#mostly because the group i always enjoyed playing with has moved onto a server of their own <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[pyrriax]

(non-shader screenshots since these were done with a different loader and i couldnt get shaders to run......... modrinth is too buggy for me with shaders)

god i miss s2 of this server every day

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

On The Run--Part 2

A continuation of this blurb. 

Witch!OC on the run. Clueless Calum. 

No one has permission to repost this elsewhere, including translations. Thank you. 

Masterlist

___________________

It’s three days. When Calum’s phone buzzes from his coffee table in the evening he’s almost positive, it’s a scam text message. Have a night to spare. Do waffles still stand?

It’s dumb to send that message. It’s dumb to get into her car. It’s dumb to drive until she sees the yellow backlit sign. It’s dumb to pull into the parking lot. It’s dumb to stand outside her car, waiting for this guy to show up. She didn’t even have his fucking name. And just three days ago, she’s utterly convinced he was attempting to hunt her down. 

But she felt like she owed him this. Not that she had any real obligation to take this stranger up on their word. But Morgan knew she’d be leaving town soon. Her last encounter proved that she needed to get the fuck out and move on. And he was sweet. He didn’t press her. Didn’t follow her down into the bowels of the dance floor. He was cool, a bit of a fumble on his feet when he handed her the number. But still sweet nonetheless. 

Besides, Morgan does like waffles, much better than pancakes because of the small pockets to hold the syrup. 

She figures it’ll be her last meal in town. She’ll eat and then set out to duck out of town. There’s no harm in that. Having a good last meal before she spent hours on the road, attempting to figure out her next move. Yeah, she could use it as motivation. She’d already be out of the house. Her belongings were already packed in two bags. They were already in her trunk. 

She just hadn’t been able to fuck go yet. 

But this would her motivation. This would be like her last goodbye to the town. 

“Okay, this is going to sound crazy. But did we ever trade names?” 

Morgan shakes her head. “Don’t think we did. I’m Morgan.”

“Calum.”

She tries it out. Her tongue curling just a little, the tip of her tongue touching the roof of her mouth as she says the ‘L’. They head inside. It’s not long until they’re seated. “So, what do you do around here?” Calum asks, his gaze flicks between the menu to her and then it settles there. 

Hiding. Running. Trying not to fucking die. “Just...figuring things out really. Fairly new in town. But I don’t think I’m cut out to make it out here for long.”

HIs brows furrow, pulling his own face down. His lips curl into a pout. His head tilts to one side. “Why do you say that?”

“Just...not my vibe, I guess.” There’s something in that gaze. He cares. Deeply. And he shouldn’t. Morgan’s trouble. Always has been nothing but trouble and always will be nothing but trouble. But she can cause enough trouble on her own. She doesn’t need to be worried about anyone else right now. Morgan’s thankful a server comes by to get their drink orders. She gets just water. Calum gets orange juice. “But enough about me, what are you doing? What’s your story?”

“Nothing fancy,” Calum returns. His gaze lands on the All star Breakfast special. 

“C’mon. Give me something better than that.”

Calum shakes his head. A small grin appears on his face and Morgan’s floored by how it brightens his face. “Nah, it’s really nothing too big. Just in a a band. Playing and making music with three of my best mates.”

It’s on the term ‘mates’ that Morgan hears more of his accent. It’s always there. Always been sitting and playing like a song to her eardrums. But it only hits her then. “Let me guess, you’re not from LA originally. Gonna say you moved here. From,” she pauses, pondering as she rubs her chin. “Australia?”

“Accent wasn’t it?”

“That and your use of ‘mates’. No one says that around here.”

“What about you? Where you are from? What brought you to LA even if LA doesn’t seem like it’s making ya stay.”

Morgan picks at the corner of the laminated menu. It’s already lifting, thanks to all the nervous pickers before her. Running. Hiding. Trying to survive. “Just had to get away really,” she starts before clearing her throat. Her water’s placed down and she takes the moment to figure out just how to lie this time. 

“You guys ready to order?”

Fuck, she’s hardly looked over this menu. “All Star Breakfast,” comes out in unison. Calum and Morgan look at each other before laughter erupts from them. Calum opts for no sausage. 

“You know, I’m a growing girl. I’ll just take his portion,” she tells the server. They only nod, scratching a line out on the pad and then turn to add their ticket to the thin string of other people looking for breakfast at half past 8 pm. 

Morgan takes a sip of her water and Calum continues to gaze at her softly. “Just getting away?” he reiterates.

“I just didn’t fit in where I was, I guess. They wanted something that I wasn’t. And I just—I knew I had to get out from there. So I came to LA. Could be nameless and no one would care. I wouldn’t stick out.”

Calum snorts. “I know it’s LA. But even still blue hair will get you noticed. Trust me. Mine was blue, blond. Pink, even. People still notice.”

Morgan nods, pulling on a small ringlet from her bags. The afro is cut in something more like a heart shape around her face. The curl bounces back into place too. “I guess I might’ve been asking for some attention.”

“Just a tiny bit,” Calum jokes, bringing his thumb and pointer finger together but not actually touching. His eyes narrow into a squint as to emphasize his point. 

Their conversation turns silent for just a moment and as Calum sips at his drink, Morgan speaks, picking at her nails. “Thanks. For not flipping at the club.”

Calum shakes his head. “You don’t have to thank me for that.”

“No, but like, I know it’s gotta be strange for me not to, like, take the bait on your move in the club but to take your number and actually text you.” 

She tries not to feel like she has to explain. But she is grateful that Calum’s not being nasty towards her. She’s learned in the short three months she’s been hiding out: that it’s not just her kind that can be nasty. Men hitting her expect her to fawn over the action. Like she should be grateful that anyone is giving her attention. It makes her feel dirty. She feels like she’s rolled in mud and let it dry and pull tight at her skin. No amount of showering will ever quite get rid of that feeling either. 

“Like, I just. A few days before had an unpleasant experience. So yeah,” Morgan shakes her head, looking up at Calum again. He looks sad, maybe even a little frustrated. “Yeah, just thanks.”

“I’m sorry.” It comes out in a whisper. “I’m sorry you’ve got to deal with assholes.”

“Happens.”

“But it shouldn’t, ya know?” 

Morgan’s dealt with assholes before. Like the girl that felt her up last week when she was closing out her tab. Or like the guy that catcalled her as she walked back to her place with groceries in hand. Assholes were always around. And though Calum didn’t know about the scouting groups and though he didn’t know about what she had done, how she felt so dirty for turning her back. It’s nice to know that good people still exists. 

Their food arrives and Morgan asks while sliding the two extra sausage patties onto her plate about the band and the music and what’s going on in Calum’s life. They laugh, pulling out phones to show pictures. Mostly Calum showing off Duke. “Sorry, I probably sound crazy,” he mutters, putting his phone face down on the table. 

“No, you don’t sound crazy. It’s very cute. Worth showing off.”

Plates are cleared. Though crumbs of toast litter their plates and not an ounce of waffle left behind, they contemplate dessert. “I’m pretty stuffed,” Morgan counters. She needs to get on the road. She needs to get away from here. The scouting groups are no doubt still trying to close in on her. 

Calum nods. He pays the bill, though she insistent she can pay for half. “I had a nice time. And I’m not sure I can convince you to follow me for a late night record run.”

“I should get back. It’s past my bed time,” Morgan teases. 

“When are you leaving?” Calum enjoyed her company. Even if she’s leaving, maybe he can get one last time with her. 

“Morning probably.”

He nods. “Be safe out there. Keep in touch, will you?”

She reaches across the table, palms face up. Calum places his hands into hers. She rubs her thumbs over his parents initials etched into his skin. His tattoos don’t radiate heat like her markings do. Any witch with a marking gives a little heat over that area. But Morgan can feel something there. Like a weight. He’s gone from everyone else. His family is continents away. “I’m sorry I can’t stay.”

“You don’t need to apologize about that. It’s your life. You’ve got to live it. You’ve got to face you at the end of the road.” 

Her fingers wrap around. Calum’s shocked at how warm her hands are. How she just seems to get it and get him. It’s silent a moment between them. Morgan knows. She always knows with a simple touch. He’s going to find that stability. It make take him scrapping his knees a few times due to falling but he’ll get it right eventually. 

Her eyes open. For a moment, just a split second, Calum’s sure he can see some gold swirling in the dark brown-almost black of her irises. By the time he blinks again. It’s gone. “How does that song go? I walk a lonely road,” she sings. Calum laughs, head dropping on his neck and he squeezes her hands in his. 

Calum feels her hand leaving his pocket as they exit the restaurant. When he reaches inside and finds the twenty dollar bill, he sighs. Morgan’s already crossing the parking lot. They parked right next to each other. His was a few minutes late having to take Duke out before he left. But he knew her face when he saw her standing against her trunk. 

Calum’s boots thud down onto the asphalt and he catches her by the back pocket of her jeans, slipping the bill inside. She laughs, spinning around. Her elbow comes down on his forearm. Not hard by any stretch. Just enough of a tap to warn Calum. His body pins her to her trunk just for a moment. “What do you think you’re doing sir?”

“I asked you on the date. So I’m gonna pay.”

“Gas money. Toy money for Duke.”

“Keep your money Morgan.” He starts backwards to his own vehicle. She starts after him. “Oi! Don’t.” 

A scuffle ensues. Calum holding her arms down at her side. She’s leaning forward trying to push against his hold. She knows she can’t physically break it. She doesn’t need to. Their laughter bubbles around the night, echoing high off the empty looking skies. In the bright light of the sign, Morgan twirls her fingers the gold flecks reflecting off the tips of her fingers. The bill slips out of her pocket and into his. But Calum doesn’t notice. Not as he laughs into her afro and neck, trying not to memorize the scent of her shampoo. 

“Don’t try it. Really. Don’t give it back to me.” He’s trying to sound more serious than he is. But his words always dissolve into laughter. 

Her feet are dragging, unable to get real traction to break Calum’s pin. “Alright, alright, alright,” she huffs, still laughing into his chest. 

He straights up, leaning slightly forward to counter her force. His hands slide down from her wrist to hook the tips of their fingers together before that hold slackens. Fingers slide and their pinkies hook. “You’re a stubborn one, I see.”

“Momma always called me a bull,” Morgan returns. Her chest is still heavy from their laughter and the force she exerted to lose in a match of brute strength against Calum. “Guess she saw it before anyone else.” 

He almost wants to pull on a curl, watch it bounce like it did before at the table. But he stops himself. “Just call me sometimes, alright? So I can see what trouble you’re getting into.”

“I will. Thanks for the waffles.”

“Anytime you’re in town, we can get them.”

Calum watches sure Morgan pulls off first. Watches her car disappear into the traffic and then he climbs inside. When he buckles his seatbelt part of his jacket gets in the way so he tugs at it, pulling it out of the way. Something crinkles. He almost’s sure it’s just some old receipt. But he pats the pocket. It rustles again. His finger grasps what’s inside. A receipt like he thought. And the twenty dollar bill. “How the hell?”

When Morgan checks her phone again, pulled into a rest stop along Highway One, she sees a message from Calum. I don’t know what magic you pulled. But when you get settled. Send me the address. This twenty’s got a trip to make.

If Morgan knew she’d be meeting her match when it came to stubborn, she would’ve made that twenty a little harder to find. 

[jemej3m]

gaming au

headcannons because im lazy but i love this idea

- neil is the same sort of vibe as RTGame, who plays whatever the fuck he wants, screws everything up majorly every time, and loves to roast everyone and everything 

- andrew is callmecarson and his career is literally just fucking with people 

- they’re both mostly streaming on twitch: Neil has no face-cam, whilst andrew does and its just him being completely deadpan and apathetic 

- “person101 has subbed for 3 months!” andrew: looks deadpan into the camera, says “you’re wasting your money”

- kevin and riko used to be fOrtNitE bOiiiis WHERE WE DROPPIN but then kevin didn’t want to play fortnite anymore and riko kicked him out, so he moved in with andrew cuz andrew hates fortnite 

*this was getting too long yikes*

- nicky’s a sims player bless his soul, he loves sims 3 and wont let it go even though it breaks his computer

- dan and matt absolutely obliterate 1st-person shooter games together 

- renee loves story games: life’s strange, detroit: become human, etc 

- allison’s a survival games bitch, loves don’t starve together, hardcore minecraft, but also plays shitty barbie fashion games and nitpicks at the programming 

- i imagine seth as like an angry 12 year old on twitch, that everyone just laughs at for getting aggressive too easy

- aaron plays whatever, mostly riding the mediocre cash inflow for med school and gets popular because of his criticism of surgeon games, but he loves VR (andrew does too) and sometimes he streams instead of andrew until someone notices

- gamers always coordinate into little groups: this bunch have a discord chat together and often collaborate, except andrew, cuz he’s a *lone wolf* (get over urself andrew) 

so how do andrew and neil meet, u wonder? how does neil get initiated into this discord group? where does the nickname foxes come from? where’s wymack in all this? 

- so basically i imagine wymack as a game developer and he’s found this group of gamers who are actually funny and are slowly getting popular, so he reaches out and asks them if they want to try this game out, he’s just getting started with it, what are their opinions?  

- it obviously can’t be everything each of them every dreamed of, but Mission F0X is actually a lit fuckin game with aspects that everyone can enjoy:

- nicky loves making new characters 

- dan and matt fucking ace the shoot outs 

- renee loves the choose-your-destiny aspect, and how you can see the percentage of people who went different routes 

- allison just loves the adorable fox companion 

- seth is pumped for when it’s getting released so he can blow other people up 

- aaron doesn’t care but him and kevin end up finishing all the minigames in two weeks so wymack has to make more because kevin’s getting pissy 

- andrew zones out as soon as anyone mentions fox because he couldn’t care less 

- until 

- this “””””neil josten””””””” streamer plays Mission F0X upon its beta release, and tears into the game. like, brutally. he actually praises it too, but everyone’s distracted by his character, who he’s designed to have eyebrows on his chin and backwards ears and eyes on his forehead because wymack allowed that for some reason, and then he’s able to yeet the fox companion over a cliff but it bounces back, and all this ridiculous, crazy shit

- the foxes (as theyve dubbed themselves) think he’s high-key hilarious. they’re planning to reach out to him, but andrew doesn’t trust a streamer who doesn’t have a face cam, it’s fuckin 2019 bro, wtf

- so he goes onto Neil’s minecraft server, because he has this series, where he goes onto famous streamer’s servers and griefs shit until he gets kicked, because he’s andrew 

except this time, it’s not one of neil’s mods (robin or brian or jack or sheena), it’s neil himself. he’s streaming. they’re both live, looking at each other as a building behind andrew blows up 

- “thats not very nice” 

- “whaddaya gonne do, kick me?” (andrew is like an angsty emo 12 yr old i love him) 

- neil instead says “nah ill let you be a mod”

- everyone’s like ????? he’s griefing your shit, and you’re gonna make him a moderator?

- andrew is also thoroughly confused 

- neil’s popularity, meanwhile, is skyrocketing. everyone wants him to get together with the foxes and play Mission F0X. Wymack has gruffly acknowledged all of the glitches and quirks neil’s criticised and is working to change them. andrew’s a mod on his minecraft server, and sometimes they work together (out of stream) in complete silence (not even on a call, just sometimes private messaging on discord about details or coordinates) as they clean up some shit on neil’s crazy server. they also work super hard on a map room (like RTGame’s server’s crazy fuckin map room holy SHIT goals)

- then all of a sudden andrew announces that he and neil are doing a fuckin mission F0X letsplay together, when he’s openly hated on the foxes’ obsession with Mission F0X, and neil has refused to work with the foxes because he’s scared of his new-found popularity. 

- everyone, once more, is like ????????

- unbeknownst to literally everyone on the planet, they’ve met up. neil explained why he’s avoiding kevin, even if his father’s dead, and he’s technically safe. the moriyamas own his ass and he can’t out himself like that. andrew thinks he’s being ridiculous because he’s never signed a contract and there’s nothing legally binding him to play for riko and moriyama gaming. 

- i just have this scene in my head where andrew has killed neil’s fox companion, carved “u r hot” onto it and chucking it at Neil’s head (who, mind you, is neil’s interpretation of his appearance, but god-knows he’s watered down his hotness because he’s so oblivious and andrew hates him)

- neil just laughs and tells andrew to pick him up at 7. andrew uses half of his health to revive his stupid fox companion, just like neil knew he would.

- andrew’s the only one streaming this episode: they take it in turns. he’s blushing like mad.

- nicky’s yelling THATS GAY and aaron is shaking his head and kevin is still Fuming that neil has refused to work with him but will work (and hook up) with andrew 

- eventually wymack sponsors him to play the prerelease of the Full Game and neil meets up with the rest of the foxes absOLUTELY DEBAUCHED BECAUSE HE HITCHED A RIDE WITH ANDREW AND THEY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT

- and everyones like. yep. okay. this kid managed to wrangle the monster of online gaming, makes him blush on stream and now walks in with their hands entwined like they’ve been dating for years. Respect. 

aaaaaaaaand yea thats all for now gnight

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 3

AO3

~*~Sebastian~*~

I straightened my clothes when I got out of the SUV. I realize my first impression is already shot to hell, but I'm attempting to make up some ground. In front of her door I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths before knocking. I tried to re-frame my sudden nervousness as excitement. When she opened the door two things happened. My mouth started to water and my jeans shrank at least one size.

I went with it. "You look beautiful." I kept my voice soft and smiled.

The peach shirt and white jacket set off her eyes and slightly tanned skin. I liked the slight swell of her breasts showing out the top of her shirt. Just sexy enough. I mean, I have nothing against naked breasts, rather like them, but this was a good first date look. Believe it or not, there is such a thing as too much. And there's time and place for more. This wasn't it.

Emma smiled and put her hand on my bicep, "Thank you. You clean up nicely."

I laughed, "I didn't really pack for a dinner date."

"I thought you might be limited, so I went with jeans."

My head jerked a little in surprise. "That's really nice. Thank you." I had to stop myself from staring. I'm not sure what I'm more amazed by: her kindness or the ease with which she speaks about her thought process. She says it like it's no big deal, but it is. Or maybe I'm more jaded than I thought. I snapped myself out of my thoughts, "Ready to go?" She nodded and I put my hand on her lower back, leading her to the vehicle.

I started backing out and remembered I didn't know where we were going. I put on the brake, rested my hands on the steering wheel, and looked over, "Which way? Where we going?"

"I had two ideas. In town there's a pub. Typical pub food. Bar on one side. Restaurant on the other. Probably live music, but its not loud on the restaurant side. Or about five miles north there's a place on the river with outdoor tables. They specialize in ribs and barbecue, but have everything from steak to seafood."

"Outside on the river sounds good. Nice night for it." I pointed at the navigation screen. "You put it in. Then we can talk without getting lost."

She laughed, "Are you sure we haven't met before? I'd completely get talking and forget to tell you where to turn."

"I think I'd remember." I smiled and watched her press the buttons. Her nails where longer than her fingertips. Long enough to feel, but not so long as to do damage. I should probably stop thinking like that or my my pants are going to shrink more.

"How is the moving going?"

"Good. They hired movers for the actual move. I'm here to shift boxes to other rooms, hook up electronics, and hang things. I think mom used the move as an excuse to get me to visit. When my step-dad retired they moved upstate. Now they're closer again, so it'll be easier."

"Are you an only child?"

"I am. Mom and I left Romania when I was eight then moved to New York when I was twelve." I didn't know if she knew my history or not. It was very vain to think she'd googled and read interviews. I wasn't sure if she was a fan. I liked how my job wasn't part of the conversation. That couldn’t last, but it was nice for now. "What about you?"

“I have an identical twin. Amelia.”

I don't think she was done talking, but I burst in. “That's so cool. Emiliana and Amelia. Did you switch around to fuck with teachers and boyfriends?”

An evil grin crossed her face. “All the time. Our parents mostly. They could never tell us apart. They tell this story about how my dad was so sleep deprived that he forgot to put on our color coded booties and they're not one hundred percent sure which one we really are.”

“Oh fuck! Priceless.”

“Once we hit our junior year Amy cut her hair and started dying it red. If we wanted to pull anything off we had to pull our hair up and shove on a hat. She's got a daughter now and since we're identical twins Katie is genetically my daughter too.”

My mouth dropped open, "I'd never thought of that." I raised my eyebrows, "Never been out with a mom before."

"First time for everything."

We laughed and conversation was easy the rest of the short drive. She pointed out the river walk and restaurant as we drove across the bridge. I was thinking an after dinner stroll was a good idea.

It was early enough that getting a table by the water wasn't a problem. Either the time or the hostess recognized me. She sat us in the corner of the deck with water on both sides. It was a beautiful view. My date and the scenery. Date was better. Before the hostess left she looked at me, "I'll send your server right over, Mr. Stan."

I guess that answers that.

There was a drink menu on the table. I picked it up and looked at Emma, "Do you drink?" She nodded and I handed her the menu. "A beer on the water sounds good."

The server showed up, took our drink orders, and by the time she brought our beers we were ready to order. There was a lull in conversation between discussing the menu and whatever was going to come next. We both took a drink to fill the space. I pulled at the label on my bottle nervously. "What do you for a living?" I knew I was opening the door for the same question, but it was the next logical topic.

"I teach first grade."

I never had a teacher who looked like her. "Why first?" I liked finding out why people made the choices they did.

"I like teaching the little people to read. Kindergartners are too squirrelly. There's a lot of time just teaching them how to be in school. Lots of crying in Kindergarten. Fifth graders are starting to be smart asses."

I nearly spit my beer across the table.

She laughed and handed me a napkin from the dispenser on the table, "They are! The hormones are starting to kick in. No thank you. Third and fourth are assessment years and it's all about getting them ready. Second is this weird hybrid where you're reteaching what they missed in first and getting their basic skills ready for third." She took a drink and continued. "First graders are perfect. They get so excited when they can put sounds together to make words and then read the words in a book. Or when they figure out three plus two is the same as counting three stars and two stars, figuring out the algorithm. I love teaching them to subitize. That’s knowing how many things there are without counting them. We play songs and games. Their little faces light up and they're so proud of themselves. The ones who struggle. It's hard to figure out how to help them and keep their confidence up. They break my heart." She put her hand over hers.

Her love of what she did was obvious. I couldn't remember talking to a teacher after I left school. My teachers just tortured me with homework, papers, projects, and group work. I shook my head, "Until right this second I had never thought of a teacher being excited about their students learning."

"You either had shitty teachers or hated school."

"Both." I looked up, searching my memory. "Leaving Romania was good, but I didn't speak anything but Romanian. I was a good student, but when we moved to Vienna I had to start over. I couldn't communicate. I couldn't read. It was hard. Mom threw a fit because my teachers used the language issue to not push me. She wasn’t having it. Then we moved here and it was starting over again. I was in that awkward stage, had at least three chins, didn't have any friends, and could barely speak English."

She cringed, "I don’t like your teachers. You have to work harder. There's always kids with stories. Whether they’re new, or a parent has died, or they don't speak English, or they've been abused, or they’re just different. You have to work harder to find a way to connect with them and be different for them. You have to have the relationship to help them learn. I'm not going to lie, sometimes you don't like a kid, but that's the job. You're the adult. Figure out how to make it work."

"Yeah, I didn't have teachers like you. It got better. Puberty helped and so did partying." I smirked around my beer bottle as I drank. "My teachers didn't look like you either. Would have paid more attention if they had. Well, maybe not paid attention, but enjoyed class more."

Her shoulders raised a little and one side of her mouth curled up, "Want me to teach you to read or something, Seb?"

"Now there's a loaded question." She’s still figuring out what to call me. Fuck.  I might be sad when she figures it out and sticks to one name.

Luckily or unluckily our appetizers arrived. The flirting was fun, but we’re early into dinner. Lots of time for flirting. Good to mix it up.

We'd ordered a sampler. I picked up one of the fried pickles, "There's a place in Atlanta where these are called frickle pickles."

"I grew up in Alpharetta."

"Did you? I've spent a lot of time in Atlanta." I kept going without even thinking. "The Marvel movies filmed there and most of Falcon and the Winter Soldier will be filmed there." I stopped with a pickle about to my mouth. "Umm."

"There's the elephant in the room." Emma popped a french fry covered in cheese and bacon in her mouth.

I chewed my pickle slowly to buy a little time. What for I don't know. It's awkward. I wiped off my hands and finished my beer. "I was enjoying ignoring the elephant." I leaned forward onto the table. "I liked just being a guy on a date."

"You still are." The look on her face was showed she was amused.

I liked that she wasn’t taking the topic seriously. I'm pissed I brought it up. We were doing fine getting to know each other without the complications of what I do. No one explains that part to you in acting school. You just learn about the craft, business, and what not to do an audition. They don't teach you about someone posting a picture of you laying shirtless in the park. You're doing what everyone else is doing, but if you were anyone else no one would care about you laying in the park getting some sun. This is why actors, and models, and sports stars date other actors, and models, and sports stars. All of those things which become a normal part of your life are normal for them too. It's not normal to other people. And until I mentioned filming in Atlanta I was having a damn fine time being a guy helping his parents move.

I want to fucking scream.

I drummed my fingers beside the plate. "I liked being the homeless guy you met in the baking aisle."

She frowned and put her hand over mine, "I didn't think you were homeless. There's a rehab facility up the road. I thought you were an addict stopping for chocolate before checking in. To help with the withdrawal."

I threw my head back and laughed hard. "Even better!" I turned my hand over, holding her fingers, and rubbing my thumb over her soft skin. "Can I go back to being that guy?"

“You're still the sweet guy running errands for his mom. The one I waited for at the check out. Before I knew his name or recognized him."

My eyes were wide and I was doing that thing I do where I'm licking my lips and playing with my tongue. That can mean lots of things. Right now is intrigued with a side of slightly nervous.

"It's going to be hard to get to know you if you don't tell me about your friends and what you do with your downtime."

She had a good point. I wasn't sure what my plan had been. Her talking about herself all night wasn't going to work. "I can do that. Talk about my friends."

Things have gotten more complicated. Not for the reason I expected. We've pretty much worked around the how do I be an ordinary man with a not so ordinary job problem. Now the problem is I'm holding her hand. It's soft and warm and I don't want to let go. I want to stay touching her. I can not figure out how we're going to eat.

[yoon-ing]

Not So Unaffected

Jungkook x Reader 

Word Count: 6.2k

[A/N]: i love jungkook with my entire being; happy belated birthday my baby boy

When your plan to convince your ex you’re not that into him goes completely wrong

Putting yet another bobby pin in your hair, your gaze leaves your reflection for a moment to meet the eyes of your friend who is perched on the corner of your mattress, staring at you with nothing but disappointment written across her features.

“Is this really necessary?” she asks, finally speaking up after sitting around your apartment for the last hour and a half watching you run up and down trying to find the perfect shade of blush, or draw the perfect wing of your eyeliner, or get the perfect curl despite almost burning your scalp more than once.

“Three years. We dated for three years and it took him less than a month to move on?” you bite back, your tone bitter and full of resentment.

“Still, I don’t think this is a good idea,” she says, reiterating the same thing she has been saying since you first mentioned it to her a week ago.

Releasing a sigh, you swivel around on your chair to face her. “I’ll be in and out of there in a flash, I just need to show him how unaffected I am by this.”

“But you aren’t unaffected,” she points out and she’s right, because if you really didn’t care, you wouldn’t be running around like a mad woman trying to make yourself look better than you ever have.

“Well he doesn’t need to know that,” you reply pointedly. “Now come help me zip this up,” you say changing the subject as you step into the dress you purchased for this specific event, the gown long and blue, navy silk hugging your curves, dipping down to leave your back exposed.

She doesn’t say anymore, doing as told, zipping her lips and zipping your dress. You spin around to face the full length mirror, taking in the reflection that feels so foreign, a dolled up beauty staring back at you. Awkwardly, you adjust the fabric that wraps around your thighs, playing with the material that falls to the floor, so smooth and soft, but mostly unfamiliar.

A whistle comes from your friend as she steps up beside you, her eyes focused on your reflection, looking you up and down. “Jeon Jungkook, you’ve got another think coming.”

“Do I look okay?” you ask shyly, beginning to wonder if this is too much. Every concern of yours is being hushed away until the taxi is pulling up and you’re stepping in with a nervous heart.

-

Each step is calculated and careful, the fabric of your dress balled in one hand as you focus on not stumbling over your own feet. The marble floors are covered in a protective red carpet that makes you feel fancy and you follow it down the hotel lobby, stopping in front of large wooden doors where a woman behind a small podium asks for your name. Her finger trails down a list of guests and the thumping in your chest makes part of you hope that she doesn’t find it, but she looks up with a smile and says, “enjoy your evening, Ms. Y/N.”

A slight nod is all you can muster in return and a polite smile pulls at your lips for only a moment before the doorman is opening the entrance way and stepping aside to let you through, your composure wavering as you struggle to find the courage to enter the grand room. The first step is overwhelming with music and chatter filling the air, the soft lighting of chandeliers bringing warmth to the room; there are bodies scattered throughout the space, some dressed in gowns as elegant as your own and others in black ties and perfectly pressed suits. Waiters move between the crowds ensuring flutes of champagne are always topped up and hors d’oeuvres of the most expensive kind are being served.

This is supposed to be some sort of charity gala for Jimin’s company, but you know it’s only an excuse to throw an elaborate cocktail party whilst making himself look good. You’ve never attended in the years previous, too intimidated by the corporate world, but when Jimin personally called to ensure that the offer still stood although you and Jungkook had split, you found yourself accepting the invitation.  

It takes you a matter of seconds to spot Jungkook in the crowd, standing tall in a suit tailored perfectly to his body and you allow yourself to admit that he looks stunning, but before you can get swept up in his perfect hair and charming smile, you pull your gaze away and redirect your attention to Jimin.

“Wow… Y/N, you’re breathtaking,” Jimin greets instead of a usual ‘hello’ when you approach him.

“You think?” you say, awkwardly fidgeting with the fabric of your dress, “it’s not too much?”

“No, no, you’re beautiful,” he reassures, “can I get you a drink?” Jimin doesn’t wait for a response and waves over one of the servers holding a tray of champagne.

He hands you the glass and you gladly take it, needing something to wash down the nerves that find their way into your throat. It doesn’t take long for the rest of the boys to spot you, greeting you with open arms and tight hugs and soon, all anxiousness is forgotten and you begin to enjoy yourself. It feels as if nothing has changed, they’re all joking around and treating you the same as they always have, something you’re grateful for.

As much as you’re enjoying yourself, you can’t shake the feeling that someone is watching you, and for good reason too, because the number of times the boys’ eyes stray past you to someone in the distance you don’t need to look to confirm who they’re looking at.

“If you’ll excuse me, there’s someone I need to say hello to,” you tell the group once there’s enough bubbly in your system. They’re wary to let you go, but with the glances you’ve spared to the man across the room, it’s not you they should be worried about.

Jungkook looks equally as uncomfortable as he does stunning, and boy must you admit he’s a looker. It’s obvious he’s not expecting you to be here, especially with his little miss draped around his arms, but you don’t feel any sense of jealousy, instead your confidence levels are soaring with the way he watches you, almost as if he can’t believe his eyes. He looks at you as if you’re the only person in the room and each step closer gives you more courage, sauntering over with your hips swaying and his eyes shaking.

“Fancy meeting you here,” you say once you’re standing face to face with Jungkook.  

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” he questions with a raised eyebrow, trying to hide how obviously fazed he is by your attendance.

A sly smile lingers on your lips for a moment instead of offering a response and you direct your attention to the girl standing beside him, doe eyed and innocent.

“I’m Y/N,” you introduce with an outstretched hand. She doesn’t bat an eye as she takes your hand in hers and tells you her own name is Kim Jiwoo. She doesn’t know who you are and that in itself is a small victory, she can’t possibly be important to Jungkook.

“How do you two know each other?” she asks politely, making small talk.

“We-” Jungkook begins before you cut him off.

“We’re just acquaintances,” you finish for him and while she stares at you attentively, your gaze is locked on Jungkook, catching the hurt that flashes across his eyes momentarily before he composes himself and takes another sip of his drink.

But you’ve gotten everything you came here for, so you retreat back into the crowd, away from the confrontation that you refuse to admit is killing you and look for Jimin to announce your departure.

“Running away from Jungkook already?” Namjoon asks as he walks into the conversation you’re having with Jimin, that’s mostly just you making up excuses.

“What- no, I just-” You’re unable to come up with something to say before Namjoon is holding out his hand to you.

“How about a dance before you run off like a damsel in distress?”

You let him take your hand and guide you out onto the floor where the crowd is sparse and instead bodies sway to the live band that has music bouncing off the walls.

“He hasn’t been doing well,” Namjoon says after a moment of neither of you talking.

You know he’s staring right at you, but you can’t bring yourself to look up as you speak back. “So? What does that have to do with me?” The words come out harsher than you intend and the aftertaste is bitter on your tongue.

“Y/N, I know you care about him.”

“Cared,” you correct, still averting eye contact.

“No one comes out of a 3 year relationship and instantly stops caring.”

“That’s what I thought,” you remark with what comes out as resentment, but it doesn’t take much to see beyond your mask that it pains you and you’re no longer referring to yourself as your eyes travel to Jungkook downing drinks with his date’s arms wound tightly around his waist.

Namjoon doesn’t pry anymore, all the answers written in the way your eyes sadden each time Jungkook leans down to whisper in his date’s ear, holding her close as they share a secret conversation that has her lips stretched into a permanent smile. It’s not until Namjoon is speaking once more that you realize your eyes have been glued to the other side of the room.

“You’ll stay and chat for a little while, won’t you? Not for him, but for us?”

You can’t decline the request, especially when the boys have been so kind to you despite the termination of your relationship with Jungkook; you’ve been meaning to catch up, you know they worry when their texts asking how you’re doing go unanswered.

Your dance with Namjoon doesn’t last to the end of the song with Hoseok stealing you away, claiming that Namjoon has been hogging you. After the polite amount of dancing, you’re finally able to get a break with the excuse of wanting another drink and Hoseok is happy to accompany you to the bar before the two of you join the other boys.

-

“She’s not even that pretty,” Jimin chirps when he catches you staring across the room once again. You know he’s trying to make you feel better, but your eyes tinted green with envy don’t hide the fact that she’s gorgeous and you give an absentminded nod as your response.

“I bet her personality isn’t even that great,” he continues, taking baseless digs at her.

“She seems a lot nicer than the other girls.” A figure looms tall behind you and you hardly make out the voice to be Taehyung’s as your insides twist, your stomach knotting in a tangled mess as it dons on you for the first time that this isn’t the first girl Jungkook has been with since the split. An ‘oof’ from behind you tells you that Taehyung has just taken Jimin’s fist in the stomach before being dragged away, their presence being replaced by Seokjin coming up next to you.

“How many?” you ask, your eyes trained on the man who continues to break your heart into more pieces than you ever thought possible.

“I don’t know, Y/N,” Seokjin says quietly, unsure of how to respond.

“Is that what Namjoon meant when he said he’s not doing well?” you inquire.

“I mean, I can’t say for sure, but… probably.” And that’s enough confirmation for you. “We’re worried about him.”

“He seems to be doing fine to me,” you bitterly remark, your tongue lodged in your cheek as you give Jungkook one last glance.

-

The evening is going smoothly, you’ve managed to keep your cool despite the blood boiling in your veins. You focus solely on the drink in your hand, watching it bubble each time Jimin waves over a waiter to top off your glass. Conversation remains mostly between the boys, you taking no initiative to join in unless directly addressed, too busy trying to keep your composure to be actively social.

You feel him coming before anything else, some sort of sixth sense you’ve acquired over the years that announces his presence before he does. Your head is the first to turn before six others follow and all eyes are on Jungkook who is no longer on the other side of the room but merely a few steps away, coming straight to the group with his date latched onto his arm.

He comes up next to you, to squeeze into the circle of his friends and a rush of panic surges through your veins, your body acting on its own as you not so subtly step aside. Seeing the way you cower away, your confidence wavering, Jimin wraps an arm around your waist to ground you and you’re able to come back to your senses without drawing any more attention to yourself. Gratefully, you smile up at Jimin and tuck yourself into his side, feeling a lot more comfortable even though it’s someone else’s warmth you want to be wrapped up in.

Jungkook spares only a glance in your direction before turning back to face his friends, clearing his throat to draw attention to himself, as if everyone wasn’t already staring at him.

“I’d like to introduce you all to my date, Jiwoo,” he announces. “Jiwoo, these are my friends, Yoongi, Hoseok, Taehyung, Namjoon, Seokjin, Jimin, and-”

You stiffen when he gets to you, hyper aware of all the eyes boring into your skin.

“Y/N, right?” she cuts in, giving you a friendly smile.

You want to hate her, but you have no valid reason to; it’s not her fault that Jungkook is a complete jackass, and with a smile as innocent as hers, it’s hard not to smile back.

The polite amount of ‘nice to meet you’s and hand shaking finds it way around the circle until the boys are engaging in conversation once again. Jiwoo‘s instinct is to turn to you, your face being the most familiar of the group although you’ve only met an hour earlier.

“Are you and Jimin together? she asks with genuine curiosity and the way Jungkook’s stare focuses on the hand around your waist, you almost feel guilty, as if being here in Jimin’s embrace is wrong. But you convince yourself otherwise because Jimin is your friend and right now he’s being nothing more than a support system; and it’s not like you’re cheating on your boyfriend because that relationship seized to exist three weeks ago when he broke your heart and is now standing in front of you with a date of his own.

“Unfortunately no, but any man would be lucky to have a girlfriend as beautiful as her,” Jimin replies in your stead. Each of his words are directed to Jungkook, sharp as darts as Jungkook clenches his jaw ever so slightly, indicating that Jimin has hit the target right in the bullseye.

“Oh,” Jiwoo says, clearly surprised, not getting the answer she expected, “well you two look good together.”

You’re not sure what Jungkook was hoping to accomplish bringing this girl over here, but whatever it is, it’s clear it has backfired in the way he shifts uncomfortably on his feet, his tongue lodged in his cheek as his eyes keep gravitating to the place where Jimin’s hand rests on your waist.

“Aren’t they cute?” she asks Jungkook, and you think you’re starting to like her and the way her every word so naively pushes Jungkook closer to the edge.

“I’d expect Y/N to have better taste in men,” Jungkook bites, his tone nothing but hostile as he stares at Jimin as if he’s strangling him in his mind.

“I agree,” Jimin says, this becoming a stand off. “Y/N has terrible taste in men.”

Jimin’s response is a jab at Jungkook, but you can’t pay any attention to it because this is the first time Jungkook has said your name in almost a month and it sounds so much better than you remember, as sweet as honey in the way it drips off his tongue, asking to be eaten up by your lips.

It takes everything in you not to run up to Jungkook, stop this useless argument with a kiss you know he won’t reject, but before you can act on your instinct, Hoseok and Namjoon are coming between Jungkook and Jimin, stopping the banter before it escalates into a full-fledged fight, and in turn saving you from doing something you’ll regret.

With a disapproving shake of your head, you turn on your heel to walk away, only to have your name called out by the voice you’ve been yearning to hear. You stop in your tracks and Jungkook makes a move to step closer, reaching out to you in a way that’s so natural to him that he’s taken aback when Hoseok and Namjoon interject, acting as a wall between you and Jungkook.

Anger flares in his eyes at the protective nature all the boys have developed around you and him, feeling offended that they would even think you need protecting from him of all people.

“I’d like to speak to you alone,” he says looking at you, “if your bodyguards-” he practically hisses the word with his attention flashing to Namjoon and Hoseok for a moment, “-would allow me.”

The two look at you, waiting for assurance that they get from a small nod of your head, before they move aside and Jungkook is clear to follow you out.

-

“What are you doing?” Jungkook demands once you’re alone. You’re hardly out of the party when he begins to speak, following closely behind you as you find quiet in a hallway that leads to the restrooms.

“Me?” you ask, whipping around to face him, slightly offended. “What are you doing?” you bite back.

“I’m not doing anything, Ms. Flirts-With-Her-Boyfriend’s-Friends.”

It’s too late by time he notices his slip up, the word ‘boyfriend’ hanging in the air without the recent ‘ex’ attached to the beginning as it has been for the past 3 weeks.

“You’re not my boyfriend,” you speak no louder than a whisper, your face hard as you stare into the distance, unable to bear looking him in the eyes.

There’s only a moment of silence between you and him, the muted music nothing more than white noise as the tension so thick feels like it’s stuck in your throat, suffocating you until you can’t breathe anymore. When Jungkook’s next words cut through it, it’s jagged and sharp, painful as it forces its way through the two of you.

“Do you want to know why I like her?” he asks, with an expression that says he genuinely believes this is the right way to direct the conversation.

“Honestly, no.” You answer truthfully, and you can’t believe you’re standing here having this conversation with him, because why in the world would you want to hear the man (you don’t want to admit) you’re in love with, profess his love for another woman?

“She reminds me of you.”

Silence. He’s waiting for you to respond, trying to read your expression that goes through a range of emotions before settling on a mask that you hope seems indifferent.  The first is anger – angry that he has the audacity to come here and even say these things to you. Next is confusion, why is that his reason for dating her? Your confusion quickly transitions to sadness, your heart feeling for him that he’s so hurt he has to look for you, and what you and he had in someone else. But finally, you realize it’s no longer your concern, he’s the one who ended it, you shouldn’t have to worry about him when you have yourself to worry about.  

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” you say, your face stoic and uncaring. But the truth is you can’t talk about this anymore. No matter how nonchalant you may look, your heart is hurting, for yourself, for him, and for what you two used to be. Your throat burns trying to hold down the sobs that threaten to rack your body and you don’t know how much longer you can stand here pretending like everything is fine.

“Y/N, please,” he desperately begs, his voice reflecting the hurt that is etched onto his every feature. But it’s too late, you’re already turning on your heel and beelining it to the ladies’ room, leaving him behind to crumble on his own as he once did to you.

-

By time you slam the door behind you, the tears are already pouring and your legs can hardly hold you up. You stumble to the sinks, planting your hands on the counter to stable yourself, the cold surface feeling refreshing against your hot skin. One look in the mirror and you let the sobs take over your body, crumbling to the floor with the weight of your guilt and sadness pushing you down. You look pathetic, you knew that much, make up already streaming down your cheeks when you saw yourself in the mirror and now crouched down on the bathroom floor with your face buried in your hands; it isn’t a good look on you.

It doesn’t take much for you to come back to your senses, suddenly becoming hyperaware of where you are and what you’re doing, as if you’re a child throwing a tantrum in public because your mommy won’t buy you ice cream. You can hear the clicking of heels coming down the hall and you pull yourself up, wobbling into a stall with the tears already drying on your cheeks. A few more sniffles and you wipe your nose clean with more toilet paper than necessary, going silent before you hear the door open and the click clack echo into the stall next to you. With the sound of a flush and the tap being turned off, you open the stall door to let yourself out of hiding, standing in the middle of the bathroom, more alone than you have ever felt before.

You take a good look at yourself, what are you doing? Standing in a bathroom crying over the past when there’s a magnificent party going on right outside the door. You look stunning, save for the mess that its your face, but your hair is still in place, dress falling beautifully over the shape of your body. Who were you kidding? This isn’t you. You aren’t some high end, champagne-drinking, beauty queen socialite. This isn’t your scene, it never was. You came here for one reason and now that that reason has completely shattered you to pieces once again, it’s time to call it a night, admit to yourself that your best friend was right about coming here and seeing him. It was self sabotage from the very beginning, knowing very well that this wouldn’t have and could never have worked out in your favour.

You’re just about finished putting on your face once again, your mascara back on your lashes and no longer smeared down your cheeks, when you hear the door open. Not making much of it, you continue what you’re doing, not paying any attention to the party guest who just entered the small space.

“Y/N,” the voice is quiet and shy when it comes from behind you.

You look up in the mirror to see Jiwoo’s reflection staring at you; her twiddling thumbs and timid gaze tells you she’s intimidated to be standing here with you and her eyes don’t stay locked on yours for long. Putting the cap back on your lipstick, you turn to face her, your most pleasant fake smile plastered across your face as if you didn’t just have a complete breakdown on the bathroom floor.

“What’s up?” you casually greet, keeping it short to avoid the inevitable cracking of your voice that comes hand in hand with the emotions lodged in your throat, threatening to resurface at any given moment.

“You and Jungkook… you’re not just acquaintances, are you?” The way she carefully asks her question, it’s obvious she already knows the answer.

“Who told you?” you ask in response, filing through the boys in your mind to figure out which of the group would be the most likely to let on your not so quiet past with Jungkook.

“No one,” she says to your surprise and before you can ask how she knows, she’s answering your question. “He’s drunk, Y/N, and he said he won’t listen to anyone but you.”

Your heart sinks at that, Jungkook knows his limit and rarely does he go over it, but that’s no longer your concern. “I’m sorry to hear that, someone should call his driver.” Your response sounds harsh even to your own ears and you repress the guilt that has you wanting to take back your words, to run outside and find Jungkook, to comfort him and bring him home with you.

“But-” is all Jiwoo can get out before you cut her off.

“I really have to get going,” you say, tucking your clutch under your arm and walking around her to exit the bathroom.

Your escape doesn’t go as planned; in your head it was rather simple, you would disappear into the crowd and slip out the door without anyone noticing, home free as you hail a cab. There was just one teensy flaw: Park Jimin. He’s like a hawk, circling around until he finds his target, narrowing in on you before you can even glance in the direction of the door.

“Y/N.” There’s urgency in his voice as he reaches out to grab your arm. “I’ve been looking all over for you, Jungkook is out of control.”

You have to physically remove his hand from your arm when you stop in your tracks. “I heard, and I’m sorry, but that’s really none of my concern.”

“Y/N, you don’t mean that,” he tries to push, but it’s obvious you’re not having any of it. “Fine. Don’t do it for him, do it for me. There are business deals on the line and I don’t need word getting out that my charity ball turned into some drunken fiasco.”

He has talked you into a corner, it’s a solid argument and yeah, maybe you can find a loop hole if you really tried, but he’s giving you an out, a reason to be next to Jungkook and hold onto him the way you so wishfully spent the evening yearning for, no judgement from those around you for going back on your word of staring clear of him and no guilt in the pit of your stomach for doing exactly what you told yourself you wouldn’t. Taking a steadying breath, your response of ‘fine’ hardly has the chance to slip off your tongue and into conversation before Jimin is grabbing your hand and leading the way.

When they said Jungkook was out of control, they weren’t exaggerating. Leaving the dimly lit ballroom, it doesn’t take much to pin point Jungkook on the other side of the hotel lobby; it’s him against four security guards, struggling to unlatch himself from the men who have him pinned to the couch as he makes a fuss, cursing at them to let him go while threatening to have them fired from their jobs. Yoongi and Namjoon stand alongside the commotion, sighs of relief leaving their lips when they spot you and Jimin across the room and Jungkook’s attention is redirected to you as you approach the scene.

“Y/N!” Jungkook calls out, bolting out from his seat and almost knocking over the four men that hold him back. They struggle to contain him, their strength incomparable to his, and if he weren’t outnumbered, he would’ve plowed through them by now.

“It’s okay,” you say to one of the men, giving them the okay to let him go.

The security guard looks over at where Namjoon and Yoongi stand watching over the scene and a nod from Namjoon has their grip loosening on Jungkook’s arms, allowing him to break free of their restrictive hold.

The sheer force that he comes plummeting forward almost knocks you off your feet and his body slams into yours, his arms keeping you upright as they immediately wind around you.

“Y/N,” he calls out once more, the sound muffled by your hair that he nuzzles his face into. He’s blubbering words that you can’t quite make out and you’re pretty sure he’s at the overemotional stage of drunkenness, practically sobbing into where he has buried his face.

There’s hesitance in your every movement, unsure of your actions as you raise your arms that have just been hanging limply at your sides, to wrap them around his waist. You’re unsure how to feel, conflicted with all the emotions spinning in your head. The longing to hold him has been unbearable the past month, but just moments ago you decided that it’s time to get over him once and for all.

He feels exactly as you remember, his waist slim and shoulders broad, making you feel so small with his body wrapped around yours. He smells like the cologne you were so fond of, bringing you back to the days where you could spend all day just in his arms. It feels right – like home – no matter how many voices in your head tell you it’s wrong.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when Namjoon’s voice sounds from behind you.

“His driver is outside,” Namjoon says, continuing once you’ve unlatched yourself from Jungkook to face him. “Will you be okay getting him home?” And it’s not a question of your physical capabilities, but rather your emotional wellbeing.

“I’ll- we’ll be okay,” you say with a soft smile, reassuring him of all his underlying concerns.

-

“Would you like me to wait for you to come back down, Ms. Y/N?” Jungkook’s driver asks once the car has pulled into the parking garage of Jungkook’s building.

“There’s no need for that, I think I’ll stay with him awhile longer,” you say, brushing away the hair from the eyes of the sleeping boy on your lap.

A fond smile forms on his driver’s face and he gives you a small nod. “Very well then.”

“Jungkook, we’re home,” you coo softly, gently shaking awake the boy who looks so innocent and childlike, scrunching his nose and squirming away at the thought of leaving dreamland.

Once you get Jungkook upstairs, his couch is the furthest you can take him without crumbling at his dead weight in his drunken state. You lay him down carefully, trying your best not to just let him slip from your arms and end up on the floor. Once you’re sure he’s comfortable with a pillow tucked under his head, you stand from where you had been crouched down and attempt to turn away.

Before you register what’s happening, Jungkook’s arms wrap around your waist from behind, and he pulls you back so you fall onto the couch, seated on the edge with your back pressing against him.

“Y/N, don’t go, don’t leave me,” he says almost in a whimper, his tone still drunk but sounding desperate.

You shift on the couch so you’re facing him, looking down at him and the way his eyebrows furrow and lips pout. He curls his body closer to you and continues to mumble soft pleas until you hush him, petting his hair as you coo him to sleep. “Shhhh, don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”

Morning comes around with Jungkook still on the couch, feeling detached and alone when he opens his eyes and sees no sign of you. I knew it was too good to be true, he thinks to himself, forcing himself to sit up even though every gravitational pull on the planet tries to keep him down. His head spins and he can’t tell if the shitty feeling that has his stomach upside down is a result of the alcohol or because part of him actually believed you might have stayed by his side.

Jungkook sits with his head hanging, feeling sorry for himself and for the mess he’s made of his life when he hears the familiar beeping of the keypad on his front door, followed by a brief chime and the sound of the lock opening. He can hear the door open and his heart thumps so hard it’s lodged in his throat, because the only other person who knows his passcode is –

“Oh, you’re awake,” you remark once you enter the living room, kicking off a pair of slippers that are far too big for you.

“Y/N,” he barely manages to breathe out. If he thought you looked stunning last night, the way you look in an oversized sweater that he recognizes as his own with your hair pulled up in a ponytail, is immeasurable in comparison.

“I just stepped out to grab some coffee and carbs for your hangover,” you say casually, holding up the cardboard tray that holds two americanos and a bag of delicacies from the café across the street.

You cross the space to place them down on the small table and although you seem nonchalant, and even maybe cheerful, on the inside you feel like your ribs are closing in, squeezing your lungs so tight they might collapse, suffocating you from the inside out.

“I thought you left,” Jungkook quietly let’s out, not making eye contact with you when you take a seat on the couch. He nervously plays with the cuff of his shirt, still dressed in last night’s attire.

“Of course I didn’t leave, silly.” You try to lighten the mood, but to no avail because Jungkook doesn’t even glance in your direction, doing the most to avoid your gaze.

It’s painful sitting here with him, neither of you know what to do; what are you supposed to do in a situation like this? It stays silent for awhile and you don’t even move in fear of disturbing the still air that threatens to stifle you.

“I miss you.” He doesn’t move, doesn’t look at you to gage your reaction, and if it wasn’t for everything that happened last night you’d think it’s just your imagination, making up the words that you want to hear.

“I miss you too.” Your voice is no louder than a whisper.

“You do?” Jungkook asks quietly, finally turning to face you. He sounds genuinely surprised and it hurts your heart that for even a moment he doubted that you still love him.

“I do.”

“But everything you said last night,” he replies, not needing to say anymore. Your mind flashes back to that horrible scene in the bathroom hallway, how coldly you treated him when you turned on your heel and walked away.

“I was just trying to protect myself,” you tell him honestly.

“Do you think we could give this another try? Give us another try?”

You don’t miss the desperation that flashes across his eyes, and you want to say yes, you want to stop him from hurting, but your own suffering makes you hesitate. “How do I know it’ll work out this time?” you ask, sounding out your thoughts so he’s not sitting here in agony wondering what’s going through your mind. “How do I know you won’t just walk away again?” It hurts you to say it, to even think it, remembering how it felt just weeks ago when the relationship hit a rough patch and he packed up and left.

“The day I left you was the day I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I’ve regretted it every minute since.” His words are sincere, holding the truth you’ve hoped to hear since that dreadful day. “I knew I was wrong Y/N, trust me, I knew. From the moment the words left my mouth, I knew I made a mistake. But I didn’t know how to take it back. I was a coward, I was scared to face you after everything I put you through.” He pauses just for a moment, remembering to breathe. He reaches for your hand and you don’t pull away when he takes it in his. “I can’t lose you again, please, just consider it.”

“Jungkook, I – ” But you fall silent, unsure of what to say, your mind too much of a muddled mess to form a coherent response.

“I know it’s scary, Y/N, but you just have to trust me.”

“I… I don’t know if I can,” you barely manage to squeak and tears spill over at the sheer amount of emotions you’re feeling all at once.

“Then let’s not get back together,” Jungkook says, and his words feel like a quick jab to your heart. He brings a hand up to your cheek and rests his palm on the skin that’s flushed red. The pad of his thumb wipes away the tears and he lifts your face to meet your gaze. “Let’s start over.”

“From the very beginning?” you ask, your voice hardly audible.

“From the very beginning.”

“Okay.”

He smiles at you that heart stopping smile that has you automatically smiling shyly back.

His hand leaves your cheek and instead he stretches it out to you. “Hi, I’m Jungkook, it’s nice to meet you.”

Taking his hand, you can’t help but laugh at his quirkiness, already feeling the butterflies that have been tangled up in your tummy break free of their cocoons.

[sian265]

Legio autem Arcarius Legion of Archer Chapter 13

The party was in full swing, Magnus having made all his rounds and greeted all his guests, was now settled in with a drink and surrounded by his closest friends. Alec took this opportunity to make his rounds of his Legion and check in with the Shadowhunters on duty. He left Izzy and Clary in the group around Magnus and spoke with Jace first. Taking the stares down, Alec found the Shadowhunter pacing, glamored, near the front of the building.

 “Anything?” he asked.

 Jace stopped twirling his stele and moved to stand next to Alec. “No, nothing. I think everyone who is coming has arrived, the last guest was about a half hour ago.”

 Alec patted Jace on the shoulder. “Okay, stay sharp.” He ordered before turning back to the entrance. He waved a hand at Jace’s parting, “Always.”

 Entering the apartment, Alec caught Underhill’s eye and nodded his head for his second to join him. Once the other man stood next to him, Alec swept his eyes over the party-goers. “Anything from our archers?”

 Andrew also watched the colorful attired guests. “No, it’s quiet, too quiet if you ask me.”

 Alec frowned, taking in the mingling guest, he swept his gaze around the room. No one had raised any internal alarms and Magnus hadn’t felt anything off with any of his guests. He observed that windbag Rey as his female guest rejoined him. Lorenzo handed her a drink and nodded at something she said, both looking towards Magnus. He watched as Rey lead her over to the group Magnus stood in and they exchanged some words before Magnus held out a hand to the female. The pair then turned towards where Alec and Andrew stood. They moved to stand aside as the pair made for the front door.

 “Commander, it was a pleasure meeting you. However my companion is not feeling well so we are going to depart.” Rey handed off their drinks to a server and held out a now free hand to Alec.

 “I am sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon.” He shook the hand Rey offered and addressed the female Warlock, what was her name? Alec couldn’t recall, but she seemed timid and hadn’t said much earlier when they had been introduced.

 She must have seen that on Alec’s face because she replied with a hint of offense. “Shinyun Jung.”

 Alec bowed his head briefly in apology. “Of course, Ms. Jung, I do hope you feel better soon and it was a pleasure to meet you.” Alec might hate small talk, parties, and false platitudes, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t good at them. He got barely a curl of a lip in response before she and Rey departed. Shrugging his shoulders at Underhill, Alec went to rejoin Magnus.

 When he returned to Magnus’ side, Cat was telling a funny story about Peru and a monkey, that Magnus was trying to shush her over, but the guests around them were laughing so hard they were in tears. Magnus wore a pout which Alec thought was adorable.

 “Catarina I don’t know why I call you my friend.” Magnus scowled the nurse.

 Cat just raised a brow, daring Magnus to dispute her tale and when he only pouted more, she finally laughed and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Alec could honestly say the rest of the evening was bearable. Oh he didn’t let his guard down, but when he did mingle with Magnus by his side, he enjoyed himself.

 Alec was surprised how many introduced themselves and remarked that they had the pleasure of either seeing the Legion or had been on the end of their efforts. He got many a heartfelt thanks and Alec made mental note of each and every one. Very seldom did they get to stick around for thanks, or even to meet those who they had a hand in saving. He wanted to make sure and tell all his archers their stories and their thanks. It made what they did meaningful.

 By the time the party wound down, Alec was exhausted. Only friends and family remained, Cat ad Magnus spread out on the sofa, Izzy and Clary both in chairs with their shoes removed, and Jace sat at the foot of Clary’s chair rubbing his girlfriend’s tired feet. Izzy got a scowl when she stated that she was next for a foot rub. Alec stood by the balcony with Underhill, finishing up a briefing of the night, sharing their observations, and giving orders for the overnight shift. In the background were the sounds of the hired staff cleaning up and departing.

 Alec gave Andrew his final orders and moved along the back of the sofa where Magnus lay. He ran a hand gently through Magnus’ hair, messing up the carefully styled strands. When the other man looked up at him, Alec leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, earning himself a sleepy smile in return. “Hey, once the cleaning crew leaves can you reactivate your wards for me?”

 “Absolutely, darling.” Magnus replied, earning himself a bit of a flush along Alec’s high cheekbones.

 Once everyone except for the Legion had gone home, Magnus shut the door behind the last of the crew and with a flourish of his hands, reactivated his wards. Turning to Alec he offered a nightcap which Alec gladly accepted. They moved out onto the balcony with their drinks. The night sounds of the city and their own silence were strangely comforting. After a couple of minutes Magnus broke the quite. “Is it wrong that tonight felt anti-climatic?”

 Alec shook his head. “No not at all. They would have been fools to attack with all our security tonight.”

 Magnus observed Alec’s features for several seconds. “But you still have a feeling?” he asked.

 “I can’t explain it, but yea my thoughts have been uneasy all day.” Alec turned his body towards Magnus. “How’d you know?” At Magnus’ blank look, Alec elaborated. “That I felt uneasy all day, how’d you know?”

 Magnus smiled at first a little sadly. “Perhaps because I too have felt like we are playing their game?” Letting out a sigh and giving himself a small shake to banish the gloom, he gave Alec a little happier smile. “Or it could be that I am figuring you out, Commander Lightwood.”

 “And once you have me all figured out, what then?” Alec asked, turning serious and unsure.

 Magnus frowned. “What do you mean, Alexander?”

 Alec cleared his throat and ran a nervous hand through his hair. “I mean – uhm – what happens when all this is over and we are back in Idris, what happens with this-?“ he waved a hand, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. “What happens with us, Magnus?”

 Magnus’ smile was gentle. He often forgot with how confident Alec appeared that his Commander was a babe in the woods when it came to relationships. He watched him for years always keeping an eagle eye on any who approached the handsome archer. Oh Magnus was a stalker, well not much anyway. He could admit to himself and perhaps also now to Alec himself that he had been captivated with the Commander for a number of years, since the archer came of age. Reaching out, Magnus ran a soft finger across the flush that rode high across Alec’s cheeks. His voice when it came was almost filled with awe as he opened his heart completed for the first time in over a century.

 “I’ve watched you grow into this stunning, commanding man, standing in front of me. I’ve waited for the chance to show you what else this world offers beside duty. Oh Alexander, I haven’t even begun to court you and I hope to show you all that we can become, together.” Magnus watched Alec’s eyes carefully as he spoke, pouring his heart out and seeing the answer in those amazing hazel eyes before the archer even opened his mouth.

 The small pleased smile of Alec’s lips was precious and Magnus could not resist reaching up, a hand behind Alec’s head to draw him down into a deep passionate kiss. Finally, pulling away with a gasp of breath and a laugh, Alec’s now swollen lips stretched into a wide smile. “Well that’s good then, we’re on the same page.” Magnus could only laugh at the Commander’s usual way of expressing personal feelings.

 After the long night they all had, everyone except the Legion on duty slept in the next morning. Finally, dragging himself out of the bed, Alec stumbled into the living room . There he found Magnus sprawled out in a chair, wearing black silk pajama bottoms and a black silk robe. Speech deserted Alec for several moments as he stood there, mostly asleep, mouth hanging open. Magnus waved a hand in greeting and indicated the cup of coffee that awaited Alec on the table. He gratefully headed for that, spying his second sprawled out on the sofa also nursing the necessary brew. Alec squinted at the bright sunlight coming through the balcony doors, he’s slept late according the sun. It took half the cup drowned before he could clear his throat enough to speak.

 Alec moved back towards Magnus. “Morning,” he said, voice gruff and scratchy.

 Magnus looked like a big lazy cat as he replied, “Morning to you also, Alexander.”

 His eyes could not help but fall to the gaping robe as Magnus stretched, revealing several inches of honey-colored skin. Alec felt weird. He would swear that his head was swimming. He stumbled a little as he tried to move closer to where Magnus sat. He was having trouble focusing, Magnus’ image dancing around his eyes. Alec’s tongue felt swollen in his mouth as he tried to say, “M- Magnus.” He took another stumbling step forward. Alec didn’t notice the cup falling from his limp fingers, coffee staining the rug.

 His eyes unwilling became fixed as if in slow motion watching the cup slip from Magnus’ fingers also falling to the floor. Alec did not register the hard impact his knees made as he fell to the floor. He was sure he said Magnus once more. He began to crawl, fingers outreached, and trying desperately to reach Magnus. Alec’s cheek rested against something soft, and his fingers were clenched tightly it something cool and silky to the touch. He tightened his grip on the leg of Magnus’ pants. He blinked and all Alec could see was moving shapes, in white. It was everywhere, all around him, a sea of white.

 Something tugged at him harshly, pulling, trying to rip something away from him, something he did not want to let go of. Alec fought, he felt he was fighting, knew he would. Then it was ripped away and Alec felt pain, his fingers trying to curl, the harsh bite of pain making him moan. Then Alec knew only darkness.

 The shaking and voices were so loud. Alec groaned and tried to get away from them, but they wouldn’t leave him alone. The shaking of his body got more insistent and when he attempted to move away from it, Alec cried out in pain and automatically cradled his injured hand. It all came back in fast flashes of black and white, the black of Magnus’ clothes, and the white of the robes that carried him away from Alec. He shot up with a cry, MAGNUS!

 He looked around at the faces staring at him in shock and worry. Alec held his mangled hand tighter against his chest. Andrew moved into his line of sight and Alec searched his face, which bore the same paleness and anger that Alec’s own did. “Where is he?” Alec demanded.

 Underhill shook his head before answering, and Alec already knew what he was going to tell him. “He’s gone, Alec. They took him.”

  TBC���

[cafe-rfa]

Thank you darling!! aaa I know all too well how you feel T_T Please take courage! It can be really scary, but I hope you get comfortable with saying ‘no’ when you mean it!

I mostly went with “people pushing work onto MC” because that’s what I face the most, but I understand that avoiding confrontation happens in many other situations! Be sure to read under the cut for the rest of the characters!

Zen: 

Zen’s always been your number 1 fan, supporting you and your dreams! So when he sees you baking a mountain of cupcakes he smiles and is glad that you found a new hobby.

“What’s the occasion, babe?” He wraps an arm around your waist from behind. There really were so many... and you looked dead tired on your feet...

“Oh, they’re for my friend’s son’s 5th birthday party. She’s too busy to bake anything, so she asked me to help her out.” You smile, but it’s a weak, tired attempt.

“That’s very nice of you. You’re friends with the little boy?”

“I haven’t met him, no. She’ll come pick these up tomorrow, though, so at least I don’t have to deliver them!”

Zen frowns. “Wait, you’re not even going to the party?” Well, he understands that going to a toddler’s party might not be exactly what you want to do, but your friend should at least invite you over for food and a cup of coffee, if you’re baking her cupcakes for free.

You laugh, “No. Don’t worry, babe, this is nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” your boyfriend retorts, “You’re tired and she’s not even giving you anything in return. Here, I’ll help you with the cupcakes... but you shouldn’t let her walk all over you. Okay?”

You’re grateful for Zen’s help, but you can sense he’s a little angry - not at you, of course, but for you. As you two bake, he’s giving you exercises so that you can say ‘no’, until you’re both so tired that they spiral down to silly things instead.

When your friend comes over the next day to pick up the cupcakes, he answers the door and gives her a million dollar smile. “MC worked really hard on these, so I hope your boy likes them. It’s the next best thing to having his own mother bake them. Anyway, you can drop off the thank you card and wine tomorrow.”

The friend is flustered, and makes like a tree as soon as she can, but she doesn’t bother you as much anymore. And hopefully, you become more confident as well, cherishing your work and valuing your mental and physical health.

Yoosung:

Your friend keeps asking you for favours to help them finish their work. It’s hard to say no to a friend...

Yoosung completely understands... Though he may not have been in your exact position before, he hates group projects for this reason.

Usually one person does the majority of the work - that used to be him in high school, but in college he’s been leaching off of others. Neither position felt good.

You vent to him at home, frustrated at how much of your time is taken up by your friend’s demands. And yes, you agreed to help them, but that doesn’t mean you’re happy to do it... You just didn’t want to refuse.

Cuddling, he listens to every word you say, and tries to think of a way he can help you. Since he’s gone through the same sort of transition, maybe you could try imitating him...?

“MC,” he murmurs after a while, “Remember when Zen asked me to help him develop his character for a play? And I asked him to pay me...”

You snort as you think back to those couple of days. Their friendship always brought them to funny places. “Yeah, how could I forget?”

“You should try doing that! Asking for things in return, I mean. If you don’t want to do something, then don’t... But if you end up doing it, you shouldn’t do it for free. I promise it’ll make you feel better.”

“But they’re my friends, I can’t just ask them to pay me-”

“Why not? Friends help each other out, but they don’t abuse each other, either... Even Zen agreed to pay me, because he knew it was asking for a lot. If they’re really your friend, they’ll want to help you out in return, too.”

You sigh. “Yeah... you’re right. I’ll try that, maybe.” You weren’t sure if you were shameless enough to ask for something outright, but maybe it would make declining the request altogether easier.

Jaehee: 

You were supposed to get out of work early today, since you had some over-hours piled up, and you planned to use this time to cook a romantic dinner for you and your girlfriend later that day.

“MC, you can’t leave yet,” your boss told you - and when you explained you were cashing in your over-hours she shook her head, “We need you to start working on the project for next month. Come on.”

And so you caved. Not only did you not leave early... you left work late today again (adding to your over-time). You’ve been texting Jaehee throughout the day, so she knew you were coming home late.

Still, by the time you come back, you’re dead tired and practically crying from frustration at yourself because you didn’t have the guts to say no, and now your relaxing day with your girlfriend slipped through your fingers.

You open the door, and Jaehee, noticing how tired you look, embraces you. “I’m sorry,” you groan, “I can’t believe I got caught up late again...”

“I know, I know. It’s okay, MC.” Jaehee has been there - working for Jumin meant work cutting into her personal life on a daily basis. She understands how hard it can be to say no to your boss, and though she hates that you’re going through this, of course she doesn’t blame you.

She encourages you to vent, and you talk about everything on your mind as she combs her fingers through your hair, until you’ve calmed down a bit. When you’ve said everything but the feeling of frustration still hasn’t left, the both of you start name-calling your boss to let off some steam, until it gets so silly that you both start laughing.

“She’s such a potato-face.” “A used tissue.” “Smudge on the window.” “Melted ice cube-” “Smelly sock!” “Boiled eggshell!”

Jaehee pulls out her phone and books two tickets for that movie you’ve been wanting to see in the cinema for a while now, but you didn’t have time. 

“MC,” your girlfriend shows you the electronic tickets, “Tomorrow you’ll cash in your overtime hours, and if your boss says anything, you’ll show her this and say I have non-refundable tickets, I have to leave now. Okay?”

You smile and lean up to kiss her thank-you. “It’s a date.”

Jumin:

Jumin’s been trained to be diplomatic all his life tbh, so he knows exactly how to decline something politely and firmly. His self-confidence also makes people not question his decisions, so they don’t bug him (usually) after he tells them ‘no’ once.

It doesn’t even occur to him that you might not have the same skills, so he assumes you just enjoy helping people with absolutely everything! Which isn’t a bad thing, but your colleagues keep asking you to do more and more of their work, and it’s really starting to pile up...

When your boyfriend finds you buried in a pile of work one day, stressed to the point of crying, his heart breaks. “MC? What’s wrong?” He sits down next to you and takes your hand into his.

“Ugh, nothing. It’s just that I guess I bit off more than I can chew... I wish I hadn’t agreed to help my friends with so many things.” You tell Jumin everything that’s been pushed onto you and how close all the deadlines are, and though you’re a sobbing mess, he’s as collected as always.

“It’ll be okay, MC. We’ll work this out, I promise.” He comforts you for a moment, and when you’re feeling calmer he distributes your work between some of C&R’s employees RIP them so that everything can be finished on time. You protest at first, but that seems to be the only way to get everything done now...

“From now on, please don’t let people tell you what to do. You’re doing your work - you don’t have to do any more than that if you don’t want to. Not to this breaking point, okay?”

“But they’re my friends, I can’t say no if they need my h-”

“Yes, you can. I’ll tell them no if you’re hesitant. But don’t put your own wellbeing below their comfort.” Jumin states firmly and you nod, embracing him. You feel bad enough that Jumin’s employees had to clean up your mess, so you try your best not to get into this situation again.

He believes the best way to help you with this is to develop your self-confidence more so that you feel more comfortable declining requests. Jumin showers you in compliments, and practices asking you ridiculous things so that you can say ‘no’.

Saeyoung:

He’s upset when he finds out people are using you. You’re such a kind person, it’s awful to take advantage of that! Not to mention, you have enough on your plate as is, without your friends begging you to help them, too...

As long as he isn’t absolutely drowning in work, Saeyoung takes some of yours off of you. He insists he’s always wanted to write an essay about the ethical implications of toothpaste factories. Though you know that’s just an excuse so you don’t feel bad about him helping you out, it makes you laugh anyway.

Saeyoung does a decent job writing your friend’s essay, but it’s definitely not A+ material, considering his ridiculous examples and casual writing style.

He encourages you to do your friend’s work badly - “Then maybe they’ll stop asking you for stuff all the time!”

“Saeyoung! I can’t do that-”

“Why not?”

He shrugs. “Why should you do their work for them? It’s good to help your friends out, but if they keep using you for stuff without thanks, you should reconsider if they’re the types of friends you need around you.”

“Besides,” he adds, “It was their gamble to rely on you! They can’t very well complain about you to the teacher, or else everyone will know they didn’t do the work themselves.”

That’s definitely advice, though you feel a bit iffy about it anyway.

Saeyoung is willing to help you in whatever way he can, either like this or by hacking into the university server to move the deadline.

In the end, the best he can do is encourage you to look out for yourself more. “They don’t owe you anything. You don’t have to do what they say, okay?”

He insists on helping you practice saying ‘no’ - to his kisses! It’s silly and ends with a tickle fight, but he hopes it gives you more courage to stand your ground in the future.

Jihyun:

You were waiting in line to take an individual oral exam [for university/an outside course], and it was really disorganised... Everyone kept pushing in front of you, “I’m so tired!” “I just want to go home!” “I’m going in next!”

You didn’t have the guts to dispute anyone, even though you were also tired and wanted to go home, and you’ve been standing here for the better part of two hours.

You were one of the last people to take the exam, and so you left very late, it was already dark... You call Jihyun on your way home.

“MC! How was the exam?” your boyfriend asks.

“It was fine,” you sigh, “I’m just so tired... I was supposed to leave at least an hour ago, but it’s already so late... I’m sorry. It was such a mess and everyone kept butting in before me, ugh.”

“I’m sorry to hear that... But you’re almost home, right? I’ll give you a massage when you’re back. You can relax now, honey.”

Your mood doesn’t go from sour to good so quickly, since you were still exhausted, but you’re feeling significantly better after hearing Jihyun’s gentle voice over the phone. It’s even better when you come home to your boyfriend’s warm embrace.

Cuddling on the couch is one of the best ways to feel better. You vent your frustrations some more, and Jihyun listens to your every feeling, smoothing your hair in comfort as he does so.

He knows exactly where you’re coming from, he’s been victim to these sorts of thoughts as well. He avoids confrontation unless he absolutely has to speak up, but over the past two years he’s started looking out for himself some more. He wishes you could do the same...

“You don’t exist to make everyone’s life easier, MC,” Jihyun whispers, “You exist for yourself, and no one else. When you’re kind, it takes courage to set your foot down, I know. But I can’t stand seeing you used by others so much. Please... look out for yourself. And I’ll do whatever I can to help you, too. Okay? Please remember that... MC...”

Saeran:

After leaving Mint Eye and regaining free will, Saeran takes so much pleasure in saying ‘no’ to things - something he’s never been able to do before.

From things like “I don’t want to watch this movie” to “No, today I’m spending a day for myself only”, the freedom is so liberating. It was hard to get out of his habit of doing what people told him at the beginning, but he manages to break through that learned behaviour daily.

So Saeran understands where you’re coming from. But he also encourages you the most to take control of your life and to try saying ‘no’ - he knows himself how important that is (and how difficult).

“You’re free to do whatever you want,” Saeran encourages you in the same way you encouraged him when he was healing.

One day, you’re sitting on the couch, cuddling together and your phone dings, you sigh as you read the message from a colleague of yours who asks for help far too often - ‘MC, could you create the powerpoint for my meeting tomorrow?’

“What is it?” Saeran asks, and you angle the phone towards him so he can see the message. 

He frowns and snatches your phone from you. “Saeran!” You grab his arm to try and get it back, but pushes you back (gently!) and he holds your phone up and out of your reach as he types something.

 You hear the sound of the message being sent, and he returns you your phone. ‘I’m busy. I can’t help you.’ the message says. You feel anxiety swell up, you’d never wrote something like that! But it feels good, too… You really didn’t want to cut your day off short to do someone else’s work. 

“It’s not your problem. That’s not your work. Your friend should do this herself. Relax, MC…” Saeran comforts you, and then turns a little pouty, “Besides, you promised you’ll spend the entire day with me.” 

From then on, you try to imitate this message when people ask you to do something, but when it gets too much you can always sheepishly hand your phone to your boyfriend and he’ll send it for you.

[spacelyjake]

Week 11 - ID for different environments or groups

I really enjoyed the materials from this week. To be fair, I always find interesting and informative materials from week to week, but something else resonated this week. Maybe it just felt like something I'm actually familiar with and it wasn't all new terms, I'm not sure.

I'm a fan of formal learning. And I mean that, more than just an off the cuff comment. My day job is currently in a web development environment called Drupal. How do you learn Drupal? Informal learning: YouTube videos, Stack Overflow support questions, or shout out to some random blog, 'yo, how do I do this?'

I resent it. That strongly, too. I'm used to working in enterprise-level systems. Want to learn Microsoft Windows Server version xyz? Take a class. Want to learn SAP? Take a class? Ellucian products? Take a class. The courses might be pricey (SAP, Oracle, Ellucian) or very available on the open market (Microsoft). But they courses with instructors, going through hands-on exercises with instructors.

I prefer remote synchronous classes for this type of learning, even though I prefer traditional classroom classes for college learning. The travel to a corporate training facility, the sterile, uninspired interiors of those office buildings, just don't resonate as well. But live or live online is a really big deal for me. I like the interaction with the instructor and other students, and I like being part of a room full of people who are gathered together to learn.

So what's wrong with informal learning? Nothing, for some people, it just doesn't resonate for me. Should I inherently trust the source of the information? No. Is the information timely and up to date? Maybe. Do they have trendy music playing and sparkly unicorns flying through the backgrounds? Distractions and a waste of time that otherwise could have been spent developing a more robust answer :P Ooh, snarky answer!

But if I already have idea of what I'm going, and I just need a boost to fill in some blanks, then yes, informal learning is effective and (usually) readily accessible. How do you change the color of a flat icon to be used in a mobile app? I know Adobe Photoshop, but I never tried to do this exact thing, and surely someone has it 'documented' on the web. Watch a video, we're golden. Except we're not. The black icon is on a white background - in Photoshop, black is the absence of color, meaning I can't create a masking layer for it. Seriously? Now what. Another deep dive on the web - magic wand tool, select the black icon, invert the selection, make a masking layer on that, past it onto a new background, change its color, and.. learn to appreciate artists who are truly experts in Photoshop.

Also this week, we were looking at online classes and group environments. I am interested in the online concept because I would like to make a 10 week, online-only version of the web development class I have been teaching for the past 9 years. I feel that it could offer value for "non-traditional" students, or students who are looking for a curriculum-based credit course over the summer. But the class requires a group project, which is a can of worms, particularly in the online-only format. How would groups self-assemble and self-manage? Learning that there's a community-based subgenre of MOOCs called cMOOCs, that might have some information for me to dig into.

Also learning more about the group environment was helpful as well. Even as an adult (in age anyway), I still get stressed out working in groups. Or at least thinking about it, because I feel that I work well with others, and I'm a social person. I definitely get more motivated to deliver on my promises and to be timely, since someone else is relying on me. But I'm used to working with others, as I have been for my entire professional career, and even many jobs I had growing up (I've always worked - diner, hospital cafeteria, newspaper delivery, etc.)

But many people have not had these experiences. And age is not the only determining factor. So pull together performance anxiety, social anxiety, and the normal stress that goes with balancing a workload and learning new topics - and that *can be* a group project.

I've seen many good and bad examples of groups in my classes over the years. A few stand out to me - a group of four who became a group of 2, still delivered a beautiful and technically challenging website on time, even though they didn't need to do half of what they did. Another, based upon ramen - yes, ramen - where the group just clicked in a way that I wouldn't be surprised if they became lifelong friends. And the other version - three of four team members stopping me in the stairway while walking up to the classroom, afraid their other team member would see us, because he usurped and replaced their entire project 15 minutes before class with his own broken, poorly-designed alternative (he was a real peach).

So I tried to create more structure around the group projects, including more opportunities for feedback, so I can help to keep the projects moving forward. I still haven't determined how to deal with two aspects - differences in engagement, and differences in skill level. The groups always have 3-5 people in them, and I aim for four. Inevitably, with every single group, someone does more than everyone else, and someone does less. And people get bothered by it, since it's natural to want to be rewarded for our contributions, and in this case creativity as well.

Ultimately I need to learn more about the group settings and assessment in general, so I'll continue my pursuit of more knowledge, mostly formally, enjoying the journey along the way.

[space-unicorn-dot]

Let’s Play: Would You Buy Again? Star Stable Online Horses!

It’s been a while since I’ve posted about how my SSO adventures have been going, but there haven’t been a lot of huge developments, so I figured this would be a fun alternative! So, since I don’t have recording software (nor the motivation to obtain it and actually make videos), here’s my Tumblr post version of the popular SSO video style of meet all of my horses and... Well, this is actually a combination of a lot of things. I’ve watched (in my boredom at school between classes, wishing I could just be playing SSO instead) tons of SSO videos on YouTube about people introducing their current roster of horses, horses they regret buying, giving their horses personalities, etc.

Boredom is powerful, people. xD SO, without further ado, let’s meet my current roster and I’ll tell you a little bit more about my adventures with them! (Featuring looks at my all new character look + the new animations! I feel like this style is more matching with my own, minus the hair, of course, lol. I have dark hair, but I really love this hair style.)

Cocosurprise is currently the only pony in my stable of five; he is a Welsh Pony from South Hoof. He’s a cutie and I love him, but he’s... also a bit of a jerk. Because he loves running into things. For this reason alone, training him has been an absolute nightmare. And I can’t wait until I see the day when he’s level 15 and I’ll no longer have to worry about the poor thing running into fences during races.

Now, most people I hear talk about ponies kinda... really don’t like them because they’re slower than horses, and that’s perfectly valid. Sometimes, I do kinda loathe that it does take longer to complete my training route because... well, he can’t cover the ground as fast as my horses did. His precious little legs are short. Cut the guy a break! And, usually, people don’t seem to max these guys to level 15.

I will. For one, I like maxing out all of my horses. I like training. (For the love of Starshine, though, Coco, please stop running into things; that makes me hate it.) Secondly, he’s the only horse I currently own that isn’t maxed, therefore he’s the only horse that’s really worth running the races as quests with because I’d be wasting the gained XP otherwise on my other horses. He’s currently level 12 though, so not too much further to go!

Would I buy him again? Yes. Despite the immense frustration his training can bring into my life for a few minutes at a time, I would buy Coco again. I may even purchase another pony in the future; possibly another Welsh Pony. When I first bought Coco, I was between him and the gray, but I already had a gray horse and didn’t want too much repetition in my stable at the time as far as colors, which brings me to my next horse!

This beauty is Windriver, my Friesian Sport Horse! This model is the older model of the breed that shares its model with the Andalusians, but I’ve never minded it because I adore her color and her mane is super on point. I purchased her from Paddock Island when I was allowed to purchase some Star Coins during the Lifetime Member discount week (which was awesomely shortly after I had gotten my membership! So thank you, world, for actually timing something nice for me! xD) She was the last horse I maxed and I absolutely would buy her again. She’s an honest pleasure to ride. I really love how smooth this model seems to ride; I don’t know exactly what makes me feel that way, but she moves very smoothly to me. For a bit, I was under a sort of thinking that I wouldn’t really be the type to purchase another horse of the same breed just because I already had it, so why would I need another, but I think I could possibly purchase another Friesian Sport in the future. I avoided the black spotted blanket coloration of this breed when I first bought Windriver just because it seemed incredibly popular and I was feeling a little defiant of the popularity thing, but I do really like that color, so I may get it at some point. xD I may possibly purchase an Andalusian in the future, too, despite Windriver and that breed sharing the same model. If Windriver had a personality, I’d describe her as a very calm, loyal, eager to please, and athletic horse. I’ve enjoyed owning her immensely.

Now, I know what you’re going to say - “We don’t buy our starter horses!” No, we don’t, so I’m going to talk about if I would create him differently instead! This is my Jorvik Warmblood and Soul Steed, Emberblaze! Now, giggle all you want, but he is maxed out! I love my dear little Emberblaze, even if I went through a time where I was iffy about him. I would not change Emberblaze. With the current starter horse options, I wouldn’t recreate Emberblaze any other way. Now, I have talked about different, more unique customization in the past for Starter Horses, using models and features more akin to the unique features of Starshine, Meteor, Concorde, and Tin-Can in the past. If given options like that, I’d definitely be down for at least fiddling with them! I did like the idea of having a “change starter horse’s appearance” feature like we do with our player characters that was discussed in the comments of a YouTube video (though, sadly, I can’t remember exactly which one it was at the moment) I watched on Starter Horses and their appearances a tiny while back. Even if SSO doesn’t incorporate new customization options for these horses, that could be a nice way for people to adjust their Starter Horses to something they really like if they would like to change something they originally chose for their Starter Horse.

But, all of that discussion aside, I have gone onto SSO’s website and went through the character creation process again for a new character without actually registering a new account a few times just to play around with different horse coat combinations and, while I liked creating a chestnut model and maybe I would’ve liked if Emberblaze’s tail was a bit darker so he doesn’t look so monotone at times, I wouldn’t really change him with the current set-ups. As for Emberblaze’s personality, he would be a loyal horse, if a bit silly at times; he reminds me a lot of my dog. He’s a bit of a goofball and sometimes you do things that don’t always make each other the happiest possible, but you’ll always be there for each other. He’s ready to please and while his model kinda reminds me of a Scooby-esque sort of deal, I’d think of him as a brave horse, ready to leap in and save the day if my dear Astrid ever got herself in a real pinch. Those Dark Core goons may look a little intimidating and act all tough, but Emberblaze is always going to be at my side! He is typically my main questing horse now, especially for quests largely involving GED or Dark Core and the Keepers of Aideen, even if they are little side-ones and not a huge part of the main storyline.

He’s my Soul Steed, after all!

You know who this is: Spirit! I’ve pulled him out in the past few days to do some quests and some daily assist missions and I’m amused by how many people are still... idek, but one day I did it, I randomly got two new friends added to my list (I think both were newer players) and they kinda followed me around while I took pictures for the Bobcats around Moorland Stables and today I got added into a group about it, I think? Idk, people didn’t really say anything about it - which is kind of a peeve to me. When you randomly get added to a group and no one explains why. They don’t say hi, they don’t ask you questions, they just... Or when you want to help someone so you follow when they ask you to follow them, but they never... ask anything or clarify what they need? Like, if you’re just going to make me follow you around while you shop or show off your outfits to me, a random passerby, I’ve got better things to do, lol. I have quests and training; but I digress. xD I don’t think there’s much to explain about Spirit. He’s a Mustang and he comes maxed out when you purchase him. (Is this still an ongoing event? Idk, I think it is, but y’know, since I own him, I don’t get alerted about whether or not he’s within the vicinity when I’m riding around anymore.) Naturally, I’d definitely buy Spirit again. I love him. And I’ve really got nothing more to say about this, lol.

And last, but certainly not least is my Haflinger, Wintermint! I purchased her after raising her on the Star Stable Horses app and she was honestly one of my favorite horses for a time, if not THE favorite of my horses. I love the Haflinger’s mane and tail styles and I really love their coloration. She has been kind of difficult to get tack for that I really liked on her, but I found the setup you see on her in this picture today and I’m happy! I want to get her something blue for her mane and tail though at some point, so that’s all that’s missing now. For her personality, I would describe her as quick, intelligent, and always looking for a challenge. I would buy her again and I’ve even considered purchasing another Haflinger in the future from Valdale.

I also realized that I don’t believe I’ve ever shared what server I play on or what my character’s name is, but if you would like to add me, I play on the Wind Star server and my character’s name is Astrid Sparrowgrove! I basically accept all friend requests on the game and I wouldn’t mind chatting, though you’ll have to forgive me if I miss some messages or am slow to respond. I usually forget about the chat while I’m training and questing and typically keep it closed, but feel free to add me and chat if you’d like! I realize that I don’t have a riding club at the moment, but I’m okay with that, so I will ask for refrain on asking me to join any at this time. I’m mostly focusing on maxing Coco and working on my quests as I get them for now! And hopefully managing to save for the next seven weeks to purchase my next horse, lol. I’d like to purchase a North Swedish Horse. I had one briefly and I regret that I sold it so quickly in a little bought of frustration and they’re also the cheapest breed on my breeds Wish List, so it’ll be easiest to have a new horse to train while I continue to save for the others on my list, lol.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #218

"Slender on the Server, Real HG, Hunting Lessons”

[Ring Leader] - Master...

[Doc] Hits the lever and raises the dry path before cautiously peeping in- Splender?

[Splender] Is there as well as Slender.  The older being helping his brother to his bed.  Even with all the protections on the server there are the faintest of glitches around him.  Splender's front is covered in blood-

[Doc] Splender... Is he... hurt?

[Slender] - No, however he will need to bath.  It will be a few days before he starts to return to normal

[Doc] I'll help him if need be.

[Slender] - No, I will tend to my brother

[Doc] I understand. Is he still in a... volatile state?

[Ring Leader] - What should I do sir?

[Slender] - For now retrieve Masky, I'd rather he be by my side.  And no he is not.  Where is the nearest place large enough to bathe him?

[Doc] He has a tub. It's on the other side of the bedroom wall.

[Slender] - Very well- He leads his brother in that direction

[Doc] Paces around a little. And then remembers xe's carrying a bunch of lollipop and popsicle flowers from the other server. Xe copies them and makes a nice arrangement for Splender before putting them in a cauldron next to his bed-

[Slender] Steps back into the main part of the room with Splender's clothes in his arms, folding them neatly-

[Doc] Is typing softly and looks up- I can wash those if you want.

[Slender] - It would be appreciated

[Doc] Holds out hir arms for the clothes-

[Slender] Hands them over-

[Doc] Runs them through hir inventory to clean them and lays them flat on the bed to mends a few little rips.

[Ring Leader] Having left, returns with Masky-

[Doc] All done. - Fumbles a bit, trying to replicate what Slender did. Xe's not used to folding clothes.

[Slender] - Fold the arms of the suit in first

[Doc] Tries- Does he need to stay in bed?

[Slender] - He will probably do so of his own accord

[Doc] Will he want visitors? Or just to sleep?

[Slender] - He usually likes having others around

[Doc] Ah good. I told the others he was sick. I can feel TLOT pacing about half a chunk away.

[Slender] - I would simply warn those which are fully digital to be wary since my EMP field is stronger than his

-There's a bit of knocking on the wall and the doorway is suddenly full of flowers-

[Doc] I will.

[Ring Leader] Pokes her head out-

[Steve] Is completely obscured by the bundle of flowers he's carrying.

[TLOT] Is standing behind him with a huge fold of purple fabric.

[Ring Leader] - Oh hello you two!

[Alexsezia] Wait for me! - Comes huffing up with a box-

[Slender] - Ring Leader, what is it?

[Doc] The well-wishing committee

[Slender] - I don't know what they expect since Splender is currently in the tub...

[TLOT] Ah... well... we brought presents. We can wait.

[Alexsezia] guarding the top of the box- yep-

[Steve] Is hunting for a spot for the flowers.

[Slender] Sighs and returns to the tub to help his brother-

[Ring Leader] - I'm going to look for a towel

[Doc] There should be a trunk near the tub. - shrugs- I set up the house myself-

[Ring Leader] - Thank you- She heads back there as well

[TLOT] Settles down to wait.

[Steve] Doc, can I have a cauldron?

[Doc] Sure. - Makes a copy of the other one so he can put the bundle of flowers down-

- After a few moments Slender leads Splender back out.  Splender has a large towel around his waist and looks ready to cry-

[Splender] - Brother...

[Slender] - I'm right here

[TLOT] Mentally reaches out to him gently-

[Splender] Is clearly shaken and upset, keeping a hold on his brother's jacket-

[Doc] It's okay Splender. We're here for you.

[Splender] Sniffles as Slender seats him-

[Slender] Sits near his brother, close enough to touch him if needed-

[Steve] We brought you flowers...

[TLOT] Indicates the purple curl of fabric filling his lap - And a soft  blanket. It's good for when you feel sick.

[Splender] - Th...  Thank you...

[Alexsezia] Is hanging back- TLOT told me Slender's waves were dangerous... I've got something for you too though.

[Slender] - Brief closeness should be alright, I am restricting my waves as much as I can

[Alexsezia] Sneaks over and tips the box onto the bed, a bunch of kittens spill gently out and tumble all over the bed. They immediately begin romping, purring and mewing softly. - just some visitors.

[Splender] Gently touches the kittens- So tiny...

[Ring Leader] - Adorable!

[Alexsezia] Smiles - It's hard to be sad with kittens around.

[Splender] - Thank you

[Alexsezia] You're welcome. I'm glad you came back here to recuperate. I'll bring you some soup later too.

[TLOT] Holds up the purple blanket, it's plently large enough for Splender-

[Splender] - Thank you TLOT, that looks comfy...

[Doc] I'll bring you food as well. I just came back myself. Hence the mess- hir coat is still splattered with chocolate and pumpkin guts.

[Alexsezia] Were you playing in the mud?

[Doc] It's chocolate.

[TLOT] Eyebrow-

[Ring Leader] - From a pumpkin!

[Steve] Ummm....

[Doc] I'll just show you. Geeze. - pulls out another of the chocolate pumpkins and plunks it down. - It's edible. I gave one to Yaunfen, they kind of exploded it.

[Masky] Coughs and turns away from the group-

[Slender] - Take your pills if you need to Masky

[Masky] - I'll be fine Master

[Doc] The sickness? Masky... here, have another one. - Xe takes out one of the potions xe always carries. It's just a level 3 health with some fizz. -

[Masky] - But my bones are already healed...

[Doc] It's okay. It won't fix you, but it'll make you feel better for the moment. I always have plenty if needed.

[Masky] After another couple coughs he tries the potion- Thanks

[Doc] Here, I'll leave some for you guys- makes a trunk and starts stocking it-

[TLOT] Throw in a few of these too- Passes some coffee bottles.

[Alexsezia] Is a bit woozy. - I feel weird-

[Splender] Leans against his brother while the kittens romp around-

[Steve] Me too.

[Ring Leader] - Oh dear, perhaps it would be best for you to leave now?

[Slender] - It could be the sickness caused by our kind, there is two of us here right now

[Doc] You too should go. Just come back later. I think the kittens will be fine as is.

[Alexsezia] Okay. I'll be back around dusk.

[Steve] Be gentle with yourself Splender. I'll come and bring you breakfast.

[TLOT] Stays because he's okay for now.

[Splender] Nods at them as a goodbye before sliding down so he's more laying down then sitting-

[Doc] If you need to talk....

[Splender] - I know...  I'm just really tired now...

[Slender] - Sleep brother, I'll still be here

[Doc] Slender... I can make a bed for you too. Anything you need.

[Slender] - I will be fine, sleep is not necessarily a requirement for our kind

[Kittens] snuggling up with Splender-

[Doc] Narrows hir eyes- That's so familiar.... I think I'll just.... - xe slides over to the crafting table and moves a few things around on it before setting up a very large chair made of beds and woolblocks. - I'll just leave this here, if anyone... needs it.

[Slender] - It is appreciated

[Doc] Well we'll leave you be then. Come on TLOT.

[TLOT] Focuses on Slender- Just so you know. I am the native here. I can touch any mind with ease. If you need help;  just think of me and I'll be here in a flash.

[Slender] - I will keep that in mind

[TLOT] Walks with Doc all the way up into the garden before speaking- You can breathe now.

[Doc] Was it that obvious?

[TLOT] No, but I'm sure he can tell you're terrified of him.

[Doc] Eeeeehhhhh.

[TLOT] It's okay. It's understandable. Thank goodness the server is shored up for the emp he's letting off. I saw the little coding errors hovering around him. I'm rather suprised Deerheart didn't freak out the moment he came in.

[Doc] She seemed to take it in stride... and I do trust her. She's getting better and better at fixing things around here every day.

[TLOT] You should still go to her.

[Doc] I intend too. If only because I could really use a hug.

[TLOT] Grins- All you had to do was ask! - He picks up the doctor as easily as feather and squeezes them warmly, but not too hard-

[Doc] Lets out a little squeak as they contact his warm armor-

[TLOT] Puts them down again. - Nice to know I can still suprise you.

[Doc] Always. You're a better brine then I.

[TLOT] Waves a hand arily. - I've just had more practice. Now go find your mate.

[Doc] Scurries off-

[Steve] Slides up next to TLOT - We're in danger, aren't we?

[TLOT] Aren't we always? Brines live on the edge. You should be used to it by now.

[Steve] Wrings his hands-

[TLOT] Gathers his husband too him- Shhhh. I can feel his intention, for now he's here for his brother. And he cared enough to bring Splender back to a place he obviously loves to heal. He could have just as easily kept him at the manor. I think we're getting a reprieve this time because of Splender's reccomendation. - gives Steve a kiss- It just shows the value of making friends.

-There's a lot of talking in the chat, but it passes by the Slenderbeing both because of his focus on his brother and the fact that he's not logged in. The more timid denizens of the server set up a double-chest on the shore and its soon full of little presents and even a pile of signboards with nice notes written by the villagers and the human children they care for. Around noon a certain wonky-eyed Endermen tps directly into the house just long enough to deliver a box of multicolored Legos and vanish again in fear of the blank and suspicious stare of the fearsome creature that inspired his maker. -

[Slender] Watches the strange square sun pass through the sky as Splender eventually slips into a sleep, clutching at his brother's jacket.  As it get's closer to night he gently coaxes his brother's hands open and replaces his coat with his tendrils so he can move around.  He heads outside to gather what the villagers had left for Splender and brings it inside.  After some debate he begins organizing it in a way he thinks his brother may enjoy it, the signs at head height, flowers in and by all the windows, and food carefully placed in a mostly empty chest which Slender manages to find.  Glancing over at the bed Slender notices that the blanket which TLOT handed over has slipped off and he gently places it back on his brother.  Slender had been able to taste the traces of fear from the denizens throughout the day but had restrained himself from feeding.  He could feel the pokes at his mind from his other brothers, he knew they were worried about Splender as well and he sent them quick reassurances as he returned to his previous spot by Splender.  The younger slender being curled up closer to his brother, relinquishing the tendril and grabbing onto the fabric of the jacket once more.  With a sigh Slender simply takes off his jacket and loosens his tie, knowing he will be there for some time-

[Masky] He and Ring Leader are sitting over by the door quietly, Ring Leader had fallen asleep and is lightly snoring-

[Alexsezia] Appears on horseback around dusk and pokes Ring Leader before handing down several bowls of the thick chicken chowder TLOT taught her to make. The mobs are already coming out, so she's just making a delivery before gathering the tuckered out kittens and departing again. -Night falls and the mobs start wandering. The still darkness punctuated by the moans and clatters of prowling skeletons and zombies. A few native Endermen creep close enough to peek in the front window from the shore and leave behind a large gold block. As the moon reaches the apex of the sky there's some movement in the water behind the house, and something ponderous and dark slides over the railing and hides there for a few long moments, unable to see the other Slenderbeing, but sensing something amiss in the normally cheerful household. It hesitates, about to flee again-

[Basil] Cruises like a deadly submarine down the shore and gets a whiff of the smaller creature, it lingers within sight. Feeding on the stress of its now trapped quarry.

[Slender] - I feel you Basil, go away

[Zeke] Shifts back to his more human shape and pulls on his clothes. Hiding behind Splender's  deck chair.

-There's a crack of thunder and it starts to rain-

[Basil] Allows itself to sink to the bottom. Hoping to more passively continue its midnight snack

[Slender] - You may as well come inside child

[Zeke] Is standing in the doorway and cautiously ventures inside. partially he's worried about stepping on and being bitten by Pinwheel. He looks up and freezes - Slenderman... I'm sorry! I didn't know Splender had company!

[Slender] - As tempting as your fear is, there's no need for it. And it is alright child, my brother had simply had a... Stressful day

[Zeke] If you're here I would presume so.... What happened to him? -Zekes been stressed out and sleeping a lot and missed the chats -

[Slender] - He needed to feed, on human flesh that is

[Slender] Still sensing Basil- Basil, you are not fooling me

[Zeke] I was afraid of that. Poor Splender.

[Basil] Swims sullenly a little farther away.

[Slender] - I assure you, he will back to his normal self within a week or so

[Zeke] Oh... okay. I didn't mean to intrude. I just couldn't sleep and he and I talk at night sometimes. He's been really kind to me.

[Slender] - You are not intruding, and that certainly does sound like my brother

[Splender] Whimpers in his sleep a little-

[Slender] Rubs his brothers head- If you wish to speak to me, you may

[Zeke] Reaches out unconciously for Splender's hand- Can I, let him know I'm here at least? I won't wake him intentionally.

[Slender] - I doubt you could wake him, once asleep he's very unaware of his surroundings

[Zeke] Thank you. - He moves closer to the much larger being in the bed and reaches out a pale hand towards his. The inky black tattoos on his arm lift gently and he lays three small, soft tentacles in Splender's open hand. As he makes contact the designs on his arm form swirls and small sleepy clouds

[Slender] - Interesting...

[Splender] Gently closes his hand on the tendrils-

[Zeke] I'm here for you, my friend. Just as you've been here for me.

[Slender] - My brother can't seem go anywhere without trying to befriend everything

[Zeke] He's the first person I met who was anything... like me. I feel like he's almost family. My mom was a little hard on him, but she's just scared. I've been scared for a long time too. But I feel, safe here.

[Slender] - Yes this place for have that dirt off feel to it, probably why my brother was so attracted to it

[Zeke] Gives a nervous little laugh. - But even the Herobrine's can't say they got dropped off by an angel...

[Slender] - I know several angels, perhaps I know which one helped you

[Zeke] Is a bit nervous saying the name. - Xophiel?

[Splender] Releases Zeke's tendrils and grabs onto Slender's pants leg- [Slender] - I believe Azrael may have mentioned that one before...

[Zeke] Azrael? I... I think I know that name... but isn't he...?

[Slender] - Yes, the angel of death

[Zeke] Ah, okay. I've heard the Doctor mention them under that name. It's his name from the Koran. He's the Wiccan girls patron right? The one with the dead boyfriend?

[Slender] - Yes, have you met them?

[Zeke] Only by reputation. I can't even imagine what Arden would do if he could talk to them.... he'd likely make her boyfriend super uncomfortable with a thousand questions.

[Slender] - This friend of your is a curious type?

[Zeke] Blushes- He's a writer. He loves the unsual and unknown. He just wants proof... I think he doesn't understand how terrifying that is when some things are better... - he looks down sadly-  staying hidden.

[Slender] - I take it to mean he doesn't know about you then?

[Zeke] No... Just the designs. They're hard to hide.

[Slender] - Then you have a choice ahead of you

[Zeke] I can only follow my heart, there is no choice. And... if he refuses me... I'm afraid my mother will murder him...

[Slender] - And what about his? If you wait to long he will feel anger and betrayal, he will hate you

[Zeke] He likes me, at least as a friend. But I'm worried we're not compatible... physically...

[Slender] - You'd be surprised... Are you able to shift its shape?

[Slender] - If you can then you are comparable with most everything as my other brother has proven

[Zeke] looks down. - No... I can't change those organs. This is as accurate a human shape as I can manage. Perhaps those parts are too sensitive...

[Slender] - Well you could always try, entities such as ourselves have been known to mate with humans often, it doesn't always produce offspring however

[Zeke] Gets very purple around the cheeks - I don't want to make a kid with him! I mean... I just... dammit. He has this friend that's into all kinds of weird things. If I could only get his number or something I bet he could tell me if... If I... shouldn't ask.

[Slender] - And why do you think he'd have the answer?

[Zeke] Because they've been friends longer? And this guy has no filter. He's dating some kind of crazy dominatrix who does hybrid taxidermies.

[Slender] - Hybrid taxidermy?

[Zeke] Yeah... like mixing up body parts and stuff to make monsters.

[Slender] - I see... However, the way I see it is you are simply trying to postpone what is to come

[Zeke] Just looks away. -

[Slender] - You must realize, your time is vastly longer than his, soon he will be gone, as well your mother, but you will remain

[Zeke] You don't know that. I don't even know what I am.

[Slender] - But I do, there are very few creatures which have abilities like yours, and only one which has a similar energy

[Zeke] But... I grew to this maturity in only three years. I may have far less time then either of them.

[Slender] - Splender grew to this height in five of your human years, when there are so few of a type, we tend to grow fast for our own protection

[Zeke] His eyes shining with tears, his melodious voice like a chiming bell - Then I'll... convince them to stay here. Time is nothing here. Markus changed, it shouldn't be long now.

[Slender] - But will they be happy here? And what about when this game becomes obsolete? When nobody remembers it, when all of human society dies away and all they have accomplished decays?

[Zeke] And what will you do Slender? When all the humans finally kill the planet?

-There's a touch at the back of Slender's mind. He knows it vaguely from a nightmare of glass and fire. - Let him be. He is blinded by love.  But he also has a job to do. His heart will help him accomplish the task. -

[Slender] - I will continue to hunt them until they are gone. Then I will likely take my brothers and any remaining pastas in my career back to where we came from

-Outside there's a bit of commotion as the sun comes up fully and the last of the mobs catch fire and head to respawn until the night returns.-

-There's a light rap on the front door frame and Zeke withdraws his tentacles quickly so they're not seen. -

[Steve] Peeks his head in- I... I bought donuts.

[Slender] - I've placed the other food brought in that trunk over there- He motions with a tendril

[Steve] Oh... okay... He opens the trunk and piles a bunch of breakfast items in with everything else. - he fixes on Zeke- Zeke? Are you okay? Your mom is looking for you.

[Zeke] Then I should go- Wipes his eyes and rushes out

[Steve] Gives Slender a suspicious look-

[Slender] - I simply gave the child some things to think about

[Steve] looks displeased. - I can imagine.

[Slender] - Considering what he is, he should think of such things

[Steve] Snorts - Yeah. I know all about the things you taught Cp. You leave Zeke alone.

[Slender] - CP did not learn his behavior from me

[Steve] He learned from watching you. I know you think we're all just a bunch of kids who don't know anything. -a little bolder- But I'm onto you Mr. Slenderman. You're just... old and bitter.

[Slender] - You do realize my brother views you the same way, right?

[Steve] But he treats us like adults. I think you don't. I can read a face with no eyes. And I don't trust you.

[Slender] - Believe what you will,I speak the truth

[Steve] Has a loud though involving how sure his NOTCH likely was of his victory right before he was annihilated. - Nobody knows everything. - turns to leave

[Slender] - I did not claim to

[Lie] Is working one of her horses in the clear space in front of her house while CP sits on the roof watching-

[HG] -is coming up the path to lies house-

-The horse suddenly bucks and tries to pull away from Lie-

[Lie] - HG look out!

[HG] -runs out of the way-

[Lie] Works on calming the horse- Sorry about that, he's being stubborn about his training

[HG] it's ok I just wanted to come by

[Lie] Pulls the horse closer to her- did you need something?

[HG] i just wanted to know what happened to notch?

[Lie] - Which one?

[HG] the one that lives here

[Lie] - Well, I think he went out with Flux, why?  Did you want to talk with him?

[HG] no just why was he sick for so long?

[Lie] - Oh, that.  See, Notch came from the real world like me and he finally shifted over into being fully digital.  The whole time he was sick was his body shifting into becoming more digital then physical.  He had help though, a lot of us donated some blood and he's been developing some powers because of it I think

[CP] - He was also in a lot of pain

[HG] real world? what is that place like?

[Lie] - It's...  Like a much more complicated version of this game, with thousands of massive cities and so many things and biomes, each one is different and filled with different animals

[HG] it sounds interesting i would like to see this place

[CP] Sputters out a laugh- You what!?

[HG] i want to see this real world it seem interesting

[Lie] - Er...  Well, it's really loud in places, and busy

[HG] loud isn't so bad as long as no one is trying to kill you

[Lie] - There's a lot of things you won't be familiar with...

[CP] - Like cars, trains...  Basically a lot of things that can kill you

[HG] i still want to see this place i am sure every place has something that can it's a point if it will do it just because it doesn't like me

[Lie] - It's not a matter of it liking you or not, they are machines

[HG] oh does respawn work out in the real world and are there any notches that would want to kill me? oh are there plants in this real world?

[Lie] - There are a lot of plants, our Notch here was the Notch for out there, and if for some reason you do die out there you should respawn back here in the server

[HG] it sound like a place i would very much like to vist

[CP] - Well, I can arrange that, but Doc will probably get mad at me if I just take you out there without you letting them know yourself...

[HG] should i tell doc then?

[CP] - Yeah, if only so they don't yell at me.  They also like little trips out there as well

[HG] ok then i will go tell doc -races to the castle in a blurr-

[CP] - Little fucker is fast...

[Lie] - Oh no, we forgot to mention the pain...

[Deer] Is happily outside with Doc and Yaunfen, going to bath the baby dragon in the bay-

[HG] -Stops near them- hey doc

[Doc] Oh hi Hg! Better stay back a little unless you wanna get soaked. Yaunfen loves to splash.

[HG] -backs up a little- I came to tell you something

[Deer] Is coaxing Yaunfen into the water-

[Yaunfen] Leaps in, making as big of a splash as possible-

[Doc] told ya! - pulls out a small rubber duck and floats it on the water near them

[HG] -makes sure to avoid the splash with running-

[Doc] What brings you over Hg? Fancy a swim?

[HG] no cp told me he could take me to the real world but he told me to tell you first

[Doc] Wow, okay. If that's what you want. I guess it's always good to have allies that can exist out there.

[Yaunfen] - Mada!  Mada!

[HG] it sounds like and interesting place which is why I wanted to go

[Doc] it's okay with me. I've had my fill of it for the time being. I'm coming sweetie! You're free to come and go as you please.

[Yaunfen] Tries splashing Doc-

[HG] well I will be heading back so I can go bye

[Yaunfen] Grabs the duck and tosses it towards Doc-

[Doc] Gets splashed and shifts with a grin- be careful out there Hg! - the duck bounces off Doc's snout. - you rascal!

[HG] -runs back to lies house to look for cp-

[CP] Is still on the roof- You ready?

[HG] yes I am

[CP] Jumps down and takes a hold of HG- Let's go- He opens a portal and drags HG through before Lie can warn him about the pain.  When they exit out they're in a modest looking computer room- Looks like he cleaned up the room a bit...

[HG] -keels over in pain-

[Jeb] Hello?

[CP] - Hey fuck face, I've got a job for you

[Jeb] Moves into the doorway and freezes in fear- It's...it's you!

[CP] - Yeah yeah, I need you to watch over this idiot who decided he wanted to become physical

[Jeb] What? But I don't know what to do!

[CP] - Just keep him comfortable and make sure you keep the fever that will come along down.  Soft foods are best as well.  It will only be a couple of weeks

[Jeb] Couple of weeks?! What do I tell my wife?!?!

[CP] - Not my problem

[Jeb] But?! I can't!

[CP] - If you don't I will stab you and make certain your wife can never enjoy you again

[Jeb] Looks terrified. - Yes.. yes... sir.

[HG] -is hugging in watering pail while on the floor-

[CP] - Good, now I'm going home to my wife, have fun HG- He makes a new portal and goes back through

[Jeb] Waits until Cp is safely away before cursing him out-

[CP] Pops back onto the server-

[Lie] - CP...

[CP] - What?  He wanted to go out there

[Lie] - Where did you leave him?

[CP] - With Jeb

[Lie] - YOU WHAT!?

[Gk] Muffled laughter from behind the greenhouse-

[Ashe] Approaches with Willow and Oak- Uncle GG!

[Gk] Has a mouthful of the candy cane cat tails- whoops! - crunch crunch crunch- what is it Ashe?

[Ashe] - Mama said for us to come and stay with you for awhile!

[Gk] Huh? How come?

[Ashe] Shrugs- She said she had something to do and then flew off and I think she went past the castle

[willow] -starts playing with gk's tail-

[Gk] That's weird. - Switches his tail around for Willow. - and that gives me an idea... I'll teach you guys a skill you may need someday. Follow me.

[Ashe] - What is it!?

[oak] -tries to climb on to gk's back-

[GK] You'll see, but I think you'll have a lot of fun with it. - Heads into the trees, sniffing around.

[willow] -follows Gk's tail close-

[Ashe] Follows-

[oak] -is clinging to gk's side-

[Gk] Spots Steffan walking back from the village - There we go... perfect. Have a sniff. I bet you can smell individual critters. Can you pick out his human sweat from the other smells around here?

[Ashe] Starts sniffing- Yes?

[Gk] It's kinda musky, distinct from the trees and grass and whatnot.

[Ashe] - Yeah!

[Oak] -manages to get fully on gk's back now that he is still-

[Gk] Now you don't have camoflage on your side, so you'll have to be quiet. Stay low in the grass and try not to make a sound.

[Ashe] Hunkers down low, staying still as he watches Steffan-

[Steffan] Stops to punch some leaves and grab an apple, he's not paying attention.

[Ashe] Slowly creeps closer-

[Gk] Try to get as close as you can and then jump with your back legs and pounce his ass. If you can suprise a human you can certainly catch your own food. Extra points if he screams.

[Steffan] Perks a little, he's suddenly feeling uneasy.

[Ashe] Pauses his movement, seeing Steffan tense a little-

[Steffan] Takes a few cautious steps. But he's looking in the wrong direction.

[Ashe] Moves closer and does a little butt wiggle before leaping at Steffan-

[Steffan] Turns just in time to see the white dragon come flying at him out of the underbrush. He shrieks at the top of his lungs and goes down under Ashes paws- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

[Gk] Good job! - He's laughing fit to die

[Ashe] - I did it Uncle GG!

[Steffan] GG? Dammit Gk I peed my frigging pants! You asshole!

[Ashe] Trots back over to GK- Can we do it again?

[Steffan] Flips off GK, which only makes him laugh harder- Sure! Though lets try it with some chickens, something we can eat after. - Pats Ashe with a hoof- Let's go!

[Ashe] - Okay!

[doctordouzan-blog]

Tales From RP - Chapter I: The Gundam Regret

Welcome back to the tales of a really bored RPer who wrote a lengthy post about some commonly found RP terms and some basic pieces of advice. I’m still extremely bored out of mind with nothing to reply to, so I decided to take a trip down memory lane. And for the sheer hell of it, I’m going to drag you all along under the pretense of teaching you lessons that’ll help your RP experience.  Today’s lesson? Appreciate what you have. My roleplaying career started on Battle.net after my paternal aunt casually gave me my cousin’s Diablo disc. At first I played only by myself and avoided the online. But after my vacation was over and I was back home, my dad allowed me on the internet with the game. I called myself Cursed_Angel, and didn’t do much at first. Eventually, I found my way to the Town Square channel, which was a stomping ground for people bored out of their mind, and was often where multiverse RP happened.  (Definition time! Multiverse, at least back in those days, meant an RP that combined several different universes at once. So instead of roleplaying exclusively, say, Marvel, you also tossed in Card Captor Sakura, Gundam, Sailor Moon, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, etc. A Multiverse character is either: a; a character that exists in a multiverse RP, or b; a character who exists in several different universes at once. Example of the latter definition: My character Rin Anderson is a multiverse character. She’s a dimension hopper that is constantly trying to find her way home, and winds up in different universes, where she abides by the rules of that universe and explores it before gaining enough energy to leave again.  Multiverse RPs can be insanely complicated. Each universe has their own core rules, such as different rules on vampires and werewolves, magic vs science, telepathy allowed or not allowed, technology advanced vs Bronze Age equivalent, etc. Generally, if it is a Multiverse RP, it is assumed that the rules exist simultaneously and overlapping, and not at all. Confusing? Yeah, it’s basically a free-for-all. The definition of all of these could have changed by now, but that was, at the time, the definitoins of Multiverse and Multiverse Characters.) For whatever reason, my Battle.net server had a huge following of Gundam fans. We had clans as well, consisting of Gundam characters, mostly from Gundam Wing, and G Gundam. My little Cursed (Yes, her first name was Cursed) was an amnesiac little flower who flitted around with the Wolves, the Gundam Wing crew, the Shuffle Alliance, and even the Zoids pals. Eventually, she gained a Liger Zoid, and a Gundam that used a traditional cockpit as well as the G Gundam cockpit, based on whatever her needs were for fighting, and eventually even the Zero programming in the traditional cockpit. Looking back, I’m actually fairly proud of that achievement. Cursed never claimed to have those off the bat. Those were all gifts given to her by the other RPers. She gained the Zoid after repairing it with the tiny Zoid gang, and her Gundam was constructed for her by Duo Maxwell and Sai Sai Ci. She even ended up as a sixth member of the Shuffle Alliance, though I can’t for the life of me remember what she had. I want to say she was another Joker alongside Argo, and again, this was something the group decided on altogether. I was one of the few OCs to attain items like those without actually Mary Sueing/Godmoding and claiming I had them initially. They were items granted to her by the canon characters that she earned. If I could find a way to revive Cursed, I would. She is without a doubt one of my all time favorite characters, even though I cringe at how preteen Kayla RP’d, and what caused me to retire her.  I mostly interacted with.. I think it was Kyoji_Kashu_, Duo_Maxwell, HeeroYuy SaiSaiChi_, and Domon_Kashu- or something like that. All the hyphens and underscores that RPers could love. We had pretty much a full set of characters and even duplicates, but we were the core players. Domon and Cursed were stalwart allies who fought in several battles together. Duo and Cursed were inseparable and terrifying troublemakers that should have never been left to their own devices, ever. Sai and Cursed bonded as two youngsters, a sibling bond between the two, and it was Sai who installed the additional cockpit into the Cursed Gundam- yes, that’s what we called it- to allow her to use the latex-loving piloting style of G Gundam. Heero eventually grew to treat Cursed like a little sister, and was the one that installed Zero on Cursed during some epic RP plot that I wish I could recall, but I think it came after Cursed ended up piloting Wing Zero when him and Quatre couldn’t.  The character that I enjoyed RPing with the most, however, was Kyoji.  Cursed and Kyoji clashed several times, enemies to the bitter end, as she sought to protect Domon and Rain from him. The fights between the two were pretty epic and Cursed, being the novice, hardly ever won. As we progressed through the plot and we did all that crazy ‘Oh he’s not REALLY evil, it’s just the Gundam!’ bizniz, the two grew romantic. The two had a bond that was incredibly deep, considering how novice of RPers we were at the time. As I grew better at RPing and Cursed’s skills grew from combat- like a proper character, she learned, adapted, and trained hard to become better- I grew cocky.  I ended up betraying my character’s personality. Cursed was a soft-spoken girl, not unlike me myself. I was severely bullied growing up, and had little-to-no confidence. Cursed, meanwhile, was accepted in ways I could never be, and someone that I think in the end, I wanted to be like. I began to project my own insecurities onto her, and twisted the personality of my beloved character into something grotesque. She became arrogant, cocky, full of bravado, when before she was the girl that ran after Domon asking to train, or listened in rapt attention when Heero repaired his gundam.  It wasn’t until I made the biggest mistake of my time RPing on Battle.net that I realized the path I had gone down. Cursed was interacting with Kyoji, and while I never can remember how it got to this point, I clearly remember Cursed boldly saying that she was far too strong to need Kyoji, and he was holding her back, that she was beyond his skill level. She destroyed him, and took off without a care, an act completely out of character for her, driven by my own need to be the best. Even worse, was my cockiness went OOC. I basically told him I no longer needed him, that I could RP with whoever I wanted, and that he was beneath me. That was the first time that I realized that my words could have an impact on the person behind the screen. Kyoji and Domon were played by real-life brothers, and Kyoji stopped logging in on that account. We had multiple accounts that we logged in and out of. I had Rikku from FFX2, a custom named Katsume, and Cursed. (I think at one point I had a Sai Sai Ci as well, and even tried my hand at a Heero. I have files somewhere with my old usernames but I found the e-mails I used to send to my boyfriend asking him to log on when I wasn’t able to, so I didn’t lose them.)  I begged Domon to let him know that I didn’t mean it, that I was sorry. Kyoji logged in once and while we talked, it was clear that he wasn’t going to be coming back, that he was gone.  My favorite RP partner was gone, and I stopped logging in for some time. When I came back, our Wing clan, our Shuffle Alliance, was gone. Sometimes Duo or Sai would log back in, but they had all made new accounts and moved on.  It was never confirmed that I was the cause of it, but to this day, I still believe that my cockiness, my desire to be the best, my ego, broke up the group. When members started leaving, others left with them. We lost some of our most active members because I couldn’t control myself. I wasn’t happy with Cursed as a character, she had to be the absolute best. She had to be more, everything I could never be.  I had an amazing Multiverse RP where my character had achieved what very few OCs could. I had fun, I had friends, and I always had someone to RP with, or play a round of Diablo with. Hell, when I got Starcraft later, I always had someone to play games with.  If there is anything I want those who read this to understand, it’s to be happy with what you have. Be grateful for the partners you have, and remember that they’re people behind a screen. Remember that your words can have an impact, and that someone could become hurt by what you do or say. Don’t try to project your own insecurities, your personality, your ego onto your character. It never works out, and always makes a mess of things.  If you reach the point where you have a community that is full, a community of friends that respect and care for you, treasure that shit always, and don’t let it go. Be apart of it, be respectful, and remember that whatever you do or don’t do has consequences.  And Kyoji, if by some miracle you ever read this and remember Cursed_Angel from Battle.net, I don’t think I could ever apologize enough. I miss RPing with you, and someday, I hope I can find you again so that way, I can tell you how wrong I was to say such things. I was lucky to have you as a friend, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret what I did, or what I lost. Someday, I hope to bring back Cursed, maybe even in a Gundam setting, but I know it will never be as amazing as our crazy, zany plots in Town Square.  As always, feel free to ask if you have any questions regarding RP, or are just bored out of your mind. Next time we’ll be checking out one of the following stories. Got one you want to hear first? Send me an ask and tell me which one you want to hear, or Twit at me on the Tweeter. Otherwise, I’ll pick one at random.  -”Kuroda, Tsunade, and the Best Boyfriend Ever (Not.)” -”When Your Demon from Dragon Age is Ivy from Soul Calibur (Wiki Edition!)” -”All My Characters are Besties and Text All The Time!” -”*Giggle* *Laughs* *Snorts* *Giggles* *Chuckles* *Laughs softly* (…What am I Replying to?!)” -”I Got Out of Hell and Turned Super Saiyajin! (All By Myself!)” -"King Douchebag and the Pink Vanilla Sky” - Starring Fuma Kotaro!  -And many more!

[kaysta]

MMOs I have played throughout the years

This is gonna be a long one, so I’m gonna put a read more to not eat a whole dash board. It’s gonna show my age a little ^^;

MUDs: I didn’t actually play these myself, but I vaguely remember my parents typing white letters onto the black screen. One of them let you add more description as you entered a room as you got higher level. I believe my mom had green light in the shapes of trees and my dad had cold wind and skulls.

Ultima Online: I made a blonde named Sarah, based on one of my classmates. She chopped wood, cooked food, and was told not to leave town. I got curious and followed my parents into the forest to watch their raid, and got attacked. I was very upset when they ate my corpse. I don’t think I played again.

Everquest: ah my first 3D MMO. I had a woodelf which meant my starting area was in the trees, where safety railings did not exist. You learned quickly to walk instead of run, or else you would have to wander around under the city to find your corpse to get your equipment back. Skeletons that were dead looked the same as when they were alive, so sometimes a pile of bones would jump up and start attacking you. I got as far as a keep that led to the desert, and boats that took a long time to get you places.

Anarchy Online: The rare SciFi MMO, but I unfortunately played during the beta. Starter quests could not complete and many other bugs prevented me from enjoying it. The idea of implants instead of armor was pretty freaking cool though. I heard it did pretty well once the bugs were ironed out.

Dark Age of Camelot: I technically played this, but all I remember is auto following in massive clumps where you couldn’t see your character (no collision detection lol) in order to fight at keeps. I think I mostly watched my parents play this one.

Rune Scape: How do I bury bones? TEACH ME YOUR DAMN GAME. Got bored in the first hour.

Adventure Quest: A browser/flash game that was pretty cool. I think I got decently far before I forgot about it. Animation was basic flash but the art was good.

Eve Online: I tried this recently and just.... it’s not fun. I was trying to do the basic missions and figure out what skills I should train eventually and like... I don’t like video game homework. And this is straight up a second job.

Horizons/Istaria: Vaguely recall requiring people to move around so that resources in an area could recover from depletion. Being able to play as a dragon is pretty cool. Looking it up, I’m surprised both that it is alive and that it changed game titles.

Maple Story: I played this with my brother and it was pretty fun. Many killing of slimes. Don’t even remember what class I played.

Star Wars Galaxies: All I remember is dancing in the Cantina, I don’t know if I did much else. My mom did not like the crafting system and the lack of ability to label same shaped storage crates.

Toontown Online: My brother played this far more than I did, but I had fun when I did play it. Don’t remember what the name of my yellow cat was. The revival (fanmade) server is doing pretty well, last I heard.

City of Heroes: <3 My favorite MMO, I was there when City of Villains was an UPCOMING release. Played both my main hero and main villain to approximately the same level. I would probably pay a good $40-60 to play with that character creator again, especially if powers were included. The villain became my default D&D character, and the hero became a wanderer in my never-finished Kingdom Hearts fan comic.

World of Warcraft: Probably the most amusing rogue I played, and actually got to feel useful in dungeons (assuming I remember correctly). The last quest I remember was titled “Snakes on the Plain”.

Club Penguin: Briefly wandered around, danced a bit.

Roblox: I vaguely remember being in a difficult to control fighting match with my brother. I think one of the people from the community is still on my Steam friends list?

Lord of the Rings Online: Very beautiful, but somehow failed to capture my interest. My sister had great fun fishing and wandering around the Shire.

Age of Conan: My mom knew whenever I got a critical because my cackle could be heard from across the room. Was very satisfying to playing the beginning 20 levels a few times, but never bothered leaving the first city.

Aion: Two races of winged flying people fighting against each other for holes in the sky. As a female you either were “good” (wore high heels) or “evil” (had clawed feet that JUST HAPPENDED to be like high heels). My mom theorized that everyone was actually only three inches tall, which is why we had leaves for umbrellas and could, ya know, fly.

Wizard 101: A simple but polished game, with a sense of incoming paywall surrounding it. Didn’t get very far, but it was a decent concept and execution.

Rift: Play as the magic jerks or the machine nerds, each blaming the other for causing the end of the world. I really enjoyed that rifts open up and everyone runs in together, fights a good fight, then go back to whatever they were doing. I still fire this up once in a great while.

Star Wars KOTR: Had a good story, just like the original single player games. It forgot to expand the walkable area, however, in it’s transition to MMO. You always rode an object to the next location, with no option to just hoof it and explore. With a strict Lightside/Darkside, sometimes you got lightside points for just.. being efficient. No Mr. Evil Science, putting different brains in the creatures is not helping our cause of domination you are just wasting money. I am going to report you so we can get a competent scientist instead. *lightside points granted*

TERA: I played this briefly with a housemate in college, but she and her boyfriend wouldn’t stop to read what the quests were saying. May have been more fun with different people.

Guild Wars 2: Currently trying to play this one again, haven’t played since it was first released so I have a lot to catch up on. I always enjoy their stories and active encouragement of exploration. Getting enough points to unlock the new toy (a glider) was a bit of a chore, but not enough to stop my enjoyment so far.

The Secret World: Started playing this with my group of friends, definitely enjoyed the atmosphere and themes. Keep thinking I should play it again, but I never seem to get around to it.

Archeage: I locked onto this game in an obsessive way after college, since it was great at making me feel useful. I love fishing, jumping onto other ships to invade them, and building houses. Over time it has become more focused on gear comparing, since it is PvP only servers. Everyone took the politics of not killing each other (mostly discussed in voice chat) very seriously. I’ve never enjoyed the homework involved in PvP builds or top level gear, so I saved it to be the very last thing I tried. The random chance for upgrading gear, and massive decline in player population, really lowered my interest in logging in.

Elder Scrolls Online: This had a worse time than Star Wars KOTR transitioning into an MMO. While the world is technically more open, it still follows the MMO logic of “things that direction will kill you until level XX”. The main thing that hurt it, for me, was that I was playing with my boyfriend. If you are on the same quest with someone and go ahead a step, or make a different choice, you can no longer help them fight because the monsters DO NOT EXIST on your screen.

Revelation Online: Tried to make my usual sexy thief (City of Villains character) and was thrown off by how GIRLY the female Blademaster is. I’m talking cute swinging of arms, softly cheering up people, and RIDING A HORSE SIDE SADDLE. I want to be the strong independent woman stereotype, not the polite flower stereotype. In general, I was surprised that your height was restricted by your class but happy with overall character customization. My mom gave up on this one because it was even more pay to win than she expected.