#mostly crash and burn
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st-guliks-fnord · 1 year ago
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Finally onto the brand new 6th Cat’s Eye Chronicles book after doing a full series reread and this is…not what I expected. Ig I shouldn’t be surprised that even 6 years (and books) on Crash & Sora are still doing a “will they won’t they” “this will never work out clearly they don’t have feelings for me & I can’t love them even though they consume my every waking thought” but I am genuinely disappointed that a love triangle appeared, now, in book 6, after how much I praised this series for never doing a love triangle during Peak YA Love Triangle Ubiquity when I was a teenager.*
*(Caprion was never for a moment a love triangle option Shreffler just needs us all to know that every significant male character in these books is Tall, Gorgeous, and Rippling With Muscle because would it even be a fantasy romance otherwise. Sora was the eyes telling us how gorgeous Caprion was but c’mon his only romantic option was always Moss/Krait and he and Sora didn’t have a single romantic moment together for all Caprion and Crash didn’t get along bc of fantasy world racism between the Harpies and Nameless)
Also the sudden demon a/b/o dynamics energy with all of the Sixth Race being able to see that Crash dicked Sora down two years ago and referring to her as his mate when that was never a thing unless you count him telling her once, immediately before the aforementioned sex, that afterwords she would “always be his”. And his weird possessiveness without the sentimentality. He’s always been quiet, and they’ve been apart for two years, but they were only ever more physically intimate after moments of increased emotional intimacy. The intermittent physical heat between them without them breaking communications back open just feels wrong. The idea of Crash’s demon marking her somehow so she’s inherently more…susceptible to him (very a/b/o energy), without her knowing about it, when previously she was in control of whenever their relationship progressed physically also feels wrong and almost certainly will lead to a big fallout between them. Where would their relationship be without the misunderstanding->fight->make up pattern, I suppose. But he’s just Not Talking to her again. How many times have we relearned this exact lesson now, Crash? Every single book so far? Yeah okay.
Also not so much a fan of Sora suddenly constantly collapsing from this magic sickness in her cat’s eye; yes she’s always been a Mary Sue character but she kicked so much ass in books 4 and 5 and this simpering waif collapsing alternately into the arms of Crash or Gracen thing is so much worse. Like she got in the one ass-kicking of Nameless savants and then immediately got spelled, what happened to her cat’s eye protecting her from all magic including the Dark God’s plague this just feels like…a different canon than the previous series. The six year time gap from the publication of book 5 doesn’t help I’m sure, but what the hell.
Plus didn’t Caprion destroy a full-blooded demon in the novella? But now the big “series finale” sacrifice in book 5 just destroyed Cerastes’ mortal body but not his demon?? When everyone stressed so much that the whole reason for a Seraph existing was to destroy demons by sacrificing themselves in a blaze of extremely powerful light? What is the point of killing the mortal vessel if the demon survives anyway?? And is more powerful outside of a body? And apparently more powerful than a Cat’s Eye which previously was simply Not A Thing?
At this point I have to finish it, and I see that there’s supposed to be a 7th book which I assume means that Sora and Crash are not going to smooth out their relationship before the end of this one, but honestly if Sora ends up with Gracen after 6 whole books of this painfully slow slowburn with Crash I’ll be more disappointed than when book 5 ended with them going off to pursue their separate goals with the implication that they’d end up together later after some time to mature on their own, because that just made sense after the tumultuous relationship they’d established. But honestly both of them had emotionally matured so much by book 5 that this 6th book feels like backwards progress. Like this book legit does the exact thing Drew Gooden just called out in his recent Star Wars video, it legit gives Sora PTSD so her character has regressed & needs to redo the development she already had, while also making her physically ill so she’s back to being just as useless as she was in Book 1 before her entire development of becoming strong enough to feel confident in her skills and herself & to meet and converse with Crash as an equal…where is the Sora that impressed Crash with her understanding that he needed time to go back to The Hive and confront his past to truly move forward but trusted him to come back to her, like I’m tired.
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stupidphototricks · 9 months ago
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I've watched more of the British Whose Line is it Anyway than the US version, but I think it breaks down approximately like:
Colin on British WLIIA: My goal is to make the other performers look good and have a successful show
Colin on US WLIIA: My goal is to make the other performers (and particularly Ryan) laugh so hard that they can't talk
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justablah56 · 5 months ago
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hi guys I'm home from camping 👍 I survived mostly 👍
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loganslowdown4 · 1 year ago
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I wrote this a long time ago
After WTIT (can you believe it’s been over 2 yrs already?)😳
Anyway, you know how my brain doesn’t stop?
I think I was in spiral mode back then lol (it’s a bit angsty)
(And this is like worst case, I don’t think it will go down this way anymore) Enjoy!🤪
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rnoonjelly · 1 year ago
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My fem!SQQ & fem!LBH sims are available for download Here!
♡ - Includes Tray files and CC for the characters only - no clothes/accessories are in the folder ♡ - Please do not claim the sims as your own creation! ♡ - my photo lighting is Gentle CAS Lighting ♡ - if you use them in your game and post about it, I'd love to see :)
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byberbunk2069 · 8 months ago
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Updated the "I'm totally normal about them playlist" with three additional tracks and a new playlist cover thing. However if you're in the States you may not be able to listen to Forever by Siouxsie and the Banshees
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skele8rity · 2 months ago
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twst has been so funny catching up with. i finished book 3 a couple weeks ago (spoilers ahead) and i was telling my partner (who is caught up relatively) about how it would be sooo funny if leona was Doing All That just to get some sleep and get us out of his fucking hair. like being around us is just that annoying. wouldnt that be hilarious. i could see him doing that. its probably not that but imagine he looks at azul for this and goes "i cant fucking take it anymore."
and my partner bless their heart they had to purse their fucking lips and just nod and mumble "yeah thatd be crazy.... haha..."
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wornkindness · 1 year ago
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this is one of those things that deserves a much longer meta because it's been rattling around in my brain for ages. but there's a lot actually about tcw amelia struggles with, pretty much from the start. it only gets worse as the wars going on. she says nothing about it to anyone outside of a very select small group of people. one of them being her father. tbh she spends more time making sure everyone else is taken care of so they don't crumble under the weight of everything before at all looking to herself
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marklikely · 1 year ago
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hey what is going on in tech right now that we keep having to do this "new buzzword dominating every conversation you have" thing every year
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starwars is a pain in the ass to write for sometimes, because i'm a worldbuilding-focused writer, i need my characters to inhabit a world that has detail and logic to it - and starwars sort of has that at the core? in lucas' stuff at least. BUT, at the same time, the characters, their actions, and therefore the story sometimes don't fit very well within the logic of the setting. this is almost definitely bc lucas was essentially writing a fairytale in space; the story has a Message to tell, and so far all of those bad-fit moments that i've noticed fairly obviously tie back to lucas prioritising his Message over granular details.
which doesn't inherently bother me - it was Made For Children, so the background stuff is less important than the coherent message. It does make it a little annoying that if I wanna prioritise the (deeply fascinating and emotionally engaging) worldbuilding, I feel like i have to slather it in so many disclaimers bc usually ppl seem to address this disconnect by prioritising the characters/story. Which is also fair--most ppl get attached to those first lol. It just tends to break what makes the worldbuilding interesting to me lmao. And starwars is one of those fandoms where i'm more interested in side characters, so I kinda don't care if I break the main characters or the story a little bit in the process lol.
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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Honestly manga Midvalley and trigun 98 Midvalley are basically two different characters
Yea I wanna punch manga Midvalley constantly, but I also find him interesting & a compelling character. The times I've seen 98 Midvalley he just looks so sleazy lmao it makes me REALLY wanna punch him
Tough choices
#speculation nation#thinking about how i have midvalley with a significant role in my fic#& hes currently the character with the most scenes aside from vash bc of it#i have him based Solely on the manga characterization. bc i like him in the manga actually#but then i see 98 midvalley mostly acting as an accessory to Legato's murder sprees via sax solos#& it's like. where's the Realism? the Grumpiness! the utter hatred of his circumstances & fear of the higher powers?!?!?!#manga Midvalley is FASCINATING to me bc he's just like Wolfwood in a way.#caught between these two insane angels' brotherly dispute & hating EVERY second of it#but while Wolfwood rolls with the situation quite well (in large part bc he ends up aligned with Vash & we all know hes a sweetheart)#Midvalley decides he cant handle this anymore and rebels even though he knows it will crash and burn#better to try to live on his own terms than bow to that fucking angel for one more second#even though he knows it will probably kill him. and then it does.#that's fascinating to me!!!! but 98 midvalley feels so 90s anime villain hdkshfjdn#and i just Cant believe they gave him bitches. Midvalley??? with Women??? oh come on just look at him#that man's the kind of gay that refuses to flirt and then wonders why he doesnt get any action#he thinks he's BETTER than dating apps. and then he privately bemoans how alone he is#that or he just doesnt care about romance or sex at All. i could see that too lmfao#bottom line is. Midvalley does not get bitches. he DOESNT. thats just my humble opinion at least.#wow this turned into a ramble. may or may not be prompted by me writing him again. i just have many thoughts about him#trigun spoilers/
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bha3ls · 9 days ago
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thinking about how insane rinns pain tolerance must be. like kressa vivisected her whilst she was fully conscious. maybe not in her right mind but conscious! what could really hurt more than that...and how thats changed her attitude towards pain.
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past-hale-powiyewe · 1 month ago
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More or less a continuation of this or not! You get to decide! 🎊 LMAO but while Tad and Stan are chilling Bill almost electrocutes Ford 😭
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Also featuring my sweet sweet Melody 🥳 Melody is gonna be a kick-ass mom with how well she can wrangle his chaotic 1/3 of a tortilla ass 🏋️‍♀️
Hello,
*randomly drops Stadley*
Goodbye
*leaves and refuses to elaborate*
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As always Shapes and Pines AU from @void-dude
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moonvis · 10 months ago
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IDIOTS IN LOVE
Steve Rogers x F! Reader
incl. Natasha, Wanda, Bucky and Tony
Summary: Being in love with Steve Rogers isn’t easy with all the dates Natasha sets him up with. One day you’ve had enough and ask her to set you up, something you’ve never let her before – and a certain blonde isn’t too pleased.
Warnings: Angst to fluff! Jealous! Steve and Jealous! Reader. Misunderstandings. Two blind idiots in love with each other. 4.3k words.
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“Okay, I’m off to bed,” You said through a yawn and got up from the chair you’d been sitting in for the past hours, drinking and chatting with Natasha and Wanda.
Natasha took a sip from her glass, before asking, “See you in the morning for our run?”
“Count me in,” You nodded and walked towards the exit, your head facing Natasha, “Goodnight ladies.” The second you faced away, something tall crashed into you, making you trip on your own feet.
“Woah careful, doll!” A familiar voice said, as a hand grabbed you by your waist to steady you, “Are you okay, angel?”
“Steve! Oh- Thanks!” You felt a bit embarrassed as he was still holding onto you, his blue eyes looking down at you with what seemed like concern. His face was close, so very close, and his lips-
“Steve you’re back!” Natasha cheered from behind you, interrupting the moment, “How was your date?”
You immediately felt your heart drop at her question. Steve had been on a date. Again. You took a step away from the super soldier, looking down as he shifted his attention to Natasha, “It was good.”
You snuck out of the room in the blink of an eye, not wanting to hear about yet another one of Steves ‘good’ dates that never lead to a second one. Couldn’t he just choose one of the girls and make it official? That way you had no reason to hold onto the hope that he just might, someday, reciprocate your feelings.
You didn’t see the disappointment in Steve’s face when you suddenly disappeared out of sight.
You woke up in the morning with a burning headache. Partly because of the wine last night, but mostly because of Steve keeping you awake for hours. You always stayed to hear how his dates went, but it was always the same: “It was good, but there won’t be a second one, I’m afraid. Better luck next time Nat.”
Though what if it was different this time? What if he finally found the one? Your thoughts and feeling of regret were interrupted by a harsh knocking on your bedroom door.You knew it was Natasha and got out of bed. The floor felt extra cold this morning.
“I’ll be down in five!” You yelled trough the door and went to get dressed for your run. After swallowing some painkillers for your headache, you left your room to meet the redhead, desperately in need to get some fresh air.
You and Natasha jogged from the Avengers compound and ended up in the nearest park. As you felt the morning sun warming your skin, you felt a little relief lift off your shoulders. You needed this.
The two of you sat down at a bench, kind of like creeps, observing the civilians enjoying their own morning.
A dolled-up lady was walking her dog, or more like, the dog was walking her. You shared a laugh with Natasha at the sight. Your eyes followed her movements, watching as she passed a little girl blowing soap-bubbles. The little one let her tongue out to taste the bubbles, only for her nose to scrunch up in disgust.
“Cute.” Natasha commented from beside you. You smiled and let your eyes wander along with the bubbles flying away, which popped right next to an older couple holding hands. “Aww, look at them!” You commented.
The husband of the old couple, smacked his lady’s butt, growing a mischievous grin on his face. “Now, that’s cute.” Natasha commented this time.
“I know! Old people are the cutest.”
“I can only partly agree with you there. Buck and Steve are quite the old men,” Natasha laughed, “Wouldn’t call them cute.”
You chuckled lightly as your eyes left the old couple. To you, Steve was so much more than cute. He was the kindest, most caring man you’d ever met. He always listened to your small and bigger problems. He was always willing to drop everything to help you out. He was always by your side whenever you got hurt on a mission. You had no doubt he cared for you, and yet… he still went on all those dates like you weren’t even an option. He made you feel so special and loved, and you weren’t even each other’s. Oh, how lucky the one who wins his heart would be.
“Y/N? Earth to--”
“Oh, sorry!” You snapped out of your thoughts at Natasha trying to get your attention.
She gave you a concerned look as she spoke, “Are you okay? You seem down.”
“It’s just my head, it really hurts.” You excused, wiping away a tear you hadn’t noticed before.
“I’m sorry. Should we walk back? We can take it slow.” Natasha asked and got up from the bench, lending you a hand.
You accepted her hand and cracked a small smile, “Thank you kind lady.”
Once you started walking back towards the compound, a familiar figure caught your eye. Steve, with a girl beside him, was walking in your direction.
“Would you look at that! Steve’s on a second date,” Natasha cheered at the sight of Steve and Sharon Carter coming closer, “He said yesterday they wouldn’t go on a date again.”
Natasha was clearly trying to share her excitement with you, but all you felt was a knot tightening in your stomach. You liked Sharon, you really did, but of course she, a Carter,  would be the one to finally win Steve’s heart.
Natasha was waving at the pair, just to make sure they saw the two of you. The jealousy in your body didn’t help much with the headache, making you feel sick, “Nat, I’m just gonna go, okay?”
You weren’t in the mood to stand around and wait for Steve to arrive with his new love interest, you didn’t even bother to give Natasha a smile, “You can wait for them if you want. I’d like to have some alone time anyways.”
Natasha wasn’t sure how to react, starting to feel like it wasn’t just a headache bothering you, “You sure?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you later.” You left without taking another look back, leaving Natasha to start worry about you.
You didn’t see Steve’s expression go from excitement to concern as he watched you leave Natasha behind.
Back at the compound, you fall down onto your bed, soft sobs rocking your body. You’re tired of loving a man you’ll never have. You have his friendship, but your heart is still not satisfied. Now that Steve has found a beautiful woman like Sharon, maybe you can finally try to move on.
You roll onto your back, looking at the ceiling as your tears dry out. What are you going to do?
Then, it hits you. Natasha.
Just a soft knock on the door and a hug later, the redhead asks what she can do to make you feel better. You let out a sigh and ask away, “Could you help me, maybe… find a date?”
Natasha wasn’t sure she heard you correctly, but when you nodded, her face lit up in excitement, “Of course! It would be my absolute pleasure!” She didn’t even ask why you wanted a date all of a sudden, she was just happy you’d finally give her matchmaking a chance.  
“Oh my god! I have so many guys in mind. They would all be so lucky to have you Y/N. I have to pick one worth your time though!”
You chuckled as you listened to Natasha ramble on about who to pick for you, a feeling of excitement growing in your stomach. You were finally ready to give someone new a chance.
As the moon shone through your window, you thought about what tomorrow would bring. Natasha had already picked out a date whom you’d meet tomorrow night.
Busy in thought, you suddenly felt your stomach growl. Slipping out of bed, you put on a pair of slippers and wandered out your door towards the kitchen. Truth be told, you had been avoiding going around the compound in fear of meeting Steve, which also meant skipping dinner.
You fixed yourself a bowl of cereal and let your thoughts wander back to your upcoming date. What dress would you wear? Maybe the blue one? No. What about the white, the one you knew Steve loved so much?
“Hey.”
The sudden sound of a voice made you jump in your seat. As you choked on your cereal, you felt a hand patting your back.
“I’m sorry for scaring you. Are you okay, angel?”
You looked up to find Steve looking down at you. Damnit. You managed to embarrass  yourself in front of him again.
“I’m fine, thanks.” Your voice sounded hesitant, your eyes going back to your cereal. You listened as Steve made himself a cup of tea behind you, not a single word shared. You felt awkward.
You hoped he would just make his damn tea and leave - but of course not. The man sat down, right beside you, half facing you as he took a sip.
“So…” Steve began, and you felt yourself wanting to disappear. You were in the mindset of moving on a few minutes ago, but here he sat, the man you were so in love with, alone, giving you all of his attention. “How’re you doing? We haven’t talked much since, well, yesterday.”
Steve’s voice sounded hesitant, and you knew, that he knew, that something was up. The two of you hung out every single day, so not talking for 24 hours was unusual.
“I, uh… I’m okay. I’ve been a bit tired lately, that’s all.” You lied, and you didn’t sound very convincing either.
“Nat told me about your headache earlier today, at the park-”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You interrupted him, a hint of annoyance in your voice. You really didn’t want to talk about it. Especially not think about the sight of Steve walking alongside his new girl.
You hear Steve let out a sigh at your answer. You were hoping he’d let it go, though you knew Steve too well. The blonde put down his cup and turned his body fully towards you this time, “Y/N,” His voice sounded serious, “I know something’s up, more than just a headache, and it worries me. So, please, what is going on? Did I do something?”
You didn’t know you had it in you to be angry with Steve Rogers, but when you felt your blood boil, there was no going back. You jumped out of your chair and looked at him with rage in your eyes, “Why do you care, huh?”
You saw the immediate hurt in Steve’s eyes, his expression shocked at your sudden outburst. You didn’t care though, “It’s been a fucking day, and you’re worried about me because I haven’t talked to you yet? You haven’t even been home! The last time I saw you, quoting Natasha, you were on a second date with Sharon! Shouldn’t you be with her now anyways?”
“Y/N-”  
“No! Why the fuck do you sit here and talk to me like I’m the only thing you care about, like it matters how I’m doing? It doesn’t make any sense! You’ve always been like this, yet I’m just a friend sitting around while you go out and fuck all the girls Natasha find for you!” Your breath is heavy, tears threaten to spill from your eyes,
Steve was reaching out a hand to you but retracted it as tears streamed down your cheeks. You pointed a finger at the man, your teeth gritted together as you spoke, “And lastly, I am under no obligation to tell you anything about my feelings! So please, stop treating me like I’m your fucking girlfriend!”
Without taking another look at him, you spun around and left the room. As you disappeared out of sight, you ran down the hallway to escape into your room, not wanting Steve to follow. It was when you shut your bedroom door, you realised what you just did.
You yelled at Steve, for the first time ever. Worst of all, he hadn’t done anything to deserve it. That night, never ending sobs were rocking you to sleep.
As you stormed out of the kitchen, you didn’t see the look of heartbreak in Steve’s eyes. They carried more worry than before, confusion and a load of regret as he started to catch on to what was going on with you. It was all a misunderstanding, and he felt like the biggest idiot in the world.
Getting ready for your date was supposed to be fun and exciting, but after you yelled at Steve last night, nothing seemed to cheer you up.
You regretted every single word you yelled at him. He came to check up on you, but all he got in return was your anger. Though maybe it was for the best, now he had no reason to care about you anymore. You were an asshole. The thought hurt like hell, but you chose to use it as an excuse to ease your feelings.
You dressed up in a white beautiful dress, paired with a pair of white heels. It was Steve’s favourite outfit of yours – he had told you so with words, but his eyes when he looked you, oh, they said so much more. That's were you got the nickname angel from.
It was time to give the outfit a new association, perhaps, the first outfit you wore out with your new potential love interest?
As you walked down the compound hallway to leave, familiar voices came from the kitchen. You knew snooping was wrong, but you couldn’t help listening as it was Steve talking.  
“I’ve been a fool Buck,” Steve sighed, “What am I gonna do?”
“It’s all a big misunderstanding, right? Just tell her everything and I’m sure she’ll understand. Y/N always understands.”
“Yeah, tell her I’ve been going on a new date every week for the past year so that I can forget about her?” Steve groaned, “It sounds awful.”
It did sound awful. He really wanted to get rid of you huh? You didn’t understand why but his words hurt. “-so that I can forget about her.”
You sniffled and was ready to sneak past them, not wanting to hear anymore, but of course, both men noticed your presence. Stupid super hearing.
“Y/N?” Steve asked and walked a little closer to where you were standing, “Wow, angel, you look-” Steve gave you the same look as he always did when you dressed up. He looked at you in awe, which you usually loved, but now, you hated it.
“Princess, you look beautiful!” Bucky commented and walked over to kiss the top of your head, “Where are you headed off to?”
“Oh, I-” You looked at Steve, then shifted your attention back to Bucky, giving him a shy smile, “I’m going on a date.”
The words felt relieving to get out in front of Steve. Now he would know not to treat you like a girlfriend, since you were trying to see someone else, right?
“Oh, really?” Bucky sounded surprised, but you ignored it, “Have uh-” You noticed as Bucky gave a quick look at Steve, before plastering on a big smile, “Have a nice one then! Can’t wait to hear about it!”
“Thanks Buck,” You smiled, “I gotta go.”  
As you rushed out of the room, you didn’t see Steve clenching his jaw and fists. He was irritated at himself for letting it come to this. The feeling of jealusy made him feel sick.
It was an hour into the date, and you were actually enjoying your time. The guy Natasha had set you up with was an agent you had met before during some mission, Christopher. He was cute and had such golden retriever energy - he made you genuinely smile for the first time that day. Apparently he had been smitten with you for a while now, and to no surprise, Natasha knew.
As time passed by, it was time to head home. Both of you had work in the morning anyways. Cristopher followed you all the way back to the Avengers Compound, giving you a kiss on the cheek, “Thank you for giving me a chance Y/N. I had a really wonderful time. Will I see you again?”
Busy with your date, you didn’t see Steve standing nearby, observing the whole thing. He was tense, saddened and growing more and more jealous as he watched you laugh with the other guy.
Steve had come out to get some fresh air, to clear his head, but was interrupted by your arrival. You looked so beautiful, and the sound of your sweet laughter made his knees weak. Oh, how he wished he was the one who caused it.
The morning after your date with Cristopher, you felt the best you had in the last few days. You hummed as you entered the kitchen, the smell of something delicious hitting your nose, “Oh, what’s that smell? It’s amazing.”
“’I made pancakes, so I hope you’re hungry!” Bucky cheered and handed you a plate. You accepted it gladly and sat down at the table next to Natasha and Wanda to your left, and Tony to your right.
“Hey girl, you seem happy. I’m guessing the date was a success?” Natasha asked as she took a bite of her breakfast.
“You finally went on a date with Steve? Rhodes owe me money-” Tony started at the information.
You almost chocked on your first bite of the pancake. Why would he even think that? Didn’t he know Steve was dating Sharon?
“No, Tones, wrong,” Natasha corrected him, “She went with that guy Cristopher. Remember that agent who wouldn’t shut up about her?”
“Oh yeah! The guy who was blabbering about Y/N almost as much as Steve does!”
Steve was blabbering on about you?    
“Anyways, tell us how it went? When’s the next date?” Wanda asked, eager to know.
You chuckled a little nervously, “Well, you see--” You stopped talking as soon as Steve entered the kitchen, shocked to see his fallen shoulders and saddened eyes.
You observed as he grabbed a plate of pankakes, before heading over to the counter to make his morning tea. It was weird not hearing a good morning, or getting greeted with his soft smile. You had no idea what was bothering him, and it killed you inside.
"Y/N? You were saying?" Natasha questioned, as you had left them all hanging.
Your eyes didn't leave Steve's figure, even though he was facing away, "It uh... The date was good."
You watched Steve's whole posture tense as you spoke. Oh, how much you wanted to ask if he was okay. You just didn't feel like you had the right to. The last time you spoke, you were yelling at his face.
"Come on! Give us the details!" Tony pushed.
You shook your head, suddenly not wanting to bother Steve with details of your date. You plasteted on a forced smirk, "You'll have to wait and see if we weet again."
"No come on!"
As Steve was facing away, you couldn't see the tears forming in his eyes. You couln't see the absolute heartbreak on his face from the thought of having lost you. He really felt like he had lost the most important person in his life - and you didn't even know he saw you as such.
Over the past few days, you hadn't shared a single word with Steve, and it was starting to drive you crazy. You didn’t even face each other while in the same room - it was a good thing you hadn't shared a mission yet.
All you wanted was for Steve to be happy, and to be his friend again, so with that, you decided it was time to apologize for your behaviour – even if he wouldn’t forgive you for being such an ass, you knew it was the right thing to do.
Your palms felt sweaty, and your mouth all dried out as you stepped outside his room, “Okay… here goes nothing.” You knocked on the door, feeling your heart thump rapidly against your chest.
When he didn’t answer you knocked twice, then again and again. Giving up, you asked Tony’s A.I. for help, “FRIDAY, where’s Steve?”
“In the gym ma’am.”
You let out a sigh, “Is he… okay?”
“From what I can tell, he seems distressed and angry.”
You felt a knot in your stomach. It was 8 pm, and Steve never worked out in the gym that late unless he was upset, “Fuck… Thanks FRIDAY.”
Earlier that day, Steve had been walking past the door to your room at least five times, with the intention to make up. Though the super solider was way too nervous to bother you and chickened out. It was killing him not having your company every day. He missed you. So, with his emotions changing from heartbreak to anger, and the heavy regret from not telling you the truth and let your relationship come to this, he escaped to the gym.
You entered the gym and carefully closed the door behind you. It took you seconds to see Steve by the six destroyed punching bags on the floor, the seventh about to face the same faith.
Steve’s back was tense, and you could see the anger he was feeling in every punch. You felt the knot in your stomach from before tightening, your palms even more sweaty. Taking a deep breath, you walked up to him; it was time to face the music.
Speaking of music, before you knew it your ears were singing a high-pitched tone, your head hurt and your whole back was facing the cold floor beneath you.
“Oh my god!” Steve rushed to your side, worry in his voice, “Are you okay? I’m so sorry Angel!”
You blinked a few times before looking up at the concerned man above you. Putting a hand to your head, you groaned out due to the pain. Releasing deep breath, you let Steve help you up, “I guess I deserved that.”
You had been so smart to come up behind the Captain and stand in front of the punching bag. Because of Steve’s quick and hard punches, he failed to notice you in time, and punced the bag into you, sending you flying to the floor.
“Seriously, are you okay, doll?”
The concern in Steve’s voice made you forget why you came her in the first place. You only nodded and let him lead you to sit down on a bench. He didn’t let go of your hand as you both sat down.
Steve let out a shaky breath. It was clear it had scared him when he saw you flying in the air, and it was all his fault too. You could see the guilt on his face. He still cared so damn much.
You had enough of Steve feeling so down because of you, he didn’t deserve a second of it, “Steve I’m okay. I’m the idiot for creeping up on you like that… Also, I kinda deserved it after how shitty I’ve been treating you.”
“What are you talking about?” There was confusion in the Captain’s eyes.
“Just… let me talk.” Suddenly you had the courage to just get it out. You took hold of both his hands and looked deeply into his blue eyes, “I’m so sorry Steve. I’ve been an absolute asshole towards you.”
Steve opened his mouth to say something, but closed it as you shook your head, “Let me continue. You’re my best friend and I have so much love for you. You’ve been nothing but good to me, and I was yelling at you for it. Thinking about how good you treat me, your friend, I can only imagine how good you treat Sharon. She’s very lucky and I wish you guys the best.”
Your gaze fell from Steve and down into your lap, “I… I’ve been jealous. With all those dates you’ve been on… Why couldn’t you just pick one the girls and get it over with? I…”
“Cause none of them were you.”
You looked up at him, shock in your eyes, unsure if you heard him correctly. Steve plastered on a small smile, his eyes so soft as he looked into yours, “Y/N, there’s nothing between Sharon and I. The other day, when you saw us at the park, we were walking back from visiting Peggy’s grave. It was only a coincidence we were there at the same time.”
“Oh… but what about your date the day before? You said it was good?” You asked, feeling almost ashamed.
“You left too soon to hear what I told Nat and Wanda. I had a good time, but I wasn’t interested. I’d have way more fun with someone else there with me…” Steve’s voice was low, his hand coming up to caress your cheek, “I can’t hold it back anymore Y/N. I love you; I always have. And those stupid dates?”
Tears were streaming down your cheeks at his confession. Never in a million years would you have thought he loved you back.
Steve chuckled lightly, a hint of sadness in his eyes, “I went on those to get you off my mind. I never belied you could love me back, you’re way too good for me, Angel. Though every damn date I went on, I just couldn’t get you off my mind. Every time they wanted me to come home with them, I only thought; No, I can’t do that to my best girl.”
“Steve…” You felt so stupid for not having confessed your feelings earlier. All this misunderstanding could’ve been avoided, “I love you too. I love you so damn much Stevie.”
Steve breath caught in his throat, not sure he was hearing you clearly, “What?” The word came out weak, like he was scared to wake up from a dream, “What about--”
“Cristopher?” You giggled, “Oh, I had a nice time with him, but you know, he wasn’t you.”
Steve laughed loudly and you joined in. Both of you realised how stupid and blind you had been. You loved each other.
Steve caressed your cheek again, his thumb stroking over your soft skin. The look in his eyes were different than before; you knew it was love. His features, his voice, all soft, “Can I… kiss you?”
You only nodded and let him lead you towards his lips. The kiss was gentle, but a firework erupted inside of you. It made tears fall from your eyes, his too. Pulling away, Steve kissed the top of your head before speaking, “My beautiful, Angel. I can’t believe I finally have you.”
You threw yourself forward and let him wrap his strong arms around you. His embrace felt like home.
It felt so right, and finally, your heart was satisfied.
You didn’t see the tears continue to stream down Steve’s cheeks. You didn’t see the huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. He was so damn in love with you, and he already knew that someday, he wanted to call you his wife.  
THE END! Thank you so much for reading, feedback is very much appreciated <3
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lobautumny · 1 year ago
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So like, the Reddit strike going on right now, yeah? I've been seeing a lot of people comment on how they appreciate the protest and then go on to say that this has the notable downside of them constantly looking up questions and not being able to easily find the answers because all of the easily-findable answers are exclusively on Reddit. I am not sure if most of the people making this observation are within the line of thought of "man, maybe this protest isn't such a good idea after all" or "man, it really sucks that we've let the internet get so consolidated," and I'm really hoping its the latter.
Like, all of this? This right here? Reddit making a shitty, anti-consumer grab for money and control over how people are allowed to access the information on their servers, and the website going dark in protest causing tons of people to not be able to access important information? This is exactly what people mean when they say that it's bad that the internet has shrunk down so much and is mostly comprised of, like, 10 websites. It's a fucking problem that one company making one bad decision and causing their website to crash and burn can jeopardize so much of humanity's cumulative information.
This two-day glimpse into the internet without Reddit is the warning shot. Imagine what will happen if Reddit actually goes down for good for one reason or another one day. Imagine what will happen if/when Discord or Fandom bites the dust, or gets rendered practically-unusable without paying an ever-increasing premium because they're owned by blood-sucking corporate leeches.
Another big thing is Twitter clamping down really hard on your ability to DM people if you don't have Twitter Blue. If this goes through, it'll put a ton of artists and sex workers who rely on Twitter DMs for their business operation into a shitty situation. Now, obviously, it's not gonna be the end of the world for them, but once again, it feels like a warning shot to me. Twitter is a sinking ship, and unless something changes and it starts to course-correct, I worry that it'll go under and all of the creators who rely on it will suddenly be in an extremely precarious situation.
These are the sorts of things that we, as the users of the internet, need to seriously think about as time goes on, and if we don't find an adequate answer sooner, we're going to pay for it later. I still hold that the best solution is to start making and using more individual, niche websites. Things like Twitter, Reddit, Discord, etc. have their place, of course, but I seriously think a lot was lost through the death of things like individual forums and the existence of many different wiki-hosting sites.
We need a concerted effort, not just on the side of larger creators, but on the users themselves, to stop exclusively using these larger websites and support the creation and growth of smaller, more niche websites, and prevent a catastrophe before it actually happens. I simply hope that people with larger platforms than my own pick up on all this and start talking about it and swaying people to act sooner rather than later. I know it's possible to correct the problem of the mysteriously tiny internet before a modern Library of Alexandria moment happens, I just don't know if that correction will actually happen in time.
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stardustsymphony · 1 month ago
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scar-mates || mattheo riddle
warning: smoking, burning.
a/n: i'm supposed to be studying for the exam i have in four hours and i have my book open in front of me but haven't even started studying yet so i hope y'all appreciate this cause i quite literally risked my future to write this. and please tell me y'all know that ‘sprinkle ✨ sprinkle ✨’ girl from instagram who makes reels about dark romance books mostly and she usually wears that soft, oversized pink blanket-like hoodie (or was it something else?). this one shot is inspired by one of her reel about a dark-romance book, i forgot the name.
✧・゚: ✧・゚: :・゚✧:・゚✧ ♕♛♕ ✧・゚: ✧・゚: :・゚✧:・゚✧
“You’re like a drug.” Mattheo said, playing with your fingers. His brown eyes flickered to lock with yours, a mischievous glint in them that made your heart do flips. 
“Drugs are dangerous.”
“So are you.” 
The soft melody of rain echoed in the room, the distant sound of thunder adding in to the comfort. You snuggled close to Mattheo as a shiver ran down your spine because of the chilly room. Noticing this, he pulled you closer, your head against his chest and his heartbeat under your ear making you relax into his arms each passing second. 
“Stop snuggling so much to me,” he said –but his voice was filled with playful sarcasm. He pulled up the thick blanket all the way up to your shoulder, pressing his lips against the crown of your head. 
You lazily smiled up at him. “Stop being so warm then.” 
“I prefer the term ‘hot’, darling.” he winked at you. 
You rolled your eyes, a slight smile on your lips, as he took out a cigarette and placed it between his lips, lighting it. 
“You're smoking here?” you asked, he hardly ever smokes in front of you, let alone when both are cuddling. 
“Can't leave my girl alone to shiver, now, can I?” 
Your stomach flutters at his words –‘my girl’. Oh, how you loved whenever he said stuff like that, and he was well aware of the effect his words have on you, judging by his smirk hidden behind his cigarette. 
A comforting silence washed over you both as you both occasionally mumbled sweet nothings to each other, softly kissing each other between whispered words and giggles. 
It was moments like this that made you forget about everything, all the rumours that surrounded him, the different ways people had said he would break your heart. You never doubted your love for him for even a second, but there was still some time when you wondered if the rumours that surrounded him were true. 
Your relationship was not perfect, of course, it was filled with ups and downs. You never appreciated those ‘downs’, but your sister had always told you that ‘downs’ in a relationship was just as important as ‘ups’. She said she always reminds herself of this whenever she and her boyfriend go through a rocky phase, and next month, they will be getting married. 
“What are you thinking about?” Mattheo inhaled some smoke, kept it in his mouth, then exhaled it in rings. 
“My sister and her boyfriend.”
“They're getting married next month, no?” 
“Yeah,” you looked at him and brushed some of his hair from his forehead. “You've invited, by the way.” 
“I would have crashed the wedding if you hadn't invited me.” 
You snorted. “Of course you would've.” 
There was a moment of silence, then he asked. “What's he like? Your sister's boyfriend, I mean.” 
“He's nice, he used to buy me toys when I was young and sneak me out for lunch whenever I used to feel sad.” You smiled as you remember the time with your sister's boyfriend, Mick. He truly was like an older brother to you. 
“How did they meet?” 
“They're high school sweethearts.”
Mattheo gave you a slightly surprised glance. “That young, huh? You like talking about them, no?” He added when he saw your expression. 
“I can't help it,” you shrugged. “They're just so disgustingly in love, it's so sweet. Mick used to tell me he knew my sister was the one the moment they both met, like love at first sight. My sister tells me they both are scar-mates.” 
“Scar-mates?” Mattheo asked. “What's that?” 
“When my sister was young, she fell from the stairs and got a scar on her elbow. Mick has a scar on his elbow too, she used to tell me that if you have a scar somewhere, your soulmate would have one in the exact same place as well. She used to call them scar-mates.” 
“That's…dumb. And sweet.” He added hastily when he saw your expression flicker. “But you don't believe that, do you?” 
“I do, actually,” you said awkwardly, grinning a bit. “I've been hearing it since I was a child, so it's hard not to.” 
He gave you a look that looked like a mix of amusement and sarcasm. 
“In fact,” you continued, pushing down the shoulder of your sweatshirt and tilting your head to show him your collarbone. “I do have one scar here. It's when I fell from the swings in the backyard.” 
His eyes fell down at your collarbone, taking in the age old scar there. His fingers lightly brushed against it and you shivered. Then, as if you couldn't help yourself, you asked,
“Do you have any scars?” 
Mattheo didn't answer immediately, just brushed his fingers against your scar once more. Just when you thought he wouldn't answer at all, he sat straight and opened his shirt. 
It took all your willpower not to shamelessly stare at him. 
“Yeah, I do actually.” he said, taking his second cigarette out of his mouth and exhaling slowly, keeping his eyes on your face. And before you could react or ask him anything, he twisted his cigarette around and pressed it against his own collarbone, on the exact same spot where you had your scar. 
You gasped, horrified, and pulled his hand away and threw away his cigarette, not caring where it landed in the room. 
“What are you doing?!” you shrieked. 
Mattheo’s eyes never left your face, his expression not giving away anything as he held your chin gently, tilting your head to make you look at him.
“Scar-mates.” he said softly before leaning down to press his lips against the scar on your collarbone.
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