#mostly it just means its not all japanese LOL

[corneille-moisie]

i was tagged by @im-sometimes-sparkles to spell my url with song titles and did not want to reblog the long reblog chain (you can reblog this one or make your own, either's fine by me :) )

candis - sukekiyo

obscure - dir en grey (cw for gore and other gross stuff, just in case)

rink - blam honey

nas ne dagoniat - tatu (not gonna get us works too :D)

energize me - after forever

inner universe - hora

l'horloge - chanton l'amour

last hallucination - schwarz stein

even in death - evanescence

-

maze - velvet eden

ophelia - kaya

if i could turn back time - cher

senzafine - lacuna coil

iidk - vidoll

edema ruh - nightwish

im tagging @moonjaehwa, @ans-main, @technicontrastron, @kurumeki, @jade-curtiss because im curious but you're under no obligation to actually do it lol :3

eta : no need to link everything, im just extra like that ^^

and if you were not tagged and wanna do it, go ahead, do it !! (tag me though, i wanna see 👀 !!)

[osarina]

ᡣ𐭩 CHIVALRY FELL ON ITS SWORD

FEATURING: dazai osamu

SUMMARY: history always repeats itself. dazai is captured, you're facing enemies on all fronts, and it's only a matter of time before you hit your breaking point. you can't let things turn out the same way they did two years ago. you can't—you'll do whatever it takes.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: happy friday my peeps, i hope your week has been good. ive been looking forward to this chapter for sooooo long so i hope you enjoy ;) unfortunately, there will be no wykyk update this week (i mean it this time), i've fallen behind in civzai and really need to focus on it. reblogs and comments greatly appreciated as always!! ENJOY!

GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, port mafia executive!reader, civilian!dazai, dazai's struggles w suicide & sh, reader partakes in mafia business, dazai isn't dazai without a bit of obsessiveness and possessiveness (the possessiveness doesn't come til later but the obsessiveness starts from day 0).

CHAPTER SPECIFIC WARNINGS: hardly edited. depictions of psychological torture (commit by reader), both reader and dazai are wildly unstable, mori is a bit of a cunt LOL, a bit of legal proceedings in the beginning but i didn't want to deep dive into japanese court proceedings so i just based it mostly off us court proceedings, but again, not entirely accurate because i'm not in that field and didn't feel like doing intense research.

ANOTHER THING TO NOTE: our lovely reader IS A MAFIA EXECUTIVE !! as a port mafia executive, she does port mafia things, this will become very apparent in thIS chapter and the rest of the upcoming chapters. it might be a bit jarring to read but it is something to keep in mind. additionally, she is FLAWED. i wanted to add this warning just to give you all a bit of a heads up.

SEE: WASTELAND, BABY! SERIES MASTERLIST

“... Your Honor, I have to object to counsel’s petition for bail, the defendant…”

“... If I may, Your Honor, we don’t even know how this footage was obtained and the prosecution has not acknowledged any of our requests to ensure that this is reliable. For all we know, this footage is edited or illegally obtained. It would be a disgrace to our justice system if we were to keep the defendant detained with no bail…”

“... not only a flight risk, but we’re risking witness and evidence tampering. Respectfully, this isn’t an unarmed robbery the defendant is being accused of, Your Honor, this woman is a threat to public safety, she’s being charged with connection to the most dangerous criminal organization in the Eastern Hemisphere, and not just as any ordinary member, but as an executive. I have to insist-”

“Your Honor, the defendant shouldn’t have even been brought into custody considering all current evidence might not be admissible. And the prosecution cannot sit here making baseless claims of risk when the only supporting evidence is inadmissible. I don’t even understand why I have to sit here and argue this.”

“Counsel seems to think-”

“Enough. Order. I’ll sustain the ob-”

“Your Honor… I don’t mean to interrupt but you may want to see this before…”

“What is it, Hasegawa-san?”

“... I see, very well. The defense’s petition for bail is granted. Bail will be set at one hundred and fifty million yen, bond at thirty million yen. The next hearing will be set for two weeks out, I trust that gives the prosecution enough time to prove the legitimacy of the evidence…”

“Don’t look at any of the cameras.”

“No shit,” you mutter as your attorney, Tachibana, leads you from the courthouse to where a car is waiting to pick you up. 

There are so many flashing lights and microphones in your face that you can hardly see a few steps in front of you. So many people talking that each question melds into the next. You couldn’t entertain the media even if you wanted to with them all talking over each other to shout at you. Your head hurts and the bright lights aren’t helping—you grimace as you turn your head to the side but you’re only met with another face full of cameras and microphones.

“Back up,” a familiar voice booms and at once, the tension in your body dissipates as Iceman shoulders his way through the crowd toward you. The man sneers at a paparazzo who tries to cut him off and all but knocks him out of the way to reach forward and grab your wrist, yanking you toward him.

He ushers Tachibana forward and keeps you tucked under his arm as he guides the two of you to the black car. It’s only when you’re inside and the door is shut behind you, that you can finally relax, but it’s only for a split second before Albatross is bursting into laughter in the front seat before you’ve even sat down yourself.

“You look ugly as hell in a prison uniform,” he wheezes, having the audacity to point at you as he turns around to look at you. “God, I never thought this day would come. Someone take a fucking picture.”

“Fuck off,” you snap at him, which only makes him laugh harder.

“The entire world has pictures at this point,” Doc says dryly, looking over you once and frowning at the bruises on your wrists where the cuffs had been tightened too much. He clicks his tongue as he runs his finger across them as you pass by him before sighing, “They really waited as long as they legally could for your arraignment, didn’t they?” 

 Two whole days. You haven’t eaten because you had to watch the prison guard spit in your food before passing it over to you—evidently, his brother was killed by the Port Mafia and he decided to take that out on you, which was nice. So as if you weren’t dealing with enough bullshit, you haven’t properly slept or eaten in two days.

More than that, you’ve had no confirmation concerning Dazai’s status in two days. 

That alone has left you with no appetite and no desire to sleep anyway. You’ve been restless trying to figure what to do if Klaus wasn’t able to get Dazai away from the Guild. That is, restless, and increasingly more violent and angry. You’ve never been someone prone to choose violence as the answer, but you think the only thing that will satisfy you now is the entire organization eviscerated. Not only have they gotten you thrown in prison, but they have Dazai.

You finally take a seat next to Chuuya. He’s stuffed in the back corner of the limo so that no unsavory eyes could catch sight of him when Iceman ushered you and Tachibana into the car. As soon as you take a seat next to him, he wraps an arm around your shoulder and squeezes your bicep. You almost want to collapse into him—you’re so tired and hungry and just so mentally and physically drained that all you want to do is sleep, but you know you can’t, not until you have Dazai back.

Just as you’re about to look up at Klaus and ask him how things went, Piano Man speaks up, addressing Tachibana. “How are things looking?”

The man grimaces. “Not good. They could hold her liable for all of the crimes attributed to the Port Mafia if the jury finds the footage as proof of her affiliation,” Tachibana says. “The last time they had a Yakuza boss on trial, they had him sentenced to death and he was only being held vicariously liable for one murder and three assaults. They have her down for six and all of the other crimes they’ve been gathering as evidence against the Port Mafia just in case they were given an opportunity like this. If-”

“Why are we talking about a jury trial?” you ask tightly, giving Tachibana a cool look from the corner of your eye. “Get the charges dropped.”

A frustrated expression crosses Tachibana’s face. “But-”

“No buts, do your goddamn job and get this dismissed,” you tell him before turning your attention to Klaus. “What’s the situation with the journalists?” 

Klaus looks mighty proud of himself as he raises his chin. “They’re dead. Do you want to hear how I did it? It was quite ingenious if I do say so myself.”

He looks excited to tell you, eyes gleaming and smiling wide, so even though you should just drill him for information about Ui and Dazai, you decide to entertain him and nod. 

“Tell me,” you say, hoping at least hearing that those irritating pests got what they deserved is enough to ease the seemingly insatiable bloodlust the past few days has caused you before you get back to headquarters and have to deal with Ace.

Klaus is clearly trying to hold back a laugh as he prepares to tell you. From the way Atsushi looks a bit green next to him, you know whatever he’s about to tell you is going to be gross.

“They’re called the Ivory Eagle, right?” he says rhetorically, blue eyes dancing as he stares directly at you, waiting for you to nod again. When you do, he continues, “You see, when I was back in Europe with the Pale Flame, we learned a lot about ancient torture and execution methods. Nabakov had the trafficked ability users fight in rings, y’know, gladiator style—the winner of the fight would pick a method to punish the loser with in front of everyone. The vikings had a ritual execution method called the blood eagle, so I thought it would be funny ‘cause y’know, the name? Ivory Eagle, blood eagle? They can keep their theme even in death!” 

“I should not be hearing this,” Tachibana sighs, covering his ears and closing his eyes.

You snort. “May they soar to greater heights,” you mock their slogan and Klaus lets out a loud bark of laughter, bouncing in his seat in excitement.

“I knew you would get it, I’m so funny.” he laughs, nudging Atsushi hard, but the weretiger only looks like he’s about to start crying, so Klaus looks back at you, teeth glimmering as he smiles widely.

“What happened with Ui?” you ask, glancing down to see Chuuya passing you a bottle of water. You give him a grateful look before redirecting your attention back to your subordinates. “And where’s Akutagawa?” 

“That ugly journalist confirmed they worked with the Guild to get the footage from your boyfriend,” Klaus says, and even though you knew this, it still makes you feel sick. “... I went by his apartment. It was totally trashed, there was blood on the sidewalk. I’ve spent the past two days trying to hunt down the Guild but I can’t find them anywhere. I was planning on going to the Armed Detective Agency later today to get that one detective to tell me where they are. Figured they wouldn’t be opposed to helping considering they’re getting the shit end of the stick with the Guild too, I heard two of them were trapped for days in an interdimensional space before they were able to get them out.”

“Akutagawa and Kyouka-chan are out doing rounds around the city. Kyouka-chan found one of the lower-ranked Guild members wandering around the city, she’s hoping that she’ll lead her back to their base,” Atsushi adds, answering your second question.

You let out a heavy sigh, looking down at your lap. Apartment trashed. Blood. The water you had just sipped threatens to come back up, you feel Chuuya squeeze your bicep again to try to comfort you, but you don’t care for comfort, you only want Dazai. You want him back in your apartment, back in your arms, you want him safe, you want him.

You want him.

“We’ll get him,” Chuuya promises like he can hear your thoughts. You suppose it’s probably written all over your face. “I’ll do whatever it takes, okay? I won’t let the fucking Guild take him from you.”

He’s spent two days with them. God knows what they’ve done to him to try to get information about you—the thought makes your skin crawl, your chest weighs with guilt. You brought him into this life knowing this risk and you still couldn’t protect him. You need to do something, you need to-

“Chuuya,” you say quietly, “can I borrow your phone?” 

Chuuya’s brows furrow but he nods, passing his phone over to you. You ignore the way your fingers tremble as you type in a familiar number and press the phone to your ear, you wait a few anxious seconds for the person on the other line to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Leo,” you breathe out. “Are you still in New York?”

“You’re okay,” Leo Tolstoy sighs, the relief in his voice palpable. “I saw the news. I figured they wouldn’t be able to keep you locked up long. I’m still here, yeah, I have a flight to Tokyo in an hour. I just had to finish up-”

“Cancel it,” you say immediately, fingers digging into the thin pants you’re wearing. “I need to call in a favor.”

“Hit me with it,” he tells you. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

Good, you think, lips curving up as you tell Tolstoy your plan. 

There’s only one way to force Fitzgerald into giving you Dazai back, and you’re willing to go to any lengths to do it.

“You’re awake,” an unfamiliar voice notes just as Dazai starts stirring awake. “Good.”

He’s been in and out of consciousness for two days now—awake for a few hours, asleep for double that. He almost wishes that the blow to the head had killed him, because each time he wakes up, he’s questioned sharply about you and he’s tired of it. The first two days of captivity, when Dazai was awake, he spent most of his time staring at the ceiling, your words ringing through his head and your twisted expression plain as day. He’s recounted every word of his conversation with you before he fled, he’s noted every place where he messed up and could have done something different to avoid this, he’s felt so numb that he would almost prefer pain and he’s felt so much regret that it did physically pain him.

Now, he’s just irritated. 

Irritated and tired and hungry and most of all, he misses you. Misses you so much that you’re the only thing he can think of clearly. Misses you so much that it makes him sick. Misses you so much that he’s started casting up prayers to gods he doesn’t believe him because he just wants the chance to see your face again.

Thus far, he’s been able to evade answering any questions, but he has a feeling it’s only a matter of time before they start taking more extreme measures to get the information out of him, and Dazai has never been one to deal well with pain. He doubts he’ll be able to get away with lying to throw them off trail for long.

“Nope,” he says tiredly, rolling over onto his side to turn his back on the man. “Still sleeping, unfortunately.”

Dazai doesn’t know who this one is. 

He’s gotten used to the other two over the past forty-eight hours—the redhead is called Mark Twain, a high-ranking member of the Guild whose preferred form of torture is casual conversation. It’s predictable and Dazai, naturally, doesn’t fall for it, but it doesn’t stop him from trying. He comes into the cell with food and water that Dazai refuses to touch and talks to Dazai from the moment he wakes up to the moment he passes back out. He asks about you and the Port Mafia without actually asking about you and the Port Mafia, talks about his own woman back home and bitches about his work with the Guild, seeing if Dazai will chime in with his own commentary and grievances.

Dazai doesn’t, of course—there’s not much he can say about the Port Mafia anyway, the things you’d talked about with him are irrelevant at this point, and Dazai certainly is not going to tell Twain anything about you. He knows that the Guild must be looking for information on your ability and Dazai will be damned if he lets anything about it slip. The most he’ll make is snide comments, hoping to piss Twain off enough to leave, but then he has to deal with the other man, James, who is far less pleasant to deal with. Dazai can hardly stand the sight of him and he isn’t sure if it’s because 1) he’s just unappealing to look at, 2) his head injury, or 3) he still has a grudge over the head injury. 

He thinks maybe it might be all of the above. 

Regardless, the voice of the new arrival is neither Twain’s nor James’s, which means he has a new yet equally undesired visitor. Dazai, naturally, is wary of the unknown. He’d overheard Twain and James talking about Francis getting involved and he remembers that you mentioned the leader of the Guild’s name is Francis Fitzgerald. He has a distinct suspicion that this must be him and Dazai’s only thought is that this definitely doesn’t bode well for him.

“Mister Dazai, please, you need not make this difficult on yourself,” Fitzgerald sighs. “We already have all of the information we need anyway. We want to help you.”

What.

Dazai’s cautious now as he sits up to face Fitzgerald, mind racing as he tries to figure out what exactly he means by ‘we have all of the information we need.’ Dazai has been so careful not to let anything slip—even when he was half delirious from his head wound, he bit his tongue. He didn’t utter a single thing until he was certain that his brain was functioning well enough for him to carefully choose each word he spoke. 

There’s no way that they managed to get anything from what he’d said.

The blonde man sitting on the opposite side of the room is dressed in a fancy suit and wears a watch that probably costs more than anything Dazai has ever owned in his life. He looks unusually earnest as he leans forward, elbows on his knees as observes Dazai. Dazai thinks that he’s decently good at reading people, and he can’t find a hint of deception in Fitzgerald’s face, which leaves Dazai feeling distinctly unnerved, unable to predict what’s about to happen to him.

“I find that hard to believe when your subordinate bashed my head in two days ago,” Dazai replies, keeping his voice light but watching Fitzgerald carefully. 

“My friend, Henry, is quite excitable,” Fitzgerald sighs, faux-remorse dripping from his tone. “I apologize for him, I was very clear that you weren’t to be injured.”

That doesn’t really help Dazai at all. He needs to figure out how exactly he’s going to press Fitzgerald and figure out what he learned from Dazai. Luckily, he doesn’t have to say much at all because Fitzgerald takes it upon himself to continue talking.

“There were some pieces of information I kept to myself during our endeavor here in Yokohama,” Fitzgerald says. “There are too many… rats scuttering around the sewers. It’s hard to tell who’s listening at any given time. Everyone has their own agendas, and there’s just some information that’s too valuable to risk falling into anyone’s hands but your own. Even supposed allies’.”

Rats. Allies. Agendas. Dazai’s mind races as he notes it all down to tell you as soon as you get him out of here. He doesn’t respond to Fitzgerald’s words, waiting for him to make the mistake of continuing his little monologue so he can have more information to report back to you. From what he’s able to piece together, there’s more than just Fitzgerald and the Guild at work here, but you haven’t mentioned any other organizations besides them, which makes him antsy because if you don’t know that this is multiple organizations working together against the Port Mafia… 

You could be in danger.

“I was already made aware of her ability,” Fitzgerald says, watching Dazai for a reaction. He’s careful not to give one, but his words make Dazai’s skin crawl. You’d said that your ability was the most well-guarded secret in the Port Mafia. That only the upper echelon was aware of it. 

So how?

The traitor.

Dazai’s throat swells and it’s much harder to keep his distressed emotions off of his face when he remembers the tip-off that Professor Ui had received about a situation happening at the ports on Shinko, remembers that he alluded to someone within the Port Mafia’s inner circle being the informant, remembers that in his meltdown, he never even told you.

Shit.

“Henry, he is also an ability user,” Fitzgerald continues. Dazai is grateful that he seemingly doesn’t notice his increasing panic. “What Maisie Knew, an ability that notifies him when somebody around him is lying. My intention in bringing you here was not to interrogate you, but to find out if you knew the extent of the manipulation happening around you.”

Dazai blinks slowly, letting the words process through his head. An ability that notifies him when somebody around him is lying… but would that even work on Dazai? You tried to use your ability on him with and without touch and it didn’t affect him, so this one shouldn’t either. And if he wasn’t notifying him when Dazai was lying about knowing nothing about your ability… 

“Henry told me that you were telling the truth when they asked you about your knowledge of her ability,” Fitzgerald says, and Dazai almost hates the pity thinly veiled behind the man’s eyes. He doesn’t like anyone thinking that he doesn’t know something about you, but he lets this slide because it might just work in his favor. “Her ability is a form of mental manipulation. She influences the emotions of people around her to trust and adore her. What you felt for that girl was nothing more than what she wanted you to feel—she’s spent months shaping your mind to make you believe you care for her so that in a situation like this, you would choose to protect her even at the cost of your own life.”

The surprise that shifts across Dazai’s face is genuine—not because of the revelation of your ability like Fitzgerald believes—but because Fitzgerald does know your ability, and he knows it in an alarming amount of detail. He wishes he had some way of contacting you now, but he needs to focus now on figuring out how he’s going to play this.

They didn’t kidnap him to interrogate him. They kidnapped him to try to make him willingly turn against you by revealing all of your ‘manipulations’ in an effort to rattle you into making a mistake. A decent plan, honestly, and if Dazai were anyone but Dazai, it might’ve worked… but Dazai is Dazai—he’s never been affected by your ability, or Fitzgerald’s subordinate’s, or any ability for that matter, and he would rather die than turn against you.

But… would it be better to make Fitzgerald think that he has turned against you? It would be safer for him, surely. If the man thought Dazai was swayed to his side, he might even have a chance to escape… but it could also throw you off if Fitzgerald tells you, and Dazai isn’t sure if he wants to risk that considering there’s apparently other allies of the Guild that you don’t know about. You would see through it eventually, but in those few moments that you didn’t…

Any mistake now could be fatal. 

“She’s in federal custody right now,” Fitzgerald says. 

Dazai almost feels dizzy, hands falling from his lap to the bed to dig his nails into the sheets to steady himself. He knew this—he knew it in his heart when Twain mentioned the flash drive and pointed out the sirens but Dazai had still had hope that you managed to evade arrest, that you wouldn’t have been dragged down by his mistakes.

Fitzgerald is still talking and Dazai knows that he should be listening, but instead his mind racing, thoughts so quick and jumbled that he can hardly get them straight. If you’re in federal custody right now, the last thing you needed was to get out and hear news of Dazai turning against you. You’d be worn thin, stressed, alone. You don’t think clearly when you’re under a ton of stress, especially when people you love are at risk. You try to, but when it gets too much, you shut down like you did at the beach house and you can’t shut down with the Guild at your door and god knows what other enemies lurking in the shadow, preparing to strike.

If you’re in federal custody, then the chances that you’ll see through this is even lower because you’ll already not be thinking clearly. There’s a much higher chance that you don’t see through it, that you think the Guild tortured him until his mind broke and he turned against you. And considering your past with Nakahara Chuuya and his lover, it might be the only logical conclusion your brain comes to.

He can’t risk it. It’ll put you in danger—he’s done enough of that lately, but this time, your life really would be on the line.

Instead, he’ll put his on it. 

“No,” Dazai says suddenly, cutting Fitzgerald off mid sentence. The blonde looks at him curiously waiting for him to continue. “No. I don’t believe you—about her, about using her ability on me. I don’t believe any of it. Get out.”

Dazai doesn’t know how long he’ll be able to pretend to be blind with love—maybe he can convince Fitzgerald that he’s still under the effects of your ability, that might buy him a few days, but it won’t last forever. He doubts that the Guild will kill him if they want him to turn against you to batter you down, and they want him to do it willingly, so they’ll probably spend a few more days trying to convince him before they resort to making him turn on you through force. 

You just need to get to him before that happens.

Fitzgerald doesn’t look surprised by Dazai’s words, but he does look disappointed. He braces himself for the man to press the issue, but to Dazai’s relief, Fitzgerald stands to leave. Dazai needs time to think, time to formulate how exactly is the best way to go about this to buy as much time as possible.

“I figured that would be the case, months under an ability like that takes more than a few days of separation to be free of,” Fitzgerald tells him before he leaves. “Think on it, you could be very useful to our cause… and we could be useful to you too. I’ll be back for an answer.”

“Don’t come back anytime soon,” Dazai replies snidely as the door closes, pulling the blanket tighter around him and resting his head against the wall.

As soon as the door is closed, a heavy feeling settles over his chest and Dazai feels so alone that it makes him sick. He’s become so used to your presence in his life that every moment without you feels like his chest is being hollowed out. The room he’s in is cold and uncomfortable compared to the warmth of your apartment. He wants to be curled up in your bed, surrounded by your scent, wants to be watching some lame movie or forcing you to watch him play an even lamer video game. 

He misses you desperately, and his nails bite into the fabric of the blankets as he tries to ground himself, losing himself in the thoughts of you, praying that you come for him soon.

“Ah! Our resident convict has finally decided to grace us with her presence.”

“Oh, Ace, it’s impressive, truly, how everyday you manage to become more stupid than the last. You must not have any brain cells left in that empty skull of yours… You’re not much unlike a protozoa honestly, ” Piano Man sighs whimsically. When Ace’s face twists in confusion, Piano Man gives him a sweet smile. “That’s a single-celled organism. Basic biology, I fear, thank you for proving my point so quickly.”

“She hasn’t been convicted, you dumb fuck,” Chuuya snaps. “And you sound way too pleased over the matter, should probably choose your tone more carefully considering it was you and your subordinate who got her arrested. Sounds a bit like, I don’t know, treason. Did you betray the Port Mafia, Ace?” 

Wow, you think, they came in hotter than you expected.

You don’t even bother to address Ace as you make your way to your place at Mori’s right side, taking a seat in the chair left empty for you. You don’t look at him until you’ve taken your seat, but even then he gives you no cues, violet eyes watching you listlessly as he waits for you to say something.

Once the circular table is fully seated, your gaze finally flits to Ace.

“Go on,” you say. “Answer Chuuya’s question.”

Ace’s face twists at your words. “That’s a ridiculous accusation,” he says, raising his chin. “That-”

“Is it?” you interrupt coolly. “You pride yourself on the use of your collars and their ability to control your subordinates. Either your collars are not quite as effective as you’ve so ardently claimed them to be or you’ve betrayed the Port Mafia. Which is it, Ace? Both will have consequences, naturally, one will just be more… final than the other.”

Unless there’s some otherworldly interference, Ace is going to die today.

He’s the reason you were arrested. His subordinates are notoriously fearful of him and his ability to kill them with just a passing thought once he has the collar around their necks. The chance of one of them acting on their own to try to kill you is slim to none. And you know that he knows you know he did it just from the amusement thinly veiled behind the outraged expression on his face.

He’s too smug.

Something’s not right.

“Unfortunately, it seems as if my efforts to deter disobedience have gone ineffective concerning one of my subordinates.” Ace waves his hand, lavender eyes meeting yours pointedly as he speaks his next words: “No need to fret, I’ve dealt with him accordingly.”

That… was not anticipated. You’re careful not to react to his words, gauging the reactions of the others in the room trying to figure out if this was something they all talked about while you were being held by the government, but Piano Man and Chuuya look just as appalled, even Kouyou hides her pursed lips behind her fan as she gives Mori a careful look.

Mori does not look surprised as the rest of his executives.

What did you do?

Chuuya is the first to speak, voice low, “You’ve what?”

“A betrayal of this magnitude is not something for an executive to handle alone,” Piano Man says, the airy tone of his long gone as he stares at Ace. “Especially the executive in charge of said traitor. You acted out of line—this should’ve been brought in front of us all before any action was taken.”

“Out of line?” Ace’s voice becomes more mocking now, clearly enjoying knowing something that Piano Man doesn’t after the snide comment. “Not at all, I acted on orders of the Boss.”

At once, the conference room goes quiet. You see Chuuya and Piano Man turn to look at Mori for the corner of your eye, but you keep your gaze trained on Ace instead and he keeps his on yours. He looks entirely too pleased with himself, eyes cool and taunting, the corner of his lips turned up just enough to be noticeable.

“It’s true.”

Mori offers no explanation—he doesn’t need to, he’s the Boss, but you know there’s something else going on here. He never liked Ace, spoke poorly of the man’s easily bought loyalties and undue arrogance. Only gave him the executive position for financial purposes after the Dragon’s Head Conflict left Yokohama in shambles. Let him stay because his arrogance makes him easily manipulated but always keeps him at arm’s length, ready to cut off at the first whiff of betrayal.

And now he’s what? Scheming with the man he’s despised for years against you? Is it punishment for everything that has happened with the two Yakuza syndicates and the Guild? Punishment for Dazai? 

You can’t understand it, you can’t.

You look at Mori from the corner of your eye, blood running hot and only barely able to keep the fury off of your face.

What are you planning?

Mori’s lips curve up as if he can hear your thoughts, eyes flickering with amusement as he looks at you.

You’ll find out, little hime.

“What is Tachibana-kun’s opinion on the indictment?” Mori asks instead, leaning back in his seat and folding his hands over the table as he looks at you.

“He’s going to get the charges dropped,” you reply flatly, nails biting into the slacks you’d changed into before coming to the meeting, suddenly feeling far too cornered as you realize you have enemies around every corner—even within your own home. “This will be over within two weeks.”

“Hm.” Mori sounds more entertained than anything as he tilts his head to the side and studies you. “And the Guild? How do you plan to handle them, little hime? More importantly, that boy you’d been silly enough to allow the information that led to your imprisonment… I trust he’ll be properly handled?”

Putting you on blast in front of all of the executives… Kouyou is watching you carefully, Chuuya is stiff, Piano Man tense, and Ace, of course, is mildly amused. You feel like a circus monkey performing for the lot of them and you know it’s exactly what Mori wanted.

You’re sure not to let your irritation slip onto your face as you smile thinly and reply with: “The Guild will be taken care of by the end of the week. I fear that the boy is not the issue in this situation, Ace would be more suited to answer any questions regarding my imprisonment. Isn’t that right?” 

Ace’s smile tightens. “Not at all,” he says coldly. “What are you implying?”

“That it was your subordinate that had dealings with the Guild, of course,” you say with a sweet smile. “What else would I be implying?” 

“Right.”

“I mean, I do trust that you managed to get information out of him before killing him, right? We’ve all been trained to do that,” you add, raising your eyebrows and tilting your head to the side. “You did get the information, didn’t you?”

“I would like to know how you plan to handle the Guild considering you’ve failed spectacularly up to this point,” Mori intervenes, preventing you from questioning Ace about the ‘subordinate’ that ‘betrayed the Port Mafia’. 

You give him a heavy side-eye, wondering what game he’s playing and why he’s protecting Ace of all people—he must have some plan in the works that involves the man, but what? What could he possibly be using Ace for that’s so important that it makes the cost of keeping a rat in his inner circle trivial? You’ve always struggled to understand the way Mori’s mind works, but never more than now.

You decide to be plain with your accusations now. You’re tired of playing coy; although you’re stuck in limbo now as you wait for Tolstoy to come through with the favor you’ve asked of him, you still feel like you could be doing more productive things to try to figure out how you’ll actually approach Fitzgerald to get Dazai back. 

“I don’t feel comfortable divulging that information in this setting,” you say simply, watching as Kouyou’s eyes widen just a bit, Chuuya and Piano Man share a look, and Ace stiffens as he prepares for a scathing comment, but a motion from Mori has them settling down. “Regardless, I think there are more important issues to discuss. Namely, the setbacks we now have to deal with on the political front because of my indictment. I can reach out to the politicians that I’m close enough with that the accusations won’t sway them, but I worry that we might’ve lost a lot of key swing votes in the upcoming bill going through the Diet.”

“We can’t let that bill pass,” Chuuya says tightly. 

Kouyou sighs airly as she fans her face. “I can reach out to my connections,” she offers. “I assume Lippmann will have significant influence as well. Between the two of us, we can hopefully compensate for the losses. Do you think the indictment will prevent you from ever returning to handle political affairs?”

You purse your lips. “I doubt I’ll be back at any government events anytime soon, but I’ll be able to get work done from behind the scenes. It’ll be harder, but not impossible.”

Kouyou hums as she nods, glancing back at Mori. “If this is all, I had a prior commitment with our friends in Tokyo… It would be best for me to not miss it considering the circumstances.”

“I also have business to handle,” you say, gaze cutting back to Mori. “If necessary, I can meet with you later to tell you about how I plan to handle the Guild.”

“It’s not necessary,” Mori says lightly. “You’re dismissed, I promised Elise-chan tea time anyway. I expect results this time, little hime… Successful ones.”

Your lips tighten. “Of course,” you reply tensely. “I hope by the time of our next meeting, the rat infestation will be handled. I’ve seen a few too many since I’ve been back at headquarters today, it’s unsightly.”

Ace bristles and looks to Mori like a child seeking their parents’ support. How ironic, you think bitterly, but you don’t give anyone time to respond to your words as you rise to your feet and leave the room, intent on getting back to your apartment as quickly as possible. You don’t even wait for Chuuya or Piano Man as you get into the elevator and press the button to close the doors as quickly as possible.

Your gaze is pinned on the cityscape as the elevator begins to go down to the first floor. The sun has crossed its point in the peak of the sky—it’s still midday, it’s been sixty-six hours since you were taken into custody, likely just as long as Dazai’s been captured by the Guild

Sixty-six hours.

The Guild is not an organization that usually stoops to torture. Of all of the organizations in the world’s shadows, the Guild is probably the one closest to the light—they take advantage of it by forcing its members into the public spotlight. It’s why they’ve done so well in Yokohama so far; they’ve used their political presence to force countries into giving them diplomatic immunity, essentially making them untouchable. 

You’re sure they have some degree of blood on their hands, everyone in this world does, but torturing a civilian of a foreign country would be a bold move—if it got out, and you would make sure it did, it would ruin their station… But then again, would they even care?

Fitzgerald was so desperate to get his hands on Atsushi for whatever reason—the bounty and now this… There might not be any length he wouldn’t be willing to go to in order to get his hands on the boy. And Dazai… he wouldn’t give up the information, you know it in your heart. You wish that he would if only so he could protect himself, you’d be able to pivot and readjust your plans, but he won’t, especially not after his spiels about being a burden and wanting to help.

What an idiot, you think desperately, ignoring the way your eyes suddenly sting as you make your way out of the main headquarters to head over to your own building. You’re not even fully processing everything that’s happening around you—you ignore the subordinates that greet you, don’t even hear Albatross calling your name, and when you get to your building, you don’t even notice the doorman sitting at the desk in your building. 

It’s not until you get back up to your apartment that you’re finally able to break down.

Physically and mentally drained from two days in custody and now Mori’s schemes, it only takes the sight of Dazai’s sweater tossed on the back of your couch and his backpack lying haphazardly on the ground next to it for you to crumble. You don’t even make it to the couch—your knees give in as soon as your fingers brush the soft material of his sweater. You hit the ground hard, back pressed to the back of the couch as you pull the sweater down to your knees and you cry.

It still smells like him—well, a mixture of you and him since he’s started using your bath soaps—and you miss him so bad that it makes your chest cave in. You muffle the ragged gasp you take in with the sweater and curl in on yourself; you miss him, you miss him so bad that it’s painful, so bad that regret weighs on you like the burden of the sky, so bad that you think you might die. You’ve felt pain like this before when Itou died, but Itou’s death had not been entirely in your control, not like how this was. 

You let this happen. The moment you let him into your life, you damned him.

You’ve been teetering on the edge of collapse for days, only sheer willpower and the thin shred of pride you had left prevented you from falling apart during your time in prison, but now there’s nothing left to keep you together. Any remaining willpower was obliterated the moment you walked into your apartment and saw his sweater and backpack exactly where he left them before fleeing because of your words; any remaining pride was destroyed by Mori and his schemes refusing you at least some semblance of justice for your own imprisonment. 

Now alone, faced with only the consequences of your own decisions as company, you’re forced to acknowledge the bitter truth: you may never see Dazai again.

You may have gotten him killed.

He may already be dead—spent his last moments alone and in pain, wondering if you were ever going to show up.

You try to convince yourself that Fitzgerald won’t kill him before trying to use him as a bargaining chip over you, but the thoughts are only shallow consolations because you can’t push away the image that’s been haunting you since the day you met him. His body cold and rotting after having been abandoned in one of the dumping grounds the underworld uses as a mass grave, forgotten and nameless, left for the rate to devour. You knew this would happen from the beginning, but you still allowed it.

You’ve never prayed before. 

You’ve long believed that if there was a god out there, it was a cruel one who took delight in suffering because what other god would allow people to suffer the way you have? 

What god would allow an eight year old girl to sit amongst corpses for hours only to be saved by a man who would drag her down a path so dark that her blood would rot black and her soul would be so far beyond salvation before she was even old enough to attend secondary school? 

What god would show someone love only to rip it away before his very eyes in the most brutal way possible? 

What god would dangle the ‘what ifs’ right in front of your face just to taunt you knowing that the moment you let yourself indulge them, you would be reminded exactly why they should’ve remained ‘what ifs’?

You’ve never prayed before, but now, you find yourself crying to any that might listen to you because you don’t know what else to do. There’s no guarantee that your plan will work and you can’t give Fitzgerald what he wants, you can’t. So instead, you cry, you beg, you plead, you bargain. You don’t know what divine being might be out there, but for the first time in your life, you hope that there is one, because you’ve never saved a single person in your life. You got Itou killed, you got Chuuya’s lover killed, countless men on the warfront who were banking on your ability fix their minds, at this point, you’re sure that even the loss of your family and village was somehow blood on your hands—everywhere you’ve been, ruin and death have followed you, and this will be no different.

You won’t be able to save him, just like you’ve never been able to save anyone else before. Your only hope lies in the hands of the very beings that have designed this moment and every other misfortune of yours before this. It’s a sick joke, you think, but still, you pray. You cry, and beg, and plead, and bargain. You ask them to bring him back to you, you tell them that he’s good and that he never belonged in this life; you promise that if they bring him back to you, you’ll do what you should’ve done from the very beginning. 

You swear it.

You don’t know how long you stay on your floor with his sweater pressed to your chest—could have been minutes or hours, you don’t even hear the elevator arriving at your floor, don’t notice someone is in the room with you until you feel fingers brush your shoulder. You stiffen and futilely try to dry your eyes, lifting your gaze to figure out who had entered your apartment without calling up first. There’s only a handful of people it might be and-

And for just a split second, you think that it might be Dazai.

It’s not, of course, your eyes meet the familiar ones of Klaus’s, the expression he wears is full of guilt, regretful, and just as your lips part to ask him what he wants, he whispers: “I’m sorry I couldn’t find him. I really did try.”

You’ve only seen Klaus cry twice before. Once, two weeks after you took him in when he realized he was finally free of the fighting rings he’d been forced to compete in since his ability manifested. And a second time after he failed his first mission, tossed back into a memory that had him curling on the ground begging you not to send him back. Now, he doesn’t cry, but his throat spasms and his eyes shine with unshed tears. 

“I know you did, Klaus,” you say, voice too raspy for your liking

“... I left him alive,” Klaus tells you after a few moments. Before you can ask what he’s talking about, he continues, “Ui. I thought you might want to be the one to deal with him.”

At once, any exhaustion that might’ve been plaguing you disappears, the ice that spreads through your veins promises only one thing.

“Bring me to him.”

“It has been two days since little miss princess was released from prison, how’s that make you feel?” 

Dazai stares blankly at Twain, who looks far too pleased as he tilts his chair back and watches him for a reaction. Dazai wishes that he was closer so that he could kick the chair back and watch him go sprawling, but even if he was closer, his body feels rooted to the bed he’s sitting on. Dazai has alway had a quick brain, but now it’s slow as Twain’s words echo through his head on repeat and he starts to understand the implications of them, unable to accept them as truth.

“Guess she doesn’t care about you as much as ya thought she did.” Twain shrugs like it's all some big joke, grin crooked. “Hasn’t even bothered to reach out to ask us about you. Port Mafia’s been active too, guess she just has more important things to deal with than some kid she played around with for a few months. Francis seems more bothered by it than I thought he would. I think he really thought she’d really fight for you—for your sake.”

Dazai doesn’t respond, gaze sliding from Twain to stare at the wall in front of him. It’s been a long four days in Guild custody. He’s hardly had a moment to himself, and he’s been careful to keep up the act of the lovesick fool who refuses to see things as they ‘are,’ but he’s tired and lonely and he misses you. It’s all wearing him out. 

He can keep up the act—if it means protecting you, he could do this forever—he’s put on masks and fronts for people his whole life, this is nothing compared to all of that… it’s just that it’s harder when he’s had a taste of life with someone who he doesn’t need to put up masks for. It’s harder when he wants nothing more than to just be back in your apartment, basking in your presence. It makes him dizzy with longing and it makes him careless. 

And… he thinks Twain’s words are hitting him a lot harder than they should be. 

“I’m not all too surprised though,” Twain continues absently, waving his hands around. “You’re not anything special, and I heard her boy Tolstoy’s back in town. She doesn’t need you to entertain her anymore now that he’s around.”

For a second, Dazai can see the dams cracking. All of the pent up emotions that have been building the past few days batter the splintering walls holding them back, and Dazai can only barely bring himself to try to reinforce them because now’s not the time for this. But every time he manages to fortify one section of the crumbling dam, another starts to collapse. 

It can’t be true. It can’t be—Dazai knows this, in his heart, he knows it—what you had with him… it was special. It was. (Wasn’t it?) The way you looked at him, no one could look at someone that way and not mean it. No one could speak the words you did and not mean them. There must be something else going on, you must be planning something—you’re not going to rush headfirst into a trap, not when it could end with Dazai’s life in danger and especially not with your past with the Serpent’s Tongue, but…

… but Twain’s mention of Tolstoy rattles Dazai badly. You’ve talked about Tolstoy before to him, and it was always with a certain fondness that made Dazai uneasy, and for a second, Dazai thinks it might be possible that you could just be cutting your losses with him and moving on. Because Twain is right, Dazai is nothing special, and it’s not like the two of you ended off on a good note before his capture—you were mad at him, he was cruel to you, he blamed you for all of this even though he forced it onto you. 

Dazai wouldn’t even really be able to blame you for not coming for him after that; for months, he’s been forcing your hand but when he felt backed into a corner, he threw it all in your face. 

Not even to mention that it might not even be as simple as you coming to save Dazai—there were other factors at play too, the Port Mafia being the biggest. You’re an executive, you can’t just throw everything away to come rescue him when he got himself into this situation after you explicitly warned him that this would happen. 

If you had to choose between him and the Mafia… could he really be certain that you would choose him in that scenario? He wants to say yes, he does, but the word feels weighted and bitter on his tongue, like he knows it’s not quite so cut and dry.

Realistically, you might not come for him. Even if Twain is wrong and it’s not a matter of whether you care about him enough to come for him, there are too many variables that could prevent you from coming for him… but Twain might not be wrong. 

“Mark,” Fitzgerald’s familiar voice chides as the man steps into the room Dazai is staying in. He doesn’t even hear the sigh and comment that Twain lets out before leaving because he’s too lost in his own thoughts.

Dazai has never felt so entirely out of control of a situation like this before—he’s always been so careful and meticulous in his interactions with people and his surroundings because he likes being able to predict how people will act around him, it makes it easier for him to figure out how he should act. He’s even had a good hold on himself, learned how to school his emotions and convert ones he doesn’t like into ones that are easier for him to manage. But everything about this has just been so impossible for him to get a handle on, he’s tried in every way that he could, but the realization of the fact that you might not be coming for him is sending him over the edge 

“I wanted to break the news to you myself,” Fitzgerald says and Dazai feels bitter and angry about the sympathy in his voice, wants to spit at him. He doesn’t need anyone’s pity, much less his, but he only finds himself staring listlessly at the man instead. “I waited a few days to see if she would reach out, but she never did… I’m afraid I can’t keep waiting anymore, I need to move on with the next stage of my plan.”

This is it, Dazai thinks distantly—now is when they’ll finally switch from persuasion to force. He thought he would have a bit longer to figure out how he would proceed and now he can’t even get himself thinking straight to try to figure out how to evade this. His thoughts are scattered and distant and so many different and unfamiliar emotions are battering him from every angle; he can hardly pay attention as the man across from him speaks. 

“I want you to cooperate willingly,” the Guild leader continues, but his words are going in one ear out the other. “... don’t have to worry about them targeting you for betrayal. We have enough resources to shield you from the Port Mafia. Additionally-”

“No,” Dazai says quietly—the refusal slips out before he can even process it.

Fitzgerald pauses. “No?” 

“No,” he reiterates, voice more strained, the words tumbling from his lips. “No, I don’t need your protection. I’m not going to cooperate. I won’t betray her—not for anyone, but especially not you. She’ll come. I know it.”

Something changes in Fitzgerald’s expression at Dazai’s words; it becomes twisted for just a second, but then it softens, his lips curl up into a faint smile. One that’s almost fond, but Dazai can’t understand why for the life of him. 

“I see, so even knowing all of this and realizing that she might not be coming for you, you still choose to stand at her side,” he murmurs. He doesn’t try to persuade Dazai like he thought he would. “There are not many who are able to see the worst of someone and still make that choice… I’ve only met one other… You remind me much of her.”

“She chooses me too,” Dazai says. He thinks, for a second, that he’s only saying it to scare Fitzgerald into realizing that you’ll come for him, but as soon as the words leave his lips, he knows that it’s true. That he believes it. He believes you’ll choose him, he believes you’ll come for him no matter what the cost might be. Even after everything that happened the other day, even knowing that you’ve been free for days and haven’t made any moves to rescue him yet, his faith in you hasn’t wavered. “She’ll come for me, and you’ll regret this.”

Fitzgerald exhales as he rises to his feet, gaze lingering on Dazai for just a moment before he tells him, “For your sake, I hope your faith is not misplaced.”

“The human psyche is unbearably fragile. It’s one of the first conclusions I came to during my studies,” you say absently, sitting back in your chair. “I don’t have a combative ability. I can’t control any elemental force and I don’t have a superhuman body. I can’t summon entities to fight on my behalf and I certainly can’t shapeshift. Chuuya spent a lot of time studying physics to fine tune his power, my path laid in psychology. You see, my ability isn’t flashy or showy like many others, but it is an ability nonetheless, and even the weakest abilities can become dangerous in the right hands.”

Ui Koutarou stares up at you from the corner that he’s curled up in, his pupils are blown wide and his skin is pale and sweaty. You don’t know if he’s looking through you or at you, but you suppose it doesn’t matter.

“Usually, conditioning a human mind to have automatic responses to particular stimuli can take months, but I’ve learned to utilize my ability in a way that can speed up that process from months to days,” you explain, watching carefully as you flick the lighter in your hands. “You’ve realized that, of course, I’ve spent the past two days here rewiring your brain to react to things the way I want it to. You can’t control the way your heart starts racing when you see this flame, right? I can see the way your breath is short, your pupils dilated. You don’t have any reason to be scared of it, it’s harmless, but you’re still terrified. Why?” 

He doesn’t answer, of course, you didn’t say the word, but when you rise to your feet and take a step forward, he scrambles back impossibly further, shrinking into the corner. Your lips curve up as you flick the lighter off and take a seat, watching the way he immediately begins to relax again. 

“My ability isn’t mind control, I fear if it was, my life would be much more simple,” you sigh, looking up at the ceiling momentarily before lowering your gaze back down to him. “I can induce emotions and states in the human brain—the weak-minded naturally are much easier than the strong-willed, but I can make both bend to my will, it’s just a matter of how much effort I’m willing to put into it.”

You tilt your head to the side as you observe him and then pull a pen from your pocket, tossing it in his general direction. You can see the way his chest visibly stutters at the sight of it, breath ceasing, and then he darts to the opposite side of the room. In his desperate flee, his foot brushes the pen and you smile lightly as you activate your ability, watching the way he immediately hits the ground, screaming his throat raw as he curls into a ball. After deactivating your ability, you wait a few seconds for him to calm down before continuing. 

“The human psyche is fragile, but the brain is very malleable. As soon as it recognizes that a certain action will always bear a negative consequence, it will adapt and do everything it can to prevent you from taking that action to avoid the negative consequences.” You lean forward, looking down at him. “It’s recognized now to associate fear with a flame and a pen. You can’t control the way that the sight of either of these two objects make you react—it’s reflexive because your brain has already taken the necessary steps to ensure that you don’t get close enough to either to trigger the consequence that comes along with touching it.”

The flame is a necessary step. It’s easier to force the brain to associate fear with something that is inherently dangerous, and you needed to see how long it might take for you to move on to something that’s not inherently dangerous. It took three hours of conditioning to make his brain adapt enough to have reflexive responses to the sight of fire.

Then you moved onto a pen, because you thought it was ironic for a journalist to fear the same thing he uses to complete his job. That took six hours. 

“When you stayed away from the two objects, I rewarded you,” you explain with a thin smile. “It must’ve been so relieving… all of the pleasant emotions you felt after nearly five days of being locked up here. Happiness, hope, gratitude. I’m sure it was confusing too, because you didn’t know why you felt that way but you were so quick to bask in them that it didn’t matter.”

Ui continues to watch you, so you continue speaking. You think you’re talking more to yourself than to him, you don’t even know if he’s capable of processing your words at this point, but you need to keep yourself busy while you wait.

“When you touched the objects, I punished you,” you continue. “Guilt, sadness, but my favorite is fear. It’s the easiest emotion to induce in someone, it’s not one that I have to actively keep applied because the human mind spirals once it has a taste of it. They call it the mind killer.”

The last sentence tastes bitter on your tongue. It reminds you of Dazai.

“I did the same thing with your ability to speak… Speaking is a voluntary action, it’s a bit different than conditioning reflexive responses, but it still worked. Now, you can’t speak until I say the word, right?”

He doesn’t respond. You didn’t say the word.

“Speak.”

“Yes,” he rasps, voice wet and shaky. “You’re right.”

“I even made sure that no one else could trigger it. I brought Klaus in here and had him order you to speak. Every time you listened to his order, I punished you. Every time you listened to mine, I rewarded you. Do you remember that?”

He doesn’t respond. You didn’t say the word.

“Speak.”

“I remember,” he replies. “I remember.”

“Dazai Osamu was captured by the Guild because you worked alongside them to have me arrested. Isn’t that right?”

He doesn’t respond. You didn’t say the word.

Your voice is colder this time as you say: “Speak.”

“I didn’t mean for him to get kidnapped.” He has the nerve to sound like he’s about to cry. “None of my students, I didn’t mean for it-”

“That’s not what I asked. Speak.”

“Yes,” he chokes out. “Yes, he got kidnapped because of me.”

“That’s right,” you agree, “and he might die because of you too. Was it worth it?”

He doesn’t respond. You didn’t say the word.

“Speak.”

“No,” he whispers. “No, it wasn’t worth it.”

“I know,” you say, more to yourself than him. “But I suppose we’ve all done things that had consequences that weren’t worth it.”

You sigh, glancing to the side to see a figure waiting outside the cell. Chuuya’s face is twisted in displeasure, an unreadable look in his eyes as he stares at you.

“If it were up to me, I would let you live,” you admit. “A journalist too scared to ever pick up the pen again… the man trying to bring down the Port Mafia little more than a puppet for one of its executives… an ironic fate, possibly one worse than death.” 

You rise to your feet and walk to the door of the cell, leaving the room. Before you leave, you look over your shoulder and say:

“Luckily, your fate is not up to me.”

You leave the cell and close the door behind you, looking up to meet Chuuya’s familiar eyes, cool and disapproving.

“Don’t you think you might be going too far?” he asks quietly.

“Says the man who leveled an entire ward,” you reply coldly and he winces at the reminder. “I don’t want to hear anything from you about ‘too far’. If anything, I haven’t gone far enough.”

Chuuya sighs, but he doesn’t press the matter. 

“You should get some rest,” he finally says. “You’ve pretty much been up for two days straight, and I know you didn’t sleep while locked up.”

You click your tongue and look away. “I slept yesterday.”

“For an hour and a half,” Chuuya replies dryly. “Torturing the fuckin’ journalist isn’t going to bring Dazai back-”

“No, but it makes me feel better,” you interrupt, gaze sharpening. 

“Does it?”

“It does, in fact,” you say, giving him a thin smile, “more than you could ever believe.”

Chuuya lets out another sigh, this one heavier than the last. “I’m worried about you,” he says, voice tight. “I-”

“I don’t care, Chuuya,” you say, watching as Chuuya’s face twists in frustration. “I don’t need your concern. I need Osamu back and until he is-”

“This isn’t going to bring him back, you-”

“I don’t care!” You don’t even realize you’ve raised your voice, don’t even register your own movements as your hands dart out to shove Chuuya back hard. He only stumbles a few steps, but he gives you a pointed look. Suddenly, you want to cry again and your voice wobbles as you repeat, “I don’t care.”

He’s right. You know he’s right. Torturing Ui Koutarou isn’t going to do anything to help Dazai. The man is useless, gave information to the Guild that he shouldn’t have, but has no idea their whereabouts or even who he spoke to. And it’s not making you feel better like you claim it is, the sick bit of glee you may feel watching the journalist-turned-husk dissipates quickly whenever the thought of Dazai crosses your mind.

The Guild hasn’t even reached out to you.

You don’t know if it’s a good sign or a bad sign—probably a bad one. If they were trying to use him as leverage over you and the Port Mafia, then they would’ve done that by now. They could be waiting for you to reach out, it would give them the advantage in negotiations, but you can’t reach out before you have something to negotiate with. 

But the longer you wait… they’ll use it against Dazai. They’ll tell him you don’t care to come after him. They’ll tell him you’ve been out of prison for two days, yet you haven’t bothered to reach out to the Guild to get him back. They’ll make him feel worthless and Dazai already has such a poor perception of himself that you fear he’ll believe it, but you can’t do anything yet.

Not yet, but soon. 

Soon.

“The Diet postponed the military bill,” Chuuya says, changing the subject. Your gaze snaps back over to him. “Ane-san just got word from one of her friends in the House of Councillors. They pushed it two weeks out.”

You grimace instantly, shaking your head. “They want to see what happens with the indictment. If it gets dropped or goes to trial. If it goes to trial, we’ll lose more swing votes.”

“I asked Piano Man if he could talk to Tachibana, see what’s going on with getting the charges dropped, I know you have a lot on you right now, but I figured you’d want to know this,” Chuuya murmurs apologetically, squeezing your wrist.

Dazai is gone. The Guild is at your doorstep. There are countless indictments that you’re not sure are going to get dropped. The military bill is still looming over you. God, it’s never ending. You’re so tired.

“I’m glad you told me,” you finally tell him, but your voice is strained. “I’ll figure something out about the bill if the worst case scenario happens.”

Chuuya’s lips part like he’s about to speak, but he pauses suddenly, eyes flickering behind you. A dreadful feeling suddenly hangs over you as you turn around to face none other than Mori—the man never comes to the torture rooms himself so you know he must be looking for someone and that someone is very likely you.

Chuuya takes off his hat and lowers his head. You usually would follow suit but you don’t this time, keeping your chin high as you stare at Mori. His lips only curve up in response to your lack of respect, much to your displeasure.

“Chuuya-kun, may I?” Mori hums, doesn’t have to specify what he wants because Chuuya knows, nodding and excusing himself so Mori can speak to you alone.

His eyes slide away from you to the cell that holds Ui Koutarou. You watch as he looks between the pen on the ground and the way the man is as far away from it as possible. He tilts his head to the side in amusement, lifting his fingers to the chest pocket of his lab coat, pulling out the pen he always has stashed in there before tossing it at him. Ui is unable to dodge it fast enough, doesn’t realize what’s happening until too late.

The moment the pen touches his body, you activate your ability, watching him let out another blood curdling scream before focusing your attention back on Mori, who looks oddly pleased by what he’s found.

“Two days of work?” he questions.

“A little over.”

“How impressive,” he murmurs—for the first time, he says it without the mocking lilt that usually accompanies it and your throat swells, eyes flickering away from him to the wall. 

You know that he’s probably only saying it to try to ease your anger at him, but you can’t help the way it makes you feel after years of trying to get him to say those very words to you and mean them.

“Did you know?” you finally ask him, voice too hoarse for your liking.

“Did I know what?” Mori asks, raising his eyebrows to look down at you with sharp eyes that tell you he knows exactly what you’re asking but isn’t going to make this easy for you.

“Did you know that Ace was setting me up? Was it punishment?” Your nails dig deep into your palms as you wait for a response, so much so that you can feel the blood trickling between your fingers. “Did you?” 

“Of course not, I would never risk our political position so recklessly. Especially with the military bill in the Diet,” Mori scoffs, looking away for a moment before glancing back down at you. “Nor would I risk you so recklessly. You should know that by now, little hime.”

You avert your gaze, shaking your head. He’s only saying this to appease you, you know it, you don’t know why you’re still falling for it. 

“I don’t know anything that goes on in your mind,” you bite back, grateful that your voice is steadier than how you feel. “Why isn’t he being punished then? He betrayed the Port Mafia.”

“I still have something I need him to do,” Mori replies easily, lips curving up into a smile that unsettles you. “... Don’t fret, my dear, when the time comes, you can be the one to handle his execution.”

You click your tongue sharply. “It better be soon.”

You can only define the smile on his face as sinister, and you almost regret your words when he replies, “It will be,” because you don’t know what exactly he has planned for him to be smiling like that.

Before you can interrogate him on what the hell he’s even talking about, Klaus comes stumbling down the steps with wide eyes and an excited expression on his face. He pauses when he sees Mori, gaze darting between the two of you.

“I’ll speak to you later, little hime,” Mori says dismissively—you wonder what he came down here for, he wouldn’t have come to speak to you without some sort of agenda and you don’t know what he would have achieved from this conversation beyond unnerving you. “... Keep up the good work.”

Your throat tightens as he turns to leave, gliding past Klaus who awkwardly lowers his head in respect as he walks by. As soon as he’s out of sight, Klaus turns to you, lips spreading in a toothy smile. 

“Tolstoy is here.”

Your eyes widen instantly. “Take me to him.”

You thought he would be a bit longer. Your chest is tight with anticipation as you follow Klaus to another level in the main headquarters. You were expecting to have to wait at least another day or two for him to complete the favor you asked for him and another thirteen hours for him to fly from New York City to Yokohama. You suppose you shouldn’t be surprised, Tolstoy has always exceeded your expectations, but still… you hadn’t dared hope.

The man is leaning outside the door Klaus leads you to, lips curved up in a familiar smile, blue eyes glittering playfully as soon as he catches sight of you.  

“Princess,” he greets, holding his hand out for you to place yours in. You roll your eyes fondly as the blonde lifts your hand to his lips to ghost a kiss against your knuckles. He winks at you. “She’s all yours.”

You thank him quietly before pushing open the door to enter the conference room in front of you. The woman waiting inside is prim and elegant, wearing a long dress with jewels decorating her neck and wrists. Her expression is cool and closed off at first glance, but you can see the glassiness of her eyes and the way her thin fingers tremble in her lap.

You give the woman a soft smile as you approach, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands in yours. You make sure your expression is gentle and genuine as you look up at her, watching as your ability instantly goes to work when her fingers stop trembling and her own expression softens as she looks down at you.

“Hi, Zelda,” you greet, voice sweet and honeyed. “You don’t need to be scared. I’m a friend.”

When Zelda Fitzgerald lets out a soft breath of relief, the tenseness in her shoulders easing, you know that she’s made the fatal mistake of believing you and your smile becomes a bit more authentic. 

Finally, you can make your move. 

“Come, let’s go somewhere more comfortable. We have a lot to talk about.”

[prosciuttoon]

Toshiro/Shuro is overhated

(mirror of my thread on twitter)

ever wanted to talk abt something so bad but u have so many thoughts so u cant even begin to organize a sentence. thats me abt shuro and its why i cant give my thoughts on him. i NEED to get this out of my system bc its takign up so much memory in my brain i need that space for thinking.

so i was really surprised to find so much hate for him even tho he seems pretty normal and rational out of the whole cast. ive deducted that its mostly abt his laios fight and that the ppl who hate him probably had bad experiences w social cues and relationships w neurotypicals bc of that. theres no way to avoid it bc its pretty much Right In Your Face that laios is ND. but thats not the only factor in why their relationship is rocky. its also the culture barrier. u have to understand toshiro was raised as JAPANESE NOBILITY ofc he would be a little conservative

also culture shock. idk if u know this but jp culture is very Mind Your Own Business like a lot of other asian cultures . ofc hes gonna be weirded out by a stranger invading his space. also his names not even Shuro. its just yt ppl not pronouncing his name right and settling for whats easiest.

img src: fan translation by savaralyn2 , i think its from the adventurers bible Complete Edition bc i dont remember it in the old one

ok you get the gist of the culture aspect of it. lets go into the ND/NT clash aspect of it. yes i understand its pretty hurtful to never be told when youre acting inappropriately. i am autistic too lmao. but you have to understand that shiro is one guy and he even does realize that repressing things is one of his fatal flaws. again. asian culture. non confrontational. that sorta thing. but these are genuine frustrations. if i were him id be annoyed too but id speak out about it. set boundaries. bc im blunt. shiros not. he was taught crazy strict manners (hierarchies, respect, politeness, etc).

his problem isnt ableism its a culmination of culture barriers, how he was raised to behave, and terrible lack of communication as thing caused by "all of the above" plus he just generally keeps to himself a lot which means repressing frustrations that will explode leading to a pathetic fistfight while hes starved, exhausted, and dehydrated. also. if he was ableist he would hate laios. he doesnt hate laios. at the end of the day, they are friends. NT and ND ppl can be friends u know. there will be rifts (like their fight) but you just have to communicate misunderstandings. theyre gonna be fine lol

anyways that was my whole spiel abt it. i think i got everything out that i wanted to? my head still feels a little full so i may add more later when i remember something

also i think its a little unfair to rule out the possibility of laios and him just being 2 very different kinds of ND bc its very common for misunderstandings to occur even then. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT BUT WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER! but for the sake of interpreting the Fight as a commentary on NT social rules and ND frustration, ill say toshiros NT. will we ever know? hes so far in the sidelines... youd really have to dig in the extra content to see the intricacies of his character.... please give him a chance

[benevolentindigo]

"Hello, visitors. It's... Nice to be able to commune here..."

"I hope that all of you are nicer this time around..."

//Pfp by @whilvlc :D

Minor winter event:

Will be snowing in the forest until end of March ❄

(Read below for more info :3)

Fear Parody account run by @brokerplushsg :D

Hai gang, Blueflame here, but y'all can call me Blue for short. I'm currently 16 so ya, I am a minor (so shoo, weird adult accounts) Uhhhh this is my first time roleplaying on tumblr so don't mind me if I make mistakes 😭 djdhdjdhdkdhdhjdhdhd (But def not my first time rping in general)

Shoutout to @fearfulpurple for inspiration to start this account lol (Go check their parody too :D)

Also if y'all curious no I don't have a schedule for posting, I just do whenever I wanna. And if I am taking particular long to answer a certain question, its probably because im drawing it lol-

If u wish to contact me, Dms are always open so feel free to pop by. :D Also I have discord and I'm most active there so if u want it, just dm me. :3

My favourite post I've made so far:

"To deny my existence, is to accept death."

- Fear

Also ig imma put some mostly obvious boundaries here too because like I wanna keep this as a safe space-

No NSFW (Self explanitory)

No political stuff/troubling real world stuff (Here is not the right place for such things)

Don't be too mean/rude (like a little is fine for the sake of rp but like don't take it too far)

Don't be weird in the bad way (Dont be too freaky with fear or just do stuff that makes people uncomfortable in general)

Roleplay info

◤━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◥

Anything associated with Roleplay is in chat font.

Anything associated with Fear is Purple.

Anything associated with a Phobia is Pink.

Anything associated with players/NPCs/people in general is rainbow.

Anything associated with narration is white.

Other characters not specified here may have their own unique colored text.

"Spoken dialogue is in quotations."

*Actions start and ends with asterisks and are in italics*

//OOC have double slashes before the message.

//OORP have double slashes before the message, and is in normal font.

◣━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◢

Headcanons

General info:

Their MBTI personality type is ISFP-T, also known as the Turbulent Adventurer. (Ngl I'm surprised when I got these results when I did the test in character but eh it surprising fits)

Their Toastology is Galic Butter Toast. (I did it for the funnies)

They are surprisingly proficient with the guzheng if given one.

They have mixed feelings for Kikuo's songs. A few they find comfort in (Like Song of the Night and Astral Travel), many they find disturbing (Like Dust Dust Curse and Love me, Love me, Love me), and some they have conflicting feelings about. (Like Let's go to Heaven and Welcome to the Star Inn.)

Since they are a manifestation of an abstract concept, it does not associate with any gender nor does it have any preference in pronouns because frankly, they do not care.

Despite not associating with any gender, they are slightly leaning more towards being feminine presenting, but it can depend on who they are interacting with.

Nobody can agree on what their voice truely sounds like, as everyone hears it a little differently, but generally, they are soft spoken, only loud when scared or pissed off.

Technically, they could speak in any language, but they prefer English and Japanese.

Despite being the embodiment of fear, they have certain things that they are personally more afraid of, like bees, thunder and most of all, death. (And Hatred too)

When feeling threatened or just angry in general, they would growl, it sounding very similar to the rustling of leaves.

When they scream, it sounds similar to that of a Banshee. Very loud and ear piercing.

When startled, they would raise their arms and open up their claws, somewhat similar to how red pandas react when startled.

Normally they do not really swear, but if you somehow made them VERY pissed off, they would begin swearing like a sailor.

Despite Fear being ageless due to being an abstract concept, it still can be considered the "oldest" of the vices as they were developed as a survival adaptation in the very, very, distant past, about 500 million years ago. This also explains their more, primordial and tree like appearance, representing security and uncertainty at the same time.

Their anon account is @anonymous-hyacinth :D (for the sake of rp pls act like ya don't know who they are until revealed)

Abilities/Biology:

They are similar to Shimenawa, Leshy, dryads (more specifically a hamadryad), and Banshees.

They are connected to the Fear Forest as it's their domain, and they are one with all the trees. Thus they have the powers and abilities to manipulate and change the forest at will.

They are connected to each tree in the Fear Forest through the root system, kinda like IRL trees.

They are able to feel and sense through the trees due to their connections. Therefore if one tree were to get damaged, or even chopped down, Fear would feel the pain too.

Fear and the trees of the Fear Forest function a little more like purple sulfur bacterias living in deep caves rather than actual plants, having roots that sink deep into the depths of the dreamscape to gather minerals like memories and thoughts to keep growing.

They "eat" food (burgers, colas, apples, etc) with their roots, bringing it into the ground and breaking it up into smaller, more soluble pieces with their roots, or just straight up absorb it if it's already like a drink.

They have the ability to extend and retract their roots, as well as partially extend it above ground. (As shown in their Shockwave attack.)

Fear barely moves from their position, but if they really need too, they would need to retract their roots fully, before dragging their body along the ground with their arms, moving in a similar way to stick insects. They can be surprisingly fast if need be, but that doesn't change the fact it's very uncomfortable for them to be dragging around their body like that.

Their "torso" and "leg" are slightly flexible, but not to the point where they could "sit". At that point it's the equivalent of breaking their spine.

It's "Tree form" is their true form, they just shapeshift into their more humanoid one when interacting with others or engaging in combat.

In their "Tree form", they are able to have a better connection with the forest, making it easier to manipulate and change the environment of their domain.

Normally, they sleep in their "Tree form", unless suddenly knocked unconscious like using the Comatose ball.

Fear has a velvety texture around their main body, with their limbs feeling more bark like. The tuffs of "leaves" sticking out from the side of their body feel especially soft.

When put under extreme stress, the "fuzz" on their body would fall off. It does not make them look that visually different, except the tuffs on the side of their body are bare twigs, but now all of their body would have the bark like texture.

Depending on who they are talking too, they can mimic the voice of others that said person knows about. Most of the time, they use this ability to remind or comfort. However when needed, they can use it to threaten.

Having connections with animals due to being an essential survival instinct, they are able to communicate with them with ease.

Despite usually being soft, their voice can be quite powerful, as when they Screech like using Total Dismay, they can temporarily paralyse those they target.

Phobias are born from the sap of the trees in the Fear forest, and it's technically their blood too.

When stressed, the roots of the trees can excrete their sap, and thus Fear can use it to summon Phobias.

When Phobias use Rebirth, what is left of them is usually quite sticky, and what falls onto the ground usually gets absorbed back into the trees, ready to spring out again if needed to defend Fear.

Aside from Rebirth, Phobias can also bite and latch on as attacks unlike ingame.

Being naturally intuitive and observant of the world, they have a special insight and connection to every other embodiment. Thats how they know of the true nature of Hatred and how Greed and Solitude had been defeated before them.

Phobias generally act like slimes behaviour wise. Very curious. Have quite an appetite too.

Aside from general behaviour and appearance, there might be slight deviations between each phobia depending on what they represent. (Like Ophidiophobia acting and appearing slightly more snake like in apperance and behaviour.)

Fear of course knows all of their phobias and knows how to take care of each one.

Being an abstract concept, they, along with all the other residents in Dreamworld cannot be truly "killed", even when they are, they would some way eventually be rebirthed. Still doesn't change the fact that it's still a very unpleasant experience, especially for Fear, and they themselves really hate being "killed off" for many, various reasons.

If for some reason, Fear dies, the sturdiest tree in the Fear forest, would slowly become the new "Fear", kind of like how the alpha male clownfish chages and takes the place of a dominant female when the female dies off. (It's still the same Fear, just slightly different body)

When needing to revive, if there are no available trees in the Fear forest, like all are burned to the ground or chopped into stumps, new saplings would grow out from the stumps/soil from underground roots and grow into new trees, and depending on the damage, recovery might take weeks, months or maybe even a year.

To truly get rid of fear, not only must all the trees in the fear forest needs to be cut down, but all of their roots must be rid as well, which is definitely very tedious due to the amount of it as well as them branching far and deep into the crevices of the mind, it's etched into our behaviour after all. Even if a single centimeter of root remained, it can and will eventually grow back the entire forest.

Relationships:

They are generally netural towards most entities in Dream World.

They find Greed annoying sometimes.

They are friends with Solitude, even somewhat considering them like a sibling.

They are genuinely afraid of Hatred, and would avoid it as much as they could.

They hate Hatred as much as they fear it, so despite their fear, if they see others getting hurt by it, they would throw hands at it. (Probably also #1 Hatred hater)

Fear, Greed and Solitude barely see face to face, as there is not really much reason to meet up. And even if they do, they would meet up at Fear's domain due to their mobility issues.

Out of the trio, Fear knows every other member the most, as well as being the member of the trio that knows about Hatred the most aside from that one missing member.

They genuinely look out for players, despite being afraid of them sometimes.

They treat Phobias as their pets and adores them greatly if they so happen to summon one.

Design guide

Stylisation:

This is how I do the effect for the pics lol, just posting this here for reference for myself or if u want, u can take inspiration or use it with credit :D (Done in Ibis paint btw)

I might change it in the future tho-

[kcokaine]

Hi IBA! First of all ur art is mind blowing man! Now to beg for ur mercy lol what brush do u use to render? I mean, is a round brush or textured or watercolor or oily? Im driving myself crazy trying to to figure it out, mercy, my lady!! 💆🏽

this is my main 6. I don't use dark pencil much though. its mostly for finishing touches. Seans sketcher is for sketching and lineart Sampled brush 71 is for texture Smooth watercolor is for blending The japanese symbols one is just for messy touch ups when it comes to painting

and G pen is universal of course

[shit-solkat]

Names for every sprite (canon and not) - Homestuck

After this post (link), I started thinking about names for every sprite (prototyped Kernelsprites) that isn't simply their names smashed together. You can totally disagree with me :) I'm fine with it.

Yes, I will also explain my thought process and the names' meanings.

Note: I love using common words as names, but there will be other options as well :)

Note2: I find translations and meanings on google; of course I don't know all the languages of the world. So if I fuck-up some names, pardon :( (I can't fuck-up italian names cuz I'm italian tho lolz).

Note3: Not everyone has 2 names, it's hard :c

Note4: Many characters miss, and I WANT to make a second part!!! So don't worry too much about it (but you can totally contribute if you want :) )

Note5: No ship tagged cuz it's not a ship list lolz, but you can consider it like that if you want :3

Long post

Canon:

* Davepetasprite^2 = Paws, Hunter

>Paws: cuz i said so (scientific answer).

>Hunter: Both cats and crows are hunter-animals.

* Erisolsprite = Selvhad, Jabez

>Selvhad: "Self-hatred" in Danish.

>Jabez: Hebrew name, meaning "born in pain".

* Fefetasprite = Harcsa, Nyna

>Harcsa: Means Catfish in Hungarian.

>Nyna: Means "enclosure of fish" in Babylonian, but it sounds kind of like Nya/Nyan too (onomatopoeia for cats in japanese). Also, niña in spanish translate to little girl (which is cute).

Non-canon, random order:

* Johnrosesprite = Spring, Aurora

>Spring: When there's a lot of sun but breeze as well.

>Aurora: Girl-name (so perfect for Junerosesprite); an Aurora in italian also refers to Northern Lights, which are formed through "solar winds" (at least that's how we call them).

^* Rosejadesprite = Spring (it's perfect here too!!), Wisteria

>Spring: There is SUN, the FLOWERS blossom!!!

>Wisteria: Purple flower that is toxic to cats and dogs (and horses, if you care).

* Aradavesprite = Jikan, Horatia/o

>Jikan: Means Time in Japanese.

>Horatia/o: Latin names that means Timekeeper (or Hour, Time, Season). Horatia is feminine while Horatio is masculine, I imagine them simply switch from day to day.

* Jadekansprite (Jade+Kanaya) = Lotus, Zhade

>Lotus: Frogs often use Lotus leaves (alternative to frog leaves, called "common plantain" lol).

>Zhade: French name that means "precious stone". It's Jade in french, basically.

* Johnluxsprite = Netsky, Cloud

>Netsky: It's a PC virus. I choose it because of its name. Obvious reasons.

>Cloud: Another word for name srr, but John=Wind/Sky, Sollux=PC, Cloud=The thing on the sky & The App(s) (there are many).

* Solkatsprite (/Katluxsprite) = Downup, Moros

>Downup: One of the names of a powerful virus, which locks all accesses to infected advices and that permits to others to control the device from distance. It mostly uses fake anti-virus programs to spread - like "scareware" (it was used as a war weapon too).

>Moros: In Greek means "Doom"/"Impending Doom", but it also looks like moron so of course I had to include it.

* Rosekansprite = Rosemary, Ambrosia

>Rosemary: Yes, their ship name. But it simply fits!!

>Ambrosia: It's the Gods' food; Ambrosia is the *pollen* that Gods drink to stay immortal.

* Calliejadesprite = Titan, Oxalis

>Titan: Could be just me flashing like crazy, but anyways the Titans where the children of Heaven (Calliope, a Cherubin) and Earth (Jade, who saved Earth + plants + green + oh my god).

>Oxalis: It's a flower that looks like a candy cane.

* Davejadesprite = Saros

>Saros: A period of about 18 years between repetitions of solar and lunar eclipses.

* Calliroxysprite = Mojito

>Mojito: It's a "candy alcoholic drink", made with white rum, sugar, *lime juice*, soda water, and mint.

* Aratavsprite = Cornelius/Cornelia

>Cornelius/Cornelia: Means "horn" in Latin :) Cornelius=masculine, Cornelia=feminine.

* Nepquiusprite = Witten, Kamala

>Witten: Masculin Germanic name that means "Pale person" (also "Blonde" but ignore that part).

>Kamala: Hawaiian femminine name that means both "Lotus" and "pale red".

* Vriskansprite = Kyanite

>Kyanite: Blue-Green gemstone that has healing properties (allegedly), useful for low blood pressure, relief from physical pain, as well as a mind-calmer for trauma-recovery.

[loves1ckgirl]

Denki Kaminari with an online best friend

Denki x American! reader

Online friends + maybe romantic-ish

Note, I have no idea how to write in the grammar of someone learning English so I’m just avoiding contractions and using a bit of chat gtp to make the sentence to be a little more incorrect lol.

He initially met you while playing a FPS at 3am

The game between you and both was mostly silent aside from some English and Japanese cursing, Denki understood some what you said

You however; did not understand him, but assumed he was expressing the same frustration and wasn’t just getting upset at you

After your first game was played, he had sent you a few emojis and a little english

The game you had been playing along side some random from Japan had gone surprisingly well. It was such a bad game for the loser you wondered if it was because they were absolute garbage or all of a sudden you became a gaming god. As you leaned back in your chair and attempted to fix the knot that formed in your back from hunching, you looked back at your computer screen. There you see a friend and message request.

Kaminarieki

“You are good at playing. Can we play more?”

As you read the message, you decide to respond and pray he wasn’t some 30 year old incel. After all, you were bored, and a bit lonely.

After that first interaction, you would go on to play with him often

However, neither of you talked very often especially after you came to the conclusion you didn’t speak the same language

In the end, there were still some short convos

Kaminari liked these, as he thought you were cool

The fact that UA English classes were more rigorous helped him in talking to you (a hero needed to communicate with a large variety of people)

A couple of months in, he was struggling with his classes exponentially, and no amount of help by his friends would help him,

He then thought it was a good idea to message you and explain that he thought it would be nice to talk and learn through a fluent speaker instead

Kaminarieki

“Can we talk a lot I am learning English I think your cool.”

“I’m down. It’s late now though. I have school is tomorrow okay? Also, the your should be you’re”

Kaminari sends a cute little heart emoji,

“Yes. Thank you.”

For awhile, you’d avoid many abbreviations and some complex Slang

Eventually Kaminari had gotten more advanced and you spoke more casually

After exchanging Instagram and other accounts, instead of mostly talking as you guys played, it started during school and random times of day

The time difference didn’t mean much since the both of you had terrible sleep schedules

(Although, he was a bit more regular due to his hero school)

As you talked to him you obviously found more of his personality and it had become more endearing tbh

He’d most definitely google English pick up lines

Eventually as his friends noticed his behavior and how if he’d planned to play with you he’d decline

Also how he’d be texting more than before (mostly on his Sundays and Monday’s as you’d be awake the longest when he was.)

Lowkey hates the time difference tbh.

Anyway, as his friends noticed him typing away on those two days in particular they’d begun to ask questions about who he was texting

“My friend.” He’d say, looking up from the phone for a second before continuing the text. Mina had begun even more curious than previously.

“Whaaa? Friend? Who?” She asks, leaning over the couch and Kaminari’s shoulder. She sees joke flirty messages that he sends and receives.

He ended up telling them about you and explains that’s why his English grade was getting better

Anywayyy he’s overall super cute with you

Basically just being himself

If you ever wanted to learn Japanese he’d 100% do his best to help you enthusiastically

He tries his best to keep you updated since it’s its hard to talk to you regularly

[ayoharuko]

Genshin Impact Gf Headcanons

Hi there and welcome back :3

Hope u enjoy this one with our Inazuman girls!

Including: Raiden Ei, Yae Miko, Kamisato Ayaka, Naganohara Yoimiya, Kujou Sara & Sangonomiya Kokomi

REMINDER: These characters don't belong to me but to hoyoverse. As always this is all fictional work so pls try not to take things too serious :)

(Inazuma Girls)

~God of Eternity~ (Raiden Ei)

~Overprotective Girlfriend~

- With all the things Ei has lost...its obvious that she would be very overprotective of you..I mean..she knows how fragile humans are and how short their lifespans are..so..its better not to let you leave early....right?

- Expect the Raiden Shogun to sometimes follow you around, she's just worried ok!? With the Shogun’s eyes she can always see you...safe! So that’s what makes her mostly happy...is seeing you safe~

- She lets you in her Plane of Euthymia. Mostly makes it a more...pretty and peaceful place instead of scary...since she doesn't want you to be afraid whenever you want to visit her :)

- DON’T and I mean DON’T let her in the kitchen. She CAN’T COOK EVEN IF IT MEANS HER LIFES ON THE LINE. If you don’t wanna die of food poisoning...just cook something for her instead and make her STAY AWAY from the kitchen.

- If you know how to bake. Then she demands sweets from you EVERYDAY. Their just soo gooddd how can she resist them? and no need to worry about cavities she can just replace her teeth right?

- She’ll give you Japanese nicknames because she wants to :3

- Yae Miko would often tease you both(mostly you lol), but despite all that teasing...she is truly very happy that Ei found someone like you<3

- Ei will let you mess and style her hair, like it doesn't matter what she just wants you to touch her hair honestly...your touch is just soo smoothing and gentle that she just wants to lay on your lap while you stroke her hair... *sigh* she could stay like that for an eternity.

- Makoto and her friends would've liked you...she just knows it.

- Overall she is an overprotective yet sweet and very caring girlfriend but not really wife material hehe~

Nicknames: Daarin(darling), hanii(honey) and my world

Voice line about you: ‘’What brings you here traveler? Here for another fight perhaps? Haha..I'm joking, Hm? for me? ah! daarin send you to bring these dango’s to me? How lovely of them..hm. Now, I must ask you to leave traveler. Why? well its because I have...business to do!’’

When she talks to you: ‘’Hanii...i..I'm very sorry~ I know..you had told me that you don't like it when the Shogun follows you around but...what if you get attacked!? My world....I'm just worried about your safety...I can’t lose you after all...’’

~Sly Fox Lady~ (Yae Miko) 

~Flirty/Teasing Girlfriend~

-The most slyest fox lady of all, she has no mercy and will leave you a blushing, stuttering mess just for her entertainment, What a bully >:0

- But don't worry there are sometimes where she isn't constantly bullying you and on those times she just coos over you~, by that I mean treat you like your a baby lol

- She has definitely make a novel about you, no doubt about it. Its painfully obvious who the novel was for LMAO

- You’re the only one (and Ei) that has FULL PERMISSION to pet/rub her ears and tail, as well as her true form!

- In her true form she loves to be on your lap being petted by you, its very relaxing for little foxy yae~

- She also loves her belly being rubbed BUT SHE DOESN'T TELL YOU THAT.

- She actually has no shame in flirting with you in public. Your reactions are everything to her, It just cures her boredom :)

- Just like a fox, she tends to be very possessive at times and a little too...insensitive.

- She scents you by always hugging you, and she marks you by sometimes biting you randomly-

- I feel like she would gift you flowers from time to time...idk why :0

- She doesn't hesitate to defend you from things that may harm you, and she also doesn't hesitate to threaten and humiliate a person if they say something rude or mean to you. Weather its in front of you or behind your back, no one is gonna talk about her mate like that.

- She knows that she's insufferable sometimes buttt she gave her heart to you after all...so a little flirting and teasing in your relationship doesn't hurt anyone...right?

Nicknames: Little one, love, honey, darling, my mate and my rose 

Voice line about you: ‘’Hmm? You wish to know about my dear mate y/n? Hahaha..too bad~ I won't tell you hehehe~’’

When she talks to you: ‘’Honeyyy?, darling? *sighs* your still mad at me? alright alright...I apologize~ I won't do that again my rose, forgive me? please?’’

~Elegant Beauty~ (Kamisato Ayaka)

~Shy Girlfriend~

- SHES SUCH A CUTIE OMG *ahem* *ahem* I mean..she is very shy when it comes to your relationship!

- She blushes easily and stutters abut whenever you do something to fluster her -//-

- She knows she has to keep her elegant lady exterior in front of you but...why do you to be so gosh darn awesome? -////-

- One of the things you guys do whenever y'all spend time together is either spar or. she’ll teach you how to dance! She would guild you the steps and its just so romantic! <3

- Now...her brother Ayato, .he...doesn't mind you but was weary of you at first, but as soon as he saw how happy his sister was with you and how you loved her he...approved of you!

- Thoma also approves of you! He can't help but squeal whenever he sees you and his lady doing something cute together! >-<

- Since the is mostly inexperienced in being in a relationships she mostly relies on you to teach her how to do things, although the first time you guys cuddled together she couldn't look at you without a blush and lovestuck smile on her face~

- She loves gifting you flowers and some jewelry to show appreciation and love for you :)

- She sometimes gets nightmare about her parents and some other insecurities she has so please comfort her! Baby needs it :(

- Whenever her brother would ask when would she want to married and who? Her answer would be, ‘’Worry not brother, for I have found the person I would love to spend the rest of my life with’’

Nicknames: snowflake, my lover and love

Voice line about you: ‘’Traveler! May I ask you something? Ah yes...well..I was planning to surprise my lover y/n with some gifts, but...I don't know what I would love to gift them, so would you accompany me to the market?’’

When she talks to you: ‘’I a-apologize if sometimes I shy away from your affections....i...I'm just not used to it...but..I'll try my best!’’

~Queen of Summer~ (Naganohara Yoimiya)

~Sweetheart Girlfriend~

- The Queen of Summer and fireworks is the sweetest of them all! 

- She knows that life isn't sometimes that fun and great but...she really doesn't like it when your not happy or smiling! So..whenever you feel down...she’s your shoulders lean on and cry :)

- She takes you with her sometimes to test her fireworks, but obviously you have to stay a few meters away, she doesn't want you getting hurt now~

- Since fireworks are her passion and pride she would MELT if she notices you taking an interest in it, she just appreciates and loves you even more!

- Yoimiya would take you with her to entertain the kids of Narukami island because she thinks with you she because even more brighter and she thinks the kids love you more :3

- When the shrine held the test of courage test and you guys attended even when you were scared...she reassured you that she would protect and keep you all safe~

- Very affectionate, even in public, like she understands if you don't like PDA that much but she’ll still sneak in a few kisses and hand holding here and there.

- She sometimes would fungal over you lol, idk I just see that for yoimiya lol

- You’re the star that brightens her sunny day :3

Nicknames: My star, honey bun and cutie

Voice line about you: ‘’Have you heard about y/n traveler? Ah you have!? Yes I know! their the most coolest person I know kyaaaa~!’’

When she talks to you: ‘’honeyyy bunnn how would you love to be the first person..to see my new and improved firework that can make hearts!?’’

~Divine Priestess~ (Sangonomiya Kokomi)

~Caring Girlfriend~

- She cares for you like a delicate piece of coral~

- Since she's busy most of time...she really cherishes the time she gets with you..cause she knows that she could not come home to the comfort of your home for days or even weeks :(

- Kokomi HATES it when you get hurt...she personally heals you whenever you would get hurt..blood is normal for her but blood on you? Not normal...its horrible!

- She sometimes sends little water fishes to watch over you, usually its just there to keep you company, like a seelie almost :)

- She has insecurities and doubts about herself...not only that she also has lots of pressure...so in times where she's at that state please remind her that she's doing enough for everyone :)

- Kokomi knows how to make plans for future things about to come but...her journey with you is unpredictable, just like her love for you~

Nicknames: Dear, my coral and delicate flower

Voice line about you: ‘’Have you seen my s/o y/n? Ah..apologies traveler...last time they when on a tiny adventure without telling me they came back wounded and beaten...how reckless they truly are...’’

When she talks to you: ‘’My dear coral..please try to be careful next time..i...I cannot bear seeing you get hurt...’’

~Tengu Warrior~ (Kujou Sara)

~Protective Girlfriend~

- Sara is protective. But not that protective that its overwhelming! She's only protective when she knows you can't handle the situation~

- A simp. For you and for the Shogun...too shy to tell you obviously-

- When you guys are together she's like your personal bodyguard or something..always behind you..glaring at anyone who looks at you funny..being menacing and overall being scary....

- Sara doesn't like it whenever you go somewhere dangerous and alone...she knows you can protect yourself very well but...she can't help but still worry..

- Whenever your not looking at her she's looking at you. Why do you ask? Cause she thinks that you’re the most beautiful person ever....

- When danger is there she instinctively goes in front of you and holds an arm in front of you yelling to get behind her, she is not gonna let you get hurt.

- She teaches you how to use a bow :)

- Sara is loyal to you, maybe even more then she's loyal to the Shogun, so consider yourself lucky~

Nicknames: Idiot, dumbass, sweetheart and mine

Voice line about you: ‘’Y/n? Their a very admirable solider and good fighter as well as member in the Tenryu Commission. What? I am NOT having favoritism...just because their my lover!’’

When she talks to you: ‘’Idiot! What possessed you to fight fatui agents ALONE? I...was worried you know!’’

IM DONEEEE WITH INAZUMA GIRLS

I hope u guys liked this long post hehehe~

I’m free from exams and other stuff soo I can actually post more now! so stay tuned~

Anyways thanks for reading this far~!

requests and asks are still open :3

Reblogs and Feedback/Comments are always appreciated! :3

[thetoaddaddy]

thinkin about an au i was building but didn’t want to bore people with a really detailed au that they would have to read in order to understand it just for smut for my fic series that was mostly short one shots so let me drop it here

a longish explanation underneath. Cut it so you don’t gotta scroll through a big post

it be a deity au. In which the sannin and other prominent figures were well deities. Heavy influence was from japanese folklore and some games. You know how the god and goddess lists are pretty huge so it’s not totally out of reason to kinda make ur own sort of tree using the same kind of logic? Sorta like that.

But the basic rules of the universe was that gods were actual beings. And the more prayer, followers, renown, and general admiration the stronger they were. They can do what their intended tasks are. Like rain or good luck. They can roam beyond their shrine(to which they’re bound to almost like that was their real body. So if it falls into ruin so do they)

And my idea with this was basically both oro and tsuna had devout followers. And thus were pretty powerful and free roaming. Oro had more sinister vibes, a god of war and trickery. Tsuna was a goddess of healing, wisdom and prosperity. And thus they also had a lot of prayers to answer. So it was more of a mutual expectation of gods to their followers. If that makes sense. Like a balance of devotion so long as the prayers were answered. Almost like genshin? But not as complicated lmao. (And i thought of this before i played the funny anime game so dont @ me)

But in this instance jir was more of a forgotten god. Bound to his shrine up on a lonely mountain, his memory and consciousness barely in tact. With no one to feed him with basically attention and belief he’s sorta stuck in a limbo. Basically circling the drain. He doesn’t even remember what his role is like oro or tsuna do(not that it’s hard to guess lol). The only thing really keeping him from fully dying are some rather cute kitsune (sunshine boi and his parents) who at this point make sure he doesn’t accidentally fall off a cliff.

idk. I know it could be a little indulgent. Especially if all he gets is one or two people who just sorta stumble upon him. Which means he slowly remembers who he is and if ya nasty fall in love.

I like thinking outside the box when it comes to aus for our muses. And this is a bit of a mashup of various lores from various sources and our own mentally ill mind.

But I’ve always wanted to do something with it. Especially with muses who tap into the japanese folklore. Its one of those worlds where it’s not just the gods its demons too. Onis, ghosts, weird sentient hair combs with a vendetta, goblins, ghouls. All that cool interesting stuff that makes japanese folklore so cool. I see it as the classic setting, more feudal fantasy than anything modern.

[vacantgodling]

tsokhizhe finally has a full government name (because i found a nice word generator for conlanging so i'm gonna just. use it)

so his full government name is:

kori-tsokhizhemasonen

(pronounced: ko rri (rolled r) tso (like tsunami so pronounce the t with ur teeth) key zeh mah so nen)

sorry that pronunciation guide is ass im just tryna make it easy for the masses

the name itself fully translates to "she who smites the sun" and as a treat have a little breakdown of what each part of his name means:

KORI -> "she who" -> this is part of this story's gendered naming structure. as i explained in a previous post, tl;dr you aren't allowed to not have a gender sorry that's an affront to god/the spirits whatever. HOWEVER gender is not determined based on genitalia, it is determined by what part of the year you were born in. if you were born during the growing season (march through august) then you're considered masculine and if you were born during the dying season (september through february) you're considered feminine. and then then each gender has two categories: lower and higher. higher gender essentially refers to someone who has royal blood, which is determined not just by clan status but mostly due to affinity and sensitivity to god/the spirits, aka an affinity for magic. (these people do tend to end up being leaders or nobles of clans though so, its not completely divorced from class). lower is everyone else. the higher feminine pronoun is "kori" because the pronoun she is ko; the ri part is what makes it higher gender as ri translates to "who" because it is implying that you have some measure of control over the world around you, aka magic. basically. so when they say "she who smites the sun" (when referring to tsokhizhe himself), they mean that his birth was responsible, due to his affinity to the gods, for the eclipse that happened on his birthday (this is a bad omen also but i'm not getting into the weeds of that rn lol). also, because it is a higher gender word, it is placed before someone's name, as like an honorific. to gender someone's name (as all names MUST be gendered in this society) if they're a lower gender, you just end the name with the suffix '-ko'. so in tsokhizhe's case, lets say he was lower feminine, then his name would simply be tsokhizheko. (though it'd be more likely he'd be named sonenko if he was lower gender but again that's weeds and i'm already rambling enough).

TSOKHIZHE -> "smite"

MA -> a particle word, which, essentially means "to do". if you have any familiarity with japanese then you absolutely know where i'm going with this concept but basically in making tsokhizhe's name i ended up deciding that the language itself is one that utilizes 'particle words' that have broad meanings to relate different concepts together. so here, have a better worded explanation from this article i just found lmao

so "ma" in (insert language name i have yet to decide on yet) also has a similar system and 'ma' means "to do something" or, in the concept of naming enacting your will upon something. so like even though you understand my meaning when i say "she who smites the sun" to them, its saying like "i alone am the one who caused the sun to darken". if that makes sense

SONEN -> "sun"

SO. YEAH. I DID THE THING. I MADE HIS FULL GOVERNMENT NAME. YIPPEE

[rottenpumpkin13]

Your body dysmorphia post has me Thinking.

Sephiroth and Genesis bodies are ultimately, very much for show.

Sephiroth is built for precision and agility, his blade and skillset meant for quick efficient culling of large groups of enemies or getting to weak spots on monsters. Like a scalpel. His muscles are mostly for his image, rather then from actual training. The mako makes sure he doesn't need as much physical mass for strength.

Genesis is similar. He's naturally slender, and his image is VERY much appearance focused. I mean hes a magic caster above all, so he's built for speed and dodging.

But Angeal? Angeal is all brute fucking force. That man is STRONG and built for it. You see wrestlers and professional strongman with his build, people meant to hit hard and move weight around. He's like an ox. He puts weight on differently then the other two, and he's a foodie! (Also there's probably something with growing up in relative poverty and then not being there anymore.)

And it is honestly inevitable that they're going to be compared. Their the three Firsts, they're seen together a LOT in pr events and such. And its even more inevitable Angeal is going to compare himself as well.

Angeal's phisyque is impressive and I don't doubt Genesis envies him for it sometimes. He's strong and puts on muscle easily, which I imagine is extremely valued in SOLDIER. I agree, the comparisons are inevitable and I could see it affecting all three of them (even Sephiroth, who could favor Gen and Angeal's more "human" looks over his own).

I beg you to forgive my mini rant under the cut. I fell down a rabbit hole, got keyboard-happy, and want to share my thoughts with you lol.

Assuming the east-Asian male beauty standards are the same in the FF7 world, Angeal is essentially friends with two of the most⏤if not the most⏤attractive men on the planet. He would have grown up seeing Sephiroth and Genesis receive praise and admiration for their looks and constantly being compared to them.

I’m not sure what influenced Angeal’s character design exactly, though we can say that Sephiroth and Genesis’ designs are in contrast to the Western ideals, Genesis more so because he was based off of Gackt (specifically Gackt in the 2000s), which means his design adheres to the east-asian male beauty standard. The two are so contrasting because the east-Asian male standards promote more androgynous and softer looks as opposed to the West’s fixation on hyper-masculinity.

I would say Sephiroth is a mix of both. While his design is inspired by Japanese historical figures and features that give him that “bishonen” appeal, his overall design is pretty masculine. He’s tall and muscular. His body, overall fits into the West’s standards while his face is ethereal enough for us to fit it into the east-Asian standards. Aspects that the West would consider effeminate such as the long hair actually used to indicate a warrior’s class. Funnily enough, long hair as a symbol of masculinity used to be a thing across many cultures, not just in Japan.

The thing about Angeal is, he is attractive. He fits the Western male beauty standard down to a T with traits such as being tall, having a muscular build, square jaw, and facial hair. But if indeed the FF7 world’s equivalent of male beauty is the same as Japan’s… Well, maybe getting compared to Sephiroth and Genesis gets to him.

Don’t get it wrong, the comments about his appearance are usually positive, but they’re always about how “strong and ripped and big” he is. Not to mention he constantly gets told how much older he looks than Sephiroth and Genesis despite being the same age as them.

He doesn’t feel attractive, he feels useful. He sees his body as a tool to get his job done. He has the body of a warrior, a Soldier. It’s built for fighting. The problem is, he’s constantly compared to his friends—the same friends who get compared to angels. They stand out, they’re pleasing to look at. He may be at an advantage with his brute force and ideal masculine physique, but—and I cannot stress this enough—men are not immune to body image issues and eating disorders.

I’ll admit that this headcanon partially stemmed from comments I’ve seen about Angeal’s appearance within the fandom. Some people think he’s ugly, which is fine, no one is forced to find anyone attractive. But I imagine the hurtful comments and the constant comparisons to his “more attractive” friends could hurt Angeal if he were to see them in his day to day life. He may be an enhanced super-soldier, but he's still human.

Again, please forgive the word vomit. I just have so many thoughts on this lol

[youkaigakkou-tl]

(I don't know how to read japanese, and my speech is loosely based on anime, so apologies if I'm completely off target...)

I'm fascinated with etymology and like looking/studying the potential meaning behind the characters name, especially when names are a word play on the nose regarding their abilities.

I looked on an "online dictionary for Youkais", and most of the translations contain the word "Monk" in the name.

Regarding what had been said in YoHaji, about humans becoming Youkais after commiting a crime (sin?), does it means the first Youkais were unfaithful monks?

(sorry for the long ask, unable to word stuff concisely==;)

this is actually something that has plagued me for literal years, words for "monk" being in youkai names. im just not good enough at japanese to read analysis by japanese folklorists myself, and this is perhaps too obscure of a topic for there to be translations of. (an obscure linguistic detail of youkai, an already somewhat niche topic)

to preface, the words that often appear in youkai names and mean "monk" or some other position in a buddhist temple, are:

kozou (小僧): lit. "Little monk"; also just used as a word for "child"

nyuudou (入道): lit. "Entering the (buddhist) way"; someone who has shaved their head and entered buddhism.

bouzu (坊主): lit. "Owner of the monastery"; but later became a general word for monks.

douji (童子): lit. "child"; but in the context of buddhism, this is used as the translation for the sanskrit word "kumāra", and refers to children who become disciples at a buddhist temple and do servant work for the most part.

if i may be so bold, i think there's (at least) 2 layers to this

layer 1: it's a superficial resemblance

this seems to be the most common take i've seen.

most of the youkai that have these in the name have some superficial resemblance, whether they're described as having bald heads, or maybe they're seen walking slowly alone at night, perhaps chanting something to themselves. this is somewhat to the effect of calling something "the bald monster", wherein it gives a superficial image of how to know when you've seen this "thing".

and for some cases, mostly with the word "kozou", the word is just used as a general term for "boy" or "person", much like we have words like babygirl and catboy (which unexpectedly does not have an exact japanese equivalent, now that i think about it. closest thing thats used casually is nekomimi) perhaps just as we find the use of words that mean "boy" but also "monk" in youkai names strange, someone from a different background might find it strange that the combination of "baby" and "girl" refers to a disheveled adult man, or that catboy can refer to an adult man with cat traits even though "boy" clearly insinuates "child".

although, it's hard to tell what the original form of such youkai with these words in the name were or were intended to be, and how much of their visual resemblance to monks by artists who came afterwards was inspired by the fact that a word for "monk" was in the name. chicken and egg problem. (much like how youkai media nowadays, and series that involve humanized versions of inanimate objects use past stories and etymology to inspire their look. the artists of old probably didn't expect the works they left behind to be used as a record of what life was like back then, imagine if future historians use FGO and touken ranbu as historical reference LOL)

the idea of these youkai being something that became of a monk for one reason or another seems to be present in english perspectives on youkai, although not corroborated by japanese authors, so perhaps this is again a case of inferring and assigning meaning that wasn't there, or wasn't meant to be there. (source)

but this all begs the question...

layer 2: what does it mean linguistically?

the word for "child" also meaning "monk" is strange and specific, isn't it? or is it the other way around?

im so mad. its like this every time. when i trace every question about japanese linguistics or folklore back to the source it always goes all the way back to 1500 years ago (about 5th century AD) to the arrival of buddhism and the advent of written records in japan!!!! im not a linguist or historian im not good enough to disentangle all this!!!! or keep all my history facts straight!!!

the long and short of it is, buddhism contributed a large part to the advent of writing in japan, with the importance it placed in copying scriptures. buddhism was largely influential throughout early japan written history, and prior to the heian era was incorporated into the governance system. the heian era saw the founding of enryaku-ji on mount hiei, one of the most influential temples of the time and origin of the tendai school of buddhism, which was the leading school at the time, and founders of later schools of buddhism in japan almost all originated from it. this is all to say, enryaku-ji and mount hiei are two very prominent locations that appear in a lot of folklore and youkai stories.

mentioned in the essay "story of the shinoda wife" by folklorist orikuchi shinobu are "doji villages", specifically mentioned in the context of mount hiei, which are servant villages to buddhist temples, where the children go to work in the temple and are called "douji", which in turn becomes what their villages are called. the fact that he goes into detail about what these are, and also explains the use of "douji" to refer to buddhist child disciples rather than just "child" in general, could mean that these are particularly obscure tidbits.

(i actually came across this essay when i was looking up kuzunoha, and the play where abe no seimei was named "doji" as a child. orikuchi posits that monks started a temple in the village called abeno, and so "abeno doji" became a familiar phrase to locals, and so it became part of stories and plays)

if i may be so bold as to make assumptions, i think its possible that monks, who were influential, literate, and the source of not an insignificant amount of literature from the time, referred to figures in stories with honorifics from the organizational structure they're familiar with, and common folk adopted the vocabulary too. (this is perhaps similar to how you're referred to with honorifics like "sir" or "madam" in letters from official organizations even if you're not necessarily on the same level of importance as the person the letter represents.)

of course, this is just assumptions, and if i had any concrete conclusions this wouldnt have and continue to plague me for years.

resources:

hyakumonogatari.com - a huge blog of translations of essays on youkai

kotobank.jp - japanese dictionary thats particularly good for words with more cultural background

japanesewiki.com - an accurately, manually translated resource of the japanese version of japan cultural wikipedia pages

Shinoda Tsuma no Hanashi by Orikuchi Shinobu - an analysis essay on the play "Ashiya Douman Ouchi Kagami" (which is actually about abe no seimei LMAO and prominently features kuzunoha), doesnt have a english translation

The Artist is Absent (The Beginners Guide analysis) by Innuendo Studios - yeah this one isnt relevant at all. its a literary analysis of the videogame The Beginner's Guide (2015). but i just think anyone who wants to do any amount of thinking about stories and folklore should watch this video and also play this game.

[plague-of-insomnia]

I'm sorry if this is a silly question but I'm just curious. Do you know how much time Ciel and Sebastian spend in Weston? I haven't read the manga in a while but while watching the anime I just feel like everything is happening too fast??? Luke the whole are was done in 2 weeks max

Hi, anon, I am not someone who pays super close attention to the chronology of canon (as in, exactly what day/date things happen) partly bc I care more about the overall story and themes and the characters than minutiae like that. Not bc I think people who do are dumb but bc I’m more of an AU creator than canon so knowing the details like that to extreme doesn’t really benefit me much so it doesn’t interest me to spend the time doing it. (Though I know at least one person did come up with a timeline through a certain point in the manga years ago, which you may find if you do a google search.)

But what I can tell you is Ciel comes home from the Campania before Easter and arrives at Weston presumably after that holiday, so likely in March or April. (I could probably find out exactly when Easter happened in 1889 but I honestly could care less lol.) We also know from McMillian that he is joining mid-term. It’s actually a clever way for Yana to have the school “begin” in Spring (which is familiar/nostalgic for Japanese audiences, where school years begin in April, usually) while still reconciling with the Western tradition of beginning in the fall.

We also know the cricket tournament takes place on the 4th of June—probably a day Yana picked since it plays with the theme of four (four houses, four prefects) in the arc but also because the number has an association with death in Japanese.

This means that Ciel is not a student at Weston for very long at all—only 2-3 months at most—since the midnight tea party happens after the cricket completes and presumably marks the end (or close to it) of the school year/term.

Honestly, until the last episode I think the anime has been perfectly paced with the manga. They’ve really made only minor shifts and mostly expanded things, so they’re following Yana’s vision fairly closely.

The one major thing is that this episode shoves most of two chapters into one, when it really could have been done in two. But that would mean 12 episodes. and I suspect the team was worried if they didn’t get the cricket part over fast, they might risk losing/boring their core audience.

One huge change they did was take out the explanation of the game itself and its basic rules, which Bard explains in the manga. This was likely done for time/space reasons but also because they may have figured most viewers don’t care and they can communicate enough for people to understand and follow along even if they don’t understand the rules of the game itself.

This is partly perhaps because the cricket part of the arc was not well received in Japan and was one of the least popular chapters, supposedly. It’s why I was shocked they turned it into a musical a couple years ago.

I was a bit disappointed to lose all that not only bc we lost a nice scene with Bard and the servants (they cut a scene with them where they have lunch, though it’s possible that could make it into next episode, but I won’t hold my breath), but also bc I’m like the ONE person who genuinely enjoyed the cricket part of the arc, and it’s one reason this arc is my second favorite in many ways.

I LOVE seeing Ciel and Seb working together in devious ways to get their mission accomplished, and how far Ciel is willing to go to win. Ofc we can still appreciate it anyway, but the fact that he so carefully works within the limits of the rules— and in fact, I learned in commentary on the arc that some of the rules Ciel takes advantage of were actually changed not long after this period of time, which is a fun detail.

So it could be things feel like they’re moving fast because in a sense they are, but it also could be you’re sensing that urgency from how rushed this last episode was. But I suspect when all is said and done, and you watch the entire thing, it probably won’t feel as off. Book of Murder took place over only 3 days, and Seb and Ciel were not at the circus long at all. I can’t be sure but maybe only a week or two? And ofc the campania adventure was also only a few days. In fact, this may actually be the longest mission in the series to this point. So it seems like most missions don’t take too long.

Hope that answers your question! I’ve been looking through the chapters in this arc before every episode to get a sense for the pacing and they’ve generally fallen exactly where I expect. This episode being one exception since they really did condense a lot.

[h0neybane]

sooo i rewatched spirited away last night... HERE'S THE SECOND DORM!!

Kamikyūkei: Based on the Loneliness of the Faceless Spirit

i lied again LOL last night i said i was gonna make yubaba the figure but nope!!! its no-face! he's too iconic i couldn't leave him out. I WILL SAY THOUGH the dorm leader (which i eventually plan to make an oc for) IS based on yubaba. more on that + etymology + design choices under the cut! (SPOILERS FOR SPIRITED AWAY)

starting with etymology AGAIN!! i kind of just slammed some japanese words together so i hope it doesnt sound too clunky 😭i did the same thing with serencor but it was welsh and latin that time sooo

kamigami: according to the ghibli wiki, "spirits refers to divine, or spiritual, or mysterious beings that play key features in the films spirited away and princess mononoke. they are referred as kamigami (霊々, lit. "ghosts", means "gods") in spirited away." i decided on this word since the kamigami play a huge role in the story of spirited away

kyūkei: rest, break, recess, intermission; i took this word since the kamigami in spirited away are resting at the bathhouse!

so i just. smackd them together. and thats how i got the name!!! moving onto design...

i think no-face's mask smacked in the middle of the logo is. there for pretty obvious reasons 😭

the building is based off the bathhouse itself! albeit, being a very very simplified version

the gold lining the bottom is a reference to no-face summoning all the gold himself, and the lamp (lantern?) is from those shots of the streets (theyre SO pretty!!) i kinda wanted to put smaller ones throughout the design but i thought it would be too detailed

the little sign for the name is actually the same shape as the sign for the bathhouse!

i considered adding some more gems if i did make the dorm based on yubaba, but i didnt think it would fit. i also considered adding soot sprites but they were a bit of a random addition amongst the bathhouse since they mostly reside in the boiler room.

before i get into ideas for the dorm, i have a BUNCH of ideas for ocs!!!

yubaba oc (third year) is the dorm leader, and haku (second year) is the vice dorm leader

no-face/kaonashi is either a second year or a third year, but he's an important part to the story (if i DO write one)

lin oc is a second year and i think she'd help guide the chihiro oc through the dorm!

kamaji oc is a staff memnber! i'd like to think he still runs the boiler room but also does maintenance for other places in the school too

now onto ideas for the dorm itself... (i wrote down so many while i was watching)

the dorm is modeled after the bathhouse. definitely. 100%

i think the dorm is very similar to octavinelle in the sense that the dorm leader is the boss and the students are employees! they run the bathhouse for spirits from the spectral realm

i thijk they take care of pigs like how heartslabyul has flamingos and hedgehogs instead of slaughtering them for meat like in the movie. little piggies :3

like the movie, the bathhouse is only operates in night time, but i think it'd be interesting if the pocket dimension itself had longer nights and shorter days since the students still need to sleep for their classes

some traditions in the dorm include big sleepovers (reference to all the girls sleeping next to each other in the movie) and big feasts (reference to no-face's feast + chihiro's parents)

i also think that the dorm would be very important for halloween since it's so connected to spirits!

i think the dorm uniform is based on what chihiro, lin, and the other workers wear at the bathhouse, while the dormleader is based on yubaba's outfit and has a lot of gems and such

that's all for now! i think im gonna go write the next part of the ZVA world-building... as always, feel free to send me input!

[rayfishandchips]

Ace Attorney is fun for language reasons

So Ace Attorney. For some reason it managed to involve ever single language I've ever dabbled with.

I watched the English dub version of the anime so I know all the English names. I know enough German to understand the German references in the English version (with the Von Karmas and the Gavins, and occasional fanon Edgeworth).

Then this is the tricky part. I know enough Japanese to know the correct pronounciations of the names when I see them, but not the exact meanings because I'm very rusty. However, I speak Chinese, so I can directly read enough Japanese characters in the names to know the Chinese translation. Since Chinese is similar to Japanese in terms of characters having both a meaning of its own and a pronounciation value* I can infer the meaning of the original Japanese names and get the puns in the translated English names. For example, Mitsurugi Reiji is translated to Miles Edgeworth because the original name involves the character that means "sword".

So the whole aa fixation experience is so fun for me. What a unique experience, I love it when a bunch of languages mix up.

-language rants below-

*not sure how to explain this, but in Chinese and Japanese there're no "alphabets". You can't directly translate names by translating the English letters into the native alphabet. Instead, you need to find characters that sound similar to the original name, and conjure a combination that makes a similar overall sound as the og name. These combinations usually mean almost nothing in Chinese/Japanese.

The characters in Chinese and Japanese have their own inherent meaning (such as sword in Edgeworth's case) as well as pronounciation (the sound of it). There are often multiple characters that sound the same, so there can be many correct answers. Choosing characters with positive connotations is meant to create positive character images, and negative connotations for negative images. In Japanese/Chinese-English translations, the pronounciation is kept, but the meaning is mostly lost. The English dub actually exceeded my expectations when they managed to keep some of the meaning through puns.

However this "find a combination that sounds like it" approach is not the main one in Japanese-Chinese translations of names. Instead of finding sound-alikes, translators convert the Japanese characters to corresponding Chinese characters (and they often look REALLY similar to each other).

Be warned: I am not professional in translation and I barely passed my basic Japanese in 10th grade, so this is really poorly explained.

My point is just "having a bunch of very different languages mix is so fun" lol why did I end up writing sm

Anyways if you read this whole thing you have my respect.

[kaiserposting]

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

hi. a few days ago i read perpetual chase for greener grass and i asked if it was okay to write you an essay. well. i did and it is 25 pages long (double-spaced, w/ a title page, footnotes, and a bibliography, i'm not insane. honest.) on sakura characterization and misogyny and a little about why i like your fanfic so much. you can i think read this here, if the link works: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/bicwciufqc49203xmvzoa/you-didnt-ask-for-this-and-im-sorry.pdf?rlkey=fcob3k3lvokzkfg2gi0z3hh2f&st=83vb0rm6&dl=0

it's not particularly funny or interesting and while i try to stick to my thesis i'm sure there is a lot in here that doesn't need to be. as a warning it has been forever since i read naruto and i have nver read boruto so i be wrong on some places, although i did try my best to research and support my claims. to save you some time if you choose to read it, i'll break down the sections:

page 1: title

pages 2-4 (very top): intro with context about naruto, with thesis starting at the very bottom of 3

pages 4-5 (midway): on canon sakura

pages 5-7 (very top): explanation of misogyny and premise of essay

pages 7-16: analysis of sakura's characterization through 8 fanfic examples

pages 16 (bottom) - 18 (midway): analysis of perpetual chase for greener grass specifically

pages 18-21 (top): reflection on examples and their significance

pages 21-23: another analysis of perpetual chase for greener grass and what makes it so good

pages 24-25: bibliography

you really don't need to read this all and you don't need to feel obligated to write a response. ik i sound insecure but its more like i don't want anytone to get their hopes up on what is technically a silly-for-funsies essay dkfjsd THAT SAID... i do invite feedback especially constructive criticism or discussion on my points... i don't want to use your blog as a platform for it more than this so if i may plug my side blog @moonlitjellies people can talk to me there with questions concerns thoughts etc

thanks

OK YAYYY SAKURA DISCUSSION TIMR

First off all...... Here is the link in the ask for anyone who wants to read What were talking about: x / link to the fanfiction i wrote taht is mentioned in the essay: x

Anywaysssss

This is funny

I do think nowadaysss... or like for a few years since I became an oldr teenager and then an adult... the fun of being into Naruto comes Mostly from the fandom side of it. Like all the reinterpreting the characters, meta, AUs, etc, I think are prolific more here than most other fandoms (perhaps because in other fandoms it's just... less necessary lol). There was a lot of wasted potential in kishimoto's writing Unforchies... Particularly I am a fan of reading and writing about Sakura ^_^^_^^_^ but we knew that lol so why am I saying it?

Fun fact: Sakura is actually a lot more popular and beloved among the Japanese audience. I don't really know what that says about the Western audience & their expectations for the heroines 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

YAYYYY WE GET A MENTION OF MY LEAST FAVORITE TROPE WHICH IS Homophobic Sakura randomly getting in the way of their yaoi and being evil. Wait the fact that the first fanfic you mentioned was written/last updated in 2024 is wild wow.. I was reading it under the assumption it's some 2009-2014 FF.net relic RKWEKREJR (because I think that trope was more predominant then. I know you yourself are not dogging on this fic or condemning it so maybe I'm being mean but I do think the production of such a thing in Todays Age a bit ridiculous personally). Although it does provide a good example of uplifting being a gay man through belittling women, making them seem frivolous and incomplex in comparison, an efficient example of a still existing social trend

IKTR #girlboss #femalemanipulator 😍😍😍😍😍

This is an irrelevant side note... as a Sakura scholar... I do think of her as a tomboy. Particularly in part 1 I find her presentation as one of a tomboy badly performing femininity because she thinks that's what will attract the object of her affection because He's a Boy.

I don't believe it fits Sakura or most of the Naruto women who are ninjas and career women and clan leaders to be stay at home mothers or even mothers at all in Boruto, but it was for sequel bait so idk how much we can condemn Kishimoto for that writing decision lolllll. Like obviously there is patriarchal bias here (having a family maybe to him and many shounen writers comes across as wrapping up the story as like a sense of "achievement" and "fulfillment" has been made without having to write an extensive epilogue esp. for the girls due to existing preconceptions that women only get life affirmation from becoming mothers, though I do not agree that is the case, and a lot of shounen post-canon families, not just those in Naruto, ironically come across as very unhappy due to such fumbling), but I think it was mostly an excuse to have a big chunk of the cast off-duty and have children so that Boruto could exist and the kids could do stuff. There is both misogyny and misogyny weaponized to create opportunity here Ig as a marketing ploy imo (also possibly to come across as more likeable to the audience bc they are mothers now, taking advantage of the existing mass subconscious bias).

Waittt this is word salad whell whatever im not editing it idc...take it or leave it

Im sooo sorry but I DIDN'T EXPECT WEREWOLF ITACHI TO SHOW UP HERE 😭😭😭. Ok anyways let me not speak because that's not the point of what you're talking about anyway it just caught me off guard...

OK ANYWAY WE COME TO THE PART I GET MOST EXCITED TALKING ABOUT... MYSELF !! 😍

Since you start off by saying we the audience are meant to like Sakura I guess I'll talk a little bit about how I perceive her here (which I don't believe I have done before).

It's hard to say if she is completely likeable here or not. I think among many of the characters who make shitty decisions and say shitty things or show unfavorable personality traits, Sakura is more "agreeable" and easy to like than them. But I also think a lot of her actions are a bit ambiguous. I know you talk within the essay strictly about Sakura and not so much so the specifics of the Ino-Sakura friendship/almost-romance or the Reader-Ino-Sakura situation but I will talk about it here since that's the reason why I find Sakura slightly "questionable" (and the reason why that decision was made).

Sakura is presented in my fic as having more of a "traditional" upbringing, I don't believe super tradcath freak parents but more so what the average woman could possibly go thru - raised with certain patriarchal expectations. I think here she doesn't get in a lot of trouble and is generally perceived as others to be good, quiet, restrained as you called it, i.e. fitting the patriarchal ideal.

But because of this, I think some resentment (subconscious or to some extent she is aware of it) starts to build. She doesn't like these expectations and she doesn't like herself for seemingly fitting into them and she doesn't like others for viewing her that way. So she starts acting out slightly in a way others wouldn't expect of her like for example hanging out "with the boys" even after Ino stops going, smoking weed, whatever who cares... But the questionable part is particularly in the form of Y/n (who is at this point Ino's partner) and Ino herself.

Y/n very obviously I think has a wandering eye. They are not quite infidelious but they come across often like they want to cheat. I think Sakura is aware of this, particularly that she is in some way the apple of their eye at certain moments (unknown whether she is the only one), but indulges in it because it gives her a feeling of "being bad" and fulfills her desire to be "rebellious".

Ino is her best friend who Sakura is defensive and protective of and thinks no one deserves her (I think there are some homoerotic feelings at play pretty obviously here but she was raised in such a heteronormative way she doesn't register things like that, which is made obvious when Y/n says they think Naruto and Sasuke are gay and Sakura is like huh really? - not judgemental of it but just like genuinely surprised), yet at the same time she is getting some amount of gratification from Y/n's attention on her and there are many times where she doesn't seem interested in telling Ino that or telling Y/n off (almost as if she doesn't want to lose their attention not because she likes them as a person but because of what their attention fulfills for her in this phase of her life - the feeling of "acting out" and "being bad"). Anyway I consider this decision of hers to do this some shade of gray but I do not believe it's a crime and I think the fic itself focusing on her POV still leaves her as portrayed positively i.e. just as a person who sometimes makes sympathetic decisions and other times doesn't and who has many problems in her life that lead to those things.

Also I tried to be gender ambiguous about the Reader here as usual in most of my works but since the story largely deals with gender and sexuality I would describe their character as functioning as "socially male" whether that be just a regular cis boy, some closeted genderfuck spectrum case, or a butch lesbian who was rejected from the typical girl groups in childhood and therefore tries to fit in more with "the boys", or any other possibility - which is why their attention serves Sakura who otherwise is oblivious of LGBT things to an extent. Like for example Naruto and Sasuke both come across as pretty typical boys so she does not consider they might be gay (again coming from the way she was raised where someone is only obviously gay if they are GNC - "if you got a pixie cut the neighbors will think ur a lesbiannnn and that's badddd it's badddd if they think ur a lesbiannnn").

I also tried to do a bit of a role reversal flip here where instead of Sakura solely exists as a one note character who is defined by her love for Sasuke (common in both Naruto and fanfiction), it is Sasuke who comes across as quite one dimensional and is defined by his relationship with Sakura instead. There are several hints that his character and story here are more complicated but it is simply not of interest. It's a bit of a fringe choice and makes his character portrayal look admittedly weak and OOC/inaccurate but I quite enjoyed presenting it that way you know as a little laugh to myself.

Yayayayaya lovely work thank you so much! I was glad to read it and enjoyed it a lot, though the topic of misogyny/gender roles does often make me quite angry (particularly why this one shot was written with a lot of vitriol in like two writing sessions, I think I was mad at the time about all this, like straight up just woke up angry about it) I think it's important to engage with it and I thik u did a good job ^_^. I don't have any criticisms of it, I think it was solid and engaging 👍 but maybe I am biased... lol. Thank you for writing and sending it!! Hopefulyl my reply wasn't stupid/irrelevant lawl