#mostly jokes he would be tryna help his people lol

[ms-cartoon]

New HB Episode! (Jesus...)

Alright... So I seen the new episode - can't say this show gradually gets any better. I can fairly say there was only one decent thing about this episode, and that was the backstory with Moxxie and why he has daddy issues. Seriously though, why does almost EVERYBODY in this goddamn show have daddy issues??? And why are all these dads a**holes?? And yes, I'm going to include Millie's father. Of course, he's no abusive dad, but he (nor his wife) wasn't kind to Moxxie at all, and all because he was considered a weakling who uses guns as a choice for weapons. Which sounds like a pretty stupid reason. There are people who are scared to even pick up a gun, let alone pull a trigger.

I couldn't tell if I was skimming through this episode, or if the episode was just skimming itself and I just couldn't keep up. I think it's mostly the latter, cuz MY GOD, this was so rushed! I had to watch this twice to process whatever was going on. Everything just feels so crammed into this episode There's also Moxxie's ex-boyfriend, but I'll get to that in a minute.

⦁ So the first start of the episode, we start with Moxxie and Loona in the room. I just love how Loona is just there, lol!! She's just sitting at the table on her phone and has no speaking lines whatsoever. She might as well have not even appeared in this episode, for real. What's bad about this is that she was only there for another "Moxxie is fat!" joke. I really don't get what's so funny about this gag. Why is it even a gag? Moxxie is not fat! He don't even look it. I highly doubt he's even heavy. Loona and Blitzo are just being d*cks to him. It doesn't even help that he mentions he lost a few pounds just so they stop making fun of him. Now it's just sad!!! They body-shamed Moxxie so much, he felt he had to lose a few pounds so they would leave him alone about it. They did not make this funny, they just made it worse. PLZ STOP with the unfunny fat jokes!!

⦁ This seems to be the most try-hard horniest episode compared to the ones that have Stolas in it. Seriously, what in the gracious hell is with these dildos popping up from chairs and walls!!!??? 

Then there's Blitzo who has photos of porn in the drawers in his office (why would he even put those where people can open it up and take stuff out anyway??)!!! And then you got this perverted fish (who's the most annoying out of everybody in this episode) tryna bang everybody in IMP! He's literally just another Stolas, Blitzo, and Angel Dust character put in one: an LGBT horny mess who just wants to get his mack on anyone around him or just certain people, sexually harassing them in the process. Plus, anything that comes out of his mouth is a literal sex joke and it's just uncomforting.

⦁ So Moxxie's family is in the mafia and they're rich...... But why??? I thought Imps were of lower class and practically poor compared to the other species of demons.

  ⦁ You mean to tell me Millie and Moxxie dated the same guy at one point in their lifetime before getting together? Okay, but it seems to be too much of a coincidence. Idk, it just comes off as odd.

⦁ So Moxxie and Chaz had a thing going on before he met up with Millie. But when they were together, their relationship seemed to be more centered around lust than there was genuine love. Obviously considering when Chaz was quick to take the money and abandoned Moxxie when he needed help during the heist. Now this, amongst other parts of this series, just keeps up the stereotypical nonsense that all gay dudes are horny for each other and want nothing but to get it on. I don't understand what Moxxie even sees in his perverted a**. What makes no sense about this is that Moxxie isn't the type of guy that just get's horny like that. He's not perverted and doesn't get turned on over the slightest of things, yet he's shown stroking a gun while cleaning it while at the same time feeling pleasure. Chaz is more vulgar than Blitzo, and Moxxie barely tolerates him! So, wtf??

⦁ So in hell, you can pretty much get away with anything illegal with no consequences. Whether it'd be robbing a bank, murdering someone, sexual harassment, etc. So why in THE HELL is there a prison???!!

⦁ Blitzo and Moxxie's meeting makes no sense to me. So #1, I was under the assumption Moxxie met Blitzo after he met and married Millie, but now they're telling us they met in jail right after Chaz abandoned Moxxie. #2, Why is Blitzo quick to let Moxxie join IMP after only saying a few words to him? He didn't even ask him for his name or let him speak or anything - he was just like, "Hey let's bust outta here and you can join my company!" #3 Why is Moxxie even smiling? What has Blitzo said to make him feel better so quickly after basically being dumped?? Does he feel like he's being accepted or something? Like bro, you just met this dude and you didn't even say a word to him.

⦁ Millie's more pissed at Chaz for abandoning Moxxie at one point. Why is Millie getting so angry and quick to kill Chaz over something that happened she wasn't even present for!? She never even met Moxxie around that time. Plus, it's not like that situation is bothering Moxxie now. There was no need for her to get so triggered here. Not saying she's not right to get upset about it, but the sudden rage was a little extra.

  ⦁ If Blitzo and Moxxie were considered friends when they met, then why is Blitzo such an ass to him all the time?? Are we supposed to give Blitzo props for acknowledging or being nice to Moxxie?

⦁ Crimson seems to make a better villain than any other antagonist introduced in this series. Mainly because he has motivation. From what I can gather from this, from Crim's perspective, Moxxie was turning soft because of his wife. It seems that he was extremely pissed off that the mother disagreed with how he raised Moxxie, going as far as to kill her. Granted it was too far and for a petty reason, but it's better than just doing things and having no motivation for them, unlike Stella.

⦁ A priest.... in hell...?

⦁ They only have Moxxie stand up for himself ONCE in this episode, and it's not even enough. His whole life from when he was a kid, he was pushed around by his father and put up with his abuse. The second he meets him after a long time, he's still afraid of him. The only time he puts his foot down is when he says he's not gonna go along with whatever his father plans for him and refuses his commands.... and that was it. It seemed like he was threatening his dad initially, saying how good he was at his job, and not even a second later he gets tased and knocked out, becoming a damsel in distress. That was the most brave we get out of him. If anything, his freakin WIFE was doing the most out of him once more, becoming the man of the relationship as always!! Wouldn't it have been better if Moxxie tried to get out of the knot and fought his dad or Chaz? Maybe he could have helped out Millie and they could make it to where Millie was having difficulties fighting all those gang members.

⦁ Speaking of that; Millie is only useful in battle only when the plot deems it necessary. It kinda seems like she's falling in and out of being a talented fighter. She gets taken down at one point and then the next she'll beat everybody's ass with no sweat! Sure - defeat an entire mob whether it be a mafia or a bunch of agents and take down a whole damn sea monster, but get knocked out by a freakin glass bottle and your leg ruptured by a bear trap...Yeah, I can totally buy that. I feel like they were being a little extra with Millie taking down all those gang members anyway. As I said, she could've had some difficulty fighting all those dudes and Moxxie could've helped her.

⦁ I swear- the women in this show get no respect not just in the show itself, but from the writers. Millie is once again only existing to be just a woman who's married to Moxxie and only gets angry and violent just for Moxxie. There's at least one episode that should've been about her, but it was mostly about her husband and she was just there as his moral support. Literally, the only thing we get outta her in this episode is her extremely hot temper, and all because of Chaz, who she dated at one point. Why is she so upset with Chaz? Why did she hate him so much before she knew about his relationship with Moxxie? What did he do to make her dump him? Or did he dump her? How did she even end up with a guy like him?? We don't know!! We only get to know about Moxxie's past relationship with him and how it faltered, and that is such a letdown! This could've been our chance to explore Millie as a character, even if it's a little flashback of her love life.

  ⦁ I'm not gonna disclude Moxxie's mother in this. Honestly, I don't think it was necessary for her to get killed off just so we could feel more sympathy for Moxxie. We can already see how his father treats him. Can't forget Loona or Blitzo. Not even Millie's parents liked him.

⦁ I'm I the only one who feels like Millie and Moxxie as a couple is boring? Yeah they love each other and would probably die for each other and that's nice n all, but wouldn't it be interesting to have Millie and Moxxie have a slight argument at least once? We all know these two love each other to death. They're sweeter and more loving towards each other than anybody else around them, and that's why it would be interesting to see a quarrel. Sometimes, you can't be a married couple without having an argument or two at one point. Millie clearly felt upset that she was kept in the dark about Moxxie's family. She kept on questioning Moxxie; "Why haven't I met dad before? Are you okay? You know you can tell me anything, right?" And Moxxie would just continuously dodge the questions and not tell her anything. This actually could've been another opportunity for Millie's character. Not that she has to lash out at him, but maybe she could've told him how she felt about him not saying anything about Crimson, his ex, his mother, or how he feeling in general while also having an upset attitude y'know. Maybe Moxxie could've argued back and said he just didn't wanna worry her or something.

  ⦁ I don't think Moxxie and Chaz necessarily have to marry just so Chaz could be a part of the family. If this is just about financial issues then why can't Crim and Chaz come to an agreement or something? How did Crim not know that Chaz was actually not rich?

⦁ I just know people are triggered over the fact that Blitzo slept Chaz and are like "BLITZO NO!! YOU BELONG TO STOLAS!!" or some whiny sh*t like that, even though Stolas and Blitzo aren't even an official couple. When did Blitzo suddenly become an imp version of Stolas? Why was he so quick to get horny and sleep with Chaz and he JUST MET HIM! This might as well be the same situation he had with Stolas, except he's Stolas and Chaz is Blitzo. Not to mention Blitzo ended up sneaking around and snooping through his stuff.

⦁ Why is Blitzo the one to get suspicious of Chaz anyway? He is mostly just there for comic relief and mostly seems more goofy and lovable compared to his behavior in the latest episode. It's kinda a good thing I guess, but I'm not gonna hope for the better of him. I wouldn't say he changed completely since there was a moment he lashed out at Moxxie for a split second. I don't even think he has any motive for trying to get him caught in a lie cuz he doesn't even know him, other than the fact that he wants to be the only one who ruptures Moxxie and Millie's relationship (I'm sorry... are we supposed to be rooting for him still?) If anything, I think it makes more sense if Millie was the one to figure out was Chaz was up to considering her history with him (if there was any. We don't know.... it was never shown!)

⦁ I can't believe Crimson easily let Millie walk away with Moxxie scott free without putting up a fight! Bro killed dozens of people!! He wasn't even afraid to kill his own wife. He even threatened to harm Moxxie and Millie! Why is he backing down so easily!?

Uh, yeah... this certainly wasn't the greatest episode. I think the only thing good about it was Moxxie's childhood. That was certainly interesting (and dark). Apart from that, I was expecting something outta nothing. We could've seen some potential from Millie, but we didn't. This show just can't exist without sex jokes. It's alright if they wanna be funny like that, but at this point, it's just uncomforting. Wondering how they're gonna screw up the next episode.

[in-her-shadow-if]

lol I saw the ask about the ROs seeing MC with a hickey and all I can imagine is Arthur just sitting on the throne going:

Arthur: No it's fine. Totally fine. So glad they've found someone that makes them happy. Totally fine. I'm fine-

YES 1000%

“Your Majesty?”

“Hmm?” Arthur hadn't caught that last bit, his mind too consumed with the idea of MC and another.

"I said a village just got burned down."

"Oh."

[havoc-bloom]

*slams table* Hello again! Hope you're having a great day! So I'm back here with another madcom romantic match but this time... Itsa me!

Madcom me is this! (Made on this: https://picrew.me/image_maker/1473460 )

I made a playlist that's basically me lol: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4UrHlLZeU0w39qGtwMTWrK?si=zlIe-OabTLOyel6lAVDIpg&utm_source=copy-link

I'm 5'4 ish, could be considered a gremlin bc I'm on the chaotic evil side. I'm afab genderfluid and asexual! (Though there's me being constantly thirsty aha-)

The glasses are tinted, my eyesight isn't that bad but I wanna see so.

Here's my personality:

It's either I'm a flirty egotistical asshole or the therapist friend. When you first meet me I'm like, extremely quiet since anxiety. If I like you enough I turn into a leech. I'm annoying you every moment I can, and I like insulting ppl as jokes, though I'll only do it if they're okay with it. I'm neurodivergent so whenever I get overstimulated I'll run around and flail my arms, why? Hot men or music lol.

I also got a buncha scars bc I'm a clumsy idiot :D

Funfacts!:

I make alot of noises, as in squeaks when I'm flustered or surprised, wehs and whas when I'm caught off guard and I would literally meow when I'm simpin(awooga madcom main 4)

My sense of humor is sexual jokes or self-deprication jokes

I am not afraid to hide a body if my bff wants me to 🥰

75% of the time my brain is empty and it's just the dvd logo bouncing around. Which can mean words go in one ear and out the other.

Random storytimes:

"Yea so one time I got lost at the supermarket then the mafia kidnapped me so I'm here now."

"Lmao nice one time my dad left to get milk"

"I wanted a doughnut now I got depression lol"

I got horrible memory and added with my horrible focus it leads into me just bein stupid lol

I'm a simp, Sanford's moobs uwu

I draw too, when I got bored

I hate ants. And when there's too much noise(i.e someone breathin too loudly)

Lmao I'm dyslexic watch me struggle to form sentences

I'm not afraid to kick ass in a skirt, infact it's a power move

Watch me make random dick jokes even tho Ion even have one

I kinda have fangs, 10/10 would chew on things.

Funfact! My love language, but touch me without warning I will freeze up :p

I can be considered the mom friend, if I catch Deimos smokin my foot is up his ass /j. It's the asian genes it turns me into an asian mom, I'll curse you out in vietnamese and cut you fruit later

I have a habit of callin people pet names, like Hun and sweetie, it came from nowhere and me being flirty is just me being friendly but I get crushes too easily. I'll get over it in 3 days tho(i hope)

Have a great day, drink water and take rests!

Hey! Thanks for the ask friend! This one was super fun to write :3

You're paired with...

2BDamned!

Huzzah, a man of quality! Therapist buddies together :)

Scolds you for making self-deprecating jokes then immediately makes a self-deprecating joke and it becomes a cycle.

He knows a little bit of a lot of languages, likes to make sure he's prepared for any situation, so the first time you yell at him in Vietnamese is a ROLLERCOASTER.

He doesn't get nearly enough rest, please get him to sleep even for just a few hours-

Tries his best to help you through the dyslexia, he has it too he's just adapted to it surprisingly well so he'll do his best to aid you with that

"I'm gonna bite it." "No, don't bite it-" *insert you gnawing on a tree branch* "...Why do I bother?"

BOTH OF U + SANFORD TRYNA GET DEIMOS OFF SMOKING BUT HE WON'T STOP >:(

He also hates loud noises, mostly he finds them annoying tho cause he's tryna work

Kills all the ants for u :)

Tends to all your wounds from bumping into stuff and whatnot.

*wrapping your hand w/ a bandage* "What happened this time?" "I slammed my hand in the door..." "Reasonable."

If you call him any sort of pet name he'll melt to the ground like sugar in water, it's adorable :>

Enjoy ur sleep-deprived therapist friend bf :]

[zabdidaddi]

zabdiel de jesús - i’ll wait

A/N: this fic is the first in a new series that @tu-sonrisaaa-te-amooo​ and i are working on and it’s based on the video of joel tryna hug zabdi bc i still can’t get over that lol. so in accordance with our series, joel is the reader’s best friend here and the reader has a crush on zabdiel

pairings: reader x joel pimentel - best friend; zabdiel de jesús - crush

warnings: ok the ending wasn’t how i planned it and it’s lowkey sad / slight angst towards the end maybe? idk but it’s mostly just fluff

word count: 1k

“Zabdi I just want a hug,” Joel whines. The three of you are supposed to be watching a movie but for the past hour or so, you’ve felt as if you were the only one watching it. You and your best friend Joel had been planning a Harry Potter movie marathon for the longest time and he had begged you to invite Zabdiel because Joel claimed that he loved the series as well. Of course, you agreed…mostly because you had a crush on Zabdiel, but you weren’t going to tell Joel that. However, much to your annoyance, the two of them have just been bickering throughout most of the movie.

Sighing, you peel your gaze away from the TV screen and see Joel trying to wrap his arms around Zabdiel who is struggling to wriggle out from his grasp. The sight of the two of them makes you laugh, which draws Joel’s attention to you. “(Y/N) help me pin him down,” he pleads. With an evil grin, you leap up from where you’re sitting on the couch to help Joel.

“Ay, (Y/N) no,” Zabdiel groans, giving both you and Joel an exasperated look while still trying to pry Joel’s arms away. You grab Zabdiel’s wrists to try to stop him from moving and Joel finally manages to wrap his arms around his torso. A moment later, Zabdiel slumps down in his seat in defeat and glares at you.

“It’s Joel’s fault, not mine,” you say innocently, raising your hands in mock surrender. Zabdiel’s eyes narrow at you and suddenly, his hand shoots out and grabs your wrist, pulling you over to him. “Hey!”

“It’s your fault too,” Zabdiel says, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you from running away. You let out an involuntary yelp as his hold on you makes you lose your balance and fall on top of him. Blushing, you try to sit back upright but you feel Joel’s arms go around you as well. 

“Group hug!” Joel smirks mischievously and you roll your eyes. All of a sudden, you realize how close you are to Zabdiel - your face is just inches from his and you’re practically sitting in his lap. Nevertheless, Joel’s arms are wound so tightly around the two of you that you can’t do anything about it anyways. 

“Joel, esto es muy incomodo,” Zabdiel complains. “Para mi y para ella.” Joel pouts but reluctantly lets go a moment later. 

“Fine, I’ll just hug (Y/N) then,” Joel grumbles, but to your surprise, Zabdiel keeps his arm around you.

“No, ella es mía,” He jokes and wraps his other arm around you for good measure. 

“Wow, so neither of my best friends want to give me a hug? Fine,” Joel huffs in mock annoyance. Laughing, you reach your arms out to him but Zabdiel glares at you. 

“No,” Zabdiel says, holding you even tighter to him. “I already said tu eres mía.” His words make your heart flutter, but you just raise your eyebrows and shrug. You settle into a more comfortable position and rest your head against his chest. Once he’s sure that you’re not going to slip away again, his arms around your waist relax a bit. As you snuggle closer to him, you feel a sudden urge to confess your feelings. You’ve liked him for a while now, and this moment just seems to be the perfect time to finally tell him...

“Zabdi?” You whisper, tilting your head up to look at him. When he glances down at you, you feel his heartbeat pick up.

“Hmm?”

Your heart pounds in your chest as his eyes search yours. You open your mouth to speak the words you’ve been waiting to say for the past few years but nothing comes out. The spark in you that flared up dies down just as quickly. What were you thinking? Zabdiel is literally a celebrity and he has probably had more hookups than people you’ve ever met in your life. You’ve had to remind yourself of that countless times. But sometimes, in the fleeting gazes the two of you exchanged, you think - just for a moment - that he might like you back. 

“Nothing,” You say after a while and lay your head back on his chest. There’s nothing more you want than to tell him that you really like him, but you can’t seem to muster up the courage to do so anymore. So once again, you wait for him to tell you that he likes you too. You always do. 

“Estás bien?” He asks gently and you feel the vibrations from his voice. You nod and keep your gaze trained on the movie, ignoring the tears prickling your eyes. Neither of you say anything afterwards but for you, his presence is more than enough. After a few moments, you feel your thoughts start to drift away and your eyes flutter shut. As you drift off into a light sleep, you don’t notice Zabdiel gazing softly at you in his arms. 

“Ooh, you’re whipped,” Joel teases Zabdiel who shushes him. Joel’s expression softens a little as he glances at you, then back at Zabdiel. “She likes you too, you know.” Zabdiel avoids his gaze and gives a slight shake of his head. His heart aches to tell you that he’s in love with you, but with you being Joel’s best friend and living thousands of miles away while they were touring… 

Closing his eyes briefly, Zabdiel tries to disperse the thoughts of being with you. When he opens them, he gazes at you, taking in each of your features one by one as if seeing you for the last time and imprinting them in his mind so that he can picture your face again when he’s away. He swallows the lump in his throat and tears his gaze away from you. Even if you can’t be together, he tells himself, at least you’re here with him now. 

And that would have to be enough. 

[accioscims]

sge characters at hogwarts headcanons

HUFFLEPUFFS 💛🖤

kiko:

- really sweet has like no enemies

- loves going to hogsmeade to forget about her schoolwork and shit 

- almost failed her OWLS if aggie didn’t help her

- best subject is herbology 

- idk i feel like kiko would vibe really well w plants and stuff

- SHES A FUCKING PLANT MOM ‘KAY?

- spends most of her time at school at the library studying/crying 

hort:

- hmm, kinda like sophies personal servant 

- was acc a really good student bc he had to do sophies hw on multiple occasions

- loves history of magic bc sometimes he just sits in the hufflepuff common room and reads the textbooks for hrs to forget abt his problems

- spends a lot of time in the astronomy tower

- will literally spend the whole night gazing at the stars

- looks like a fucking rat the next day but we’re not gonna talk abt it

- everyone was pretty much annoyed of him until,,,

- he beat tedros for hogwarts’ spot in the triwizard tournament

- HORT FUCKING WON THE TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT

- ALL the girls were fucking simps for him for the rest of his 6th and 7th year. even you know who ;)

dot:

- best subject is transfiguration 

- helps ani and hester w their hw

- in exchange hester and ani always come to her defense

- A COVEN IS A COVEN AND WE PROTECT EACH OTHER TIL DEATH

- ani also helps dot w potions bc snape hates dot

- SNAPE YOU’RE BRAVE AND ALL BUT HOW CAN YOU HATE DOT? 

- loves going to honeydukes for sweets

- like literally comes back to school w SUITCASES full of chocolate and all sorts of candy

- fuck she’s always just there and people tend to forget that she’s there so dot always has THE JUICIEST FUCKING news

RAVENCLAWS 💙🤎

chaddick:

- okayy so ik y’all are gonna be screeching at me in the comments bc y’all think chaddick is a gryffindor but here are my reasons that he’s a ravenclaw.

- so first off at school he was just that like quiet boy that was just THERE. okay? like he didn’t exactly show off his abs so much like tedros (fuck off teddy you suck) which i really appreciate ngl

- also chaddicks fucking smart okay? like he figured out japeth’s and rhians plan and everything before sge even KNEW what was going on, chaddick had been stabby stabby. 

- please bitch tedros’ last functioning brain cell couldn’t keep up in qfg and hes a gryffindor. utter disgrace. 

- yeah so chaddick is a ravenclaw. fight me. 

- um chile so ANYWAYS, chaddick is on the quidditch ravenclaw team, as keeper 

- idk i always feel that chaddick gives me those ✨ D E F E N S I V E ✨ vibes so like yuh keeper

- i feel like chaddick would be the captain of the quidditch team bc hes just so agreeable and smOrt and knows wtf to do

- mostly trains, but his best subject is charms 

- prolly cause hes so charming

- oof that was the most horrible pun ever pretend you didn’t see it

- I AM BLINDDD

- why is this so long ugh

anadil:

- she’s like the best at potions even tho she’s not a slytherin

- ^^^ REASONS: okay so like y’all know how ani’s talent is making her rats grow? well like yea but she like makes potions that makes them grow or smth like in the first book, and when hester was like sick, ani made this like potion to help hester get better? um yuh that’s my reason :)

- kinda crap at all other subjects ngl

- best at sneaking out late at night 

- its cause no one expects its her

- knows ALL the secrets of hogwarts and like secret closets/trapdoors/etc 

- also why she never gets caught

agatha:

- fav subject is care of magical creatures

- like y’all know how she got a 1st rank in animal communications? yas qween

- also really good at transfiguration, yanno morgifs and stuff

- acc she’s just hermione 2.0 so like she’s so good at ALL subjects

- studies a LOT and helps sophie in her free time

- besties w kiko and luna lovegood (i can literally see them vibing together so well, and literally no one understanding them)

GRYFFINDORS ❤💛

tedros:

- ugh. hello pretty boy.

- literally harry as in “the chosen one” but he’s more dumb

- convinces other ppl to do his hw

- also on the quidditch team

- tedros is a chaser tho, bc he loves being in the center of all the action 

- best at defense against the dark arts even though he barely studies

- was fucking mad when he didn’t get chosen to participate in the triwizard tournament

- literally lost his shit in honeydukes until the staff gave him and extra large and fluffy hot chocolate, for free. FOR FUCKING FREE WHAT THE FUCK TEDROS

- mhmmmm it tasted really good tho 

- GOODBYE PRETTY BOY

beatrix:

- beatrix has entered the chat

- okayy so kinda like james potter if ygm

- struts around the school w reena 

- not on the quidditch team, but comes to ALL matches to cheer reena on (REATRIX IS HAPPENING Y’ALL) 

- does spells kinda dutifully and stuff so she sounds like hermione

- you can hear her in the gryffindor common room tryna tutor reena

- ‘it’s levi-O-sa, not levio-sAAAR’

- yes bea’s best subject is also charms

reena:

- so best subject is flying (duh)

- not exactly the best at the other magic stuff so bea helps her sometimes

- on the quidditch team

- reena’s a beater, cause i can just see her doing that

- sowwy fred and george

- anyways, LOVES sneaking to the hogwarts kitchen to steal food 

- bea lectures her about how she shouldn’t do that, bc she’s gonna get fat, but reena doesn’t care

- also really wants to help free the house elves but has no idea how to 

SLYTHERINS: 💚🤍

aric:

- hmm, wanted to take over the dueling club from hester but failed

- most students are scared of him lol

- loves going to the shrieking shack for peace and quiet (wtf aric)

- also goes to zonko’s joke shop a lot

- the prankster of the school

- literally makes slytherin lose so many points, but he doesn’t care (hester gets fucking mad)

- not really good at any subjects

- slytherin beater bc i can just see him tryna decapitate hester and sophie 

- not really good at any subjects but defence against the dark arts 

hester:

- qween/founder of the dueling club

- will literally spend her free time at the club dueling and fighting aric

- she always wins (duh)

- not the best at potions, but ani and sophie help her enough so that she doesn’t fail

- actually really good at all subjects, bc she’s like that ‘all round student’

- like THE only reason why slytherin is currently winning the house cup

- likes to sneak out w ani into the forbidden forest 

sophie:

- number one in the entire school in potions

- trash at ALL other subjects 

- why hort and aggie help her sm smh

- BUT POTIONS? oh nah sis, she’s da queen

- like you don’t spend 11 years of your life making cucumber face masks and honey cream scrub for NOTHING

- kinda like draco malfoy 2.0 ygm? like super bad ass, but acc kinda(?) good on the inside 

- struts around the school with her minions lmfao 

- does NOT like flying class

- lost control of her fucking broom and almost fell 

- aggie still has the video (aggie is a muggle so she has a phone woo) 

AND THAT’S IT FOLKS, SEE Y’ALL NEXT TIME <3

[eerythingisshaka]

#Fictober Day 4

“Will that be all?”

(Erik Stevens x Black!OC)

Word Count: 1.6k

Sweet, sweet Friday night has arrived and Rochelle was ready to enjoy it to the fullest.  Having started her new job, the comfort of knowing everything and being the one to call on for help was flushed away and replaced with mounds of company orientations, piles of reading materials to learn programs and regulations, and constantly getting lost coming back from lunch.  She counted her blessings to have moved on from where she was before; she is getting more pay, better benefits and it was closer to home, so she was prepared to take on all of the newbie awkwardness and feeling like a know-nothing to keep her spot.  

But now was the time to unwind for making it through the first week alive, and she knew just how to let loose.  Rochelle got rid of her office attire, showered and put her hair in a protective style before wrapping herself up in her comfy clothes and favorite Proud Family blanket on the couch.  Her studying made her miss out on her fall TV coming back, but luckily God made Hulu a thing.  

Queueing up her list, she took out her hot chips and and sweet tea to dive into the latest drama that had cooked up since last season.

Rochelle’s phone lights up, indicating a text message.  She looks at the screen to read a message from her friend, Ayla.

Hey!  Congrats on the new money, girl!  Drinks on you tonight, let’s hit up karaoke!

Rochelle squirmed with indecisiveness.  It had been a while since her and Ayla got out together but she JUST got comfortable.

Nah, I just set my hair anyway.  But maybe tomorrow?

A few minutes later.  Really?  If you don’t put a scarf on your hair and Erykah Ba-do the damn thing!

Rochelle cackled.  She loved it when she could send an LOL after actually lol’ing.

LOL, ok girl.  I was raised not to give into peer pressure.  I’m putting my foot down on this.  I’m so damn tired, sis.

Ugggghhhh, fine.  But I’m hollering at you tomorrow, so you better come through!

Rochelle tosses her phone on the table, burrowing under her covers once again as she finally calls it as night.

Halfway through the first episode, Rochelle’s stomach started to growl.  She hadn’t made it to the store all week either to reload the fridge so chips, peanut butter, and cereal were mostly all she had to make a meal of.  Rochelle couldn’t fight the hunger pains any longer, but was too settled to go pick anything up.  There was a great restaurant around the corner from her that served the best wings, burgers, fries, and anything else, greasy and Americana for someone to indulge in.

Unfortunately, the restaurant didn’t do online orders so Rochelle stretched her arm out from the warmth of her blanket to pick up her cell phone and call in.  The phone rang and rang and rang.  Must be a busy night, you thought.  The line suddenly opens up.

“Yeah?  After I covered  your fucking shifts for the damn Teyana Taylor concert, you gonna do me like this?!  Pssh, whatever nigga.  Hi, whatchu tryna get?” a man on the other line demands.

Rochelle was taken aback from the unprofessional speech she was hearing.  It wasn’t a snooty restaurant, but usually some old aunty picks up sounding sunny and accommodating.

“Hello?!”  he says, irritated.

“Oh, uh yeah.  Sorry, um I wanted to put in an order with you?”

He chuckles.  “Yeah, well I didn’t think you were calling to ask me how my day was.”  

Rochelle clears her throat.  He had a nice baritone to his voice, you could tell he was a brother at least.  “Well with what I just heard, maybe I should?”

She hears some shuffling on the phone.  “Is this a prank caller or somethin?”

She laughs apologetically.  “No, no!  Sorry, I am hungry so damn hungry, please don’t make me wait for the phone to ring and ring again.”

“Aw, yeah, my bad on that.  Well, it’s really Ralph’s bad.  His wife Sadie usually takes the calls but she is taken a leave right now.  He isn’t a people person though so he will literally ignore the rings until someone gets sick enough to answer.”

Rochelle sits up, turning down her TV.  “And he’s into Teyana Taylor?”  

He laughs genuinely.  “Nah, nah, that was my boy, Phillip.  He was closer to the phone, and act like it’s too much to PICK UP THE PHONE!”  Erik yells, presumably to Phillip.

“Ah ok.  Maybe you’ll earn Employe of the Month, since you’re so damn helpful.”  Rochelle says, smiling to herself, playing with the fuzz on her blanket.

All she hears is background noise before he continues.  “...you cute.  You sound cute too, look, where am I gonna be delivering?”  he asks.  She hears the phone adjust again.

“Oh, you deliver too?  Jack of all trades and shit?”  Rochelle lays back on the couch as she lists off her address, unable to sit still with all this flirting going on.

“Baby, I do it all.  Don’t let nobody tell you different.  What’s your name?”  She gives it to him.  “Niiice.  Ok, whatchu need?  We can’t have you goin hungry on a Friday night.  You get paid, you eat.”

“I heard that!  Ok, so I need the one pound lemon pepper wings, fry them hard…”

He groans on the other line.  “You one of those high maintenance customers, huh?”

Her mouth slacks open.  “Excuse me sir!  What happened to ‘the customer is always right’?”  

She hears him kiss his teeth.  “Shiiiit, these customer is always right about to get a foot up they ass, asking for the moon and shit.  I got you though, don’t trip.  What else?”

Rochelle’s stomach begins to grumble again.  “Uhh, I need a side of fries, and a couple of them honey butter biscuits.  Go head and add a side of potato salad.  And do y’all have the fudge brownies tonight?  Y’all always run out of those-”

“Damn girl!  You eatin, eatin!  I ain’t mad at you, when you hungry, you gotta satisfy that.  Yeah, we got them brownies, don’t even trip.  You need a drink?”  His voice has gotten lower and sounds like he is talking right into the receiver.

His voice tickles her eardrum as Rochelle sits up at his inflection on the word ‘satisfy’.  He sounded so damn fine, she hoped it was real.  

“Nah, that’s ok, you been really helpful.”  She starts to dig in her purse for her wallet.

“Ok, I guess you got juice and shit already.  That’s cool.  Ok, anything else, Ma?”  He says, as you hear paper rustling.

“No, I’m good.  Can’t wait!”  

“Ok, your total is $15.78.  I should be by around...15 minutes.  Think you can wait on me?”  

Rochelle giggles.  “I got no choice!  What’s your name, by the way?”

“It’s Erik.  Glad to be of service to you this evening.  Hold tight.”

As they hang up Rochelle grips her phone in her hands anxiously.  What the hell was all of that?  She has never flirted with a delivery boy, much less while taking the order before seeing him.  But his conversation was so smooth, and his voice so deep, authoritative, but compassionate.  She brushes it off, but that doesn’t stop her from putting on some boy shorts instead of her Looney Tunes pajama bottoms.

The knock at the door jarred Rochelle, making her jump from her concentration on her show.  She gets up, checking herself in the mirror before opening the door with the chain on.

Looking up, she sees her helpful delivery boy, bag in one hand, scratching his beard with the other as he peers as her through the crack in the door.

His almost instantaneous smile at the sight of her made Rochelle flutter, his dimples were even more poignant than the golds in his lower teeth, making her chest cave in.  

“I hope I didn’t keep you too long, ma’am.  Your order still hot though!”  He smirks, raising the bag up.

Rochelle closes the door, working the chain with a speed untapped before.  He didn’t look like no cook she ever seen before.  They were always the biggest flirts with the ashiest appearance, but Erik looked like the Cinderella version.  Opening the door completely, a shared exchange of onceovers says what words can’t.

“So you certainly do deliver.”  Rochelle says, putting on her grown and sexy voice.

Erik shrugs.  “Like I said, I do it all.  I got you.”

“Where my drink then?”  Rochelle looks around him fruitlessly.

Erik holds his hands to his mouth.  “Ohhh, shit!  She got jokes!”

She holds her hand out as he hands the bag to him.  “You got change for a $20?”

He shakes his head, locs hanging in his eyesight a moment.  “Nah, you can hold onto that.”

Rochelle smirked, impressed by his generosity.  “But….won’t you get in trouble for being short or something?”

Erik kisses his teeth, drawing her eyes to his emotive mouth as he talks.  “I’ll just add it as my comped meal for my shift, ain’t nothin.”

Rochelle nods, holding the bag at her side.  “So...I guess that means no tip either….”

Erik bites his lips looking down at the floor.  “Eh, this can be my goodwill for the day.  That’s tip enough.  Will that be all?”

She hoped HIS tip would be enough. Rochelle stammered looking behind her and back at Erik.  “Well, you don’t have to be hungry and broke on account of me.”

Erik’s neck jerks back, as he makes a face.  “Aye, now, I ain’t never broke, hear me!  But I could eat, you know.”

Rochelle nods.  “I got plenty.”

Erik’s eyes travel downward.  “You do...and you my last order for the day, so I just got off…”

Rochelle stepped back from the door, as everything seemed to fall into place, allowing him to come inside.

[imaginesanonymous]

Comment Sections are Battlefields

Request: I like your recent Mark imagines, hope you don't mind if I suggest one from personal experience. You and Mark are streaming Battlefield 1 and your giving historical facts about the setting, maybe the chat and or in game players start giving her crap and start calling her a "history fagget" but Mark sticks up for you. Whenever I play I always get called this and it drives me nuts. I've been studying history for years and this is my reward for educating people.

a/n- This was kinda hard to write bc I don’t know much about online gaming or livestreaming but I did my best, ya know? Shout out to the anon who gave me all kinds of facts about the game so I could actually attempt this request.

“Hello, everybody,” Mark greeted, voice deep. “Today, I am joined by the lovely Y/n and we are going to be livestreaming our adventures in Battlefield 1. As some of you may know, Y/n is a bit of a history buff,” you flexed your arms, “so you might actually learn something on my channel today. We’re going to take turns playing and whoever is not playing will be the commentator. Let’s jump right in!”

Mark loads up the game and you launch right into your little spiel. “Cloth caps were worn in 1918, so that’s accurate,” you say as Mark meanders around the map, trying to figure out the controls while people shoot at him.

You roll your eyes at the camera when Mark gets killed before he can even figure out how to change his weapons. However, after about ten minutes, he has everything figured out and he’s actually starting to do quite well.

You click your tongue. “The MP18 SMG was used by German Stormtroopers, not anyone else. And Zeppelins played more of a recon roll than bombers,” you frown. “The amount of tanks in game is not remotely accurate but I understand why they are part of the game”

“Is anything in this game accurate?” Mark jokes.

“Well, yeah, but it’s more interesting to point out the inaccuracies” you stick your tongue out. “Oh! The body armor seen on support class was experimental and mostly flawed. Any armor in the game would have barely helped in real life if you were getting shot at.”

“That sucks,” Mark says, running around a corner in the trenches only to run into an enemy who shoots him dead. “Agh!”

“Wow, nice one.” You shoot a quick glance toward the comment section to see if anyone is roasting Mark yet and feel your stomach drop.

           Markimoo2876: Who tf is this bitch? Fuck off with the history, I’m here    for Mark!

           Xxxnarutoismahlyfexxx: history faggot

           JackSkepticEyexoxo: lol history fag

You grew quiet. You’d been on a few livestreams with Mark, and yeah, sometimes the viewers were mean, but no one had ever taken the piss out of you while you were talking about what you loved. More comments came rushing in.

           wenowjenfwfno: whos this ugly moron tryna teach us stuff no one cares we want mark

           hufflepuffle1992: y/n or whatever their name is so so annoying

           poopiepie: someone tell that piece of shit to shut the fuck up already god

“Y/n!” Mark all but yells, bringing you back to reality. “Hey, you okay?”

You smile weakly. “No, yeah, I’m good. Is It my turn?”

Mark gives you a quizzical look. He drops the controller without pausing the game and joins you at the computer. It only takes him a second of scanning the comments to realize the flood of people calling you a “history fag” is what’s upsetting you.

“What! Stop calling y/n that term! What is wrong with you people? Does being educated really upset you that much?” He turns to you and grabs you gently by the arm. The anger melts from his face when he sees how upset you really are. “Keep telling me about the game, okay? I like your facts and you should never feel ashamed about talking about what you love.” He returns his attention to the camera. “And if any of you have a problem with that, you’re no fans of mine.”

You both return to your seats, Mark still fuming. He keeps glancing over at you as if to make sure you’re not trying to look at the comments again.

Your voice is quiet and holds no confidence, but you offer up a new piece of information. “The in game stationary MG is a British Maxim, still it can be found in German fortifications which I doubt I need to point out is wrong.”

“Really? That’s so weird!” He goes silent again, waiting for you to speak.

You consider your options. “Lee Enfield rifles have a slower reload in real life. I mean, most guns do but this always sticks out to me.”

“You have a good eye for detail!”

With Mark so obviously ready to defend you, you start to feel better. “Soldiers were often equipped with a rifle and a melee weapon. Only officers had a pistol. And any semi-automatic rifle would jam often in a clean environment, so in a muddy field it would be impressive if it even fired a single shot.”

“Wow! Looks like the developers didn’t do their homework!”

You laugh. “Guess not!”

It goes on like that for the rest of the livestream, you listing off facts and Mark cracking jokes or asking you to explain further. The aggressive comments bother you less and less as you play. All you can think about is how much fun you’re having. By the time you two wrap things up, you’re feeling confident enough to close the session yourself.

“This is Y/n and Mark signing off. I’ll be back to pollute your brains with my scary historical facts, so prepare yourselves for more liberal propaganda in the near future!”

Mark nods in approval after the camera is turned off. “Not bad. Not bad at all.”

[beatconductor-blog]

01/09/2017

catboii >You're gonna sneak into B.C's place without replying since your head hurts too much to look at your phone. He said he wasn't busy but not that he was around just yet. If he's not then you'll send him a message.

beatconductor > You weren't quite there and waiting since you weren't sure if he'd take you up on the offer, but you are on the way, just in case. All while apparently negotiating to be a mob heir's pet which may be one of those things where you're absolutely convinced it's a joke until you're too deep in. Anyway, time to look for Sol.

catboii >Youre curled up on the sofa where you were last time anyway. You attempt to send him a message. Get a pain in your head. Try again. Get distracted by reading someone's vent. You decide to give it another few minutes while waiting for the pain to die down a little. You press the heel of your hand into your eye socket and curl up again. Your ear is probably still bleeding you're gonna get blood on him you're so attractive.

beatconductor > You peek into the lounging room just shortly to see if he's already there and indeed there he is.  He doesn't look too well but you've read as much.  But something looks off...  You also spot suspicious amounts of piss I mean gold colored spots. "Hey what's up." That's a very nonchalant way to say hi to someone that looks like dying. Wait is he...  "Are you dying?" 01/09/2017

catboii Your remaining ear flicks when you hear him, and you lift your head. One of your eyes is closed because of the migraine but you're not actually that bad. Mostly you're just dramatic. "If I was I would've just put myself out of my misery. Do I look that bad?" He probably won't be able to see your ear situ until he's closer since your hair and everything is black. But there's still a little blood on your face. 01/09/2017

beatconductor Well, you are nearer now and notice that there really was something missing. And considering the other ear was still there and the blood on his face... he didn't just lose the furry magic. "Even worse man. Did you fall in a shredder or fight an actual dinosaur." You know he has self-destructive tendencies. You also know he was stopping by someone else's house before and that he went outside and saw -people-. All things considered, you decide that you're not going to inquire unless he wants to share. "Do you plan on bleeding out or do you need help with that." You're not even sure how fresh that wound is anymore, but he wrote about bandages.. That makes a little more sense now.

catboii >"Dinosaur enough. 'Nbd'." You kinda needed to go out and evaluate things after seeing Kain, but there weren't actually any people around there. Just that random planet you told Aria you'd go to instead of doing dumb things. It's empty and quiet and it's turning into your own not-so-little private sanctuary. You pat at your missing aural apparatus and then recoil because that was a bad idea. You're so terrible at looking after yourself, go you. "I'm not allowed to bleed out. But I mean it'll be fine soon. Probably." Taking a look at your hand, you wipe your blood on your top and close your eyes and huddle back up on yourself. "I'll try not to get blood everywhere... Mmm-" you mumble as you hold your arms out to him like a needy baby. 01/09/2017

beatconductor Man, he's a mess, but you already knew that since you first talked with him. It also makes you just a little bit proud that he took up on your offer and came to you in such a state. Damn, how can you deny such a request, look at him. You take off suit and tie, before flopping down next to him. It's enough if only the shirt gets a little bloody, that's easier to replace. "Want me to take a look at it. I'm not a Doc but I know my way around patching up stuff. Learned how to stitch wounds when I was like ten."

catboii >You make a face while you attempt to bury your face in him. Counterproductive central up in here. Although Aria did tell you that you should try accepting people's help when they offer it. Maybe you should just give it a try, could be fun. You groan and attempt to look at him. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I might get off on it." You're trying to keep it light and jokey, but pain. You still try and smile at him cutely anyway. "I'm kidding. Probably." 01/09/2017

beatconductor "Feel free to as long as you keep still long enough till I'm done. I'm kidding. Probably." You push his head a little so you can get a better look at the ear - or lack thereof, to see what you actually need. Fur and hair would make butterfly bandages difficult. Stitches? Or just good old gauze? Oh, and disinfectant, prooobably. You give him a friendly ruffle through his hair (the side with the healthy ear) and wind yourself out of his snuggle to get up to fetch some first aid stuff. "That's gotta hurt. Want anything some painkillers, aspirin, morphine, weed?" You have it all and then some, but hey, lets stick to the actually practical stuff. 01/10/2017

catboii >"Uhuh. I don't think I can stay still and make sure you're done at the same time." It was either that or you were gonna make a joke about something gory. Honestly he shouldn't give you the material and not expect it. You have a dirty mind like a stereotypical human teenager from a TV show in the 90s.

You're pretty sure saying something like 'I deserve the pain it's my own fault' would either make him ask questions, or else it would still just make things a little awkward. Good job you're not gonna say that and instead you're gonna just grumble. Although the migraine isn't your fault and it might be nice if it wasn't quite so bad. You almost wanna make another joke. Isn't sex supposed to be a good painkiller? You need to stop that. You did warn him you were in a mood though and unless he straight up tells you to back off then you're gonna keep pushing. "Mmmaybe something I dunno. Definitely need a prescription for kisses though if I can get that filled out here." 01/10/2017

beatconductor > You'd be disappointed if he didn't make use of any chance to make an inappropriate joke. "You can get some if you behave." You're only half joking. He can have kisses if he wants to, alright. Hell, if you were in a different mood, you'd totally take him up on the painkiller sex thing too.

You make a kissy motion at him, the wink sadly lost behind shades, then slip out of the room and return not much later with a box that was definitely not a properly maintained first aid kit but fuck the law, you know.

You return to the seat next to him, hand him a glass of water and painkiller tablet, then dig through the box for stuff you'll need. "Alright bend over and with that I mean your head." 01/10/2017

catboii >Hell yeah smooches. You're totally down for getting any kind of attention off him, you're so needy. It's not even lowkey but you're not ashamed. You own it.

You attempt a little appreciative purring sound when he hands you the things and you lick the tablet to test how bad it tastes. Then place it between your teeth, take a swig of water and swallow it all. You take a second to comply but then you hand him the glass to put somewhere since you can't use your psionics like this. You're actually a big baby. "You want be to lay across your lap or something. That's not me tryna cuddle up to you for once but that's an added bonus 'lol'." 01/10/2017

beatconductor "Yeah right if you say so sounds totally legit. Well move over." Here's the lap, catboy. You lift the box up so he can get comfortable however he likes.

catboii You know you should get in some position where he can get to your ouchie, so you evaluate for a second. Then decide to lay kind of on your front, so your chest is over his legs, but you turn your head mostly toward him, resting your cheek on your arms at his side. Comfortable. "I could make it really awkward for you instead but you can't  deny you want me to cuddle up to you sooo. .." You shrug. "Win-win." 01/10/2017

beatconductor "I can deny all I want and you can't stop me." You don't though. Instead you focus on his ear, handling it surprisingly careful and mindful, starting out with desinfectant and local anesthetic. Years of having to treat your own wounds have tought you to at least be thorough in this regard. An infected wound isn't fun for anyone. 01/11/2017

catboii >Despite how much you brag about dying alot, it's not actually fun at all. You get some weird mental disconnection for a while when you get a new body. That can be great for passive self destructive reasons but you're really not feeling that lately, so you do actually tend to try and stay in the same body for as long as you can. Unless something comes up like an angel offers you a fight to the death or a demon offers to vore you. You know, the usual. But because of that, you weren't about to hit refresh over something as insignificant as losing some cartiilage. Even if you're 20% less cute now. So his help is appreciated. You would've left it as is and got it messed up if you were left alone.

You shut your eyes and try to think about something else as he does whatever he's doing. You can't help but try to watch though so that doesn't really work out well. You're just very nosey but also like learning things. You've seen plenty of torture techniques, but putting people back together? Not that you remember. Also though you like watching people concentrating on things. Once they're totally immersed in something it's like the Real Them is showing through. You just keep quiet and try not to flinch too much. 01/11/2017

beatconductor Well lucky him. Thinking about something else shouldn't be hard, because you ramble. A lot.

In fact, you have even less of a filter now while focusing on more important things, so you go on how you had to patch up worse after sparring with your Bro as a because surprise swords are not recommended for the hands of a child/teenager and eventually drift off to how he made you help sew stupid dolls and how you could practically sew your own clothes if you cared enough but it's simply easier to buy some because why else would you run around all day selling risky stuff to people that could easily kill you at the drop of a hat.

Hey, you're helping him so he can at least listen and pay attention to you, right? Before you even know, the procedure is done. You make sure all the bandage stuff is sitting snug then give him a nice slapmon the ass because -come on- look ag how he's lying there, how could you ever resist.

"Well now you know where to go if you decide to get rid of the other ear too.“ 01/12/2017

catboii >He is so good. You actually love listening to stories so you won't even make any comments that might make him think twice about just babbling on. It's kinda cute honestly. You could listen to him for hours. You even purr a teeny little bit, one of those attempts at comforting yourself through everything, which works out between that and listening to him. The only thing you're feeling is some weird uncertainty on what he's doing. But that's easy to ignore because you trust him, it's just one of those instincts you guess.

You fake pout at him and swish your tail at him, but then your expression changes. "So if I do it on purpose..." You move as if you were gonna roll off his lap, but just glance around the room. "You got a knife?" Are you kidding? Yes. But if he dared you to do it, would you? Of course. You're an idiot. You're gonna roll back onto his lap properly and kinda snuggle though. You've been in the same position for a bit and now it's comfy. 01/13/2017

beatconductor ((Whoops late, sry)) You raise an eyebrow and smirk, not quite sure how much joking he was. Wouldn't surprise you if he actually meant it. "Sorry no knives only swords." As much as you're curious about his whole respawn deal, you're not all that desperate to watch him mutilate himself. Seems like he's quite comfy there though, and so are you. You stow away the rest of the bandage stuff you don't need anymore and shove the box aside, then reach over to pet and nudge the remaining ear. "I thought you liked them. Changed your mind?" Last Saturday at 1:15 AM

catboii ((pf no worries take ur time peace sign emoji)) >You wouldn't wanna make a mess at his place anyway. Not without his permission at least. You mime holding up a sword to your head, having to wiggle a bit so you can get your arms in the right places. You do a great job of making it look awkward as all fuck. "Hmm. Maybe not right now. I'll keep it in mind though. And thanks." You're surprised you even remembered to thank him at this point.

You settle back onto his lap, you're all cozy and no pain but your brain chemicals are doing things since you've been tampered with, so your mental filter has dropped another few notches. Your ear flicks. "Mhmm I do. My boss doesn't like them though he says I look ridiculous. I'm precious though, right?" You look at him all kitten eyes and cute pouting, your remaining ear flattening. Last Saturday at 3:06 AM

beatconductor "Your boss?" Did he cut it off on his boss' orders? Dave couldn't even blame him. The things he did for people... "Damn way too precious, I'm pretty sure that's gotta be illegal in at least five universes. Shit man I'm so fucked, I'll never be able to look at the doombee again and take him serious and not imagine cat ears on him." You can't help but snort at the mere thought. Last Saturday at 12:45 PM

catboii >He's only your boss on a technicality, but you still call him that. Gotta have some kind of structure in your life, else what are you even doing. You yawn and roll onto your back, making weak grabby hands at him. So small. So precious. "I'm pretty sure you promised me smooches." You do a cute smiley blep at him. Cute+5 stats added. Last Saturday at 5:58 PM

beatconductor Nooo not the blep. The urge to pull the tongue is rising again. "Did I really gee I forgot. Nah joke I know I did alright. You wanna cash that in?" You lean down a little to get into his reach, trying really hard to not make it awkward. Unfortunately, his skin betrayed even the smallest blush. Damnit, this kinda stuff was way easier when drunk or high. Last Sunday at 12:54 AM

catboii >You make a cute smiley face at him again; sans blep this time. How could anyone resist you? "Uhuh. I love smooches." Are you gonna have to go to him to get kisses, because you would, but you feel like making him come to you. Somehow. You're not phased by any casual kinds of affection, it's all the same to you, so you don't get when people are shy about it or whatever. You reach up to grab around his neck and make a faked pathetic attempt at pulling yourself up to him, groaning and pouting at him. Last Monday at 3:50 AM

beatconductor His pseudo attempt was actually adorable and you lean down a little more, then falter and bow into a snort and cackle into his chest. He wasn't a stranger to kissing, well, strangers for whatever reason, but something about the way Sol went at it made it especially endearing and amusing. After a few seconds you manage to catch yourself and give him a peck on his stupid mouth. "How many do I even owe you?" Last Tuesday at 12:09 PM

catboii >Yes good finally. You purr and tighten your grip around his neck so you're kind of snuggling him from afar. "I'm pretty sure over a hundred by now? And for every five seconds you're not kissing me you owe me one more." You smile up at him and rub at the back oh his neck with your thumb. Yesterday at 10:25 PM

beatconductor "Oh shit that's a lot. You know humans are weak as fuck I'll die if you want those all now" You still lean down and give him another three quick kisses over his dumb cheeky face. Trying to match his level of casual affection isn't easy, but there was an attempt. ((Totally forgot that it's my turn here whoops.... we could also wrap this up and make room for something new or ic im's anytime!))

catboii ((we could do lmao, lit would just be snuggling him n like sounting how many smooches he got then probably like fall asleep on him tbh, what a baby))

beatconductor ((oh noooo Dave in the first two minutes: aw Dave later probably: shit i gotta pee how do i get up))

[endura-shroom]

hi it’s New Year’s Eve and all that but I feel like ranting and I know my friends won’t want to read all of it so I’m gonna write it all here to my 0 followers lol!!

Anyway I feel like I should quit my job and get a new one because some of my coworkers make me really uncomfortable LMAO but I don’t want to at the same time because I’m already comfortable working there and I know everyone but UUUGGGGH. First of all, this one guy works there who I’ve seriously known since like 3rd grade (we’re high school seniors rn) In around 8th grade he stared showing like a ton of interest in me and always wanted to take me out and texted me constantly even when I left him on read for days on end (lol) and finally I got him to stop BUT the next year...freshman year of high school he started doing the exact same thing like he just texted me out of nowhere tryna date me and ofc I still wasn’t interested (now seems like a good time 2 mention I’m a lesbian) so I just had to keep awkwardly rejecting him and it was so weird for a long time.

So now we work together and we have for a while and honestly, he’s a pretty nice guy and can be funny and it’s not awful working with him but he’ll occasionally make comments about like him wanting to date me or fuck me kr whatever and it’s so awful like I’m just trying to do my job not get put in awkward situations can you please not!!! But very recently it got worse for some reason and his comments/“jokes” come more frequently and he gets really close to me physically for no reason. And just yesterday he made a joke about coming to my house at night and raping me and just...thought I’d find it funny.....yeah great joke I’m not uncomfortable or scared or anything...really. Anyway. Since I’ve known him for a while I know (well, 98% sure) it’s only jokes and while he still might be interested in me he’d never actually like act on the terrible stuff he’s saying. But I’m only recently getting to realize that that really doesn’t make it ok??? At all??? So I don’t know what to do :/ and I should really tell him I’m gay because I get the feeling he’d back off but 1. What if he doesn’t? And 2. I really don’t want to put myself to my entire workplace which I know would happen if I told him....

But hey!!! That’s not the only thing lmao. I’m also starting to get uncomfy around one of the shift leaders... She’s mostly really kind and helpful to me and never really talks about “inappropriate” stuff lol, she’ll even come up to me and say stuff like “those boys aren’t bugging you too much, right? Let me know if you want me to speak to them.” But she is apparently super gross to everyone else, like making gross comments and openly wanting her secret Santa gift to be a vibrator (lol jfc??) and I was told by a different shift lead just the other day that supposedly she and her husband are waiting until I turn 18 (1.5 months from now) to ask me if I want a threesome with them...HELLO, NO????? I know that prob sounds far fetched lol but hearing how she acts around everyone when I’m not there makes it seem pretty likely and I just wanna puke lol. What’s worse is I can’t go to HR about it because she’s....literally HR.....what the fuck does one do when HR, the place you’re supposed to go when shit like this happens, is the one doing the harassing?????? God

After typing all that shit out I realize it sounds really really bad and I probably shouldn’t put up with it. Especially if this is people “holding back” since I’m 17 right now. But finding a new job would be such a hassle and I get anxious and ugh idk. I’ll probably look into it but I just don’t know what to do :’)!!!

[simplisticspace]

Emma’s Party

-told Percy I would get with him as if his ego wasn’t big enough already and then he got annoy about it and I wish I hadn’t said it lol

-as soon as as put her jumper on under her dungarees she looked so fit lmao I kept telling her how pretty she looked and just hugged her a lot and then tried her to get off w Percy because she really likes some douchbag player

-gave Tom H relationship advice and Percy relationship advice because they both like someone who they’re Friends with and who kinda know they like them and can’t help it and didn’t know what to do I mean I was tryna get off with them and then ended up telling them that either 1)tell the person and just show them that you like them 2)make them jelly and realise they actually want to be with you 3)get over them by just distracting yourself w other people (bad success rate for me there they preferred option 1 sad times)

-kinda tried to get off with Blaise and I was extremely close to his face and he was asking me questions and I was so obviously not there to talk and I’m glad we kinda both just left it because I would have regretted that in the morning lmao could have been interesting

-met our new fave guy Alexis who we will probs never see again but looked like Anthony and Adam mixed together and I ruffled his hair twice and he told me to stop touching him I was just being nice he was actually sweet and innocent I can’t ruin that

-spend half the evening with Marta and Erin and Iris a bit n Charlotte a bit and 100% I was being a massive scrape but I literally couldn’t see any of my other friends like where were they I only saw the annoying people ???? But anyway they had fags, Erin’s fucking fancy ass vape, rum and wine and just tucked away behind the maze so it was quite nice

-attempted to blow vape rings and I think I just looked like a fish that breathed smoke

-I only technically drank one cider but I added vodka, wine, rum, absinthe and peache schnapps to it all night yikes

-Erin asked me something along that lines of what the deal with that (about my sexuality) so I lay upside down and explained the seasonal homosexuality theory and how I was 70% straight (lies it’s like 60%) except in summer and she was like oh okay right but was like fair enough and I think I wa really close to her face and realised and was like shit you’re closer than I thought because I had zero depth of field

-I walked her to her car just to be nice because she had some problem at home that her dad rang her about I mean she seemed fine but idk I was like we don’t talk very much but it was nice to see you and said yeah we should talk more then I just shouted at her car as she was getting in YEAR TWELVE IN THE SIXTH FORM CENTRE (lord help me)

-I told her that her Mum was a milf and that her boyfriend was rich and that I knew who her friend who she said she was going on holiday with was because I see her in her Instagram (stalker) and then at one point she played a song her manager sent her to see if she liked it and it wasn’t bad it was slightly rappy but not actual rap i don’t think but I just kinda wa Amy ANNOYING DRUNK OVERBEARING SELF and just put my head right to her phone to listen to it and was just rambling another god knows what and she was tryna listen and so was someone else

-I think I joked to someone that I wanked either 2/3 a day or a week I can’t remember but everyone just looked at me like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

-had a rant about Henry w marta n Erin n za and thought I was such a lad and went up to him and was like don’t be a dick or something like that and sat down again and was like I just told him not to be a dick (like I hate that I have the ability to open my mouth when I’m drunk around people who seen the usual people I get drunk around because all my close friends are used to it)

-okay this is the worst bit fucking Callum my last resort for a get started frickin (badly may I add) dryhumping me after making out for a bit and bit my neck (lmao what a little white boy he left no marks) and kept tryna put his hands in my trousers and I kept moving them and then he put them under my bra and he was annoying good at it (ew ew ew but I can’t help it :(( yikes) then like I teased his pant line ya know gotta have some fun and he pulls and josh guard and puts my left (not my right for once !) hand on his dick and it was 1) and awkward angle because he had jeans it was like a hard on but horizontally urgh and 2)idk if he came because I could see or do it well from that angle and my arm hurt but he eventually moved my hand and then tried to have a go on me and I just said ‘unless you like blood’ and walked off

-the most surprising things about this ^ is that 1)he pushed me to the ground and topped mostly this time like that never happens to me and 2) sonic was hardly more than a whisper I think I’ve improved

-played table tennis in the morn with various people after cleaning up which was nice because sleeping was uncomfortable and I was also very thirsty but couldn’t really drink much water because i felt grim

-made full English brunch with the gals and danced to music, had lots of tea, looked through the scrapbook we made emma, danced to banging tunes, cleared and washed up everything then watched a movie !! It was so cute and I love doing it in Emma’s kitchen and house because it’s just us and it’s a big space we all like just live as a unit for a while every once in a while when we meet up and I love it sm

-I got a free bottle of Smirnoff ice that I found in the morning out of it nice

-sad tho because that’s the last time I’ll see most people for a month and I ended on such a high then I’m off grid for a month and I’m going to miss everyone even people not at the party just because it made me so happy about all the people in my life

-erin is hold my thigh in one of the photos I only just realised LMAO

[whitbee21]

ha!!

amwriting once again

this time its not about vell although I need to go back and vent about him as well.

I'm gonna attempt to write out my feelings to Johnathan Bagot as they say this type of shit helps and works

soooooo...JB Johnatha, Nathaniel,, BAgot!! wassup home skillet ohhh theres so much I hav e to say.. ive sent u these type of messages many times before but this one is gonna be a little different I guess..it wont be jus about u and all the good things u make me feel. no... this will actually include all the fuck shit u do which whether u believe it or not is a lot... theres a reason I call u a fuck nigga when describing u sometimes because in all honesty that's what u are and you said that u know that.. so I dnt get why u get mad sometimes when I say that... anyways.. umm idk,. I wonder when we reached the first point of me needing to cut u off.. I know recently the shit has been more magnified and its to the point where its like mk whit why tf is u still fuckin with this nigga.. what really pisses me off is that when I confront u on yo bullshit u dnt really care.. u say shit like ok or u knew that about me already..most fucked up shit u do I don't even acknowledge it cuz I know u dnt care to stop or change the way your actions affect other people. I been told u this but its funny and selfish of u to want somebody who accept u for who u are when 1.  u treat people like shit and most of the times u try to take  advantage of shit.. and don't say u dnt cuz u fuckin  do.. if u want one burrito and u see I would buy it for u you then ask for 2. You the one tht let me know I'm too passive and people take advantage of me cuz I'm too nice... so why would u make me feel the same way?

ohhhhhhhhhhhh Johnathan ive spent wayyyy too much money on yu and have done shit for u I know never crossed ya mind about doin for me. Which is cool. 75% of the time u don’t ask.. its usually just me being stupidly nice because and like and care for u.

Johnathan. You always joke about u findin ya girl and how im not for u cuz im for other niggas.. but nigga if that was true would I still be fwu .. nigga you the longest person I fw since I left the father of my child.. like I fwu… more than anything on a friend level.. like honestly Johnathan if it was strictly bout sex I would’ve cut u off at the beginning of the year…. Ive asked u since day 1 if I didn’t fuck u could we be friends and u said yea u were like im not here for that blah blah I can control myself ive had pussy before bullshit. Now that you’ve had it more than enough times and im tired of this fuckin situation we in and im wanting to be strictly friends now u dnt know if u would still wanna be my friend. Nigga what does pussy have to do with me and my friendship it pisses me off u act like u care when u want to when we all know that u really dnt. Like how u always wanna make slick comments about me bein with the next nigga but nigga u with the next bitch and u dnt see me bringin it up

Whats the point?? We both know/knew wassup why dry bring up shit and act like it’s a problem when  nigga u got the same thing goin likeeeeeeeeee how that work.. u sayin I dnt txt u cuz im with another nigga while im standing next to your dresser with eyelashes and hoop earrings lmfaooo like please stop

And honestly that’s what did it for me

The eyelashes lmaaaoo like nigga no hell no tffffff nooo!!!

Im over here really tryna keep u as a friend with my pussy when hell im sure yu getting it elsewhere ..im not trippin on that by all means get yours bt what pisses me off Is that u tellin me we cant be friends if ion wanna fuck like NIGGA IM NOT THE ONLY BITCH U FUCKIN GTFOH WITH THAT SHIT

Straight bullshit I swear

Do you think u deserve to go to the big sean concert

Like if I was you and you were me,,

If u were my friend and I told u the backstory of me and u

How u pick and choose when u wanna tlk to me

And how sometimes you’re mean to me for no fuckin reason

And how tbh u wouldn’t be fwm if I didn’t fwu (u say you’ve fucked w.me despite us not havin sex but nigga u still got head, I was comin over to smoke,drink,take u to movies.. u were just waiting til we fucked again)

Would u be like yea whit get him those tickets for his birthday even though on the day of he might not be appreciative of shit til he see the tickets.

 Like wtfffffffffffff I knew I would feel like a dummy if/when I bought the tickets buutttttt

Me fwu over rode those feelings

Im like fuck it im goin to the big sean concert with my nigga bagot we gone be lit

Ha!!!! We gone be lit alright..so lit tht I’ll mostly likely come to yo crib..fuck u and leave in the am

Unfortunately I think this is it

Even though I really dnt want it to be

Its bout the best thing I can do for myself u make me feel a way I shouldn’t about myself its mostly cuz of the way you’ve treated/ acted towards me

And for u if I cant give specific examples then I must be lyin and all I have to sat to tht is FUCK THAT

Fck that shit bro u can sit up here and like u the coolest most laid back person there is

But in all actuality you’re a selfish asshole

Who couldn’t even be true to a girl who didn’t want SHIT from u but to kick it

Nigga I was comfortably fine with not being ya girl … whatever

But for u to bullshit on a friendship that you don’t even put nothing into??

Yeeaaa naaa.. miss me with the shits once again I know u dnt care and u probably aint read the whole thing

I just wanted u to know I fwu and despite me not fwu no more u gone always be remembered as my nigga cuz we had some good times together…….. from me being able to call and talk on ft 90% of the time to me callin u cryin cuz im an emotional doofus lmaooo

But naa all In all Johnathan  I love you and Im glad we got to hang and enjoy eachothers company

Who knows maybe later in life you’ll stop being a douche and be a true friend but if not i wish u all the best in everything u do. I know u gonna get it done by any means necessary..

 Sincerely,

Queen head ass lmao

p.s. I know this is the most head ass thing I could do but hey its wht I do lol