!

Nie Mingjue/Jin Guangyao: Noble and righteous leader recognizing and promoting downtrodden but talented beginner –> no good opinion forthcoming but still wants to care his own way older brother x turning down a dark path but still wants to go back the way things were younger brother –> So much resentment fierce corpse x unable to forget the guilt murderer –> they are buried together. Deteriorating relationship! Shakespearean tragedy! Ultimate darkness! Death! Eternity with each other!

(Honorable mention: 3zun - a wholesome ouroboros loop of death, mystery and found family)

Nie Huaisang/Jin Guangyao: you ever have that one childhood friend that takes care of you and indulges in your oddities and protects you with murderous looks and a scarred back even though he’s frailer than you are; and then that childhood friend murders your older brother but leaves you alive and still takes cares of you and spoils you and would drop everything to help you with a made up problem? And so you’re now left seething in rage because how dare he ruin you and love you all without pause?! Cue the revenge plots! Lies! Deceit! Best actor winners going toe to toe on the world’s biggest stage! Inner conflict! Angst! More conflicted plotting!

Mo Xuanyu->Jin Guangyao: You’re weak and a mess and constantly bullied and the only one in this huge and scary house that ever showed you kindness is your older half brother. He becomes a god in your eyes, all golden and brilliant and surrounded by equally golden and beautiful people you can never touch. But you still try despite everything because he’s the sun and he wanted you to thrive, and you’re just a little moth ramming head first into the flames. And when you’re scorched to the bone and everyone still keeps on trying to stomp you into ash and you finally decide to take revenge, you still can’t bring yourself to blame that splendid sun who were never yours in the first place. Resentments! Unrequited love! More angst! Inner courtyard intrigues! More tragedy! Poetic inner monologues!

Su She->Jin Guangyao: generous and focused ruler x dedicated and competent supporter. He gives you all the respect you need and you know in your soul you will die for him and you don’t care one whit about it. You protect his heart but you always stood one step behind. The position beside him is taken, often by a soft figure in golden silk, or an eminent figure in blue satin. Jealousy! Loud expressions of loyalty! Ego management! Pining and simping!

Xue Yang/Jin Guangyao - friends who murder together stays together. One causes wanton destruction and the other picks up after them. Not because he particularly cares that people are getting hurt but the cost analysis tells him it’s not worth the clean up. You pay for my shopping, I rip out the tongues of anyone that insults your mother. Lighthearted talks of murder! Scheming with friends! Lots of cursing! Dubious experiments! Lots of magical cursing! Friends with benefits!

Wen Ruohan/Meng Yao: local megalomanic tyrant sees this random ass kid all bloodied up and gleaming with spite and went “I would like to raise that one. I’ll give it a sword and I’ll teach him stuff and I won’t say I appreciate him but I will definitely save him from imminent danger.” And that kid acknowledges said tyrant as his teacher and tortures for him pretends to love him, all the while stealing his secrets and preparing to stab him in the back to win the war. Struggle! Trauma! Living in hardship! Double agent reminding themselves not to be conflicted! Psychological torture!

Wen Chao + Wen Xu: uhhhhhh, the canoodling with stepmom trope? Do we even go that far on tumblr? It’s a possibility I’ve considered for about two seconds and now I wish I could wash my brain out.

Jin Zixun~~Jin Guangyao: the “I know I’m slapping the me two years ago in the face with what I’m doing right now but it’s love so I don’t care” trope? All the Jins do this. The year before you were all “why are you always here you don’t belong here you bastard son” and now you’re all “wheres A-Yao he promised he would ambush this public menace with me owo?!??!!??” What a weakass motherfucker with weakass principles.

Honorable mentions:

Wei Wuxian + Jin Guangyao: best in law dynamics, potentially. Terrorizing the Cloud Recesses, eating lots of spicy food, hiding secrets in perfectly groomed hair, causing aneurysms in Lan Qiren, violating all the OH&S regulations Etc.

Lan Wangji + Jin Guangyao: best in law dynamics, actually. It’s a whole battle. Jin “I am physically incapable of seeing someone and not wanting to take care of it” Guang “yes I will be calling you Wangji and trying to give you stuff and show audible concern for your love life” Yao vs. Lan “I do not wish to know you I do not care for your seating arrangements do not ever invite me to your banquets again” Wang “just because you’re maybe dating my precious older brother does not mean I will not refute you to your face about my boyfriend at your banquet in front of said brother” Ji.

(And yes the last two are purely familial/platonic. And also everyone else? You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift is the most fitting theme song for half of them)

~more MDZS metas under #my thing# tag~

[cherrycheolliesc]

Let Me Hear You Say

part 46: Joshua’s Weeb Closet. (46/50)

red below 👇 (1.5k words)

“You know I can break out of this, right?” you say to Mingyu who is currently holding you down. He just scoffs knowing you can't move anywhere, but entertains you, “I know, it just makes me feel strong”

“You already strong, Gyu. Anyways where is everyone?” Seokmin asks. You look around the room only seeing half of your friends in Seungcheol’s small living room. Seungkwan and Wonwoo are sitting on the couch quietly talking. You wonder how they became friends because you've never seen them talk to each other. You assume Jeonghan and Joshua are probably somewhere making out so they don't have to deal with actually setting up the party. Seungcheol and Jihoon seem to be lecturing Chan about who knows what. Things are finally quieting down when everyone decides to watch the movie that's playing until someone bursts through the doors, “I'm here motherfuckers. The party is finally getting started”

“She drunk, isn't she,” Cheol asks as he points towards the small blonde girl in Mina’s arms. Seoyeon nods as she brings Chaeyoung to one of the rooms in the apartment. When she comes back, everyone turns towards the commotion at the front door. “You can't make me go inside. I'll bite you, you know I will” 

“Soonyoung, if you just go inside, it'll make everything so much easier,” Jun says as he continues to try and push the smaller boy in. Everyone just watches him, Minghao, and Vernon struggle to bring Soonyoung in until Cheol eventually just picks him up and holds him down, “You two are gonna talk like two grown adults or I’m firing Jihoon”

“Woah why am I getting involved in this?” Jihoon asks walking over to the rest of the group. Everyone looks confused before Chan talks, “How can you even fire him?” 

“Yea and with what job exactly,” Soonyoung says causing Cheol to roll his eyes, “Look if guys talk to each other, I'll tell you where I work” 

“One, no one cares. Two, stop lying to yourself, it's okay if you're unemployed. We won't stop loving you just because you don't have a job, Cheollie” you say which only annoys him more. Jihoon confused asks, “Why do you guys really believe he's unemployed? The dude is literally our boss.”

“ ‘Our’ boss?” Seungkwan says, “yes our boss. He's at the building all the time. How did you not know that?”

“To be honest I thought he was just going there to hook up with you, Ji,” Jeonghan says before getting a drink. “Ew, why would I hook up with Cheol? He's like my brother. That would just ruin your friendship.”

“And that is exactly why I’m not admitting my feelings for Y/n!” Soonyoung screams before trying to run away but failing as Cheol is still holding him down. You decide yelling back is the best option, “like I would ever admit my feelings for you.” 

“That’s it! Time out for you two until you can figure out your issues. Bring them to Shua’s weeb closet and don’t let them out until they're cool with each other.” Cheol says before lifting Soonyoung. Mingyu sees the message Cheol sends and brings you to Joshua’s room as well. “Hey hey, why are you taking them to my closet? What if they fuck in there?”

“Then they'll be happy again,” Vernon says with a smile on his face. Shua rolls his eyes before giving in. Eventually, you and Soonyoung are both shoved into the small closet. You try to stay as far as you can from him, putting a blowup titan in between the two of you. To ease the awkwardness after a few minutes of silence, Soonyoung asks, “You think Shua uses this thing as a sex doll?”

“If he does, I regret touching it,” you reply. The boy beside you laughs and says, “If I remember correctly, you and Joshua sleeping together for a whole two years after college, right?” 

“Yeah well, it was kinda weird. Let's just say, you aren't the only furry in our friend group.” This makes him laugh again before finding a place to sit down. You take a seat beside him as he leans his head on your shoulder, “I’m sorry, Y/n.”

“For what exactly, Soonie?” You ask back wanting a better explanation than just a small sorry. He rolls his eyes before saying, “You already know why. For being immature and not dealing with things like an adult.”

“To be honest, none of us deal with things like adults. We're just the worst. I guess I’m sorry too.” you say back to him. The two sit comfortably in silence just relaxing in each other’s company. Why did we make things so hard for no reason? you wonder. That thought quickly goes away when you remember that the two of you are friends and you never want to ruin that, but your thoughts are interrupted, “I love you, Y/n. But I mean even if it's pretty obvious, I know I'm not very good at showing it.” 

“But we're friends, Soon,” you say back before walking to the other side of the closet. You glance at his face for a second and see a bit of hurt in his eyes. Why am I still hiding how I feel? What’s the point of lying to myself and everyone else? You ask yourself before he breaks your thoughts once again, “Y/n, you say that, but then you're willing to fight with me for months because of the whole situation. Why are we just continuing to do this to each other?” 

“I don't know, Soon. I really don't know,” you reply, overwhelmed, burying your face into your hands. He walks behind you and gives one of his famous, familiar back hugs to comfort you. You relax into the hug as he softly kisses your shoulder, “it's okay, Y/n. You don't need to have an answer right now. It's not wrong to want to take everything at your own pace. I just don't want to feel like I have to constantly avoid you because like you said, you are my best friend.“

“Are you trying to say ‘the power of friendship is so strong’ that we can get through things like this?” you sarcastically say as you laugh and lean into his arms. He giggles and replies, “That's exactly what I’m saying.” The two of you once again sit in silence. You take in everything from the moment you first saw Soonyoung as a small boy eating dirt in the playground to this exact moment You wonder when everything changed, “When did you realize you loved me, Soon?” 

“There isn't an exact moment. I think just over time my love constantly grew for you. I didn't realize it at first and never really wanted to accept it because, well I'm pretty sure it's obvious why,” he responds. You feel the same way. You've always just told yourself it was because of that dance, but you know those feelings have always been there. More importantly, you know you've acted on those feelings before. “Why did you leave me after graduation? After I told you I love you?” 

“Because I was stupid and a coward. I got jealous of Joshua, but then I started to think I wasn't as good as him. I wouldn't be good enough like him. I thought I wouldn't be able to make you happy like he would, ” he says honestly. You don't understand how he could ever think he wasn't good enough. You loved everything about the kid, from his weird tiger obsession to his incredible dance skills. “Soonie, you know I never believed you weren't good enough. And to be honest, Shua wasn't the greatest boyfriend. He was an amazing friend, but there's something off about knowing your boyfriend is denying his feelings for someone else”

“I guess that's how Seoyeon felt. It was just seeing you in the arms of a model like him brought up my insecurities I guess. I thought it would be too hard to compete. So I ran away because I didn't want to deal with the feelings, ” he explains still holding you in his arms. You feel how much bigger his arms got over the years and decide to ask him another question, “When did you start working out? Not that I'm complaining, but the last time Cheol asked you to work out with him you called him a loser and told him there's no reason to work out when you have a cute face.”

“Yes, my face is adorable, but I figured I'd just work out because why not. Also, Ji paid for a year's gym membership in China by accident,” he answers while softly laughing. The two of you continue to talk about random things for the next few hours without anyone interrupting you. You hear soft snoring on the other side of the door. Soonyoung quietly opens the door to not wake the sleeping person on the other side. You walk out to see Seungcheol and Wonwoo fast asleep on each other and quickly take a photo before sneaking away. You and Soonyoung decide to leave through the window to avoid questions or stares from anyone else. For the rest of the night, the two of you wonder who knows where and finally you feel happy to be with your best friend for once.

previous / masterlist / next

↣ summary: after not seeing each other for years, Yn is ecstatic when she finds out all of her friends will finally be in the same place at one time. but unfortunately an unwanted dream turns a 12 year friendship into hateful relationship between yn and soonyoung.

↣ pairing: reader x soonyoung.

↣ genre: angst, comedy, youtube au, sm au. friends to enemies to lovers.

just message me or dm me if you wanted to be added to a tag list.

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a/n- tbh i don’t really know how i feel abt this chapter. but also i don’t really see myself as a good writer when it comes to like written things like this but i really want to get better because i want to open requests soon when i get the time.

[justcallmefox89]

Truth or Dare Part 9 - Diavolo’s Ending

The Demon Lord’s castle is in an uproar and Mammon steps up to hold things together.  The Devildom gets a visit from two unforeseen visitors who have the ability to change the course of fate.

Written from the perspective of a female OC

NSFW - threesome, guy on guy, penetrative sex, anal sex, unprotected sex, shower sex.........filth.  It’s just smutty, smutty filth.

TWs - discussions of death and dying

Mood List:

Jonathan Young - A Whole New World (cover) Max - Lights Down Low Jarryd James - Do You Remember The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It Hozier - Almost

I feel nauseous and my head is pounding.  

Too much Demonus, not enough water.  I am never going to The Fall with Asmo ever again.  Never. 

A strong pair of arms surround me, holding me up.

“Fuck off Asmo.....this is all your fault,” I say, slurring.

“I assure you my darling, I am not Asmodeus and this situation is in no way his fault,” a voice behind me says, light and airy, tinkling like wind chimes swaying in the breeze.  

I recognize that voice.

“She’s right,” another voice chimes in.  “This is a situation borne of your own stupidity.”  A pause.  “Took courage though. You must have a pair of brass balls on you, human.  You get that from my side I’m sure.”  

A sardonic chuckle.

Low and husky, this voice sounds a lot like mine.  But there’s something else.....something darker, dangerous.  Something that brings to mind prey running through a forest at twilight, being pursued by something shadowy and quick and ominous, leaves and grass rustling as something runs for its life.      

I blink, blearily trying to focus, when a face pops up right in front of mine.

“Holy motherfucking fucking fuck!”  I yelp and stumble back.  

The face frowns, and when I look a little closer I realize I’m gazing into a pair of green eyes that look startlingly like my own.  I don’t know the owner though.  This woman’s long chestnut hair is held back from her face in a series of braids, her skin streaked with decorative lines that have been painted on by something chalky and blue.

“Language,” the voice from behind reprimands me softly.

“Sorry,” I say automatically, turning around.  

I know you.

Her skin is pale, like mine, but she has soft, dove grey eyes and flowing white hair.  White hair like........ like Mammon’s.

“Where’s Mammon?  Where’s Diavolo?”  I ask, whipping my head around, realizing I’m in Diavolo’s study.  

Everything looks hazy and out of focus, like a soft watercolor painting.  I see a group of men huddled around something on the floor, and breathe out a small sigh of relief when I hear Mammon and Diavolo speaking, although I can’t make out what they’re saying.

I face the pale woman again as the dark haired woman looks on impassively.

“Lilith why are you here?  Is it safe for you to be here?” 

The other woman snorts.  “We’re not in the Devildom, child.”

“Then where are we?”  I ask, panicky.

“A....purgatory of sorts,” Lilith answers carefully.

Purgatory?  But that’s for .................flames.....Mammon screaming.  Blood.  Skin burning.  Pain, so much pain.  Oh shit.

“I died?”  I swallow hard.  “Then the ritual didn’t work.”

The dark haired woman scowls.  “You’re not too far gone for us to help you, but you’ve sure pushed the limit of what we can do.”

“Oh fuc-”

“Arianthi!”  Lilith fixes me with a stern look.

“Sorry,” I mumble, avoiding her eyes.  “So I’m just a little bit dead?”

Lilith nods.  “There’s still enough time to for us to send you back.” 

A sound from far off in the distance drifts towards us.  Something that sounds like wood creaking and groaning, waves pounding against rocks.  And an unearthly haunting melody, underscored with eldritch screams.  It’s beautiful and terrible all at once, and I fight the urge to clap my hands over my ears.  My eyes dart around the room, searching for the origin of the noise.

“We don’t have any more time Lilith, we have to go.  NOW!”  The other woman hisses.

“I know Morrigan, I know.”  Lilith grabs my shoulders and bends down so we’re eye to eye.  “We can’t help you anymore after this. The Demon King is powerful, but he isn’t invincible.  And soon, even he won’t be able to deny your place in the Devildom hierarchy.”  

She flashes me a secretive smile.   

“You’ve drawn attention from other powerful beings though, so be on your guard.  Mammon will protect you, stay close to him.”  She kisses my forehead and gives me another smile.  “I’m proud of you.  Both of you.  Tell him that.”

I nod and she moves away, Morrigan stepping into her place.  She cocks her head to the side and looks at me curiously.  

“We don’t know each other, but you’ll learn of me soon enough.  You’ve always been one of my favorites; the first one of mine to wreak such chaos in hundreds of generations.”  She smirks at me.  “You’re entertaining, I’ll give you that.” 

The noise from earlier sounds like it’s getting closer.  She takes my hands in her own.  “Diavolo is a fine demon and he will be a wonderful ruler.  You chose well.  Be good to each other.”  

She presses a her lips to my forehead then roughly shoves me back.

WHUMP.

Shiiiiiiit.  Pain.  So much pain.  All the pain.  

“No, no, no, no,.......not again baby, please not again.  Come back....”  Mammon

“Solomon do something!”  Diavolo.

“I’m trying, I’m trying!”

My eyes don’t want to open and my body is sore and stiff.  I’m restricted, feeling claustrophobic.  I jerk and try to struggle free of whatever is holding me.

“Oi!”   

I try to stretch and blink my eyes rapidly until they stay open.  My clothes are in tatters, and the smell of fire and ashes surrounds me.  I try to breathe in but my chest constricts, my lungs unwilling to take in oxygen.  

“Arianthi?!”

Two pairs of arms tightly wrap around me, sandwiching me between two powerful bodies.  I can see Barbatos and Solomon over Mammon’s shoulder, their eyes wide.   

I heave to one side, breaking the boys’ hold on me, and roll up onto my knees. My back and legs feel leaden, and it takes all my effort to stay upright.  I try to say something, but end up coughing, trying to force stale smoke from my lungs.

Diavolo drapes his coat over me and Mammon rubs my back soothingly, urging me to relax.

“I got ya baby,” he murmurs reassuringly.  “Get it all out.”

Diavolo motions for Barbatos and gives him a series of whispered instructions.  Barbatos nods several times, then rushes out of the study, turning back to look at me one last time.  

I let out another harsh, hacking cough.  

“The fuck did you do to me Solomon?”  I mutter.  

Diavolo kneels and pulls my hair back from my face, easing some on my claustrophobia.  

Solomon barks out a surprised laugh.  “It really is you,” he says delightedly.  

“Of course it’s me, you fucking cut rate Harry Potter.”  I’m swaying on my hands and knees, exhausted.  “What happened?  Why is everything so heavy?”

Mammon helps me up to my knees and leans me against his chest.

“Are you real?  You’re really back?”  he whispers, hesitant and hopefully.

I nod, grateful to have him holding me upright.

He stays silent.  Uncertain.

“I was the one who kissed you, our very first time,” I begin, speaking slowly.  “We sneaked out after Lucifer did his room inspections that night.  We started at The Fall but we wound up at Hell’s Kitchen so you could play cards.”

Mammon’s heart is pounding in his chest, getting faster and faster with my every word.

“We had been there forever.  I was ready to go home.  But you were drinking and you were winning so you wanted to stay.  We made a bet on the next game.  If you win, we stay and you get a kiss.  If you lose, we go home and I got to pick a movie for us to watch together on our next movie night.”

Mammon’s fingers are stroking my cheek, listening intently to each low, labored word.  Diavolo kneeling next to me fades away; it’s just us two in this moment.  

“You lost.  It was raining outside and we had to run back to the House of Lamentation..... you were bitching and moaning the whole time.”  I grin at the memory.  “We couldn’t get in when we got home.  Lucifer figured out we were gone and locked us out.  I was cold and wet and tired of you bitching so I finally asked....” 

 I stop to cough.

“Ya asked me if I would shut the hell up if ya gave me that kiss I was asking for earlier,” Mammon picks up the story.  

“And you looked at me and said, “Maybe”.”  I croak out a laugh.  “So I pushed you against the door and kissed you.  We just stayed out there, kissing for I don’t even know how long.  Until Lucifer let us in.”

Mammon looks down at me, his eyes shining with unshed tears.  “It really is you,” he whispers.  

“Told you so.”

He gives me a soft kiss.  “Don’t ya dare ever do somethin’ like that again.  Ya ain’t allowed to leave me ever again.”

“How long was I out?”  I ask.

“You weren’t out baby.”  His voice breaks.  “You were gone.”

“No,” I shake my head.  “I saw you.  I was here.  I  - AH!”  

A blinding pain sears up my spine and it feels like someone has stuck their finger into a bundle of raw nerves.  

I look over my shoulder and see Diavolo touching my back delicately with one finger.  “Dia stop!”

The pain is so intense that the corners of my vision start to go dark.  I feel a heavy weight pulling me backwards, and something soft and fluttery tickles the back of my neck and waist, while something muscular and thick wraps around my left leg.   

I’m panting, on my hands and knees, waiting as the pain starts to level out.  “What was that?  What just happened?” 

Diavolo and Mammon snap to attention, Diavolo helping me up and Mammon arranging his coat so all my important bits are covered up.  The minute Diavolo lets go of my arm I start to fall, dragged backwards by an unfamiliar weight.

“I got you princess.”  Diavolo picks me up and I cling to him like a baby koala as he strides out of the study and up to our bedroom, Mammon following us. 

“Solomon, go ahead and stay in your usual room for the time being.  We’ll need to talk after we help Arianthi get cleaned up and we all get some rest,” Diavolo orders him. 

Diavolo is moving so quickly I can’t catch Solomon’s reply.  He doesn’t stop until we’re standing in front of the full length mirror in our bedroom.   I slide down to the floor and turn to face the mirror, Mammon on my right and Diavolo on my left.  

“Oh my dark lord,” I breathe.  

Mammon and Diavolo are grinning like idiots.

“Hang on baby, we got ya,” Mammon says.  He gently presses his hands between my should blades and massages softly while Diavolo bends down and carefully unwinds something from around my leg. 

Large, black feathered wings fan out behind me, matted and bloody, and a long tail coils behind me, thick and muscular, covered by black leathery skin.  My green eyes have taken on a golden sheen, mirroring Diavolo’s.  Mammon and Diavolo stand and return to my side.  

“We did it,” I whisper.

“You did it princess,” Diavolo murmurs.  “You came back all on your own.”  

He pulls me into a hug, careful of my new wings and the tender skin of my back.  

“l thought I lost you,” he whispers, kissing my forehead.  

“I told you a long time ago that I was tough,” I whisper back.  

“I’ll never doubt you again princess,” he says with a low chuckle.  

I look back into the mirror and wince.  I’m covered in blood, ashes, and various other substances I don’t care to think about.

Mammon’s arms snake around my waist and he kisses my cheek.  

“Don’t worry baby, we can stay here and clean ya up right.  Love on ya some.  Take all the time in the world,” he murmurs suggestively, smirking over at Diavolo.  

“Wait!  They were there!”  I grab Diavolo’s arm.  “Did you guys see them?”

“Hey, breathe princess.  Breathe for me.”  Diavolo rubs my shoulders, large hands warm and comforting.  “Who are ‘they’?”

I look back and forth between Mammon and Diavolo.  “Lilith and this other woman.  They sent me back.”

Mammon goes rigid at the mention of his sister.  “Lilith was there?”

I nod rapidly.  “She said I was in some sort of purgatory and I was only a little bit dead, but there was enough time for them to send me back.  I could see you in the study but it was all fuzzy.  She said that Diavolo’s dad was ‘powerful but not invincible’.”   

I stop to suck in some air.  Diavolo looks troubled and Mammon looks gobsmacked.

I take Mammon’s hand.  “She said you would always protect me.  And that she was proud of you.  She wanted me to tell you that.  That she was proud of you.”

He tears up, carefully folding me into his embrace.  He sniffles a little as I hug him tightly.  

“Arianthi?”  Diavolo asks quietly.  “Who else was there?  You said two women were there.  Who was there besides Lilith?”

I twist in Mammon’s arms to face Diavolo, staying firmly in Mammon’s embrace.  “I didn’t know her.  Her name was Morrigan.  I’ve never seen her before.”

“You’re sure her name was Morrigan?”  Diavolo asks, studying me carefully.

“That’s what Lilith called her.  Do you know her Dia?” 

“I never knew her.  She’s older than my father even.  I wasn’t even sure she existed to be perfectly honest,” Diavolo says, baffled.  “I’ll have to go through some books in the library tomorrow to make sure, but from what I remember of the old stories she was a very powerful demon.  The ancient Celts worshiped her as their goddess of destruction and war.  There’s been no mention of anyone seeing her in...............forever.”

“So sayin’ this Morrigan was the one with Lilith, why would she care about our girl?”  I can hear the confusion in Mammon’s voice.

“She said I was one of her’s.  She said that more than once Dia.”

Surprise spreads over Diavolo’s features.  “What else did she say?”

I close my eyes, trying to think back to Morrigan’s exact words.  

“She said I was entertaining and the first one of her’s to cause so much chaos in generations.  She said I was one of her favorites.  That you were a fine demon and you’ll be a great ruler.”  I smile.  “She said I chose well.  And that we need to be good to each other.”

When I open my eyes I see Diavolo staring at me intently.  He starts to laugh, tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

“What’re ya laughing at?”  Mammon sounds irritated.

“If she truly is one of Morrigan’s it means that Arianthi is descended from a demon as well as an angel.”

“What?!”

“Ow Mammon,” I frown, rubbing my ear.  “Too loud.”

“Sorry baby.”  He gives my ear a soft kiss.  “Ok, so our girl has demon and angel blood.  So what?”

I chew on my lower lip, thinking.  “Do you think she might have been lying about who she was?  Lilith would have known if she was lying right?”

Diavolo frowns and scrubs his hands over his face.  “I don’t know princess.  I really don’t know.  We’ll figure it though, I promise.”

I shuffle from side to side, itchy and ready to be clean again.  I don’t know what else to say.

“Alright.  That’s enough.  We’ve been awake for too damn long and Arianthi needs a shower. Hell, we all do,” Mammon says, taking charge.  “C’mon.  Inta the shower with both of ya.”

Mammon leads us into the bathroom, shutting the door softly.  He gathers me close and kisses me, gently pulling Diavolo’s coat and what’s left of my clothes away from my body.  

I hear Diavolo turning on the shower behind us, warm steam and the scent of vanilla wafting towards us, and the sound of his clothes softly hitting the tile floor.  Mammon puts his hands on my hips, backing me towards the shower, lips never leaving mine.

I stop moving when I feel Diavolo’s body at my back and his hands run over Mammon’s on my hips.  Mammon breaks our kiss long enough to shuck off his clothes, then gently urges Diavolo and I into the shower.

This shower is now officially as close to heaven as I’m ever going to get. 

A glorious artwork of glass and tile, with multiple shower heads, and more than large enough to fit all of us comfortably.........perfection.

I stand under the spray of water for a few minutes in silence, rinsing the worst of the blood and vomit from myself.  

“Who’s going to tell me what happened after everything went dark?”  I finally ask, as gently as I can.  

Mammon and Diavolo switch places, Mammon moving behind me while Diavolo faces me.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”  Diavolo asks, pouring some body wash into his hands, and then passing the bottle over my head to Mammon.

“Fire.  You two in front of me.  My skin was......burning.”

He stays silent as he runs soapy hands over my arms and chest.  “We tried to get to you but the fire kept us back.  It wasn’t natural.....it burned us when we tried to get through.”

I jump as I feel Mammon’s hands on my wings, long dexterous fingers cleaning and smoothing feathers, tucking them into place.

“Shhhh baby,” he says quietly.  “I’ll have ya all clean and feelin’ better in no time.”

“By the time the fire was low enough for us to get to you,” Diavolo pauses, his jaw clenched.  “You weren’t breathing but you were......”

“Lookin’ normal again.  Not burned.  Like nothin’ had happened,” Mammon says curtly, finishing for him.  His touch becomes rough for a second, and he immediately softens as I flinch.  “Sorry baby.”

I look down at my arms and legs; my skin is unmarked, not even a scratch.  I look back up at Diavolo in confusion.

“Barbatos heard the screams.  Solomon started looking for another ritual, one to bring you back.......” Diavolo trail offs.  

“How long was I gone?  It couldn’t have been that long.”

“Too goddamn long,” Mammon grunts behind me as Diavolo answers, “About twenty minutes.”

I start gnawing on my thumbnail anxiously.  

Dying twice in one year isn’t a good track record.  

A tapping sound echoes against the tile drumming in beat with the thoughts running though my mind.

“Arianthi?”  Diavolo holds my face in his hands.  “Calm down.  You need to breathe princess.”

“I’m calm, I’m totally calm,” I respond quickly.  

“Baby?”  Mammon rubs my shoulder and then points down.  My tail is tapping out a staccato beat on the tile floor of the shower.

“Oh.”  I make a conscious effort to slow my breathing and relax my body.  My tail - god how fucking weird is that - slows, then finally stills.  “Is that how it always is?”

“Yeah,” Mammon answers, continuing to preen my wings.  “It’s just another body part ya learn how to control.  Ya get used to it after a while.”

“How do I put them back?”

Diavolo shrugs.  “It’s not hard.  Relax and try to clear your mind from everything else.  Then just picture your human form.”

“Give me a few more seconds back here.”  Mammon tucks the last few feathers into place, smoothing the barbs down.  “Alright, give it a try baby.”

I close my eyes, concentrating on the steam and the noise of water hitting tile.  I picture myself like I was before the ritual, when I was truly happy, tucked safely in bed between Mammon and Diavolo.  There’s a moment of sharp pain, and then the extra weight on my back and shoulders vanishes.  

“Ya did it!”  Mammon says proudly, kissing my neck.

I turn in his arms, lacing my hands behind his neck.  He surges forward and presses his lips to mine.  He licks along my lower lip, then gives it a harsh nip.  I open my mouth, eagerly allowing him access.  His tongue strokes mine and his hands slide over my waist and down my hips, moving to caress my ass.  

Maybe it’s the rush of being a newly turned demon, or maybe I’m just happy to not be dead, but I need to feel his body against mine.  His warmth makes me feel alive, his mouth against mine sparking a familiar heat low in my core.  I just need.

Diavolo presses against my back, cock hard and firm against my ass.  His hands run over my sides, reaching forward to stroke Mammon’s cock.  Mammon moans into my mouth, his hips rutting forward against Diavolo’s hand.  I card my hands through his hair, tugging his head to the side and kissing his neck.  

We spent a few minutes teasing and touching, reaffirming our connection to each other.  Reassuring each other that we’re all together and safe.  Diavolo suddenly pulls back, surprising me and Mammon.

I feel Diavolo’s eyes on me and I turn around to face him.  “What are you thinking about Dia?”

His eyes cloud over and he flushes with shame, looking guilty.  

“I should never have pushed you to do that,” he whispers.  “I was so afraid of losing you that I didn’t think about anything else and you......” He chokes up.  “You died.  That was my fault.  I was so sure I was right that I willingly put you in danger.  I killed you.”

“Oh Dia, no.  Don’t do that.”  I step into his arms, wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head against his chest.  “I agreed to it.  I took that risk.  And it worked out.  I’m here and I’m fine,”  I try to reassure him.

“Because someone else interfered and brought you back,” Diavolo challenges me.  

I stay silent, unable to argue.  Mammon hugs Diavolo, leaning his head against his shoulder, offering silent comfort.  

“If that hadn’t happened and Solomon couldn’t figure out a way to bring you back.............”  Diavolo’s voice is bitter and filled with self-loathing.  

I don’t know what to say.  What he’s saying is true but oddly, I’m not angry about it.  

I’m not dead, I’m strong enough to live through whatever his father may throw at us, and I get to stay with Diavolo and Mammon without worrying about old age, or any of the other dangers that come with being human in the Devildom.

“Diavolo.  Shut up,”  Mammon commands.  Diavolo looks down at him in confusion, stunned into obedience.  “I’m still not happy about the heavy handed way ya went about it, but it ended up bein’ the best decision.  Arianthi’s here and she’s fine.  Better than fine.  I just wanna enjoy the fact that our girl is safe and she’s here.  And she’s like us now.....We don’t have to worry about losin’ her ever again.”  

Mammon sounds exhausted.  “I just wanna enjoy havin’ both of ya with me.  We can figure everything else out later.  Can we just focus on lovin’ each other for a few hours instead of all this other bullshit?  Get some damn rest?”  

I’m very conscious of the fact that we’re all still naked, slick with water and steam from the shower, and I’m eager to forget the last 12 hours.

Is that all it’s been?  This night has gone on forever.

“Mammon’s right Dia,” I murmur, running my hands over his chest and down his stomach.  

“We just pulled off something totally insane.”  My hand strays even lower, stroking his cock.  “Let’s celebrate a little bit, show how much we love each other.”

“Fuck princess.”  Diavolo chuckles, moving his hands under my thighs, lifting me up and pressing my back against the wall of the shower.  The cool tile is soothing against the tender skin of my back, and Diavolo is careful to not be too rough with me.  

“You two present a very powerful argument,” Diavolo says, smirking at me.

I wrap my legs around his waist and wiggle against him.  “Wasting time Dia.”

The head of his cock brushes against my clit, and I buck my hips against him, urging him to hurry.  He gives a low grunt and slowly lowers me onto his cock.  I’m slick with arousal, ready for him without any of our usual prep.  I moan as his cock stretches me, burying my face into his neck.  

Encouraged by my noises of enjoyment Diavolo thrusts up into me, eager but cautious, not wanting to hurt me.  I snake a hand up the back of his neck and into his hair, giving it a sharp yank.

“Faster,” I whisper into his ear, softly biting his earlobe. 

I look over Diavolo’s shoulder and see Mammon standing behind him, running his hands and mouth over Diavolo’s back.  He marks him with love bites, lowering his hands to massage Diavolo’s thighs.  

Diavolo shudders at his touch and moves his hips faster, rutting up into me hard when Mammon slips a slender finger in his ass, teasing and stretching, preparing Diavolo for what’s coming next.

Diavolo groans with lust.  “Mammon.........Arianthi....” he pants.

Mammon sinks his teeth into Diavolo’s shoulder, adding a second finger, never losing his rhythm.  “Better fuck our girl a little harder than that, she’s not making enough noise.”    

Diavolo obeys his command and I cry out, the sound echoing off the tile of the shower.  

“Fuck!”  I whimper, clinging tight to his shoulders, as his cock pounds into my pussy at the perfect angle.  

My legs tighten around his waist as I cum, pussy clenching around his thick cock, urging him to cum with me as Mammon finger fucks his ass.

“Nah,” Mammon teases, stilling the motions of his hand.  “You’re not cummin’ yet Diavolo.”

Diavolo whimpers, rutting into me.  “Please....please don’t stop now.”

“Let’s move to the bed,” I murmur, kissing him and biting at his lower lip.  “Let us take care of you Dia.”

Diavolo reluctantly releases me while Mammon turns off the shower.  The short trip to the bed seems to take forever; Diavolo is tense with lust and the stress of the past day, and he keeps sneaking touches and kisses from us until Mammon slaps his hand away.  He pushes Diavolo onto the bed, keeping me by his side.

“Bend over,” he growls, pushing me forwards a little.  “Hands on the mattress.”  

I obey while Diavolo looks on in confusion.  Mammon runs his hands down my spine, stroking slowly, before moving his hands a little lower to arch my hips until they’re just so.  Diavolo looks on, biting his lip, while Mammon slowly thrusts his cock into my pussy, inch by inch.  His makes a small whining noise, watching Mammon fuck me, eyes dark with lust and impatience.  

“You think he’s waited long enough baby?”  Mammon mutters, his hips moving excruciatingly slowly.  

I consider Diavolo, taking my time and smirking, while I enjoy the feeling of Mammon’s cock.  “Yeah.....yeah I think so.”

Mammon slowly pulls out, caressing my ass.  “Give me a kiss then get up there with him,” he demands playfully. 

I turn and give him a deep kiss, teasing him with my tongue.  

“So bossy tonight baby,” I murmur against his lips.  “I didn’t know you had in you,” I tease.

“Neither did I,” Mammon chuckles darkly.  “But I’m gettin’ into it.”

I climb up next to Diavolo and we both restlessly wait for Mammon’s next commands.

Mammon tosses Diavolo a pillow.  “Put that under your hips,” he says, moving between Diavolo’s legs and hooking them over his thighs.  Mammon looks at me and jerks his head towards Diavolo.  

“Ride,” he says with a smirk.

I giggle and move to straddle Diavolo.  

I like this side of Mammon.  Really, really like it.

“Holy fuck,” Diavolo whispers as I sink down on his cock.  

I start to move my hips, pulling off of him completely, then slowly taking his thick cock all the way back in my pussy.  He moans, then jerks suddenly, and I look over my shoulder to see Mammon, stroking his cock while he finger fucks Diavolo’s ass.

“I wanna fuck ya Diavolo,” he growls.  “Only if you want it.” 

Diavolo nods helplessly, throwing his head back against the pillows as his large hands grip my hips.  

“Words Dia,” I tell him playfully.  “Use your words.”  

I tease his nipples with my fingertips while I ride him, relishing his eyes on me.

“Yes,” he gasps.  “Yes, I want you to fuck me Mammon.”

Mammon makes an intelligible noise deep in his throat.  I look back again, watching him remove his fingers from Diavolo’s ass, then gently thrust his cock into Diavolo’s hole, stretching him slowly and thoroughly.  Once he bottoms out, he holds himself still, giving Diavolo time to adjust.

“This ok?”  Mammon asks, waiting for a signal to move.  

“Fuck yes,” Diavolo hisses between his teeth; torn between moving his hips up to meet my mine as I ride him, or pushing them down to meet Mammon’s thrusts.  

Seeing him so uncertain, a writhing, whimpering mess, and feeling the aftershocks of Mammon’s rough thrusts and his harsh breathing against my back as he fucks Diavolo drives me closer to my second orgasm.  

Mammon’s hand comes down hard on my shoulder, limiting my movement, and forcing me to grind down against Diavolo, taking his cock even deeper in my pussy.

Diavolo’s hand slides down his stomach to the point where our bodies meet, and he uses two calloused fingers to tease and rub my clit.  I moan and bite my lip, rolling my hips faster.  Diavolo thrusts up into me sloppily, close to his own orgasm.

Mammon gives a low laugh, still fucking Diavolo while he watches both of us come undone.  

“That’s right baby...... I wanna watch you cum while you ride him.  Diavolo I wanna feel ya cum inside our girl, feel this tight little hole of yours clench down on my cock while I got it buried deep in your ass.”

His words push me over the edge and I cum, taking Diavolo deep for the last time, my pussy twitching and spasming around his thick cock as I cry out his name.  

I feel Diavolo shudder, warm cum spurting into my pussy over and over.  I fall forward, bracing myself against his chest while I give him a deep kiss.  I hear Mammon let out a guttural moan, and feel the telltale tremors of his hips moving roughly and slamming his cock into Diavolo’s ass one last time as he cums.

Diavolo whines in protest when Mammon and I finally move off of him, making grabby motions at us.  “Come here.”

We lay down on each side of him, cuddling into him, and he wraps an arm around each of us, pulling us as close as possible.  

“That was a fantastic suggestion Mammon,” Diavolo sighs, kissing him softly on the lips before turning his head and kissing me as well.  

Mammon and I rest our heads on each side of Diavolo’s chest, smiling gently at each other.  

I love you, he mouths at me.

I love you too, I mouth back. 

“Let’s get a few hours of rest,” Diavolo murmurs, already sounding sleepy.  “We are going to have one hell of a conversation with Solomon and Barbatos when we wake up.”

Mammon and I mumble our agreement, eyelids already fluttering with exhaustion. 

“I love you Arianthi,” Diavolo whispers.

“I love you too Dia.”

“Mammon?”  he says hesitantly.

“Mmmm?’

“You’re very special to me.”

The last thing I see before I drift off to sleep is Mammon’s shy smile as he responds.  “You’re special to me too Diavolo.”

Something rouses me from a deep sleep.  I look around the bedroom blearily; it’s completely dark.  Diavolo is still sleeping next to me, Mammon snoring softly beside him.  

I sit up and tilt my head to the side, listening carefully.  I hear a raised voice from the lower floor of the castle and the sound of several pairs of feet thudding up the stairs.

“Dia!”  I start shaking his shoulder.  “Dia wake up!  Someone’s here and I heard Barbatos shouting.”

“Barbatos doesn’t shout,” Diavolo mutters, pulling a pillow over his head, never even opening his eyes.

“Dia wake up and listen!”  I snatch the pillow away.

He blinks, giving me a dirty look before hearing the footsteps.  They’ve reached the top of the staircase now.  He props himself up on one forearm, reaching back to shake Mammon.

“Whaddaya want?”  Mammon grumbles, his head popping up over Diavolo’s shoulder.  His messy hair is haloed around his head and his eyes are barely open.

“Listen!”  I whisper. 

“That’s not Barbatos,” he says, eyes widening as he hears the commotion in the hallway now.

“Definitely not.”  Diavolo looks serious.  “Out of bed.  Get dressed quickly.  Whoever it is I’d rather meet them when we’re not naked.”

I pull back the blankets, ready to get out of bed, when the door to our bedroom flies open, slamming loudly against the wall.  I throw a hand up in self-defense, scooting back towards Diavolo.

Diavolo throws one arm around me, pulling me to him and pushing my head into his chest, his other hand reaching out for Mammon.  After a moment he gives a loud roar of outrage that vibrates in his chest, quickly followed by Mammon yelling, “Oi!  The fuck are you doing here?!”

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 89Xs1) "Dangerous But Sweet"

@lovemythsworld

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@crystalbaby12

Don can't find any of them anywhere for Check Out. No one is answering their doors or phones. Not even the responsible ones, like Ashleigh, Bullet or Benny.

Annoyed, he heads to Colson and Luna's suite. He HATES dealing with them, ever since they first met. Especially her.

The door is slightly ajar, concerning Don for a moment. Entering the room cautiously, he finds The Ten of Them sleeping on the floor. Curled up and splayed all over each other like little kids on the mattresses.

Rolling his eyes, he mutters "Fucking idiots." Before speaking loudly. "What the HELL is this shit? You better put these fucking beds back. I'm not explaining your fucking slumber party when the hotel charges the lable for damages."

The rude tone and words coming out of his mouth stirs them. Groggy, with monkeys beating drums inside their heads, they all wish he would just GOOO AWAAY.

Luna opens her eyes. Giving him a death stare.

"Will you EVER be cool, Don?" She asks him with a sigh.

"Will you ever NOT be a fucking bitch?" He fires back at her.

"YEOO." The bass in Colson's voice vibrates Luna's body as his head flies up from behind her. "Watch your FUCKING mouth, Motherfucker when talking to my girl." His tone is fierce in defense of Luna. "Matter of fact, get the FUCK out before you make me get the FUCK up." He warns before laying back into their warmth.

"Bye, Don." Luna states in a monotone voice.

"I don't know how either of you have a fucking career." He spits out.

The Ten of Them are irritable from their Trip last night. With NONE of them liking this DickHead at the moment. Brains still linked, his comment hits them all.

"BYE DON!!" The Ten shout in unison, none moving.

"Indigent Fucks." Is thrown over his shoulder as he storms out, slamming the door behind him.

Getting comfortable again, those that awoke go back to sleep. Fuck Don.

--------------------------------------------------

Colson is performing tonight at MidLand. Finally up and dressed, they're all there. Moving slowly, but they're there. Even before 2P at that. Hanging out back. Burning as they recount the night before. No one skates. They sit, stand or lean. The struggle is REAL.

Luna's starving. She needs cheeseburgers, pineapples and coffee in her life.

"Hook it up?" She asks The Boys.

Offering to Take Care of Them All to their Oh My God, Yes Please's.

Dressed simply in dark shades, her Yankees hat, ripped jeans and a black crop top, Luna pulls off Colson's jean jacket. She was cold earlier but is starting to warm up in the sun.

Slipping in between Colson's legs, she wraps her arms around his shoulders. They lean cheek to cheek for a minute. Breathing each other in. Last night being so intense, they can still feel the raw emotions.

"I'll be back. Text me what you guys want from McDonald's. Love you." She kisses his cheek lightly.

"Love you.... Don't forget we gotta pick Emma and Case up at 430P..." He reminds her to her nod of agreement.

Grabbing Sam and Ashleigh, they take a walk. Burning and sipping on water along the way.

-------------------------------------------------

The Boys take The Girls being gone as an opportunity to run a light rehearsal. Focusing on practicing the Sublime song Colson wants to cover tonight.

-------------------------------------------------

Luna's a bitch. Luna's a bitch who doesn't like to be ogled. Luna is a bitch who can't STAND creeps. Luna's an even BIGGER bitch when she's recovering from a drug binge and CATCHES someone acting creepy.

And thaaats's exactly what leads to what happens in the grocery store.

In the produce section, Luna's wandering around with Ashleigh looking for fresh cut pineapples. Sam's towards her left, in a cross aisle on her phone facing the wall.

Rounding the corner into another aisle, Sam now comes directly into Luna's eyesight. So is a man moving around weirdly in the same aisle as Luna and Ashleigh. He's facing towards Sam. Watching him as her and Ashleigh begin to walk passed, something makes Luna look down.

This pig, is standing in the aisle, behind his cart. He has his hand down his pants and is jerking off to an unknowing Sam.

It feels like slow motion as Luna sees what he's doing, life hitting fast forward once she fully realizes it.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!" Luna screams.

Grabbing the back of the cart and shoving it into the man with all her might. Knocking him down backwards on to the ground, she then moves the cart. Stomping his hand in place on his dick with her right foot.

"What the fuck, Loons!?!" Sam comes rushing over.

"Bro. You see this shit." Luna points to his hand trapped in his pants. "He was fucking jerking off to YOU. RIGHT FUCKING HERE."

Sam's reaction is the EXACT same as Luna's. Word. For. Word.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!"

She screams also. Bringing her knee up high, Sam starts to stomp down on the dude.

"You like jerking off to girls who don't know it? You fucking freak!" She continues to shout.

Luna joins in. Ashleigh standing back like the night in Chicago. Watching Sam and Luna stomp and kick the fuck out of A Jack Off Johnny of Kansas City.

"Let's see how much you like yanking it in the grocery store after that, Motherfucker." Sam spits on him before they leave him bloody and whimpering on the ground.

The two employees watching don't bother to aid the man or stop The Girls. His actions being unacceptable, they decide to leave him there.

Walking towards the door, Luna spies the fresh fruit she wants. Making their purchase, they leave the grocery store and head to McDonald's.

"Was he really whacken' off to her?" Ashleigh asks in uncomfortable disbelief.

"Yeah, dude." Luna says, disgusted.

She hates the world on a regular day. Today it's extra.

"I seen his fucking hand stuck down his pants, Ash." Sam says with a shudder.

"Why are men so gross..." Ashleigh complains.

Her low serotonin makes her sensitive to sadness. While Luna and Sam are both prone to anger and violence.

"Because there ain't enough women who ain't afraid to beat the fuck out of them when they act gross." Sam states angrily.

She's not wrong. 

"How do you guys know how to do that?" Ashleigh asks quietly.

"What?" Luna cocks her head towards her.

"Not be afraid of men and beat them up the way you do? I would never know how to do that." She says honestly.

"It's a NY thing." Luna blows her off.

Looking at Sam. Some words shouldn't be said. Just as some reasons never need to be relived.

------------------------------------------------- 

Sitting on the back loading dock of the venue, The Ten of Them are reunited eating their fast food and fresh fruit. Having so many bags of burgers, fries, nuggets and pineapples. Ten different sodas and iced coffees, The Girls had to snag a shopping cart to get it all back in one piece.

The Ten of Them are all still pretty miserable. Luna offering up a Xanax to whomever needs. That would be 8 out of 10.

Sitting next to Colson as she munches on a double cheeseburger, Luna's legs are swinging wildly. She loves beef and cheese. Almost as much as she loves Colson.

"Is that blood on your shoe?" Colson asks her, confused and slightly concerned.

"Damn it. That Motherfucker." Luna growls as she lifts her leg to see the tiny splatters.

"WHAT Motherfucker?" Colson now demands.

His possessiveness amuses to Luna. Sucking her teeth and preparing for his reaction, Luna tells the Tale of A Jack Off Johnny of Kansas City.

"Why the fuck didn't you call me?" He insists once she's finished.

"Imagine that...." She says dryly.

Putting her pinky and thumb to her ear, like a phone. She bobbles her head and wiggles her straightened shoulders. Voice and body mimicking a 1950s housewife.

"Hiii Honey, would you mind coming down to the local grocer. I've got a sexual predator trapped here under my foot but still need you to come defend my honor for me. Please?"

She changes her tone as she shoots him a Look with a "Yeah. No."

"I fucking hate when she acts like this... Like she's fucking invincible... She better never...." He doesn't even want to finish the thought. Knowing that his brain is mush and his girlfriend is a psychotic bitch with no fear.

"You're fucking insane." Is all he says, shaking his head as he bites into his burger.

"And you're beautiful and I love you." Luna tells him, nipping any argument in the bud.

Once they've finished eating, Luna and Sam borrow Baze, their instruments and stage to rehearse. Luna doesn't have a name for the Ellen song, she just keeps calling it, IT.

--------------------------------------------------

Watching Luna from SideStage, Colson's phone rings. It's a number he doesn't know.

"Hello?" He answers.

"Hi. Colson? It's Francis, Luna's friend. We met at your house in LA for her Tea Party..." Frannie introduces herself.

"Oh! Hey! Yeah, what's up?" He asks, moving away from the stage.

"I hope you don't mind but I got your number off Sam to that maybe we could touch base about Luna's birthday?" Frannie asks, striking fear into Colson's heart.

"Oh FUCK... I forgot her birthdays coming up." He knows her birthday, he just sometimes doesn't know the actual date of the day he's living in. Many occasions sneak up on him. Ashleigh usually catching them first. Plus, his brain is more wonked out than usual.

"Uhhh... Yeah... What were you thinking?" He opens his apps to check the day of the week it falls on.

"Well, Paris and I always throw her a party out here... Or we used too. We didn't the last two years... So we wanna do that.... Is there a date? Because we were thinking the 19th, not knowing what you guys have planned with this and the wedding and all...." Frannie trails off.

"Fuuuuckkk... The wedding. We don't even know when we're doing that...." Frannie hitting Colson with layers of reality he can't deal with.

"Uhmmm... Shit man. We're on tour right now and haven't really talked about any dates or even her birthday. Fuck, I feel like an Asshole." Colson winces when he instinctively rubs the back of his head, forgetting his new ink.

"Okayyyy... How about we throw her the party on the 19th. You have my number now... If you think of anything just hit me up. Sound good?" She asks.

"Yeah. Thank you. I'm sorry I'm such an Asshole with all of this.... I've never had a serious girlfriend like this before...." He says sheepishly.

"Soooo... You think you should just jump right to wife in three months?" Frannie's trying not to sound sarcastic but she can't help it.

"YEAH. I do. And so does Luna, since she did say Yes." Colson begins to feel slightly defensive.

"I'm sorry." Frannie backs down. "Luna and I are really old friends and I just think it's quick. When do you guys get back to LA? We'll hang out. Before the party." She suggests an olive branch.

"Yeah, deff. And me too. We're done at the end up this month. Call Luna and set something up and I'll keep us and whoever free on the 19th." Colson agrees with an irritated sigh.

"You have people?" She asks.

"Yeah, is that a problem." He doesn't like having to deal with Luna's friend right now.

"No... Not at all. I just need a head count for the space size." She replies to his Oh.

Asking him to text her a list, he agrees. Apologizing again for being rude before they get off the phone. It's false. Not caring who's daughter she is, Colson decides he doesn't like Frances.

---------------------------------------------------

"If they don't have a date... Maybe it just won't happen." Frannie thinks after she hangs up. It's not that she doesn't like Colson, she doesn't know him. Just like she didn't know the guy she married six months after meeting him. Now she can't get her dad's guitar back or rid of him.

-------------------------------------------------

Once off the phone Colson immediately calls Ashley.

"Yellow!!!" She answers, cheerfully like her words.

"Hey Ash..." Colson sighs, relieved to hear a friendly voice.

"Sup Kells?" She asks, concerned.

"Francis just called me about Luna's birthday party?" He tells her in a confused tone.

"Her and P are doing that this year? Oooh!! That's gonna be so fun!! We haven't done it for the last couple... I wonder why she hasn't called me yet..." Ashley babbles as Colson listens emotionlessly. "What day is it? Kells! What day is it on?" Ashley snaps him back.

"Uhh... Friday the 19th....?" He answers, still lost in his conversation with Francis

"Ewww... I'm pretty sure I'm already.."

"ASH!" Colson cuts her off. "I'm freakin' out Dawg. I don't think Francis likes me. I know I don't like her. Luna's birthday is in less then a month. I have nothing planned. We're supposed to get married next month and we don't even have a date. FUCK, I don't even think Luna has one dress, let alone two!!" He spouts off.

"Whoa man, chillax.... It's gonna be alright." Ashley laughs at him. "First. Fran'll be fine, she's projecting her own shit right now. Second. Have you talked to Loons about any of this or are you just freaking out because of Frannie?" Ashley digs for the root.

"I'm just kinda freakin' out." He admits.

"Talk to Loons, Kells. She may already have something in mind. You don't know. Just make sure you keep the 19th open if you really don't wanna get on Frannie's bad side." Ashley teases him.

Colson sighs and thanks her. Really glad to have her as a friend.

--------------------------------------------------

"DAADDDYYY!!!!" Casie comes running up to Colson.

Emma trailing behind her, the two women greet each other warmly. Hugs and How Are Yous before Casie squeezes Luna's guts out.

"I can't breath, Dilla!!" Luna pretends like she's choking to Casie's laughter.

Colson giving her a piggyback ride out of the airport. Luna helping Emma with Casie's luggage as they chat with each other.

--------------------------------------------------

Sat together for a late lunch at Border's Cafe, Casie colors as the adults order food and drinks.

"How's the wedding planning going?" Is the first thing Emma asks Luna and Colson.

"What the fuuuuuuckkkk...." His brain groans.

"Ahhh... You might be able to help if you wouldn't mind. I need a planner for Cleveland. Nothing big. Just a little get together at the house after." Luna says to Emma.

"Yeah, I have a friend who owns a catering business." She suggests.

"That'd be perfect." Luna says graciously.

"When are you guys gonna do it?" Is the dreaded question.

"Monday, the 29th." Luna says nonchalantly.

Colson whips his head over to look at Luna.

"We have a date?" He asks with a mixture of shock, relief and a little bit of jealousy.

Luna's face lights up with excitement. Grinning, she leans over to kiss his cheek. "We doooo!!! And it's really freaking awesome!" She shines as she pulls out her phone. "Look... TownHall only marries on Mondays and Fridays. So.... Ash cleared your schedule from the 29th till here." Luna points to the Sunday of EstFest. Looking up into Colson's oceanic eyes, she gives him THAT One Look that made him fall so deeply in love with her. "Meaning.... We are having a seven day wedding celebration with the possibility of two of them being somewhere...." Lost in her enthusiasm, Luna suddenly remembers where they are. Changing her last word. "Awwwwwesome...." Followed by another Look.

"SEVEN DAYS?!" He exclaims. Looking at her like she just cured cancer. Forgetting the jealousy of not being included in picking the date. "Seriously?? Seven days? That's fucking SICK, Kitten. Where you wanna go?" He asks, pulling her in for a kiss on the cheek.

"We'll figure that out later..." She shrugs.

The server coming to set their food down. Refilling their drinks.

"Do you have a dress?" Emma asks.

She likes to watch the interaction between Colson and Luna. It gives her some insight to what kind of environment her daughter is exposed to when with them.

"I do..." Luna begins to speak.

Colson cuts her off.

"Yo. I legit was just freaking out on the phone with Ash over all of this. The date, your dresses, your birthday...." Colson rambles on in relief.

"My Ash...? About my birthday?" Luna questions him as they eat.

"Yeah... We haven't talked about that one either. Got any secret plans there too?" Colson has a little sass to his tone, last night still lingering.

"I haven't really thought about it... Come on, C... This month has been insane. I only figured out the dates with Ash yesterday when we were getting The Bus cleaned. I'm gotta head out Monday night for NY. I need to rehearse with this new bassist before Ellen. Which ironically worked out because, I can stop at a friend of mine's so she can fit me. I also gotta look at a brownstone in Brooklyn Heights while I'm there too. I tried to work our schedules together because I wanted you to check it out with me but you'll be in Idaho. So, I'm gonna meet back up with you in Anaheim probably. Shit is non-stop. You know this, Sugar." Luna explaining one day of her life next week. Emma tired just thinking about it.

"You need to see the Dr too." He reminds her.

"Motherfucker!!" Luna's mind bursts just as Emma opens her mouth.

"You okay, Luna? You sick?" She asks.

Casie's head pops up. Proving kids are always listening.

"Did the blueberries get you!??" She asks with wide eyes.

Luna can't help but laugh with Colson at Casie. Explaining to Emma her allergy and side stepping her with the explanation of an Annual Exam for work. It's not a full lie.

They enjoy the rest of their lunch. Emma choosing to catch a flight right black to Clevland. With hugs and kisses, she promises she'll see Casie in a week. Pecking Colson and Luna GoodBye with tight hugs. Reminding Luna that she'll send her the contact information for her friend as she gets into her uber.

--------------------------------------------------

"Wait!! Look what I got!!" Casie pulls off her school bag with excitement.

They're still standing on the sidewalk outside of Border's. Waiting for their own uber as Casie digs through her bag. Popping up once she's found what she was looking for. Proudly displaying two homemade, beaded bracelets.

"I made these for you. They're Love Bracelets. Because you're in loooove and I love YOU." She grins as she snakes her head at the two of them.

Casie makes both of their irritated souls lift with happiness. Cold hearts melt with adoration. Slipping hers on, Luna squats down to hug Casie.

"I love it, Dilla. I'll wear it everyday." She promises.

"Me too, Peanut!!" Colson scoops her up, attacking her with kisses.

"Daaaaad!!!! Stooop!!!" She laughs uncontrollably.

"Okay, okay..." He laughs, setting her down. "Here.."

He reaches for Luna's hand. Taking a picture of their gifts. He posts it to his Insta.

"Peanut made us Love Bracelets. My kid is deff the coolest 😭🙏🏽💖 #estfest can't come fast enough. 😈🔐🐈"

---------------------------------------------------

Back at MidLand, everyone's BackStage. Alcohol still flows but they've moved smoking outback. Away from Casie.

Coming down the stairs, Luna catches Casie drumming on the wall. Snagging a quick picture of her favorite little human with her favorite tall human in the background.

"That's gonna be my family..." Luna's eyes well up as she thinks of them lovingly.

"Looney!!!" Casie calls for her once she sees her. "I'm goin on stage with Dad tonight!" She grins excitedly.

"Yeah?" Luna beams at her. "What are you gonna play?"

"What I Got." Casie responds proudly.

"THE GOODNIGHT SONG!!" Luna shakes a giggling Casie. "Make sure you don't fall asleep on stage!!" She teases the little girl.

"Looney... It's too loud to fall asleep on stage." She states as a matter of fact.

"You're right, Dilla. Silly me." Luna laughs as she shakes her head at herself.

-------------------------------------------------

The show is wild as always. The Boys making about a 90% recovery by time they hit the stage. Running through the same setlist as most of this leg of the tour. Casie sings all of her dad's songs SideStage with Luna, Ashleigh and Sam. The Girls still passing a bottle but skipping the joints.

Luna dips off to change before heading OnStage. Dressing in black leather pants and a sheer open back black long sleeved top. Her ass looks phenomenal. Colson can't keep his hands off her while they're OnStage together.

Holding her from behind by the waist as he sings the last line with her, he nuzzles into her neck. Sending electricity through her body as she brings her hand down his face delicately.

"Y'all know we're getten' married, right?" He grins at the crowd's explosion. "We're doin' it at EstFest... Three day fucking RAGER!!" He shouts to the room's wild screams.

"That's right..." Luna chimes in. "This year we're extending it until Sunday with two special surprise performances for you guys. It's gonna be FUCKING WILD!!!" Luna laughs.

"WHO'S COMEN' TO CELEBRATE WITH US!??" He shouts as his fans roar.

He turns to Luna. "You think they'll come?" He asks

"I think they'll come." She answers him before turning back to the audience. "You gonna miss a helluva party if you don't...." She teases before kissing Colson.

"See ya there!!" Luna shouts as she glides OffStage. Right into a tiny Casie.

"Looney, I'm hungry." She pouts.

"We better fix that before you have to perform, hunh? I think we've got Pizza Bites on The Bus, wanna check it out with me?" Luna asks to Casie's nod.

Checking their time with Ashleigh, they have 45mins. Luna takes the little girl's hand in hers as they head off on their mission.

--------------------------------------------------

"You're the best, Looney." Casie states as she munches on pizza rolls.

"Thanks Dill. You're pretty rad yourself, kiddo." Luna smiles at her.

"So, you and dad getting married means you'll be my Looney forever?" She asks.

"Yup. Forever and ever." Luna answers as her heart swells.

"I want a sister NOT a brother." Casie stresses her request.

"WHAT?" Luna asks her with a scrunched face.

"When people get married, they have a baby. I want a girl baby." She explains.

Casie is freaking Luna the fuck out. "Where the HELL is Colson when I fucking need him..." She thinks. Not knowing how to answer.

"Well...." Luna sighs. "I'm preeeetty sure you don't get to pick whether it's a boy or girl. And, how about we get married first and have fun with you. Then maybe a baby might come.... But they don't always."

"FUCK... You should've shut up 10secs ago, you fucking idiot." Luna mentally scolds herself.

"Why?" Casie asking the question Luna knew was coming.

Luna has no idea what to fucking say. How do you tell your 10yr old, soon-to-be step daughter, that she's the only kid you like. That idea of birth and pregnancy makes you want to jump off of a bridge.

"Uhhhhmmm...." Luna chooses science. "You know how my body gets mad at me with blueberries?"

Casie nods.

"Sometimes babies are like blueberries and they just don't agree with some people's bodies..." Luna is struggling hard.

"So you'll die?" Casie asks with terror.

"Oh FUCK my life...." Is all Luna can think.

"No... No... Case, no.... It's just, sometimes blueberries aren't for everyone and sometimes babies aren't for everyone too... Does that make sense?" Luna asks her, confusing her own self.

"I guess." Casie pops up.

Dropping her dish in the sink. She washes her hands.

"Ready?" She asks.

"Yes." Luna has never been more ready in her life.

--------------------------------------------------

With the venue dark, Colson's voice quiets the crowd.

"I brought my Queen out here tonight... Now, I'm gonna bring out my Princess. Come on, Case." He calls her out.

He starts on his acoustic.

🎼Early on the morning, Rising to the street,

Light me up that cigarette, As I strap shoes on my feet🎶

Grinning at Casie, nods at her. She comes in with him. Changing certain lyrics.

🎶I got a Dalmatian, I can still get by, I can play the guitar, Like a motherchucken riot🎶

They sing before Colson hits the guitar solo. Having sang this song together all her life, they hit the notes and lyrics flawlessly. Not missing one beat.

🎶Never start no static, I just get it off my chest, Never had to battle With no bulletproof vest, Take a small example, Take a tip from me, Take all of your money, Give it all to charity, Love is what I got, It's within my reach, And the Sublime style's still straight from Long Beach, It all comes back to you, You'll finally get what you deserve, Try and test that you're bound to get served, Love's what I got, Don't start a riot, You'll feel it, When the dance gets hot🎶

Luna goes wild from SideStage. Cheering them on. Colson looking over Casie's head to grin at her. Loving her more each moment that she doesn't drive him crazy.

"THANK YOU KANSAS CITY!!! YOU WERE FUCKING SICK!!!! GOODNIGHT!!! Colson shouts, ending the show.

Holding hands with Casie, he kisses her on the cheek before passing her to Ashleigh. Colson hasn't fucked Luna all day and is dying to climb inside of her.

"We'll be back." He calls over his shoulder as he takes Luna's hand.

--------------------------------------------------

"I'm gonna rip these fucking pants off you." Colson says in frustration with Luna's zipper in between kisses. Out comes the blade again.

"No! I love these pants!!" She stops him, peeling them off herself. "Can you handle the fucking shirt?" She asks turning around for him to unzip it.

Zippers down, they're both naked in less then 30secs. Colson gripping Luna up by the ass and setting her on the edge of a table. He pushes his large dick inside of her warm pussy as she wraps herself around him.

"How come ever time I fuck you it feels like the first time?" He moans out.

"Cuz this pussy was made for you, Lover." Luna purrs into his ear.

Thrusting her hips into him as he bounces her body off his dick. They fuck each fast with a fierce hunger.

"My dirty girl likes it rough, hunh." Colson pants as he pulls Luna's hair back.

Sinking his teeth into her neck, making her buck harder. Clawing his back as she begs Yes Please.

"Mhmm... Take this fucking dick." He demands.

Making her body quiver, Luna losses all control. Gripping him harder, Luna fucks another two orgasms out of herself before Colson drops his load inside of her.

"FUCK." They both breathe out, sweaty and sex stained. Like usual, they hold each other as Colson rests in his favorite place. Both beyond content in each other's arms.

"We gotta get Case..." Luna reminds him.

As they clean up and change, they burn a joint together. Colson jumping on her so fast in the dressing room they didn't even light an After Show Sex Joint.

Just as they're about to walk out, Colson puts his large hand against the door. Stopping her.

"Wait. We get married on Monday and don't have anything to do till EST on Friday?" He asks.

"Yeah..." Luna smiles out the answer.

"You figure out where you wanna go. We gonna have ourselves a proper mini honeymoon, baaaaaby." He says in a weird country accent.

"I fucking love you." Luna cheeses as she reaches up for another kiss. ---------------------------------------------------

Word Limit (1 of 2) To be continued.......

[jay-and-dean]

Captive Chapter 6 : Secrets

gif not mine

_Dean x Reader_

Summary :

Dean Winchester is an enemy.

Every man of letters and hunters are enemies.

During the Great Purge in Europe, when every european Men of Letters allied to eradicate monsters once and for all, using hunters as their cold-blooded hounds, long before the BMOL took an interest in USA, they killed my mother, and made me go through hell. I killed so many of them I lost count, and lived a life on the run. Until one day I heard about American Men of Letters extinction, and decided to try and find peace there.

That was without counting on the exile of some BMOL, and the existence of the two best hunters of the world.The fisrt time I saw Sam Winchester, I almost killed him, and Dean has me now…

He is going to kill me, right ?

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***CAPTIVE MASTERLIST***

***MASTERLIST***

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Future warnings : Violence and captivity, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Chapter Warnings : Angst, heartbreak, secrets, swearing, blood, fluff, smut.

Words : 8.5 k (I did it again…)

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Sam's pov

           Billie never answered. Angels never let Cas go to Heaven to check on Dean, they didn't even confirm he is there. Rowena can't bring him back, not the real him anyway.

           I'm desperate.

           The first minute I was stoned, dizzy. I watched Y/n has she understood faster than me, she was screaming and begging, her breathing was whistling. And my brother was lying in her arms, inert but intact, not like when the Hellhound tore him apart or when Metatron broke his face before stabbing him.

           It's almost like he is sleeping.

           Then I have to call Cas and he tells me, tears in his eyes and in his voice, that we can't stay in that parking motel. I spend an eternity trying to make Y/n let go of Dean's body. She won't, she yells at me. And when Cas and I take him from her, she begs. It's unbearable.

           I lose track of hours. I'm frenzied. Trying to find a way to bring him back, I forget to eat or pee... Everything. I need my brother. I can't lose my brother. Not again, not for good. Y/n stays by his bed completely silent, looking at him, barely blinking. She just sits there, dry tears all over her face, his hand in hers.

           It's her that makes me react. That's her complete torpor, like she died with him, that makes me realize we have to burn his body now. She refuses, silently at first but when Cas enters the room she panics and starts yelling at me again. It's like she was possessed, her screams make the walls tremble, her blue eyes shine like never, she fights us like a lioness would fight for her cubs. But when she unintentionally hits me hard, she stops and falls on her knees, crying.

           She doesn't come with me to the hunter funeral, and even if I'm a little afraid to leave her alone, I have to say this is a relief, her pain is more than I can bear. I cry for hours watching Dean's body burn, even after everyone left.

           And a week pass... I still try to find a way to bring Dean back and I try to keep Y/n alive. She doesn't eat, she lays on his bed all the time and when I try to talk to her she just says she's sorry, that she can't move.

           Then I realize she is going to die. That's what she wants to, she has nothing left I guess. And for a second I envy her, because right now I want nothing more than to lay next to my brother's ashes in that forest and sleep forever. But there is Jack, and Cas. And there is her. Dean, he loved her truly, like I never seen him, like he was ready to let her in his life. That thing between them is sacred, and it is my duty to take care of her now.

             I knock on Dean's door and bite my lips as I come in, it still kind of smells like him in here.

"Hey Y/n..." I try.

She doesn't answer so I put a knee on the bed to get closer. She squeezes the pillow she's been cuddling.

"Let me help you" I say weakly. "Talk to me."

"I can't..." she whispers.

I sigh and come closer, then I lay on the bed beside her. We stay silent for a moment, she, turning her back on me and holding that pillow, I, looking at the ceiling.

"I miss him like crazy, you know" I start, hoping that talking to her would make her talk to me. "This morning I found expired bacon in the fridge and start crying like a baby... This is so painful I don't think I'm realizing fully."

"I do..." she says with a broken voice. "I realize perfectly" she starts to cry. "I realize that I won't see him ever again and that I won't hear his voice, he will never say knew words and taste new food... Th-that he will never know what happens at the end that show we watched together... I perfectly realize that his smell will fade and, and that nothing will ever compare to it."

Her words break my heart and I start to cry. The things she says are true and I have a thousand more of those ideas when it comes to my brother, but it is her voice, that tone like every one of her cells were in agony.

"I... I need him to take me in his arms" she sobs. "I need him so bad and he will never come back. I... I'm not ev-even human... I'm not sure I'll see him in Heaven. But I c-can't, I'm sorry Sam I can't keep going. There is nothing left for me..."

"There is me" I try, strangled.

"And I love you Sammy, you are the only friend I ever had... But I..." she's struggling to breathe. "I can't... It has to stop, that p-pain. I can't take it... I can't take it Sammy. I can't..."

           I turn to take her in my arms, spooning her. She's shaking and cold, her stifling sobs preventing her from talking. I know I can't make her feel better, I have to give her a purpose so she won't kill herself.

"Martins did that" I whisper. "The man who hurt you all those years took Dean from us. Don't let me avenge him all alone. Fight with me, one last time, Y/n. Fight."

She stiffens in my arms.

"Okay..." she says and I silently take a deep breath.

 Reader's Pov

             I totally lost track of this motherfucker. I found one or two Men of Letters and they told me Martins was missing. He just vanished a few days after he killed Dean. I guess he fears what I'm going to do to him.

           He has no idea...

           Even if I'm a wreck, I stand like a hollow shell. I eat to power my body but nothing have taste, I shower because that's what people do, but I don't remember I did most of the time, I puke most of what I eat, and I still can't sleep, pleading the pain to stop at night. I can't feel anything, neither real physical pain nor pleasure, only that unbearable agony of him being dead, each and every second. I have that image of Dean burned inside my eyelid, so I cry whenever I close my eyes... But I'm still alive.

           My body is constantly craving, but I don't really understand what it asks for, except Dean. I guess that's what they call missing.

           Sam is the kindest human being. Even with the immeasurable loss he's dealing with, he's still sweet and patient with me, yet I can see him lose weight and grow more tired every day. Dean would know how to take care of him...

           I killed exactly fourteen Men of Letters since my love was taken from me. They all told me the mission was aborted, because Martins was missing. No more recruitment, no more talking about the Blue Death. Dean would have loved that. But he's not here to hear them, so I cut their throat and move to the other without any relief.

           I come back home covered in blood and nod to Sam when he asks me if I found one more.

"I bought pizza" he says.

Dean will never eat pizza again... I'm not hungry, I'm nauseous even, so I frown and leave the room telling him I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say, he's trying so hard to make me live. But he has to understand I'm already dead.

           I get in the shower and wash the blood off of my hands, watching it run around my fingers and fall in the water at my feet. I'm dizzy, my stomach hurts but I don't care. Dean will never shower again... I play in repeat that time I yelled at him in that bathroom in my head. I was so afraid he would break my heart ; that's strange to think of this now...

           I remember him thrusting inside of me and it's almost like I could still feel him there, stretching me too reach deep within me. How I felt full and whole with him around and inside me. I put a hand on my lower stomach. I would kill to feel him here again.

           Tears fall from my eyes and I bite my lips to focus on revenge, to let the sharp pain going through me without killing me. Not yet.

           When I wrap myself in his blanket, knowing I won't sleep at all, I start to pray out loud.

"Please... Just please tell me he's in Heaven... I'm begging you" I burst in tears. "I won't- I won't ask anything anymore, I just need to know he's happy and warm. I... I need to be sure someone takes care of him. Please. Please. Please..." I ignore how pathetic I sound.

"Dean..." I cry. "Dean baby, please..."

 Sam's Pov

             She's crying again, begging Dean to come back, pleading him, saying she can't breathe, saying she needs him to make her breathe like he used to do.

           I'm crying against her door again. Is it possible that she loves him that much ? Is it possible that my brother will never come back ? Tonight I can't come inside the room 11 like I sometimes do. This is beyond my strength.

           And my lie is killing me.

           Castiel said I shouldn't lie to her, but I can't do other way, she would have died if I told her what I did.

           I killed Martins.

           I found him, and I watched life leave him as I killed him slowly, high on grief, not even recognizing myself. I hid the lead I was following because I knew if she finds him, she'll kill him and die. And she's the best hunter, so I knew I had to find him quick, I had to do it first. He was strong, he was redoubtable, I almost got killed during that fight, but I had my hate to make me stronger. He asked me why I would care for that girl, that monster. And I stabbed him once more.

"She was just a baby angel..." I told him.

"You have no idea Winchester."

           I stole her vengeance, for Dean and for her childhood, for her life.

           Since then I watch her look under every rocks, follow every path, torture and kill to find him. And I just don't say a word.

           I lied to her about those bruises he made on my face, and about the one Bobby made on my jaw that time we fought. He told me it was her fault Dean was dead, and I lost my temper, I just hit the man in the face, and he fought back.

           Everything is falling apart...

 Reader's Pov

             I get up at 5, I fell asleep for the first times in a long time, I slept three or four hours. I'm still exhausted, defeated by despair, but I need to find Martin. Sooner I get him, sooner I can end this hell.

           But lately, there is something strange about me, I mean, except the fact that my soul shattered, it's like my energy wasn't regenerating anymore. My wounds don't heal, the bruises don't fade, the exhaustion won't leave me. Is it because of how bad I want to die ?

           As I try to get up, I fall loudly, taking the bedside lamp with me when I try to lean on the nightstand. It shatters on the floor. I'm stunned for a moment. It never happened to me before, not even when they poisoned me to see if my body could heal without antidote and I was extremely sick for a month.

"Y/n, you're okay ?" Sam says, opening the door.

When he sees me on the floor he rushes to help me.

"What happened ?"

"I don't know" I frown. "My head keeps spinning."

"You have to eat and sleep" he sighs.

"But I eat ! I ate a full meal yesterday, I even drank the smoothie you made me..."

I struggle to get on my feet, even with the tall hunter's help.

           In the bathroom, I grunt. If I can't stand properly, I will fail in front of the enemy. And I can't. I can't fail because I look forward to stop feeling anything.    

           "Maybe you should rest today" Sam states when I enter the kitchen to take a piece of bread.

"No, I can't offer that son of a bitch a bonus day. He has to die, this is taking too long."

"Y/n... Are you sure you're eating ? Because you look skinnier everyday" he says and I point at my mouth full of bread.

"Well I don't know, you don't look so good..." he shrugs.

"Of course I don't" I say with my mouth full and drink milk from the bottle.

           When I turn I almost fall again, catching myself on the counter. Sam gets up and grabs my arm. He sighs.

"Y/n..." I push him away. "Dean would have wanted you to live" he whispers.

I look at him with so much hurt in my eyes, it reflects on his.

"Dean would have wanted to live" I grunt.

"He sacrificed to save your life, are you going to act like it means nothing ?"

"He died because of me..." I murmur trying not to cry again.

"That's not what I said. I just... You fought all your life, are you going to just give up now ?"

"Yeah ! Why not ?" I groan.

"You know what ? Dean would be so disappointed in you right now !" Sam mutters, clenching his fists.

"FUCK YOU SAM !" I yell running out of the room.

             I hate myself and I hate everything. I hate that Sam is right, and that I yelled at him.

           I enter Dean's room and let my body fall on the bed. My stomach and my head ache. I put my face in my hands and take a deep breath. I feel like I could faint.

"Y/n" Sam says, entering slowly.

"I'm sorry Sammy. I shouldn't have talked to you like that" I whisper.

"I guess I had it coming... Y/n, let me ask Cas to check on you, please."

"Sam... Sam can't heal me, you know that... he tried once, remember ?"

"Please Y/n..." he pleads.

"Bring me mac and cheese..."

"What ?" he raises his eyebrows.

"Dean always made me mac and cheese. I want some... If you do this for me I'll let Cas check on me even if I'm sure he won't be able to see or do anything. I have to be in a good shape to fight Martins."

           Sam offers me a beautiful smile and I see the Winchesters genes on his face, somehow it makes the pain even worse, because those similarities remind me of a thousand ways Dean was different.

             When he leaves, I look down at my body. What is happening to me ? I undress and stare at myself. Bruises are still not fading, even that one Dean made digging in my hips while we were making love.

           I put my hand on the three little blue points his fingers made, and start crying. I would like them to never vanish, I want Dean everywhere on me. I want to keep every remains on my skin.

           My body is an altar, my body is his. They tried to control it, break it, own it, but he made me feel it and love it...

           Thinking about that I notice the tattoo on my hip. That fucking enochian symbol, the same Ketch carved on my skin. Except Dean took care of it and the scars disappeared completely... Now it's my turn to make the unwanted marks go.

           With steady hands and a straight, determined face, I decide I won't die with their mark on me, only Dean's. I take a knife.

           I don't want to get my love's room dirty, so I take a tank top of mine, panties, and leave it.

           I enter the dungeon and take a deep breath. Who would have know my time in here were among my best memories ? I sit on the floor where my mattress were. I think about that first kiss, about Dean's wrinkles and about the way he used to smile when he was tired... I just, as always, think about him.

           The knife enters my skin, right below the tattoo and I clench my teeth. I'm done being marked like an animal, I know what love is now, I know what I want and what I deserve.

           Blood is running abundantly on my thigh and I try to remove the entire tattoo without damaging my muscles and nerves too much. I have to fight soon and I clearly don't heal fast, or at all, anymore...

"Shit..." I grunt when pieces of my flesh fall on the floor. Still, I don't really care about anything anymore.

           But before I can finish completely, my head spins and the smell of blood unexpectedly makes me sick. It never has before.

I faint.

             I open my eyes and see I'm bathing on my own blood, half naked on the dungeon's floor. My stomach aches so much.

"You're beautiful" a voice makes me jump.

I lift my head in a moan of effort, realizing I might actually be dying.

           A man is here. A middle aged man, not that tall, with dirty blond slightly long hair and incredible golden eyes.

"Who are you ?" I mutter trying to sit. "Where is Sam ?"

"Sam just run out of gas..." he says calmly.

"If you want me dead, get in line... behind me actually" I groan, putting a hand on my lower belly. Is that what women describe has period cramps ?

"I'm not here to hurt you" he states.

"Does Martins send you ?"

"Actually, he prevented me from knowing about you for years. I'm not fond of him. Good thing he is in hell."

"He's not..." I frown. "He killed Dean."

"Yeah and Sam killed him" he shrugs. "Let me look at you... Wow, you are really pretty and brave."

I take a deep breath because just talking is exhausting now.

"He didn't find him..."

"Yes" he insists. "He did, and never told you because, well, you know our sweet Sam, he's going to do all it takes to keep you safe."

A tear roll down my eyes as I think about Sam lying to me, I don't have enough strength to be furious, but I feel anger punch my chest.

"Now I have a mistake to undo" he says. "Y/n... I'm so sorry they used me to do this to you. And I'm sorry for your mother, she seemed like a brave girl, and you clearly got her looks."

He kneels next to me and helps me sit straight.

"Who are you ?" I ask with my jaw clenched.

"They call me Gabriel."

"Gabriel ?" I sigh puzzled. "The archangel ?... Didn't you die ?"

"Well, hiding I'm not actually dead has been my specialty... And Y/n... I'm your father."

"What ?" my head spin and I have to put my palm under it to keep straight.

"That tattoo kept me from knowing about you, they used me. I don't know how they found out I was on Earth back then... I'm here now."

I look into his eyes and feel cold heavy tears fall on my thighs.

           I prayed all my life, I begged Heaven, I cried so many night and waited for an angel for so long. And my father is Gabriel. The last archangel alive... All I had to do was removing that tattoo... That's why they carved it so often on me.

"Too late" I sigh.

"It's not, I can heal you. I'm here to make things right."

"Dean is dead. Nothing matters anymore. The only thing you could do is tell me if he's in Heaven"

"Rah ! Dean... If anyone had told me my daughter would... Dean Winchester. I mean. Fate won't let me forget about them... Listen. He is. He is in Heaven and it's a beautiful Heaven..."

I inhale like I just escaped drowning, loudly and powerfully. And the stranger claiming to be my father continues talking :

"I know about you now. Let me take you back in time, I will protect your mother and you, give you a good life. No more pain, loneliness, no more misery. Dean promised you no one would hurt you again, I can promise you no one would have ever done it..."

"What ?" my head's spinning.

"I never knew I wanted an offspring, until fifteen minutes ago, for you, for me it's been months. Now I need to protect you. My first thought was to go back in past and turn down your mother's mouthwatering offer... But you are my daughter, Y/n, just seeing you..."

"No, thank you."

"How can you refuse to let me offer you the life you prayed for all those years ?" he frowns, searching my face. "I heard all your prayers in one go when you ripped that off your skin, you know. I started to cry in the middle of a poker game..."

"If Dean is not part of this life, it means nothing at all..."

"Dean again !" he rolls his eyes.

"Unless that means he doesn't die because of me..."

"Y/n... I froze time I spent an entire year digging into your past, I can't stand what they did to you. You could grow so powerful without those spells, you could compete with Jack, with me... No one would be able to hurt you ever again."

I bend because of the pain in my belly. And he sits, soaking his pants in my blood.

"You are not changing you mind, aren't you ? You're suborn, just like your father" he seems to fight an internal war, and finally sighs. "Okay listen. You are going to live."

"What for..." I cry.

"Because those strange feeling you are experimenting, the headache, the sharp pain in your belly, this dizziness and all... This is pregnancy."

My eyes widen, my hands start to shake like crazy even if I'm not sure I'm processing what he just said.

"What ? Are you crazy ? I'm not... I can't !"

"I'm used to announce pregnancies, now I guess" he tries to joke, referring to the Bible.

"I can't be pregnant !" I yell, indifferent to his humor.

"Except it happened, true love can be surprising sometimes... I just learned I was a father, and I have to be a grandfather right away..." he smiles wistfully.

He touches my sweaty hair but I'm too shocked to protest. I look down at my lower belly and burst in tears.

           I can feel it now. I know he's not lying.

"Listen to me Y/n."

I don't, I rub my stomach, and breathe laboriously.

"Y/n, listen to me carefully" he says seriously, taking my face in his hands. "I give you two options : Either you come with me, I make you happy and powerful, give you the childhood you deserve, clean this mess... I can even show you Heaven. Dean... he will die anyway, but you will never miss him because you won't know him. You won't need him to be happy." I cry even more but keep my eyes on his beautiful golden ones. "Or... I let you there, with that little boy in your belly. But you have to fight for your life. You have to take care of you because he takes your energy, and you can't allow to brutalize your body like you always did. You have to eat and walk and sleep. You have to take care of you, and him."

I nod.

"Tell me" he says letting go of my face.

"I- want that b-baby" I stammer, shaken by emotions. "He's Dean's. I won't ever choose a life in which it disappears. This baby boy is a part of Dean..."

"So... you are ready to suffer that agonizingly sorrow of losing the man you love because you love him too much to forget about him or to lose something you never wanted..." he shakes his head. "Are you sure ?"

I nod.

           He touches my hair and the pain on my waist fades. The bruises vanish, the dizziness calms a little. He bends and puts a kiss on my forehead.

"Dean tricked the Trickster good in the end, knocking up my daughter, depriving me of the opportunity to be a father..." he looks a bit sad. "But he's a good man. I never thought I'll say that but the Winchesters are great men, I'm happy my grandson will have this name... I guess he's the only one that could make you happy now I missed this opportunity as a father. I'm sorry for everything, Y/n, I know you don't need me in your life, I'm too late like you said. Please let me see him from time to time, if he looks like you it will be quite a sight" he kindly takes my hand.

"I hope he'll look like Dean" I smile in a sob.

"Just know your prayers are heard from now on..."

With that he vanishes in a majestic sound of wings.

             I look down at my still flat belly and try to calm my heart. I can't do this without him. I can't do this without Dean... I need him...

"DEAN !" I scream in sobs.

           Sam enters running. He let himself fall on his knees and takes me in his arms, he's shaking and sweating.

"I thought they got you... I thought... I knew for sure I had enough gas and suddenly... Someone wanted me to be far from you..." he looks at my face and my body. "Did somebody hurt you ? What is all thas blood ?" he panics.

"It's mine, but I'm okay. He healed me."

"What ? Who ?" he pants.

"Gabriel."

His eyes widen.

"Gabriel is dead" he says.

"No... He... Sam it's him. My-my father..."

He searches my eyes and stop breathing for a second.

"The archangel Gabriel ?"

I nod.

"He was the Target, they knew he was on Earth, they knew he was among humans and let the ladies... the tattoo kept him from feeling me but now... I... removed... Sam I'm pregnant." I blurt out.

"What ?" he asks puzzled.

           I sit and tell him everything, I tell him what the archangel said. I'm confused and crying and clinging to his flannel but he listens to me.

"He has to bring Dean back !" he says. "He owes you that !"

I shrug, lowering my eyes.

"He gave me a choice, Sammy..."

           I'm sitting on the war room table, stroking at my still absent baby bump, Sam is talking continuously, about Gabriel, about using him to bring Dean back, about that child in my belly, about everything... He's walking fast between the kitchen, the bathroom to bring me what I need to remove the blood, and the war room, giving me tones of food while he asks me a thousand questions and answers it before I can open my mouth every time.

"I can't do this without him..." I whisper, making him stop.

"You can, you are the toughest person I've met... And I've met my family" he smiles. "And you won't be alone, I'm right here, Y/n."

"I want Dean, now..." I cry like a child.

           The doors opens in a loud noise, and when I look up it's like the sun had just switched itself back on.

           Dean.

           Dean is there.

           He looks down at us and sighs in relief, a hand on his heart.

"Shit ! What happened ?" he looks so worried.

I can't move, I stare at him while he quickly goes down the stairs and Sam join him in long steps to hug him roughly.

           In the arms of his brother, Dean doesn't stop looking right in my red puffy eyes. I didn't even remember how beautiful he was. I stand there, tears still running down my cheeks but I stay silent, motionless.

"You were dead, Dean !" Sam cries in his brother's arms.

Not being the one against his chest is painful but keeping my eyes on him eases everything.

"I know... I woke up in the forest... How long ?"

"Almost two months" Sam says letting go of him.

           And Dean turns to me. He walk slowly as if he didn't want to scare me. I get up.

"You look exhausted and leaner..." he says low.

"You were dead" I shrug.

"Shit angel, look at you..." he whines with tears in his eyes.

"I love you too" I says, sniffing.

He bends slowly and cups my face like I was fragile, then he puts his lips on mine gently.

"I love you..." I cry against his perfect plumb lips.

He kisses me again.

"You were gone and I..." I continue. "I can't live without you, Dean. I can't..."

"I'm here" he takes me in his arms. "I'm here, angel..."

             I don't know how long I stay in his arms, but when I stop focusing on only his face, I'm laying on the couch on him, he strokes my hair while talking to Sam.

"Gabriel !" he suddenly says a little louder.

He looks down at me. I nod.

"Angel, you're the Trickster's daughter ?"

I nod again and wrap my arms tighter around him, almost afraid he would be mad at me for that.

"She's an archangel Nephilim, Dean, that makes sense" Sam says handing his brother a beer.

"Your father killed me a hundred times, you know that baby ? With a piano once, and with a taco..." he smiles at me, squeezing me a little more. "He also helped us so many times..."

           Sam talks about the fact that he killed Martins, and I don't even react. I know I'm mad at him deep down, but Dean is here, nothing else matters.

"Sammy..." Dean cuts him. "I'm going to bed."

"But you just came back !"

Then there is a silence and I look up. They're having a silent talk like they often do.

"Okay we'll talk about everything tomorrow" Sam says. "I'm so glad you're back, Dean."

He gets up, kiss my forehead, touches his brother's shoulder, I take his hand and squeeze it, like I was thanking him. He smiles sweetly and leaves, taking a book with him.

           Dean hums slightly, puts his beer down and wraps his two strong arms around me, crushing me just a little.

"What did you tell your bother ?" I whisper, snuggling even more against him.

"Something like : The last thing I told her before I die is that I love her, I would love some private time with her to talk about that" he says and I can't help smiling.

"All that ? What did he answer ?"

"A lot of things angel... That he had been worrying like hell for you, that he can't believe I'm back, that he understands... And there was something else in his look..." he wonders. "Like... I don't know."

I look down at my stomach and start to shake a little. I was too drown in him, I had almost forgotten. Shit, what am I going to do ?

"Are you okay angel ?" he suddenly worries, sensing my body tense.

"Yeah..."

"Did you eat today ?" he says kissing my cheek.

"I did"

"So come here" he says taking me in his arms to help me get up. "We're going to bed" he slips a arms under my knees to carry me. "You don't weight anything angel, you better gain weight."

I bite my cheek, thinking about my belly going round in a few weeks.

"I will" I promise in a sigh.

           He puts me down on his bed and takes his shirt off. When my tank top goes up and shows my stomach I tug on it to hide, even if I know he can't see it yet. It's too much, I'm just not ready, I'm afraid I'll ruin his life. He's a hunter, he doesn't want this...

"Have you seen my pillow ?" he asks in a soft murmur and I start panicking again.

With trembling hands I take it from the side of the bed I've been crying every night and give it to him.

"Hey, calm down. I'm here now. Breathe angel... look at me... breathe. Look at my mouth, baby" he says making that o with his lips.

"I couldn't b-breathe when y-you were..."

           He lays next to me and take me in his arms, making me feel the warmth of his soft skin, and his lips on my shoulder.

"My bed smells like you" he whispers in a shy smile.

I would like to tell him how I was terrified by his smell fading away but I stay silent, and lower my head to allow my lips to touch his hair.

           "How was it ?" I murmur after a while.

"What ?"

"Heaven ?" I dare, moving his hand a little when it rest on my lower stomach.

"Hum... It was you mostly..." he murmurs and I feel a tear run down my cheek, but not a heavy, painful tear ; that one is calm, silent.

Then we fall asleep, not right away, but after a while I just let it take me, focusing on Dean's body, feeling him wrap me like he does, like only him can do, with the large and warm wings of his magnificent soul.

 Dean's Pov

             I wake up before her. Of course I do, I don't really need sleep, I slept for weeks. She looks so tired and so beaten. I can't even imagine what she's been through, if what she says is true, if she loves me... The idea of losing her is killing me.

           Is it possible that she loves me ? I tortured her, captured her, kept her locked up, yelled at her... And yet, just by the way she's holding me, I could swear I can feel it. That love. No one ever touched me like that, no even Lisa.

           I look at her body, the tattoo is gone, the scars are gone, and yet she's so pale, her tank top still stained with blood. I want to kiss her lips and every part of her skin, but she has to sleep, so I stay still, watching her.

           I try to find resemblance with Gabriel, but I don't, I guess his vessel doesn't really count. It's strange to know I fell in love with his daughter... I think about what we've been through together, about everything, even Casa Erotica, I hope he doesn't know how I Casa-eroticated his daughter. I smile for myself at the thought...

           First a cold blooded monster, then Sam's murderer, then a cute lost girl, an experiment, a fierce warrior, then the woman I love. And now, an archangel daughter... She is full of surprises, that is the thing she has in common with her father.

           She moves and puts a hand on her stomach, whining a little in her sleep. I take her hand away and stroke where it seems to hurt, she wraps her arms around my neck. But soon she stars panting and sobbing in her sleep.

"Dean" she calls. "Dean please I can't... bring him back... please" she cries.

"Hey, hey... angel, I'm here. I'm right here."

           She opens her eyes and for a second she seems confused, then she turns to nuzzle against me.

"It was a nightmare, I'm here to stay... I want to take a shower" I add. "Will you come with me ?"

           I can't help it. I know I should just give her some time, she obviously went through a lot, but having her naked against me is a new kind of torture, and she's not helping, brushing against me and kissing my chest all the time. My hands lay on her waist and go up on her currently too visible ribs while she's washing her hair.

           Just with that gesture I make her moan under her breath. She puts her head under shower head, her arms above her head and my cock twitches. The foam is sensually running along her skin like it wanted her as much as I do. When the shampoo slides along her pussy down her inner thighs, I groan.

           She opens her eyes and bites her lip, her eyelashes wet, making cute spikes. I bend to kiss her jaw and start nibbling at it. I'm getting hard, I can feel my stomach tremble in anticipation already.

"Dean..." she moans.

"God Y/n..."

Her hand brushes the head of my cock and I jump a little.

"Yes... Yeah baby, touch me please..." I whisper in her ear.

           She wraps her hand around my length and comes closer, flattening her breast on my chest. I close my eyes and let my head fall on her shoulder under the water, breathing droplets of water with each inhale.

"Don't drown" she murmurs with that deep voice she has when she's aroused.

I shake my head and take her hand in mine, adding pressure. Shit, I should stop. But when I'm about to push her hand away she kisses me deep, her tongue obscenely caressing mine, her hips rolling against me. She making me crazy again. I can feel her hunger and it's the hottest thing ever.

"Let me make love to you, angel" I pant, letting go of her hand.

"Yes..." she moans.

"Not here... Shit, this is..." I feel that electricity go through my body, and I know exactly what this feeling means. I'm going to loose control. "Oh fuck Y/n stop touching me. Please... You have to stop now."

She smiles and bites her lips. Then teasingly strokes me again, very slowly. I have to focus hard not to come in her hand, I have to grab her hair but that makes her moan, so it's even worse...

"You remember Dean, that you promised I could taste you ?" she sensually purrs in my ear, rolling her wrist.

"Sh-shit... yeah I remember..." I wince.

"Because right now I really would love to have this" she squeezes my cock just a little more. "On my tongue."

While I take a shaking breath, she licks my earlobe.

"But baby..." I whine pathetically. "I want to make... I want..."

"Can't I have both ?" she purrs again.

"Yes... damn angel. Please, do it" I give in and she falls on her knees.

           The minute I feel her lips on me, I groan low. She takes the base in her hand and starts licking at the head like I was fucking delicious. I put my two hands on the tiles to steady myself and look down at her.

           When she takes me in her mouth I groan, watching her beautiful lips around my cock, her cheeks hollowing, her eyes looking up at me.

"Fuck !" I cry out.

And she takes me even deeper, swallowing around me, her eyes watering as I hit the back of her mouth, feeling the tightness of her throat. The bobs of her head are steady, and my heart is not anymore. I feel it violently beat my chest. I try not to move, I try to fight the urge to thrust forward, and somehow I manage to stay still while she takes me even deeper when I thought it wasn't possible.

"Oh God..." I pant. "Y/n, I... I'm gonna..."

But when I thought she would move away, she takes my ass with both hands and pushes me further inside, making me moan loudly as I come hard, not able to hold back anything anymore.

           I'm a panting mess, shaking and smiling like an idiot when she gets up.

"I missed you" she says, wrapping her arms around me. "Never leave me again."

"Never."

 Reader's Pov

             Dean went to the kitchen to bring food. I wouldn't dare to remind him how horny I was : he wanted me to eat something, so I'm going to eat.

           I take the towel away and look down at my body, I can't believe a little Dean is growing in there... I never thought I would become a mother, I still don't really realize I will. I never imagined living long enough for that, or my body allowing that. I don't even know if I can be a mom, if I want to... I'm pretty sure I can't. I only know torture and fighting, suffering and running away. But this is Dean's. Oh God, Dean has been inside of me all this time.

           He opens the door with a tray and his eyes widen. He closes the door quickly.

"Angel, you're naked !"

"And ?"

"I almost asked my brother to bring the food while I was washing my hands" he smiles.

He puts the tray on his bed and cups my face, kissing me slowly.

"I don't want to rush you, but... would you move in with me, baby ?" he says stroking my back.

"I already kinda live here..."

"Mh... In my bedroom" he kisses me, staring that fire again, the wet one that was waiting between my legs. "I want to be with you baby" he whispers in my ears, making Goosebumps appear on my skin. "Do you want me ?"

"I always want you..." I moan when he cups my ass.

"I mean in your life Y/n... I want to be yours" he kisses my throat one time and searches my eyes.

I nod, not really knowing what to say. I'm his. I'm just his...

He lays me on the bed and starts kissing me everywhere, I try to stop thinking about that secret inside my womb and focus on every parts I love about him. Freckles, lips, hands, that little chubby part on his waist, and those piercing eyes... absolutely everything. He gives it all to me...

           When he takes his pants off, I'm already trembling, clinging to him like my life depends on it, and actually I think it does.

           He takes his time, kissing every inch of my skin, letting me touch every scars, count every freckles. His kisses are slow but passionate, his hands are calloused but soft. I feel that connection between us, I feel that perfect warmth coming from his soul, and those perfect tickles from his nails.

"Dean..."

He kisses my jaw and go down my body.

"Dean..."

"Yeah, keep saying that angel..."

"Dean..." I moan when he wraps his lips around my nipple.

And just then I realize how sensitive my breasts are. I arch my back and grab his hair, tugging at it. His tongue keeps teasing me and I bite my lips to hold back screams.

           Then he lets it go and kiss under it, nibbling at the skin, licking at it. When he reaches my lower stomach and kisses it I freeze, and push him.

"What ?" he asks looking up at me.

"Just... come here, I want you up here with me" I answer.

           He comes back up and looks right in my eyes.

"I love you" he smiles.

"I love you" I say seriously, stroking his hair.

           When he enters me, I stay silent, mouth open wide to adjust to all those feelings, of him being so strong and tall, and stretching me, but also of him being back.

           His thrusts are slow, lazy even, like it wasn't even about chasing the end, but just about being together. He looks at me the whole time, and I wrap my thighs around him to have him deeper.

           Just like that. I want to spend my life just like that. With his arms holding me while his beautiful thighs contracting to thrust softly inside me. With his mouth leaving burning kisses all over me, with his voice so low and lost.

"Y/n, angel... You're perfect... I love you..." he praises the whole time.

           But the pleasure builds too fast, Dean is inside of me, making love to me, so even if I want it to last forever, I start to sweat, and my thighs squeeze him...

           Before I can tell him how much I love this, I come, in a strangled breath, with a happy tear. And he fasten his thrusts for just an instant before he fills me with his cum in a low groan, reminding me of my secret...

 Dean's Pov

             I open my eyes and yawn silently, feeling her asleep in my arms. I have to stop doing that, I didn't know I was such a cuddler. Every morning I wake up all wrapped around her and she's sweaty, telling me my body's too hot... But I can't stop touching her. I just can't.

           I've never been so happy in my entire life, these last two weeks were better than Heaven. Just making love and cuddling, eating a lot and taking long showers. Sam says we have a case, so tomorrow we are back on the road I guess.

           Sammy took care of everything for me while I was spending my time with Y/n, he even contacted the BMOL to ask them if they heard of a Blue Death. They haven't. Every man that knew about Y/n his dead or mysteriously vanished. He tried to contact Gabriel but no one heard from him. Castiel didn't even know he wasn't dead.

           She moves slightly, her back still on me. And when she hums I know she's awake. She takes my hand and puts it lovingly on her heart like she always does.

"Morning angel" I whisper, kissing her neck.

"Morning baby..." she answers sleepily.

I pass my hand on her side, enjoying her naked form, and the curves she got back since I make her eat three times a day.

           When my hand comes front, brushing against her stomach she takes my hand, squeezes it like she was anxious, and get up quickly.

"What ? No morning cuddles ?" I pout.

"I... I'm hungry she says" but I can sense something odd in her voice again.

"Are you okay ?" I ask, suddenly terrified.

What if she was really hiding something from me ? What if she was regretting this ? Me ? It's the third time in three days that she won't let me touch her. Maybe I was stupid to think she could actually love a man like me, flawed, violent, old, damaged...

           She takes one of my flannels and this actually eases the fear a little. She always takes my flannels. Then she turns toward me with a soft but preoccupied smile.

"I have to talk to Sam about that case" she says casually.

"Yeah, but before that..." I stretch my hand to take hers and kiss her knuckles. "I need to take a warm shower with my girl."

"Yeah not today Dean..." she says, her words punching me in the guts. "Take your shower" she kisses my forehead. "I'll make you coffee."

           When she's about to leave the room, I sit on the bed and call her.

"Angel ?"

"Yeah ?"

"I love you" I say desperately.

"I love you" she says absent-mindedly.

           Then she closes the door. No "baby", no "and I love you more", no morning sex or morning cuddles.

           Is she already tired of me ?

           In the shower I try to calm. She says she's in love with me, she wouldn't lie. We don't lie to each other. She still wants me, she proved it yesterday when she bent forward on the ironing board, pushing her panties down, begging me to take her here and now. We broke the dawn board !

           I'm worrying for nothing... Maybe she just looks forward to go out of the bunker. Yet I took her out, often, that time I took her to that restaurant, I know she enjoyed it, even if she told me to never do this again. I smile at myself remembering her words while she was laughing so hard : We're not fancy people, it was great, but it was not us. We were freaking out the whole time baby, have you seen you holding a glass of wine ? You don't have to spend money on me baby. Take me for a ride, or to that food truck that makes incredible donuts-burgers next time. I want Dean, I love Dean, not Christian Grey...

           Then I remember her pushing my hand away yesterday, when I took her in my arms from behind and my smile fades instantly. I remember her smile fading when I told her I wanted to eat her out. I remember that time she turned off the light while I was making love to her...

           When I approach the kitchen I hear her voice, it's sad, and I stop walking, silently listening to what they're saying. I hate myself for spying on her, but :

"I can't tell him Sammy ! I just can't..." she whines, making me worrying more.

"He loves you, you can't keep secrets from him" my brother answers with his serious smart voice.

"I'm afraid..." she whines.

"Y/n, it's been two weeks since he came back" you have to talk to him. "You have to tell him what happened. It's was an accident... And I'm sure he'll"

"I know but every time I try..." she cuts him. "I see this beautiful happiness in his eyes... I can't undo it now, but I'm freaking out !"

"I wouldn't want you to undo this, Y/n, you hear me ? This is the greatest thing happening in ages..." my brother groans.

My heart falls at my feet. She wants to leave me. They're talking about my return, why are they... Or maybe she had an affair with my brother. I... I was away and... Now that I think about it, Sam often avoided being alone with me those last two weeks...

"He will find out, Y/n, what will you do ? Hide from him ? Sleep in another room ? You will break his heart..."

"I know ! I know... don't say that. I just have to find the right time."

           I turn around and go back to the bathroom. I put my hands on the sink, look in the mirror. Why would you love her, you have nothing to offer, she doesn't even think you belong in a nice restaurant for your dates. She hates you.

           I take a deep strangle breath. A single tear falls on the sink, I think I just heard my heart break, that's an awful sound.

__________________________________

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[wlovat]

surprising return : chapter 2, part 2

here’s the second part of chapter 2! it may have some small spelling errors.

_____

“What did you say?" he asked and sneered as he sucked the blood on his fingers and walked to the stands, the sacks of flesh moving as far away from him as possible and clearing the way for him to pass. 

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and tilted his head, waiting for an answer, which to the damn luck of all humans here, Sam gave him "I said you can take him. No one will stop you" she explained and he climbed the steps to the top, taking a white handkerchief from his pocket to wipe some of the blood on his mouth and hands while Mona moved to stand protectively in front of Sam. As if that would stop him if he decided to kill her. Humans, he thought and rolled his eyes.

Ignoring everyone around him, he walked over to Josh and crouched beside him, listening to his heartbeat and the roar of his blood rushing through his veins and out the wound behind his head. He would surely be a delicious meal but unfortunately this one he couldn't eat, Eli was coming back.

Feeling like himself again, Eli didn't give a fuck to the fact that he was covered in blood or that he had just eaten human flesh, flexible morals. He just analyzed Josh's bruises and turned his head to check the concussion, being kinder than anyone who became what he was now should be possible when he bended the steel from the restraints and pulled them out of Josh's arms, tearing off the collar too since this was probably one of the things that annoyed him most in his friend's current view. Josh belonged to Eli as well as the mall, no one was allowed to do that to him just as no one could destroy his mall.

Slipping one arm behind his back and the other behind Josh's knees, he easily lifted and settled him in his arms, because of his height, his forehead resting on the back of Eli's neck and his arms stopping on his chest. Rising, Eli turned his back on Sam and was about to start down when he heard her voice "What are you?" she questioned and he didn't even bother to look at her when he answered.

"I'm Eli fucking Cardashyan, Sammy, but better than ever" he walked down the stairs and sincerely loved to see the effect his gaze had on the same idiots who fucked with him and his things before, shitting their pants in sheer terror. How fucking awesome it was to have power.

As he passed the American Ninja Idol stage and distanced himself from the structure, the ghoulies resumed acting as themselves and writhed over the fence desperately to escape and eat the bodies of the two dead jocks as Eli walked toward his motorcycle and their meeting point where his favorite gay samurai and his dog should be waiting for him. But as he walked, Eli noticed Josh struggle to wake up and fidget in his arms, probably thinking that he was a fucking teddy bear because he soon felt long arms wrapping around his neck as his friend settled into his chest, what could have made Eli smile. But when he smelled the effects of the concussion on Josh's body and brain, Eli moved faster in the moment that his friend passed out again.

Approaching the tree on which his motorcycle was leaning, he saw Wesley and Turbo step out of the shadows and run toward him, Wes immediately hovering over Josh as soon as he stopped. "Why are you soaked with fucking blood, man?" he looked a little scared but certainly more concerned about Josh. 

"It's not mine, loser" that was the only thing he could say, after all, he didn't want Wesley to freak out and it wasn't as if he could just say something like this to him, Hey, I just devoured a few pieces of two people and drank their blood, what was one of the best experiences of my fucking life. Please don't lose your shit and try to kill me.

When he looked at him, he could see that these words wasn't enough for him and Wes wanted to ask more questions, but he seemed too worried to give a fuck about it so he got close to Eli to take his friend "Okay, whatever, we have to go. Let me carry him" but the moment he tried to touch Josh, Eli pulled away and soon saw Wesley's confused and angry look as he did so.

"So besides being an idiot, are you stupid too? He has a concussion, asshole, which means he has to get to the mall as soon as possible before the ghoulies come to devour his pretty little head and the only person who has a fucking motorcycle here is me. And I'm not lending it to you so I'm your best option to take Josh safely" he explained and tightened his arms around Josh, feeling Wesley's anger and how Turbo reacted to it starting to be nervous too but the smarter of the duo knew he was right. And he couldn't do shit about it.

"Fuck! Okay, Eli, but I think it's good for you that he's fucking the same as when he left here in the moment we get there to see him or I swear that I'll…" he threatened and pointed a finger at Eli, who interrupted him before he had to hear the same shit twice. "I know I know. You will finish me, completely. Now can I get on my bike and get your dear friend out of here or not?" he asked sarcastically and passed them without waiting for an answer. 

Sitting on his baby's rump, he manipulated Josh's limbs and sat him in front of him with his back against his chest, while his head hung back on his shoulder. Which could have been a mistake since the scent of blood was stronger but Eli knew he could control himself even being so tempted. 

Unfair. He looks delicious.

Well, we don't always get everything we want. I've eaten two people to you so stop being greedy.

Turning on his motorcycle, Eli drove quickly to the mall, taking some minutes to get there and parking in front of one of the few entrances only he knew, but if Wesley and Turbo came running and managed to avoid the ghoulies, he wouldn't have too much time to realize his plan.

But now it was the time.

Eli walked through the mall's main revolving door and soon saw Angelica and Mr Crumble waiting for him, the dwarf having a murderer look on her face as she approached him already screaming "Where's Josh? Where's Wesley and Turbo and why is there blood on your clothes? This is their blood, right?! You betrayed them, asshole. I knew we couldn't trust you. I knew, you son of a bitch" she tried to hit him and then pick up her flamethrower but Eli grabbed her arm at the same time as Mr Crumble growled.

"Hey, calm down, dwarf. This blood is not theirs and as for Wesley and Turbo, they are coming with Josh and" he stopped and looked at his Patek wristwatch "will probably be here in ten minutes. So, relax girl!" he grinned and patted her head before releasing her arm and backing a little as Mr Crumble put her hands on her shoulder. 

"Do you really think I'm gonna believe in any fucking word you said? I'm not stupid, prick, so I think you better start telling the truth or I'll fucking fry you" she accused and threatened before shooting Eli with her murderous look again, and honestly it wasn't good that he was getting used to it. 

"Well, I'm sorry if you don't believe me but it's the truth! Josh has a concussion and to distract the ghoulies, I came first and diverted them from the path here. And why would I be a fucking bait? Because Wesley doesn't trust me with Josh and Turbo is a supportive boyfriend but not a patient one, so I came here risking my beautiful little neck to tell you to arrange the things to receive your idiot friend, so he won't get worse and you losers will accomplish your part of the deal" the lie came out of his mouth easily, and Eli certainly deserved a fucking Oscar for being able to keep his serious face while Angelica analyzed him with those judgmental eyes.

"You are a megalomaniacal liar, narcissistic and selfish dick that only cares about yourself! So, yes! It's hard to believe in anything that you just said" she cursed him and he rolled his eyes at that, of course he didn't expect her to trust him. 

"I can be everything you said and I'm proud of it, shorty, but if you don't believe my words, then let's wait for them" he shrugged and grinned, walking over to what was once a coffee shop chair and sitting on it before patting the seat next to him. 

"I have all the time in the world since this area is part of my section and to prove to you the shit of being a bait just to help your stupid friends, we'll wait for them here. Or are you afraid of being wrong?" he challenged as he leaned back in his chair, his lips curving upward as he caught a glimpse of Angelica sitting along with Mr Crumble in two seats a few feet away from him. "Okay, you degenerate motherfucker, but if this is a lie I'll turn you to ashes" she threatened one last time before turning to the witch and starting talking to her.

Crossing his arms, now all Eli had to do was wait and expect that the suckers for once would act like fucking normal people act. Soon, he would have Josh only for him and they wouldn't be able to stop him.

They spent a few minutes sitting and waiting, meanwhile the blood on Eli's clothes was becoming sticky and fucking gross. He had realized that the blood of the assholes he ate had a horrible smell, like rotten food, and all he wanted now was to take a shower and get it off his beautiful body. But why was it that when two of the best jocks in school had to run fast, they decided to act like fucking slugs?

Finally, he heard the mall alarm and smiled with it, watching Angelica and the witch run toward their section of the mall, where the alarm sound came from. He put his hands in his pocket, and began whistling as he walked and followed the losers, leaning back against the pillar of a store right on the boundary between his section and theirs, he waited to see what would happen the moment Angelica let Mr Crumble behind and standed in front of the store where they had installed Josh's room a few feet away from him, soon seeing Wesley and Turbo that he could smell besides the corner. 

They approached and Eli could hear everything from where he was, as if he were sitting in the front row of the theater watching the final stretch of a good movie "Where's Josh? Weren't you guys with him?" Angelica screamed more than asked, concerning clear in her voice as her words caused his favorite gay to frown.

"What the hell are you talking about, Angelica? No, Eli brought him here on his motorcycle. Is he not already with you?" he questioned as it was obvious he was trying to stay calm, running his hand over his hair in momentaneous confusion.

And it was at that moment when they looked at each other and turned to face Eli with anger shining in their eyes, that he saw that they had finally realized the trap they had fallen into. But it was too late because all he had to do as they ran toward him, was take the control of his pocket and push the button to finally divide his sections from theirs, waving and smiling as they slammed their bodies against the metal gate already closed.

"Eli! You liar son of a bitch, bastard motherfucker! I knew you were lying. We shouldn't have gave you a chance…"

"Eli! I warned you what would happen if you fooled us. I trusted you…"

They both cursed and banged their fists on the gate at the same time, causing his eyes to roll as he said. "Hey, hey, hey! One at a time, suckers, I can't hear your crying and appreciate it if you whine together" he mocked.

"Ahhh!! I will kill you! I'll toast you, Eli, and no one will miss your asshole face!" Angelica clung to the metal gate grate and Eli moved closer to her, keeping a little distance. 

"Would you risk it now that I have Josh, dwarf?!" he asked sarcastically and watched the effect it had on them. Their expressions became immediately scared and worried as he had fun with it. The good old bluff would always be useful, but today he wasn't in the mood for that.

"Where is he, Eli?" Wesley asked in his quiet voice, obviously calmer but not so much as Eli could see a drop of sweat running down his face.

"Josh is alive" he said with a shrug and turned to face him "Don't worry about him" he winked at him before he started backing away.

"No, c'mon man, you already got what you wanted, okay? You don't need Josh. If you want we'll even leave the malls as long as you give him back to us" Wesley tried to negotiate, his tone almost begging and Eli knew how humiliating it must be for him but there was no shit as going back now.

"You don't get it, do you?" he said and shook his head, Eli looked into Wesley's eyes as he continued "Now, and only now not when you gave me back part of my own mall, I got what I fucking wanted since the beginning" 

Smiling satisfactorily and walking away, Eli turned his back on them, ignoring the curses and calls to his name before saying goodbye "Bye, bye, suckers. I have something to take care of" he waved at them and went his way.

Eli calmly crossed his sections until he reached the safest spot in that mall, where by his abilities to perform, Hollywood lost him if it was still there, all his and Josh's things were there as well as everything he would probably need. He stepped into what should have been a major security office company before, the idiots who worked here would lose their shit if they were still alive and saw that someone like him would have the whole place to himself as well as the mall, he thought as he passed the chairs and tables around him to reach the elevator.

Climbing to the second floor, Eli stepped out of the elevator and passed through the smaller offices until he reached the largest one, which had the size of a store in his mall. The boss of this place should be one of those white, slack, capitalist whores who did what they wanted before, summing it up, like a certain president. Eli opened the large door and passed it, closing it as he walked into his office and watched his surroundings. The windows were open but the curtains prevented the view from outside, on either side of the door had sofas while in front of them were small tables, one with food, blankets, pillows and clothes on top and the other with medical supplies and medicines that didn't need temperature control.

Where once there was a table, now had a large bed in the middle of the room with a massage chair on either side and two mini-fridges in the opposite corners. Inside the left one were some drinks and water bottles while on the right one were needles, medicines that needed refrigeration and blood bags that had no effect on Eli. 

Taking off his clothes, Eli put them near the door and planned to burn them afterwards since the smell of rotten blood had already permeated. He put on a dark green shirt and black jeans, his attention quickly shifting to the person lying in bed when he heard a voice from there. "Eli? Is that you?" Josh had a medical bandage around his head since Eli had already cleaned his wound, his head was propped against two pillows as his clothes were changed to a sweatshirt and sweatpants with a blanket covering his body until above his waist. 

"Hey, sleeping beauty" he said without malice as he approached the right side of the bed, sitting in the massage chair.

"I don't get it. I don't get it, Eli"  he said in a heavy, sleepy voice as he moved his arms wildly and tried to get up, the concussion clearly leaving him unable to do so. 

"Shhh! It's alright, Josh. I'm here, you can sleep" he grinned and put his hand on his friend's chest to keep him from moving and to calm him down. Which seemed to have an effect as he leaned back against the pillows again.

"No, I can't. You won't be here" he said even more tired, trying to keep his eyes open. "I said I was going back. I'm not going away again" he stated and saw that Josh wanted to say something else but his eyes were already closing. The only thing he could do before his breath slowed was to hold Eli's hand as Eli whispered next to his ear, his mind too far away to understand what he said.

"I will always be here, Josh, and you will always be mine"

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Drunk Punch Love: Chapter 7

Emotional Baggage

Udina and Anderson tried to convince Shepard to wear her N7 uniform to the memorial, to be an easily recognizable figurehead. But of all the "figurehead" shit they made her do the past week, this was the one she refused.

This memorial wasn't about her and her suit of armor. It was about those who weren't so lucky at the end of the battle.

This was about Ash.

So, Shepard wore simple black pants and a button up shirt. She didn't want to stand out at all. Not today, not when she was the one who made the call that meant Ash couldn't be here. The main memorial was held in the Presidium- Udina and Anderson wanted people to be inspired by the up and coming reconstruction.

But afterwards, Anderson let her and the crew use his apartment as a more personal funeral for Ashley. She appreciated it, because they couldn't make it back to Earth for the one her parents were putting together. Though, she wasn't sure her parents would want her there. That, or they'd say the words "noble sacrifice" or "hero" too much and Shepard would have to find the nearest bar to burn that out of her brain.

No, they all just needed to remember her as a team. The past few months had changed all of them, and Ash was a huge part of that.

Of all people, Wrex was the first to talk about the Gunnery Chief. "Williams was an asshole when I met her, and maybe she was still an asshole by the time she was gone. But somewhere in between, we took a lot of shots together. It woulda been nice to take a few more with her."

Everyone clapped at the short speech, and even though it was only a handful of people, it was nice. Much like Ash would've preferred, there was an open bar and implied dancing later. Shepard really didn't feel like dancing, but if Ash goaded her, she would've.

But Ash wasn't here, was she?

Yeah, that one hurt like a motherfucker when she swallowed it down, watching Tali pull the rest of her crewmates get pulled into swaying to Ash's favorite songs. The unofficial wingwoman now became the leader, at least for one night.

Anya knew she wasn't being a great participant in the memories, but she had already done a rousing, Councilor edited speech about Ash and the others during the big memorial. Right now, she was spent and all she wanted to do was remember that Ash loved these people and she'd love this party and damn did she wish she was here.

While she didn't mean to leave as early as she did, Anya didn't know if she could keep up the strong hero facade much longer. Saren was gone and it was time to finally experience all the pain and feelings that had been gnawing at her heels. And she had to stop running.

But before she could slip out the door, someone grabbed her arm.

Anya looked up and two bright blue eyes were glaring down at her. "You said I'd get to help."

Staring back at Garrus Vakarian, his voice low and his grip firm, Anya couldn't keep fighting. Nodding, she let him walk out with her. They stopped by Flux to grab a bottle of classic Russian vodka before heading to the empty Normandy to do the whole feelings thing in her room.

She really didn't need the whole crew accidentally seeing her turn into an absolute disaster when they came back. She didn't even really want Garrus to see her like this, but the damned turian insisted. So, might as well prep him for the firing squad.

When they got into her room, Anya stopped dead the second the door closed behind them. She couldn't look at him, but she could already feel the pressure build on her face as she pictured the last time she heard Ash's voice. Whispering, she said, "It should've been me."

"What-"

Anya wrapped her arms around her shoulders, felt the tears run down her cheeks. It only burned worse. She got to cry about this shit, and Ash- "It always should've been me. There were better soldiers on Akuze that deserved to survive more than I did, but my Commander chose me to head back because of my tactical cloaking abilities. I got to run because I could hide. And with Ash, I should've made sure that mission was complete, not left it to a soldier who had so much less baggage to give the world. And the council. Why do I always end up alive when everyone else ends up dead?"

Garrus walked around her, stood in front of her, but she still wouldn't look. He seemed desperate not to push her, so he kept his hands to himself and tried to keep things simple. "Sounds like you're really struggling with that survivor's guilt."

"Of course it's survivor's guilt. Because I keep surviving and people I love keep dying. Hell, I don't even need to love them. It doesn't matter. If I love them, if I push them away, even if I fucking hate them. They're dead. People die in the military, I get it. But I've been on fifty missions where someone didn't come back. Twenty of them, it was more than one. Three of them, I was the only one left alive. I've watched more friends die than friends I have alive, by a painfully wide margin. I don't know if I can keep doing this, but everyone just keeps looking up to me like I'm some hero when really I'm just always the only one left."

This time, he stayed quiet. After a prolonged silence, he stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. They were gentle and warm and more than she deserved. But she pressed her face into his shirt and balled her fists against his chest, holding onto the fabric like it was a lifeline. "Survivor's guilt is hard, but it's starting to feel like I'm the one killing people, Garrus. And I don't know if I can live with that."

"I can't change what hurts, and I can't bring those people back. But I can say that you don't bring people together because you're some angel of death. You bring them together because you're willing to fight the fights everyone else calls a lost cause." Anya finally looked up at him, with all his sharpness and angles and alien features, and only found someone that made her feel safe. The only person that really made her feel safe. Garrus continued, "You got a jaded C-Sec officer who probably would've gotten fired to drop everything and help stop the bad guy that he thought no one would stop. You did something I used to think might be impossible. You're hurt, and you're still a squishy human, but you're also still a hero that people would follow into hell."

Taking a deep breath, Anya added, "Yeah, but sometimes I wish they'd stop following me. And I think she could've been a better hero."

Garrus didn't say anything. Not because he agreed, because the way he tilted his face and eyes when she said that said otherwise. But because she was pretty sure he also knew that she didn't care if he disagreed with her.

Instead, he stepped back and picked up the vodka. "You didn't seem to need this to get out the feelings. Still wanna go for it?"

Anya shook her head, figuring if she could cry without the booze, there was no point risking it. "Nah. I'll save nectar from the motherland for a different occasion." Grabbing the bottle out of his hand, she put it on her shelf. She had no clue when she'd ever take it down, but she didn't really want to know.

"What made this time different?"

Turning back towards him, her eyebrows raised. She didn't know what he meant by that. "Hmm?"

"I mean what made you have to break down."

She didn't mean to laugh, not in such a sarcastic, dark way. But when she let out a snort and stopped, she thought she might as well tell him the truth. "I always break down afterwards. The only difference this time is that you were here, wanting to help put the pieces back together. I always used to do it by myself."

His eyes met hers and she couldn't tell what he was thinking. There was something sad and deep and soulful in the way he was looking at her. And then he started stepping towards her, and she didn't mean for her dumb heart to race or for her face to flush, but they did. Garrus probably just pitied her, just feeling bad about her sad life. But then he stopped mere inches in front of her and asked, "Why did you do it alone for so long?"

"Because until you, I didn't believe anyone when they said they wanted to help me."

If she didn't know better, she'd say things felt very warm in between them, almost electric. And the way he was looking down at her, it felt like he was so close, and she knew she shouldn't even think about leaning closer, but everything about him made her feel like...

Well, it made her feel like she had a home. And she hadn't felt that way in years.

But just as she closed her eyes and accepted the consequences of whatever was happening, her door pinged open and Joker walked himself over to her bed and laid down. Both her and Garrus jolted and just stared at him while he did it, but he seemed too drunk to give a damn.

The confused turian gestured to their pilot and asked, "Do I need to know something about you two?"

Anya was ready to throw Joker out the fucking airlock. "Yes. I mean, no. Nothing like you think." She tried to run a hand through her hair, but her damn bun was in the way. Right. She had put it up to be formal at the memorial. Pulling out the ties and pins, she then got the proper stress relief. Anya explained, "When at the Academy, Joker's condition meant he couldn't stay in the dorms like everyone else just in case he had a bone break. My mother taught when he went there, so he stayed with us. He's like my younger cousin, and he has a bad habit of hijacking my room whenever he gets drunk so that I can help make sure he didn't break himself. Or be there to help if he did."

Garrus tried to stay straight-faced, but even he wound up laughing. "So this has happened before?"

"Unfortunately. Even on this ship. I'm kinda surprised I haven't had to explain it until now."

They both just stared at the passed out Joker until Garrus sighed, seemed to accept the state of things, and sat down on her couch. On the left side, like he did every movie night. Anya tried to be casual sitting next to him, but her heart palpitations were still struggling to calm down. He had this perplexed look on his face. "So your mom was a teacher? I thought she was Navy."

"Not by choice. I was trying to rebel by not joining the Alliance. She was making a point to keep me close to it, even taking in a very enthusiastic flight student, to try to convince me otherwise. When she finally got her way after a few months, she left Joker and I the apartment and went back to being a Captain. She's a soldier, through and through."

"So you weren't kidding when you said she pushed you to be like her. Like my father pushed me."

"Absolutely not. And I've become everything she could ever dream, despite my attempts to just be a good person and not get too much attention."

"Sounds like one hell of a childhood. Is it a Russian thing? You talk about that Earth region you're from a lot and it seems... very intense."

"Not quite, she just happens to be a terrible stereotype of a super intense Russian women. But she's not all vodka and muscles and "for the motherland". She fell in love with an American, after all. John Shepard. Also an Alliance pilot, before he died. I think it's why she took such an unnatural liking to Joker."

"My father did that with my childhood friend, Panek. Always brought him with us on field trips to his office or military bases. Said he reminded him of his brother, a reckless young soldier who got himself killed during the Skyllian Blitz."

"And what happened to Panek?"

"Let's just say he was probably a bit too much like my uncle." Garrus leaned into the couch and, despite the loss that tinged his face, he almost seemed nostalgic talking about it all. Anya liked to hear him talk. "But my family isn't all difficult military men. I have Solana, my sister. I've mentioned her before. She's the responsible one, got into politics and interplanetary relations more than military, but she is also the pestering kind. Speaking of, I'll have to message her after this. Haven't done that this week and if I don't, she;ll give me hell."

When he laughed, it was filled with familial love and admiration and years of memories. Anya almost wished she had more of a traditional family. Before the Citadel, she couldn't remember the last time she heard from her mom. Was it when she got Spectre? Was there any time in between? And she definitely couldn't remember the last time they met face to face. But with all her musings, Garrus was giving her this serious look and said, "I already know Joker and you clearly don't talk like... Well, I see you're a different kind of close. But does him being around help?"

"Yeah. Even though I don't really know how to talk serious with him, I do know he'd do anything for me. Sure he might break his ribs in the process, but that's part of the charm."

"What was it like, having Joker as a roommate?"

"Absolutely insane. Picture how sarcastic he is now, but buried in an exhausting zeal for flying Alliance ships. I would wake up at 4 am, at least once a week, to him training or studying, even when he was piss drunk like tonight. My favorite time was when, totally plastered, Joker woke up my mother to try to give him access to the flying sims because he "needed to be prepared in any scenario". She let him, but then she also started making him do oddball scenarios for "just in case". And trust me, nothing is as terrifying and funny like Joker flying a ship and getting perfect marks while completely naked."

Even though Garrus didn't have a drink, he looked about ready to spit one out. His eyes darted back and forth from the passed out drunkard on her bed to Anya. "He did that?"

"Yeah. Any dare mom threw at him, he did every single one. He and my mom were always just trying to one up each other, but neither of them would ever fucking budge. I don't think I ever laughed so much in my life, seeing them prank and push each other to the edge. But he did convince me to join the Alliance, so what do I know, he's clearly more than just a good laugh."

"What did convince you? I don't think I ever knew you didn't want to be a soldier."

Anya shrugged, knowing this was weird waters of her past. "I don't exactly advertise it, not when I ended up the first human Spectre. Don't think people would love knowing it wasn't my childhood dream. I just wanted something different. I didn't know what, but I think I just didn't want to be my mom. I think seeing someone like Joker still excel in the Alliance made me think that maybe there was a place for me. I mean, hell, guy wanted to pilot while drunk and they still loved him."

Garrus pressed his talon to his temple and chuckled under his breath. He could barely believe it, she could tell, but she didn't blame him. Sometimes she could barely believe her academy days with Joker, either. But then his bright blue eyes flicked up and her whole body was frozen still under his gaze. "It's nice to hear you have history. And not just military history." Then his arm extended towards her and she knew she was holding her breath, which she shouldn't, but he just poked the soft flesh of her wrist. "I told you that you were just a squishy human."

"Oh, and you aren't squishy? You practically begged to help me talk out my feelings."

"You're definitely squishier."

Anya was more than ready to play the verbal sparring game with him; honestly, it was nice. She hadn't done much... fun in awhile. With a smirk and proper snark, Anya countered, "I don't know. When you get uppity about temperatures..."

"That's a biological thing. What about you and that childhood cat you talk about? You get all wistful."

"Crackers was a very special boy, but at least he was a living being. I've definitely caught you sleeping with your sniper rifle, and you got pretty upset when it got a scratch a month ago."

Garrus cut his eyes, and looked ready to start throwing some real shots at her. Anya leaned into her knees and was ready. This fight was on. "You cried last movie night."

Okay, she didn't expect that one, and got aftershock emotion thinking of Saving Private Ryan. But she kept it together and gave a weak ass rebuttal. "No I did not!"

"So that tear I saw was what? Space rain?"

Anya was grasping for straws. "It was a very dramatic, emotional final scene. You probably were so caught up in it that you imagined me crying, because that would be an acceptable response. If I did cry, which I didn't."

"Now you're just lying to me."

"It's pretty squishy of you to be getting so bothered by if I cried during a movie or not."

Garrus glared at her, looking like he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue. Anya was pretty sure she just gave the most annoying, pre-teen answer she ever could. But was it annoying enough to get him to back off before she managed to get even more annoying? Finally, Garrus said, "You're impossible."

Anya didn't mean to smile so wide at him, which only seemed to annoy him more.

After all that, she tried to soothe his ego a little and nudged his shoulder with hers. "Only because every dumb thing I do with you turns me into a shameless goofball. I still can't believe I danced with you."

The genuine smile on his face was not what she expected. "Yeah. That was nicer than I expected."

It was a little too nice. She felt her insides warming up, and her heart pumping a little fast, thinking of how close they were, and even how close they were a few minutes ago, before Joker came in. Maybe they were about to-

Nope, Anya had to diffuse that train of thought and fast. She jeered, "Well, you thought it was a sex ritual, so-"

"Will you ever let that go?" Garrus crossed his arms. Good. Back to best friend banter, as things should be.

"Never."

There was a long pause after that. They sat right next to each other and the air got still again, like there was something charging up. It started to make Anya's skin itch. But then Garrus leaned back into the couch and asked her, like it was simple, "So, how are you feeling?"

She stared into her hands and tried honesty. "Still a little raw. It's going to take awhile for it not to hurt so much. But it's better. You helped make it better."

"I'm happy I could."

That's when she looked up at him, trying to be her white knight of emotional trauma. Sure, she was a fucking mess, but he had scars, too. And she wasn't just going to let him lean back there and bottle anything up, either. She put her hand on his knee and tried to show him how serious she was. "Are you doing okay? Sure, I'm the Commander, but Ash was your teammate, too. And I did make some tough calls."

He almost looked like he was about to crack a joke, but then he sighed and leaned forward, closer to her. Garrus said, "As fine as one can be before a war. I wasn't close to Ash, because she was kinda squeamish about the whole turian thing, but she was getting better at the end. It would've been nice to get to know her. It does make me feel like I need to do more to help the galaxy, now that Saren's gone. I need to be more than just a rogue C-Sec officer." With them both leaning on their knees, he turned his face and they locked eyes. He looked so vulnerable and honest, things she admired so much in him. At least, because that's how he was with her. "Thanks for asking, Shepard."

So the least she could do was keep herself honest for him, too, when it came to the important stuff. Anya smiled at him and said, "If you're willing to carry my emotional baggage, I can be here for yours."

She didn't mean to do this, but again they were close, and again she remembered that maybe he could be something more than a friend. And they weren't leaning in or anything, but looking at his face in her room, just being there for each other? It just meant so much. She didn't want having him by her side to ever end, friendship or not.

But just as she was about to say something dumb and sentimental, Joker sat up and walked over to her bathroom and started puking. The mood, whatever it was, was definitely killed. With a grimace, they both stood up and Anya said, "I should probably take care of that."

"And I'd probably just get in the way. Call it a night?"

"Calling it. But it was a good one." Then they heard another gag and stream of vomit into her toilet. Patting Garrus' shoulder, Anya couldn't say out loud how much she didn't want him to leave. If she didn't know any better, he was looking at her a little lingering, too. But maybe he was just concerned about how'd she do, post funeral and taking care of Joker. So she reassured him, "I can take care of us and I'll be okay. It's practically muscle memory at this point."

He laughed while he walked out of her door. "Alright. Goodnight, Shepard."

"Goodnight, Garrus."

From the bathroom, Joker yelled, "Night, Garrus!"

"Night, Joker." In the doorway, they looked at each other, and Anya almost wanted to say it. Just ask him to come back in, give him a datapad game to play, they could spend more time together once Joker would stop puking. Anything. She just wanted him to stay. But instead, Garrus gave her a flimsy salute and said, "See you tomorrow."

And she let the door shut behind him.

Anya walked back into her bathroom and took Joker's hat off so it wouldn't fall into any of his alcohol overdose. While it was nowhere near poisoning, Joker clearly drank more than he should. She sat down next to him and waited on standby for any emergencies. In a moment of clarity, he turned his face to look at her, all groggy. "You and Garrus a thing?" Before she could set him straight, he started laughing and shook his own head. "What would you guys do with all those ass sticks? That's too many sticks, Anya. Also you bruise easy and he's a walking hawk dinosaur. Nah, that'd be silly."

Right. It would be silly.

Interspecies awkwardness, or something.

That didn't stop her from thinking about how every time she was with him, things felt right.

She grabbed a water bottle from under the sink (preparation for this eventuality) and handed it to him. "Drink up. We don't need our pilot hungover."

"I could do it."

"I know you could. But I still prefer you sober."

"Fair enough."

And so she helped her pilot get his shit together, because it was the least she could do when she was still struggling to figure out hers.

///

Just a heads up, I’m only posting every day to catch up to where I’m currently at in the AO3 version of this story (which went through an intermission and is 6 chapters into ME 2 already) 

Hyped that you guys seem to enjoy! 

Thanks so much for reading, and double thanks to my lovely patrons:

Danyell Jones

Amy Connolly

If you'd like to support the story, please go check out my bio for more info :) (Hint: patreon.com/gracejordan)

Also I tweet funny things sometimes: @Steph_Marceau 

[marbledaesthetics]

MakeupArtist!Reader x 5SOS Headcanons

-meeting during a video shoot

-probably keep all your opinions to yourself because the last minute call made it obvious that you are replacing someone

-the boys immediately love you

-wanting way more of your input than you’d expected

so much glitter

-like this is to be expected but so much glitter

someone probably has to change at some point because they got glitter on themselves and can’t get it off

-(bonus points if it’s you and you end up wearing one of their button ups)

-you all work really well together, so they invite you to come on tour full time

-constantly losing little things because the boys take them to wear when you aren’t doing it for them

-“don’t act like you think I didn’t see that” 

-their looks get bolder as the tour goes on

-convincing Luke to wear eyeliner

-you probably start really light with this the first time or two, then whoops, super bold

-he probably was originally going to take it off before going on stage, but damn he looks fabulous

-the fandom loses their shit

-asking you girl things becomes a thing

-like cute date ideas or if you think one of their gfs would like something they found

parts of the fandom low key think you’re dating one of them

-it becomes a joke every time you’re in public with one of them

painting nails together and it’s just soft

-doing fake nails with Luke once because he’s curious and bored

-he panics about how he’s gonna play later when he can’t get them off

-you end up popping them off just fine and it’s all good

-he’s so soft with them on tho

-just tapping on everything and giggling like a little kid

-“jfc you’re worse than Ash” “yeah, at least when I do it, I have rhythm” “fuck off”

-doing something super bold for fun, and they leave it on

-I’m not sure any of them would be 100% down, but I feel like Michael would be the most against this

-doing something really dramatic and cropping it to just the eye so you can post it to insta

-the fandom recognizes right away ofc and flips their shit

the fandom flips their shit a lot, let’s be real

-I feel like any hate with this would put them off from anything dramatic publicly

especially Luke

-doing something absolutely gorgeous on Calum while he’s napping or not paying attention

-my mind goes straight to really dark pinks and yellows for this

-he’s definitely not pleased, but he doesn’t want to take it off either

-“I don’t want to offend you” “I literally do not care if you take it off” “still, you worked so hard”

-he digs it, but won’t admit it

-doing the white/green Christmas TiKTok trend

-i would like to reiterate that the fandom undoubtedly loses their shit every time something new happens

-even though he would participate the least, Michael will flame any interviewer who gives them shit about anything

-I feel like Luke would want you to teach him some of this stuff

their girls would probably join in on the fun

-totally calling someone out on the fucking exposed hickey’s

-“it had to be the jawline you horny motherfuckers”

-“i didn’t think you’d be able to see them” “have you seen this man wear button ups? how could you possibly consider that” 

-side note that no one probably cares about: i don’t understand why people struggle to cover hickeys, just put a red liquid/cream product over it (like liquid blush or lipstick), set it so it won’t smear, and use a concealer. you might need to do it a few times, but unless the mark is going on black, it should go away just fine

-anyways, back on track

-braiding Ashton’s hair

-he realizes they stay in really well and keep his hair out of his face, so this becomes a regular occurrence

-dramatic pause while I scream

-if you put glitter in Luke’s hair once, you will never be allowed to stop

[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Pokemon, Episodes 4-6

In which Ash learns to leave his pride at the door, the last member of the trio joins the gang, and Team Rocket continues to be the best.

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

We’re officially on our Pokemon journey now, which means it’s time to settle into an episodic adventure holding pattern as we make our way through this vast and wonderful world. There’s sure to be many ideas and pockets to explore in the future, lots of little one-off observations and low-key analysis that cover a broad spectrum of ideas. Much as with my Inuyasha binge-watch, I suspect my analysis will become fairly fragmented as time goes on, picking out individual details in each set of episodes to pore over as opposed to larger connective threads of thought. That’s the nature of episodic storytelling, to some extent; it takes a Gintama level of forethought and planning to consistently weave overarching trends and avenues of thought into seemingly disconnected adventures, and whatever else it is, Pokemon is no Gintama. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t still some commonalities to examine over the course of multiple episodes, and nowhere is that sense of thought more evident than with Ash himself.

Expanding off of my thoughts last time, Ash is a character defined by a push and pull between his stubborn pride and his genuinely good intentions. He wears his heart on his sleeve and wants to be the best Pokemon trainer he can be, but he’s got a lot of blinders as to what being the “best” entails. And when that ignorance is brought to his attention, it’s a struggle for him to leave his ego at the door and accept the lessons that will lead him to be better. But he eventually gets there regardless, because his pride is ultimately secondary for his love of Pokemon and his desire to do right by them. I definitely wasn’t expecting him to get ego-checked quite so hard quite so frequently, but considering it gives him plenty of opportunities to grow past his ignorance and show off what he’s really capable of, I’m not complaining. It’s a legitimately powerful moment in episode 4 when he accepts that he needs to take responsibility for his own mistakes (”If I were a better Pokemon trainer, I’d stop making all these excuses!”). And when he faces down Brock in episode 5, he’s willing to accept defeat and try again later instead of pushing to victory at the expense of the battling Pokemons’ well-being. Of course, he gets his badge anyway, because kid’s shows are really fond of the whole “you won in the way that actually mattered deal”, but honestly, I can’t complain too hard about it, Ash definitely earned a lot of respect by not using the convenient sprinkler system as a shortcut to victory. Any hero who values a fair fight is alright by me.

It’s Time to Brock!

And speaking of Brock, welcome to the team, you squinty-eyed softie! Our adventuring party is officially complete now, and I think I’m definitely gonna enjoy having Brock on board. I recall really enjoying him in Diamond and Pearl, and seeing him here reminded me why: Brock’s just a really likeable dude. He cares deeply for his friends, he does right by the people who need them, he’s refreshingly free of toxic masculinity in how adeptly he acts as den mother for his many siblings, and he’s not averse to being an extra motherfucker as the situations demands (I forgot how much I loved all the themed Pokemon Gym designs from the games). He’s the very definition of chill, and his maturity serves as a welcome contrast to Misty and Ash’s bickering; every good adventuring party needs its voice of reason, after all. Plus, that scene where he offloads all his responsibilities onto his deadbeat dad, pursuing his own dreams at last now that his family has someone else to rely on, was really goddamn satisfying. Bottom line, Brock’s a very welcome presence, and I look forward to what else he’s got in store.

Blasting Off Again

I said it before and I’ll say it again: there is no antagonist quite like Team Rocket. Jessie, James and Meowth are some of the most absurdly lovable rapscallions to ever grace the silver screen. I honestly wasn’t expecting them to show up in pretty much every episode, but I’m not complaining at all, because they are a frigging delight. I love how committed they are to being fabulously over-the-top, even when they’re getting their asses handed to them: (As they’re soaring away from the force of a giant fucking music laser: “I give it two thumbs down!”) I love how comically incompetent they are in the face of far more talented trainers, but they never stop trying their damndest. I love how often they become victims of their own hare-brained schemes, falling into their own traps and descending into petty bickering as they realize just how completely they’ve screwed the pooch (”At least I have ideas!” “Yeah, and they’re all bad!”)   I love how Ash is already sick of their motto (”Don’t you guys ever get tired of saying the same thing over and over?”), and I really love how committed they are to saying that motto every single damn time they show up. Interrupt them? They’ll shush you and pick it right back up, because they are committed to the goddamn bit. The rest of the cast is acquitting themselves decently, but so far, Team Rocket is the real star of the show. Here’s looking forward to many happy blast-offs to come!

Changes From the Games

It’s become pretty clear by this point that I can’t take the lore of the Pokemon games for granted in the anime version. Almost every episode has thrown me for a loop at least once with a detail that contradicts all the strategy and backstory I’ve picked up from the likes of FireRed and Platinum. So I figure it’s probably best I start an ongoing section for all the ways that the anime is not like the game moving forward, just so I can keep track. Cool? Cool. Here are all the moments in these episodes that do not follow the rules of the video games!

-Metapod is able to actually attack opponents, while in the games their power Harden was purely defensive. That said, two Metapods using defensive Harden to challenge each other in a teste of endurance was actually a really clever battle strategy.

-Pikachu’s Electric-type attacks are effective against Onix and Geodude, despite both of them being part Ground-type. Apparently, Ground-type Pokemon aren’t invulnerable to Electric-type attacks here.

-This isn’t so much a change as a point of interest: I assume Misty’s still a gym leader in this continuity, but if so, why’s she out on her own and incognito? That’s gotta be an interesting story, judging by that downcast look at the Cerulean City sign...

-I never did really get what the Metronome attack was supposed to be in the game. Guess it’s just a big fuck-off moon laser. 

Odds and Ends

-”It guarantees that any attacker will get the point right where it hurts!” I was not expecting the Pokedex to be this sassy, not gonna lie.

-Okay, I know the kinds of rival trainers you meet in the games get pretty out there, but I don’t think I remember a freaking samurai.

-”You two are more hard-headed than your Metapods!” Alright, Misty’s growing on me.

-Oh man, Beedrill used to scare the crap out of me back in the day. I don’t think I’d have been able to handle a whole swarm of them.

-”But we made it from paper to reduce the weight!” Of course you fucking did.

-Wow, Butterfree already? Nicely done!

-”Pewter City is grey, the color of stone.” Flint is something else.

-kashdkasj I forgot about the identical Nurse Joys

-”My conscience is holding me back!” pfft

-”We’ve hit rock bottom!” Actually, you’ve got a little farther left to go.

-”The most fantabulous rescue I’ve ever had!” See that just makes me wonder how many rescues you’ve had that you have so many to compare them too

-”And they... do the Macarena!” akjsdkjasd Ash confirmed not a Pokemon whisperer

-”Gary was here, Ash is a loser!” Wow, Gary’s the pettiest bitch on the face of the earth, huh?

And on we go. See you next time!

[lashtoncurls]

Never gonna be alone(AI)

Summary: Ashton angst 🤷🏻‍♀️

Words: 2.3K

Warnings: mention of death and curse words

A/N: I’m back after a month of no writing, not that anyone cares, lol. Anyway, I watched ghost the other day and this came to mind. I would love feedback from y’all as it would encourage me to write more. Thanks to Skyler because she’s an absolute babe and hypes me up everytime I have an idea, love you 😘

He stood in nothing but darkness, his brain demanding that he let out the screams that were being held in his chest. But nothing would come. His voice was lost in the panic of where he stood. He looked around and suddenly the darkness turned into the alley. She stood in front of him, begging to be saved. Her hands holding her stomach as the blood seeped through her dress.

“Ash, please make it stop. It hurts.” She fell to the ground with a tud, a puddle of blood underneath her. He ran towards her but her body disappeared, leaving him in the dark and lonely alley with his heart broken again.

He woke up covered in sweat, his chest heaving as he felt the tears run down his cheeks and into the pillow, her pillow. It was only 3AM when he looked at the clock on the wall, but he knew that sleep was out of the question for the rest of the night. Ashton turned and hugged his pillow as he couldn’t stop the tears that came, sobs and screams leaving his lips in desperate attempts to sooth the pain that was still haunting him.

‘Why didn’t I do more?’

‘I could’ve saved her’

Those were all things that crossed his mind on day to day basis. He would go about life as if he was a robot. Nothing made sense without her.

His house was now a constant reminder of the girl he loved dearly, the one he was going to start a family with. The living room still had her blanket and favorite throw pillow on the couch as she left them. The picture frames still adorned the fireplace and the sticky notes were still on the refrigerator.

Ashton moved from his bed to the couch, pulling her pillow with him. The gloomy day added to his sadness, the TV on low as he sunk down on the couch with her items. The smell of her perfume and shampoo was starting to wear off. I should wash them again, he thought. Maybe that would help him cope better.

“Maybe we should get an uber, doll. It’s kinda late.” Ashton suggested as he held her hand after putting his coat on her shoulders. They were walking back from a night at the bar.

“We can catch one when we’re closer. I need the fresh air.” She smiled at him and he nodded as they continued walking, her drunken giggle spilling out of her pink lips as Ashton smiled back. They talked about their future and what he wanted to do to her when they got home, their night going like every other one. But not before he caught up them.

It happened so fast, her being held by one of them as the other one punched him and took his wallet and his phone.

“You can have whatever you want, just fucking let her go!” Ashton screamed as he watched them take off the jacket she wore and pulled her chin to his lips.

“Get off me you filthy bastard!” She pulled her face away and kicked his groin, her arms struggling to get out of the hold they had her in.

Ashton watched as another man came out of the shadows, a gun in his pocket. There were now four men, too many for him to fight. His stuff was thrown over to the one with the gun, a smirk on his lips when he opened the wallet.

“Ashton Irwin, what a pleasant surprise.” His face was smacked a few times before he noticed who was standing before him.

“I thought you were in jail.”

“So it was you, you motherfucker!” Another punch was thrown in his direction, her screams muffled by a hand as she watched them hit Ashton.

“Let her go, please. This grudge you have is against me, not her. Please” Ashton pleaded, wanting nothing more than for her to be saved.

“It’s not just you. The whole band owes me. Calum and Luke, where are they at?”

“I’m not telling you anything James.”

“If you want your pretty girl to be safe, then I need you to spill.”

“I-it was all me. Luke and Cal had nothing to do with what happened.” Ashton looked down as she watched him confess, taking the blame for what he and his bandmates had done.

“Alright, let her go. We’ll deal with Irwin.” James nodded to the guys to let her go, but not before she ran towards Ashton. The gunshots echoed in the dark as her body fell to the ground, her hand clutching her side as the blood began to gather in her hands.

“No! Baby! Let me go! Let me go!” Frantic screams came from him as his chest hurt, running towards her body on the ground when they had released him.

“You couldn’t have been more stupid?! Run dipshit!” James screamed as he and his goons ran out of the alley, leaving Ashton as he held her close. Her whimpers mixed with his pained screams for help.

“Ash, open the goddamn door!”

“I’ll break in through the back, don’t tempt me.”

“Common mate, we’ve got pizza.”

“Alright, hold the bottle Lu.”

Ashton sighed as he got off the couch and opened the door to his three best friends before they broke in, the tousled hair and tired eyes gave away how much he hadn’t been sleeping.

“What are y’all doing here? Isn’t there some event or something?” He let them walk in, and avoided looking at him in the eyes, knowing that there was nothing they could do to fix the pain.

“It’s uh, it’s Tuesday Ash.” Cal scratched the back of his neck as they walked to the living room, but before they could take a seat, Ashton rushed to grab her items. Luke sighed as he took a seat in the recliner, his eyes drifting once again to the man he referred to as his big brother. Ashton had done so much for him before, even letting him stay with them for a few months after a hard break up. It was very difficult for him to see Ashton this way, not knowing how to help him.

“They still haven’t caught him. God knows where the fucking idiot escaped to.” Ashton mumbled as his eyes drifted back to the TV, chewing on the slice of pizza he was handed. He soon placed it back on the table, his stomach beginning to reject the only meal he’d had in the last couple days.

“They’ll find him soon mate. They have to.” Luke nodded, but kept his eyes straight.

“Ash, it’s been two months. You have to get out of this house. You need to get out, do something. Staying here is only hurting you more. Look at you, I can tell you haven’t been eating, or sleeping for that matter.” Calum spoke as he sat next Ashton, earning a kick on his thighs, but Calum only made more of an effort as he stubbornly moved closer.

“Are you really telling me that the way I’m coping is wrong?” Ashton sat up, hurt in his eyes as the tears threatened to spill again “You’ve got some nerve coming here and trying to act like nothing's wrong! James went after me because of you two fucking retards. And now I’m coping wrong? Get the fuck out! Get out! Being alone is better than being around you three right now.” His eyes rimmed red as Luke looked at him with guilt and sympathy.

“Don’t fucking look at me that way! I don’t need your goddamn pitty Luke. I don’t need you lot.” They nodded as he pushed them out, slamming the door behind them. He padded back to the couch, tears spilling again as he hugged her pillow and covered himself with the blanket, the remains of her scent filling his nostrils as he cried and screamed.

“Someone help! Help! Please!” Ashton cried as he watched her pant, her eyes bloodshot from her own tears.

“I love you, darling. Remember that.” She whispered as she took a troubled breath, sirens coming towards them.

“Stay with me, baby. Please. Focus on breathing okay? You’re going to be okay. We’re going to be okay. It’s gonna be okay.” He mumbled those words to himself as the cops rushed towards them, the EMT quickly placing an oxygen mask on her and putting her in the ambulance.

“I’ll ride with her.” He began to get on the ambulance, a cop stopping him.

“You need to come down to the station.”

“I need to be with her! I’ll tell you whatever it is that you want to know, but let me be with her.” He pleaded with the cop, the pain in his chest only getting worse as the beeping on the machine increased with her labored breaths. The cop nodded as the ambulance took off, speeding through the morning LA traffic to get to the nearest hospital.

“Sir you need to be checked, your nose may be broken.” They began to poke and prod at his face, but he moved their hands away and focused on watching the rest of the team clean the gunshot wounds and help her with her breathing. Ashton held her hand in both of his, rubbing circles and shapes as he would lightly sing to her.

As they arrived at the hospital, they rushed her into surgery, leaving Ashton in the waiting room as he paced and pulled at his hair. He sent a message to the groupchat to let them know what was happening, the other three arriving as soon as they could.

After five hours, Ashton had been cleaned and talked to the cops, the doctor came out and looked at Ashton with pity and hurt in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry. We did everything we could.” At first he shook his head, and ran his hands through his hair. The doctor spoke to Luke, Calum and Michael and explained what had happened. But Ashton was still in shock. He remained in shock for a few days, the day of the funeral being the first time that he had really been a little more alive. He stood by the casket and held her hand. He politely smiled at everyone who gave their condolences, her family wanting to help take care of him.

“I promise I’m okay.” He smiled at her mother, her own tears spilling out as they hugged.

“We don’t blame you sweetheart. I just need you to know that. She loved you so much, enough to give her life for yours as she did.” She kissed his cheek and walked away after, leaving Ashton alone. The burial had gone as expected, her body now in a casket under a pile of dirt. He placed the rose on the top and finally let the tears roll out, pained screams as he held his chest.

“Still having the nightmares?” Her sweet voice filled his ears and he woke up again, but this time a hand was soothing his hair, wiping the sweat away.

“I’m dreaming, I have to be dreaming.” He pulled her into his arms a sigh escaping his lips as she giggled lightly.

“You’re not dreaming, baby.” She placed a kiss on his cheek, his eyes closing as he sighed again.

“So you’re a g-ghost?” She laughed at his confusion but nodded.

“They found James. I couldn’t leave until they found him, I wasn't going to rest in peace knowing that you would worry about it.” They were now cuddled on the couch, her body on top of his as he held her tight, thinking that he was finally going crazy.

“And you came her now because...” He spoke as she rested her elbows on his chest, his hands moving her hair away and touching her face, reminiscing on what her skin felt like.

“Because I’ve been watching you. You need to let the guys back in, Ashton. They are your family. You can’t push them away. Yes, they messed up. I know they did, but please do it for me. Go out, live life. I want the best for you. Justice will be served and he’ll be behind bars for sure now, can’t hurt you or anyone else.” He pulled her chin to his face and kissed her lips, his eye closing as he moaned at the feel of her skin.

“I love you, I will always love you.” He mumbled as he cried, her hands on his face.

“As I love you.” She laid her head on his chest again, Ashton drifting into the most wonderful sleep he’d had in the last two months.

When he woke up, his hand was on his chest and the sun was out. Confused, he looked at his phone and noticed that he had been sleeping for almost two days, texts and missed calls from friends and management. The low volume of the television caught his eye as he grabbed the remote from the table and turned it up.

‘Drug dealer and murder convicted felon James Kells was arrested yesterday from his Orlando home. Police say that a neighbor called them after noticing suspicious activities. He’s being detained with no bond.’

Ashton sighed as his whole body filled with relief, his phone beeping and vibrating like crazy as the guys were texting him. He responded and for the first time in months, smiled as they told him they loved him. It wasn’t going to be easy, the mourning process for him wasn’t over yet, he knew it. But knowing that she would now rest in his peace and he got to hold her one last time was enough for him to be content.

Weeks went by and Ashton had begun moving things, giving some to her family and others away when he noticed all the sticky notes on the fridge door again. He smiled at all of them, the sweet notes she would leave him when she would leave to work before he woke up.

‘You’re never gonna be alone, I’ll always be in your heart my love xx’

He folded it and placed it inside his wallet, smiling widely as he remembered her sweet smile.

Tags: @myloverboyash @irwinkitten @ashtoniwir @asht0ns-world @slimthicccal @24kcalum @cashton-queen @ashtonsunshine @roselukes

[sharky-boshaw-appreciation]

Sharky rescuing Deputy from Joseph's bunker a year after the great collapse. And they go back to Jacob's bunker that was taken over by what's left of the Resistance and Joseph vows to take the Deputy back

*I love this prompt!*

Sharky leaned back against the concrete wall of the bunker. It was Jacob’s. After the resistance managed to push back against the peggies in that region, they took Jacob’s bunker, keeping all of the supplies and gear.

It was a good thing they did.

The nuke dropped and with the snap of fingers, Hope County was nothing but ash.

Sharky had managed to hide himself in a nearby bunker until the brunt of the explosion and fallout. He had enough food and water to last until the resistance managed to find him. They had been on an expedition, looking for supplies. Boy, was he glad they found him. He was out of rations for a couple days and started to think he was going to waste away.

For a bit, though, he thought that maybe it wouldn’t have been such a bad thing. He never found out what happened to his Deputy. He didn’t know whether or not she was alive, if she had been killed by the seeds, or obliterated by the explosion.

She was his light. Her absence left him in darkness. They reassured eachother when things went south. They comforted eachother when baggage became too heavy. She was everything to him and that was all the motivation he needed to go find her.

Could any radiation exposure potentially kill him? Yeah, but what was the point if he couldn’t boogie with her one more time. What was the point if he couldn’t hold her in his arms again, feel her soft hair under his fingers?

There woudn’t be.

“Sharky, we are going by Dutch’s bunker next. Tammy and Wheatly would like to know if you are coming along.” Sharky felt hopeful for a moment. Dutch was the closest one to them and his bunker would have been able to withstand the blast. Could she and her deputy friends have made it to that bunker? If there was a possibility, then by god he was going to investigate it.

“Got nothin’ else to do. Might as well go up to get a nice, fresh breath of radiation.”

Wheatly smiled at the at Sharky’s attempt at humor and left him alone.

Too soon? Probably.

Everyone here changed after the deaths of all of those people. People who were influential to their cause and led them valiently, were wiped out. It left many people helpless and hopeless, including Sharky.

“Well, let’s get a move on, doggy…”

…

They wore the special radiation suits that were stached within Jacob’s bunker, bringing extra in case they found any survivors. It was a harsh journey, the land was ravaged by rubble and rock, the earth splitting in huge gaps or appearing to have crumbled.

Dutch’s bunker didn’t appear to be affected though, the ground appearing to be intact around it.

Sharky stared at those metal doors. It made him sick to his stomach, thinking about not finding her or worse, finding a corpse. Tammy knocked on the metal, the sound echoing over the empty land.

Silence.

Why wasn’t anyone answering? Sharky kept quiet, getting a bad feeling. He looked to Tammy, silently inquiring about her next choice of action. Her idea was to use the repair torch in order to get in.

Tammy looked to Wheatly, gave him a nod and he knew exactly what to do.

The anticipation crawled up the pyromaniac’s throat.

Sharky held his gun tightly In his hand, while Wheatly began to cut the door. “Do you think anyone’s inside?” He asked, more directed toward Tammy. She let out a sigh, “Dutch is supposed to be here. He had goods prepped, I just hope it was enough.”

Sharky got a bad feeling. “Don’t you think Duch’d’ve opened the door if the guy was down there? He coulda heard the racket we’re makin’ a mile away.”

Tammy was in thought for a moment, staring off into space, before answering, “He would’ve. I’m thinking that we may always have to assume the worst and hope that we’re wrong. There’s always a chance of that.”

Wheatly and Sharky pulled open the doors and stared down into Dutch’s bunker and were suprised to be met with Dutch’s corpse being nailed to the wall, his sins carved into his flesh.

“DUTCH!” Tammy screeched and had to be held back by a crying Wheatly. Sharky was the only one who didn’t feel phased by it. Dutch was never rude to him, but made it clear that he never thought Sharky could be taken seriously.

Wait.

Who came down here to kill and hang Dutch up like Christmas lights? Deputy and himself personally saw to John’s, Jacob’s, and Faith’s death. The only one left who would have stood any sort of chance against Dutch would have been Joseph, himself.

And if he made it here…

…then Dep could be here as well.

“Tamms, imma need you guys to stay up here. I’m gonna go check and see if anyone’s down there.”

Tammy looked like she wanted to protest, but kept her mouth shut, giving him the extra suit bag.

“Be careful.”

He made his way down the steps, passing Dutch on the way. He smelled so bad, skin beginning to rot. It was a shame, but there was no time to mourn. Adrenaline pumped through him at the thought of Joseph being down there.

He stepped in to the rooms. They look lived in and marked with the PEG mark. He peaked into Dutch’s radio room. Empty. Office? Empty.

‘Check the bedroom’, he thought to himself.

He readied his gun, took a deep breath, and entered. To his surprise, there was his Dep, cuffed to the bedpost. She looked dirty, bloody, and malnourished.

“DEP! Are you, alright? Dep, come on and wake up for me!” He cupped her hollowed cheeks between his palms, stroking her greasy skin with his thumbs, not giving a damn. “Come on, baby… We’re gonna get you outta here…”

“Lock…” she whispered.

“Got to… pick the lock.”

He got up to find the key only to be met by Joseph’s fist colliding with his face.

“Charlemagne. Didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” Sharky grabbed his shot gun off of the floor, cocking it and aiming it right at him.

“I’m takin my Dep and I won’t say it twice.” Joseph put up his hands, showing he was unarmed. “

She is my child, Charlemagne, and I am her father. You will not take her from me without consequence. You can try and take her now, but you will regret it later.”

“That’s what you’d like to think, Broseph. WHEATY! TAMMY! GET DOWN HERE!”

He could hear the frantic pace of their footsteps as they came down stairs into the bunker.

“Where are you!?” shouted Tammy.

“We’re in the bedroom! Move your ass!” Sharky, held his finger over the trigger, staring straight into Joseph’s eyes. That fucker tortured her and he was going to fucking pay for it.

“What did you- Joseph? The Deputy? You piece of shit!” She about charged him, but Wheatly held her back.

“Get the fuck off of me! I’m gonna kill this sonofabitch!” Tammy struggled to pull free and was only silenced when they heard Dep whine.

“Don’t… Please don’t kill him… just take me and go… don’t hurt him… please, Sharky.”

And how could he deny that? He couldn’t. He wanted to put that fucker in the ground for everything that he’d done.

“NO! THAT FUCKER’S BROTHER KILLED ELI!” Wheatly’s face contorted into almost agony. He wanted to let her go. But he trusted the Deputy’s decision and pulled Tammy back.

“Jacob paid for that with his life. Just leave Joseph here. It isn’t like there’s anything here. Please…”

Sharky stepped forward, pressing the gun against Joseph’s chest.

“Start walkin’ and go to the next room. We’re gonna lock you in a room and take along your weapons, then we’re gonna get my Deputy out of here, and then we will unlock the door. If you start somethin’ I won’t fuck around. I’ll kill your ass whether she wants me to or not.”

He didn’t say a word and did as told, sitting in the old bunkroom. After searching the room for any possibly stashed weapons, they left to search for any goods that may be left.

He let Tammy pick the lock on the cuffs, since Joseph wouldn’t tell them where the key was, and helped you into the radiation suit.

“You are insane. You have lost your mind. You expect us to just let that fucker live?”

The Deputy looked at Tammy with tired eyes. “He suffers more being alive than dead. Trust me. I would know.”

Sharky came back with a duffel full of guns.

“Are you feeling alright, Dep? Baby girl, how’s your legs? You gonna be alright to shuffle?”

She laughed weakly, falling forward into Sharky’s grip. “Sharky… Thank you! You keep telling me that I’m the hero, but you save me countless times. You should probably be the new Deputy.”

Sharky pulled her tightly against him, tangling his fingers Into her hair, gripping her jacket like it was his lifeline. “Nah. That’s too much responsibility for me, Sunshine.”

He gave her back to Tammy so she could be helped out of the bunker and left him to unlock Joseph’s door.

“You are going to regret this.” He heard in a whisper from the other side of the door.

“You come anywhere near her again, you motherfucker, I will shove my flamethrower up your ass and cook you inside out. I’m not bluffin.’ I’m past the point of kidding around.”

Silence. Click.

The door was unlocked and Sharky was gone.

“I promise you that I’m going to get her back. You won’t be able to stop me this time. God is watching. God tells me this is what’s right. God tells me that she belongs here. God won’t let them take her.

God won’t let you take her for long.“

(Sorry it’s so long!)