#mostly just typing this out because it helps me figure out what im feeling and why

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I'm part of an Unknown Armies campaign run by my girlfriend, and it's driven me to strange madness. Today I made a conspiracy board for it. I've made memes. I'm painting a map of the setting. I started writing a novella loosely based off of my character, which feels like fanfiction. There's an NPC I'm in love with and her existence makes me want to create fan content. I've never created fan content before, for anything. I'm considering writing fanfic for Blorbo from my girlfriend's head, that's where we're at right now. What is going on

[snekdood]

bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?

[tch8mnis]

OPPOSITES ATTRACT - JAMAL MUSIALA

summary: while she’s bold and outgoing and he’s quiet and reserved, they were bound to crack at some point right?

thank u so much for the request @amirareads i hope i did this justice!!

genre: angst (mostly just arguing), fluff, happy ending

“i just think you need to calm down a bit on the social media! why are you twisting my words?”

“i’m not twisting your words jamal but your trying to control my life and how i present myself because you only care about yourself!”

the argument had been ongoing for hours. days even, which is why the tension between the two is so high. ultimately, the two never fought until recently.

the problem was, they were just extremely different.

jamal never liked for his private life to be too much in the public. although it was difficult considering he’s one of the best young footballers in the world playing for one of the best clubs in europe, he did a pretty good job keeping his private life private.

y/n was the complete opposite.

the internet loved her despite having her own job outside of social media. during the euros, she was labeled “the princess of germany” or “the wag of the tournament”. everyone loved her.

after the amount of attention she gained, she started receiving brand deals. vogue wanted to interview her and she even became a fashion nova ambassador. her life totally changed after that and she would say it changed for the better.

jamal would disagree.

don’t get him wrong, he was over the moon with how happy y/n was. he loved the fact that people were starting to see her in the light he saw her in.

but then it got too much.

he couldn’t ignore the amount of thirst comments he’s seen in her comments from random men, especially other footballers. that pissed him off.

so was it jealousy? maybe. he wouldn’t deny it.

but then with the amount of deals she was getting, some of them required her to go to events. a lot of them.

jamal was a laid back type of guy. he didn’t mind going out with his girlfriend, of course not. but it got to the point where it was overwhelming for him. it felt like his private life was now becoming public the more attention y/n got and he didn’t know how to deal with it.

he didn’t want to blame his girlfriend because it really wasn’t her fault but it became stressful.

which is how they got here.

the pair were seated at the secluded part of the restaurant having dinner. it was their 2 year anniversary which was extremely special to the both of them.

they were enjoying their time together until jamal brought up the topic that’s been bothering him for the past week.

and then, the arguement started.

it wasn’t quite classy for them to argue in a restaurant but here they were.

“that’s not what it is, though.” jamal groaned dragging his hands down his face. he was starting to get a headache and trying his hardest not to cause a scene.

y/n furrowed her eyebrows before leaning in a bit. “well help me understand then because that’s what it sounds like.”

the boy sighed. he could feel the guilt brewing in his stomach for starting this whole conversation in the first place. he should’ve just kept quiet.

“it’s just….” he started, softly grabbing the girl’s hands across the table. “you’ve started to become more of a public figure or whatever and that’s not a bad thing at all but it feels like it affects my private life a bit which i’m not really comfortable with i guess.” he tried to explain, watching his girlfriend’s reaction carefully. he truly didn’t know how to explain it without sounding selfish.

y/n scoffed, pulling her hands away from jamal’s leaving his cold tense. “are you kidding me? i get that you want to keep your life private, trust me i do and you can keep doing that but you can’t blame me for that. it’s like your saying you want me to stop doing these brand deals and events that you claimed to be happy about.”

“that's not what im saying-"

that's exactly what you're saying!"

“no it’s not, fuck! i can’t do this right now” he snapped before pushing his chair out and gathering his stuff. y/n watched in confusion as he placed his card on the table and stood up from his seat. “im going back to the house, if we keep arguing im gonna say something i’ll regret and i can’t do that.” he murmured turning on his feet and walking away, leaving the girl sitting at her seat with tears in her eyes.

she hadn’t even knew what just happened. one minute they were smiling and reminiscing old times and the next her boyfriend was walking out leaving her alone in a restaurant with no way to get home.

y/n thanked her uber driver before opening the door just to see her and jamal’s house come into view. she can see his car parked in the driveway meaning he arrived home.

after he left her alone.

her heart was still aching from the argument. they’ve had a few arguments here and there in their relationship but never to the point where he walked away from her like that. she sped up her walking towards the door feeling her throat close up as the tears continued to spill. she pulled her house keys out her bag and opened the door quietly. the house was dead silent which made her second guess jamal’s presence but then his car keys sat on the kitchen counter told her he was there.

she slipped her heels off and left them at the door before walking up the stairs, pausing when she was at her bedroom door. the lights were off but you can still see the clear figure of someone lying in the bed.

that figure being jamal.

he was sound asleep, soft snores coming from his mouth. she quietly slipped into the room, pulled her pajamas from the closet and walked right back out towards the guest room.

there was no way she was sleeping with him tonight.

after changing she slipped into the very unfamiliar bed and closed her eyes trying to fall asleep. it was difficult. of course it was. she never slept without jamal right next to her unless he had an away game she couldn’t make it to. but other than that? this was totally new for her and she didn’t like it.

she finally fell asleep when the sun started to rise and only slept for about 3 hours before waking up again. her eyes still burned from the tears she cried the night before. she slowly got out of bed and went to the bathroom where she brushed her teeth and took a shower, then walking downstairs to cook breakfast.

it was obvious jamal was still asleep. training started later on in the day today so he was able to sleep in.

was she still upset? of course she was, but she was still going to cook for him. she would never not feed him despite what situation they were in.

she settled for some basic pancakes with eggs and bacon. it was jamal’s favorite.

a part of her didn’t want to give him anything at all after yesterday, but she couldn’t do that.

eventually jamal woke up and walked downstairs after getting himself together to see his girlfriend making 2 separate plates of food.

the sight of y/n made his heart clench. he regretted everything that went down yesterday. he had time to reflect on everything and realized he was being incredibly wrong and selfish and it only made it worse to walk out the way he did.

if he could go back and change what he did, he would.

he quietly walked over to where she placed his plate of food and sat down, watching her walk over and sit next to him. they both ate in silence but it wasn’t the awkward silence.

it was more of a calming silence. you wouldn’t be able to tell something went down last night.

but it did. and they had talk about it.

after they finished eating she gathered both their plates and walked to the sink getting ready to clean them and that’s when jamal began to speak.

“i know your mad about yesterday..” he spoke with a shaky voice. “and trust me you have every right to be. i had time last night to think about everything and realize how wrong i was and im really sorry about that. my intentions were to never blame you or anything like that i was just being selfish and only thinking about myself and i regret it so much bc your the thing i care the most about in this world and leaving you at the restaurant alone at night will haunt me for days because i really can’t believe i did that. you mean the absolute world to me and im really sorry.” by the time he was finished speaking, y/n was already done with the dishes and listening to him speak.

she stood there for a while before walking toward him. he followed her figure until she reached him and watched as she wrapped her arms around him. the second she did, his tense body relaxed and wrapped his hands around her waist to bring her closer.

“i’m so so sorry, please forgive me.” he begged into her neck as she softly scratched the back of his neck. she was upset but she could never stay mad at him. she loved him too much.

“it’s okay i promise.” she hugged him tighter, wanting to be closer to him. he then pulled away and leaned in to place his lips on hers, feeling the tension slowly drift away between the two as their lips moved together.

when they ran out of breath, they both pulled away and jamal leaned his forehead against hers.

“i love you”

“i love you too.”

author’s note: omg this was supposed to come out last week i’m so sorry for the delay but i hope you enjoyed regardless!

[rzyraffek]

I have a request! Can you do Eddie gulskin,brahms hellsire and Billy lenz (idk I'd you do the twins from outlast but if u do them to if not is chill) with a S/O who has an anxious attachment style?

- like there s/o asks If they hate them and kinda follows the characters around like a shadow!!:>

Ong! I love it!! This s/o is so me😭 also why i got 3 eggie gluskin requests at once i never even played outlast! But he seems like goofy fellow!

They/them, sfw, mostly meowmeow fluffy. Requests are closed for now due to huge numbers in my inbox

Slashers with s/o who has attachment issues

Billy Lenz

Oh me oh my they are sure something else

He is the one that usually walks behind his parnet like stray cat so he doenst really know how to react?? Especially if s/o asks him stuff "do you like me?" And is clearly worried about Billy abandoning them. Billy will be like ??? Bestie why would you even think like that!! S/o is great he would never!

He stares at them when they sleep, like it would help him figure out how to feel them more loved

Pls dont vent to him tho! He cant take this type of stuff sirously

Eddie gluskin

😳😳

His guy will blush so hard

When they fallow him, his ego will grow so much! Oh darling what you worried you'll get lost? Huh o- well of course i love you! Your my wife!!!

He can spend as much time with them as possible! As far as they don't mind gory backround and screaming people

Like somone acually cares about him?? Frfr?? With consent?? Gee didnt know s/o was chill like that

Once he found them crying in one of hospital beds, he though somonr attacked them but when he realised they were worried about him, Eddie promised to him self that he will never leave them

Asa emory

Bbg wym??? He spends huge amount of money on them and they still think he doesnt like them??? I mean yeah he spends a lot of time away but like😔😔no no s/o you cant go with him to his workplace nono its too gory for ur lil mind

Alrightttt if they ask him nicley he might allow them to sit in his saferoom there for few hours. But dont try to explore this place pls!! S/o gonna explode in real time irl if they leave saferoom(agressive escape room)

Also if they ever feel bad, he has few dogs so im sure s/o can vibe with doggos if they feel bad

Bro asa really doenst know how to make them understand HE LOVES YOU PLS TAKE HIS MONEY AND DOGS AND STOP BEING SO SAD OML

Brahms Heelshire

Vice versa

This guy sometimes doesnt sleep at night because hes worried that they accualy dont love him, and they are just too scared to leave

But his worries fade away as soon as they snuggle to him while sleeping

He would love s/o that fallows him around!! He has attachment issues too!

Oh please dont worry love! He totally loves them

[fuxuannie]

could you do headcanons where the reader is ganke's cousin and miles fell first but she fell harder? tysm if you will do it<3

╭₊˚ ๑︰he fell first, she fell harder ♡

:★: relationship : miles morales x fem reader

:★: warnings : none, crack & fluff! no atsv spoilers

:★: a/n : suopr old req that i figured i should finish (ㅅ´ ˘ `) huhuoa RAAAGH pls dont be scared of me someone said im kind of intimidating PLZ im just a little guy

"What did I tell you to not do??"

"Fall inlove with your cousin.."

"What did you do???"

"Fall inlove with your cousin..."

"Morales I'm gonna KILL YOU."

I think that it was a sort of love at first sight moment, you walked through that door and his jaw was on the FLOOR. You were so pretty, you immediately smiled and waved at him once you noticed his presence and he was PANICKING in his boots trying to hold himself together.

You and Miles were mostly together when Ganke first brought you over, (of course with some complaining here and there from your favorite cousin) and Miles had the time of his life watching you rant about the smallest things as if they made a big impact in your life.

"POCKETS, MILES! MY DRESS HAS POCKETS!!"

He loved seeing you almost every other day, and after you left the dorm room of him and Ganke, the door closing reveals said roommate standing behind it with crossed arms. "How long have you been standing there..?" Miles raised a brow. "Not important."

"I can tell you've taken a liking to her."

"Have you ever heard of keeping a secret??"

"I don't plan on telling her, infact I wanna help you out. They've been single for so long that it's kinda sad." Ganke shrugged unapologetically as Miles blinked at him in disbelief. "You talk about your cousins like that?"

"Nope, just her."

And so the next 5 hours was Ganke telling Miles all about what you liked, going into detail about the endless date ideas you once rambled to him out of boredom and admittedly he took note of for times like this. Your favorite food, perfumes, type of gifts.. everything was discussed in the span of 5 hours.

If you can imagine Miles taking down notes with visual drawings thats because he can and WILL!! He's a dedicated man, just for you. <3

So for the past year, he's been trying to get you to fall for him. All through little hangouts, messages, calls and the sort.. Blissfully unaware that you had already liked him, just waiting for him to ask you out.

Miles' little mastermind plan was just an addon plus, you had feelings for him after a few weeks of knowing each other. Sure, it started off as a fun little 'happy crush' type of thing till you were up at night staring at your ceiling thinking about Miles' smile till 3AM.

You weren't going to ask first nor make the first move, but you didn't know how much longer you could pretend a mere brush of your shoulder against his doesn't have you thinking about him 24/7.

[theguardianace]

Can I politely ask you to elaborate on the Aroace Nene fic you talked about some time ago? Or just simply how you see her in your brain after finding out she's aroace? If it's not much to ask, of course

OMG YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! absolutely. i will ramble about aroace literally anybody on the drop of a dime this is one of the best anons to get actually

nene's story is actually the one i have the least about, to be perfectly honest. i have a plot for both emu and tsukasa's stories, but haven't quite figured out one for nene. honestly, i think nene's the type of aroace to not really... care about it that much. she'd never cared about love or romance to begin with, so when she realized it was because she was aroace, it was mostly like "hm. cool. im gonna go play animal crossing now".

as for finding out... i think it would have happened in middle school, back when she was Online Gamer Nene TM full time. with how much she loves games and storytelling, it really only makes sense she'd want to engage with fandom content like fics. however, just... seeing the way people sexualize her favorite characters, or only write/draw shipping content... she didn't care for it. she didn't want to engage with that. not that there was anything wrong with it! people can do whatever they want with fictional game characters. she just. didnt care about it herself. which led to her feeling even more isolated even within her favorite hobbies. i think this would sort of lead her to playing a variety of games so she doesn't have to worry about getting absorbed in fandoms she doesn't care to be a part of. she still checks, every once in a while. for games that she really likes. i think its through this that she eventually stumbles across a popular aroace headcannon, goes "what", googles it, and is like "wow. thats me. sick". and then moves on

but like. even when she's moved on. it's still really nice to know, yknow? it explains why she felt like the odd one out not wanting to ship stuff, or even care to entertain it. there's people out there just like her. it makes her less anxious, a little more sure of herself.

she doesn't ever tell anyone. not even rui. (i mean, they hadn't talked in ages. how is she supposed to? "hi, we havent had a genuine conversation in years, how are you? by the way i discovered im aroace and you probably don't know what that means and honestly i dont really care about it myself. have a good day".) (and once they do start talking again, it just... never came up. she never felt the need to, and he never felt the need to ask.) until my epilouge chapter where they all end up coming out like WHAT WERE ALL AROACE THATS SO SILLY anyways

in casual life, i think nene would have been the type for adults to go "oooh, you have a crush on him, don't you? look at you, all red and shy just thinking about him" when shes simply Just Like That. it was really annoying. she knew she didn't like them like that and that was that. but shes too scared to say that so she just took it. definitely didn't help the "nene needs to learn how to make friends" department. honestly, her only relief from it was with rui- both her parents and the kamishiro parents recognized that the two really did care about each other, but it wasn't like that. also no way in hell they're ruining the one friendship their kids have.

later with emu, i don't think there was any point where people even considered a romance, at least not at first glance. it wasn't like people at school even knew about emu (minus when she snuck in, but why would this hyperactive pink thing be looking for that shy second year?). and people walking the streets didn't really assume they liked each other like that since they were two girls. nene's mom was a little curious if they were dating since emu comes over so often and is so physically affectionate, but she never really pressed. she was mostly just happy nene has friends over that aren't just rui. (also, emu's aroace too, so nothing in her demeanor even made nene consider it could have been romantic. shes just Emu.)

for tsukasa, it's a similar thing. by the time people have realized the two are friends, nene's confident in herself and her feelings enough to shut down the people who would even dare assume she likes a buffoon like that star in that way. there's those people that go "oh but you're mean to him and girls are mean to boys when they have a crush on them" but she's tough enough to go "ew" and move on. (she did complain about it a little to rui on a walk home once. if he ended up in her classroom the next day to "grab her for lunch" and weaponize his dangerous reputation to intimidate them when she wasn't looking, it was sheer coincidence.)

also, i think out of the four, nene falls most on the loveless scale. tsukasa, emu, and rui are all beings made of love despite the fact they don't fall in it. nene's a bit different. she cares about her friends, and she's super good at making them (despite what she thinks), but she doesn't really... love them. not in the ways people usually want to describe love. she would kill a man for them in a heartbeat, don't get me wrong. she just experiences those sorts of feelings differently. it's care, and determination, and hope, and happiness, but not... love. not completely.

anyways aroace gamer nene so real fic will happen once i figure out how to tie these ideas to a plot 👍

[cloudy-caspirations]

Hey cas!! I wanted to ask you how to make the most out of notions (cuz its kinda complex app) + how to make notes omg im struggling w this YELPP😭😭

Hi !! I started using notion last year to try and organize my school life and still haven’t completely figured it all out, so I get what you mean with it being a little confusing 😭. I’ve been mostly using it as a planner, but just started writing notes on it over this summer break and am kind of loving it. I’ll include screenshots and stuff under the cut, but if you need more specific details or a tutorial for a database or something feel free to send another ask or dm!

My Notion Setup ⬇️⬇️

(Sorry if the formatting for pictures is weird, I’m still trying to figure out how to use this app 😵‍💫)

For Planning:

Here is my notion dashboard! It’s a little barebones compared to others that I’ve seen on Pinterest, but it works for me because if I include anything else my ADHD brain will get overwhelmed and won’t keep up with actually using and updating it.

I have two databases: one being used as an assignment tracker that sorts my assignments into To-Do, Overdue, and Done sections based on dates and the other has pages for my classes for the semester. (I just realized that I forgot the change the heading from Spring 2024 to Fall 2024, so please don’t mind that 😭) Along with the databases I have a simple to do list for things that I need to get done that aren’t assignment related.

You could also add a calendar view to the assignment database if you prefer seeing it in that format, I just choose not to because I use Google Calendar to see it in relation to my other plans for the day.

I don’t use the class pages for much because I preferred writing my notes in either Goodnotes or a physical notebook last semester, but I’ll probably start using them more because I like using notion to keep track of all of my code snippets and stuff along those lines that are easier to type than write out. It was also pretty helpful last semester for creating drafts and outlines for essays.

For Note-taking:

Here are two examples of pages that could go in the classes database if you prefer to take notes digitally. I like to use databases to create pages to take notes in for each chapter/section of the textbook or material for the class.

My favorite way of viewing it is the board view because I like having my progress visualized (and clicking and dragging chapters to the “Done” section is satisfying), but the table view is also nice if you want to include more details such as quiz scores or dates.

Here are some photos of my notes for a single chapter. I use section headers to separate the actual notes from other stuff like chapter-specific exercises or links, and use toggle headers for sub-section notes to make it less cluttered. Other than the formatting it’s nothing too fancy, my typed notes are similar to how you would take notes in any other software like GoogleDocs or Word.

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

Im sorry im sot sure how to word this right but, how do you manage to change the characters race while still making them look like well, them? I've tried but it never comes out right.... they allways look like a new character when i try.... again im sorry to ask....

Tis not a problem at all dear comrade! I'm always happy to try and answer art questions, but just a heads up i might get a lil bit rambly in some spots so i do apologize beforehand.

First off, change that negative tone!

I understand how you feel and its easy to feel down when the piece isnt turning out how you picture it but that's ok. You're setting foot into new artistic territory, something you havent tried before thats still a fairly big unknown. Instead of seeing it as a failure see it instead as a step in your artistic growth. No one starts off god tier right? Changing your framing of how you see your 'bad' drawings can really help you see em in a more positive light (and help with motivation when you attempt something new another time!)

Ok but onto what you actually asked about. How do you change a character but still keep them the same? Well in my eyes to do this, you have to

Break down thedesign

Let's take in the character we wanna redesign. We gotta really look at their original design and identify all their relevant features and shapes that make them easily recognizable as them.

Lemme grab my assistant Gajeel to illustrate my point.

So we have our Gajeel, yea we know what he looks like but! What exactly are we looking for here? Well we're looking for the key features to his design, features important enough where if he had a completely different hairstyle and colour palette ( and perhaps even body type) would make you go 'yea that's gajeel'.

So in breaking it down we note that he has:

Triangular shaped eyes with a bit of a dark outline

Small eyes with slit pupils

Prominent cheekbones

Jacked up hairline

And of course the most noticable feature, the multiple piercings

These- to me- are the most important parts of his design so i leave them generally unchanged when i go about drawing him. Which means everything else is on the table to change!

Though for me when I got about my redesigns i focus on changing 3 things mostly- nose, lips and hair. These really push a race change design, specifically in this case, makin em black

Now of course with this you are going to change skin tone that's obvious but relying solely on colour palette change makes for a somewhat weak redesign. If you turn off the colour and you can't tell if the character is nonwhite then it needs some work.

Noses and Lips

Now there are a great many ways to draw wider noses and it can be a bit difficult figuring out to interpret em without em lookin janky but i find that less is more!

I only ever really show the base of the nose where the tip part is and the nostrils, the bridge of the nose is only ever shown in my style when the head is a bit turned.

The same goes with lips, you only really need about 2 or 3 lines at minimum to emphasizs thick lips- one for the actual lip line, one for the top lip and one for the lower lip. Some people choose to leave out the line for the bottom lip and thats fine. Just don't do this-

If you do that im putting you in the ground myself.

Hair

Hair is a bit of a 50/50 for me to change most times because i really enjoy drawing that spiky anime hair lol. But I think that the important thing to keep note of changing the hairstyle to a more natural one is to keep the overall silhouette of the hair recognizable.

The silhouette being y'know, the shape and all that. If you're a pokemon fan then you already know how much a silhouette builds recognition. So as an example, Juvia's first hairstyle was that straightened looke with the tight curls at the end. The shape of that hairstyle was mimicked by using braids with puffs at the ends to help with maintaining that silhouette.

Gajeel has very big, spiky and wild hair so I tried to mimick that with dreads

(Also to note with the Gajeel redesign is that his face is slightly wider with the features a bit lower but thats more of a liberty I took than anything hard and fast so dont even worry about that)

Again, if i am changing the hair then i try to follow the shape of the original design as closely as possible. Even with a design such as my Black Gray design with a vastly different hairstyle i still sketched out the shape of his og hair to maintain the overall spiky shape (with a few liberties lol)

So uh, yea! I think that's the most basic breakdown of how to go about doing a black redesign. Identifying the key design traits i think really is the most important step to do as it really helps to cement what's necessary to keep and what can or cant be changed.

But some other stuff to be mindful of when redesigning:

Refs naturally are your friend. If you have difficulty with interpreting irl refs then theres no shame in using someone elses art as a reference to help you to learn and understand (just no tracing!)

Please for the love of god use saturated browns for the skin tone. I cannot tell you how often i see designs with a gray-brown skin tone. It makes the character look ashy. Please don't make them ashy.

Also speaking of skin tones, be mindful of being accidentally colourist, where all your darker skinned characters villains or angry, loud, violent, sexual, etc. Not saying you can't redesign characters who have those traits to be dark skinned. But if all the characters you redesign to be dark skinned have those traits while others with more positive traits are lighter shades you may want to step back and do some reflection.

Don't be let down if you don't get a redesign on the first try! You don't see behind the scenes for other artists, it definitely takes a few tries to get it right so dont get hung up on it!

These are not hard and fast rules, just really what works for me and how I do things. If you need anything clarified better or wanna ask anything else feel free to! Happy redesigning comrade!

[aromantic-diaries]

J!!!! im asexual i think!! i know you're more the aromanticism expert but i remember you talking a lot about the distinction between the two identities and i could use some help navigating the divide as it were :o

i figured out i am aromantic pretty quickly after discovering your blog, and i think that's the identity im resonate more with- but last week i made the connection that not getting crushes is kinda an ace thing? i think sex is cool but i dont think im sexually/physically attracted to other ppl at all

how do you personally differentiate the two identities? did you adopt them at different times? it might not be the same for everyone but id like your perspective :)

-pteren 💚🪽

Hi! Even though I personally view my aromanticism and asexuality as two different things, I don't think everyone feels about it that way and a lot of aroace people actually don't make a distinction between the two, the aroace flag for example was meant to represent people for whom it's just one thing, at least that's what I heard. But as someone who does see it as two separate things, I'd say aromanticism is about the emotional aspect of it and asexuality is the physical part. I don't know what romantic attraction is supposed to feel like, all I know is that I don't feel whatever you're supposed to feel. As for the sexual part, I was actually confused about it for a while because sex does sound like a good time, it's just that there's no one I'd actually want to do it with.

I did figure these things out separately. It's hard to tell which one I figured out first because putting the pieces together was a lenghty process. I definetly showed signs of aromanticism very early on (i'd say as far back as early childhood) and it was pretty much obvious by the time I reached my teens, but there was a good amount of denial thrown into the mix which really dragged the whole process out. As for my asexuality, it kind of became clear when I was 14-15 but I swept that under the rug for a while. The one I admitted to myself first was aromanticism though, and not long after that I also came around to admitting I was asexual. I would say that they go hand in hand but the process of figuring it out kind of happened separately.

At the end of the day, I see them as two different things because that's what makes the most sense to me. I suggest taking some time to learn about yourself and understand your own identity and the experiences relating to it, so you can figure out what works best for you. You can just say you're aroace and not separate the two, that type of distinction exists mostly to bring awareness to the fact that aromanticism and asexuality aren't neccessarily a package deal and a lot of people are one but not the other, or they have different experiences with different aspects of their identity, it's okay if that's not the case for you

[notnights]

You mentioned that years ago you felt just as miserable as you do now. Which means you've lived threw this before, and you will again.

Or atleast i really hope you do, you seem nice

The art you make and stuff you write is honestly beyond just hella awesome even the reblogs you make are just rad! (im bad at verbalizing this kind of stuff but i do appreciate you on my dash, im glad your here. But much more than that i appreciate the type of person you seem to be and the stuff you like)

I hope whatever is plagueing you washes away again as it did before, until then remember to take care of yourself please. Summertime is usually a tough time for people all over the world and we kind of forget we're like actual animals, Be your own zookeeper! Drink enough water and get plenty of sleep

I hope your day/night gets better man

The problem is several of it will never ever go away. It’s always with me most of it will always be with me no matter what. And that sucks. Hahah man that sucks. Sure some other things might get better but some others are always going to be there and will still be there when other problems arise again. And I constantly wonder if maybe I preformed some terrible deeds in a past life to get such a messy combination of problems. And every month seems like worse news comes up and who knows maybe if I had a break, maybe try and fix one of those things at a time things would get better but that’s literally impossible without how this stuff works.

I do feel like drawing and story telling is the only real value I have about myself but it’s not like viable compared to everything else wrong with me. It’s a skill that doesn’t effect or that I can even utilize in helping in any other things in my life currently other than I guess vent and make art. I draw so much it feels like such a byproduct I don’t even like post 40% of what I make because I either feel it’s unfinished or just not something people would be interested in (which is fine I draw for myself and mostly myself posting it or not is just a socialization thing more than anything else for me)

But it’s like that doesn’t help treat my illness, or help me figure out what’s wrong with my brain that makes it unable to drive a car, make enough money to treat me or move and get out of here, heaven forbid if my mother found out the type of stuff I was drawing, what she’d do should warrant her own stay at the psyche ward.

Sorry this is a lot to dump on a stranger a little anon I know you’re just trying to help and I do appreciate it I’m sorry I’m being so negative. I do appreciate small things like you liking stuff I reblog and do decide to share.

Yesterday I accidentally stayed up near 30 hours after a break down after reading a letter I received with sucky news. Then now just woke up after sleeping 19 hours and I’ll probably decide to sleep more what else I got to lose. But I still haven’t eaten. Even if I was given food right in front of me I don’t think I could stomach it I feel so emotionally awful.

[suntaeshine]

Hey! What kinks do you think nct have?

deep breath,, this is fine,, im not familiar with all the technical terms so stick with me on this

smut below the keep reading tab

MINORS DNI (go study and grow i love you and you are the future it’s not too late to turn back)

Taeyong: watching you masturbate, roleplay, wax play, power swap (you’re both switches and it’s f u n)

 Johnny: size kink, soft choking, roleplay, dirty talk (to the point you’re there like johnny shut the actual fuck up)

 Yuta: bondange, choking, roleplay, slapping, coursing, hard dom he will make you cry or else you didn’t really have sex

Kun: ‘sir’ kink, spanking, vanilla sex on occasion to make you feel ~feelings~

Doyoung: ‘sir’, ‘boss’, ‘master’ kinks, power play (not really dom he just likes being in Charge), handcuffs, oil massage into sex

Ten: literally like fifteen positions while having sex, flexible and acrobatic shit, pet play (you are his kitten and you have a collar), anal (but he doesn’t want to tell you until he’s sure you’re into it too)

Jaehyun: ‘daddy’ kink, creampie, 69, impregnation kink (what is the actual name for that ??), hands on your throat but he wont like Choke you Choke, ya know?

 WinWin: praise kink, praise kink, praise kink, praise him, he will praise you, eye contact during sex so he can watch your facial features as close as possible, he also has this Thing where he wants you to try and not react as he fucks you (he thinks it’s a game)

Jungwoo: ‘baby’ kink, no dom/sub (he wants you to be equal and just love each other whole heartily), holding hands, roleplay (cliche ‘i’m stuck’, doctor, and pizza man shit that you usually laugh during and break character)

 Lucas: size kink, size kink, size kink, roleplay, he has a thing for pinning your hands above your head with one of his hands and teasing you with the other, dirty talk, slight degradation until you’re both close and then praise praise praise

 Mark: this little shit likes games (like that try to not react), phone sex, oral all day every day (’i knOw WhaT I wANt foR DeSseRt’ type shit), dirty talk and communication (he doesn’t want to hear no ‘green light’ shit he wants to hear you say how much you enjoy how deep he is in you)

Xiaojun: eye contact don’t you fuckin dare even BLINK, dirty talk, he loves any position but please ride him sometimes bc he will crumble and give you the entire world, he also has a Thing for making promises ?? like ‘say it and i’ll make your dreams come true’, ‘i’ll give you everything love’ like it’s a niche thing but he can’t help it, also he wants to make you make as many noises as possible until he hears something you’d never done before

 Hendery: voyeurism, mirror sex, oral (suck his fingers PLEASE), dirty talk with slight degradation, hair pulling (both ways do it to him and he’ll make noises like a pornstar)

Renjun: degradation (but you don’t figure that out for a long time), wax play, holding hands during sex, he absolutely has to say ‘thank you’ and tell you how much he loves you

Jeno: size kink but mostly strength kink ?? like you ask him often if he gets turned on by himself when looking at his muscles in the mirror (he does), mirror sex, ‘sir’ on special occasions

Haechan: mouthy little shit please degrade him because he has so much stored back to fire right back at you, spit kink (please spit in his mouth), he also likes roleplay but only cute shit like you’re friends and uh oh we kissed now what whoops

Jaemin: he’s going to slap you everywhere,, like your cheeks (face and ass), your ass, your sides, he’s just,, he’s GOING to slap you without even noticing he was really doing it, pet play (you are his ‘puppy’), and soft choking

YangYang: switch of all switch (when you degrade him, will he moan or cry? sometimes both?), power plays (you are not equals but you also don’t have your fixed roles,, switch switch switch), hair pulling (both ways), spit kink (both ways), slapping (both ways), he’s down for anything as long as the person with the idea is the one in charge for that session

[kitebird-hockey]

Hi, I'm just starting to get into hockey (went to an open skate the other day to remember how to exist on ice), and I have all my gear so I'm planning to go to a stick and puck session within the week - I've never used a hockey stick before so I need to try a lot of things out! I'm having a little trouble figuring out what to expect though, or if there's any etiquette for those kind of open sessions - would you be able to shed any light on that for me? I appreciate any insights!!

that's really exciting!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!! If you have experience skating, you're already starting ahead of where i did, haha

stick and puck will be a bunch of people of all ages doing whatever! etiquette ime is mostly: don't steal other people's pucks and respect any obvious divisions of the ice (e.g. if all the small kids are in one zone, go to the other side).

the stick and puck I went to in Canada seemed to expect you to bring your own puck? i've never experienced this in the midwest US, so that might be a regional thing. (if anyone else has experienced this lmk)

Idk what your gender is, but if you don't want to change with a bunch of grown men (i personally do NOT like to see so many strange dicks), i would recommend wearing enough layers that you feel comfortable putting gear on in public; there's not always another private space available. sometimes when i ask "where's the women's locker room?" i am told that there isn't one, or i am directed to a literal closet. so now, when i go to a new rink, i make sure I'm already wearing my sports bra, neck protective base layer, etc. (you could also bring base layers to change into in a bathroom stall, but i kinda hate that tbh.) several times i have been directed to the men's locker room and like... look. i just. i don't wanna. it feels awkward. i feel like i'm not supposed to be there and i end up pulling my sports bra on in some disgusting bathroom stall after dodging guys standing dicks-out at the urinals. it's bad. i learned to put my base layers on before i get there.

People don't always wear full gear at stick and puck, but I like to, because then falling doesn't hurt and I feel capable of practicing new skating skills. try falling in your gear if you've never worn all of it before! it was surprising to me at first how little it hurt.

If you've never used a stick before, make sure you cut and tape it before you start!

You could look up a couple stick-handling drills if you want to be sure to have something to do, or you could practice skating with the puck on your stick.

At basically every stick and puck I've been to, there's a circle of people standing around a net and practicing shooting. Feel free to join in! And ask people for help! Pick a type of shot you want to learn first.

I personally have had excellent results simply asking for help. Even random men who are kind of jerks are willing to answer a direct question about something they're an expert at. And I made a good friend this way!

Outside of stick and puck, you can use a road puck to practice stick-handling. But shooting on concrete or tarmac will destroy your stick after like, two shots; get a sheet of fake ice instead. (AFAICT fake ice is just sheets of (x)dpe polyethylene plastic. I took a look at the descriptions of the expensive fake ice sold at hockey shops and bought a 2'x3'x3/16" HDPE sheet from McMaster-Carr, which is currently $26 plus shipping. it held up to once-or-twice-a-week shooting practice over last summer.)

[rxttenfish]

one thing that i keep waffling back and forth on (because im still thinking about writing out the Symptoms Of A Merfolk Crush (Merfolk Has Crush On You) and its relevant) is the topic of merfolk social grooming, mostly in the form of licking each other

primarily this is because theyre. you know. marine animals. grooming is important to them yes but licking isnt really how its done and wouldnt do as much as it does on land - usually it would occur in the past more of removing sufficiently large enough objects with the hands or mouth and anything smaller usually getting taken care of by rubbing themselves on the sea floor or using found items to rub against, and primarily to dislodge parasites. and ofc nowadays they have the domestic cleaner wrasse colonies that handle it best of all.

theres not really... a reason that licking each other would help in removing anything from their bodies that wouldnt be handled otherwise. but also i really like them licking each other and an impulse to lick the other as a bonding thing is something that's stuck in my head and i cant get it out, so im figuring out other reasons that merfolk would do it

and primarily i think it just has to do with smell/taste again. both senses in merfolk are greatly heightened and sharp, and they already have an urge to try and make those theyre close to smell like themselves. they produce a slime layer over their skin that specially dries on land and helps seal in moisture, so usually when theyre doing that this is what is getting involved, as a vector for other scent-marking and communication proteins and All That. it might also tend to boost the health of merfolk that get marked in this way? as in, if their own slime layer isnt being produced as well or theyre already ill, the protective qualities from a healthy individual's slime layer can be shared with them and give them a little boost, but maybe theres also more complex underlying mechanisms, im not sure

which would also make merfolk licking more of a social grooming thing again, but licking as a contact exercise would also help to spread their own slime layer on the other merfolk, with the additional benefit of this also working on land (and maybe being something more basal to the group than i had been imagining), thus making them smell a little more like the groom-er.

but also because merfolk smell/taste is so important, merfolk also have this... sort of mental pressure to bond by examining and exploring other merfolk's bodies? which sounds weird when i say it like that, but its more comparable to wanting to play with someone you likes hair, or touch their legs and their arms, and otherwise just feel them and enjoying the experience of learning this sensory information about them. and because smell/taste is such a huge aspect of merfolk, this also includes putting other merfolk in their mouth, basically.

which is basically just an extension of playbiting in the first place? merfolk are very mouthy creatures and interact with a lot of their environment using their mouths, basically being a third hand for them. and they like to play with each other and bond with each other and cuddle with each other, so they also have a lot of different types of bites that say different things and have different emotional connotations. they have flirty bites, they have play bites, they have being an annoying pest for fun bites, they have "look at me" bites, they have "i just wanna chew on you without hurting you" bites, they have "i am bored and seeking sensory information" bites, they have "i want you carnally" bites, and they have all the aggressive and threatening bites you can imagine. they have a lot of bites and types of bites and ways of biting each other, its a whole thing.

so broadly i think licking each other would just kinda be an extension of that. a sort of calmer non-bite where they want to groom each other and make them smell like each other but also where theyre just genuinely examining each other and tasting each other as a more platonic attempt to learn about each other. and i feel happy enough with that, that works with me.

[klapollo]

is copywriting a good job to look into as a writer? im job hunting and i see quite a few openings online but im worried the work will be extremely dreary

i didnt set out to be a copywriter -- frankly when i graduated i had no idea what i wanted to do. i spent about three and a half years freelancing and doing gig work and i'd make like 140 bucks a month on a good year. i happened to apply for a copywriting job among a sea of other entry level things -- social media coordinator, communications associate etc. and i feel SOOOOO fucking blessed that i fell into copywriting

in terms of money: copywriting is very lucrative if you get the experience for it and stay the course. my very first position with no prior copywriting experience (just freelance writing experience) paid me 35/hr. starting off you'll probably make about 50k but moving up the hierarchy can pay a LOT. with four years of experience, during my job hunt i would say the vast majority of the positions i interviewed were within a six figure salary band. moving up the hierarchy, lots of senior copywriters make six figs, and some associate creative directors make over 200k. you can definitely live comfortably as a career copywriter if you play your cards right.

in terms of work: personally i love copywriting, but it's an arm of marketing. if you cant stomach writing marketing materials or learning how marketing works, it might not be for you, but i kinda make it into a game in my head. there's a lot of different kinds of copy -- short form (landing pages, social media blurbs, headlines, emails, product descriptions etc) and long form (white papers, SEO articles/blog posts, ebooks). i would aim to find a copywriting position that will have a wide scope of copy types, because that helps cultivate a well-rounded resume (i.e. shoot for a job that'll have you writing landing pages, emails and blog posts etc over one that's just headlines and captions).

there is also B2C (business to customer, as in marketing a consumer product to individuals) and B2B (business to business, as in marketing a product like mailchimp to a business). i mostly do B2C, but I also do B2B now. it's fine to start with just one, but i'd say right now demand is very high for B2B

the good thing about copywriting is that basically any industry requires it in some capacity. i've worked predominantly in entertainment and digital media, but right now i'd say the biggest demand is in healthcare, fintech and SaaS (software). i freelance for a telehealth company right now in part because i want to make my portfolio more well-rounded. but as i said, nearly any industry can need one -- hospitality, beauty, fashion, retail, nonprofits, anything that is a business that needs to be advertised. when i started, i worked in television, which meant my days largely consisted of watching shows before air and writing episode descriptions. i had a lot of fun!

personally, i dont find my work dreary. sometimes it can be a LITTLE tedious if i'm writing something more technical/internal, but the whole point of copywriting is to figure out how to entice someone to check something out, which means puzzling out how to write something fun and engaging. if you want something less marketing-focused, i would look into getting into technical writing. this is basically writing informational texts and guides for technology and similar things. it pays VERY well and is usually in high demand, but i will say it's definitely more tedious than copywriting.

in short: yes i love copywriting and you can be very financially stable in it! i'd argue it's one of the most financially comfortable day jobs for someone with writing experience. happy hunting anon!!!! i hope u get what ur after

[filmnoirsbian]

hi joan. so ive written poetry for a few years now, but ive taken a break for a while because i couldn't find the inspiration or motivation to write. recently, ive started reading more poetry and other types of writing, but i find that im being inspired by specific lines (or concepts) more than anything else, and i think im crossing from inspiration into plagiarism. the thing is, in my own poetry, ill mostly either copy things like the structure/message/word choice/feel or what the line or poem itself is trying to do and i can't seem to stop. i can't get inspired on my own like everyone else seems to - it feels like my mind is blank whenever i try to write. and then i get inspired by others, it seems i can only badly imitate the words of another writer. i cant even read someone elses work without getting an idea about my writing or thinking about how it can branch off into my own. i cant help feeling horrible and guilty about it all the time, and it makes me question whether im even meant to be a poet despite the fact i genuinely do want to do it. it's like i dont have anything of my own to say and im just regurgitating everything that strikes me in writing. sorry, obviously you dont have to answer this, its very desperate lol. but would you have any advice (your writing is v good and i admire your thoughts)? in your opinion, how would you differentiate between inspiration and plagiarism? how do you find inspiration when it feels like you have nothing to say (if that happens to you)? and just. anything in general. i just feel so lost and hopeless - it seems like every writer has it figured out and knows the answers, except me. sorry again

Everyone gets inspiration from somewhere. None of us exist in total isolation and inspiration is everywhere, which is a good thing. I think this is something most creators worry about, given how much of art and media these days is derivative (and has, in spite of what we may think, been derivative throughout the ages. Again, no one exists in a bubble. Art being similar in theme or style is also not an inherently bad thing). Really, I wouldn't worry about it unless you are actively copying another person's work to the point where your work is not only similar, but genuinely incapable of standing on its own. There are plenty of talented poets (and artists in general) who have taken inspiration from other poets/artists before them. In this way, art can often be an ongoing conversation across generations. It might be helpful for you to decide what it is you want to bring to the table in this creative potluck, what you want to add to the discussion, what you hope might plant the seed of inspiration in the next poets to come.

[boy-gender]

Hi! You can answer this publicly or privately, but I figured maybe someone else might have a similar question? I just wanted to ask about your personal reasons for using it/its pronouns.

I ask bc I've come across two different characters, now, in media I enjoy, that use it/its pronouns. And I've enjoyed seeing it! They're both two of my favorite characters in their respective media. And i think im kinda questioning whether or not my excitement for these characters (particularly when pronouns are discussed bc they're both great characters outside of that fact) is just bc it's nice to see representation, even beyond they/them pronouns, or if maybe I should consider it/its for myself? I'm not sure, I just thought hearing other people's experiences could potentially help me figure that out. Thank you for your time!

Happy to answer!

First of all, whatever pronouns you want to use is entirely up to you! Nobody gets to tell you what to use and what not to use, or what to try out and change later if you don't like it. If you feel like you want to try a set of pronouns, try it! If it doesn't jive, just change it again. There is no limit to how many pronouns or labels you can use, try, drop, pick up again, or how many times you change it. If it sounds like it/its makes you happy, go for it, even if it just "just" because of characters you like. There's nothing wrong with being influenced by the stories that are important to you.

My reason for using it is mostly trauma-based. All my life I've felt a significant disconnect from my own body, but I didn't realize I had a dissociative disorder until I was like 24. A combination of child abuse causing the disorder, where I never felt like my body was/is me, just that I'm a thing inhabiting the body, possessing it like a spirit- and also lifelong bullying and ostracizing by my peers both contributed to it. There are many times I don't feel like a man or a woman, or a nonbinary person, or any type of person at all. I was dehumanized; I had my humanity stripped from me, including my gender. Fat autistic weird 'girls' aren't treated like girls, intersex tomboys aren't treated like boys, we're treated like monsters. Like kicked dogs. I existed only to be abused by the people around me- my parents and teachers who were supposed to protect me, and the peers who should have been my friends and community. Freaks don't have genders, those are for people. And I was constantly reminded that I did not count as a person.

I very much associate the bullying I endured with my gender nonconformity. I was an afab intersex person- I was a girl of age like 13 with a moustache and beard growing in. I was fat, and my fat never distributed to the 'desired' places for a girl (also, this was like 2008. There was no 'desired place' for fat on girls). Other kids knew or sensed things were different about me- that I was queer in multiple ways, that I had several mental illnesses, that I was fat and ugly and was friends only with other rejects, meaning nobody gave a shit what happened to us. There would be no one to come to our defense no matter how severely we were harmed. We didn't matter.

When I found out I was a system, it put a lot into perspective. The disconnect from the body, from my identity, from my own memories (which are all in third person) made more sense. My other is not human. At first I assumed the "it-ness" was because of this, but actually he doesn't like to be called it at all. It hurts him. It doesn't fit. The it-ness is from me. It's an expression of the gender experience I was denied, a reclamation of the othering I suffered. I don't count as human. I will never be worth being human, or having typical human experiences. I will never be allowed into the club. But it turns out there are other clubs out here- humanity and the cisgender binary are not the only options. I no longer see my othering as "be human or just die," but as "not human? Cool, come try one of these other myriad things." There are so many more things you can be besides human.

This makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Firstly, good. People should be uncomfortable with the cruelty I endured and the marks it left. People should be uncomfortable that they probably participated in othering people as children, and maybe even still do it as adults, and they should be uncomfortable that society is raising their children to continue to do this. It is, in a way, a little bit like my pronouns being fuck/you, or examine/yourselves. Some of it's shock value, and I like that.

Secondly, the shit I get the most is from other trans people, saying I'm somehow harming the trans community because other people call us "its" as an insult. If someone were to call me a she, that is incorrect, and could be used as an insult- they're misgendering me, they're trying to hurt me. This is not the fault of the word "she" and I'm not going to go up to a trans woman and say "this word hurts me, so you cant use it. No more she/her pronouns for you." We are not all going to have the same comfort level with words. I don't like being called a dyke, but dykes do. Some people don't like being called queer, but lots of us do. Some people don't like being called it, but I do. Either way, I get to decide what I am called, and other people get to decide what they are called, and nobody else gets to veto someone's identity. If someone doesn't like calling me it? Then they don't have to talk to me. If they won't respect my pronouns, they're not any better than people who would call me she or her. I don't need their input or validation.

If you do decide to try out it pronouns, I would say be prepared for backlash, but also don't let it effect you. Block people liberally, joyously even. Don't argue. Don't bother. You do not have to justify who you are. And, consider "soft launching" your pronouns! Maybe tell a couple close friends, or just the internet, and if it goes well, expand to other people, and then other people. Roll it out in stages while you get comfortable and try things and assess. You don't owe anyone a coming out; you can decide if, when, how, and to whom you explain yourself, if you ever do it at all.

As an aside, I want to make a distinction here- I'm not otherkin. I don't say I don't count as human because I am some other type of creature just in a human body this reincarnation. This is not a spiritual belief, or even a psych-kin thing. This is purely a product of trauma, something that was foisted upon me that I am now reclaiming, not something innate to my identity. I don't want people to conflate my experience with that of otherkin and be like "see? you're not really [whatever], you're just traumatized!" I hope people will not use my experience to police other people's identities. I am speaking only for myself.

Hope this helps. If you have any more specific questions, feel free to reach out!