#mostly he's a dick

[abisalli]

A Robin lineup of sorts :) (sorry for no Carrie, Maps or Matthew... I was tired)

[charlietheepicwriter7]

The Joker was apprehended, sitting on the ground as Batman guarded him, but the kid--"Bruce Wayne's newest ward, how tragic! Hehehe!"--was nowhere to be found. Nightwing and Red Hood desperate searched the warehouse until a shuffling noise grabbed their attention.

A kid, black haired just like the kid in the Joker's broadcast, crawling out of a pile of boxes. "Is it over?" the boy asked quietly.

Nightwing guided him to the only exit, unfortunately walking past the boy's own kidnapper. "Yeah, kid. It's over. Come on-"

Like a shot, the boy rushed the Joker and kicked him right in the balls.

The Joker wheezed like a dying squeaky toy. Red Hood froze. Nightwing immediately snatched the boy up by the armpits, but all that did was give the boy the height to attack again, punting Joker in the jaw. The clown went down and cracked his head on the floor. He did not get back up.

There was a moment of silence before Red Hood roared with laughter, his helmet distorting the sound.

[churochoru]

I have brainrot after watching invincible

Extra v cause I though lineless was cute

I was inspired by “DC meets traumatised teen” by UnknownAlicia on Ao3

[zhelin-thames]

Now pay interest - 10% per year

Masterpost

As the Bat-family processed what had just happened, Jason was already plotting.

“So,” Jason began, a wicked grin spreading across his face, “does this mean we have a ghost King in the family now? Because I’ve got so many questions.”

“Focus, Todd,” Damian snapped, though his own curiosity was evident in his furrowed brow. “That... entity was clearly powerful. Father, why did you not inform us of this connection sooner?”

Bruce didn’t even glance up from his computer. “It was irrelevant.”

“Irrelevant?” Dick exclaimed, gesturing wildly. “A glowing ghost guy just popped out of a portal in our cave to collect a debt, and you think it’s irrelevant?”

Tim, typing furiously, pulled up the mission logs from Bruce’s early years. “Okay, I think I found the mission in Prague where this all went down. It says here... wait. Danny wasn’t just some guy you ran into. You trained with him in the League of Assassins?”

Steph leaned over Tim’s shoulder to read. “Wait, what?! He’s an assassin ghost King?”

Jason let out a low whistle. “This just gets better and better.”

Duke raised his hand, hesitant. “Uh, just a thought… if he’s the Ghost King, doesn’t that mean he has control over, like, all ghosts? Including... uh, Lazarus Pits?”

Everyone froze. Slowly, they all turned to Bruce, whose expression darkened slightly.

“Yes,” Bruce admitted reluctantly.

“Holy crap,” Jason said, leaning back with a stunned look. “He’s the reason the Pits freaked me out after I came back, isn’t he? I thought it was just the resurrection thing, but you knew he was tied to them!”

Bruce’s silence was answer enough.

“I want to meet him,” Cass signed firmly.

“Seconded,” Duke added. “He seems cool.”

“No,” Bruce said, finally standing and cutting through the rising chatter. His tone was firm, brooking no argument. “Danny is not someone you want to get involved with.”

But before Bruce could elaborate, the room was bathed in green light again.

Danny reappeared, now sitting cross-legged in mid-air, holding what looked like a spectral clipboard. “Forgot one thing,” he announced casually.

Bruce’s glare could have burned through steel. “What now?”

Danny smirked. “I want interest. Fifteen years is a long time to wait for sixteen bucks. So let’s say... ten percent per year?”

Jason cackled as the rest of the family broke out into laughter. Even Damian couldn’t entirely suppress a smirk.

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose again. “I’m not paying you interest.”

Danny shrugged, grinning. “Guess I’ll have to stick around until you do. Hope you’ve got extra space, because I’m moving in.”

The Batcave erupted into chaos. Jason and Steph cheered, Tim frantically calculated how much Bruce technically owed, and Bruce’s patience reached its breaking point.

“Fine,” Bruce growled. “But you’re staying in the guest room.”

Danny floated down, looking entirely too smug. “Deal. Now, who’s up for pizza? I’m starving.”

[littlefankingdom]

How the fandom portrays Bruce and Dick learning Red Hood (not knowing it's Jason) is 19-ish:

Bruce: Don't care, didn't ask.

Dick: OMG, he's just a BABY.

How Bruce and Dick would canonically react:

Bruce: He's still a teen. He's just a kid. OMG, I probably hit him too hard, shame on me. Maybe if I play my cards right, he will accept to be mentored.

Dick: Ok, so he is not a child. I can and will beat his ass.

[hey-heigo]

normal day at the future foundation

[bruciemilf]

Battinson and Dick going trick or treating as Batman and Robin. Except Bruce is Robin and Dick is Batman.

[karvviie]

have i mentioned that i’m a red team locus truther

(this is old art. earliest is from 2020)

[bet-on-me-13]

Fight Knight is the Spirit of Halloween.

So! A new Spirit Halloween location has opened up in Gotham, and the Batfam has decided to go shopping so they can prepare for Halloween.

Just because it's one of their busiest nights of the year doesn't mean they can't enjoy themselves while patrolling.

So the family walks in about a week before Halloween and spreads out to look for decorations or costumes to wear.

Its a fun trip, they buy their costumes, have a pleasant conversation with the manager about the holiday season, and go back home.

Then they actually put on their costumes and find out that they were either Cursed or Enchanted, because once put them on they are transformed them into the Costumes themselves.

Damien has become a Dog, after putting on a cheap dog costume at the insistence of his brothers. He's not unhappy at least.

Jason has been turned into a Zombie, though he has managed to restrain himself from eating his brother's Brains so far. He claims they look unappetizing.

Tim has been turned into Super Mario. He can't stop speaking in a bad Italian accent and has a huge mustache.

Dick has been turned into a Fairy Tale Princess after putting on the costume as a Joke. He has to admit though, he looks great as a Girl.

Even Bruce wasn't spared, and was turned into a Vampire after putting in some Plastic Teeth.

Taking off the costumes hadn't turned them back, leaving them stuck in their new forms.

Now they are all racing back to that Spirit Halloween to get answers as to what the hell just happened to them.

They hope Mr. Frank Knight has some answers for them.

[heroesriseandfall]

I’m dying at Bruce giving Robin Dick good grades in his head

Dick, on the other hand, gives his feedback out loud 👍

Batman and Robin: Year One #1

[hellofriendhawke]

Reverse Robins // Damian, Jason, and Dick at least

[gothamite-rambler]

Talia: Why is he here?

Damian glanced up at his brother Dick, then back at his mother.

Damian: He's my ride.

Talia: Why isn't he staying away from you?

Damian (sincere): He's my brother, and... he's neat. He's a neat man.

Dick smirked with a nod causing Talia to clench her jaw already done with his positive attitude.

Talia (crossing her arms): What have you given my son to make him lie?

Dick (calm): When are you going to realize that jacket makes you look ridiculous?

Talia: When are you going to understand you’re not that good-looking or even a remotely skilled fighter?

Dick (biting back): When are you going to admit we can all tell you have extensions?

Talia gasped, shocked by his audacity. She raised her hand, but Dick was ready for it.

Dick: Go ahead, slap me, and I’m telling my dad.

Talia: Daughter of a bastard! You’re so lucky he can stand you!

Dick: It's called love, sweetie.

Talia stormed off, cursing under her breath.

Dick (calling after her): Your dad said he respects me too!

Talia (half-turning, frustrated): Stop reminding me of that!

[ehliena]

I see all the Titans didn't know about the Batman being Batdad AUs, but what if they knew and thought that the Robins were biologically his?

Wally: Dude, why is your last name Grayson and not Wayne?

Dick: Because Bruce isn't my dad?

Wally: Really?!

Dick: You've known me since we were kids!

Wally: I thought it was just a rebellious thing and that he's your biological dad, what with the hair and the eyes and your siblings.

Dick: They're (mostly) not his either. In the biological sense.

Wally: *shock*

[sketchehm]

Serpias wins ez

[gaywineauntsstuff]

I just saw someone say that Tim was the only member of the batfamily who didn’t suck at math.

With the exception of Dick (acrobatics) and Cass (body language) none of the Batkids are THAT much better than the others at a certain skill

Yes Jason is a better shot

Yes Tim is a better detective

And on a technical level they’re much better

Sure

But that means that if they have a 0.001% chance of cracking a case or making a shot. There will be a noticeable difference between Tim being the character or say Damian.

Otherwise

Not particularly.

Think of each skill like a normally distributed curve okay with the mean being your average hero/olympian/hacker/genius

Right

The Batkids will be at the 96th percentile in the skill

With the exception of 1 of them being at the 99th percentile range

Unless you are writing something you can comfortably say is complex/difficult enough to warrant drawing attention to the 3% difference. It’s annoying to bring it up

I exclude Dick and Cass

Because Dicks introduction is the fact he can do something the rest of the kids can’t to the point where it’s an identifier within his own story. It’s how Tim found him, a signature only he can do.

And Cass because she is genuinely cartoonishly cracked in her own storyline and in batfamily stuff she’s borderline a mind reader

(Could also argue Jason for supernatural stuff and the all blades)

These are exceptions because yeah

If you told me Jason, Dick or Steph cracked a difficult case in a run I wouldn’t treat it as shocking information

If you told me Tim, Dick or Damian managed a tricky shot with a firearm in a dire situation (like what happens in the Grayson run) it would be interesting, surprising but like not? Shocking?

If you told me that Jason did a quadruple summersault off a building and landed on his feet I’d be confused as shit

And even WITH Dick and Cass the other kids are still FREAKISHLY good at D&Cs special skills but they both have unignorable signatures

This is a very long winded way of saying when an author simplifies a character down to

“Oh look nice flippy one”

“Smart one”

“Angry gun one”

“Pet collector”

It’s annoying because you basically ignore all the interesting overlap

Like guess what Dick literally has a habit of collecting strays (see the rabbit and 3 legged dog he lives with in his apartment in the new run)

Tim is fucking badass and is very good at dealing with explosives

Damian is canonically currently thinking of leaving the family business and no longer being a hero to maybe focus on helping people in other ways

Jason occasionally works with magic and demon bullshit

And every single one of them is a genius okay literally every single one of them could get a masters in physics, chem, bio and history in like 2 weeks flat.

Their stats are stacked

All of them know enough info to be able to do 99% of a task and yeah someone might call Tim or Dick in for detective help or Jason for muscle and restraining backup but in 99% of cases THE OTHER CHARACTERS SHOULD BE EQUALLY competent

[violent138]

Leslie, glaring suspiciously: "And this is all the medications you're on?"

Batkid: "Well."

Leslie: "You know this doesn't work if you're not honest right?"

Batkid: "No I know, it's just I don't know the names of all of them."

Leslie:

Leslie: "Are you kidding me right now? Where did you get them?"

Batkid: "Some of them are from B's utility belt, in some random pocket."

Leslie:

*moments later*

Bruce: "What was so urgent--" *sees look on Leslie's face* "--how are you doing today Lesl--"

Leslie: "Save it. What are these?" *gestures to assortment of meds*

Bruce: "Well I'm not--"

Leslie: "Do not lie to me."

Bruce: "I wasn't going to, Alfred buys them."

Batkid: "Alfie's buying the drugs?"

Leslie:

Leslie, sighing deeply and reaching for the phone: