#moth work one on the left is from 2019!

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED (there are actually many more of them but I’ll get a better picture later)!

today’s campus adventure: make the gayest possible pinback buttons

[ranticore]

Ok so, what is Inver how can I read it gimmie the sales pitch pspsps pretty please

This is Inver! It is an alternate history northwest Europe

It's a play on the old region of Doggerland; the North-East Atlantic Archipelago* with sea levels reduced by a catastrophic past event that spread parts of the fairy world out into the real world. This Event also wiped out all human life in the area pictured above, leaving it uninhabited for hundreds of years before it was slowly settled again by people from the land bridge to Hibernia, and people coming up from Aquitan

As a result of a war between these two groups of people and subsequent cultural exchange, Inver's dominant culture is a Hiberno-French mixture. Br*tain does not and has never existed.

The Event in Inver's history has still left large swathes of this land uninhabitable, with the only way east blocked by the Ruad, a hostile, labyrinthine, and largely impassible fairy territory. This has stifled the ability of these lands to produce much of value; Inver is a poor country, considered a kind of industrial backwater with a monarchy descended marauding werewolf war clans. This paragraph could last literally forever if I liked (and I did like. that's why there's books)

Inver's Régian Era, roughly equivalent to the Victorian era irl, is the stage for my main book series Moth Viper Foal (#mvf) (links are to the books & the tag on my art blog). It is an era of great change in Inver; much of the capital city is ruled by criminal gangs and a foreign church while the great noble houses, having lost touch with their people, turn on one another for sport. The story follows the sequence of events that ultimately results in catastrophic change for everybody in the region, and the dawn of a new era (that's as vague as i can make it)

But really it's about the (gay) struggles of outgrowing your relationships, setting higher standards for yourself, and all the various ways someone can fail to be a man. Main (POV) characters are three ex-conmen & one DLC extra nobleman. Before the start of the story, a catastrophic argument between two of the guys precedes one of them (Félix) getting kidnapped by the Black Horse, a fairy. He is returned five years later, a servant of the horse, to find that his friends (and ex-friends) have changed completely in his absence, and his old life is done for good.

I'm very bad at summaries so idk really. It's a story about interpersonal drama and friend breakups between some guys and also fairies are there. It's all i think about. Every other setting & post on this blog not about Inver was made as a kind of mental break from thinking about Inver. I've been working on it since 2019

you can check the overall tag to see posts from both my blogs including some very nice art and some absolutely heinous AUs (Pern Story among them??? maybe. idk if i tagged it)

also there's two more stories set in Inver, Ancient Inver which is a telling of the wars that founded the country and also an exploration of Being FTM, and also Modern Inver which is set in the distant future of 2017 and it's a buddy cop/detective thriller about a ranger investigating a series of supernatural kidnappings with the help of the guy who did most of them.

[bidaubadeadieu]

Photos of Hugh Hayden's Exhibition Home Work, as seen at the Rose Art Museum (Brandeis University), 2024. Throughout this post, text present in the gallery (written by museum curators, not me) is intended in block quotes.

Through his prodigious studio practice, Hugh Hayden (b. 1983, Dallas, TX) has become one of the leading artists of his generation. His meticulously crafted sculptures, hybrid forms, and poignant installations evoke profound reflections on the human condition within a complex, volatile, and often threatening world. hayden combines a probing analysis of serious and often painful topics with humor, visual puns, and wordplay, provoking a unique blend of visceral and critical responses.

I was captivated by Hayden's work from the moment I stepped into the gallery. Really stunning stuff. Names of all pieces in this post (left to right, top to bottom), as well as excerpts from gallery text, can be found below the Read More. I highly encourage you to check it out in more detail!

American Gothic (2024)

Hayden merges two skeletal figures with agricultural and domestic tools, examining aspects pertaining to labor and the dignity of work. The artist deliberately positions himself as part of a genealogy of American artists, referencing Grant Wood's 1930 painting American Gothic and Gordon Parks's 1942 photograph, American Gothic.

Eden (2022)

Eden presents two ribcages locked together in an intimate embrace. Hanging on a clothes rack, the ribcages are meticulously crafted from cedar wood, a material often used where clothes are stored to repel moths. The fact that the skeletal lovers are closeted suggests that this embrace needs to be kept a secret. The title references the bliss associated with the biblical Garden of Eden.

Hangers (2018)

High Cotton (2015-2020)

High Cotton, emulating and arcade claw machine, is clad in lustrous, Chippendale-inspired Honduran mahogany, carved to the recall the eighteenth- and nineteenth-century furnishings of high society. Sharp-edged cotton balls (replacing the game's expected toys) force a player to "pick cotton," a task directly associated with slavery. The work highlights the raw material used to produce the fine cotton clothing found around the world--and once neatly folded inside the mahogany armoires of slave owners.

Fairy Tale (2023)

Fairy Tale features a pair of interlocking Tiffany rings, with HIV-prevention medication replacing the expected diamonds or gems. The title suggests a "happily-ever-after" gay love story for those who once lived in the shadow of AIDS. The word "fairy" in the title, sometimes used as a slur, is here reclaimed with pride.

The Kiss (2020)

In The Kiss, two football helmets are caught together like stags whose horns are locked in battle. Their interlocking forms and the title of the piece suggest a range of relationships, from homosocial camaraderie to same-sex intimacy. Many of Hayden's sports-related sculptures expose the fact that the very devices supposed to protect may also wound. The Kiss recalls the high number of brain injuries suffered by football players.

Positives (2019-2024)

Hedges (2019)

This installation features a model of an archetypal suburban home. Rather than associating the domestic with security, Hayden transforms the familiar abode into an unsettling place where menacing branches sprout from and overpower the structure's walls, window, and roof. Hedges is experienced within a mirrored chamber that situates the viewer amid an endless row of uncanny houses. Hayden often notes that home ownership is considered one of the key goals of achieving the American dream. Yet this path is hardly assured for many people, given the inequities in society and the financial precarity that so many endure. As shown here and throughout the exhibition, Hayden's visceral sculptures reveal the disquieting contradictions of the American dream.

[cimness]

On the one hand, curses aren't real; but on the other, the yarn is obviously cursed

Once upon a time I made a sweater for my BIL and had so many accidents and fuckups that each stitch of the sweater was knitted at least two times, some of them three. As a result, I referred to this sweater afterwards as the Cursed Sweater.

But I didn't know what I was talking about.

The purple yarn that is the subject of this post is the TRUE cursed yarn/sweater(s).

A brief summary of the mishaps that have occurred with this cursed yarn:

Shortly after I started Sweater 1 (Fickle Heart by Justyna Lorkowska, a very well-written pattern), summer 2019: my MIL died while the house we were buying with her was half renovated, and then a pipe exploded, flooding our basement and destroying our hot water heater, and then the septic tank under the garage overflowed, flooding the garage with sewage. In the confusion, the knitting got lost.

Spring 2020: I found the knitting and finished most of the body before I discovred I'd made a small error near the center of the back lace panel which could not be fixed without unraveling about 50% of the body and reknitting.

Spring 2020: I ordered a zipper for the project and it got lost in the mail. I ordered a replacement zipper, which arrived.

Fall 2020: Put the knitting aside when MIL's estate cleared probate and we had to try to finish renovating and moving to a short deadline. We ended up moving all our stuff from one half of the duplex to the other in about two days and in the process lost my favorite sweater, a bunch of MIL's kitchen stuff, the living room door (don't ask) and the (SECOND) zipper for this project.

Fall 2021: I gave up on ever finding the zipper and ordered a THIRD zipper. I blocked the sweater and discovered a moth had eaten a tiny hole in the center of the back lace panel while it was in a drawer waiting for the zipper and it started unraveling right away, meaning it would have had to be at least 70% redone to fix. I tried it on and it was also too tight, while the holes in the lace were too big and let in a bunch of cold air.

Fall 2021: @waxjism frogged the sweater for me (unraveled it) and I chose a different hoodie pattern without any lace (Zingiber by Susanna Winter, also a great pattern) and started Sweater 2. I knitted about half, then succumbed to Pandemic Anxiety/Depression.

November 2022: I redesigned the hood about five times before finding out that I didn't have enough yarn to finish unless I wanted to use the yarn from the pockets and have a sweater without pockets. Frogged the hood.

I tried it on to place the zipper and discovered the zipper wouldn't work anyway because the fit was too tight over the hips. Ordered toggle buttons instead. Used the yarn from the hood to finish the front edge.

Wore it for a few weeks before giving up. The toggles didn't work right, the fit still wasn't right over the hips, and my neck finishing looked dumb.

April 2023: Bought a third patttern (Lenu by Ankestrick), a saddle-shoulder pullover (less yarn than a hoodie, and I had lost some to moths. Also every time you frog a sweater you lose a bit of the yarn). Started Sweater 3. I only knitted a few inches of it before having doubts and weighing the yarn to estimate how much I had left and discovering there wasn't enough to finish it.

November 2024: Weighed the yarn to estimate yardage again and determined there wasn't enough for a sweater with sleeves, so I picked a sweater vest pattern that I liked (Beneath Waves by Johanna Kunin). I was pretty excited because I'd never knitted bobbles before. I finished the sweater last night and wove in all the loose ends BEFORE holding it up and noticing for the FIRST TIME that the back of the armholes looked funny, almost like a racerback. I examined it and realized I had accidentally left out one whole horizontal repeat of the lace pattern on the back. There are four on the front and three on the back. And I had knitted the ENTIRE VEST without noticing!!

As @waxjism said, it will be safer to get the entire sweater out of the house. (Burning would be ideal but wool doesn't burn easily and it probably wouldn't burn up in our woodstove.) Wool does compost, though, so we might do that.

Although I protested that curses are not real, I eventually agreed that even if the curse is actually my subconscious mind sabotaging me it still has devastating effects, and it would be better not to risk it destroying another sweater.

In fact, I have two balls of it leftover, but I'm not sure I dare use them in a stashbusting project in case they ruin it.

The yarn (Svarta Fåret Ulrika in Lila Melange) was purchased originally for its exact color match to a cheap cotton pullover hoodie from H&M (2008ish?) that I loved passionately and wore to pieces, and I really still have my heart set on it being a hoodie anyway. I'll start over with new yarn.

"RIP to a real one (was it real?)" - @waxjism

[kodas]

I would love to hear more about your headlights/brain-critters

aaaaaa thank u for taking interest!! some have a couple nicknames. from left to right: pup/ruff (it), fawn/flux (it), daze (it), red/"pants" (it), mothdog/(???) (they/it), flow crow (they/it)

my headlights often co-front, so distinctions between the lights are only easy to draw a line for if I'm heavily dysregulated or burnt out. usually I have more than one light on. lights depicted next to each other frequently front together (ie, pup+fawn or snail+red or fawn+daze, etc.)

if I'm doing very well and feeling present (& not experiencing any derealization), most of my lights will be on at the same time. they all make up who I am as "koda" and all identify with being koda, but they each have different circumstances to be "on call" for and different needs/goals on their own. not being lit means that light might have to play 'catch up' to remember details of events they weren't present for. I have memory problems lol

if the appropriate light isn't turning on when it needs to, another light will fill in but they won't have the ability to do the 'job' quite the same, leading to faster burnout. this applies to everything: tasks, games, project production, communication, forms of intimacy, etc. drawing with and without flowcrow produces a different quality of output, for example. this is why I call it flowcrow lol. back when I streamed art as puddle it'd usually be a combination of flow+moth. when I was doing xko gameplay streams, it was often pup+fawn with moth or flow chaperoning.

when other lights are out and only fawn is active, I'm in some state of awe. often this means the freeze or fawn response, even in good situations or around trusted people. I like drawing it full of stars when depicted with wonder or feeling intense adoration. it 'lights up' by turning the lights out and gettin' all starry.

moth is on-call and does most of our masking in public situations or anything outside, and is almost always in a state of hypervigilance. they're most active in social situations/group environments and body maintenance and tires out often. mothdog is the only headlight that eats, the others are repulsed by eating or show disinterest. I've been drawing them more like a black wolf-like dog/chowchow with mothman features because they're pretty stand-offish, so cryptid iconography hits right. there's been a long-standing desire to give it a name outside of 'mothdog' but all suggestions so far are met with a "no not that ❌" so we're not rushin it.

flowcrow is an on-call chaperone to other lights for certain activities, but isn't always available and sometimes fucks off (lol). it often switches on for life admin/planning tasks or stuff like learning languages/math, more exhausting comprehensive stuff.

flowcrow and daze solo-front more than any other light but are admittedly pretty antisocial/introverted. flowcrow can feel a complete disconnect from the body and daze is the opposite, unable to shut-off feeling chronic pain unless in trance. (my partners catch me staring off for a long while usually stuck in a memory or trauma flashback. when they 'wake' me, daze is usually no longer solo fronting). daze straight up does not like to be perceived outside of the body, but sometimes has to when all other lights are out.

pup and red are highly reactive and unmasked, they light up all the time with other lights active, but only feel safe enough to solo-front for long around partners/incredibly close friends.

I draw red as a nightcrawler because it's influenced by my delayed flee response, but I also like using ghost imagery for it too. if anthropomorphized further I make it a bit more doggy-like. there are times when red disappears completely for days (sometimes weeks) and I tend to depict it resting within daze because they are connected

anyhow, I've been working out the details on these critters since... late 2019? early 2020? I drew my first diagram for them in 2020

in 2023 I made some comics with my lights drawn as critters. I started working on my dissociation/dysregulation/cptsd in therapy back in 2016/2017. I have a bit more info about them on my website's about page, but the detail I go into is limited over there. way before that I made 'headspace' (a couple of animated shorts about puddle having more puddles in their head) knowing I had a dissociative disorder & cptsd but not feeling comfortable to really get into the details of each light and the purpose they serve. for that cartoon I narrowed it down to 4 lights. to this day I still group them when I talk about them, like on this blog with my tags. #daze is for both daze+red, #ddog is for fawn+pup.

thank you for asking, anon. I've been wanting to actually type all of this out for posting but often got spooked and backspaced a lot before getting your ask. we really appreciate the nudge🌌

obligatory disclaimer:

I'm not interested in syscourse. I recognize every system forms the way it does for reasons to suit the life the body experiences. if you experience plurality, you might not experience the 'divide' and co-fronting in the same way I do. that being said, I know my lights are sourced from my cptsd and strong cognitive dissonance I held for a lot of my early upbringing and a means of which to cope with the circumstances I was trapped in. it formed when I was very young, with fragmentation occuring throughout adolescence. where I can specifically draw lines and similarities between my lights and certain abstractions/iconographies are specfic to my experience with dissociation & multiplicity and does not apply to all or any other systems.

[bewitchingfanfiction]

Homestuck Fic (2019/07/03)

When he first received the job, he thought nothing of it. 

After all, Karkat had killed many over the years, despite only being 16. He was one of the youngest assassins to ever live, and seemed to have a natural gift for it. There wasn't a person alive Karkat couldn't kill, whether it be an adult, a child, the elderly, boy, girl, he could kill anyone. Why? Because he was good at talking to people.

For some reason, even though he had a bad attitude, Karkat naturally drew people to him, like a moth to a flame. He could gain friends left and right if he wanted, it wasn't a problem. But usually those friends ended up dead, whether it was because they found out he was an assassin, or because he was ordered too.

It didn't bother him, he liked being an assassin. The rush he got from killing was satisfying, and he earned a lot of money too. And it wasn't hard to justify his actions, not when he despised the human race.

There wasn't a person alive who deserved to live, they were all bad in their own ways. Every human had a flaw, and no matter what they did it wouldn't be right.

Take Karkat's parents for example, they were abusive shit heads. They're what drove him to become an assassin, he got to witness their murder.

Because he was the one who did it.

He had killed them for survival one night, but it turns out an assassin had been order to murder them already, when she arrived at the scene, she saw potential in him and took him back to her boss.

That was 8 years ago.

Now he was the best of the best, and he earned that title. He still remembers his favorite job.

(Terezi stepped into the dark room. Karkat had texted her, asking her to meet him there for lunch, which wasn't that unusual. They often ate together, ever since Terezi became his master. She's the one who brought him back to her boss, and taught him everything she knows about killing. Her favorite technique was choking someone to death, it was a slower process, but she enjoyed it.

When she arrived, she saw Karkat sitting at the usual table with sandwiches and tea on the table. "Sorry I'm late, the last job was a pain." She explained as she sat down in front of him.

"No worries." He grunted and took a bit of a sandwich.

Terezi sipped her tea. "How's your work been going?"

"It's alright. The boss just gave me a big job." He explained.

Her eyes widened a little in curiosity. "Oh?" She shook her head a little, she was starting to feel dizzy.

Before she knew it, she had fallen off the chair, and was staring up at Karkat with blurry eyes.

He held a knife in his hand, and his smile as always, was innocent without a flaw.)

That job was truly one to remember. The day he could kill his master with such a simple plan, all he had to do was drug her tea. 

If she was that easy to kill, she didn't deserve to live as an assassin, so he didn't feel bad.

"Alright, what's my next job?" He asked his boss in annoyance. He had only been given a couple big jobs today, all of which he got done in less than an hour.

The man in front of him handed him a paper. It had pictures on it, alone with information about the target.

"Dave Strider? My age huh?" Karkat mumbled to himself. Looks like the kid knew a thing or two about combat, and he liked rapping. He also was obsessed with apple juice, and only lived with an older brother.

Maybe this would be easier than he expected, which was a little disappointing.

~~~

Karkat had slipped into the boy's apartment easily, and was hiding under the kid's bed. The guy was in the kitchen making himself a meal, this would be Karkat's easiest killing yet, he was certain of it.

Strider came into his room, and all of the information Karkat received matched. Light blond hair, almost white, pale white skin, casual clothing, black sunglasses, all of it was right.

But what the file failed to mention was the bruises on this kid's body. Karkat could see some marks on his face that shouldn't be there, and a horrible feeling filled his gut.

Now that he thought about it, Strider's file did mention that he's had multiple hospital visits with all kinds of injuries, but he's never gotten detention in school before, so it's unlikely it was from a fight with someone.

He'd need more information before he could say the cause for sure.

Strider sat down at his computer, a plate with a sandwich on it in hand, along with a cup of apple juice. He appeared to be...drawing?

The next 15 minutes were spent with Karkat trying to determine the best way of killing him.

Should he just use a knife? It was his best weapon.

Poison? Kind of boring.

Take a page from his master's book and try a hanging? Make the whole thing look like a suicide?

So many choices...

But just then, before he could make up his mind, the boy spoke. 

"Listen, person or possible monster hiding under my bed, I know you're there and you haven't made a single move, could you please say something or come out so I can beat the shit out of you with my sword? Cause you kind of broke into my apartment." Strider told him calmly, turning around in his chair to stare at his bed.

Karkat froze on the spot.

Huh.

Well this was new.

Before he could do anything, Strider suddenly tensed and looked towards his door.

"Oh fuck." He hissed, and then he ran towards his bed, and crouched down and oh shit he was staring directly at Karkat holy fuck-

"Dude, move the fuck over!" Strider shoved him to the side and got under his bed.

Karkat went to speak but Strider covered his mouth with his hand. "Shhh."

The door to Strider's room slammed open, and Karkat saw a man stumbling in. Strider's old brother.

There was little information on him, all Karkat had to work with was appearance stuff and just some normal things like what he did for work and shit, nothing helpful in any way shape or form.

The man looked around the room silently, glancing around for any sign of life, and then he mumbled. "Damn, guy cleans up good..." He said in a whisper before leaving the room, he shut the door behind him.

Strider sighed in relief and crawled out. "Thanks man, you wanna come out now?" He asked calmly.

Karkat had a choice to make. He could come out and kill Strider immedientally, like he was told to do, or he could come out and ask what the fuck just happened.

He picked the first option.

Slipping out from under the bed quickly, Karkat had his knife out and went for the kill, only for Strider to grab his wrist and knee him in the gut, making him fall to the floor in pain like a dumb ass.

"Wow. You're friendly." He said sarcastically, taking Karkat's knife away from him.

Well shit. This was quite the situation.

"Let me guess, you're some kind of serial killer?" Strider guessed casually, tossing the knife onto his desk.

"...Assassin actually." Karkat admitted, slowly getting up from the ground. He looked at Strider hesitantly, searching what he could of his face for any signs of fear, only to find that there were none.

Strider hummed in thought a little bit. "Interesting, so it was my bro who hired you huh? Guess that's why he came in, he was seeing if I survived." He commented.

"Wait, your brother is the one who sent the request? To kill you?" Karkat questioned in surprise.

"Yeah no shit. If you couldn't tell by my face, he's not the best guardian in the world." Strider gestured to the bruises on his face before putting his hands in his pockets.

Karkat swallowed hard, a horrible feeling in his stomach. He's never...had to deal with a kid being abused before...the boss specifically knows not to give him those jobs because they cloud his judgement.

So why was he sent to this one? He shouldn't even be here on this job.

"So, you got a name? I'm sure you know mine. I imagine you know quite a bit about me actually, they probably give you whatever info they can if it'll help your task." Strider walked over and sat down at his desk, still facing Karkat. He wasn't being cautious, he just kept his hands in his pockets and watched Karkat casually.

Karkat knew why, he knew Strider was confident, as if he could kill him if he so desired.

Wasn't Karkat suppose to be the killer? How dare this guy look down on his skills, it's insulting.

"...Vantas. Karkat Vantas." He spoke softly after a moment. 

"So, Karkat, what do you plan to do now? Want me to give you your knife and you'll go back to your boss and say you failed?" Strider asked in a almost teasing manner.

He scoffed and crossed his arms. "Failure is not an option for me, I'm the best assassin they've got, I've never failed a mission before and I won't start now."

"Well you're doing great so far. I had no idea being an assassin involved such long conversations with their targets." Strider smirked and picked up Karkat's knife, he threw it at him.

Karkat caught it effortlessly and glared at him. "Don't look down on my skills, I can't believe you just gave me my knife back. You understand I'm gonna kill you right?"

"Yeah fine, you can try to kill me. But I'm gonna order a pizza okay? Want anything specific?" Strider picked up his phone and began dialing a number.

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE GET OFF THE PHONE AND TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!" Karkat shrieked in anger, he rushed forward to slice Strider's throat with his knife, only for Strider to grab his wrist and hold him back with a strong grip, while his other hand held his phone.

He put the phone to his ear. "Yeah hi, I'd like to order a pizza. Just a combo, no mushrooms though. Um...one sec." Strider spoke into his phone before looking at Karkat. "Hey you want a drink?"

Karkat was fuming. "DIE!" He shouted in frustration, trying to kick Strider out of his chair.

Strider jumped out of his chair and watched with disinterest as Karkat kicked his chair over. He stood on his desk, phone still to his ear. "Yeah, we'll take two medium coke's. Nah my friend's just being a brat, he's cool though. Uh huh." Strider listened as the pizza place talked in his ear, and he blocked out all of Karkat's annoying ranting about how he's being unfair by not letting him kill him.

He's been in the killing buisness for 8 goddamn years and this was the most humiliating job of his life.

When Strider got off the phone, he looked at Karkat. "Alright pizza's on its way, wanna watch a movie?"

"Are you this nice to everyone who tries to murder you?" Karkat snapped.

He shrugged. "You seem harmless enough, you couldn't even hide under the bed properly, I feel bad for the people you work for."

"YOU ARE SO DEAD!" He shrieked in anger.

"Come on, I'm bored and I've never had someone over to hang out with, it'll be fun, you'll see." He smiled a little and left his room, making Karkat follow him.

The apartment was messy, there was weird puppets everywhere and swords just scattered about, Karkat's pretty sure he also saw some porn here and there, whether it be in magazine form or DVD form.

This...wasn't okay. He wasn't suppose to even be here, why was he still here? 

Well...he'd never been in this situation before.

Usually he kills his target after a couple minutes and is on his merry way, but this is the first time someone's ever spotted him and had stopped him.

"...You understand I'll have to kill you...right?" Karkat asked hesitantly as they arrived at the living room.

Strider sighed a little. "Yeah I get it man...but fact is, it won't happen. I've got to kill you. The reason my bro hired you was to test me, see if I'm strong enough to kill the best assassin out there. I gotta bring him your head so...if you want to kill me," Karkat  nearly flinched at the long sword suddenly pointed at him, the tip barely touching his neck. 

He stared at Strider's shades, trying to see passed them. "You're gonna have to beat me in a fair fight." He said calmly before dropping the sword. Where did he even get it? Karkat didn't see him pick one up.

"Well then why don't we just do this now Strider? A fight to the death." Karkat snapped, balling his hands into fists. 

"First, just call me Dave okay? And second, I'd rather not. We just ordered pizza and I'd really like to watch a movie. I've never had company before, I thought it'd be fun. Come on, just one movie?" He whined childishly.

...Well it's not like anyone would ever know that he spent time with his target first...

And he really liked romantic comedies.

"I'M CHOOSING THE MOVIE!" He snapped, trying not to smile at the stupid grin on Dave's face.

~~~

One movie turned into five movies, and the pizza was long gone, with only two slices left over in the box, along with some crust. The soda's were still half way full and weren't likely to be finished.

The boys were resting on the couch, Dave had turned completely upside down and had his head hanging off the couch. Karkat stared at the movie intently, tearing up a little.

"You are not seriously crying." Dave snapped.

Karkat slowly turned his head to glare at Dave. "FIRST OF ALL, ALADDIN IS A BEAUTIFUL MOVIE, SECOND, FUCK YOU!" After the first two movies they had swapped over to Disney.

Dave just groaned a little. "Yeah yeah Disney magic whatever, look it's nearly midnight and my bro's gonna come out of his room soon, he's gonna be pissed if he sees you."

Just like that, Karkat felt a sadness building up inside him. "Oh..."

"Yeah. Like, not to be rude, but I'd rather not get an even harsher beating than the one I'm probably gonna get. You can stick around if you want, but you need to hide and pretend like you're gathering information and shit, my bro won't suspect anything if he thinks you haven't made a move." Dave explained casually, getting up and throwing out one of the soda's, that'd be pretty suspicious.

"...Come with me." Karkat said without thinking. Dave froze and stared at him.

"What?"

Karkat swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Become an assassin. You have the skill for it...and you'd be able to get away from your brother."

"And in exchange I kill a bunch of innocent people." Dave pointed out.

Karkat growled. "Nobody is innocent, every human has something that makes them a monster. Your brother could be your first kill! That's how I became an assassin, I killed my parents before they could kill me, and then Pryope, she's my master, took me in."

"And this master of yours, what happened to them?" He asked calmly.

This made him freeze, he glanced down at the ground shamefully. "Well..."

"You killed her, didn't you?" He snapped.

"It was my mission." He said simply.

Dave scoffed. "Man, that's always the excuse isn't it? It's that way in tv shows and movies too. Because it's their assignment, they could through with it no matter how much it hurts inside. Tell me," He lifted his head slightly and Karkat flinched. Dave was looking down on him with judgement, and for the first time since they spoke he's glad Dave wore shades.

"Did you let her bleed to death slowly?" He snapped. His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

Finally, he glared at Dave and spoke. "So what if I did? The point is she's dead now. I know her, she's proud of me. She always killed in harsh ways, I know she's happy." He snapped.

Dave stared at him silently, and then they both heard a door open. 

Silently, Karkat went inside the cabinet under the tv, just as Bro came out. 

He seemed to freeze when he saw Dave, and then looked around the room.

"Sup?" Dave greeted shortly, looking at the tv screen, Aladdin was still playing, he didn't even notice.

"You're watching Aladdin?" Bro questioned, picking up one of the slices of pizza left in the box.

Dave shrugged in response, he appeared to be staring at the tv, but his eyes were on the cabinet Karkat was hiding in.

"...Dave?" Bro said suddenly, making Dave look at him in mild surprise.

He seemed hesitant to speak, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to say what he was thinking. Much to Dave's relief, Bro changed his mind and just stormed off to his room without another word.

When the door slammed closed, Karkat crawled out of the cabinet and sighed in relief.

"I think me being alive threw him off." Dave smirked.

Karkat couldn't help smiling a little. "I'm gonna need to kill you."

"That's nice, can it wait till tomorrow? I'm tired." Dave commented, standing up and stretching.

The assassin raised an eyebrow. "How do you know I won't kill you in your sleep?"

Much to his shock, Dave just smiled at him. "You won't. You're not that kind of guy, assassin or not." Karkat froze down to his very core as Dave headed for his room.

Growling a little, he followed after him. Fine, maybe he wouldn't kill him tonight, he was kind of tired anyways. He can kill him tomorrow.

~~~

They keep watching movies.

Every time Karkat goes to assassinate Dave, he bribes him with a new romantic comedy and Karkat can't help himself.

Once, he tried to kill Dave during the movie, but Dave had blocked his attack and as punishment he turned off the movie before Karkat could see how it ended.

They agreed that no more assassination attempts could be made from either of them during movie time.

Bro gave Dave a time limit. He didn't say what it was for, cause he didn't need to.

He had to kill Karkat by the end of the month. So that was it, they had one month.

Karkat hates that with every movie they watch, he finds himself wanting to wait another day to try killing him. He can't keep putting it off like this, he has to do it before he gets too attached.

"Wanna read this novel I picked up? I thought you liked it since we watched the movie." Karkat ended up reading a novel out loud to Dave for a couple hours, and he enjoyed every second of it.

He thinks they're friends now, and it makes him want to puke.

~~~

Karkat sat on the edge of the roof of the apartment building, staring off into the distance.

This mission...it was...making him think about stuff.

Weird stuff.

Like, what it would be like if he actually failed the mission.

Would it...really be so terrible?

So maybe he fails the mission, that's fine whatever.

And maybe he quits being an assassin so he can be a normal kid again, why not?

And then perhaps he and Dave could run away together to somewhere safe, and forget about any problems they ever had.

...It's unrealistic, and impossible...he knows that.

"Hey." Karkat doesn't bother replying or even turning to look at Dave, he just waits until Dave comes over and sits down next to him.

"Has it really been a week?" Dave asked.

Karkat hummed a little. "Yeah...this is the longest its ever taken me to complete a mission." He admitted.

Dave chuckled. "Glad I could be the exception I guess."

He glanced at Dave, taking a moment to look him over. He was thing, kind of tall, his hair looked very soft...and so did his skin. He had some scars, and Karkat wouldn't lie, they weren't beautiful. They weren't something that made him look incredible, and yes, if Dave didn't have those scars he would probably look better than he already did.

But that wasn't the point right? Karkat liked Dave despite his scars, and thought he was attractive even if his body wasn't flawless. 

That's what it means to like someone for who they are. You accept them for all of their flaws, and not in the 'your flaws are also perfect' way, but in a 'you can be flawed, I'll like you regardless' way, a realistic way.

He'll be honest, Karkat's never felt this way about anyone before. He never even thought it was possible.

Is it possible? Can he really like someone who he's only known for a week? Probably.

He thinks he probably does, but he already knows for certain. He knows when Dave smiles at him with a smile that makes his head spin.

He likes Dave. He knows he does. And that's okay.

"...We'll have to fight," Dave grips the edge of the roof tightly with his hand. "...It's only a matter of time."

And then he says things like that, and Karkat remembers that there's nothing okay about this situation at all.

"I'll kill you." He says simply, hating the way those words lost their bite.

Dave was silent for what felt like an eternity. "...We'll see."

He had to kill him. Nobody in the world deserved to live, that's just the way it is. That's what Karkat truly believes.

But then Dave looks at him with that sad smile that makes his heart melt, and he despises that voice in the back of his head saying that Dave might be the one human alive that actually deserves to live.

~~~

The last few weeks had been fun. Karkat's never enjoyed himself this much before. Truthfully, the idea of hanging out with another human being made him nauseous.

Not Dave though. He's...just different.

He was fun to be around. For once in his life Karkat felt like he was normal, like he was just a regular kid going to school and hanging out with friends, like he wasn't trying to figure out how to kill someone.

It...made him a little sad, thinking about that stuff.

Sometimes he wondered if this was the right thing to do. If he wouldn't be happier just...being normal.

Pyrope must be scowling at him.

It didn't take long for Karkat to reach the park he was suppose to meet Dave at. He always liked the park, it was a place he could go to forget about his parents and just play.

He sat down on the old swing set. He was the only one at the park and thankful for it. It meant he could swing happily like a little kid without a care in the world.

So that's what he did. He swung back and forth until he was staring up at the sky. He felt like he was flying. He was like a bird soaring through the skies, escaping all of his problems and worries and just...flying off to a place where things were a little less scary.

"Having fun?" He glanced down as he swung to see Dave standing near by smiling.

"A little." He admitted, looking back up at the sky.

They left a comfortable silence form, and Dave watched for a few minutes as Karkat seemed to go higher and higher.

"Jump off, I'll catch you." Dave told him.

Karkat scoffed. "You're crazy."

Dave grinned. "Duh. Come on!" He held his arms open and...

Honestly? Karkat felt no reason to doubt him.

He waited until he was at the highest point and then let go of the chains, sending himself flying. His eyes shut tightly as he fell, only to fall into Dave's arms.

It wasn't graceful like in the movies. He knocked Dave down onto the floor and it hurt, they both let out a grunt of pain before laughing at how stupid that stunt just was.

He could've just died, why did he even do that? 

But when Karkat stared down at Dave's grinning face, he realized it was worth it.

Dave smiled up at him, he had a cute grin. It wasn't a typical cool guy smirk like Karkat would expect, it was actually more of a nerdy silly grin, the kind Karkat never thought someone like Dave could make.

He lifted his head and kissed Karkat on the lips, and that did feel like those scenes from those movies he loves.

'...I'm gonna miss you...'

When their kiss broke, they grinned at each other stupidly and pressed their foreheads together.

'I hate you, I'm gonna miss you bad...'

~~~

Karkat followed Dave up to the roof, knife tight in his hand. Dave could use whatever weapons he wanted, he was gonna stick with his one knife.

It's all he needed.

They stood in front of each other, a light breeze going by, blowing their hair softly. Karkat's brown eyes met Dave's bright red ones, so many emotions could be seen, too many to count. It was the first time Karkat had ever seen his eyes.

His eyes...they were creepy...and yet they were also beautiful in their own way.

"...Are you sure you want to do this? I can end your life quickly." Karkat spoke softly, his grip on his knife was loose, too loose.

Dave didn't break eye contact, and Karkat could see his resolve. "You have to do this for your boss, for your reason for living. I have to do this to survive, to please Bro. We both have our own reasons for doing this, so no hard feelings okay?"

"...I love you." Karkat spoke in a whisper, finally breaking eye contact and looking down at the knife in his hand. He doubts Dave even heard him.

If he did, he ignored him, which was probably for the best anyways.

The boys charged at each other, nothing but an intent to kill in their eyes. The sooner this was over, the better.

One swing, they just had one swing. Whoever hit first would win.

'I know Dave...you feel like you have to do what Bro tells you, in order to stay safe...I use to think that way too.' Karkat thought back to all the times his parents would beat him until he did what he was told.

It was hard. Hard to get out of bed every day and know what was waiting for him. It was terrifying and he couldn't take it.

'Maybe you're right, maybe no matter what it's not okay to kill...you hate this...I can tell. I haven't known you for that long, but I just know...' He was coming closer, sword ready to stab Karkat without hesitation. 

He had to strike first, for Pyrope, for his boss, for his beliefs-

His mind went back to when he and Dave kissed at the park.

And his resolve shattered.

Dave's eyes widened when Karkat dropped his knife, and his entire body relaxed. He was too close, he couldn't stop even if he wanted too.

His sword stabbed through Karkat's chest like a knife through butter. The sound was horrifying, the cutting of skin, the blood splatter, the cry that Karkat let out...It made Dave want to die in that moment.

He watched in despair as the assassin fell to his knees, Dave's sword still through his chest. He flopped over onto his side and blood slid out of his mouth and dribbled down his chin, hitting the roof with quiet little splatters.

"K-Karkat?...KARKAT!" Dave yelled his name in horror, quickly getting on his knees and pulling Karkat to his chest. He was looking up at Dave with half lidded eyes.

"I'm sorry...I...I couldn't do it...I didn't want to hurt you..." He admitted softly as more blood slid out the side of his mouth. His sight was blurry, and he was close to blacking out.

It was...better this way.

Tears filled Dave's eyes in that moment, as he held Karkat in his arms. "But why?...You...You said this was your mission! Why would you fail...for me?" He asked sadly.

"...Because...if completing my mission means killing the one I love...then I'll just keep failing...forever. You're the first person...I've ever wanted to protect...so I'll die with that feeling...living without it...is too painful anyways." He spoke softly, coughing a couple times and allowing more blood to slid out.

The light in his eyes was dying.

Dave felt tears slide down his cheeks, his body began to tremble.

"Tell your brother...you defeated me...I'll be watching over you...stay alive." Those were Karkat's last words, his body stilled in Dave's arms.

He hugged the assassin tightly as he cried. "No...NO!"

Dave wasn't sure how long he was there for, it felt like centuries. A new hatred for his brother formed in his chest.

This was his fault.

He made Karkat die.

But that's when it occurred to him, he'd be so screwed if Bro saw him hugging Karkat's corpse. He gently set him down on the ground and stood up.

Karkat's blood was on his body, and it make him tremble.

He's not sure how long he stood there for, but at some point he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn't bother turning around, what difference would it have made?

"Good job little man."

It was sickening how satisfying his praise was.

[mscoyditch]

"Mossgirl with Feathers. 2016".

Mossy Figures Wander Through Woodlands and City Streets in Kim Simonsson’s Flocked Ceramic Sculptures

December 22, 2022

ThisIsColossal.com

Kate Mothes

All images © Kim Simonsson, shared with permission. Photos by Jefunne Gimpel

Some of the most exciting artistic discoveries are the results of accidents or the surprising outcomes of experiments, and artist Kim Simonsson’s series Moss People is the result of one such unexpected twist. Coated with soft flocking—a process of applying very fine fiber to the surface of an object—the large-scale ceramic sculptures were initially layered only with velvety black until a few years ago, when one day, the Finnish sculptor decided to flock one of those pieces with yellow, too. Once the crushed nylon fiber was applied over the black, it turned green, and the verdant figures have since grown into a cornerstone of his practice.

Simonsson draws inspiration from pop culture and Nordic fairytales and folklore, creating expressive, youthful characters who tote rucksacks, wear feathers in their hair, or carry important items like books, radios, or plush toys. For the 2022 Utopia Festival in Lille, France, he created monumental versions from fiberglass that lined a thoroughfare and appeared to wander amongst the passersby, emphasizing tender facial expressions, theatrical scale, and the sense that each individual is on a mission. The artist taps into a playful tension between the spritely energy of youth and the fact that moss naturally grows on hard, unmoving surfaces.

Atmospheric images taken outdoors capture the self-assured figures as they wander through woodland, equipped for an expedition. The most recent characters feature edible greenery and cabbage that grows from their limbs, torsos, and feet, providing both protection and sustenance. By producing and carrying their own food, they are completely autonomous, self-sustaining beings.

Simonsson’s solo exhibition Moss Cabbage People is on view at Galerie NeC in Paris through December 24. Find more of the artist’s work on his website, and follow updates on Instagram.

"Cabbage Mossgirl Resting. 2022".

" Left: Mossgirl with Broken Stereo. 2022. Right: Cabbage Mossboy Reading. 2022".

"Left: Bearded Mossman with Feathers. 2019. Right: Mossboy with Idol. 2022".

"Moss Princess. 2022".

[hrodvitnon]

AbraxasVerse Timeline

@zerm1v0hg That's right. The time has come for a timeline, in Xenogears Perfect Works fashion, from KOTM to the beginning of GVK! ‘Ere we go, ‘ere we go, ‘ERE WE GO!

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YOUR EYES SHALL BE OPENED AND YE SHALL BE AS GODS

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2019 (King of the Monsters):

On the same day Mothra is reborn, Alan Jonah’s paramilitary assault the temple and take off with Dr. Emma Russell, her daughter Madison and the completed ORCA, making for Monarch Outpost 32 in Antarctica. Monster Zero (Titanus Ghidorah) is awakened and bests Godzilla in combat, appearing to kill Dr. Vivienne Graham in the process. In actuality her half-digested body is being regurgitated into the left head, forcibly revived and kept in a comatose state.

Shortly after Titanus Rodan’s return Ghidorah’s left head is decapitated by Godzilla. The Oxygen Destroyer is deployed. Ghidorah is triumphant and instigates the Mass Awakening, asserting its dominance as Alpha Titan. Dr. Ishirō Serizawa sacrifices his life to restore Godzilla’s with a manual nuclear detonation, and the Titans travel towards Boston, Massachusetts. 

The Battle at Boston ends with Godzilla's victory and dominance as Alpha Titan. At Isla de Mara, Alan Jonah purchases the severed Ghidorah head left behind, transports it to an abandoned Monarch outpost in the Ural mountains of Russia. The head begins regenerating Graham’s body and then transforming her over the course of several months.

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APOTHEOSIS

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2020 (Abraxas):

The hybrid Titan Monster X (Titanus Abraxas) is born into their first form and spends over five months in captivity between January and May before breaching containment, emerging with Thor (Titanus þunraz) and brought to the Temple of the Moth in the Yunnan rainforest for healing. Soon after entering their second form, the public is made aware of Monster X’s true nature as a half-Ghidorah, half-human chimeric Titan. 

Alan Jonah’s experiments with Ghidorah’s DNA results in the creation of the Many, which quickly begin to infect and assimilate a large number of biomass from human and Titans, including Skullcrawlers. An altered version of the DNA is sold to pharmaceutical companies including Bio-Major and is utilized in a popular new fertility treatment, earning the company financial success and resulting in the birth of human-Ghidorah hybrids: the Zmeyevich.

Titanus Manda hatches immediately after a Many instance is defeated at Yonaguni. Monster X is captured by another Many instance controlled by an independent Ghidorah head and begins the metamorphosis into their final form. Monarch tracks Monster X to Berezniki in the Perm Krai region of Russia and collaborates with the Russian Ground Forces to commence Operation Dragon Slayer, following multiple Titans converging on the city. The One Night War begins and ends on the one year anniversary of Ghidorah’s awakening. Thor is killed in action, along with many human casualties and the entire population of Berezniki having been assimilated into the Many.

After the One Night War (also called the Glassing of Berezniki), Monster X receives the classification Executioner. Apex Cybernetics approaches Monarch with plans and designs in the guise of aiding the Titans in maintaining Earth's balance. Ren Serizawa is assigned to Apex Cybernetics First R&D Division. Susan Graham dies peacefully in her sleep at age 78, watching the sunrise from the palm of Monster X’s hand.

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THE CHILDREN OF TUGARIN ZMEYEVICH

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Apex covertly acquires orphaned twins born from Bio-Major’s new treatment. Scattered reports of deformed children and major health risks to expecting mothers appear around the world, and Bio-Major faces severe backlash. The treatment is pulled but the damage is done. The Zmeyevich are to be rounded up for containment but very few are captured, including three born from survivors of Moscow. These three are to be reared in an undisclosed Monarch outpost and raised like normal children in the hopes of “nurture over nature” allowing them to overcome any malicious impulses inherited from the “fathers.”

The first was named Ivanna by her mother Lubyov (after Tsar Ivan IV “the Terrible”, intended as an insult). The middle child was named Kazimir by Esfir; he was immediately separated from his mother after she attempted to strangle him in “an act of love, as my husbands have for me.” The third was named Aleksandra by her parents Zima and Nadezhda.

The Zmeyevich twins in Apex custody were never officially named but are privately referred to by Director Walter Simmons as Abaddon (the brother) and Megiddo (the sister). Maia Simmons, for the sake of practicality “and not to raise red flags,” uses the much more innocuous Don and Meg. Their presence is kept under highest secrecy.

It is speculated that the Many were created because of raw exposure to Ghidorah DNA while the Zmeyevich are products of the altered, refined version due to combining the DNA with O negative blood samples (the “universal blood type”), among other techniques; this allowed for convenient artificial interspecies insemination between Ghidorah and humans.

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TITANOMACHY

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2021:

Titanus Scylla causes the Suez Canal blockage.

Godzilla enjoys a long rest period after making a new home for himself in an undisclosed location.

Monster X is called to mitigate or stabilize a storm surrounding Skull Island that threatens the Iwi population, in addition to increasing seismic activity. Kong reacts aggressively to Monster X’s approach and visual similarity to Skullcrawlers, forcing the “invader” to keep their distance. The storm intensifies, darkening over the island, and Titanus Camazotz emerges from the Hollow Earth, having been the source of the recent earthquakes. Kong battles with Camazotz; with the assistance of a Monarch fighter squadron led by Captain Audrey Burns and Monster X forcing an opening in the storm to cast disorienting sunlight on the invading Titan, Kong defeats Camazotz and forces his retreat back into the depths. Thanks to Monster X’s intervention, the storm is weakened and the Iwi are protected, but there are still casualties. Among the survivors is the young Jia, whose parents were lost in the chaos.

Since the Mass Awakening many cults begin forming globally, most in secret to avoid religious persecution, but some in public view are labelled Titanics. Shrines dedicated to the Titans are constructed. Some Buddhist sects consider Godzilla a “kishin” and a statue is commissioned, a stylized depiction of the King trampling upon a vanquished Ghidorah; it becomes a popular site for tourists, Titanics on pilgrimage, and those seeking to stir up controversy.

The first Apex-Monarch collaboration is to secure the Titanus Gojira skeleton (Dagon/Adam) found in the Philippines, officially to prevent government agencies and corporations from abusing the remains for fossil fuel. A dome is constructed around the remains. Afterwards, the true project begins: a man-made mechanical Titan that can fight alongside Godzilla. Construction of the Mechagodzilla prototype (Kiryu MK I) commences, known to the public as Project Talos. First R&D Division, with Ren Serizawa, works on developing a supercomputer (Encephalon) to act as a brain for the mech, and Maia is selected as a potential pilot. What is kept from Ren is the fact that the skeleton is the foundation for Kiryu and will have a mechanical body built around it.

At the same time deep within the Hong Kong headquarters, plans are being made for an “improved” version of Kiryu. There are multiple candidates for a pilot, including Don and Meg, but if the twins are not old enough by the time the mech is completed then Director Simmons has a particular individual in mind: the son of Admiral William Stenz.

================================================

2022:

Manda has grown enough to leave the nest and strikes out as a juvenile Titan, establishing a territory around Yonaguni and the surrounding East China Sea. At the same time, Monster X and Titanus Rodan are reported to have become mates.

Third R&D Division begins gathering Skullcrawlers as both breeding stock and cannon fodder for future tests with Project Talos, and begin genetic engineering on the embryos. Ren Serizawa discovers that Third Division is also developing a clone of Godzilla, using material confiscated over the years (dorsal spine fragments, blood samples, scales, etc) and nicknamed in-house as Ladon. Maia explains it is to provide an heir to Godzilla in case he falls in battle, reasoning that Serizawa’s sacrifice may have saved Godzilla’s life and made him stronger but he is far from invincible. Walter Simmons interprets this consolation as his daughter “losing nerve over what needs to be done” and sharing secrets with a man she’s growing soft on, has her removed from the Project and pilot candidacy revoked.

In retaliation, Maia secretly encounters Apex technician Bernie Hayes, who is starting a new conspiracy theory podcast Titan Truth following the death of his wife, using old-fashioned tricks and dead drops to provide Hayes with just enough hints to set him on an investigation into Apex’s secret activities. Maia ends the communication there and resumes her usual duties, avoiding suspicion and allowing Hayes to act as an independent whistleblower.

Project Talos is faced with the problem of a power source for the mech. A nuclear core is suggested but rejected due to the potential dangers of a Titan seeking out the core as a food source. Ren considers the unique properties of Godzilla’s dorsal spines and there might be an external factor in developing such a trait; and if no such source can be found on the planet’s surface or in the ocean depths, then perhaps it can be found in the Hollow Earth. With Director Simmons’ approval an expedition to the Hollow Earth goes into the planning stages.

Apex Second Division finalizes the new armor and weapons for standard infantry and gets to work on the HEAV (Hollow Earth Aerial Vehicle) with Monarch operatives Nathan and David Lind as advisors. A potential path to the Hollow Earth is discovered in Antarctica and is planned as an eventual launching board for the first expedition.

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2023:

Ren Serizawa is promoted to Chief Engineer. The Apex-Monarch built Kiryu MK I is nearing completion, but the secret mech being built in Hong Kong is taking longer. Ren begins to notice a pattern emerging in the Encephalon’s programming and begins working overtime to understand it, on the surface simply taking his new responsibilities seriously and wanting to ensure things run smoothly. Eventually he recognizes certain lines of code lining up with Samuel 17:45-47, in which David faces off against Goliath. Suspicions regarding Kiryu’s true purpose raised, Ren secretly works to rewrite the code and replaces the verse with the incantation used by Monarch during Operation Dragon Slayer.

Some at Apex suspect Ren and Maia are in a relationship. Despite his attraction, Ren keeps his interactions professional; Maia has reason to suspect he keeps tabs on Apex and enjoys the mental exercise it provides her with, but her feelings on the matter remain ambiguous. She maintains a level of transparency and self-awareness, preferring to use wits and pragmatism with limited resources, as Walter Simmons will at random intervals give her the bare minimum to “test” her abilities as future CEO. One such test comes in the form of Maia being assigned to the Hollow Earth expedition.

During a visit from Monarch co-director Mark Russell and Madison (now his assistant), Madison confronts Maia with her suspicions, believing her to have ulterior motives no different from corrupt corporations like Bio-Major. Maia validates her suspicions and shares her experience with the corporate game: “Everything is rigged. So you learn to play fast and loose when you need to. Run in the dark like a rat where no one sees you and get shit done yourself, because the bigwigs up in their towers won’t do anything and they’ll make it someone else’s problem, until you make it their problem and they’re forced to act.”

The initial venture to the Hollow Earth is a disaster resulting in the deaths of the expedition team, including David Lind. Discouraged, Nathan retires from Monarch, but Madison Russell suggests sending Monster X down the tunnel in order to scout the passage and report back on a cause for the fatal first trip.  Monster X returns to Antarctica for the first time in four years since Dr. Graham’s death and provides what insight can be gleaned from the passage. They opt to remain in the Hollow Earth for an extended period in order to give Monarch as detailed information as possible to prevent another incident. Communications are lost soon after.

================================================

BEFORE THE CLASH OF TITANS

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2024 (Godzilla vs Kong):

After a year of silence, Monster X is heard on the radio waves in Monarch’s Hong Kong outpost. Despite interference caused by multiple factors, they provide a long-awaited first report. The Hollow Earth is capable of sustaining life and boasts a plethora of new (and dangerous) life forms, from Warbats to Hellhawks to Foetodons. Monster X has discovered evidence of a Titanic civilization once created by Titanus Kong and Titanus þunraz, before both species were wiped out by either Ghidorah, Godzilla, or civil war. 

Certain “objects” has been found within what Monster X calls the Citadel: an axe made from a Titanus Gojira dorsal spine, and a source of colossal power that glows just like Godzilla’s spines. Monster X theorizes this must be the core of the planet itself, or at least in close proximity. Monarch asks if Monster X has a name for the substance. After some consideration, it is temporarily dubbed Zohar (זֹהַר in Hebrew) meaning “splendor, radiance” in reference to its luminous properties.

At Apex’s Hong Kong headquarters, Mechagodzilla's construction is complete and enters controlled testing. The initial startup goes smoothly save for extremely limited movement of the mech and a glitch in the command center. Though reports have been redacted, those present will claim to see words and phrases appearing on multiple monitors, including: “I see you” and “your eyes shall be opened”. The claims are dismissed as delusions.

At the same time, Godzilla returns to the surface and calls out to the Titans. Their behavior unexpectedly turns violent, including protector-classified specimens such as Behemoth and Methuselah, and begin striking out at population centers.

Titanus Kong is growing too large to continue living safely on Skull Island. With the island’s passage to the Hollow Earth caved in after the battle with Camazotz, Dr. Ilene Andrews has little choice but to find a new home for him in the Hollow Earth and makes contact with the Apex-Monarch expedition team. The planned expedition has been forced ahead of schedule due to the sudden rampage, though co-director Mark considers his daughter’s hypothesis that the Titans are not attacking indiscriminately but precisely at Apex-controlled locations. With the Encephalon and Kiryu MK I both completed, he has Ren investigate the latest attack in Pensacola, Florida (Ren having visited to oversee final preparations and bid a temporary farewell to Maia). During his search, Ren encounters both Madison and Bernie Hayes.

In addition to surveying the Hollow Earth (and specific targets in the Citadel and Zohar), the expedition team is to warn Monster X of Godzilla’s recent activity; as the only Titan capable of communicating between man and monster they can act as mediator and halt the destruction.

Director Simmons intends to extract samples of the Zohar to power both mechs move his plan forward, but thanks to previous actions causing Maia to doubt her father’s plans (in addition to Ren’s suspicions regarding the Encephalon’s initial coding), Maia begins to make plans of her own and will fully ally herself with Monarch if the mechs prove too much for Walter to control...

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

Merry-Go-Round Colson Baker X Reader

A/N: wrote this fic in 2019 with a different character revised it using Colson of course also changed up original title it was Addicted. Note there is drug use, overdose and death involved so this could be triggering for some. Might want to have tissues handy cause it's sad folks!

Warnings: drug use, overdose, death & smut 

Word Count: 3,248

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐲’𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐲 

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧

𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲, 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲, 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐠𝐨 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 

𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 

𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧 

𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐠𝐨 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝...

Y/N looked on in mute horror. Horror was something she had not felt before in her life. There he was, almost catatonic, a look of aloof disinterest on his otherwise flawless and beautiful face. In his left hand a small bottle was loosely clutched, open, contents scattered upon the ground below. His hair was dishevelled, his upper body unclothed, a trail of saliva dripping from his slightly-parted mouth onto his chest. His unblinking gaze stared at something beyond focus, something only he was seeing.

What what happened? She asked in a cautious whisper. She gently plucked the small bottle out of his hand, realising he had overdosed. Purposely overdosed. What could have happened to drive Colson  to such reckless, illogical behaviour? What drove this normally calm and deliberate person to such an abrupt, impromptu act? What demanded such drastic and permanent release?

It was too late. She knew it was too late. Not knowing what to do for such circumstances normally, Y/N only looked on helplessly, slowly crouching down by his side. She tentatively reached out and touched his bare shoulder.

Cold  both her fingertips and his skin. The two of them were both abnormally cool-blooded, he had penetrating and yet distant blue eyes,  tattooed skin and fine features. And yet he was colder than was normal for the two of them.He gave her no response, didn’t register her presence. 

Taking a firmer grip, she shook him gently, knowing he wouldn’t respond. He lost the balance from his precarious position, haphazardly propped against a fallen chair. His right arm, previously draped across a side of the chair, smacked the ground with a sickeningly final thud. She caught his head against her chest, his head lolling down and to the side as if he wanted to suck on her breast. He was heavier than she remembered. She couldn’t think of why this could be.

She cradled him, rocking back and forth slightly. A tightness grew in her stomach and throat, a cold shiver ran down her spine. Her breath was suddenly shaky and her mouth grew dry. A tear froze as it formed at the corner of her eye, falling and shattering upon impacting against the colder-still floor. “Colson… please please wake up,” she stated desperately.

She closed her mind thinking back to the first time they had met, both of them were junkies it seemed to be one of the few things that kept them together asides from the sex. They may have had a toxic relationship but like a moth to a flame she was drawn to him and she kept coming back for more.

2 years ago...

‘I need it so badly, and I need to see him, be near him.’

I want to find another dealer, but I can't bring myself to look. I just keep coming back.

I love him. I don't know if he knows it, but I do. With all of my heart.

I took my first fix to impress him. I don'tt care that I’m an addict; it gives me an excuse to see him.

And I do see him. Almost every day.

I let myself fall into the delusion that he loved me too, at first. When we met, in a bar, he gave me some crack. I liked it, of course, and he told me where I could see him and get more.

At first he just scared me, but gradually I started to look forward to going to see him to see him, as well as to get my fix.

I was a virgin. One night I gave that to him, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. But when I woke up the next morning, he handed me about three weeks worth and told me I’d earned it all. I slapped him, but he just laughed and said he’d see me soon.

I held off the stuff for about a week, and then I couldn't do it anymore. It was even better than it had been the first time around.

When I ran out I went back to him, same as I always had before, with my money in my backpack.

He smirked, and told me I didn't need to give him any money, looking my body over knowingly. I was so tempted to do it. “Are you brave Y/N?” He asked me not taking his eyes off of mine. I looked at him nervously “why do you ask?” My stomach was tied in knots an excited feeling rushed through my veins.

“You want some of this?" He held up the small baggie to my eyes, which contained a fairly sized black hunk of something. I didn't have to ask him to know what it was.He had the sexiest face when he was offering you drugs, a straight, poker face, with a little smirk that just screamed "Come on, you know you want to,". I chewed at my bottom lip contemplating it for a moment. "Come on, it's the greatest feeling ever. I'll shoot it for you and everything, I guarantee you won't be able to move for the next hour, I swear. It's the best, no lie." Colson urged me. 

I hesitated slightly, my heart thundering against my ribs. Everything in my brain was screaming 'NO! You idiot! Remember health class?' "Awh hell, off to the races!" I said, laughing, and instantly feeling a rush of anxiety. Colson laughed, "Yeah, you want this," and then he pulled out a spoon from his pocket, breaking off a chunk of the black tar heroin and setting it in the spoon to melt it down. He was always so cocky, but it suited his personality.

My stomach was starting to feel funny from all the adrenaline pumping though my body as he patiently turned the black mass into a liquid; I hadn't felt this antsy since the last time we were tweaking out on shards. I couldn't believe I was about to do this; one hit and I could be addicted.

𝙎𝙤 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤 𝙞𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙢𝙚 

𝙉𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙖 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙣 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙩 

𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙩 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙮 𝙬𝙚𝙩 𝙞𝙩

Before I knew it, Colson had taken a hold of my left wrist and was holding my arm out straight, tapping against the main vein in my elbow until it was raised and throbbing.

"You're gonna want to look away for this," he said, as he held up a small syringe he'd filled with the drug. "This is gonna be like nothing you've ever felt before."

I smiled, and said "Hell yes," before I looked up into his eyes. He met my gaze, his blue eyes distracting me from where the needle was going. I felt the pinch, and winced slightly.

“You're ok, you will be ok Y/N," he said, he smiled, still staring into my eyes. "Eyes right here."

𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝, 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬 “𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲?” 

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬 “𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲?!”

I stared back, smiled, and felt the needle being withdrawn from my arm. I exhaled slowly, wondering when it was supposed to take effect--

The rush of euphoria you get from shooting up heroin is unlike anything else. You could be going through horrible withdrawals, but after you see that red cloud of blood erupt in the syringe, you’ll feel like you're on top of the world in seconds. You feel weightless, and warm, and safe. 

“How you feeling Y/N?" Colson asked, getting down to my level to look me in the eye, his smirk setting my nerve endings on fire. ‘fuck why is it that his smirk damn near destroys me?’ I thought to myself. I tried to speak, but my mouth wasn't working with my brain...or, my brain wasn't working with my mouth. Actually, I don't think my brain was working at this point at all, it was all just too slow. Even my tongue felt heavy.

It seemed like a long time passed, I heard Colson opening up the small baggie once again, heard the lighter click to life, closed my eyes and felt my breathing, watching the colors dance past my eyes as I heard him hiss from the needle, heard the THUMP as he hit the floor.

A few moments had passed then I saw Colson get up from the floor, and plop down onto the end of the bed, smiling and looking down at me. I looked back up at him, and in my mind a vague feeling was starting to swim around, to spark to roaring life amidst the haze that I was feeling everywhere else.

“You feelin' good?" He asked, tilting his head and grinning at me in the way he always did after witnessing me getting fucked up in some way or another. A grin that said, 'Now that's what I'm talking about', before always asking the same question; You feeling good?

I tried to wrap my mind around how I was feeling, to grasp at how hot it was starting to feel between my legs, how when I arched my back upward I wanted something to be there, to be in the space between my legs, in the heat and the wet, to fill me up, make me moan.

And without really meaning to, I did moan. I let out a low, hungry growl, closing my eyes and allowing my head to fall backward. 

Colson chuckled, a low, almost animalistic sound. “Y/N...you want to fuck don't you?" I didn't respond, merely laid there, eyes still closed, feeling my head fall to the side, my nose against my right bicep. It was so hot, I could hear myself panting, feel it in my breasts as they rose and fell with my breath.

"Yeeeeeaaaaahh, you wanna fuck," I heard Colson say, his words long and drawn out. "You're so horny right now it's driving you out of your Goddamn mind, isn't it?"

I heard myself moan again, still unable to think my way out of the warm cloud that had settled over my body. All I knew was that I wanted a dick, a hard, long, thick dick, shoved into my pussy, and I wanted it now. I gave a small growl of frustration, arching my back upward again.

Colson takes hold of my wrist all of a sudden, forcing me to still. Then he lowers my arm, meeting my stare in the dimness of lamplight shining from a table. “You look like you have somethin’ you wanna say, Miss Y/N.” I bite the inside of my cheek. “Do I?” “Yeah. Do you?” “I – I.” I was unable to formulate a complete sentence. God he’s beautiful. I’m mesmerized. Enthralled. Captivated. Whatever this emotion of want is.

His blonde hair dusts across his forehead. Glazed in a sheen of sweat.“Oh…” I’m at a loss for words, so awestruck. He begins undressing himself,His hands are on his belt, undoing the buckle. His trousers sag some, slipping down his waist.I close the distance between us, pushing aside his trembling hands to use mine. I undo his belt then unfasten the button of his trousers, letting them fall around his ankles. 

Colson looks at me he holds my face in his big, calloused hands. “You can’t be real.” “No?” “No. You have to just be some illusion I’ve thought of. You’ll disappear soon.” “I don’t think I’m leaving, Colson,” I confess, voice breathless. His touch is like fire, letting me feel that more than I desire.

I flush with heat, taking in the truth that he’s naked now. Naked. In front of me.“You wanna join, darlin’?” “J – Join?” He gently traces his fingertips across my arm I can't help but shiver “yeah you look cold  guess even angels need warmth, huh?” he narrowed his gaze on me, he stretches out an arm to grab my wrist. He pulls me into him, sitting up to hold me in his strong arms. Heat blooms all over my skin as he embraces me from behind, sensations I had thought I lost or maybe never realized I had. 

He makes it seem like I have nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to do but relent, to surrender and release the tension I’ve been holding in. His breath warms my ear, tousling strands of hair. He moves closer, pinning me to the wall. I hold in all the breath I can as his scent overwhelms me, musk and oil and smoke. He has one arm over my head, bracing his position over me. His other hand rests near my abdomen, hovering over his shirt that I have on. His blue gaze doesn’t leave mine. “Can I touch you?” I blink, dark lashes fanning out tears. “I – I’ve never been touched like this.” “Never?” “No.” 'sure we had had sex before but this moment seemed different electrified. This was the first time he even really touched me at least like this… so soft, so sensual. 

“You – You don’t have to.” I managed to stutter out awkwardly. “I can. You look like you want me to. You have for a while. It doesn’t have to be more than this, and I don’t mind doin’ it for you.” His touch is like fire, as before. That tingling that I hunger for. The licks of heat over my skin sets my nerve endings on fire. His rough fingers slither over my slit, forcing me to let out a muffled noise as I shudder. “Want me to stop?” “No. No. More… do more.” 

He pushes closer, leaving no space amid us. His teeth sink into my throat, biting sensitive areas I didn’t know I wanted to be bitten. I arch my back, bending a little as he presses a knee between my thighs.He rubs, for a few minutes. Stroking. Caressing.He nibbles my neck, the muscle that runs down to my shoulder. His shirt falls off of me some, slipping off the shoulder his mouth is on. I rest my palms on his tatooed chest, nails scratching over his skin. He hisses then sucks beneath my ear, licking his tongue back and forth. “Oh, Colson,” I moan my breath becoming more rapid making me almost dizzy. 

He parts me with his fingers, rubbing the warm slick that’s dripping out of me. “God, Y/N. You moan like an angel.” He pushes one thick digit into me, then another. Stretching me, he thrusts in and out at a slow pace. I fall into a haze of bliss, drowned in the blazing sensations that wash over me. I move my hips in time with his hand, finding a tempo with him. A blinding crescendo rises and rises. Hotter. Brighter. ”I’m so close, so close –”  Then the flat of his thumb circles over my clit and I scream, coming undone.

This was an all new heightened sensation, and throughout our relationship it seemed the more we experimented with different drugs the more the sexual connection we had seemed to get more and more intense. Hell we were just as addicted to the sex as much as the drugs. To be honest I think we tried just about everything, Crystal meth, shrooms, coke, mollies you name it then most likely we had tried it. But it seemed like nothing was enough, another fix needed to keep the euphoric rush going. Each time more and more it seemed like he needed, like a junkie he couldn't seem to get enough. But it seemed heroin was always his vice, his ultimate fix of choice. 

Being on heroin is akin to being in a toxic relationship. You start off knowing you're playing with fire, but you tell yourself it’ll be casual and you have more will power than to let yourself fall into addiction. Unfortunately, the pull of heroin is stronger than you, and by the time you realize you’ve lost control, you already lost it a long time ago. This kind of end was not for the likes of him. In one long continuous movement she eased him to the ground, laying him on his back and lovingly straddled him. She had one hand pressed against his cold chest, the other gripping the handle of the blade. Her hand wavered a little as it hovered above his chest. She glanced away, eyes a little misted by tears that were unaccustomed to forming, and thus shy of coming out.

Die by the blade, she whispered barely audibly. He never was much of a fighter she was the warrior of unparalleled potential of the two of them and yet she believed, she knew, that he wouldn't want it any other way either.

With one efficient movement, she plunged the blade neatly into his heart. She opened her eyes with a start, sharply glancing down at him as she felt a tensing beneath her and the slightest of hitched gasps. His eyes, free of the madness, clear of the haze, looked back at her with such a whirlpool of emotions and questions she nearly choked on a gasp of her own. She felt a new horror. A new kind of chill. She couldn't find her voice, and wouldn't have known what to say anyway. She looked back into his eyes, silently pleading.

“Colson Baker?”

Questioning turned to acceptant understanding, forgiveness, and finally to a slightly guilty apology. The corner of his lips twitched into the briefest of smiles, as if trying to reassure her that everything would be fine.

“L-love,you.” 

His eyes glazed over again. This time he wouldn’t be waking up for her again. The crimson trickled over his skin and stained her sleeves and her skirts. Never had she made such a costly error of judgement. 

𝐃𝐚𝐦𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Colson Baker died of an overdose. A plaque in his memory was put up, reading, “There is no substitute” Unfortunately for music fans, as well as the family and friends of the victims, too many singers have died before their time either directly or indirectly because of drug use and abuse. 

Colson Baker

The raspy deep voiced rocker died at the age of 30,  from a heroin overdose.  Born Richard Colson Baker, but known as “Kells” to his friends and family, He is famous for some of the hit singles such as “Bloody Valentine,”My Ex's Bestfriend” “Forget Me Too,”  “Concert For Aliens,” and his personal  favorite, “Jawbreaker.”  In 2020, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him #46 on their list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time.

[the-silentium]

Lost Future Pt. 3

Masterlist

Pairing: soulmate!Five Hargreeves x Reader

Summary: Soulmate AU where the soulmates share their wounds. || Along with your brother, you are transported into the 1960's with a bunch of kids you don't know. Turns out they are trying to stop the 2019 apocalypse and you are playing a key part of it.

Words: 6600 words

Warnings: Violence, swears, angst, fluff, mention of death, mention of illness, blood. 

A/N: I finally finished it! I hope you like this last part of our two little soulmates story! Don’t forget to leave your reactions in the comments!

Every Hargreeves and Beauchamps were gathered around the bunker’s table, reviewing the last details of the plan that would preserve humanity after April 1st, 2019 came around. Everything was perfect, you were at your best, Vanya was ready for her part to come, Five had successfully located a team of operations agents and had abducted one of the duo, teleporting him to the woods to beat the shit out of him and remove its tracker. After his messy handy work, he teleported the Commission assassin to the bunker, where you would take possession of the man and play his role. 

“See ya soon.” You smiled confidently at your friends and brother. If you were unsure of your capacity to bring this mission to success, now you were pumped and ready to kick asses. You approached your target but were intercepted on your way by lips colliding with yours. The shock froze you on the spot, ironic considering that your body temperature was rising at an incredible speed. To your disappointment, you didn’t have the time to recover and reciprocate the affection that said lips parted from yours. 

“Be careful.” You admired how his exterior was a flawless portrait of calm despite how agitated you could see his soul. Five’s soul was a dark charcoal grey traveled by black thin and irregular stripes, no doubt because of his time as an assassin. Its jagged edges added to the menacing picture that was your soulmate's soul, but despite it being one of the darkest you've ever seen, you never feared it. 

During your first training on Five, you were intrigued by the strange soul. In your life, you've never seen one react as Five's did. When you approached, its sharp edges were clearly trying to intimidate you and keep you away at all costs. It all changed when you tenderly touched the dark flame, its form creeping around your fingers, tugging you closer. Everywhere your own soul would touch his, the nearby dark strings regressed until disappearing completely and creating little white spots here and there. You could feel the change into Five's body, the relaxation, the lightness and the feeling of belonging. 

Usually, you would keep the soul to soul contact to a minimum, the intimacy of the thing being too intrusive, but with Five, his need mixed with your desire made your hands wander. You stroked his soul like you would his cheek, enveloped your arms around the defenseless flame who crashed against your form and kissed the remaining dark spots away. Five's mind has never been as peaceful as it was in this moment, the feeling of being home was so warming and appeasing that he followed you like a moth followed a light whenever you tried to separate yourself from him. 

“Will you still love me at the end of all this?” His insecurities were out only for you to see.

“Forever. I promise.” You didn’t know what he thought would scare you away, you just knew that nothing could change your feelings for him. 

It was a good thing that the first sessions were one on one. It allowed you to pass time with him without worrying about the others snooping around and mocking how their brother became tender. 

"Always." You smiled and turned to your target. Andrew positioned himself right behind you, ready to catch your falling body while you concentrated on the agent's soul. 

You pushed the light grey flame to the back of… Zachary's body and took control. With your new training, the usual nausea was now a slight dizziness and you were up and walking in seconds. Zachary's efforts to regain control of his body were totally vain. The Hargreeves had an advantage while fighting your soul: they knew what you were. The agent had no clue, making it infinitely easier to block his attempt to take control. 

The pain radiating from Five's beating was omnipresent. You were sure that some ribs were broken along with other major injuries. Oh and the abdominal pain you felt? Clearly not normal. Every detail of the mission was thought through, meaning that if you returned to Zachary's partner unarmed, there would be suspicions so you had to play the game and act as hurt. The easiest play of your life, really. The pain was pretty real so that wouldn't be a big deal. You weren’t even sure you could walk. 

Five’s face showed his concern when he saw you struggle to sit up. His hand reached out to help you, only to be batted away by your own.

"It’s fine. I can do it." You saw his hands closing into fists at your pained grunts. 

You lost your footing when you got off the table and fell to the ground in a yelp. 

"I’m fine." You tried to get up again but the white pain in your abdomen was too much.

"No you’re not. Stop trying to get up." Your soulmate positioned himself behind you. "Can you still do it?" You knew he was concerned about your well being, but pain had a tendency to make you impatient.

"Yes and the sooner we start the sooner it ends. So let’s go." Your fogged mind almost didn’t register Five’s surprise at your outburst. "Sorry."

"No you’re right." He shook his head before grabbing a bloody pocket knife from his shorts. "Ready?" You answered with a nod, the knife went to your throat and you both teleported away, in the motel room Diego and Andrew found out to be rented by the Commissioners. Zachary's partner… Brendan lifted his gun as soon as he noticed the newcomers. 

"Tell the Handler that my patience is getting thin." A groan fell from your mouth as Five tugged on your hair and exposed your throat. "And make sure to tell her that the next time I see one of her little puppets, she won't see me coming." The tension keeping your head up disappeared in a blue light, causing you to tumble to fall forward in a groan. Brendan was quick to kneel next to you to assess your wounds.

"Shit! He got you freakin' good that asshole." 

"Damn midget was quick." You grunted in response, hands gripping your abdomen.

"The hell did he do to you?" Brendan helped you get on a bed and you recited the story Five gave you. "Dammit! We have to report that to the Handler." Brendan’s nervous back and forth walking was intriguing.

Curious about why reporting to the woman seemed so troublesome, you turned back to Zachary's soul and probed his memory. Five had warned you that the woman was special, but you didn't think it was that bad. The woman was mad, that was a fact. But when it came to your soulmate? Holy shit. She was a psychopath devil wearing Prada. 

"You do it. I have to go to the infirmary." Gripping your ribs, you didn’t even have to force your sentence to sound out of breath. From what you've gathered on Brendan, he wasn't the bravest one, meaning that he would insist for you to come with him to face the wolf that is the Handler. 

"You were the one kidnapped. You tell the story." Bingo. 

Breathing in sharply, you gestured for the blonde to come over. He grabbed the briefcase sitting on his bed to fix the proper date and location before walking over to your bloody form. He assured that your grip on him was secured and pressed the buttons to activate the teleportation. As it was your first briefcase travel, you weren’t prepared for the twist your stomach graciously executed, forcing Zachary’s last meal to hurry up your esophagus and fall on the floor in a brownish puddle. 

Brendan jumped away fairly quickly, scrunching up his nose in disgust. "Could’ve warned me man."

You barely had time to shoot him an annoyed glance that medical staff took you away to treat your injuries and test you in case of a concussion, letting you time to analyze your surroundings between each test and identify potential exits if it ever came to that. From time to time you had to turn to Zachary, who was still clueless of what was happening to him, shown by his incessant attempts to order his body to move, and push him farther. His pleas for someone to help him were loud and clear, disrupting your attempts to concentrate and answer the nurses questions. 

The nurses left you alone in your private room now that every wound on your new male body was disinfected and patched to their liking. You refused every painkiller that was offered to you in fear of losing control over Zachary’s body and also to keep your mind focussed on the task at hand. One of the doctors came back with what you assumed was your file, explaining how lucky you were to be alive blablabla. You weren’t lucky. You just had the best assassin of the whole timeline as soulmate and he happened to know where to strike to cause maximum damage without killing its prey. 

"The nurses will prep you for your surgery. Your spleen has been damaged and is now bleeding into your abdomen."

You raised your hand to interrupt him. "No, I have to talk to the Handler first. It’s urgent." Your heartbeat accelerated as your nervosity increased. The surgery would eat up too much of your precious time and who knew what would happen of you when under anesthesia. 

"Sir. We have to bring you into surgery as soon as-"

"I said no! If you want me to have this surgery, you’ll have to get the Handler here first!" You cut him off. 

"We don’t have ti-" The poor doctor was cut off about, but by a feminine cough this time. His fear clearly showed on his face at the vision of the extravagant lady in the doorframe. 

"Good thing that I’m already here then. I’m sure we can have a little five minutes. Go get yourself a coffee." Her tone seemed sweet despite her hard commanding eyes, their intensity raising the hairs on your arms. 

The argument was clearly over. The doctor hurried out of the room, allowing the blonde woman to take her time to talk to you. As you took in her sweet exterior, her radiant smile and her interesting clothes, you were thankful for your ability to see everyone's true self, because if you had crossed her path without being able to see her jet black soul, you feared that you would have trusted her without a second thought. 

"I see Number Five hasn't lost his touch." She gestured vaguely at your numerous injuries with her perfectly manicured hand, which you couldn't help but notice, the vibrant red looking like blood on the top of her fingers. "But I guess he did lose some efficiency in his adorable little shorts, you are still breathing after all."

"He charged me to deliver a message to you ma'am." A gurgling sound punctuated your words, causing you to cough as soon as you finished your sentence. 

"You will have to do it quickly darling, we don't want you to run out of time before you tell me." She moved closer to hear your words better. Her lack of empathy hit you right in the gut, you, no, Zachary was dying and she couldn't find it in herself to at least fake some kindness. 

"Karma is a bitch." You chuckled at her confusion before quickly leaving Zachary's body behind and entering hers. The slight vertigo that you were now used to wasn’t as bad as when you trained with the Hargreeves. Despite what you thought, she hasn’t seen you coming and offered no resistance. You let yourself the time to adjust while she still hasn’t detected you yet, her confusion overwhelming your mind and senses. Soon though, she started to feel wrong and tried to walk away from the weak form of the injured agent. Panic flooded through her mind when she realized that her body wouldn’t do as asked. What is happening? 

"Oh. You just got hijacked.” You snickered. Make sure that the Handler was in the building, check! You walked out of the room just as the doctor came back to take the dying man to surgery. Not knowing that this agency was full of murderers, you would have felt bad for what was coming, but you knew. 

You ventured into endless corridors, your destination in mind. You had to make it there without having to search her mind for the directions if possible. You tried to block out her murderous thoughts, her rage sounding like thunder under your skull gave you a really bad headache. Fortunately for you, you had had your fair share of headaches in your life meaning that you had a good tolerance for them. 

Unfortunately for you was that you couldn’t make your way out of these damns corridors and find the briefcase room. Five had formally forbidden you to peek into her mind, saying that her mind was too dangerous to adventure yourself into. You hated to admit that he was right. 

Five's soul was definitely nothing compared to the one right in front of you. The craziness that was boiling into its depth was licking at yours in an attempt to corrupt you or scare you away, you weren't sure which. 

“Ma’am? Are you alright?” You almost didn’t register the concerned voice into all the chaos of your head. A sweet-looking woman was 

“Y-Yes.” You pinched your nose at the waver in your voice. “I’m just feeling out of it today.” Andrew would have been proud of your acting talent, he always told you that you were terrible. “Could you please show me the way to the briefcase room?” 

Her brown eyes widened as if you had insulted her whole family, stressing you out. What did you say wrong? I never say please, you little shit. You mentally facepalmed at that.

“Em. Sure, ma’am. This way.” 

You had to bite the inside of your cheek to stay silent when the Handler didn’t stop screaming in your head. You focussed on placing one foot in front of the other without face-planting in your high-heels while massaging your temple with your fingers. The headache was slowly morphing into a migraine, it wasn’t good. 

As soon as you saw the desired room, you made your way in it, caught the first one, and quickly inserted the right time coordinates. 

The numbness creeping slowly into your mind scared you to no end. Tiny strings of her soul tried to reach yours, sometimes succeeding and making your heart rate skyrocket. Every barrier you tried to put between you, she would destroy them or find a way to pass through the cracks. At first, she tried to take control again but when she realized that it wouldn’t work, she then passed to stab your mind with her own. Images of dead bodies would then flash before your eyes at her fortunate stabs, some bloodier than others, some had severed limbs, others were disfigured. It disgusted you how these people were butchered like they were animals. Then why are you helping their killer? You froze in place, the severity of her words hitting you like a train. 

It… couldn’t be. You knew he was a killer, Five never lied about doing atrocities in the past, but hearing it and seeing it were two different things. 

“You forced him to do it…” As much as you wanted to believe your own words, you knew that it couldn’t erase the fact that he did it nonetheless. 

“Y/N! Are you alright?” Your body was suddenly shaked back and forth, making you blink a couple of times to regain your senses. You were back at the bunker, in Andrew's arms, the Hargreeves concerned gazes fixed on you. As much as it hurt to do so, you couldn't find it in yourself to meet Five's gaze, the memories of lifeless corpses lingering at the back of your mind. 

"I'm okay." Your voice was small, tired, just like how you felt. 

"You don't look okay." You shrugged it off, entering your previous location's coordinates as the next destination in the briefcase and made your way toward Vanya, holding your hand out to her. You fled your problems as soon as you could. 

Helping Vanya to stay on her wobbly feet was more difficult than you thought with the deadly high-heels you were wearing. You ditched them after having once again entered the bunker as your terminus. 

A metallic sound caught your attention, the handcuffs in Vanya's hand shone under the neon light of the empty office. With a single nod, Vanya caught your wrist in one of the loops and closed the other around one of the many metal bars blocking the window. Everything was in place. Now, the last thing for you to do was get into Vanya's body and stay on the backseat while she used her ability to destroy the complex. 

You visualized the bright white soul that was Vanya's and made a move to get out of the Handler's body when a sharp stab into your essence pulled you back into it. I wonder how Five will take that his soulmate doesn't make it back. 

Cold sweat covers your body instantly, panic surging through your every nerves. Her soul found an opening into your fragilized wall and took advantage of it. Black threads emerging from her soul had wrapped themselves around yours, keeping you prisoner of her physical form. You let your guard down and it would now cost you your life. 

"Y/N, everything alright?" 

You slowly shook your head, tears forming into your eyes. You choked on your air, the Handler fighting you for control. The hours spent into Zachary's body, the pain you had to endure, all the time travelling, the body jumping added to the images of your soulmate's victims rendered you tired, allowing the mad woman to push you back to second. 

"Five should have known better than to send a little" Her soul gripped yours as tightly as it could, her wrath flowing around in a psychotic manner making you almost pass out. "weakling to control me." 

"Leave her alone." You haven't heard Vanya's voice much during the time you passed with her family under the yellow house. She was always shy, keeping her thoughts to herself. It surprised you that she managed to express herself in such a stern manner, an excited shudder ran through you. Maybe you had a chance. 

"If you uncuff me." The grip on you tightened at Vanya's hesitation. "Or I'll crush her." 

Oh. Bad idea. Once brown eyes suddenly became as white as snow, her soul and body glowing in the dimly lit room. The Handler's grip on you slipped when a blue stream hit her square in the chest, her body falling to the ground with her hand still tied to the bars. 

Seeing an opening, you swiftly threw yourself out, seeking refuge into Vanya's mind. The silence that reigned there was welcome, you let yourself fall limply somewhere into the depth of Vanya's form, totally drained from the last interference. She must have felt your forced entry because the next thing you knew, her soul was shining like a thousand suns followed by the sound of destruction. 

Vanya's power wave exploded the walls and ceiling surrounding you along with the entirety of the Commission's complex. You blacked out when Vanya made her way into the air, a bubble protecting her from the debris with the briefcase in hand. 

…………………………….

11 days. The 11 best days of your life. Even though you passed them fighting to prevent the apocalypse, you would never change them for anything. You had the opportunity to meet your soulmate, fall in love with him and get to know him along with his family. 

Back in your very own body, you were delighted when you learned that the apocalypse wouldn't happen in 2019 now that the Commission's base was reduced to ashes. The happiness you felt from Five's kisses and the loud cheers resonating around you was short lived, Andrew's sad gaze met yours, causing your eyes to tear up. He forced himself to smile, but you saw right through his facade. This same smile was forcing his handsome features back then and it hurt just the same to see him trying to be positive for your sake when he was himself drowning in his sorrow. 

You leaved a confused Five behind and rushed into your brother's arms, your hands closing on his shirt in tight fists. His arms wrapped around your form just as tightly as yours were around his, the thought of leaving him behind again filling you with dread. 

"I love you so much." The sob breaking your brother's whisper torned your heart apart. 

"What's going on?" Unbeknownst to you, the room had stopped celebrating, instead focussing their attention on the odd scene happening before them. Allison was the first to ask what everyone was secretly thinking. 

You took a deep breath, mentaly preparing yourself for Five's reaction at your next words. Releasing the fabric, you separated yourself from Andrew's shirt and joined your hands in front of you in an attempt to stop them from shaking. As soon as your soulmate noticed them, he space-jumped next to you in hope of giving you comfort, instead you cower back into Andrew's chest, but this time facing the rest of the group. You avoided his hurt gaze by watching your fingers. 

"I-" The lump closing your throat made it difficult to speak your mind. A reassuring hand fell on your shoulder hoping to give you the strength needed. "I won't be there when you go back to 2019." 

"It's fine, I can space-jump to Canada without a problem." Five frowned, concerned about why you being in another country was an issue. 

"That's not what I mean." You shook your head and closed your eyes tightly in hope to keep the tears at bay. "What I mean is, when you go back in 2019 I won't be there 'cause I'll be dead. I died in 2009 of a brain tumor."

There, finally it was out! Minus the sharp breaths here and there, the room was utterly silenced. That is until Five kicked the nearby coffee table. The sudden sound made you jump and open your eyes to meet the image of your angry soulmate. You almost regretted telling him, but you knew that he deserved to know.

"That's impossible. You wouldn't be here if you were. Ben isn't." You had to fight yourself to not avoid his angry gaze. He was in denial and you would help him through it. You had accepted your death long ago, your eternal slumber along with your last moments still engraved into your memory.

You could feel yourself floating in comfortable darkness. Your senses were numb, no sounds bouncing around, nothing to taste, nothing to see, nothing to touch, nothing to smell. You couldn’t tell why, but being this senseless made you panic slightly. How long had you been there? An hour? A day? A year? You had no memories of how you ended in this isolated place. However, something in you, hidden deep inside, said that this was better. This was safe. The appeasing thought cleared your mind and allowed your muscles to slowly loosen. 

A flash of color appears in front of you. No. Not in front of you. In your mind. Light green orbs watched you closely. Their magnificent color was tainted by tears. Why is he crying? Light brown strands fall in front of his eyes, hiding his tears from your view. His hair was chaotic like he had passed countless times combing his hand through his strands. A chuckle rose in your throat, aiming to be set free and be heard. Only silence resonated in your ears. 

His form is now shaking slightly. His untamed locks moved in quick succession and sobs reached you. His distress felt like a punch to the gut, stealing all of your air and squeezing your heart. You desperately wanted to reassure him, but at this point in time, all you could manage to do was stay still and wait for your fast-approaching end. Right, I was- You never got to relieve him of his pain, forming the second biggest regret of your life. You felt a pressure on your right hand, warmth spreading from the contact. 

“You’ll get better soon Panda. I promise,” His sobs stopped and a tear-stained face forced a smile at you. Despite seeing the most hurtful smile on his lips, you believed him. The pain already started to fade away. “You’ll be alright.”

The day I died. Your brother was right, you were alright. You weren’t suffering anymore. No more dizziness, no more vomiting, no more seizures and no more explosive migraines. You were free. Only… Your biggest regret would continuously haunt you. I never got to meet him. 

In the background, you could faintly hear the flatline of the EKG along with the last cry of your precious brother and parents calling your name.

"I got diagnosed with a brain tumor in Spring 2003. The tumor appeared out of nowhere, but I remember feeling it developing in me. It felt like  every cells of my body were vibrating."

Five remembered the first time he time-traveled. It was in Spring 2003 and he remembers the exhilarating feeling of the power vibrating within his body. 

"Then I felt warm, even with the cold wind outside. That's when I knew something was wrong."

Five's first attempt to time travel was small. He aimed to the next season: Summer. 

"After that, there was a weird nagging feeling that made me nauseous. Then again, I felt the vibrations and suddenly felt cold."

Five, in the excitation of the moment decided to travel further into the future, in the next Winther. 

"And again, I felt the vibrations followed by the warmth. But then I don't know. It felt like something inside me broke."

Five decided to aim higher; many years later, landing in the apocalypse. Despite his best efforts to go back, he was stuck there. 

"So I survived for 6 years before I died in 2009."

You didn't register Andrew's grasp tightening on your shoulder, but you did register Five falling to his knees in defeat. You hurried to his side, concern guiding your movements. Your hands found their home on his cheeks, wipping away the tears falling from his sad blue eyes. 

"I caused this. I'm so sorry." He engulfed your form into a desperate hug, hiding his sobs into the crook of your neck. The sound of his whimpers hurt you the most.

"Well, maybe we can go back and find a way to cure you." Luther said while comforting a crying Allison. 

You shook your head, you knew it was pointless. "My parents tried everything. My tumor couldn't be removed, it was too close to a vital area and because of my ability, my tumorous cells were mutated. So chemotherapy and radiation therapy had no effect." You tenderly stroke Five's cheek to get his attention. "This wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was!" His yell made you jump. "When I time-traveled it put your cells under the same pressure than mine and because yours were not made for it, it formed a tumor!" The tears wouldn't stop falling down his face, dampening the hem of his shirt and breaking the last pieces of your heart. You had fucked up by allowing him to fall in love with you. 

"I can make you forget me." The mere idea of doing it made you sick however, if it could appease his pain, you were willing to do it. 

Five's eyes widened before his hands gripped both your shoulders harshly. A yelp escaped your lips at the movement, alerting your brother who jumped into action. Too late. Five had teleported the both of you at the opposed side of the room, his distressed state only allowing him that much. 

"Don't you dare do that! You really think that I'd give up the only thing that made me survive the apocalypse without saying shit? I was alone for forty-five years and the possibility of meeting my soulmate one day was the only thing that gave me the strength to continue to fight! Everything I did during those forty-five years was to save our future Y/N!"

"Hey listen-" Andrew was cut off by a furious Five. 

"No you listen, asshole. For once I thought I would be able to be happy! My life on the run was finally over and I could start fresh! But I'll never get to live that because she will be dead when we get back!" His breathing was getting erratic, his eyes were wide and his soul was getting more and more agitated. You noticed the once thin black strings were now not only thicker but longer too. Worry made you take his hands in yours. 

"And whose fault is this, genius?" 

"Andrew!" Your scream made everyone stop, even Five whose fists started flowing a soft blue, definitely planning on teleporting to your brother and beat him with all of his cumulated rage. Instead, you turned to him and asked him to teleport you both away. His eyes met yours for a second before your wish came true. 

You were now at the brim of a forrest with no one around to hear what you had to say. 

"Five," You took his cheek in your hands and met his angry orbs with your teary ones. "I can't thank you enough for loving me. The moments I passed with you were the best of my life and I am so, so sorry for not telling you earlier about my condition. I love you and believe me, I would do anything to be able to live alongside you." You started crying at one point and burried your face in the crook of his neck. 

His arms circled your waist, pulling you further into him to register every detail of your body. Your loud sobs almost covered Five's small whisper.

"Can you do it again?"

"What?" You pulled away slightly, confused about his intentions. 

"Like in training."

Ah that. You were puzzled as to why he would want you to do that right now but if it could help him get better, there's no way you would deny him. So you focussed your mind into transfering your soul into his body, lovingly tracing his soul with your fingers to appease his suffering. 

You felt the shudder running up Five's spine, along with the blush warming his cheeks, earning a chuckle from you. It made you sad to think that this was the last time you would be able to tease him that way. 

"Now stay in there while I get us back home."

"What?!"

"This doesn't have to be the end of us." Your body was leaned down with the utmost care on the feet of a birch tree. 

"Are you sure it's gonna work?" 

"I have to try." He coughed to get himself together and teleported back to the bunker where he met an angry brunette. 

"Where the hell is my sister?" Luther and Diego tried to intercept the angry teenager before he got to their brother, forgetting that it was pretty simple for him to dematerialize himself and pass through them. You would have laughed at Diego's horrified face if Andrew's fist wasn't coming swiftly towards Five's face. What a drag. Five thought. 

He dodged the hit by teleporting away, near the briefcase where he entered the coordinated leading to 2019. 

"She's with me." 

You would have rolled your eyes at Five's condescending tone if you had a physical body. 

"He's worried, Five. You weren't better."

He scoffed and made his way in the center of the room. He would never admit that you had such an effect on him, even though he knew it has been pretty clear in the last minutes. 

"Why?" Andrew was now less angry and more confused. Quite frankly, so were you. 

"If her mind travels within another body, maybe her soul will stay alive." You hummed in approval. It could work. On his side, Andrew nodded and hurriedly flicked Five’s forehead, a groan erupting from the Hargreeve’s throat. You laughed at the gesture, making sure to restrain your soulmate’s movement so he wouldn’t hurt Roo for something that was destined to you.

“You better visit me when you get back.” 

“It’s a promise!” You said after quickly gaining control of Five’s body to smile at your brother, one last time. As funny that the irritation radiating from Five was, you had something to do, so you gave him back the charge of his own body and got comfortable in some quiet corner of his mind. 

The time travel to 2019 was a success. All 6 Hargreeves now back in their adult bodies, cheered at their accomplishment, some jumping into their siblings arms while others proposed to go get a drink. Five was delighted that finally, everything would be okay, his family was safe and he could live a life as normal as possible. 

“Wait wait!” Klaus stopped the group from leaving the lobby of the Umbrella Academy manor and turned to his blue-eyed sibling. “Did it work? Is she still with you?” 

Five took a moment to concentrate and search his mind for your presence. Usually his soul would easily find yours and interlace itself until both nearly merged together. This time, though, the desired reaction never came. With each passing second without finding you, Five’s eyes would widden more and more alerting his siblings of the problem. 

Five desperately yelled your name in hope that maybe your soul had just fallen asleep or something and that you would suddenly reach out to him and soothe his worries. Seconds passed without any movement from you part, bringing Five to his knees once again. His plan didn’t work and you were lost to him forever. 

“Five, let us help.” 

Just as a comforting hand reached for his shoulder, Five teleported himself away to hide the new wave of tears that were falling down his cheeks. “There’s nothing any of you can do.” His voice broke just like the last string of his heart that was keeping it together. A scream broke the silence of the house, all of his pain expressing itself and bouncing around in the empty corridors, reaching his shooked siblings. It was the scream of someone who’d lost everything he had and they were scared of the lengths his desperation would push him to make himself feel better. 

Even after 2 months, Five couldn’t stop himself and plan a way to get back to you. He elaborated multiple scenarios and outcomes to find a secure way to be able to go back and restore what he destroyed, meaning your brain. His bedroom walls were worse than the time he had to write his equations to find who to kill to prevent the apocalypse. Every day one of his siblings would come and see how he was doing and maybe share some words that were never answered, trying to see if their brother was lost to them too. 

On the 67th day, Vanya received a text from Andrew, asking Five to meet at an address. When the news got to him, Five’s hand froze in the middle of his writing. You had promised to see him when you got back. The thought made Five’s anger boil in his veins. You made 2 promises that you didn’t keep. You had promised to love him forever, yet you were gone and now Andrew was expecting you somewhere in your country. Taking it upon himself, Five made multiple jumps to finally reach the desired destination.

“Vanya told me you had a hard time to accept that she was gone.” Immediately, Five’s hand curled into a fist, ready to lash out at the man who was proclaiming to be your brother but let you down without a fight. He wasn’t there for a whole second that Andrew was already poking into the wounds of his heart.

Five’s fist shot through the cold air of the Canadian autumn, aiming at Andrew’s face full force. Five prepared himself for the pain that usually comes when bones hit bones, yet he felt no pain, instead losing his balance when his fist passed right through the brunette. Unable to regain his balance in time, the man fell to his knees right in front of a stone. No, not a stone. 

Y/N Beauchamps

October 1st, 1989

March 14th, 2009

Your grave. The sight of it made it even more real. You weren’t coming back. His anger along with his need to fight disappeared, letting place to his grief. He cries silently, his form still kneeling before the stone marking your last home. Andrew stayed close behind for a while, eyes fixed to your grave before finally touching its corner softly and walking away. 

Time passed and Five couldn’t take his eyes away from your name engraved into the stone. 

“I’m scared that I will lose it for good. That I'll return to be the monster that I was back at the Commission.” His puffy eyes had no more tears to share after a whole 2 months of crying your death. “I miss you so much.” He gently reached for your grave, touching the letters with care like they were a part of you. 

“Took you long enough, soulmate.” Your voice echoed through his head, hurting Five even more. He was hallucinating your voice again. “Oh, no. It’s really me.” The feeling of your soul enveloping his made him gasp and fall on his behind. He could hear your voice in his dreams, your laugh in the wind, see your form in a crowd but never, never could he recreate the feeling of your souls mending. 

“Y/N!?” 

“I missed you too, Five.” The feeling of a kiss fell on his cheek despite anyone being around, filling him in utter joy. You were back.

“H-How-” He couldn’t form a tangible sentence, making you chuckle in the back of his mind. Its sound melted his insides and would have brought tears to his eyes if only his body wasn’t dehydrated from his last crying session. 

“You were right. My mind time-travelled with your body, but the jump ate the last of my energy which forced me out of you and back at my grave.” You traced his soul with yours, eliciting a delighted sigh from Fives’s lips. “I couldn’t go and find you, so I had to wait for you to come to me.” 

“Sorry for taking so long. I should have known.” 

“Don’t. We are together now.” You soul snuggled into his before separating yourself and making Five panic. “Relax, I’m just incredibly tired.” 

“Will you be there when you wake up?” A part of his soul reached for you, enveloping itself around a part of yours like you two were holding hands. The fear radiating from him made you dizzy.

“Yes.” You settled again into a corner of his mind, his soul still connected to yours. “Oh and Five?” He hummed in acknowledgement. “I never break a promise. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

Your presence into Five’s mind kept him sane, while your appearance in his dreams made him whole. 

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

leaning toward my computer screen going, "what are the thematic implications of mirroring the scene when harrison and jeremiah first meet with this new scene where jeremiah meets a new man at a motel under similar circumstances what would happen then huh??"

(Moth Work - 2019, left, Changing States - 2023, right)

Transcript under the cut!

From Moth Work:

The motel is named after a dead woman—The Greta Arquette. Harrison discovers this while absently thumbing through a brochure at the empty front desk. The lobby is decorated with vintage clocks and floral wallpaper and it makes sense—the woman it’s dedicated to died at 92. He’s on page six when a young man with an earring and a hair pick appears behind the desk. Harrison shuts the brochure and slots it back into the display. “Can I get a room?” he asks, already fumbling for his wallet. “Long ride?” The clerk—Jeremiah, according to his nametag—smiles. His skin glows amber under the lanterns hung from the ceiling, and his hair looks too good for 2AM. The collar of his uniform pastes underneath his sweater, and it’s almost charming, this unnoticed mistake. Jeremiah pulls out the guestbook from under the desk and sets it down with a thud “Where did you travel from?” “Oregon.” “Oregon? You there for the beaches?”  The headlights make his eyes bleary, Lonan’s hand limp and pressed against the window. In the rain, everything sparkles, and Harrison should walk out—he could drive another few hours exhausted, could find a gas station for coffee. He could make it work. Harrison turns to Jeremiah, who smiles again. “I like your earring,” Jeremiah says and points to his earlobe.

From Changing States:

When he enters the motel’s lobby, his backpack hiked over one shoulder, the first thing he notices is how much it looks like Greta. The same dense velvet curtains pulled taut over the windows, the same peeling floral wallpaper, the same clocks mounted everywhere, the same stand stuffed with brochures—a deal for boat tours, a map of the state, a Thai takeout menu. He lifts the latter to find a coupon that expired in ’98 inside. “Can I help you?” Jeremiah turns around. A man stands behind the counter, gnawing on a toothpick. His hair is gingery in the tungsten light, his face angular in a way that makes him look both agitated and handsome, but what catches Jeremiah’s attention the most is the drop earring swaying against his hair. It’s not the exact shade of cerulean and he wears it on the wrong ear though the minor coincidence should be startling or at the very least, uncomfortable. And maybe it’s the opalescent shift in the man’s eyes when he repeats his question, or the way he drums the toothpick across his teeth like a xylophone mallet, or that it’s too early in the morning or late at night or whatever phrase is more appropriate to describe this liminal space in time, but Jeremiah’s first thought is that this is the funniest thing to happen to him in a long while. Like he’s possessed with the spirit of himself from what feels like a younger time, he lifts his thumb and index finger to his earlobe and tugs on his earlobe. “I like your earring.”

[derangedspacefreakk]

Alright so: funny story.

Tokyo SOS was based off of a roleplay.

Like,I'm not even joking.

In 2019, I was playing those anime rp games on Roblox (this one used drawings found on the internet) and I chose a kitsune as my character's look. Then I have an idea of "what if this fox chick ran an organisation with this butterfly chick and raised a butterfly child with it?"

Now I'm still working on the story to this day.

2019 was also around the same time demon slayer came about and took the world by storm, and like everyone else I was obsessed with it. I finished the manga earlier than everything else,And I integrated elements of demon slayer into my story. Such as the story not being in the present.

Guild leader went from being a kitsune lesbian to typical job boss who happens to know how to fight.

Cho went from no personality to "not like other girls/MCs" butterfly dragon to just an overly feminine moth chick

Momoko went from flower power asshole to unintentionally an asshole.

Hiro didn't even matter other than being an love interest, to being just "manly oh masculinity toxic masculinity" to "oh shoot,maybe he has more issues than toxic masculinity.

The characters went from orphans living at the guild to people with families (sometimes not in the "traditional" sense) with jobs.

It used to be called the dragon guild,before I considered it wouldn't fit with the themes and stuff.

Honestly,the story changed a lot. Some characters were removed from the story on the pretense they didn't really matter, and before I started actually in depth analysises on what your characters needed,I just looked at how to make a good character/oc videos and left it at that.

Damn,I really have changed a lot. Might make some general art advice.

[evajellion]

2020 vidya ranking: #1 Bug Fables The Everlasting Sapling

You already knew that I was going to tell you that this was the best game I had played last year.

Imo, this should have been indie GOTY back in 2019, but whatever, I guess I should explain why I ranked this one at the top.

Back in 2004, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door was released. I had sadly missed out on getting the original game on the Nintendo 64, but I was nonetheless very excited for the sequel. I got the game, still have my copy even years later… aaaand I got confused in Rogueport Sewers because I was a dumb eight year old, but I swear I picked up the game a second time. Got through all of the chapters, and had fallen in love with the game.

I loved the characters, the battle system, the story, the chapter progression, the cooking system, even the hidden lore and the amount of side quest scattered throughout the game. I even cried. It was the first time I had cried over a video game.

I wanted more, but then, Nintendo didn’t do it again. Sure, Super Paper Mario had a fantastic story, and a lot of people treasure that game the way I do TTYD-- I wouldn’t even mind if the series stayed in that direction. After that though?

Well, Sticker Star happened and stripped away all of the things I loved. Two similar games and one spin-off followed after that. Needless to say, me and several other fans of 64, TTYD, and Super weren’t happy about it. Seemed like I would never get another game like the one that was so dear to me ever again.

Cue me finding Arlo’s video about a cute little game called Bug Fables, just around the summer time. It had come out in 2019 and had been in development for some time by an indie studio. I was skeptic, but at this point I wanted anything-- besides, I actually love insects.

And after the first two chapters, which were a bit bland, I found it. I found the game I had been looking for. I was so afraid that this would be another Mighty No. 9 or Yooka-Laylee, but Bug Fables was anything but. Sure, it took inspiration from Paper Mario with its gameplay structure, but saying that this game is “just Paper Mario” doesn’t do it justice, because game can stand tall on its own.

I loved just about everything here in the same way I loved TTYD. Characters (except for two), the battle system, the story, the chapter progression, the cooking system, the hidden lore and the amount of side quest-- and there was even more than that.

“Gee what did Bug Fables have that Paper Mario didn’t?”

More than one super boss

A card game

Three party members in battle at a time

An entire side quest chapter that you can miss

An in-game randomizer

Higher difficulty settings

FREE DLC

Actual quality of life improvements

And finally, a villain who doesn’t just get a mere slap on the wrist as punishment for their actions. It’s one of the things Super did far better than TTYD because Beldam being let off scott free in the ending always pissed me off as a kid. The final boss is less ham-fisted in general too.

You have three characters at all times-- they’re your only party members and the only ones you need because they’re all perfectly balanced: Kabbu, Vi, and Leif. The third of which you won’t even meet until a bit into the first chapter. You don’t have to worry about wasting turns by switching your members out in this game.

The story starts off simple with the team of three collecting artifacts for Queen Elizant II, who seeks the Everlasting Sapling for an unspecified reason. About half way through the game and into the fourth chapter, the tone of the situation begins to shift, as the wicked wasps from the Wasp Kingdom also seek these artifacts for their lord.

This game doesn’t skimp out on being accurate to bug details either, there are little nods to how things work in real life, which is something I always appreciate. There isn’t really a dull moment in the story or a second where you feel stuck, because with the amount of Medals you get, there are plenty of strategies you can play around with.

Bug Fables is also… surprisingly dark, which perhaps isn’t unfitting of a game inspired by Paper Mario, given the direction TTYD and Super would get into. I can’t really spoil anything in regards to that, because much like with Three Houses, I would rather someone experience that themselves.

In terms of the flaws in this game, I can only think of two. One is regarding a terrible Flappy Bird game that’s required for 100%. It just shouldn’t be there, or at least be easier on the eyes.

The other is that this game suffers from having too many characters, when only four of them get actual character arcs: The main trio and the queen. You have some characters that get more fleshed out in side quests such as fellow team members or NPCs, but I feel like other “major players” suffer in the process.

Neolith is a big one. Cute nerdy moth who just exists as exposition for the artifacts and is a part of Kabbu’s backstory, but he never really does anything besides that, which is disappointing because he’s very cute. I would have loved more lore to him and Kabbu’s past, maybe a future DLC quest can solve that!

Your “rival team” also suffers a bit in this department. The team leader, Mothiva, is a snooty diva who never properly gets her comeuppance or realization that she needs to stop making everything about herself. I guess that’s the point, to give that vibe similar to old Pokémon rivals. But we’re supposed to believe she’s an official couple with her partner; Zasp, who just seems to simp for her in a one-sided way. Perhaps this could also be fixed with another DLC quest.

The worst of the bunch is Kina, Maki’s overly protective and possessive sister to the point of it being creepy. Unlike Mothiva, who is your rival, Kina is supposed to be a supporting cast member, yet she has even less likable traits. She stalks her brother and constantly wants to be with him, gets upset at the idea of him needing space, threatens a small caterpillar character-- you could remove her from the story and it changes nothing. There’s not even a backstory reason for her to be the way she is.

Mind you-- these are very minor nitpicks that don’t really bog down the game. Some may say the main villain of the game suffers from this as well since he shows up halfway into the game, I personally think he was handled perfectly, because you can piece together his motivations and backstory through lore.

Speaking of lore, I hope with so much in this game, that we end up getting a sequel. There are so many questions left unanswered, so much more I wanna know about! 

Other than that thought? The trio of Kabbu, Vi, and Leif and their story is just about perfect. I can’t thank Arlo enough for introducing me to it, and I think this game will catch on more in the future since Chuggaconroy said he was playing it on Twitter, and Fatguy just completed his LP of the game.

I think… we’re entering an age where we should start expecting this level of quality from indie developers more often. This game didn’t feel like an indie game, it felt like a grade a RPG. Which is funny, because that’s what Paper Mario used to be.

God speed, Paper Bug devs. Keep up the good work in the future, thank you for bringing back a feeling I thought I’d never experience with a video game again. I know it sounds cheesy and stupid, but that’s.. just how much Paper Mario effected me back then. Even now, it inspires the books I wanna write, and it’s safe to say Bug Fables did the same.

By the way, can I talk about how delicious some of the food items look in this game? This is insect cuisine, and even I would eat these.

For recap on what the other games I had played this year were, just so you know how Bug Fables topped ‘em:

2. Fire Emblem: Three Houses

3. Animal Crossing: New Horizons

4. Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town

5. Super Mario All-Stars

6. Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon and The Blade of Light

7. Final Fantasy VII

8. F-Zero

9. Star Fox

10. Puyo Puyo Champions

[batgirlxrising]

I’m Batgirl, and you’re toast!

THE BASICS

Name: Stephanie Brown Alias: Batgirl | Batgirl III FC: Josefine Frida Pettersen Age: 21 Gender: Demigirl Pronouns: She/they Sexuality: Bisexual Species: Human Meta? No Born: Gotham, New Jersey Affiliations: Nomads, Batfamily Identity Status: Secret Signed the Accords? No Abilities: Having been trained by Batman and the previous Batgirls, Stephanie is well-versed in the art of stealth and hand-to-hand combat. She’s adept with a large number of weapons, though her talent lies with the bo-staff. After traveling with Leslie Thompkins to Africa, Stephanie picked up a good bit of medical knowledge from her. 

BIOGRAPHY TW; Childhood abuse, drug use

The daughter of Crystal Brown and Arthur Brown, aka the Cluemaster, Stephanie grew up in the slums of Gotham. Her house was always frequented by criminals of both the petty and super variety and she grew up in constant fear of her father. He was mostly absent, in and out of prison. A drug addict, her mother was similarly absent from her life or too far gone to properly parent her, which left Stephanie mostly on her own. Because of a strong resentment of her father, Stephanie always looked up to Batman and would spend long hours on top of her house at night searching for his silhouette in the sky.

 END TW

After her father was released from prison and returned to a life of crime, this time without giving Batman and Robin clues as to his whereabouts, Stephanie (now age 13) decided she’d had enough and became the Spoiler. She left clues for the Dynamic Duo to follow and eventually led them to her father’s base of operation, where she helped take him down. Each time her father was released or escaped, she donned the Spoiler uniform to assist Batman and Robin in catching him. During this time, she and Tim Drake grew closer together and eventually established a relationship together. Soon, Spoiler began patrolling regularly despite both Tim and Batman’s requests for her to stop.

When Tim retired early from the Robin role due to his father discovering the truth, Stephanie stitched her own homemade Robin costume and broke into the Batcave where she demanded he take her in as his protegee. Bruce agreed without alerting Tim, and Stephanie began her training. As Robin, she assisted in taking down Victor Zsasz, Tiger Moth, as well as a hired mercenary sent to kill the Robin before her. In this time, she and Tim broke up.

TW; Torture mention, child death mention

Despite the good work that Stephanie did as Robin, her tendency to push the rules and disobey Batman’s orders led to Bruce firing her from the role in December of 2014, six months after she had asked for it. In an attempt to prove herself to her former mentor, Stephanie stole and enacted a series of contingency plans that depended on the presence of one Matches Malone- one of Bruce’s alter egos. Without his intervention, the plans quickly spiraled out of control and turned into a city-wide gang war. The mobster known as Black Mask kidnapped her and tortured her extensively for information on Batman. Stephanie escaped and barely made it to Leslie Thompkins’ clinic, convincing Leslie to help her fake her own death. Batman sits with her as she ‘dies’.

END TW

Stephanie spent almost two years in Africa with Doctor Thompkins, doing volunteer work for the locals. Here, she learned from Leslie and did her best to live her life without the heroics. However, she soon realized she missed her life as a vigilante and returned to Gotham in August of 2016. She reunited with her mother, now rehabilitated from her addiction, and donned the guise of Spoiler once again to help Tim Drake, now Robin once more, track down a thief named Violet. Batman and Robin tracked her down soon after and she revealed her identity, much to their surprise. She learned of Jason Todd’s return and his escapades as Red Hood, as well as the murder of Black Mask.

In February of the next year, Cassandra Cain gave up her role as Batgirl and gifted her costume to Stephanie, who begins wearing it to track down the Scarecrow who had been putting out a new drug into the streets of Gotham. Barbara Gordon attempted to dissuade her, but after witnessing Stephanie taking on the Scarecrow by herself the former Batgirl gave Steph her blessing to continue working as Batgirl and even supplied her with a new suit. Stephanie and Barbara continue working together until September, when the UN introduced the Sokovia Accords to the public. Stephanie, frightened by the development, takes a week off from her duties as Batgirl to think on it and focus on her schoolwork.

After coming to a decision, Stephanie resumed work as Batgirl and assisted the Batfamily in repelling raids from the ISA in Gotham. She graduated high school in 2018 and began attending college in 2019. However, in June disaster struck. Bruce Wayne was discovered as a major supplier for the Nomads and his assets were frozen. In retaliation, Bruce bombed the Batcave and burned the Manor to the ground before disappearing completely from Gotham. Shaken, Stephanie doubled down as Batgirl until October of 2020.

After a successful patrol, Stephanie was ambushed by the ISA and nearly killed. Barely escaping, she retreated to a safehouse to lie low for a few days both for safety and a chance to think. Realizing it was too dangerous for her to continue, that patrol would be Batgirl’s last in Gotham. After telling Barbara about what had happened, she offered to take Stephanie with her and the two of them relocated to the Mousehole.

HEADCANONS

Stephanie is an extremely good person to talk to about your issues as she usually has good emotional insight and will listen to what you have to say. However, she is desperate for her own outlet and tends to infodump about her issues in return.

Stephanie sees Barbara like an older sister and respects her greatly. She values Barbara's input more than she shows and will default to her when she needs help.

Stephanie is hyperactive! She's very bouncy and tends to have a lot of energy at all times. This makes it hard for her to sit and wait for something to happen, but it also helps her be more alert

When Stephanie is nervous, she'll rub her palms together awkwardly or will bounce on her feet. She also tends to chew her hair when she's not paying attention to herself

Stephanie’s favorite hobbies include doing makeup, stress sewing, baking, and entertaining herself by tormenting her friends

When she’s upset, she’ll wrap herself up in a cape she stole from Batman when she was Robin. If she doesn’t have access to it, a weighted blanket will suffice

[sysig]

2020 Art Purge

I had quite a few doodles that I didn’t end up posting ‘cause I ran out of room or they didn’t fit the theme or any number of reasons, so here they are now with a little ramble about what I remember about them

I had a few leftover Camp Camp doodles, especially from earlier on, thus why David can look a little funny and off-model. I very much wanted to see how he’d look in a suit, I got a few different chances to draw him so! I wanted to post the “Break the Cycle” one but never found the opportunity, it was something along the lines of breaking the cycle of abuse, from his relationship with Campbell and Max’s with his parents. And then a moody Max as well hehe, that one was in October so it was the most recent! Just wanted to draw an angry lad

Mostly fanfic or random ZEX doodles leftoever from SCII - DAX’s intimidating figure in one of the fics really stood out to me but I don’t know I fully captured just how freaked out he’d be. I remembering wanting to be very emotive with his pupil, both panicked and high off adrenaline and still maintaining just a bit of his aloofness, it’s hard! And the first draft of YIK throwing down a rope for ZEX from the pirate fic, I liked this one but it wasn’t energetic enough! A quick Captain from the sword fight (still so cool!), and a silly interaction of if Hayes shamed an openly xenophilic Captain lol. I really need to design a Captain myself so I can wander around being obnoxiously alien-loving on main lol

Around the same time smol and I made this beautiful idiot, she proposed the idea of trauma and generational traits affecting bending, which I was all for, and I made a cute little non-bender family with different dominant and recessive traits. They both live in the Earth kingdom, she’s a refugee and he’s been a resident for generations, and they met and fell in love, aw ♥ And then one more Mac n’ Cheese for the road because I drew him once in reaction to drawing the Solitaire crew and then never again

Unposted sona stuff mostly from the beginning of the year and then I posted the rest of it! Sometimes it was just a bad style day, sometimes it didn’t fit or would be very late (cough cough the Valentines’ Day one) or came off as weird (the spare murder was in reference to reading edgy stuff lol - considering I had just come off Put That Kid Down and the Vargas update hadn’t come out yet - phewf! I did get exactly what I asked for, that’s for sure) The daily pages one is especially funny to be because a) it’s true I still do but b) it was immediately before Bar’s redesign and his whole Deal™ changing, so it had to be left out for being too whimsical lol. The last one still makes me laugh, a happy version of “please anticipate my upcoming response”

More sonas! Oh and a Coffee, since he was the only other Just Desserts character to get left out. Well, I guess I had one of Kaiein too, but does he count? Ehh

It was a silly one at least lol.

There wasn’t a whole lot of unpublished AGE this year, or in general, but it’s a shame because they really turned out cute. I remember I was practicing PigPen when I made that Adara, and I just wanted to draw some pretty Zis while I was still working on the animation meme draft. What pretty ladies!

And a couple little doodles of the fantasy duo! They weren’t actually designed as a pair but I can’t stop, so hey why not have them live in the same world. Opal eyes still doesn’t have a name whoops, but their cute little tail pokes out the back of their robe! Lily is a good head and a half shorter, probably about to rib-height on an average human haha

Lots of little and/or original doodles! A lot of these are either original characters, random designs, or brainstorming - there’s the first ever doodle of Marionette! Nice. I also made that lady with the scars and cut sometime around Feb. 2019 but never posted her or her daughter, they are cute tho. The little night and day one was based on a little Insect-based RPG class system I was working on at the time, Butterflies and Moths being Paladins and Warlocks respectively

I’m so sad I didn’t get to post the wives earlier! I love my angels lads, they’re so cute. I went on a bit of an axolotl tangent, the scary one’s name is “J” lol. Lots of silly little things

I also made a bunch of extremely random fanart over the year lol, from Wilbur Soot to Smokey the Bear but On Fire which is a reference to something but I no longer remember what. There’s also Chiffon from Sir Fluff, a Wooper, Barold from the Villager makeover series, CORPSE Husband, ENA from Joel G, and some little Among Us blobs. Fun designs abound!

[dansnaturepictures]

09/05/2021-Fantastic Farlington Marshes: Three W birds, Painted Lady and more

We arrived at Farlington Marshes this afternoon and I loved taking in the nice familiar smells of the coast. There were some interesting cloud formations about this afternoon as a soft sun poked through as bits lifted and this looked very beautiful especially over the reedbeds. The third picture I took today in this photoset shows this. I was also delighted to take in as we arrived and enjoy it before we went too a sea of yellow oilseed rape along the bank here I’d never seen it here before. I took the first picture in this photoset showing this. As this so often does this stood out in the landscape a lot too I liked seeing it stand out against the prominent landmark of Portsdown Hill when out in the marshes. There is a field within a prominent couple of hills I always love seeing when coming here which was nice and yellow too. It was nice to zoom into one and take a macro picture as well and see some ragwort and Alexanders aka horse parsley by the car park. We looked over the lake and saw lots of interesting birds such as Shelducks with some flying. I also took the second picture in this photoset here. 

As we were stood looking over amazingly a bright Painted Lady butterfly flew in, landed in front of us on the grass for a bit and flew off towards a bush. This was a stunning moment with a very colourful butterfly. I was hoping we might be efficient and pick up a/some butterfly specie/s we needed today at this mostly bird reserve but rich in grassland too you can see butterflies I’ve learnt so much the past few years to get some into the weekend especially with the sun out now. Not knowing whether it would stay overcast or not I brought my macro lens which I use for butterflies with me though I had a feeling I’d need it today I wasn’t able to take a Painted Lady picture but I did need it eventually. But the Painted Lady was by far the earliest ever sighting I’d got of one in a year. I usually see them in June, July and August the latter was when I saw my first of 2020 here. So to see one in early May was phenomenal. We spoke to some people later on that had seen some so I think they may have been hitting this coastal location coming into the country butterflies known for their migration. It felt rewarding once more to submit my sighting to Butterfly Conservation’s Migrant watch: https://butterfly-conservation.org/our-work/recording-and-monitoring/migrant-watch there’s a few in already seemingly by the coast mostly. This sighting felt so valuable for my butterfly year getting one I usually wait a bit longer for and don’t always see in a year so this was special taking my year list to 16 keeping that tickling along nicely competing with what I’d seen at this stage in my past years like I’m doing for birds. I took the fourth picture in this photoset after walking on. 

The main bird we’d come to try and see today was a Wood Sandpiper that had been reported, and we spoke to a kind gentleman that had not seen it. We walked along to the stream bit with a bench nearby and the man went back there and neither of us had seen it. But then at the edge of the water nearer to the cottage we scanned and saw a fair few birds and the man came and picked it up and kindly showed us. It was a sensational view of this very smart and colourful wader. It was a joyful view minutes watching this bird, only my sixth ever sighting of one and like the Painted Lady my earliest ever sighting of one in a year this one I tend to see over the summer or into autumn when I do. 

As we walked on it was great to see loads of Swallows flying around some very closely overhead and see some land on a fence which I tweeted a picture of on Dans_Pictures tonight it was more great views of them this year. We had the same experience for Mediterranean Gulls with lots heard nicely and seen today I tweeted a photo of those too. There were three smashing Wheatear out in a field too we’ve had a good year for them so far. I took the views in the fifth and sixth pictures in this photoset as we walked round. 

We then looked over to the field in the telescope and binoculars to try and catch sight of the Russian White-fronted Goose which had been around. We were so thrilled that we did spot it with a Canada Goose, I was so happy to see it this is a monumental bird for us to see and one of my birds of the year so far. It was wonderful to see its sweet brown plumage, dinky size and white on the beak fusing nicely into the pink. Its only the third I’ve ever seen in Hampshire after here in 2011 and Harbridge near Blashford Lakes in 2017. It felt like a big moment I will always look back on today. Whilst watching this bird we got chatting to a very lovely couple and it was brilliant to be able to show them the bird having a lovely chat about a lot we had in common it was a wonderful moment we met some great people again today at a safe social distance. 

Also whilst watching I spotted some Brown-tail moth caterpillars on the vegetation, and we saw some more further up too. Despite since learning they are toxic I enjoyed seeing them and found them beautiful, its the first I recall seeing too. It was great to use the macro lens on these, I took the seventh and eighth pictures in this photoset of these. 

Walking on I liked seeing some vetch a very nice flower and it was nice to see a straggling Brent Goose they have all mostly migrated by now and Common Tern made a lovely sight too with a few flying on very nice to see them as always I’ve had a good couple of weeks for terns. I managed the ninth picture in this photoset of an interesting sky. 

Just before the end we made it a year tick hat trick and completed the WWW by as we had hoped by hearing they were around here with the tide out being told by other nice people and knowing they could be here seeing a Whimbrel out in the mudflats. It was lovely to get a glimpse of its slick plumage and lovely bill. We had seen one that may have been one on the grass earlier on but couldn’t quite tell. This is an unprecedented I think third year list of mine running a Whimbrel appears on and my second year running seeing them for the first time of the year at Farlington Marshes after 2nd January 2020. Its another of my birds of the year so far and three top drawer year ticks, brilliant to get that many in a day once more lately, have taken my year list to 153 back up to being the third highest number of birds I’d seen on this date behind my 2018 and 2019 my two highest ever totals going ahead of 2014 where on 5th May that year I got 10 year ticks so this did overtake this year for a few days as my year goes from strength to strength. 

I left very happy with what we had seen and when home today in a shower I took the tenth and final picture in this of wet flowers in the garden alongside another couple I tweeted tonight I have enjoyed wet flower a bit lately. This ends another packed, wild and very enjoyable weekend for me, thanks for all your support during it and I hope you have a good week. Wildlife Sightings Summary: My first Wood Sandpiper, White-front Goose, Whimbrel and Painted Lady of the year, my first ever Brown-tail moth caterpillars, three of my favourite birds the Shelduck, Little Egret and Brent Goose, Canada Goose, Mute Swan, Mallard, Tufted Duck, Gadwall, Moorhen, Coot, Black-headed Gull, Herring Gull, Mediterranean Gull, lovely view of Lesser Black-backed Gull, Common Tern, Oystercatcher, Lapwing, Avocet, Redshank, Ringed Plover, Dunlin with those three all in a line at one point on the lake, Whitethroat, Reed Warbler, Wheatear, great views of Meadow Pipits, Linnet, Robin, Blackbird, Swallows, Kestrel hovering, Carrion Crow, Brimstone butterfly, Rabbit, fly and I heard Skylark.