#mostly because it can be about so many different things

[bunnyboy-juice]

my lovely mutuals and followers and circle of dykes. i am BEGGING YOU to stop reblogging that "NSAIDS while on spiro damages your liver" post. there have been MANY additions in the comments expanding on the risk factors of mixing these medications (and i HIGHLY recommend looking in the comments. @/boringkate assesses the risk beautifully in there, and many others are in the reblogs expanding on the interactions and risks as well). all those aside - the major risk of mixing NSAIDs and any diuretic (not limited to, but including ibuprofen snd spiro) is RENAL (KIDNEY) PROBLEMS!!! NOT LIVER!!! and the most frequent version ive seen to that post does Not do a good enough job clarifying that "renal function" is related to your kidneys, not your liver. there are some effects that will happen on the liver eventually of course, but the premise of the interactions is wrong in and of itself and this kind of misinformation is kind of dangerous to just take at face value/without curiousity

i encourage you to read the actual drugs.com summary on the interactions between NSAIDs and spiro that keeps being referenced in that post (more on this under the cut). it is a moderate interaction manageable with increased hydration (your kidneys love water!) and, if you're taking spiro under the supervision of a doctor, monitoring of your renal function via blood tests. and i understand feeling betrayed learning there are potential interactions between all NSAIDs and diuretics because these risks are often not clearly communicated by doctors themselves, but in the pharmacy and usually in that packet that comes with your meds that most people are more likely to toss than read - but please do not make sudden rapid changes to your healthcare plans or work yourself into a panic on ever taking a pain med ever again based on that post and PLEASE fact check things you read on the internet before spreading it as Health Facts, even if its just looking up what different words mean to understand more of what you're reading. i also really do encourage y'all to read on how kidneys work and this is a really nice overview

the risk of kidney problems mostly occurs if you are (1) taking regular doses of both medications (2) NOT drinking enough fluids (3) not communicating with your doctor about all the medications you are taking. if you are taking spiro as a treatment provided by a doctor and are worried about kidney problems after that post, by all means talk to them and ask about getting a blood test to check your kidneys function/health!! im not discouraging this!! your doctor likely isnt bringing this up in the first place though because (in my cursory glance over the sources) many of these studies cited even in the drugs.com article "specific" to ibuprofen and spiro are about a variety of diuretics interactions with a variety of NSAIDs. the ones that arent paywalled are also either acute case studies about elderly patients on diuretics (so who Already have kidney problems/elimination issues) who developed heart issues after diuretics treatement or observational studies specifically on men in good health ages 20-38 to specifically look at drug interactions in the body. in the more acute cases, with proper management/alternative medications almost every single case was reversible and resolvable. many of these medications in these papers also are ones I have not heard of or taken, so i did look up every single drug i didnt recognize by name references to confirm my initial assumption that the reason this is labeled a Moderate instead of low risk interaction is because All NSAIDS and diuretics have potential interactions (confirmed also that the major effect is that NSAIDS have the potential to reduce the efficacy of diuretics, which leads to fluid and salt retention, which can lead to other issues - namely heart issues in the most extreme cases) with variable effects based on specific combination of the drugs used, the patients specific health, and the dosage (not just the size of dose, but the timing as well).

as an aside: if you habitually are taking frequent (read: daily/scheduled, not a one off for a headache or other body pains) doses of OTC NSAIDs, Regardless of taking diuretics, you NEED to tell your doctor because even though its available over the counter (at least in the US) it is still a major medication in your life/relevant to your physiochemistry!! OTC medications are often overlooked by doctors and people alike because they are seen as ubiquitous and to many doctors OTC pain meds, like NSAIDS, are assumed be used in acute pain situations where the dosage is minimal/infrequent enough it will likely have little to no long term effect with other medications.

[xhda1449x]

okay so I have Opinions TM about this because. well. am asexual. know asexual people. Been Like That before.

I had a friend. She's not my friend anymore. One of the reasons why is that she was a very sex negative asexual. Not repulsed, negative. Sex negative means Against It As A Concept. Repulsed means "ew, I really don't want to hear about any of it and I'm kinda disgusted by the way sexual attraction seems to run the world but yknow, that's me, y'all do you", right. It's a different thing. Some aces don't understand that.

I've known aces who think it's the identity for sex negativity. Aces who are attracted to people in an allo way (!!!) but think sex is gross. The friend I had was like that. Afaik she just... hated men so much she decided that wanting sex with women As A Guy is disgusting behavior so all sex is like that. Because she'd only use the "sex repulsed" card when interacting with guys. Because she was a lesbian and identified as such. Now yeah there are ace lesbians. I've also known a few of those. But that's not the point, the point is that so many people who don't want to have conventional PiV sex find the ace label and think it's for them.

Now uhhh my personal experience with the sex negativity excused as being sex repulsed mindset. So I have ocd. something most people around me know about. Over the years of Me Having It (so like... since I was 8 ig) it manifested in different ways. One of the most annoying intrusive thoughts I'd dealt with was just... my friends, my family members, in sexual situations. Not with me, just kinda... abstract, I guess, but one time I had a wholeass flashback because my friend told me he did indeed sleep with his girlfriend regularly so that's something. It's not really fun, imagining your two platonic-and-nothing-else friends Having Sex In Your Head and not being able to stop it. Also yeahhh the trauma def played a role too. Like, that's most likely what triggered me to Have OCD in the first place, and it took me a long time to get over that (mostly because I couldn't really tell anyone about it. I'm not gonna get into details but let's just say people don't really like to think that a young girl could hurt someone like that).

So now I'm in a relationship. First I've ever had. And I had to deal with Everything by being thrown head first into it. The first year was Hard, with another aspect of the ocd (it's always the ocd) being that I'd question my identity a lot. Sure I was dating someone but I was still ace because I didn't want to have sex with them right? Sure I don't mind the thought but I'm still ace because I wouldn't do it irl? SURE I CAN IMAGINE MYSELF DOING IT IRL BUT I'M STILL ACE, RIGHT, ACES CAN HAVE SEX?????? on top of dealing with Gender Questioning, too. Fun times!!!

But uh. yeah. turns out that I needed some help processing the trauma and now I'm like... the kink-cyclopedia for my friends or something. Like the person in the tags said, it's mostly theoretical. And funny thing is I've Been Like This even when I was a teenager!!! But I both pushed it down because That's Not How Aces Are and overplayed it because I wanted my friends to like me and at the time it seemed as if their only interest was Talking About Sex (idk, teenagers can be like that sometimes, or it can feel that way if you don't relate).

Anyway, yeah. For anyone who's like this (thinking ace is the label for sexual trauma survivors; thinking you're ace because you don't want sex; thinking being ace means being above sexual desires and that somehow making you better than everyone else), I've been there. And it was miserable. I'm still ace, because guess what, I'm still not sexually attracted to anyone besides maybe my partner and even then I'm not sure. But like... the reason why puritans are miserable isn't just because they're all horny and repressed. Building your whole identity on top of Hating Something will always make you miserable. Try to avoid that if you can.

I am both.

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

how do you find public spaces to fuck (re:the rooftop + dyke)?

sincerely, horny lez

Good question, I will answer it in this response eventually, but first, you have to sit through me intellectually jerking myself off for a moment because I think it may provide some useful perspective.

Public sex has been part of my life for as long as I've been having physical sex at all. As an adolescent it was mostly out of necessity, but these days it's mostly out of convenience. The vast majority of the sex I've had in the last year or two has been public.

I think it's important to clarify that for me at least, public sex is not an act of exhibitionism. If there's any sort of philosophy behind it besides sheer utility, I'd say it's something like not allowing our society's mores and hangups around sex and privacy dictate the terms on how and where we (especially as gay people) engage with our sexuality.

I think there's this gut impulse many people have--including many gay people--around public sex, and I think it speaks to the reactionary view of human sexuality that is unfortunately the stock standard in these times. For many, the idea of people having sex in public gives them some sort of 'ick' that they can't seem to articulate.

Often discussions around public sex are framed like this: "if I walked in on people having sex, it would make me uncomfortable, I didn't consent to that, so people should not be having sex in public." It would be fairly reasonable to experience discomfort in this imagined scenario--in fact, I think most people probably would--and that discomfort isn't a problem. The problem is that the premise assumes a few crucial points, notably that 1. Walking in on public sex is a common occurrence and/or the desired outcome for those engaging in it 2. Discomfort is a form of harm 3. Exposure to (non-hegemonic) human sexuality is capable of causing some kind of nebulous psychic damage to the witness.

To the first point: in my decade or so of regular public sex, I can only think of one instance where I was actually walked in on. It was an alley off of a major road and probably only at around 1030p. I mention this because we absolutely would have chosen a different, more secluded location/time if we were doing anything other than fully clothed kink and maybe some kissing, because again, the goal for most is not exhibitionism; no one really wants to be walked in on, so we choose locations where it is less likely that we will be.

To the second point, I have little to say besides that it simply isn't. Discomfort is an everyday part of life and is something all people experience regularly without calls to stop every potential source of it. So what is it about this topic that makes people react this way?

This leads us to the third point: non-hegemonic modes of sexuality are treated as degenerative and caustic and therefore must be hidden (or eradicated) entirely from the public sphere. It is the classic double standard; think of things like the "Don't Say Gay" or "DADT" laws or more broadly the attempt to remove even the mention of the existence of gays from curriculum. Most of the people who fight for such measures likely don't take the same issue or action with a 48 foot billboard for the local strip club or with a heterosexual couple kissing on screen.

And while the spot that people place the line may differ greatly, this ire against public sex still draws from the same well of reaction against perceived degeneracy that the fascist draws from. If this is not self evidently a negative thing to you, I have little I can say to convince you.

Some may be thinking 'okay, even if it is not harmful or degenerate, why do public sex?' To me, it is just as strange that so many keep their sex lives confined to the home and I could posit the same question. Neither way of doing things is any more natural or unnatural than the other, one is just the societal default. If it would bring you joy, why not engage in public sex?

The world is large, and if you know where to look, there are countless spaces you can carve out and stake the pervert's claim to. Alleyways, parks, bathrooms, rooftops, and beaches are the first to come to mind for me. To answer your question directly, you find them by making them and taking them.

Time is a large factor here as well. A given spot in a park at 9p may not be suitable, but might be more so by 11p, and even more so by 1a. My experience is that the later it gets, more spots become viable with less heavy precautions.

Another factor is coverage. An open field is riskier than behind a tree. The middle of an alley is riskier than behind a dumpster. You want to limit the amount of vectors through which you could be exposing yourself. I value coverage from sight lines over seclusion.

Something else you want to think about is whether or not you are on private property. If you are, it's possible that there are security personnel sitting in a car somewhere nearby or a resident who notices you. At that point, the issue is not even the sex, it's the fact you're there at all.

Finally, you always have to be ready to dip. Be aware of your surroundings as best you can, listen for cars and people, don't get too caught up in the moment that you're blinded. You gotta be ready to pull your pants up and walk quickly away. I'd rather be safe than sorry. If something's not right, get outta there. If you can't, well, don't have your dick out at least.

Anyway, all that to say go out and have fun. Good luck and enjoy yourself. The world has room for you to fit yourself into.

[uyuforu]

❀。 • *₊°。 ❀° 。 • *₊°。 ❀°。 ༻ Astro Observations XI ༺ ❀。 • *₊°。 ❀° 。 • *₊°。 ❀°。

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ Union Asteroid in Natal Chart

જ⁀➴ Groom/ Briede/ Juno Aspects in Natal Chart

જ⁀➴ Astro Observations X

❀。 • *₊°。 ❀° 。 • *₊°。 ❀°。❀。 • *₊°。 ❀° 。 • *₊°。 ❀°。❀。 • *₊°。 ❀° 。 • *₊°。 ❀°。❀。 • *₊°。 ❀° 。 • *₊°。 ❀°。❀。 • *₊°。 ❀° 。 • *₊°。

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⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ Natal Chart

❀ I read somewhere that Aries Rising often ignore people, even the closest people. My sister does that often, and she is also Aries Rising. ❀

❀ Also, the Rising sign and degree can say often how you look, your appearance but don't forget planets and other placements in your 1H! ❀

❀ Moreover, the Ruler of your Rising can also tell a lot about your appearance, meaning the sign and house placements of your Ruler. ❀

❀ I also noticed that whenever the Sun or Venus was transiting my 1H I was changing something on my appearance. It can also just be me adopting a new way to do my hair or my make up, etc. ❀

❀ Having Aries Descendant is a sign you'll have a spouse who will make you realize you are too nice, you are too generous with others, and they will teach you it's okay to tell people to go f*ck themselves. ❀

❀ Men who have Virgo Rising are the finest in my opinion, perhaps because I'm Virgo Venus but girl they are just so neat and take care of themselves so much, it's so refreshing. ❀

❀ Moreover, Virgo Rising men often age like fine wine. Their hot era is never ending. Just take Benjamin Bratt as an example. ❀

❀ If Pluto transiting your Natal Chart will give you clarity over which house it transits, and it will also be a huge transformation in it. I have it in my 4H, and I can tell you I see my family differently and learn a lot of hidden things. It hits like a b*tch. ❀

❀ Can we stop generalizing MC signs ? Cancer MC doesn't mean necessarily the person will do a job related to taking care of others. The sign over your MC is often a way to describe your needs in a career, but the planets in the 10h and the sign it is in matters, AND the ruler of the 10H as well. ❀

❀ Saturn conjunct Juno often means you'll marry your destined person later in life, and you could also meet later in life as well. ❀

❀ Juno conjunct Chiron is a sign your FS is wounded, in depression, or that they will need to heal to be with you. Being with your Future Spouse could also require a lot of sacrifices. ❀

❀ 4H Ruler in 7H people could often depend on their partner emotionally. They can also be the kind of person to want to only settle down with a partner. ❀

❀ Saturn 7H can have the same effect as Venus conjunct Saturn , you could have a delay in your love life, or find yourself having many lessons about it. You could have to live some failed relationships or romantic interactions in your early life, yet perhaps around your Saturn Return, you could have a better and long lasting love life. ❀

❀ Jupiter conjunct Saturn 7H could mean a delay in your marriage, perhaps marrying close to your 30's, but it could also mean after being married, your life will be very good, and you'll gain a lot because of marriage, and perhaps a lot of knowledge and wisdom as well. ❀

❀ I feel like even if you try hard, you'll never really know someone with Sun 8H/12H. They are quite good at showing exactly what they want you to see. ❀

⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ Synastry

❀ Rising conjunct Venus often means Venus person will think Rising person is their ideal type. ❀

❀ I often found that when it's not a romantic connection, Sun in 7H Synastry is not a good relationship, yet often a toxic one. Sun person can tend to hate 7H person. ❀

❀ I feel like 2H, 6H & 10H are really underrated houses in Synastry. I think it's really good to have those houses, mostly if big 3 are there. ❀

❀ Sun conjunct Venus often makes the Sun person think Venus person is very attractive. They could also find Venus very charming and their type. ❀

❀ I often saw Juno 1H Synastry when there was love at first sight between two people. Often Juno person having love at first sight for 1H person. ❀

❀ Venus/ Juno/ Jupiter is very beneficial for "finding the house person good looking", and often if you have those planets in someone's 1H or conjunct their Rising, they will be your type. ❀

❀ Every time I had a friend who wanted to befriend me and who was also someone I got along with so much, they have a Stellium in my 11H. ❀

❀ Sun 12H Synastry can possibly make the 12H person forget about you often. ❀

❀ In some relationships, Venus in the 12H can say that 12H person doesn't feel the love Venus person try to give them, and could also feel unloved. ❀

❀ Moon conjunct Saturn can also be that Moon person feel totally misunderstood by Saturn person, or they could feel judged often by Saturn person. ❀

❀ Mars 3H can mean Mars person can often know the right words to hurt 3H person, they can speak to them in a harsh way as well. ❀

❀ Sometimes 12H placements aren't that bad, so take it with a grain of salt. For example, my mother has a Stellium in my 12H, and we are very connected. ❀

❀ Sun conjunct Jupiter often makes the two natives adore each other, they often get along very well, laugh together but also they often share the same opinion. Jupiter person often teach a lot of valuable lessons to Sun person. ❀

❀ Chiron conjunct Moon often means Chiron person will hurt Moon's feelings. I have this aspect with my uncle, he often is harsh with his words. I was scared of him when I was little. ❀

❀ Sun 8H can mean 8H person can feel like Sun person doesn't like them. ❀

❀ Moon 12H in Synastry can often tell us that Moon person will struggle to say to 12H person how they feel, or often share personal things about them. Though, it can also be a sign of deep spiritual connection. ❀

Thank you for reading!

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[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

what is The Goddamn Door?

i worked in store that shall not be named, but rest assured it was understaffed enough that leaving the register was a struggle every time. there were two bathrooms - to the right of entrance there was a hall, and on the left was the customers' bathroom, the right the employees. both of them are clearly labelled so.

both of these bathrooms were locked, with keys that attached to a pair of spatulas to tell them apart, because they weren't interchangeable. if a customer wanted to use the bathroom, they had to ask me for the spatula.

I was new to the world, young. It was my first job working with the public. I foolishly thought this would be a simple task.

"Here's the key! The bathrooms are over there by the entrance"

People come back saying they cant find it, which, okay. I think the hallway is pretty obvious, and has a big sign over it that says restroom and both the doors are labeled but. okay. i go through several variations in this first stage.

"Here's the key! There is a hall on the right, and the door on the left"

"Here's the key. There is a hall to the right of the entrance under a red sign - red, yes, red, not yellow, that is a wet floor sign-"

"If you look over there do you see the red sign on the wall that says restroom well if you follow it-"

but finally i managed to a majority of people to at the very least, arrive at the hall. but then they come back saying the key doesnt work, because they were putting it in the employee bathroom door. which okay. i also struggle to tell my left from my right on a good day. no shame. i get it.

but you see. there is another door. just behind you. and maybe TO ME YOU SEE JUST IN MY PERSONAL OPINION it would make the most sense to try the key in the other door also yes. but no they come back and they tell me. that the key doesnt work.

and when i get the hang enough to get them to the correct bathroom door mostly further unaided, they put the.

listen.

listen.

i'm trying to be so so so zen about this but they put the key in knob and then they trun the knob. but they didnt turn the key first to engage the tumbler.

and im TRYING im trying the radical compassion thing so hard lately but okay okya its fine. its fine it was many years ago

ahem

anyway

they come back. and they tell me the the key does not work. so the spiel at this point, if you have been keeping track (because i have been keeping track because the final variance of this goddamn script has been burned into the backs of my eyelids for all of eternity until the heat death of the universe, probably)

"Here is the key. To the right of the entrance, under a red sign is a hall, and when you enter the hall to your left will be a door with the words "Public Restroom." you have to put the key in the lock and turn it to open the door"

i need you to understand i am not talking about one specific individual who was particularly struggling. this confounding riddle developed over the course of months. every single time i thought i had it down to a science, someone would come back with a new and even more inexplicable variety on conundrum with this DOOOOOOOOR. ITS A DOOOOOOOOR THERE'S BEEN DOORS IN EVERY BUILDING YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN-

hh. okay.

and i'd thing 'one person isnt enough to update the whole thing' but its never ever just one person. its sisyphean. its like theres a troupe of hundred of improv performers whose job day in and day out is to ask themselves "how many different way can we not understand how to PUT A KEY. IN A LOCK. IN A DOOR. to torment this one specific 20yo into madness."

and you'd think that's it right. you see i have no specified what way one ought to turn the key in the lock.

and you see now. you see how the ourobouros devours its tail.

because the final variation is this

"Here is the key, To the right of the entrance, under a red sign is a hall, and when you enter the hall to your left will be a door with the words "Public Restroom." you have to turn the key in the lock to the left, and the knob to the right."

and thats too many directions so no one remembered it.

you do not want to know how much money i would pay to put The Goddamn Door through a woodchipper

[iamthezip]

Who is Edwin without Charles

So I got this NGL and it took me a while to answer. I mean, I had the answer almost immediately, but it quickly became a 3000 word ramble and sparked a few side rambles as well. So I tried to pare it down a bit. It kinda worked. So, here goes...

Fair warning, lots of rambling ahead but I tried!

Who is Edwin without Charles. I have TOO many thoughts about this. Firstly, hypotheticals are hard, especially with people, because there are too many variables! And in the case of Edwin, limited data. We see Edwin in the show after 30+ years of being with Charles. We have his flashback with limited shots showing him being different and ostracized by his peers then sacrificed. We know he spent 70 years in Hell. But this flashback doesn't tell us much about him as a person, just more about his peers response and treatment of him. So his actions in the attic scene and Edwin's own descriptions of himself are what we mostly have to go off of for who he is prior to spending 30+ years with Charles.

A few things we know and can assume about Edwin. Edwin is intelligent, studious, and values information and logic. Edwin is fairly straightforward. Edwin is kind (he may not be nice, but he is kind! I'll die on that hill like Charles died in that attic). He believes he is not good with people. He may have believed at some point that he deserved Hell. He does display some ptsd related symptoms and heightened fear response to certain triggers related to Hell. I mean, 30+ years later, he's still very hypervigilant about the potential of Hell finding him. Also, he has a drive and purpose with his detective work.

As for Charles, there are four things I think Charles provides Edwin that significantly impact the Edwin we see 30+ years down the road - I don't think these four things are the only things, but they're what I'm considering heavily in this portion of my analysis. Charles provides acceptance without change (accepting who Edwin is as he is and not expecting or forcing change or masking), a connection to others and the world, SAFETY (in words and actions, Charles not only claims he'll protect Edwin but repeatedly does), and absolution (this will take some explanation, later in the analysis). I think it might be argued that Charles helps Edwin find purpose in detective work, but I think this would always happen, just maybe not as quickly or easily. Reading detective stories to Charles may have made it fresh in Edwin's mind, but I think Edwin would always seek out some self-appointed task or purpose. Plus, he does reveal an ulterior motive of building a case for leniency, so the detective work purpose would eventually come about even without Charles. But, lets remove Charles from the equation.

First, Edwin will always be kind. 70+ years in Hell after being sacrificed by his peers, he still takes the time to comfort and care for an injured and dying boy, putting himself at risk at the same time. He knew Death would come when Charles passed, he explained the light to Charles, but he waits. He waits until Charles passes and even until the light appears. Edwin maintains his inherent kindness through 70+ years of the worst place and the worst people. So I think Edwin will still be kind.

Second, I disagree that Edwin is "bad with people" but he believes he is. This is ingrained from the treatment of his peers (and possibly family) and further exacerbated by being out of touch with the times, being displaced a 100 years out of time. He asks if the women in Niko's family are prone to bouts of hysteria. This would've been common medical thinking in his time. A couple episodes later, he stops himself from using the word hysteria. This implies part of his "bad with people" is lack of knowledge. That all being said, Charles is largely his source of updated information and also a connection to others, smoothing out things when Edwin says something wrong and being a major support for Edwin being himself. Without Charles as a point of connection, Edwin may never learn he isn't "bad with people" and would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. He might withdraw more and, with no one to help talk to clients and smooth out any bumps and missteps, any error would be amplified. So Edwin becomes what he believes he is, "bad with people", withdrawn, and isolated more. He already reduces a lot of interactions to their necessary functions and would just do this to more extreme.

Third, Edwin's PTSD symptoms would probably be worse including increased hypervigilance, heightened flight-freeze response, and anxiety or possible even panic attacks. All of these would be internalized as well as something being wrong with him. Charles offers safety and acceptance of Edwin - he accepts Edwin's reactions without faulting him, ridiculing him, or shaming him. He accepts Edwin sharing as much about Hell as he does (we don't know the extent and clearly he left out details, but he did tell Charles "loads of stories about Hell"). Talking through traumatic experiences and emotions is a huge part of overcoming them and moving past them. Charles offers that to Edwin. Charles also offers safety - stepping between Edwin and a threat at every opportunity, protecting Edwin from physical pain but also coming to his defense in other ways - protecting him from the concept of Hell, the risk of going back, the idea he even belongs there. Charles shows again and again that he'll protect Edwin. Edwin feels safe! And we see this with his clothes. There are only four times we see Edwin without his armor. Twice are unwilling - pain and fear in Hell and on Esther's table. Twice are willing - Ep 6 in his sweater when he plans to confess to Charles and Ep 1 in the office when its just the two of them. Edwin feels safe with Charles and takes his armor off, even when he's about to do the very frightening thing of confessing his feelings. He feels safe. But if Edwin doesn't have that acceptance and safety, I imagine he doesn't progress as much in relation to his trauma. His PTSD symptoms may worsen or at least he stays in survival mode for so much longer.

Which brings me to point four - survival mode and Edwin finding his purpose - detective work. Again, still think he'd be a detective. I just think it'd be delayed. I think Edwin would spend a lot more time in initial survival more than we can assume he did in the show. Without a sense of safety and acceptance offered by Charles, I think Edwin spends longer in survival mode, a constant state of flight. How long would he stay in survival mode, flight mode for? Would he ever feel safe or would it worsen? You do not run from trauma. You do not hide from fear. Without something to help him feel safe, would Edwin have been as trapped in his own fear and trauma as he had been previously trapped in Hell? Charles is not the only reason Edwin moves out of flight/survival mode. Edwin has to do that work himself, and maybe 30 years later he does or has. But Charles would offer a huge support in this that now isn't there. 

Finally, Edwin doesn't deserve to be in Hell, but maybe he believed he did. Maybe, without Charles, he still does. Edwin, when meeting Simon again, says "when you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell." Edwin spent the season learning about himself, exploring parts of himself he didn't before. I don't think these word were always something he believed, nor was that self-punishment something he could let go of. Every time Charles or Edwin talk about Edwin being in Hell (except when Edwin is using is as a "you know nothing of suffering" comeback), they point out that it was on a technicality. The only other exception is the attic, when Edwin reveals to Charles who only just escaped Hell. We know he wouldn't have talked about Hell previously in the attic scene, cause of how Charles reacts "chuffed you got out of Hell mate. Sounds hard" and because Edwin hadn't even told Charles he was dying so as not to scare him. A hell-condemned ghost would scare most people. But, in the attic, Edwin also doesn't clarify that he was there on a technicality. 30 years later, that technicality is always mentioned, mostly by Charles. It is very clear that in their 30 years together, Charles has been openly adamant that Edwin doesn't belong in Hell. But Edwin's first time mentioning he'd been in Hell, he doesn't mention the technicality, even as a means to not frighten Charles. Possibly, Edwin wasn't so sure at that point. Possibly, Edwin believed that he belonged there, even if it was only a technicality that got him there. Maybe he believed he was destined for the red light. So, without that defender to not just his soul but his honor and goodness, would Edwin believe he doesn't deserve to be in Hell. 

Edwin without Charles is still kind, still finds purpose, but I think struggles with finding safety and with resulting PTSD, self-acceptance, and absolution, even if its just absolution from his own self-perceived sins.

[uncle-fruity]

I appreciate everything OP said here, and so much of it rings true. And while we're on this topic, I wanna bring up something I've been mulling over that I think is related.

We have got to stop thinking of marginalized people as a monolith -- even when that homogenized version in our heads is mostly positive. What I mean is that not every trans person is a good person. Just like not every cis person is a bad person. There will be trans people who are uninformed, willfully ignorant, rude, mean, abusive, manipulative, misogynistic, hypocritical, and honestly pretty bad allies to anyone who they don't understand or don't like or who challenges their worldview. There will be cis people who are extremely well-read on the issues, understanding, supportive, encouraging, open-minded, willing to listen & learn, kind, respectful, dedicated transfeminists, and honestly some of the best allies you'll ever have.

There is this sort of underlying assumption that trans people will always understand each other better than anyone else, that we are safer with our own, but that's not always the case. It is fair to assume that trans people are more likely to connect with and understand each other, but it is (clearly, as demonstrated) not guaranteed.

That's because we are humans! Humans are messy, complex, often hypocritical, nuanced beings. We all have different experiences, surroundings, relationships, beliefs, and priorities that make us who we are. Gender is just one facet of the many many things that come together to make us wholly human. Being trans doesn't make you a good person; it makes you trans. And while being trans may give you valuable insight on gender dynamics and trans oppression via direct exposure, it does not automatically make you a scholar or expert on all trans experiences or the historical context that feminism & transfeminism is built on. That kind of information must be actively pursued if you want a fuller picture.

This is why I've been going off about critical thinking so much -- because if you aren't being critical about this, it gets very very easy to fall into a reactive and/or bigoted and/or narrow mindset, and that can be genuinely harmful to yourself and others if you're not careful. Especially on Tumblr, where someone could very easily misrepresent their identity to stir up shit and push transphobic rhetoric behind the mask of an assumed ally. Thinking critically is a vital tool to help us avoid being manipulated by a false or disingenuous narrative.

When we say, "Listen to trans people," we mean that you need to pay attention to a wide variety of trans people and what we're talking about -- because we will and do agree AND disagree with each other on a number of issues all the time. But the more of us you listen to and consider, the more likely you are to see patterns of oppression and common trans experiences that will broaden your worldview and help you make a better informed decision about what to believe or what to look further into or how to spot common anti-trans sentiments/dogwhistles. "Listen to trans people" is not followed by the secret phrase, "and thoughtlessly accept everything they say about trans issues." Anyone who demands that you agree with them without room for question or comment or criticism is trying to control the narrative. Even if there is good reason to believe someone knows their shit, it never hurts to dig deeper into the worldview someone is trying to get you to internalize before you do so.

So, with that in mind, I encourage everyone to really take stock of their priorities & values within activism and judge people on their actual behaviors & impact & quality of information they present, NOT just their stated identities. If something a fellow activist said feels uncomfortable or rubs up against your values, it's okay to examine that feeling and ask questions to figure out what's at the root of it. The trans women who act the way OP described are not representative of all trans women, nor are they necessarily our allies. The same goes for misogynistic & transmisogynistic trans men. Or trans people of any sort who subscribe to any flavor of gender/bioessentalist ideology. That isn't to say that we don't fight for their rights or support them when they fall victim to systemic violence or ignore their issues or give up on trying to educate & elevate where we can -- we are still fighting the patriarchy for everyone's benefit. But, critically, we also don't have to accept hateful rhetoric into our communities and theories just because the fuckos spouting it off are trans.

honestly, as a trans woman who's running a fairly 'popular' or whatever queer blog, i've noticed so much shit in the past 2 years and i'm just gonna lay it out for y'all. it's a new year. it's 2025. i do NOT wanna carry any more of this bullshit forward. i'm calling everything for what it is. if this pisses you off, unfollow or block and move on.

as someone else put it in the tags on one of my other posts:

i am sick and tired of not talking about extremely important queer conversation topics for the sake of "keeping the peace".

this is not giving trans women and transfemmes a better quality of life to attack literally every every and all trans men for being trans men. it's making people fucking scared shitless of us. i hope people realize this isn't helping improve the opinion other people have on trans women and transfemmes. it's making people absolutely fucking terrified to even exist around us, because we've gotten to the point where we're attacking literally everyone and anyone who says something we don't like. people are fucking terrified of talking around transfemmes and trans women and it's time we broke the silence on that.

other transfemmes and trans women: do you seriously, really want other trans people to be scared to death of you? do you really want other trans people to be absolutely fucking terrified to speak around you because they're scared of getting fucking yelled at? do you really want other trans people to be utterly terrified to speak up about their own trans issues for fear of being told they hate you? do you really want other people around you to feel utterly terrified to talk about anything queer related at all for fear of being corrected, looked down upon, or verbally harassed?

i am just completely done with this environment we've fostered where basically everyone is on pins and goddamn needles holding themselves back from having real, genuine, impactful, substantial conversations about gender because they're absolutely scared shitless of being called transmisogynistic and publicly cancelled and harassed at all times for saying something as simple as "trans men don't have it easy" or talking about how AFAB people can also be trans. it really does not take much at all to set people off on this website and start accusing people of being transmisogynists left right and center.

i'm not participating in this weird mind game anymore. i do not like how this is being used to control the narrative on transness and trans experiences.

i am done with having to walk on eggshells in every. single. conversation. we have about gender.

i am done with acting like talking about transmasculinity and transmanhood is somehow magically attacking and silencing trans women and transfemmes.

i am done with people having to tack on massive disclaimers saying that they're not attacking trans women and transfemmes just for talking about their experiences on just about every post people write about gender.

i feel like every conversation about gender on here has to be so fucking sterile and calculated and meticulously planned out and stripped of most of its contents in order to not immediately get slammed with a "oh so you hate trans women" or a "oh so you're transmisogynstic." it's fine to point out genuine transmisogyny, i'm not gonna say you have to put up with it when it's real, but can we acknowledge that people are leveraging the fear other people have of being called transmisogynistic to shut people up?

at this point it's being used as a scare tactic and i'm so over it. i loathe how accusing people of being transmisogynistic is a default insult. trans men can't make a post about transmasculinity without someone getting pissed off and calling them transmisogynistic. trans men can't talk about a goddamn thing without being told to shut up, for some reason? why is this happening? like literally why are you doing this? trans men can't talk about ANYTHING at this point. like they needed to be able to coin words for the specific types of oppression they face so they could talk about it, and instead they just get fucking yelled at and told they're being copycats and that the violence they faced wasn't real? what the actual hell is this accomplishing?

why are we acting like we own oppression and no one else can even come close to understanding what its like? come on now, we don't own the goddamn concept of oppression. we also don't own transness. i am sick to death of this idea that transfemininity and trans womanhood are the only "real" ways to be trans. we do not own the concept of transness. it's not just about us. "trans rights" applies to more than just us. it can't be about us all the time. WE are the ones being self centered right now. WE are the ones who are forcing the conversation to be about us in situations where it's completely and totally inappropriate.

we need to say it for what it is: we're fostering an environment where, at this point, only trans women and transfemmes are allowed to talk about anything queer related at this point. like can we call it for what it is? for some reason, trans men and transmascs aren't allowed to talk about trans manhood or transmasculinity at all. ever. they're not allowed to say a fucking peep. they have to shut up and listen to a trans woman explain it to them, because for some reason, the trans woman knows trans manhood better than the trans man. this is out of fucking control, we should not have trans women explaining trans manhood to other people unless they are also a trans man. this is just unacceptable. transfems attack transmascs who speak for transfems, and yet this is seen as good and the norm?

you are not cool if you hate trans men and misgender them on purpose. this isn't feminist. this isn't progressive. you're not getting back at the patriarchy- most trans men do not benefit from patriarchy and never will- you would understand this if you listened to them. instead of talking over and for trans men, and listening to people who talk over and for trans men, if you listened to trans men, the source, you'd understand that no, transmasculine lives are NOT easy and no, trans men do not instantly benefit from patriarchal society if at all, ever. if you listened you'd understand that T doesn't make people aggressive and hostile and evil. if you listened you'd understand that there are a lot of wonderful, loving trans men out there are who are not transmisogynistic just by virtue of existing.

nobody is saying that we want to you prioritize men over trans women when we talk about trans men's rights. we're not saying that we need to talk about men all the time and never talk about women, and that men are the only ones allowed to talk, now. we really have to let multiple people participate in conversations. we can't keep doing this thing where One Gender Has To Be Superior Over another. that's gender essentialism. why must you keep yourself trapped inside the binary like that? why are you so desperate to stay stuck inside of the machine that's trying to destroy you?

challenging someone else's transphobia is not being transphobic. challenging someone else's behavior is not hating them or their gender. criticism is not an attack on trans womanhood and transfemininity. transfemmes are trans women are not immune to criticism and we need to stop acting like we are. we're not. we've created an echo chamber where only trans women and transfemmes are allowed to talk right now and it's not transmisogynistic to point that out, because it's literally happening before our eyes.

if we're demanding that other people treat us better, why are we treating other people like shit in the process to get it?

stop silencing other people talking about other trans experiences. transfemininity and trans womanhood are not the only ways to be trans. stop forcing yourself into conversations you don't belong in. if you don't want trans men do that, don't do it as a trans woman. don't barge into conversations you have literally 0 stock in just to be rude and mean and make the conversation about trans women instead. let other people talk. this has gone on for way too long.

let. other. trans. people. talk. we shouldn't have let it get this bad. but i'm not letting it stay this bad. if you want to accuse people having genuine conversations about transness of being transmisogynistic just because they're not a trans woman, then feel free, i'm not gonna stop you, but i'm not listening to you. i don't care anymore. i'm sick to death of not being able to have REAL conversations on here because some people don't like being reminded that they are not the only people who suffer under cisheteronormative patriarchy. if you can't accept that you are not the only one who suffers under patriarchy and that men need to be liberated from patriarchy as well, then i'm not interested in having a conversation with you to begin with.

seriously, if any of this bothers you, please just block me. i'm not participating in these dumb ass little mind games anymore. i do not give a singular shit about offending people who think this behavior is okay. i spent way too long being afraid to speak up about real world issues because of shitty internet trolls. i don't give a fuck if someone you don't like speaking about their experiences hurts your feelings- you are the problem here.

this is affecting real people in real time and i care about that. i care about people, not stupid ideologies and fighting over who is or isn't "really trans". i care about people, not fighting over labels. open your mind and understand that is is about real ass people, and not just ideologies. trans men and mascs are real ass people. they're not antagonists made specifically to attack and piss off transfemmes and trans women. enough of this.

[stiltsthegm]

What if you just had fun?

When I'm really bored at work and need something to distract me, but can't get TOO distracted (due to the aforementioned work), I like to watch challenge runs. This inevitably leads to me getting other videos that are tangentially-related to the game that was the subject of the video I just saw, and that's how I stumbled upon this one:

And it was fascinating to me in a way that made me feel a need to say something about it. Not in, like, a mean way (I'm aiming for a gentle ribbing, at most). There's been thoughts stirring in me for a while now about how disconnected I can sometimes feel between the ways I experience games and how "content creators" play games that are simply fascinating to me.

Although I do recommend watching at least some of the video to get the gist of what's happening, I'll do my best to accurately summarize the main thing that prompted this whole post: the author has played Skyrim a lot, almost always with a bunch of mods, and nearly always played it the same way: stealth archer. However, he recently tried a challenge playthrough that essentially forced him to engage in a bunch of systems he never paid much attention to before: alchemy, blacksmithing, mining, herb gathering, and shouts to name just a few. He even found himself using fast travel less, because it meant he could do gathering and transmutation magic while going to his next destination instead of going out of his way to grind out everything right before he needed it. This ended up giving him a greater appreciation for how an un-modded Skyrim actually works and is deeper than he originally gave it credit for.

My first reaction to this was perhaps a little uncharitable: "Were you even playing Skyrim at all until now?"

In a previous video he made (which I also watched), he talks about why stealth archery is so popular. He posits that it's the only combat method that plays well with Skyrim's other systems, since its damage scales well, it's precise (very little worry about hitting friendly NPCs), it's the easiest way to engage in stealth mechanics, and it's just generally pretty powerful. I'm mostly sympathetic to that opinion, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't find stealth archer to be my favorite way to play.

However, I was completely blindsided by someone saying they didn't engage in so many of these other systems. Like, yes, you can simply buy armor and weapons and potions, so alchemy and blacksmithing isn't mandatory. You can ignore it if you want to. But to not EVER try to engage with it?

I've encountered this sort of disconnect before in a way I found much more frustrating. You see, I really like the Civilization games, but I'm kind of bad at intuiting the systems at play on my own. I often look up videos from much smarter people to help me build a foundation of understanding so I can then I can at least make terrible choices on purpose rather than on accident. I was watching one particular Youtuber's reactions to some Civ 7 gameplay previews and found myself constantly baffled by the statements they were making. There were several little things that irritated me, but the one that finally made me turn off the video was a criticism of Civ 7 trying to implement story events like Paradox games do. They mentioned they hated that kind of mechanic and completely ignored the writing, just picking whichever choice offered the best mechanical advantage at the time. It was then that I realized that this analysis video was going to be completely useless to me. We had very different priorities, and they had no interest in considering that changes from any angle other than the very narrow one they've always used. Like, sure, maybe it will end up being bad, but this is one preview video of one playthrough. Being angry at just the concept of story events seemed absurd.

There are folks out there who like "solving" video games. They find the most efficient, most powerful thing they can do, and they do that. Over and over and over again. I think what hit me most about the Skyrim video was that I wasn't expecting to find that kind of playstyle applied to that game. Skyrim exists so you can play in it. I sometimes make characters that run up to guys and hit them with a big sword not because it's the best way to play the game, but because it's just funny to hit guys with a big sword. I explore the map because Skyrim's world is beautiful, and I like simply being in it. I gather herbs because it gives me something to do while hiking and I like how the plant's graphic changes after I collect it. I do things in Skyrim not because I'm forced to, but because I want to explore what the game has to offer. And lately, I sometimes choose to not do things because I want to play a role.

The more I thought about Thane's Skyrim video, the more I grew fond of it. It starts out as just another challenge run where he's thinking about mechanical efficiency, and ends with him appreciating just how many different things he can do in the base game (Building a house! Marriage! Praying at shrines!) and how these systems interact with each other. That's neat! I genuinely love that someone who plays these games from a completely different mindset than I do can keep an open mind and learn share my love of these mechanics. I wish I saw it happen more often.

[marzshin]

kalim with a goth!reader (romantic)

this is mostly based off the fashion and cosmetic aspects of it instead of personality traits most commonly assumed that a goth person would have.

•honestly it’s a visual shock to a lot of the students attending NRC. A girl dressed in all dark colors, heavy makeup, and just an overall intimidating look to her with a guy that’s pretty much the literal embodiment of the sun? crazy.

•Kalim, however, adores this about your relationship. he loves the dynamic it forms and just how different you are. he’s attracted to your confidence and openness, he likes that you dress the way you dress, and that you choose to continue it even if many of the other people at that school just don’t really understand it.

•he notices your fashion and likes to buy you silver jewelry because it’s just what he sees you wear most often. it’s a small sentiment but it can mean a lot to a person. not to mention, if he sees anything remotely bat or spider like, you best believe he’s buying it for you; it can become quite cluttered with all the decor and little trinkets he’s gotten you so make sure you have plenty of space.

•the one thing he likes most of all is your makeup. he’ll sit there next to you and watch every line you draw on your face with eyeliner and how elegantly you apply it with a beaming smile. he may not want to wear it himself all the time but he’d definitely let you do his makeup when you wanted to (maybe just to feel your hands on his cheeks as you guide his face side to side but he still enjoys it nonetheless). in the shelter of your own rooms, he’ll beg you to kiss his face with a deep red or black lipstick on just so he can relish in the sight of your lips imprinted on his brown skin.

sighhhh he’s so cute🥲 sorry if it might be a bit out of character and it’s very self indulgent; im still not confident in my writing capabilities. anyway! i hope the other kalim fans enjoy this as much as i do.😙😙 love you all!

[isavulpix]

Late Nights

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

I wrote this after watching a lot of sad DC edits in TikTok, I need more happy edits about the Batfam and Dickkory. This was mostly for funsies so sorry if it's shit.

Warnings: English isn’t my first language so there will be errors, and characters may be OOC. Fluff? Fluff.

Isavulpix masterlist

It was late at night, and you had a bad night after stopping Mr. Zsasz from killing some innocent people, you guessed they were tourists because who walks in Gotham streets at night with no protection? The good thing was that the night was over, and you could head back home to wash the day off.

Entering the apartment, your gaze falls on the dirty boots beside your shoe rack, and then the black leather jacket on the couch. You sigh annoyed and move the items to their respective places, how many times will you need to remind him of these things? You walk into your room knowing that he is there and as much as he annoys you, you can’t help but feel happy that, for a change, he is the one home first.

Inside the room, you see the familiar figure of the man you love sprawled on your bed reading a book. It must be that special edition Jane Austin book he ordered some months ago. “How did patrol go?” He asks you while turning a page of the book and you walk behind a folding screen to undress from your suit.

“It was fine, nothing I couldn’t handle” You walk to your bathroom to take a quick shower. When you come back, he moves your suit to where you usually place it, and you can't help but roll your eyes. “If only you did that with your stuff” You smile when he wraps his hands and arms around your form. He was saying something, but you were more occupied robbing his body heat, it was a cold night and Jason's big form was enough of a heater for you.

What makes you come back to reality is the sudden push. “Jason!” You groan when you feel his body waiting over you. “Ugh! Scoot over, you're too heavy” You try to move away but he tightens his hold so you it was more you moving like a wiggly worm.

“No, now shut up and stop moving. I'm trying to relax” You scoff at his response, but do as he says, letting him get comfy. That’s how he ended up with his head between your breasts, arms around your waist, and one of your hands caressing his hair. You liked to twirl the white strikes of hair he had, sometimes even braiding them.

 “I guess work was good today since you’re here early”

“Mm…it was fine, nothing I can't handle” You roll your eyes when he uses the exact words you used earlier so you tug the hair you were twirling.

“Very funny, Todd” Jason moves his head up, now his chin resting between your breasts while smirking.

“I know, sweetheart maybe I should quit and become a comedian” He leaves a kiss where his chin was resting.

“Please, don’t. I love you, but not enough to maintain you after your comedian career crashes, plus you would grow too bored without some action in your life” You could feel your cheeks heating up when you feel him smiling against the skin of your chest. “Not that kind of action!” Now you can feel the heat of your cheeks expanding to your ears.

Jason only laughs at your embarrassment. “Really?” He moves his hands to touch your hot cheeks. “Because this is telling something different” Jason smiles when you groan and try again to move away from him, but he doesn’t let you. He wraps his arms yet again around you but this time you two lay facing each other.

“Your so annoying” You mumble when you feel one of his hands grabbing your ass, but you move your arms to hug him closer.

[shiftingwitholiver]

aaaahhh okay i just found this and i kinda wanna do it so here goes :D

part 1:

it's an original situation based around living in a small town by the sea with my boyfriend and getting to have a happy life that is suitably quiet. i really really want to live somewhere by the ocean (i have an odd yearning and fascination for the sea) so i've been thinking this dr up for a while. it's mostly getting chips and walking on the beach and painting and snuggling up next to my boyfriend with a hot chocolate and a disney film.

i think i'm most excited to go to the beach and call my boyfriend

i dunno, something to do with the ocean? acedamia of some sort? perhaps lighthousecore is the way to descibe it? (all of these different -core's are staring to annoy me)

my favorite place is either the beach or my boyfriends house

i have't really scripted many scenarios, but the one i do have is one time me and my boyfriend go to the beach for a walk and end up having a play fight, one of us gets pushed into the ocean that is starting to coming in and they pull the other in, then we stumble home, soaked but happy and dry off.

part 2:

Olive, this isn't my name in this reality but it's the one i use for all of my drs

i'm more carefree than here, happier, i'm an artist, i'm autistic, i'm scripting out my hEDs, i like history a lot and, i dunno. i always struggle to explain who i am and what my traits are

similar to here, dark brown curly hair, blueish grey eyes, kinda short

interesting fact: i do a lot of looking for things on the beach and i have a little collection of fossils and seaglass

part 3:

i first found out about shifting because one of my friends on wattpad was a shifter (i'm not on that platform anymore and unfortunately i haven't spoken to her in years) she had a book of her journey and some shifting methods and tips

i honestly can't remember

i love alunir, a lot of people do, and before i shift i'll sometimes listen to asmr, either relating to the dr or just something calming

my favorite shifting method is something i kind of patched together myself based on what i find works for me best, i might make a post about it at some point

my main motivation is often my s/o or trying to get away from things in real life (GCSEs are kicking my arse right now)

my main tip is to just keep at it, keep enjoying it and always remember that it's okay to have your doubts, just trust that you can do it and know you found out about shifting for a reason. good luck :)

there we go haha!! been wanting to talk about this DR for a while so i'm very glad i came across this post. have a nice day/night everyone!!

~Olive

A challenge for Reality Shifters!

Reblog this post & answer these questions, you can totally skip whichever ones you want, this is just because I like hearing about other people's DRs .:)

Part 1: Your DR

What is your DR? Is it a TV show, a movie, a book, or maybe an original situation?

If your DR is based on pre-existing media, did you change anything, or did you add any details?

What are you most excited to do when you shift there?

How would you describe your DR's aesthetic?

What is your favorite place in your DR?

If you scripted scenarios, which one is your favorite?

What is your safe word/action?

Part 2: Your DR-self

What is your name in your DR?

Who are you in your DR? What are your defining traits?

What do you look like in your DR?

What do you sound like in your DR?

What's an interesting fact about your DR-self?

Part 3: Your shifting journey

How did you first find out about shifting?

What was your first shifting attempt like?

If you've shifted in the past, what was your favorite part of your DR?

If you like to use online meditations, which are your favorites?

If you like to use online subliminals, which are your favorites?

What is your favorite shifting method?

What is something that gives you motivation to shift?

What is one piece of advice you would give to other shifters?

the end :)

[asher-writes]

Author Ask Tag

Big thanks to @the-inkwell-variable for this tag!! Follow them!!

I suppose seeing as I'm posting The Anthology of Cardinal Sins, I'll talk about that!

What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?

So I was raised catholic, and the thing about being raised catholic is that it's like being dumped into a vat of guilt as a young child and then spending the rest of your life trying to make sense of the things you now have to unlearn.

I thought about how we learn that good is someone without sin, and I thought about how I think good people do bad things and try to do better. And then I wrote some stories about good people who do bad things, sometimes because they were just making bad choices, or trusted the wrong people. Sometimes because they thought they were doing the right thing. I also write about bad people who couldn't be worse, for the sake of it.

Ultimately, it's an examination of how goodness doesn't - and shouldn't - present itself as something squeaky clean and "without sin." Bad people are bad because it's easy for them. Good people do bad things, and they learn from them.

It's also about gay polyamory and love <3

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?

If I say I hallucinated most of it from a Hozier album, would you believe me? I also take big inspiration from Ghibli for the CS and Sleep of a King world. Other than that, different mythologies, mainly Christian and Greek.

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, or help the reader grow as a person?

I have a few MCs, but I'd say most of them are just trying to figure out how to be happy and do their jobs. I want people to forgive themselves, mostly. Nobody can be perfect.

How many chapters is your story going to have?

*is running away*

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Original content and I am posting it on Substack!

When did you start writing?

...I was a very lonely child. Despite being basically blind until I got my glasses, I was telling and writing and somehow reading from the age of 3. The optician could not understand how I was doing this as I had massive spot thingies at the back of my eyes. I don't know how I was doing this either.

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

There are some days when I am so wrapped up in loathing of my writing. These are the days that you should post something.

I follow many, many other writers, but here's a list (pls take this as an invitation to do this tag):

@tc-doherty (fantastic YA author) @did-i-do-this-write (absolute MVP) @winterandwords (Recommend so highly I could combust), @oh-no-another-idea (Urban fantasy writer - which always has me by the hooks). @aromanticsky (Aromantic stories <3) @seastarblue (fantastic worldbuilder) and that's all I've got, but I Know I'm forgetting people.

[drades-lair]

Secrets

Fandom: Dragon age veilguard

Rating: T

Pairing(s): Rook/Lucanis

Secrets. Everyone has secrets. Rook was no different despite what his team saw there was many things they didn't...the scars, the anguish, what lay under the surface in both the figurative sense and the literal. Sitting on the shay in the meditation chamber of the lighthouse he pulled the leather straps of a leg brace tight around the midthigh of his left leg. An injury years ago had threatened to rob Rook of his job with the crows luckily a few well-placed bribes had kept his little secret and his job intact. The brace made of high-quality leather, metal and runes kept his leg moving how it should by strapping just above his knee and below, and a personalized potion kept the pain under control. Keeping this secret had been easy thus far granted it’s not hard to keep a secret when you’re on your own 90 percent of the time however the moment you join a team things can become...complicated. Lucanis was proving to be a big part of that challenge…in more ways than one, not only was he in the same profession as Rook thus creating the potential of other crows finding out about him… there was also the fact, they’d started sharing a space more often promptly increasing the risk of him finding out about Rook's little secret. The development of these feelings unfortunately meant a mistake was...inevitable. A kiss…then another...touches...it was mostly a blur wrapped in the scent of coffee. Rook managed to keep enough sense to dodge away for just a moment to remove his brace out of sight. Enough practice allowed him to keep Lucanis from realizing anything was amiss...but it could only go so far.

… Morning brought a haze that clouded Rook's normally sharp mind, breathing in the sweet aroma of coffee he glanced over the back of the shay to see Lucanis standing near his wardrobe. A small smile crossed Lucanis' face as he met Rook's gaze, pushing off the wardrobe to begin slowly moving closer. Lucanis moved around the shay as Rook made his mistake, unthinking he stood up intending to meet Lucanis only to feel agony, features twisting as his leg refused to do what it should. "Rook!?" Lucanis exclaimed, swiftly placing his coffee cup on the side table moments before catching Rook mid fall. Rook gripped Lucanis' arms, breathing heavily as he tried to tamper down the pain while Lucanis held him with worry in his eyes. "I...my bag..." Rook managed to grit out with a shaky gesture to his pack across the room on the floor. "Alright," Lucanis confirmed, setting Rook on the shay before moving to grab up the leather pack. Lucanis watched worriedly yet patiently as Rook snatched the bag then dug through it till he pulled out a glass bottle with a brown liquid inside. Popping the cork Rook downed it, wiping his chin afterwards from a trickle that had dribbled down it. Slowly the pain subsided enough to clear Rook's mind, slamming him into the wall that was the reality of what happened. Rook spared Lucanis a single glance before averting his gaze to the floor, frown firmly situated on his features. "Rook?" Lucanis gently asked, slowly moving to sit beside the other man. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have...I should have...told you..." Rook stumbled over his words, uncertain what or how to say what he needed too. "No need to apologize. What happened?" Lucanis assured his lover, making certain to keep his tone gentle.

"An old injury...the wounds healed but.... something inside...didn't..." Rook confessed still refusing to look at Lucanis. "You keep it hidden...why?" Lucanis wondered. "Because...if the crows found out...I'd be out of a job," Rook responded. "It's that bad?" Lucanis asked, a deep furrow of concern situating itself on his features. "I wear a special brace that I had hand crafted in Minrathous, magical runes assist in my walking and the potion helps with the pain," Rook explained. "Why continue if it causes you so much pain?" Lucanis inquired, confusion mingling with his concern.

"You're a crow...could you be without the job?" Rook retorted finally bring his gaze to Lucanis'. "Hmm...fair point. Why didn't you tell me?" Lucanis finally asked the question Rook had been dreading. "I was...afraid you'd tell the organization..." Rook trailed off, averting his gaze once again. "Mierda... Rook, I would never betray you like that," Lucanis sighed in exasperation, placing his hand over one of Rooks that had been resting on the shay between them. "I know, I know! I never said it was a good idea,” Rook responded, with an irritated growl.

Another heavy sigh left Lucanis’ lips as he gently moved his hand from Rook’s hand to caress down the other man’s closest thigh to the inner portion where he pulled lightly. Rook looked up at Lucanis with a slight confused furrow, yet he was already complying with the prompt presented.

“Here, lay down and rest your legs on mine,” Lucanis clarified as Rook followed the instruction despite still being a little confused at what Lucanis was up to.

Lucanis gently began to massage at Rook’s thigh just above his knee, kneading slowly down with increasing pressure causing a pained hiss to escape him. Watching Rook’s reactions carefully Lucanis kept his slow pace, feeling the scar tissue beneath Rook’s skin as the other man bared each painful touch with a wince.

“You can still move it…” Lucanis trailed off, the statement holding a whiff of a question under it.

“Yes…I just can’t bare weight on it...ugh!” Rook answered with a wince.

“Sorry…have you tried this before?” Lucanis asked referring to the massage he was currently administering.

“N-No…I had to be careful in seeing healers…in case the crows found out,” Rook continued to wince as he answered Lucanis’ question.

“Understood, is the pain easing at all?” Lucanis inquired with a slight concerned look.

“Mm…a little…” Rook admitted.

“Then perhaps I should do this on occasion and help you build up the muscles…it may not eliminate your problem completely, but it may ease some of the discomfort,” Lucanis stated, rubbing lightly over the length of Rook’s leg.

“Hmm, sure…worth a try,” Rook agreed with a small smile.

After a while Rook moved to sit up, gesturing to the wardrobe where he’d stashed his brace the night previous. Lucanis obliged in retrieving the brace from the wardrobe then watched with curiosity as Rook applied the brace to his leg followed by activating the runes on either side of his knee.

“It’s amazing that you can move around the way that you do, I know the brace helps...but still…” Lucanis commented upon watching Rook stand up as if nothing was wrong with him except a minor limp.

“A stubborn constitution helps,” Rook retorted with a smirk as he moved to grab a pair of cotton pants from the back of the shay.

“Too true,” Lucanis agreed with a chuckle.    

[theallianceofcelestials]

A big what if scenario for SEA!AU ; but how would KC and the rest of the family react to Eclipse somehow getting turned into a child / baby for a few hours / days?

You just opened a can of worms friend. I'll just use a similar format as to what I used with the WN and SEA characters meeting.

More under, because this is a bit long, and I should have done this last time too

The only way he can turn into a kid is obviously with some SCP shenanigans, though I'll admit I haven't done my research and don't know if there's any SCPs able to turn people into children (though with how many of them exist, I wouldn't be surprised) But even if there is one, he's an animatronic so it'd probably work differently.

Let's just say there're 2 scenarios, one where it's just a childified body his adult self is in, and one where he's both child sized and acts like one too with no memories of his adult life.

In the first scenarion he'd be very annoyed and angry. He's also try hiding probably once he realises the "danger" he's in. He does not want to be a plush toy.

Killcode

First scenario

The moment he sees his grumpy animatronic son in the child body, most likely after having searched the facility for him because he did not come back for dinner and he didn't mention any work related stuff that might take a bit, it'd be over immediately. There'd be no way you can get him off of Eclipse.

He'd always want to cuddle him, keep him close, and maybe tease him lightly over getting turned into a child. It's his right as a father, and if he's shouted at more than not, then he's just going to have to keep his laughter in more.

He'd mostly do this to cover up his worry, because this is his most fragile kid turned even more fragile. Eclipse is not known already in their family as a fighter, more a runner, but with those stubby short legs how is he going to get away from danger? He obviously can't let his kid leave his sight, otherwise he may die. He hopes the Foundation is working on a solution already, because if not there'll be hell to pay.

He'd be unwilling to let his kid out of his sight like this, going into full on helicopter mode. He'd insist Eclipse stay on his shoulder at the very least if he doesn't want cuddles, and he'd be reluctant to give him up even to their family. It's the I'm-the-parent-of-small-child instincts, and they've revived with a vengance he didn't experience even when his kids were young. Probably because his kids were always hardier.

Second scenario

In this scenarion the panicking scientist he was working with would probably call Killcode in, because he's becoming a personnel member anyway, and because they fear if they didn't, and tried to hide this, they'd all be brutally murdered. They're all correct obviously.

The child Eclipse, with no memories of his life, wouldn't know who or what Killcode is, only that he's been told he's his dad. Perhaps his daycare programming would tell him information about these things, so he'd know what a dad is. He'd just light up at the sight of his papa, happily reaching out in what his code knows is normal behaviour for children. It'd actually be kinda funky if he immitated how a human child would act with their parent based on what his programming tells him is normal.

Killcode, obviously, wouldn't know how to react. On one hand, that's his kid, on the other, he finds this whole thing unnatural. Kinda uncanny valley. He'd also be pretty scared his child was deleted and thus basically murdered. It gets proven wrong thankfully when Eclipse starts babbling about stuff only his adult version would know, like how he wants to go back to their room and play with everyone, and can they pleasee have lava cake today? It'd greatly calm KC, who'd go into indulgent dad mode.

He'd still be constantly cuddling, but he'd be much softer. He'd take this as his chance to make up for the time they weren't together, because maybe if they can make nice memories for Eclipse in this young stage of him, his past wouldn't hurt that much.

He'd obviously be overprotective, happiest when he can cuddle this toddler version of his child, and he'd fold to the faded-gold optics whenever they widen and make more sweets than he ever did. He'd be humming sillier songs when he cooks, watching the child toddling around happily, without a clue to the dangers and horrors he's faced.

He'd absolutely melt when Eclipse calls him papa, or when the little one pounces on his legs because his paws are funny, he'd sit on the floor all day sometimes just helping Eclipse build something out of legos, read him bedtime stories, and just fall asleep on the couch while Eclipse is in his lap.

Solar Flare

First scenario

Seeing its big brother so small and adorable looking would make its perpetual expression into the happy little smiling squints it's able to do. They're just so happy to see their big brother like this.

He'd obviously ask Killcode to cuddle his brother plenty of times, but'd make a bunch of drawings of Eclipse sitting grumpily on Killcode's shoulders. The wall would be filled with all of them, and Eclipse can't even be mad at it properly.

Whenever it wants to dance though Eclipse would deny it. He's just unwilling to embarrass himself even more than he already is. Solar Flare would be sad over that, and would want this to be over with soon. He wants to go back to hanging out with its big brother like usual.

Second scenario

The toddler version of its brother would have its heart in a tight-fist clench in seconds, and there's no stopping it. Even if it's a bit confused on who's the big brother anymore. The kid is still trying to fit that older sibling place, but because he's just a toddler it's... a bit questionable.

They'd draw lots together, do silly dances and Eclipse, despite their spikes, would happily climb onto their back and point it in directions to go in. It'd obviously comply, quickly finding amusement in being the horsey once they get over their fear of him stabbing himself on his spikes.

The two of them would also become very 'judgy' about their siblings, playfully poking at them together. Because of the toddler, Solar Flare can get away with playfully bullying its other brothers, who have to grit their teeth so the baby doesn't cry.

Bloodmoon

First scenario

They'd laugh their asses off. No question in that. They'd also be unbearingly overprotective, no question about that either.

They would curl up around Eclipse, despite him hissing and grumbling at them to leave him alone, surrounding him with safety and warmth. It doesn't sit well with them to see him so small, especially when the child body's battery is smaller and he just generally gets more tired easier. But seeing him plug in to charge more would be a torture. But seeing him yawning more would be funny.

They're also barred from dancing with him, which makes them slightly annoyed but they suck it up, mostly able to play Scrabble with him. Which is fun, don't get them wrong, but they're more physically inclined creatures.

The funniness of it would just wear off after some point and leave them with loads of anxiety, because he still wants to do dangerous things, but his body just doesn't allow for that anymore. They'd be freaking out by day two

Second scenario

Blasted SCPs! They're the eldests again!

Bloody would feel terribly shaky with their big brother being a toddler, even more unsure than ever, because now they're adults and Eclipse is soft compared to them. He'd be freaking out. Rusty wouldn't be so obvious, but he too is scared of screwing up.

Eclipse wants to do stuff with them though. He remembers playing Scrabbles with them, but now he finds it boring which'd panic the twins. He also doesn't like horror anymore, crying at the more grusome scenes, so watching movies/playing games they did before is out too. All that's left is dancing too, which they'd be happy to do, watching stuff like Jurassic park where they root for the dinos, and playing tag.

They're a bit rusty (haha) at this whole child appropriate thing, especially because they were kids themselves when their siblings were kids, but they'll try their best.

They play tag with Eclipse, play hide and seek with him too, pretending not to see/hear the little toddler. They'd be absolutely down to play horsey, get into tickle fights and just generally have fun.

They'd jump on top of the shelves near the ceiling of the room, leaving the tot up there, and playfully threatening to keep him there if he doesn't behave. They'd also throw him in the air a lot, and give him playful shakes whenever they're holding him.

They'd feel kind of nostalgic over it, despite never having interacted with children before as an adult.

Lunar

First scenario

He's laighing. Eclipse is struggling with life in general, and he's laughing.

He'd bully him so much about his height its unreal. All the shortie jokes that he has to deal with. He'd be epecially insufferable if he was taller too.

He's consequently be basically ignored by Eclipse thus, who would be a sore loser about this. Because he didn't sign up to be made fun of. (he obviously ignores all the times he calls Lunar a midget, those don't count because he is, while Eclipse is just an unlucky bastart)

Lunar would be busy laughing his ass off to truly realise how uncomfortable he actually feels about this all. He'd sometimes wake up in the night though, wishing to snuggle into a silicone chest, only to remember his big brother is small now. He wouldn't admit how much that bothers him though

Second scenario

He's uncomfortable. Very, very uncomfortable. He doesn't know how to handle not being the youngest anymore. Even if only temporarily.

He'd be the most withdrawn because of it in the beginning, only to feel horrible at the obvious hurt in the toddler's optics. He'd fold before long eventually, but only because he misses his big brother.

He finds he doesn't much mind the kid, maybe even has fun with him, even if they do have to play less or even different games to their usual. They can't exactly play scary games when the tot freaks out over it. So they'd play more stuff like Mario Kart and what not, even if Eclipse's coordination like this is not the best. Lunar has to throw a lot so he doesn't end up with a crying toddler next to him. He wouldn't mind it all that much as he gets into it, happily losing a couple times so the kid can be happy too.

He'd miss his older brother tho. He gets it the others are having fun with the toddlerified Eclipse, but he personally misses the Eclipse who's confident, smart and doesn't freak out over jumpscares. He's kind of sad about him not being there anymore. Even if only temporarily, Lunar doesn't like being an older brother, Feels wrong to him.

Sun

First scenario

He'd be having the time of his life pretending his nephew is an actual child. After Killcode he's the worst offender of cuddles.

He'd just hug Eclipse to himself, ignoring the angry mumbling and escape attempts. He'd however also make sure Eclipse knows he's just messing with him. He doesn't actually want there to be any bad blood between them.

He'd probably keep his cats away from him like this, unsure how they'd react. It's an amusing attempt when all they want is to snuggle to the snuggle-sized Eclipse. They'd absolutely bully him

Second scenario

He'd melt. And he'd go into full uncle mode.

He'd be doing arts'n'crafts constantly with the kid, snatch him playfully off the ground to nuzzle, and make loads of pancakes. He'd also have fun knitting clothes for the child, making a full winter get up with the mittens, oversized scarf and big sweated and cutesy hat.

He'd be careful when introducing him to the cats, making loads of pictures of them snuggling on the couch and bed. He'd be absolutely delighted to have Eclipse toddle after him curiously, and he'd ring his bells for him just to get his attention.

He'd be all into reading stories for him too, making all the silly voices he can. He'd also sew a plushy probably, maybe a little kitty to match the little Eclipse, squealing in delight when he brings it with him to everywhere.

He'd be doing fun bathtime routines too, making extensive bubble baths so the toddler can have all the fun. One night he'd just show up with a bunch of bathtime toys, and no one dares question him.

They'd also make a solar bot club with Solar Flare, and Sun'd teach the toddler Eclipse (whose normal, adult version taught Sun) how to make friendship bracelets, so all the club members match.

He'd probably almost fistfight Killcode too over who gets to snuggle when. He barely holds himself back, because that is still his brother's kid.

Moon

First scenario

After having a good laugh, he'd immediately start looking for a cure. Eclipse appreciates this, and would probably try sticking to him the most despite how he also makes fun of him extensively. In Eclipse's opinion, that's still better than all the coddling. That's just kinda the norm for Moon.

He'd try to act less jerkish though, simply because he's not immune to the size no matter what he tells himself. It's just his touch averse nature keeping him from actually cuddling. He'd probably do more heatpats, which he'd disguise as condescending so Eclipse doesn't realise he finds him adorable too

Second scenario

He'd keep away, afraid he'd fuck up somehow. This obviously wouldn't go down well with the tot, who does remember his uncle Moonie doesn't like tocuhes, but his programming is telling him to at least sometimes give him a hug because that's what you do with uncles. Moon would obviously fold eventually.

He'd allow the occasional hug, but'd still make it pretty clear it's only good if it's allowed touch. Instead of all the physical touches, he'd opt for quality time and gifts.

He'd teach the kid how to build things, proud when the skills he got as an adults kinda shine through. They'd build stuff from all sorts of things, from legos, from building blocks, from jenga and etc. He'd also get one of this for kids mini robots that you have to build yourself and can practice programming on. He'd also let the kid 'make' a video game, which would just be him sitting in Moon's lap and telling him what to do.

He'd also unwillingly go into naptime mode, reading bedtime stories so he falls asleep, singing lullabies when it's just the two of them, and even rocking him occasionally when he feels comfortable with a bit more touch. Because of this Eclipse would go to him whenever he feels tired during the day. He'd then curl up next to Moon, or even in his lap, while his uncle reads him a story and pats him like a kitty.

He'd be especially happy with all the ray skritches Moon can do, sometimes being annoying on puprose so his uncle will shut him up by going for his rays to make him sleep. Moon would be irritated by how he's outsmarted by a toddler each time.

He'd also take it upon himself to make him learn stuff, unwilling to let his knowledge maniac nephew sit idle. Eclipse enjoys these lessons, bringing notebooks he can scribble into. His notes though would be half badly spelled words and half drawings. Moon will never admit he finds it adorable.

After he's back in his normal body in the first scenario he's pretty mad and humiliated, and would be withdrawn and angry for a couple days. Lots of groveling would be needed to make him forgive people.

The second scenario would also end with him embarrassed in the end, but he's feel pretty touched by all the things they did for him. He doesn't want a repeat though

[whatremained]

actually keep writing reactions i love reading them

and sorry for responding again. i really like this musical and ... just like talking about it when i can.

with you saying that me reading connor as autistic is a real take, i giggle. i mean i believe it, but i haven't heard many other people read him that way, and it's nice to see someone who agrees. and i do also argue a lot the cast is neurodivergent, and i would say... the main three characters we NEED to be focusing on and thinking about throughout the story (evan, zoe, connor), are all autistic.

though the authors grossly say that evan isn't autistic because "he wants friends…" obviously they don't know what autism is. most autistic people WANT friends, just like how most PEOPLE want friends. we're no different. evan… quite literally is read as autistic, not only to neurotypical people, but also neurodivergent people. (so much so that when i attended the show with my brother who had never seen it before, he turned to me after act one and directly asked if evan was autistic. he is neurodivergent, and it wasn’t an insult by the way he worded it and the way he expressed it. 😭) it REALLY sucks that the writers of the show said shit like that, but it doesn’t change how most of the audience perceives evan.

zoe just reads as autistic to me because of her very set mind and how she views the world. also... zoe can come off as bratty at times! and how she acts can be mistaken for genuine brattiness when she's just... trying to make a point, or say something. ex. her sounding pissed when evan was in connor's room, asking him why he was there. she wasn't hurt or anything, she just wanted to know. but it comes off as very sharp and harsh. she definitely does not understand tone and… i also don’t so yk! zoe's potential autistic-coded being so ignored messes me up. "women getting ignored in the mental health field" quota filled with this musical/book's fandom i guess. good lord, zoe is genuinely such an interesting character, and it pains me that she’s just… ignored all the time. it’s the fact that she’s so obviously a main character. i mean in the playbill, at least the one i have… the way the actors are listed, assumably, is by their status as characters, as in… main lead, and leads. and then supporting cast (as well as understudies & such).

(photo evidence of the listed cast lol)

(touring cast of this year. michael fabisch plays evan, hatty ryan king plays zoe, bre cade plays heidi, caitlin sams plays cynthia, alex pharo plays connor, jeff banks plays larry, gabriel vernon nunag plays jared, makena jackson plays alana… the rest are understudies & the voices we hear when social media posts appear. this… order objectively makes sense for character appearances imo. zoe is… in a bunch of the story and is a very important character. just rambling here though.)

zoe is a character that has a huge story in the show and… she’s ignored because??? idk? she’s a woman? and people in this fandom don’t care about women it seems!

i could go on for HOURS about connor because his symptoms really replicate mine, and it's VERY easy for me to point out, but i'll give my small little rant. from the very start, described by evan in the book, he knew connor from previous classes as children. obviously they were never close, but he saw him in grade school. he describes just knowing connor as basically the kid who… cried a lot. now crying a ton isn’t a neurotypical vs neurodivergent thing. it happens to both kinds of people. but the reason for crying may lead to the realization of “oh! this character might be autistic!”. for connor, as a younger child, we see the cause in one story for why connor may have cried a lot in school. this is the infamous “mrs g” story mentioned in the musical. he cried and got angry because he wasn’t line leader that day, mostly because of the fact he WAS supposed to be line leader that day, and the fact he wasn’t subverted his expectations. for a lot of autistic people, and for me, when things don’t go routinely, they tend to get upset. it’s smart to assume the crying would come from that, feeling overwhelmed day after day.

honest to god; i was going to type a lot more after this but i have about no energy to. my shortest explanation is read the book, connor’s parts. explains a LOT on why i think he’s autistic. i could probably tell you more later but i don’t want this ramble to sit in my drafts for five weeks so.

i also see how people could argue that alana & jared are autistic, but there’s the fact that we don’t really get to hear from them as characters all that much, so we can’t full determine it from there.

but alana i will go out and say, yes, she probably has autism. like her character really reads as autistic person trying their hardest to mask but kind of just… failing somewhat?

jared…? idk. he’s… i could care less man. i don’t want to analyze that asshole more than i have to. i can see the point people try and make with jared, and i can go “sure! yeah!” but. i don’t want to talk about him. he’s the bane of my existence i swear.

anyways yeah that was my little autism ramble i. am so sick and tired of typing rn 🙏

[kyeterna]

A conversation that never happened

I wonder what Mordei feels so guilty about

Bonus, actual in character Glow response: